#i was like i will literally get in my car and come over and they were like noooo its fine. we'll just test it out ourselves
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put it all on red (bull) | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem russell reader
her brother won the race? does she know? does she care?
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
liked by alexalbon, georgerussell63 and 204,300 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: VIVA LAS VEGAS
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user3: this is fucking hilarious
user4: her whole ass brother won the actual race and there's not a peep of him on the post
user5: i mean her boyfriend did win the championship...
yourusername: exactlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i mean my instagram is for pretty girls only
user6: do not erase george's beauty
yourusername: nothing to erase girlypop - FUGLY!
user7: the way the guys are in the media pen and can't see that y/n is coming for their necks in instagram comments
user8: i fear she's already started drinking...
user9: in the back of the sky broadcast she hands max a drink and i'm starting to suspect that it was not water or red bull
user10: LMAO HELMUT TOOK A SIP AND LIKE NEARLY FELL OVER
yourusername: i've never claimed to be good at mixing drinks
maxverstappen1: WHERE WAS THE TONIC ???
yourusername: i don't believe in tonic đ
maxverstappen1: YOU GAVE ME STRAIGHT GIN?
yourusername: straight đ€Ł
maxverstappen1: Y/N THAT'S ATTEMPTED MURDER ON HELMUT ???
yourusername: free me i did nothing wrong !!!
user11: these people kill me
user12: sign of a healthy relationship is making gay allegations about each other
yourusername: ALLEGATIONS ???
yourusername: george is lucky that he was the first russell carmen met ...
georgerussell63: RIGHT, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH
georgerussell63: thank you for the congratulations but STOP flirting with MY girlfriend
yourusername: congratulations??? for what?
georgerussell63: WINNING THE RACE?
yourusername: boring!
georgerussell63: you are so lucky we're family because you are a few cards short of a deck
yourusername: CARDS? that reminds me ... time to gamble!
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1: winning without the fastest car isn't for everyone
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user13: this caption has y/n russell written all over it
yukitsunoda0511: i sat here and watched them giggle to themselves for a good five minutes while posting this
user14: tell max to post more pictures like the second one
yukitsunoda0511: they are not safe for innocent eyes and they are not taken with a locked door :/
user15: why are you there ???
yukitsunoda0511: they're very generous when they're drunk !
user16: so real
yukitsunoda0511: it's also not just me :(
user17: just how many people are using the bar tab?
liamlawson30: me!
oscarpiastri: me!
charles_leclerc: me!
landonorris: me!
pierregasly: me!
alexalbon: me!
yourusername: broke bitches
carlossainz55: you do not have a job?
yourusername: gambling and being pretty is more of a job that what you will have next season đ€š
carlossainz55: has anyone ever told you you're a really mean drunk
yourusername: just george about a billion times, you get used to it (we just don't invite you out)
user18: she is just dragging anyone now
user19: hold on that is her boyfriend's work boyfriend's enemy
user20: girl is 90% of lestappen twitter's source and you think she's not gonna have a problem with sainz???
yourusername: you're so sexy i actually can't even function
maxverstappen1: gotta put the trophy in trophy husband somehow
yourusername: jokes aside i am super duper proud of you, this year has been insane and you've proven that you are the bestest eva
maxverstappen1: couldn't have done it without my fave cheerleader
yourusername: i'll wear the uniform and everything ....
schecoperez: STOP
georgerussell63: still no congratulations? i know you won the title or whatever but we're going to be brothers soon SHOW SOME RESPECT
yourusername: literally suck his dick
yourusername: wait no
yourusername: suck my dick
yourusername: WAIT NO
yourusername: choke â€ïž
georgerussell63: i have no words at this point
maxverstappen1: so romantic hehehehe
yourusername
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yourusername: put it all on on red (bull)
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user22: ma'am why is there a cat?
user23: i think we already know the answer
user24: oh i know the answer i just wanna know the batshit explanation
georgerussell63: exsqueeze me ???
yourusername: don't speak like that about your nephew ??
georgerussell63: tell me you're not keeping it??
maxverstappen1: IT? HE JUST LEAPFROGGED YOU IN OUR WILL
georgerussell63: 1. you have a joint will ??? 2. why am i on it ??? 3. what is a cat doing with a monaco penthouse ???
maxverstappen1: i thought you could use the money ? i know toto ain't paying you what he promised me
yourusername: george your weird sugar daddy is more broke than you think sorry xx
georgerussell63: once again, what is stopping me taking the monaco house from a literal cat ?
yourusername: caesar will be very aware of his rights string bean - just because you talk in an uppity accent doesn't mean you actually know anything
georgerussell63: i cannot tell who corrupted who but i am sick of being your victim :(
user25: yes as fun as watching them dog george is i do want to know caesar's origin story
user26: i have a very bad feeling i know where he got his name
alexalbon: HE'S NOT NAMED AFTER THE CASINO IS HE?
yourusername: ding ding ding we have a winner, always knew you were the smarter half of galex
maxverstappen1: your gambling is getting out of hand
yourusername: did i or did i not win us a cat ?
maxverstappen1: AND ÂŁ250,000 ???
yourusername: didn't want to promote gambling too much
yourusername: KIDS DO NOT GAMBLE IT IS DUMB
yourusername: look at me i literally have a child now ???
user27: we have lost the original plot of the movie
user28: you must be new, we stopped trying to make sense of these two years ago
lewishamilton: i can assure you it does not get any easier when you know them personally
yourusername: we aim to be sexy and mysterious
lewishamilton: that's strange because you guys dance like little boys and overshare at any given opportunity
maxverstappen1: guilty !
georgerussell63
liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 873,409 others
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georgerussell63: i won the las vegas grand prix and all i got was this lousy cat
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user29: i am sensing a y/n and max meltdown incoming
user30: maybe they're too hungover to argue?
yourusername: NEVER
maxverstappen1: LOUSY CAT? FIRST OF ALL HE'S NOT YOURS SO KEEP HIS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND ALSO I WILL KILL YOU WITH A GUN
georgerussell63: excuse me?
yourusername: do NOT threaten my boyfriend !!!!!!!!
georgerussell63: do you have selective sight or something?
yourusername: no i just like him more than i like you
georgerussell63: you only met him because of me?
maxverstappen1: i have faith we would've found each other regardless we have a SOUL TIE
yourusername: EXACTLY
georgerussell63: i give up.
yourusername: this is exactly why you don't have a championship ... no drive (pun intended)
georgerussell63: NOW THAT'S IT
maxverstappen1: are you threatening my girlfriend?
georgerussell63: OMG LEAVE ME ALONE
user31: their commitment to never letting george have a day of peace is really quite charming
user32: they're going to give him grey hairs before he even turns 27
alexalbon: i gotta say georgie, i'm not with you on this one - caesar is THE dude
georgerussell63: are all my eggs falling out of the basket at once?
maxverstappen1: that's called karma for calling caesar 'it' and a lousy cat
georgerussell63: i can't lie i am missing your honeymoon phase you guys were a lot nicer
yourusername: we never left the honeymoon phase we just like annoying all of you
maxverstappen1: makes you people leave us alone :3
landonorris: you don't have to be mean to do that
yourusername: YOU JUST GOT OFF OF THIN ICE NORRIS WATCH YOUR STEP
user33: they can make excuses all these want but they just like annoying everyone else
user34: i mean based on their vegas shenanigans i think they would be super fun to be around
yourusername: oscar literally came to stay while he 'looked for a flat' in monaco and hasn't left... it's been three months. face it we're a HOOT
oscarpiastri: they are fun! the secret is to not be annoying sorry george!
maxverstappen1: they grow up so fast :')
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1: took a gamble when i went for the lanky posh dude's sister and i can now say it was definitely worth it
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user37: bro says snug as a bug in a rug once and now he's labelled as posh HE'S FROM NORFOLK
user38: it's also the way that y/n never gets the posh allegations
georgerussell63: it's because she's scruffy as fuck x
maxverstappen1: literally outside your house with a knife, keep talking
georgerussell63: i'm a grown man, max, you don't scare me
maxverstappen1: so i'm free to do a little gardening while you hide inside?
georgerussell63: you wouldn't...
yourusername: GO FOR THE PEONIES MAX
georgerussell63: NOT THE PEONIES I BEG HAVE MERCY
user39: so i'm supposed to read all of this shit and take them seriously when they get in the car
user40: it's part of the charm i think
user41: it's all fun and games until you remember they are full grown adults who can vote who are arguing over flowers
yourusername: i'd go through the strenuous task of growing up with george thousands more times just to be with you
maxverstappen1: i've been in love with you since i was 14, there has never been anyone else for me and there will never be anyone else for me
yourusername: ugh why didn't we just get married in vegas ?
maxverstappen1: because even though i did just harm his flowers, i do want to marry you in front of our families
yourusername: i guess you're right
georgerussell63: you know what? based on how you usually talk to me... i'm touched
yourusername: if i'm feeling generous i'll even let you do the seating chart
georgerussell63: I LOVE YOU BEST SISTER EVER
user42: only a declaration of love between max and y/n could end with george proclaiming his love for charts
user43: how does one procure an invite to this wedding ...
yourusername: be cunty
yourusername: @zakbrownceo YOU'RE BARRED
yourusername
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yourusername: i'm the sibling who can't drive and yet i'm the one with four championship trophies in their house... george, step your pussy up x
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user44: omg queen who can't drive, she's such representation
yourusername: george says i'm so mean all the time but really i'm generous, i clearly gave him all the driving genes
user45: have you even tried driving?
yourusername: i went on max's sim once and got motion sickness and i'm also with the best driver in the world and siblings with an okay one - i'm surviving
alexalbon: he's already texted me about your language on this post
yourusername: just because he's a boomer in a string bean's body does not mean i must censor myself - he should know what stepping his pussy up means by now
georgerussell63: i will not be stepping on any pussy, i respect both felines and women
maxverstappen1: you called caesar 'it' so PLEASE
georgerussell63: i respect women?
maxverstappen1: you called y/n scruffy?
georgerussell63: that's y/n it doesn't count
maxverstappen1: that's not very feminist of you george. i am disappointed
yourusername: i agree, i really think the GDPA should reconsider the type of person they're letting run it
georgerussell63: huh?
yourusername: not once have i been invited to a grid meal ....
georgerussell63: well you're not on the grid that's why
yourusername: FEMALE EXCLUSION
maxverstappen1: you know we have attachment issues, you're so heartless george
georgerussell63: what is going on ???
yourusername: you CLEARLY don't care about me
maxverstappen1: and you CLEARLY don't care about the wellbeing of the grid
georgerussell63: I'M SORRY???
user46: george is unbelievably easy to rattle
user47: it must be so fun
yourusername: oh believe me, we have way too much fun
maxverstappen1: we once convinced him that it was a social faux pas to shake hands in japan lol
georgerussell63: IS THAT WHY MERCEDES WERE TOLD THAT EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS REALLY RUDE ???
yourusername: LMAOOOOOOOO
maxverstappen1: so so so easy bro
user48: i guess a couple that plays mind tricks together, stay together?
yourusername: 4eva
maxverstappen1: til death do us part
yourusername: quite literally you're not leaving me alone with GEORGE
georgerussell63: you know what: DIE
yourusername: GASP
maxverstappen1: @fia get his ass
fin.
note: HAPPY MAX VERSTAPPEN CHAMPIONSHIP DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE. IE. ME LOL
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen
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141 What If....
You ask him to leave the uniform on? đ„”đ„”đ„”đ„”
I am feral over this. FERAL. Literally chewing on my own arm because I need to calm down. Your prompts always get me going. I totally blame you for this. Now, I went with a little variety here. We've got Kyle in formal military dress, John coming home from deployment, Johnny returning on break for a quickie, and Simon playing out a pre discussed fantasy. Enjoy!!!
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x Female Reader
Content & Warnings: established relationship, CNC, breeding, restraints, welcome home sex, quickies, formal events, semi-public sex, unprotected piv (wrap it up irl), sex in a car, dirty talk, brief knifeplay, light degradation
Word Count: 3.3k
ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
John Price
Johnâs return is delayed.
He was supposed to come home to you a month ago. But it wasnât him that notified you about his postponed reunion. Someone from SAS contacted you via the post. The envelope held a singular piece of paper. No apology. Just black ink on a white sheet with an official letterhead. John has always been good about making sure you know when heâll return. It's something you constantly worry about.
While on a mission, you won't hear from himâthis you know. But whenever he is able, John makes an effort to let you know when to expect him or if he's okay.
To not hear from him is odd, and it stirs up all sorts of emotions, pushing your brain toward any number of possibilities. Each scenario appears briefly before sliding into another. They worsenâand then youâre sick, stomach twisted into a tight knot.
That piece of paper is on the kitchen counter. Untouchedâbut not forgotten. It said yesterday. And yesterday, John did not return.
Youâre chewing on your fingernails. Pacing. Stressing.
It's the familiar squeak of the doorknob from the front door that finally stalls your racing thoughts. All that mental energy becomes physical. You're sprinting, throwing yourself at John the moment he enters.
He chucklesâthe sound is pleasant and soothing to your heart.
âDidnât think youâd be home,â he says, drawing you close.
Your answer is to wrap your arms around the back of his neck, and seize a kiss from him that says so much. You need John to know how much youâve missed himâhow worried youâve been.
His hands on your hips tighten, squeezing slightly as he melts under your kisses. Each one is desperate. Needy. You savor him like youâll never know this again. John's grip on you is firm, and much stronger than you can resist. He draws you away from himânot enough to create a separationâbut enough to talk.
âSlow down, love. Let me look at you.â His hands move to your face, cradling your cheeks. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too," you reply. You pull him close again. "Need you." Just a murmur, hardly audible, but John hears it.
He does not resist. He gives in, accepting your love, answering every kiss and touch with one of his own. Hands roam, fingers cling, and yet you're not nearly close enough. You need him on his back with you atop him.
John breaks away, breathing heavy, lips slightly puffy from kissing you. "Bedroom."
You shake your head. "Right here,â you reply, going in for another kiss. âUniform stays on.â
The middle of John's brow scrunches slightly in confusion, but your fingers are already looping in his belt buckles, guiding him into the living room. That brief moment of confusion morphs into a sultry smirk.
John allows you to guide, allows you to push him onto his back on the sofa. His hands never leave your body, they roam constantly even as you undo the front of his pants and shimmy them down to mid-thigh.
You have him in hand instantly, coaxing him to hardness quickly. The need for him is a driving force, positioning yourself above him, ready to impale yourself.
John's hand slips between your legs, fingers finding your center. "Yourâfuck." The sound of your slickness greets him and John groans.
Placing your hands on his chest, John palms the base of his cock, lining it up. You don't slowly ease down. You drop, accepting every inch of him in one go. There is a brief flare of pain from the rapid intrusion, and then it's gone, replaced with the fullness of him inside you.
With your palms splayed wide, you're able to rock your hips, moving up and down his length in a steady movement that has both of you groaning.
"I missed you," he murmurs as you come back down on him. "FuckâI missed you."
Your thighs start to burn with every bounce. John's fingers dig into your hips, dragging downward before ascending again. With the next roll of your hips, John meets you, thrusting up. It cuts a sharp gasp from your lips.
He grips harder, taking control. You cling to the front of his uniform, fisting the fabric as John brings you down just as he thrusts upward. It is not sweet. It is brutal and desperate. Each connection drags more pleasure out of you until your head falls back and you clench around him.
With a deep groan, John sits up, and effortlessly flips you over onto your back. Pinned beneath him, there is nowhere to go. All you can do is take what he gives.
John buries his face against your neck. "Love you so much."
You hook your heels behind his legs, urging him on. "Love you," you manage to gasp.
It is all sweat and heat. John's lips graze the line of your throat and then your chin. You turn toward him, the two of you meeting as he holds his body against yours, his release flooding your pussy.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Kyle drapes his arm over your shoulder, tugging you against him, the noise of the function receding with every step. Usually when the two of you attend a formal function together, Kyle is in a suit, but this attendance was requested by Kyle's superior officer, Captain John Price.
Instead of a suit, Kyle wears his formal military dress. The uniform is freshly steamed and free of wrinkles. His shoes are polished to perfection. Like this, he's incredibly handsome. You've been admiring him all night, resisting the urge to touch him too much around people he works with on a regular basis.
"Can't wait to take this bloody thing off," sighs Kyle, lightly tugging on the neckline of his uniform.
You rest your head against his shoulder, savoring his warmth. "I think you look rather dashing."
"Dashing?" he laughs.
As the two of you enter the parking garage, you snag his hat, placing it on your head. Kyle's smile widens. He leans in for a kiss, greedily accepting what you offer him. Removing the car keys from his pocket, Kyle hits the button to unlock the vehicle. The SUV beeps, headlights coming on.
Kyle takes his hat back, holding it with one hand instead of putting it back on his head. He offers his mouth again and you close the distance.
"Can't wait to get that dress off you, love," he murmurs against your lips. âBeen thinking about it all evening.â
You place your hand against his chest. "I think I'd like it if you leave the uniform on."
Kyle nearly chokes. "What?" he draws back slightly.
With a mischievous grin, you tug Kyle around the side of the SUV. The vehicle is in a corner spot, leaving the two of you tucked between it and a cement wall. There is no camera and no light. Both of you are hidden in shadow.
No one will notice the two of you unless they come looking.
You lean in slowly, offering your mouth. Kyle places his hand on the side of your throat, thumb slowly rubbing against the front of your neck. The kiss is honey-sweet, and tinted with seductive need. You seek another, and yet another until the two of you are gasping for air.
"Not here," murmurs Kyle, drawing back slightly.
Your hand slides downward, pausing at his belt. Kyle whispers your name, but there is no fight in it. If anything, it is lustful. Fingers toying with the belt, you kiss him again, loosening the buckle and then the front of his pants.
Reaching your hand inside, you find him hard and wanting.
"Someone will see," he groans, grabbing your wrist.
"Who will see us?" you reply softly. Kyle's gaze shifts outward to the parking garage.
"No one is around." You start to descend, opening his pants further.
Kyle's attention returns to you. His pupils expand as you take him in hand, painting your bottom lip with a pearly bead of cum. You present your glossy mouth to him, and Kyle brushes the pad of his thumb across it.
You lightly nip at that thumb, and then take him into your mouth. Kyle stifles his groan, but it comes out as a muted whimper. He gently cups the back of your head as you suck him down, hollowing your cheeks when you come back up.
This is just a tease. You want his resolve to slip.
Kyle doesn't break eye contact. He is completely focused on watching you. His dick twitches in your mouth, and Kyle grunts.
"Fuck, love. Come here."
With gentle tenderness, Kyle grasps the back of your neck, easing you off him. You extended your legs, leaning into him.
His voice is slightly husky. "I can't wait until we're home."
Kyle opens the rear passenger door and helps you up into the seat. You slide backward to the other end, Kyle following. With a hand on your throat, he pushes you onto your back. These next kisses are rough and possessive. Hungry. Claiming. You open for him, wanting to consume.
His free hand is gripping your dress, shoving it upward where it collects at your hips. Your tongue meets his the moment his fingers slip between skin and underwear. It is brief, and then he's drawing back only to bury his face between your legs.
Digging your heels into Kyle's back to stabilize yourself, you give in, moaning loudly as his tongue swirls a path up and down your sex. He teases just like you teased him. But it is short-lived.
Kyle is desperate for you. He finds your clit and stays put, tongue working quickly to send you over the edge. Your body shudders, a breathy groan escaping you as the orgasm hits. Still on your back, Kyle ascends, one hand pressed to the inside of your thigh while the other finds leverage against the car door just above your head. You lift your hips slightly, presenting your pussy to him.
He takes the hint, thrusting deep.
He does not go slowly. It is skin slapping against skin. It is all low groans and desperate fingers. His body weight keeps you pinned, and if anyone were to open door they'd have a clear view of his bare ass.
"Don't stop," you beg. "Please."
Kyle's answer is to seize your mouth, to force his air into your lungs, to firmly press his body to yours and swivel his hips, pelvis grinding against clit. Your hands fall on his ass, and then he's transformed. An animal. Rutting.
Surely, the car is shaking, but you hardly care. You only want him to finish. To give you every drop of his release.
You feel his muscles tighten under your hands, and then your bodies are sealed.
There is a small pause between then and the moment he kisses you, this time tenderly.
"So much for waiting," you tease.
Kyleâs exhalation is a pleased one. "Just wait until we get home."
John "Soap" MacTavish
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"
Johnny's smile is devilish. "Came to see you."
"Me?" you laugh. "You just saw me this morning."
"And it wasn't nearly enough," coos Johnny, grabbing hip and waist, tugging you against him. "Missed you the whole time. Couldn't stay away."
Before you can form a reply, Johnny is lifting you up and onto the kitchen counter. He pushes everything up and out of the way, revealing your pussy to him.
"Johnny!" you exclaim.
With one hand on your thigh, Johnny uses his other hand to remove his belt and undo the front of his pants.
"I came home to fuck my wife." You instantly feel your cheeks grow hot. With a sultry smile, Johnny leans in but doesn't close the distance. "Would you like that?"
You nod. "Yes," you reply, voice nearly a whisper. "Butâ"
"But what?" he asks. You gesture at him. "The uniform? That stays on, love."
Guiding you wider, Johnny circles your clit with the pad of his thumb. The touch is electric, making you shiver as he toys with your sensitivity.
"Look at that," he purrs. "Look how wet and ready you are for me."
You whimper as Johnny tests your pussy with a finger.
"I think this deserves something bigger. What do you think, love?" He inserts a second and you whimper again. "Use your words."
"I want you inside me."
"I am inside you," he teases, pumping both fingers.
You shake your head, gasping as his thumb toys with your clit. "Your dick, Johnny."
"That I can do." His fingers are gone instantly, replaced with the head of his cock. He holds himself just inside, inching slowly until you've taken him to the base. "We'll have to make this quick. Can't be late and disappoint Price."
Johnny lightly swivels his hips, and then he's holding you in place, thrusting steadily. He kisses your lips, then your cheek. Resting his forehead against your temple, Johnny boxes you in, using your pussy for himself.
"You take me so well," he says softly. "Watch. Want you to watch."
Your gaze shifts downward, locking on to where your bodies meet. Keeping one hand on the countertop to stabilize yourself, you bring the other between your legs, fingers lightly playing with your clit.
"That's it," purrs Johnny. "Come for me."
A brief swirl and you're gone, squeezing hard around Johnny. He fucks you through it, grunting as he increases his pace. With a moan that claws up his throat, Johnny seals your bodies together, and his warmth floods your pussy. He thrusts lightly and stills.
A beat of silence, and then you both burst out into laughter.
"Fucking hell," he mutters, shaking his head.
"You came all this way on a break just to have sex with me?" you laugh.
Johnny leans back, grinning sheepishly. He glances down at his watch, smile fading. "Shit."
He pulls out and steps back, fumbling with his pants.
"Are you going to be late?" you ask teasingly.
Johnny tightens his belt and then helps you off the counter. With a quick kiss to the cheek, he heads out the door.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
Every light in the house is off. The blinds are closed and it's completely dark except in one particular room.
The deep red glow calls out to you like a siren song. You stride toward it, moving through the hall silently like a shadow. The bedroom door stands open, revealing the blood-tinged space. From your point of view, nothing is out of place. All is calm and as it should be.
But Simon is here somewhere. Lurking. Watching.
This is what you wanted after all. An idea you passed off to Simon with the hope that he'd indulge your fantasy. Clearly, he took it to heart.
Adrenaline spikes in your blood as your gaze focuses on the bed. Attached to each corner are wrist and ankle cuffs. To be immobile and bred at Simon's pleasure is all you asked for, and here it is.
As you step forward, a large gloved hand slides over the front of your throat, squeezing. Simon is right behind you, and you feel every inch of him. Without even having to look, you know Simon is in full tactical gear. Parts of it dig into your back.
The leather of his gloves squeak as his fingers adjust against your throat. With a little pressure, he tilts your head back and you meet his whiskey-brown eyes. It's all you can see of his face. The rest is shrouded behind a balaclava.
"Do as I say," he growls. "Or you'll make this harder on yourself."
His command sends a bolt of need straight to your clit. Already, you feel a growing slickness between your thighs.
"Answer me if you understand."
"I understand," you murmur.
Simon makes a pleased sound deep in his throat. His thumb rubs a gentle line back and forth over the same spot.
His head tilts, lips pressing against your ear through the balaclava. "Then be a good little slut and get on your back."
Using his leverage on your throat, Simon lightly shoves you toward the bed. This time you turn around, facing him completely for the first time. He's dressed in all black tactical gear. Every inch of him is covered except his eyes, and his large frame fills the doorway.
When you take a step back, he takes a step forward. The backs of your thighs hit the bed, and you push yourself up and on, reclining until you're nearly horizontal. Simon saunters, gaze predatory and observing. His gloved hands hover just above your legs, pausing there before he bends slightly, reaching for an ankle cuff.
Simon glances between it and you languidly. You're not sure what his intentions are, not until he grabs your ankle with his other hand and tugs hard. You yelp, surprised, and then you kick out, attempting but failing to free yourself as Simon attaches the cuff into place.
"You said you understood," he growls, as you sit up to swing on him.
Simon snatches your wrist right out of the air. He hops onto the bed, kneeling as he grabs one of the cuffs for your wrists. Still, you fight and still you fail as he latches it in place.
You're not immobile but you're more restrained than before, movement restricted enough that you can't fight back like you want to. Not that you want to escape.
With a fluidity that surprises, Simon removes a knife from his boot and hooks it under the hem of your shirt. A sharp tug and the fabric surrenders to the blade. Simon tears it further, removing the garment completely.
As you use your one free arm to lash out, Simon is already prepared, blocking the blow and forcing it back to the bed. He attaches the cuff and returns the knife to your clothes, splitting your pants and tossing the remains aside.
You're on your back, completely naked and cuffed to the bed.
Simon's hand wraps around your throat, the knife tip dangerously close to your face. "I was going to worship your pretty pussy," he murmurs. "But I think I'll just take what I want."
It's all a gameâa scene. You want Simon to use you, to fuck you ceaselessly, to do whatever the fuck he wants because he can.
Simon flips the knife and imbeds it into the bed above your head. Slowly, he removes his belt, tossing it aside. When he opens the front of his pants and eases them down a fraction, you nearly groan at the sight of his hardness. Simon palms the base of his cock.
"I won't be gentle," he says, gloved fingers pressing against your pussy.
He rubs back and forth, easing a little more from your body before grabbing your hips and slamming home. There is a brief flare of pain from the intrusion and then nothing at all except excitement.
"Your body is mine," he growls as he fucks you. "And for the next twenty-four hours, I'm going to breed this pussy until I'm satisfied."
You are unable to move, unable to do much but take it. Simon is situated between your spread legs, and you have a clear view of his cock sliding in and out of you. If you want an orgasm, Simon will have to grant it. Begging for it won't get you anywhere. You need to be good, and then he'll reward you.
Simon grunts as he thrusts, pace increasing as he nears his end. Watching him is lovely. His groan is lust-drenched, his orgasm sending a little shudder through him that you feel in your core.
Simon's gaze shifts to between your legs where he slowly pulls out. "What a fucking sweet sight," he murmurs, more to himself than to you.
His cum pools at your entrance, threatening to drip out. Soon you'll be overly full, a mess between your legs and on the bed.
Already Simon is stroking himself back to hardness. "Think that cunt of yours needs a bit more.
taglist:
@glitterypirateduck @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath
@ferns-fics @tulipsun-flower @miss-mistinguett @ninman82 @eternallyvenus
@beebeechaos @smileykiddie08 @whisperwispxx @chaostwinsofdestruction @weasleytwins-41
@saoirse06 @unhinged-reader-36 @ravenpoe67 @sageyxbabey @mudisgranapat
@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @yawning-grave81 @azkza @nishim
@voids-universe @iloveslasher @talooolaaloolla @sadlonelybagel @haven-1307
@itsberrydreemurstuff @cod-z @keiva1000 @littlemisscriesherselftosleep @blackhawkfanatic
@sammysinger04 @kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie @kadeeesworld
@keiva1000 @jackrabbitem @arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez @waves-against-a-cliff
@ash-tarte @marispunk @gingergirl06 @certainlygay @greeniegreengreen
#simon riley x reader#task force 141#task force 141 smut#ghost smut#soap smut#task force 141 x reader#task force 141 x you#task force 141 x female reader#simon ghost riley fanfiction#simon ghost riley#simon riley fanfic#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley fanfic#john soap mactavish#simon riley#john price x reader#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick x reader#kyle garrick cod#kyle gaz smut#john price smut#captain john price smut#price x reader#captain price x reader#soap x reader#soap call of duty#kyle gaz x you#gaz x reader#simon ghost x reader
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I love the batfamily and daughter series!!! Now, I know this would be incredibly difficult for daughter reader to achieve but what if she kissed someone at school? When they do ask she doesn't deny it she just says, "Yeah. I kissed that person. I like them and they're smart, talented, and respectful. Shouldn't you be proud I picked someone like that?" or something along the lines of it. Thank you for reading!!!!
Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling Masterlist
She is absolutely in trouble, so much trouble.
Damian is the first person to find out because he sees it happen, it is after school and they are supposed to be heading home because Dick is picking them up and waiting for them. Damian goes out to look for her only to find her kissing a boy from her class in the staircase and oh my god he is pissed. If he had not been restraining himself for the sake of their civilian identities he would have probably beaten the boy to death or damn near it, but instead he shoves him against the wall, holding his collar.
âIf you dare even talk to my sister again I will end you, do you understand me?â
âY-yesâ
He then proceeds to drop the boy to the ground and drag his sister along to the car where Dick is waiting and he immediately tries to defuse the situation when Damian quite violently shoves her in the backseat of the car.
âHey, hey, Damian you know we donât ever get violent with her-â
âShe was engaging in inappropriate behavior with a boy in the stairwell, Richard. Which is also not allowed, father has made that very clear.â
âLet⊠let me talk to him about this, you two need to behave.â
He drives them both back to the manor and while no words are said the disappointment is incredibly heavy, she can see Dick looking back at her in the rear view mirror with glances that make her heart sink to her gut.
The thing is when they get home Bruce already knows what happened, the boyâs parents called the principalâs office and now there was a whole lot of trouble brewing because of their actions. Bruce scolds Damian first, because of his threat and violent action he may have and up getting expelled and so now theyâll be having the family over to make amends and clear up this whole mess. Then after that his daughter gets chewed out for breaking one of the rules, sheâs far too young (even if she is a teenager by this point ), what if he finds out about their secret identities, what if she and her mother get put in danger because that information gets leaked? It is one of those situations where he speaks without letting her speak, letting go her guilt build up to get his point across.
âFather, he is the top of my class, he is part of the service outreach program, he is-â
âThat is not the point, it is to keep you safe, to keep your mother safe. There are people out there who would hurt you and your mother if they found out. I am not letting anyone die again.â
âFather-â
âI will pull you out of school if you keep fighting me on this, young lady.â
âFineâŠâ
She just agreed to not fight him on this, not to not kiss or date the boy.
Tim found out by listening to Damian talking to a very stressed out Dick about it and well curiosity and caution get the better of him and he does a whole background check on the boy and his family to find something to show to his little sister that this is not the type of person she want to be around or dating-
Perfect, he is literally spotless, so is his family, quite literally model citizens.
He is very bitter about this fact and it only infuriates him more because he does not want his little sister with him but there is not solid reason to give. So when the boy and his parents come by to sort out this incident, Tim hates him already, he is just so insanely perfect.
Then there is Jason who looks like he is about ready to strangle the kid when he sees him walk through the door of the manor with his parents. Tim may or may not have found the footage of what happened in the schoolâs security cameras and shown them to Bruce and the others, and at first Jason did not really care, she broke the rules so she will deal with the consequences, but then he sees the video and he is pissed. That boy was practically feeling up his little sister and she was to him, but that doesnât matter. Then also like Tim, he hates how perfect he is, literally nothing to really hate, he is respectful to his sister, talented, romantic, a goody two shoes.
The other family is very civil, even after the fact that Damian threatened their son. All of them have to keep calm when they see their little sister and this boy laughing and talking all during dinner. Bruce even had to grab Jason to hold him back when the boy kisses her cheek when saying goodbye after the incident has been resolved.
âWhat? Shouldnât you be happy I picked someone who is nothing like you?â
She is grounded for half a year.
Aldo a little extra bit to think about, her boyfriend and his family being a part of the Court of Owls and he is a potential yandere for her, just a thought.
#yandere dc x reader#yandere dc#yandere justice league x reader#yandere justice league#yandere bruce wayne#yandere bruce wayne x reader#yandere batman#yandere batman x reader#yandere batfam#platonic yandere batfam#platonic yandere#yandere batfamily#platonic yandere batfamily#platonic yandere dc#platonic yandere bruce wayne#yandere damian wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake
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this gorgeous woman was in your daughter's grade growing up. Her family lives in the neighborhood, she went to the same private schools as your kids, family went to the same church. You met after work by chance at a bar where you had gone with friends to watch a sports playoff. She was there with her sorority alum group. You bumped into her at the bar literally. You apologized, she smiled and laughed it off. You forgot about the game and bought her a drink âto make up for it.â You were into a different sort of game now. Never mind youâre over twice her age. Youâre divorced now but stillâŠ. Your sleeves are rolled up, sheâs tracing a pretty manicured nail along your forearm. Sheâs sitting turned on the barstool so your knees touch. Finally she asks for your phone. You ask why, suspiciously. She says, âso I can give you my number, silly!â You wait a couple of days to call. Your girlfriend is out of town, visiting friends. Friday night by yourself. Too boring to take, so you text the day before. Sheâs free. You meet at the place you suggest for dinner, kinda pricey French place, romantic, elegant, dark. You ask whatâs sheâs doing after, she says nothing. In town for a wedding tmr. Staying at â- hotel, ubered over here, so can you give her a lift back? In the car, says she likes your car, almost purring, maybe from the wine, sheâs leaning on your arm, twisted around in her seat so you can see a little bit down her blouse, saw a flash of a pretty lace bra, nice tits, but youâre driving, maybe youâre imagining things. Get a hold of yourself, man! You pull up under the porte cocherĂš at her hotel, which you note is one of the nicest in town. Youâre ready for her to get out and you be on your way, maybe a hug or a sweet kiss on the cheek at most. She says, casually as all hell, âyou coming up?â In the elevator, a kiss. Yes, a real kiss, bodies touching, tongues entwined, honest-to-god kiss. Uh oh. Now youâre here in her room. Sheâs kneeling on the bed in her lingerie, youâre down to your t-shirt and boxer briefs, your dress shirt and suit pants hanging on a chair. She has a suite, of course. You donât have to be in the bedroom, but you are, half naked. Whatâs your next move? Are you going to fuck your daughterâs grown-up school friend?
Bringing Delights To The Afternoon đ„đ„đ„
#seduction#age-gap romance#daughterâs friend from school#unbelievable situation#sexy woman in black lingerie#what would you do
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thinking about roommate!choso, who, after fucking you for the first time, decides its the only thing he likes anymore.
besides spending time with you, and watching movies with you, and smoking with you.
you know those âphysical needs, physiological needs, spiritual needsâ pyramids you learn about in highschool? yeah, chosos goes fucking you in bed, fucking you in his car, fucking you on the bathroom counter, fucking you on the couch, and thenâand only thenâcomes eat, sleep, drink.
he cant stop himself. i mean, reallyâwhen youâre walking around with your ass practically hanging out of your shorts, tight shirt with no bra underneath, how can you blame him for bending you over the nearest surface and barely taking the time to pull your panties off? (he doesnât, just pushes them to the side or pulls them down enough to expose your wet cunt. just for his stupidly big cock to bully into your cervix as usual.)
and how can you blame him, when hes so sweet to you when hes quite literally pounding you over the back of the couch? all that comes out of his mouth is âiâm sorry, baby, âm sorry, but you know how i get when you tease meâ and âi love you, thank youâ over and over and over until hes pumping you full of his cum and then dropping to his knees to watch while he stuffs you full of his fingers to make sure you cant fake cumminâ for him.
so what, heâs a little anxious. what is he if he cant please you, though?
and maybe he has a bit of aâŠdisregard for protection. it just feels so much better when he isnt hindering himself with a condom, obviously!
and maybe he likes watching you drool into his chest when hes done with you; watching his nut ooooze out of your cunt and make a mess wherever hes fucked you this time.
sure, you scold him after every timeâ âyou gotta use protection next time, cho, i donâ wanna get pregnant.â you grumble, even while your lips are locked with his and just by his half-lidded eyes and dilated pupils you know hes not quite done with you yet.
deep down, you know maybe you wouldnât mind having chosos babies.
not that youâll tell him that. heâs very weak to your suggestions, and you donât know what youâd do if he got it in his head that he wanted to marry you and pump you full of his kids.
âŠmaybe you two should have a talk on where this whole roommates-to-fuckbuddies thing is going.
note :: i have something big in the works i proooommmyyy i jus need 2 find the time 2 write âčïžâčïž soon u shall have ur fix my babies i promise
#choso#choso kamo jjk#choso kamo smut#choso drabbles#kamo choso#choso jjk#choso smut#choso x reader#choso x you#choso headcanons#choso jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk smut#jjk drabbles#jjk x reader smut#jjk drabble#jjk x reader#âŒïž.mdni.
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Looks like itâs Banana Story Time.
2023 Christmas Ghost Fiasco
Context: my three nieces are home alone because itâs Christmas break, my younger sister and brother-in-law are at work. They live ten miles outside town on their own little homestead. My older sister is in town for the holiday, my first time seeing her since early summer of 2023.
Under the read more, cause itâs a long one.
My oldest niece texts us to get McDonaldâs for lunch. I tell my older sister Iâll be at my parentsâ house in ten minutes to pick her up, and weâll take them lunch together.
I get to my parentsâ house. Iâm listening to Ghost. I text my sister that Iâm outside cause it was cold and I didnât want to get out of the car. Ten minutes go by, and Iâm irritated cause I hate waiting. I end up getting out of my car and go inside. My sister is on the couch going through her emails. She laughs it off cause she didnât hear her phone go off right behind her. So Iâm like, okay, little thing, no big deal, calm down, Banana. We get to McDonalds. I ask my sister what she wants and she says a âplain McDoubleâ. So I order her a plain McDouble. As weâre going around to the window, she says she meant everything that normally comes on it (mustard, ketchup, pickles, and onions). So a regular/standard McDouble. I HATE changing orders at the window, so I am irritated for having to inconvenience the staff because I know theyâre already working hard to begin with. But they accommodate and itâs fine. As weâre leaving, my sister says she forgot her chapstick, and can we go back to the parentsâ house to pick it up. Banana rages inside, but says fine. We get to my parentâs and she has BANANA go in and grab it, because sheâs holding the drinks. Irritated cause now Iâm out in the cold again just for some cursed chapstick. I have to ransack the couch for it, but find it anyway.
We finally get to heading out to deliver lunch to my nieces. As weâre driving, âMary on a Crossâ comes on and my sister is like âoh, I know this song. I like this kind of music over that other stuffâ (I had been listening to Lorna Shore the other day; heavier metal, for those unfamiliar), so Iâm excited because someone in my family is familiar with Ghost. So I ask her âyou wanna hear my favorite song??â and sheâs like âsure!â
I happily almost veer off the highway to put âCiriceâ on. As itâs a ten minute drive, we hear the whole song. We finish just as Iâm turning down the dirt road to my little sisterâs. She goes âthat was nice, I liked that. Whatâs it about?â because she likes hearing interpretations on things; she just graduated with her Masterâs in music. I tell her there are a lot of different ways I personally interpret the song, depending on the day, my mood, and who/what Iâm thinking about. But one of my favorite ways to describe it, though, is that it is essentially (in my opinion) a love song to us from Satan.
Record scratch.
âLove song from WHO?????â
It was at this moment, Banana remembered this particular sister was devoutly Christian, having spent the entirety of her career teaching music in Lutheran schools, and had just moved to Indiana to work as a director of music for a church.
âOhâŠâŠâŠ rightâŠ.. um, theyâre a Satanic rock band out of SwedenâŠ.â
The sheer level of pearl-clutching. The height of offense.
I couldnât tell if she was more offended that I was literally playing her âthe devilâs musicâ, or that she had admitted to liking it before knowing more about the band.
Needless to say, she refused to let me pick the music after that.
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I am really tired of a situation rn.
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet!#anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine#can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 !#why am i getting your insurance company calling me today !#also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp#and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene#so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth#literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic#i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck!#im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like#bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved#cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered#idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy#got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam#and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified#there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them#and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious#its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it
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as of ten minutes ago we are officially Joblessâąïž. my sign to retire early and devote the remainder of my existence to writing toxic old man yaoi
#pennforyourthoughts#personal#someone rb this with silly tags i feel it deserves some levity#warning: novel-length tags lmfao#THEY TOLD ME TODAY MY LAST DAY IS FRIDAY? that's only two whole workdays for me HELLO??#knew it was coming bc they let my friend go two weeks ago and he had more seniority than me but jfc#at least let me ride out the contract till november. WHY. i JUST went back to uni i need money goddamn it#full disclosure tho i haven't been able to stop laughing bc so much of the surrounding circumstances are insanely funny to me#1) i was LITERALLY at a job fair yesterday and I almost considered not going bc I was so damn tired#surprisingly made some really great connections so ty universe now i have people to poke in the coming months#2) i switched from part time to ft course load at the last second and have been regretting it ever since but if im to be unemployed then#MAYBE now I can actually handle the uni workload :D#3) when my boss called me she asked how ive been and i told her i was sooo sick last week and got into a car accident#that same day omw back from uni (universal karma for skipping class for my health ig)#THE WAY SHE PAUSED ON CALL IS SO FUNNY IN RETROSPECT. was prolly thinking fuck. now i have to add to this#she literally went âomg im so sorry...anyways i have bad newsâ#im not even lying when i say i was GIGGLING through that whole call she was so concerned#love her bc she genuinely tried to fight for me and is the reason i wasn't let go two weeks ago but man. the timing is impeccable#also don't think i get any unemployment benefits bc i was temp contract and my situation as a whole is a bit complicated so YAY :DDD#the way i ran to my bestie to spill the tea & we're over here like đ€ fired buddies đ€ time to speed run job interviews while juggling uni
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i just rewatched the rapture ohhhhh my god. such a good episode the jimmy stuff is actually fucking horrifying somehow even worse remembering claire grows up to be a hunter. then dean and bobby at the end locking sam in the panic room oh i hope they suffer. forever. he shouldve never spoken to their asses again
#im watching with my mom and she is having none of it. she was like BUT SAM SAVED THE DAY??? MORE PEOPLE WOULDVE DIED OTHERWISE#and as soon as sam and dean started talking in the car she was like Why is dean always so mean to him???#so true girl⊠you would do numbers on here#literally what good did it even serve. he gets OUT. they dont know heâs addicted they dont know anything itâs literally just because dean#sees sam drink blood and he freaks out and somehow thinks he has the right to fucking trick him and lock him up god im so madâŠ.#can u imagine. i just dont think their relationship ever got over that. imagine knowing someone would do that to you#dean in s2 is all Omg i canât kill sam :((( but he still accepts the idea that itâs his choice whether to do so. that all decisions about#sam are deanâs to make. dean can kill him if he wants. dean gets to lock him up if he misbehaves. it is harrowing!!!#the panic room is literally a punishment like there is NO reason why detoxing needed to be that hard#dean couldâve been with him talking to him it couldâve been something they approached together there are so many ways#he couldâve gone about it which still wouldâve been fucked but wouldâve been so much less worse#i literally cannot comprehend how you watch this show and come away thinking sam and dean are on equal footing#they hardly are from the start and they certainly arent after season 4.#after that stunt sam could kill dean and iâd support him#spn#oliver talks#sam winchester#sam & dean#spn s4
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the fire alarm went off a lot when I was in high school, for a multitude of reasons (someone pulled it, someone decided to smoke weed in the bathroom, someone tried to microwave a burrito) that were never actually a fire. but, because of protocol, we'd have to stay outside in the cold pnw rain for anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour as the fire department trudged over to figure out what the fuck happened this time. this resulted in a school full of teenagers who reacted to a fire alarm like it was an announcement for a suprise assembly. instead of dropping everything and heading for the exits, we'd jump at the loud noise because ew loud noise, groan because fuck not again, and proceed to pack our shit because there was no way we'd be standing out in the cold for forty minutes without our coats and phones.
cue me now, three thousand miles across the country, studying in the library of a well-respected university when the fire alarm goes off. my roommate and I nearly both jump out of our seats, grabbing each other's hand out of sheer reflex, and after a blurred prayer, I realize what's going on. all around us, people are getting up and talking over the alarm as they worry about what's going on, making their way to the nearest exit. my roommate gets out of her chair, looking worried. me?
I look up. I take a long sniff, like I'm impersonating the wolverine. and then I finish my goddamn email.
some of my roommate's friends come over to us, hurriedly explaining that it's just a drill, we don't need to worry. my roommate visibly relaxes. I respond "oh, thank fuck" and close my computer, packing my stuff up. these girls from east asia look at me with shocked and slightly unnerved expressions as I put on my blazer. they've all left their stuff behind. my roommate's also leaving her coat and bag. I shrug, and sling my backpack over my shoulder. If I don't smell smoke, I'm finishing my goddamn email.
#the casual attitude about danger that comes from being an american high school student#the guy who tried to microwave a burrito was my pre-calc teacher#his classroom smelled like burnt plastic for several days#the teachers were just as sick of this as we were lol#no one ever gave us shit for taking our stuff#one time there was a bear#also when you factor in the notion that a school shooter could pull the fire alarm to get us all in one place#your response to a fire alarm significantly decreases in accordance with what the administration wants you to do#that was a legitimate worry that plagued us#especially when we we'd be out on the field for an increasingly long amount of time#we became aware of the fact that we were like sitting ducks#literally fenced in and just waiting out in the open#coupled in with the amount of times we'd had to go into lockdown? like broooo one time they brought bomb sniffer dogs#we were peeking through the blinds like omg sheppies!!!#there was no bomb ofc#one time we were out on the field for so long we started coordinating rides home#the last time the alarm got pulled before i graduated we just walked over to the parking lot and hung out in our friends' cars#public school#american school system#drabble#short story#storytime#fire alarm
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sat watching horror films drinking coffee from my ghost mug. this heatwave has nothing against my sheer commitment to a bit
#the bit being AUTUMN because apparently that's a JOKE. do you know how embarrassing it is trying to set up a halloween vibe#with a fucking fan blasting in my face. this is not how it's supposed to be#also to my fellow countrymen anyone else look outside and it was just. sandy#like what was that about#it's gone now it literally lasted 2 minutes im convinced i made it up#but also our car was COVERED in dust this morning and we were super confused lol#i think the weather said smthn about saharan sands coming over and making the sunsets prettier?#but they said NISH about fucking DUST CLOUDS#hella halloween#hella goes home#my tags are getting as bad as my spotify. girl what if there was a situation
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Update 3: drove the asshole home bc I was so sure he was fr gonna die if he drove himself lmao. Poor dude looked so miserable, like bro was either holding back while we were working or he got worse the second he was able to relax, bc there wasn't a single moment of silence the whole drive back, dude was just curled up in the passengerâs seat shivering and being so fucking symptomatic. Like he was doing that thing where you basically cough all of the air out of your lungs then doing that rattly little inhale and then repeating, like it was Not Good đŹ 0/10, hated being there to experience that in person, I was horrified, I want all of that to stay in audio recordings where it can't hurt me lmao. And he wasnât sneezing a ton, but when he did, he stifled them until I told him to quit it bc the last thing he needs is a fucking ear infection on top of whatever the hell is already wrong with him, and even when he stopped, he was so congested that they sounded kinda stifled anyway đ like it's all objectively hot and I would've loved it had I just read it and not experienced it first hand, but unfortunately I'm a massive germaphobe and had to sit three feet away from this guy all damn day. So I bleached the hell out of my car and scrubbed myself down in the shower three times and I still don't feel like anything is clean enough, but I'm tired so it's gonna have to do for now lmao
#this is kinda snz kink ain't it?#whatever idc i feel so gross and I'm tired lmao#i might shower again before i go to bed idk lmao#OH ALSO important to note#he was stifling with his fingers so he was getting that shit all over his hands i was like IN MY CAR????? fucking horrific#again it's objectively hot but not when it's in front of me đ#i hope y'all are enjoyjng this at least bc I'm not lmao i was trying not to pass away the whole day#like i feel so bad bc i consider my partner a friend so obviously i care about him and wanna help#but at the same time i literally can't train my disgust reaction out of me#I'm fucking weird when it comes to who I'm more okay with being around when they might be sick#like if he wasn't my usual partner or if he was just some random coworker i wouldn't have given him a ride#like i did it scared but i still did it lmao#anyway#i told him to text me tomorrow so i know he's not dead and to call if he needs anything#so we'll see what comes of that#and i will be passing away if he gets me sick so stay tuned for that#knock on wood i haven't been sick since i was 13 and I'm almost 22 now#and last time i was sick i had strep and bronchitis at the same time so that wasn't good#but other than that it's just been allergy flare ups#so other than the vaccine reactions i genuinely don't remember what it's like to actually be sick#so let's hope i just manage to avoid it đ
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was â again â sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#âfollow me to my shop I can do the tires for youâ and I was like okay! đ but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN â I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like âYOU OWE ME $200!!!!â#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number đ#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like âokay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the worldâ#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like âit's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 minâ#and I'm like okay. OKAY. đđȘ I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay â I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says âI'm 20-25 min awayâ at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like âokay let me check on himâ#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says âokay he says 15 minutesâ I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like âoh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.â#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like âyou know what we're just going to let this one slideâ#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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when they cancel plans to help you finish some games youâve been stuck on for months đ
#im excited honestly#I need to make room for zombies so I have a tonne of games to get through by october#i finished still wakes the deep last night and it was fucking great#a new face#Iâm actually gonna buy it on ps5 I think#itâs literally outlast but make it lovecraftian#and easier cuz it was mad easy đ#but I finished that#so gears and halo are next to finish#weâre doing halo first cuz I canât bring myself to watch dom die yet#like seriously if halo reach fucked me up I canât imagine how Iâm getting react when donâs time comes#Iâve already seen it in lore videos#but playing it is so so different#and then I fucked myselfnon infinite and saved over my solo campaign with my co op campaign so thatâs really annoying#I literally canât play with now without co op#UNLESS#I have an idea but I donât know if itâll work#Iâm gonna try and make a second save file of it so I can have my file back đ#and THEN if i have time i only have like 3x races left in forza and im golden#but I also really wanted to unlock all the cars#realistically I should delete all my resi games since I have them on other consoles#but Iâm stubborn đ#but also genshin coming to xbox in november#im so fucking stoked#I need to just delete something off my ps5 so I can update it#I watched gamescom onl so now a fire is lit under my bum to finish everything for when new games come out#I swear i donât have a problem
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#vent post#tw vent#my mom: itâs okay youâre homeless u can come here and have a gentle landing and we can work together to get u and ur fiancĂ© back on ur feet#me: okay great now I can work off my huge overdue queue that I was having panic attacks about daily-#mom: actually fuck u ur a disgrace I need you to clean my whole house every single day and Iâm going to knock on ur door every 20 minutes#and disturb ur focus (ik u have adhd itâs stupid just get over it) also ur whole family knows how much of a failure u are and are going to#scream at you on the phone about how youâre not doing anything despite the fact youâve helped out every time Iâve asked and THEN SOME to#the point of eye exhaustion and shivers and mental breakdowns and then Iâm going to forget it ever happened and make you do MORE chores and#yell at u if you say u need to focus again#me: âŠâŠ.. so this is the gentle landing huh?#Iâm so fucking exhausted#they keep saying my art doesnât make money and isnât a career LITERALLY IT IS HOW DO U THINK I PAID FOR FOOD AND RENT FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS#they keep calling it my âlittle art thingâ and insisting I get a real job WHEN I HAVE ACTUAL PAID COMMISSIONS I HAVE TO WORK ON#I canât just ignore these and fuck off to answer phones or stock shelves at your friends friends aunts car dealers place fuck OFFFFFF#like being homeless with 4 cats and 6 boxes of belongings isnât hard enough I have to be fucking berated by people who havenât tried talking#to me IN MY LIFE EVERRRRRR#fuck off
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So do you ever just
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#its one in the morning dammit i should be asleep#but i just#i wanna sit in a pillow nest with them and laugh till we're wheezing at the dumbest shitposts and videos#i wanna lay on top of him like a cat#i wanna hold their face in my hands and get so overwhelmed with affection i just pull him in a bury my face in his neck#i wanna play card games with em#i wanna be stuck in a blackout with him and play boardgames by the light of our shitty dollarstore lanterns#i wanna lay on the roof of my dads car with em even though we *know* itll get dented#but we dont care cuz just watching the stars and talking about anything and everything is more important in that moment#i wanna swing on a swingset with em and find out how high either of us can go till we almost keel over laughing#i wanna play in the rain with him till our hair is soaked and we'll probably get a cold after if we dont come inside#but we still stay out there as long as possible till the clouds start to disperse and a barely noticeable rainbow comes into view#i wanna be stuck in the back seat of a car on a roadtrip with em and share music with eachother#i wanna be with him in the most literal sense of the term#i#ah#Malware my beloved#or whatever#yeah#thats who this is about#midnight ramblings
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