#i was doing that from 10-15 years old
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i wish my hearing wasn't so damn sensitive. i have white noise playing loud af when i go to bed so I won't hear anything else. the power went out twice last night which of course shut off the white noise. first i woke up to the sound of my cat chewing, the 2nd time I woke up to someone walking on the other side of the house. why does autism/misophonia have to do that omg
on the bright side having sensitive hearing isn't all that bad bc when i listen to music i can pick out every single instrument's part and learn how to play every part on every instrument i own so that's an autism win for sure. we have a badass electric piano from 1989 that lets you record multiple tracks at once. so when I was in band, I'd learn every instrument's part, record each of them, play them all at once, then practice my part on my instrument (viola, clarinet, bass clarinet, saxophone) along with it. like i said. autism for the win. sometimes
#i was doing that from 10-15 years old#quit band at 15 because 1. our band teacher tried to kill us (had to have an ambulance come for several students during a heat wave)#and 2. they wanted $350 for band fees and my parents couldn't afford it#my grandma bought that piano for $3000 in 1989 dollars which is $7628.25 in today's money#i don't even know how SHE afforded that. it was right after my grandpa died so maybe life insurance or something like that?#it's the most expensive item we've ever owned for sure other than cars#.bdo
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Kids being kids
#gopher art#mortal kombat#kontradictions mk#mk subzero#mk smoke#kuai liang#bihan#tomas vrbada#genderbend#r63#the sketch of baby kuai and bihan is based on a moment from ch14 of my fic (but the truth is worse)#at least i think its 14. its starting to blur together for me#kuai is 5 and bi-han is 9; almost 10. Kuai's shitty haircut is based on a haircut i gave myself around that same age#aka the reason my mom didn't let me use scissors for until i was legitimately 10 years old. no i am not kidding#in the second picture kuai is 15 and tomas is 17 almost 18. this is very shortly before kuai is scarred#i still have no fucking clue what the lin kuei uniforms are about. does everyone wear blue? just the bros? why do some of them get to wear#A Special Color and some dont? is it a rank thing?#anyway i think uniform is based on rank. and thats why the tiny cryosibs are wearing such different looking uniforms
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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
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It's kind of wild to me how in these old Christopher Lee pics, he's so LONG, he doesn't fit in the photo, it takes forever to scroll down, but in the younger pics, he's early in his post WWII "had malaria literally 7 times" era so if he's photographed sideways, he just ....disappears
#this was supposed to be a post about how hard it must be to draw Christopher Lee-looking Dooku with his impossible proportions#and how my artist mutuals are INCREDIBLE for pulling this off#I mean 75% legs 10% spider fingers -5% torso 15% why does his hair do that 20% left arm#but then I made myself sad thinking about like 24 year old Christopher Lee being so skinny from wwII
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i’m gonna be so real i’m . considering dropping a little coin for sethos....
#PROBABLY ONLY LIKE 10 OR 15 BUCKS BC I DO STILL HAVE SOME STORY&HANGOUT QUESTS TO DO WHICH WILL GET ME FUNDS BUT ATILL....#i also need to log into my acc somehow on a pc to claim my coda shop shit....i had dropped 50 for arel’s weapon but. did not realize that#codashop topups do not apply to console acounts . which like u could’ve made that#clear from the beginning instead of hiding it in a 2 year old tab at the very back of the help section on the website 😭😭#shouting in the void
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your first love hits different
#another day another vent-in-the-tags post#i came across a picture of me and my fiest boyfriend of five years today. picture must've been 10 years old at this point#found many more pictures of him and us on my dad's old pc#i can just feel my body pull and heart ache when i look at him in the pictures#wondering what my life would've looked like if i hadn't broken things off between us#we tried to stay friends and a couple of months later we went for a drink. when daying goodbye he moved in to kiss me#i was hesitant and stepped away. he couldn't bare having me in his life while not being together so he cut off all contact#don't get me wrong in any of my thoughts- i love babe whole heartedly and he's the only man for me now and in my future#it's just that nagging feeling burried deep. the 'what if's. what if i felt more confident about my body back then?#what if i hadn't moved on so quickly? what if i had let him kiss me?#i tried texting him telling him i was approved for gbp surgery (i broke things off because i was very insecure about my body)#he congratulated me and sincerely wished me all the happiness in the world but also asked me not to contact him again after this#it's been 7-ish years but every now and then i wonder how he's doing and what he's up to#he doesn't really have social media apart from facebook (and that page is private) and i only stayed in touch with his former best friend#but i'm not gonna ask him because i know they haven't spoken in years either#i've had plenty more relationships after him but i rarely ever think about those guys#am i okay? is this normal? lol#i should get my head out of this rabbit hole asap#add: the picture is almost 15 years old lol. my math ain't mathing. we met in 2009. not that it's important#i think i just moved on too quickly and didn't allow myself time & space to grieve. that's why he keeps popping up in my thoughts now & then
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Random fact about me: I have this group of old fancharacters from a particular franchise from that I just sort of... implant into different properties when I’m bored and need something to daydream about. It’s very odd to have this expanded universe going on in my head that only I know about, like I don’t write anything down about them or even draw them much but I sure am invested in them. They’re like a potluck in my head, where I just throw whatever ingredients I happen to be interested in at the time into their little universe. Right now it’s pokemon.
#I don't really know what to do with this information#I feel like I should write more of it down because it's gotten very complicated#and I KNOW I forget the details of these things after a couple years when it's fun to remember them#bored badgering#at this point they've devolved from a fanclan fro WC into like... a pokemon/redwall crossover#built on that fun idea going around the fandom a few years ago of like 'what if only 10% of the current clan cats were left'#like a plague or a terrible battle#so I wittled my original fanclan down to about 15% and for funsies threw them in with a bunch of old redwall OCs I also had#and just let them bounce off each other in my head when I'm bored#lately I've thrown pokemon into the mix cause... idk why not
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aauauauuougghghs i need to move out 👁👁
^^^ [CHEC IT OUT] i need to move out moodboard (available now !!!(
#99.txt#my mom is like ''you seem upset with mee :('' yeah cos straight up like i think i just hate u now#when i got covid it was MY problem i stayed in my room. i wore a mask any time i left. i even wore gloves to the kitchen.#to make sure she didnt get it (and she didnt !!!) and i even cleaned the whole house while i had it lol. and still kept it away from her#so now that she has it guess what !!!!!!!!!!!! everyone guess what !!!! its STILL my problem !!!#i stay in my room ! i use the basement toilet !! i have to wear a mask outside my room at all times !!#and wash my hands so much im gettin rashes because she just goes around doing whatever touching whatever ?#coughing on whatever because she doesnt give a shit !!!!#i made it my mission when i had it to keep her safe#and now that she has it its ''well if you wanna keep safe thats your responsibility'' like ???????#i promise you the thought of making space for another person & accommodating or compromising has never occoured to her once#its all ''well its up to you !!! good luck !!!!!'' yeah fuck me i guess#and she keeps bothering me asking me to help her with shit still !!!!!!!!!!!#''how do i find my documents on the computer ive had for 10 years :('' are you stupid ?????? are you dumb for real ???????#and she puts me in the situation where. im busy clearly busy with my own shit#but she feels SO entitled to my time that she will just insist that i drop everything and do something for her#if i say no or have a slightly unenthusiastic response its ''oh youre SO mean to me youre SO mean. no one will want you :('' ...ok.#but if i ask for help from my own mother once in a while its ''wow you ask so much of me you know youre not a child anymore :\\\''#yeah. i know. i dont think ive been helped with anything by a parent since i was like 15 years old#''why are you mad at me ven you seem mad at me :('' yeah . i think like you just kinda fucking suck
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Why are British teenage girls so unhappy? Here’s the answer (Caitlin Moran, The Times, Sep 13 2024)
"The report, by the Children’s Society, found that British 15-year-old girls are the most unhappy in Europe.
British girls aged 10-15 are “significantly less happy” with their life, appearance, family and school than the average boy — and their happiness is still declining.
Boys’ life satisfaction, meanwhile, remains broadly stable. (…)
But I still didn’t have an “aha!” moment about why this so disproportionately affects girls until… I talked to some teenage girls.
It was at a party, and I went to vape with them on the patio. Because I take my nicotine like children do.
“Duh — it’s the boys,” one said when I brought it up, as all the others agreed.
“The boys?” I asked.
My last book, What About Men?, had been all about how much boys struggle these days: their loneliness; their suicide rates. I’d spent the past year feeling very sympathetic towards boys.
“Yeah, well, who do you think they’re taking out their unhappiness on? It’s us,” another girl said.
“One boy at school used to draw a picture every day of how ugly I was,” a third girl said. “Every day for two years.”
“They’ve all got ‘Rate The Girls’ polls on their WhatsApps,” the first said. “They mark you down for weight gain, haircuts, what you say.”
“But then, if you’re hot, it’s just as bad, in a different way, because they’ll be talking about how they want to f*** you.”
The girls discussed coping techniques. Bad news: none of them worked.
“The only way you can stop them is if you become ‘one of the boys’ and hang out with them. But then,” the second girl said with a sigh, “all the other girls call you a slut. Because you’ve gone over to the boys’ side.”
“Surely it’s not all the boys?” I said. “There must be some nice boys?”
“Oh, yeah,” one girl said. “But they keep their heads down. Because… well, look.”
She showed me the Instagram account of her friend. Under every picture she posted of herself — smiling in a new dress; with her dog — dozens of anonymous accounts had replied with the most rank abuse.
“Fat.” “Slut.” “You gonna try and kill yourself again, for attention?”
“They’re all boys from her school,” she said. “And look, this one boy tried to defend her.”
I saw a series of messages from a brave teenage boy, posting things like, “You’re all big men, leaving these replies under anonymous accounts.”
As I could see, this boy immediately became a target too. Mainly accusations that he was “white knighting” this girl: “You wanna f*** her, bro?”
“So,” I asked, “you don’t think it’s social media pressure to be beautiful, or the economy, that’s making girls so sad?”
“Well, yeah, them too,” the first girl said. “But, Monday-Friday, 9-3, I’m not on social media. I’m not… in the economy. I’m just with these boys. And no one talks about how horrible they are.”
I thought about another recent report, showing a 30 per cent ideological gap between Gen Z men, who are increasingly conservative, and Gen Z women, who are increasingly progressive.
I thought about Andrew Tate, who has nine million mostly young male followers — and faces human trafficking charges, which he denies.
And I thought: maybe these girls are on to something. Maybe more people need to vape with teenage girls and ask them for the school gossip."
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thinking mans valorant u may have committed the sin of being british but u ARE covering gamechangers. i suppose i can forgive u a little bit <3
#he actually said something yesterday that really got to me#he said to a viewer that realistically he doesn’t think any GC players will make it to tier 1 VCT#at least not right now. given the circumstances#but 10 years from now some kid might make it because they watched these women play#and thought ‘i can do that too’#anyway EYE think we’re closer to gender parity than people realise. in terms of gamer talent or whatever the fuck — but TMV is right#to talk about the systemic barriers to entry. he wouldn’t say the word but there’s likely deep rooted misogyny in the scene#i’d like to think it’ll be less than 10 years. i like to think it’s closer to 3. that the next superstar is some 15 year old rn#watching valorant streamers and the gamechangers tournament#but. esports being the way it is. who fucking knows right?#vct game changers#valorant champions tour#puckgaming
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That Audi is over 30 years old???
#really just means it's probably from the early 90's but like???#the h on german license plates are great. because sometimes a car and it's apparently over 30 years old#and now you're realizing your perception of an old car is very different from reality#possibly only the case if your father has been a car dealer since before you were a toddler#like. what do you mean cars i. a 24 year old. have seen so often as a small child. are over 30 years old?#cars that were already 10-15 years old when i was a child? imagine that#-guntram
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desktop part is untrue 👹 not to be that gen z sorry
this can't be true can it
#i mean i’m older than 15 so it doesn’t matter but i still think that estimate is too old#it’s more like pre covid / post covid#my old elementary school only got rid of their computer lab with desktops during covid#bc the state had grants for laptops so the kids could do online scjool#so in general it’s more of a gen z and gen alpha split#gen alpha is so fucked up lmao i’m genuinely scared for 10-20 years from now
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The kids I teach think I’m magic because I have a puzzle ring that falls apart when I take it off but stays together when I wear it. It’s just very sweet.
#one of them wrote a story for English class with me as the main character because of it#I had a rabbit sidekick and was the lost child of the queen#I also one time called the robot tattoo behind my ear my lucky robot that keeps me safe#and they’ve developed a whole mythos around how all of my tattoos give me powers.#(the actual reason the robot keeps me safe is cause he reminds me it’s okay to stop masking and sink back into my natural roboticness)#he’s my ward against autistic burnout)#like. I just love the way kids think.#anyway it was our end of year show today and my two little baby classes did me really proud and I might have cried a little#they’re the first time I’ve had a full class on my own that I’ve not shared with other teachers#and this year has just…it’s been a fascinating learning curve and yeah#my boss was like ‘watching you today with them made me somewhat envious of the rapport you’ve managed to develop with them and how well they#respond and interact with you’ and I’m looking at this guy that I’ve looked up to for over 15 years now like? that’s what I’ve always been#envious of you over like every single kid you teach loves you. and like we just had a really good conversation about the different dynamics#yeah I just needed to ramble cause it’s half three in the morning and I’ve only just got home and my little ones were so good!#like! uhhhh they’ve had a really difficult year for various reasons and we’ve hit so many roadblocks but they went out today and danced#their little hearts out.#my ballet group also showed up and actually performed my choreo properly for the first time ever. with technique!#do they do that in class? never seen it. but they were so good. ahhhhhh.#also the group that I perform with had our final performance as a group after dancing together in one configuration or another for ten years#and it was kind of emotional and there were lots of hugs and tears.#and it’s wild because I’ve seen these kids grow from 9-10 year olds to like…nearly adults and I’m just like…I’m so proud of you guys#they’re all going off into the world to be awesome
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many of us do. it's difficult not to succumb to the feeling of not being able to do something and being completely helpless. and while it's true that individually none of us can change the world, we do have the power together to make an impact, especially on the lives of individual people around us.
instead of succumbing to feelings of doom and despair about the election, the climate, or any other ongoing crises, please consider donating to ibrahim. that is a real way to have a real impact on someone's life.
ibrahim is only 15 and is trying to raise funds to not just help him and his family escape the genocide, but also to survive in the current conditions. he has been displaced and exposed to countless horrors time and time again. the least we can do is attempt to help him.
please, if you can: match my donation of €10. if you can't spare that, spare €5 or even €1. if you really have nothing to give, share this post. don't turn away from suffering. this is your chance to do something.
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You're more amazing than backflips
Made my 2nd Miitopia party! Jamie is now a Scientist and is joined by Natrin the Warrior, Fimishec the Imp, and Beacon the Chef
#asks#natrin is an old character inspired by the dnd rulebook saying that 3 year old dragonborn are as mature as 10 year old humans#then their relative maturity rate slows way down and it takes them until age 15 to be considered adults#and i was like “huh that's weird why'd they do that?” and then i realized that if they kept up that aging rate#then you'd have adult dragonborn that are 6 years old and that sounds Weird so they probably wanted to avoid the squickiness of that#what with bards and all#but anyway that got me thinking about dragonborn ages and so i decided to make a 3 year old dragonborn because it's funny#fimishec is the demon from that Mischief in Magic School story that i never did anything with#and beacon is of course beacon#she follows in compass's footsteps by being the healer of the group#which is kinda backward from how it should be but Team Rose needed to be the first party#i also have the final party members planned!#anyway miitopia is a really nice casual game#you don't even control your other 3 party members and the difficulty is fairly low#combine that with the fact that i Must Clear Every Alternate Path and i end up stupidly overpowered lol#it's nice to have such a low-pressure game
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I need a shugo chara reboot where the incest subplot is removed and Amu and Ikuto exclusively have this dynamic:
#molten rambles#why are we pairing a literal 10 year old with a dude who is between 15-17 years old#i used to ship amu/to for reference#so this is coming from someone who aged up and got weirded out#also utau#im so sorry they did you so dirty by making you love your literal brother 😭#i do still like her and kukai though#that was cute
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