#i wanted to say it for like.. 2 weeks now... but idk
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carcingeneticist · 3 days ago
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am I insane enough to answer all of this? possibly, anyway!
1. It was few years ago in 1st grade of highschool
2. I used to have an motivation to join fandoms that were conciderd cringe or were weird in some way
3. Yes I was in Undertale fandom before so I heard they have refrences to each other. Also I knew it from some infamous events from fandom
4. idk it's hard to say. I love this series and all and I love it's characters and analysing it but overall I'm not sure?
5. Well honestly yeah. It got me into thinking that everything we do might just be pre-planned and we can't do anything about it, which is my main philosophy I'm currently going with. So in some way it kinda influenced my spiritual believe (which is kinda insane ik).
6. Probably reading it for first time. I sometimes want to go back to this timeframe when during summer I've done nothing but just read Homestuck whole day, not knowing things ik about now.
7. OKAY SO HERE'S FUN BACKSTORY THAT HAPPENED THIS YEAR; I was waiting for a class on corridor when suddenly I hear someone talking about "something doing Karkat cosplay" AND I WAS SO TAKEN ABACK BY THIS FACT BECAUSE HOMESTUCK IN YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024???? I didn't had time to catch up with them and instead as any sane person about something which I'm totally am about Homestuck, I made ig story about hearing someone talking about Homestuck and Karkat specifically (and that I'm only one who can cosplay him jk). and it turned out that one of my mutals from school actually knows this person and I thought oh shit that's kinda embarrassing... but like nothing really happened for a while UNTIL WEEK LATER where I wait on same corridor for same class when I see a paper note on one of locker that strangely seem to reassemble Karkat drawing. I thought 'oh shit is that for me?' so I go up there and OH SHIT THAT WAS FOR ME; there was my name on it (although it's more important f my ig handle but yk) and there was infact Karkat drawn there. So I take this note and not only they drew Karkat and Nepeta BUT THEY ALSO MADE A TROLL SONA FOR ME WHICH WAS SO FUCKING WHOLESOME. so I contacted them later through ig and we talked for some time and bonded over our hatred for Vriska lol. anyway I actually met them for first time today (the day I'm typing it) and they are really coo, I showed them where the artist with Homestuck merch was :33
8. I READ IT FULL 2 TIMES!! (well second one was let's read Homestuck but still lol) but it took a while to read it for first time, I remember that for like 3 weeks of summer I were doing nothing but reading Homestuck.
9. KARKAT, KARKAT AND ONCE AGAIN KARKAT. MY BIGGEST KIN AND BLORBO I LOVE THIS GUY TO DEATH
10. Cal. just cal.
11. probably Gamzee but that's a common take i fear
12. common opinion number 2: Dave (but all of beta kids are great and I love them)
13. common opinion number 3: Dirk, but honestly he and Roxy fight in my head for this spot bcs I love them both sm (I actually love all Alpha kids as a group, they have such a great dynamic)
14. common opinion number 4: Karkat obv
15. Porrim is only dancestor I like.
16. Sufferer definitely, I love Jesus analogy with him and Karkat (but I fucking hate kankri).
17. honestly probably John's dad in beta timeline since he was only one who actually cared about his kid, but if we count alpha Dave then him
18. MAYOR. Common opinion number 5
19. Calliope she's honestly such a sweetheart
20: FEFETA JUSTICE!!! >:(( but I also love davepeta^2
21: Idk really!!! I think like I would get along with most characters (except the ones I don't like) but maybe like Roxy or Dirk? or overall Alpha kids actually lol. Also Nepeta would be really fun as a friend!!!
23: I think Terezis one; I love Karkat's because I would actually use that one irl but Terezi's quirk is not only fitting her but also creative in a way you could still read that. also >:?
24: Cronus because it's just Eridans quirk but worse
25: "ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN, THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING"
26. Dirk: Unite Synchronization
27: Heir of Grief easily, my Spotify stat shows that
28: I've been recently constantly listening Sweet - Trickster!Jane song by Phemedic!!! i love how it shows the sugar high as if it was real drugs and it's both sweet but creepy
29. Moonlight Tsundere/ I'm still here/ Calignous Waltz (there's a lot of good ones okay???)
30: One for the money by ikimaru (BUT THERE'S SO MANY GOOD ONES IT'S SO HARD TO CHOOSE ONE AUGHH)
31: I don't rly have one ://
32: YES!!! Okay so I thought about this a lot but 30/90 from Tick tick boom is literally about John/Karkat's birthday
33: Love in time of Juggalos by sburbanite - I CAN'T RECOMMEND THIS FANFIC ENOUGH, PLEASE IF YOU LIKE DAVEKAT AND REINCARNATION AU'S THIS IS LITERALLY BEST THING EVER PLEASE READ IT.
34: IKIMARU, IKIMARU AND ONCE AGAIN IKIMARU, I know they aren't in Homestuck fandom anymore and that's valid but their Homestuck art is so good, it's the most accurate depiction of characters I ever saw I swear. I love their art sm and their artstyle feels so comfy.
35: BET!! So Let's say Davekat would be more of out of quadrant relationship because obv, so then Aradia <3 Sollux, Roxy <> Dirk, John <3< Terezi (only potential healthy kismetitude we were shown) and Karkat o8< Jade o3< Karkat (this is stupidest shit ever and I love it)
36: A few but the one in my mind that stuck in the most is (obv) Karkat goes to convention
37: I spent some time of my life watching analysis videos of Homestuck characters so yeah obv
38. based on the adding your month to date of birth it would be Vriska and honestly no. Just no.
39. Karkat............. And Dirk (who said that??)
40: I DID KARKAT FEW TIMES (I did him yesterday from time of writing this) but I also want to do in future: Dirk, Dave, Gamzee, John and probably more
41: I would want to be derse but sadly I'm too prospit....
42: I hate both but between two bads i would choose meat
43: Fuck felt, make me a member of the midnight crew
44. RARE OPINION I THINK?? But alpha!!!
45. Red because of course
46. Canon, I'm sorry but i'm lore kind of Homestuck reader
47. Knight of heart!!! apparently it's popular classpect but I chose it for myself so it's mine
48. Knights outfit is honestly one of better god tiers designs ( - condom hood) and heart color palette is also one of nicer tho if I could I would change pants and boots.
49. ohh that's actually really interesting! my Homestuck sona color is red and I think it would be same for me (or it could be also hot pink honestly) and for quirk I'm pretty sure it would be same as I type casually (a lot of abbreviation, using mostly lower case and using u instead of you.) but I could also totally go Karkat typing mode.
50: Again same as my sona's; a scythe (or maybe like a kitchen knife)
51: I DON'T HAVE ONE YET!!!! OKAY BUT I CAN THINK OF SOMETHING QUICKLY; CascaderGame? that's stupid but whatever I said I'm just thinking of it as I'm typing.
52: Okay so my first one is definitely Dirk and Nepeta (I just think they would get along great!) also on that note; Karkat and Dirk since I think they would have really fun dynamic. Also John & Karkat since we waited on that for so long. and more interactions between Alpha and Beta kids!!!!
53: As I said earlier yes!!! I have kid Sona Ryan :DD
54: YESS!!! I'm currently in middle of making a whole session with my fantrolls and kids!!!
55: well yes as I said earlier lol
56: Do you mean as in I immediately think of Homestuck or my fav one? the one I almost always think about Homestuck is Zodiac; for me it doesn't exist anymore as just a concept, it's only Homestuck. Also typing quirks are very THE Homestuck refrence.
57: Probably some plushie in my room, I think throwing in my Rainbow dash plushie could be fun
58: I WOULD ABSOLUTELY, GIVE ME THE COPY RN
59: YES!!!! ABSOLUTELY I'M WINNING THIS SHIT.
60: Mostly fragments of it since I don't really care that much ://
61: again just fragments
62: Yep!
63: Yep!
64: I started playing it but honestly got bored since I don't really care all that much about Hiveswap characters :// (sorry!!)
65: yep
66: Actually no and I don't really care about it.
67: no and I also don't care
68: YESS!!! AND I LOVE IT SM!!!
69: nope
70: YES AND I THINK THERE'S FEW!!! So first of all definitely the plot since it's a common knowledge a lot of fans have problems with understanding it first read (but I understood it completely first read!!!! >:)) and second the characters and dynamics between them (because some of you are really missing a lot of points in them.............)
71: I would love to know more about earth C if it wasn't such a pile of hot garbage. Also the lives of alpha Dave and Rose, and Beta trolls on Beforus (I ACTUALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW THIS ONE, LIKE PLEASE.)
72: I love how creative it can get and how insane it sometime is!!! I love seeing the fanarts and fanfics written by us (especially if the description of fanfic is just insane and it ends up being golden). Also I love all the other works like fansongs, animatics, fancomics, lyricstuck ect!!!! everything you create is great!!!!
73: I don't like some treatment of certain characters in fandom :// also i don't like how a lot of people are easy to just hate on certain ships (like Davekat was recently very hated on). I absolutely understand not liking all ships because I also have a lot of ships I dislike but there's no reason to publically hate? like at least do it privately ig
74: I forced my one friend to read it, so yes :33
75: I HAVE SOME STICKERS AND PINS I GOT AT CON FROM ARTIST ALLEY!!!! (ALSO MY KARKAT PLUSH IS INCOMING SO I'M WAITING FOR HIM >:334
76: ......*inhale* JANE DID NOTHING WRONG IN HOMESTUCK ABD THEY HAD NO RIGHT TURNING HER FASCIST AND RACIST IN EPILOGUES. I LOVE JANE AND I WILL ALWAYS DEFEND HER!!!!!!! MY JANE IS NOT A FASCIST!!!!!!
77: I said my popular opinions before lol
78: I HATE MOST OF DANCESTORS, I DON'T THINK THEY SHOULD EXIST AND BRING SOMETHING TO THE PLOT, AND ARANEA BIT WAS A FUCKING JOKE
79: oh god just one thing........ uhh Karkat and Sollux were moirails on Alternia up to the Murderstuck. there. (or I would make bro into fanon version of him because I fucking lol him)
80: JANE BEING FUCKING FASICT IN EPILOGUES.
81: I was recently watching con-air (yes because of Homestuck lol) and it reminded me of all scenes were John was roleplaying this movie and I think they were very funny lol
82: Vriska has such a great fucking design, I'm so sad she's such a 8itch. Also a lot of dancestors has cool designs
83: Maybe Aradia? since I started liking her after she god tiered. but besides that I don't think so, I liked most characters from beginning (or from beginning hated them)
84: There's few that are kinda under the rule: we were shown in canon they wouldn't work, but the biggest offender for that for me is Karkat x Nepeta... Because Karkat said canonically he wouldn't want to date her and shipping them together feels weird for me :// ig I feel similar way about Karezi. Also Rose or Kanaya with any men.
85: I'm not really a fan of neither if I'm honest lol. I prefer ships that have sense canon wise
86: On earth C the main cast is treated like gods and they can walk in into and restaurant or shop they want and get everything for free, because they are gods, who's going to tell them to pay money? (my favorite kind of hcs is just ignoring epilogues and creating my own earth C LMAO)
87: All of the let's read Homestuck voices are canon to me actually (well the first ones because they changed some of the voices later and they don't fit that well ://)
88: Intermission. Okay let me tell you something to intermission fans who tell you, you have to read it to be real Homestuck fan, no tf you don't. You can skip entire intermission and loose nothing.
89: I made few arts and I wrote some fics (but I have plans for a longer ones!!!)
90: OFC!!! I'm even celebration 612 and 11/11!!! (which is really soon so HAPPY 11/11!!!!!!)
91: Only Karkat's and John's/Jane's (Rest of kids have really weird birthdays tho, like why don't they get their special date and instead they are stacked on top of each other?)
92: I think the og hussies one when they are blobs without necks, I think it looks really silly and fun
93: MAKES TEREZI LOCO, SHE WANTS TO KNOW THE SECRETS THAT SHE CAN'T TASTE IN MY PHOTO. DYING JUST TO KNOW THE FLAVOUR, I AIN'T DOING HER NO FAVOR-
94: yes dead media from 2012 Tumblr XDD no but srs I think it did because I really crave media similar to Homestuck
95: I can't explain it well but I think south park? mostly probably because of kid focus and a lot of pop culture refrences (or a space that feels very closed of, especially in first seasons of South Park)
96: Because I have freeze reaction everytime I see something I could connect slightly to Homestuck (I can connect everything to Homestuck, I'm master at that)
97: when they are a loser stuck at home
98: Liblo sign of inescapable but I don't really relate to being a Libra so I prefer to think I'm Canlo sign of the thespian (even the description fits me more!!!!)
99: none
100: I'm heart bound, of course it will!!!! It's actually in top of my interests and definitely one of my favorite things!!!! :333
wow I'm finally done with this
Ultimate Homestuck ask game! (100 questions)
1. When did you start reading Homestuck?
2. What made you want to check it out?
3. Had you heard about Homestuck prior to reading it?
4. What does Homestuck mean to you?
5. Has Homestuck influenced you in any way?
6. What's your fondest Homestuck memory?
7. Have you meet friends through Homestuck?
8. How long did it take you to read Homestuck? Have you read it in its entirety?
9. Fave character? (overall)
10. Least fave character? (overall)
11. Fave "problematic" character?
12.  Fave beta kid?
13. Fave alpha kid?
14. Fave beta troll?
15. Fave dancestor?
16. Fave ancestor?
17. Fave guardian?
18. Fave carapacian?
19. Fave cherub?
20. Fave sprite?
21. A character you'd be friends with?
22. A character you wouldn't be friends with?
23. Fave quirk?
24. Least fave quirk?
25. Fave pesterlog?
26. Fave flash?
27. Fave song/songs?
28. Fave fan song?
29. Fave Broadway Homestuck song?
30. Fave lyricstuck?
31. Fave Homestuck AU?
32. Are there any non Homestuck songs that make you think about Homestuck?
33. Fave fanfic?
34. Fave Homestuck writer/fan artist?
35. Fave ship? (alternatively: fave ship in each quadrant?)
36. Have you read any fan adventures?
37. Have you watched any Homestuck video essays?
38. Who's your patron troll? And do you identify with them in any way?
39. What characters are most like you?
40. If you do cosplay, which Homestuck characters have you done or would like to do?
41. Prospit or Derse?
42. Meat or Candy?
43.  The Felt or The Midnight Crew?
44. Beta kids or alpha kids?
45. Red team or Blue team?
46. Canon or fanon?
47. What's your classpect?
48. Do you like your god tier or would you modify it to better suit your taste?
49. If you were in Homestuck, what would your color and typing quirk be?
50. Your strife specibus?
51. If you have one, what's your chumhandle?
52. What character interactions would you have liked to see/see more of?
53. Do you have a kidsona or trollsona?
54. Have you ever made fan kids or fan trolls?
55. Do you have any Homestuck OCs?
56. What's THE Homestuck reference for you?
57. Quick! You gotta prototype your kernel sprite, what are you dropping in there?
58. Would you play SBURB?
59. Do you think you'd win SBURB?
60. Have you read The Epilogues?
61. Have you read/are you reading Homestuck^2?
62. Have you played Pesterquest?
63. Have you played Hiveswap?
64. Have you played Friendsim?
65. Have you read the Intermission?
66. Have you read Problem Sleuth?
67. Have you read Jailbreak?
68. Have you read Paradox Space?
69. Have you read any of Hussie's other works?
70. What's an aspect of Homestuck you feel you know more about than the average Homestuck fan?
71. What's an aspect of Homestuck you'd like to know more about?
72. What's something you like about the fandom?
73. What's something you dislike about the fandom?
74.  Would you recommend Homestuck to new readers/friends?
75. Do you have any Homestuck memorabilia/merch? (official or not?)
76. A hot take or hill you'd gladly die on?
77. What are your popular opinions?
78. What are your unpopular opinions?
79. If you could canonize one thing and one thing only, what would it be?
80. If you could uncanonize one thing and one thing only, what would it be?
81. Are there any panels you particularly remember or enjoy?
82. Is there any character you like aesthetically, but not personality wise?
83. Is there any character who's grown on you over time?
84. Is there a ship you don't particularly like/straight up hate?
85. Do you have any crackships or rare ships?
86. Any headcanons you'd like to share?
87. Do you have any voice claims for the cast?
88. Did you find any part of Homestuck boring?
89. If you're a creative, do you have any Homestuck related projects?
90. Do you celebrate 413?
91. Do you remember the characters' birthdays?
92. What's your favourite art style within Homestuck?
93.  Karkalicious definition?
94.  Has Homestuck influenced what you look for in fiction?
95. What's a non Homestuck thing that you think has strong Homestuck vibes?
96. Others could clock you as Homestuck fan because [blank].
97. You recognise fellow Homestuck fans because [blank].
98. What's your extended zodiac sign?
99. How normal are you about Homestuck?
100. Will Homestuck stay somewhere inside you forever and ever wherever you go?
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zorkaya-moved · 2 years ago
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this is something I've been thinking about on my own these days, it's just smth I noticed with myself when I get a bit too nervous and I feel like I'm not interesting and then I try to overcompensate by seemingly pushing ideas out (thanks anxiety) so... please, if my plots / asks / starters aren't to your liking & you want to do smth different - tell me. it's totally alright. I prefer when people are honest with me. I can get very intense or rambly, so never be afraid to correct me or ask for something different! I can't read minds and I just want to make our interactions fun and not stressful! :D
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deoidesign · 4 months ago
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Doing master studies the only way I know how: Stealing them and making them my guys.
(Barberini Faun)
(The Fallen Angel - Alexandre Cabanel)
(Covent Garden - William Bruce Ellis Rankin)
#obviously. not actually theft...#i was gonna say these are public domain but covent garden actually isnt yet#it will be. in two years.#thats the most different one though like i added a whole new guy..#maybe not the most different. barberini faun is pretty different i just took the post#pose#its barely even a study. thats not true#but. what was i saying.#oh its not theft it's study... the purpose is to learn!!! but also. if im gonna spend like 2 days on something...#its GONNA be my guys#otherwise. idk. i only want to spend 30 or so minutes per study#just to get the notes down and the practice for the skill im working on#i dont get all that much more out of completely rendering a master study. PERSONALLY.#at least definitely not enough to be worth taking 100x longer#but making them my characters makes it worth going all the way!!!#plus it's good practice w like. not just going 1:1 but actually genuinely interpreting whats there so i can manipulate it...#again. personally. this is just how i worm#WORK#youd better worm bitch#uhm... anyways yeah. ive done lots of study but why TF share it LMAO i dont even save it#its just to learn. ive got 1 million other drawings to save and look at later.#once the learning is done it's done its job and i have no need anymore#this is why the only studies i have are from school. i had to save and upload them#well. ok also i dont study as much now BUT in my defense im a full time artist#an hour or so a week is different ok im learning while working too.. i learned how to learn and i do it all the time now#master studies#digital art#my art#illustration#my ocs
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heph · 10 months ago
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Could you draw more of fat Gale?
Heya! Thank you so much! I'm not going to lie to all of you though, I am swamped with projects and commission work and I only have these nice little posts to post when I'm not working on those 🛌
Know that in my heart all I want to do is sit down and draw chubby Gale all day every day, and expect it sometime in the future, but I really don't have the time at the moment and I'm sorry 😔
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 days ago
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...
#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
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rapidhighway · 3 months ago
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also picking raspberries turned out to be.. really fucking hard
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k
There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead. 
Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this. 
He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs.  Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!
Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair. 
Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.
He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.
His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?" 
Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–
The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs. 
One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles. 
There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him. 
"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"
Oh. Yes. That. 
It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.
Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to. 
Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly. 
Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.
Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor. 
Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step. 
Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-
Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's. 
He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.
Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before. 
Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray. 
He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further. 
Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs,  "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"
Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of! 
But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons. 
#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art.#me like two weeks later: hey guys :)#this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod#not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright???#but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling....#maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing!#anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE)#see this is why im not cut out for writing fic#its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts#if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5#anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness.#well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage#but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future#but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning?#also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv#mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all#hmm now how does one go about tagging fic#vettonso#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1#formula 1#martian#sebmark#also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed#hahaha! it is art to me!:#catie.art.#boy king au
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cryolyst · 4 months ago
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#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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talkorsomething · 5 months ago
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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fluxweeed · 6 months ago
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hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.
if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!
awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.
idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH 💛
ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!
#tumblr tag essay time? tumblr tag essay time#why can't i do this in the main body of a post u ask? pure obnoxiousness ig idk#scarier when it's not greyed out and in a little whisper innit#1) anon i love and appreciate you + your kind words so so much but i rly cannot stress enough that literally nobody here is a big deal 😭#like i know u don't mean it in That Way but even so!!!#this is a hill i could write another 1k words about before i die on it again but i will spare u 😅#2) ur also v v kind to say the thing abt my presence in fandom#but unfortunately i'm coming to terms with the fact that my presence in fandom is v much on the sidelines#a non-presence#i'm embracing my role as the crotchety old hag who does not attend the functions#i have a hut in the woods and u can find me there (here in tumblr tags) muttering to myself#occasionally i'll wander into the town square (ao3) and present an unnerving thing i made from mud and twigs (a fic) and then i'll fuck off#that's about all i can handle in terms of group settings i think 😅#but the door to my hut (my DMs) is always open if u want to stop by!#3) i can't even begin to acknowledge all the nice things u said about my fics kjhsdf you are truly too generous 😭#let me smother YOU with love!!! cmere!!!#4) this is the second nice anon message i've had in the last couple weeks which is !!!!#anon(s) i'm kissing you wherever u consent to be kissed!!!#but ofc now i'm paranoid ppl will think i'm sending these to myself skdljf#can't stress enough how open my DMs are on here/twt/discord if ever u wanna chat in a way that i don't have to post publicly to reply to 😅#5) i'm soooo sorry about these tags#could have just said “thanks!” couldn't i#please put me right in the bin#anyway sorry again thank you again ilu very much ❤️
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isa-ah · 5 months ago
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gunna be real my mother in law crossed some lines today that i dont even know how to come back from. how do i make 10k in the next 6 months to pack up and leave actually though.
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doodlboy · 1 year ago
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Hey question 4 autistic/adhd/ppl who didn't socialize much as a child, do y'all have ppl say shit like "can't you talk about anything besides yourself?"/"you're really selfish/self centered" to you??
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Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.
Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?
Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.
Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.
#source: me#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#tw: drug mention#tw: drugs#i used to be so small when all i did was heroin and ketamine. since i started drinking (i only started drinking every night because the-#-opiate withdrawal was so fucking bad alcohol was the only thing that kept my legs from kicking all night long and my skin from feeling-#-like it was on cold wet fire somehow)#anyway. when all i did was opiates ™ i was like 45 kg and i’m 165 aka 5’5 like i looked like a sickly model#now it’s only been a month drinking and not doing morphine or some shit and i already gained 12 kg it’s insane i’m like almost 60 kg now#i’m queueing this for a month from now so hopefully it’ll have been 2 months when this gets posted#and like i say i’m an alcoholic cause i don’t think it’s normal to drink like 5 nights a week but i’m not chemically dependent on it like i-#-was with opiates like i’m sober half the time. ive never done surgery while drunk for instance. there was this one time i had just had 4-#-shots in the bathroom in secret cause i was having a panic attack and didn’t know what else to do but anyway.#and they asked me if i wanted to close up on a tubal ligation and i passed on the opportunity even though i was Fine bc idk i just didn’t-#-feel good ab it. which is more than i can say for my professor tbh#like some other medical intern said ‘wow it must be so hard having to be On Call 24/7. like i bet u can’t even drink’#and he said ‘oh come on surgeons have lives too. in fact i drank more than a few beers just a few hours ago lol’ and proceeded to cut-#-someone open#anyway. yeah. i don’t get drunk at work yk#felt like i had to make that clear
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mifhortunach · 8 months ago
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risingsunresistance · 8 months ago
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damn i kinda dont like it here anymore
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pink-vulpix · 3 months ago
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#day 4 on bupropion#i need to vent. bc today was mostly decent. cause at least i could control my emotions and not cry at every little thing#but ended just as badly as i was feeling yesterday. i feel rly sad rn#when im productive i feel great but when im trying to relax? i feel like i need to find something productive to do immediately.#its like i need to do everything but i have no desire to do anything#im like. lying in bed at 2 am grieving my hyperfixations hard. been crying for the past 3 hours#bc i just cant sit down and enjoy anything without feeling like im forcing myself. and i already miss feeling things when i play video game#idk if i can do the 4-6 weeks of this before side effects normalize. everyone says it gets better#and even that is making me feel guilty bc it took me this long to get help and i already want to quit on my first week#i have an appointment with my dr on friday but fuck. the last 3 nights have felt like weeks. its so hard falling asleep.#it really doesn't help that this med is making me. stupid. i have about 10 seconds worth of memory before the thought is deleted#literally forgetting what i'm talking about midway through a sentence#but hey. at least my memory is so bad i cant remember what i did today and overthink every action. i guess.#and maybe tmi. but my libido is gone... like completely nonexistent now#some people literally take this shit to help w a low libido!!! but for me it is doing the exact opposite!!! what is wrong with my body#and to top it off i can't drink even a half cup of coffee without panic attacks. i miss iced coffee already :(#cant enjoy shit anymore and my adhd feels 10 times worse than it did before bc i can't sit still to save my life.#anyway im yapping so much but i need to because im feeling so alone#some side affects im getting r common and manageable but some are pretty uncommon and its hard finding anyone who relates...
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