#i was in the hospital for 5 years
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Devin told me about stimboards!
#chainsmoker dale#i hate my son#i hate fairies#ew i hate fairies#join the ginger agenda or die#i was in the hospital for 5 years#those who know#shitpost#dale dimmadome owner of dimmadome global and dimmazon is so hot
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#im lazy as hell#4 boxes in i lost my mind hahaha#megastar#im rewatching g1#ill draw better latee trust me#i just need to learn how to draw#hes supposed to be kissing the gun i uhhhh couldnt portray that so take my word for it#maccadam#transformers#anyways how yall nerds doing? i found my megatron figurine that survived getting ran over by a car. hes on my desk now.#anyways on the topic of g1 WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE TWO????#you ever see some shit like damn i hope you two die together#they give me secondhand cringe. head in hands i cant be near these deranged mfs#5 years ago ppl tried to pressure me away from this ship lmao#megatron#starscream#dawg im being ran through by my workload.#wanna hear another very real problem i have? so im a starscream fan since i was like 7. always a ss fan#and one time when i was a teen my mom accidentally ran over my megatron toy with her car so i begged my parents for a model kit#ss was out of stock for years so i got tc. i bought that for $24 and it was all chill#recently i was thinking i want the entire dumbass squad. all 3. i checked the price#$58??? MINIMUM???? AVG PRICE IS 70???? for HIM???#so what i need yall to do is i need a recs so i can infiltrate hasbro and character assassinate ss so bad the merch price drops back to $30#for the small cost of 20 rec letters i promise to destroy the franchise. how about it? then we can all get merch for better prices. cool!#or we can start a gofund me and raise millions so i can become an investor and tell them to lower prices from outside the club#maybe i should email the board. some shit like hey i was planning on having kids but i cant if the toys cost as much as the hospital bill#can you lower the prices so i can buy my future kids toys so i can indoctrinate them like my dad indoctrinated me to become a lifelong fan#sincerely. two generations of TF fans (your franchise isnt that old yet and i hope my kids can afford to be the third gen)
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yokai watch (2013) + a totally legit picture of your heart
#nocturne hospital still freaks me out btw#it’s been like. nearly a year since i first played yw1 and i’m still not over it#yokai watch#level 5#nintendo 3ds#3ds#2013#2010s#shantien uploads
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There’s an hoa neighborhood down the road from me (it wasn’t there when I lived here as a kid, truly a weird place to put an hoa too..) and they have a large field for the hoa members to use that I have only ever seen in use once. I bet it’d be a good place to bring juniper and a herding ball.
#living in your childhood home as an adult is weird#the road down the street from me is now paved - there’s a brand new house built on the corner#I’ve been in it - the door knobs are installed crooked#a lot on my road that had been abandoned since I was a child had a house built on it 5 or so years ago#they’re outsiders in their neighborhood - loud and always blowing their leafs blowers#the potholes on the road and driveway are the same no matter how many times they’re filled in#the neighbors dog that put people in the hospital when I was a child only died a few years ago#he mellowed out in old age#the neighbor next to me is raising the son of one of their kids - I went to school with him most likely
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I'm just trying to make a timeline of Paradise Of Thorns for myself feel free to correct me if it sounds wrong. (Spoilers for the movie)
According to google it takes approximately 3-5 months to grow durian to ripe from when they first bloom, So the movie takes place roughly over 5 months if we go for the longest time.
Thongkam is a monk for about a month (again i just googled how long temple duties take and it said a month).
At the start when asked how long until the durians are ready to sell Thongkam says 4 months, so its been 1 month by himself before they move in.
And then I think when he gets back from being a monk, that's probably close to 4 months being done (he goes to do it 4 months in? based off 1 month by himself, 3 hospital visits )
Mae Saengs hospital visits are once a month, we only see 2, once at the start, and once when Thongkam buys her the wheelchair, but there is a third we don't see where Thongkam goes to sell the produce and tells them they have to take a taxi.
I think Jingna shows up around halfway through the second month.
The time between Sek and Thongkam finding their first durian bloom, getting married, Sek dying, and Seks funeral is unclear to me. I did think they got married, paid off the debt and Sek dying happened in a day but i think it'd make more sense to be like a week. (I thought a day cause Sek asks to marry and its like sunrise, then it cuts to them going to pay the debt, which i assume was already mostly paid off if they could do it this quickly, so like i assume Thongkam insisted on paying it that day instead of whenever he was scheduled to pay it, Sek leaves to do things, then comes back that night. But after trying to time line it i think a week or two sounds more realistic?)
So sometime within the first month all that happens, and then I've just been using the hospital visits to try and count how long each section takes.
-1 month alone/with sek -3 months with Mae Saeng, Mo and Jingna -1 month away at temple -1 month with Jingna (the durians arent fully done when he gets back so I'm adding 1 more month even though thats over 5)
I think Mo's wedding, and the rest of the ending all takes place on the same day/night. Also Sek / Thongkam been together 5+ years
Mo / Sek been together 20 years (?)
(Mo wanted to leave to work in bangkok 10 years ago but Sek convinced her to stay, so Thongkam/ Sek could be together more than 5 years as thats only how long hes been paying the debt?)
#tpot spoilers#tpot#the paradise of thorns#i think this works? but also i am really bad at telling how much time passes in movies which is why im trying to make my own timeline#like i know the hospital visits wont be the first of each month and the durians can vary its not a hard deadline on when they will be ripe#but i think this is a good basic idea of the time gone#thongkam isnt alone for that entire first month sek would still be alive for some of it i think#unless we are going with it all happened in a day#the 'sek leave to do things' the same day they get their deed and married how about thats also the day he has to take his mum to the hospit#and thats why it wasnt a big thing he left thongkam alone after just getting married and paying off his debt#like thongkams like yeah it makes sense we cant stay together all day he has to take his mum. i will not ask any more questions.#like i know its not what happened but it would make it so much easier#anyway i will probably try again to make it clearer but this is what im going off when i write a fic#i think sek/ thongkam worked together in another orchard before they started dating? i imagine it takes a while to convince someone#to pay off YOUR fathers debt#but also he did fall in love with Jingna and get married in like 4 months so#so im wanna say theyve been dating for maybe 6/7 years? but also thongkam doesnt have a great record so it could be like 4 months of dating#and then 5 years of the durian farm
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i have got to stop smoking 😭 someone oughta curse my mom for encouraging (down right offering) all her kids to become addicts of various sorts. and out of everything ive stopped doing i still cant stop smoking thats whats pissing me off the most!!! sorry. happy new year. ill figure it out
#ask to tag#mmm im really really like... idek a good word for it im just messed up abt it all. but i really gotta do it and for real this time#im mildly allergic to nicotine patches otherwise that would be great. was the only thing that helped me quit for liiike.. 2 weeks#the only time ive quit in the last 4-5 years were times when i was in the hospital or rehab. and then id leave and there was my mother agai#but since i dont have a lot of those factors in my life that made me smoke before it SHOULD be easier this time. right#i just gotta be the one to do it. im better than this#oh my god does taht mean i cant watch tim roth movies anymore. but that is my little faggot <- walking cigarette. who takes it up the ass#ugh. anyway yeah wish me luck i guess -_- fuuuuck#the big thing that always hinders me is i ask myself what the hell will i be without it#hm. ill just have to find that out!
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My mom briefly kinda blamed me for my nephew allegedly getting food poisoning when he got home (because I wasn't browbeaten into babysitting my nephew by my sister) but now we just deduced that my sister is probably lying about the whole thing to manipulate us into feeling bad whenever we put our foot down with her but its also shitty to think my mom firstly blames me for my sister being a shitty mom and not picking up her slack instead of the shitty mom
#sister is probably lying bc this isnt something my nephew would do#she alleges he ate an old lunchable out of the garbage but 1. he always tells us when hes hungry first & he doesnt just go digging#2. he knows food in the garbage = dont eat it bc its bad 3. we regularly have discussions about expired food making you sick so dont eat it#4. when he wants a snack usually he brings it to us first so we can check the expiration date just in case#5. he's 5 and usually isnt the sibling who just puts everything in his mouth. his 3 year old sister is.#my sister always somehow has some kind of an 'emergency' right after we put our foot down & cant/dont babysit#so either we end up forced into taking her kids anyway OR she uses the 'emergency' to make us feel bad#as if to say 'see? bad things happen when you dont agree to babysit. so you should just agree to do it everytime I ask'#and usually threatens us by saying she wants to kill herself. which she did say.#but now after just pulling crocodile tears about her alleged mental health and needing to take her son to the hospital#she just asked a fakily friend to bring her takeout. so much for going to the hospital
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am I crazy or does her hospital bracelet say she was admitted in October 2022
because then that just messes with the already messed up timeline even more
#the phone at the beginning of 5 says it’s September 2021#this says October 2022#I think I could be wrong tho I do notoriously have awful eyesight#and the reporter at the end of 5 says ‘almost 25 years to the day’ since the original.. so 2021#what dumbass looked at this hospital bracelet saying it’s set in 2022 and her birth year is 2002 when she’s a high schooler and thought#yeah looks good#I’m confused#the writers are confused#even my mom watched and was confused about the timeline#we’re all confused#tara carpenter#scream
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the progression of events in this arc is so so good and great and i love how you can just clearly see where and how each characters thoughts begin and progress throughout each chapter as it goes on. while steven was probably set in stone about his view on how to handle the situation i earnestly believe zed and zapp set out to disobey steven's request. and then they make it very easy to understand leo's point of view and why hes doing what he is - its why they show us that flashback and don't tell anyone else, and why he speaks very little after zapp threatens him - and then immediately cuts to klaus, who knows absolutely nothing about the situation currently but he can figure it out just by looking at whats in front of him. and because klaus is so unflinching when it comes to upholding what he believes is morally right he does so without anyone needing to tell him whats going on. he sees this percieved 'monster' protecting someone else and immediately goes to protect it, too. and even though a lot of them disagreed with each other at the beginning there is still the scene afterwards where they all come together to try and catch each other when they begin falling. i think nightow should pay me for what its done to my mental health
#.text#kekkai sensen#sorry this arc made me normal.#i love that panel with zed even if i cant stop laughing. hes a skater boy. SOOO funny#ddo you get it#not about skater boy zed about the other more dire thing happening in this post. FORGET about skater boy zed#im being miserable again. oh my god. kekkai sensen#i know nightow just loves to leave things as is like after it ends it ends but i wished i couldve seen the aftermath#like. what steven was thinking. what zapp and zed were thinking. klaus also he was like in prison for most of that#SOOO funny that he like. gets arrested at random unfairly. everything is pretty much fine. and then when he gets out#the city is on fire two of his coworkers are in the hospital chain is nowhere to be seen the prison has exploded#there are vampires on the loose femt is there for some reason and there is a 10 million dollar bounty on leo's head#klaus leaves for FIVE MINUTES and THIS happens#dude doesnt even like stop to think about it he immediately turns around and go. hummer. throw me as far as you can.#and then they did.#amazing. this is the best manga ever.#wow ive gotten off topic sorry. anyway#i added that giant paragraph of text after all of these tags sorry guys i know im annoying and saying things that were probably#said 5 years ago but um. im late to the party. and i dont know how to shut up. so you have to deal with it#also i included the panel with neji and riel because i think it says so much. that theyre the ones saying this.#neji doesnt even remember leo almost getting his head bashed in just in the off chance that it could save his life and still he Knows#like they know more than anyone probably how leo sacrifices everything he has for the people around him#and i like that nightow included them in something so important and so defining of his character.#they appear once. twice. so little. but theyre integral to how hes percieved by others and by us.#anyway. kkss is good.#this post happened because i'm trying to draw and needed references but my kkss folder is 900+ images#and i got distracted by these pages in there#because i couldnt resist rereading them#if i could add more than 10 images id also add the like 3 pages of them falling and trying to catch each other at the end#but. alas. woah i ran out of tags bye everyone. thanks or sorry if you read all of this
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Hello friends! Just a quick kh4f programming note: I'll be out of commission for most of, if not all of today, as I'm having a minor medical procedure done. (Outpatient, everything's fine, dw! 🫶🏻) So if anything notable happens (fully expecting Ash to announce ai2 the second I'm sedated 😌) and I'm MIA... that's why lol. Try not to have too much fun without me! 😘💙
#i overslept the day Superbloom was announced so it would only be right for Ashton to announce his next album while I'm anesthetized 😂#i almost hope he does that'd be so perfect lmao#what other chaos might happen#if he randomly goes live - someone record it for me#if he randomly announces a concert and tickets go on sale in 5 minutes - someone buy me a ticket#if he finally reveals the back tattoo i've been begging for for the past 5 years -#someone call my doctor and ask her to put me under for longer bc I'm not ready for that#do u like how this entire scenario only involves Ashton content#if one of his friends posts something that'll be a fun treat for me to wake up to 😌#but if it's Luke being slutty someone warn me bc I might want to stay on hospital property to consume that in my weakened state#fr tho i'm fine don't worry i'm just having some testing done no big deal#well a big deal to me bc i have ✨trauma✨ from this particular test when i had it done in the past 😜#but we're being Brave and doing it anyways ✌🏻#and then if i feel better later i can come online afterwards and say anything i want and blame it on the dr*gs so really it's all a win 🤡#ok that's enough silliness love u ttyl 💙💙#personal
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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal
#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept#i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them#if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens#i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it#i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut#it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair#my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking#if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back#if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off#ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal#but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends#i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens#and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too#since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out#i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now#now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that#i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill#in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it#my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes#sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested#i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore#i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world
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saw a starfish on the beach today & was absolutely ENAMOURED - literally 3 of us were just squatting over this tide pool watching him move

#stream#omg i just remembered i was the last 1 to change / shower & i had just walked back from the cold ass shower thing to rinse off the salt &#punya came over & he was like ‘brother …’ & i was like what ? & he went 😏🫴#& i asked what do u want me to give u ?? ‘a cigarette u motherfucker’ ‘u know what i would love 1 TOO bitch but GUESS who smoked them ALL b#it WASNT ME !!!’ 😭😭😭😭 AKSJAKSKAKSKKSKSKAKSLSKSL#& NOW I DONT EVEN HAVE A VAPE BC OF THE FREAK BRIT THAT JUST WALKED OFF W IT#i’m still not upset abt it i’m more so just bewildered ? just shocked ? like i didn’t even care to try to get it back i was just like ok ?#i’m still shocked by it bc it’s just so#COMICAL ? LIKE ??? 😭😭😭😭 did neither of us speak english like 2 entirely different messages weren’t sent#LIKE ITS NOT A DISPOSABLE THIS IS A RECHARGABLE REFILLABLE VAPE#it was just 20£ & getting 2 disposables are also 20£ from the off license & i used literally like 80 ? 100ml ? in it ? so saved money#regardless but i did buy a pack of pods but 1 of the 3 that i used didn’t end up working & that was the third on it excluding the original#battery & those are 10£/pack so 30£ overall for what would equivalently be like idk probably around 10 of those 5k off license vapes which#would yea be 120quid so including the price of the vials themselves it’s 3-for-10£ used 5#so that’s 50£ bs 120£ even w the cost of a new device say + 30 that’s still only 3/4 of the price of what it would be using dispos which ar#cheaper than cigarettes REGARLESS#even the 30/120 that’s still u know literally a quarter of the cost it’s just a bigger upfront cost but it’s significantly cheaper long ter#STILL SAVING MONEY …. i say as if addiction isn’t inherently a waste of money but u see to that argument i budget it like food bc that’s ho#addiction works it’s just going to continue & ur going to include it in the budget as if it’s a PHYSICAL NECESSITY TO LIVE#to be fair sometimes it is lol like bro i couldn’t stop drinking w/o being in a hospital bc alcohol withdrawls can literally kill u#like my blood pressure was over 180 at 1 point when i was detoxing in hospital 😭😭😭😭😭#SCREAM#anyway#forget that#happy new year 2024.5 😍😍😍#my new year starts now fuck u the first half was just warm up#could i stop smoking if i wanted to ? yes ! will i ? absolutely fucking not !#IM ALLOWED THIS AS A TREAT#THAT I INHALE LIKE OXYGEN: CONSTANTLY
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Not doing good right now, and probably for a long time, production rate is going to slow down for the cutie pox chronics, I can't keep making comics as large as they are and posting them within a week of starting it. It's not over just assume you're not going to get regular weekly ish updates
#salad says!#personal past this:#my girlfriend is 5 years broke up with me without any warning or any explanation#and she blocked me and unfollowed me everywhere and I haven't been able to ask why or hear from her#I've been struggling with my mental health recently within the past couple weeks and I've been spiraling really badly#and without her it's getting worse#I've been to the ER once since the past week and I've been to the hospital its self twice#I haven't had the motivation to trial or work on anything because she was my muse and my motivation to keep moving forward#I know it's sad and stupid but I just have not been doing well#if I didn't have a job and things to take care of I probably would have checked myself into a mental health facility#im doing bad
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🙃🙃🙃
#caught covid from my sister's boyfriend#he just had a bit of a runny nose and a headache#and he is fine now#ive got a 39° fever and im feeling lightheaded even when im laying down#so weird that i spent 5 months at the hospital and i was for a minimum of 2 hours in buses everyday and didnt get sick once#and now i just visited my sister and i got covid#oh well#i managed to avoid it for nearly 5 years#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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