#i was gonna show you at some point anyway | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lovelytayforce · 4 minutes ago

Text

I agree with this comment here so hard, I remember getting blasted for calling readers who don't comment "leeches" on R/Fanfiction and I'm glad people are seeing that for what it is even if it's four years late

So, I'm gonna share my own little story here because discord has actively ruined communities for fanfic (and art too I'm not gonna leave y'all out cause my bestie @zoetiger-1106 is an artist who deserves way more praise than she gets!!) The reason why authors and myself see the "I'm shy" shit as an excuse is because the same people will type long ass tirades on Discord without a single thought. YOU CAN EDIT AO3 COMMENTS PEOPLE! If you make a mistake, read it back over and edit it. I've watched it happen in real-time with one of my favorite commenters on my one-shot where they left a short gushing comment and then came back and wrote more, you have no excuse much less reason to go "Man fandom keeps telling me to not critique and I might make a mistake so I will say nothing and consume like the average TV and Streaming consumer who thinks there doing something!" YOU have a lot of power with comments and even those bookmark tags hell just copy-paste what you put into those bookmark tags as a comment I DON'T CARE AT THIS POINT USE THAT LIL BOX TO VOICE SOMETHING!!!! God this is all over the place idc but I read back at those bookmarks, and saw people call my works the best and super cool and I APPRECIATE THAT but tell me! Stop taking the easy route, I been blasted for misunderstandings over comments multiple times cause people take my "tone" terribly cause it sucks being black and emotive online yay and for some reason people think !!!! Is bad? yes, I've been hit with that but I keep on trucking cause fuck whatever some weirdo thinks about exclamation points! Anyways back to discord and why I hate it now, I was in a small fandom, KFP got invited to a discord cause ONE person commented on my works and saw they talked about my fic, and at first, I was happy and people TALKED about my chapters at length in the fanfic channel. I basically was the ONLY ONE posting consistently in that channel and it was great but also I wanted that on my fic to show I improved so guess what I did? I went all in trying to one-up myself to be noticed, to have the acclaim my peers did so it would evolve outside of discord channels but it never happened. And Imma tell y'all now; it never will. Readers prefer convenience over your hard work, they are not gonna take time for you no matter how much you improve. People told me over and over while I looked for solutions for this; "We can't make commenting look like an obligation." "Add more prose, space these paragraphs better" all this just for no one to take the initiative and say something SINCERE towards a work they love on it. I've had to tell my own ex-friends now to go leave comments on works they called Masterpieces while ignoring me. Despite the fact they wanted Gen content in which I WROTE. Or met people who have very weird "I don't review" rules for themselves despite getting motivated by reviews themselves!! We're in a shitty time for creatives much less community cause we don't see each other as humans much less want to treat each others as we desire to be treated. Fanfic readers want to treat authors like showrunners and I hate it. But then your peers will tell you 'not to worry about engagement" and no I am because why is my hit count going up every day but ain't no one saying shit? Make it make sense!! I sat in that community commenting as much as I could, especially on long fics; it wasn't all perfect but I TRIED. I didn't expect shit back but hey it would have been nice but it never happened and again I learned; it never would. That's the real issue, no one wants to give no more; just take and take and take til you're sucked dry of passion worse than any corpo out right now. It's why I thankfully switched fandoms. I got ONE consistent commenter and they are better than that ENTIRE SMALL CLOSED COMMUNITY!! So, to any discord reactor for fanfic you better skip on to that message you made and copy and paste it in this box right here and never utter "I'm shy" ever again cause we see you, our friends tell us about you. You are not as anonymous as you think! 🫵🏽

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.

#fanfiction #fanfic #god I hate talking about that ol fandom shit #i sound like a vet whose seen some shit #but im sick of other writers and readers downplaying how we feel #taylor talks

15K notes · View notes

buds-and-baubles · 22 hours ago

Text

(agent grayson 2014-2016 issue #1)

i felt like this panel was a good way to show how reading this made me feel.

before i get to what i feel about how it treated midnighter, i just want to say.. i am so sorry to dick grayson and helena bertinelli for being in this comic series. i'm sorry for the spyral plot. i didn't do it but somebody gotta apologize to those two.

as for midnighter? a very long array of me going like 'he would not fucking say that' which i'll explain below. also i didn't miss the chin spike at all and where is my favorite freak's smile when he fights? they made him grumpy.

it feels like some of the dialogue gets close to understanding how he is, but just tacks on pieces he wouldn't actually say. i'll provide an example that ties into another point of why he wouldn't say a particular word for what he said;

original text bubble: "not bad, boy. i can read the electrical activity inside that pretty head. no superpowers. no meatware. but you found me anyway."

how i would've written what midnighter said: "i can read the electrical activity inside your head. no superpowers, no meatware, but you found me anyway. not bad, kid."

see to me, that sounds more like how midnighter talks. he typically prefaces things with statements.

example from the authority (1999-2002) issue #2 with one of his most famous text bubbles: "i know what moves you're preparing to make. i've fought our fight already, in my head, in a million different ways. i can hit you without you even seeing me."

as for calling his head pretty? no. he wouldn't do that. i'll be repeating this as i read this series but he would not flirt or sexualize dick grayson. he never has done that to others before the new 52 from everything i've read up to (i am finishing the worldstorm arc) because it is strictly against his character. he isn't the sort to do that to another man. you want an example of why i say that?

here's a line paraphrased (because fuck ennis and his homophobia) from midnighter (2006-2008) issue #5 that helps support it: "what it means is that i'm only interested in men. one man in particular."

he's talking about apollo. his husband, his sun god, his other half. he's the only man for him and he's an utter sap about it! everytime he sees him he gives him a compliment. he's so in love it makes me so happy to the point i get nauseous in a good way.

so to all the dick grayson fans who've read agent grayson and hate it for dick's sexualization, i just wanted to let y'all know that midnighter wouldn't be doing that to him. in fact, he'd let him know he doesn't deserve it or have to take it for the sake of the job. body talk by kermit_coded on ao3 (ily friend) approaches it exactly how i would've.

so all in all, he wouldn't flirt with dick or sexualize him in any way, and he'd say less of the goofy lines he said in this. not that he can't be goofy, but it's a more.. violent goofy i guess.

so why would midnighter be there following my idea not tying to the garden or anything? well, midnighter hunting down random shit like people put under surgery to become meta bio-weapons still feels up his alley. considering him and apollo did something similar back in their first ever comic appearance in stormwatch vol 2.

where's apollo then? well, he was following up on a lead about other possible meta bio-weapons on his own and then he and m were gonna go out to dinner with jenny q. to celebrate. sadly, the fates (dick grayson) had him get hit with a laser that shot him away team rocket style. now he's gonna miss dinner with his family.

#dc #dc comics #wildstorm #the authority #midnighter #dick grayson #nightwing #agent grayson #buds.txt #hopefully tagging this with agent grayson gets the reach i want.#i love dick grayson's character and i just want people to know midnighter ain't like that. he got treated like shit in this series too.#btw angie heard how it went and got footage of mid flying and after laughing so hard she cried she saved the footage.#of course she left a message asking if he's alright. and now has that footage on the carrier so everyone can watch it.

28 notes · View notes

hlficlibrary · 2 days ago

Note

hello, can you recommend some stories where they are co workers and hide their relationship from their colleagues. Thank you

Hello, anon! You're very welcome! Here are some fics that fit what you're looking for...

Have Love, Will Travel by @kingsofeverything

Rather than spend the summer working at their desks, Louis and Harry are given the opportunity to crisscross the country together in a tiny camper, filming their adventures for a YouTube series.

It soon becomes obvious to their viewers that there’s something more than friendship between them. Eventually, they figure it out.

Caught In Your Gravity by @lululawrence

It felt like the blood froze in Harry’s veins even as he got a bit lightheaded. He hadn’t even made it two practices, only one of which he was remotely in charge of, without giving it all away and now he and Liam were both absolutely fucked.

“Shit,” Harry breathed out. “Who all have you told? Does everyone know? I thought I covered it better than that…”

“No, no,” Louis said quickly. "They’ll figure it out soon enough, though, because they’ll get used to you changing things up, but you’re only going to trip over your so called Americanisms for so long before they realize it’s because you don’t actually know fuck all about football.”

Harry sighed. “Yeah. I figured. I just need to bullshit for long enough to allow Liam to get the situation figured out from his end.”

“Right, which brings me to my entire point. I think we can find a mutually beneficial arrangement with all of this.” Louis leaned forward. “You need to learn the ins and outs of the sport incredibly fast. I can help you with that.”

“What do you want in exchange?”

Or, an AU inspired by a 30 second trailer of Ted Lasso that doesn't actually have much in common with the show at all.

The Boys of Summer by @afirethatcannotdie

“I mean…we’re gonna have to sneak around anyway, yeah? Like, with that whole rules thing that I guess we’ve decided to ignore. Might make it a little more fun this way.”

AU. In which Louis is a reluctant sports coach, Harry's a fellow counselor who wears tiny yellow shorts, and camp rules say they're forbidden to date.

#ask #anon #ficrec #minificrecs #coworkers #secretrelationship #afirethatcannotdie #lululawrence #kingsofeverything

26 notes · View notes

rafyki · 2 days ago

Text

Episode 11 really showed Jack's growth

Okay, I know what you're gonna say: "but he lashed out at Joke! He threw him away again! He got so angry!". And like- yes he lashed out, yes he didn't stop to think, yes he got extremely angry. But that literally happened in the first ten minutes of the episode, alright? There's more than a hour after that, so please let's focus on everything else that happened too, and the fact that Jack acting like that literally only lasts for a short while (as I already said, everything happens extremely fast in this episode, if you really think about it he only stays made for less than a day, which is a perfectly valid period of time to need to sort through complicated feelings - hell, it's an incredibly short time, Jack got over himself extremely quickly).

Anyway, lemme go in order, because I'm not just talking about his relationship with Joke here, but about everything else too.

There are two main things about Jack's character arc (well, more than two, but I wanna focus on these ones now): first, his tendency to hold grudges and be hard on forgiveness and, second, the fact that he never stands up to power and powerful people in an active way (I'll explain better what I mean later).

As for the first, I made a whole other post about it, so I'm not gonna repeat everything again, but let's see how in this episode he got to the end of his growth in this aspect.

He's extremely mad at the start of the episode (rightfully so), so much that he goes on a rampage (we love to see it, tbh), even though he should know that it wouldn't end well.

When he wakes up, he's still mad - of course he is, he didn't have time to think and process everything yet, given that he was beaten unconscious until now. He gets mad at Grandma when she mentions Joke, and then he lashes out at Save and Hope. It's understandable.

But then? Then it only takes Hope saying this for him to calm down and put things into perspective

I think it's important to point out that here it's only been maybe a few hours since the hospital scene. And here, Jack finally has time to think.

This it when he finally stops and thinks and realizes that he was wrong, that he didn't have any right to be mad at Save or Hope (or, well, he does, but how should also be able to understand their positions, because he's been there too), because they're all in the same situation in the end; and he realizes that Joke only did what he did for him. This is the moment when he finally has time to think and realize he was wrong (both about Save and about Joke), realize that he doesn't want to lose Joke, that he misses him.

Let's not forget that the start of Jack's character growth was to learn to forgive. And here, he shows that he's finally able to do this.

He works together with Save and Hope, he trusts them. Why didn't he call Joke to join them then? Well, I think he probably wanted things to calm down first so that after that he would have the time to actually talk to Joke. He didn't have the time to do that in the end, and that's the tragic thing.

But we know that's what he planned to do, because that's exaclty what he says.

Anyway, let's move on or this will become way too long lmao

It's not only in terms of learning to forgive that Jack grew. It's also in the way he finally decides to actively act to oppose Boss.

I mean, Jack was caught in Boss' web of power since he was young, and he's had to deal with the fact that he couldn't escape it, couldn't defeat it, for years. And so, he always submitted to Boss, in a way.

Yes, when he was a debt collector he went against him, in secret (and sacrificing himself and his own money), until Boss found out and Jack had to bow his head againt before him. When Gradma was in the hospital, he let himself in Boss' grasp again and even when Joke and Grandma slapped some sense into him his way to oppose Boss was to simply tell him he didn't want to marry Rose anymore, but was still willing to work for him; now, we know that that only worked because Joke had stolen the ring. What would have happened if Joke hadn't done that? Boss would have refused, of course, and Jack would have had bowed his head again.

Until now, Jack's actions were often passive, a result of him having no choice. Even when he played the ladder game against Lompran, that wasn't a real choice.

Not now, though. In this episode, Jack finally realizes that he can't keep doing it, that he needs to fight back for real. And this is the first time that Jack realizes that he can't always do the morally correct thing if he wants to defeat people like Boss.

Jack has always had really solid morals, and he's always lived by the fact that he needs to be better - better than the corrupted people in power who use them and look down on them. And that means he can't accept theft as a valid way to fix things, even if it would be justifiable and it would make things easier. But he can't do that, because that would mean that he's just as bad as them. Poor people are always expected to do the right thing.

Until now. Because now Jack has finally realized that he can't play it fair against people like them, he understood how that world works, and he realized that he needs to play following their game's rules.

He's learned the power game's rules and he's ready to play.

And that's what he does. He's able to take advantage of Lompran's greed and use it for his own ends, and he's not afraid of risking his own or Save's life - because he knows at this point that they can't play it safe anymore.

He played the game but he also kept his morals, because he still didn't do it for himself; he played their game but he's still better than them

Jack has mostly been a passive force until now, but in this episode he's finally the active force - he's the one with the plan, the one who takes the lead. (Joke, on the other had, has always been the active force of the show, and in this episode he's the passive one, but I'll make another post about this another day)

And I think this will be obvious in next episode too, when he'll (finally!) get a gun and do everything that's needed to save Joke and everyone else from Boss.

And he finally understood that the world isn't black and white and that sometime you need to do something "bad" to fight back, both for youself and for others. And that that doesn't mean you're a bad person.

#jack and joker #jack and joker the series #jack and joker: u steal my heart #jack & joker #jack & joker: u steal my heart!#honestly thank you if you really read all of this btw lmao i know its way too long #my posts #this is extremely long im sorry lmao #but ive been thinking about it #this is the first time that jack takes the lead and actually opposes boss in such an active way #without sacrificng himself #did you know that i love jack so much? if it wasnt obvious already #anyway you can expect another post like this but about joke #i havent talked enough about him bc i was too busy defending jack lol

24 notes · View notes

leoruby-draws · 14 hours ago

Text

I did a whole bunch of drawings for Jason's team two weeks back, so now its time to concentrate on Steph's team! Here we've got 4 new characters for her team, with a couple extra tomorrow as well. Lets go into to them, one by one.

First up is the lantern for the group, more specifically a Violet Lantern apprentice aka Miri Riam! Her reasons for coming to earth is unknown at the moment but they seem to have some connection to Carol Ferris. Carol's also a Violet Lantern and Hal's(Green Lantern) on-and-off girlfriend and occasional antagonist. Perhaps Miri was sent to become Carol's apprentice? I've got more info on whats happening there, but thats for later.

As for why Miri was chosen for the group, I knew I wanted some kind of Lantern for the team, but couldn't find a green lantern that was both in Steph's age group and have fun interactions with them. But then I thought, does it have to be a green lantern? I had a red lantern for Jason's group after all. I looked around and found Miri! I don't know her exact age but I knew she was a young adult, so I'm just gonna have her be around Steph's age group.

The Violet Lanterns Corps are very ...enthusiastic about the power of love and Miri's no exception. She wants everyone to know the joy of Love, she's honestly kinda annoying about it. I remember this one GL issue where she was destroying a city just to get Kyle and Soranik to resolve their love troubles. That pretty much became the basis for how I'm writing Miri's personality. Like I said above, I'll get more into Miri at a later time.

Next is Maxine Hunkel aka Cyclone, granddaughter of Ma Hunkel aka the golden age Red Tornado! I already posted a drawing of her a while back, I thought she'd make a fun fit for the team. She's has such high energy and so much enthusiasm I couldn't help but find her utterly endearing. I think at a later point she'll end up joining the JSA but for now she's just having fun with this team.

Btw I thought that maybe her grandmother, Ma Hunkel, could fit a similar role that the other Red Tornado did for Young Justice, helping out a young hero team. Just a way to emphasize how Steph and Tim's teams can serve as foils to each other.

Next up is the archer of the group, Mia Dearden aka Speedy II. Tho she should probably have a different name due to Roy still being Speedy atm. Maybe Speedette? Ehhh, gotta workshop that.

Anyways here's Mia and Steph meeting as civilians, with Mia showing off her bow. Mia seems to be in some sort of school uniform, perhaps Oliver is sponsoring her to go to a fancy academy? Her backstory is similar to canon, with Oliver saving her from bad people. I'm not sure if her story should be exactly the same as canon, since Mia is 10 but terrible things like that do happen in real life to young children. But I don't know if a goofy au like mine is the best place to show that. But for now lets just say Mia is currently trying to heal and become a hero like Green Arrow.

I imagine Steph and Mia get along really well, they just get each other in a lot of ways. Steph can see Mia might be hurting inside and wants to cheer her up, hopefully with all of Mia's new friends she can.

Last up is Jaime Reyes aka Blue Beetle III. Unfortunately I haven't drawn him all that much so no individual drawing for him, tho I do like him.

As for why Jaime, I remember liking him in the YJ cartoon and found him pretty likeable in the comics as well. But I've always like the spiderman hero archetype anyways, which Jaime fits really well (I mean, it was done on purpose). Static and Sideways also fit the archetype and are in the team as well. Arguably you can say add Steph to this too, probably more than Tim in my personal opinion.

Another reason I wanted to add Jaime is that he and Steph almost became teammates in canon, in a failed Young Justice project. What could have been huh. Third reason is more silly tho, if Barbara and Ted Kord start to date in this au, imagine how grossed out Steph and Jaime will be lmao.

So there's four new teammates for the team, but! I've got a couple extra for tomorrow! And later on I hope to finally post some more doodles of these characters (some of them are real old, more than a year old). Especially Miri, she turned out to be such a fun character, and I've always liked the all the lantern corps. Here's a bonus doodle of them btw (with bonus unmasked Sideways):

So many new members, well, hope you liked all that!

#DC Comics #Stephanie Brown #Jackson Hyde #Kara Zor El #M'gann M'orzz #Miri Riam #Maxine Hunkel #Jaime Reyes #Mia Dearden #Carol Ferris #Derek James #my art #Training Wheels au

23 notes · View notes

toptophat · 15 hours ago

Text

FORK YEAH!!! 2.7 LIVESTREAM!!!

Sadly no Boothill, but we have been eating well in the past two updates so it's fair!

Anyways....

They tried to be very subtle about it, but we kinda already guessed that Sunday would join the express, honestly I'd be glad to have him on both the express team and my team (those floaty light things are gonna be on my side now MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!) don't worry buddy, we'll take good care of you!!

Welcome back Miss Tingyun (or Fugue) glad to see you "snapped" back into action! But I wanna know, wtf is she doing here on the train??? I'm definitely excited to know!

HERTA!!! I wonder, what could be so important that she'd have to get involved in person?

Also AMPHOREUS!!!! I know Penacony was peak and all but I'm a sucker for ancient greece stuff so this is gonna be peak to me!! (Do you think Dr Ratio has some connection to this planet?)

Imagine if le Argenti just shows up out of nowhere on this planet not even Akivili went to? Who am I kidding, he's mr worldwide of course he's gonna be there!!

Ooooh

Ahhhh (there had to be a cat girl at some point, didn't there? 😂)

AHHHHHH!!! SHE'S GORGEOUS!!! I'D PULL FOR HER IF I HAD ENOUGH TICKETS 😭😭😭

maybe for the rerun 🥲

I don't know why I thought The Herta was gonna be an old lady (that would've been sick af honestly! But I think I vibe with this goddess 😍)

Ok, I had a blast with 2.6! My goats got their overdue spotlight, it's my new favourite quest, completed the side quests and have more than enough for Sunday and hopefully a certain lightcone when the time comes! (Or maybe I'd have more than enough if I win Sunday's 50/50?) In fact the 2.X journey in general was just amazing!!! But now that's all gone and done with... GIMME THAT 2.7!!! I NEED THAT CHICKEN BOI AND I NEED 3.X IMMEDIATELY TOO!!! So long Penacony, Next stop Amphoreus!!!

It's gonna be a wild ride for sure! One that hopefully, my tablet can handle until I get to university!!

Oh yeah, redeem codes!! DSJKDYQF82J3 MTJ2CG9XRK2F and UAJJDY9E8JJT

#hsr 2.7 #hsr sunday #sunday honkai star rail #hsr fugue #fugue honkai star rail #hsr herta #herta honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail #amphoreus hsr #top hat rambles on and on and

16 notes · View notes

moochi-daisies · 1 day ago

Text

2015.03.

- 18+ Minors DNI

- Warnings: Some cussing?, a little kissy reunion, brief mention of sexting but no details or NSFW content, tensions are high

- Length: 5.3k words

- Sidenotes: i'm gonna finish the damn thing! for myself if anything, i do love this story and it's probably a good thing that it makes me feel things. as always, thank you for reading if you do :)

Find the rest here!

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Excited to see you."

The message from Yoongi had shown up on my phone minutes ago and I found myself unable to stop staring at it.

It was the day the guy's were moving, and I was on FaceTime with Jungkook. Jimin, Tae and Jungkook were in one car together. Hobi, Namjoon, Lacey and Yoongi in another (they finally had another car with Lacey being there).

"Baaaby." Jungkook called out and I snapped out of my trance. Noticing the frown in the small square my face was in.

"Yes! Sorry, I was-" I started to explain before Jungkook cut me off.

"Thinking. Yeah, you do that a lot." He snickered, "What about?"

No point in hiding it, was there?

"Ooh, um, Yoongi just texted that he's excited to see me." I had my eyes glued to Jungkook's face, fear of his reaction taking precedence over my own feelings. Wiping me into a blank slate.

A hush fell over the car before Jungkook sat up in the backseat, raking his fingers through his hair.

"Hm. Well I'm glad he's not bein' weird." He muttered huskily, looking down as he said it.

I hurriedly tried to comfort him;

"Yeah me too."

"It'd be hella awkward if he was still mad."

"I'm glad he seems to be accepting of you and me."

Jungkook perked up at the last part, grinning like a goof and shifting his gaze from the floor to look at me again. There was almost a sigh of relief when he spoke, "Yeah, I'm glad he is too."

Jungkook turned his phone towards Tae, who was craning his neck to look at me, turning from his passenger side seat.

"Yeah, you two love-birds are kinda hard to ignore darling. Yoongi would have to work too hard to not be cool with it." The words were uncomfortable, the feelings they left stuck in my throat and filled it with lumps. He shot me an unsure boxy smile before reaching for the phone to show me Jimin.

Jimin had his hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel, his eyes were wide with lips puckered into a duck pout while he focused on driving.

He swiveled his head briefly to glance at me before turning back to the road, "It is what it is either way. He's gotta accept that he chose Lacey. And anyways, what's more exciting is that... WE WILL ALL BE TOGETHER AGAIN!" He paused for emphasis before yelling out the last part. His head tilted up briefly during his exclamation before snapping back down to stare at the road with giant eyes and a terrified look.

"TOGETHER AGAIN!" Tae, Jungkook and I repeated the phrase with giant smiles.

"Somebody take over for Jimin soon please, I hate seeing him so stressed." I giggled.

Jimin didn't turn his head but scowled softly, nodding in agreement.

"I'm not cut out for this."

Jungkook took over driving next, keeping me on the phone as the three of them performed songs from each of their playlists. Jungkook's was all over the map, Jimin's was full of high notes and dance songs while Tae had jazzy lo-fi RnB. I had grown up dancing and knew the most from Jimin's playlist. I tried my best not to screech as I sang along with them.

After telling Jimin why I knew so many of his songs, he asked why I'd stopped dancing. When I told him I still was, Jungkook's head twisted so fast he turned the wheel with him. The guys hollered out "woah's" and I tried to use the distraction of the moment to keep my face from falling. Dance had been the great love of my life along with writing. I'd started when I was 3, but self-consciousness had been driving a wedge between us since I turned 11. It was something I didn't want to get into, at least, not on a video call while they were in the car.

I kept my phone near me as I cleaned my room and got ready to meet them. There were still many hours to go but Yoongi's text was flashing like a check engine light behind my eyes. Sitting in front of my mirror, I swiped a mascara wand through my eyelashes, over, and over and over again. Trying to get each lash perfectly separated.

I had been working at it for at least 45 minutes, using the most minuscule clump as an excuse to keep at it. Blinking and messing up my own work repeatedly.

Yoongi and Jungkook would both be here tonight.

Together.

At the same place.

Together.

I had told Jungkook I'd kiss him in front of Yoongi and I still planned on it. But the feelings of Yoongi being close to me were jumping into memory, as if they had been freshly made. The feelings I'd been convincing myself I was over were now pumping through me with undeniable "there-ness". How my heart would pummel into my stomach. How my skin would buzz with butterfly wings from head to toe. I couldn't get those feelings out of my mind.

What if I kissed Jungkook and Yoongi got angry at me again?

What if he kissed Lacey in front of me and Jungkook saw me get upset?

What if Lacey noticed the weird energy between us and told Jungkook and tried to get him next?

What if I'm a selfish horrible asshole for wanting both of them?

Oh god, I am a selfish, horrible asshole for wanting both aren't I? Yoongi chose another and I did the same, that's something we both have to accept, isn't it? Yoongi isn't mine. He's barely even a friend right now, let alone someone to be considering as -

"You're already pretty, you don't need to do that baby." I heard Jungkook saying and I glanced down at my phone. I'd forgotten he could see me. I couldn't even remember him and Tae switching driving spots.

In an attempt to cover up my tumultuous thoughts, I struck a pose. Twisting one knee over the other and placing a hand behind my head, elbow opening up to the side.

"You think I'm pretty?" I said as coyly as I could, batting my eyelashes at him.

"The prettiest."

His response got groans from Tae and Jimin.

"Save it for when you're together. And alone. In your own room." Jimin griped out.

Jungkook and I snickered to ourselves before blushing.

And with Jimin's words came a nervousness that overrode my thoughts of Yoongi. Or, at least rivaled them.

It had been one thing to call Jungkook all the time, to send some...mature pictures and texts to each other, to jokingly broach the topic of being physical once we were together again.

Remembering the impulsive urges to lick the sweat off his neck, to keep riling him up to feel him press himself up against me, made my heartbeat drop between my legs. As I clenched them together, I was momentarily grateful for the distance.

Jungkook looked at me bashfully, tucking curly black hair behind his ear and biting his lip through his smile.

I wanted to smash my face into his dimple and hold him so tightly that my arms gave out.

"Maybe we could- um, it would be- I'd like to dance with you when we're all set at the studio. Hey! Maybe you could be Jimin's TA too!" The earnest way he spoke had me pressing my nails into one of my thighs. He was so genuinely sweet. And I couldn't understand what it was that he liked about me.

Especially with the bullshit I had going on with Yoongi.

Not once had he ever threatened to leave or forced me to chose or tried to manipulate me away from my own feelings.

He simply stayed and kept being there. Kept showing me that he cared.

An entire flock of doves fluttered their wings inside my chest at his words. Teddy bear brown eyes were perfectly rounded and his mouth was slightly open while he waited for my response. A pink tongue darted out to mess with his lip rings, a nervous habit he could never believe I noticed (he swore he only did it when nobody was paying attention).

"I love you" was dangerously close to the tip of my tongue, which would be insane, so I tried to maintain my flirty demeanor.

"I'd love to dance with ya handsome," I cooed and wiggled my fingers at him, "It'd be so fun to work together, although it might be too distracting..." I felt embarrassed of myself by the end of my sentence. He was offering to work and do something we both love together and there I was, turning it into some-

"Baby look at this." Jungkook sounded excited, and my eyes shot back to the screen.

He was doing an incredible combination of tutting, shimmying and chest popping. All movement should have been limited to his upper body but he slid back and forth across the backseat, making sound effects as he did.

"Pow! Pow!" His opened and closed a fist to mimic a heartbeat as he popped his chest behind it. Finishing with a wink and cheesy grin.

I stood up and burst into applause, shouting encore in a raised whisper to mimic a scream.

"Pretend I can wolf whistle, and that I just wolf whistled." I murmured getting Jungkook's goofy giggle as a response.

"I love you both, but if you were together with me at work I think I might throw up." Jimin piped up.

"They did want another teacher though so...keep it in mind, yeah?"

"She nodded!" Jungkook yelled up to the front seat and I heard a loud smacking sound before Jungkook feigned being in pain.

"Hurry up and get here soon." I pouted at him while he adjusted himself to lay down.

Jungkook looked at me softly before his gaze flickered to something behind the screen. A clouded expression took over his face before saying, "I'll be there soon baby. I'm gonna sleep before my next turn to drive. I'll text you when we're almost there ok?"

I'd been so spoiled by his constant desire to talk to me that him hanging up while still conscious led to a pit growing in my stomach.

I paced around my room for a few minutes, trying to figure out what the reason for it could be until my phone dinged.

"Sorry baby, Yoongi called and Jimin was giving me a look. Miss you already."

I never had to play the "what if" game for long with Jungkook, he always gave me the answer without me even having to ask.

A few hours later, he let me know that they were about 30 minutes away.

Black skinny jeans, combat boots, cropped black lacy top (that did wonders for my boobs if I may say so myself) and leather jacket on - I stumbled out of my front door, down the apartment stairs and into the family car.

There was music playing on the drive, an album by Bombay Bicycle Club on repeat the whole time. But I couldn't tell you anything else about it. The scenery outside of the car was a smeared watercolor painting and for someone who usually gets lost even with a GPS, the way there felt eerily clear despite never seeing it before. The music formed a protective bubble to carry me along, the lyrics delivering a message that I wouldn't understand until much later on.

"There's a story which in my eyes shut,

Could you back me up,

Could you back me up"

The drive took a little over half an hour, the music getting harder to hear as I got closer, the sensation in my stomach growing from a pit into a black hole. By the time I pulled up to park on the street outside of their soon to be house, remembering to breathe had turned manual, the feeling in my legs an electrifying buzz instead of anything solid.

I had beat them there thankfully, so I sat with my car running for a few minutes more. The guitar from Bombay Bicycle Club swirled around my head in ocean waves, the lyrics spiraled through my ears and wrapped up my insides as sentient vines.

"You can rearrange me now,

If we wait we can make it somehow

What you want

Anything you want" - I shut the car off before the next lyrics could begin.

"You tease this love,

You care enough".

Am I just teasing this love? This thing with JK? I do care enough. I care more than enough, these feelings are real, they are, I swear I -

I had sunk so deep into my feelings that I didn't notice a car pulling up behind me until the horn was honked, effectively scaring the crap out of me and making every muscle in my legs clench up. Stepping out of my car felt like trying to stand as a newborn deer, jello limbs fighting to support my weight. The car windows were tinted and the sun had set quickly - turning the ability to identify who was in the car into a guessing game. Was Jungkook's car the one with tinted windows? It was like I had never seen their car before. I hadn't been texting with the other car and had no idea what their ETA was, this was about the time Jungkook should be here right?

Right?

I let hope get the best of me and sucked in air as I walked towards the backseat car door, the one behind the driver's seat. Reached my hand towards the handle and flung the door open with a big, "Hey baby!" and a grin that I hoped looked genuine instead of terrified.

Lacey's confused face greeted me in return before she burst into a snicker.

"Um, hey babe! What a greeting, haha, oh my god, wait - Yoong's I'm stuck, push me out." She turned back to look at Yoongi who was out of my sight in the backseat.

I had frozen as soon as I opened the door. Keeping the grin plastered to my face as if seeing Lacey and Yoongi first wasn't eating a hole in my chest like a ravenous and carnivorous worm.

The front doors of the matte gray car opened, a yawning Namjoon and Hobi exiting from each side. They reached their arms up towards the sky as they stretched, their eyes crinkling with growing smiles as they turned to face me. In an attempt to get away from Lacey and avoid looking at Yoongi, I threw my arms around Namjoon and let out a little squeal.

"You made it safe!" I exclaimed, a sense of relief sliding down to quell the black hole that was threatening to consume me from the inside out. My arms clasped around Namjoon's waist and he wrapped his around my shoulders, the enveloping warmth of the hug rising like a force field around me. His giant chest had the same effect as a weighted blanket the moment I turned my head to press against it. Muscular arms squeezed me back into my body, while one of his thumbs stroked up and down - reassuring and soft. Just like him.

"Thanks for driving out here to welcome us home!" Namjoon spoke the words directly onto the top of my head, his mouth mussing up the top of my hair. Warm breath tingled into my scalp, down my shoulders and spine until I could feel the ground beneath my feet again. Although the grounded feeling didn't last long.

Noises from the backseat reminded me it wasn't time to relax just yet and I directed my eyes to Hobi through the gap under Namjoon's arms.

Hobi had his lanky arms stretched out towards me, beckoning me with his hands and a dimpled closed mouth smile spread across his glowing face. He had on a bucket hat, oversized hoodie and baggy jeans - with patterns that nobody else would have been able to pull off beside him.

Craning my neck, I turned to look up at Namjoon, my cheek squished against his left pec. Giant dimples and the most calming smile greeted me in response, "Go say hey to Hobes - I gotta start getting stuff out of the car." He released me from the hug, reaching one hand up to ruffle my hair before dipping down into the front seat to pop the trunk open.

Lacey had both feet out of the car and my ears were pricked by Yoongi's deep rumble of a voice. With the most intentional of intentions, I directed my gaze towards Hobi and made a beeline over to him - without Namjoon's arms around me, the ability to feel the ground disappeared, making it feel like I was floating until my arms were around Hobi's neck.

Long, slender arms wrapped around my waist and lifted me up - spinning me in a circle while Hobi let out a string of excited sound effects. We both kept giggling and the vibrations of his laugh must have been set to a healing frequency because I've never felt so light while being picked up before.

"The drive was SO long! I can't believe we're here! Tae said they'll be here in a minute. Oh my god, oh my GOD, can you believe this is finally happening??" Hobi set me down in front of him, keeping his hands around my hips as he bounced up and down.

I bounced up and down with him, trying not to press my nails into his shoulders and betray my excitement with the complex emotions lying underneath.

"I know, I know!! You made it! We can hang out again!" I bubbled back.

My brown eyes locked in to his, starting a secret and wordless conversation that went something like:

Hobi: "Are you doing okay girl? I mean, they're right there..."

Me: "Of course I'm not fucking okay! JK isn't here yet and I called Lacey babe! I can't even look at Yoongi!

Hobi: "You're gonna have to soon, and JK is almost here. Lacey is going to play nice in front of everyone don't worry, but don't give her a reason."

Me: "Ok cool thanks, yeah, that is SUPER HELPFUL HOBI!"

Hobi: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You got this! The rest of us are here don't worry!"

That did help with the worry.

At least, until I developed super-hearing as Yoongi got out of the car. Every movement he made, every sound that came from him, was like it was being fed directly into my eardrum through an amplifier. I could hear him breathe, hear the sound his hair made as it fell in front of his face when he looked down to step out of the car.

And I wasn't even looking at him.

Instead, I continued clinging onto Hobi with a vice grip while he patted my hips and gave me encouraging nods.

"1, 2, 3 - you're off!" He whispered as he pulled me in for one last squeeze. Spinning me around to face Lacey and Yoongi as soon as the countdown was over.

My heart was beating so hard, it felt like it was pumping bile back up my throat and onto my tongue. It took a moment for my eyes to focus, or maybe I didn't want them to.

But when they did, Yoongi's long black hair and round face were crystal clear, even in my peripheral vision. His dark brown eyes were laser focused on me, meltingly beautiful and with a sense of determination that didn't match the rest of his body language.

One arm was around Lacey, who stood next to him, fidgeting and with an upset look on her face. His other arm was trying to find a pocket to stuff his phone into. He could've looked down. It would've made it much easier to do if he had looked down, but he didn't. I couldn't tell you how long it was for, but he never stopped looking at me. Moments kept passing, the distance between the curb and the street continuously morphing from too close to too far away.

Why didn't he stop looking at me?

The sound of Jungkook, Jimin and Tae's car snapped us out of the trance we were in. The frown that had taken over Lacey's face dissipated, replaced with a sweet smile and syrupy voice. She turned to Yoongi, tucking hair behind his ear and kissing him on the corner of his mouth with big bambi eyes. Yoongi kept his eyes on the ground, nodding as Lacey spoke to him in a low voice. Her words jumbled together in my ears as I glanced towards the black car and saw the outlines of 3 heads, one moving considerably more than the others.

"Girl! Now that I'm out of the car finally- get over here, we missed you so much!" She waved me over, scanning my face intensely and not once looking over to see Yoongi's reaction.

But I did.

Maybe that was my first mistake. Where it all started. It couldn't be helped though - Closer? To Yoongi? Was that allowed? I hadn't even seen Jungkook yet, wouldn't that be inconsiderate? How could I touch Yoongi first? What would happen? If I touched Yoongi first? He shouldn't be first, he couldn't be. Especially not while he's standing there with someone else, touching someone else - I mean, wait - hang on -

"BABY!" Jungkook's voice bellowed out so loudly, the rest of us visibly flinched before dispersed chuckles from Namjoon, Hobi and I. Behind the driver's seat of the car that had just pulled up, the window had been rolled down - JK's dimples, inky curls and perfect roly-poly nose poked out, an arm waving at me furiously. Everything else faded away as soon as I saw him, the only thing on my mind being to get into his arms as soon as possible. I waved back with a blush before turning to excuse myself from the couple before me.

Lacey had crossed her arms with a scowl and Yoongi had turned to look up at the sky, the neighborhood - anywhere besides at what was going on around him. The space in my heart made for Yoongi pushed back against the rest, trying to expand.

It didn't last long though.

That slight falter in my chest was quickly snuffed out by the literal wind being knocked out of me.

In the moment I had turned to glance at Lacey and Yoongi, Jungkook had exited the car, running towards me at full speed before tackling me to the ground.

A big, strong hand covered the back of my head, palm pressing into skull, as the other pushed into my lower back - pressing me against his body as we fell. If the full weight of my body landing on top of him caused him any trouble, the only way he showed it was a small "ack!" the moment it happened.

Zero recovery time needed.

It felt like less than a second.

And there he was, sitting on the grass by the edge of the curb.

My handsome man. The bunny to my bunny. Mine, all mine. Who I belonged to.

With no thought at all, my legs straddled his lap, hands gliding with their own agenda up his neck so fingers could grip into thick, dark hair. One tattooed arm held me pressed against him like it was life or death if he loosened it at all. The pounding of our hearts thudded ferociously through layers of muscles, fat, skin and clothes - screaming to reach the other. His other hand held onto one of my hips, pressed down to make me sit my full weight on him and even then, I still felt weightless.

Breathless and breathing too hard, we looked at each other. Taking it all in. The feeling of each other's real flesh and blood filling up our senses, attempting to commit it all to memory.

Both of my hands released their grip from his hair to hold the sides of his face.

We were pressed so tightly against each other that I could feel his heartbeat pick up and hear the shakiness in his voice. How it betrayed the conviction of his words as he murmured, "I'm gonna kiss you in front of everyone.".

I leaned in slowly, trying not to notice the way that all of my limbs were trembling.

"Not if I kiss you first." I whispered, breaking my gaze away from the perfect shape of his mouth to look him in the eyes.

Without any hesitation, he lifted his chin to bring his lips to mine, pressing them so decidedly into a kiss that I briefly wondered if I had ever been kissed on purpose before.

My body didn't erupt with butterflies or tingles or that drop in my stomach that I'd learned to associate with desire.

Instead, I felt it opening. Like floodgates, with hunger. Welcoming him in while simultaneously wanting to consume and be consumed by him. Being so aware of where his body touched mine that every place it did felt on fire, and every place it didn't felt deprived of oxygen. Our eyes stayed closed for the most part, focused on taking in the feeling. Whenever they did open, the physical pang of desire almost hurt, banging out like a drum that reverberated through every part of our biochemical make up.

And it wasn't too much for him.

It was mutual.

It was matched.

Encouraged.

Fueled.

We were both the flame and the gasoline. Nobody could stop us, least of all each other.

I completely forgot where we were. Who was around us. That we were sitting on the curb. Or that I hadn't said hi to Jimin, Tae or Yoongi yet.

I don't remember how long we were kissing, if we were full blown making out or if anyone asked us to stop. I do, however, remember making a noise that I had never made before and the groan that came out of Jungkook that made us snap out of our lust-filled daze.

Thwack.

While Jungkook and I were sat there, recuperating and processing - Jimin had walked up and smacked him in the back of the head.

"I cannot wait for you to have your own room guys. For real. What the hell. It's not gonna be the same but come say hi to me lovely." Jimin's voice was playfully masking a command. JK fingers pressed into my hip like a release button and the realization of what we had done after looking at each other sunk in, turning us both beetroot red.

I reached my hand towards Jimin to help pull me up, the bones in my legs not yet solidified. Jungkook sprung up behind me, guiding me by the waist as I stood before mumbling some "um's" and "uh's" and heading to their car. I was too scared to turn and face the others and pulled Jimin into a hug with the best "I missed you so much!" I could muster instead.

Jimin's embrace was gentle. Like being covered with a cedar and honey scented cloud.

"I missed you too lovely. I knew he was gonna jump ya but damn. Have you said hi to everyone yet?" Jimin's voice sang into my ear with the lightest hint of criticism. The sudden awareness of Hobi's glare stung the side of my face and I winced in Jimin's arms. His responsive squeeze giving some comfort that I hadn't ruined their arrival. At least not completely.

Tae's silky voice floated over my head - a lifeline attached to a buoy that I was desperate to grab onto.

"Well, can you blame the poor dear? We've been trapped! Stuck! Relying on modern technology like it's some accommodation for the prison that is distance." The dramatic way Tae spoke broke the tension and laughter burst out of me, spurred on by Jimin's equally dramatic eye roll.

"My darling, I've missed you so. Did my letters find you well?" I drawled out, breaking away from Jimin to make my way to Tae, who promptly collapsed into my arms with the back of one hand pressed against his forehead. After a fit of nervous giggles over nearly dropping him, he stood up and flung his arms around my neck. Pressing kisses against my cheek as he rocked us side to side.

"Some nights your words were the only things keeping me warm, my poetic angel." Tae declared his sentiment with a hand under my chin, his velvet brown eyes soft and sparkling.

"Ahem, help me with the stuff T." Jungkook grumbled as he leaned against the back of the car next to the open trunk. His glare was focused on Tae's hands but melted into a puppy-eyed pout once he caught me noticing. Tae patted me on the cheek then jerked his chin up to acknowledge Yoongi and Lacey. Spinning me around to face them as he walked off to join Jungkook.

Lacey's arms were still crossed, the emotions that made her scowl earlier now thinly veiled with a tight lipped smile. Yoongi on the other hand, looked like he had gotten into three fist fights and told he was getting drafted since I had last looked at him. His hair had become disheveled, a blank look on his face had taken over the determined one and his broad shoulders had sunken down. Like he had been defeated.

Why did he look so defeated?

Standing there with Lacey.

As if he had been hoping- no, that's not right. As if he had been expecting? Something like that.

As if he had been expecting me to be so overwhelmed by seeing him again that I would've stopped anything from occurring with Jungkook. We both chose other people. This is the reality. This is where our actions had led us to. Was he operating under the assumption that things were different? That I was a mess without him? Like this was some Bella and Edward bullshit? Why was this making me so mad?

"Wow boo! I wish this one would greet me like that!" Lacey joked, elbowing Yoongi and breaking her crossed arms stance to walk over to me. I pushed out a laugh and stepped off the curb to come towards her, opening my arms to pull her into a hug. For a quick second, and only a quick second, she buried her face into my shoulder before pulling away. Seeking comfort. From me of all people? It didn't make any sense. At least, not until I noticed a pleading look in her eyes that was both familiar and disorienting. It was one I would grow to understand too well over the next few years.

And I think I knew the reason for that look, even back then. No matter how much I'd like to pretend otherwise. I think I knew as soon as my eyes drifted from her rounded, light hazel-green eyes to Yoongi's feline, nearly black ones.

There was hope in his eyes.

Or maybe it was a reflection of the hope in mine.

Either way.

Something was there.

And the hands he had shoved into his pants pockets couldn't hide the way his arms jerked as I stepped towards him. As if to hug me. As if he wanted me in his arms. As if he knew I wanted the same.

Was it okay to hug him?

In front of Jungkook and Lacey?

In front of everybody?

I didn't think much more about it.

My arms were around him and his were around me in less than a second. Heat blooming from the place where our stomachs touched just like it did before.

He was so real.

So beautifully and painfully, real.

Like physics and atoms and the building blocks of life, this world was made to hold Yoongi just as much as this world would not exist without him.

Fingers twitched against the middle of my back and my own reflexively grabbed at his shirt, bunching it into my grip and getting closer to the warmth of his skin.

Too close.

We both jumped back, simultaneously too aware of the world around us and unable to look at anything besides each other.

I remember saying either out loud, or in my head, "Welcome home Yoongi.". But connecting my thoughts to my mouth was clogged up with sludge. It felt like I didn't need to say anything out loud anyway - he knew. I both loved and hated that he always knew.

Yoongi answered, either out loud or through the vibration connecting us that was nearly singing with electricity. His words echoed in my head and the air around us as our eyes refused to waiver from each other.

"It's good to be home," he said, "I mean, it's good to be home here. With you.".

15 notes · View notes

thevoidstaredback · 1 month ago

Text

It's dark outside, just after dusk when the lamps are still lighting themselves, and the world can't yet decide if it's dark or light.

There's very few people out, some walking dogs that you get to pet, others driving cars that splash in puddles leftover from an earlier rain. None of this bothers you, it never has. The city's always like this; quiet, serine, dull and bright all at once.

You pass by an alleyway, the rhythmic tap-tap-tap of your footsteps sound loud in the space between buildings, echoed from the darkness. You pause

"Pst!" I call out, the dim light from a nearby lamppost glaring off my glasses. I step closer to you, only by a half step. You take a full step away, though you don't run.

I watch the street cautiously, not fully leaving the confines of the alley between skyscrapers. I beckon you over. When you don't come closer, I allow myself another step closer. You don't move.

I open my overcoat, the lavender seeming much darker in the setting. I lock eyes with you. "You wanna know the ending to story I've only told you about once before?"

You shake your head, and keep walking. I slink back into the shadows.

You hesitate for a moment before ultimately agreeing. This time, when I motion you closer, you come.

With another look around, I reach into the inner pocket of my coat. Quickly, I pull out a single piece of folded paper and shove it into your hands. Before you can say anything, I disappear back into the shadows. You look after me, but I am no longer there.

You hold the folded paper in both hands and away from your body, staring at it for a long moment. The edges are burned, and it's crinkled like it's been crumbled into a ball.

Opening the note, you find the ink is completely unmarred, though the handwriting is a bit messy. It reads:

Marco watched the wooden box get lowered into the hole in the ground. Gently, he held the same thing that had brought him and the others back the first time in his fist. As he turned to leave the grieving pirates, he thought about the consequences of his actions. Every time someone goes back, at least one thing is different then it was in the first timeline. A thought struck him. What if he could choose the differences? What if the fate of the brothers played to his plan? Like a game of poker, he could deal the cards. If he played his cards right, then he'd place the winning hand in the end. He could save Ace. He could save Luffy. He could save everyone! He just had to deal the cards. Marco flew off in his phoenix form to a secluded part of the island and recited the same words Luffy had not so long ago. ‘This time,’ he resolved himself as he was engulfed in a bright light, ‘I’ll do it right.’ And then he was gone. End Book One

The paper starts to smolder as you read, turning itself to ashes in your hands by the time you finish. Like sand being scooped by a fork, the ash falls from your hands and is carried off by the winds.

You look for street signs or landmarks, trying to commit this alley to memory. Perhaps, you think, I may be around again to give you more stories, more things to occupy your mind with; to pull you from reality. And, who knows? Maybe I will be

6 notes · View notes

dollypopup · 6 months ago

Text

I get why people would think it but

Colin is NOT a rake. Colin is a young man trying to figure out his identity and what he likes sexually and trying to understand what the men of his society talk about and do. He's not out here messing around with women just to string them along and then leave them. He's trying to fit in and has been made fun of for being a virgin so yeah, he rectifies that by having sex, but just because he slept with a few women, that doesn't make him a rake? You wanna know who an actual rake in the series is?

Fife.

Because what the fuck happened to Miss Goring? I think about her sometimes and my heart aches for her. Her first season out, she's an 18 year old woman, and an older, titled man of her society who she assumes to be a proper gentleman makes her believe their relationship can actually be something, messes around with her the entire season, and then fucks her in a linen closet at a ball only to....what? Come back the next year with absolutely no mention of her whatsoever. Did she get pregnant? Was sent off in disgrace? Have to marry someone else?

Fife is a 30 year old man who has a bad habit of hounding after young, vulnerable women in his society. He fucks them and leaves them. He's a rake. Colin? Colin is not even close to that. Say what you will about the brothel scenes, but that IS the responsible place for a man of his time to go to for sex. Please stop demonizing sex work. Yes, many of these women are in that line of work because of less than savory reasons, but Colin is not taking advantage of them. He is paying for a service and they are providing that service. It is transactional, and he is the LEAST of their concerns in terms of clientele. A kind, handsome man who pays well and is discrete? Yeah, they're fine with him.

Colin has a history of respecting women. He respected Marina all throughout their courtship, and even after. I know some people sneer at him coming to see Marina, but please keep in mind she is a woman on her own who married a stranger far away from ANYONE who knew her. Colin was worried about Daphne when she came to him, asking if anything happened when she was away and clearly ready to fight for her, so of course he's worried about Marina. Partly he visits her for his own closure, but also like....y'all that's a WELLNESS visit. He's concerned that she's unhappy, but ultimately leaves because she's not hurt and that she tells him to. Colin listens to 'no' from the women around him. He asks for permission from them. He waited for Penelope's consent sexually, but he also didn't even get into the carriage until she allowed him. He even asks "Please, let me in".

Colin lives in a time when women do not have many rights, and he listens to the women around him even more than the men. He is the only one of his siblings to ask for his mum's advice and immediately takes it and takes action. He brings Eloise back a feminist text from his travels, even after she's besmirched as a radical, because he supports her pursuits. In season 2, he also knew of her going to the printers and didn't say anything. He has always respected and cared for Penelope. He hasn't insulted a single woman in his vicinity. He doesn't make the women he flirts with feel bad about themselves, or feel less, but compliments them, all whilst keeping respectable distance so as not to make them think he's interested in marrying them. He doesn't dance with any woman but Penelope in that season.

Colin isn't a rake. He's not a fuckboy. He's trying to act like he is, emulating the circle of his society, but that doesn't mean he is. I swear people just WANT to misinterpret him because that's the easiest way, but Colin is a character who doesn't lend well to surface level readings. He's a nuanced, gentle hearted character who has been looked down on for his sensitivity. He's a deeply relatable person because who of us haven't pretended to be accepted? Especially if we've been bullied or excluded. I know I have. Put on a persona for the sake of survival. And he does so for what? A few weeks? That does not a fuckboy make.

Just say you don't want to understand him and move along because those of us who get him GET HIM. And I'm grateful for a character like Colin.

He's the best man in the series by an entire mile and you can't change my mind about that.

#Colin Bridgerton #Polin #Penelope Featherington #Bridgerton #Marina Thompson #Eloise Bridgerton #At this point I'm convinced y'all are just mad that he's the only white boy in this entire show with an upper lip #And Imma call out the Anthony and Benedict Stans because y'all are the ones fuming about Colin #he's the only man I would ever even think of being in a relationship with out of the bunch #This is the peeta effect all over again: decent good men are demonized or looked down on because y'all have some unhealed trauma #The bad boy trope has rotted your brains #I've been with the bad boys who don't listen or who see you as their 'exception'- youre not the exception for long #Anyways Colin makes me go heart eyes #Always and forever gonna love him #Pen nabbed herself the best man in the series good for her

393 notes · View notes

navree · 9 months ago

Text

"that you could be so cruel" ok correct me if i'm wrong but does penelope featherington not run a gossip rag that exist solely to publish unsubstantiated rumors about women she doesn't like for various reasons that have profoundly negative repercussions on those women (didn't the publication of marina's pregnancy lead to marina almost dying in her quest to terminate said pregnancy??????) and has in fact used that same rag to put not just colin's entire family but also specifically colin's sister, her best friend, through a significant amount of grief and strife that came as a direct result of that rag?

but colin's the cruel one? because she happened to eavesdrop on a conversation where he said he doesn't wanna date her? that's cruelty but all the other stuff isn't?

#personal #bridgerton #anti penelope featherington #i'm gonna be honest i skim the absolute fuck out of this show whenever i force myself to watch it #but from what i remember that is literally what penelope does as lady whistledown #but yeah sure a guy who'd never shown any interest in her continuing to not show interest is the worst thing ever done to a human woman #like girl fix yourself!!!#it's you you're the problem!#(also typing that just led me to a horrible realization that at some low point for penelope in the show)#(we're gonna get a vitamin string quartet cover of antihero by taylor swift)#anyway eloise should be allowed to slap girlie across the face once an episode until she begs forgiveness #i'm only interested in that and if jonathan bailey's character has more sad scenes i can use in gifsets about louis philippe of france

485 notes · View notes

spy-x-family · 4 months ago

Text

i don't think tanjiro is the successor of sun breathing 'despite not being related to yoriichi'. i think it's that yoriichi is family to the kamados

in kny, family is whoever loves you. rui tries to make a family but ultimately fails not bc they're not blood related but bc he doesn't really love them. on the other hand, kanae, kocho, and kanao are sisters. zenitsu's master is his grandfather. inosuke's family were the boars (and then of course later, his birth mother kotoha, because tho he barely has any memories of her, he remembers she loved him dearly)

yoriichi was an unwanted child and later an unwanted brother when michikatsu's hatred for him festered and grew. he was rejected from the corps and only had the kamados. when he felt like his existence was worthless, it was the sumiyoshi who told him he deserved to be here as much as everyone else and made the effort to weave yoriichi into the family by passing down his earrings and sword form. he was rejected by his family but accepted by another. if family is whoever loves you, then that's yoriichi's people, and that love was why tanjiro succeeded him

#smth smth tsuyuri kanao carries on kocho and kanae's will and succeeds them by killing douma #smth smth kamado tanjiro carries yoriichi's will and succeeds him by killing muzan #do you see the vision #do you get my point #im bad at explaining but like i sincerely believe sumiyoshi and suyako accepted him as one of their own #i think that love was why sumiyoshi managed to learn sun breathing too. kny has this huge thing of wills and emotions passing through bonds #and no one in yoriichi's life at that point really loved him save for the kamados #anyway the reason why i got to thinking about this is bc i got.reminded again that in kimetsu gakuen #yoriichi just lives with sumiyoshi and suyako #just straight up. why the fuck is he there dhsgsgshhssh #where the fuck is uta. she's probably fucking dead too tbh but that panel was so funny #he's just there. he raises his niece and nephew on his off time. he shows up at the family barbecue #one day tanjiro is gonna open his mouth and talk about kokushibou and he'll go oh that's where aniue is working these days #and tanjiro will bump into koku again at some school fest and go YOU'RE MY UNC'S TWIN???#kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kamado tanjiro #tsugikuni yoriichi

116 notes · View notes

usercelestial · 4 months ago

Text

tbh i think a lot of the people saying "well both sides are wrong"/"bt stans are just as toxic" are just not exposed to other perspectives in this fandom. as a buddie fan who's been watching this show since s1, i can safely say that buddie fans have always been toxic. like as fact. to me, to say that bucktommy fans are just as harmful or just as annoying or just as bad as buddies consistently are is just. delusional. indicative of at worst a biased opinion and at best an uninformed one. buddie has been here since s2 and fans have ruthless ever since. bucktommy has been here for 3/4 of a season and for the most part, stay in their lane. i'm sure there are bucktommy fans who suck, like that's just being on the internet, but you have to be blind to ignore how insane buddie fans are and genuinely how much worse they are in comparison.

i don't want to generalize and i think constantly adding that disclaimer is annoying as hell bc obviously i'm not talking about everyone but because buddie has been here for so long and taken up so much mental space of very die-hard, passionate fans, you're going to see much more intensity on that side. after season 5, i had to step away from the fandom and the show because of how frustrating it got. it was annoying to see people swear up and down buddie will be canon by the end of s3-no wait s4-no wait s5-no wait- and ultimately it sucked my enjoyment out of a show i otherwise enjoyed because i got swept up in the Buddie Of It All and forget about why i watch the show to begin with. we've been left to stew in our theories and now we can't tell what canon and what's fanon anymore, and when the show reminds us, the disappointment and frustration kills our hopes.

i was also active in the dan and phil fandom and supernatural fandom, like ik why people think we're annoying and it's because we are. we make everything about the one thing we like, we comment on every post begging for it to become canon, we're violently disappointed when the show doesn't play into our fan theories because we've convinced ourselves buddie is going to happen by the end of the next episode or actually the end of this season or actually maybe the end of the next season. we've torn a part every female love interest, either making them boring or making them unlikeable in our fanon. all that to say is that when people call us annoying, they're telling the truth and when bucktommy fans say buddie fans are toxic, they're coming from a sincere place. i mean we can't even enjoy our own ship because we're so quick to get our hopes up and be let down about something as stupid it becoming canon. who cares if it becomes canon, just like it to like it.

and it makes sense why there's perceived "toxicity" on the bucktommy side. our energy is being matched; the obsession, the passion, the surge in fandom. if you don't like it or even just find it annoying, i suggest you guys look back on your own posts and comments and behaviors towards other people in the fandom and other characters and unbiasedly compare it to the Toxic Bucktommy Shippers you're claiming you hate. if bucktommy fans are obsessive, it's because we've set the stage for that. if bucktommy fans are getting aggro and defensive, it's because buddie fans have been on the opposition and don't know how to turn it off. we've gone from underdog to bully somewhere in the last 6 seasons.

#buddie fans are slowly killing themselves with all goal-post moving and fighting anything that moves #i mean we've been the underdogs for so long it makes sense we're defensive but at some point that turned into full on attacks at anything #that isnt buddie #so now we're not underdogs we're actually the very loud majority often punching down at people for enjoying maybe a smaller ship #ive stopped interacting with the buddie side of the fandom personally because bucktommy fans are way more lighthearted #its like when ppl trust men more if they have a cat lol like if youre a buddie shipper and you like bucktommy i trust you way more #i like bucktommy too and i think them being “”endgame“” or whatever makes a lot of sense #and im becoming more and more obsessed with them as the show goes on bc thats the story #buck being happy and cute and blushy is adorable and i wanna see more #anyways ive been wanting to air out my thoughts about this for a while #cause its really interesting to see this progression and where it seems like the story is going #and how fans react to that #if the show ends and buddie never becomes canon. how are they gonna feel. how will they cope if we get a bucktommy marriage in 2 seasons #will they boycott or finally just leave the show entirely?#or will they just pinch their nose and sit there miserable bc they just couldnt adapt?#911 abc

102 notes · View notes

septimusmoonlight · 2 months ago

Note

You doing ok?

#i'm alive. simply being chewed upon by multiple things #work is more stressful than i'd like it to be. for instance i'm hoping that i submitted my time off notification for tomorrow correctly #because otherwise it might read as a no call no show and i would . like to continue having a job #now to be fair. i do have it on the system that i requested it at the beginning of the month and i emailed my supervisor about it last week #so even if i didn't submit it correctly i'm likely in the clear #but nonetheless. i also got a firm talking-to the other day and now i am on ✨thin ice✨ for dicking around too much #because they track ur idle time at my work (computer) and mine was Quite High so my supervisor was like man what the hell is this #but even though she was kind of baffled at me spending so much time dicking around #she couldn't even really be all that mad in the end because i'm still doing good numbers and have made no (zero) mistakes #so she was just like. it's kind of impressive that your numbers look this good when you literally have 50% idle time #so she goes imagine what you could do if you weren't wasting so much time #and yeah i can whip out some Really Good Numbrers when i put the effort in.#so the problem is not my numbers it's just that i'm not spending long enough doing my tasks for the day #but i don't want to drag out those tasks intentionally so i've just been upping my own standards/goals #as much as i hate giving any more of my brain power than is necessary to giant corporations #it's still easy to feel smug after you get Talked To and then immediately turn around and show off #like yeah i coulda been doing this good the whole time. literally pulling up by 20 points. i just didn't want to.#trying to keep everyone's expectations low but accidentally toed the line of um. not working enough to keep my job #...anyway. EAS national weather system issued a . hi #i haven't forgotten about all of you i'm just having trouble tracking all my shit that i got going on ✨ yaaaaaaay #im gonna post things on AO3 soon. i promise. my weakness is that i get sidetracked trying to unwind from work #...i know i said 'soon' last time. but this time for real #asks #not sexy #anonymous

45 notes · View notes

dazais-guardian-angel · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.

When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?

Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?

I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.

I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.

An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.

So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.

Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡

#bungou stray dogs #seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want #but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this #either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it #if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol #maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk #also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing #like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost #not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it-#-would have been extremely different otherwise #i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with #and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story #I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen #BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga #like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible #so I at least am still perfectly happy lol #(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao)#anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already #please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-)#it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda #Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please-#Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭#MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS

336 notes · View notes