#i was also so scared of cold calling but everyone screws up at some point

[wyvernne]

miss wyvernne how did you like your first year of law school!!( Im thinking about going to law school n I want a good gauge at what it’s like)

it was honestly so much better than i thought it would be. it’s a lot of work, and i won’t downplay that. just constant reading and studying, often at the expense of sleep and rest. but it absolutely flew by. i got my final grades back this past week and it really sunk in that i did it. it definitely took the first semester to settle into the groove of it, and a lot of overthinking that i was making a terrible mistake. but if you’re willing to put in the work and can find a solid way to cope with the stress then it is absolutely worth it. people talk smack about lawyers but it is super rewarding knowing that we can help people in some of the most difficult moments of their lives.

[sterlingsilver-starlight]

You are a Gift ❤️‍🩹

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Female Reader

Genres: Hurt/comfort, angst, drama, fluff, romance

Content Warnings: emotional trauma (reader has verbally abusive mother), very brief implication of past suicidal thoughts, briefly racist language/discussion of racist behavior (reader is mixed white/Asian) mild language, intimate moments (heated makeout scene, but nothing further)

Word Count: 5938 words

Summary: After struggling with an abusive mother’s racist and oppressive behavior, Reader finds solace (and possibly more) in the arms of her closest friend, Seonghwa…

Inspirations: I listened to this emotional music mix and this piano tutorial version of Star 1117 while writing this :]

This was very comforting to write…this is the first fanfic I’ve written (though I’ve read plenty here and there ^^); I hope everyone can find someone like this in their life 🫶🏼

Also please note that this is in no way supposed to represent or depict the actual idol; this is just created for storytelling/entertainment purposes only :)

“Hey…what’s going on? Is everything alright?”

You slumped against the wall, head pounding as dizzy visions pranced about the room overhead. Your hands trembled at the slightest of sounds. Your eyes brimmed with tears that refused to fall, yet collected on your lashes like raindrops after the storm.

What even was real? What was life, anymore? What had it been?

Every step you took…only ever felt like it was one being taken backwards.

Maybe she was right. Maybe you were just a failure at life. A disappointment because you couldn’t keep straight even the most basic things.

You’d tried to drown out the noise as much as you could. But there was only so much you could play pretend with.

The chill in your spine ached like the fever dreams you’d been struggling to cope with the past few nights. Sweat pouring down your temples, constantly waking up in the middle of the night scared with tear-stained cheeks.

You had never meant to get sick. You had never meant to come home and spend the weekend recovering from a cold. And most of all, you had never meant to spread it to your sister.

So little could have prepared you for the awful things your mother would shout back, in spite and hatred that you could do little to deflect.

Except ignore, grit your teeth against, and eventually, cave into and cry silent tears to.

“We were having a great weekend until you had to go and get sick and get your sister sick!”

“I’ll bet you’re so glad you went to see that movie this week, huh? Maybe if you’d had some white friends you’d actually have known better than to walk in the cold like an idiot!”

“Stop pretending to be someone you’re not! All you do is act like you’re 120% Asian! Newsflash: You’re NOT, so get off it!”

There was no end. You bit your lip, fingers shaking furiously. There was no end to what might be said the next day.

Maybe this had all just been a horrible idea to bring him into it, too. You were just disturbing him. After all, isn’t that what she always said? That you were too sensitive to everything in plain —

“Y/n?”

You inhaled a shaky breath, desperately trying not to cry, but to hear him call your name, to hear someone call your name so calmly, as though you weren’t just a piece of trash left on the streets, triggered a dam of emotions.

“I-I…” you started, hoping he would still stay on the line after having been given the unintentional silent treatment for so long already.

“It’s okay. Go on. I’m right here. Talk to me, okay?”

You choked back a sob. “I-I’m sorry I’m such an inconvenience to you. I’m sorry for calling so suddenly, on such short notice, I…” You took a deep breath. “I don’t have anyone else to talk to right now, I’ve been in hell these past few days and I know I look like it. I feel like it. I’ve constantly been reminded how much I’ve screwed everyone’s lives up, to the point that I got so afraid that maybe…”

You couldn’t go on.

There was a light sigh on the other end. “They’re all settled in by now, right?”

Your eyes widened at the sudden shift in topic. “Y-yeah. W-why?”

“Pack some stuff in a bag. You’re staying with me for a few nights.”

Nothing else could have compelled you to gather clothes and spare toiletries in a duffel bag so quickly and so quietly, especially on a late Saturday night.

But when Seonghwa gave you advice so directly, you didn’t hesitate to see it through. He’d been one of your closest friends for what seemed like forever, even though it had only been slightly less than two years since you first encountered him walking to class one chilly winter morning. You smiled at the brief memory.

Headphones charged up, supplies ready to go for lecture, phone at the ready for impromptu sky snapshots, check threefold. You smiled at the glistening snow on the trees, the slight crunch your boots made with every step, the way the sun brightened the eyes of even —

There was a jolt, and before you knew it, you’d completely spazzed out and knocked into a fellow passersby. Pulling down your headphones, you turned around frantically. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

The stranger looked up at you with warm brown eyes that scrunched upward as he smiled. “Don’t worry about it, it’s all good. I should have watched more carefully, no?” He chuckled lightly tapping near his ears, indicating your headphones.

Your eyes widened, cheeks burning crimson. “O-oh! Yeah…sorry about that! Once I hear a good song, I just really get lost in its melody, I guess!” You bit your lip, trying to look anywhere else besides this man’s general direction. He was really quite beautiful, though, the more you observed him: from the outline of his nose jutting out nicely from the soft curve of his eyes and round, full lips, to the delicate swoop of his jet-black, wavy hair.

“Anyway!” you started, realizing you’d been taking in his features much too long. “I’m Y/n. Nice to meet you…?”

“It’s Seonghwa,” he replied softly. “Nice to meet you as well.”

“Seonghwa…” you tested the name on your tongue. “It’s a very nice name. I think it suits you very well.” You beamed up at him shyly.

Now it was his turn to blush. “T-thank you, yours as well…Y/n.”

You sighed as you packed the last pair of socks in your bag. Yes, it really had been that long already since you two had met, and it hadn’t taken an eclipse or anything nearly as occasional for the two of you to become as thick as thieves. For it had turned out that he was also a student at the university, so naturally, you started meeting up regularly, sometimes for study sessions, sometimes to explore the campus, sometimes just to talk about everything and nothing all at once.

And he was the trustworthy, empathetic kind of person as well. So much that, the first time things had really gone downhill back home for the weekend, you had felt dead certain he was the only person you knew who could be trusted with knowing such details. It wasn’t a logical conclusion, going straight off how long you’d known each other, or anything of the sort.

You could just feel it.

At first, you’d been deathly afraid that he might view you differently, worse even, if he knew what kind of dysfunctional shambles you were living under. But when he’d taken your hand that day and assured you that he wasn’t going anywhere, only then did you feel brave enough to tell him what was happening.

Fast forward to tonight, and something very similar was happening. The problem is, you realized, there were still secrets in the shadows that even he did not know of, and that you would rather die than attempt confessing to him.

You see, over the times you’d spent getting to know each other, getting to trust one another more and more, you’d slowly but surely found yourself developing feelings for him, but with how close and intimate your friendship was, you’d been determined never to say anything. Why chance it? Why chance losing a bond that was so precious, that had given you so much hope, so much strength through so much chaos?

“It probably wouldn’t matter, anyway,” you mumbled to yourself. This offer he’d made over the phone was probably just a one-time thing. You were sure that had the roles been reversed, you would be doing the same out of compassion.

You turned again towards your bedroom door, reveling and realizing in that moment all the hells and horrors you’d been an earwitness to for so many years. Most probably wouldn’t believe it when you said that the words your mother spoke, whether out loud to you face-to-face or within earshot from another room to your sister or father, were enough to make one consider taking their own life.

But it was true.

You hated how things had gotten to this point, but, you supposed, maybe most of it could be attributed to just growing older and becoming more aware, more dead set on educating yourself about the red flags and the signs that something, or someone, was toxic. That their atmosphere, their vibe, so to speak, was unhealthy for you to keep absorbing like secondhand cigarette smoke.

There wasn’t much you could do about it, though. You were a full-time university student whose campus happened to be close to your family’s house, so being the frugal young adult you aimed so much to be, you’d chosen off-campus housing with your parents for financial reasons. There were much bigger struggles out there, you’d convinced yourself, that you just didn’t want to tackle yet: juggling bills, paying for your living space, and so on. And while you had been able to save up a bit of money from your summer job, you needed to continue those habits as long as you could to make it all the more easier after you graduated and started working for a while, to ease your mind before graduate school.

A sharp pair of raps at your window startled the rambling trail of wondering memories. You jolted, having squatted the whole time by your bag just collecting things and your thoughts, and looked like a deer caught in headlights as you quickly turned to the glowing windowsill, curtains drawn back enough that they resembled billowing, flowing tendrils in the night.

Seonghwa’s smile might have been hidden by the backlight of the moon tonight, but you could still make out his almost toothless grin as he beamed back at you from the other side of the glass. You couldn’t help but return it as you slowly got up to open the window, realizing how grateful you were that your bedroom was on the first floor.

“So,” he started, looking up at you with a twinkle in his eyes, “are you ready?”

You nodded. “Yeah.” You grabbed one of your bag straps tightly. “Yeah. I am.” You wore a firm-lipped smile as you carefully followed him out the window, taking one more quick look-around behind you to make sure nothing was too out of place — not that anyone would be checking for the next week, anyway. Since you had been getting over a cold, almost everyone (namely your mother and sister) had decided you were about as worth talking to as an infected might be in a zombie apocalypse series: enough to confirm alive-or-not status, and after that, nil.

Realizing this, you stopped behind him and tried not to panic already. He heard your lack of footsteps and stopped with you. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” you swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m feeling…fine now, but I should let you know,” you continued, backing away slightly to put more distance between the two of you, “I was getting over a cold recently, and —”

“Y/n, I’ll have you know that I’m not just gonna abandon you because you were feeling a little unwell. Everyone gets sick from time to time. Sure, it’s not the greatest thing to be feeling, but it’s certainly no reason to start treating you like you aren’t still, well, you. You’re still the Y/n I know and love, so that settles it.” He reached out and grabbed your hand, taking no apparent notice of the way that your heart was pounding in your throat at those words — or at the smooth warmth of his fingertips.

Don’t overthink it, he’s just saying those things from a place of friendship, remember?

“Come on, let’s go. My place isn’t too far from here, remember? Plus, it might be a good time for a walk.”

Once you made it to his apartment, you felt unease slowly dissipate from your body.

“Make yourself at home. I have no intention of kicking you out quickly, so stay here as long as you feel you need to.” He took off his jacket and hung it on the coat rack near the hallway. You smiled, taking note of the fluffy pink headband with cat ears still hanging near the end; it’d been a birthday present to him not too long ago that you’d figured he would like since cats were something he could just about talk your ear off from.

Setting your bag down, you took a seat on one of the sofas in his living room, the open layout of the place allowing you to continue watching him as he moved his things around, flicked on the lamp near the sofa, and settled in next to you.

“So…” he clasped his hands together, rubbing them gingerly.

“So…?” you repeated playfully, already feeling a bit more lighthearted than you had just earlier.

“What’s going on? Is everything alright?”

You took a deep breath. “Well, you know how earlier I was saying I’ve been getting over being sick, right?”

“Yeah?”

You nodded sadly. “Well…my mom…she didn’t take too kindly to that when she found out. Like, at all. I had a mask on just to be safe when I was headed to my room after my shower, which is unlike me because I usually take it off when I’m home, but my sister spotted it and then pointed it out and then my mom took notice and, and —” You felt tears start pooling in your eyes again, and frantically put the back of a hand to your mouth to quell any sobs that threatened to come forward.

“Shh, shh…it’s okay,” Seonghwa assured you, rubbing one hand gently up and down your back, taking care with the other to pull away the shaky fist you had balled up by your lips. “Keep going, you’re doing great. Nothing and nobody is going to hurt you right now. It’s just you and me. Right here. Right now.”

His hand didn’t leave yours, his fingers slowly unwrapping your clenched ones until they were intertwined.

You swallowed, taken aback by his boldness. “M-my mom took notice, and from then on…it was like I was a prisoner of war being looked down upon every other minute. Even from behind my closed door, I could hear her spewing angrily how surely I had just gotten sick on purpose so I wouldn’t have to do anything while I was at home, how I just loved ruining everyone’s day and everyone’s weekend and how I never failed to not take care of myself and make everyone stressed about possibly catching something from me and…” You looked up at his round boba eyes with your own teary ones.

“And?” he questioned, eyes never leaving yours.

“And…” you stumbled, recalling more that you didn’t want to recall. “How I’m a fool for surrounding myself with people who aren’t white, even though I’m myself white. How…” I bit my lip, still looking into his eyes — for courage, for strength, for something deeper than what I’d been led all these years to believe existed within the eyes of someone viewed in my house as ethnically inferior.

“How?” he continued, urging you to keep going, no matter how hard it got in the middle, or near the end, or even in the beginning, of your words.

“How…I’m bringing shame to my family and convincing myself otherwise just to feel good. How…the friendships I’ve kept are…ridiculous because they’re mostly Asian, perpetuating the lies I tell myself about being mixed or wanting to identify as mixed, even though genetically I am mixed because my mom is half Asian, so by genetics that automatically makes me a quarter.” You broke down into soft sobs. “B-b-but that’s n-not even the worst p-part.”

He said nothing, but the squeeze he gave your hand was more than enough of a response. You worried about continuing, but at this point, you were already in too deep, so you figured you might as well put things out there while you still could.

“The worst part,” you trembled, “is that my own mother would rather die than see me one day in a relationship with someone who isn’t white. Like it would be doing some disgrace to her efforts with having married a white guy, my dad.” You shivered. “It’s just not fair, Hwa! Getting taunted that I pretend to be someone I’m not is one thing, having the friends I meet up with to go see a movie get made fun of and berated because of their ethnicity is another, but now it’s about the kind of person I might one day want to be involved romantically with? I can’t —” You ripped your hand from his to catch your face in both hands. “I can’t take this anymore, Hwa! It’s just not right!”

Uncontrollable crying resonated throughout the apartment for what felt like hours on end. The broken child inside of you was aching more and more with every passing second, half in disbelief of all the verbal and mental abuse and trauma you’d gone through for so many years, especially recently, and then half in shock that you weren’t already dead by now from collapse and grief and complete hopelessness.

“Maybe she was right…maybe I do deserve to just —”

“Stop it right now.” The solemn firmness of his statement knocked you out of a weeping daze instantly. He was firm, yes, and he could be firm, yes. But never authoritatively like this.

“What?” You brushed strands of hair out of your eyes, blinking back tears, lips trembling like hell had frozen over.

“Stop saying these horrible things about yourself. Even if they aren’t things you yourself said in the first place.” He took both of your hands away from your face, cupping your cheeks so that you were both looking each other in the eyes again.

“You are an amazing person, inside and out, and if she can’t see that because of something as trivial as you falling ill temporarily, then she is the fool, not you. She mentions how you’re bringing shame to the family by believing or supporting the people and the cultures you do? Well, she should be ashamed of herself for being mixed and yet being the one to dishonor it as much as she does. And as for that last point?”

He bent down so you were both at eye level, close enough now to watch every eyelash as it flickered up and down between blinks.

“That last point…I personally think that’s for you to decide, who you’re interested in and whatnot. Ignore the noise she brings into your head. It won’t always be there to cloud your thoughts. I know you wish you could have been able to foster a better relationship with her, but…” His eyes slowly welled with tears as well, making yours only brim more.

You hated seeing him cry.

“H-hwa…y-you’re crying…” you raised a hand to caress his cheek, wiping away a lone tear.

He smiled sadly. “For good reason.” His eyes widened more as he took you in. “And…”

“What is it?”

“You’ve never called me Hwa before.”

You smiled back softly. “I guess it just slipped out. Spur of the moment. But…you’re the only constant I have in my life right now. Like the stars.”

His cheeks warmed. “Then I guess it’s only fair to say that you are very much…the same, in my eyes.”

You bit your lip yet again, instantly reminded of the day you two had met when you were a nervous wreck and eager to look anywhere else as much as you could.

“Yes, really.” He repeated, as though answering your unspoken doubt. He continued smiling at you, no ill intent or manipulation locked away in those warm brown eyes, no hatred or malice brushing aside the pure kindness and love that somehow, you could just sense in his gaze.

“Then I…” It may very well have been now or never. You had never been more sure of anything in your life than you were at this very moment, and yet you had never been more unsure of anything, either.

Somehow he seemed to catch on. “Do what you need to do.”

Your breath hitched. “I’m afraid.”

“I already told you…I’m right here. Talk to me. Okay?”

You leaned in, the flicker of the lamp only adding to the small warmth nestled within this space that you two shared.

“Hwa, I…I don’t know how else to put this.”

“Try.”

“You…you feel like home.”

A smile. “I’m glad. Because so do you.”

His hands reached to grip yours, firmly but softly, before he leaned in slowly, closing his eyes. You followed suit, the last thing you saw being the trickle of a tear or two down his lashes, down his cheek, before you met his lips in a gentle kiss. You pulled away slowly, eyes as wide as dinner plates, checking with him silently to make sure it was okay.

To make sure this was real and reciprocated as you were, hopefully, not overreading into.

He smiled back, a small crinkle in his eyes as his view flickered to your lips and then back to your eyes again.

You leaned in again, pressing your lips to his, this time letting your hands travel through his locks, pulling him in closer while his hands wrapped around your waist, moving you ever so slightly so you were in his lap. His tongue nudged your bottom lip, and you obliged, sucking softly on the warm muscle that now danced lithely in your mouth.

His fingers massaged up and down the small of your back, soothingly, as the kiss deepened and the world around you seemed to fade away. For whatever horrors and dangers might be beheld outside these walls, in this moment, it was as though the universe had conspired for circumstances to bring the two of you together here, in the now, in a moment that felt like a dream inside a dream.

With every tender touch of his lips against yours, you could feel warmth and affection pouring from his soul, and through the tears, through the ache of the past, your heart still raced in response, and you couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. It brought a sense of serenity in this way your bodies seemed to melt into each other — a connection that transcended mere words.

You lost track of time as the kiss continued, wrapped up in the sensation of living mindfully, living in the moment, of being so close to him, feeling his breath against your skin, and the way his fingers played a gentle symphony on your back. It was a moment of pure bliss, and you couldn’t help but somehow be grateful for the pain and turmoil that had enhanced your ability to fully embrace and cherish this point — for how would you have been able to genuinely feel the significance of a moment like this, had you not gone through so much dark before?

When you both needed to catch your breath, you pulled back, your foreheads resting against each other. Your eyes locked, and you shared a wordless conversation, a silent promise of what the future might hold for the two of you. It was an unspoken agreement that whatever challenges were up ahead, you would face them together.

His fingers continued to trace patterns on your back, and he spoke softly, “What would you say if I told you I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, and that it’s even more incredible than I ever thought it would be?”

You giggled, feeling the deepest of happiness truly start to bubble up inside of you. “Me too,” you replied. “I guess I should have just said something earlier on, no?”

His laughter filled the room, a rich, melodious sound that still sent shivers down your spine. “Maybe,” he considered, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “But I think the anticipation, the longing, made it all the sweeter…even if it took the pain that you’ve been so strong to overcome to get there.” He leaned in to kiss you again, his lips moving with a newfound urgency, a hunger that you sensed had been building for far too long.

As your mouths met once more, the kiss deepened, and the passion between you ignited like a wildfire. His hands moved from your back, now exploring the curves of your body, tracing every inch of your form as if committing it to memory. You gasped into the kiss when his fingers delicately found their way to the small of your back again, pressing you closer to him.

The room seemed to grow warmer, your breaths coming faster and heavier. The chemistry between you was undeniable, an electric charge that pulsed through every touch and every kiss. His tongue danced with yours — a sensual, intoxicating rhythm that left you breathless.

You moved your hands from his hair to his chest, feeling the firmness of his muscles beneath your touch. You could sense the desire in his every movement, and it mirrored your own. The intensity between you kept growing like a storm on the horizon, threatening to consume you both.

His lips trailed from your mouth to your neck, leaving a trail of fiery kisses in their wake. Your back arched as his mouth nibbled on an area just below your ear, and a soft moan escaped your lips. He smiled and started sucking slowly, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body like lightning.

With a desire that couldn’t be contained any longer, you straddled his lap. It was a bold move, but you were both now beyond the point of hesitation. His hands explored your body more eagerly now, caressing your curves, tracing every inch of your skin as he murmured sweet, passionate words of longing.

The heat between you two continued to intensify, your bodies pressing closer together. Every touch, every caress, every stolen kiss sent electric currents of desire through your veins. It was truly a symphony of passion, and you both were eager to explore every note and melody.

Your fingers found their way to the buttons of his shirt, deftly undoing each one as you revealed the sculpted contours of his chest. His skin was warm and smooth beneath your touch, and you couldn’t resist tracing your fingers along the lines of his muscles. His sharp intake of breath was all the encouragement you needed to continue.

His own hands weren’t idle, either, as they slid beneath your clothes, slowly teasing the sensitive skin of your lower back. You shivered at the touch, a mixture of delightful anticipation and longing snaking through your body. It was a dance of sensation, a thrilling exploration of each other’s bodies that left you both aching for more.

His lips continued their journey down your neck, leaving a trail of soft, moist kisses that made your skin tingle. You couldn’t help but arch your back more, a quiet moan escaping your lips as you kept yearning for his touch, a fire of pleasure igniting within you. The sensation of it all was exquisite, and you held onto him tightly, your nails grazing his back as you bit your lip to stifle your moans, all the while feeling the comfort of being in the arms of someone who genuinely, deeply cared for you.

As the two of you finally broke apart and just lay there, sweat still building and hearts still beating like there was no tomorrow, he sighed in content. Wrapped in the afterglow of your intense connection, he whispered, “You’re safe now, love. I honestly hope you packed enough things coming here, because…”

You eyed him curiously. “Because…?”

He smirked, giving you one more small peck on the lips. “Because you don’t have to go back to that place, to the pain your mother brought. I’ll protect you, and we’ll build a better future together.”

Your eyes widened in shock. “Then…in that case…does this mean that we’re past…?”

He smiled. “That we’re past the point of friendship? Well,” he laughed softly, “considering how the past several moments were just spent, I would believe so. Unless you would prefer otherwise?” He pulled his signature eyebrow raise that instantly made you feel weak in the knees.

“N-no, definitely not!” you stuttered, half-excited and half-nervous. “I mean…I’ve just never gotten to the point where anyone wanted to consider me like that…l-like a girlfriend, I mean.”

“Well,” he whispered near your ear, hot breath cascading down your neck with every syllable, “consider me honored to be the first.” He left a gentle trail of kisses near your collarbone before meeting you at eye level again, waiting for your response.

On the one hand you were filled with gratitude and love, brimming with hope for the future, but on the other hand memories of your past kept your heart heavy. Your throat felt tight as words became hard to say, though they formed so quickly in your mind.

Hwa noticed the shadow that crossed your face, the turmoil still swirling within you, and he gently lifted your chin to meet your gaze. “I can see the worry in your eyes,” he said, his voice tender. “You’re afraid that you’re inconveniencing me with everything now, aren’t you?”

You bit your lip and nodded, the insecurities ingrained by years of manipulation from your mother resurfacing. “I can’t help but feel like a burden sometimes. It’s just that…my mom always made me think I was, and it’s hard to shake those feelings.”

Stroking your hair, Hwa leaned his forehead against yours. “I know you’ve been carrying the weight of your past for a long time. I know you’re still coping with moments of doubt, especially from the difficult relationship you’ve had with your mother. But please, please understand that you are not defined by her words or her actions.”

You closed your eyes finally, feeling the warmth of his presence soothing your troubled soul. “I’ve tried to be strong, again and again,” you whispered. “I’ve tried to let go of the past…but it’s like a shadow that never quite disappears.”

Hwa’s voice was filled with empathy as he continued. “You don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s okay to feel vulnerable, to acknowledge your pain. You’re not a failure. You’re a survivor, and you’re so much more than the hurtful words that were thrown at you.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you finally, finally allowed them to spill over, lips trembling as you realized in that split-second how much you’d pushed to the back of your mind, how much you’d really forced yourself to hide away all these years — how much you’d feared being shunned by another as your own blood mother had for so long. “I just…I don’t w-want to b-burden you with my problems. I’m a-afraid…to be too sensitive, like she always said. Or to string you along under the guise that I’m something I’m not, like an imposter of my heritage or — ”

“Your mother’s words have no basis in reality,” Hwa began, his voice firm but gentle. “You aren’t defined by her prejudices or expectations. You aren’t a prisoner of her narrow-minded views. Y/n, you are your own person, with your own identity, and you have every right to embrace all aspects of your heritage, including the Asian part.”

Your eyes met his, wanting to believe the truth behind what he was telling you. “But, Hwa, I’m only a quarter Asian, and my mom’s made me feel like I have no right to claim that part of my identity. Plus, she makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong by having friends who aren’t white.”

He smiled softly and cupped your face, shaking his head as his eyes filled with warmth. “You are as much Asian as you are anything else. It’s not about the percentage, it’s about how you feel and what you choose to embrace. Embracing your Asian heritage doesn’t make you any less of who you are. It’s a part of your identity, and you have every right to explore and celebrate it. And your friends, no matter their ethnicity, are bringing diversity and richness to your life. I can always see the effect glowing in your eyes. Don’t ever lose that spark. It’s what adds to your amazing character, whether you know it or not. Those connections you’re always so apt to keep making just reflect the beauty of your open heart and your willingness to meet people from different backgrounds. You should be proud of the friendships you’ve built, so don’t let anyone ever make you feel otherwise.”

You felt a spark of hope kindling within you, the idea that you could embrace all facets of your identity, all features of your ethnic communities, and not be constrained by your mother’s views. You wrapped your arms around Hwa’s neck, nestling your cheek against the warmth of his chest, the steady pace of his beating heart syncing in time to your slowing breaths.

Hwa’s expression softened even more, and as he held you tighter, he looked down at you lovingly, wiping yet another stray tear. “And you are not a burden, my love. You are a gift. You bring so much light and happiness into my life, and I’m grateful for every moment we share. Your feelings are valid. I’m here because I want to be, because I care about you, and because I want to support you through this journey of healing, however long it might take. Your sensitivity is a strength, not a weakness. And it hurts me to see you carry this weight, but please know, you are cherished, and you belong here.”

His words were like a warm embrace for your soul, and you felt the tight knot of self-doubt beginning to unravel. “Thank you for being so understanding and patient with me, Hwa,” you whispered, tears of gratitude glistening in your eyes.

He leaned down to kiss your forehead and held you close. “You’re not alone in this, my love. We’ll face your past together and build a brighter future, one filled with the love and happiness you deserve. I’ll always be here to support you, to remind you of your worth, and to love you unconditionally. You’re not alone in this, and you never will be.”

You smiled slowly but surely at him again, bringing him close to you for another kiss, softer but sweeter this time around. As you nestled into his arms, the storm of your past seemed to fade away, and you basked in the love and acceptance that he offered. With each passing moment, you felt yourself healing, letting go of the guilt and insecurity that had held you back for so long.

With Hwa’s support, you felt more and more of a renewed sense of hope and determination, ready to leave behind the painful memories and look forward to the beginning of a life you could feel ready to step towards, together. A breeze began to pick up outside, as far as you both could hear, but you could care less now, your embrace and love stretching the seconds and enriching the heart in such a way as to convey just how thankful you were to have him in your life, in your arms, in your warmth, and in your future.

[hxllo-nana]

I am back once again after having both read all ur answers to my Asks. Thank u so much for loving them and some of the ideas I gave for ur HH AU. And now, having also finally finished Ep3 and Ep4 of Dead Ringer. And OMG, they were so good. I think Ep3 and Ep4 are my favorite episodes now; even though all the episodes are great.

I adore how u write everyone, but the way u write Sans (both Dust/Murder Sans and the other Sans) and Paps (both Phantom and the other Paps). As well as Chara and Frisk are esp. great and a real highlight. I have a feeling they are going to be great in Bonnytale and ur Hazbin Hotel AU, considering how u do them in Dead Ringer, and what I have seen of those AUs. Alphys is great too.

And the bits we got with Mettaton, Napsta, and Mad Mew Mew were both funny and interesting (no wonder Mettaton looked scared, he was able to tell Dust wasn't their Sans. Find it so interesting and cool how the ghost monsters can tell he isn't their Sans).

Haven't seen that much of Asgore and Toriel, but they seem sweet, and I love how they look (I really love how u give them rectangle goat eye pupils). Oh, and Flowey in Ep4 in the flashbacks was awesome! Probably one of my favorite Floweys now. Loved Flowey's dynamic with Sans and Paps too.

I now understand even more why both Sanses should be on an FBI watchlist now. I will say more about this in a reblog or something that I am planning on doing talking about Dead Ringer, because I don't want to bombard ur Asks so much and stuff.

(Edit: This has gotten longer than expected. And I am going to have to do separate Asks anyways again. Lol. I do still plan to probably say even more in reblogs, comments, or whatever though).

But I will say this; God, do I love when Sans more moral grayness and/or dark sides and stuff are explored, and do that VERY well. They are both so twisted, to a point, that I don't even know which Sans is more twisted (will say more about this in my reblog or whatever, hopefully). They are both so supremely screwed up.

(I am pretty damn sure the flashbacks - which btw in one of those flashbacks, one of the later ones, the fricken art that focused on Sans and his blue eye and the leaves or something in the BG when he was talking about Frisk and their utter hatred for them and other disturbing stuff and then flashing over to a more of a Dust Sans, looking Sans in Judgement Hall all in red was freaking gorgeous, terrifying, and haunting. Man, Sans' blue eye, can be just as terrifying and cold, if not, even more so sometimes, as Dust's more red ones. I wonder how Sans' yellow eye could look in ur style -

(We see in Ep4 is the Sans, Dust is trying to replace, not Dust, and then there is the stuff that gets revealed when Phantom conjures up mimics of both their brothers and stuff. Frisk not wanting to say stuff about their Sans to Dust Sans, when he was questioning them, and the stuff at the very end, after Chara calls him. What he says in the blue text against the black BG. And/or etc. And Dust being twisted is very self-explanatory, I think.

(If I am right about this, that makes that really cool and pretty art that showed the title of the episode, that showed two 2 different Sanses, and I think a scarf, but dead Paps, and alive Paps, even better than it already was).

I am happy both Paps do understand that their brothers (Sans) do love them both very much, in their own, Sans and/or twisted ways, at least.

The two Paps's bonding about their Sanses both being miserable cowards, that don't tell them anything, and push them away, and won't show their pain and suffering, and won't let people in/help them, and how their Sanses do both love them very much, was somehow sad, heartwarming, funny, and messed up all at once.

Ep3 and 4 were very funny at times too; while also being very dark at times. Sometimes they were both funny and dark. Esp. stuff with Sans (both Sanses), Paps (both Paps's), Chara, and Frisk. Flowey too. Though, it makes sense to me, they could have dark humor and/or things could be both funny and dark, considering how these characters are. It is fitting.

Oh, Alphys was also quite funny in the episodes. And Metta got a chuckle or 2 from me. 1/?.

hai again >:3

hehe i love the character analysis u have of them here (AND HAPPY U POINTED OUT THAT THE GHOST MONSTERS ARE ABLE TO SENSE IT HELL YEAH)

i find exploring the characters, dark sides to be fun mwehehe, especially when it come to portraying them correctly. usually people will get too focused on one aspect (dark/comedy side of their personality) and dismiss the other. I want to be able to capture that perfect balance of unsettledness and fun sides of all the characters, especially the brothers <3

Deadringer is a big focus on the colors purple, red, and yellow, so i might not show Sans with his yellow eye despite him doing it a lot in canon, though his yellow eye would be in bonnytale 100%, underhell maybe

hehe, i’m glad you liked this ep! i don’t mind the asks they make me giddy >:)

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt: Wei Wuxian has achieved time travel! He's gonna fix so many broken things. Unfortunately, WWX has miscalculated a teensy tiny variable and instead of arriving in his original 15yo body in Lotus Pier, he's crash landed in MXY's tiny 7~8yo body at Mo Manor. But no problem, he can fix this if he can just find his real body. (Meanwhile, Yunmeng Jiang's head disciple is acting the wrong kind of childish, aka, Mo Xuanyu is having the weirdest day of his young life.)

Switcheroo - ao3

Mo Xuanyu thought that this Wei Wuxian person whose body he’d stolen must have been a really interesting person, mostly because he’d been here for three days so far and nobody’d noticed the switch yet.

Possibly it had to do with the fact that Mo Xuanyu still wasn’t exactly sure how he’d stolen the body – he’d just gone to sleep in the shed, same as always, and then he’d woken up in the softest bed he’d ever encountered in his life…no, softer than even his dreams! He’d thought it over and concluded that he must have died from cold out in the shed, turned into a fierce ghost out of resentment, grown powerful (somehow), then stolen some rich young master’s body when they weren’t paying close enough attention and, once he’d possessed the body, promptly lost all his memory of being a ghost.

It seemed like the only logical course of events.

He was very sorry about it, though. Wei Wuxian seemed like a nice, if very unusual person.

The first day, Mo Xuanyu had barely even noticed the body-switch, being quite so enamored of the soft bed he was in – he’d refused to get out of bed at all, declaring that he was going to lie in and sleep for a century or more, and the people who’d come to the door to get him didn’t beat him or anything over it, but rather just laughed or rolled their eyes and then left him to it. Luckily, at the time, he’d just assumed he was dead or something and proceeded to ignore everything in favor of napping.

He only acknowledged that he was alive later in the afternoon, when his stomach started growling – it seemed like a very unlikely thing for a dead man’s stomach to do.

Mo Xuanyu had by that point figured out that he wasn’t himself anymore, which was fine since he didn’t much like himself; he’d also figured out, through looking himself over, that he was old now. At least fifteen or sixteen, which was twice the age he last remembered himself being. That was fine, too, though: being older meant that he was stronger and faster and would be better able to handle it when people wanted to beat him or something. Most importantly, though, it meant he was old enough to enter the kitchen on his own!

Mo Xuanyu already knew that he wasn’t allowed to eat at the main table, being only the bastard son of the younger daughter, and the cook back at home was a fierce woman who didn’t allow anyone under the age of ten into her kitchen; as a result, he had to wait for his mother to bring him back some food, and it was always cold and not quite enough. Now, though, since he was older, he figured he might as well try to go to the kitchen and fill his belly that way.

Luckily, while his current body’s house was much bigger than the Mo house, all houses were generally built along the same lines, so it wasn’t hard to find the kitchen. Everyone there laughed when he showed up, even though he’d tried to be very quiet and sneak in and then screwed it up by tripping over his own feet – it seemed like everyone thought he was doing it on purpose to be funny – and then the cooks gave him a meal of his own that was hot and fresh and wonderful.

He'd wolfed it down.

“Honestly, Wei Wuxian, you eat like a hungry ghost, you’d think the Jiang clan starves you,” one of them scolded him, but with a smile, and from that Mo Xuanyu learned that the rich young master was called Wei Wuxian and that he lived with the Jiang clan. The different surnames confused him a little, but he didn’t dare ask any questions about it, so he just stuffed his mouth and pretended that was the reason he couldn’t answer.

No one questioned it.

No one questioned it when he went wandering all around instead of doing whatever chores or duties he’d been assigned, either. Someone had actually seen him hovering by a door and asked him to bring back a pheasant when he returned, so out of lack of better options he’d headed outside to try to go find one.

He had a pretty good time walking around the forest, then remembered what he’d been asked and chased the pheasants for a while, without success . Fortunately, he then got lucky and stumbled over an old snare that had three pheasants caught inside, so he’d picked up the whole box and carted it back home.

“Three,” one of the boys in purple-blue marveled as he saw Mo Xuanyu walking towards the kitchen. “You know, people say that the birds around the Lotus Pier have gotten too smart to be caught easily, but look at our da-shixiong; he makes it look easy!”

From this, Mo Xuanyu could figure out that Wei Wuxian was (apparently!) part of a cultivator clan, apparently located at a place called the Lotus Pier, and that he was the oldest or at least head disciple, to boot. He knew all about cultivator clans from his mother, since apparently his father had been a sect leader, and that meant he knew enough to call the other boy ‘shidi’ as he passed, making the other boy beam happily.

It also meant that when he chanced a guess and called the young woman in a pretty pink dress who waved at him ‘shijie’, she smiled and nodded, which meant to him that he’d done the right thing.

“I heard you slept even more of the morning away than usual,” she told him, but didn’t seem too upset about it. “I bet that means you’ll be skipping dinner and staying up all night, hmm?”

Mo Xuanyu had no intention of skipping dinner if it was anything like what the kitchens had given him earlier, actually, but while he was still trying to figure out a way to say that, she said, leaning in close to whisper, “It’s probably a good idea, anyway – Mother and Father are fighting again. Just go to the kitchens to grab something…I promise I’ll make it up to you with some soup tomorrow, pork ribs and lotus roots, your favorite. All right?”

“Shijie, you’re the best,” Mo Xuanyu said effusively, willing to die for her at once, and she laughed and tousled his hair.

“I am,” she said, looking happy. “And if my little A-Xian stays good and obedient, I may even feed him.”

She did, too, the next day when he finally tore himself out of the beautiful wonderful soft bed and went to go find her. She’d made him soup, just as he’d promised, and laughed and laughed for some reason: apparently, she interpreted him being quiet and not talking too much as his efforts to be ‘good and obedient’, which was apparently so out of the ordinary as to be a deliberate joke.

From this, Mo Xuanyu concluded that the young master he’d possessed, Wei Wuxian, was a jackass.

Well, perhaps that was a bit harsh. Arrogant and self-centered, talented and brave and probably brilliant, definitely charming and maybe even kind, but also spoiled and inclined to step on other people to get where he wanted to go, if Mo Xuanyu had to guess – why else would everyone constantly react as if him not being obnoxious was the world’s biggest stunt?

No one seemed to expect anything of him at all: he didn’t do any chores, and no one batted an eyelid; he didn’t go where he was told, and everyone just sighed…at one point the sect leader himself came and patted him on the head, scolding him in a joking tone that he hadn’t seen him leading any of the training the way he was supposed to – but when Mo Xuanyu quailed, he’d burst out laughing, telling ‘Wei Wuxian’ to stop pretending to be a scared little rabbit, that it was fine if he’d gotten distracted by some clever new invention or whatever, that someone else would handle it, that he should take as long as he needed.

Mo Xuanyu had pasted a great big smile on his face through force of effort and agreed cheerfully.

The sect leader had accepted it.

Probably a jackass, but clearly a beloved one, Mo Xuanyu thought to himself as he packed up clothing and a few small treasures that no one would miss, a little wistful. The scare of the whole encounter had put things in perspective – he wasn’t going to be able to keep up this sort of façade for long. In fact, he was shocked he’d managed it so long already; surely, no matter how many pranks this Wei Wuxian played, no matter how childishly he behaved, surely someone should’ve noticed that he was actually an eight-year-old masquerading as a sixteen-year-old?

Mo Xuanyu couldn’t decide whether it was sad that no one paid too much attention or something that this Wei Wuxian fellow had brought down on his own head by being so consistently annoying.

Either way, there was nothing for it – he was going to have to leave.

Now that part was really sad: he’d never in his life had such good food, or such a soft bed, or even so many people that just seemed plain old happy to see him as since he’d arrived in this place. But he wasn’t the one all those things were for; he was just a sad ghost possessing a person, and if he stayed, the cultivators would eventually figure out something was wrong and exorcise him.

Probably violently.

Mo Xuanyu probably deserved it, too, but despite that he wasn’t willing.

So he packed up what he could and headed out.

He got all the way to the gate before a new purple-clad disciple – about his age, if he had to guess, and holding a pack like he’d just come back from a trip, with a scowl on his face – called out for Wei Wuxian.

Mo Xuanyu waved a little, hoping that that would be enough.

For the first time, it wasn’t.

The boy’s face settled into an even deeper scowl.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you?” he demanded. “Wei Wuxian! You’re acting all weird – hey! Where are you going?”

Mo Xuanyu was running away, obviously. He wasn’t about to get tied up and exorcised, no thank you.

He didn’t think he’d make it, but it was still worth trying.

Sure enough, the purple-clad boy who was probably called Jiang Cheng, based on what everyone was calling out as they ran by, got tired of running and jumped on his sword, and there was no way Mo Xuanyu would be able to outrun a sword, not even if he tried as fast as he –

Someone picked him up.

It wasn’t Jiang Cheng.

Mo Xuanyu turned his head and stared.

It must be some sort of yao, he thought. Humans were definitely not that pretty.

“Lan Wangji!” Jiang Cheng howled. “What are you even doing in the Lotus Pier?! Put my shixiong down!”

The rescuer, Lan Wangji, frowned a little at Mo Xuanyu.

Mo Xuanyu didn’t know exactly what expression he ought to be making in return, and was a bit too dazed to even dare to guess. He’d just noticed that they were flying – flying! on a sword! – and he was clutching onto this Lan Wangji’s shoulders for dear life.

“You are not Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said. His voice sounded very definitive.

“Uh,” Mo Xuanyu said. “Sorry? Please don’t drop me.”

“I will not. What is your name?”

“Mo Xuanyu,” Mo Xuanyu admitted, and Lan Wangji’s eyes widened as if that meant something to him – except it couldn’t, of course, because Mo Xuanyu was sure he’d never met anyone even remotely like this Lan Wangji fellow in his life. “I don’t remember taking his body. I’m sorry. Can you not exorcise me? I don’t want to die.”

Lan Wangji was silent for a long moment.

He was still flying very fast, and Jiang Cheng was still following, shouting out curses and demands that he stop, not that Lan Wangji was listening.

“There will be no exorcism,” he finally said, and Mo Xuanyu exhaled in relief. “We will, however, fix this.”

“…we?”

“Wei Ying and myself.”

Mo Xuanyu nodded. That sounded more likely than anyone relying on his participation.

“Where are we going?” he asked. Jiang Cheng was falling further and further behind.

“Mo Village.”

Mo Xuanyu tensed up at once.

“You will not be left there,” Lan Wangji clarified, and – how did he know that Mo Xuanyu didn’t want to be left there? “But we must collect Wei Ying, who I suspect is currently in your body.”

“In my…I’m still alive?”

Lan Wangji was quiet again, and then said, “Yes. And you will remain so.”

That was reassuring, mostly.

“Okay,” Mo Xuanyu said, and found that he mostly felt relieved. He’d be very happy to have his normal body back again, if possible, especially if he didn’t have to stay in Mo Village…“Wait, if I don’t have to stay there, where will I go? I don’t have anywhere else to go, unless my father comes back for me. He's a sect leader –”

“He will not, and even if he did, you should not go with him. Once Wei Ying returns to his body, you will be able to stay at the Lotus Pier. If you do not wish to stay there, I will bring you back to the Cloud Recesses – that is my home – instead.”

“Oh,” Mo Xuanyu said, feeling bewildered. That was an awfully nice offer, even if Lan Wangji was feeling guilty about Wei Wuxian stealing his body by accident – which seemed like what had happened here rather than Mo Xuanyu being the one who did the stealing. Maybe he should go with Lan Wangji instead, he seemed much more responsible than Wei Wuxian was, rushing over to rescue him and explain things instead of throwing him into a body and leaving him all alone in a strange place. But on the other hand… “Is the Cloud Recesses…I mean…no offense, but…does it have…”

“Yes?”

“Does it have soft beds, too? And – and hot food?”

Mo Xuanyu didn’t need much, not really. He looked eagerly at Lan Wangji, who had an odd expression on his face briefly before wiping it back to neutral and nodding in confirmation.

“Okay,” Mo Xuanyu said, and curled up in Lan Wangji’s arms. “Then I’ll stay with you. You can take care of me.”

“I will,” Lan Wangji said, sounding strangely serious. “In return for the gift you last gave me – I will.”

[bcdwhcre]

Oml I've had this request idea for so long so I was wondering how you'd do it. How about some headcanons/little scenarios of Levi, Erwin, and Hanji getting caught making out with their fem so by someone else in the scouts? 😏 This has been in my head so LONG soooo I feel like you would portray it well

“Caught,” Levi x Erwin x Hange Headcanons

okay okaaaay cute idea🥺

Summary: getting caught making out with your s/o by another scout.

Warnings: implied smut with Erwin

Fem!Reader

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Levi:

He’s always been the type to be clingy and openly affectionate in private. He never really liked PDA or even being flirty with you in front of others. He liked to cherish you behind the closed doors and show you how much he loves you there.

It never bothered you, you were always professional when it came to your work so you agreed with him about not wanting to show too much of your relationship to the other Scouts.

One day Levi was more clingy than usual, he said it was only because he had a nightmare about losing you and it felt too real. The entire day when no one was looking, he would touch you in any way he could. Grabbing your hand, touching your lower back. He felt like he needed some slight touch of yours to be reminded you were still here.

Around the afternoon, he had forced you to stop your work and come to his office. It had bugged you but you couldn’t sit there and complain about Levi wanting to be around you for every second.

He was just a teddy bear, very hands on and loving so him having a dream about you no longer being here- it had crushed him in ways he couldn’t explain. He was deeply in love with you, he couldn’t handle losing you so the slight dream just fed into his insecurities and anxiety that he had to be around you.

As you stepped inside his office after knocking, his eyes lit up when he seen you and instantly stood up from his desk as you walked over. His arms embraced you in a tight hug, his lips kissing the side of your head and a sigh of relief slipped out of his mouth.

“Why did you call me here?” You mumbled, rubbing his back and he grunted under his breath, his eyes moving to look at you.

“Just missed you is all.” He barely said loud enough for you to hear, feeling embarassed for admitting that out loud. He felt dumb for bothering you and taking you away from your work to see him but he felt like he needed it desperately.

“Hm, because you missed me?” You teased, making him roll his eyes and his hands grabbed a hold of your cheeks firmly, staring into your eyes.

“Yes,” He quietly said, admiring you as his thumbs rubbed over your soft skin.

Time felt like it had frozen still just for a moment, his eyes burning into yours and another huff escaped his mouth as he tried to rid the insecurities he had replaying in his head.

You could tell how frustrated he really was, he hated to be deep into thought about everything- especially when it came to negative thoughts. You moved your hands to rest on his sides, gripping onto the material of his shirt and tugged him closer.

You wanted to take away his troubles, his thoughts and his anxiety. You wish you could easily take it from his hands and deal with it yourself, he deserved to be happy everyday.

As you felt his thumbs brush over your cheeks, you leaned up to press your lips on his. A gentle kiss but it definitely made him feel better, making all the stress slip off his shoulders and replaced with love and butterflies.

His hands stayed firmly on your cheeks, afraid of letting you go but also not wanting you to pull back from his lips. He just needed this a little longer. He had tilted his head, leaning more into your mouth as both of your lips moved in sync with one another.

Suddenly the door had opened up, Armin and Jean walking inside while calling for Levi before noticing the scene before them, making them freeze in the doorway and made the both of you break apart and glance back at the door.

All four of you stared at each other, the awkward tension and not really knowing what to say about what had just happened. Your relationship wasn’t a secret, no, but it wasn’t clear if everyone knew about it or not considering you two aren’t much of a pda type couple.

Armin and Jean’s eyes were wide, they had no clue about your relationship so walking in felt like they violated your privacy and saw something they weren’t supposed to see.

Levi grew frustrated, staring at the both of them and crossed his arms over his chest as he gave them a cold stare.

“You either speak on why you’re here or leave.” He simply said, causing the both of them to stumble on their words and Armin ended up just grabbing Jean and dragging him out of the office.

“We’re so sorry, we didn’t see anything. Ignore us.” Armin rushed out, grabbing the door and shut it, hearing them panic as they go down the hall,

“You scared the poor boys.” You glanced over at Levi, making him roll his eyes and meet your gaze.

“Maybe they should learn how to knock.”

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Erwin:

Erwin is the type of person who likes to have everyone know you’re his but he’s also very professional in his work and making sure that his work and your relationship don’t intertwine and ruin one another.

He’s always kept his head screwed on and he always treated you more like a colleague while working and you always done the same to him. He cared a lot about his job, it was one of his favorite things along with you.

So, it didn’t bother you to have him focus on his work during the day and come home to cherish you ten times more. It was a good mixture to keep the relationship healthy and stable.

But one particular day, you found yourself a bit more needier and trying to go about your work as if nothing is wrong was bugging you. You couldn’t help but think of Erwin repeatedly, the other night replaying in your head of him touching you in all the right places.

It was really starting to annoy you, sure this has happened before but the other times it was easy to manage and ignore. This time it just was on the tip of your brain, repeating like a broken record and it was starting to make you go crazy as you keep catching yourself zoning out and daydreaming about it

You were stationed on the opposite side of the base, trying to concentrate on the plan for the expedition coming up and as you sat there trying to listen, it was getting more evident that you were dozing off into thought.

After a while there was a meeting that had to be held with most of the Scouts, mainly the higher ups, to discuss the next expedition but you were too lost in your train of thought to even realize what they were saying.

“Y/N.” Levi snapped his fingers in your face and your eyes shot up to meet his, the scary plain look on his face and you could automatically tell he was irritated.

Erwin had looked across the room, noticing you zoning out and he tried not to think too hard about it, you two were at work- not at home but he felt like there was something wrong, maybe you were upset or too in a depressing mood to work.

As the meeting went on, it had finished up and Erwin had asked for you to come to his office and at first you thought that he had caught on and it had actually excited you a bit but the both of your thoughts were far from similar.

Once you stepped inside, you turn to face him as he shut his door and you reached out to grab a hold of his hands. He had looked at you with concern and before he could ask you what’s going on, you had smashed your lips onto his.

He was a bit taken back but he couldn’t deny that he liked the sudden kiss from you and he wasn’t too phased since it was inside his office. Your hands had moved up to cup his cheeks and eventually sliding them back to tangle in his hair, both of your lips molded together.

Suddenly the door had creaked open and someone had grunted loud enough for the both of you to hear. Erwin had ripped away from you, both of your eyes moving to meet with Levi’s as he shot you both a disgusting look.

“Please, there’s a lock on the door for a reason.” He rolled his eyes, walking inside and slamming the papers on Erwin’s desk before returning to the door.

“My apologies.” Erwin spoke, making you hold back a laugh at how red his face was from embarrassment.

“Tch, save it. Just lock the fucking door.” Levi shut the door behind him and that’s when a laugh had slipped past your lips.

Erwin was completely flustered, his cheeks heated up and the look of fear knowing Levi had caught the both of you making out. You didn’t find it that much of a big deal, it was Erwin’s office after all- not his fault that Levi didn’t know how to knock.

“Whats so funny?” He raised his eyebrows in amusement at your small fit of giggles as you shook your head.

“It’s funny how flustered you are.”

“I’m not flustered.”

“Hun, your face is more red than a tomato.” You pointed out and he huffed out a breath, moving to sit down at his desk trying to rid of the thoughts of being walked in on.

“C’mon, it’s not that bad. We were just kissing.” You teased, leaning over his desk to place another kiss on his lips and he looked up at you, the small smile edging in his lips.

Erwin remained silent, his large hand reaching up and caressing one of your cheeks as his thumb brushed over you skin slowly. He released another breath, the sight of you instantly making his nerves calm down and the embarrassment slip away.

“Still humiliating.” He said sacrastically, a gentle chuckle leaving his lips and you rolled your eyes.

“Better get over that thought because I’m not finished with you yet.” You mumbled, grabbing a hold of his chin and he had looked at you surprised.

You couldn’t care less about Levi walking in, your main thoughts were still on your boyfriend and the previous thoughts you’ve been having all day and being seen making out wasnt going to stop you from getting what you wanted.

“Oh?” He simply said, collecting his thoughts and finally realizing what you had been talking about and it made him realize why you’ve been zoning out all day. It made sense.

“This time, lock the door.”

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Hange:

Now, Hange never cared what anyone thought whether it was about her or her work so she wasn’t ashamed or phased in the slightest when she got into a relationship and she sure wasn’t embarrassed to show it off and to show you off.

But you, on the other hand, were the opposite. You were really shy and awkward when it came to opening up and you were always flustered when it came to the Scouts teasing you about your relationship.

You weren’t embarrassed or ashamed to be with her, you were more than in love with her but you weren’t used to this sort of attention, you’ll admit that she’s actually your first relationship so you were still getting used to it.

You worked under her, being apart of her team and helping her with a lot of research studies she was obsessed with, that was the main reason why you two gotten so close.

As you stood inside her little lab, sitting on a stool and reading over papers while she mumbled to herself about some theory she was testing out. You glanced over at her when her mumbling got louder. Hange is always unaware when she starts talking to herself when working, you thought it was cute.

All of a sudden a loud excited scream left her lips, almost startling you and she jumped up.

“I figured it out!” She laughed more to herself, completely forgetting you were in the room as she grabbed her pen and began to scribble down on her journal.

“Figured what out?” You spoke, your eyes turning back to the paper before you and her eyes shot towards you.

“Something about Eren’s titan form.” She couldn’t hold back the excitement running through her veins as the adrenaline was pumping through, making her more hyper than ever.

She went over to where you were, her arms wrapping around you from behind and she glanced over your shoulder to see what you were reading before sliding it away from your vision.

You turned your head, raising a eyebrow all while the butterflies swarmed your stomach when her grip around you tightened, her lips planting a gentle kiss on your cheek, making your cheeks grow red.

“What?” You asked, noticing how concentrated she was on you and you were almost convinced you had something on your face.

“Nothing nothing, I’m just happy is all.” Her voice was low, making a small smile come across your lips.

Hange couldn’t help the overwhelming amount of love she had for you. She was deeply in love, more than she can explain out loud and it was never her intention to fall for one of her cadets or anyone in the Scouts period.

But the day you came in after the training corps, set on being under her team and wanting to work with her little experiments and loving her theories just as much as she did- she suddenly fell right into that deep hole with you.

She always thought that she would only be in love with her work and her job. She never seen herself with anyone before you only because everyone thought she was crazy for being so obsessive over the Titans and wanting to learn their way of thinking and behavior.

But you, pushed her in the right direction and always gave her good advice and made her feel more confident in her work, even though she was pretty confident before but having you was like a big bonus.

You could tell she had gotten lost in her train of thought again, she always zoned out and thought about you and it was always cute to see. Soon she had snapped out of her, her attention back onto you and she leaned down to press her lips on yours.

It was a soft kiss, definitely meaningful to the both of you. Your hand moved up to cup her cheek to keep her in place, tilting your head and leaning more into her. The small make out session was starting to get heated pretty fast but it ended abruptly when the door had opened, both of your eyes shooting over to the door to see Eren.

“Oh- I’m sorry, I didn’t- I wasn’t- I didn’t see anything.” He stuttered, quickly walking out and shutting the door behind him.

“Don’t worry about it, kid!” Hange shouted as Eren’s face turned bright red, quickly walking down the hallway and away from the room, trying to rid the scene he just witnessed.

She turned to look back at you, your face completely flustered and bright red again. The embarrassment lingered over your head like a rainy cloud and she couldn’t help but laugh at it.

“So humiliating.” You mumbled, shaking your head as you looked down to hide your face considering how hot your skin was.

She quickly grabbed your chin and tilted your head up to look at her, the small smirk on her face had made you almost melt beneath her fingertips. Her lips kissed your red cheek a few times, trying to hold back her laugh.

“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s his fault he barged in here.”

“I’m still embarrassed.”

“Don’t be!”

.

.

.

Anywhooooo, been a long few days. 🥺

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[alluringjae]

all i do is wait - kdy

All I Do Is Wait | So Close

⤑ summary: one day, kim doyoung was alive. the next, he wasn’t. he left you and the world too soon, but he made a promise: to look out and wait for you until the very end.

⤑ pairing: doyoung x female reader

⤑ word count: 22.7k

⤑ genre: angst (so much longing), major slow burn, fluff (if you squint really well), slight unprotected smut (not my forté) | ghost!doyoung, hotel del luna!au,  slight college!au, 40s to 90s!au (loads of flashbacks)

⤑ warnings: death, grief, explicit language, sexism (screw the patriarchy omfg), mentions and scenes of alcohol, drinking, smoking, war, unplanned pregnancy, childbirth, and abortion, ghost possession of humans (in like one scene only tbh)

⤑ playlist: fly away with me by nct 127 | all about you by taeyeon | doll by baekhyun and doyoung | give you my heart by iu | wait by exo | like a fool by nive and sam kim | falling by harry styles | lovers by anna of the north | fallingforyou by the 1975 | you are the sunshine of my life by stevie wonder

⤑ long author’s note: minors, beware of the warnings! i highly recommend you watch the kdrama beforehand so you would understand the universe, even if majority of the characters are from my imagination. i also did some prior historical research. though there are inaccuracies, this story is just fiction. importantly, i don’t own the hotel del luna series; they serve as the main inspiration but with some of my twists. i’m also bit rough with writing lately, so there’s also room for improvement. overall, prepare your heart.

i cried so much in the process.

italicized texts symbolize conversations in a dream call. *wink* *wink*

⤑ gif above not mine, ctto!  leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

After all decades of waiting, it’s finally time.

As a soul still wandering in the living world, Doyoung’s options were limited. To peacefully go ahead into the afterlife or wait for his lover by working in the hotel for ghosts until she passed.

He’d chosen the latter, the betrayal he felt from the deities to have gone so soon.

And leave you behind.

But first, let’s take a trip down Doyoung’s journey; life, death, and after it.

1948

Kim Doyoung came from a well-off family. He was a university student, taking up journalism as a pre-law course. He wanted to right the wrongs and let justice prevail. Blessed by his privilege, he wanted to be of service to others who cannot afford it.

Both of you crossed paths at a university in Busan as seatmates. Right after the South Korean constitution granted women’s rights to education, immediately you aimed high and applied for the top universities in the city. After being homeschooled and self-studying under the books, the opportunity to go to an actual school was like a dream come true especially when you received acceptance letters from all of them.

Your first impression of him was that he was moody and quite snobby. When you politely asked him once if you can take a peek at his notes because you lost track of the professor’s lecture, he refused with an annoyed glare.

“You should try harder then.” You nodded in gratitude anyways, taking those words to encourage you. Though it still stung.

When classes that day concluded, you were so ready to return to the women’s dorm and take a breather from men. Since you were far from your village, maybe you would give a call to your father, your mentor all your life to seek his guidance on your professors’ lessons. Once you found your bike and placing your books on the basket in front, a light tap on your shoulder caught you off-guard and almost made you topple over.

“Oh, sh-”

“Oh my, I’m sorry for scaring you like that.”

When you directed your body to the source, it was none other than Kim Doyoung. He removed his blazer from class, resting it on his arm. He wore these suspenders and leather loafers, sporting the rich, preppy boy look. His eyes looked softer, apologetic by the way he gave a slight pout.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. It was rude of me to shun you like that.”

Unfortunately, it was rare to find young men like him to own up to their mistakes When you’re the only woman in that class, the majority of the boys are either snickering with judgment at your presence.

“Women are only meant to stay at home.”

“She’s weak. She won’t last here with the deep, legal terminologies the professors use.” Those insults aren’t new to you.

Doyoung seemed like a plot twist in the social narrative. You were surprised, to say the least, yet relieved.

“Oh, it’s okay. Considering I interrupted you from listening to the professor, I could’ve waited after class or as you said, study harder.” You accepted.

Doyoung still felt awful for his attitude, fiddling his briefcase. He struggled to express himself through words, understanding why many had this impression of him being cold. If he were to be honest, his actual initial impression of you was that you were hardworking and resilient, setting a new example of the modern woman. He thought that being too soft on you in class may look degrading, thus his statement from the class was just him treating you the same way as other boys who don’t study hard enough. Unfortunately, it backfired completely.

As a man who grew up with the belief to always pay respect to everyone without discrimination, he had to make it up to you somehow.

“It’s still wrong of me to say that to you, (Y/N). So-” He trailed on, opening his case to bring out one of his notebooks. Without hesitating, he handed it to you. “I took as many notes from the lecture on fallacies here. If there’s any way I can help you in the future, I’m more than willing to help you.”

This newfound kindness from a boy in this patriarchal university may be the silver lining in your current stay. You weren’t too sure if you would get a chance like this in the coming years, so you gladly took it. Noticing the engraved “K.DY” on the lower right side of it, which were his initials, it’s easy to identify that he was rich. But his attitude was different than the others.

Placing it carefully in the front basket, you steadied your body to the handles and pedals of the bike. “Thank you for this, Doyoung. I will return it to you as soon as possible.”

Knowing he was of help to you, he flashed a gummy smile. “No problem, (Y/N). If you want, we can review it before class too just in case the professor gives another surprise quiz.”

You let out a laugh, being reminded of your horrified face on a previous surprise quiz in the past. “Oh god, I flunked that quiz! Damn him.”

Ever since that conversation, it’s where your friendship started.

Going to university became more enjoyable and less daunting, having Doyoung defend you from other boys (even if you’ve told him so many times that you can handle it). After you found out that Doyoung’s status was more elite than you assumed, a lot of boys wouldn’t want to try and test him since their family lines would be at risk. You had a better focus on your academics, and if it weren’t for you, other girls attending university with you would’ve never thought women students would befriend the men. You were the shift in the narrative.

As lucky as you are to have a female support system in the patriarchal university, you found yourself always hanging out with Doyoung. He was filled with so much compassion in his heart and there were beliefs that you both surprisingly shared in your conservative society, deepening your bond. One of them was the sexist view of women as low-status people. He told you one time that thinking that way is like thinking his loving mother is undeserving of things in life. It’s an unacceptable concept, he added. You even met his mother at some point, and she’s a sweetheart.

Another was having the frustration towards those who shame on women who want to study and learn rather than to submit to the power of men so early in their lives.

“I’m so sick of people telling me to stop studying and settle down with some random boy. There’s just so much to learn out here!” You complained. It was one hot weekend that time, and you were both relaxing under the shade of a big tree by a flowing river. That spot is hidden, thus claiming it as your spot. Doyoung leaned by the tree reading while you rested on his lap. At this point, you’ve grown very comfortable with him. Doyoung sighed, putting his book to discuss his thoughts.

“Agreed. You seriously deserve so much better, (Y/N). People today just don’t get it.”

Huffing away that stress, your head tilted to get a better view of Doyoung.

“Doyoung, do you think things will get better for women in the future?” He admired your hopefulness in times of trouble. Stroking your hair to soothe you, he gave a positive reply.

“If we keep fighting for it, then we’ll progress. So let’s not give up, okay?” Your heart couldn’t help but leap.

As he looked at you with blooming flowers from the tree in the background, it was a matter of time where your initial feelings for him diverted into something more. The concept of butterflies in your stomach was only introduced to Doyoung in novels, but he wondered if it’s the exact feeling he was getting from you. From your intelligence to your sharp tongue to fight back the rude boys, the list goes on all the traits that he liked about you.

Weeks later, the questionable status of your friendship changed after he unexpectedly kissed you for the first time while stargazing at your special spot. It caught you off guard at first as your lips froze, him pulling away immediately. He rubbed the nape of his neck out of embarrassment, struggling to maintain eye contact with you.

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I screwed up everything, didn’t I?”

As much as the heat in your cheeks increased, you couldn’t deny that you liked it. You’re bold enough to do it again.

“Nope,” you shook your head at him. “Kiss me again, Doyoung.”

Like a movie, the first snow of the season drizzled down on the two of you.

Feeling braver, he leaned forward again to meet your lips again. You may not be experienced physically since it was your first, but that’s what all those romance novels you’ve browsed through are for. Forget the fireworks, people would compare the ideal kiss. It was more like everything paused so this moment can run on its momentum. Lips still locked, Doyoung gripped your waist so you can sit on his lap. As the friction intensified, his lungs needed to breathe for a second. Pulling away slowly, it was an opportunity to take a good look at you. Flustered, messy hair, swollen lips, he would’ve never known that the feelings were mutual.

“First kiss under the first snow? I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

1950

Dating Doyoung gave you the best two years of your life. He’d bike with you to your spot, recommend you new books to read, cook for you when you’re too lazy to at the dorm, and take you around the city he was ever so familiar with.

“Oh c’mon, let’s try this out!”

You dragged his arm to this new contraption that can take your photos in a flash. This was at an annual city fair, your first time to attend one. Because your small village couldn’t cater to these kinds of events, you beamed with excitement with all the amusement outlets such as rides, games and more. All Doyoung wanted was to eat and play few games, then return. He wasn’t much for photos, but because it was your first, he decided to go for it. Two people couldn’t fit the cushion, so you settled on his lap. One arm wrapped behind his neck, you inserted a few coins to activate the machine.

“So we have a few seconds before it starts, so you better smile, okay?” He ordered you based on the instructions of the machine.

The first shot was matching grins, the second showed your bright smiles, the third let your creativity wild with silly expressions, and the last was him pecking your cheek unexpectedly. The authentic surprise was captured.

“Let’s take another one so you can have a copy.” You insisted, searching through the small pockets of your purse for more coins.

“(Y/N), it’s okay. I don’t want-” He was cut off by the machine activating again as your coins entered inside.

“Too late, smile!” The first shot almost caught Doyoung in a frenzy, but he pulled it off with an open smile. The second expressed your laughter from your slyness, him sporting crinkled eyes when you let your tongue out and placed your hands near the temples of your head to mock him. To sort out your playfulness, Doyoung surprised you by grabbing your wrists to place them back on his shoulders. Without a breath, one free hand tugged you closer and his lips shut you up. You deepened your kiss by leaning forward and fisting the hems of his buttoned-up top. Kissing back was natural, not caring where you were and if the camera snapped your moment of intimacy. Doyoung always liked taming you with his kisses. You didn’t mind making out for a bit in the booth if it weren’t for the loud knocking from the side put a stop to your risqué antics.

“Yah! Take your making out session someplace, other people are waiting outside!”

The both of you could care less, laughing mid-kissing at the disturbance you’ve caused. It’s a thing when you’re young and in love, perhaps. Eventually, innocent kisses ignited an invitation to his bed.

“I’ve never done this before, but I want to do it with you.” You gave your full consent, laying on his soft bed in your undergarments. His entire family went on vacation, so you took advantage of it.

The way he crawled on top of you, his slender hands spreading your legs wide open like another novel waiting to be unraveled. Erotica was a genre you never explored, but Doyoung finds it as his guilty pleasure. Who would’ve known that the most prestigious, gentleman-like man of the university found amusement in sex? His lingering touches intoxicated your entirety, allowing him access. His tongue did you wonders, releasing these sensations you’ve never known was possible. Tugging on his hair as he passionately devoured your core for the first time, this knot in your core unwound and your vision went white for a split second. This rush of pleasure and exhaustion filled your veins, yet you craved more.

That night, giving each other your virginities, marked the first time you declared your love for each other.

Though there are times when dating wasn’t easy either, having prying eyes around you with judgment and the unavoidable stress from university, you’d sort things out in the end. After all, it’s in fights and arguments where you learn more about each other and grow from it.

If someone asked you to settle down already, Doyoung is the first candidate for your hand. You’ve sent letters to your parents talking about him and met his family.

“You’re the only girl who softens him up in this society of uptight men.” His mother whispered when you helped her wash the dishes after dinner.

As much light he brought to your life those two years being together, it turned into the worst and something questionable when the Korean war began.

You vividly remember the day Doyoung admitted to you his enlistment in the South Korean army. It was mandatory for men his age to serve. His dream to pursue law was to be put on hold, especially when schools were closing down. Though he’d try to confide with himself that serving in this war is another way to help his country, his nationalism outweighed his fear of death. Just as long as it brings them closer to a better tomorrow, he was willing.

Unfortunately for you, you were terrified shitless because again, it’s a war. If your childhood wasn’t enough to recall all those painful emotions from the past world war, you didn’t know what would. Being able to survive is a miracle, so there was no way you would let Doyoung go. The ignorance you gave towards him to protect your heart, moving to your aunt and uncle’s home in the same city after the university suspended classes since going back to the village was a big struggle.

So many villages have been bombed already, increasing your anxiety. All you hoped now was to be reunited with your family safely. It’s a good thing though they already left as soon as they could and are on their way to the city. One normal day while you were teaching your younger cousins how to read, there was a knock on the front door. Since your aunt was busy cooking dinner, you took charge to open it in hopes you’ll find your family on the other side.

However, it was none other than that someone you still couldn’t face just yet. He wore the familiar dark green uniform with black combat boots, his fluffy hair fully shaved even it’s covered by his hat. By the dirt on his face, he must’ve trained earlier that day. With a heavy backpack behind him, he’s on his way somewhere but you didn’t know where. You closed the door behind you so you can speak to him privately.

“What are you doing here, Doyoung? How did you find me?”

“I knew you didn’t want to talk for a while, so I gave you space. But today, I found out that I’m going to be stationed in Seoul tomorrow.”

Seoul was where most of the war was happening. Your heart was shattered.

“So I went to your dorm, but your roommate told me you moved out and gave me this address here.” He answered honestly with this new burden to top it off, not having the courage to look you in the eyes to avoid crying. “I needed to see you, (Y/N).”

“Doyoung,” within those times of separation, you re-evaluated if running away from him was the right choice. Even if he tried to convince you of the good things about being in the army, everything always comes at a price. War meant his life was uncertain daily. You just wanted him to yourself, to stay by your side, to help out in the war in other ways, but it would be selfish to stop him from his goals. So you gently embraced him, making him drop his bag to the side. With extreme fear comes your soft whimpers against his chest. Rather than running away so fast, you should’ve mustered all those remaining bits of courage to spend it with him. He must be feeling terrified too.

“I’m just scared for you. War doesn’t guarantee anything. Us surviving world war two is still miraculous.” Doyoung winced at your truthful words as he returned that embrace. There go his tears that he shed almost every night since he told you about his enlistment.

“I had no choice, (Y/N). My family and I would be in big trouble if I didn’t follow orders.”

“I know. I’m sorry I ran away, Doyoung.” You continued to sob as you feel him stroke your hair from behind. He knew well that it was one way to calm you down.

“If only we didn’t live in harsh times like this.” He sighed, longing for the same thing. He cursed whoever decided to make him exist during a painful time. He would trade anything for a more peaceful life.

“Stay here for the night, please.” You pleaded, not wanting to waste any more time.

Your relatives were aware of your relationship, allowing such a request. They trusted you enough to sleep in the same room, knowing all too well the struggles of being love during times like this.

Neither of you held back from the tension that crept into the room. This time, you led him through the first kiss while his body laid flat on the cushion bed. On top, straddling him fully. Leaving him soft kisses on his neck while teasingly unbuttoning his pajama shirt, your fervent lips trailed from his neck, lowering to his sculpted abdomen, until you reached the waistband of his pajama pants.

Only in books did you learn about how to please men, so this may be the only time you can test it out. Doyoung stiffened on your soft kisses on his hard-clothed member, glancing him seductively back and forth when you stuck out your tongue.

“Please,” He begged, tugging on your hair. “Touch me.”

Your lips wrapped around his tip before gently going lower to your limit, and slowly sucked on it back and forth. Whenever you’d want to catch a breathe, you’d lick the tip teasingly. Doyoung groaned, threading his fingers along with your hair. He’s so used to be a giver that receiving these sensations by you beats his hand. It was heavenly, yet so vulgar. The way you swallowed his cum rather than spitting it out even if the taste wasn’t favorable, you were too much in a daze to process how sudden he switched positions. While you sprawled devilishly under him, your fingers looping on his dog tag necklace to bring him lower for a kiss while feeling two of his fingers go under your panties to teasingly play with your slick.

“Don’t t-tease...” You stuttered, clenching at how fast he can get you stimulated with his fingers.

The whole night long was consumed with his body against yours, the wet sounds of deep thrusts and muffled moans praising each other. The following morning, your naked bodies remained entangled. He was still in deep slumber when your body clock alarms you to wake up. though you couldn’t move when he had his arm around you. The love marks on his chest that you’ve made were more exposed when the sunlight hits him, your fingers carefully trailing on it so he wouldn’t be startled. He needed all the rest he can get.

If only you can have mornings like this when war wasn’t in the equation.

Bidding goodbye was tough. Breakfast was too quiet, just like how he packed his remaining belongings and dressed back to his uniform. You watched him by the patio as he waited for the bus to pick him up. When one finally arrived, he turned around to face you once more. He understood that neither of you wanted to say anything. It would make things harder.

You had to stay strong for him because he was fighting the scarier people. But as he waved goodbye, this was your only exception. Just before he boarded the bus,

“Fuck it.” You mumbled to yourself, running to him as your life depended on it.

“(Y/N), what are you-” Doyoung stopped at his tracks, awaiting your sudden move. You shut him up by desperately placing your lips against his, having that a tiny sliver of hope that it won’t be your last. His hands cradled your face while your arms tangled behind his neck.

It wasn’t until the annoyed coughs from the bus driver stopped your actions. Patting your dress from crinkling, Doyoung left a kiss on your forehead.

“Wait for me, alright? I’ll be back before you know it.” He reassured you.

“Fight strong and stay alive, Doyoung. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I love you, (Y/N).” He caressed your cheek one last time, your hand cupping it.

“I love you too, Doyoung.”

Both of you made sure to write to each other, just anything to keep in touch from being apart.

Oh, if only you knew how long you’d have to wait before seeing each other again.

1951

Doyoung was stationed in the infantry division, always staying prepared for the plans his side made and the active attacks started from the enemy side. He’s lost count of the number of times he’s gotten critically injured and knocked out, but he fought through it with his upcoming plans in mind. How he must fight for the country and stay alive to see the change. How he wanted to have a future with you when everything settles down. It was his motivation every time.

But it took one surprise attack many months later from the enemy side to take it all away. When one of the senior officers was shot, he shielded him without hesitation. All these firing bullets were shot on his back, his legs wobbling from the impact. Due to the non-stop bleeding and lack of urgent medical attention, he painfully lost his life while holding on to his officer.

“Please tell my lover that I love her and I’m sorry.”

Those were his last words before he took one final breath and flatlined.

Seconds later, his soul flowed outside his body and froze at the trippy feeling while witnessing different officers and people on the medic team mourn in front of his dead body. Taeyong, one of the people he befriended from the medic team, tried to wake him repeatedly.

“Doyoung, please don’t joke around. Wake up, please.”

Even if he knew it was hopeless, he did his best to the point his entire team had to pull him away from his best friend’s lifeless body.

“No, he needs to live! He has a family, big dreams, and a girl waiting back in Busan!” He sobbed in his chest. Out of all the people he tried to resuscitate, Doyoung was the first friend that he came across on this occasion. Doyoung ached at this vulnerable sight, wanting so badly to be by his side. With these surprise attacks, death is more prevalent than ever.

“Kim Doyoung?” An unfamiliar voice called for him from behind. He spun around to find one woman in war uniform, though he’s never encountered her in the field, and a man in all black.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Manwol, and he’s the grim reaper. I believe you just died a few minutes ago, correct?”

The truth was piercing to accept, glancing at his lifeless body on the side with Taeyong and another close friend he made, Jungwoo, crying his heart out.

“Are you going to take me already?” He asked.

“Unless you still have things you want to accomplish in the living world, then you can freely go to the other side.” The grim reaper answered monotonously, very much used to this question.

“From the looks of it, you have a lot you want to do still,” Manwol observed from afar, all too familiar with the feeling. “If you come with us, I can help you accomplish them.”

If something stayed with Doyoung until his last breath, it was his skepticism with the supernatural. He was unsure if he can trust them because according to the books, once you’re dead, that’s it. It’s up to the people around him to speak good or bad of him.

“You’re uncertain with our intentions, aren’t you?” Manwol easily read through his stoic expression. “You’ll be surprised with how many things can debunk from the books if you let us, Doyoung.”

For the first time, Doyoung had no clue what and where to go next. No one wrote a book on how to act like a cold, wandering soul. His dreams were limited, meaning he has to find new ones or tweak them a lot to make it possible. Despite her reserved nature, he figured that Manwol looked like someone who knows what she’s talking about. With the grim reaper he’s read in children’s books, he wasn’t as frightening as he was portrayed.

This was his last shot.

“Guide me, please.”

The car ride alone there was messy and bumpy since it was peak war season. He wasn’t the only person who lost their life that night and riding in the vehicle. He recognized a few of them. It was saddening to find the playful Donghyuck, his youngest companion, beside him.

“I sacrificed myself to protect two unarmed nurses in the medic tent when some enemy soldiers charged inside.”

Another was the wise Taeil, who was stationed by the barracks. He was one of the people in the front of in line for battle.

“I thought they were fooling with us, and then suddenly fired multiple attacks. I caught on to it quickly, but they still got me.”

Doyoung remembered all those times he used to ask for love advice from him when it grew hard to be far from you. But that advice is no longer useful when he’s further away from you. He was dead, you weren’t.

Once the three of them arrived at their destination, it was an inn that looked destroyed from the outside, but very organized on the inside. Donghyuck and Taeil decided already what they wanted to do before they cross the other side. Doyoung, on the other hand, was still contemplating.

Manwol knew well how to spot a heartbroken person, being one herself. She wasn’t one to interfere with these affairs, but maybe she’d make an exception. Seeing right through him, he lived a fruitful life. She saw his sacrifice, picking up on his last words being dedicated for you, his lover. He didn’t die in vain.

When the two men were off to follow their plans, Manwol took this chance to approach the downcast man again.

“Is something you holding you back from going…” She questioned, staying by his side for a moment. “…or a special someone?”

“I promised my lover to fight strong and to stay alive while she promised to keep waiting for me. But here I am. She has yet to know that I didn’t make it and I can’t bear to see her in utter pain.”

“Death during a war isn’t new, Doyoung. A lot of promises become broken.”

“But I had so much I wanted to do with her after, Manwol. I can’t just leave her yet, I want to stay by her side even if we can’t see each other physically.”

Based on the information Manwol received about Doyoung from the inn staff, it came to her attention that he was fond of books. Thus, it gave her an idea.

“Doyoung, you’re very similar to the staff here. They all have goals that take years to accomplish, so I gave them a job here.”

“What are you offering me then, Manwol?”

“I have a library here in dire need of a librarian. With your interest in books, would you like to take it? After all, I’m implying that you’d want to wait for your lover to make up for your broken promise.”

Doyoung can’t deny that she was wrong. This was where his journey at Manwol Inn (then became Hotel Del Luna) started. Time worked a little bit differently as a ghost, but it’ll be worth it until you return in his arms one day.

On the day you regrettably received the letter from the military about the tragedy, life has turned for the worst. Upon seeing a soldier by your front step, it was only an innocent habit to give him letters for Doyoung and receiving new ones. However, his hand halted you to hand over a military logo imprinted envelope addressed to you alongside his tidy military uniform other letters from Doyoung.

His last letters.

You had no courage to even complete reading it when the first few lines weren’t enough to taunt you. Nothing could prepare for this dreaded moment.

“We regret to inform you that a report from the war office has confirmed that Kim Doyoung was a casualty of the sudden attack of Seoul. this letter formally declares that he was killed in action....”

Dropping the god-forsaken letter in your hands, you instantly locked yourself in your room. Your parents, who picked it up to read, came running to your door and tediously knocking for you to open it. But you didn’t listen, the heartbreak being too grave.

You tried so hard to keep it together these past months. but this kind of grief resulted in your feeble figure pouring into a heap of salty tears and loud sobs. Your back against the wall smoothly slid down until your butt landed on the floor. You clutched on to your gut that continuously stabbed you back and forth.

Betrayal was an understatement, yet it was beyond his control. War guarantees nothing.

But not when you needed him more than ever, especially when the biggest yet most unexpected news came upon you. All nausea and wild mood swings in the weeks that followed after he left weren’t normal, only to find out that you were expecting his child.

It was a secret you didn’t know how to confront through letters because it was best to tell him in person. Due to the situation, it was impossible. Only in your latest letter did you finally come clean about it, but it was now never to be sent because he has already passed away. Your entire family wasn’t pleased with this outcome but they didn’t shame you for it either. It was your choice and body after all.

They were concerned about how others will perceive you in the long run. An unmarried woman carrying a dead man’s child is taboo in this conservative society. Yet abortion is seen in a bad light too. You were stuck in a double edge sword, but you knew from the beginning that you wanted to keep the child. It’s a struggle, for sure, and your plans will have to wait.

Amid this bad luck, this unborn child is the last closest piece of Doyoung.

Amongst your unavoidable flow of tears that you knew must be stopped so it wouldn’t badly affect your child, you placed a hand on top of your lower belly. There was already an evident swelling bump, but your choice to continue wearing loose clothing to swerve from the public’s judgment covered it fine.

Well, for now. Only in the last trimester, it was going to be a challenge.

“I’m sorry you won’t be meet your father....” You spoke, rubbing it upwards. “....But I’ll make sure to take good care of you. You’re all I have left of him.”

Ever since Doyoung accepted Manwol’s offer, he never left his spot at the library. He was amazed at the endless arrangements of books. Even the western books his parents banned him from reading as a child were there. All this entertainment can distract from the long time he has to wait.

Except for today specifically, he asked Jeno, a new friend he made who also lost his life during the Korean war, to take over for a few hours when he found out that mail was to be delivered in Busan.

“Hyung, are you sure?”

“I just need to see her, Jeno.”

Doyoung expected the heartache when he saw you cry in your bedroom after finding out, and he couldn’t refrain from crying with you. Even as a soul, he’d do anything to cradle you in his arms and say that things will get better in time. How he wanted to tell you to take your time in life and that he’s willing to wait until your time comes. Whenever it could be.

Sadly, he was right there listening to you talk to your unborn child. The disbelief of in his reaction; he was supposed to be a father. Sure, he was relatively young. People won’t approve of it because you were unmarried. But it was an early start to settling down with each other.

It took him a while to accept his unfortunate fate, but for him to be robbed of this meaningful part in life was more unbearable to deal with.

From that point, he made sure to watch over you even if he was invisible. Even if Manwol advised him not to so it won’t complicate anything, he reassured that he has it under control. As a ghost without any grudges, what’s there to throw a fit at? He could retaliate at the enemy soldiers who shot him fearlessly, but they are nowhere to be found and he had no interest to turn into ashes.

The only time he assisted you was when you were giving birth. It was an excruciating process, sweating and breathing intensely. You let a scream every time you pushed, like any of the herbs or medications you consumed were wearing off. Your body wanted to give up as it weakened at the loss of blood.

Childbirth is no joke, having high mortality rates during these times. It was a tempting choice you’d want to take as Doyoung is no longer alive. But you knew it was selfish to leave your child as an orphan.

Doyoung couldn’t withstand watching you struggle anymore. If there was a trick Manwol taught him, it was to possess people. It’s often portrayed as a negative skill, warning him to only use it when it’s an emergency.

The pitiful way your eyes were drained off energy, he had to step in. Observing the midwife panicking on your side even if she was giving you support, he took his chance to possess her. Adjusting to this body, it made him glad to feel your warm hand again.

“(Y/N), your child is almost here.” The doctor positively announced.

“I want a breather. The grim reaper should just take me.” You complained as your mother wiped the endless drops of sweat on your forehead. Doyoung took it to heart, knowing death firsthand was no joke.

“Yah, don’t say stuff like that, (Y/N). This child is bound to be an amazing addition to your life.”

You didn’t know how your timid midwife would straighten you up, but it motivated you a lot more to finish the process. Little did you know.

She gladly accepted your firm grips on her hand, giving affirmative responses to keep you going. In moments you closed your eyes to push, you couldn’t help notice in the corner of your eye how from the physique of your midwife, you swore you saw him. His hand holding yours instead of the midwife.

Was this in the medication? For a moment, you let a tear not from pain but from happiness to catch a glimpse of him in your weakest moment. Every day, you were missing him.

It took almost half an hour before a small set of wails bore in the room while you harshly threw yourself back in the bed to recover your breathing patterns. It knocked you out for a while. Doyoung, still possessing the midwife, was handed the newborn by the doctor and tasked to clean her up.

“It’s a healthy baby girl.” the doctor confirmed as he wiped away the blood on the floor.

He was then brought by your mother to a designated room to bathe the relaxed newborn in his arms.

His newborn.

His desire to phase out of the midwife and use his skill to be visible while holding his child was strong. But it’s too risky since the midwife can catch him. He sucked it up and proceeded in what the books taught him on bathing a baby. During his break time, he’d read all the parenting books he could find. It’ll be rare anyways for him to use the tips, but he always wanted to stay prepared.

As the bubbles of the soap surrounded the relaxed baby, he washed her delicately to avoid her from waking up. He was just mesmerized at how you and he created something so precious. He used to be the type of man to be awkward around kids, but after catering to many children in the library and now his child, it started to change.

“Hello there, little one. Your mother needs you, so you better be good to her.”

Ghosts were highly discouraged to make any more emotional connections with the living because they’ll just end up being hurt, making it harder to move on. Exactly what Doyoung is doing was that, and the more he bonded with his daughter, it was a rekindled kind of pain. The kind when you separate family from each other. The same one he felt when he bid his parents good-bye before joining the war, only to never come back.

To top this off, the tiny hand of his sleeping daughter, whom he finally dried off with a small towel and wrapped in a fresh blanket, sleepily grasped on his pinky finger. Technically, it was the midwife’s, but he was in control.

Nonetheless, the innocent gesture got him both feeling on top of the moon and disheartened at the same time. As he curled it in a silly manner, noticing the size difference, he leaned down to leave a kiss on top of her forehead.

“I’m sorry I’m going to miss out on your life. But I’ll always be here for you, even if I’m in the shadows. Don’t ever question my love for you. Because I do love you, wholeheartedly.”

Kim Areum.

That was the name you settled with when your daughter was finally in your arms. It’s ideal to give Doyoung’s last name too because she is half of him. After resting for quite a while, you noticed how the midwife suddenly shook her body and took a loud deep breath when she helped out cleaning the area up.

“Are you okay?” You question, noticing her state of confusion.

“Uhm, yeah....” She narrowed her eyes to her environment. “Oh wait, you gave birth already? Wow, that was pretty fast...”

“Yes, you were right beside me the whole time...” You glanced sideways at her, suspicious.

“Oh wow yeah, I was.” She tried to laugh it off. “It was like I had an out-of-this-world moment or something. Oh whatever, I sound stupid.”

That brought you back to your early doubts. Whether or not he showed up or you were somewhat hallucinating. But not wanting to reflect too much on the impossible, you merely refocused to the peaceful newborn nestled in your arms.

She’s the only one keeping you alive in these hard times. She served as a reminder of him, thus you’ll hold on to her. From the outside of your window, all Doyoung can do now is to continue watching from afar every once in a while.

1954

Not much has changed in the past few years. You were either reading or taking care of Areum. Your family was lucky enough to have good housing, but getting important necessities such as water and food was a constant struggle.

With the war leading to lots of souls in the inn, he had to fulfill his mandatory orders to prepare souls to move on. He was joyful to be of service to others like he was back in the day.

Though lately, it’s still unavoidable for him to ponder how exactly are you and his daughter are doing. Once Donghyuck and Taeil went ahead for the afterlife, the loneliness began to creep in. Then a while ago, Jeno introduced him to a new group of children today checking out the library. Caught in a deadly car accident on their way home from school, he pitied how such bright kids left the world too soon.

These factors sparked his longing, plus there was still something above that: it was your birthday soon. Much to his luck, Manwol just received a new gift from the deities that might be his biggest help in coping.

“A dream call?” Doyoung inquired once he was summoned by Manwol to the meeting room, sitting across her.

“Yes, a call to anyone from the living that you wish to talk to in their dreams. Though this can only be used once per visitor. The deities pitied those with loved ones who want to see them physically. Thus, they invented this.”

“What are you implying?”

“Doyoung, you know well how easy I can read people even through their fake smiles. You miss her very much.” Manwol replied, holding up the phone to his ear. “This is your chance, Doyoung. Even if you can’t see them, they will see you.”

The first dream started with you sitting at your old spot by the river, in a simple dress Doyoung bought for you on your last ever birthday celebration with him. The forest looked breathtaking as if it was still pre-war times again. The river was still clear of blood and pollution. It must be spring, the flowers above you on the tree were in full bloom.

The sound of bike wheels stopping to park in the grass and someone humming changed your point of interest. There was the only person in your mind who would do that. Jumping from your seated position, you looked behind the other side of the tree only to find him picking up flowers from the branches. He was tall, not having much difficulty getting them.

The way he looked so peaceful and well-rested. This beauty and peace of mind he radiated, it was unreal.

“Doyoung.”

He clenched on the phone with his hand, his concealed yearning to at least hear his name on your lips again urged a tear to go down his cheek.

“Happy birthday, (Y/N).”

He handed you the flower bouquet he made for you. Meanwhile, he suddenly dropped it when you didn’t hesitate to sling your arms around his waist. Your head pressed to his chest, pulling him closer you could care less if you lost your breath. Doyoung felt that tight hug, gripping on the part of his uniform where you placed your head. He rubbed it as if it was your hair.

None of you spoke a word and gracefully paused to take a moment.

Time in a dream call works a bit differently than in the living world. Once you’re in session, one minute alone of talking is equivalent to 30 minutes in the living world.

Doyoung took his first call to catch up with you and say everything he never got to before. It was also where he confessed how he knew about your daughter. There were guilt and regret at how you could’ve told him in your earlier letters.

“You were scared, (Y/N). There’s no way I can blame you.” Laying against his chest, he comforted you. “By the way, she has your nose, you know.”

There was this wave of relief that splashed you after this big burden lifted. You can live a more untroubled life now.

“She has your temper though.” You jokingly say, putting you in a fit of giggles. It’s been too long since you experienced genuine humor.

“At age 3? Yah, I’m impressed.” He remarked with pride.

Since Doyoung wasn’t capable to be physically affectionate in the dreams, he was more on receiving them from you. In return, he gave sincere conversations even if they were a yearly thing. Talking about your daughter was one of your favorite topics. adolescence, teenage years, to university, there was so much to talk about. Doyoung would only use his dream calls on you on your birthday, making them more meaningful. Each one, you were both back to your twenties with different outfits and settings based on the differing decades.

“Don’t you feel burdened to wait for me?” You asked as his fingers brushed some of your hair back while you watched the sunset from a wooden bench.

“No, I’m not. there are still many things I want to fulfill before moving on. I also want to watch Areum grow up and help you in any possible. Only when these goals of mine and others are cleared, then I‘ll be able to rest well.”

“Will you be okay until then, Doyoung?”

“I broke a promise with you, (Y/N). and I want to make up for it.”

“What will you do when my time comes?” Your hand interlocked with his, squeezing it tight even if he couldn’t reciprocate it.

“I will shout out your name and hug you tight, my love. But until then, appreciate your life. Live it to its fullest. For me.”

Doyoung sensed your worry but comforted you that it’ll be okay. He wasn’t lying either when he said he wanted to do a lot of things too. Every dream call, his gut feelings were strong to know what you were going through in every call, giving you any advice to get you through them.

To count, he gave you almost 50 dream calls.

The late 1950s-1960s

After returning to university to finish your undergraduate studies when the war ended, you continued to pursue law school and taking the exams as you’ve wanted. But this meant moving to Seoul for better opportunities.

Doyoung celebrated with himself when he found out, not having to take the bus or ride the hotel car to Busan every time he wanted to see you two. Now, he could simply walk back and forth, managing it with his shifts.

Currently, he was taking a break in his office. The deities gifted him with a bunch of murder mystery books from the West, fully immersed in the storylines. Leaning backward from his chair, he was abruptly disconnected by a knock on his open door.

“Hyung, you have a special visitor in the lobby.” Jeno urgently informed Doyoung as he leaned on the side of his office door, out of breath. “It’s quite important if you ask me.”

Doyoung removed his reading glasses and put down his novel. Putting back his blazer on, he approached his younger friend and made their way down the hallway together hastily.

“Is it a family member who’s passed?” He questioned, slightly folding his blazer sleeves then adjusting the hotel pin on his chest pocket. By the tone Jeno spoke, it must’ve been serious. Although there’s no way it can be you just yet, he has no idea who was looking for him then.

The lobby was bustling with numerous souls. Some still fresh, some just roaming around, while others were preparing to pass the other side. Nothing new to it, until Jeno pointed out a specific scene in one corner of the room.

“Hyung, over there.”

Like an obedient puppy, Doyoung looked over to where Jeno’s finger directed. At first glance, by her long black hair, he recognized Manwol, who was kneeling in front of someone seated. It wasn’t until she stood up and shifted her body to the side to reveal that someone, patting her young head kindly.

She wore a ribbon on her hair, matching with the colors of her floral dress while carefully holding on to a piece of paper with her drawing. Due to the distance, he couldn’t make out what she drew. Though with her dazzling eye smile formed by her small eyes, he knew her too well.

“Areum.”

Right on cue, the young girl caught his entrancing gaze. With the widest smile, she exclaimed “Daddy!”

Manwol, who was right beside her, held her hand and graced their way to Doyoung and Jeno. The two knew she despised children, ordering them to keep a keener eye on them when they wander around so they don’t access the hallway leading to her office. Unexpectedly, Areum didn’t burden her the slightest. She brought a different aura, a very pure and full of love kind.

With the full moon shining at its peak, becoming present to the eyes of the living, she must’ve spotted the hotel from afar and her interest grew wild for it. Typical for girls her age. Not afraid of the risks, she followed any directions to get here. Coincidentally, she encountered Manwol in the front gate.

Manwol recognized her straight away, even when she glimpsed the drawing of her family she treasured in her chest. She still included her father, whom she was very much acquainted with. Though, she was puzzled by her sudden appearance. When Areum explained that her father lived in the hotel according to your stories, her heart fell to her gut. Indeed, she was right, but again, ghosts are discouraged to have connections with the living or anything related to it. However, her strong senses couldn’t disregard how much Doyoung yearned for his family. Lately, his only daughter when numerous children arrived at the hotel. He didn’t want to voice it out however because the other staff shared the same sentiments, so it would be insensitive so he just kept it to himself. But Manwol sensed it all too well.

She won’t tell anyone this, but she has quite a soft spot for Doyoung. She empathized with him the most since he came to the hotel, willing to do what it takes to make his coping and waiting worthwhile. She was still brash at times, but only when necessary.

Areum’s presence didn’t seem to harm anyone, charming anyone around with a smile and her words. Especially that smile, it shows enough of how much she’s Doyoung’s daughter. With a rough internal debate, Manwol welcomed her inside the magical hotel Areum described it as and tasked Jeno to call for Doyoung. It was a risk, but a needed one.

With Manwol innocently holding the young girl’s hand, she looked her down and asked her, “Is that your father from your drawing, Areum?”

Areum lit up as she tilted her head upwards to see her tall father, nodding proudly. “Yes, that’s him! The one my mom talks about in her dreams too!”

Doyoung’s heart swelled at her pride for him, not hesitating to kneel to her height. Arms wide open, he loudly called her out for the first time. “Areum!”

The young girl, letting go of Manwol’s hand, ran as fast as her short legs could like nothing can stop her, even if the lobby was packed. Soon enough, she’s at the grasp of her father, carrying and hugging her in circles. Light as a feather, he took in her scent and warmth. The racing beat of her heart pulsated against his chest, reminding how much life she’s filled with. It was liberating that she found him, even when he stood behind the dark shadows.

Once he put her back down, “What brings you here, Areum? Isn’t it past your bedtime already?”

She pouted, sulking at disobeying your rules. “I know, but as soon as I was ready for bed, I saw the hotel in bright lights just like mommy described. She said that only during the peak full moon it’ll be shown to very special people who are alive, and it turns out that I’m one of them, daddy.”

Hearing that title from her lips was something he would’ve never get sick of. He felt the validity more than ever.

The odds of being a human spotting the hotel during peak full moon was rare, earning perplexed looks by those who don’t see it. Doyoung never encountered a human waltzing in the hotel out of the bloom, so for his daughter to have this mystical ability was a gift in disguise. Maybe the deities knew how to cut off some slack and agony for wandering souls. This was an excuse to stop cursing them now and then.

“Wow, aren’t you a lucky girl for that?” Jeno, whom he forgot was by his side, patted her head similarly to Manwol. “Your father missed you dearly, you know?”

“Well, Mr. Jeno,” She picked up his name from his nametag. “I missed him too.”

Doyoung processed the features of the angelic girl in front of him, astonished at how you and he created someone so cheerful during a time of trouble. Aside from her eye smile, she had his gummy smile and curiosity, while she inherited your nose and intelligence. Cupping her chubby cheek, he pinched it with a cute sound effect from his mouth.

“Daddy!” She protested, slapping his hand away and dramatically covered her reddening cheek. “Not allowed to that, ever.”

Oh, you weren’t joking when you said she had his temper too.

Before he could defend himself, Manwol reentered their interaction. Like common sense, Doyoung got back on his feet but helplessly giving side glances to his daughter. Manwol giggled at his sudden formality before instructing Jeno to lead Areum to the carnival room. As Areum waves him goodbye for the meantime, Manwol added on.

“There’s a rise of kids checking in the hotel, unfortunately, so I wholeheartedly requested the deities to create an area dedicated for child-like fun. Just today, it’s finished in construction so it’s a great place for Areum to explore.”

“Manwol, I-” He was feeling overwhelmed, stumbling his words. “Why did you this for me?”

“You used your dream calls for (Y/N), but there’s never been a way for you to reach out to your daughter. And the way her glimmering eyes wanted to come in when she shouldn’t, I couldn’t refuse a chance for the two to reunite.”

“But what about the deities?”

“I’ll handle it. What matters is that you have tonight to spend with Areum. It’s the least thing I could do as you are one of my beloved staff,” She reassured, yet looked at him in a downcast manner. “But as much as possible, everything tonight must feel like a vivid dream to her. She’s not allowed to keep any knick-knacks from tonight either.”

Everything always came at a price. Doyoung was acquainted well enough, but he can’t lie to say that I didn’t ache. Nonetheless, Manwol having such a selfless side was completely new to him. That’s why he never asked for favors like the other staff since he’ll just get turned down or scolded like a child. Maybe she wasn’t as scary as to how they labeled her all these years he’s worked for her.

Manwol took Doyoung’s silence under the impression of internal conflict. In true Manwol fashion, she clapped her hands right in front of his visage, snatching him back to reality. “You’re wasting time, Doyoung! Don’t think about it too much right now. Now come on and dress up more casually, your daughter is waiting for you.”

Following her order, he bowed respectfully before zooming to his hotel room. She was right, he has to enjoy whatever is given. Demanding for more when you’re already dead is disrespectful to the eyes of the deities, considering that alongside your past life when you step into the afterlife.

From his uniform, he changed into a white long sleeve buttoned-up, which was layered under a lilac knit sweater, and black trousers. He styled his hair in a dandier way, applying gel then combing it upwards. He was only following the trends of the decade, basing it on the recently checked-in souls. Deities must’ve liked him a lot to give him a lot of gifts from time to time, making him completely disregard the money from the living world Manwol gives during his off days. Most of the time, his off days are spent either secretly observing you and your daughter, or reading more books in the library.

This one was like a change of scenery, his heart pumping once he exited to the elevator and rushed to the carnival room. And just as he entered the doors, the wave of nostalgia hit him instantaneously. It felt like he was in university again, bringing you around the bizarre contraptions and games for the first time for your amusement. A spark in your romance, so full of young love and naivety of what was to come.

He spotted his young girl wrapped around in the arms of Jeno, explaining to her about the wide range of rides as she licked on a rainbow lollipop. Once he showed up to the both of them, Jeno cautiously put her down so she can hold Doyoung’s hand.

“You deserve this, hyung. Make it worthwhile.” Jeno placed his hand on his older friend’s shoulder before leaving the room. Keeping it in mind, Doyoung kneeled again in front of his daughter. Her smiles were contagious, fascinated by everything she’s surrounded in.

“I’ve never seen anything like this, daddy.” That line sounded familiar, chuckling at the precious memory.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have fun tonight!”

The bliss in tonight was never-ending, like the two of them were in their own world. Areum wanted to ride on a horse in a carousel first, which Doyoung agreed to. Lifting her, he held her by the waist as the ride started to go. She pointed out every object that she can see while Doyoung avidly listened, then telling her what each ride and game consists of in return.

Once they got off, her short legs scurried off to the game booth where rows of bottles were laid in front of her. Right beside her were the rings. Doyoung properly described the instructions, and on the dot, Areum went ham and started throwing the rings in random directions. By the way, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed, her competitive side was evident. Doyoung observed as she either hit or miss, finding another trait of his in her.

You’d find it hard to believe, but she would’ve been a total daddy’s girl.

To her success, she squealed victoriously as she won and hugged her dad. One of the staff in charge rewarded her with new candy to munch on, and off she went to look for the next attraction to divulge in. Doyoung struggled a little catching up to her, but anything he would do for his daughter.

From a one on one balloon dart game, which Doyoung willingly let Areum won because she’s a fussy one, roaming through a mini house of mirrors, riding the indoor Ferris wheel, and many more, Areum was ready to move to the next venue after telling her father that she wanted him to read to her.

“Mommy said you’re a librarian here because you like reading. I like it too, can you take me there?”

Just like you, he was charmed by his daughter. “Alright, Areum. Let’s go there then.”

Before they made it through past the wide doors with the bright red sign above saying “Exit”, Areum’s attention was distracted by a black kiosk near the Ferris wheel. She followed her gut, changing her direction. Doyoung quickly followed her footsteps, only to turn up in front of a photo booth.

“Wow, are these where you can take instant pictures, daddy?”

Waves of nostalgia hit Doyoung as if he were on the beach, totally unprepared for the emotional impact. With Areum, he missed your presence more than ever. Having you there completed your family, and it could’ve been quite a reunion.

“Yes, Areum. How about you go inside and daddy will insert some coins so you can have your pictures taken?”

“But daddy, I want to take pictures with you! It’s only mommy that has pictures with you, and I don’t want to feel left out.” She threw a tantrum, crossing her arms.

Here she goes again, making it difficult for Doyoung to refuse. Even with Manwol only giving him one rule to follow for the night, he doesn’t want any bad memories to be made with his daughter. He’ll have to work it out one way or another later. In the meantime, he smirked before carried her out of the blue inside the booth. Her shrieks increased in volume, only softening after she settled on her father’s lap. Doyoung inserts a few coins, and swiftly enough, the contraption started to operate.

“Okay Areum, one photo strip has 4 solo photos in it. 4 smiles or poses, okay? You’re going to look at the lens there, in the shape of a circle. Then, the flash is going to show in 3, 2-” Right on time, the two smiled.

They had less than 10 seconds until the second shot, so the two pulled random funny expressions. Doyoung pouted his lips, while Areum stuck out her tongue. For the third photo, Doyoung kissed the top of her head while Areum poked her cheeks with her fingers. Lastly, Areum instructed her father to lower his head to her level so she can peck his cheek. His shock was perfectly taken, filling his heart with adoration.

Areum hating getting affection but loves giving it? Another trait of his.

The look of amazement Areum gave once she stepped foot on the endless library was priceless. She described how it was bigger than the national library in Seoul. While she strolled around the near shelves, Jeno, taking over his night shift, approached him with a bottled treat. But it wasn’t just a normal one.

“Manwol and I overheard that she liked strawberry milk, so Manwol told me to give it to you. It has the dream spell potion from Johnny’s bar mixed with flowers from the deities so she can’t see ghosts or the hotel anymore. Make sure she drinks it before she leaves this place.”

While Areum settles on the small couch with her chosen books, she patiently anticipated for her father to read to her before her yawning takes over her. She never tracked the time, but she’s gone way beyond her average curfew.

“Sleepy already, sweetheart?” Doyoung asked as he sat beside her, inspecting her drowsy state.

Areum shook her head, displaying all the books she got on the table in front of her. “Nope! Not until you read me a bedtime story.”

Doyoung scanned through her book selection, amazed by her choices. The Little Prince, Winnie the Pooh, Goodnight Moon, and a bunch of Madeline books from the series, he couldn’t decide! If only he could read them all for her.

A lot of those books he read growing up, and the same goes for you. Especially Madeline, which he discovered through you as one of your childhood favorites. By instinct, he chose the first book from the series, simply entitled “Madeline”.

“This one.” He patted his lap so she could sit on it, which she did without wasting a breath.

It was ironic for a librarian to have never read aloud for anyone during his stay. Maybe because no one asked him to nor he wasn’t into reading aloud. He preferred reading to himself, only helping those looking for specific books or recommending if anyone has a favorite genre. Maybe he’ll give it a shot now. This first-hand experience opened his eyes to a new type of intimacy, hearing the adorable reactions from his daughter as he read the life of Madeline in Paris.

“In the middle of one night, Miss Clavel turned on her light and said, “Something is not right!”.” Doyoung flipped the next page. “Little Madeline sat in bed, cried and cried-”

“She cried to get attention, huh?” Areum commented mid-reading.

“Areum, if she didn’t, she could get even sicker. We don’t want that, right?”

“If I cried like that, would that be enough to bring you back to me and mommy, daddy?” She wholesomely questioned, twisting her body weight so she could face him. “Mommy already has a way to reach to you, and I want something like that too”

Doyoung knew she was a smart girl, but she often denies the reality of some things. In this case, her father’s passing still hasn’t hit her, even if she possessed the mystical skill to see ghosts and the hotel. Doyoung felt cornered, so before he could think of a reply, he kindly asks her,

“Hmm, what do you have in mind, sweetheart?”

“Well,” She pouted as she fidgeted with her index fingers. “I read all your old letters to mommy, so maybe I can write you one every year.”

“What a great idea, sweetheart!” He cheered. “How will you give it?”

“Uh..” She paused to think, then a bright idea came to her. “During your birthday, daddy! Mommy and I still celebrate it if you don’t know, so I can offer it alongside the food.”

Doyoung played along, knowing that tradition of yours. Although it still aches him to show up on his death anniversary, he compromised by showing up on his birthday. He’d see his and your families celebrating, talking about the positive and fun things about him in his life. He observed his daughter a little more later when she got older and started talking. Whenever you praised him for something, there was hope and inspiration in her young eyes. It’s uplifting to discover that his legacy was seen in a good light. He’d never wanted to be seen as a bad guy to anyone.

“I’ll look forward to it, sweetheart. Promise?” He stuck out his pinky to her, getting curled in response by hers.

“Promise!”

Both of them chuckled, appreciating the moment. His long arms embraced her from the back, nuzzling his head on his shoulder. How blessed to have a daughter like her, but from a glance, the bottle of strawberry milk situated beside the pile of books gave a remembrance of one of his remaining tasks. It had to be done, but he hoped she won’t at least forget to write to him.

“Look! Miss Manwol wanted to give this to you.” He handed it to her.

Ecstatic, she cranked open the bottle cap and took tiny sips of it. “It’s so good, daddy!”

Doyoung softly laughed as excess milk drops dribbled in her lips, wiping it with his thumb. “Aigoo, you messy girl. Let’s continue, shall we?”

Cozying up to him again, Doyoung resumed his storytelling. Once he said the words, “The end.”, the small head of his daughter completely leaned against his chest. Snuggling for more comfort, he checked her current condition. Knocked out like a light, he puts the book down and cradled her for a second. The last time he did something like this was when she was born. She was tiny then, and now, she’s bound to outgrow his lap sooner or later.

This was his sign to bring her home.

He boosted her small figure, her head now planted on his shoulder and his hand resting behind the nape of her neck. Her legs were entangled in his torso when he showed up at the lobby again. It was much more serene, everyone checked in already.

“Aigoo, fast asleep already?” Manwol made an appearance without warning, alongside her personal driver Yuta and the bartender Johnny.

“As expected from my magic.” Johnny commended himself, stretching his fingers. That easily gave him a slap from Yuta.

“Can’t you be more sensitive to Doyoung?”

Not caring about those two, Manwol caressed Areum from behind. Inside her cold heart, she brought so much amusement. Even if she embodied traits from Doyoung, she stood out from his usual reserved nature. She had so much energy, and it’s a fresh sight. Manwol secretly peered at their father-daughter time in the library, and she sensed the love the two had for each other. Even if it’s unbearable to separate them, having tonight was a pleasure for all.

“Yuta,” She summoned him. “Drop these two to her house safe and sound. It’s too dangerous to walk in the dark right now.”

Bowing in response, he led the way to the elevator for Doyoung to follow. But before he took the first step, Manwol halted him by the arm. “You better come back, or the deities won’t be pleased.”

He nodded before he was sent on his way. Wasn’t this brutal?

The silence in the car ride is deafening, though he didn’t want to disturb his little girl either. Yuta peeked from the mirror now and then to check on the two, sharing the gloom of his fellow friend. Having something or someone so valuable from the living world makes it hard to leave it. He understood as he suffered a similar fate to him.

When they’ve arrived at their destination, Doyoung was quick to notice that the lights from your living room were still on. It’s too risky to waltz in through the front door, squinting for other ways to go inside. To his luck, the window of Areum’s bedroom was wide open. That must’ve been how she escaped earlier.

“Be careful, Doyoung. Her neighbors may be watching.”

“It’s around 4 am right now, Yuta. I’ll be fine.” He reassured, clicking open the car door with his daughter peacefully asleep.

Entering inside her bedroom, he gently put her down on her soft bed. Covering her body with the duvet so she wouldn’t get cold, he took one last lingering look before taking his leave. Manwol might be looking for him already. Pressuring even to know that Yuta was waiting outside for him and that the deities are looking down on him too.

“Daddy,” Her tiny hand tugged on his sleeve, stopping his movements. Her droopy eyes faintly ajar, wanting to capture these last dreamy moments. “Don’t leave me and mommy again.”

This retouched attachment between the two made things much more stifling to accept reality. Doyoung understood her fright and sighed, kneeling to her again. Patting her head, “I’m sorry but I have no choice, sweetheart. We don’t want daddy to get in trouble, right?”

She lazily nods, tugging on his sleeve again. “Can you sing me to sleep, daddy? You used to do that for mommy.”

He grinned, accepted her last request. Holding on her hand, kissing it, he quietly sings.

“Eonjebuteoinji geudaereul bomyeon….”

When the song reached its end, the soft snores from Areum filled his eardrums. Her eyes are fully closed, and her tiny head fell to the side of her pillow. Kissing her forehead, he whispered, “Good night, sweetheart. Daddy loves you so much.”

A cute sight to Doyoung, she occupied a huge part in his heart. Even if everything tonight will feel like a complete dream, it’s a memorable moment for Doyoung that he’ll treasure.

Initially, he planned to leave her bedroom the same way he came in, which was through her window. That’s all Manwol tasked him to do when he arrives at your house, but his heart selfishly desires to see you. Even if he was invisible now. His powers were weakening, twitching from being visible to invisible back and forth.

Never has he stepped inside your new house, and this could be his only chance.

The first thing he saw after leaving his daughter’s bedroom was the dining room. Tidy and organized, as expected from you. For the living room connected to it, the simple decorations invited him inside. Assorted photos hung in the wall and by the table near the front door, with a fresh bouquet of asters in a vase there too.

Alluring as it is, the only thing Doyoung couldn’t keep his eyes off the most was a sleeping you in pajamas, hunched over the coffee table on top of books and numerous paperwork. An empty coffee glass neared the edge, so he caught it before you squirmed again from your sleep.

The exhaustion from your life was constantly piled up one after the other. You’ve been studying hard at law school, balancing it with a part-time job as a teacher’s assistant at your university for undergrads and being a mom to Areum. Even seeing the pile of bills right by your side, you didn’t just need the help of your families. You needed him, as a friend, lover, and father.

Men were still viewed as the main breadwinners of the family, but you juggled both positions as mother and father. It was a vicious fate, and he’d do anything to share that challenge with you. For now, the only thing he could do is bring you to bed at least.

Taking you into his arms bridal style, completely knocked out, he only assumed the remaining door in front of Areum’s bedroom was your bedroom. Carefully kicking it, he graced your bed and laid you down elegantly so your sleeping flow won’t be disturbed. He put the covers on top of your body so you’d feel comfier.

Right in front of your bedside was a breezy open window, the moonlight creeping in to highlight your sleeping face. The wrinkles on your forehead started to show, a side effect of immense stress. It’s a trait no one wants, yet it symbolized aging and moving forward to the future. Doyoung envied you for it.

Besides that, you looked youthful as ever, seeking internal peace from the outside world in your deep slumber. His index traced the outline of your face, appreciating your glow. Trapped in amazement, leaving you will be more difficult. It’s been a while since he saw you up close in the flesh, but Manwol’s words daunted his mind. Just like his daughter, his lips softly pecked your forehead and to your ear, he said in a hushed tone, “Good night, my love. I’m so proud of you.”

Getting back on his knees to exit, he’s convinced that you and your daughter can detect a leaving presence and catch it before they do. On cue, your hand unconsciously grabbed his wrist. Your mind couldn’t make up what mental state you were in, but something in you vibed a known presence. One that you’ve yearned, one that you struggle to wait and see until your birthday arrives. Is he actually here?

Doyoung reacted immediately, his feet shuffling to face you again. Eyes still shut close, but your lips released a satisfied moan as you stretched your arms slightly.

“Is it my birthday already?” You mumbled incoherently, gripping on the unknown wrist. “Or am I just lucky enough to get a free pass?”

He rolled his eyes at your nonsense. “If this was a free pass, what would you want me to do?”

You weakly took a peek. It was blurry, probably caused by your sleepiness. But you recognized the silhouette of this stranger from the back of your hand. You clutched his grip, bringing his face closer to yours. Doyoung didn’t expect such a jerking action, almost falling limp if his other free hand didn’t grip on your duvet.

“Kiss me before you go again, my love.” You requested, mindlessly craving his touch.

Loosening from your grip, his palm cupped your cheek as he wets his lips. He made the first move, sweetly and slowly. Even at your unknown state, you returned with the same level of passion, brushing the hair behind the nape of his neck to deepen it. You haven’t kissed anyone like this in a very long time, too busy with your studies and motherhood. This refreshed your memories of what you missed, a warm tear escaping your eye.

No one will ever match up to him.

Doyoung’s deprivation of physical touch for you amplified, eagerness for so much more than this. Touching himself to the thought of you grew tiring, wanting to have you in the flesh by his side. It wasn’t until a bright car light from outside shun by your window. Yuta was an impatient one, but he had every right to be.

It was fulfilling while it lasted. His heart throbbed when his lips parted from yours, opening his eyes again. Your eyes stayed closed, but your lips hummed in satisfaction.

“Nothing changed in the way you kiss, my love.” You complimented, succumbing back to your deep slumber by pulling yourself further inside the duvet.

Doyoung grinned at your words, kissing your knuckle one last time. “I meant what I said, (Y/N). Sleep well.”

He tiptoed out your bedroom, deciding to exit through the front door. Again, no one would be awake at this time anyway. However, an antique-looking photo of him caught his eye. Taking a closer look, it was you and him by his garden, clutching on his arm under their family lemon tree and smiling during pre-war times. It was a funny story actually.

His father bought a camera for the first time and wanted to test it out. You were over at their house that day to study, and his father insisted to take a photo of the two of you as a first try.

“Oh come on, we must commemorate this new contraption! The first people can be titled “Young Love” or something like that!”

Doyoung cringed, whining, “Dad, that’s so corny!”

“I don’t care. Now hurry, join the frame with (Y/N) and smile!”

His father may present himself as strict and stubborn as one of the most affluent men in Korean society even after the war, but behind the scenes, he knows how to entertain his children. Doyoung’s childhood never had a dull moment. Oh, how wished he could follow the same fate as him.

This happy photo was a golden treasure to you, framing it so it could be preserved. It was one of your last traces of him, aside from Areum. Next to it, a much smaller photo of you and Areum was placed. Also all smiles for the two of you, Areum firmly sat on your lap and clasping her hands above her dress. You cut your hair during that time, showing the dog tag necklace that once belonged to him on your neck. You were really devoted to him, and he’s grateful, to say the least.

He knew he shouldn’t take anything either before going back to the hotel, but there was just no way he can’t take this one photo of his favorite girls with him. He already kept his photo strip of him and Areum from the carnival in his back pocket, so he’ll just have to work out the consequences then.

Returning to the car was bittersweet. He took one more proper look at your home, taking in all the positive energy to have such a loving family even if he can only watch from afar. While Yuta revved the car on, Doyoung deeply sighed from the backseat. What a spontaneous evening.

“I’m guessing you didn’t resist seeing your lover either, Doyoung?” Yuta commented, viewing him from the mirror. Raising his brows playfully, “Got caught in the VIP seat of you two lip-locking.”

“First of all, that’s creepy, Yuta. Second, you most definitely know what it feels like to be separated from your lover. Cut me some slack.”

“Whatever, that’s not my business anyway. But good luck to you if Manwol asked why there was a sudden extension.” The older friend shrugged, his foot pressing on the pedal to drive off the area.

“Keyword is if she asks. Now please, drive faster, Yuta. I have a shift to fill in now.”

Last night was a gift, but also an aching reminder of what could’ve been if he never died. The sun is slowly making its appearance again, bringing in another morning in this reality. Another work day for Doyoung, more waiting to be done.

Yet recalling his bonding moments with Areum, he’ll most likely get through another few decades. He yanked out his photo strip from the back pocket of his trousers, gazing at their authentic happiness. He muttered to himself,

“I’ll see you and your mother again, and we’ll all celebrate and rejoice. ‘Til then, my sweetheart.”

Meanwhile, ever since that peculiar “dream” with Doyoung, it left you with a lot of questions. Perhaps, it’s all just in your head. Though it doesn’t quite answer how one of your beloved pictures went missing. That’s definitely something you’re going to ask if your birthday comes up again.

Moving forward, his kind words pushed you to do your best. In the next years, you first became a family lawyer for a few years to get used to the field, but permanently shifted to being a public attorney because you wanted to be able to represent those who are suffering the most yet can’t afford the legal help to avoid it.

Just like what you and Doyoung aspired.

Balancing that with a kid was overwhelming, but with your and Doyoung’s families helping you out, your stress lessened.

You served as a huge inspiration to female college students wanting to pursue law. Since law is still perceived as a male-dominated field, you constantly pushed to make space for women in that workforce. It was also rare of you to lose a case because of the hard work you put into disproving every loophole and suggesting the correct punishments for the wrongdoers.

“You really outdid yourself once again, (Y/N). Or should I say Attorney (Y/L/N) (Y/N).”

“Shut up, Doyoung. Tell me more about your hotel staff friends. That Johnny guy seems very fun, and Jeno seems like a lovely boy.”

“Johnny’s a playful lad, always the life of the party. Jeno is like the younger brother I really wish I had. Donghyun-hyung is okay and all, but he’s so high maintenance.”

“Shush! He’s doing fantastic right now. He pursued acting like he always wanted.”

“He deserves it because he’s hard-working, like yourself, Attorney.”

You’ve never fallen in love the same way you did for Doyoung. Though you won’t lie that you’ve slept with a few men during nights out with your co-workers, committing to another man was something you had no time for. You always envisioned Doyoung as the one fucking you senseless.

People viewed it as stupid to be still lovestruck over your dead lover, but you’ve been called worst insults in your life that it doesn’t sting that much anymore. At the end of the day, your heart still soared and longed for Doyoung.

You just can never let him go.

“It’s still unfair to you, Doyoung. I should be ashamed.” The two of you were at a drive-in theater, watching from the trunk of his pickup truck. Your back laid against his chest as his fingers roam your torso in an upwards motion.

“No, you shouldn’t, (Y/N). It’s natural to desire human affection. I’m the one who should be sorry for not giving it to you.”He replied, completely ignoring the film.

You scoffed jokingly. “It’s silly how we’re so deprived of sex, especially with each other.”

“Oh, (Y/N). Don’t get me started, I’m suffering here with my hand alone while you can just find any available man.”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” You surrendered, directing your head from the front to the back. “At the end of the day, it’s still your touch that still gets me weak.”

“My dear, on the day we reunite, brace yourself. I’ll show you who you really belong to.”

1973

Doyoung’s been on duty with reading books to children lately, and again, he’s aching to see what Areum’s up to. Rereading past letters from her from his birthday celebrations were driving him wild. After helping one young girl look for more books under the Madeline series, he had to make an exception. Just this once, and that would be it.

Even if he was under disguise, he desperately wanted to have just another brief conversation with her, especially that she’s a lot older compared to their last encounter. Doyoung witnessed her bloom from this imaginative young girl to a strong woman chasing after her dreams.

Like mother, like daughter.

He spotted her at a small bookstore to buy books for her classes and newly arrived ones from the States, very much interested in western literature. But upon seeing the peaked prices which were more than what she saved for, she put the book back on the shelf and gathered the ones she actually needed.

This was where Doyoung took it upon himself to offer his help. Staying long enough in the middle of the living and the dead, he was capable to turn visible.

“Stephen King, huh?” He inquired, scooting to her side and pulling out the book again to take a better look at it. He came across this book in his library, even if it was in English. “I see that you’re into horror. These books are in English though.”

Areum knew speaking to strangers is not a good thing, but if anyone reached out to her to talk about books, she can’t help but feel excited. “I’m interested in a lot of genres, and this book is pretty popular right now so I wanted to check it out. Besides, I’m reading more English books so I can become fluent one day.”

“You aren’t scared of the storylines?”

“I went through a life of hardships, sir. Nothing scares me anymore honestly.” Doyoung couldn’t help feel proud and sorry for her. Without questions, he led her to the counter and paid for all books despite her insisting not to.

“Sir, you really shouldn’t have. I can always come back for those books when I save up more.”

“It’s fine, really. With your taste in literature, you have a promising future as an author if that’s what you’re aiming for.” He complimented. Areum was frazzled at how spot on this stranger was, trying to convince him again.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t pay you back?”

“Pay me back by publishing your books.” He confidently stated, bringing out his wallet to pay the cashier. His astonishing kindness and encouragement for her are heartwarming, bowing with gratitude.

“Thank you,” She halted because she didn’t know his name.

There was no way Doyoung can disclose his actual name, so he just picked a random nickname some of the kids in the hotel who he read to coined for him. “I prefer giving people my nickname. It’s tokki.”

“Thank you, tokki. I’m Areum, Kim Areum.” She thanked him properly, struggling from carrying her things to shake his hand, but Doyoung signaled her not to.

“Nice to meet you, Areum.” He greeted back.

As Areum was more ready to part ways, Doyoung’s fatherly instincts activated due to the heavy box she held. Her dorms must be a bit far and it was already nighttime. Anything can happen.

“Excuse me, Areum. But do you mind if I help you with your books? It’s pretty late, so I just want to make you get back safe.”

Something in Areum was very willing to trust this man she just met. Sure, he was quite covered up, but it’s almost winter and maybe he didn’t want to catch a cold. Though, his intentions looked good. She’s heard stories about people getting robbed in these alleys, so she accepted his help.

Her dorms were a few blocks away, giving enough time to be acquainted with this man. Though he was the one mostly asking the questions and she answered them. She didn’t pry on it too much and went with the flow.

“Are you an only child in your family?”

“Yes. It’s also just me and my mom. I never got to meet my dad sadly. He died before I was born while battling in the Korean war.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” No matter how long it’s been since the war, the trauma of it all still haunted Doyoung.

“It’s been years so it’s fine. I found out recently that he risked his life to save his senior officer during a surprise attack from one of my uncles. If that isn’t bravery, I don’t know what is.”

“So you’re not mad at him for leaving?” He asked, hoping he didn’t cross boundaries either. He needed this closure.

“It was hard to accept at first. All my friends grew up with their actual fathers, and I felt outcasted. But there are just some things we can’t control, you know?  Besides, people always spoke of him highly and that makes me proud. Though,” She answered honestly, covering up the bitterness in her words in other not to disrespect him. “I’m pretty sure I saw him in a dream when I was younger.”

Doyoung’s heart leaped. So she may recall quite a bit. “Oh really? What was it like?”

“The only person I told this to is my mom. It felt quite unreal, honestly. I was around 7-8 years old at that time, and we were at a carnival, enjoying the attractions and stuff. Then we transitioned to this huge library where he read me a bunch of stories. One of them was Madeline, I believe. One of my favorites!”

Doyoung replays the fond memory in his mind. Time really flew by so fast.

“What a fun dream, it seems to be.”

Areum was elated at the best memory of her youth, smiling to herself. “It truly was. It felt like I was with him, you know. No matter how many times he told me he loved me there, I still respond the same way and that nothing has changed.”

“I love you too, Areum.” He mumbled quietly. That dream should not have been the only memory they have of each other. Neither of them deserved to be parted.

Soon enough, they arrived at the front doors of her dorm residence. Since it was strictly for women, she explained that she’ll carry the box from here on.

“Thanks again for the help, tokki. I’ll make sure to pay you back soon.” She spoke so casually because, for some reason, this mysterious man felt trustworthy. Her gut feeling may fool her, but she let it pass.

“Take your time, Areum. I wish you the best of luck.”

Before they went separate ways, something about her bitter words from awhile ago bothered Doyoung and he wanted to say something about it. Because looking into the far future, if he didn’t, he knew he’ll regret it and make moving on harder.

“Wait, Areum!”

Areum abruptly reacted to the shouts of her name, almost dropping the box. She faced again the mysterious tokki, who now had an awkward stance with his hand in the air waving at you.

“Yes, tokki?”

Compiling his thoughts, here goes nothing.

“This is quite random but your dad... I just know he loves you too. He’s also proud of you for being strong and intelligent. I hope you don’t forget that.”

Areum was baffled by his statement, but it was uplifting to hear that. Maybe this tokki guy was going through the same thing as her, so she didn’t want to judge too quickly. She was taught to never judge a book by its cover from you. By the quick blinking of her eyes, some tears dropped down to her cheek. She let out some sniffles on her way up to her dorm room, reassured that this stranger may just be correct. She heard what she needed to hear.

It’s been a long time since he reunited with his daughter, even if she’s fooled into thinking that the dream was just a dream. His status as a father was renewed. Even if he got a major scolding from Manwol upon his return at the hotel for ditching his shift.

“She blamed you in public? Oh no, my love.” You consoled your lover after he told you the tale.

A lot of iconic songs were released during this decade, so this dream accommodated it. It was set in a jazz bar, where all sorts of alcohol on display with assorted vinyl CDs by the platform at the end. Dimly lit with numerous empty tables and chairs, and it was only the two of you. Dressed to the nines for the occasion, your flimsy hands couldn’t stop playing with your hoop earrings. A definite staple while you swayed your hips to the beat of Superstition by Stevie Wonder.

Doyoung sat in one of the bar stools in a red v-neck top and flare pants, marveling at your physique and movements in that indigo romper. You could feel his fiery stare, your body flowing through the groove to capture him into your spell. The dream version of him always gets easily distracted when you act suggestive, especially when he isn’t in control physically. Only his words can he sort out.

Dancing towards him, you dragged his arms away from his seated position to lead him to the empty dance floor.

“Let’s dance off the stress, shall we?”

Pulling off the famous dance moves and grooving in freestyle, it was a blast. Both your young energies were in sync. From the funky beat, it shuffled into a slower yet soulful song. The unwinding mood could only mean that this dream was reaching its end. You took Doyoung’s arms again, placing one on your waist and the other interlocked with you. Taking the lead, you waltzed back and forth, twirling yourself in his arms.

Doyoung cracked a smile from the phone and in the dream, immersing himself in the lovely song. It was always played on the radio during the late-night shows, dedicated for the couples out there. With you, he could finally understand why couples request it every night.

“You are the sunshine of my life,” He sang along while feeling your heartbeat against his chest. “That's why I'll always stay around.”

“You are the apple of my eye,” You carried from where he left off, equally resonating with the lyrics. No matter how many times you’ve said or expressed your patience for each other, this song held a special place. It summed up everything you’re both fighting for.

“Forever, you'll stay in my heart.”

1980s

It came to Doyoung’s attention that there’s a new member of the hotel staff, and Manwol put him in charge of touring this new addition around and orienting them about the hotel rules. Considering he wasn’t busy, he went for it.

This person would be the replacement of Johnny, who finally passed through the afterlife in high spirits after his younger brother Mark took his rightful place as the heir of their family business. Originally, it was him, but his stepmother and stepbrother stabbed him alongside his father to get ahold of the power. Without proof, they led the business as she freely did, overworking Mark numerously and spending their money to their heart’s desire.

Doyoung couldn’t let this pass. Since Manwol hired a human manager back in the ‘70s named Kun to better facilitate human-related affairs for the hotel (taxes, bills, etc), he requested him to talk to Mark then introduce him to you.

Kun also made sure to inform you that this was Doyoung’s idea.

“This Johnny is the same Johnny that Doyoung talks about in my dreams? The one who brings the fun out of him every once and while?”

“That’s right, Ms. (Y/L/N). Due to the betrayal, he can’t move on until his stepbrother is taken down.”

The fact that Kun was a bridge to the two of you felt miraculous. Now and then, Doyoung tasked Kun to buy you flowers or coffee whenever they meet. Sometimes, he’ll ask him to send his letters to you too. In return, you replied to those letters, attaching pictures of you and Areum over time. He hung it up in his office, taking a look before every shift.

Kun didn’t mind being in the middle. While Doyoung gave her cases to work on, it makes it easier for him to wait for her. Doyoung was a guest first before being a member of staff, and as the human manager, he’ll make sure that he gets to move on too.

Even if you don’t accept cases from big companies, the touching way how Mark described his passed older brother persuaded her otherwise. He even opened up about watching his father and older brother get killed right in front of him. From there, he was held hostage for years and never told anyone about that night.

It was undoubtedly the biggest case in your career. Up until this day, everyone still talks about how complex and intense the battle was.

“Always finding a way to make justice prevail, Kim Doyoung.” You thought to yourself after gathering more evidence from Mark and Kun, working closely also with forensics and the police.

And that you did. With additional information on Johnny’s side, which helped find the empty puzzle pieces to prove his stepfamily’s guilt, they won the case. Life imprisonment and forced transferring of roles, Mark became the CEO. All those involved in hiding the truth got caught and fired from their positions.

You deserved your influential status, and due to your never-ending service, Doyoung found himself falling in love with you over and over again. Even from far away, you felt his connection and passion.

Currently, you were dealing with five cases, one of them being another request for Kun and Doyoung. It was for the murder of Yuta Nakamoto in the late 40s.

Being a migrant from Japan, numerous Koreans held grudges for their people. He was mistreated and disrespected, even if he had the most caring soul. He even found love, ready to get wed. But one normal evening after his job as a Japanese teacher, he was mobbed by Koreans and heartlessly killed. At first, he wanted vengeance. But after Manwol telling stories of souls burning into ashes when they get revenge, he changed his objective to watch the demise of all his killers, who became very influential people in Korean society.

Representing with you was his former lover, Sooyoung. No matter how many times she tried to appeal to the court in the past, no one paid attention because she was a woman and interracial relationships were taboo. Even if Yuta held a special place in her heart, she eventually got married to another man. In the beginning, she felt guilty, but after Yuta told her in a dream call that she shouldn’t be afraid to open herself up again, she never held back. And as a fellow woman who’s been ostracized, you sided with her.

She may not have her happy ending with Yuta, but it only felt right to avenge his wrongful death.

It’s a tough battle, these murderous men not owning up to their crime, and the public also discriminating the dead man by saying he deserved it. But you knew you could do it, even if it’ll take a while.

Back to the newbie, he was in his early twenties. He went by the name, Jaehyun. Just about to start his life, yet taken away just like that. Aside from being the next bartender, he has another position as the vinyl boy in the music section of the library. It came to Manwol’s attention that he wanted to pursue music when he was alive, listening to vinyl CDs or cassette players and taking singing and piano lessons growing up. While he figured out what he wants to do while moving on, he’d be in charge of organizing and playing music for the souls checked in. Sing even if requested, especially by the women who are charmed by his attractive looks.

He was a literal old soul, jazz being his favorite genre. Most of the time, he played Chet Baker or Frank Sinatra when it’s his shift at the bar. He was known for always showing his best and happy-go-lucky sides to everyone.

It took him a few years to start opening about his life, longer than most souls. But maybe because the trauma of it all stung. One night, when he, Doyoung, and Kun weren’t working, he mixed a few cocktails and completely fell off the radar.

“I was a part of a duo with one of my best friends, Hongseok. It was really fun to perform and make music with him, but then he suddenly got into drugs and had a ton load of groupies. I-I just couldn’t do it anymore with him if he wasn’t going to stop. Once I cut off ties with him, I was signed by a class A producer who loved my compositions. He even got me all sorts of opportunities to perform on TV, and I was so excited for it. But one week until I made my official debut, Hongseok reached out again with apologies, wanting to meet up so we can fix ties. I was hesitant, but I still give him the benefit of the doubt because we go way back….” He confessed, puffing out smoke from his cigarette and putting it down on the ashtray. Before he continued his story, he scoffed with profanities.

“That bitch. I fucking trusted him! I was too good to give him another shot. So after practice, he sent me an address to his apartment or so I thought. We were having drinks, just like old times. But something felt off feel when my mind started feeling hazy and I started coughing continuously because my stomach ached like crazy. He asked me if I was fine, and I told him I was. Then suddenly, baam!” He crashed his hands on the table, shocking the hell out of his two companions.

“Holy fuck, Jaehyun.” Kun cursed under his breath. Doyoung nudged him the shoulder to mind his language.

“The deities are watching you, Kun. Let Jaehyun-ie continue.”

So he did. “There I was, standing beside my dead body while Hongseok rummaged with surgical gloves through my bag to steal my notebook of songs. He planted cocaine on the table where I conversed with him, and also in front of my face. Beside my glass, he laid the vial of poison he used and called the cops. With fake tears, he cried on the phone saying that he came home to my dead body and a suicide note.”

Stillness between the three of them was filled with betrayal and disappointment. For a so-called friend, this must be the worst thing you can do to them. To lessen his suffering, Jaehyun brought back his actively lit cigarette and smoked it until all the tobacco was gone. Exhaling a dark grey smoke, he spat out.

“I-I couldn’t believe it, hyungs. I lost everything after making the wrong decision of seeing him. And now, he signed under that label that found me to “give honor to my talent”. How tragic that I suddenly took my life he’d say, oh bullshit! You took away my life because you were jealous!”

Kun decided to call it a night, requesting Yukhei who’s on duty to take Jaehyun’s upcoming shifts so he could calm down. Escorting his intoxicated figure out so the other guests won’t feel bothered, Doyoung contemplated if he wanted to forward another case to you. You’ve been getting so much workload lately, according to Kun, because your success rate is high and highly in demand.

“What happened to Jaehyun?” Manwol showed up from behind, sitting across him. “Did he finally tell his story?”

Doyoung mildly groaned, devastated by it. “He did, and it breaks my heart. He’s still so young, like me.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Manwol stirred the spare cocktail, ingesting it in one go. “Is it another case worth forwarding to (Y/N)?”

“If it helps Jaehyun move on, possibly. I know it’s hard to find staff these days, Manwol. Also, she’s stacked already. I don’t know if she’ll take it.”

She snickered, patting his shoulder. “You know if it’s from you, it becomes her priority. She loves you that much, you know.”

“I know, but I wish I could help her. In person. I would’ve been a lawyer and taken Jaehyun’s case if I were alive. Murder in the first degree, false reporting to the police, stealing, his persecutor is insane and still walking free.”

The fire of passion in Doyoung wasn’t new to Manwol, nodding as he spoke. He was capable of a lot of things, but the world just wasn’t ready to see it. She was more concerned at how the deities will react when he engages in human affairs again. Even if it helps a lot of ghosts move on, it’s highly discouraged to interfere with the living world. It’ll ruin the entire flow of the world.

Doyoung already knew what he got himself into, but it’s one of the few ways he still feels relevant. Always in service for anyone who needs it, dead or alive. If the deities take him away, it’s no joke that it’ll be a riot in the entire hotel.

“In that case,” Manwol’s piercing eyes scanned right at him, filling up his glass with vodka. Second to Doyoung, she grew a fond liking to Jaehyun. She never knew how much he’s been hiding during his stay. “Forward it no matter what. End his murderer’s career at all costs.”

Doyoung smirked, lifting his glass high to clink with hers then chugging it one go.

“I’ll investigate first with Kun to know more about Jaehyun’s life, then we’ll look for someone who wants to testify for Jaehyun to meet with (Y/N).”

Amid the craze and problems in the hotel, at least Doyoung was at ease with how successful his family. Areum became a well-known author for fairytales, got married, and had 3 kids of her own. She most definitely didn’t live down to Doyoung’s promise.

“Is he a nice guy?” Doyoung inspected the man who married his only daughter. It felt like yesterday they played around in the carnival room.

“He is, Doyoung. Intelligent and caring, nothing to worry about.” You calmed his shaking leg, resting your head on his shoulder while you watch the fireflies from the campfire set prepared by the deities.

“I’m just looking out for her, you know.”

“She most definitely does know, even telling stories about us to her kids. Our grandchildren.”

“It’s hard to believe that we’re technically old when we’re always young in these dreams.”

“Maybe it’s just you being used to your youth. Meanwhile, aging is beating my ass every day.” You joked, covering yourself up in the blanket you shared. Doyoung’s bottom lip jutted out, huffing at your mean comments.

“Yah, you take that back.”

“Make me.” You fired back, riling him up.

Doyoung in the dream attacked you by tickling your sides mercilessly. Your body uncontrollably arched back and forth, falling back to the blanket you sat at. He took the advantage to pin you down, gripping on your arms to the side. With his face near yours, you closed the gap with a cheeky kiss. His touch softened, allowing you to pull him lower by his collar. Your lips molded together in every movement, feeling his tongue lick your lower lip for entrance. You freely gave in, moaning filthily.

“Didn’t even have to test me like that, my love.”

How you wished this was longer, if it weren’t for the fast fading out, and morning has arrived again. A short-lived euphoria, yet it left your panties drenched under the covers. The arousal still ran in your veins.

“Kim Doyoung, you tease.”

Back to your real life, aside from bravely taking on controversial cases, there was a thrill in every case you did and it showed by your fast-paced talking and hand gestures. Whether you won or lost, mostly the former, knowing that you helped someone made your life more meaningful.

He often forgot how you’re a grandmother during your dream calls already as time flows differently within the living and the dead. They were the only way you can be youthful and energetic. But with your actual body, it began to weaken.

Early 1990s

Nature decided to take heavier measures on you physically. On one of the monthly visits to the doctor, she noticed something off with the checkup and tests. Especially in the chest area.

“Ms. (Y/L/N) (Y/N), I’m afraid that you have a growing lump in your breast.”

“Are you saying what I’m thinking?”

“If breast cancer is one of those though, then unfortunately yes.”

Areum was by your side that day, tearing up at her announcement. You, on the other hand, remained still and nodding at the truth. You’ve fought for a lot of things in your life, and you were so determined to beat this one.

Chemotherapy, medications, and scans are tiring and draining, but you managed to live for 2 more years. You’ve fully retired, and now and then, mentor the juniors with their cases. You’ve traveled to as many places as you can before the stages of cancer rose.

In your last months of life, you were bedridden in the most expensive hospital in Seoul, getting visits from Areum with her family, Jungwoo and Taeyong. As the latter served as definite friends to Doyoung, it was only natural to befriend them when they came into your life post-war. They supported Areum in any way they can too.  They’ve become a great company in your boring life especially in the hospital. Nowadays, Jungwoo loved sharing stories about his hyper grandchildren, who share similar traits to him, while Taeyong excitedly talked about his recent investment with a promising music company with the dream to debut talented individuals and go international in the long run.

“Mr. Lee Soo Man is dedicated to it! He hopes that next year, all his plans can start and be executed.”

“You’re always investing in start-ups, you know? You think this one will be bigger than the rest?”

“Music is universal, you know. Language barriers may be there, but music brings us together.”

Taeyong was always a delight to catch up with. However, you didn’t expect that conversation would be your last with him. A few days later, he suffered a sudden heart attack and passed. This was a sign that your time was coming. Your body falling more and more feeble every day as the disease fully took you over at night, the monitors always going on a high every so often.

It’s only a matter of time before you leave this life, and looking back, you’ve lived a tough yet productive life. Your daughter was happy and thriving in her career and family. You helped families and couples from their abusive households. You defended those with loved ones who were murdered, robbed, and lied to. You ticked off all you wanted to do beforehand.

Areum made sure to visit that night specifically as soon as she could. With your recent test results have been failing, her gut feeling kept insisting.

It’s a good thing she did.

Meanwhile, it was another day of work for Doyoung, just returning a bunch of books in their respective shelves after some teenagers left on the table. Before that, he bid Taeyong goodbye in the tunnel. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, so he couldn’t miss out on it. He shared any life stories he had with you, updating him about your state. Doyoung knew about it beforehand, and as selfish enough to look forward to it, it pained him to know you’re suffering. He only hoped you could fight through it.

“Doyoung-hyung!” Someone suddenly shouted, but he was shushed by an old lady reading her romance novel, who pointed at the sign that read “Keep quiet in the library”.

Doyoung was also annoyed, instantly nagging on the point person. “Kun! Can you read the sign? Jeez, this isn’t the first time so please-”

“(Y/N) is going off the monitor.” He blurted out. The news from one of the nurses he befriended buzzed through his phone. After finding out about his story, he wanted to help Doyoung especially when he was still alive. Doyoung may a part of the staff, but he’s still a guest. He dropped everything in his hands. Before he could race to the hospital, he changed into a specific outfit for this occasion.

This was it.

Areum was the only one by your side of your hospital bed, weeping due to your weak state. You didn’t want your other family members to witness this crucial moment. It stung that you’ll miss out on the futures of your grandchildren, but you were satisfied to just be a part of their lives. All this machinery trying to sustain your life served its purpose, but the illness you’re fighting was stronger.

“Mom....” Areum sniffled in her handkerchief, holding on to your boney hand. “I’m not ready for you to go.”

“Oh, Areum.” Your thumb caressed her soft palm as reassurance. “You grew up so well. An independent woman you are, you are so loved.”

“Mom, please....” She begged. “I can’t lose you too.”

You will never know how Areum held in her sorrow of not being able to grow up with her father. She hated the feeling of being fully abandoned. She wanted things and people to return to her, but she can’t make that choice. Being by her side all her life, losing you will be the hardest struggle she’ll have to face.

“Areum, you must understand...” You paused as a pang of pain in your chest stabs you. After a minute of enduring it, you continued. “...We are put on this world for a specific time. And if we’re called to leave, we must face it.”

She whimpered whilst holding on to your hand. She really thought you can get through this one like the rest, but your hair has gone, your body lost much weight, and your eyes lost their light.

“Mom, are you happy? You’ve fought through so much to get where you are. I can never do what you did.”

“Y-Yes, I am.” You stuttered, gracing a promising smile. “I had you, our families, and your father watching over me..”

The dreams you get on your birthday were fairytale-like stories that pushed Areum to become an author. She denied how unrealistic and supernatural they were at first. Another trait of Doyoung she got. However, when she noticed how wider your smiles are and energetic you get in the mornings after rather the feeling of distraught, she reckoned to believe they were something special. Despite knowing your love story and its downfall, she felt exhilarated at the things you and her dad did there. In a way, it brings him closer to her. But she still had that void.

“I envy you for that, mom. I wish I met him or at least came to me even if I least expected it!”

Oh, little did she know about that time in the bookstore back in the 70s. It was not coincidental; you and Doyoung planned it very well. You just played along to her complaint, alerted that this wasn’t your story to tell at this time. “Forgive your father just this once, okay? He never wanted this kind of fate for any of us. If one thing stayed constant in those dreams, it’s him always asking how you are doing.”

Her tears become uncontrollable, allowing herself to get puffy eyes and let it all out. “When you see him, please tell him I’m sorry and that I love him no matter.” “Oh, Areum. He knows that, so don’t worry about it.”

The clock was ticking for Areum before she’ll be asked to leave. With you bringing up her father again, she had one last question. Her courage to ask it was so little when she was young in fear you sulk and break down. It hurt her when the bad parts of your past tormented you.

“How much do you miss him?” The question put you in a point of self-reflection. The only person you’ve opened up to talk about him in detail was Areum. Even with your friendships with Taeyong and Jungwoo, there were some things you never disclosed with them. And never did they force you to answer because they can read you on the back of their heads: you’re still heartbroken, yet remained devoted to him.

“I miss him so much that even if this became my fate for accepting his notebook back in our university days, I would foolishly do it all over again. In those times he was no longer with us, it taught me to appreciate what and who we have in our lives because tomorrow is never guaranteed. From his impact, I learned to take care of myself again so I can take better care of you. I’m grateful you were born; he left a piece of him for me.”

“You’ve suffered so much, mom. I hope you can rest peacefully.”

“Thank you for never leaving my side, Areum.” A few tears escaped your eyes, infectious to your daughter’s gloom. “I love you.”

Meanwhile, Doyoung was right outside viewing you and Areum sharing your last conversation and goodbyes. As much as he looked forward to reuniting with you, he didn’t want to leave his only daughter alone. The deities should have shown her more mercy. Still invisible, he observed how Areum trembled when she heavily closed the door of your hospital room. Covering her sobs with her handkerchief, she took one last look through the small glass of the door. You dove into a deep sleep that would then be unawakened.

“I hope your next life is happier than this, mom, and you can cross paths again with dad and grow old with him too.”

Doyoung’s urge to show himself to his daughter to console her was overpowering him, but he restrained himself this time. A few hours later, your consciousness was faltering. Your five senses were losing touch one by one. Important memories of your long life played in your mind. Then your heart gave in and stopped beating. The doctors present there have pronounced you dead. The transition from your body to your soul watching it be covered by a blanket by the nurses was swift yet strange. You didn’t know where to go and what’s next. No book prepared you for this nor can you ask the doctors what to do. Standing there lost with so many questions, it only took someone’s enthusiastic calling for your name to soothe you down.

“(Y/N)!”

It hit you instantaneously that when your day comes, Doyoung would call for your name. Your old age and past illness really affected your memories. He was an honest man and kept to his word this time.

And there he was, just along the hallway.

This was no longer a dream.

This novel kind of exhilaration got you moving your feet, still sore and slow because you were still an old lady.

“Doyoung!”

You shouted back, over and over again before your boney hands slid open the door. At the same time, your old figure drastically and permanently transformed you back to your active twenties. Nothing physically hurt anymore and your energy was on an all-time high. Your room was the last on the floor, a dead end. The left side of the hallway was just a closed window pane.

When you stepped outside and turned to your right, there he properly stood. He wore the same suit and suspenders combination on the day he approached you on your bike. The actual soul of Kim Doyoung who was no longer behind the phone. No matter how many times he’s seen you from afar, it makes him lose his breath from the captivation. For once, he can see you without barriers.

You just realized how you were dressed back into the floral dress on the day you had your first proper conversation. It’s like you’re meeting each other again for the first time. The beeping sounds of the monitors, wheelchairs moving, and chitter-chatter exchanged by doctors went mute. Stunned, you couldn’t stop looking eye to eye at him, cherishing this special moment.

It finally processed to Doyoung that his patience and efforts paid off. In this journey of acceptance, while enduring its trials, it added up to this sweet result to be reunited with you. The adrenaline rush took control of your limbs, legs running to him on the other side.

As his arms widened for a hug, he spun and picked you around in the air. His arms firmly wrap around your waist while your head snuggled on top of his shoulder. You felt safe, warm, and alleviated. Once he put you back down, the overwhelming joy wasn’t keen to pull away from your lover. Doyoung’s lips somehow got closer to yours, your heart skipping beats and his familiar scent intoxicating your thoughts.

With Doyoung still having you wrapped in his arms, he took his awaited chance to close into your parted lips. The fluttering in your stomach was on overdrive, your entire body reacting immediately from his passion. One hand curled into a fist on the hem of his buttoned top while the other rubbed the back of his head. Your legs almost gave in, but with Doyoung’s strength, he held you tight. No previous kiss felt like this. You didn’t have to worry about getting caught by adults for such a provocative display of affection. Your roommate wasn’t going to splash water if she catches you getting frisky on campus. As for Doyoung, he didn’t have to get paranoid about what his classmates would say about their relationship. You were both in your own world for a while.

But wanting to catch a breather from his thrilling dominance, your lips hesitantly moved away first. You took your time to get lost in admiring his features. Wet, swollen lips, flushed cheeks, his dazed eyes, he was irresistible, to say the least.

This was how an almost 50-year build-up would end up to.

“My love, it’s really you,” You finally spoke, caressing your thumb on his flushed cheek. “You’ve been through so much.”

As lovestruck as he is, his pent-up tears streamed down instantly. Except they were tears of joy. All those years he held back.

“I’ve missed you so much, (Y/N). I’m just happy you’re finally here with me.”

He wasn’t joking when he said that the main lobby alone was exquisite after walking through the city. Aside from Kun, that’s where he introduced you to other staff he worked with, such as Jeno, Jaehyun, and the boss herself, Manwol.

“This boy stayed very loyal, you know?” She commended Doyoung. It was a rare thing with her cold-hearted and aggressive personality. “He read to a lot of kids, taught some of them too, and recommended great books for the souls to read. He listened to a lot of souls who wanted justice then forwarded them to you so they can cross the other side.”

An honor to hear from the owner herself, you glanced at Doyoung with so much love. Such a giver than a receiver.

Beside Manwol was someone whom you aspired to meet. Unfortunately, you never met the other boys you’ve helped, so this was a great chance to see at least one before moving on. Hearing about his case and the treachery of it, you made sure to work on it before you retired, eventually passing it on to one of your trusted juniors. So far, his side was winning and that’s all you wanted.

“Jeong Jaehyun.” You held on to his clasped hands as he bowed to you.

“Attorney (Y/L/N). I’m so grateful for what you’re doing for me.”

“Oh, just call me (Y/N). By the way, your side is winning, my dear. Your younger brother Sungchan is committed to clearing up your name, and that evil Hongseok will rot in life imprisonment for his crimes.” You updated him. Without self-restraint, his arms gather you in for a hug. Jaehyun wasn’t much for affection, but this felt like the right circumstance. In return, you hugged him back.

“Thanks to you, Johnny and Yuta are resting in peace.”

“And you are next, Jaehyun. My junior taking your case is topnotch, so you’re bound to get what you truthfully deserve.”

After sharing such a heartfelt moment, you asserted your attention to Jeno. Not going to lie, you’ve looked forward to meeting this boy the most. He was there with Doyoung from the very beginning.

“Doyoung-hyung gets giddy after he makes a call, and tells me everything that you’ve been up to.” Jeno joined in. “He gets grumpy though too, so I like pestering him around to light him up. Oh, I’ll never know what you see in him, (Y/N).”

That gave him a joking slap on the shoulder by Doyoung, signaling to cut it out.  

“Hyung!” He fakely cried, hiding his face behind Jaehyun’s shoulder.

You suppressed a laugh, eventually sputtering out like an engine. Doyoung sighed, failing to redeem himself. But it’s alright. A simple peck from you on his cheek got him all flustered.

“Aish, take your romantic shenanigans when you’re in your room, not in my damn lobby.” Manwol cringed, the evident love bug getting on her nerves. “Alright, everyone. Get back to work!”

Checking in your room was an experience. Since you’ve been to numerous places through the dream calls, there was one main thing you’ve missed to do with Doyoung. As soon as he lifted you by your thighs and roughly shoved his tongue down your throat, you were in for a heated evening. This dominant side of Doyoung when it came to sex was completely fresh. After diving into more erotica over time, he learned about visual porn through Johnny and Jeno. You can say that he studied it very well.

“Almost 40 years of waiting, (Y/N).” He trapped you from above, sliding one of his hands to your bare breasts until it landed on your clothed core. Rubbing up and down your clit in a torturously slow place, he smirked at your desperate whines. Your breaths turned heavy, soaked by his actions. “Remember when I told you to brace yourself back then?”

“Shit, Doyoung...”

“Shush love, I’m in control now. So be a good girl for me, alright?” He growled in your ear, sucking on your soft spot on your neck. You obeyed that night, unbuttoning his shirt impatiently only to reveal his toned abdomen then lowering his crotch to give it a tight squeeze.

He hissed against your neck, pushing your panties to the side and sliding in your wetness.

“You are asking for it now, love.”

A steamy night it was, making up for all those lost years.

The following day, the struggle to walk was real. Jeno even pointed out your limping when you were roaming around the library Doyoung worked at. You never had a younger sibling, but he acted like one. So you punched him in the shoulder to shut up. “Jeez, you’re both so physical. Let me live!”

“Jeno, you’re dead. Don’t say nonsensical things.”

You learned how this hotel’s main purpose was to guide and fulfill the last wishes of ghosts in the living world before moving on. When Jeno asked you if you still have unfinished business, you realized that there is one thing left. Even if you completed your bucket list, that one thing is only possible through the hotel. You and Doyoung sat across Manwol, monitoring your shared dream call like she always did.

“Is this really the only thing you want to do here, (Y/N)?” Positively nodding, she gave you the signal to lift up the phone.

Areum found herself in an unfamiliar forest nearby a river during the day. Even she’s always like playing outside with nature in her childhood years, this location didn’t ring a bell. In fact, she was physically back to being that young girl with the same mature mind in this dream.

She wasn’t a vivid dreamer like yourself, forgetting them as so as she woke up. Even in that “dream” with her father, there were so many gaps. So for this one time, she can fully grasp her surroundings. This dream must have a purpose, she wondered.

While she followed the path that the dream assumed for her to take, she then clearly caught a glimpse of a younger you at the end of that path. Running around and laughing in the grass.

“Mom!” She called out, moving at a faster pace. It’s a good thing this dream brought her back her agility.

At the end of the path, it unveiled you lying down on the grass. Wearing in a dainty dress that reminded her of the 50s, there was an unfamiliar young man beside you. His head face planted on the grass because you pushed him off your body when he tried to tickle you.

It turned out that she arrived at your favorite spot with Doyoung. She’s only heard stories of things you’ve done and talked about her, but due to the war, their spot was devastated. Soon after, it turned into a small condominium building overlooking the river.

“Areum!” You squealed cheerfully to hear her much younger voice. She tackled you in a hug, and you still naturally felt it from where you sat.

“My sweet child,” You cooed in her, patting her back. “How are you?”

“It’s been difficult, but I’ll get by in time.” That was the first thing she managed to say, the grief being very much fresh. No mother wants to be separated from her child, and you weren’t exempted. But that is how life works: you come then you go. The truth tends to hurt.

It was obvious to Doyoung that you were still saddened by leaving Areum, taking this opportunity to give you space and finally interact with his daughter. No disguises nor distance. While the most important women in his life are still hugging in the dream, he pulls himself off from the grass and brushes away some leaves from his hair.

“Areum, I see you paid me back by having top-selling books for children.”

Areum peeked from your shoulder to check who the other man was by your side talking to her. Once he was clean from dirt and leaves, there was the only person he resonated with her. From pictures and stories shared by you, the actual man was with her.

Her actual father was in this dream with her.

“Dad!” She abruptly pulled away from you to approach her father for a bigger hug. You don’t blame her for that, she deserved to see her father even for a bit.

Years of having that empty void only for her biological father, she could care less at this very moment

Doyoung has never cried in a dream call with you, however, this long-awaited moment with his daughter resulted in him softly bawling while feeling her hugs from the chair. He’s proud and at peace to move on not just as your lover or a passionate university student, but as a father.

In their moment of content, only there did it make complete sense to Areum at the unusual memory during the ‘70s at the bookstore wasn’t random. It proved that he really did his best to reach out to her in any way he could.

“This whole time, you were the mysterious tokki. I just thought it was a coincidence. I’m so sorry, dad, that I didn’t notice you.” She sulks. Doyoung in the dream pats her back while lovingly rubbing the nape of her head.

“Oh, Areum. Don’t feel bad. I just wanted to see how much my little girl became independent and studious.” He replies, comforting the disheartened child. “I read all the letters you sent me during my birthday. I was touched then and touched now for this moment. I am proud of you, my daughter. And my love for you never changed.”

The affirmation in his words put Areum in a state of joy, rekindling that spark from the 70s. “I love you, dad.”

Your last mission in this world was to have a special outing with your complete family. Regret was always prevalent in the past, wanting to do this and that but never pushed through. But not in this dream. Just the three of you, happy and carefree from it all.

Unfortunately, Manwol just gave a hand signal that your time was almost up. Time flies by so quickly when you’re fully immersed in something you’re enjoying. Doyoung wasn’t capable to bear the bad news, but with you by his side, you helped him.

“Areum, it’s time for us to go.”

Areum sighed, reality seeping back into the situation. One sleep isn’t enough to make up years of loss. However, she still managed to remain positive in those circumstances. “I wish things worked out differently for our family, but who knows what our next lives will take us?”

In an instant, the two of you in the dream gave your daughter a big group hug. One she’s always yearned for. It’s moments like this where you mustn’t take anything for granted with your family.

“I’m happy you’re reunited with each other, mom and dad. Rest well.” She whispers with a smile, feeling fulfilled. She can grace the living world without wondering how things would be like with a complete set of parents anymore. This dream call successfully filled that empty void in her heart.

Once you’ve bid your final farewell and hung up the phone, you and Doyoung can say the same. A little bittersweet, but it lightened all the burdens in your hearts. The both of you can ultimately rest peacefully and move on.

The timing was perfect for Kun to inform you that the car taking you to the bridge leading to the afterlife was ready.

Jeno, Manwol, Kun, and Jaehyun didn’t want to miss out on this moment, waving farewells to you both. This lifetime may have taken you away from each other physically for a long time, but you still held on to each other. Most people gave up, though it’s not wrong either. It’s better to let go rather than holding on sometimes.

But the both of you were different, something, not even the deities didn’t expect. It’s only up to them to decide if they’ll give you another chance to be together and relive a longer life. A very rare sight indeed. To be granted or not, your story set a standard.

That a love so strong is so patient it endured all the challenges and stress.

“On to the next life, Doyoung?” You asked him, leaning against his shoulder as the car drove under the tunnel. All at the end of it was merely a white sky, where a long bridge awaited them.

“Make sure you wait for me this time.” 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 317: My Boy Was Just Like Me

Previously on BnHA: AFO randomly blew up Lady Nagant as a good reminder of why you should never make a deal with this fucking guy, smdh. Hawks was all “well if it isn’t my two best friends, Deku and Lady Nagant, both of whom I respect and love tremendously.” Everyone was all “??” and Horikoshi was all “shh... just pretend” because it was too embarrassing for him to admit that he forgot to write a couple of set-up flashbacks I guess. Anyway so Hawks got Lady to tell them where AFO was hiding out, and everyone said goodbye to her and Overhaul, who never did get to see his boss (sorry buddy, I’ll send you a vial of my tears in the mail), and headed out to a house in the woods. AFO was all “hello Deku :) :) it sure is fun making you suffer :) :) :) anyways this is a trap”, and blew up the house. Yeah, we all here are getting reaaaaaaaal tired of your shit, AFO.

Today on BnHA: The Hawksquad and Edgeplatoon meet in a warehouse and are all “what should we do about the fact that everything sucks?” Mt. Lady is all “here’s a thought, what if we tried battling AFO with more than six people.” Hawks and Endeavor are all “great initiative, but just a friendly reminder that our friends also suck and would probably betray Deku which would suck further still.” Shouto is all “ANSWER THE PHONE DAD” and Endeavor is all “[IRONICALLY DOESN’T ANSWER THE PHONE].” Meanwhile over in Sadtown, capital of Sadland Prefecture, Japan, Deku is all “All Might, as you can clearly see I am completely fine and good, never been better in fact, definitely not caught up in the throes of an epic mental breakdown which is shutting me down emotionally, anyway so on that note I would like to leave you now goodbye!!” All Might is all “[can’t actually form any words because he’s too distraught].” Fandom is all “o(╥﹏╥)o.” Horikoshi is all “(*＾-’) 乃 [pew pew finger guns and barrel rolls into the darkness].”

sweet jesus lord

this literally doesn’t even look like Deku anymore?? this looks like Dark!Deku who shows up to fight you in that one room in the Water Temple. he looks like he’s about to crawl out of my television set and murder me with his psychic powers good lord

holy shit lmao Horikoshi is really just shrugging his shoulders and resolving last week’s cliffhanger with a single line of dialogue

fire is no one’s weakness. idk what other options you’ve got, AFO, but you’re gonna have to go back to the drawing board. maybe try bees or something. I’m just saying. we’re all expecting fire at this point but nobody is expecting bees

anyway so now they’re all sitting in some warehouse somewhere chatting about it I guess. shoutout to Horikoshi for finally giving my man Edgeshot some more dialogue at long last

well, Edgeshot, to answer your question, she exploded. so naturally she’s fine

nah just kidding, Hawks says she won’t be able to help them out much because she’s recovering from being exploded. this is the part where we all ignore the fact that Hawks got set on fire for like a full ten minutes back during the War arc and was only in the hospital for a day. anyways enjoy your temporary plot hiatus Nagant

man there’s a lot of dialogue here and I’m trying to figure out where to insert commentary but it’s kinda difficult lol. basically, Edge and the others are saying that they should gather up the other remaining heroes and get them all caught up on the whole OFA situation. which, hmmmm

like on the one hand, these guys definitely aren’t going to cut it on their own, so it’s a reasonable suggestion on the face of it. but on the other hand, do we really want to entrust the OFA secret to a bunch of other people, most of whom shat the bed during the War arc to be quite frank? is it really worth the additional risk? especially given that any one of them might go spilling the beans to the public -- or worse, betray them to AFO??

also just a quick side note here, Mt. Lady’s character development never ceases to delight me. she’s become so committed to her responsibility as a hero these days, and it fucking suits her. I genuinely consider to be one of the elites now. I mean it doesn’t hurt that all the other elites are fucking dead lol but still

wait what? Death Arms retired??

Death Arms as in the guy who was too afraid of a little fire to try and save a terrified 14-year-old kid who was slowly suffocating right before his eyes?? that Death Arms???? color me surprised. shocked, I tell you

...okay but holy fuck

Death Arms. bro. my expectations for you were low but holy shit. like I’m sorry, but I don’t even have it in me to try and pretend like I feel the slightest bit of sympathy for him or Old Man Samurai or any of those other guys today. thanks for a whole lot of nothing my dude. good riddance

(ETA: so I’m rereading this the next day and realize this comes off as kind of harsh, so let me just try to clarify. it’s not the fact that he’s quitting that bothers me, to be honest. it’s the fact that he’s quitting specifically because he feels like the public is being mean to him. that’s it.

seriously. it would be one thing if he was quitting because he was scared, because now that is human. nobody wants to die, and I doubt any amount of training can ever fully prepare someone to go up against that fear. but the thing is, he never once mentions that, or talks about the danger aspect. instead, I got the distinct vibe from this speech that Death Arms is one of those people who only became a hero because of the limelight. and I just don’t have any patience for that. if all you care about are likes and subscribes then go become a fucking youtuber or some shit. nothing wrong with that! but you didn’t; you signed up to be a hero and protect these people. they gave you their respect and admiration because they trusted you to protect them. and now that they’re no longer in the mood to worship and applaud your every move on account of them being scared shitless because they’re living in the literal end times, you decide to dip. so like okay, fine then. don’t let the door hit you on the way out. anyways lol sorry for the rant.)

anyway so yeah. perfect example of why I don’t exactly have a ton of faith in most of the remaining heroes out there lol. also let me just once again give a shoutout to my best girl Mt. Lady whom I suddenly find myself appreciating all the more

“please calm down makeste. drink some water and enjoy this fresh new jeans pun” listen Horikoshi don’t tell me what to do dammit

fine. it is a nice pun, I guess

-- damn so now Endeavor’s saying that the media is already being fed info by the retired heroes. so for some of these guys it wasn’t enough for them to abandon all the people they swore to protect and to leave their fellow heroes out in the cold; they decided they might as well actively make things worse for them while they were at it, huh. like I get wanting to spill all the dirty secrets from your old job that you just quit, but this isn’t Jeff Bezos you’re screwing over, this is a sixteen-year-old kid

-- like, yes!! this, right here!!

exactly!! let’s not forget that there are already two prior instances of this happening. Endeavor arguably deserved it, but Katsuki not so much

huh. Endeavor seems to have a more optimistic outlook regarding this than I do lol

I mean, this is the same public that didn’t hesitant to blame a kidnapped child for his own kidnapping, and then later on for being the downfall of the Symbol of Peace. but okay then

anyway so blah blah blah, more talk about how they need to use Deku as bait, which basically puts them back at square one, and then they’re all just trailing off into silence and sitting around in the dark lmao this is getting very depressing

SKDJFLSDKJ:LFKJ

SHOUTO?????

NOOOOOOOO ARE YOU KIDDING ME

OH HOW THE TURNTABLES OMG. THE GHOSTER HAS BECOME THE GHOSTEE. Endeavor you petty son of a bitch. and what a brutal cut to that flashback too. “let’s stop Touya together” nah Shouto I’ve got a better idea why don’t I abandon you in U.A. and sally off with Hawks and Jeanist to found the “let’s pretend like we’re doing something to help Deku” club, which basically consists of us sitting around making terrible decisions all day long

Shouto, honey. you deserve better my little Coca Cola can. .........but if you really do have something important you need to tell your dad you could just text it to him. all the love and support, hugs and kisses, you’re doing amazing sweetie. but if you need to pass on any vital information you can just write it down and hit send honey that’s all I’m saying love

now he’s getting another call?? -- or, no, Hawks is getting a call from All Might

ARE YOU FOR REAL HAWKS OMFG

so while you all were sitting around talking about how useless you are, the kid you’re supposed to be protecting was battling another hired gun. I see. please pardon me for one second, I have a phone call to make. the phone call is to RockLockRock and Manual. the reason for the call is to apologize for calling them the worst bodyguards ever back during the War arc. the reason for the apology is because it turns out I WAS SEVERELY MISTAKEN OMFG

JESUS CHRIST DEKU DID YOU JUST KILL THIS MAN LMAO

shoutout to Horikoshi for offscreening this fight. we get it, lol. Deku strong and scary, villains ineffectual and feeble, and AFO... [checks notes] yep, still a dick. the angst arc continues

-- the angst arc continues, SIR

jesus christ I may have to rethink all of my opinions about Deku being framed for murder in movie 3 lmao. never mind. he did it, your honor

holy fucking shit Deku. “he might blow up, so please be careful” fdlskjflk jlskdjflk lwkejflk anyway so I’ve decided the explosion running gag can stay, actually

DEKU WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH!!

lol why do I get the feeling some serious shit is about to go down. ALL MIGHT NEVER MIND BACK OFF I THINK HE NEEDS HIS SPACE

OH MY FUCK I GASPED OUT LOUD

NO NO NO. I KNEW THIS WAS COMING GODDAMMIT BUT NO. NEVER MIND, I CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT IT, I’M NOT READY TO CRY TODAY

shit. shit shit shit shit and OF COURSE all I can fucking think about is that stupid fucking prophecy and gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Deku please. please please please if you really are going to leave All Might here, please be so very careful in choosing your farewell words to him now because have this sudden horrible fear that this might be the last time you ever see him alive and oh god. oh god oh god

DEKU NO, YOU’RE REALLY NOT!?!?

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LESS FINE IN MY LIFE, ACTUALLY????

holy shit. and the fucking callback to the prophecy now. just in case we forgot. WHICH FYI, WE DIDN’T. but that’s basically confirming that this is all still very much on the table and HORIKOSHI NEVER FORGETS oh my god someone please hold me

and the fact that Deku’s flashing back to it now too, though?? because he never forgot either, because of course he didn’t, and now all this stuff is happening, and AFO’s words are getting to him, and this is literally his worst fear come to life and so of course he’s distancing himself from everyone, and now it’s finally come to even this. even the person he admires most

-- OKAY NO, FUCKING COME ON ALREADY I CAN’T TAKE THIS

I GET IT OH MY GOD, I ALREADY UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF THIS MOMENT WITHOUT ALL OF THE DEVASTATING FLASHBACKS THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! YOU ACTUALLY DO WANT ME TO CRY, HUH, IS THAT IT. THIS MAN THAT HE THINKS OF AS A FATHER, THIS MAN WHO HAS BEEN EVERYTHING TO HIM SINCE HE WAS A VERY YOUNG CHILD. EVERYTHING THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH, JUXTAPOSED AGAINST EVERYTHING DEKU IS UP AGAINST, EVERYTHING THAT’S AT RISK. LET’S JUST PUT IT ALL SIDE BY SIDE. LET’S JUST PILE ON ALL OF THE FEELS

(ETA: just a quick note that even though some of the posts I’ve read have described these as All Might’s flashbacks, I’m pretty sure they are Deku’s. most of these are scenes that only he was there for, so yeah. even though All Might is the one thinking the thoughts on the next page, the flashbacks are what’s running through Deku’s mind right now, and so we’re getting that emotion from both of them, which makes it extra devastating lol.)

wait, what???

WHAT??? do you really think that’s why he’s been so determined to protect you this entire time?? simply because you’re his successor?

-- oh no wait lol I think I got that mixed up, this is All Might saying that Deku feels the need to protect him. well that makes more sense lol

oh my god I cannot

his last words. his last words to him. and we can’t even see if he is smiling, like All Might always encouraged him to do. but what are the odds he can’t actually bring himself to do it. what are the odds he’s actually crying. oh god this scene is going to rip my heart out and STOMP on it in the anime isn’t it. Deku’s VA is going to full on murder me with emotion. not that there’ll be much of me left to murder after the thorough job that Horikoshi has already done here

YOU’RE CRYING. DEKU IS LEAVING ALL MIGHT AND IGNORING HIS OUTSTRETCHED HAND AND YOU’RE CRYING. AND BY “YOU” I MEAN “ME”, FUCK

nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope no words just feels just a big ol’ pile of feels. I do not have the strength. future me... [broadly gestures] good luck with all that

(ETA: LOL, WELL THEN.

what breaks my heart here is All Might. All Might, and everything he’s been through, and history repeating itself, and forcing him to live this moment from both sides because he wasn’t strong enough to fix things.

Toshinori had only just turned eighteen when Nana died. like, I feel like we don’t mention this enough. the All Might we know is a sixty-something-year-old man, and so everyone always talks about him like he’s basically been an adult forever. but he was a child when he met Nana. and he was still just a child when she died. barely a year older than Deku is now. younger than Mirio was when we first met him.

and we don’t talk about that. we don’t talk about how devastating that was for him. and we don’t talk about how the reason he grew up to become so reserved and withdrawn -- for all that he always tried so hard to outwardly project the image of a bold, confident, smiling hero -- was specifically because of what AFO did to him. because AFO targeted him in the exact way that he is now targeting Deku. because that’s what he does. he goes after every new user of OFA, and he finds out what’s most important to them, and then he destroys it. and for Toshinori, that was Nana. if you’ve read All Might Rising, you know that AFO basically killed her in front of him (and only killed her, while letting Toshinori and Gran get away). Toshinori (while crying) later says she was like a mother to him. and interestingly enough, during this same conversation, Gran tells Toshinori that he can see “that madness in [his] eyes” when Toshi talks about becoming strong enough to defeat AFO. madness in his eyes. sound familiar??

what’s happening to Deku now is the exact same thing that happened to Toshinori when he was a boy. AFO tried every bit as hard to break him as he’s trying with Deku now. “the path you’ve chosen is a thorny one. every battle grinds away at your soul with no end in sight.” we don’t talk about how Toshinori experienced this same thing for forty fucking years. and all the while isolating himself, exactly like Deku is doing now. pushing people away, exactly like Deku. because he never had anyone who was able to reach out and pull him back. and those words that he now finds himself frozen and unable to speak -- “don’t push yourself”; “you can rest” -- are the same words that no one ever said to him until decades later, when it was already far too late to make any difference.

everything that Deku is experiencing now is what Toshinori also went through. and it’s only now, as he watches it happen to his student, the boy he loves like a son, that he’s finally starting to realize the full extent of how wrong it was. you shouldn’t have to fight alone. you shouldn’t have to bear that kind of enormous burden alone. you shouldn’t have to push yourself, and you can rest. you can rest.

but it’s too late. just as he’s finally coming to understand it all, it’s all too fucking late. and he can’t say the words, he doesn’t know how to say the words, and then just like that, Deku is gone.

and he’s alone. again.)

I can’t. this can’t be their goodbye. I’m not ready. for this to be how they finally part, and then they never see each other again except in OFA. how is that fair. how is that fair. how is that fair

fuck me. lol. how many pages are left in this thing. let’s just wrap this up lol. so now of all the times for this fucking guy to finally show up

I can’t believe Stain has been here literally this entire time hiding behind this random wall and cutting onions. that was you who was cutting the onions, right. no need to answer that we’ll just say it was

HORIKOSHI JUST END THE CHAPTER PLEASE I’M OUT OF SPOONS. YOU HURT ME SO GOOD AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT BUT YOU NEED TO LET ME GO NOW SO I CAN BEGIN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO PUT MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER HERE. SO WHERE ARE WE CUTTING TO NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

Stain did you also let AFO give you a new quirk. what’s with you guys. do you like blowing up

oh nvm lol because they were talking about THIS GUY ohhhhhh my fucking god

THAT’S BECAUSE HE’S SAD, LINDA!! jesus

omfg. and so yes, good, the chapter is ending here now on page 15. for once I am FULLY on board with that lmao

anyway so tune in next week for more adventures of Werewolf Deku!! that is, assuming we don’t finally cut back to U.A. at long last, which is actually a strong possibility considering that this chapter will likely mark the end of volume 31. it sure wouldn’t kill Horikoshi to start giving us some hope after everything he’s just put us through lol. KACCHAN COME GET YA BOY

[libraryofloveletters]

prompts 8 + 9 for Buck omgggg 🥲🥲🥲

Can’t Lose Him

Evan Buckley x Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of hospitals and injuries, minimal swearing, mentions of pregnancy and Chim’s accident, big brother!Chim

Prompts: #8: “you promised me you wouldn't be reckless! You promised me!” #9: “Does he know about the baby?” 

Category: mix of angst and fluff

Word Count: 2.4k

Author’s Note: I loved writing this so thank you for requesting! :) 

---

Pacing the room, Hen reached out for your hand. “C’mon, your feet must hurt. Sit down” you sighed, once again you were in a hospital waiting room in the middle of the night with the team and Maddie because Buck’s idiotic self got himself hurt again. 

“I’m okay Hen, thank you” you gave her a slight smile. Bobby was talking to the doctors because you couldn't bring yourself to hear what he’s done this time. Bobby returned, Athena by his side now. “Oh honey,” she pulled you into a hug, you could feel yourself melting into her arms, she sat with you and her arm wrapped around your shoulder. Bobby sat to the other side of you. 

“The doctor said that the pressure of the block cracked a rib, which then punctured a lung. He also has a mild concussion but they say it shouldn't be too bad” 

“Is he out of surgery ?” 

“He is, but he’s in recovery now. It might be a little bit before we get to see him” Bobby gives your shoulder a squeeze, you nodded.

Taking a look around the waiting room, Chim held Maddie as she slept with her head on his shoulder. Eddie sat to the other side of them, on the phone with Carla and Christopher. Hen was now talking to Bobby about something. 

This wasn't an unusual scene but a familiar one. Regardless of what was going on or who it was, the 118 always shows for their own. 

A rather tall man came into the waiting room. “Buckley ?” he called out, everyone stood, the doctor seemed surprised to see so many people at 4 in the morning. Your hand was resting on your stomach, you could feel eyes burning into your side. Looking to the left, Chim’s eyes were fixed on your hand, you nodded in his direction with your brows furrowed. He shook his head, you didn’t think much of it. 

“We can take one person in if someone would like to go in now? He’s still asleep but he’s stable as of now” your heart sunk at the term “as of now”, shaking the feeling, you look over at Maddie. 

“Do you want to go in first ?” 

“You go ahead, I'll walk with you and then I'll see him after. I might take a lap, my back is killing me” she gave your hand a squeeze, the two of you followed the doctor to a room down the hall. 

She came in for a moment to kiss her brother’s head and then left you alone in the room with him. You sat at his bedside, your hand held onto his. His hand was cold, the monitor was still going and you could hear his heart beating through the deafening silence but it felt strange. 

Every time you found yourself back here, it felt odd. 

Buck was a warrior in every sense of the word, he pulled through, always. 

“Oh baby, what did you get yourself into” sighing and leaning back into the chair. Once again, your hand comes down to rest on your stomach, the other hand still holding Buck’s. His hand twitched slightly, he was starting to wake up. “Don’t move hun,” your hand rested on his chest softly, Buck’s brows furrowed. 

“Wh-who are you?” his head tilted slightly, your heart dropped. The panic started to set in but you knew better than to let him see it. 

He’ll come around, he’s just woozy from surgery. 

“Why are you here?” he asked once again, “I'm-” you started but was cut off by a little chuckle from Buck. “You ass!” you let out a breath, “god, you scared me”

“Sorry baby, I didn't mean to scare you” 

“Yeah? So why am I sitting in a hospital room while you’re all banged up” 

“We could bang if you wanted” he gave you one of his stupid wicked smiles

“Evan Buckley!” you scolded him, “now is not the time” your hand held onto his arm, your finger tracing over the tattoo on his bicep. “You really scared me, the whole punctured lung this isn't a cute look Buck” 

“Really ? And here I was thinking that I was pulling it off” 

Something flipped in you, you went from relief to anger in .2 of a second. “How could you?” hitting his shoulder, you stood up. “Ow! What did I do ? I'm just laying here” Buck whined, you know you didn't actually hurt him, he's just being dramatic. 

“I know it’s your job to run into burning buildings but would it kill you to be safe? You can't fucking save anyone if you’re dead Evan!” 

“Woah, calm down first of all, and why are you calling me Evan ?” 

“Is that not your frigging name ?!” 

You were starting to lose your patience. You loved Buck, any and everyone knew that but you couldn't deal with how stupid he could be sometimes. He’d run straight into danger to help others but not once would he stop to think of what could possibly happen to him. 

“Where is this coming from ?” he asked you, looking at you. He reached for your hand but you pulled away. You find yourself pacing again, trying to calm yourself before you strangle him with his IV line. “What do you mean ‘where is this coming from?’ you had a giant block of concrete on your chest Buck! If Eddie didn't find you, you'd be dead, you were on the verge of death as it is.” 

“You don-” 

“I don't know that ? I know you’re dumb enough to run into a collapsing building, especially after Bobby told you not to go back inside” you gave him a look, your back up against the wall. Buck’s face went pale, he looked as if he saw a ghost. 

“What? You thought Eddie wouldn't tell me about your little stunt ? You should know better than that.”

“Y/n, baby, I didn’t think anything would happen to me” 

“You never think Buck, that's the problem! You promised me you wouldn't be reckless! You promised me! but you never listen, you never do. One of these days, you're going to walk in and not walk back out.” storming out of the room, Buck sat on the bed, his mouth hung open and confused as to what brought on the fit of rage you just had. 

Maddie walks into the room, “where’s y/n?” she sits beside him. Buck rubs his forehead, “um- she just went for some air” 

--

It was around 5:30 in the morning, you sat outside on the hood of Buck’s jeep. You had dropped him off at work and taken the jeep for the day, hence why you had it right now. 

Peaceful.

That’s how you’d describe your surroundings. There was no one in the parking lot, you laid back on the hood as your hand came down to your stomach once again, staring aimlessly up into the sky. It wasn't dark but the sun hadn't fully come up yet. It was right before dawn, the world felt like it paused, not completely, but just enough for you to take in these few moments of peace. 

The weight shifted on the jeep, you opened your eyes to see Chim climbing up to sit beside you. “Hey, everyone’s looking for you” he says, laying back onto the hood beside you. “Yeah, I just needed some air” lying through your teeth, you give him as best of a smile that you could muster up. Chim’s eyes fixated on your hand once again, you watched him, practically hearing the turning in his head. 

“What's going on in there? The rebar taking its effect now?” you joke, he rolls his eyes. 

“Does he know about the baby?” he asks, you sit up and turn towards him. You hadn't told a soul. 

“How did-” 

“Maddie does it to- the hand on the belly thing. She's been doing it since before there was a bump. Just a motherly reflex I suppose” 

You stared off into space, Chim sat beside you quietly. “Does he know?” he asks once again, you shake your head. “I know it’s not my place,” he rests his hand on your shoulder, “but I think you should tell him. It might keep him from running into buildings without thinking.” 

“Did that work for you ?” 

“What do you mean ?” 

“When Maddie told you that she was pregnant, did you think twice before running into a burning building ?” 

“Honestly, at first it didn't. It didn't seem real until I saw the bump and heard the heartbeat. Then it all made sense ya know ? I couldn't risk getting hurt because I had something to live for, they were waiting for me to come home” 

“That's the thing, I don't want to lose him, Chim. I can’t lose him. I love him and I need him here, the baby needs him. There’s no way I can do this by myself” 

“You can, I know you would be able to do it by yourself but you shouldn’t have too. Buck’s an idiot but he loves you.”

Chim sat with you for a few more minutes, you considered everything he told you. How Buck might not change right away nor did you expect him too but if there was even a chance of him changing, you’d want him too. “Ready to go back in?” Chim slides off the hood, holding his hand out to you. You hold his hand and he helps you off the hood.

“We have a stop to make first” you walk in the opposite direction of Buck’s room. Chim follows you down to the gift shop, which was closed as it doesn’t open until 7.“Are you kidding me?” you groan, leaning back against the door. “We’ll figure something out,” Chim looks around. Eddie comes around the corner, “what are you guys doing here?” he walks over. 

“I needed something for Buck” 

“What did you need? Can’t it wait until they open?” 

“Eddie, I'm pregnant” you just blurt out, Eddie’s jaw drops, literally. 

“Congratulations!” he pulls you into a hug, “wait, you’re happy about it right?” he checks, you nod. 

“I need one of those stupid “world’s best dad” shirts for Buck but it's closed” 

Eddie looks at Chim and then looks around. “Are we gonna?” Chim points towards the door, looking at Eddie. “Yup” Eddie looks around once more, “lean your head towards me y/n” your face screws into a weird expression but abides anyways. Eddie pulls a bobby pin out of your hair, turning to the door and jams into the lock. He wiggles the pin around until the lock clicks open. 

“Voila” he smiles as pushes the door open. The 3 of you walk in, Eddie stays by the door to make sure no one was coming. “Chim, find a pen and paper for me please ?” you walk away to find the shirt you were looking for. Picking up 4, you shove them into a bag form behind the counter. You toss $30 onto the counter and scribble a little note for the person that opens that read: 

Had an emergency, needed a few shirts. Hope this cash covers it. Thanks! :) 

Eddie relocked the door before heading to Buck’s room. Everyone was now in the room, scattered in different places. Bobby was leaned up against a wall, Athena stood beside him, leaning into his side. Hen sat on the little counter by the window and Maddie was still in the chair beside his bed. Eddie went over and joined Hen by the window, Chim stood behind Maddie, his hand coming up to her shoulder. 

“Y/n..” Buck whispers as you walk in, you take a seat on the end of the bed by his hips. “I’m sorry” he says, his hand reaching out for yours. 

“You’re an idiot but, I guess, I forgive you” you say and Buck smiles at you. “What’s in the bag ?” he asks, you rest the bag on your lap. “Something for you boys” The guys exchange looks, Eddie and Chim knew you needed something for Buck but what did you get for them? 

Pulling out the shirts, you handed one to Buck first. It was a plain blue t-shirt with big white bold letters that read “world’s best dad”. Buck looked down at the shirt and then back at you, he repeated that process a few times and after a couple minutes he finally asked you. 

“Are you ?” he whispers, the room is silent. 

“Am I?” you ask.

“Pregnant ?” he finishes the question and you smile. 

“Yeah, I am” your hand rests on his, he pulls you into his side for a hug. You hug him, trying not to squish him and hurt him even more. 

“Okay,” you sit up and toss another shirt that said the same thing to Eddie. He caught it and smiled, “because Christopher couldn't have a better dad than you” Eddie gives you a smile and whispers a thank you. 

The next shirt gets tossed to Chim, he laughs. “You got one for me too?” he asks, pulling the shirt on over his sweater. “Yeah because baby girl Buckley is gonna be one lucky baby, despite your not-so-funny dad jokes” Maddie laughs at the comment, Chim does too. 

The last shirt goes over to Bobby. He gives you a look, “what’s this for ?” he asks, “Because not only have you been amazing with May and Harry but you’ve got a fire station full of ‘children’ that rely on you. Just a thanks for bringing them home in one piece, well for the most part” you pat Buck’s side.

The room is filled with happiness and love, the 118 was together once again, not just as firefighters but as a family. 

-- 

taglist: @ssa-volturi @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover

[arknights-imagines]

henlo!! could i request a mountain/doc imagine where an unexpected attack is launched upon the doctor and mountain quickly goes to protect them? if possible, could fluff be incorporated into this too?

..man, the line where mountain says; “rest assured, im here to protect you” had me turning into a small blob…

Hiya anon!! 🥳 Tysm for this request, it's so sweet sgshsgsh!! 🥺💕

Sbjshsjs Mountain is a great character!! Aaa he really grew on me while I was writing this, I'll happy write for him again!! 👉👈 and yes, some of his voice lines are so gentle and sweet sgshsgsh!! 🥺😭 I can definitely see why you transformed into a blob because of them lolol

I incorporated the voice line you mentioned into the writing piece just because it fit so well! 🙏 This is my first time writing for Mountain so I hope I handled his character okay 🥺👉👈

Tysm and please enjoy!! 🥳 Hopefully I did Mountain justice sbjshsjs 🌸

--------------------

Safe Haven

Imagine format; mixed perspectives (written in second person!)

Contains: Mountain, gender-neutral Doctor as the reader, brief mentions of explosions and injuries, fear, slight violence, very vague spoilers for Episode 8 regarding the Reunion, implied established relationship (Sort of? It's up to the reader!), and a fluffy ending at the end!! 🥺

Word count: 1.8k!

--------------------

You weren't prepared. How could you have been? It all happened in mere seconds.

A small groan left your lips as you regained consciousness, ‘What...happened?’; you recalled being distubed by yelling while you were reviewing a battle formation, sitting around idly and waiting for Amiya to brief you on the squad’s next steps. Before you could investigate, a massive, ear-splitting explosion erupted in the center of the camp, tossing you backwards into crates of cargo - the bomb might as well have gone off inside of your head, because it shook you so much that every thought in your brain had scattered.

How they found the small Rhodes Island camp that had been set up, you didn’t know; you didn't even know who ‘they’ were. But that was irrelevant, first priority was figuring out what had happened and evacuating.

Considering the pain that was throbbing through your body, you were in no state to move, and you were most definitely in no state to think critically, but you forced your mind to gather itself regardless - now was no time to start floundering.

As you sat with your back against what was probably one of the crates you had been thrown into, your vision came into focus; your eyes flicked around in an attempt to get a better grip on your surroundings. There was billowing, thick smoke coming from farther away and the camp tents you could see were collapsed, flapping limply in the wind - you didn't see any Rhodes Island Operators or staff nearby.

Your eyes grew wide when they caught view of your arm; most of it was being pinned under a cargo crate, one too heavy for you to pull your arm from under it. Unfortunately, before you could even begin looking for a way to free your limb from its trap, the sound of nearing footsteps and voices sent a frisson of cold shock through your body: “Did you find them yet?” There was a beat of silence before a second voice answered, confused, “Find who?” An aggravated groan came from the first speaker, “Who else; the one called the Doctor! One of you better find them now, or this’ll all be for nothing!”

For a moment, your heart stopped in your chest - these people were looking for you, and there was clear malice in their intent. Panic began making your heart palpitate and your stomach feel heavy; you were in no condition to fight, with your arm stuck you couldn’t run, and the only thing keeping you hidden was a few crates of cargo.

One of the voices from before caused your shaky breaths to halt; “Did you check over there?” There was a pause, then another voice replied, “Those cargo crates? No…” They trailed off - when you began hearing footsteps nearing, tendrils of heavy dread constricted your chest. You screwed your eyes shut, bracing for a hit, a yell, or whatever came next.

You heard the crate in front of you scrape the ground; even with your eyelids shut tight and your limbs - apart from your trapped arm - pulled inward you could still feel a menacing aura hang over you when the crate was pulled aside. You had been found.

Your assailant took in a sharp intake of breath before spitting their words out, “There you are. Trying to hide, are yo- UGH!!” Their pained yell caused you to jolt, as if ice water had been poured over your form, and finally your eyes snapped open. Your assailant had been slammed into the ground, and when your gaze looked up - your widened eyes came upon a familiar, imposing figure of white and black.

“Mountain?” Your call of his name came out as a gasp, filled with uneven amounts of fear, confusion and relief. Over your assailant he stood tall and threatening. His ears perked up at the sound of your voice, and when he met your eyes his own softened by a hair. The Feline must've only read the fear in your voice, because his next words tried to bring you ease, despite being a stark contrast to his following actions - “Doctor, calm yourself. I’m right here; rest assured, I’m here to protect you.” He then returned his attention to your disoriented assailant; with a yank of their ankle and a harsh blow to the face by Mountain, they were no longer a threat.

The Guard Operator was crouched before you seconds after, hands surprisingly gentle when they came to rest on your shoulders, “They’ve been dealt with. Now breathe, Doctor.” His tone was firm and steady - you followed his instructions and let the tension release from your body. Eyes carefully scanning over your form, Mountain took note of your trapped arm before you could point it out yourself. Carefully, he lifted the crate and laid your arm in your lap; you were bleeding, but thankfully the pain wasn’t unbearable.

As the Feline helped you to your feet, he spoke again, “Are you hurt anywhere else?” You shook your head, “N-No, I don't think so…” A nod came from him in reply, “You need to stay alert, there's still more of them searching for you.”

Expression now less panicked and full of thankfulness, you looked up at him, “Thank you Mountain, thank you. I was worried that no one was coming-” “I owe my life to you, I would never leave you to fend for yourself.” The sincerity in his voice caused your heart to warm - unfortunately the sensation was ephemeral, cut short by the distant pounding footsteps and shouting racing closer. The people after you were clearly persistent.

Firm but gentle, Mountain pushed you behind him before standing in front of you protectively. He looked towards the direction of the clamor, then spoke to you quietly from over his shoulder, “Doctor, stay close and follow my lead. I’ll protect you.” At those words, the icey fear in your body melted; it was as if you had been standing in a bitter Kjerag snowstorm and the Feline had come to wrap you in a soft, warm blanket.

Your assailants approached fast; they had you and Mountain surrounded within moments. Like a fire, his aura roared with intensity - though it intimidated your attackers all you felt was safety. The Feline’s tone of voice didn't waver once as he addressed the crowd around both you and himself, “If you want them, you’re going to have to get through me.” Finally, he readied his fists,

“Bring it on, you scoundrels!”

…

“You’re awake. Don’t be afraid, I’m right here.”

Rather than jolting awake, a certain Feline’s voice gently coaxed you into consciousness. Eyelids fluttering open, you mumbled Mountain’s name softly; your head rested in his lap and his coat was draped over your body, acting as a blanket. Your gaze scanned around a little more - the wound on your arm was now dressed with bandages, and you were no longer at the Rhodes Island campsite, but it didn't look like you were back at the landship either.

Before you could ask, the Guard Operator spoke first, “Amiya had called in air support to transport everyone away from danger just after the explosion. We and the rest who were stationed at the camp are flying back to Rhodes Island as I speak.” He paused, and you let out an audible sigh of relief, “The attackers fled, and they were quite uncoordinated. It’s unlikely that they’ll pursue you again. This is simply a guess but… I assume they must’ve been whatever is left of the Reunion.”

Understanding, you nodded a little. A comfortable silence soon embraced the both of you; you lost yourself in thought and Mountain’s eyes looked down towards his lap, studying your facial features gently. Your voice was gentle when it broke the quietness - “Mountain? Thank you again, for protecting me back at the camp. I mean it.”

The Feline tilted his head to the side and lifted a brow up, “You’re thanking me again? I can't tell if you’re being sincere or repetitive.” Absent-mindedly, his palm hovered where your arm was draped over the middle of your torso, “Don’t worry. Protecting you is… important to me. You are important to me.” He hesitated for a moment, but then his larger hand came to rest upon yours, “I may not have the power to save you from all harm, but I will keep fighting so I may become strong enough to face any threat that crosses you.”

His words were so honest - you could tell from the expression on his face that he was a little uncertain, however. The last thing Mountain wanted to do was scare you, but he was also intent on being his truest around you. The Feline sighed a little, “So there you have it. If that makes you afraid in any way, I-”

He stopped short when you lifted your head from his lap and sat up; before the Feline could even ask, you had sat yourself comfortably in his lap then met his gaze with sincerity in your eyes, “Anthony.” His real name from your lips was not entirely unfamiliar, but it still caused suripse to paint his face. Now that his rapt attention was on you, you went on, “You’ve never scared me, not at all. I know you see your true nature to be violence but… you make me feel safe. You’re my safe haven.”

Perhaps that was nonsensical. To most, and even Mountain himself, he embodied anything but safety. When faced with opponents, he always lived up to his name - immovable, towering, strong. However, as fierce as this mountain was, he never frightened you; he kept you from harm, he stood between you and danger without any hesitancy. For you, nowhere else felt safer than his side.

Your gaze never left Mountain’s once - you watched as eyes widened at your words, then filled with warmth. He was quiet for a moment, then - “You… you’re an interesting one, huh?” He exhaled, “I want to reprimand you for being so carelessly trusting, but I can't bring myself to.” You grinned softly, and the Feline mirrored it. “But… if that’s indeed how you feel, then I’ll keep going further. Thank you, Doctor.”

You were quick to shake your head; shifting closer, you let your head rest on his shoulder before you replied, “No need to thank me, Anthony. I should be the one thanking you.” Your words were repetitive again, but Mountain felt his grin widen at them regardless.

You two were only just escaping danger, and yet there was not an ounce of tension or worry in the air around you. He was marvelled; you were causing a smile to come to his face and warmth to bloom within his chest, simply by allowing him to hold you. With you in his lap and your head on his shoulder, Mountain felt embraced by warmth, by safety.

It was there, with his arms wrapped protectively around your body that he decided:

He was perfectly okay with being your safe haven for however long you wished - because you were slowly becoming his.

[usedtobe-angstyoikawa]

Found you

Oikawa Tooru x gn!reader

Summary: you fell in love with him at the wrong time, slight enemies to lovers trope

Warnings: angst (disappointed but not surprised)

Word count: 1909

a/n: sorry I’m a sucker for pain and I’ve been CRAVING unrequited-love-kinda-heartbreak for the past week so yeah sorry again. Also I just finished reading the song of Achilles and didn’t cry so I NEED this

———————————————————————

You first thought he was an asshole. Always wanting to be the center of attention, being the teacher’s pet but talking shit about them as soon as they turned around to continue with the lesson. He was the typical perfect boy who everyone loved, so sweet, so polite, so talented. Or so they thought.

You changed school during your third year of high school and started going to the same one as your childhood friend, Aoba Jōsai High. Kyōtani (aka mad dog) wanted to join the volleyball team but didn’t want to go alone ‘cause he knew he’d screw it up and go back to training by himself. So, you offered yourself to go with him and apply for the manager position. Boy was that the worst choice you’d ever made. Not only did you have to spend lots of time (worth of studying) in that stupid gym but you also had to deal with their self centered captain. The first thing he said to you was “hey cutie where’s my hug at” (a/n: I’m so sorry but he would) you wanted so badly to punch him in the face, but you knew better so you just rolled your eyes and ignored him.

He kept flirting with you every now and then but he grew tired of your indifference pretty quick and started behaving like the spoiled child he was. He’d argue with you during practice over some stupid shit or blame you for having given him really cold water to drink during the last match on purpose just to make his throat sore and sabotage his performance. You were petty and didn’t let him off with this behavior so easily, you’d point out every wrong answer he gave during class just to piss him off or boo him every time he’d miss a serve.

The team seemed to find your relationship with Tooru entertaining. They’d make bets without the two of you knowing, wondering who’d win the next argument or how long it would take you to punch their captain in the face.

After a few months as the team manager you grew closer to the boys and started to listen to their personal problems, giving them the best advice you could think of in order to help them out. They became your friends. Even Oikawa came to you every once in a while to ask for your opinion on some ugly outfit he was thinking of wearing to some party, only to then clarify that he was asking you so he’d do the opposite of what you’d said.

Eventually the bickering ceased and you two started to get along, greeting each other when you crossed in the hallways and making small talk when you were the only ones left in the gym. That last one happened very often. Oikawa was known not only for his good looks and popularity but also for his hard work and volleyball skills. You’d seen him staying at the gym practicing until god knows what hours of the night, Iwaizumi always being the one trying to get him to stop but failing.

One night it was just the three of you, you were about to leave when the two boys started screaming at each other. You’d seen this exact same scene before, Iwa begging him to stop and Tooru yelling at him for not being a good friend and support him. But this time it was different, Iwa was tired of this and didn’t know how to help his stubborn best friend so he exploded.

“ You are a stupid, selfish asshole ” were the words that left the boy’s mouth “ You’re so blinded by your goals that you don’t realize how bad the people who love you are suffering. All because of you and your stupid need for perfection. And I’m tired of this shit”

After that he left the gym and headed home, leaving you alone with Oikawa. The boy seemed to ignore your presence as well as his friend’s words and continued with his practice. He served over and over again, running out of breath with every hit. You didn’t really understand what the big deal was, why he would overwork himself or why Iwa was so mad at him.

“Hey, shittykawa ” you called, expecting him to ignore you. He turned around, volley ball in hand and nodded his head at you.

“What? You gonna yell at me too?”

“No, actually I just wanted to ask you what is going on. I’m still new to this whole manager thing but I’m pretty sure part of my work is to make sure you guys’ heads are working all right, and yours seems to be a bit fucked up ” it wasn’t until the words left your mouth that you realized what you had said. You looked up at him and waited for the argument to start. Again, you were surprised.

“I know, I can act like an idiot when I’m hating myself” his answer was meant to be sarcastic but his face said otherwise.

That day something changed between you two. You sat in the middle of the court and Oikawa opened up to you. He told you about his dreams and goals and how close he had gotten to achieving them, only to have them snatched away because of some mistake he had made. Kyōtani had told you about the match against this Karasuno team and how the lost had affected them, but you felt there was something he wasn’t telling you. Now you understood. Oikawa blamed himself for it. And that wasn’t all, he also talked about the amount of stress and pressure he had put himself under and how tired he was of giving it all only to be beaten by more talented people. You watched him cry and throw balls at the wall, screaming about some first year student who was a better setter than him even though he had worked ten times harder. He was mad, furious but also exhausted. You didn’t really know what to say so all you did was listen to him. Once he had calmed down he apologized for his behavior and walked you home.

That night you couldn’t sleep. You hadn’t expected to see that side of him, you hadn’t even considered that maybe that annoying egotistical self was just his shield, a mask. Ever since that night you started being nicer to him, asking him how his day was going, if he had drank enough water, etc. You were becoming friends.

It wasn’t long until Oikawa’s fans started rumors about the two of you being a couple, the team would make fun of him but he’d just brush it off and deny it. He was Oikawa Tooru, the great king, he couldn’t date someone like you. That’s the lies he’d tell himself but the truth was that he had found a good friend in you and was scared to loose that.

Late night talks in the gym became a regular, he’d always walk you home after practice (along with mad dog ‘cause he was your neighbor) and every now and then you’d have lunch with him. At first it felt nice, you liked being friends with Tooru and being able to help him out with his problems, letting down his walls and showing you his true self. It was close to the end of school that you started to feel weird around him. Suddenly the gym seemed a bit smaller than it used to be, the air felt a little dense too specially after watching Oikawa train intensely, sweat running down his neck. It’d get harder to swallow and talking to him without going blank was a challenge, something was wrong with you but you couldn’t tell what.

You didn’t tell mad dog about it, knowing he wouldn’t really have an answer to give you, so you kept it to yourself and waited for it to go away. It didn’t. You started to think about him on a regular basis, wondering what it’d feel like to hold his hand in yours or to cup his face and give him a soft pe- wait what, oh shit. Could it be? Could you be in love with Tooru?

One night, while he was walking you home after practice you decided to put your feelings to the test. Without really thinking much about it you got your hand out of your pocket and grabbed his hand. It felt cold, harsh, it wasn’t soft at all like you had imagined but you still liked holding it.

“ What are you doing?” you looked up at him with a boring expression on your face, his cheeks were... red?

“ I’m holding your hand” god you were stupid.

“Yeah, I can see that. Why?”

“ I don’t know it just... looked cold, I’ve heard you have cold hands and so I thought I’d help you out” it sounded like a better excuse in your head.

“ Oh, eh okay, thanks I guess?” He gave you a small smile and squeezed your hand, holding it tight until you reached your home.

After that incident you decided you were definitely in love with him. That same night Oikawa realized his feelings towards you were purely platonic, he loved having a friend outside of the volleyball team who could see him for who he really was and would not be afraid to judge him, you cared about him and weren’t afraid to show it. He remembered the words you’d said to him that night at the gym after his fight with Iwa.

“You’re lucky to have someone who cares so much about you, I can really tell he loves you. I know you probably can’t see it right now, but all those things he said he only did cause he’s worried you’re gonna get yourself hurt. He loves you”

He loves you.

The graduation day came and you all cried, laughed and hugged each other. You had planned to confess your feelings to Tooru once the ceremony was over, but before you could get a change it all went to shit. It’s like it all happened in slow motion, him grabbing your hands and pulling you into his arms, making you feel so warm inside.

“ Thank you for giving me a second chance, you’re such a good friend” Ouch. “ I need your advice once more, please?” He looked at you with his puppy eyes and you couldn’t say no. He took you away from the crowd of students and guided you through the halls, finally sitting on the steps of the stairs.

“Okay, so, what is it?” A part of you hoped this was a love confession, the other part knew that it wasn’t.

“ I’ve been thinking about what you said to me that night at the gym” he started “ The night I had a fight with Iwaizumi” his checks were turning red, he was playing with the rings on his fingers, and suddenly you understood. This was a love confession, except he wasn’t confessing to you.

“ You love him” Tooru looked up at you and smiled, you’d never seen him smile so bright.

“ I think I do, but I’m scared. He’s my best friend you know, there’s a lot at risk. I couldn’t bare to loose his friendship over some crush.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “But I’m sure this isn’t it, it’s not just a crush” Ou-“ I love him” -ch.

Next part

[anagentinwriting]

Lifeline - Part 17

Summary: (First Responders!AU) Moving to Los Angeles and living with your brother, Thor, was never part of your plan nor was being a 9-1-1 dispatcher, but plans change when you are faced with your own emergencies. In your case, it was leaving behind a relationship that wasn’t as perfect as it seemed. Will this be the fresh start you were hoping for or will your past find a way to catch up with you?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Odinson!Sister Reader

Word Count: 3800+

Warnings: Angst, violence, suspense, kidnapping

Lifeline Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Nat kept a watchful eye on Thor when he came back to the waiting room. He was twirling his phone in his hand when his eyes connected with hers; He shot her a hard glare before shaking his head. She grimaced, letting out a scoff and stood up a little straighter. She turned her attention back to assist Clint with asking routine questions to Bucky, Carol, and Val. Bucky’s eyes connected with hers, and he reached out, taking her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze before letting go. She nodded, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

Nat tried to focus on doing her job, but she was too close to this. You were one of her best friends, and she was scared for you in this situation. She wanted to believe what Thor was saying about Jig and Billy being the same person, but she needed proof or some sort of evidence, pointing them in that direction. Steve’s phone was the key to this, but she couldn’t go through it in case they needed it to use against him in court. She didn’t have a problem with lying, but if the defense found out what she did, she would be screwed and possibly lose her job. Billy deserved to be locked up for everything he did to you, and that cell phone would be another reason on a long list of reasons to lock him up. She wanted to protect you like Thor did, but it needed to be done right. 

“Natasha,” Thor shouted, forcing her head to snap in his direction. He was heading their way with Sam behind him. “Sam can confirm Billy and Jig are the same person. He met Jig once.” 

She narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest. “Is this true, or are you making it up?” 

“It’s true,” Sam nodded. “I met him one night at Happy’s. It was a quick meeting, but you don’t forget that white boy’s pretty face.”

Nat’s mouth dropped open, covering it with her hand in shock. Bucky was beside her, placing a reassuring hand on the small of her back. She looked over at him with tearful eyes as her mind drifted to the worst-case scenario. Bucky pulled her into a hug, and everything around her became white noise.

Billy got to you; he abducted you and almost killed Steve in the process. She squeezed her eyes shut, pulling Bucky closer. How did this happen? How did he even find you? How long has he been here? What was going to happen to you? All these unanswered questions flooded her mind until everything went silent. This was what she needed, evidence to find you and bring you home safe. Her eyes snapped open, pulling away from Bucky. She smirked at him, and his blue eyes narrowed at her. 

“Keep me updated on Steve, will you?” She whispered, putting her hands on his cheeks.

He nodded. “As long as you do the same with YN.” 

She kissed him, turning around and catching Thor’s eye. “Thor, let’s go.”

“Wait, what? Where?” Thor was looking between everyone as if asking if they had the answers.

“To find your sister, but we may have to ask for a little help.”

“But, I thought you weren’t technically on the case?”

“Small technicality. Nick will forgive me; I’m one of his favorites,” she winked, and Clint nodded in agreement. “Besides, I’m also a concerned friend of the victim, and I’m just following a possible lead. It could lead to something, or it might not.” Nat shrugged, looking over to Clint. “Cover for me?” 

“It’s what I do best.”

“Let’s go get this bastard,” Thor stated, giving Nat a forgiving nod. 

__________

The soft melody coming from the radio woke you up, but you didn’t move. A breeze hit your face, and the smell of the ocean hit your nose. A calm sensation came over you as you moved ever so slightly, feeling your hands bound, restricting your movement. Taking in another breath, a hint of familiar cologne came to your senses. You gulped, turning your head to what you hoped was a window. A sharp pain hit the side of your face, making you wince, causing your eyes to flicker open. The car sat parked near the ocean, and you could see the sun rising in the distance, cascading a soft glow over the landscape. You glanced at your hands, seeing a zip tie wrapped around them. You gulped, looking over to the driver’s seat to find your ex-husband wrapping his wrist. Your eyes widened as your mind flashed to him on the other side of the door, Steve laying motionless on the ground, the struggle in your condo, Cosmo attacking, and a punch to your face that knocked you out cold. 

“Good morning, honey. Did you sleep well?”

“What… what did you do?” You stammered, feeling tears start to form in your eyes. 

He smirked, taping the gauze on his wrist. “I think the better question is what did you do?” You narrowed your eyes, wincing as a sharp pain traveled alongside your face. Your hand shot to your face, touching the tender area between your eye and cheekbone. “I warned you what would happen if you left. People would get hurt, but you didn’t listen.” 

“Is he dead?”

“Who? Steve? Would it make a difference if he was?” He quirked an eyebrow as your bottom lip trembled, staring out the window at the ocean. “I wouldn’t worry about him anymore.”

“Why did you do that?” Your voice cracked as a sob escaped from your mouth. “He was a good man.”

“Steve was a great guy. I didn’t want to hurt him. I liked Steve. He was one helluva pool player, and we were friends,” he paused, your head snapping in his direction. “But, when he put his hands on you. I wanted to kill him.” Billy clenched his fists, shaking his head. “Steve doesn’t deserve you. He was never good enough for you. Hell, he was just using you to get over his dead wife.” He let out a breath, his dark brown eyes connected with yours, sending a shiver down your spine. “If you stayed home and didn’t leave me, we wouldn’t be in this situation right now. Steve wouldn’t be dead because of you.”

Your stomach dropped, with tears threatening to fall down your cheeks. You squeezed your eyes shut as the sharp pain radiating from your cheek was welcoming compared to what you were feeling inside. You swallowed down a sob, but your shaky breath didn’t dissipate. Your head clouded up, blocking out any other sound besides your racing heart. You slowly opened your eyes, trying to blink the tears away, but a few escaped down your cheeks and landed on your jeans. You stared at the wet droplets, unable to move, only being able to concentrate on your breathing. You sniffled, clearing your throat. “How long have you been watching me?”

“Does it matter?” He arched a brow at you. “I will give you some credit though, leaving that note saying you and Loki took an impromptu trip together. At first, I didn’t think much of it. I mean, you two are attached at the hip, so I knew you would be back in a few days, but you never did come home. Even after I saw Loki’s posts about being back home, but still no you. ” He leaned back in his seat, rubbing a hand over his mouth. 

“The most frustrating part of all was that you never returned my calls, which led me straight to Loki, and he told me you were staying with him for a few more days. I thought, ‘Alright. I get it. You want some time.’” He sighed, shaking his head. “After a few more days of no new texts and no returned phone calls. I decided to sneak into Loki’s and quickly realized you weren’t staying there. In fact, it looked like you were never there. Then I proceeded to go to your work, which I now realized I should’ve done to begin with because I discovered you quit.” He paused, hitting the steering with your palm, making you jump in your seat. 

“It was embarrassing to find out your wife left you in front of her co-workers.” He clenched his jaw, staring daggers at you. “This led to me tracking your phone, but it never did tell me where you were.” He smirked. “I am almost positive it involved an anti-tracker app. Smart play.” He nodded. “Nice to know you learned a few things from me during our time together, but I’m surprised you didn’t think I wouldn’t be able to find you?”

“Who's to say I didn’t,” you countered, wiping the tears from your cheeks. 

He cackled in the seat next to you, shaking his head, and in one quick motion grabbed your jaw and forced you to look at him. You tried to jerk away, but he tightened his hold. All the mischief in his eyes was gone, replaced with his harsh gaze. He clenched his jaw, making you gulp and stare into the depths of his emotionless eyes. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you? Running off to your big brother, thinking he would protect you. It’s cute really, but deep down, he didn't do his job the first time, let alone this time. He didn’t protect you. He didn’t keep you safe. It’s comical, just how easy it was to get you back.” He scoffed, licking his lips. “And Loki’s all the same. They’re both egoistic, self-absorbed, and out for themselves. It’s poetic, how you were always there for them, but they were never there for you like I was.” He reached over and dragged his fingers against your cheek. You clenched your jaw, pulling away from his touch.

“What do you want from me?” You mumbled, observing him from the corner of your eye. 

He sighed, dropping his hand. “Isn’t it obvious? I want you to come home where it is safe. Come home to someone who actually cares about you. My god, YN, you have no idea how much I have missed you and….and I’m sorry,” he confessed as his voice cracked. Your head snapped in his direction to see him running a hand through his hair. “I was an asshole for how I treated you, and I can’t believe I became that person.” His gaze caught yours, noticing his lips trembling. “I told you I would change, but I didn’t, and I don’t know why.” He paused, clearing his throat. “I want to change, but I don’t think I can do it without you. I need you. You have always believed in me more than I believed in myself. I don’t want to lose what we have together. Please come home to me. I forgive you for running. I want to start over, start fresh, start that family you always wanted. Anything; I will do anything,” he begged with tears on the verge of falling. 

You swallowed, staring wide-eyed at him, not knowing what to say. Billy has always been a confident talker, telling you what you wanted to hear and making all the right promises.  He could coax you into coming back every time you left him with his caring apologetic words. You believed you could trust him time and time again. He could persuade you into getting what he wanted, not what you wanted. 

You rubbed your lips together, knowing what you should say or at least what he wanted you to say. But, you didn’t need him anymore, like he needed you. You moved on, and in this moment, he couldn’t control you anymore. “I want to start a family, Billy.” His shoulders sank in relief as a smile crossed his features. “But, I don’t want it with you. I don’t want anything to do with you. Our relationship is a repeating pattern that causes both of us pain. I can’t do this with you anymore,” you breathed, your eyes flickering to his; they changed from sincere and honest to dark and destructive in a matter of seconds. 

He brought his hand down his face, shaking his head. “You don’t get to say when this is over. I do.” He let out a deep breath and slapped you across the face. You yelped, sending a shooting pain down your same cheek, bringing tears to the corner of your eye. You leaned away from him, reaching for the door handle, and tried to push it open, but he grabbed a hold of you and held a knife to your throat. 

 “STOP MOVING,” he grunted through clenched teeth. You quit squirming and stared at the blade against your throat. “It didn’t have to come to this. ” He clenched his jaw, grabbing the passenger seat belt and strapped you in. He leaned forward, his breath fanning against your ear as he whispered, “I have a plan, but unlike yours, it will work.” 

____________

Thor and Nat walked through the doors of your dispatch center. Thor’s eyes scanned the many individuals typing away at their screens and talking into their headpieces. It was a different scene than what he was used to. It felt calmer and less hectic, but on the other end of the calls, he could only imagine what people were going through.

Bruce made eye contact with them, holding up his pointer finger as he helped one of the dispatchers at their desk.  

“Bruce, busy man,” Thor chuckled, and Nat hummed in agreement.

“Thor, Nat, hi. Any news? Have the police found anything?” Bruce asked, walking over to them.

“Don’t get me started on the police. At YN house, they were walking around finding clues and placing their little yellow numbers by them, and taking pictures. Like, what is that going to do? They should be out looking for her since I already told them who abducted her, but no one believed me.” Thor shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Calm down, big guy, it’s called procedure, and we were finding evidence.” Nat patted him on the shoulder before turning to Bruce. “Anyways, we came to ask for a favor, and we think you could help us with it.”

“Name it,” Bruce nodded, putting his hands in his pockets. 

“We need to track this number, but the fastest way without a warrant is to go through dispatch, or so I heard,” Nat hinted, raising her eyebrows.

“What is it? Landline or cell phone?”

“Cell phone.”

“Cell phones are trickier since we don’t get an automatic address like we do with landlines. Our system has to digitally request the phone’s location from the cellular network. I will have to put in a manual request, which won’t be a problem, it will just take some time,” Bruce stated, going over to one of the computers. “What’s the number?” Thor read the number off his phone as Bruce typed it in and quickly filled in the necessary information.

___________

Billy pulled into a gas station and parked the car behind it. He reached behind your seat, hearing him shuffle around and come forward with a scissor, wet nap, and a baseball cap. He cupped your face in his hands, using the wet-nap to wipe your face. You squeezed your eyes shut, ignoring the pain on your cheek. “There’s my girl, all cleaned up.” He lifted your head with his finger and tilted it in all directions. He grabbed ahold of your bound hands, cutting the zip tie from your wrists. “Put this hat on, and just know, if you run, you don’t want to know what I will do.” 

You nodded, biting the inside of your cheek. He squeezed your hands before getting out of the car and coming around the front to get you. He opened the door, instantly putting his arm around your shoulder, leaning into you. You tensed up, smelling the all-to-familiar cologne that sent your nerves firing in warning. It was a cologne you loved, having picked out for him when you first started dating, but now it filled your head with many unpleasant memories. 

“Loosen up, hon, you can trust me,” he whispered in your ear, hitting the bill of your hat, making you readjust it. 

You gave him a hard nod, forcing a tight smile. He let go of you as someone was walking out, holding the door for the two of you. You looked the man straight in the face, hoping he would take a look at you and help in some way, but Billy mumbled a quick thanks and took your hand. You glanced at the guy behind the register, but he stared down at his phone while Billy dragged you to the drink coolers. 

“What do you want?” 

“Can I run to the bathroom? Can’t pick anything on a full bladder,” you smirked, squeezing his hand.

“Of course, make it quick,” he nodded, letting go of your hand.

You walked back up the aisle and down another, glancing at the man behind the counter, who was still staring down at his phone. Keeping a watchful eye on Billy, you snatched a set of permanent markers from the shelf and hid them in the front of your pants and under your shirt. You took one last peek over your shoulder to see Billy’s eyes following you and opened the door to the ladies restroom.

You locked the door and leaned against it, taking in your surroundings, but there was nothing that could help you. It was a single stall bathroom with no windows. How come the only bathrooms that ever seemed to have windows were in the movies. You sighed, rubbing your forehead. There weren’t many options left: leave a note and hope someone sees it and gets help. It felt silly, but what did it hurt? You pulled the markers from the front of your pants and grabbed a brown paper towel, scribbling out a message and placing it by the sink along with the markers. 

Gripping the edge of the bathroom counter, you let out a deep breath, staring down into the semi-dirty sink. You removed your hat, running your hand through your hair, and looked up at your reflection in the mirror. It was like you were right back to where you started, staring at the fragile woman you thought you left behind. The color around your right eye was changing to a dark black and blue, your cheek was puffy, and there was a small cut on your lip. 

“You can get through this,” you reassured yourself, splashing cold water on your face. “Someone is looking for you.” Splash. “Someone will find you.” Splash. “Steve isn’t dead because of you.” Splash. 

You stared at the water flowing out of the faucet as images of Steve started filling your mind. His signature smirk, his chest-grabbing laugh, his caring yet determined personality, and how he... Tears began forming in the corner of your eyes, blurring your vision. You squeezed them shut, sniffling, before opening your eyes to your reflection. “No crying; not yet at least; first, you need to make it out.” You cleared your throat, promising yourself with a nod. You slipped the hat back on and opened the door, jumping in surprise to find Billy waiting there.

“Grabbed your favorites,” he grinned, holding them up. You forced a smile, following him to the register. Billy placed the drinks, snacks, and a few wound cleaning supplies on the counter. You smirked, remembering Cosmo’s rescue efforts. The front door jingled, pulling your attention to a mother and her young daughter walking in.

“Okay, Monica, run to the bathroom, and I’ll grab us some snacks.” You let out a small sigh of relief, smirking at them going their separate ways. 

“We should start a family once we settle into our new home,” he whispered into your ear with a smirk on his lips.

“New home?” You questioned, narrowing your eyes at him.

“It’s part of my plan.” He wiggled his eyebrows, paying the man with cash. “You always wanted a family; why not start now.” He shrugged, leaning into you. He smiled at the clerk, grabbing the bag and holding out his other hand to you. You took it, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. 

Billy dragged you back out to the car and let go of your hand. He opened the back door while you headed for the passenger side door. “Wait, don’t get in; we’re switching cars. He should be here any minute.”

“Why?”

“I’m sure the police already have the make and model of this car through surveillance video or the license plate number from the note you left in the ladies room.”

“What note?”

“Don’t play stupid. I’m not an idiot, besides why else would you be smirking at a mother and daughter,” he sneered while a car pulled up beside them. “Speak of the devil, right on time.”

A Rolls Royce Wraith pulled up, forcing you to roll your eyes. This was his getaway car, more than a quarter of a million-dollar car, and he expected to get away with you. It was the same car he owned in New York, but this one had updated California license plates. A bald man got out of the driver's side, coming over to you and Billy. It was hard not to be creeped out by him, with a milky left eye and a scar underneath it. 

Billy’s phone buzzed once more in his hand. He looked down at it, letting out a quiet snicker. He read off the abduction alert, including your name, what you looked like, and what you were wearing last. “Turns out you got someone looking for you after all. It’s a shame they aren’t going to find you.”

You gulped, noticing the bald man smirking. “As requested, your new phone--” he handed Billy a flip phone while Billy handed him his smartphone “--with a few contacts that you can trust and help you if it’s necessary.  And everything you requested is in the back seat, but knowing you, Billy, you two have already disappeared.”  

Your breathing quickened at his words, your eyes darting between the two men shaking hands. Billy had the perfect plan, and you were stepping right into it. You were going to disappear, become a ghost, and no one was going to be able to find you. Your defeated eyes caught Billy’s, not missing the amusement dancing in his. You bit your lip, staring into the distance, hoping the daughter saw your note and called the police. But it dawned on you that help wasn’t coming, which left you with two options: start over and try to be happy with him, or adapt and overcome. 

“Thank you for your help, Agent Orange. I’ll owe you one.”  Orange nodded at Billy, walking over to the previous car before getting in and driving away. “Well, get in, honey. It’s time to go on our road trip.”

___________

AN: Thanks for reading Part 17! This doesn't sound like it will be a fun road trip, and from the looks of it, Billy seems to be one step ahead of her with every move she makes. How is she gonna out think him? If you haven't noticed already, Billy is a real piece of work, and I'm hoping he came off as a psychopath in this part. If not I tried my best, it's hard to tap into a dark mindset like that! Haha! I will say though, Ben Barnes, who plays Billy Russo, is an attractive man, but I will admit his brown eyes can get scary dark sometimes. Like when he's mad, you can just see it in his eyes, so I tried to play off that. And it seems like he has a buddy helping him, Agent Orange, I wonder how they know each other? Also, we kind of have a better understanding where Nat's head was at at the end of the last part. She was worried about her friend and wanted everything to be done right, and put Billy away for good. And what do you think of her and Thor teaming up to find her? And can't forget that little assist from Bruce, but will they be able to find her before she disappears forever or will something worse happen along the way? Is Steve gonna pull through? And man, I sure hope Cosmo is doing okay! Until next week, thanks again!

[yandere-ac]

Can I request parental Yandere! Tom with a young Y / N? Y/N has been on the island for a long time, and Tom is like their father figure. I'd like to see a scenario where Y / N meets Redd and due to their innocent and naive nature, wants to befriend him, meeting at night time just because Redd says it's better this way, probably not to alert Tom that he is there.I love how you write! Sorry for my bad English.

Yandere Parental Tom Nook X Child Reader

Little one

Tom had always considered himself good with children. It might have been because of all the late nights he spent up with Sable, taking care of Mable back when she was still very small. Even as a child, Tom swore to protect and help the ones who could not defend them self’s. It was a trait that, even though as he grew up became less and less prominent, was still a core instinct that he had. Sure, he’s the first to admit that he wasn’t exactly the most charming guy back in the day. Many seeing him as intimidating and mean. And yeah, Tom could see how people could have gotten that impression. Back then, he’d been so angry and lost. He was angry at the world. Angry at himself. Angry at...him...those where the days when he was hellbent on not letting anyone ever take advantage of him ever again. He’d locked up his heart and pushed everyone he loved away. But then...something quite peculiar happened.

It had been late at night. Tom was walking alone on the sidewalk, only the dim light of the tall streetlights illuminating his path. With hands in his pockets he picked up his pace. He wanted to get out of the city as quickly as possible. He had been spending some time with family and was currently going home. But to get to his flight he had to walk through the big city. Tom didn’t like the city, it brought back bad memories. He was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard the sounds of a loud crash coming from one of the alleyways nearby. What was that? Was someone hurt? Tom knew he shouldn’t...it would be dangerous and stupid. But he had to check to make sure nothing sketchy was going on. Looking back at it now. Tom was so happy, overjoyed that he decided to investigate. Approaching the alleyway he could see the silhouettes of two small creatures. And as he got closer he realised what the silhouettes were. They were two children, tanukis, looking no older than five cowering together, clutching onto each other like there was no tomorrow. They looked up at him, shaking from either the cold weather or because they were scared. Probably a mixture of the two. Tom made sure to stay completely still as he tried not to scare the two boys.

"Hello? Are you okay? Why on earth are you two out here alone?" He asked as he slowly crouched down so that he would be on the same level as the kids, still keeping his distance. Tom however did not get a response. Letting out a small sigh he tried to continue. "Can I at least get your names?" He said, making sure to keep his voice gentle. "We’re not supposed to talk to strangers mister..." one of the two said, clinging onto the other tighter. "Okay then. Hello there. My name is Tom Nook. Who are you?" Tom tried again. At this point the other one has stopped shaking and looked at Tom with more curiosity than fear. "We don’t have names mister." Tom felt his eyebrows furrow. These poor kids. "Why don’t you two come with me? It’s about to start raining and I don’t want you catching a cold." As he said this he extended his hand to the two. And carefully, the first one reached out his tiny paw to grab it. The other one was much more hesitant about the whole thing but after a quick glance at the first, he soon grabbed Toms hand. Tom led the two away to a hotel nearby where he bought a room.

That was the first significant change that led Tom to the road to redemption and recovery. After calling the police and telling them about the situation they had come to investigate with a social worker. After they had intervened and the social worker talked to the two and did confirm that the two children had no home or guardians. And even though it had only been maybe two days with the boys, Tom had grown very attached to them. And so, he offered to adopt the two. And after settling the whole thing in court, Tom was able to happily bring two small tanukis home. Of course the final decision was left up to the kids. But lucky for Tom, they too had grown attached to him and agreed to the adoption. Tom gave them the names Timothy and Thomas, Timmy and Tommy for short. And rest assured, the boys were gonna have a good life, Tom swore of it. But that, like stated before, was only the beginning.

A year later, was the second significant change that Tom went through. That year, a new villager moved in to his town. A boy with Brown hair and a red shirt. And what a mess he was. After having bought a house from Tom, he didn’t have close to the amount of bells that he needed to pay off the house loan. In fact, he only had 1000 bells in his pockets. Seeing this was almost humorous to Tom. How can you move into a new home WITHOUT bringing more than at least 30 000 bells. And yet. Something about the boy. It almost reminded him of how he used to be back when he first moved to the city. Now, he had enough common sense to bring with him more than just a few bells. But he’d still make PLENTY of screw ups and stupid decisions. And in a way, he’d wished that he had a person to help him during that time. Someone to be kind enough to extend their hand and give him assistance. Maybe if someone had, things would have turned out differently. Who know what could happen to this villager, if he’s stupid enough to not bring enough currency, then he’d sure be stupid enough to be tricked or manipulated. Tom couldn’t knowingly let that happen, especially if he could prevent it.

And so. Tom offered him a job at Nooks cranny. Just to teach him some responsibility and give him a chance to pay off his loans. But even after he paid them off, he still took some time to visit Tom every once and again. He brought a sort of warmth and life to the town. He interacted with all the other villagers and made sure to fix it up a little as well. Although very silent and kind of strange, Tom grew a certain fondness of the boy. But ultimately, it didn’t matter what he though of him. Because one day, he never showed up. Tom just assumed that he had been sick or just tired. But after a week and not a sound from him, people started to get worried. They searched his house but he wasn’t there. And that weeks turned into months, which turned into years. Tom still worried what had happened to him. But he tried not to think about it. The thought unnerved him. He couldn’t have moved out because his house still remained in the village. But, ultimately. It really didn’t matter. He was gone, and Tom had to move on.

That was years ago. During that time, human after human moved into the town. And they were all just as incompetent. Tom had started to wonder if it was a human thing. But Isabelle had been quick to insist that he help them. And he did. He always tried to teach them how to survive and make money. All while giving them a roof over their heads. He couldn’t just let them wander around without a home, they had to live somewhere. He didn’t set any dates as to when their debts had to be paid either. They could pay him off whenever they wanted. He didn’t want to cause them any stress. And just like always, he got attached to the humans, and just like always, they all eventually left him with no explanation. He didn’t understand why or how. But it was simply just how it went. But no matter how many times it happened, he never got used to it. It was always so hard to accept the fact that the human that was usually eagerly running around had left them. Had left HIM. He felt oddly protective over them all, they were like his children, his small, gullible, human children. So when he met you, that was when his instincts really went into overdrive.

He remembered it clear as day. Timmy and Tommy had ran up to him with the three residents behind him. Immediately he noticed something was odd about one of them. One of them was a human, more than that, the human looked much shorter than any other human he’d ever met. And he’s met a lot of humans in his life, a privilege which very few get. At first he thought the human, you, was just short. But as soon as he heard you speak it became clear to him. You weren’t just short, you were much younger than any of the humans he’d ever seen before. You were a child. Tom started to wonder why someone as young as you was all the way out here. Were your parents gonna come on a later plane? No, no that couldn’t be it. There where no other planes booked to the island. Maybe you were a child to one of the other residents? Interspecies adoption has recently been legalised so that could be it. Yes. That’s probably it. But that theory popped once he gave out the tents and you asked for your very own. Wouldn’t you be sleeping with your guardian? For a moment Tom panicked. What if you were just a very small human and he has misunderstood your age. So he asked you. And to his relief and confusion you answered with "ten". Didn’t you have parents? Why were you out here alone, he needed to know if he should contact somebody. So while everyone else went about looking for a place to put their tents, Tom took you aside to ask you a couple of questions.

As it turns out, you had come here completely alone. Without parents or anything. You had handed him a letter from your mother, she was the one that sent you here with the little bells she had left, because she couldn’t take care of you and hoped that an adult on the island could handle you. When Tom read the letter he felt conflicted, he felt bad for you and your mother but he also thought the action of sending away your child to a deserted island was pretty irresponsible. But whatever he thought of the situation didn’t matter, because you were here and he couldn’t exactly kick you off or anything. He was sure that you would manage life here on the island, there was lots of things to do and food was also easy to come by. So, he’d have to make sure you were comfortable here on the island. He had given you your own tent and even payed the loans that came with it.

And you were the tipping point, you were the thing that turned his redemption into something much, much more twisted.

It had started small, with him feeling a kind of protectiveness over you. He figured it was since you were both a human and a kid. This feeling, it was much stronger than any of the instincts he felt about his previous humans, it was about as strong as how he felt for Timmy and Tommy. He just wanted to scoop you up and carry you away from all your troubles. He helped you fix up your tent and when you asked if you could upgrade it, he’d offer to pay for those house depts as well. But you had refused, saying that you wanted to pay for it yourself. It seems your mother had taught you plenty about responsibility and how to take care of yourself, which came a bit as a shock for Tom. Most of not all of his previous humans had been pretty clueless about things like this, so to see a child being more mature than them was almost a bit funny. But he knew deep down that your maturity probably stemmed from having to take care of yourself without any help. And there was nothing funny about that. Surprisingly, you handled your situation very well, you picked up weeds, planted trees, fished and caught bugs which you sold to Timmy and Tommy. All to pay for said loans. And when Tom told you about his plan to get K.K. Slider to perform at the island, you put your incredible work ethic to the max. Everyday, he could see you running around the island, planting flowers and placing furniture. It came out very good considering your age and soon enough the island got a three star rating. It baffled Tom beyond belief that you were able to do all of this. Especially at your young age. He made sure to give you credit for all the good you contributed and even made sure you got the front seat when the concert began.

And that brings us to today. You had been running around the island, collecting sea shells and fruit. Anytime you ran past one of your fellow villagers you made sure to greet them and talk with them for a while. And when you did so, one of them told you about seeing a shady boat by the hidden beach. The hidden beach. You liked going there, it was a nice place where you could just relax, far away from everyone else. So hearing that there was some boat there, it’s sparked your curiosity to say the least. Where did it come from? Who was at the boat? Why were they here? You just had to go see!

So that’s what you did. As you made your way to the beach you were stopped by none other than Tom Nook himself. He was outside of the plaza with Timmy and Tommy when the boys had their break. He gave you a smile as you stopped and turned to him. "Ah if it isn’t Y/N! Why don’t you come and join me, Timmy and Tommy to our picnic. We were just about to head there." He asked, Timmy and Tommy looking at you with hopeful eyes. "Yeah Y/N! Will you? Will you?" You had to stop to think before making your decision. "Sorry but I can’t. I’ve gotta go do something!" You said. "Alright then, but if you change your mind you know where to find us." Tom said as he walked away with the two boys. You ran all the way to the secret beach and sure enough, there was a boat stationed right there on the beach. As you made your way to it, you started to feel a little hesitant about going in. What if this person was dangerous? But you’ve already come this far, so you might as well try. And so, you took a deep breath, and opened the curtains to go inside.

Dark, that was the main word that popped into your mind as you walked down the metal stairs that descended into the boats cabin. As you reached the bottom and looked around the room a strange sort of dread filled your stomach. The room was darkly lit, only a select few lights illuminating what seemed to be paintings and statues that stood on small wooden podiums. Your curiosity started bubbling as you approached the paintings. You silently admired the art, but your moment of calm was soon ended when you heard a loud creak come from the far right side of the boat. Turning around swiftly you saw the source of sound. It was a big metal door, there was an orange fox exiting the door when he suddenly froze up. His eyes met yours, and for a moment the two of you just stared at each other. As he eyes you up and down you could only look at him with big wondering eyes. You’ve never met a fox in real life before, so this was certainly an experience. The silence finally broke when he spoke up.

"Umm...Hello and welcome aboard Jolly Redds treasure trawler!" There was a bit of uncertainty in his voice, like he wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was real. "Hello mister! I’m Y/N, what’s your name?" You asked him, a smile making its way onto your face. "The names Jolly Redd, as the name of my boat would imply." As he introduced himself to you he gave you a mischievous smirk. He seemed to drop any uncertainty and suspicion as he looked at you. "Say, were you checking out my paintings just now?" He asked you while walking closer. "Oh yes! I think they look really beautiful!" You answered enthusiastically, bouncing up and down slightly as you clasped your small hands together. "Ohoho, why thank you. I made them myself you see." Once Redd told you this, you let out a gasp of both surprise and delight. "Wow! For real? I have to tell Mr. Nook and aunt Isabelle about this!" All of the previous pride and confidence that Redd felt disappeared the moment you mentioned "Mr. Nook". He couldn’t let Tom find out he was here. Especially when he’s talking to a human child. Redd knows about Toms protective nature when it comes to humans and children, so the thought of what he might do if he found him near a HUMAN CHILD, it’s scared him. "A-ah! Let’s NOT tell Mr. Nook or Aunt Isabelle. I’m actually a uhh..." think Redd, think! "...secret artist! Yeah! A secret artist! We don’t like to be seen or talked about. So could you do me a favour and not tell anyone about me kid?" Redd said. You however, not knowing he was bluffing, let out yet another gasp and nodded your head vigorously. "Of course mister! I’ll never tell anyone I promise!" Redd let out a laugh as he saw your enthusiasm. He liked you, he wasn’t usually fond of children. But you, something about you was different. You were cute but not to the point of being annoying. Maybe he’d stay here for a little while.

"I like you kid, you’ve got good taste. Us art lovers gotta stick together ya’know. So how about this, can you meet me here again tomorrow at night? It’s a lot easier for me that time." The question made you unsure. You’ve been told not to trust strangers, but he seemed so nice. He seemed trustworthy enough. You didn’t see any reason why you wouldn’t be able to trust him. "Okay, I’ll do it."

And that was that. Every night you would sneak out of your house and visit Redd. He would show you his paintings and such, he’d even let you paint on a separate paper while he was doing his work on his forgeries. The only drawback of this was just how tired you got later during the day. It was starting to get more and more apparent to everyone else on the island, especially to Tom. He had asked you time and time again if you had trouble sleeping, but every time he’d bring it up you would get really quiet and assure him it was nothing. One time when he was out for a stroll he found you, sleeping on a bed of flowers. He picked you up and carried you to your house to put you to bed. As he tucked you into bed he let out a worried sigh, what was going on with you? But right as he walked out he caught a glimpse of something that made him stop dead in his tracks. He quickly rushed to the little desk you had in your room and looked at what laid upon it, it was a drawing. A drawing of you and an orange fox. The drawing was labelled "Me and Redd!" with green crayon. He knew something was up. But he hadn’t expected it to be this bad.

It was late at night and you were on your way to Redds boat. Unbeknownst to you, you had someone following you. As you skipped down to the secret beach you called out for Redd. And a few seconds later, Redd came out of the boat and greeted you with a hug. "Hello there my little artist. Are you ready to have some fun?" He asked as he grabbed your hand and pulled you inside. "Yes! I’m ready!" You two sat down and started to paint. You told him about everything that was happening on the island, letting out a tired yawn every once in a while. As you blabbered away Redd was in deep thought, he knew he couldn’t stay here for much longer. Every day that he was here was another day that Tom could find him, and he sure as hell didn’t want that to happen. But he didn’t want to leave you, your kindness and excitement brought him some kind of joy when he would usually be completely alone. He needed a distraction other than painting and sculpturing, something that would drown out all of the persistent thoughts of hate that he felt each day. But he couldn’t just take you...could he?

"Hey, cousin? Do you like your life here?" He said out of nowhere, interrupting your ramblings. "Huh? Yeah of course. I’ve got friends and family that cares for me. I love it here." Damn it. How would he convince you if you had that attitude. "Aha...but doesn’t it get boring? You know, doing the same thing every day? When was the last time you had some excitement in your life!" Redd put down his brush and turned to you, facing you completely. "I...well..." you truly didn’t have an answer to that, sure island living wasn’t exactly the most heart pounding life but it wasn’t really supposed to be. It was supposed to be a relaxing life, without any stress or worries. "Wouldn’t you rather just get out there on the sea? With me! We could be a team! A crew! I could be the captain and you could be my second mate. Think about it Y/N!" Redd got more and more intense as he tried to convince you, but your face was far from happy or excited. It was filled with uncertainty and discomfort. "N-No I think I’ll pass. I would much rather just stay here." The fox’s expression turned from a smile into an annoyed frown. "If you don’t come with me you’ll never see me again! Do you want that Y/N?! Do you want to learn how to paint on your own? Do you want to loose out on the best teacher and friend you could’ve ever gotten?!" You didn’t give him a response, slowly backing away from him, trying to get to the stairs. But Redd saw what you were doing. "Oh no you don’t!" He rushed towards you and picked you up rather violently, you started to thrash and scream in his grasp, trying everything to get out. But suddenly you were dropped onto the floor. As you looked up in horror you saw Tom Nook hunching over you. He had his claws out and were growling at Redd. As he looked down at you his eyes softened and he motioned for you to run out, you got the message clear and ran. You ran out, sprinting for dear life in order to get to a hiding spot. Your house!

It had been about 10 minutes since you ran from the boat. You were hiding under your bed, trying to calm yourself down as the tears dropped down your face. You could feel your heart stop as you heard the door to your house opening. But you felt a huge wave of relief wash over you when you heard Toms voice call out for you. "Y/N? Where are you? It’s okay. He’s gone." You rushed out from your bed and ran downstairs to the living room. As you saw Tom stand by the end of the stairs you practically threw yourself onto him. "TOM!" Wrapping your arms around him, you started sobbing. You thought something had happened to him. You could barely form any words as tears got caught in your throat, this has been a stressful night to say the least.

"Shh shh...it’s okay...I’ve got you. I’ve got you. He can’t hurt you now, I promise." You cried onto his shoulder while he comforted you. "Do you feel comfortable sleeping alone or would you like to sleep with me, Timmy and Tommy?" You nodded your head as you climbed onto him. He only let out a small sigh as he carried you away to his house. What a mess. He wished he’d have known sooner, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened. But no matter, what was done was done. He could only focus on the future.

And he swore to protect you, no matter what he had to do.

[awesome-theater-nerd]

Princess

Heyyy, people! So, this was my attempt on writting my version of the headcanon of Race being Trans (which is one of my favorites) maybe some things are wrong, but like i said, this was my first attempt. Well, hope you guys like it! (Also yeah, this is basically Ralbert :P) 

Word count: 830

Warnings: Transphobia, angst, and violence. (probably some swearing)

:)

Antonio Higgins was a very peculiar person for his time. Having joined the newsies as a child, he never had contact with his mother or father. So he was always surrounded by loud, lively, and very... handsome boys. Now, if there's one thing that has always bothered little Antonio, it was his body. He could try to hide it, but the swell in his chest would always be there. At the age of 7, he plucked up the courage to cut his long, curly blond hair. Albert was the one who most supported the boy. He and Albert had been best friends since the kid was called Racetrack, which was a long time. Albert swore to Race that he would protect him no matter what, and he kept his promise. The problem was that many people like the Delanceys teased Race that his body was different from theirs. He was a boy, and always has been! But his body got in the way of his daily life. 

And this brings us to the present day: another day of sales, another day having to go through the Delanceys.

Walking up the line, Race was trying to maintain his funny posture, his cigar dangling from his lips and a mischievous smile painted on his freckled face. "How's it goin', Weasel?" The older man just glanced at him tiredly. “At least call me mister.” “Well, I’ll call you sweetheart if you’d spot me fifty papes, huh?” “Drop the cash, and move it along!” “Oh, well, whatever happens to romance?” Giggling a bit, the boy goes get his papes, unfortunately having to talk with Morris and Oscar Delancey, the biggest jerks in the whole New York. “Fifty to the racer.” “What, do you mean the girly?” Morris cracked a laugh pointing to Race's chest. "I'm a boy, Morris." “You can't ignore those, can you? Everyone knows the truth, princess.” Moving his arms to cover his chest, Race's face was burning in a deep red. “Stop. Calling. Me. That!” “Oh, so princess now got mad?” “Just give me my papers, dumbass.” Race said, adjusting his cigar on his mouth angrily. “Come get them then!” Morris ran fast, Race following him not far behind. He was pretty sure that Oscar was behind him too, which was no good. He kept running until Morris brought him to an alley, away from anywhere he knew. “Now we can fight, princess. You'll never be a man, little girl.” “I told you to stop!” Race trow a punch into Morris's face, hitting him in the jaw. Now, He was screwed. "Oh... you'll regret ever doing that princess!" Oscar punched race in the back, making the boy fall to the ground. More punches and kicks were thrown at him, but he couldn't do anything but lay there, hopeless. His nose was bleeding, there were cuts in his face, and probably a broken rib. Oscar brought a hand into the boy’s shirt, and with his brother’s help, they ripped it, only to reveal the boy’s chest covered by bandages. That was the scariest moment in Antonio's life. What would they do to him? Before anything could be done, someone took the brothers off of him. Race’s vision was blurry, his head was spinning (bad moment to do a reference? Yes. AHAHHA) and his body was exposed to the cold wind of New York City. “Race? Oh god, Race are you ok?!” “A-Albert…?” The other Said softly, his high-pitched voice rough. “Yes, it's me. We're going home ok? Stay strong, bud.” Worry was sowed in the redhead's tone. Of course, He was scared. What if Race wasn't going to be alright? Albert couldn't have another person He loved dying... no, not again. “Alby, I-I need to tell you something...” Race's voice was slowly fading away. He didn't care about the brothers, or what'll happen to them. He only cared about Albert there with him. “You can tell me once you're safe, Just rest now” His eyes closed, and He fell into a deep sleep. Once He woke up, He noticed He was in his bed in the Lodging House, with Albert sitting right next to him. “Alby? What happened?" “The brothers....they were....assaulting you. Until the newsies and I found you and nocked them out.” "Oh..." “Race, before you fell asleep, you said you wanted to tell me something. What was it? “Albert, I-I’m in love with you!” Antonio finally Said it, a sigh of relief escaping his mouth. Looking anxiously at Albert, waiting for an answer, he sadly smiled. "I know you don’t love me back so I’ll just—" “Antonio Higgins, I’ve been in love with you since we were kids” “Wait? You don’t even bother about my... body?” “You're perfect in any way, body or life, Ant.” So leans closer to Race, putting his lips on the others. The kiss was full of emotion, happiness, love, passion... And for Albert, Race wasn't a princess. No, he was a handsome and kind prince.

[jaminjims]

heartbeat || p.jm

@jiminiestanposts requested: Hiii, could I request a top male reader x bottom jimin please?? Where the reader likes jimin but jimin doesn’t like him back. After a few months, though, jimin gets jealous when the reader and another member seem close, and this is when he realises that he loves the reader. Angst at the beginning, but fluffy at the end when reader and jimin get together😊 Thank youuuuuu!! 💜💜💜

a/n: ahh its been awhile hasn’t it? over the past few months sooo much has changed for me! i’m getting into the colleges i applied to (hallelujah) and i’m almost done with the college craziness (hopefully)! i’m so sorry this is posted so late, but my computer broke a few months ago and is still broken, so i had to write this using my phone (which was icky) but i hope my writing skills aren’t too rusty. thank you so so so much to the lovely jiminiestanposts for requesting and i hope this is what you were looking for bub! (also, i hope everyone has had a good holiday and is staying healthy!) 💖💖

pairing: jimin x male danceinstructor!reader

genre: angsty at the beginning, christmas fluff at the end <3

words: 2.1k

warnings: unrequited love (at the beginning), sadness, jealousy

~**~

Your hands were numb as you walked into the BigHit building. This winter has been grueling and even you can admit to being a baby when it comes to the cold.

You shrugged off your jacket and pulled off your hat once you entered one of the many dance practice rooms that BigHit had within its walls. Setting up the sound system was almost second nature as you were rounding the three month mark of being one of BigHit’s dance instructors. You technically weren’t supposed to be promoted as early as you were (you had been working as a back-up dancer for only a year before being promoted) but one of the instructors was on leave because his wife gave birth, and it quickly became apparent that the dance staff needed another set of hands for teaching.

But the other dance instructors didn’t look down on you for being promoted out of necessity, as did any of the other background dancers. They agreed that out of all of them, you were one of the most talented because of the sheer amount of power you held over your body and the dominance that you portrayed when you were dancing. Because of the talent you held, you were assigned to work with BTS themselves.

Today however you were working with the trainee’s because Miyoung, a fellow instructor, got sick with the flu and needed someone to take over. You were glad to help, but most of the trainee’s weren’t glad that you were teaching. You’ve been told that the way you taught was really hardcore and labor intensive, especially to people who don’t train with you often, but you just wanted them to be the best they could be.

The trainee’s didn’t see it that way.

So when the time came when you announced that practice was over, all of the younglings dropped to the ground and heaved out groans of relief. You could’ve sworn some even fall asleep.

It was then that Jimin decided to peak his head into the door of the practice room and smile at the scene. The trainee’s all scrambled to their feet to greet him but he just smiled and told them to rest. They made their way out of the room, thanking you timidly as they went.

Jimin started walking over to you and your heart skipped a beat. “Hyung! I thought we talked about working the young ones to death!” He laughed and you would’ve felt lightheaded if you weren’t leaning against the mirrored wall.

“If they wanna be as good of a dancer as you, Jiminie, then I have to be hard on them.” You laughed, still a bit out of breath.

Jimin just hit you on the shoulder and scoffed, “You are better than me 100 percent, hyung.”

You swore this boy was out to kill you.

Park Jimin was perfection in human form. While you wholeheartedly agreed that everyone in BTS was handsome (you had no qualms admitting it out loud) Jimin just did something to you that the other boys didn’t. His personality was nothing to look over, either. All Jimin had to do was be himself and you were there at his beck and call.

Ever since you had started working as BTS’ personal dance instructor, it was like a part of you that you didn’t know was missing fell into place. You had become fast friends with all of them, and there was a certain calmness you felt around them. They were like a family, and you were surrounded by that positive energy almost instantly and brought into their circle.

For a while you passed off your growing affection for Jimin as that. You were enveloped by the good vibes they gave off and that was how you rationalized suddenly wanting to be around Jimin. Hold his hand, make him smile.

But eventually you had to face the music. When your thoughts started to stray to him whenever you had any free time, or when you fantasized about kissing him, taking care of him, you knew what had happened.

You were falling head first in love with this man. (if you weren’t in love with him already)

Yet, you were also scared of what the implications of that were. You started to question yourself more. How does he feel about you? Is he even interested like you are? Does he feel the connection you do? There were so many questions and sometimes your feelings got overwhelming. There have been a couple close calls when you almost confessed just to get it off your chest.

But it’s not like you could just go around confessing your love to one of the members of the world’s biggest boy band.

You almost jumped when you felt a head on your shoulder. You looked down and got a face full of Jimin’s hair and you felt your skin burn where his bare arm touched yours.

He suddenly looked up at you with his big doe eyes and a pout on his face, “What’s on your mind? Are you ok?”

No, you were not ok and he was the reason.

You tried to sort through your thoughts as he looked at you like that, but all you could hear was your heartbeat all the way up in your throat. You were suddenly overcome with the strong urge to kiss him and pull him into a hug so you could protect him from the world. You battled with yourself as the both of you looked into each other’s eyes.

Screw it.

You pushed yourself off the wall (causing Jimin to stand up straight as well) and leaned down before you had the chance to chicken out (where this sudden braveness and affection came from, you would never know). Your lips met his soft ones as you grabbed his head in between your much larger hands.

It was sweet and soft, and you had no intention of deepening it if he didn’t want it. A few seconds went by before you felt his tiny hands push against your chest.

You leaned back and looked into his shocked eyes. Your hands were still cupping his cheeks as he struggled to make a sentence, “Y-Y/n I-“

You interrupted him; you had to let your feelings be known. It was unfair to both of you at this point, and you felt like you were going to explode. Besides, you were already to far over the edge to stop now. “I love you. I am in love with you, Park Jimin.”

His eyes widened even more than before and his mouth parted in disbelief. The room seemed to hold its breath with you as you waited for his response. After a few seconds he stepped back with a frown on his face.

Oh.

“I’m sorry Y/n, but I don’t feel the same.”

Oh.

He left the room, almost slamming the door behind him. In his place was the love that would never be reciprocated.

So much for not confessing.

~~

It had been two months, three weeks, and six days since you confessed. Not that Jimin was counting or anything though.

After the Confession of 2020™️, as he had dubbed it, he’s felt rather misplaced. He doesn’t really know how to describe it.

After he had left the practice room that day, Jimin almost ran back to the dorms. His mind was on overdrive and he didn’t even know what to think, let alone feel.

You loved him. Not like, but love.

He couldn’t fathom how you, the dancer that got promoted in a year (that was a record), the guy that fit in so easily with him and his brothers, the one who had such a deep voice it made something inside him tremble, was in love with him. He was angry at first; how could you just say something that monumental, just out of the blue like that? What was Jimin even supposed to say? The lack of regard you seemed to have for his feelings on the matter made him angsty and upset.

What made him stop and think was the fact that you had pretended like nothing had ever happened.

You went back to treating him like you did before and didn’t bring it up again. But, there was a certain air about you. You seemed sad, and if you were a little more distant than usual, Jimin pretended not to know why when it was brought up one night while BTS was having dinner.

But after thinking about this for longer than he would like to admit, he realized that you only had his feelings in mind.

You decided to not let your feelings get in the way of your relationship with the others. You acted like nothing happened because he had rejected you, and you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable.

Jimin felt like an ass after he figured it out. Of course you would be that considerate, that’s just the type of person you are.

The kind of awkward ‘what happens now’ energy surrounding you both went on for a couple more weeks, but it was when Jimin saw you in the practice room, lights off, head down, and shoulders shaking that he realized maybe you weren’t as ok as you made yourself out to be.

He wanted to go in and check on you, apologize, do something to make sure you were ok.

In the end, he didn’t.

Maybe that’s why, months later, he felt an uncomfortable prickly sensation deep in his gut when he saw you leaning against Hobi-hyung, laughing with tears in your eyes.

Yeah, he just felt guilty. Nothing else.

Yet that same prickly feeling only amplified when he saw you hanging out with Hoseok, dancing with him, grabbing lunch with him. Jimin didn’t get it.

All he knew was that he wanted you here with him instead of his hyung. He wanted you to be laughing, dancing, and eating with him, not anyone else. All of a sudden you were the one that he was thinking about. What were you doing at the moment? Were you smiling? Suddenly he missed your smile. Were you happy? Now he wanted to talk with you, to make you laugh.

This was getting ridiculous.

It was Christmas Eve, but Jimin was anything but cheery as he saw you hugging Hobi in greeting, thanking him for letting you spend the night on Christmas.

Was it just him or could he see you blushing?

All of a sudden, without really knowing what he was doing, Jimin pulled you away from Hoseok and marched you both into his room. You were surprised at the action and a little concerned as you looked at Jimin’s agitated face.

“Hey, are you alright? What’s up Jiminie?”

His heartbeat sped up.

You frowned when he didn’t answer your question. You put your head to his forehead because he looked a little red. “Are you sick? You don’t feel like you have a fever.”

Jesus christ, was this what it felt like to you when he would do anything? He could barely hear you over the sound of his own heartbeat. He wouldn’t be surprised if you could hear it too.

Your eyes softened when you saw tears at the corners of his eyes. You whipped at them softly, “Hey, whatever is bothering you, you can tell me.”

It was quiet for a minute and just as you thought he wasn’t going to answer, Jimin inhaled sharply.

“I love you.”

You paused, short-circuiting for a minute as you processed what he said.

He stepped closer to you, “I love you, L/n Y/n.”

His lips timidly met yours and before you knew what you were doing, you were kissing him back, full of passion.

You put every once of love, sadness, everything into the kiss to try to convey what you couldn’t say in words. You put your hands on his cheeks and tried to push him closer.

Once the two of you parted for air, you looked into his eyes. “God, I love you so much. Park Jimin, you have no idea what you do to me.” Both of you were a blushing mess.

A very small part of you wanted to be angry at him. He made you go through all that heartache, for what? But you would worry about that later; right now, you just wanted to be close to him.

You pulled him into a hug and his small hands found their place at your sides, tugging you closer. Jimin giggled into your chest, feeling lighter than he has in the last few months. “Merry Christmas, Y/n.”

You kissed his head, a giddy smile on your face. “Merry Christmas, Jiminie.”

[end]

~**~

end note: for some reason i love this fic so much!! maybe it’s because it’s my slow progression back into writing for them, but something about this one hits me in the feels (in a good way). i hope you guys have an amazing new year (here’s to hoping 2021 is bounds better than 2020!!🥂) and christmas break. again, thank you so so much to jiminiestanposts for the amazing prompt! and i want everyone to know that i support them and that they are loved 💖💜❤️

masterlist

request something!

taglist: @boba-tea1206​

[yniswaifu]

The bet - 1

You look at the crowd in front of you, eyeing each person for a split second before turning to other. They were talking, they were smiling, they looked happy. Everyone around you and your group were in similar situation – talking, smiling, being happy. But how do we know it was genuine?

Someone tapped your shoulder. You snap back to reality and look at Osamu, the gray head who was also your boyfriend. He had a questioning look on his face, but kept quiet and just smiled at you. You too, smiled back and finished the rest of your food on the lunch tray. Ten more minutes till the end of lunch break.

While you and Osamu weren't the type to be openly affectionate, with the maximum being a kiss on the forehead, the same couldn't be said about the blonde guy sitting across you. He had his girl on his lap, and his head tucked in the crook of her neck. To you, that looked uncomfortable as heck.

"dude, we're in school. Please curb your love." Osamu chimes in, a distasteful expression on his face. His hand was on top of yours, and the other held the special pork bread you get every Friday.

Your eyes turn to the girl, who was blushing at the comment made by your boyfriend. She was pretty, and popular. But she was also nice. So nice that she will might as well take her heart out for you. Her kindness irked you as well, because in today's world kindness was rare, and you weren't sure how genuine that kindness was. You observed her some more. Her hands were intertwined with the blonde's, and she looked happy. Her happy face made something in you hurt when you looked at the 'genuine' love in her eyes, and the 'genuine' love in Atsumu's eyes. Something in you hurt so bad, it made you angry.

You look down and clenched your fist. Conflict was raging in you, making you feel worse with the seconds. You had to decide, and you had to do it now.

The bell rang, and you got up from your seat. Osamu offered to take your tray along with his, and Atsumu followed his brother - trying to be the gentleman he never was. Suna and Ginjima, the other two classmates and friends you had, they too went to keep their trays at the counter. You and f/n were the only people left.

You weren't very close to her. The relationship was confined till "the other twin's girlfriend" category. And since you and her hung out in the same group, you were friendly with each other. A blanket of awkward silence covered the both of you, and while f/n may look uncomfortable, you were scared. Scared of being fake.

"the boys are taking their time." f/n said, and smiled at you. Your eyes widened at her smile, and then turned to her frown. This is wrong. This is so wrong.

"yeah, it seems so. We'll be late for class." you reply, trying your best to smile.

"I know right. Should I go call them?" she asks, pointing towards where four tall dudes stood, talking about something.

You nod your head, and f/n walks over to them to call them. Shutting your eyes tightly, you pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh. That's it, you have to tell her the truth. You can't continue like this.

When f/n returns with the rest of the gang, you stare at them blankly, void of any emotion as you feel drained. Osamu eyes you for a second, and quietly asks, "are you okay?"

His arms wraps around your shoulders and he pulls you closer as you all walked back to class. You were in a different section from others, as your grades were better than theirs. But that didn't affect anyone.

"yeah I'm fine. Just feeling a little tired that's all."

Osamu nods, clearly not accepting your answer, but he let it go for the time being. In the two years of relationship you two had, communication was never an issue. So he knew you will tell him sooner or later anyway.

The boys enter their class, bidding you and f/n goodbye. Atsumu places a kiss on her lips, while Osamu just squeezes your hand a little. You cringe at Atsumu and he sticks out his tongue at you before leaving. Again, it's just y/n and f/n.

"f/n..." you start.

She turns to you and smiles, tilting her head. "yes?"

"when the boys leave for their volleyball practice, would you like to walk home with me?"

You wanted to be direct, but you decided to do it nice and slow.

F/n couldn't believe her ears. The girl she admired was asking her to walk home with her. She wanted to jump in excitement but kept her calm. "sure." she smiles.

You give her a small smile as well, and enter your class. You were going to make it right, even if it hinders your relations.

***

You kick the pebbles on your path, waiting for f/n. Nervousness had a grip on you, but you knew that this was the right thing to do. Best or not, you weren't up for discussing that. You were also aware how this was going to affect the people around you, specially a specific pair of twins – one of who was someone you held dear to your heart.

Speaking of Osamu, your mind drifted to him, and his pretty poker face, and his subtle way of caring. He wasn't the most expressive in the block, but you knew, how much he cherished you. Not like you were any different. Maybe that's why you two vibed well, seeing both of you were introverts.

"let's go."

You see f/n approaching, a smile etched on her face. You force a smile yourself, mentally preparing for the upcoming storm.

It was awkward to say the least. You have never done anything like this before, and now that you have decided to be genuine and honest, all sorts of doubts enveloped you. None of you spoke a word, and you wondered what was going on in her head.

Meanwhile f/n is way too nervous to be walking with you. Being in a class below, hanging out with people like Atsumu and others was overwhelming. She may be popular for her looks or personality, but it wasn't like she asked for it. But when she had seen you for the first time, she was fascinated. She liked how well you kept yourself together, how you were honest with your words, and how cool you were in general. You didn't need someone's validation to make yourself better, and f/n really appreciated that. Sometimes she felt as if her way of living was inside of a bubble, and she wasn't exactly being herself.

For f/n, you were someone she looked up to, and Atsumu was someone she looked down at. His extravagant way of portraying himself for being one of the best volleyball player in Japan, and his superiority complex, got on her nerves. She wanted to avoid him as much as possible, and she did succeed. But not for long, because Atsumu's charms surpassed his cons and she soon found herself falling for him. It was pathetic on her side, seeing how deep she was in this ordeal, and developed a form of self hatred for lowering her morals. Or so she thought. That's why seeing and being with y/n made herself feel a little better, or worse, and she felt she could correct herself through the 'cool' senior who walked beside her in silence.

Soon the silence was broken by you, and you stopped under the streetlight, calling out for f/n. F/n turned to see a pitiful expression. It was almost like...you felt bad for her.

"is everything okay?" she asks, concerned.

Sighing, you meet her eyes and say, "no. It's not."

"huh? What happened?" she asks, confused.

Gulping the lump at the base of your throat, you continue. "Atsumu started dating you because of a dare."

There it was. The bomb. You dropped it without a warning, and the blast is going to injure a lot of people.

F/n stared at you for a good minute before speaking. "why...?"

Her blurred eyes signal the start of waterworks, but you chose to ignore it and continue. "entertainment." you shrug. "you weren't really into Atsumu, so everyone made a bet that he will make you fall for him in a month. And...he succeeded. The bet has been going on for four months now."

Your eyes were cold, f/n noticed. She wasn't sure why you decided to bestow her with this news, and why now. After four months of bliss and in love. Why her, of all the people in the world.

SLAP!

A hand flew across your cheek, the painful sting making it's way on your face. You didn't expect that, but you also knew somewhere deep down you deserved that. You couldn't bring up to look at the now crying girl in front of you, so you kept looking down.

"screw you all." were the last words you heard before the footsteps faded away.

Ah, I went and did it. You think, as your own tears streamed down your face while thinking of the aftermath.

Chapter 1 is up! Wow I'm nervous. Anyway, I hope you like it. The second chapter may be posted sometime within this week, so stay tuned.

Have a beautiful day. ✌️

[tulsa-trash]

Bob Sheldon Headcanons

WARNING(S): Mentions of alcohol abuse, physical abuse, death; got angsty towards the end there god damn—

Has an older brother named Gordon who moved away to go to law school, they’re a little over 4 years apart. They were never really close, due to their father creating unnecessary competition between them since they were younger. He doesn’t like talking about him much.

Mr. Sheldon would always compare Bob to Gordon, saying that Bob “ought to be more like his big brother instead of screwing around all the time.” Overtime Bob grew to resent his old man a whole lot.

Mrs. Sheldon is a chain smoker, she tried her best to hide it from the family but eventually Bob found out. Most of the time after she gets into a fight with her husband, she locks herself in one of their bathrooms, opens the window, and silently lights a cigarette as she stews by herself. One night she forgot to lock the door and Bob walked in on her. He promised he wouldn’t tell dad.

He tended to favor his momma over his daddy, she spoiled him more and he felt she was always easier to talk to than dad.

His parents have a decent age gap, his mother being eleven years younger than his father. They’d known each other since they were kids, his dad was best friends with one of his mom’s brothers growing up.

Being spoiled rotten with tons of cash throughout life has its pros and cons. Despite always coming off as cocky and entitled, deep down bob hated being a soc. At the age of 18 he already had all the money, nice clothes, popularity, and dr*gs he could ever want, so why even try?

He had no goals for himself, didn’t want to go to college, didn’t want to work, he could really care less about all that. He had a tuff car and he was dating one of the hottest gals in school, that was all that was important to him.

He met his best friend, Randy, in kindergarten. They went to catholic school together, they’re parents even get along well. Both of their childhoods were spent visiting each other’s houses and going to family cookouts often.

His dad forced him to join a baseball league in seventh grade, even though Bob expressed he didn’t like it his dad made him stick with it for a few years. He was eventually kicked off the varsity team his sophomore year in high school for excessive drinking, along with constantly butting heads with his teammates and the coach.

The only good thing he got out of baseball was watching Cherry Valance preform with the cheerleaders at his games, that’s how their relationship started.

He’s secretly blind as a bat, but he refuses to wear glasses. Bob found out he desperately needed glasses in the third grade. once all the kids in his class seen him with those thick-brimmed, magnifying glasses it was all over. he was teased ruthlessly to the point where he just stopped wearing them and never put them on again.

“What happened to those god awful goggles, Sheldon?”

“Psh. They were fake I wore em as a joke.” 😅

^ That forced him to sit in the front of class a lot so he didn’t have to struggle as much to see the board. Even though the poor b*stard was blind the entire time, it made him used to getting called on by the teachers and chatting with his classmates. He was one of the most popular boys in town in no time.

Mr. Sheldon slowly became an alcoholic as his boys grew up. He went from one glass of scotch at night to taking a shot immediately when he wakes up in the morning and being plastered by the afternoon. Usually he’s a sluggish drunk, but god forbid he gets to drinking when he’s mad.

His old man was terrifying when he was both intoxicated and livid. He never put his hands on his wife but there have been multiple drunken episodes where he either destroyed sh*t in the house... or he’d beat Bob.

If you were to ask Bob if he would rather get hit with a belt or his dad’s hands, he would pick the belt. Even the metal part hitting him was no where near as painful as his father’s closed-fist strikes with his gold rings. If Bob had a good buzz on it numbed the pain a bit, so he tried his best to be hammered before he got home most nights.

His mother never stepped in or said anything about it, she’d clean up her husband’s mess and go to bed. The next morning the family would act as if it didn’t happen. They had to maintain their pristine reputation of course, wouldn’t want the neighborhood to know both Mr. Sheldon and his youngest son had drinking problems. Bob eventually couldn’t even stand his mom anymore. He hated them.

Mrs. Sheldon hated herself too, and her husband. She knew her baby boy was f*cked up because of them, the guilt ate away at her every day. Deep down in her heart she knew her son was drinking and causing trouble because of how he was brought up— how he was being treated at home... and she did nothing about it.

The mixture of bullies at school and his own personal bully at home molded him into being the arrogant and angry a*shole we’ve come to know. No one would be able to hurt him if he just beat them to it and hurt them first... right?

One night things got really bad, Bob’s report card came in the mail while he was out on a date with Cherry. His daddy was displeased, to say the least, 3 bold F’s sat on the paper.

“That no good son of a b*tch is lucky he ain’t home.” Mr. Sheldon spat as he slammed the report card on the dining room table, his wife visibly flinched.

When Bob got home that night he was already fired up, some greasers were trying to make a move on Cherry and Randy’s girl, Marcia, at the Nightly Double. The last thing he expected when he got home was to see his mother sweeping up broken glass while nursing a busted lip and a black eye.

They held eye contact for a long moment, neither of them said a word. His mother looked at him with so much pain, so much regret in her eyes, tears silently rolled down her cheeks. Bob turned around and left wordlessly.

He picked up a few of his friends, stopped by the liquor store, then began to look for some trouble. He immediately drove to the east side of town to look for some greasers to mess with, and after only fifteen minutes of cruising his eyes landed two younger boys from the drive-in earlier that night.

“Jackpot.” He slurred to himself as he turned his car onto the grass and pulled up to the park.

Whoever wasn’t helping Bob restrain the greaser he was drowning was beating the second boy in the grass. Every now and then Bob would pull the kid out of the water only to shove him back in almost immediately. He held him under the water, the cold liquid splashed everywhere managing to soak everyone near the fountain but he didn’t care... he couldn’t feel a thing.

The other greaser was shouting, his pals continued to egg him on as he continued swing the greaser’s head back and forth wildly under the water. He didn’t even know what anyone was saying, he wasn’t paying attention, all his focus was directly on hurting the individual in his grasp.

Red. Everything was fine until Bob noticed the water was changing colors. His ears were ringing, all he could hear was the faint sound of footsteps rapidly getting lower and lower, farther away. There was no more yelling, no more voices.

“Did I k.ill him?” He thought to himself, immediate regret and fear flooding over him.

He let go of the kids shirt and fell over with a soft thud, a sharp pain erupted from his torso. His hand lightly touched the left side of his ribs and there it was... warm, red liquid coated his fingertips after he pulled his hand away. It was then he noticed the other greaser, the tan boy frantically pulled his friend out of the water and laid him down on the cold concrete.

“P-Pony? Ponyboy?” He shook violently, his right fist held a switchblade tightly. “Oh god... what did I do... what did I do.”

Bob watched him slowly sink to the ground, his back resting against the side of the fountain as he began to sob. His eyes flickered to the unconscious kid, Ponyboy. He didn’t understand how his body went from hot to cold as fast as it did, the reality of the situation was crashing down on him like a ton of bricks, he knew he was going to die.

He looked up at the sky and took in a strangled breath before wincing in pain. To his left he noticed his flask— his dads old flask, it was his eighteenth birthday gift. The thought of his father’s proud face as he handed it to him that day made Bob sick. He reached for it, the cold metal on his palm soothed him a bit. He weakly unscrewed the cap and went to take a sip, only to realize it was empty. Johnny watched him the entire time with a horrified gaze, but Bob didn’t seem to notice.

“Damn... that’s a shame.” The Soc grumbled to himself.

He tossed it, making it land a few feet away in the grass. His attention returned to the starry sky, a light feeling crept its way in his chest. He couldn’t tell if that was just him dying or if it was something else, but after eighteen years of being in this world his finally took the time to stop and look at how beautiful the sky was for the first and last time. He was scared, he didn’t want to go so soon, yet at the same time... he was relieved.

“Wow...” Bob sighed, “Ain’t this something else.”

His vision began to blur, tears— or was that also death? He felt the salty streams creep past his eyelids and run down the corners of his eyes. He was ready.

With one final breath, he passed away. His eyes never closed, he died looking at the stars.