#i wanted to use the phrase “dont worry your pretty little head” bc i thought it was cute | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

icharchivist · 3 years ago

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hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

#ichafantalks a3 #sonnets of beauty #ichareply

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milkacchan · 4 years ago

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My fav haikyuu boys w an s/o who plays hockey

And s/o gets into a fight on the ice

First of all I do not play hockey but I wish I did so much bro

Kuroo:

• Mans is wearing your Jersey number

• He's sitting as close to the glass as possible

• And he's cheering you on as loud as he can

• He's probably with Bokuto or Kenma

• But his main focus is on you

• He's lowkey mesmerized by yours plays

• And the sheer tough and rough of the sport

• He's watched you wipe out a few times and he can tell by your body language you're getting frustrated

• But he freezes when he see's someone of the other team push you over and he winces when he see's you wipe out again

• "Oh no- (Y/N)!

• Things are starting to get chaotic

• And then he sees you get up and he see's you skate over

• And then he see's you swing

• "Fuck!"

• Bokuto/Kenma is cringing next to him

• Kuroos pale

• and oddly turned on watching you obliterate the person in front of you

• And then the masks come off and then he's worried worried because you take a first to the face and he hears your frustration from the rink

• And then your first collides with their face again

• Cue the chorus' of 'oh fuk'

• He's VERY worried

• You stand up after being pulled away

• the other person was pulled away as well

• You've got blood pouring down your cheek and he thinks he's gonna pass out

• He's pushing past people (followed by whoever he's with) as he eyes follow were you are

• "Babe? Babe you okay?"

• You flash him a bright smile. "Always. Just part of the game honey."

• God he's so in love with you

Bokuto:

• Mans is also wearing your jersey number

• he's fucking COLD

• decked out in warm clothes

• He's absolutely the loudest in the stands

• You can hear him on the ice

• He makes sure of it

• And knows a little about hockey, you watch it all the time

• But this is the first time he's been able to see you play

• n he's watching youu

• vibe and do your thing

• And then you make a point and he's !!!!!!

• but then he watches you get shoved over and hit with the stick and he's !!!!!! >:(

• Your hand reaches out and grabs the other person's skate and you yank and they fall backwards

• the teams are descending into chaos

• baby is cheering you on

• SCREAMING your fucking name as you pummel this person below you

• He's internally worried tho dont get me wrong

• but

• He's also caught in the moment

• he didnt think fights REALLY happened but here it was

• you werent lying

• He can see the blood on your Jersey and he's Definitely worried more after that

• "Nice hit out there, babe!!!!"

• "Thank you, Bo!" You wave at him before you're off the ice

• And he's just watching you with a dumb grin and lovey eyes

• He supports the fuck out of you okay

• He's definitely on your ass after the game, checking to make sure you're okay

• You've got a bruised cheek bone

• You assure him you're fine

• "But what about the blood on your jersey?"

"Pretty cool right? Just my nose though, I got all that taken care of. I'll probably have to get a New Jersey though.. blood stains."

• And then hezs kissing you bc you're just so perfect and unaffected by what happened

• "Baby you're so strong," 🥺

• "Aw bo,"

Akaashi: (the following is based of a true story) (the Bruins)

• Your team won

• :)))

• by a point in the last 4 seconds

• defense baby

• Akaashi is cheering next between bokuto

• Bc Akaashi is your boyfriend but Bo is also one of your best friends

• Neither wanted to miss it

• They're both wide smiles and proud of you for doing so well

• Internally planning dinner for after

• Its a vibe

• Theyre vibing

• And the other team is getting salty

• hence a team wide fight begins

• And Akaashi is immediately feeling uneasy as he watches the fans start to stir the pot too

• And suddenly a girl in the stands grabs your hockey stick and she hits you with it

• Akaashi is lunging foward and Bokuto is right behind him

• It takes you 0.000089 seconds to turn around and climb over the wall, immediately going for her

• Two men are trying to hold you back but they're quickly pulled off as other members of the team follow suit

• "the pretty boy with the green eyes and the owl are mine!" You yell to your teammates

• They confirm and you watch the girl run (try to anyway) up the steps of the stands and your right behind her

• You just so happen to corner her in the stand row above where Akaashi and Bo are

• You havent realized this yet

• He watches as you pull her back, she's still swatting at you, screaming curse words and phrases

• He watches without moving and pull the girls shoe off, using that just as she'd used your hockey stick

• Finally, when she's screaming apologies instead and you're done ripping her a new one

• You looked at the row next to you, grinning happily when you see who it is

• "Keiji, hey, glad you could make it,"

• You're bleeding

• The side of your head is bleeding Oh god

• he's about to answer when you press a chaste kiss to his lips

• "Hope you enjoyed." You drop the shoe "hello to you too, bo."

• then you're heading back down the stands, bumping into your teammates

• It was then Akaashi realized, you were absolutely 100% the one for him

• You're suspended for 8 games oop

Oikawa:

• Oikawa had seen you come home with plenty of bruises and scrapes

• he understood, he played volleyball and he knew how hard sports could be on your body

• But he never thought it'd be from another person

• But he shows up to your game

• iwachan dragging behind him

• Because no way was he going alone too many people

• And they're just chilling in the stands, having fun like they did when they were kids

• cheering and what not

• And Oikawa looks away for a SECOND

• someone calls his name and he glances black, figuring it to just be some fangirl

• But then everyone's yelling and the announcers are talking

• and iwa shoves him and Oikawa looks back

• to see you 🥰

• Getting the shit beat out of

• And his heart stops and his breath hitches.

• "Wo-Woah, Hold on-"

• He watches as your head hits the ice and he's yelling

• He's absolutely gripping Hajimes sleeve in pure panic

• It doesn't last long though because soon you're up and your shoulder rams into the other person's stomach knocking them back on their ass

• "Holy fuck dude," Hajimez eyes are wide

• "Jesus-"

• He watches as you fall onto the person beneath you

• It doesn't look like you're hitting them, more yelling than anything

• But you're definitely fighting off the people trying to pull you off

• His stomach is doing flips

• When he see's you after the game, you're in his arms in a HEARTBEAT

• he's squeezing you and then inspecting your bruised and bloodied face

• Dinner consists of a hospital visit, stitches (which you really didnt like) and almost falling asleep against Oikawas chest as Iwa drove home

• Oikawas sure to tell you how proud he is though

• and that he's happy yall won the game :)

Iwazumi:

• He knew practices were tough

• He knew the sport itself was a tough sport

• But he didnt know about the fights that often happen during hockey games

• Iwa probably went alone

• He's sitting closer to the ice

• And he's watching with a smile as you do your thing

• And the game progresses and he's got a drink and he's munching on popcorn

• completely mesmerized by the game

• He thinks the game is incredible all on it's own

• It's tough

• you're against elements

• Skating is hard

• He didn't thi k it was hard until you took him to a rink and the two of you practices and he fell on his ass so many times

• his butt was bruised for weeks

• And you've got pucks that HURT when they hit you

• all in all you have to be tough

• but his eyes always drift back to you

• just in time too

• He watches the person on the other team, swing their hockey stick and hit you in the back of the legs

• He's immediately standing

• His drink forgotten as it fell to the floor

• "H-Hey!"

• His heart falls and he sees you stand up

• But from how it looked, the way you fell /must've/ hurt.

• Your team seems to take no mercy on the other player before you can get up

• It did seem that you laid a good punch in

• A few good punches based on how they fell back

• But you were lost in the swarm of players

• And he can see (vaguely hear) that despite your coaches pleading, you're still going to play the rest of the game.

• He has the urge to flick you

• you're just like shittykawa.

• Never giving yourself a break

• when the game finally ends (your team wins)

• you're off the ice first, looking up to flash iwa a smile, one he clearly knew was pained.

• He's outside the Locker room waiting for you

• He takes your hand and the two of you are off to get home

• Of course, he scolds you in the car.

• But then he hesitantly admits that it was cool to zeesee but you still should've stopped playing

• He makes you dinner

• And you watch a movie while he has your legs in his lap so you can ice your knees

• he's 100% taking you to get them checked out tomorrow morning

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dear-space-cadet · 5 years ago

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al horford sleeper agent

—————

anyway by now ive told basically everyone i care about but i had a life changing experience over the weekend. n it sounds dumb as shit but i met a real life dude who was basically a clone of nick from franz. weird hours. guess this is a thread

before we start i want to say i havent thought about franz in weeks. theyve gone away on their own finally but really i think my old obsessions just get replaced every few years and maybe it was my hard work in therapy or my new obsession with rap or

maybe it was just a realization or me growing up and maturing or something but i dont even want to work on my favorite fanfics anymore or anything. it’s just odd. i think im changing

and i don’t think about how my former favorite band members are doing or worry about them or check their socials n it feels really good. but i know there probably is or probably will be a replacement

ok that was a tangent. if they were replaced by anything they were replaced by new friends and the NBA. so there’s the exposition of this story sorted

anyway back to the weekend. the sleeper agent invited me to lunch. and that was the catalyst. god people are being so loud in here let me go to the art library

anyway i just kind of realized "huh i guess there's more out there." i went to lunch n shit. WE went to lunch n shit. stopped caring so much about my math homework. let myself be dumb and in love

that’s a very human thing. lunch. he spilled his stupid chipotle burrito all over his stupid bright green celtics jacket

he’s from italy. never even stepped foot in a chipotle. immediately clowned himself. some world we live in

we hung out all weekend. we went to lunch like two more times and we went to dinner. there was this big threat of leaving looming over my head the whole time. i made him walk like a mile on crutches and i feel very bad about it

i don’t know what’s wrong with him. it’s somewhere between a basketball injury and a chronic disability. either way that just made me feel even more emotionally attached to him. i never saw him without the celtics jacket

it was so cold that weekend. or maybe i just didn’t bring the right jacket. if he were a gentleman he would have offered me the celtics jacket. i didnt even hug him goodbye

and then of course he went back home. theres a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time. theres nothing special about me. he doesn't want to talk. i wrote my ap psych notes in green yesterday bc i was so in love with that stupid celtics jacket

im a sixers fan. the sixers and the celtics have been rivals forever. it was about to be war, except i want to move to boston. but really i want to move to dc. i wish the whole world was philly. things would be less complicated

im in love with a celtics jacket. a celtics jacket. of all teams. and i cant even talk to my basketball friends about it because they think im dumb shit for falling for some celtics fan with a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time

im not like those girls. i don’t think im like those girls. but i definitely exactly am

i have an economics test in fifteen minutes. i think one day ill drown in the atlantic ocean.

the test wasnt that bad. i thought about writing this the entire time. i would just zone out and stare and think about the phrase ‘al horford sleeper agent’

because he has to be. why else would someone put a diehard sixers fan right in front of a diehard celtics fan who looks exactly like the guitarist of their middle school favorite band

in reality i should be calling him a celtics sleeper agent because the whole point is that al horford is a sleeper agent for the celtics. but i hate al horford so i guess it’s more funny to include him in the title

i mean how can one player change so drastically like that? al horford was benched for the first time since his rookie season, like, two weeks ago after being traded to the sixers. how does that happen? why *wouldn’t* he be playing badly so his old friends win the title?

al horford’s gotta be retiring in like, three years, tops. he’s working for the celtics, i know it. and my sleeper agent is trying to convert me to a celtics fan

i understand why people make jokes, though. it’s a very human thing to want to go home. al horford just wants to go home. he lived in boston for however many years let me look it up

god whatever it was only three years i thought it was like eleven that just ruined my point

back to the matter at hand though that’s all we’re trying to do. we all just want to feel at home. we’re all just these little things trying to connect somehow. sometimes we are more desperate than others

i think im pretty desperate right now. sometimes i sit in my bedroom and im like damn when do i get to go home? but im home

i didn’t even want to leave dc. it was all star break and there wasn’t even basketball on. so there i was, in basketball purgatory, wizards territory for some god forsaken reason, losing sleep over a celtics fan and not wanting to go home

and when i say i was losing sleep you better believe me. i was so excited to wake up in the morning that i didn’t want to fall asleep. i wanted to be awake forever, endless, running through the city

i’ll get there soon enough. it’ll be with different people. college, yknow. all that. but sometimes i feel like certain things can’t be replaced.

and im acting like a different person lately. im using my phone at red lights just so i can check for a message from the sleeper agent. it’s always one word responses

yes. ok. maybe. some shit like that. a haha every once in a while. he’s not interested and i should stop trying

and then, INEVITABLY, i send something stupid back, a photo of my hand on the wheel or something, and i get left on read

and i know im stupid for it. everyone i know is screaming at me “disco, you’re dumb shit” but i just want to believe for a minute that im loved, im special

I want to feel like someone out there cares about me that isn’t obligated to, yknow? my mom can say she loves me all she wants but it doesn’t feel as good as some italian celtics fan saying it

some hot italian celtics fan mind you

even if he wasn’t hot or italian it would be nice. and actually it would be better if he liked like, ANY other basketball team

except maybe the knicks

but whatever. main point: i know im dumb shit and should stop trying. but it feels good to feel like if i keep trying maybe i’ll be wanted

sleeper agent is just one of those people tho. he’s magnetic and everyone always wants to be around him. dumb as hell in the most charming way ever. my friends are still all making fun of me

i started crying in a pizza place the other night because even the CONCEPT of italy sent me over the edge. i need to stop before i

wait what’s the word

i need to stop before i immortalize him? no, no

i need to stop before i deify him. soon enough he’s going to be a new canonical character in my head and i’ll start making up legends and stories to myself

we barely knew each other. if i deify him i’ll start telling people he offered me the celtics jacket when it was cold out. he’ll become a perfect gentleman. and he wasnt. he was just some stupid hot italian boy in a bright green jacket

im not going to deify him. it won’t happen. but i love the color green. i always say i love yellow more but i think that’s passed. i wear a green ring on my right ring finger every day. im not going to deify him and i still hate the celtics

overall, the celtics are winning the rivalry. i don’t think the sixers have ever truly been “great,” at least outside of philly. maybe allen iverson. wilt chamberlain. dr j? theyve never had like, a dynasty. idk. i don’t think you’d be able to get a sixers jacket in italy.

it’s his birthday today. i should probably text him. i should probably stop thinking about him. that’s just dumb shit, disco youre better than this what happened to a little self confidence every now and again

sure lets say external validation isnt necessary but also i think that’s something the mindfulness crowd made up to sell more planners and tote bags in 2011. it feels good to be wanted

never waste all your time on it sure. know youre still worth it even when you have no friends and there are a million girls all over his instagram comments. but it does feel good to hear “goodness disco i like how much you like the philadelphia 76ers”

my friends are all making fun of me for being on some romeo and juliet shit because he’s literally from verona and he’s a celtics fan and im a sixers fan god damn it disco why does this always happen

i never even read romeo and juliet but i saw the dreamworks adaptation so i guess ive got the story relatively right i know they die in the end. the gnomes shatter into little pieces i think

anyway tangents aside the sixers won tonight. philly is lit up green. why the hell is philly lit up green? the eagles were done like three months ago and the flyers are orange. why is philly lit up green

oh god, he just snapped me. a zoomed in photo of himself with caption that says “76ers” with like five exclamation points

here we go again, everybody

wish me luck

#writeblr #writing #original writing #creative writing #narrative #my writing #philadelphia 76ers #boston celtics #nba #just inspo lmao #also jacket boy is currently quarantined for coronavirus #just thought id add that with the news out if italy #pip pip cheerio #al horford #al horford sleeper agent #narrative nonsense #disco is my real name

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gayregis · 6 years ago

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okay it’s time for me to post stupid parental-mentorship headcanons for regis and angoulême!

angoulême bares her teeth and shows the whites of her eyes when she waves her sword around like a fucking maniac. she was already doing this a little bit before she met the hansa but meeting regis solidified this behavior in her bc he encouraged it. fang-bearing is a good strat js

when angoulême was learning how to shoot with milva teaching her, she accidentally shot regis in the arm and he had to pretend to be hurt bc people were watching. angoulême was actually distraught and vulnerable for a good moment before they all got inside and regis plucked the arrow out of his shoulder nonchalantly and handed it to her. angoulême wasn’t on the battle of the bridge so... she didn’t know he could do ... that... and she was crying so hard bc she thought she legit hurt him

after this incident angoulême DEMANDS regis tell her all the cool shit he can do. he’s kind of awkward about it for a while because things like leaping at throats isn’t really a family friendly activity and isn’t who he’s trying to be, but then he realizes yea he better start practicing because they all are going to an epic battle to save ciri, right?

angoulême is caught selling drugs out of the palace and geralt asks regis for help deciding how they should proceed. regis is like “ground her” and geralt’s like “right, good idea” and regis is like “no flying for a month!” angoulême is like “FUCK i couldn’t even fly in the first place! this sucks” and geralt is like “... regis... what” and regis is like “what. that’s what grounding means. you’re grounded because you can’t fl- ok do humans have different rules for this or”

regis is more concerned that her prices were too low and that she wasn’t keeping a tidy lab/was cutting it with some other ingredients/partially contaminated the end product so he helps her with this business venture and then they both get shut down by geralt. geralt cracked down on them both before the concept of mandrake fisstech could ever be realized, unfortunately

angoulême was sniffing powder and then regis just walked past and took the metal case out of her hands. when she immediately protested he said “you’re a gram away from an overdose i can smell it in your blood” and then she just sat there like oh. could have died thx i guess

regis walked into the living room to see angoulême with her ear pressed up against a door trying to hear what the fuck geralt and dandelion were talking about. regis was like “what are you doing,” she was like “shhh spying wtf does it look like.” regis just stands 2 feet away from the door and hears the whole thing with Cool Vampire Hearing and at the end is like “ok how much of that did you catch what parts do you need me to fill you in on” and shes like “everything, i couldn’t hear shit.”

angoulême says like “damnit i wish i had a knife.” regis disappears and reappears two seconds later with a knife and gives it to her and is like “here you go”

they have a semi-serious discussion about addiction and regis is like “honestly i just think all addiction ends in decaptiation sooner or later, so that’s my advice” and angoulême slowly eases off the fisstech. also because another one of regis’s pieces of advice was basically “don’t get high on your own supply.”

and/or regis and geralt were discussing this topic and regis didn’t seem too worried about angoulême, was pretty laizze-faire, ‘everything will work out in the end’ and all, and then geralt said “okay but just keep in mind. humans don’t regrow their fucking heads.” and then regis got up to go convince angoulême to be safe

one time at night because she was trying to even out odds with some old ‘acquaintances’ but they brought some other guys that she wasn’t expecting, angoulême was being cornered in a toussaint alley. they stole her knife and she hadn’t gone out with her sword so she was like fuck... really in some shit. now as you’re probably predicting regis uses Cool Vampire Powers to help but there’s honestly two ways this could go down. the first way is that he appears at the end of the alley and is like “hey . you shouldn’t threaten teenage girls” and then ofc the bandit guys are still violent... so neck slitting is in order...

but the second way is (if it’s a more open area, a little outside of toussaint) as angoulême is being cornered by bandits all around a giant fucking bat swoops in out of nowhere and snatches her up into the sky, flying a few miles away (out of sight) before landing in a field. angoulême is freaking out for the entire flight because she doesn’t know what the fuck is going on/who it is and when regis lands and reappears as like A Man and is like “what the FUCK were you doing you could have DIED” she isn’t even thinking about the fact she could have died she’s just like “you can be a BAT??????”

angoulême often offers a lot of deep insight or reflective thoughts to regis. not on purpose but the overall message is like “you shouldn’t feel guilty about what you did in the past because we can’t change the past, we can only move forward/youth are stupid, it’s the one time in your life where it’s not socially inappropriate to be stupid. what matters is that you learn and don’t think too much about what the fuck you did”

it’s literally canon that regis thinks angoulême’s witty (and sometimes strange or innapropriate) catchphrases are epic because he starts using them, so i don’t even need to mention this one.

angoulême shares about her insecurities that stem from not knowing/not having a relationship with her biological family and regis consoles her but is also like . vampires don’t ever really visit or see their parents again after they learn to fly and it’s just the normal social thing to form bandit-like, hell-raising groups so i don’t think it’s that weird

“so you can like be stabbed a thousand times and still be ok?” “more or less” “wow. if i could do that i’d-“ “do a lot of stupid shit?” “more or less” “you’ve just neatly summarized my entire life”

angoulême starts to pick up on the ancient vampire language because regis curses in it frequently when he’s frustrated and then in the living room later at night she swears (saying some phrase that regis said before, she doesn’t really know what it means beyond the context of This Is A Bad Word) and regis is like whoa. hold on. WHAT did you just say . angoulême is like uhhhhh nothing ?

angoulême “stole” a book from regis because she wanted to pawn it for cash and it was probably the first time she felt guilt and regret from stealing... i say “stole” because ofc vampire ‘sleep’ isn’t like human sleep, so he was aware that she was in the room and took something out, after she left she got caught by milva who was walking past the door and they talked abt it. angoulême explained why she was doing what she was doing and said the title of the book she needed to pawn, etc. milva disapproved and advised her to leave it in the living room or sneak it back in. after all this (which regis ofc. heard.) he actually looked and realized she took the wrong one bc it was dark and she couldn’t see. so when she goes to pawn it regis shows up with the correct book and they pawn it together. angoulême gets emotional and is like “this is the first time ive felt bad for stealing, wtf,” and regis is like “dont worry watch this” and disappears to reappear, with the book, moments later. he says “we just got 75 crowns for free” and angoulême is like “:0 thats so smart wtf.” she offers him half of the gold they just got but regis declines and when she asks why he holds up a coin pouch and is like “because i also stole the rest of his money along with the book. and an apple too”

#regis #angouleme #thoughts #hansa

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someobscurereference · 7 years ago

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(1/2) hng so this was a weird thing to take away from ur nsfw hcs (100/10 by the way, i love and theyre perf) but the one ab niles and the choking also made me think ab the diff ways l/n/o handle the trauma theyve been through. (in my personal hc) obvs theres overlap, but leo becomes kinda a workaholic/insomniac, niles is (as in canon)distrusting/often distant w/ def some triggers, and odin/the trio has a warped sense of priorities in regards to their own lives/injuries (listen i have a spiel ab

(2/2)how living a long period of their lives ready to die has shifted their outlooks and while they arent suicidal they have like? A very cavalier outlook on their own lives? ‘Dont do that, you could get hurt’ ‘its cool itd totally be worth it’ ‘not to US dipshit’ and im getting sidetracked and may ask u for hcs ab that later but my original ask was how do u think n/l/o reconcile/help each other w their diff types of trauma? I love ye olde comfort trope (happy holidays FYI! take ur time w this)

Firstly, I totally agree on your points about how these three handle trauma. I hadn’t thought about Leo’s methods too much, but overworking (being 8,000% over prepared for anything/needing that sense of “things are under control”) and insomnia make sense to me, as do Niles’ and Odin’s (which I may have also vaguely referred to before in other asks). (Also I’m glad you like my other hcs, lol).

In terms of how they comfort each other, I’ll start by initially referencing this ask , in which I mention that if Odin’s secret past were to come to light, he and Niles might benefit by discussing their traumas together, as actually verbalizing their experiences (rather than leaving things unsaid as Odin might with Selena and Laslow, who experienced the bad timeline firsthand) and getting fresh perspectives might help. Niles’ and Odin’s pasts aren’t the same (different settings, different monsters, etc), but they can still probably relate to each other in certain ways. (That ask, btw, sorta also references this longer, semi-related ask if you want a larger context, but that’s the gist of what it says). So in a world where Odin is able to discuss his past trauma without giving the time/dimensional travel away (or where it is an open secret), frank discussion would probably benefit him and Niles both.

I get the feeling Niles’ past isn’t discussed with Leo a lot? In his and Niles’ support, Leo seems pretty uncomfortable hearing about Niles’ past (when Niles is describing it in unpleasant flashes, I mean) and he actually bails kinda early in their C-Support, to the point where Niles apologizes to Leo in their B-Support in case he burdened Leo in some way. (Niles also admits he doesn’t remember a lot of his time before meeting Leo anyway, so that’s something else to unpack altogether.) Leo assures Niles that isn’t true, so he definitely isn’t shutting down that kind of communication entirely. It’s not that he’s unnecessarily unwilling so much as that he’s kinda awkward, I think. He expresses interest in what Niles has to say by asking if he has any pleasant memories of his past at all, which allows Niles to continue talking without diving back into unpleasant material for both of them. Even though Leo’s uncomfortable, he’s probably a decent listener? In their exchange, Leo seems to have the lesser amount of dialogue, often offering two or three word answers. Part of that seems to be a search for words to say, however. He’s probably better when given a heads-up. He and Niles probably don’t talk the same way Odin and Niles do about their traumas though. Leo seems to discuss the present/future worries more than past ones.

That said, I feel like Leo is the type to help more through understanding/making the situation easier for the upset person. Like, if they had to cross a bridge, he might suggest they take the longer way around and would only explicitly ask “Odin, are you okay?” if they were absolutely going to cross the bridge and it was particularly intimidating. Granted, he might not even ask at all if he’s confident Odin will be fine and doesn’t want to draw attention to it. (Leo places a lot of faith in his retainers, which sometimes appears as giving them space and independence in times of stress.)

(Also, I’m not sure Odin would admit to his fear deterring him unless explicitly asked, so that’s probably another conversation altogether too.) Leo might offer slow down or do something more once the bridge had been crossed though.

But in another example, like, if he were sitting in a room with Niles and Niles was clearly upset thinking about something (maybe the past or another trigger), if Leo asks “Do you want to talk” and Niles says “No,” Leo would sit there in silence with Niles until Niles was feeling better.

It’s hard to explain, but while Leo is direct in his own way, I feel like if he has all the information on a situation already, he’s not direct/asking questions the same way Niles or Odin might be.

(I feel like I’ve strayed a bit from the “comfort” part of this ask, so let’s get back on track, lol.)

Niles is the first to recognize a panic attack in any of them, including himself, and when Leo has his first panic attack, he’s the one who tells Leo to put his head down and helps him breathe until it’s over and then explains what happened when Leo asks why

When Leo overworks himself, Odin and Niles both take notice and they go out of their way to do more themselves to lessen Leo’s burden. They also either remind him to slow down or try to guide him to bed when he works late into the night too. They take turns staying up with him when Leo can’t sleep; sometimes they both stay up, but one of them has to be functional in the morning, so they try to take turns.

Finding Leo asleep in the library or on top of a book or some other place that isn’t his bed isn’t unusual, but if so, either Niles or Odin usually aren’t far away

There are things Niles Doesn’t Like and places/ways he just doesn’t want to be touched (example: don’t touch his neck too much bc that activates a fight or flight response) and so Odin and Leo don’t do those things and/or back off when Niles seems to be getting oddly fidgety and give him his space when he needs it

that said Niles is pretty tactile in private, so they’re experts by now

His memories before Leo are in fragments (as said in his Supports) so any dreams/suddenly triggered memories of his past make him feel Off for a little while. He doesn’t always talk about it–– Odin and Leo alternate between listening when he wants to speak and giving him space to reminisce depending on his mood. He’ll more often speak to Odin and sit quietly with Leo. It can happen the other way around, but it’s more common the first way.

Odin tries to hide when he’s upset the most? (Niles is super guarded unless alone with Leo and eventually also Odin. Leo also hides it, and while he’s decent, he’s not the best and his retainers see right through him anyway, especially once they’ve been around Leo for a while.)

Maybe that’s the wrong way to phrase it. That is, while Odin might say he’s not feeling well, he’s sometimes the least likely to say why, especially if it deals with pre-Nohr stuff.

Odin has a tendency to be vague about what’s triggering or at the very least bothering him, especially since most of his trauma comes from his secret past which is… secret, obviously. The tendency to keep it quiet even if Niles and Leo have already found out about his past still persists.

The main signs that Odin is distressed is that he gets (a.) quiet and (b.) speaks normally and seems reluctant to talk. When the source is obvious (like they’re climbing a mountain and it’s the heights thing), Niles and Leo try to talk to him as a distraction, which usually helps. When the source is less obvious/talking doesn’t help, holding hands to keep Odin grounded in the moment usually works pretty well.

Touch is pretty good for all three of them most of the time, actually.

Happy holidays to you too! I hope you’ve had a good December!

#my text #asks #fe14 #trauma discussion #long post #i didn't touch on the 'doing things that'll definitely end up with injuries' thing that you mentioned but i wasn't ignoring it on purpose #the heights thing was just easier to use as an example #i feel like i had more to say but i can't put it into words so! thanks! i hope this was what you were looking for bc i feel like i was #somehow too vague still lol #EDIT: something i was trying to say earlier but i wasn't sure i had the words to do so #was that i feel like odin is good at compartmentalizing??#not that niles or leo aren't because they do in their own way #but specifically tho #but i feel like the theatrics and talking like a hero thing was a hobby/interest that developed into a coping mechanism as a kid #and just continued on #which i may have mentioned before #i feel like it's less a coping mechanism and more just a fun thing he got used to by fates #bc it wasn't needed as much #but there was a good meta i read before about how selena and laslow remember people from ylisee and odin remembers/relates to events #idk where i'm really going with this or how to put it all together coherently so maybe don't even ask because i'll be just as confused as #you are but #idk i was gonna say something about how his compartmentalizing and theatrics combine into a form of disassociation? but then maybe #that's not the right word either #there's a distance #and anyway it's changed by fates at least a little and definitely lessened even if so #and i'm definitely not an expert or qualified to maybe make that call anyway #i've definitely lost the thread here sorry #if anyone asks what i'm trying to say here i won't have any idea what to tell them #blugh i tried

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ts-akhmim · 4 years ago

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Episode 5 | “Wish me luck America” - Dan

I wanted a swap, i practically BEGGED for one because i was ready to cause chaos, so i swap happens .... but its NOT good for me whatsoever because all the people i wanted to flip on and get out somehow end up on the other tribe, and to make it even better, what sole beauty do i get stuck with? connor. yet ANOTHER person lying to my face STILL TELLING ME I WASNT A VOTE OPTION...... just another fool on the list of fools who think IM the fool so this is an interesting dynamic, 4 original brawn, 2 brain, 2 beauty. off the bat it looks like those 4 brawn could be solid, so ive already been working to talk to the brains tribe during the one world twist, so being with autumn and duncan could potentially be good for me, obviously i dont know how theyre feeling but in a perfect world i want to allign with the brains. As much as i would love to vote out connor right away just to send a big old middle finger to the alliance that included him over me in it, but im not sure that can happen. My only hope right now is that there's a crack within the brawn, if there is i can try and get in good with connor to maybe see about uniting with the brains and taking out a brawn, even if it meant 4-4 and going to rocks, im here to play so id absolutely do that. If the brawns arent that tight however, and i can just flip one to want to work with me, i can use that as an opportunity to start a new alliance maybe with the brains and a brawn to vote out connor/anyone else not in our numbers, not sure yet, theres so many scenerios game wise but i think especially in the last 24 hours ive talked a lot of game with people, so i need to calm down on that and get back to personal conversations to try and estabilish trust with anyone i might need down the line, if we even go to tribal which im hoping we just dont, because then not only am i safe, but i get to hopefully see someone on the other side go home, and i would love for it to be one of the frauds amir, augusto, or kendall. but its also terrifying since connor is such a wild card like what if he flipped to the brauns or the brains linked up with the brawn to pick me off? basically if im gonna survive this swap, i need a little bit of luck, a little bit more strategy, and some more connections to get me through, i thought thats what i was doing before though and it clearly didnt work too well so buckle the fuck up because i have no idea where we go from here

lmao remember a few hours ago when i said i hated this swap because it didnt give me much opportunity? well little did i know was all i had to do was bat my eyes a little and opportunity appeared right before me! meaning that, ive been trying to talk to and connect with some of these new people, ive had decent talks with liam and ali mostly, and i was trying to keep game talk minimal up until LIAM out of no where says to me, "oh i just realized someone on this tribe voted me out in a past game and i voted him out" so BITCH the second he says this all sorts of bells and buzzers are going off in my head like spill the tea i need to know!! and what does he say?? it's CONNOR. BITCH cue the choir and let the angels descend from above because im in HEAVEN hearing this!!! there's 16 people left and while i really think we have a strong tribe to win challenges so we may never go to tribal, if we do ive already begun shoving connor so far under the bus there wont be any time for him to get up by the time he realizes what hit him. I'm giving you Miss Rosa in orange is the new black running over Vee REALNESS SWEETIE. VROOM VROOM WATCH OUT BECAUSE HERE I COME. My favorite quote of all time is: the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and that's absolutely what ive been playing up here whether i can actually trust these brawns or not is beside the point, because right now i know for a fact i cant trust connor, he's still lying to me telling me i was never a target, so i have no use or even want to play with someone who thinks im an idiot. On a tribe of 8 you only need 5, and i am absolutely not opposed to setting myself up to be in a position where im the swing vote, if i make sure the brawns feel like they need me, and same with the brains, then i should be essentially... ok? until a merge??? maybe unless everyone here is lying to me too, most likely because im not a good player so im probably being duped dfhkasj I've also been working hard to try and let people in on the narrative that the beautys have this majority alliance and are a threat, because i want to do as much as i can to put a target on their back and get them out, while also opening up to hopefully let people know they can trust me, and i want people to still think im weak so im also going for that pity card playing it up how no one over there would talk to me and saying how bad it was, i shouldve watched what i said though because i did foolishly let Ali know about the tomb and how to crack it, i didnt mean to and i wasnt thinking we were just having such a good convo and while i do like talking to him, i have no idea if i can trust him with that so great job at my dumbass for giving myself more competiion in the tomb .... i went back in tonight and ill be damned there's new questions so i SHOULDVE kept my lips shut and i couldve had it to myself, but whatever, at least if he finds it he remembers who led him there, i also dont want to rely on any idols or advantages, let's do this the old school way and get shit done, and get these people out of here, one false beauty at a time, until im the last one standing!! and aj... we still trust aj he can stay, but the rest they can go and then they can lemme know how that alliance works out for them.

Woooo! I made it to the swap!!! My swapped tribe is actually pretty cute bc it’s a lot of the people I really talked with during the chaos round. I am concerned about the 4-2-2 split we have being an issue, but I have to trust my new former relationships will at least make me not the first person targeted. I’m so relieved to be swapped with Jakey because Jordan and Ali are definitely scary players and having them on the other side with the potential of being voted out (and not having to do it myself later) is honestly good. Jakey is more of a MOTR player and someone who I actually enjoy talking to about game and non game stuff so I’m excited to hopefully position him as my number 1 in this game. With all THAT being said.... Devon and I have played before and I literally blindsided him while working with him so I’m worried about that. My other concern is that me and Amir go way back... I love Amir, I’m just nervous about his ability as a game player. I’m just praying that we can win some comps in the swap so I don’t need to address any of these issues fksmjsjsjs. Wish me luck America.

the way i'm going to be the last person in the challenge who determines the tiebreak... which could keep me safe but seal jakey's fate... god this is so upsettingggg

I meant to do this earlier, but quick recap on my thoughts on the tribe swap. First, I'm elated to see that I have a majority of the Brawn on this tribe. I have Jordan who I'm closely aligned with, and I have both Liam and Ali who I've been working with and have a good game relationship with. That's where my initial excitement ended. Because the Brains and Beauty who I talked to the most during the One World Day - Devon, Scott, Kendall, Augusto - all ended up on the other tribe rather with my closest ally in Jakey whereas I got two Beauty who I hadn't talked to and two Brain who, while I was optimistic about, were more concerning in terms of their thoughts about me. But I'm going back to that social game I've been working on and I truly think that this swap is going to work well for me. I think I've specifically been building some good relationships with Adam and Duncan that will help me not be the target if a Brain/Beauty coalition forms. But now I just need to see if I can get through this damn tomb and go from there.

Whew! It's been a few days since I made one of these and boy do I have a lot of tea to spill! So after voting out Devon, a twisto's twist comes into play where we all go to one world and vote someone back into the game. I lowkey had a feeling this would happen... Like I really spent all day getting the HIGHEST score in that immunity challenge only for Devon to get voted back in 15-0-0. Nothing really important happened here except that Austin did a shitty campaign job and Lovelis just.. disappeared. Like bruh, you really don't want to come back huh? And then we swap tribes and of course I'm stuck on Thoth AGAIN!! I've accepted that I'm cursed this time around because I... am tired of being here. But, Duncan and Autumn are on the other tribe so this gives me a good opportunity to not only rebuild my relationship with Devon, but to make new allies moving forward. Personally, I think I need to cut ties with Duncan and Autumn and find new life. I realize that they are much closer to each other than they are to me and I can't work with that long term. The way they approached Devon for his vote out really proved it too. When it comes to rebuilding my relationship with Devon, I'm not gonna lie it's much more difficult than I thought it would be. Like I basically told him that the reason why I voted him out was because he snitched on me to Duncan and told Duncan everything I said to him on our call. I basically said I was hurt by that because I trusted him and then he went behind my back like that and it wasn't cool. Especially since i was considering letting it go to a tiebreaker challenge too! So then he tried to phrase it as "I would never lie to you, I had your back all the way to the end" and I'm kinda just like... okay but your actions speaks louder than your words. And you taking the action to approach Duncan and tell him everything I said to you wasn't cool. However I made it very evident that Duncan/Autumn are much closer then we thought and i think he gets it. I've slowly come to realize that he's the perfect goat to take to the end because he really lacks at the relationship building portion of the game. However, I need to be able to trust my goats and right now I don't trust Devon. He told me about the idol as a sign of trust, however he hasn't found the blog yet. (backtrack, Duncan shared the blog with me so I've been idol hunting, and now I'm just telling people I had no idea when they ask me about it LOL). So I might tell Devon I found the combination, but at the same time do I want him to have the idol? Not at all! I'm happy that this swap brings me to a lot of people that I can potentially work with. I know that Duncan and Autumn originally wanted to work with beauty to take out brawn, so I'm really happy that I have 4 beauties on my tribe. Out of the beautes, I really like Augusto, Amir, and Kendall. AJ hasn't spoken to me at all tbh... like we barely talked. Kendall and I talk briefly but she told me straight up that her/Amir/Augusto were a trio and that definitely doesn't make me feel comfortable. I'm just like "okay, let's leave this thought in the back of my mind for later." But I've spent a lot of time talking to Amir and Augusto, and I can see myself working with them long term. Augusto and I called for like a whole hour and a half, which is beautiful that we got along well so quickly. I like how they both plan to keep their word and don't like to make fake promises. It shows that they're genuinely good people and I think they're my kind of crowd. So I definitely want to work with them through the merge. I also wouldn't mind going to the end with Augusto too (Amir already won so I don't want to make that promise to him LOL). When it comes to the brawn, I gel most with Jakey. I would go to consider him my new #1 right now. I don't think I ever had a #1 on old Thoth mainly because Duncan/Autumn were so close and Devon is just.... being Devon. Jakey told me about the idol stuff which is great! Personally, I already knew about the idol, but to pretend to be shocked by it and go forward with it was the best move for me. But Jakey and I seem to be the smartest and most focused people here, so I need that. He gets me and is on my level. I'm considering taking him to the end with me if it comes to that just because I want to be loyal this time around. That's why I'm happy than an alliance of Me/Jakey/Augusto/Amir/Kendall was made because I want to stick with this 5 all the way to the end. And I'm happy to already be in a majority alliance because it means I can potentially get to the merge. I just hope everyone knows that I'm with them and want to stay loyal to them going into the merge. Because I would love to be able to say that I'm 5/5 on making it to the merge. It'd be a shame to end my last tumblr season as a pre-merge boot. In terms of this vote since we lost the challenge AGAIN, I'm open to voting out either AJ, Devon, or Dan. I know people want to keep Devon around I'm happy with that. I'd hate to vote him out again after that last round, but also told people that I would do so if it meant that I would solidify trust with them in doing so. Which leaves us to Dan and AJ. I'm open to either of them going that round, mainly because I haven't spoken to either of them that much. I would perfer AJ just because he's a beauty and I'm skeptical about keeping all of the beauties around. At the same time, Dan can be a little aggressive so I also wouldn't mind getting rid of the negativity within the tribe. So many decision to make!! I just hope I make the right one.

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I take back everything I said about feeling good about the swap. No one is willing to talk about the vote with me so I guess that means it’s me??? I don’t know I’m just not feeling good and my gut is pretty good most of the time so we’ll have to see.... I just like don’t fuck with people who don’t wanna talk?? Like why play???

I am little fucked. Honestly if I was going to get voted out I would like it to be because of my #bigmoves or #smartbrain but nope it's cause of 2 minutes. And that's infuriating! Like I work my ass off in basically every other challenge! I drew the tribe flag, I took the lead on the word puzzle thingy, I got a reasonable number of scavenges!!!! And now I'm going to die. Like a lil bitch. I'm trying my best not to struggle cause voting is like quick sand, the more you panic the more you sink in. But logically I don't have much to worry about. Devon is willing to work with me, I already have two solid allies, and Jakey and Scott have both reached out. But the back of my mind is... bad. I'm so stressed out and Pissy. Fuck Dan. Fuck his stupid face. The only thing keeping me from throwing him out is I don't want people to have the perception that the beauty tribe is a unit. Oh yeah we are voting out AJ even though he probably has an idol which isn't great for me because he could probably get wind of that thing that's happening where people want to kill me and get on board and proceed to kill me. That was a mouthful but I don't have to be eloquent when I'm going to fucking dieeeeeeee. I'm barely holding it together. Help me Survivor Jesus.

Augusto, 1:02 PM K so Dan said that he heard AJ would be a unanimous vote didn’t tell me who but he said that that person could just be projecting what they want Daniel Disbrow go fuck yourself. Projecting my lily white ass.

Whew i love when things work out for me. This tribe swap went great for me. I feel very confident about my position on this tribe. I am good with Ali, Tj, and Liam all through seperate links to myself which im hoping can keep me as a centralized figure on this tribe. Ive formed a very good relationship with Adam so far who definitly feels on the outs of the beauty which is great. I thought i could be good with connor, but hes kind of been blowing me off so idk, he could be a target if we lose. As for the brains on my tribe Im talking more to duncan than autumn, but im gonna work on forming a stronger relationship with her on the chance were both at merge which i think is likely. I feel bad for Jakey and dan, two people I did want to work with, however I would be okay if they left as it would lesten the target on me at the merge with less brawn numbers and a larger beauty group to be scared of a group against. Sometimes you got to sacrafice pieces in chess and if they lose it sucks but ill move on. Im optimistic about moving forward through this next phase of the game.

wow i cant believe i almost DIDNT make a confessional for this round but here we go: not much more has happened over here since the swap, we absolutely did perfect in the immunity, so we wont be going to tribal, which is cool because im guaranteed safety and now i can just spend my time trying to work on these relationships that i need out here if im gonna make it a couple steps further and plot my revenge against the false beautys and make the moves that are gonna benefit ADAM and no one else. The original night of the swap i found myself having longer convos with the brawns and letting them all in on the tea about how those false beautys have a majority alliance and how they were plotting against me for no reason, so last night i was talking more so with autumn/duncan individually and they also asked about tribe dynamics so guess what, i spilled the tea to them now too, and they seemed to believe what i was saying, which granted, life on old hathor wasnt HORRIBLE it's not like people were like LETS JUST POINT AND LAUGH AT HIM ...but this new tribe dont know all that, so im absolutely going to be hyperbolizing and over-exaggerating the situation completely still because that's what i do best, i have a strong personality and a way with words so if i can paint the narrative to look better in my light, i absolutely am, and i mightve got lucky with connor here because other people are telling me he's hard to talk to, which makes it 10x easier for them to believe me, because i am still telling the truth, he's one of them, and he's clearly a snake lying right to my face so im making sure they know he'll lie to theirs too. i dont want to get to confident with my postion though whatsoever, because these are all good players and im just a dumb bitch so odds are, someone is playing me and i probably look like a fool but whatever, i only know as much as people will tell me so either way i just have to go with the flow in a sense, whether im the one steering the ship or just the clown aboard, is TBD. i also found it QUITE pleasing to see how for the other tribe, kendall is the one who messed up and cost them the win, however i know she's got her little puppets with those other false beautys so im not sure if theyll take her out. Looking at that tribe, id be happy with almost anyone going but the biggest plot twist of them all is ..... i think i want jakey to stay? me and him had a good talk at one world actually, i began planting seeds with both him AND kendall about each other so i might have inadvertently pinned them even more against each other, unless they put 2 and 2 together and realize i was kinda just telling them both what they wanted to hear, i didnt think id want to work with jakey this game but now that i know i cant work with those false beautys, i might need him to stick around and do damage to them over there for me but really, i dont give a shit who goes home from them, aj is the only one of the false beautys im not 100% against yet because he is my friend, and maybe we can still somehow work together from opposing sides to keep each other safe but who knows, and jakey staying would be good for me because he's a threat and potentially could be on my side again (unless he was just lying and wants me out BAD then uh... he can go but hopefully not because i need that group broken up more than i do him gone even if he is after me) im also trying out a new strategy ive never used before........ i made my skype icon a selfie of myself, now let me make it clear, i absolutely DO NOT think im that attractive, years of low self esteem have made that nearly impossible for me to believe, but im starting to feel myself a little!! i think i would give myself at least a 5/10, so its definitely a reach but im really just hoping by seeing the real me maybe that helps people wanna talk and open up to me more? either that or it will do the opposite and scare them away oop. but ive had good responses so far? i got a "whew", a "whoa", and a "oh my..." from different people so um... i think that's good dfhuakj??? at this point in the game, i have to identify my own strengths and weaknesses and go from there, because clearly im not meant to find the idol every time i go to the tomb i flop, im just not meant to be an idol queen, but i wont give up!!! im gonna try again later tonight and hopefully find it, or at least see for sure if someone else has found it and that's what you missed on akhmim! (from my very singular and most likely delusional perspective)

I love Amir and Augusto. Like not to sound like a sentimental little bitch but I would kill for them. I have been the worst these past couple of hours and here they are all supportive and shit. I talk a big game. Like I consistently declare my villainy and keep pushing for #bigmoves but I will literally cry like a baby if I had to ever do anything to them. So I've decided I won't. I still intend on winning, I'm just not going to do it with their blood on my hands.

Well...IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK! I was expecting to 'Slither' my way back in, but clearly didn't imagine myself coming back on a 15-0-0 vote. If you had asked me about who I felt GREAT about prior to the swap, I would have said Jake and Augusto, so it's nice to have them on Thoth with me. Going into the swap, here are the headlines: 1. Scott/I are back on the same tribe. He clearly doesn't trust me like he did before since I told Duncan about me knowing they were targeting me. Can we build that trust back? 2. OG Beauty vs the rest. For some reason, OG beauty is willing to vote out AJ and ease everyone's paranoia. We could have just as easily gotten rid of Dan, but whatever. 3. Alliance chats. I was told that Kendall/Amir/Augusto had an alliance chat, and it doesn't help that apparently Scott hosted Kendall early in her TS career. I need to make sure my connections stay strong enough moving forward

I finally learned the system to find the idol and it’s been found in the new tribe. I really hope Scott takes the time to find the Thoth idol. Firstly May I say the daddies are reborn with Devon being able to re-enter the game which is amazing! Unfortunately we got split up and now they face 4 beauties and 2 brawns on Thoth and autumn and I got to come be on Hathor. Adam spilled the tea about the Hathor 5 and its looking like Conor will be the first out if we end up at a tribal. I’m so happy to be off of Thoth. It was like a sinking ship and that tribe is cursed. On the flip side, for the first time this game, I DONT HAVE TO GO TO TRIBAL COUNCIL!!! YEEEHAW!!! I feel so grateful but also know if they lose 3 challenges then we’re losing Scott or Devon which would be horrible. I don’t know how comfortable I am with my position as it stands but I’m just grateful not to lose and probably feel most bad for Scott. I hope the daddies can survive this swap and perhaps make it back together come merge

I really haven’t said shit huh gfhjdksl WELL, tons happened last round like someone coming back into the game and me getting to meet everyone finally! Devon returning was the best case scenario as him and I created a really weird yet good bond which I’m thankful for! Autumn and I meshed so well, Duncan and I bonded quickly, I also bonded with Scott/Jakey/Dan, and then had good convos with TJ/Liam M/Jordan/Ali so that was cute. We ended up swapping into 2 tribes of 8 afterwards which wasn’t TOO bad especially considering who is on this tribe like I got crazy lucky. We have 4 Beauties, 2 Brain, and 2 Brawn on this tribe and the other tribe has 4 Brawn, 2 Brain, and 2 Beauties which is a thing. But yeah, I have really high hopes? My connections here are strong personally so I want to just build on that.

following the austin #blinside, we were BEANBOOZLED again and told that austin, as well as lovelis and devon would be pining for our votes to stay. all the tribes ended up on one beach but the initiative for the beauties was clear: austin could NOT come back. love him and all but after boldface lying to him and voting him out.. it just doesn't add up, right? so, the vote was really a matter of lovelis and devon, but then it just became of matter of "okay devon's coming back point blank" since lovelis wasn't really active. this didn't stop austin, however, from going around and throwing us under the bus, telling kendall her name was going around, outing the original plan to austin, all the while assuring us he was "beauties strong!" i respect the hustle but it ain't me! i decided not to lie to to him and told him upfront he wasn't getting my vote, little did i know it was going to be 15-0-0 for devon to come back. the perks of the one world twist was the fact i got to mingle with everyone i'd been excited to see from jordan pines to autumn! it was also a clear front for the fact that we'd be swapping right after, which we did! thankfully, the swap worked out for me perfectly. augusto, amir and kendall are all here with me and i got along with devon and jakey great! i also talked to scott and we bonded as well, and dan and i tried to recover from amnesia over a game we played a few years ago. i don't think i was put in a poor position at all, and in a must of confidence, i don't see myself going home like.. at all unless things change for the worse. the challenge came and went, and apparently one mistake cost it all but it didn't really matter to me because i have kendall's back and i know she has mine, so there was no chance i was gonna let her go over some two minute slip up. however, that was enough for dan to target her after we lost the challenge so the sexy procrastinators (basically leaning tower of penis bar connor) are counteracting by voting dan! do i feel bad because dan also asked if we could work together? hell yeah. do i feel REALLY bad? not really! he's a very nice gentleman, however, i'm pretty much on good terms with everyone on the tribe (and have solid allegiances with half of them) so i'm put into a rock and a hard place! i will say though, besides that, things have been really quiet compared to how things were on original hathor. there was always conversation going, even if it wasn't game, so it feels WEIRD when you're not talking to anyone within the hour. does that make me nervous? absolutely. am i assuming that there's an ulterior plot against me? more than i should! i just need to get myself together though and stop freaking out, what happens happens and if the that plot is indeed true then they got me gals!

i’m me having high hopes for our tribes and us losing badly… the delusion! That being said, I oddly feel safe? I have my trio with Amir and Kendall (where I have solid duos with both), a secret duo with Devon, Dan and I have this Seychelles thing going, AJ trusts me I think, and then I’ve connected well with Scott and Jakey on a personal level so that’s fun! I’ve been telling every non-Beauty that I do genuinely want to stray away from playing outside of tribal lines because alliances made out of convenience are not as strong as alliances made out of connection. I just want to pretend myself as a very fluid, easy-going player/person in hopes that these players want to scoop me up for literally anything they want to do. My ideal boot order for this tribe would be AJ, Dan, and Jakey. AJ leaving opens up the game for me as it means I stuck to my word as not wanting to play by tribal lines, Dan leaving is mostly to appease to others but also because Dan could be dangerous later on, and Jakey is who I REALLY want to see leave because he has been the main person who has gotten and spread info on this tribe and he strikes me as the most threatening person so removing that before a merge is KEY. But yeah, that’s where I am at!

I definitely need to step my pussy up in this game… like I feel extremely well about how I’m playing socially (I’ve been in tons of alliances, have gotten to really KNOW everyone I think, have been calling people for hours on end, have gotten information from all directions, etc) but I need to be better at talking game with people. Kendall and Amir have been doing extremely well about getting information out of Scott and Jakey respectively because they initialize game talk with them to do so and I personally struggle with that? I will say, I’ve been really good at getting people on my side to tell me things in the first place but I want EVERYONE to give me the tea like… I got my cup ready for all the tea so spill it please (‘:

I know I’ve done a super bad job at narrating everything that has happened this round but that being said, I haven’t done a bad job this round in the slightest. A sis really 1) established a connection with every player on my tribe [as in, I have an alliance with every single person in some capacity] 2) I am a part of the majority alliance 3) the people on the “bottom” feel good about me and have told me things 4) I’ve gotten close to getting to the end of Thoth’s Tomb which is awesome 5) I feel safe amid some messes this round [like Kendall telling Scott about her, Amir, and I being a trio which nnn] 6) I’ve honestly tried to downplay my gameplay to people by narrating my past seasons to people on call and explaining how I’ve been betrayed by my closest allies so I want something genuine and different this time AND also continuously asking my allies for “help” on talking to others to build even more trust [Amir told me he’s glad I’m in this game because I’m the only level headed one, Devon told me he trusts my judgements on anything, etc]... so yeah, a bitch might be doing that?

Sooooo I think AJ is going tonight? Which is fine because he’s throwing my name around even though I actually was interested in working with him lmao. I was hoping Kendall would go because she literally does not talk, but I’ll take what I can get. Jokes on me when I get blindsided

jakey just told me he's voting for me.. so yes i'm freaking out and yes i'm convinced i'm going home you CANNOT tell me otherwise https://66.media.tumblr.com/376a5e921389df0e5d37a54da9734e04/ebea8f0b6df920b0-57/s640x960/e1f351d79a9ea08058418a032c97026926156df5.gif

kendall and augusto sat me down on call and basically told me it was over https://66.media.tumblr.com/376a5e921389df0e5d37a54da9734e04/ebea8f0b6df920b0-57/s640x960/e1f351d79a9ea08058418a032c97026926156df5.gif

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I hate everyone lmao. I initially started saying we should vote Ken Doll, or whatever her name is, before I knew AJ was throwing my name around. And of course someone threw a vote on Kendall, and now I have Ken Doll in my PMs being like “ballsy how you still voted for me” that’s funny sis, I don’t even know how to spell your name.

Not me almost putting Thoth on the tribe option lmaaaaooo old habits die hard. I would just like to take this time to thank the Academy, the hosts for swapping me well and allowing me to succeed in a way I never could in Thoth, and my new tribe for being both wise enough to listen to me when I come up with a plan and solid enough to deliver. Being immune? It's a lifestyle and I really missed it Ok so things are going well on Hathor (knock on wood)? I've talked to everyone, we're in a good spot, and I'm not worried about anyone.... but I am nervous but we'll come back to that. I feel fantastic about Ali- this is our third time playing together and every time we see each other we just pick up right where we left off, both as friends and allies. But it's really special this time around since we've both won a main? So we're in a unique boat that no one else in the cast is except Amir. Basically now we have each other's backs more than ever because our stakes look different as well as our threat levels compared to everyone else. I also discovered that TJ and I went to the same fucking COLLEGE??? When I say I'm gagged ugh. So yeah I think there's a new level of trust and kinship there since we share something so major that's not game related. And I think both of us are kind of alone? So that helps bridge the gap even more Ok now for all the other menses.... I have always been nervous about Jordan Pines simply because he's Jordan Pines. I know how I am and I know how he is so him being so tame and quiet the entire game is spooky to me and I don't buy it. I'm trying not to start shit obviously but I think it would be risky to wait until Jordan goes full Jordan before making a move but we'll leave it for now. Iiiiiii am no longer sure what to make of Adam and Connor. I actually really liked both of them the past couple days and was considering working with them but it has come to my attention that Adam has been telling everyone the same story about him being on the bottom of the original Hathor and that everyone needs to get rid of Connor since he's apart of that block. When I thought I was the only person with the tea, I was like YEAH ABSOLUTELY but then hours later Duncan tells me the same thing and then today Ali not only tells me that's what Adam said but apparently he said it to Liam as well. So I'm like SIR- tea is only special when it's private. You trying to get the entire tribe to rally to kill one specific person based on something that none of us can fact check is messssyyyy. I know there's some truth to it because Austin also was very adamant that Hathor couldn't be trusted but the whole thing is convenient to me, that Adam is hellbent on getting Connor out and really playing up the victim angle. And the gag is, if Connor ever goes, where does that leave Adam? Cause if you're willing to campaign this early over something that specific, what will you do to target the rest of us? Like ok we're all comparing notes now but that's cause it's pre-merge. Iiiiiii don't know if Adam needs to make it to merge if he's so generous with his spiked tea. And then that leaves Duncan, who is my dad yes and who I've been with the whole game but I'm really trying to diversify and look elsewhere. I don't wanna hurt Duncan but I do get this impression that he sees this as "our" game and that's why he's very keen to know who I'm talking to, who I trust, am I looking for the idol, do I need any help, etc. To the point where I feel like it's gonna become a liability situation, like because we're friends I'm SUPPOSED to both protect him every single round but also approve everything by him and take him to the end. And just so we're clear my game is mine and mine alone. I didn't come into this game to play for or with anyone and y'all know I have too much Sagittarius in my chart to let a man control my game. And no I'm not reaching because Duncan was tripping about me having a good relationship with Devon, to the point where he and Scott made a side group with Devon before tribal to convince Devon to vote me- mind you all of this came to my attention AFTER tribal and from Devon, even though it was Scott and Duncan's idea to vote Devon in the first place. Soooo explain to me why Duncan is questioning my loyalty when I'm voting out another ally over him and then you wanna go do side shit even though the vote was locked and already unanimous?? No ma'am I'll fuck you up. I really killed my bb to protect my dad and he over here trying to micromanage and teach me lessons. Sir there's plenty of game left don't try it. ALSO DEVON BB I MISS YOU YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT SCUNCAN SO PLEASE DON'T DIE ON THOTH

Okay I literally don’t even know where to start with this entire round, so ughhhh lets just make lil blurbs and word vomit all the thoughts in my head. Okay first, alliances. Me kendall Augusto. I trust these 2 more than anyone else in the game, but Kendall is a mess and a half and has accidentally leaked so much shit or purposely idek I know it’s not malicious, she’s super loyal she’s just silly. She told Scott that me her and Augusto were a trio, which like why tf would u do that ??? anyway, Scott told jakey who told me. Next is me aj kendall Augusto which is a cover up to tell aj to vote dan because the actual vote is aj, but no one wants aj to use his idol. Everyone on our tribe is like sure aj has the idol now, and I’m trying push that too, because I have it lmfao and I don’t want people to know I have it. Next is the new main alliance, me kendall Augusto Scott and jakey. I DONT KNOW ABOUT THIS AT ALLLLLLLLLL, everyone wants to vote aj out, and I’m telling Augusto and Kendall, like y’all realize we are giving them the opportunity to 4-3 us next round? And kill the beauties ?? Like how is that smart ?? But at the same time, getting rid aj could cement Scottie and jakey. It just depends if they try and make a move against me Augusto and Kendall next round if they think we are a trio. However, me and Augusto have planned beyond such and in that case, I have ammo. Let’s check the armoury: - Augusto is insanely tight with Devon now, we can use him as a weapon - jakey ratted on dan to Kendall and ratted on the majority alliance, we can turn dan against jakey. So if Scott and jakey think of pulling a fast one on us, I’ll tank their games so fast and make sure they go down with us . Lastly , I’m fucking terrified. Because with this vote, if jakey Scott Devon and dan team up and vote me just to do it, I’m going to go home 4-3-1. I’m putting my faith in this alliance and my gut is telling me to trust jakey and trust Kendall and trust Augusto. Basically, there’s huge pros and cons to what we are doing right now. However, assessing the situation, if I put my foot down hard and force all 4 beauties to stick together, it’s a bad move for my game . Jakey will be mad, Scottie won’t trust us, and I’d be forcing Kendall and Augusto to do what they don’t want to do, and aj is an ally who is almost never online. It’s simply not worth it. The better move is let aj go, create these bonds and take these risks, and secure that I won’t get caught about the idol And then merge is a whole other fucking story, Ali and autumn and Duncan and Jordan must be dealt with.

Nothing is chaotic. This is weird. I don't feel in danger anymore and could clearly get away with making the merge. Connor has left me on seen once already and I've voted him out before. Target numero uno, come on down!

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