#i wanted to film it so bad because the smoke was intense and it looked really absurd at the moment

[leona-florianova]

Today when walking home through the still shiny from rain and quiet night city, I have encountered three party trams. They were absurdly overpacked with people, who sung and danced to a very loud music, while strobe lights shone through the windows. When passing the third tram, it stopped at the red light, and while the machine itself wasnt moving forward, it still bounced slightly to the rhytm and I could hear the squeaking of metal on metal. Suddenly a big cloud of smoke wafted out of the accordion like midsection and for a second I thought, that something broke in the mechanisms and caught fire, but it was just all the weed smoke finally finding a way out. Even after the tram was gone, the weed smell and smoke lingered a while. 

[aangelicest]

Part 2 of my Big!Bro Suguru ramble where he peer pressures his little sister to smoke with him and get her high except this time they actually do stuff because I still cannot get the image out of my head weeks later <3

Content Warnings: Inc♡st, Dr♡g usage, Dubc♡n (they're both high), Little Sister! Reader, Pet names (baby, princess), fingering, premature ejaculation, creampies, no protection, baby trapping (?), filming

MDNI + Anti's please block and move on♡

Big!Bro Suguru who coo's in your ear as he bullies his thick fingers into your dripping cunt; "You're such a good girl when you're all needy like this. So cute... you have no idea how beautiful you look, baby."

Big!Bro Suguru who chuckles when you whine that it's too much, that he keeps hitting that one spot that overstimulates you too much and he can't help but curl his fingers more, whistling at the squelching sounds that echo through the living room.

Big!Bro Suguru who watches you cum on his fingers but doesn't stop, no, he needed to watch you fall apart more. "Mnn... but it feels so good doesn't it? To feel big brother touch you like this?"

Big!Bro Suguru who keeps pumping his fingers in you while he takes a drag with his free hand, blowing the smoke in your face just to watch you gasp and cough. Every whimper goes straight to his cock

Big!Bro Suguru who wont stop whispering in your ear- "You gonna cum f'me again? Hm princess? Gonna cum on my fingers like a good girl?" and he'll laugh at your pathetic whimpers- so cute. Too cute. He wants to ruin you so bad

Big!Bro Suguru who finally removes his fingers just to press them past your lips, forcing you to taste yourself and lick his fingers clean

Big!Bro Suguru who can't even wait to take his pants off completely, just yanking his sweatpants down, pressing your smaller body against the cushion of the couch with feral need and lust

Big!Bro Suguru who nearly folds you in half, pushing your thighs up till your knees press against your chest and he rubs his thick cock between your puffy folds, watching the way his tip nearly catches on your hole and practically drooling at the sight

Big!Bro Suguru who just laughs when you whimper something about condoms. Was he listening? No. All he could think about was plugging up your cute little cunt and making you scream his name. "S'okay baby, it doesn't matter, can't get pregnant if you're all drugged up 'nyways." he lies to you, just to watch you naively trust him and relax

Big!Bro Suguru who takes one last drag of his blunt before pressing it against your lips, making you take a hit as he slowly sinks into your wet heat, groaning at the way you squeeze and clench around him and he wasn't even halfway in yet

Big!Bro Suguru whose mind is so fucked up from the drugs that he ends up cumming the minute he bottoms out, letting out a shaky groan on top of you- but it doesn't stop him. He nearly pulls out completely to watch the way his cum spills before he snaps his hips forward again just to hear the way you cry out his name

Big!Bro Suguru who loses track of how many times you've came, his senses going numb with the amount of times his balls smack your ass and his hips pressing against yours

Big!Bro Suguru who leaves you stuffed full of his cum, tears streaming down your face from the intensity- would've gotten him hard all over again if he wasn't completely empty and exhausted

"Smile f'me baby, yeeaahh thats it." Big!Bro Suguru would purr, snapping a photo of you dazed and confused, on the verge of passing out before he leans down to press a soft kiss on his tear stained cheeks, cooing about how fun it'll be next time

[deesseshesca]

Your next self-pleasure experience ?

Oh …oh …oh is happening again… am I too lonely ? 

Good afternoon, pretty souls, today we are checking on your sweet spot. What does it need ? How is it going to happen ? Where is the pleasure coming from ? 

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION 

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 

MINOR DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS POST 

MINOR DON’T READ THIS POST 

CHOOSE AN IMAGE 

PILE 1 

BACKGROUND : You guys are in your ain’t shit era … and I love it. As an ex member of the community girl get your lick back on life.You are dealing with someone with no string attached. But not in the way we know it. More like you found another person that ain’t shit and you decide to form an alliance. Like both of you are entering this toxic energy just for the fuck of it. You lie to each other just to have some bomb makeup sex. Not even dealing with the issue, not even caring for the issue to be there. You know you got that good gwack and you are playing mind games with him regarding it. I’m also seeing that you are now the ‘’abuser’’ or the teacher. I feel like you had one to many relationships and the switch went off. The way people used to play with you, you're doing it  the same back. Back to your head game, it is so good that he is texting you praising you about it. Some go even as far as scheduling a next meeting just for some head. Like they will take a plane to have some of that good gwack. I feel like this beautiful mess of a relationship  is less than 2 months old. You don’t feel bad about how you are acting and you know you are playing with his head.  YOU DON’T CARE ! 

EXPERIENCE: The next time you are going to masturbate, you will film yourself. More specifically, you in lingerie filming aesthetic snippets of you. Smoking and drinking. Then sending an audio of your moan, you wet cooch or just both to this person.

Toxic Khelani 

You have your body done and it looks the fuck good. Like nobody can tell that you have your boobs or butt done. I am also hearing about mommy makeovers. You love filming yourself naked. I am getting you have bunch of nudes organize depending on the mood you set for yourself. 

PILE 2 

BACKGROUND : Pile 2, you guys are the more mature women in this pile. You have your master degree, you have 2 cars, you own a house, you have a kid and a ex-husband. You look the fuck good for yourself. I am also getting sophisticated women that are very classy and almost posh. I feel like you never thought you would be reading for this reading rn. Just like your next self-pleasure experience is going to be unexpected. Right now you develop a deep and intense connection with the mom of the friend of your kid. She is your complete opposite. You waited to be set to have kids. She had them unexpectedly with her babydaddy. She is heavily tatted. A bit more outspoken and she might curse like an old sailor but gosh she is a good mom. She is at least 10 years younger than you. You develop an admiration for her, she everything would never dare be. You might feel a bit annoyed by her. Thinking that she only wanted men's attraction because let’s be honest she is smoking hot. I am also getting that she might be a sex worker. If you watch P-Valley,the wife and Mercedes. You guys are giving me this dynamic. In conclusion, you are very intrigued by her. 

EXPERIENCE: You will be wine drunk at the bar. For you it is going to feel like a rebirth. I think you said goodbye to this hot girl summer era a long time ago. So having some heavy makeup, pre-gaming and wearing a skimpy outfit is going to feel like a breath of fresh air. You guys will be dancing and singing your heart out. Pouf the kiss. For her is not going to mean much. Because sometimes, girls get drunk and kiss each other. But for you it will be a never before experience. You will go home that same exact night and get off at the thought of her dominating you. I think during the drive back you might get delusional on having a future with her because you never felt like this before. You won't let it get bigger than just a fantasy. 

KHELANI-Adetunji

PILE 3

BACKGROUND: You guys are confused. You were in a relationship where your partner cheated on you and you cheated back with a good guy. What I mean by that, is that you were sure you were going to cheat on him. And the person you end up doing it with knows about the whole situation. I’m getting he checked on you before you went down and nasty just to make sure you were completely fine with the plan. He was there for you emotionally when you dealt with the cheating. You guys end up making love. Now that everything is over, you kind of maintain a relationship, from your perspective, you are scared. You are a woman of strong standard and principle.You usually know what is right and wrong but now you are utterly confused . You want him, he wants you, yes you cheated with him but it was to get your lick back. And he treats you like a princess naturally. But what if it goes wrong … I mean very WRONG ! Are some dumb bitch to believe that’s actually correct ? Are you stupid, you are really going to trust what a man says, after everything you went through with the last one ? I fear this is your inner monologue. But what is crazy is that he is not speaking, he is acting like the man you deserve. That’s a difference babe. You guys' relationship is very balanced, you got your lick back and he got the chance to experience you in the most intimate and divine way. 

EXPERIENCE: The next time you masturbate, will be a front of some porn. I’m getting any porn, good or bad. Your style or not. It doesn't matter because you're going to get off thinking of him. Lately everytime you try to get intimate with yourself or anyone, you always end up having a flashback of what you guys shared. Until you guys don’t get over this fear regarding this decision that needs to happen in y’all couple nothing will be changing. 

You guys are from NYC. 

He is usually a very chill guy but with you, girl … completely obsessive. He is just waiting for your green light to sweep you off your feet with his lust.

[merakiui]

absolutely would be willing to read dark tweels!! nwn

Aaaa I’m glad!! A few have also echoed this, so I’m relieved to know it’s something others would be interested in reading.

I feel like I don’t explore the darker sides of the tweels as often as I should. With the sk aus, I can explore a lot of darkness, but I really want to write something that feels so utterly bleak and hopeless. I think writing very mean, remorseless tweels might also be an interesting thing to try because sometimes you can forget that, though they act human and follow human ways and rules to an extent, they are still dangerous predators underneath that façade. I think also the fact that they beat up a sturgeon just for its scales is telling in some way. I imagine once the tweels want something they’ll do whatever they can to have it, enabling each other’s bad behaviors in the worst ways.

They also make for such a horrifying duo. Nothing fazes Jade and he seems so eerily calm at all times, and then there’s Floyd who is so unpredictably Floyd. One minute he’s comforting you and the next he’s annoyed that you’re crying so much and any kindness he might’ve shown you is steadily replaced with irritation. Jade is too smart for his own good, and Floyd’s too strong for his own good. It’s made worse when Jade will (very rarely) stop Floyd before he does something to you, but this is as fleeting as it is mercurial. Jade may have stopped Floyd from hitting you because he likes your teeth perfectly intact, but that doesn’t mean he won’t stop him if he wants to knock you up. :)

I’d love to write something where they slowly, methodically corrupt and break you. First you’re staying out later than you’re meant to. Next they’re getting you to drink and smoke. Next they’re convincing you to do risky things with them (car sex in crowded lots, shoving a vibrator inside you and going out to shop or eat while they control the intensity and watch you suffer, getting you addicted to pain to the point where you’ll beg them to choke you or hit you until you pass out or fracture a bone). They dress you so nicely, too, in expensive brands that feel too luxurious and cover malicious bruises and bites, and to outsiders the three of you look like a cute couple. Just a sweet-looking person with their two strong, sophisticated boyfriends. Little do they know these boyfriends are pounding you into the mattress the minute you get home, nearly tearing you from your clothes. :) they’re such horrible influences on you and yet, in spite of all that they subject you to, you like them. T-T

The snuff film idea is something else I’d like to write. I think it would be interesting to write about the tweels’ psychology on a darker, more messed up level. They’d have too much cruel fun torturing you. Your clock is ticking, so everything you do matters. It feels impossible to attempt an escape when you’re up against a man who feels very supercomputer and another who could snap your bones as if they’re nothing. I think I’d also like to explore very unhappy endings in a tweels’ fic. Most endings usually are unhappy, but I want something very, very unhappy. The type of unhappy in which you think Reader will succeed, only to fail at the last moment. It’s a heart-crushing defeat.

[tomwaterbabies]

question: why is the the donkey transformation scene not as effective in the 2022 pinocchio remake as it is in the original?

welcome to my office

(i just woke up so im sorry if i sound incoherent but i dont want to wait to answer this lol)

i think the main issue is how sanitized they made everything AND an over-reliance on cgi that just. doesnt look good (manifesting vfx artists to get unions. dear god)

pleasure island in the remake is so fucking stupid because WHAT about it is so scary?? where's the sinister atmosphere?? there's no Bite. pinocchio isnt even happy to be there the ENTIRE time which defeats the whole point. why is he being punished if he actively refused to do anything bad?? fucking stupid

the transformation scene itself is just a reflection of everything wrong with that stupid segment (and the rest of that shit movie). the original does a great job with the sudden horrific change and i think part of that is we, as the audience, are waiting for something bad to happen because the whole time there is a sense of unease as we watch this child do awful shit (brawling, breaking shit, smoking, drinking, etc.) and culminates with a scene that is easily one of the best in the entire film and one that is often sited as traumatizing the shit out of children (nice)

it doesnt shy away from showing an intense and visceral transformation. the music, the acting, the animation are all pretty brutal.

case in point: not only is this one of my favorite shots in the whole film but it also is one completely removed from the remake

just LOOK at this ! it's quite literally body horror and i think thats neat. the animation itself is really fantastic but just look at all the detail. lampwick shaking pinocchio aggressively out of desperation and then clawing at him with hooves. pinocchio's look of terror as he's pinned against the wall, his arm going further and further up in a subconscious attempt to get further away. things like stretching pinocchio's face and the fabric of his clothes being pulled add more to the visceral nature

and the thing is the WHOLE scene is like this. VISCERAL. it's visceral. there is Nothing visceral about the remake where lampwick's transformation is nearly entirely hidden and the desperation from both boys is cut down severely. bad!!

[feuqueerfire]

Bed Friend Live Blogging

agh, I should've started this earlier or later, not 2 days before the end of the month because now it's gonna spill over to next month >:( but I think I'm just in the mood for it, so fine

Ep 1 (Apr 29)

chaotic beginning before the intro

chaotic beginning after the intro too we found out about the cheating + Uea's abusive mother flashback oh goodness

persistent King oof but tbh he's so attractive I can't form any objective opinions about his character

why is the kissing/pre-NC scene so funnily edited lmao

I wonder if there was discourse about this being a drunken hookup + Uea surely wouldn't have slept with King if he was sober

okay-good first ep

Ep 2 (Apr 29)

ah both of them dazed at work thinking about the other smh

this mother is so

omg if somebody paid like that for me, I'd have to immediately go to the ATM and pay them back

plsssss King yelling through his car window

STD testing oh interesting + King trying to lessen Uea's nervousness and shame about it. I didn't know you just did a blood test for those

heh Uea's smile when King isn't looking

bro i don't get why you'd say you made a mistake at work for someone else but okay

pls not the dick patting over jeans I looked away cuz I didn't wanna see it but they said something so I had to rewind to read the sub but they didn't even sub that line lmao

almost expected some shirt sniffing ngl a la Bad Buddy and The Eclipse

Ep 3 (Apr 29)

why are the breathing and kissing noises So Much I keep going ew like tone it down a bit pls

but I do love body kissing though so thanks Uea for getting King to kiss up his leg

a monogamous friends-with-benefits relationship lol

them bargaining how many times to have sex a week so funny

i hate the editing for these NC scenes ngl like the show in general has meh to bad editing but it's so :/ during these scenes

pls King always trying for touchy moments with Uea. also that moment when Kind's tryna feed chocolate via mouth and he grabs Uea's arm when he tries to push away? Yeah it's attractive

agh Uea really has so many alone moments in the bathroom that feel uncomfortable

Uea secretly staring at King smoking on the balcony ah

agh why do I love King wrapping his legs around Uea to get to dry Uea's hair and Uea kinda resisting only for 1 second before going still

oh no D: poor Uea

I'm gonna throw up why are they showing this scene with the uncle with the kid and everything I hate it so bad I don't wanna see a child be sexually harassed

dumbass King why would you not only get jealous over Uea helping some kid get dust out of his eye cuz the kid thinks P'Uea's cute but also actually drag Uea away because of it?

oh yeah the gifs of King laying over Uea's body is brain melting and the breathing? I'll actually let it pass this time. This scene is so much esp with King being like "Can I be a good thing in your life?"

pls horror music when King pins Uea's hand down T.T

wtf is this is ex-bf agh I knew this happened from spoilers but agh

at least Jade brought security, good job

why did they make these random female coworkers sooooo cringy and supposed to be funny but not

wtf man ex-bf Pock come back again and this time with thoughts of sexual assault agh

I'm actually still stuck on the stepfather being a creep weirdo freak and I hate that they showed it, I hate that a child had to film it (even if it's not as intense or involved as what adult Uea is going through with Pock)

Ep 4 (Apr 29)

Had a confusing and stressful day, so here's a fun episode time

ah fuck, not very fun, we're starting with attempted sexual assault

why would you ask for sex with somebody who you just had to help stop being attacked like be serious. I think I have a hard time going from The Horrors and trauma and Uea being attacked and attempted sexual assault to like yay fun sexy times

I'm a sucker for King bruising Uea and applying whatever medicine on it because Uea said he doesn't want marks though, that's good brain melty

does Uea live with King or no? since Jade came for his birthday

(Linguistics) Uea using kha with his nong sao

this fucking stepfather dieeeeee

ew ew ew ew ew not this flashback I'm gonna kill this man ew ew ew fast forwarding i can't

oh Uea has a knife good good I wish he'd kill him

this mother kill her too I'm gonna die die die

agh agh agh agh I can't fucking do this

I wish Uea would just take his sister out to lunch or something :< away from this house because I can't imagine she's living a good life here either and he can spend time with her

this sad ass "happy birthday to you" montage

I love peck kisses T.T Uea being hard on King but doesn't move away when King moves his hand up his thigh and even pursues his lips during the little peck the first time so cute

how do I feel about King dragging Uea away from a guy

lol ofc they'll fall on each other

but it's beautiful silhouettes, reminds me of Blueming ah I miss that show

Ep 5 (Apr 29)

"I was a good boy last night. can i get a reward?" "it's supposed to be like that; not taking advantage of me" so true Uea. bare minimum not committing sexual assault isn't something to be praised, it's an expectation

lmfao overreactions during very minor finger injury gets me every time like whyyy are you acting like it's the end of the world lol parents don't even act like this toward toddlers who hurt themselves more

agh "I have too much money. I wanna spend" I need someone like this when I go out to eat

ahhhh Uea's voice turning slightly watery when King said his mother arranged a match for him and trying to change the subject

damn not them slightly touching on whether Uea likes rough sex? or what was that convo?

nepotism and this time the hire isn't just a useless nepo man but rather a creepy nepo man? bc what is this type of interaction he's having with Uea

King too jealous my guy agh don't be mean to Uea >:(

okay that turned into a more lighthearted smiley discussion ig

liar liar pants on fire Uea saying he doesn't have a crush

this King and Krit dick-measuring contest and fighting over Uea, leave the guy alone c'mon

so true Uea just shut down King's questioning about liking Krit

King so annoying why does he wanna show off at the office so much T.T and this stupid pretend phone convo at the office

lol barking in front of the office is in Jade's fate I suppose

sometimes I can't tell how conversations or scenes are flowing, I won't lie. Is that the fault of editing or scriptwriting or both? oh well

Ep 6 (May 1)

this is the cat episode? anyway i'm watching this from my home but during worktime...

Did one of them say "mai" and one say "shai" about whether King and Uea are dating in secret?

lol the way Uea's sucking at King's hand?

ahhhhh cat Uea hi~~~~~ pretty~~~~

Uea giving King a forehead kiss

lakjdsflk;ajdfs Uea asking King if he wants to his slave okayyy dom kitty

(Linguistics) okayyy King leveraging his few extra months of age to be like can you call yourself Uea and me P'King I'm dead

omg Uea sideways stepping on King's chest okay fun

too much licking going on though, I'm not really into that but I'll forgive since I'm getting so much other fun stuff

oh Uea really is with the foot along King's body

so true I literally would not know how to act the next day but they're so cute and smiley

noooooooooo Uea smiling and excited about this vacation but King has to go on an arranged match agh

also usually Uea's straight-faced with King but goes :] when walking away but this time he had to be :) while speaking with King and then :( when walking away

I'm soooo tired of Krit agh

:< Uea pushing King away

Uea resignation letter?

aghh saw one second of preview and already have the creeps

Ep 7 (May 1)

I'm so tired even though technically I did nothing hard at work

aw Uea regrets being harsh toward King but doesn't know how to proceed

also am I in the wrong episode? Where's the resignation stuff?

naurrr King and Uea making eye contact but King walking away first and Uea's little :< face as he stands there

ahhh King napping beside Uea as he works overtime T.T but Krit saw the evil fucker

King going to arranged date with same person again

Krit locking the door for what reason I'm gonna kill him fr fr fr fr fr

I hate this so much I'm skipping through fuck this

I knew there was apparently some part where King makes really accusatory comments toward Uea and I was really hoping it wouldn't be about Uea being assaulted but alas... I have to fucking watch this. Uea gets fucking assaulted by his boss and narrowly escapes and gets these words from King? kill them all fr

I hope Uea does resign

what the fuckkkkkkkk Krit came to Uea's mom's place???? wtf fr fr

I wonder how the nong feels about this? like is her dad weird to her too? does she believe Uea was molested by him?

who are those people outside the gates

fuck every single person fr

except Jade

Uea apologized first? agh kick King

Some comments on the reddit on-air thread helped with understanding King's actions more. that "he feels like he was a moron for sitting next to Uea all night during all the days he worked OT, when maybe Uea was actually over King and wanted him out of the way." and "King is the son of a rich family and is used to speaking up (because as a second-gen rich kid he can speak his mind freely most of the time)." and "I think there’s an income/wealth gap between him and Uea even if they work at the same place. He doesn’t understand why Uea is compelled to somehow be neutral/nice to Krit as an employee. Or what the consequences/what’s on the line for Uea if he becomes aggressive/forceful w rejection as King wants." doesn't mean I don't wanna strangle him a bit but yknow

Ep 8 (May 1)

Probably should do some chores (ah preparing for going to work tomorrow is so agh) but I'm going straight into this next episode instead rip

aww Uea came to his auntie T.T okay at least she loves him T.T I wish I knew whether she was his maternal or paternal aunt I think ป้า (bpâa) is for both side's older sister

oh i see the maternal side

cute. they're "seeing each other"

I feel like they should've gotten Uea's permission to share that clip with everyone

but at least they got Krit outta the company. wish he was brutally murdered though tbh

I like Uea being like "I'm sitting here because I'm beautiful" and then giving his hand to King like ah cute

this much tension and denial, they're gonna straight up ascend to another dimension the next time they have sex

oh kill the stepdad kill him kill him agh he's a serial sexual assaulter

Ep 9 (May 1)

Did my chores for tomorrow morning, so time to reward myself with another episode I suppose

so we don't know who called the cops on Uea's stepdad?

ah this bathroom stall scene I love whining the way King is + I love pecks

mm I love siblings :>

Tonkao looks a bit like Blackpink Lisa

It's cute so far with Uea turning down Boom by saying he has a faen and King overhearing but from the ep 8 on-air, the preview for this ep was probably much more dramatic? so i wonder if we'll get more drama rip

ah Uea saying twisty words to say they're boyfriends

how the heck did we go from becoming boyfriends to introductions with King's parents wtf

damn, Uea thinking a bit much about the mother saying what if it goes bad

okay Uea with the umbrella

ah fuck Uea's gonna pick up King's phone agh

oh that wasn't bad. she panicked but told Uea to take care of King, so is Uea gonna be the one who overthinks instead of being threatened by Kin's mother or smth

oh nvm she shoos away Uea to say she'll take care of King

spoiled whiny King with his mother lol

agh mother supporting King okay

bro I can never tell if the mother's supposed to come in and threaten Uea or not like why did they have such ominous music and her squaring her shoulders just to go be nice to Uea lol

Ep 10 (May 2)

Had my first day at work and I feel so squished and tired, time to watch this

King feeding Uea from his glass yeah

I forgot to watch the hottub scene kinda because I was just playing Solitaire and realized later that I didn't watch it

aksldfj King dying and squeezing things and curling up into a ball at getting a sniff cheek kss from Uea so cute

Jade's like written to appear endearing and sometimes he is (like when he was cute in the blanket and supporting Uea) but often he's just annoying?

lol who buys an engagement ring just like that

dumb proposal like did they even talk about getting married first before a proposal after 1 year of dating? and to do it at workplace... be serious

bruhhh everyone's here what if Uea said no lmfao

not like they got actually married, it's a proposal what's happening

oh yeah here comes Tutor's character. people were annoyed that he wasn't here for the whole show the way he was supposed to be in the novel

I waana know the song that's appeared in a few eps but in this ep at 17:40

Overall:

It was good and cute but still somewhat nonsensical and I don't know how to feel about the mountains of trauma. Beautiful Net and James, the acting's not bad, the editing is bad though. They were cute, which is the most important thing I guess.

I was tired when watching eps 6-10 so like I don't have too many thoughts honestly. Just focused on watching and having fun.

Rating: 6.5/10

Tiktok

[Ep 9] King briefly acts like a cat

[punkscowardschampions]

JC pt.3

Casey: where’d you put the sherry bottle

Casey: I don’t care it ain’t the proper size, it’ll feel right to fuck it and fuck you with it

Janis: please, as many pleases as you need to hear 

Janis: 🥺

Casey: as many as I’ll hear when I’m finally inside you, just me

Janis: like I don’t know no other words

Casey: say my name while you still know it

Janis: [do it on a short vid because you’ve either given audio or visuals so far not both combined (i think) so it’s blatant progression even if you are just showing how your face looks]

Casey: good fucking girl

Janis: for you

Casey: take every inch and cum for me

Janis: [not you filming your eyes so close up so he can SEE that reaction in all it’s intensity because you’re DYING]

Casey: you’re gonna make me in front of every smoking punter

Janis: [take your time to come back, will feel long as you are non-stop yapping but obviously isn’t lol]

Janis: you asked for it

Casey: [send her a pic of the blatant state of your lap now back from your ‘smoke break’ and behind the bar again, almost looking like you pissed yourself on this day with how dramatically you did that, soz not soz everyone, if you saw or see anything no you didn’t and no you don’t]

Janis: mine

Casey: I thought you fell off the counter, been gone ages

Janis: thank fuck I didn’t

Janis: felt loud enough to wake the neighbourhood anyway but that’d really seal it

Janis: I missed you even though I was dead

Casey: nah, most alive you could possibly be

Casey: real highest

Janis: I haven’t stopped shaking, like every nerve just woke up and is on fire

Janis: do you feel mental? I feel like feeling this good has to be bad for me

Casey: it did, I’ve brought you out the coma you’ve been in, got you to fight your way back to us tonight

Casey: I feel like my head is unfucking itself more every time I make you feel that good

Janis: You’re not scared, I won’t be

Janis: I’m wearing your clothes like armour

Casey: I’ve spent years scared you’d fallen off something bigger than the counter and I’d never have you back, too long gone

Janis: I could feel it, falling out from under me, the edge getting nearer

Janis: I can’t, I want to be happy, with you

Casey: I reckoned the only thing to do was break your fall with every bone in my body, and anybody else’s it took

Casey: but there’s another way, this one

Janis: even though that might be the best thing you’ve ever said

Janis: I hope you’re ready for me to be totally obsessed with you because that’s where we are

Casey: you know me and hope, always had it

Janis: ☀️

Janis: too accurate, can see how people end up writing poems and songs and shit, too much to say about you

Casey: *🌞 tah very much

Casey: without his smiling face lad ain’t looking too hopeful

Janis: *my apologies

Janis: your smile is the best one I’ve ever seen so it’s a fair shout

Casey: I’m fuming they don’t let you smile in none of the magazines, fit as you look when you’re dead serious

Janis: 😒😐🤨😠🥺😢 sells

Casey: you could sell owt doing owt, any pose is a good shout

Janis: we’re gonna test that one out too

Casey: poem you wanted too

Casey: [a model who is famous af in this era and some poet he’s heard of from school english lessons] be shaking at us

Janis: power couple is right

Casey: talk to me about how you missed me on your comedown from [this object]

Janis: I just really wanted you to be here, like I was on the floor, pick me up and not let go

Janis: I felt really cold suddenly because I was missing you being close to me

Casey: make yourself a brew and go back to bed, no messing about

Janis: I’m not really, I swear, it’s just the comedown

Janis: is that how you felt when you called me home?

Casey: do as you’re told, you need taking care of and I’m not home to

Janis: as you asked so unpolitely, right away

Casey: but yeah, I felt like that

Janis: weak

Janis: but like you’re gonna make that a really alright thing to be with how you take care of me

Casey: I go back to being a kid sometimes and even though it was ages ‘til I knew you, you’re all I want to sort my head out

Janis: but I know just what you mean

Janis: I think how much less shit some things could have been, if we’d known each other then

Casey: loads of things

Janis: I’d look after you

Casey: like the mum and dad I should’ve had an’ all

Janis: I really am greedy, how bad I wish that was how it was

Casey: been there and done the same wishing since we met

Janis: We might have to go away for a bit, just you and me

Janis: let the dust settle and heat die down 

Casey: it’s okay, I’ll run away with you

Janis: is it?

Casey: is by me

Janis: we don’t know what’s gonna come, I shouldn’t bring it up like I do

Janis: but I’ll run away with you too, for the record

Casey: whatever the future chucks at us, here there or wherever, I’ll be with you for it

Janis: that were always going to be the case, far as I was concerned

Janis: you might’ve had other ideas but you know how I am

Casey: you’ve always had better

Janis: I’ll always need you around, more like

Janis: better you want it too

Casey: you know what I want

Janis: taking the piss to ask for a reminder quite yet, yeah

Janis: you want to be here in this bed with me though, I bet, this shift is taking forever

Casey: feels long ‘cause you need us around

Janis: and I’m waiting up for you, when I used to have to force myself to try and be asleep or really distracted by anything before you walked in

Casey: [tell her however long she has left to wait, whether we’re being cruel and that’s still a while or kind and it’s not]

Janis: [send him a selfie to show you did go back to bed like he said but also in your own cruel but kind wish you were here move]

Casey: fuck you too, with the same 🥺 as when you said it

Janis: you make me too fucking 🥺

Janis: I’d have to kill you before you could tell anyone

Casey: kill me then

Janis: you’re already such a mess, I don’t know how anyone is missing it if I do it again

Casey: job won’t miss us and I’m only hanging onto it long enough to put another shift in for you to gatecrash 

Janis: I won’t let you lose your job

Janis: well, if you do this one for the gatecrashing I have just gotta do, you know I’ll make it worth it and find you a better one before you miss anything but me

Casey: I don’t care, this town ain’t short of pubs or clubs

Casey: there’s only the 1 fittest girl in it

Janis: would you think I was fit even if you didn’t know me

Casey: am I bent in this other world or what

Janis: I don’t judge, obvs

Janis: I’m just nothing like any other girl I’ve had the misfortune of seeing you with

Casey: they’d each be getting accidentally called your name else

Casey: and I’ve my rep as a massive racist to maintain, more importantly

Janis: ‘course, fake tans only

Casey: might not seem it, but I’ve got some instinct of how to keep myself alive

Casey: that were part of keeping going

Janis: nah, it does

Janis: I can see the logic even if they refuse to

Casey: if I can tell myself and show everybody I’m too much like dad, other reasons why you picked Jim don’t matter, there are none

Janis: I hate that

Casey: we’ve both done shit we reckoned we had to that’s turned out to be total bollocks now

Janis: like we said, can’t fixate on it because there’s no undoing any of it

Casey: I couldn’t of hacked lasses looking like you with how I treated them and couldn’t of treated ‘em no better

Janis: there’s nothing wrong with casual

Casey: what about being a bastard

Janis: I dunno

Janis: is it great? Sure, no

Janis: are you the only one? Not remotely

Casey: least it’s over and done with 

Janis: It’s never too late to be as decent as you want to be, I’ve seen that loads over

Casey: I’d not have wasted loads of previous shifts trying to write something to Debbie if I didn’t reckon you had a point

Janis: Where would you start?

Casey: at you, where everything decent started for me, that

Janis: you’re decent

Janis: you can only play a convincing bastard, that’s not who you are

Casey: I wanna be, so you’re proud, even if mum’s unconvinced by my shit letter, like

Janis: don’t you feel the most like yourself when we’re together?

Janis: that boy is the sweetest, anyone should be proud of him

Casey: only time I do

Casey: rest I’m him, or her, or I’m nothing at all

Janis: feeling like a cheap imitation of your parents is something I know all about

Janis: trust I know you best and I’ll trust in who you see me as too

Casey: okay

Casey: your mum is nowhere near as fit as you, by the way and for the record

Janis: hm, add my nan to that record so I know it’s real, mate

Casey: as you can’t go telling her, alright then

Janis: such a dickhead

Casey: but yours

Janis: all mine

Casey: all the time, make a decent 2nd poem outta that while you’re there waiting

Janis: if you reckon you can take the piss I’ll make sure I make you feel every type of way by reciting them at you, be warned

Casey: put it to this

Casey: [and sending her another song played at the clerb and lbr playing rn that he feels a type of way about for whatever jc reasons]

Janis: I’m gonna play it until my ears bleed

Janis: sorry to make more mess but I’m not

Casey: whatever mess I’ve made of you is mine to clean up

Janis: please

Janis: with too much 🥺 to cope

Casey: [remind her of a time in jc past when you got some of her blood on you somehow and tell her what feral thing you did about it that she wouldn’t have known at the time, giving that you licked it if it was on your skin or if it was on your clothes you never washed said clothes and always be wearing them like she is yours now, either/or or tbh why not both because we can and will]

Janis: I thought you just really rated yourself in [these clothes]

Janis: now I can’t help but want a repeat

Casey: didn’t you rate us in them

Janis: You always look good, it’s very distracting

Casey: says you lay down wearing my clothes at the minute and none before then

Janis: says you like I can just be lying here now

Casey: nah, you’ve gotta go [to wherever these clothes are, be that in his wardrobe or a drawer] and have a look

Janis: way ahead of you

Casey: be careful your legs don’t go from under you

Janis: you’ll find me

Janis: I can really see why stalkers go in for all this, y’know

Casey: I’ll pick you up and carry you back to bed

Casey: what else have you seen

Janis: once you’ve fucked me into the floor like the bed, hopefully

Janis: [just be here listing clothes he hasn’t worn in ages from times you remember him wearing them, having way too much of a good time]

Casey: [add to the reminisce with what she was likewise wearing when you were wearing those fits because ofc you remember too, especially times when you saw her/spent time together]

Janis: you make it okay how obsessed I am with you, it feels good, not like something I have to work on or hide

Casey: you found the [something small of hers she didn’t even know she lost but he found and kept, I won’t commit us] yet

Janis: shit, no

Janis: now I’m 🔎

Casey: [give her a clue]

Janis: don’t ever stop being like this

Casey: I’ll get worse

Janis: I’ll love you more, it’s already all-consuming, I’ll let it kill me

Casey: I’d revive you, let you take all my breath and blood to do it

Janis: Dead or alive, I can’t do either without you, stay with me

Casey: swear on your [whatever object she’s hunting for] I’ve kept with me

Janis: [find this item and take a picture that’s giving an oath in some way, whether that’s tying the thing around you or placing your hands on it, you get the vibes]

Casey: [me just knowing this boy has an old shoe box from a pair of trainers his dad bribed him with once that’s like a memory box for everything he cares about and it’d have so many jc things in it from any time they did anything ever and pics of him with his mum and so many other heartbreaking things, we cannot because jimothy and bobby mems would be in there too but from so long ago]

Janis: [you just here crying over this because it is heartbreaking truly and to be confronted with a literal box of it is gonna kill you here and now]

Casey: [cannot be overstated how random the jc things would seem and like he’s collected scattered trash but she’d know them all, god bless him truly, me screaming because even Ian is in there cos he still loves him, stuff like a beer mat from the first time he took you to the pub etc, it’s fine]

Janis: I am proud of you already

Casey: what for

Janis: for having hope

Janis: not giving up on anyone

Casey: I wouldn’t know how to live without it no more than I would how to live without you

Janis: I think you’re the best person I know

Casey: what’s made it into that box is all I know

Casey: they’ve done their best

Janis: they should know, that you have too

Janis: I wanna scream it at them sometimes

Casey: long as you get it, that’s more than I’ve a real right to hope for

Janis: yeah, I’m not exactly helping you mend those relationships, am I

Janis: hypocritical as per

Casey: stuck in the middle as per, more like

Casey: and as far as helping me goes, you’ve done everything you could but scream in their faces or knock heads together

Janis: I’d say there’s time but

Janis: not really

Casey: if time’s run out, is what it is

Casey: I’d rather time with you

Janis: I mean my time, I’m not going to be in the middle now

Casey: yours’ll be your own again

Janis: scary prospect

Casey: I can be scarier, I’ll look after you

Janis: you can never let me be alone, how’s that

Casey: alright

Janis: I know you hate it too, you barely ever are

Casey: trust the quiet about as much as myself

Casey: when shit gets loud I know what’ll happen, it’s all I’ve known to ever be happening

Janis: and I thought the opposite of what I’ve known was the goal

Janis: but I can’t hack it

Casey: nor can he

Casey: he gave up before you, it ain’t your fault

Janis: then what does he want

Casey: he dunno, how are we meant to

Janis: can’t believe I thought it was me

Casey: fuck that, it should be you

Casey: he’s wrong

Janis: it doesn’t matter now, it’s over

Casey: it does, it matters you know he’s the one who’s a twat

Janis: thanks, that does cheer me up a bit, like

Casey: and I couldn’t want you more

Janis: you’re the one for me

Casey: meeting you saved my life

Janis: you’ll make me cry again

Casey: when was you crying

Janis: just because I love you, not a bad thing, promise

Casey: I get it, you really could’ve done with having your [thing] back before now

Janis: no, it’s the best thing in the world to me that you took it, kept it all this time

Janis: you can have anything you want from me

Casey: not more tears, you’ll give yourself a worse headache than the pain in your head just gone

Janis: I don’t need the excuse to have you look after me now

Casey: wipe your eyes wherever’s dry enough

Janis: on [the clothes that got her blood on]

Casey: I love how you fucking think

Janis: told you not to doubt me

Janis: my head’s always been full of you and all the ways I thought we could never be together outside of it

Casey: you’re so quick, right smart

Janis: now I know fully how much you want reminders, physical ones

Casey: just don’t shut yourself in the box, know you can hold your breath ages but still

Janis: I’ll have to work on stretching more to be flexible enough to fit

Janis: what else could I need

Casey: I’ll give you a hand, got loads of positions in my head we can put you in

Janis: tell me I can be just yours, I don’t want to see anyone else

Casey: they ask I’ll tell ‘em you gotta have longer off sick

Casey: phone ‘round like I’m your dad

Janis: it suits you

Janis: more than boyfriend, I reckon

Casey: you can call us it, you’re the only baby I need

Janis: I don’t know if I can, fuck

Casey: try

Janis: I am, like it’s your new name

Casey: ‘cause it is, I’ll only answer to it

Janis: [the !! way you’re saying this, like it is a question he’s gotta answer]

Casey: you already know what part of me is answering to it hardest

Janis: that’s how it should be

Janis: like when you called me baby the first time by mistake

Casey: tell me what I can fuck to remind me most of you

Janis: [me like what even at a club, you gonna have to get creative with your suggestions lol but that is y’alls vibe always so I’m sure you’ll think of something]

Casey: like I said, so smart

Casey: you never let me down

Janis: you need looking after too, that’s what I’m made for, my body knows it

Casey: I need to feel you against me

Janis: any excuse to touch you, to let you feel how warm you make my skin

Casey: yours is the softest mine has ever touched

Casey: like an actual baby

Janis: I’ll suck on your fingers on one hand whilst you touch me inside with the other, I want to know where is softer still

Casey: and warmer

Janis: You won’t be able to help yourself

Casey: I can’t

Casey: this [whatever she told him to use at this clerb, lord knows] is stretching to fit just like you’re gonna

Janis: I love feeling like I’m going to break, that burn

Casey: sick day’ll be for real, you’ll be in no state for work

Janis: break [whatever it is he’s fucking]

Janis: I want to be only good for one thing

Casey: it feels so good, you’ll wanna break it more ‘cause you’re jealous

Janis: I hate [this inanimate object]

Janis: I’m your only baby

Casey: I’m gonna cum inside it

Casey: tell me how much you hate that

Janis: I’ll cry 

Janis: I’ll be crying, tell me how much harder that’ll make you cum, how much I need it

Casey: it’s clenched so tight ‘round me I can’t get deep enough without your tears

Janis: I’ve wanted to kill every girl you’ve ever been inside and that made them so much better for you, they were scared of you and me, scared of how you would do anything for me

Casey: you’re my girl, my only girl

Janis: they were as real as [this literal thing] weren’t they

Casey: less

Casey: you picked [the thing]

Janis: You should cum in me, exclusively, not even in your hand in the shower anymore

Casey: fill you ‘til you can’t barely move

Janis: we owe each other years, you need to make me yours

Casey: finally own you

Janis: I’m your girl

Casey: my baby

Janis: daddy

Casey: I feel it breaking, fuck

Janis: that’s going to be me, trained by the best

Casey: warn the neighbours, make sure they know what’ll happen when your daddy gets home

Janis: they’ll think it’s cats

Janis: I sound like an animal, here alone in our bed, imagine how much louder, more feral, you will make me

Casey: they’ll reckon it’s a crime scene

Janis: if we’d been able to touch before now, maybe we wouldn’t need to tear and grab and slam

Janis: but we do

Casey: too right we fucking do

Janis: You know how strong I am, what I can take

Casey: you took [whatever he told her to use in the kitchen earlier] so well

Janis: did I make you proud?

Casey: never been prouder

Janis: I’m just like you, I promised

Janis: I’ll take everything you give me

Casey: I’ll give you everything I’ve got

Janis: That’s better than any vow

Casey: what’s a vow but saying it in front of witnesses

Casey: every dickhead still in the club can hear me is how it feels

Janis: I’m jealous of every single one

Janis: they don’t deserve that, I do

Casey: [send her some utterly feral audio that’s pure LOUD noise and the sound of you literally breaking this thing whatever it may be]

Janis: You are the best thing that ever happened to me, holy shit

Casey: nowt more mutual

Janis: will you let me be that loud in public, will you make me?

Casey: yeah, there’s a vow

Casey: I will

Janis: 😁

Casey: give us a real smile

Janis: [do, as big as that but you know she is a HOT mess with it]

Casey: [in return send her a pic of this broken thing and the absolute mess you’ve made of it]

Janis: you’ll have to be careful, to make sure you bring all of it back for me

Casey: what vow’s that, lucky number 3

Janis: are you calling me demanding?

Casey: saying you’ve no need to worry, you’ll have it

Janis: I’m not scared

Casey: [give her an updated how long there is of this shift like you’ve got no reason to be cos I’ll soon be back]

Janis: I can’t believe you’ve done all this without touching me, not even being in the same house

Casey: there you go then, couldn’t call you demanding, could I

Janis: you can

Casey: nah, other lasses would’ve demanded us in the same house hours ago

Janis: what did I do wrong then

Casey: you’ve done every sec of this right

Janis: If you say so

Casey: I did, yeah

Janis: promise you’d say, if it was too far

Janis: don’t let me make a twat of myself 

Casey: not gonna start now, what sort of mate

Casey: it weren’t nowhere near but as far as we can go without me touching you

Janis: good

Janis: I’m not scared, I just

Janis: I can get in my head

Casey: me an’ all

Casey: it’s alright, he’s rejected you but I ain’t him

Janis: don’t spare my feelings, like

Casey: you know what I mean, sod all you could say, do, reckon or feel what’d scare us off

Janis: ‘cos I weren’t perfect, I won’t be

Casey: I’ve done the bollocks fantasising as a kid, I’m asking you to chuck us reality, I can hack it, you as you are

Casey: I want it

Janis: okay

Janis: but I am going to stop being a nightmare, at least for now

Janis: that I can do 

Casey: you ain’t started

Janis: if I’m out here sounding like my sister, I’ll be throwing myself out the window

Casey: if we was planning on sleeping, I’d have the best dreams of you, trust me

Janis: I might let you, you’ve been putting work in whilst I’ve just been laid up here

Casey: you’ve not just nowt

Casey: been putting in your own shift for us keeping me in a top mood to finish mine

Janis: proper inspiring, you

Janis: but can’t call it work, not when it’s for you

Casey: can’t call this work when it’s pissing about pouring drinks

Janis: still not where you want to be, that’s the basic definition of a job, ain’t it

Casey: is it, I dunno, you like yours, what I’ve heard

Janis: best way to pay the bills and pass time for me but I don’t want to live for it, not that sort

Casey: be a bit awkward now, what am I living for if you are your job

Janis: massaging footballers ain’t that fun, sounds much more salacious than it is 

Casey: steady on, told you about using posh words, not that sort, me

Janis: if I said it weren’t that hot, you’d automatically think it were and I’m LOVING every second I’m on the clock

Casey: 😏 your precious footballers are safe

Casey: ain’t even players from the youth team in and what I’ve said about my mood stands

Janis: I’m hearing you ain’t gonna give me more work

Casey: I heard you weren’t no workaholic, like

Casey: tonight you’ve got enough on

Janis: awkward if I fall asleep on ‘em, yeah

Casey: bit 

Casey: but you could lie it’s a new type of massage or something, they’d believe your bollocks is cutting edge in Asia, up to all sorts, them

Janis: I know better than to bring that up, shorthand for 💦

Casey: tah for shortening the shorthand, mate

Janis: not even gonna say it, not that sort of girl, not that sort of establishment

Casey: not the sort of place, give you that

Janis: shocking accusation

Casey: you’ve thought about inviting me to your work too, know you have, but I happened to get in there 1st

Janis: I just know how much you’d benefit

Casey: book us in then

Janis: You think that’s a good idea?

Casey: don’t you

Janis: No but that’s not a no to doing it, obviously

Casey: check your diary 

Janis: another date, is it

Casey: why not

Janis: there’s no reason

Casey: no need for no reason to put a stop to whatever we wanna do

Janis: bit late for that

Casey: yeah

Janis: I can’t think about what I’m going to do yet, not tonight

Janis: I’ll do it tomorrow, start to, whatever

Janis: not whatever but

Casey: You ain’t gotta force yourself tomorrow, not ‘cause of me

Janis: Isn’t it the bare minimum I can do for him?

Casey: won’t make no odds to him when you do it but it will to you how

Janis: Surely it should

Janis: not carrying on for years behind his back should mean something

Casey: we’ve not

Janis: and we shouldn’t

Casey: I weren’t saying we should, I was warning against blurting it out morning after, be doing him no favours

Janis: alright

Janis: I’m not that tactless, I can be better than that

Casey: you’ll feel that guilty, more like

Janis: you won’t?

Casey: I’ll not be sat eating breakfast with him or owt, piss easy for us to avoid the pair of them longer than you

Janis: yeah but still

Casey: what

Janis: what should I do

Janis: you tell us what to do and I’ll do it

Casey: depending on him pissing off early to his office or bed as per and our kid not hanging about as his creepy shadow an’ all, you’d have more of a clue of their 2 schedules, but 

Casey: you talk

Casey: at him for a bit if he don’t join in with you

Janis: He went to bed [clearly early even for depression era Jimothy]

Janis: no mood to deal with the little dark cloud himself ⛈ 

Janis: maybe I should wait, I’m stopping talking anyway because this back and forth is making me sick never mind you

Casey: you heard, it’s okay to

Casey: never gonna be a decent time for it far as he nor you are concerned, making twats of ourselves pretending otherwise

Janis: but maybe it’ll be better in the long run if he doesn’t think I left him for you, can’t say that’s all it was

Janis: but that could be guilt talking and it’s only better for me

Casey: weren’t all it was but we’ve no say in how his head or Bob’s mouth fancies twisting it after you’ve said your piece

Janis: of course, even if Jimmy would hear me out and take it in, the kid ain’t going to see it happen

Janis: Jesus

Casey: we’d rip the plaster off but they ain’t us

Janis: It’s not going to be okay

Janis: I know that but 

Janis: I still want to protect him 

Casey: there’s your bare minimum you brought up, you can and will

Casey: and I’ll protect you from whatever needing to go about it like that does to your head

Janis: What about you?

Casey: I’m not being hurt, nothing to protect me from

Janis: I know you don’t want to do this to him anymore than I do though

Casey: he expects better off you, this is your first time being brought down to my level

Casey: I’m used to how it feels down here

Janis: Come on, you’ve never done anything like this

Casey: ‘cause you’ve not given in, not ‘cause I’m above it

Janis: neither am I, clearly

Casey: we’ve been over what bollocks it is him reckoning you’re perfect and putting you up on a fucking massive pedestal

Janis: I let him didn’t I

Casey: what was you meant to do, see this shit coming

Janis: Not be happy being 👸

Casey: you’re a lass, you’re told to

Janis: I’m not that, not meant to be like my sisters

Casey: liking being treated nice don’t make you your sisters

Janis: fucking embarrassing though

Casey: so’s the alternative, least you don’t crawl about same as a kicked dog thinking you deserve nowt

Janis: I don’t now

Casey: leave it out

Janis: It’s what everyone will think

Casey: let ‘em, I won’t and I’ll do whatever to keep it from getting in your head

Janis: I don’t want people to say that about you

Casey: nobody’s opinion means shit to me except yours

Janis: That’s how I want to be, have to to survive this

Casey: I’d carry you ‘til you’re out the other side if I had to

Casey: but nah, we’re just onto a 👸🏽 fantasy of mine, you’re the strongest dickhead I know

Janis: I still like the sound of it

Casey: you’ll like the sound of every fantasy

Janis: I like you, a lot

Casey: don’t make us 😳 again

Janis: but you’re so cute

Casey: you’re such a 

Janis: windup, I can’t help it

Janis: there’s no one I like playing with more

Casey: I can’t fight the effect you have on me

Janis: You shouldn’t have to

Janis: you deserve everything I’m going to give you

Casey: [send another pic of you adorably flustered because of course you’re all hot and bothered about it always and forever]

Janis: I can’t stand you not being mine 

Casey: I’ve been yours since [literally the date of the day they met]

Janis: but don’t stop, never ever

Janis: please

Casey: I’d rather stop breathing

Janis: Not as long as I am

Casey: not ‘til I’ve grown old with you

Janis: What do you think you’ll look like?

Janis: you won’t be as pickled as your dad, what did your grandads look like?

Casey: 👴 and 👨‍🦳 to be fair

Casey: but I’ll find photos out, show you what you’re really in for

Janis: There’s loads I don’t know about your family, still

Casey: probably isn’t loads to tell but you can still have what there is

Janis: More than he likes to talk about

Janis: which I get

Casey: [give her all the tea cos you’re not jimothy, I imagine Ian has a dead dad he’s giving that and inherited heavy drinking but tell her what you know regardless whether you have any memories of your own or not cos RIP, likewise about your nan from the slay pic that made us laugh earlier even though she’s obvs still up north and rarely if ever visits because giving refuses to leave the north ever, and anyway if she did now it would only be your dad and his new missus we know, on your mum’s side you probably have no tea if they washed their hands of her/were cut off from her when she got with Ian the bad egg and that drama even before the prison of it all]

Janis: I like listening to you

Janis: if I had anything to add that weren’t common knowledge about my own, I would now but not that lucky, sadly

Casey: tah for staying awake throughout

Janis: Shh

Janis: you know I wanna know everything you wanna tell us, dead nosy like that

Casey: stick it where you want, heard you’re dead imaginative like that an’ all

Janis: if you’re lucky, boy

Casey: I do feel well lucky at the minute

Janis: It’s mutual

Janis: even if you’re keeping me waiting

Casey: [tell her yet again how long she’s gotta wait but in a not long now way cos we’re getting through this shift gals]

Janis: I really didn’t want you to leave 

Janis: didn’t even lock the bathroom door just in case

Casey: I should’ve stayed

Janis: You were too busy being noble and sensible

Janis: one of us had to

Casey: I dunno about that

Casey: being such a bellend maybe

Janis: I dunno, you’d have been beaten out by Bobby

Janis: rather some smashed glass any day

Casey: any day’d be taking the piss

Janis: Might start charging, yeah

Janis: but you did get rid of that clingy girl before I had to so that’s worth something

Casey: be charging for that else, least I could do

Janis: Poor cow

Casey: dodged a bullet, her

Janis: Might tell her to take the day off school, if she’s lucky

Casey: tell your mum to homeschool your sister, lucky hippies don’t need to be told twice

Janis: should have the time, now the rest of us are grown

Casey: gutted I am, money on her teaching us all sorts

Janis: yeah, yeah

Janis: spent ages saying you don’t think she’s fit, I’m not convinced you wanna be schooled by anyone but me

Casey: model kid don’t mean she’s no milf but she’s a bit pale for me, yeah

Janis: Your dad is somewhere having an aneurysm 

Casey: same as the last teacher I told to slap some fake tan on

Janis: Not the worst you said to any teacher, like

Casey: nah, nowhere top 10 but you know what [this teacher we’re namedropping and I imagine is oversensitive af] were like 

Janis: I remember

Casey: you don’t ever forget nowt

Janis: says you

Janis: you remember everything

Janis: I’ve disassociated through loads

Casey: ‘course, ages since I had a head injury

Casey: but not with me, you’re always in the room

Janis: he’s so 👨‍🦳👴 now, no ⚽️🥊

Casey: piss off am I

Janis: paybacks a bitch

Casey: *you’re

Janis: honeymoon over already is a new record, even for me

Casey: over for you when we hit the gym 🥊

Janis: hot

Janis: but just a fantasy 💔

Casey: yours I’m old an’ all and you can beat us at 90

Janis: the age gap means nothing now, thanks very much

Casey: alright, it’s up to you to find something else to blame when I’m setting a new record running rings ‘round you, I was chucking you an easy out, mate 

Janis: I don’t need your pity

Janis: easy outs are for losers

Casey: and you’re gonna lose, sorry baby

Janis: you can’t sweet talk me into it, I’m just a natural-born winner

Casey: it ain’t talk, I can back it up and you can watch us

Janis: no touching, that’s what you said

Casey: don’t sound like me

Janis: I remember everything, remember saying that one?

Casey: nah, you win this one

Janis: you need touching now, too far gone

Casey: go with it then

Janis: do you reckon I need convincing

Casey: I reckon you need touching as bad

Janis: I’d even let you win for it

Casey: be less fuming about me winning fair and square, you mean

Janis: okay, baby

Casey: I’ll remember this

Janis: you should be thinking on what you want your prize to be

Casey: way ahead of you, which you should’ve already gotten used to from our runs

Janis: Oh no, you’ve given yourself concussion, haven’t you

Casey: you’d have been better off claiming I’m dreaming, I’ve had more concussions than you’ve got fantasies

Janis: could be

Janis: maybe you’re in bed, not me

Casey: why my shift feels like it’ll never end, not the first time I’ve had a nightmare about being stuck in work

Janis: If this is a nightmare

Casey: I wouldn’t dream of keeping you waiting

Janis: I’ve had dreams/nightmares like this

Casey: go on

Janis: waiting on you, you never showing

Casey: you do owe us tears but I’ll think of another way to make you cry

Janis: I’m a bad loser, you wouldn’t know because you’ve never seen it but

Casey: I’ve seen how much worse you are at shutting up, but I’ll give you a hand now you’ve said I can put ‘em on you

Janis: you gotta make me, I’ve been way too loud tonight

Casey: ‘til your voice breaks too I’ll keep you under control

Janis: how do you have this much control over me already

Janis: ‘cos all I want to do now is show you how well-behaved I can be and make you so proud

Casey: what’s a daddy for

Casey: all you need’s something to bite down on and you’ve got me

Janis: you say that now

Janis: you might not be able when you’re full of holes and losing blood fast 🧛‍♀️ 

Casey: even if you went full cannibal over us I’d still be saying what I did instead of any other goodbye

Janis: tempting, honestly 

Janis: but I need you around too bad to ever do anything to make you go away

Casey: only thing what would is you telling us to piss off and proper meaning it and you’ll not be tempted

Janis: I couldn’t do it, when I had all the incentive, technically, the most I’ll ever have

Casey: I’d never do anything pushing you far enough into being forced either, we’re good

Janis: I know, even if I didn’t give you proper time or chance to prove one way or another

Casey: you’re chucking both our way to prove it now

Janis: yeah, you could go to hers still

Casey: I don’t reckon I could

Janis: Good

Casey: proved that much already, ages before you brought it up

Janis: It would hurt to be touched by anyone else now 

Janis: thinking about you letting it happen hurts too 

Casey: I wouldn’t let it happen, don’t think like that

Janis: I can’t help it

Janis: no 🌞 like you

Casey: I’ll help you think of something else

Janis: that’s all you’ve been doing, like your job

Casey: ain’t work though, I’d do it 27-4

Janis: I’ll let you

Casey: I heard earlier, you wanna behave like a good girl for me

Janis: if you’re disappointed, I can always stop behaving 

Janis: make it a challenge for you

Casey: you couldn’t disappoint me if I challenged you, no more than you can stop

Janis: Not saying it wouldn’t be a struggle at this point

Janis: I am fed up of being alone

Casey: oi, I’ve not left you alone

Janis: not today

Janis: you know what I meant

Casey: today’s what counts, we’re only looking back to chat about how fit you looked as a lifeguard

Casey: or other important shit like that

Janis: okay, can agree to that

Casey: as I said, can’t help but behave, you

Janis: a good idea is a good idea

Janis: and I’m too comfy to complain 

Casey: no better idea than making me proud

Janis: did you hate me, when I married him

Janis: or any point but if I had to guess that would be the one I’d go for

Casey: ‘Course not, hating what you done don’t mean I’d hate you

Janis: I should’ve tried harder to make it easier for you

Casey: you was trying with him, can’t do both, have it all

Casey: intention of sorting his head out were a good one and more than can be said for most dickheads and their fuck ups

Janis: size of mine to think I stood a chance

Casey: hope can be a bastard sometimes

Janis: delusion

Casey: nah, dad didn’t stand a chance where he stood with how he reckoned he’d sort us all out, you did

Janis: I was just another fucked up kid, distancing myself from my own fucked up family

Casey: came the closest still, however much I hated it

Casey: he were alright for a bit, okay even

Janis: I didn’t change, I don’t understand what happened, still

Casey: whatever happened weren’t to do with you, he’s who changed

Casey: wedding set him back or it started before and he needed the wedding to try and put it right, either way

Janis: I know you don’t want to talk about it

Janis: but I doubt he ever will either

Casey: you can talk about owt you want with me

Janis: I’m cool, will have to be, there’s no good answer, one I’d want to hear, when you really think about it

Casey: bottling shit up does nowt but keep dickheads reaching for one,‘til I go shop we’re low on ‘em and you ain’t a paying customer ‘til tomorrow night

Casey: nevermind you’ve never been cool since I’ve known you, like, have a word with yourself

Janis: excuse you x2 

Janis: affairs are meant to be self-esteem boosters, not ruiners, what I heard

Casey: not an affair, this

Casey: you should’ve picked up some twat at work or out the gym

Janis: won’t be called anything better

Casey: they can call it what they fancy, we know what it is

Janis: you know I could’ve picked anyone else

Janis: no good reason to drag you into this

Casey: if it were about being a lonely housewife whose husband’s ignoring her, yeah

Casey: but bollocks is it, been dragged into that loads of times before

Janis: I’m sure you have

Casey: we both had our reasons and you might not reckon yours are no good but mine are

Janis: I didn’t say that

Janis: they’re separate issues to me but that’s not how it’ll be seen by anyone, was what I did

Casey: our kid can go on ‘til he’s blue in the face about how I only want to fuck you to fuck them over but I don’t, same is true of the rest

Casey: if you never touched us my feelings’d go nowhere and if you pretend you’ve no issues in your marriage they’ll be piling up any road

Janis: I’ve not just noticed you because things are going wrong with Jim

Janis: if that were the case, Bobby’d have less to say

Casey: we’ve got jobs and it ain’t educating everybody thick in this town

Janis: Thank fuck

Casey: you couldn’t of had an affair, ain’t that sort

Casey: anybody who knows you already knows it

Janis: I didn’t mean to be this monogamous, it just happened 

Casey: it’s not a bad thing

Janis: let’s just not saint me for it

Janis: maybe it weren’t the right thing

Casey: I’m not, it obviously weren’t right for you to be acting old and married long before you were, I’ve always said

Janis: that’s what we wanted

Casey: and you wouldn’t want or tell your little sister to chuck herself at every lad with a pulse, you’ve not missed out for leaving that out

Janis: There must be some benefits

Casey: why must there

Janis: it’s what most people end up doing, more or less, exploring their options

Casey: seen the state of their grass at no [a house across the street to give the grass isn’t greener on the other side lol]

Janis: mrs nextdoor was going on about it but felt like it might be code

Casey: begging to be sainted, her

Casey: who’s gonna tell her she’s taken a bit of a wrong turn

Janis: you could warn her next time you’re chatting to her in the shower, surely

Casey: steady on, I’ve never chatted to her directly, unless she’s changed her name, but she’d be nicking your post an’ all then and I’ve seen none of that

Janis: I don’t think she can tell any of yous apart so she might reckon she can pass for me

Janis: nothing wrong with her hearing though

Casey: ears’ll be making up for how hard her eyes have gone, least they can do

Casey: her head must be headed off the same way she reckons she can pass for you

Janis: She probably bitches about how rude you’re being when Bob straight up blanks her on his way to school 

Janis: nicest thing you’ve said to us, reckoning I can’t pass for a 58 year old

Casey: slipper don’t fit, nobody’s more gutted than me, trust us

Janis: piss off

Casey: she’ll always have her thoughts of us in school uniform

Janis: gutting I can’t offer different way to keep her warm at night 🔥 that’s what we get for not affording detached

Casey: guards’d blame me and your insurance’d pay out, live your dreams, mate

Janis: they’d never soon as they realise how in love you apparently were

Casey: lovers tiff, they don’t all offer to bin their husbands for me

Janis: 🙄

Casey: too right, pisstake it is

Janis: and sure, what would you do with that many lonely housewives, think on

Casey: I’m not the massive homophobe my dad would have us be, they wanna lez off together I’m alright about it

Janis: what a man

Casey: real catch, I know

Janis: know your worth, babes

Casey: nicest thing you’ve said to me, that

Janis: channelling the nicest girls I know

Casey: don’t remember agreeing to roleplay but

Janis: careful what you say next, boy

Casey: you who said it

Janis: you who’s dead keen to carry on

Casey: dead keen isn’t how I’d describe feeling about any of them lasses back in the day or now

Janis: who was

Casey: not ageing well neither, actually look 90 if they’re a day

[spaceumbredoggos]

So much For Stardust Chapter Six.

No content warnings. Just Filler. I wrote this in a day. The next chapter is gonna be spicy. Not porn spicy, just drama spicy. But this fic is for mature audiences, so expect a sex scene or two in this fic (but like a tv sex scene where it’s screened over. Not those passionate porno sex scenes on AO3. Also, none of those are in this chapter.)

I got in the car and sat down in the front seat, panting from exhaustion.

“You know what Kenz needs?”

“I don’t need any—“

Loona burst out laughing before I could finish that statement. “You totally look like you could use a Starbucks.”

“Believe me. I don’t. Caffeine would just make me pass out.”

“Exactly.” Ford smiled, turning into the Starbucks parking lot. “And when’s the last time you’ve actually eaten?”

“There’s food at home.” But Wendy and Loona were chanting “Starbucks! Starbucks!” at the top of their lungs and punching the roof of Ford’s car, causing him to snicker as he turned into the drive through.

“I guess I’m outvoted.”

“Trust me, Kenz. You don’t want Ford to start cooking.”

“I can cook just fine, Wendy.” Ford retorted, but was cut off by Loona laughing out loud. “You burnt the water once trying to make toast.”

“SHUT UP!!!”

“How does one bloody burn the water after making toast?” I remembered when Gran told the story of when my mother almost burned down the house making toast. “At least you don’t get hair in the pancakes like Stan or glitter in the coffee like Mabel.”

“That’s not glitter she puts in the coffee, Kenz.” Loona chuckled as if she couldn’t believe how naive I am. “It’s not? But it’s so sparkly.”

“It’s smile dip.”

“What’s that?” This made Loona laugh harder, to which Ford had to explain. “Back in the 70’s, laws about candy were looser about what could be put in it. Smile dip contains a mild hallucinogen. It was banned with Regan’s whole ‘War on Drugs’ in the 80’s, but the locals of Gravity Falls are such hippies with drugs that it stayed around in convenience stores. Whatever you do, don’t snort it.” He pulled up to the speaker in the drive through. On the speaker was a bunch of crashing and a few chickens clucking. “What the fuck?”

“It’s just normal Gravity Falls Weirdness.”

“What do you mean?” Wendy burst out laughing. “Kenz, you have no idea what you’re about to be getting into by staying into this town.”

“And by the way. That clucking noise? That’s not a chicken. That’s the local cockatrice.”

“Should we go in there and make sure the employees aren’t turned to stone or set on fire?”

“I think they deal with this shit all the time.” Loona pulled up the Starbucks app on her phone and started putting in an order. “What do you want, Kenz?”

“I uh…” Just as I was about to say “I shouldn’t,” my stomach snarled with the intensity of a pack of wolves and my mouth was parched like the Sahara desert. “I’ll take a Trenta Strawberry assayee (Side note: I know it’s açaí, but I can’t pronounce it like that because I never quite learned to and it’s funnier to pronounce it assayee. Whenever Kenz mispronounces things, whether by accident or on purpose, I spell it how it’s pronounced because you can’t really show how a character pronounces something in fanfiction or written media like you can in scripted media like film and animation. By the way, if one of you idiots manage to animate this, Kenz’s voice is a bad moonkitti (the warrior cats YouTuber) impression done by me. However, their singing voice should they ever sing is my normal singing voice. Okay bye.) and a double smoked bacon cheddar and egg and… ooh… maybe a brownie—“

“You’re getting a brownie. There’s no maybe in this.”

“Says who?” Loona burst out laughing again. “Says me. Now don’t say you’re gaining weight because god knows that you were in a coma for five weeks and you barely ate shit!!! You tend to lose weight really quickly because you were 150 pounds before the coma and are now about 90. Billion fucked with your metabolism—“

“How the fuck do you know this?” To which Ford interjected, “It’s not rocket science. That much weight loss can be fatal. I don’t know how Bill managed to restore your ability to walk. He’s known to manipulate the biology of his victims. I think the way those wound appeared was that he—“

“Booo!!! I didn’t ask to go to school today!!!”

“Nerd!!!” Wendy and Loona flipped off Ford as I glared daggers at them. “I find Ford’s description of how I almost died very vital for my future survival aspect and somehow very interesting, thank you very much.”

“TP!!!!”

“That’s not the first time I’ve been called that, Loona.” I flipped her off back as Ford almost had to stop the car laughing so hard.

“Kenz, you need to learn to live a little. Like have you ever snuck out?” Wendy was very adamant about this.

“Uh… No?”

“Have you ever dated or made out with someone your parents didn’t like just because it made your parent mad?”

“Does kissing a boy in first grade but not with tongue on the lips count?” Loona and Wendy exchanged amused glances. “Lame.”

“Wait, you’re still a virgin?” Loona started to laugh. “How can someone who’s the senior football star’s firstborn child not have even been to a party with drugs in it?”

“Does alcohol and cigarettes count?” Even Ford couldn’t believe how dense I was being, considering how he had to hold himself still trying to get the drinks and food from the drive thru window. “Even I have been to a party with drugs. Quite a few parties with drugs.”

“Multiversal parties don’t count—“

“I was dragged along to those parties by Stanley when we were in high school.”

“And they let you two in?” Loona scoffed, to which Ford replied with a nod. “Stanley knew how to supply the drugs. Most people used him for his ADHD.”

“Okay. That’s sad.”

“Not as sad as having to spend your high school years in an independent study program during and after a global pandemic and not being able to party outside of family barbecues.”

I opened my mouth to reply, but instead took a bite of my sandwich and a sip of my drink. “Touché.” I finished the sandwich swiftly and moved onto the brownie.

“If even Ford has been to a high school rager, then you, my friend, need to get out.” Loona booped my nose. “By the way, your face is covered in chocolate.”

I licked the chocolate off my face. “Was saving that for later.” Loona burst out laughing as Wendy patted my head. “You know what? I like you. You would have fit right in with the band and theatre kids, yet not in an annoying way. Like, how should I put this, Loona?��

“Like those weirdly hot kids—“

“Excuse me?” I hid into my shirt and blushed. “Take it as a complement.” Loona laughed.

“Oh dear.” Ford sighed, reaching to bat my back, but then retracted his hand as he remembered that I was touch aversive.

“You know what Kenz needs Ford?” Wendy took a sip of her iced caramel macchiato. “Kenz needs to go out. Let loose. Be with other young adults that actually do things instead of rot and play Pokémon.”

Ford paused for a moment. “Kenz needs a bad influence. I doubt they’ve ever done a shitty decision in their life.” Loona was practically screaming in agreement.

“I don’t need a bad influence. Bills been a bad enough influence on me, thank you very much. And I just go into town—“

“You’re coming to this party whether you like it or not, Kenz.”

“And Grandpa Ford isn’t going. He’s a lame drunk and an even lamer stoner.”

“I can’t argue with that, according to kids these days standards. Just don’t drag my grandneice and nephew into your shenanigans. They’ve made enough bad decisions.”

“I’ve made bad decisions. I got into a psych ward on my eighteenth birthday. That’s practically prison.”

“That’s just sad.” Loona started texting on her phone. “Ford?”

“Im gonna agree on the girls with this one. That is really sad. Also, you were kinda voluntarily admitted for a plan—“

“Why do they even want to hang out with me if I’m so lame anyways? I thought I was too nerdy with all my weird bug facts and emotional baggage…”

Loona and Wendy burst out laughing. “Kenz, you don’t know it, but you’re the opposite of lame.”

“You don’t know me. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I can barely handle caffeine without taking a nap. And also, I can’t drive because my ADHD is just… That way. So I can’t be a designated driver.”

“But you’re hilarious.”

“No I’m not. Im grumpy and grouchy and… and… Darkness. Darkness danger and death. We literally just met. You don’t know what I’m like. Any of you.”

“Maybe we don’t. Maybe we just wanna get to know you better. To get to know you besides the shitty hand you were dealt. And by the way, you can listen to Emo music all you want, but you’ll never truly be a hardcore Emo kid. I’ve seen you around animals. You talk to them like they’re your friends. It will never not be adorable.”

“Wendy, I’m not—“

“Kenz, look. That kid has a lab!”

“What? Labbydor? Where? Where pupper?!” The car burst out laughing as I grumbled. “Ha ha. It says gullible on the ceiling and I dropped my pocket and shit.”

“At least you’re honest.” Loona smiled. “You guys don’t think it’s creepy when I talk to snakes like they’re dogs, or when I catch a weevil and let it crawl on my arm for hours shouting ‘WEEVIL TIME’ at the top of my lungs?”

“You make it hilarious. That’s part of your charm.”

“Someone has to be able to handle spiders and creepy crawlies.” Loona started to speak in an Australian accent. “You’re like Steve Irwin, mate.”

“I’ve seen your art on tumblr and your tiktoks. They’re hilarious. And you’re an excellent drawer. Also, props to you for putting AI in its place.” Wendy smiled and put her phone down.

Ford pulled up at the shack as I sat down on the couch. “What are you doing?”

“Getting ready to go to sleep.” Loona shook her head and lifted me up. “Come on!!! I’m exhausted!! The party’s tomorrow!!!”

“Slumber party!!!”

“Loona, be careful using that word around here. Because if Mabel hears you have a slumber party with Kenz, then Candy and Grenda are gonna be milleseconds away. And that will be too much intensity for them to take.”

“Why don’t we drag them to your place? They don’t even have a room here, yet.” Loona carried me fireman style to Wendy’s house. “We’re doing this? We’re seriously doing this?”

[mlmxreader]

Film Night | Sierra Six x m!reader

@satan-incarnate-666 asked: can i get an order of uhhhh six x m!reader with a side of uhhhh

"Kiss me like that again, I dare you"

i hAVE MORE BUT THANK U

summary: when there’s little else to do, you and Six tend to sit down and watch a film, but between getting distracted and then interrupted, it doesn’t seem like the night will go to plan 

tws: smoking, horror films, make-out sessions that get interrupted 

word count: 1003

When there was little else to do throughout the night, it wasn’t rare for you and Six to sit down and to watch a film together, usually it was something that was branded as controversial, disgusting, vile even - but they were never really all that bad, and Six showed no sign of either liking or disliking them either; tonight was one of those nights, Claire was sound asleep upstairs with the dogs in the room with her after Six had moved their beds up, and you had put on an eighties film by a director called Ruggero Deodato - it was his most controversial film - before snuggling down next to Six quite happily. He put his arm around you and held you tight, keeping you close to his body while you watched the film; but he kept looking at you, even when the anthropologist protagonist was comically sick, he kept looking at you with such fondness, wishing and wanting nothing more than to kiss you in the dim light of the room. He knew you would catch him, and when you eventually did, there was nothing he could do about it; it was slow, you getting on his lap and straddling his waist, your hands on the back of the sofa either side of his head as you let him rest his hands on the sides of your thighs, his breathing getting a little more intense as he licked his lips and let you decide. 

Six was genuinely surprised when you kissed him, and although he didn’t want the first time to be such, he couldn’t help but to be a little rough with it, pouring every ounce of his desperation into the kiss as he tried in vain to pull you closer and closer; you kissed him back just as fiercely, even going so far as you open your mouth so that he could slip his tongue in, drawing the softest and most quiet of moans from your mouth as he continued to kiss you as roughly and as hard as he could. It was breathtaking, your head was spinning and you were certain that you could see stars and you were almost certain that your heart was going to rip through your chest with ease; but then he pulled away, and although his lips were plump from the kiss and although he was blushing, the excitement in his eyes was too much to resist. 

“Kiss me like that again, I dare you,” you breathed out with a soft laugh. 

He was more than happy to oblige, although this time, he started to move you onto your back, pressing you against the sofa as he took your breath away… at least, until the light turned on; scrambling for the television remote and to pull apart, you and Six were practically falling over yourselves, pausing the film at - thankfully - a scene that just looked like a middle aged man on holiday. Claire rubbed her eyes as she wandered into the room, looking between you and Six with a frown. 

“(y/n)?”

“Yeah?” You rushed to her side, making sure that she wasn’t hurt. “You okay?”

“I had a nightmare,” she admitted quietly. “Can I stay down here with you and Six?”

You looked over at him, and he nodded, so you sighed. “Sure! You want anything to drink? Anything to eat?”

She shook her head, getting comfortable on the sofa while Six turned the television over to the news, instead; she cuddled into Six’s side while you sat beside her with a little smile. The poor kid had been through so much, lost more family than anyone ever should have - all she had was you and Six. 

“Are you and Six boyfriends?” She asked with a yawn. 

“Uh…” you swallowed thickly, frowning as you met Six’s glare. “You can answer that.” 

Six sighed, running a hand through his hair as he looked down at Claire. “Yeah, we are.” 

“Good,” she muttered, already falling asleep. “Because I told my English teacher you were dating.” 

Six rolled his eyes, but he soon looked over at you, daring to smile as he mouthed, “continue later?”

You nodded, smiling back at him and reaching across the sofa so that you could hold his hand as you dared to mouth back, “when we’re alone.” 

Six nodded back, holding your hand tightly as he tried to relax a little; he was worried about Claire, she hadn’t had nightmares in months, but at least she was asleep again. He felt bad when you snuck out for a cigarette and he followed, but Claire didn’t stir; not even when you both caused the metal fly repellent chains to jangle as you stepped outside. 

“Do you think she’s okay?” You asked quietly. 

Six shrugged. “She seems settled.” 

“Maybe we can ask her about it tomorrow,” you suggested. “See if there was a, a trigger - y’know, maybe a car drove past and the light got through the curtains.” 

He nodded, taking a drag from his cigarette and looking away; Claire was his baby sister, and he didn’t want anything or anyone to hurt her, but even he knew that he couldn’t protect her from everything. 

“Y’know, if you’re not busy tomorrow, while she’s at school, we could pick up where we left off,” you told him, finally drawing a little smile from him. “I gotta admit, though, it was a damn good kiss.” 

Six smirked as he dared to look at you, meeting your gaze once more. “Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah,” you grinned. “Makes me glad you’re my boyfriend, really.”

He scoffed at that remark, daring to move so that he could sit on the patio step as he continued to smoke; he watched you as you stood in front of him, smoking, bathed in the moonlight and the automatic lights he had installed a while back. You looked so fucking handsome, he was glad he had you; he was glad that he could call you his boyfriend, he could say you belonged to him.

if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - you SHOULD reblog it.

[electric--blanket]

a place where the heart rests

so, because @thekaiserroll drew fanart of my fanfiction i decided to return the favour by writing a long Wintersberg one-shot based off of her short comic! i hope you enjoy touch-starved Heisenberg.

warnings for death (not for main characters) and some angst.

read on ao3

--

Mama… I want mama. It hurts.

Where’s mama?

Karl Heisenberg always suffered from nightmares. Even before he was taken in by Mother Miranda — as a child, Heisenberg often experienced night terrors that had him screaming in his bed. There were distant memories in the back of his mind, where he’d wake from a terrible dream that had him screaming for his mother — and she’d always come to his side. In that terribly large, cold estate that Heisenberg once called home, it always felt so lonely. But, his mother always eased his fears; with her silk nightgown and the distinct smell of expensive soap. Her soft fingers would comb through Heisenberg’s locks of ashen brown hair, hushing him in a soft tone of voice — a voice he could no longer remember.

During the experiments, it was the only thing Heisenberg begged for when he felt the cadou infesting his body. It felt like a worm wriggling around in the wet soil during a storm, curling and writhing through his organs. He screamed for his mother, wishing she would save him from the pain and take him home again. A seventeen-year-old boy screaming for his mother to come and save him looked utterly pathetic from Mother Miranda’s perspective, and the feeling of fear only intensified when she stroked Heisenberg’s hair whilst he screamed. A soft whisper that uttered, “I’m your mother now, child.” It made Heisenberg nearly vomit.

That was the last time someone had ever touched him so tenderly. He’d not felt a loving touch since then and ducked away from Miranda’s so-called ‘motherly’ touches.

At first, Heisenberg coped with the intense trauma of his bodily changes by taking it in stride and calling his newfound power of magnetism a ‘gift’. He knew deep down it was the opposite: it stopped him from ageing, rendered him infertile and stripped away his dignity by becoming a slave to Miranda. It took a long time for Heisenberg to fully process what had happened to him. His father had left him in the clutches of a madwoman, and his life only got worse from there.

In a fit of rage — perhaps at the age of twenty-nine — he revisited his parent's estate to confront the man he could no longer call ‘father’. He had aged since Heisenberg last saw him, but those steel eyes he’d inherited were still as hard as ever. His mother lingered in a doorway just down the hall, but she didn’t dare come to greet her son as he snapped with a short, interrupted breath. Heisenberg had grabbed his father by the neck and pinned him to the nearest wall, knocking down a beautiful oil painting his mother adored. His fingers didn’t seem to stop, squeezing on the skin and bone until he felt a sickening crack vibrate beneath his fingers.

Heisenberg hadn’t meant it, not really. It was as if a demon had taken control of his body and sought revenge that barely mattered anymore. He didn’t realise what he’d done until he heard the sound of his mother screaming; distraught and fearful of her own son that she’d once coddled so long ago.

That was the last time Heisenberg saw his mother and father. The estate was quickly abandoned not long after, and from what he knew, his mother took her belongings and moved to Austria with some distant relatives. That large house teased Heisenberg every fucking day, with how it towered near the factory grounds and reminded him of what he’d done. Arson wasn’t exactly on his bucket list, but Heisenberg couldn’t resist taking a match to the place and watching it burn. Whatever childhood remained in that house was left in a pile of ashes, and he never looked upon it ever again. All of the silly dreams and hopes he’d had for his life were gone.

That was until Ethan Winters showed up. Nearly a hundred years later, Heisenberg felt something he’d sought after for so long — hope.

**

“Karl? Karl—!”

Mama. I want mama. Everything hurts.

Heisenberg forced his eyes open. It felt like his life was replaying in front of him whilst he was passed out; like watching an old film reel repeating itself and becoming more distorted each time. Up until that very night, Heisenberg’s life had been a series of traumatic events and unforgivable actions.

That night, he’d turned it all around just by laying his eyes on Ethan Winters. A man so incredible, resilient and insane… He’d do anything to get his little girl back. It was the man Heisenberg had oh-so wanted his father to be, and he admired that about Ethan. He’d never been so good at expressing his emotions honestly, or even laying out his ideas in a proper fashion to others… Oh, but Ethan was special. He’d shown Heisenberg patience that he’d not been offered before and decided to join him at his side to kill Miranda. Together.

“Karl… Fuck— Don’t die on me, asshole.”

Ethan… Ethan…

Above the metal remnants of what his mutated body had used as a shell, he could hear Ethan pushing the scrap aside to try and find Heisenberg buried beneath it. He could also hear the distinct cries of a distressed baby, something that brought him back to Earth. Heisenberg reached up through the metal until his bare, calloused fingers brushed up against Ethan’s soft knuckles. There was a moment of silence when their skin touched, but Ethan didn’t waste any time in grabbing Heisenberg’s hand and pulling him out.

The moment the pressure around his body ceased, Heisenberg felt the telltale feeling of sickening warmth seeping from many wounds across his body. The cadou inside him didn’t react too well to it, trying to cope with the trauma done by squirming and pulsating inside of him. Heisenberg drank in the expression of Ethan’s relieved face for just a moment, only until it warped into one of worry and horror. Heisenberg was weak, and his knees buckled beneath the weight of his torso before he fell back onto the ground.

The baby cupped carefully in one of Ethan’s arms began to cry again as Ethan jostled her accidentally in an attempt to help Heisenberg. A baby crying wasn’t really helping Heisenberg’s already distressed state, but it made him realise just how fucked he was. There was no way they would get away in time together, and Heisenberg was too injured to walk. The cadou might have helped to some degree, but it didn’t ease the burning pain in his body, and the loss of blood that was making him dizzy.

Ethan’s horrified expression was pinned on an appendage from the Megamycete, which rose up from the cave systems like a flower bud in spring, ready to bloom. The small, red flashing light alerted him to the fact that Chris Redfield had succeeded in planting the bomb. They had to leave.

“Go.”

A silence hung in the air for just a moment, and Heisenberg didn’t realise what he’d just said. For the first time in his miserable existence, he was being selfless and urging Ethan to leave him behind. It was the last thing Heisenberg wanted.

Don’t leave me here. I’m fucking scared. I don’t want to die yet.

“Fuck you,” Ethan’s voice trembled with venom, “I’m not leaving you here now. Not after everything we’ve been through.”

Heisenberg let out a bitter chuckle, tasting the blood seeping from his gums as he grinned, “I don’t think we have any time to be arguing about this, buttercup.”

“No. I— Mia’s dead, Karl. I need you.”

That’s right. Heisenberg briefly recalled Miranda’s kidnapping of the not-so-innocent woman and the experimentation that followed. Unfortunately, her body gave in due to her state after giving birth and she died on Miranda’s operating table. Ethan’s wife was dead, and Rose was now left without a mother’s loving touch.

“I said go. Rose needs her papa intact, not blown to pieces.” Heisenberg insisted, slumping back against the pile of scrap metal.

“Damn it—” Ethan looked hesitant to leave Heisenberg. It was a truly sweet sentiment: to see someone care about him after all this time. After all of the terrible things he’d done, and the love he’d been deprived of… Someone cared about him. Maybe that was enough. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to die like this.

“Fuck.” Ethan stammered again, licking his dry lips and swallowing, “Karl… I… Thank you.”

“... Yeah. I know, Ethan.”

That was all he needed. A trembling, watery smile shot his way before Ethan held Rose close with both arms and turned to run.

He’s going to be a great father.

Heisenberg looked up at the plant-like form the Megamycete had taken, looming down upon the ceremony courtyard with writhing mold creeping closer to Heisenberg. It was then that he decided that giving in like this wasn’t who he was: he was a fighter to his last breath.

In a last attempt to preserve his life, Heisenberg parted the pile of scrap metal and shuffled beneath it all. He rolled his wrist, the cocoon of metal surrounding him and tightening. The metal creaked, drowning out the sounds of the mold writhing around the metal to try and get inside. Heisenberg closed his eyes tightly, gritting his teeth. I won’t die. Not yet.

The explosion that followed shortly after was deafening, causing the entire ground to shake beneath him and the metal to shudder against his body. It felt painful, rippling off his injured skin like that… But, fortunately for Heisenberg, the explosion wasn’t nuclear — the blast was enough to do the job and wipe out the mold and the Megamycete.

A silence followed the explosion, brick and ash collapsing against Heisenberg’s metal cocoon. Each noise made him flinch, and his fingers twitched instinctively as some final line of defence. He didn’t know how long it was before he felt brave enough to let his guard down and release his telekinetic grip on the metal. The scraps suddenly slumped, collapsing around him as Heisenberg pushed the metal off of his body and emerged like a phoenix rising from the ashes of its former self.

The smoke and dust still remained, causing Heisenberg to cough heavily as he took a sharp inhale of the air. He squinted through the dust and remains of what was left of his home town and realised how much he’d lost. It hit him all at once; his childhood, his parents and his fucked up little family. Even though he hated Miranda and his makeshift siblings deeply, they were all he truly had left to call ‘family’. It was over in the blink of an eye, and Heisenberg suddenly felt like a child all over again. Like a child waking from a nightmare, scared and alone.

Heisenberg’s fingers twitched into tight fists, clamping his mouth shut as tears threatened to spill down his face. Even after all this, he tried to will himself not to cry, to never let down the walls he had so carefully built. But, at that moment there was nothing left to keep the foundations upright. Heisenberg’s fists loosened, and he brought his hands up to cover his face instinctively. A knot seemingly untied itself in his chest and throat, and a guttural sob left him. Maybe — just maybe — it was okay.

**

Navigating the woods was even worse during a snowstorm at night. It was bad enough that Heisenberg’s body was weak from his healing injuries, but it felt haggard from his intense emotional breakdown. In a strange sense, he felt relief from it but at the same time, it felt awfully inconvenient. Heisenberg was sure he looked like a terrible mess; his clothes were torn and his hair was damp with clumps of ash hanging from his silver locks. Not to mention the blood staining his clothes, and his valuable dog tags that hung low on his chest.

In his many idle chats with Ethan before they fought Miranda, he could recall the other man mentioning he didn’t live too far from the village. It was a fair distance away, but not too far that it would be impossible to reach if your car broke down on the road between them. Still, it wasn’t a pleasant or short walk.

By the time Heisenberg even managed to reach a place that looked like a livable home, he was close to collapsing in the snow… But, he held out. The lights were turned off inside, but a motion sensor light on the property turned on once Heisenberg got close enough. The bulb blinded him briefly, and he held a hand up to shield his eyes as he walked up the porch to the door. Heisenberg sluggishly lifted his hand, knocking on the door as hard as he could and leaning against the frame. It took a few moments before he could see a light turn on inside from the windows, and the sound of someone walking down a wooden staircase slowly.

The person on the other side of the door stopped before they reached for the doorknob, and they spoke out.

“Who is it?”

Ethan Winters. That voice Heisenberg had missed so dearly; in all of its glory and full of caution. It almost made him laugh.

“Let me in, Ethan. I’m freezing.”

“Karl?”

“As smart as ever, Ethan. Can you hurry up?”

Ethan was quick to unlock the door and remove the security chain, twisting the doorknob and pulling it open. There, Ethan was standing in a pristine white shirt and some boxers that hung low on his hips… Along with a pair of comical slippers that seemed to resemble a cartoon dog. Heisenberg’s lips twitched into a tired grin.

“Oh my, too much skin, Ethan. Back in my day—”

“Shut up and get in here!”

Ethan grabbed Heisenberg’s arm, tugging him inside to shield him from the snowstorm outside. He slammed the door shut and quickly locked it back up, and the two men finally stood face-to-face. There was a silence that hung in the air, with so many unanswered questions on the tip of Ethan’s tongue, but none came. Without any further hesitation, Ethan threw his arms around Heisenberg’s neck and tugged him close for an embrace.

It was the first time Ethan had touched him in such a way. So full of affection and genuinity, it made Heisenberg’s fingers tremble with uncertainty. He didn’t know what to do with his hands: so overcome with the touches that smothered him. His brows creased into an expression of relief, and Heisenberg’s steel eyes fluttered shut as he succumbed to the hug. He wrapped his arms around Ethan’s waist, squeezing him carefully and burying his face into Ethan’s shoulder. The smell of talcum powder and formula milk permeated his shirt, giving Heisenberg the comfort he craved. He never wanted Ethan to stop touching him, and he was content to stay like this for as long as he could — to make up for all the time he’d lost aching after affection.

“I thought…” Ethan mumbled slowly, “I thought you were dead.”

“Mm.” Heisenberg hummed lowly in response, curling his fingers into Ethan’s shirt. “So did I. Turns out I’m hard to kill.”

Ethan snorted softly.

**

As it turned out, Heisenberg wasn’t too bad with kids.

It was a tough adjustment for the two men at first; Ethan had to keep Heisenberg a well-guarded secret as he was moved to a new location with Rose (courtesy of the BSAA). Heisenberg followed their steps at a safe distance, but he was never too far from them. Understandably, Ethan was moved into a smaller home: a humble bungalow in a quiet German village. Once the BSAA had left Ethan in peace with Rose, it didn’t take long before Heisenberg settled into the bungalow with them.

Ethan had insisted that if Heisenberg was going to stay there with him and Rose, then he’d need to learn to help take care of the baby. At first, he was extremely hesitant to do something akin to a parental figure… But, Rose was a surprisingly sweet baby. She didn’t fuss too much and rarely threw a tantrum over the little things. Rose was the right amount of responsibility for Heisenberg, and that made him a patient parent.

He’d been taught how to properly hold her (after many lectures), how to prepare her formula and change her. Rose was understandably unhappy with Heisenberg’s presence at first, perhaps longing for her mother that was no longer around… But, after a few months, she took to Heisenberg very well.

Because of Karl’s lack of mortality and infertility, he never thought he’d take the figure of a father like this… But, it wasn’t exactly an unwelcome opportunity. He’d even upgraded from sleeping on the couch to Ethan’s bed.

The first night Ethan invited him to bed, Heisenberg could tell from the flustered look on Ethan’s face that it took a lot of courage to ask him to bed. A sexual joke lingered on the tip of Heisenberg’s tongue, but he bit it back in favour of keeping the proposal on the table. Instead, Heisenberg had nodded with a cheeky grin and followed Ethan to bed.

There had been some nights where the loss of Mia hit Ethan harder than he’d liked it to — even after Mia’s work with The Connections was revealed, he had still loved her to a degree. Those nights were the hardest. All Heisenberg could do was hold Ethan in his arms and comfort him with nothing more than his presence.

This invitation into Ethan’s bed was far more intimate than a comforting hug. At first, they stayed a polite distance apart on either side of the bed, with Ethan turned on his side whilst Heisenberg stared up at the dark ceiling. In the darkness, his eyes created shapes that danced across the ceiling and warped before him. Much like the mold that infested him, it was as if it continued to taunt him with its presence. After a moment, Heisenberg finally turned onto his side and glanced at the lump that was Ethan with his back to him. That urge to touch returned to the forefront of Heisenberg’s mind. It was that deep ache in his chest, like a lump of flour stuck in a smooth dough that needed to be coaxed inward.

He reached out but stopped himself before he could touch, trying to plan the best way to move forward with what he wanted. Heisenberg pursed his lips, shuffling his body closer to Ethan’s back until he finally slid his arm over Ethan’s waist. He could feel Ethan’s body freeze and tense up a little, which made Heisenberg’s heart feel like stopping altogether. Had he gone too far?

But after a moment, Ethan relaxed, pressing his chest back into Karl slowly. It was all the permission he needed to slot himself fully against Ethan and quietly seek out his hand. Once Heisenberg found it, he carefully laced their fingers together as he held Ethan like that, tugging him close with his elbow.

No words were spoken in the darkness, but a silent understanding of what they both wanted. Heisenberg finally felt complete like this, closing his eyes and exhaling tiredly. His body suddenly felt tired, releasing all the tension it had been holding trying to psyche himself up to do it.

A feeling of affection swelled in Heisenberg’s chest as he held Ethan, finally giving in to the darkness and drifting away with their bond now stronger than ever.

**

“Are you fucking insane, Ethan?!”

Chris Redfield. A thorn in Heisenberg’s side, but not as bad as Miranda. His voice filling their home put Heisenberg on edge, but it didn’t really matter too much to him. It was around ten in the morning, and the couple had just had breakfast. The television was on, playing some cartoons in the background as Rose was sitting on the soft carpet of the living area with her toys, and Heisenberg sat close to her.

When Chris made an unexpected visit, and he spotted Heisenberg in the living room, the yelling began. Ethan had kept Chris just outside of the room so that Rose didn’t see her father getting angry, and Heisenberg made sure to keep her attention on her toys. Heisenberg was wearing a pair of tartan boxers, along with a button-up pyjama shirt with a white tank top beneath it. It wasn’t exactly the pinnacle of bedtime fashion, but it made him comfortable enough at night.

When the yelling only got worse and Rose seemed irritated by the noise, Heisenberg carefully brought Rose into his lap and crossed his legs.

“Hmm,” He hummed in feigned thoughtfulness, “Does ol’ Karl need to perform for little Rose again?” Heisenberg sighed dramatically, “Oh, the things I do for you.”

He turned his body subtly to the kitchen area, holding his hand out and focusing on one of the drawers. It slid open, a few tablespoons floating out from a cutlery tray. Heisenberg pulled his hand back, the spoons floating across to the living area and bringing them to a stop in front of him and Rose. With a simple, slow roll of his wrist, the spoons began to twirl and move in a circular motion above Rose.

Her eyes widened with fascination, the corners of her mouth opening into a gleeful smile. Absently, she reached up with her soft, pink hands and tried to reach for the spoons half-heartedly as they continued their motions. A soft laugh bubbled from her, causing Karl to smile softly.

“He’s a dangerous bioweapon, Ethan. He could hurt Rose!”

Heisenberg managed to hone in on those words; a sharp pain digging into his chest when he realised the implications Chris was trying to make. That Heisenberg was a monster. A bioweapon without feeling. A creature that would kill a child.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ethan pointing wordlessly at the soft scene of Heisenberg with Rose in his lap, entertaining her with spoons. That was all he needed to say, really — without even saying it. Even Chris was at a loss for words, and he quietly relented. Ethan was surely in for an afternoon of lectures.

It made Heisenberg smile a little more, turning his head subtly towards Ethan and catching his gaze. It was his quiet way of saying thank you. It went beyond thanking Ethan for trusting him with Rose but thanking Ethan for listening to Heisenberg, taking him into his home and loving him. Even though they’d never spoken those three little words out loud, maybe they didn’t need to. Their actions, affections and closeness spoke those words loud enough.

Truly, after all this time, Heisenberg didn’t think he was capable of ever being loved or trusted. Now that he’d left that horrible life behind, he was now a father, a friend and possibly a lover. The trauma would always remain, yes, like the cadou and the mutations. That didn’t mean he couldn’t be happy like this, in this simple little life he’d started to build with Ethan.

Maybe it would be okay.

[literallykenmaandshoyo]

Swaggersouls with a S/O who became viral because of an ARG

Swaggersouls with a S/O who became viral because of an ARG (female!Reader)

Genre: Fluff with a hint of fake gore

Requested by anon

Proofread: No

Music: Drowning in your feeling with Jschlatt playlist by Chocolatte and Dispair

Warnings: Descriptions of violence (ARG stuff), smoking,

Summary: Headcanons + bits of story about Swagger finding out you did an ARG

Author's note: This is such a good idea. I applaud you anon for coming up with this.

-Mod Kenma

You met Swagger at vidcon while hanging out with your friend Wilbur

You and Wilbur met because your ARGs were running at the same time

Wilbur met up with Phil and you just followed them around

Some people asked for some pics and autographs (which you did)

When Phil went to the panels, you followed and ended up meeting Misfits

It was a little bit of a shock to you because you're still relatively new to the content creator space but you soon felt comfortable

You talked to Toby and Swagger the most

After vidcon, you kept in contact with Misfits

You and Swagger slowly became close during this time, talking almost daily and being in his streams (one way or another)

You were even invited on his SMP

Your role in the SMP wasn't anything big but you enjoyed it nonetheless

He asked you out when he traveled to visit you

When you two got together, you were working on a combined ARG with Wilbur and a few other people

Swagger never questioned when you asked him to drive you into the middle of nowhere with a camera

Or when you came back after a video project covered in fake blood

You two were doing a media share stream with face cam on when Swagger found out

Someone donated a clip from the new ARG

A masked man was on top of you, pinning your arms. You were covered in dirt and blood, screaming your lungs out. The masked man cocked his head to the side and used his free hand to caress your face. A small whimper left your bleeding lips and your eyes were tightly closed. You continued to squirm. The camera was laying on its side, as someone had thrown it just from arms reach. A person in all back came from the shadows with a baseball bat. They swung it at the masked man and the clip ended.

Swagger looked at you, eyes wide. You could tell his mouth was wide open in shock. "What the fuck was that?!" He said. You laughed and looked at chat. Everyone was just as shocked as he was. "I can't disclose any information about that." Your answer made him upset. "What why not." He whined, pulling your chair closer to him so he could wrap his arms around you. "It's one of my biggest projects to date. I can talk about another project I did though." You took control of the pc and typed in the title of the ARG channel you made years ago.

When you showed it to him he was surprised

Swagger did suddenly feel bad because you're always supporting his projects but he wasn't doing the same

You explained your original ARG, the twists and turns, how you came up with the idea, and how you owe r/ARG big time because the users over there are the reason you got such a big following

The rest of the stream was still media shares but secretly, Swagger was planning a stream that was just going to be for your first ARG

When the next ARG stream came around, Swagger was prepared

You were out of the country for 2 months to get as much filming done with the group for the ARG

So, Swagger saw this as an opportunity to learn everything he could about your first ARG and join the game with your new ARG

Swagger watched the videos with intensity. He had a blank notebook out, writing down everything that seemed like a clue. Even though your first ARG was solved, Swagger still wanted to have all the information at hand. Once he had finished binging your ARG (it was so hard for him to sit through the scenes where your faceless character was crying, throwing up, having breakdowns), he watched the Film Theory videos about your ARG. He was surprised at the things MatPat pointed out and wrote them down. His chat was also giving him pointers, things that he missed.

You didn't know Swagger was doing these things

You were busy with the new ARG, streaming, and just other projects with friends

So when you finally got around to spending some quality time with him, he pulled out his notebook with your old ARG info he had collected

You watched as he excitedly explained things to you, one hand with a blunt and the other on your thigh

It was very flattering that Swagger was so invested in your old ARG

He even dove headfirst in your new ARG

He joined the communities and wasn't afraid to try to learn new skills to crack the codes

No matter what you do with your ARG, Swagger will support you and try to help solve them with your fans

[oscopelabs]

Isn’t Everything Autobiographical?: Ethan Hawke In Nine Films And A Novel by Marya Gates

When asked during his first ever on-camera interview if he’d like to continue acting, a young Ethan Hawke replied, “I don’t know if it’s going to be there, but I’d like to do it.” He then gives a guileless shrug of relief as the interview ends, wiping imaginary sweat off his brow. The simultaneous fusion of his nervous energy and poised body language will be familiar to those who’ve seen later interviews with the actor. The practicality and wisdom he exudes at such a young age would prove to be a through-line of his nearly 40-year career. In an interview many decades later, he told Ideas Tap that many children get into acting because they’re seeking attention, but those who find their calling in the craft discover that a “desire to communicate and to share and to be a part of something bigger than yourself takes over, a certain craftsmanship—and that will bring you a lot of pleasure.”

Through Hawke’s dedication to his craft, we’ve also seen his maturation as a person unfold on screen. Though none of his roles are traditionally what we think of when we think of autobiography, many of Hawke’s roles, as well as his work as a writer, suggest a sort of fictional autobiographical lineage. While these highlights in his career are not strictly autofiction, one can trace Hawke’s Künstlerromanesque trajectory from his childhood ambitions to his life now as a man dedicated to art, not greatness. 

Hawke’s first two films, Joe Dante’s sci-fi fantasy Explorers with River Phoenix and Peter Weir’s Dead Poets Society with Robin Williams, set the tone for a diverse filmography filled with popcorn fare and indie cinema in equal measure, but they also served as touchstones in his development as person drawn to self-expression through art. In an interview with Rolling Stone’s David Fear, Hawke spoke about the impact of these two films on him as an actor. When River Phoenix, his friend and co-star in Explorers, had his life cut short by a drug overdose, it hit Hawke personally. He saw from the inside what Hollywood was capable of doing to young people with talent. Hawke never attempted to break out, to become a star. He did the work he loved and kept the wild Hollywood lifestyle mostly at arm’s length. 

Like any good film of this genre, Dead Poets Society is not just a film about characters coming of age, but a film that guides the viewer as well, if they are open to its message. Hawke’s performance as repressed schoolboy Todd in the film is mostly internal, all reactions and penetrating glances, rather than grandiose movements or speeches. Through his nervy body language and searching gaze, you can feel both how closed off to the world Todd is, and yet how willing he is to let change in. Hawke has said working on this film taught him that art has a real power, that it can affect people deeply. This ethos permeates many of the characters Hawke has inhabited in his career. 

In Dead Poets Society, Mr. Keating (Robin Williams) tells the boys that we read and write poetry because the human race is full of passion. He insists, “poetry, beauty, romance, love—these are what we stay alive for.” Hawke gave a 2020 TEDTalk entitled Give Yourself Permission To Be Creative, in which he explored what it means to be creative, pushing viewers to ask themselves if they think human creativity matters. In response to his own question, he said “Most people don’t spend a lot of time thinking about poetry, right? They have a life to live and they’re not really that concerned with Allen Ginsberg’s poems, or anybody’s poems, until their father dies, they go to a funeral, you lose a child, somebody breaks your heart, they don’t love you anymore, and all of the sudden you’re desperate for making sense out of this life and ‘has anyone ever felt this bad before? How did they come out of this cloud?’ Or the inverse, something great. You meet somebody and your heart explodes. You love them so much, you can’t even see straight, you know, you’re dizzy. ‘Did anybody feel like this before? What is happening to me?’ And that’s when art is not a luxury. It’s actually sustenance. We need it.” 

Throughout many of his roles post-Dead Poets Society, Hawke explores the nature of creativity through his embodiment of writers and musicians. Often these characters are searching for a greater purpose through art, while ultimately finding that human connection is the key. Without that human connection, their art is nothing.

We see the first germ of this attraction to portray creative people on screen with his performance as Troy Dyer in Reality Bites. As Troy Dyer, a philosophy-spouting college dropout turned grunge-band frontman in Reality Bites, Hawke was posited as a Gen-X hero. His inability to keep a job and his musician lifestyle were held in stark contrast to Ben Stiller’s yuppie TV exec Michael Grates. However in true slacker spirit, he isn’t actually committed to the art of music, often missing rehearsals, as Lelaina points out. Troy even uses his music at one point to humiliate Lelaina, dedicating a rendition of “Add It Up” by Violent Femmes to her. The lyrics add insult to injury as earlier that day he snuck out of her room after the two had sex for the first time. Troy’s lack of commitment to his music matches his inability to commit to those relationships in his life that mean the most to him. 

Reality Bites is also where he first positioned himself as one of the great orators of modern cinema.” Take this early monologue, in which he outlines his beliefs to Winona Ryder’s would-be documentarian Lelaina Pierce: “There’s no point to any of this. It’s all just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know, a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle, and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt.” 

Hawke brings the same intense gaze to this performance as he did to Dead Poets Society, as if his eyes could swallow the world whole. But where Todd’s body language was walled-off, Troy’s is loud and boisterous. He’s quick to see the faults of those around him, but also the good things the world has to offer. It’s a pretty honest depiction of how self-centered your early-20s tend to be, where riding your own melt seems like the best option. As the film progresses, Troy lets others in, saying to Lelaina, “This is all we need. A couple of smokes, a cup of coffee, and a little bit of conversation. You, me and five bucks.”

Like the character, Hawke was in his early twenties and as he would continue to philosophize through other characters, they would age along with him and so would their takes on the world. If you only engage with anyone at one phase in their life, you do a disservice to the arc of human existence. We have the ability to grow and change as we learn who we are and become less self-centered. In Hawke’s career, there’s no better example of this than his multi-film turn as Jesse in the Before Trilogy. While the creation of Jesse and Celine are credited to writer-director Richard Linklater and his writing partner Kim Krizan, much of what made it to the screen even as early as the first film were filtered through the life experiences of Hawke and his co-star Julie Delpy. 

In a Q&A with Jess Walter promoting his most recent novel A Bright Ray of Darkness, Hawke said that Jesse from the Before Trilogy is like an alt-universe version of himself, and through them we can see the self-awareness and curiosity present in the early ET interview grow into the the kind of man Keating from Dead Poets Society urged his students to become. 

In Before Sunrise, Hawke’s Jesse is roughly the same age as Troy in Reality Bites, and as such is still in a narcissistic phase of his life. After spending several romantic hours with Celine in Vienna, the two share their thoughts about relationships. Celine says she wants to be her own person, but that she also desperately wants to love and be loved. Jesse shares this monologue, “Sometimes I dream about being a good father and a good husband. And sometimes it feels really close. But then other times it seems silly, like it would ruin my whole life. And it’s not just a fear of commitment or that I’m incapable of caring or loving because. . . I can. It’s just that, if I’m totally honest with myself, I think I’d rather die knowing that I was really good at something. That I had excelled in some way than that I’d just been in a nice, caring relationship.”

The film ends without the audience knowing if Jesse and Celine ever see each other again. That initial shock is unfortunately now not quite as impactful if you are aware of the sequels. But I think it is an astute look at two people who meet when they are still discovering who they are. Still growing. Jesse, at least, is definitely not ready for any kind of commitment. Then of course, we find out in Before Sunset that he’s fumbled his way into marriage and fatherhood, and while he’s excelling at the latter, he’s failing at the former. 

As in Reality Bites, Hawke explores the dynamics of band life again in Before Sunset, when Jesse recalls to Celine how he was in a band, but they were too obsessed with getting a deal to truly enjoy the process of making music. He says to her, “You know, it's all we talked about, it was all we thought about, getting bigger shows, and everything was just...focused on the future, all the time. And now, the band doesn't even exist anymore, right? And looking back at the... at the shows we did play, even rehearsing... You know, it was just so much fun! Now I'd be able to enjoy every minute of it.”

The filming of Before Sunset happened to coincide with the dissolution of Hawke’s first marriage. And while these films are not autobiographical, everyone involved have stated that they’ve added personal elements to their characters. They even poke fun at it in the opening scene when a journalist asks how autobiographical Jesse’s novel is. True to form, he responds with a monologue, “Well, I mean, isn’t everything autobiographical? I mean, we all see the world through our own tiny keyhole, right? I mean, I always think of Thomas Wolfe, you know. Have you ever seen that little one page note to reader in the front of Look Homeward, Angel, right? You know what I'm talking about? Anyway, he says that we are the sum of all the moments of our lives, and that, anybody who sits down to write is gonna use the clay of their own life, that you can’t avoid that.”

While Before Sunset was shot in 2003, released in 2004 and this monologue refers to the fictional book within the trilogy entitled This Time, Hawke would take this same approach more than a decade later with his novel A Bright Ray of Darkness.

In the novel, Hawke crafts a quasi-autobiographical story, using his experience in theater to work through the perspective he now has on his failed marriage to Uma Thurman. Much like Jesse in Before Sunset, Hawke is reluctant to call the book autobiographical, but the parallels to his own divorce are evident. And as Jesse paraphrased Wolfe, isn’t everything we do autobiographical? In the book, movie star William Harding has blown up his seemingly picture-perfect marriage with a pop star by having an affair while filming on location in South Africa. The book, structured in scenes and acts like a play, follows the aftermath as he navigates his impending divorce, his relationship with his small children, and his performance as Hotspur in a production of Henry IV on Broadway. 

Throughout much of the novel, William looks back at the mistakes he made that led to the breakup of his marriage. He’s now in his 30s and has the clarity to see how selfish he was in his 20s. Hawke, however, was in his forties while writing the book. Through the layers of hindsight, you can feel how Hawke has processed not just the painful emotional growth spurt of his 20s, but also the way he can now mine the wisdom that comes from true reflection. Still, as steeped as the novel is in self-reflection, it does not claim to have all the answers. In fact, it offers William, as well as the readers, more questions to contemplate than it does answers.

The wisdom to know that you will never quite understand everything is broached by Hawke early in the third film in the Before Trilogy, 2013’s Before Midnight. At this point in their love story, Jesse’s marriage has ended and he and Celine are parents to twin girls. Jesse has released two more books: That Time, which recounts the events of the previous film, and Temporary Cast Members of a Long-Running But Little Seen Production of a Play Called Fleeting. Before Midnight breaks the bewitching spell of the first two films by adding more cast members and showing the friction that comes with an attempt to grow old with someone. When discussing his three books, a young man says the title of his third is too long, Jesse says it wasn’t as well loved, and an older professor friend says it’s his best book because it’s more ambitious. It seems Linklater and company already knew how the departure of this third film might be regarded by fans. But it is this very departure that shows their commitment to honestly showing the passage of time and our relationship to it. 

About halfway through the film Jesse and Celine depart the Greek villa where they have been spending the summer, and we finally get a one-on-one conversation like we’re used to with these films. In one exchange, I feel they summarize the point of the entire trilogy, and possibly Hawke’s entire ethos: 

Jesse: Every year, I just seem to get a little bit more humbled and more overwhelmed about all the things I’m never going to know or understand. 

Celine: That’s what I keep telling you. You know nothing!

Jesse: I know, I know! I'm coming around! 

[Celine and Jesse laugh.] 

Celine: But not knowing is not so bad. I mean, the point is to be looking, searching. To stay hungry, right?

Throughout the series, Linklater, Delpy, and Hawke explore what they call the “transient nature of everything.” Jesse says his books are less about time and more about perception. It’s the rare person who can assess themselves or the world around them acutely in the present. For most of us, it takes time and self-reflection to come to any sort of understanding about our own nature. Before Midnight asks us to look back at the first two films with honesty, to remove the romantic lens with which they first appeared to us. It asks us to reevaluate what romance even truly is. 

Hawke explores this same concept again in the 2018 romantic comedy Juliet, Naked. In this adaptation of the 2009 Nick Hornby novel, Hawke plays a washed-up singer-songwriter named Tucker Crowe. He had a big hit album, Juliet, in the early ‘90s and then disappeared into obscurity. Rose Bryne plays a woman named Annie whose longtime boyfriend Duncan is obsessed with the singer and the album, stuck on the way the bummer songs about a bad breakup make him feel. As the film begins, Annie reveals that she thinks she’s wasted 15 years of her life with this schmuck. This being a rom-com, we know that Hawke and Byrne’s characters will eventually meet-cute. What’s so revelatory about the film is its raw depiction of how hard it is for many to reassess who they really are later in life. 

Duncan is stuck as the self-obsessed, self-pitying person he likely was when Annie first met him, but she reveals he was so unlike anyone else in her remote town that she looked the other way for far too long. Now it’s almost too late. By chance, she connects with Crowe and finds a different kind of man.

See, when Crowe wrote Juliet, he also was a navel-gazing twentysomething whose emotional development had not yet reached the point of being able to see both sides in a romantic entanglement. He worked through his heartbreak through art, and though it spoke to other people, he didn’t think about the woman or her feelings on the subject. In a way, Crowe’s music sounds a bit like what Reality Bites’s Troy Dyer may have written, if he ever had the drive to actually work at his music. Eventually, it’s revealed that Crowe walked away from it all when Julie, the woman who broke his heart, confronted him with their child—something he was well aware of, but from which he had been running away. Faced with the harsh reality of his actions and the ramifications they had on the world beyond his own feelings, he ran even farther away from responsibility. In telling the story to Annie, he says, “I couldn’t play any of those songs anymore, you know? After that, I just... I couldn’t play these insipid, self-pitying songs about Julie breaking my heart. You know, they were a joke. And before I know it, a couple of decades have gone by and some doctor hands me... hands me Jackson. I hold him, you know, and I look at him. And I know that this boy. . . is my last chance.”

When we first meet Crowe, he’s now dedicated his life to raising his youngest son, having at this point messed up with four previous children. The many facets of parenthood is something that shows up in Hawke’s later body of work many times, in projects as wholly different as Brooklyn’s Finest, Before Midnight, Boyhood, Maggie’s Plan, First Reformed, and even his novel A Bright Ray of Darkness. In each of these projects, decisions made by Hawke’s characters have a big impact on their children’s lives. These films explore the financial pressures of parenthood, the quirks of blended families, the impact of absent fathers, and even the tragedy of a father’s wishes acquiesced without question. Hawke’s take on parenthood is that of flawed men always striving to overcome the worst of themselves for the betterment of the next generation, often with mixed results. 

Where Juliet, Naked showed a potential arc of redemption for a father gone astray, First Reformed paints a bleaker portrait. Hawke plays Pastor Toller, a man of the cloth struggling with his own faith who attempts to counsel an environmental activist whose impending fatherhood has driven him to suicidal despair. Toller himself is struggling under the weight of fatherhood, believing he sent his own son to die a needless death in a morally bankrupt war. Sharing the story, he says “My father taught at VMI. I encouraged my son to enlist. It was the family tradition. Like his father, his grandfather. Patriotic tradition. My wife was very opposed. But he enlisted against her wishes. . . .  Six months later he was killed in Iraq. There was no moral justification for this conflict. My wife could not live with me after that. Who could blame her? I left the military. Reverend Jeffers at Abundant Life Church heard about my situation. They offered me a position at First Reformed. And here I am.” How do we carry the weight of actions that affect lives that are not even our own? 

If Peter Weir set the father figure template in Dead Poets Society, and Paul Schrader explored the consequences of direct parental influence on their children’s lives, director Richard Linklater subverts the idea of a mentor-guide in Boyhood, showing both parents are as lost as the kid himself. When young Mason (Ellar Coltrane) asks his dad (Hawke) what’s the point of everything, his reply is “I sure as shit don’t know. Nobody does. We’re all just winging it.” As the film ends, Mason sits atop a mountain with a new friend he’s made in the dorms discussing time. She says that everyone is always talking about seize the moment—carpe diem!—but she thinks it’s the other way around. That the moments seize us. In Reality Bites, Troy gets annoyed at Lelaina’s constant need to “memorex” everything with her camcorder, yet Boyhood is a film about capturing a life over a 12-year period. The Before Trilogy checks in on Jesse and Celine every nine years. Hawke’s entire career. in fact, has captured his growth from an awkward teen to a prolific artist and devoted father, a master of his craft and philosopher at heart. 

[americxn]

Can I request Smut headcanons where reader is a detective and tries to seduce JPM to get information, but she el punished for being nosy.

Marked (JPM x GN!Reader)

alternative (more exciting) fic:

these aren’t really headcanons but we move

also, @undeadcortez very recently posted a fic titled deadly consequences that I would 1000% recommend reading as a general fic rec, but I also just wanted to mention it because I feel like I kinda followed a smiliar mood so please go read it!

warnings: hickeys, spanking, not full smut but still NSFW  wordcount: 2.4k

James knew your game from the moment you first set foot in his hotel, your feigned innocence providing him with endless amusement. Under the guise of a temporarily homeless student needing a place to stay whilst your downtown apartment underwent lengthy renovations, you had booked a room on the fifth floor of the Cortez for seven weeks; of course this was all fabricated: you were an established detective, having graduated from college five years earlier and having been assigned a job looking into the recent disappearances at the Hotel Cortez. The disappearances were perplexing, even to you; five people had gone missing over the span of a month, their bodies undetectable. And hotel owner, James Patrick March, was at the top of your list of suspicions. 

However, one month into your secret investigation had gotten you pretty much nowhere; James, a very private man, had only granted you with two meetings in the hotel’s bar, appearing for no more than ten minutes before excusing himself, leaving you with the barmaid, Liz. This, although incredibly disheartening, was perhaps the only thing that got you to the point that you were currently at now: working up the courage to knock on the door to James’ room for the date that Liz had set you and James up on.

Your nerves were overwhelming, the mounting anxiety that you would fuck this up and lose James’ recently ignited interest in you plaguing your mind as you rapped your knuckles on the hard wood of the door, your breath catching as it swung open almost immediately. You pushed down the flutters of pleasant delight that joined the nervous butterflies filling your stomach at the sight of him, glorious in his usual finery, a smile of genuine pleasure at your appearance growing on his pale face. Leading you inside with a warm greeting, he directed you to your seat at the long dining table in the centre of the room, his personal maid, Hazel Evers, nowhere to be seen. You keep your grimace hidden as you beheld the plate of steaming food already placed before your seat, your nerves reluctant to allow you to eat.

The dim light of the candles cast soft shadows across James’ face, the pale planes of his defined facial structure falling into shadow as you dined together, your glass of wine never empty as he took it upon himself to refill it for you, again and again. He provided pleasant company, and beneath your mask of growing romantic attraction with the man, you were secretly tucking every piece of personal information he offered you, which was limited, into a back pocket of your mind. 

Hours passed, your eyes growing heavy from the copious amounts of wine you had consumed; you silently cursed yourself as a light film of alcohol induced bliss settled over, fogging your mind and softening the usually blunt edges of your conscious. 

You weren’t sure how it happened, but when James offered you a cigarette, you stood from your seat, seizing the opportunity and slinking over to him, plucking the one he was smoking from between his lips, pushing away his empty plate and perching on the edge of the table in front of him. His eyes glowed with a newfound hunger as you gazed down at him, taking a deep drag of his cigarette before passing it back to him. Lifting your legs up, you rested your feet on the edge of his chair at either side of his thighs, your breath hitching when his cool fingers settled around your ankles, encircling them in a light hold. 

Your feigned confidence manifested in a small smirk curving your lips in response to the eager glint in his dark eyes as you leant in slightly, cocking your head before asking a potentially dangerous question: “How do you feel about all those recent disappearances in the news? Has it affected business at all?”

James surveyed you carefully, the room falling silent as you waited for his answer, heart thundering. “I was wondering when you’d ask.” Was all he said, his lithe fingers tightening their grip on your ankles, pulling you off the edge of the table with a strong tug. You fell onto his lap with a gasp, James’ hands moving from your ankles to your lower back, holding you to him. You mulled over his words, trying to sort through all the possible hidden meanings that his tone, thoughtful and dark, presented. His body heat leeched into you with your close proximity, his eyes gleaming with something you couldn’t place as he brought his face closer to yours. “That’s what you’re here for, isn’t it?” 

His lowly spoken words drew your heart to a sudden halt, the muscles in your thighs braced on either side of James’ legs tensing up. He seemed to track the small changes in your body, his breath soaked with the smell of cigarette smoke and whiskey as his smile turned positively predatory. 

“You can report me as being the culprit, but I can promise that it’ll do no good.” You drew away from him, your back arching as you tried to pull away, his hold on your back unwavering, not allowing you to move so much as an inch. “You knew?” You ventured reluctantly, a sense of dread settling over you as his tone fell utterly calm, his eyes never leaving yours as he reached up, running the knuckle of a cold finger down the side of your warm face. He offered a hum of confirmation, his finger trailing along your jaw and to your chin, forcing your head to lift slightly. “You were playing with me.” You concluded aloud, your voice unsteady as the fearful realisation settled over you. “Of course I was. I was made aware of your prying intentions from the moment that you stepped foot into my hotel.”

“I’m sorry.” You breathed in an immediate response, still trying in vain to break away from his close hold. “I’ll leave and just say that I didn’t find anything, I’m not -” you were silenced when James moved his hands to your upper thighs, pulling you roughly to him and bringing his face uncomfortably close to yours. “Are you really so bad of a detective that you resorted to attempting to seduce me for information?” His voice was close to a sneered growl, his hot breath fanning over your face as he spoke. At your injured silence, his words highlighting some unrecognised truth within you, he tutted, pushing you off his lap and abruptly standing, taking ahold of your wrists and forcing you across the room and through the open doorway into his bedroom. 

James was meticulous in extracting his punishment, ripping the clothes off your body whilst you merely stood there, staring at him, transfixed and not at all reluctant to do as he ordered as he pushed your newly naked body on his bed. The smell of him clinging to the deep scarlet sheets was intoxicating and you lie there, gazing up at him. He scolded you when you tried to cover your modesty, reaching down to pry your hands away from your body, positioning them over your head and ordering you to keep them there.

“You’re sinful.” He whispered roughly and you nodded, agreeing with his comment with renewed desperation. “Keep your arms above your head.” You blinked at him, but did as he asked. Satisfied with your obedience, James took ahold of your legs, pulling you roughly to the edge of the bed, positioning your feet against the floor on either side of his body as he lowered his head to the base of your throat, his hair brushing pleasantly against your collarbones. His lips were soft and warm as he pressed several kisses to your skin, drawing a trail up the column of your throat to your chin. You followed his movements by tipping your head back slightly further with each kiss as he progressed up your neck, allowing him better access and silently inviting him to use his teeth to mark you.

As soon as his lips had completed their journey to your jaw, skimming against the bottom of your chin, he pulled away, denying you the full kiss to your lips that you craved. He kept eye contact with you as he moved down your body slightly, his lips latching onto your ribs and proceeding to give them the same treatment that he had just forced your neck to endure. This time, he allowed his teeth to graze against your skin as he travelled from one side of your torso to the other, goosebumps forming in his wake, chasing after his touch.

You couldn’t help but groan when he pressed his nose to the space just beneath your breasts, his hot tongue finally coming into contact with your skin as he kitten licked his way up to chest. From above him, your own eyes were clenched shut, your mouth slightly parted as you forced yourself to keep your hands above your head. All you wanted to do was weave your fingertips into the dark strands of his hair but you knew that in doing so, you risked upsetting James and cutting this intimate exchange short. Using his tongue, he softly traced the area of skin where your ribs sloped down to meet your torso, tracing and licking back and forth.

James continued his thorough exploration of your body, skimming his warm lips along your abdomen, past your bellybutton and to one of your hips. You hissed softly when he bit down on your skin, simultaneously latching his lips onto you and sucking harshly. He moved back and forth between your hips, painting them in turn with blotchy, deep red marks, the sensation becoming slightly more painful as his brutal onslaught on your skin continued. His bites and kisses become increasingly more intense, his teeth closing tighter around your skin with each nip, eventually becoming hard enough to draw blood, leaving you squirming and whimpering beneath him. 

You were temporarily relieved when James pulled away, straightening and gazing across the marked planes of your trembling body with cruel excitement. That relief was short lived, however, when he took ahold of your torso, his strength unfathomable as he flipped you over with ease, placing his hands on your hips and pulling your ass up into the air, your knees scrambling to gain purchase on the edge of the bed, your back beginning to ache immediately with the strain of maintaining the compromising form he roughly positioned you into. The sheets were warmed by your own body heat against your cheek as you turned your head to the side, glancing behind you to see James taking in the view you presented him with, his dark eyes ravenous. 

“What are you doing?” You squeaked, your trepidation growing when James rubbed a warm palm across the curve of your bare ass fully displayed to him. “What? Did you think that this would be fun for you?” He crooned, allowing his nails to drag painfully across your sensitive skin. You winced, turning your head and burying it into the sheets as you braced yourself for what was sure to come next. “You look so much prettier with my marks all over his skin.” He mused quietly, the words causing you to shiver in anticipation as you awaited the harsh impact of his palm that he was sure to land on your feverish skin. When it came, you still shrieked, the force that he used unexpectedly brutal, the crack of his hand against your skin echoing around the large room.

He gave you no time to recover, instead landing another, equally hard slap to the other side of your ass, establishing a cruel routine of alternating between cheeks, each hit more jarring as he worked to increase the sensitivity of your skin, causing a light burn to spread across the entirety of your ass, tears pricking at your clenched shut eyes, squeezing out from behind your lids and soaking into James’ sheets beneath you; he had one hand hooked under you, placed flat against your abdomen to prevent your ass from shying away from the palm of his hand, his rings a cold impact against your soft skin, only emphasising the pain and leaving you a trembling, sobbing mess before him, waves of nausea rolling through you as James inflicted his punishment on you, any arousal that his lips had built dissipating more and more with each collision of his palm on your smouldering skin, the noises he drew from you utterly satisfying to you ears. 

With his brutal onslaught of your ass completed, James leant in licking a wet stripe from the top of your thigh, up your scorching skin to the plateau of your lower back, landing one final hit on one cheek whilst attaching his teeth to the other, sucking a deep purple mark onto your already brutalised skin. 

You collapsed onto your side as he pulled away, admiring his handiwork, your ass glowing with welts from where his rings had hit, pulling small raised marks up onto your burning skin. You watched as he stooped, gathering up all your clothes and bundling them under one arm, making a show of tucking your underwear into his breast pocket with a flourish before stepping away from you. He reached into the pocket of your jeans, locating your key card for your room on the fifth floor and chucking it onto the bed beside you.

“You can find your own back to your room. I’ll be expecting your next visitations to collect these.” He explained wickedly, gesturing to your clothes in his hold, throwing a self-satisfied smirk your way before turning on his heel and exiting the room. You stared after him in disbelief before shooting up, calling his name as he disappeared into the other room.

By the time you had stumbled after him, every inch of your body aching following his rough assault on your body, he was gone. It took you at least twenty minutes to work up the courage to leave the room, racing through the halls to get to your floor, the cool air of the hotel soothing your minor injuries as you barrelled barefoot down hallway after hallway, deciding to take the stairs. Thankfully, the late hour meant that the corridors were blessedly empty and no one was around to worsen your humiliation, much to James’ disappointment, who silently trailed you back to your room, the echo of your hotel door slamming and the following click of the lock making him chuckle. 

Taglist: @kitwalker02 @three-eyed-snail @forevercountess @kitwalkerangel @milly-louise @thecountessesglove @undeadcortez @kitwalker64 @samsassinparvismagna @xmaximoffic @divineruler @liandav @tatesweaterweather @evanmybeloved @tatelangdonsupremacist @ikkleroniekins

[seijohsbabe]

So here’s a thot with Makki not having a job he makes you get a job and spends all your cash on weed so inorder to pay rent and food he invites his friends over to pay him that way they can pound you makki even films it and sells it

A/n: I’m so sorry that it took so long but I’ve got sick and now my math teacher came up with a math exam ._. I’m a little bit overwhelmed with my school stuff but I can manage it. Support me with a reblog, like or comment ^^<3

W/c: 3,8k

Pairing: Iwaizumi x Matsukawa x You x Oikawa x Hanamaki

Tw: Fivesome, noncon, overstimulation, petnames, (getting filmed while getting railed?)

"Go and find yourself a job Makki it's annoying." You´ve told him that the hundred time this week, but he still laid on the couch and played some videogames with his friends. He was nice but extremely lazy. You searched for an apartment to live in, and you found Makki. He also searched for a roommate, the rent was cheap so you immediately said yes. But after a month he lost his job since then he didn´t found a new one. You thought that maybe he had just bad luck, but after another month, then you saw it, that he's just lazy.

You couldn´t move out, you wouldn´t find a new apartment or roommate, but now it's the third month in a row that you had to pay the rent. He even lent money from you but not for food or essential things, no he bought weed, his whole room smelled like it when you confronted him about it again.

"You bought weed? Makki! The money should be for food and important stuff and not weed, damn." you just couldn´t believe it, while you worked your ass up, he sat there and smoked weed which he bought with your money.

"Aw come on, it's good, try it." He said lazily while he was on his phone, tapping something on it. You were angry, and showed it to him. You stepped over to him, grabbed the joint which he lazily held between his fingers, and threw it on the ground and stomped on it. Now he stood up, right in front of you, he built himself up. Now you noticed that he's taller than you, way taller. He looked at you, while you couldn´t move an inch. His voice was quiet but you could still hear him. "You want me to get some money? Fine, I´m gonna pay the next rent and even a dinner for us." His little grin made you uncomfortable but it sounded good that he finally would bring in some money.

One week later, the doorbell rang. It wasn´t uncommon that Makki or you would bring friends over, but you two always said eachother if somebody would come over. So when you heard the doorbell, you eyed the door curiously, while Makki slowly walked to it. So he knew that someone would come over? Not one person, no there were three men who walked in, immediately bringing their eyes on you. Your eyebrow raised higher, while the three men sat on the couch. Makki was in the kitchen to come with five beer back. "Come on y/n, sit with us, I think my friends want to get to know you.

Your little feet padded over the cold floor, to sit right before the four men on the armchair, one leg over another, while your arms were crossed over your chest. Now you could take a closer look at the three new men. The one beside Makki was definitely tall, had dark brown hair, and looked bored, but something in his eyes told you that he wasn't anything but bored. The one in the middle had a big grin on his face, chocolate brown hair, and leaned on the back of the couch with his arms stretched on the top behind the two guys beside him. The one at the end of the couch had his elbow on the couch while his hand held his chin. He watched you with eagle eyes. His hair was kinda spikey and dark brown. all in all, they seemed quite interesting, but what did they want from you?

The one in the middle spoke up first. "So you are y/n hmm?", his eyebrow went up while his eyes focused on you. You were confused, whatever Makki was up to, your feelings told you that this wouldn´t be something good.

Your eyes wandered over to Makki, who wore a smirk on his face.

"Makki, I don´t know what this whole thing has to do with me but make it fast, I don´t have forever" Your voice sent confidence, but Makki still wore his shitty grin, and it made your blood boiled even more.

"You said to me I should bring in money, so here I am." he spread his arms as if he was presenting a big show at the circus.

"I´m sorry but I don´t have a clue what your friends should do here if you want to bring in money?" Your eyes narrowed, your gut told you to get away from here. "Oh that's easy y/n, they are here to fuck you. That's Matssun, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi," he said like it was the most normal thing in the world, but your eyes widened now and wandered over the three other faces again to get the confirmation that it wasn't another stupid joke from Makki. But they all just had a slight grin, but still looked like it's the truth. "Uhm- What? I- Makki that's not the way I´ve meant." your words stumbled over your lips, still in shock.

"You didn´t say anything about how I could make money, and now it's a little bit too late to tell me." You didn´t like his cooky tone, how he smiled so comfortably.

"Well, I´m out of this thing which you planned. It was nice to meet you guys but-" you couldn´t bring the sentence to an end, because a hand grabbed your wrist as you wanted to walk past the four. It was the one with the spiky hair, Iwaizumi right..? Your eyes went to his hand that had a tight grip on your wrist. The grip wasn´t actually tight, but when you tried to get rid of it, you failed. "How can you just go now, when we're actually so excited to fuck you?" the dark voice went through your whole body up into your ears. Your gaze wandered over to his eyes which stared at you. These eyes literally radiated dominance, even if you were staring down at him at the moment. You couldn't think of a word to answer, but the strength you put into pulling your arm away from the strange man disappeared. You just paused while he stared up into your eyes. You heard a little giggle, probably Makki. However, this made you wake up again and now pull you away completely to gather distance.

"I don´t know what you were thinking Makki, but I´m definitely not in this shit, you guys can fuck each other and sell it or something like that, but I´m definitely not joining." The four were unimpressed with your little speech and so the first one walked to you. It was the chocolate brown hair man with the shitty grin. He's tall that's for sure. His long slender fingers creeped up your face to let it rest on your cheek, where his thumb made little circles on it. It was calming, and you wanted to lean more into the warm palm, but you remembered yourself who he was, a stranger who came here to fuck you. "Come on." His voice was softer than from the one before, like honey, but still demanding. His hand was gone from your cheek while you got pulled with him on the sofa. All of them were now around you're laying figure on the couch. Their eyes looked hungry as if they didn´t get anything to eat the last weeks.

There were hands, grabbing for you. All of your clothes were gone in one eye-blink. Too many hands grabbed at your flesh, your thighs, your breast.

Now one of the four faces was right before you, you could see the eyes, their eyes glowed with desire, and it made your legs tremble. The stare was intense. Your heartbeat increased, your felt like you couldn´t breathe. The one from before had a huge grin on his face, it was the grinning cat. His hand was now on your face and began stroking your cheek. His long slender fingers were a little bit cold, but you felt every move on your exposed skin. They came closer to your cunt, grazed over your lips, and parted them, to let his middle finger sink in. Your legs kicked up, tried to close your core, but they were firmly attached to the sofa through the legs of the person opposite from you. His eyes studied your face, while he sunk a second finger into you, which made you whimper. You didn´t want to give them the satisfaction to hear you moan, but the brown-haired man noticed how you held back your moans, his slender fingers dragged along your walls and hit a point that made your eyes roll back. "Come on, let us hear your beautiful moans" His teasing voice rang through your ears. Another pair of hands grabbed one of your tits to knead them, while one of the fingers grazed over your nipple. You tried your best to hold back but with two stimulations it was all too much, so a little whine fell from your lips. The two digits which pumped in and out of you got faster and faster, your hands clamped on the bicep of the chocolate brown-haired man, and with another pump, the wave of euphoria washed over you, the pace of the digits inside your cunt getting bit for bit slower until they slipped out of you. Your eyes traveled up to the face of the man who just fingered the soul out of you. He lead his fingers to his face and licked them clean. His mouth around his fingers, he just hummed and closed his eyes. "Now you had your turn, get off her Shittykawa" a voice came from behind you. The weight above you disappeared, and two hands pulled you up, so you stumbled into the strong chest of Iwaizumi if your memory was right. His strong hands wrapped around your flesh of your thighs to lift you up. Your legs wrapped automatically around his strong torso, while your arms slid around his neck to get a steady grip. His smiling face was now directly before you while he walked you two to your bedroom, the other three men followed in one straight line.

Without noticing you arrived at your bed, and with that Iwaizumi let you go and you fell with your back into your soft mattress. It was warm and comfy but not with the four men around you, staring at you like a piece of meat.

Iwaizumi was right in front of you looking down at you. His hands wandered down to the hem of his T-shirt to let it roll over his head. His bare chest was now in your sight and you had to admit, he was a good built. His slow steps to you let wince, but faster than you thought he was above you and pressed a kiss against your lips. The kiss ended fast and pulled away from you to look you in the eyes only to attack your lips again. This time he was fast, demanding, and let you gasp for air. His tongue just pushed in and roamed your mouth. While one hand held himself above you, his other hand wandered over your whole body until it was at your center. The sudden touch let you moan into the kiss. His lips moved from your lips down to your neck, while he left a trail of saliva behind. Then again he released himself from your skin, his hot breath fanned against your lips. Your eyes couldn´t solve them from his until another voice came in. The tallest of the four, and he was butt naked now, his hard cock with a little bit pre-cum on the tip.

"Iwaizumi I think we should fill her real good, shouldn´t we?" The addressed one looked back at the looming figure behind him, only to nod and slowly crawl from you. The eyes of the other man ranked over your body only to comment a little "On all four bunny." You behaved and crawled on your weak limps. Your butt was now in his direction, and you immediately recognized his big warm hand on your hip. "Be careful with her Matssun" Iwaizumi said, now before you, his cock right in front of your nose. But your head turned around to look what would happen next, you were nervous, you had to say they weren´t small. "Eyes to me Princess." the voice before you mumbled while his hand grabbed your chin to pull it in his direction.

His warm eyes calmed you down a bit, but your eyes cramped together violently when you noticed that the man behind you now pushed his head in. Your hands clamped on your bedsheets, but Iwaizumi shushed you, while his hand stroked your head calmly. "Fuck, she's so tight-" Matssun now hissed. "Or you're just too big man." a voice rang trough the room, probably Makki.

But the words didn´t help because he sank into you more while his hands grabbed your hips. There would be red marks tomorrow but you didn´t care less at the moment. Your happy that he at least gave you time to get used to his size. And after a little moment, you felt him bottom out. You two groaned at the same time. His length touched all points you could only dream about touching with your little fingers, but the stretch was tough to handle. And when he dragged his length out of you only to push it right back in, it was too much for you, your moan was loud, animalistic and hungry. "Got that on camera guys" Makkis voice rang in your ears. But when you understood those words your eyes widened while you tried to raise your voice. "Makki n-no, AH- filming please." Your voice was quiet but he understood you, he was right in front of you, filming your face, while his hand drove through your hair. "Oh but y/n you said I need to make money and thats my way." His voice sounded nice but he fucking filmed you, if some of your friends would see this, they would hate you.

The sharp thrusts from Matssun hit your g point, and let you see stars every damn time, you couldn´t even bring a correct sentence out of your mouth. Iwaizumi took advantage of it to sink his cock into your warm mouth. The slurp noises plus the skin slapping filled the room, mixed with groans. There was a stinging pain because of the size of the man behind you. His length hit so deep inside of you, it was unbelievable. Iwaizumi on the other hand held your head up with his hand in your hair while his hip snapped recently into your mouth against your throat. Your saliva ran out of your mouth and rolled over your chin while you struggled to breathe. You've wanted to concentrate, trying to breathe through your nose but the sharp thrusts into your cunt made you moan and destroyed your try. Your knot in your abdomen needed just a little bit more to snap, and it did after another sharp thrust from Matssun. You're moans vibrated through your mound and because of that, Iwaizumi groaned too. His dark growl echoed in the room while you just saw stars. A sudden slap on your ass let your eyes shot open. The hand traveled up and sneaked around your upper body to grasp a breast, the man behind you leaned over you, his breath fanned against your neck. "You're perfect little girl, so perfect. Makki should be happy that you're his roommate." The dark voice rang in your ear while his pace increased, the overstimulation made your arms tremble. Your strength left your body, and only Iwaizumis hand in your hair and the strong hands from the man who pounded into you. A light made you look up, it was Makki again filming your ass while Matssun drilled into you, they both slapped your ass while they laughed about something, but you couldn´t care less, you were overwhelmed with everything. Even when Iwaizumi came right in your throat, you just swallowed it with a little cough and licked him clean. He patted your head, while praising you. The overstimulation was something new for you, but it didn´t felt that good as you thought it would. When Matssun tightens his grip on your skin, you felt his semen spilling into you, deep down. After some lazy strokes, he pulled out of you with a hiss. The sudden emptiness made you wince, but you got pulled against a bare chest in no time. Your back pressed against the strong torso, a hot breath fanned against your neck. "It's my turn I think", the warm voice made your hair on your neck stand up, it was kinda intense.

One hand stroked over your stomach and went higher to end up on one boob. The thumb stroked over you're nipple while his other arm held you up because you were still a little bit weak on your feet. Your head leaned on the shoulder of the man while you just enjoyed the nice feeling on your breast. It was relaxing after the torture you've been through. A little chuckle let the body under you vibrate, and it let you made your eyes open to look up at these brown eyes which stared down at you. His brown eyes shined, while he pulled you with him on the bed, you were on top now. His hands followed your curves up to your breasts where he went down again to rest his long fingers on your ass. Your hands in contrast were placed on his upper body to hold yourself up. Your limps felt tired, but you felt his erection on your cunt, ready to start. So when he raised you by your butt, you took all your strength again and lowered yourself onto his member. His sigh came out trembling, while you just closed your eyes and pulled your hands together on his chest. Without noticing he bottomed out and lift you up again only to let you fall in one fluid motion. Your moan filled the whole room, your walls clamped around Oikawa's cock, too deep in your pleasure, you didn´t notice the looming presence behind you until something tapped at your back entrance. Your head turned to the back to see Makki grinning at you. But your head got turned around fast again with a hand on your chin. The grip was tight, it made your head turn around and look down at Oikawa's lust-filled face. "Look at me when I fuck you senseless", his voice sounded so collected, in contrast to his facial expression. But you nodded at him and tried to have a better grip so you clamped your hands in his brown locks which let him groan. The cock at your back entrance entered now and went deeper and deeper. It was a little bit painful, but it was an insane feeling to be filled on both entrances. A long fuck escaped your mouth while Oikawa still moved into you.

You didn´t think that your room would be ever used for something like a fivesome, but here you are, sitting on a random man who's fucking you, and your roommate inside of you. Both of them drilled into you with such a force that made you see stars again. Your body fell onto the man under you, too weak to hold yourself up. But you got held up again from a strong hand on your throat. Oikawa has his hand on your throat putting a little bit of pressure on it to cut your air supply. "Come on, you should put in a little effort too little cutie." His smile let it looks like a simple statement but the dark undertone gave you an idea that it wasn't a plea. So you tried your best to hold yourself upon his chest, and also to get more oxygen into your lungs again. His hand wandered down to your breast to knead it. But you couldn´t breathe a sigh of release, because another hand grabbed your hair to pull your head to the back. Your neck bent back while your scalp burned like hell. The hot breath of the one behind you, the one you trusted. His trusts didn´t lose strength while he attached his lips to your neck to suck. Your eyes rolled back, the pain on your scalp still burned but the pleasure overwhelmed you like a big wave. "Looks like my lil roommate loves our cocks huh?" Makkis voice behind you let your eyes focus on the face under you again, your moans rolled over your lips, again and again, the hand on your hair loosened to grab your hip.

Makki slammed his hips one final time to load himself into you. His moans filled your ears, as you felt his semen ran out of you. One final pat on your ass and he let himself glide out of you, while the other one hit your spongy point on and on. His hands roamed your body, over your curves, to your ass where they went up again to slide along your shoulders to your head, where they pulled your head down to let your head rest right next to his. Your hands automatically found his hair to pull on it, it felt so soft between your fingers. It made him wince but he picked up his pace. You felt it, you had to cum the next moment but there is a tiny bit that was missing, so you tried to lean up a little bit and grab his soft hand. You pulled it to where you two were connected, but he just smiled at you, and let his hand grab yours. "If you want something princess, use your words"

"P-please help me- fuck-" his sharp thrusts never ended, but he smiled satisfied and let his hand glide to your clitoris to rub fast circles on it. That was the missing piece and with one final snap your knot explodes and the wave of euphoria came over you. You didn´t even notice the warm spurts of semen that got shot right into you. You only felt the long arms which pulled you up to let you rest on your warm bed, the voices echoed through your head but you didn't notice much because you fell asleep quickly, too exhausted to care what the four would do now with the video material or with you.

[fairyoftbz]

a rewritten faith | l. juyeon

🪕 pairing: bartender! reader x cow-boy! juyeon 🪕 word count: 4k 🪕 genre: western! au, 1920s!au kinda?, angst to fluff 🪕 tw: mentions of violence, guns, fights, close death experience, deceased father, false accusations, swear words, the reader has some trauma 🪕 synopsis: you are the owner of the local saloon and something usual will happen, but it will take an unexpected turn. 🪕 a/n: i had this idea while watching a western film with my dad and i hope it's not gonna be too bad... 🪕 requested: no

╰☆☆☆☆╮

Your head turned to look at the entrance as the swing doors of the saloon burst open, two sergeants dragging another man inside, his face and body littered in bruises and cuts. He winced in pain as they shoved him against the counter not far from you, both giving him a hard slap at the back of the skull. With an attentive eye, you kept on polishing your whiskey glass with your used piece of cloth, watching everybody’s attention drawn towards the three men.

“You bloody bastard! Did you really think that you would get away with that? Raising your voice at Sir Landfield and seducing his daughter to use her for your own needs? Who did you think you were, the sheriff?” the entire pub erupted into a coarse laugh, some men hitting their pistol against the wooden tables to express their mockery. You, along with the waitresses, were the only ones to remain silent, your eyes darkening as you kept on drying your glasses. “I never touched Sir Landfield’s dau-” “Enough, bastard!” one of them yelled and punched him in the face, blood now oozing from the young man’s nose as his head swung to the side at the violence of the blow. He stumbled on the right, his wounded hand quickly grabbing the counter to prevent him from falling.

The church bells rang as it announced another hour of the day, the wind shifting some dirt and sand off the ground. Quickly glancing outside, you noticed a convoy drawn by horses walking down the main street, their whinnying getting louder as the man guiding them whipped their back and sides sharply.

“Gentlemen. What did your good-for-nothing do to our town? And what brings y’all in my father’s saloon?” you asked, the attention shifting from the culprit to you. You arched a brow as you slid the whisky glass you’ve just finished cleaning and another one across the counter, walking over the liquors to fill it for the men with their habitual orders.

“Ah,” one of them grunted. “This bastard thought he was the best in town and started arguing with Lord Landfield over some laws. He threatened him and even tried to get into his daughter’s panties!” one of them shouted as you poured alcohol into their glasses, noticing an arrogant smile plastered on his face. You didn’t like where this was going.

The culprit raised his eyes at you from his stool and observed you working, your orbs boring into his for a quick second before looking away to grab another bottle of liquor.

“Well, I’m pretty sure he had some good reasons to speak his mind to the mayor. Does he have a name?” you smirked as you placed a glass of herbal liquor in front of the soon-to-be-dead gentleman. He thanked you by a brief nod, and his face contorted into a grimace as he rose his glass to his lips, downing the drink in one go.

“He deserves to be hung by the balls, he’s from the Lees! Lee Juyeon! No one touches the mayor’s daughter like that except her husband!” the man on the left banged his fist onto the wooden counter, making everyone applaud and raise their glass at the idea.

Of course, you disagreed with their horrendous methods, but who were you to counter. Since you didn’t want to be the next in line, hung and burnt alive, you preferred to keep your mouth shut and observe.

“I never touched her!” exclaimed the-said Lee Juyeon but was quick to get shut up. “You don’t get to speak up, you piece of shit! If I said that you touched her, you did, end of the story!” Another man threw his fist right into the apparent lawbreaker’s nose, who immediately wiped his blood-spattered face on the side of his dirty shirt and spat on the floor.

You could tell that Juyeon was surprised by everyone’s agreement, trying his best to hide the fear in his eyes by clutching his jaw. One of the stablemen left the pub for a quick second before coming back, holding a long, white rope with a dirty smile on his face. Faces lit up in delight when he skilfully threw it in the air and swirled it around one of the massive wooden joists before tying a slipknot on the other end. The young man’s hand clutched around his glass, and he stared at you, noticing a hint of despair behind his two dark brown orbits.

You’ve seen many men and women in his state, but for once, you spotted something different. Sincerity, pain, and hopelessness could be observed in this man’s behaviour. He looked like he couldn’t hurt a fly, but you also knew that men were good at lying and being pitied when it was needed. However this time, for some reasons, you felt your heart pinch at the visible fear daunting the cowboy.

The men of law sat down at a table near the swinging doors and lit up their cigars thanks to the waitress’ matches, only to slap her butt as a thank-you. She giggled like a teen girl, which made you even more sickened by the situation than you already were, many people emptying the saloon in fear of witnessing death.

“Oi bastard, are you thinking of a way to shag the bartender before your sentence? She’s pretty cute, right?” one of the officers yelled as the delinquent’s eyes lingered on your working figure. You sent them a death glare, and they elbowed each other with a dirty grin, the idea of shooting them between the eyes titillated your mind for a quick second. “Try not to get us thrown out, she can be pretty rough, just like her father,” you heard them snicker, and you turned around to sigh and roll your eyes, trying not to get arrested either by ‘disrespecting’ them, even if it looked really tempting.

Abruptly, the oldest officer pushed a chair with his foot towards the young man, puffing some smoke out of his mouth, the action leaving a greyish trail lingering above their bald, dirty-minded heads. The stableman grabbed the man from the counter and forced him to get on the chair before shoving his head inside the slipknot and tightened it.

Exhaling sharply as it already happened too many times since your father passed away and bequeathed the saloon to you, you closed your eyes and looked away, mentally cursing the sheriff for choosing your tavern for doing such horrible acts of what they called ‘justice’.

“So, Lee, any last words before we shoot you in the head?” one of the officers insolently said as he expertly swirled his pistol in his hand, his other holding the cigar close to his mouth. From where you were, you could see the culprit gritting his teeth, trying to remain neutral.

“No, I don’t. Because I have done anything wrong, except expressing my honest opinion to the sheriff. And, as much as you want me to, I never laid a finger on his daughter,” the man spat confidently, only to have the two officers and some other men around the saloon unpleasantly shaking their heads.

“I can’t believe it. Even at the edge of death, he’s still willing to lie,” locking the cylinder before lowering the hammer of his revolver, the officer pointed his weapon towards the young man, who stayed as still as possible.

Everyone stared at the scene with intensity, some drinking their liquors or taking puffs of cigars like they were watching and enjoying some entertainment. The culprit was staring intensely at the officers, making them understand that he wasn’t scared of the gun nor facing death. You, on the other hand, were exhausted of those illegal actions and atrocious scenes that already happened when your father was still from this world. Luckily, he always made sure to give you to the tailor next door when such things happened, but it wasn’t really helpful since you became responsible for the aftermath at a very age.

They weren’t the ones that got rid of the dead bodies they shot inside your establishment, they weren’t the ones crazily rubbing the dirt and dried blood off the wooden counter or ventilating the building to get rid of the gory, metallic smell lingering around, nor were they the ones getting scared and sick of working in such sordid conditions. Some graphic execution scenes were still lingering in your mind even years later and shocking you to the point of getting sick and wobbly for a few days, getting flashbacks of the gun firing off. No matter how many people you saw dying in the saloon or while walking around town after witnessing some settling of scores, you would never get used to this sleazy, corrupted method of getting rid of people.

And this case was the last straw. You could not handle another bloody situation, where people would be cheering and happily exiting the saloon as if nothing happened, leaving you mortified and scarred for the nth time behind.

As the sergeant was about to pull the trigger, you were swift to get out your dad’s revolver from the small compartment under the counter and shoot the wooden beam in two precise bullets. The waitresses shrieked and the rest of the souls populating the saloon flinched, hands going to protect their head and ears. You shot the wood three other times to make some dust and pieces fall to confuse everyone, hiding some bullets in your corset before going around the counter and grab the man by the sleeve. Among all the panicked people trying to rush out of the saloon, you dragged the man out through the back door, letting one of the waitresses take the control of the saloon.

“Come on, we don’t have a lot of time!” you said out of breath, the muddy ground staining the pans of your dress with a dark brown colour. The man looked still shocked to have narrowly dodged death, catching his breath as your hands were fumbling with the knot keeping your horse close to the wall. Seizing the reins with a soft yet skilled hold, you were quick to slide your foot in the stirrup and swing your leg over the beast, extending your hand for the man to take it.

He messily placed his foot on the wooden fence and jumped behind you, his hand still in yours as the fence collapsed under his weight. You felt his jerky breaths fanning your neck as you commanded the horse to race off.

“Ya! Ya!” you angrily yelled, repeatedly squeezing your legs around the horse for it to go faster as you heard some gravelly voices lingering around the saloon. Your horse neighed and picked up the pace, its hooves hammering the dried ground of the main street as you bolted out of the town. “Lower your head, we need to go faster!” you yelled and the man obeyed, your heart pulsating in your temples as you heard some screams and people opening fire towards you, bullets going through a few wooden wains from the neighbouring houses.

“Sorry about the fence,” the man whispered and you shook your head, eyes still focused on the dusty road. “That’s the least of my worries right now. Hold onto me instead so we can lose them faster,” you spat and whipped the reins on the horse’s neck, the man’s large hands landing onto your waist. “What’s your name, by the way?” he yelled so his voice wouldn’t be covered by the horse’s noises, and you slightly turned your head to the side. “Y/N,” You simply answered, trying to ignore his hands on you as he was accused of inappropriately touching the mayor’s daughter and pushed your feet down the stirrups as you went up a hill.

The town was quick to disappear behind you as you hurried into the taiga, following the winding trail as fast as possible. The lawbreaker was still holding onto your waist, his hold strengthening as you didn’t seem to be ready to slow down anytime soon. The concentrated look on your face didn’t subside at all, sometimes looking back to make sure that you weren’t being followed.

Your heart skipped a beat as your horse jumped over the railway line, his hooves toughly landing on the floor as the way started going downhill again, the man behind you hitting his chin against your shoulder due to the force of the impact. He mumbled a quick apology, but you didn’t even hear it, the wind blowing in your ears preventing any sound to reach you.

You finally ordered the horse to slow down as you reached another dense forest, the air feeling chiller as the sun was struggling to get through the infinite branches of sharpened pine needles. You and Juyeon kept your head low, the latter pushing his hat further onto his head to protect his already severely injured face from the spiky needles. He let out a small hum of surprise when you reached a small cottage with a wide range of greenery surrounding it, not expecting someone to live here. The air was so pure and fresh that it almost hurt your lungs, with no sign of tobacco smoke or dust from the road to poison your inner organs.

Getting off the horse, you drew the gun out of your corset and removed the bullets, tossing the revolver on a lonely stump. The man recoiled at the sight of the weapon, but instantly relaxed as you went behind the cottage. He grunted in pain as he got off the horse, giving it a gentle tap and rub its muzzle. It snorted quickly and turned around, walking further into the greenery to relax from the intensive workout you went through.

When you came back, the cottage key in hand, your gaze fell on the man leaning against a trunk, dried blood and cuts still covering his face. His bottom lip was split open, and his cheekbones were bruised, eyes bloodied by the dust and the several hits he received from the men of law. You sighed as you stared at him, hand sliding in the key and unlock the door.

“Come in,” you said as you pushed the door open, walking across the room to draw the curtains out.

Juyeon slowly limped inside, eyes travelling around the small living room, falling straight on a chair after placing your dad’s revolver on the table, the wood creaking under the collision. He groaned in pain and closed his eyes tightly, his jaw twitching as he suffered in silence.

You gave him some privacy and walked to the kitchen, getting some wood planks and a bunch of herbs and weeds from one of the cabinets. Just like your dad had taught you, you lit up a fire in the chimney and hung a small cauldron to the chain. You stood back up, the room getting filled with a heavy silence, not really sure of how to act with a possible criminal in your secret home. He sighed and groaned in pain many times as you prepared a brew and some lukewarm water to freshen up.

His worried eyes met yours as you heavily placed a wooden basin with steaming water on the table next to him, your hands sinking a piece of cloth in the warm water and twisting it.

“Take off your shirt, I need to clean and check your wounds,” you monotonously said, and the man’s hands hovered above his top, hesitantly undoing the first few buttons while looking outside.

He gulped as he exposed his torso to you, your eyes widening in shock for a quick second at the state of it. He got beaten up severely, red, and purple areas already littering his entire thorax. The bruises looked excruciating and probably caused some inner injuries, hence his unnatural movements.

You quickly pulled his shirt away from his body and ditched it on the table, eyes now wandering around his arms. He was pretty muscular – you couldn't neglect the steel-craved abs embellishing his torso – but the cuts and wounds were critical enough to damage the view.

Starting by cleaning his wounds and body with the piece of cloth, Juyeon tried his best to remain still, but it got intolerable at some point. He started hissing and cursing – not at you, he was grateful that you were willing to put yourself in danger to save and take care of him – but more in pain, his eyes flooding with anger as he recalled the sergeants’ faces and their accusations.

“You know,” the man started through gritted teeth before groaning as the piece of cloth grazed against a sensitive laceration on his collarbone, “I didn’t touch the sheriff’s daughter. I'd never touch a woman like that despite what they want everyone to believe,” you quickly looked at him in the eyes and chuckled, your hand delicately grasping his wrist to lift his arm to clean the residues of the cut on the side of the torso.

“I think it’s impossible for you to do so,” your voice trailed as you focused on your task, the man questioningly looking at you. “How so?” “She’s on the other side of the world, probably a thousand miles away from us. Serena is a successful woman, she’s sacred to her father. You probably saw her mother strutting around town like she’s the next queen, which is something quite ridiculous but funny at the same time. Serena is the pride of the family because she got married to an Australian businessman and is now living like a good middle-class person, you know?” his eyes widened as you explained everything to him, his tongue clicking in frustration.

“Lies? I became the scapegoat of those assholes for lies?” you defeatedly sighed and shrugged as the man was furrowing his brows, getting upset. “Welcome to our town, I guess. It is how we, no they, make the peace reign there. We all know that nobody shouldn’t mess with the mayor, but I guess that you are not from here, so you miserably fell into his trap,” you offered him a compassionate smile and carried on with cleaning him, wiping your damp hands on your dress as you got back to the fireplace.

You came back with the cauldron, hands enveloped in the wet piece of cloth as you gently plunged it in the water, Juyeon flinching at the steam surfacing from the warm-cold impact. Your eyes focused on the plant-based mixture you had prepared to heal and sanitise his injuries, following your grandma’s textbook to the letter.

Juyeon groaned again at the warm solution being applied on his body, feeling his skin itch and burn as you kept rubbing the product in. He looked up as you focused on your task, now rubbing his arm while holding his limb with a certain grace. On your face, he could discern some sadness and exhaustion hidden in your features, his mind wandering to what possibly happened to you to be in this situation.

“And you?” he started with a more hesitant voice as if he was scared to frighten a deer, “what made you the bartender of this saloon?” your hand quickly stopped working but resumed almost instantly, but Juyeon noticed.

“Owner,” you corrected, and his eyes widened, an impressed look painted on his face, “I am the only survivor in my family, they all died from sickness or old age. I became the owner of the saloon as soon as my father passed away. He was in this horrible business, letting the authorities do their dirty work inside the bar, away from prying, curious eyes. Of course, since I am a woman and is only good at taking care of children and clean, they keep coming here no matter how many times I refused. I, fortunately, didn’t have to witness every single execution when I was young, but it still sends me into anxiety fits when it happens. I’ve seen a lot of people going through what you’ve just escaped from and it’s almost impossible to get rid of the flashbacks,” you briefly explained, feeling the tears well up in your throat at the mention of your deceased father and harrowing trauma, but you swallowed thickly and repressed your emotions, keeping a neutral face.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean it,” he mumbled, and you shook your head, wetting your hands in the basin to quickly get rid of any remaining substance. “It’s fine,” you emotionlessly said, hurrying back in the kitchen to get some time alone.

Juyeon didn’t mean to hurt you by stirring some hurtful memories, but of course, curiosity killed the cat. Thanks to you, he had escaped his humiliating death sentence, and all he did was unintentionally pressing the wrong buttons. Agonisingly, he gritted his teeth and closed his eyes as he got up, the room slightly spinning as he limped towards the kitchen to come to you. Your shoulders were heaving up and down as you attempted to muffle your cries and silence your emotions, not wanting to break down in a room with a man other than your father. It was one rule that you forced yourself to follow, not wanting to appear weak to anyone's eyes.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention to hurt you like that,” his cavernous voice resonated against the walls of the empty kitchen, making you wince and quickly wipe your face with trembling hands before turning around. “How could you know?” you said with puffy eyes, the sight squeezing Juyeon’s heart as you tried to give him what was supposed to be a reassuring smile. He slowly walked to you and took a gentle hold of your trembling wrists, his chocolate orbs boring into your own. The gaze that you had found quite intimidating a few minutes ago when he was angry against his attackers currently held something completely different. It wasn’t pity as you were used to when you brought up your past, but something more like compassion and tenderness.

“Y/N. I know I'm a complete stranger and a criminal in your eyes, but I wanna help you the way you did for me,” he started, and you stared at the ground, trying to get off his grip. “I don’t need help,” you mumbled, but he didn’t let you go, the grasp around your forearms tightening but still felt consoling.

“Yes, yes you do. Withdrawing yourself into silence won't solve anything, it will only give prominence to your sadness and scars and prevent you from moving on. You don't have anyone to talk to about it anymore, you keep everything to yourself and stay stuck in this state of distress. You helped me avoid death and run away, so let me assist you in breaking away from your past. At least allow me to try,” he whispered those words to you as if he was afraid someone else would hear.

Tears blurred your vision, something that didn't ordinarily happen when the discussion topic was your father. You always managed to hold back your tears, but for reasons that were still unknown to you, with Juyeon, it was like your brain allowed him to see your raw, true side for some reason, despite knowing him for less than an hour. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t from your town and wouldn’t be telling your secrets to anyone else to cause you harm or humiliation.

“One trauma at a time. You need to get some rest first,” you countered his argument by guiding him out of the kitchen, and Juyeon let out a chuckle, frustrated that you cared more about his well-being than yours. “Very well then, but promise me you'll let me help,” he asked as you walked him into the rocking seat where your grandfather used to take his nap when he was still in your life.

"We'll see," you whispered, helping him to sit down before giving him a small smile. He let go of one of your wrists and lifted your hand to his face, placing a kiss on the back of your hand while never breaking eye contact, the action of chivalry making your heart skip a beat.

"Thank you for everything you have done for me," He mumbled before kissing your hand again, his damaged lips curving into a smile as you let your hand linger in his, against his mouth.

[yunhoez]

Swell

♄ pairings: suna x reader (in their 20s)

♄ genre: romance, angst, bestfriends to lovers (if u keep one eye open)

♄ warnings: cussing, smoking, suna & atsumu aren't volleyball players okay (don't yell at me), sfw for now

♄ wc: 2.4k

♄ a/n: okay so this is based on a script I wrote (it’s gonna be a film soon hehe), but considering I have to keep it short I wanted to continue it on as a fic! thank you to @chifuyuzu, @arumiee, @psmugglerr, and Mal♡ for encouraging me to do this and reading it <3 I hope y’all enjoy!

♄ songs - Swell by Lunar Vacation, I Don't Know You by The Marias

_______________________________________________

The low humming of the car and soft music coming from the radio sends you into a trance as you look out at the familiar streets of your hometown. Your head pressed against the seat feels heavy with the thought of being back in the place you ran away from. Your gaze trails to the two in the front seat, the streetlights hitting them enough for you to make out their features you’ve seemed to forget. Ava hums to the song on the radio lightly, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. Atsumu’s eyes are fixed on the road before he turns toward Ava and rubs her back slightly. She shoots him a small smile before returning her gaze to the road. The aching feeling in your heart swells, making your stomach churn.

“It’s weird.” You say, breaking the peaceful silence that once graced the car.

“Hm?” Ava hums, looking at you through the rearview mirror.

“Nothing ever seems to change here.” You state, staring back out at the window with a blank expression, catching a glimpse of the houses you’d pass on the way to school.

Ava shakes her head, although you tried to mask your emotions, she could tell that you were irritated. Atsumu laughs looking out of the passenger seat window, noticing the park he used to practice volleyball at.

“It really hasn’t been that long since we’ve been here, Y/N.”

“I know, but you’d think things would at least feel different.” You throw your head back in frustration, letting out a loud sigh. Ava laughs, turning her blinker on before she begins to turn into yet another familiar street.

“I don’t know, I like that things are the same here. It feels like home, ya know? Knowing that there will always be a place that feels familiar is kinda comforting.”

Your gaze settles onto Ava with a mischievous grin. You scoot into the middle seat, leaning in between your two friends. Atsumu looks over at you and giggles, looking up at Ava to stare at her with you. Ava takes her eyes off the road for a second to see you two, she rolls her eyes.

“What?” She deadpans.

“That was the cheesiest shit I’ve ever heard you say.” Your laugh fills the car, making Atsumu join in and eliciting a small huff from Ava.

“Shut up! Is it so bad I actually like my hometown?”

“Yes.” Both you and Atsumu state at the same time, further irritating Ava as she swerves slightly making the both of you slide in your seats.

“Crazy how I can just drop you two off on the side of the road and leave.”

“Not like we don’t know the way around here.” Atsumu says, poking at Ava’s cheek.

“Looks like you’re walking to the studio then.” Ava stops the car in the middle of the road, Atsumu looks at her with a puzzled look. She leans over to open his car door, you stare at the two in amusement waiting to see what happens.

“Babe, it’s another 10 miles!” Atsumu exclaims, shutting the door.

“Atsumu, just shut up or walk before these cars come.” You state, looking behind you and see the car lights coming from a small distance.

“Why do I have to shut up when this one started it?”

“Huh?! What did I do?”

Ava rolls her eyes, picking at her nail polish as the two of you bicker over nothing. She puts the car in drive and slams on the breaks causing the two of you to fall over.

“What the hell, Ava?” You ask from the middle of the driver and passenger seat. “I could’ve died?” Ava stifles a laugh before putting the car in park. She looks at Atsumu pouting in his seat, rubbing his forehead and refusing to make eye contact with her. Ava lets out a loud laugh, wiping at the corner of her eyes. You giggle to yourself as you lift yourself up, moving towards the right side of the car to take your seat. You notice Ava placing a kiss on Atsumu’s forehead and the fond touches the two share. A small smile appears on your face seeing them interact, their love radiating off of them like the sun on a hot day. It felt so nice to be around them, but the heat in your heart was beginning to sting. Was it jealousy? No. Anger? No. Longing… Maybe.

“Geez, ya nearly gave me a concussion!”

“Serves you right.”

Ava puts the car in drive, cruising along the dimly lighted streets. Atsumu continues to mutter to himself about how his head hurts.

“I felt my brain rattle.”

“Crazy because there’s nothing in there.”

They continue talking as you look out the window, blocking out their conversation with your own thoughts. Why did I come back here? Surely, I could’ve made up some excuse and made it up to them another time. I don’t think I’m ready to see-

“Anyways, Y/N, do ya really hate it here that much?” Atsumu breaks your train of thought.

“S’not that I hate it.” You mutter, head resting on your hand. “It’s just a weird feeling coming back to a place that doesn’t change. Like everything’s frozen in time… it freaks me out.” Scarlett peaks at you through the rearview mirror, once again, observing your facial expression. Always the mysterious one, aren’t ya? She thought.

“If you ask me, I think it’s nice having a place that doesn’t change. Somewhere you know you can be comfortable and find some sort of peace.” You stare at her for a second, before returning your gaze to the window.

“I guess you’re right.”

“Wow, you’re actually agreeing with me for once?”

“I mean I’m not opposed to the idea of it, I just don’t like getting too comfortable…”

“Fair enough.” Ava sighs, glancing over at Atsumu who nods knowingly at her as he puts his window down. Your window begins to roll down causing you to look at Ava in confusion. “Fresh air will do ya good.”

You rest your arms on the car window, slightly leaning your head onto them as you peek out of the window. The cool autumn breeze tickles your face, as you soak in the darkness of the night. It was a new moon, the only light coming from the sky was the twinkling stars and planets. You look up to the sky and catch a glimpse of a shooting star. It’s been a while since I’ve seen one of those. You thought. I wonder if he still does this.

“Nice being able to see the stars, ain’t it?” Atsumu says, half way out of the car window.

“Yeah…” You smile, a giggle leaving your mouth as he sways in the wind dramatically. “One break from Ava and you’ll fly out!”

“Oi, don’t give her any ideas!”

Ava laughs, turning into the corner store you all used to visit everyday. Atsumu sits back into his seat, handing Ava a wad of cash from his wallet.

“Any requests?”

“Starbursts, make sure ya get the one with all the reds!”

“Alright, Y/N?”

“Oh! And one of those fancy lookin’ waters! Ya know, with the cool designs and shit?” Atsumu interrupts. Ava sends him a teasing glare and he smirks. She turns towards you, your attention fixed on the store that seemed to remain the same. The beige building had the same lettering and advertisements as it did when you were in high school. The railings had a fresh coat of paint on them, but still looked scuffed from all the times you and your friends would sit on them. It was just how you left it. How annoying.

“Oi, Y/N! Getcha’ head out of the clouds, Ava’s askin’ ya something”

“Sorry, what’s up?”

“You want anything?”

“I’m okay, thanks.”

“Twizzlers? Got it.”

Ava exits the car and runs into the shop. Atsumu lifts off his seat slightly, digging into his pockets and pulling out a pack of Seven Stars cigarettes. He plucks one out and lights it, puffing the smoke out of the window. The scent envelops her, giving her a sense of both warmth and pain from the memories it holds.

“Thought you quit.”

“I did. This is for nostalgic reasons.” He smiles, inhaling the smoke and releasing it out of the window in a swift movement.

“Right, you and Rin…” You trail off mid sentence. Atsumu looks up at you through the rearview mirror, just as Ava did, and takes another drag.

“Mhm, this was our go to place for a while.” His eyes flicker from you to the inside of the store. He relaxes back into his seat, looking over at Ava with the biggest grin on his face. She’s looking intensely at two bottles of water and making small talk with the cashier. You smile to yourself, pulling your knees to your chest as you remember the times you all used to meet up here and spend hours talking about nothing.

“When was the last time you two spoke?”

“I can’t remember.”

Atsumu nods, knowing the answer. He flicks the bud of the cigarette out of the window, turning slightly to see you staring at the ground. He flicks your forehead softly, earning a yelp from you. He laughs.

“He’s still here, ya know?”

You look up from the ground, but stay silent for a few moments before he speaks up again.

“He never wanted to leave.”

“Sounds like him.” You let go of your legs, opening the car door and stepping out. You stretch a bit before shutting the door behind you. “You think he’ll be at the show?”

“I don’t think he’d miss getting the chance to see you again.”

You let out an annoyed sigh, walking up to the door and exchanging a couple words with Ava before she exits. The cashier greets you just how he did when you were sixteen and the layout of the store is the same as it was 4 years ago. Nothing’s changed here… so why do I feel so out of place?

“What did you do?” Ava sighs, rummaging through the bag of snacks she just bought.

“Huh? I didn’t do anything!” Atsumu exclaims, hands held up in surrender as if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t have.

“Sure, you didn’t. I’m assuming you mentioned Rintarou.”

“Hm? Rintarou? I don’t even know who that is.”

Ava scoffs, throwing the bag of Starbursts at him. He turns to her in shock, dramatically falling into his seat and gripping at the spot the candy hit him. She giggles, taking a bite out of a twizzler and lifting her leg onto her seat.

“What is she getting anyways?” Atsumu mutters, obnoxiously chewing on his candy.

“Lollipops.” Ava shrugs.

_____________________________________________

The smell of cinnamon and the bright lights of the studio overwhelm your senses in the most pleasant way possible. People you’ve never seen before walk past you, admiring the works of art your best friend, Rei, has displayed. Quiet chatter is heard over the music playing from a record player in the corner, occasionally Atsumu’s loud voice is heard saying “Yeah! Rei’s my best friend, she did all of this, ya know? I was her inspiration for most.” You giggle to yourself, hearing a small “Ow” when Ava elbows him in the rib. You observe the people around you, keeping an eye out for a certain brown haired boy. He’s not here. Your thought is interrupted by Rei’s sweet voice and a small shot glass held in front of your face.

“You look like you need this.” Rei giggles. You laugh lightly, grabbing the glass and clinking it with Rei’s before downing it with her.

“Strawberry?”

“Just like old times.” She smiles. You give her an annoyed look, causing her to roll her eyes and sling her arm over your shoulders. “Shut up, you know it’s our tradition.”

They part for a second then hook their arms together as they walk around the studio, Rei pointing out her favorite pieces and explaining them to you as you admire how ecstatic she is. The two of you stop at the last few pieces of her exhibit, the wall filled with pictures she’s taken over the years.

“I’m so proud of you.” You state, leaning your head onto her shoulder.

“Being vulnerable counts for something, doesn’t it?” She smiles, patting your head lightly.

Rei looks over at the entrance of the studio and waves to a couple people. You lift your head up and let go of her arm, as she smiles at you.

“I’ll be back!” She exclaims, running over and greeting them as she takes them on a tour of her art studio.

You debate whether to roam around the studio or stick to this exhibit, when something catches your eye. You stand closer to the photos, noticing how they date back to 2015. A couple photos in the timeline up to the present catch your eye. Ava, Atsumu, Rei, You, and Suna were in nearly every single one of them. You feel tears prick your eyes at how simple those times were, annoyed at the feeling of nostalgia seeping into your mind.

“Well this fucking sucks.” You whisper to yourself.

“I know, I look terrible in that picture.” A familiar voice states. A tall, lanky man stands beside you. His messy brown hair framing his face perfectly, as he gazes at the photos. You glance at him slightly, realizing who it is and avert your gaze back to the photos. “Seriously, who let me wear that?” He asks, looking over towards you and stifling a laugh at your reaction.

You turn your face to the other side, hoping he hasn’t recognized you. How could he? It’s been what? 3 years? I’ve changed my hair since then, there’s no possible way he’ll know it’s me. Suna lets out a laugh, making your heart ache. You turn to where he was standing and he wasn’t there. You furrow your brows and sigh with relief, but a hint of disappointment. You return your attention to the photos, only to be met with Suna’s chest. You hold your breath and remain still, as he bends down to meet your gaze. His golden eyes peering at you with a mischievous grin on his face, one that you remember all too well.

“Long time no see, angel.”