#i wanted to do this with one of the amporas but they dont have a cringe enough name

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

YIFFY: Bro... EEEEVERYONE'S out here doing Vegan-uary.

YIFFY: I'm doing VAGIN-UARY, dude. Dap me up, mom B)

ROSE: ...You mean Virgin-uary.

YIFFY: .........GOOD ONE, MOM.

ROSE: It's funny 'cause it's true.

YIFFY: Well it's PRETTY HARD TO GET LAID with the name "YIFFY", mom >:'(

[daedalusdavinci]

29

29. Favourite fanfiction(s) of your ship(s)?

you may not know this already, but i have a recs tag where i post exactly this in depth! but i LOVE to boost my favorite fics, so ill do it all again, just for you anon <3 if you want more recs for any of these ships, i promise there are TONS in that tag, (or you can send me another ask for something more specific,) but ill stick to just my absolute top reads in this post

my favorite fanfictions of my favorite (homestuck) ships

starting under the cut bc it got long slkdjnfsjdfn

for halquius, the funniest hs ship-

Second Chances by @mtjester

Lil Hal never said anything about what it meant to be the AI avatar of the God of Heart. After he and Equius had split, everyone had assumed he would go back to Dirk and serve as a sort of spirit companion, the hyper-perceptive Shades of the God of Heart. But to that, he had simply responded, “Nah.” He stayed firmly on Equius’s face, and Equius asked him no questions about it.

this fic is so in character. it captures some of my favorite things about this ship, like how obnoxious they are and the very specific ways they click and enable each other. it also has an absolutely fantastic sequel! its short and funny, and always the first rec i drop for this specific ship.

(the second rec i would drop is my own fic, Hold Me (Accountable). its a space au with mechanic!equius and bounty hunter!AR, and i maintain that its hilarious and a must read if you like this ship at all.)

my resident favorite ship, eridave-

Lee Shore by @jumpingjacktrash

“I asked Egbert to ask you if you have Ampora’s new contact information.” “No, man, I didn’t even know the old info was old. How can you not have a contact for him? It’s not like he changed his chumhandle, email, and phone number all at once.” “As a matter of fact, that is apparently exactly what he did. And deleted his Facebook and his photo blog.” “Dramariffic.” In the years after the game, the twelve trolls and eight humans have tried to stick together, because no one else would understand. When Eridan misses one of their yearly reunions, Dave makes an impulsive decision to go find him.

ive said it before, and ill say it again. this is THE eridave fic. this is the one. if you only ever read one (and its not one of mine), it should be this one. i love how dave takes eridan seriously without enabling him, and how easily they both cut through each others bullshit. the handling of eridans character is DELICIOUS, and i literally think about his relationships with the other trolls in this fic all the time. i dont even know how many times ive read this fic but it goes so hard.

davekat, the classic-

Fait Accompli(cation) by @dragonomatopoeia on tumblr

In Which a Mutant and an Alien Meander Towards a Quadrant of Indeterminate Identity at a Glacial Pace While Examining the Internalized Toxicity Perpetuated by Their Respective Societies, and The Nature of Friendship is Determined to Be More Universal Than Originally Theorized [Banned In Alternia]

this is the quintessential meteor fic. its everything you could ever want in a meteorfic, and deals very heavily with karkat and dave unpacking toxic cultural ideas from their respective planets and coming to a new understanding of who they want to be together. its long, its slowburn, its everything, and the authors put SO much obvious effort and research into getting the voices just right, i still think about and admire it years and years later.

The Eurydice Suite, v2.0 by @callmearcturus

Dream-sharing: a highly illegal little industry in which agents delve into people’s dreams, and unearth their deepest secrets and memories. Within this business, the Strider-Lalondes are known as the best there is — until Dirk Strider gets his fool-ass trapped within the confines of his own subconscious, with his Auto-Responder playing malicious prison warden. To save him, the best and brightest dreamers in the world will have to form a team. Backed by the token rich friend, lead by the surliest extractor ever bribed out of retirement, haunted by the shade of the latest, greatest agent in the biz, and on the run through a dangerous tiered dream in a hostile mind… It’s going to take a miracle to pull this one off.

arc doesnt need any publicity from me, bigname that they are, but i gotta say of all of their fics this one is one i still come back to and reread from time to time all these years later. the au is really cool, and the drama is potent. karkat and dave have a very loaded and complicated, vaguely antagonistic relationship that takes time to get resolved, and you dont see that very often in davekat fics!

davekat, the superior-

Crash Standing by @asukaskerian

It’s been eight days since the end of Sburb and Davesprite is not coping especially well.

IVE SAID IT BEFORE ILL SAY IT AGAIN. BEST. HOMESTUCK FIC. dont look at how many times ive read this dont worry about it. davespritekat is just better than davekat, okay? im sorry. everything is better w davesprite. if youre a davesprite fan i dont even have to say anything else you already know youve gotta read this, but for people who arent- dude, this fic. its such a poignant snapshot of the awkwardness of teenagerdom, especially as a very traumatized teen, and the interpersonal relationships between characters outside of the main two are just so delightful. the john&dave&davesprite dynamic is one i think about constantly, and me and my friend STILL have running jokes about davesprite co< kanaya, which is perhaps the greatest thing to ever be invented, and we have fully incorporated the phrase "sparkle princess alone time" into our day to day vocabulary. i LOVE the gossip chumps, they are everything to me. underrated friendship.

another classic age ship, johndave-

play ball! by spacepuck

When Dave moves to Washington, he expects to spend the summer alone in his room until school starts. But when he stumbles on the sandlot, he discovers a baseball team needing one more player. He quickly gets dragged into the mix, but there's just one problem: he knows absolute dicksquat about the game. Luckily, John, the high school's best baseball player, swoops in to help. (this is basically a sandlot/baseball au. happy summer!)

ive actually been meaning to reread this one, since its been a long time. im adding it to my marked for later rn. i think of all the johndave fics i ever read, this is the one i think about the most years later. ive never read a fic that just. FELT like summer the way this one does. its intimate and sweet and its got the exact feeling of a hot summer night, lying in the grass and staring up at the stars with your best friend. when i read a johndave fic, i want some real fuckin falling in love with your friend as a stupid kid shit, and this is that

dirkjohn-

Vanitas Vanitatum by @oxfordroulette

You've determined the hobbies of the monarch you serve are as follows: 1. Ill-timed pranks. 2. Cooking. 3. Subconsciously pulling elaborate political schemes off perfectly, ad infinitum, every one of which inches his mind closer to some ineffable dark chasm you're curious to find the depth of. Anyway, he makes damn good lasagna.

when i tell you this is the best dirkjohn fic i mean nothing else has ever even COMPARED, and that includes my own goddamn fic. fuck ammfh, read THIS. its political intrigue and messy, MESSY relationships, and a john who is an absolute delightful trickster with serious fucking PROBLEMS. the john/vriska/dirk friendship in this is everything, and the design of the strilondes is so fucking cool??? im ngl i think about those blindfolds everyyy time i make an au. its magic, its kingdomstuck, its dnd, its got illustrations, its EVERYTHING. oxfordRoulette is like a fucking professional at writing fics where everyone kind of sucks and is super toxic and a little bit evil and its THE BEST. LOVE this fic

for bropsii-

just read anything by captorvatiing. just go do that. or read the entirety of the @askpsii blog again?? for the ten millionth time? and cry about how theres like no content.

all of my other favorite ships are too niche to have fics </3 lol. read MY fics, thats what you should do. just go read the fics for the tags that i personally started sldkjfnsdlfsdf

ALSO YOU SHOULD READ LET'S BE OUTCASTS BY @curlicuecal. this is the only time ill ever recommend anything thats incomplete but GOD ITS SO GOOD. i wont say anything else. just that its SO. GOOD. and if you like hal or the exiles you will LOVE this

[ask-the-greaser-fish]

hey there, im cronus ampora- the coolest HUMAN person to evwer exist, im sure your just DYING to get to knowv me, and how could i blame ya? Meulin says that you all vwill see me as a "pervwerted freak" but she just dosent understand me- im not THAT bad! plus im sure shes just jealous, she knows ill get ALL the followvers and fame. I hope i can find someone who vwants to get to knovw me better... someone vwho understands me, yknowv? btwv if you have gold blood and are really annoying and are not interested in a kismestitude despite ALL of my hate-flirting please leavwe because i dont vwant to get beat up by latula again...

(OOC- At the moment there is only one mod and i sign off with "-💜". Mod is a minor, and if you send an NSFW/Suggestive ask i will most definitely give you a silly/non serious response- ***JUST BECAUSE IM ROLEPLAYING CRONUS DOSENT MEAN I WANT TO HAVE SEX*** so please be respectful! there may be some days i will not be online/able to post, this is due to circumstances IRL and unfortunately i cant do anything about it. Have a great day/night)

[trenchgardens-ooc-ooc-ooc-ooc]

For the send you a character thing ! I would love to hear about your list with Eridan Ampora !

Gheheh. guys its possible my eridan thing has breached containment just a tad. Nyalright, here you go.

favorite thing about them Prrrrobably the aesthetics he goes after. The wounded kid in me who liked harry potter for its fantasy of magic escapism only to grow up and... be a trans writer heals a little bit every time i draw him I think. Either that or the way his class and aspect are described and depicted. Also the laser harpoon. He's just neat. As a character, though, my most savored trait is his... unique blend of fascist pipeline kid, betrayed energy, and yeah. That whole cocktail. The part of me that was bullied in middle-school by being called 'the next school shooter' empathizes with him.

least favorite thing about them As a person? like if I knew him? Probably the genocide complex. As a character its still a bad trait but yk. character. Its important to explore that shit so someone can't mystify it. As a character my least favorite trait might be... His ship with Sollux. I agree its a funny fucking ship, but i. And i havent read that part of homestuck in a while so i might be wrong, but like... I am almost certain Sollux explicitly platonically hates this guy. Not the fun kind of hate, the like... Soda machine gave you unflavored sparkling water kind of hate.

favorite line I gotta be real i have no idea.

brOTP I don't know what this means... uh. Exclusively masculine ship? I dont really ship Eridan...

OTP Probably Roxy in pale. I think her whimsical wizard enjoyment and pink aesthetic would work as a beachhead for sorting out his fuckin issues. I feel like it would be platonic though.

nOTP I guess it would be erisol?

random headcanon I think he was terrified of his 'duty' as a violetblood, especially as a diet orphaner, orphaner in training whatever he was. I don't think he wanted to kill. I think his lusus skyhorsedad told him he needs to be a proper seadweller and then that became an outlet for every unventable dread he had, only getting more malignant with each snubbing.

unpopular opinion give this one a spin, i dont really like the march thing. I have mixxed feelings about it... I do think Eridan could totally be transfeminine, but it also feels like the point is to laugh at him. i.e. it feels transphobic.

song i associate with them Dont mess with me by temposhark probably, my friend said this has Fandom Connotations, but shrugs, i feel like it fits.

favorite picture of them The one from immediately before he kills feferi

iunno, its a cool style.

[lute-the-faller]

pelliper mail!

a bag of edibles

only one has weed in it

the others have magic that do smth weird

smth different per edible

one might make you turn into lord english, one might make you start melting, one might make you green, one might turn you into a seadweller, one might have you mitose, one may turn you into mspar, the possibillities are endless

i dont think we should eat these

i do want an eridan tho. nightmare polycule (2 striders and 1 ampora + me)

not cronus. FUCK HIM KILLS HIM WITH MIND ONE GOPTILLION TIMES

[the-cal-zone]

YES. MASS PRODUCE THEM AMPORAS

minimum wage employee: uh... hey boss..... this ones got a defect

owner of the eridan mass production company: OKAY WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?!

employee: i uh.... we cant sell this yknow... what do we do with it..?

boss: I DONT KNOW, SELL IT ON EBAY FOR A MILLION BUCKS AND SAY ITS A RARE ONE OF A KIND VERSION?? DUMP IT IN THE OCEAN??

employee: but- sir, if we dump it in the ocean, hell just live there. he is a fish after all. he may start a life and have fucked up defected fish children... thats no good

boss: I DONT GIVE A SHIT JUST PUT HIM ON THE SHELVES WITH THE REST OF THE ERIDANS, NOBODY WILL NOTICE

[gauchestardust]

hey

kyo

i just wwanted to let you knoww that i lovve you

youre the best glubbin matesprite a guy could ask for

i knoww wwe may havve offs and ons or wwhatevver but i just wwant you to knoww that anythin i do is out of lovve

and i dont mean anythin harsh ivve done

youre like

the best thin thats evver happened to me

and thats probably an understatement

i really appreciate that im one of your lovvers and i hope wwe can stay that wway forevver and evver

wwill you wwatch the shrek movvies wwith me later

thatd be nice

sorry if im botherin you i just wwanted to send you this lovve message

i knoww

all mushy and shit its gross aint it

but such is a red quadrant

lovve you,

ampora

(sent by an anonymous Eridan Ampora IRL wwho saww you selfship wwith, much lovve)

(oh. my. god. THAT'S SO CUTE 😭😭😭)

oh my... that's so sweet of yourr parrt. i'm honestly so glad you arre happy to be my matesprrite, happy of how you genuinely love me...~

i underrstand perrfectly that what you do is forr me. maybe even forr us. that's not needed, you didn't have to go this farr orr not... just to me. yet you did, and i apprreciate this. ♡

you'rre rreally the best thing that everr happened to me too in my small lifetime, i rreally know we'rre not the best sometimes, but i still feel blessed that you arre with me, like i'm surrprrised you haven't left me yet...

also we can watch the shrrek movie laterr though. if that means being able to spend time with you...

you know, i'd love to, rright now even. i want to rrest on you... kiss you... fill you with my affection...

i'm verry sorrrry i have no idea what to say, you rreally left me with no worrds... i feel so shy... but thank you so much. i'm so happy to be your loverr... you arre also the best matesprrite a girrl could ask forr.

(ahhh, i really didn't know what to write but thank you so much!! :D)

[pesterloglog]

Terezi Pyrope, John Egbert, Gamzee Makara, Eridan Ampora, Feferi Peixes, Roxy Lalonde, Calliope

Candy, page 22

TEREZI: H3Y JOHN

TEREZI: T1M3 FOR YOUR R3GUL4R CH3CKUP H3H3H3

JOHN: oh. hey.

TEREZI: “OH H3Y”

TEREZI: PR3TTY T3P1D R3C3PT1ON FROM 4 GUY WHO H4S 1N TH3 P4ST B3GG3D D3SP3R4T3LY FOR 3V3N 4 SCR4P OF MY 4TT3NT1ON

JOHN: i’m glad to hear from you. it’s just... i dunno, a lot’s happened recently.

JOHN: i’m sort of numb from all of it.

TEREZI: SO T3LL M3 4BOUT 1T

JOHN: what are you my therapist now?

TEREZI: NO 1M JUST 4 S1MPL3 G1RL WHO LOV3S TH3 T4ST3 OF YOUR SUFF3R1NG

TEREZI: 1M SO HUNGRY OUT H3R3 4LON3 1N P4R4DOX SP4C3 JOHN

TEREZI: PL34S3 NOUR1SH M3 W1TH YOUR P4TH3T1C M1DL1FE 3NNU1

JOHN: it’s not midlife ennui!

JOHN: i’m not even thirty yet, come on.

JOHN: also... um.

JOHN: i’m married? so... yeah.

TEREZI: LOL

TEREZI: WH4T DO3S TH4T H4V3 TO DO W1TH 4NYTH1NG

JOHN: err...

JOHN: nevermind.

JOHN: so what’s up with you?

TEREZI: OH S4M3 OLD S4M3 OLD

TEREZI: WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG R1GHT NOW

JOHN: oh. i’m at harry anderson’s birthday party.

TEREZI: SOUNDS 1MPORT4NT

TEREZI: M4YB3 1 SHOULD L3T YOU GO TH3N

JOHN: no!

JOHN: i mean... it’s fine. i can talk for a bit.

TEREZI: 4ND L34V3 H4RRY 4ND3RSON H4NG1NG?

TEREZI: WOW 3GB3RT

TEREZI: YOUD TH1NK 4N 3LD3RLY M4N L1K3 YOU WOULD KNOW MOR3 4BOUT D3CORUM TH4N M3, 4 ROWDY YOUTH!

JOHN: harry anderson is basically just a baby who doesn’t understand anything.

JOHN: a baby, kind of like YOU.

TEREZI: >:]

TEREZI: SO WHOS H4RRY 4ND3RSON?

JOHN: oh! that’s me and roxy’s son.

TEREZI: OH COOL H3 GOT BORN

JOHN: yeah terezi. he got born like three years ago.

TEREZI: 1TS B33N TH4T LONG?

TEREZI: WOW

JOHN: yeah, wow is right. where the hell have you been?

TEREZI: LOST

JOHN: lost... how?

JOHN: like literally, physically lost?

JOHN: or metaphorically lost.

TEREZI: BOTH 1 GU3SS

JOHN: terezi...

TEREZI: OH NO

TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3 US3 P1TY1NG 3LL1PS3S 4T M3 JOHN 3GB3RT

JOHN: sorry! it’s kinda hard not to when every time you go i have no idea if i’ll ever talk to you again.

TEREZI: OK YOUR3 OBV1OUSLY NOT 1N 4 PL4C3 TO T4LK R1GHT NOW

TEREZI: 1 D1DNT CONT4CT YOU B3C4US3 1 W4NT3D TO D34L W1TH YOUR W33PY S3P4R4T1ON ANX13TY

TEREZI: HOW 4BOUT 1 M4K3 TH1S 34SY FOR YOU 4ND JUST LOG OFF

JOHN: no, please don’t go!

JOHN: i’m sorry for being all... human and weepy.

JOHN: i’m actually in a pretty ok place for once, i think?

TEREZI: C4LM DOWN 1 W4SNT F1N1SH3D

TEREZI: L1ST3N... 1LL T3XT YOU B4CK 1N F1V3 M1NUT3S

TEREZI: TH4TLL G1V3 YOU SOM3 T1M3 TO 3MOT1ON4LLY PROC3SS THE H4RROW1NG 3XP3R13NC3 OF 4CTU4LLY H34R1NG FROM M3 4G41N >:]

JOHN: promise me it’ll only be five minutes?

TEREZI: WHY?

JOHN: because i worry about you!

JOHN: i just don’t want you to leave me hanging for another year, making me wonder if you’re dead.

JOHN: please??

TEREZI: UGH!

TEREZI: F1N3

TEREZI: 1 H3R3BY SOL3MNLY SW34R UPON TH3 BOOK OF DUMB N33DY LOS3RS TH4T 1 W1LL T3XT YOU 1N *3X4CTLY* F1V3 M1NUT3S

JOHN: whew. THANK you!

TEREZI: OK 1TS F1V3 M1NUT3S L4T3R

TEREZI: DONT T3LL M3 4NOTH3R TWO SW33PS H4V3 P4SS3D

JOHN: nah, just a couple of weeks.

JOHN: oh boy, what a couple of weeks though.

JOHN: you would NOT believe what’s happening right now.

TEREZI: H4V3 1 3V3R NOT B3L13V3D WH4T W4S H4PP3N1NG WH3N YOU S41D 1 WOULDNT?

JOHN: no, but to be fair this one is especially wild.

JOHN: here wait, let me take a picture.

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYROPE the photo “ghostrain.jpg” --

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FUCK

JOHN: it started a few days ago. the sky above the capital of the troll kingdom just cracked open and ghosts began raining down everywhere.

JOHN: actually, now that i think about it, i guess it started three years ago when a dead teen version of jade fell from the sky and crashed into the ground during a picnic.

TEREZI: HUH

JOHN: that only affected our group though. this whole thing with the troll ghosts has been a *huge* international incident.

JOHN: the political situation surrounding trolls was already tense enough without adding a gigantic population of immigrant ghost trolls to the mix.

TEREZI: W41T, WH4T H4PP3N3D?

JOHN: um, well... because of what we know about alternian history...

JOHN: the government decided it was probably a bad idea to let trolls reproduce freely, especially considering how different our planet is from alternia.

TEREZI: 1 SUPPOS3 TH4T M4K3S S3NS3

TEREZI: W1THOUT ST4T3 S4NCT1ON3D CULL1NG, TH3 TROLL POPUL4T1ON WOULD QU1CKLY DOM1N4T3 TH3 PL4N3T

TEREZI: 4ND 34RTH C DO3SNT STR1K3 ME 4S TH3 SORT OF PL4C3 TH4T WOULD T4K3 K1NDLY TO 4 LOT OF CULL1NG

JOHN: yeah. that was part of the government’s official argument.

JOHN: “it’s either this, or culling.”

JOHN: but it didn’t stop there.

JOHN: also a bunch of laws have been passed that restrict the kind of jobs that trolls can have. like, they’re not allowed to serve in the government or rise past a certain rank in the military. they can’t even be judges!

TEREZI: G4SP

JOHN: i know. it’s pretty bad here.

TEREZI: CONS1D3R1NG TH3 GO4L 1S TO L1M1T TH3 SPR34D 4ND 1NFLU3NC3 OF TROLLS, TH1S 4LL S33MS L1K3...

TEREZI: QU1T3 4N 4LT3RN14N SOLUT1ON

JOHN: well... jane is sort of a key political player now.

JOHN: she’s not “in” the government, exactly. but she has so much money she may as well BE the government.

JOHN: her company can do basically whatever it wants. and it seems more and more like what it wants is to make sure the politicians are saying exactly what it wants them to say.

TEREZI: H4

TEREZI: 1 4LW4YS SUSP3CT3D SH3D B33N SW4Y3D BY TH3 COND3SC3 MOR3 TH4N SH3 3V3R L3T ON

JOHN: yeah. i guess she was.

JOHN: although... i dunno, for some reason it doesn’t feel right to me.

JOHN: i KNEW a grown-up version of jane. she was my nanna.

JOHN: i never met her until she came back as a sprite. but she just seemed like a kindly old grandma who liked to play pranks.

JOHN: not a...

TEREZI: G3NOC1D3 F4N?

JOHN: not even close!

JOHN: i just can’t believe how fast everything deteriorated.

TEREZI: DONT T3LL M3 3V3YON3S JUST T4K1NG TH1S LY1NG DOWN

JOHN: of course not! kanaya and rose are both heavily involved in grassroots activism right now.

JOHN: and karkat...

JOHN: he’s gone completely off the grid!

JOHN: at first we all assumed that the reason he ran away was because he got fed up with his shitty poly relationship.

JOHN: which was probably part of it, honestly. but now i keep seeing his face on all the resistance posters!

JOHN: i think they may have actually put him in charge?

TEREZI: H3H

TEREZI: 1 4LW4YS KN3W H3 H4D 1T 1N H1M

JOHN: yeah!

JOHN: dave’s heartbroken though...

TEREZI: WHY DO3SNT D4V3 JUST GO 4ND JO1N H1M TH3N

JOHN: i don’t know.

JOHN: he worries about jade i guess?

TEREZI: J4D3 WOULD B3 F1N3

TEREZI: SH3S TH3 MOST R3S1L13NT OUT OF 4LL OF YOU

JOHN: sigh. you know how dave is.

TEREZI: Y34H

TEREZI: LOY4L TO 4 F4ULT

JOHN: yeah. he...

JOHN: oh my god.

JOHN: holy shit, hang on. i gotta take another picture.

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYROPE the photo “PBandJ.jpg” --

TEREZI: ...

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S TH1S?!

JOHN: heheheheh.

TEREZI: DONT TYP3 YOUR L4UGHS 4T M3 4FT3R TR1CK1NG M3 1NTO LOOK1NG 4T TH1S 4BOMIN41TON

JOHN: i thought you might find it interesting. :-)

TEREZI: WHY WOULD 1 *3V3R* W4NT TO S33 G4MZ33 M4K1NG OUT W1TH T4VROS 4G41N???

JOHN: again?

TEREZI: UGH D1SGUST1NG

TEREZI: 1N PUBL1C 4ND 3V3RYTH1NG

JOHN: oh, it’s always in public.

JOHN: this is how gamzee helps people have their “redemption arcs.”

TEREZI: BY M4K1NG OUT W1TH TH3M???

JOHN: well, not always. sometimes he has them make out with each other. usually he just feeds them milk out of that stupid baby bottle he keeps with him all the time.

JOHN: i think it’s supposed to be like, some completely idiotic form of baptism he made up.

TEREZI: >:?

JOHN: anyway, speaking of tavros.

JOHN: what do you think about the morality of kidnapping someone if they’re really unhappy and possibly also being abused?

TEREZI: UH

TEREZI: WH4T

JOHN: ok, so like, if you kidnap someone and the situation you’re kidnapping them into is way better than the one you kidnapped them out of, that’s not morally wrong, right?

TEREZI: JOHN

TEREZI: 4R3 YOU TRY1NG TO G3T M3 4LL 4FLUST3R3D W1TH SUCH H1GHLY ILL3G4L SW33T T4LK

JOHN: um, no.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: ARE you flustered?

TEREZI: 1 M1GHT B3, 1F 1 THOUGHT YOU WOULD 4CTU4LLY BR34K TH3 L4W

JOHN: hey, i could totally do it!

TEREZI: 1LL B3L1EV3 1T WH3N 1 SM3LL 1T

JOHN: ok, i guess i’m gonna do it then!

TEREZI: SUR3

JOHN: i’m totally going to do it! next time we talk, it’ll be me telling you all about my successful and highly illegal kidnapping venture.

TEREZI: WH4T3V3R YOU S4Y

TEREZI: 4NYW4Y, N1C3 HUDDL3 3GB3RT, BUT 1 H4V3 TO GO

JOHN: wait!

TEREZI: WH4T

JOHN: you’re going already?

JOHN: you barely said anything!

JOHN: you just listened to me ramble on about earth c’s problems.

TEREZI: 1SNT TH4T HOW TH3S3 CONV3RS4T1ONS USU4LLY GO

JOHN: um.

JOHN: yeah, i guess it is.

JOHN: but it doesn’t have to be like that, you know.

TEREZI: HMM

JOHN: so.

JOHN: what’s going on with you?

TEREZI: D1D 1T OCCUR TO YOU TH4T M4YB3 TH3 R34SON 1 C4LL YOU 1S B3C4US3 1 W4NT 4 BR13F R3PR13V3 FROM “WH4TS GO1NG ON W1TH M3”?

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: yeah, that makes sense.

JOHN: i just don’t want you to feel that you’re like, my psychiatrist or whatever.

TEREZI: AWW TH4TS CUT3

TEREZI: DONT WORRY 4BOUT M3 JOHN

TEREZI: 1F YOU W3R3 BUGG1NG M3 1D JUST STOP T3XT1NG

JOHN: well...

JOHN: cool. if i’m not bugging you, then... can i ask a favor?

TEREZI: 1TS C3RT41NLY W1TH1N YOUR POW3R TO 4SK M3 4 F4VOR

TEREZI: 1 C4NT PROM1S3 TO FULF1LL 1T

JOHN: ugh, now i feel even dumber for what i’m about to ask.

JOHN: i don’t know if i even wanna do it now.

TEREZI: 4RGH! OUT W1TH 1T 3GB3RT!

JOHN: ummm...

TEREZI: F1N3! 1LL DO 1T, WH4T3V3R 1T 1S

TEREZI: JUST SO YOU C34S3 TH1S M4DD3N1NG N3RDBOY 1NS3CUR1TY

JOHN: ok, ok!

JOHN: uh...

JOHN: can you...

JOHN: take a selfie?

TEREZI: WH4T

JOHN: and... send it to me?

JOHN: oh my god, i probably sound so creepy right now.

TEREZI: 4H4H4H4H4H4H4

JOHN: hey, don’t laugh!

JOHN: look, it’s just that... after all the talking we’ve done over the years...

JOHN: you’re pretty important to me, terezi. and with everything getting so weird, i’ve been getting scared lately.

JOHN: so in case things go to shit over here, or things go to shit wherever you are...

JOHN: i just want to make sure i have something to remember you by.

TEREZI: OH

JOHN: so will you do it?

GAMZEE: NoW We wElCoMe iNtO ThE DoPe aRmS Of mOtHeR ReDeMpTiOn tHiS lOwLy PeNiTeNt WhO’s AlL kInDs Of SoRrY aBoUt HiS pAsT dEeDs.

ERIDAN: oh yeah im vvery redeemed

FEFERI: )(mm are you s)(ore?

ERIDAN: fef you dont believve me

ERIDAN: wwhat do i havve to fuckin do crawwl on the fuckin ground at your feet

ERIDAN: snortin and snufflin at your shoes like a mushroom sniffin porkfiend

ERIDAN: sizin up those covvetous swweaty delicacies stuffed wwithin

ERIDAN: like a couple of premium shrimp loavves garnished wwith ten exquisite pygmy soiree wwieners

ERIDAN: im a wworm fef

ERIDAN: im the lowwest of the wworst

FEFERI: Okaaay. If t)(at’s really )(ow you feel, i guess i can... accept your apology.

GAMZEE: NiIiIiIiCe.

GAMZEE: NoW tHiS iS wHaT i’M tAlKiNg AbOuT. AlL tHiS fOrGiVnEsS aNd ShIt Up In ThE mOtHeRfUcKiNg HoUsE.

GAMZEE: aFtEr AlL, wHaT’s A lItTlE

GAMZEE: MURDER

GAMZEE: BeTwEeN mOiRaIlS?

FEFERI: I guess t)(at’s true! It )(appens to t)(e best of us. 38)

GAMZEE: YoU bOtH aRe So ClOsE tO tHe ReDeMpTiOn NoW.

GAMZEE: fIrSt, A LiTtLe RiGhTeOuS sPlAsH oF tHe NaNnA nEcTaR tO cLeAnSe ThAt DaNkNeSs FrOm YoUr SoUlS...

GAMZEE: NoW...

GAMZEE: kIsS, mY mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

FEFERI: Ummmm...

ERIDAN: FINALLY

ERIDAN: pucker up fef and plant one on me

FEFERI: 38\

ERIDAN: you gotta its the rules

GAMZEE: tHe MoThErFuCkEr’S rIgHt.

GAMZEE: It AlL bE fUcKiN cRiTiCaL tO bOtH yOuR rEdEmPtIoN, tO kIsS aNd MaKe Up :o)

FEFERI: Sig)(. If it’s for redemption, t)(en...

FEFERI: Very well.

ERIDAN: oh fuck yeah

ERIDAN: RUB A DUB DUB COME GIMME A GLUB!!!

-- TEREZI PYROPE sent JOHN EGBERT the photo “H3R3.JPG” --

ROXY: yo john

ROXY: over here hon!

CALLIOPE: it’s getting less and less UnUsUal to see those in the troll kingdom, isn’t it?

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: i can’t help but think the government’s getting ready for something big.

ROXY: lmao you worry too much

ROXY: janeys got her head on straight shell show you yet

JOHN: ugh, let’s not talk about this right now.

ROXY: yea ur right

ROXY: its gettin late anyway we should head home

ROXY: see you next week callie?

CALLIOPE: oh. yes. always, roxy.

[fierycatfish]

<3

[paradoxkinspace]

i kinda wanna try to get a kin assignment because that sounds fun. im an INTP and autistic. gender is fake. being kin assigned eridan ampora was how i got into homestuck (im not joking). my daddy issues are a given. i have very unpredictable mood swings that can flip-flop whenever where i could be talkative fidgety SUPER energetic and clingy at one moment and spiteful agitated tired and cold at the next but my 3 only friends seem to think im really sweet despite that even if i think im kinda annoying. i love talking though especially about my interests and headcanons. i love reading (but only fanfiction) writing drawing photography and music as well as history nature snow/rain clowns/jesters and bees (i fucking love bees). i love space and the ocean too. i dont have any irl friends and i am chronically online because people scare me. im a pessimist that somehow tries to give everyone i like the benefit of the doubt and has to be talked out of giving my everything to some else even if they dont do barely as much for me because i am blinded by even the littlest of kindness given to me. i take everything way too personally but will never let it show or talk about it because i dont want people to think im a jerk. sleeping and showering are really fucking difficult to do for some reason. i call everyone bro or man or dude. emotions are for pussys we bottle that shit or we die. and everyone i know calls me funny so thats gotta be worth something. satire and irony are great. but the worst thing about me by far is that im sadly a gamer </3

all of this is suuuper biased btw i Do Not like myself lmao

i'd kin assign you:

Dirk Strider

Mituna Captor

Jade Harley

Calliope

Rose Lalonde

Kankri Vantas

Guidestuck Bec Harley

Azdaja Knelax

Daraya Jonjet

💫

[stuff4stucks]

I am a fem presenting nonbinary (After I realised that I started using she/they) Eridan Ampora doing a canon call hopefully my memories are enough to meet someone from my canon so I was close to Karkat and despite how loud he was he was always real patient with me and we  would watch  rom-coms because he liked them but I messed up I dont know exactly what i did but it was bad because he stopped talking to me

Nepeta and I used to online and she would tell me who she thought would get together she even showed me her shipping chart and I enjoy listening to her talk about it then she even let me do some a couple of times though they were never any good as none happened so important not as good at relationships as she is though I bet that’s obvious 

Kankri Vantas when I first saw him I thought he was Karkat yet soon i realised he wasnt first obviously his style of he would rant like Karkat yet his voice was calming and he would listen to me about my problems and insecurities and after time he would let me touch him without asking first in some places (hand, arm, shoulder, knee, etc) some though we were morialls yet I did respect him not wanting relationships in that way and I understood I was no good at reltion anyway no matter how hard I tried I remember him actually letting me play with his hair once which I never  thought possible because of how uncomfortable touch usually made him yet his hair was incredibly soft though usually he’d be the one to play with my hair which would lead to me making happy humming noises

Lastly we have  Roxy Lalonde they wwere genderfluid and their hair was short and curly and dyed pink then they helped me realise I was nonbinary as there was no such term I had known that fit yet Roxy knew one I remember them teaching me how to properly apply makeup and had me play around with hair dye before I realised I preferred my natural hair colour I remember going perfume shopping with them and I picked out a natural beachy scent even if it was probably near how I already smelled since I live in the sea yet the sent was calming to me and I wanted to give that off I also remember that Roxy would listen to me talk about my insurites and problems then try to help and despite they’re optimistic demor they had quite a few insecurities as well that I’d listen to

I am a minor I am open to interaction from adults as long as they aren’t creepy if anything resonates with anyone or you just want to talk you can contact me on Discord at [cA]continuousAscendant#0709 I am always happy to talk! Also if you are okay with it when talking I may use my typing quirk <3

[pumpkinofthedale]

How do you think a convo where Cronus and Duelscar meet would go? (Include the other ampora if u want)

Sorry it took me so long to answer this lmao it’s been a heck of a time in the life of bananders [me]

I think overall it would not be a pleasant conversation to be around... like when you see people fighting in public and it’s just overall incredibly uncomfortable to watch.

I dont think dualscar would really have any intention of trying to find cronus and speak with him, but I can definitely imagine cronus basically hunting him down to see what makes him so great. Cronus acts like he’s dualscar and that he’s a really cool dude too, but knowing how he could have turned out if the situation were different eats at him.

Because dualscar was good at what he did. He was the Orphaner. People not only knew who he was, but they also respected him. Which isn’t something that Cronus has ever really experienced. So while Cronus acts like he’s cool with it, he’s incredibly resentful of his way more successful counterpart.

Dualscar likewise doesn’t think much of his counterpart. Soft, needy, pathetic, he’d had the world handed to him on a silver spoon and he still didn’t manage to make anything of himself other than a joke.

Cronus would probably spend the first few sentences of the conversation trying to flirt with Dualscar in some sort of bizarre, uncomfortable form of narcissism mixed with self-loathing. 

But I see Dualscar as an incredibly lonely person too, so even though he’d threaten (and even at times get physically violent with) Cronus I could see them as eventually commiserating on what a shit lot they were dealt. Probably talk shit about Makaras. Definitely not pleasant, but I bet they’d probably be the best people to deal with one another.

*edit* i do want to make it clear that this is not intended as amporacest. Just because Cronus canonically flirts with anything that moves does not mean that he is ever successful. This was intended as platonic hate friends

[spidersfanfics]

Let’s Make the Most of the Night

Eridan x Karkat | Valentine’s Day | Angst

Happy Valentine's Day! I'm a monster so I wrote some angst :D Eridan goes on a date with Karkat for their anniversary. That's all :)

"Happy anniversary, Kar." Eridan said softly, handing over a bouquet of red roses. "I got you some flowers. And before you ask, no it's not a jab at your blood color. They're red for flushed feelings," he chuckled.

The sun shined down brightly as birds overhead chirped cheerfully. Eridan's stomach growled and he laughed sheepishly, "Let's eat why don't we?" He reached over and grabbed the picnic basket that had been prepared for the occasion.

Eager to get started, Eridan dug into the basket, pulling out sandwiches, salad and a bottle of wine. "Yes, wine," Eridan said with a playful smile, "I know sandwiches aren't exactly gourmet but it's a special occasion. Alright? We go over this every year."

A pause.

"And every year I win, don't I Kar." Eridan laughed as he poured out the wine. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

As he dug into his food and sipped on his drink, he began to fall deep into thought. A look of reminiscing painted across his face as he relaxed.

"Do you remember our first date?" He asked, breaking the silence that had briefly fallen. He smirked and shook his head, "No come on, let me tell it. I know I do this every time but that's only because it's cute every time."

He set down his wine glass and leaned back. His eyes grew distant as he cast his mind back. "Alright, let's see."

~ ~ ~

It was nearing the end of winter. No, not quite spring yet. That first date didn't count for the anniversary day, they'd agreed on that ages ago.

Eridan was handling the cold just fine as a seadweller, but Karkat's mutant blooded self always found the season miserable.

"GOG IM FREEZING MY FUCKING GLOBES OFF OUT HERE", Karkat texted Eridan. He'd just gotten off of work that day and was waiting for the bus to take him home.

Eridan texted back a moment later, "Wwe could go get some coffee together if you'd like. Might help to wwarm you up."

Karkat hesitated only a second before agreeing, "FUCK IT, WHY NOT. YOU KNOW WHERE I AM."

"Great, I'll pick you up in a minute. Don't freeze to death wwaiting for me."

"HA HA VERY FUNNY. JUST HURRY UP."

True to his word, Eridan was there not long after and the two of them drove over to a nearby coffee shop. They ordered their drinks and were just about to pay when Eridan stopped Karkat.

"Wait, let me pay for the both of us."

Karkat raised an eyebrow at him but let it slide and the pair brought their drinks to an empty table, tucked away in a quiet corner. Karkat took a slow sip of the drink and winced at the sudden temperature change.

After a long moment, he spoke up. "So, tell me Ampora. Is this a date?"

Eridan nearly choked on his drink. His face flushed a violent violet and he spluttered, "I mean. I was kind of hoping, that is I was going to ask at the end if. Well, do you want it to be one?"

Karkat stared forward evenly for a long while before rolling his eyes, "Yeah whatever. Why ruin a good thing right? This is our first date."

"Ah," Eridan said weakly, still coughing slightly. "Lovely," He gave Karkat a wary smile. When Karkat returned it without a trace of mockery, his fins fluttered excitedly and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

Soon, they had both finished their drinks, as well as the slices of cake Eridan had insisted on buying for the two of them. "Well, I'd better head home for real now." Karkat said, gathering up their trash and sweeping it into a nearby garbage can.

"Yeah, do you need me to drive you?"

He shook his head and glanced at his watch, "There's a bus coming soon. I'll be fine." He paused then pulled Eridan into a hug, "Thanks for the food and drinks, Ampora. This was fun. Maybe we should do this again sometime."

When he pulled away, Eridan was blushing once more. "Yeah, we should," he agreed with a chuckle. He pulled his car keys out of his pocket and twirled them around his finger, "I'll see you around. Text me when you get home?"

"Sure," Karkat laughed and the two parted ways.

~ ~ ~

Eridan finished his reminiscing and his sandwiches at around the same time and he smiled lovingly. "The first of many lovely dates to come," he said.

He reached back towards the picnic basket and opened it up again. After some quick rummaging, he pulled out a couple of cupcakes. "They didn't have cake slices when I went this time but these are from that same coffee shop." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Is that too cheesy? I thought it would be a nice surprise."

He unwrapped one and took a bite before thinking once more of another story to tell. "Oh, well of course if we're going to talk about our past, we should talk about the day you asked me out." He laughed, "Still can't believe you beat me to it. That's why I insisted on being the one to propose you know. Oh but that's a whole other story."

As if fearing the silence, Eridan launched into yet another story.

~ ~ ~

"AMPORA, WE'RE STILL ON FOR OUR DATE TODAY RIGHT?"

Eridan smiled at yet another text from a familiar number.  "Of course wwe are," he texted back, "Same thing I told you the last thousand times you asked. In fact, I'm gettin' ready right noww. Evverythin alright?"

It didn't take long for the response, "YEAH YEAH EVERYTHINGS FINE. JUST MAKING SURE. ILL BE THERE SOON, DONT KEEP ME WAITING FISHDICK."

"As if I evver do," Eridan shot back with a laugh as he fixed his hair, "You wwound me." Despite his words, he still smiled warmly at his phone. They'd been going on regular dates for some time now and he'd already decided he'd ask Karkat to be his matesprite properly soon. He couldn't wait.

A few minutes later, the ringing of the doorbell alerted him to Karkat's arrival. He ran eagerly to the door and opened it with a wide smile. "How's that for quick, Kar," he teased.

Karkat scoffed but still handed Eridan white rose, "Here, gift for you."

"Charming," Eridan laughed as he slipped it into a vase he kept by the door for this very reason. "Now let's get going. We don't want to be late for our reservation."

The two drove over to a fancy restaurant where Eridan had booked a table for them to enjoy. And after a delicious dinner, they decided to go for a stroll through a nearby park.

As the night drew to a close, Karkat stopped Eridan before they could start heading back to his car. "Hey Ampora," he said, taking both of Eridan's hands.

"What's up Kar? You've gone all stiff."

Karkat cleared his throat awkwardly. "I've got something important to tell you," he said, "So shut the fuck up and don't ruin it."

Eridan raised an eyebrow but stayed silent as he was told and nodded at Karkat to continue.

"We've been going on these dates for some time now," Karkat said, speaking quickly as if to stop himself from chickening out. "And I was wondering if you'd want to be my matesprite. Properly and officially."

"You're kidding," Eridan said his jaw dropping. He scrambled to keep talking before Karkat could snap at him for the less than optimal answer. "No wait, yes, yes. I would love to be your matesprite," he laughed, "It's just that I was thinking of asking you out soon and here you are doing it first instead."

Karkat tried for an annoyed look but ended up laughing along anyway, "Yeah well, guess I'm just better than you like that."

~ ~ ~

Eridan sighed, leaning back on his hands. "You should have seen your face when you thought I was about to reject you," he laughed, wiping away a tear.  "As if I would ever be that stupid."

He shook his head, "No. Never. And so many good days came out of that one yes, didn't it? God remember moving in together? And our wedding?"

Taking just a second to catch his breath, Eridan started talking again. Telling story, after story, after story. Before long, evening had fallen. The food he'd brought was long gone and in fact it was nearly time for dinner.

"Well," Eridan said softly. He gathered up various wrappers and tupperware to throw back into the basket before standing up with a grunt. "Should probably head home now."

His voice wobbled as he lifted his hand to his mouth and blew a kiss at the grave before him. "I miss you," he said. Tears flowed freely now, trailing violet down his face. "I'm doing alright though," he managed. "Kanaya told me to say hi. Feferi too."

With a heavy sigh, Eridan picked up his things and turned to leave. "Until next year," he said, glancing back one last time.

A pity lowbloods always die so young.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Please tell us abt yr dnd characters holy shit

OK BET SO I HAVE SEVEN OF THEM AND FOUR OF THEM ARE KINDA FLESHED OUT THE OTHER THREE ARE IN THE CONCEPT ZONE

im in the process of making aesthetic blogs for them too so like ...... check out my main if you want em @turntechgodhcad 👀

-mod dave

ok so my first one is my chaos elf. glenn meldarion is my stupid idiot bitch boy and i love him and he lives in the woods. hes a rogue and hes chaotic neutral, hes 20, hes aroace, and naturally hes an amazing shot with a bow and arrow. also his full name is glennodad gonk meldarion and each of the names has a meaning

i looked up some elvish translator a while ago and “glennodad” translates to “jared”. jared 19

“meldarion” translates to “dave”. so his name is Elf Jared Dave

“gonk” is the name of my worm on a string so his middle name is gonk

theres nothing particularly angsty about glenn, he doesnt have a sad backstory or anything but he sure has a dumb one. so this fuck head ass starts out on a vegetable / fruit farm and hes minding his own business, he hunts for meat and stuff, and what he doesnt eat he sells. so hes got his own little market goin on but hes not exactly the most Popular of the vegetable sellers because yknow everyone and their mom on the edge of town is a vegetable seller so while glenns not selling fruit hes pickpocketing. and ONE DAY he pickpockets a Haughty Noble and gets caught. so this dude is like “ok” and places a little bounty on his head and hes run out of the town by this nobles goons and shit cause He Wants Payback, so up until he finds a home he just bounces around the woods from kingdom to kingdom camping out and shit. and he still pickpockets

--------

my SECOND boy is named cas, full name casteris emsworth, and hes human, hes my beautiful baby son and i love him and hes a druid (circle of the shepherd) !! hes a neutral good, hes 19, hes got himself a little Knife and hes bi !! and hes . very 👀 at this one tiefling of banes (if yall dont know bane thats my partner ^^).............his names lucas and oh boy cas has the Big Gay...............

cas’ main focus in his druidism is just plants. like people have specific focuses for some of their characters, cas just fucking likes plants. he absolutely excels in potions, and he fucks around with alchemy too. he keeps this big ass tome of plant sketches that hes seen on his travels, and he bakes bread when hes stressed and hes really good at writing! and hes fucking terrified of Really Big Fish . 

his backstorys kinda sad but not really fleshed out; he was raised druidic in a kingdom that outlawed magic, his family got Found Out, they were ordered to be executed and cas escaped. usually this is where people would get vengeful and angry and wage a personal war against the kingdom, but cas doesnt have an angry bone in his body and instead went fucking asap to another place to keep practicing in his parents’ names !! he stayed with a cousin until he got a little hut of his own and now hes just Vibing. his main goal right now is to recreate this potion that he did. he was just fucking Mixing Shit and he grew a baby ent. and now hes like. Hellbent on trying to figure out how the FUCK he did that

--------

then i have a fire genasi whos kind of just in physical character development right now, his name is mathias ganteoran and hes a fighter !! hes 21, chaotic neutral but a Different Flavor than glenn, more Harsh, he fights with a bo staff, his hair is Literally Fire and hes trans demi and gay

mathias is the Grumpy Friend who Doesnt Have Time For This Bullshit but he gets roped into a bunch of stupid stuff anyway and its really great. also he has a rebellious streak and hes just Big Punk. or at least as punk as 1394 can get. also i know for a fact that the way he did his top surgery was that he just went up to some magic friend of his and went “de-tit me” and they did and long story short Magic Top Surgery .

also i didnt have a name for him for six months and i called him “motherfucker unlimited” until i named him

--------

aaryn mendalyn is my next character i love her so much shes my triton, and i really want to use her in a campaign soon. shes a monk (way of the open hand), chaotic good, 19, pan as hell, and this bitch has GAUNTLETS !!!!!

and let me tell yall aaryn is here to do three things and three things only. punch the fuck out of things, party like a rock star, and EAT DIRT

she has a bit of a backstory that involves dirt actually, so shes kinda got a little mermaid complex going on but not cause she finds a guy or smth. so tritons as a species act really superior cause theyre underwater and shit (think amporas) but aaryn always thought “but hm. the land is pretty cool. it has dirt, we have dirt but wet, its the same shit??” so she decides “ok im gonna go be on land now” and she just fucking loves the dry dirt. shes not worried about what her family will think cause shes really fucking impulsive and hey if she doesnt go back then she doesnt go back. she is having the time of her life

--------

for the characters that are still in progress, and all of their info is “X until further notice” cause i still have a lot of research to do on these species and classes

i have a 21 y/o lawful neutral nb lesbian aasimar cleric named kirijah whose entire aesthetic is half-victorian, half-classical, all sun / clouds. theyre trying their best to be poised all the time but god theyre confused as to why they hang out with these people

then theres my 19 y/o chaotic neutral-turned-good human witch named myra !! shes my only character with a homebrew class so im gonna have to figure out how to work with that. shes an aro bi demigirl, and she doesnt have a Full backstory but i Do know that she was definitely forced to commit a Major Crime, it left her fucked up, and now shes trying to move in a new way better direction. so now shes the cheerleader of her friend group !!

and FINALLY my latest and least developed, my DWARF CLARISSA !!!!!!! shes a barbarian, probably neutral, DEFINITELY chaotic, im probably gonna end up making her trans (if i write her character well enough that is. i want to flesh her out to where it makes sense cause i really want to avoid the “barbarian trans woman” stereotype, obviously thats really fucking harmful) and out of the seven she is the ONLY one with a brain cell

[pinktatertots99]

🔥 Feelings on the canon ships of Homestuck?

Send Me a 🔥+ a Topic, and I’ll Tell You My Honest Opinion About It

god am i gonna need to go with the sequals too? just og or all ships that’re considered canon by the end? whatever i’ll just go in order in what might be the ‘canon’ ships from all three of these categories. this is gonna be fucking long so anything and everything is under the cut. also i’m SO not gonna add hiveswap that can be its own separate ask. so:

roxygen: it’s a cute ship...but the sequal vers is garbage considering how inconsiderate roxy is to john’s feelings and his house burning down like damn rox this is the guy who sat with ya as ya mourned doom rose’s death give the guy some fuckin time himself.

rosemary: also cute ship...sequal versions are fuckin godawful tho. their barely a thing in meat from wha i can gather and then there’s candy...oh CANDY kanaya deserves better fuck this sense of her sayin she’s over it idc if it was off screen, even then half the cast ate stupid pills during that time so WHY must i be surprised that this is wha happens?

dave/kat: i dun like it. in either universe. meat is just perfect gay bois who have occasional deep talks and literally do nothing else while candy they split up thanks to jade which, geez ya guys must’ve been shit to tell her to fuck off like come on. og hs wise i barely consider them canon if we only get pictures and them just being on equal footing on quadrant talk. not to mention dave implied to be crushing on jade and JOHN not karkat, idk where this couple even came from other then love triangle situation with terezi but like, that’s barely much of a reason to become canon. i’d go with em bein pale/moirails more.

jadedave: i’m guessing candy and meat i thought meat implied they were dating but may aswell. so....it sucks but thats because candy and meat suck, meat dave’s basically cheating on her i didnt hear any implication they broke up and she’s like...chill??? and then there’s candy where she literally forced him and kar to break up and dated after dirk apparently died, i do not like the implications of this whole thing. course candy dave is dead and a robot now so...anyways canon wise dave had a crush on her and if jade does like him i’d hope it’s not cause of davesprite cause despite both being dave’s they were different. it’s cute otherwise.

davepetajade: it’s...cute? i guess? idk i kinda found davepeta a bit...idk overwhelmingly overrated? like i know where their popularity came from but readin the series now after all that hype i dont really see it anyways tho it’s basically davespritejade with nepeta in the mix. and idk nothin implied much of nepeta liking jade, or talkin to her much. and davepetasprite is a mesh of both so idk. it’s a ship with cute fanon works of em hanging with outfits but that’s bout it.

janejake: i hate it. legit. this is disgusting and completely throws out jane’s character. like even in the fixed timeline the talk she had with dirk probably still happened on the god bed’s and how she acknowledged wha she thought was wrong on wantin jake’s kids and so on trickster still happened and how she also realized she might’ve overhyped jake. but lets throw it ALL out the window to force jake in an unhappy marriage in both universes and possibly force him to stay in candy due to having tavvy if i’m reading the implications right. even then jake isn’t good for jane either both got their own needs this ship would’ve been sunked in canon and WAS but the sequals are beyond it so maybe that explains it but it disgusts me.

roseterezi: guess in meat specifically. yeah i kinda dont...care for it, like i still cant tell if rose and kanaya broke up or if she just fucked off without breaking up either one is fucked up on kan’s behalf. even then i just dont care for their kismesis it got brought up once and that was it.

jaderose: candy wise i guess even tho it was a fling. it disgusts me still mostly because of kan’s behalf on bein fucked over and both goin through a ‘surrogation’ process without her notice. like fuck this shit the jaderose fans deserve better.

roxycallie: idk if this one’s canon but it’s heavily implied callie lives with roxy least in candy. it’s cute, cant deny it even in og it was pretty cute, dont really care for candy vers tho but then again maybe their not a couple in it idk what’s canon couples anymore.

johnterezi: literally fucked in meat universe and john has kismesis feelings for her in canon. it’s...interesting, idk tho i feel like it’s one sided on john’s side.

ms paint/spade slick: i cant deny it’s cute, he’d least know how to treat a lady but god i’d hope it wouldnt be his only defining trait with her. also want ms paint to call his bullshit out pls and thanks.

dirkjake: honestly i cant tell if their STILL canon in og or not god forbid the sequals. in general though...i dont. i honestly dont really like em together much. they seem like the type to least stay friends but idk bout another relationship would be a good idea for em. maybe later down the line but otherwise canon wise they need a break.

and now for the canon one timer ships this involves any ships implied, uncomfirmed, ex-relationships, crushes, etc:

arasol: it’s cute, best ship. their quadrant was never confirmed but regardless their cute. sol tho in the sequals deserved better then to get abandoned by aradia goddamn.

fefsol: also cute, i live for both of em bein ass’s together.

erisol: oh boi this one...this was...yeah i cant even deny they wouldnt be too healthy, i like lookin at fanon ways tho for em. canon wise tho yeaaaah no these guys definietly wouldnt work.

gamtav: it’s...cute but boi gamzee needs some help i think.

gamsol: -sollux did imply he either wanted a kismesis or matesprit with him in one of the flashes- again same as gamtav.

aradia/equius: BIG NOPE nope nope nope equi that’s weird wha ya did never do it again thank fuck aradia hasnt been around him since.

karterezi: their actually kinda cute, looking back on em they could’ve worked. stupid doomed timeline bullshit.

daverezi: also kinda cute, idk tho if i got flushed for em tho i get more pale vibes but it was semi-a thing.

kanvris: it’s baaaaad kanaya deserves much better and vriska never seemed much the type for cementing into a relationship.

vristav: even worse, like i’d like to thank fuck tav one up-ed her in the end cause fuck wha he had to go through.

karmeenah: it...could be cute? maybe? only iffy part is the ages, i thought the dancestors were like sixteen tho since the kids said they were teenagers even tho they were at the time about fourteen? idk tho if eighteen is considered an adult in alternia or not tho it’s kinda implied to be? anyways tho it’s just off puttin maybe a bit tho.

meenahvris: it’s kinda cute, it was atleast, idk lookin back it does feel more unhealthy.

rufidama: baaaaaad i love rufi but he’s got some bullshit he needs worked out and damara deserves someone better.

rufihorr: just as bad as above, both deserve someone better or atleast horrus does with some therapy on it rufioh i think should just chill on relationships but it’s so obvious their not meant to be.

mitula: it’s cuuuuuute i cant deny it, ...okay fanon vers is canon is barely anything and tula does give more pale implications for tuna but with how protective she was over damara near him it’s sweet, but god do i wish canon tuna gave more feelings for tula.

kantula: it’s...creepy. like it’s so obvious the vantas bois cant communicate well but kankri’s crush feels almost pressuring on tula when he kept goin about them and goin “oh but we’re totally friends and i’m celibate so it’s okay its whatevs” like kan go to a corner give tula some air to breath.

crotuna: BIG NOPE cronus needs to learn fuckin boundaries thirsty fish bastard.

should i even add cro//eri due to the fact he literally asked an eridan out? regardless gross, ew, no, i’ll take the fanon ampora brothers anyday canon i didnt fuckin need that thx.

porrnea: it was implied to be more of a fling. idk considerin aranea’s track record i cant really say i’d trust her in many flushed quads. and porrim seems the type to have hers open and not a closed off thing so idk they got different cases.

aranea/jake: i cant deny it’s fuckin cute, i’d would’ve loved if they tried to do somethin but aranea was definietly uhhh not a good choice for jake. least she backed off when he didnt wanna be kissed but man yeah, it was cute while it lasted.

kurmeu: i cant deny the idea kur forced himself quiet due to hurting meu hurts me in a sweet way but as of rn them bein ‘pale’ and him mind controllin her when we dunno if she’s alright with this or not is...disturbing.

vristerezi: i am HIGHLY doubtful this is canon considering everything but i guess i gotta cement this. i dont see em as canon in og or sequal wise since vris is still gone in both, even then i dont like, see it, i see it but idk man i like em more pale then pail.

erifef: honestly no. both are much too different for a relationship, kinda glad they uh...got cut short cause honestly even their moirailship wasnt healthy what’s to say a matespritship would? on BOTH sides mind you.

rosejohn: thank karkat’s shipping board. anyways, i think their cute cause fuck it rose is a bi-con to me, canon wise probably wouldnt work but i’ll take fanon.

vriseri: kinda glad they got cut short of their kismesis cause boi eridan deserves a better one with how shit vriska was in breaking up with him.

johnvris: it was cute, i cant deny i’m soft over how the two talked things about vriska’s life and john’s it’s just kinda cute. it’s obvious tho canon wise with wha john went through it wont work out. would’ve loved if they became moirails tho but o well canon is god i guess.

spadePM: i dont like much of their implications, would be an unhealthy relationship regardless considerin spade’s flushed and PM’s pitch, they deserve some therapy and other people.

dadbert/momlonde: their cute i like the implications of em, sad they died though, it was cute while it lasted.

meowrails: may aswell count moirails in this shipping mess. anyways their cute, they gimmie sibling vibes course equius early into it was so...not a good moirail.

kurtuna: i guess it might be cute moirails? idk tho with kurloz’s implications it concerns me.

gamkar: as moirails...karkat was fuckin shit at his job i cant sugarcoat it. i get where it’s from he’s not gam’s lusus and shouldn’t be forced to check on him during his time of gettin high and such, i get they were kids, but god gam kinda deserved a better moirail. and then later on in the series it gets more fucked up between kar gettin stabbed by him and both in a pretty unhealthy moirailationship to the fixed timeline where gamzee is just shut into a fridge and kar doesnt fuckin care, like dude, wow. gamzee was bad yeah but damn, harsh a tad.

terezigam: as a kismesis it’s almost disgustingly unhealthy to me and honestly terezi deserved better and gamzee maaaaybe shouldn’t get a kismesis, ever, unless he can sort his shit out -the sequals tho wont do that lol-

minorly gonna count johndave in this: idk if i can see john reciprocating for dave so dave’s crush on him almost kinda hurts, especially since fixed timeline dave’s john is well, dead and our john is probably still different from his john, has angst but man i kinda dont mind it as a one sides crush it’s nice confirmation of dave bein bi atleast.

nepetajasper/jasprose: i cant see it, it’s disturbing i guess. i like em more as friends but jasprose is probably more creepy bout it.

signless/diciple: i think considerin the implications they were fuckin adorable and deserved the best.

summoner/mindfang: it’s kinda sad considerin its implied mindfang’s love for him might’ve been one sided, they could’ve been cute tho.

orphanor/mindfang: probably sounded like the best kismesis’s until he murdered dolorosa.

dolorosa/mindfang: BIG NOPE i dun like the implications.

condence/orphaner: since it’s implied orphaner had a crush on her, gonna say tho big nope considerin condence is a bitch.

condence/lord english: its hard to decipher their relationship in canon, but to cover all my bases it’s big nope to me somethin bout it makes me uncomfy despite both bein bastards.

[talesfrombeyondthebelly]

“Come into my parlor,” Said the spider to the fish.

I know I’m not great at titles but oh well. This is an Eri.Vr.is oral vore fic! Mainly because I’ve been doing some rps and been caught up in the great dynamic they have imo. This is a sfw fic, but again it is a vore fic so if you turn away I won’t be offended. That said, I hope you enjoy and I’m always open to criticism!

There would be an unceremonious sigh that would come from a certain violet blooded sea dweller as he fiddled with the pieces for his latest scheme to exterminate all the land dwellers. Or at least, that would be what he had claimed he was doing, he never truly planned to execute it both due to lack of ambition and the resources. Really, the boasting and bragging about what he planned to do wasn’t as much of a threat as he liked to claim it was, and truly it was more along the lines of a need for attention than any true plans of committal. 

It had been a slow night for one Eridan Ampora, and having wasted most of it attempting to message any troll to either gossip with three of them or spew some rhetoric he didn’t fully believe. But even then, all that was accomplished was that he was being ignored while he vied for attention. All that was left was to stay cooped inside and rewatch old documentaries as he idly fiddled with historical figure memorabilia.

That was, it was all he had to do until someone had decided to free him from his self-isolation.

AG: Heeeeeeeey, Eridan. ::::) 

The sea dweller would squint, he didn’t think his rival would message him after deciding not to message her first. They had broken up when they were six sweeps due to him boring and overbearing; but some time after they turned seven sweeps, Eridan’s attempts to renew their rivalry would pay off after much work and effort. And now they had been going strong even after they hit nine sweeps old.

However, he would roll his eyes at the sight, he knew her innocent seeming spider smile was anything but.

CA: wwhat do you wwant you cerulean blowwhard dont you knoww im busy AG: I’m hurt! After all I went through to check on my dear rival! I would have thought he liked someone giving him attention. AG: Oh well! Guess I’ll just leave you to your devices seeing how you’re *so* busy, CA: god damn it wwait CA: okay maybe i got a bit of an openin in my schedule to wwaste time wwith you AG: Please! The only one who’s going to be wasting their time is me, we 8oth know you’re pro8a8ly doing something 8oring like watching one of your lame documentaries. CA: theyre not LAME theyre goin to be your miserable dirt munchin dowwnfall soon enough AG: Oh???????? 8old claim from you Ampora. Seeing how I know you’re dead wrong. AG: Anyway! You’re coming over to my hive today right? AG: Why am I even asking? You o8viously forgot. CA: i didnt forget i totally fuckin remembered our meeting at your stupid and completely ridiculous hivve AG: It’s not stupid! What’s stupid is the fishbreath who 8uilt his hive surrounded 8y the ocean when he 8arely spends any time in the water. AG: Whatever, just come over. I’m not waiting all day for your dum8ass. CA: ugh fuckin fine CA: you still havvent told me wwhat specifically you wwanted to do ovver there anywway AG : :::;)

And with that, the conversation was brought to an end. Eridan would rub his temples, her purposely vague answer meant any number of things, usually which ended in his embarrassment in one way or the other. Of course, it was better to just go over as soon as possible rather than him wasting time by speculating, even if he did plan to make her wait to purposely be fashionably late. Something to put his pompous attitude on display. Soon enough, Eridan would don his scarf and cape before leaving his hive and embarking on the trip to Vriska’s.

The trip wasn’t terribly long, mainly because traversing through the ocean was far from an issue and her home conveniently overlooked the sea. Even so, Eridan would hold make sure to wait for an extra amount of time for no reason than to uphold the gesture that he was royalty. Feeling accomplished with his amazingly petty task, he would approach the door and knock a few times before waiting for her to answer as he dried himself off as he uncaptchalogued a few towels.

Vriska would answer the door surprisingly quickly, having not had the patience to return his petty actions before pulling him inside and closing the door behind them both. The expression on her face was blatant annoyance, but that was far from the norm regardless if it was actual exasperation or not. Eridan would up look at the other troll with a frown, even since they had gotten older he would find that she had sky rocketed past him in height. He had been a respectable  height of nearly six feet, while she had him beat by additional four feet, much to his unending irritation and to her endless amusement.

“You’re late. Even after I went and so kindly reminded you of our little arrangement. Well, I guess everything’s little to me when you’re short, but the point stands.” “yeah yeah keep braggin vvris i wwas towwerin ovver you before-” “Sure, you had a few inches on me when we were six! But now we’re nine and you’re still short, how do you explain that, hm?” That would cause him to shut up rather quickly, though he would dart his eyes around and attempt to come up with a retort, only to fold his arms and huff soon after. It wasn’t uncommon for trolls to grow as much as she did, but the fact that he wasn’t one of them meant that  discussions of height were biased in her favor. Her ten feet tall favor. His violet eyes would eventually return to her cerulean ones, there had been smile on her face, one that reeked of mischievous intent. Before he could open his mouth to question her intentions, she would cover his mouth with her hand, and some of his face as a natural consequence of the difference in size between them.

“Alright Ampora, shut up for a minute and listen. I had you come over because I had a proposition that’s going to 8enefit 8oth of us. Here’s the deal: You got two minutes to hide somewhere, and I’m going to seek you out. If I can’t find you in 8 minutes, you win! And if you pick somewhere dum8 and I find you, I win! And the loser has to do whateeeeeeeever the winner wants! Sound good? ::::)”

Eridan would try to speak his response, only for Vriska to keep her hand pressed against his face, only pulling back once he felt something wet trail along it. Irritation making itself apparent with a scoff, she would return the favor by grabbing one of his hands, sticking out her tongue and  slowly pressing the wet muscle against the other troll’s hand in a rather long lick before finally letting him go. His hand utterly drenched in saliva, Eridan’s face would scrunch up as he shook his hand dry while a small tinge of violet came across his face. It made her brief taste of him all the more delicious. 

“for fucks sake fine ill WWIN your stupid land suckin game and then wwe can do somethin wway less ridiculous and more dignified afterwwards” His statement was spoken with his usual amount of sea dweller pompous pride, even if the chips were stacked against him. Even so, he held his head up high and puffed his chest out, not about to turn down a challenge that was surely easy enough to win. She had a castle, there must have been plenty of places to hide.

“Good! Now get going Eridan, unless you want to 8e 8oring and lame and make this too easy.” She’d give him a wink, teasing him over her self-assured victory and a lick of her lips. She had no problem hinting at what she wanted to do once she won, it made it fun to see him squirm.

He’d pause for a moment and confidence turned into brief uncertainty in less than a minute, “wwait you mean right noww i havvent fuckin evven gotten to-” He cuts himself off as he sees her turn away and start to count, realizing that she wasn’t even going to wait for him to prepare himself. He’d scramble off, the sea dweller handling himself incredibly well on land even when he’s running around wearing a rather long cape. 

He wasn’t used to hiding as he was often hunting for the sake of Feferi’s lusus, but he would certainly try his hand at it to the best of his ability. Of course, his first two attempts were less than idea, having run to the very bottom of her hive to try and disguise himself by burying himself under her pile of miscellaneous belongings, only to realize he was shifting too much. He’d then decide to try his hand at hiding on one of the upper floors, deciding that hiding behind her pile of treasure would have been an unlikely spot seeing how he resented her various wins against him during their FLARP sessions. Unfortunately, this would prevent him from hiding there for long, as he does grow irritated looking at her spoils and decided to leave before it caused those pitch feelings to flair too much. Ultimately, he would decide to hide somewhere so obvious, Vriska would never think to check. He was confident in this idea, so much so that he decided to take it easy and relax in his new found spot, all he had to do now was wait 8 minutes and win. He means eight.

Vriska, predictably, did not count the entirety of two minutes before she began her hunt. Rather, she stopped once she got to eighty eight and decided that was enough for her. When she turned around, she half expected Eridan to standing right there out of spite and stubbornness about the whole thing but to her delight the violet blood was playing along. The question was where to find him, if she had to guess, it was probably somewhere dumb, like him. And so her very first guess was her trophy room, because of course he would think she’d skip over her own hoard of treasure to look for him. But upon making her way up the many stairs to check, she would find not a hair of him to found. She was a bit annoyed her first guess wasn’t right, but she had extra time to spare and her next guess would most certainly be right.

Except it wouldn’t The next room would be devoid of Eridan, and the next and the next. It would seem that no matter where she searched, he was nowhere to be found, it raise her irritation with him, and with it her hunger. The stomach of the ten foot cerulean would grumble as she briefly put a hand on it and huffed, she had to give her rival credit, he was doing a good job at making her work for this. And here she thought she’d grab an easy snack. But the warranty of it was  wearing off as time passed on, even with her head start, it would seem that Eridan was safe wherever he had chosen to hide. She couldn’t allow this to happen, she had planned for this all to go a certain way, and the fact that it wasn’t was unacceptable. Annoyed, she’d retire to her block for a moment, purely for the sake of trying not to get too caught up and at least try to remain rational about this. Only a minute to go, there wasn’t much time left, and Vriska was certain she had searched about every place there was to offer. Unless...

Without a word, Vriska would approach her wardrobe dresser, there was no way he’d hide in there right? It’d be dumb and stupid and completely ridiculous! Well, she didn’t have time, so she would ultimately waste not a moment more as she ripped open the doors to her wardrobe and... found her prize. Eridan for one was shocked with the sudden burst of light and appearance of Vriska, who apparently been frustrated looking for him. He wishes he could have seen the whole experience, but from the noises she made he got his fair share of entertainment. “8h my g8d, r8ally!!!!!!!! Y8u hid in my wardr88e????????” There was an unending amount of vitriol pouring from Vriska now, irritation at herself and him were flowing freely, and despite Eridan’s surprise, he would waste no time in displaying adjusting himself and nodding, “of course i hid here because i thought youd fuckin ovverlook it seein howw all your attire is plain as SHIT and it wworked just god damn fine seein howw a certain obnoxious glory lovvin troll took forEVVER to find me-” He would step out with a large amount of pride, quite certain he had won, only for his eyes  to dart over to the clock in her room and his face would immediately fall. She had found him with ten seconds to spare. “wwell fuck”

Vriska would try to take a moment to herself to not have too radical an outburst, she was upset, but she also wanted to savor her prize. The expression on Eridan’s face certainly helped “Wwell fuck is right! I win! And that meeeeeeeeans you have to do what I want, and I think we both know what that is.” A chill would go down his spine, while Eridan could be clueless at times, she had given him more than enough hints as to what she wanted. It certainly hadn’t been the first time they had done such a thing, but it was more than a bit embarrassing for him, which made give her some push back on the idea. “are you fuckin kiddin vvris you didnt say anythin about this bein your prize-” “Don’t 8e coy!” She’d interrupt him immediately, taking a step closer to him as he took a step back. “ I made it plenty clear! 8esides! I win, and you agreed to the terms right? It’s only fair I get what I’m promised.” 

Another step forward and he’d take another few steps back and bump into the wall behind him, Vriska smirking as she’d get closer to him, their bodies practically touching as she leaned down towards him and her lips would slowly part, strands of saliva breaking apart as he start down that cerulean abyss, taking a few teasing swallows as she inched closer before letting her warm breath washing over him and fogging up his glasses.  A few drops of drool would fall into his face before she’d close her mouth pull away, letting the situation sink in for the sea dweller as well as calm herself down, she may have had a bit of cerulean tint her cheeks in the same manner violet tinted his. Eating someone in this manner was embarrassing after all, which was why she’d only do it in private, not that she’d ever admit it out loud. Eridan had similarly shared the sentiment on the other side of the spectrum.

While embarrassment would go around on both ends, the sea dweller still contemplated making a run for it; the thought of being consumed always did trigger a fight or flight instinct, regardless of the fact that she probably wouldn’t digest him. Before he can even make an attempt however, his body is kept in place by hands on his shoulders, she had decided that she wasn’t going to give him the chance to scramble off and hide again, “I hope you’re ready, because you’re going to be in there for a while~” She would lean in again, salivating as she brought herself closer yet as her jaws widened to accept her meal. Slow warm breaths would beat against his skin as she drew tantalizingly close, all the while the fish troll would gulp nervously.

Instinctively, he would press his hands against her face as she started to lean in, he wasn’t about to let his hatemate have her meal without at least giving some fight back. One hand on her top lip and the other on her bottom, there’d be some push back as she slowly closed the distance between them yet again, it was a losing fight on his end as the predator drew closer and closer, letting him stare once again into her mouth before her tongue would slide out to press against his face and trail upwards, taking his glasses with it and causing him to loosen his hold. It was all he needed give the spider troll all the leeway she needed. Before he can even think about his mistake, she would jolt forward and wrap her lips around his neck, sealing him inside the jaws of the ever hungry troll. A hum of approval would resonate around the noble of troll royalty, reveling in the taste of victory and her meal, saliva being thoroughly slathered across his face during his various attempts to voice insults and protests. Though that wouldn’t stop him from trying. 

While it was certainly dark in the other’s mouth, being a nocturnal species meant that Eridan could see each and every detail as she made sure to truly make him squirm. It wouldn’t be long before she’d take the first swallow, letting his glasses slide along her tongue before they were unceremoniously pulled down her gullet Of course. with that swallow, he would be brought only a short distance away from the opening in her throat, as his shoulders would be brought in next. Her teeth would be pressed against his clothes to  keep him in place as his struggles and attempts to free himself grew stronger despite the situation going in the opposite direction for him. Her tongue would waste no time in running over the formerly dry parts of the troll, drenching the top of his shirt as drool as she decided to move on with her meal and take the gulp that would trap him inside her throat and bulge it out with his struggling form.

His head now captured in a pulsating throat, Vriska can continue her meal in confidence he won’t wiggle out. Her hands would move to keep his arms pinned to his sides as she moved further down his body, a hum flowing freely as she continued this consumption of him. Drool would pool in her mouth and dripping down as his chest was next to slide between her jaws as Eridan was tugged further down her throat, slightly bulging it out as he defiantly tried to move it around. Her tongue was relentless in running along the fabric she brought into her mouth, it was a bit tasteless and bland, and she regrets not shredding the shirt when she had the chance, but she ultimately makes do. Mainly by lapping at the shirt to lubricate it before taking another swallow, sending him further down the slimy gullet.

Her lips and fangs now reach his hips, and his stomach is safely contained within her mouth. Now she could have a bit more fun with him. Her tongue would curl under the bottom of his shirt to gain access to his skin yet again, an unadulterated groan escaping her to make it well known how much she just enjoyed this feeling, the noises ringing through his ears amidst his own grunts and swears. She’d stop her swallowing for a moment, reveling in the taste and wanting him to squirm a bit longer for her and attempt to fight back against the intrusive tongue as it rubbed against him,  only to end up rubbing his body more against the wet muscle, her taste buds gets all the flavor she could ever want. What probably gets the biggest reaction from her is when she gives attention to his grub scars, which are oddly enough, pretty delicious for a reason she couldn’t quite explain. But they do elicit some sounds from Eridan was well, mainly increasingly flustered insults as he keeps kicking wildly. It was quite enjoyable a feeling if she were to be honest.

While she could have kept slathering, lapping and sucking on him for a considerable amount of time, a sudden loud growl would emerge from her stomach, reminding her that she was quite hungry still. And so, she’d wrap her hands around his legs to keep them still as the next series of gulps condemned the violetblood to his fate. There would be only the briefest moment where she would remove his shoes before finally sealing the deal, tracing the last of the troll’s form down with one hand as she pushed him down to her stomach. A long sigh would come out of her as she laid on back and massage her now bloated stomach. It was a lot of work to get him down and she was blue in the face, but she had done it. She could feel him fighting and hear his complaints both of which were more than annoying when she was trying to relax, but damn, it was always satisfying to do this. 

 Eridan, for his part, always had conflicting feelings about this. His face flushed violet and his entire body was absolutely drenched in ever warm saliva, it and he was now surrounded by a brilliant shade of blue that made up her stomach walls. He attempt to push and stretch it to its limits and cause her indigestion as a form of revenge, but all he would be met with was a few gurgles as the stomach churned around him. Luckily, it didn’t seem like he was going to be digested, otherwise he would have been splashing stomach acids all over him from his struggles, instead of other contents in her stomach. It included a few eight balls and dice, unsurprisingly. Despite his best efforts, he would only slightly stretch out her grey skin as Vriska could see her bloated stomach wiggling and bulging with his form, she was content to keep him in there.

It would be a few minutes before Eridan’s protests would die down and he’d resign himself for now as he attempt to get comfortable against the soft stomach lining that surrounded him. As embarrassing as this had been, he had expending his stamina and his frustration dying down to contempt. It would allow her to relax a bit more and close her eyes. She thinks she’s going to take a nap before they do anything else. She might let him out later but for now, this was just another mark of victory for her. It was fun, they’ll have to do this again sooner rather than later.