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lightsoutmatthews · 1 month ago

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Stick Season - Matthew Knies

summary: you and Matthew bought tickets for a concert together, unfortunately life had other plans between then and the concert, but what happens when you still decide to go together?

pairing: Matthew Knies x female!reader

word count: 2.4k

warnings: -

authors note:

in honor of the Leafs clinching a playoff spot last night!!!!

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The two pieces of paper that were pinned to your fridge burned in your sight. There was a time where you looked forward to seeing your favorite artist in concert. Especially with your now ex-boyfriend.

You were so excited when he gifted you the tickets on your birthday last year. You didn’t know the two of you wouldn’t make it to your next birthday, or the concert.

It wasn’t a really bad breakup. More like the two of you growing apart. Realizing both of you would need to figure out how to live life on your own.

He was leaving for Arizona while you stayed in Toronto. You wished you could have gone with him, but work kept you. That was the first time you realized that your lives grew in different directions and would not really align anymore even when he returned to Toronto.

He was stressed enough trying to figure out how to manage being a full time NHLer after being thrown into the position on a whim. You were still trying to navigate your new job. Seeing each other less and less before he left.

Not on purpose, life just got in the way and that´s when you knew it could not go on like this.

You broke up when he was back in Canada. It wasn’t a hard conversation, both of you knowing things were coming to an end.

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You hadn’t seen him in months. Not seen him being a stretch given his face was plastered all over the city, the radio and tv talking about the season he was having.

You were happy for him. Game after game he grew as a new player in the big leagues. Eventually he even got promoted to the top line alongside Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner. An unsent congratulatory message for that probably still a draft in your iMessage chat.

That was the first time you really missed him. Celebrating achievements together was one of the things you loved about being with him. No matter how small they were, either of you made it a big deal for the other.

There were a few other times throughout the months since the breakup where you thought about him. When your coworkers invited you to the restaurant you had so many dates at. When you drove past Scotiabank Arena, memories of the times you saw him in the Leafs uniform flicking through your mind.

The concert tickets at your fridge the worst reminder of what you had lost. It was a weird feeling. On the one hand you knew you had made the right decision but at the same time it felt like a piece of you was missing. Maybe you had been wrong? Maybe it was just a product of not seeing him for a while.

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You debated back and forth what you should do with the tickets. Of course, you still wanted to go, but you didn’t have anyone to go with. You could text Matthew. You knew the concert was during all-star break.

Would it be weird? Probably. But technically it was his ticket. He paid for it after all.

The decision laid heavy in your stomach for a few days. You asked around your friend group for a bit, seeing if anyone had time that day without mentioning what event you were actually talking about.

No one did.

A few days later the unsent congratulatory message was deleted, and a new one put in its place. It went unsent for another day, but you knew that you should send it eventually. For planning purposes alone.

I Hey, this might be surprising or weird, but I still have your Noah Kahan ticket. I would hate for it to go unused.

He didn’t reply for over a day. You were thinking that he was ignoring you, but when a text with his name at the top of the notification came through late on the next day you let out a shaky breath.

Matt Knies: Hey, not weird for me if it’s not weird for you. I forgot about that concert to be completely honest; you can give it to someone else if you want to.

You swallowed hard. You should’ve expected him to not jump at the opportunity immediately. You texted back regardless.

I Already asked basically everyone I know, and no one has time. If you don’t want it, I´ll put it up on resale and send you the money back.

You knew how this sounded. Like texting him was the last resort before putting the ticket up for sale. It kind of was. You weren’t screaming in joy about texting you ex about going to a concert together.

Matt Knies: Okay fine, I don’t want the ticket to go to waste. Let me check my schedule.

A few seconds later another message came through.

Matt Knies: What date was that again?

You chuckled.

--------------------

A week later you were on your way to the venue. Matthew agreed to come in the end, but you didn’t make any plans of meeting up until last night.

He texted, saying he´d pick you up but you argued that you were in the area beforehand anyways (you weren’t). So, you met up in front of the arena.

An awkward hug was shared as you approached him. Mumbled greetings and pleasantries were exchanged. You looked him over.

He gained muscle since you last saw him. The backwards cap on his head hid his hair which was slightly longer than you were used to. But it suited him.

It wasn’t lost on you that he was looking you over too. His gaze lingered on your legs for a little longer than it would be polite. You smirked. The loose leather pants were the right decision after all.

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You entered the venue quietly, neither of you really knowing what to say. The hum and buzz of the rest of the concert crows a welcome distraction from your thoughts.

“Do you want something to drink? My treat.” His words made your head snap around. Starring at him like he said the most outrageous thing in the world.

“Woah, I asked you for a drink, not if you want to rob a bank with me.” A soft chuckle left his mouth at your expression. “I… uh… sure…”

You yelped when he grabbed your arm and dragged you towards one of the many drinks stands around the entrance of the arena. His touch immediately sending shivers down your spine. It was warm, familiar, full of memories that kept crawling back to you.

Minutes later he handed you a cup of Sprite. Your favorite.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to drink so I took the save option.” He smiled and took a sip from his own cup. A familiar prickle started to simmer in your stomach. You tried to blink it away, but it immediately bubbled back up when you looked at him.

His features were foreign but so familiar at the same time. “Do I have something between my teeth?” you snapped back to reality at his sudden question. “What…?” perplexity written all over your face.

“You were staring like I had something between my teeth, I had some spinach for lunch, but I swear I brushed my teeth after so usually there shouldn’t be any left.” You blinked once, twice, three times to process how easy he fell back into your familiar rhythm.

Talking to him used to be easy but it felt wrong to immediately slip back into this familiar rhythm.

Seeing him laugh spreading a warmth trough you that you had been missing without really realizing it.

“So?” You snapped back into reality once again starring at him with a confused look. “Spinach?”

“Uh, no, no spinach,” you mumbled but didn’t go into it any further, luckily, he let it go.

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The two of you found a space in the middle of the floor. It wasn’t too crowded yet, so you opted to lean against the rail at the audio guys area.

You took in the buzzling atmosphere, trying to avoid looking in his direction so he wouldn’t ask about your starring again.

You wanted to look at him. Take in his familiar frame and strong build. Sleeping nestled into his warm hold something you missed to this day.

Making small talk until the show started felt easier the longer you talked. You asked about adjusting to his first full season in the NHL, he asked about your job.

The stories he told were exciting, filled with memories from road trips to striking up friendships with his teammates. He told you a lot about Joseph Woll who apparently became his new best friend given they were both in their first full season.

You patted his arm softly when he said how sad he was when he got injured a few weeks ago and wasn’t joining the team on trips but that there were a few others he got along with great.

You hadn’t met many of his teammates. Auston Matthews once when you were in Arizona two years ago, John Tavares last season when you visited Matthew at his house during the playoffs when he was first called up to play for the Leafs after losing in the Frozen Four.

He was just about to break into another story from the road trip out West when the lights dimmed, and the opener took the stage.

You weren’t familiar with the artist, but you enjoyed their music and made a mental note to look them up on Spotify later.

In the break between their set and Noah you didn’t pick the earlier conversation back up, rather sharing opinions about the opener and the songs they performed.

Matthew and you always had similar music taste but today your opinion was divided. Him not having enjoyed it at all and you advocating for them. The banter and jokingly arguing once again something you were incredibly familiar with and that brought that prickle back in your stomach.

It was easy falling back into familiar patterns. Like the past months hadn’t happened. Like you hadn’t broken up on a whim.

You knew it was something that needed to happen at the same time. If you would have kept the relationship up it probably would’ve ended badly. You both needed space to grow individually.

Having been together since junior year at the University of Minnesota there was hardly a time you had spent away from each other. You grew into real adults with the other by your side.

With the rapid change that was approaching in both of your lives you knew either of you needed time to adjust. Alone.

When Noah Kahan took the stage all those thoughts were out of your mind, and you focused on the concert ahead. Until “Stick Season” came on and you were hit with a massive flashback back to the first time you spent parts of your summer with him in Arizona.

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It was a very warm summer night in the middle of the dessert. You and Matthew had spent the evening with his family, having a barbecue and a campfire in the Knies family backyard.

The rest of the family already went to sleep but the two of you weren’t feeling tired yet, so you decided to grab one of the picknick blankets in the pool house and laid it under the stars that were shining bright in the dimly lit neighborhood.

The new Noah Kahan single was playing quietly over the speakers on the patio. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” you whispered. Matthew tightened his grip around you, pulling your head onto his chest and placing a soft hiss on top of it. “Me too.” After a few seconds he added: “It´s nice without the stress of hockey additionally to keeping up with classes.”

You laughed out a huff. He had been drafted by the Toronto Maple Leafs last year and it was almost sure he would make the jump into the NHL at one point in his life. Classes wouldn’t matter then, but you didn’t want to tell him that, knowing he wasn’t so sure if Toronto would make the call any time soon.

“Yeah. I´m dreading going back. Theres so much on my palate this semester.” You would graduate next summer which mean additionally to all of the classes you had to take you would have to start thinking about your thesis. More stress than you had handled in your academic career before.

Another soft kiss to the top of your head. “You´ll do great, I know you will.” You snuggled deeper into his hold and let out a hard exhale. “I hope so. I have that job lined-up from my internship, and I would hate to waste it.”

Moving back to Toronto, where you were originally from, was something you looked forward too. The company you did your internship at during spring break being so impressed by your skills that they offered you a position right out of college.

You knew that also meant you would be close to Matthew when he would eventually come to play for the Leafs.

“Everything will turn out okay, I just have a feeling.”

“I love you, Matt.”

He smiled down at you. “I love you too, sweet girl.”

He tips your head up and places the softest kiss to your lips before laying back down again, neither of you saying a word, the Noah Kahan song just quietly playing in the background.

---------

“I miss you.” The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them. Matthew ripped his head around.

You weren’t sure he had heard you over the loud music but based on his reaction he did.

His lips moved but you could not focus on what he was saying, still shocked by your sudden confession.

“What…?” You mumbled, your mouth barely moving. Matthew softly smiled at you before he leaned down and did the least thing you expected him to do.

His lips felt soft against yours, moving against them felt like he was holding on to a lifeline. Warmth but also nerves and uncertainty creeped up in you.

“I said I miss you too.” He whispered against your lips when he took a second to give both of, you’re a breather.

For a minute neither of you said anything, Noah just singing in the background, the screaming crowd around you.

“You were thinking about that summer too, right?”

#matthew knies #toronto maple leafs #matthew knies imagine #toronto maple leafs imagine #matthew knies x reader #nhl imagine

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darksigns-exe · 4 months ago

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it's delicate - noah sebastian x f!reader

warnings: swearing, fingering (f receiving) oral sex (f receiving) protected intercourse

word count: 4k

note: a little continuation of this thing that i combined with a request from @somebodyels3 hope this comes close to what you had in mine <3

masterlist | taglist sign-up

The party around you buzzes.

It’s the end of the year – New Year’s Eve – and everyone is here. The band's place is stuffed full of all of your friends. You’ve had a drink or two already, just to curb the bubbling anxiety that has settled in your belly.

These things aren’t for you, but at the same time you like seeing everyone. You haven’t seen some of these people in ages, and really it is nice to see some familiar faces again.

You’ve only seen Noah for a moment.

Things between you have been interesting since the encounter. Noah has kept a little more distance and while it had stung at first, you’re somewhat glad that he had taken that step. Getting that close to him had ignited a few feelings you had been very happy to ignore so far. Having a little bit of forced distance between you had given you time to reevaluate how you feel. Unfortunately, you had always come back to the same conclusion.

The things you feel for him are just a little bit more than friendship.

You can’t tell where he stands on the matter, but there’s a small part of you that hopes that he feels somewhat similar.

You’re ripped from your thoughts by the sounds of commotion in the kitchen.

The source seems to be an animated discussion between Folio and someone you can’t immediately recognise. It distracts you enough for Noah to be able to sneak up on you.

He drapes an arm around your shoulder, sidling up next to you.

“What’s he up to?” he asks, trying to get a glimpse at whatever is happening.

“I have no idea.” you reply.

You can barely make out Folio, and you honestly have no idea of what they’re debating. All you can tell is that it clearly isn’t entirely serious.

“You wanna head upstairs with me? I have something I’ve wanted to show you for a while.”

If he hadn’t sounded so earnest and things between you hadn’t been so off you would have made a joke out of it. Instead, you quietly follow up to his room.

You know that he’s been looking for a place of his own, but seeing boxes stacked in his room still takes you a little aback.

“Did you find a place?” you ask, pushing past some of the boxes so that you can sit down on his bed.

The room feels so much colder than it usually does.

Something about this feels odd.

“I did. That’s what I wanted to show you.” he pulls up a page on his computer, motioning for you to join him, “I know you’ve been having issues with your landlord so – there’s a spare room that could be yours if you want it.”

You sit on his desk chair and start to scroll through the listing.

The place is stunning.

Central, but in an area that feels like an actual neighbourhood. The rooms are spacious, and flooded with light. The living room is gorgeous, the kitchen looks to be newly renovated too. You know that Noah has already put so much thought into this, and really it’s a tempting offer. Maybe you would be less hesitant if it hadn’t been for that encounter.

“Can I think about it?”

“Of course.” he gives you that pretty smile of his, “It’s just an offer. It’s closer to where you work, too, just in case that influences your decision-making process.”

A small part of you wonders if that is part of why he settled on that apartment in particular.

“While I have you up here, I think we should talk about something else.” Noah continues.

You shoot him a questioning look, even though you already have a vague idea of what he wants to discuss.

“When I came over to your place and you — got me off?” you give him a nod, prompting him to continue, “I didn’t want it to make things weird between us. And I think in trying to give you space, I made it weird. I’m sorry about that.”

“To be fair, I took a step back too.” you reply, “Let’s just forget about the whole thing.”

Noah cocks his head to the side, “The whole thing? What if I don’t want to forget about it.”

You swallow a breath.

You can’t deny that you’ve been thinking about it a lot. The way he had looked up at you with tear stained eyes had seared itself into your brain. The visual of him thrust into your hand with nothing but pleasure had played on repeat in your mind.

“I don't think that you want to forget about it either, hm?” Noah squats down in front of you, “I can’t stop thinking about how good you made me feel.”

He brings a hand to your knee, thumb gently caressing your bare skin.

You force yourself to look at him.

His eyes are so soft, and there’s nothing that tells you that he’d be upset if you’d ask him to stop this. He waits patiently for you to make your move, quietly watching you with a curious expression.

You bring a hand to the side of his face. Noah leans into your touch, practically melting at the warmth of your palm.

“What about everyone downstairs?”

“They’ll be busy for at least another hour. We have plenty of time. And if we miss the countdown, we’ll just say that I wasn’t feeling good, and you stayed with me.”

He removes your hand from his cheek, and presses a kiss to the backs of your knuckles.

He rises back up to full height, your hand still grasped in his.

You let him pull you up from the chair.

Noah mirrors your earlier motion and places a soft hand against your cheek.

“Can I kiss you?”

The words just won’t come to you. The nod you offer seems to be satisfactory to him, though. Noah moves in so slowly, giving you plenty of time to move out of the way.

The first touch of his lips against yours is so soft and chaste. You hadn’t thought about what kissing him would feel like. But when you feel the gentle brush of his lips against yours, you never want to miss it again. His hand remains on your cheek, keeping you close to him. In return, your arms wrap around his middle.

Noah’s free hand comes to rest at the small of your back, and you can feel him toying with the tie that keeps your dress together.

When you finally part, your head spins with the lack of air.

“Sit down for me, will you?” he says softly.

His hands slowly drift away from you when you take a step back to sit on the edge of his bed. A moment later, Noah sinks to his knees in front of you. He moves to take off your shoes, placing them somewhere off to the side.

“Nothing you don’t want will happen. You can stop this at any point.” he says quietly, “We’ll only go as far as you want.”

You try your best to focus on the soft brush of his fingers against your calf, instead of the bubbling anxiety in your belly.

It’s always like this.

You want this – him – but when it gets to it, the anxiety to do well overwhelms you.

“Hey.” Noah gives a gentle squeeze to your thigh, “Everything okay? You’re looking a little lost.”

The concern on his face is unlike anything you’ve seen from him. You know that he cares deeply for his people, you included, but this feels different.

“Just a little nervous.”

“Don’t have to be nervous, sweetheart. I promise I’ll take good care of you. This is not the first time you’re doing this, right?”

You shake your head.

Maybe not the first time, but your anxieties had limited your experience quite a bit. More than a few partners had headed home again without seeing any kind of action after you’d gotten too into your head to enjoy it.

“Okay. Can I do something to make this better for you?”

You look down at him, finding only comfort and warmth in his eyes.

“Can you tell me what you’re doing? I keep trying to anticipate what’ll happen and –”

“Takes you right out of the mood, huh? Well, we can’t have that. I’ll tell you exactly what I’m doing. All you have to do is lie back and feel good. Sound good?”

You give him a nod in return.

“Has anyone ever eaten you out?” his voice is surprisingly calm considering the nature of his question.

“Just once, but – it didn’t seem like he enjoyed it.”

Noah scoffs, shaking his head.

His voice turns so awfully soft when he finally speaks up again, “Will you let me show you how good it can be? For both parties?”

“Will you?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” he presses a kiss to the inside of your knee, “Do you want to stay like this or do you want to lie back?”

“Like this is okay.”

“Good, if something feels off, let me know. No hesitation. I want this to be good for you.” another kiss to the inside of your thigh, a little higher this time, “Do you want to keep your dress on?”

“Is that okay?”

“Whatever you’re most comfortable with. If you want to keep it on, that’s okay. You wanna push up your hips for me?”

You do as he asks, allowing him to take your panties off. He’s careful, slowly sliding them down your thighs.

“Put on something cute before you came here, huh? Got all dressed up just for me.” he speaks more to himself than anyone else.

His hands roam across your thighs, giving gentle pressure to make you part them.

“Spread your legs a little, darling.” when you’ve made enough room for him, he continues, “I’m gonna touch you now, just with my fingers.”

His fingers slowly trail up your thigh. His touch is feather-light, barely there. You hold your breath when he reaches your centre. The tips of his fingers brush through your folds, until they catch at your clit. You gasp when he circles his fingers across the bundle of nerves.

“Don’t be shy, darling. Let me hear your pretty sounds.”

He keeps up the slow, gentle touch for a good while. Occasionally, his fingers drift a little lower, swiping through your folds again. With every pass, his focus shifts towards your entrance. You try your best to focus on him, but it’s already so hard to keep your eyes open.

Noah gives you another warning before he begins to tease the tip of one of his fingers into you.

He takes his time working his finger into you. The slow, teasing touch makes you gasp out loud. And, as his finger sinks deeper into you, you let yourself fall back against the mattress.

“There you go, baby. Does that feel good?” Noah asks softly.

You whine out a yes, but Noah doesn’t seem to be very happy with that.

“Words.” He says then, sounding almost a little taunting.

His fingers still, as he waits for your response, eyes fixed on your face so very expectantly.

“Feels good. Feels so good.” you choke out.

“That’s it. Gonna let me get a taste of your pretty little pussy?”

“Y-yes.”

He presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, “Thank you.”

Noah removes his finger again and a moment later, you feel him trailing a barely there line of kisses up your thigh. And then you finally feel his lips pressing against your folds.

At first, it’s a soft little kiss, but then you feel the tip of his tongue dragging through your folds. He moves so slowly, that you feel like you could stop him so easily if it becomes too much.

You shift yourself upwards, in the attempt to get a glimpse at him. And when you look down, Noah meets your glance with the softest look.

You feel him smile against you, before he pulls away just so.

“Still feeling okay?” He asks.

This time, your nod is enough for him.

Noah quickly dives back between your thighs, burying his face there once again. He’s so careful with it. There’s something devotional about it. His attention is entirely on you and your pleasure.

You bring a hand into his hair, remembering how he had shuddered last time.

Noah lets out a sigh in response, but shows no sign of wanting to remove himself. In fact, you think that he sinks even deeper into you. You can just make out the flutter of his lashes against his cheeks as he continues his efforts.

He gives a first experimental suck to your clit before he pulls away again.

“Think you’ll be okay with my fingers inside?”

“I want to try.”

“That’s good enough for me.” He presses another kiss to the inside of your thigh, “Just keep making those pretty sounds for me, and I’ll give you whatever you want.”

He keeps his focus on you while he eases his pointer finger back into you. When you give him no sign of discomfort, he returns his lips to your core.

Noah gives the softest little kitten licks to your clit, drawing whine after whine from you. As overwhelming as it feels, you just can’t tear your eyes away from him.

Soon enough, he starts to work a second finger into you. The stretch of it makes you sigh, and the grip of your hand tightens in his hair. And in turn, you’re rewarded with a moan from Noah.

The careful curl of his fingers, mixed with the steady licks he gives to your folds, drags you closer and closer towards your climax.

“Noah.” you choke out, making him look up at you.

“Getting close?” he asks, “You wanna cum for me? Let me hear how pretty you sound when you fall apart for me?”

You can only give him a desperate nod in reply.

“That’s it baby. You’re so tight around my fingers. I bet you’d feel so good around my cock.” you don’t understand how he sounds so unaffected by all of this, when you feel as if you’re about to be torn apart, “Come on, let me feel you. You’re so close, aren’t you?”

You’re right at the edge of it, but something is still holding you back. You let out a whine, hoping that it’s enough to tell him that you need more.

“Aw need a little more, sweetheart? That needy little pussy just can’t get enough, hm?”

He brings his thumb towards your clit. The slow circles he draws there, are enough to push you over the edge. You feel yourself clenching around his fingers, as you cry out in pleasure. You’re suddenly so very glad that the music playing downstairs is loud enough to disguise the sounds you’re making.

Noah works you through your climax with practised ease. The gentle praise he showers you with only makes you feel dizzier.

Eventually, his fingers slow until he stills entirely.

“You did so good for me.” he says softly, “I’m gonna pull out my fingers, okay?”

You give him a nod.

Your breath catches in your throat when he pulls his fingers from you. His fingers immediately dip between his lips. His eyes fall shut again, and he lets out a pleasured hum.

“Noah?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper.

His eyes fly up to meet yours, “Hm?”

“I want you.” “You just had me, sweetheart.” Noah says with a smirk.

“All of you.”

“All of me?” the smirk fades into something you can quite identify.

He rises up to his feet and for a moment, you think that he’ll turn around and leave. But instead, Noah leans down to you, placing a hand against your cheek.

“I’m going to kiss you now. Is that okay?”

Your heart is beating at a thousand miles a minute. Since the evening when you’d gotten him off, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about him.

“Please, Noah.”

His lips meet yours just a split second later. And before you know it, you find yourself on your back, with Noah hovering above you.

You bring your hand into the hair at the back of his neck, to keep his lips on yours.

One of his hands drifts up your thigh and under your dress. You feel his fingers digging into your waist.

From your lips, Noah trails a line of kisses along your jaw and neck. You sigh when he sucks a pretty little mark into the skin of your neck.

You try your best to tug his shirt out of his trousers, desperate to feel his skin beneath your fingers again. Noah seems to understand what you’re trying to do and quickly pulls his shirt off. He doesn’t return to you immediately, instead he moves to unbutton his trousers. You’re sure it’s just your imagination, but for a brief moment, you’re sure that his hands tremble just a little. He drops them onto his desk chair, together with his shirt, before he finally returns to you.

You scoot back, making a little more space for him on the bed. Noah kneels between your parted thighs. You let your eyes wander across his mostly bare body. His chest heaves with quick breaths. You can’t deny the bubbling anxiety in your belly, either.

Taking this step could change everything between you.

You bring your hand to his waist, to guide him back to you.

Noah meets you in another quick kiss, before he sits up again.

“Can I take this off?” he asks, playing with the hem of your dress.

As much as you want to seize up, you have to feel his hands on your body. And so you give him a nod.

Noah helps you sit up, allowing him to take off your dress. You don’t care where it lands because as soon as your body is bared to you, his lips are back on your neck. His hands roam across your body, and now you’re actually able to feel the tremble of his hands.

Noah kisses his way across your chest, grazing his teeth against your collar bones. You bring a hand between your bodies, pressing your palm against the bulge in his boxers. Noah’s forehead instantly drops to your shoulder. The groan he lets out makes you shiver.

“Careful, baby.” he sounds so breathless already, “Don’t wanna finish before I’m inside you.”

He shuffles out of his boxers, finally giving you a proper view of him.

“Hurry up then.” You say, once again reaching out for him.

Noah manages to catch your hand in his before you get a chance to catch him.

“Don’t get impatient now. You’ve been so good until now.”

He leans over to his night stand and pulls open the top drawer. Somehow you hadn’t thought about protection until now, but you’re glad that he did.

“Better to be safe.” He notes as he tears open the package.

Noah leans back over you, dipping down to steal a kiss from you.

“Ready?”

You nod, bringing your hands to his waist.

Noah remains focused on your face for a moment longer, before he looks down to where he’s working the head of his cock into you.

The focused furrow in his brow makes you wonder if he’s struggling to keep himself composed. He takes his time with it, slowly working his length into you.

Your hand remains on his waist, trying to steady both of you.

“Oh—fuck.” His head drops against his chest, “You feel so fucking good.”

You wrap your arms around his body, gently coaxing him back down to you. Noah drapes himself across your body, burrowing his face against your neck.

You feel his breath against your skin. He’s still for a long moment, his body heavy against yours. The weight of him eases your worries. He’s warm and comforting, skin so much softer than you had imagined.

The skin of his back twitches when you move your hands.

He begins a slow, steady rhythm. He rocks against you, barely moving away from you. But it’s enough for you. His lips return to the side of your neck, leaving what you assume will be a rather prominent mark.

He sighs out your name, whispering it against your skin.

With every thrust, he picks up a little bit more movement. Noah still doesn’t allow a lot of distance between you, but with the extra bit of leverage, he manages to hit all the right spots.

You’re not sure how long you’ll last.

The intensity of the moment is quickly dragging you towards your climax. Your belly already feels so taught.

You can’t tell where his body ends and yours begins.

Your name is a prayer on his breath. You’ve long given up on trying to form actual words. Between the moans and sighs that fall from your lips, you barely manage to utter his name.

Your fingers dig into his back. Noah gasps against your skin. You swear that you feel teeth scraping against your bare shoulder.

It’s a slow unravelling.

Your climax hits you in slow waves, dragging you under like a current. Noah stills above you. You feel him release into the condom with a quiet gasp. His breath fans out against your skin.

He stays where he is for a long moment.

Noah’s back rises and falls beneath your palms. A part of you wants to keep him close like this forever, but you know that you’ll have to face the people downstairs at some point.

Eventually, he begins to pull away from you. Your hands stay on his body as long as possible. But once he has sat up completely, you’re practically forced to let go of him.

“I’ll be right back with you, sweetheart.”

He gives a barely there squeeze to your waist just before he gets off the bed.

You don’t have time to feel shy about being entirely bare, as Noah quickly returns to you. You find yourself scooped up in his arms. Before you know it, he’s wrapped all around you again, this time with his chest pressed up against your back.

There’s so much you want to say, but you just don’t know where to start.

Noah’s arm snakes around your middle, somehow pulling you closer against him. You wrap your hand around his.

He presses a kiss to your shoulder.

“So about that room –” you say quietly, scared to disturb the mood.

“It’s yours if you want it.”

“Gonna make me sleep in the spare room, huh?”

You hope that you haven’t read too much into all of this. Every little touch is still embedded in your mind. The way he had looked at you is burned into your brain. And in that moment, all you hope for is that you’re not the only one who feels like this.

“Can you look at me?” he says and is voice is so unexpectedly soft then, “Please.”

Noah eases his hold on you enough for you to turn around.

His brow is furrowed so faintly, “Would you want me like that?”

“Noah.”

“Please – I need to know.”

Just like you had done at the beginning of the night, you place your hand against his cheek, “Of course I do.”

The corners turn up into the faintest beginning of a smile, before he dips down for a kiss.

“Does that mean that I can call you mine?”

The barely there nervousness makes your chest ache a little.

“Only if I can call you mine too.”

He breaks into that pretty smile of his, “I think this might be the best start into a new year so far.”

And really, you can’t disagree with him.

The party downstairs is long forgotten. The important thing is right here in front of you. And as selfish as it feels, you’re glad that you have him all to yourself in that moment because truth be told, this has been a long time coming.

Eventually, you hear the fireworks, but neither of you moves even a muscle. You stay here, wrapped up in your own little moment, wholly entranced by each other. And for the first time, you realise that he’s been yours for a while, just like you’ve been his for just as long.

All it took was a little nudge.

taglist: @deathblacksmoke @circle-with-me @sitkowski @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens

@malice-ov-mercy @chels3a-smile @ferduttini @somebodyels3 @itsafullmoon

@shilohrosechicken @poisongirl616 @mysticdoodlez @agravemisstake @th4t-em0-k1d

@thisbicc @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @mrsnoahsebastian @blackveilomens @sorrowsofsilence

@fadingangelwisp @lacy1986 @tosoundlessdarkistare @thisisntablogspost @tintadecirco

@rumoured-whispers@cheyyyyr@mathfairchild1 @thewrstinme @Follow-me-down-to-wonderland

#noah sebastian x f!reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens fic #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfiction

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kaliforniahigh · 9 months ago

Note

Fic request idea? You and Noah have happily been together for a few years. Your next anniversary happens while he's on tour so you secretly coordinate a plan with Matt to surprise Noah in whatever city they're in. After you get to the hotel, you look for Noah. You find him outside by the pool area talking to a pretty girl in a bikini. The girl puts her arm around him and takes a selfie. She keeps her hand on him way too long and gets a flirty look on her face. You've seen other fans interact with Noah and are always unbothered but now you've never felt so jealous and sick to your stomach, so you go back to your room. What you didn't see was Noah politely remove the girl's hand and turn her down. After a brief nap, you still feel really sick and emotional (more so than usual) and Noah doesn't know you're there yet so you debate if you should just go home. You can fill in the next parts but include lots of angst, avoiding each other, avoiding calls/texts, reader still feeling sick, talking about that misunderstanding. It all ends with you telling Noah "I'm pregnant".

I love dad omens :((( Thank you the request. I hope you like it! Hopefully I didn't stray too much from what you wanted.

Warnings: pregnancy, vomiting, reader is insecure, jealousy, a little bit of angst, happy ending. I think that's it. Noah is ecstatic about being a dad.

WC: 4k (I haven't proofread this yet!)

Requests are closed for now.

Eight years was a big milestone. It's been eight years since you've been dating the love of your life. Spending anniversaries apart wasn't anything unsual for you two. Noah was on tour for the most part of the year, and chances are he would be somewhere far away when the day of your anniversary arrived.

This year was no different, he was all the way on the east coast, while you stayed in your California home. But something felt different this time around.

It was no secret you and Noah had a very active sex life, that became even more active whenever he was about to leave for tour. However, you were both very careful every time. He always wore a condom, since you couldn't be on the pill due to health reasons.

A few weeks after he left, you started to feel the first symptoms. At work, you noticed you needed to use the bathroom so frequently, you sworn you were in the bathroom every fifteen minutes to pee.

You felt more tired than usual, almost being late for work a couple of times, since you couldn't open your eyes long enough to get up from the bed.

At first, you thought your immunity might be too low or that you needed to take some vitamins. But when the nausea and vomiting started, it got you more concerned. You decided to check your app to see when was the last time you have gotten your period.

You suspicions were confirmed when you saw that you didn't get your period at all this month. Running to the pharmacy, you thought that buying a pregnancy test was your best option until you could get a consult with your doctor.

While you were cruising the isles, you thought about Noah and how he would feel about this - if the test came out positive. You've been together for a long time, and you've discussed having a family many times over the years. Getting married and having kids were on your agenda, but not for right now.

You were both under 30 and he was so busy with the band, you could see the problem in trying to raise a baby when he was so far away for months on end.

You lived in a different state than the rest of your family, so having a support system here in California would be so difficult. You would be on maternity leave, sure, but at some point you would have to go back to work, and who would take care of your baby then? You didn't want to put them in daycare so early.

Your mind was running with a million thoughts, as you grabbed two Clearblue tests and ran to the checkout line. The cashier noticed your uneasiness and didn't attempt to make any small talk.

Now, you were sat on the toilet as you eyed both tests, gathering the courage to take them, because once you did, the situation would become very real.

You wished Noah was here with you. You didn't care if would freak out or stay calm, you just needed someone to do this with you. You debated calling him, but decided against it. You wouldn't tell him a life-altering information with him on the other side of the country.

You had no other choice, so you took your pants and underwear off to pee on the stick that would probably change your life forever. You watched the countdown on the stick with a bated breath. You looked away, not being able to look at it as it did it's thing.

You gnawed at your nails, biting them and even drawing some blood in the process, legs bouncing incessantly. After a few minutes, you grabbed the test again and looked at the little display.

Pregnant.

Tears welled in your eyes as you put the test back on the counter. Crying was the best response you could conjure up right now, so that's what you did. You sat on the bathroom toilet and cried your eyes out, sobs racking through your body as it became difficult for you to breath.

After minutes of this, your body began to feel exhausted and you seemed to be running out of tears. You tried to breath more evenly now, standing up from the toilet, you washed you face and blew your nose. Not being able to do much else with how emotionally exhausted you were, you decided to just go to bed and sleep this off. Tomorrow was Saturday, so you had the whole day to think about this.

You went under the covers and grabbed your phone, looking at some pictures of baby Noah that he has sent you over the years, a little smile playing on your lips at the sight of him so cute and so small.

You wished for your baby to have his eyes, his beautiful voice and kind heart. You wondered if they would have his dark, straight hair or your light and slightly wavy one. You wanted them to inherit his height so you could get them in some kind of sport, maybe basketball or volleyball. Or maybe their dad would teach them how to play an instrument and they would be in a band as well.

Your heart felt a little lighter at all the scenarios you were conjuring up in your mind. Your eyes felt heavy from all the crying and soon you were plugging your phone to charge on the bed side table, cuddling up to Noah's blanket, drifting off to sleep thinking about the little human you were growing inside of you.

The next day, you texted Matt and started to organize a surprise for Noah on tour. You knew they had a two day break next week, so you would use those days to surprise him and tell the - hopefully good - news.

You spent the week getting your bags ready and the house organized before you left. You even took the time to run to the store and pick up a baby onesie that said "rad like dad" on the front, along with a box for you to put it inside with the pregnancy test you kept.

You thought about scheduling a doctor's appointment before traveling, but you wanted Noah to be there with you, and since tour was wrapping up not too long after you visited, you decided to wait.

Even though you felt like he would be happy with the fact that you were going to have a baby, you still needed to be prepared to talk about your options if needed.

As you sat on the plane, thousands of feet up in the air, you willed the discomfort in your stomach away. You knew that the possibility of you feeling sick on the flight was real, but you would avoid it as much as you could. You rubbed your still flat belly, a silent way to tell your baby to settle down, as you closed your eyes and tried to nap.

The next time you opened your eyes, there was only an hour until you touched down. You coordinated everything with Matt. You had your room you would be staying in to get everything ready for your surprise. It wasn't much, you just planned on leaving the box with the onesie and pregnancy test inside on the bed for him to see when he came into the room.

It was a nice hotel, with a big pool according to what you saw online, and you totally intended on taking advantage of that, soaking in the sun and playing in the water.

After you landed, there was an Uber waiting to take you back to the hotel, Matt assured you they all went out for lunch, so there was no chance of you running into Noah in the middle of the hotel lobby.

Checking in, you took your bags up to your room, taking a few clothes out and hanging them inside the closet. You put your toiletries in the bathroom and took your airplane clothes off in order to take a warm shower and change into some new clothes.

You were drying your hair when your phone pinged with a succesion of text messages.

Noah: Hi, my sweet love. The boys and I went out for lunch and now we're sitting by the pool.

This is the life.

Wish you were here with me. I love you so much.

You smiled the biggest smile of probably the entire week. He had that effect on you every time.

You: Hi, baby! Enjoy the pool for me. Can't wait to see you again! I love you more <3

You replied and decided that a trip downstairs to the pool was in order.

You grabbed the box, onesie and pregnancy test you brought with you and set everything on the bed. You were glad you haven't messed up the bed yet by yanking the covers off, this way everything looked more put together.

You put on your bikini and before you put on one of Noah's shirts over your body, you looked at yourself in the mirror. The thought of having a baby didn't terrify you as much anymore, and you actually pictured yourself sporting a beautiful baby bump, a sign of the love you and Noah shared.

Snapping out of your reverie, you grabbed some sunscreen and your sunglasses and made your way to the pool area. You staked the place out first, trying to sneak up on him.

You saw him in the distance, along with Jolly and Folio. He was taking pictures with a couple of fans and you didn't think much of it, until you observed a little and saw that he seemed awfully comfortable with these barely clothed girls.

You were never jealous, you actually thought the pictures he took with fans were cute most of the time, and he was always respectful, mindful of his hand placement and avoiding getting too close. There were actually a few pictures out there of him doing the hover hand, not wanting to touch another girl's waist.

But this time, not only was his arm wrapped around her middle, his hand was clutching her waist, her body sticking to his, boobs - covered only by the thin cloth of her bikini top - smushed on his chest. You looked at his face for any sign of discomfort, but he was sporting a grin on his lips.

The girl wraps her arm around his torso as the other girl behind the cellphone snaps the picture. As they were separating, she took the opportunity to take his hand in hers, and you saw a look on her face that only another girl would recognize.

It was a look of hunger and she was blatantly flirting with him. His grin never faltered and you were left wondering why in the hell were his hand still holding hers.

You didn't stay to see the rest of their interation, a wave of nausea hitting you and you were sure if you didn't run back to the elevator you would throw up all over the place.

As soon as you entered your hotel room, you barely had the time to close the door behind you and ran to the bathroom, spilling all of the contents in your stomach into the toilet. You threw up until there was nothing left to come out, and you wondered if it was the pregnancy making you feel sick or if it was what you just witnessed.

Either way, you sat on the bathroom floor, all the energy and excitement leaving your body, as well as the confidence you build up about having this baby.

Noah was young, he toured the entire world and met so many new faces. What if one day he decided you weren't enough for him anymore and he needed someone new, someone more exciting. You didn't want to ruin the rest of his life by tying him to you because of your baby. You knew relationships like that always became bitter and hateful.

Your phone buzzed next to you on the bathroom counter and you saw it was a text from Matt.

Matty: We're by the pool. Noah went up to his room, do you want to surprise him there?

You sighed. That was your plan, but it all completely fell apart just minutes ago.

You: I don't feel so good. I think it was the flight.

Matty: I have some medicine in my room, do you want me to drop it off at yours?

You debated on what to tell him. It all felt so painful having to deal with all of this on your own. Maybe talking to someone would do you some good. Matt was always good at giving advice, and he knew Noah as well as you did, maybe he could shine some light in your situation.

You: ok, I need to talk to you, though, it's kind of serious.

Matty: oh shit, I'll be there in 5.

You only had time to brush your teeth before there was a knock on your door. You left the bathroom to answer it and sure enough, Matt was standing on the other side,

"I realized I didn't ask what you were feeling, so I grabbed the whole medicine bag", he held up a bag with a red cross on the front. You could always trust Matt with medicine, he always carried all sorts of things with him.

"It's ok, come on in", you stepped inside and he followed after you. You weren't actually gonna take anything, since you didn't know what you could and couldn't take due to your pregnancy.

"Hmmm", you heard Matt hesitate, before saying "Y/N, am I meant to see this?", you looked over at him and saw him poiting to the surprise on the bed. You have completely forgotten you placed it there before leaving to go to the pool.

"I was about to tell you about that, actually", you sat down on the bed and put your face in your hands.

"This is good, right? We're happy about this?", he questioned as he dragged one of the chairs in the room to sit in front of you.

"We were happy about this, until maybe fifteen minutes ago"

"What happened fifteen minutes ago?", he asked you, noticing the crestfallen look on your face.

"I went down to the pool area to surprise Noah, and I saw him taking pictures with those girls, and I don't know, I felt this monster grow inside of me and I just couldn't take it", you gave him the short version.

"Those girls were very pushy. What did you see?"

"I saw him very happy to be touching the body of a woman who is almost half naked beside him. His face wasn't exactly sad", you rolled your eyes, the images flashing back in your mind.

"Y/N, you only saw half of it, I swear that is not what happened", he told you and you gave him a look for him to keep going. "Ok, so we were sitting on the chairs by the pool, when these two girls approached us and asked for pictures. We said ok, because this happens all the time. They took pictures with everyone and Noah was the last one. He was standing next to her, both of his arms were placed in front of him, and he wasn't touching her at all", he really looked at you when saying this, and you nodded to show him you understood.

"But I guess she wasn't good with that, she grabbed his hand out of nowhere, and forcefully placed it on her waist. He was so shocked, he didn't know what to do. Her friend snapped the first picture and I guess she wasn't happy with that either, because she told him he needed to smile. So she told her friend to take another one. He didn't even share a word with her, because he honestly didn't know what to say or how to act in that situation"

You thought of every other fan interation you've seen him have. He was an introvert and sometimes didn't know how to react to things, specially when fans are involved. You suddently felt angry, not at him, but at the girl coming at him like that.

Was she even a fan? Or did she only want a picture to boast about meeting Noah? And the nerve she had, telling him to smile?

"He went up to his room after the interation, he was very overwhelmed", Matt finished his explanation.

"He must be feeling so bad", you thought out loud.

"He was just uncomfortable, you know how he is about his privacy and personal space", he observed.

"I know. I feel so bad for jumping to conclusions", you sighed out loud.

"Hey, don't feel sorry. You have a whole other thing going on here", he pointed to the pregnancy test.

"About that, I might need your help once again", you told him, a little nervous tilt on your voice.

"Sure, just tell me what to do"

So you told him to text Noah, telling him to come to room 305 - your room - and meet him there.

Matt left with a hug and a good luck, and you paced around the room, thinking about how these next minutes would play out.

A knock on the door came not too long after, you looked in the mirror, realizing you haven't changed out of Noah's shirt from earlier. But you hurried to answer the door anyways.

"Did you change your...", his voice trailed as soon as he saw you standing on the other side of the door. Jaw going slack and eyes widening in surprise.

"Surprise?", you said, opening your arms for him.

"Are you real?" he said in disbelief.

"Hug me and find out", it took him a few seconds for him to snap into action, crashing into your arms and hugging you tight.

"I can't believe you're here, oh my god", he said, hands roaming everywhere and touching every piece of you he could. You parted for a second and looked him in the eye.

"Yeah, I am", you giggled at little at his shocked expression.

"How did you do this?" he asked, taking your face in his hands. Neither one of you caring you were still standing on your door.

"I had a little help from Matt"

"Remind me to thank him later", he gave you a peck on the lips, both of you smiling into the kiss. "Get in that room, I have nothing to do for the rest of the day"

You stopped him from trying to walk you backward into the room.

"I actually have a surprise for you. I need you to close your eyes", you told him, a sheepish look taking over your face.

"Hmm, a surprise? I love that", he wiggled his eyebrows. You laughed and slapped him lightly in the chest.

"It's nothing like that, silly. Now close your eyes", he did as he was told, a smile still lingering on his face. You closed the door behind you and led him to stand in front of the bed.

You stood to his side, wanting to see his every reaction to this information, as you told him to open his eyes.

A million thoughts raced on his head, the first thing he saw was the onesie, "rad like dad" written on it, next was the pregnancy test and he has to lean a little closer to read "pregnant" written on the little display.

"You're pregnant?", he asked, looking at you. His mouth was agape and his eyes were even wider than before.

"Yeah"

"We're having a baby?"

"Yeah"

His hand flew to his mouth, attempting to cover his shocked expression, muttering "oh my god" to himself over and over again. You wouldn't lie, you were starting to freak out a little bit. A few seconds passed before something snapped in him. He gathered you up in his arms, your feet almost lifting from the floor.

"I'm going to be a dad? You're gonna make me a dad?" he asked, face buried in your hair.

"Yeah, you're gonna be a dad", you said, stroking his hair. His body shook a little and you could tell he was crying. You let him have his moment, so you just hugged him and stroked his hair softly. After a few minutes, he parted from you, with eyes glossy and cheeks wet with tears, but his smile was so big, it could light up a whole room.

"You make me the happiest man on this planet, I can't even believe this is real", he still held you close to his body. You suddently felt crazy for ever overthinking this.

"I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty nervous when I found out", you admitted, his smile fell a little at this.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I can imagine finding out you're pregnant by yourself was pretty scary", his hand stroked your cheeks.

"It's ok, you're here now, that's all that matters"

"Take your shirt off", he told you, taking hold of the bottom of your - his - shirt.

"Noah, I don't know about this. I haven't been to a doctor's appointment yet" you said, unsure if you should be doing this.

"I don't mean it like that. Just take your shirt off, please?", you did like he wanted, as he kneeled in front of you.

He splayed both of his hands on your belly and started talking to your baby.

"Hi, sweet girl, this is your dada", he started, and you could die happily in this moment. "I'm so excited to meet you, but it's gonna take a while until we get to do that. Until then, you'll stay warm and healthy in your mommy's belly", he tapped your belly twice to get his point across. Tears welled in your eyes at the sight before you. You have everything you could have possibly wanted in the world.

"Daddy loves you so much already, you're going to be a spoiled little girl when you come to the other side. And you're gonna have the most amazing and beautiful mommy in the world", he looked up at you, to see tears streaming down your face. He got up to kiss them away. "How do you feel about getting married with a baby bump?", he asked you, and you sobbed even harder.

"It sounds really nice", you crashed on his arms, and he moved the both of you to lay on the bed, carefully placing the onesie and pregnancy test on the bed side table.

He cuddled you closer, hand stroking your belly nonstop, a habit he would develop during your pregancy, along with talking and singing to your bump. When you calmed down a little, he got up to turn off the lights and grab the remote, turning the TV on and getting back on the bed, pulling the cover over the both of you.

"Thank you for being the most amazing man on the planet. I honestly wouldn't know what to do without you", you told him, he thanked you with a kiss on the lips.

"The band is taking a break after this tour, and there is no questioning about it. I wanna be there for you through everything. I wanna help decorate her nursery and go to every doctor's appointment", he told with determination.

"You keeping calling the baby a girl", you giggled as you pointed it out.

"I just know it's a girl", he started to draw swirls with his finger over your belly.

"Well, she's gonna be the biggest daddy's girl", you laid your head down on his chest, his soothing movements making you sleepy.

"Damn right she is"

You were about to fall asleep when you felt his body tighten underneath you.

"Oh my god, baby, I had the weirdest fan interation today, I need to tell you about it", you could hear the frustration and annoyance in his voice. You laughed at it.

"Tell me all about it"

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runningincircl3s · 1 month ago

Text

Blood Sport

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Chapter Seven

masterlist

chapter warnings: none?? (but shit goes down lmao)(also i know tdopom and the ost were already released in this story, as andy mentions it in nothing ever after, but for the sake of the story let's pretend the songs mentioned in this chapter weren't on it!)

okayyy i know i say it on almost every chapter but i had so much fun writing this :) i've said before how i try not to take writing too seriously, but i still do put a lot of time and effort into my stories and i hope you like them as much as i do :) anyways happy friday!!

✦•······················•✦•······················•

It had been quite a few days, you weren't even sure which day of the week it was anymore, and you were still processing what you had read. The lyrics Noah had written.

You would sit in bed at night and read over them, like you were trying to find a hidden message in it. But the message wasn’t hidden, it was right there in your face.

“You never loved the thought of us, you’re too good to be true”

“You don’t want me the way I want you”

“Fooled me and you did it well, thought you were somebody else”

Folio had noticed you weren’t your usual self, that something had been bothering you for the past few days, but he gave you your space. He assumed you’d come to him when you were ready, but you never did, and he was starting to worry.

So, now, on the morning of Nicole’s party- which he assumed you’ve forgotten all about- he cornered you in the kitchen. You were getting a drink when he came up behind you, crossing his arms as he gave you a look.

“You gonna tell me what’s up?” He asked.

You sighed, setting your mug back down on the counter. You paused for a moment, debating whether to tell a lie, but that wouldn’t get you anywhere, you knew he’d catch you out.

“I found something in the hoodie Noah gave me.”

“Oh… Like a condom-”

“No!” You laughed, before taking a deep breath, “I think it's song lyrics, I… I think it might be about me…”

“What did it say?” He asked, his arms dropping back down to his side.

You reached into the pocket of your shorts, because of course you kept it on you at all times, and handed it over to him.

He unfolded the paper, his tongue dancing around his lips as he read, and he gave you a look before handing it back to you.

He sighed, and with a soft shake of his head, said,

“Do you remember the night of your birthday? When he left and nobody could get hold of him?”

"As if I'd ever forget."

“Well, turns out he got on the first flight back home. That’s why none of us could call him, or text him. He spent the entire flight writing that song, when we all came back home and found him in the studio, he was quiet, but he said he’d been writing a lot of lyrics… And, let's just say that wasn’t the only song he wrote for you.”

“There’s more?”

Folio nodded.

“If you really meant nothing to him, do you think he would’ve put so much time and effort into a song about you? This one,” he motioned to the paper in your hand, “He called Somebody else, once things cooled down a bit he wrote Take Me First and… Well I can’t remember the other ones.”

“What?”

Folio pulled his phone out, finding a picture Matt had sent him of a similar sheet of paper with lyrics scribbled onto them.

I lie to myself like it’s not too late

Convinced the past can still be changed

We know it’s gone, but I can’t move on

I wanna rewind, but it just replays

Jumping on a hand grenade

But it won't go off, no it won't go off

But it's too late to turn back now...

You felt your heart sink.

But you couldn’t show Folio how it made you feel.

“...So is he putting these songs on the next album?” You asked, crossing your arms, but Folio shook his head.

“No, after all the shit you got online after the fans found out what happened, he decided not to make things worse.”

You scoffed.

“You saw all that, huh?”

“Yeah… We all did. It really pissed Noah off seeing how they spoke about you-”

“As if he’s any better.” You shook your head, “Look, I want to move on. I don’t want to keep…”

Your voice caught in your throat. You swallowed hard, shaking your head like that might somehow shift the ache in your chest.

Folio leaned against the counter, arms crossed, watching your face carefully.

“You don’t want to keep what?” He asked, his voice softer now.

You let out a sharp breath.

“I don’t want to keep feeling like this. Like I’m stuck in the past. I came here for a fresh start, I knew it’d be hard but I didn’t ever think it’d be like this. Like no matter how hard I try, I’m always going to be tied to him in some way.” Your fingers tightened around the crumpled paper. “And it’s like he’s still tied to me, too. But I don’t know if that’s a good thing or just…” You exhaled shakily. “A curse.”

Folio let that sit for a moment before answering.

“Maybe it’s neither.” He said simply.

Your eyes flicked up to him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… maybe that’s just what happens when you really love someone. You can't just forget them overnight, and the universe has it’s ways of bringing you back together. Cause let’s be real, you and Noah, you were never just casual. Not to him.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” You scoffed.

“C’mon, y/n. He left that night, yeah. He shut you out. But he never stopped caring.” He motioned to the lyrics still clutched in your hand. “You think someone writes all these songs about a girl they don’t care about? Other people have hurt him in the past, all they got was a ‘fuck you’ and their number blocked. But not you.”

Your chest felt unbearably tight as your eyes dropped to the words, reading them again even though they were already burned into your brain.

Your voice was small when you finally spoke again.

“Then why didn’t he fight for me? And in all those months, why didn’t he reach out? If he still cared?”

Folio hesitated.

“I think, in his own way, he thought leaving was the safest thing to do. He was protecting himself in that moment, but I don't think he thought this far ahead… And c’mon, we all know he’s stubborn as fuck. I think he was waiting for you to reach out first.”

You blinked, caught off guard by that, but Folio continued.

“Look, I’m not saying he handled things right, neither of you did. But I think he was confused and hurting, just like you. And when you’re hurt, sometimes you run. That’s just what he did.”

Silence stretched between you.

“But he seemed to move on pretty quick.” Your voice was quieter now, but Folio still heard the bitterness laced in it.

“You mean him and Amy?”

You looked away. You didn’t need to say anything.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he admitted, “I think, at first, she was just a distraction. Something that stopped him thinking about you.”

You let out a sharp breath.

“Well, that’s not what Ruffilo told me. He said they were inseparable until I came back.”

Folio exhaled sharply, shaking his head.

“You really believe he could ever love somebody who isn’t you, y/n? We all knew different. We knew what they had wasn’t real- which is why she hated us, because she knew that we were right. That’s why she followed him everywhere, she had to be by his side at all times, trying to make him love her, and he allowed it, he played into it becuase he was trying to... Well, let's just say they were never inseparable because they were in love.”

You took a deep breath, letting his words sink in, feeling even more sorry for her having to be dragged into this mess.

“I can’t do this, Nick.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, and you hated the way it wavered. “I made a mistake moving here. I thought it’d be okay. I thought we were done with each other. But I can’t keep messing up people's lives.”

“Hey,” Folio’s face softened, “You’re not! Did you even listen to me? Or anyone in the last few weeks? He isn’t happy with her.”

Your breath hitched, and you forced yourself to shake your head.

“Then he should let her down gently and should find someone else.” Your voice was tight as you were barely holding it together. “Because I can’t go back there. Not even if I wanted to. Not after what I did to him.”

Folio opened his mouth to argue, but you cut him off.

“No!” Your voice cracked as you raised it, the tears finally spilling over, blurring your vision. “If he can still care about me after everything I put him through… I don’t deserve him.”

Folio’s face fell, his own throat bobbing as he swallowed. He didn’t try to argue with you this time. Because what could he say to someone who truly believed they weren’t worthy of love?

…

A couple hour passed, Folio gave you some time to cool off before knocking on your bedroom door.

“Y/n?”

There was a moment of silence before he heard your bed creak.

“Yeah?”

“…It’s Nicole’s party tonight, remember?”

“Oh, shit!” You groaned.

Your mind had been elsewhere for so long, you had forgotten about everything else. You hadn’t even bought her a gift.

You shot out of bed, swinging thr door open.

“Fuck, I forgot all about that, I've had so much else going on… Have you got her a gift?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it we can say it’s a joint gift.”

“Folio, I fucking love you.” You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding, before wrapping your arms around him, a hug you didn't know you needed.

You just about had time to hop in the shower, get dressed and get ready before Folio said it was time to go.

You were not looking forward to seeing Noah this evening, with all the conflict in your mind right now that was the last thing you needed, so you thought you’d turn up to Nicole’s party, stay for a little while before complaining of a headache and go home, hopefully before he even made it there.

So you cursed yourself when you both turned up at the same time.

As Folio pulled up to Jolly’s driveway, Noah and Amy were already there, getting out of his car.

Your breath caught the second you spotted them.

Noah slammed his car door shut, his expression flat as he walked towards the front door. Amy was at his side in an instant, her hand wrapping possessively around his arm, her eyes flicking toward you briefly, acknowledging you with a small smile.

You swallowed hard, willing yourself to stay composed.

Folio glanced at you as he put the car in park.

“We can wait a minute if you want.”

You shook your head quickly.

“No. Let’s just go in.” The sooner you got inside, the sooner you could find Nicole, say your hellos, and disappear before things got messy.

Folio hesitated but nodded, unbuckling his seatbelt.

You opened the door and stepped out, feeling the weight of Noah’s gaze before you even looked up. And when you did, you regretted it instantly.

His eyes lingered on you, but before either of you could say anything, Amy’s grip on his arm tightened. She turned to him with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Come on, baby. Let’s go say hi to your friends.”

Your stomach turned at the sound of it.

"Baby."

You ignored the way your fingers curled into fists at your sides and forced yourself to turn away, shutting the car door harder than necessary. You weren’t going to do this. Not here. Not tonight.

But as you followed Folio toward the house, you heard Amy murmur something to Noah, her voice just low enough that you couldn’t make out the words, but whatever she said made his shoulders stiffen.

Your mind screamed at you, telling you to go back. Go home. This was a bad idea.

But instead, you kept putting one foot in front of the other, fighting the urge to steal Folio's keys and dart back to the car.

You felt Folio’s arm wrap around your shoulders, comfortingly as you both walked to the door, letting Amy and Noah pass before stepping inside, Nicole’s face instantly lighting up as she spotted you.

“Finally! I’ve been waiting ages for you to turn up!” She grinned, pulling you into a hug.

“Yeah, sorry… Got caught in traffic.” You said with a small smile, “But happy birthday! We got you a joint gift.”

Folio handed the gift bag over to her, and she took it with a grin.

“Thank you so much! Can I get you guys a drink?”

“Sure, I’ll have beer!” Folio smiled, but you were more hesitant.

“I'll just have a coke, please. I kinda want to keep a clear head tonight.”��

“Good thinking,” she chuckled, walking the two of you towards the kitchen, before motioning to the back yard, “Look, Jolly decorated whilst I was at work today, doesn’t it look beautiful?”

You looked out into the garden, string lights were hung on the fence, there was a bonfire, a bar, a makeshift dance floor and of course the best speakers Matt would allow him to borrow.

“He really put a lot of thought into this, huh?” You smiled, watching how her face lit up as she watched her boyfriend talk with his friends by the fire.

“I know,” she smiled, “What did I do to deserve him?”

You noticed the way her bottom lip quivered as she spoke, making you frown.

“Hey, hey! No tears, it’s your birthday party!” You pulled her into a hug, and she nodded against your shoulder.

“I know, I know…" She sniffled, "I just really love him.”

“And he loves you too…”

She nodded, and you carefully wiped away the tears that had spilled from her eyes.

“Now… I love this song, and if you don’t dance with me I don’t know who else will.” You smirked, hearing the intro to First Date by blink 182.

“Uh… Me of course!” You heard Alyson call out, walking into the kitchen to greet you, and complaining about how Amy was already making comments about the setup outside.

So you, Nicole, and Alyson naturally made your way to the makeshift dance floor outside. The cool evening air wrapped around you, but the warmth of the string lights and the giddy energy between you and your girls made it easy to ignore.

The three of you sang along as you moved to the beat, carefree and lighthearted for the first time in what felt like forever. It felt good, just having fun, just being here with your friends, just living in the moment without thinking too much.

But, of course, it never lasted.

You turned mid-spin, breathless and smiling, and your gaze caught on something...

Or someone.

Noah was standing near the bonfire, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes trained on you. His expression was neutral, but the intensity of his stare made your heart stutter. He looked away the second your eyes met, but the damage was already done.

And Nicole noticed. Of course she did.

“Uh-uh, nope,” she grabbed your wrist, tugging you back towards her. “No looking at him tonight, honey. It’s my birthday, and I refuse to let you spend it stuck in your head over him.”

You blinked, heat rushing to your face.

“I wasn’t-”

“You were,” she interrupted, grinning. “But you’re not anymore.”

You huffed a laugh, shaking your head.

“Fine, fine.”

You let her pull you back into the moment, pushing everything else aside. You’d deal with your feelings and Noah another day.

For now, this was Nicole’s night, and Alyson had just put her favourite Pitbull song on, so you knew you weren't leaving the dancefloor any time soon.

…

Hours passed, yet in the right company it only felt like minutes. Some of Nicole's other friends arrived a little later, yet they seemed to keep to themselves. As the sun began to set, the sky turned into shades of warm oranges and deep purples, casting a soft glow over the party. The air turned cooler, a crisp breeze settling in, making you shiver slightly.

Folio, ever observant, caught it immediately.

“Here.” He took off his jacket and draped it around your shoulders without a second thought.

You glanced up at him, a grateful smile tugging at your lips.

“You didn’t have to-”

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolled his eyes but grinned. “Just take it.”

You did, pulling it tighter around yourself as you exhaled, watching the flames of the bonfire flicker against the night.

Everyone had started to settle down, some grouped around the fire, others stood by the bar or swaying to whatever song was playing now.

And then Jolly cleared his throat.

The chatter died down as he rose to his feet near the fire, shifting slightly before speaking.

“I, uh…” He glanced around, swallowing hard before his gaze landed on Nicole. His whole face softened. “I just wanted to say something, to Nicole.”

Nicole blinked, her brows knitting together slightly.

“Jol…?”

He let out a breath, then smiled. The most genuine smile you had ever seen.

“Babe, when I met you, six years, four months and twenty days ago, I never thought a beautiful, intelligent, kind woman like you would ever look my way… But you did, and every single day I wonder what the hell I did to deserve you.”

Your heart stopped. You knew exactly what was happening here, and so did the guys- besides Matt and Noah, who both looked a little puzzled.

Nicole’s eyes widened, her hands flying to her mouth as Jolly reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box, dropping down onto one knee.

Nicole’s hands were trembling, her lips parted in shock as he opened the box, revealing a delicate, stunning ring that caught the light of the fire.

“I want to keep this short, I did plan a little speech but...” Jolly let out a breathy chuckle, “I want it to come straight from the heart. I love you.” Jolly said simply, his voice steady, sure. “And there is nobody else I want to spend the rest of this life with. So, Nicole Rodriguez… Will you marry me?”

For a moment, everything, and everyone was completely still, silenced.

Then,

“Yes!” Nicole practically launched herself at him.

Jolly laughed as he caught her, holding her tightly before pulling back just enough to slip the ring onto her finger and kiss her.

You smiled, clapping along with everyone else, warmth spreading through you as you watched Matt wipe the tears from Alyson’s eyes. The whole moment made you feel warm inside, the amount of love in the air, between Matt and Alyson, Nicole and Jolly. Sure, it did made your heart hurt, but right in this moment you felt nothing but pure joy.

But you couldn’t help but wonder if you would ever feel something like this...

You thought back to last time, last year, when Matt had proposed to Alyson. It was during the tour on a day off, a day spent at the beach. Back when you were conflicted over what you wanted.

“Hey,” Noah’s voice broke your focus as he sat down beside you on the sand, his shadow long in the light of the fire. He offered you a skewer of roasted marshmallows, the edges golden and soft, before smirking. “You look like you could use something sweet... Oh, and some marshmallows.”

“Thanks." You chuckled, taking it. Your fingers brushed his briefly, and for a moment, neither of you moved.

Noah leaned back, taking in the sight of the sea as the moon reflected off it.

“This is the kind of night that sticks with you forever.” He said.

You nodded, turning your head around to look back at Matt and Alyson, who were wrapped up in their own little bubble of love and laughter by the fire.

“I'm so happy for them, they're perfect for each other.”

“It’s what everyone’s chasing, I guess,” Noah said quietly. “That kind of connection. That kind of bond.”

You glanced at him, his profile softened by the moonlight. There was something wistful in his voice, like he was trying to reach for something he couldn’t quite touch. There was so much he wanted to say, to confess, but now wasn’t the time. The time would come soon, though, he was sure of it.

“It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?” He asked suddenly, turning to look at you.

“Wonder what?”

“What it’s like to have something so... unshakable. What it’s like to have something that strong.”

You thought back to that night more than you'd care to admit, wondering what he truly meant, whether there was something he was going to say to you if you weren't interrupted.

“Do you believe in soulmates, Noah?” You asked, your eyes meeting his as you waited for his answer.

“I, uh… I like to think everyone has someone out there,” he nods, “I know I’ve met mine already.”

“You have…?” You swallow hard.

“Ruffilo.” He said proudly with a smile, “I know he’s my platonic soulmate, at least. I can’t imagine my life without him, we’ve been there for each other through everything, through the depths of hell but also the happiest moments of our lives. I know some people think soulmates are a romantic thing but… I don’t believe that.”

“Noah,” you pout, “I’m glad you have him.” You say with a smile, resting your head on his shoulder.

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

“I don’t know.” You admit, looking out at the sea, “I’ve always believed there’s someone out there for me, maybe I’ve already met them, maybe I haven’t. Growing up I always imagined meeting them, getting married, having kids… But I don’t know if that’s what I want anymore…”

“Why not?” He asked, curiously.

“I just can’t imagine being the love of somebody’s life. Sure, I might love them, but how would I know they’re telling me the truth? How would I know I’m not being lied to?”

Noah frowned, tilting his head down to look at you.

He thought about how he could put it into words. Should he just spit it out, "I love you!"... No, you deserve more than that. "You're the love of my life"... No, too cheesy.

But before he had the chance to make the confession that could possibly change your life forever, Vinny appeared, dropping into the sand on your other side, already diverting the conversation.

Noah was going to tell you then. Everything could've been so much different if he had just said it, if he had told you the truth that night, and not wait until it was too late.

Because if he had, then the two of you would be sat together now, your head resting on his shoulder, holding hands, stealing kisses by the fire.

But instead, he was sat several feet away from you, his girlfriend by his side, resting her head on his shoulder, playing with the rings on his fingers.

You didn't even realise you were staring, until you felt him staring back.

But you didn’t look away, not straight away. The music faded, and everyone around you seemed to disappear, your heart fluttered under his gaze. Instinct told you to look away, but you hesitated. Because you wanted to know...

Was he thinking the same as you right now? Did he regret anything? Did he also wish he didn’t leave that night? Did he also wish the two of you could’ve talked it out back then, instead of spending months in pain.

Did he also wish you had never even met?

Before you could figure it out, movement in your peripheral vision- Amy kissing his cheek- snapped you back to reality. You shook your head, shaking off the feeling that was lingering in your chest, and got up, walking away.

Amy loved him, you told yourself, she deserves him more than you. She'd never hurt him the way you did. She'd treat him the way he deserved.

But she had felt the way his body tensed.

She had seen the way his breathing changed.

And in that moment, she knew.

The realisation hit her like a punch to the gut. Her fingers tightened around Noah’s arm, grounding herself. Grounding him.

“Noah...” she murmured, so soft it almost got lost under the noise of celebration, the sound of Jolly popping open a bottle of champagne.

He blinked, as if surfacing from a trance.

“Yeah?”

Amy forced a small laugh, tilting her head up at him.

“Could you imagine it?”

His brows furrowed.

“Imagine what?”

She gestured subtly toward Jolly and Nicole.

“Us. Getting married someday. I know we’ve only been together five months but… Do you think about the future too?”

Something passed over Noah’s face, so quick that if Amy hadn’t already been looking for it, she might have missed it.

But she was looking.

And she did see it.

The hesitation, the uncertainty, the lie he wanted to tell but couldn’t bring himself to say.

Because he had only ever imagined his future with one person, and it wasn't Amy.

Noah’s lips parted slightly, as if he were going to speak.

Just say yes. Just say yes.

But no words came.

Amy exhaled sharply through her nose, nodding to herself like she had just confirmed the inevitable.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything." She murmured, her voice quieter than before.

“Amy-”

“No.” She shook her head, forcing a smile, as if she could will herself into believing this didn’t hurt. “It’s okay.”

But it wasn’t okay.

Because now she knew for sure. She had been right since the beginning.

Noah hadn’t fully been hers from the start.

She had felt it in the way he kissed her. The way he held her. How he always seemed present, but never completely there. She had tried to ignore it, tried to believe that maybe, just maybe, if she loved him enough, he would love her the same way in return.

But love shouldn’t have to be earned.

And she refused to be that girl again. The one who waited around, hoping one day, she’d finally be enough.

Amy swallowed against the lump in her throat and let go of his arm.

“I think I should go.”

Noah’s head snapped toward her, jaw tightening.

“Amy, no, don’t-”

She smiled, but it didn’t reach her tear filled eyes.

“It’s okay, Noah. Really.”

She took a step back, arms crossing over her stomach, as if holding herself together. She wanted to scream at him, she wanted to cry, tell him she hated him, but she couldn't. Where would that get her?

Because she did love him, and she wanted him to be happy. She wished and hoped and prayed every night that it would be her, that she could give him what he wanted, but no. It was clear now.

“Just… do me a favour, okay?”

His throat bobbed as he nodded.

Amy let out a slow breath, shaking her head, her voice breaking as she whispered,

“Don’t lie to yourself anymore.”

And then she turned and walked away, disappearing into the house, leaving Noah sitting there, surrounded by laughter and love.

Yet feeling completely alone.

…

You were stood by the fridge, talking with Bryan, when Amy stormed past, sobbing her heart out.

You and Bryan exhanged a glance, before you backed away, rushing to follow her.

"Amy?" You called out, catching her just before she made it to the front door.

You barely had time to register her tear-streaked face before she spoke.

“I was wrong again.” She whispered, laughing bitterly.

Your heart sank.

“What do you mean?”

Amy sniffled, shaking her head.

“I thought Noah was the one. I really thought…” She trailed off, blinking rapidly.

“What happened?”

She hesitated. Then, in a small, broken voice, she said,

“It’s you.”

You froze.

“He’s yours, y/n. He was always yours.” She let out a shaky breath, like she was on the verge of hyperventilating. “I can’t compete. I can’t do this anymore. I won't sit around and wait for the inevitable. Not again! I won’t!”

Guilt hit you like a ton of bricks.

“Amy, I-”

“No.” She shook her head. “It’s not your fault. It’s his. If he loved me, even the slightest bit, he would’ve… He would’ve ended things sooner, and not put me through all this shit when he could see what it's been doing to me!” Her voice cracked, and for the first time, she looked truly exhausted. “I deserve more than this. And you…” she swallowed, eyes glassy, "You need to figure out what the hell you want. You say you're over him, that you don't want him, but does he know that? Because the way you look at him says otherwise."

You opened your mouth to speak, but you physically couldn't get any words out.

You felt sick.

You wanted to argue, to tell her she was wrong, but you couldn’t. Because a part of you knew she wasn’t. If you were truly over Noah, you wouldn't think about him every night, your pulse wouldn't race when he looked your way, you woouldn't wonder if you could've ever made things work.

She nodded once, more to herself than to you, before reaching for the doorknob. But before she could leave, you grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

"Amy... I never wanted this." You said softly, guilt threading through every syllable.

She gave you a sad smile.

"I know. Neither did I."

And then she was gone, slipping out the door and leaving you standing there, feeling like the worst person in the world.

The party continued outside, like nothing had happened. This was Nicole's night, it was supposed to be full of friendship, love and fun memories, and you weren't about to let Noah ruin it. You took a shaky breath, running a hand through your hair, before turning back toward the kitchen, only to find yourself face to face with Matt.

His expression was unreadable, but his arms were crossed, his stance firm.

"She’s right, you know," he said quietly. Fuck, did he hear all of that? "You need to figure this out."

Your heart sank.

"Matt, I-"

"No," he cut you off gently, but firmly. "I’m not saying this to make you feel worse. I’m saying it because I care about both of you. And if you don’t do something about this... You’re both just gonna keep hurting each other, and the people around you. forever"

You looked away, staring at the floor as his words settled into your bones.

"Do you still love him?" He asked, voice softer now.

Your lips parted, but no words came. Because even though the answer was right there, just waiting to be spoken, you couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

And Matt saw it.

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"That’s what I thought."

Silence stretched between you. You wanted to run, to bury this all deep down and pretend it didn’t exist. But that wasn’t an option anymore, was it?

"Come on. Let’s get you some air." Matt smiled softly.

He didn’t wait for a response before guiding you toward the back door. You followed, your mind spinning, your chest tight. The cool night air hit you as you stepped outside, but it did little to calm the storm raging inside you.

And then, just as you were trying to steady your breathing, trying to make sense of the chaos in your head, you saw him, sitting there, laughing with his friends like nothing happened. Like he hadn't just broken Amy's heart.

Hands curling into fists, you exhaled sharply, the fire outside flickering as if it, too, shared your frustration.

And then, without thinking, you moved.

“NOAH!!”

His head lifted slightly at the sharpness in your voice.

Before he could react, you grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him inside.

His brows shot up, stunned.

“What the fu-”

You shoved him against the wall, fire burning in your chest.

“What the fuck are you playing at? Your girlfriend just left in tears and you didn’t think to go after her? Haven’t you learnt from the past?!” You were seeing red.

“She asked if I’d marry her, I didn’t know what to say.” He shrugged, trying to defend himself.

“Then you’d say yes!” You shouted.

“And be miserable forever? Lie to her every single day for the rest of our lives?” He scoffed, “Y/n, it’s not that simple.”

You let out a sharp, humourless laugh, stepping back just enough to glare at him.

“Not that simple? Not that simple?” Your voice was incredulous, barely containing the rage inside you. “She loves you, Noah. She spent the last five months giving you everything! She wanted a future with you. And you couldn’t even pretend to consider it? This was supposed to be Nicole’s night, and as usual, you fucked it up!”

Noah glared at you.

“I fucked it up?” He scoffed, “Oh, now that’s rich coming from you.”

“Don’t you dare.” You spat, through gritted teeth, pointing a finger at him. “Noah Sebastian. We are in the past. You said it yourself. We were a… a mistake.” You swallowed hard, forcing the words out.

“Don’t you dare give me that bullshit.”

“What-”

“C’mon. It’s fucking obvious, how many times have I caught you looking at me like that tonight?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Noah raised an eyebrow, stepping closer, closing the distance between you.

“C’mon, don’t play dumb… I saw it, she saw it.”

Your heart hammered in your chest. He was too close- too close for comfort. But you couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, because deep down, you knew he was right.

“You’re out of your damn mind, Noah.” You muttered, trying to step back, but he followed, stalking forward until your back hit the wall.

“Oh, am I?” His voice was lower now, rough, taunting. His breath was warm against your cheek, his presence suffocating in the best and worst ways. “Tell me, then. Tell me you feel nothing when I’m this close.”

Your jaw clenched. You refused to give him the satisfaction, but the way your pulse betrayed you, the way your breath hitched at his proximity, it was humiliating.

And he knew it.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, his fingers twitching at his sides, like he wanted to reach for you but was holding himself back.

Or maybe he wasn’t.

Because a second later, his hand found your hip.

You tensed, every nerve ending in your body screaming at you to pull away... no, to pull him closer. To cave. To feel him again, to pretend that nothing had changed.

But everything had.

“Fuck you, Noah.” Your voice was steel, even as your hands shook. You shoved him back, putting space between you. “You broke that poor girl’s heart. Whether you ever really loved her or not, she deserves to know the truth, she needs closure, don’t you think?”

Noah exhaled slowly, dragging a hand down his face. For a second, you thought he might argue, that he might say something selfish, something you wanted to hear but couldn’t allow yourself to.

Instead, he just stared at you.

And God, you hated the way he looked at you. Like he was searching for something. Like he was waiting for you to say the words first.

“Noah.” You swallowed, forcing down the lump in your throat. “Go after her. She never deserved to be sucked into our mess. If Amy ever meant anything to you, you’d go after her right now. You'd go after her and you’d apologise. For everything. Please, Noah."

But he didn’t move.

And then Amy’s voice echoed in your head, full of heartbreak.

“He’s yours, y/n. He was always yours.”

-----------------------------

@bloody-spades @death-ofpeace-ofmind @miss570 @dominuslunae @dontwantthemoney @amelia-acero @noahslutbastian @blade-dressed-in-red @super-btstrash-posts @kait16xo @oobleoob @sunshine-lvrr @lacy1986 @enemiestolovershoe @samanthasgone @superpiratecriminalchef @lukeevangelista @lunabuna991 @ami--gami @bluehairpunklol @darknightstarryeyes @xxkittenkissesxx @renegadebirch

#noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens fanfic #★blood sport #noahsebastian #noah sebastian imagine #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian

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lilgarbitch · 3 months ago

Text

For Better Or For Worse - Noah Sebastian

Beside You Pt. 2

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

CW: more angst<3

Word Count: 1.2k

Author’s Note: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tags: @theanarchymuse95 @dontwantthemoney @chey-h @badomensgoodomens @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @enemiestolovershoe @blade-dressed-in-red @xmads-omensx @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @thatchickwiththecamera @tosoundlessdarkistare

Y/N

It’s been about three years since that day, give or take. All I know is that time has passed and I’ve lost track. Things have changed, yet stayed the exact same. The pain has eased with time, but the love has yet to die. I’m still living in the old house, just changing as much of the interior as I could without feeling like I’ve lost too much. Because what else will be left when the hurt is gone? I now have a bed and sheets that have never touched his skin. A couch that didn’t home one or more of the boys in a time of need. The sad yellowing walls are now a light grey, with no sign of smoke stains or holes from bad decisions. Even I’ve changed. My hair is different, I’ve retired piercings, gotten new tattoos, and even changed my style. Things were different. Yet everytime I glanced into a room, I could see the memories replaying in my head like an old movie. Everytime I see the unclosed hole of my lip piercing, I’m reminded of Noah joining me for a last minute, impulsive decision. Everyday, I debate covering the tattoo that we got together when Nick started apprenticing, but then I see a photo of him on stage, singing with his arm raised, and I see that he still has his too.

He’s changed too. Not to the point of losing recognition, but enough that I can tell he’s getting healthier out there. His voice has grown, his hair is shorter and choppy, and he’s fit into himself better than he ever has before. I don’t mean to look at pictures of him and the boys, but I could never unfollow their accounts. I could never pretend that my love died that day like they have. It’s an internal battle everytime I see him, debating if him leaving me behind was really what he needed to do.

But I know it wasn’t. Because in the days where I really miss him and really want to feel the grief of the past, I listen to their new music. It’s not hard to understand where the lyrics come from. I’ve known Noah for too long to ignore how he portrays his emotion through his music. But what I don’t understand is why. Why sing of regret? Why put yourself through all of this pain and misery when we could have lived a different way? Every time his voice rings through my home, all I can ask is would you have been there when I came home? Could you not have held on to another day, just for us to be together? I could have easily joined you in your journey, nothing else more important to me than you, so why make the decision for me? Especially when all it resulted in was the two of us living in regret?

His regret being leaving. Of stupidly deciding that I was better off without him, even after years of me trying to prove that nothing could be worse than not having him by my side. Our lives may have never stopped that day, but I know, at least for me, that my will to try and make life worth living was gone the second he drove off.

That leads to my regret. The regret of holding on for so long. To still be holding on. To the hope that one day, things can be okay again. Because I’m terrified. Terrified I’ll never see him again. Terrified that, one day, I’ll accept never seeing him again. Terrified that I won’t be okay again unless he comes back. Terrified that no matter the outcome, I won’t be happy again. And those are the days that I’ve lived for the past few years. In fear of losing someone I already lost. Because there was a day where I allowed him to pull me out of a dark and lonely place, only to allow him to push me back in, and still forgive him in hopes he’ll pull me out again.

Noah

The days have become grueling again. I shoved my emotions into lyrics, pouring my rage and guilt into melodies, and it was a simple distraction��until tour started. And every song was another reminder of her. I didn’t even think. I was so focused on using my music as an outlet that I forgot it could bite me in the ass. That I’d be forced to travel back to Virginia, and sing these lyrics under the same sky. One we’d both be staring up at together again.

I was more than grateful that Sumerian Records was able to get us an opening spot for Attila’s tour, but that meant within a month, I’d be back in Richmond and close to her again. Each night of the tour so far was painful, just counting down the seconds until the next day, because it was another day closer to home. And I don’t mean the home I grew up in, but the person I left behind.

I had the whole world in my hands, and with one stupid decision, I gave it all away. What did I even think I would save? Life without her has been miserable. I thought I was helping both of us by leaving, but with every free moment I got over the last three years, all I could do was wish it was filled with her presence. I could’ve made it work, I just didn’t want to try. And I knew her long enough to know that she would’ve made it the easiest thing in the world. So this was my burden to take. Because I’m the only one to blame. I kept telling myself that she was so much better off without me. With nothing but the memories of my face. But now I know that, even if she was doing better, I wasn’t. Because I have no use now that she’s gone.

I have no way of knowing how to deal with this. I knew better than anyone else that the decisions I made ruined things, but I couldn’t handle being back there and not trying. I knew the chances of me absolutely fucking everything up again by simply showing my face, but the risk was worth it. I couldn’t have a chance like this and not take it. I would never be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least see if there was a possibility to have her again. This could either destroy both of us completely, or finally be a second chance at being happy again. I had to take it. I had to do this, because I was running out of faith.

PART THREE

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian reader insert #bad omens #bad omens fanfiction #Spotify

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roosterforme · 2 years ago

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The Younger Kind Part 31 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley knows there's only one way to contend with what Carl did, and he will gladly do it for you. All he wants is his house, his kid and his girl. You on the other hand don't know quite how to deal with anything that's going on, because it all seems out of your control.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, fluff, fighting, blood, and age gap (18+)

Length: 3500 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

You were so anxious for your first day of work, you actually woke up way too early and spilled blazing hot coffee all over your scrubs, forcing you to make a detour back to the bedroom to get changed. All you seemed to be able to think about was that video. That goddamn video. You wished you never looked in that box in the attic.

Once again, you were on the verge of tears as you pulled on a clean top and went to wake Noah up for the day. Everything felt like too much right now unless he was with you. The fact that you were as dependent on Noah as he was on you was probably nothing to brag about, but he really lit up every time you read to him or made him food. And you felt much better inside when he was snuggled up with you or holding your hand.

You felt like his mom. You felt like you belonged here with him. He trusted you to take care of him, and you always would. But your confidence where Bradley was concerned felt stunted now, and you couldn't even talk to him about it. If you were even strong enough to bring it up at all.

Noah climbed out of bed and went right to you for a hug, never questioning if he was welcome with you. "Morning, sweet Noah," you whispered against his soft hair. "Did you have happy dreams?"

He yawned and said, "Yeah. I was a pink dinosaur, and all of the other dinosaurs were afraid of me. So I got to eat all the Skittles."

"Wow," you said with a laugh as you carried him into the kitchen for breakfast. "That's the best dream I've ever heard of."

"Yeah, I know."

He ate some eggs while you successfully drank your coffee and vanilla creamer without spilling it this time. And when you dropped him off at daycare, the same girl was working at the front desk.

"Hi, Noah," she said sweetly before handing you the clipboard to sign with a bland expression. You kissed Noah on the cheek and watched him walk in with the other kids before you signed your name. "And will you be picking him up again today, or should we be expecting another babysitter?"

You froze, and a startled laugh escaped your lips. "I'll be picking him up. And I'm the only babysitter." She appraised you again, so you added, "Only the best for Lieutenant Bradshaw and his son," before you spun on your heel and strolled out to the parking lot.

You were driving the Bronco. You were in charge of Noah. Bradley was acting like some sort of sugar daddy boyfriend with the credit card you had tucked in your wallet. You shouldn't have been feeling insecure at all. You tried not to think about anything except getting to work on time for your first day.

And being out of the house did help. You met all of the doctors and other nurses, and some of them were your age. Dr. Kelly treated you to lunch, and you got to chat with her a bit. You learned you'd get to assist with a few special needs kids later in the week. It was exciting. You had your own tiny workspace. Being there occupied your mind.

But when you were asked to fill out a small stack of new hire paperwork in the afternoon, your pen stopped on the page multiple times. You hesitated twice before you eventually wrote Bradley's address as your own. You wrote his name and phone number down as your emergency contact, but you felt ridiculous writing 'boyfriend' where it asked for your relationship to him. After a brief debate, you wrote it anyway and moved on. And a beneficiary for your life insurance? Well, you didn't really have anyone else, so you put Noah.

And then when you handed everything back in, you felt kind of like you were pretending to be an adult.

----------------------------

Bradley waited on his bunk for Carl to return. It was getting late, and he wondered where the fuck he was. Without completely dismantling the tiny room, Bradley had searched through as much of Carl's shit as he could. And that was after confirming that he was only missing the one polaroid that you sent with him.

His ears were ringing. Fingers twitching. He was absolutely repulsed by the thought of anyone else looking at that picture. But especially Carl. That was a line you just didn't cross with a bunkmate. Bradley had seen some wild shit in his days, walked in on some things he wished he could unsee. But you simply did not mess with personal items. And you certainly didn't take anything under any circumstances without permission. And if it was anything pertaining to a wife, girlfriend or significant other, it was absolutely forbidden.

And if you broke any of these unwritten rules, well... you should know what you were in for.

When Bradley heard a key in the door close to midnight, his hands automatically curled into fists. Your pretty face popped into his mind, smiling up at him, a teasing smirk on your lips. Even though you weren't here, you deserved to be defended right now. He'd protect you and Noah until he used up his dying breath. And that just meant things weren't looking too hot for Carl at the moment.

The other man strolled in wearing his gym clothes, and it struck Bradley that Carl was probably a little older than he was. He was in good shape, too, but that wouldn't stop Bradley from beating the absolute shit out of him if necessary.

"What's up, Carl?" he asked, remaining seated with his fists planted on either side of him on the bed. When Carl seemed barely able to meet his eyes, Bradley knew for sure.

"Hey," he replied awkwardly. "Just wanted to hit the gym when it was empty."

Bradley just watched him for a few seconds, silently demanding eye contact. When Carl finally stopped bumbling around and met his eyes, Bradley slowly stood. "Where is it?"

Carl's eyes flashed with panic as Bradley rolled his shoulders and took a step closer in the already limited space. "What? What are you talking about?" He tried to back away, but there was really nowhere to go.

"If you make me ask again, it's going to be a lot worse for you, man."

"I... I..." Carl's eyes followed Bradley's left hand as he loosened his fist. And then Bradley slammed him back against the door.

"You know better," Bradley growled. "This isn't your first deployment. You know the rules. And it belongs to me. Where. Is. It?"

"The photo?" Carl whispered as Bradley pressed the heel of his hand against his sternum with even more pressure.

Bradley raised his voice. "Where the hell is it? It better have never left this fucking room."

"I have it!" Carl swore, and Bradley released him.

"Get it," Bradley said as calmly as he could, but his voice was shaking. He watched Carl dig around in his bedding, procuring the photo of you and your perfect tits and your barely concealed pussy. Bradley had a flashback to Noah's birthday party when Jake kissed you. Then he pictured you at the fraternity house, drunk and helpless. Carl was about to pay a pretty large price.

"Here," he grunted, extending the polaroid out to Bradley. Once he set it down on top of his dresser, making sure the photo was still perfect, he turned back to Carl and sucker punched him right on the nose.

Blood was gushing onto his gym shirt as Bradley said, "That's fucked up, Carl. You had my photo in your bed."

He was holding his nose, looking at Bradley with guilty eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"That's my girl, you piece of shit." Bradley was seething as he rammed Carl back up against the door.

"She's your girl?" he asked, trying to stop the bleeding with both hands now. "She looks barely legal. How old is she?"

Bradley released him and took a step back before he did more damage than he intended to. "Do you really think it's a good idea to ask me that, Carl? You probably jerked it to my girlfriend after you stole my photo, and now you're asking me how old she is?" He was panting, letting the rage flow through him, and then both hands curled into fists again.

"Shit, I didn't- I wasn't-"

"You're not very bright, are you?" Bradley asked, cutting him off. "I'll let you walk out of this room with your face mostly intact as long as you guarantee that you'll wear your bruises around this carrier without even so much as looking in my direction. And don't you dare visit the infirmary. Your indiscretion doesn't blow back on me. You got it?"

Carl looked resigned as he lowered his hands from his face and nodded. "Yeah. I got it."

Then Bradley landed one more punch, hard as hell, and Carl staggered around the room for a few seconds before he managed to take himself out into the hallway and toward the bathroom. Bradley carefully picked up his polaroid, and his heart ached. He was yours, and he'd have done anything to see your beautiful face in person right now.

And if Carl didn't so much as speak to him or look at him again for the rest of the deployment, it would be just fine with Bradley.

-------------------------

You always felt like you were rushing around. When you got out of work an hour early one Wednesday, you decided to use the time to go grocery shopping before you picked up Noah. It was easier to get just the necessities this way. The downside was that you were definitely getting lost in your own thoughts as you stood in the produce area selecting apples.

It was almost a relief that Bradley hadn't contacted you yet. If you had to look him in the eye right now, you weren't sure you could do it without crying. That USB drive was currently on top of the refrigerator where you couldn't see it, but it was still enough to upset you when you thought about it. But at the same time, you missed your boyfriend and wanted him to come home, and you knew Noah would benefit from talking to him.

You wasted so much time looking at fucking apples that you were going to be late if you didn't get going. You winced as you used the purple princess credit card to pay for the food, and then you organized everything in the back of the Bronco. You loved driving it and briefly wondered if he'd still let you after he got home.

You pulled into the gas station that was just a few blocks from Noah's daycare, once again using Bradley's credit card. You sighed as you inserted the card for payment and then started to fill the tank. And then you looked up toward the next row of pumps, and you were sure you knew that BMW. A second later, you met Meredith's gaze, and a chill went through your body.

You were afraid your voice was going to shake, but you called out, "You're not supposed to come near me."

She laughed maliciously. "This is a gas station, and I was here first. So maybe you should stay away from me."

"With pleasure," you snarled. You had to close your eyes against the sick feeling that rose inside you. Naked. You could picture her naked. Bradley used to love her.

"You already ruined my life," Meredith snapped. "So your little restraining order stunt really doesn't matter to me." Then she was climbing into her car, and you watched her peel out of the parking lot and into traffic, heading in the opposite direction from Noah's daycare.

Your hands were unsteady as you finished up at the gas pump. She was right; she had been at the gas station first. She was with Bradley first. She was Noah's mom before you ever came into the picture as his babysitter. She was everywhere, and she wouldn't go away.

----------------------

Bradley emailed you days ago to let you know he would be able to FaceTime with you and Noah tonight, but you'd only written back, "Sounds good." You didn't give him any updates. You didn't call him Daddy. You didn't say anything else.

Sounds good.

He grunted as he worked out in the gym. The sooner he could get this deployment completed and get home, the better. Carl's face was starting to look better now, but Bradley smiled every time he saw the bruises. He had no idea what excuse the other man had given for looking like a raccoon with two black eyes and a bent nose, and he didn't really fucking care. If anyone assumed he was the one who caused the bruising, they probably also assumed it was warranted.

Those polaroids were wrapped up and put away now. But Bradley wanted the real thing. Your body and your voice. He'd been thinking about how insufficient it felt to call you his girlfriend. Just the same way you'd always felt like more than Noah's babysitter to them. But now with your lack of a real response, Bradley felt a little foolish for thinking about proposing to you.

When it was time to make the call home, he sighed deeply. And when you answered your phone on the living room couch, your expression was hesitant.

"Princess," he rasped, holding the iPad with both hands. "Baby. I miss you."

It felt like an eternity before you responded. "We miss you, too."

He had so much he wanted to say and talk about, but your voice was just a little too soft, and your eyes were just a little too sad. "What's wrong?" he asked, but you were already shaking your head.

"Here. Talk to Noah." And then you were out of the frame, and Noah was there. Bradley laughed as he talked about daycare and making something called peanut butter snails and going for hikes. He held up some of the coloring sheets he had worked on, and Bradley noted that you had dated all of them. You always did little things like that. Now he'd be able to see which days his son worked on the coloring sheets when he got home.

"I miss you so much, bub."

"Will you come home soon?" Noah asked, and Bradley's heart absolutely melted.

"Really soon. And we can go to the beach and maybe take a little vacation, okay? Now can you sit with Princess so I can talk to her, too?"

And then you were immediately back in the frame and scooping Noah onto your lap. So you must have been standing right there the whole time.

"That's better," Bradley sighed. His house, his kid, his girl. "You have no idea how much I wish I was on that couch with you."

You smiled softly. "Do you know when you'll be back?"

"I'm not sure, Baby. Not soon enough. Tell me about work."

So you indulged him in a few stories, and it sounded like you fit in there. You liked your coworkers, especially Dr. Kelly. You loved all the kids you got to talk to and care for all day. But you still seemed a little distant.

"Are you sleeping okay?" he asked. "Any issues?"

You pressed a kiss to Noah's cheek and said, "We just miss you. That's all."

"We want you to come home," Noah whined.

"Please?" you added softly.

"So soon," he reiterated, wishing he could give you both a kiss. "Watch for my emails?"

"I will," you promised.

"I love you. Both of you."

Then you and Noah said in unison, "I love you, too." And then he had to end the call.

------------------------

Well it was done now. You were on your way to get the last few things from your place with Noah before you turned your key over to your landlord. Or former landlord. You were done paying rent here, and now you could start helping Bradley pay his mortgage. In fact, he would be home in a few days, and you'd talk to him about it then. There were actually a lot of things you wanted to have a conversation about.

"Do you remember when you came here for dinner? And I made you spaghetti in my little kitchen?"

"That was a long time ago," Noah insisted, and you held his hand as you walked up the sidewalk. "You live at my house now."

"Yep," you replied softly as you let go of his hand and dug around in your bag for the key you hardly ever used now. "Let's just hope that makes your Daddy happy and not annoyed since I never really gave him a verbal answer," you mumbled, finally locating the key.

As you shoved it into the lock, Noah knelt down and picked something up from the porch. "What's this?" he asked, reaching his hand up to you.

Your eyes went wide. "Drop it," you said right away, and he let the piece of broken glass fall back to the porch. But there was more. Both of you were standing in it, and when you reached to turn the knob, there must have been a shard there.

"Shit," you gasped as your right palm started bleeding. Your heart was pounding in your ears as you kicked the door fully open. One of the panes of glass in the door had been smashed, and there was more of the mess on the floor inside. "Don't touch anything," you hissed, and Noah started crying.

You kept him close enough to take a few pictures as soon as you were able to fumble with your phone. You took seven photos of all the glass plus the item that had been left. For you. It was just a dollar store coloring book, but there was a note on top of it written in crayon. Have fun playing house.

It had to have been from Meredith. Who else could have done it? She was already claiming you ruined her life. And ever since you saw her at the gas station, you were nervous that wasn't the last of her.

Blood was starting to pool a little bit in your upturned palm, and there wasn't much you could do at the moment except for ruin your shirt. "Let's get out of here," you whispered, and the two of you walked back across the porch, the glass crunching beneath your feet.

You were able to buckle Noah with one hand, but even when you got back to Bradley's house, you were still bleeding. And the glass needed to be removed. So you finally caved and called Natasha.

"I kind of need your help," you told her vaguely over the phone.

She laughed in response. "I kind of need a lot of things. What can I do for you?"

"Can you come by and help me remove a piece of glass from my dominant hand?"

"Fuck. Of course. I'm on my way," she replied, all tones of joking gone.

She was there in less than fifteen minutes, and she washed her hands right away. Then she used the sterilized tweezers that you handed to her to carefully remove the glass. "Just the one piece?" she asked, meeting your eyes.

"I think so. I already checked Noah really thoroughly."

Nat's expression darkened. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

You were pressing some gauze against your palm now. You might need stitches. You would probably benefit from getting stitches. But you couldn't do them yourself with your left hand, and you didn't want to leave Noah right now. Not even with Nat. He was watching a Mickey Mouse cartoon on the couch, and you didn't want him further away from you than that.

"It was just some broken glass," you replied.

"Here?" she asked, looking around the kitchen.

"No. At my old place. It's fine. I just need to tell my landlord about it, and I'll replace it." You were amazed how easily you were able to keep your voice steady.

"Right," Nat replied with an unamused look. "Bradley will be home in a couple days? Do you want me to stay here until he's back?"

"Of course not. We're fine," you insisted, averting your gaze.

She stood to leave and sighed deeply. "Please call me back if you need anything, okay? And do us both a favor and don't lie to Bradley when you pick him up."

You pressed your lips together and nodded. "I won't," you said softly. And after she left, you took Noah into bed with you and snuggled him tight.

---------------------

I hate Carl. I hate Meredith. I want Daddy to come home. Hope you enjoy your fic, @beyondthesefourwalls And thank you @mak-32 !

PART 32

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copperbadge · 1 year ago

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Europeans, I have some questions.

Do you know what ambrosia salad is?

If so, is the version you know of a) a normal salad or b) a "dessert" salad?

Do you know what Dirt Cake is?

If so, is that common knowledge in your region?

(What country/region do you live in, other context you wish to add, etc)

I'm working on the new Shivadh novel and I underestimated the comedic potential of Simon, a classically trained French chef who has been cooking for European nobility for thirty years, trying to set a menu for a graduation party with Noah, your average American teenaged garbage disposal, and Eddie, who is literally based on Guy Fieri. Reminds me of the bit in Infinite Jes where Michaelis mentions that Eddie and Gerald had him judge a debate about Hot Pockets and then confesses he doesn't actually know what they are.

(Context for the end of the snippet -- Hugo and Gwen are Simon's brother and sister-in-law, Claude is his young nephew.)

"Huh, okay, so are we doing like a salad theme?"

"How do you mean?" Noah asked.

"Oh, just, you've got a potato salad and a pasta salad. I'd suggest a Jello salad for dessert but..." Eddie broke off at Alanna's horrified look. "That is what you will see on everyone's face," he said to Noah, pointing at Alanna.

"Not so, I could do an aspic," Simon protested. "Sweet or savory, very traditional -- not this nonsense from American cookbooks from sixty years ago."

"American nonsense is kinda my brand," Noah pointed out. "Uh, I don't think we realized we were building a giant salad course but I am into that, actually. I'd like to discuss the Jello Salad," he said, and Eddie crowed delightedly while Alanna blanched, so Simon had to mediate a good-natured but extensive debate about gelatin in sweet dessert salads.

It was an education; when he showed Hugo and Gwen what Americans thought ambrosia salad was, later, their horror was gratifying. It was a fitting prelude to his next exhibit, the Dirt Cake pudding cup, which made Hugo pretend to faint but -- even better -- fascinated little Claude so much that he insisted he wanted them instead of a cake for his next birthday.

"He'll forget by the time the birthday arrives," Simon assured Hugo, who pretended to mop a sweaty brow. "And if he doesn't, I can elevate this. A light coffee mousse with chocolate biscuits -- drizzle with a sweet wine reduction -- jellied candy flavored with dragonfruit and blackcurrant."

"Can we put bones in the dirt?" Claude asked, already exploring his terrible American dessert options on his tablet.

"Not human," Gwen said hurriedly. "That's a bridge too far for a birthday party, my darling," she told Claude.

"Dinosaur bones?" Claude asked hopefully. Gwen and Hugo both looked at Simon.

"Meringue, or marzipan," Simon pronounced. "Yes, that could be done. Well, my little gravedigger, we will see," he told Claude, tousling his hair.

#shivadhverse #food

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blade-dressed-in-red · 3 months ago

Text

night time routine

pairing: noah sebastian x f!reader

content warnings: none! just fluff

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. While inspired by real individuals, the characters and events depicted are entirely fictional and should not be considered as factual representations of any real persons. This story is solely for entertainment purposes only and is not intended to be taken as truth or to cause any harm or offense.

A/N: i had this idea at 3am last night so here it is lmao. i have some other stuff brewing so that'll hopefully be out relatively soon, but in the meantime enjoy this :)

You and Noah have spent countless nights together, usually resulting in you doing a half-assed night routine, not wanting to spend any extra time away from him when he was around.

As things got more serious between you two, you realized you needed to start prioritizing your night routine like you did when you weren’t with him.

One night Noah asked you to come over for dinner and spend the night, which you happily accepted.

You had enough putting less effort into yourself, deciding to bring over all elements of your night time routine.

For your skincare, you brought your cleanser, face mask, toner, serums, moisturizer, retinol, and sunscreen for the following day. You decided to bring all your necessary post-shower products such as your body lotion and leave-in conditioner, already having some bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash at his place. You opted to bring your microfiber hair towel and silk bonnet as well, noticing how his cotton sheets were starting to mess with your hair every morning.

Once you made your way over and the night was dwindling down, you decided this was the best time to start getting ready for bed while he was sat at his desk playing a game before bed. You brought your toiletry bags into his bathroom, turned on the shower, and began the process.

While doing your skincare routine, hair in the towel, Noah came in wondering what was taking so long since he was quite used to you taking about ten minutes max out of the shower.

“I’m doing my night routine, wanna join?” you asked absentmindedly, thinking he’d disagree and go back to whatever he was doing, but he accepted the offer

You two did face masks together and applied a couple products to Noah’s skin, opting to avoid any of the harsher products since his skin was sensitive.

He asked various questions like a curious child in the process, “what does this one do?” “is this an exfoliator?” “is this the one that makes you so pretty?” he asked the last one jokingly, knowing your beauty didn’t come from a random bottle of what he learned to be hyaluronic acid.

He happily walked out of the bathroom, his skin feeling the best it’s ever been and settled into bed, waiting for you to finish up.

Being content with how dried your hair was, you braided it and put the bonnet over your head, walking back into the bedroom to Noah smiling like an idiot at your appearance.

“Aw, you look like a little chef” he claimed as you tucked yourself into the covers, lightly swatting his chest while giggling, earning a light chuckle from him.

Once you explained the benefits of a bonnet, he asked if he should get one since he was debating on growing his hair out again.

By the next time you spent the night, you two went to bed wearing matching bonnets.

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tag list: @xmads-omensx @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @lil-garbitch @fadingangelwisp @dontwantthemoney @heyyoplayer @death-ofpeace-ofmind @thatchickwiththecamera @shayeanna-ashlie @supersquirrel1996

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian fluff #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian headcannon #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens #bad omens cult #blade-dressed-in-red

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lolitaonline · 15 days ago

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Fluff Noah x Reader

Summary-Noah takes care of after a bad mental health day.

AN- For @lacy1986, @xmads-omensx, @fadingintothegrey I love you guys.

Word count- 684

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The whole morning since you woke up felt off. Maybe it was the way the air felt too stuffy, you felt restless but sleepy, dazed yet highly aware of your surroundings. You just wanted to turn over and go back into a deep sleep. You didn’t want to deal with anything or anyone. You just wanted to be alone.

Your phone started to vibrate with your alarm for work. 'I really don't want to go' you thought to yourself. Moving your arm out from under the sheets, you pat around for your phone to shut it off. '5 minutes before I have to get up' you begrudgingly thought to yourself. A sigh left your lips, making the choice to call out. Noah slept quietly next to you in bed. His chest rising and slowly falling. You turned your body over, nudging closer to his figure.

The slow motions of you moving closer made Noah shift himself in bed. Pulling you into his arms "you need to get up soon for work" he mumbled into your hair. You had already called out, which made you feel better, but you knew you would have to return at some point. That thought alone brought a headache along. You move your body around; chest pressed to Noah's. "I called out".

You were never the type to call out, you typically did that when you weren't having a good mental health day, or you were sick. This statement made Noah bring his hand up to your face, gently cupping your cheek. "Are you feeling, okay?" he perked up, more awake than before. This question made your heart spike. You weren't sure what it was, but you just didn't want to deal with any responsibilities. You didn't want to talk to anyone just be with Noah and have a quiet day.

"I just don't want to do anything, I feel tired and restless, and I don't want to deal with any major responsibilities like work" you mumbled out, 'I sound pathetic' you thought to yourself.

"That's okay, baby, we can just stay in today, we can have a date night, I guess day" Noah says, turning out of bed looking at the time on his phone showing 9:0o am. "Stay in bed, I'll make us some breakfast" he says before bending over giving you a kiss on your head. You both did your morning routine before crawling in bed and Noah left to the kitchen.

You could hear shuffling in the kitchen, knowing Noah was in the kitchen cooking and taking care of you made your heart warm. You lied in bed scrolling through Netflix and debating on what you should put on. Deciding to put on an anime for you and Noah to finish watching. You liked having days like this. Just you and Noah spending time together, forgetting the outside world, any problems, tasks, etc.

As you waited on Noah you went on your phone, ignoring any text or missed calls. You didn’t have it in you to have any real discussions; you just wanted peace today. Looking at any new game or show’s coming out soon, any new music to be released. Hearing your bedroom door open again, meetings wide grinned Noah holding a trey of food. “Breakfast is ready, babe” he says. Making his way over, placing the trey down, grasping the trye and help him get in a comfortable position.

Eggs, toast, bacon, and pancakes were presented. You enjoyed his cooking; you liked seeing him focused and hard working at any task he took up. His gasp brought you back from your thoughts “Yes, the new season is out, babe, can we watch it” his big brown eyes sparkling from joy brought a smile to your face. The sun brining an almost angelic glow around him, he looked beautiful. “Yes, we can watch it” you chuckled out reaching for a piece of the pancakes.

Noah pressed play, the show’s intro filling the room, Noah reached over pulling you closer to his body. Your head laying on his chest. You could get used to this feeling.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian imagine #noah sebastian fluff #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian blurb #noah sebastian fanfic

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femnoah · 3 months ago

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Female Noah headcannons part 3:

There's a running gag where the rest of the OG cast + sierra just assumes Neha has internalised homophobia. They all believe she's a feminine gay man who's either in denial or doesn't trust them about it, they have debates about it. She's straight and she tells them this repeatedly with no further information and intentionally vague cause honestly, she finds the entire thing hilarious. "Yeah, our friend Jeremy told us that he's gay and we were super supportive of him" "what do you think noah?" "that's nice I guess, don't know why you're asking me though, I'm straight not homophobic, Katie" or like "we all saw you staring at Alejandro's ...as...sets string bean you're not that slick" "okay.. and? I've already told you that I'm only attracted to the opposite sex Leshawna, idk what else you want from me"

Speaking of Alejandro, Neha falls big time without even realising it at first. She starts off wanting to see behind his mask (only seeing little bits previously like when he snickered at her comments), purposefully prodding him in London cause she was bored with Izzy gone and he seemed like a fun puzzle to solve -plus it's not like she's not going to get her job back so she's not that bothered if she gets eliminated. She sees the glare he gives her and immediately decides that she needs to see more of what he's really like, further cemented when he basically gloated about getting her booted. Cause if he's that smug then clearly he has something backing it up and despite knowing he had a hand in previous eliminations, she still doesn't know enough about it to say for certain. The first thing she does after getting to the hotel is binge the previous episodes almost religiously. And she notices how flat show Alejandro is compared to confessional Alejandro. Like, he's cunning, ruthless, intelligent, sarcastic, a bit dorky at times and not to mention how much hotter he becomes when he's not putting on an act. Of course she rants about this to Izzy and Eva. Izzy teases her for having a crush on him and Eva calls her a simp. She begins to deny it then stops, thinks it over a couple of moments and immediately stares deadpan at the two of them and just replies with "I'm going to marry that man". Cue team escope shenanigans on how to seduce a guy who might match their crazy

Attractive people have no effect on Neha, all of her family are considered to be far above average attractiveness and they're all unique about it, not carbon copies, so she just considers it normal. Like she sees Justin who everyone is thirsting over and thinks 'ew he's actually kinda ugly' -she's definitely attracted to intelligence. Because of this she's a bit blind to what counts as physically attractive to most people.

Alejandro doesn't originally get along with her brothers, they're a bit too protective of her and just see him as another pretty face so they don't accept him as part of the family. It isn't until they're having an evening with the families and José says something unsavoury and horrible to Neha that causes Alejandro to go completely off it at him do they start to like him. Almost immediately they start calling him little brother and including him in their plans and trips. They mainly bond over bullying José.

Neha's mother is a retired opera singer who basically required all of her children to take singing lessons since they could talk. It's cause of this that Neha knows how to control her vocal chords enough to do vocal impressions of people (which was going to be her talent when she originally signed up to total drama). This also means that she's able to continue to do a more masculine voice throughout the seasons without hurting her vocal chords. Something she's incredibly grateful for (cause as if she's going to use her skills to actually sing on that forsaken show). Her Auntie (on her mother's side) is a fashion designer who makes clothes for the family, she originally started with making Neha's mother's dresses for concerts. She literally cried when Neha showed her what she was wearing on TD.

Part 1

#td noah #female noah #td izzy #td alejandro #tdi #td owen #td katie #td leshawna #td eva #alenoah #td headcanons #td josé

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twyftwyt · 1 year ago

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Warnings: slight smut, anger

Noah Sebastian x fem!reader

Authors note: this is a little something I found in my drafts that I’m debating on continuing (as a one shot tho)

“I thought we talked this through. Stop acting up. Not in public. Not right now.”

And he had a point. He really did. We both hated making a scene in public and we rarely had spats. We knew better than to throw fits and fists at each other, but my vision was so blurry from all the hurt and anger that my brain went blank the moment we stepped out of the restaurant.

We had a small argument before we left the hotel, to grab dinner with everyone else, but we agreed on postponing the conversation for later. For when we’re alone, between the comfort of the four walls of our hotel room. But things didn’t go as planned and escalated pretty quickly when something in me snapped the moment he made a sarcastic comment towards me, at dinner. I bit back, of course, and he didn’t like it. We were both on edge the whole evening. I could see him fidgeting a lot, tapping his knee, looking over at me and I purposefully ignored him. Which steered the pot even more.

“You know better than to act like this. Please, I don’t have the patience to do this tonight.”

That was the last text message that I got from him. At one point I got up and went to the toilet only to come back and sit on the other end of the table. As far away from him as possible. A change he noticed in an instant. I was too far gone to start acting right so I just grabbed my phone from where it was laying on the table and started typing away as fast as I could. My annoyance visible to those around me now.

“So you get a free pass in the asshole department and I don’t?!”

The moment I hit sent and my message displayed as “Seen” my eyes shot up at him. And he was already glaring at me. His eyes were low and darkened. I knew I hit a nerve. And I knew that I knew better than to do that, but I was seeing red at this point. I saw him move in his seat till he got his wallet out and put a 50 dollar bill on the table.

“That should cover our dinner. We’re going back to the hotel, because whatever was in that salad is not doing my stomach any good right now.”

What a decent liar. He got up from the table and motioned at me with his index finger. A lump got stuck in my throat, cause I knew what was coming. I hated fighting with him. Especially in cases where the fight had gotten so stupid that we’ve both already lost sense of reality and the thing we were fighting over.

I excused myself from the table and followed in his footsteps quickly. The air outside was cold and dry and I felt his arm wrap around me. His hot breath tickled my hair when I felt his lips press against my temple.

“You wanna finish that conversation in person?”

He felt hot to the touch and his body was starting to shake. Not from the coldness, I knew I had pressed a sensitive button.

“I don’t wanna fight, Noah.”

My tone was more desperate than I intended it to be.

“Then why do you keep saying silly shit?”

“Because you push me, Noah. I don’t even think you realize how you push my buttons at times and it takes all the strength I have in me to not go back to my old ways and tell you to go fuck yourself. It’s stupid, the shit we’ve been fighting over, these last few days. Have you noticed that?! We’re not fighting over little scenarios and situations, it’s deeper than that. But I’m not ready to talk about it and apparently so aren’t you. And that’s okay. We’ll get to it at some point, but we.can’t.keep.doing.this.”

I blurted out the whole thing in one breath and got dizzy shortly after shutting my mouth. We had picked up the pace and he was gripping my arms so tight that I felt like I could fly off the ground if I lift my feet.

“I think we trigger unhealed parts of our brains, thus we go back to old ways and I hate it. Sometimes I don’t even know what to do with you.”

I didn’t know what to do with him either.

“I don’t want fight over silly little things, cause we’re just gonna get tired of each other at one point. But you’re right. We do trigger each other in a way that I can’t understand neither explain and I don’t know what to do with us.”

I knew we weren’t gonna solve this overnight. So we spent the rest of the walk to the hotel in silence. We got in the elevator and as he was fumbling for his key, I leaned on the wall behind me. His tall frame was hovering over me and I could see his shoulders were tense. We were both worked up from tonight. The moment our elevator announced our floor and the doors opened, he grabbed my hand and lead me to our room. He was always firm but gentle. He was quick in his reactions and he kept his composure at all times. I admired him a lot for that. But he was too calm sometimes. Too composed. Too silent. Too much in his head. I was an anxious over thinker and he was avoidant. And we were trying so hard to give each other the needed space and reassurance, but there were times like this, where our worlds crashed. When all we wanted was to just collide peacefully.

He threw his hoodie on the couch and got out of his shoes as soon as we closed and locked the door behind us. The room was dimly lit by only the nightstand lamps and the orange light illuminated off of his body.

“I’m getting in the shower. Do you need something?”

“From the shower?”

He rolled his eyes at me and I smiled at him.

“I wanna take your tank top off.”

And I didn’t mean it in a sexual way. I just wanted to feel him close, to feel the heat emanating from his body.

“Go on then.”

He lifted his arms in front of me.

“You have to sit on the bed, babe. I can’t reach that high.”

I rolled my eyes at him this time. He stepped backwards a few times until his legs hit the wooden board of the bed and he sank down on the soft cushions. I straddled him and untuck his tank top from his sweats, lifting it slowly from his torso. I felt his hands slide down my waist and my breath stuck in my throat. I removed his tank top and put it on the bed beside us, looking down at him, running my fingers through his hair.

“You’re giving me the eyes.”

His own breaths were coming out short.

“What eyes?”

“The “fuck me” eyes. You’re giving me the “fuck me” eyes.”

“I am not.” A lie.

“Don’t play.”

“Or what?”

I saw him clench his jaw and his hands slid down to my thighs, gripping them hard, pulling me down on him.

“You’ve given me plenty of reasons to not be gentle with you tonight. Don’t give me more, Y/N.”

At this point I was grinding my crotch against his, feeling his erection grow behind the three pieces of fabric separating us. So much for staying mad or talking things through.

“I can handle your worst, Noah.”

We were both still coming down from that fight earlier and I knew what to expect. But then again, I think always know with Noah. I’ve studied and learned his ways so well, that I can tell what he’s thinking about the minute I look at him. It’s crazy to think that we’re here now, looking back at what we started as. Just two shy people brought against our will to a friends party.

I felt his slick fingers unzipping my skirt and lifting it up higher around my waist. The button on my white shirt flew, because apparently he didn’t have the patience to unbutton them one by one and I awed in surprise.

“I need you to be a good girl and get on your knees for me.”

His voice was huskier than ever, his eyes darkened. That was the Noah that took over when he couldn’t handle his emotions at the moment and left them for later. And I gave in, cause I was the same in that sense. So I obeyed and slipped down to my knees in front of him, looking at up with deer eyes. What next, my love? What else are we gonna bury with sex?

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian fic #this was staying in my drafts for far too long #noah sebastian smut

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