#i was gonna do some 'story' gifts that have their own unique dialogue but i couldn't think of anything 😩 hurt my brain...

[lucaanis]

what if i made a silly little dao-style gift guide/list for lleyth like they were an actual da companion haha. just kidding. unless... 😳

💛 LOVES gifts (Lleyth approves +10)

"Oh wow, this is... for me? Really? Oh! I... I don't even know what to say. It's lovely. I love it. Thank you."

9:44 Rialto Bay Reserve A luxury Antivan mulled wine, highly desired for it's silky texture and unusually high alcohol content. Finely aged with hints of orange peel & cloves.

Raven Feather Hairpin A handcrafted silverite hairpin fashioned in the shape of a feather.

Sea Dragon Emerald Tea A velvet pouch of dried assorted herbs and spices, this Rivaini loose-leaf tea blend is popular for it's unique aromatic taste and stress-relieving qualities. Often sold at market stalls in Llomerryn.

Artisan Journal Set An expertly crafted journal made from aged Antivan leather. Adorned with an intricate embroidered pattern and a gemstone latch. Comes with an engraved crow-feather fountain pen & purple satin bookmark.

💛 LIKES gifts (Lleyth approves +5)

"Interesting. This is for me? How thoughtful of you, thank you. I'll have to find a good place for this..."

It Was An Accident: The Auspicious Art of Botany, Bombs & Botulism An absurdly large book with resources on various alchemy recipes, ingredients, tinkering blueprints, and various "hypothetical" ways to "accidentally" kill people. Banned from the shelves of most respectable retailers.

Thing-On-A-String Well, it's certainly a thing— and on a string, no less. Some might say it resembles some kind of fuzzy worm, but any practical value it may hold is unclear.

Sketchy Charcoal Set A standard set of tools found in the repertoire of many artists. There's something a little shady about this one, though.

Preserved Snake Head The skeletal remains of a an adder snake bearing its fangs, cast in resin to prevent damage to the delicate structure. Kinda creepy.

🖤 PRANK gifts (Lleyth disapproves -5)

"Oh. That's... nice. Thanks, I suppose."

You're Not Alone: A Beginner's Guide to Sobriety A self-help book found on the shelf of a Chantry archive. For when an intervention requires a more subtle approach.

The Fifth Talon in Oil by Lalo Amicci, 9:46 An unsettlingly accurate oil painting of the Fifth Talon of the Antivan Crows. It's judgmental eyes and perpetually annoyed scowl seem to follow the viewer around the room...

💔 HATES gifts (Lleyth disapproves -10)

I... and you're giving me this because...? ...No, nevermind. Forget I said anything. I think it looks better with you, honestly. Keep it. I insist.

Halla Statue A small figurine of a Halla sculpted from Sylvanwood. There are intricate runic patterns carved into it.

Toy Aravel A simplistic miniature aravel made of wood and cloth. A children's toy commonly found among the Dalish.

[fictionissocialinquiry]

FISI’s Favourite Zutara Fics

A lil late for ZFAW’s Saturday prompt, sorry about that! Haven’t had any internet over the weekend. But better late than never!

I’m not gonna lie… a lot of these are angsty af. But I promise you they’re not gratuitous angst! They’re well written, beautiful stories that will make you feel like a better person for having read them. These are my favourite all time fics, ones I’ve read more than once and will continue to read (even though I’m taking a week break from fandom and fic).

 Multi-Chaptered Fics

The Sparrowkeet Series by audreyii_fic

To be honest, this story’s summary doesn’t do it justice so I ain’t including it. Originally a one shot, Sparrowkeet is headcanon for me now. Move over canon, this is where it’s at. Audreyii_fic’s characterisation, world building, and writing is exquisite. It’s incredible. She manages to channel the same fun and whimsical energy from the show while allowing the characters to grow and develop to places I wish they had actually been taken.

This one is a fandom Must Read and one I return to regularly.

 Clothe Me in Seasons, Dress Me in Snow by sadladybug

It is not the memorial she deserves, nor the one she would want. But it can't be helped. He owns no property in the other nations, and he needed to keep her close. Closer than she was in life, anyway.

Zuko's reflections on a life lived and a life that could have been.

This is one of the best written fics I’ve ever read. It’s tragic and deep and will hurt you in all the tender places but you would be doing yourself a favour if you read this. There’s a real bittersweet feeling to it and the love between them is just… urg, visceral.

 Lovable by LadyCharity

Zuko knew that he could not save Azula. He could only try to forgive her. Fittingly enough, those two were one in the same.

I love stories that make Zutara their centerpiece but every now but then a story like this comes along. A story where their relationship builds almost incidentally because the plot and character development straight up hijack your emotions. I got so invested in this story. Zuko is amazingly well characterised and his complicated thoughts and feelings around his father and Azula are incredibly well written!

 One Shots

Lunar Ephemerality by @formerlygoldilocks (goldilocks23)

After multiple failed attempts on his life and years of self-set expectations, Fire Lord Zuko is a shell of the man he used to be. But Katara won't turn her back on those who need her.

I really didn’t expect this to hit as hard as it did. This straight up snuck up on me, fly-kicked my feelings, and by the end I had written an 800 word comment that was too big for AO3 and I had to contact the author directly to send it to her. Awkward. I couldn’t help myself. The side to Katara we see here is so good, her empathy and love for her friends are one of the things I love seeing most in AtLA fanfic. I’m a sucker for Zuko having complete breakdowns and having to piece himself back together too. So sue me. I like it when they suffer a lil bit. The writing is absurdly good and I will be keeping an eye out for any new stories by goldilocks23!

 31 Minutes by @ifyouwereamelodymeg

It's quite astounding, really, how quickly she's learned to translate him. They've spent a grand total of zero time together outside of training, and he's hardly big on chat so she knows next to nothing about his life.

But she knows him, probably better than she knows anyone at the moment – with every tap of his fingers, every crook of his lips, every turn in his voice, he just...

He makes sense to her. It's weird.

I’m a sucker for fic writers playing with style to make the story pop and boyo does this fic deliver. This is one of the rare times that I’ve been dumbstruck at the end of a story— I just couldn’t accept the ending. Because I’m a sucker for pain, (and this story will bring The Pain) I loved it. The ease of Zuko and Katara’s growing relationship in this bowls you over, it’s absolutely beautiful and you find yourself nodding along emphatically when Zuko calls himself an idiot for waiting… “Life’s short, kids, live each moment as though it could be your last,” says this fic as it pulls my heart out and dropkicks it off a cliff.

 i count to five (and life passes by) by @markedmage

Five heartbeats.

I still haven’t forgiven Mage for this one. I think it’s the best thing she’s written to date! I mean, tragic and painful and heart-rending but holy shit is it powerful <3

 The Lake of the Dismal Swamp by @thewhiitelotus

Spook af. Spook (horror) is real hard to do well but thewhiitelotus is coming for your goosebumps and those shivers down your spine. She has a way of balancing beautiful, evocative imagery with action (in this and other stories of her) that just keeps you reading!

 Calloused by @rideboldlyride

Iroh hadn’t been able to watch. The pure horror of a man - a father- burning their child for a slight infraction... He couldn’t do anything to stop it, but he will stop his brother from destroying entirely the kind boy he knew Zuko could be.

This is a painfully underappreciated fic for how great the characterisation is. I know we in the zutara fandom tend to not read stories that aren’t Zuko/Katara centric as often but do yourself the favour of reading this (or listening to it: RideBoldlyRide has done us the gift of recording a podfic for this and it’s stupidly *good*). This story is Iroh confronting Ozai just after he burns Zuko’s face and it kicks.

 four days and three nights by @hinaoyamas (lettersfromnowhere)

Zuko discovers firsthand that nothing is more fleeting than happiness, or more enduring than memory.

Do you like reading stories with a distant, omniscient narrator? The kind that read like a myth from the ancient world? Welp, hit the hyperlink, friend, cause this one’s for you. Not only is the writing exquisite but the characterisation and painful inevitability of the plot is grade A.

 For the Fire Nation by tullyblue12

He falls in love with her for his country before he falls in love with her for himself. A Zuko/Katara AU that explores how love and duty aren’t always mutually exclusive.

There are about 40,000 exquisite lines in this story but here is just one of my favourites: “He falls in love with her for his country first. That’s what his people never understand.” This fic says a lot with so few words, which is something I really look up to! In 2,800 words, tullyblue12 does what some 100,000k fics cant: They make you feel.

 Guide Me Home by Rashaka

To sleep, perchance to dream. Katara and Zuko find a friendship they never expected in a place that seemed impossible.

This is a one shot I will forever wish for a continuation of. The setup is just… so juicy. There’s a real sorrowful innocence to this story that the unique short, dialogue only scenes really punch home. I know some people don’t like dialogue only fics but when done well like in this one, it leaves you with the impression of something deeper than a 1,185 word fic has any right to! 

 Other Favourites!

Hopeless by tullyblue12 — Kids grow up fast when a cruel world awaits them. In times of hopelessness, Katara and Zuko grow together. In times of separation, they hope to see each other again.

Speechless by goldilocks23 — Zuko has a medical condition. Or: Zuko speaks in haiku at inappropriate times.

Don’t Follow Me Down by eleventy7 — Katara is the dread queen of the underworld, ruler of the dead, destined to reign her cold kingdom alone. Until a sun god catches her eye. A Hades/Persephone retelling with incredible writing.

I Don't Speak Meow Language by @botherkupo (Boogum) — In which Zuko adopts a cat and Katara just wonders what spirits she pissed off to deserve this fate.

I have the privilege of being friends with some of these authors (they know who they are) and am in near daily awe and gratitude for the works of free fiction they provide us, the fandom. And not just any old stories: Guys... Really good ones!! Can I ask that if you go check out these fics, can you just drop a kudos or a comment their way? If you’re feeling shy just copy and paste this into the comments box anonymously: “WOW! Loved this! Thank you so much for writing it!”

I know it would mean the world to this talented bunch <3

[itsclydebitches]

Hey Clyde, did you check out Wonder Egg Priority at all? The first ep is super promising, but the series as a whole is one of those real fascinating disasters from a story and a production standpoint that might be up your alley as a thing to pick apart haha.

I’d warn that it’s also reeeeal offensive and this generally gets worse as it goes though.

Hi, Phoenix! How are you and Cube doing?

Okay, I hadn't watched Wonder Egg Priority when I received your ask this morning. Now I have. In a fit of intense curiosity I settled down for a rare binge session and tore through all twelve episodes + OVA in a single sitting. It is now nearly 3:00am as I write this because I, oh so clearly, make fantastic life choices.

A question for you: what did I just watch?

The rest is going under a read more partly for spoilers, but more-so because WEP—and the summary I'm about to give, because I feel like I need to try and explain this to tumblr's faceless void for my own, dwindling sanity—comes with about every trigger warning under the sun. Seriously, if you are triggered by anything that we might think of as a "standard" trigger (meaning, not unique to you and your own experiences), best to proceed with caution.

Right! What the ever loving fuck happened in this show? Well, let's work through this chronologically. Two genius, frat boy brothers (I get their names mixed up so I'm not even gonna bother) are locked in their apartment and closely monitored because of Super Secret Science Research. Even though, I think, they're the ones who created this company. Not important! What is important is that they're bored enough to create an AI for funsies, thinking of her as their daughter and letting her name herself Frill. Frill is the perfect, cutesy, also genius child who has a habit of popping her lips — which the camera focuses on in an incredibly creepy fashion. One day Brother #1 (the hot one) falls in love with a random woman we know nothing about and Frill gets jealous.

"Jealous in a general sense?" you ask, thinking this show is in any way normal. "Like, just of her Dad giving attention to someone else?"

"No," I respond, patting your hand. "Jealous because she's in love with him." Which, beyond the subject matter itself, comes completely out of nowhere. Frill has a line about what you'd do if some woman stole your husband away. I, fool that I was, briefly considered that these two guys were lovers, not brothers. Oh no. They're brothers. Frill just considers Dad #1 to be her "husband."

So, in true evil AI fashion, she murders the wife, leaving only her newly born child behind. Who is a daughter.

Uh oh.

Dad #1 locks Frill in a coffin-esque hole in the basement and goes on with his life. Things are great! Until years later when the daughter reveals that she has fallen in love with her uncle (Dad #2 to Frill). She knows (somehow??) that both her dad and her uncle loved her mom, so if the loser uncle will just wait a few years he can marry her instead! He brushes her off, but the next day she’s found dead of an apparent suicide.

Realizing that this was somehow Frill’s doing, he marches down to the basement and confronts the murderous child they’ve had locked up for years. She’s now surrounded by screens in, again, true creep AI fashion. How did she get all this while she was locked up? Oh, just the three bug girls she created as friends prior to killing the wife. They’re devoted slaves, I guess. So the uncle says enough of this insanity and seemingly sets Frill on fire.

OH and Frill’s subtitled dialogue also puts “uncle” in quotation marks, implying that the daughter was always Dad #2’s??

Anyway, both brothers are now super obsessed with death and claim that they think Frill has had a hand in lots of girls’ suicides, even now after her own death. This is brought into question later when it’s revealed that they might have just concocted this scheme to try and bring back their daughter. I’m really not sure. Regardless, they use hand-wavey science to create eggs that I guess contain the souls of young girls who have committed suicide, then they sucker in other young girls who have lost people to suicide to try and rescue their loved ones in a dream world, saving others along the way. A tomboyish girl, Momoe, lost a classmate who admitted to loving her, but who Momoe rejected. Rika, a former junior idol, used and rejected an overweight fan only to learn later that she’d starved herself to death. Neiru, the 14yo president of some science company (yup) was attacked by her sister before she jumped off a bridge. Finally Ai, our protagonist, is a victim of bullying who managed to make friends with a single girl, Koito, who then jumped from their school building for unknown reasons. They’re all given the chance to bring these individuals back to life, provided they protect other victims of suicide by defeating the monstrous traumas that drove them to that act in the first place.

And you know what? That concept was great. However, the execution ranges from “Okay, that was pretty good for an anime. Kudos there” to “That’s the most offensive thing I’ve seen in my life.” Needless to say, unpacking all the battles they fight would take a lot more than this already absurd summary. Basically, if you can think of something horrible to happen to young girls (and one trans guy whose existence in that egg undermines the whole message of the episode), there’s an attempt to tackle it here.

During all this the four girls become friends and Ai works through her suspicions about Mr. Sawaki, a teacher at her school. What’s going on with Mr. Sawaki? Uh… everything! He’s somehow connected to Koito’s death, he’s dating Ai’s mom, and Ai apparently loves him too because her friends say so, even though this is never actually addressed and she barely interacts with him. It’s all quite the complication.

In time though the girls complete their “mission” of bringing their loved ones back to life. Rika and Momoe manage it first, only to find that Frill’s bug-girl lackeys have arrived to kill them. Why? Because that’s what Frill does, I guess. Momoe’s crocodile familiar (cute animals the girls were gifted to help them fight) takes a killing blow for her and the bug-lady then proceeds to carve up his corpse and force feed it to Momoe. Fantastic!! Building off of that, the next bug-lady who Rika encounters kills her turtle too, following in the footsteps of her bug-sister by, presumably, forcing her to eat parts of its head. Ai refuses to sacrifice her familiar to stay alive, but luckily the suicide she was protecting turns out to be herself from a parallel universe (that's a thing now!) and she takes the killing blow herself, which is done by pulling out the eye she’s sensitive about (she has heterochromia.) So parallel Ai passes on (again?) and the three girls don’t work through this trauma at all, instead becoming more traumatized through the realization that the loved ones they brought back no longer remember them. They’re alive, but the relationship they all had with them is dead.

It’s about this point that the main storyline wraps up and I’m relieved that there’s an OVA to finish things off. Surely they can somehow bring this all together in 45 minutes.

…25 minutes of that OVA is recap.

So with only about 20 minutes left, we learn that Neiru, the only one to not complete her mission yet, has mysteriously gone missing. It turns out she was an AI/clone/something all along, made to replace her sister and, presumably, that’s what caused the whole stabbing-suicide incident. She successfully brings her sister back, but stays behind in the dream world because Frill promises her she can become human. How is Frill here when she’s dead? How will Neiru become human? Isn’t Frill the “temptation of death” or whatever? There are no answers. A flashback finally reveals that Koito was having a relationship with a teacher at another school, he committed suicide, she transferred, she tried the same thing with Mr. Sawaki, he kept refusing her advances, and finally while threatening suicide to get his attention, she accidentally fell.

(So why was she in the suicide egg if it was an accident??)

Except, all this information comes through Mr. Sawaki himself, there’s a whole subplot about whether he’s really a villain, or if Ai is just making him into one, and this show might as well be titled How Much Pedophilia Can We Put into One Anime? So make of that what you will.

A dead character randomly shows up, but it's fine because she's actually just a version from a parallel world. How did she get here? Why is she here? Lol, it's cute that you think these are answered.

Rika, the character who cuts and almost committed suicide halfway through the show, breaks down saying how much she misses her dead loved ones, right after her friends refused to let her go on another mission that would surely end in her death and… that’s it. That’s all we get about her.

Momoe too, though she’s hopefully just vibing somewhere with that longed-for boyfriend.

Ai transfers schools and then one day randomly remembers that she loves Neiru and rushes back to start cracking eggs again because that will? Somehow?? Let her see Neiru???

When I say there are too many unanswered questions to possibly list here I really, really mean it.

Finally, in a personal attack on me, the protagonist with a name that is literally AI is not in any way an artificial intelligence.

And that’s it! Congratulations, you now “understand” WEP. And see, the funny thing is that the off-the-rails, bat-shit crazy aspects kind of catch you off guard? Yeah, the first episode is fantastic. In fact, I think I got through about six episodes thinking that this was a solid, if at times really messed up anime, but I was willing to shrug off a lot of stuff due solely to the amount of sensitive material they were attempting to cover (which is always quite difficult to do). Probably the only reason I was able to binge so fast was because the first half of the series was so engaging. The characters are charming. The animation is GORGEOUS. There's actually a ton of good here that is also worth yelling about. But then the plot comes in like a freight train and I was left staring dumbfounded at my screen as more and more insanity kept happening. Having watched the "explanations" I am now more confused about the show I just saw.

Phoenix, if you’ve bothered to read this rambling, 3:00am rant: thank you. I think? Idk if I should actually be thanking you or cursing you for tuning me into this, but it was definitely an experience, that’s for sure lol.

I'm off to bed now RIP the chance of having normal dreams ✌️

[ourstarscollided]

jatp fanworks appreciation - day 1 (writers)

motivation - so in true me fashion and my aversion to brevity, i've made three (3) posts (see also artists, gifs/edits) to celebrate the wonderful people in this fandom who have made my jatp tumblr experience what it is; a community of people who simply shout into the void about their love of a ghost band and their fearless female leader. i've enjoyed simply being on the sidelines admiring everyone's love for the show, but i thought this would be a good time to really show my appreciation for all these wonderful people, because if i've learned anything from this pandemic, it's that there is NEVER a wrong time to tell someone that they are simply ✨the best✨.

disclaimer: i don't interact with most of these people personally and i simply absorb their content from afar and scream about how wonderful they are in the tags.

This list kind of became a fic rec, so if you're looking for some wonderful fics to read (or reread), I've also included my favs from the author here as well.

Okay this is gonna get a little long so please bear with me. But I just wanted to preamble this by saying that the fanfiction written by the jatp fandom is what resparked my love for reading fiction after about 3-4 years of not reading for leisure (be an adult they said. it'll be fun they said.). So I'm really grateful for that? I don't interact with a lot of people, just because it makes me a little anxious, but I will constantly yell about your content in the tags as if I were on a set of bleachers with a megaphone.

I also know there are so many wonderful fic writers out there (on Tumblr and not on Tumblr) that make amazing pieces of work, and this is just a tiny peek into that, and is not at all conclusive.

Without further ado here are some writers who live rent free in my head, in alphabetical order, so feel free to just skip to your name to avoid my rambling:

@bluefirewrites -> your Merry Ex-Mas fic had me on the edge of my seat every single time you updated. I am so in love with how you wrote the characters into this and at how many words you churned out for this fic. This was filled with so much adventure, and it was really welcome during a time when the world wasn't allowed to travel. And I simply love all the other drabbles and fics you write, but I especially enjoy the hilarity of Ray Molina, Crime Scene Photographer and Matchmaker.

@captainkippen -> I'm pretty sure Love Drunk was one of the first fics I ever read in this fandom. Your stories and your writing feel so goddamn real and I find myself so immersed in the worlds that you've created. I have reread most of your jatp fics and I still manage to find myself stupidly grinning at my phone each time. Your stories flow so easily and are such perfect characterizations of the characters we know from the show, but elevated to fit into your verse. I cannot say enough how wonderful your writing is and how talented you are!! (also a slight nudge that I am still very much following along with The Key and the Crown and I hope you continue it!)

@catty-words -> Your???? Exhaustive??? Music??? Lists???? The amount of work and dedication and microanalyzing that you put into pulling out every detail from each scene is so admirable. You not only manage to find the details, but you also give us EVIDENCE via your intricately selected gifs. You could've just put the video of the performance, but no, you take your time to find that specific 1 second shot to emphasize your point. And your little fics that you sometimes throw out into the world? They're so beautiful, and so fun to read and I enjoy them so much! (I am STILL screaming about this band's a snack) Thank you for validating my yelling in the tags, and for feeding my hyperfixation to this show. (I'm sad these lists are ending soon, but it's about the journey ya know?)

@lydias--stiles -> I don't even know what to say here because I've yelled so much about your fics that I feel like there's really nothing else to yell. Your Road Trip AU was also one of the first ones I read in this fandom, and really just made me go absolutely feral. Pretty sure I absorbed the rest of your fics in an ungodly amount of time and I just simply think you are incredibly skilled and talented. Every time you post a new fic I always wonder what it's like to be in your head because the ideas you come up with are so unique and so well thought out. Thank you for all the art you create for this show, I will constantly be in awe of you. (Special shoutout to the 5+1 fic that became a 31 chapter monster)

@pearlcaddy -> This list would not be complete if I didn't mention you. First of all, thank you for suggesting this wonderful week, it has been so lovely to see so much love being spread around today. Secondly, I never thought I'd find myself reading a Buffy or a Wizarding World crossover fic, considering I know nothing about those two things. And yet I found myself on various nights after work at 3 in the morning just silently screaming and/or crying into my phone. Your writing is so insane. Your world building is so insane. Your banter/dialogue is insane. The way you capture the love between Julie/Luke in different universes is so perfect. Thank you for gifting us these beautiful pieces of art, and I hope you know that you have at least made one person (me) a very happy reader. I also really admire your dedication to "this will only be a oneshot", only to write like 4 other POVs for it. (Special shoutout to 100 Bad Days)

@ruzek-halstead -> Literally every single fic you have written lives rent free in my head. The way you've managed to build this universe of different Julies and Lukes, and each one still captures the essence of them is astounding. You've extended their characters beyond what we know from the show and I am just in awe of everything you write. Please know that dead of night is both triggering to me and yet the most hilarious thing I have read. (Special shoutout to the Fake Dating Christmas AU and of course the Cinderella Story AU)

@serendipitee -> Your stories and your writing are absolutely magical. I think Write It Down was one of the first multi-chapter fics that I followed super closely and whenever you updated, I would literally drop what I was doing and read it instantly. You have such a way of building the plot and the characters for all of your fics and drabbles, and making the reader just want more. Please know that I am so obsessed with Oh, She Waltzed With the Dead and I cannot wait to see where you take the story!

@sunsetcurbed -> I have no words for your writing. I am simply in awe every time I read something from you. The way you've got down Alex and Willie's voice to a tee is so crazy good. You write their characters and their stories with such grace and care, especially with how you approach the topic of mental health. Thank you for all the research you do and for also writing in your own experiences. I literally binged the Princes Diaries AU during work and lost a good half day to it, and I regret nothing because that fic left me in SHAMBLES. I secretly adore the way you say you're going to keep a fic short, and end up writing an insane amount of words for it. (I have not yet left my obligated long-ass comment on Chapter 4 of the College AU yet because I am still processing the fate/destiny concept.)

@tangledstarlight -> Gahh. Rosie. Please. This is going to sound a little repetitive considering I just screamed at you last night, but now I guess I will just have to publicly confess my adoration for you!!! Thank you for being my first online friend in a very long time, and for putting up with me yelling at you about everything (and also nothing at the same time). I can't believe all it took was one message about your Royals AU for you to post it, but I will gladly take that credit any day. You are so so so incredibly talented with your writing, and your ability to transport me to another world while I read your fics is unparalleled. I adore the way you can come up with a new story to write every day, and then proceed to throw it into your pot of other WIPs. I am so so so so lucky to have gotten to know you and am incredibly grateful that I now have someone to cry about everything with 🧡 (If you read anything from Rosie, you need to read her Seasons/Long Distance Juke "friendship" fic and the Reggie x Photography oneshot that made me bawl my eyes out.)

@thedeathdeelers -> No thoughts. Just soulmates. Jk jk, you know I love your Reggie x Ray x Carlos fics, and I will scream in the tags about it until the day I get more of those fics from you. This is lowkey a threat, but wrapped in kindness. You are so wonderful to see on my dash (albeit scary at times because of the sheer amount of headcanons and theories running through your head), but you radiate such positive energy that it's impossible to not want to jump in and scream about soulmates with you.

Some special mentions to fics that also live rent free in my head:

@sunsetsandcurves wrote a Willex Cruise Ship AU inspired by a Simple Plan song and it’s something I never knew I needed until I read it. 

@phantom-curve wrote a Juke fic based off of Coney Island and I would just like to say, yes, it did shatter me. (Here’s the fluff sequel that makes up for it though)

@unsaidjulie wrote the Juke dog fic of my dreams and I simply cannot express how much I want the Molina’s to have a dog now. 

@pawprinterfanfic managed to get me incredibly invested in a Star Wars AU even though I know absolutely nothing about Star Wars. I just know that I would die for two (2) space boys. 

@sanssssastark  your Later universe made me realize that I do very much want there to be more mature content for this fandom (and you constantly deliver).

@theobligatedklutz wrote a Tangled Willex AU that makes me screech every time there’s an update. Just read it.

@alexthedrummerboy your talent knows no bounds when it comes to your Social Media AU. Also she’s written ORIGINAL songs for Alex and Willie?!?!?! 

@gennified has this really wonderful modern take on pride and prejudice for Willex and I’m so obsessed with how much miscommunication there is.

@bananaleaves okay, I just found your Tumblr today, and I know you don’t know me in any capacity, but allow me to scream about THIS FIC RIGHT HERE. If anyone in this fandom is to read ANYTHING, it’s this fic. This was one of the best things I’ve read in a long time and absolutely wrecked me. Please just read this.

This turned out WAY longer than it was supposed to, and I’m SO SORRY. (I also tried to make sure I got everyone’s pronouns right, so PLEASE let me know if they’re wrong!) A final sincere thank you to everyone in this fandom who writes. Your talent knows no bounds. Gonna stop talking now before this becomes an essay....

[tmp-jatp]

so it’s encouragement day or something i think

most of you guys have already heard this from me but i’m gonna do it again, this time in public, so that you can hear it again and everyone can know how much i love you. this is by no means an exhaustive list so if you don’t see yourself on here please know it’s not because i don’t like you, just bc i’m human and can’t remember everyone all the time. but for those i am naming today, i want to share with you what i think your niche in the fandom is as a writer, or at least what i know you best for. you all do all of these things but to call out one unique thing for each of you, this is what i offer as my gift

first off: @pink-flame k. my friend. my bestie here in jatp land. you already know all this, like i said, but girl. fliomea was the first jatp fic i ever read and i wouldn’t have had it any other way. i remember reading every single chapter of wfw each night it came out and it was the highlight of my day, every day. and then the chapters spread out further bc fair, daily 4k chaps is an insane schedule, and each new chapter was a surprise present. the way i say to everyone is this: you write the epics. that’s your signature here in the fandom. that’s your “thing”. you create entire worlds and it feels like i’ve opened my eyes again i’m reading a ya novel. even when it’s not an epic, like the bodyguard au, it’s still so good. fliomea and wfw are two of the most iconic fics in this fandom and two of the most memorable fics i’ve ever read in my life. hello?? beatrice, anyone? queenie? sammi? josie? wonderland??? iconic. one of the other “things”, i wanna note, is how much you write bobby, and you write him so well. you’ve made all of us love bobby, and you’ve made me love you.

@thedeathdeelers immy i love you so much. you’re my other jatp bestie. i love saying good morning to you at midnight and then again at nine. you have so many wonderful ideas for stories, and you make the best headcanons. that is your “thing” in the fandom. also the way that you’re always shouting about soulmates. i couldn’t imagine this place without you here, and we’d all be worse off if you weren’t. your reggie and ray drabbles bring fresh air to my lungs. whenever i see that someone’s reblogged something from you, i go through the notes to see your rb so i can read all your tags, because i can’t get enough of what you have to say. your headcanons are basically canon to me. you’re my number one rubber duck and i love you. don’t stop screaming about juke. ever. (<3)

@pearlcaddy your “thing” is the pining. also your dialogue. that’s pretty clear to all of us, i think. but i love the way that you put the jatp cast of characters into places that you’ve lived. you use what you know to write stories that feel so rich and alive. wizarding world, usc, ireland. these settings come to life and you solder the plot and characters’ emotions to the settings in a way that makes them unable to exist without one another. not only your worldbuilding and your pining, but your dialogue is stellar. (haha i didn’t even mean to do that) there’s always something that sticks out and has stayed with me, and i’ve told you before, but now for the benefit of anyone else reading this: remember “cold or frozen”. remember “string obedient woman”. remember “julie stellar molina”. you write some of the best alex and reggie, too. you've made me laugh, you've made me cry, you’ve made me start listening to jukebox the ghost, i love you.

@blush-and-books chloe you’re the one i spoke to most recently but i wanna say basically the same things (and more) again for the world to hear how much i love your stories. while pearlcaddy’s settings feel huge and awesome, your settings all feel small, like home. everything you write, i can feel. i’m there. i’m sitting in the auditorium while auditions for the music man begin, feeling the excitement for the new show and smelling that smell of the seats and the walls and the air. i’m standing on the loose gravel in the alley out to the side of the orpheum with the buzzing red light of the “ex-t” sign glowing up there and it feels humid. i’m in the library at my own table, trying hard to hide my own smile as i watch the looks being passed between the boy reading to the kids and that girl who is clearly not studying even though she’s trying to make it seem so. i’m in julie’s room and i see the ring on her finger and the fanny pack on the chair and the leather jacket hanging in the closet. your “thing” is that you have such a unique attention to detail that captures the scene and the feeling of what’s going on impeccably. perfectly. something about your way to capture the literal air of every room, i can feel it, i can smell it. i can’t get enough of what you write, and i love you.

@lydias--stiles ophelia i’ve never said a word to you ever except for in the ao3 comment box and that changes today. you’re so good at fluff but you’re right when you say that angst is where you excel. i haven’t read as much of your stuff as i’d like to have (read: all of it), but that’s definitely gonna change in the future. calm in the storm is such a gritty story but it also feels so real. you don’t hold back. i don’t know your work well enough to definitively say what your “thing” is. i’d like to, though. all i know is that today i was thinking of the way that soul and love tasted purple at anima and i went back to that fic to ctrl-f for every time you said “purple”. your stuff might not be on the front of my mind all the time, but it’s there, in my memory, and it won’t ever leave. 

@bluefirewrites your stuff is good as canon to me, even though most of it is au. like ophelia, i don’t know your “thing” because i don’t know your writing well enough to say, even though i’ve read most of it. stupid cupid and doodled shoes have me on the edge of my seat right now and i love reading every new chapter. your juke’s dynamics are so uniquely you and even though they’re different across your fics, your julie and your luke are so perfect and somehow always the same, but different. do you feel me? probably not. i think i’m trying to say i love the way you interpret the characters. they feel canon, but also they don’t in the best way possible. exmas is another iconic fic, and knock three times, too. you do so many things so well that i can’t pick just one that stands out above the rest.

i love so many of you guys that i haven’t listed here. so many fics i read i just wanna shower you with all the love but it’s late so i go to sleep and i leave the tab open so in the morning i can comment but by then i’ve lost most of the specific things i wanted to say. so know that i’m always trying to be profound and all that stuff like i tried to be here, but sometimes i fail terribly. happy jatp appreciation day or whatever today is, everyone.

[tildehummingbird]

Spoiler about Catherine and the Soul Riding

(I posted this over at sso forums, so if you see a thread like this there, it's me hehe)

So, I've done the Catherine Quests and I've completed them and as a lot of other people, I was mad. 

I mean, I had so many questions: If Aideen is in everyone, and destiny doesn't matter, then what's the need for Soul Riders, if anyone can do it? Destiny and being the "chosen one" is the whole entire concept of this game, and changing the route NOW, or at ALL doesn't make any sense, and they're probably gonna lose a lot of players that are interested in lore because this doesn't make any sense. Then what's even the need for a 5th rider? What's even the need for this game at all, if a 5th rider isn't needed then just follow the storyline in Starshine Legacy and don't add the 5th rider. If anyone can do it and if Aideen is in everyone, then explain why we're the only ones in this whole entire generation that can handle all powers at once, why can't any of the other riders in Jorvik? Why was Elizabeth so surprised that we could in fact use all powers? What was the need for the beginning cutscene? It literally told us "In times of despair, a sisterhood of Soul Riders will ride forth to protect the island from the evil that seeks to rip the world apart. It is foretold that a sisterhood led by a heroic and fearless girl will appear on horseback to bring hope and light back to those who believe that all is lost... Are you that girl?" I don't know dude, it doesn't even matter if I am because apparently anyone can be that girl, so who cares if I am? Then why were we able to literally fly on our horse? Why would Fripp be so adamant about our protection to the point of where he put his own life on the line, just so we could be protected? The message of "anyone can be a hero" is great, however that's not the point of this story and it never has been.

All these questions and no answers, so I thought we could theorize a bit so that, together, we could try to understand a bit more about this and understand what even happened, what it means and where it is going.

I was checking the star stable tag on Tumblr, and I saw a post by @sso-emberwood that pointed out a lot about Catherine: She didn't even want to be Aideen at all, all she wanted was a normal life with Thomas and her baby, to be free from this prophecy and these duties. Not only that, but The Keepers of Aideen aren't exactly the most telling bunch, so she would know as much as we do: nothing. She wasn't a fan of the prophecy thing, she wasn't a fan of being the only one who's special and different, and she rejected the whole idea, so it would make sense as to why she'd project that onto us, too. Not only that, we saw that she lost her horse, and therefore "half a soul", as Linda described it so maybe she really doesn't get it anymore.

Either that, or maybe we perceived what she said wrong. I went back to check on what she said, so I'll write it here: "We needn't wait for Aideen's return. The goddess is reborn with every horse and rider who open their hearts and form a true bond. Aideen's gift is love. She's been with us all along. In me. In you. At least that is what I believe."

So, to start off, I think that last part is very important. That's what she belives - referring back to what we know is fact: she didn't like the prophecy, and she wanted to define her own destiny and not be controlled by it - so it would make sense for her and her character that she'd have these beliefs. To her, all you need is Aideen's love because Aideen's gift lives in everyone. Now, it is true that Aideen's Gift lives in everyone because Aideen's gift IS for everyone in the island of Jorvik, and I even have Rhiannon dialogue to prove that the Keepers of Aideen agree on this too. This bit of text is from one of the Soul Riding quests, where Rhiannon takes us to South Hoof:

"Have you ever noticed there's something different to the nature of Jorvik? The grass is greener, the birdsong sweeter. But most importantly, the horses are happy and free. They have all this land to roam, and we Jorvegians share this land with them. This connects us to horses on a deeper level. The other Druids put so much focus on the Soul Riders, Guardian Horses, Aideen herself....but they forget to see the magic that's right before their eyes. The magic of Aideen's gift." At this point, you're given two choices: either "I already know that." or "That's what they all say." Regardless, she'll say "Is that so? You've probably heard folk talk about it as if it's some kind of friendship between horse and human. But it's so much more than that. It's what pulled me to travel up North to care for magical horses. It's what makes Nix so special to me. It's even why I'm a Wild Whisperer...On Jorvik, our deep bond with horses is magical. You've been training exceptionally well. During this time, the bond you have developed with [horse name] has flurished. But you haven't just strengthened the bond between both of you. You've connected to the nature of Jorvik on a deeper level, and with that have honed a magical link to all the horses in this island. Close your eyes, and listen to the sound around us. Can you feel how everything is connected?", yet again you can choose between "Yes, it's magical." and "Uh...no." she'll say "You clearly have an affinity for this. I'm impressed. Sometimes, if you focus clearly, you may notice a spark of something powerful. That's the presence of a wild horse. It's one of the ways we Wild Wardens sense they're nearby and ensure their safety. So now you know. Aideen's Gift ties us to all the horses on Jorvik, and it is something to treasure. You can use this knowledge to improve your riding skills. Pay close attention to your horse, and the horses around you, and you will find harmony. This is what I wanted to share with you weeks ago, but I thought you weren't ready to understand. However, I was wrong. Your dedication to Soul Riding has proven just how much you care for the horses on this island. I'm proud of you, [player name]. Thank you for helping protect the horses on Jorvik."

Aideen's Gift is what makes you have such a good connection with horses and it is what makes Jorvik's people and horses special - however, that's certainly not enough to lead Soul Riders into battle. Love isn't enough to defeat Garnok - you need to be chosen for it and destiny DOES matter, no one else has any power in any circle, only the people who are born specifically to have it. However, Catherine is right, but I'm not exactly sure that she understands that that's not why we are unique and that's not what makes us fit for battle instead of literally anyone else - we're unique and the reason as to why we're the only ones who should be able to go into battle is because we don't just have Aideen's Gift like everyone else - we are Aideen. Catherine is Aideen too, we are her and she is us. Cause all of the reeincarnations of Aideen are the same thing, different body. Us and the Soul Riders don't just have Aideen's Gift, we were reincarnated to be her and the soul riders were reincarnated to be what they are today.  Catherine very visibly rejected and left behind her duties and gave up being a soul rider after she lost her horse - she completely rejected even looking for a reeincarnation of it like we did with Anne - but when she did, we were born, because Catherine gave up which meant that another reeincarnation was needed, because it needs to be Aideen herself, not just someone who has the gift - she kept the gift, but she no longer had what it takes to be that girl, and didn't want to either, so someone who did was born.

And again, the Druids make it very clear that their mission, and their end goal is he rebirth of Aideen. A couple of days ago I got a lore book from the Soul Riding missions called "Druids and Horses: A Partnership" that said this: "Aideen's Gift enables druids to continue to protect Jorvik, feel spiritually closer to the land, and ultimately fulfill their mythical goal of the rebirth of Aideen" and  "[...] a network of spiritual people whose sole mission is to protect Jorvik through ensuring the return of the goddess Aideen." 

Which means they acknowledge that they're waiting for a specific someone to be born, so that that specific someone can lead the sisterhood into battle, when the final battle comes, which means that they acknowledge that it can't just be anyone. Waiting for someone special is the whole point of the Keepers of Aideen - they are literally called Keepers of Aideen, no Aideen reborn, no Keepers of Aideen.

Also, in the mission "Strenght in Numbers" with Rhiannon in the Soul Riding, she said that what made her leave Jorvik was that she saw a hooded figure in the forest, and it felt like it was draining the life out of her and her horse, so she left because she was afraid, but she came back upon Elizabeth's request for help, and she when she saw how much closer the Keepers of Aideen were, she decided to stay, but after she says she says: "What really opened my eyes was you, [player name]. Your dedication, skill, and sheer talent has given me faith in Aideen's Light that I haven't felt for a while." Everyone has something like this to tell us, I think there's a reason for that. One of the most important ones so far was for example, when Darko was able to enter the Stone Ring, threatening to destroy the keystone, and Fripp says: "I would sooner destroy the keystone than let you take [player name]. She is more important than you imagine..."

The reason as to why I choose to share the Rhiannon one is because it is recent, just like Catherine's memories which means the story and the objective remains the same, with the only difference that we know Catherine's perspective and why she failed and why the sisterhood fell apart, which will be important in the future, because if you don't remember, the dark riders are trying to recruit Nihili (previously known as Elise) who is the 4th Dark Rider. So far, we've only seen her horse but what we do know about her is that she has the ability to cause discord within the Dark Riders, but I'd imagine she'd have influence on us, as well, and that's why she'd probably be recruited. The Dark Riders know that the previous sisterhood failed due to discord and fights within the group, so it wouldn't be surprising that they'd try to make that happen yet again.

Apart from all of this, I simply don't think Catherine knows enough about this whole thing to be the one to reveal it to us, and I also think the "big reveal" was anticlimatic and not well done, at least in my eyes, because *assuming* this is the route they're going with...eh? What? Why was it so...dry?

Also, if you go back to the very first news post on Catherine's diary, it says "This chapter of the Soul Rider story arc is a standalone quest and is not mandatory to complete in order to play future quests with the Soul Riders." and if they were to add SUCH an important reveal then it wouldn't be a something you could choose not to do, it would be a mandatory, integral part of the story -  this seems like very important information, right? If we don't do this quest, and just move on then in the world and in a story sense, MC wouldn't know that there's technically no Aideen to look for. It doesn't make sense if this is really what they're going to do...Unless it's not and this is just Catherine's opinions on the matter.

Overall, I'm just not a believer yet - I still think this is just Catherine's thoughts. As @sso-emberwood said, the only one who could actually tell us anything for sure is Fripp. He knows way more than everyone in the Keepers of Aideen. But he's sick still, and has been since 2017 the poor guy. I don't think we should assume anything yet, and I certainly don't think the game has changed directions. If it did, I'll be honest with yall - my interest would not be the same and I think it would be that way for a lot people as well and I think that's fair. You can't just come in and suddenly change the route of something that has been hinted at and is supposed to be the point of the game, it just doesn't make any sense. If so, then there's no need for this game or for a 5th rider.

[thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild]

Writing Tips (Pt. 3): Writing Believable and shippable relationships in literature.

Hello friends! First of all, let me say a HUGE thank you for the support on the Kataang post! I worked really hard on it and it means so much to me all the little notes you give it and reblog it! I know it’s not at a huge number of notes, but I like knowing that people took time to read through the endless rant and reblog it! I’m planning on doing another full analysis on Zutara and why specifically it doesn’t work. I’ll make it respectful though as I know that a lot of Kataang fans are REALLY defensive and anti-zutara. I promise I’m not one of those people, and believe that no matter who you ship, your opinions on fictional characters are your opinions and you are FULLY entitled to ship and like whatever you want (as long as it’s not incest or a huge age gap. PLEASE don’t ship that stuff lol. U nasty mfs know who u are.) Speaking of ships, let’s talk about writing them. Writing ships for movies, books, shows, etc. can be surprisingly hard. Writing characters themselves can be hard enough as it is, but writing a pair of characters that fit together like a puzzle piece can feel impossible. Nevertheless, I’m here to make that process a little bit easier. When I’m trying to set up a relationship that’s going to happen, here are some things that I keep in mind to make sure that I and the audience of my writing  ship the characters I have end up together. 

DISCLAIMER before I get a’rantin: I am by NO means telling you how or what to write and am by NO means a professional writer of any sorts. I’m doing this mostly because I write a lot and speak from my own personal experiences with writing and because these are just the things that I found work best when writing my own stories. I also read and analyze a lot of others work on my own personal time, and these are just the details that I pick up on that I find makes a piece of writing effective. With that in mind, remember that writing is and art form, and the beauty of that is that there’s no one right way to do it. Ever. You can read the same thing as another person and interpret it in a completely different and unique way. 

1. Complementary Characters usually work out best. 

This is more than the classic “opposite’s attract” theory, and characters don’t necessarily have to be opposite to be complementary. Some things to think about when thinking of and writing complementary characters:

-Complementary doesn’t necessarily mean complete opposite in every single way. Often times I find it much more helpful to have characters share a common interest in hobbies, upbringing, childhood trauma (that one’s a bit overdone these days), etc. so that they’re not butting heads all the time. Just like yin and yang, theres a bit of darkness in the light and vice versa. To keep the balance harmonious, you can’t have characters be polar opposites and have no common ground. That leads to what many people consider a toxic ship, and will either lead to an unrealistic balance that inevitably leads your characters to be fighting all the time. 

-Keeping common interests in mind, often times the paces where character’s contrast is in their personalities. (Shy and bold, heart and head, bubbly and brooding, quiet and gregarious, etc.) Different personalities often are able to balance each other out and hold each other accountable for their weaknesses.

-Going off of that, one character’s strength is another’s weakness, and all traits are both. A character’s empathy can lead them to be loved by many, but may cause them to starve themselves and drain their cup so there’s none left to take care of themselves. A character’s logic may lend them top of class or calm in stressful situations, but can lead them to be insensitive to others and even their own emotions. Your characters should balance each other out and work well together, and part of this is helping each other grow from their weakness. 

-This one isn't as important, but what I also find super compelling, especially in film and tv shows is when the authors/writers deliberately choose to give the characters complementary color palettes. (I dove more into this on my Kataang analysis so go read that if you’re super interested.) If the character’s look ascetically pleasing together, it makes shipping them a whole lot easier. Focus on orange and blue, yellow and purple, red and green, and any variation of those colors together. 

2. Buildup

Often times one of the biggest critiques of ships that just don’t work out is that there’s not enough buildup or foundation to have a romantic relationship. It seems obvious, but if you’re going to have them end up together, there’s going to need to be some buildup or else the entire relationship will feel wrong and contrived no matter how pleasant you make it. 

Some tips for increasing and establishing buildup:

-Have your otp spend time together as friends first. I personally find that the healthiest and most successful ships are friends before they’re lovers. This is why Kataang specifically works so well, but Korrasami, Romionie, and Liesel and Rudy from the Book Thief are all good examples. If you observe these ships, all of these characters spend time together as friends first. Korra and Asami were able to bond and become friends over a toxic guy (cough cough MAKO) and eventually developed feelings for one another. Ron and Hermione weren’t romantically interested in other people and were friends until they started seeing other people and found out they liked each other. Liesel and Rudy were best friends before anything else and Liesel didn’t realize her feelings until it was too late. 

-Time together. When your otp spends time together, make sure that whatever time is being spent together is time that they both enjoy. No, the activity itself doesn’t have to be enjoyable to both characters, but the time spent together should be. If the characters really aren’t enjoying the time spent together, then it’s never gonna work out. I’ll use the ship that I’m writing as an example. Currently, I’m in the process of writing a third atlas series and we’ll use my characters Liang and Hana. (Yea I used my own name for one of my characters. I think it suits her bc she’s basically my clone, just, she’s the avatar. I’m going to change both of their names once I do more research and can find culturally and historically accurate names.) Liang REALLY loves pro-bending matches. Hana, not so much. She still goes with him to see matches and attends his matches when she can. On the flip side, Hana really loves going to her favorite tea shop. Liang vastly prefers a strong cup of coffee, but he goes with her anyways. Why would they choose to do something that they don’t necessarily like? Because that’s more quality time spent with each other and doing something for the other person. 

3. Romantic Gestures

Going off of my last point, we have the art of romantic gestures. These can range to things anywhere from a hug, to an elaborate firework display, to a locket with both of their pictures in it. Make sure that the romantic gestures are there! It’s gotta be clear that both characters are thinking about one another and consciously choose to do something for the other person. Here are some fun ways to do it:

-Remembering a gift the other character wanted. This one’s cliche but it works, because often times the best way to show affection is through physical gifts and objects. Think coffee from a favorite shop, handwritten notes, that piece of clothing the other has been eyeing, etc. 

-~symbolism~ *add chime here* By that I mean have an object to symbolize their relationship with, like Korrasami’s iconic hair pin or Liesel’s book that Rudy retrieved for her. This way, the readers not only have a visual representation of their favorite ships, but the object can physically link characters together and make a vague relationship full cannon. (I know for sure that someday when I get a tattoo, I want the hairpin tattooed on my wrist, ankle or side of my body.) 

-PDAs. Works best in film and visual stuff, but still applies for everything. I’m talking cuddles, kisses, falling asleep in each other’s arms, the whole shebang. I mean how much clearer can you make it than a pda?

-Love languages. Each person loves in their own unique way. Have characters figure out and learn each other’s love language. It really shows and adds a whole other layer to the cake. This one can make a ship that feels a little bland have more depth and realism, because in the real world, healthy relationships are formed and aided by learning and applying each other’s love language. 

4. Dialogue. This one can be hard to master, but once you do, it’s a breeze. First off, I recommend getting all your ideas out, and editing. DON’T EDIT AS YOU GO! This is often tedious and super annoying, so get everything out first, and go from there once you have a decent amount to work with. Dialogue is tricky, because dialogue in and of itself is meant to communicate and express feelings. Here are some tips and steps to at least get a start: 

a. Know EXACTLY how your characters feel about one another, and make that evident through communication. It seems obvious (again) but this really helps and I find that putting myself in the character’s shoes for a second and really thinking about it helps to decide exactly what they would say in a given situation, especially if the scene you’re writing involves confrontation about feelings for one another. 

b. Dialogue is more than just talking. Body language, tone, facial expressions, etc. are all part of dialogue too and are SUPER important! In the real world, humans communicate through more than just words, and sometimes a playful grin, grimace, crossed arms, or pout is much more effective than a character outright saying something. 

c. Once you’ve written the dialogue out, be concise and smart about your dialogue and pare it down as much as you can. Often times, adding too much dialogue can make a scene boring and flat. Use your words sparingly! The purpose of writing is to covey a story or message and often times this can be done effectively with less words rather than more. The main point in dialogue itself is to provide necessary context and information. Otherwise, don’t use it.

d. Make sure the conversation is two sided. This (say it with me now) SEEMS OBVIOUS, but make sure that both people are talking/communicating. it’s a conversation, not a speech. (Unless it is a speech or declaration of some sort.)

Before I go: A QUICK (Long) PSA ON TOXIC SHIPS: 

The concept of a toxic ship is very common in a lot of literature. Often times writers choose to include elements that may be toxic to heighten romantic tension in a story. While I do recognize that this sometimes may be a stylistic choice, there are MUCH better and effective ways to create tension that having something be toxic. Toxic relationships in my opinion share one purpose, and that is to establish a relationship’s toxicity and ineffectiveness. I don’t recommend writing these into a story unless it’s an obstacle for your characters to overcome, and having a character forgive the toxic actions of another character and still end up with them isn’t the right move because it completely disregards and diminishes the effects of what happened previously.

One of the best examples I can think of is Reylo from the new sw trilogy. I did touch on this briefly in a couple of my earlier posts (The Effect Of Modern Day SW characters and My Tips for Writing (In General) which I highly suggest you go read bc they both took me a bit of time and state the purpose more in depth) but I think I’ll quick reiterate and say that it wasn’t a good choice on the writer’s part to have some of the dialogue be so intense and vicious and then have them end up together. I still like the idea of Ben Solo and Rey together and ship them together out of cannon, but in cannon, it’s the perfect example of an ineffective ship. There was little to no build up, the dialogue was often spiteful and sharp, and it escalated a bit too quickly. I would’ve liked to see more of Ben Solo (NOT Kylo) and him feeling sorry for and repenting for the bad that he’s done before he and Rey end up together. Yes, we’re all suckers for the enemies to lovers trope, but PLEASE make sure to filter out the toxins before boarding your ships and watching them sail. 

That’s it for now! I hope this helps a little when writing shippable characters! I’m always free to rant to and to critique. I’m going to start posting as much as I can, because these guides help me too! Check out my other ones if you’d like to know tips for writing in general and I made another one on how to write characters. 

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Bonus 3.2 - Dangan Salmon Team (Still Kaito Edition)

This is postgame content, so people shouldn’t be reading this without having already finished the main game anyway. But just to be safe: while this is non-canon character stuff, I will sometimes be mentioning events that happened in the main story, so there will be spoilers for the main game.

[If you’ve found yourself here on this post because I linked to it elsewhere while talking about Kaito and friendship, the stuff I was most likely referring to is discussed in the “Hangout invitations” section.]

Last time on Love Across the Universe: Dangan Salmon Team (did you know that SPACE), we covered all of what the game calls “dates” – but that I insistently called “hangouts” because fuck the romantic undertones of this mode – with Kaito. Yes, all forty-five of them. Yes, I had something of at least some substance to say about close enough to all of them that it didn’t feel right leaving out only the tiny few for which I kind of didn’t. Kaito is the best and is almost always being at least an adorable dork but also so often a fascinating and complex character even in silly bonus fluff like this – especially when it involves him hanging out with Shuichi, who is after all the focal point of most of his issues.

This time, we still have plenty more Kaito content from this mode to cover, including the best part!

Let’s warm up with some opening acts before we get to the main event, though. Aside from the actual hangouts we did last time, there’s some other little snippets of dialogue in this mode that may seem straightforward and inconsequential but that I still have stuff to say about. When I said I’d be covering practically everything Kaito says in this mode, I wasn’t kidding.

FTE invitations

So obviously I’ve already done Kaito’s FTEs, and the game remembers that and won’t have them happen again for me in this mode (which is just as well, really, because his final one definitely belongs in its canon context of chapter 4!). But there are still unique lines that Kaito has in this mode for if Shuichi chooses to hang out with him for what would be an FTE.

Kaito:  “You came to invite me, right? Well of course! You’re my sidekick!”

-      Spend time with Kaito

Kaito:  “Today I’m going to tell you about the best places in the universe for adventures. I guarantee it’ll light a fire in your heart for the universe!”

Shuichi:  (We discussed the most adventurous places in the universe…)

Look at Kaito excitedly telling Shuichi about SPACE. But it’s also very him that he’s not telling Shuichi facts about space or anything more scientific – this is apparently about the best places in space to have adventures. Which is to say, tiny Kaito who had all his totally-true heroic adventures on sea and on land definitely also thought a lot about what kinds of heroic adventures he would be having when he got into space, and he’s telling Shuichi all about those now. What a dork.

Kaito:  “Oh, this is perfect! I wanted to talk to you!”

-      Spend time with Kaito

Kaito:  “Just what I’d expect from my sidekick! Let’s talk it out, man-to-man! You understand? Don’t tell this stuff to the others.”

Shuichi:  (Kaito and I had a heart-to-heart between men…)

This one is really curious. It sounds on the surface like Kaito is referring to something like talking about what girls they like, or some other gendered, stereotypically masculine thing. But since that was never what Kaito’s concept of manliness was ever about, that cannot possibly be what’s happening here.

Based on Kaito’s actual concept of manliness having a focus on being true to yourself and open about your intentions, I’d want to think that his idea of a “man-to-man” talk would involve something along the lines of him and Shuichi being open with each other, and therefore talking to each other about… their emotions and issues and problems? That does fit as something that he’d hypothetically not want Shuichi to tell anyone else about, but, that is definitely not what happened either for obvious reasons.

I honestly don’t think that Kaito ever sees himself hiding his weakness as him compromising his idea of being a “man”, though. The “being true to yourself” concept is less about how you feel and more about who you are, or at least who you want to be. And of course Kaito doesn’t want to be weak and struggling, so the fact that he maybe is is totally irrelevant and definitely not something that a “man” would need to actually open up about, not when he should be focusing on being the inspiring hero he wants to be. It’s kind of like how him denouncing Kokichi for putting a mask over his true face in trial 4 really wasn’t actually that hypocritical – because Kaito may have been hiding his weakness, but he was never hiding his intentions, which were to help everyone around him as much as he could.

So ultimately I’m not entirely sure what Kaito would actually think of as a “man-to-man talk”, especially one that he doesn’t want Shuichi telling anyone else about. Which leaves me very confused as to what kind of conversation he and Shuichi did have here.

Kaito:  “Hey, I was looking for you, man! We’re gonna hang out today, right?”

-      Spend time with Kaito

Kaito:  “A sidekick wouldn’t pick anyone besides the hero. That’s just crazy! Well, now that I’m thinking about it, sidekicks…”

Shuichi:  (I listened to Kaito’s thoughts about sidekicks…)

Dammit, don’t fade to black there, game, I am itching to hear Kaito’s thoughts about sidekicks! Obviously I’m already perfectly aware of exactly what he thinks about them, but it’s still not something that Kaito himself has ever explicitly talked about. It’d be really interesting to hear him describe his idea of a “sidekick” in his own words! Why would you tease us by telling us a conversation about this happened but then not show it to us.

Kaito:  “Why the long face? You wanna talk about something?

-      Spend time with Kaito

Kaito:  “My sidekick’s worries are mine. My worries are my sidekick’s! Talk to me about anything, man! Don’t keep any secrets from me!”

Shuichi:  (I spent the whole time asking Kaito for advice…)

Of course this is here. Of course there’s at least one instance of Kaito immediately assuming Shuichi needs something and offering support before Shuichi’s even said anything yet.

Given that there’s nothing in the general context of this situation that would make Kaito be super desperate for Shuichi to need his help like in chapter 4, and that Shuichi does end up asking him for advice here apparently without any resistance, I’m going to assume Kaito’s judgement this time was correct and he picked up that Shuichi genuinely was feeling down and needed a boost. But the reminder of Kaito’s tendency to do this before even being asked for help is fun. The line between him being selflessly supportive and him being dysfunctionally co-dependent is a thin line, but both sides of it are excellent.

Also here’s another reprise of “Your worry is my worry; my worry is your worry”, or close enough anyway, which is still every bit as delightfully false and hypocritical as it was before. (Except Kaito is actually just saying “your worry is my worry” twice over, so there’s nothing false or hypocritical about it at all, right?)

Gift dialogues

While I’m here pretending to do FTEs with Kaito, it also means I get to give him presents and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t like them. His responses for gifts he likes are fairly straightforward enthusiastic gratitude, but it is interesting to see how he reacts when he’s given something he doesn’t particularly care for.

(These bits of dialogue for FTE gifts aren’t unique to this mode, of course, but it wouldn’t have been very canon to bring the negative ones up during the main story.)

Kaito:  “Huh? What’s this? Where’d you get it? Well, if it’s a gift from you, then I’ll totally accept it.”

This is a pretty cute response – he doesn’t care about the thing at all, but Shuichi gave it to him out of thinking he’d like it, so he’ll keep it anyway just as a token of the fact that his sidekick wanted to give him something nice. (Or, these lines also apply to Kaede giving him gifts, but he respects her a lot, so it’d be the same sentiment with her, too.)

On the other hand, sometimes you can catch him with a less optimistic outlook about this…

Kaito:  “You’ve got a bunch of stuff, huh? You’re not just trying to unload some garbage on me, right?”

It’s really interesting – and kind of sad – that Kaito thinks Shuichi might actually be doing that. Surely he’d believe in how much his sidekick cares about him and that Shuichi would have carefully thought about each gift, even if sometimes he’s mistaken in what Kaito would like? But apparently it can at least cross Kaito’s mind that Shuichi really might callously unload random stuff on him without caring.

Kaito:  “Are you kidding me? What am I supposed to do with this? What’s up with you? This isn’t like you, man!”

This kind of reaction, even though it’s a more negative response to the gift, is Kaito being more reasonable. He expected his sidekick (or Kaede) to know better than to give him something he obviously wouldn’t like, but he’s just putting it down to them having a lapse of judgement while meaning well.

Kaito:  “Did you really think I’d like something like this? C’mon, man… Are you making fun of me? Nah, you wouldn’t, but…”

But again, sometimes… apparently it’s possible for Kaito to think that Shuichi could just be making fun of him. He brushes the thought off as not like Shuichi, but then he lingers on the “but”, suggesting it’s still what he’s thinking even if he doesn’t want to admit it to himself.

The fact that he’s capable of thinking that really brings to mind his “Aren’t you my sidekick? Was that… just a lie?” from trial 4 that implied a tiny part of him has always been afraid that Shuichi was only ever playing along with the whole sidekick thing while secretly mocking him. Which is a mindset that doesn’t really apply in this bonus mode in which Shuichi hasn’t been effortlessly saving everyone in trials and so Kaito has no obvious reason to feel inferior… but keep in mind that these gift dialogues were originally written for the main game.

(Kaito, if you’re worried about this, just talk to Shuichi about it, he would immediately be more than happy to reassure you that he’d never do that to you. But no, of course Kaito cannot possibly be worried about anything, and so he’d just not say a word and let that worry build up and eat away at him and goddammit Kaito.)

This idea that Kaito would briefly think the gift-giver might be making fun of him also works well enough for Kaede, who is basically as dismissive of his overblown Kaito-ness as anyone else is in chapter 1, and whom Kaito also looks up to and probably secretly feels a little inferior to thanks to her being a better leader than him.

During this bad-gift-giving session, I learned something about the emotional support robot orca which makes me Very Disappointed (see the linked post if you haven’t already for context about this). Turns out it’s not actually a hated gift for Kaito after all; it’s just a neutral one. The third comment of Kaito’s that I just quoted can in fact apply to a neutral or a hated gift, and I guess the chart that I was using for reference got that comment when they gave him the orca and assumed it was hated. I spent a very long time throwing orcas at Kaito to confirm this.

(And yes, you’re welcome for the mental image of Shuichi doing literally that. Maybe he’s trying to not-so-subtly imply that he wants to help and support Kaito with his problems, too. Not that Shuichi would ever realise Kaito has problems without some kind of outside spurring, so this wouldn’t actually happen (yet), but.)

…I am even more sad about the orca not being a hated gift after a reader went and drew actual fanart about this because of me, for what has turned out to be just a totally mistaken assumption on my part. Can we just pretend Kaito hates getting one anyway? It makes so much in-character sense for him to do so, and apparently I was not the only one who really liked being able to think of it as a thing. And it would fit perfectly in particular for Kaito to respond with the fourth and most negative of the above quotes when being given one by Shuichi – because that’s Shuichi implying he realises Kaito needs support, meaning, surely, that Shuichi really was just lying about being his sidekick and actually was secretly looking down on him and making fun of him this whole time? Damn it, writers, why did you not realise this should be a thing when deciding on Kaito’s gift preferences. I’m at least glad that the chart I used hit the one-in-three chance of mistakenly labelling this gift as hated so that I could accidentally make this a thing.

During some other testing I did to confirm this, I also discovered that a gift called the Death Flag gives most characters a reaction even worse than the regular bad gift dialogues. This is more than just something they dislike and don’t want; the act of giving it seems to be taken as an insult. It is, after all, basically as if the giver is callously telling them they’re going to die.

Kaito:  “Hey… we can still pretend it was just a joke, so put that away.”

Seeing Kaito’s line for this when I wasn’t expecting it kind of punched me in the gut. It’s more subtly hostile than he ever usually is. He really does not want to get angry at Shuichi, but he’s probably worried he’s about to if they don’t immediately pretend this never happened.

(And, uh, remember this line was originally written for the canon storyline, for half of which Kaito knew he was dying. …Not that Shuichi would ever actually genuinely try to imply that he thinks Kaito is going to die, what the hell, I feel kind of terrible for making him do this.)

Anyway let’s stop being unkind to Kaito in a way that’s obviously out of character for Shuichi just to see how he reacts, and move on.

Hangout invitations

There’s also some more little snippets of dialogue I discovered in this mode – turns out there’s a mechanic in which characters whose FTEs you’ve maxed will occasionally show up at Shuichi’s door on their own to ask him for a hangout. (Unfortunately, the character just appears in Shuichi’s room without there being any kind of doorbell-ringing first, meaning you sadly don’t get to learn that it’s Kaito who’s about to invite you out before you even see him based on how enthusiastically the doorbell just rang.)

Kaito:  “You free right now, man? I just really feel like talking to you.”

Kaito was the first character this happened with while I was playing, and it really made me smile. Obviously I knew that this was just a mechanic which could apply to any character, but still. This is Kaito being the one to initiate spending time with Shuichi – but in a way that’s not in the hero-and-sidekick context of Kaito wanting to help Shuichi with his problems. He doesn’t mention that here at all, even though you know the writers totally could have made this bit of dialogue about that, too. Kaito’s realised that he also enjoys just spending time with Shuichi as a friend and wanted to do that! That’s actually a really big deal coming from him.

On the other hand, alternatively (there’s two randomly-picked lines he can have if this happens):

Kaito:  “Alright, Shuichi! Let’s hang out! Well, you don’t really have a choice but to spend time with me, right?”

…this one is quite a bit more pushy. (Remember, he has shown up at Shuichi’s door uninvited to ask to hang out here.) It almost seems like Kaito is worried Shuichi might not want to hang out with him as his friend rather than his sidekick and is covering that up by insisting that obviously Shuichi couldn’t possibly want to do anything else.

-      Accept

Kaito:  “Yeah! No way my sidekick would hang out with anyone but me!”

His response if you accept (which seems to always be this regardless of which initial line of dialogue you got) comes across as kind of needy, too. As does his “A sidekick wouldn’t pick anyone besides the hero” back in the FTE invitations, for that matter. It’s like he’s telling himself that as the hero to Shuichi’s sidekick, he gets automatic Hero Privileges above all of Shuichi’s friends. Which he sort of does, but that’s because them being hero and sidekick already means that they’re particularly close friends. It’s not because it’s a separate thing from a friendship.

But… Kaito seems to kind of think it is. Even though he wants to hang out as friends, Kaito assumes that the only reason Shuichi accepts is because he’s his sidekick. As though, if Shuichi weren’t his sidekick, he’d have no reason to want to spend time with Kaito at all.

-      Politely decline

Kaito:  “If you’re busy, then it's fine… No big deal… I mean, it happens.”

Also quite needy is Kaito’s response if you turn him down. The first sentence alone would have sounded natural, but the more he adds, the more awkward it gets. This might sound like Kaito being passive-aggressive at Shuichi about being turned down, but he wouldn’t do that. So what it must be is Kaito trying to reassure himself that it really is just because Shuichi’s busy and these things happen and it doesn’t mean that Shuichi doesn’t want to spend any time with him at all.

If this were in the context of chapter 4, I’d be saying something very different about what’s going on here, but this isn’t chapter 4. What I’m getting from this instead is that it’s Kaito being kind of awkward and unsure when it comes to doing regular friendship. He’s fine when Shuichi’s the sidekick who’s having struggles and needing Kaito’s advice and support (so long as this isn’t the main story in which Shuichi has been the real hero in the trials and maybe doesn’t really need him after all). But when it’s not about their hero-and-sidekick thing and Kaito just wants to hang out with Shuichi anyway for reasons unrelated to supporting him? He’s subtly insecure as to whether Shuichi would even want to.

This is a concept that didn’t really come up much in the main story, but that’s because there was mortal peril and Shuichi was having a lot more issues and struggles and so Kaito was very firmly in hero-and-sidekick mode the whole time. It’s only in a context like this where there’s less to worry about and they’re supposed to be hanging out as friends (shush, Monokuma totally mentioned platonic friendship) that this becomes more noticeable.

If you think about it, it does actually make some level of sense that Kaito might not be very experienced in having regular friends. He’s always been kind of an awkward goof whenever we’ve seen him trying to interact with people on a down-to-earth level. His personality is naturally very larger-than-life, and he’d refuse to ever try and mask that because then it wouldn’t be him. That’s fine when he’s having sidekicks and him being this way helps to inspire them, but for regular everyday interactions, he probably comes off as a bit… Much, perhaps to the point that it’s a little offputting for some people.

Kaito’s behaviour towards Shuichi in his earlier FTEs, the ones that almost certainly happened before he started considering Shuichi his sidekick, showed that his idea of how to try and make someone his friend (rather than his sidekick) was to force them to listen to completely ridiculous stories about his own “heroics”. That was not, in fact, a very ideal way to make friends at all – Shuichi mostly seemed bewildered and perhaps just a little bit annoyed by the whole thing – but Kaito didn’t appear to have any better ideas. And his idea of how to make friends with Kaede, upon being excited by how similar they were and wanting her to share his enthusiasm about that, was to ask her for a hug out of nowhere, which definitely was not the right way to go about things.

Plus, that story he told in his second FTE hinted that Kaito might have had a falling out with his at-the-time best friend when he was young, one that never got resolved and that he then wrapped up in his ridiculous heroic fiction rather than think about what actually happened. If that is the case, then maybe Kaito being too offputtingly over-the-top for his former friend’s liking was the reason why. There was also that one bit in a hangout last post where Kaito seemed worried by the idea of being different from Shuichi, like he was afraid this’d make Shuichi less inclined to be his friend – almost as if he’d had this problem in the past. (That’s probably why he was so excited at seeing that Kaede was so similar to him, leading him to be so inappropriately forward in his awkward attempt to befriend her.)

[This kind of thing also incidentally happens to be Kaito being extremely neurodivergent-coded, and I love him for it.]

This could in fact be a large part of why Kaito got so big on the whole sidekick thing. If someone needs his support, then him being ridiculous and over-the-top, like he can’t help but be, is inspiring and helpful rather than weird and offputting, and so he can be more sure they’ll stick around – but also more convinced that him supporting them is the only reason they’re sticking around. Of those former sidekicks he mentioned in his FTEs, several of them were significantly older than him, so it would be very easy for Kaito to assume that they probably didn’t consider him an actual friend beyond their sidekick arrangement and would only be there for as long as they needed his support and advice. Kaito may well have already been a little bit co-dependent even before the killing game in canon made it worse.

(That doesn’t change the fact that he genuinely cares and wants to help those people, of course. The unhealthy part is the part where this may have become Kaito’s only way of forming and maintaining bonds with others.)

It’s a good thing Kaito has Shuichi, then! They started properly bonding over Shuichi needing help and being a sidekick, but he’s more than just a sidekick. Shuichi realised after he started training that he enjoys Kaito’s company not so much because Kaito’s a strong invincible hero, but rather just because he’s a ridiculous impulsive carefree goof, and Shuichi finds that kind of outlook refreshing and helpful to be around. Shuichi has always seen Kaito as not just a hero but a friend. So if anyone could break Kaito out of this cycle, could help him realise that he’s already better at friendship than he thought he was and doesn’t need to cling to the sidekick thing as his only way of keeping people by his side, it’s Shuichi.

Harmonious Heart

And on that note, it’s time for the main event for this mode! The piece de resistance, the reason we’re all here, this game’s single best piece of non-main-story Kaito content that I consider basically Required Reading for anyone who cares about understanding what makes Kaito tick, is his Harmonious Heart event.

…Okay, so I have already talked about this at quite some length in my big general ramble about Kaito’s character arc which I reblogged here. But this commentary gives me the excuse to talk about it in line-by-line detail, as well as to talk about it more as a story in its own right rather than just as a delightful source of vital information about the core of Kaito’s issues. So you can be damn sure I’m going to take the chance to do that.

Honestly, I call this my favourite piece of non-main-story Kaito content, but it might also be one of my favourite pieces of Kaito content in general. Obviously the canon story has just so many moments that are positively dripping with Kaito’s delightful issues, but… this is still pretty up there with the best of them.

I should mention that actually seeing all of this event is even more inconvenient than the hangouts were. It has a small, completely random chance of popping up instead of the regular options whenever you do a hangout somewhere, and then there are four different outcomes, only one of which can be got per playthrough. So I actually had to do four playthroughs of this mode to see all of this. I am very grateful for the people who bothered to record/transcribe all the outcomes of Harmonious Heart events onto Youtube/the wiki, making it quite easy for people to see all of these if they’re interested, because otherwise I imagine far fewer people ever would. And as I have already mentioned, this event is so important for understanding Kaito’s character; everybody who cares about Kaito should see all four of these outcomes and it makes me sad to think there are probably still a large fraction of such people who haven’t.

I managed to happen across this event basically by chance only a month or so after seeing the main game, and I’m so glad it didn’t take me longer than that, because it significantly influenced and improved my understanding of Kaito’s issues and why he so stubbornly hid everything he was going through in canon. This then led to me thinking about Kaito in even more depth than I already had and wanting to put some content out there that really talks about all this stuff, and… long story short, there’s a chance this very commentary wouldn’t be here if this event didn’t exist.

Kaito:  “…”

Shuichi:  (I wonder what’s wrong? Kaito looks deep in thought…)

Kaito:  (Damn it…)

Shuichi:  (Huh? That voice just now. Is that…?  Is that Kaito’s inner thoughts…?)

Featuring Shuichi’s inexplicable mindreading powers that he spontaneously developed because of the strength of his bond with Kaito, I guess?

Not that I mind how inexplicable this is, because it is vital. The thing that’s so excruciating about Kaito’s problems in canon is how easily Shuichi could help him with them if only he knew about them. But he has no idea, because he idolises Kaito too much to assume there could be anything wrong with him, and because Kaito never talks about any of it. So it is practically necessary for some kind of inexplicable supernatural intervention to bring Kaito’s issues to light in order for Shuichi to help him, and that’s what’s happening here.

(Also, man it makes an interesting change to be using brackets and not speech marks for Kaito. It would have been so, so fun if we’d been able to see inside his head for the whole game.)

Kaito:  (What if we really gotta stay here forever…?)

Even though Kaito should know that he’s actively working towards their escape by befriending Shuichi like this, he’s still finding himself having brief pessimistic thoughts about whether things would really be this easy and Monokuma would really let them go just like that.

(And if he can’t help but worry like this about the relatively minor concerns in this AU, then please take a moment to imagine the far worse thoughts he’d have been plagued with in canon, where people have died and he is dying and there is no apparent means of escape for all of them together.)

Kaito:  (No, what am I saying…? I won’t accept this! No way!)

Of course, this is Kaito, who utterly refuses to acknowledge negative or painful thoughts, so he immediately shoots it down and pushes himself to stay determined.

It’s very important to note, though, that he’s still having that negative thought and needing to shoot it down consciously. Again, here’s proof that Kaito cannot completely lie to himself about things that are worrying him, even if he still hates dwelling on them and tries to stay as positive as he can.

Which he should! Maybe it’s somewhat less of a good idea for him to shoot down his worries in canon about the whole dying thing when that’s a problem he should really be addressing and not forcing himself to ignore. But most of the time, for most of Kaito’s problems, including this one here, he’s already doing his best to do something about it. And in that case, worrying about something you’re already doing your best to fix isn’t going to help; it’s just going to make you feel bad unnecessarily. Don’t wallow in your bad feelings when you could be doing something to make it better! This is Kaito instinctively following the advice he always gives to others!

Kaito:  (Damn it… For me to be this weak… It’s not like me…)

But… Kaito doesn’t realise that.

Really, this part could work if the weak spot was on the word “weak”, because I would very much like to contest the idea that the thought he was having was even weakness in the first place. Everyone has negative and pessimistic thoughts sometimes! That’s human! What should matter is how you deal with them, and clearly Kaito just dealt with his in a way that he ought to consider strong.

Yet the fact that he just did what he believes people should always do and overcame his worry means nothing next to the fact that he had that worry in the first place. Other people are allowed to be “weak” so long as they’re fighting to overcome their weakness, but not him. He’s not allowed to be anything less than invincible.

And suddenly, this has become the thing he’s worrying about – not the fleeting thought that they might not escape, but the thought that he’s being weak and he’s not supposed to be this way.

Kaito:  (I can’t let Shuichi see me like this… I can’t show weakness in front of my sidekick…)

Which is especially bad because right now he happens to be in the same room as Shuichi. The reason he isn’t allowed to be weak is because his sidekicks need him to be strong. As a hero, he has to be the perfect invincible pillar of support for his sidekicks, and if he isn’t, if his sidekicks see that he isn’t, then how could he ever do anything for them any more?

Way back before I ever saw this event, I was trying to understand exactly why Kaito was so hypocritically determined to hide his weakness from his sidekicks. The most obvious idea was that it was out of selflessness, but simply in the sense that he didn’t want to cause his sidekicks more distress by worrying them. Another option that occurred to me was that it was more selfish than that, in terms of his pride, because he’d hate to shatter the heroic image he likes to give off.

Of course, the worry thing is very much part of it – but it’s not the main point. This event taught me the real answer: it is about his heroic image, but that image exists much less for himself and more for his sidekicks, to make them feel as if they can rely on him and to inspire them to be stronger. He hides his weakness in order to preserve his image out of selflessness, because he is so determined to support people who need it and so genuinely convinced those people would lose all the support they’ve been getting from him if they ever realised he was weak.

So not only would Kaito rather deal with his burdens alone, but he is adding to his burdens by making himself so afraid of letting his sidekicks down and depriving them of the support they need if he lets them see even the tiniest hint of weakness from him. Kaito acts casual and carefree on the surface when he’s with Shuichi and Maki – of course he does, he has to – but beneath that, this fear of showing weakness specifically to his sidekicks means that he is so often terrified just by being around the people he cares about most. And that’s heartbreaking?

And, again, this is an AU in which even just a very minor “weakness” is something that Kaito is afraid of showing to Shuichi. Just imagine how much more terrified he’d have been in canon when the weakness that he was at risk of showing to Shuichi and Maki was so much worse.

Shuichi:  (He seems deeply troubled by something…)

This is a stock line that Shuichi has in every Harmonious Heart event, but man is it incredibly appropriate in Kaito’s case here. A lot of the other characters’ thoughts in these events are about much more superficial things, or just more specific things that are only relevant to a particular event in their past, such that “deeply troubled” seems like a bit of an overstatement. But Kaito’s thoughts right here are the problem that’s at the root of everything that goes wrong between him and Shuichi in the main storyline and literally the reason he dies. We know just how badly Kaito wants to live, but this is worse than his fear of dying. He is so deeply troubled by the thought of showing weakness to his sidekicks that he would rather suffer a slow and painful death entirely alone. Damn right that deserves to be described like this.

I’m going to be going through the four outcomes from worst to best. So, time to fuck everything up and make things almost as bad as they were after trial 4.

Deny “It’s not like me…”

Shuichi:  “I don’t know about that, Kaito… It’s okay to be afraid sometimes…”

I love how, despite that this leads to the worst outcome, Shuichi is clearly still trying to help. None of the bad outcomes to this are caused by Shuichi having any kind of inexplicable bad intent; they’re just caused by him saying something with genuine good intentions that happened to set off Kaito’s issues and make things worse.

Shuichi is probably saying this specifically because it’s essentially something that Kaito has taught him. Kaito’s pep talks have never once tried to make Shuichi feel like he should be ashamed of being afraid, just so long as he’s trying to face those fears and become stronger. Really, Kaito should already understand this concept perfectly well himself! But… that’s for his sidekicks. He’s the hero, so clearly things are Different for him.

Kaito:  “It’s not like me to make others worry…”

Of course it isn’t. Causing other people emotional pain? Nope, that’s the complete opposite of what Kaito is always trying to do. How dare he ever do that, even if he never meant to and even if his own emotional pain is far worse than the worry he’s causing others by letting them see it.

Shuichi:  “I-I’m not trying to ‘worry’ about you or anything…”

But that really isn’t what Shuichi was doing, and even if it was, that’s not the point. This isn’t about how Shuichi feels bad because something’s up with Kaito; this is Shuichi trying to focus on how Kaito feels and find a way to help him feel better.

Kaito:  “It’s fine…”

Of course Kaito doesn’t see it that way, though, because Kaito always makes things about everyone except himself. It’s definitely nothing and Shuichi should stop worrying.

Kaito:  “What have I done? I’m so embarrassed. I’ve failed my sidekick…”

But despite insisting that it’s fine, Kaito is clearly not fine. He can’t even see Shuichi’s assurance that it’s okay to be afraid as the attempt to help him that it clearly was. All he can see is confirmation that, despite how desperately he was just telling himself he needs to hide it, Shuichi has seen his weakness.

Which is The Worst Thing he could possibly have allowed to happen. How could he have been such a terrible hero? This was exactly what he was so terrified of, and now it’s come true: he’s failed his sidekick. Shuichi is obviously never going to look up to him or be helped by him ever again now that he’s seen how weak Kaito is. All of that support and encouragement he’d been giving Shuichi has been dashed to pieces. Everything is ruined.

Kaito:  “Sorry, but can you leave me alone for a bit?”

So he asks to be left alone (while apologising for it, because of course this is completely his fault and something he deserves to feel bad about, right?).

And I really feel like he’s doing this because he’s about to have a rather more minor but basically analogous version of the breakdown he had at the end of chapter 4 after having so obviously (so he believed) shown himself to be weaker than Shuichi in the trial. He Will Not break down in front of Shuichi no matter what, but keeping up that mental barrier while in his presence, blocking out everything screaming at him about how badly he’s failed, has to be mentally exhausting. He probably wants the opportunity to be able to drop that and just let himself fall apart a little bit where nobody will see, just like when he wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible after coughing up blood at the end of trial 4.

Honestly, it’s a little hard to imagine that Kaito would be able to just casually continue hanging out with Shuichi after this, even though the game mechanics don’t care and allow that to happen anyway. I can very much picture this causing Kaito to do the equivalent of early chapter 5 in which he just awkwardly avoids Shuichi, because surely Shuichi wouldn’t want to hang out with him any more after having seen how pathetic he is?

And a relevant thing to note is that you can’t get the Harmonious Heart event again on the same playthrough after having had it once. I was kind of frustrated to learn that the game doesn’t let you try again to fix how much you screwed it up the first time, but then I thought about it and realised that actually, at least in Kaito’s case, that makes perfect sense. Given what just happened, Kaito is going to be clamming up even more in front of Shuichi, probably even to the point of completely avoiding him. He’d be even more determined not to let Shuichi get even the tiniest glimpse of weakness out of utter terror of making things even worse. There’s no way Shuichi would ever be able to get as far as seeing into his thoughts again in the first place.

At least in this context, Shuichi has a lot less reason to believe Kaito is angry at him – although maybe he’d feel guilty for unintentionally intruding on Kaito’s thoughts, especially ones as deeply personal as this, and might assume Kaito could be angry at him and therefore avoiding him for that reason. That is, however, something that Shuichi actually should apologise for, so he’d probably be able to get himself to do that. I doubt that would help that much, though, because that’s still not Kaito’s actual problem; regardless of whether Shuichi was wrong to intrude on Kaito’s thoughts, that doesn’t change what he heard  when he did so. Kaito knows that Shuichi’s never going to be able to unhear how weak he is, so how can he just pretend it never happened just because Shuichi didn’t mean to hear it?

(…Maybe upon realising that he’s not going to get anywhere with Kaito by just talking to him about it, this would be the point at which Shuichi would actually start repeatedly gifting him emotional support robot orcas, in a desperate attempt to communicate that I just want to help you, it’s okay to need support, please stop shutting me out.)

But now let’s move to a universe where Shuichi didn’t mess things up quite so badly. (I say “mess it up” like it was Shuichi’s fault, but it wasn’t. It was really on Kaito’s end for completely missing the point of his genuine desire to help.)

Affirm “I can’t show weakness in front of my sidekick…”

Shuichi:  “You never show me your weakness, Kaito.”

First, let’s stop and consider the fact that Shuichi has always looked up to Kaito and assumed he’s basically invincible – if he even did so in the killing game, where it’s way less reasonable to imagine anyone truly being invincible, then he’s definitely also doing so in this AU. Which means that this sudden insight into Kaito’s thoughts would be the very first time Shuichi ever properly realises that Kaito does have weaknesses in the first place. So maybe part of what’s going through Shuichi’s head as he says this is him reeling from the fact that, wait, Kaito has been having worries of his own this whole time and he never told me any of them, despite everything he keeps saying about sharing our worries?

Yet even though he’s probably saying this due to being taken aback by this realisation, Shuichi’s exasperated-but-worried expression as he says this also reads to me like he intends to follow it up with “but I wish you would, it’s okay, you don’t have to be afraid of that”. He is still saying this with an intent to help.

Kaito:  “Yeah! No way I’d do that. It’s as absurd as saying you’re an alien.”

But before Shuichi can get that far, Kaito just jumps on Shuichi’s first sentence and insists that yes, of course he’d never do that, that’s utterly absurd, why would Shuichi ever possibly think he would. Showing weakness to his sidekick is The Worst Possible Thing that would ruin everything and obviously he’d never be so terrible as to fail his sidekick that completely, what kind of hero does Shuichi even think he is!?

Shuichi:  “It’s not *that* absurd…”

Meanwhile, Shuichi, being on planet Earth and not Planet Kaito, is rather confused by this logic. Showing weakness to someone you trust isn’t absurd, it’s just human. (Does Kaito trust Shuichi? Not in this way, evidently. He doesn’t trust that Shuichi would still look up to him even if he knew about this, despite how obvious that is to anyone else who knows Shuichi even a little bit.)

Kaito:  “No, to me it’s a really big deal.”

It really is. Especially since this is why he fell apart at the end of chapter 4 and why he never told anyone he was dying until it was far too late to save him. It’s honestly a little surprising that we actually get Kaito somewhat acknowledging what a big deal this is to him here… but I suppose so long as he does so without actually showing any weakness, then it’s fine; he’s just explaining an important principle of his that he’s definitely never going to break.

Kaito:  “But I can’t really shake this mood just yet…”

Of course he can’t. His worried mood started off just being about escaping, but then it quickly turned into him being even more worried about showing weakness to Shuichi, which is exactly the topic that the conversation is still on and that he’s just asserted would be absolutely unthinkable for him to ever do. That worry is not going to go away like that, and it’s also the exact kind of thing he can’t let Shuichi see. This is a positive-feedback loop of his fear of showing weakness being the very weakness that he’s afraid to show. He is still terrified of failing Shuichi as they speak.

Kaito:  “Sorry, but could you leave me alone for now?”

So he’s… running away from the situation, as the only way to ensure he won’t fail. He would rather pass up on a chance to hang out with Shuichi than keep risking that. (Also, apologising, because of course. To be fair, maybe an apology for not hanging out with his friend for such an irrational reason is warranted, but that’s definitely not what Kaito thinks he’s apologising for, is it.)

This one isn’t quite as bad an outcome as last time because at least Kaito doesn’t end up believing that he’s already failed. (It doesn’t seem like Kaito realises that Shuichi saw his thoughts this time, or at least he has some plausible deniability to himself about it – Shuichi would totally just make a comment like “You never show me your weakness” out of the blue because that’s just a definitely true statement, right?) But even so, this brought Kaito face-to-face with his fear of letting Shuichi down and made him really think about what he believes it’d mean if he did do that and how terrified he is of that happening. He’s probably not going to start actively avoiding Shuichi from here, because he’s obviously fine and obviously isn’t going to show any weakness to him, but all his interactions with Shuichi from this point on are likely to be undercut even more than they usually would with that constant fear of what if he *does*? What if he *fails*? Again, though he still emphatically did not mean to, Shuichi accidentally made things worse than they were before he said anything.

Before we move onto the better two outcomes, I noticed something regarding these two worst options here. Shuichi telling him “hey, no, it’s okay to be afraid” and Shuichi going “whoa, yeah, you really never do show me your weakness, do you” would probably both come about by Shuichi being very immediately reactionary and saying what first comes to mind when he hears Kaito’s thoughts. And it’s neat that those are the ones that unintentionally mess things up and make Kaito feel worse. This is a very delicate situation that needs to be approached in exactly the right way to get through to Kaito and not make him just shut Shuichi out even more, and to do that, Shuichi would need to stop and think more carefully about exactly how Kaito’s going to respond to his words and how best to get him to see sense.

Affirm “It’s not like me…”

Shuichi:  “…That’s true. You never back down from a challenge, do you, Kaito?”

It seems that this time, Shuichi’s decided to try and affirm Kaito’s stubbornness and determination and reassure him that he’s not weak. This still isn’t addressing the real core of the problem, but it seems likely to help on the surface.

This sentiment would perhaps work a little better if it really could be directed at the “For me to be this weak” statement, though. It would be more helpful to specifically tell Kaito that thinking something negative and then shooting it down isn’t actually weakness at all, reassuring him that what he thinks of as weakness in himself really isn’t. As it is, Kaito is liable to think that the only reason Shuichi called him strong is because he overlooked the part of Kaito that’s so weak in the first place. Which leaves exactly the same problem of making Kaito so afraid of showing that weakness after all and ruining that supposed illusion.

That said, Shuichi is still doing better than just a blanket affirmation that Kaito is strong. He’s saying that Kaito won’t back down from a challenge, which is a completely accurate assessment of what Kaito is like! He may struggle with things from time to time, but he refuses to give up and let that stop him!

But Kaito thinks in a far too black-and-white way about strength and weakness, at least when it comes to heroes like himself, so he’s not going to take it that way.

Kaito:  “Right!? No way a man who’s gonna explore the universe should freak out about this!”

It’s not that he was freaking out but then didn’t back down and refused to let it stop him – it’s that he definitely didn’t freak out at all in the first place, that’s definitely what Shuichi is saying and definitely what happened and he’s completely fine. Someone like him shouldn’t freak out about anything, because he’s a hero and that is not what heroes do – but at least Shuichi seems to be agreeing with him about that, right!?

Kaito:  “Especially to you.”

Kaito is implying here that, if he absolutely had to show weakness at all, he’d actually kind of prefer to do so not to a sidekick of his like Shuichi, but to a stranger, someone who doesn’t have any expectations of him and that he doesn’t have a responsibility towards.

Shuichi:  “…To me?”

Shuichi seems bewildered by this part in particular. Which does make sense – surely it’d be easier for Kaito to show weakness to someone he’s close to, like Shuichi, than to a complete stranger? That’s usually the case with most people, after all. Understanding why it’s the exact opposite of that for Kaito is the root of the problem, and Shuichi failed to figure that out in this version of events.

Kaito:  “I can’t show weakness in front of my sidekick.”

Just in case you weren’t sure how important this was, Kaito is reiterating it. It’s actually kind of surprising he’s even willing to say this out loud to Shuichi, since it implies that he might potentially have some kind of weakness that he’s choosing not to show. But, again, I suppose that so long as he doesn’t show any, then he can tell himself that all he’s doing by saying this is affirming his Heroic Responsibilities that he would obviously never let his sidekick down by breaking.

Kaito:  “Just forget about whatever it was you heard before.”

However, this is interesting, because it implies that Kaito is, to some extent, aware of the fact that Shuichi just heard his thoughts? Which you’d think would send him into the same kind of spiral of “oh god I’ve failed him” as the worst outcome, but apparently not quite. It seems that Shuichi responding by affirming Kaito’s strength is allowing Kaito to convince himself that it’s not that bad, Shuichi can’t possibly have noticed how weak he is from whatever he heard, because if he had then surely he’d have said so.

But Kaito’s still insisting Shuichi forgets about it, probably mostly so that he can forget about it and not have to worry about what might happen if Shuichi thinks too hard about the thoughts he heard. He’s basically just desperately trying to paper over the problem and ignore what just happened, convincing himself that so long as Shuichi didn’t mention seeing any weakness then he obviously mustn’t have seen any at all, and so it’s totally not a big deal that he might have just read Kaito’s thoughts while they were being so weak and negative and everything is fine, right!? Right!!!

Kaito:  “I was unsure for a sec, but now I’m overflowing with motivation!”

See, those negative thoughts he might have been maybe having for a second are totally gone now, so they might as well both pretend they never existed! He’s fine! Shuichi needn’t worry about a thing! Everything is fine.

Shuichi:  (He sounds like he’s hiding something…)

…But even Shuichi can tell now that he is not fine. Which is either because his glimpse into Kaito’s thoughts just now is letting him realise that these displays from Kaito aren’t as truthful as he once thought they were, or just because this particular display is especially strained and transparent.

The event doesn’t go any further than this, other than awkwardly mood-whiplashing us with Shuichi’s standard “I think this conversation went well” comment that he has for every good-but-not-great hangout outcome. It clearly did not go well! Shuichi managed to notice that! This is nominally a good outcome by the game’s metric, and admittedly it seems to be that way on the surface because look, Kaito is Totally Fine, nothing is wrong at all, and at least he didn’t end up asking Shuichi to leave him alone this time. But this has not remotely fixed Kaito’s problem either and is just perpetuating his desperate defence mechanisms.

In fact, if anything, the possibility that Shuichi might have got a glimpse of what’s beneath them is only going to make Kaito’s façade even more desperate and strained. Since Shuichi affirmed that he’s fine, Kaito can’t make an excuse to leave like in the other ones, because that’d be like admitting that Shuichi’s wrong and he’s not actually fine at all. So he has no choice but to keep hanging out with him and keep desperately pretending to be fine despite how badly he must be freaking out over the possibility of showing Shuichi that he isn’t. Things are yet again just a little bit worse despite Shuichi’s genuine attempt to help.

Shuichi would probably notice that Kaito seems kind of awkwardly distracted and distant during their continued hangouts and figure it has something to do with what happened here. After trying to prod Kaito about it verbally and getting a predictable complete lack of acknowledgement of a problem, Shuichi might become desperate enough to fix this awkwardness and figure out how to help Kaito that, against his better judgement, he decides to deliberately tap into his mindreading powers again. So he looks into Kaito’s thoughts during one of his distant moments to try and figure out what’s really bothering him about this…

…only to find Kaito THINKING VERY LOUDLY ABOUT SPACE, he can’t wait to go to SPACE, here are all the PLANETS HE CAN NAME.

Because Kaito knows now that somehow, inexplicably, Shuichi can hear his thoughts. Even if Shuichi totally didn’t hear anything bad last time it happened, that notion that he can hear them at all is terrifying to Kaito. He can’t even afford to think about the things that are worrying him while in Shuichi’s presence in case Shuichi hears it and becomes convinced that he really is weak. But of course, that very fear of doing that would then become the topic of his thoughts and make him worry even more and make everything even worse and make him even more likely to fail Shuichi and—

…And so, long story short, to avoid spontaneously combusting, Kaito hastily cobbled together a desperate coping mechanism of running mental interference by consciously forcing himself to think about something unrelated whenever he’s in Shuichi’s company. As a result, all of his interactions (SPACE) with Shuichi are awkwardly (BLACK HOLES) stilted, because he’s constantly focusing on (NEBULAS) trying to keep an inner monologue that (JUPITER) isn’t thinking about anything else (THE BIG DIPPER. THE BIG DIPPER!) except space. (While, of course, feeling utterly terrified beneath it of letting it slip for even a second, not that SPACE no he’s not scared of anytHING HE JUST REALLY LIKES SPACE)

…I’m not sure where this story ends. I mostly just wanted to get to the part with Kaito thinking loudly about space to drown out his other thoughts, because that’s a concept I’ve had in my head for ages that I wanted to share.

So anyway, let’s rewind things one last time and actually help Kaito at last.

Deny “I can’t show weakness in front of my sidekick…”

In this one, Shuichi has realised that this is the core of the problem. And that’s all he ever needed to do to fix this.

Shuichi:  “I’m your sidekick… but I’m also your friend, Kaito.”

Shuichi’s way of approaching this is adorable. Instead of telling Kaito how heroes are allowed to be weak sometimes and that doesn’t mean they’ve failed their sidekicks or make them any less heroic at all, he just throws all of that out of the window to focus on the fact that they’re friends.

Earlier in this post I got talking about how Kaito is so hung up on the idea that Shuichi is his sidekick that he isn’t even sure if he’s actually a regular friend beneath that. I’m really happy that happened to come up from those bits of bonus dialogue and deliberately went into it so much when it did because it’s a very important point that’s been contributing to his issues here.

The hero-and-sidekick thing is a useful way to frame their relationship in terms of how Kaito is helping Shuichi, but it inherently comes with all kinds of expectations, almost all of them on Kaito to continue to be that perfect and invincible hero, or else… or else Shuichi won’t have any reason to care about him any more? But friendship is so much simpler and with so many fewer expectations. Friends care about each other regardless of how strong or weak they are. Until now, Kaito wasn’t sure if Shuichi even was his friend outside of the whole sidekick deal, but… of course he is, you big moron.

Shuichi:  “Maybe you don’t show weakness to your sidekick. But you can to your friend.”

…I’m not sure I like how Shuichi is still saying it’s okay that Kaito insists he mustn’t show any weakness while he’s playing the hero role and Shuichi is being the sidekick. That’s still a totally misguided premise. (And Shuichi should be perfectly aware that heroes don’t need to be invincible to be inspiring, you’d think, based on his comments about fiction in trial 6.) But regardless, so long as what Shuichi’s saying about their friendship gets Kaito to realise that it’s okay for him to show weakness to Shuichi, that’s what really matters.

Kaito:  “…”

For once, Kaito isn’t responding immediately with some kind of fervent insistence that him showing weakness would be inconceivable. He’s actually listening to what Shuichi’s saying with a thoughtful expression.

Shuichi:  “If you don’t want to open up to your sidekick… maybe you’ll open up to your best friend. How about it, Kaito?”

Heroes and sidekicks may not, at least not in Kaito’s definition, but friends open up to each other and support each other with their problems, mutually, in both directions. That’s just how friendship works. Even Kaito with his possible lack of experience in the subject ought to understand that much.

It’s also incredibly adorable how Shuichi’s not saying “you’re my best friend”, which is the part he’d be able to say with authority. Rather, he’s saying “I’m your best friend”, even though Kaito has never actually said as much (because he’s barely even called Shuichi his friend in the first place). Shuichi is technically making an assumption here to even say that – but of course he’s right about it. Kaito hadn’t even properly realised that himself, but Shuichi could see it anyway. And it was definitely his Shuichi Saihara side and not his detective side that made him so sure about this particular truth.

(they are FRIENDS, I may have mentioned this a few times)

Kaito:  “Shuichi…”

Kaito is still pausing, thoughtful. He’s saying Shuichi’s name like he’s impressed or taken aback, as if Shuichi just said something groundbreaking that Kaito would never have thought of himself, but that actually… makes sense?

(Of course it makes sense, Kaito. You were just always being a gigantic idiot about this.)

Kaito:  “Thanks. I’m alright now.”

He genuinely means this. This is so much more subdued than all of his over-the-top insistence that he’s Totally Fine, so this isn’t a façade. Shuichi’s words actually got through to him and made him realise that he doesn’t need to be afraid of this. And thanking someone is something Kaito does quite rarely because he usually doesn’t like to acknowledge that he needed help – but he’s doing so here! Shuichi really did help him and he really is grateful, and it’s okay for him to admit that!

Shuichi:  “What? Are you sure?”

Shuichi seems surprised that Kaito would suddenly be so okay so quickly, which could seem to hint that he actually isn’t. But it’s not that – it’s just that Shuichi didn’t realise that the fix would be this simple.

Kaito:  “Now that I know you think of me like that… All my doubts are gone!”

Shuichi was perhaps still thinking that the main problem was Kaito’s initial worry about not getting out of here and was expecting him to open up about that. But that was insignificant next to the real problem, which was Kaito’s fear of what would happen if he showed any kind of weakness to Shuichi. Now that Kaito realises that Shuichi sees him as a friend and accepts and supports him regardless of his weaknesses, and that this doesn’t mean they can’t also do the hero-and-sidekick thing alongside that… the entire problem has literally just vanished into thin air.

Kaito:  “Alright! Let’s escape this screwed up academy together!”

And those initial doubts he had about escaping? Even though he didn’t have Shuichi help him address those doubts, they were already something Kaito was capable of shooting down and overcoming by himself! Damn right he’s not just going to accept being stuck here, not when he’s got a friend as amazing as Shuichi that he wants to escape with!

These outcomes to a Harmonious Heart event have a very limited length – really there should be so much more being said here than the handful of lines we get. Shuichi should still want to discuss the fact that Kaito did feel so afraid of showing him weakness, so that they can explore that and be sure that Kaito really will be comfortable opening up to him in future if he needs to. Despite knowing now in his head that it’s okay, Kaito’s still going to be instinctively inclined to hide his worries, and it’ll probably take him a while to fully unlearn that.

But regardless, I really like that even in this short space, the writing makes sure to carefully show that this does work on Kaito and genuinely gets through to him. It would be very easy for things to still come across like Kaito’s lying about being okay, but his reaction here contains enough clues that he actually means it and that he really thought about Shuichi’s words and took them to heart.

Helping Kaito begin to fix his issues was always going to be this simple. Shuichi only needed to know what the problem was in the first place, and that was the hardest part.

Graduation scene

And now, let’s imagine this brings us onto the final bit of content in this bonus mode, which is the scene you get with Kaito after the ten days are over and they’re going to get out of here because they became appropriately epic friends. (shush, Monokuma DEFINITELY MENTIONED FRIENDSHIP)

It’s a little unclear as to whether everyone else is also going to escape just because two people achieved this, or whether they’re the only ones escaping – I’m pretty sure all the graduation scenes kinda just skim over that topic. But let’s assume that everyone gets to leave, because neither Kaito nor Shuichi would stand for it and be able to have this happy reflection about their time here if that wasn’t the case.

The wiki mentions at one point that successfully getting the best outcome for the Harmonious Heart event is necessary to unlock the graduation scene. Unfortunately, the wiki is wrong. You can very definitely fuck up the Harmonious Heart and still get this scene – heck, you can probably not even happen to trigger it at all. All you need to do is max a character’s FTEs to get five hearts of affection and then do enough successful hangouts to get another five hearts. It would, after all, be kind of unfair for the game to expect you to get the Harmonious Heart right, because you can only attempt it once per playthrough and so getting it wrong would screw you out of that character’s ending on that playthrough.

…I say “unfortunately” because, at least in Kaito’s case, it’d narratively be a lot more fun if you really did have to succeed in his Harmonious Heart event to get this ending. It would be really neat if the kind of close friendship that Shuichi and Kaito needed to achieve in order to be able to leave is a more equal, healthy friendship than they ever had in canon, in which Kaito is also able to open up to Shuichi about his own issues and be supported in return. That’s very much the kind of friendship I like to imagine them having in this AU once they leave and continue to live happily ever after as adorable best friends on the outside. Or in any AU in which they both get to live, for that matter. They deserve it.

(Because, you know, Monokuma and the audience definitely care about emotionally healthy and nuanced relationships showing these complex characters helping each other overcome their issues, since such a thing is a more meaningful and compelling part of a relationship than simply whether or not the feelings involved are romantic and is equally possible when they aren’t. That’s totally what the audience is watching for and not just ARGLFLARGL ROMANCE, right.)

There’s also the fact that in all of the Harmonious Heart outcomes that aren’t the successful one, things would likely become at best subtly awkward between Kaito and Shuichi, and at worst Kaito probably starts outright avoiding him. That wouldn’t be the best environment for this ending to happen in.

Kaito:  “I thought I’d be happy about it, but I don’t want it to end… I’m a little sad.”

Shuichi:  “It was just for a short while, but we did go through a lot. I’m a little sad too.”

Yeah, all those things they went through that totally, uh, you know, happened. Shuichi’s wording implies he’s talking about things that aren’t just hanging out with Kaito and becoming friends with him, as if there were some actual overarching plot events to this mode, which, ha ha.

Shuichi:  “Are you going to go back to astronaut training when you get out of here?”

Kaito:  “Of course! No way I’d give up on my dream of becoming an astronaut!”

Obviously! Kaito is going to live happily ever after as an astronaut who goes to SPACE lots of times under normal circumstances and comes back alive each time!

Kaito:  “I’m gonna make up all my lost time as fast as I can!”

Shuichi:  “That’s true, while we were in here, the other trainees were training every day.”

Haha, yes, those other trainees. Kaito’s going to hit something of a roadblock upon learning that he was never an astronaut trainee in the first place… but like hell that’s going to stop him. It’s still going to be him making up for lost time, just the lost time of never having actually trained in the first place. (His fake memories of training will help a bit, though.)

Kaito:  “But, y’know, coming here… I think it was good for me. One reason was because I got to meet you…”

Aww. He’s about to talk about how being here helped with his astronaut training, but he still wanted to mention meeting Shuichi first, because that’s very much the best thing he gained from being here. They are friends.

(Coming here was also good for him because without it he wouldn’t exist. Existing is good.)

Shuichi:  (The most important thing for an astronaut…) “Good communication, right?”

Every character’s ending scene asks you to remember something they mentioned during one of their FTEs, and this is the one for Kaito. Of course communication skills are relevant to the time they spent here! Or… at least they would have been if this AU had had any semblance of a story to it.

Kaito:  “No matter how great you are, you can’t be an astronaut if you can’t communicate. A fight in a spaceship because of bad communication could be fatal, right?”

You know what else could be fatal on a spaceship because of bad communication? One of the astronauts not telling everybody else when he’s feeling sick, which could potentially endanger not just the astronaut himself but also the rest of the crew. So thaaaat’s a thing they’ll have to train out of him – though maybe the help Shuichi’s given him in this AU has already started to do that.

Kaito:  “Being shut away and told to live together… Living together here was probably even harder than living on a spaceship.”

It actually is kind of analogous! Astronauts are stuck with the same handful of people all day every day for months on end while up in space, which is why they need to be able to get along so well. That’s also basically what happened at this academy. Too bad this place contained a few people who are so horrendously bad at communication and teamwork that they’d never have been allowed to become astronauts even if they tried. I guess that’s why Kaito says it was even harder than being on a spaceship.

Shuichi:  “Well, you learned a lot about communication here. Living here must have been good training for you.”

Yeah, with all of the communicating among each other that everybody definitely did, it’s not like they just stood unmoving in the same spot in the courtyard for ten days or anything. Gah, this mode’s lack of a story.

The actual canon story would also have helped Kaito learn a thing or two about communication, in theory, at least if he’d lived and had been able to continue to use what he’d learned. If he’d lived, then presumably, during whatever change to the canon events caused him to actually get his illness treated before it was too late, the main lesson he’d learn would be an emphatic tell people when something’s wrong with you, dammit. Important lessons about communication there.

Kaito:  “Just how living here helped me in my astronaut training… I think it helped you with your detective work, too. Maybe the time you spent here will be useful for your future, y’know?”

A nice sentiment, but one that definitely only really makes sense for the main story. In this AU, apparently all Shuichi did was hang out with people all day, with no attempt to unravel the mystery of what’s going on here.

Kaito:  “Isn’t there something you gained here?”

It’s marred by the lack of any semblance of a story backing this up, but it’s still very Kaito that he’s trying to encourage Shuichi to think about what he’s learned and how he’s grown.

Shuichi:  (And above all else… I was so lucky to make a friend like Kaito.)

That’s definitely a thing that we can all agree he gained here, though! And that’s what’s most important – for Kaito as well.

Shuichi:  “Thank you for everything. I’m really glad I met you, Kaito.”

Awwww. It’s so lovely to hear Shuichi fully expressing how much he’s grateful to Kaito, while Kaito is there to hear it. Shuichi never quite said anything to this extent in canon while Kaito was alive, which I may have mentioned a few times was kind of heartbreaking.

Kaito:  “What are you talking about!? That’s my line! I’m glad I got to meet you, Shuichi!”

So… since this is this AU and not the canon story, I’m going to assume that Kaito brushing off Shuichi’s heartfelt thanks isn’t because he doesn’t feel like he deserves it. Rather, it’s just that, despite that he constantly presents the fiction of himself as this awesome hero who does this for people, he’s kind of awkward and unsure about how to respond to such earnest gratitude acknowledging that awesomeness as the genuine truth. So instead, he does what he always does and turns it around to use it to help Shuichi feel good about himself, too.

Kaito really does mean this, though. He’s just as grateful to Shuichi as Shuichi is to him – especially if we assume that the Harmonious Heart’s best outcome really did happen in this story. They are friends! Not just hero and sidekick, friends, which is such a big deal to Kaito. Shuichi is already the closest friend he’s ever had, and that means the world to him.

(I definitely hadn’t forgotten about this line when I wrote my own thing about Kaito getting heartfelt thanks from his sidekicks and responding with “that’s my line”, so this… probably somewhat influenced that, yes.)

Kaito:  “You’ll always be my sidekick, alright!?”

Again, since this is a happier AU with much less messed-up co-dependency going on (especially with the Harmonious Heart having helped to fix that), I’m going to assume Kaito means this in a good way. Not as “I need you to always depend on me”, but just as “whenever you do need me, I’ll always be there for you”. Everyone needs someone else from time to time. You can’t just graduate from being a “sidekick” who relies on someone else’s support into a “hero” who doesn’t need anyone at all. Heroes and sidekicks aren’t that black-and-white. Kaito considered the sidekicks from his backstory only former sidekicks by now, but that isn’t how things should actually work at all.

Once Kaito’s sidekick, always Kaito’s sidekick, because no matter how strong those people are now thanks to him, they’re still going to need help sometimes, and because Kaito is always going to want to be there for his friends.

Shuichi:  “Yes, of course!”

Look at Shuichi not even being slightly awkward or put-off at the idea of being Kaito’s “sidekick”! He understands exactly what Kaito means by that here, and it was never about Shuichi being lesser than him.

Shuichi:  (Kaito and I beamed at one another and shook hands. We both put all our strength into the handshake.)

They are friends! I love the implication that they both want to get across the strength of their friendship in that handshake, communicating without words.

Shuichi:  (I’m really glad I met Kaito. So in at least *one* way, I’m thankful to Monokuma. I’m sure Kaito feels the same way. But we don’t have to tell each other that. We don’t need words. I know exactly how Kaito feels, without them.)

Communication without words! Shuichi and Kaito also kind of did some of this, during trial 5, so it’s especially appropriate for them that this is one of the things the writers put into their scene here. Friends who know each other so well that they can do this is one of my favourite friendship tropes and melts my heart.

I suppose we can assume that Shuichi’s inexplicable mindreading powers have reverted to something less supernaturally intrusive and more realistically just him being able to intuit how Kaito’s feeling because of how well he knows him. Maybe this means he’ll be able to take a leaf out of Kaito’s book and pick up on when Kaito’s feeling down and needs to talk to him about something, even when he’d have hesitated to mention it otherwise? I hope so. They are friends and equals who can support each other, like they always should have been.

[clumsybookworm18]

I really like your blog and I was wondering what your favourite books are or if you had any book recommendations? ♥️

Awww you’re too nice! Thank you ☺️💕

You made my night! Asking for book recs while letting me gush over my favorite books at the same time? Hell yes!!!

Ok ok so my absolute favorites are:

A Court of Thrones and Roses by Sarah J Mass

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a beast-like creature arrives to demand retribution for it. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she only knows about from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not an animal, but Tamlin--one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled their world.

As she dwells on his estate, her feelings for Tamlin transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie and warning she's been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But an ancient, wicked shadow over the faerie lands is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it . . . or doom Tamlin--and his world--forever.

Anyone who’s been following me for a while knows how much I love this series, especially the second book, A Court of Mist and Fury. The first book is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast (one of my favorite tropes) and surprisingly I found it so boring that I almost didn’t finish it BUT after getting to the second half I was completely hooked. Getting through ACOTAR was so worth it because I got to read ACOMAF, which had more of a Hades and Persephone vibe (++A). ACOMAF is my ultimate comfort book, I love it so much that I own it physically, on my kindle and on audiobook. It may be cliche and the writing can be ridiculously funny sometimes but I still love it!

The Winner’s Trilogy by Marie Rutkoski

They were never meant to be together. As a general's daughter, seventeen-year-old Kestrel enjoys an extravagant and privileged life. Arin has nothing but the clothes on his back. Then Kestrel makes an impulsive decision that binds Arin to her. Though they try to fight it, they can't help but fall in love. In order to be together, they must betray their people . . . but to be loyal to their country, they must betray each other. Set in a new world, The Winner's Curse is a story of rebellion, duels, ballroom dances, wicked rumors, dirty secrets, and games where everything is at stake, and the gamble is whether you will keep your head or lose your heart.

These books hold a special place in my heart. They got me out of a HUGE reading slump and reminded me why I fell in love with books in the first place! This trilogy has everything- beautiful writing, fantastic world building, clever plot twists, forbidden romance, and most importantly, ANGST. The main female character, Kestrel, is one of my favorite heroines ever; she is a badass and doesn’t need a sword or fists to fight given that her greatest weapon is her mind (unlike most YA heroines nowadays).

Hope and Red (Empire of Storms series) by Jon Skovron

Hope's old life ended the night her entire village was massacred by the emperor's forces. Now, trained in secret by a master warrior, her new life is centered on only one goal: vengeance.

Red lives by the skin of his teeth and sharpness of his wit. An expert thief and a brilliant con artist, he cares for only one thing: a good time. But when the empire's soldiers start to encroach on his territory, taking down his friends with it, he may have to re-prioritize.

Together, they will take down an empire.

A fantasy trilogy that is so UNDERRATED. It’s has amazing characters, diversity, action, wit, PIRATES! It has a unique storyline, the characters and dialogue are so funny, and the female characters are amazingly badass. I stumbled upon this book so randomly while I was at Cotsco and it looked interesting so I bought it (mostly because I thought the cover was cool 😂) but never gave it much thought. One day boredom got the best of me so I started reading it. Next thing I knew it was 3am and I was freaking the fuck out cause I had read this amazing book in one sitting that ended with a cliffhanger and I needed more pronto! Much to my delight, I discovered there were 2 more books and ordered them immediately.

Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo

Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone. . . .

A convict with a thirst for revenge. A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager. A runaway with a privileged past. A spy known as the Wraith.A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums. A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes.

Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.

A team formed of 6 very different but compelling characters that go on a heist. *chef’s kiss* Also Squad Goals. Needless to say I REALLY enjoyed these books.

Best Kind of Broken by Chelsea Fine

Pixie and Levi haven't spoken in nearly a year when they find themselves working―and living―at the same inn in the middle of nowhere. Once upon a time, they were childhood friends. But that was before everything went to hell. And now things are... awkward. All they want to do is avoid each other, and their past, for as long as possible. But now that they're forced to share a bathroom, and therefore a shower, keeping their distance from one another becomes less difficult than keeping their hands off each other. Welcome to the hallway of awkward tension and sexual frustration, folks. Get comfy. It’s going to be a long summer.

I don’t like NA a lot so I went into this thinking it was gonna be another NA cliché read so believe me when I say I didn’t expect to love it as much as I did. I fell in love with Pixie and Levi’s relationship. I loved their banter, their complicated history, the angst, the love-hate and UST. The author’s writing style is so good and quirky, and the inner monologues are hilarious. She does a great job managing humor and drama! The side characters are great too. She wrote 2 more books with some of the side characters (which sadly I haven’t got the chance to read yet) but this could also be read as a stand-alone. I listened to the whole audiobook on YouTube (100% recommend!).

Honorary Mentions:

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson

Falling Kingdoms by Morgan Rhodes

The Witchlands Series by Susan Dennard

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Bring Me Their Hearts by Sara Wolf

The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi

[sign-from-god-complex]

21 and 38? ~💙

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

ohhhhhhhhhhh I’m the worst at articulating my love for things but I am gonna Try My Best!!!

@impatentpending I mean, it’s obvious, but Elena’s my favourite author. everything she writes is an emotional masterpiece. I’m either genuinely laughing out loud or I’m like totally fucking swept away in this world that she’s conjuring up or sometimes both (occasionally I am crying too but I usually avoid too much angst cause I’m a baby).

I’ve said it a million times but A Night Like Tonight is one of my favourite stories cause the presentation is so fucking clever. it’s amazing. she manages to be fucking incredible at fluff and angst and that weird middle ground where everything is longing and crying without even noticing you’re doing it. I’m in awe of the talent she has, fr.

@tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors !!!!!!!!!!! Violet is an actual angel with a kind of expansive world I could only dream of having the creativity to come up with. the dynamics between the four boys in LAOFT is gorgeous and makes me so goddamn soft. I reread the LAOFT extras literally all the time; if I’m in the mood for fluffy LAMP and don’t know where to turn to, you can bet that LAOFT will be one of my first thoughts. also???? has made me cry on several occasions which is distinctly uncool and yet I’m not even upset cause it’s just so pretty that it deserves the tears I’d shed over it. 

it’s 100% impossible for me to pick a specific favourite fic cause I have about 10 that I can think of off the top of my head right now but I can absolutely pick my favourite line because I think about it every time I read it.

“But as they looked at him, eyes in three different shades and exactly one shade of hope, Logan couldn’t possibly have said no.” - First Dance

!!!!!!!! I can’t even explain why I love this line so much--it may be the whole, reality vs metaphor thing with the use of the word shades which is so clever--but when I first read it I actually paused for a second like,,, woah. and every time I read it still I’m like !!!!! good fucking line!!!!

even outside of LAOFT everything they’ve written is so??? good???? genuinely, this happens all the time, when I’m reading fanfiction and I finish a fic and go !!!!! ahhhhh, that was really good and then I get to the author’s note and Violet’s tumblr URL is there and I’m like !!!!! oh it was Violet!!!! I should not be surprised because they’re wonderful and yet it’s just amazing how many beautiful fics they’ve written.

@sleepless-in-starbucks I can’t do a list of writers without mentioning Lia, it’s 100% illegal. legit just the best possible ideas??? it’s completely wild to me that they’re out here writing stuff I wouldn’t even think of; it’s like they opened up an entirely new fanfiction world to me that I couldn’t have imagined. everyone’s always like,,, effortlessly in character and unbelievably gay--which I think we can all relate to--and I can’t even articulate the way their writing just,, fits them??? I don’t know if this makes any sense but like when I read their writing I get the sense of Lia, whether that’s through the character’s dialogue or the plot of the story.

and when they do play into tropes, I’m always sitting there like !!!!! yes, this is everything that I want, like the creativisleep gay chicken fic and the LAMP fake dating one, technically cliches and yet still unbelievably good and unique. it’s just,,,, it’s all so Good.

@notveryglittery Dani!!!! the queen of royality and also of fluff and also of our hearts--Dani owns a lot of titles. I honestly have not read enough of her fics--I need to make an evening out of that--mostly bc I don’t think she’s on AO3 and she doesn’t have a masterlist (to my knowledge). but!!! everything I have read from her has been fluffy and gorgeous and just absolutely lovely. like, it’s the perfect word to describe her writing, it’s just lovely. it’s the kind of fluff that just makes you feel like you’re bathing in sunlight or lying in a field full of sunflowers with your partner, holding hands and pointing at clouds--sleepy and soft and terribly in love. I appreciate her immensely.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

if Lia and I could come up with an idea it would be so fun to collab with them. I’ve never done a collab with anyone before outside of doing rps with my partner but like,,, anything Lia does is wonderful so I could only assume a collab would be the same. 

I have honestly considered writing a fic in the LAOFT universe and then gifting it to Violet (which is almost like a collab) but I’d be worried about getting the unique characterisation right. plus, they have all the good ideas and I am but a simple enby who appreciates fae a potentially unhealthy amount. I’m also not even sure if they would want that. who knows.

collabs are just not something I’m hugely familiar with. I’m a small self-conscious ball of fluff who is always worried about putting my writing out there before it’s been agonized over for a very long time (and sometimes even after that), so usually very few people are trusted to see drafted/not-edited versions of my work.

[kiss-my-freckle]

Dialogues for @thesweetkeenlife

1x1

Red: Evidently someone with the authority to make decisions has arrived. I think I smell the stench of your cologne, Agent Cooper. Smells like hubris.

Red: You got rid of your highlights. You look much less Baltimore.

1x3

Red: So you went with the gray?

1x4

Red: That’s a pretty blouse.

1x7

Red: Agent Keen, I have a tip. You’re a winter, not an autumn. Stop wearing olive.

Red: You’d look positively radiant in a Guayabera dress. I know a little shop in Reston. We could stop before our flight.

Red: I brought you a souvenir. What’s your feeling about guava? Liz: Anxiety. Red: Oh, you’re in for a treat.

1x8

Red: I don’t know how you do it. I had that done once. I couldn’t bear the tickling.

Maltz: Ray, look at you. You look great. I mean, the elasticity is amazing. You been juicing? Red: Beets, mostly. Some celery, carrots, a lot of ginger. The kale makes me dyspeptic.

Red: I find it so reassuring - the movie stars, the pop singers. They really are just like the rest of us.

1x9

Red: Donald, never let it be said that I valued a Zegna Venticinque tie over a human life, even yours.

1x11

Red: Janice, my sincerest apologies. I’ll take a rain check on the Stroganoff. It smells delicious.

1x12

Red: We brought a little something for Julian - a care package. It’s a Tibetan singing bowl. What do we have here? Some jackfruit, vitamin D, kola nuts. But we’ve got to get him to eat more protein. He looks like hell. He isn’t vegan, is he? Anyway, I’ve also included a couple of my favorite Richard Pryor records. I want to try and inject a little levity into the proceedings. I mean, Julian looks so crabby all the time. House arrest can be grueling. Borakove: Didn’t you spend, like, four months - in Phonthong? Red: Seven. Borakove: How did you survive? Red: Naps. Occasional calisthenics.

Red: If I tell you, you have to promise me you’ll try the fertilized duck eggs. It’s a daring and unique dining experience. You’ll think you’ve died and gone to hell.

1x14

Red: Who decided on this paneling?

Red: You smell nice. Something new?

Red: Wow! And I like your clutch.

1x17

Red: This piroshki is delicious.

1x18

Red: I come bearing gifts - pimento cheese sandwiches, toasted with the crusts cut off. Eartha Kitt’s recipe. It’s a fantastic story.

2x1

Red: It looks so soft. Shea butter?

2x2

Red: Lizzy! I’d like to introduce you to my manicurist, Rosa Heredia. She’s the one I was telling you about, who was dating that nine-fingered bullfighter from Juarez. This woman is an artist, trained at the Latin-American school of medicine in Havana.

2x11

Red: Oh, that’s a shame. She’s gonna miss the most tantalizingly delicious khorem baklava.

2x12

Red: Oh, that’s a shame. Dendrobium? Ruth: My own hybrid. I call them “Snows of Everest.” Red: Lovely.

2x14

Red: You've changed your hair.

Red: Come on. I got to be worth as much as that fake Xuande Ming vessel was. Yaabari: 18. Red: Sorry, Santos, but those cat’s eye Chrysoberyls are brown, not green. An expensive forgery, but a forgery nonetheless. 20!

3x1

Red: I must say, your hair, the way it frames your face is very becoming.

3x2

Red: You have no idea what I’ve offered Chui to divulge the secret of this recipe. He won’t say. I suspect it has something to do with how he beats his eggs.

3x6

Red: I love mauve, but a soft creamy yellow will just open up the entire room.

3x8

Red: You didn’t find anything. Jilly found it ’cause you’re too dense to even look for it. No wonder Cash doesn’t trust you with anything more important than babysitting. T-bone: That’s big talk coming from a g-guy who’s -

3x12

Red: Yeah. Oh, I should probably mention, I booked a pregnancy massage for you. She’ll be here at 9:00. Her name’s Edwina, she’s a registered nurse, and she smells absolutely divine. I hope it goes with the rest of your stuff. I’m told it pulls out.

3x13

Red: I se your new home is a work in progress. What colors are you considering?

3x17

Red: Came together rather nicely. They went with ruby fringe tulips and pink peonies.

3x20

Red: I was just imagining young Katarina covered in glitter. As an adult, it’s easy to dismiss this stuff as girlish frivolity. You forget the wonder it creates, the light captured, secret wishes evoked. It renders even the darkest days sparkly. Never underestimate the power of glitter.

3x21

Red: They say gifting a bouquet of daffodils ensures happiness, while presenting just one means bad luck is on the horizon.

4x7

Red: You looked absolutely ravishing the other night. What do you do to stay in such incredible shape? Calisthenics? Or Jazzercise? Maybe we should be workout partners. I’ll see you in dance class, Samar.

4x18

Red: So I get a babysitter now? I haven’t had a babysitter since Brenda Gilroy. My God, pot pies, Lawrence Welk, bath time with Brenda. Still my perfect Saturday night.

5x1

Smokey: Sorry it took so long. Once I knew Humberto had your African friend and his chums in transpo, I stopped for some Bengay ointment. Think I overdid it with my back. Red: I use Epsom salt baths.

5x2

Red: Oh, my goodness. Look at those Guan vases. And that flatware. Did you know Nancy Reagan - She could dress a table specifically for that night’s guest at a moment’s notice. Russian Silver for a tea with Gorbachev, Italian silver stag-head stirrup cups for a last-minute supper with Sinatra. Can you imagine?

Liz: What color is that, pumpkin? It looks like a pumpkin. Red: His wife says it’s Tuscan Sunset.

5x10

Red: Paris, I’d like you to meet Elizabeth. Paris and I first met when he was a saucier at La Bernadin. Liz: Pleasure to meet you. Paris: Shall I set a third place for lunch? Liz: No, thank you. Red: You may want to think twice. He’s making a turbot with a matsutake mushroom broth.

5x12

Red: What makes her happy? Does she like a good foot massage?

5x15

Red: Maybe a massage parlor. The athletes would love it!

5x16

Red: Mr. Garvey, might I suggest you enjoy what little time you have left - crab cakes, scalp massages, perhaps a double feature of “The 400 Blows” and “Jules and Jim” - whatever floats your boat. Do it now, because I will find those bones, and when I do, I’m gonna kill you.

5x17

Red: I hope you have indigestion. Liz: No. But if it makes you feel better, I’m in a bad mood. Red: Excellent! Dembe: He’s making fenugreek porridge. My ancestors learned that it can cure a troubled stomach and soothe aches and pains. Red: Medicinal South Sudanese cuisine. Liz: Cooking it up in their embassy’s kitchen. Aren’t you living large?

5x19

Red: This apartment. Right here. Oh. My God. To have been the proverbial fly on Clyde Tolson’s duvet. Liz: Clyde Tolson lived here? J. Edgar Hoover’s lover? Red: This was their secret hideaway. Imagine the conversations. Cooing over JFK’s lovers. Slandering Dr. King. What peignoir to wear to bed. When I saw the apartment was for sale, I couldn’t resist. Liz: You own the apartment where the homophobic head of the FBI carried on his affair with his boyfriend? Red: Allegedly. I wouldn’t admit this in mixed company, but J. Edgar and I have a surprising amount in common. For instance, we both always get our man.

Red: What’s that smell? Is that lavender?  And mint. Is that your head? What kind of products do you use? I’m dying of curiosity. Garvey: Wouldn’t that be nice. Red: You smell that? Dembe: Yes. It’s lovely. Red: I’ll say. Absolutely lovely. Whatever it is, you and I need to get some.

5x22

Red: Oh. A lightweight merino. Super 120, natural stretch. I swear by it.

Waters: So, what do you think of this one? Red: Oh, John, yes. I like that. But go with the Snowy River Collection in the Glen Urquhart plaid. It worked for the Duke of Windsor. And, just my opinion, consider a vest. Waters: You think? Are vests in again? Red: Vests have never been out.

6x4

Vega: Yeah. I also got the blade that’s gonna carve you like a pumpkin. Red: Jack-o’-lantern. Vega: Huh? Red: A pumpkin is a gourd. A jack-o’-lantern is the carved pumpkin. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I knew what you meant.

6x5

Baldwin: One. I arrested that man there, in the navy-blue suit. Sima: May the record reflect the witness has identified the defendant. Red: Uh, o-objection. Judge Wilkins: Grounds? Red: The suit is actually a prunelle weave blue with a subtle overlay of red. So in the right light, it goes quite plum.

[vengeancect]

you like making rpg maker games right? are there any reoccurring characters or themes that show up in them? who or what do you take inspiration from?

it’s a very weird surprise that anyone cares or knows enough about me to even ask this, like you’re genuinely that interested. i don’t think i can answer your questions, at least allow myself to answer them, but i can explain to you what the two games ARE, hopefully in the driest most neutral way that won’t make the audience in my head cringe    oh wow this didn’t go very well FUCK

i made the first one (skull island) i think starting on august 31st 2016. i stopped making it somewhere around late november. i made it purely because someone had kindly gifted me the program, and i felt like i’d be ungrateful if i didn’t make something with it. my initial idea was to just throw some awful 15 minute long thing together, use some “random” humor, show it to some people, they’ll laugh and forget about it and i’ll be free from this. but as it went on i felt compelled to put more things in it. my internet was going out often back then so i’d just be left alone working on it for hours on end. i made a starter area and then a hub area and then the 3 main areas and their respective secret events. as it went on, i had ideas and understood i wouldn’t be able to fully realize them due to my nonexisting talent. it was this very strange exhausting tightrope between shame and irony. i went from making areas to trying to draw my own assets, an extremely infuriating experience. i made a school, a city area leading into a park leading into a lab, and a night-time highway leading into a tunnel leading into my patience running out and me getting sick of this and just ending the game. everything about it is completely unbalanced. i went through the trouble of designing enemies even though i could never figure out how to make most of them attack during battles. i incorporated real chat logs and things i’d heard about in the past into their own “levels” and events. the “main character” was still just a stock rpgmaker sprite even though i had gone through the trouble of editing other sprites for characters to make them semi-original. very uncomfortable dialogue was written. you could get a whip as a weapon, from an NPC who tells you “you look good with it”. or something. the bgm for that area was text to speech voices saying “you were always sick, i was always sick”. it stopped being a joke, but it wasn’t serious, it instead became nonsense. there are no themes. there’s no inspiration. nothing could justify this.

when making it i remembered this text file i had from back in 2014, where i detailed areas and the plot of a game i wished i could make but never even tried to. it was about the world disappearing, the protagonist being the only human left alive. his name was mori. he’d find other characters eventually including a little boy who liked watching stars. i put no thought into how it would work, i guess i just unconsciously knew it couldn’t realistically be made without a lot of knowledge, hard work and talent. i thought it would be funny if i tried bringing those characters and areas into life ayway, into this stupid half-joke clusterfuck of a game. the stargazing kid does nothing but despair about how his existence is tainted, how he wants to “go back”, ie. go back to being an idea of something good. parts of that old text file flash by the screen constantly in the background. i made roleplay scenarios from when i was 13 into “””gameplay”””. like “follow this red line in a void, you are then led to a house (that is just a blue rectangle), go up the stairs and meet this naked faceless boy with a suicide note written into his body, who then blows up in a shower of blood and gore.” a random battle happens just before the final stretch of the game. it appears to be a mound of scrap metal and junk with an old TV sticking out the top. this is a reference to another character that appeared in the old concept. a “cool” bad boy character with a TV for a head. i guess that’s how you can tell it was written in 2014. the final boss is Mori, who talks about “leaving this world” through death. in a horrendously drawn replica of my bedroom, you find the original synopsis for the 2014 game, in the end it asks “what happened?” over and over again. the final bit of gameplay in the game is a calm scene with a character talking to you about how all of this was meaningless and you shouldn’t worry about it. you walk by a bunch of graves. the final screen is 3 graves, one for Mori and one for the stargazer, and one open grave for you. you jump in it and the game ends. a quick joke that could have gotten a laugh out of someone turned into a 3 month long self-indulgent masochistic shameful project of fetishized inability, then recorded and put on youtube to satisfy my digital hoarder compulsions.

OKAY NOW FOR THE OTHER ONE in 2017 i tried my hand at making some assets and characters for a game, another fucked up grand concept like the 2014 one and just as impossible to implement. shame got the better of me this time and i gave up. near the end of march 2018 a person i know had made a joke game on Unity just to get acclaimed to the engine. this one was actually successful, short, and made me laugh. i thought it would be funny to one-up said person and make a game myself. and then i tried. and then i learned i couldn’t do it and immediately lost interest. but for some reason i didn’t stop

instead i made safe room, which i developed for all of april and released late may this year. so i made it in less time than skull island, even though both games are just about an hour long, and with this one i had used almost entirely original assets. huh. i repurposed the characters and areas i drew in 2017 and made up a new “””story””” involving them, though some of the usual self depricating “hahaha wasted ideas asshole” humor came through in this one aswell, nowhere as much though. a young boy is stuck in the basement of some mysterious man who had presumably kidnapped him from somewhere. his condition is a mystery and so are the motives of his kidnapper. there is this smart-mouthed, incessant, gameplay interrupting voice constantly coming in and deriding him for everything, but at the same time almost empathizing with him. the voice is confused about it’s own existence. you have nothing to do but watch time go by mercilessly, dreaming to try escaping from your situation. there are no battles in this one. there are two puzzles except they don’t work. i couldn’t figure out how to make them work. i also didn’t care. i stole a lot of music, because in skull island i was terrified that someone would copyright me and hastily cobbled together a bunch of ear-splitting bullshit. at this point i was begging to just stop. stop doing this kind of shit. it’s not funny. it’s not cool how i made this despite not wanting to, despite having years of free time and infinite resources and tutorials on how do anything at my fingertips. this is just shameful. this time there’s 4 “levels” except one of them is like 5 minutes long. i wanted to go a little further with this barely-a-concept i made up. laziness had something else in mind, however. again the “inspiration” is taken from the strange internet interactions i had in the past. fake stories from other people. one trick pony. you go from a forest, to a small house in the “woods”, to a snowy, corrupted mountain taken from a stupid dream i had years ago, to a creepy museum. it’s more…polished than the last one? i guess? it has an unique text box. the main character’s sprite is edited. there’s a place where you have to jump to platforms. sometimes there’s “animated” sprites. i suppose it’s an improvement. the best, nicest looking thing in this game wasn’t made by me. you could play this with your eyes closed, though that’s absolutely not to the game’s detriment.

“You are locked in a room. Some time has passed, enough for you to start doubting everything. You have to escape, you guess, but it’s hard. It gets harder to do anything the more time goes by. You’re forced to depend on him, the person who brought you here in the first place. Most days, there’s nothing you can do. In the middle of all this, I came to exist. Let’s figure this out together, okay?“ this is it’s official description

oh god i hate this. oh man. oh wow what a fucking idiot i am. i can’t even tell if this is ignorant or just narcissistic. i’m just gonna leave this here and go away

[lightsandlostbells]

why I’m not keen on Evak 2.0

fredweasleying replied to your post

“Skam Italia episode 7 reaction”

Im italian and i have the same opinions mostly....why dont you want an evak 2.0 tho im curious!!

Hi, I’m sorry for taking some time to respond! I was feeling a little sick this week and I have a long answer for this question, lol.

The main reason I don’t want an Evak 2.0 is because is that, well, I feel that Evak 1.0 is about as perfect a canon ship you can get in execution, and S3 has no major flaws for me - I only have one gripe of any substance (having to do with Emma outing Isak) and it doesn’t ruin the season for me or anything. Personally I didn’t want any of the seasons to be direct remakes and would vastly have preferred new stories tailored to the culture, with new characters developed around the actors’ personalities and strengths, but there’s not anything we can do about S1, and at least one S2 remake is mid-season, with more being set up. And I believe the contracts required the remakes to do S1 and S2 of the original? But S3 is not a guarantee. Anyway, S3 and Evak had some weird magic going for it where everything worked. Very rarely have I seen a fandom react with near-universal praise and satisfaction toward something, especially a canon ship. Obviously not everyone is going to love S3/Evak but I think it’s hard to deny that they’re overwhelmingly well-received. Not just by fans, either. I’ve seen professional film and TV critics gush about S3, too. Much of S3′s success comes from elements that can’t be replicated just by following the outline of the original. 

The chemistry is hands down pivotal to the success of S3. I can guarantee you that, strength of the writing and directing aside, if those two actors aren’t fantastic together, then the season is just not going to work. Imagine two actors with no chemistry doing all the bed scenes, or the kitchen scenes, or the O Helga Natt scene. It would be so awkward. I think OG Skam overall did really well with cast chemistry, and Tarjei and Henrik’s chemistry was really something special - you can see little things in their body language, the way they mirror each other, turn toward each other, come up with unique gestures for each other that make them seem more real as a couple.  They react to each other and feed off the other’s performance rather than just performing a script. I think it’s going to be extremely difficult to find actors who are even remotely as good with each other. (And frankly this is harder with gay fictional couples due to possible biases in their depiction ... I want to believe the best of the remake production teams but I’m not gonna lie, until I see it in action I’ll be a little apprehensive that they won’t let their Isak and Even be as affectionate together as the original. Even “progressive” shows can display double standards about that.)

You need a seriously gifted actor to play Isak. Not that you don’t need talent for all the characters, but there are quite a few scenes where Isak just looks at stuff on his computer, or gets a text message, or talks on the phone with someone, and you need an actor who can clearly communicate what Isak is feeling without help from other actors or stimuli. Then of course there are the bigger emotional moments, but Isak is a very internal, very vulnerable character for much of the season. As far as the remake Isaks go, Lucas hasn’t felt that believable to me in most scenes and his facial expressions/subtlety are especially what have left me cold, and I like Martino but his performance doesn’t feel that vulnerable to me yet. Matteo from Druck is the one who seems most capable of being Isak-like but IDK what’s up with Druck. I am very willing for these actors to show me excellent performances in the future, I’m just aware that they have a lot to live up to.

You need a seriously gifted actor to play Even. This could make or break the Evak pairing in the remakes, perhaps. I would argue that you need more acting chops to play Even than to play any of the other love interest characters in Skam, because you need someone who can pull off depression and mania convincingly. That’s really tough subject matter and someone who isn’t up to the challenge could potentially make the character a parody or caricature, the last thing you want to do in a season with positive mental illness rep. You also need someone who can walk the tightrope of carrying a big secret through most of the season while still being charming and sympathetic even as we’re stuck in Isak’s POV, being hurt and confused by Even’s unexplained behavior. We need to have some trust in Even. It will be hard to root for Evak if the Even seems like he’s just messing around with Isak and lacks that core sweetness and sincerity. Personally speaking, I never ever doubted that Even’s feelings for Isak were genuine, even when he was ghosting and giving mixed signals, because honestly, Henrik’s heart-eyes were just that convincing, lol.

Some of the symbolism and richness of the original’s writing and directing will be lost no matter what, if they stick to the S3 script. 

For instance, 21:21 does not make sense as birth/rebirth symbolism if the character is not named Isak/Isaac/some variant. Of course the story can still continue and make sense on a surface level, but it will lose aspects that gave the writing additional depth. One reason of many that I love S3 is because the symbolism gives the story so much more weight. It makes Isak and Even’s relationship feel much more important than just a sweet teenage romance. Not to sound ultra corny, but presenting Isak’s love for Even as a form of spiritual rebirth feels downright profound and puts it up there with the “epic love stories” that Even likes, tragedy or not.

The Romeo + Juliet references are not going to make as much sense if they can’t, say, get the rights to the music from the original. Like … if you do a close remake with the pool kiss, and it might be a pretty scene, but you’re going to need some R+J music over it for it to have the same resonance. But then, lol, the scene will be too similar to the OG scene. The R+J references weren’t just fun Easter eggs for the viewers; they were woven into the story very thoroughly and thoughtfully. Even’s love of Baz Luhrmann tells us a lot of about personality and outlook on life. It gives us an idea of his romanticism but also hints at his depression. Thematically, R+J is hugely important in terms of creating tension and suspense throughout the season, that undercurrent of “epic love stories have to be tragic” and making the viewers expect the tragedy, only to subvert that expectation. A story about suicide becomes a story about rebirth.  

They should not even bother trying to redo O Helga Natt, man. Just don’t do it. They’re going to lose a lot of the symbolism anyway. 

There’s some other stuff but IDK, there’s just … so much that can go wrong. The Evak relationship feels really specific - they have so many inside jokes that are unique to them, so many recurring themes, so many little gestures, and they all work together as part of a whole. Copying them wholesale is going to feel artificial. Some of the remakes have handled the adaptation part better than others, but there’s some stuff that I just don’t think will work as 2.0 at all.

Since we’ll likely be getting an Isak season in each of the remakes - it was such an international draw that I can’t imagine it not happening for each remake that is renewed - what I really want is for them to write their own S3 featuring a coming out story, with the same care and detail as Evak, and covering similar themes, just ... not Evak. Not the same scenes, the same dialogue, the same characterization. Make Even have a totally different personality. I wrote a post about different films they could reference in S3 other than Romeo + Juliet, and like, I wrote it as a joke, but also? They should pick different movie references for S3 if they decide to incorporate them. Perhaps they could pick iconic Italian/French/German films from the country of that remake. Think carefully about the story and weave in different symbolism. Just recreating those motifs will be the ultimate sign of a remake’s laziness.

I do think S3 is very important in terms of the issues discussed, and I think it would be wonderful for youth in different countries to get the LGBT and mental illness representation. I would just prefer if they created something thoughtful and original rather than trying to recreate something that’s already considered a masterpiece by many critics and fans.

[tarakaybee]

Thoughts on: Coco and Black Panther

Oh Kris, you and your ‘thoughts’ posts that nobody reads.

Anyway these were two pretty good films, thoughts and whatnot. Moderate spoilers for both.

Coco

Pros:

Has some of that good Pixar Feels™ goodness that we were all expecting.

I suppose it’s technically the first Pixar film to be even on the borderline of being a musical, and for what it’s worth the musical scenes are really enjoyable, not to mention fitting for the story.

Dante is the latest in a long line of great animated dogs from Pixar, with only his uniquely animated movement he sold himself as a lovable character within three seconds of screentime (Believe me, I bloody well counted)

The environment design is terrific, colourful and endlessly layered and intricate without ever looking overdesigned.

Cons:

The human and skeleton characters and their designs don’t feel terribly Pixar-y. They feel like they could’ve been made by Dreamworks or Illumination, whereas their classic designs like Carl from Up or the titular Incredibles were very distinct and geometric and unmistakably theirs. And in addition, Miguel isn’t super compelling a protagonist, he’s basically just Kubo from Kubo and the Two Strings but with both eyes. I.E, kind of interchangeable.

To delve into spoiler territory for the end of the film, maybe I’d understand it better with another watch, but I found the moral at the end a bit troubling. It basically boils down to ‘Family first, abusive or not’. Miguel is kind of doing his best from the start with his family obviously in the wrong, but the film treats the resolution as if it’s Miguel who was supposed to have learned to value his family, despite the fact that his family value him exactly as far as he is useful to them and no further. This plotline goes throughout the film, and they basically have to make another character a literal murderer in order to justify Miguel’s family not being the straight up bad guys of the film.

Black Panther

Pros: 

Killmonger, besides the cool name, is a pretty good character and villain. With his genuinely tragic backstory and motivations he might be one of the top 5 or so of the MCU film villains. 

In particular, without spoiling what is it, his final dialogue of the film is particularly chilling and cool.

With the Afrofuturist aesthetic (Which is something I’m just learning about) it might be one of the most visually creative films of the year, or ever really.

Shuri (T’challa’s sister) is fantastic, and just a gift that keeps on giving. What’s especially interesting is that even though she’s 16 (Apparently, I don’t think the film specifies, but the actress is exactly one day younger than me according to Wikipedia.) and involved in the action, nobody ever comments on this or suggests that she should stay out of harms way, even when she engages Killmonger in combat in the final confrontation with her cool hand blasters which combined with her tech skills are definitely gonna give her at the very least her own solo comic series.

T’challa punches a Rhino.

Cons:

Maybe this is just me, but some of the performances were a little understated, T’challa in particular didn’t feel super engaging as a main character, especially since the fact that he conquered his main flaw back in CA: Civil War means that he doesn’t really have much of a character arc in this film.

Apart from a few scenes, the Panther suit(s) feel a bit uninteresting. With all the kinds of fights we’ve had in the MCU, (Airborne, whilst shrinking, with magic, with specialised weapons etc) going back to melee fighting with above average strength feels rather basic. It’s probably why it was really downplayed and had a lot of fight scenes with other characters,

[weedsekatzefollowers]

First of all, an explanation.

WK Followers has been in development for six years. It’s nearly complete, but release is still some time away. Why?

I’d like to start this off by saying that I started conceptualizing this mod as soon as I got my hands on Skyrim back in ‘11. I didn’t have a computer back then (I was still playing on my XBox), so I’d write manuscripts and stories on my crappy laptop. When I got a better laptop a year later, I went straight to work. Skyrim was - just like its predecessors - a wonderful world, full of so much potential, but unfortunately it fell a little... flat... in the story department. I wanted to change that.

But I barely knew where to start. Of course, I knew what I wanted to do, but I had no idea how to implement it. And thus started my year-long journey of familiarizing myself with the Creation Kit. Even after all these years, I still find new ways of optimizing things, and this absolutely needs to be done before I can even think of clicking that “Submit mod” button on the Nexus.

Example (it gets pretty technical at this point, so feel free to skip ahead if you rather wouldn’t bother with this): 

What you see here is the dialogue view. This is were dialogue’s written, voice files added, and so on. It’s also a prime example of sloppy work. I had watched a tutorial once, followed along with it for a single quest, and then forgot everything essential about it and just went on with writing everything down all nilly willy. Every quest, with the exception of the one I mentioned, looks like this. It’s a single top-level dialogue branch with a lot of stuff cramped in there. Why’s that a problem? Well, I’m sure there’s other reasons I haven’t discovered yet. But what I realized far too late was that some dialogue choices simply would not show up. Once there were more than six choices with a higher character count than 70, you would not be able to see the last three choices in-game. So I watched the tutorial again, and lo and behold, answers are supposed to go into their own branch, like this:

... Which is obviously more overseeable and also doesn’t conjure up any more in-game errors.

(Continue here, if you skipped ahead.)

Right now, fixing this up for thousands and thousands of dialogue lines is what’s eating up most of my time. The Creation Kit is pretty unstable, and breaking up links between dialogue topics makes it crash rather often. Every time this happens, I’ll have to load up my mod again, which can take up to five (!) minutes. It’s tedious work. Also, while I’m doing this, I usually check my spelling and grammar as well. I’m multilingual, and although I’d like to think my English is pretty fluent, every now and then I stumble over the odd little error. Furthermore, I’m debugging quite a lot of my scripts these days. Things break, it happens. People have their computers set up differently, not everything’s going to run smoothly. But once these bugs break my quests or the game, I’m drawing the line. Script bloating? Not under my watch. Fortunately, those troubles are resolved fairly quickly. Then of course, there’s model and texture problems.

Six years is a long time. Popular models and textures came and went, and I constantly changed the looks of my followers. But that was never enough for me, I wanted them to look somewhat unique and true to their quirks, traits and background stories. Well, as it turns out, my laptop had other plans. When it died on me, it took the entire first version of my mod with it, the above mentioned included. I had to start from scratch again. I was heartbroken, just about ready to give up (especially because merging .nifs is a pain in the ass). But after a couple of weeks, I pieced myself back together and began anew. ... That was about the time when I explored the Nexus further and found out more about permissions and asset use. You see, I treated the Nexus like an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet. I took whatever tickled my fancy and never even thought about asking for permission to use it. And oh boy, was it hard for me to message the mod authors about the whole permission issue. Those people had accomplished everything I was trying to do. I don’t know why, but I kept on fearing they’d reject me because I hadn’t shared anything about my plans yet. I was wrong, of course. Some of them were incredibly nice about it, others less so. But I mostly got what I wanted. That being said though... I still need to get permission for three assets I’m currently using. Two of those authors haven’t been on the Nexus in a very long time. I’ve messaged them on there, but the messages haven’t been read yet. Some time ago I heard there’s some sort of timeframe during which an author has to log into the Nexus. Once these six months have expired without them logging in, you are allowed to just freely take those assets. True or not, under no circumstances am I gonna do that. Once the mod is polished up, I’ll try to reach these authors again. If I don’t get any answers, I’ll simply replace those models and textures. Textures haven’t been optimized yet. ... Which leads to an annoying bug that prevents the facial textures from loading if you have a ton of other high-res textures installed. The entire face appears pitch black, then. Except for the eyes. And scars. And the inside of the mouth. It’s the stuff of nightmares, I tell ya. Unused world building meshes and textures haven’t been removed from the Creation Kit and data folders yet. It’s a big mod. We don’t need unnecessary resources crammed in there. Some dungeons haven’t been optimized yet. ... Mainly because I hate room bounds and portals. No matter how close I line these damn boxes up, it never works out. I’ll get to it... eventually. I want to make sure there’s absolutely no continuity errors or plot holes in my stories. ... Because I’m trying to be as lore-friendly as possible and I can’t stand bad writing. In its time, WK Followers saw three different hard drives. Some data files might be missing. Although I’ve not run into any errors regarding this, I’ll still need to check if this might cause troubles. ... And actually I’m dreading this one the most. Two of my old hard drives are entirely destroyed. Can’t access anything on these and since I was very unorganized back then, I might not be able to recover them at all.

And finally... the mod hasn’t been cleaned yet. I’m somewhat familiar with Tes5Edit. This is no big deal. I simply want to wait until I’m done changing things up in my .esp before I get to cleaning. That’s why there’s no release date for the mod yet. But I plan on giving (at the very least) weekly updates on this blog now. And if you did stick around up until now, well that’s great! Thanks so much for your interest in what I’m doing! Here, have a little sneak peek at what’s coming to your computers soon as a little welcome gift! :)

[maxthommusic]

Royally Meta

Persona 5: Royal is an expanded, improved version of Persona 5. Coming nearly two years after the original, of course I decided to revisit Tokyo as a Phantom Thief and check-in on the new additions. However, what I didn’t expect to find was an utter distaste for the quirky, juvenile dialogue. Especially with a game rated “Mature” (in the States) that explores themes of sexual assault, exploitation and more, how come the game doesn’t feel as evolved as its subject matter? But why do I still absolutely love it in spite of those glaring details?

The first problem I noticed about Royal’s script is that everything is over-explained. While I definitely recognized this flaw on my first play-through, sometimes it’s easier to overlook problems when the experience is so novel. In that regard, Persona is as fresh as they come. Hearing all the music for the time, meeting the characters, visiting locations, etc.; it’s extremely easy to forgive its failings. However, on round two, I just can’t ignore the fact this this hefty script drones on about the explanations of people, concepts and objectives. The hand-holding while trying to explain The Metaverse and cognition and personas gets exhausting quickly. A lot of the script feels like fluff preventing you from getting straight into the action. Plus, there’s a lot of fun in interpreting things for yourself. This is something Final Fantasy VII did so expertly back in 1997. Remaining cryptic and interpretive let fans create their own worlds giving way to a fanclub mystified by its subject matter. Nowadays fans demand answers to everything and are miffed when something doesn’t make sense. This absolutely hinders Persona 5, making it slog when it should chug. And what’s worse is that the script is plenty juvenile, relying on a “kids versus adults” motif that wears out its welcome pretty quickly.

As a 30 year old male, I love the idea that a high school teacher is physically and sexually assaulting students. That’s a heinous crime which demands justice. Great narrative fodder. But juxtaposed to Ryuji kicking cans going, “Stupid adults, getting away with whatever they want” just doesn’t add up. And I get that the game is about high school students, so isn’t that the demographic? Perhaps. Maybe I’m too old for Persona, which is a grave disappointment to admit. Yet some of the themes are incredibly mature and explore really deep waters. The introspective nature of the Persona series (and 5 in particular) tells me there’s a wider appeal here and it’s just a bummer that the script can’t transcend it’s younger audiences. Films like Star Wars were made openly for kids, yet it elevates among that ground. Games like Zelda: Ocarina of Time are, no pun intended, timeless due to their execution. Persona 5, unfortunately, has a totally bloated script that ages itself poorly and makes for some rather annoying cutscenes.

Nevertheless, I can’t put the game down. It oozes style and god-tier design; the various mechanics and systems are completely irresistible. Overlooking the juvenile dialogue is easy when every new day practically implements a new Confidant or location to explore. Confidants are links you unlock, characters that have entire side-plots that keep unraveling as the game progresses. And there are so many places to visit that offer different activities, investigating them all is about as much fun as catching every Pokemon. The game even employs a great “Metroid-Vania” component, forcing you to unlock other features before you can visit certain places or talk to specific people. For example, there’s a jazz bar in Kichioji I want to scope out, but I haven’t unlocked the resource to get me through the door. And as much as I’d like to call my teacher, Kawakami, to come over for a date, I don’t quite have the guts to make it happen.

The constant implementation of novel experiences makes Persona 5 a complete win, cramming the game with so much content that you’re not entirely sure if you’ll see everything. Even the dialogue options can feel like potential missed opportunities. But that’s the carrot on the stick, isn’t it?

If Persona just gave me the ability to easily replay moments in order to get different outcomes, where would the incentive be to choose thoughtfully? Every time I give the wrong gift to a Confidant, I need to feel that pang of regret. Because it’s that kind of misstep that actually leads to obsession. Or maybe I didn’t spend my time after school so wisely... Do I reload my last save and re-do the past thirty minutes? Or move-along and live with my decisions?

Persona 5 has a killer meta-game that’s all about maximizing your interactions with the characters and its world. And while that pesky mainline script can sometimes feel awkward and over explanatory, the side details are almost always beautiful. Since we don’t get bogged down in sci-fi concepts like parallel worlds and personal cognition, the writers are free to explore themes like desire, trust, ambition, guilt, loss, regret and so much more. These elements they handle much better since the moments are more bite-sized. Often times the side-hangs are much more concise, allowing the player to chime in frequently to steer the conversations too. Again: how these relationships build and grow are completely up to you. How do you respond? Who do you see and when?

While the game is mostly linear, Persona presents the player with the illusion of agency. We’re all gonna reach the same end. And we’re all gonna have access to the same cutscenes. Yet there’s so much content that how we get there will be completely unique. And depending how we spend our time, some of us will see the end of roads, some of us may never even depart on a path. It’s this free reign that makes Persona 5 endlessly intriguing. It’s also why I’m able to ignore it’s most massive short-coming.

For everything Persona 5 gets wrong, it gets 10 things right. While I firmly believe my first play-through was a little less than a beautiful fever dream (who didn’t voraciously race through that hulking story when they first obtained a copy?), my second visit has been a bit more tempered. But as I unlock more features and obtain a better grasp on the gameplay and its mechanics, I find myself slinking back into that dream-state. In-game days go by mysteriously as I sink deeper and deeper into Tokyo, unlocking more and more features, increasingly trying to make sure I see and utilize every function available. The meta-game is incredibly strong with Persona 5. And while heavy storylines are the premier feature of most JRPGs, we are reminded once again that gameplay is king. Don’t be fooled by the herald that Persona 5 is too long. I dare to impose: is it just long enough? There is much to see and explore. Only focus on the main task at hand and you’ll miss much of the wonder and merriment available. The game consistently reminds you to take your time. So be sure and do just that. Because the flowers you stop to smell may be the sweetest parts of all.