#i was connor of course lol

[canadianlucifer]

detroit become human was such a fun game, i wanna play it again.

yes, I'll play the same "everybody lives and is happy" storyline again for the millionth time, i don't like being mean

[starsapphire]

i will say that like, having actually read the comics, i know that the batfamily are all complex characters with equally complex histories. but a surface level reading of the bats like you would get from a fanfiction or a season of wfa? it will give you basically a bunch of blank slates. the base-level "guy who lost his parents and fights crime" gives you just enough tragedy to pretend the character you made up is also complex. now you have what is essentially a group of white guys you can play with like dolls. i think part of it is that these days people have no desire to actually do more than skim the surface of anything, but part of it is also just that the blander you keep the bats, the easier it is to write your #batfam fanfiction

[darkaac]

Fin.

[nieithryn]

I emerge from my hidey-hole on this fine night to remind y'all that Boba has a little brother that is genetically his son, and yet is a more responsible human being than him (or at least luckier about what he's responsible FOR), and who is the most Normal Fett to have ever Fetted.....except he's a Freeman.

Anyway, random sleep-deprived Liz reminder that Connor Freeman is the most normal, well-adjusted Fett ever, and I love him.

Also reminder he correctly realized that he could hire Boba for 3 credits, and did.

[unstablerk800]

What comes included with you?

Tagged by: stolen 🫣

Tagging: @heretoboogie @hcllcoffin @mxrvelouscreations and anyone else who wants to ��

[replicantapologist]

I dreamed that the Roys and the Shelbys were at war.

[thatstroubling]

with all the polls for Best Character Of going around, here is my handmade tier list of all the TV and game characters I hold dear for different reasons, AKA the blorbos

[warmpants]

I’m not even that emotional about this like yeah. Knew this would have to happen this season. Thought we’d get a few more episodes w him/at least seal the deal w matsson but it makes sense to shake things up instead. But personally I’m celebrating his death!!! Not only is it hilarious but w the way things were going they could have gotten boring or repetitive pretty fast and this gives us a lot of fodder for absolute chaos and destruction moving forward… like, at least as a roman fan, even though I knew that where we left off w him in episode two made sense character wise, I was like, alright, so roman can’t stay away from logan, we’ve heard this song before. Are you changing the melody this time or something? So where we are now is fun. Won’t miss that cunt

[7s3ven]

UNBEARABLE. connor stoll (pjo)

( master list )

IN WHICH… Connor Stoll finds enjoyment on pulling all sorts of pranks on Y/N L/N, the charming daughter of Aphrodite. It isn't until he catches her in a moment of weakness that he begins to sympathize with her.

A/N : I kinda feel like I’m carrying the PJO fandom on my back with all these fics lol. Also, people said I could be cast as Drew from PJO. Y’all should ask for my insta so you can confirm me as Drew 😽

Warnings : not following plot, luke is still here bc I adore him, mentions of luke x y/n here and there (Y/N’s an Aphrodite kid, ofc she’s kissed multiple people 😭)

—

A shrill scream pierced the peaceful silence of Camp Half-Blood, waking up most of its campers. Connor Stoll creeped around the corner with a cheeky grin, holding an empty bucket of pink paint. A moment later, Y/N L/N and Silena Beauregard stormed out of the Aphrodite cabin, covered from head to toe in paint.

"I'm going to kill him!" Y/N shouted, eyebrows furrowed in fury. The paint dripped off her body, staining the green grass below. She scoffed.

The Stoll brothers, more specifically Connor, were at it again with their never-ending pranks. Ever since Y/N arrived at camp, she had been the main victim of Connor's tricks. And she hated it.

"Are you okay?" Y/N asked Silena, all of her anger suddenly simmering away once she looked at her sister. Silena nodded, combing the dried paint out of her black hair. Y/N looked over her shoulder, locking eyes with Travis Stoll. She fumed as she quickly strutted towards the elder brother.

"You," She sternly pointed at Travis and poked his chest, "Get your brother under control before I do it myself!"

Travis lifted his arms in surrender, teasingly grinning. “I think he’d like that.”

"Just make him stop! I am sick and tired of being covered in paint when I wake up! Honestly!" Y/N groaned as she stormed back towards her cabin, ushering Silena inside so they could wash up.

Y/N clicked her tongue as she scrubbed the drying paint off her face. Silena was beside her, drying her now clean face with a warm towel. "I can't stand this any longer." She mumbled, running a brush through her hair. She peeled a patch of paint off, scowling in disgust. "Do you think the paint will harm my skin barrier?"

"Oh, absolutely." Silena quickly nodded her head, "We need to do face masks tonight."

Y/N was getting sick of all the pranks that seemed to target her and only her. "Hey, Y/N, we're gonna get breakfast. You wanna come with?" One of her other siblings poked her head around the corner, in the process of changing into a pink shirt.

"Oh, yeah. I'm coming." Y/N flashed Silena a bright smile before joining the other Aphrodite kids.

"Hey, Y/N, don't you think that Connor is kinda cute?" One of the girls nudged her as Y/N tucked herself between Momona and Jacob. Y/N glanced at Connor, frowning.

"No." She scoffed, something she did often whenever Connor was around. "He keeps pulling pranks on me. I can't even see him half of the time because my eyes are always covered in paint."

“She has a point.” Vivviene said, causing Y/N to frown.

“Of course I do. I’m always right.”

Her siblings laughed, throwing their heads back. “Yeah, right!” Jacob exclaimed, “What about that time you said Luke wasn’t guarding the flag and you were wrong? Because he was and he whooped your ass badly!”

Y/N pushed Jacob, playfully scoffing. “It was one mistake! And I landed a few good shots! He got stuck in the infirmary for a week."

“Yeah. And you were with him because of his beating! The Apollo kids found you making out a few times!” Jacob slung an arm around her shoulder, bellowing out another laugh.

Y/N accidently caught Connor's eye from across the room and her smile faltered. She quickly turned her head, the image of her reflection covered in paint engraved in her mind.

She still had paint stuck under her nails and she picked at it. "I'm getting fed up with him." She mumbled, causing her siblings to groan. Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes. "What?"

"You always talk about him at meals." Jacob said.

"In fact, you're always talking about him. Period." Momona added.

“What if I’m not talking about Connor?” Y/N asked, unknowingly falling into her siblings trap.

"We never mentioned a name.” Vivviene pointed out. Y/N groaned, running a hand through her soft hair. “Maybe he keeps pulling these pranks because he likes you." Vivviene shrugged before eating another spoonful of her food, not noticing how everybody turned their heads to stare wildly at her.

"Excuse me?" Y/N almost choked. "He does not like me. If he did, I don't think he'd be annoying me so much. But I guess boys are naturally annoying." Jacob pursed his lips but nodded in agreement. "Anyway, I have to help some kids with archery practice. I will see all of you later." Y/N grinned at her siblings, teasingly tapping Momona on the nose.

"Oh, great. Tell them to duck when you shoot." Jacob teased.

Y/N rolled her eyes but she still smiled. "Well, I'm off. Bye!" She stood up, gracefully walking away. The kids in the arena seemed to light up as she made her presence known. "Hey kids, great to see you all again! Y'all ready to learn some archery?" The young demigods cheered, excited for their next lesson with the Aphrodite cabin leader instead of the harsh Clarisse.

"So, you just pull the arrow back. As far as you can," Y/N uttered, showing the kids a demonstration. "And once you've got it as far as you can, you just shoot." She let the arrow go, watching as it spiraled through the air and hit bullseye. With that sort of aim, she may as well be an Apollo kid.

The kids clapped while she outstretched her arms, enjoying the applause. "Thank you!" She playfully bowed. "Okay, bows out, arrows ready, and shoot your shot! Quite literally. Aim for the targets over there, not at each other."

The children excitedly grabbed a bow and arrow, trying their best to impress to Y/N. Even if they missed completely, she still clapped and gave them an encouraging pat on the back.

"Great training session guys! I'll see y'all tomorrow!" Y/N waved goodbye to the small group. She was cheerful until she spotted Connor in the distance, conversing with Travis and holding yet another can of paint. She clenched her jaw.

"Connor Stoll, don't you dare use that paint for anything relating to my cabin!" She stormed towards him, sternly pointing at him.

"We weren't planning to but now that you say it, we might." Connor cheekily grinned while Y/N glared at him.

"Stoll, you know I adore everybody in this world... but you are an exception. I loathe you." She poked his chest, "Now, please get rid of the paint in that can."

Connor shrugged. "Okay." He, without a second thought, poured it all over Y/N. For the second time today. She gasped, glowering at Connor.

"You are dead." She said through clenched teeth. "Dead, you nitwit!" She threw a lump of paint at him, hitting him directly in the face. “Honestly.” She scoffed, shaking the paint off. “My skin is going to break out soon and you’ll be to blame!”

She slapped a paint-covered hand on his shoulder before walking off, muttering to herself as she glared at any camper who dared to laugh at her.

“Well, that went smoothly.” Travis said, taking a peek at Connor. “Maybe covering a girl in paint isn’t the best way to woo her.”

“Luke told me it was.”

Travis clicked his tongue, resting a heavy hand on his brother’s back. “… He was messing with you.”

Connor wasn’t a complicated boy. He loved playing pranks but lately Y/N’s reactions had been getting less rewarding. She looked at him like he was the bane of her existence, which he probably was. But how else was he supposed to get her attention?

Without the constant tricks, Y/N would have only ever seen him as another Hermes boy, not worth remembering because her eyes were always on another.

Luke, with his brown-curled hair and a faint scar that ran down his pretty face yet it only elevated his beauty. Connor was pretty sure whatever chemistry and romance between them was done but Luke still snuck glances at Y/N from time to time.

If he was being honest, Connor was a little jealous of his brother. What was his secret to getting Y/N to notice him? Sure, Luke was good-looking but Connor wasn’t lacking in that department either.

"You'll think of something to grab her attention." Travis reassured his brother, nudging him in the ribs, "My advice... plan a picnic. Who knows, it might get you somewhere." The elder Stoll brother tilted his head back, letting out an amused laugh, as he walked away.

Connor clicked his tongue, thinking for a moment. His eyes lit up with mischief as an idea popped into his head. He couldn't guarantee that it was a good one but it's Connor Stoll we're talking about. Y/N woke up with a surprised look on her face. Paint wasn't splattering around her cabin and everybody was sleeping peacefully, not awoken by shrill screams. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. It seemed Connor had finally decided to leave her alone.

She stood up, shivering slightly when her bare feet hit the cold tiles below. She sleepily staggered over to her vanity mirror, peering into it to check her skin as she did everyday. Her appearance was spot on, as usual, except for one thing that made Y/N lose her mind.

Her hair... was pink. It wasn't an ugly type of neon pink but gone were her H/C locks. Y/N tried to hold back a sharp screech but the panic was beginning to set in.

Her half-siblings woke up in alarm.

"My hair..." Y/N seethed to them, barely able to contain her fury, "That little..." She couldn't even find an appropriate insult as her body trembled in anger.

"I'm sure we can wash it out." Silena rushed to Y/N's aid. "It's still early. I'll draw you a bath and we can scrub it out."

Silena was wrong. Two bottles of shampoo later, the color was still vivid.

"I can't go out like this." Y/N said, tugging at the ends of her hair. "They'll laugh at me... and mother, oh gods... she's going to hate me for changing my hair."

"It’s not your fault." Silena comforted her. “I’ll talk to Connor. I’ll make him tell me how to get rid of it. Then we can fix it. Okay?”

Y/N slowly nodded. “This is fine.” She muttered to herself when Silena was long gone. She applied a thin layer of gloss to her lips, soothing herself. “Mother won’t hate you because it was all his doing…” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she looked at her reflection for a second time, she felt her anger flare up again.

As an Aphrodite kid, her appearance was everything. It was her identity and more. "What about personality?" Other campers would ask her and she'd simply laugh. What about beauty? The first thing people will see is how you carry yourself, how you walk, how you look. Personality had nothing to do with first impressions.

Y/N was a beauty among the Aphrodite girls, standing out more than she should. She had always been her mother's favorite. Without her carefully styled H/C hair, who was she? Her hair was an important detail to her and she didn't know what to do now. Would people still love her as they did before? Without her outstanding looks, she was nothing.

Y/N slipped out of her cabin via the window. Everybody was at breakfast so it wasn't hard to avoid people from seeing her hair. Y/N was supposed to be teaching archery again today but she'd rather battle a hellhound than show up with pink hair.

She wandered around the forest, eventually finding herself in front of a small river. A few nymphs sat near the water, giggling together. They spotted Y/N and all gasped in unison, scrambling away except for one who was brave enough to stay.

"I like your hair." She shyly said, coyly kicking her leg into the water. She charmingly smiled before hurrying off after her friends, who laughed at timid behavior.

Y/N fell to her knees in front of the river, staring mindlessly at the cool liquid. She wondered what it found feel like to dunk her head beneath the water, an action she saw the nymphs do quite often.

She didn't know how much time had passed. Maybe it was minutes or hours but Y/N found herself sprawled on a warm rock, basking in the sun. She heard footsteps approach her and she hoped it was Silena. It wasn't. It was Connor instead.

"Oh." Y/N deadpanned, displeased to see him. "It's you." She deeply scowled, turning away.

"You, uh, weren't at breakfast." Connor kicked a nearby rock as he cleared his throat, "And the archery kids were wondering where you were too. Luke had to take over and he may be the best swordsman but he's far from the best archer. He kept missing the target."

Y/N let out a small huff of amusement. "What are you doing here, Connor?" That was the first time she had called him by his first name. She often referred to him as Stoll.

"I wanted to check up on you. Are you... okay?"

"No, Connor, I am not okay!" Y/N suddenly snapped, "Why can't you ever leave me alone? Did I do something to hurt you? I could deal fine with the paint and water buckets but my hair? You dyed my hair pink! My mother loved my H/C hair and now you've ruined it!"

"It won't last forever." Connor retorted, taking a step towards Y/N.

"That doesn't matter!” She screamed, standing up. “My looks are important to me, Connor! I can't pull off pink hair, it doesn't match my skin undertone! I need to be perfect otherwise my mother won’t love me!”

"You can pull anything off, Y/N. You're pretty."

Y/N's eyes momentarily softened as she gazed at him, her cheeks flushing a light hue of pink. "You think I'm pretty? Even... even with messy pink hair, smudged mascara, and fading eyeliner?"

"I think you're always pretty." He answered, “Even when you do those heatless curls that make you look silly. And I think you’re the prettiest when you aren’t trying.”

“Don’t think your compliments will get you off the hook.” Y/N warned, glaring at him.

“Will a star-gazing date at seven get me off the hook?” Connor asked, mischievously grinning.

In turn, Y/N narrowed her eyes. “Maybe.” She uttered before turning around and walking back to camp, concealing her pink hair once more.

PJO TAG LIST : @lostinhisworld @julielightwood @outerbanks-stuff @jennapancake @csifandom @evrybodydies1 @kkrenae @s0ulsniper @annispamz @justanotherkpopstanlol @soraya-09 @simpforeveyone @papichulo120627 @corpsebridenightamare @lilacspider @prettylilsimp @urmomsbananabread @ur-lacol-dsylexic @hottiewifeyyyy @kamiliora @be-bap @finnickodaddy @th0tblckgrl @shoyofroyoyoyo @uniquely-her @imafrkinsimp @syraxesrevenge @ahh-chickens @dracoslovergirl @midnightstar-90 @8812-342 @liv1104 @krkiiz @arialikestea @ch16rles @lizziesliz @maryclx01 @lukecastellandefender @yuminako @coryoskywalker @julielightwood @crybabysbakery @jsbabyyy @liviessun @p3pperm1nttea @angie-esc @purplerose291 @prettylilsimp @10ava01 @froggiesstalks @happy-jj @czennieszn @gisellesprettylies @loveyava @csifandom @luvvfromme @mashiromochi @kamiliora @yorksyree @mqg125 @jamesmackreideswife @niktwazny303 @2hiigh2cry @user021099 @living-in-my-imagination88 @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @randomgurl2326 @niktwazny303 @connorstollfanpage

[the-milk-monarch]

Aquarium Date HCs for Connor and Ralph (separately) I love sea life so I love the idea of pointing out different fish to my fictional crushes :0 (maybe just date hcs in general tho??)

☣︎ hell yeah phish and first dbh ask 👏🙌 Sorry in case they're OOC or I got some fish trivia wrong. I'm not an expert lol btw I love to do the same, just with dog breeds ✌ I wanted to write general dating headcanons as well, but I didn't want the post to be too all over the place, so feel free to ask for more if you liked this rendition of the boys

【 AQUARIUM DATE 】 ☢︎ | gender-neutral reader ☢︎ | Detroit Become Human ☢︎ | Connor | Ralph

【 Connor 】

Since he used to be a working android and didn't have a lot free will while not being a deviant, Connor liked going out with you a lot.

He was never interested in fish, but when you mentioned going to the aquarium he was a bit curious.

"Hm, the aquarium? Yeah, I'd like to go." He said as he looked at you with attentiveness in his eyes.

You were excited to point out each and every fish to him, although you were a bit worried Connor would be able to just- search the internet and get to know everything about them from the start.

He was a grade A android and detective after all.

You hoped he wouldn't get bored of you rambling about it.

As you arrived to the fancy building, Connor took notice of the big glass tunnel.

He didn't comment anything, but you could see that he looked at the fish that swam above his head with curiosity

"That's a nurse shark." You pointed out with a slightly excited smile as you noticed the creature swim behind the glass. Connor looked the way you pointed, raising his brow with calm interest. "Ginglymostoma cirratum. The elasmobranch fish in the family Ginglymostomatidae." He came up with the info on the spot. He knew you were interested in the topic, so he wanted to impress and relate to you. You chuckled softly at his "knowledge" as you lightly punched him in the shoulder. "Hey- I'm supposed to be the fish expert here." You lightheartedly pointed out. "Right. Of course, tell me more then. I'd love to listen." He quickly let you take the scene. You smiled at his mindfulness. "This one's a pilchard. But more commonly known as, well, sardine. The same one you can buy at the market." You came up with more information as you observed Connor listening to you diligently. "It's interesting to actually see them swim in their natural habitat. At least, as natural as you can get." He mentioned lightheartedly. "Yeah. Like, people eat those." You said playfully, watching him smile at your comment.

Time went by quick as you pointed out a lot of fancy and regular fish that appeared near you, excited with each new one that showed on your radar.

Connor loved listening to you express yourself about the thing you were passionate about.

You previously had some worries about him getting bored while you were there, but he never shown a sign of annoyance.

But it couldn't be further from the truth, he was looking at you with never ending curiosity.

Time came for you to visit the touchpool.

"Can you actually touch the fish?" Connor looked at the pool, raising his brow calmly. You chuckled slightly. "Yes. That's what it's for. Go on. Touch the starfish." Connor looked at the water one more time before gently placing his hand inside. You could see the flow of emotions on his face as the invertebrate made contact with his cyberskin. It showed curiosity, then confusion, then a bit of- disgust? He took his hand out slowly, but you could see a bit of aversion in his movement. "Did you not like it?" You asked with a silly smile on your face. "It was- interesting. But i'd rather not touch it again." He commented with fake professionalism, trying to hide his distaste towards the feeling. It made you giggle. "Really? That bad? Aren't you used to touching dead bodies and stuff?" You asked amused. "I am. But that's different. Somehow, this creature seems to- somehow get me. In a bad way." He explained. The fact that Connor, the android who was used to far much worse things than you could survive through, was disgusted by the little starfish made you giggle. "Alright, you don't gotta touch it. But I'll tell you some interesting facts about it instead." You suggested, smiling at him. "Yeah, that sounds good." The corners of his lips turned up as he reciprocated the calm smile.

Connor spent rest of the day with you talking his ear off, but he didn't mind in the slightest, and even asked you for elaboration and more facts on some fish he found interesting with.

He reminisces the trip with you there very fondly, although he gets a bit annoyed when you sometimes tease him about the starfish incident.

In a lighthearted way of course.

【 Ralph 】

He was a bit hesitant to go somewhere where there's a lot of people at first.

His fear of humans still persisted, but it was greatly lessened when he got you in your life.

Although he's still shy and a bit anxious in public.

Nonetheless, when you told him what an aquarium is, he was a bit curious.

You reassured him that if anything happens, you will leave.

He nodded a bit unsure, but he trusted you'd make the right call, so he agreed.

He was very fidgety and anxious at first, but his demeanor changed once he saw the colorful creatures.

Ralph was never in a place with so many different kinds of fish before!

He was probably even more excited than you when he got into the zone.

You tried to pick the rooms with less or zero people around so Ralph would feel more comfortable.

But after he got mesmerized by the fishies, his fear was kinda skimmed over.

He did get scared by a moray eel though.

"Ralph does not like that fish!" He pointed out, upset at the scary monster behind the glass. You laughed softly. "It's a moray eel." "Ralph does not like moray eels." He repeated with a frown, although he was still slightly curious about it. In like a car-crash type of way. You looked around the tank, wanting to find some "nicer" fish to show him. "How about this one?" You pointed out at the sea horse. He looked at it with interest, tilting his head a little, which you thought was very adorable. "Hm... Ralph likes this one better." He said with conviction with made you chuckle slightly. "The males actually carry the eggs." You came up with a random trivia about them. It was actually a decently known fact about them, but Ralph being Ralph obviously didn't know it. "Huh?" He tilted his head once more. "It's to ensure their survival. Both mom and dad work together." You pointed out some more nerdy facts with a smile as you observed his reaction. "Hm... Ralph thinks the seahorses are nice." He came up to the glass, putting his hands on it to get a better view. "And interesting!"

After he got a bit more comfortable being t the aquarium, he would run around the place, following the fishes that swam above his head in the tunnel and ask you about them.

"What's that fish called? And that? And those small ones? Oh, what about that big one!" He pointed out lots of different types, making you a bit lost with answering as his questions were so quickly coming.

He's the type to just- poke the glass.

He's curious, you can't blame him.

He'll stop if you tell him to, though.

If there's a petting pool he must see it.

Tell him how to interact with it beforehand though, as he might get a bit- rough with his touches.

"Ralph put that stingray down!" You were horrified when you noticed him holding the poor creature by the tail. He flinched and dropped it back into the water. "Ralph is sorry- Ralph was just curious-" He said apologetically, putting hands closer to his chest in a nervous manner. "It's- It's okay Ralph, you can try just- petting it. Like that." You reached out your hand to touch the stingray that was swimming by. Ralph looked at you and tried to do the same. "O-okay, Ralph will try." He giggled when his sensors felt the skin of the animal brush against his fingers.

You didn't know what to expect at the aquarium, whether Ralph would like it at all, but you were positively surprised when he wanted to stick around more, even after the workers told you it's gonna close soon.

Overall, he was very excited, and wouldn't mind going there again.

Please tell him more fish facts at home.

[gogogodzilla]

Um I was wondering if you could write smut about connor and about if he can vibrate if yk what i mean cause i feel like im not the only person that thinks that androids can vibrate. please and thank you

Tease || Connor (RK800)

Summary: Connor can't wait until you get home.

Note Pt. 2: This is a spiritual epilogue of my completed Connor fanfic, Criminal Analysis!

Warnings: smut (obviously lol), afab reader, oral (reader receiving), fingering (connor has vibrating fingers), semi-public sex

{Masterlist}

You knew what you were doing— you were wearing those pants Connor liked. Really liked. 

Of course, you had another reason to be wearing them other than riling him up. You knew that you’d be called into court eventually, that’s part of being a forensic psychologist, after all. 

It all started that morning. You got to sleep in a little due to court and you relished the few extra moments of unconsciousness. 

However, those moments lost their sweetness when you felt the cold, empty space beside you in bed. You blindly swatted the other side of the bed, hoping that if you reached just a little bit further you’d find your lover. He’d bring your groggy form into his embrace, and lull you back into a dreamless sleep. 

Your grasps came up empty and you rolled onto your back with a huff. The bedroom door opened with a click, and soft footsteps echoed throughout the room. You peeked open an eye and struggled to fight the grin that appeared at the sight of your love.

Connor’s hair was neat as always, but he had exchanged his Cyberlife jacket with a normal suit jacket. It was a refreshing change. 

Connor neared your side of the bed, and your grin grew. He bent down and pressed a soft, slow kiss to your temple and ran his fingers through your hair, smoothing out some of the tangles.  

He slowly peppered kisses down your face, moving from your forehead, down to the space between your eyebrows, to the tip of your nose, and, finally, your lips.

You didn’t hesitate to deepen the kiss, the ache for him already growing. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged him towards you. 

Connor knew better than to fall into your trap, especially when he was running late. He placed a hand beside your head to stop himself from coming any closer. That didn’t stop you from trying, though.

“I have to go,” he whispered as he gently pulled away. 

You sighed dreamily as you sat up, “You should’ve woken me up sooner.” 

“If we started,” Connor purred as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, “we wouldn’t be able to stop.” 

You hummed in response as you slowly trailed your fingers up his thigh. He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, but you just grinned. 

You settled for resting your hands on his belt buckle, “You can afford to be a few minutes late.” 

Your argument was flawed, you knew that. Connor would rather cut off his own foot than be late. But, you also knew that you could be very persuasive. 

Connor pried your hand from his belt buckle and gave you a placating smile, “I’ll be home as soon as I can.” 

You let out a huff as you threw yourself back on the bed with a groan. You’re lucky you didn’t crack your head on the headboard, but you didn’t really care at the moment. 

Connor bent over and gave you a final kiss, whispering an ‘I love you’ against your lips. It was almost like you were Snow White, and he was your prince charming. Although, the only thing he’d awoken was a deep need throbbing between your legs. And then he was out the door. 

You set your plan into motion almost immediately. You felt a bit giddy at the thought of Connor getting all hot and bothered just by the sight of you. Especially, if he wouldn’t get to touch you until later that night. 

Your heart raced as you pushed open the glass door to the precinct. Your shoes clicked across the tile floor as you made your way through the turnstile and to your desk. 

You ignored Connor’s eyes searing a hole in your back as you bent down slightly and slowly put the files you came for in your bag. 

A low whistle sounded behind you, “Damn, sweetheart, what’re you all dressed up for?” Gavin called as he made his way to his desk, steaming mug clutched in his hand. 

You rolled your eyes and fought off a grin. Gavin’s shameless flirting was playing right into your plan. 

“If you must know,” you straightened and placed your hands on your hips, “some of us actually have to do our jobs.”

Gavin sat down and leaned back in his chair, “Very funny.” 

You went back to your task, pretending to look in one of the drawers for something, making sure to give Connor a very good view. 

“I think your plastic boy toy is malfunctioning,” Gavin snickered, and you stopped your fake search and looked up at Gavin. “He just practically ran to the bathroom.” 

“I’ll go check on him,” you muttered as you closed the drawer to your desk. 

Gavin put his feet up on his desk and sent you one of his blinks that’s meant to be a wink, “Yeah, you go ahead and check on him.”

You flushed as you turned away, your hurried steps echoing as you made your way to the bathroom. Gavin wasn’t stupid. Hell, you’d done the same thing when he’d pissed you off when you were dating. 

Old habits died hard.

The door to the men’s bathroom silently shut behind you, and luckily only one stall was occupied. You locked the bathroom door with a click and sauntered over to the stall which contained the object of your desires. Well, more like the person of your desires.

“Connor,” you called out as you came to a stop in front of the stall door. A slight grin graced your features as you waited for him to answer. 

The door opened in a flash, and you were pulled inside. Quicker than you could process, Connor had you pressed up against the door and had both of your hands caged in his and held above your head. 

“You just couldn’t wait,” Connor taunted as he tilted his head to the side, letting his breath fan across your cheek. He slid his knee between your legs, allowing himself to get even closer. 

You raised your head to look at him. “I dunno, seems like you’re the one who couldn’t wait.” He let out a sigh as he released your hands and raked them down your body. You had to be quick, Connor knew that. Although, that didn’t stop him from teasing you. 

He gripped your thighs as he looked down at you and pressed a sloppy kiss to your lips. It was mostly tongue, but you were quick to wrap your arms around him and pull him impossibly closer to you. 

Connor made quick work of undoing the buttons on your dress shirt as he pressed open-mouthed kisses down the column of your throat and gripped your hips tightly. He was searching for that spot that made you make those noises he liked. You ground your core against his thigh, attempting to get some sort of relief.

Once he successfully got your shirt all the way unbuttoned, he was quick to attack the newly exposed skin, licking and sucking to his heart’s desire. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged at the pieces at the nape of his neck eliciting a groan from him. 

Connor gripped your waist as he moved his sloppy kisses down your abdomen and slowly got to his knees. You gazed down at him through your heavy lids. He moved to unbutton your pants, eager to finally touch you. His movements were practiced and precise as he pulled your pants down to your ankles. He let out a shaky breath when he realized you weren’t wearing any underwear. 

You’d almost forgotten about that part of your plan.

He slotted himself neatly between your legs. He always fit so well there. 

“So needy for me,” he breathed against your core as he caressed your inner thighs. You clenched them together but his grip held you in place. He pressed a kiss on the inside of your knee before slowly moving upward, avoiding where you needed him most. 

You let out a groan, and Connor looked up at you. 

“Use your words, Doctor,” he gently reminded before latching his lips onto your core. Your breath is promptly knocked out of you, and any retort you had died in your throat. 

His grip tightened on your thighs as he desperately pulled you closer to him. His tongue expertly circled your clit as he found a rhythm that had your eyes rolling back. You gripped the hair at the nape of his neck, eliciting a moan that sent heavenly vibrations up your body. 

You groaned at the sight of him— your slick had begun to coat his face and he showed no sign of slowing. 

Connor slowly and sinfully pressed one finger inside you, which was quickly joined by another. You thrusted your hips forward, desperate to have even more of him. He pumped his fingers achingly slow, but a stream of vibrations caused you to jolt. 

That was new.

A sly grin had curved into Connor’s face and he looked up at you, taking in the confusion mixed with arousal that graced your features. He pulled away from you for a moment, “I was saving that for later.” 

“Fuck, Connor,” you whimpered. 

“Be quiet,” Connor grunted into your core as he jutted his fingers deeper into you. You pressed a hand over your mouth to silence the breathy moans that were escaping you. 

You trusted yourself for only a moment to whimper out, “Need you.” 

Connor was more than happy to oblige you as he rose to his feet and pushed his fingers past your lips, making you taste yourself. You busied yourself with undoing his belt buckle, fingers clumsy as you revealed what you ached for. 

Connor let out a shaky breath as you stroked him, and he met your strokes halfway. He gripped your thighs and in one swift motion lifted you up. He was practically bending you in half, but you didn’t mind. 

He angled his cock up to your entrance, and agonizingly, slowly pushed inside you. The way he stretched you was delicious, and you let out a high-pitched mewl at the feeling. 

He covered your mouth with one of his hands as he rutted inside of you and bottomed out. After a few moments, you started moving your hips, begging him to move. Mercifully, he obliged you and snapped his hips against yours. You let out a breathy moan against his hand, and he pressed sloppy kisses against your neck. 

“You’re perfect,” he slurred into your shoulder, “couldn’t wait until tonight to have you.” He moved his hand from your mouth to resting on your neck, and he looked you in the eyes as he pounded into you. Connor brought his hand down to where you were joined and the vibrations continued once again. 

You grip onto his bicep, that familiar coil beginning to tighten, and you panted heavily. “I’m close,” you whined.

“Come for me.” 

He didn’t have to ask twice. You groaned and you felt your eyes roll back as you reached your high. You came hard as you involuntarily pushed your hips into Connor’s. 

He came with your name gracing his lips along with a few other words. You attempted to catch your breath as Connor stilled within you. 

“You’re going to be late,” he said matter-of-factly as he pressed a kiss to your temple. You huffed out a laugh, and Connor gently set you back down. You grabbed onto his shoulders while you waited for your legs to stop feeling like jelly. 

Connor helped clean you up and make you look presentable. His hands were a lot steadier than yours at the moment. 

You pressed a kiss to his cheek and grinned, “I should tease you more often."

[therainscene]

Stranger Things 4 is themed around A Nightmare on Elm Street -- Vecna is a child-killer-turned-demon who murders teenagers from within their own minds; his heavily scarred skin and clawed hand resemble that of Freddy Krueger; and the actor who played Freddy himself plays his father.

I think Stranger Things 5 is gearing up to do something similar with The Terminator. Linda Hamilton (Sarah Connor) is the upcoming guest star this season; Vecna's exposed skull and vine-covered neck resembles the T-800--

--and Will's speech at the end of S4 bears striking similarities to Kyle Reece's famous "it can't be reasoned with" speech.

If Vecna is the T-800... then the Mind Flayer is the perfect candidate for Skynet.

[And Hawkins National Laboratory is Cyberdyne Systems -- a military-funded lab that meddled with phenomena beyond its ability to control and paved the way for a sinister hive mind to enter the world.]

I'm pretty sure that the Mind Flayer lies at the heart of whatever timey-wimey stuff is going on. It's suspiciously linked to timeline inconsistencies -- Will is already able to sense it in his neck before his possession in S2, and young Henry in TFS is haunted by the spider monster he wasn't supposed to create for another 20 years.

I've already written a theory on how a causal loop could tie Will and Henry to the Mind Flayer -- whatever's going on is probably more complicated than this, since my theory doesn't explain why the Upside Down is frozen -- but it's worth a read, I think, as it's the same type of time paradox as the one in Terminator and could easily be at the core of ST's time shenanigans.

Will is Kyle Reece or Sarah Connor -- so does that mean he's going to be a gun-toting badass?

No.

This scene is Will coming full circle from that moment in the shed at the start of S1: backed into a corner and forced to resort to violence because he sees no other way out. He doesn't want to kill the monster; he has to.

But the difference is that he's not cornered anymore.

This time around, Will knows his enemy, and he has supportive friends and family at his side. He's just so beaten down -- by Vecna, by Hawkins, by perceived rejections from Mike -- that he's lost all confidence in his ability to stand up for himself on his own terms.

I know it seems at first glance that Will advocates the use of violence in desperate times, but consider the context of the episode in which the above scene appears:

Joyce is reminiscing about her missing son while dealing with Lonnie telling her what to do and feel about it. Shortly after, she realizes how manipulative he's being and permanently kicks him out of her life (and the show lol) -- no violence necessary.

Will's advice hadn't been about the value of violence, but about the value of refusing to play by abusers' rules -- a key lesson in Stranger Things, as we've been watching El learn it the hard way over the course of four seasons.

Will cannot self-actualize by "finally" pulling the trigger on an approach that symbolizes his homophobic father's macho expectations. S5 is going to be about him regaining his self-confidence and allowing his authentic, gentle nature to guide him to the real solution.

So, to return to the "he's not gonna stop" speech: the theme at play here is inevitability, and it's one of the central themes of The Terminator -- not simply because the titular assassin is unstoppable, but because of the love story that drives the plot:

If Skynet hadn't sent the T-800 back in time to kill Sarah Connor before she could give birth to the leader of the human resistance, then Kyle would have had no reason to go back in time and end up unknowingly fathering John. No matter how hard Skynet tried to snuff John Connor out of existence, the rebellious love that created him was just as inevitable as the T-800.

This, I think, is the message at the heart of both Terminator and Stranger Things, and is the reason why The Terminator would be the perfect choice for S5's theme movie:

Sometimes the horrors wrought by humanity are inescapable...

...but so too is the hopeful human drive to love each other and overcome them.

Read Brenner's role in creating Vecna as a metaphor for homophobic Reagan-era fear-mongering and it all clicks into place, I think.

[lowkeyrobin]

Mcyt with an s/o who's a voice acter for video game characters? They mostly do voice characters in horror games n stuff(like until dawn, where the characters are also modeled after the voice after if I remember correctly)

I just think their faces would be hilarious if the choice they make in the game ends up with y/n getting killed lol

OH MY GOD YESSSSS ; also tried to use different games and not the same for everyone but I'm not the heaviest story game gamer LMFAO ; also don't talk about how timeliness wouldn't make sense shhhhhh

MCYT ; video game voice actor

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language & fictional violence and death/murder

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

somehow the topic of mc story mode came up and how you actually voice acted a few characters + one of the Jessie variants (whichever you picked as a kid 🙏)

"WHAT? WHY DIDNT I KNOW ABOUT THIS?"

"I mean I was like, fourteen. I don't think I even knew you yet"

"absolute betrayal"

he literally speeds to his office, downloads the first game and proceeds to stream for three hours playing it (he selects whichever Jessie you voiced of course)

"OH MY GOD THAT IS MY PARTNER, HOLY SHIT, LISTEN TO THEIR BABY VOICE!"

the tweets never end

"spot the difference" and its an old/new pic of you compared to jessie

💀💀💀💀

once he gets to the save Petra or Lukas scene he straight up pauses and playfully yells at you like you made the game?? 💀🙏

he dies so many times it's not even funny

love him tho

RANBOO

Detroit become human

the moment he finds out you voiced a minor character he speedruns trying to find you

the character is also modeled after you, so he's begging chat to keep an eye out for you too

you're basically just some very friendly person trying to help Connor but no matter what route he/the player takes, you wind up dead for the angst

ouuuu the heartbreak, the angst

if it's by being shot, betrayed, or committing your own death, you're gone bro

"y/n why the fuck does your character die in the worst ways possible?"

you shrug

"that genuinley hurt my feelings. I don't wanna play this anymore"

"you didn't get to Connors possible death scene yet!"

"WHAT?"

FREDDIE BADLINU

TLOU 2 (I don't support the makers zionist views, I just thought this fit. free Palestine and do your daily clicks)

was literally cheering you on the whole time when you were bts for voice acting your character

you had to take like scream classes to upgrade your screaming abilities lmao

you gave the voice to a character modeled after you, an infected teen who runs into ellie on her way through the game

she/the player is forced to put you down because you're not immune

L

he plays through the game and turns to you like "dude do I actually have to kill you to progress?"

you just nod

"I'm sorry, I didn't wanna do this"

THE DESPERATE SCREAMING GOT HIM

literally looked at you in horror

"...are you okay?"

you smile and nod

NIKI NIHACHU

life is strange

mf you would've been like 16?? damn get ur bag, okay

she plays through and you va (whoever you choose) and everytime she hears your voice she smiles

"omg that's my partner! that's y/n, you guys!! :D"

the cutest

literallt cries at the end of the game

"y/n, were you in life is strange two?"

"why?"

"Cause I wanna play it but I don't wanna get my hopes up about you being there"

"just play it, just play it. trust me"

ALEX QUACKITY

twdg s4

basically clem/the player gets really close to your character and ends up having to kill them after they turn into a walker

the angst, the heartbreak

he's never done a full let's play / game play like that before and especially with a full game series

when he got to s4 and heard you for the first time he literally started jumping around and screaming

now when you die... it's jumping and screaming alright (in anger and sadness)

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I PLAYED ALL THOSE GAMES JUST FOR YOU TO DIE?"

"I mean there's an option to prevent me turning, you're just a dumbass"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IM RESTARTING"

FOOLISH GAMERS

dead by daylight

you va'd multiple characters/killers

and the devs wanted to show appreciation by giving you your own playable character with your natural voice

when foolish finds out, he gets tubbo, quackity, tina & niki in a call to play dbd + stream for like 6 hours

loves seeing all the death animations you'd be given and all your voicelines

"OH MY GOD! guys this is my partner, they're so instantly talented at voice acting, holy shit!"

"we get it foolish, you love y/n"

"It's more than love, quackity, it's an obsession"

"my brother in christ, calm down"

[multi-fandomedfreak]

Hi, may I request headcanons for Connor, Nines and Ralph (separately)? How would they react if reader took them to buy clothes for themselves for the first time?

<3

Authors note: This is so stinkin cuteee

Characters: Connor, Nines, and Ralph

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️ : Ralph is a little insecure about his scar lol, very fluffy

🪙 Connor 🪙

-He would be so grateful for you to buy him clothes

-He doesn’t wanna walk around in that Cyberlife uniform all the time lol

-Even though he’s Deviant he’s still not used to doing things for himself a lot

-So when he hears that he gets to pick out his own clothes

-He just awkwardly sifts through the clothes at the store

-You find it pretty cute how he has no idea what he’s even looking for poor boy

-Eventually he asks you for help and you both get swept into a shopping spree

-If you asked him to, he’d definitely give you a little fashion show as he tries on clothes

-He may or may not get addicted to shopping with you

-I also feel like once he gets a sense of what kind of clothes he wants

-He’ll pick out so. many. suits.

-And of course many ties to match

-Idk why but yeah he just loves lookin dapper

-Although he would be very considerate of your budget and would try not to buy too many things

-Just keep a close eye on him tho

-Bc he will get lost in the store (poor boy gets too curious)

💙 Nines 💙

-He is so confused on why you want to buy him clothes

-He’s all like: “But I already have clothes.”

-And you gotta convince him that one suit just isn’t enough

-Literally takes forever to convince him to let you buy him some clothes

-And he’s even more confused-for some reason- that he has to go with you to buy them

-If you could give a question mark a face, it’d be the face that Nines is making

-He just didn’t think he would actually be picking out the clothes himself

-So you make it a goal for him to start making decisions for himself

-When you both get to mall, a little like Connor, he has no clue on where to start picking out clothes

-So you both take a while to first discuss what kind of clothes he wants

-And then you finally start picking out clothes

-I feel like Nines would def get a bunch of suits too

-But not like Connor, Connor at least knows he can’t have just suits

-But no, Nines wants ONLY SUITS

-Takes more time to explain how he can’t just have suits

-Literally took almost the whole day to just buy him clothes

-But it was worth it because he was grateful for it in the end

🌿 Ralph 🌿

-He’s ecstatic about getting new clothes!!

-He wants to look more presentable and is beyond grateful you would offer to buy him clothes

-Like I’m pretty sure the amount of time he said “thank you” that day

-Was the amount of times someone says “thank you” in a lifetime

-Buuut he gets a little hesitant when you ask him to come with you to buy his clothes

-He hatesss the idea of going out in public

-Especially with his scar, he’s super insecure about it

-So tons of reassuring later, you and Ralph are in the store picking out his clothes

-The entire time he’s practically glued to your side

-Like literally. He has not let go of your hand the moment you both let the house

-But it’s not as bad as he first thought

-He actually starts having fun picking out his clothes and trying them on

-Definitely a flustered mess when you compliment the clothes he tries on

-He’s confused but happy that no one has said anything about his scar

-Totally not having to do with you giving anyone The Death Stare™️ if they even breath at Ralph the wrong way

-Over all it was a very fun experience for the both of you

[ersatz-ostrich]

A Sweet Discovery

Connor & gn!reader, RK900 & gn! reader

help why is the gif ENORMOUS

Analyzing… Analysis complete. Conclusion: delicious. Connor and Nines try jam for the first time.

[A/N]: WELCOME BACK EVERYBODY! I BRING CONTENT

After seeing fanart on Pinterest of tiny Connor and tiny RK900 trying jam for the first time, I had an idea that really spiraled out of control (if the word count says anything lol). Although the word 'jam' only appears 45 (!) times during this fic, I swear I've typed it out so many times that the word's become surreal to me. Like, jam, jam, jam...um, what does 'jam' mean again? Anyways...

read here on ao3

You stirred the bubbling pot on your stove, humming pleasantly. It was a lazy Saturday in the peak of summer, and you had decided to spend your free time trying your hand at canning what was abundant and in season instead of rotting on your couch or in bed. Various ingredients and equipment were strewn about your kitchen—a colander, a large jar of sugar from the pantry, cutting boards, and boxes on boxes of fruit. Alongside your pot of jam-to-be, you had set another pot of water to boil with glass jars in it to sterilize them. 

You stirred away, mind drifting, until you were pulled back to the present by the chime of your doorbell. Your head turned to the screen set up on your counter, where you saw through the footage of your doorbell camera two androids and a large Saint Bernard waiting politely at your front door. Grinning, you departed from your post at the stove momentarily to hit the button to let them in. 

“Come on in, you guys!” You called out from the kitchen. The lock clicked, and Connor let himself in, followed by Nines.

“Good morning, Y/N.” Connor piped up first. “What are you doing?”

“Well, I wanted to do something useful with my time off, so I decided to make some jam.” In a most Connor-like fashion, he tilted his head, curious. While Sumo settled contentedly on the carpet in your living room, you beckoned the androids into your sunny kitchen. “So, what brings you two here?”

“We were walking Sumo and passed by your home.” While you only lived a few blocks from Hank, you found it interesting that they had chosen to show up unannounced. “I thought we should pay you a visit.” He gave you an easy half-smile, something that had become more and more common as he grew accustomed to deviancy.

“Are we intruding? If so, we’ll be on our way—”

“Nonsense, Nines, of course you can stay,” You waved him off as you agitated the bubbling jam on the stove, which was coming along nicely. “I’m not doing anything particularly important right now. Have you two ever had jam?”

“Jam, as in…fruit cooked and preserved in sugar and other additives?” Nines inquired. “I’m afraid not, Detective. We were designed to analyze samples of organic matter from crime scenes. Jam, so far, has not been one of those samples.” You chuckled at his response. 

“Well, would you like to?” You pulled the glass jars out of the pot of water and onto an awaiting towel with a pair of tongs, all while stirring your jam. “I’ve got some blueberry jam in those jars on the kitchen table.” You reached for your utensil drawer and handed a spoon to Connor. “Try it.”

Connor took the spoon and eyed the jars on your kitchen table, LED spinning. Taking the lid off of one, he spooned out a generous dollop of the dark purple substance, which stuck to the spoon and slid off lazily when he put the spoon in his mouth. 

Silence passed over you and the androids; the only sounds in the kitchen were the burbling of your jam and your spoon scraping against the walls of the pot as you watched Connor’s LED glow a bright, whirling yellow. 

The moment the jam hit Connor’s sensor-studded tongue, his processors were flooded with input. He dropped the hand holding the spoon, and the spoon fell out of his mouth and clattered onto the table. Flavor, or as much flavor as a deviant android like himself could sense, bloomed on his tongue and sent pleasant sparks coursing through his artificial nervous system. The data came flowing in as his LED continued to spin; he detected a delicious bouquet of volatile aromatic compounds and acids, no doubt from the fruit, and a torrent of carbohydrates. If he had possessed any human taste buds, he would have registered the taste of the jam as tart, sweet, and delicious.

With astonishing speed, Connor snatched up the spoon from the table, scooped out a helping of the jam, and unceremoniously shoved it into his successor’s mouth.

Nines’s LED flashed red as Connor insistently jammed ; then yellow as he processed the data he was receiving from analyzing the jam in his mouth; and then, finally, pulsing blue as he began to appreciate the jam’s agreeable taste. 

“It is…interesting.” Nines spoke when Connor finally removed the spoon from his mouth. “I have never analyzed anything like it before.”

“Yes, but how is it?” You asked. “Do you like it?”

“I cannot determine whether or not I like the data I receive from analyzing samples, Detective.” Nines cracked a small smile. “But…I would say that the sensory stimulation I received from tasting the jam was pleasant.” Upon hearing his comments, you beamed, glad to have been given the RK900 seal of approval. 

“It sounds to me like you like the jam, Nines! I’m glad.” You smiled softly as the androids chatted over the kitchen table. It was so gratifying to help androids like Connor and Nines experience things both mundane and complex without the restraints of their Cyberlife programming. Something so simple as blueberry jam, you realized, could brighten their day.

“Are these blueberries from upstate? Blueberries are currently in season in Michigan.” Connor inquired.

“Yeah, I got them from Rose’s Farm outside of Detroit. They let you pick your own blueberries and the price is pretty great for the freshness and quantity you get.” You knocked your spoon against the rim of the pot to let your now-finished jam drip off and transferred your pot onto a square pot holder to cool. Connor raised his brows upon hearing you mention the farm owned by Rose Chapman, whom he knew to have harbored deviants leading up to the day the androids had won their freedom. He had first learned of the woman from a group of androids from Jericho, not long after he had become a deviant.

“I see,” Connor mused. “Is this your first time making jam?” 

“No, it isn’t. I definitely wasn’t this good the first time around.” You laughed sheepishly, taking some jars off of your kitchen counter and presenting them to the two androids. “See, this one’s started fermenting. I noticed when I opened the jar today and it smelled off. I think I didn’t sterilize my jar right or something,” You explained. Connor dipped a spoon in the deep red jam. After a brief analysis, he determined the failed jam to be contaminated strawberry preserves.

“You are correct. I detect trace amounts of alcohol in this sample from fermentation,” He replied after a second. “I also detect a certain strain of mold. These preserves should not be consumed.”

“Yeah, I’m going to dump it. Try this one,” You held out another jar of strawberry preserves. Visually, Connor couldn’t tell what was wrong with it at first until he stuck the spoon in the jar and realized that the consistency was too thick.

“The sugars in these preserves have caramelized,” Connor concluded. 

“I kinda…screwed up and burned my preserves.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Nines reaching into the utensil drawer for a spoon to sample the contaminated strawberry preserves.

“If you would not like to waste these strawberry preserves, Detective, I could take it. Androids are not affected by mold contamination or fermentation.” He began.

“You sure? That stuff’s gonna grow some pretty gross mold colonies after some time,” You responded, wrinkling your nose. “I have a better idea. Why don’t you take some of the jam I just made? I have so much jam in my house right now and I don’t know what I’m going to do with all of it.” You screwed the lid on the blueberry jam Connor and Nines had tried and pressed it into the RK900’s hands. “Oh, and—” You hurried back to the kitchen counter to pour out some of the jam you just made into one of the sterilized jars you had left to dry. “—take this, too. It’s raspberry jam.” You handed the warm glass jar to Connor, who accepted it enthusiastically.

“Thank you, Detective. I—we appreciate your generosity.” Nines replied, pleased.

“I can’t wait to try your raspberry jam. I’m sure it’s delicious,” Connor added.

“You’re too kind, both of you.” You laughed cheerily, walking with them into the living room where Sumo raised his head to greet you. “I’ve got plenty more fruit to preserve, but I don’t want you two to keep Hank waiting for too long.” With Sumo’s leash in one hand and a jar of jam cradled carefully in the other, Connor waved goodbye and stepped out the front door. Nines followed suit, nodding politely at you.

“Thank you for showing us something new, Detective. Thanks to you, I feel like I have expanded my horizons greatly since becoming deviant.”

“It was my pleasure, Nines. You’re welcome to stop by anytime.”

“Hey, whatcha eatin’, Tin Can?” 

“Blueberry jam, Detective.” Spoon still hanging out of his mouth, Nines offered the jar to Gavin. “My filtration system can only handle about a spoonful every now and then, but I enjoy the taste. Would you like some?” The abrasive detective inspected the jar with a critical eye.

“Fuck, who put you on human food?”

“Detective L/N.” Nines answered placidly. “L/N is very good at making jams.”

“Shit, is that where Connor got his jar of jam from?” asked Hank, stopping by Nines and Gavin’s desks on his way back from the breakroom. “The one he keeps on his desk alongside a spoon. I catch him eating spoonfuls of the jam from time to time.” Nines nodded.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Gavin muttered. “Androids eating jam. What’s next? Donuts?”

While Gavin’s speculations did not become a reality, Connor and Nines continued to enjoy the simple pleasure of homemade jam. It wasn’t long until their android brother Sixty discovered it, and he responded with equal enthusiasm for the stuff.

Noticing their newfound habit of shoving jam-coated spoons in their mouths during lulls in work at the precinct or after visiting particularly gruesome crime scenes, you continued bringing them different flavors of jams and preserves for them to try. What had been your way of killing time at home had become a full-fledged hobby.

“They’re my android guinea pigs,” You joked to anyone who asked. “They’re the first in line every time I experiment with a new recipe.”

Finally, after Connor had turned up on your doorstep to return emptied-out jars for the umpteenth time, you decided to teach him how to make his own jam. 

“Look, I’m not saying that I don’t want to make jam for you guys anymore. I just think you’d like it if you tried making it yourselves,” You explained. “I’m sure you can download some executable that magically gives you culinary skills through the power of software, but you’ll still need practice, right?” 

“I’m not sure, Detective—” Connor replied uneasily. “I was not built for domestic work, but I will try.” He had elected to wear an apron as you walked him through the process, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Connor standing in your kitchen wearing a red gingham apron over his impeccably neat clothes. He was eager to learn, a trait you had always liked. What he had once called “Cyberlife’s social integration module” had made him adaptable, open-minded, and a great listener. 

You had invited Connor into your kitchen on a sunny Saturday morning, much like the morning Connor and Nines had first tasted blueberry jam. By noon, he was strolling back to Hank’s place with a spring in his step, carrying a box that rattled with glass jars of his own preserves. 

Making jam soon became Connor’s new favorite hobby. He enjoyed the endless variation in recipes and tasting things other than forensic evidence. You started seeing jars of jam mysteriously popping up on your desk every couple of weeks. When you asked Hank if Connor was the jam fairy behind the gifts on your desk, the lieutenant feigned ignorance.

Connor was also able to branch out into the android community of Detroit. He began to frequent the android-populated New Jericho neighborhood that had formed after the government acknowledged androids’ personhood, where he met current and former employees of the Detroit Urban Farms project and other androids with green thumbs. They exchanged the produce they grew for the preserves he made, which they sold at a farmer’s market downtown. Connor declined a share of the profits, saying that he wanted to support the burgeoning android community with his hobby. He was building a life for himself that he had never expected to have when he was a machine, and that was enough for him.

As for Nines, his newfound sweet tooth led him to discover a different interest. On his days off, he liked to explore the city in which he was assembled. On one of his walks, he discovered a candy shop on a street corner a few paces away from Bellini Paints. There, he was introduced to the delights of various different candies. Soon enough, he couldn’t go anywhere without stashing a fistful of lemon drops or hard caramels in the pocket of his raincoat or suit jacket. His coworkers—especially his partner Gavin—found the sight of Cyberlife’s most advanced investigator android and (former) killing machine licking contentedly at a heart-shaped lollipop jarring, intimidating even. However, his penchant for hard candy endeared him to the children he encountered in his line of work—scared, stressed children who would have previously cowered away from his imposing figure and piercing stare. 

One time, Officer Miller had brought in a sandy-haired, freckled five-year-old boy who had been separated from his parents while attending a large parade. The child had wandered the streets for the whole day. The officer had found him sitting by himself on a park bench, teary-eyed. 

Upon taking him back to the precinct, the child was inconsolable, crying until his tears dried up and continuing to tremble and whimper softly for his parents. Nines, who had just returned from the scene of a crime, noticed the boy sitting on a bench across the hall from the bullpen and being attended to by an ST300-model receptionist. Nines locked eyes with the android.

How is he doing? The ST300’s LED flickered yellow as she responded,

Not very well. He hasn’t stopped crying.

I’ll see what I can do.

Nines crouched down to reach the gaze of the boy’s stormy, downcast eyes. He produced a lollipop from a pocket in his jacket, unwrapped it, and offered it to the boy.

“It’s blueberry-flavored,” Said Nines. “Blueberry is my favorite flavor. What’s yours?” The boy sniffled and jammed the treat in his mouth.

“O-orange.”

“That’s a good choice,” Nines replied with a smile. His usually stoic, frosty expression softened. “I have a brother who makes the best orange marmalade ever.” He took a seat beside the boy. 

“I a-always wanted a b-brother,” The boy hiccuped. “B-but Mommy and Daddy are g-gone, a-and—” His hiccups turned into sobs. Nines let the boy lean on him, placing a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Nines whispered. “You’re safe here. Everything will be alright. Everything will be just fine. We’ll find your parents, I promise.” Even if it takes Cyberlife’s most advanced android to track them down. He continued murmuring soothing affirmations to the boy, whose shoulders stopped shuddering as his sobs quieted.

We just confirmed that the boy matches the description of a missing child that was reported earlier today. His parents are on the way, Connor silently informed Nines from his desk.

Understood , Nines replied. He and the child lapsed into a comfortable silence as the misty-eyed boy continued to suck on the lollipop.

“What’s your name?” Nines asked the boy.

“Luke.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Luke. My brothers call me Nines.” 

“That’s a weird name,” Luke blurted.

“My coworker, Gavin, thinks so, too.” Nines replied, side-eyeing the detective, who was idling in the bullpen. “You know, Luke, brothers are a handful. I have two—I’m the youngest.”

“Really?”

“Yes. They’re always up to something and I have to stop them from getting themselves into trouble.” Nines chuckled softly as some of his android predecessors’ antics came to mind. “My big brother, Connor, is the one who makes jam. Tell you what, I bet I can get him to make orange marmalade just for you.”

“Yeah?” Luke raised his gaze to meet Nines’s.

“A big jar, all for you.” A wide grin broke onto Luke’s cherubic face.

“I love orange mara-” Luke frowned. “Marmam-”

“Marmalade,”

“I love orange marmalade!” Luke giggled.

From the bullpen, Tina and the other officers craned their necks from where they were stationed at their desks to get a good view of Nines giving a rare, bright smile as the boy clung to his arm.

“Who knew Mr. Thirium-Pump-of-Ice was so good with kids?” Tina whispered to Gavin.

“I dunno,” Gavin whispered back. “If he didn’t act like such a stuck-up prick all the time, maybe more people would approach him. Kids included.”

“The RK900 is equipped with a social module similar to that of the RK800 line,” Connor piped up. “His software is capable of adapting to the behavior of children, including consol-”

“We get it, Connor!” Gavin whisper-shouted. 

“I think it’s kinda cute,” You offered. “Even though he’s deviant, Nines doesn’t show us this side of him often.” 

“Aww. Maybe Nines is a softy after all.” Ben joked. 

“Ooh, don’t let him hear that, Collins. You’re ruining his street cred.” Gavin retorted.

While the officers watched on, as discreet as a zebra at a horse show, Luke willingly climbed into Nines’s arms and let him carry him out to the precinct lobby where his parents were waiting anxiously. Just before he exited the bullpen, Nines cast a glance at Connor, LED flashing yellow. Connor’s LED flashed likewise.

“Connor? What’s up?” You asked as the RK800 stared off into the distance. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know where I can get some good oranges, would you, Detective?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end or something idk~~~~~~~~~

[A/N]: I initially wanted Nines or Sixty to discover honey/take up beekeeping after discovering jam/fruit preserves...but then I realized that bees are extinct in Detroit: Become Human :( hope you guys liked this little tangent! until next time x

let me know if you want to be part of my general taglist!

[junespriince]

Fictional vs reality au

Roy, crying laughing, telling the Batfam who is also laughing at him: you're jealous haha, over your own self!

Dick: I didn't think the dating sim would have gotten this popular, let alone him playing it... There's a life-size Nightwing plushie he cuddles instead of me, his own boyfriend! How am I losing to myself!?

Garth: I don't understand why you're mad, it's still you.

Dick: it's my alter ego, it not me, Wally has spent six grand on a life-size Nightwing! I'm losing to myself! I rather he had chosen to romantic anyone else.

Donna: really? I wouldn't mind having a cute redhead fanboy obsessed with me~

*

Dick: scratch that, anyone but you.

Kori: at least I'm his second favorite, he's spent quite a lot on my builds.

Dick: well... He does have eyes and taste... I don't think it should warrant a grand on a figure nobody but us we'll see, he's a vtuber!

Kori: just enjoy it, he's on articles as your number one fan and the money the game makes goes to charities so don't be so hard on him.

Dick: I guess....

Jason: could be worse dickface, he could have hated Nightwing.

Dick: ... I didn't think of that

Meanwhile in Wally and Dick's apartment

Kyle: WHY HAVE YOU REJECTED ME!?

Wally: because you're my best friend it would be weird!?

Connor: but you both max out my romance bar...

Wally and Kyle: of course, duh.

Kyle: you're special.

Wally: be rude to not do it.

Connor: that doesn't make sense at all!

Kyle: okay losing the plot, how much to do my romance scenes?

Wally: six dollars.

Kyle, gasp in struggling artist living in California: that's expensive!

Wally: then wait, my fans want me to romance my hubby again. I can't deny them Nightwing scenes.

Kyle: ain't your rich boy toy jealous of you calling a hero you don't know you're husband?

Wally: nah, he's so supportive!

Kyle and Connor, seen Dick in full Nightwing gear telling himself he better stop stealing his mans: ... Sure

* because it too long lol