#i was doing so good and then the last few days i havent been able to sleep more than 5 hours a night

[orcelito]

Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍

Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.

But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.

I do need to eat. But... later...

[semiotomatics]

okay ive been awake for almost 23 hours now, what do you wanna bet ill sleep for less than 5 :/

[lightfulonion]

thank you @skijjiki for tagging me!!!! i love these types of tagging games so much!!

last song: Tokyo Calling by ATARASHII GAKKO! (pls watch the music video. its so good 😭) im kind of, sort of, obsessed with this and i have been listening to it non-stop like my life depends on it. anyway

fav color: hmm im really feeling brown right now (wow! that sounds awful! im not changing my answer tho. brown rules.)

currently reading: im able to read only fanfics at the moment because anything that involves a book and new characters feels like too much work for me for some reason and also like im cheating at my classes in university. both of these suck big butt and i hate being like this but it's true. anyway please read a million times along the way by starsqwub. its a bokuaka fic, it hasnt updated since 2022 and it made me cry every chapter. its about love, its about friends, its about being a weird person in a normal world and, more importantly, its about bokuto and akaashi. oh! also manga like chainsaw man and toilet bound hanako-kun!! and some webcomics as well too.

currently watching: the wall mostly but also dungeon meshi! and ive been trying to be up-to-date with the one piece anime!!

spicy/savory/sweet: sweet <3

relationship status: i was reading a bokuaka fic and i was crying. take a wild guess.

current obsessions: listening to Tokyo Calling and ATARASHII GAKKO! apparently and im starting to feel like reading the ending of Haikyuu!! which is probably a bad thing?? (im scared. i really dont want it to end :'((( )

tagging: @livingonyoghurtandspite, @horson, @clementinethekitten, @pierogish, @alcieside, @mars-matrix, @peachybeesplease, @mangatxt.

[nomaishuttle]

IM A LITTLE WORRIED THO BC LIKE. I DONT HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABT AT ALL..

[britneyshakespeare]

why does scheduling my work days give me so much stress and anxiety

[satoruhour]

oh my god, i dont know if you write for this specifically (feel free to disregard if you don’t), but I’ve been thinking about satosugu x reader,,, imagine kissing the both of them!! spending a nice summer day with them!! just being able to enjoy spending time with the two of them!! I dont know if its my love for both of these characters and their relationship, but i just like thinking abt that dynamic,,,

a/n: wrote this yesterday to upload today since it was a loaded day today ❤️ enjoy. hope it’s up to standard cause i havent written fluff in a long time! / 1.3k, poly!satosugu x reader

sleep-ins were popular amongst the three of you. before you, suguru had his own routine of waking up early to brew some tea for himself, to get the laundry going . .

satoru, on his own, was a light sleeper, sitting straight up at any hint of sound due to his sorcerer duties but after moving in with geto, he’s been letting the long-haired man to do all the work.

and here came you, waltzing back into their lives (and apartment) after teaching at kyoto for just a few months until you couldn’t stand gakuganji and headed right back to your alma mater.

it wasn’t difficult to maintain the dynamic the three of you had from your school days, except maybe unspoken feelings and lingering glances until the two men were gassing each other up to ask you.

you’re not even sure how you even got roped in — old feelings, a crave for the younger days, the allure of satoru, the wonder of suguru — but now you’re stick in between both of them wanting to pee so badly.

alas, your body is trapped under gojo’s protective leg and geto’s gentler wrapped arm, but you still feel your bladder about to burst, trying one last time until your body is slammed back into bed.

“hm . . what’re you doing?” is gojo’s first raspy call out to you as he curls his calf around you even more, and you sigh, turning to him to brush his fringe from his face.

“i need to pee, satoru.”

“no.” and you roll your eyes because he’s always whiny like that and you’d usually employ suguru to do your bidding but he’s fast asleep, still. this was another thing: both you and gojo have inextricably fucked with his routine because now he’s more inclined to sleep in than drink his morning tea. he realised this one day when he was doing laundry, in the afternoon.

“’toru, pleeaasee?” you pout even if he can’t see and like a good boyfriend, he senses your features pulled into a face specifically meant to make him feel bad, and cracks his eyes open.

“oh, youuuu—” gojo scrunches up his eyes and squeezes, and then steals you from geto’s arm, trapping you with tight arms wound around your middle, “stop it with the eyes!”

you giggle, using your free hands to relax the tightness in his brows, using that opportunity to forcibly open his eyes and then you hit him again — knitted eyebrows and doe eyes, and a perfect pout that has gojo grumbling under his breath. silently, you wiggle yourself just enough to reach his face so you can place a peck on his lips and he hums.

another, his eyes say and you indulge him, sinking into his embrace and letting him guide you back to his mouth. morning breath is nothing to the both of you, grinning into the kiss when satoru loses himself and his embrace starts to loosen. the kiss still holds you captive, though, the other moaning softly when you deepen it with some tongue.

“you’re just going to leave me hangin’?” geto’s voice calls out from beside you, and gojo’s excited suguru! gives you just that sliver of time to slip away from the two as they catch up but—

“you’re not going anywhere, missus,” gojo pulls on your arm and you’re falling back into your space in the middle of the both of them, greeted with geto’s lovely laugh and his gentle gaze.

“good morning my loves,” he says, arm draped over the both of you before he leans down to give you a kiss while gojo replies with a good morning as well, also giving a peck to your temple. “what’s on the agenda today?”

“lazing in—”

“i need to pee, firstly,” you pipe up, cutting gojo off and patting his puffed out cheeks. grabbing his face, you wiggle his head just to emphasise your point, “your man here has been preventing me from going to the bathroom.”

“ahem! our man,” gojo corrects, sticking his tongue out just enough to lick your hand and you shriek in disgust while his giggles only fill the room.

“satoru, c’mon, let her go.” and again, the other only cuddles you closer to him, long, lanky limbs trapping your body. geto has a hand on yours like he’s trying his best to console you.

“but— she’s so much nicer to cuddle! did i ever tell you suguru once hit me in the face with his arm?”

and you laugh while the other only sighs and chaos erupts once he stands up and says in faux disappointment — “okay, i’m making breakfast for myself only. guess i lost two partners today.”

“hello?! i didn’t even do anything!” you shout in incredulity, words muffled once gojo slaps a hand over your mouth and laughs, watching through the bathroom mirror at how he chuckles at the both of you. you lick gojo’s hand and he moans obnoxiously.

geto did end up making the both of you some breakfast after some convincing (it was mostly gojo yelling “pleasepleaseplease” in the bathroom and interrupting brushing teeth time), but he’s got around it with a sloppy kiss given to the both of you, sat at the wooden table you commissioned — large enough to bring friends over but small enough for it to feel intimate with your two boyfriends.

“on the real agenda, we need to go for some grocery shopping,” geto suggests, reaching diagonally to you to wipe off the bits of strawberry lingering at the corner of your lips and gojo shouts a loud oh!, running from the table to grab his phone that he’s left on the bedside table. naturally, he has become so enamoured with the both of you that he doesn’t even need his phone to entertain him that much.

“i made the list like you asked, sugu,” and you’re giggling when you see his eyebrow raise, positive that on the list, there was more of what the house didn’t need than what it did.

silently, you’re helping to clear all three of your plates that had coatings of maple syrup on it, apart from gojo’s who licked his squeaky clean. a smile spreads across your face when you hear them bicker, a common occurrence.

“baby, there’s more candy than actual groceries on here.”

“but suguruuuu . .” gojo pulls this all the time and it hardly works on geto any more, so the both of them invade your cleaning escapades to argue. like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other, satoru sucks up to your boyfriend, suguru appeals to you.

“should we listen to him?” leaning against the counter, geto rests his arm around your torso, sidling right up to your face who only gives him a small grin.

gojo follows suit. “sweetness, don’t listen to him. you know you love the sweets i buy, i’ll even buy you your favourite brand!”

here in this kitchen in the house that gojo had no problem expanding to accommodate the both of you were all that you know in this mess of a world, destined to exorcise curses for as long as you live, but it wasn’t so bad when you had the strongest duo beside you, talking over each other on whether meiji chocolate was more important than buying celery for tonight’s dinner. 

“boys.” turning off the tap, you shake off the water and turn around in their arms only to see what had escalated: geto ready to summon a curse, gojo crossing his fingers in his muryōkūsho pose, all the while keeping an arm around you like everything’s fine. and as chaotic dating the both of them were, you don’t mind putting both their hands down and calming the situation down.

with a laugh, you give one kiss to both cheeks. “let’s just buy both, okay?”

and satoru leaps to hug you, planting endless kisses on your face while suguru sighs, then smiles, defeated. “plus, we can just make ’toru pay for everything, can’t we?”

“and then make him cook tonight.” you suggest, not-so-quietly.

gojo stops, “hey!”

i didnt write the grocery shopping part since i alr rambled off about it here but maybe next time we’ll see :)

[ppnuggiexxx]

Could we please get a soft, sweet oneshot of the reader braiding Satan’s hair because she loves it so much?? 🙏🙏

-> braiding satan’s hair || whb

• sfw | implied female reader

• sorry for the lateness !! hope you enjoy :3 !! tysm for being one of my first requests ♥️

any time he would sit down beside you ,, on your lap ,, or just in front of you it was like your hands already knew what to do . they'd always find themselves in his hair ,, kneading through it and untangling any knots that formed . you were careful around his horns though ,, knowing how much of an erogenous zone it was .

satan could deny that he liked your hands messing with his hair ,, though you and his nobles knew otherwise . it wasnt like they would think differently of their king for having such soft moments . they knew how much it put him at ease ,, a sort of stress reliever from the continuous angel attacks and dealing with the other kings .

" did you use a new shampoo ?" you asked out of the blue . his hair smelt different ,, more floral-like than usual . often it smelled of smoke if you caught him after an angel attack ,, other times of oil or gasoline when he was working on his bike . today however was different ,, as no angels showed up to wreak havoc (maybe it had to do with it being sunday ?) and satan had no meetings with his nobles or the other kings . nor had he been working on his bike today .

" it was something paimon recommended i use ,, why ?" satan asked ,, eyes focused on the show in front of you both . " it smells good on you ,, what brand was it ?" it wasnt out of the norm for paimon to recommend you different brands down in hell for you to use . it didnt matter what it was : makeup ,, nail polish ,, clothing ,, even food-wise paimon would always have the best recommendations . he's one of the few to get you to try food that looked unappealing that actually had tasted quite well . any time you went out to eat with him you'd often ask for his recommendation of what tasted good based on your own tastes .

        " are you saying i dont always smell good ?" satan's attention turned from the tv and towards you ,, angling his head up to look at you . " no ,," you rolled your eyes ,, " it was just different today ,, thats all ." satan eyed you for a moment then returned his gaze to the screen .

        " it was this new company that just released hair products ." satan informed you ,, yet kept it vague . " theyre a company from tartaros ." he added quietly ,, narrowing his eyes towards the tv . you only hummed ,, raking your fingers through his hair and dividing a small strip of it into three strands . " ill have to keep an eye out then ."

        carefully you crossed the strands over one another ,, making a small but simple braid on the back of his head . it wasnt as though you used all his hair ,, that wouldve been quiet difficult considering how much there is and how thick it is .

        you were thankful for soft moments like this; being able to enjoy your lover's presence without a worry for whether or not more people would die . it was easy to get caught up in the pain and commotion angel attacks would bring; the gore and massacre angels would cause towards the devils residing in gehenna . it felt that every day led to more bloodshed ,, every house built meant another dozen destroyed . it felt almost meaningless to even continue to reside in the nation ,, but the king and his citizens were strong willed . they wouldnt allow their beloved country to be taken out so easily ,, and its the main reason the angels' attacks havent been as useful to their plans .

        even without the help of other nations gehenna has upheld itself thanks to its residents . strong and loyal to their nation and king ,, they continue to fight for their country and freedom . it was admirable ,, how long theyve fought for their land yet how long theyve lasted against the angels .

        your fingers weaved the strands back and forth ,, finishing the first small braid and moving on to make another . " anything special you want to do later today ?" you asked ,, inquiring for his answer . some days satan wanted to just spend alone with you ,, having domestic moments such as these or doing other things . other times he would take you out with his nobles to a bar in gehenna ,, or a restaurant to celebrate another victory .

        " a new cafe near the outskirts of gehenna opened ,," his smiled widened . " wanna see what sort of treats they have ? i already heard from leraye that they have good cakes ,, and sitri complimented their tea ." the king shrugged . it seemed the moment you turned on a show from your childhood (thanks to the power of youtube) satan has been stuck to the tv screen like an ipad kid with cheetos . maybe you should implement a screen time limit ,, but it was reminiscent how he was the same way as you were as a kid .

        your eyes were stuck to the screen ,, interested in what the characters would do next to solve the problem . with how preoccupied your mind was you didnt even realize how many small braids you'd made in the devil's hair . they were scattered around ,, but definitely looked nice . though a few you could tell were somewhar scrappy . maybe you should ask paimon for some cute little hairpins to put in satan's hair ,, maybe a little kitty or some hearts to hold some of the braids in place next time .

        " what time you want to leave by ?"

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

[moonswolfie]

Princess of the commoner cafe

Oikawa, Miya twins, Ushijima, Hinata, Akaashi x fem!reader

ohshc AU!!

I've been watching a bit of ouran high school host club lately (still havent gotten very far but i am HOOKEDDDDDD) and i'm sure others have written something like this before but i wanted to throw my own hat in the ring and write this delulu ass scenario

also i apologise PROFUSELY if anyone is ooc it has been a WHILE since my last haikyuu rewatch

(btw i am working on your request anon dont you worry ;) )

Somehow, you managed to get into the prestigious Ouran Academy based on your academic success alone. Your parents were overjoyed to send you off, even if you felt embarrased about not even being able to afford the official school uniform. You stuck out like a sore thumb on your first day, that's for sure.

At first, you thought you wouldn't fit in with anyone here. Your hypothesis was mostly correct. Everyone in your class is always talking about their latest designer bag or bragging about their new lambo or bugatti. Needless to say, it's like they're speaking in a foreign language.

They quickly lost interest in you after you couldn't list your top ten designer brands (with reasons as to why you chose those specific ones!!!). Yeah, friends are kind of out of the picture.

So when your curiosity got the better of you one day and you visited the host club all the girls in your class keep squealing about you didn't expect things to develop like this.

"Are you gonna visit today too? Are you?!" Hinata, the boy from the other class attached himself to your arm and looked at you with sparkling eyes. "Of course I am." you smiled at him, a little giddy about returning to the club once more.

"We have a special theme today, just for you..." he told you that while wearing a mischevious grin but refused to elaborate. The boys at the club always go through great lengths to get you curious and draw you back into the club. Not just Hinata, all of them.

Let's just say you've become quite the sensation among the hosts of the Ouran High school host club. You aren't exactly sure how you managed to get yourself in this situation, but you aren't really complaining, either. You'd definitely take being adored by the 6 hotties of the school over being ignored by everyone for all your 3 years of high school.

All you did was visit the club a few times out of curiosity, far too afraid to actually openly interact with the hosts considering the crowd of girls always gathered around them. Not to mention you'd definitely get gawked at for your clothes, mannerisms and conversation topics (and not in a good way).

Akaashi was the first to take notice of you, and somehow that evolved into every other host becoming interested, too.

Anyways, Hinata seemed very satisfied with your promise to come visit once again and ran off, shouting that you have to promise to come visit him first.

Well, there's nothing to it but to do it, you suppose.

.

"Welcome, dear guests, to the host club!" all the guys greeted you and a group of other girls who also came as soon as they possibly could. They were practically pushing eachother in front of the door. Not that you can blame them.

As soon as you stepped into the room, you felt like you were standing at the local cafe located just around the corner from your house. It felt warm and homey. So this is what they went for this time. A strange choice, considering their usually extravagant themes.

"Heya, gir-" Atsumu's smug voice greeted you from behind and you turned around to see that he was about to envelop you in his arms. "Hey, ya lost the bet. I get her first." Osamu pulled Atsumu back by his barista apron before he could actually touch you. Atsumu grumbled something you couldn't quite hear, which you presume was some not so nice words directed towards his brother.

"Actually, I made a promise to Hinata that he'd be the first one I visit." you smiled at the twins apologetically. Neither of them seemed too pleased about the prospect of that, though. "Why? Ya like him more than us?" Atsumu placed his hands on his hips, glaring at you.

"Hahaha, a promise is a promise. I'll be back for you two right after, don't worry." you waved the twins off, winking. That seemed to soften their expressions a bit. But maybe it wasn't the smartest idea, looking back on it. They're definitely going to fight over which one of them you winked at later.

Hinata greeted you enthusiastically, looking overjoyed at seeing you. His cheeks blushed a nice pink color when he smiled at you. "Wait here, wait here." he held out an antique looking chair for you and you sat down behind one of the tables. Then he ran off somewhere.

You're always impressed by how lavishly they decorate their club. I guess being rich can really do wonders for club decor.

"Are you enjoying today's theme? I made sure to pick out some fitting decorations." Akaashi suddenly appeared behind you. You could have sworn you didn't hear his footsteps. Maybe you were just too absorbed in observing the theme, though. Haha, even all the hosts are dressed like baristas.

"Yeah..." you looked into Akaashi's eyes, admiring their color. You've always found him to have a calming presence, even if he can be mischevious at times. That just adds on to his personality, doesn't it? You think it's quite a shame that he isn't as popular as a certain someone in the club.

"It seems to me you're enjoying something other than the theme." you got snapped out of your thoughts by Akaashi's voice. Oops, you must have been staring at him again. You turned away, making a quick apology. You felt a little giddy all of a sudden.

"Oh, but when did I ever say I dislike the attention?" Akaashi gently grabbed your chin, turning your face back to him. Somehow, he seems more affectionate towards you than he does to the other girls who request him. Atleast you've never seen him grab other girls' chins. You were sure you probably looked awestruck in this moment.

"Hey! Stop hogging her to yourself!" Hinata was running back to the two of you, holding a fancy cup of (presumably) coffee. On his way to stop Akaashi from wooing you, he didn't notice a wire below his feet and he tripped over it.

...Which happened to spill hot coffee all over your shirt and shattered the cup to pieces. "Ugh... I'm okay, don't- AAAAH!" Hinata yelled upon seeing your shirt.

"I'll go get new clothes!" Akaashi seemed tense, quickly turning on his heels and running off.

Luckily, the coffee was cool enough to not give you burns. You aren't even worried about the shirt that much either, you've been on the fence about donating it anyways.

"Aaah, I'm so sorry. I'm so so so sorry." Hinata seemed almost dramatically apologetic, bowing down before you in apology over and over.

"What is going on over here?" you heard a smug voice that could belong to one person and one person only. The leader and self proclaimed king of the club, Oikawa, was now approaching the two of you. And he didn't seem very happy, mind you.

"Ah, Oikawa! It's, umm..." Hinata nervously whipped his head around to meet Oikawa's charming chocolate eyes.

"Hinata accidentally spilled coffee on me." Hinata looked at you sadly, like you just betrayed him. You gasped, realising you weren't supposed to reveal that unless you wanted Hinata to feel Oikawa's wrath. Normally he would just scold Hinata for his clumsiness, but when it comes to you specifically, he gets protective. Somehow, he even looks like a supermodel while wearing a barista uniform.

"He... Oh, that won't do. You should spend less time with clumsy good-for-nothings and spend more time with..." he tilted your chin towards him "...Me."

As much as you think Oikawa is an obnoxious jerk, he always manages to charm your negative feelings away when he does something like that. Gets you feeling all giddy like the main character of a badly written shojo anime.

"Uh-huh. Whatever you say, bro." you kept your face as cold as you possibly could in that situation. It seemed to you like the word "bro" was a direct stab to his heart, but he quickly recovered, putting on his best flirty face. "I will help you clean yourself up, my princess. We simply must get you out of that dreadful shirt." Oikawa shot poor Hinata a glare. You're definitely buying him "that one good commoner chocolate" (as Hinata likes to call it) later.

"Uh, Akaashi's already-"

"Now now now, what's goin' on here?" things are about to get a lot more complicated, you reckon. Because now the twins have showed up.

"We heard precious china shatterin' and wanted to see what caused it." Osamu added. A few girls were blushing a few meters behind the twins, probably too nervous to approach the two right now.

"Ya said you'd come visit us right after! And now yer here with this a-" Atsumu immediately stopped complaining when he saw your shirt. Both the twins shot poor poor Hinata a glare. (One "poor" for each twin.)

"See, I told ya I was a better fit for ya. I'd never spill coffee on ya." Osamu crossed his arms.

"What do ya mean "the better fit for ya"? Clearly, I'm the better one 'round here. And say the wink was meant for me while we're at it, won't ya?!" Atsumu's anger was now directed back at Osamu. (Akaashi would joke that it's back to where it's supposed to be.)

"I was kinda winking at-"

"Oh, please. Don't joke around with me. We all know I'm the best fit for her." Oikawa posed dramatically, which looked funny because of his not very prince-like outfit.

This always ends up happening. At this point you've given up on stopping it. The twins start bickering with Oikawa while girls on both sides squeal for them to calm down, tearfully inviting the boys back into their embraces.

You look behind you, where Ushijima is staring at you knowingly. You give him a relieved smile, knowing what's about to come. Whenever the other guys get into duels over who gets to recieve your attention, Ushijima is always there to pull you out of the situation.

The duels get so heated that you get to spend a few minutes alone with him before the others even notice you're gone. And so you follow the routine of letting him whisk you away to a lonely corner of the club room.

"Do you know why the theme is a commoner cafe?" he asks after a few moments of silence. He's looking at you with complete seriousness, but you don't miss the hint of a smile on his face. Enchanted by such a sight, you shake your head no dreamily.

"It was to impress you. Akaashi thought of the idea." Your eyes widened. Now you just feel giddy that Akaashi actually remembered that one time you told him you used to visit a cozy cafe close to your house with your parents growing up. It was all the way back when he first acknowledged your existence and decided to sit around with you for a few minutes, sipping tea from a cup that probably costs more than your phone.

"Oh... I like it. I really do." you smiled up at Ushijima. You could swear a bit of blush appeared on his cheeks. He silently put an arm around you, pulling you close to him. You like when he does that.

When all of the hosts are swooning over you like this while wearing barista uniforms, you feel like the princess of a commoner cafe.

[notiddygothgf]

1. Arrival in Tokyo

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ Captain? Should I be calling you sir? ❞ ❝ Only if you want to. ❞

★ c.w.: aki being sexy a f (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: CHAPTER ONE IS UP AND RUNNINGGGGGG!! im so excited bc ive been sitting on this fanfic all fking summer like when i tell u i havent been able to focus on anything else. i have not known peace. ANYWAY im trying smth new w this story bc it was supposed to be a oneshot but uh... now its at 150 pages on google docs so erm... anyway! updates should flow quixker now that i have 90% of it written!! comment and let me know all of ur thoughts everywhere omg i love reading ur remarks bc u guys r so funny on my other ffs. ENJOY POOKIES! i love yall!!

★ w.c.; 4.3k

shameless ; chapter index

"SO YOU'RE LEAVING ME because the Tokyo division needs backup?" 

"I'm not leaving you," You sighed, though a playful lilt and a smirk followed your sarcastic remark. You and your husband were discussing work-related matters over a sushi dinner – your favorite. Perks of being married to your work partner. "I'm being summoned. I won't be long. Promise."

Your husband frowned, brows knitting together. His brown hair was tied back into a bun, baby hairs licking at his forehead, his cheeks. Tanimoto Yoshiro was a man of many virtues, but patience was not one of them. With a sigh, he began to toy with his salmon roll, prodding it with the end of his wooden chopsticks. "One whole week without that sexy ass of yours... What will I do?"

Your left eye twitched – slightly, hardly noticeable by the naked eye. You, for one, wouldn't miss the sex. It was, for lack of a better word... unfulfilling. It would get better over the years, you were sure of it. The two of you had only had the last few years to practice, after all. You wanted to wait until marriage (With him. You were no virgin by any stretch of the word.).

It was unfair of you to take your sexual frustrations out on him. It had been a tiring week for the both of you, is all. You barely had time for sit down meals like this anymore – whatever hanky-panky the two of you ever did indulge in these days was rushed, messy, and often... short lived.

Anyway, needless to say... You would be fine. It was you and your rabbit toy against the world, anyway.

"You'll be fine," You smiled. You loved him. He loved you. He was a great husband, and he took care of you. You had no reason to complain. "I'll be back before you know it." .

The Japanese countryside was a blur, rushing past the window of your train like pictures, like a movie. You hadn't noticed the train slow to a stop, in fact, until you heard the doors open. Popping your head up over the seat, you observed the train station. Which stop is this? People began filtering in from both sides, eager to find a seat before the train took off.

A shrill cry of your name roused you from your thoughts. 

You whipped your head around. A familiar-looking woman with black hair and an eyepatch was waving you down across the aisle. She was wearing a Public Safety suit and slacks. Himeno.

A smile crawled over your lips before you knew it. "Himeno?" You asked, a teasing lilt in your tone. "Is that you?"

Without asking if anyone else was sitting there, she took a seat in the one across from you. She leaned forward, perching her chin up on her hand. "Never thought I'd see you again. How the hell are 'ya?"

You and Himeno went way back. She had been in the same division as you back when the two of you were teens. She was the first person in Public Safety who had ever actually welcomed you to the division and the last person to say goodbye to you. You parted ways before ever being able to exchange information but, for what it was worth, she had made those gruesome, tedious missions more bearable. 

"I've been good!" You grinned. "I've been in the Kyoto sector with my partner. I truly did plan on coming back, but one thing led to another, and now..." You trailed off, waving your hands around like you were trying to find the right words. "Well, I'm married to him."

The train creaked and groaned before it began to move again. 

"So I've heard," Himeno licked her lips. She sat back in her chair, producing a carton of cigarettes – the kind she always used to smoke when the two of you were on missions together. "You mind if I smoke?"

No, but the conductor might. "Of course not," You answered. "How about you? How have you been?"

She sighed. "Been better, honestly. Devil activity's been crazy recently," Fishing a lighter out of her suit pocket, she sparked up. The end of her cigarette sizzled and smoked between her slim fingers. Holding it up to her lips, she muttered, "Just doing what I can to stay alive. What brings you back to the city?"

"My presence has been requested by the higher-ups," You shrugged. The scent of nicotine and smoke filled the cabin. It was gross but, frankly, familiar. "My husband wasn't too happy that he didn't get invited, so this better be worth it."

"I see," Himeno hummed, breathing out a puff of smoke to the side. She kept on looking out of the window after that, at the train station that was now far behind the train. "You're leaving your partner and I'm returning to mine."

"You're married?" You asked.

"God, no," She chuckled softly, pulling another hit from her cancer stick. "Wouldn't mind being with my assigned partner, though. He's a fine piece of ass."

It seemed like you couldn't help the way you burst into laughter at her crude remark. She hasn't changed one bit. "Is he cute?"

"Cute?" She repeated the word like it was a foreign object in her mouth. Her voice was muffled by the cloud of smoke that flowed out from between her lips. "He's drop-dead gorgeous," She took another slow, calculated hit. "Enough about me, though, how's the married life going for you?"

Could be better. You feigned a warm smile at the mention of your husband. "Good. Yeah, it's good."

Good was a bit of an overstatement. .

You and Himeno spent the rest of the train ride catching up. There was talk about marriage, sex, old coworkers, and new ones. It felt kind of good to be back – to be able to talk to someone who shared the same history as you. You would almost say that you missed it.

By the time the announced its next stop at the Tokyo station, you hadn't even realized how quickly the trip had gone by. You could thank your talkative companion for that. As the train finally eased to a stop, you turned to Himeno with a smile. 

"I need to grab my bags," you said, rising from your seat and straightening your clothes.

Himeno nodded, her smile warm but tinged with a hint of sadness. "Okay. Take care of yourself!"

Navigating the narrow aisle, you headed toward the luggage compartment. As you reached up to grab your suitcase, you collided with someone. Startled, you looked up to find yourself face-to-face with a man who immediately captured your attention. He was tall, easily over six feet, with broad shoulders and a powerful build that spoke of both strength and discipline. His dark hair was tied back in a neat topknot, accentuating his sharp, angular features. But it was his eyes that held you—their piercing blue depths seemed to look straight through you, filled with a seriousness that made you catch your breath.

"Sorry—" he began, his voice a deep, resonant baritone that vibrated through the narrow space.

For a moment, the world seemed to narrow down to just the two of you. The closeness of his body, the scent of his cologne—clean and subtly spiced, lingering just faintly on the collar of his suit jacket—the intense focus of his gaze; all of it created a bubble of tension that neither of you could ignore. You could see the flicker of surprise in his eyes, a momentary lapse in his serious demeanor, as if he too had been caught off guard.

Both of you paused. His gaze flickered down to your uniform for just a heartbeat before he quickly looked away, regaining his composure. Without another word, you continued in opposite directions, the silent exchange leaving you... well, a little breathless to say the least.

Stop it. You're a married woman. Surely, you would know how to control your impulses after being away from your husband for only a day.

Reaching up, you pulled your suitcase from the overhead compartment, the weight of it a familiar comfort. Setting it down on the ground with a soft thud, you turned back to your seat, only to find the handsome man still standing there, now engaged in conversation with Himeno. He was so tall that he had to actually lean over a little bit to fit into the cabin.

Fuck me. You thought. Wait, no, don't fuck me.

"Is this your partner, Himeno?" you asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Yes, I found him!" Himeno responded with a wide grin. "Captain Hayakawa, this is an old friend of mine," she said, going on to introduce you by name.

"Hello," he greeted, extending his hand. The deep, velvety timbre of his voice sent a shiver down your spine.

"Captain? Should I be calling you 'sir'?" you teased lightly, shaking his hand – and his grip was firm and warm.

"Only if you want to," he replied, "Hayakawa is fine."

Only if you want to.

Get your fucking head out of the gutter.

Your heart skipped a beat as you found yourself momentarily lost in his gaze. His eyes were a captivating shade of blue, intense and unwavering. The handshake lingered a moment too long. You could feel the strength and warmth of his hand – it was far larger than yours, and had calluses at the tip of the palm.

Despite his serious demeanor, there was a flicker of something in his eyes, a hint of interest that he seemed determined to keep under control. Reluctantly, you pulled your hand away, feeling the lingering warmth of his touch. 

His gaze remained locked on yours for a moment longer, a silent acknowledgment of whatever the fuck had just happened.

Himeno cleared her throat, breaking the spell. "Well, let me give you a big hug, dearest."

You embraced her fondly, the familiarity of her touch grounding you. 

"Here, give me your number," Himeno said as she pulled back. She flipped her phone open. "Let's keep in touch."

With a smile, you told her your phone number. 

She snapped her phone shut after she had finished typing it in. "Okay! Hopefully, I'll get to see you around."

"Yes, of course! We'll be in touch," You agreed. You bowed your head to her, then to her partner. "Hayakawa."

He nodded back. You dismissed yourself after that, turning on your heel and practically scrambling to get out of that tiny train cabin. Still, you couldn't help but glance back at Captain Hayakawa. His eyes met yours again for a brief, fleeting moment before you turned away, heart racing with something you hadn't felt in a long time.

You didn't want to stick around and find out what it was. The weight of your wedding ring around your finger was a reminder of that much. .

You hadn't been in Public Safety's Tokyo headquarters in years. It was bigger than you remembered it being. The worst part? All the halls looked the exact same. It took you about thirty minutes to find the office in which you were currently standing.

A woman who you'd been dreading seeing the whole way over there was perched on a leather seat in front of you, arms folded over the desk, pink hair braided the same way it always had been, feline eyes flitting over your body. It made you feel small – like prey trapped in a predator's den.

"How was your trip over here?" Makima asked. Her voice was smooth, uniform – calculated, just like everything else she did. 

"It was pleasant," You answered. "I came as soon as I could."

"We appreciate that," Makima said, a hint of something sinister in her smile.

She stepped out from behind her desk, pacing slowly around the room. "I called you here because we've recently suffered a great deal of casualties," she explained, her tone measured and controlled. "I'm worried we won't have the manpower to deal with all the sudden appearances of gun-devil pieces."

"I understand. Am I being formally stationed?" you replied, trying to maintain your composure.

"Not that I know of, no," she responded, her eyes narrowing slightly. "For now, we need backup on a particular mission involving a school in the area. There have been reports of peculiar activity there, and I want to send one of my teams to investigate. I haven't decided whether you'll be in the field or here tying up some loose ends—we recently lost one of our best workers, and we're very far behind as a result. I'll have a certain answer for you within the next few days."

"A few... days?"

"Yes, is that a problem?"

"No, not at all, no. I just—" you sighed, feeling the weight of uncertainty. "Yeah, okay, that sounds good."

"You've also been booked a hotel suite nearby. Your stay will be provided at no cost to you," she continued, her tone unwavering. "I'll reach out to you as soon as I have more details. Hang tight until then."

With a tight-lipped smile, you nodded. "Thank you, Miss Makima. Am I dismissed?"

"Yes, I'll have one of our drivers take you to your room so you can drop off your luggage," she said, her smile not reaching her eyes. "Where did you leave it?"

"I left it in the break room," you said.

"Very well. I'll have someone collect it," she replied, her eyes closing briefly as she smiled. "Get home safely."

With that, you turned and left the office, the tension of the encounter still lingering in the back of your mind. There was just something about that damn lady that never failed to send a shiver up your spine. You sighed, glancing down at the old floorboards, at your shoes.

The reality of the situation began to sink in. 

You had traveled all this way, navigating the maze of identical halls and sterile rooms, only to be told you had to wait. The thought gnawed at you— That sounds about right from her, you mused. It was typical of Makima, always keeping you in the dark, always one step ahead, holding the reins tightly.

The cool, clinical atmosphere of the headquarters only heightened your sense of displacement. The fluorescent lights overhead cast a harsh, unforgiving glow, making everything look stark and unwelcoming.

Lost in your thoughts, you heard a series of footsteps echoing down the hall, followed by hushed voices. The sound grew closer, and you recognized the voice immediately—it was the young lieutenant captain again, the man you had bumped into earlier.

You glanced up, and there he was, standing just a few feet away. He was a striking figure, his presence suffocating – commanding and enigmatic. He had a sharp jaw, chiseled and defined, the kind that could cut paper. His eyes, a moody blue, held a penetrating gaze, one that seemed to see right through you, making you feel as though you were laid completely bare before him.

His brow was knit slightly in deep thought. There was a slight furrow at the bridge of his nose. The tufts of inky black hair that framed his features only added to the boyish charm of his face. 

As he spoke to the other Public Safety worker beside him, his hands moved with purposeful grace.

Your eyes were drawn to him despite yourself, unable to escape the force of his presence. 

His gaze caught yours briefly, and in that fleeting moment, you felt an almost tangible tension in the air. It was as if time had stopped for a heartbeat, the corridor seeming to stretch and contract around the two of you.

The connection between your eyes was like a magnet, pulling you in despite your efforts to look away. The faintest flutter in your chest was enough to have you gripping the collar of your shirt.

He blinked first, his eyes breaking away from yours as he turned back to his companion. The conversation resumed, but the air seemed thicker now, charged with the residual energy of your brief encounter. 

"We need to re-evaluate our strategies for dealing with the increased devil activity," he said, his words carefully chosen. "The losses have been significant, and our resources are stretched thin."

You turned and walked in the opposite direction, the soft hum of the fluorescent lights overhead seeming to amplify the distance you were putting between yourself and him.

As you moved down the corridor, you couldn't shake the feeling that his eyes were still on you, as if the weight of his gaze lingered even after you had turned away.  .

You had just stepped out of the shower, the steam still clinging to the room and curling around the bathroom mirror in hazy swirls. The cool, clean air of the hotel suite met you as you emerged, a refreshing contrast to the stifling atmosphere of the Public Safety headquarters.

You took a moment to let the chill of the air sink into your skin, feeling the pleasant coolness against your damp hair and freshly washed face. You dried yourself off, the soft towel enveloping you in its warmth, and slipped into a comfortable set of loungewear—simple, dark gray sweatpants and a loose-fitting, white t-shirt.

You walked over to the full-sized bed, the crisp white sheets and plush pillows arranged neatly. You flopped down onto it, letting out a relieved sigh as you sank into the softness of the mattress.

Reaching for your phone from the nightstand, you dialed your husband's number. As the call connected, you propped yourself up on one elbow and stared at the ceiling, trying to shake off the exhaustion of the day.

When he answered, his voice was calmingly familiar, cutting through the distance between you with a comforting ease. "Hey. How's everything going?"

"It's been a day," you said with a soft chuckle. "I finally got here, but of course, they've got me waiting for more details. Typical."

"Sounds about right," he said, his voice tinged with a longing that you could almost touch through the phone, "I miss you."

You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to push away the brief flash of memories that drifted through your mind—blue eyes and raven hair, a fleeting image that made your heart skip a beat. An image of soft lips wrapped around the syllables, 'Only if you want to.'

You shook your head gently, trying to dispel the image from your thoughts. "I miss you too," you said, trying to keep your tone light and steady.

You heard the faint sound of his smile through the phone, a soft, reassuring sound. You had never been so happy to hear his voice. "How's the hotel?"

"It's nice," you said, shifting your position on the bed to get more comfortable. "Pretty standard, but it's got a good view of the city."

"I can think of one view I'd really like to see right now," he teased gently. 

Just as you were about to reply, your phone started ringing again. You glanced at the screen and saw the name of your old coworker. 

"Hold on, I'm getting a call," you said, your fingers hovering over the screen. 

"Ugh, okay," he said. "Bye."

"Bye," you replied, a smile tugging at your lips as you ended the call.

You took a deep breath before picking up. "Hello?"

"Heya, Hot stuff. What you up to?" Himeno drawled into the receiver.

"Just got out the shower," You answered. "Why? Is something up?"

"Nah. Well, yeah," She giggled. "Miss Makima's taking us out for drinks to celebrate the success of our last mission tomorrow. She rented out this whole space for us. You coming?"

You chuckled quietly, carding a hand through your damp hair. "I always feel dull at parties."

"You? Dull?" Came Himeno's retort. "This really the same person who used to take body shots off complete strangers back in the day?"

The mere mention of your past self had you laughing all over again. "Times change."

"Married life made you soft?" 

You winced. Sure, perhaps a somewhat-boring life in the countryside with your husband had made you a little soft. But there was something in the way she said it – something that made you tick. You were happy being a married woman. You had been happy since the two of you had eloped at 21.

You were happy, dammit. You just wished it was a little easier to convince yourself of that.

"I don't know..." You trailed off. "I won't be any fun."

"Noooooo... You have to come!" Himeno groaned. You could hear her pacing around in the background. "DENJI!" She called to god knows who. "Back me up here!"

The phone was handed over to someone else – a young-sounding boy. "I'm not gonna force someone to go to a stupid party."

"Tell her to come!" Could be heard very faintly in the background.

"Wait. She's a 'she'?"

"Not just any 'she', thats–"

"You should definitely come tonight," The boy decided. "Name's Denji, by the way."

"Hi, Denji," You sighed. "Could you hand the phone back to Himeno for just a moment?"

"Sure," He answered. "Bye, gorgeous. See you there."

Gorgeous. He hasn't even seen me and he's calling me gorgeous. You had to have been in the twilight zone.

"So, you're coming, right?" Himeno's voice chirped over the line.

"I don't know," You answered (again). "Who's going?"

"Aki's coming. Remember him? Partner? Total hottie?" She replied. 

Total hottie was an understatement. Again, the image of his pretty face flashed through your mind. You squashed the mere thought of it – like an incessant bug. "Yes, we met."

"I'm gonna get a smooch out of him by the end of the night," She giggled. "You can bet on that."

People came and went. Seasons changed. Himeno, however, did not. She was just as crude as you had always remembered her being.

"Just a kiss?" You teased.

"Maybe. Maybe more," She teased right back. "Can you believe he doesn't have a girlfriend? He's 20! That's gotta mean something."

He's five years younger than me... You picked mindlessly at your nails. "Something like...?"

"Dunno. Am I wrong for thinking he's holding out for me?" 

"Oh, to be young and naive again," You sighed. "I was engaged at his age," You trailed off, words hanging in the air for a moment after they had slipped past your lips.

Awkward. Did that slip out?

You leaned back against the headboard, feeling the cool pillows against your back while your mind drifted to the past. You had been so young when you'd gotten married, looking back. You loved him, you truly did. Sure, you had your issues, but didn't every married couple?

The two of you were happy. Still, a pang of jealousy surfaced when you heard Himeno speak so freely about her independence, her sexual prowess. In a way, you felt as though you had been deprived of that freedom far too early.

Your fingers traced the edge of your phone, your gaze drifting as memories flooded your mind. Himeno's laughter on the other end of the line seemed distant, a reminder of a simpler time, unburdened by the weight of responsibilities and commitments.

You were happy... weren't you?

"Hey, you still there?" Himeno's voice pulled you back to the present, her tone tinged with concern.

"Yeah, sorry," you replied, shaking off the melancholy that had crept into your thoughts. "Just got lost in my head for a moment."

"Don't we all," she sighed, her voice softening. "Look, just come down tomorrow. It'll be fun. We can catch up, have a few drinks, and maybe you can even be my wingman for the night."

You chuckled, the sound more genuine this time. "Alright, fine. I'll come. But no promises about playing matchmaker."

"Yay! It's at five," Himeno's excitement was palpable, and it was contagious. "I'll see you then. Hopefully, you can loosen up a little bit. Relive the good days."

"Yeah, maybe," you said, a small, half-assed smile playing on your lips. "See you then."

You ended the call and set your phone to the side. 

Loosen up a little, You thought. Yeah, you could definitely stand to do that.

a/n: shortie but a goodie! i already have most of the story written (so this one doesnt wind up like my 25,000 other unfinished projects), and this was the only way i could think to cut this chapter off hehe. ANYWAYYYY i hope yall enjoyed and are prepared for the TENSION AND SPICEEEE. omg its so tasty i cant wait. stay tuned! its gonna be so amazing. please comment and whatever to let me know your thoughts, wants and desires for this story! or just smth fun. i love reading yalls comments hehe comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found it on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

[ofmdrecaps]

11/07-08/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi/Minnie Driver; Samba Schutte; Kristian Nairn; Vico Ortiz; Guz Khan; Damien Gerard; WB News; Petition Update; Revenge Raffle; Articles; Auxiliary Wardrobe Zine Updates; Fan Spotlight: A Muse Of Fyre's Calendar Kickstarter; Love Notes;

Hey all, as you can see I'm late again. I took some advice and spent a lot of hours over the last few days doing some creative projects and spending time with friends and my son. Hoping to be caught up soon. Lots happened over the last few days so things are being spread across this and the next issue. Hope you're all staying safe and sane out there <3

== David Jenkins ==

Sounds like Chaos Dad is making the jump from Twitter elsewhere! You can now follow him if you haven't already on:

Threads

Bluesky!

== Rhys Darby ==

Okay but for real, Tumblr, for the love of all things cheese, please let me be able to upload more than one video on a post! Rhys was out in Indianapolis Indiana for his Comedy show! Thank you to our dear crewmate @sherlockig for posting these on tumblr!

So someone sent me this pic which is obviously cropped--- so if this is your photo please let me know I'd love to credit you! I couldn't find it or I'd have asked personally!

New Cryptid Factor Episode! More Footage from Lochness!

Source: The Cryptid Factor Patreon

== Taika Waititi ==

Taika has been busy with Rita being a complete gorgeous goofball as usual.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 𝙇𝙖 𝙈𝙤𝙙𝙚 𝙈𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙯𝙞𝙣𝙚 (@lamodemag)

Source: LA Mode Magazine

Taika has also really just been EVERYWHERE the last few days and so there's videos of him all over the place.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Steve Hargrave (@mrstevehargrave)

Source: Instagram

Source: KokoCamden Instagram

Taika and Minnie channeling Ed and Anne Bonny Chaos Vibes out at the KOKO Foundation charity event!

Source: Minnie Driver's Instagram

This last one, Minnie described as a "Hot Sandwich" .

Source: Minnie's Instagram

== Samba Schutte ==

This is a little late since this was from before the class, but Samba was such a sweetie and shared some love for his upcoming baking class and a script from S2 Ep 8!

Source: Samba's Twitter

== Kristian Nairn ==

New Episode of Spektrum is out!

Source: Kristian's Instagram Stories

== Guz Khan ==

Guz is going to be in Dubai Jan 20th! Ticket Info here!

Source: Guz's Instagram

== Vico Ortiz ==

Vico has blessed their Patreon followers with more S2 BTS! If you're a follower check them out below!

BTS 1 - Selection of pictures

BTS 2 - Super quick video of Sampson and Con

Source: Vico's Patreon

== Damien Gerard ==

If you have a moment, please send our Father Teach, Damien some good vibes and love. He's got some stuff going on and he could use some extra love!

Source: Damien Gerard's Bsky

== WB News ==

Our friends over at @adoptourcrew are keeping us up to date on these articles that keep coming out about WBD!

Source: AdoptOurCrew twitter

In addition, our spectacular crewmate Ashley, aka a Seven_Sugars on Twitter and Bluesky gave us a whole lot of info regarding the WBD Q3 Earnings Report!

Source: Seven_Sugars Twitter/Bluesky

== 90K on the Petition ==

Hey all! Great job! We finally hit 90K on the petition! If you're new to the fandom and havent signed yet, please do so here!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Tumblr

== Revenge Raffle ==

One of our ever present, extremely kind crewmates, Irene Adler was kind enough to set up a new raffle, she's made several lockets out of the glass from the actual Revenge ship, and she's going to be raffling them as well as some other goodies off to support LGBTQIA+ folks in the US! You can follow along for new via instagram with the #revengeraffle hashtag. Have something you wanna donate or enter? Send her a DM! The Raffle will be going live in late Nov/Early December!

Source: Irene Adler's Instagram / Threads

== Articles ==

More articles featuring OFMD! Thank you again for sharing these @adoptourcrew!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Auxiliary Wardrobe Zine Updates==

Over $1000 has been raised for charity with the Auxiliary Wardrobe Zine! Great job everyone! If you haven't gotten one yet and would like to, you can visit @stedebonnetzine or their carrd for more info!

Source: Auxiliary Wardrobe Zine Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= A Muse Of Fyre Calendar! =

It's that time of year for 2025 Calendars! Our dear crewmate @amuseoffyre has a Kickstarter up for a calendar with their fabulous Muppets! Check it out here!

Source: A Muse Of Fyre Instagram

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies. I really hope you're hanging in there. It's been a heck of a week. I've been distracting myself with art and listening to audio books, and watching film, and I have to say, disengaging a bit has been really helpful for my mental health. One of the biggest things I continue to hear from so many different supportive groups out there is that community is such a huge part of getting through the collective grief and trauma we're all experiencing right now. Please if you can, take some time and go meet up with friends. Get a hug, give a hug, if you don't hug, just a smile and be with some of your fellow people in the community. We need each other more than ever at the moment, and it's amazing how humanizing even basic human connection can be, Please be safe, please spend some time being creative, please go out and get some time with your community, someone you feel safe with. If you can't get out, try a video call, or just lean on your crew online, whatever it is you feel comfortable and safest with. I'm thinking and rooting for you every day. I'm hoping over the coming days I'll be in a better headspace to try and be around more. Sending love <3 Rest up lovelies.

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A post shared by Dani DiPirro (@positivelypresent)

Source: Positively Present Instagram

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jess Phoenix (@jessraephoenix)

Source: JessRaePhoenix Instagram

[naturesapphic]

Hi! First of all, I wanted to tell you that I think you are one of the best writers on tumblr. Second, I have a request. Would you be able to write another Jade WestxFemReader story? I had an idea for stories where Jade and reader like each other for a long time, but both are afraid to make the first move. They're at Cat's girls' sleepover, it's late at night, and the topics of conversation are getting more intimate. As a result of the conversation, reader embarrassedly confesses that she has never kissed or been in a relationship with anyone. Jade listens carefully but pretends to be uninterested. A few days later at school she drags reader to the janitor's locker and kisses... Please I'm desperate for more Jade stories heh

Sleepover success

Jade west x fem!reader (romantic) cat valentine x reader (platonic), Jade west x cat valentine (platonic)

Warnings: fluff :)

You were outside of cats house nervous to go inside. The only people who were going to be there would be you, cat, and your long time crush Jade west. You were beyond nervous and that was because of her, she could just look at you and your heart melts. You’ve never felt this way toward someone before and you are scared, but hopefully this little crush will be over soon.

You walked up to the door and knocked on it three times. The door swings open and cat stands there’s squealing. “Hi y/n! I’m so glad you are here! Jade is inside cutting up paper with scissors while we tell each other our deep dark secrets!” Cat said innocently and you walked inside her home with Jade doing just as cat said she was doing. “Hey Jade.” You shyly greeted her and Jade gave you a small smirk, noticing how nervous you are. “Hey.” She said as you sat down on the floor near her with cat sitting on the other side of y’all.

It was around midnight as the three of you were telling each other embarrassing things. Cat kept telling stories about her brother and Jade was telling about stuff she hates and witnesses. It was your turn and you thought nothing of it when you said “I’ve never had a girlfriend before, let alone kiss anyone.” You shyly said and cat gasped loudly at you while Jade kept staring at you. “WHY HAVENT YOU KISSED ANYONE?” Cat exclaimed shocked and you just shrugged your shoulders “I guess I haven’t found the right one yet.” You said, dropping the new gold secret about you.

~ the next few days ~

It was after third period where everyone went back to get their things, you walked back to your locker to get your textbook, folders, etc. When all of a sudden someone is dragging you somewhere and you looked up to see Jade dragging you by your arm. “Jade? What are you doing?” You asked her but she stayed silent as she kept dragging you to what seemed like the janitors closet. She swung it open and locked the door behind her. “Jade what are we doing he-“ you try to say but her lips softly colliding against yours stopped you before you could ask what was going on. You stood frozen for a few seconds until it hit you that your crush Jade west was right here kissing you.

You immediately kissed her back even though you don’t think you were doing it right but Jade hasn’t pulled back quite yet so maybe you were doing good. After a few moments you were the one to pull back first. You looked up at jade and saw her green eyes staring back softly at you. You’ve never seen Jade like this, so soft and not terrifying. Jade took your hands in hers carefully and held them “how was that for your first kiss?” She asked you and your face was already blushing from the kiss. “It was really good….” You admitted to her and she smiled cockily. “Are you sure you’ve never kissed anyone before?” She asked you and you nodded your head yes. “Yeah I’m pretty sure.” You giggled and Jade chuckled. “Well for your first time that was really good.” Jade explained with her smirk and you gave her a grateful smile.

“I hope that’s not our last kiss thought Jade…I really like you…” you said as you kept talking you got quieter and quieter. Jade gave you a small smile “I like you too y/n…a lot actually…when I heard you’ve never been in a relationship before and have never kissed anyone before I know I had to take my chance. Y/n…go on a date with me.” She slightly demanded you and you giggled. “I would love to.” You stated shyly and she gave you a smirk as she unlocked the door and had her arm around your shoulders as y’all walked out, heading to the same class.

A/n: I hope the anon who requested this enjoys it and I hope that y’all enjoyed it too! New years request are open for all the characters I write and remember to stay hydrated and to rest. I love y’all!

[yjhgvf]

Good Day, how has life been treating you? I hope it has been good. I personally had a bad last few weeks, So as a way to destress I am gushing random ideas I had about the Cage fighting 4 Kids AU/Concept since I havent spoke with anyone about these ideas and I desire to gush.

-I thought of how the entire concept as a whole would likely put into question Milli's morals in regards of being a hero. Especially if she is someone who isn't exactly eager to fight people in physical fisticuffs. Maybe she even badly hurts someone by accident instead of just dispatching them safely which would probably make Milli feel really bad about herself because she's meant to help people, but she just hurt someone for real. (Additionally worsened by my headcanon of Milli's strength being something with negative connotations to it because she hurt her family with it.)

-I thought of a combatant in the fight pit that would be someone that Milli's strength would not make it an easy win to deal with them. Basically someone that is physically stronger than even Milli's strength allows her to be, putting her in a genuinely dangerous situation and making Milli realise the stakes here. So I went with a mantis shrimp + Pistol Shrimp fusion. Look them up and you'll know why.

-A cool idea I thought of was for Milli to use her pattern power to turn her disguised suit into her other Gimmick or trope based Costumes (Knight, Cop, Ninja, etc.) Alongside any gear associated with that costume. Mostly because it'd make certain fights more interesting as Milli would be able to change the course of a fight by sorta swapping around different costumes. (Maybe some would have specific advantages she needs to make use of, also because themeing for other fights.)

-Not really anything about this AU/Concept, But I do hope you are having a good day. If you are unfortunately not, I send you good vibes. Even if you are having a good day, I still send good vibes. Everyone that sees this gets good vibes too. Good Vibes for everyone.

-fun fact: I am writing a Fanfic about this and have like every fight scene replaying in my head and are memorized consistently to perfection. I'm stuck at writing the buildup to the fight pit in the first place. I just think this is funny as heck.

My week's been getting better! My finals are done so i'm on christmas break! Been playing binding of isaac, pikmin 4, and dandy's world a lot lately!

Also AAAAH I love your cage fighting 4 kids ideas!!!!! I can't wait to see the fic once it comes out! I love the costume swapping idea too, reminds me of Princess Peach Showtime!

[pseudowho]

hiii its me again, saw your recent posts about the original novel. it has bodyguards and slowburn and the first break of the tension is with some good ol dry humping?? i feel like a victorian man seeing wrists and ankles, it must be godly considering i think (very wild and very out there assumption im sorry) your specialty (or at least very proficient at it) is building up the tension and breaking it.

"They come to me by nature; they are altered through nurture." can i just say that you treat your OCs like a mother would orrrr like a very wild plant mom; do they get away from you sometimes and write the story themselves or do u leash them and tell them to play by your storyline?? bc if u somehow found a way to leash your characters into following your plot outline, pls share oh great mother

anwww still havent read if u have any new fics but i will be deep diving in your blog for the night again, i hope u are having a great day/night/noon/witching hour/twilight 😔🙏

— 🐲

It does! The main character ends up unwillingly paired with a 'bodyguard' type character (I can't give too much away), and he's the last man on earth she would have chosen, for reasons.

Turns out they're made for each other. Expect lots of banter, frenemies, genuinely funny and heartfelt growth as a pair, until they become utterly inseparable and massively mutually pining for each other.

In terms of 'leashing' them, no. Their interactions guide their choices, and I write the story around them. For instance, the villain has been forced to alter the way in which he reveals himself, because their shrewd investigations have forced his hand.

The thing is, I knew the plot from the start, in that I knew the bad thing that was happening in this Universe, I knew the creatures they would be fighting and when, and the rest all comes in the minutiae.

I know about 90% more of the wider Universe than goes into the book; there's an element, when writing, that the author always knows more than technically comes in at any given point. This is for a few reasons; 1. Then you know how to use as few words as possible to make your point subtly, and 2. The reader doesn't just want to read a text block of minutiae; best show them the detail, in events and interactions, rather than tell them.

Either way...if you must LEASH your characters to MAKE them tell the story you want it told, does your character have character and autonomy, or are you a god playing with marionettes?

This is a crucial difference between those able to write three dimensional characters with agency, and those who could write anyone, anyone, to shoehorn into a plotline.

Just thoughts...

...but, thank you. So much. Honestly.

I think about the world I've built constantly.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[dire-straits-fn8ic]

i feel like i was raised with the “you can do anything if you work hard enough” mindset but maybe to a bit of an unhealthy level, especially with my undiagnosed til college ADHD making a lot of baseline function a pretty bad struggle.

and so i’d kind of internalized it as that if i cant achieve something that i’m Bad and Lazy and that i Didnt Care About It Enough.

which obviously didnt go well in my crashing and burning and failing all my classes and dropping out era of college

and then i learned to accept the mentality of that there are many things that i’m bad at and that’s okay! i’m just one person with ADHD and failing at things sometimes is totally normal and my struggles don’t make me lazy and a bad person

and this was a huge boost to my mental health to free myself from that type of impossible expectation hanging over me. and adults in my life have definitely reacted negatively to this and thought that me saying that i’m bad at things is a sad mindset. but it’s not! it’s brought me a lot of happiness to be able to rebalance the scales of what success means to me.

i’m bad at things and it’s freeing to not feel like any struggle is a personal failing but just another part of life.

and this all came from the fallout of spending my whole life pushed along the path of “go to school, get into a good college, go to college, graduate, get a career in your field” and then crashing and burning and having a mental breakdown and dropping out and having to pick up the pieces of my identity from the rubble.

and the signs of my downfall are so obvious retroactively, like ever since elementary school struggling to keep any sort of organizational system to track my assignments and constantly forgetting homework. from middle school onwards always having many missing assignments that i’d frantically try to finish in the last couple days of the semester. i got diagnosed with ADHD after high school but didn’t attempt treatment til year like 2 or 3 of college, and then the medications i was put on werent any sort of miracle cure so i gave up after a month and continued to struggle to do college.

i was pushed to take a heavy course load so i could finish in a shorter amount of time. i wanted to dive deep into my major so i took a bunch of computer science classes and put off taking gen eds when i could. i started failing computer science classes. i was constantly missing assignments in everything as usual. i stopped being able to focus enough while at the computer to do any computer-based assignment, which would be a struggle in any major but an insurmountable obstacle for a programmer. in my last semester i was employed 10 hours a week at the start and quickly got past the point of where even without the job i would have struggled to pass all of my classes. so i quit the job and spent the next few months trying and failing to recover or even stay afloat on assignments. i couldn’t do my homework no matter how much i stared at the screen. one time i got drunk and did a homework assignment and figured that maybe that was repeatable so the next couple nights i tried drinking and doing homework and it didnt work and i was crying and trying to drink beer and trying to do an assignment and stared down what was clearly a dark depressed alcoholic path and finally knew i had to drop out like i had been wanting to do for years. i dropped out. my family spent years telling me that i need to go back but thankfully i havent, and now they only tell me that sometimes.

so yeah i’m often bad at things and that’s not a doomer mindset it’s actually a happy beautiful reclamation of my ability to try things and not feel bad if i fail. Because ive gone down a path of feeling like success is the only option, and it was a horrible one. and it didn’t even lead me to success but even if it worked it would be horrible.

[heymeowmao]

2024.04.29 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321325028561374544131

I'll stream for a while then go~~

bgm: 落了白 (Falling White) - Jiang Xue’er

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning. Welcome to my livestream~ Long time no see. I feel like I haven’t seen you in a long time, so I wanted to have a nice chat with you before my next drama starts airing. C: Act more normal. LYN: I’m not acting abnormal?? Are you starting to have something against me, now? Is it that you havent seen me in too long so I feel unfamiliar? I’m being very normal right now, and you want me to “act more normal”? What counts as “normal”? C: Ning-ge, you’re so gentle. LYN: In your hearts am I a very fierce and cruel person? Or do I normally have a bad temper and I yell a lot? No, right? I’ve always been this gentle.

C: The sound is much lower. LYN: /speaks directly into the mic/ Is it too low? I just need to pull the mic closer. 

C: You haven’t eaten, so you have no strength? LYN: No, I’ve eaten. I had a meal before starting the stream. I ordered some takeout. Otherwise I was afraid I would pass out in the middle of the stream. I ate something before I started.

C: Don’t be so gentle. I feel uncomfortable when you’re not backtalking at me. LYN: Are you sadistic? You need me to backtalk you in order to feel comfortable? That’s weird. 

LYN: I don’t know if I’ll have the time to stream once filming starts up, because shooting a drama keeps me pretty busy. My last drama ZLYM- I actually didn’t have that many scenes. I had very few, and I didn’t have time to stream. I’ll have more scenes in this drama (SJYM/A Dream Within A Dream), so if I had to predict then… I would have even less time to stream. Today’s stream is a preemptive measure- so that you’ll be aware that my future streaming schedule will not be very frequent. Please understand.

bgm: 狂風襲來 (Fierce Wind Raid) - West Out of Yumen/Parallel World OST

LYN: I have a lot to do. If I were only an actor I would probably have more time. But I can’t let go of music, and there’s also the streaming so… I don’t have enough time. I guess I’m also getting older, too… C: You also have variety shows. LYN: The Truth is almost finished- I’ll go one more time and we’ll be done shooting for it. After that, I’ll stay in the drama crew a while. I just need to go to shoot The Truth one more time- a two-day session, then it’s over. LYN: It’s a variety show I like a lot. I went to the first season, and the people there were great. Honestly, I rarely make friends. I can only make some if I’m working with them, shooting a drama or variety show together. I made a lot of friends after shooting season 1, and I’ve made a lot of friends after this season as well. Of course, some of those friends are already old friends. Zhou Keyu and Bai Yu, for example. We shot the first season together. I’m close with Reba, because we’ve worked together twice already. This variety show counts as our third partnership. Now there’s Zhang Linghe and Xun-ge. Xun-ge, I actually did work with before, but that was just roughly. Jin Jing also came to film with us this season. It’s nice to be able to make some friends. It’s a happy thing. Later I will be properly focused on shooting the drama and I won’t have much of anything else going on. 

LYN: There are people making fun of me for being scared. Friends. You already saw how scared I got when we shot the prologue. Friends- you might not understand. I was pretending on purpose. Honestly, I wasn’t scared one bit. I wasn’t afraid. I was pretending. Pretending to be cute. I was thinking since my face is so old, if I acted a little cute, would it make the viewers like me a little more? I was just pretending. You can see my performance in the later episodes. I stop pretending, then. I come clean. Don’t believe in what you see, I was just pretending. Pretending to be scared. What’s there to be afraid of? It’s not scary. Just watch me in the later episodes- there’s not one shred of fear in me. Yeah… really. Believe me. C: I can’t believe you at all. LYN: Believe me. I’m not afraid at all, later. You’ll see. 

LYN: The second season should be a pretty good watch. We could tell when we were shooting it- it’s actually very interesting. We’re a good group of people and we had fun together. The other thing is that I don’t record variety shows often- I don’t much have the time, and there are few I want to be on- so when I am on a show I’m always very happy. I’m happy and relaxed. When I’m not too busy with work, I can find a fun project. While I’m playing, it also counts as work which is nice. I was happy to record this variety show. LYN: Every time I go to record for a variety show, I- 

bgm: Truthfully = A1 Trip/DOBI

LYN:  When I go to record for a variety show, when the time comes for it to end, I feel like I don’t want to let it go. I feel like I only just got close with my new friends and we’d only just worked out how to get along. We’d only just reached the point where we could rely on each other, so having to part with them makes me sad. So… the last time we recorded, I had asked the producer, “Will this program have a season three?” They said, “There will be.” I told them, “I remember the last season, I asked you this same question. You made me wait three years.” /sigh/ And then I asked, “What about the third season?” They told me the third season would come quickly. I replied, “Does it depend on how well this season rates? If KSTLB2 flops, would a third season be hard to pull off?” They did not respond. They used silence as the answer. LYN: The moment they lowered their head I understood. I saw clearly the truth of the situation. The cruelty of it. So, friends, when KSTLB2 starts airing, I hope that each one of you here can promote this very good variety show, this easily consumable variety show, this show that makes you think, this show with a group of youthful and good-looking men and women- to your parents and elders, and brothers and sisters. Okay? Thank you, everyone.

C: I’ve watched the whole first season and can tell you all about it from memory. Looking forward to S2. LYN: There’s a problem with S2… wait- would saying this be bad for the program? /laughs/ The gameplay of the second season is different from the first. Our trust will be on thinner ice. Our mutual trust in one another- that friendliness and closeness one feels upon first meeting- will come back to hit us in the face. For example, when we first see each other: “Good morning! How did you sleep? Not bad? Let’s see what we’ve got for us today. I hope we can solve the mystery quickly.” We’re smiling and everyone’s faces are full of… kindness. But once this game starts- there are five fixed players and each week we’ll get a guest sixth- there’s a murderer among the six of us in each episode. So… the whole process is just us suspecting one another. Indiscriminately suspecting, indiscriminately provoking, indiscriminately attacking. Which leads to…

LYN: Last week, I know you saw me wearing a red wig, right? I’m telling this to my fans, since they would probably follow the spoilers about me- I recorded an episode in a red wig. While we were recording that episode, BY kept singling me out. He kept saying, “LYN’s not normal today.” “Liu-ge, you’re not normal today. This is too out of the ordinary. I have a feeling you’re the murderer.” I asked, “Why?” He said, “Because you’re not talking. This is too different from normal. You haven’t spoken a word all day.” I replied, “It’s not that I don’t want to talk, it’s because my hair is being pulled too tightly. The wig is too tight and it’s affecting my ability to think and respond to people normally. Those functions have disappeared. They suffocated.” Half an hour with that wig was okay. Over an hour and it’s a headache. I feel like it was leaving stress marks on my skull. I filmed with it for several hours. After that day I felt like my soul was squeezed out. I was trying to explain to him, “My wig hurts too much. It’s so uncomfortable. I know it looks good, but the cost is too great. It hurts so much.” He said, “I don’t believe you. We’re all adults. How could a person as smart as I am be tricked by your excuses? I’m right. You are the murderer.” Of course, I can’t tell you if he guessed right or wrong. :) LYN: You can imagine- The wig starts from here, and it’s wrapped around your whole head. All that’s left is a mouth. XD It separates your brain from your mouth- do you know that feeling? It’s like a barrier in the middle. Your thinking, logic, and speech is no longer under your brain’s control. 

C: What are you drinking? LYN: Tea. It’s uh... some tea.

C: How many episodes is KSTLB? LYN: It should be around 10 or so? I think it’s 10, and they’re spilt between part 1 and part 2. I’m not sure. Are parts 1 and 2 aired on the same day? I’m not clear on the specifics. They only gave ten episode’s worth of pay. XD I’m guessing how many episodes there are based on how many episode’s worth I was paid for. 

C: How much do you get paid an episode? LYN: /whispers/ What’s it to you? Does it have anything to do with you? LYN: Also- they pay you for this variety show? I had to buy tickets to get inside. It’s a restricted area and you normally need a ticket to get inside. I bought tickets. They pay? I didn’t know! The production team didn’t tell me. Next time I’ll ask the other guests if they were paid to come on the show. At the time, they told me that if I wanted to be on the program I’d have to send the producer a 200rmb red envelope. I thought about it for three days and in the end I didn’t send it. They were supposed to give me money? Wasn’t it that I had to pay to be able to be on it??

C: If I give 400rmb, can I go in and be a ghost? LYN: You want to be an NPC? You want to PAY to be an NPC? I don’t think you can do that.

C: Is Zhuo Bufan coming? LYN: I saw online that Heroes (Tian Xing Jian) would air on May 4th. I think it’s fake news. I saw the posts- someone online said that TXJ would air on 5/4 and many of my fans were discussing it, saying, “Waa~ ZBF is coming!!” I think it’s fake news. Why? Because they only send me the OST yesterday. They send me the OST yesterday, and I need to go record it. Think about it- the OST isn’t even recorded yet, so how can it air?? So that’s… probably false.

LYN: Later when I’m not doing this job anymore, I can… become an yxh that knows more accurate information than any other yxh. C: Ning-ge, it seems like you would be happy to do it. LYN: No- I’m just saying some nonsense!! It looks to me like being an yxh is really easy, is all. If I want to do it, I’m sure that I could be successful at it. I could be big. Even a media company. I think I can make it. You’ve just got to think of different paths. Being in more than one industry is useful.

- /hears some banging from upstairs?/ LYN: ??? - C: Let us know when you’re looking for employees. LYN: Ok. - C: What’s that sound? LYN: I think the upstairs neighbors are fighting. I don’t know who lives up there, but sometimes in the middle of the night I’ll hear things falling on the floor. There are always some sounds that rouse me. But it’s okay because I always make noise for other people, too. I can sit here in the night listening to music and no one complains about me. So if other people bang and drop things on the floor, I won’t complain about them either. But these past few days I’ve gathered that the people upstairs are playing mahjong. The sound is of the tiles hitting the floor. I’m guessing that after the machine shuffled the tiles they accidentally drop the tray of tiles on the floor. They were probably about to win, got excited, and their tiles dropped.

bgm: 天光 (Heaven Light) - Chongzi OST

LYN: I went to record a song the other day. It’s one I sang with another person, and it should probably be released in a few days. It’s… you’ll know when you hear it. It was a pretty good job, so when it comes out please pay it some attention. I’ve sung a song with someone, and it’ll come out in a few days. I’ve actually done a lot of things in secret.   

C: I’ve finally caught up to a fresh stream. LYN: Alrighty. A “fresh” stream is nice.

C: Lao-da, talk about your music variety. LYN: The thing on Jiangsu Satellite TV? (音乐潮计划/Music Wave Project) We’re still in talks about it, but if there’s any progress I’ll let you know.

C: When is KSTLB officially airing? LYN: This, I really don’t know. Even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. So don’t ask me. You can just wait for the news. It should be soon, because I know the first couple of episodes are already made. There’s a… song that we recorded and they’ve sent that to us to listen to as well. 

----- Bodhi Seeds > Walnuts

C: I saw the walnuts. LYN: Lately I’ve gotten into polishing walnuts. I don’t know if any of you are like me- once you start with something, you start also thinking about how you can apply it to other things. One thing at a time, you start buying more and more. The more you see, the more easily you buy it. Are any of you like that? There’s just more and more. I can’t stop myself. In the past two years, when I first got into it, I was handling bodhi seeds (passionfruit hashplant). I kept buying them, of all sorts of different varieties. After playing with those for a couple of days, I didn’t find it fun anymore and gave them away to my friends and staff. At a certain point, I had enough of playing with the bodhi seeds. I started playing with Xingyue bodhi. I kept buying them, of all sorts- /describes the types/- and when I was done with them I gave them away. Then I spent a little more and started playing with the Fengyan bodhi. Fengyan bodhi are- to my understanding- the more expensive of the bodhi types. The pricing is actually a little ridiculously expensive. You see me wearing a strand around a lot. (People comment on the price of them, and he just wants you to know they’re a more expensive/higher grade.) Don’t call then cheaper than they are. LYN: At first I bought a 9mm-108 strand, but no matter how I handled it, I felt like they were too big so I gave them away. How did I do it? I separated it into three sections, and gave the two smaller sections to friends. There was a longer strand and the last time Da Fei-ge came for the Carnation Music Festival, right? When they came, I gave Ah Zhuo a strand of Passion Bodhi seeds. Then I gave a larger set of Qilingyan- a lot of you probably don’t know what I’m talking about. I gave him a set of Qilingyan, but he also wanted a set of smaller ones so I gave him that longer section of the Fengyan. After that, I started playing with the 8mm, not 9mm. Now I’ve moved on to the Jingang bodhi. It’s not particular, and I can play with it however I want.

LYN: And nowadays I’ve set my sights on walnuts. I’ve bought a bunch like the baishizi, guanmo, hamatou, and whatnot. I kept buying them, so now I’ve started to polish them. 

C: You’re a health and wellness streamer. (?) LYN: I’m not. But if I brought you my box of beads to show you, you would really think I am. C: Show us. LYN: Nah. - /makes a comment that he really shouldn’t be playing anymore because it’s a waste of money and it’s addicting./ - [t/n: I got lost, so this is the best I could do.]

LYN: I think I’m going to stop at walnuts, though. One day I was recording for the show and I told ZLH I was starting to polish walnuts. When we’re there, both as guests, isn’t it a good thing to try and find common topics of conversation and get some screentime? Friends- in your life and work, if you want to get closer to a person you have to find a topic of conversation that the other person enjoys talking about. For example, if they like talking about skiing, you can ask them about it. Through this topic, you can speak more to each other and understand one another better. So that day I struck up conversation with him, “ZLH. I’ve started to polish with walnuts lately. I heard it’s also a hobby of yours?” But it wasn’t because I knew that he polished them that I started! I just coincidentally saw that it was related to him, so I asked him about it. But he said, “I don’t polish them.” I said, “Oh?? Then…” It was a little embarrassing. “I heard that your fans are called “Walnuts”? I thought that because you liked to play with them, your fans started calling themselves that as a linkage.” Because people who like to play with the walnuts polish/rub them, so I thought his fans called themselves “Walnuts”. But… (that’s not the case). It was pretty awkward. C: Why would you make that connection? LYN: Because a lot of you tell me to stop playing with the beads and to play with you instead! I thought it was some preference for fans to adopt the name of the thing that their favorite artist likes. For example, some artist likes driving cars, so their fans would call themselves “Little Cars”. I don’t know if that’s actually a thing, though? Like, “Don’t drive cars, drive me instead.”?? 

C: Ning-ge, then we are called “chuan” (串)]! LYN: This name isn’t really good… C: Then from now on we will be called “chuan-jie”. LYN: No, no. It’s not a good name. “Chuan” isn’t normally used to describe humans. It’s used to describe… other things. So please, friends, don’t stick yourself with nonsensical labels. 

bgm: Young Captain队长 & ODD Chen Sijian - 超感 (Super Sense)

LYN: Some of you don’t get what “chuan” means, right? It’s used to describe small dogs. I’m explaining because you don’t get it, I don’t mean to insult you. It’s just that someone asked me what it meant, so I’m letting you know. “Chuan” is typically used to describe animals like small dogs. Let’s say you have a dog and it’s a golden retriever. If it has a pup with a samoyed, that mixed-breed would be called a “chuan.” If I say it like that, do you get it now? It mean it’s a mixed-breed. Yeah… That’s how people usually use the term. 

-----

C: We’re called “Yang Di.” LYN: XD I saw your comments on that. Did it air yesterday or today? I forgot. Hello Saturday. Oh, it was the day before yesterday. I was partnered up with YD and there were some activities that required me tohold on to him. And then- - LYN: Wait- hold on. I just saw a comment that read, “Did you do cosmetic surgery again?” Hey- where do you think I look good? :) Do you think that I am better looking in some way? Where? Tell me. Say it out loud. Tell me. I want to know. Someone just asked if I had cosmetic surgery, so I want to know where they think I look nicer. Hm? - *clicks his tongue* C: Your eyes look prettier. // You eyes are bigger. LYN: Did I get double-eyelid surgery?? I opened up the corners of my eyes? C: Your skin looks more exquisite. LYN: No- that’s because of the beauty filter. LYN: I didn’t get surgery. I wouldn’t have the time to recover. Also I don’t think that cosmetic surgery can save me. If I want to change myself- change this face- I’d have to change my whole head. A project so small as cosmetic surgery can���t save me anymore. - LYN: Continuing on with YD, for the game I had to hold on to him, right? I saw there were some of you who wished you could become him. You really… Did you know in fighting there’s this method called- called… /has to do the action to get the word/ a headlock? Normally, I think a person would pass out within five seconds if they were really subject to one. 

LYN: It’s kind of hot. Let me turn on the AC. I’ll go turn on the AC. Watch a video first, and I’ll  use the restroom while I’m up. Let me find something. There are a lot of new videos but I haven’t saved them. I’m sure you’ve already seen enough of the ones I already have. 

---------- Break #1 - 52:35-52:45 Daimi Time! LYN: Is this what they mean when they say “so hot you become a dog”? “Hot like a dog”. Is this what they mean? /to Daimi/ I’m talking about you. It’s okay- you can open your mouth to pant. It’s okay. Continue. LYN: She just got back from a bath. My ge sent her back. She just went for a wash so now she's excited. We’ve given her a blow-dry so her fur is fluffy. C: She looks quite heavy.

LYN: Yes. C: How many kgs is she? LYN: I think she’s about 14kg now.

C: The mic receiver is too good. LYN: Yes, nowadays mics are really good.

LYN: Let me sing a song! What do you want to hear? I’ll sing it. LYN: This song is good. Let me gift it to all of you and I hope that if any of you are lost in the dark and can’t find your way, you can find you light in the darkness. This song is for you.

-- 黑夜一束光 (Praying)

LYN: I heard a song the other day I really liked, so I want to sing it. /looking it up/ Oh, that’s what it’s called. … There’s no arrangement for it. I was thinking I would sing it for fun, but there’s no track for it. LYN: ??? Why is there so much white noise?? /troubleshooting/ Let me turn off the AC. LYN: /testing/ Oh, whatever. I don’t care. Let there be white noise. It’s not the sound of rain.

bgm: 世世 (Lifetime) - The Legend of Shen Li OST

C: I want to hear 啊默契 (Till the End) LYN: Okay. I can sing that. - /starts/ /stops/ LYN: Hold on. Sorry, let me start again. -- 啊默契 (Till the End)

bgm: 撞地球 (Earth Collision) by Yu Er Qi

LYN: Let me drink some water, hold on. C: 昨日少年 (Youth of Yesterday) LYN: /sings(?) it/

C: When will you get a new drama? LYN: You- you must not be my fan. Of course, it’s okay even if you’re not my fan. There’s still a chance- a slim chance that you could still become one. My next drama starts filming tomorrow. Today is night before recording starts and I will officially start my new role tomorrow. 

C: Use that style of singing to sing 奉上 (Offer). LYN: /does it/ LYN: I usually sing just like this, and what you hear when it’s released is what they’ve fixed during editing and production. This is how I usually sing. LYN: /sings more/ LYN: Isn’t it nice? It’s perfection. -- 奉上 (Offer) - A Journey to Love OST (tone deaf ver.) -- 奉上 (Offer) - A Journey to Love OST (ft. Daimi)

-- 一念关山 (A Journey to Love) by Richie Jen LYN: ?! Is it going to keep playing? 

-- 立剑 (Establish A Sword) by Zhang Jie Daimi: /barking/ LYN: /to Daimi/ Have you gone crazy? Huh!? What are you barking for?? LYN: I don’t really know this song ^^; Also the key is too high. It’s too high. I remember there was a previous stream in which I swore I would never sing Zhang Jie-laoshi’s songs again. Because they are too high. There’s no need to make things difficult for myself, you know?

-- 别梦寒 (Don’t Dream of the Cold) LYN: This song tires me out. I don’t really have the strength to sing this one. I can’t sing it. 

LYN: I can sing OSTs today! Let me see what OSTs LYN has sung… C: 拂晓 (Dawn) LYN: The one that just came out, right? Harbin 1944 (In the Name of the Brother)? -- 拂晓 (Dawn) - Harbin 1944/In the Name of the Brother OST LYN: Thank you. C: This song is amazing. LYN: When I received this OST, the main reason I accepted was because I haven’t released this type of song lately. I haven’t had this style of song, and it was quite nice sounding, so I accepted it. 

LYN: Am I trending? For real? I’m such a small-fry artist, but I have the honor to be trending? I don’t believe it. Let me find another OST… LYN: Hold on… there’s no rush… - /hums a little of 如果爱还记得 (If Love Still Remembers) - Wonderland of Love OST/ LYN: I know what to sing. I should sing this, shouldn’t I? By all means, I should sing it. (bc LYT is the lead ) -- 朝暮 (Morning and Evening) - Warm on a Cold Night OST LYN: Thank you. C: What song is this? LYN: I can’t believe so many of you are asking what song this is. My fans all know it, right? If you don’t know, then I think that’s also okay, because I release a lot of songs so if you can’t remember them, that’s fine.

C: Trending in the Entertainment tab at 32. LYN: It’s all positive, right? What I mean by that is no one is in there hating on me, right? “What gives LYN the right? When he looks so ugly??” It’s nothing like that, right? What are the contents of the trending topic at 32, friends? It’s not a new “melon” that says I’m in a new drama and who I’m acting alongside, and the comments are all people asking “What gives LYN the right?”, right? C: It’s positive. LYN: Oh, okay. Then it won’t get a very high ranking. I’ll drop off of it in a bit. C: It’s “LYN_Livestream”. LYN: That’s okay, then. I’ll drop off of it later. Usually all the topics that are hating on me rise up in ranks quickly. But for a small-fry like me, just being trending is thanks enough. I’m thankful to have you.

C: I want to hear 愿光 (Wish Light). LYN: Let me see if I have it. I really haven’t sung this live before, have I? I can’t sing it, because it’s not on this platform… Forget it. I won’t sing it, then. I won’t open the other app because it’s complicated to go between them.

LYN: There is one song I really like! I don’t think I’ve sung it before. Sometimes I don’t sing them live because I’m afraid that I won’t be able to. There are some songs that I know while I’m recording them are so difficult to sing and record. When I look back on them, I’m afraid to sing them because I’m afraid I won’t be able to pull it off. Oh, but there isn’t a track for this song. - 隐侠 (Hidden Hero) - 赘婿 (Zhui Xu/My Heroic Husband) Donghua Opening Theme LYN: Let’s forget it, since there’s no track for it.

LYN: This works, right? It’s also an OST. If I’m remembering correctly it’s for the Palace Museum, right? An OST to promote the Palace Museum… I really like this song. It’s about the inheritance of our national treasures. -- 传承 (Inheritance) - Palace Museum Cultural Relics Promotion Song

C: 千里江山 (The Vast Land) LYN: I can do that.

C: 一生有多远 (How Long is a Lifetime) LYN: How does that one go? It’s one of my songs, right? /looks it up/ Oh, it is my song. You know what is suitable for this song? If you have a cup of coffee- oh, no. Coffee doesn’t work. It’s a more nostalgic song. I don’t think I’ve ever sung this live. Let me give it a try. Actually I don’t remember if I have sung it or not. I forgot. I can try. - /misses the timing/ LYN: The mic just broke. There was just a little problem with it. Excuse me. It’ll be good in a sec. Let me make adjustments. Sorry. Yeah, the stream froze. - /water asmr/ LYN: Let me try that again. Apologies. - /Daimi starts barking & growling/ LYN: ?!? LYN: She’s trying to steal my limelight. /sigh/ - /walnut asmr/ LYN: Is the sound of them loud? D: /growl/ LYN: Shush! -- 一生有多远 (How Long is a Lifetime) - The Curious Tale of Mr. Guo LYN: Sorry- I’m not really familiar with this song. I’ve already forgotten it; it’s been too long. Next time I’ll learn it properly and sing it for you. Sorry. /keeps apologizing/ C: It froze! LYN: It didn’t freeze, I just forgot how to sing it. It’s been way too long! And I haven’t ever sung it. Sorry.

LYN: Let me see what else I have… what other OSTs. /types in “OST”/ Oops. I meant to type “LYN”. /sigh/ - 专属蓝天 (Always Be With You) - Dance of the Storm OST - 烟火星辰 (Fireworks and Stars) - You Are My Glory OST LYN: This will do. - /narrates/ -- 莫问前程 (Don’t Ask About the Future) - White Cat Legend OST LYN: Thank you. How awesome is this song?!

C: 向死而生 (Live to Die) LYN: I don’t think I can sing it live. I’d have to be in really great condition to be able to pull it off. When I finish singing that song I “want to die”. (向死 (towards death) vs 想死 (thinking of death) - homophonic joke) I really like the song, I really do. But it kind of makes me “want to die” when I sing it. Let me see… How about I give it a try? -- 向死而生 (Live to Die) - Burning Flames OST - /cracks at the chorus/ /clears his throat/ LYN: The mic broke a little just now. It’s super unstable. Let me try again. -- 向死而生 (Live to Die) - Burning Flames OST [take 2] - /pulls off the chorus this time/ /clicks his tongue/ /finishes up with minimal difficulty/

C: Let’s chat. LYN: /nods/ Ok.

-----------

bgm: Fall in Love

LYN: I want to thank everyone who is watching my stream right now. If at this moment you have not subscribed to my weibo, please do so. Thank you. I know many of you might be watching my stream for the first time. It’s nothing special and there’s no particular uniform. I just come when I have some time and chat with my fans, sing a few songs, and help everyone relax a little. That’s all.

C: How do I send presents? LYN: My presents are closed, here. This stream is a benefit for you all. You don’t need to spend a dime for it. But I hope that one day when I have a concert, you have enough money to buy a ticket and see me live. Okay? Thank you.

C: Ning-ge, when will you start filming? LYN: I start tomorrow, but I don’t know when the official “start” date is. I’m not sure because I don’t really care about that type of thing. As an actor, all I need to do is work on pulling off my scenes well. As for promotion… /trails off/

C: When you were being interviewed didn’t you tell us “Just you wait” because you were going to scare us? LYN: I wanted to at first, but I thought about it and decided to forget it. I thought about scaring you by telling you I was going to stream tonight, and then not streaming. Do you think that type of scare is big or not?

C: Why didn’t you sing this song on Hello Saturday? LYN: Right- because I needed to sing a song with a “beverage” in the lyrics, right? “Whiskey and ice, my music and you.” You’re right. I didn’t think of it. There were too many songs, I couldn’t react quickly enough. 

LYN: The thing I like about streaming on weibo is that it is always upgrading with new functions. Many of you have the special effects, when you type. You can also turn the special effects off, so it won’t affect your typing. In the menu, you can select to turn off the special effects.

C: Ning-ge, will  KSTLB still have a press conference? LYN: The Truth… press conference… we recorded it already, that day. There are spoilers online, aren’t there? Of us wearing school uniform-style? That’s the press conference and it will probably be aired later. I don’t know. I’m sure it will at some point. The program prepared a huge amount of content. Other than the main episodes, we recorded a lot of… other stuff.

bgm: 万物盛开法则 (The Law of Everything in Bloom) - Da Zhangwei

C: Is  KSTLB2 scary? LYN: It’s terrifying. But I was not afraid. This time around I show a very manly side to myself. I’m more firm this time, because I’ve already seen through all of the program’s tricks. LYN: I was only scared into crying, is all. LYN: It’s okay. You can watch when it comes out. It’s quite fun.

C: Lao-da, please I’m begging you to flip me. LYN: I’ve flipped you.

C: Tell me, is Reba really beautiful in person? LYN: /laughing/ Why are you spamming that? There’s really no meaning in you doing that. There’s no point. Other than someone who’s “250” (a fool or someone who doesn’t take things seriously) like me, no one else would dare to respond. LYN: The way I see it, if you only think of a girl in terms of “pretty” or “not pretty”, then I think you’re really shallow. Do you understand? My stance is that if you only care about her appearance and not her mind, then you’re a little shallow.

LYN: My hope for KSTLB2 is that- Ive said before that it’s a program that I really like. We had great time shooting the first season. When it aired us cast and viewers had a great time watching. There was a great atmosphere around it. I hope that this time the atmosphere will be equally as good. Because… when you record together for a few days you start to develop this inexplicable group cohesion. I hope that when you’re watching- to my fans, at least- you don’t watch with a competitive eye. You’re not watching to compare who is better looking or smarter than the others- it’s not that type of show. We’re watching for entertainment, and relaxation is the key. If you’re watching with any intentions in mind, you won’t be able to “see” anything. 

C: You look a little like LYN. LYN: Really? I get that a lot. 

C: Did you have fun playing with water on Hello Saturday? LYN: It was quite fun, actually! Last time I went to Changsha I had the time to shoot two episodes. The crew is really great. If there’s any ever plans for fun content for the show, they will contact my studio to see if I have time and am interested in going to play. We’re having fun. I’m pretty close with the group, too. Before, I was always in the drama crew and didn’t dare to go. But this time I happened to have two day’s worth of time, so I asked them how many episodes they were planning to record for. They told me they were recording two episodes, so I asked if I could do both. I was going to be in Changsha anyway, so if I could record two eps in the same trip, wouldn’t that be great? They agreed, so I went and got shot with water. It was pretty tiring, though. And I… didn’t come out of it uninjured. I was pummeled. LYN: You saw the episode the other day, right? The part when we needed to grab the flowers off a player’s back? I was able to grab it and then fell to my knees, right? And then I started heading for the goal- C: Face breaks. (when he was intercepted and scooped up by Yu Yang) LYN: No, not the face break. It doesn’t have to do with that. I was on my knees and the pants- they’re like exercise pants- they rubbed off a layer of skin on my knee. When I went to Disney later my knee hurt. It straight removed a layer of my skin. It’s okay now, though. /shows us his knee/ It was fierce. I gave it my all. LYN: I thought it was a lot of fun, though. I used the time to relax. It’s nice to be able to record for a show and have fun doing it. The guests were all great and we had fun playing together. C: In the end the flower was stolen by someone else. LYN: It’s okay. I’m really just gong there to have fun. Some variety shows are like a vacation for me. I don’t consider them as work. Hello Saturday is one of them- I only go to play.

C: What’s the scar on your left hand? LYN: Huh? There’s no scar. What scar on my hand? I don’t have one. Do you really think I’m so fierce? I used to have a nickname called “Knife Scar Liu”. /laughs/ I am the “Boy with Knife Scars”- I have scars from knives on my hands. Super fierce.

C: /commenting it’s their b-day/ LYN: Is someone celebrating their birthday today? What a coincidence. Since it’s your birthday and I’m streaming, I’ll wish you a Happy Birthday. Okay? Happy Birthday~ 

C: It’s my 13th marriage anniversary, and I hope to get your blessing. LYN: You have my blessings! I’m jealous that you have such a happy marriage. 13 years today, is it? Then, I’ll gift a song about love to you. What’s a good song to celebrate your 13th marriage anniversary with? And don’t you joke with me, saying 分手快樂 (Happy Breakup). A proper song. Something that wishes people health and happiness. Is there any song like that? C: The Song of Tui Town (KSTLB S2 Theme) -- The Song of Tui Town

LYN: Not that! I was just kidding. What song is there? C: 甜蜜蜜 (Sweet on You) LYN: … C: 给你给我 (Give You, Give Me) LYN: Alright, let’s do it. All of his songs are on the other platform. I’ll give it to you and open it up… LYN: Let me find the lyrics. I just wanted to try, to see if I could sing it in this key. // There are no lyrics, here. It’s okay- let me look them up on my phone. LYN: This is for the friend who is celebrating their 13th year marriage anniversary, and for all of you who are celebrating your 10th year marriage anniversaries. I hope your marriages are all full of happiness and fulfillment. I’m happy that you’re able to be together. -- 给你给我 (Give You, Give Me) by Mao Buyi LYN: That’s about enough. But since I’ve opened this app I might as well look at what other songs I can sing.

LYN: Okay, forget it. They don’t have it. That’s enough, I guess. I couldn’t find it. C: 愿光 (Wish Light) LYN: Oh yeah. Well, since I have this app open, I might as well look it up. LYN: There’s no track for it. There’s really no track for it. - /hums along instead/ -- 愿光 (Wish Light) - The Legend of Anle OST

----------- Break #2 (the neighbors are fighting) bgm: 如果爱还记得 (If Love Still Remembers) - Wonderland of Love OST

C: What is the story of SJYM about? LYN: I don’t know. I’m not even in that drama. I told you last time, didn’t I? The account followed me because they want me to sing the OST. How would I know what the story is about? I’m not qualified to look at the script. C: Didn’t you accept the OST? LYN: Yeah, but do I need to read the script to find out the story in order to sing it? You must be joking. Do you think there are no rules in this industry? C: Ning-ge, you lied. You’ll gain 10kg. LYN: I didn’t lie. How would I know what the story is about?

bgm: 黑夜一束光 (Praying)

LYN: Maybe it’s because we had made a prior agreement, that they would let me go cameo in a role. We’ve worked together before, so maybe I could cameo for them. The agreement was a song and a cameo. I agreed and told them that if I had more time, I could cameo in more than just a few scenes. I could show my face and it’d count  as another project with them.  

C: What are you doing tomorrow? LYN: … I’ll be filming with a drama crew tomorrow. I have my own scenes to do. We start filming tomorrow and I’ll have to log off later and do my homework. I’ll be starting in my new crew tomorrow. What about it? C: What drama is it? LYN: It’s a secret right now, I can’t tell you. The project is too large-scale. I need to keep it secret. LYN: Fine, I’ll tell you. It’s called- Rebirth: I am an Alien. Its a scifi drama. Ill be joining it tomorrow.

LYN: Some of you have been asking about “Chang Ling” since I’ve started streaming. I’ve never heard of it. It’s not that I’ve bever heard OF it, but just that I haven’t heard from my studio that this project has ever looked into me. Maybe they were looking for someone else, and you’ve misremembered? I haven’t heard of this project coming in.

-----

C: Lao-da, are you not off on 5/1? LYN: Ever since I started working, I’ve never known what it is to have a “holiday.” I used to be in the bar singing and and in a restaurant as a waiter. Back in those days these holidays are the days I was the busiest. Dadong is a tourist city, too. So when I was a waiter back then it was my busiest times of the year. I’ve never had a job with consistent holidays like that. C: Did they give you 3x salary? LYN: No, we didn’t get any bonus pay. You don’t see that very much in the service industry… or, I don’t now- maybe because my city was smaller. There was never any 3x salary on holidays. I’ve never heard of it.

C: Have you had 五险一金 (five types of insurance and housing provident fund)? LYN: Never. I’ve never worked in any official enterprise. I was working in restaurants and bars- there’s usually no guarantee and you don’t sign any contracts. It’s just a verbal agreement of work. Usually, like when you go to work- - D: /starts barking/ LYN: Shush! D: /growling that sounds like an engine revving/ LYN: Are you pretending to be a motorcycle?? Are you getting ready to take off? - LYN: - I’d never been in any standard job. Many of you are in college now, right? All of you who are in college or grad school will likely move on to work in a company, and those places will have the insurance and standard pay. People in the servie industry don’t have that. Most of the time we’re in verbal agreements with no official contracts. They’re afraid of you walking out or stealing a piece of rib. This is why most places will make you give a deposit. For example if you get 1200rmb for the first month, they’ll keep 800 and let you take home 400. When you want to quit, theyll return that deposit to you. When you want to quit you have to let them know one month in advance so they can find another worker, and then they’ll return the deposit to you.

C: They keep more than half of your month’s salary? LYN: Just about. C: It should be regulated now, right? LYN: I doubt it. I don’t think it’s totally unregulated, but- not like I understand it very well. When I was in the bar a few years ago, it was still like that. That’s just the way the industry is. It’s not very formal to begin with. There are no contracts, just agreements. There’s a high turnover.

C: Ning-ge, did you ever want a 9a-5p job? LYN: I don’t know. I think it’s more stable for sure, but ever since I was little I wanted to be a celebrity. So I probably decided early on that there was no way that I’d be in a 9a-5p job at some company. You all know that I’m not very highly educated, either. After high school I went straight to culinary school to learn how to be a cook. Of course, a lot of people use my education to ridicule me, saying “LYN is uneducated.” That’s why I admit to it. I’m jealous of those of you who are good at school. Many of you are in college or graduate school, learning to become doctors and professors. I’m happy for you and jealous of you. You’re all very great, so keep doing well in school. I’m sure that you’ll be doing even better than I am in the future. LYN: If you really wanted me to work 9a-5p, I don’t think I would be used to it. I have a break out personality. (does not want to be constrained)

C: Making something you like into your job is the greatest thing. LYN: It’s fun at first. Um… everyone has their own difficulties. No matter what industry you’re in, what you’re doing, or what position you hold, everyone has their own hardships. It’s just that the hardships are not all the same thing. For example, I like to sing. After I made singing into my profession, there were bound to be things I didn’t want to do. You’ll find out that things aren’t as nice as you thought they would be. Taking something you like and turning it into your job to be able to make a living IS a happy thing. But once you actually start doing it you’ll find that it’s not as happy as you thought it would be. You’ll start to feel like you’re losing something you once enjoyed. 

bgm: 我只愿朝着光 ( I Only Wish to Face the Light) - BYOL OST

C: Lao-da, I hope that you are happy. LYN: I am very happy. I’m very happy now. I’m very happy. I’m not unhappy. I’m very happy. Right now I’m… extremely happy. - [t/n: why does it sound like he’s trying to make himself believe it??] LYN: Why wouldn’t I be happy? What right do I have not to be? I have so many people who like and indulge me. I have work and people who support me. Why wouldn’t I be happy? There’s not reason to not be. Really! The reason is because “happy” or “not happy” are not important to me anymore.

C: What is important? LYN: What’s important? Of course, there are things that are important to me. That is… Wow, forget it. Do we have to talk about such deep topics?? I don’t want to. Let’s not go there. I don’t want to talk about it. Weibo is a public platform. If I speak too much on it people will say that I’m pretentious. No one will think I’m being transparent or whatever. They’ll only think I’m being pretentious. What’s there to say? Everyone has it hard. No- it’s not hard on me. Everyone has their own way of living and their own life. Our experiences are not the same. There’s no way to have empathy, so I don’t see the need to share too much. It’s all okay.

-----

C: When you were recording for KSTLB, did you have nightmares? LYN: No. It’s actually not that scary! I already told you I wasn’t afraid. Honestly! I wasn’t afraid. Not one bit.

LYN: There are more people in the comments saying, “Lao-da, I hope that you are happy.” I’ve never presented myself as a weak/vulnerable little boy, have I? I don’t need it. I’m already a man who’s into his thirties. I don’t need you to comfort me. I can get by on my own. LYN: There’s nothing wrong with me! I don’t know why, all of a sudden, the mood has taken this turn. You’re making it seem like I’m very sad right now. I’m not! I’m very happy!! If I dropped off the trending topics, I would be sad. Have I dropped? Have I dropped off the trending topic ranking, friends? Am I still there? If I am, then I won’t be sad. If I’ve dropped, then I’ll cry right away. C: You dropped. LYN: /sobs/

C: Lao-da, I want to see you act as a dominating CEO. LYN: Dominating CEO? ~ You mean to say, that you wish to see my shoulders carry a whole business empire? Alright, no problem. I want to know who the girl that posed this comment is. Get me all her information within three minutes. ~ ~ Later you can find my butler to discuss the details of our collaboration. Remember- this isn’t a discussion. It’s a notification. ~ C: That’s so greasy. LYN: How was that greasy? Aren’t they all like that??

C: I want to be the butler. LYN: ~ You wish. ~

C: Dominating CEOs themselves are greasy. LYN: That’s bs. How are they greasy? Aren’t the really popular dramas lately of the dominating CEO variety? Maybe I was overexaggerating a little bit in my demonstration. That’s the type of performance you’d see in mini dramas. But honestly… aren’t all the characters in dramas right now the dominating CEO type? They’re just not modern drama CEOs, but historical drama CEOs instead. Right? In guzhuang dramas there are the kings or whatever- aren’t they all the dominating CEO? It’s all the same, we’ve just changed the identity. The model is all the same. The guy who would rather fail the world than fail this one girl. Isn’t that the dominating CEO’s M.O? LYN: ~ Look. Ahead of you are the lands I’ve won for you. From now on, you will be my only empress. If anyone dares to touch you, I’ll have them beheaded in front of the masses. ~ LYN: Aren’t guzhuang dominating CEOs like that? It’s all the same! LYN: ~ Look. This is a hall I’ve purchased for you. You can go in and take whatever you want from any of the shops inside. ~ LYN: It’s all the same, isn’t it? Your dominating ceo is just showing up with a different identity in a guzhaung drama, is all. // A lot of warlords are the dominating ceo type. So when you tell me to act as one, I actually already have. 

C: Then, how would an alien dominating ceo act? LYN: /laughs/ Ohh, is that how it is? I was telling you that tomorrow I’ll be starting a new crew, for a drama called Rebith: I Am an Alien. How does an alien dominating ceo act? Hmm… LYN: ~ You want the Earth? Okay. I’ll take down the Earth for you. From today on, you are the lord of this planet. ~ LYN: ~ What was that? You want the Sun? Alright. I’ll order my army to move the sun over for you. ~ LYN: It’s the same. The content of the dialogue changes, but the status and aura doesn’t change.

LYN: It’s about time. I should log off early today. I’ll chat a little longer, then leave. I need to shower and then do homework for tomorrow. I’ll really be starting to film tomorow. Rebirth: I Am an Alien. I hope that when this drama airs- Since I’m just starting filming tomorrow and it’ll take about four months, so if you’re new to my stream, just passing by, or maybe you came in because of the trending topic, I hope you can subscribe to my weibo. Okay? Thank you, everyone. Tomorrow I’ll start filming for a drama called Rebirth: I Am an Alien. I hope that when it airs, you can support my drama. Okay? Now I’d like to sing a song for all the people who are watching my stream for the first time today. This song is especially for the first-time viewers, okay? Um… what should I sing? -- /tries to play 刀剑如梦/ LYN: There’s actually no track for this song. Oh my goodness. - /looking for a suitable track/ LYN: Let me pull RJL’s version, then. -- 刀剑如梦 (A Life of Fighting is But a Dream) LYN: Sorry- I didn’t get the beat right. And I don’t have any props. Let me bring my sword and it’ll have more of the right feel. Wait for me a sec. -- 刀剑如梦 (A Life of Fighting is But a Dream) [take 2] - /misses the timing to start bc he was playing with the sword XD/ - /LYN: Why is this interlude so long??/ - /EDM remix???/ LYN: I didn’t think the arrangement would be like this.

LYN: Anyways, sorry. It was a gift for new friends but it was a little rough. Let me switch to something else. What’s another song that’s very jianghu-esque? Is there any? 走天涯 (Zou Tian Ya)? 让酒 (Rang Jiu). Let’s not do Rang Jiu. 剑魂 (Soul of the Sword)... there’s probably no track for that. -- 剑魂 (Soul of the Sword) [jaunty ver.] LYN: When I sing this song It’s like I’m self-helping my back problems. If you are experiencing shoulder discomfort you can exercise it with this song. It’s great.

LYN: What other song has that feeling of the jianghu? Let me look up something from my Qi-ge. (死不了/天涯). Hey wait- why do I want to move my shoulders to every song I hear? See, this works too! It works. This has already become one of my- C: 寻一个你 (Finding You) LYN: Who sang that? /looks it up/ Oh, WHD’s song. XD -- 寻一个你 (Finding You) - Love Between Fairy and Devil OST LYN: /sigh/ That’s about enough. So if you haven’t subscribed to my weibo yet, please do so.

C: Why did you stop moving your shoulders? LYN: I started sweating. D: Friends, I really think that move has a practical function. So if you’ve got nothing to do, you can practice it. It could help straighten your spine. Or... flex your joints, or something to that effect. 

C: I hope the filming for your new drama all goes smoothly. LYN: Okay, no problem. It’s alright this time, because I’m acting as an alien. I’ll be wearing an alien’s grey skin most of the time. You pretty much won’t be able to see my face, in this drama. I’ll wear a suit. The directors chose me mostly for my height. After they add something to my shoes I’ll be more than 2m tall and I’ll look even less like something from this Earth. 

C: I look forward to your alien. LYN: Okay. You can. No problem. Don’t worry. C: Does the alien talk? LYN: I have lines. Because normally when aliens talk to you, they’ll translate it to Earth language. So I’ll be speaking Chinese like normal. LYN: ~ You foolish Earthlings! ~ C: Standard Mandarin? LYN: No, with a Northeastern accent. LYN: ~ You dumb Earthlings. I’m your alien overlord. ~ C: Does the alien have emotional scenes? LYN: Um… yes. Think about it- for a story about aliens, if you ONLY talk about aliens there’s no way you can shoot a 40 episode drama. You’d never make it. There have to be emotional scenes. Maybe he’s just wearing the shell of an alien to fall in love. A lot of dramas do that, don’t they? This one is the same. The alien and scifi aspect of it is just to draw in an audience. Mainly it’s a love story between a man and a woman.

C: Will you be alive in the end? LYN: Maybe not. Friends, it’s like this: for roles that I’ve played, you can- From the moment I started acting until now, of the roles I’ve played…staying alive was an accident/unexpected. For roles that I play, as long as they’re alive, the reaction should be, “OMG, he’s alive! He didn’t die!!” I’m sure you’d be surprised. But for most of the roles that I’ve played the death rate is extremely high. Very high. Maybe I didn’t have a good start. The very first drama I ever shot- I died. C: Jiang Junhao in BYOL didn’t die. LYN: You want me to die in a slice-of-life drama, too?? That’d be too cruel. I meant in guzhuang dramas. In those, my death rate is about 80%. In 10 roles, 8 of them die. 

bgm: 热辣滚烫 (YOLO) - YOLO Movie OST

LYN: Alright, it’s about time. Thank you for your company and support. Tomorrow I’ll be entering into my new drama crew. I hope you have a fun 5/1 break, okay? Thanks for keeping me company and for your support. It was great to have you tonight and I hope you enjoyed it. Let’s meet again in the next stream, okay? Even though I don’t know when the next time I stream will be! LYN: Goodnight, everyone!