#i wanted to run in our local(?) marathon

[paintedpineleaf]

i like how my parents don't let me have anything until i give up on it then they push it towards me telling me it was something i wanted and i agree but i don't want it anymore and this happens with literally everything i want. i wish i had the money to rebel and didn't have to ask for everything.

[fatecantstopme]

Unattached Drifter Christmas

Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader

Summary: Dean decides he’d rather spend Valentine’s Day curled up on the couch with you.

Warnings: Cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, unprotected sex (P in V), oral (M & F receiving)

A/N: in honor of Valentine’s Day, I gift you an adorable Dean Winchester fluffy smutty delight. 💜

"What are your plans, Sammy?" you asked from your perch on the kitchen counter.

"I happen to have a date," he replied with a smirk.

"Oooo with whom?"

"Just a nice local girl I met at the library last week."

"Sam Winchester and the nice local girl...sounds like a book I'd read," you teased.

He rolled his eyes and threw a dish towel at you. "What about you?"

"I have an excellent night planned," you confirmed. "Since Dean will be out cruising for ladies to go home with, I figured I could steal the Dean Cave for the night. I'm ordering a pizza, watching scary movies, eating a shit ton of junk food, and washing it all down with a bottle of wine."

Sam laughed. "Now that sounds like a party."

"Someone say 'party'?" Dean asked as he entered the kitchen.

"We were just discussing our Valentine's Day plans," Sam responded.

"You celebrating Unattached Drifter Christmas?" you asked in a teasing tone.

Dean shrugged and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. "Nahh, I think I'm gonna sit this year out. I'd rather stay home."

"Awww man," you grumbled.

Dean looked at you with an arched brow. "Is that a problem?"

"No," you answered quickly. "It just puts a bit of a wrench in my plans."

"And what are your plans?" he asked.

"I was gonna take over the Dean Cave for the night--scary movie marathon, pizza, snacks, alcohol."

"Pizza, snacks, and alcohol is my holy trinity," Dean said with a wide smirk. "Would you be opposed to me crashing your party?"

"You hate scary movies," you said.

"Yeah, but you love them," he countered. "I'm the crasher, so I'm not gonna demand a change in movie genre."

You smiled at him. "Alright, then you can come. I'll even supply beer."

Dean winked at you. "The way to my heart," he teased.

You rolled your eyes and hopped off the counter. "Oh, did Sam mention he has a date tonight?"

Sam shot you a look and you hurried out of the kitchen, laughing quietly as Dean started to tease his brother.

"A date, baby bro? Look at you!"

**********

You'd sent Dean to pick up the pizza while you set up the Dean Cave for the evening's festivities. You'd made a run to the grocery store earlier in the day to pick up yours and Dean's favorite snacks, as well as a decent supply of wine and beer.

You were more than satisfied with your selections, but for some reason you felt anxious. Well...to be honest, you knew the reason. You hadn't expected Dean to be staying home and you certainly didn't count on him joining you for the evening.

You'd known Dean for a little over five years and in that time you'd grown to care about him deeply, more than you should. He was a genuinely good person underneath his gruff exterior, a facade he had dropped with you long ago.

If you were completely honest with yourself, you knew you loved him, but you would never say anything to him. You knew him too well. Dean had lost virtually everyone he'd ever loved and he blamed himself for their deaths. He avoided romantic relationships like the plague because he didn't want to add another name to the body count. It was hard enough for him to bring you into his life as a friend, and there was no way he would risk anything more than that.

So of course, you kept your mouth shut, hiding your feelings from both Winchesters. The only person that knew how you felt was Jody and she would take that secret to the grave if you wanted her to. You would rather have Dean as a friend than lose him completely.

You tossed your favorite oversized blanket onto the couch with a sigh. You were trying not to think about curling up next to Dean for a movie marathon on freaking Valentine's Day of all days. You knew it was the romantic nature of the day itself that had your stomach in knots. You'd watched movies and binge ate with Dean countless times before without issue, but there was an added intensity to this instance simply because it happened to be February 14th.

You also couldn't help but wonder why Dean wasn't planning on going out. You couldn't remember the last time he neglected to celebrate 'Unattached Drifter Christmas' as he'd always called it. In fact, Dean hadn't been out to pick up a girl in weeks...you were struggling to recall the last time Dean didn't decline a girl's invitation to come home with her.

"I've brought sustenance!" The man in question spoke from behind you, startling you out of your thoughts.

"Jesus!" you yelped.

Dean chuckled lightly. "Sorry, sweetheart. Didn't mean to scare you."

You shot him a look that clearly said 'I wasn't scared', which only caused him to laugh harder.

You tossed a piece of popcorn at him and headed towards the door. "I'm gonna change into comfy clothes before we get started."

"Good idea," he agreed, placing the pizza down on the table before following you out the door.

Five minutes later, you came back into the Dean Cave wearing your most comfortable leggings and an oversized worn out band tee you'd had for at least a decade. You'd opted to forgo a bra for comfort's sake and you hoped Dean wouldn't notice.

Dean was already sitting on the couch, wearing his gray sweatpants and a plain black tee. It was almost offensive how hot he looked in that outfit--no man had any right to look that good in sweatpants.

When you walked in, Dean's gaze traveled from the TV to you. You noticed his pupils dilate slightly as he looked at you, but you figured that was due to the change in light.

You plopped down on the couch beside him, leaving plenty of space between the two of you to avoid any awkwardness. "Ready to be terrified?" you teased.

Dean groaned softly. "You know I'm only watching these because you love them."

You grinned and snagged the remote from him. "They're so good!"

"Our life is a scary movie," he grumbled. "I don't know why you like these."

"I think that's actually why I like them. Our real lives are full of the kind of shit that would make people lose their minds, but for us, it's just another Tuesday. These movies are either cheesy as hell or have an exaggerated version of a monster we have hunted and killed--so it becomes entertaining instead of scary."

Dean raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "Or you're crazy."

You smiled at him and shot him a wink. "That's just an added bonus."

He rolled his eyes and grabbed a slice of pizza. As he shoveled food into his mouth, you opened up a streaming service and typed in the name of the first movie you wanted to watch.

"You remember The Conjuring right? And Annabelle?"

"Yeah," he answered. "That Annabelle one was creepy as hell."

You grinned. "Well this one is in the same universe and I've been dying to watch it."

You pressed play on the remote and the opening credits of The Nun began to play. You snuggled up under the blanket and sighed contentedly, a piece of pizza in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

Dean glanced at you and couldn't help the soft smile that graced his lips. It was rare he got to see you truly happy and content, so this was a moment he intended to fully savor. He studied your face, desperate to commit it to memory, unwilling to forget how beautiful you looked in this moment.

He sighed softly and closed his eyes, still picturing your face clearly in his mind. It brought another smile to his lips and he breathed in deeply, smelling a mixture of your shampoo and your perfume. He wanted you to be closer to him, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

He made a split second decision and voiced his request aloud, "It's a little chilly in here. Do you mind sharing the blanket with me?" He wasn't cold at all, but he thought it might get you to move closer to him to share.

"Oh! Sure." You smiled and scooted in his direction, holding the edge of the blanket out to him.

He took it and started to cover himself. "You're gonna need to come a little closer, sweetheart," he said with a chuckle. "I need a bit more coverage."

You laughed and moved even closer to him so your arms were now touching. "Better?" you teased.

"Much," he affirmed.

You tried to keep your body relaxed and focused on the movie, but Dean's proximity was overwhelming your senses. You could smell his aftershave, feel his body heat, and see the rise and fall of his chest much more clearly than before. The simple act of a man breathing should not be a turn on...yet here you were.

You shifted slightly as you felt a familiar wave of heat pool in your belly. Not now, you thought to yourself.

"You okay, doll?" Dean asked softly.

His voice sounded lower than before, huskier even, and you had to bite your lip to keep from audibly moaning. As it was, you could feel the slick gathering between your legs, which was mortifying enough.

"I'm fine," you lied, shifting again.

Dean wrapped his arm around your shoulders and tugged you into his side. "Come 'ere," he muttered. "Get comfortable."

You gasped softly at the sudden movement, but you allowed him to pull you closer. You laid your head against his chest and sighed quietly. You had to admit, it was a much more comfortable position to be in, even if it increased your longing.

"Better?" he whispered, echoing your earlier question.

"Yeah," you mumbled.

Dean smiled down at you even though you couldn't see it. He liked this new position--he liked holding you. He knew he was crossing boundaries he'd never intended to cross, but his feelings had become unbearable as of late.

He couldn't remember a moment when he didn't want you and it was getting harder to remember a time when he didn't love you. The last couple months had been hell on his heart and he was starting to break. He hid it from everyone, especially you, but he knew he couldn't do that for much longer.

His random hookups had stopped alleviating his desire to be with you, instead increasing that need tenfold after every encounter. So he stopped hooking up with women altogether. He'd considered moving out of the bunker for a while to get away, but he couldn't do that to Sam or to you.

He found himself in a predicament he'd been trying to avoid for years and the walls he'd built around his heart had started to crumble. There was nothing he wouldn't do to keep you safe--he'd rip out his own still-beating heart if he had to--but he couldn't find the strength to stop loving you. No matter what he did, his love only grew.

It wasn't fair to you and he knew he shouldn't love you, shouldn't tell you, shouldn't pull you into something with him that would almost certainly get you killed, but his own pain was becoming too much. The physical ache in his chest when you were apart was beginning to impact every part of his life, including hunting. He'd be lying if he said it didn't terrify him, but he couldn't fight his feelings any longer.

"(Y/N)?" Dean asked softly.

"Hmm?" you hummed, eyes still trained on the TV.

"Can you look at me, sweetheart?" he murmured.

You shifted your head to look up at him. You were struck by how brilliantly green his irises looked in the dimly lit room, your lips parting slightly in surprise.

Dean's heart was hammering in his chest so quickly he was certain you could hear it. When your pretty (y/e/c) eyes met his, he was immediately lost in them--adrift in an ocean of (y/e/c).

He knew this was it--it was now or never...he could either take the leap or let his pain drown him in loneliness. He chose the former. He lowered his head the short distance to place a soft, warm kiss against your lips.

The moment you felt his lips on yours, it was like the world stopped spinning. Suddenly there was nothing but you and Dean--nothing else existed, nothing else mattered. Just you and Dean.

When your lips began to move against his, returning his kiss, he groaned happily. His hands grabbed at your torso, seeking comfort in your soft flesh. He tugged you towards him, and you shifted your body to straddle his lap, lips never leaving his.

In your new position, you could feel his hardening member pressing against your clothed core. You ground against him, earning a moan from deep in his throat. His hands tightened their grip on your hips and your nails dug into his shoulders as the sensation sent a bolt of electricity through you.

Dean's hands snaked under your shirt and he began tugging it upwards in an attempt to remove it. The logical part of your brain suddenly kicked back on and you grabbed his hand to stop him.

"Dean--wait," you gasped, pulling away from him slightly.

His eyes widened and his body tensed. He quickly removed his hands from your body and held them up in surrender. "I'm sorry, we can stop. I--"

You shook your head. "I just need...I need to say something." You bit your lip. "I don't wanna be a one night stand or a friends with benefits thing. I-I can't, Dean. I can't."

The pain in your voice nearly broke his heart. He wanted to reassure you, but he wasn't sure you would believe him. He had a reputation and it was Valentine's Day...what were the odds you'd believe him?

"(Y/N), listen to me," he said gently, taking your hands in his. "I would never ever make you to do something you didn't want to do...and I would never purposefully hurt you. I need you to know that. Do you know that, (Y/N/N)?"

"Yes," you whispered, nodding slowly.

"Good...because I mean it. I can't do any more one night stands or casual hookups or friends with benefits situations. I can't handle any of those things anymore than I can pretend I don't need you. And I do need you, (Y/N/N). I need you in every way a person can possibly need another...mentally, emotionally, physically--all of it. You're the best part of my fucked up life and I don't want to lose you."

It was rare to see Dean so open and vulnerable. This was one of the very few times you'd been witness to it, but this was, by far, the most emotional moment you'd ever shared with him. You wanted to respond, to say all the things you'd carried in your heart for years, but you couldn't think of a single word to say.

Your silence dragged on long enough that Dean began to worry he'd crossed a line he shouldn't have...a line he couldn't uncross. "Please, (Y/N)," he begged. "Say something."

"I'm sorry," you said quickly, realizing you'd been silent too long. Dean's face fell and you knew he believed you were about to reject him. You placed your hands against his chest in a calming manner, desperate to infuse your love in the touch.

"You're not going to lose me, Dean," you assured him. "I'm not going anywhere...my place is here, with you. This is where I belong--where I want to be. Wherever you are is home to me."

He didn't need grand gestures or romantic poetry. He didn't need some eloquent speech about how much you loved him. All he needed was to hear your sweet voice saying he was your 'home' and he was a goner.

When his lips met yours for the second time, everything felt different. It was as if all the moments of his life before this were in black and white and he was seeing in color for the first time. He felt alive in a way he'd forgotten--whole, in a way he'd never experienced.

He'd had very few positive relationships in his past and most of them ended bloody. He'd thought he'd been in love before, but those feelings paled in comparison to the way he felt about you. This was love, a love so real--so lasting--it was branded into his very soul.

His fingers gripped the edge of your shirt again and this time, you allowed him to remove it. "Fuck," he groaned, hungry eyes trained on your naked chest. "No bra?"

"I wanted to be comfortable."

His large, calloused hands gripped your heavy breasts and he gently kneaded the supple flesh. "I want my girl to be comfortable all the time," he murmured. "So I think we should burn all your bras."

Your soft chuckle morphed into a moan as his lips found one of your nipples. You rolled your hips against him, a soft gasp escaping your lips.

Dean wanted to take his time with you and he was thoroughly enjoying his current activities, but it seemed you had other plans in mind.

"Dean," you whined. "Need you."

He gave your nipple one last gentle lick before lifting his head. "I'm right here, baby."

You rolled your hips against his throbbing cock and he groaned. Clearly you wanted more and he was in no position to deny you anything.

He gripped you tightly and stood up. You yelped in surprise and wrapped your legs around his waist. He turned around so your back was to the couch and he slowly lowered you down, placing you on the couch in front of him. He kneeled down and looked up at you, eyes dark with desire.

His hands slid slowly up your thighs, coming to a stop at the hem of your pants. "Can I take these off?"

You nodded rapidly.

He smirked and began to peel your leggings down at a painfully slow pace. You whined in annoyance, but Dean simply smiled. "Patience, sweetheart."

Finally, your pants, and subsequently your underwear, were tossed onto the floor, leaving you completely bare before him. There was a small part of you that felt self-conscious being naked in front of Dean. It was always uncomfortable for you the first time you found yourself in this position with a new man, but Dean was different. You weren't sure if it was the hunger in his gaze, the affection he clearly had for you, or the love you felt for him...you felt safe, you felt comfortable, and you felt loved. That was all that mattered.

Dean licked his lips in anticipation as he slowly spread your legs, revealing your soaking wet pussy to him. He groaned softly, spreading your legs wider to get an even better view.

"Now that's the prettiest pussy I've ever seen," he murmured. He slid a finger between your folds to collect some of your juices before bringing the finger to his mouth. He sucked it clean with a moan of enjoyment. "Delicious."

Before you had time to react, Dean had grabbed your hips and dragged you forward so you were closer to the edge of the couch. His mouth was on you in an instant, feasting on you like he might never eat again.

Your head fell back against the cushion and soft moans began to stream from your lips. Your legs rested on his shoulders and your hand gripped his hair tightly. Salacious sounds filled the room and you were glad Sam was gone for the night. You had a feeling it was only going to get louder.

Dean's experience in the bedroom was very evident as he ate you out. He was extremely skilled, but more importantly he paid attention to you. He was desperate to learn exactly what drove you wild and he wouldn't stop until he'd mapped out all of your pleasure points.

"Dean," you gasped softly, grip on his hair tightening.

He knew you were close, the way your legs began to tremble and your grip on his hair indicating your impending orgasm like a flashing neon sign.

His fingers dug into your hips, holding you in place so you couldn't squirm away. With expert precision, Dean spelled his own full name against your clit with his tongue, sending you into a spiral of moaning, shaking bliss.

Dean continued to lap up your juices as you came down, and to your surprise, he didn't stop, even as you began to tug on his hair in earnest. "Please, Dean! Too much," you pleaded.

Dean sucked your little bundle of nerves into his mouth and slipped two fingers inside of you. He quickly found your sweet spot and began to drag his fingers along it repeatedly. The shock waves of pleasure had you changing your pleas to moans in seconds.

Your pussy gripped his fingers like iron and he couldn't wait to feel you grip his cock in the same fashion. He hadn't even been inside you yet and he already knew he would never want another woman's body the way he wanted yours.

"Dean!" you cried out, thick thighs squeezing his head, hips gyrating against his mouth as you came once again.

He lapped up everything you had to give him hungrily--wishing he could stay between your legs forever. This time, however, he allowed you to pull him up by his hair.

You were completely breathless, chest rising and falling rapidly. Dean licked his lips and wondered how sexy you'd look riding him, breasts bouncing as he slammed up into you.

"I think," you mumbled, "you have...too much...clothing on."

He laughed at your breathless remark. He had to agree with your sentiment, so he stood up and removed his shirt quickly. When he stood, you were rewarded with a nice view of his erection pressing against the confines of his sweats.

He smiled at you and slowly lowered his pants, revealing his very large member. The tip was red and throbbing, precum leaking from the slit. You licked your lips and eyed him hungrily, wanting to wrap your lips around it with a desperation that surprised you.

"Sit," you begged.

Dean smirked and obliged, sitting down beside you. You slid off the couch and crawled the short distance to settle between his legs.

Your soft hands wrapped around his cock and he groaned softly. "You're so big," you whispered.

"Your hands are small," he teased.

"But my mouth isn't."

Dean didn't have the time to process your sassy comment before your mouth wrapped around him and you began to suck his cock in earnest.

"Holy fuck-" he groaned, head falling back against the cushion.

He tangled his hand in your hair and gently guided your head as you began to take his cock deeper into your throat. You flexed the back of your tongue as you did so and he groaned loudly.

Having gotten the reaction you'd desired, you did the same move a couple more times, allowing his cock to almost leave your mouth before sucking him deep into your throat.

His grip on your hair tightened and his hips thrust forward, causing you to gag slightly. Instead of trying to lift off him, you breathed deeply through your nose and held steady, relaxing your throat as best as you could.

"Baby, you're doing so good for me," Dean murmured. "Making me feel amazing."

You moaned around his cock and reached between his legs to cup his balls and give them a gentle squeeze. His hips bucked slightly at the action, causing you to smirk.

You continued to suck his cock until he tugged your hair a little more harshly. "You gotta stop, doll, or I'm gonna cum."

You hummed in disappointment, but allowed him to pull you off his cock with a soft popping sound. He looked down at you with lust filled eyes and beckoned you towards him.

"Come up here, baby. I wanna touch you," he begged.

You climbed onto the couch with him, straddling his legs once again. You lowered yourself slowly, rubbing his cock against your wet core. You leaned forward to kiss him and repeated the action. He moaned against your lips before pressing his tongue against them, demanding entry.

You parted your lips and kissed him deeply, allowing his tongue to assert dominance. The kiss was passionate and loving, but the fire that burned inside of both of you in that moment only cared about pleasure.

"I need to be inside you," Dean whispered against your lips.

"Please," you begged him, rutting against him once more.

He gripped his cock tightly and lined himself up with your entrance. Once the tip pressed against your tight opening, he released his grip, hands settling on your hips to help guide you down.

You moaned softly as you continued to lower yourself onto his cock--the stretch both painful and enjoyable all at once. He was larger than you were accustomed to, both in girth and in length, and it almost felt as if you were a virgin all over again.

You had to lean forward, pressing your body against his for support as you lowered yourself down completely. You'd never felt so full, your toes curled at the mere feeling.

"You okay, baby?" Dean murmured, hands gently rubbing soothing circles into your back as he allowed you time to adjust.

"Never better," you whispered in reply.

You pulled yourself up into a proper sitting position and gasped as he somehow sank even deeper into you.

Dean worried he'd hurt you until he saw the look in your eye. His concern quickly turned to a smirk of pride. He pressed his hand against your lower abdomen and growled, "You feel that, baby? I'm so deep inside you, you'll be feeling me for days."

You moaned softly, his words having the desired effect on you. You rolled your hips a little and he hissed softly.

"Fuck, doll."

He gripped your hips as you started to move, bouncing up and down on his cock slowly.

His lips attached themselves to your jaw, your neck, your collarbone--anywhere he could reach. He was reveling in the feeling of your soft body against his muscular one, your curves providing him with plenty of flesh to hold on to.

"You feel so good, baby," he moaned in your ear. "Pussy squeezing me so tight--can hardly breathe."

"Feels good, Dean," you whimper.

"Yeah, baby? You like the way my cock feels in your pretty little pussy? Stretching you just right--you were made for me."

You preened at the praise, which only made him want to praise you more.

"This perfect body of yours makes me feel so good, sweetheart. You take my cock so well. Wanna stay here forever just making you feel good--listening to those sweet sounds you make. Fuck, never wanna stop."

You loved his praise, but your thighs were starting to get tired from the exertion. Dean could feel you slowing down, so he pulled you forward, pressing your chest flush against his.

"I've got you, baby. Let me take over," he whispered.

You gripped his shoulders and nodded, more than willing to allow him to take control.

As soon as he felt your body relax against him, he planted his feet firmly on the floor and began to piston up into you. He held you tightly against him to prevent you from moving too much.

"Dean!" you cried, nails digging into his shoulders.

His cock pressed into your g-spot with each thrust and in a matter of moments, you were teetering on the edge of another orgasm.

"Can feel you squeezing me, baby. You gonna cum for me? Huh?" Dean asked huskily. "You gonna coat my cock with your sweet cum, baby? Cum for me, sweet girl. Wanna feel it."

You loved the way he begged and it had you coming undone in an instant. You screamed his name as your walls fluttered around his cock. It took all of his focus not to cum along with you.

"That's my good girl," he whispered. "I'm gonna cum soon, doll. Where you want it?"

"Inside me," you begged. "Please, Dean--fill me up."

"Oh, fuck-" Dean moaned loudly as he came, coating your walls with his seed.

After a few more thrusts, Dean stilled. He continued to hold you tightly against him, needing to feel you close to him as he came down from his high.

He rubbed your back soothingly and placed a soft kiss to your damp hairline. "You were so good for me, (Y/N/N)."

You kissed his shoulder. "Felt so good, Dean."

He smiled and squeezed you tighter. He sighed contentedly, enjoying the feeling of the woman he loved pressed against his chest.

His cock had begun to soften and his cum was leaking out of you and onto his thighs, but he couldn't be bothered. Taking care of you was his one and only priority.

"Do you need some water, sweetheart?" he asked softly.

You shook your head.

"Food?"

You shook your head again.

"Tell me what you need, baby," he begged.

You finally lifted your head to look him in his eyes. "I know it's cliché to say I love you after sex, but I don't care. I love you, Dean...I love you wholly and completely."

Dean nearly breathed a sigh of relief at your admission. "I can't even begin to express how happy it makes me to hear you say those words. I've been pushing the feeling down for years, but I can't do it anymore, (Y/N). I love you with everything I have--it might not be much, but it's yours. You have me forever--mind, body, and soul."

You smiled and gently caressed his cheek. He leaned into your touch and closed his eyes. You kissed him softly, which he immediately returned in kind.

When you separated, you noticed a mischievous glint in his bright green eyes. "Dean?"

"What are your thoughts about round two in my bedroom?"

You laughed lightly. "Are you gonna kick me out of your bed at 2am?"

"Not if you don't snore," he teased.

You smacked his shoulder affectionately and he laughed. "You're lucky you're so damn cute."

He grinned. "Actually, I'm adorable."

You rolled your eyes playfully. "You know, I think I like the idea of round two."

Dean smiled and pulled you even closer. "Hold onto me, sweetheart."

You gripped him tightly and he stood up, holding you to his chest. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he headed towards his bedroom.

When he entered his room, he gently tossed you onto the bed, earning a soft giggle from your lips. He climbed on top of you, pressing sweet kisses to your skin for several moments before finally kissing your soft lips.

"I'm glad you skipped 'Unattached Drifter Christmas' this year," you murmured.

He smiled. "Me too, baby. I think it's more 'Attached Drifter Christmas' now."

You laughed. "I love you, you dork."

He kissed you again. "Not as much as I love you."

The two of you spent the next couple hours continuing to explore each other's bodies, experiencing blinding pleasure over and over again.

Nothing could ever compare to the love you felt for each other, and in spite of everything, you both fell asleep in the comfort of each other's arms, dreaming of the beautiful future ahead.

[readsaboutreid]

Periods Suck | S.R.

this is inspired by lenaleechi on instagram's comic about hating periods as well as the gif above because it gives me mad baby fever so i guess this is season 4 softdom!spencer x gn!afab!bau!reader plus a blink and you'll miss it buffy the vampire slayer reference

content warning: breeding kink and period sex [i'm too stoned to think of any others but if you think of them please add them (kindly) in the replies and i'll add them in later :)]

this is smut, minors dni pls and thank you

"...fuck this, fuck everything and everyone, I am done, I quit," I ramble as I open the door to my apartment and kick off my dress shoes that were painfully squeezing my toes, just adding to my frustration. This case had been particularly mild compared to others but I couldn't help but be in a mood due to the littlest things done by the (admittedly innocent) local police officers. I was so relieved to finally go home and get to sleep in my own bed and curl up with a heating pad and my boyfriend with a Doctor Who marathon.

"Deep breaths, (y/n)," I hear from behind me in a soft, soothing tone as gentle hands come down to rub my shoulders from behind. I know he’s well aware what’s causing me to be in such a shitty mood. His pattern recognition skills are off the chart and while he never outright said anything to me about it he'd always be prepared with hot water bottles and chocolate when this time of the month rolled around. I turn around and bury my face into his chest with a sigh.

"I hate periods, Spencer. They suck," I whine with a sigh, my voice muffled by the knit fabric of his cardigan.

"I know, love," he sighs above me, resting his cheek on my forehead and wrapping his arms around me, "I'm sorry there's not more I could do to help."

"You're helping already," I sigh again, but this time out of contentment as we sway side to side in the entry way. "I wish there was a way I could just, like, stop having them," I mutter, my face returning to the soft fibers that I had come to find so comforting over the years.

Spencer's voice is muffled against my hair as he mutters, "That may be something I can assist you with." I don't even need to see his face to imagine the grin spread across it. Lately, he had been subtly expressing his desire for children, but after JJ gave birth to Henry, his hints have become more pressing. And technically, it was all because of me.

The night was a blur of celebration and drinks, as Emily and Garcia joined me in raising our glasses to toast the occasion. But as we were caught up in the joy of the moment, I couldn't help but let slip that after seeing the pure happiness on Spencer's face at the sight of his godchild a spark ignited within me, igniting a fierce case of baby fever that threatened to consume me entirely. Garcia, the horrible traitor that she is, had messaged a video of my confession to Spencer before I had even finished talking and before I knew it, my phone was buzzing with pictures from Spencer himself - tiny onesies and miniature sneakers - accompanied by words like, ‘just imagine a little genius of our own running around our home in this.’

Without changing his stance, he starts off on one of his typical Spencer Reid rants. "Did you know that scientific research has indicated that orgasms can alleviate menstrual cramps? It's due to the release of endorphins and muscular contractions which help relax the uterine lining," he explains with a slight hint of arousal in his tone, "not only does it address your discomfort, but it also takes care of your other request at the same time."

"We could start trying now, if you want," he suggests with a playful tone, though the subtle hint of desire in his voice sends a jolt of anticipation down my spine and settles between my thighs, igniting a fervent ache. Oh. Oh.

I finally turn my head to meet his gaze, and I am met with intense desire radiating from his eyes. His pupils are dilated, and he licks his lips before gently tracing a finger along my cheek and following up with a soft, "what do you think?"

I interrupt him by pulling his face towards mine, and our lips meet in a soft kiss. Suddenly, I'm pushed against the wall with the command to "jump," and my legs automatically wrap around Spencer as he lifts me up by my ass. Our lips met in a hungry yet tender kiss.

Our breaths come in ragged gasps as he pulls away to meet my gaze, his eyes searching mine for confirmation. I eagerly nod, my heart racing and anticipation building. Our lips collide once more, the heat between us intensifying as we lose ourselves in each other's embrace. The world fades into the background as our bodies meld together, consumed by desire. He sets me down and guides me to our bedroom by the hand, giggling slightly with excitement. I know he wants kids and we have discussed having them together in the future but the giddiness of the grown ass man in front of me ends up drawing a giggle from my own throat as well.

As we enter the bedroom, he stoops down to give me a quick kiss before heading to the bathroom. He grabs an old black towel I use for dyeing my hair and returns, laying it down on the bed and patting it lightly. He sends me sweet smile full of adoration as he whispers, "after you, my love."

I stumble towards the light switch and turn it off before making my way over to the bed. I take off my top and lay down, the darkness giving me a sense of privacy. Suddenly, I hear a soft sound from Spencer as he walks away. The lights flick back on, and he quickly closes the distance between us with just two steps. Before I can even cover myself up in the glare of the harsh light, he's already crawling on top of me.

"You're so gorgeous," he beams at me again before leaning in to kiss me gently, lowering his hips to rest between my legs as they wrap back around his hips instinctively as he begin peppering kisses all over my face and drawing endless laughs from my mouth, "I'm," kiss, "so," kiss, "lucky," kiss, "to," kiss, "have," kiss, "you."

He moves back, his lips leaving a trail of fire as they kiss and caress my skin. My jaw trembles under the soft brush of his lips, before he slowly trails kisses down to my throat. I can't help but let out a moan as his lips touch the sensitive skin there. His body presses against mine, the unmistakable hardness of his arousal pressing against my hypersensitive center. Every move, every touch, sends electric shivers through my body, igniting a primal desire within me.

My body aches with desire as I struggle to catch my breath. "Please remove your clothing now," I manage to say between deep, passionate kisses. Spencer eagerly strips down and helps me out of my own clothes before settling back between my legs. His arousal presses against the wetness between my thighs, adding to the intense heat building inside me.

"I've been craving this all week, sweetness," he mutters against my neck as he sucks feverishly at the skin, leaving love bites in his wake. "Craving you and your beautiful body." I have no idea how he managed to get me from wildly upset to wildly horny in such a short time, but instead of questioning it, I just let out a moan as I grind my hips against him, begging for his cock to enter me. He continues to tease me by rubbing the tip against my wet slit.

“P-please, Spence,” I whimper, unable to form a coherent sentence through the haze of lust I had become quickly lost within.

Spencer's eyes flicker with desire as he holds himself over me, his hands fisting the sheets on either side of my head. "Say it again," he growls, rubbing his erection against my aching center.

"P-please," I beg, my voice shaking with need.

He chuckles darkly, the sound sending shivers down my spine.

"As you wish," he murmurs before slowly sliding inside me. I gasp at the intense pleasure that washes over me, causing my body to arch off the bed and my nails to dig into his back. He begins to move in slow, deep thrusts, filling me completely and igniting a fire within me that threatens to consume every inch of my being.

As our bodies meld together in a blazing inferno, time itself seems to cease to exist. Every touch of Spencer's fingers sends shivers of ecstasy coursing through me, while each caress of his lips against mine ignites a fire within. Our movements are fluid and perfect, each one bringing us closer to the pinnacle of pleasure. I am consumed by an overwhelming sensation, my senses heightened to their limits as our passion reaches an almost unbearable intensity. It feels as though this moment could stretch on for eternity, and I never want it to end. In this single moment, there is nothing else but the all-consuming desire between us, and I give myself completely to it.

My heart pounds against my ribs as Spencer's gaze locks onto mine, his eyes filled with the same ferocity and desire that burns within me. He gives me a wicked grin, and I can feel my resolve crumble as the insatiable hunger consumes me. "You want to have my baby?" he gasps, and all I can respond with is a loud, whorish moan, entirely unable to form any words as his hips start to move ever so slightly faster.

He surges forward, his body fusing with mine in a wild, primal dance. Our movements become more frenzied, our bodies slamming together with the force of a thousand thunderstorms. My breath comes in short gasps as Spencer's relentless thrusts coax an orgasm out of me. My muscles tense, my hips bucking against him, seeking the sweet release from the intense pleasure building up inside of me.

Every thrust, every touch, every whispered word sends me higher and higher, my body arching and bucking beneath him in a frenzy of ecstasy.

Spencer's eyes are locked onto mine as he continues to drive into me, his gaze burning with an intensity that matches the fire inside us both. His hands grip my hips tightly, never losing rhythm as he thrusts into me and coaxes that sweet release from me. My body trembles and shakes with each surge, and I can feel the orgasm building, growing stronger and more intense with each passing second.

A low, guttural moan escapes from Spencer's lips as he picks up the pace, his movements becoming harder and faster. I can feel him growing more desperate, and I know that he's close to his own release.

The pleasurable ache between my legs intensifies, and I know that I'm about to reach that peak. I let out a helpless whimper as the pleasure was threatening to overtake me, and I feel as though I'm being pulled into a vortex of ecstasy. Time seems to stand still, and I'm lost in the moment, our bodies moving together in perfect harmony.

The bed creaks and groans with our passionate lovemaking, the sound echoing in my ears as I reach for the pinnacle of pleasure. Spencer's eyes are locked onto mine, and I see the same intensity in them that I feel in my own being. We're one, united in our desire for each other, and nothing else matters in this world.

His thrusts become harder and faster, the tip of his erection brushing against the most sensitive part of me with every stroke. The pleasure is overwhelming, and I can feel the orgasm building within me, growing stronger with each passing second. I cling to Spencer, my nails digging into his back as I beg him to take me over the edge.

“Gonna fill you up,(Y/N),” Spencer moans, “everyone will know who you belong to once you’re — oh fuck — carrying my fucking baby inside you.” His words send me falling over the edge and I can feel myself slipping away, my mind consumed by the intense pleasure reaching it's peak as my hips buck wildly.

Time seems to stand still as we reach the pinnacle of pleasure together. Our bodies move in perfect sync, every thrust, every caress, every whispered word fueling the fire that burns within us. The pleasure is all-consuming, coursing through my veins and reaching every cell in my body. I let out a series of orgasmic moans bordering on screams and Spencer smiles down at me wickedly, his eyes never leaving mine as his thrusts become harder and more disjointed as his own orgasm looms on the horizon. His moans grow louder and louder as the feeling of slight overstimulation makes me clench even tighter around his throbbing cock as he reaches his breaking point.

"Please, Spencer," I whisper, "make me yours, sir. P-please, please put a baby in me!"

Finally, with one last deep thrust, Spencer moans loudly and shudders above me, his body rigid as he loses himself in the pleasure of a release he had been building up to for what felt like an eternity. As Spencer's body shudders above mine, I can feel the warmth of his release filling me up, an earth-shattering feeling that takes my breath away. We lay there for a moment, our bodies still joined together, basking in the afterglow of our passion. Finally, with a contented sigh, Spencer pulls out of me and collapses onto the bed beside me.

I snap back to reality, my mind reeling from the intensity of our lovemaking. I can feel the stickiness between my legs, a reminder of the incredible moment we just shared. The room is still, the only sounds being our heavy breathing and the rhythmic beating of our hearts. I reach over to grab the bedside table, searching for a tissue to clean myself up.

"Spencer?" I say softly, my voice barely a whisper.

"Yeah, sweetheart?" he replies, still out of breath.

I flash him a saucy grin, "I think we'll have to make sure we keep trying this before my next period so I won't have to suffer through another one, for a while." I joked, while playfully poking his chest.

He chuckled softly, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear, "I think that's a great idea, my love." I couldn't help but giggle at his response, feeling a burst of warmth spread through my body.

[liesmyth]

I want to start running...any tips?

I WAS BORN TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION. Thank you so much for asking! Unfortunately, I am a nerd about my hobbies so this got quite long.

Keep it simple ✨

Running is easy to get into; our bodies are built for it. Don’t stress over technicalities and just do what feels natural to you. My local races are full of 70-something white-haired pensioners who are kicking ass at it. Don’t let anyone tell you that running is meant to feel like dying, that’ll harm your knees, or that you absolutely need to have that specific smartwatch model to get into it. All you need is a solid pair of shoes, everything else is optional.

Medium effort is the way to go

The ideal aerobic running pace is a speed at which you’re able to hold a conversation, even if a bit winded. NO faster. If you’re able to sing along to your playlist or chat with a friend, that’s your ideal running pace. If you’re gasping or wheezing, slow down! You’ll get a bit faster as your lung capacity gets better, but that shouldn’t be a priority unless you want to train for a race. You get most of the health benefits of running just by keeping up a steady, sustainable, conversational pace.

Walking breaks are fine, actually

That’s the reason why I don’t love C25K as a beginner program — the way it’s structured sort of implies that walking breaks are something you should grow out of to become a more experienced runner. If you need to walk for a bit, go ahead.

If possible, jogging is preferable, just because the mechanics of even a glacial-pace jog are more similar to running than those of a faster power walk, so you might try switching to a jog after a bit of a walking interval. But walking is not a failure; there are serious marathon training plans out there that use walk/run intervals as a viable strategy.

(Related: picking up speed helps you keep going! If you feel like you are completely drained, try speeding up for a very short interval, then slowing back down. It’ll often give you an energy boost to keep going)

Run for time, not distance ⌚

Especially for beginners, I find that getting fixated on numbers can be counter productive, and the most important thing is to listen to your body. If you’re aiming to hit a certain mileage, you might get the urge to speed up at the end to get done faster. Instead, set yourself time-based goals and end every run with a cool down jog or walk.

SHOES!! 👟

Good running shoes are essential, and pretty much the only fitness-related purchase on which I’ll always support dropping money. If you get to the point where you’re consistently running 10 km (6 miles) each week, you’ll want to go to a running store — the kind of place where you’ll get fitted, and they’ll have you try on models and jog on a treadmill to evaluate your gait and let you know which characteristics your ideal shoe needs. I can’t stress enough how useful running store staff can be. They’re all running club nerds who LOVE getting new people into running, and they really want to help you find your ideal fit. Also get good running socks while you’re at it.

Be prepared to drop at least 100€ (or equivalent currency) but they usually have a great return policy if the model isn’t a good fit for you. Take care of your running shoes — maintenance, wearing them only for running, gentle cleansing etc — and the cushioning will last for quite a while (600km / 370miles at least). If you decide that you hate running, they’re still great for walking around. Once you find your ideal shoe model, it gets a lot easier to shop for it during end-of-season sales, or looking for online bargains etc. I love stocking on end-of-series shoes and rotating them so they’ll last even longer, and I buy online quite often! Just make sure your FIRST pair is fitted, for ideal injury prevention and joint health.

Injury prevention 💪

I’d love to still be running 10k races when I’m 70, but it takes some care to get there. When you run, you’re slamming your body weight up and down with every stride, and that might be hard on your joints if you’re not used to it. If you’re completely new to running, cap your runs at 15/20 minutes every other day. Do that even if you feel like you could keep going! If you have a good aerobic base already, you need to give your joints time to catch up with you lung capacity, and give your body time to recover. Do bodyweight exercises like lunges and planks and glute bridges to strengthen your core, legs, and hips. Dynamic stretches are great for warmups, and static stretches are better for cooling down. If you have the option, running on softer surface like grass or dirt is better than asphalt, which is better than concrete and pavements.

(If nothing of what I’ve said here makes sense to you, shoot me another ask, or look at some of the resources I’ve linked down below!)

Don't get bored! 🎶

I love running in groups. Running clubs are great. You can learn so much in a hands-on way from seriously experienced people, you can chat about gossip over a running job, and you can make some interesting friends. If you don’t have access to a running community, then personally I love just chilling on a run by myself listening to an audiobook or podcast or exploring a certain area.

Running form❓

Don’t stress about it. Just go out and move your body. Attempting to modify your ‘running form’ too quickly can do more harm than good. There ARE a few things you could pay attention to — I recommend trying to focus on one of these at a time for a minute or so, and alternate between them. After a while, it’ll start to feel natural to keep track of all of them:

1. Don’t slouch! But a slight lean forward is great.

2. Keep your shoulders pulled down and your upper back tense.

3. Swinging your arms in a way that helps with your stride is good, but I shouldn’t feel forced.

4. Even breaths, inhaling through your mouth and expiring through your nose.

5. Take turns to check with every part of your body, and relax them in turn: are your jaw and neck too tense? Are your fists tight?

6. Don’t overstride! shorter strides with quicker leg turnover are better than huge strides that feel awkward to you.

7. Use your glutes to drive up the motion of your legs, not just your quads. This can take a while to get used to, but it’s a game-changer.

8. ENGAGE YOUR CORE. This is a great skill to develop whether you work out or are just existing in the world — basically, let your inner abdominal muscles help you carry your weight forward. This is VERY intuitive once you know how to do it, but it’s hard to get a grasp of it if you don’t know what it means, so here are some resources about it.

an extremely fucking comprehensive article that improved my life and eased my big-boobs back pain

similar content but in video form

a running-specific form video

Personally, learning to do this made me feel like I unlocked a superpower. Go forth and brace.

Accessories and tips 🤓

Like I said above, the only thing I really suggest spending money on for real is running shoes. Everything else is details! However, I’m nothing if not wordy I have Thoughts about those details, too.

Run tracking: I suggest downloading Runkeeper if you want to keep track of your runs — it’s free, intuitive, and solid! If you decide to get into wearables, a low-level Garmin >>>>> anything else.

Self-care: use sunscreen and/or thick face cream as needed. Stop to sip at a public fountain if needed. Get a small fanny pack to hold your phone, keys, or lip balm if needed. If chafing is an issue, anti-glide gel is relatively affordable.

Outfits etc: I get all my running gear and clothes from Decathlon — they are in most countries and ship worldwide. I especially love this thermal shirt for colder weather

Safety: if you’re running on the road, make sure to run in the opposite direction from traffic and to wear something bright. If you run with headphones near traffic, keep the volume down, or get over-the-ear conductor headsets. I love shokz, they're fantastic.

Post-run snack: eating something small and carb-heavy within 30 mins of a workout is great for kickstarting recovery. I love dried fruit personally.

Various resources 📝

Routine basics: check out the r/running order of operations, which is a great “how to” guide to building a basic running routine. I also recommend that subreddit's wiki! Running programming gets exponentially more involved the more advanced you get, etc — if you ever have any questions, hit me up!

Dynamic stretching warmup: a quick leg swing workout to get your legs ready to go. If you’re feeling overachieving, here’s a lunge warmup routine and a how-to bodyweight squat video.

Cooldown routine! Check out Strength and Mobility, a great post-run quick cooldown routine that includes some bodyweight exercises to strengthen your hips and core. Video included.

that's all, folks! 🏃‍♀️

Sorry I got carried away! I love running. I love getting people into running. My mental health, cardiovascular system and my popping quads also love running. But FYI, some people hate running and that's also fine! If you decide it’s not for you, find something you like more. There are a lot of misconceptions out there and a lot of guilt-tripping and body shame-y rhetoric around exercising, especially aimed at women, and I want to make clear it’s all bullshit. Just have fun <3

[martyfive]

i didn’t know what the legend of zelda was when breath of the wild came out. i was probably in a middle of something very important at the moment, alright? something like sitting on a subway train on my way home. or like being in a middle of another family scandal. or failing another attempt of becoming someone i never wanted to be. busy stuff. i never even heard of the name zelda unless we were talking about zelda fitzgerald. i was nineteen and i wasn’t fucking around.

moreover, i didn’t know what zelda was about even when i bought breath of the wild itself.

what i always knew for sure is that i had never been and never would be a princess. every time i was told during our family dinners that those like me were never meant to be married to a handsome rich prince to live happily ever after, i was trying to find comfort in the vocally unannounced title of a friendly local knight in the shining armour bestowed upon me. the one who was there to shine and save and protect those in need. the one who wasn’t supposed to care about their appearances, being securely hidden behind a chain mail and metal shell that still never saved from bruises. a knight with a bear trap instead of a helmet. born to be the best and somehow failing every day. almost like a dream come true. not my own dream, but a dream nonetheless.

the life in our kingdom was a total disaster and i was a wreck of a knight.

by the time i escaped i had been depressed for approximately twelve years. i left everything i knew behind and moved to another country. i actually married my prince to make the paperwork easier for both of us. i found myself roaming in the wilderness i knew nothing about. i tried to take the bear trap off but every time i attempted to free myself from it it was hard to breathe through the neck that was losing its familiar balance. i didn’t know how to be an adult. i didn’t even know how to be a child. i wanted to learn, but i didn’t know where to start.

“what do you want for your birthday?” my prince asked me.

i didn’t feel like i deserved gifts. i did not achieve anything to receive them. the knight was technically laid off duty and the salary once paid in clothes and food was still haunting me. and i needed something else. we also needed something else to bond over except for our childhood bruises.

so i received nintendo switch for my birthday in a year i almost broke my neck trying to forcefully remove my fancy helmet as soon as i realised i couldn’t walk around like this anymore.

“games could be a part of a therapy,” the lady that was helping me with my breathing exercises said while i was pouring my blood trauma on the carpet in her office, “but they’re not gonna remove this bear trap of yours, you know?”

i knew that. i also knew i didn’t really want to live, trapped or not. so it made sense to me to start living my new life from the very beginning — to start from trying to be a child i barely ever was — and to try and learn how to be an adult like most healthy children did. meaning, to give myself time. to make choices i was robbed of. mistakes too, if necessary. to take a breath before heading off to run a marathon i never foresaw.

so yeah, i didn’t really know what the legend of zelda was when i bought breath of the wild. i only knew zelda was a princess i had never been and never would be. what i knew for sure is that the main character named link was supposed to save her.

and that he was her knight.

the whole thing sounded like a sick joke, but i was determined to know what the fuss was all about. looking back a couple years later, i’ve been wondering how it was even possible for me to stumble upon this exact game when i needed it that much.

while on my journey across the kingdom i wasn’t familiar with, with my own land shaded by the war and destruction, with no recollection of who i was and who i was to become, with a trapped in a castle tired princess named zelda, with the only light shining on the horizon gloomed by the darkness, i felt bad for link. what did he ever do to deserve all of this? i thought. why is this his burden to carry? is this normal for a character to stay silent before the impossible challenge he was supposedly destined to face and just… move forward no matter what?

i didn’t even know at the time how the zelda universe worked. that the event of link saving the world was something that threaded through the kingdom’s history like a football cup everyone was expecting to inconsistently happen once in a while. there was only this link and his own crazy challenges for me, and his destiny felt like a weight on the neck i, personally, being a broken knight i was at the time, wouldn’t be able to drag to the end.

but i had to.

i ran through the green fields from one destroyed town to the other and thought of link’s footsteps echoing in me as if every abandoned ruin was a part of my own depression i was supposed to face. every location had a name and each felt like it was important for someone who lived here a hundred years ago before the war took everything from them. the names meant nothing neither for me, nor for link and his amnesia, but for someone who wasn’t there anymore it was everything. and i had to accept it. there still was something to save. i had to look the destruction and what was left of the kingdom in the eyes and find a way to save what i can so the future would have a solid foundation they could build upon.

zelda couldn’t have saved the kingdom by herself. she had been trapped in that castle for a hundred years and she needed help of her knight. the task no single person deserved to condemn their soul with. i had no particular feelings about zelda herself, but it was a kingdom worth saving and there was only one knight that could do that. somehow, it had to be me.

so i visited every corner of the land and found everything there was to uncover, talked to everyone i could, solved everything there was to think of and turned up all the stones to find all the koroks. i just had to.

a couple months later i defeated the calamity and finally saved zelda. i took a breath and i let it out. and after that i felt better and empty once again. but it was something else this time.

it was the foundation. it was bare, but at least it was there.

i came a long way since finishing breath of the wild. i learned a new language. i grew up. i gave up my antidepressants to try and live without them. we moved from one city to the other. i got a dog that made me go outside and laugh every day. i started to make money. i started eating healthier. i started talking to people more. i took the responsibility. one by one, i pried the screws of the bear trap on my neck. it was still there, but it became easier for me to breathe. i realised that the kingdom i was raised in was never meant to be the only thing to define me. i was building my own on the ruins of what withstood. there was no other way to survive. and i just had to.

waking up as link once again years later and looking out to see the skies of tears of the kingdom, i cried. i felt like i met an old friend that was once everything to me and who i lost contact with for years, and then finally hugged them again. it was like finding myself a couple years later from where i was left dealing with my own shit and realising that my journey was worth it.

the ruins were still there, you see? but now we had so much else! there was another civilisation hidden in the clouds in the sky! and the whole another biome underground! giant temples to get confused about while looking at the map! there were new people to meet! new cataclysms to endure! new puzzles to solve! new koroks to find! damn, what a mess. i couldn’t wait to be a part of it!

and, of course, there was zelda to be saved.

zelda, who spent thousands of years in a form of a dragon waiting for her knight to take the previously shattered master sword she healed and to kill ganondorf. zelda, who was supposed to forget everything that made her human, but still was fighting for the light in the end. zelda, who was robbed of her life by the choice she made to protect those she loved, and who was blessed with another chance in the end. even a thousand years curse was finite. somehow, i found myself in love a princess i was never meant to become.

and it felt right.

and when link caught zelda falling from the sky over hyrule, i realised that the kingdom i was building with my own hands would always be there. and it was only my destiny to get to the rotten roots hidden underground in the darkness where no life was meant to exist but was flourishing in it’s own way instead, and to remove the sickness from it. to heal and to be healed.

and then i took my bear trap helmet off and smouldered it into a crown.

maybe i was never meant to be a princess. but in the kingdom that i built on my own, with all of its countless layers and clouds in the sky, with its ruins and old stones, with its depths and lurking horrors, with its riddles and joy, traps and secrets, songs and laughter, disasters and questions, dragons and princesses, with all the troubles and their resolutions…

there, i was only meant to be the king.

20/6/2024

[fandomnerd9602]

Fake, Right?

Wanda Maximoff x Nerd!Reader (High School AU)

For @aloneodi

“I do not!” Wanda Maximoff finds herself stating to the rest of the group she called her clique.

“It is so obvious, Maximoff” Yelena states before chowing down on her mac and cheese.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, Wanda” Natasha chimes in, “(Y/N) is cute. Your best friend for so long. It’s almost like a romance story”

Wanda rolls her eyes, “What about you and Bruce?” Natasha blushes at that remark.

“Fine!” Wanda huffs, “if it pleases you all, I’ll go out with (Y/N) and I’ll prove there’s nothing there!”

“The only one you need to prove it to is yourself” Natasha snickers.

Wanda leaves her gal pals and heads over to you.

“I need you to date me” Wanda takes you by the shoulders.

“hello you too” you smile.

“Natasha and Yelena think that I’m in love with you and I need to prove that I’m not.”

“So a fake date?” You look confused.

“Yeah. Fake. Can you help?”

“Uh sure?” You find yourself at a loss for words.

“Great. Pick you up at seven” she gives you a sisterly hug before rejoining her popular friends.

You’d do anything for Wanda. She was a good friend of yours for as long as you could remember. But a fake date just seemed a little off.

Wanda rejoins her friends. Natasha giggles as Yelena rolls her eyes.

“Enjoy your evening, lovebird” Natasha giggles.

“Shut up” Wanda rolls her eyes at the redhead.

You got ready for your fake date. A simple attire set up. You wrapped your lucky Hufflepuff scarf around your neck.

A familiar honk outside your door got your attention. You walk out just as Wanda strolls up to you in her favorite red hoodie and yoga pants.

“You look better than I do” Wanda giggles

“Come on” you smirk, “you could make a 50s sitcom outfit look amazing”

Wanda actually blushes. “So where to?”

“Wanna grab a burger and shake?”

“Sure thing, Hufflepuff”

“I’m surprised you’re not wearing your Slytherin scarf” you shoot back.

“Hufflepuffs and Slytherin only cause mayhem together” Wanda socks your arm playfully.

“Then let’s cause some tonight” you laugh.

You and Wanda make your way to the local diner. Wanda just about devours her whole chocolate shake.

“It’s been forever since I had one of these” Wanda practically moans as the shake runs down her throat.

“I missed these times” you admit. “I know you got the popular crowd now-“

“I could never sideline you” Wanda interrupts. “Nat and Yelena are fun but I can’t talk with them about the things we talk about”

“I don’t mind” you shrug. “I still see you every now and then. It’s not like you’re on Mars.”

“I missed our hangouts too.” Wanda shrugs “I feel like I changed so much”

“Oh really? Favorite vinyl?”

“Florence and the Machine. Lungs. Dog Days are Over”

“Okay. Favorite show?”

“Dick Van Dyke Show”

“Favorite movie?”

“Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”

You smile, “sounds like the same old Wanda to me”

“Wanna hit the record shop?” Wanda bats her eyes at you.

“I was hoping you’d ask”

You and Wanda make your way to the records shop. You spend the next hour rocking out to old vinyls and just enjoying one another’s company. Wanda felt so free. No cliques. No standards. Just her and you, allowed to be yourselves.

Your last stop was the movies. You just bought the closest showing you could. The movie was terrible but laughing along with Wanda made it worth watching.

It was close to midnight when Wanda pulled up to your house. Wanda didn’t want the night to end. Something about being with you just felt right.

“I had fun tonight” you smile at your best friend. Wanda giggles in response.

“Glad I could get you out of your shell, Hufflepuff” she laughs.

“I wouldn’t mind doing it again, Slytherin. Maybe next time we could have a Harry Potter marathon”

“I’ll bring the popcorn and soda” Wanda giggles.

“Well I’ll see tomorrow Wanda.” You walk up the steps of your house. Part of you doesn’t want this night to end either. You turn and look back at the young witch.

You look at her, she looks at you. And for the second time in a long time, Wanda feels a certain longing in her heart. A longing for you to come back down those steps and kiss her.

Sadly you walk up and into your house. What Wanda didn’t know was the strong urge you felt to go back down and kiss her goodnight.

As she walks away from your house that night, all Wanda could think was of how good she and you fit together. She could spend a whole lifetime with you and never grow tired. Well Tony did have that party coming up next week. An idea was brewing in that young witch’s mind.

Tags: @aloneodi @lifespectator @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @supercorpdanbeau @scarletwitch-n7 @deafeningsharkslimeempath @kingofthelizardpeople @jacelion @family-house-of-m

[kakiastro]

Jupiter Gemini: Abundance of Information

Jupiter will enter Gemini on May 25th until June 9, 2025

After being in the earthly sign of Taurus, it moves into air sign.

So what does this mean for the collective?

- we are going to be talking!!!! 🗣️There’s going to be an abundance of idea and everyone is going to want their voices heard. On one hand this is good because new ideas that can further the collective, however, there’s going to be a lot of not so good ideas being brought up. Be prepared to see lots of ignorant statements, people being more vulgar in public.

-we are going to be talking a lot about wanting to find close knit communities, Gemini rules over our local communities. More people talking about moving abroad and getting their passports will be huge themes. We may start seeing lots of people talk about there experiences in their new neighborhoods

-friendships and people trying to find new besties to hang with. There’s going to be an overwhelming need of wanting to find loyal friends. On the other hand, you may lots of public friend feuds. Jupiter rules over law and court, friends suing each other. Gemini rules over rumors and gossip, so people spreading rumors about their friends.

-lots of stories about co-workers and the people you work with. People marrying their co-worker since Jupiter is one of the marriage planets.

-siblings. Working with/for siblings, siblings going to/back to college. Your siblings going through some legal issues. Siblings traveling together, re-connecting and bonding. Siblings feuds such as suing each other. Traveling with our siblings

- Jupiter is one of the father archetypes and it rules over husbands, brothers and grandfathers. Gemini rules over our cousins and uncles and aunts. Pay attention because these people in your life is going to have a lot to say. They may be more vocal about their beliefs and ideals, some may even surprise you in a good or bad way.

-our minds are going to be heavily stimulated from the amount of information that’s going to be thrown at us. I’m not even just talking about the media but just in everyday life lol. With Pluto Aquarius, it’s going to be a lot of stuff being revealed to the public. Some of these things might not be good. so please don’t burn yourself out because it can be too much. Gemini placements, especially you because Jupiter is in your sign.

-Jupiter rules over worldly events, I predict we will hear about more things going on overseas. I’m not just talking about ongoing events such as Palestine-Israel or Ukraine but I imagine we’re going to be hearing or be more self aware about other things going on in the world. Again, it could get overwhelming so don’t burn yourself out yall. This also includes word leaders.

-religion/religious figures. Jupiter rules over religion and churches. I can’t help but wonder if some sort of public scandal comes out about some religious figures. People discussing religion and the impact it’s had on the public. People wanting to find the truth. What’s truth vs what’s fiction will definitely be hot topics. There’s going to some controversial topics so heads up. People in your life may talk about religion such as religious trauma or their personal religious beliefs. People are about to be very outspoken in a way I don’t think we’ve seen before, I’m already seeing it after reading Billie Eilish interview 😅

-writers/authors. As a writer myself, I think this is going to be a good time for aspiring authors to start or publish their projects. The writing community is in an odd space since the rise of Ai and scammers making AI books, there’s a lot of uncertainty in the air. With that being said, the good news is that the general public is still very much interested in books written by real people so if you want to write and publish, do it!

-completely random but legs and running may be topics. People talking about best places to jog or run. Leg exercises may be another topic. Running marathons, people running there first one or winning their first, I predict an inspiring story to come out this summer. You know, I forgot the Olympics is this year so track and field runners will be heavily in the media.

-this is definitely a think before you speck transit and I know so many people are about fail that lesson😭. We’re all going to have to apply the rule thumper mama told him from Bambi “If you don’t have nothing nice to say, don’t say it all” 😅

-Teachers/Education. Possible teacher strikes or more teachers speaking out about their current frustration about the system. I predict the educational system to be completely reviewed and lots of changes are going to be made. I believe people are going to pursue different routes of education for their kids, especially those with disabled children. Teacher strikes wouldn’t surprise me. More College adults seeking education overseas than here. Speaking of college adults, there’s been a lot of protesting on campuses happening and I don’t see that stopping, if anything, it’s going to enhance even further. Perhaps even globally.

-transportations. Now I’m not entirely sure how this going to play out but people who work transportation make speak out about unfair work conditions or their could also be strikes. On the flip side, more people will buying or looking to buy cars. Cars from overseas may be hot topics. Trains stations, bus stops, bike trails may be topics.

These are the main themes of this topics. To see how it affects you personally, look at the house Gemini rules.

[warnersister]

INSTAMAGINE: DANNY RIC DATING AN ELITE RUNNER

Daniela Ricciardo x Reader

Daniel Ricciardo x Runner! Reader

youruser

youruser: Sunshine track sesh with team? Yes pls😍

📍: local track

🏷️: emmajanelbates, nikerunning

❤️: danielricciardo, emmajanelbates, nikerunning and 23,421 others

💬:

emmajanelbates: last rep was too hot🥲

❤️: 7,892

-> youruser: emmajanelbates thought the track was going to melt tbh

❤️: 6,235

nikerunning: new shoes Y/n? 👀

❤️: 7,245

-> youruser: nikerunning you know it 🤭

❤️: 7,132

redbullracing: if you needed a new set of tyres we’d recommend Pirelli over Nike😏

❤️: 18,242

-> runningblog: redbullracing wrong sport much? 😭

❤️: 4,185

-> ynlnrunningfan: redbullracing Where’d you guys come from🤣

❤️: 3,274

youruser with nnrunningteam

youruser: training with the elites in Kenya🇰🇪 for 4 weeks now stronger & wiser while running alongside the best🙏 never thought I’d get this incredible opportunity, watch this space for upcoming racing announcements👀🏃‍♀️

📍: Ngong hills

🏷️: nnrunningteam, sifanhassan, peresjepchirchirngeno

❤️: kipchogeeliud, sifanhassan, danielricciardo and 82,746 others

💬:

nnrunningteam: train with the best to become the best🙏 our job is done

❤️: 79,268

-> youruser: nnrunningteam beyond grateful for this opportunity

❤️: 82,129

maxverstappen1: danielricciardo she’s faster than you now

❤️: 83,256

-> danielricciardo: maxverstappen1 I’ll run after her any day of the week😍

❤️: 83,667

-> user1: maxverstappen1 do you guys know which sport you’re in? 😭

❤️: 42,142

-> ynnews: user1 no idea what is happening with the F1 drivers here🤔🤔

❤️: 32,442

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: vibes are immaculate

📍: Boston Marathon

🏷️: bostonmarathon

❤️: redbullracing, youruser, bostonmarathon and 367,498 others

💬:

redbullracing: #certified WAG Daniel

❤️: 365,232

-> danielricciardo: redbullracing I’m loving the stay at home wife life xxxx

❤️: 352,435

maxverstappen1: “you’re doing a great job hun”

❤️: 363,242

-> danielricciardo: maxverstappen1 got the drinks and snacks ready for the finish line

❤️: 360,135

youruser: 🤍

❤️: 365,890

-> danielricciardo: youruser ❤️❤️

❤️: 365,275

-> user1: youruser W H A T

❤️: 24,562

-> dannyfan: WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT HUH WHAT

❤️: 13,245

youruser

youruser: Boston. Tomorrow we race.

📍: Boston Marathon Start Line

🏷️: nnrunningteam, bostonmarathon, nikerunning

❤️: nnrunningteam, bostonmarathon, danielricciardo and 687,201 others

💬:

nnrunningteam: it comes down to tomorrow

❤️: 429,873

kipchogeeliud: see you on the start line. We know what you are capable of. 🙏

❤️:680,764

-> youruser: kipchogeeliud 🙏🧡

❤️:680,522

danielricciardo: 10 miles at 5min/km surely isn’t an easy run

❤️: 681,243

-> youruser: danielricciardo “oh no I want to come” “I won’t struggle I’m a racing driver it’s only running” - daniel via famous last words

❤️: 682,435

-> danielricciardo: youruser shush

❤️: 681,423

-> youruser: danielricciardo your words, not mine 🤷‍♀️

❤️: 680,921

-> ynelite: danielricciardo WHAT HAVE I MISSED A WHOLE BOOK?!?!

❤️: 72,352

-> f1newz: danielricciardo WHO WHAT WHY WHERE AND WHEN?!?!

❤️: 64,839

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: don’t like the shake out runs but I’ll certainly take the Boston milkshakes😋🥛

📍: Boston Shake Shack

🏷️: bostonshakeshack

❤️: bostonshakeshack, bostonmarathon, youruser and 872,149 others

💬:

bostonshakeshack: please serving two of the best 😉

❤️: 823,164

-> user1: bostonshakeshack TWO????? IS HE WITH YN????

❤️: 72,353

landonorris: yum.

❤️: 860,924

-> maxverstappen1: landonorris ur a child

❤️: 859,374

maxverstappen1: danielricciardo don’t get fat

❤️: 871,424

-> danielricciardo: maxverstappen1 I’m carb loading😤

❤️: 872,043

-> maxverstappen1: danielricciardo to WATCH a race??? 🤨🤨

❤️: 870,923

youruser

youruser: carbin’ up😋😋

📍: Boston Shake Shack

🏷️: bostonshakeshack

❤️: danielricciardo, bostonshakeshack, ynelite and 562,903 others

💬:

bostonshakeshack: our fave❤️

❤️: 540,724

-> youruser: bostonshakeshack forever and unbeaten love you and I❤️😋

❤️: 552,326

danielricciardo: 😋😋😋

❤️: 560,274

-> youruser: danielricciardo😋😍

❤️: 560,213

redbulldanny: THATS DANIELS HAND, THEY’RE DATING I SWEAR

❤️: 52,252

user2: same milkshakes as Danny Ric??? It’s official.

❤️: 49,853

youruser

youruser: Boston, the city, the people, the life - you are kind❤️ Race number on and I am ready. Bring it on.

📍: Hopkinton

🏷️: bostonmarathon

❤️: bostonmarathon, emmajanelbates, kipchogeeliud and 2,921,520 others

💬:

danielricciardo: forever proud of you no matter what.

❤️: 784,382

bostonmarathon: the debut.

❤️: 624,924

nnrunningteam: show them what you are made of!!

❤️: 524,572

redbullracing: good luck yn!!!🥰

❤️: 482,972

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: here for you and only you. We know what you can do, my love. ❤️

📍: Boston Marathon Finish Line

🏷️: bostonmarathon

❤️: bostonmarathon, maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 6,349,242 others

💬:

redbullracing: awww he’s smitten

❤️: 5,892,264

-> danielricciardo: redbullracing obvi🤭🙄

❤️: 5,920,247

user1: they’re defo dating

❤️: 56,824

-> user2: user1 100%

❤️: 49,735

maxverstappen1: you cold yet? (+ good luck Mrs Ricciardo)

❤️: 6,278,930

-> danielricciardo: maxverstappen1 adrenaline keeping me warm I’m so nervous for her

❤️: 6,242,924

bostonmarathon: some celeb on celeb action we love to see it!!🥰

❤️: 5,834,024

bostonmarathon

bostonmarathon: history has been made. 2:17:54

📍: Boston Marathon Finish Line

🏷️: youruser

❤️: danielricciardo, youruser and 15,678,235 others

💬:

emmajanelbates: THE BEST

❤️: 12,342,947

nnrunningteam: unbeatable.

❤️: 12,296,285

danielricciardo: WOOOOOOOOO

❤️: 13,582,582

read other 12,362,273 comments

danielricciardo

danielricciardo: A fucking record breaker❤️ been keeping this quiet for almost a year but this woman, my woman, my love, my life, has just make fucking history. I love you, my sweet, speedy girl. @/youruser

📍: Boston Marathon Finish Line

🏷️: bostonmarathon, youruser

❤️: youruser, bostonmarathon, redbullracing and 18,253,295 others

💬:

redbullracing: she can have your seat next season

❤️: 17,654,974

-> danielricciardo: redbullracing she took my heart, might as well have my seat too.

❤️: 17,748,194

emmajanelbates: you better make her feel like the fucking Queen she is.

❤️: 16,375,284

-> danielricciardo: emmajanelbates believe me, once the DOMS are gone, I will. 😉

❤️: 17,274,294

youruser: couldn’t have done it without you❤️ I love you

❤️: 18,124,724

-> danielricciardo: youruser so proud my sweet girl❤️

❤️: 17,824,924

part 2?

[louderthanheels]

New Year, New Me? Oh, Please!

New Year’s Eve. That famous night when we all pretend we actually enjoy champagne, that glitter isn’t pure hell when you’re still finding it in your bed in February, and that our makeup will last all night until morning – even though we all know what it really looks like five minutes past midnight. And then it happens – the moment when the world splits into two groups. One sets resolutions, planning to finally “improve their lives,” and the other… well, they’ve already given up and are ordering a second pizza. Guess which one I belong to?

When I was younger, the idea of “New Year, New Me” fascinated me. I even believed it! I’d write a list of resolutions that read like the perfect daughter’s Christmas wish list: Lose weight. Start running. Stop buying new shoes every month. Quit eating chips at midnight. Or the really absurd ones: Stop eating chocolate. And every time, it ended the same way – my running shoes got as much action as the Christmas tree in the attic, while I sipped prosecco, asking myself, “Why the hell did I want to run when taxis exist?”

This year, I’m over it. No “New Me.” Because you know what? I’m already good enough. Sure, I sometimes forget the names of people I’ve just met, my closet occasionally looks like it’s been hit by a tornado, and my hair has more “bad hair days” than not, but why should I wait for a new year to change any of that? If I want to improve something, I’ll just do it. Tomorrow. Or the day after. Or… well, probably never.

Resolutions are just a trap to ruin your mood right at the start of the year. They’re designed to make you feel like a failure when you don’t follow through. But the truth is, it’s not me who failed – it’s the whole concept. Life isn’t about perfect plans – it’s about surviving Mondays without breaking down, making it through Friday night in heels, and finding a lipstick that actually lasts the whole party. And trust me, none of these are found in resolutions.

Instead, I’ve got something better: wishes. Not a list, not a plan. Just something that makes me happy and helps me enjoy the next year. Last year, my wish was “enjoy every day.” Sometimes, that meant turning off my alarm and sleeping until noon. Other times, it meant ordering chicken noodles from the local bistro instead of cooking. Or ignoring that pile of clothes on the chair. After all, chairs are supposed to be multifunctional, right?

The New Year should be a celebration of who we are, not who we think we should become. So this year? No “New Me” – because the old one’s pretty great. No “I’ll run a marathon” or “I’ll eat only organic.” My wish will be simple. Maybe “wear more red lipstick” or “drink more coffee.” Something realistic, something that actually brings me joy. Because if New Year’s Eve has taught me anything, it’s that life isn’t about perfection – it’s about surviving another day with a bit of humor, a touch of elegance, and a glass of prosecco on the table.

So if you’re setting resolutions this year, go for it. But I’ll be popping open some champagne and raising a glass to you. And if you ask me what my resolution is, I’ll tell you honestly: “To survive. But make it stylish.”

[coochiequeens]

Another older male athlete who is now competing agaonst women. He didnt qualify to compete against men his age. Even though he could have been placed in the non-binary category. I just hope he leaves the "sexy bee" outfit home.

By Amy Hamm December 29, 2024

A trans-identified male who previously sued a spa for not allowing him to bathe with women has announced that he has been accepted to compete as a “woman” in the 2025 Boston Marathon. Riya Young Suising, born Robert Chien Hwa Young, has placed on the winner’s podium at multiple women’s running competitions.

Suising, 57, celebrated his qualification in the race via Facebook with his confirmation email from the 129th Boston Marathon: “Yay! 15th Boston next April, and I barely made it in this time,” he wrote. He has qualified for the female category. The race is set to take place in April 2025. 

Yay! 15th Boston next April, and I barely made it in this time.

The Boston Marathon has age and gender qualification categories. Genders include male, female, and “non-binary.” Notably, the “non-binary” category has identical qualifying times as the corresponding female categories.

In Suising’s case, he had to demonstrate a time of 4 hours and 5 minutes or less; Suising qualified with a time of 4 hours, 1 minute, and 27 seconds. Had he been forced to compete with other males he would not have qualified for the marathon, as participants in the men’s category are required to meet a 3 hour and 35 minute performance cutoff. 

Suising has been competing in women’s running since at least 2010, and has also participated in female dance classes at the San Jose Dance Theatre. In addition to being a flight attendant with United Airlines, he works as a part-time massage therapist and Zumba instructor.

Suising competed in the 2024 San Francisco Marathon dressed in a “sexy” bumble bee costume, complete with black nylons and a mini skirt. He wore the same outfit in previous races, including a 2017 New York City Marathon and in a 2018 Los Angeles Rock and Roll Half Marathon. He also competed in the female category of the 2024 California International Marathon on December 8. 

In a since-deleted Facebook post from 2015, the Palo Alto Run Club announced that Suising was seen taking second place in the women’s category of the Brazen Racing half marathon, seizing a $500 prize. 

Suising has also won at least two other women’s running prizes, including taking second place at the 2015 Jed Smith 50K, and third place at the 2013 Ruth Anderson Memorial Endurance Run.

In November of this year, Beth Bourne, an advocate for women’s rights and safety, recognized Suising as one of her attendants on a United Airlines flight from San Francisco to Mexico. Bourne had previously competed against Suising at multiple races in Northern California, including the 2014 Golden Gate Park cross-country women’s race.

“I first saw this man in our local racing scene here in the San Francisco/Sacramento area in 2013. It made me so uncomfortable seeing him dressed up as a woman—but I didn’t know what was happening. So I said nothing… [It’s] awful that the race directors let him compete in the women’s category, as it impacted individual and team scoring,” said Bourne.

“I find it misogynistic and degrading to see men pretending to be women, so I was upset to see a male trans-identified United Airlines flight attendant on my recent flight. As a paying customer, I don’t believe my speech should not be compelled when talking to other passengers, including my boyfriend who was seated next to me, about this flight attendant.”

Bourne says she felt particularly concerned because she was aware of a recent incident involving another United customer whose family had been removed from a flight for allegedly “misgendering” a flight attendant.

“If men want to dress up as women in the privacy of their own home that is fine – if United Airlines wants to employ men dressing up as women outside of the view of paying customers, that might also be a different circumstance but in this instant, flying between San Francisco and Mexico City, I was being held hostage to having to participate in this man’s fetish.”

On X, Bourne announced that she requested a refund from United Airlines, describing Suising’s in-flight behavior as “degrading and misogynistic to women” and noting that he had been wearing a name tag with “she/her” pronouns listed. Bourne says she has not received any communications from the company regarding her complaint.

On Suising’s participation in the Boston Marathon, Bourne says she is upset that he has been allowed to compete in the women’s category.

“The qualifying time for men in the 55-60 age group is 3:30 and 4:00 for women. Likely he would never be able to make the men’s time standard but by declaring himself a ‘woman’ he can steal a coveted spot that was meant for a woman,” Bourne says.

“I’ve competed in several international marathons, including the Boston Marathon in 2010, so I know this it’s a big deal to qualify for a spot. I’m also super disappointed that the captured Boston Athletic Association has a ‘non-binary’ division, which of course is predominantly men winning all of the top spots across all age groups.”

Biological males have won in the non-binary category both years it has been offered by the marathon, and with the accommodation of trans-identified males in the women’s category, it provides men three opportunities to take top spot.

[womenties]

Jamming it up in Roller Derby

Had I been in this rink before? If so, it was back in Junior high school in the late 1970s, when roller skating added music, lights, and fun to a teen’s life. If you were lucky, the rink dimmed the overhead lights so strobes and fluorescent lighting illuminated the ground where your quad skates slid across the wooden floor. But today was 2024 and this ole 59’er hadn’t tried roller skating since she was a teen, making this new sport of Roller Derby an interesting prospect. The thing that happens as you approach your sixth decade of life is your center of weight shifts as your weight increases. Sure, I run half marathons, but that’s easy when your feet hit the pavement and nothing is rolling beneath you. I think my last 8-mile run, which took over an hour, was easier than standing on roller skates for one hour. New experiences give you realistic points of view you wouldn’t gain otherwise.

So, there I was, along with one other 50-year-old woman celebrating her birthday by trying roller derby, and twenty 20- and 30-year-olds, prime for the adventure. The women there were fantastic – friendly, some apprehensive like me, some excellent at the sport already, and accepting of all others in the room. No matter your size, age, gender identification, or skill, every woman was welcome, just like rugby. The Central New York Roller Derby organization based in my hometown of Rome, NY was well organized and coached. Their leaders made sure we had the essential equipment on – helmet, elbow pads, mouth guards, wrist guards, knee pads, and quad skates. For $50, you get all the rented equipment plus eight weeks of lessons and activity making it a reasonably priced sport to try. They were patient and helpful with the newbies.

Like every sport, we began with warmups. I particularly liked doing pushups and sit-ups with roller skates on. It added some weight to the exercises. Then it was time to stand up and try gliding on the skates. I say this with the hesitation that’s intended. It takes a while to find your center of gravity and fearlessness to push off, glide, and stop without falling down. Okay, I did fall two times until I figured out to lean forward not back in my stance. Like anything in life, you have to adjust to new centers of balance. Then we got off our skates and learned about the key derby positions of jammers and blockers and did a few activities like getting into positions as blockers to stop the jammers and how to become a pivot blocker if you receive the jammer star/cover when it is handed to you. What I learned only from this small exercise is I need to watch a YouTube video on roller derby to piece it all together so I understand it better the next time I try it. I did this before trying rugby and it helped my comprehension level immediately. Don’t call it necessary due to my age, but rather because I learn best by seeing, and not hearing.

As our two-hour stint came to an end, we gathered for a group photo as buddies who experienced something new and fun for the first time. I vowed to go back next week to try it again since I felt it needed more time to say I tried the sport. I already have a new group of Syracuse roller derby sisters who want to carpool to Rome and a new roller derby name to try out – Pinky Habanero. Every roller derby chick has a nickname. I met Squash, BAM, Dead, Sunshine, Meli, and more. All I can tell you is if you want to feel young again (in some ways) and old (in other ways), try out roller derby at your local skating rink. Put on those four quads, helmet, and find your center of balance, smile, give yourself a badass name, and get into the rink. I promise you’ll smile, laugh at yourself, and even realize you can be humble, and somewhat graceful while trying something new.

[undignifiend]

Some Kinda Ogre People Who've Been On My Mind Since Forever (Some Worldbuilding Notes)

(The same general idea of these folks has followed me throughout my life, with a few changes over time, and I still can't settle on a name I like just yet. I want to try and sum them up in a way that is conducive to fine-tuning them in ways I like, and will also keep my portrayal of them consistent when I finally jump back into art and writing for them. Includes vore and safevore notes because of course.)

BIOLOGY

SIZE, SHAPE, and BASIC CHARACTERISTICS

Adults stand at a range of heights, most commonly between 12 and 16 feet tall, but with outliers. Proportionally, they have longer arms and shorter legs than your standard human. They can run on all fours, or bipedally, and climb with ease.

They possess horns, fangs, and talon-like claws. Their skin/hide and flesh are gray to taupe and every shade in between (up to and including black and white), and they often possess darker or paler markings, stripes, or mottled patterns.

Their blood is as black as ink, and has very faint iridescent/violet qualities under certain lighting. Blushing/exertion makes their faces/ears darker instead of redder.

Their feet are partially adapted to help them climb, with longer toes, and the ‘big toe’ acting as more of a thumb. Their foot structure is still robust enough to withstand a flat-out run or charge, especially on all fours, but they’re better sprinters and leapers than marathoners. They find stubbing a toe to be every bit as devastating as we do.

Their grip strength is stupid. They're natural climbers, and can fall asleep clinging to rock walls. God help you if one grabs you in a fight. 

SENSES

Their sclera tends to be dark, often black, but ranging through dark blue, red, or violet hues. Their irises can be nearly any color. Their pupils are slitted, and they also possess a tapetum lucidum that reflects a coppery colored light in the dark, improving their night vision. They don’t need a lot of light to see, are comfortable underground, and tend to find cloudless days overpowering. Their color sight is comparable to ours, and varies. Some are more adept at detecting subtle nuances between close colors, and some are colorblind. Regardless, their vision tends to be very sharp, and they’re highly adept at detecting motion, even from great distances (at night or on cloudy days).

Full sun is unpleasant for them - they have to rely on their other senses, or wear eye-shading headgear to be effective. Flash grenades piss them off (and blind them until their retinas regenerate). Some can learn to enjoy fireworks, but most quickly get tired of the after-images overlapping everything else in their vision.

They can operate without sight, but they are far more comfortable doing so underground, or in enclosed spaces, where their hearing can better make sense of their environment. (They can emit a subtle clicking from their throat to enhance this. And also tend to use it out during the day if they have no protective eye-gear.) And while they tend to feel at home in caves and caverns, they typically only rest there during the day, and venture out at night. Generally nocturnal, but like humans, will stay up at odd hours.

It's rare for one to be unable to recover from damage to their eyes. But sometimes it happens. Blind ones rely all the more on that clicking to echolocate.

Their sense of smell is also fucking stupid. They can identify a bunch of shit about you just from getting a whiff: Whether or not you have any sickness or deficiencies, whether or not you're injured, your relative age, your recent diet, hormonal fluctuations, current stress levels - a whole slew of crap. Some of that also counts for plants, too, which can help indirectly tell them about the local weather, stresses on local wildlife, polluting chemicals, and other environmental conditions to look out for.

REGENERATION

They can regenerate lost limbs and organs if given enough time and energy. Their “scars” don’t work the same way ours do. After an injury clots and seals, a translucent skin develops over it, and dark branches appear beneath as their blood vessels and capillaries supply the regenerating flesh.

Regenerating a finger can take about a week. A limb, or an important organ, about a month to fully recover, provided they have enough rest, and enough to eat.

Their lifespans are extensive, and while they do not age in quite the same way that most other lifeforms do, "imperfections" in their regeneration can collect over time. Some of these don't hinder them in any way, and some of them do.

Some of them like to tattoo along a former injury to commemorate it.

DIET / VORE SHENANIGANS

Biologically, they’re omnivorous opportunists, can survive on either plant or animal matter, and have a preference for cooking. While their immune systems are aggressive, and they usually recover from illness and infections without medical assistance if given adequate hydration and rest, their stomach acids are relatively weak. Scavenging a rotting carcass is possible for them, but not often viewed as worth a day or two of sickness.

While their acids are weaker, their stomachs also rely heavily on churning and grinding, and devoting more time for breakdown before everything moves on to the intestines. This is why cooking/fermenting/otherwise treating their food goes a long way toward making their lives easier - it cuts that time down dramatically. Citrus fruits and teas helpful for digestion are also popular among most of their cultures. 

Their stomachs are prime, uniquely hospitable real estate for all manner of parasites. This is another reason most of them favor cooking.

Their stomachs are extremely tough to withstand their grinding process (and any sharp edges caused by bone breaks), but grinding tough material frequently aches, and often releases endorphins that counter some of the pain. 

In a pinch, they can just swallow their meals quickly, raw or cooked, and digest on the move, but for a couple hours after they eat a big meal, they don't tend to enjoy vigorous activity. Outsiders sometimes get the impression that they are both gluttonous and lazy, for the sheer amount that they can pack away in one sitting, and the stupor they can fall into afterward if they let themselves relax enough.

However, they are highly adaptable. Those who prefer (or perhaps only have access to) uncooked food, over time, can train their stomachs to release higher concentrations of acid. These individuals tend to have more practice fighting through the food coma, too, and tend to recover from it faster.

Their fangs are more for fighting and intimidation displays. Occasionally, for catching prey, but that's mostly regarded as a fancy/immature trick to show off.

Their stomach is a highly complex organ, and fulfills several roles, sometimes simultaneously:

The stomach also regenerates a sophisticated and sensitive innermost lining that recognizes environmental cues, such as excess carbon dioxide, or the movement and rhythms of a living creature, and delivers oxygen from the circulatory system, while absorbing carbon dioxide. Skin contact with the lining exchanges nutrients and cellular information about sickness and injury the “guest” may have. In return, the lining communicates with the "host’s" body to help grant the guest what they need to overcome whatever danger they are in, from a rash to poison to broken bones. (The bones need to be set properly first though. Otherwise, they’ll heal at an accelerated pace, but the healed bone would be shaped wrong.) Through this process, and ‘disguised’ donated cells from the host, the guest can heal as efficiently as the host can, and with sufficient time (often broken up into separate sessions), can even regenerate from wounds they would not have healed from on their own.

Their stomachs make some noise while preparing to stretch. Some secreted chemicals in there (and in their saliva) during this time have a soothing, analgesic effect for the “guest”.

It has a calming effect on the host. Easier to think rationally, harder to get or stay angry. Though, not impossible, especially when protective instincts are involved.

They can digest and host at the same time, but how this goes generally depends on whether eating or hosting happened first.

If they host someone and then eat a big meal that they intend to digest, the stomach will prioritize the safety of the guest, and won’t grind away the lining. The pH will hover at around 5 or 6, comparable to the acidity of tomato juice or milk. The guest then takes over the grinding processes by moving around in all the food. It feels incredible to the host, who is accustomed to digestion usually being a somewhat painful process. With nothing but (relatively) gentle, warm movements inside, it’s an addictively soothing alternative. Comparable to a really good bubble bath, but from inside them.

If they eat a big meal before swallowing a live guest, they will likely hurt the guest. (Especially after the half-hour mark from when they started their meal, when the lining tends to be almost completely gone.) The stomach will recognize live movement and increased carbon dioxide, and stop its grinding processes, but neutralizing the acid already there will take time, and regenerating the lining will take time - possibly too long to save the guest if the guest isn’t coughed up soon. 

On that note, swallowing someone when the lining is gone (or mostly gone) will inflict intense nausea on the host - they’d have to fight hard not to throw up. If the captor manages to keep their captive down, the captive will suffocate to death and the digestive processes will start up again once the stomach no longer senses any living contents. Even a partially regenerated lining will help protect the captive by providing some oxygen - possibly enough to save them, but it’s a dangerous gamble. Swallowed air can help in the meantime, or extend the torture.

This is not a popular torture tactic or execution method. The torture is mutual. That said, some individuals can keep live food down casually, to the point where they don’t feel nauseated anymore. This usually means they’ve had a lot of dedicated practice, and is regarded as either an unthinkable cruelty or a vicious party trick, depending on the individuals and local inter-species politics.

Best to wait at least three hours after the host has had their latest solid meal, when the lining has mostly recovered.

Their bodies can instinctively recognize potential guests that they form close emotional bonds with. They tend to develop a specific craving for them, and the protective response from the lining tends to be all the more intense for bonded guests in particular, with it swelling to more of a cushion-like state as it works toward ensuring that they have what they need to survive in there. Movement inside feels all the more pleasant to the host in this state, as the swelling comes with a different sort of ache, and though it is far milder than the grinding-ache, massaging the lining in this state brings a sense of euphoric comfort and can further intensify their emotional attachment. Smelling sickness or blood from a bonded guest tends to give a potential host intense cravings, instinctively wanting to improve the guest's survival odds. If they can resist putting their bonded in their stomach, they're going to bury them in a nest of supplies. And chase off anyone they perceive as a bother.

Eating food near a bonded guest will cause their instincts to slow the digestive grinding and dilute the acids, to the point of possibly giving them indigestion for the sake of keeping the lining intact, in case hosting is on the table. They'll get a distinct craving for pressure and movement inside, and they will have to either put up with the discomfort until they slowly finish digesting, go someplace where they can't sense their bonded, or just host their bonded. 

Those new to the experience might make the mistake of gorging themselves in hopes that a large amount of food will be an adequate substitute. But none of those euphoric chemical exchanges are happening, and the food digests slowly, so they end up bloated and miserable for a while. 

For potential hosts who have to eat near a bonded human who doesn't care for the experience of being hosted, more easily digestible liquid diets tend to be preferred. This way, they'll still get bellyaches, but they won't be as intense, and they'll recover quicker. Whenever they can, they tend to eat in private, or just among their own kind, and pass it off as a "cultural thing" if they want to ease tension. It's less of a disaster than "I like you so much I want you for dessert."

COMBAT

Most of their own unarmed combat methods (against each other) rely heavily on grappling, rolling, jumping on an opponent, twisting them, using their combined weight and limbs as leverage to throw/roll/otherwise bring them down and pin them. Also a lot of biting and head-butting with horns at close quarters to stun. (Or fling, in cases of ramming charges. Due to the kind of force those ramming charges pack, their neck and back muscles are dense enough to make neck-breaks very difficult.) It’s usually very loud, with lots of tearing up the ground and smashing into things. They are also not opposed to using weapons of all sorts.

Where ranged combat is concerned, they are very adept at throwing large rocks unaided. But slings, for greater speed and distance, are also favored. As are javelins. Bows of their size are a bit rarer, but send spear-sized arrows great distances, and punch with the force of a ballista.

A human caught up in fighting one of these guys is likely in for a very bad day. Or night, rather. When up against humans, they tend to prefer attacking at night just because we can't see as well in the dark, and to take advantage of how darkness tends to amplify our fears. And to avoid the hassle of being unable to see in so much sunlight.

For a human, fighting this lot means keeping your distance and tactically outwitting them. If they close in, it's almost guaranteed to be over. Use whatever obstacles you can. A human taking one of them down is possible, but rare.

Due to their size, speed, strength, endurance, regenerative abilities, and climbing prowess, they make for highly prized, flexible troops, to whomever can recruit them. They can navigate rocky/mountainous terrain at unrivaled speed on the ground, fortress walls and barricades rarely keep them out for long, and they are highly effective and tenacious combatants. However, they can also be insubordinate and temperamental, and seldom think twice about trusting their own judgment over a commander's (regardless of the commander's species or their respect for them). If they don't like how a campaign or a mission is being handled, they're likely to try and take over their superior's position, for better or worse. Each individual is unique, but as a notable trend, discipline does not come as easily to them as it does to your average human.

INTER-SPECIES RELATIONS

Most of the bigger species will agree on the general opinion that humans are really cute and really tasty, and picking them up, holding, and/or swallowing them is therapeutic. Getting them to respect their human neighbors' boundaries (or to just respect them at all) is a common issue.

Generally, the more time they spend around humans, the more they see them as people. But still very tasty and adorable people.

In cases where there is little to no competition for resources between local, separate groups, these folks tend to regard interacting with humans as entertaining at best and mildly annoying at worst. This scenario runs the greatest risk of these folk adopting humans as pets.

In cases where there is competition between separate groups, humans don't tend to pose much of a threat to them. Interspecies conflicts are generally over swiftly, with humans almost always on the losing side. This tends to leave exclusively human populations wary and mistrustful of the bigger species. 

Diverse communities tend to thrive and defend themselves much better, have broader skill sets, and are far more common and lasting.

[gwydionmisha]

A Word on Fighting Back in 2024

Way back in the last weeks of 2016, I wrote that this was a marathon, not a sprint, and we are still running, running, running.

We fought tooth and nail as the country slipped further and further into fascism and horror. Thing would have gotten so much worse, so much faster if we hadn't.

Electing a democrat wasn't enough. That can never be enough. As long as the margin is so small in the senate and they hold the house, all we can really do is keep fighting the slide, with are ptrotests, our calls, our texts, and our votes.

Don't let anyone tell you that both parties are the same, because people who say that are lying in the hopes you won't vote. Look at the Supreme court and tell me with a straight face that Roe v. wade would have been repealed by Democratic majority court. Imagine what we could have accomplished with a few more seats in the house keeping it Blue instead of divided government. Look at how Democrats fought for every inch in budget negotiations and preserved as much bodily autonomy as they could without holding the house in budget negotiations. I will take a party that will listen to us any day over one that actively wants us daed and is passing legislation to make that happen.

We need turn out to win. We need people who are progressive to run for office. we need people to actually vote in the primaries. We need people to volunteer for campaigns and the party, and get out the vote. We need honest young people who are willing to be poll workers and election officials despite republican terroristic threats. We need people to vote the whole ticket in every single primary and general, including state and local races. Look at what a big difference fipping the court in an election is making for wisconsin. Look at how big a difference school board races make. Read voter guides. Research on line. VOTE! Get your friends to vote.

Democracy is still on the line and we still need all hands on deck for that. Don't let the ship sink without trying to patch and bail first, all right? Because if we fall, so many of us will die, and the world will be a far worse place.

Remember also, that this is fundamentally a matter of collective action. No one can do it alone. Everyone needs a little rest and self care. Organize. Pick an area or several areas where you are most passionate and do what is within your strength. Take rests when you need to. Make space for fun, as we need "Bread and roses too." Turn out when somethoing is urganbt inside your interest area or not. have each other's backs always, always, always. So often the other side has won because the most priveleged are willing to throw others under the bus in hopes that this will apease the Right. Nothing will ever appease the Right except our total destruction. They just take and take and take. If a group you aren't a part of is underthreat? Signal boost and turn out in support. Protest! Contact congress critters and styate reps.

We hang together or we hang seperately! There are more of us than there are of them. Make that our strength.

May your 2024 be better than 2023!

[sailor-toni]

The Evil Ghost Tyrant wants to Make Me His Heir? But I’m a sixteen year-old halfa!

You can also read this on A03, FF.Net, and Wattpad.

Chapter 1: No More Vegan Fridays

Original Prompt: Pariah Dark decides Danny has all the qualities he wants in an heir and forcibly adopts him. (Danny can either lose the fight to put him back in the Sarcophagus, Pariah can get out again later, or something else can happen.)

    It was a normal day in Amity Park, well as normal as things could get in the nation's most haunted city. The Lunch Lady had made the first ghostly pack with Casper High’s superintendent. He would allow her to curate and serve the menu for the rest of Casper High’s existence, in exchange for protecting the student body from ghosts, the Guys in White, and other threats. And Danny was loving every moment of it. 

For the first time in two years he almost felt normal again. His grades were above a D+, he could eat lunch without worry, and even Dash’s bullying had let up. The Lunch Lady had instituted a no bullying zone in the cafeteria, and would drag any offending student into the kitchen and force them to clean her dishes. Danny could only smile in delight as Dash was dragged through the room, through the lunch line, over the counter, and into the kitchen by a tentacle made of raw frozen meat (It had a plastic glove on the end, which meant it was safe to serve food. Nobody knew if that was true, but who was going to ask, not Danny!). 

It had been a stroke of guinness to suggest the idea to her. And this time Sam didn’t even come up with it first. Nothing could go wrong. 

“That woman is on my last nerve!” Sam slammed her tray on the table. 

“What did Paulina do this time?” Tucker asked between mouthfuls of sloppy joes. 

“It’s not Paulina, it’s the lunch lady, she refuses to accommodate vegetarian or non-meat eating students in her food planning,” Sam grumbled. If Danny’s eyes were not connected to his body, the two balls would roll out of his head and run a marathon. 

“Doesn't she have a salad you can choose instead of the main dish?” Danny said. 

“Half the time the salad has chicken or ham in it,” Sam said. 

“Yeah, Sam, that is what we call a chicken caesar salad or a chef’s salad.”  Tucker began to eat his second sloppy joe. 

“Tucker you know I can’t eat meat, this is discrimination!” 

“No discrimination is if she refused to provide kosher meat, which by the way, she has kosher meat in the back. You just got to ask for it. You just choose to not eat meat.” 

“I choose not to eat meat because it’s the right thing to do for our dying planet! The meat industry contributes more than 60% of greenhouse gasses in all of food production. Your obsession with killing poor animals is causing our planet to die, Tucker.” 

“You know the more you say that the less of an impact it has. Plus my parents split a cow with our neighbor at the local butcher. We don’t buy meat from the store.”

“How privileged of you. Many don’t have that choice, they have to buy from Wally-world and the Buck General.” 

“And how would changing the lunch menu change that?” Tucker bowed his head down and began licking the remaining sloppy joe off the lunch tray. 

“It would be a step in the right direction and -” 

“Tucker, have you ever wondered why every girl rejects you?” Danny had enough of this. 

“I think they are threatened by my manly aura,” Tucker had meat and juice running down his chin and staining his shirt. “Why do you ask?” 

“I was just wondering,” Danny said. 

“Well wonder no longer, for I have a plan for getting a date for junior prom,” Tucker Said. 

“Woah woah woah, don’t try to change the subject! This is a very serious issue!” Sam said. 

“Sam, you have enough money that you could get a vegan dish delivered to the school every day. Why does it matter if she makes sloppy joes once in a while?” Danny said.

“Because, she has no good alternatives for those who don’t have the money to buy lunches from restaurants every day,” 

“What does Paulina think of this?” Tucker asked, washing his face with a pocket wet wipe that appeared to be used. Or maybe they came pre-stained now? 

“One, that is gross. And two, my girlfriend agrees with me. There should be a good alternative for anyone who doesn't want to eat meat.”  

“Didn’t we discuss this two years ago when you convinced the school to do vegan Fridays or something?” Danny said. 

“I know what happened two years ago but this is different. She made a pact with the school to not harm students. So, now she has to listen to reason.” Sam said. 

“Sam, I'm sorry but that’s not gonna happen.” Tucker said. Danny agreed with him, it was hard enough going through the pact talks between the Lunch Lady and the school board. Her having a no meat day? Sam would have a better time convincing a boomer to have empathy.  

“That is where you’re wrong. I have started a petition to convince her to start offering tofu based dishes. I already have fifteen signatures,” Sam held out the paper, and Danny could see that Paulina had made the cheerleading team sign it. 

“I wish you luck,” Danny said. 

“Thank you Danny.” 

“You’re welcome Sam.” 

“Well don’t come to Danny and I when she turns you into next week's lunch,” Tucker said. 

“She can’t harm the students. If a ghost violates a ghostly pact a part of their core breaks off. And for weaker ghosts that could mean a final death,” Danny said. 

“She could wait till graduation day to turn you into ground meat,” 

“You know Tucker, I’ll start taking advice from you when you stop caring around used wet wipes.” 

“I’m being eco-friendly. Reduce, reuse, recycle Sam.” 

“You do know you have to do the last part eventually right? You can’t keep the same rag for more than a week?”

“Don’t worry. This one is only a week old,” Sam and Danny gagged. “I’m joking! I’ve only had this today, and it's still moist! Did you two actually think I would do that?” 

“Do we have to answer that?” Danny sighed. He leaned back on the table’s bench, resting his eyes in a sliver of afternoon sun that shined through the cafeteria’s tall windows. When a shadow came over him, blocking the sunlight. “This is a no bullying zone Dash,” Danny said.. 

“Danny…” Sam said, before leaning over and slapping his shoulder. 

“DANIEL JAMES FENTON, OR SHOULD I SAY YOUNG PHANTOM!” A deep voice boomed over the school. 

    Pariah Dark, King of the Ghost Zone stood at the window, his bleach white face taking up most of the window pane. 

Jumping to his feet Danny yelled, “How did you get out?” 

“CEASE CHILD, FOR I AM NAUGHT HERE FOR BATTLE. NAY, I HAVE COME FOR A REASON OF MY OWN CREATION. NOW LISTEN TO ME, FOR I HAVE GROWN OLD AND WEARY AND WISH TO SEE ANOTHER TAKE OVER IN MY STEAD. A PRINCE OF THE GHOST ZONE THAT WILL CONTINUE MY EFFORTS,” Pariah spoke. 

    Tendrils of frozen glove-covered meat swept across the laminate flooring, shielding students from the sight of the King’s large blood red eyes. From the wall of meat, The Lunch Lady floated towards them, her large green body shaking like a leaf. 

“Your Majesty,” Her voice was small and quiet, for once true to the old woman she was. “I’m afraid I can not allow you to talk to students without their parents permission first. I-I would suggest you go to the main office and sign yourself in. Please!” 

“BEGONE WOMAN, FOR I HAVE NOT GIVEN YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK!” 

“I cannot sir. You m-might be king b-b-buttt…” Her hands were twisted in her dress, sweat began dripping down her face. “You need to follow school rules! The rules are in place to protect the children, and, and, and it’s my jo-b-b to” Pariah’s gaze focused upon her. “Protect them.” Tears freely flowed from her eyes. Danny watched his first real enemy, turned into a babbling old woman, putting on a very brave face.

“YOU DARE TO THREATEN ME? I HAVE NOT COME BRING VIOLENCE AMONG YOU BUT IF THIS FOOLISHNESS PERSIT I WILL BE FORCED TO REMIND YOU WHO IS KING!” 

“How about you pick on someone your own size!” Danny yelled. He stood in front of the old woman, arms ready. 

“I AM MERELY PUTTING HER IN HER PLACE,” 

“Well maybe it's time someone showed you your place!” White rings shined from his waist, and covered his body, turning his clothes into a black jumpsuit and his hair a vibrant white. The cafeteria erupted into murmurs and whispers.  

A red head in the back yelled, “I told y'all so!” 

    This business was quickly left behind as Danny flew through the air, phasing his body through the window and sending a blot of green energy into Pariah’s remaining eye. 

“AUGH! DO YOU NOT LISTEN?” He yelled. 

“According to my teachers, no,” now outside, he could see that the King had to kneel to see through the window. 

    Rising to his full height, the Ghost King stood a head taller than Casper High’s famous clock tower. Danny thought that if the King was a tad taller, his ego would form its own gravitational pull. 

Fire lashed out, spreading through the air. His body twisted around the flames before plugging close to the grass. Black filled his vision as a gloved hand grabbed him. 

“LET ME TEACH YOU YOUR FIRST LESSON!” Pariah said. 

“Can you say that a little louder? I don’t think the Chinese heard you!”

“Sorry. Let this be the first lesson I teach you, to listen when another is speaking,” pariah’s voice dropped several volumes. “I, Pariah Dark, King of the Ghost Zone, wish to name you my heir.” 

“What? Why? I locked you back in that box!” 

“That is one of the reasons I have made this decision. Only you were strong enough to assemble an army of other ghosts, attack my castle, and defeat me. That should be enough to prove your worthiness. Now let us go to my castle. We have many things to discuss and many lessons I must teach you before you take the throne.” 

“How about no! I’m only sixteen! I haven’t even gotten my driver's license yet!”

“You will not need any human tools in the Ghost Zone.” 

“I haven’t graduated high school yet!” 

“Fright Knight can teach you about battle strategies and the castle has many books on politics.” 

“Well… I deny your claim!” Danny’s eyes shot green bolts into Pariah’s hand. With a shout Danny was free from his grasp. “And I refuse to be your Heir!” 

“I am offering you control over the entire Ghost Zone boy!” 

“And I said no! I'd rather hang out with the Box Ghost!” 

“One day you will change your mind boy! And I will be waiting!” Pariah’s body was engulfed in flames, his form disappeared in its bright light before the flames extinguished themselves. 

“I didn’t think it would be that easy,” He mumbled to himself. 

“FENTON! Or wait, PHANTOM! No, augh, Moby Dick, DANIEL FENTON PHANTOM! GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I GIVE YOU A YEAR'S WORTH OF DETENTION!” Lancer screamed from the ground. 

“Oh boy. I’m in for it now.” 

---

    BANG! BOOM! SHREECHH! Legacies had to be maintained and preserved for future generations. Which require vigorous upkeep and gentle care, both had been neglected in Castle Dark for over a thousand years. Skeleton warriors and unlucky ghosts had been forced into its reconstruction. They filled the empty halls with a calamity of sounds and dust. Tarps covered anything that was worth protecting. A few Skeletons had started a burn pile in the dead garden. The fire was fueled by decaying furniture, tapestries, mold filled books, and dead plants. 

    Pariah stood at his balcony observing the flames below. His black armor had been replaced with a black undershirt and black leggings. While time had taken its toll on the castle, Pariah's all black wardrobe had survived. The royal chambers had not, and everything was replaced with items he ransacked from the older halfa’s domain. The gaudy green and golds were thrown into vats of black dye, before they were allowed to be in his castle. Whatever couldn’t be dyed was painted gold. Pariah examined his new room, and while he did not understand what memory foam was, he enjoyed the feel of it upon his back. Too bad its previous owner was not something the king enjoyed. Pariah thought the older halfa was a conniving rat, sneaking its way into power and posing whoever got in his way. Killing with poison or other sneaky means was below Pariah, he preferred to fight in an open battlefield. Where he could see the life drain from his enemies eyes. 

If only the younger halfa would let him teach him this. Pariah sighed, for the announcement had gone terribly. He had considered smacking the boy but according to the Fright Knight, this day and age frowned upon beating children. Speaking of the Knight. 

“Fright Knight!” Pariah called. 

“Yes, your Highness?” The knight appeared in a haze of purple smoke and flames. His armor carried on the ends of his smoke trails, waiting for its owner to reassemble itself before the master of the castle. 

“I require your advice once again. For I went to young Phantom and proclaimed his right to rule. Yet the boy rejected me! What does your book tell of situations like this?” 

“The book? Let me see,” Fright Knight pulled a white book from the depth of his shadows. Its cover read “How to Discipline your Children without Spanking or Hitting” in bright blue letters. “It says that if a child is of the age to be reasoned with, one should try to reason with the child, walking them through the pros and cons of a situation. One should also be open to feedback and comments the child might make. For a child will not follow a situation that does not benefit them as well.” 

“I do not understand. Prince is the second highest title in all of the Ghost Zone, no other would deny such a request.” 

“The young can be quite foolish you Highness, maybe if you explained to him what a privilege this chance is? The young today like to have things laid out for them. It may also be good to mention that he would not be able to freely leave the Ghost Zone once the coronations happen.” 

“I can already foresee him objecting to that.”

“But if you let him know now, he is more likely to trust you. Plus it might be good if you let your wife and husband know before you bring the boy here.” 

“I am sure my husband already knows, and if he had any objections he would’ve shown himself by now. As for my wife, I find it easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Additionally her and the young Phantom are similar enough that I foresee them getting along quite well.” 

“Before or after her anger resides?” 

“I- '' Pariah’s word drawled out into an unsure silence. “I have already destroyed the sarcophagus of forever sleep, and I doubt she would actually kill me.” 

“Your Highness, the Queen would never attack your core. But I fear her words are much sharper than her flames. As for your husband, I have heard rumors that he is mentoring the young Phantom.” 

“That is probably why he has not interfered yet, Fright Knight. He is waiting for me to bring the child into our family. Once the two of them apologize for locking me in that damn box.” 

“Your Highness may I be blunt with you?” 

“Depends on how blunt you intend to be?” 

“Then I will conceal my comments.” 

“A wise choice. Now before Phantom comes we will need to pick a title for him. Each Ghost King has had a title. Solomon was the blessed, Caesar was the Terrible, Wu Zetian the graceful, TenKamenin the Great, and myself the Dark one. Phantom will need a title that describes him,” Pariah said. 

“Sir, you forgot King Henry the tiny.”

“I will not acknowledge the fool who dared to try and steal the throne from me.”  

“Of course, my liege, forget my words. May I suggest Prince Phantom the white? It would contrast your title of dark.” 

“No, my heir must have a more impressive title.”

“Prince Phantom the hero prince?” 

“Bah! Too long, suggest another one.” 

“Prince Phantom the undaunted?” 

“Perfect! That will be the name we spread throughout the lands!” 

[purplesurveys]

1839

What were you doing at 10:30 this morning? I was at Sunday mass sweating my ass off.

Is there anyone else in the room with you? It would just be me and the wrestling match that's playing in the background.

If you married the last male you spoke to, what would your initials be? RM, funnily enough.

What did you have for lunch today? I had looooooots of sushi and looooooots of sashimi. It was my cousin's 20th birthday and my mom wanted to treat our extended family to lunch, so to a Japanese restaurant we went.

In your phone, who is the first contact listed under ‘L’? Laurice :)

How old is he/she? She's 25 this year.

What colour are your father’s eyes? Dark brown.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? Guy.

What’s the 9th song on your iTunes “Recently Played” list? I haven't used iTunes since the first half of high school.

What colour are the eyes of the last male you text messaged? I bet they're dark brown as well because everyone I talk to is Filipino anyway.

Who is the first contact in your phone? What colour is his/her hair? A work contact; black.

How many tracks were on the last album you listened to? Hope on the Street has six songs on it.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My mom, I guess? She rarely does it nowadays though. I do have a relative on my mom's side who once tried to embarrass me publicly by invalidating/questioning my profession, so I'll count him.

Is there a song you can listen to over and over and never get fed up? That would be Closer by RM, ft. Mahalia.

Do you have a friend whose name begins with ’H’? Describe him/her. Hannah! I was closer with her in college and we barely talk now, but she's the kind of friend that you'll...always just kinda have a soft spot for, so I love her all the same. She's very nice and can be cheeky in a very endearing and lovable way if she wants to, and a terrific singer.

Are there any songs in your iTunes library that you’ve never listened to? Don't use iTunes anymore.

So, how are you? Is there anything wrong? I'm okay. I had a terrific 6-day break that I spent running errands and having an extremely productive Wrestlemania marathon, but this Sunday evening I'm winding things down with surveys so I can be relaxed and calm for when I come back to work tomorrow.

How do you handle awkward situations? It definitely depends on the situation, but a safe go-to is to just use my phone and pretend to look occupied.

Who is the most intelligent person you know? Hans, my dad, Andi. Couldn't pick just one.

Who was the last female you were introduced to? Not too sure...it may have been someone related to work. I meet so many people everyday hahaha.

What was your first impression of her? I can't even remember the person haha, sorry!

Who was the last male you were introduced to? ^ Same.

What was your first impression of him? ^ Saaaame same same.

Name one of your favourite foods that starts with the letter 'F’. "Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making FAJITAS!"

Do you have a close friend of the opposite sex? Yes.

Would you ever consider being more than friends with them? Hell no, he feels much like a brother-in-law at this point lol.

Who is the 8th contact in your phone? Is he/she in a relationship? A work contact who's actually a pretty well-known/established local actor; I have his number as I needed to work with him for a brand I used to manage. He's married.

If you could travel back in time, which year would you go to? I'd love to have been present and conscious for Wrestlemania 17, which took place in 2001.

When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? I don't frequently make sandwiches but the last time I had one was two Saturdays ago. I had a(n overpriced) Monte Cristo.

What were you like as a 12 year old? Just as much of a dramatic rebel you'd imagine an angsty 12 year old to be. I fantasized running away and cutting off my family, having tattoo sleeves, and was still busy being the problem child/black sheep of the family. Wrestling was what kept me sane at the time, as it was impossible for me to make friends in school.

What colour are the eyes of the last female you text messaged? Dark brown.

When you woke up this morning, what kind of mood were you in? A little sad since I realized it was Sunday already.

Are you hungry? Craving any food in particular? No. I had so much sushi earlier and still feel full that tbh I don't mind not eating til tomorrow.

In the past week, how many times have you cried? Once, but it was all good tears cause I was just crying over a wrestling match and how nicely-done the storytelling was told lol. For anyone who would care - Warrior vs. Savage, Wrestlemania 7.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being amazing), how good is life atm? 7.5.

[slowroadtosantiago]

Day 29 - Leon

So I’ll start with the good news as that’s what you’ve been waiting for.

This evening we did a test walk of just over 3 miles with Jane and her pack and it went OK. She won’t be running any marathons any day soon and we’ll have our rucksacks sent ahead but we’ll be back on the road tomorrow. We’re going to cheat a bit to save rebooking all our accommodation and will be getting the bus to Astorga in the morning and just doing 10k to our booked hostel.

Right, back to earlier today. I went off in the morning to Leon’s museum of modern art which is right over the other side of town. It’s only a small museum with 4 halls but it was really interesting and I enjoyed what I saw. There was one hall that celebrated concrete of all things, and had the usual odd couple of plates and bottles as exhibits and somewhere you could lie on bags of concrete.

But the hall I enjoyed the most was covered in over 80 large canvases of all sorts of brightly coloured shapes.

When I got back Jane had been busy too, having a look around our local church and getting some stuff from the local shop to make a delicious (she told me to say that) pasta sauce which we’ve just had with some pasta and salad for tea. It was actually delicious.

We were then contacted by Jude, an Australian we met early on, who was staying outside Leon and coming in by bus for the afternoon. We met her for a drink, then I gave her a whistle stop tour of Leon while Jane went back to pack her rucksack for the test walk.

Leaving Jude in the main square with some tips on where to go next, I got back to the flat and we set off. Jane went initially at her usual fast pace but settled down eventually. We went down to the river and walked along to the Parador and the resting pilgrim. We then went over the river and through the park I used to walk through where the blossom on the floor was like snow. At the end of the park I showed Jane the school I worked at.

We then walked back up to town and popped in a walking shop as Jane wanted a dress and I was looking for shorts, but they were really expensive, 80+ euros each. Two doors down was a bargain store where we got a dress and shorts for 8 euros total in the absence of charity shops! We love a good bargain.

Back at the flat we’ve had our food, booked our bus, replied to lots of people, finished the wine and will shortly be packing up our rucksacks again.

Buen Camino!