#i was going to put lilith before i remembered she's ace

[owlhousethings]

Young Eda: What's my sexuality?! I don't fucking know! I'm not straight, and that's all that matters. Well, maybe that's unfair to the straights. Some of my best friends are straight! Well, one of them. Well, I know them, and Odalia is a perfectly tolerable person in small doses!

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

The Ultimate Vriska Poll - Calling for Nominations

My Tumblr Sexywoman poll is going well and I'm having a lot of fun, so I'm thinking of holding a poll to find Tumblr's most iconic Vriska-archetype character. If you don't know what a Vriska archetype is, Tumblr user @doubleca5t coined the term as follows:

Sexypedia didn't have a specific page for the Vriska archetype (the link shown in the screenshot leads to a page titled "Controversial"), but here's what it has to say on the topic:

Now that Tumblr's had time to get a smattering of blorbos that can be considered Vriskas, I want to pit these bad bitches against each other. I want to put them in a box and shake them until they fight to the death. I want the intense campaigning, voter fraud, and sabotage that happened around the original Vriska Serket in the Tumblr Sexywoman poll by Tumblr user @lutzlig. But I want it 32-fold.

The start date for this tournament will tentatively be February 19th. The structure will likely be like the Tumblr Sexywoman poll. Before that, I will be collecting a list of at least 16, preferably 32, Vriska-archetype characters. I will be considering nominations until February 17th, 6 PM PST.

The character you nominate must fulfill at least 4/5 of the requirements of a Vriska. UPDATE: I have decided to expand requirement 4 to just "queer" instead of strictly "attracted to women." Requirements 2, 3, and 5 are mandatory. This is so that male (and nb) characters like Bakugou from BNHA can still participate. As well as characters that don't really get shipped a lot. Like Lilith from The Owl House. (I'm sorry queen I've found someone more controversial) However, I will reject characters if I feel they fall more into other archetypes. Like Komaedas.

The list so far is as follows:

Vriska Serket (duh) (Homestuck)

Catra (She Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Lucretia (The Adventure Zone)

Bakugou Katsuki (Boku No Hero Academia)

Chloe Bourgeois (Miraculous Ladybug)

Alador Blight (The Owl House)

Edelgard Von Hresvelg (Fire Emblem)

Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond (Steven Universe)

Ianthe Tridentarius (The Locked Tomb)

Princess Bubblegum (Adventure Time)

Azula (Avatar the Last Airbender)

Mapleshade (Warrior Cats)

Amber Bennett (Invincible)

Starlight Glimmer (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic)

Asuka Langley Soryu (Evangelion)

Abby Anderson (The Last of Us)

Silco (Arcane)

Magnus The Red (Warhammer 40K)

Yennefer (Witcher)

Alphys (Undertale)

King Andrias (Amphibia)

C!Dream (Dream SMP)

Hiyoko Saionji (Super Danganronpa 2)

Sayaka Maizono (Danganronpa Trigger Happy Havoc)

Prince Lotor (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Homura Akemi (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

Dahlia Hawthorne (Ace Attorney)

Kiwi (Cyberpunk Edgerunners)

Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)

Alice "Daisy" Tonner (The Magnus Archives)

Nanami Kiryuu (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

Grace Monroe (Infinity Train)

If you want to add or remove a character on this list, DM or send me an ask. I may ask you for clarification if I'm not familiar with the franchise or fandom. Remember that this poll is just for fun. While I love a bit of drama, I hope it's kept at a level where everyone's still having fun. This poll, like the sexywoman poll, is about the most "iconic" Vriska. What that means is up to the individual voter.

Pandora

[kousaka-ayumu]

Retrospectives

Warnings: Broken english

Kaida is staring at her diary, hand on her forehead thinking about Sebek's behaviour.

He's always acting strange, but now he's even mode stranger, though he's not the only one.

Ace, Epel, Minako have also acting strange too but most importantly Deuce's. Wierd, with her hearing, she should be able to know about the reasons why, but it didn't?

Now that she thought about it, there we're like 6 overblots this year, she was never there when Riddle, Leona and Azul overblot but she was there when Jamil, Vil and Idia overblot.

Not to mention Haru also acted strange, they almost tired, and she's worried for them though she never showed through her expression, she usually showed it through her body language.

Now that she thought about it Deuce was also acting strange too, she knows he liked her and she likes him too, if you ask her, she pointed to her ear.

She sigh as she finished writing in her diary and putting down her pen, she looked out the window, it was nighttime now. Looks like she's going to stay up night again how many times? She doesn't know....

The next day:

History class is over and now lunch has arrived, she sat at the table with the rest of Midnight Rose PreCure discussing their plans to defeat Ciaran secretively since they didn't want anyone to know, especially how the fairies wanted to keep the whole Precure thing a secret.

What about her? She's still a PreCure and her being one of the most experienced ones ended up being a support pillar for them, no she did not get attached to them if she did they may ended up the same way as Charlotte did. (Yeah totally didn't attached to them -_-)

"How do we deal with one of the generals?"

"I don't know!"

"Maybe we should split up."

"If we did then they take advantage of it and summoned the Minions of The Dead again."

"Maybe we should do it without them knowing?"

As they ended up discussing what plans they have, Kaida is trying to hear what the First Years(Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Sebek and Minako) when she ended up hearing something that shook her "Yumeri" and "Overblot".

She realized that she forgot something. The next concert.

"Guys, have we forgot something.." She said, all eyes we're on her, her faerie which is a porcelain doll named Merria stared at her.

"What is it, Kaida?" The fairie said.

"The concert?"

And all hell breaks loose.

"Oh cheesecakes we forgot!"

"Don't worry I have the lyrics." She said as she pulled up a stack of paper, it's the lyrics for the next lyrics with the name "I Am Rain"

"Oh thank you Kaida! I will composed it today." Hokori said as Kaida handed over the lyrics.

"I'll meet you guys over for practice.. I have something to do.." She said as she leaves and her fairie followed her.

"Okay bye ٩(ര̀ᴗര́)ᵇʸᵉ!" Taiyou yelled cheerfully which unintentionally hurt Kaida's ears a little, ouch.

She ended up hearing a little bit of Sebek's voice, and before she knew it she ended up hearing their conversations and ended up in a very dark corridor of the school.

"You heard about Moonlight Bloom having a concert next week?" That's Ace's voice

"Yeah, not gonna lie, I was excited for them." Jack's voice

"It's means it's going to a perfect for another overblot!" Sebek's voice?! Her eyes widened in shock.

"Wonder who is going to overblot tonight?" Minako?! She knew she shouldn't be surprised that Minako is Lilith's daughter, yet why is this suprise her..

"Yumeri is the best choice, since she told me about her past." DEUCE?! Her eyes widened as she heard the revelation, is Deuce always like this? She thought he's going to be a great honor student and a police officer in the future...

"Heh? I never thought you be like this Deuce.." She said softly, no one heard it and left.

Sure she can't remember a lot during her time in Ninjago, and she didn't want to know about that, and is used to people dying around her, but betraying her... She wasn't used to that and it's from her crush... At least he's alive so she didn't have to worry about that.. Yet the thought of betraying someone makes her sick to her stomach..

She clutched her neon green ribbon of her uniform, feeling betrayed..

@zexal-club @yukii0nna @queen-of-twisted @yumeko2sevilla @writing-heiress @liviavanrouge @childofwitches @marrondrawsalot

[i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away]

How would they know?

the absolute lack of sex Ed in my school has lead to hilarious and concerning situations. I found out about std's through a comments chain on tumblr 3 years after I learned about periods. no one told me shit, and I'm really glad I'm ace. so I made it into a fic about my current hyper fixation (avoiding work btw) warrior nun season one, canon compliant ish

cw : discusses sex Ed or a lack or it, no detail, just the word std at worst

"AVA!" screeched Lilith, "This is a church!" Ava continued sniggering at her joke, "and you're a prude." "I am a sister warrior and I am trying to eat breakfast, you-" Mary interjected "Hey, that's enough. Both of you."

Neither of them had to decency to feel ashamed but had the brains to look as if they did. Ava stuck out her tounge at Lilith, who lunged at her across the table.

"Hey, I said enough" Mary grunted, restraining the very upset nun. "No more baby making jokes, and no murdering" Ava looked confused, "hey I made a sex joke, not.. whatever you said." Beatrice gasped, "you made a- I-" and Mary slowly turned toward the warrior nun. "Ava, tell me you know what happens when two people do it."

Bewildered, Ava said "Ya know, fun stuff, and stds?" Mary and everyone at the table froze. Lilith snorted "no, you dumbass child. you get pregnant. who gave even you the talk?"

Ava looked around the table "um. what talk?" Now, even Lilith was concerned, "About your lady days" she deadpanned.

"You mean everyday?" rebutted Ava.

Mary said, "She means periods."

Ava was even more lost. "Shannon, help me" prayed Mary. Lilith awkwardly groaned "when you bleed from..down there"

Ava looked down at the table "I never got a talk, one day the nuns just said I was a women now because Eve sinned or something. they kept washing the sheets and saying how disgusting it was."

Beatrice gently put her hand on Ava's forearm, "I understand, my mother hadn't taught me about that before it happened. I'm sorry it happened like that."

Mary shook her head in disbelief, "so you've never learnt about std's or 'wrap it before you tap it'"? "no?" chorused Ava and Beatrice.

"A what?" continued Beatrice. Camila seemed to be praying now, her head bowed in frustration.

The halo bearer just shrugged, "hey, 80's movies just taught me to be funny about it, and piss off nuns, despite the fact I couldn't walk. No reason for the nuns to teach me shit."

Even Lilith felt bad. Mary looked at Beatrice "Her? I understand. How have you been alive this long and never got any sort of warning?"

Beatrice looked ashamed. "Mary, you know why. It was forbidden until I was old enough to know and by that time my mother didn't quite.... have the right knowledge for me. She thought the knowledge of any of that sin might tempt me. I'm a sister warrior now, though, it matters not."

Lilith scowled "It's not sin, it's knowledge of how you body works" She shared a look with Mary, and they fought it out with a stare.

You tell them. I'm a nun. No, I am not doing this. this is something Shannon would be able to handle. well, someone has to do something, I'm not their mother.

Mary broke her stare, and looked at both of them. She got up, "Let's go learn about the birds and bees." Ava, annoyed, sat up but Beatrice protested, "I don't- I. Mary, I am a sister warrior, I assure you I would never-"

Mary sighed, "Baby girl, you are gonna learn about basic biology, it's not an 'adult film'" she said, mocking a British accent on the last phrase. Mary all but dragged the two girl to Mother Superion's office.

...

The head of the OCS looked up, questioning Mary's predicament. She just shook her head and said "You two are gonna learn something new today. and trust me, you won't die."

She looked at Mother "You remember what talk you had to give me when I arrived? well, they might not be nine but they still need it." and she left. Ava internally swore, and Beatrice was red already. This was gonna suck.

...

Ava and Beatrice walked out, more shell-shocked than ever before. Ava looked towards her trauma bonded companion (not in the eye, not after what they've heard.) "Take this to the grave?"

The sister warrior looked dead ahead, pain in her eyes, and replied, "Gladly"

[welcometogrouchland]

I would argue that the bi flag on Hunter's jacket in Thanks to Them does confirm his bisexuality. Because what other reason would the Owl House crew have for putting it there?

See on the one hand I agree and want to treat it as confirmation, both bc I'm biased and bc the crew has done this before w/ the lil decorations on Eda's belongings in season 1, and even something like Masha's nail polish in the same episode as hunters lil bi rainbow. And bc you're right! All things considered, there's very little chance that Dana as executive producer didn't catch it and then approve it.

But in my mind I know that that might be all it was. Just a hc Dana agrees with, which doesn't feel fair to hold up as canon, no matter how much I love it, since ppl don't always have to take the author's personal opinions into account when forming an interpretation of the work.

I think the most likely scenario for how the bi rainbow got there is that the colour designer (who. I wanna say was Dresden Douglas? If I'm remembering her Twitter thread of props in TTT she coloured correctly. Correct me if I'm wrong) added that bi rainbow of their own volition, rather than it being a top down order, which is a bit different to me in terms of like. Canonicity.

it's just not as solid as I'd like it to be! Bc I know fandom gets contentious and I don't like the idea of people shutting others down bc of something circumstantial.

Again, I agree with you anon, with my limited knowledge of how toh's production works, I think it's very likely that the bi rainbow was left on hunters sweater bc the creator writes/views him as bi. I view it as confirmation. But I'm just shy of stating that as a fact simply bc it's so miniscule and inconcrete compared to things like Dana saying Amity's a lesbian in a Reddit AMA, or Lilith's letter from the livestream and then her VA saying on insta the next day that Lilith is ace.

Which isn't to say that I need Dana Terrace to put in writing "Hunter is bi" for me to incorporate it into my interpretation of the show. It's already a part of how I view the owl house as a piece of fiction. Hunter is bi to me and I think it adds to his character and the shows overall message goals (not that it has to, rep doesn't need to justify itself, but it is something I feel (not that rep needs to justify itself, that hunter being bi adds to him)). But if I was going to say "hunter is canonically bi" to an outside observer, I'd want more than what we have. I'm an academic and I like citing my sources! And until Dana answers my letters, I have no source </3

(/j about the letters thing, I can't read)

[itsheartbeat13]

Something I don’t think enough people recognize when it comes to making shows more diverse, there is so much going on behind the scene that you literally can’t “just add them.” 

Alex Hirsch had to wait until the end of Gravity Falls to show that Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland were in love so that way the show didn’t get prematurely cancelled. And even still, that was censored in other countries. 

________

The Owl House has a bisexual afro Latina protagonist that falls in love with a white lesbian. They kiss several times on screen and say “my awesome girlfriend.” It also has Disney’s first nonbinary character (Raine Whispers), their bisexual love interest (Eda Clawthorne), and an aro/ace woman (Lilith Clawthorne). However, because like five people said that TOH wasn’t the “Disney brand” the show is prematurely cancelled. So even with everything that TOH did, it only won battle but lost the war. 

________

The art crew for Encanto had to fight to make Luisa buff. And when they were finally able to make her buff, Disney didn’t make as much Luisa merchandise because they thought little girls would want Mirabel or Isabela’s since they’re more “feminine.” (I think the same thing happened with Namaari when RATLD came out but I’m not sure. So don’t quote me on that.)

*Also, Luisa out preformed. So that’s a win. 

________

Bubblegum and Marceline couldn’t kiss until the series finale of Adventure Time because it would’ve been cancelled. So throughout the entire series, the crew always just had to imply undertones about their past. Since HBO produced Obsidian, they were able to kiss on screen.

________

Korra and Asami’s relationship had to tempt down so that way Nick could continue airing the show and they weren’t allowed to kiss until the comics. 

________

Turning Red got so much unwarranted criticism because not only did Mei’s mom say “pads” but she showed them on screen. (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if that made you uncomfortable, that’s a sign that we need to do this more and not less.)

________

Some countries marked She Ra as 18+ because Catra and Adora kissed on screen. (Once again, I’m not sure if this completely true but Nate Stevenson had to fight to actually show them kissing on screen instead of a fade to white.)

________

Steven Universe is the gayest show I’ve ever seen in my life which was both good and bad. It was good for obvious reasons. Example being that it was the first show that introduced to me nonbinary people in a way that wasn’t “haha, look, she uses they/them pronouns. She’s so funny and quirky.” 

And it’s bad because it put a target on it’s back. SU has been censored so much that it’s honestly a miracle that we got an ending. And in most of the countries that censored SU, they usually portray Ruby as a man. So I can’t imagine how bad the censors were when the wedding happened and Ruby wore a dress and Sapphire wore a suit. 

________

Also, you have to remember the outdated idea that gay/trans topics are “too mature” for kids to handle (there’s an episode of Adam Ruins Everything that talks about this). So it’s easier for shows with an older audience (like Arcane) to have queer/trans rep.

Not to mention, if you ever go on Insider’s website to look at the queer/trans characters in cartoons [here], most of the characters are revealed to be queer only online and not in the actual show.

________

All of this BS because God forbid that kids find out that other people exist. 

Representation is important but please, just be aware of the actually struggles that go on that you don’t see and be thankful that this is where we are now because even though it might seem like it at times remember that this is actual progress. We need to keep pushing studios to do more. I’m sure that there’s millions of untold stories that would be made if not for this prejudice. 

[sj-ficrecs]

1,000+ followers fic rec!

Recently noticed at some point a little while ago I passed 1,000 followers on this page! In honor of that here’s another fic rec of some good ones I’ve been reading lately. As usual, no specific order. 

PREVIOUS FIC RECS HERE!

(Hopefully this shows up in tags bc my last one didn’t & tumblr wouldn’t fix it) 

Thanks to @whimsicalrogers for this divider I’m using below :)

Bucky x reader:

3B by @softlybarnes Bucky x reader

“Bucky is used to being alone, so is the girl living in apartment 3B. He keeps to his routine, to crossing off amends. But mutual loneliness forges an unlikely friendship. Alone and reclusive, sweet and incredibly strange, with deep secrets and regrets, 3B has more to reveal than meets the eye.”

(un)cool by @belowva rockstar!Bucky x reader

“in the summer of 1973, after covering the howling commandos’ concert for a night, you - a young and inexperienced music journalist - accidentally end up following the up and coming band from new york city across the country. between shows, parties, backstage nonsense, interviews and failed attempts at writing a cover story for rolling stone magazine, you end up developing a love/hate relationship with their brooding, but devilishly handsome, guitarist james “call me bucky” barnes. (based on “almost famous”)”

Your Song by @summergrls​  Rockstar!Bucky x reader

“it’s not summer without you. or, that’s what your favorite rockstar always says. it’s all happening.”

Last Love by @wicked-mind Modern!Bucky x reader

“Based on the quote “He may be your first love but I intend to be your last” by Klaus Mikaelson.”

Remember Me by @wicked-mind​ Modern!Bucky x reader

“Y/N and Bucky were the unlikely match when it came to love, but they were inseparable since they met. After a fight, Y/N left to be a trauma surgeon in the military and returns without her memories. How will Bucky remind Y/N how she is the fire in his bones?”

Cake by @tellmealovestory (Part of the Something More universe) Modern!Bucky x reader

“The wedding plans continue as you and Bucky try to decide on a cake flavor.”

My Eyes by @invisibleanonymousmonsters Bucky x reader, past Steve x reader

“Steve is a good man, America’s golden boy, a hero. He’s Captain America for christ’s sake! So it’s normal to want what he has… right? Bucky knows he doesn’t deserve her. He doesn’t even deserve the second chance at life he’s been given. But Bucky can never let him know. Steve can never find out that his friend is in love with his best girl.”

The Mess by @sanguineterrain​ Bucky x Avenger!reader

“A wild night in Vegas changes everything between you and Bucky. Suddenly, all eyes are on you and you’re left wondering just how much can change between you and a man whose guts you hate (and who also hates yours).”

The Devil Has Lilith by @write-orflight Bucky x reader, soulmate AU

“They say your soulmate is supposed to be the one person you love unconditionally. So why did they make yours so insufferable?”

College!Bucky series / Couldn’t Be Me by @drunken-imagines College!Bucky x reader

Bucky is a known fuck boy trying to win over reader

Best of Friends by @anna-phora Modern!Bucky x reader

“When your best friend steals marries Bucky’s best friend, the two of you are left with only one solution: to become best friends yourselves.”

Back to You by @celestialbarnes Modern!ex-Bucky x reader

“desperate to find a place to stay after your boyfriend cheated on you, you end up crashing at bucky’s apartment, the problem is he’s the ex that you never really got over and he’s got a new girl who doesn’t like you very much.”

It’s Been a Long, Long Time by @luminnara Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

“When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back…and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!“

Friends Don’t by @watchtowerindistress Bucky x reader

“Reader is in a friends-with-benefits relationship with Bucky Barnes. Rule #1: no feelings - so don’t get attached (written by Bucky). Rule #2: don’t ever stay over (written by (Y/N)). After a fateful mission, one of them is going to break all the rules.”

Just a Touch by @buckychrist Bucky x reader

“Your powers? Controlling any feeling a human can have, from emotions to pain, with a simple brush of your fingertips. Your mission? The traumatized soldier with sad stricken eyes and scream filled nightmares.”

Under Pastel Skies by @redgillan Modern!Bucky x Artist!reader

“Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.”

A Long Ways Away by @ai-unknown Bucky x reader

“Connection, reconnection, and a small miscommunication. Bucky will travel however far, if it means making you smile.”

No Rest for the Wicked by @abovethesmokestacks Trucker!Bucky x reader

Based upon this ask: “i have the absolute weirdest urge today to get railed by trucker!bucky in a motel in like southern florida🤨 and it’s late too, maybe 3-4 am. the place is kinda seedy & it’s rlly humid and hot outside & the ac barely works so we’d both be sweating a lot but it makes it hotter”

Meanwhile in Louisiana by @multifandomwriter Bucky x reader

“You are Sam’s best friend and you meet Bucky when Sam organizes a party down at the docks.”

A Tender Heart by @river-soul Alpha!Bucky x Omega!reader

“You’ve been sweet on Bucky since you started working at the compound six months ago. Normally quiet and mild mannered, an unexpected fight with a coworker brings Bucky into your orbit.”

Steve x reader:

Jane Doe by @justkending Modern!Steve x reader

“They weren’t next door neighbors, but they did live in the same apartment complex. However, they were on completely different sides of the complex. Steve always sees her across the way doing her daily routines and way about life on her balcony from his own. Something about her has him checking in on her from across the way when he can… She’s intriguing and has a way about her life that he finds calming and captivating. He wants to know more about who she is, but there’s no non-creepy way of approaching a neighbor that doesn’t know you exist. Is there?”

[opinated-user]

Apparently lily just admitted that she'll never make short haired character, which not only makes it feel like a fetish but also proves she's an awful writer because that means she bends a character to match her personal, bitch I want to fuck look. Like she admits she characterized Rey as a utilitarian person who cares little for their appearance and barely remembers to shower. Shockingly it makes way more sense that that kind of character would buzz their hair or at least keep it short so needed as little matanice as possible and wouldn't get in the way.

It just makes it feel like a) lily is to petty a person to dare make/ write about a character she doesn't find attractive and b) that Rey must only keep their hair long in universe because Alina likes it.

Plus a few posts ago she also admitted that all her characters are completely shaved/ waxed perfectly because I guess she finds body hair gross. Which does make me raise a brow because only young kids are hairless like that naturally. Plus that's a common thing sexist men find gross about women, so I guess she hasn't thrown off all the toxic masculinity she grew up learning yet.

long hair requires a lot of up keep in order to be healthy, so much more than short hair ever would. we're talking about the hair tangling to itself, knots, split ends, thin hair and more. if she really did said that rey barely remembers to shower herself (therefore she needs Alaina to remind her) and is most of the time covered in grease of all things, her hair even before meeting alaina would look a lot less like this:

and more like this

why would ever a "utilitarian character" even keep long hair if they don't care about appearences? it makes absolutely no sense. at this point saying "because alaina likes it" would be better because at least that would be consistent with the characterization she gave rey as having nothing else but live by alaina's command. it would be a complete bastardization of who rey was on the movie, but it woud be a logical explanation. by the way, i noticed that LO aknowledged me on that post. she said that i shouldn't have to compare irl Daisy Ridley with "her" rey because her character went through a very different direction... but that wasn't the point at all. my point was that rey could look amazing on short hair because there are different ways to stylize it and she could, but instead LO prefers her with long plain hair (without a braid, ponytail, anything) and completely shaved everywhere else, even if those two things completely contradict being apathic and "utilitarian." LO, if i still have your attention... pay MO better. i want to adress another point you raised, anon.

lily is to petty a person to dare make/ write about a character she doesn't find attractive

i think this is the source of a lot of LO's choice regarding her writing and how she views characers. we talked a bit ago about LO's refusal to accept ace characters (namely "Ellie", Lilith from toh and even g) as they are and put them both on sexual situations every chance she has, about how she only gets any investment on something if she manages to impose a sexual lenses over it. i feel like this most be more of the same. short hair or body hair aren't attractive for LO and so rey can't have either or else LO would lose all investment into writing her, just like she lose it completely for both Finn and Poe, who she doesn't find attractive. all of this by itself it's fine. she shouldn't have to write anyting she doesn't want to write if she doesn't want to. nobody said that she should have to be forced into it either. the problem we do have is that LO constantly lies about this and rather that make a matter of preferences, she wants to turn it around and go about how it's actually misogynistic to let a female character to cut her hair. the issue overall is rather small, you could even say insignificant all things considered, but LO is so desperate to make it into something bigger and nobody is buying it.

[the-roanoke-society]

boys and girls of every age...

wouldn’t you like to see something strange?

happy halloween, my flowers!

this year hasn’t been the best--and the list of reasons why is as varied, as wide and as deep as all of creation.

it has, essentially, sucked on a truly cosmic level.

but!

it doesn’t help anyone to look at the big picture and only focus on the dark parts. because for all the truly horrible, disastrous events we’ve had to slog through together (first time crying every day for months, first time being taken by ambulance to the er--truly a year of firsts, at least for me, personally), there have still been good things.

for example, did you know that this year we celebrated the 6th anniversary of the release of kingsman: the secret service? and the 3rd anniversary of the release of kingsman: the golden circle--which means next month it’ll be the third birthday of the ronaoke society!

our house might’ve gotten quiet--but it still stands.

i love all of you very, very much, and halloween is still my favorite holiday of all time. so all this month, i worked on the aus you’ll find below the cut. i’ll have to post this in parts over the next while, as there’s thirty-one total--one for each day of the season, of course.

honestly--it felt fantastic to dig back into my horror roots. roanoke’s entire conception was inspired by the fact that for as much as i love the kingsman universe, i also love things that go bump in the night.

and i don’t like having to choose between one thing or another.

be forewarned: if you choose to look into the source material for these aus, be prepared for possible graphic violence, gore, disturbing themes, explicit sexuality and jumpscares. i sort of walked through the proverbial garden and just grabbed fruit where i could find it--you’ll see what i mean. and as always, the endings are in your hands. these ideas are gifts, to do with as you please.

so journey below the cut... i̷̛̝͎͎̝̣̹͊̓̂͛̃̋͟f̛̯̟̱̖͔̌͊͐̏̃̓̇̎͠ y͈͇̙̘̬̓͌̑̈́͛̿͌͠ở̴̢͉͉̳͙̞͈̻̀́̎̄́̈͢͡ȗ̵̬̳͙̫̥̜͍̲̔̐̽̃̀͒̑͜ ḑ̙̩̼̤͓̫̟̥̈͑̐̚͡a̧̢̦̟̙̤̠͐͌̾̆̑͌͡͞r̷̡̰̲̣͓̣̝͒́̿͊̉̀͒͠͝͠ͅe̫̯̣̰͍̤̬̭̺̒̿͊̾͊.

blackbird on the old church steeple - a butterfly knife au inspired by the silence of the lambs

rae clementine doesn’t frighten easily. in her line of work, fear is not a friend. so when she’s abruptly pulled out of her fbi training at quantico to interview none other than the notorious harry hart, known for his--let’s say unusual appetites--she’s less intimidated and more annoyed.

but women are being taken, and found without their skin, if they are even found at all.

if hart’s insight into the mind of a psychopath can help her find the infamous buffalo bill, who has repeatedly evaded arrest--then she is more than willing to sit across from the gentleman in a pristine cell, and be continuously surprised that for a murderer, his gaze is surprisingly gentle.

in the back of her mind, she remembered all the things her mother had ever told her about lucifer--how the king of hell himself was utterly wicked, but catastrophically beautiful.

charm could hide blood. polished etiquette could hide bodies.

“most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from the victims.”

“i didn’t.”

“no. you ate yours.”

she’d felt this kind of intrigue before, and given the face it wore this time... well.

focus on the case, she thought. find buffalo bill. watch yourself. get out alive.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: ajr, ‘bang!’ + tame impala, ‘the less i know the better’ + barney bigard, ‘readdy eddy’

dogs & deadbolts guard the night - an au featuring @roanoke-after-dark​‘s the gremlin and @agentjotunn​ inspired by resident evil, particularly the released imagery for resident evil: village

santi’s first thought was that the rumors were just blatantly untrue. an entire village of people? suddenly vanished? he doubted it. besides, winters this far north were brutal--and could be fatal, if you weren’t careful. they had probably just all tucked in for the season, he reasoned. the snow and ice would’ve made travel impossible, anyway.

weeks passed. the stories faded from his thoughts as he minded his garage, and people spoke less and less about it.

until one evening, when an old friend knocked on his door with blood on his jacket and no color in his face.

“bradley? jesus, what hap--”

“grab your gun. something’s happened, and we need to leave now.”

“but what--”

“i’ll explain on the way, just go!“

right before he slammed the passenger side door of bradley’s jeep closed--wheels appropriately chained to keep a grip on the iced over roads--he heard a deep, long howl from some distance away.

there hadn’t been wolves this close in fifty years.

santi broke the silence in the car gently: “... you look like you’ve seen the face of the devil. what exactly happened?”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: ac/dc, ‘highway to hell’ + think up anger ft. malia j, ‘smells like teen spirit’ + marilyn manson, ‘sweet dreams’

the light under the door - a body shots au inspired by dark skies

the blacks weren’t superstitious. jason wasn’t, just like his father wasn’t before him, and now that he’s finally settled down happily married to joanne--finally, he thought, finally married to his jo--he is more than ready to see what the next chapters will bring. they moved into a house not too far from his parents, so he could still see his siblings regularly.

and he did.

which means he and jo both noticed when his younger brother christopher began to act a little--off.

they noticed when the bruises appeared.

they noticed when he kept copying the same strange symbols onto papers in crayon over and over and over and over--

and jo definitely noticed when she walked into their own kitchen in the middle of the night to find every single cabinet door open, with all the contents arranged into an impossibly perfect pyramid on the center island.

“i--are we being haunted?” she wondered out loud, the next morning. “this--and weird things are happening at your parents’, too, jason, something isn’t right here. i know you don’t believe in ghosts or anything, but...”

and this wasn’t a haunting.

it was something much worse.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: kennyhoopla, ‘how will i rest in peace if i’m buried by a highway?’ + cannons, ‘fire for you’ + days, ‘the drums’

permission access eternal - an au featuring @siggy-the-meme-master​ and technical officer wyvern, inspired by a.m.i.

it was supposed to be the world’s most cutting edge ai software. and since jeremy and dodger were both at the top of their class at m.i.t., of course, nobody was surprised when both their names were on the finished product--even if there was just one prototype to start.

and it wasn’t an ‘it.’ it was a she. jeremy insisted. repeatedly. “let’s call her ami!” he’d been flush with booze but his eyes were so bright and his expression so sincere, dodger just let him have it. and jeremy clapped his shoulder, “we did it, man! we have built the jessica rabbit of ai programs!”

they had one last test run to prove they’d metaphorically kicked the ass of everyone else in their field before they began the work to begin mass production. so, dodger set ami up as a sort of overhead assistant for their shared lab. she controlled temperature, lights, she could make phone calls, keeps schedules and most importantly of all, place takeout orders. the more she proved she could do, the more power, and control, she was given.

two weeks passed. they gave ami a voice, gave her a large proverbial eye to see through, making tweaks as they went to polish her off.

dodger was so proud of his work his heart could’ve exploded.

so imagine how he felt when he realized he’d left his cell phone in his car--and realized he couldn’t open the door.

“ami? ... ami. can you unlock the front door please?” he stared up at the red lens, and a silent point of light stared back at him.

“... i’m sorry. i cannot do that. dodger.”

“... uh, jeremy?”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: cage the elephant, ‘social cues’ + sneaker pimps, ‘6 underground’ + saint motel, ‘preach’

in hell i’ll be in good company - a lies & lessons au inspired by underworld

for centuries, a war has raged between vampires and lycans, completely outside the notice of the general human population. lauren is a death dealer, a lethal and beautiful member of an elite squad of vampiric assassins who have been charged with finding all the remaining lycans in the city and taking them out one by one.

when she realizes the lycan pack seems to be looking for an ordinary man--a medical student named jack daniels--she tracks him down herself, narrowly escpaing lucian in the process. (as soon as they were in the car he was already screaming, “what the fuck is goin’ on?!” with a southern twang she hadn’t expected) she takes him under her wing, still baffled at why the lycan pack could possibly want him.

he’s only human, after all.

... right?

as it turns out, vampires and lycans have a single common ancestor.

jack is a direct descendant.

and after being bitten in an attack--becomes a hybrid, carrying the powers of both species.

between unraveling the truth surrounding the death of her family, what really happened between lucian and kraven, and her growing feelings for jack--who is rapidly trying to understand his role in the story that’s been unfolding without his knowledge for generations--lauren finds herself at a crossroads, and her loyalties tested to a breaking point.

but as long as jack is at her side--perhaps it doesn’t matter where the road goes from here.

as bullet-riddled and blood-soaked as it will turn out to be.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: wallows, ‘are you bored yet?’ + cage the elephant, ‘shake me down’ + puscifer, ‘rev 22-20′

ash, fog & rust - alternatively titled ‘@gaygent​, @agent-judas​ and agent seraphim finally take that road trip to pennsylvania’

it was time to hand over the torch. that’s what lilith had finally decided. between the white patches in her hair, the strain it was putting on her relationships (especially with hamish)--morgan only had to return to the hills one more time as envoy.

and she wasn’t going alone.

“after this, anything that comes through this area, anything that hits our radars, is going to end up on both your desks,” she began, glancing at z in the passenger seat, and meeting cillian’s eyes once in the rearview mirror.

“so this is--what, a test run?” z asked, head slightly tilted. morgan hummed.

“this place--this town--it--” she huffed, frustrated. cillian could hear the leather wrapped around the steering wheel creak as her grip tightened. “it’s hard to explain, to someone who hasn’t been there. and i’m glad that neither of you have had to go before this, but...” another sigh. “i couldn’t think of any other duo that i could entrust this to. not something this big. you--” she pointedly lifted her brows at z, “--have experience with creatures that aren’t from around here. and you--” this time her gaze went to cillian. “--do too. just in a different shape. it’ll take both of you to handle centralia. and i couldn’t introduce you without coming along.”

“how long, exactly, has roanoke been keeping tabs on this place?” cillian asked. he’d spent hours going over everything he could find--mission logs, reports, feeds and images housed in the media room. morgan looked at him again. her eyes were still kind--but very, very tired.

“... a long time.”

i’ll admit that this is less an au and more a canonical event that i just haven’t gotten around to writing more about. but i couldn’t make this list without at least one entry paying homage to a franchise that’s had a huge influence on not just me as a writer, but on roanoke’s canon as a whole.

for the sampler, i will simply redirect you to this post here.

the devil’s gonna set me free - an anchored hearts au inspired by horns

joseph moretti had been in love with louise franz since fifth grade.

granted, he didn’t realize it until he almost drowned because of that stupid dare--a dare that not only almost killed him, but took two of lee’s fingers when that goddamn cherry bomb went off in his hand.

the same cherry bomb he’d traded to him for fixing louise’s broken necklace--a small silver pendant, shaped like an apple. she’d worn it every single day since he could remember. the image of her and snow white were eternally tangled in his head.

that necklace--it’d been the start. he’d woken up because of an apple. louise, did, too.

the hours they spent in that treehouse, listening to david bowie and memorizing every scar and curve of the other--he wished that could have been his eternity. just him. and her. ... well, and bowie. every good love story needed a soundtrack.

but... but...

his head pounded as he lifted it off the counter in his parents’ kitchen. his mouth was dry, and he blinked, causing a half-empty bottle of vodka to come into focus.

louise is gone now, he thought.

and they thought he was the one who did it. he, the one who loved her more than anyone else on the planet.

he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

he was going to prove his innocence even if it killed him. no matter what happened.

even if he sprout horns.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: machine gun kelly, ‘bloody valentine’ + the black keys, ‘go’ + david bowie, ‘heroes’

moonlight rising from the grave - alternatively titled ‘that time @agent-nightcrawler​ and agent iuniore found a haunted mansion,’ inspired by disney’s haunted mansion

“hello? ... hellooooo?” the massive door let out a huge groan as sylva pushed, putting one hand on tina’s shoulder as it swung open. “uhm--i’m really sorry to bother you, but we hit a deer and we just...” sylva sighed, her voice lowering in volume. “... need to use the phone...”

“this place is gigantic,” tina whispered, close at sylva’s side as they stepped out of the pouring rain into a very quiet, very elegant foyer. “and look! there’s lights, and all these lit candles... someone has to be here,” she continued as the door came to a gentle close behind them, muffling another roll of thunder.

“good evening.”

both of them yelped, sylva immediately yanking tina closer to her and whirled around in time to see--a butler? he was dressed like a butler.

and his clothes were... he was...

“sylva! why is the butler see-through!” tina whispered harshly, all while the spectral gentleman just looked at them expectantly. sylva clamped a hand over her mouth.

“hi!” she answered brightly.

this is a ghost. i’m talking to a ghost. this is fine. everything is fine.

“uh,” she coughed, beginning again, “we’re just having a little bit of a car emergency, is there a way we can call our head office? so they can come get us?” this is what i get for being out where i have no bars, and neither of us have our specs...

the ghostly butler nodded. his hair, glowing faintly, waved around his head as though he was underwater. “of course. please--follow me. the master of the manor will want to meet you.”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: the chordettes, ‘mr. sandman’ + bobby pickett, ‘monster mash’ + bastille, ‘survivin’’

mercy no more - a magic & mischief au inspired by the evil within

aly had been kieran’s partner at the krimson city police department for years. she’d walked with him through the death of his daughter, the disappearance of his wife.

neither of them acknowledged the spark. they didn’t then, and--as she met his eyes once in the rearview mirror, trying to pay attention to connelly and joseph as they talked about beacon--they wouldn’t acknowledge it now.

as soon as the hospital came into a view, a high-pitched ringing overame every other sound in the cruiser, every other sound period. aly slammed her hands over her ears, but it didn’t seem to help.

as soon as it started--it stopped. connelly had to swerve to avoid getting into the wrong lane.

“what--what was that?” aly asked, her palms still hovering by her ears.

“it was probably just a problem with the radio,” joseph suggested, pushing his glasses up as they drove pass the established police barriers.

the last dispatch team, they said, hadn’t come back. it was up to the three of them to find out what happened to their colleagues.

aly was close by kieran’s side as they walked through the rain. her gut twisted at the sight of the entry doors.

the smell of the blood and the slaughter hit her nose before she saw the bodies.

“what on earth happened here?”

“i don’t know. stay close. let’s find the surveillance room. if we can find the security cams, we’ll find out answer...”

if only that had been the end.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: all time low, ‘monsters’ + bastille, ‘what you gonna do???’ + gary numan, ‘long way down’

and the wind will be my hands - an au featuring @agent-sentinel-official​, @agent-chimera​ and @gaygent​, inspired by session 9, with a special appearance by @agent-thorn​

walter vaughn was an expert in abestoes abatement. so when he put in a bid to take on the entire danvers state mental hospital, the owners of the rotting estate welcomed him on board.

and as they did, he brought on two crewmates--xander, and z--to help him.

“we’ve got three weeks, so, no need to rush,” he explained on the first day, the sun beating down on his broad shoulders and half his hazmat tied around his waist. xander and z trailed behind him as they approached the massive building. “and i know, i know it’s still a big undertaking--but the money will be worth it. trust me.”

“you fellas our cleanup crew?” a tall, thin man in a suit with dark hair and a pair of ray ban sunglasses walked towards them, smiling broadly. he extended a hand, “carter jensen. the ah, danvers’ estate board sent me on their behalf to give you a tour of the building, let you get a good assessment of what you’re dealing with. i’m not entirely sure what they’ll do with the property when this is done, but we know for sure nothing can happen until this part’s complete. come on, the entrance is just this way... i’ll make sure to give you a master key ring.”

xander leaned down by z’s shoulder, muttering, “dude this place gives me the creeps... but maybe there’s still some cool old stuff left in there. like maybe, possibly, the trapped souls of the damned. you think it’s haunted?”

z answered, murmuring, “if not by ghosts--then maybe by something else.”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: the talking heads, ‘psycho killer’ +  lou barlow, ‘choke chain’ + sublime, ‘doin’ time’

[lynelovespopculture]

The Chilling Adventures of Zelda Chapter 5-ROAD TO RECOVERY PLEASE REMEMBER TO COMMENT!

CHAPTER 5-THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

WARNING: Talk of suicide

 Zelda couldn’t sleep. She sighed as she turned to look at the clock, 2:45 AM. Zelda looked upper still to Hilda 3 feet away, lightly snoring. Zelda removed her blankets and put her feet into her slippers. She exited the bedroom before conjuring a little ball of light to accompany her down the dark hallway. It had been 2 and a half weeks since Zelda’s husband had been separated from his insanity curse and things were not going all that well. The plan had been to free Faustus and then kill the curse and they had tried their best. Zelda had been literally in hell as Prudence tried to stab it and Hilda came from behind with a heavy rock. However, the stab wound made no difference and the rock that broke in 2. It fell to Zelda to tell her family that the curse bore the mark of Cain, which made it immortal. Somehow, the curse got away. So, Blackwood, (to help avoid confusion, the family decided to call the curse Blackwood and the real man Faustus,) was on the run again but not for long. A week later, when all the coven was in the church to hear mass, a bloody Dorcas stormed in to tearfully inform the others that Blackwood stormed the nearly empty academy. Dorcas tried hard but Blackwood did manage to reclaim the twins before disappearing again. Poor Dorcas blamed herself, but Zelda tried her best to comfort the distraught girl. Secretly, Zelda herself wanted to cry. How could they lose the twins yet again, after a mere 8 days! Late at night on all 7 nights, Zelda would take care not to be caught as she sneaked into where the twins slept. She would tuck them in if needed, kiss them and just stay with them for a while. Wondering how Judas and Letitia, she knew the girl twin was calling herself Judith, but she would always be Letitia to Zelda, could possibly be teenagers, when their 1st birthday was still weeks away.  Agatha, who was already pretty hostile, grew even more violent and wild when she learned that Blackwood came to get the twins but not her. Knowing that Agatha was a danger not only to herself but to the other students and teachers, Zelda made the decision to put Agatha in the dungeon, for now.

“I’m really sorry girls,” Zelda told the other weird sisters about her decision. “I wish there was another way, but I need to put the safety of the coven first, plus if Blackwood comes back for her, it won’t be so easy.”

“We  understand, Sister Zelda.”  Prudence soothed.

Dorcas nodded. “Agatha’s in good hands. We trust you, Mistress  Spellman.”

Zelda smiled, she needed to hear that right now.

Zelda briefly considered getting in touch with their mysterious new ally, Gloria Rose but the idea was quickly dismissed for 2 reasons. First, Zelda had no idea where Gloria lived or how to get in touch with her and had a funny feeling that Gloria wouldn’t pop up again it was time for Lilith’s next appointment. Also, was the fact that Gloria had betrayed Blackwood by giving him to the Spellmans so it was unlikely Blackwood would go back to her.

 The cold hallway gave Zelda a chill, sending her back to the present. Zelda went to the end of the hall and opened the linen closet, grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself.  In addition to worrying about Blackwood, the twins, and Agatha, Zelda was extremely concerned about Faustus, only in a completely different way. Agatha’s behavior was violent and dangerous. Faustus was a danger to no one but himself. Zelda was with her husband when he asked the dark lord to put him under house arrest and stripped him of all his magical powers. Boy, Faustus was not kidding. He asked for house arrest but it was more like room arrest. Shortly after returning from hell, Faustus went down to the morgue and stayed there for 2 and a half weeks. The morgue was the lowest, coldest room in the Spellman house. Zelda suspected if Faustus could go lower, he would. He also absolutely wouldn’t hear of going near the church or school.

“I am no longer a high priest,” he said when Sabrina addressed as Father  Blackwood, “nor should I be. I betrayed a sacred trust when I poisoned the entire coven.” His head turned as his eyes grew misty.

 Faustus also insisted on being punished.  He even asked Ambrose to chain him up. Zelda quickly overruled that request. There was no self-torture Faustus wouldn’t inflict on himself. One day, he found a rope that he used as a  whip. By the time someone found him, his back was red, bruised and bleeding. He wouldn’t allow anyone to heal him but a sneaky Zelda did it while he was asleep. Zelda feared she wouldn’t be attracted to a powerless Faustus but she was wrong. I love him, she thought. I truly love him, more and more each day. People made sure that trays of Hilda’s famous cooking was brought down to him at least 3 times a day,  but Faustus barely touched any of it. Zelda spent hours and hours with him, begging him to eat, if only for her. It kind of reminded Zelda when she and  Hilda would do a good cop/bad cop routine when a 4-year-old Sabrina refused to eat her peas. On the days that were really bad, Zelda would take her own dinner to the morgue and refused to eat until Faustus did. Of course, her pregnancy and the fact that the baby needed to be fed, was her ace in the hole and soon found Faustus cleaning his plate.

 Zelda dismissed the ball of light as she went down the spiral steps to the morgue. There was a  full moon tonight and its light filled the room. Zelda sighed as she saw Faustus was, yet again, not sleeping in the cot that had been prepared for him but instead, sitting against the wall, wearing only his pants, trying to keep himself from nodding off. Why? Because sleep deprivation was a form of torture too.

“It’s like he’s broken, Aunt Hilda.” Zelda overheard Ambrose said one morning. Zelda said nothing as she entered the room but she knew whatever was ‘broken’ in Faustus, could be fixed.

“What are you doing here?” Faustus asked when he finally noticed Zelda standing on the last stair. “It’s late. You should be asleep.”

“So should you.” She returned firmly.

He shook his head. “I don’t matter, you do.”

“Yes, you do.” You matter to me. Zelda thought silently to herself. Zelda wanted to tell Faustus she loved him a thousand times since he been back but it never seemed to be the right moment. Sighing, she went over to him. “Oh, Faustus! Your hands are like ice! Here.” Zelda took off the blanket that was wrapped around her and gave it to him before going to the cot to pick up the rest of the blankets.

“No, I  don’t want it. I deserve to be cold!” Faustus whined like a child while pushing away the blankets. However, the blankets were tucked tightly around him once Zelda spelled it.

Then she sat down and snuggled next to him. “You know, Faustus,” Zelda said  before they both fell asleep, “you can’t go on like this much longer.”

  Zelda was right, of course, and Faustus knew it. It was Wednesday morning when it was when Faustus sneaked into the kitchen before anyone had come down. It was a lot harder to switch 2 bottles without powers.

“Well, Father Blackwood! It’s good  to  see you above ground level.” Faustus turned sharply around, keeping the bottle behind his back as he saw Hilda smiling at him. “Are you feeling better this morning?”

“A little.” He lied. “And call me Faustus.”

“Well, good! Fancy a bit of breakfast? The others should be right down.”

“No, thank you, Hilda. I’m not hungry.” That was true. It took a few more lines of small talk before Faustus was able to leave the kitchen without letting Hilda see the bottle he switched.  Out in the hallway, Faustus recognized a book on a bench that as headmistress,  Zelda would use. He picked it up and tucked it under his arm. Turning, Faustus almost ran into Sabrina.

“Oh, Miss Spellman, um, Sabrina, I’m glad I bumped into you. I just wanted to say that I am very ashamed of my behavior towards you when we first meet. I know now that I was just taking my anger toward your father out  on you and  that’s not fair to you.”

Sabrina was stunned. “T-Thank you, Fath, Mr. Blackwood. Perhaps we can start fresh going forward.”

Faustus smiled at the girl. He was back downstairs when he heard footsteps on the steps and Ambrose then came into view with a cardboard box.

 “I got you what you asked for from the academy.”

“Thank you, Ambrose. You’re a fine young man. My daughter could do a lot worse.”

Ambrose turned bright red.  “We aren’t back together or anything, not yet, I mean, not officially.”

“Nevertheless, I approve. Whatever you and Prudence decide to do.”

“Someone say my name? My ears are burning.” Prudence smiled as she entered.

“Hey, Prudence! What are you doing here?” Asked a friendly Ambrose.

“I just thought I would come round,  check on things here. Good morning, Father.”

Faustus returned his daughter’s smile. “Good morning, Prudence.”

“Do you want some company back to school?” Prudence asked Ambrose.

“Sure.”

They both turned to go until Faustus called his daughter back. Prudence turned and Faustus went up to his daughter, caressed her cheek before kissing her and giving her a big hug.

Prudence smiled. “What was that for?”

Faustus smiled back. “I just wanted to kiss and hug you just for no special reason, just once.”

Prudence’s smile grew bigger and she hugged him back. “Thank you,  Father.” She whispered in his ear.

She and Ambrose left then, passing Zelda on the stairs.

“Hello, Sister Zelda.”

“Morning, Aunt Z.”

Zelda came downstairs in a rush. “I can’t believe I’m going to be late again.” Zelda seemed to be  searching for something.”

“Lost something?” Faustus asked.

“Yes,” Zelda answered. “I   need a certain book for my 1st  class and I can’t  find it anywhere.”

Faustus held up the book he took from the hall. “Is it this one?”

Zelda looked up and immediately lit up. “Yes!” She took it from him and turned to leave.

My beautiful Zelda, Faustus thought. But I need 1 more look, just  1 more.

“Zelda?”

“Yes?”   She turned to him again and he drunk her in before he shrugged. “I forgot my thought.”

  It was half an hour before Faustus knew he was alone in the house.  It was only then that Faustus opened the cardboard box that Ambrose brought him to check if it had all the contents in it. Yep, it was all there. Every stomach-churning item. With 1 look, Faustus could tell that the old-fashioned potbelly stove was not going to be big enough to burn all this stuff. So, Faustus went upstairs to find something bigger. The fireplace in the living room seemed big enough but Faustus simply couldn’t do it.  It was on this exact spot, almost a year ago, that he kissed Zelda. It was by far, the very best kiss of his entire existence and that was the night that Faustus and Zelda started the affair that led to their marriage, 6 months later. Faustus continued his search combing all the upstairs but didn’t find anything that he needed.  Faustus was on the stairs when a stranger came through the door.

“Zelda?”  The stranger called.  “Prudence?”

“There’s no one here but me,”  Faustus said. “I think they’re at the academy.”

The strange woman looked up at him. “Who are you?”

I could ask the same thing of you. Faustus thought but he actually said “I’m an old friend of the Spellmans. I’m staying here for a few  days.”

“Oh, okay, nice to meet you. I’m Mambo Marie and I was just looking for Zelda. She’s been late a lot lately. I think she’s been avoiding me since we broke up.”

Faustus couldn’t stop himself. “Broke up?! You mean, the 2 of you used to be together?” You have no right to feel jealous. Faustus silently scolded himself. You have no right to feel anything but guilt and shame.

“Yes, we went out for a couple of months last spring,” Marie answered and sighed. “I still miss her sometimes. Zelda Spellman is proving a hard woman to get over.”

Try impossible, Faustus thought. Outloud, he said, “Would you like to get back together with  Zelda?”

Marie half-smiled and shook her head. “Not going to happen, even if I wanted it to. Our last conversation made that perfectly clear.”

“Oh, it couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Oh no?”  Marie challenged. “The last time Zelda and I were alone together, I tried to get her to take…an abortion potion.” She looked down at her feet.

“You tried to get Zelda to kill ou, her baby?”

“I do regret it,” Marie said quickly. “I got hurt that Zelda didn’t tell me herself and I got mad when she told me that the father was that bastard who wants to kill the whole coven.”

Faustus closed his eyes at the word ‘bastard’ but he forced himself to go on. “Have you told Zelda that you’re sorry?”

Marie shrugged. “No, I mean, what would be the point? Zelda would never forgive me.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Zelda can be very forgiving, perhaps too forgiving.”

“What?” asked Marie.

“Nothing,” Faustus dismissed. “You know if you act now you  could surprise Zelda with a romantic lunch.”

“You think that will work?”

“Can’t hurt.”

“Well, okay. I’ll try.” Marie smiled.

“Try giving her purple Primroses. They’s are Zelda’s favorites.”

“Thank you.”

“Bye,” Faustus waved until Marie closed the door. “Please take good care of all I love.”

 Half an hour later, Zelda walked into her office, studying some papers and looked up to see a set table and Mambo Marie was smiling and holding flowers. “Hello, ma Cherie.”

“Hi, what are you doing?”

“I know it’s been a while,” Marie started. “But I thought we could have lunch together so I could apologize for my behavior from last time.”

Zelda smiled. “I appreciate that.” Zelda closed the folder, tossed it on her desk and sat down on the chair Marie had pulled out for her. Then Marie sat down herself.

“I am sorry Zelda.” Said Marie. “I had no right to tell  you what to do with your  baby, it is your  body, after all.”

“Yes, Marie, it is,” Zelda said firmly.

“But that’s  not all.”  Marie put her hand on top of Zelda’s and smiled. “Ma Cherie, I think we should give us  another chance.” When Zelda said nothing, Marie said jokingly. “What? There’s not somebody else, is there?” Zelda looked at her guiltily.

“Unbelieve!” Marie snapped.

Before a fight could break out, Hilda ran into the office. “Zelda! Zelda!”

Zelda stood up. “Hilda, what is it? What’s wrong?”

“I was just in my herbalism class, showing how nightshade is poison in liquid form but when I opened the bottle, it was only dirt. Then I remember that I saw Father Blackwood in  the kitchen, near my purse and since this is the 1st  day he’s alone in  the house-“

���Faustus is going to kill himself.” Zelda finished for her sister.

Marie was utterly confused. “Wait, isn’t a good thing if Blackwood dies?”

“Blackwood and Faustus are not the same people anymore.”

“What?!”

“Hilda, you explain it to her. I got to go save Faustus.”

But Marie wouldn’t be put off. “Damn it, Zelda Spellman, if you walk out on me now, we are over! I mean it. I’m going back to New Orleans and I won’t be coming back!”

Zelda wasn’t one easily threaten but more than that, Marie didn’t seem to care about a potential suicide. “Have a safe trip,” Zelda said before teleporting home.

  Meanwhile, back in the morgue of the Spellman house, Faustus sat in a corner on the floor.  He held a picture of Zelda that he swiped from the mantle. “Goodbye, my love.” Faustus lifted the bottle to his lips but before he could drink anything, the bottle flew out of his palm and smashed against the opposite wall.

“What the heaven are you doing, Faustus?!” Zelda demanded, coming more into the room and gently shoved him. “You cannot leave me! You cannot leave me! You cannot leave me!” Zelda turned, covering her eyes to catch the fresh tears.  “What are you thinking of?”

“I was thinking of how you and everyone else would be better off without me.”

Zelda shook her head and crossed her arms. “That is so not true! You are needed, Faustus.”

“By  who?”

“By your children, by me!” Zelda returned. Faustus shook his head so Zelda went forward and held Faustus’s head so he had no choice but to look at her. “You are loved,” Faustus shook his head. “Yes, you are!” Zelda insisted. “Prudence love you, the twins love you, our new baby will love you and I love you.”

Faustus’s eyes widened. “In all our years, the centuries  we’ve known each other, that’s the 1 thing you’re never said to me, never.”

 “Well, I do, truly I do. I’m only sorry it took me so long to realize it.”

“What  about your girlfriend, Mambo Marie?”

“How do you  know about her?” Zelda asked. “Was she here? What am I even talking about? Of course, she was! She would never know to bring me purple primroses all by herself.  I won’t lie to you, Faustus. I did have a crush on Marie when we first met but crushes fade and in reality, we don’t know each other and lately, all we do is fight. Even now, when Hilda told me what you had  planned, she wanted me to stay and finish lunch with her but all I could think of was you and how I couldn’t bear to lose you, again.” Faustus stayed silent and Zelda got an awful,  horrible idea. “Have I gotten this all wrong? I know it’s only been a few months for us but it’s been 15 years for you. Do you no longer love me, Faustus?”

Faustus put an arm around her waist and for a second it looked like he was going to kiss her but forced himself to stop. “I love you so much, Zelda. Other than my children, I’ve never loved anyone else,  not for a second. Yet the fact remains that I don’t deserve you.”

“Deserve me or not, you have me!” Zelda said before she kissed him. Faustus tried to resist   but Zelda held him close and soon their bodies melted into each other. It wasn’t long before Faustus’s fingers found the zipper on the side of Zelda’s skirt. She stepped out of it and rolled her hosiery and panties down as far as they would go without breaking the kiss. Faustus, meanwhile, unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall off him before he scooped her up and gently laid her on the exam table. Carefully, he lowered himself over her. He began to kiss her, slowly. Beginning with the very top of her head and worked his way down to her forehead,  one cheek then the other and on to those sweet, sweet lips. As Faustus moved to kiss her neck, his fingers went to work, unbuttoning her blouse. Zelda’s view was blurry as he caressed her neck but when he skillfully took off her bra and embraced her breasts, Zelda saw nothing at all. Her sight returned when she realized that his kisses had stopped completely. Zelda looked up to see Faustus staring down at her swollen belly. Oh no, Zelda thought, the insecurity creeping in. Faustus wasn’t attracted to a heavyset woman. It was just a fact Zelda knew. Personally, Zelda never had to worry about it, until now. Does he find me disgusting, is that why he stopped.

Yet Faustus’s eyes were filled with wonder as he touched the mount of flesh that housed their child. “That’s our baby in there.” He kissed all around her stomach. “How far along are you?”

“I’m currently 9 and a half months pregnant.”

“It’s odd, isn’t it?” Faustus asked while he continued kissing. “It’s been 15 years for me but only a  few months for you, dearest. Hey! What is this?!”

“Oh, that’s just the wound from the gunshot.”

“What?! Who shot you?” Faustus demanded, instantly protective of his wife.

“It doesn’t matter.”  When  Zelda finally reached for his belt, Faustus grew nervous again.

“Zelda? Maybe we shouldn’t do  this.”

“Shh,” Zelda hushed. “You’re safe here. You’re safe with me, I promise.”

“Yes, but are you safe with me?” Faustus questioned.

Zelda only responded by kissing him and gently got on top of him. Now, it was Zelda’s turn to seduce. She kissed his chest, his hips and once she finally removed his pants, she went even lower. Faustus shivered with pleasure. When he couldn’t take it anymore so he rolled himself on top again and entered  Zelda. The couple was used to rough sex, but this wasn’t that. This was lovemaking, comforting and soothing lovemaking. The kind outlawed by the dark lord, but they didn’t follow him anymore. Zelda fell asleep in Faustus’s arms.

 When Zelda awoke, someone had covered her with a blanket, so she felt warm and safe. Without opening her eyes, Zelda reached out for Faustus but her hand couldn’t find him. Opening her eyes, Zelda discovered that he wasn’t beside her at all. With growing worry, Zelda prompted herself up on her elbow and scanned the room for her husband and found nothing.

“Faustus? Faustus!” Zelda cried out. Why did I fall asleep? She thought, panicking. Why did I leave him alone?

“I’m right here.” Came the calm reply. Zelda looked around and finally found him sitting on the floor, his back resting against the exam table. With a sigh of relief, Zelda wrapped the blanket around herself so she was at least semi-decent should anyone decide to come in before she climbed down to him.

“It seems that I’m always finding you on the floor.  We do have chairs, you know.” Zelda snuggled beside him but he made no move to embrace her nor did he push her away.

Finally, Faustus spoke. “We shouldn’t have done that.”        

“It’s okay,” Zelda soothed. “We don’t follow the dark lord anymore. Lovemaking should be fine.”

“I don’t give a flying fig about the dark lord!” Faustus cried, getting to his feet. “We shouldn’t have sex at all. Why can I never resist you, Zelda? Now it’s going to be next to impossible to go back.”

Zelda was confused. “I don’t understand, Faustus. Go back wh- OH!” Zelda instantly forgot what she was saying as her hand flew to her mid-section.

Faustus, too, briefly forgot whatever was troubling him as he went to his knees back to his wife. “Zelda? Zelda, what’s wrong?”

However, when  Zelda looked up,  she was smiling. “The baby,” she explained. “It just kicked.”

An odd expression came across Faustus’s face, one that was half horror, half awe. “Really?”

“Yes!” Zelda took Faustus’s hand and placed it on her stomach. “There,” she said after a moment. “Did you feel that?”

Faustus nodded. “Yes.” A tear fell from his eye as he stood, his head in his hands as he walked away. “This can’t be happening! Not now!” Faustus turned back to Zelda. “We’re finally married. You’re pregnant with my child. It’s all I ever wanted and I have to go back to him!”

Zelda was still completely lost. “Him? Him who?”

“My other half, of course,” Faustus answered. “I can’t thank you enough for…my little break, dearest but we both know that it could affect space and time if I’m not made whole soon. I just, I just can’t believe Edward was right. I’m, I’m just like my father.”

The mention of her brother made Zelda angry. “You are nothing like your father!”

“Oh no?”  Faustus challenged. “’ You forget yourself, my dear. A wife walks behind  her husband.’ I said that to you not even an hour after we were married. I cannot tell you how many times my father said exactly those words to my mother and my stepmother. I cringed every single time I heard it. I cringed twice as hard when those very words came out my own mouth. That moment I wanted to kick my own ass!”

“But Faustus, that was the curse  talking,  not you.” Zelda reminded him. 

“Curse? What curse?!”

Zelda’s eyes widened and put her hand over her mouth as the realization dawned on her.  “You don’t know, do you? Faustus do you what an insaniam maledictum spell is?”

Faustus didn’t need to think about it. “An insanity curse?  What’s that got to do with me?”

Everything! Zelda wanted to yell but instead, she said, “It’s getting cold. Let’s get dressed, there’s much to talk about.”

So the couple got dressed and sat side by side on Faustus’s cot.  That’s when Zelda told him everything. How Lucifer asked her to be Lilith’s midwife, how her payment was learning how Edward’s cursed their marriage, how she found his journals, the memory spell, how she confronted Edward and finally how she divided him from the curse.

Faustus, understandingly, was shocked for several moments before he spoke. “Do you mean even 16 years after his death, Edward was still trying to keep us apart?”

Zelda frowned but nodded.

“Why that little control freak! How dare he-“ Faustus stopped himself as he hung his head and his shoulders began to shake with heavy sobs. “For 15 long years, I  heard my voice use words I didn’t want to say and saw my body do things I didn’t want to do! I thought it  was my dark side was taking over completely but I never heard of such a thing!”

A  shiver ran down Zelda’s spine.  “You knew?” She whispered. “You knew but you couldn’t stop it.”

“Mostly. I  was only able to overpower his will when he tried to hit the twins and when he tried to murder you.”

“Faustus, from what I’m hearing,  you  were trapped in a curse that works like a cargarli spell.”

Faustus froze before he stood up and walked a few feet to distance himself from his wife.  “Oh heaven, the cargarli spell! How could I do that to you? I’m so, so sorry Zelda!”

She went to him. “It’s alright, Faustus. You were not responsible for anything you did under the curse. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too.”

“What? Zelda, what on earth do you have to be sorry for?”

“I remember thinking  after our wedding that it couldn’t be you but I let my anger and hurt cloud  my judgment.” She put her arms around his neck. “Plus, I’m sorry it took  me so long to realize that I love you.”

Faustus looked pained. “Zelda, I love you so much but we both know you don’t love me.”

Zelda felt like she had been punched in the gut. “But I do love you, Faustus, truly I do.”

He sighed. “Zelda, you yourself told me that you realized your feeling after reading my journals and performed the memory spell, I think those feelings are just pity.”

“No, Faustus, you’re wrong. Yes, I felt bad for the boy you were but I also realized how much I missed you. I lost count of how many times I want to inferred during the memory spell. I’m in love with you, Faustus and if takes me another 300 years to convince you of that, so  be it!”  She could see that he wasn’t convinced so she tried again. “You were right all along, Faustus, we do belong together. Think of all we’ve through already. Edward denies us permission to marry so you vow never take a wife. Edward tricks you into marriage with Constance,  but it doesn’t kill our feelings for each other or even slow them down. We finally marry and we defeat this insanity curse.  I’ve only forgotten my berries once in my life, barely a month after our marriage and that’s the very night I conceive our child. It all means something Faustus.”

He bit his lip. “Are you sure the curse is gone? I mean, just  because it’s not  in my body anymore doesn’t  mean it didn’t creep into other things.”

“Like what?”

Faustus sighed. “Like the baby. You just said you conceived 1 month after our marriage.  When the curse was on me. So did you even think the baby was fathered by the curse, not by me?”

“I did think of that, actually,” Zelda said. “Then I thought about how before every time we made love as husband and wife, your eyes would grow soft or you would get a nosebleed. I  didn’t know it then but it was you breaking through. Even if you knew it or not, you never let the curse touch me that way and when I realized that, I loved you even more. Secondly, it’s a curse.  We have to stop thinking of it as a real person. It may be wearing your skin and speak with your  voice but it’s only a spell, a parasite we will be well rid of.”

Faustus lowered his eyes. “How can you be so sure that I’m not the curse? You told me yourself that the light was too bright to see when we separated. What if you brought home  the  wrong Blackwood?”

Zelda shook her head. “You’re the real Faustus. I know it  and I can prove it!” Zelda poked around in some drawers and took out something, held it in her hand and went back to Faustus. “One of the things the curse wanted most is to end the Spellman bloodline. We both know I have Spellman blood. So if you are the curse,” Zelda pressed the knife into his hand and even guided his hand up to her throat. “Kill me.”

They silently eyed each other as Zelda let go of the knife and Faustus did nothing either way. Unafraid, Zelda leaned slightly, just enough so the knife bit into her skin and produced a single drop of blood. Faustus’s lip quivered before he threw down the knife and hugged Zelda to him with all his might.

Zelda kissed his cheek before whispering,  “See, darling? You’re not the curse or your father or Edward. You’re you. Faustus. My husband, the father of my unborn baby and the man I love.” Her comments only made him squeezed her tighter.

  Zelda was still holding Faustus when she looked up and saw a cardboard box. It felt oddly out of place because Zelda knew they didn’t keep deliveries down here. She was right; for this was the box Ambrose brought Faustus this morning.

“What  is that?” Zelda asked. Faustus turned, saw it  and moaned.

Faustus, you idiot! He thought. He saw Zelda go over to it but he held her back before she could open it. “No, no, no! I’m sorry Zelda, I meant to burn the contents of that  box before..” Faustus’s voice died out.

“Well, what’s in it?”

Faustus sighed and hung his head. “All your things from when you were Lady  Blackwood. As I said, I meant to burn everything before you got home but then Mambo Marie showed up and I got sidetracked and forgot. You were never supposed to see them again.”

Zelda was touched. Faustus felt so much shame and guilt that he refused to leave the lowest point of the house for weeks and would have killed himself if Zelda hadn’t stopped him. Yet,  somehow, he still had the presence of mind to want to destroy what he knew had been harmful to her. “Well, I’m here now so how about we burn these things together?” She suggested.

Faustus shook his head sadly. “Can’t. I looked all around the house but the only fireplace large  to do this in the living room.”

“So? Let’s go.”

“No!” He objected. “I don’t want to ruin the memory of where we had the most perfect kiss of my life.”

Zelda flashed him a smile. “Faustus, my darling, we have a million kisses ahead of us, possibly in every room in this house.” To prove her point, Zelda kissed him right there.

So, with Faustus carrying the box, they made their way to the living room. The box mainly contained those big, bright, colorful  50’s style dresses Zelda wore as Lady Blackwood. Faustus would just roll them up and toss them into the fire but he couldn’t help but notice that Zelda liked to rip up the dresses before feeding them to the fire. Then, at the very bottom of the box, they found it. The music box.

“I’ll take care of it,” Faustus offered.

“No, I’m okay.” Zelda reached into the box and put the music box on the coffee table and checked the drawers for a picture of herself, just in case. Then Zelda looked up at her husband. “Play it.”

Faustus’s eyes bugged out. “What?! No! I don’t want to!”

“Darling, it’s alright. I asked you to. Play the music.”

Unsure and with a deep sigh,  Faustus winded up the music box. The tune started to play and then Zelda smashed it all to bits with a poker iron. Faustus smiled and joined it with another poker. Then he helped pick up the wooden pieces and threw them into the fire before gathering his wife into his arms. “I don’t know what I was thinking. You look so much better in black anyway.”

“You weren’t  thinking anything, the  curse was.” Zelda reminded him.

  Despite now knowing about the curse, Faustus still had massive feelings of guilt and shame. He still refused to live anywhere but the morgue, but something had changed. For the next 11 nights, Zelda, without fail, would slip into the cot next to Faustus and stay with him all night. On  9 of those 11 nights, they made love.  Faustus had almost forgotten how Zelda’s sexual drive matched so perfectly with his own. On 7 of the nights, Faustus would awaken in a cold swear frightened by harsh nightmares and cruel memories. Sometimes, it took all of Zelda’s soft words and her soft hands to soothed and lull him back to sleep. Despite his promise to her never to try to commit suicide again, Zelda made sure there was at least 1 other person in the house with Faustus at all times since Zelda’s duties during the day were many and growing as this season would be her 1st feast of feast as high priestess. To curb his depression, the other Spellmans tried to interact with him more. Ambrose bought down piles and piles of books and remembered how much he liked to talk about magic and life with the older, more experienced warlock. Sabrina and Faustus struck a deal, to forget their ugly past and try to start anew.  Hilda often went to Faustus for help with schoolwork corrections and advice for the 1st time teacher from the man who had done it for centuries.

 On the 12th night, Zelda came downstairs with a piece of pumpkin pie. “Faustus, I  bought you something.”

Her husband looked up from the book he was reading. “It’s nearly 10,  you’re almost never this late.”

“Oh, Faustus. You see what happens when you live in a morgue. The days’ blends into each other. Today  was Feast of Feast.”

“Yes, and as if it wasn’t chaotic enough with  this being my 1st as high priestess, Hilda was chosen  as queen during the lottery.”

“Zelda, I’m so  sorry.” Faustus frowned.

However, Zelda smiled. “Don’t be, Hilda’s fine.”

“But you just said your sister was the queen of the  feast.”

Zelda nodded.   “I did, but as high priestess you know, it’s my right to change the rules which I did. Now the queen and the handmaiden prepares the meal rather than be the meal.  Then the coven sups together before hearing mass in Freyda’s name. I remember when the elders of the coven  would become enraged when Edward would outlaw things and replace it  with nothing.”

“So do I.  That’s why I put most of them back.”

“But with  my slight  changes, I made most of the coven happy plus we get to enjoy  the queen’s famous pie.” She handed him the pie and sat down next to him. “Blessed feast.”

Faustus kissed her. “Blessed feast, dearest.”

 “Father Blackwood,  I need a favor.”

“Hilda, if I have told you once if I have told you a 100  times, I’m no longer a high priest, it’s okay for you to call me Faustus.”

It was the following afternoon and Hilda rushed into the morgue.

“Okay, well, Fath-um, Faustus, I find myself in a bit of a jam. Zelda just called and with Mambo Marie leaving us in the lurch, there’s nobody to teach the next class but me. Normally, it wouldn’t be a problem but today is Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year for mortals and I already promised Dr. C that I  would help at the bookshop.”

Faustus frowned. “Normally, I would love to help you out but Zelda knows I just can’t look at those students after what  I’ve done. Zelda talks about telling them the truth about  me being here at one point and then try to slowly ease me  back into the coven but I  just don’t see it happening.”

Hilda bit her lip. “I know you don’t want to be seen at the academy and totally understand why. So, um, I was actually asking you if you might go lend Dr. C a hand.”

Faustus’s jaw hit the floor. “Go work at a mortal bookstore, me?  Certainly not! I wouldn’t know what to do. Besides, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I’m under house arrest.”

“Are you?” Questioned Hilda. “Zelda had told me about you trying your powers to make sure they’re gone but you’ve been here nearly a month now  and you’ve rarely left this room, let alone this house. Plus you made that deal with the dark lord that no one serves anymore. It may not be valid. Please, just try, I’m desperate!”

“How?”

Hilda thought for a moment. “Well, when Ambrose was housebound, he couldn’t go past the driveway. We could try that.”

So, they did and  Faustus crossed the Spellman driveway and into the public street with ease.

“I don’t get it,” Faustus said, puzzled. “Why would the dark lord take my power but let me roam free?”

“Maybe he forgot,” Hilda offered. “Anyway, I’ll go call Dr. C and tell him you’re on your way!” She was gone before Faustus could remind her that he hadn’t officially agreed to do anything.

 The walk into town took 20 minutes. Despite everything, even Faustus had to admit that the fresh air and the change of scenery did him a  world of good. What did Hilda say? That it was the biggest shopping day of the year for mortals? Boy, she wasn’t kidding! From the moment he arrived, the place was packed! Apparently, it was a teenage hangout as well as a bookstore. Somehow, Faustus made his way to the check-out counter where Dr. C, who was expecting him, greeted him and gave him a vampire cape to wear. Despite the cape, despite the mortals,  Faustus actually had a pleasant afternoon. It was a very nice afternoon.  It was nice to be busy and have something to do other than just dwell on his own guilt and sadness. Secondly,  Faustus learned the ropes of working retail fairly quickly. Thirdly and perhaps most surprisingly of all, despite the fact that they only met that day, Dr. C and Faustus had an almost instant connection. They say that opposites attract in love but maybe it’s true in friendship as well. The shop was so busy that it was 6:30 that evening before the men could stop to eat.

“Thank you,” Faustus said as he reached for the mug of coffee.

Dr. C smiled. “I’m delighted to meet you,  Faustus. I have heard a lot about you.”

“Not all good, I bet,” Faustus muttered.

Dr. C ignored that comment. “I have a question for you, actually. When Hilda’s brother married a mortal, they got major hassle but it wasn’t a big deal when  Hilda and I got engaged. I’m not complaining or anything just wondering why.”

Faustus raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you an incubus? That’s what Zelda told me.”

“Yeah. I mean, I am now but I  was born mortal. The demon stuff didn’t happen until college.”

“Doesn’t matter. The demon is a part of you and abled you to marry a full-blooded witch, like Hilda. Consider it a marriage loophole.”

Both men heard the chime of the bell above the door which meant more customers.

Dr. C  stood up. “I’ll go. Can you clean up?”

Faustus nodded and  cleaned up until he heard “Come on, old man, give us the money!” Faustus sneaked up to the storefront to see that Dr. C was being robbed at gunpoint.

Damn! Faustus didn’t know what to do. He no longer had magic to save him so  Faustus looked around and smiled.

Meanwhile, Dr. C was in trouble. “Let’s go, old man!” Ordered Punk #1. “This money  better be more real than your attempt to look like a vampire.”

Punks #2 & 3 laughed. “Good one, man,” Punk #2 said. “A fake vampire.”

“You’re right, he is a fake vampire,” Faustus came from the backroom, his hands behind his back. “Unluckily for  you 3, I am a real warlock.”

Punk #3 was in awe. “Cool! So you conquer lands and stuff?”

Faustus sighed.  “No, you idiots, not a warlord. A warlock, a male witch.”

“Right,” sneered Punk #1. “He’s a vampire and now you’re a witch. So,  what are you going to do? Hocus pocus us to death?”

“No. That term is utterly useless. Besides, everyone knows that the really strong spells are in Latin. Like”  Faustus shrugged and spoke some Latin words.

The punks sloppily repeated the words  back then asked, “What does that mean?”

“A  big, honking baseball bat!” Then, and only then did Faustus produce the Louisville slugger from behind his back. He chased the punks around the shop and finally,  out the door. He was so pumped up that he barely heard the gunshot. A moment later, Faustus came back in, the bat resting on his shoulder and he was laughing. “Well, we showed them didn’t we?” Silence. “Dr. C?”

 Zelda and Hilda ran into the ER entrance of the hospital.

“My fiancée has been shot! Where is he?” Hilda demanded of the woman at the nurse’s station. They got the room number and rushed to where Dr. C was with a doctor.

Hilda rushed to him with a hug and kiss. “Oh, love, are you okay?”

“He’ll be fine,” the doctor answered, “It’s just a flesh wound.”

“So, what happened?” Zelda asked, in a tone calmer than her sister.

“I was robbed,” Dr. C explained, “ladies, Faustus was amazing. He distracted the robbers long enough to activate the silent alarm, he chased them off with a bat. One must have gotten scared for the gun went off and glazed my shoulder. When I came back around, I was in the ambulance and Faustus was right there with me. The paramedic told me that Faustus applied pressure to the bleeding and saved my life.”

Hilda closed her eyes and sighed. “Thank Hecate, he was there.”

“Where’s my husband now?” asked Zelda.

“I don’t know.  He was here a second ago.”

In the next room, Faustus looked up at the silvery half-moon. “Hecate, mother, let him be alright. For  he feels one-tenth for Hilda what I feel for Zelda, they’ll be very happy together.”

“You’re praying to Hecate.” Faustus barely saw Zelda in the doorway before his wife was in his arms and kissing him deeply. “What was that for?”

“Are  you kidding?” She replied. “You saved Dr. Cereberus.”

“Saved him? I got him  shot.”

“Don’t be daft,” Zelda dismissed. “You saved him and without having magic, you were in just as much in danger as he was but you didn’t even think of that, did you? That’s what made you a hero tonight.”

“I don’t want to be a hero! I want to be perfect! For only a perfect man could ever be worthy of you.”

She kissed him again. “I love you so much, Faustus even if you are talking nonsense.”

 Hilda stayed overnight at the hospital so Zelda and Faustus took a cab home. Faustus immediately headed for the morgue but Zelda stopped him.

“No, I have a surprise for you and it’s upstairs.” 

So they went upstairs with Zelda explaining she had already planned to give him the surprise tonight but now he truly earned it. Zelda opened a door that led to a cozy bedroom with a double bed and an attached bathroom suite.

Zelda smiled. “Welcome home.”

“This is a whole new room. When did you do this?”

“I started the night after we first made love.”

His eyes bugged out. “You made a whole new bedroom and bathroom in just 11 days?!”

“Darling, some of us still have our magic.”

“Dearest, this is superb.  But I can’t stay here. I don’t deserve  such comfort.”

“Then, do it for me,” Zelda suggested. “I refuse to sleep apart from my husband but my back is crying out in protest at the thought of another night on that cot. Speaking of my increasingly pregnant body, I need to get off my feet. Care to help  me christen our new bed?”  It was only then that Faustus returned her smile.

Hours later, after they had made love and fallen asleep in each other’s arms, Faustus awoke in a cold sweat and a sharp intake of breath. “Damn these nightmares! Will they ever go away.”

“It’s alright, my love. There is no quick fix spell for trauma and you’ve been living with that  curse for some time now.”  Zelda snuggled closer and laced her fingers with his. “The good news is that we have all the time in the world.”

[thehomeforthehopelessromantics]

It’s Always Been Me and You: Part 2

Monday...

(C/N) POV

He saw you in the halls at school. You were at your locker, grabbing your stuff for your lit class. You had your hair up in a ponytail and were wearing a red, white and black striped sweater with a pair of overalls on top.

Cautiously, he approached you. He had no idea how you would respond to him and the anxiety of it was enough to shake him to the core.

“H-Hey.”

You continued grabbing and putting stuff away like you hadn’t even heard him.

“Love?”

You slammed your locker shut, grabbed your bag and left without saying a word or even sparing him a glance. He watched your figure as you got further and further from him, coming to a terrible realization.

You were giving him the silent treatment.

***

Thursday...

(C/N) POV

“You have reached the voicemail of...” Groaning, he ended the call and slammed the phone down on his bed next to him. This was his 10th time calling you today and every time you sent him to voicemail.

Refusing to give up, he opened up messages and shot you a text.

‘Love, I know you’re still mad at me, but it’s almost Friday. Are we still gonna be together this weekend?’

‘Please answer me..’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘I miss you.’

***

Saturday...

(C/N) POV

(C/N) lied in bed all day, staring at a picture of the two of you on his phone. It was a picture of the two of you on his 18th birthday a few months ago. You had smeared frosting onto his cheek and were licking it off of him. It was by far the funniest picture the two of you had together, but right now it was just making him sad since he didn’t know if he would have that with you again. Tears welled up in his eyes the longer he stared and before long he found himself full on sobbing.

His mother came into his room, sensing that something was very wrong. She knew that you didn’t come over last weekend and that he was still at home this weekend.

Upon entering she found her beloved baby boy, face down in a pile of pillows, clutching them desperately as the sobs overtook his body.

Without a second thought, she came and brought him to her chest, rocking him slightly, while his hands cling to the fabric of her dress. Hot tears stained the front of her dress, but she couldn’t‘ve even cared less at that moment. Her son was hurting and needed her.

“I... I screwed up so... so bad, mom.” He mumbled between sobs. He wanted to stop crying, he wanted to pull himself together but he just couldn’t. His best friend in the whole world wouldn’t speak to him and it was beginning to feel like he was dying without you.

***

Sunday...

He tried calling you 20 times. He never got a response.

***

Monday...

You wouldn’t even let him get close to you at school.

***

Saturday...

(C/N) POV

You two had fought before. Yelled nasty thing at each other for hours. You’d both been vicious and cruel and yet still managed to work it out. This time it seemed like working it out was out of the picture. For two straight weeks, (C/N) had tried to talk to you. Call, text, at school-- nothing. You wouldn’t even look at him anymore.

Today, he decided that enough was enough and that you were gonna talk to him whether you liked it or not. He couldn’t keep going like this. You were his best friend and right now it was feeling like he lost you and it was killing him. He tried being around Lilith a bit more, hoping that it would help, but ultimately it made him feel worse. 

And it wasn’t because Lilith wasn’t fun or interesting-- she was. She was that and so much more. She was a gymnast and student body president at her school. She volunteered at an animal shelter and was kind and sure of herself.

She was all that (C/N) could’ve asked for in a girl and yet the only thing (C/N) could think was that she wasn’t you. 

He needed to fix things with you as soon as humanly possible. 

Working up the nerve, he finally got out of his car that he’d been sitting in for 15 minutes now. He walked up to your door and knocked. 

As the door opened the apology started falling off his lips, “(Y/N), I’m so sorry for-” He quickly realized it wasn’t you at the door, but your older brother, Ace. 

“Hey, don’t stop on my account. I’m sure (Y/N) can hear you from wherever she is right about now.” 

“Ace?”

“Surprised?” he said, breaking out into a boyish grin. “Her birthday is coming up and I have a break from classes so I figured I’d come to surprise her. She has no clue I’m here yet. Did you really think I was gonna miss it?” 

“N-No, I just wasn’t expecting you to open the door.” (C/N)’s cheeks turned red with embarrassment. “Where is she?”  “She went somewhere with our parents. They made sure she was out of the house so I could come.” Ace said calmly as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Now why exactly are you showing up at the front door, apologizing profusely? You and the little monster get into a fight?” 

(C/N) nodded his head slowly, looking down at his feet. “I messed up really bad, Ace. I have no idea how I’m gonna fix it.” 

Ace paused for a moment before gesturing for (C/N) to come in. “I’ll tell mom and dad to keep her out longer.”

They sat down in the dining room and (C/N) began to explain exactly what had happened between them. By the time he was done explaining, Ace had clenched his jaw.

“She has every right to be pissed at you,” Ace scowled. “That was a real a-hole thing to say.”  “I know it was. I just..” (C/N) sighed and ran his hand over his face. “It was in the heat of the moment, I didn’t mean it. Now, I can’t even get her to be around me long enough to tell her I’m sorry.”  

“Do you know why you still want to be friends with her?” Ace asked, knowing that he should be flipping the table and kicking (C/N) out because he hurt your feelings in a way that no one else could. But he didn’t, mainly because you weren’t the only one he watched grow up. It was you and (C/N), and Ace saw how happy being (C/N)’s friend made you. He also knew that the boy sitting next to him was deliriously in love with his best friend and that she was just as crazy about him. 

“Of course I do,” he said exasperatedly, letting his fingers absentmindedly fiddle with the friendship ring you’d given him two years ago. “She’s honest and loyal and one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. She doesn’t ever judge me and she always has my back.” A small smile appeared on his face as he spoke. “She’s the only person I can stay up all night talking to and still miss her the second we stop. I’ve never met someone that I just clicked with like that. I can’t remember what my life was like before her and I don’t wanna know what it’d be like without her by my side anymore. She’s my person.” 

5 years worth of memories flooded through (C/N)’s head, but he kept coming back to one specific night about a year ago.

The two of you were at his house and it was around 2 in the morning. You were cuddled on his bed-- him lying on the headboard and you on his chest, watching Shrek 2 with two empty tubs of ice cream next to you. Your eyes were trained on the movie, which made sense seeing as it was one of your favorites. His eyes on the other hand just wouldn’t leave you. His hands kept trailing up and down your arm, drawing light patterns on your skin with his fingertips. He could’ve stayed right there in that moment forever and he was sure he would’ve if you hadn’t jumped up and started singing along with the fairy godmother’s rendition of “I Need A Hero.” He watched you dance around his room in one of his shirts and he felt totally at peace. He loved when you wore his clothes. They were always far too big on you, but you didn’t care-- claiming you like the fact that it smelled like him— it made you feel safe and at home. You plopped down on the bed next to him when the song finished. With a huge, breathless smile on your face, you brought yourself up between his knees, your arms draped around his neck.   

In the most adorable voice he’s ever heard in his life you whispered, “Be my hero?” 

That was by far his favorite memory of you. It was also the first time he’d wished that he had the guts to kiss you. 

“What do I do, Ace?” 

“I honestly don’t know this time, kiddo,” Ace admitted. He usually knew what to do to help mend things between you two, but not this time. This wasn’t a ‘he ate my ice cream’ or a ‘she keeps stealing my clothes’ situation. This was about what he said, about this girl he’s been seeing and the unspoken feelings between you two. 

“Do you think she’ll forgive me?”

“I think she needs you almost as much as you need her.”

***

On (Y/N)’s birthday... 

(Y/N) POV

Your fingers hovered over the send button for a least five minutes before you just closed your phone entirely. You’d retyped the message a thousand times now.

‘Can we talk?’

‘Do you wanna come over?’

‘I miss you.’

‘I wish you were here.’

This was infuriating. You were still mad at him but today was your birthday and every other important person in your life was downstairs while (C/N) wasn’t.

You hadn’t heard from him all day and you honestly were missing him terribly over these past few weeks. You wanted him to at least be here, even if the two of you didn’t speak.

Deciding that you’d spent enough time pondering about if he was gonna show up tonight or if you should just call him, you stood and looked yourself over in the mirror.

You had on a quarter sleeve cold shoulder black mesh top, that was opaque over the breast but sheer everywhere else. Paired with a skater skirt and a pair of knee-high boots, you looked stunning and ready to take on the world. Turning on your heel, you opened your door and waltzed downstairs to see your family waiting for you.

You were gonna be okay regardless of whether or not (C/N) showed up.... Right?

***

You were sitting on the couch, under Ace’s arm, listening to your Aunt Delilah tell a story about the time she accidentally performed at a concert she wasn’t supposed to be at in the first place. You were okay. Sitting with your family, talking, laughing and eating. It was fun, but you couldn’t shake that feeling that had been gnawing at you all night.

(C/N) should be here. He’s family too.

As Aunt Delilah finished her story, her husband, Ricky, piped up. “Hey, sport, where’s your other half? Usually, we can’t get you two to stop talking long enough for Delilah to get through a story.” Everyone laughed as you tried to give a smile that probably looked more like a grimace.

“Umm, I think he’s-” you started but were quickly cut off by the sound of the doorbell. Furrowing your eyebrows you looked around. “Are any of you expecting anyone else?”

Murmurs of no went through your family as you stood up, going to answer the door. You left the living room and went through the dining hall and the kitchen in order to get to the door. Upon opening it your jaw just about hit the floor.

Standing in front of you was (C/N) in a black hoodie and jeans holding a huge bouquet of carnations— your favorite flowers.

“Happy Birthday, Love,” he said nervously. “I-I know you’re still mad at me and I shouldn’t have shown up here today, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to see you.” He handed you the flowers. You looked up at him and quirked an eyebrow. “You still won’t speak to me, huh? Jesus, I made a real mess out of things, didn’t I?”

He dropped his head to stare at his feet as he blinked back an oncoming wave of tears and shoved his hands in his pockets, shuffling anxiously, mentally preparing himself for you to tell him to go away or to throw the flowers back at him or to slam the door. His chest hurt just thinking about the endless ways you could get rid of him.

“Thank you,” you said and his head snapped up to you. “I didn’t think you were gonna show up.”

“And miss your birthday?” He asked incredulously. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” He bit down on his lips as he looked at you. He could’ve cried he was so happy. You were speaking to him again.

Shifting your weight from one foot to the other you asked, “How are things with Lilith?” You kept a calm face but internally you were praying he said awful. You didn’t know if you could handle it if things were going well with her.

His eyebrows raised in surprise. Of all the things he thought you would say, he didn’t predict that one. A nervous chuckle left his lips. “Nonexistent as of recently.”

“Really? What happened?” You asked curiously, a small part of your foolishly hoping that it had something to do with you.

“She just... she wasn’t what I really wanted.” His eyes met yours as he spoke and a shiver went down your spine. You nodded your head slowly. “Can I... can we talk? Please? I really need to fix this.”

You shook your head and stepped back gesturing for him to come in. The two of you walked silently into the kitchen where you took a seat on a countertop and he leaned against the wall across from you, gnawing on his bottom lip. He’d prepared his apology at least a hundred times on the way here and now, with you in front of him, he couldn’t say one word.

“So, are we gonna talk or do you want a picture?” You said with an icy edge to your voice, breaking the silence. The tension in the room was driving you mad. The corners of his lips turned up ruefully.

“(Y/N).. I am so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean a word of it-”

“Why did you say it then?” You had intended to let him finish what he was saying but the question had been plaguing you for weeks now and if you didn’t get an answer you were gonna scream.

“I...” his voice trailed off. “I don’t know. I know that’s not a good enough answer but it’s the truth. I don’t know why I said that or where that came from. You’re my best friend and I love you. These past few weeks without you have been the worst weeks of my life.” He pushed off the wall and came and stood a bit closer.

Not close enough.

“So, what? You say sorry and I’m supposed to pretend that you didn’t basically tell me that you don’t want to be friends with me anymore?” You furrowed your brows in frustration. You wanted to forgive him, you missed him like crazy, but he still hurt your feelings really badly and you didn’t want it to feel like what he said to you was okay.

“I don’t expect that at all,” he said honestly. “I honestly was expecting for you to raise hell when I showed up here in the first place. It’s totally fine if you’re still mad at me-- I’m still mad at me, just don’t shut me out anymore, please. I can’t take it. The silent treatment is killing me and I miss my best friend.” He stuck his bottom lip out in an adorable pout that he only brought out when he wanted something from you. It was totally unfair and he knew it but he was desperate. 

You let your shoulders drop as you let out a long sigh. You were trying to stay mad, but when he did the pouting thing and sounded so miserable, you felt your resolve slipping fast. 

“Do you really think I’m clingy?” You asked in a small voice as you looked down in your lap. 

“No.” He came and stood in front of you. He wanted to pull you to him and kiss you until both your lips were sore, but he settled for just being close to you. In those few weeks without you, he almost forgot how much self-restraint he had to practice around you— and how intoxicating your presence was. “You are in no way, shape or form clingy. If anything I’m the clingy one. If you aren’t there I don’t even know what to do with myself,” he laughed lightly and you let out a snicker as you rolled your eyes shoving him lightly.

He quickly caught your hand in his own and held it against his chest as he moved to stand between your knees. Leaning forward he placed his forehead on yours and your breath caught in your chest.

He was so close.

You were grateful that you were already sitting or else you were sure your knees would’ve given in already. His scent engulfed you, making you feel safe and at home like it always did.

“I’m lost without you, love,” he whispered as he bumped his nose against yours. “I’m not prepared to lose you, (Y/N.) I can’t. I won’t survive it.”

You knew you should say something back. You should tell him that you forgave him or to back away or question him again, but you couldn’t even breath properly with him this close to you, let alone speak.

Jesus.

You thought that your heart was gonna leap out of your chest if he got any closer.

He knew he should back up, that he was going just a bit too far— getting a bit too close.

He knew that he was doing things that friends shouldn’t do with other friends. But you were sitting in front of him for the first time in forever and you were looking at him with those eyes that had always been a weakness for him. He’d do just about anything you wanted and all you had to do was look at him.

As he stood there he noticed how shallow your breaths were becoming.

Could it be possible you wanted him too?

Swallowing hard he opened his mouth and began to whisper, “(Y/N), I’m about to ask you something and I want you to know it’s perfectly fine if you say no, alright?” His gaze flickered between your eyes and your lips that were coated in chap-stick since you didn’t feel like putting on lipstick. They looked so soft and inviting— all he wanted was to find out what they felt like when pressed against his.

You nodded your head slightly and he took a deep breath. “Can I k-”

“Who was at the- oh,” Ace said as he entered the kitchen, mouth falling open at the sight of his baby sister on the counter with her best friend hovering too close to be considered friendly. (C/N) pulled away from you like you were on fire— a small part of him was scared your brother was gonna beat him for being that close to you. Your cheeks turned scarlet as you stared down at the floor, baffled.

Was he about to ask if he could kiss you?

“I was wondering when you were gonna show up,” Ace smiled at (C/N) and threw an arm over him. “So you two made up?”

(C/N)’s eyes immediately went to you, silently begging you to tell him that things were okay between you. You nodded, maintaining eye contact with (C/N) who broke into the widest grin you’d ever seen on him.

“Great!” Ace exclaimed. “That means I don’t have to actually be her big brother and kick you out. Being her brother is exhausting, y’know.”

“It couldn’t be half as much work as being your little sister,” you joked, sticking your tongue out at Ace.

“On the contrary, little monster, you continually prove yourself to be quite the handful. Especially around loverboy here.” Ace squeezed (C/N) shoulder in a playful manner, but (C/N)’s stomach lurched as he looked at you, almost scared of your response.

You saw exactly what your brother was doing. He knew you had feelings for (C/N) and he was trying to call you out. Refusing to give him the satisfaction, you simply said “If anyone’s the handful, it’s you. The number of times I’ve had to lie for you. God. I should get an academy award for my performances.”

A strange sense of relief and disappointment spread in the pit of (C/N)’s stomach. You hadn’t said anything basically outright telling him that you didn’t want him, but that was because you didn’t address that part of the sentence at all. A second ago, he was pretty sure you were gonna let him kiss you because you wanted him too, but now he had no idea.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ace rolled his eyes. “Be sure to give me a shout out when you win your first award since I was the one who gave you your first gig. Let’s go, Uncle Ricky is waiting.”

“Why?”

“You know him, he’s as nosy as it gets. He wants to know,” a sneaky grin spread across your brothers face as he looked between you and (C/N), “what was taking you so long.”

Your heart immediately dropped to your feet as you realized the compromising position your brother had caught you two in. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me, little monster.” Ace smirked at you before blowing you a kiss and starting to run away. You were quick on your feet and chasing him almost immediately.

Heels be damned.

“Ace! Get back here!”

Ace ran all the way to where your family was sitting in the living room, opening his big mouth he said breathlessly with a huge grin on his face, “Hey Uncle Ricky, you won’t believe what I-” You didn’t even want to know how he was gonna finish his sentence and you weren’t gonna find out. You literally jumped on him, causing you both to topple to the floor as a chorus of laughter erupted throughout the room.

Popping up, onto your feet and adjusting your skirt so you weren’t flashing anyone (by anyone you meant (C/N)) you gave everyone a bright smile and said: “Guess who finally showed up.”

Everyone followed your line of sight to see (C/N) standing in the doorway, staring back at you adoringly. You were the only person he knew that could tackle your older brother to the floor and get up like nothing happened.

“C/N! Hey, come on in, have a seat,” your mom said and (C/N) happily obliged.

You watched for a minute, loving how well he fit in with your family before he turned to you and patted the empty seat next to him, mouthing a quick “I miss you,” that made your heart flutter before going to sit next to him. Automatically, he had you under his arm, pulling you to his chest and you had to fight the smile that was trying to make its way onto your face.

***

“Are you gonna stay the night?” You asked while absentmindedly tracing shapes on (C/N)’s abdomen. Your family had left a little while ago, your parents going upstairs as well as Ace, the rest of your family going back home. It was around 11 now and you and (C/N) were still sitting on the couch cuddled together.

You had your head in his lap and his fingers gently traced the frame of your face, moving into your hair to play with it.

“I didn’t pack an overnight bag,” he said with a small pout, almost upset with himself. “I didn’t think that this night would go as well as it did. Thought you would’ve slammed the door in my face.”

“You thought I was that mad?”

He scoffed as he tugged at your hair slightly to make you look at him, “You gave me the silent treatment for two straight weeks. You wouldn’t talk to me, look at me or even be around me. Yeah, I thought you were that mad.” Rolling his eyes, he let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Well if it makes you feel better, I was hoping all day that you would show up. I didn’t care if we didn’t speak at all, I just wanted you here. Felt wrong having every other important person in my life here and not having you here.”

“Really?” He asked, looking down at you with uncertainty. “I thought you didn’t care. Was scared that you were done with me entirely.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You hit his stomach lightly. “I don’t care how mad I get, at the end of the day you’re family. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you.”

He smiled down at you softly, your words making him practically melt. After two long weeks, you were here, lying in his lap, staring up at him with those gorgeous eyes and he couldn’t have been happier.

“Alright, alright,” you waved a hand dismissively through the air. “Enough sentimental stuff, you know I love you already. I wanna know what happened with Lilith.”

Knowing that they didn’t work made you happy in a way you shouldn’t be but you were also curious as to why.

“Oh uh..” using his free hand he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Nothing really. We started spending some time together and she’s amazing, but she’s just not what I need, y’know?”

His heart was pounding in his chest. This felt too much like him telling you that he wanted you and it was scaring the life out of him.

“What is it that you need?” You asked, staring up at him with innocent questioning eyes.

You. You. You.

“Just... something else. Someone else,” he muttered under his breath, almost hoping that you didn’t hear him. He wanted to tell you exactly how he was feeling. He thought about how easy it would be for him to just blurt it out, but he didn’t know if you felt the same. He would rather keep you in his life as a friend than lose you trying to push for more.

And yet, as much as he tried to sit there and convince himself that this was enough— that just being your best friend was enough, everything in him was telling him it wasn’t. It never would be.

He wanted to be your best friend, your boyfriend, your lover, your confidant, your other half. He wanted to be able to kiss you and call you his. He wanted you— all of you.

“(Y/N)?”

“Hmm?”

“If I asked to kiss you what would say?”

You could’ve choked on your own spit as your eyes snapped to his before you got a hold of yourself and gave him a playful smirk, thinking this was just another one of your normal teasing moments. “Awww, honey. If you wanted me all you had to do was say so,” you said singsongily as you sat up so you could look at him directly.

“So that’s it? All I have to do is say so and you’re mine?” He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him.

“Just say the word and I’m yours,” you mumbled in agreement, beginning to feel like this was more than your normal teasing. His eyes were trained on your lips, staring at them like you would stare at a piece of art. “(C/N).” you said lowly.

“Yes?” He whispered, still staring at you as his eyes glazed over. One of his hand reached up to push a strand of hair behind your ear.

Hesitantly, you leaned in until you were a breath away from him. One small move and his lips would be against yours. “Tell me what you want.”

Titling his head he leaned in and let his lips brush over yours. “You.”

Your heart was beating so fast you couldn’t even hear it anymore. “What are you waiting for?” you mumbled against his lips and that was all he needed to hear.

He smashed his lips to yours fervently and his hand cupped the back of your neck keeping you pressed against him, while his other hand tighten around your waist. You kissed back just as desperately, grabbing him by the front of his hoodie to draw him closer, not liking the space between the two of you, no matter how small.

You pulled back for a second to say something, but completely forgot whatever it was you were gonna say a second later as he reattached his lips to yours. Without even thinking, he grabbed your leg and placed it on the other side of him so you were straddling him. He knew he should probably slow down but he didn’t know how. Not when you tasted this good and felt so right pressed against him like this.

His hands didn’t seem to know how to stay still, moving from your face to your neck to your waist and hips to your bare thighs as your skirt continued to ride up. Absentmindedly you grinded down into him, eliciting a surprised groan of pleasure from him. His lips left yours for a moment to pull his hoodie off, the fabric was keeping him from feeling you the way he wanted and it was driving him mad.

Gripping your hips and pulling you close, he pressed open mouth kisses to your neck. He stopped for a moment to bite down, causing a moan to come from the back of your throat and you felt him smile and laugh a little against you.

“What’s so funny?” You asked while trying to catch your breath. He pulled back to look at you, pressing a firm kiss against your lips.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you moan,” he said with pride laced in his voice. He loved the sound and had every intention of pulling it out of you as many times as he could. You rolled your eyes at him and shook your head.

Before you realized it, he had your chin gripped tightly in his hand, forcing you to look him in the eye. “Keep doing that and I’m gonna have to give you a reason to roll your eyes.”

The threat sent a shiver down your spine as he leaned in and bit down hard on your bottom lip, making you wince.

After licking it to ease the pain, he looked at you again, a sharp challenging look in his eyes. “Understood?”

Not trusting your voice, you nodded your head. If you weren’t turned on before you definitely were now.

Smirking at you, he mumbled, “Good.” And then you were lost in his kiss again, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, making you let out a broken moan.

You don’t know how long you sat there locking lips, but things were getting heated quickly between you grinding into him, his hands moving further and further up your thighs, gripping them so tight that you were sure you were gonna have bruises in the morning and the moans you both were letting out. The sexual tension alone was enough to drive you to keep going, but eventually, you needed to breathe, much to both of your dismay.

Pulling back, you both tried to catch your breath. His grip on you didn’t loosen at all, he was scared you’d move away if it did. Simultaneously you realized that this wasn’t just some guy who you kissed and were now on top of— this was (C/N.) Your best friend.

A part of you was scared that it was just a heat of the moment thing rather than anything more. God, you prayed it was more.

“Well, that was...” you started dazedly.

“Yeah,” he finished for you, still out of breath, a small smile making it way onto his face.

“So um,” you cleared your throat, sitting up a little straighter while taking a deep breath, pushing a few stray hairs behind your ears. “What was that?”

“I think that was called a kiss, love. I’m sure you’ve done it before,” he teased, tugging you closer by your hips. You weren’t sure how much closer the two of you could get, but this didn’t stop him from trying.

“Yes, I’ve done it before,” you rolled your eyes, “I-”

“What did I say about rolling your eyes?” He asked sternly as he squeezed your hips to get your attention as if he didn’t already have it. You lost your train of thought as the idea of rolling your eyes again just to see what he would do crossed your mind.

“Uh, as I was saying,” you made a conscious effort not to roll your eyes like you wanted to. “Friends don’t kiss friends and we’re supposed to be,” you voice wavered off as he started tracing small circles on your sides, “just friends.”

Moving closer, he pressed light kisses on your neck. “We.” Kiss. “Aren’t.” Kiss. “Just.” Kiss. “Friends.” He bit you and you let out a small groan. His head moved up so he was looking you directly in the eye.

“(C/N), what are you trying to sa-”

“I’m saying that I love you,” he said with surety in his tone. He didn’t know if you felt the same way he did before, but after a kiss like that, he was sure. There was no way you could kiss him like that and not feel anything. 

You couldn’t believe your ears and you look at him with disbelief. “Babe, this isn’t a good time for you to be joking around.” The pet name slipped off your lips before you could stop it and he smiled. 

“And who says I’m joking around, love?” 

You bit down on your bottom lip, still not sure if you should believe him. It sounded too good to be true.

“Do you remember that night that we sat up in my room watching Shrek 2 and you started singing I Need a Hero?” he asked randomly and your scrunched up your face. 

“Of course, but what does that have to do with anything?”  “That was the night I realized just how hopelessly in love with you I am.” Taking your hands in his, praying silently that you believed him. “For as long as I can remember, you’ve always been there. I don’t remember what my life was like before you came into it. Every girl I’ve ever tried to be with always turned me down because they all said that they thought that I was in love with you. At first, I thought they were crazy,” he let out a quick laugh as he looked down at your hands. “Until I realized that I was comparing every girl to you. None of them even came close to you, baby.” 

“(C/N)-” “Wait, just... let me finish this. I might chicken out if I don’t get all this out right now,” he said, cracking a smile. You nodded understandingly and he continued.  “The reason that I didn’t want you there when Lilith came over was that I knew if you were there, I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else.” He let out a shaky breath, the first visibly nervous action you’ve seen out of him since he kissed you. “I tried getting over you. I tried to put all those feelings into Lilith, but the more time I spent with her these past few weeks, the more I thought of you. I even kissed her, and it was a good kiss,” you raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking why he was telling you about his kiss with another girl. Laughing a little, he kissed your knuckles. 

“But no matter how good a kiss it was, I still pictured myself kissing you. No matter how much I tried, she was never gonna be you.”  Placing your hands on his chest, he wrapped his arms around your waist. 

“I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending it’s you,” he whispered like a confession. “I don’t want anyone else and I don’t want to pretend I do.”  You scrambled mentally for something to say and after a few beats you said with a loving smile on your lips, “You win.”  “I win?” You could’ve laughed at the puzzled look on his face. “I tell you I love you and you tell me I won?” He let out a nervous laugh. “Am I missing something?”

“You don’t remember our deal? You take a risk that I deem worthy and I’ll do any one thing for you. You told me you loved me-- huge risk. So you win. All you have to do now is claim your reward,” you said suggestively. He stared at you blankly for a moment before realizing what you were saying. 

You slung your arms over his neck as he grinned mischievously. “So I get to have anything? Anything I want? Including you?” 

“I said anything, didn’t I?” you said sweetly as you gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. He tried to kiss you again, but you stopped him. Before he could protest and plant another kiss on your lips you said, “I love you too.” 

That effectively froze him in place. This whole day had to be a dream. Not only did he get his best friend back, but she loved him back too? If he died now he would die a happy man.  “I’ve known it for a while now, I just didn’t think that you feeling the same way was possible.” You rested your forehead against his and whispered, “You can have me anytime you get ready, all you have to do is ask.”

“Be mine?” He whispered back, his lips ghosting over yours.

“I’ve been yours for a long time, babe. It’s always been me and you.”

This time you leaned in to connect your lips together, knowing that there was nothing else either of you could’ve said to each other.

***

One year later...

“Where’s the birthday girl?” (C/N) shouted as he came bathing into your dorm room with a bouquet of flowers and balloons and a gift bag.

Excitedly, you hopped off your bed and ran directly into his arms.

“There you are,” he mused as he hugged you back tightly. It’d been a while since you’d seen him face to face since you’d been holed up in your room studying for your Lit exam that was coming up. “Happy birthday, my love.”

Pulling back slightly, you pushed up on your tippy toes and pressed a firm kiss to his lips before mumbling against them, “Happy anniversary.”

Tag list:

@trumpettay @sweetcoldpeach @ihaveanobsessionwithdanielhowell @sr-rs @jermthemelancholygiraffe @introvertedrhi @toxicdonatsu @kiwidawn @thegreenpea

[hippychick006]

5.01 - Sympathy for the Devil

I had almost completed this recap when chrome decided to freeze on me. Normally I autosave, but Tumblr doesn’t have this feature and I forgot to save as I went along.  As a result, I’m slightly more irked than normal so this might show in the writing.  

It’s long again.  That’s only partly due to the fact there’s so much going on: we have Sam, Dean, Zachariah, Castiel, Nick, Bobby, Chuck... and far from being overwhelmed and giving me whiplash, the story is all linked to a single thread.  It’s interesting and engaging, and the actors all do an amazing job, so this episode is definitely worth a re-watch, especially if you like your heart getting ripped out of your chest while it’s still beating. 

The rest of the length is due to having so many issues, both from a narrative and retconning perspective.  Part of the problem is I’m bringing some of the pandering dialogue from the last few years back to the earlier episodes and it just makes these episodes even more painful to watch than they were the first time around.

Thunderstruck by AC/DC plays as we recap on Season 4.  It’s not any less traumatic in recap.

We open exactly where we left off. Sam and Dean are in the convent holding on to each other. We don’t stay there for long though as just when things start looking dodgy, Sam and Dean are transported onto an airplane.  I like the inflight cartoon is a clip of Yosemite Sam in front of the devil. Nice touch.   

Just when they think they are safe, a bright white light shoots up from the ground (obviously from the convent) and the force causes the airplane to veer off course.  The oxygen masks descend, and the plane shakes violently. I think even Sammy might be all aboard the nope to flying ever again train after his second experience of a flight almost crashing.

They land fine though because next time we see them, they are in a car that isn’t baby.  The digital readout on the radio gives it away, and I remember baby is back at Bobby’s as Dean was teleported in the last episode. There’s no decent rock music, it’s all hurricanes, nuclear tests, earthquakes and swine flu.  Sam turns it off and tries to speak to Dean.  Dean says not to say anything, that it’s okay, they just need to keep their heads down and figure things out.  First things first, find Cass.

Chuck’s house is an explosion, blood is splattered everywhere.  And as they look around, Sam suddenly gets whacked hard in the face with a toilet plunger.  Turns out to be Chuck, he’s survived and he’s surprised to see them.  He asks if Sam is okay.   Sam responds, “Well, my head hurts.”  I love sarcastic Sam, we don’t get enough of him.  Chuck clarifies: “No, I mean—I mean, my—My last vision.  You went, like, full-on Vader.  Your body temperature was one-fifty. Your heart rate was two hundred. Your eyes were black.  Dean: “Your eyes went black?”  Sam turns back to look at him, “I didn’t know.”

Dean asks where Cass is and Chuck says he exploded.  After 10 seasons of Cass and 3 years of “Where’s Cass?” on social media, I would be cheering this outcome now, but Season 5 me is a little sad.

Sam indicates that Chuck has something stuck in his hair.  Turns out it’s a molar.  Chuck: “This has been a really stressful day.”

Zachariah turns up (and for the purposes of my fingers, he’s now Zach), Dean’s pissed and going nowhere with them as “You sons of bitches jump started judgement day”.

Zach: Maybe we let it happen.  We didn’t start anything.  Right, Sammy?  [Zach winks at Sam].  I control my red mist of rage and quietly start a tally of how many times Sam will be blamed by the narrative for starting the apocalypse.

Zach wisely ignores my angry typing and continues: “You had a chance to stop your brother and you couldn’t.  So, let's not quibble over who started what. Let's just say it was… all our faults and move on…

Oh Zach, if only we could, but at least twice more in this episode alone, not to mention years later, the narrative will still be pointing the finger at Sammy.

Zach is very keen to put the past betrayals behind them.  They’re back on the same team again. As he puts it: “You want to kill the devil.   We want you to kill the devil. It's...synergy.”  I love Zach.  Yes, he’s a dick, but you know where you are with him.  He’s not sneaking off stealing colts while pretending to be besties. 

Dean unsurprisingly after the last episode has trust issues and suggests that Zach “Cram it with walnuts, ugly.” Zach gets hissy.  He tells them they need to strike before Lucifer finds his vessel.   Sam asks “Lucifer needs a meat suit?”

Zach confirms this and that Dean can stop him, but he will need the help of the angels. Dean though, doesn’t want jack squat from the two-faced douchebags (his words).  Dean soon gets bored with the conversation and pulls a door towards him.  We see it has the angel banishing symbol on it. Dean slams his hand on the door and Zach and his goons disappear.  Dean: Learned that from my friend Cas, you son of a bitch.

Wait, hold on. Back the fuck right up.  The guy that forced you to face and torture Alastair, lied to you about what exactly you were signing up for, betrayed you by not telling you about heaven’s plans for your brother - and you do not want me to get started on the panic room fiasco. He finally does one right thing and you not only trust him, he’s been elevated to friend? That guy?  GTFO with that nonsense. Heh, watching when you no longer like a character gets you to see everything in a new light.  

Chuck: This sucks ass.

Well thank you Chuck, for that observation.  It does indeed suck ass.  I had no idea on re-watching I would have so many issues with a Kripke episode.

We next see Sam coming down a staircase to enter a motel.  He enters the room and throws a hex bag to Dean saying, there’s no way angels or demons will find them with those. Dean asks where he got it from and Sam says he made it (his face is so earnest here).  Dean asks how and Sam’s reluctant to tell him, but Dean looks at him and he says.  “I…I learned it from Ruby.”

I love Sam’s face in this interaction, but I’m going to call the scene out.  Dean knows about the hex bags.  He learned about them in season 3, from Ruby herself. He even used them himself in 4.18.   I’m going to ignore the hypocrisy that it seems to be okay to use something learned from an angelic lying skank that betrayed them (the angel banishing sigil), but not something else from a demonic lying skank that betrayed them (a hex bag).  Oh wait, I’m not ignoring the hypocrisy at all because I’ve just called it out! Increasingly bitter 10 minutes into the episode, we move on.

Dean asks if Sam’s “jonesing for another hit of bitch blood or what?”  Sam says no, whoever put him on that plane cleaned him up. He tries to speak to Dean again.  He doesn’t get further than Dean’s name.  Dean responds sharply, “Sam” and turns and walks away saying it’s okay, that Sam doesn’t have to say anything. 

Sam: Well, that's good. Because what can I even say? "I'm sorry"? "I screwed up"? Doesn't really do it justice, you know? Look, there's nothing I can do or say that will ever make this right… (bolding for the people that say Sam doesn’t own up to his mistakes, even if he makes them unknowingly).

Dean (angrily): So why do you keep bringing it up?!  Sam keeps quiet and Dean continues, “Look, all I'm saying is, why do we have to put this under a microscope? We made a mess. We clean it up. That's it.”

Ha ha, if only that were true.  Let me just stop you there, Dean and quote your own words, Season 8, episode 23: “All right. Well, I’m just spit-balling here, but if I were you, uh…Ruby, killing Lilith, letting Lucifer out, losing your soul (don’t get me started on this one either ffs or these recaps will turn into war and peace), not looking for me when I went to Purgatory…”

While I’m still not so quietly seething, they talk about what they would do if it was any other hunt and decide they need to find Lucifer.

Cut to our first view of Mark Pellegrino as pre-Lucifer, Nick.  I liked Season 5 Lucifer (both Mark and Jared’s versions) so I liked all of these scenes the first watch.  I like Hallucifer in Season 7.  I like a couple of scenes after that; e.g. Sam in the cage with Lucifer in season 11 and Sam again with Lucifer in the cave in Season 13, but other than that, I’m done with Nick/Lucifer and his storyline (plus all the angels). Anyway, to rudely cut Nick’s scene short, his dead wife appears in his bed and says: “It's you, Nick. You're special. You're chosen.” 

Oh, I forgot superfan psycho!Becky (online username samlicker81, webmistress of morethanbrothers dot net) was in this one.  Enough said about her the better. I do like her room has a poster of Route 666 and The Benders.  The first was Kripke’s least favourite episode, and since the Benders was in no way a clunker episode, I’m going to presume it’s one of his favourites.   Becky is writing wincest: "And then Sam touched…No…caressed Dean's clavicle. 'This is wrong,' said Dean. 'Then I don't want to be right,' replied Sam, in a husky voice."  I’d have to nope out of that fic, or swap the names around, if only because Sam doesn’t have a husky voice, Dean does.  Anyway, Chuck calls Becky, asking for her help to get a message to Sam and Dean.

Back at the hotel, Sam’s at the table reading John’s journal and Dean is watching TV.

Voice 1 on the television: How would you then explain an earthquake, a hurricane, and multiple tornadoes, all at the same time, all around the globe?

Voice 2: Two words. Carbon emissions.

Dean (to voice 2): Yeah, right, wavy gravy.

I love these little pieces the show put in.  Much better use of dialogue than pandering.

There’s a knock at the door, Dean readies his gun.  Sam answers to reveal it’s superfangirl Becky.  Becky turns out to be one of those fans that don’t respect boundaries as she touches Sam’s chest.  She says she knows he’s Sam Winchester  “and you’re…” Becky looks at Dean who is sitting on the bed watching “… not what I pictured.”  Becky invites herself into the room, telling them she’s read all about them and even written a few… Anyway, she tells them she has a message from Chuck but that he’s being watched by Angels, “Nice change-up to the mythology, by the way. The demon stuff was getting kind of old.”

Oh Becky, Becky, Becky.  Season 14, and we’re still on the angel crap 10 years later, so stow 3 years of demons getting old bullshit. Weeps for what once was, angels would have finished end season 6, which Gamble tried to do, but no, we get 8 more seasons and counting.

They get the message out of Becky. Chuck had a vision: “The Michael sword is on earth. The angels lost it.”  and it’s “In a castle, on a hill made of forty-two dogs.”  Did Castiel send this message?  It’s got his cryptic fingers all over it.  She touches Sam’s chest again. 

Jealous!Dean alert!

Omega!Sam glances nervously over at his Alpha before asking Becky to quit touching him (in retrospect, I think that was just the fan fic version of this episode). Becky does not respect Sam’s wishes.

Bobby arrives at the motel and Dean checks to make sure he wasn’t followed.  They don’t check him for demon signs and vice versa because they all have anti possession tattoos or charms (this bit’s important in a minute).  But Dean does check to make sure Bobby wasn’t followed:

Bobby: You mean by angels, demons, or Sam's new superfan?

Sam (laughing): You heard.

Bobby: I heard, Romeo…

Bobby explains about Michael who used the sword to “boot Lucifer’s ass to the basement” during the last big dust up upstairs. (because over the last couple of seasons, Sam’s forgotten how to do research on his own).  They ask the wise one how they find the sword. Bobby responds.  “Divvy up and start reading—try and make sense of Chuck's nonsense.”  Well thank goodness Bobby’s here! .

Sam gets up and goes to get a book.  He looks troubled.   Bobby asks if he’s all right.  Sam says no, that this is all his fault.  Dean tries to warn him to stop, but Sam keeps going; says that Lilith didn’t break the final seal, that she was the final seal and that Sam killed her and set Lucifer free (entirely on his own, because Dean did not break the foundation stone that allowed the others to fall and 64 other seals just magically put their hands up in surrender and keeled over without any intervention).  But it’s okay for Dean to be tricked by Hell into doing something, but not Sam.  Okay show.

Bobby has forgotten the entirety of season 4 was to stop the seals being broken and that everyone was fully on board with the plan to kill Lilith and stop the final seal being broken as he asks, “you what”

Sam: You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on.

Bolding this line for the people that say Sam doesn’t take responsibility for his actions, which he’s done twice now in this single episode.  Shame no one else is stepping forward and putting their hands up.  Also bolding, because they warned Sam about Ruby and the demon blood, but not that killing Lilith was the final seal, because none of them knew that, so how Lilith was killed and who did it is 100% irrelevant, when they all thought killing her would stop the apocalypse, not start it.

Dean says nothing throughout this next piece, watching as Bobby stands up and walks closer. I want to say this scene is set up brilliantly. Both Dean and Bobby are on a raised platform, looking down on Sam as if in judgement.  Kudos, because that’s exactly what’s happening here.  Bobby: “You're damn right you didn't listen. You were reckless and selfish and arrogant.  Sam says he’s sorry.  And Bobby responds: “Oh, yeah? You're sorry you started Armageddon? This kind of thing don't get forgiven, boy. If, by some miracle, we pull this off...I want you to lose my number. You understand me?”

Sam just nods, he’s not expecting Bobby’s response to be anything different, and that just breaks my heart. Sam suggests he go to a Church nearby and see what they have on the lore.  Bobby: Yeah. You do that.

We see a shot of Sam walking outside and I’m on the point of tears.  And if we question why the narrative is written this way, it’s because of Jared Padalecki’s face all the way through this episode.  The writers don’t hate Sam, they just love kicking him, so we get moments like this.  And dammit, because I do love these scenes we get, even though I hate the narrative that’s giving me them.

Bobby and Dean are doing research.  Bobby says he’d never have guessed that John was right about either saving Sam or killing him.  That maybe they should’t have tried to hard to save him.  “He ended the world, Dean.  And you and I weren’t strong enough to stop him proper.  That’s on us. I’m just saying, your dad was right.”  

I glare at Bobby and remind him he was in 7 episodes last season, not a single one of which did he try and “save” Sam.  In fact, he was pushing to use Sam’s powers in 4.21.

Instead of this triggering a punch to the face, or even a protest from Dean, it triggers him to remember something in his dad’s journal.  He searches through his bag and pulls out a zip lock bag which contains business cards.  The one he’s looking for is to their dad’s lockup in upstate New York which is called “Castle Storage”, located at “42 Rover Hill." The cryptic message is solved and that’s good enough for Bobby who punches Dean, knocking him through the fence on the raised platform. Bobby advances and attacks again.  We see Bobby’s eyes go black.  And I’m really hoping the show will explain this as Bobby has anti possession protection. (Warning, the show does not explain this).

Two demons enter the room while Bobby grabs Dean by the throat and drags him to his feet. The female demon seems to be the one in charge and does all the talking.  Long story short, it’s Meg (Dean incorrectly guessed Ruby before she gave him another try).   I wasn’t sure about Rachel’s version of Meg at first, it was difficult shoes to fill, but she grew on me.  Meg is delighted the apocalypse has started, and for the third time this episode we get Sam single handedly starting the apocalypse: “We really owe your brother a fruit basket.”   Dean on the other hand, is a bump in the road to them getting their demon utopia of hell on earth and every demon is going to be gunning for a piece of him.

Dean (smirking): Get in line.

Meg: Oh, I'm in the front of the line, baby. Let's ride.

Instead of getting her hands dirty though, she hands the knife to Demon!Bobby saying she wants Dean’s surrogate daddy to be the one to kill him.  Bobby attacks and we see him struggle, but his eyes turn black. He raises the knife.  Dean: “Bobby! No!”  The black fades from Bobby’s eyes, the knife comes down, and Bobby flashes that orange colour to signify the demon inside dying.  Bobby has stabbed himself rather than Dean and what a sacrifice.  Really sad to see Bobby go.

Dean is pissed that his retconned surrogate daddy has been killed and punches Meg.  The other demon attacks him, but luckily, Sam’s decided to come back for more judgement and sees the situation.  He goes to help and gets slammed in the face with a telephone, knocking him back against the wall.  And this really isn’t Sam’s day.  

Meg: Heya, Sammy. You miss me? 'Cause I sure missed you.

Sam: Meg

At least Sam knows his demons.  And Meg’s happy to be recognised.  Sam swings and it’s clear Meg needs to get the upper hand for plot reasons as he completely misses. (this should really go under dumb Winchesters because Sam has an uppercut that would have lifted demon!meg off her feet, but I’ll assume it’s because he has slight concussion from 2 blows to the head and let it slide).  Meg takes full advantage of the plot, punching Sam a couple of times, kicking him in the boy bits and knocking him to the ground.  I’m presuming this is all so we can get our “Sam lying helpless on the floor with the demon pulling his hair” kink filled.  And damn the show for knowing me so well (quietly sends show a fruit basket).  “It's not so easy without those super-special demon powers, huh, Sammy?”  Meg taunts. Both boys are getting trounced here, but finally it’s time for Dean to get the upper hand and start showing the 20+ years of training he’s had up to this point.  He takes the legs out from under his demon, takes the knife out of Bobby and stabs the demon.  Orange flashing indicates the demon (and the human he’s hitched a ride with) are dead.  Dean stands and advances on Meg who backs away then smokes out of there.

Back to Nick. Upshot of his scene is that his baby died.  This was sad at the time, and now I don’t really care.

Sam and Dean are at the emergency room, helping Bobby who… well let’s just say he’s a lot less dead than I was expecting.  Back the fuck up for the third time this recap.  Checks back to 4.04 (Metamorphosis):

SAM: I'm pulling demons out of innocent people. DEAN: Use the knife! SAM: The knife kills the victim! What I do, most of them survive! Look, I've saved more people in the last five months than we save in a year.

I really hope this gets explained. (Note, it doesn’t seem to get explained this episode, so it now negates Sam using his demon powers instead of the knife, if all they have to do is stab someone in the gut to kill the demon, but not the host). Bobby’s put on a gurney, Sam and Dean try to follow, but Judgy McJudgerson nurse says to not move, she’s got questions (she totally suspects them of being the stabbers).  Sam looks distressed (he’s possibly already worried the narrative of the next episode will be blaming him for Bobby getting possessed and stabbing himself).  Dean says. “Sammy, we got to go.”  Sam doesn’t want to go, but Dean tells him the demons know where the sword is and they’ve got to get it before the demons.

They arrive at the storage locker, but when they get inside, the demons are already dead. They look around confused.

Zach: I see you told the demons where the sword is.  

Me (at the TV): Oh great, the angels are here.

Dean: Oh, thank god. The angels are here.

Fine, Dean said it better.

Zach TK’s the doors closed.  Long scene short, the angels planted the prophesy inside Chuck’s head.  They had lost the sword but the Winchester’s just hand-delivered it to them.  Dean is confused saying they don’t have anything.  Zach tells Dean that he’s the Michael sword and gets quite nasty about it: “What, you thought you could actually kill Lucifer? You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No. You're just a human, Dean. And not much of one.”

Dean asks what Zach means by him being a sword.  Zach explains he’s Michael’s weapon or more accurately, his receptacle.  Dean realises what this means. “I’m a vessel?” Not just a vessel Dean, but the vessel; Michael’s vessel which Zach says is a great honour.  Dean begs to differ:

Dean: Oh, yeah. Yeah, life as an angel condom. That's real fun. I think I'll pass, thanks.

Uriel – being the funniest angel in the garrison - might have found that line funny. Zach has a lot less humour.   “Always joking. Well...no more jokes.”   He raises his hand, fingers like a gun pointing at Dean, then he switches over to Sam. Bang. A bone cracks and Sam collapses.

Dean (angrily): You son of a bitch!

Zach’s completely done with screwing around though and if Dean keeps mouthing off, he’ll break more than just Sam’s legs.  Dean figures out though that Michael will need his say so to ride around in his skin and gives his answer “Eat me.  The answer’s no.”

Zach tries a carrot, “Okay. How about this? Your friend Bobby—we know he's gravely injured. Say yes, and we'll heal him.” Quickly followed by the stick, “Say no, he'll never walk again.”

Dean says no, even when Zach gives him stage four stomach cancer and he’s coughing up blood. Zach hasn’t got to head honcho for no reason though and goes straight back to Dean’s biggest weakness: “Then let's get really creative. Uh, let's see how...Sam does without his lungs.”  Dean turns to look at SAM, who gasps for breath.  Dean says to just kill them, but Zach is only just getting started.

A bright light flashes, Zach turns and one of the angel’s has a hole in his throat. It’s Castiel (season 5 me: yay Castiel survived!  Season 14 me: oh my god, you’re like a cockroach!).  Zach obviously isn’t a fighter because he just watches as Castiel and the remaining angel fight.  And this must be an episode where Castiel has to look good, because he’s killing these fight scenes.  A second angel dies.  Zach’s too important to the plot to die right now so Castiel and he have a conversation (meanwhile no one worry about Sammy not breathing or anything, I’m sure he’s fine).

Zach asks “how are you…” but get’s no further before Castiel answers: “Alive? That's a good question. How did these two end up on that airplane? Another good question. 'Cause the angels didn't do it. I think we both know the answer, don't we?.  Zach says it’s not possible.  Castiel: “It scares you. Well, it should. Now, put these boys back together and go. I won't ask twice.”

Zach vanishes and Castiel admonishes Sam and Dean, telling them they need to be more careful. Dean says “Yeah, I'm starting to get that. Your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought.”

Castiel says he doesn’t mean the angels.  “Lucifer is circling his vessel (he looks at Sam). “And once he takes it, those hex bags won't be enough to protect you.”  Without warning he puts one hand on Dean’s chest, the other on Sam’s. They wince in pain and when they ask what he did, he says he carved an enochian sigil into their ribs which will hide them from every angel, including Lucifer.  

Sam asks if Cass was really dead and he responds yes.  Dean asks how he’s back.  But Castiel doesn’t answer.  He vanishes with a dramatic flap of wings, leaving Sam and Dean alone.  FFS Castiel, I thought we were done with this cryptic bullshit and flouncing off when you defected last season.

Back to Nick.  His dead wife is back though she tells him she’s Lucifer. He tells Nick he’s special.  There's very, very few people like you (true, until later seasons). Long scene short, Nick says yes to being Lucifer’s vessel.

Back to the hospital, Bobby who shouldn’t even be breathing, let alone speaking, is heard yelling from behind his closed hospital room door about being unlikely to walk again.  The door opens and a doctor runs out.  We see Sam and Dean leaning against the window.  Bobby’s in the bed, still yelling after the doctor “…Yeah, you better run!”  

Sam asks what they should do now.  Bobby says save as many as they can, but whoever wins, they’re boned.  Dean left fields with “What if we win?”   Bobby and Sam stare at him as Dean continues that he’s serious.  Screw them all.  "Hell, they want to fight a war, they can find their own planet. This one's ours, and I say they get the hell off it. We take 'em all on. We kill the devil. Hell, we even kill Michael if we have to. But we do it our own damn selves.”  Bobby questions how they are supposed to do that.  Dean responds: “I got no idea. But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell attitude, and I'll figure it out.”

Bobby looks at Sam who shrugs in response.  Dean pats Bobby on the shoulder and tells him to get better then heads for the door, Sam noticeably doesn’t go to Bobby, he follows Dean.  Bobby calls Sam and he stops. Bobby tells him, “I was awake. I know what I said back there. I just want you to know that...that was the demon talking. I ain't cutting you out, boy. Not ever.”

If only the episode had ended there, but no.  We see Dean and Sam walking across the parking lot. Sam’s enthusiastic after Dean’s rousing speech and suggests that maybe they go after the colt.  Dean asks what difference that would make.  

Sam: Well, we could use it on Lucifer. I mean, you just said back there—

Dean: I just said a bunch of crap for Bobby's benefit.  He stops and Sam also stops and looks at Dean as he continues, “I mean (laughs), I'll fight. I'll fight till the last man, but let's at least be honest. I mean, we don't stand a snowball's chance, and you know that. I mean, hell, you of all people know that.”  Dean walks around Sam to get past him.

Sam (heavy sigh):  Is there something you want to say to me?

Dean looks at Sam for a long moment: “I tried, Sammy. I mean, I really tried... 

Quickly looks to see where in the episode Dean “really tried”, but comes up with a bunch of emptiness.  [I need to remind people, I love Dean, I hate the narrative, in the same way in season 8, I’ll be saying I love Sam, I hate the narrative].

“...But I just can't keep pretending that everything's all right. Because it's not. And it's never going to be. You chose a demon over your own brother— (Sam rolls his eyes, as do I) —and look what happened.

Sam: I would give anything—anything—to take it all back.

Dean: I know you would. And I know how sorry you are. I do. But, man...you were the one that I depended on the most. And you let me down in ways that I can't even... Dean pauses, struggling for words:. I'm just—I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here. You know?

Sam asks what he can do.  And Dean says nothing.  That doesn’t surprise Sam. Dean continues: “I just don't...I don't think that we can ever be what we were. You know?” Again, Sam’s just nodding in agreement.  Dean: “I just don't think I can trust you. Sam looks up and we see that he wasn’t expecting this. Not sure why, as this was the whole problem of Season 4.  

The episode ends with Dean in baby and Sam standing in the parking lot.  

Up next, more heartache and brother angst in Good God y’all. 

[licoriceblackaliceangel]

February 1st is the day I made this blog!

First making this blog, I’ve said it plenty of times when it was brought up, but I never intended to do much with it.

I made it for the purpose of not flooding my main blog with bat/im stuff, and having the idea of answering asks for Alice if any came by. I was RPing as Alice with someone on discord for at least four months prior to this blog, and soon this blog delved more into an RP blog more than an ask blog.

I’ve made plenty of friends, have so many memories and a lot of growth through this blog. And despite some of the hard times I faced and forces and situations where I almost deleted a few times.. I don’t regret a thing.

SO.

I decided to make a little follow forever under the cut! A few people (Going back. A lot of people did. Oops.) will get some special shoutouts solely because I have a lot of thoughts, but if I don’t write something for you, don’t think you mean any less to me! If I forget anyone, my DEEPEST APOLOGIES. I have the memory of a gold fish and trying to remember everyone is. Hard.

But just know if we are mutuals I LOVE AND CHERISH YOU.

This also got a lot longer than I expected OOPS

@inkdrenchedsmile: Tea, I tell you everyday and talk to you almost everyday. I love and cherish you so so so much. You’re the sweetest, cutest, most darling thing ever. You are the brightest little marshmallow peep~ And I have so grateful everyday to have met you and be able to write with you. I love your writing and stories and your ideas and art and YOU ARE SO TALENTED! You mean the world to me. I love you, honeybun <3

@kalamxs: GIO. BOY YOu know I told you plenty of times you’re one of the reasons I even went to making this blog. I followed you before I even had the thought in my mind (I don’t remember why, maybe from your AWESOME ART and your writing and rping made me stay) because YOU ARE SO FUCKING GOOD!! I remember laughing all the time and sharing with my friends in my discord even though they don’t exactly understand BUT-- Man I’m so happy I got to actually. Interact with you! And get to befriend you and man YOUR ART GIVES ME LIFE. I love seeing all your stuff and writing and I LOVE WRITING WITH YOU. Bendo and Alice are absolutely adorable as well; fucking dorks. I LOVE YOU BABEY!! NEVER GONNA STOP LOVIN AND SUPPORTIN YOU!!

@bendicethedaughterofthedevil: NICK. You know I been with you since the MERE START. And I told you watching your growth and Bendice’s story was. WOO. Man I sometimes see the old Baby Shower art thing I did for the twin’s baby shower like.. Gonna be almost a year with that too. And just. :(.. THINGS WERE SIMPLER THEN.. I love you Nick, you’re talented and sweet and so so ambitious and strong and I LOVE YOU BABEY!!

@devilswinging: Veemo, I am so glad to have been able to meet ya and interact with you. I love ya man and I love writing with you and your muses. I love the small chit chats we have and seeing you on my dash. I love Alice’s relationship with Bebe and Sammy and just. Man!! You know, no matter what, if you ever feel down and feel like no one likes your boys, know I !! Will always love and appreciate them. <3 And Alice does too.

@instrumentsofcyanide: STELLLAAAAAAA. I fucking love you Stella. You’re so funny and sweet and the little messages back and forth sometimes and you coming in my DMs like: WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOUR ANONS all the time is. So funny. All the damn fiascos Oreo manages to produce and just. Oreo in general. Always gets me laughing and smiling. I love you and your boy so much?? You’re so fun and creative and silly and just an OVERALL JOY TO TALK AND BE AROUND WITH!!! I’m so glad to be able to interact and talk with you <3 (Never forget the first time I think you actually said anyhting to me was about that one Alice Blog Foot Pics Fiasco and I’ll never forget being like; Man someone I look up to and I’s first interaction is over saying ‘wow fuck this girl’ over guilting me for foot pics-- DOFIHJGFD)

@inkwise: AVI I LOVE YOU SM. DFKGJ. You’re so sweet and creative and your muses are an absolute joy. I especially have so many feelings. For Henry. So much. I love this man so much and I thank you and him everyday for my life. He needs a break. I love getting to write with you and seeing you on my dash is?? A fucking delight. Thank you. <3

@lxgner: ALICE YOU CREATIVE SWEET PERSON. You have so many damn muses and I APPLAUD YOU. Your OCs are all pretty sweet imo? The ones I seen. And the ambition you have to write and work on all this?? I applaud. I love your Joey muses esp and they’re so interesting and I love the thought you put into them all you know?? It’s interesting and really brings life into them. Your writing is delicious and your humor is. Great. I love writing with you <3 Keep your head up darling.

@one-eyed-twin: LADY V I LOVE YA SWEETHEART. Your muses are a delight and I love the little threads we’ve had, either it with Phiona, Clyde or Vlad (here and on my other blog) I love peaking at your threads and seeing your writing. You’re an absolute delight and I love?? Your creativity and your ART!! You truly are a person with impeccable tastes ~ Love seeing you on the dash, love <3

@inkyencounters: Glowbun you. Are really a sweetheart. So creative and funny, you really are kind and try to look out for everyone and it’s Very nice. I’m very appreciative of how kind ya are and the creativity you have with your muses and just. It’s very refreshing. Thank you for everything.

@sillymuses: Where do I begin. I love writing with you either with Charlie or on this blog, both here and my OC blog of course. You really have such a creative spin in your writing and really? Feel your characters and paint them so!! Amazingly. I love the back and forth between you and you’re honestly. Adorable. I love seeing you and your creativity hun <3

@inkmachine: GLOOMY I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE THINGS ARE/WILL GET BETTER SOON LOVIE. God it’s always a treat when you’re online and on the dash it’s. Always hilarious. I love seeing what Bendy fucking gets up to this time and he’s so?? Awesome. I love him a lot. The little bastard PFF. He’s absolute adorable and cute and I love the dark shit with him honestly. And him and Alice’s lil Candi adventures are always. Tooth rottingly sweet. I love ya hun. <3

@taakos-troupe-of-threads: I hope you know the phrase “Snap would fight Chalk Jesus for Alice’s honor” is a thing that will NEVER leave my mind and tends to cross it once a day. PFF. I love writing with you and seeing you on the dash as well! Snap is a fucking DOLL and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. (As does Alice, ofc) They’re absolutely adorable and poor girl is such a worrier PFF. Our DMs are always something funny as well, I think. I always know I’m in for something good when I see that fucking. Orange Danny Devito icon in my dms-- KSKJF

@dappcrdust: GLITTER!! Man. I remember first writing with you with your Bendy muse and honestly? Ever interaction from him to now has ALWAYS been a fun treat. I love your writing and love seeing you on and getting into whatever shenanigans that seem to pop up. Mostly with Angel it seems pfff.. Sweet Angel. I love what you have all done and cooked for him and his character he’s so?? three dimensional i love it. Him and Alice’s BFFship is honestly. Great and I love them SO MUCH. You’re creative and fun and just. A sweetheart. Love ya hun <3

@gamblxrhxsk: tbh I didn’t know what blog to @ YOU FUCKING MANIAC. Jk. I love you Echo. PFFF It’s funny to me that I feel I got closer with you via fucking. shit with CEO-Entity. LMAO. Echo where do I start. You are SO DAMN FUNNY. Like my GOD how many times have I laughed out loud to myself over some shit ya wrote and done?? Hell, even with your stuff with phil swift and entity and all that stuff got my SQUAD TO COME TO ME LAUGHING OVER IT!! I love also all your muses and the fact you got this whole arsenal and can?? Keep up with it for what it seems like. PROPS!! I love fucking around with you here and there and even though we don’t really write together too much (which, I would love to but I’m myself and even still lowkey anxious OIGJG) I just love putzing around and seeing you do your thing on the dash; from jokes to serious business. It’s always a treat. <3

@nctherchpter: Pai, I’m still lowkey so flattered you ever followed me back (and now mutuals with me on our mains like. WHAAA--) Your art is always. Bellissimo. Asriel was always a joy to see and honestly just. Stole my heart. I love him so much. Your writing is always a joy and man you just. Are skilled in The Arts(TM) Your self insert blog is also?? Awesome. I love the concept and idea and going through with a thing like? Honestly. Inspiration. All your self insert stuff really is just. Big big inspo. I’m so glad you seem to have? So much fun. Also I did say it in Nick’s stream many moons ago when they were going through BATIM again. Your voice is v cute <3

@clair-de-luna: WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH YOU!!! Man I remember following your main back for that SWEET MUFFETON ART. My cherished Muffeton mutual. And now here we both are with THIS. YOUR ART JUST CONTINUES TO INSPIRE AND GROW AND I LOVE!! SEEING IT!! And LUNA MELTS ALICE AND I’S HEART ALL THE TIME. God does she ADORE HER LITTLE STAR!! Ugh. I cry real tears. Always a delight to see you both here and your main. <3 I love ya DC!!

@lilithmagne: AC you. Are truly an artistic marvel. Your art is INCREDIBLE, your writing is BEAUTIFUL. And I love seeing you on my dashboard. You are so sweet and kind?? It’s so nice. I LOVE the love and work you put into Lilith and her story and your research and dedication? It’s amazing. Lilith is an absolute BEAUTY and God I LOVE HER. You do her SUCH A BEAUTIFUL JUSTICE!! So honored to be mutuals with you honestly. <3 Keep being amazing you beautiful person.

@lucifermagne: MARZI YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL. Working on all those HH icons for other rpers, working on your other RP blogs and pumping out that SWEET CONTENT. You are honestly a treasure. You are absolute sweet and a joy to see online. I love peaking at your threads and LOVE seeing your posts either for HCs or just IC shenanigans with Lucifer. You put so much through and care into your interpretation of him and I LOVE IT. He’s such a fun goof ball but at the same time presents himself as. THE KING OF HELL. Obviously. He’s an absolute Joy and just!! It’s amazing. We haven’t threaded together yet but even despite that?? I just love seeing you and him (and Alastor and Marx and the gang ofc) on the dash. Always a damn delight. <3

@thatscwewywabbit: we only just started interacting like. a week or so ago but AMANDA Man I have told you before how much I adore seeing you write for Bugs and how it’s ALWAYS SO FUN to see him and your posts for him on the dash. THE AMOUNT OF RESEARCH, CARE, LOVE, THOUGHT ALL PUT INTO HIM AND YOUR WRITING FOR HIM. It’s just so good. So refreshing. Ugh. MY CHILDHOOD!! It makes me so happy all the time. You really are. An inspiration. Writing with you and him is a DELIGHT and love peeking at your other threads just. It’s so nice. It’s almost uncanny how well you play him. My goodness! Keep being awesome lovely <3

@viennaxmuses​: Fuck you bitch. Yeah. You’re getting put here. Bitch. Fuck you. I LOVE YOU. BItch. You fucking fuck. You sweet cute funny fuck. You adorable loving supportive bitch. Ya uplifting comforting creative artistic thot. Fuck you.

Okay this went WAY LONGER THAN I INTENDED but sorry everyone else I didn’t write a lil blurb for. I wrote a lot and I STILL WANNA GIVE SHOUTOUTS CUS I LOVE!! ALL OF YOU!! Even non-mutuals like. I just wanna share all the love and appreciation I have here.

@hxllodolly @cvangclii @snxkeyes @ofinkdxmonsandxngels @brxkeninstrument / @butcherbrains @stupidcoffeeboy @strawberry-lemonade-muses @hazbinmuses @bornloscrs @black-jack-the-cat​ @bluescarfvivi @a-framed-rabbit​ @angelusvoce​ @ask-slender-and-gray​ @wrenchand-abone

[jcmorgenstern]

Same anon that asked for the headcanons that btw is the same anon asking for Jon’s virginity: My god I love your headcanons and yes I would fully enjoy more if you have the time. 💕

omg I still haven’t finished all the virginity asks ghakfjghg I hope those weren’t yours. also fair warning these will probably veer dangerously into Woobifying Territory because im that person and im gross.

Jonathan sleeps with approximately 4,792 blankets and finds the heat and weight comforting. He will absolutely turn up the AC to do so. Does that apartment have AC? It does now.

Has no concept of what amount of food is gross to eat, so will often sit on the couch and demolish an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting without feeling sick.

Val probably had a lot of physiology textbooks lying around the cabin due to his extremely unscientific “experiments” so uhh that’s where he got his sex ed. it’s just as bad as it sounds. From personal experience i can say physiology books are pretty terrifying.

He really hated Siberia because of how cold it was (as Sebastian you’ll notice he wears three or more layers even inside. dat bitch COLD). Edom probably has snow in some areas but Asmodeus and Lilith seem to live in an arid region.

God I actually have a really weird headcanon about how the courts of Edom work. So all the kids of the greater demons are considered princes of hell, but it’s a complex and fiercely competitive hierarchy for which child is most favored by their parent at the time and most in favor in the court overall. By virtue of being Lilith’s Only Miracle Half Angel Boy, Jonathan was not super popular with the other princes (I guess prince is a gender neutral term here??). Asmodeus’ kids are probably the best overall but like…..super Horny, Azazel’s kids fucking SUCK, Abbadon’s kids are all super depressed and torture people for fun, etc.

Enter: blonde kid with a bowl cut. It’s like fucking high school. it’s like percy jackson but in hell. it is literally and actually hell.

The courts of edom also occasionally get obsessed with human fads so sometimes it’s just like. 1800s Versailles! Ancient Greece! Lilith is constantly complaining Asmodeus won’t do Sumerian priestess and priest with her.

Most of the time in Edom after he learned to shapeshift Jonathan used the last self-image he remembered, which was him at ten. Lilith definitely thought he was cutest that way, though she was always kind of wistful he hadn’t turned out as an enormous dragon. Too chubby. Not enough claws. Definitely no fangs. Bit of a late bloomer with the wings.

Jonathan, as evidenced by the outfits he’s put together for 3b so far, has no ability to color coordinate at all. He may be slightly color blind. It’s tragic and still does not explain that scarf.

He killed a McDonald’s employee once for shortchanging him on fries. Not really the high point of self-control. Makes Rick and Morty fans look good and sane. He got a free drink refill out of it, though.

OH GOD how can I forget?? Ok so if vampires drinking angel blood confers resistance to sunlight, I’ve always wondered what drinking Jonathan’s blood would do. in the books Simon describes it as tasting like battery acid, but the vampires in COLS seem to drink it just fine. My personal onion is that it confers resistance to fire. Oh, the irony.

He did a shot of holy water on a dare. It didn’t do anything.

I also feel like he’d be pretty resistant to vampire venom/the werewolf demon virus or whatever it is. Like, he’s probably got more ichor or whatever than they do. fuckin up ur game

Seelies think he’s just a really weird fucked up seelie (but have to admit the ears are kind of cute in a sad sort of way) and GOD isn’t the lying hot and scandalous??

mmmmmmm the eyes black out during sexytimes

Maybe this is a weird one but I feel like even the image of Jonathan we see now (ie, Luke Baines) could be in part a projected or assumed image. We never saw him after he was reborn, and it doesn’t seem like it takes a lot of energy to hold a particular shape. Especially since after he was reborn he wouldn’t have any of the scars he had before like…losing his skin. So i imagine those could come and go depending on the Mood. Is this an excuse to keep in that goddamn cryptic “perils of obedience” line?? maybe. you can prove nothing.

Ohhh how could I forget a personal favorite? I really liked the idea that Valentine tried to rune Jace and Jonathan wayyyyy to early, and esp for Jonathan it . Did not go well. Like getting an angelic rune at like four (and ofc Valentine would go for Angelic Power first……..you know he would) when you have Pure Ass Demon Blood sounds…intense. If you’ve read the books you know how intense and angsty rune rejection can be. I fucking love it sorrynotsorry. Like I imagine how upset Valentine would be that his Brilliant Experiment didn’t go to plan and is rejecting the angelic blah blah blah you get the picture anyway angst and im here for it poor bby

Jonathan hates the taste of Earl Grey but transparently pretends to like it to impress Clary and she thinks he’s a fucking idiot.

Even though alcohol doesn’t have much of an effect he likes fruity drinks and straight vodka. Mostly the fruity drinks because they taste good hello?? but for some reason Clary keeps laughing and taking pictures of him?? rude.

I still maintain he had the ear pierced at Claire’s even thought i KNOW this fucking edgelord would do it himself i just need the image of this 20 something edgy fucking demon prince standing in line with a bunch of 8 year olds in princess dresses trying to figure out what “earring gun” could possibly mean. am i immature? yes but shut up

The whole “memorizing Paradise Lost” thing sounds all well and good until you know how fucking WORDY john milton is as a writer. He never shuts up. Also–and Miltonists are welcome to correct me–the Michael/Lucifer bond is bullshit, by the way. and honestly if either jace or jonathan had that book memorized lbr they’d never fucking shut up.

This is also the show that had Aldertree look up from casually reading Art of War at his desk so maybe I ask too much.

The COLS vampire kink is very real dont @ me

Has never received a birthday card (except one three months late from Sebastian’s aunt Elodie strongly implying Sebastian should stop fostering cats and start getting a girlfriend).

okay imma stop there while im still ahead because it is Late and that is a Lot. i hope you enjoy though, friend!!!

[megaera-of-pigeon]

“And what’ll you have now, lass?”

Ace turned to see that she’d been joined by a pretty young woman with long, wavy blonde hair. A number of star shaped jewels shone in her hair and on her frilly purple dress, which hinted at the girl’s preference for Lilith style.

“Oh, um, I’m really not sure—this is a pub, right? I suppose I should have a drink, then. What do you have that’s fruity?”

Ace tilted her head. The girl was a tad frazzled and confused, but she seemed harmless enough; And if there was one thing that never failed to get her mind off her troubles, it was talking to a pretty girl. As the bartender explained that the best he could do was some hard cider, Ace adjusted her hat and pushed some stray hairs behind her ear, and then pulled on her cloak to straighten it out. When the man turned to fetch her drink, Ace cleared her throat to capture the girl’s attention.

She turned, and Ace was startled by the largest, bluest pair of eyes she’d ever seen. Goddess, they were like cut sapphires! Before she could remember how her smooth introduction was supposed to go, the strange girl tilted her head and smiled softly.

“Oh, hello there! Are you who I’m supposed to be meeting?”

Ace felt her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Had she inadvertently interrupted some sort of blind date? She hadn’t meant to do that! Trying to backtrack, she shook her head, stammering out, “oh, no, I’m sorry—I mistook you for someone else!”

The girl’s face fell, and Ace was suddenly wishing she could be what this girl was looking for, if only to put a smile back on her face. “Really? That’s a shame. I must have misread the signs…” Her expression turned dark as she muttered, “stupid Astrolabe! I can’t believe it’s gotten me lost again!”

[saleintothe90s]

353. The final Cheers (May 20, 1993)

When I was little, I was mildly obsessed with Cheers. I watched it with my parents almost every day in syndication, before the news. I had the expanded TV Guide cover for the series finale on my wall above my bed the week this episode aired. Where they’re all trying to figure out Norm’s bar tab. 

Right before I graduated from Mary Baldwin in 2010, I found a tape at the local library book sale, it was unlabeled. It just had the clip show and the finale on it, recorded off the NBC station in nearby Charlottesville, Virginia. I thought I accidentally got rid of the tape, until I found it again recently:

I uploaded the entire clip show and finale with commercials intact, in 13 parts, because that’s all Streamable allows are 10 minute clips. Although yes you can watch the finale on dailymotion, isn’t it more fun with the commercials? You get that real right before the Summer of 1993 feeling. 

(1 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) 

*note, i’ve been told by my readers that streamable doesn’t work on mobile. I am so sorry about that. for some reason dailymotion doesn’t work for me anymore when I try to upload ?? Anybody else having this problem ?? Multiple question marks. 

Four things about the clip show:

1. I am absolutely dead at the scene with Fraiser and his ivy vest, trying to Cliff Note Dickens with the gang. 

2.  Only Diane would wear giant shoulder pads, a suit, and a lace blouse with a collar almost up to her chin to her (almost) wedding to Sam.

3. Sam has grey hair behind the scenes at rehearsal, but you can tell in the makeup chair that they cover it up. Maybe with the stuff Doris used on Jay Sherman in the first episode of The Critic:

4. At the end, Bob Costas says, “CRANK UP THE VCR, THIS SHOULD BE A KEEPER!” 

Notes for the episode

1. The crowd at the bar is watching the Cable Ace Awards. That was a thing back then, cable shows had its own award show because the Emmys didn’t recognize them -- the awards would be discontinued in 1997. The boys were looking for for Kim Alexis, but instead Diane won a Cable Ace! 

2. “Oh, yes, the beginning of your political career. It started out as a small joke and turned into an enormous one.” - Frasier on Woody being elected to city council. 

3. Rebecca is wearing about 50 yards of fabric. As we all did in 1993.

4. The first episode of cheers began with Champagne, (Diane and her Professor’s botched engagement)  and the last episode of Cheers begins with Champagne (Rebecca and Don’s botched engagement). 

5. The shot when Diane calls Sam looks like it was filmed six states away.

6. Carla’s major freakout when Diane enters Cheers. 

7. I forgot that Diane and Woody knew each other, but they shared about 1 1/2 years together on the show.

8. The scene where Diane and Sam, and their faux spouses eat at Melville’s upstairs was so strange to me when I originally saw this when I was 9. Was this the only time we saw the inside of Melvilles?! I just remember it being so PINK. Rebecca finally said yes to Don, btw.

9. Binging with Babish needs to make the dessert Sam describes to Diane:

You know, it's just that they, uh, they have this great dessert here, but you have to order it for two.

What kind of dessert is it? Well, they start with ice cream.

I love ice cream.

Oh, no, but this is the best ice cream.

It's sweet, rich, creamy.

What do they do to it? Cover it with lots and lots of thick raspberry sauce all over.

All over? They can't stop themselves.

Sounds so sinful.

There's more.

More? What more could they do? Well, they heat up the raspberry sauce.

How hot do they get it? How hot would you like it?

10. Aw, Woody got Norm a job with the City of Boston. 

11. Hanger-oner Paul is in this episode way too much. Paul looks kinda duck-like to me.

12. Sam, ain’t noone curr that you and Diane are getting married. It’s bizarre that Sam would just walk away from Cheers like that so suddenly. 

13. Diane: The screenplay for which I was so extravagantly honored was based on your life. 

Carla: You were my inspiration. Really? 

Diane: Yes.It's the story of a resilient, hard working mother, bucking all odds to raise her six children.

Carla: Six? I got eight.

Diane: Good God! You breed like a fly! 

Carla: Well, uh, this movie- people liked it? 

Daine: They loved it, Carla.People were inspired by the plight of my heroine.

Carla: Yeah? Well, what happens to me? I mean, you know, to her, in the end.

Diane: Well out of the despair and frustration of her unmanageable life, she goes berserk and takes out a few people with an Uzi.

14. Sam and Diane’s airplane seats are gigantic. Sam is manspreading big time here.

15. Does Carla have BABY EARRINGS?! WE NEED CARLA BABY EARRINGS RIGHT NOW. SOMEONE PUT THEM ON ETSY. 

16. Norm: Gonna go home to Vera.

Sam: Vera? 

Norm: My wife.Maybe you remember her? That is her name, isn't it? See ya

17. Sam: Doc, help me out here, man. You want a fine cigar? Huh? 

Frasier: I'd love to, Sam, but Lilith just called and she wants me to bring home Chinese tonight.I I hope she meant the food.She's been really weird lately and you know...

Speaking of Lilith, I wonder why she wasn’t in the final episode.

18.  Aw, the sweetest scene is everybody coming back after pretending to be mad at Sam. 

19. Rebecca’s outfit. She got married in that.

20. “Know what, Sammy, I love that stool! If there's a heaven, I don't want to go there unless my stool is waiting for me.”

21. I watched this with my parents when I was 9, when Sam said, “Sorry! We’re closed!”,  9 year old me began bawling. My mom took me to bed that night, and I was still crying, and she was like, “Cheers will still be on tv!” 

Commercial notes

(for comparison, here are WICD’s commercials from Illinois.)

The Bud commercial with the guys rescuing the baby cows!

Ambush in Waco was a TV movie that was put together just a month after the Waco standoff ended. Tim Daly from Wings played David Koresh! 

Mad About You ran a very special commercial where they watch Cheers, but Paul insists that he has never heard the Cheers theme song. Mad About You came on on Saturdays back in 1993!

There was a promo for the final episode of Saved by the Bell, and the first episode of the college years. Why do the boys look SO much older from the last episode of SBTB to the first episode of College Years? SBTB fans, help.

The reporter in the Channel 29 news report calls President Clinton “Mr. Clinton”... Mister? Look at that janky set. A faux plant and a broken computer.

Just like the Waco movie, there was a movie about Hurricane Andrew, which happened the previous Summer. I’m sure the people whose neighborhoods were blown away by Andrew really appreciated it. 

“THE STARS ARE BACK ON NBC!!” “HEY! I NEVER LEFT!” Oh, yall know that Frasier’s dad, John Maroney was a guest on Cheers?

Oh god, Jay and Branford Marsalis. They didn’t get along. I found the entire Tonight Show episode on YouTube, where everybody gets drunk.

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I want to thank everybody for all the notes I got on this post.