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wildlyglittering · 4 years ago

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My Gift to You

I received an anonymous request to write something about Nesta and Rhys’ relationship post ACOSF and them having a conversation. The requestor said that their relationship didn’t feel genuine enough and that they had a lot of work to do before they consider themselves brother/ sister.

I mean.... same anon. Same. The relationship was definitely not one of happy families in my eyes and personally Rhys buying Nesta gifts just felt like the cheapest way to close the lid on their ‘relationship.’

I don’t know if this is what anon wanted but I just can’t write a future where those two truly bond and get along. So this is Nesta and Rhys as I feel would be most appropriate.

***

‘Brother,’ she’d called Rhys. It was not a word which drifted from her lips as easily as it did from Feyre’s when she used the term to refer to Cassian, or for Cassian himself when he spoke of his kin.

Brother.

There had been no time for thinking, not with the screaming and shrieking and the copper tang of blood filling her nose. Rhys was losing his mind and the healer, Madja, was next to useless, pleading with Feyre to fight death - an act as impactful as a raindrop at the bottom of the ocean.

If fighting death were easy, everyone would win.

Nesta knew if you needed to beg for a life, you needed to beg to what could heed you.

The memory of what transpired for Nesta, when she stepped from one form into another, had faded over time like some strange fever dream.

There had been a presence swimming next to her, a shark with a sharp fin and razor teeth, twisting and arching, waiting to tear from her what she had torn out first. But something else was with her, someone else, with a golden light to illuminate Nesta’s way.

Something given and something gained. Those were the thoughts floating in her mind once she’d been present again.

Nesta sought out the opening of Feyre’s eyes, desperately listened for a new-born’s wail and thankfully, she received both.

Afterwards, in the calm, long after she’d embraced Rhys, Nesta wondered what she had meant by that word - brother.

Even as she cradled Nyx’s delicate head in the nook of her arm, stroking the tufts of downy black hair, she didn’t think of him as someone she shared with Rhys. No, despite the hair and sleepy violet eyes, he was someone Nesta shared with Feyre.

Sister. That was a stronger word.

The first infant Nesta ever held was Feyre. She remembered a scrunched up red face peeking behind a blanket as her new baby sister was placed in her arms while a toddler Elain sobbed in the background, upset at not being baby anymore.

I already have one of these.

That was her first thought, her first memory of Feyre.

“Look”, someone had said as Feyre opened her eyes, “they’re the same as yours, Nesta. The very same.”

For a long time, that’s all they had in common. The gift of the same eyes.

Perhaps Nesta had called Rhys brother because in that moment he was. He was her mirror counterpart, not a piece of her heart or soul the way Feyre, Elain and Cassian were but something prominent nonetheless. A shard of glass slicing into each other’s bones that they just couldn’t pull out.

Thank you, he’d said and she wanted to tell him not to say those words. She didn’t do anything requiring praise, she did what she did for the love of her sister and her sister’s child.

Do not thank me for my very nature.

They drifted into an uneasy peace. A gulf remained between Nesta and Elain which Nesta had no energy to remedy, but a bridge had been built between Nesta and Feyre and the connection was one Nesta strengthened as much as possible.

Nesta walked with Feyre around her gardens, joined at dinners and was polite and nodded and minded her manners and, when she had enough, she would return to the House of Wind and let Cassian love her.

As time passed, so did Nesta’s thoughts of Rhys as a brother.

Once again, he became her sister’s mate, her mate’s friend, her nephew’s father. Once again, he became High Lord. Ruler. Overseer.

Months after Nyx’s birth, Rhys and Feyre attended Winter to visit Viviane who had recently birthed her first child - a girl and rumours had followed of secret meetings between the High Lords. Rhys had purchased numerous furs; thick, luxurious pelts in sable, fawn and silver and sent them Nesta’s way.

“I don’t want these things he gives me,” she told Cassian soon after, standing in a room filled with Rhys’ tokens.

“The furs aren’t too bad,” Cassian replied. “They make the floor more comfortable,” he said, his mouth hot on her neck.

She allowed him to distract her but at night while Cassian slept, she walked around the House, grazing objects with her fingertips and glared at the ones which seemed to shimmer too bright, too long. The House itself rippled with unease.

“They’re all junk,” Nesta said to the darkened hallways. “Jewels and silks and throw cushions.”

Feyre and Rhys had told her once, not long ago, how embarrassed they were at the quantity of their money she’d spent on her path towards destruction. Her pulse jumped underneath her skin at the memory.

There had been no love for her life back then, no begging and pleading to a higher power. No, it had been their love for their finances, their concern for their reputation, their lack of control over Nesta which spiralled into entrapment.

Die, she’d heard. Just do so cheaply and in the dark.

Although the word ‘brother’ faded from her mind, Nesta let her animosity go with it. She had the sweetness of her nephew to immerse herself in and she marvelled at the smile on his gummy mouth and the way he wriggled across the floor on his belly towards her, perfect black wings tucked against his body.

One day he would use them to soar the skies and his freedom, his life, was the best gift Nesta had ever received.

His life was the best gift Nesta would ever give.

Nyx was shy of a year old when the whispers started. One day they didn’t exist and the next – they did. They held a metallic quality as though they being spoken through the clang of steel on steel.

High King.

One night, while Cassian rested on the furs, naked and sated, she trailed her fingertips up his knee, up his thigh to where his flesh lay, warm and re-hardening.

“Tell me,” she said, circling a finger around the tip, “what did Rhys speak to Kallias about all those months ago?”

Cassian exhaled a long breath. “Rhys wants Kallias to accept him as ruler.”

“Of the Night Court?”

“No, he – ah, don’t stop – of Prythian.”

“And what was their arrangement? How could Rhys obtain Kallias’ agreement?”

Cassian’s gasps filled her ears. “Through Nyx,” he forced out, “a promise he would marry Kallias’ daughter.”

After that she listened more to what the clanging whispers told her across the breeze, to what the House told her, to what she heard outside closed doors in Rhys’ home on visits to her sister.

Nesta was as serene as the Mother herself when she drifted to Rhys’ study and lingered by the locked door where he and Amren held counsel.

“They are the same as before, inert and useless.”

“Get her to the blacksmith, boy.”

“Her ability is gone.”

“Possibly, but test her to be sure. If she forges a hundred thousand swords then at least one might be Made.”

“She won’t do it.”

“Ban her from seeing the child until she does. She’ll forge then.”

Nesta closed her eyes, clenching her fists until her nails dug into her palms and blood trickled through her knuckles.

For a moment Nesta became a blade, sharp and dangerous, mounted on a wall and viewing Rhys and Amren from a height. The shadows danced from the lit hearth onto Rhys making his face sunken and hollow. For the first time, Rhys looked every inch the ancient creature he was.

Amren walked to the blade that was Ataraxia, that was Nesta, her silver eyes reflected in the shining metal, a palm splayed outwards with the reverence a worshipper showed their god.

“Turns out she wasn’t a pathetic waste of life after all.”

From then on Nesta would listen to what the blades told her.

Rhys took them from their mounts and held them, caressed them as he should his sleeping mate, his violet eyes passing from hilt to blade tip as his pupils grew fat with want.

They spoke to him but they didn’t listen and Rhys struggled with the push and pull every time he lifted a blade from the wall.

He practiced with them in the safety of his study but the blades were too heavy and made him clumsy, leaving the usually graceful High Lord stumbling over his feet. A ripple spread through the metal almost as though the sword were laughing.

We are no advantage to him, the whispers told her and Nesta knew they were infused with the anger she held towards Rhys when she Made them. Now, they said, now he believes himself your brother and he would like a new gift.

Instead that was what she asked him for, next time she was at his home.

“Hello, sister,” and his smile was akin to a wolf’s as it waited in the field for lambs.

“Rhys.”

He agreed vigorously to her request before she even named her price. Maybe Rhys thought he could eventually turn the bee itself into honey.

“I’ve given some thought,” she said, “and I’d like something back. Eris has the dagger but you have two swords remaining in your possession. Keep the small one but Ataraxia, I would like her to be mine. I will never ask anything else from you.”

The smile on his face froze into place as though he’d gone into the depths of Winter and been lost.

Though the blade wasn’t his, he didn’t want it to be hers.

“I don’t think so,” his voice soft. “What if someone tries to take advantage of you and steals the sword away?”

“I’d destroy it first.” However much the thought pained her, Ataraxia’s destruction had been considered - a gift to the other High Lords, one they would never know they’d received.

Rhys shook his head, his eyes dark. “No,” he said, “I need them.” Despite their resistance they were the only Made weapons in his hold.

“Why?”

He said nothing.

Nesta’s lip curled into a sneer. “To be High King, Rhys?”

He glowered at her.

“You know you’re starting a war among incredibly powerful High Lords?”

“I’m the most powerful.”

“There are more of them, they will combine their powers.”

“I have allies.”

“You have enemies.”

“I have friends.”

Nesta sighed and looked to the two swords, the metal glinting as though caught by firelight although the fire was unlit. Her name was murmured, the rasp of metal on metal.

“They’re your friends now but you’re demanding they give up their people, their lands and heritage to you and for what? Why would they do that willingly?”

She turned away from him and stood before the mounted blades. Her reflection was as clear as though they were mirrors, as was Rhys’ behind her, a dark mist forming over his skin.

“This is a war your son will likely reach adulthood in,” she continued, “do you want that for him?”

“I’m doing this for him,” Rhys spat, “you’re no mother, you wouldn’t understand. This is his legacy. My gift to him.”

A calm transcended over Nesta, as though she were wading through the clear waters of a pool, a loving hand on her back reminding her of their presence.

“Your gift to him should be allowing him to live his life. To allow him to care for the people of the Night Court, to give him the chance to fall in love and choose a partner of his own calling.”

“You don’t understand,” Rhys said again, “you had power for mere months and you think you’re the authority of giving it up. It’s a choice you wouldn’t have made if you understood what powerlessness meant.”

Once, when she wore another body, she could count the ribs underneath her skin by tracing them with her fingertips.

Once, in that same body, a man had pressed himself against her, his tongue forced into her mouth.

Once, Fae had ripped away her bedsheet and dragged her from her bed while Elain’s screams echoed in the dark hallway. She had drowned in the depths of the Cauldron, she’d watched her father’s blood spray across the grass, and she’d been dragged from her bed once more to be drugged and bound with her new body useless.

“If you say so.”

Nesta repeated Amren’s actions and traced her finger against the blade, Ataraxia shivered as though Nesta were running a finger down the spine of a lover. The sword moved, almost imperceptibly, but Nesta saw and wondered if Rhys did.

She’d bargained for the lives of his mate and son and yet Rhys wasn’t satisfied. Nesta was his mirror and so he gave her gifts believing she would want them as much as he did, because he continually sought out tokens to keep. He believed she would never be satisfied because he never was.

Nesta left, leaving him with the blades. They would be no benefit for him anyway and it wouldn’t be long before Ataraxia came back to her. Nesta understood now that Ataraxia had been her gift to herself.

All gone now, the Inner Circle assumed. After saving Feyre’s life, Nesta’s gift from the Cauldron is exhausted.

Lies, she thought as she walked the paths of Velaris to head home. All lies. The Cauldron had never gifted Nesta with anything. Everything she held had been stolen, ripped from something that never intended her to have it.

The sky was black, the fae lights of the taverns and restaurants glowing amber against the pitch and the happy chatter of the city revellers emerged from behind doors. All these fae living their lives as best they could, trusting in the protection of their High Lord.

They weren’t the same, her and Rhys, they were mirrored on the surface only.

Yes, they both stole power from those who never intended to gift it but she would die for those she loved while Rhys would kill for them.

The cold air was sharp and drew Nesta’s thoughts from the corners of her mind like a knife drew blood when sliced against skin. She drew her cloak around her shoulders and wrapped her arms around her middle.

There had been screaming and blood and Nesta’s pleas. There had been the dark slithering laughter of something taking something back. But there had also been the warmth of a hand, ethereal and eternal on her back and a golden magic which poured into Nesta until it overflowed.

Daughter.

The Mother had welcomed Nesta and received her gift with open arms, re-gifting to her in return.

Death transmuted into life. Quieter but no less powerful. No less valuable in the future to come.

This is yours, Nesta was told, and will remain so until the end. This is my gift to you.

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maddiwrites · 4 years ago

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Secrets of the Shore (Chapter 3)

Pairing: Pogues x OC, Eventually JJ x OC

Summary: This is just my rewrite of the show Outer Banks with my own twist by adding another main character which also happens to be John B’s twin sister.

Note: I’ll be honest, this isn’t my best chapter, so please don’t judge too harshly I swear it gets better!!! (: Again, forever grateful for all the kind feedback. I truly appreciate it. If you asked to be on the tag list and I accidentally forgot, please let me know!

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Slight insinuation to sexual assault.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 & Chapter 4

Like I said before, I'm good at advertising. Although the cell phone towers are still down, making it harder for me to get the word out about a party in the boneyard, I still know how to get around to the other teenagers on this island.

I sneak in an hour of surfing on the beach, afterwards finding Tourons and even some Kooks. These are the best people to go to when you want word to get around. They're rich and live for gossip. They have the internet and cell phone service, which means they can text their friends and send out tweets. And that is exactly what they do when I'm finished talking to them.

Later, I go with JJ and John B to get the kegs. As they work their magic, somehow securing two, I walk around the lot where most kids who live on the Cut hang out, hoping to score cheap booze from a stranger walking into the beer and beverage store. I use to spend a lot of my weekends here when my dad first disappeared. A small part of me still wants to. It was so easy to forget about my life falling apart when I was too wasted to form a complete sentence.

I tell them about the party and tell them to tell their friends and so on.

As I expect, the empty boneyard fills up quickly. To Kie's dismay, almost every kid has a red solo cup in their hand instead of a reusable one by the time the sun sets. Music and the chants of people playing drinking games fill my ears like a bird chirping on a Sunday morning.

Beer dribbles down my chin and onto my pink v neck crop top. JJ has his arm linked around mine, also chugging his drink, trying to down his before me. However, I beat him by one gulp and slam my cup on the sand as triumph.

"Seriously, Mar?" Kie scolds. She picks up my cup and throws it away.

JJ just smiles at me, maybe even looks at me with some kind of pride. It's hard to beat JJ in any drinking match, but I'm his biggest competition. I usually lose against him, but sometimes I have my nights where I'm undefeated.

He points his finger at me, pretending to be mad without losing the smile on his face. He takes a menacing step forward and bends down to lift me over his shoulder. I squeal in surprise and laugh against his back as he swings me around in circles.

When he sets me down, I shove his shoulders playfully. "Looks like you've finally met your match." JJ just shakes his head. "Get me another beer, loser?"

"You're lucky you're cute." He winks.

You can't understand the Outer Banks without understanding the boneyard. It's kinda like a three-layer burrito. There's us and our friends, working-class derelicts. Then, there are the Kooks, the rich second-homers. They're mostly from pouncy-ass boarding schools, just rich trustfarian posers. Our natural enemies. And then, there are the Tourons. Totally clueless. Here for a week on vacation with their families. Chum for the sharks. They're usually my first pick. A night with no attachments and a more than likely chance I'll never see them again.

I walk past Kie, who's sitting on drift wood talking to someone about zodiac signs and horoscopes. And when I pass Pope, I hear him talking about dead bodies and how TV doesn't portray the biological condition of them accurately. I giggle to myself when I see who he's talking to. A really pretty girl who wasn't expecting to get an anatomy lesson from the boy next to her. I make a mental note to work on Pope's flirting tactics.

As I make my way to the back of the beach, I see Sarah Cameron leaning off a fallen lifeguard stand. Her boyfriend, Topper Thornton, is right there with her, trying to get her to come down. Sarah Cameron's known as the Kook princess. Kiara's best friend in the ninth grade, worst enemy in the tenth grade. None of us know why she started hating her all of a sudden. She doesn't like to talk about it so we don't bring it up. However, John B works on Sarah's dad's boat thanks to me.

My teeth clench together at the sight of both of them. The two of them and their friends are the worst Kooks of all. Bad memories prickle my brain like a million tiny needles and the palms of my hands sweat against my solo cup.

I walk to the back of the beach and lean against a tree that's as close to a palm tree as this island is going to see. I like being back here when the sun goes down. It gives me the perfect view of the party. Watching people laugh and have fun because of a night my friends and I put together makes me feel satisfied. Like I did something to make their day a little more enjoyable.

"Now what's the life of the party doing back here all by herself?" A voice that makes every muscle in my body turn to ice says.

I force myself not to look in his direction. My hands clench tighter around my cup until it bends and beer sloshes on my hand.

"Trying to avoid grimy wandering hands from pompous pricks," I say through clenched teeth. I'm surprised my voice isn't as shaky as I feel. "Go away, Rafe."

Rafe Cameron ignores me and moves to stand in front of me. His blonde hair is slicked back with a gel that's probably more expensive than my entire outfit. He's wearing a salmon pink button up shirt and white shorts. The sight of him makes me sick and I don't know if I want to drink more heavily or throw up and call it a night.

"Oh come on, Marleigh. Let's not pretend like you don't want to finish what we started."

I stand up straighter, feeling bile rise in my throat. "I'd rather rip both of my eyes out with a spoon." My insult wipes his stupid cocky grin off his smug face. At first I take it as a compliment, but the look in his eyes chills me to the bone. "Get out of here, Rafe. I'm not going to tell you again."

Rafe jerks forward and pushes me back into the trunk of the tree. His forearm presses against my chest, right below my collarbone. I try fighting him off but he's surprisingly strong. His eyes swing back and forth with craze, his pupils large and dilated. He's gotta be on something. Cocaine maybe. I've heard rumors.

"You think you can talk to me like that? After what my dad did for your friends?"

"Your dad only helped them in hopes to cover up the mistake that you made," I seethe, trying to push him away again. I try to keep my breathing even and my eyes unblinking. I don't want him to think I'm afraid of him. Even though I'm scared enough to vomit on his two hundred dollar shoes. "I owe you nothing." There's a pause as Rafe considers his next words carefully. So I push even harder. "You know, if you keep bringing it up, people might overhear and start to talk. I don't know if even your dad could buy the entire island's silence."

"You seriously think you can threaten me? You're nothing but a dirty walking piece of trash Pogue. No one will believe the Cut's biggest whore." Rafe shakes his head. "Remember that next time you think about talking to me like that."

His words cut through me like a stab in the chest, but I try not to let him see that. I push against him, keeping my face pinched and my eyes unwavering. "I'm not the same girl I was eight months ago," I say, finally pushing him away from me.

Back then I was a messed up girl who's dad had just left after a big argument that resulted in him thinking she hated him. All I wanted to do was drown myself with drugs and alcohol in hopes to forget about him, even if that meant following Kie to a Kook party when she was trying to roll around in the Kook life. I was easy to manipulate and take advantage of...easy to hurt. But not anymore.

"You think I'm above hitting a girl?" Rafe breathes heavily, his hands clenched to his side. I struck a nerve. One more and he might actually attack me.

"No," I say honestly. "I don't think you're above anything...or anyone. Including me - a dirty walking piece of trash Pogue." I use his words against him.

Rafe jerks forward and raises his hand to hit me and I'm ready for the blow and a fight back, but someone's voice forces us to halt, stopping us like she just pressed paused on a movie screen.

Kie watches us with wide eyes and glances back and forth between us. She looks both scared and angry. Rafe doesn't even bother looking in her direction. He's more disappointed that she got in his way.

I stand up straight again and walk past him, making sure to shove him backwards with my shoulder. Kie wraps her arm around mine and pulls me in close as she guides me away from him. She looks behind us one last time to make sure Rafe isn't following us. When the coast is clear, she stops and turns to look at me with a stone cold expression.

"What the hell was that?" She says, trying to read my face. "Are you okay?"

I can barely hear her behind the screaming in my head. Dirty walking piece of trash Pogue. The Cut's biggest whore. Who would believe you?

"Fine," I shrug, feigning nonchalance. I look back to where I was just standing. Rafe's gone, but the nausea he left me with isn't.

"Marleigh."

"Seriously, Kie. I'm fine. Just some unresolved built up resentment coming out full-fledged. I can't say I'm surprised. Now that summer's started, we're probably going to see a lot more of them."

Kie sighs and looks at me sympathetically. I hate that look. "You should tell the boys."

"What? No way!" I snap.

"What if he -"

"He's not going to." I glare at her.

"Why won't you just -"

"So they can think of me as some pathetic little girl who needs protection from some self-centered Kook? Besides, John B and probably JJ will go after him and the last thing either of them need is charges pressed against them."

The noise of people yelling at one another and some cheering stops Kie from fighting back with me. We turn to look towards the water, seeing a crowd form around two people fighting. Dread creeps up my chest. If I had one hundred dollars, I'd bet it all that one of my friends is the center of attention in that crowd.

Kie and I run to them, pushing ourselves to the front. My breath hitches in my throat when I see who's involved. John B and Topper are fighting ankle deep in the ocean, each one getting a few good punches in.

"John B, stop!" I yell. I don't care who started the fight or why Topper deserves to get beaten to shit. If John B gets caught, the two of us are more than screwed with DCS.

"We're suppose to be incognito, remember?" Pope yells at my brother next to me.

"Babe!" Sarah yells at her boyfriend, jerking back and forth, trying to grab him by the shirt to pull him back. But his movements are scrappy. Sarah would just get hurt.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" The crowd around us cheer like it's a high school wrestling match and not my brother, the one that threw them this party by the way. I can't believe people find this as a source of entertainment. Half of them wouldn't even last a second if they were the one's getting beaten to a pulp.

Topper gets the upper hand and throws John B into the water. I flinch from the pain that must of caused to John B's back.

"Hey, John B, don't make me drown you like your old man, all right?" Topper says.

In that moment my vision turns red and a switch flips in my body. I picture my hands around Topper's neck and him begging for me to let him go - him taking back those words.

When I step into the water to reach him, arms wrap around my waist, stopping me from going forward. I glare at the blonde Pogue and try shoving him away from me but that only makes his grip on me tighten.

"JJ, let me go," I grunt.

"Sorry, pretty girl. Can't do that." His lips are so close that I can feel his breath.

John B tackles Topper to the ground and punches him in the face again.

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"John B, let it go!" Kie screams. "Stop, you guys!"

Topper kicks John B's feet from under him and just like that, JB is back in the water. The Kook kneels next to him and punches my brother across the face before shoving his head into the water.

"Topper stop!" I yell.

"Come on John B!" Pope yells.

Topper lets John B come up for air before dunking him back in. I feel my chest tighten when I realize what Topper is going to do, whether he means to or not.

"JJ, please! He's going to kill him! JJ!" I cry against his hold.

"Come on, Man!" Topper taunts John B, keeping his head under water.

I'm going to kill him, I think. The second JJ lets go, I'm going to rip Topper apart.

"Topper, stop! No!" Sarah cries.

"Pope!" JJ says, swinging me around before pushing me into our other friend's arms. "Hold her."

"What? No!" I fight back but even Pope is stronger than I give him credit for.

JJ disappears to God knows where and I'm left watching like a stranded duck. I feel useless, like I should be doing more to help my brother. Everything I said to Rafe only minutes ago goes straight out the window. Maybe I am weak and still a girl who needs protecting.

Then the world freezes. JJ holds the gun we found in the motel to Topper's head, not only making Topper pause, but the rest of the crowd too. Pope releases his hold on me and I stumble away from him. I only watch the scene unfold in front of me with wide eyes.

"Yeah, you know what that is," JJ says, clicking the safety off the gun. "Your move, broski."

"Come on!" Pope yells. "Chill dude!"

"Stop! JJ!" Sarah cries. "Put the gun down!"

"Did you say something princess?" JJ turns towards Sarah and points his gun at the sky.

"We're good. We're good." Topper stumbles away from my brother to stand in front of his girlfriend.

The second he backs away, I'm in the water helping John B. I pull his upper back into my lap and push his hair out of his face. He coughs up a couple gulps of water before relaxing against me.

"Kie! Can you check your psycho friend, please!" Sarah yells.

"Okay, everyone, listen up!" JJ addresses everyone else who still watch in fear. "Get the hell off our side of the island!" He fires two bullets into the sky, causing people to shriek and cry around me.

"Are you crazy?" Kie yells at him. "Why do that?"

"I'm saving his life, okay?" JJ yells back at her.

When people begin dispersing, Pope runs into the water to help me lift John B back to shore. He's in a daze and barely able to stand on his own.

The four of them help me drag him back to the Chateau, the party long forgotten. Kie covers John B with blankets and places a glass of water on the nightstand for when he wakes up. I don't say anything as the night wraps up. I'm not mad at JJ like Pope and Kie. He did what he had to do to save John B. Topper could have killed him and the police would probably chop it up as an accident and I would be left with no family.

"You guys should go," I say.

I just want to be alone. Between Rafe and Topper, all I can think about is sleep so I can wake up to a new day. Start over and try again.

"Are you sure?" JJ asks, looking between my eyes to find any sign for him to stay.

As much as I want JJ to stay the night and let me cuddle into him like the night before, it's best if I'm alone. So I reluctantly nod.

"You can stay at mine tonight, JJ," Pope offers.

I offer a weak smile before turning around to lock myself in my room. When I hear the door to the Chateau close one last time for the night, I sigh deeply and stare up at my ceiling. I'm restless, anxious, sweaty. As much as I want sleep, sleep doesn't want me. I toss and turn hoping for a wave of darkness to hit me but it never does.

I glance at my clock. 3:04 AM. I roll my eyes and groan to myself, pushing myself up against my bed's headboard. I tip toe out of the Chateau and make my way down to the dock. I dip my toes in the water and lay back against the wooden slacks. The moon's half crescent illuminates the water, dark with a mystery glint. It's cold against the night, feeling refreshing against my skin.

Even my mind isn't tired. My head wanders with different thoughts. Rafe, Topper, Scooter, the gun...my dad. His words echo through my ears like a skipping record. The night before he disappeared he told John B and I that he might have to vanish for a bit. This only caused a major fight to brew between my father and I whereas John B only nodded and said okay. I think this is why John B still holds on to hope that he's alive somewhere.

John B was always the loyal one to my father. Although they fought almost as much as my dad and I, they were quick to move on and pretend like it wouldn't happen again. Even though it always did. He tried to help my dad keep me on track with school, friends, and other activities. Most of the time, he just joined in on my antics. Sometimes I regret not giving my dad enough credit. He was a single father to Pogue twins with the distraction of his own obsession. My last words to him haunt me every day I pass his office.

"I hate you!" I screamed. I didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing my tears. I wanted him to know I was strong and that I didn't need him. I think my main intention was to hurt him like he hurt me, but I would do anything to take it back.

~ ~ ~

I wake up to the low rumble of an engine and the crunch of gravel underneath some tires. I blink away the sleep in my eyes, looking out into the marsh. The sun is above me, warming the entire island with it's summer heat so early in the morning.

My back aches as I sit myself up. I twist to find the noise that woke me up.

"Shit," I curse when I see the cop car parked in front of the Chateau.

Sheriff Peterkin sees me walking up my yard and waits for me to approach her before barging into my house. I squint against the morning light. Even though I'm not in the mood for a pop in, I actually like Peterkin. She's the only one I trust to do her job right.

"I hope you brought some coffee," I say before opening the door for her.

"This will be quick," She says. I watch her eyes scan my kitchen and living room judgmentally. "Where's your brother?"

I point to his room. Peterkin gives me a look to go first. I sigh, knocking twice on the door before letting myself in. John B is still passed out. Half of his body hangs off the bed. His left eye is officially black and blue, a mark I know Peterkin won't subtly ignore. It's the first thing she sees and gives me a sideways glance. I cross my arms and look away.

John B blinks up at us when he hears our footsteps. His brows furrow in confusion, sleep still fogging his head.

"Get decent, sweetie," Peterkin says. "We need to talk."

As we wait for JB to get dressed, I sit on the pull out couch in my living room, fumbling with my thumbs until he appears, dressed in an open button up and swim trunks. He glances between Peterkin and I for some answers but neither of us give him any.

"Sorry to break in like this," She says, pacing the floor. John B stands next to me with his arms crossed. "But DCS called. They wanted me to check on you. See how you two are doing." Neither of us answer. "So, how are you, besides -" She points to JB's shiner and I hold myself back from rolling my eyes. So far so good!

"Oh, no, I'm - I'm great," John B says, shrugging like our life is just full of rainbows and butterflies. "Yeah, fantastic. Uh... thanks for coming by."

Peterkin just smirks. "I'm so glad to hear you say that, John B, but I heard a few things that worried me. Let me see if I can remember. Oh yeah. One of the things I heard was that your Uncle Teddy, your guardian, hasn't been in the state for three months."

"Yes he has -"

Peterkin cuts me off. "You don't have to say anything. I know it's true. I called the school. They said you used to be a good student," She says, looking at John B. Then she looks at me. "You not so much. But John they say now you're failing all your classes."

"No. No, I'm only failing one and it's history. He's a dick. He's out for me - "

"I heard," Peterkin continues, not giving a damn about John B's bullshit excuses, "there was a fight on the beach yesterday, and a gun was involved."

My eyes snap up to look directly at Peterkin. I feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. What else was she going to ask? Would JJ get in trouble? Are we going to jail?

"Okay, gun?" John B plays dumb. "No. Did I get in a dustup? Yeah, but was there a gun? No. No way," He scoffs.

"That's okay I know who it was. I'll get to him. All I'm worried about right now is making sure you're in a safe home."

"Yeah," I say. "Super safe."

John B knocks the table next to him. "Super sound, sturdy. You know?"

"Uncle T's coming so..." I say to get John B to stop talking. He's a lot of things but a good liar isn't one of them.

"That's what he told you?" Peterkin looks at me with a raised brow.

"Yeah."

"If he is coming," Peterkin picks up a cigarette and sniffs it. "I think you should be allowed to stay."

"Thank you."

"But if I stick my neck out for you, you have to help me. Tit for tat."

John B tilts his head in confusion. "What - what does tat mean?"

I squeeze my eyes shut and let my head fall back. I swear I'm going to buy duct tape to keep this boy's mouth shut.

Peterkin ignores him. "Let me see, how can you help me? Oh, I know. So, a body was found in the marsh yesterday. Were you in the marsh yesterday?"

"Yeah," I decide to answer. "We were fishing for some drum."

"You catch anything?"

"Nah, we were skunked."

"Strange," She says, not believing me. "Fishing's usually good after a storm. All sorts of things get stirred up. You come across a wreck yesterday?"

"No." My heart falls deeper, but I try to keep a straight face.

This makes Peterkin sigh and she glances between the two of us. "You two are skimmin' just above the surface. Now, down here is foster care, juvie," She says, dropping her hand to about knee length. "Pretty big drop for smart kids like the both of you." She moves her hand to eye level. "Up here is you and your little friends doing whatever you want. Outer Banks...or foster care on the mainland." I let her threat swim in my brain. "You one inch above the surface, Routledge. If I was you, I'd start flapping my wings." She looks at us one last time, no longer wanting to play games. "Now, you sure you didn't come across a wreck yesterday?" She looks at John B who's more likely to blab than me.

I look up at my brother, warning him that he needs to lie.

He shrugs his shoulder, the lie sliding across his tongue like silk. "Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure."

Peterkin looks between John B and I and nods slowly. "It's better if you didn't, you understand? I'm gonna look the other way as long as you stay out of the marsh." She runs her finger along the wooden kitchen table and rubs the dust between her fingers. "I got dogs living better than this. You might wanna think about cleaning' up."

Peterkin lets herself out without saying goodbye. John B and I don't say anything until her car pulls out of the driveway and only then do we just share a look that says how screwed we both are.

Tag List: @notyourcupofteax @acvross-the-universe @jjmaybankzz @jeeperky @realistic-breadstick @moniamaybank @urbinoutfiters @brebear121

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p-artsypants · 4 years ago

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I’ll Handle This (9)

In Which Plagg cuts the Umbilical Cord

Howdy folks! Thanks for the patience! I like to pretend I’m regular with uploads, but we all know that’s not true. And for a little while, it’s going to be worse. I had a gallbladder attack this week, and I have to wait about a month to get it out. In the meantime, I get sick pretty easily from most foods. So I’ve kind of put writing on the backburner.

Oh, I’m also planning a wedding!

Thanks for understanding and not sending demands for updates!

FF.net | Ao3

—

Adrien was feeling pretty darn good, all things considered.

Ladybug, or Marinette rather, had been so adamant for so long that no one could know their identities. It was a mantra he stuck to, though he desperately wished to know her outside the mask.

With Nino in on the secret, it felt more liberating than he expected. All night, he told Nino stories of his terrible excuses and narrow misses of getting caught.

“I don’t know how I didn’t catch it sooner.” Nino had said, hindsight being 20/20 and all that.

And Adrien admitted that he felt dumb for not realizing Nino was Carapace sooner. So Nino’s guilt was lessened a bit by that.

While the boys talked, Plagg stayed rather neutral. He didn’t divulge any more of his plans or prepare them for what was to come.

Because he couldn’t. Plagg was preparing for several different outcomes, all hindered on many overlapping factors. He just had to hope for the best for now and not stress Adrien out.

The kid deserved to enjoy his first sleepover.

—

Being an ancient being, Plagg’s passive perception was relatively high. He noticed things and had an awareness that surpassed most other entities on the planet.

Though, he rarely acted on anything he noticed, since he could phase out of most danger. It mostly kept him from being seen by people who weren’t supposed to see him.

However, alarm bells were currently going off like crazy inside his—or Adrien’s—head.

Lila was hovering just a bit too closely for comfort.

Though she was usually the main attraction in a conversation, she wasn’t very good at spying. She hovered, just at the edge of the circle, throwing out plenty of ‘oh, don’t mind me’s, but keeping her eye trained on him. She even followed them when they went out for lunch. Far enough away that no one would notice, mind you, but there none the less.

Lila was not Gabriel’s muse. She was his stooge. His little puppet. His meat camera.

As long as Lila was around, Gabriel was aware of every action he took. Who knew what kind of bull shittery she’d pull if he did something remotely different.

But what exactly was she watching for? Just reporting his change in behavior?

Had Gabriel suspected too much?

It was high time Plagg put the next phase of his plan into action.

But first, he needed to throw Lila off the trail.

It was after class, and everyone was packing their stuff up and discussing how the weekend had gone.

This seemed like the perfect opportunity.

“Hey guys! I taught Lila how to play Magic at the last photoshoot! Anyone want to play with her?”

The words were like fresh blood in a tank of sharks. Lila was grabbed and sat down at a desk, as she tried to come up with an excuse to leave.

“Oh, I’d uhh...I’d love to play. But my mom has a doctor appointment after school and she wanted me home...”

“Oh Lila, it’s okay,” said Plagg. “Don’t feel bad about skipping our study session. This is your chance to really bond with the boys in our class!”

Lila just sent him a tight lipped smile.

“Okay, Kim, let Lila use your deck.”

“What? No! ‘Soul Sisters’ is perfectly crafted and only an expert can really unlock its true potential.”

Alix swiped the deck from his hand. “Yeah, you build a deck with all the tig-bitty angel wifus. It’s great. Take a break, horn dog.” She slammed the deck down in front of a traumatized Lila.

Max was her partner. “Don’t worry, we’ll go slow and I’ll explain everything as we go along.”

Plagg smiled to himself, watching as the boys, and even some girls, crowded around to watch.

He then caught Marinette’s eye and gestured out to the hall. There was no way Lila could stealthily maneuver her way over to him without drawing the attention of all their classmates.

In the hall, Plagg took Marinette’s hand and led her away, into a secluded corner of the upper floor. Hopefully, Lila wouldn’t spot them if she tried to do something rash.

“Is everything okay, Adrien?” Marinette asked, her face tinged pink.

“Not...not completely. Lila was following and eavesdropping on me all day.”

Marinette gasped, covering her mouth. “That’s sick!”

“Yes, I agree. I’m not quite sure what she was looking for, but I’m fairly certain she’s spying for my father.”

Marinette squeezed his arm. “I’m so sorry, Adrien. If I knew how to help...”

“I should be the one apologizing.” He said, genuine sadness in his voice. He had hoped solving Adrien’s problems would have helped Marinette out, but he worried it would be the opposite.

“What do you have to apologize for?”

He took her hands, holding them delicately in his own. “I told you that I made a deal with her to get you back into school. But…”

She whispered. “Adrien...”

He touched her face, ever so gently, laying the charm on thick. “Marinette, I care about you so much, and if I could avoid this I would, but...”

“But what?”

“Lila’s made it clear that she’s taking this feud I’m having with my father personally. She’s going to take whatever chance she can get to go back on our agreement. She’s going to go after you again.” He shook his head, conjuring tears into his eyes. “I can’t bear to see you hurt by her!”

“Oh Adrien!” She gasped, before throwing her arms around him. “Please don’t cry. I can handle her, honest.”

“I have a plan in motion,” he clarified, squeezing her. “She won’t get away with her lies and harassment for much longer. I just need you to be strong.”

“Whatever you need, just let me know. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I know. Thank you, Marinette. Now, I have to go before Lila escapes my trap.”

Her smile was genuine and full of gratitude. “I’ll see you tomorrow then! Bye!”

Eager to take what head way he could get, Plagg pressed a kiss to Marinette’s cheek before hurrying away.

He missed her squealing and dancing after he turned his back.

—

“I really dislike that sausage-haired cretin.” Plagg muttered as he walked home. “It’s one thing to lie to get attention, but for her to spy on us all day? Talk about creepy!”

“Thank you for warning Marinette,” Adrien said as he floated by his shoulder. “I agree that Lila is looking for any opportunity to go back to bullying her. I think with the warning, she’ll be able to come up with some way to protect herself.”

“Nothing against your lady’s ability to find solutions, since that is her job as Ladybug, but I don’t know what kind of back up plan she can have against a compulsive liar. Why is every adult in Paris so gullible?”

“I have a theory,” Adrien suggested. “They aren’t gullible. They just see a pretty young girl crying and they just go along with whatever she says to make it stop. They just assume she’s exaggerating or something.”

“Good observation,” Plagg commended. “I agree.”

“But I think we should put off worrying about Lila for a bit and focus on my father. He hasn’t seen you since Friday morning when you serenaded him. I can’t imagine he’s going to be happy to see you.”

“Adrien, we’ve been over this. I can handle a grown ass adult throwing a temper tantrum. There’s only two things he hasn’t tried yet, and they’re both pretty extreme. I don’t know if he has it in him. I called his bluff before, anyways.”

“What two things?”

“Having me arrested...or getting violent. I dared him to hit me and he swore he never would. I just can’t imagine he was telling the truth.”

“Are you trying to drive him to it?”

“I’m trying to drive him to a place of ‘I give up, what do you want’? Hopefully we can talk, and he’ll come to see you aren’t a child anymore. As much as I think your dear old dad is capable of being a butt head, I think he’s also capable of understanding. He is a successful businessman after all. Business doesn’t come without a little mercy.”

“That’s a...way to look at it...”

At that point, they reached the mansion, and Adrien returned to the pocket.

Plagg decided not to ring the doorbell, and instead climbed the wall.

He strolled very nonchalantly up to the front door, and entered, slamming the door shut behind him.

Then he waited three seconds.

“1...2...”

“Adrien!” Gabriel rushed out of his office. “I didn’t expect you home already.”

“Because Lila didn’t text you with my location?”

Gabriel just stared, slightly wide-eyed and pale.

Caught red handed.

“She is spying on me for you, right? This isn’t just her stalking me on her own. She’s not smart enough for that.”

“I—“

“So what? You don’t know how to communicate with me so you go to the only person in my class that I not only dislike, but has a record of compulsive lying? Seriously? You thought that was your best option?”

“You do not get to lecture me about my choices!” Gabriel barked.

But Plagg just shook his head. “You make no sense to me.”

“My decisions and actions don’t have to make sense to you. You are my child, and you will obey me! Do you understand?”

Plagg just gave him a patient smile. Arguing with him never went anywhere, because Gabriel always turned his ears off the second Adrien said something he didn’t want to hear.

Which was anything that wasn’t “yes sir.”

“I understand what you want. But I can’t give it to you. You haven’t listened to what I’ve said. You’re so caught up in injustice, that you haven’t seen how your yelling has affected me. I’m just pulling farther and farther away. Do you want to lose me for good? Is that what you want? Because that’s the road you’re heading down. I’m 15 now. Three years of this, and I could easily move away and never speak to you again after how badly you’ve treated me.”

“I do not treat you badly! Have you ever gone without food? Without a soft bed? Without clothes or showers? No! You have it better than most people in this city.”

“You’re right, I should be without want or need. But you’ve severely neglected my heart. Gabriel, I’m lonely, and sad. I’m disappointed every time you break a promise. I can go anywhere and have food and shelter and whatever, but only you can give me the love of my father.”

Gabriel was silent at this, staring at his son, his lips in a firm line.

“So I’m going to go. I’m staying with some friends for a while. Just to give you a taste of what it’s like without me. If you like it, then, when I’m 18, I’ll leave, and never come back.”

Gabriel looked to the ground, but found himself unable to say anything. Plagg ascended the stairs, and went into Adrien’s room.

“I don’t want to leave…” Adrien said, quietly. “I’d rather stay and…”

“And do nothing?”

Adrien looked away.

“Look,” said Plagg, directing his chin up. “Your father is a hard nut to crack. We just have to push harder and harder. Do you still trust me?”

“What choice do I have?”

“It’s going to be okay, kid.” He rubbed his thumb over his whiskers. “I promise.”

He packed up his duffel that he had taken for his sleepover, and came back down the stairs.

Gabriel was right where he left him. “So, you’re going? Just like that?”

“At this point, I think it’s for the best. Just for a little while. Give us both some perspective.”

“You’ll regret it,” he warned.

“Maybe. But what’s there to learn from if I don’t make mistakes?”

Gabriel didn’t stop him as he walked out the door.

After he left, Nathalie emerged from the office. “Your son is surprisingly mature for his age.”

“No, he’s stubborn. Just like his mother. I give him three days before he comes crawling back.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“Then I’ll make him come back.”

—

Chat Noir bounded over rooftops at sunset. He had a destination in mind, and getting spotted by Lila or one of Gabriel’s other goons would ruin it all.

After traveling in circles, he finally reached the Lahiffe house and stopped on the fire escape outside Nino’s room.

Nino looked up at the sound. “Oh dude!”

“Nino Lahiffe, the time has come.” Said Plagg in his ancient voice. “This is the Miraculous of the Dude.” He opened his hand to show a single Hersey’s kiss. “You will use it for the greater bro-kind, and let me crash here for the foreseeable future, as I have run away from home.”

“Dude...” Nino took it reverently. “I will fulfill my sacred oath...but you should probably come in through the front door, and we should kind of explain this to my mom, or she’s going to wonder how you got in the house.”

“True. Meet you downstairs in five!”

—

Marinette laid in her bed, eyes trained to the sky through the sky-light, hands clutching a pillow tightly to her chest.

She sighed.

The sound made Tikki roll her eyes. She knew Plagg was hamming it up, but did he have to be so…charming?!

“Tikki…” Marinette announced, after mooning for over an hour. “I think…I think I can tell him tomorrow.”

The words were music to her ears! Finally! “You can do it Marinette!”

Then a shadow passed Marinette’s face as the worst past through her mind. “But what if he hasn’t been earnest? What if the way he’s been acting has just been to get back at his father or Lila?”

Tikki almost groaned. “Marinette, Adrien loves you. He really really loves you! The way he pulled you aside today and warned you about what was going to happen with Lila? He didn’t do that for anyone but you. That was real care! The longer you beat around the bush, the more you’re putting off your own happiness. And you don’t want that, do you?”

Marinette sat up, resolve hardening. “Tomorrow then. I’ll tell him tomorrow, and get my happily ever after.”

#ml #miraculous ladybug #adrien and plagg #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrienette #fanfiction #I'll handle this

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hallowed-be-thy-username · 4 years ago

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Hi! Can i just say that i absolutely love your writing and your vibe as a whole? 🥺💞 If i may, I’d like to request a fic where the reader is a very well known socialite, but she gets very bored of her life and wants something different. She suddenly meets J in some sort of situation and becomes infatuated with him & his lifestyle. You must be busy with other requests & your personal life, so if anything, i just want you to know that i love your writing! 💘

Sweet anon!!! AKADJSBAJSND 😭💖 I’m SO sorry this has taken me so long to get to and I hope you see it!! This was a really fun one and I had a great time writing it so I really hope you like it 💕

Self-insert, Ledger Joker x fem reader, first time meeting Joker

Word count: 1,954

Warnings: tension, light violence

Something Different

Another boring party with boring people in a boring place. How many more of these must you endure?

Ah the fabulous life of the daughter of Dr. Thomas Elliot, famous Gotham City surgeon and longtime family friend of the Wayne family. Being born to one of Gotham’s founding families, she lives a life of luxury. Chauffeurs, butlers, ritzy charity events, fashion shows, brand promos, intense boredom. You were certainly grateful for the fact that finances were never something you had to worry about, but at the same time, money imprisoned you. It controlled your every move like a puppet master. Stand like this, wear that, speak this way, don’t forget to smile. And don’t even think about having your own dreams. You had access to all of the means in the world to do whatever you want, right? Wrong. If it’ll tarnish the family reputation on any way, its not gonna happen. Ever. And you’d be surprised at what they consider “tarnishing.” Learning to drive, going to school, coloring your hair, going on dates, having a job, getting ice cream with friends. What friends? You never got to experience these things. Things that were normal. Now you were in your late twenties and the life of the average young adult was completely foreign to you. Its been ten years now. Since you started to hate this life.

You were attending yet another fundraiser at Bruce’s place. What was it for this time? Friends of the Gotham Railway? Society for the Performing Arts? Gotham Heights Country Club’s new golf course? District Attorney Harvey Dent. Didn’t he just get elected? Okay then. It really doesn’t matter anyway. They’re all the same. Gourmet hors d’oeuvres, expensive champagne, some phony inspirational speech, bland conversation, smile through how much your feet hurt in these heels, send a check tomorrow. The predictability you lived your life by was astonishing. When were you finally going to get to do something different?

You lifted another glass of champagne from the tray drifting past you and took a heavy sip. Can’t get to drunk though, what would the media say? You were tempted to do it on purpose, just to mix things up for once. The sound of rough whirring broke you out of your melancholic trance and you turned to see a helicopter landing on the roof top balcony outside. The man himself arriving ever so fashionably late. Linking arms with three women you could only assume to be models, how classy. And here comes the motivational speech. I believe in Harvey Dent, a safer Gotham, optimism, face of our bright future, blah blah blah. Now everybody claps. Just wonderful. Back to our mindless mingling.

The evening continued on like they all do. This time you were stuck trying not to stare at the speck of food stuck in Mr. Kane’s teeth while he droned on about the new hotel, they planned to open it across from the opera house. Would it be uncouth to express to him how little you care about any of that? When you were seconds away from excusing yourself for a bogus trip to the ladies’ room, a loud boom rang out from the entryway. You spun around and your body froze at the sound of his voice.

“Goood evening, ladies and gentle-men.”

It felt like ice was running through your veins when you saw him. Purple suit, shotgun over his shoulder, unkempt green hair, painted face. His face. Covered in white with black swallowing his eyes, bright red over his mouth and crawling up his cheeks in a wicked grin. On the news they called him The Joker.

“We are… tonight’s entertainment! I only have one question… Where. Is. Har-vey Dent?”

He was so tall, walking with a slight slouch but had an air of confidence like you’d never seen. Like he knew just how much attention his presence attracted. No, attention it demanded. Like he knew you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. He made it look effortless. Almost like he was bored by it. He tossed food into his mouth, chewing noisily while he spoke. Then he stopped and turned to walk toward the crowd, pointing his shotgun toward the people in front of him before moving on down the line. Your feet grew cold when you realized he was heading in your direction. He tossed champagne out of a glass before mockingly tossing his head back to let the last drop hit his tongue. You couldn’t move a muscle as he leaned in and muttered questions at the people standing nearby. He kept coming. Your heart pounded, climbing into your throat as he got closer.

Then you could see it. It was scars. The red smile stretching across his face, it was painted over scars. Someone had cut through the corners of his mouth on both sides, leaving behind a twisted, permanent, grin. It made your stomach drop. He said something to Mr. Kane, but you couldn’t hear it, only the blood rushing in your ears. He got so close. You swore you could feel the heat from his body, smell something sharp like acetone.

“You remind me of my father.”

Then he suddenly grabbed Mr. Kane by his collar and growled, “I hated my father.”

“Ok, stop.”

Mr. Kane was shoved into you while Joker turned to face the voice coming from behind him. Rachel Dawes, Bruce’s friend for as long as you could remember.

“Well, hello, beautiful. You must be Harvey’s squeeze-ah. Hm?... and you are beautiful.”

He circled her like a wild dog stalking prey, practically licking his chops. Relishing the feeling of cornering his victim. Waving a knife blade at her.

“You look nervous. Is it the scars?... Wanna know how I got ‘em?”

Then he reached forward and gripped her by the back of her neck and her face. You felt your cheeks abruptly grow warmer. He pulled her closer to him, holding her there, not letting her look away. A thought suddenly cut through you mind like the knife in his hand. You wondered if the leather of his gloves felt warm or cool on her skin. Your heart fluttered and a shiver ran down your back. Why were you thinking about that? He intruded without warning and started threatening people, but here you were wanting to know what it was like to be that close to him. You found yourself wishing you were her, just to know what it was like, him touching you.

You hung on to his every word. He had a wife once, who told him he worried to much, that he should smile more, she gambled, got in deep with the sharks. They carved her face, had no money for surgery, she couldn’t take it, he just wanted to see her smile again, he didn’t care about the scars, he stuck a razor in his mouth and did that to himself. He… he did that to himself?

“And you know what? She can’t stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side... Now I’m always smiling.”

You blinked and the next thing you knew, punches were being thrown and men in clown masks were falling to the floor. Batman. The masked vigilante everyone was talking about. He seemed to appear out of nowhere, coming out of the shadows to beat up the bad guys. Reality struck you in that moment. This was real. This was happening. The word surreal doesn’t quite cover it. You wanted something different. Well, this was different. Instead of fear you started to feel something else rising up from inside of you, tingling up your back. Excitement.

A punch from a clown masked man landed square on Batman’s jaw, sending him to his knee and giving Joker the opportunity to start kicking him in the stomach. All you could do was watch, spellbound by the violence occurring before your eyes, wide with anticipation. It almost happened too fast for you to see. He really had nothing holding him back. He couldn’t care less about what people thought of him. Showing up in face paint and a purple suit with a posse of men disguised as scary clowns, commanding even more attention than Bruce. He basked in it, not caring one bit what they thought, only that he left an impression. He did. Especially on you.

You blinked again and he had Rachel. He stood behind her, his arm wrapped around her chest to keep her from running, his other hand waving a handgun in the air. He wasn’t going to drop the gun, not unless Batman took his mask off, show us all who he really was. Then the window behind him shattered with a shot from the gun and he dangled Rachel by her arm out into the open air. Your chest felt tight, as helpless as everyone else watching and unable to do anything about it. But you still couldn’t shake the thrill you felt buzzing in your arms and legs, fogging your mind.

“Let her go,” Batman’s hoarse voice demanded.

Joker squinted his eyes and grinned with ironic amusement as he answered, “Very poor choice of words.”

He let go. His laugh reached down to your bones and held on, pulling you toward him while Batman dove out the window after Rachel. You didn’t know what you were doing but you couldn’t stop yourself. Your feet kept carrying you closer. People all around you started rushing for the exit, running from the taunting men in clown masks like the crowd at a Halloween fun house. Except this was real.

You kept your eyes forward, getting within a few feet of him when he turned and saw you. A chill washed over you, both icy cold and burning hot at the same time when his eyes traveled up and down your body where you stopped in your tracks. Your skin felt like it was on fire.

“Hello, there,” he purred.

You opened your mouth to speak but no sound came out. You just stared at him. Then he started to saunter toward you, slowly closing the gap that separated you, and you almost couldn’t breathe.

The corner of his mouth twitched into a sideways grin. “Aren’t you a pretty little flower, hm?”

Your heart fluttered and your lungs pulled in a sudden gasp of air, that sharp smell filling up your senses. He was right in front of you now. He was right in front of you and you could undeniably feel the heat radiating off of him. Your heart pumped faster, the adrenaline in your veins saturating every tissue. That tingling in your spine came rushing back as his tongue flashed out of his mouth to run along his lip.

“Can I, uh, help you with something, little flower?”

The last sounds of panicked voices faded, and it was completely silent. You were alone. With him. Fear tried to wrestle for a place in the front of your mind, to pull you away, to make you run back toward the door, but the allure you felt was too pervading. You remained still, trying to steady your breath while the gaze from his black-rimmed eyes seemed to swallow you up. Sirens started to echo in the distance.

Then your voice found its way out of your mouth, “I… I just wanted to… um, to get closer.”

His eyebrows shot up and his grin widened as a low hum rumbled in his chest. Your brittle nerves nearly shattered when he lifted his hand and gently took hold of your chin, lifting it and stepping forward to press his chest against yours. “Mmm, this close enough?”

His gloves, they felt cool on your skin.

Taglist!

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#ledger joker fic #ledger joker x reader #joker x you #Heath Ledger Joker #the dark knight #tdk joker #joker fanfiction #one shot #anon request

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bisluthq · 4 years ago

Text

SS Tily does not lay claim to Lover; a thesis

I thought this would take me longer but y’all, I’m done with Part 2 of my Gaylor analyses. Unfortunately this chapter brings bad news for Tily nation. I honestly don’t think many of the songs on Lover are about that relationship. But I also think it’s not as simple as the mainstream Kaylor narrative would have us believe. Let’s dive into this, shall we?

First things first. I think it’s worth noting that many of the songs on this album are not about romantic relationships at all. Like it’s a bit of a marketing ploy to portray it as an album primarily about romantic love when so many songs explicitly aren’t about that feeling. In fact, there are more themes on Lover than on any of her earlier stuff - it’s something she expands on in folklore.

I Forgot That You Existed, The Man, The Archer (which I firmly believe is about her debating coming out), Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince (very obviously about the political situation generally and supported by the doccie title), London Boy, Soon You’ll Get Better, YNTCD, and ME! are all about explicitly different themes. Obviously there are a couple references within those (like ME! has that line about “I never leave well enough alone” which reappears on the 1, and The Archer mentions someone “staying” but I still think ME! is about self-love not romantic love and The Archer is about personal anxiety around identity). Fundamentally, they are not love songs.

I don’t think that’s really up for debate. The only one I can see anyone - say Toes or like hardcore Tily fans - debating is London Boy. Unfortunately for my Tily babes, I do think it’s satire that serves as a homage to Joe and the other British beards, and possibly riffs a teeny bit on her time with Lily. Contrary to some gold medalists in Kaylor mental gymnastics, I fully believe Tay does make reference to Joe in her lyrics (I’ve mentioned the fictional verse for Dress and the reference to “keeping him” in Ready for It). This really doesn’t have any of the hallmarks of Tily songs off of Rep. The British references in CIWYW, KOMH and Delicate are subtle and chilled and actually quite cute. London Boy is an onslaught of non-sequiturs about London, the UK and her beards. Also “stories from uni” fits both Joe and Tom H, but it doesn’t fit Lily who never went to university. All her Lily songs are about hiding out in private; London Boy is all about galavanting around town with “his” friends (Lily and Tay had the same friends though?) It’s simply not about the same person or the same relationship.

I do think there’s a chance it could be poking fun (lightly) at Lily/that period she spent in London because as I’ve already said I think Tay is not above shading ex-girlfriends and it seems like the kind of thing Karlie would’ve also found a bit funny. I think when she got back together with Karlie - which almost definitely happened - she would’ve 100% laughed about the “say you fancy me not fancy stuff” era. That would explain the recurrence of both Motown and queen imagery, which first appeared on KOMH. But where KOMH felt very genuine and authentic, this one is obviously meant to be funny.

Right. So. Now that we’ve established 8 songs are about other themes, let’s get the Kaylor songs sorted: Cruel Summer, Cornelia Street, DBATC, False God and Daylight are all undeniably about Karlie fucking Kloss. They all feature the images and tropes and hallmarks that pepper Karlie songs. They all have the same kinds of emotions. And they paint a pretty sad, troubling and complex picture.

Cruel Summer comes first and seems to mostly be about their first breakup, which she first referred to on DWOHT. We have Tay once again begging Karlie to stay and work it out and not being certain for sure about her feelings.

We say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times

We're not trying (Oh yeah, you're right, I want it)

I mean that’s super sad. Tay’s saying they discussed how they’ll fuck it all up, and she’s feeling like they’re not even trying to fix things. You also have that “I want it” which is interesting considering the “we” that preceded it. “We’re” not trying because only “I want it”. Ouch.

Killing me slow, out the window

I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

What doesn't kill me makes me want you more

And it's new, the shape of your body

It's blue, the feeling I've got

And it's ooh, whoa oh

It's a cruel summer

It's cool, that's what I tell 'em

No rules in breakable heaven

But ooh, whoa oh

It's a cruel summer

With you

Here we have “I’m always waiting for you” which yet again suggests Tay is the one who’s more invested. Then we have the shape of “your” body (which is a familiar concept from Dress), but the feeling it gives her here is blue here not gold - maybe that’s why the shape is new? In the past Karlie’s body made her feel golden but now it’s a bluer, sadder feeling. Blue starts recurring more frequently on these late era Kaylor songs. There’s a possible alternate reading, which is blue = Swiftgron (“my love had been frozen deep blue”). It’s a nice theory but it just doesn’t gel with the garden gate below. Also, while both relationships seem to have been colored by commitment issues, the premise of unrequitedness doesn’t really feature on the songs about Di. She asks Di to stay, tells her she’s thinking of her, and they’re “too in love to think straight” but Tay never says Karlie loves her back. Ever. It’s never expressly mutual.

I'm drunk in the back of the car

And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (Oh)

Said, "I'm fine," but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate (Oh)

And I scream, "For whatever it's worth

I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

He looks up, grinning like a devil

Look at that fourth line. It perfectly fits with the Kaylor narrative on Rep and it doesn’t fit the Tily songs at all. She wanted to keep that second relationship private and secret and hidden. And here she’s saying “I don’t want to keep secrets” - this is take two of “I don’t want you like a best friend”. Also the “for whatever it’s worth” reminds me of “here’s the truth” from End Game. It’s the kind of thing you’d say in the midst of a fight.

Then we have her screaming “I love you” and receiving no reply as usual beyond a devilish grin. The more I do these analyses the less I understand how or why Kaylor gets romanticized in the way it does, while Swiftgron gets bashed for toxicity. Like my girl Tay has a thing for chaotic lesbians with commitment issues and Kaylor seems like it was WILD.

Back to the lyrics, this time let’s look at Kaylor anthem Cornelia Street:

We were in the backseat

Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar

"I rent a place on Cornelia Street"

I say casually in the car

We were a fresh page on the desk

Filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead

Leading us home

I find this whole song really interesting because it features one of Tay’s favorite ideas - glamorizing normal people things. It’s like the time with the “motel bar” in Getaway Car. Like she 100% was thrilled to be able to say “I’m renting this apartment” - never mind that it’s basically a whole ass house. I actually think the above verse is really beautiful. I know I give Kaylor a lot of shit but obviously there were beautiful moments and Tay had/has plenty of good memories.

And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name

And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I mean frankly this verse above is super insecure in the standard Kaylor way. Tay’s saying she’s terrified of Karlie walking away and that she “hopes” she never loses her. The tone is sad, forlorn and a little desperate. I also think it’s interesting that she says she’d never walk Cornelia Street again, and that the city screams Karlie’s name and then on hoax she goes ahead and says she left a part of herself back in New York. It’s almost like her fears and anxieties did prove justified. Poor baby.

Windows flung right open, autumn air

Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours

We bless the rains on Cornelia Street

Memorize the creaks in the floor

Back when we were card sharks, playing games

I thought you were leading me on

I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street

Before you even knew I was gone

But then you called, showed your hand

I turned around before I hit the tunnel

Sat on the roof, you and I

Those first four lines seem to be about the good again, and I’m happy for them. I really do think they had good times. Those four lines make me think of parts of YAIL and the toast and weekends and stuff.

The rest of this verse though seems to be about the first split and subsequent reunion. “I thought you were leading me on” she says, and I “left Cornelia Street” presumably to go to London. But then Karlie called her back, “showed her hand” and Tay “turned around” before she reached the point of no return and they worked it out. “Sat on the roof, you and I” is similar in content to “up on the roof with a schoolgirl crush” but very different in tone. She’s not peppy here, she’s not positive. It’s a little bit tortured - and then it continues with “hoping it never ends”. The reappearance of the Tily imagery on Kaylor 2.0 songs makes sense to me, again, because discussing exes in the same social circle as you is just blatant lesbian culture. It makes complete sense that these two women are on Taylor’s mind. She has really really deep feelings for Karlie but she enjoyed the more simple and straightforward relationship she had with Lily.

DBATC is the Kaylor 1.0 breakup anthem:

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk, but it's not enough

'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier's still flickering here

'Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not

It's death by a thousand cuts

We have her getting drunk to forget, trying to say “I’m fine” when it’s not true, and just generally missing Karlie.

I dress to kill my time, I take the long way home

I mean, this is Cornelia Street (“never walk here again”) and Dress all over again. It’s the two ideas from before but now on the other side, because they’re actually broken up.

And what once was ours is no one's now

I see you everywhere, the only thing we share

Is this small town

You said it was a great love, one for the ages

But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

“I see you everywhere” is very “this city screams your name” and I think “small town” is a metaphor for their social circle. The last two lines are just Tay being hung up on Karlie. She was writing pages in Cornelia Street as well, so this whole idea of telling a story with Karlie is another recurrent image.

My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch

Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club

Our songs, our films, united, we stand

Our country, guess it was a lawless land

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust

Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up

Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough

But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

I mean this is the usual obsession, desperation and general pining Tay has for Karlie. We also have Karlie touching her briefly, which is something she has spoken about before and is really into. Paper-thin plans is probably about the plans to make it work? We have that image reparations later in hoax so I think it’s most likely about Karlie bailing on Tay’s PR game and doing her own thing and/or Karlie’s (accidental?) involvement in the masters heist.

Also, this whole song is very sad but it’s not on the level of desperation I would expect if Tay wasn’t rebounding hard and if they didn’t reunite. She’s pretty sad about how the whole thing went down but she does say she’ll “be alright” which is the opposite of “that’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend”. I think she wrote this after the first breakup and Cornelia Street came later, after they were back together. That’s when she really went all in into this relationship. It still wasn’t enough.

False God is about their reunion:

We were crazy to think

Crazy to think that this could work

Remember how I said I'd die for you?

We were stupid to jump

In the ocean separating us

Remember how I'd fly to you?

We know Tay ran away to Europe after the mess of 2016 and here she jumps into the ocean separating them and flies back to Karlie. The idea of it being “crazy” that it could work is also a recurrent fear/anxiety she has with regards to Karlie. “I had a bad feeling,” remember?

And I can't talk to you when you're like this

Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town

I'm New York City, I still do it for you, babe

They all warned us about times like this

They say the road gets hard and you get lost

When you're led by blind faith, blind faith

They’re figuring things out, and Tay is New York - Karlie’s favorite city. “I still do it for you” is an admission of affection, which rarely happens in Kaylor songs, but it’s so sexual that I don’t find it shocking or out of character.

But we might just get away with it

Religion's in your lips

Even if it's a false god

We'd still worship

We might just get away with it

The altar is my hips

Even if it's a false god

We'd still worship this love

I mean sex songs are just peak Kaylor and this is all just so so so gay and I don’t understand how hets can make it make srnse. “We might just get away with it” is the usual Kaylor anxiety by the way.

I know heaven's a thing

I go there when you touch me, honey

Hell is when I fight with you

But we can patch it up good

Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness

Got the wine for you

And you can't talk to me when I'm like this

Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you

You're the West Village

You still do it for me, babe

They all warned us about times like this

They say the road gets hard and you get lost

When you're led by blind faith, blind faith

Standard Kaylor imagery with sensual touching, wine and New York and a direct reference to Karlie’s apartment. I think “make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness” appears to refer to the reunion.

Daylight is a very beautiful love song for Karlie. The “golden”, the bodies intertwining, New York, and the depth of her emotions all fit the Kaylor story and narrative. I think she wrote this when they were back together. It’s also, as is common with the Kaylor songs, squarely from Tay’s perspective. She wrote it alone, and I think specifically for Karlie when they reunited. Very pretty, very nice. I mean they ended up breaking up and that was bound to happen in like every other song but when they were good Tay did create some gems and they were very happy. I love this song and I do like aspects of Kaylor’s time together.

Now we get onto the songs that don’t neatly fit Kaylor.

Afterglow could be a Kaylor song. But it could also be about the breakup with her rebound. It’s not only by Tay, so we’re looking for broad themes rather than specifics necessarily.

Hey, it's all me, in my head

I'm the one who burned us down

But it's not what I meant

Sorry that I hurt you

I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)

I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)

I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go

Meet me in the afterglow

I don’t know that this sounds like the Kaylor breakup we heard about. It’s a different premise to False God, DBATC and Cornelia Street. In all of those songs it was a mutual breakup/misunderstanding. “I can’t talk to you” and then “you can’t talk to me” in False God is a two-way communication issue. DBATC goes off at Karlie for taking up every part of her and “giving up on me”. Cornelia Street said Tay thought Karlie was “leading her on” but that was resolved. Then Afterglow goes and lays all the blame on Tay.

I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Went off like sirens, just crying

Why'd I have to break what I love so much?

It's on your face, don't walk away, I need to say

Hey, it's all me, in my head

I'm the one who burned us down

I mean this really does sound like it’s Tay fucking up badly. Not wanting to let the other person in, taking it out on them, hurting her lover.

It's so excruciating to see you low

Just wanna lift you up and not let you go

This ultraviolet morning light below

Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh

This really doesn’t sound like the Kaylor fear and stress. It sounds like the cerebral and emotional connection from Rep. “It’s so excruciating to see you low” seems tied up with the heart to hearts and conversations she was having in those secondary songs on Rep.

Tell me that you're still mine

Tell me that we'll be just fine

Even when I lose my mind

I need to say

Tell me that it's not my fault

Tell me that I'm all you want

Even when I break your heart

I need to say

This just seems like a very different plan for fixing things than the one outlined in the Kaylor songs (which is “let’s bone”). Also “I break your heart” is an anxiety that seems to parallel the burgeoning love in Delicate, KOMH and CIWYW. It doesn’t seem like a Kaylor fear because Tay is always the one who wants Karlie more. I believe this is mostly a Tily breakup song.

Then we get the three happy songs on the album: Lover, I Think He Knows and Paper Rings. It’s actually pretty intense that there are only three peppy, romantic songs on an album largely touted by Gaylors and Hetlors alike as being about a happy long term relationship.

You want my controversial explanation for these songs? They’re fictional. All three are extremely vague and lacking in any of the Karlie/other person imagery. They’re like New Year’s Day and some of the early stuff.

I Think He Knows is a very hetro song. It physically pains me to say that, it really does, but nothing about it seems gay to me. I guess “boyish look” is something you could say about some women but that’s really a reach. Also it’s just very much not a relatable lesbian emotion. I’ve never met a queer woman being like “yeah I think she KNOWS, you know?” about her girlfriend. “She’s so obsessed with me and boy I understand” would make no sense. Us sapphics are compulsive overthinkers. And that’s what comes across on all her songs about Karlie and about Di and even those Tily songs from Rep. That’s largely why Tay’s stuff is so damn gay.

Tay’s permanently anxious - even on her love songs, there’s a thread of anxiety running through it all. This song is missing any of that anxiety. This song also has so, so many male pronouns…. And “I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans” is an objectively weird thing to say about a relationship. It just doesn’t strike me as sapphic, and it definitely doesn’t strike me as being about Karlie lr Lily or Di. Also Nashville is 16th Avenue and I don’t know why any of the women would be associated with Nashville.

That Nashville reference makes me think that maybe the song is inspired by the music industry generally? If you go look at 16th Avenue by Lacy J. Dalton, there’s a clear narrative about the music industry. I think it’s possible that Tay’s song is referencing the love she feels for and from the music industry and her fans. That would tie into the architectural plans, being 17 (she often speaks about being stuck at that age because it’s when she got famous), and “he’s so obsessed with me” makes sense when you’re AOTD. Even the “attitude” line makes sense in this interpretation.

This bit:

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

"So where we gonna go?"

I whisper in the dark

"Where we gonna go?"

I think he knows

Is a little harder to make sense of and seems like it could maybe be about Lily or at least inspired by her - there’s the car/driving theme from the secondary Rep relationship and Lily does have indigo eyes (they’re way bluer than Joe’s). So maybe she used images and diaries from that period to add to the story about Nashville? But overall this smugness just doesn’t strike me as very gay and in general the song doesn’t seem to be about any one woman in her history. Also “better lock it down or I won’t stick around” is so very hetro and like… untortured.

Paper Rings is not about Karlie but I also don’t think it’s about Lily.

The moon is high

Like your friends were the night that we first met

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

Now I've read all of the books beside your bed

The wine is cold

Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street

Cat and mouse for a month or two or three

Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

This is not about Karlie. We’ve heard repeatedly that they fell in love at first sight so “month or two or three” is kinda wild? Like they full on U-Hauled it with the Big Sur trip and Tay moving to New York and Karlie basically moving into her apartment. They were never cat and mouse? Also Karlie was a supermodel by the time they met one another so “trying to stalk you on the internet” seems a bit of an odd way to phrase it. There would’ve been plenty to find. They both had big reputations. Moreover, they had multiple mutual friends so “your friends” is also an odd turn of phrase. How does this verse fit any aspect of the Kaylor love story?

In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool

When you jumped in first, I went in too

I'm with you even if it makes me blue

Which takes me back

To the color that we painted your brother's wall

Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws

We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so

This is also very not Kaylor lol except for the tall part. The chilled out hanging out and swimming and wall painting sounds more like the songs about Tily on Rep.

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want, and

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want

In paper rings in picture frames in dirty dreams

Oh, you're the one I want

This seems like it could be Tily because of the “we went from friends to this” (Kaylor were never friends, and had no intention of being friends, they’ve literally only ever dated). But I’m not sure Tay ever wanted to marry Lily? That’s not what comes across in the other Tily songs.

I want to drive away with you

I want your complications too

I want your dreary Mondays

Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

The driving and the chilledness is similar to the Tily songs but I’m still not sold. It really doesn’t feel particularly authentic.

Also, I know I mostly do lyric analysis but I’d like to include this quote from Tay about the song: “This song talks about true love, and if you really find true love, you probably don't really care what the symbolism of that love is. Material things wouldn't matter to you anymore if you found someone that you just wanted to live your life with.” The quote is distinctly hypothetical. “You probably don’t really care” “wouldn’t” “if you found”....

My gut says this is based around positive romantic relationships she has had but is extrapolated to a rosy conclusion. One day, Tay’s gonna want to marry someone with paper rings. But for now it’s a fictional hypothetical. None of the details fit any of her relationships. It’s made up. That’s why it includes the “baby boy” line... because it’s fiction.

And now for the really hot take… Lover is equally made up, although she was - again - inspired by her real relationships.

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

This is our place, we make the rules

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

This is continuing the themes from New Year’s Day which always strikes me as a “what if” rather than an actual ode to one of the muses. That final line seems like it could be about Karlie but the absolute calmness with which she sings makes it seem like it’s not about her. The mysterious way is also a brand new image and considering how much she sings about Karlie you would’ve thought we’d have had that image at least once before?

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out and take me home

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

I mean this doesn’t sound like Kaylor. Part of the anxiety there is always about going places together and being seen. It does have bits that seem like Tily to me; “take me out and take me home” kind of reminds me of the “meet me in the back” and “can we always be this close” seems similar to “is it chill that you’re in my head?”

We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

The first three lines could be about either Karlie or Lily although I don’t know if Tily had “their place”. Kaylor definitely did.

That last line… is kinda why I think this is mostly fiction. I mean we know it doesn’t make sense for Toe. We know that. And I know about the gymnastics to fit it as a Kaylor song. But the thing is, even if she wrote it around the time that they went away to Wyoming, why wouldn’t she update it when recording it? It literally doesn’t fit the Toe timeline so it can’t be that she wanted it for that. She could’ve made it vague. But no she says “three summers”. Where else have we heard about “three summers”?

September saw a month of tears

And thankin' God that you weren't here

To see me like that

But in a box beneath my bed

Is a letter that you never read

From three summers back

It's hard not to find it all a little bitter sweet

That’s from Tim McGraw.

She just likes that image. It recurs. It’s not about Karlie, and it’s not about Lily, and it’s obviously not about Joe. It’s just a pretty turn of phrase. She loves counting in summers and Cruel Summers and the summer in Betty/august…. It’s not something she associates with one person.

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my

Lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my

Lover

This whole wedding bit doesn’t make sense for either Kaylor or Tily or Swiftgron. Like she’s constantly questioning Karlie’s commitment to her. And you want me to believe she’s singing vows? Lol no.

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat

Lover

Very cute. Very non-specific. Not about any one partner.

So this supposed ode/serenade to Karlie doesn’t feature any of the images associated with her and doesn’t include any details that actively fit their relationship arc as described elsewhere except for jealousy and possibly love at first sight.

These three peppy love songs - which make up the minority of songs on the album - are about Taylor’s manifestations for the future. ITHK could be about the industry more generally. The other two are describing what she wants and what she pictures as ideal for a relationship.

So conclusions: a large chunk of the songs on Lover aren’t about romance. Many, many are about Karlie. Afterglow could be about Lily and some of the regrets Tay had about the split. Paper Rings, I Think He Knows and Lover aren’t about anyone in particular.

Last thought: I agree that It’s Nice To Have a Friend is about lesbians generally. But also possibly about Karlie, in which case the final verse is Karlie choosing the marriage with Josh and in that case the song is fucking devastating and heartbreaking. But tbh a lot about Kaylor is so it’s no surprise 🤷🏻‍♀️

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As usual, I’m up to discuss this. Do you agree? Disagree? Let’s talk! xx

#tily nation where you at #tily #taylorswift #lyric analysis #lover #taylor swift #gaylor swift #kaylor #lover analysis

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odd-birds-and-booksellers · 4 years ago

Text

Let’s Go Home

16x14 - A Diagnosis Rewrite

I re wrote the ending of 16x14 where Jo leaves Alex the voicemail, this is how the story went in my head. Your welcome.

Jo sighs, leaning against the nurses desk watching Rachel and Brian embrace each other, she feels nauseous knowing the woman's husband passed away a mere few hours ago and here she is being held by another man.

“Hey you…” Jo hears a voice she knows to well come up behind her, her body jolting as she feels a familiar hand wrap around her waist, turning she finds Alex standing beside her, he looks exhausted, big purple bags under his eyes and he's not shaven since he left she thinks.

“What...You’re...how..” Jo stutters, shocked that he's standing beside her after she’d spent the day imagining the various worst case scenarios, which had included him having several affairs.

“Flew out this morning, was gonna go straight home and sleep but I heard your voicemail when I got off the plane and figured you might need me here.” He shrugs, still holding her tightly against him like nothing in the world was wrong.

“Alex...I” She still can’t form the words, instead she turns, wrapping her arms around him holding him close, relief flooding through her when she feels him pull her in closer. He’s here, he came back to her.

“I take it you missed me?” He teases, pressing a light kiss to her hair, he's about to make a joke when he feels tears seeping through his t-shirt. “Jo?” He pulls back, placing one hand under her chin forcing her to look up at him. “Hey I know I’ve been a bit M.I.A but I'm here I’m okay” he whispers, pulling her back in, shushing her as he strokes her hair softly. “I’m here.”

“I thought you’d left…” Jo mumbles through her tears, pulling back so she can wipe her eyes “I thought you were having an affair.” She chokes out, letting out a half laugh at how absurd she sounded now he was here in front of her.

Frowning Alex tries to hold back a laugh himself. “An affair? Jesus I go away for like a week and all of sudden I’m having an affair.”

“Shut up.” Jo growls smacking his chest. “It’s not funny Alex, why weren’t you answering my calls.” She snaps, briefly looking around to see if anyone else was watching them.

“I was busy.” Alex shrugs, but the glare Jo gives him lets him know that answer isn't gonna fly. “Mom broke her hip and they were worried the disruption to her routine would cause her to relapse.” He admits looking down at his feet.

“What?” Jo shrieks, loudly causing several nurses to stop what they were doing. “Sorry..” she whispers before turning back to Alex. “Is she okay? Why didn’t you tell me?” She slaps his chest again, causing him to groan.

“Ouch woman.” Alex snaps, grabbing her hand softly, pushing it back down to her side. “Stop that.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Jo seethes, narrowing her eyes at her husband. “I would’ve come with you...I could've helped.”

“I know that…” He shrugs again, shoving his hands in his pocket. “I know but I got the call and you were in surgery and I just left I didn’t have time to think and when I got there, there was so much going on, they needed papers signed for her surgeries and her meds and she was freaking out..-”

Jo cuts him off placing her hand on his chest, “A text would have been sufficient Alex, just to know you were okay.”she shakes her head at him, how could he not tell her this.

“You’ve been doing so well in recovery Jo...my mom...she...it was really bad. I didn’t want you to get caught up in it.” He admits, cradling her face in his hands, rubbing his thumb across her cheek softly.

She softens at his words, her anger fading, hating that her husband didn't feel like he could ask for her support. “I...I..” She lost for words, she feels so guilty.

“Hey you think we could have this conversation later? Maybe when I'm less sleep deprived. I know we need to talk, I know we do...just not right now okay?” Alex asks, lopping his arms around her waist, resting his forehead against her breathing in the vanilla scent of her shampoo that let him know he was finally home.

“Sure” Jo nods, grabbing one of the IPads from the nurses station, to sign out.

“So they’re the couple from the bear attack?” Alex gestures towards the room Jo had been staring at moments ago.

Jo eyebrows knitted together as she looks up from the screen. “How did you…”

“Link.” Alex explains. “Saw him down in the E.R he mentioned it, said it was hitting you pretty hard, husband looks okay now though, Link made it sound much worse.”

“That’s not the husband...” Jo sighs turning back to Rachel and Brian “That’s the man she was having an affair with, her husband died alone a couple of hours ago.” Jo explains, feeling her eyes well up, she really felt for the man. “I mean he jumped in front of a bear for her and it turns out she's not even in love with him anymore and while he died alone she was here with her lover.”

Jo turns to find Alex’s eyes already on her. “So that's why you said you’d jump in front of a bear for me...I was so confused by that whole voicemail.” He admits, rubbing light circles in the small of her back, in a vain attempt to comfort her, he knows she gets invested in her patients and theres never much he can do other then show up and be there.

“Would you jump in front of the bear for me?” Jo questions, running her hands up his arms to rest on his shoulders, tilting her head to the side as she waits for his answer.

“God No…” Alex shrieks recoiling. “I have seen a bear up close and they are terrifying.”

Jo rolls her eyes, shoving his chest slightly. “Charming…”

“What?” Alex laughs “I’m serious...you wouldn’t be saying this if you had seen a bear in real life.”

Jo mutters something incoherent under her breath as she fidgets in his arms, pouting at his response.

“Look if we were ever attacked by a bear I’d…” Alex starts, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“You’d what?” Jo grins, pulling him in closer until they are just an inch apart.

“I’d use you as a human shield.” He finishes, swooping down, pressing his lips to hers before she even has a chance to react, savoring the feeling of her lips against his, damn it’s good to be home.

“Hey” Jo mutters against his lips, trying to fight the grin on her face, it was good to have him back, even if he would use her as a human shield. Pulling back she presses a light kiss to his neck before pressing her lips to his ear “You wanna continue this at home?”

She feels Alex shudder around her, holding her tighter. “Yeah let's go home.” He nods, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as the wonder down the hallway towards the attendings lounge.

“So if we were attacked by a lion?” Jo queries, a huge grin spread out across her face as she bites her lip watching him.

“Nooo” Alex groans throwing his head back.

“Moose?” She continues, flashing her puppy dog eyes at him.

“A moose?” Alex exclaims, his nose scrunching up as he considers it. “Maybe” he shrugs.

“But definitely if I was attacked by a shark right?”

#jolex fanfic #jolex #alex karev #jo karev #jo wilson #greys anatomy #greysanatony #justin chambers #camilla luddington #greys abc #greys

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bill-hader-imagine · 5 years ago

Text

The escort

Chapter 1 (Bill x reader)

Warnings: nsfw

Word count: 2412

———————————————————————

True love is a sham. You tried to achieve it , for times to be exact. One- your high school sweetheart with muscles from steroid abuse. Two- your professor in college , turns out you weren’t the only student he was giving extra credit to. Three- a salesman you met while you were waitressing at a steakhouse in New York. Well........he said he was a salesman , turns out he was a felon and when the cops found out his location he skipped town. The fourth man was the final straw. His name was Chad, a business man who turned out to be a loan shark. He promised you heaven and delivered hell.

You wish you never introduced him to your dad ....who has a gambling addiction. He was the last person your father needed to meet.

You had a feelings that’s why you got called to the hospital today , you hadn’t seen your dad in a couple days and then this morning your brother called you freaking out and said you needed to come to the hospital.

“Y/n!” He exclaimed when you found your dad’a room. Your heart sank when you looked over at him. He was bloody and covered in bruises and by the looks of things he was being kept alive by tubes. You felt yourself holding back tears ....how did this happen?

As your thoughts were racing your phone rang and of course it was Chad.

“Hey! Did you get my message?” He asked.

“I knew this was your doing. I’ll kill you” you reply with gritted teeth.

“Your father owes me quite a bit of money (y/n) and if he doesn’t pay it , I’m coming after the rest of your family.” He threatens with a menacing tone.

“How much does he owe you?” You ask with little emotion, you couldn’t let your brother see you upset.

“A million dollars” chad laughs.

A MILLION DOLLARS? where the fuck were you going to get a million dollars. You looked at your father helplessly. Dad....what did you do?

Later that night you’re at your best friends house and you tell her everything. About chad hurting your father and about how much money your dad owes him.

“Well...maybe you should consider taking that job with your aunt” she says , hints of worry peppered in her voice.

“Oh god..” you reply putting your head in your hands. Your best friend scoots closer to you and rubs your back comfortingly.

“I know you don’t want to but (y/n) if chad is going to go after the rest of your family , you kinda don’t have a choice.” she adds, and she was right.

“I guess I just feel ashamed , I never thought I’d be one of those girls who sells themselves” you say lifting your head.

“Hey remember when I stripped to get through college? I sold my body and honestly I would do it again if I needed to. It was great money, it’s an honest career (y/n) and nothing to be ashamed of at all. You shake your head.

“Stripping is different, you were a performer a dancer ..... escorts are just hookers - not that there’s anything wrong with that it’s just not for me” you reply.

“Didn’t your aunt say the sex was optional?” Your friend reminds you before an alarm on her phone goes off.

“Oh Christ I have a conference call I’m late for, I really think you should at least talk to your aunt and see what it’s all about ok?”

——————————————————-

The next morning all you can think about is your dad , after a long night of thinking you decide to visit your aunt’s office today, she was pleasantly surprised to see you.

“(Y/n!) hi” she chimes when you stand in the doorway of her office.

“It’s nice to see you aunt-“ you begin to say but she cuts you off with a hand in the air.

“Here you must call me mrs. Smith” she presses, she had an image to withhold.

Before you knew it she smacks the underside of your chin “chin up!” She commands before her hand whacks the small of your back “straighten your Posture” she comments again. She was circling you like you were a show horse she might buy and she nods.

“Well like I’ve always told you , you’re certainly gorgeous” she says with a smile.

“And you’ll be even more gorgeous after we get you all dolled up for your test shots” she adds matter of factly.

“Aunt-“ she shoots you a glare and you correct yourself

“Mrs. Smith I haven’t agreed to anything yet” you implore.

“By the sounds of your situation I dare say you don’t have an option. You told me you needed a lot of money fast well....this is how you make a lot of money and fast” she replies. Damn it she was right.

“If you don’t pay chad off he will come after you and your brother...” she adds

“I need a million dollars though” you say to her helplessly.

“Will this chad person take payments?” She questions with a hand on her hip.

“Yes..” you sigh.

“Well then, you could pay him off in a year... we’ll just have to put you to work right away” she chimes.

“Highest paying accounts only! We will start right now” she adds, she sounded almost excited.

“Yeah I guess I’ll do it” you say quietly. You really didn’t have a choice, hopefully it would be as bad as it felt right now.

“Of course you will ! Now do you have any questions before we start?” She checks.

“How do I get ready to work for you?” You ask almost instantly.

“Oh not much just dolling you up and making you perfect in every way” she responds with a light smile.

“Oh is that all” you reply sarcastically.

“You’ll need to be waxed, buffed , smoothed , made up and made over” she replies.

“I can’t force you to get a make over but I strongly recommend one” she adds.

“Alright I’ll do it “ you say with a smile, a makeover sounded wonderful. You spend the next few hours being prodded, plucked, waxed, scrubbed and painted. Now it was time for the photo shoot , your aunt picked out different costumes for you to wear and you posed and draped yourself over the furniture. The results were amazing! You barely even recognized yourself.

“I knew you’d be a perfect model” you aunt says proudly.

“These pictures are stunning , you’ll pay that awful man back in no time” she adds.

“So what’s next?” You ask.

“Now I will chose the highest paying clients for the coming year and we’ll book you one per month until your debt is paid” she instructs.

“In fact I already have someone in mind for your first client , care to see?” She questions. You nod and she reaches for her phone pulling up a photo. You were surprised to see quite a good looking man on the screen. He had dark chestnut hair , gorgeous blue eyes , a killer jawline and a nice smile.

“Why would someone like him need to pay for a date ?” You ask.

“He chose you, I sent your headshots to him right after we took them and he agreed to the match” she explains.

“He lives in New York so you won’t have to travel far but you’ll be staying at his residences for the next month” she speaks again.

“After your time with him is over , you’ll be sent to another client for another month and so on until your debts are paid.” She says. You felt almost excited , your world as you knew it was about to change.

———————————————————-

It was the start of the month and the client agreed to pick you up in a limo so it looks classy. You look down at all your belongings , they fit into a backpack. Your aunt Told you that clothing was the clients responsibility, not yours. They dress you so that way you know you’re always wearing what they want. You felt your palms start to sweat as the prospect of meeting this man finally set in. As if on cue a sleek black limo pulls up to your apartment, the driver gets out opens the door for you and takes your bag.

“Thank you” you say as you get in, he shuts the door behind you and gets back in the drivers seat. You were surprised to see you were the only one in the limo , you thought the client would be here to greet you.

What a tool.

———————————————————

An hour or so later you arrive at a large mansion on the outskirts of town. The driver opens your door and walks with you to the front porch , you offer to take your bag from him but he insists he has it. Your heart flutters when the client opens the door, he was even more gorgeous in person. His eyes fell on you , your body tingled under his gaze.

“You’re (y/n?)” he asks with a smirk. You nod “and you are?” You question. He opens his door wider letting you in.

“My name is William Thomas Hader jr.” he introduces.

“My friends call me bill” he adds. Your eyebrow quirks playfully.

“Am I your friend?” You ask, again his eyes travel your body and you feel a chill shoot you your spine.

“I’d certainly like that” he says with a smoldering look.

This month was going to be a cake walk, this guy was a total smoke show. Your eyes wander around his home , it was beautiful and had such a gorgeous view. While the gorgeous room was beautifully decorated you find yourself gazing out the window. Rolling hills of green grass and trees for miles.

“Let me take your bag and then I’ll show you around” he says grabbing your bag from you. The limo driver was long gone by now. He sets your bag in a closet somewhere and then grabs you by your hand somewhat nervously. His touch is warm and soft yet strong. You feel your heart beating in your chest as he leads you to what was obviously his bedroom.

“This is my room” he says with a nod. You look around and your eyes fall on his giant bed, it looked so comfortable, and you were so tired from the ride up here. You could feel Bill watching you , it made you extremely self aware. You flash him a slight smile and walk over to the window. His bedroom over looked a glistening lake it must have been a gorgeous sight during a storm.

“Beautiful right?” His voice chimes , he had moved right next to you, you could feel his breath on your cheek. If you got any hotter for this man you were going to melt, but you’d only just met so take it slow, you reminded yourself.

“Now I’ll show you your room” he says as he grabs your hand again and leads you down the hall. You love the feeling of his touch.

Keep it together (y/n) this is a business arrangement. You’re not going to have a relationship with him you’re going to have a........transaction.

“This will be your home for the next month” he says with a smile. You honestly couldn’t complain it sure beats the hell out of your single bedroom apartment.

“Here are all the clothes you’ll need” he says again as he opens the enormous walk in closet , your jaw drops.

“You are of course welcome to keep anything you’d like” he adds. You barley hear him as your gawk at the gorgeous designer clothes with the tags still on them.

“It’s all so beautiful, thank you” you chime smiling. All of this only made you question why Bill would ever need to hire an escort, he’s handsome he’s rich and he’s generous he should have no problems finding a girl.

“You are quite possibly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on” Bill speaks. His words melted into you and made you feel sensations you didn’t even know existed.

“I’m glad you want to lay them on me” you respond with a flirty smile.

Your eyes meet his and you move closer to one another. You can feel his body beat through your clothes this man is absolutely radiant. Bill leans into you to whisper in your ear

“I can’t wait to see you naked” he chimes.

“Well...you’ve got me for the month” you reply.

“Wait hold on” you add.

“Isn’t sex optional? You’re certainly making assumptions Mr. Hader” you say again.

He simply smiles “I’m aware of the contract (y/n)........I’m also aware of what it feels like to want and to be wanted” he says.

“If I see you naked it won’t be because I’m paying for it” he adds with a smile of confidence.

“It’ll be because you want me to see you naked” he puts his arms around your waist and pulls you closer you gasp as his hardness presses into you.

“If you drop your clothes for me, I won’t have had to ask” he says quietly in your ear. Every fiber of your being was waiting for his next touch. He kisses you lightly behind your ear , the feeling of his stubbly chin brushing against your smooth one sent shivers down your spine and you could feel desire pooling between your thighs. You let a soft moan slip out and his strong hands tighten around your waist. His hard length grinds against you and he places another soft kiss on your cheek.

“I can wait until I don’t have to ask” he says and just like that he lets you go. You stand there smiling he returns the smile before speaking again.

“I have some work to catch up on, my house is yours , feel free to do whatever you’d like, sunbathe, use the pool but I’ll need you ready and wearing a cocktail dress at 6pm sharp” he informs.

“What’s happening at 6?” You ask.

“We’re going to a party, I’ll tell you more later on” he replies.

“See you at 6” you say.

“See you then Ms. (y/n)” he squeezes the top of your hip before leaving.

Fuck. He’s going to be trouble.

———————————————————————

A/N: that was chapter one let me know what you guys think in the comments!

Taglist: @loser-trashmouth @hadersadork

#bill hader fanfic #bill hader x reader #bill hader #bill hader imagine #bill hader smut

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za3k · 4 years ago

Text

2020 Videogames

In 2020 I’m newly retired, so I’ve had free time. I think it’s fun to do reviews, so without further ado here’s every video game I played in 2020!

I recommend:

(4/5) Among Us – Very fun. It’s only fun with voice chat with friends, so I’ve only gotten to play once or twice. I’ve been watching it more than playing it. Also free to play for mobile gamers–I’m tired of the “everyone buys a copy” model of group gameplay.

(4/5) Brogue. Brogue is an ascii-art roguelike. It’s great, and it has a nice difficulty ramp. It’s a good “quick break” game. I play it in preference to other roguelikes partly because I haven’t done it to death yet, and partly because I don’t need a numpad?

(4/5) Cook Serve Delicious 3. One of the more fun games I played this year. You get really into it, but I had trouble relaxing and paying attention to the real world when I played too much, haha. I own but haven’t played the first two–I gather this is pretty much just a refinement.

(4/5) Green Hell. Price tag is a bit high for the number of hours I got out of it, but I haven’t finished the story. Great graphics, and the BEST map design I’ve seen in a 3D game in a long time. It feels like a real place, with reasonable geography instead of copy-pasted tiles. I love that as you walk along, you can just spot a cultivated area from the rest of the jungle–it feels more like it’s treating me like an adult than most survival games. Everything still gets highlighted if you can pick it up. I played the survival mode, which was okay but gets old quickly. I started the story mode–I think it would be fine, but it has some LONG unskippable scenes at the start, including a very hand-holdy tutorial, that I think they should have cut. I did start getting into the story and was having fun, but I stopped. I might finish the game some time.

(4/5) Hyperrogue. One of my recent favorites. The dev has made a fair number of highly experimental games, most of which are a total miss with me, but this one is fun. I do wish the early game wasn’t quite as repetitive. Failing another solution, I might actually want this not to be permadeath, or to have a save feature? I bought it on steam to support the dev and get achievements, but it’s also available a version or two behind free, which is how I tried it. Constantly getting updates and new worlds.

(4/5) Minecraft – Compact Claustrophobia modpack. Fun idea, nice variety. After one expansion felt a little samey, and it was hard to start with two people. I’d consider finishing this pack.

(4/5) Overcooked 2. Overcooked 2 is just more levels for Overcooked. The foods in the second game is more fun, and it has better controls and less bugs. If you’re considering playing Overcooked, I recommend just starting with the second game, despite very fun levels in the first. I especially appreciate that the second game didn’t just re-use foods from the first.

(4/5) Please Don’t Press Anything. A unique little game where you try to get all the endings. I had a lot of fun with this one, but it could have used some kind of built-in hints like Reventure. Also, it had a lot of red herrings. Got it for $2, which it was well worth.

(5/5) Reventure. Probably the best game new to me this year. It’s a short game where you try to get each of about 100 endings. The art and writing are cute and funny. The level design is INCREDIBLE. One thing I found interesting is the early prototype–if I had played it, I would NOT have imagined it would someday be any fun at all, let alone as amazing as it is. As a game designer I found that interesting! I did 100% complete this one–there’s a nice in-game hint system, but there were still 1-3 “huh” puzzles, especially in the post-game content, one of which I had to look up. It’s still getting updates so I’m hoping those will be swapped for something else.

(5/5) Rimworld. Dwarf fortress, but with good cute graphics, set in the Firefly universe. Only has 1-10 pawns instead of hundreds of dwarves. Basically Dwarf Fortress but with a good UI. I wish you could do a little more in Rimworld, but it’s a fantastic, relaxing game.

(5/5) Slay the Spire. Probably the game I played most this year. A deckbuilding adventure through a series of RPG fights. A bit luck-based, but relaxing and fun. I like that you can play fast or slow. Very, very well-designed UI–you can really learn how things work. My favorite part is that because it’s singleplayer, it’s really designed to let you build a game-breaking deck. That’s how it should be!

(4/5) Stationeers. I had a lot of fun with this one. It’s similar to Space Engineers but… fun. It has better UI by a mile too, even if it’s not perfect. I lost steam after playing with friends and then going back to being alone, as I often do for base-building games. Looks like you can genuinely make some complicated stuff using simple parts. Mining might not be ideal.

(5/5) Spy Party. One of my favorite games. Very fun, and an incredibly high skill ceiling. There’s finally starting to be enough people to play a game with straners sometimes. Bad support for “hot seat”–I want to play with beginners in person, and it got even harder with the introduction of an ELO equivalent and removing the manual switch to use “beginner” gameplay.

(4/5) Telling Lies. A storytelling game. The core mechanic is that you can use a search engine for any phrase, and it will show the top 5 survellance footage results for that. The game internally has transcripts of every video. I didn’t really finish the game, but I had a lot of fun with it. The game was well-made. I felt the video acting didn’t really add a huge amount, and they could have done a text version, but I understand it wouldn’t have had any popular appeal. The acting was decent. There’s some uncomfortable content, on purpose.

(4/5) Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (TABS). Delightful. Very silly, not what you’d expect from the name. What everyone should have been doing with physics engines since they were invented. Imagine that when a caveman attacks, the club moves on its own and the caveman just gets ragdolled along, glued to it. Also the caveman and club have googley eyes. Don’t try to win or it will stop being fun. Learn how to turn on slo-mo and move the camera.

(4/5) We Were Here Together. Lots of fun. I believe the second game out of three. Still some crashes and UI issues. MUCH better puzzles and the grpahics are gorgeous. They need to fix the crashes or improve the autosave, we ended up replaying a lot of both games from crashes. It’s possible I should be recommending the third game but I haven’t played it yet.

The Rest

(3/5) 5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel. More fun that it sounds. If you play to mess around and win by accident, it’s pretty good. Definitely play with a second human player, though.

(1.5/5) 7 billion humans. Better than the original, still not fun. Soulless game about a soulless, beige corporation. Just play Zachtronics instead. If you’re on a phone and want to engage your brain, play Euclidea.

(3/5) A Dark Room. Idle game.

(1/5) Amazing Cultivation Simulator. A big disappointment. Bad english voice acting which can’t be turned off, and a long, unskippable tutorial. I didn’t get to actual gameplay. I like Rimworld and cultivation novels so I had high hopes.

(3/5) ADOM (Steam version) – Fun like the original, which I would give 5/5. Developed some major issues on Linux, but I appreciate that there’s a graphical version available, one of my friends will play it now.

(4/5) agar.io – Good, but used to be better. Too difficult to get into games now. Very fun and addictive gameplay.

(3/5) Amorous – Furry dating sim. All of the hot characters are background art you can’t interact with, and the characters you can actually talk to are a bunch of sulky nerds who for some reason came to a nightclub. I think it was free, though.

(0/5) Apis. Alpha game, AFAIK I was the first player. Pretty much no fun right now (to the point of not really being a game yet), but it could potentially become fun if the author puts in work.

(4/5) Autonauts. I played a ton of Autonauts this year, almost finished it, which is rare for me. My main complaint is that it’s fundamentally supposed to be a game about programming robots, but I can’t actually make them do more than about 3 things, even as a professional programmer. Add more programming! It can be optional, that’s fine. They’re adding some kind of tower defense waves instead, which is bullshit. Not recommended because it’s not for everyone.

(3/5) A-Z Inc. Points for having the guts to have a simple game. At first this looked like just the bones of Swarm Simulator, but the more you look at the UI and the ascension system, the worse it actually is. I would regularly reset because I found out an ascension “perk” actually made me worse off.

(5/5) Beat Saber. Great game, and my favorite way to stay in shape early this year. Oculus VR only, if you have VR you already have this game so no need to recommend. Not QUITE worth getting a VR set just to play it at current prices.

(1/5) Big Tall Small. Good idea, but no fun to play. Needed better controls and level design, maybe some art.

(0.5/5) Blush Blush. Boring.

(3/5) Business Shark. I had too much fun with this simple game. All you do is just eat a bunch of office workers.

(3/5) chess.com. Turns out I like chess while I’m high?

(3/5) Circle Empires Rivals. Decent, more fun than the singleplayer original. It shouldn’t really have been a separate game from Circle Empires, and I’m annoyed I couldn’t get it DRM-free like the original.

(3/5) Cross Virus. By Dan-box. Really interesting puzzle mechanics.

(4/5) Cultist Simulator. Really fun to learn how to play–I love games that drop you in with no explanation. Great art and writing, I wish I could have gotten their tarot deck. Probably the best gameplay “ambience” I’ve seen–getting a card that’s labeled “fleeting sense of radiance” that disappears in 5 seconds? Great. Also the core stats are very well thought out for “feel” and real-life accuracy–dread (depression) conquers fascination (mania), etc. It has a few gameplay gotchas, but they’re not too big–layout issues, inability to go back to skipped text, or to put your game in an unwinnable state early on). Unfortunately it’s a “roguelike”, and it’s much too slow-paced and doesn’t have enough replay value, so it becomes a horrible, un-fun grind when you want to actually win. I probably missed the 100% ending but I won’t be going back to get it. I have no idea who would want to play this repeatedly. I’m looking forward to the next game from the same studio though! I recommend playing a friend’s copy instead of buying.

(2/5) Darkest Dungeon. It was fine but I don’t really remember it.

(2/5) Dicey Dungeons. Okay deck-building roguelike gameplay (with an inventory instead of a deck). Really frustrating, unskippably slow difficulty curve at the start. I played it some more this year and liked it better because I had a savegame. I appreciate having several character classes, but they should unlock every difficulty from the start.

(2/5) Diner Bros. Basically just a worse Overcooked. I didn’t like the controls, and it felt too repetitive with only one diner.

(2/5) Don’t Eat My Mind You Stupid Monster. Okay art and idea, the gameplay wasn’t too fun for me.

(2/5) Don’t Starve – I’ve played Don’t Stave maybe 8 different times, and it’s never really gripped me, I always put it back down. It’s slow, a bit grindy, and there’s no bigger goal–all you can do is live.

(3/5) Don’t Starve Together – Confusingly, Don’t Starve Together can be played alone. It’s Don’t Starve, plus a couple of the expansions. This really could be much more clearly explained.

(1/5) Elemental Abyss – A deck-builder, but this time it’s grid-based tactics. Really not all that fun. Just play Into the Abyss instead or something.

(1/5) Else Heart.Break() – I was excited that this might be a version of “Hack N’ Slash” from doublefine that actually delivered and let you goof around with the world. I gave it up in the first ten minutes, because the writing and characters drove me crazy, without getting to hacking the world.

(2/5) Everything is Garbage. Pretty good for a game jam game. Not a bad use of 10 minutes. I do think it’s probably possible to make the game unwinnable, and the ending is just nothing.

(1/5) Evolve. Idle game, not all that fun. I take issue with the mechanic in Sharks, Kittens, and this where buying your 15th fence takes 10^15 wood for some reason.

(4/5) Exapunks. Zachtronics has really been killing it lately, with Exapunks and Opus Magnum. WONDERFUL art and characters during story portions, and much better writing. The gameplay is a little more varied than in TIS-100 or the little I played of ShenZen I/O. My main complaint about Zachtronics games continues to be, that I don’t want to be given a series of resource-limited puzzles (do X, but without using more than 10 programming instructions). Exapunks is the first game where it becomes harder to do something /at all/, rather than with a particular amount of resources, but it’s still not there for me. Like ShenZen, they really go for a variety of hardware, too. Can’t recommend this because it’s really only for programmers.

(1/5) Exception. Programming game written by some money machine mobile games company. Awful.

(4/5) Factorio. Factorio’s great, but for me it doesn’t have that much replay value, even with mods. I do like their recent updates, which included adding blueprints from the start of the game, improving belt sorting, and adding a research queue. We changed movement speed, made things visually always day, and adding a small number of personal construction robots from the start this run. I’m sure if you’d like factorio you’ve played it already.

(3/5) Fall Guys – I got this because it was decently fun to watch. Unfortunately, it’s slightly less fun to play. Overall, there’s WAY too much matchmaking waiting considering the number of players, and the skill ceiling is very low on most of the games, some of which are essentially luck (I’m looking at you, team games).

(3/5) Forager – Decent game. A little too much guesswork in picking upgrades–was probably a bit more fun on my second play because of that. Overall, nice graphics and a cute map, but the gameplay could use a bit of work.

(3/5) Getting Over It – Funny idea, executed well. Pretty sure my friends and I have only gotten through 10% of the game, and all hit about the same wall (the first tunnel)

(3/5) Guild of Dungeoneering – Pretty decent gameplay. I feel like it’s a bit too hard for me, but that’s fine. Overall I think it could use a little more cute/fun art, I never quite felt that motivated.

(1/5) Hardspace: Shipbreakers. Okay, I seriously didn’t get to play this one, but I had GAMEBREAKING issues with my controller, which is a microsoft X-box controller for PC–THE development controller.

(2/5) Helltaker. All right art, meh gameplay. But eh, it’s free!

(3/5) Hot Lava. Decent gameplay. Somehow felt like the place that made this had sucked the souls out of all the devs first–no one cared about the story or characters. It’s a game where the floor is made out of lava, with a saturday morning cartoon open, so that was a really an issue. Admirable lack of bugs, though. I’m a completionist so I played the first world a lot to get all the medals, and didn’t try the later ones.

(3/5) House Flipper – Weird, but I had fun. I wish the gameplay was a little more unified–it felt like a bunch of glued-together minigames.

(2/5) Hydroneer. Utterly uninspiring. I couldn’t care about making progress at all, looked like a terrible grind to no benefit.

(1/5) io. Tiny game, I got it on Steam, also available on phone. Basically a free web flash game, but for money. Not good enough to pay the $1 I paid. Just a bit of a time-killer.

(3/5) Islanders – All you do is place buildings and get points. Not particularly challenging, but relaxing. Overall I liked it.

(3/5) Jackbox – I played this online with a streamer. Jackbox has always felt a little bit soulless money grab to me, but it’s still all right. I like that I can play without having a copy–we need more games using this purchase model.

(3/5) Life is Feudal – Soul-crushingly depressing and grindy, which I knew going in. I thought it was… okay, but I really want an offline play mode (Yes, I know there’s an unsupported single-player game, but it’s buggier and costs money). UI was pretty buggy, and I think hunting might literally be impossible.

(2/5) Minecraft – Antimatter Chemistry. Not particularly fun.

(3/5) Minecraft – ComputerCraft. I played a pack with just ComputerCraft and really nothing else. Was a little slow, would have been more fun with more of an audience. I love the ComputerCraft mod, I just didn’t have a great experience playing my pack I made.

(3/5) Minecraft – Foolcraft 3. Fun, a bit buggy. Honestly I can’t remember it too well.

(1/5) Minecraft – Manufactio. Looked potentially fun, but huge bugs and performance issues, couldn’t play.

(4/5) Minecraft – Tekkit. Tekkit remains one of my favorite Minecraft modpacks.

(3/5) Minecraft – Valhelsia 2. I remember this being fun, but I can’t remember details as much as I’d like. I think it was mostly based around being the latest version of minecraft?

(4/5) Minecraft – Volcano Block. Interesting, designed around some weird mods I hadn’t used. I could have used more storage management or bulk dirt/blocks early in the game–felt quite cramped. Probably got a third of the way through the pack. I got novelty value out of it, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed it if I had ever used the plant mod before–it’s a very fixed, linear progression.

(5/5) Minit. This is a weird, small game. I actually had a lot of fun with it. Then I 100% completed it, which was less fun but I still had a good time overall.

(3/5) Monster Box. By Dan-box. One of two Dan-box games I played a lot of. Just visually appealing, the gameplay isn’t amazing. Also, Dan-box does some great programming–this is a game written in 1990 or so, and it can render hundreds of arrows in the air smoothly in a background tab.

(3/5) Monster Train. A relatively fun deckbuilding card game. It can’t run well on my computer, which is UNACCEPTABLE–this is a card game with 2D graphics. My MICROWAVE should run this shit in 2020. Ignoring that, the gameplay style (summon monsters, MTG style) just isn’t my cup of tea.

(2/5) Moonlighter. Felt like it was missing some inspiration, just didn’t have a sense of “fun”. The art was nice. The credits list is surprisingly long.

(2/5) Muse Dash. All right, a basic rhythm game. Not enough variety to the game play, and everything was based around perfect or near-perfect gameplay, which makes things less fun for me.

(3/5) NES games – various. Dr Mario, Ice Climbers. Basically, I got some Chinese handheld “gameboy” that has all the NES games preloaded on it. Overall it was a great purchase.

(2/5) Noita. “The Powder Game” by Dan-Box, as a procedurally generated platformer with guns. Lets you design your own battle spells. Despite the description, you really still can’t screw around as much as I’d like. I also had major performance issues

(3/5) Observation. I haven’t played this one as much as I’d like, I feel like it may get better. Storytelling, 3D game from the point of view of the AI computer on a space station. I think I might have read a book it’s based on, unfortunately.

(2/5) One Step From Eden. This is a deck-building combat tactics game. I thought it was turn-based, but it’s actually realtime. I think if it was turn-based I would have liked it. The characters were a bit uninspired.

(1/5) Orbt XL. Very dull. I paid $0.50 for it, it was worth that.

(4/5) Opus Magnum. Another great game from Zachtronics, along with Exapunks they’re really ramping up. This is the third execution of the same basic concept. I’d like to see Zachtronics treading new ground more as far as gameplay–that said, it is much improved compared to the first two iterations. The art, writing, and story were stellar on the other hand.

(3/5) Out of Space. Fun idea, you clean a spaceship. It’s never that challenging, and it has mechanics such that it gets easier the more you clean, rather than harder. Good but not enough replay value. Fun with friends the first few times. The controls are a little wonky.

(1/5) Outpost (tower defense game). I hate all tower defense.

(3/5) Overcooked. Overcooked is a ton of fun.

(4/5) Powder Game – Dan-box. I played this in reaction to not liking Noita. It’s fairly old at this point. Just a fun little toy.

(1/5) Prime Mover – Very cool art, the gameplay put me to sleep immediately. A “circuit builder” game but somehow missing any challenge or consistency.

(2/5) Quest for Glory I. Older, from 1989. Didn’t really play this much, I couldn’t get into the writing, and the pseudo-photography art was a little jarring.

(4/5) Raft. I played this in beta for free on itch.io, and had a lot of fun. Not enough changed that it was really worth a replay, but it has improved, and I got to play with a second player. Not a hard game, which I think was a good thing. The late game they’ve expanded, but it doesn’t really add much. The original was fun and so was this.

(3/5) Satisfactory. I honestly don’t know how I like this one–I didn’t get too far into it.

(4/5) Scrap Mechanic. I got this on a recommendation from a player who played in creative. I only tried the survival mode–that mode is not well designed, and their focuses for survival are totally wrong. I like the core game, you can actually build stuff. If I play again, I’ll try the creative mode, I think.

(3.5/5) Shapez.io. A weird, abstracted simplification of Factorio. If I hadn’t played factorio and half a dozen copies, I imagine this would have been fun, but it’s just more of the same. Too much waiting–blueprints are too far into the game, too.

(2.5/5) Simmiland. Okay, but short. Used cards for no reason. For a paid game, I wanted more gameplay out of it?

(0.5/5) Snakeybus. The most disappointing game I remember this year. Someone made “Snake” in 3D. There are a million game modes and worlds to play in. I didn’t find anything I tried much fun.

(1/5) Soda Dungeon. A “mobile” (read: not fun) style idle game. Patterned after money-grab games, although I don’t remember if paid progress was actually an option. I think so.

(4/5) Spelunky. The only procedurally generated platformer I’ve ever seen work. Genuinely very fun.

(4/5) Spelunky 2. Fun, more of an upgrade of new content than a new game. Better multiplayer. My computer can’t run later levels at full speed.

(1/5) Stick Ranger 2. Dan-box. Not much fun.

(3/5) Superliminal. Fun game. A bit short for the pricetag.

(3/5) Tabletop Simulator – Aether’s End: Legacy. Interesting, a “campaign” (series of challenge bosses and pre-written encounters) deckbuilding RPG. I like the whole “campaign RPG boardgame” idea. This would have worked better with paper, there were some rough edges in both the game instructions and the port to Tabletop Simulator.

(4/5) Tabletop Simulator – The Captain is Dead. Very fun. I’d love to play with more than 2 people. Tabletop simulator was so-so for this one.

(2/5) Tabletop Simulator – Tiny Epic Mechs. You give your mech a list of instructions, and it does them in order. Arena fight. Fun, but I think I could whip up something at least as good.

(3/5) The Council. One of the only 3D games I finished. It’s a story game, where you investigate what’s going on and make various choices. It’s set in revolutionary france, at the Secret World Council that determines the fate of the world. It had a weak ending, with less choice elements than the rest of the game so far, which was a weird decision. Also, it has an EXCRUTIATINGLY bad opening scene, which was also weird. The middle 95% of the game I enjoyed, although the ending went on a little long. The level of background knowledge expected of the player swung wildly–they seemed to expect me to know who revolutionary French generals were with no explanation, but not Daedalus and the Minotaur. The acting was generally enjoyable–there’s a lot of lying going on in the game and it’s conveyed well. The pricetag is too high to recommend.

(0/5) The Grandma’s Recipe (Unus Annus). This game is unplayably bad–it’s just a random pixel hunt. Maybe it would be fun if you had watched the video it’s based on.

(3/5) The Room. Pretty fun! I think this is really designed for a touchscreen, but I managed to play it on my PC. Played it stoned, which I think helps with popular puzzle games–it has nice visuals but it’s a little too easy.

(3/5) This Call May Be Recorded. Goofy experimental game.

(4/5) TIS-100. Zachtronics. A programming game. I finally got done with the first set of puzzles and into the second this year. I had fun, definitely not for everyone.

(3/5) Trine. I played this 2-player. I think the difficulty was much better 2-player, but it doesn’t manage 2 players getting separated well. Sadly we skipped the story, which seemed like simple nice low-fantasy. Could have used goofier puzzles, it took itself a little too seriously and the levels were a bit same-y.

(2/5) Unrailed. Co-op railroad building game. It was okay but there wasn’t base-building. Overall not my thing. I’d say I would prefer something like Overcooked if it’s going to be timed? Graphics reminded me of autonauts.

(2/5) Vampire Night Shift. Art game. Gameplay could have used a bit of polish. Short but interesting.

(4/5) Wayward. To date, the best survival crafting system I’ve seen. You can use any pointy object and stick-like object, together with glue or twine, to make an arrow. The UI is not great, and there’s a very counter-intuitive difficulty system. You need to do a little too much tutorial reading, and it could use more goals. Overall very fun. Under constant development, so how it plays a given week is a crapshoot. The steam version finally works for me (last time I played it was worse than the free online alpha, now it’s the same or better). I recomend playing the free online version unless you want to support the author.

(1/5) We Need to Go Deeper. Multiplayer exploration game in a sub, with sidescrolling battle. Somehow incredibly unfun, together with high pricetag. Aesthetics reminded me of Don’t Starve somehow.

(2/5) We Were Here. Okay 2-player puzzle game. Crashed frequently, and there were some “huh” puzzles and UI. Free.

(3/5) Yes, your grace. Gorgeous pixel art graphics. The story is supposed to be very player-dependent, but I started getting the feeling that it wasn’t. I didn’t quite finish the game but I think I was well past halfway. Hard to resume after a save, you forget things. I got the feeling I wouldn’t replay it, which is a shame because it’s fun to see how things go differently in a second play with something like this.

These are not all new to me, and very few came out in 2020. I removed any games I don’t remember and couldn’t google (a fair number, I play a lot of game jam games) as well as any with pornographic content.

2020 Videogames was originally published on Optimal Prime

#games #review #reviews #videogames #yearly review #cross-posted-from-blog

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wander-over-the-words · 4 years ago

Note

For behind the scenes: 16, 17, 18, 19, and 21, if you’d like 💛💛💛💛

Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors

16. What is your most underrated fic?

Either A Perfect Halloween or Therapy Session, and I feel like that’s because they aren’t Scriddler, which is probably what most people come to me for. Personally, I like them a lot cause I like writing Jon and Scarecrow being bastards - and they are massive bastards in the former, while Scarecrow’s the bastard in the latter. Jon is actually being quite nice in that one, all things considered.

17. What fic are you most proud of?

To an extent, I’m proud of any work I produce cause like - wow!! I did that!! And some people liked it!! That’s rad, that’s a good feeling for a content creator to have.

If I have to name some though, cause I can’t pick just one: I’m proud of One Little Push for Jon and Ed’s characterisation at that point in their relationship. Plus, in general, I like how it’s written.

When the Riddler Met the Scarecrow - cause characterising their younger selves is an interesting thing to attempt. They’re baby Rogues at that point, but they have their own victories under their belts. I like to think I made them different from the present enough that one could view that fic as ‘their embarrassing younger selves’ but you can still see where they grew into their current personalities. I like the scene in the cafeteria where they piss each other off just by looking at each other and I like the part where Edward accidentally brought Scarecrow out by scaring the shit out of Jon (which was weird to write when I’ve always had my Jon lacking fear lmao).

All By His Lonesome - despite my mixed feelings toward it nowadays, this was still my first DC fic, back when I had only just discovered the characters. There’s something to be proud of in writing and editing an eighteen page fic in the span of eight hours about characters I kinda only partially knew. Admittedly, their characterisation isn’t to my present standard, things might’ve been a bit different if I’d written it nowadays (e.g. Edward wouldn’t be so obvious in his worry for Jon, Harvey wouldn’t have riled him up so much so easily, Ed wouldn’t have gone out of his way to comfort Harley, Jon is a bit more openly caring than he is nowadays etc.). I’m actually tempted to rewrite it one day with their actual characterisation.

A Perfect Halloween - was a rush job and turned out well. I like reminding my readers that Jon and Scarecrow are in fact bastards and serial killers.

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Oh, boy. This question slightly frustrates me cause most of the scenes I could answer this for haven’t been shown to y’all yet and are just full o’ spoilers. Lemme try to pick something out.

Alright, let’s go with: the entirety of Dr. Branning’s interview with Scarecrow in Therapy Session. That’s one of those scenes in something where you guys, as readers, know something really, really bad is about to happen, but it’s a matter of when it’s going to happen. That was one fic I’ve actually shown someone offline - my mother, to be more precise. I’ve read both this one and A Perfect Halloween to her, and even she - with a complete lack of knowledge of the characters - was going “nonononono” and “Oh my God WHY WOULD YOU” when Branning said Scarecrow could walk around during their interview cause even she knew what a fucking TERRIBLE idea that was.

Hell, she started getting nervous when I described Scarecrow kicking the wheelchair away cause that’s one of those subtle details that says “if he can’t even be gentle with a chair, what makes you think he’ll be gentle with you?”. Scarecrow ain’t a man you wanna be locked in a room with.

That fic was tense as fuck to even write, and all Scarecrow had to do was walk, with the one pause he gave to creep her out. He was the lion circling the zebra, he was the shark circling the swimmer, he was the psychopath circling the psychiatrist. I dragged that out for as long as I could. His footsteps were light enough that Branning couldn’t hear him and I didn’t describe Scarecrow’s body language if Branning couldn’t see him; I left that up to your imaginations.

Y’all knew it was going downhill when she started making him mad.

Then it got to: “She didn’t realise, until she looked up and he never passed her, that Scarecrow had stopped walking. He was standing behind her.” and even I was sitting there like “ah she’s screwed now”.

Honestly, a part of me was tempted to let him kill her, but I spared her, if only to show how Scarecrow likes to make Arkham’s staff quit.

One of my favourite Scarecrow scenes, that one c:

19. Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

Jon and Ed are the easiest cause I’ve had more practise. With Ed, his dialogue is easier cause I immensely enjoy his speech pattern and his mannerisms; I like writing what one might call his ‘quirks’ cause he and I share a mental disorder, so I know where he’s coming from firsthand. Jon is easier to write in terms of getting in his head and exploring his feelings.

I don’t know if I’d say he’s hard to write as much it is that I’m just anxious about writing him, but Batman is intimidating. I feel pressured to get it right. It’s hard to write characters who are smarter than you too (same reason I hate writing riddles for Edward: I fucking suck at them). My Batman is mainly based on BTAS, who famously treated his Rogues with as much respect as he felt they deserved as people, but ya gotta be careful with that cause it’s easy to write Batman being too soft if you wanna go down the route of him helping his Rogues when they’re in bad places. Mine’s a splice of BTAS and ArkhamVerse, so there’s a line ya gotta be careful about crossing.

Also find Catwoman hard, but that’s just cause of lack of practise.

21. What is the one fic that got away?

I’m not one-hundred percent sure what this means, but if it means the same as with people - “that ex ya think about more than you should” - then I guess I gotta bring up that All By His Lonesome was in fact not actually my first Scriddler fic. It was the first that was posted, but not the first planned or written.

The first was a fic about them learning to live together after Jon moves in cause they’re very different people in terms of how they keep their homes (anyone who knows about where Jon lived before moving in with Ed knows what I’m talking about...). I probably got two thirds through before ditching it cause it wasn’t working, which bothered me for ages.

Now, I’m very glad I didn’t finish it cause the plans I had for that fic were...so fucking out of character for Jon and Ed that I would have cringed for days if I acknowledged it nowadays. Its planned sequel was deleted cause of how out of character it was, especially for Jon.

There are plans to revamp that former fic and put it in the WanderVerse tho, so it’s not dead forever. Y’all will see it one day; I’ll let you know which one it is c;

#reply #answering #WanderVerse #Scriddler #Thanks for sending this in!#Sorry I yammered again #semi sentient and tired

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queenjunoking · 4 years ago

Text

Wolf Taming Pt 13 Sasha’s Perspective

CW: Noncon - Shock Collar - Pain - Petplay - Drugs - Kidnapping - Manipulation

Everything hurt.

It felt like I had been hit by a truck. I tried to see where I was but everything was fuzzy and dark. After a few minutes trying to lay still and wishing the pain away, I realized it was dark. I looked to my side and saw the bars. That bitch had put me back in the cage again and turned off the lights. She must be done for the day. Apparently even monsters got tired, not that she had done anything all day but threatened me. It must be really hard work to push a button whenever anyone remotely threatens your ego.

I thought she was just some psychopath, but she’s part of some group. I saw the picture, that poor woman on the same treadmill I was. How could somebody do that to someone? It made me sick to my stomach, we’re people. How could you not feel guilty for doing this.

I couldn’t get the poor woman out of my head, I just kept playing over what that monster kept telling me. I wondered what other stuff her friends did to people. The idea of being forced to run until I collapsed terrified me. Day after day repeating the same routine, only to be locked in something that would take away my senses for weeks until I was forced to obey everything someone else wanted me to do. It was too much to handle. I couldn’t do that.

I heard myself crying before I really realized I was, I wanted to escape from here so badly. I could always feel the weight of this fucking collar around my neck every second I was awake. But I learned I couldn’t even tug on it, last time it hurt me like I never had been before and I lost consciousness. Every second of the day it reminded me where I was, I didn’t get a moment away from it. I knew where I was the second I woke up. I knew it was never coming off as long as I was in here, it was the only power she had over me. I couldn’t do anything with this on. I couldn’t hurt her. I couldn’t even speak without permission. I used the damn litter box just to get a break from it. I didn’t doubt for a second she wouldn’t follow through on her threat. She had followed through on every promise I could think of. As much of a fight I would have put up, even I knew I’d have to give in at some point and I would have done what she told me to do.

This woman was insane. How can you just go from studying to a library to waking up locked in a shock collar? How did she afford any of this? Why did she want me to be a dog? What else was she going to make me do? Would she ever get bored of doing this to me? A thought occurred to me that made my blood run cold. Considering everything that monster was doing to her while she was interested in me, what would she do to me once she got bored? I could only think of the horrible lives those ponies lived. Would she do that to me? Or did she already have something much worse in mind? Was this my life now? Performing for a monster in the hopes I could avoid getting more shocks? Is that all there was? I… had so much going for me.

I tried to stand up and felt a tingle. That bitch had turned on that stupid pet mode again, I was stuck on all fours for the rest of the night. At least she hadn’t turned on the real shock. I took a deep breath, angry at myself for that thought. Not having the shock was nothing to be grateful for. There was nothing here to be grateful for. I should be back in my apartment right now, or practicing or studying. I didn’t know what time it was. For all I knew it had just been a day. A really long day. Or she had drugged me and I had been here for weeks. Time didn’t mean anything, she had drugged me once with that dart gun. She had also made me stay awake for what felt like days while I had to roll move between laying on my front and back or I’d get a shock. I hadn’t gotten any sleep before she showed back up. Why was she doing this? What did she get out of it?

I reached out for the pillow she had placed in the cage and felt… something soft. After a little exploring I realized with some disappointment it was a dog bed big enough for me to fit in. In the bed was a rather large teddy bear. I wanted to feel angry. But I couldn’t. I was so tired and hurt. I wanted to scorn her gifts, but just touching something so soft made me start to cry again and I dragged myself into the bed and hugged the bear.

The idea that someone would lock you away and think they could give you things like this. She thought she was clever, that she had this entire empathic, kind person going. I really think that she believes it. But it's hard to believe someone cares about you when they give you a kind smile when they shock you. I don’t think she was capable of understanding that though. She had already tipped her hand and shown that crueler, much more sadistic smile when she hurt me.

I heard a door creak open. She was back. Was she going to make me get up already? I felt so tired, it felt like days since I slept. I had already overdone it on the treadmill before she did… that to me.

“Sasha? Are you awake?” I hated her voice. It was so light and cheerful, it didn’t suit who she really was. Nothing about her did. She was a monster walking around in someone’s skin. I wanted to hide from her, but there was nowhere to hide. I was in a cage in the middle of the room, she could circle me like a shark. Everything was designed to give me as little privacy as possible. Since I couldn’t hide I tried to escape in my own way, I pretended to be asleep.

“Sasha, are you ok?” Another round of the fake concern. I hated hearing her say that name. It wasn’t mine. I didn’t want it. But she wouldn’t stop hurting me until I told her it was. Silly me, I must have forgotten. She had taken so much from me. I gave up covering myself when I realized she wasn’t going to give me clothes. I learned tricks to get something other than dog food. I gave up my dignity for the litter box. But she would never take my name away from me. It was the only thing that was mine she couldn’t truly take away.

I heard her footsteps as she approached. It could be so easy to just… grab her. Grab her leg and pull to knock her over. Grab her arm and pull to try and get the phone out of her hand. Grab her shirt and yank her towards the bars to get her to hit her head, making her too dazed to do anything.

But I knew what she would do to me. Or, at least I knew what she had done to me for doing something so much less to her. What would she do to me if I hurt her but couldn’t finish overpowering her. She kept putting herself in danger around me, acting like I was a wild animal she was trying to appease. But I saw through her, she was begging me to do anything to her so she could justify hurting me. It was the pattern I noticed. I could say bad things to her and she wouldn’t do anything to me. At least not right away. She needed to justify why the punishment was needed.

“Sasha, I know you’re awake.” My eyes shot open, I didn’t realize she was right next to me. I felt a sting in my arm then a warmness started to flow through my body.

My heart started to speed up thinking of what she just did to me. But then I felt myself calming down. I’ve never put more effort into keeping my eyes open in my life.

“Why?” It was all I could manage to say, I felt so heavy.

“You had a tough day and you need rest. That’s to make sure you get it. It’s just a sleep aid, you’ll be alright sweetheart. I promise.” Her words were reassuring to me and I hated that. She stuck me with a needle and I felt reassured just because she said it wasn’t poison.

“Q…...ques...tion?” It was so hard to talk now.

I felt a hand start to stroke my hair. “Questions are for good girls Sasha, you weren’t very good at the end of today. You can try again tomorrow.”

I felt more tears start to fall, all of that and I didn’t even earn the privilege to ask a question. Nothing about this was fair. I didn’t deserve this. Why me? That’s all I wanted to know right now.

“Goodnight Sasha. You’re such a good girl at heart. I love you.” Her disgustingly sympathetic tone worming its way into my head as I lost the ability to hold my eyes open any longer.

The last things I felt were the tears rolling down my cheek while the monster petted me as I retreated into the last safe sanctuary I had from her.

Sleep.

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voidpants · 5 years ago

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“Wanna go out sometime?” convin, post-canon, pre-relationship?

heyyyyyyyyyy nonnie sorry this is so late i totally forgot about it orz

"I respect you, Gavin, which is why I'm going to tell you what's going to happen here, and just expect you to take the fucking order without whining."

"Wow, not even gonna let me in the fucking door before you lay some shit on me, huh."

"Shut the fuck up, kid."

"Fuck you too, Jeff."

"The RK800 is coming back. Passed his exams, and he starts here next week as a uniformed rookie."

"No."

"Yes. I'm making him your problem."

"Jeff, no."

"Gavin. Not to say anything that'll further inflate the fucking blimp you call a head, but you're my best guy. Any other uniform or detective I could put him with, he'd run circles around. It'd be fucking embarrassing for everyone involved, but honestly? Mostly for me. So. He's all yours. Try not to get your ass beat again."

"God, I fucking hate you."

"Noted, Detective."

---

The thing is, despite the... everything about the entire fucking situation, working with Connor is good.

In the past, Gavin's never remained partnered for very long.

According to his former partners, it's because Gavin is an arrogant, uncompromising sociopath, and that's... a fair assessment of his character, probably.

But the real problem has always been that they just couldn't keep up.

See, Gavin's good at his job. He's great at his job. Gavin is a goddamn fucking genius, and he's got the single minded dedication to apply that genius for as long and as hard as he needs to to see results.

Gavin doesn't have fucking time for people who either can't follow the way his mind works, or aren't committed enough to the job to do whatever it takes to see a case closed.

But Connor...

Connor keeps up. Gavin never has to explain his leaps in logic, because Connor just fucking sees. He's just right there, building off them as if they were his own, expecting Gavin to follow his own leaps like it's just a given.

And as far as dedication goes, he's as obsessively laser focused as Gavin could possibly ask for.

It's the most satisfying professional relationship Gavin's ever had in his life.

Now if they could just interact outside of the context of an active case without a repeat of the evidence locker looming in the distance, that would be great.

---

Gavin's hiding in the break room.

It's a pretty shit place to hide, admittedly, what with the full view from the bullpen, and no furniture big enough to give him any sort of cover.

But it has the coffeemaker, so it's still preferable to literally any other hiding place in the building.

Besides, it's not as if anyone is going to come look for him in here, even if everyone in the precinct is one hundred percent aware of where he is.

He really shouldn't have blown up. He can admit that, privately, to himself, in his own head, where the thought can stay and get quarantined and die a fiery death.

Connor had just been trying to be friendly. Probably. Talking about something that wasn't the latest stiff. He wouldn't even have needed to do any fucking scans to know about Gavin's cats, it's not as if Gavin doesn't have his moments of being an obnoxious pet owner. But Connor had just opened his mouth, with that... stupid fucking smile on his face, and asked about their breeds, and that itch that's always under Gavin's skin when the android looks at him had just fucking snapped into an almost painful buzzing, and then he'd started yelling.

At least he hadn't thrown any punches, thank fucking God. He'd been sorely fucking tempted once Connor had started replying to whatever dumb shit was spilling from Gavin's mouth, unflinchingly level and reasonable. But then he'd said some stupid shit about Connor deviating, factory settings, and police work, like a fucking jackass, and Connor's mouth had gone tight and he had leaned in, LED flickering from yellow to red, and told him: "Walk away, Gavin."

And it didn't calm the crawling in his skin, but at least it made him painfully aware of how he was one wrong move away from getting curb stomped in a reasonably well-trafficked corridor, in view of at least two security cameras.

So he'd stormed off to the break room to attempt to drown himself in a coffee cup and regret never learning how to fake being a functioning human adult for even five minutes.

He wishes he’d had his tablet on him so he could have done some paperwork while mainlining his coffee; he feels awkward sitting around wasting time when there are reports waiting to be meticulously filled out and filed. But fuck if he’s going out to the bullpen before he can be reasonably sure he won’t fucking meltdown as soon as someone looks at him.

Someone clears their throat behind him, and Gavin freezes, because there are a grand total of three people who’d dare, and since Anderson is retired, and Jeff left three hours ago, there’s only one option.

Connor looks… neutral, when Gavin finally manages to turn around. Which means he’s absolutely still pissed.

“Officers Wilkins and Morgan wanted coffee,” he says, not clipped, but definitely not anywhere close to friendly either. “They were both apparently too concerned with your mental state to come get some for themselves. Can I please use the machine?”

“Uh, sure,” Gavin says, eloquently, as he shuffles back to give Connor access.

“Thank you, Detective Reed,” he replies, smiling blandly, and ah shit. He only calls him Detective Reed when he’s angry and planning to be fucking unpleasant about it.

Fuck Gavin’s entire life.

He watches Connor grab two cups and beginning to fix them up with coffee, looking perfectly calm and comfortable, except for the yellow LED at his temple. At least the silence seems to be awkward for both of them.

Gavin needs to fix this. It hurts him deep in his soul to admit it even to himself, but he fucked up, and he needs to actually fix it, instead of just enduring until hopefully Connor gets over it and they start pretending it never happened.

Fuck.

“Uh, about earlier...” he starts, and cringes at how fucking dumb and awkward he sounds.

Connor freezes mid-movement, LED flashing red. It lasts only for a split-second, then he’s calmly stirring sugar into one of the cups again. “Yes?”“I, uh. I… shouldn’t have said that.” God he’s so fucking bad at this. How did two people who talked at others for a living produce this?

This time, the pause in Connor’s movement looks deliberate. He doesn’t speak, and he doesn’t turn, and Gavin assumes that means he’s supposed to keep up his pathetic attempts at groveling.

“I was out of line,” he forces out, trying to remember if he ever learned how to sound genuine. “I’m the last person who should be judging someone for… literally any work related life choices. I just… I don’t know, I was an asshole for no fucking reason.” He thinks he’s going to throw up. “I’m sorry.”

There’s no reply. Connor doesn’t say anything, just keeps thoughtfully fixing up his friends’ coffees, and Gavin feels distantly angry about that, somewhere deep under the rising panic and feverish terror. He fucking hates feelings, who the fuck thought those were a good fucking idea?

He takes a sip of coffee, proud of how his hand isn’t shaking, to stop himself from marching out of the room and up the stairs to throw himself off the fucking roof.

“Do you want to go out sometime, Gavin?”

Gavin doesn’t choke on his coffee, but it’s fucking close. He can’t have heard that correctly. There’s no way. No fucking way. Nuh-uh. Nuh. Uh.

“I’m sorry?”

“Yes, I know, you said that already,” Connor says, turning to smile at him, warmer now, and oooooh, this fucking asshole.

“Don’t get fucking smart with me, you smarmy plastic fuck,” Gavin growls, stepping in to poke Connor in the chest. “What the fuck was that?”

He looks down at where Gavin’s finger is poking him, brushing it away with his hand, then back up to meet Gavin’s eyes, look on his face like he thinks he’s too stupid to live. “It’s a simple question, Gavin. Do you. Want. To go out. Sometime?”

And Gavin doesn’t know how to react, because this situation has just stopped making any sort of sense, so all he can think of to say is “What the fuck?”

And Connor.

Connor.

This plastic motherfucker.

He smirks, running his eyes down Gavin’s body, tongue coming out to wet his lips, looking like a fucking predator and Gavin has never felt so objectified in his life.

“Well,” he says, shrugging, eyes running back up to Gavin’s face, and Gavin is suddenly painfully aware he’s blushing like a dumbass kid in the middle of the department break room. “That does seem like a more productive way to work out our interpersonal tension than antagonizing each other until it comes to blows, considering that I can, and would, snap you like a twig.”

Gavin swallows helplessly, too fucking loud, and Connor grins like a fucking shark.

“Unless that’s what you like, of course,” he says lightly, and Gavin can’t look away from his eyes, dark and warm, and full of promise. “I’d be willing to give it a try in a scenario where I wasn’t being provoked with personal attacks.”

He stays there, in Gavin’s space, for a few moments, waiting, before patting Gavin’s chest. “You can think about it,” he allows, before turning to pick up his coffees. “Come join me in the bullpen when you’re ready,” he throws over his shoulder as he leaves. “We have a case, and you’ve been slacking off for long enough.”

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

#convin #reed800 #gavin reed #connor dbh #connor rk800 #detroit become human #my fic #Anonymous

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calleo-bricriu · 5 years ago

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So, this is some absolute horse shit I thought I'd left in 2018.

You see, these two (justasimplesecretary/fear-in-psychology and wewhoareflawed) were part of a small group, with A being someone I'm 99% sure has an OC whose first name starts with the same letter, who decided they didn't care for a Grindelwald player who went by Miss T.

I have no dog in this race, I've only spoken to Miss T on a couple of occasions and had one short thread. I do, however, have almost 30 years of group RP experience one way or another under my belt and have absolutely no tolerance for people who act like this toward a player they just happen to personally dislike, nor do I think they ought to be allowed their feeling of safety in being anonymous; people like this bank on the fact that nobody wants to “start drama” so they never get called to task in public for their poor public behavior.

Fortunately for me, I realized long ago that that attitude means they just know they can keep getting away with it

But from what I was able to find out from the involved parties they decided they disliked Miss T for reasons along the lines of:

- Refused to let their character Godmode/be more skilled than Grindelwald.

- Refused to ship with their character.

- Got tired of plots where their character always had to be the center of attention or I'd pitch an OOC fit until they relented.

And Miss T eventually got sick of it and cut them off, which is entirely fair.

And they made a "burn blog" which is still up here https://only-good-somethymes.tumblr.com/ Since I don’t trust them not to delete it (they’ve renamed it at least once), the most recent post on that blog was one I’d written specifically after one of that blog’s owners demanded to know what ‘good callout’ vs. a ‘bad callout’ was: https://shark-eat-you-for-lunch.com/post/177429861259/hey-lets-talk-about-callout-posts#_=_ There’s very little reason for me to post the IM logs in which they’re both all giggly about their involvement in this until they realized I wasn’t laughing with them but, I do have those transcripts.

They also started going around sending anonymous messages to people who wrote with Miss T or who followed Miss T saying things like, "You know Miss T is into clopping right?" in some bizarre effort to discredit or embarrass Miss T.

Eventually Miss T deleted one blog and disappeared from Tumblr for awhile because of the harassment; I think they were back for awhile over the winter, but I forget the URL they had

I found out about it because two of the people involved somehow thought I'd find it hilarious; one hinted that she knew who was behind it and the other eventually told me and both were somehow blindsided by the fact that I read them the fucking riot act for their behavior.

But, silly me, I accepted their apology, their "it won't happen again" and what do I see on my dash this afternoon?

The same three bratty children still making the same jokes and behaving in the same way.

I don't know how any of them could still think this kind of thing is okay or makes them look good, and you can best believe I've filled in people I know are mutuals to warn them about the kind of behavior these people have no problem dishing out toward players they decide they don’t like, because they've proven they'll turn on you if you do something they don't like and have also proven that they may also just try to start a targeted campaign of harassment.

Make no mistake, almost 30 years of dealing with group RP that has included people like this has taught me that they will absolutely be nice to your face until you do something they don’t like, at which point their “friendship” will seem to cool and you’ll eventually find out they’re shit talking you to their newest group of friends. That’s a standard MO with roleplayers who think it’s funny to harass or make fun of other roleplayers they don’t like for whatever reason.

If you ever wonder why some people seem to have entirely new friend groups every 6 months while their old group is still active, it’s usually because they behave like this and eventually get asked to leave.

What those who are mutuals with myself and these two choose to do is ultimately up to them, and I’m certainly not going to tell anyone who they can and can’t roleplay with, but I have exactly zero problems in letting people I consider friends know the kind of behavior I experienced when those people were in my RP circles.

People who want to play with matches better be prepared to have a Fandom Old come in carrying napalm until you sit your asses down and either stick to your own private circles or learn to behave like proper adults.

I do not apologize for any part of what I’ve just said; the three of you have proven over and over again that you’re genuinely catty, two faced, nasty little people and I won’t even say I expected that from people who were 16 and 18 at the time, because I know several people in that age range who would look at this and be just as pissed off that someone would think your behavior is acceptable.

And, frankly, I hope Miss T is still around and writing Grindelwald, because their interpretation was great to read outside the threads that felt forced when you brats wanted all parts of the plot to be all about your characters.

I vaguely remember a name they had about two years ago but can’t find it anymore, and I really hope catty little brats like the above didn’t drive them off from writing entirely.

P.S. Pointing out someone’s objectively terrible behavior is not a “hate post” nor is it “starting drama”. If those three didn’t want drama they would have just taken the L and moved on when they had their falling out with Miss T.

#ooc #and I stand by and mean 100% of that #harassment #hp rpc #justasimplesecretary #wewhoareflawed #grow up #it takes a lot to really piss me off but spending months or in this case years continually harassing a player because that player wasn't #willing to put up with your mediocre ass characters and writing and getting whined at if they weren't always the center of attention #is not an invalid reason for cutting someone off #You know how adults respond to someone not wanting to write with them any longer?#by thanking the other person for their time #respecting their wishes to be left alone #and moving on

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deathsdoorman · 5 years ago

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An Undertaker, An Exorcist, And A Vampire Slayer Walk Into A Bar || Alain, Cassie, and Erin

Location: Dell’s Tavern

@corpse--diem @carbrakes-and-stakes

Dell’s was busier than she expected for a Wednesday night. Not crowded, but at least a little over a quarter full last time she looked with a mix of college kids and locals. Not a bad place to be. Last minute nerves aside, Cassie was actually looking forward to tonight’s meet up. Greeting the bartender and ordering a drink while she waited Cassie fished out her wallet, moving to take some cash out but hesitated, “uh, actually can you open up a tab on this?” She pulled her card free and handed it over across the bar. “Thanks,” she added and fidgeted with one of the coasters in front of her, running the corners through her fingers absently. Coming back with her drink and her card the bartender handed them both over and she relaxed a little. Shrugging off her coat and taking a seat on one of the bar stools while she waited she picked up one of the flyers left out on the counter and gave it a quick glance. They were two days early for the live music night. Taking a sip of her drink she put it back into the pile and then glanced towards the door as it opened out, letting a slight draft in and she spotted a familiar face. Putting her Drink down Cassie held her hand up in a small wave in greeting.

It was weird going out on a Wednesday. Then again, it was weird that Erin found herself going out for a drink with friends any night of the week. She couldn’t help but wonder how she’d managed it on the drive here. Part of her isolation was self-induced, but a big part of it was, well, her. When she did things like drive to Dell��s in one of the business’s hearses because her car was in the shop, again, she was reminded of that very quickly. Maybe they’d see what everyone else did. Maybe they wouldn’t. ‘Normal’ wasn’t a term she would attach to either Alain or Cassie--but out their near death experience, that was kind of why she liked them. And God, she could use a drink. She gave Cassie a small wave, a genuine smile crossing her face. “Almost didn’t recognize you. You look different when you’re dry, warm, and fully clothed,” she teased, slipping into the seat beside her. The bartender glanced her way and she ordered a shot of whiskey. “It’s on her,” she grinned, gesturing to Cassie.

Alain hadn’t expected to find Dell’s to be this crowded on a week’s day. His eyes went straight toward a bunch of college kids and he couldn’t help but frown. Loud. So loud, he thought to himself, walking across the room to get to the counter, which is where he expected to find his friends. The word sounded like a foreign one to him. Were they his friend? He barely knew them, right? They barely knew him. They wouldn’t be his friend if they knew him, right? Right. Well, his anxiety had not taken long to show up tonight and so, when he saw the two women standing at the bar, the smile he gave them was quite nervous. He had forgotten that Cassie was supposed to offer and had already taken out his wallet as he asked the bartender for a pint of stout. “Hey, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” he took a heavy breath. Obviously seeing them reminded him of the time well people died, Cassie and Erin almost died, and of the time he lost a finger. He had been fighting crazy shit his whole life and it had to be a damn clam who got a part of him. “I would argue that we look better now than then, but I could be mistaken,” he added after Erin’s comment.

In the minutes before not just one but both of them had turned up for the night Cassie had a brief moment where she half expected it to be the opposite. That took a second to process and then she straightened in her seat and grabbed her drink up from the counter, turning to greet them both properly as they got closer. “I’ve been here all of, uh,” she titled her wrist and glanced down at her watch, “six minutes total, including now,” she reassured. “Right, it’s nice to not be icicle blue and freezing.” She glanced between the three of them as if to measure them up, “safe to say we dry up well,” Cassie joked and gave a nod of agreement to the bartender before he went off to take Erin’s order. “That’s on the tab,” she waved over before they could take Alain’s cash, “it’s all on the tab,” Cassie pointed between to the three of them. “So, are we good here or you want to grab a table?” Cassie glanced back over her shoulder and looked out towards the rest of the bar and spotted it, “or I think there’s a booth free over there if we’re quick,” she pointed. At the same time on the opposite end of the bar from where the three of them were seated was a small crowd of college kids eyeing the same booth.

A small part of Erin felt guilty about having Cassie take up tab, but then she remembered the argument that had led them here. The feeling faded. She sipped on her drink, greeting Alain with a smile. “A little worse for wear, but definitely better,” she teased, her eyes only casting a quick glance to where Alain’s finger used to be. That horrific day came back to her in a flash, and she polished off the shot with a wince. “Table,” Erin nodded, signaling graciously to the bartender for another with her empty glass. “There’s way too many--” As if on cue, one of the many youths circling the bartender like sharks elbowed her. Need she say any more? Scooping up her fresh drink, she beelined it for the one available table left, narrowly outpacing a group of college-age kids just entering the bar. “Got it!” She declared her victory, a bright grin as she settled in. “It’s no giant clam, but I think for today, you can thank me for saving the day today.” She let out a soft, nervous chuckle. Inwardly grimaced. Was that too soon?

“Well, there certainly is improvement here,” no one was freezing or seeing things that would traumatize them for a lifetime, for instance. This was definitely improvement. Alain grabbed his glass from the counter and glanced around for a moment. “Table sounds great,” finding a table on the other hand did not. Well, they could always stay by the counter, although that did not sound like the best way to have a conversation with friends. Before he could say anything else, he watched Erin lead the way and hurrying her pace to beat college kids to it. “Damn, look at that,” he shrugged at Cassie and followed Erin behind. “You are our saviour Erin, truly,” he had seen her glance at his hand and if he could manage to get their attention away from it, he would feel blessed.

As Erin made a homerun for the table ahead, Cassie collected her drink from the counter and grabbed up coat up with her free hand and followed last just after Alain, weaving her way through the oncoming throng. Looked like time was on her side with that one for once and they’d managed to avoid the evening rush. Narrowly avoiding the slosh of wayward beer glasses as she caught the tail end of some discussion about how ‘Deacon’s a total blowhard in stats. Grading on a curve? Dick move, man,’ ouch. She felt her eyebrows raise in commiseration. She didn’t miss those days. “Touchdown,” Cassie clapped as she caught up, “hero of the evening,” she agreed, jokingly as she smiled as she slid into her seat and looked behind her at the now stranded group, “law of the jungle,” she shrugged and turned her attention back. “Anybody got anything like sharp elbows or a cattle prod for when I have to go back up there for round two later?”

Erin could feel the awkward set in not long after they sat. The ‘friend’ word kept getting tossed around, but they truly didn’t know that much about each other. That’s what tonight was for though, wasn’t it? “You’re very welcome,” she laughed, sitting up straight. Cleared her throat, speaking up a little to make her voice heard above the crowd. “I think we owe one to the real hero,” her gaze turned to Alain, her tone more serious. “Not to get sentimental off the bat, but we wouldn’t be here without him.” She held up her glass, nodding. “To Alain--you lost one finger, but you gained two new friends. I sure as hell hope it was worth it,” she laughed.

Alain’s cheek flushed with red a little as the attention turned toward him. Of course, he was glad to have saved the pair standing on the other side of the table, but he had never been used to praise or being the center of people’s attention, and so, he did not like that. “Let’s not get sentimental, please. I would say that it was worth it,” he held up his hand to let them see the state of his hand. The stump that replaced his finger was fully healed now. Fast healing had once again been helpful to him. He raised his glass, “I’d like to thank the clam for this wonderful bonding experience,” glancing toward Cassie, Alain suggested that Erin could be the one to get round two, as she had proven that she could fight college kids any day of the week.

“There’s a place for a little mushiness here,” she looked over at Alain, tapping her fingers against her glass. “Think it’s called for all things considered. I’m grateful for all the non-dying. To Alain,” Cassie echoed and looked over at Alain just in time to see the color rise on his cheeks as they raised their glasses. As he held up his hand, she caught sight of the space where Alain’s finger would have been and quickly looked elsewhere. That looked a lot more healed up than she had expected it to be, but then, she was hardly an expert. A pang of guilt hit then and she took another drink and swallowed it down, “and hey, to new friends,” she said as though it surprised her. The word was still somewhat foreign territory to her but it was nice to say all the same, “hope some point we can make it up to you.” Laughing at Alain’s suggestion she glanced over at Erin, “I got it,” she held her hand up in surrender. She looked back to the bar and then back towards Erin, “so, how long have you been part Roadrunner?” She joked.

“Ah, yes. To the clam,” Erin echoed as she clinked her glass against the others’. It was getting easier to laugh about now, even if the flash of bloody ocean waters echoed in her immediate thoughts. Even more so when she saw the space where the rest of Alain’s finger should have been. “And new friends.” She wondered if they just kept saying it, it’s make it true. Like they hadn’t all done something to goof up these brand new budding relationships at least once already. “Oh, it’s just a gift, I guess,” Erin shrugged, getting the hint. “I’ll be back,” she tapped the table, then slid through the crowd. It took more than a few minutes, but she came back, setting down not only new orders for each, but another round of shots. She sat them in the middle of the table, saying nothing just yet about the impending doom she had purchased for them all. Smirked, glancing over at them as she held the beer bottle to her lips. “So, what did I miss?”

"There's no need for that," he had done what he thought was right and acted on his gut instinct. It was him and only him who got into danger and they had no reason to pay him back for that. He knew that his words wouldn't convince them, still he tried to reassure them on that. "Maybe we wouldn't even be here tonight if it weren't for all of this," he added. You could tell that he was having a hard time saying those words. He had not been used to talk about his feelings as a child and now that he was an experienced adult, feelings were still hard for him to deal with : " I'll just go ahead and say that I'm glad I accepted Erin's invitation and that I met the both of you," this being said, Alain retreated to his Guinness and took a longer sip than usual to get over with all remaining signs of anxiety he had. This was nice, so far. No clams, and no vampires.

“Best stupid last-minute decision I ever made,” Cassie joked with a smile. “I’d prefer a less lethal way of meeting people, but I’ll take it.” As Erin weaved her way through the growing crowd Cassie sat back in her seat and drained the last of her drink to kill off the rest of her nerves. “So,” she straightened in her seat, “how’s everything going with you?” She turned to Alain. “No Pringles can fix-it attempts turn up at the garage?” Was she always this bad at small talk? See, this was why she didn’t do this often…or at all, really except with Morgan. Looking up as Erin made her way back to the table with more of their drinks Cassie eyed the shots in front of them, narrowed her eyes and gave them both an uncertain but amused look, “you know I was joking about the Everclear, right?”

“Oh. I wasn’t,” Erin smirked at the look Cassie was giving her right now. Maybe it was the alcohol already settling in and making itself cozy, but questions were forming and threatening to let loose the longer she sat. Her eyes were on Alain as she slid one of the shots in his direction. “I don’t want to be that person, but I have to ask—before I get too many of these in me, and I make a jackass out of myself,” Erin laughed softly, holding up the shot glass. Cassie was already well aware of this part too. “But I have to ask about the elephant in the room.” She paused, shrugging slightly. “Or I guess, the vampire stabbing shaped elephant in the room,” she emphasized, pretending to send a stake through her own heart.

“No Pringles fixes. People do still put too much faith in duct tape though.” Scoffing, he raised his eyes at the ceiling in despair. Duct tape could not fix everything, especially not something that could potentially harm others if maintained poorly. He took the shot offered to him before he answered Erin’s comment. There was a chance that she wouldn’t like the answers she would get. Alain had always prided himself with being an honest person, and so he would not sugar-coat it. “It’s fair enough to have questions… What do you want to know?” If he could avoid monologuing and talking too much, that could be a good thing for him and hunters around.

Cassie couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the exasperated look Alain shot the ceiling and felt most of the lingering nerves she had lifting. Eyeing the shot, she reached out and dragged it closer to her and sat it in front of her just as Erin finished her mime act. Okay, straight to the point. Do not pass go, do not collect two-hundred dollars. At that Cassie took up the shot, drained it in one and pulled a face before placing it back down and pushing it back out towards the table. “Vampires aren’t real,” she shook her head, “no way.” She held up her hands as it to push back, “I’d have noticed,” she reasoned turning to Alain, half expecting him to just laugh the whole idea off, but no, if anything he didn’t even flinch.

Erin wasn’t sure what to do with that right away, outside of listing off at least ten questions she had for Alain right off the bat. But that would’ve been a little excessive, even she realized that. Before she could pick which one she had first, Cassie had chimed in. She quirked her brow, smirking. “In your line of work, everything is real,” she joked, reaching for her own shot glass, the last one filled on the table. Paused, biting her bottom lip as she thought about it. “Everything. I want to know everything,” Erin started. Part of her felt like this was still some elaborate joke she wasn’t yet in on, but she’d bite. “But first--I want some proof. You can talk vampires until you’re blue in the face, but how am I going to know any of it’s legitimate without proof?” she inquired, as if she had just thrust an impossible task onto Alain, and knocked back her shot.

"So whatever freaky things you cover are real but vampires cannot be real?" Fine example of denial, although he couldn't blame them for believing only in things they had seen. Leaning his back against his seat, he sighed heavily. Alain had enough weird scars to prove his point, but would that even persuade them both ? He wrinkled his nose as he thought of a way to prove his point without dragging them to the nearest cemetery. "Alright, so I'll start with the obvious : Twilight got it all wrong and is to blame for an increase in stupid teenage vampires," he said it as if he was giving them the weather's forecast. "There are several types of vampires and the most common is not the Dracula kind," if he had known, he would have invited them over and they could have spent the whole night looking at old books on the matter. "I absolutely do not recommend walking in cemeteries at night, although Erin, you already heard that one."

Cassie shot the two of them a half-hearted glare. “Yeah, okay so you have me there,” she admitted, “ghosts? Yes. Witches? Sure, but Vampires? Most of the ones that claimed to be, it was just some weird kink thing,” she scrunched her face in distaste, “so it was a hard pass, thanks.” She hated how much sense this was making. “If they are then I’m going to have to start carrying a--wait, teenage vampires?” Whose smartass idea was that? There were too many questions coming all at once. “Tell them to keep their teeth to themselves, we learn that in kindergarten, the hell is their excuse?” She half joked, but the thought of them wandering around without her even registering gave her pause. “So, less Lost Boys more Nosferatu? Great—that’s, right…okay.” She looked back towards Erin, “yeah, you said. Guess that’s another thing to avoid if you don’t want to wander around looking like a walking juice box. How in the hell do you prove something like that? Come on. How do you even get into vampire hunting?”

Erin listened carefully, quiet as they both spoke--Alain explaining away teenage vampires and Dracula, Cassie and her apparent belief in witches. Neither of them making very solid cases for themselves. Letting her chin rest in her palm, she watched and listened, absorbing everything they were saying. “Listen--I half grew up in graveyards. I’ve never seen a single vampire ever. Honestly, it’s where I do most of my night jogging.” She shrugged, dangling the neck of her beer nonchalantly, eyes still narrowed in Alain’s direction. “This doesn’t sound like proof.”

“See, I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a ghost or a witch,” and if he did, then he was not aware that they were practicing witchcraft. “If it makes you feel any better, some people do have a weird kink about vampires, and there’s a place in town where actual vampires will provide,” you could tell from the grimace on his face that he was judging these people, and that he wondered what could have possibly led them to be so stupid. “The worst part is, teenagers turned into vampires have no impulse control whatsoever, and often try to turn their loved ones into vampires, except that it’s not that simple and the loved ones end up looking like feral, terrifying monsters,” he shook his head. Yeah, Twilight really had turned vampire hunting into a gigantic mess. “I could rant all night about this, so I’ll stop here and reply to your next question.” He had to be careful. There was nothing he hated more than speaking of his family, and so he’d make sure that no questions would be asked about them. “I was born a hunter, with special abilities. For instance, I can see in the dark, it’s very handy. Anyway, I was trained by my family, and when you people learned how to solve 2+2, I was learning how to kill a vampire.” He took a sip of his beer then rubbed his cheek. Being honest was nice, but would he walk out of here with Erin and Cassie as his friends?

“See?” she pointed to Alain, “like I said Erin, hanging around graveyards; really great way to get murdered,” or possessed she added mentally. Cassie half tipped her glass in a ‘you’re welcome gesture’ at the lack of ghosts, but quickly stopped herself and took a sip instead. Judging by the reaction maybe Blanche had it right. Maybe she should’ve just kept her mouth shut. Much as she wanted to, you couldn’t trust people, not completely. Not with that. She slumped back in her seat, arms outstretched with her drink, unsure what to do with her hands. Unsure where to even start with any of this information. She gave Alain a twin judgemental reaction and then shook it off, “okay, so I’ve dodged hanging out with Lestat a few times. Nice save, but good to know. Know anywhere that sells holy water wholesale?” She asked, half joking. “Does that even work? I knew there was something with you, but--” Nevermind any of that, what kind of parent lets their kid into something like that? All her parents gave her was unspoken resentment and some quality suppression skills, but that? That was something else if it was true. “The hell were your parents?” Cassie blurted, “who trains a kid with this stuff?”

So Alain had been in a cult, Erin realized as his story went on. That was the only way to explain it. Especially if he had been trained at a young age to believe all of this. Trained to fight at such a young age, at that. There’d been rumors about these kinds of things in town, but she hadn’t really put too much thought into it. “Have you… ever actually staked a vampire?” Erin asked, her curiosity taking a different tone from Cassie’s holy water jokes. She felt the alcohol settling into her bloodstream--her cheeks were warming up and she felt a little braver now. “I’ve never had a decedent come across my table with a hole in their heart that wasn’t from some sort of genetic heart disorder. What happens when you… you know.” She made a fist, imitating a stabbing motion again, this time pretending to drive a wooden stake over where Cassie’s heart should be. “Do they really just go… poof?”

“Yeah, you gotta stop jogging through cemeteries at night, if that was not a joke,” he frowned, clearly disapproving with that. “Although one could say you never ran into one because I’m that good,” Alain shrugged, raising his hands as if to say : you can’t prove that I’m wrong. “It works,” he paused, “if you actually want some, I can always give you a bottle of that, although a crucifix is something you can keep longer,” scratching at his forehead, he fell silent for a moment, watching them process what he had said from over the rim of his glass. “Don’t hate me, but I only use a stake if I don’t have a choice,” he gestured toward his neck with the edge of his hand as if to mime a beheading, and looked away from the pair. Yep, not a good look. Maybe he could have proposed to be getting the next round. That would have been the perfect time to flee. “They turn to dust. It gets everywhere and it’s gross,” he had deliberately ignored Cassie’s questions about his family and hoped that she would not notice.

Giving Erin a fleeting look as she mimed staking her and turned her attention back to Alain, catching onto the gesture he was making. Right, okay. No Van Helsing style stake and a hammer stuff then. “Might just take you up on that,” she nodded slowly. Short, sharp and straight to the point. “One way of doing it,” she replied eventually, straining her neck subconsciously. “Quick I guess,” That last comment made her do a double take at herself. What the hell was she saying? She drained another quarter of her drink. “I don’t hate you,” she scrunched her face at the idea, “—that’s not, let’s nip that in the bud.” She didn’t know him enough to hate him. That was the whole point of this, to get to know people. Even then it was hard to despite it all. “Guess that answers that question; explaining that kind of thing to cops. How many of them are there out there?--How many of you are there?” Cassie asked after a beat. “Are you the only one here?”

Erin’s eyes popped wide open at Alain’s subtle gesture. Just cut the heads right off. Okay. She couldn’t remember any decedents she had to sew back together recently, but she also wasn’t the only funeral director in all of White Crest. She’d have to put her feelers out there, see what she could find. “I don’t hate you, no,” Erin echoed Cassie’s words, nodding her head at her reasoning. This was a lot to wrap her head around, almost as much as Nora shapeshifting into a bear right in front of her eyes. But that doubt still nagged at her, as sincere as Alain seemed to be. That sincerity could very well be the years of thorough brainwashing. She tacked on another question to add to Cassie’s pile. “Can you do anything outside of…” she lowered her voice, glancing around, leaning closer towards Alain. “You know, beheading or staking that we can see?” She asked, hopeful. “I--I believe you. I just--I’m the kind of person, who… you know. Needs proof.” Seemed like a reasonable ask, right?

Alain sighed. He was not usually a very talkative person, and quite clearly had not had enough drinks to handle so many questions. He smiled politely and picked up empty bottles and glasses. “I’ll be back in a few with round 3,” he excused himself and headed to the bar. He usually kept these things to himself, but for once, he felt like being honest might not end up in a total disaster. He glanced at the two women from the bar counter, wondering what it was they might be talking about now. Coming back to the table, he distributed the drinks and having switched beer for liquor, took a sip of whiskey before he resumed his story. “I cannot give you a number, but they outnumber hunters, by far.” It made him feel a bit better to hear them declare that they had no bad feelings about him, still he couldn’t have blamed them if they did. “Well, I’m definitely not bringing you to the cemetery to show you that,” he scoffed. He too had lowered his voice. Now what could he do to prove her that he was not your regular person. “I mean I did say that I could see things in pitch dark nights. But, I also happen to be a bit stronger than your usual person. I could probably lift you up my head with one hand.”

So, Erin believed him now? What changed her mind? Cassie tilted her head at her in curiosity at that for a second and watched as Alain got up and disappeared through the throng of people up by the bar. “But…tab,” she said ineffectually at their retreating form. Maybe he just needed a breather, she couldn’t blame him for that. The only thing missing here was an interrogation lamp. “Guess I was wrong about a lot of things,” she said eventually. The more she thought about it the more questions came to mind. Were there vampire ghosts? Did they exist? None of them had ever tried to bite her, how would she even know? Or did they go gently into that good night and that was that? Ashes to ashes. She had no idea. She wiped the condensation from her now empty glass on her jeans and gave Alain a small smile as he came back with another round. “Okay, but like what,” Cassie reasoned, “like how exactly do you prove that,” she shrugged. “I could go flip a circuit breaker in here,” she gestured at the lights, “see if he can find us in the dark?” She joked and then she caught onto Alain’s suggestion, “or that would work.”

Erin watched him go, trying to figure out if he needed time to think about his next answers, or if he truly just needed a breather. She had to chill out with the questions, she knew that. But how could someone not have questions when presented with such a subject? “Maybe we both are,” Erin glanced at Cassie. She could be wrong, sure. But she wasn’t convinced. Not yet. She took the drink graciously, trying to think of proof, but she didn’t know enough about Alain’s alleged career path to pin anything down. Until—oh. She laughed at the proposition, sitting back in her seat, thinking it was a joke. “Are you kidding? I’m like 140lbs…” she trailed off as if she had more of an argument, but honestly? “Do it,” she nodded, tipping her drink towards Alain. “If you can lift me above your head, then I’ll believe you.” This oughta be good.

Alain knew that even if he looked fit, he did not look can-lift-a-human-above-his-head fit and so if there was an easy way to prove his point, it had to be be this, or the more traumatic option of finding a vampire, and killing them as an example. The two women had had their share of trauma for a lifetime anyway. “Absolutely, there’s too much light in here anyways” he scoffed at that suggestion, “but then they’ll kick us out,” so no, maybe not a great idea. And it seemed that Erin was sold on his proposition and wouldn’t take anything else as proof now. “Wow, a whole 140 lbs, how am I gonna possibly lift that,” he covered and rubbed his eyes for a moment, feeling the first effects of alcohol. “Am I really doing that circus number here?” He raised an eyebrow. Not that the people around them where paying too much attention to their table, but they probably would if they saw Erin above human level.

They were serious she was amused to discover, but neither of them had actually moved to try. “Okay, this I have to see,” not even as proof, just for the hell of it. At that Cassie took her drink, got up from her seat and stood up beside the table to give them some room as a challenge. She gave them an ‘all yours’ gesture and took another step back, crossing one arm over and cradling her drink in another. “Anybody says anything we just tell them you’re training for Ninja Warrior or WWE,” she shrugged it off. “Either that or I just glare them to death,” she added like it was obvious, “I’ve got you covered,” she tilted her glass and added in support as she smirked, raising her glass to take another drink.

Oh, was this happening? Erin took a long sip of her beer, nearly finishing it, before standing up in front of her chair. She waved off the impending opinions of the drunk college kids scattered around them. “They’re drunk, their friends wouldn’t believe them anyway,” she smirked, holding out her arms at her side. “Knew I could count on you, Cassie,” she pointed towards her, growing bolder, laughing harder the longer this went on. This was happening, right? Standing up made the world a bit wobblier than it had been just before, but this was a thing that was maybe about to happen. “We’ve gotta give them something to talk about first,” Erin said as she gave Alain a gentle nudge, urging him on. Her grin grew wider and she glanced between Cassie and Alain, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Where do you want me?”

"Well," Alain pursed his lips and wrinkled his nose for an instant, thinking. "You could stand on my hand," he extended his hand at knee height, "and I lift you up, but you'll probably fall on your face." Unless she was secretly a gymnast, Erin, who happened to have been drinking a few drinks already would end up hurting herself, and no one wanted that. "Cassie, I have clients in that room, we're not telling them I'm a WWE fighter," he laughed at her next suggestion : "Damn, I almost forgot about your deadly weapon. I can't believe I didn't trigger it yet," he looked away, as Erin nudged him, requiring his attention. Yeah, she would totally fall if he lifted her up like that. "Sit on your chair, hold on to it and I'll lift you up. We just have to mind the ceiling." Although considering they were the same height, the ceiling would be safe, and so would be Erin's head. He too, must not have been exactly sober, to even suggest this idea in the first place.

“With great glare comes great responsibility,” Cassie gave a solemn nod, fighting a smirk towards them. “I have your back. Also, hey, it’s an excellent cover story you could pull it off.” She looked over at Alain and fought to keep a straight face, “you’d be The Mechanic, or something…I don’t know,” she waved it off. “I don’t watch the show. Better than Clark Kent, at least that’s believable.” She watched as Alain and Erin weighted up their options, “just keep hold of the sides and you’re good,” she mimed gripping the chair and then turned to Alain, “you’re on. Let’s go. I’m keeping watch, we’re good,” as if to prove that point she glanced quickly around them. Everybody else were in their own bubbles including a table of college kids across from them attempting to do some kind of bar tricks with a straw and a quarter and failing miserably and turned back to the table.

“If they think you’re a wrestler, you’ll probably get more clients. Just saying.” Erin interjected, tossing back the last of her beer. She couldn’t see this ending anywhere else but with her on the floor, and by God, she’d be as. Umm as possible for that drop. Chair. Erin nodded, sitting right back down, scooting away from the table just a bit. “Roger,” she said with a salute. “You’ll catch me when he drops me, right?” She teased, turning to Cassie, who was ready as both a spectator and a watchman. Gripping the sides of the chair, Erin glanced up, thankful the ceilings were high. Who was she kidding? She’d never reach it, but it was fun to picture. Her heart was already starting to be a little faster. “Ready when you are, boss!”

“...” He pursed his lips in disapproval of Cassie’s naming skills, and shook his head to make sure she understood how bad The mechanic would be, for a fighter’s name. “Ok, here we go,” he laid his hand flat under her chair, making sure it was right in the center before he started lifting it up, pausing as he reached his shoulder height, before he held her, as promised, above his head. “Are you okay up there,” he glanced up at Erin with a genuine smile on his face, one you too rarely saw. Now he wondered what she would do with her ultimate proof that he was not your regular human being. Alain had troubles figuring how this, of all things, was an actual proof of him being a hunter, but he was happy not to take them to the cemetery for a demonstration.

“Never said it was a good name,” Cassie shot Alain a half-hearted glare. “I got it,” she offered to Erin and glanced up to gauge the ceiling height and down to the floor and nodded, mouth quirking as she weighed it up. “I mean I’ll definitely break your fall either way,” she joked and put her drink back on the table as if just in case. She fell silent as she watched Alain raise Erin like he was lifting a plate and held out longer than seemed physically possible. He made it look effortless almost. A chorus of cries and a ‘what the fuck man?’ snapped her attention back over to the group of college kids. Cassie turned to check and relaxed after seeing they were mostly wearing their drinks now. The straws and glasses clattered and rolled around the table while they scrambled for napkins. Looks like they’d missed the actual bar trick happening right beside them. “Uh Erin?” She asked once she turned back and processed the scene,“how you doing up there? How’s the weather?”

Erin was all too smug when Alain set his hand under the chair, but that smirk vanished the second her feet left the floor. Fear and adrenaline choked her as she was suddenly viewing the bar from a bird’s eye view, gripping the chair for all she was worth. “Holy—“ was all she managed before a laugh ripped through her, hearty and loud, and she tried desperately not to wobble should Alain drop her like an unbalanced dinner plate. She pointed to the chair, staring at Cassie as if to say Can you believe this? “This is crazy! How—what—Okay, okay!” She tried to stay still, but her legs dangled unceremoniously in the air. “Put me down, put me down!”

“Good. It’s not,” Alain smiled back at Cassie as she glared at him. His attention was disturbed by the noisy students for a second, although his hand did not budge, and when he glanced back at Erin, he could observe that the look on her face had changed, as if she was not sure that this was going to end well. “Hey, don’t move around,” he warned, already lowering his arm. At least she wouldn’t fall from so high, if she did fall. The chair back on the floor, he tilted his head to the side, smiling : “So, do you believe me or not?”

“One second,” Cassie stepped forward again, “we’ve got you,” she reassured as she looked up at Erin. “You’re good, he’s got it.” As Erin was lowered back down, Cassie couldn’t fight the dazed smile that formed. “I…” she struggled for words “…am going to get more drinks,” she drummed her hands on the table. “I need another-we should—I’m gonna go get…” she trailed off, pointing instead back over to the bar and turned to go. She got to the front just as someone walked past with a tray of colourful looking shots. Asking for three of the same she weaved her way back through the throng of people and slid the drinks down on the table. “I knew,” she said, sitting back down. “I called it,” she grinned. “No way you just ‘got lucky’ with that thing,” she pulled a face at the idea, “I knew it—okay well I didn’t know, but I knew something didn’t add up. This is—can you lift a car? What’s the limit?”

Erin sat motionless once her feet were finally touching the ground again, disbelief covering every inch of her face. But she was still laughing, only half hearin Cassie mumbling something about drinks. What more proof could she need? Alain has unnatural strength. Not even the strongest man in the world could have made that look so easy. She had stopped laughing, but her shocked smile never faded even as Cassie returned with more drinks. She took a glass, sitting back and gulping nearly all of it back. If Alain was a vampire hunter, then that meant vampires were a thing. Which sounded as ridiculous as it was, but Cassie was right about the clam. Slowly her eyes grew wide and she gripped the glass in her hand. “Holy shit. I am never jogging in a cemetery at night again,” she said, exasperated. She felt like her whole world had blown apart with that one feat. “Holy shit,” she muttered again, still absorbing it all, laughing now. “You’re a—“ she lowered her voice, “vampire hunter! What the fuck!” She laughed again, harder now, shaking her head, the shock and the alcohol all too clearly mixing at this point.

Alain watched Cassie walk promptly away from Erin and himself. Poor woman was probably overwhelmed with all of this, just like he had been minutes ago. And so he found himself looking at Erin instead, and asking : “Are you ok?” Seeing her shocked expression, he could not repress his laughter, which covered her own easily. He finished his glass of scotch and took one of Cassie’s glasses from her, an eyebrow raised at the fancy colours. “Did a unicorn pee in our glasses?” Still, he had that drink and did not find it to be too bad, if you put aside the color. “I did not get lucky, I mean, obviously,” he pointed at his missing finger. If anything, this clam thing was a disgrace more than it was a success. But then, clams were not his usual prey. “Just so we’re clear, you cannot repeat this,” he paused, “to anyone.” Even if their talkativeness had brought them here, to have what he considered to be a good evening, he doubted that he would be so lucky were they to spread the word. Seriousness aside, Alain laughed again. Watching Erin’s disbelief was, at the moment, too hilarious to keep a straight face. “Erin, it’s okay, you’ll be okay.” He laughed through his nose and scoffed. “No Cassie, I’m not going to be able to lift a car. Not up my head at least.”

Cassie raised the shot just as Alain made the unicorn comment. She hesitated, lowering the glass slightly. “You decide to ask me that right as I’m about to drink it,” she dropped a hand by her side and frowned at Alain with a shake of her head and proceeded to down the shot. Glancing at Alain’s finger as he held it up again there came another pang of guilt. “This doesn’t get past here,” she reassured and gestured between the three of them, “this is as far as this goes. I’m not about to out you,” she put her hands up as if to emphasise and shook off the idea. “What?” She laughed. “Hey somebody had to ask,” she shrugged. “I find out you’re,” she lowered her voice and leaned in "—that you hunt vampires—oh yeah, which exist now so that’s great. That’s awesome,” she added sarcastically. Looked like she might actually owe one or two people an apology now, considering. “Lifting a car wasn’t totally out of the realm of possibility here,” she widened her eyes, “figured it’d made sense. Make your job a lot easier, but noted. Car would be too heavy. Got it. Any other fun tricks apart from the night vision and WWE stuff? How do you even spot one of them if they’re not stepping out of their tomb to paint the town red?”

Erin laughed again, shaking her head. “Don’t worry. No one would believe me if I told them anyway,” she said on a long breath, trying to stifle her nervous giggles. This was not at all how she thought the night would be going. She was catching her breath, watching the other two discuss the car lifting situation. Nodded pointedly. “She’s right. Vampire hunter day-lighting as a car jack is very sneaky,” she said before finishing off the last of whatever kind of mystery shot she’d been handed. Whatever it was, it was sweet. “Oh, yeah,” she reached for her beer to mask the flavor in her mouth. “Super strong? Check. Night vision? Check.” Her eyes widened and she nudged Cassie, nodding. “That’s a good question. Do you have like a spidey sense? Or can you see other things on them that the normal human eye can’t pick up?” She was learning so much tonight.

Alain gave Cassie his most shit-eating grin and laughed at the look on her face. It was very likely that she actually wondered now about unicorns and whether or not they were real. It was a bit of a relief to hear them both declare that they would keep their mouths shut. He did not insist on it more, and instead leaned on his hand, listening to them discuss how useful it would have been for him if he could actually lift cars. “Again, it’s not WWE stuff,” he shook his head in despair. Alain was surprised with Cassie’s question. It was a good question indeed, and one he had not been expecting although when you thought about it, would he have been as good as he was if he had not always been one step ahead of the things he hunted? “I suppose you could compare it to the spidey sense, although I don’t know where a vampire is, if let’s say, I’m in a crowded room,” he pursed his lips to the side, thinking. Eventually the hunter ended up staring blankly at them, his mind crowded with thoughts on what it took to be a hunter.

“It’s a little WWE,” she teased Alain, enjoying the reaction it brought. “Okay, then is Buffy a better comparison?” she grinned. “Journalist,” Cassie smiled at Erin “…Sort of,” she added on second thought and tapped the side of her head, “gotta ask the real questions,” she smirked. So, it didn’t work like sensing ghosts did; there wasn’t the same pins and needles or being dunked in ice water type of experience. Good to know. “So, technically they could be anybody in this bar right now?” Cassie glanced back out to the crowd and made eye contact for a split second with someone and eyed them warily, brushing her hair to the side of her neck facing outwards subconsciously. “Right, that’s—so are they allergic to sunlight or is that a myth? Otherwise I’m going to start wearing a scarf or a neck brace,” she half joked. “Do you go out looking for them every night?”

They could be anybody in this bar? Erin glanced around, suddenly fearful. How was a normal person supposed to tell? Maybe that was the whole point, she supposed. Natural selection, predator versus prey, that whole spiel. She took another sip of her beer, eyeing the wood grain of the table in front of them, listening to Cassie spit out more questions. She wanted to know but at the same time… she really didn’t. “Lot of questions,” she nodded, glancing up at Alain. “I—I think we need more drinks.” She definitely didn’t, but information overload was a thing, and she scurried off to grab more drinks for them all before she could hear more than she wanted to.

“No, Buffy is not a better comparison. Not that I ever watched it but I heard from other vampire hunters that it was awful. She dates a vampire at some point. Who does that?!” There was really no need to romanticize vampires, and Alain did not understand why people found them to be so charming when they were just glorified parasites. Oh no, you could always tell he was not in his normal state when he started getting upset about fictional characters. “Well, I don’t get this feeling right now, but if I did, it could be anyone. He rubbed at his face, leaned back in his chair and nodded at her next question about the sunlight. “Not every night. At least three, four nights a week. Used to be every night, but I don’t do that anymore,” he watched Erin leave the table and looked back at Cassie with a worried look. “Is she okay?”

“Wow, some strong feelings,” Cassie grinned, “I watched it way back,” she admitted with a small shrug. “It’s exactly how you think it is; a vampire with a soul all broody and pensive. It’s like catnip or something. She dated two of them, you’d have loved it,” she smirked at the expression on his face at the mention of any of it. “The sunlight thing is reassuring, definitely a bonus,” she nodded and turned her glass between her hands. She was about to ask about what changed but shot Erin a concerned look as she got up and darted for the bar just before she disappeared into the throng. “Give her a minute,”“ she made a face in apology as she turned back to Alain. “Too much too fast,” and while she still had questions streaming through her mind at one hundred miles per hour for now most of those could go on the back-burner. “It’s a lot to take in.”

This was fine. This was fine. Erin had more unicorn shots in hand when she returned to the table, and the moment’s pause on all the ridiculous vampire talk did it’s job. She set them down, smiling like nothing was wrong. “Alright. I have a proposition for you guys,” she nodded, holding her drink up. “We finish these and we go hit up the diner?” She smiled, standing by the table. It was getting later and the crowd was skewing more youth-oriented by the minute, anyway. “Vampire education over waffles and bacon. What more could anyone want, am I right?”

At the promise of waffles of bacon the shots didn��t make contact with the tabletops before they were snatched up and drained before they could gather condensation. Gathering their things to go they were no sooner out of their seats before the next crowd circled the table and darted to replace them just as they got up to make their way through the now crowded bar. Stepping back outside they made their way towards the welcome invitation of food as the downpour descended. Despite everything there was still one thing that hadn’t changed; when it rained it really poured. In White Crest it just happened to be raining Cat and Dogfish.

#an undertaker an exorcist and a vampire slayer walk into a bar #chatzy #alain #erin #loser's club meeting #//some Gaston lifting of people in their chair one-handed ensues

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