#i was going to say i love piracy but i actually didn’t pirate these this time sigh

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

yknow what i wanna go back to what i was talking abt on the original post tho. ed’s cutie mark is one of my most unimportant yet burning pet peeves in the ofmd fandom (up there with fics where stede is shy about cursing, jack showing up in AUs as an ex boyfriend ed can’t stand, and izzy being included in the hornigold era). i have ranted abt this on discord before but ed’s cutie mark is not the kraken it’s not some edgy pirate thing his cutie mark is the red silk folded into a heart and he covers it up with something edgy. almost every mlp au art i see of ed gives him some sort of kraken or pirate themed cutie mark and i’m sorry but that’s WRONG!!!! i may not know much abt mlp but i have a phd in understanding edward teach and at the core of his being he is a big ol softie who loves so so much and so so deeply and he’s lived a life where he had to hide that soft tender center bc he knows showing vulnerability means getting hurt. ed picked up violence as a necessary tool of survival but he goes out of his way to minimize how much violence he has to actually commit, from fuckeries where intimidation minimizes the bloodshed to “technically i didn’t kill those guys, the fire killed them” rationalizations. ed does not revel in violence, he is not defined by his career in violence. the times when he is most capable of performing brutal and unrestrained violence are when he is fighting to protect the people he loves. ed teach is defined by LOVE the core of his character is about love the whole reason he became suicidal is bc he thought he was inherently unlovable!!! he yearned for love his whole life but he thought it was something he couldn’t have and the heartbreak of that nearly fucking killed him!!!!!! but yeah uhhh let’s put a fuckin uhhhhh. squid. on horse!ed’s ass. that really encapsulates his character for sure. let’s put a jolly roger on his ass, that’s definitely a good symbol for this character who spent two entire seasons saying “i want to retire so fucking bad please please please someone let me retire from piracy”

[the-moth-from-elsewhere]

The Epic Amazing Absolutely Insane TAOCC Song Post

Aka: Elsie assigns random songs to random characters for random reasons, vaguely organized by mod. These are almost entirely vibes and randomness so get ready to be utterly confused. Don’t expect any of these to fit too well, I went more based on the sound and random stuff than the actual accuracy. Also i’m kinda brain-broken from overthinking all this music lol. No, I didn’t add links, just because this took so many hours. Maybe tomorrow, I just wanna get this done.

Feiar’s characters.

Nymn

“Dento takes the Stairs” by Gooseworx

I told you these would make no sense. Idk the amount of nymn just being vibes/silly/lighthearted makes me think of how this song is a break from the chaos of the Elain series.

Jessy

“Metamodernity” by Vansire

Okay, I have a really specific animatic in my head for this song in which we flash between the TAOCC characters as they are in the circus, and then a cool transition, and then it’s them pre-circus. My best example is Dusk and Jessy sitting on a bench. A train passes by, and now it’s human Jessy sitting alone on a bench. Because Dusk is AI. And that very specific part of the animatic in my head tends to stick with me, especially seeing as Jessy is very “just go with stuff” and so I can kinda hear him singing this in my head.

”Apocalypse Now” by PinnoccioP

The first appearance of many of my favorite music artist lol. The song is about enjoying existence even if everything is a violent wreck, and it just kinda fits to me lol.

“World’s Smallest Violin” - AJR

yeah just gonna drop this one here and run

“Sweet Tooth” - Scott Helman

Blame Fei.

Clara

”Drosselmeyer’s theme - Kurumi Wari Ningyo (Nutcracker No. 2 March) - The Princess Tutu Soundtrack

Okay, for starters, you should watch Princess Tutu. Like right now. It’s amazing, and the title does NOT do it Justice. Back on track, it…it’s the nutcracker! Come on, this one was basically handed to me.

Tutu vs Kraehe (Swan Lake Act 1 Op. 20 No. 2)

Fight theme.

Lance

”I Don’t Have a Name For It” - Steam Powered Giraffe

I…I’m sorry I don’t have an explanation for this it just works. Lancia sweep.

Raina

”Nightcall” - Kavinsky

…Once again, very flimsy. But like…switch the gender. I’m sorry but it’s giving “they’re talking about my death but I’m still here.” The miku version works better here in my opinion :3

The pirates

“He’s a pirate” - F-777

“The 7 Seas” - F-777

idk man techno piracy go vrrrrrrrr I unironically blasted these during like the entirety of the pirates plotline frick you this is my rant I do what I want /silly

Star’s Characters

Icia

”Long Live” - Taylor Swift

I swear I have reasons for this just hear me out okay- First off, I can see the voice fitting, second off, I imagine her singing this either for Lance or Starro or both after we finally finally finally throw Hexe off a cliff.

“Santa Salvacion” - Magia Record OST

epic fight theme for fighting the terrifying ice lady. I blasted this while writing the fight scene with The Dark Queen Icia.

Dunite

”Postmeridae” - Madoka Magica OST

Cutesy upbeat theme for making merengues to. No notes.

“Witches Dance” - Magia Record OST

Idk, feels like her fight theme

”Roki” - Mikito P

…Vibes. Entirely vibes. Dunite should start a band /hj.

Starro

“Please Never Fall In Love Again” - Ollie MN

I just…him. Singing this. About Conny. I swear to cheese.

Vaga and Nova

“Class Dance - Rensho Kyoku I” - Princess Tutu OST

…Vibes.

Odette

”Vocalise Op. 34 No. 14” - Madoka Magica OST

Vibes. Piano. Sad string accompaniment. Must I say more?

Achilles

“Doubt #2” - Madoka Magica: Rebellion OST

Starting to notice a pattern with the kingdom characters lol?

Joofie’s Characters

Cardlan

“Main Character” - Will Wood

Ego. So, so much Ego.

“Sayo-Nara” - DDLC OST

I have my reasons.

Minimi

“Not Yet (Epilogue)” - Madoka Magica: Rebellion OST

Accordion and a little bit of ominousness. Vibes.

Xeyshattersiltav1a’s Characters

Sun

“Cowboy Dan” - Modest Mouse

Yee-haw sun. Do not give that woman a truck. Wow, these descriptions are getting terrible lol.

”Popular” - Wicked Soundtrack

Wicked but it’s sun and Dusk lives in my head rent free okay

“Alright” - Mother Mother

please help me I keep making up sun animatics with this song in class

Mix

“Something, Everything is Wrong” - Madoka Magica: Rebellion OST

This song is the reason I associate Mix with the accordion. Also, I imagine Dusk meeting him/his first real introduction in TAOCC’s background music as this song.

“Intertwined” - CMYK, CircusP.

Rip this man’s love life

“Love is War” - Ryo/Supercell feat. Hatsune Miku

Love is still Vehicular Manslaughter /ref

Dialtone

“Cats!” - waterflame

Does the song fit him? Not at all! It is way too techy and upbeat, and would probably better suit someone like Switch. But like….cats. He’d listen to a song called “cats!”. You can’t convince me otherwise.

“Want You Gone” - The Portal OST

Dialtone is GLaDOS coded to me.

“Killer Spider” - PinnoccioP

vibes and vibes alone.

Soup’s Characters

Silhouette

“Scared of you” - Brandon Hesslau

“Whoops, sorry for kinda almost killing you.”

”What Gave It Away” - Riproducer

evil.

”Burial Ground” - Low Roar

sad backstory.mp3.

Clown

“I’m Number One” - Muppets Most Wanted Soundtrack

Look man he’s silly and egotistical and it’s funny. He’s definitely singing this with carbine.

Autumn’s Characters

Pyxel

”Magical Doctor” - MARETU

once again, more vibes than lyrics and the gender’s wrong but, like, the vibes, man

Neb

“Lonely UFO” - PinnoccioP

…it doesn’t fit. The lyrics, as far as I can tell, do NOT fit. BUT LOOK AT THE OUTFIT, THE BLUE HAIR AND VOID SKIN AND MURDER TEETH AND TELL ME THAT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE NEB, OKAY?!

“Finding Sanctuary” - Stellaris OST

Silly space song for silly space person.

Lily’s Characters

The bookend siblings, and I mean all of them as a group, Katrina included for brevity’s sake

“Magical Girl and Chocolate” - PinnoccioP

Okay, I have actual reasoning for this one. Each of the siblings is someone’s “magical girl”, whether metaphorically or literally. They’re each fighting to protect and support someone. And they each strain and struggle to cope with a role too demanding for them. This song works for each of them in a different form and context.

Octavia and Steven/Sign

“Isn’t it “A”” - PinnoccioP

The arguments of all time

Honse- I mean Sophro

“Puzzle” - CMYK, CircusP

He’s just here to help. No notes.

Miscellaneous Others/Not big enough for their own section

Lantern

“Lantern” - Undertale OST

…self explanatory. The song’s vibes fit, too, I imagine this plays in his scenes.

“The Other One Left” - VaneLily

Half due to the “I just want a loving father” line. Gender’s wrong, again, but otherwise the lyrics fit.

Seer

“Seer’s Theme” - Cindy

I literally cannot outdo her own theme. It’s just too good. I listen to it randomly just because I like it so much /gen.

Sigil

“I’m Just Ken” - Barbie Movie Soundtrack

this is mostly a joke but come ON you think that guy doesn’t feel a little overshadowed by his GODDESS FIANCÉE?!

“Business Man” - Tom Cardy

Okay so this one takes some explaining because I imagine sigil walking into Dialtone’s place to spy and Insanity ruining everything and shooting everyone. It makes absolutely no sense but it’s funny in my head so here we are.

My Characters, yes this is gonna be last

Dusk

“Ultimate Senpai” - PinocchioP

A song about being overly pressured and stuff? Yeaaaaah.

“Sis Puella Magia!” - Madoka Magica Soundtrack

….Pretty. That’s it.

Aoki

“Decretum” - Madoka Magica Soundtrack

The reason I gave him a violin.

Alpenglow

“Yume Yume” - DECO*27

I have an ENTIRE ANIMATIC for chip and alpen with this song in my head

Lemonade

“Viva La Vida” - Coldplay

lore. Hehe.

Yume

“What are Children Made Of?” - PinnoccioP

This kid’s childhood has been ruined and boy is processing that hard.

”Everything about Animals” - PinocchioP

an absolute fever dream of a song that she would absolutely sing about animals. And how cool they are. And ohhhh look commentary on the state of humanity

Switchboard

“Kom Susser Tod” - Astrophysics

Idk it doesn’t fit all too well but the mix of utter hopelessness and eurobeat techno is just hercore

TAOCC as a whole

“Something Rotten!/Make an Omelette” - Something Rotten Soundtrack

WHEN I TELL YOU I HAVE AN ENTIRE. FREAKING. ANIMATIC-

”Your Silver Garden” - Madoka Magica OST

I do not know the lyrics literally at all but I could see an OP for TAOCC with this song

[melonteee]

Just watched your marine video! I thought it was very well done! I especially liked the section about Smoker, since I find him funny as a character in general. I often think about the contrast between him and Morgan, with regard to the girl bumping into him with her ice cream. Cause like, we just know Morgan’s reaction would not have been as kind. At all.

I do wonder, what are your thoughts on Fujitora? I really like him as a character and the fact that he was literally drafted after the Paramount war makes him very interesting, but you didn’t end up discussing him apart from a couple panels that showed up as visuals here and there. (I don’t have a problem with that, it’s your video, and I thought it was way cool nonetheless. I just was wondering your thoughts on him)

Another question I had: if the Marines are parallel to the pirates, where does the Revolutionary Army fit in? I guess they are more against the World Government as a whole, but the way they work I would argue mirrors the Marines a little more than piracy, if only due to the structures of them all.

Again I loved the video! I always look forward to your One Piece analyses, your ideas and ways of looking at things is so interesting and makes interacting with the series as a whole so much more enjoyable for me! Thank you!

Hello and thank you! I didn't mention Fujitora in the marines video because the video was already long and I want to make a separate video about Fujitora. But originally, I didn't like him! Until discovering he was drafted.

He's very similar to a citizen who just thinks the marines are the good of the world, so he'll do what they say if they tell him to because...they're the marines! Now that he's seen what the marines ACTUALLY do, he's turned against them, which is SUCH a win for him. Fujitora is a good example of thinking the marines are good, and seeing what the marines actually do.

In terms of the pirates, marines, and the revolutionary army - the reason I say the pirates are a parallel to the marines is because marines call PIRATES evil. The revolutionary army barely comes up for some reason, and pirates vs marines is clearly the black and white of the world.

However, you're right, the revolutionary army has a similar structure to the marines, but the RA is targeting the world gov specifically - as you said - while pirates and marines seem to keep duking it out on the seas. Due to not getting much of the revolutionary army as of yet, and not seeing much of Dragon nor how he formed the revolutionary army, I find it hard to pick their place in the story yet. They'll clearly have something to do with the downfall of the world gov, but it's more likely marines, pirates and the revolutionary army are all going in a circle of 'liberation' for the world.

I hope this was a good answer! Thank you again!

[wadinginthevelvet]

sorry but I love the Izzy “dangling my legs over the side of the ship” scene because like. he’s literally right. it DOES serve him right.

Ed was deeply heartbroken but coping healthily until Izzy got in his head & made him feel like all he deserved was destruction. Ed TRUSTED Izzy, and this person who he felt knew him & saw him & cared about him essentially confirming in his view that he doesn’t deserve good things and only has worth as a monster— that being soft was worse for him than being dead— made him feel that he truly was unloveable and shoved him over the edge into the Kraken persona. plus Izzy ASKED him to be violent! he grinned when he cut off his toe! the beginning of s2 is Izzy realizing that a. Ed is not actually happy as Blackbeard and is in fact destroying himself and b. Izzy himself has grown to care for this crew in a way he didn’t realize he had and maybe actually has some human empathy. and doesn’t want them to be brutalized. which I honestly don’t think he had a handle on before it was too late & he’d already set them up for this level of violence. and also clearly he did NOT know Ed in the way he thought he did! he didn’t realize he cared about the crew like that, but he also didn’t think Kraken-Ed would be that intense. he thought that horrible pep talk was what Ed needed to get back to being pre-Stede Blackbeard, not realizing that pre-Stede Blackbeard was a facade Ed was already deeply unhappy and insecure underneath, but also failing to comprehend (or even notice) the extent of Ed’s trauma and lack of self-worth and the fairly obvious (to anyone who actually knew or understood Ed) fact that telling him those things would shatter his very fragile belief that he deserved these tenuous but brave attempts at taking care of himself and trying to become who he wanted to be. Kraken-Ed was not who Izzy thought he would trigger when he gave him the talk, because he didn’t actually know or understand him like he thought he did. & that’s what he’s coming to terms with in s2 and it is a wonderful arc! lots of people have written fantastic metas about Izzy & his motivations and the complexity of his realization that he didn’t know Ed like he though he did & wasn’t close to him like he thought he was so I won’t bother to fully go into that here as interesting as it is. but like.. he asked for violence & he got it. he didn’t have a good handle on his own feelings about the crew/piracy and he evidently had zero handle on Ed’s (he is masterful at suppression but isn’t emotionally intelligent enough to be able to tell Ed is too), and while yeah it was Ed’s trauma and whole brutal career as a pirate and this glimpse at a different future and Stede’s betrayal all coming together to cause Ed’s eventual breakdown, Izzy’s talk is what made him give up and pushed him overboard into the Kraken era. he convinced him he was worthless if he wasn’t a monster, & in doing so unleashed that monster onto himself and the crew. he taunted the shark and lost a leg. I don’t think there’s anything unhealthy about him framing it like that— he isn’t suppressing his feelings about it or pretending it didn’t happen— he’s just processing & accepting the truth of the matter. when Lucius says Blackbeard cut off his leg and Izzy says “a shark did this”, he’s acknowledging it wasn’t really Ed who shot him, but a violent, hopeless, actively suicidal caricature of Blackbeard, a monster Izzy helped create. Izzy isn’t Ed’s victim— they’re an eye for an eye now. and I’m glad he acknowledged it like that

[thefirstpaleontologist]

OFMD S2E8 SPOILERS

Right so. Izzy is my favourite character. And I don’t mind when characters die. I think if it adds to the story and is a good end for their personal story arc then it can be the best choice. But. I didn’t really like how they chose to go about it.

the story gave him a redemption. he protected the crew and suffered and tried to kill himself. he apologised and was apologised to. he changed and grew and found love and family. he had the respect of his friends and crew, the pirate nation as a whole, and even his enemies. He had the chance to give a speech about the purpose of piracy and a chance to say goodbye to Ed.

Logically this should have meant that his death should have been. Idk like not fine but gratifying.

But for some reason it didn’t feel like that? Usually if a character I like dies I’m some mix of “this is devastating, shouting at the screen, how could this happen” and “holy shit my fav guy is getting so much attention and is narratively important and will get so much fix it fic about them”. But with this i was kinda just like “wait what”.

And I think the reasons for this is because

1. I didn’t think the show would go that far. I personally wasn’t expecting any of the main characters to die. Like ACTUALLY die. This is the show that had Lucius miraculously survive being thrown over board, had stede find his marooned crew on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, Izzy survived his leg being cut off and was walking on a new prosthetic immediately after, Ed had a canon ball bashed on his head and came away with literally no bruises despite apparently dying… For the muppet cartoon rules to suddenly not apply was jarring. But I suppose Izzy has always operated more in the real world than the rest of the cast.

2. the whole episode was rushed. The pacing was very quick and a lot of stuff happened without much time to process. Having a character die in the last episode means we didn’t get to see much of the other characters responding to it. This isn’t the shows fault cause it was originally meant to have 10 eps but still. i don’t feel it was given the appropriate amount of weight that it should have.

3. Izzy didn’t go down fighting in an epic battle. He didn’t die protecting those he cared about. He was hit by an idiots lucky shot and bled out. Izzy is the first main character to die. He was someone that by the end carried the same narrative importance as Stede and Ed. This is just a personal pet peeve but I think his cause of death should have been hard earned.

4. giving an angry miserable character a redemption and letting them find community and happiness only to then. die. is just very sad. Especially coming from a show that before this has been mostly very kind to its characters and audience.

That said, I think a lot of this can be resolved in s3. I think it is very likely that Izzy will remain in spirit in s3, through flashbacks or hallucinations or dreams etc as we have seen utilised for other characters, and we will see more of Stede and Ed and the crews grief (akin to how the goth crew reacted to Ed shooting Izzy at the start of the season). Izzy’s death isn’t meant to be a punishment for either himself or the audience. And I think the main issue was just a lack of time to flesh it out.

tl;dr: The show usually operates on muppet world rules so to have a main character actually die was unexpected. Since the final episode was rushed the appropriate weight could not be given to such a narratively significant characters death. the fact that izzy did not get to go down fighting or protecting others meant it felt kind of random and unnecessary. And having a show that is usually very kind to it’s characters and audience kill off a character right when they’d finally changed and found community kind of feels like a betrayal. BUT having both first mates (buttons and izzy) “leave” is likely symbolically significant to Ed and Stedes development. And the show will likely give due attention to Izzy’s death in s3.

[transmorphobots]

Burning Bridges on Mount Olympus

two ex-athletes talk about losing their way and ending up on a pirate ship far from home. Featuring a younger Lane One and introducing Shellmire. Honestly also can't go without saying that it's inspired by @combaticon's HAL series. It's been a huge pleasure to beta read it and the way she writes the bar as a center of community has been a treat, which is inspired some of this set up too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Cage was a much scarier name for the place than it actually was. It used to be a storage bay but it hardly looked like that anymore. Thick iron bars and the chain link fence decorated the outside. Complete with signs lifted from raids or remade faithfully in memory of street signs on the various worlds the varied crew called home. The largest and brightest sign in neon hangs above the door, buzzing threateningly which was part of its charm. The lights on the inside were orange and red to drive its industrial novelty and the rest of the furniture was recycled junk. 

It boasted a threat, a rough time, that all things were unwelcoming...  It followed the theme of the ship. They had Dread Captains, The Dirge, and also the owner of The Cage themself. 

Heavy set and nearly as wide as the Rust River, Shellmire was maybe the most intimidating piece in the bar. They didn’t hide any weapons on their frame which also helped keep the rowdiness of the bar at a controllable and acceptable level. Though, like the theme, it was mostly a cover for people too tired or broken to do anything but start something new. 

A few favors had been pulled when Shellmire made their home on the Dirge. Doing some jobs for people and making a few promises to others who could help them get it made. People didn’t really expect the gladiator with such financial savvy but they did love the idea of a place where they could catch up on all the things they left behind. Broadcasts from Velocitron, Cybertron, New Cybertronia, the local sectors, and even picking up Junkion broadcasts of whatever NASCAR was. 

Lane One liked NASCAR. It wasn’t as exciting as Velocitron’s races but there was a certain meditative quality to it… and it helped she didn’t think she was missing out on much. Watching races from Velocitron was like watching your ex-lover with a new flame. Bitterness coupled with regret for missing something great. She passed by the wasted Transformers, stopping them with one hand to tell them to take the trams home to avoid a crash. The two suppliers, a kind word for the mechs who actually went out and did the piracy, assured her they would do just that before they laughed and stumbled off. 

“If I find you parked in the crops I’ll make sure you don’t drink here again.” and that threat sobered them up a bit. Though they whined as they tried to collect themselves and walk upright instead of leaning on each other. 

The ex-gladiator’s joints creaked as they stood behind the counter, wiping down a glass and watching the last few patrons leave. The pale yellow optic staring blankly while the glass squeaked under the rag. They didn’t look at Lane One directly, instead, staring into the empty bar. It was kept, mostly clean because everyone had still had an ounce of respect (or fear) for Shellmire. House rules were welded prominently on a wall, cut by a laser and back lit by red bulbs so every word glowed like fresh slag. 

CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF NO FIGHTING DON’T BE A SORE LOSER  DON’T BE AN ANNOYING WINNER  ROOT NOVA CRONUM PULSARS OR LEAVE

The last one always got a little smile out of her, the Kaon Cube team could always use the support even if they couldn’t be at the stadium. Her optics swept the bar, realizing it was too empty…

“Where’s your crew?” she asks and goes to the messiest table first, starting to clean up the glasses and scraps. The gladiator behind her lets out a heavy sigh, the glass is set on the counter, and another chorus of squeaks starts as Shellmire works down the line.

“Called out. Wasn’t a big night of sports for us anyway… Most everyone was just here for the company. Brought their stuff back.” Shellmire’s shoulders rolled towards the stacks of glasses and plates at the bar. They creaked as they did. 

“Not everyone.” She said as she brought over more. She set up some chairs that had been knocked over. Above Lane One’s head she could hear voices of the smaller, organic crew members. Mostly people looking for a life away from the Empire. It was sort of… weird… They had whole families of refugees on the Dirge. Different people from all over, they brought children, because being with pirates was safer than their homes. It was more stable too. They cheered to the familiar whistles she came to recognize as part of the NFL. 

“Sounds like Football is on.” The word felt weird in her mouth but she sort of liked how it rolled. Shellmire gave a grunt in response. 

“Football’s always on except the team I want to watch.” they grumbled. Lane One put two dirty glasses on the bar, then took a rag for herself to start working on the tower Shellmire had. 

“How about hockey?” 

“Out of season.” They squeaked the glasses in unison but Lane One tried to speed up to beat Shellmire. Working to clean just as well as the careful bartender but get more done. To their credit, Shellmire tried to speed up to entertain her competitiveness. 

They did that in silence for a while. All of the broadcast screens were off except for the one upstairs that whistled and echoed with an alien language. When Shellmire found a stopping point they went around the bar to turn on a screen where they could both watch. 

“Were you hoping to catch something?” Shellmire asked while tuning the signal.

She, like the other patrons, had just come for the company. Starting on another line of glasses she shook her head. 

“Nothing in particular. What about you?” 

“Heard the Iacon Speedway is getting restored.” Shellmire flipped to the correct channel and came back around to the side that Lane One sat on. They took a seat which groaned like the rest of their form. Steam hissing out of the joints as they started to relax. 

The screen showed a broadcast from Cybertron and the familiar horizon of Iacon. She had only ever seen the Speedway once when she was running a mission for the Autobot cell who adopted her after the exile. Running some important information to the Decagon in North Iacon… or maybe it was when she had to drive West. She couldn’t really remember anymore. 

The reporter droned on about the efforts of the Cybertron Reconstructionalists to restore the planet, possibly save it. It was a long shot, especially with the Decepticons holding ground for Megatron’s return. Iacon having one of its stadiums rebuilt looked promising though.

“Think people will join them?” She asked. 

“Mhm. Hope’s being rebuilt there. Steady, with proper foundation.” It was hard to read the Transformer. Their head had been replaced by some sort of full helmet brace and nothing facial to express with. The pale yellow glass on the sides of the helm and the front didn’t have visible machinery to suggest where they looked and they couldn’t make any sort of optical gesture. Shellmire held themselves tightly too, controlled. If she didn’t know better, she’d think that Shellmire came from Vos. Their voice was a rumbling baritone and hardly pitched with emotion. Probably on purpose, maybe a side effect of whatever left their head encased. It was that control that reminded her of Vos. She worked with a few Vosians on the Dirge and back on Cybertron, they were always in control of their voices that way if something really got under their plating, you and everyone else would be aware of it. Everything in Vos was done with a iron grip and a steely gaze, carefully calculated. It was scary to see them take it to combat but more so when you were trying to share a bar space. 

Though she never missed it, there were plenty of Vosians on the Dirge, but it didn’t replace the Autobots she had known on Cybertron. Briefly she wondered where they were. Where did they scatter after that mission went so poorly? Around the Rust Sea there were a lot of options. She wouldn’t be surprised if the rivers gave them avenues of escape. She wondered if any of the Vosians took shelter on the abandoned Amusement Complex floating in the Sea. Did they disappear into the Manganese Mountains? Which she hoped not, they’d be frozen and hard for the fliers to pass over. They would have gone down in the ice, probably, and not come back. 

“Have you heard anything about Kaon?” 

Shellmire freezes mid wipe of the glass. Lane One stops too and again, can’t get anything from the hazy yellow. It takes a moment but Shellmire continues with the glass. There’s a sloppiness to it now, leaving a smudge on the lip when they set it down. Lane One picks it up to finish the job, watching them closely. 

“No.” they answer after a moment. Then, after another glass, they leave it on the counter and turn more to face Lane One, “How’d you guess?”

“Gunner in my team was from the Wharf. Recognized the hints of the accent… plus nobody roots for the Pulsars except the locals.” 

“Not true,” it was slightly defensive, “Used to be one of the most popular teams back before this scrap.” 

Lane One shrugs her shoulders,  “I was working between Iacon and Vos, so we had a few of the Kaon resistance among our team. Only people I ever heard talking about them.” 

Shellmire gives a soft grumble of dissatisfaction like those Transformers personally betrayed them. They stopped cleaning all together and faced the bar again, the giant arms creaking as they settle on the stone counter. Lane One continues to the next phase, plates. Scrubbing oils and syrups from the metal with a determination both necessary and to avoid the awkwardness growing between the two. The reporter on the screen rattled on and on. Lane One was trying to listen but failed, only catching snippets. 

“Yeah, I did the Kaon league. Nova Cronum, Praetorus Wharf, Tagan Heights… hit Polyhex a few times too. Never made it south to Iacon.” Shellmire stood from the seat and went around the bar again. Taking a freshly cleaned glass to dirty it with something hard from under the counter. Pouring some diesel into it, then some low grade energon, before stirring until the pink and black swirl together. Their pointer finger retracts  into a siphon nozzle and they stuck it into the rim of the glass. 

 “Got comfortable where I was… had a whole entrance. Usually played lakeside, walked out of the depths. Scared ‘em like I was a Rustgator. Crowd would go wild.” 

“I bet.” Lane One smiled trying to appreciate the performer in front of her but her smile was sad and she knew it. She had her own performances she had done, with others. She missed it and she tried to bring it to the Autobots and now to the pirates… but she was tired. The crowd wasn’t there. Neither was the team she was apart of. Their story made her miss them and her components ache. The components that were part of that performance and who would never be part of it again. Cut off just like she was. 

“When I was on Velocitron I used to race with a team… and because we were a combiner we technically counted as one person so we had to combine to cross the finish line. We usually made it a.. A thing, you know? We’d weave in and out of the competition then our combined form was so wide, nobody could pass.” She chuckled a bit because it was… a mean and rude thing to do. It got them plenty of boos and jeers and even a few heated comments from the enemies they made… but it was all part of the game. 

Shellmire makes a click with something in their mechanics. The targeting radar on their frame spinning condescendingly while they reach under the counter again. 

“Course you’re a Loci…” Shellmire didn’t say it with contempt but more of a sarcastic jab as they slid the cube over to her. It was full of bubbly brassy liquid and sealed with an air-tight film that she jabbed her fingers in to tear away. 

“Explains your taste.” and then Shellmire rolled the rest of the drink over. 

Lane One grinned as she caught the iron-black egg before it fell to the floor. She smashed the egg on the ledge of the counter. She lifted it so its viscous insides could ooze into the drink; the reaction between the two caused it to fizzle, the clear yellow and orange syrup turning to white foam as it broke apart. The roiling mess was falling over the sides onto her fingers and the counter. Lane One shot it back without hesitation. 

“What happened then? Out here like this…” 

“You first.” she set the cube down, wiping her mouth with the side of her hand. She’d need more than that for the mess the drink made but she was smiling in a way that she hadn’t in a long time. It was a piece of home. A piece of a time she had been forced to leave behind. 

Shellmire balks at her behavior and her request… but after refilling their glass they decide to give in. 

“Kaon always had a lot of problems. Ratbat squeezing people dry. Mayhem to the north, making a muck of the cities. Soon as Straxxus took over for Megatron, everyone felt the pressure. Worse than the Functionalists in some ways. Straxxus enjoyed what he did… “ The bartender leaned over towards her conspiratorially, as if Straxxus had any way of hearing them. 

“You heard of Autobots sneaking into the ranks to try and get information… but wasn’t much of them around and I was there… didn’t have a lot of use for information though. What Nova Cronum needed was some of that money to get back to the people after Straxxus robbed them of it. Plenty of ways for a freighter to spring a leak. Including someone in the crew making a hole when they weren’t paying attention.” 

Lane One choked on the last bit of her drink.. Foam spills out of her gaping  mouth and down her chin and onto the chair, though she tried to wipe it up with her hands before it got further. 

“You were embezzling from Straxxus?!” she didn’t mean to raise her voice and the people above shifted. She uttered a sorry before snatching a rag to clean herself up, leaving grease stains on her finish. 

“Not directly… but that’s why they chased me so far. Couldn’t really go to New Cybertonia for help. Wouldn’t care that the symbol was just a cover… but heard this place was out of sight and mind of most folks. Except for Straxxus’ enforcers. Don’t know what they pay them, but, seems like a good gig if you don’t have a spark.” Shellmire finished their drink and shifted into cleaning it. 

“Yeah,” her voice was a little hoarse from the foam going down the wrong way. She went slower just in case Shellmire was going to say anything else surprising. However, Shellmire went back to cleaning and staring at her. Expecting. 

They stayed in silence, except for the long forgotten broadcast, which went off about something in regards to establishing trade routes for energon. Lane One perked at the mention of Velocitron. Cybertron crawling to them to help…? Every Loci dream. She grimaced though as she thought of it. They’d never get a deal for energon from Velocitron, they’d be shut out, like every other Loci that picked a side. 

Her grip on the cube made it squeak and she let go before she crushed it. She pushed it back to Shellmire not trusting herself at the moment. 

“I… was exiled for treason.” She looked to Shellmire expecting the same sort of dramatic reaction, but all they did was stare at her. Though they didn’t clean the glass anymore, full attention was given to her. 

“Picking a side during the War was considered treason. I got too… loud about my beliefs. So, I was kicked off and barred from returning.” and it hurt, it hurt more than anything. 

“Just you?” 

She didn’t have a glass this time so instead, she clenched her fists until the metal protested. 

“Just me.” 

Time started to blur as she held onto the sadness and the rage. It was an explosion she was willing to keep in and she wouldn’t let it out. How was it ever fair? How was it ever fair that they got to stay and she didn’t? They hadn’t disagreed with her! At least, not until it was their fame on the line. The thought that it ever could have been fake, that nothing that was them mattered… she was only worth something when her mouth was shut.

She had gone to the Autobots after that. She dove into the conflict because she needed the win but there was nothing to win on Cybertron. There was a world full of chaos and she tried to find a meaning in it, she tried to find a victory in it, but all she could think of was that if she had kept her mouth shut she would be blissfully unaware of how much there could be to lose as an Autobot. 

Lane One missed the Vosian sentinel who’d often intimidate her with its mean stare. Shot to pieces trying to protect a fuel tanker they were attempting to get into Kaon. Shield went, then the rest of its chassis. Chewed up by sentry gunfire and spat back out on the road. They did get to Kaon but they lost the sentinel. She never even knew its name. 

Lane One remembers watching the gunner from the Wharf grow more and more disheartened until they stopped talking about the Pulsars or about Kaon and instead stared out into the Rust Sea just a little too long. They should have probably disappeared into the Sea, at least they would still be alive instead of torn to shreds by the Ultracon shock troop waiting at the Wharf. 

Piracy was easy, actually, compared to that. She wasn’t sure if it was because they were always on the move or maybe it was because they had a better command structure… maybe she had just learned from how awful the command could be. Never had a worse manager than the pompous Autobot who led their cell to devastation. 

Shellmire finished cleaning, starting putting things away, and she held herself tight even though parts of her shook from the effort. She wasn’t sure how long it was, the broadcast was shut off, the lights were dimmed, the place was set up for the next morning. 

Sounding like a creaky old dock, Shellmire approached. They didn’t touch her nor did they offer, instead, just waiting for her to meet them on her own terms. 

“Hard to fall like that, but it's them and not you.” 

But me is what cost me everything, she thinks bitterly. Swallowing the anger or the sob, whatever was threatening to break out. Maybe Shellmire was telepathic and that's why they hid their expressions because it was like they heard her when they spoke next. 

“None of this thinking you’re a misshapen cog in a machine. Paradise is very easy to lose, cause you’re so high up. You’re away from troubles, you’re away from all the hardships. All the turbulence doesn’t feel as strong when you’re above it, and when you’re thrown from it? You fall hard… breaks you a bit but, find, it isn’t so bad on the ground now, eh?” the softness of the voice broke her out of her stupor as Shellmire offered a hand to get her off the seat.

She took it reluctantly and she reasoned that it was only to prevent Shellmire from waiting here all night for her to get over herself. 

“Everyone loses paradise and it hurts every time, worse, when someone pushes you off… I miss Kaon too. I’ll carry it with me, but, it’s not the same.” Shellmire let go of her hand to close the big industrial door on The Cage, locking it up for the night. 

“Kaon’s paradise to you?” it was mean to say it that way and she regretted it as soon as it left her mouth, she started up an apology but Shellmire beat her to it. Rare for the tortoise to beat the hare. 

“You don’t think about the flaws too much when you’re in love with the places you were made in… you’ll never forget the original, but you can make somewhere new. Like The Cage.” They gestured to the neon sign as they shut it off with a flick of a switch. 

“Like the Dirge.” she repeated but her smile was ghostly and pale. She wasn’t sure the Dirge was anything close to paradise. 

“Like wherever you go.” Shellmire offered the arm and Lane One took it as they headed off together. They’d have to split up eventually; she didn’t park in this story, but until then, she’d appreciate the company of someone who understood. 

[the-gentleman-mermaid]

SO MANY FEELINGS about 207 and Stede and Ed all the stuff happening between them

There's so much going on with both of them, and so much coming together while also missing what the other needs. We get the first murmurings of the division between them during their breakfast in bed, which was otherwise so perfect!  Ed wants to avoid all near death situations, and Stede is like yeah right.  Even after their night, there's just such a subdued quality to Ed on this morning. At the Republic, Stede lives it up and Ed gives him advice, all the while becoming more distant as he sees Stede embrace the pirate life of fame.

The life of fame which Stede only got because he killed someone, getting into the ugly side of the pirate world.  Of course, at the end of the episode, Ed leaves.  But like, we know this isn’t going to last.  There’s no way the next episode will have Ed on a fishing boat while every other pirate in the Republic is under siege.  The question is, after Ed comes back into the fold to fight, how will it go and what will he do after?  He flat out says he doesn’t want to be a pirate anymore to Stede, so in the future, where does that leave them?  “Last night was a mistake.”--Ed, just shoot me through the heart why don’t you!  My take right now is that he’s scared about how good things with Stede can be combined with scared over getting hurt again because he and Stede are on different wavelengths about piracy, and he’s leaving before he can get hurt again.  He wants to find out who he is and that’s fair.

However, I honestly don’t see him actually managing to be a fisherman or run an inn or have a bar and grill.  I have no idea what retirement might hold for him, but I think Anne and Mary were an example of pirates trying to be ‘normal’ not going well.  We also get words of wisdom from Jackie in “You going through that ‘if I was a regular dude’ phase?”  Ed might be able to stop being Blackbeard, but he’s never going to be a regular dude.  The legend is always going to be there, and I think Ed’s got to figure out how reconcile both halves of himself without being one or the other.  Where does that leave him and Stede in/after the finale?  I have no idea.  Ed leaving at the end of S2 would be a parallel to Stede leaving in S1, though since Ed has already ‘left’ here, I don’t know if they would do that.  Obviously I hope they don’t!  I want Stede and Ed to be on something like the same page. I would also like them to actually outright say ‘I love you’ to each other, y’know, as long as I’m asking for things.

I’m also ambivalent on Stede living it up at the Republic.  He’s less the Gentleman Pirate than he is just a regular pirate. Maybe I’ll change my mind after rewatching or reading other takes, but what happened to the “I don’t like to drink till I puke” guy?  Granted, Stede didn’t puke, but this version of him would have fit right in with Calico Jack.  He’s rowdy, he’s lighting people on fire (though you have to take select violence with a grain of salt on this show), he’s the toast of the town.  Being a famous pirate is what Stede always wanted!  But will he hit the brakes a little, will he realize that it’s all well and good until someone is firing cannonballs into the harbor and blowing ships up, realize that he wants Ed more than this particular life?  I honestly don’t know how they can continue on if one of them wants to be a pirate and one doesn’t, but I didn’t know how they could satisfactorily redeem Izzy, either, and here he is singing and giving relationship advice, so clearly the writers are a step ahead of me. 

Maybe something is going to happen in the finale that will take the choice away from them—like the Navy closes in and piracy isn’t an option.  I don’t think they’ll totally go that route, though, since then it wouldn’t be Stede choosing anything.  I want Stede and Ed to come to a common ground, and I think that has to be some version of both of them pulling back from the extreme.  Like Izzy said to Stede, Stede and Ed balance each other. Stede did run away to become a pirate, but when he left Mary the second time, he was running to ED.  They’ve done a lot of running, both to and away from each other, and somehow, they have to find that sweet spot where they can both thrive.

[meanbihexual]

Writer's Game: First Sentences

Tagged by: nobody, I just wanted to play

Tagging: anyone who hasn't been tagged yet

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven't written ten fics, share as many first-sentences as you have.

So some of these are pretty old fics, but I’m just going back in order of what I’ve worked on last, so if they’ve gotten new stuff they’re included. Also, most of these aren’t published, so if you’re intrigued, you're welcome to bully me into finishing them. The ones that are published have links.

1. Love in Pieces with No Name (OFMD)

Ed didn’t know why he picked up the wallet.

2. Another Life Away (OFMD)

Stede Bonnet was no stranger to insults, especially in the printed word.

3. Unintended (SWTOR)

Aric Jorgan was not a sentimental man.

4. May I Have This Dance? (SWTOR)

Theron slid two fingers under his collar and tugged on the starched fabric, hoping that this time—unlike his previous attempts over the past half hour—the gesture would actually loosen the garment’s grip on his throat.

5. A Spy’s Guide to Love and Chicanery (SWTOR)

Lady Safiya Adraiel, Viscountess Mahara, heir to the Earldom of Thyr, protégé to two of the most accomplished diplomats in Valorum, was about to scream.

6. Chasing the Sun (SWTOR)

Safiya Adraiel had never been unsure a day in her life, until she watched, powerless, as her master was struck down before her eyes.

7. Piratical Passions (SWTOR)

The first rule of piracy is “there are no rules.”

8. Snowglobe (SWTOR)

The thing that Safi loved most about Tiisheraan was the seasons.

9. Bindings (SWTOR)

The force-nullifying gloves itched and bit at her hands, but Ynnara's movements were steady as she carefully brushed centuries worth of soil away from the holocron protruding from the ground before her.

10. Sunset (SWTOR)

Bad things come in threes, they say; even the Jedi, who often seize any opportunity to preach on the will of the Force, will look at two disasters in a row and think, “One more to go.”

[you-are-my-neverland]

hey! are akane and arete both girls?

(i'd love to read all your books! pls let us know when and if you publish them! in the mean time, can we get snippets from both pirates and post-chosen one if at all feasible?)

yes, akane and arete are both girls! also you are so kind!!! i would love to one day be published, but as of right now writing is just my passion/hobby (full time student and part time worker, so it's what i do in my spare time, but an integral part of my life all the time). writeblr will definitely be the first to know when something changes though. or when i actually finish something.

you can indeed get a snippet from the post-chosen one wip (i really need a name for it haha). here's an excerpt from chapter two: bonesetter.

(for context purposes, alice is currently employed as a sentinel in the govt. jamie is her 'handler.' she just lost the magician once again and had to go to the hospital)

“Has anyone told you that you would have been great at politics?” Jamie replied ruefully. “You and I both know I’d be terrible at politics,” Alice told him. “I’m just well versed in how to use power.” She yawned, readjusting herself. Exhaustion was beginning to set into her bones, the lull of unconsciousness a heavy burden to fight off. “You did learn from the best, after all,” Jamie finished, looking down at his hands. Alice smiled faintly.  “Didn’t serve anyone that well in the end, though.” Look at where power and politics had gotten her sister. Look at where Alice herself had ended up, still a pawn in the political system, no matter how hard she fought. The Revolution might have won, but Alice had always known she wasn’t the true winner. She never would have been, no matter the outcome.  “We helped create this world,” Jamie said.  “Don’t forget about the cost,” Alice reminded him bitterly.  Nothing, no Commonwealth, no peace, no future, nothing had ever been worth Helena. Too bad Alice had had no say in the matter.

as i mentioned, i haven't started actually drafting the pirate story quite yet, so no snippet on that end. however, i will share a little more sustenance on the world/plot!

magic wise, the world is sort of infused with magic all around. magic interacts differently with different people, and not everyone gets a 'gift.' there are three broad categories for people who do have some sort of magical ability. miracles, who are the gifted, and usually have small, subtle abilities. they are largely considered 'good.' the second are witches, whose power usually does not differentiate between good and bad (perhaps it depends on the user). they're feared, and not well liked, but at least they're still human. the third level is monsters. usually this refers to actual monsters, such as sea beasts and ghosts and all that, but also to those who were once human, but became corrupted. (the term has been applied liberally, and not always in correct parallelisms with the actual definition).

the seas are ruled/overseen by the all seas assembly (asa), which is a religious organization and political power. it is an independent authority that outlines universal rules individual nations are beholden to (think intergovernmental organizations like the un for similar authorities). they currently have two out of four pieces of the Stone Heart (which is the heart of one of the great gods). they had a third piece, but arete's mom stole it, and it is now lost to the seas. legend has it that once the stone heart is unified as one again, it will be a beacon to nisa's heart, the Star Heart (working on that name idk if i like it). legend also has it that arete's mom found the star heart, so after her fiery death (which arete escaped), piracy surged.

& that's a little of the foundation for the present timeline i'm trying to figure out!!

help me decide my nanowrimo

[quickbanana]

Girlvania demo more games

Girlvania demo more games download#

Apparently, it was too similar to the first game, so they figured, fuck it, let’s just call it a comeback. I read that this game was supposed to be a spiritual successor, instead of a real sequel. Or at the very least, it’s going to be a pirate-themed Didnapper game. From the general vibe of the demo, you can tell that this is going to be a pirate game. Keep in mind we’re still only talking about the demo. This pretty much sets up the narrative for what you can expect to see in the final version of the game. She quickly manages to get herself kidnapped and taken aboard a pirate ship. I never understood this kind of fantasy racism, but it works well as a plot device, so I guess I’ll live with it. She’s a bit of an unwanted presence, since she’s magical and people don’t like that. It’s your standard RPG story, at the start. You play as a chick named Seles, who is a fighter mage that lives in a small village. This one takes place in the same universe, but you’ve got an entirely different cast. You didn’t do a lot of boating, if you know what I mean. The first game very much took place on land. The biggest difference between this game and the previous one, other than the quality of life improvements, is the piracy. You give me that type of gameplay, and sexy bitches all in one universe, and I’m set to have hours of fun. Why would you do that? Who knows? Who cares? It was the most fun part of that game’s entire kit. In that game, you can fuck around and hogtie people any time you want, then drag them behind you while you ride off on your horse. I’ve seen this type of thing in Red Dead Redemption 2. You straight-up get involved in the action, any way you want to at any time you feel like it. You’re not just talking about tying people up or going through cutscenes. It’s this kind of open-world fun that makes RPG games immersive. You knock her out, tie her up, and take her back to your sex dungeon where you proceed to … I dunno, recruit her to capture more chicks? You see some gorgeous redhead with big flopping tits just minding her own business. Conversely, say you’re the random passerby. You escape, you fuck their shit up and take their stuff. You fuck around, minding your own business, and you get hogtied by some random passerby. You’re role-playing inside a fantastical world in which spontaneous bondage is an everyday occurrence. But, I have to say, the RPGs they’ve made so far are perfect for this specific BDSM sub-genre. DID have dabbled with other genres, they don’t just do RPGs. In terms of actual gameplay, there’s a lot of potential here. It’s all about the games and plays of trapping and feeling trapped. Whether it hurts or not is very secondary. Should you still play them even though they don’t technically have smut? Absolutely and I’m about to explain why.īDSM features all kinds of chains, whips, ropes, punishments, pains, and pleasures, but DID are very specifically focused on everything and anything that you can be bound in or use to bind other people. It wouldn’t be too hard, but it’s not exactly intended use. That’s what they do, and they do it well. The big shtick is that DID focus on damsel in distress narratives and all kinds of bondage and escapes. There’s no nudity in these games, at least, as far as I can tell. Wait, did I say softcore? Yeah, sorry, boys. Overall, public opinion on DID’s games has remained the same throughout all of their work – they make the best softcore bondage games out there. I’m not saying DID aren’t entirely to thank for the amazing success of Didnapper 1 it’s just that, the tons of fan information must have helped at least a little bit. The Patreon supporters who backed that project were very much invited to share their opinions on the game. Plus, their first game was very much a labor of love. DID are very proud of the work they’ve put into this fantastical world.

Girlvania demo more games download#

This game’s got an available demo for you to download right away. So far, their games have been available for free, more or less, but they’re changing that with this next game that isn’t technically out yet, at least not fully. I’m lucky I’ve already reviewed Didnapper, because it would appear that that game was very much a build-up to DID studio’s next big break.

[gyeheoni]

[cognacandlilac]

To the Depths - Part One

(Pirate!Silco x Fem!Reader)

An Admirable Spirit

Part 2 - Part 3.1

Rating: Explicit, MDNI

Set during the golden age of piracy, you are unwillingly engaged to an honorable Captain of Piltover’s navy when you’re kidnapped and held for ransom by a notorious and fearsome pirate.

Chapter Tags: kidnapping, suggestive content, mild knife play (?)

AO3

“I don’t want to do this,” you say for the third time since you stepped into the carriage. Your father presses his fingers into his temple and tries not to look as worn down as you know he feels. You have that effect on him but - to your credit - you feel bad about it most of the time. But not today. 

“He’s your fiancé. You should want to spend time with him.”

“I barely know the man and you know how I feel about marriage,” you fire back, sticking to your script. Now, your father will bring up your mother and the wonderful marriage they shared before she died ten years ago. He’ll hammer in the point that their marriage was also arranged and how he can’t imagine loving anyone the way he loved her. 

“Your mother and I-”

“Please,” you groan, tipping your face toward the window to catch a bit of breeze. It’s a cool morning, cooler than you’d expect for the time of year. Something heavy hangs in the air. You pray for a storm. “Spare me.”

“Captain Vander is a respectable man. Honorable. His men speak highly of him.” 

“I’m sure that’s all true,” you nod. In fairness, Captain Vander has been nothing but polite and companionable in the handful of hours you’ve spent together under the watchful gazes of chaperones. “But that’s not enough to make me want to marry him.”

“What would you have me do?” The cold note in your father’s voice catches you off guard. “When I’m gone, who is going to provide for you?”

“I’d be able to provide for myself if I inherited the company,” you fire back. Your father built Star Crossed Shipping from nothing. Your childhood memories of him are few and far between since he was always at sea. When your mother died, your father made the bold decision to bring you along on his ventures. Those were the happiest three years of your life. 

You crisscrossed the globe and learned more about the world than you ever could in a finishing school. You were able to grow close to your father in a way you hadn’t been able to before. 

When you came of age and were expected to take your place in society, you didn’t think you’d actually have to return to Piltover. The day your father told you that you were to remain at the family estate to brush up on etiquette and dancing was the second darkest day of your life, after your mother’s death. 

Without your knowledge, your father had arranged for your aunt on your mother’s side to guide you into becoming the lady you’re supposed to be. You weren’t a fool. You knew that being the daughter of a wealthy merchant came with expectations. You were okay with all of those expectations for the first fifteen years of your life. In fact, you actually looked forward to the day you could wear a beautiful gown, twirl around the dance floor with the handsome son of a politician, and fall in love. Life was laid out before you in neat little tiles. 

Then you felt what it was like to sail through the open ocean, to survive storms so brutal you sometimes believed a giant cosmic hand swirled the skies and directed the very lightning, to see colorful ports all over the world, and to taste food so incredible it holds a place in your dreams. Compared to those three years at sea, everything else seemed dull. 

Yet, that isn’t the worst part. You would have been able to accept that you couldn’t spend your life sailing the seas with your father. You understood the expectations placed on you hadn’t gone anywhere just because your mother died and your life took a turn for the unconventional. 

But you were blindsided. No one prepared you. No one bothered to ask what you wanted. You were left behind without warning and everything in your life changed once again. You were betrayed. 

You quickly realized none of the eligible suitors you once would have been glad to know and even marry could ever give you the life you wanted. You became impossible to court, evading invitations and intentions until they lost interest in you.

Last year, just after you turned twenty-five, your father suffered an injury that ensured he would not be able to travel with any of his ships for the foreseeable future. He quickly caught onto your schemes to avoid marriage and put a stop to them. 

Within months, he introduced you to Captain Vander who proudly served in Piltover’s navy. Six months later, there was a ring on your finger, though you only wore it when you absolutely had to. 

“I don’t want that life for you,” your father sighs. “I want you to have a safe, comfortable life. A stable life. Business owners don’t get to have that.”

Guilt shone in his eyes. Guilt for never being around when you were a child. Guilt over the loss of your mother. Guilt over abandoning you at the estate to save himself the pain of actually telling you what was going to happen. 

“I know,” you say, your voice soft. As much as he might deserve to drown in that guilt, you don’t like to see it. You understand he truly thinks he’s doing the right thing. 

You’re jostled as the carriage takes an unexpected turn. You glance out the window once more. “We’re going to the harbor?”

Your father’s face brightens. “Captain Vander thought you might like to see his new ship. The Council just awarded it to him. Word of your engagement has left a positive impression. I’m certain he’ll be promoted within the year.”

“Oh!” You choke out a hollow laugh. “I’m so thrilled to know that my freedom bought someone else a fine new ship. That’s just delightful.”

“Enough,” he sighs. “Spew your venom at me, if you must, but I expect you to treat Captain Vander with the respect he deserves.”

“When have I not?” You challenge. 

“He’s not a dullard. He knows your affections still need to grow.”

“Which has nothing to do with respect,” you point out. “If he’s after my affection, then he’s welcome to earn it.”

You know damn well he won’t be able to. Friendship? Perhaps in time. Affection? Never. Your heart and your mind are the only two things that can’t be bought and bartered by someone else and you plan to keep both well within your control. 

The carriage comes to a halt and a footman scrambles down from his perch beside the driver to open your door.

“Thank you,” you say and make your way to the front of the carriage to give the horses an affectionate pat. You’re only beastly to those who deserve it. 

You silently follow your father down the dock, taking in the comforting sight of so many magnificent ships. Though it’s early in the day, the dock is quiet. Everything exciting happens closer to dawn. Pity. You would have liked to see what goods are going in and out. 

You make a note of the ships that bear the insignia of your father’s company, whether they are ships he owns or ships he’s chartered. There aren’t many, but that doesn’t tell you much. You’ve been kept in the dark about business aspects since you came of age. As far as you know, everything is going well with the company but you still enjoy the details. 

Your father approaches a ship that is, frankly, magnificent. The hull of the heavy frigate boasts a fresh coat of deep blue paint with a brilliant red stripe beneath the closed canon hatches. You count thirteen, meaning twenty-six in total. Enough to reduce any challenging ship to splinters.

Your eyes drift toward the bow where the ship’s name, The Hound, is painted in bold red letters. A completely new ship, then. 

As far as you know, Piltover isn’t at risk of being pulled into a war and the navy is more than equipped to handle any conflicts they might come across at sea. Why build a brand new frigate when there are surely several waiting to be placed back in commission?

The Council must truly favor Captain Vander or they know something you don’t. 

You gather your skirts so you can traverse the gangplank without tripping. As you board, you tip your face up to inspect the three towering masts. The sails are furled, but you can see how pristinely white they are from where you stand. You’re so busy looking at the rigging that you nearly collide with Captain Vander’s broad chest. 

“Quite a sight, isn’t she?” The pride in his voice is unmistakable. 

“She is, indeed.” You don’t even have to fake a smile. The ship truly is spectacular. “You must be happy, Captain.”

“Vander, please,” he dips his head before offering his arm. Knowing your father is watching and you’ve already put his nerves on edge, you take it. You don’t miss the hint of surprise flashing across the Captain’s face. Aside from one dance at a Council ball, you’ve kept your distance from him. 

“Have you taken her out to sea yet, Captain?” You ask, keeping your voice kind but your boundary firm. Captain Vander takes it in stride. 

“Just once to make sure everything works the way it ought to,” he says. “We’ll join the regular patrols later in the week.”

“You’ll be the envy of the armada, no doubt.”

“I don’t know about that,” he chuckles. Again, you feel a twinge of guilt beneath your breastbone. It would be easier to despise him if he weren’t so damn nice. “Tea?”

He ushers you to a small table near the bow, set for three. Two uniformed crew members wait in attendance, every button polished to perfection. 

“How thoughtful,” you smile, though you’re certain the hovering crewmates have better things to do. Surely, this can’t be in their job description. The crewmate closest to you, a young woman with a shock of pink hair and a scar on her upper lip, looks like she’d rather be scraping barnacles off the hull. 

“May I introduce my first mate, Violet?” Captain Vander gestures to the pink-haired woman, who dips forward in a shallow bow. 

“Pleased to meet you.” You allow the tiniest hint of apology to bleed into your smile. You didn’t ask for this. If Violet notices, she doesn’t let on. 

Captain Vander turns his attention to the second crewmate, a young man with a kind face and a quiet demeanor though he was almost twice the size of Violet. “And this is gunnery chief Claggor.”

Claggor bows as well and offers a kind smile. “An honor, my lady.”

“I’m not a lady,” you correct gently, “but the honor is mine. With twenty-six cannons, you must feel quite spoiled.”

“I do,” he grins, relaxing a touch. “The armory isn’t anything to scoff at, either. Of course, I hope we’ll never have to use them in true battle.”

“Of course,” you agree. 

“Where’s Mylo?” Captain Vander asks Violet. 

“Up in the crow’s nest,” she replies. “Wasn’t structurally sound enough for his liking.”

“Ah,” the Captain nods. “I’ll leave him to it. You two may return to your posts. Should Mylo come down, send him this way.”

“Yes, sir,” Violet nods before she and Claggor depart. 

Captain Vander pulls out a seat for you and invites your father to sit as well. Rather than take the last seat, Captain Vander pours the tea. 

“My Quartermaster Benzo is quite fond of the culinary arts,” he explains, gesturing to the elegant trays of tea cakes, finger sandwiches, and delicate confections. “I tell him every week he should have gone to the culinary arts academy instead of joining the navy with me, but he didn’t want to turn a hobby into a job. We’ll hire an actual cook when The Hound is eventually deployed, but Benzo is happy to do it for now.”

“You trained at the naval academy together?” You take a sip of tea. It’s delicious. Rich and sweetly spiced. Nothing like the mild floral teas stocked in your home.

“Oh, yes. We’ve been thick as thieves since we were children. There was quite a merry band of us for a time.” A shadow flickers across his face but it’s gone in an instant. “We graduated together and ensured we were assigned to the same vessels while we were climbing the ranks. We taught at the academy for a spell, too. That’s where we found Vi, Claggor, Mylo, and a few others. Kept them with us ever since. We’ve become something of a family.”

Your cup clatters against your saucer as you realize why Captain Vander invited you aboard his ship. Perhaps he did want to show off The Hound, but this is his way of introducing you to his family. 

You’ve never met his parents. You don’t even know if he has parents. The Piltover Navy is a common refuge for those with limited options, including orphans. It strikes you just how little you know about the man whose ring you wear on your finger. 

This is exactly why you shouldn’t be his, or anyone’s, damn wife. 

You take another sip of tea while you scramble to come up with an appropriate change of subject. 

“It seems such a shame to keep such an incredible ship bobbing against the dock,” you say. “Might I persuade you to take me on a brief voyage?”

Your father murmurs your name with a smile on his face but a warning in his eyes. You elect to ignore him and fix Captain Vander with your most charming smile. 

“I’ve never gotten the chance to see you in your element, Captain,” you say. “And I would think myself a poor guest for not being able to fully admire The Hound’s splendor and the strong bonds of your crew.” 

That does it. He gives you an indulgent smile before rising from his seat and approaching his First Mate. 

“What are you trying to do?” Your father whispers as soon as Captain Vander is out of earshot. 

“I’m doing what you asked,” you reply, all doe-eyes and fluttering lashes. “I’m taking an interest in the man you’ve sold me to.” 

“It’s a marriage agreement, not indentured servitude.” 

“Then walk down the aisle yourself.” 

All around you, the deck has come to life. Getting a ship of this size underway is no small feat. Bringing your tea with you, you step away from the table and wade into the whirlwind of activity, careful to stay out of the way. Before long, those clean white sails are unfurled and the mooring lines are released. 

Captain Vander stands on the weather deck before the helm, surveying the crew. He gives orders to Violet with calm authority and she relays those orders to the rest of the crew, her voice cracking like a whip. 

You make your way up the steps of the weather deck and position yourself at the bow while The Hound glides toward the heart of the harbor. Captain Vander joins you.

“Why do I have the feeling you’re used to getting your way?” He chuckles.

“On the contrary, Captain, I can’t recall the last time something went my way.” You keep your eyes fixed on the open ocean beyond the shelter of the harbor. 

“If you could have anything you want, right this moment, what would it be?”

You nearly say that you’d ask to be released from your engagement, but you can’t quite bring yourself to do it. Blindsiding him like that, on his own ship no less, would be cruel. You can find a way out of the marriage without inflicting unnecessary pain. 

“Take The Hound beyond the harbor,” you say. 

“Out to sea?”

“Not for long. Just a few minutes.”

“You enjoy the sea, don’t you?”

“I do.” That doesn’t even begin to cover it, but you’re not about to clue Captain Vander into the deepest longings of your heart. 

“Alright.”

You turn to look at him. “Seriously?”

“A few unauthorized minutes at sea won’t kill anyone,” he winks before striding away to dispense fresh orders to the crew. 

You grip the railing as the bow shifts until The Hound is headed straight for open water. The wind picks up and you take in greedy lungfuls until the ache you’ve carried in your chest for years starts to lift. 

Within minutes, The Hound is beyond the shelter of the harbor. Nothing but endless blue stretches out before you. For a moment, you forget who you are and where you are. All you let yourself see is the endless possibilities in front of you. Beautiful countries, wonders beyond imagination, and freedom. 

Far too soon, noise crashes through the fantasy you’ve woven for yourself. It takes you a moment too long to realize the noise isn’t just noise, but cries of alarm. You turn away from the bow to see Captain Vander’s crew darting across the deck, preparing the cannons on the port side. 

You lean over the railing to see a sleek little sloop quickly gaining on The Hound. The black painted hull has seen better days. It’s covered in chips and scrapes. Disheveled men stand on the deck, their shouts laced with malice and sinister glee. Most incredibly, the sails of the rundown sloop are unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. Bolts of deep red stretch against the wind. The color makes you think of pomegranates and dying roses. 

“Get back and stay out of sight.” Captain Vander appears at your side only to vanish after pushing you toward the galley stairs. Your teacup is abandoned on the nearest surface. 

You don’t go below deck, though you probably should. The idea of not being able to see what’s happening is more than you can handle. Instead, you press yourself against the starboard railing and watch the masts of the approaching ship. 

You quickly realize The Hound’s cannons are positioned too high to deal much damage to the other ship, which veers close enough for you to anticipate a collision. 

You watch the opposite railing, waiting to see barbed hooks dig into the wood as the attacking crew prepares to board The Hound, but that doesn’t happen. You hear them jeering and shouting as Captain Vander orders his riflemen to take their positions. 

Something about this isn’t right, besides the obvious. A small number of your father’s shipments have been pirated over the years. Occupational hazard. You’ve never witnessed piracy in person, but you’ve heard the stories. 

Sleek, rundown ships quickly gaining on heavier ships carrying precious cargo. They sneak up right against their target ship, launch hooks and lines followed by crude gangplanks allowing them to board, and then they wreak havoc.  

You check the masts of the other ship. It’s not flying any colors, not even the black flag. You spy someone in the crow’s nest, a skinny girl who looks several years your junior with brilliant blue braids. You can’t make out what she’s doing. From your vantage point, she seems to just be…enjoying herself. She nearly distracts you from the actual problem at hand. The other ship is in the perfect position to board The Hound, but they make no move to do so. 

While you’re grateful for that, you don’t understand why they aren’t pressing their obvious advantage. Who are they? What do they want?

Captain Vander’s crew fires their weapons. Your gaze shoots back to the girl in the crow’s nest but she’s unbothered. In fact, she’s laughing. None of the shots fired from The Hound appear to be directed at her, as far as you can tell. You hear no screams of pain or agony so you have to assume that the riflemen aren’t hitting their targets on purpose. Even your father has found a spare rifle to carry, though you never see him actually fire it. 

You keep a sharp eye on what you can see of the other ship. As soon as the other crew attempts to board, you’ll scurry below deck. 

A hand clamps around your wrist and pulls it behind your back, setting you off balance. You assume you’re being manhandled by a well-meaning member of Captain Vander’s crew and prepare to politely rectify the situation, but then you hear his voice. 

“Scream for me, pretty one.”

Never in your life have you heard a voice like that. All darkness and silk and deadly secrets. For a split second, you’re too stunned to do anything but marvel at the sound. You quickly snap back to reality, teeth bared and anger snapping. 

“Get your hands off me!” You throw your head back, hoping to collide with a face. Instead, the hand on your wrist wrenches your arm further behind your back, sending pain straight into your joints. You lurch forward in an attempt to escape the pressure only to feel the cold kiss of a blade against your throat. You’re trapped and have no choice but to go still.

“There we go. You’re a proper sweetheart with the right leverage, aren’t you?” His breath tickles your neck and you feel a sharp nose brush against the shell of your ear. You fight off a shudder to avoid nicking your throat on his blade.

“I will put the hangman’s noose around your neck myself,” you hiss through gritted teeth.

Your assailant laughs low in your ear, smooth like rolling thunder. “Oh, this is going to be fun. Now, scream.”

Screaming would be the wise thing to do. Captain Vander and the rest of the crew are still trying to drive off the sloop, which you realize must have been a diversion so the man behind you could sneak aboard. Yet, the foolish part of you that writhes with oil-slick anger absolutely refuses to do anything this man says.

“Do I need to make it hurt, beauty?” The blade at your throat moves lower and twists until the point presses against the swell of your left breast. When you say nothing, he presses the knife harder into your skin. You hold your breath, waiting for the faint stinging sensation to grow into true pain, but that never happens. 

“Interesting,” he murmurs but before you can figure out what he means, he lifts his chin. “Captain Vander!”

Captain Vander goes deadly still before slowly turning around, his face a mask of pure rage until he sees you. 

“Let her go,” he says with that same controlled authority he uses when he gives orders to his crew. The man behind you simply laughs. 

“I don’t think you’re in a position to be making demands.” The knife returns to your throat. 

Several of the crew raise their rifles but Captain Vander signals for them to hold. 

A man similar in size to Vander, wearing a stained apron over his uniform, thunders up the stairs. The Quartermaster, you assume. Unfortunately, his booming footfalls alert your assailant to his presence. You’re swiftly moved farther down the deck, your body acting as a perfect shield. 

The Quartermaster’s eyes land on you, then the man behind you. His eyes fill with not only rage but recognition. 

“Silco?” He snarls before looking at Captain Vander. “How the fuck did he get on board?”

They know the man holding you hostage. You aren’t sure if that makes the situation better or worse. 

“Step back, Benzo,” Captain Vander orders. The Quartermaster reluctantly does as he’s told. Dozens of rifles remain trained on you. Surely, one of them is a fine enough marksman to get you out of this predicament. 

“Someone take the bloody shot!” You shout. Isn’t this crew supposed to be the pride of Piltover’s Navy?

“Hold your fire!” Captain Vander insists before fixing your assailant with a murderous look. “What do you want?”

“Your fiancé knows how to cooperate,” the man, Silco, whispers to you. “Perhaps you could learn something from him.”

You fix your gaze straight ahead and say nothing. 

“I’ve come to negotiate a trade,” Silco says. 

“You have nothing I want,” Captain Vander snarls. 

“Don’t I?” Silco pulls you in tighter, your hands trapped between his abdomen and your lower back. You feel him press into the curve of your backside, sending heat to your cheeks that grows into a fever of anger and humiliation when he moans into your hair. “Vander, you lucky devil.”

“Forget the noose, I’ll kill you myself.” Your nerves mutate what should have been a scathing threat into a pathetic whisper. 

“What do you want, Silco?” Captain Vander repeats. 

“Your little treasure is going to come with me. In that lovely office of yours, you’ll find a note detailing a date, a location, and a sum of money. If you follow my instructions, your fiancée will be returned to you unharmed.”

“And if I refuse?”

The blade presses into your throat hard enough to make you flinch. “You wouldn’t make me slit such a pretty throat, would you?” 

“Do something!” Your father stammers, shaking Captain Vander’s arm. For a moment, you think Captain Vander is going to run at Silco or order his crew to open fire, but then his shoulders sink. 

“If she comes to any harm, even a bruise, I will tear you apart.”

Disgust rolls through you as you look from the useless crewmates to your useless father, and finally your useless fiancé.

“I’m glad we could come to an arrangement. Come along, beauty.” Long fingers wrap around both of your wrists, pinning them together behind your back. 

He lowers his blade and you don’t hesitate to dart forward, wrenching your arms against his grip with all your strength but he’s so strong he might as well have you in irons. Your wrists bark in protest as they’re crushed under the pressure of his grip. He yanks you back again, forcing you to stumble and turn toward him. You slam into his chest, hoping to throw him off balance, but he simply laughs. 

“I admire your spirit. I sincerely hope I won’t have to break it.”

You feel the tip of his blade under your chin, forcing you to look up. Your eyes snap to his and you can’t stop the horrified gasp that tumbles from your lips. 

One eye bores into you, blue-green and as volatile as a stormy sea. The other is something out of a nightmare. Black as the depths with a broken iris of pure hellfire surrounded by ruined flesh and jagged scars that stretch all the way down to his mouth. 

You know this man, though not by the name the others called him. You know him only as The Eye. 

You thought he was just a story, a tall tale used to terrify naughty children. During those years at sea, your father often used that story to usher you below deck when passing through waters he deemed dangerous. Hell, you’ve told horror stories about The Eye to scare a cabin boy or two into behaving. 

Never once did you think there was a speck of truth behind those stories of a cursed ship crewed by men twice damned under the orders of a vile, depraved captain who was more monster than man. A monster with an eye gifted to him by the devil himself.    

Those stories never frightened you, but now you realize they should have. 

The monster is very real and he has you in his clutches. 

****

thank you thank you thank you to @silcoitus @sherwood-forests and @averagecrastinator for beta-reading. ioweyoumylifeandlove

[eliza1911o1]

So… Stede as a pirate

… is admittedly a failure, at least from what we’ve seen from s1. He’s understanding instead of ruthless, leads a posh lifestyle with silly indulgences, and overall knows very little about where to even start as a captain. As shown directly by ep 4 after Izzy confronts him about logistics and Ed pressures him into making decisions when he’s ‘Blackbeard’, he literally has no clue what he’s doing. Even by ep 1, we know this already; I believe Jenkins even mentioned that the entire first three episodes were meant to show show who Stede was as a person, including his inadequacies. But moving forward, they explicitly make it a point to have it acknowledged by the other characters as well as the actual plot that Stede really is just that horrible of a pirate

He is repeatedly dismissed by individuals from his old life by being told he’s ruined his life and can not handle piracy. Mary is understandably upset that he would consider moving their family onto a boat and Badminton fails to consider him as a threat because he doesn’t even believe the prospect. Furthermore in his new life he is beaten down by constantly failing while, not only that, but he is constantly compared to the every epitome of a pirate, Blackbeard. Stede is visibly awarded less respect in every situation they both are put into: his crew reverently surrenders to Blackbeard’s leadership, the French aristocrats immediately find him charming, even the British navy only consider him being let off when Blackbeard puts his neck on the line. We are repeatedly shown this derision from both the perspective of others in addition to Stede himself

Literally in ep 1, Stede himself says he’s not meant to be a pirate. Bandminton’s ghost, a figment of his own imagination, spews harsh comments that are actually his own self-derisive thoughts. And, ultimately, Stede rejects the notion of fitting in as a pirate when the begins to conceptualize the idea of the “gentleman pirate”.

Annnnd where am I going with this? Well, in s1 we may have seen Stede being a failure of a pirate, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t get glimpses to a version of Stede that was not only successful, but as ruthless as a pirate is supposed to be. Even before Ed is introduced, we see him excel at fuckery as he trips up Izzy Hands (which I think annoyed tf out him since he thought Stede was so incompetent). Ep 5 he sets a ship on fire and rows away as it burns, then in ep 8 Calico Jack describes Ed pretty much doing the same thing. In ep 5 we have Ed threatening a captain with a knife while he’s held down, then Stede pushing down and threatening someone with a knife in ep 10. We see him succeed at the normally accepted pirate activities, as well as succeed at them using his own unique approach. That ship is burnt down from passive aggression, his crew respects him out of love not fear, and we see that though his ways seem stupid they aren’t entirely admissible

We already see him looking like the most perfect dashing pirate from a romance drama at the end of ep 10, but I would bet that we’re also going to see him perfect the “gentleman pirate” act too. Others have even said that we might see a complete role reversal, with Ed falling apart as Stede comes into his own rather than Stede constantly failing at the figure of the average ideal of a pirate, which I think is so important because the show has made it clear they’re equals and nothing less and though I don’t think Stede will ever be a perfect pirate he deserves to get some recognition and stand proudly beside his husband

[izzy-b-hands]

Stede’s kids, aka two little shits lol, come looking for him. On their own. In a dinghy.

They truly are his children.

I guessed on their ages, so put them about idk, like 8 or 9, maybe 10 at the oldest for Alma and maybe five or six for Louis, somewhere about there. I may be wrong or off but I’m winging it for now until I find anything definitive re: how old they are in show canon lol.

A note, I did combine some historical stuff for Stede here. Mainly his first son, named Allamby, who had died by 1715 per Wikipedia.

TW for descriptions of child death re: Allamby (made up, because I couldn’t find much to give an exact cause of death, so I just rolled with it.)

I stared at this all day and I think I caught any accidentally a words or major fuck ups, but if I missed something pls let me know and I’ll fix it ASAP dsklfjaskl. Also, if any additional trigger tags are wanted that I missed, let me know and I’ll add them them right away!

---

“Another letter from the kids,” Ed said as he handed the envelope to Stede. “I’ll bet they still want to come out with us.”

“And I’ve told them their mother will not allow that at this time, understandably,” Stede chuckled. “But we’ll remind them.”

He opened the letter and started to read. “Oh.”

“Oh?”

Stede nodded and handed the letter back, moving to sit on a nearby barrel. He’d expected some whining that he hadn’t come back for a bit, or to allow them to sail with him for at least a week or two (Mary wasn’t entirely against it; she simply wanted them to be older before they did so, and that no raid would take place while they were aboard. Sensible requirements that Stede agreed with wholeheartedly.)

He hadn’t expected this.

“They’re looking for us?” Ed said, shocked. “They aren’t old enough for that. Are they?”

“How old were you when you left to be a pirate?”

“Sixteen, or about there,” Ed replied. “How old are yours again?”

“Not that,” Stede laughed nervously. “Oh god.”

“No, don’t panic,” Ed said. “After all, they’re your kids. Smart, good head on their shoulders.”

“And a proclivity to make rash, potentially dangerous and/or poor decisions?”

Ed paused. “Well. Yeah, that too.”

“Should we head their way and see if we can’t find them?” Stede asked. In his head, all he could see were two panicked children aboard a dinghy, in rough seas, potentially about to drown or starve if they somehow survived it-

“You’re picking at the thread on your jacket,” Ed interrupted the stream of potential catastrophes. “Take a breath.”

“I will, when we find them.”

--

“What else did the letter say?” Olu asked.

“They’ve bought their own provisions, weapons-” Ed read, then paused to laugh. “That’s wonderful! Not even my kids and I’m proud of them. Wonder what they picked up for that, because-”

“Ed,” Stede interrupted. “They likely stole money from their mother, oh god I hadn’t considered that yet. Forget being hung for piracy, Mary’s going to kill me first.”

“No one is getting hung for being a pirate, and I’m sure Mary will...” Ed hesitated. “You know, if we all go ashore, you’ll have a head start.”

“I think I need to lie down.”

“Children are much more resilient than you think,” Izzy offered. “They’re probably perfectly fine.”

“Or dead,” Stede chuckled. “I’ll make myself walk the plank if that’s the case!”

“I don’t think anyone actually does that,” Pete frowned.

“What, make someone walk the plank?” Lucius asked. “Or let their kids die at sea?”

Stede whimpered, and Ed wrapped an arm around his waist.

“Let’s not say dead unless we should find them that way,” Ed said. “And no, walking the plank really isn’t a thing. Sorry, love.”

“Right,” Stede nodded. “Then you can tie the anchor to me and drop me overboard! Maybe let Mary do it, that would only be right. And any loot could go towards funerals-”

He let himself drop out of Ed’s grip to sit on the deck, staring into space. He didn’t exactly want to take back all the years of playing pirate, but at the same time, maybe they wouldn’t have come looking for him if he hadn’t done so.

Ed peered down. “So, we’re going to take the lead on this, and I’m going to help Stede to bed. Sound good, Stede?”

He managed a nod, and didn’t fight when Ed and Izzy helped him up and more or less dragged him to their quarters.

“Try to rest, and think of something else,” Ed said as they dropped him into bed. “Read a book, distract yourself.”

He went to the shelves, and pulled out a book on the designing of children’s funerals, and dealing with grief.

Ed frowned. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Come on,” Izzy whispered. “Sooner we find them, sooner he’ll either be alright, or we’ll lock him in here so he doesn’t jump overboard.”

--

“Do we know what they look like?” Roach asked.

“No,” Ed replied.

“Names?”

“Alma and Louis,” Ed said.

“Anything else?”

Ed looked back to the letter. “Alma has very nice handwriting?”

The crew groaned collectively.

“None of that,” Izzy scolded. “That isn’t helping.”

“More information would be helpful too,” Frenchie said. “What do we look for otherwise?”

“It’s two kids in a boat, probably just out there floating!” Jim shouted. “The fuck else do you think we need to look for?”

“Whoa, okay,” Olu took Jim’s hand. “Good point though, there can’t be that many younger kids out for a jaunt on the sea without any parents or someone to keep an eye on them.”

Frenchie raised his hand.

“Yup,” Ed nodded. “Go on.”

“Does their mum know they’re gone?”

Silence.

Izzy opened his mouth, then shut it and looked to Ed for direction.

“Possibly,” Ed finally said. “They didn’t say in the letter.”

“So in other words, their mum and her boyfriend might also be out there?”

Ed pondered it in a silent panic. “Yeah. Yeah, they might be.”

“Actually then, we’re looking for four people,” Frenchie said. “Good to know. Really hope we don’t accidentally find them by running over their dinghies.”

“I know we’re all probably a little scared for all of them,” Olu said. “But we need to keep our shit together. Stede’s lost his enough for all of us, frankly.”

“They are his kids,” Ed said sharply. “Though I wonder about the oldest one. Why didn’t he go with?”

“Isn’t the daughter the oldest?” Olu asked.

“Thought so, but before he came back I went snooping through his things,” Ed said. “And there’s a mention of a son, Allamby. He’s the first kid listed on anything that mentioned his family.”

“Could be he’s old enough that he didn’t want to go,” Roach offered.

“Then why not stop the other two?” Frenchie asked. “They’d tell an older sibling at least before they left. I would, were it me. Brother won’t necessarily yell at you about it, even if he doesn’t like it, and he could have been the one to give them money too.”

“We’re wasting time,” Wee John said. “Let’s get to actually looking for them, and then we can ask them about all of this.”

“Capital idea,” Ed declared. “All hands then, let’s get the show on the road.”

“At least we know they’ll be dressed fancy, if they’re that much like Stede,” Frenchie murmured to Wee John. “Could spot a bright silk from a mile away.”

--

The first three days were fruitless. Stede ate when food was brought to him, drank when water was presented. At night, he walked the deck while the others slept, no matter how much Ed protested. He argued that he slept enough during the days to distract himself from the worst possibilities, the least he could was take the night watch to see if they might be spotted then.

On day four, Ed joined him.

“Can I ask you something?”

Stede nodded, still looking out into the dark at the far end of the deck. The sea was calm, and the moon bright. Perfect conditions to find one’s missing children.

“Why didn’t their older brother go with?”

Stede turned. “Alma is our oldest.”

“Who is Allamby then? I may have peeked at some of your stuff before you came back, and-”

Stede shook his head. “I sort of wish you hadn’t.”

“I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have,” Ed said, and took Stede’s hand, reassured when he grasped back tightly. “I won’t again, not without your permission.”

“No, it isn’t the biggest deal in the world,” Stede sighed. “Allamby was our actual first. But he passed a few years ago.”

“When?”

Stede sighed again. “1715.”

“That’s only two years ago,” Ed scoffed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He’s gone and buried,” Stede replied. “What would there be to tell?”

“I’d imagine a lot,” Ed said softly. “How old was he?”

“Five,” Stede said, with another squeeze of Ed’s hand. “Very sweet. Liked picking flowers with me, to bring home to Mary. Wanted to study flowers, actually. Told me how he’d like to discover new ones, and he could name them after all of us.”

“Ambitious,” Ed laughed. “All that at five?”

“He had a plan for almost all of it,” Stede chuckled. “Didn’t really have any idea of how he’d make money to live of course, but truthfully I would have happily paid his way until he was on his feet. And even then, if ever he needed anything, all he would have had to do was ask.”

“What about playing pirate?”

Stede grinned, and finally turned to face Ed. “He loved it. Insisted we go down to the beach to play, the house wasn’t where a pirate would live! We’d walk down and he’d talk about everything involved with it: what weapons he’d use, what he’d most like to have as loot, even how he’d decorate his ship.”

“Flowers?”

“Lots of them. Painted on the walls, on the hull. Didn’t mind that it would mean repainting often. It was a worthy effort to him.”

He leaned into Ed, and Ed slipped his hand from Stede’s to wrap it around his waist instead.

“What happened? If you don’t mind my asking.”

Stede again looked to the sea. It was empty as it had been before.

“We don’t really know. He went to bed as usual, after two extra bedtime stories no less, and the next morning,” Stede’s voice caught in his throat. “He didn’t wake up. We thought he was having a lie in, since he did on occasion. Gave him an extra half hour to sleep or play in his room, whatever he was up to. Then Mary asked that I go up and bring him down for a late breakfast.”

Ed reached with his free hand to wipe a tear off Stede’s cheek as it fell. “Stede, if you want to stop-”

“No, he deserves to be known about,” Stede choked. “After we chose to not tell Alma or Louis about him, at least for now. That leaves only me and Mary and our parents, but they never did like him much. Too much like me, I suppose.”

He took a deep shaking breath. “I went up to get him. And it seemed awfully quiet, but he could sleep deeply. He’d played hard the day before too, all day at the beach, being the best pirate he could be!”

Stede smiled. “He would have loved it out here. I’m sure of it. Not that Mary would have wanted him out here either, but maybe when he was older, she would have...well. I suppose that doesn’t matter now.”

Ed nodded and tried to hold him tighter.

“I just thought he was sleeping deeply again,” Stede said. “He looked fine. Out cold, but fine. No blue in his lips, no gray on his skin. Not at that point, at least. But I couldn’t rouse him.”

Ed didn’t say a word, and waited for Stede.

“It was ridiculous, sitting on his bed, trying to shake him awake. Even went and got a glass of water and poured it over him, the poor thing!” Stede was openly crying now. His eyes hadn’t left the glassy water that surrounded them. “How he would have shouted any other morning if I’d done that! And it would have been deserved!”

Stede wiped away his tears, but they fell as fast as he could remove them. “Felt his forehead, expected a fever. He was cold.”

There was no wind, and the night was cool but not enough to chill. Stede shivered nonetheless.

“I picked him up and ran downstairs and called for Mary and to send for the doctor, or whoever could come by quickest that had any knowledge that might help,” Stede continued. “She knew before I did. Accepted it before I did, more like. She’d warned me before we tried for children, that there was always risk. They could die in childbirth and take her with them. Could have a horrid accident. Could be sick enough to die. Could simply die while in their cot, as a baby.”

He took a gasping breath. “But not at that age. Far too old to be a cot death. But it didn’t matter. Mary waited for the doctor at the door, and I stayed with him. Held him until the doctor made me let go.”

“And Mary?”

“Devastated as I was, but she didn’t fall apart like me until the burial. I think it really hit then. We spent days in the house, not eating, not sleeping. We talked once about what if we went to his grave and checked. Maybe he was really alright, and what if we’d buried him alive?! He’d be scared and want us and he’d think we had abandoned him.”

Ed gently prompted him to walk, to try and get him to their quarters or anywhere that he couldn’t watch the waves. At least for a few moments.

But Stede didn’t move an inch. “We nearly did it, too. Mary borrowed some of my old things, so she could move more easily. We were at the door, shovels in hand, and then we realized what we were doing.”

He sobbed. “And it would be pointless. He’d be as pale and lifeless as he’d been at his wake, in his coffin.”

It was by some grace that Izzy came out of his room, headed for the galley. At seeing them, he changed direction and strode over.

“Did we find them?” he asked Ed in a whisper.

“No,” Ed whispered back. “Could you help me get him to our quarters? I can take over the rest of the night watch.”

“You stay with him,” Izzy said. “I can do it. It’ll be nearly light before we know it anyway.”

With a bit more prompting and gentle pulling, they got Stede to walk away from the rail of the deck.

--

“Got something!” Frenchie called from the crow’s nest. “Small vessel, not close enough to see all who’s in it though!”

“Dinghy is ready,” Izzy said as he jogged past Ed towards it. “Roach?”

“On my way,” Roach hustled up behind him, kit of medicines and bandages and everything else in one hand. In the other was a small bag. “Got sandwiches and some jars of water in here. No offense to them, but I can’t imagine kids can estimate how much they’d need...”

“We fuck that up often enough ourselves,” Ed said. “And we’re old enough to know better.”

“And yet,” Izzy sighed, but it had no teeth behind it.

Ed tried to get a better look at the dinghy as they slowly made their approach. “I still can’t tell...looks empty.”

As they made their way beside it, he saw he was right. Still a jug of water and a basket of oranges, set by two daggers. But otherwise, empty.

“Fuck,” Izzy said softly. “Maybe they abandoned it and went ashore somewhere?”

“Why would they leave their supplies?” Roach asked.

Before any one of them could speculate, there was a ripple in the water.

Ed felt a hand grasp his at the edge of the dinghy.

Then, a face. “Oh shit! Louis, come back up!”

They watched as Alma dove back underwater and brought Louis up, a fish in his hands. “I caught one! Can we really stop somewhere to cook it and eat it? Can we go now?”

“No!” Alma looked over fearfully to them as she pushed Louis into their dinghy. “We don’t have anything you’d want! We’re looking for our dad, and he’s a pirate! Most fearsome to sail the sea, so if you’re planning to rob or kill us...”

She paused, clearly out of breath from swimming and panic. “Well, I would reconsider it!”

Izzy smiled, then broke into laughter. “Yeah, these are his. Fucking fuck, Bonnet.”

“You know him!” Alma pulled herself into their vessel, and moved her wet hair out of her eyes. “Where is he?”

“We sail with him,” Ed replied. “And he’s been a mess looking for you two, after he got your letter.”

“Told you he’d meet us halfway,” Louis said. “I told you!”

“Oh shut up,” Alma sighed. “Sorry about him, but he’s always like this, I should warn you-”

“I’m not like anything! I’m being polite and I was even going to offer to share my fish with them!”

“How about we tow you back with us, and then we’ll see about the fish,” Roach smiled. “I’m our chef and surgeon, so maybe you could help me cook it.”

Louis grinned, and set the dead fish on the bottom of the boat to hand over the rope tied to the dinghy.

“Curious,” Ed said as they started the trip back. “Did you two steal this?”

“Of course we did,” Alma scoffed. “We’re pirates.”

Izzy was still having giggle fits, even as he rowed. “Yes, yes you are.”

--

“Dad, ow. Dad! Help!” Louis cried out as Stede picked him up in a bear hug.

“Okay, let’s not suffocate him, metaphorically or literally,” Lucius said as he rushed over. “Hi! Your dad really missed you.”

“I can tell,” Louis said, voice muffled with his face jammed into Stede’s silk waistcoat.

“I was so worried about you,” Stede said as he finally set poor Louis down. “Did you tell your mother that you left?”

“I left her a note,” Alma said, then backed up as Stede moved for her. “Dad, I’m too big to pick up, Dad!”

He did all the same. “And look at you! Sailing in that dress! How on earth did you manage that?”

“You get used to it,” Alma said. “You’re squishing my lungs, I think.”

“Sorry,” Stede set her back on her feet. “I just. I thought you two were dead, and I had no idea how I’d tell your mother or what I’d do; it isn’t as if I’m likely to have any more children and...”

“Dad, you don’t have to cry,” Alma said, but she wrapped her arms around him and nestled her head into his neck.

“I’m hungry,” Louis said. “Mr. Roach, can we go cook my fish?”

“Yeah buddy, we can,” Roach replied. “Ed, if Stede’s looking for him-”

“I’ll let him know,” Ed interrupted gently, brushing away a tear of his own. “Let us know when dinner’s ready, hm?”

“Of course.”

The rest of the crew kept on with their various chores, but all of them stayed on the main deck, watching Stede lead Alma around to show her the ship. In return, she told him how they’d left, stolen their boat, how she’d been saving her allowance to buy everything from their food to their daggers.

No one interrupted directly, but there were smiles and soft giggles all around.

Ed was the only one following after them, listening in and silently cheering at Alma’s resourcefulness. Of all the Bonnets, she seemed the one who might not need any teaching about piracy. Maybe too young, but well prepared for it all the same.

“I am...” Stede sighed happily. “Your mother wouldn’t like to hear this, but I am so proud of you both. What you did was very dangerous-”

“You’ve said that like a hundred times already,” Alma interrupted.

“I know, I know, but I’m your dad. I have to say things like that, so you’re more careful in the future.”

Alma rolled her eyes, but smiled. “Fine, then we’ll board and steal a bigger ship next time.”

“Next time!”

“That or you come back and let us come with now and then,” she said with a little happy hop.

“While that would be a lovely achievement, I think it better I arrange with your mum something that would let you two come out and sail a bit,” Stede said. “If my co-captain is agreeable to it.”

He peered back to Ed with a hopeful smile.

“Absolutely! Say, how good are you two with those daggers?”

Alma blushed. “We aren’t. We didn’t get to practice before we left, and we’ve only used fake swords before.”

“Then I say we get you some lessons on knives with Jim before we take you two home,” Ed said.

“Which is Jim?”

He pointed out Jim, currently winning a knife-throwing contest against Frenchie and Wee John, with the Swede keeping score.

“Whoa,” Alma breathed out as Jim made their best throw yet. “Can I learn how to do that?”

“Jim can teach you that, and I’ll teach you how to take out an eyeball with a dagger, how about that?”

Her eyes shone. “Really?”

He looked to Stede, who chuckled. “I suppose. Better earlier than later, if you’re really going to be a pirate.”

She cheered and rushed away to Jim. They watched her tug on Jim’s coat, mouth moving a mile a minute as she pointed to Jim’s knife.

Jim looked back to them, seemingly waiting for permission.

Stede gave them a nod, and immediately Jim knelt down and handed Alma their knife, showing her how to hold it before tossing it.

“Think Mary’s still going to kill you?” Ed asked.

“Maybe not. Once we bring them back and work something out properly, and I’m sure they’ll need to promise not to run off on their own again. She might show mercy on me then.”

Stede leaned into him, arm at his waist, and they watched the rest of the knife throwing lesson in a contented silence.

--

“Roach said I did the best job he’s ever seen,” Louis told Stede proudly as they sat down to dinner. His fish was too small to share with everyone, but a portion were on his and Alma’s plates. “I bet I could learn how to be a ship’s chef from him.”

“He’s our surgeon too,” Stede said. “That means learning about bodies and blood and guts!”

Louis grinned. “Cool.”

“They get that from Mary,” Stede told Ed, sitting a spot away from him beside Alma. “She’s got an iron stomach.”

“You’re getting better with that,” Ed said. “Sometimes you just need to be around it more to get used to it.”

“Jim taught me how to throw a knife,” Alma leaned past Stede to Louis. “And Ed’s gonna teach me how to take out an eyeball!”

“Ew,” Louis giggled. “Can I learn too?”

Ed smiled warmly. “Stede, I love them. They’re awesome. I had never really thought about kids-”

“Is Ed like our stepdad like Doug?” Louis interrupted.

Stede looked to Ed with a chuckle. “Well, Doug said you two sort of decided if he was or not. What do you think about Ed?”

“Makes sense he would be,” Alma replied. “Cause Doug teaches us how to paint, and now Ed’s gonna be teaching us stuff too. Plus he’s dating you.”

They both blinked. They’d not so much as kissed in front of them yet.

“How do you know that?” Stede asked.

“I have eyes,” Alma said. “And you two act the way Mum and Doug do. You make eyes at each other.”

“I suppose we do,” Stede blushed.

“You’re literally doing it right now,” Alma said, and looked across the table to Jim. “Do they do this all the time?”

“Yes,” came a chorus of voices.

“We aren’t that bad,” Ed said.

“I bet they kiss like all the time,” Louis said.

“They do,” Izzy stage-whispered from his spot by Jim. “And hold hands, and-”

Alma and Louis broke into giggles, cutting him off.

“Alright, we have a decent feast tonight!” Roach announced as he finished setting down the last dish, covered by a high metal dome. “Hard tack, a stew that I think finally everyone will like, and-”

He lifted the dome off the dish. “Thanks to Alma and Louis, we had more than enough oranges for a cake!”

Louis turned to Stede, mouth open to speak.

“One piece for tonight,” Stede said before he could get out a word.

“Okay, but-”

“Stew first, then cake. It’ll taste better that way.”

Louis nodded. “And my fish before the stew!”

“Of course,” Stede said.

Dishes were passed from hand to hand, until plates were full. Everyone dug in, but Stede took the opportunity to take it all in.

Maybe, now and again, he could have both. His family at sea, and some of his family on land, together.

If he saved some cake for Mary, she’d be potentially more likely to say yes, and he made a mental note to set enough aside for her and Doug.

And maybe one extra piece, for Alma and Louis to share before bed.

[skyward-heir]

some thoughts, because i need to purge myself:

i wish we could see a more morally complex world, them being pirates and all. not saying it isn't, but narratively it seems we're too limited to Stede's sanitized (dare i say, romantic) version of piracy: one where you can afford not to kill others—need not cast away parts of yourself—in order to survive, where your reputation isn't relevant because you don't need to board vessels for loot. protagonist-centered morality isn’t necessarily bad, but it'd be nice if s2 could change that a bit, what with Stede finally getting the "it's not about you" treatment. and please more female characters 🙏🏻

Oluwande, my beloved, i wish i was this cool. i just, i'm in awe at his common sense, his cuteness, his empathy! taking no shit from anyone! ahhhhh

congrats to Jim for having actually intelligible Spanish, for once, in an English-speaking production. i'm a native speaker (greeting from Argentina!), but my gods, why productions usually make it so hard to understand the designated Spanish-speaking character? (i know, expose yourself to other dialects outside your own, but like, sound mix teams do your job i beg you)

no thoughts, just... Frenchie 💖

didn't care at first for Lucius (might've been the sideburns i'll admit ajslkjk), but having the emotional braincell in this ship made me really like him

neither did i care for Stede, but like ✨ character development ✨ and gods he's great. love him. hopefully, the narrative will continue to push the whole 'be a little less self-centred my guy' thing. also i'd like for him to interact more with people who aren't Ed (and Ed with people who aren’t Stede). look i love their scenes together, but it'd be nice to see them outside the romance angle y'know?

Ed, honey, love you but please grow a beard again. it looks so good! anyway, been reading meta/headcanons on his Ambiguous Disorder™ and who he "really" is, but i think the outfit invites a comparison to... Road Warrior. in a world of nightmarish seas roads where "only those mobile enough to scavenge, brutal enough to pillage, would survive" and pirates gangs "took over the highways ready to wage war for a tank of juice", ordinary men like Max (a cop scared that he was beginning to enjoy the rat circus, only a badge saying he's a good guy) are "battered and smashed". despite taking his revenge, Max is the shell of a burn-out, desolate man, haunted by the demons of his past, who wandered out to a blighted place and learned to live again. (and that's like the intro only.) anyway, he lives in the wasteland, helping out only when it suits him, uninterested in companionship or a chance to rebuild his life. ("come with us." / "what are you looking for out there? [...] there is a better way!" → "i never get involved") yet there is kindness: even when he's lost everything, he can still reclaim his humanity. so where am i going with this? no idea. maybe it's about Ed being a legend, about struggling with trauma but surviving no matter what, about choosing solitude, about enjoying the violence, about atonement. that he needs to acknowledge forging himself in fire and blood, instead of handwaving it. (...also the outfit is mmgh 🤤)

how could i not sympathize with Izzy when he's out there living a Greek tragedy, victim of his own hubris, destined to fail and realize all too late he's only got himself to blame. that he's superfluous, unneeded in any way or form... least of all by Ed. ("i need you here"? where was that sentiment after the duel?) because they're not even friends, if Ed's to be believed. at "stages of fucking each other over" and all that. could there be more to their 'dysfunctional love' than the Intricate Rituals™? if so, the self-sabotage is all on him, isn't it? and no matter how 'deeply in love' Izzy is, he'll have to admit defeat to the man who's bested him in every single way that matters, who loathed him—and rightly so everyone would tell him—at first sight. (if he even lives until that point. alternatively, he'll have to fuck off for good so everyone can live happily ever after.) to admit that whatever he and Ed have matters so little that being maimed while he's completely vulnerable is acceptable. so, yeah, kinda tragic. i'd love a redemption arc for Izzy. like if the repressed white dude with far more privilege, who is consistently bad at not really seeing beyond his own needs unless someone calls him out, can change for the better, why can't Izzy? (something something palatable forms of trauma, something something Die For Our Ship at play, something something Steddyhands please askjlskj)

all three of them (Stede, Ed, and Izzy) i love precisely because they're flawed so i just can't understand the necessity of certain fans to reduce three-dimensional characters to 'never did anything wrong' while demonizing the other, instead of accepting it takes two to tango, as they say

[lancelotdeservedbetter]

OK but pirates wouldn't have cared if merlin was a sorcerer. They were superstitious but also liked having witches on their side so, if anything, pirates would have just been merlin's friends and hated arthur (like gwaine)

ohh yes yes i love this so if pirates liked having witches on their side what if a crew just adopted merlin. like just kept him around because it was lucky to have a sorcerer around. he doesn't have to do any magic, just be on the ship. and merlin is like actually you know what this is a lot easier than my day job. fuck it let's go.

so he just fucks off into the sea with these pirates and arthur assumes he's been kidnapped and goes after them and eventually tracks them down and is so confused when he sees merlin just chilling on the deck like

arthur: merlin! i'm here to rescue you

merlin: what from who

arthur: the pirates! who kidnapped you! actually why aren't you tied up? i think you're supposed to tie up hostages

one of merlin's new pirate friends: merlin isn't a hostage! he's part of the crew

arthur: the crEw?? doing what??

pirate: he is for luck

arthur: .. does he fight people?

pirate: no

arthur: does he clean??

pirate: no. he is for luck. what are you not getting

arthur: so your whole job is to just sit there, look pretty and eat stale biscuits?

merlin: yes. and aren't i good at it? i've found my calling

arthur: ok. alright. i hate being alive. ok. goodbye. i wish you'd been kidnapped.

and arthur goes back to camelot to update the knights, who track down the ship. arthur assumes they misunderstood what happened and the trip is for vengeance. he is incorrect. every single one of them tries to get a job on the ship as "lucky charm", with the only exceptions being Leon, who gets seasick and Lancelot, who is friends with the captain and already accidentally involved in the piracy game. he destroyed a few ships he didn't know what was going on. he's wanted internationally. it's not a big deal. the pirates say only sorcerers are lucky charms, which foils most of them but not Elyan, who reaches into his pocket

pirate: what is this. what am i seeing

elyan: pick a card any card

pirate: alright pack it up i said real sorcerers only

elyan: was this your card

pirate: holY FUCK YES THATS MY CARD WELCOME ABOARD

Percival doesn't try to thwart the magic only rule but just pretends like he was there the whole time. none of the pirates fully believe him but nobody wants to be the one to say 'are you sure you were here' on the offchance he was and his feelings would be hurt

Gwaine is desperate to impress the pirates

gwaine: please let me come please i need this

pirate: you're not our kind of guy sorry

gwaine, close to tears: not our- Do you see my hair?? my slutty shirt??? what do you want from me?? you want me to push arthur overboard? i'll do it, say the word

arthur: what

gwaine: silence, bait

pirate: that won't be necessary

gwaine, visibly disappointed: oh

merlin, who has just been silently watching this absolute shitshow with an amused smile on his face, vouches for gwaine so the captain lets him onboard. merlin makes up some shit about how gwaine is the lucky charm's lucky charm. nobody wants to point out how gwaine and merlin combined tends to lead to utter carnage and has never once given anyone anything close to "good luck".

ALTERNATIVELY

the entire show is just on pirate ships and they all wear the funky pirate shirts and no explanation is provided and it is never mentioned at any point

in conclusion yes PIRATES!!! the only thing hotter than an enemy of the state is an enemy of all states on a fuckin boat. iconic