closeyoureyes-andimagine

[closeyoureyes-andimagine]

Holding On (Vinny Mauro Imagine, Request) *TW*

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions and details of suicidal thoughts/suicide/self harm

Thank you @j0eyj0rdis0n for the topic request <3

This short story explores opening up to Vinny about suicidal thoughts and tendencies for the first time. You spent your time knowing him trying to be cool and picture perfect, but you can’t bottle it up any longer. You just hope he understands and doesn’t run. His reaction opens your eyes to just how great he is.

I haven’t been feeling well. Mentally, I mean. I’ve been unsteady and confused and scared and angry and sad and low and high and all over the place. My world feels like it’s spinning off of its axis every second of every day. 

I’m trying my best to keep it together because, tonight, I have plans. Tonight is the first Motionless in White show after the Coronavirus lockdown, and it’s going to be huge. It’s in my hometown, and I promised Vinny I’d be there. I’ve been meaning to talk to him about how I’ve been feeling; he’s my go-to guy. I’m just afraid of being so vulnerable.

Vinny and I met online through Instagram. We started talking here and there, very casually, and eventually we talked enough to decide to meet each other in person; the friendship spiraling from there. We got quite close over the past few years. He’s an amazing guy, and it’s no secret I have feelings for him. I know he has them for me, too, but it’s tough being in a band and touring - relationships aren’t always the best option.

I haven’t seen him in a few weeks, so this show tonight is important for both of us. We’re both looking forward to meeting up again, and I’m looking forward to finally hearing some live music. Maybe it’ll help clear my head.

After practically dragging myself out of bed to shower and get dressed, I arrive at the venue. There is a line of screaming, partially masked fans down the street that wraps around, but one of the perks of sort-of-kind-of dating the drummer is: I don’t wait in lines.

I show my ID, sign in, and walk to side stage. I start feeling anxious. In typical Vinny fashion, he’s right where I need him exactly when I need him, and he’s walking towards me, arms wide open.

“I am so happy you made it out! I missed you!” Vinny says, picking me up in a tight embrace. It feels warm.

“I’m so happy to be here. I really needed to escape my mind for a bit. I’m happy to see you,” I shyly smile.

We catch up for a few minutes before the opener performs. We talk about what we want to do after the show; where we want to go. I told him I would really like to talk to him tonight. I said it’s serious. He looked concerned, and I felt horrible. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him something like that right before he performs his first show in a year, but he grabbed my shoulders and reassured me that, whatever it is, he is here for me.

Towards the end of the openers performance, Vinny has to leave to get ready to go on himself. 

The lights go dark. The crowd goes insane. The energy in the room is unbelievable and just what I needed, but I still can’t shake the feeling inside.

Simply put: I don’t want to be here anymore. No, not the show. The world. I have this overwhelming feeling of dread every waking and sleeping second and I want the pain to stop, even just for a little while. I have no friends. No family left. Just Vinny. I think of him when I swallow one too many pills. I think of him when I drink WAY past my limit. I think of him when I put the razor to my wrist and carve myself like the trunk of a tree. I cannot bear the thought of leaving him, but even worse, I cannot bear the thought of staying here with myself.

After the show and the inevitable fan photos and autographs, Vinny and I are finally alone. We head to a local bar that has a very relaxed, isolated outdoor vibe. He doesn’t drink, but he thought this would be a nice place to relax after a night of screaming music.

We talked about everything as if we haven’t seen each other in years. It’s only been a few weeks, but even one hour away from him feels like an eternity. Probably because he’s all I got.

There was a lull in the conversation while he sipped his soda and scanned the room. I start to quiver and tears filled my eyes. He noticed.

“Y/N, what’s going on? What happened?”

“Vinny, I-” My voice trails off while the tears pour like acid rain onto my cheeks.

“Please talk to me. I’m here,” he whispered while grabbing my hand. He noticed healing scars below his grip.

“Y/N...”

“I can’t hide it anymore. I’ve tried. I’ve tried to be the fun, perfect, fan-turned-friend-turned-possible-lover for you and I can’t. I can’t be that. I’m destroyed, Vinny. The world has fucked me time and time again and I can no longer hold onto it. But I can’t leave you. But I don’t want to be here. But I can’t choose a way to go. But no one cares if I go or not.”

I go completely numb. Vinny goes completely silent.

“And now,” I continue, “I’ve ruined your first show back, and killed the mood and killed our friendship by telling you I want nothing more than to kill myself. I think about it all the time. It’s consuming my brain. I can’t escape it.”

Vinny looks like he is searching the room for the right words to say. 

“Y/N, I don’t even know what to say to you right now to make you understand that you have more purpose than anyone I’ve ever known.”

Those words, “you have purpose”, coming from Vinny spun in the air like a falling snowflake. He continued.

“I’ve never felt this way so I cannot speak from experience. All I know is: everyone has someone, and you have me. You always have, and you always will. And if I have to spend every second with you reminding you of that, then, I will, gladly and proudly. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are beautiful, smart, nurturing, and just a general joy to be around. You make everyone you meet a better person. Do you know that?” He grabs my hands tighter, his voice starting to shake.

“I’m trying,” I whisper.

“I know you are. And that’s the hardest part of the job. But, look. You’re doing it. You are choosing every single day to get up and try. Do you know how many people don’t take that step? It’s hard. But you can do hard things. You do them every day and you become stronger and smarter because of them. Please don’t throw it all away.”

He leans back, pensively. Like he’s trying to think of more to say to fill the silence. But then he realizes, maybe silence is just what I need.

My head has been filled with a thousand voices. Somehow, some way, Vinny just spoke to them all simultaneously and silenced them in one, quick swoop.

After about 5 minutes of complete quiet, I speak up.

“I don’t know why you treat me so well. I don’t feel deserving, but I appreciate your role in my life more than you know. Thank you for seeing me. Truly, seeing me.”

About another hour passes. We leave the bar and head to my apartment. We make some snacks, watch some movies, and pass out on my bed.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel a desire to just... Be. Be whatever I want that day: sad, happy, lazy, irrational, curious... Which is a new development. I have a new sense of, just allow yourself to be yourself and experience those feelings and move on from them that I didn’t have before speaking to Vinny.

I look over at him; he’s still asleep, peacefully. I think about how just opening up to someone can truly change your point of view. Keeping things bottled up only allows them to explode. But, if you choose to pour out the contents first, you can teach things to develop and grow. They won’t be able to haunt you or deteriorate you any longer. Water them, and watch them bloom.

“Hey, early bird,” Vinny says while rolling over, still wrapped like a burrito in my comforter. 

“Want to tackle the day together?”

[closeyoureyes-andimagine]

I was wondering if you could write a Vinny imagine where the reader finally tells him that they're struggling with suicidal thoughts? Love your other imagine btw! 🖤

thanks so much! & absolutely! I'll get to work on something! <3 

[closeyoureyes-andimagine]

SEND REQUESTS FOR FANFICTION/IMAGINE!

PLEASE SEND IMAGINE REQUESTS!

HI EVERYONE!

I’m a new fanfiction blog. I plan to write solely for bands and their members.

Please message me with requests and storylines (<-- click that link!). I have tons of ideas, but want some of YOURS! I’m trying to build a following so we can have more imagines for bands (like Motionless in White, specifically) on here!

Thank you! Xo

PS: Feel free to read my first fanfiction posted on my blog. Give me feedback! :)

[closeyoureyes-andimagine]

Willing, For You (Vinny Mauro Imagine: Full Length Story)

Vinny Mauro x Character (Amy)

First Person POV

Warnings: Language, a little bit of fluff, slightly sexual content (no details of sex, but it is mentioned)

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I wrote this in the future. I know he is 24, not 25. I wrote this as if this is next year, when I’d be 21. Also, no, my name is not Amy. LOL.

I’m a huge fan of Motionless in White. I have been for about 6 years. I’m also a huge fan of their drummer, Vinny Mauro. I think he’s extremely attractive.

He posted on his Instagram story today that he is in Philly, where I live. MIW isn’t on tour right now; he’s just visiting friends here. I thought long and hard about semi-stalking to find out where he is so I can “accidentally run into him”, but decided against it. He’s here on his small break from tour to see friends. Let me not intrude and be super fucking weird about it.

I made plans to distract myself from the fact that he is probably super close to where I am. I decided to do a little retail and food therapy all by myself. It was a lovely day. It’s July, but it wasn’t too hot like last summer. I put on a cute outfit and was having a great hair and makeup day. Why not hit the town?

I Ubered to a good spot in a place called Center City. It’s basically “downtown”. There’s a shit ton of stores and other businesses and a lot of great restaurants, fancy and casual. I started walking around, checking out boutiques and hitting up a few chain stores like Sephora, H&M, and Urban Outfitters.

My ex, who is still my best friend, works at the Urban Outfitters up here. When I walked in, I immediately went down to the men’s section where he works. I saw a dude with his back facing me, and I thought it was my ex. I tapped on his shoulder and said, jokingly, “Hey, do you guys sell dildos here?” When the dude turned around, I was genuinely shocked (and embarrassed).

It was fucking Vinny Mauro.

“I don’t work here,” he giggled with wide eyes considering I just asked about fucking DILDOS.

“I-I... I’m sorry. I swore you were my friend who works here. Y’all are twins from the back. Also, I know you don’t work here. You’re Vinny Mauro, and I’m a huge fan of you,” I giggled back.

“Oh, cool! Hi! I’m Vinny,” he shook my hand in response. “What’s your name?” 

“I’m Amy. I was obviously just fucking around about the dildos, by the way.”

He smiled at me and gave a little laugh. I didn’t want to ask for a picture. I felt bad. I felt like I was bothering him and I didn’t want to come off as a fangirl. 

“Well, hey, I’ll leave you be. It was really nice meeting you! Sorry for being annoying,” I reluctantly said.

“Wait!” He exclaimed. “Do you wanna take a picture or something before you go?”

“Oh yeah, sure,” I said, pretending like that didn’t even cross my mind. “I didn’t want to be a bother!”

We took a few selfies. He looked cute in every one of them, of course. 

“Thank you so much,” I said shyly. “I appreciate it. Okay, NOW I’ll leave you be!”

He hugged me, thanked me for being a fan, and I went on my way. I looked around for my ex, only to find out that he wasn’t even working that day. Awkward.

I went to the book section. Urban has a great selection of books, in my opinion. I was really zoned out looking at what I haven’t seen before when I heard a familiar voice.

“Amy?” It was Vinny.

“Oh, hey! What’s up?”

“I was wondering if maybe you’d wanna go grab some food or coffee or something.”

I was shocked, and probably looking at him with my jaw 6 feet underground. “Of course, I’d love that.”

We left Urban. He asked if I knew of any good coffee shops and I offered up the one that I’ve been interested in trying that I heard great reviews about. We looked it up on Yelp, and he agreed to check it out. It was actually pretty close, and since it was a nice day, we decided to walk instead of Ubering anywhere.

On our walk, we got to know each other. He asked me a bunch of questions about myself, and I asked him things that we all, as fans, didn’t already know. Like what he does when he’s home from tour, what he looks forward to most when traveling, etc. When we finally arrived at the coffee shop and got our orders, we sat outside and talked more.

“Wait, you really wrote fanfiction about me? HAHA, that’s amazing. Lemme read it!” He laughed so hard.

I was so embarrassed! “NO WAY! It’s like every other one you’ve probably read already - tons of rough sex and embarrassing descriptions of what it felt like,” I admitted.

He laughed but didn’t seem at all creeped out. He thought it was genuinely entertaining. THANK GOD.

“The thing about fanfiction is, like... I’m not really like that. I’m definitely not that forward with girls and I have little to no game whatsoever. So it’s really funny to see the way people imagine me when they’re writing these stories,” He said, looking down, as if him admitting his game with women sucked dick hurt his ego.

“What? Little to no game? You haven’t even TRIED game on me and I’m already won over,” I flirted, smirking a little.

He looked shocked by what I said. “Really?”

“Well... Yeah, honestly. And no, it’s not because you’re like... Famous.”

He smiled. “Then what is it?”

I took a long breath before answering. “I can tell when people are cool. You are cool. You seem like a good, down to earth kind of dude. We don’t get a lot of those around here. I feel super comfortable talking to you and would love to do that for forever.” I laughed to make myself sound less creepy.

He smiled again. This time, even bigger. “That’s really sweet. Thank you,” he replied softly. “It’s nice to know you see me like that.”

“It is?” I questioned.

“Yeah. I feel the same way about you. I didn’t know you at all earlier, but after talking to you for 5 seconds, I wanted more. That’s why I asked you to hang out. It felt different than a normal fan encounter.” That was actually something I took as a huge compliment. I always say that when I meet “celebrities”, I want them to think, hey, she wasn’t insane and obsessed. She was normal and cool.  And I seemed to have accomplished that with Vinny.

“Well, good. That is actually really nice to hear.”

He smiled at me even more. I smiled back. We were silent for what felt like ages but what really was .2 seconds.

“Wanna get out of here?” Vinny asked.

“Sure. Where to, my liege?” 

He ordered an Uber and took me to his AirBNB. At first I was super nervous. I haven’t been alone with a guy I’m attracted to in like... Almost 2 years. After walking inside, sitting down, and turning the TV on, I was relaxed.

We talked more about our lives. It got deep pretty fast, and I loved being so open with him. It felt easy and super normal, almost as if we’ve known each other for years. At one point, he asked me about my last relationship and why it ended, to which I answered, “we weren’t clicking as a couple. Friendship was at the forefront of it all, so we called it off. It’s so much better that way. No pain.”

He smiled when I said that. He said it was super mature of me to think of it that way, which I never considered it to be before.

After we finished talking about my ex, he inched closer to me, placing his hand on my thigh. He looked down at his hand and then flicked his eyes back up to mine.

“I like you, Amy,” he sighed. “I don’t want to be too forward, but I also don’t wanna miss any chances.”

I stuttered a little until I could form a sentence. “It’s not too forward. Please take the chances I’m offering you. I approve.” I said seriously, but still being a little funny to make him feel comfortable.

He leaned into me. He moved his hand to my face. His fingers traced the perimeter, continuing into my hair. He very lightly tugged, not to jerk my head back, but just to put that sort of intense energy out there. I loved it.

I looked at his soft lips, back up to his eyes, back down, back up... I continued doing so until he couldn’t take it anymore and gently, but passionately, put his lips on mine. He was being careful but at the same time, rough. It was a nice in-between feeling. 

His hands left my face and trailed down my shoulders to my waist and lower back. His fingertips tickled each part of me on the way down, causing me to shiver. I smiled into the kiss. He felt me smile, so he followed suit. It was pretty adorable.

He pulled me closer and closer until, eventually, I was straddling him. It wasn’t sexual, which was interesting. It was loving; tender, even. His hands never went lower than my waist. They never grabbed my breasts. They stayed in safe places with little tickles and squeezes here and there. After a while, he pulled away, looked into my eyes. His were sparkling.

“Can I be forward?” He asked.

“Of course,” I replied, excitedly. 

“I literally am buzzing. I feel sparks.” He smiled while he said it, as if he was in shock that he felt that with someone who is practically a stranger.

I didn’t know how to respond. The truth was that I was feeling the same way. Even though he just said it, I didn’t know if I should, as well. I felt nervous to admit it. I didn’t want to seem to forward the same way he didn’t. But I conceded. 

“Vinny,” I started, somewhat breathless. “I feel the same way. I never felt like that kissing someone before.”

“Me either,” he confessed. “I kinda want to ride this wave out. But I have to be completely blunt and forward with you, okay?”

I was nervous to hear what followed that set up.

“I’m 25. Even though I tour all over, I still am looking for something more serious. Exclusive. Real. I know we just met, but are you willing to see where this goes and take it in that direction?” He looked at me very intensely, awaiting my response. I knew what my answer was, but was slightly hesitant.

I took a deep breath, exhaled, and began. “Yes. I am willing. I would want nothing more than that. I’m willing to accept that sort of lifestyle for you. I really can feel that this is something good we got here, already, even after a few hours of being with each other. Is that weird?”

He smirked. “No. It’s not weird. It’s a connection,” he insisted. I was happy to hear him say those words.

We kissed again. This time, more intensely until it led to something more heated.

*a few hours later*

It was getting late. He had to meet up with some friends, and I had to head home and shower. I had some shows to catch up on my DVR. Big plans, I know.

I thanked Vinny about a thousand times for hanging out.

“So... What now?” I asked, checking up on his previous want to continue our rela-uh... Whatever this is right now.

We finally exchanged numbers and all of our social media usernames.

“I’ll text you later. My plan is to see you whenever it’s possible. I want to know you more and see where we end up. I feel good about us.” He answered.

I was grinning from ear to ear. “That sounds lovely.”

I got in his car. He drove me to my house, opening my car door for me when we arrived. He led me to my front door, hugging my waist and kissing my neck before letting me go.

“Thank you,” he said. “I’m happy.”

“I am, too,” I hummed. I hugged him again, kissing the side of his forehead.

We said our goodbyes. I was sad to see him go, but was ecstatic knowing that this wasn’t the end. There was much more to come, and I couldn’t wait to see the story unfold. This was such an unexpected chain of events with the most beautiful ending. I watched him as he got back into the driver’s seat of his Buick. He looked back at me, smiled, honked twice, and slowly drove away into the night.

I went inside and shut the door behind me, slowly sliding down to the floor. I grinned up at the sky. I didn’t know how I couldn’t sleep when Vinny was going to be running through my mind for the rest of eternity.