#i was just looking at photos from last week
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Children Once Again : ̗̀➛ Lando Norris
summary: when you’re invited to the f1 as an ambassador the last face you expect to see is that of your childhood best friend
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liked by mclaren, landonorris and 792,057 others
ynusername: such an honour to be in monza to watch the grand prix, thank you so much to mclaren for the awesome hospitality 🧡
68,472 comments
username1: no way you finally for to go to a race!
mclaren: it was an honour to welcome you and host you at your very first f1 race 🧡
username2: hope you had the best time ever yn ❤️
kendalljenner: told you that you’d absolutely love it 😂
ynusername: @/kendalljenner I should’ve listened to you!
username3: ngl she seemed to be really close with lando when they were around the paddock together!
oscarpiastri: thank you for being such an awesome guest to have with us this weekend!
username4: papaya really suits you btw yn 😉
username5: and you got to go to monza too, that’s one of the best races on the circuit!!!
landonorris: can’t believe we finally got to see each other again, let’s not leave it so long next time 😂
ynusername: @/landonorris you’re still just as annoying as ever 😂
username6: wait wtf is going on here…did they already know each other??
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liked by oscarpiastri, kendalljenner and 837,018 others
ynusername: never in a million years did I think I’d get reunited with this guy, nearly 14 years later and we’re back together again 🥹
71,950 comments
username7: wait so they were friends at school and reconnected? omg that’s adorable
username8: see the f1 really does change lives 😂
georgerussell63: how you managed to put up with him growing up is crazy to me!
ynusername: @/georgerussell63 it was hard work at times 😂
username9: I can just imagine them causing so much trouble when they were younger!!
landonorris: 14 years to make up for but the rest of our lives to be back together causing mischief again!!
username10: look at how happy lando looks to be back with her again
mclaren: we’re so pleased we could unknowingly bring the two of you back together again 🧡
ynusername: @/mclaren I owe you guys so much for inviting me in the first place
username11: this is just the sweetest story ever 😭
oscarpiastri: at least I don’t have to listen to you guys reminiscing anymore 🙄
username12: so happy they got to reunite together 🥺
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liked by danielricciardo, ynusername and 2,038,173 others
landonorris: a dream weekend with my childhood best friend, still feeling just like big kids and like we’ve never not been each other’s lives 🥹
73,067 comments
username13: and you’re sure she’s just a friend are you???
alex_albon: these photos suggest you’ve had more than just a dream weekend to me
username14: you can just tell how fond of her lando still is 😭
danielricciardo: yeah, sure “just” friends 😉
username15: who is buying a friend flowers that are that nice!?
ynusername: you’re not gonna be able to get rid of me so easily this time around!
landonorris: @/ynusername good because I don’t want you to go anywhere anyway 🥺
username16: I don’t want these two to go their separate ways again 💔
maxverstappen1: you’ve known me since we were kids and yet you don’t hug me like that 🤨
landonorris: @/maxverstappen1 stop reading so much into things 🙄
username17: you’re not kidding anyone norris 😂
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liked by oscarpiastri, georgerussell63 and 782,607 others
ynusername: the first photo was lando when I surprised him at the race, now compare that to the last one after spending four hours with me 😂🧡
73,058 comments
username18: they couldn’t even stay away from each other for more than a week!!
maxverstappen1: I can so see why you two were the best of friends after meeting you 😂
username19: just look at how excited he is to see her 🥺
danielricciardo: it was a joy to meet you here and hear so many childhood stories of lando’s!!
username20: ofc cause only a friend would do something like this right??
landonorris: stop lying to people, I really was happy to have you here for the whole time 😂
ynusername: @/landonorris that’s why you banished me to the paddock for most of the afternoon 👀
username21: it breaks my heart knowing they spent so long apart when they seem to get on so well…
carlossainz55: it was fun embarrassing lando with you for the whole weekend!!!!
ynusername: @/carlossainz55 I had no idea he was still as stupid as he was back in school 🤦🏻♀️
username22: he loves spending time with you really yn 😂
oscarpiastri: I’m sure I saw him shed a tear when you told him you had to go
landonorris: @/oscarpiastri definitely tears of joy!!
username23: we really missed out on this friendship for so many years!
alex_albon: still sticking with the friendship storyline I see…
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ynusername just posted two stories
replies
alex_albon: if you went out with one you’d be a true passenger princess!
ynusername: when do you plan on letting this go??
username24: can you two just hurry up and date already?
georgerussell63: look at how handsome he is yn, you can’t deny it 😂
username25: put us out of our misery please and just announce it!
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danielricciardo: why are you two kids holding hands!?
username26: I still refuse to accept that you two are just friends!
username27: are you playing us all by pretending to just be friends?
charles_leclerc: when will you two just wake up and see it??
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liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri and 2,492,613 others
landonorris: don’t tell her but I secretly loved her back in school all those years ago, and I guess it’s fair to say I still love her just as much now ❤️
203,362 comments
username28: finally they’ve given us what we wanted for so long 👏🏻
alex_albon: can’t believe you tried to convince me that you two weren’t dating 🙄
oscarpiastri: couldn’t be happier for the two of you 🥰
username29: these two are the perfect reason as to why you should believe in destiny 😭
danielricciardo: this might just be the worst kept secret in the world!!
carlossainz55: i feel like I’ve watched a movie watching your romance unfold 🥺
username30: the fact he’s always been in love with her melts me 🫠
charles_leclerc: well aren’t you guys just the cutest 😭
username31: please don’t ever lose contact with each other again!
georgerussell63: you guys are perfect for each other, so pleased you managed to find one another again
username32: all these years and yet none of us knew that he actually only ever had eyes for her…
mclaren: congratulations to you both, secretly we’re taking all the credit for this 🧡
landonorris: @/mclaren you guys can absolutely take credit, thank you for inviting yn all those weeks ago!
username33: this is the kinda romance that everyone dreams of, only this time it actually came true 🧡
ynusername: it was only ever you 💞
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#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#lando norris#lando norris imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula one#formula 1 x you#f1 reaction#formula one imagine#lando norris social media#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris fluff#lando norris au#lando norris x reader#formula x reader#formula 1 social media#formula one x reader#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 fluff#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 x you
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In the post mentioning flashing horny mantis there was meet and greet. I have a question how other monsters would behave in meet and greet (assuming that they will show up)
(Sorry for my English ;^;)
Also I love your work
POV: Your monster followers meeting you
content: gender neutral reader, mentions of stalking
LizardKing5 vehemently denies his attendance in the chatroom. "What, you think you're some celebrity?" he types, claiming he has better things to do than follow around some pathetic human.
Coincidentally, he's the first monster to greet you, standing tall at the very front of the queue.
"Whatever," he'll mumble, pulling out his merch and shaking your hand with feigned indifference. "I just happened to be in the area."
"What were you even doing before this," you ask, raising your eyebrows at the enormous backpack looming behind him.
Is that camping gear?
His clawed, scaly hand quickly ruffles your hair. Mind your damn business.
SharkMan is rather polite and reserved in his mannerisms. Don't misunderstand, he truly is excited to see you again, but he'd rather not add more to your plate. Besides, if we count the milestone event, he's already gotten way more than a handshake from you.
"Are you staying hydrated?" he asks, placing a bag of goodies on your table. "Here's something to eat during your break."
You smile and thank him for the thoughtful gesture. Hard to believe the same monster left you nearly crippled after a night together. You're sitting on the same cushion you needed for weeks after the affair.
DefNotAStalker will show up just to mess with you. He's watched you prepare for the event, he carefully observed you getting dressed; hell, he even ironed your outfit the night before! You swear the shirt had wrinkles last time you checked.
He'll shake your hand with an innocent grin and ask for an autograph. He's picked the perfect photo for it: to the unaware, it looks like a blurry print screen taken during one of your livestreams. In reality, he cheekily snapped it while hanging right above you, off-screen. You sign it with a chuckle.
"Thank you for coming, it was such a tiring week for me," you say, lowering yourself back in your seat.
"I can imagine. I hope the apartment complex will fix it soon."
You nod, distracted, and the monstrous creature slithers away.
Wait, did you ever even mention this to your followers?
Y/NSimp is elated to meet you. He's been carefully planning this for months, constantly daydreaming about the fateful encounter. His bag is filled to the brim with the required equipment: a fat stack of love letters, a marriage certificate, Photoshopped photos of the two of you together, an engagement ring, and a list of potential names for your future children.
He can already see it: he'll hand you the bag and the flowers, and you'll gasp, surprised by his romantic gesture. You never thought someone would care this much. Without hesitation, you jump into his arms, and promptly cancel the rest of the event. You'll be too busy with your husband-to-be.
Unfortunately, he has omitted one vital detail in his elaborate schemes: the correct address of the meet and greet. By the time he reaches the actual location, the doors are closed and the venue empty.
[Monster Streaming Series] | [Meet and Greet Part 1]
#monster streaming#monster followers#monster x reader#monster x human#monster fucker#terato#teratophillia
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I am a trained passport agent and look at applications every day so if anyone on here has questions about how to get a passport feel free to DM me!
One quick correction about OP’s post. The passport card ONLY allows you to cross by land over the border to either Canada or Mexico. But both book and card are UNDENIABLE PROOF you are a US citizen.
YOU NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR AN APPLICATION. The only time you pay is when you’re SUBMITTING everything. If a website asks you to pay ahead of time online, that will be a scam.
also FedEx and Triple A will push you to use Rush My Passport. They claim they can get you your passport back to you quickly if you pay a stupid amount of extra money. They cannot get your passport back to you any faster. These are the current (11/10/2024) times:
4-6 weeks - Routine ($100/book, $15/card for 15years old and under, $130/book, $30/card for 16 years old and up
2-3 weeks - expedited (same fees above plus 60 per application)
Brand New or Renewal
If this is your first time applying for a passport you’ll need to find a passport acceptance facility (post office, library, town hall, etc. check on travel.state.gov) and have an additional fee of $35 to pay to them.
If you’ve had a passport before and it’s about to expire or has been expired for less than five years then you need to renew. You do not need to go to a passport acceptance facility, just mail in a renewal form.
Form DS-11 is for first time passports OR new passports if your old passport expired MORE than five years ago. OR if your last passport was a five year passport from when you were underage, and you are now 16 or older, this is the application you need.
Form DS-82 is for renewals if your ADULT 10 YEAR passport is either about to expire or has been expired for LESS than five years
What you’ll need
Application (ds-11 or ds-82) filled out by hand in black ink or printed filled in with form filler online. Don’t make mistakes like cross outs or white outs they won’t accept it if it is.
Proof of citizenship (birth certificate, birth abroad certificate, naturalization papers or old passport)
Proof of ID - only if you’re applying with DS-11 (driver’s license, learners permit, military ID, passport, state ID)
Passport photos - CVS, Walgreens, Triple A, Staples, Walmart etc all take them
Checks or Money orders. Money orders can often be purchase at grocery stores and banks. You’ll need at least one to pay the US Department of State or card/book/and expedite. You only have to pay a second fee of $35 to the acceptance facility if you’re applying for the first time or for a brand new one. They may accept cash but check with them first.
I really hope this helps clear things up! If anyone has questions please feel free to DM me!!
Now is a good time to check if you need to renew your passport or get one for the first time.
Not even as an alarmist thing, but because you want to do it NOW before any requirements change and your get distracted by the world. It's just a good thing to have.
The full passport book is pricey ($130), but the card ($30) has all the same benefits as identification and can be used at land borders.
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texting Stan and Ford headcanons
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Stan Pines
✧ Stan is the kinda guy who thinks emojis are a scam, but somehow, he figured out how to use the "thumbs up" and "money bag" emoji. so, expect a lot of those in your chats.
✧ his text tone is rough, a little misspelled, typed like he's yelling even when he isn’t. Half of his texts are in all caps, and he absolutely does not care about grammar. but he gets the point across, always.
✧ you’re getting messages at 3 am about some ‘brilliant’ scheme to make a quick buck. he’ll send, “LISTEN, doll, what if we made... GIANT… glitter-filled eggs for easter? Tourists'll go NUTS." you reply, half-asleep, with “Stan, ily but go to bed." and all you get back is a “🤬 YOU GOTTA THINK BIGGER!”
✧ Stan sends those weird chain messages he swears are from some “hotshot businessman” that’ll make you rich in a week. and when you don’t respond immediately, you get a: “Fine, Miss Doubtful, see you when I’m rolling in gold.”
✧ there are whole days where he just floods your phone with random, blurry photos of some new Mystery Shack "artifact" he found. It’s usually junk he picked up at a garage sale, like a “haunted” ashtray or some knock-off painting that’s “probably ancient.”
✧ If he’s feeling sappy (and tipsy): you might get a rare “thinking bout you, sweet thing” at 2 am. but if you try to call him on it the next day, he’ll just be like “Didn’t say that. You’re makin’ stuff up.”
✧ when he’s really riled up about something, though? then his messages are just. . . a stream of caps-lock curses, mixed with misspelled attempts to describe whatever nonsense he just got himself into. you just sit back and let him rant; he’ll cool off eventually.
✧ and the voice messages are something else. they sound like he’s talking through a fan half the time. one minute, he’s rambling about how tourists are “the dumbest suckers on the planet” and the next, he’s ranting about how “bigfoot definitely broke into the shack last night!"
types of messages Stan texts:
"So… whatcha wearin’? 😏"
“Hey doll, I just found a penny on the ground! Maybe today’s my lucky day… hint hint ;)"
"I’d say somethin’ romantic, but I think my brain just shorted out. You’re a little too cute for a guy like me."
"Just tried that new café downtown. Ordered coffee… tastes like they filtered it through someone’s laundry. You’d hate it. Wanna come mock it with me?"
"Not gonna lie, I miss that face of yours. So what’re we doin’ about it, huh?"
“Again missin’ that cute little smile of yours… maybe you could send me a pic to remind me?”
"Wanna help me scam the tourists today? I’ll split the loot with ya… maybe ;)”
"You wouldn’t believe what I caught Ford muttering in his sleep. Man’s like a walking encyclopedia, even when he’s unconscious."
“Got any plans later? Thought maybe we could… y’know… not have plans together."
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Ford Pines
✧ hehehehe he’s like an old-school emailer who’s just now getting the hang of messaging apps. texts in complete sentences, full punctuation, like he’s drafting a dissertation.
✧ He sends you whole paragraphs at random hours, talking about some discovery he’s made, like he’s reporting directly to NASA. you’re like, “Ford, it's just a weird-looking squirrel." and he's already typing another essay about its "possible interdimensional origins."
✧ once in a while, he’ll send you a message that says, “Are you awake?” at, like 3 am followed by a string of thoughtful yet completely bonkers hypotheses. you find it cute, though, his mind never stops, not even for a second.
✧ If he’s feeling bold, you might even get a “hypothetical” confession out of him: “Hypothetically, if one were to develop... strong emotional attachment to a certain person... how would one proceed?" You tease him about it the next day, and he gets flustered, “It was purely scientific curiosity."
✧ Ford isn’t big on emojis, but he likes the brain and alien ones, using them poetically. he’ll sign off texts with a single brain emoji, like it’s his version of a little goodbye wave.
✧ on really rare occasions, he’ll send a voice message. they’re always way too long, and it’s usually him whispering so he doesn’t wake Stan up. he goes on about cosmic rays or “gravity anomalies,” his voice dropping lower when he gets excited. you live for those moments
✧ and if he ever texts you a “good night,” you just know he’s been up thinking about it for hours, trying to figure out if it’s “appropriate.”
types of messages Ford texts:
“It’s been approximately 3 hours, 12 minutes, and 23 seconds since our last conversation… not that I’m counting or anything. Just… miss you."
sends a meme about science nerds “Us. But mostly me.”
“My hands ache from writing… though perhaps if it were writing about you, I wouldn’t mind.”
“Do you think about me too, or am I the only one utterly ruined by this… whatever this is?”
“I’ve been thinking about that book you lent me... 🤔 It’s honestly so much more interesting than I expected, thank you for recommending it."
"I don’t know how to work this... But I managed to send a meme! It’s not the worst thing I’ve done, I suppose?
“I did it. I fixed the telescope. Finally. Now we can actually look at the stars like we’ve talked about. :)"
"I hope you’re feeling okay today. I noticed you seemed a little stressed the other day. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. :) It’s important."
"If I could rearrange the periodic table, I’d put U and I together. :( Sorry, nerdy joke... :’D)”
ps - I CANT THEYRE SO CUTE BOTH I WANT TO SMASH THEM AGAINST THE WALL
lmao if someone wants, i can write some spicy types of chatting with them :)))
#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x you#x reader#gravity falls#gravity falls smut#ford pines x reader#ford pines smut#stan pines smut#stan pines x reader#stan pines x oc#stan pines x you#ford pines x you#stanford pines x you#stanford pines x reader#gravity falls headcanons
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inspired by this post by @monstream theorizing that tommy will pop back up in a couple months and reveal he dipped out like his ass was on fire because he got a cancer diagnosis. (be advised: this is not about real cancer. this is tv cancer.) 1300 words.
a chance encounter
Bobby still has a blood donation appointment at First Presbyterian every two months, which he attends religiously, barring exemptions like the six months he had to skip after the heart attack. Years ago, when it started, Chimney arranged a rotation for rides, and as their team went through staffing changes, it settled to a more informal thing, whichever of them would be available verbally stepping up each time. Athena would have been the logical choice with one of the 118 as backup, but this is theirs. Buck likes it because usually he and Bobby stop for a meal and catch up, just the two of them.
On their way to the elevators, they hear applause in the next wing over, and Bobby gives Buck a little smile before they join the gathering at the back of the small crowd. He loves a bell ceremony.
A teen girl in a green hoodie that reaches her knees is blushing and stumbling over her words, flustered by the attention. "Anyway," she says, "I'm not gonna be sick at prom and I'm so effing excited." She rings the bell and pumps a fist in the air before hugging one of the nurses.
"All right," says a blonde woman holding a clipboard. "We have three more patients who completed treatment! I know, right? It's been a good week."
Buck looks down at the coffee he grabbed from the on-site cafe while Bobby was getting drained, which tastes different somehow but he can't put his finger on it. Soy milk, maybe? A sharp nudge forces him to look up into Bobby's suddenly tense expression.
"Well. So... yeah. These last few months have sucked."
Buck swings his head around and Bobby grabs the coffee out of his hand. There, acknowledging a round of polite laughter, is Tommy, dressed in a henley and flannel shirt, all in shades of blue. Buck always liked him in blue. He looks slimmer, more like the version of himself from Chim and Hen's old team photos. He's wearing a Raiders hat.
"I knew, as a firefighter who flew helicopters, that I probably didn't have the highest life expectancy. But this diagnosis still threw me for a loop."
Buck should not be here. He should not be here. But he can't convince his feet to move.
"I did some dumb things, isolated myself, assumed the worst. It was the staff here who kept--gently--smacking me upside the head, reminding me that there was still hope." Tommy ducks his head and when he looks up eyes are bright. "Thank God for them."
Buck feels like he is stuck in a column of rapidly curing cement. It started down at his feet and now his lungs won't inflate.
"Buck," Bobby hisses, tugging at his sleeve.
"Bug your city council rep to increase compensation for healthcare workers because there's no way they get paid enough to deal with my bullshit." A cluster of small children at the front of the group starts howling at the swear, and he grins, unrepentant. Buck might be drowning. "Thank you, everyone. Fuck cancer." He rings the bell and steps back quickly for the next patient, accepting good-natured pummeling from several members of the staff as everyone applauds.
The smile that settled on Tommy's face vanishes as their eyes meet. The column of cement also vanishes. Breathing hard, his pulse hammering in his ears, Buck follows Bobby down the hall to the elevators.
"Buck?"
It still sounds so wrong coming from him. Buck flinches and looks at the slowly progressing display of which floor the elevator is on. Stairs it is. "I'll meet you down there," he says to Bobby, and doesn't wait for a response.
Buck plows through the door to the stairwell, moving as quickly as possible.
"Wait! Please? I can follow for a little bit, but fourteen flights of stairs is beyond me at the moment."
Buck slows his progress down, stopping at the next landing.
"What-" Tommy takes the stairs slowly, one by one. "What are you doing here? How did you find out?"
Buck glances up. "I didn't. We just happened to be in the neighborhood. This place is our home away from home, you know?"
"Oh," Tommy says, then has the nerve to look concerned. "Is everyone okay?"
"I'm not fucking okay. Did you know you were sick?"
"When?" he temporizes. "I mean, they did tell me at one point."
"You know when," Buck says, seething, his vision growing redder when Tommy doesn't answer. "I asked you to move in with me." I was all in. You didn't have to do this alone.
Tommy finishes the last few steps and joins him on the landing. "You asked your gym rat firefighter boyfriend to move in with you. Not an unemployed puke machine with a thirty-nine percent chance of kicking it in the next five years."
"Oh my God." Buck laughs, wanting to scream at the wall. "So I'm not a newborn bisexual who couldn't possibly know what I want, I'm just a piece of shit who would drop a partner for getting sick. Or maybe I'm both."
"No, I-"
"If you say 'it wasn't you, it was me' I'm gonna start taking these steps three at a time."
"It was-" Up close, Tommy looks tired. There are lines in his face that weren't there before. "Significantly more about me and my trust issues than it was about you. Is that different enough for you to stick around?"
"You gave me trust issues, Tommy. Not just in you, or other people I might date, but in myself."
Tommy's expression is gutted. "I'm sorry. I was trying to avoid more pain in the future, for both of us."
Sparing a thought for Bobby, who hopefully settled in the lobby to wait, Buck sits on the landing, wedging himself against the wall to take up less space. "I loved you."
"I believe you." Tommy sat down next to him, almost touching because of the width of the staircase. "I shouldn't have dismissed your feelings. You're a grown man and all I can say in my defense is that I become the fucking unabomber when I get scared. Ask Howie and Hen about my years as a closet case working under a captain who got a medal for outstanding work in homophobia."
It would be so easy to pull Tommy into his arms. Just reach out.
"Buck?"
Buck swipes at his eyes with the heel of his hand. "Please don't call me that."
"I'm sorry. I honestly felt I gave up the right to set myself apart in that way." Tommy swallows. "Evan."
Buck blinks away a fresh round of tears. "Are you okay, really?"
Tommy gestures at himself. "As you can see, I'm not going out tomorrow and running a marathon, but next week I get to start training to go back to work." He shrugs a little, smiling. "So I'm pretty damn peachy."
"What about the thirty-nine percent?"
Tommy whistles while pointing down. "It's pretty much back to whatever my prognosis was for running into fires and flying around in a tin can."
"That's- That's great." Buck's phone rings.
"Hey, I don't mean to interrupt anything," Bobby says. "I just didn't want to leave without saying something. I'll get an Uber, okay?"
"No. No, we're good. I'll see you in five." Buck meets Tommy's steady gaze. "Next week, huh? Do you wanna go for a run at that park near my place? I promise to take it easy on you. Or, not easy, whichever you need."
Tommy visibly stops himself from declining. "Okay. Text me." He rises from the steps and starts for the exit door as Buck begins his way down. "Evan?"
Buck turns. "Yeah?"
"I loved you, too."
Breathing out, Buck rolls his shoulders back. "I figured. See you next week."
#911 abc#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#my writing#things by beanarie#not crossposting to ao3 yet bc i might have another chapter in me
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Safest with You (The Epilogue)
3.2K / Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader
Summary: You and Din welcome a new member to your family.
Warnings: All fluff - just the way we started this series! Established relationship, nicknames as usual (Pretty bird, baby).
A/N: A cute little glimpse into the lives of our happy couple around two years after the series finale. 112 Carlota Galgos is a real Galgo rescue in Spain! I won't go into the circumstances that make the rescue work they do so important, but many of you know that I have a greyhound, and the plight of the Galgo is well known in the sighthound community. These dogs deserve the world!! If you have an opportunity to check out organizations that aid Spanish Galgos or even help - I promise these gentle giants deserve it. Lisette is a real galgo I knew! She passed last year and this epilogue is dedicated to her (cute pics included at the end!)
I’m posting this on the one year anniversary of Chapter 1!! I can’t believe it’s been a whole year of writing these bbs 🥹 Thank you thank you everyone who has supported and followed along with this series - you are all as dear to me as Pretty Bird's garlic knots are to Mayfeld 🥹🥰 (I still plan on publishing that recipe!)
Dividers by @saradika-graphics as always! 🥰 / Series Masterlist
Just before your finger is about to press down the call button on the outside of the closed metal gate, you retract your hand and look questioningly at Din.
“How many am I allowed to get again?”
Din stares at you for a second to ascertain if you’re kidding and when he sees you’re not, a little panic sets in on his face, “One, pretty bird. Just one.”
“But…”
“We only made arrangements with the airline for one, baby.”
You pout a little, but know Din’s right, “Okay. Fine. One.”
Somewhat dejectedly you press the button, though the chorus of barks and yelps from the other side of the gate resulting from the chime of the bell perk you up immediately, and by the time the gate is buzzed open with a loud brrrrzzzt, you’re giddy with excitement again.
This is the last planned destination of the European trip you and Din have been on for the last three weeks, both of you looking forward to flying home in just a few days.
The vacation has been an absolute dream. You and Din have eaten your way through Amsterdam (Stroopwafels! Bitterballen!), then Paris (Steak frites! Macarons! Croissants! One, sometimes two baguettes a day!), followed by Rome (Gelato! Pasta until you exploded!), and then finally Barcelona (Paella! Bombas!) before ending up where you are now: Andalucia, Spain, outside the gates of the 112 Carlota Galgos dog rescue.
The happy and excited woofs from the still unseen pups remind you so much of Alfredo. Gosh, you miss your best guy so much – although, if the daily photos and videos you’ve been receiving are to be believed, he might be hard pressed to leave Paz’s when you get back. By now a minor celebrity in Din and Paz’s neighbourhood, you’re happy to see that Al’s been making the rounds at the local shops (and accepting generous samples everywhere he goes), enjoying fun road trips to nearby hiking trails, and most importantly, helping Paz cement his image as an attractive, eligible bachelor about town. You’re sure if you were to peek at Paz’s dating app profile, you’d see it updated with copious pictures of him fawning over your dog.
Originally, you had been hesitant to have Paz take Al to his place for three whole weeks, wondering if it was better if instead, Paz could come and dog-sit at your and Din’s place – but Al does seem to be adjusting to being away from home just fine. Though Alfredo is generally super easy going and adaptable, you nevertheless recognized that it had been quite a year of transition and multiple upheavals for your pup and worried about how he might cope with yet another change in scenery.
Nearly a year ago, you and Din moved in together and Al had been uprooted from the only home he’s ever known. Though it wasn’t without some understandable disinclination that you left your beautiful and much-loved apartment, both of you agreed it made perfect sense for you to move into Din’s place above Mando’s. Of course you loved your old place – you had poured so much of your heart and soul into making it your refuge and the perfect home for you and Al, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to regret leaving – Din is your home now, as you are his. The only safe haven you need is the one with him, and though you’re sure he would have moved without hesitation if you had asked, the idea of Din leaving a residence right above his place of work, in a building he already owned, was too silly to even entertain.
To try and make the adjustment as smooth as possible for his pretty bird, Din had given you free reign to redecorate, bring in your furniture, and make whatever changes you wanted in order to make his, now your, apartment feel more like home. The third floor of Mando’s would always hold his most cherished memories of his childhood and father – he didn’t need it to look a certain way or have it maintained as some kind of physical shrine in order for that to be true; Din was ready to make a home and new memories with you. It was sweet and you appreciated the gesture prodigiously, but aside from adding your own bookshelves and swapping out a couch, the only thing you had asked for was a bigger kitchen. Din had readily agreed and even suggested he build you an expanded closet and turn the second bedroom into a home office-dog den for you and Al. Din’s enthusiasm and eagerness for the project was enough to have you agreeing to his considerate suggestions.
What had followed was seven months of renovation chaos, living out of and tripping over boxes as a slew of tradespeople and workmen paraded in and out of what was supposed to be your new sanctuary.
You love Din with all your heart, and one of the things you love most and find endlessly attractive is just how good he is at the things he does: taking care of you and Al, supporting the community, running Mando’s – to say nothing of the skill and prowess he displays in his work in and out of the ring; just the sight of Din running drills with his boxers or deftly commanding the Mandos gets you weak in the knees.
But elaborate home improvements and remodelling? Unfortunately, not part of Din’s impressive skill set. Nor any of the Mandos for that matter. For two weeks, every Mando on payroll seemed to be over at your place “helping” with measurements and the demolition of the kitchen and the wall between the two bedrooms. Only after a burst pipe and the subsequent three weeks of living with drying fans running 24/7, did Din concede it was time to call in professionals. Then came a parade of contractors and their respective plumbers, cabinet guys, drywall, tile and marble contacts, electricians, etc. – who all seemed to owe some kind of “favour” to Boba. The good thing about that was they were committed to doing a good job; the bad thing was that no one was particularly dedicated to doing a fast job. For the next five months, you, Din and Al lived in a construction zone of various partially started and finished projects with different strangers coming in and out of your place at all hours of the day – it had stressed Al out endlessly.
A little over half a year after moving in with Din, you hit a breaking point and, with Din’s encouragement, packed a suitcase and took Al to stay at Bea’s until a firm completion deadline could be negotiated with the various contractors. Din had insisted on staying behind to lead the "negotiations" and "supervise" the follow through; lo and behold, everything had been completed to perfection and cleaned up thoroughly two weeks after. Upon seeing the beautiful finished space, you finally felt at home – though frustrated, you hadn’t ever been terribly mad about the whole situation, but it had been a very confusing time for your pup.
Din had felt awful – this wasn’t the symbolic big step and storybook start to your lives together that he had envisioned. You either, if you were being honest, but it genuinely mattered very little in the grand scheme of things; you reminded Din, as the two of you christened every surface of your brand new kitchen, that your lives together had really started a year before moving in together, when he had taken his own big step and shown up outside of your office, making you the promise to be open and honest about everything.
And he had. Din had forgiven himself and won you back, and these last two years have been the happiest of your lives, even with the renovations.
In that time a lot’s happened. Jimmy won another two division championships and moved up a weight class. Cass announced that her and Rikard were expecting. Rory’s bridal boutique expanded to a second even more successful location and to her chagrin, she was promoted to manager. The second book in Bea’s series came out to amazing reviews and the anticipation and hype for the third (due out later this year) was through the roof. Poe decided to pursue and then successfully obtained his pilot license. You went up in his Cessna just once – the views had been unforgettable, Lisa getting sick in your lap no lesser so. Katie guest starred on Law and Order – twice (two different characters). You met the Mods. And Al finally settled into his new home, overseeing his new kingdom from the plush and cozy dog den that his dad lovingly built for him.
And now you and Din are about to take another big step together.
Greeted enthusiastically by one of the women who runs the Spanish hunting dog haven with whom you’ve been conversing with over the past few months about adoption, you and Din take a tour of the facility before being led out back to meet the dogs.
Per Elenna’s guidance, you sit in a chair near the water bowls and let the galgos come to you on their own terms. Some, understandably, are shy and timid, wary of strangers – tentatively, they come and investigate you with their snoots, eventually accepting your gentle pats and scritches once they feel comfortable enough. Others have no such hesitation - tails wagging, curious and excited, they enthusiastically crowd you, nosing in for pets and try to sniff out the treats you have in your pocket. Your chest expands, heart nearly tripling in size to see these dogs get to be dogs again, as you rub their little faces and coo endless words of deserved praise at them for their bravery.
Maybe the plane will have room for another crate, you think, or two? You can’t stop giggling as your face is licked and poked with wet noses, or when those same noses goose your tummy and legs, competing for the attention of your busy hands – you’re in heaven, nearly overwhelmed by all this furry cuteness. Surely Din cannot possibly expect you to limit yourself to one! Knowing the marshmallow squish that resides beneath his hard and steely frame, you’re willing to bet that Din has already softened his stance on taking home multiple pups. You crane your neck to see over the dogs, looking around the property to see if you can locate your boyfriend.
To your surprise, you find him not being surrounded by enthusiastic, bounding galgos, but alone - crouching near the ground and gently scratching a smaller fawn coloured dog who’s laying on her side, her slender head lifted just slightly off the ground to lean into Din’s hand.
“That’s Lisette,” Elenna says when she notices you looking at Din and the fawn girl, “she’s just come to us after this last hunting season - we found her in the street with a broken leg. She’s all healed up now but is still quite skittish, especially around men. This is actually the first time I’ve ever seen her let a man touch her, never mind a stranger. Your husband must have a very calming touch.”
“Oh, he’s not my husb-” your voice trails off as you watch Lisette continue to happily receive Din’s attention. Walking over, you hear him speaking quietly to her in Spanish.
“What are you telling her, Din?”
Din looks up, eyes soft and shiny, “Just telling her what a good girl she is. That’s she so brave and sweet. And that she doesn’t have anything to be afraid of anymore. She’s safe now.”
There is no question as to which (one) dog you’ll be adopting today.
Lisette settles in quickly when you and Din get her back home, especially with Al immediately taking up his role as big brother. Lisette falls into the easy comfort of following his lead, regularly looking to Alfredo for guidance – he never leads her astray and the two of them become inseparable. With growing pride, you watch Lisette tentatively explore her new environment and slowly over the next few months, becomes more and more comfortable in her forever home: first your and Din’s apartment, then the gym, whose enthusiastic occupants always greet her like the princess she is, and eventually the entire neighbourhood where she’s never without her protective brother by her side. When she’s ready, you and Din take her and Al out on further away adventures: to your and Din’s favourite farmers’ market, Poe and Lisa’s (where you learn in their pool that Lisette can swim!) or to Boba and Fennec’s where she can run and play with Mochi and the other Daimyo Dogs. Your heart positively kvells as Lisette’s confidence grows and she becomes the happy pup she deserves to be, putting her less than ideal start to life behind her.
The only thing you wish you could change, though you would never push, is that Lisette won’t cuddle with you - she only ever cuddles with Din. You know she loves you, but she’s very much a daddy’s girl and he’s the only one with whom she feels safe enough to have in such close proximity while sleeping or relaxing. You don’t begrudge Lisette at all for feeling this way; Din is her protector, she trusts him to keep her safe - you understand the comfort of that feeling better than anyone.
And in truth, you love watching them together – seeing your sweet girl so at ease and your strong, formidable warrior melt into a puddle of goo when she burrows into the warmth of his lap. Din talks to Lisette in Spanish all the time, repeating what he told her back in Andalucia: she’s safe now, she doesn’t have to be scared anymore - this is her home.
Your home feels complete now – there’s nowhere you would rather be than cuddled up on the couch with Din, each respectively loving on the pups that have curled up against you: you, Al and Din, Lisette.
Then one day, you’re on the couch tapping away on your laptop when Lisette saunters up to you. You rub her little head and give her a little smooch on her snoot as she walks by, fully expecting her to wander away but she surprises you to no end when she hops up on the couch and curls up by your feet. Terribly delighted but not wanting to spook her, you pretend like it’s no big deal – your heart, however, is doing jumping jacks; looking up with a big smile you see Din nodding encouragingly at the both of you.
And then she does it again. And again. At first still staying arms length from you, she inches closer and closer, little by little. Though your chest is exploding and you want to shout with joy, you always remain calm and give Lisette copious amounts of quiet praise after she’s settled. To celebrate this progress, Din will eventually come over to shower Lisette with additional treats and Spanish words of adulation that she happily accepts. Sometimes you even catch him encouraging her before she comes over to you or see her looking back at him for reassurance before she climbs onto the bed or couch to sit with you. Always her protector, her safe space.
It's slow going, but worth it.
Today, you’re on the couch having just finished a book, funnily enough it’s the most recent in the fantasy series that Din had bought you and your friends on that first day you met nearly four years ago, when you see Lisette moseying on over to you. You swing your legs off the couch and pat the spot next to you, and to your delight, she hops up and starts to do her little nesting circles, prepping for her laydown spot. When she finally settles, she lays her little head in your lap and you think your heart might burst. You look up and see Din, handsome and relaxed, leaning against one of the bookshelves looking at the both of you with an adoring expression on his face. You beam back - yep, the two of you are his girls. The ones he takes care of. Looks after. Loves.
Lisette nuzzles her furry little face deeper into your thigh and you can’t help but giggle at the sensation. “Okay, okay,” you chuckle, as if you needed any invitation to pet and love on her. Dispensing gentle scritches all over her head and little ear rubs, you notice that your sweet girl has an extra collar on. Normally Lisette wears just a martingale and sometimes nothing at all when she’s at home, but today, she’s got a thin rope collar encircling her neck as well. Rubbing it between your fingers, you say to Din, “This is pretty! When did she get this house collar?”
“Got it for her a while ago, but thought I’d wait for the right moment to put it on. Do you like it?”
Lisette lifts her head and you take the opportunity to take a closer look at the pretty pink collar; admiring the delicate metalware and the luxurious feeling fibres of the rope, you run your fingers over the collar until you get to the small clasp in the front and feel something you don’t expect. Rotating the collar around Lisette’s slender neck so you can get a better look at the thin object, you gasp when it comes into view.
A diamond ring.
Din, with Al by his side, starts to walk towards you, the look in his eyes clear and so easy to read: Devotion. Adoration. Love.
“Pretty bird…” he starts. Din has an entire speech planned. He needs to thank you for coming into his life and showing him what true strength and power is. Grace, honesty, and compassion have been your gifts to him, and he’s a better man, a stronger man, for your kindness and generosity. He wants to promise you that your faith in him will never be misplace – that he will cherish you and your heart to the very last beat of his own and beyond. He loves you, admires you, trusts you, is in awe of you, and remains forever grateful for you. Grateful for every smile you throw his way, every laugh you pull from him and allow him to draw from you, thankful for all the ways you’ve woven yourself into his life and made it better. And above all, grateful for your acceptance and love for him and all that he is, was, and ever will be. He needs to ask you if you will allow him the honour of spending the remainder of his days showing you his gratitude and loving you the way you deserve.
Din’s heart is overflowing and he has so much he wishes to express; he’s not entirely sure he’s going to be able to make any sense. But Din’s not nervous - the radiant smile on your beautiful face as he approaches already telling him everything he needs to know.
Real life Lisette!! 🥰🥰
Very last tag for this series!! Thank you all forever for your support 🥹😘
@tuquoquebrute @furiousmushroom @cheekychaos28 @72scsuze @nerdieforpedro
@toobsessedsstuff @whirlwindrider29 @inept-the-magnificent @mellymbee @that1nerd-20
@hipabbster23 @bitccchmood @bigbutchenergee @rainbowcat164 @the-strawberrythief
@johnssherlock221 @misstokyo7love @vivian-pascal @florxdexcerezo @fanficlover1414
@rarachelchel @heartbrokenlilbitch-nef @jeewrites @sunnytuliptime @kulekehe
@bebsjo @yopossum @cartonkid1200 @rav3n-pascal22 @sjc7542
@xxx-silhouette-xxx @pedroswife69 @kilamonster @mandoshoney @joelalorian
@syd-djarin @moonlessnight14 @lucienofthelakes
#din djarin#modern!din djarin#din djarin fic#din djarin fanfiction#din djarin x you#din djarin x reader#din djarin x f!reader#pedro pascal characters fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#modern au
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JOÃO FOR HIS BIRTHDAYYY
as soon as i saw this i knew i had to do it omg!!! its joao's bithday y'all ahh
ONLY FOR YOU
pairing: joao felix x reader
type: fluff
warnings: kissing
MASTERLIST
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You’d been looking forward to João’s birthday for weeks, carefully planning out every detail. You knew he wasn’t into big parties or loud celebrations, preferring something calm and intimate. So, you spent the afternoon setting up the apartment, lighting a few candles, cooking his favorite dinner, and setting up a cozy spot on the couch for the two of you to relax together afterward. By the time everything was ready, you could hardly wait for him to walk through the door.
When he finally came in, João stopped in his tracks, taking it all in—the soft lights, the warmth in the room, the delicious aroma coming from the kitchen, and you standing there, waiting with a big smile.
“Surprise!” you said, beaming, and you could see the happiness spreading across his face.
He pulled you into a tight hug, wrapping you up in his arms. “Thank you, meu amor,” he murmured, pressing his lips against yours before pulling back to look at you. “You didn’t have to do all this.”
“Well, too late,” you teased, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “You only turn twenty-five once, right?”
He laughed softly, letting his hand slide down to hold yours. “You’re right, and this is already perfect.”
You guided him over to the table, where you’d set out his favorite dishes, and the two of you settled in for a cozy dinner, chatting about everything and nothing, laughing about little memories, and catching up. It felt like one of those timeless evenings, and the way João kept smiling at you, reaching across the table to squeeze your hand, or brushing a strand of hair from your face—each moment was enough to make your heart flutter.
After dinner, you cleared away the plates and returned with a small, chocolate cake, decorated simply but made with so much love. João’s eyes lit up as he saw it, his gaze shifting between the cake and you, a hint of amusement in his expression.
“You baked?” he asked, grinning.
“Okay, yes,” you admitted with a shy smile, handing him a fork. “So, it’s probably not as perfect as you’re used to, but I tried!”
João laughed, leaning over to press a quick kiss to your lips, lingering there for just a second longer than usual. “Anything you make is perfect,” he whispered against your lips before pulling away with a grin, ready to dig into the cake.
You both took a few bites, and he looked up, giving you that familiar look, the one that said he couldn’t be happier. “It’s amazing,” he said, reaching out to hold your hand across the table.
After the cake, you moved over to the couch, curling up under a warm blanket as you gave him a few small gifts you’d picked out—a cozy sweater for the chillier nights, a leather-bound journal, and, last but not least, a scrapbook of your favorite memories together.
João opened the scrapbook slowly, his fingers running over each page as he took in the photos and little notes you’d written for each moment. You’d added everything you could think of: candid photos from your weekend trips, movie ticket stubs, photos from match days when you’d been there to cheer him on. Each memory was a reminder of how much he meant to you.
When he reached the last page, he paused, looking up at you, his eyes warm with emotion. “I can’t believe you made all of this for me.”
You shrugged, trying to act casual, even though your cheeks were warming under his gaze. “Of course I did. You’re worth it.”
João let out a soft laugh, leaning in until his face was close to yours, his hand reaching up to gently cup your cheek. His thumb brushed over your skin as he tilted your face up, his voice soft. “I don’t think anyone’s ever done something this thoughtful for me.”
You felt your heart race as he moved closer, his lips meeting yours in a slow, lingering kiss that felt as gentle as it did full of love. His other hand moved to your waist, pulling you just a little closer as he deepened the kiss, making you feel like nothing else mattered at that moment.
When he finally pulled away, his face was close to yours, his forehead resting gently against yours as he whispered, “This is the best birthday I could ever ask for. Thank you, meu amor.”
You laughed softly, giving him a small peck on the lips. “I’m glad,” you whispered, resting your head against his shoulder, feeling his arm wrap around you protectively.
The two of you stayed there, tangled up together, talking in hushed voices, as if you were the only people in the world. And as the night went on, you knew that this quiet celebration—just the two of you, wrapped up in each other—was exactly what João had wanted.
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#football#football x oc#football x reader#football x y/n#football x you#joao felix#joao felix x reader#joao felix x y/n#joao felix x you#barcelona spain#barcelona x reader#fc barcelona#Bar
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Where we go from here...
It took me awhile last evening to get my mind in the right place to do the baking I had to do. I thought I would put on some music on my little radio station to kick my head into work mode. Tried some Glenn Gould playing Bach (always a go-to for morning coffee music), and it didn't hit right.
So I dialed up the huge mix I have titled "1969-72" and almost immediately started the long road back to feeling like myself. After about a half-hour, I was in the groove. Listened to the mix far into the night, after I'd finished working.
I managed to keep my focus and got the cookies all baked, and kiddo's mom happily packed them up and just left for her party, and I'm over here for the next couple of nights, sadly for my back. Two nights of "No Mattress For Old Men" and I'll need a week to recover, but hey...
Wanna thank all y'all for your comments and messages when I posted that I was prolly just gonna go black. Y'all loved me back off the ledge. Posted in a moment of true despair...something I haven't felt in awhile. I am hurting for all of us...and all of you. I have never in my long life been scared for the nation until now. Or at least that's what I thought. This feeling of complete despair, the emotional pain of millions of people, the hopelessness, the fear for the future...after I sat with it awhile I realized yes, that I have felt this same combination of toxic shit before.
In the 65 years I've been on this stinkin' rock, I've been through a number of particularly devastating previous elections, most notably the two Bush2(Dumbya) regimes. I remember the night of the 2004 election...Americans were posting tearful photos taken by their webcams, with them holding up signs saying "We're sorry."
I saw first-hand all the fights for rights that we have gained from the early '60s onward. To find ourselves set back to square one, 50-60 years later, when we had finally gained some footing toward fairness, is cruel. And cruelty is what they will wield as their main weapons in the coming days, as we suddenly find ourselves in the same predicament as 1963-65 when a virginal Joan Baez and little Bobby Dylan changed protest music forever.
So yes, I have felt this same way, and no, the nation didn't die or descend into complete chaos. Our lives went on, essentially as they had, with a growing pile of "things we can't do anymore" heaped atop via the collective wounding of 9/11.
This is another collective wounding--an intentional collective wounding. The next few months are going to be chaotic, they will try to push through their agenda as quickly as possible come january.
I may not post much overtly political stuff from this point on, but if I do it will be refocused on positive news. I don't know for certain how long that might last, but I can't take a 24/7 barrage of bad news and outrage bait. I'm probably gonna unfollow a few blogs, but don't think it's personal...it is Mental/Emotional Health Care.
And yes, I've been in the trenches with y'all a long time...we are all Family at this point...Brothers and Sisters in arms. I'm not leaving, but my presence/role will be different, out of the renewed sense of self-preservation this has thrust me into.
I woke up disoriented, but quickly remembered I'd gotten what I needed to get done done, and had a slow re-entry, sipping my coffee for a couple hours. I kept remembering how well the music had helped me last night, and then the beginnings of what this might turn into began to coalesce. Concepts of a plan. lulz.
As the day went on, I've been on a roller-coaster, emotionally, with seemingly hopeful leads on a roommate not materializing, on top of my craigslist ad for a roomie getting flagged and deleted. Pretty goddamn hopeless as far as this situation is going.
Looked at the huge box of cookies I'd managed to bake last night and it hit me. I've been reblogging the "Gooood Morning, TUMBLR!" graphics every morning up until the election. The image of Robin Williams being in character calling up the role of the military DJ.
Back when I did my cafe in the mountains of NM, a friend lent me a book called "Radio Venceramos", about South American rebels who had a radio transmitter and clamped the leads to the barbed-wire fences to broadcast their signal/programming to their fellow rebels.
Still not sure how the format will work out, but I've decided: my new role is going to primarily be the voice of inspiration over the air-waves to my fellow rebels. Not sure if it will be a second blog or if it will be a continuation of PTSD, but with no further ado, I will become the Voice of my fellow rebels with:
I may make a second blog out of it, but until then I guess I'll make it a series of posts. Tumblr will let you blog up to ten videos/post, and that may be how I start things out. Consider them like stacks of 45s and LP tracks from my paul-shaffer-brain...meant to help keep spirits up and keep the focus.
Made a couple of graphics, will probably try others in the course of it.
So the message today was "You did what you had to do. Heal up for what's ahead."
I will probably start this new focus in the morning...I'm still chewin'.
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I've been messing around trying to figure out the best way to digitize my doodles, and... it's been a bit of a frustrating process ngl 😅 so I thought it might be fun to do a lil series of quick doodles starring my OCs, so I can experiment and get some practice with this new medium.
So here's the idea: I'm gonna go on my main tickling blog, close my eyes, give it a good swipe, and draw a quick messy shitty lil doodle based on whatever post I land on.
I don't wanna hijack the posts themselves, so I'm just gonna link to them and tag the OP (but @ OP, if you'd prefer I reblog it directly I can always repost that way!)
The first post I landed on was this one by @puppys-preytime:
So Gus (the lil dude on the left) is a mad scientist from a black-and-white horror film who accidentally drank a Jekyll-and-Hyde type potion at one point. As a result he occasionally has lil flashes of Evil™ that he needs to be snapped out of.
Luckily that's pretty easy to do, because he's very ticklish.
#ugh the image quality here is utter trash#really struggling with how to get my pencil sketches digitized#specifically since im working on a time crunch#tracing the pencil sketches in krita (or just drawing them there in the first place) looks the best#but i cant stare at the computer screen that long#gives me a migrane#so these are photos of my sketches after fooling around with the contrast & brightness & saturation etc.#BUT I think a lot of the issue is the type of paoer im using#because the pic of Bailey and Gus from last week was on paper designed for markers#so it was much smoother paper and the “scan” looked much cleaner#so I'm gonna try to stick with that instead of sketchbook paper from now on#hopefully the next set will be nicer 😅#i may do a redraw of this one at some point too#anyway just thinkin out loud here lol
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on losing a mother
#yelling#s.poem#mom tag#poetry#okay to reblog#it's officially been over a year since the last time i saw my mom.#her skin was translucent paper thin and she looked so fragile in tht hospital bed but she was supposed to be getting better#and she did. for about a month.#she went back into the hospital 3 days after my birthday.#she stayed there for like 2 weeks and then died about a week after she checked herself out.#the last time she ever texted me was on my birthday. i waited two days to text back. and i never heard back from her.#the next time i saw her she was a pile of grey ashes in a plastic urn. she sits on my shelf now. i haven't gotten her a new urn yet.#i try not to feel guilty. there wasn't much i could do from a thousand miles away#but i still feel the guilt every day itching under my skin and screaming at me in my mind that i should have done better#that i should have been there for her#her phone number has since been given to someone else. i deactivated her facebook account. i cleaned out her apartment & threw away almost#all of her belongings.#i took photo albums. i took some jewelry - including the ring she wore as she was cremated. it survived the fire. the funeral home put it#in the urn with her ashes. i wear it sometimes just to feel like there's still a part of her with me.#but she's gone and i don't believe in an afterlife and neither did she#there's some comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain that she is no longer suffering#but i still sit here and i think of all the things i never got to tell her and the new things i want to tell her every single day#i never got to come out to her. not really. i never got to tell her that i understood what she went thru with my dad because i lived it too#anyways. sorry for going off in the tags. i'm okay i promise. just feeling a lot of feelings right now.
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if I may offer a word of advise to any person out there who may be as stupid as me - do not walk through a field of stinging nettles barefoot
#I’m not about to post a photo of what the bottom of my feet look like (at least not for free) but#just imagine the absolute last thing you would want the bottoms of your feet to look like. That’s what mine look like rn#I haven’t been genuinely fr fr drunk in a long ass time (2 weeks) so I guess this is what I get eh#this happened last night btw I was too drunk to notice the state of my feet so I slept like this 😭😭😭#so now I’m going to have a hangover soon AND I’ve got a literal BILLION tiny needles in my feet#Maybe next time I decided to get hammered I’ll put locks on my shoes to prevent myself from taking them off#Although bright side I’m glad I was just in a field and not walking around barefoot in a street where#I could step on broken glass or hypodermic needles or something lol so. silver lining#But fr idk what to do about it I feel like I’m still too drunk to start plucking them out rn my hands are too shakey#So I guess I’m just going to wait around like this until I’m sober enough?#& love how I was posting about staying in last night lol. Nice try mf you really thought you were just gonna watch a movie then go to bed 😭#I drank well over half a bottle of whiskey last night lmfao I don’t wanna know how many shots that comes out to be… over 10 at least 💀#Maybe I have a problem……. nahhhhhhhjhjjjhhhhhh
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I was going down the old yt rabit hole, just watching 9 almost 10 year old videos nbd, and I came across the age old argument/explination/confusion/huh/what/¯\_(ツ)_/¯ of Mangle of Five Nights at Freddy's FUCK'N TWO's gender. Along the lines of; his pronouns are Loudly he/him in-game, but the fandom would not shut up about, but it's a girl, look at her, girl foxy. Period done shut up about it-BUT THEY'RE CALLED HE/HIM!!! Fuck it, they go by they/them now, fuck you, fuck me, fuck Mangle and it's gender. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is ALL those fandom fights ending in fire and tears and bloodshed came back full force and I went
"FUCK IT, BIGENDER MANGLE!" As like a knee-jerk reaction because GOD it's been a fight in the trenches for literally almost a decade. AND THEN I went "oh fuck, bigender Mangle. It all makes sense now." And then holy choir rang out and god in her holy he/her glory bestowed upon me some mediocre cheesecake of which I ate all of it in one sitting...Where was I? Ah yea, amazing how fast that war could have ended if being bigender was more widely known back then, but hey, we can finally put down the pitchforks now right?
...Right?
"There are still only 2 genders, no one can be both at once!"
Motherfu-
#fnaf#mangle fnaf#mangle the fox#huh. never used that tag before.#five nights at freddys#fnaf 2#shit this franchise is getting Old. maybe even OLD#just 1:30am thoughts no worry about me guys...im mentally stable...well more mentally stable than I was 42 hours ago. and the past...week?#2 weeks? o_o you know it's bad when you don't know when your last solid memory was.#OH MY GOSH. ON A VERY UNRELATED NOTE I FOUND OLD PHOTOS OF MY DAD'S PLACE ON THE INTERNET /WHEN HE WAS STILL LIVING THERE!!!/#HE STILL HAS A DISH ON THE BACK OF THE SINK! HE STILL SITS ON THE RECLINER TO THE RIGHT! I COULD SEE HIS COFFEE MUG ON THE ENDTABLE!#MY OLD PILLOW! HIS /PAINTING!/ MY FUCKING ROCKS IN THE PLAY AREA IN THE HALLWAY TO THE KITCHEN!#THEY EVEN HAVE PICTURES OF THE UPSTAIRS! OF WHICH I HAVEN'T SEEN SINCE HE MOVED /DOWNSTAIRS!/#THE PICTURES WERE TAKEN 11 FUC-FUCKING YEARS AGO! HE STILL LIVES THERE! ON THIS WEBSITE /HE STILL LIVES THERE!!/#GAH-IM GONNA CRY AGAIN JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!#yes. yes I cried about it Big time when I got downstairs in the gallery. I was expecting it to all be gutted from looking at the upstairs.#but the first photo. the first fucking photo that was downstairs was.....his. fucking. room. the layout was a bit different to the last tim#he changed it. but...fuck man. fuck. yeah. I started sobbing...the picture that got me full crying though was the hallway going into the#livingroom. I could see the tv. the shelf above his bedroom door. the door to the outside halway. the carpet the speaker the doors to the#basement and bathroom. the bathroom door crakced upen Just Right so the cats have a harder time getting in there...#the hallway I used most to walk into the living room because we used the back door to drop me off...I could feel the couch I slept on for#too many years for my developing bones...all those painted walls and the matching coffee table that got moved and moved throughout#fuck#fuck.#none of it is there. and i still don't know what happened to the cats. or his painting or his movies or his games or the mug i got him#shit. ignore these tags. i just needed someone to know. I think most of my family is tired of me being sad about this...I can't help it tho#I don't think I'm ever getting closure...and I just need someone to know whenever... I'm gonna eat cheesecake now...#....god i miss that livingroom. I fucking miss him....#this post was just supposed to be about mangle im sorry guys...though...i can see why mangle led me back to mac...#I'll never know about that too...never even got to drink with him...we missed so many years because of my mom's shitty ex...
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Been spending the past week deep diving back into the visual kei bands I was enamored with in high school and foaming at the mouth because back in the days of pre-social media, pre-Spotify, and YouTube still in its infancy I was pretty much limited to whatever images I could scrounge up on google and deviantart and the dozen or so songs I was able to find on limewire so I ended up hitting a wall pretty quick with how invested I could get but now I have access to so much and I’m aaaaaa?????? Been realizing how much those artists were a blueprint for me in my formative years of out there performative femininity and genderfuckery and costuming dramaaaaa before I really knew what drag even was and how influential they’ve been to my current aesthetic sensibilities and getting to re-process all of this through the lens of being a queer adult has been really exciting 🥲
#shouts into void#also officially adding dir en grey in particular to my roster of#wierdos I was obsessed with in 2006 who are still killing it as hot genderfucky goths in their late 40s early 50s#this spiral started with some photos from their tour that just ended last week showing up on my insta explore page#and me losing my mind (/pos) at how they look these days#and also how overtly drag inspired a lot of Kyo’s more recent looks have been??#god bless#Gay yelling
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my mom hates the house, hates the neighborhood (can't walk to anything/have to get in the car for everything), can't find stuff she packed, doesn't have good places to put her stuff, her big desk doesn't fit in the "office alcove", the cat is days away from being put down and so he's clingy and sad...
MA'AM. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS DESPERATE TO MOVE. BUYING THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS SINCE JULY OF THIS YEAR. "MOVING" AS A CONCEPT HAS BEEN THE SUBTITLE OF MY LIFE FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS. YOU DO NOT GET TO BE A PISSY TODDLER NOW. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL YOUR DOING.
#the secret world of merry mac#and she keeps yelling at Arthur to leave her alone but he's fucking dying. he barely eats and he's cold and has balance issues#the poor cat is existing in his final week on this planet and she's just mad at him and taking it out on him#i have basically no furniture (none of it matched and so i didn't mind giving it away/selling it)#so that means my things are all shoved into precariously stacked boxes and i'm sleeping on an army cot#i'm depressed too!! i left a decent paying job doing something i really liked! i would have been fine moving to a different house in town!!#she wanted (1) trader joe's (2) kaiser permanente and (3) her own swimming pool#she got (1) trader joe's 2 freeways/30m drive away (2) no kaiser and (3) no pool#this is how we always move; my mom gets the itch and then we leave. it's not that she wants to move TO somwhere-- it's just AWAY from here#(wherever 'here' is)#so i spent my entire last paycheck on furniture that won't even be here for a week or more#i also hate the (brand new) fridge that came with the house. it's a side-by-side and it's simultaneously stupidly spacious#but also the space is used in such a stupid way that you can't even lay a frozen pizza flat on a freezer shelf#she also collects screws/nuts/bolts/nails/washers like a fucking magpie and so no two are the same#and she doesn't use the correct things for the job and she just put two ROOFING NAILS into the wall to hold a magnet board up#she sucks at home repair (made worse by the aforementioned WRONG TOOLS FOR THE JOB) and so everything is done#with extreme frustration and it turns out half-assed and looks bad#she doesn't wait and/or think about where she wants stuff to go so she's just spent the afternoon hanging things up badly#and the house is going to look like it was decorated by some clown who needs to hang every piece of art they own all at once#we have picture rails so we can swap artwork/photos according to mood/season/etc but no... she just puts EVERYTHING out all at once#anyway i'm so sad and tired and frustrated and angry and it feels really unfair to keep my mouth shut when she says 'i wish we never moved!
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#truly no faster way to make me so so ill than the seol and the seolite diaspora DE tag on ao3. not in a bad way not in a good way either#also last week i hung out w a friend i hadn't seen in a while and we joked about diaspora lit bingo a lot#but yeah idk. the way my sister is reconnecting w her asianness through like. kdramas/cdramas and kpop etc#the way i only have about 4 chinese language songs liked on spotify and they're like#one from the CRA soundtrack two bc i looked up an artist whose photos were on tumblr and who i found hot#and one from my white roommate who's learning mandarin#and i wonder if my parents are like. so bummed that we ignored them and made fun of their shows and music and accents as elementary schoole#and now they see her doing this and me. idk. claiming POCness via something i never engaged with in a way i find satisfactory#or idk. the whole immigrant parents being your passports to your language/culture and once they die it's game over#ESP bc you only ever took enough chinese classes to graduate hs or college no more#and kim kitsuragi is suchhhhhhh an interesting look at that bc like. he is an orphan and he does have zero cultural or language ties to seo#like. he would absolutely dannyamericanbornchinese himself if he could#and i want him to reconnect like i imagine him reconnecting w being asian and it causes feelings of comfort and such in me#but like. he shouldn't have to obviously and#one of the notes of a fic in that tag is from a biracial person who says#I flip between wish fulfillment and scrutinizing the degree Kim 'needs' to reclaim his heritage#and like yeah. yeah. that thing#and idk i don't think there's a distinct chinese-american culture the way that chinese-american cuisine is like. A Thing you know#maybe i'd feel better if there was that#and if there was just one other seolite person in disco elysium but i think kim's racial isolation is purposeful#what is there for me but to idk. reread the joy luck club and have another crisis about it#personal
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this is the second weekend in a row a lovely random lady has told me how wonderful I look and how much they like my outfit 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
#lia talks#IM CRYING THIS HAS BEEN SO NICE#last week I was at a tea cafe with my friend#before hitting the art gallery#and we went to a stall across from the cafe#and this lady was like excuse me can I take a photo of you two#and at first we were like wtf but then she said you both look so lovely#and was like I love ur dress#and was like you guys should have a photo taken on your phone#and today was at Xmas markets#and this lady stopped me and I was like I just have to tell you how wonderful you look today#she was like someone needs to say how amazing you look today so I will#I’m currently wearing shorts that match my bucket hat#IM JUST SO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
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