#i wanted to add some sort of comment or statement
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trying to explain something that dosen't make much sense in the first place
more under cut
#artists on tumblr#traditional art#doodle#depression#i wanted to add some sort of comment or statement#but i've been really dizzy ? light-headed?#these past few days (i ran out of my meds lol)#and i don't think it'll come out coherent at all#maybe i'll come back to this#art
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Usually when Claire works the closing shift at Rocky's, she and Dean will wind down with a couple of beers at the end of the night. It's a nice little ritual Claire looks forward to every time she comes around, though she'd never admit as much out loud.
Tonight, Dean has mixed up a batch of one of his specialty cocktails - The Queen of Moondoor. It's bright, a sort of red-orange color, and has a sweet and sour taste that makes Claire's jaw ache.
"Do you like it?" Dean asks, like Claire's opinion really matters.
She nods. "It's good."
She's not lying. Dean isn't really a cocktails kind of guy but he's put a lot of effort into every detail of Rocky's. From the various pride flags carefully hung behind the bar, to the salt painted into the windowsills, every inch of the place is meticulously planned out. Rocky's isn't officially a hunter's bar - though it is explicitly a gay bar - but it's become an unofficial gathering place of queer hunters across the continental US.
Even the cocktails on the menu are Dean's own invention. All of them have a backstory, some of which Claire isn't privy to. She knows enough to understand why the Queen of Moondoor is Dean's personal favorite, though.
It also packs a surprising punch. Two drinks in, and Claire already feels herself tilting from tipsy into full-on drunk. She slows down her pace.
"How long are you planning on sticking around now?" Dean asks, because free booze is never just free booze with him. There's always the interrogation. He's almost as much of a mom as Jody is.
"A few days," Claire answers vaguely. "Maybe longer, who knows. I don't have any hunts lined up right now and you pay pretty well."
She knows for a fact he pays her double what he does his other bartenders. Neither one of them ever mentions it, though.
"Weren't you heading back to Jody's?"
Claire shrugs, uncomfortable. She had been, before last night's call with Kaia. They're good most days, even with the strain of Claire being on the road half the time, but sometimes when they talk, they'll hit on a sore topic for one of them and things will get stilted.
The anniversary of Mom's death is coming up in a couple of weeks. Kaia wanted to join Claire for her visit to the cemetery.
"What's on your mind, Strawberry Shortcake?"
Claire is supposed to roll her eyes now. Tell Dean to fuck off and mind his own business.
She doesn't really want to do that. But she doesn't know how to explain to Dean what she's feeling, either.
"It's stupid," she says. "I'm being dramatic."
"You? Never."
Claire scoffs, and Dean's eyes soften.
"You can talk to me, you know."
"Yeah," Claire says, because she does. He gets her, weirdly enough. They get each other. It probably doesn't say great things about either of them. "I just... I feel like I'm making up problems."
Dean takes a sip of his drink. It's difficult to look dignified, drinking out of a straw, and he does not remotely manage it. "Let me be the judge of that."
"Kaia wants-" Claire stops herself, because that's not the point of it. "I - we're good. Me and Kaia. I don't feel ashamed about it."
Dean waits for her continue.
"I'm a lesbian," Claire adds, even though, duh.
"Congrats," Dean says, and it feels like it could be sarcastic but it's not. He means it.
"I don't think -" no, that's not right. "I know my parents wouldn't be okay with that."
The statement lands heavily between them. It feels bitter on Claire's tongue, an ugly truth held at bay for far too long. She feels awful saying it, like she's failing her parents. Speaking ill of the dead. But it's the truth.
Mom and Dad would make these... comments. And Claire remembers each one with perfect clarity, because she's known something was different about her for a very long time. She knew those comments were aimed at her, even if her parents didn't.
They were wonderful parents in every other aspect. Up until they abandoned her, that is. Claire still can't help but feel like she's failing them, sometimes, being who she is.
"They might have changed their minds," Dean offers. "If they'd known. It's different when it's your own kid."
Claire eyes him, curious. "Was it different for your parents?"
Something crosses over Dean's expression, too quickly for Claire to catch it.
"No," he admits after a beat. He runs his hand over his face. "Maybe - Mom might have been fine with it. She didn't know."
Claire swallows. "But your dad did. And it wasn't different."
She feels cruel, pushing the topic. But there's some perverse part of her that needs the confirmation. Dean reminds her of herself, in a lot of ways. He'd say it was the other way around. If he experienced the rejection that Claire feared as a kid, the one that still scares her even if it's purely theoretical now, then that proves something.
"It wasn't," Dean admits. "But Jimmy Novak was no John Winchester."
Claire's chest aches. There's some hollow triumph at the abstract confirmation of her worst fears. Mostly, she just feels like shit.
"For what it's worth," Dean adds, "I think you're perfect. No notes."
Embarrassingly, Claire's lower lip wobbles. She clears her throat, looking off to the side as she tries to regain her composure.
"You think you're my dad or something?" she asks, voice rough.
Dean shrugs, looking embarrassed himself. "I kind of think of you as my kid, yeah. If that's okay."
Claire crosses her arms, feeling warm and aching and off-kilter. "I - yeah. Yeah, that's fine."
#dean and claire#spn#supernatural#spn fanfic#perlukafarinn writes#lesbian claire novak#bi dean winchester#i had a bunch of ficlet ideas based on my last post about dean running a gay bar post-canon#this was the most compelling to me but i'm not sure i got it across right#but i had to get it out there anyway
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giving my thoughts and ideas on Ratio's character stories
I wouldn't call this much of an analysis but we'll see how it goes
Starting out with his first character story, most of it is Professor Rond's recommendation letter.
I'd like to start by sharing my thoughts about Ratio and Rond first before actually getting into dissecting the letter itself.
So, firstly, I'd like to mention that (to my knowledge) we have never heard of or from Ratio's parents. I find that ironic considering what a big shot he is, I doubt that his parents would ever willingly shut up about their son.
Reading that Rond had a 'significant influence on Ratio's upbringing' particularly stands out to me because, at least at the time of the original letter being written, Ratio was in secondary school (Grade 9-12, though some of the wording in the letter lead me to believe he was likely on the lower end of that range).
Now, a high school teacher having a 'significant influence' on someone's upbringing isn't necessarily uncommon, nor are old teachers proud of their past students becoming extremely successful. However these points, alongside the fact that Ratio's parents are nowhere to be seen in canon, lead me to believe that there was some sort of familial relationship between them, especially seeing Rond's reaction to being asked about Ratio as well as how he had kept the original letter.
Moving on to the actual letter.
Grade skipping is a pretty common practice where I'm from, as it allows learning at the appropriate/needed level (ignoring the fact that the school system is in shambles).
However, the way this is phrased is as if Rond were trying to convince him to be able to skip grades. If he were in grade 11 or 12 I feel like it would not have been phrased this way, which is what leads me to believe he was likely younger, possibly fresh out of middle school.
The highlight on creativity is just because it makes me smile honestly, also it ties into one of my earlier posts about how I think Ratio would adore the subject of art.
I would like to return to my point of Rond being a potential parental figure to Ratio, seeing as he seems to know his daily routine well enough to confidently write about it in his letter of recommendation.
On to his second character story, which is mostly online posts in a thread-like format.
It wasn't until his eighth doctoral degree that he was awarded with First Class Honors, also since he is the first person to receive such in two amber eras it means he was likely the only one on stage at that time.
It also states that at the time he was already a prominent figure in society, which doesn't surprise me given the accomplishments listed by Rond in the letter despite him being in high school at the time it was written. However, he would most likely be an adult by the time he finished his eighth doctorate.
No real comment on this I found it funny that they put etc instead of continuing to list fields.
I also just find these funny and wanted to share them, but the disagreement on the last comment shows how much people admire him. I feel like that's a topic that's rather watered down in the fandom, but people genuinely admire Ratio a lot and there's plenty of reason for them to.
full-time university teachers tend to teach about 5 courses per academic year, meaning Ratio has been teaching for about 10 years.
Moving onto the third story, which is a statement from a former assistant of his about his desire to join the genius society.
I find this to be an interesting point, it seems like joining the Genius Society would be an obvious next step for a man with so many accomplishments but it's stated not once, but twice that he has never spoken about the subject (to the public at least).
I am a believer in the theory that Ratio hasn't been allowed into the Genius Society due to his humanity/compassion and his desire to spread knowledge to everyone, and I feel like this specification that he's never spoken about the topic could add to this theory.
This paragraph never fails to break my heart, but I do want to talk about the mention of an anti-planetary weapon. I feel like this Anti-planetary weapon that he spent years perfecting was a final attempt at proving to Nous that he wasn't too compassionate or too humane to receive their gaze. I remember reading about this idea more in detail elsewhere and if I can find the analyzation then I'll link it here.
Also, I feel like deep down he always knew that he wouldn't be accepted into the Genius Society, but this day, as Margaret states, was the day he finally realized it, or, fully swallowed that pill.
I find these comments to be interesting as well since they specify the narrow-mindedness of the society however, there is this comment from the Data Bank;
This comment I admittedly stumbled across when looking for something else, but I feel like it perfectly encapsulates Ratio's entire dilemma with the Genius Society, maybe not to Ratio himself but it certainly applies to everyone who comments on his achievements being worthy of Nous' approval.
I am also quite curious about who exactly wrote the 'Decoding Dr. Ratio' that we have read from in all of his character stories. They seem to have a lot of connections for someone who would typically be seen as just another paparazzi or media interviewer, I'm surprised the people listed in his stories would agree to an interview.
Onto his final story, which is about his personality and methods of sharing knowledge.
I mentioned this comment in my character notes post but I find it extremely charming that Ratio remains the same and refuses to change himself or his personality to satisfy those around him.
It is also commented in his second character story by a previous professor of his that his honesty and straightforwardness were a 'Breath of fresh air' at the University.
I love the implication that either; nobody in the entire room had any questions (unlikely), or that they were simply too scared to ask them.
I also find the comment that 'Whenever someone agrees with me, I feel like I must be wrong.' Perhaps he's gotten used to being the only one thinking the way he is or the possibility that people only agree with him so they sound intelligent themselves and weren't truly listening or understanding.
I find these comments interesting as well, a majority of the fandom mischaracterizes Ratio as mean or rude although he literally explains his viewpoints where anyone can access it (which does honestly prove his point about how knowledge is not for everyone.)
#can you tell when i learned how to use the straight line tool with my highlight#guys im going insane#im so normal#dont ask me about my autism diagnosis#please reblog if you have other thoughts or ideas id love to hear#sorry mobile users if the formatting is weird i wrote this on desktop#★ – posts!#★ – analysis!#dr ratio#dr veritas ratio#veritas ratio#hsr ratio#hsr dr ratio#honkai star rail#hsr
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NCT Dream Dating Ban #4: Renjun Pt. 1
NCT Renjun can’t date girls. As his gay friend you help him out with his sexual needs. (Part 1 of 2)
Content Warning! This is a 100% gay story. Check out this post for my straight smut and this post for more gay smut.
Pairing: NCT Renjun (giver) x Male reader (receiver)
Content: Renjun blows [male reader] in a public pool
Type of Sex: MEDIUM/BLOWJOB ONLY
Word Count: 2.4k
The NCT Dream apartments have a large community pool. It's located on the ground floor and is shared with other residents of the complex.
Almost every time that you come to visit your best friend Jisung you make it a point to go for a swim. When you have access to a swimming pool, why not take advantage of it?
Today, on the fourth day of your current week-long visit, you're nearly done when Renjun appears behind you.
You turn at the opposite end of the pool and spot him. He's wearing low-hanging swim shorts and carrying a towel over his arm. You make your way back to his end – for your final length – while he sits down on the edge waiting for you to come.
“Hi,” he says calmly when you're getting close.
“Hi,” you say and grimace, water splashing in your mouth.
He's slowly playing with his feet below the surface as you swim up beside him. You put your arms and chin on the ground and you smile at each other. Gentle waves from your last strokes make your body bobble up and down.
“Hi,” he repeats. “I… didn't expect to see you here.”
You know that he knew that you were here, and your presence in the pool shouldn't be a surprise to him. He was in the dorm when you left to go downstairs. He saw you leaving, swim shorts and a towel in hand.
“Well, I'm done,” you say as if Renjun's comment was a sign that you are in the way. You're not. The pool is big, but Renjun’s question has made you feel unsure of what he wants from you. Is he happy to see you or annoyed not to have the pool to himself? You're just a visitor after all and the last thing you want is to be a burden.
”I'll get out of your way,” you add.
Renjun is quick to stop you and the expression on his face changes. “No, stay,” he says.
Maybe it's his half naked, sexy body so close to you that makes you feel nervous, but you suddenly feel like you need to be extra polite and respectful. “Nah, it's your pool,” you say and quickly pull yourself up on the ledge. In reality you have no desire to leave and are thrilled to be alone with the man. You can’t think of a time when you ever have been.
Water rushes down your body and your swim shorts cling to your crotch as you surface. You turn around and sit down beside the slim man.
He looks at you. “Yeah, but as our guest we want you to be comfortable,” he says and smiles wide. Then he smirks and adds: “You certainly seem to have been.”
Ah, he knows, you think.
“Been what?” you ask.
“Comfortable,” Renjun replies. “With the others…”
He definitely knows.
Suddenly it all makes sense. This isn't a chance encounter. Renjun saw an opportunity to catch you alone and took it. You're not quite sure though. The last statement almost sounded seductive, as if he's playing and flirting with you, but it might just be your wishful thinking.
Are you getting cocky and naive? Just because you've already had sex with Jisung, Mark and Haechan, why on earth would Renjun want to have sex with you too? Not to mention Jeno, Chenle or Jaemin. What a ridiculous idea. What do you think this is, some sort of sexual fantasy?
Other than the fact that you still sleep with Jisung every night, which has been great since you've discovered that you can be friends with benefits, you've been on an incredibly lucky streak. Of course you're not going to get to sleep with more of the boys.
Maybe I'll look up gay clubs, you think as you contemplate all of this in under two seconds. Jisung is great but very inexperienced, and you’ve got to put an end to this before someone gets hurt. These boys are making me so fucking hard.
Then you realize that maybe Renjun actually disapproves of what you've been doing with some of the other boys. Maybe, now that you over-think it, there was not flirting but rather resentment in his voice when he hinted at your activities with them. Or, is he really thinking about what you think he's thinking about at all? Maybe he's completely in the dark?
Fuck, I’m going crazy!
You suddenly realize that you’ve created an awkward silence. Renjun never finished his indirect statement, and your mind has wandered off. You decide to let it go and change the subject.
“You swim a lot?” you ask.
Renjun quickly adapts to the situation. “Yeah. A few times a week at least. I love coming here, it's relaxing.”
“Hah, a way to get away from the others?” you joke.
“Something like that,” Renjun says and chuckles. He looks at you curiously. “Nice technique by the way.”
You're not sure if he's being serious or just trying to make small talk. “Thanks.”
“You professional?”
Okay, he's definitely not serious! You laugh out loud. “No, not at all. I just love that you guys have a pool. Gotta take advantage of that, you know? I like the calmness here, it's always empty.”
Renjun nods as if he knows exactly what you mean. “I come down here all the time, mainly to get away form the boys like you said. None of them swim. This place feels like mine and I like that.”
His tone is suddenly thoughtful and dreamy. You've never considered swimming to be a very deep sport, but Renjun's voice carries a hint of such depth. Like he's using the pool as an escape not from the boys and the noise, but from something more. A break from real life.
“Yeah,” you say. “I can imagine. What about the other residents?”
“I hardly see them either. Some come down here every now and then, but I think they're just paying for the privilege. Like it's a status symbol or something to have a swimming pool. Is it true by the way?”
The question surprises you. “Is what true?” you ask, but deep down you know that Renjun wants to get back to the subject he was trying to bring up earlier.
“Did you really have sex with the others?”
Ah. Of course Mark couldn't shut up either. Or, maybe he did and Jisung is the one who’s been painting you as the slut that you are. It’s a label you don’t mind. Regardless, there’s no point in dancing around it and you actually like that Renjun wants to be frank and open about it.
“Yes,” you say matter-of-factly.
“Why?” Renjun asks. He doesn’t show any emotion on his face.
“Why not?” you ask, passing the ball back to him. But you quickly decide to retake control. “I'm gay, you're hot and cute. They came to me. The dating ban…”
Renjun speaks before you get a chance to finish the sentence. “Mm, the dating ban. You know we don't actually have one, right?”
“Yeah, Jisung explained it to me. But I understand your position. You can't be seen in public with girls, so I can imagine it must be difficult to find partners even for… well, sex. And of course, you can't go on apps or anything like that. So they're horny and frustrated.”
“Trust me, there's no shortage of women in our lives.”
“Who?” you ask and raise an eyebrows.
“Staff, friends of friends, other idols. WayV and one-two-seven have more sex than you can imagine.”
“Hah, I doubt that. I have a pretty wild imagination.”
“I'm just saying. We all saw Mark follow you into the bathroom. We're not deaf, we know you have sex with Jisung every night. And Haechan… He hasn't stopped gushing about you since he… fucked you.”
You can’t help but smile faintly. “What are you saying?” you ask.
Renjun doesn't answer. Instead, he puts his hand on your shoulder and smiles back at you.
His fingers glide from your shoulder to your neck. He leans in and puts his other hand gently on your bare thigh. Your noses brush together, and you immediately know where this is going.
You're so ready for it. You close your eyes and open your mouth slightly. You feel the presence of Renjun sitting close to you, touching you softly, a warm breath on your cheek. You press your nose against the skin under his eye, and enjoy every second as you slowly begin to kiss.
When your mouth meets Renjun's soft lips you reach out to touch him too. You squeeze and caress his slim body while you make out, feet still in the pool and boners forming in your shorts. You're instantly hard.
Renjun appears eager to take things further, and you wonder who’s really the slut here. He's the one who keeps moving closer, and who eventually bends down to kiss your neck and shoulder.
He moves down your chest and starts to slide into the water. His head and lips go lower on your body, until he falls completely in and pushes out and away from the edge.
He glides effortlessly around your knee, then into the gap between your legs. His body carefully pulls your legs apart as he comes in like a ship about to dock and finally reaches your cock.
You stare down at the top of his head when he grabs the seams of your swim shorts. You raise your ass slightly and he slides them down your ass.
Your cock is released, and he quickly takes it in his mouth. With his hands on your naked hips and your shorts floating half way down your thighs, he licks and kisses your shaft, until he puts his lips around the head and lowers himself onto it.
“Ahh, fuck,” you moan, partly as a result of the intense pleasure Renjun is giving you, partly to show him that you're okay with all of this. You want it – oh man, you want it so badly – and you want him to know that.
The blowjob in the pool lasts for several minutes. It's only interrupted once when you ask, “Ahh, Renjun, what if someone comes?”
He looks at you with a playful expression, cock still in his mouth. “Isn't that the goal?”
You laugh out loud. “That's not what I meant,” you say and run your fingers through his hair. The conversation is oddly similar to when you first blew Jisung just two days ago. It's almost as if Renjun's terrible joke was written by the same author.
Things escalate further when Renjun decides that it’s time. As he bobs up and down in the water he puts his hands on your knees and pulls himself up. His body is stretched long, his lips reach yours, and you're suddenly making out on the edge of the pool.
Your hands are all over the sexy man's body. “Seriously,” you say between hot kisses. “This is a public pool.”
“No,” Renjun points out. “It's for residents only and no one ever comes here. I always swim alone.”
He knows that the risk is there though, and that the consequences of his actions could hurt him a lot. You on the other hand would only feel embarrassed, if even that. His career is at stake while you have nothing substantial to lose.
For that reason, he suddenly becomes even more eager. You can't go back to the dorm – you are guaranteed not to be alone there – yet neither of you want to end things. So instead, he suddenly falls back into the pool and pulls your whole body with him.
You laugh when you hit the water and your head becomes immersed. You both giggle and smile while you kiss and kick your legs to stay afloat.
This is so much fun, you think and feel an intoxicating rush.
You're overcome with lust and desire when you press Renjun against the wall and the full length of your bodies rub together. You're ready for him to fuck your ass just like the others have, to use you as a release for his sexual frustration and come inside you like a starving beast devouring a meal.
But, as it turns out, Renjun has other plans.
“Wanna fuck me?” you ask.
“No,” Renjun says which initially takes you by surprise.
“Why not?”
“I'm gay. There's this smut blog about us that I follow, where people voted me as the idol they most want to see bottoming. I want you to fuck me.”
Your face immediately lights up. Well, this is a surprise! you think excitedly.
You’ve always wondered but never asked if any of the boys were gay. Renjun hinted at it earlier in your conversation when he pointed out all the women they could have. Now, you think that maybe you don't need to seek out those gay clubs after all. This is almost too good to be true, and there's nothing you'd like to do more in this moment than to drill your dick into Renjun's twinky ass.
But you can't. Not here. You're in a public pool, sort of. Anyone could walk in at any moment. You're already exposed enough, and having sex this publicly is too risky.
Going back to the dorm is not an option. With Haechan you were alone in the house but that was a rare occurrence. With Mark, he was the one who secretly forced his way into the bathroom when you went in there. And Jisung… you're close friends and you're staying in his bed anyway, which was always the arrangement even before you had sex. It’s no business of the others what you do in there when the door is closed.
As your mind goes looking for a solution you suddenly think of the the showers in the changing room. They're in an adjacent room to the pool and relatively private. You were in there before your swim and left your clothes in a locker.
“Hey. You did shower before getting in, right? Your hair isn't even wet…”
Renjun smiles wide back at you. “No,” he admits, clearly understanding what you're getting at. “I was in a hurry to find you before you were done.”
“Then let’s go. I’ll fuck you, if we do it in there.”
Click here to read Renjun's part 2.
Click here to read the previous 'Dating Ban' story with NCT's Mark.
If you like my stories, support me by clicking here to buy me a coffee.
#smut#nct smut#nct#nct dirty#kpop smut#nct dream#smut writing#nct imagines#nct dream renjun#renjun smut#nct renjun#renjun#nct gay smut#gay smut#kpop x reader#kpop x male reader#nct x reader#nct x male reader#nct x you#kpop x you#kpopxmalereader#nctxmalereader#renjun x reader#renjun x male reader
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Fruity Drinks: L x Reader - Drunk Sex (Minors Don't Interact)
Writer's Notes: Can you tell that I'm running out of ideas? First Shigaraki's stoned smut and now L's drunk smut. I don't encourage substance use!! It's just funny to write about with my favorite characters.
Warnings: VERY ooc L, silly L, fem reader, alcohol use, drunk sex (L and reader are both drunk), the reader is described as a young adult, oral sex (m and f receiving), 69, no penetrative sex, comedy smut sorta, lame and cheesy but kind of fluff ending
How L ended up agreeing to this little arrangement was beyond him. It wasn't that he had never consumed alcohol before. There were a few times when he'd buy a sweet drink from a nice restaurant when he went out. Drinking enough to get drunk, though? L couldn't recall ever doing that. He hated the idea of his judgement and self-control being impaired.
However, he had recently solved a very internationally significant case. You insisted that he and you should celebrate. L didn't really understand the point, he solved cases left and right all the time. He had so many under his belt that it didn't necessarily add to his notoriety anymore. In actuality, though, you simply wanted a night where you and L felt like two typical young adults, wanting to have some fun and loosen up. His solving his latest case was merely an excuse, a poor one in L's opinion.
So you and him sat in one of his more cozy rooms at his house. The room was big and decorated nicely. You questioned if L had chosen the interior design or if it was how the room was before he purchased the house. Or maybe a product of Watari's doing? Themes of white and gold rained prominent throughout the room, which added to the novelty. In front of you and L were many drinks, accompanied by juices and soda that you thought would make the drinks more tolerable. L expressed to you that he could hardly bear the taste of alcohol, so you made sure to accommodate him with some easier options.
"So, it must feel nice to have gotten that case out of the way," you comment.
A part of L was agitated by that question, perceiving it as petty small talk. "Yes, it is. Admittedly, every time I solve a case, I feel disappointed knowing there's no more to uncover from said case; that the war has been won. The satisfaction from my victory is more to compensate for it, though. I'll just have to go searching for another, now."
"Mhm. Did you have any ideas on what drinks you were interested in?" you asked.
"Hard to say. Something sweet, for sure."
"No need to over-explain yourself. I'm sure it'll be perfectly fine."
You chuckle at his very obvious statement, "I could've guessed that. I heard that vodka cranberries were sweet, so I chose stuff for that, if it's alright. I will warn you that I am not someone who mixes drinks often. I kind of don't even know what I am doing, but I tried coming prepared."
So you continued to pour L a drink, mixing vodka and cranberry juice like an amateur bartender. You also made yourself one, hoping that the matching drinks would provide some nice bonding between the two of you. When you were done, you handed your lover his drink and he held the glass with his pointer and thumb, eyeballing it for a moment.
"This would have been nice with some cherries," he comments.
"I'll remember that for next time," you chuckle, taking a sip from your drink.
L began drinking his beverage as well, furrowing his brows at the sting of the alcohol in his throat. You eyeball him, finding his face of discomfort adorable.
"Are you alright?" you ask.
"Yes, love. It's not as bad as I thought. I think the cranberry juice dilutes the taste of the alcohol, but there's still a burning sensation."
"Makes sense."
"Why exactly are we doing this again?"
"To have fun. Loosen up a little."
"Ah, I see. You know that I'm not one to do this sort of thing. Especially not anything that would impair my reasoning abilities."
"I know. Is it okay? We can stop if you'd like."
"I didn't mean that, exactly. Honestly, I'm a little curious to what you are like while intoxicated. Is that strange of me to say?" he questions, giving you an engaged expression.
"That's true, though. Perhaps I should indulge your curiosity. You deserve the privilege for being such an outstanding girlfriend, " he eyes you with a neutral expression.
You blush and laugh a bit, "No. I don't mind that."
Honestly, L being nosy was something that was a surprising turn on often.
"I actually wanted to see how you'd be, honestly. I've never seen you drunk or high or anything like that and I was curious on how your behavior would shift."
"You're the perfect psychologist."
You chuckle abruptly in response.
You laugh at his compliments, feeling a sense of comfort in knowing his admiration for you. L continues to drink his vodka cran, watching you as you drink yours as well.
------------
About an hour rolls by and you and L are absolutely hammered. This was a surprise for sure. L had never submitted to this kind of lack of cognitive control, and you had surely never seen this side of him.
The two of you hadn't simply sat there and drank. You had turned on some crime documentary and sat side by side, with your form leaning onto his shoulder. L seemed to really be enjoying his drinks, as he downed one after the other. It was actually very concerning. In truth, he just really liked the taste of them and you two hadn't gotten snacks.
It seemed that L could hold his liquor quite well, and he did when he was simply watching TV. Until now. You sat as the documentary began to give the viewers options as to who they thought the suspect was in the series of murders. L went from dead quiet to deeply and prominently vocal, so much so that it startled you.
"It's him. How..? A seven year old could guess who the murderer is...that one-uh-guy."
Your eyes shot wide open and you tried your hardest to hold in a laugh.
"I'm shutting this off," L announces, clumsily reaching for the remote. He grips it sluggishly and flicks the tv off, slouching back onto the couch. He still sat in his typical position but with his head titled to the side, looking as though he was about to fall over.
You hadn't exactly processed your own intoxication up to this point. It was terribly difficult not to hold back your laughter, and ultimately, you failed. You let out the most uncensored laugh, and L shot his face your way with his finger pressed to his lip.
"What's funny?"
"You. You're cute."
"Oooooh. Yes, you tell me that very often."
"I'm sorry."
"Oh no need..my love. You're, quite "cute" yourself. Did you know that?"
Your flustered face beams a glow, both from the alcohol and your embarrassment. You continue to chuckle for way too many seconds. You sat rigidly in response, thighs pressed together and hands on top of them.
"You..."L begins. You could tell that him never being drunk before contributed to his very apparent intoxication.
"You're so pretty. Your hair,,, and your eyes...you're..how did I manage to end up with such a beautiful lady?? You're so gorgeous, Y/N."
He was plastered. This was hilarious. You thought he was lying but when you looked at him and saw his cheeks flushed and eyes heavy, along with his finger teasing his lips, you could tell he was genuine. He was cute, so much so that you couldn't control more flustered laughter escaping your lips.
"Am I funny?" L asked. You couldn't tell if he was insulted or not. You hoped that it wasn't the case, as your laughter was far from out of a malicious nature.
"Yeah. I think you're the funniest person I know. You make me laugh without even meaning to, like all the time."
"Hmm...you like me that much? Do I have really have that affect on you?"
Even though you were very drunk, you could hear the tone of his voice become rather flirtatious, though uncoordinated.
"I've noticed, Y/N. You're rather addicted to my attention. And when you look at me, your face lights up. Your body tenses. Your speech becomes stammered. I'm not referring to the alcohol, nuh uh. You love me."
"Yes, of course, I love you. Why wouldn't I?"
You felt hurt a little, so you held your head down. It made you upset, because yes, he was a rather sneaky and occasionally manipulative partner. He wasn't harsh or anything, or trying to corrupt you, at least you thought. But he would try and pry out information and reactions from you, and get you to say things that would help him understand your tricks and own manipulation tactics.
"Because I am a treacherous, inhumane liar. Who's to say..I'm not lying right now? About how pretty you are, hm?"
L is always a thousand steps ahead of you, easily picking up on your suspicions of the genuineness in his compliments.
"Lovee...don't frown. I didn't meaan that. I actually, have proof. That you're pretty."
"Huh?"
"Yes. Do you want to see the evidence?????"
The drunkenness of yourself and his slurred speech confused you and so you cocked an eyebrow and let out another, "Huh?"
"Come here..Sit right here, next to me."
So you complied. You scooched directly next to L. He reaches to cup your shoulder and presses you close to him. He takes your hand carefully and sets it down over his crotch. Your heart jumps at the touch of his stabbing bulge, straining against his jeans.
"You see, do you see my point?"
You could feel his point, for sure. An unexpected moan escapes your lips, and you can feel yourself become wet instantly from the knowledge of his attraction to you. It didn't help that you loved his cock, either. You feel incredibly embarrassed at the noise you made uncontrollably, and bury your face into your hands.
"No, don't do that, my love." He takes your hand and sets it on his bulge again. "I want you. Would you be willing to indulge me? In your beauty?"
"Mmmmm...yea. Yea, I'd..like that a lot," Your verbal communication has gone out the window and you are unable to manage your composure at all. "Y-yes..yes please..."
"You're so cute," without much warning, L crawls on top of you, fumbling as he does so. He hovers over you and looks you in the eyes for a moment as his hair falls downward. With lustful, lidded eyes he makes his way to kiss the nape of your neck. Even intoxicated, he manages to maintain his romantic and calculated movements, even if they are a little sloppy.
"Mmm!"
"That's it..."
L's desperate need for stimulation encourages him to grind his clothed cock on your thigh for relief. He groans as he kisses your neck, lightly nipping at it. Your gasps cause him to twitch in his pants and he yearns out in painful arousal.
"Mmm, you're soooo pretty. Can I see your breasts? They're so nice. I want to see them."
It was a little humorous when L would talk about your body. He hardly used slang terms, such as tits. His use of clinical language was cute, though awkward. You nod with an eager, "mhm."
It took him a bit to remove your shirt and unhook your bra. Surprising for him, L is usually so good at coordinated actions. Once you were exposed for him, he merely stared at you for many seconds, cock pulsing at the sight of you.
"Oh my goodness," he comments, making you embarrassed.
You can feel your face flush and grow hotter and hotter, as well as your cunt. You couldn't help it when you began squirming your thighs together in arousal, and L let out a sigh at the impact of your movements against his erection. His penis was painfully sensitive, perhaps caused by blood flow from the alcohol.
You gripped his pants, pulling the hem to release his member so you could touch him. You tuck your hand under his waistband and wrap your fingers gently around him. He sighed heavily as you stroked him clumsily. His hips rocked himself into your hand, basking in how good it felt.
"Are you,, do you feel good?" you ask with a slurred tone.
"You have no idea."
He continues nipping at your neck. His hands were relentless, searching for any part of your body to squish or tease.
"Are you turned on?" L asks with a tone of voice that makes him almost sound guilty. He knew full well he was losing control of his gravitation toward you and perhaps wasn't being the most romantic or courteous.
"How about you look for evidence?"
"Hmm.."
L did just that, hand slipped into your pants to feel your pussy. When he discovered you had a hot, wet secretion that drenched you, he slowly plunged two fingers inside out you. You whimper in tension, but once he began rubbing your special spot, your body relaxed to his touch.
His fingers pulled out, making sure to rub your clitoris a bit. The lubricant from your pussy made his motions much more fluid. Fuck, even while he was hammered he was so precise. Sloppier than usual, but still knew exactly what they were doing.
"I...i want to taste you so badly right now," he yearns as he stops fingering you. He begins moving his way down to your crotch but you grip his hair before he can make it.
"I want to..to make you feel good, too. Let me do it to you."
"What? No. I want to bury my face in you, like right now. I don't have time for your mouth."
wow.
"I think people do like, 69? Right?"
"I'm not extremely educated in that department. But...that could be nice.."
You and L exchange a few more lusty kisses until he pushes you to lie on top of him. "You should turn the other way, right?"
Without a response you turned your body so that your ass was facing him. Your cunt hovered above him, to which he glanced at for a few moments. He cupped his hands around your ass and pulled you down so that your heat was pressed against his mouth.
You yelp quietly at the contact. You hadn't ever tried 69 and the position was rather vulnerable. However, the way L was devouring your cunt made it clear he wasn't bothered in the slightest.
He lied down with his legs crunched so that his knees were bent. You took his cock in your hand, giving it a few tender strokes and finally stuffing it in your mouth. L moaned against your pussy, enhancing the stimulation. He sucked on your clit vigorously while holding you in place.
L was interesting in that he adored eating you out. You felt bad as if you were a burden for wanting that kind of pleasure. He never objected, though. He had a pretty significant oral fixation, and running his tongue along your cunt was strangely soothing. Plus, the added bonus of the pride he felt when he made you cum was incredibly rewarding.
Blowing him was kind of difficult right now. Your mouth had a hard time coordinating, but you managed to bob your head along him. He must've been enjoying it by the muffles he made against your cunt. L's cock was a bit long, which made taking his whole length tricky. His hips jolted forward on impulse, gagging you a little.
"Shit! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
"It's..okay," you said in between kisses along his cock. L wanted to chuckle at how you were treating his length, but he was far too concentrated on making you cum. You were taking a little longer than usual, but it was alright. L simply thrust his fingers inside of you for a bit and rubbed your G-spot.
He could feel himself building slowly, and he wondered if he could make the two of you orgasm at the same time.
"Mmfm...you taste incredible," he comments. "You're so pretty down here, too."
L's praise always made your heart jolt a little. Sometimes you questioned his sincerity, but he seemed to want you to feel good about yourself for whatever reason. It still made you feel validated nonetheless.
You hummed on his dick in a pleasant response. L kept running his tongue along your clit in consistent motions, and you can start feeling your cunt quiver. L knows, recognizing the way your pussy twitched in his mouth. A smirk grazes his face as your cunt spasms in convulsions and you have to pop your head up for air as you mewl uncontrollably. L allows himself to let go as well as his cum spurts out onto your face while you gave him a mess as well.
You and L both were panting, absolutely overwhelmed by your sensations. An instant exhaustion washed over and you collapsed on top of him.
"Come here," L requests. You pull yourself to face him and L kisses you deeply, not caring about the swapping of genital fluids. "Tonight has been very pleasant, wouldn't you agree?"
"Hehe...I suppose. That felt very, very good."
"I thought so, perhaps we should do that more often."
"What about the drinking, should we do that more often?
"Honestly, I'm not the biggest fan. I feel very out of control of my inhibitions," he admits. Tonight was surely fun, though.
"That makes sense."
"I liked tonight though. And I'm happy I got to spend time with you."
"Me too," you fall on L's chest, and if he wasn't so drunk, he'd probably leave once you fell asleep. But he let himself drift along with you this time, enjoying your warmth. You were already sleeping, but he planted a kiss on your temple and allowed himself comfort in your love for him.
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Just a little palette cleanser after the wild day yesterday, and what I anticipate (might) be a pretty interestinggg week.
I want to add a few things as well:
I am not going to be talking about JD anymore unless we get SOLID confirmation something is going on with him and N. I can't stress this enough though (I WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY SHOCKED IF THEY WERE DATING). If you read between the lines just a little bit with the publicly available information regarding JD and what we know about N, you would understand why I have come to that conclusion. However, I am not going to specify about that anymore here, you are free to do some research though if you would like through SM. DO NOT LEAVE ANY COMMENTS THOUGH ON ANYONE'S PAGES, PLEASEEEEE.
I want to paint a little picture for you on what I think is going on (just a theory of course):
SOOOO many things played out on a VERY public stage for L/N during the PR tour for like 6 months. And they were NOT subtle about their feelings for each other, which is why a lot of us are still here on the ship. However, the situation was pretty messy BTS (particularly for L). I talked a lot about my theories on that here. Sooooo, I think L/N might have taken some space after the London premiere to process a lot of things, and I think things were quickly unraveling with A. The Italy bday trip bs was the last straw, there was a HUGE falling out of some sort, and L and N started talking/hanging out again and something shifted (in a positive way for us Lukola fans), and tbh this shift has probably been bubbling for a while. Then N proceeded to post all those L coded crumbs (and tbf, this man is ALL over her grid and L is okay with it apparently, she's been sending a message for a while if you put the full picture together). N has ALWAYS been private about this part of her life since being in the entertainment field, but for L, she isn't. Just think about that for a second. Why might this be? I'll let you come to your own conclusions on that... So how do the JD pics fit into all of this? Well, I think this theory sums up my thoughts pretty well. I think the pics served as a distraction to take the heat off of L (and L/N) because of all the hate and attention L is still getting because of his personal life. We know N is very protective of the people she cares about (and I think she REALLY loves L and knows he's going through a really hard time rn), and so she coordinated for the pics to be released early this week to get some of the attention off of him and onto her for a change. And JD is a good friend, so agreed to it, and will get some exposure from this which could help his career a little since he doesn't have the same level of "stardom" as N. I think the pics might have also served as a statement of sorts that a lot of the hate towards L was totally unwarranted and not justified. She can do something VERY similar to his "papgate", and not get the same type of hate. Lastly, I talked about my thoughts on a lot of the recent L coded crumbs from N here. My thoughts really haven't changed. N is VERY tuned in to the fandom, and wanted us to know about her mans y'all. If she was with someone else, she wouldn't have posted WHAT she has posted since the Italy bday trip. She can definitely be a little shady sometimes, but she is NOT cruel. Why would she kick him when he's down? She wouldn't! Sooooo, everything else we've seen the last week is kind of just smoke and mirrors imo.
One more thing, please remember to critically analyze all sources of information. Look at the FULL picture of everything before jumping to any conclusions.
I've had a lot of thoughts the last couple of days, so I wanted to get it all out. Just my thoughts of course, but I don't think there's any real reason to freak out right now.
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I need more billford content from you! SO BADLY! I remember you mentioning that you’re working on some sequels. Can you give us like a sneak peek or do you have any writings you did of them? Or is there any fics that you read that you enjoy? It’s just you write them so well, it’s kinda hard to find other works similar to yours. Basically I’m STARVING
Hi lovely,
Your comment is so lovely I reread it a bunch before deciding to reply today with links and all the good stuff.
I have given the majority of the sequel sneak peaks I can afford to give yesterday, so we'll have to wait until KMKY is finished for more sequel goodness, I only caved yesterday bc it was my birthday and I love giving presents.
What I can do is link some old answers to various gravity falls writing prompts I've done before on my blog, and recommend some of my fanfics in other fandoms to tide you over.
I'm working as hard as I can to get the next chapter ready for you, so hopefully it will be ready after xmas or in early jan, and we literally have the roadside attraction chapter, Dipper and Mabel vs the Future and Weirdmageddon to go and then its the end of KMKY!
I'll be plotting and organising the timeline for ITBICD (It's The Best I Can Do or KMKY 2 electric boogaloo lmao) during this time too so hopefully I can launch straight into it after the final chapter of KMKY is posted!
So here are the links:
Shailesh and Jolene bounty hunter romance short
Fiddleford went home for thanksgiving, here's what Bill and Ford did
Down in the bunker Stanford sexperiments on Bill
Stanford psychoanalyses Bill with an old psychology textbook
For those who haven't read it yet, there was a uptilnow unpublished sex scene from KMKY that has recently gone up on AO3 here
Not from KMKY but an AU where Stanford becomes dependent on percepshrooms instead of Bill for his successes
A half baked Supernatural Billford AU bc I was a nerd haha
If you're keen to explore other fandom fics I've written, I have a murder mystery FMAB AU for folks who loved fullmetal alchemist that I'm pretty proud of.
For people who like the spooky side of Billford I have a half finished Magnus Archives AU fic too that sort of predicted the Jon in a computer part of The Magnus Protocol (I am cursed with the gift of prophecy)
For fanfic recommendations I haven't had the chance to read a lot of Billford fanfic since I tried not to read others fics while working on KMKY (there were a few notable exceptions, Theseus's Guide by @stump-not-found slaps (its fun, well paced and zany!) and I read Statement Abnegation (dark and gritty, not sure I was a fan of the ending since I like Ford to have more agency but for a dark fic it went places) since it was recommended to me. I also enjoyed A Postcard from New Mexico by roseverdict (an excellent concept and nice Stan brothers bonding) that I felt compelled to read)
If you don't mind other fandoms, I'll link my ao3 bookmarks of other stories I loved. There's a lot of batman, magnus archives, star trek, the locked tomb, miraculous ladybug, witcher, thor, rise of the guardians and homestuck (because we all had that phase, don't lie) and the list isn't very long, just some fics I like rereading there.
I hope this helps! I'm working hard on the next chapter so there will be more content for you soon, plus there's always a good reread as a backup option, and the wonders of maladaptive daydreaming haha!
If people want to add their own recommendations to this for fanfic recs please do in the reblogs!
#knowing me knowing you#kmky#billford#hopefully this helps#feel free to add your own recommendations to the list folks!#and now all the little offshoot extras are all in the same place#my writing
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The Bangtan Gal Chapter 94- MAMA Awards 2016 Part 1
Summary: BTS win their first Daesang! Tensions run high when Jen's friendship with Hyuna ends abruptly due to sneak dissing and a scrapped performance. BTS attends the Mama Awards making iconic moments that leave the world shooked.
Words: 13,000+
Genre: Big Jungkook Fluff. A little chaos never hurt anybody :)
Click here for PART 2 of this chapter
Author's note: OK the 3rd Muster chapter isn't done yet, I'll post that next since this was done. The 3rd Muster chapter is basically a filler chapter anyway. So once I come back from taking a smol break I will start writing that and then the following story chapter. This was done and I didn't want to keep it waiting. Kind of been anxious to release it.
As I addressed during the Bon Voyage season 1 chapter, this should be the last time I write about Hyuna. This idea came up recently and I rolled with it. My ideas changed a bit but I wanted this to just be chaotic af. I wanted to think outside the box and I like what I came up with. Again this smol girl ain't that much of a lyric writer but A for effort. Decided to combine the chapters and make it into the Mama Awards chapter.
I would like Jennie to always have a cool stage for the MAMA Awards. And have fun moments. It's only 2016 in the story and Jennie still has a lot of growing to do but I think this moment I have planned for this chapter is an interesting start to how she speaks up for herself. We got 2017, 18, 19, and the rest of the years for even more character development, wins and failures along the way for her.
Hope you enjoy it! I'd say Beyonce's 7/11 is the inspiration for her stage at MAMA. I love the song so much and the instrumental. Especially the Coachella version. Always a banger. I also loveeee Beyonce's laugh at the end of the Coachella version. So I had to add it for Jennie. It might just be her signature.
Whenever there are scenes with BlackPink and BTS' Jennie (My character), I'm going to keep BlackPink's Jennie as Jennie during the dialogue while BTS' Jennie will just be called Jen. Hope that won't be too confusing.
Throwback to this funny video when they won at MMA 2016. I remember this video like it was yesterday. Timeless. As I continue to write, I get a little emotional. It was so fun seeing all this in real time.
Again this chapter is split into two parts because I couldn't fit all of it in one post. So this is part one.
Have an awesome day! Super excited for Jin to return from enlistment! Not much longer now!
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'BREAKING! MAMA 2016 Collaboration with Cube's Hyuna and Big Hit's Jennie scrapped!'
Jennie frowned at the article as she sat by her desk in the Smartie Factory. It was crazy how things abruptly changed. Lately, Jennie and Hyuna weren't on speaking terms and issues have been occurring for a while.
It all started with the sneak dissing that Jennie had found out on her Tumblr. She loved scrolling through the tag of her name and came across a fairly popular post regarding Hyuna attending a few variety shows and interviews.
"Unlike the others, I don't need to repeatedly say I'm the best from head to toe. You already see it," made ARMY think about Jennie's War of Hormone lyrics.
"Some rookies can be a bit much. Some like to try to overshine a veteran,"
"Some girls in this industry are a bit too fragile. I don't need to call myself bulletproof,"
"You mean the original version of How's This,"
These were just a handful of statements said by Hyuna and ARMY immediately speculated she was throwing shade at Jennie.
'Uhhhh did Hyuna just sneak diss, Jennie? Am I freaking out over nothing? That bulletproof and glass line was SUS,' one comment said.
ARMY went on to do more research and they immediately figured out that there was some sort of animosity in Hyuna's words and it caused confusion in the fandom.
"The hell...?" Miss Bangtan murmured as she read about it and even saw her and Hyuna trending on Twitter.
Her stomach dropped and she felt hurt by the words. It confused her as to why she would say these things. Deciding to go straight to the source, she messaged Hyuna on KakaoTalk.
Jen: Ummmm what's going on sis? We got a problem or something? If so let's address it now. Call me when you're free
But hours later, still no reply. What officially solidified the fact that there was an issue was when Jennie facetimed Hayoon about it.
"I'm trying to contact her so we can settle this shit now instead of over the internet. But I haven't gotten a response. I don't know how this happened. I didn't even do anything. I know we haven't talked in a while, but damn,"
And that was when Hayoon informed her what was going on from what she heard. She and other people have been overhearing her talking about how upset she was that she would be sharing the stage with Jennie for How's This. She wanted to perform it alone and on top of that felt bothered by the fact that the duet music video with Jennie started to get way more views than the original video.
"I mean it got more views because ARMY loves to support every member of Bangtan. They were bound to have the views boost," Jennie exclaimed on Facetime while Hayoon nodded. "That's one of the amazing things about them. They watched that video for me and I'm grateful but damn, is it that deep? So, she doesn't want to share the stage with me and is feeling some type of the way that her original music video didn't have that many views? Ma'am, if that was a problem, instead of throwing shots, why not talk to me face to face and express yourself? All this childishness for what?"
"I know. It's ridiculous," Hayoon said with a frown. "I had to distance myself from her. I didn't like the things she was saying. And I even talked to her about it but she blew me off and said she didn't care,"
Jennie sighed and shook her head. "Annoying...thanks for telling me...wow...the switch up is crazy...I just don't understand,"
"Of course. Still no reply?"
Jennie went to check back on the app and scoffed. "Did this bitch block me?!"
"What?! No way!"
"Wowwww. So, it's like that? Okay. I can't even contact her anymore...this is making me start to have trust issues a little bit. Like we were so close. We would hang out and talk often...I trusted her with a lot of shit, too. I hope she doesn't spill anything personal. Because now I'm thinking about my relationship,"
"As much as I dislike her attitude, I don't think she'll spill anything especially when she is dating E'Dawn privately,"
"Yeah...I'm not going to air her dirty laundry and talk about how she got a rookie boyfriend and shit. That's unfair to E'dawn and his future career as an idol,"
"Agreed. No need to get him involved. I believe she won't involve Jungkook as well, so no need to worry,"
Jennie sighed. "When I see her at one of these award shows I'll confront her. This is ridiculous,"
"Some kind of girl's girl she is. So close to award season, too? She should not be trying to paint you as this bad person,"
"Yeah...I just don't know how long it's going to take for the public to understand how grimy she is,"
As the news of her performance with Hyuna wasn't happening anymore, Cube Entertainment and even Mnet made the excuse that they felt like Jennie was not ready to perform with Hyuna and was a bit difficult to work with. Which was a load of bull and lots of fans saw through the BS. However, Big Hit responded in defense of her saying that she was ready, was very easy to work with and it was their loss on the collaboration.
It warmed her heart to see the company come to her defense and say she would prove doubters wrong on BTS' stage at the MAMA Awards. Hearing the news that the collaboration was scrapped made her feel down since she had been so excited to perform with someone she looked up to for many years. G-Dragon's words still rang through her mind that not everyone is your friend in the industry and the switch ups are crazy.
Now back to reality, Jennie continued to sit by her desk, deep in thought about the situation. All she wanted to do was speak to her like an adult and squash whatever issue she had with her. But with her being blocked, it was clear she wanted nothing to do with Jennie.
It had been days since the first set of disses along with lyric changes to throw shots at her and the lack of response from Jennie had everyone talking.
People commented:
'Unbothered. I like that,'
'Hyuna cooked you!'
'Everything she said about Jennie was true,'
'Rookie! Hyuna is better than you!'
'So, are you going to respond to HyunA?'
'Damn, still no response?'
'Jennie is known for her impressive stage presence at MAMA. They could have been a powerful duo if egos didn't get in the way. Something ain't right,'
'LOL Hyuna won by default. She is taking forever to respond. Is she scared?'
'Get in the booth, Jennie. Or are you taking the L?'
'So, you just gonna let her talk shit about you like that?'
'Jennie doesn't have to respond to anything.'
'I hate how you guys are instigating this drama.'
'No response is a response, Jennie!'
'Does Miss Bangtan need her bulletproof boy scouts to help her with this one?'
'I bet Jennie is the problem. Because she and Hyuna were great friends. She must have done something wrong...'
'Time to stop hiding behind your boys, woman up and respond to your senior.'
'Respect queen Hyuna!'
'You should be lucky she even asked you to collaborate.'
'ARMY gets on my nerves. They like to spam and stream everything for bragging rights. That music video didn't deserve to get higher views than the OG!'
'Yikes...going after one of the chillest people in the K-Pop industry is not wise because if Jennie responds I bet not hear shit that she was disrespectful when Hyuna started this first. And don't try to say respect your seniors.'
'Y'all are a little too comfortable being rude to Jennie on her page...'
'Hyuna started it and Jen will finish it. Watch!'
'Hyuna is being a bit too bold running her mouth.'
'Of all people when you have Bangtan backing her? And other idols who are close friends with her? I don't understand the logic.'
'Hyuna is untouchable in the industry, no idols will come to her aid,'
'I doubt any idol will defend Jennie from Hyuna. She should handle this herself.'
'Bangtan shouldn't always have to fight her battles. She should handle this by herself,'
'Jennie handles business. She'll respond,'
Still, on social media, she saw herself getting tagged in a lot of Hyuna stuff. Come to find out she was still sneak dissing and her stans were eating it up and defending her. However, ARMY was not too happy about the abrupt attitude change and shade thrown at Miss Bangtan.
"Do you want me to say something?" Yoongi asked, who sat next to her, ready to defend her honor.
"Yoongi...no," she firmly said as she turned to him.
"The situation is so grimy. Like damn, the bitch can't share the stage with you on her song that she wanted you to be on in the first place? Why bother asking to collab?" Angelina spoke up, sitting on the couch with Namjoon. "Did she think it wasn't going to go well? She underestimated the power of ARMY's support and your talent as an artist. Those comments on that YouTube video were mainly about you, Jennie. You outshined her in the music video and she was mad about it and has been holding it in for a while. The bitch is jealous,"
"I'm just confused and thrown off by everything. Like I thought we were friends—"
"Well, she's not your friend," Angelina firmly cut Jennie off, getting upset about Hyuna. "A friend doesn't sneak diss. Fuck her,"
"Are you going to let her just bash your name like this in public?" Namjoon asked.
"She is South Korea's IT girl. Everyone loves her. And if I respond...I have a feeling I'll be public enemy number one. You know how the media is gonna twist this and make me the bad guy," Jennie reminded.
"Jen, I love your calmness. You know I'll be ready to fight somebody if someone did that to me. Diss tracks would already be on standby to release," Angelina added. "I wish I had your calmness, right now, as we speak. But stop being nice,"
"I'm not trying to be! I'm not! I'm not being nice, I'm trying to wrap my head around being blindsided! I'm getting annoyed, now..." she sighed out of frustration.
"Good. Write about it,"
"Listen, I shouldn't cause Bangtan any drama. Award season is coming up...I can't be taking the attention off of us at the award shows. I don't even want to be involved in this drama...why can't I just have some genuine celebrity friends, that won't get mad over petty shit, like this? I'm getting PTSD from Hailey and that took a while to heal from,"
"Munchkin, you're not causing drama for us," Hobi spoke up with his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, next to the couch. "I know you're thinking of the negatives but the positives outweigh it. You should respond,"
"And you know that people love you, too. She is not the only beloved K-Pop idol, in the world," Yoongi affirmed. "You've been making a positive name for yourself with us as BTS. ARMY and us will not stand for the slander. I want you to write about it all,"
"Turn this negative into a positive," Namjoon reminded.
"Diss track incoming?" Angelina smiled.
Jennie let the rappers' words sink in as she glanced at all of them. They had a point. She couldn't just let her bash her name like this out of nowhere. On top of that, she didn't want to hear anything about being respectful to her seniors when she was getting disrespected unprovoked. It bothered her when people think they can talk to younger people in any type of way. Respect should be a mutual thing.
"For now, don't bother engaging in the drama on social media. Don't respond to any of it online. Continue to go about your day like normal," Namjoon suggested.
"Yeah...okay. You're right. All of you," Jen replied. "I can't let her just get away with talking shit and not saying it directly to my face. Especially when she didn't even want to respond to my messages and blocked me. She needs to get checked,"
"Good. I'm looking forward to this," Hobi smiled.
"You and I both," Yoongi revealed his gummy smile.
Jennie chuckled and turned to Namjoon. "This reminds me a little bit of the Bobby situation and your diss at MAMA 2014. But yours was more of entertainment. Unlike this,"
The leader chuckled at that and nodded. "Yeah. Well, what are you going to do, now?"
"Handle it," she firmly responded and grabbed her notebook.
"Best news I've heard all day. Get writing," Angelina broke out into a big smile, as the others agreed.
"Mama Awards 2016. Speak your truth, there. Let's talk to the staff later about everything," Namjoon recommended.
"Okay," Jennie nodded, liking that idea. "I'll show you what I have when I'm done. Can I be alone, please? To work?"
The boys respected her decision and left her to work while Angelina stayed behind with Namjoon waiting for her outside the studio.
"Word of advice? Try the 8 Mile method. The stealing thunder strategy. You remember the movie and the final rap battle with Eminem?" Angelina asked as she got off the couch.
"Yeah. I've watched it a few times. That's not a bad idea. I'll work on it,"
"Good. Happy writing. Just make sure you eat, okay? Don't be stuck here, all day. I'll be with the others,"
"Don't worry, I'll take breaks. See you,"
After Angelina left, Jennie got started with writing. She also began going through her vault of music files she created over the years to pick which one to perform her rap with.
Rapping…kind of scary to think that this is what it would come to. Yoongi had been an amazing mentor. If Hobi could learn how to rap when he had no background in it, she could too. The amount of faith the rap line had in her to encourage her to respond to Hyuna in this way was a big deal. It was a deal that she could not mess up.
As she proceeded to work, her dog Tony slept quietly on the dog bed in the corner, tired out from playing around with the members a few hours earlier. Jennie occasionally glanced at the adorable dog with a smile while she worked. Miss Bangtan worked for hours, doing research, writing, and analyzing Hyuna's recent interviews regarding her. So engrossed in her work, she jumped slightly when she heard a series of knocks at her door.
"Who?" she asked out loud.
"Your Golden Boyfriend. Jeon Cena!"
"Enter my realm, my love," she smiled and turned her seat around to see him walking in with a few bags of food. "Hey!"
"Hi. I figured you were hungry so I bought food for us," he set the bags on the desk and grabbed a seat to sit next to her.
"It smells so good, thanks," she kissed him sweetly.
Getting a good look at her, he noticed she was wearing one of his hoodies which made him smile. The way it was oversized on her made her look even more cute.
"Any time. And your package of Smarties came. I grabbed a few bags so I can fill up your bowl,"
"You are the best!" she squealed happily and kissed him again before planting multiple kisses all over his cheek, making him giggle.
After he filled up the bowl, he gently grabbed her hand to stop her from reaching out to grab a few pieces.
"Ah-ah! What are you doing?" he called out.
"Helping myself to my smarties?"
"Nah. Food first. Let's eat,"
"What? Oh, come on. Babe, don't do that,"
"Food first. Smarties after," he released her hand.
"They're small, they're not going to spoil my stomach,"
"Food, honey," he grinned, opening the platter of chicken for them to eat. "Take a break,"
"Fine. I should take a break, anyway," she stretched and closed her notebook, placing it to the side. "Game of Thrones?"
"Yeah, we stopped at Season 5, right?"
"Hm hm. The first episode," she set everything up on one of her monitors.
"Hyung told us what you're working on. I'm glad you're going to go through with it. It's not fair,"
She smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah…I just wished she talked to me,"
"She'll realize the mistake she made when you respond. I'm looking forward to seeing what you say. You always have a way of showing off your craft during the MAMA Awards. ARMY will be in for a treat,"
"Thanks. I hope to do it justice. I've been thinking about a lot…especially with the new year coming up. I think my New Year's Resolution for 2017 is to…be more cautious of who I trust and who I open up to. To see my childhood friends again when we go on tour and write songs in a more positive light. I think that'll be a pretty good start,"
He leaned over to kiss the side of her head. "I like that. That is a good start,"
---------
The day of the Melon Music Awards was finally here and backstage was lively as everyone went through rehearsals. Jen was excited to see familiar faces again as she strolled backstage. She let out a deep breath when she finally saw Hyuna who had finished talking with a staff member. Jen had been seeing her all day but whenever she'd get close, Hyuna would rush off.
Not anymore.
As Jen approached her, she knew people were watching her every move, wondering what might happen. Keeping her head up high, she finally came face to face with her.
"You got something to say to me?" Jen questioned as she looked at her with a frown.
Hyuna looked a little surprised and took a step back.
"Nothing at all," she replied with a fake smile.
"Are we going to talk like adults or are you gonna run, again? Where's that energy when you were taking shots at me on that variety show?" she asked and tilted her head to the side when she didn't reply. "If you don't want to be friends anymore, that's cool. I don't care. But I don't appreciate you going out of your way to talk shit about me and lying on my name. Blocking me so we can't speak on the phone? That is mad corny,"
"Jennie, you're causing a scene," she brought up as noticeably more people were being nosy and watching the confrontation.
"I do not care, stop trying to change the subject. What is with you throwing shade like ARMY and I wouldn't notice? Even talking about how difficult I am to work with? The fuck? Do we have a problem?"
"Do we?"
It took all the strength Jen had to not pop her in the head right then and there with the way she sarcastically responded. Hyuna was playing games and it was getting harder for Jen not to put her hands on her. MAMA Awards couldn't come fast enough.
"Keep my name out of your mouth. I'm not telling you again. Are we clear?" Jen demanded with a glare.
"Crystal."
After walking away and calming down, Jen informed the members about the nonsense. It annoyed them with the way Hyuna responded and highly anticipated Jen's performance at the MAMA Awards to set her straight. It was going to be worth the wait.
As the show was about to start, Jen went to the women's bathroom and as she came out to wash her hands, she saw BlackPink primping in the mirror and talking amongst themselves about how excited they were for the show.
Jennie gasped in happiness and turned around with a bright smile. "Hi! Oh my gosh, we've been looking for you!"
The sudden burst of excitement surprised Jen as she stood by the four girls who were happily smiling after she dried her hands. Once it officially registered that she was in front of BlackPink, Jen grinned widely.
"Hey! You're BlackPink! Wow! Hi! Oh my gosh, wow, y'all look so beautiful!"
"So do you!" Jisoo beamed as they all bowed.
"Hi, I'm Jennie. Jennie Walker," Jen introduced herself.
"Nice name. Hi, I'm Jennie. Jennie Kim," Jennie giggled with her and held her hands.
"Thank you. Nice name!"
"Thanks! It's nice to catch you before the show. It's really nice to meet you,"
"It's nice to meet you, girls, too!"
"Hi~! I'm Rosé!"
"I'm Lisa!"
"And I'm Jisoo!"
After releasing Jennie's hands, Jen spoke, "You girls are amazing! It's great watching you ladies thrive. I love your songs and I can't wait to see you perform, tonight,"
"Thank you! We've seen your dance videos of our songs. You perform it so well. Maybe you should be the fifth member," Jisoo giggled.
"I'd love to but Bangtan would be upset," she teased, as the girls laughed.
They were all so sweet. Their friendly energy matched so well with Jen's as they all vibed and immersed themselves in bathroom girl talk. As Jen had her eyes on Jisoo, she pointed out that her beauty was on a whole new level. Photos and videos didn't do her justice.
"Can we hug? Are you ladies ok with that? I'm like such a hugger these days but I like to ask before touching," Jen asked kindly.
"Of course!" Lisa beamed and went right in to embrace her with the rest of the girls.
"Are you ladies excited for tonight?" Jen asked.
"Nervous! But very excited. It should be a fun show. The dress rehearsal went well," Rosé replied.
"You ladies are gonna kill it. Have fun with it! Go out there and show them that BlackPink ain't playing around,"
Jen's encouragement seemed to have pumped them up as they smiled brightly and thanked her.
"You're close with Bam Bam, right? He's one of my good friends," Lisa spoke up.
"Yeah! I love him! He's the best and one of the funniest guys ever. He's a piece of work, huh?" Jen chuckled.
"He is! I hope we can all hang out sometime,"
"Yeah, I'd love that. We have a 97 Liner group chat we can add you and Rosé in! We're trying to see when we can have another get together. Even if it's just a handful of us. I have the WINGS tour coming up so it'll probably be a long while until Jungkook and I can participate in any hangouts. But we'll be there in spirit if the group plans something in our absence,"
"Being in the group chat sounds like fun. It'll be nice to get to know the others who were born in the same year. You'll introduce us?" Rosé asked.
"Yeah! I got you! You have to meet Hayoon. She is one of the sweetest girls you'll ever meet. So down to earth. She can be a little shy but give her some time and she'll open up to you. When you see her show off her real personality she gets very intense when playing games. Especially card games,"
Lisa and Rosé giggled at that.
"G-Dragon speaks highly of you. I always see him at YG and when we catch up he always brings you up," Jennie added.
"He talks about me to you?" Jen's eyes lit up.
Jen remembered that Jennie worked with G-Dragon before, being in one of his music videos. And Rosé even worked with him, on a song. It made her heart soar that he spoke highly of her. She hoped that one day she could collaborate with him as well. They brought it up a few times but she wanted to continue to improve her craft as an artist before working with him on music. She wanted to be at her best to sing with someone as legendary as him.
"Yeah! He told us he took you under his wing. I remember him saying how determined you looked when you approached him at K-Con. He admired your drive to take action. The way you did not hesitate to ask for advice on how to be a better performer. He also told us you are someone he trusts and that you are authentic," Rosé added.
"Wow...I am honored, my gosh," Jen let out a breath and placed her hands over her heart.
"Can I just say I love the move that you do with Jungkook during Blood, Sweat and Tears!? That flip and spin? It's so good!" Lisa said excitedly. "I want to try to do it during a dance practice but your chemistry with him is something that cannot be duplicated. I've studied dance covers of your little duet and it's clear that the move was meant for you two. I admire your passion when dancing,"
"Aw really? Thank you! I admire your passion for dancing, too! You be killing it on stage! You move with such grace and power, I get blown away every time, girl. I need to learn a thing or two from you,"
"We should practice together, sometime!"
"I'd be down!"
Their conversation was cut short when they heard an announcement that the show was about to begin.
"Before we go to our seats, can we take a selfie?" Jisoo suggested.
"Yeah! Let's do it!" Jen cheered.
Jisoo took out her phone and held the camera up high while the girls crowded around Jen. With all of their face cards on point, the selfie turned out beautifully as they posed with peace signs, kissy faces, and bright smiles.
"Oh, we cute, cute! Send this to me!" Miss Bangtan requested.
After exchanging numbers with the girls, the five of them went to their seats with fansites filming and noticing them together. Seeing the sight made ArmyBlinks excited that they finally met and hoped they take pictures.
---------
As the show began, Jennie sat with Bangtan as the camera occasionally caught her exciting reactions which would make Armies cheer. Jennie happily cheered and lip synced Blackpink's lyrics with fans noticing how Rosé biased she was.
When it was time for Bangtan to perform BST, audience members and idols anticipated JenKook's signature move but they didn't perform it this time and did different choreography. The disappointment was evident on some idols' faces as they whispered amongst themselves about them not doing their move as well as fans.
"No~! I wanted to see the spin," Lisa whined. "Why didn't they do the spin?"
"I know! I wonder why they decided to change the choreography," Jisoo pouted.
"Damn, no spin?" Zico wondered.
"Darn, they didn't do it? What changed?" Kai wondered with EXO.
Fans tweet:
'Are you fucking serious!? Jennie and Jungkook wtf!? I am PISSED!'
'JenKook y'all had ONE JOB!! ONE!! We wanted the spin!'
'I know these damn babies did not skip their highly anticipated dance move of BST,'
'I stayed up all night only for them not to do the spin!? Big Hit, I'm about to sue! Count your MF days!'
'Who scrapped the spin!? I wanna fight! #BringBackTheSpin'
'LISTEN!! If it ain't broke don't fix it! Nothing and I mean NOTHING needed to be changed in JenKook's duet. Keep it like it is! It was perfect! #BringBackTheSpin'
Backstage after their performance, Jungkook laughed at the flooded tweets from Armies and other fans. They all were complaining about them not doing the dance move and it surprised him to see how much viewers enjoyed the unique move. The couple wanted to do something a little different for the Melon Music Awards but clearly, their decision did not sit well with everyone which amused them.
Jungkook tweeted for damage control, 'Ah...we didn't do the spin this time. Sorry ARMY. We will do it next time,'
Immediately fans replied:
'Y'all better! That move is generational!'
'What were y'all thinking switching it up!? We better get nothing but sexiness the next time y'all do it! I am so serious!'
'Bullying works guys!!'
'Y'all know better!'
'OH ARD! That's what I thought. You two better raise the bar next time!'
'GOOD! It better be sexy af the next time you two perform it! I need my JenKook crumbs!'
'I hope the next time they do the move they take it up a notch. Their chemistry has me glued to my screen!'
'THANK YOU!!'
As the show was drawing to a close, she sat in between Yoongi and Taehyung while they watched the presenters call the nominees for album of the year. In Jennie's mind, she assumed EXO was going to win it. EXO had been powerhouses for their albums and the big 3, JYP, SM, and YG always swept these big awards. However, it was an honor to even be nominated in the category for The Most Beautiful Moment In Life: Young Forever album.
She sat, relaxed, already ready to applaud EXO for winning the award as she waited for the presenter to say it.
"2016 Melon Music Award Best Album of the Year goes to...BTS!"
The sound of the group's name caused Bangtan to widen their eyes, looking at each other in utter disbelief.
Did they REALLY just call BTS the album of the year winners!? WHAT!?
Idols around them stood up, equally surprised that a group not from the big 3 won the award as they applauded them. GFriend cheered happily, bouncing up and down as Hayoon yelled cheerfully for Jennie. Namjoon immediately stood up, stunned by the announcement.
"Oh s—" Hobi shouted in shock.
Jennie sat in her seat dumbfounded as she looked around, glancing at the members who equally had the same shocked expression.
"What the f—" she stopped herself as she covered her mouth, trying to process the news that Bangtan had just won their first Daesang.
Daesang...they won a Daesang!
"We won? We won!?" she slowly stood up once the rest of the boys did.
Armies around the venue cheered and screamed as they waved their ARMY bombs in celebration.
"Ahhhh Jennie looks so surprised!" Hayoon giggled to her group before quickly rushing over to embrace her.
It started to become a tradition for these two to find each other to hug, high five, or do something whenever they won an award. Hayoon grabbed her hands and jumped up and down excitedly with her.
"BTS did it! BTS won! I'm so happy for you!" she beamed, pulling her in for another tight hug.
"Holy shit, what the hell is happening!? Is this real!?" Jennie exclaimed, hugging her tightly.
"Yes! Go up there!" she laughed and lightly pushed her forward after pulling away.
Jennie adjusted herself and began walking up to the stage with the rest of the group as they bowed to everyone. She walked with Hobi and Suga as a bright smile came across her beautiful face, feeling her heart pound. As they made it to the stage with Namjoon holding the award, she stood in between Jin and Hobi.
"ARMY! Thank you!" Namjoon shouted on the mic with a big smile as he tried to control his overwhelming emotions.
Seeing Jin start to cry made Jennie begin to rub his back to comfort him. She did her best not to cry herself as she soaked in this moment with the boys. Noticing Hobi looking like he was about to cry, she went to rub his back too, comforting him.
"We have received the best award since our debut here at the Melon Awards. Bang Sihyuk PD-nim, Big Hit Entertainment, parents and friends who have helped us, I want to thank them again and ARMYs, I love you! ARMY, I LOVE YOU!" Namjoon shouted with elation.
After he finished his speech, the members all went in for a big group hug. They all had big smiles on their faces, feeling euphoric from this victory. When they make it backstage, they are still stunned and thrilled that they won the award with a Bangtan Bomb camera filming them.
"Wow really...wow," Namjoon spoke, still processing everything.
"I was so surprised," Jungkook said on camera.
"We weren't anticipating it. We really weren't expecting it. We weren't even expecting it one bit,"
"Thank you so so much. We were so shocked,"
"We won! We won~! I still can't believe it!" Jennie squealed and shook the camera. "Thank you so much!"
Noticing Hobi's tears running down his cheeks with the foundation running down too, Jennie embraced him tightly while the camera filmed them.
"I know...I know..." she murmured. "I'm so proud of us,"
"Army, thank you so much!" Jin said on camera with his tear stained face while Jennie released Hobi. "Thank you, Army! Thank you, Army!"
"Bring it in," she outstretched her arms for Jin and he immediately kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly.
"She gives the best hugs," he told the camera.
After they returned to their seats, Jennie sat in between Hobi and Jin to continue to watch the show while pulling themselves together. As EXO closed the show, she watched their performance in admiration.
"I wonder what it would be like to close an award show," Jennie wondered out loud with a smile.
Jin listened and began to speak as she looked up at him. "I believe that one day we will get the opportunity. If we can get this Daesang then this is just a step forward in achieving more as a group,"
"Yeah. We will, for sure,"
After the show, they took photos with the trophy and hugged the staff members as they continued to celebrate. Once Angelina found Jennie, she ran and jumped on her, making them both fall to the floor as they laughed.
"Ah~! I am so proud of you! BTS did it! BTS won album of the year!" she began giving Jennie multiple kisses all over her face as she continued to laugh.
After they got up, they embraced tightly, getting emotional.
"Wow, look at you! Thriving in BTS! That album deserved album of the year! It has bangers on top of bangers. This is your motherfuckin' moment, sis! Enjoy it!"
"Thank you! And thank you for being here to support us," Jen murmured against her shoulder.
"You know I'm always going to be there for you just like you are with me. You're stuck with me for life, sis. This win is only the beginning. Watch Bangtan soar to new heights after this! You better enjoy the damn ride, it's gonna be a fun one!"
After pulling away, Angelina wiped Jennie's tears.
"I'm not gonna lie, I thought EXO was gonna win it. When they said BTS I was like what!?" Jen continued to ramble as the camera person for the Bangtan bomb began to film the other members to get their thoughts.
Later on, Jennie sat down on a chair and took in some deep breaths to pull herself together while Jin and Jimin rubbed her back.
"I'm okay...I'm alright...wow...this feels like a dream. This feels like a freaking dream," she sighed.
She shook her head and started praying, thanking the Lord for this moment as emotions came over her again. Tears ran down her cheeks as she whispered to herself, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
After she was done praying, she looked up and smiled at the guys when they all went to comfort her. "We did it. We really did it. This is amazing. Wow...over the big frickin' 3!? Blessed! I am so proud of us! Thank you. All of you for making this experience so fun and rewarding,"
"Your family is on the line!" Angelina beamed and handed Jen her phone to reveal her parents and sisters on facetime.
It was wholesome hearing them scream and cheer for Bangtan. The boys even jumped in to say hello and thanked them for their support.
"Ok now that we got the celebrations out of the way, why in the hell didn't you and Jungkook do the spin!?" Jennie's mom complained causing Bangtan and Angelina to laugh.
"Yeah! We were looking forward to it!" Alani frowned.
"You guys need a redo! ASAP!" Vienna added.
"I admit I was looking forward to seeing it and felt my world crashing down when it didn't happen," Jennie's dad spoke up.
"You are so dramatic!" Jennie laughed. "Not you all mad we didn't do this spin, tonight,"
"We'll do it next time," Jungkook grinned. "We promise!"
"You two better. I'll be watching," Jennie's dad pointed at them.
--------------
Days later, Namjoon was in his studio doing a V-Live to catch up with ARMY. As the live went on with fun and engaging moments, he then started to talk about Jennie. A proud smile appeared on his face as he thought of her.
"Jennie is the best. She has been improving a lot behind the scenes and continues to keep a good head on her shoulders. When I first saw her, I was watching the audition for the Bangtan Girl for BTS. She stood out to me because of her outfit choice." He chuckled. "She looked like she was going to wreck someone. I had my head down, so I would listen closely to each person's lyrics created for bulletproof, while V was next to me. As soon as I heard her verse, I had to look up. I know she was probably a bit stressed getting hit with a bombshell of creating a verse for the song over a weekend and presenting it on a Monday but she made it work and she impressed me. When I met her, I thought she was very determined and cute. She's like a little sister to me. And I feel like a proud big brother watching her improve every day in her skills. Ah...I'm getting too personal, am I? Sorry,"
His eyes scanned the comments flowing in.
'Awwww keep going, it's okay! This is so cute!'
'NamJen forever! Best bond in Bangtan!'
'Awwwww he looks like a proud big brother!'
'Thank you for always taking care of Jennie!'
'My baby Jennie and the best leader Namjoon! Thank you for being there for her!'
'Thank you for being a great leader to her!'
"I just want to be the best leader for her. And I want to be that strength she needs to keep pushing forward. She has improved so much over the years. She was so timid when it came to filming music videos, but after filming videos like Dope, Fire, and Blood, Sweat & Tears, I've seen her confidence and charisma grow. I may not understand what it's like to move and work in another country like she did but she has really opened up and become more comfortable here. She's fully adjusting to South Korea. And I'm very proud of her. All of Bangtan is,"
As he continued his live, someone knocked on his door and he turned around. Announcing the person to come in, Jennie strolled in with a bright smile and a plate of cookies.
"Hey! Here, I just made them. I'm going around delivering cookies before working in my studio,"
"For me!? Really!? Oh, this is a great surprise. I'll help myself to these now," he thanked her and took the plate to place on his desk. "You need to open up a bakery,"
"I want to! I wouldn't mind going to culinary school or something. I'd love to make my own business and open up a bakery, one day. We'll see what the future holds. Oh, you on live? Hey, ARMY! I miss you, guys! How are ya?" She waved and read the comments.
'Jennie!!'
'Hi, mom!'
'She baked again!!'
'Jennie, I love you!'
'Do the spin with Jungkook!'
'Do the move with Kookie!'
'JenKook spin for MAMA!'
'JenKook move!'
'Why didn't you do the move at Melon!?'
'Ma'am we want answers about Melon! What happened to the spin!?'
"Yo...." she began to laugh out loud at the comments. "Not y'all roasting me again for not doing the spin. It's been a week! Is it that serious? Oh my gosh,"
Namjoon started to laugh at the comments too, amused that this has become such a big deal in the fandom. When he heard even idols were asking about the spin, it was clear that JenKook had a chokehold in the industry with their strong chemistry.
"ARMY has been a little upset about that," he brought up.
"A little? They spamming my Instagram, too. I didn't think it was going to cause this much of a fuss. You guys really like our signature move?"
Comments rushed in:
'DUH!'
'The way you two dance together are goals!'
'YES GIRL!'
'I can't with her lmfao.'
"Look forward to MAMA, okay? I gotta go but cheer us on at MAMA. Everything will be worth the wait. See ya!" she beamed and left.
----------
The day of the MAMA Awards was finally here. The day Jennie anticipated the most. She had a good feeling about this show and was excited to show off her hard work with what she had planned. The morning of the show, she decided to tweet one simple word along with an eyebrow raising hashtag.
'Bet. #GonBeAnInteresting24Hours #Jen'
Jennie had been a trending topic on Naver and various K-Pop news outlets, which caused people to anticipate the MAMA Awards even more to see what might happen and if she may respond to Hyuna. Her silence on the matter had been a hot topic and now with her tweet going viral, fans stirred in a frenzy.
People tweeted:
'Uh oh!'
'Woke up and chose violence I see. Now I have to stay up and tune in. What time does the show start again EST time??'
'She broke her silence!'
'She's about to get her lick back!'
'Hyuna has not realized what she had done and is about to face the consequences,'
'Aw, shit...'
'She is about to piss people off and I'm going to love every second of it,'
'No matter what happens and no matter what you do, we will always love you, Jennie!'
'You about to respond!?'
'Hyuna is attending the show, too!! Uh oh....'
'Guys...I think something big is about to happen. Bigger than what we may think. Something is gonna go down tonight,'
'I'm so scared for tonight. Jennie, what are you about to do?'
Already in her short ruffled white dress, her hair was put up in a bun with hair on the side as she sat to get her makeup done. She also wore a small daisy pin for good luck thanks to G-Dragon gifting it to her on her birthday.
"Jen, what can viewers anticipate from you, tonight?" J-Hope asked with a grin as he was getting filmed for their MAMA 2016 Bangtan Bomb.
Glancing up, she smiled. "Expect the unexpected,"
-----
As the members got out of the car for the Red Carpet, they were met with loud screams, photography, and cheers with the MCs announcing their arrival. Jimin held out his hand for Jennie to take and he aided her out of the car.
"Thanks, Chim," she smiled warmly.
It was awesome to see international fans travel to the MAMA Awards. She tried to wave and make eye contact with every fan she could. Peeping some of her fansites made her heart soar. The dedication they had for her did not go unnoticed. Miss Bangtan heard her name get shouted, making her turn to who it was as the fan giggled excitedly and waved. She waved back and grinned as the fan was happy to have caught the moment on their phone.
The group proceeded to walk and made it to where the MCs were, standing on the stage.
"It's BTS, who are taking the world by storm, that is entering, right now. They're a group with perfect performances and won an award for producing their own albums,"
No matter what, Jennie didn't think she'd get used to all the screaming and cheering. It was like each event they attended, the screams got louder and she came to realize Bangtan was really moving up. It was a beautiful thing.
As Jungkook walked closely behind her, he caught a whiff of her perfume. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, smiling softly, enjoying the scent.
"You smell nice," he murmured, opening his eyes.
She glanced back at him and smiled. "Thank you. Hayoon got me some new perfume for my birthday. I like it,"
"I like it, too. You should keep wearing it,"
"I will,"
She stood in between Jimin and Jungkook as the group did their greeting and struck a pose just for the fans.
"Today since we are here at MAMA, we personally would like to hear some good news," Namjoon said on the mic.
"We are just one month away from 2017. Can we ask what plans you have?" The MCs asked.
"We're planning a fanmeet in Japan," Jin answered. "And we're working hard on music production so please look forward to it,"
Just a short while away before the show began with idols heading to their seats, Hyuna made her way to the stage and sat in her seat which was front row. There was tension in the air as anticipation filled to what Jennie might do as a response. Everyone was interested to see how this was going to go and idols were living for the drama. Gossip went all around the idols as they had private discussions on what might happen and who might win this.
"Where is Miss Bangtan?" Chanyeol wondered as he looked around, seeing that she wasn't sitting with the rest of BTS.
"Probably still getting ready?" Sehun assumed.
"I just want to see what she has planned tonight. Hyuna is already seated," he pointed out.
With Jennie, being the social butterfly and eager to meet her favs, she had strolled backstage to find the three men she wanted to meet. First up was Timbaland. He had been invited to perform with Eric Nam and to receive an award. Timbaland had worked with so many artists and was one of the many inspirations to her. She still believed he, Nelly Furtado, and Justin Timberlake were one of the best trios ever in music. They mixed so well.
He was so chill in person and they took a few photos. He even looked pleased to see a black woman here as she thanked him for all his work. Perhaps one day she'll get a chance to work with him. She shared that she DJs and has been making songs for herself that are not quite ready to be released. He encouraged her to keep at it and gave her advice on making music which she took to heart, feeling grateful for his words. One day she will share her passions with ARMY.
Meeting Wiz Khalifa was a fun experience, with them sharing a hug and him having a big grin on his face. She expressed her admiration for his song with Charlie Puth and that she couldn't wait to see him perform tonight.
Meeting THE Quincy Jones had her starstruck. One of the greatest music producers of all time was in front of her as they shook hands. Her face warmed when he called her gorgeous and it was sweet of him to take time to talk to her. He listened to her talk about making music and he gave her lots of words of wisdom on creating.
She could listen to Quincy talk all day. He had a way with words that made her feel like she could do anything her creative mind envisioned when producing. But what stuck out to her the most was when he told her some of the best advice he had gotten.
"Your music will never be more or less than you are a human being,"
And it stuck with her. Being an idol is exhausting at times but she loved the work and the way it paid off. She wanted to remain happy. She wanted to continue to thrive with Bangtan and enjoy life. She wanted to speak her truth. She had to be vulnerable tonight when she got on that stage for her solo. She truly needed to dig down deep tonight when responding to Hyuna.
After tonight, she wanted to remove all negative thoughts and move forward with everything. And to take a break from social media. A break from social media was needed. Breaks were good and she could always see it assisting her mentally.
After speaking to these men, she felt a fire light in her and felt even more musically inspired. She posted the photos on Twitter with the caption, 'An honor to meet these amazing & talented black men! Night has been made! Thank you for your kindness and words of wisdom! #Jen'
After going to the bathroom, Jennie made her way to the stage, earning loud cheers from fans when they saw her. She smiled and waved, heading over to where Bangtan was sitting. She ignored Hyuna's presence as she walked past her and acknowledged her idol friends sitting around. Fansites filming her caught some reactions of some idols watching her in awe, admiring her look for the night as she took a seat next to Jungkook at the end.
"Welcome back!" Jungkook grinned.
"Yeah, glad to see you smiling, brighter. Did something happen?" Hobi asked.
"Thanks! And yeah, I got to meet Wiz, Timbaland and Quincy Jones! My heart was racing a bit! They were awesome! I took photos with them. You'll see on our Twitter," she beamed.
The members were surprised and happy as she talked about the interactions she had with each of them. They could tell she was creatively moved by their words of wisdom. Soon after, the boys were all immersed in their own conversations while Jennie tried to adjust her bracelet which was put on a bit too tightly. She accidentally dropped the bracelet and both her and Jungkook aimed to kneel to grab it.
"Thanks, I got it," she glanced at him with a smile, grabbing it first as they both rose, still sitting quite close.
Jungkook got caught in 4K with the way he kept his eyes on her while her focus was on the stage and audience members as the show was preparing to start soon. The way he glanced at her up and down as a small smile came across his face with his lingering gaze did not go unnoticed with fan sites filming them.
Feeling his eyes on her, she turned and looked at him up and down, with them both occasionally glancing at each other's lips. Then they began to smile as she found herself getting lost in his blue contact colored eyes.
No wonder things felt like something was missing. The two of them realized they hadn't kissed each other all day. They'd been so busy preparing for the show and making sure their dances were fine that they didn't even get a chance to share one kiss today.
"Do you two need to be separated?" Yoongi asked teasingly while covering his mouth to avoid getting his lips read by fans watching them. This became a reoccurring thing to cover their mouths so they could speak more freely at these shows.
Jimin and Taehyung started laughing since they had been watching the couple this whole time.
"They haven't kissed at all, today. Jungkook might just go feral," Jimin giggled.
"Yeah, you two need to be separated," Yoongi advised with an amused smirk, making the 95 Liners laugh again.
"We really don't," Jen replied. "We'll be on our best behavior,"
"Are you sure? You two are distracted by each other," Taehyung teased.
"Do you remember where we are?" Jimin added to the teasing.
"Did we fail to mention we caught Jungkook's pleased expression when smelling her new perfume? He can't get enough,"
"Hyung!" Jungkook glared, feeling his face warm.
"We've moved to you two enjoying each other's smells and scents you use? You two need to relax," Hobi laughed.
"Oh my God, can you leave us alone and stop watching us?" Jennie exclaimed, feeling her face flushed.
"Should I be concerned?" Jin asked, listening to the conversation. "Maybe you two should switch seats,"
"Seriously?" Jungkook frowned.
"We'll be on our best behavior, Jin," Jennie reassured.
"Are you sure? Because I do not believe that,"
"Neither do I," Namjoon spoke up with a light laugh.
"You guys are exaggerating!" Jennie exclaimed.
"This time, I don't think we are," Jin chuckled and let out a sigh, already knowing they were going to drive him nuts tonight. "Just please try to behave yourselves and stay professional tonight,"
"Sir, yes, sir!"
Once the show began, Jennie jumped for joy and found herself getting emotional when IOI won Best New Female Artist. Cameras caught her looking proud and ecstatic for the girls with her eyes getting watery.
When GFriend and Seventeen performed for their collaboration, Hayoon was paired up with Vernon. The synchronization of the two groups blew Jennie's mind as she had her jaw dropped at their dancing. When Gallant performed, she smiled over at Taehyung since he was a big fan and cheered loudly with him, overjoyed with his performance.
As Baekhyun and Suzy performed Dream, Jen watched him, mesmerized as the camera caught her singing along to his parts. The members would glance over and smile at her being so into the song, knowing how much she adored him. It caught a lot of attention from Exols and ever since Jennie started meeting the EXO members, Exols took a liking to her. They loved how vocal she was about her admiration for the group and how highly she spoke of them. The EXO members would always have nothing but good things to say about her and enjoyed their sweet moments together. Armies and Exols wondered if they'd share another moment tonight.
Later, Bangtan managed to win Best Dance Performance. However, Jin and Taehyung weren't with them when they announced them as the winners, causing Jennie to laugh. They were probably in the bathroom. Nonetheless, she stood up with the rest of the boys, bowing and thanking everyone with big smiles.
"Yeah! Go, Jennie! Congrats guys!" Bam Bam shouted and approached them with Yugyeom.
The two Got7 members high fived her, Suga, and Jimin before they went up to the stage. Rapmon gave the award to Hobi and stood behind him so he could do the acceptance speech. Jennie smiled proudly as she stood next to him and listened to him speak.
"Wow! Thank you so much for such a huge award," Hobi said on the mic. "And since it's the best performance award for us, there is a larger meaning behind it. Thank you so much. And to the ARMYs who are always supporting us, thank you so much. And I would like to thank Teacher Son Seung Deuk who created this best performance,"
Jennie chuckled once Taehyung and Jin rushed on stage to join them. They both gave her a look as the three of them tried not to burst out in laughter. The trio smiled at one another while Jin placed his hands on Jungkook and Rapmon's shoulders, smiling at them.
"Thank you so much!" Hobi ended his speech, earning loud cheers.
"Thank you, ARMY!" Suga shouted.
"I love you!" Jin added with Taehyung and blew a flying kiss.
----------
As Zico performed Boys and Girls, Jen sat in between Hobi and Taehyung, vibing and doing the choreography. Once he made his way over to where Bangtan was sitting, the members danced in their seats while he took a seat near Rapmon on the arm of the couch. When Bermuda Triangle came on, she stood up with Hobi and Taehyung, getting hyped as they watched Dean and Zico back on the main stage.
"This is my shit!" she started dancing and vibing to Dean, singing along with Hobi and Taehyung.
Don't let 'em in, let 'em in
Get out my zone
We, we, we never know
We, we, we never talk
'Cause we, we, we criminal
Don't let 'em in, let 'em in
Get out my zone
She laughed out loud when Taehyung began dabbing and she followed his movements, making him happy. Once Zico summoned Crush, Jennie immediately turned and locked eyes with Jungkook who was still sitting as they pointed to each other and lip synced his verse.
Nuul jaril jedaero bogo nuwoyaji
Y'all fake bitches tryna act like me
Anjaseo meongman ttaeryeodo nae sopa wie (ssodajineun)
Mula, mula, we gon' pour up
Murder, murder, sumeul jungnyeo
Sangkwaehae ne meori wie gonggi
Nobody can't come over here
Dean, Crush, and Zico killed it on stage, hyping up the crowd. It was one of her favorite performances of the night. Later on, Jen switched seats again and found herself sitting at the end with Jungkook. She grinned as the next act consisted of a collaboration between Got 7, Monsta X, and NCT 127.
Get it lifted
As soon as NCT's Firetruck began to play, Jennie began nodding her head to the beat, enjoying the song. This song was a banger and one of her absolute favorites.
"Firetruck," she mouthed, beginning to lip sync the song while dancing in her seat.
"Ey, yea, yea, yea, yea!" She fan chanted with the audience and Jungkook.
The camera showed Jennie and Jungkook both on the screen as loud cheers occurred and they looked at the camera, headbanging. Bangtan giggled at their enthusiasm and so did some other idols who peeped them on screen.
Fans tweet:
'Why they matching each other's energy so loudly?'
'Their face cards!'
'They're making the same facial expression, so cute'
'JenKook!!'
'I think she does a little bit too much at these award shows. Just sit and enjoy the show, not all the excessive dancing, taking attention from the artists on stage,'
'These two are so beautiful. Wow!'
'Lmfaoooo they are a mood!'
'I'm really happy Mnet is showing Jennie on screen. Her reactions are always so lively instead of others just sitting there,'
'I love how excited she gets about all these groups. Still a K-Pop fan at heart. I'm happy she still reacts this way at shows,'
After NCT performed, Jennie cheered on Jooheon who rapped with Taeyong. His flow and attitude were amazing and she paid close attention to how he performed. Once Monsta X began to perform Fighter, she ended up cheering for Wonho when he was shown singing. She passionately sang his lines while fans had tweeted how Wonho biased she was. After their performance, it was time for Got7 as they performed Hard Carry with her dancing along.
As the show went on, she was proud to see Seventeen win the World Performer Award as she was the first to stand and applaud. Seeing The8 made her smile widely and wave as he waved back.
"Gosh, I hope one day I'm chosen to present an award at one of these shows. It would be fun," Jennie thought out loud.
When the presenters began to announce the nominees for best female vocal performance, Jennie jumped in her seat and cheered loudly when Ailee was shown on the screen. Bangtan glanced at her with knowing smiles, loving her excitement for the woman she had admired for years.
Once Ailee was announced as the winner, she applauded, jumping up and down, excitedly. Just before going up to the stage, Ailee caught a glimpse of Jen and smiled widely, waving at her. When she gave her acceptance speech, the camera caught Jennie watching her with admiration. The angle of where Jennie was filmed caused Twitter to geek over how beautiful her face card was and point out the love in her eyes as she watched Ailee.
With the show getting ready for the next segment, Jennie suddenly received a few packs of smarties from Jungkook.
"How'd you know I was about to ask?" she happily accepted them with surprise in her voice.
"I brought some with me just in case. I was paying attention to your facial expression. When you're about to ask for smarties or say that you wish you had them, you make this cute face. It's like you're pouting,"
"What? I was not pouting..." She turned away, feeling her face warm as he giggled.
"You just did it again,"
"Stop looking at me," she playfully pushed him away, making him laugh harder.
Lately, with the members, her smarties are always on standby. Over the years of getting to know her, they started to understand and know exactly when she wanted the candy and managed to always hand them to her before she opened her mouth to ask.
"Still, thank you," she added and began eating them.
As she ate her smarties, she ended up tossing them up in the air to catch and eat. Wanting to challenge her, Jungkook decided to do it too with his pack of smarties to see who could catch more in their mouths. In the end, Jungkook won as he grinned victoriously while Jennie caught any smarties that she missed from her mouth with her fast hands.
Rule Number One: Do NOT waste Smarties
Next up on the show was Twice and IOI performing. Jennie looked and felt like a proud mom watching IOI perform Pick Me. Fansites caught her entire reaction to the girls performing and thought it was wholesome seeing her get emotional. Being a trainer at Produce 101 to seeing the girls thrive as a group made her heart feel complete. Whenever Jennie was shown on screen, loud cheers would occur and sometimes idols reacted positively when they saw her on screen, with some smiling and commenting that she looked nice.
Once IOI began to perform Very, Very, Very, Jennie began to do the choreography while lip syncing.
nal neomuneomuneomu
neomuneomuneomu neomuneomuneomu
neomuneomuneomu neomuneomuneomu
After they performed, Twice was up to perform Cheer Up and then TT as she watched happily, cheering her friends, Mina and Jihyo, on.
"Just like TT! Just like TT!" she performed the choreography with Taehyung.
-----------
It was time for Hyuna to perform, as some idols were anticipating if anything was going to happen. They hadn't found something this entertaining in a while and hoped something would go down between her and Jennie. Hyuna strutted on stage and performed U&ME. Then she performed How's This with her backup dancers.
Jennie thought it was extremely petty of Mnet to keep a camera right in front of her to film her every reaction but she remained unamused and watched with her head up high. Bangtan didn't even like the fact that the camera was basically in her face nor did Armies.
Suddenly, Hyuna had changed some of her lyrics, not looking Jennie's way as she danced.
Not a high and mighty girl scout in the club behind some fake bulletproof glass. How boring.
Some idols widened their eyes while others glanced over to where Jennie sat.
Yet another diss? This was getting out of control.
Bam Bam cringed and glanced at Jennie with worry, hoping she'd be all right. Hayoon frowned at the diss and shook her head slightly.
However, Jennie only smirked as she continued to watch, knowing that all eyes were on her to see how she'd react. Bangtan glanced at her and as she met their eyes, she gave them a nod. They nodded back and remained calm as they continued to watch the performance.
Suddenly a switch flipped in Jennie's demeanor as she rolled her neck and stared at Hyuna.
'This bitch got me fucked up...' she thought as she kept her cool.
Fans tweet:
'Not again!! Enough already!'
'Is she trying to provoke Jennie?'
'Don't be mad if Jennie catches her in an alley to stomp that ass!'
'The neck roll! I repeat! The neck roll! Jennie just did the neck roll! That is BAD! She got something planned! Get ready!'
'I don't like how she's acting. This is bullying at this point. Hyuna needs to chill,'
'Jen better than me because I would have ran on stage and popped her shit,'
'From the looks of it, Jennie is so bitter and jealous,'
'That smirk means business. I'm not ready,'
'I wish people would stop judging Jennie,'
'Jennie looks like she's plotting,'
'Why does she look so hot when she's upset?'
'Bangtan knows something that we don't because they don't look bothered at all,'
'Bangtan isn't even phased?! What is Jennie planning tonight?'
Little did they know Jennie was listening closely and analyzing what she was saying to use it against her.
'High and mighty...' she thought, making a mental note.
----------
Timbaland arrived on stage to perform with Eric Nam.
And boy was it...awkward.
She sat next to Namjoon during this performance and covered her mouth to murmur to him, "Yo, Timbaland looks so confused. This whole performance is hard to watch,"
And he agreed. It was hard to watch. And she wished the crowd was more excited for Timbaland. It was THE Timbaland and the audience wasn't that loud for him in comparison to Eric Nam. No offense to him.
After being told they were needed backstage, Bangtan got ready for their performance. She changed out of her dress to wear black pants and a long-sleeved ruffled white shirt that hugged her body nicely. With her hair out, she wore a black suit jacket with some silver designs around it, and the daisy pin was placed on the jacket for good luck. As she got ready, she watched on the monitor to see that EXO had won best group and Twice won best female group.
Waiting to get on stage, Jennie ended up posting G-Dragon's iconic diss on the MAMA Awards on her Instagram story, which sparked even more interest in what was going to happen tonight.
"I got a little solo stage. It's going to be pretty fun. I hope everyone likes what I have in store," she beamed at the Bangtan Bomb camera after warming up her voice.
She looked ahead to see Jin checking out the special effects makeup on Taehyung's back to show off his broken wings. He went on the touch it but began to freak out, causing her to giggle.
"It feels like pudding!" Jin exclaimed.
"Why is Jin Hyung so childish?" Namjoon wondered, causing Jennie to laugh again.
The laughter loosened her up and made her less on edge about tonight's big performance.
She was ready.
After everyone was ready and went over last minute rehearsals, the eight of them gathered around and put their hands in the middle.
"All right, fellas! Let's make it a memorable one!" Jennie cheered.
"Indeed! Mama 2016, let's make it a legend. Bangtan! Bangtan!" Namjoon shouted.
"Bang-Bangtan! Fighting!" the group shouted and pushed their hands down.
----------
Backstage with the rest of the boys, Jennie watched with a smile as Jungkook looked ethereal while hanging from the ceiling on stage. He really did his thing. And it was harder than it looked.
She turned to the backup dancers who were patiently waiting for their cue to come out after they performed BST. She greeted them happily and asked if the cookies she made for them yesterday tasted fine. They raved over their love for her baking and appreciated her kindness. She wanted to thank them for being such a great support system for Bangtan and wanted to give them something nice.
"Let's have some fun! See you out there!" She beamed and bowed at them.
On stage, next up was J-Hope performing Boy Meets Evil, hyping up the crowd with a blue background. Then Jimin was revealed on stage, featuring a red background as he danced to Lie while blindfolded.
"The camera work though~?" Jennie watched in awe while the camera did a full circle as he danced.
Then the two had an epic dance collaboration on stage while performing the rest of the choreography for Boy Meets Evil. After they were done, the rest of the group met up on stage and began to perform Blood, Sweat, & Tears as the audience cheered loudly.
wonhae mani mani mani mani
wonhae mani mani mani mani mani mani
wonhae mani mani mani mani
wonhae mani mani mani mani mani mani
Here we go, the most anticipated part. The audience had been waiting to see a MAMA Award version of their duet. As the rest of the members were on the floor, only Jen remained standing with Jungkook. Like always, Jungkook stared at her with love and desire as he slowly made his way toward her from behind. With his presence behind her and face near her neck, he held her in his arms. She leaned into his arms as she began to sing with her mic.
How much longer before you consume me?
No matter how much I resist, I can't fight what you're doing
He turned her around and tried to get closer but she backed away. Persistent this time, he pulled her straight into his chest as he smirked and held her gaze with the audience screaming at their closeness.
My mind is telling me to break free but my body is freaking out
No, I can't want you, get out of my head
As you love every inch of me you see that I want it too
They continued to dance sensually with him mirroring her movements.
Breath on my neck, I bit off more than I can chew
Reflecting on my choices, I'm wonderin' if there's any way out of this
"Here comes my favorite part!" Yugyeom pointed out with the rest of Got 7 agreeing.
"Are they about to do the spin, this time?" Somi asked the IOI members as they were hopeful.
"Are they gonna do it?" Baekhyun wondered.
"The part is coming~!" Yuji giggled with the rest of GFriend.
"The spin coming?" Mingyu asked in anticipation, leaning forward, studying their movements.
"Let it be the spin," Mina had her fingers crossed.
"Here comes the spin!" Wonho cheered.
The idols got excited and so did the crowd as they began screaming and cheering when JenKook did their signature move. Everyone watched in awe at how they moved and thought about the amount of trust that was needed to pull it off. They weren't called The Golden Duo for nothing.
Jennie was pulled back into his arms as she continued to sing.
I'm losing this battle, I just can't resist.
The music changed slightly from the original instrumental of BST. Jennie and Jungkook were supposed to dance a little more for this instrumental but they remained close and pressed up against each other with her in his arms. They held each other's strong gaze and suddenly their lips met as they drowned out the loud pandemonium around the venue.
With their eyes closed, Jungkook gently lifted her chin and turned his head to deepen the kiss as they both smiled into it.
With the idols, Bam Bam began shaking Jackson while their jaws were dropped, looking shooked. Jay B and Mark widened their eyes while the rest of Got7 acted chaotic as they all enjoyed every bit of the surprising moment.
"What!? What!?" Jackson shouted as he fell dramatically.
The boys laughed at his reaction. Yugyeom grinned immediately once he saw them kiss and let out a chuckle. It made him proud to see Jungkook be so open about Jennie like this. The amount of guy talks they had about girls and how Jungkook's eyes would light up whenever he mentioned her made Yugyeom understand that these two were serious about each other.
The kiss fit so well with the performance and her lyrics. But there was no denying the love in their eyes as they looked at each other and how they kissed.
With IOI, various reactions occurred as some dropped their jaws, widened their eyes, covered their mouths, and giggled to themselves. Some filming them even caught a few of them mentioning how happy and cute Jennie looked with Jungkook. With EXO as they watched the kiss unfold, Chanyeol covered his face, giggling at the sight. Baekhyun smiled genuinely, watching Jennie kiss the man she loved dearly.
"Full of surprises," Sehun chuckled.
"Very," Xiumin added.
Twice looked at one another, surprised at the sudden kiss. They were excited to see their signature move but a kiss on top of that? Blown away. Mina and Jihyo glanced at each other with big smiles, happy for their friends.
"Did you think that was going to happen?" Jihyo asked.
"I didn't think it would but look at them. So cute! Jennie truly loves him. She smiles so brightly with him,"
"Mm hm!"
With Monsta X, the boys reacted dramatically and were in awe at their chemistry.
"I was waiting for a kiss!" Hyungwon pointed out.
"Me too, I was like, they have to do something big," Shownu chuckled.
"I wasn't expecting that at all, like damn!" Jooheon exclaimed.
All of GFriend gasped and then began jumping and squealing in their seats after seeing them smooch. Hayoon giggled with the girls and pointed out the kiss.
"It's happening! It's happening! I cannot stay calm about this! Finally~!" Hayoon cheered and began clapping with Yuji and Eunha.
"They kiss so passionately, my gosh," Sowon looked on, amazed.
Seventeen looked surprised while Mingyu and The8 happily smiled, enjoying the fact that their friends kissed openly on stage.
Meanwhile, Hyuna rolled her eyes as her reaction was filmed and she began to frown. She had her fair share of kisses on the MAMA Awards stage but the way the audience was screaming and cheering was a much louder reception than hers over the years.
With Bangtan, the boys were caught by surprise by their kissing. No one said anything about a kiss on stage. Jimin and Taehyung did their best not to freak out as they focused on the performance. The way they grinned and glanced at each other while they remained on the floor. Their hearts felt full to see their ship this open with each other in public. They especially loved how the kiss was a deep and passionate one and not just a short and sweet one.
Yoongi had enlarged his eyes a little at the bold move, wondering if this had been planned privately in advance. Getting over his initial shock, he became amused.
'These kids...' he thought.
Namjoon wasn't too surprised about it. He knew Jennie and Jungkook loved to be extra. He felt proud to see them show affection to each other on stage, not having a care in the world. They looked happy and that was all he wanted for them. To be happy like this privately and publicly. He found himself getting amused as he glanced at their passionate lip lock.
Mnet was having a field day with this. Ratings were definitely through the roof now with this shocking moment along with them raising the bar on this passionate kiss.
Jin and Hobi screamed internally when they saw them smooch. They weren't expecting it and thought they'd go along with their routine. After getting over the shock, it pleased them to see them be this bold in public and thought it fit well with the performance.
Back with Jennie and Jungkook, they pulled away as she bit her bottom lip lightly, returning his smile.
But then...reality set in.
'Oh...oh shit,' They both thought and realized what just happened.
They both remained "In Character" for their performance although it was pretty clear their feelings were showing out. It was bound to happen. The kiss was not planned at all but they moved to each other by instinct. And it felt good. So good. She kissed her boyfriend in front of the entire world, solidifying a MAMA Awards moment.
Remembering her last line, she finally sang the end of her verse.
Only a matter of time before you screw me up and I'll be stuck reminiscing.
Jungkook had to refrain from kissing her again as they both leaned back in which caused more screaming from the audience to occur. Then they reluctantly pulled away as he blew out air and shook his head a few times, trying to control himself from making out with her on stage.
'We're on stage. We're on stage,' Jungkook reminded himself as he kept backing away from her and went to the next dance position for the song.
With the screaming still occurring around the venue and fansites of Jennie and Jungkook catching their every facial expression, this moment was on its way to going viral.
People on social media were going crazy over the timeline with memes and various tweets:
'JENKOOK STANS RISE!'
'It wasn't even a quick kiss! That kiss was longer than anticipated!'
'My man did NOT want to let her go.'
'They both looked like they didn't want to let each other go. They were both in a trance!''
'We said spin not kiss wtf wtf AHHHHHH!'
'WHY DID SHE KISS HIM!? WAIT!'
'Oh...OH! They playing this BST sexy persona a little TOO well!'
'The way he had the GRIP on her?! Jungkook PLEASE!'
'The way he backed away!? She got him straining!'
'Jungkook saw an opportunity and took it! That smile into the kiss!? Oh, my man wanted to do that for a LONG time!'
'Why is he kissing Jennie!? Why!?'
'I'm fine...I'm totally fine...'
'We shipped the right ship! They kissed! They fucking kissed in front of everybody!'
'Were they acting!? Because that looked too real!'
'Jennie looked so dazed after kissing him!'
'Rookie King Kiss on STEROIDS!'
'That kiss was too American!'
'Do you see how happy the 97 Liners are looking?! Something is up!'
'Cries in Taennie!'
'The kiss that was meant for Taehyung nooooo!'
'And to think this was supposed to be Taehyung in this position instead,'
'How to be Jennie? Had sexy scenes with Taehyung and now gets to kiss Jungkook on stage? Lucky!'
'It's happening! Everybody stay calm! Stay fucking calm!'
'That tension is something that cannot be replicated because I was going crazy watching them on my screen. I was like KISS! And when they did I screamed! I didn't think they would do it!'
'How can I be Jennie in this moment?'
'A stage kiss!? Is this a stage kiss!? This looks so real!'
'Jennie's acting lessons are paying off. She is playing the part well of slowly giving in to temptation. Jungkook is hard to resist!'
'THE TENSION! THE BEDROOM EYES!? OH MY GOD!'
'WTF WTF A KISS!?'
'WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!'
'JENKOOK POR FAVOR!!'
'I have no choice but to Stan. Jennie show me your ways. First it was Taehyung, now it's Jungkook!'
'We got a man down! Jungkook get up! He is obsessed!'
'The way I felt like a third wheel I–'
'Jennie STAND UP! Ma'am you're supposed to be resisting temptation!'
'He down baaaad! What is happening!?'
'AHHHH'
'SKSKSKSKS'
'WTF JUST HAPPENED!?'
'They taking it to a whole new level!'
'OH MY GOD'
'Lives are about to be CHANGED!'
'Y'all can stop being in denial now! JenKook forever! Better than your other ships!'
'They are stressing me out! Can they PLEASE confirm it!?'
'Do you know how long we've waited for a kiss!?'
'JenKook stans we up!'
After performing the rest of the song and heading backstage while Jin and Taehyung do their final act together, Jungkook pulled Jennie into his arms and looked down at her.
"No turning back now," he grinned.
"I know," she grinned back. "I feel relieved and happy,"
"Me too. Kill it out there. I'll see you, soon. I love you,"
He cupped her face and pulled her in for a deep kiss, followed by multiple short kisses.
"I love you, too,"
"Was that planned?" Namjoon laughed.
"It just happened. I don't know who leaned in first," Jennie admitted.
"I don't know either but I'm not complaining," Jungkook added.
Jimin and Hobi jumped excitedly with Yoongi.
"JENKOOK~!" Yoongi shouted, making them all laugh as he started shaking the couple.
"Oh my God..." Jennie chuckled.
"JENKOOK~!" Jimin shouted. "Do you know how happy Tae and I were!? Our ship is soaring! Finally! That kiss was everything! You two know how to make us proud, huh?!"
The staff members had to step in to get them to separate so they could get them to their next location for the main stage while Jennie remained where she was. She waved goodbye and got ready.
"Jennifer."
She turned to see Yoongi.
"Control your emotions out there and wreck her life. You got this," he nodded in reassurance.
"Thanks, I will. See you out there," she nodded and saw him walk away, only leaving Namjoon.
Namjoon smiled down at her and held her hands, giving them a gentle squeeze.
"Jennie, you are undeniable. You are so good that they can't ignore you. This is your moment. Show them who Miss Bangtan is,"
Her eyes got glossy as she looked up at him and broke out into a grin.
"Thank you,"
He pulled her in for a big hug, kissing her forehead.
"I am so proud of you. And I am proud to be your leader. I'll see you out there,"
Once he left, she let out a deep breath and waited for her cue as she gripped her mic. The backup dancers were currently on stage, some in white cloaks and black cloaks while a Bangtan Bomb had been filming her all this time.
'Why did you and Jungkook kiss on stage?'
She was asked as a smile crept up on her lips at their lip lock. Turning to the camera she responded with a wink, "I did say no matter how much I resist I can’t fight what you’re doing. I officially fell into temptation. It was worth it though,"
Once the staff told her she could go on stage, she touched her daisy pin, thinking of G-Dragon. As soon as she got back on that stage...she knew everything was about to change.
"I hope I continue to make you proud," she murmured.
PART 2 OF THIS CHAPTER
#jungkook x oc#bts 8th member#bts additional member#bts female oc#bts female member#bts fanfiction#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenarios#jungkook fluff#bts black oc#kpop black oc#jungkook x black oc#kpop fanfiction#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts fluff
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I might just be stupid and it’s probably just me who didn’t understand anything about like minds(just watched it for the first time), but also I think you said Alex had a lack of feminism(?) at one point, and I never once saw that in the movie so I’m really curious about that, if you could share your thoughts as to why you think so.
First things first, welcome to the club! I can assure you that many who watch this film have some confusion or questions after the first viewing.
To answer your question, it would be really helpful if I knew what specific statement or post you were referring to, because I don't recall saying specifically that Alex isn't a feminist. I have definitely commented a few times on the fact that this movie is itself quite misogynistic, most notably in these two posts: Rambling about Sally and Martin, and Misogyny: Fridging Trope. The movie has three total female characters, and only Sally has any significant screen time or character development. Helen and Susan are just cardboard cutouts with no agency or personhood, used only as plot devices. All three of these women fall into some pretty standard sexist tropes, and they all end up as hapless victims of the male protagonists in various ways, even Sally.
As for Alex himself, the script simply does not address anything approaching the politics of the characters because the story isn't about those ideas. My own opinion based on my evaluation of the character we are presented with: I'd say Alex hasn't the slightest ounce of any kind of feminist leanings. I don't think he gives any thought to inequalities of any sort, nor does he care about any social justice causes. He might be able to pay lip service to those causes if it serves his purpose, because he's intelligent and manipulative enough to understand what people want to hear and what will paint him in the best light possible. Ultimately, concern for causes like feminism depends on a certain amount of empathy and compassion, and everything I can observe about Alex within the story tells me he has a fundamental lack of those qualities.
Nothing in this story explicitly tells us he IS a feminist, and plenty of evidence suggests he is the kind of person who would NOT be. That doesn't mean he thinks that women are specifically inferior or has any kind of formal agenda in support of subjugating people on the basis of gender or sex. I don't think he gives it any real thought at all. Instead, I think he views ALL others as inherently inferior to him personally, regardless of their identity. My own reading of the story suggests that Nigel is the exception to that view, but not everyone will agree with me there as there are multiple ways to read his relationship with Nigel.
I hope that helps clarify things a bit. Feel free to send more asks or reblog with additional thoughts if you've got more to add. We enjoy discussing the movie here and love to see new fans join our little corner of Tumblr.
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This will probably sound like a rant - its not a rant - it's a plea. I have removed the comment to keep anonymity, but this has presented a bit of a quandary.
I have to say - this sort of comment is exasperating. I have waited a week for an answer and, honestly - with no reply, it feels more like an empty zing. That makes *ME* sad. What is "temporarily"? - as in - you took it out and everything is okay? Exactly what broke? Do you know what piece(s)? What happened exactly? How can I improve this situation?
*I* don't know a single creator who releases their hard work only to go - oh well, broke your game - that's a you problem. I'm sure they exist. Not this guy.
I want to release the best possible product. My style is not for everyone - I am abundantly clear on that point. That said - with this particular set I was transparent with the issues I was encountering and it took, in some cases, weeks (actual weeks) to get something to work correctly with the little amount of time I have to give to this hobby. Quirky stuff like alpha phong/transparency issues/eyedropper not cloning issues. Not a 'my game grew an arm and has become a menace to my pets' kind of problem.
I was honestly horrified that someones game could be impacted by my wares - like - heart heavy/floor sinking sort of thing. I cannot underline this point enough - I desire critiques to improve - most creators do - at least the ones I respect. I might not be the fastest at fixing patch broken items, but when something is wrong with an item I just released, I make it a priority - with what time I have - to fix it. My site is littered with "whoops" add-ons.
PLEASE: My inbox is open - my comments are on here and at my blog - I have a contact page on my blog. If you ever find a problem with something I have released - please let me know. I will do my best to attend to it and if that is not possible, I can at least wave the red flag and hope someone in the community would have an answer to assist. Please be clear what happened so I am not forced to guess. A statement that feels like a lack of contentment is challenging to address.
#feedback is important#clarity is also important#not a rant#will probably delete#Im just as awkward anxious and sensitive as the lot of you#that said - I still find a way to communicate
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I wonder if Van Helsing interpreted the hand clasping as different than gratitude?? It was so obvious to me that Arthur was grateful for Seward's offer to spill his blood for Lucy. But then I have seen the argument that all three suitors have a deep rivalry that they only express through blood transfusion. Not that I personally agree.
Honestly, I'm not totally sure. I'm in the same camp as you where the handclasp reads as such obvious thanks. I hesitate to think of what else it could even be seen as - I guess a too-hard squeeze, like someone pretending to thank you but making a point that they're mad about it? That feels so backwards and weird to even contemplate, giving the entire surrounding situation. Somehow, I can't imagine Van Helsing going quite so far as to actively observe the handclasp and think it equals jealousy. I mean, Arthur is there crying about how he'd die to save Lucy, and he's the one who called Jack in in the first place.
I guess you're asking because of Van Helsing's comment on 10 September, after Jack actually does give her blood:
"Mind, nothing must be said of this. If our young lover should turn up unexpected, as before, no word to him. It would at once frighten him and enjealous him, too. There must be none. So!"
I think Van Helsing has a pretty strong tendency to default towards "men do this" and "women are like this". He's got tons of benevolent sexism going on. And I think, particularly when he isn't thinking hard about a particular individual he knows well, he just assumes things. Men don't like women who make 'ugly' faces. Men get jealous. He throws those comments out there without even thinking about them. Which would make this less a case of him seeing Arthur squeeze Jack hands and thinking "oh boy he's a jealous one!" and more just... a base assumption that any man would probably get jealous.
I also think there's something to be said for the context of these kinds of quotes. Van Helsing uses this super gendered assuming language most when he's asking people to do something, at least as far as I recall. So when he wants Lucy to cheer up, he makes a joke about her man not liking her making an ugly face. He also wants her to stop frowning at his flowers specifically because he doesn't want her to be skeptical about this treatment, so he uses this as a lighthearted joke to distract from any skepticism and lead into his "no but really these are medicine" speech. I might even go so far as to say that he tends to use these kinds of statements specifically when trying to lighten the mood a little while still getting his way. A sort of social lubricant based on widespread 'understandings' of how men/women are 'known to be'. Plenty of people do it all the time to get positive engagement in a story or whatever: saying "you know how men/women are" and getting them to laugh and nod along, etc.
So here, he knows it would frighten Arthur to know she needed blood again. I think it's more that fact, than Jack specifically giving it to her. Maybe he fears Arthur would get in the way somehow - either by calling in some other doctor (who stands almost no chance of saving her) or by hanging around himself. Having his blood on hand might be useful if needed, but hopefully it won't be, and having him around asking questions is just another stressor/possibly uncontrollable factor Van Helsing doesn't want. And he might try to offer up his blood and not be well enough to donate it anyway, since they took a lot from him not too long ago. Maybe he wouldn't take super well to being told no if that happened, who knows (another possible angle for the jealous line). So Van Helsing really doesn't want Jack to share the news. So he requests he doesn't, and adds in this more lighthearted jealousy thing too. Partially because he's just assuming Arthur would be without thinking about it, and partially just to not sound too overbearing/frightening with his request.
That's my guess. Though, as you say, there are plenty of people who read the book and assume all the suitors harbor a secret hatred for one another because they just can't understand that anyone wouldn't. So it's always possible Van Helsing does the same. If anyone, I think he'd be the most likely of the cast to do so.
#dracula daily#van helsing#anonymous#replies#i mean heck. maybe he didn't even notice the handholding. maybe he was too busy checking art out + assessing how much blood he probably has#who knows#but i tend to think he saw but just didn't think about it when talking like this#if someone challenged him he probably WOULD recognize 'oh yeah true. he didn't seem like the jealous type'. but it'd take someone else#to challenge him in the first place
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So, what’s your honest opinion of the full #picturegate drama?
I’ve seen many people believing that KP used The PoW as scapegoat and she doesn’t did the photoshop. But what are your thoughts? In case some are correct, why do you think they are blaming Kate? Why not blame the ‘real’ responsible (some suggested it’s her staff)
As we have discussed, their PR team is awful, but this new nonsense takes the cake
The situation leading up to the "photo kill" I've already described here:
That basically summarizes the situation leading up to the photo and its very public dismissal.
2. One of the other problems is the staff they have working for them. Clearly the KP communications department is not up to par. It should have been the communications head/chief taking the blame for this instead of Kate. Instead, he thought that a statement from Kate would quell the drama, when all it did was pour more gasoline on the fire.
So Kate can take the blame for the photo but couldn't make any comments about any messages she received from well wishers in the previous weeks? WTF?!
But then there's KP spokesperson giving statements to People magazine today!
A palace insider downplayed the PR crisis, telling PEOPLE exclusively that although the situation is a "bump in the road, it's not an earthquake." "[Kate] has apologized and graciously so," the insider says. "She has done something that 99% of us do — and we don’t have the scrutiny that they do." "Think of the level of scrutiny of pictures of her, as people pore over them," the insider continues. "You’re always on display and always got to be perfect." The insider adds, "She might be a member of the royal family, but she’s also a human being. If you've just had an operation, you want to look your best with the first photograph that’s published for the outside world."
I'm sorry but why is this person still in the employ of Kensington Palace and why are they speaking to People magazine? "We don't have the scrutiny that they do." FUCKING DUH!! That's why all sorts of people who don't pay attention to the BRF are like, "What the actual fuck is going on over there right now???"
So the KP comms people are continuing to dig the hole they are in. They haven't stopped digging and are unlikely to do so as long as they are calling up People magazine to give them exclusives on their professional fuckups!
3. Guess who hired and continues to employ the professional fuckup?
William!
William is an emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak with a privacy fetish. And William found his perfect YES MAN to accede to his control freak nature and his unhealthy demand for privacy with Lee Thompson.
YES MAN + Control Freak - connection to reality = the mess we have today
And the mess we have today continues to roll on. And will continue to roll on. Just as it has since he was hired in 2022...
There was the fuckup at Boston in 2022 when William issued a statement throwing his godmother under the bus when all he had to say was "This is an issue for Buckingham Palace." Except he didn't.
There was the bizarre photo op of Andrew being driven to church by William last August (2023), when everyone with a working, long-term memory knows that William has never kowtowed to his father.
Kate's stretch of wearing thirteen pantsuits in a row, 'cause she was all about "the work." Somehow, she didn't go on a crusade about wearing pantsuits when she was only The Duchess of Cambridge.
Announcing Kate had "planned abdominal surgery" the day after said planned abdominal surgery. If it was "planned," then wouldn't they have said something at least the day of rather than the day after?
Then there's the timeline of fuckery that's happened from Christmas until 09 March 2024 that I collated before The 2024 Mother's Day Photo Disaster.
And it's going to keep going on and on because the root of the problem is William!
4. Then there's The Princess of Wales, aka Kate or Catherine. She is the woman with likely more sense than either Lee or William put together. Do those two fuckups listen to her? Doubtful. Did they listen to any concerns or feedback she gave these two last summer? Or fall/autumn? Also doubtful.
So there's a woman who is a globally known public figure that does not have an easy way out of the mess the two men created, and also she may share some of the blame for decisions made last summer and fall?
And it's a very depressing situation being trapped with a husband who won't listen to you and takes you for granted, yet your husband will listen to the YES MAN at his employ. Because the husband is a emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak with a privacy fetish.
A very depressing situation when she knows that her reputation of twenty plus years in the public eye is about to go down the drain as a result of the choices these two men have made. (And no, I'm not talking about the Mother's Day photo.) Gee, what kind of situation could that lead to over the holidays?
5. Then you have Charles, Camilla, and the officials working at Buckingham Palace.
They know about all the communications problems taking place at KP since last summer. Oh, they know. BELIEVE ME. They know.
Charles is someone who believes people should learn from their mistakes and isn't going to interfere in his sons' lives and mistakes. Charles resented his parents interfering in his dating life long before he ever dated or married Diana. (Sabrina Guinness, anyone?) He also resented them interfering in his marriage to Diana.
Basically, Charles won't do what one of my friends from college did: write about her college roommate's pregnancy and due date in a Christmas letter. Yup. Charles isn't that man.
So, yes, BP's communication and pr about Charles's BPH treatment and cancer treatment veers toward being over the top. They have been very transparent with the press for a reason. They know there is a metaphorical nuclear bomb about to go off due to KP's lack of transparency and accountability to the UK public. The monarchy cannot be seen as complicit in it. It is KP's problem. Always has been a KP problem.
This is why Queen Camilla made so many visits to the front entrance of The London Clinic. Transparency. Proper communication with the UK public. The public can trust that The Crown is being honest with them. Kensington Palace clearly not so much.
It's why King Charles has been photographed doing mundane things such as greeting cards and going to church.
And yes, BP communications team is undoubtedly shading the KP comms team when King Charles got photographed in a car at Windsor last week, four days after Kate's pap shot with her mother.
So yeah, we're about to get the biggest scandal since the 90s when Diana died or the War of the Waleses. Pick your throwback reference. Get your popcorn. Because it is going to be that bad.
And the reputations of Will & Kate will never be the same.
Ever.
#ask#my gif#media#fleet street#PR fail#fail!#kensington palace#palace officials#William The Prince of OWN GOALS#William The Weak#William The Terrible#prince william#William The Prince of Wales#british royal family#kate middleton#Catherine The Princess of Wales#reddit#magazines#the disgusting one doesn't get his name in a tag#clothes#clothing#fashion#Wales fandom ARMAGEDDON#buckingham palace#King Charles III#queen camilla
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I'm really bad about leaving comments on Ao3 and such, so I'm just going to blanket statement here: I ADORE your hxhbb24 fic! You're a wonderful writer, you're so poignant and I love how you add to the canon plot with the bedtime scenes. You really know these characters, and they're adorable in the first two chapters, and really hits hard in chapter 3! I'm looking forward to the last chapter where you rip loose the post canon headcanon, and I'm also sad that I won't get to look forward to an update each weekend lol. Anyways! Good food, great work!
Ohhh thank you so much, this message is incredibly sweet and I deeply appreciate your kind words!! 🥰💖 I do my best to keep their characterization as close to canon as possible, so I love it when people comment on that. I hope you'll enjoy the final part when it's posted--I'd love to hear your thoughts on it as well if you have time!
I'm going to do my best to keep writing and posting more 'fics when I can! The kind comments I've received are such good motivation to keep thinking of what more I want to write and to keep working on what I have going! I actually might add some extra scenes to this 'fic too when I get a chance (in a bonus chapter of sorts), we'll see how things go...
Thank you again!
Here's a link to the 'fic for those who might want to check it out:
#hxh#hunter x hunter#killugon#gonkillu#my posts#fanfiction#asks#ive-bean-boozled#I haven't had the best day so your timing really cheered me up as well <3
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IDOLiSH7 Anime vs Game Comparisons
First Beat - Episode 7
i7 Popularity Discussion
The episode starts with Banri and Takanshi CEO talking about how the members popularity changed because of their last live. Tamaki and Sogo shot up in popularity with Riku and Iori right behind them. Everyone seems to be increasing in popularity, except for Mitsuki. Most people who like him, like him as their second choice.
This scene in the game is actually Banri and Tsumugi talking. Also, Tsumugi adds that i7 is able to shine because Mitsuki is there to hype up the group. Banri says that while that is true, fans and maybe Mitsuki himself doesn't realize that. :(
Yaotome's Offer
Yaotome provokes Tamaki with statements about his sister. He knows that Tamaki wants to be on TV so that he can find his sister. He talks about how Aya's adoptive family went bankrupt and disappeared with Aya. He adds how without money, it would be hard for Aya to find another school and suggests that Aya is probably going to be forced to work. He says, "I wonder what work she's being made to do... Poor girl. She's only fifteen, and she doesn't have anyone to rely on."
They changed Tamaki's response in the anime a bit. He says, "I'll definitely find her. Then, we'll live together."
In the game, he says, "I'll find her before that happens. I'll find her and make her go to school!" 😭
Sogo keeps his cool better in the game. In the anime, Sogo bursts out saying, "No, don't listen to him!", but in the game, he very calmly says, "No, thank you. Tamaki-kun, let's go. Let's calmly think this through."
Negotiating Debut
Tamaki is really bad at explaining. He announces to the members that he and Sogo will leave the group, resulting in a big fight. Iori takes a cold stance and tell Tamaki to leave if he wants to.
Riku says, "That's going too far, Iori!" I think the way he says this in the anime is softer than in game. He sounds like he's scolding Iori in the game.
Finally, Tamaki explains his situation. The members are frustrated that he's so bad at explaining, but they're glad that they understand where he's coming from. They agree to bring up debuting to Takanashi CEO.
Some of the reactions to Takanashi CEO announcing that Tamaki and Sogo are debuting together are a bit different.
Mitsuki very obviously seems to have lost hope in the anime. In the game, he sounds shocked but not exactly disheartened.
Nagi's reaction is more or less the same.
Anime Iori panics, but game Iori sounds betrayed. (I can hear him plotting Takanashi's downfall in his brain)
We don't get Riku's reaction in the anime, but he sounds heartbroken in the game.
Everyone's Worries
First, we see Mitsuki practicing the dance on his own. Yamato approaches him and confronts him, saying, "You were worried, weren't you?"
In the anime, Mitsuki opens up about his insecurities, how he doesn't have anything special like the others (singing like Riku, dancing like Tamaki, etc).
But in the game, he, in my opinion, avoids the question and says, ".... Nah, not really.... I'm used to failing and coming in last!" The extra pause in the game and his feigned cheerfulness while saying the line make me think that he doesn't want to admit that he's insecure about his lack of ability.
Then, we see Nagi near the Zero Arena talking to himself but directing it as a sort of prayer to Haruki. He didn't expect that he'd get so attached to the i7 members. He asks that Haruki would cast his magic once more (In the game, he was second, but in the anime he ends the episode).
Then, we have Riku and Iori. We have Iori's "I'll make you a superstar" comment! In the anime, the scene with Iori re-enacting Riku and Tenn's possible reunion is in the next episode and in front of the other members, but it happened with only the two of them right after that comment in the game. Then, Iori warns Yamato about Riku possibly wanting to find his brother, so Yamato stops Riku later on. Just a little rearrangement.
Chapter 7 Side Story I: Promoting an Idol
Yaotome and Anesagi talk about TRIGGER's appeal. They want to be different from Re:vale, who appeals to normal people. They want TRIGGER to feel unreachable like a luxury good, so they deliberately erased sense of familiarity from TRIGGER's image. Yaotome even says that he refuses to sell TRIGGER cheaply.
Anesagi brings up how Ryuu still feels uncomfortable acting out his image because it's really different from his personality. She worries that Ryuu's hesitation might end up affecting Ryuu's performance. Yaotome just says that it's Anesagi's job to manage that. Yaotome says that he plans on overthrowing Re:vale in a year through dramas and crushing the promising IDOLiSH7 before they get a chance to make it big.
Tsumugi asks Iori what he thinks would be the best promotional strategy. Iori says that it's important to know your target audience before doing any kind of promotion because if the audience demands something different from what the idol is giving, it will hard to advertise the idol's charms.
Iori hesitantly says that Mitsuki is an example of this kind of mismatch. He shows Tsumugi a picture of Mitsuki's profile and asks her what kind of impression he gives her. She says that he looks very young. He seems like a cute, cheerful, and kind person, someone who is friendly and warm.
Iori: That's right. In other words, my brother is.... a very, very, very cute stuffed animal.
Tsumugi: …You really gave quite a speech there.
Iori: Ah, sorry—I got a bit carried away. (🤣🤣🤣)
Iori says that if you promoted Mitsuki with a cute and lovely image, he would get a lot of fans that love that kind of idol. But Mitsuki will not put up a false image, so those people may be shocked by his energetic and bold way of speaking and leave.
On the other hand, if you promote Mitsuki with a manly image, which is the way Mitsuki wants, Mitsuki will end up losing to other idols that are visually more manly.
Only people who love Mitsuki's "gap" will stay with Mitsuki.
Tsumugi argues that people will fall in love with Mitsuki's straightforward personality. Iori doesn't doubt that, but to make people curious about Mitsuki's personality, they have to first make people pay attention to Mitsuki.
Iori explains that Sogo and Tamaki are very popular because their appearance align with their personalities. People who would like people like Sogo and Tamaki can easily identify them.
Tsumugi reiterates the idea in her own words to make sure she understands what Iori was saying. Then, Iori makes a sassy comment, "Correct, though I'm not including his extreme taste for certain foods or his drunk personality." 🤣
Iori then talks about the importance for idols and producers to be in sync with their goals and aspirations. He says that it's good for IDOLiSH7 to have Riku as center, even though there are some risks.
Also, TRIGGER gets some food from Re:vale.
Chapter 7 Side Story II: Team Building Activities
Tsumugi proposes a game that will help communication within the team where 6 people will "gossip" about the one member that was chosen for that round. They will literally "gossip behind the other's back" (The 6 are not facing the one that was left out). They're allowed to praise the member, ask questions, or complain a little. This way, everyone will know how the other members see them.
Small aside: Tsumugi said that she was doing sit-ups and push-ups, and Mitsuki asks if she was planning on stopping them with brute force if something happens next time 😂
Banri walks in the room, so the boys start complimenting Banri. Tamaki says that Banri is super nice. Nagi says that Banri is the world's best office worker. Riku says that Banri is super cool.
Banri playfully asks what they would like as a side dish. Mitsuki and Yamato immediately call out his favoritism, and he tells them he was just joking.
They will start a practice round with Banri as the target. Tsumugi asks Sogo to start first.
Sogo is worried about Banri being able to catch the train because he gets off work so late. Yamato says that he heard Banri has a car. He wonders where Banri lives.
Tamaki wonders why Banri has long hair. Mitsuki says that it's because Banri has a good sense of style. He says that Banri would suit being a celeb.
Iori wonders how Banri tames fluffy things because they seem to be quite attached to Banri. Nagi says that Banri watched Kokona for Nagi. He thinks that Banri is into music.
Riku said that Banri wants to go to a hot spring because his lower back hurts from sitting too much. Riku wonders who Banri will go with.
Next up is Iori!
Mitsuki asks Tamaki about what he and Iori are doing in school. Tamaki says that they study in school. Riku asks for more embarrassing stories. Tamaki said that Iori was asked out by a girl the other day.
Yamato asked about what kind of girl she was. Tamaki said she's cute. Nagi asks about Iori's reaction, and Tamaki says, "He was kinda... nervous and fidgety... uhh... oh, her breasts were big... kinda?"
Iori: Please don't say things carelessly!
Mitsuki: Iori, you like girls with big breasts?
Iori: That's not it!! Please believe me, nii-san. (😂😂😂😂)
Tsumugi says that Iori is not allowed to join the conversation. Iori said that they've said enough, so it's Yamato's turn next.
Apparently, Nagi recently heard Yamato sleeptalk. Yamato said, "Mama!!" Yamato angrily says, "Don't lie, you jerk." Mitsuki reminds Yamato that he's not allowed to join the conversation.
Riku: So Yamato-san is the type of person to call his mom "mommy"! I would have never guessed. I call my mom "mom".
Yamato insists that he doesn't say "mommy". He also forcefully ends his round and passes it on to Mitsuki.
Mitsuki: Come on, old man. If you hurry too much, mommy's gonna scold you!
Yamato: Shut up!
Mitsuki goes next. Yamato was about to tell an embarrassing story about Mitsuki, but Iori quickly covers Yamato's mouth. He says that he will protect Mitsuki's honor. 😂
Nagi is curious. He wants to know if it's more embarrassing than that one drunk night where Mitsuki cosplayed as Kokona.
Mitsuki: Stoooppp itt!!
Sogo: You actually did?
Iori: Do you like to see? I have pictures. (with a soft smile)
Mitsuki: Hey, Iori! What happened to onii-chan's honor!?
Iori: Sorry, I...
Mitsuki: Seriously, you're all hopeless. Next! Tamaki!
Tamaki: ...What is this game? How long can you wait before retorting?
Mitsuki asks Sogo for a Tamaki exposé. Sogo starts a story about a time in front of a Japanese sweets shop, but Tamaki quickly shouts, "Out!". Riku is amused that they now have an "out" and "safe", like in baseball. Tamaki immediately passes it to Sogo.
Riku said that he recently saw Sogo become very red, even though Sogo was not drunk. Riku explains, "It was in the bathroom..." (the one with showers / baths). Sogo immediately cuts Riku off with an "out". Riku is happy that he got one out.
Yamato and Iori are amazed at how the game changed so much.
Next is Nagi's turn!
Yamato thinks it'll be hard since Nagi has no shame. 😂 Yamato starts with how Nagi went to work with his Kokona t-shirt. Nagi stays quiet.
Mitsuki: He's immovable.
Tamaki: The Immovable King of Enlightenment (He's referring to the Japanese Buddhist figure Fudō Myōō).
Riku said that Nagi patted an old man's head the other day because Nagi thought you can pat smooth heads for good luck, just as you would pat a jizou statue head.
Nagi stays calm.
Sogo: He's an iron wall...
Iori: Hmmm, I want to break it down somehow....
Tamaki: Oh I know! The other time, the manager's...
Nagi finally says, "Out." Tamaki cheers. Riku also cheers.
Nagi said that he had to stop Tamaki for Tsumugi's sake. Tsumugi is curious, but Nagi doesn't answer. He tells Riku to go next.
Banri enters the room to a game that he doesn't understand anymore. 😂
Nagi says that they will attack Riku with a six-hit combo. The others shout "Yeah!" together. Tsumugi cheers them on.
Banri is still confused. The end 😂
Chapter 8 Side Story I: A Video Time Capsule
After seeing some Music Festa interviews, Riku suggests that they should make a video time capsule! They would record about their current feelings and watch it together the next year.
Riku interviews Sogo and Tamaki! He asks about how Tamaki asked Sogo to withdraw from the group. Sogo said that Tamaki was super polite and even called him "Sogo-san". Riku playfully asks if Tamaki will call him "Riku-san" too if Tamaki wants something.
Tamaki says, "Riku-san, please lend me the camera."
Riku replies, "Ahaha! Nope! It's still my turn!" Tamaki proceeds to try to grab the camera himself, while Riku tries to keep the camera away.
Tamaki repeats, "Riku-san, please lend it. Please, please, please."
Riku replies, "Tamaki! You're even more shameless when you use 'san'!"
Nagi has the camera next! He is tailing some members of IDOLiSH7 with his (forced) assistant Iori to find a scoop! Apparently, Nagi wanted to larp as a paparazzi.
Mitsuki and Yamato acts like they don't know they're being followed really badly as they head to a ramen shop. Suddenly, Nagi tells Iori to take this chance to interview them. GO! GO! GO!
Mitsuki and Yamato pretend that they just found out they were being tailed and start to run away. Iori is shocked and unable to react.
Next, we have Riku interviewing Riku! Turns out he was imitating one of Tenn's interviews! XD
He wonders about where i7 will be in a year and worries that he will be embarrassed about himself today when he looks back a year later.
He also reflects on what happened with Sogo and Tamaki. He understands that Tamaki's situation is complicated, but Riku still wishes that Tamaki would choose to stay with them despite that. Riku resolves to work hard and get closer, so Tamaki will be able to say that next time. 🥹
Nagi gets the camera again! He shows the camera around his room, not forgetting a wink for fan service. Then, he talks about his current feelings and hopes. Nagi is currently very happy and is grateful for all the encounters he's had. He hopes that in a year, he will continue to be happy and that he'll get a slightly larger bed! 🤣
Sogo goes next. He said that he prepared a script for the interview, but Yamato found and hid it. Now, Sogo has no choice but to speak candidly. Sogo wonders if they will really not watch this video until next year. He wonders if he'll have enough courage to tell the others about his home situation. He talks about how he knew a musician that inspired him to become one himself and about how he's afraid that he might cause trouble for the others in the future. But he is determined not to lose anyone or anything this time. He hopes that their new song "Miss You..." will be a hit.
During Tamaki's turn, he wonders if Aya will recognize him. He thinks she will because he didn't change much. Then, he apologizes to everyone for his behavior recently. He tries to express how he's happy that he is part of an "us" (he says it in a very Tamaki way). Then, he resolves to work hard.
Next, we have Mitsuki! He's happy that they can appear on TV together and wonders when he should tell other friends and family about this appearance and if the other members have done so. Mitsuki wants to tell his friends and family as a way to thank them for supporting him for so long. He thinks that this might be his last chance. He says that he was surprised to hear that Yaotome Productions tried to poach Tamaki and Sogo and was really worried that IDOLiSH7 might end. He thanks Tamaki and Sogo for choosing to stay with IDOLiSH7. Finally, he ends with a message for himself: "Izumi Mitsuki, please keep singing next year. Make our childhood dream come true. As for me right now, I'll work my hardest so that you can stand proud." 🥹
Yamato struggles with what he wants to say. He decides to say cryptic words: "Are you there, me-in-a-year? .... haha.... Sorry, I don't think I have anything to say after all."
Finally, we have Iori! He observes that the i7 members are pretty nervous about this opportunity, which makes sense because it's their first TV appearance and a crucial moment for their future. He tells the members not to worry and that everything is going to be okay. He encourages the members to be confident in their abilities and potential. He believes that they will make it big. The interview ends with Iori hoping that no one makes a mistake.
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"&" Ampersand - A Literary Companion: Eve & Paradise Lost
Hey everyone!
Let’s continue feeding my unhealthy obsession with Bastille by diving into the literary companion I created for “&”. Today, we’re talking about the second track: Eve & Paradise Lost. (Now that the album is out, I can finally follow the tracklist properly!)
In case you missed it, here’s my post about Intros & Narrators.
Before we jump into the book picks for this song, I want to apologize for the delay in writing this. I’ve had some family stuff going on, moved houses and also wanted to make sure I had read both books before recommending them.
Actually, I plan to take some time to go over the whole list of stories I’ve picked—I want to read them all thoroughly so I know exactly what I’m recommending to you all (some of them, I've already read, but I want to revisit them as well).
Now, let’s talk about the song. I find it fascinating to see a male songwriter like Dan taking on a woman’s perspective for a project that explores different stories. The official statement about the song stood out to me: “This song is about the burdens of loving women cruelly made to feel blame and shame from the dawn of time.” It’s clear Dan’s an artist who engages with feminist writings, and that’s something I truly appreciate—especially given how rare it is in the music industry, particularly for someone who presents as a straight, white male.
Cat Bohannon — Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution
The title character from the song. Probably the most cited figure from the Bible. A staple in paintings and literature for the past two thousand years. The first sinner. Eve remains a pillar of the Western collective imagination, her meaning changing a lot throughout the decades. From the representation of female sexual desire, scapegoating her for condemning the entire human race to death by eating the forbidden fruit (can you tell I went to Catholic school?), to being seen as the first example of female rage in the face of oppression. She embodies the complexities of womanhood—temptation, sin, and defiance—all wrapped into a single character.
Cat Bohannon’s book couldn’t be further from this. With a PhD from Columbia in the evolution of narrative, Bohannon explores why, in an age when we often see medical and science knowledge as some sort of truth, we still somehow have a very male-centric view of the human body.
By reexamining all the different potential Eves we have in the history of human evolution—that’s how she chooses to call all the ‘hypothetical female ancestors’ in our shared Homo sapiens lineage—, Bohannon urges us to reconsider and reshape our understanding of how our knowledge of the human body has often ignored half the world’s population.
As someone who enjoys reading non-fiction books (happy to share a few of my all-time favorites in the comments to whoever is interested), I found this book a really insightful, at times infuriating, eye-opening view into how sad it is that, for much of documented history, women have been seen as just men with breasts and wombs bolted on. The author is especially conscious of how sex (influenced by chromosomes, physiology, and hormones) and gender (how we identify, behave in our environment, and interact with one another) are not the same thing. She often adds notes to point out how science ignoring the female body and all its narratives has even worse consequences for trans and nonbinary folks, which I found really well-done and necessary in today’s age.
I picked this book as a companion to the song mainly because of the “rolled your eyes at pain you'll never comprehend” line, but I think it is a solid read on its own. I certainly learned a lot about my own body during the 15 hours I listened to the audiobook.
John Milton — Paradise Lost
So, Paradise Lost—the epic poem that pops up on pretty much every English Lit syllabus. Quick and snappy plot summary before we dive in: It’s a 12-part epic that covers Satan’s dramatic fall from Heaven, the creation of Adam and Eve, their blissful (but short-lived) days in Eden, the infamous temptation, and their ultimate eviction from paradise. Along the way, there’s a war in Heaven (didn’t exactly keep me on the edge of my seat), plus some deep philosophical chats between Raphael and Adam about creation, God, and, well, everything. It’s basically theological fanfiction (I mean it in the most neutral way possible).
Milton, being the good Puritan he was, used these stories to dig into free will, predestination, and conscience. It’s hard not to see Satan as a rebel leader and God as the authority figure, especially when you remember Milton was writing during the English Civil War.
The poem was widely known but highly controversial and criticized during Milton’s lifetime, however, during the Romantic period, poets like Shelley and Byron “reclaimed” Milton’s Satan as a tragic antihero figure.
Anyway, I had to dig out my old uni notes (and hit up some audiobooks) to brush up on Eve’s role in this whole mess. And let me tell you, there’s a lot to unpack. Mainly because: a) as is often the case with old poetry, there’s a lot to read between the lines; b) classics come with a million different interpretations, and c) there are a few different versions, depending on the edition you read, so it’s easy to get lost in the variations of text, footnotes, and commentaries. (And also d) I won’t lie, it’s a slow, heavy read. At times, I had to resort to the audiobook just to get through some of the passages!)
Here’s what stood out this time around: Eve’s role is seriously hard to pin down, as Milton's relation to gender politics has been scrutinized since, well, pretty much since it was published in the 17th century. (Yeah, I had to pull out good old Google Scholar, watch some lectures on YouTube, and, of course, dive into Muses: An Ampersand Podcast—thanks, Dan and, mostly, Emma.)
What I really enjoyed was reading some modern articles that analyze Eve’s character through the lens of feminism which ties into the song’s exploration of blame and shame—no Wild World pun intended.
First of all, when Eve is introduced to Adam in Paradise Lost, Milton has her momentarily distracted by her own reflection in a pool of water, a subtle but significant parallel to the myth of Narcissus (hint hint). It’s an early indication of how susceptible to being misled she will be later on. But it also plays into this idea that her curiosity and desire—whether for knowledge or just, you know, herself—are somehow “dangerous.”
Now, Eve gets the blame for the Fall because she’s tempted by Satan to snack on the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. Sure, she’s tricked, but let’s not pretend it’s all the serpent’s fault—once the idea is planted, it’s Eve who talks herself (and Adam) into it. That shows some sense of agency on her part, right? She wasn’t just a passive, helpless victim; she wanted to prove herself, to be tested, and she took action.
Milton is giving her a bit of credit for having a mind of her own, even if it’s wrapped up in this narrative of downfall. Eve’s curiosity and independence—qualities we might admire today—become her so-called "fatal flaws" here. So, yes, the story punishes female agency, but it’s undeniably there. And in a world where women were (and still are) often written as powerless, it’s refreshing to see Eve at least take some control, even if the outcome is a bit... unfortunate.
Now, let’s be real, this whole negative portrayal of Eve isn’t shocking. Milton was writing in a time where misogyny was baked into pretty much everything (which, sadly, isn’t all that different from now). Eve’s agency and sexuality are framed as the ultimate cautionary tale: women’s sexuality and agency are seen as inherently dangerous and something that inevitably leads to moral fallings.
But despite it all, towards the later part of Paradise Lost, Eve does get a kind of redemption arc. I came across one scholar who referred to the concept of felix culpa, a phrase in Catholic tradition meaning "happy fault" or "blessed fall." Eve might be responsible for humanity’s downfall, but her actions also set the stage for the coming of Christ, making her "mistake" a necessary part of the larger divine plan. It’s a bit of a paradox—how can something so disastrous lead to something so positive?—but the idea is that certain misfortunes can eventually lead to greater good.
Milton leans into this in Book 12, where Adam says:
"O goodness infinite, Goodness immense! That all this good of evil shall produce, And evil turn to good; more wonderful Than that which creation first brought forth, Light out of Darkness!"
So, in a roundabout way, Eve’s fall isn’t all doom and gloom—she’s the necessary catalyst that sets God's plan into motion. In fact, scholars have started to reframe Eve’s role in Paradise Lost as something more empowering than it initially appears. Traditionally, Eve’s been seen as the ultimate cautionary tale, blamed for humanity’s fall and cast as a symbol of female weakness and danger. But if you look closely, there’s something subversive in the way she’s actually the mover of the entire plot.
Eve isn’t just sitting around passively following orders—she actively makes the decision to eat the fruit, which, yes, brings about the fall, but it’s also what triggers the eventual coming of Christ and the possibility of redemption. Without her action, we’d all be hanging out in Eden, stuck in a static, sheltered existence. In a way, this is Eve taking control of her fate, making a choice, even if it’s framed as "wrong."
Plus, while Milton definitely punishes Eve, her agency is undeniable. Adam is kind of an afterthought in the whole thing—Eve is the one who steps outside the box, embraces curiosity, and disrupts the status quo. To modern feminist readers, that kind of defiance (even if it’s punished) reflects the strength of a woman asserting her independence. Raphael even calls her "the mother of humankind," acknowledging her dual role. She is both chaos and creation—a symbol of disruption but also the source of life. So, in a way, Eve’s choice is what makes humanity... well, human.
I like how in the song, there’s also a sense of Eve having an agency and a mind of her own. The chorus highlights Eve’s struggle with the idea of being “made for” Adam—“When they say I was made for you... made from you”—and the frustration of biting her tongue, which relates to how her love for Adam intertwines with her need for independence.
That’s it for this post! I’ll be back soon with more book picks for the next track. Let me know if you’ve read these or if you have any thoughts!
Feel free to share your thoughts and any other book suggestions as well!
With love,
Cat
#mine#bastille#dan smith bastille#dan smith#dan bastille#ampersand#&#literature#paradise lost#eve#john milton
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Rewriting Rebels Thrawn (Part one?)
Hello everyone, I was planning to do some comparison posts for Rebels Thrawn and canon book Thrawn (because as it turns out they are very different) but then I got another idea:
What if I took scenes from Rebels and reimagined them to better fit Thrawn's portrayal in the canon trilogy and Ascendancy? This way we not only get to talk about CB Thrawn but also compare him to his Rebels counterpart.
So this is what we'll be doing here!
Also, I want to point out that this post isn't meant to dump on the Rebels version. Both are valid iterations and which one you prefer is up to you. This is merely a fun little exercise for myself and a post for those potentially curious to know more about CB Thrawn.
So without further ado, here's the scene we'll be looking at for this post (minor spoilers ahead):
There are three things here that will need addressing:
One, Thrawn's open display of anger. Two, his demonstration of physical violence. And finally, what motivated them in the first place (ie Slavin referring to the Klaikori as trash and suggesting they get rid of it).
In the show this scene suggests that Thrawn is the calm polite type whose composure is only a veneer. The kind of character who's unpredictable because they're cool and suave on the surface but show their true colors when provoked.
Canon book Thrawn, in contrast, demonstrates a composure that is very much real. He is so composed in fact that it often throws his opponents off balance, especially if they're purposefully trying to get a rise from him.
On the rare occasion he does display anger it's usually through a tensity or rigidness of sort (lips thinning, posture going stiff, his tone turning tense, etc.) and his overall manner becomes more cold and clipped as opposed to aggressive or passionate.
He is also a capable fighter but only resorts to physical violence if it serves a purpose. For instance, the first time he and Eli are in a fight, Eli doesn't even realize Thrawn can hold his own because he's holding back as part of a bigger plan.
In general CB Thrawn is more likely to intimidate opponents by revealing his ability to defeat them, making his weapon of choice verbal intimidation. Add to that a lack of sadistic inclinations and you get a character who's unlikely to resort to violence as long as there are other means of achieving his goals.
Can he be ruthless? Yes. But not in a situation that doesn't call for it. Which brings us to the thing that prompted his outburst:
Slavin's comment is something that's unlikely to elicit such a reaction in book canon Thrawn. Namely because he's more than used to people's attitude towards his art obsession. He's been ridiculed for it in both the Empire and in his home world and he never reacts to it aggressively (the few instances he's open about his feelings on it, he's more resigned than angry).
Thrawn faced similar alienation (pun intended) in the Empire for being an alien and even then Eli seemed to get more upset on his behalf than Thrawn did. Because again, he's used to it.
Now. With all of that said.
How would I rewrite this scene to fit book canon.
For starters, Thrawn keeps his composure, merely telling Slavin that his opinion is the reason why he's not calling the shots in this situation. When Slavin asks him what he means, Thrawn tells him that he's clearly not capable of appreciating the Kalikori's value, implying Slavin's incompetence.
Even better, Thrawn gets confused when his comment angers Slavin - in the books Thrawn is often incapable of distinguishing compliments and insults from factual statements - and he politely apologizes to Slavin, telling him that he didn't mean his words as an insult but was merely stating the facts.
Throughout the whole scene he's neither condescending nor annoyed or smug. He keeps a calm steady tone and leaves Slavin feeling wrong-footed and humiliated.
So the whole thing would look something like this:
"We should just destroy that piece of Twi'lek trash."
"And that is why, captain, you are not the one making the decisions here."
"What? What do you mean by that?"
"I am merely saying that you are unequipped to appreciate the value the Kalikori holds for us."
"Unequipped?" [Slavin sputters, indignant] "I would like to point out, sir, that I have been here on Ryloth far longer than you have."
[Thrawn stops and blinks at him]
"My apologies, captain, my comment seems to have offended you. I did not mean to cause any offense. I was merely stating the facts as they are."
[he turns and continues walking as if the topic is closed]
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm conducting an experiment that requires my attendance."
Alright, that concludes this scene! My subpar writing aside, I'm curious to hear what any book fans might think. I won't be going through each and every one of Thrawn's scenes but I hope to cover those that are the most obvious candidates for a rewrite (and oh boy, hopefully none of them will need as much revision as this one).
#thrawn#grand admiral thrawn#thrawn trilogy#thrawn trilogy spoilers#thrawn books#sw rebels#rebels thrawn
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