#i was doing trainings all day for my job
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barbie music ? on . writing mode ? activated .
#°̥࿐ → ooc / ❛ cutely breaks salad bowl ❜#i was doing trainings all day for my job#but i am here now
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Ough guys I'm hopping on the train in less than 2 days to move to a new city this is sooo fucked up what do you meannnn
#I mean I'm excited ofc but it's bittersweet#gonna miss my city and friends and family (AND CAT AAAGGHH)#But! Very excited to have my own place (and I dare say it's a pretty spiffy place)#But idk it's just such a Weird feeling like I haven't been able to fully process it yet#Thank goodness I've already started this job remotely so it won't be *entirely* new#But also fuck them for requiring me to move but literally not allotting me any time to do it!#👉👈 which yeah I've been kinda shy to mention it outright ig out of this weird imposter syndrome/paranoia-#that I'll get the rug pulled out from under me but- a bit over a month ago I started working in aerospace as a systems engineer :]#But don't ask me what that means cause I'm not entirely sure either yet dndjkdkd#😮💨 but yeah so finding a place and setting up power and insurance and packing and all that has been A LOT#On top of the job itself of course#And well Friday's the big day! Mm... And then a 22 hour train ride haha#(Which is okay I like the train a got a sleeper cabin 🙂↕️)#But- well I'm really just talking to talk now djdkkdkd but hey gotta keep the gay people in my phone informed!#Aaaand post
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Girl help I wish to travel to different dimensions just to watch a movie/show I really like a little to the left
#years of dreaming on it#OR WHEN A SHOW IS CANCELLED LIKE FUCK YOU#give me me ending even if i have to rip it out if the multiverse hands#but sometimes i just wanna see more of characters interacting together just give me uncut 50 hours version of them#rn it's#deadpool and wolverine#and i wanna know#final space#ending already#and a better#supernatural#ending. and my cancelled gems like#infinity train#inside job#the midnight gospel#lego monkie kid#BUT FRAME MY FRAME FLYING BARK I MISS YOU SO MUCH BBY PLEASE COME HOME wb did a good job but my obsessed ass want eye candy lego animation#our flag means death#I WOULD GIVE MY BLOOD FOR THAT SEASON 3 THEY WERE SO STUPID AND UNFAIR TO CHANCEL IT#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#BELOVED BELOVED BELOVED come backkk mm and you can coexist#oh and let's not forget. what the world would look like if the trollhunters movie didn't SUCK ASS horrible movie -7383/10 DELETE#i can go on all day i have been done wrong by many cancelled shows😭#neh what's up with everyone doing multiverse🙄 don't they know i was making these stuff up since ehh before spiderverse came out forsure🙄🙄#/j#but I really didnit was like my go to plot for falling asleep i hade self insert lore and universal police and empty space and cool shit
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Just remember, kids: most of the time, stupid is how you feel, not who you are.
#me trying to drill this into my own head as i go through protracted training for my new job#also on this list of reminders for myself: phone calls can't actually hurt you. the people are very far away. what are they gonna do?#come charging up from another state to bite my goddamn ankles?#been a little peevish this week because 1) i was flat-out lied to in the interview about how much client contact i would have#(turns out: it's daily not 'oh it's occasional')#and also 2) this job is SO high stress? and has SO many moving parts? and no one seems to be on the same page at all??? and they change shi#basically every other day so you can never pin things down????#so i feel incredibly stupid basically all the time lately until i get to go home#at which point my brain is so burnt from cosplaying as a cheerful human being all day that i can barely function#much less write or read or do what i want to do#so! i feel stupid! all the time! deeply deeply stupid!#but it's just a feeling#and not a reality#and boy howdy do i need to drill that into my brain
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Sekaiichi hatsukoi is so much fun bc the tyrannical boss who takes their job way too seriously and the new employee who doesn’t know a damn thing is such a relatable concept and you can plop the entire cast into whatever au you want and it would still work just as well
#sekaiichi hatsukoi#I spent my last shift trying to put the characters into a lab work au and it still worked#Ritsu as the son of a hospitals ceo who got a cushy day shift job in microbiology at his dads hospital fresh out of lab school#he loves it and he’s good at it but he overhears the nighshifters talking shit abt how good he has it and that he doesn’t have to work that#hard bc micro is slow-paced and honestly it’s usually the same species of bacteria so it isn’t that hard to identify the species#so he quits and gets a job at a rival hospital but he’s put into a 2nd shift blood bank position despite never having worked in it#takano is the lead tech who comes down hard on anyone who makes mistakes bc this is literal life or death#it’s not just streaking plates and doing fun little biochemistry tests then putting the sample into the crispr to verify#the most advanced technology they have in bb is the cell washer. convenient but not as helpful#his first few days there are just back to back massive transfusion protocols and he genuinely wants to crawl into a hole and die#things calm down after his first week but it’s a huge learning curve and no one has the patience or the time to properly train him#emerald can all be blood bank specialists. Yokozawa is the head of histology.#having trouble finding roles for everyone else#kirishima could be a pathologist and Yukina could be a receptionist at a medical office while he goes to phlebotomy school(?)#or nursing school. something like that
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i only cried once today after being yelled at/scolded for two hours straight!!!!! i would like my hug and pat on the head for being so good now please!!!!!!!
#technically i did cry one more time when i got home lmao#but like IT WAS MY FIRST DAY#AND MY FIRST DAY DOING ALL THESE THINGS#and i kept getting scolded for not knowing how to do stuff when it was a) literally my first time#and b) the person who was upset with me was SUPPOSED TO TRAIN ME#BUT THEY DIDNT#instead they just kept saying ‘you’re doing that wrong’#without ever showing me how to do it right#:(( like it’s your job to teach me!!!!#also they ignored me the entire morning like literally didn’t introduce themself or even say hi#and i am a VERY like outgoing/bubbly person irl#but i also need positive feedback or i will crumble to pieces#and i hate being made to feel stupid when i wasn’t taught something#like if you show me how to do it ill do it perfect the next time!!!#but expecting me to know something without being taught is impossible and setting us both up for failure#bleh sorry for ranting :(( bad day for quinn lmao#anyways i’m gonna eat some chocolate and do some homework and think about kissing gojo and maybe things will be better#i am accepting hugs and pats on the head though#because i was very brave (didn’t audibly cry in front of others)#q speaks
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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last night i dreamt of my mom ,,, i miss her a lot. it was nice to see her again
#today is her death anniversary... it still doesn't feel real#im rlly frustrated how my job decided to do the training today of all days#when all i want to do is just rest and stay inside <- depression#but i suppose i can't pick and choose now#at least i'll be fine ....#haku rambles#family death mention#family death tw
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joined a local choir and ah, singing with other people is just so fun and nice and beautiful <3
#hope i can still find time for this when i'll eventually be employed again;;;#being unemployed has been so good for my hobbies and social life and it's been so nice;;;#im split inbetween “i should put more effort into finding a new job” and “i should enjoy this time and invest in myself instead of rushing#back to work which will take away the majority of my free time again. we only live as short as we do after all“#anyways! yay! choir!! the last time i sang in a choir is over 4 years ago and still in highschool and we were like. 6 people.#and now we are so many more and we sing songs that i like more and ahhh#im. so socially awkward. sometimes. but singing (with others) always makes me feel at ease#next weekend we'll have some kind of training camp (i feel like in a sports anime lmao) so i wont be as active during that time i guess!!#im looking forward to it so much <3 but. not so much to leaving the house at 7am for three days in a row bc. im not a 7am person;;#chroms ramblings
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I think I’m starting to burn out
#worked alottt yesterday and did a shit job giving a little presentation to parents and families for curriculum night#didn’t get home til after 8 from the school#teacher development day today so all the teachers get time to prep but as the art teacher I’m forced to work childcare/babysit all day#not like I need to prep lessons it’s fine#and then I go to my second job 9-2am tonight#I can’t wait to sleep all fucking day tomorrow and have a little self care weekend#was so excited to have Monday off too but now my second job wants me to come in to do a narcan and de-escalation training so#I’m just so tired#mine
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"i hope you guys have so much fun and dont get lost and never come back" TIDE
#my post#this version of tide is so funny to me. hes doing his job but he is not entirely happy about having to babysit#like he was Assigned this someone walked up to him one day and went 'btw ur training a bunch of teenagers ^_^' and left him#he tells them hes proud of them and makes them dinner but also goes 'i dont have time to make you dinner all the time do it yourself' and i#generally irresponsible. tells them to get lost and only slighly veiledly complains about them in front of them ToT#s2 tide would DIE if he met early s1 tide#hes so funny like this though <3 who the fuck decided he was qualified for this
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Imma be honest with you chief this week has not been fun. At all
#oh boy i had a terrible three days time to go tell my tumblr followers about it!#ah no but jokes aside y'all.#i started my job on monday and i actually like it so far!#i haven't done any actual work or anything quite yet cause its all onboarding at the moment#but so far so good! all my colleges are lovely#so you might ask why is this one of the worst weeks of my life? two words#FOOD. POISONING.#this shit is straight up EVIL#im doing better today thank god but yesterday??? omfg#“look im being uber dramatic here but when am i not to be fair”#But seriously#ill try not to go into too much detail but. 10 hrs. yeah.#my throat feels like someone has shoved a metal ball down it#i havent eaten anything today#and I'm missing two days of training over this 😭#this is so embarrassing first week on the job and boom food poisoning knocks me out for two of them#im gonna be the food poisoning guy 😭#i hope y'all are having a better time than i am
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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.
#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks#but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand#and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot#so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck#it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits#but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen#or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing#you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks#i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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Good news: after a lot of weeks, my air conditioner is fixed!! Also good news: I caught an error in the software at work that was impacting both contractor pay and customer invoicing! Bad news: going through large amounts of data loosely falls under the purview of the department I am now sort of in charge of, which meant my department (which is me and two other people) had to individually open every single order from [specific subset of customers] since the beginning of the year to manually check if either error had occurred. Hundreds of orders, even with a few different criteria we could use to narrow it down. It's done though! I mean the error is not fixed but previous instances of it causing problems are caught and now that we know it exists we can catch future problems before they are invoiced/paid out I have done zero crafting today and I honestly doubt I will get any done lol
#the person behind the yarn#tj talks about work#I am sort of in charge of a department now?#that department is basically data entry/admin#in that my previous job title used to handle contractors and contractor paperwork#but they were not doing as much scheduling because so much time was spent on paperwork#so as a trial run they had me take over doing all the paperwork for two other [job title] as well as my own#which is not hard for me. I've been processing this exact kind of paperwork at one job or another for over a decade#and that helped a lot so they switched things around gave me less contractors#and hired two more people to handle paperwork and a few other data crunch-y office tasks#and I trained them both? and have the ability to assign them tasks and declare things to be part of my department's job#so I am sort of de facto the head of our little department#which is very funny to me because in my previous job a few years back I was the head of the bookkeeping department#because the entire department was me#it was a difficult department to keep on task but I managed lol#more seriously the two people with me in the paperwork department now are absolutely great#they are super nice and we work really well together#we had a conference call between the three of us with a screenshare while I figured out how to fix one of their IT problems#unrelated to the other problem I caught later in the day
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