#i want to work on how i draw faces in general and i felt aurora suffered a lot from my very big eye and lack of fully settled

[amasdoodles]

a collection of doodles done recently, refs used

[hallmark-movie-fanatics]

CANDACE CAMERON BURE SIGNS AGREEMENT WITH GAC MEDIA

Bure to Create Original Content and Seasonal Celebrations for GAC Family and GAC Living

NEW YORK, NY – April 19, 2022 – Christmas comes early to GAC Media as the company today announced that they have signed Candace Cameron Bure to develop, produce and star in movies and television across GAC Family and GAC Living. Bure will take on a prominent executive role at the company to oversee and curate programming for the networks as a whole. Additionally, through her Candy Rock Entertainment, she has agreed to develop and produce original content for GAC’s channels. Bure will also create year-round seasonal celebration content for the networks and play a key role in the company’s annual Great American Christmas franchise.

“Candace is adored by generations of fans as one of family entertainment’s most cherished and relatable stars,” said Bill Abbott, President & CEO of GAC Media. “She has helped build this genre into the mainstream success it is today, and I look forward to working together at GAC Media as we further establish our brands as leaders in quality family programming. I am truly honored that she has chosen to be a part of and help curate her special brand of family entertainment here at Great American Channels.” 

“I’m very excited to develop heartwarming family and faith-filled programming and make the kind of stories my family and I love to watch,” Bure said.  “I am constantly looking for ways that I can inspire people to live life with purpose.  GAC fits my brand perfectly; we share a vision of creating compelling wholesome content for an audience who wants to watch programming for and with the whole family.  Great, quality entertainment with a positive message is what my partnership with GAC is all about!”

In addition to being an actress, producer, director, and New York Times bestselling author, Bure is an entrepreneur whose brand extends from entertainment and lifestyle, to faith and family.  Bure is the CEO of Candy Rock Enterprises; head of her own self-titled clothing and lifestyle brands; a prolific author and co-owner of Bure Family Wines. Bure is known for holiday romantic comedies where she is a perennial fan favorite, having starred in dozens of movies created in close partnership with Abbott. Bure starred in and executive produced one of television’s most successful mystery movie franchises, “Aurora Teagarden.” She competed on Dancing with the Stars in 2014 and was co-host of The View in 2015 and 2016. Fans first came to know Candace as D.J. Tanner in “Full House.” In 2016, Bure and her “Full House” co-stars reunited to create 75 episodes of “Fuller House.” Both of the classic sitcoms are currently airing on GAC Family.

LINK

My thoughts about this latest news, I was completely expecting it. This has got to be a blow for Hallmark, regardless of how one feels. Don't get me wrong, Hallmark will survive, but it's still a blow for the network as a whole because she was a very big draw for many years. She was essentially the face of Hallmark. They needed to promote something, especially Christmas, send CCB out. I wonder just how hard the powers that be tried to keep her. If I was in charge of the network she would've been my number one priority outside of Lacey Chabert. It does seem by this press release that CCB seems to be having a much larger role for GAC behind the scenes than at Hallmark. The last two years I've felt like those in charge at Hallmark are sort of just going by the seat of their pants, their leadership isn't very decisive. Just look at how they are handling all the mysteries, and HM&M in general, they take forever to make a decisions and when they do they remain silent. It's not bad decisions mind you, I just think that they wait too long to make them. Like I said before, Hallmark will survive. Regardless, this sting has got to hurt. Out of all the stars that have signed contracts with GAC that were Hallmark regulars, this one is the biggest and most significant.

[kerie-prince]

We're Worlds Apart (2)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj!reader

series m.list | general m.list | previous chp

warnings: light cursing, mentions of death, angsty Draco

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

(gif not mine)

The surrounding neighbors have been very nice; one elderly couple walked up to Draco’s door with an apple pie, quite the American staple, and he seemed to appreciate it. They seemed normal and sweet. Much unlike the feeling he had for his neighbor. Y/N. He hasn't made any attempts in the month that he's lived in the small suburban neighborhood to see her. He avoided her like she was a deadly plague.

Albeit, it was probably harsh and extremely childish. The whole point of him becoming a new person was changing his views he had been taught in adolescence. Or else why did he help Harry Potter all those years ago when he swore he hated him?

It was currently around 3 in the morning, he was standing in his backyard and made sure no one would be awake as he sent his owl to send a letter to his best friend, Blaise. He was the only person who still contacted Draco on a regular basis besides the occasional letter from Theodore. Gregory cut all contact with Draco after the Battle, especially since Vincent had died that night in the fire in the Room of Requirement. Pansy was living her life somewhere, and although the Golden Trio had forgiven Draco for his actions, it didn't start any friendships. But Draco was fine; Blaise and Theo had been there for him in more ways he cares to admit.

He never mentioned a word about Y/N to Blaise until now when he asked what Draco’s American neighbors were like. Majority of the letter contained contents of how work has been, the differences in not only culture but also how things are called, and just his own well being. He did say something short for the elderly couple, but when it came to Y/N he had a lot to say.

These muggles are far different from the ones in England, Blaise. They know things about the magic world but input a fantasy in their heads. They believe they can actually practice witchcraft and wizardry, calling themselves “Wiccan” or whatever rubbish it is. Bloody hell, they even have films and tv programs of them. My neighbor is one of these and she does the most ludacris things in her house. Quite laughable, really. If Salazar was alive today to see this happening, I’d bet he’d curse the whole lot.

She had been lingering in his mind since that day of his discovery. It was annoying him. Every night, he would catch her in her room doing whatever the hell she was doing and he felt as if the universe was mocking him. This is what people think what you really are was the message he got from it all. Draco never thought something like this would make him feel like a freak. But he did. This act of hers was an indirect insult of what he was capable of. And she had no idea.

—

It was a fine autumn morning. The shop was closed today, so you had lots of time at home to catch up with cleaning. You stood over your bathroom sink brushing your teeth and saw from the reflection of your mirror your cat stretching herself before walking into the bathroom to rub herself on your legs. “Good morning, Aurora,” you cooed at her. She purred in response and ran off to her tower in the living room.

After getting changed into some comfortable clothes, you walked up to a closet in the hallway that had collections of crystals, oils, sage bundles and more. “Let’s see, where did I put the angelica root?” you asked out loud to yourself. Going through the shelves, you pulled some sea salt, ground lemon balm, ground angelica root, and a feather. You carried the items outside in a bowl to your backyard and set them at a small garden table. Walking over to your garden, you pulled some elderberry flowers and started your cleansing spell.

You sprinkled the salt onto a censor dish and placed a charcoal dish on it and lit it up. In the bowl you had used to carry the items out, you started mixing the herbs together as you waited for the charcoal to burn red. Once it did, you sprinkled the herbs on top, creating a cleansing incense. You picked it up from the bottom of the censor dish, picked up the feather and made your way steadily to your front door, lightly wafting smoke towards it. Reaching your front door, you drew a pentagram over it with the feather and smoke,

“Be gone negativity,

Here now blessed be.”

You repeat your incantations throughout the house until you have finished and walked back to your living room, drawing one last pentagram. You placed your feather and censor dish on the bare floor, stood up and tapped your foot three times,

“By my will, so shall it be.

Sealed now shall this cleansing be.”

You sat on your couch and turned on the television, waiting for the incense to burn out so you could scatter it around your backyard. After a couple of hours of watching a guilty pleasure of yours, you decided to get some actual cleaning done. First thing was to do some trimming and gardening outside, so you grabbed some gloves and headed out back to your yard.

Before grabbing your garden scissors, you looked up and saw something rather strange. There was an owl in your neighbors yard. In broad daylight. From the backyard, you heard a car pull in and peeked over the fence to see that it was your neighbor coming home. You ran to the front leaving a dirt trail in your house and ran out the front door.

He hadn’t walked in yet, so you started waving your arm, “Hello! I’m Y/N!”

He had just nodded his head and walked a straight line to his door. Not wanting to lose this chance of having a conversation with him, you yelled for him one more time, “There’s an owl in your yard!” His eyes widened and without a word, he ran into his house in a panic. From a distance, you heard him say 'shit' before closing the door.

Building up confidence, you walked up to his door and knocked a few times and patiently waited. You fixed your hair and stood surprised as he hastily opened the door. “H-hi! It’s so nice to meet you, I'm Y/N,” you stretched your hand out to shake his hand. He looked at it and had a displeased look, causing unease within you. Looking at your hand, you noticed you still had your gardening gloves on with dirt on it.

“Oops, sorry!” you chuckled as you took it off and reached out again.

Again, he just looked at you with a straight face for a couple of seconds before finally speaking, “Look, I’m really busy, so if you don't mind.” He shut the door without giving you any chance to say anything back. You stood there in shock, replaying his British voice in your head. And as you stood there, you wondered why it is that he doesn't want to talk to you. The Charles couple across from your house were able to introduce themselves, and even got a smile from him. But for some reason, you could never get the same treatment.

—

Ian had proposed to Draco a housewarming party during lunch. Of course Draco had never been to one, much less hosted one.

“It’s alright, boss. I can fix all the arrangements up. All you gotta do is relax,” Ashley proposed. To say that Draco is extremely happy is an understatement. He had friends that actually enjoyed his company and not his influence. Not that he had much of that anyway.

America was really working out for him; work was great, people were nice, and the area he lived in was peaceful. Yes, he didn't like his neighbor, but she wasn't ruining his life in this new country. He just didn't like what she did.

“Thank you, Ashley. And you know you can just call me ‘Draco’.”

“I know,” she replied. Ashley grabbed her Blackberry phone and started drafting up an email, asking for his address so she could let people know where it would be. “Is this Friday a good time?”

“Yes, that should be fine. I don't have any plans that day.”

“Great, it's sent out to everyone in our department. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an attending to watch over for a surgery. See you guys later!” Draco, Blaine and Ian waved at Ashley as she left.

Blaine left soon after, leaving Ian with Draco. “Alright man, how’s it going on your street? Are you finally settled in?”

“I finally got the last of my things delivered from London yesterday. I was a bit nervous though. That mugg— I mean No-Maj neighbor of mine saw my mum’s owl in my yard. Thankfully, she didn't ask any questions,” Draco said as he cleared his lunch tray.

“Wait, you still use an owl? Ha, I didn’t think people still did,” Ian chuckled. “Well, of course I do. Do you not?”

“No, most wizards here in the States just use the usual ground post that No-Maj’s use. Things are a bit more modern around here. Speaking of your neighbor actually, have you ever spoken to her?”

Draco shrugged nonchalantly and said a simple ‘No’ when he really wanted to scrunch his nose and eyebrows in disgust and say ‘Fuck no.’ Ian, however, is gifted in Legilimens. He heard what Draco really meant but kept to himself. I guess things are different in the UK he thought.

—

“Hello my dear baby, I just wanted to call and give you a heads up; your brother and I are coming for Thanksgiving. He’s bringing Stephanie so do me a favor, please no witchy stuff.”

The voicemail played out loud in the kitchen. Please no witchy stuff. Your mother had repeatedly explained to you that she was okay with ‘it’ all, but growing up you never really got on the same page with her. And you knew it was because of your practice. Your younger brother would say comments every now and then when you grew up, but he always stood up for you when other people called you a ‘satanic freak’. But never once did you regret starting the Craft. You enjoyed it and it made you feel whole.

It had been a week since your encounter with your, now known British, neighbor. It bothered you a lot that he didn’t seem to want to get to know you. You were lost in your thoughts that you almost didn’t notice the doorbell going off. You answered the door and saw your neighbor.

“Hi dear, do you think you could help me and my husband with something?” Mrs. Charles smiled sweetly at you. “Of course, what can I do for you?”

“My grandson is coming in from Vermont, would it be alright if you could give us a ride to the airport? I’d ask Draco but he’s always busy at work and I don’t want to be a bother.”

Draco? “I’m sorry, who’s that?” you had a confused look.

“Our new neighbor, dear. I thought you had met him already. You two are the same age after all,” she informed you. Draco. How unique. You instantly recognized the name from the star constellation. It was nice to finally put a name to a face. Distracted again, Mrs. Charles waited for your answer, “Y/N? Can you do it?”

“O-oh, sorry. Of course I’ll help. Frankie was his name, correct?”

“Yes, it’s Frankie. Thank you so much. His flight comes in on Friday. I’ll see you then,” you wished her a good night and looked out your window to make sure she crossed the street safely. The rest of the night consisted of you and and your cat laying on your couch watching TV, but what was on the screen didn’t have your attention. Draco did. And you had no idea why.

—

“Dude, why do you not have a TV?” Blaine looked around Draco’s house and studied the arrangements he had. It was quite plain, almost minimalistic. Looking around, Draco couldn’t help but think how different it was from the Manor back in London. Instead of grand chandeliers, moving portraits of the Malfoy’s before him, and intricate designs on the walls, he had simple white walls with just one moving picture of him, Blaise and Theo a couple minutes before a Quidditch game against Ravenclaw. He had a bookshelf full of old school books from Hogwarts and some small relics he liked from the Manor.

“I’ve never had one growing up, and once I moved here I just never gave any second thought of it. Besides, what would I even watch?” Draco replied. Despite having one letter off from being the same name as his best friend, Blaine reminded Draco of Theo. They were both funny and outspoken. He would’ve loved for them to have met. They’d probably get on.

A few moments later, Ashley and Ian knocked on Draco’s door. The door was unlocked for them to be able to open the door. They looked around the living room before settling onto the couches. “Okay so I was thinking that we can just have some trays of snacks and desserts with some champagne. Does that sound good to you guys?” Ashley suggested. They just nodded along to whatever she said. She had gone to the store with Blaine to get everything prepared before the party tonight.

Ian looked at the pictures of Draco with his friends and one of his mother that laid on top of a chimney. “Do you still have lots of friends from Hogwarts?”

Draco thought about it, “You know, I actually didn’t have a lot of friends back in school. Back then, I only hung out with probably six people. But now it’s just two.” He sounded a bit sad, but figured that two were better than none.

“Do you think of what happened a lot?” Ian implied about that day at Hogwarts. He had been the only one that Draco trusted enough to tell. “Sometimes,” Draco gave a short reply. The action of opening up was still new to him, but he knew he shouldn’t wallow in it. Plus he’d rather have a friend instead of a doctor to talk about it.

Ian really felt bad for Draco. It must have been really traumatizing for someone to go through something like that at just the age of 17. Sure, Draco wasn’t the best person at the time. Who is he kidding, he was probably the biggest git in the whole school. It didn’t necessarily mean that he had to go through what he did. He lost one of his friends in a fire, and one left him after said friend died. Another left for no apparent reason. And another wanted something different in her life. Those things affected Draco, and probably will for the rest of his life.

He didn’t pity Draco, but was feeling sympathetic. “Well if it makes you feel any better, I don’t have much friends from Ilvermorny. It sucks now, but hey, down the line you get new ones.” Ian held a fisted hand out, waiting for Draco to bump it. It made him laugh as he bumped Ian’s fist.

Outside, Ian looked out to see a certain neighbor walk to her car. “Hey, is that that chick you were talking about?” Draco looked out the window and saw you grab some things out of your trunk and into your house. “Yeah, that’s her.” Ian never really pressed on Draco to explain why he didn’t like his No-Maj neighbor like he did the elderly couple across the street.

“Well, I gotta say. She’s a sight for sore eyes for a weirdo.” She’s a what? Beyond the nightly activities he had caught you doing on occasion in your bedroom, he never really looked at your face. Or really just at you. But now that Ian mentioned something, he started studying you. She’s not so bad looking— wait, what are you thinking?

By accident, Ian snorted at the words Draco thought. “Did… did I say that out loud?” Draco asked with suspicion in his voice. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t really mean to be invading your mind or anything. It runs in my family,” Ian laughed nervously.

“It’s okay. My godfather was also good at Legilimens and Occlumency. I’m pretty sure he’s heard worse during his classes. Come on, I’ll give you a full tour of the place.”

“If the other rooms are anything like the living room, I’m sure I’ve seen the whole place then,” Ian joked.

“Piss off.” As Ian walked towards the bathroom, Draco looked back outside to see you again. He watched as you helped the Charles couple in your car and drove off to Merlin knows where.

—

The party was rather fun. It lasted until almost 1 in the morning. He thanked Ashley for handling everything and spent the night talking and laughing with his colleagues. Once everyone left, he changed into comfortable sweats and a plain black t-shirt. Out on his bedroom window was Blaise’s owl with a sealed letter. He quickly opened the window, grabbed the letter and looked out to make sure no one was watching. Your room was dark and it seemed as the drapes were down. He guided his friends’ owl with his hands to a small, make-shift owl post against the fence that separated your yards. It had food and was enchanted to be at a comfortable temperature. His owl laid on one side of the post, resting as Blaise’s owl joined it.

Draco opened the letter and read its contents to himself.

Well mate, I’m glad you’re having a good time in America. There’s not much going on here in London. I’m just working at Gringotts until something opens up at the Ministry. Not really sure what I want to do, but I’ll figure it out. Anyways, I think you’ll be pleased to hear that Theo and I are going to be joining you for the holidays. Theo got a hold of a couple American muggle films and he figured that if the women there were as fit as the actresses, then you must be living the best life and he wants to join. As for that muggle neighbor of yours, I can’t wait to see her in person. We’ll see you, Malfoy.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw lights turn on in your room and your shadow walk around before turning off once more. Sorry Blaise, but there’s no way in hell you’ll meet her.

—

Frankie’s flight was delayed, causing you to get home so late. You were extremely tired and your feet and back were sore. Usually, you’d take a bath with some salts and oils to relax yourself, but tonight you were really lazy. So lazy that you just shook your shoes off and plopped yourself on the bed.

The second you hit the mattress, you dozed off. Your mind was wandering and found yourself dreaming.

You sat in your backyard in a pretty sundress. There was a slight breeze in the air and you held a cup of coffee in your hands. Someone sat at the chair opposite you and blocked the sun’s light in your face. You looked next to you and saw your friend smiling at you.

Draco.

—

next chp

(っ◔◡◔)っ taglist: @beiahadid @malfoy-styles-wife @fivenightslaughter @juneballoon999 @leydileyla

[manicr]

X-Factor: Daken

Since I did a development analysis on Daken in X-Men Blue, it feels only reasonable to do one for X-Factor, especially considering the the latest issue (#8). I had thoughts that I articulated in the tags, but I think I should try to put them together and look at Daken as a character in the whole of X-Factor.

Firstly, Daken isn’t recruited into the team, he persistently volunteers despite the objections of the team. He is presented passed out on the bar floor, drinking to deal with his feelings. Word of God states he’s depressive again and Laura being in the Vault is a big factor in that. Daken later confesses that he’s been “playing nice”, implying what he did was trying to be good and finding it a role, rather than natural.  His drive to join the team seems to be desperate to distract himself from his negative feelings, needing purpose and preoccupation.

However, very in-character, he excuses himself with flippant commentary, and the fact that he finds Aurora attractive:

He, as in XMB, makes himself useful to the team with his powers and instincts, despite them not being welcoming of his presence. He persists and tries to reach out to them, even if only a little, like he’s learned to do with his sisters and what we saw in XMB. He even calls them out on their bullshit against him, and tries to “be good”. The team still doesn’t trust him, and are bothered both by his flirtatiousness and his past villainy.

He actively pursues Aurora and gets himself thrown out of Mojo-verse, however his interest isn’t just romantic/sexual, but he wants to solve what happened to her when she died. He knows she’s not telling everything. He tries to be kind and reach out to her, not forcing her to say, but curious -- maybe having his own hypothesis on what happened. He knows something is off, and can’t let it go. Seems to care enough to want to help her.

Now were three issues in and Daken has been trying his best to help, reach out and fit into a team that is not very welcoming or accepting of him. Aurora is a fixed point of interest for him, and he tries especially with her. She seems flattered by the attention at this point.

Then the X of Swords event happens, essentially without Daken though he fights in the background, and we get our first major time-jump. That jump seems noticeable in text, as there seems to be a greater comfort and trust in the team as a whole, not just towards Daken.

At a party in the Boneyard, Daken talks with Polaris, trusting her enough to ask her if the kindness he sees is real It is, and it’s a bit of an alien concept to him still. He equates it with lack of intelligence “simple-mindedness” or faking it as an act to get ahead/mask whatevers beneath. Polaris mentions his childhood trauma.

Daken also takes some ribbing from Lorna regarding his past and glum attitude, but laughs it off, but we get some foreshadowing through it. Daken’s trauma regarding snow is tied together in XF, harking to a Dark Wolverine era trauma of him  as a child being forced to ‘train’ in snow by Romulus. It’ll repeat itself in XF again.

We also get to see a little of what Daken does on his spare time, drawing with charcoal: having finally found some other outlet than fighting, fucking and drinking for his feelings.

He also reaffirms his interest in Aurora, as well as his familial affection for Polaris. He shows off growth in being able to have different types of affection, to have family that he cares for when back in his own series he refused social bonds like family (in ref. to the Fantastic 4) and saw them as based on fear, social obligation, and naivete.

Themes of being trapped, trauma and abuse are repeated in XF by different characters -- it applies to all of them in different ways. The letter “Why didn’t you just leave?” that speaks of this.

It echoes trauma that Daken needed to deal with himself under Romulus control -- even when he was physically away from him. His character arch has been to find himself, and not just flippantly in his eat-prey-killing comment, but also a way out of the trauma of abuse and making himself ‘smaller’ lesser to fit with the living weapon Romulus wanted. To find and dare to feel, to feel worthy, and not fear some punishment from his abuser. Of course, this applies to so many characters in X-F, both sub-textually and directly like with Siryn and Shatterstar.

One of the major relationship changes now in the book is Daken and Northstar’s relationship. Northstar confides and trusts in Daken as a team-mate from previously having refused it. Daken in turn takes his orders and seems to want that trust:

This culminates in Northstar rescuing Daken when he was trapped and beaten by the Morrigan. And according to Aurora, Northstar is behaving towards Daken as a person he doesn’t want to lose, by yelling for him and checking on him. He explicitly cares for Daken now, even with the protectiveness he still feels for Aurora. The dying in the snow theme repeats it self.

Then there is Daken and Auroras long conversation about his powers, her feelings and his feelings. He reveals the limits of his skills and she insists on understanding, which seems to make him feel better about it. She empathizes with the burden of his skills, seeing the drawbacks.

There’s a lot of subtext regarding his relationship with his own powers, he outwardly uses them shamelessly but at the same time this implies that it’s far more fumbling, uncertain and emotionally harrowing for him. And that he’s willing to see that and feel that rather than see it as his right to do whatever or refuse his powers utterly.

The Morrigan fight is overlayed with a speech about trauma, highlighting how it directly relates to Daken. He’s traumatized. He’s been abused. He’s been rewired to be dysfunctional, to hide his pain and the suffering. And it makes him feel worthless, unloved, and that no one cares, has never cared.

Later, Daken acknowledges how poorly he felt, how helpless, and how suicidal it made him feel. Even if he thinks its hypnosis rather than his own real feelings. His description fit in with depression and trauma-related issues, the feeling over never reaching shore, of drowning, and helplessness combined with the negative-self talk, that no one cares, loves him, or will be there for him since he’s worthless and a burden. But also how he looks to Aurora for comfort to deal with that.

Generally this issue irons out issues of consent, the genuineness of both their feelings as well as Daken being more like a real friend and family member to the team, but also about revealing his trauma. To show that he is not alright, despite his flippant flirty exterior. He struggles with his past, his trauma and his feelings about himself, and the belief that he deserves to be loved, cared for and to belong. This is repeated in issue #8 which hammers these themes home once more. Daken is not alright, but he wants to be.

This is growth from early Daken who didn’t even want to admit to himself that he was abused and molded by Romulus, and using rage and hurting others as a way of dealing with his own feelings, as well as using others and himself because it didn’t matter, he didn’t and no one else did either.

The in the snow theme is repeated and his fervent desire to be saved, from everything, himself as well as everything and everyone that might harm him. He seems to believe that being loved by Aurora will save him. Which is not the healthiest approach to dealing with trauma but a very common one, latching onto other people, because he doesn’t yet have the sense of self or self-worth to believe in it unless someone else does too. This for most people a necessary step towards growing and getting better.

He also is still stuck in the abuse-trauma-victim cycle and blaming himself for being harmed, seeing that he’s somehow not being good enough and that’s why he’s being hurt. “I’ll be good” are the words of someone who has been hurt over and over again by someone who made them believe they somehow deserved it. That they were ‘bad’ and needed to be punished.

...then he is faced with the fact that he truly does believe this about himself, that he’s not over it, that he’s not yet free or saved from the feelings that the trauma left behind.

But then... he dies, self-sacrificing to save his team mates and the information they carry, knowingly risking up to a week of his memory and experiences. He uses Aurora as a morality pet, to prompt himself into action, excessive such even.

He is resurrected without the memory of any of this to the point BEFORE Northstar came for him. He knows he lost that. He knows from reports that he lost things, even if not the extent of it, and now the hurt and pain from DAYS in the snow is fresh again, without any help from Aurora to process it nor knowing for certain that she loves him, without being proved that his team cares and came for him in the end. He might now the latter in paper, but that’s not the same emotionally speaking.

So, he’s angry. He knows he’s lost things, he’s been hurt and killed. But he doesn’t have the comfort of resolving these things with his team like he did, not with his habit of hiding his pain, and feeling like a burden. So he fights instead.

So, where have we ended up at the end of issue #8 of X-Factor?

Daken has been accepted by his team, because of all of HIS hard work, reaching out and kindness

Daken has opened up about his powers and his suffering (though lost half of it to the mind transfer time gap)

He has established a relationship with Aurora with clear consent, affection, but not yet full transparency of their mutual pasts (again some lost from his perspective)

He is starting to realize that he’s not yet ‘over’ his own trauma and that he’ll need to continue working on it (some lost)

Daken isn’t a perfect character nor perfectly written, he was abused and shaped by that abuse and trauma into something vicious, that he didn’t dare change from for a long time. Instead he tried to enjoy it, to revel in it, rather than face the pain and grow. He hurt and killed a lot of people, including himself, and it’s takes years of development for him to start to grow past that old self. Getting away from Romulus was only the first step.

He needed people to make him see how fucked up he was and to motivate him to be better, from Johnny back in Dark Avengers, then Laura and Gabby, and then trying on his own, attaching to Donna for a while, before teaming up with the X-Men and then X-Factor and Aurora as support for himself. It’s pretty clear that on his own, he can’t do it, he needs help, support, structure and purpose -- as do the majority of people. I’d also recommend therapy, but he’s not there yet.

One day he might stand on his own feet when it comes to feeling good about himself and managing his own life. But right now he’s in a place where he needs a strong support system, not just his family and lovers but also friends.

[sheadre]

Aurora Borealis (Jiang Cheng x Reader) Part Four

Summary: Zhu Ran'En (Reader) the imperial princess, was sent into exile for a crime she did not commit. Meeting Jiang Wanyin, the Yunmeng Jiang sect’s leader was not just a chance meeting. Their fates were written in the stars however, her relations to the royal family will never let her live in peace. How will she manage to save the kingdom while trying to keep Jiang Wanyin away from the snakes of the royal family?

Word count: 2502

Warnings: fluff, romance, idiots in love, awkward flirting, blood and violence later

Previous Chapter - Series Masterlist

The morning breeze felt nice against your skin as you stood in the doorway of your room. It was surprising how easily you were buttering up to Jiang Wanyin. You haven’t noticed when you started smiling at him when you crossed paths. He still seemed annoyed most of the time but the slight blush on his cheeks occasionally made your heart flutter in your chest. He was definitely one of a kind. Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-Jun both stayed in Yunmeng helping with planning the defense when the rebellious army would arrive.

They were all experienced in battle so most of the work was theirs while you gave them information about the three generals. You were skilled in getting information from anyone. It was fascinating how easily a man’s tongue would spill the secrets once a pretty lady shows interest in them. Sending Lili to coax those information out of men was always a good decision. You were already grateful for Lili’s help, she was an enigma. It always shocked you how she changed into a completely different person once she needed to. Usually, she was a quiet, dutiful young lady but when it came to missions you sent her on, she changed into a boisterous courtesan in seconds on the spot or any character she needed to. Sending her out to gather information all alone always made you worried though. She only had her knife with her but somehow, she always got out of every situation. You looked to your right seeing her form approaching you quietly.

“Your highness, I am ready to go” she spoke up from your side as she lowered into a bow. She was dressed to take off for the journey you tasked her with. Her small face and delicate figure deceived anyone especially with how you made her dress like a noble lady. You stretched your arm out and grabbed her wrist gently. Looking deeply into her eyes, you wished her a safe journey. At the thought of harm coming to her, your heart clenched in worry and pain. You promised yourself you would keep her safe once you brought her down with yourself. She was out of control of her fate, she depended on you completely back in the palace and now outside of it. Your eyes looked at her trying to make sure she will do as you told her.

“You know what you have to do once you encounter any danger” you whispered. “Don’t hesitate, Lili.”

“But-“

“No, Lili… promise your mistress that you will do as told” you insisted. She was too important for you to let her get into trouble. She almost lost her father for a simple little mistake, you won’t let her family lose her because she helped the fallen princess. You won’t drag down anyone else with you.

Lili nodded solemnly with her eyebrows furrowed but her lips were sealed. You watched her leave Yunmeng with a heavy heart, worry etched onto your face. You decided to let her go once she was safe and everything was settled. She deserved a happy life, a loving husband and children. Serving the fallen princess wouldn’t give her that but you had a hunch that she would try and protest. You sighed heavily and closed the doors of your room.

Days passed quickly, you spent most of your time with Jiang Wanyin to the elders’ delight. It was funny how they were hoping for a blossoming romance and the promise of heirs. You knew they were concerned about the future of the sect and you couldn’t really blame them. In the Imperial Court, the Emperor had a bunch of ministers to prepare that part of his life. You didn’t believe that counting mathematically these things would ensure a good future. Especially with how Zhu HuaJin and the second prince ended up.

Back in the palace you always thought you would be married off to some other prince or noble man. No one really picked your interest back then but honestly, you never really looked for romance. Your days were filled with trying to avoid getting killed. You never really admitted after you left the palace but… you were living a much more tranquil and balanced life out here. Maybe going back would be a mistake. You were no longer a part of it, you could simply disappear and never look back, turn your back on them. Could you?

“Are you even listening, your highness?” suddenly Jiang Wanyin’s angry voice brought you back from the ocean of your thoughts. Your head quickly turned to him as you blinked and smiled sheepishly at him.

“Nope”

You saw the vein on his forehead visibly throb especially after Wei Wuxian’s howling laughter at your reply. Your eyes flitted to Hanguang-Jun who sported a small, almost invisible smile. It was fascinating to see how his features changed from such a small thing.

“Why are you even here if you’re not listening to a word I-“

“I didn’t mean to be rude, Jiang sect leader” you sighed interrupting him. You knew pulling on a mock-concerned expression on your face would only fuel his anger but you had to do it to emphasize the fact you were jesting. “I am simply troubled by the thought of my cousin and the second prince’s reign over the court.”

“The quicker we defeat the rebellion, the sooner you can get back to court, your highness” Wanyin replied crossing his arms in front of his chest. “And we do that if you listen carefully to the plans otherwise you will run around the battlefield without a clue what you’re supposed to do, your highness.” You narrowed your eyes at him pointing a finger at him as you walked up to him. He kept looking down at you with his chin tilted up as you stepped so close to him. Then you grinned at him playfully.

“Jiang Wanyin, you just want me out of your hair, right?” you poked him in the shoulder playfully and distinctly heard Wei Wuxian whisper: “Get married already…”

“Ha, finally we understand each other, your highness! I want nothing more than for you to leave Yunmeng and let us simple people live our lives!” the sect leader huffed making you chuckle.

“Oh, I would return to you after I got rid of those bastards, don’t you worry” you grinned at him making him blush furiously. Your finger drawing a line across his jawline as you smirked at him while purring: “After all, the elders are already planning our wedding.”

“Who- Who would-“ the sect leader wasn’t even able to finish his sentence in his anger and embarrassment. While he sputtered trying to find his words, you leaned up on the tip of your toes and pressed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“You would definitely like that” you winked at him and left the room quickly. The blush on your cheeks betrayed you as you tried to pretend to be calm. His skin was so soft against your lips. You smiled with your heart trembling in your chest. Maybe in another life… you could be someone he could marry.

Training became a normality to you besides you were relishing in the way Jiang Wanyin was staring at you from somewhere he thought you couldn’t see him. Everyone was surprised by your skills in swordsmanship and you couldn’t blame them. It wasn’t usual that an imperial princess could use a sword properly. You picked it up while no one paid attention to you back in the palace otherwise the eunuchs along with the princess dowager would’ve been so pissed off you wouldn’t have gotten out of your room for the rest of your life.

You stopped hitting the dummy with your sword and lowered it to your side. You panted softly as memories were haunting you. Every time you thought about Zhu HuaJin or the second prince, you were moments from going on a rampage in your fury. Then your ears perked up at the soft rustling of dry leaves.

“Jiang sect leader, if you want to play, you should just come out and ask” you spoke up your lips pulling into a mischievous smirk. As you turned to him, you noticed the slightly taken aback, cautious expression the angry grape had. You knew you had to calm yourself so you sighed exaggeratedly before pouting. “Please, please, come play with me, Jiang sect leader!”

“What was that?” he asked hesitant to take a step closer to you. His face showed how serious he was being. Your heart jumped into your throat and you felt a thin layer of sweat forming on your forehead. Did he see anything? Did he see any of your true power? “What were you doing just now?”

“What do you mean?” you asked back feigning confusion. He saw it… or at least a glimpse of it and if he did… he must be terrified of you now. Then his expression changed, anger turning his handsome face into a terrifying mask. You felt like his anger alone could make the world turn dark and stormy. His hand grabbed your wrist and pulled on it roughly so you lost your balance almost falling into his chest. You looked up at him startled, eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about! Show me!” Jiang Wanyin shook you violently and let you go, almost tossing you back. Wobbling on your feet you barely managed to steady yourself.

“Wanyin… it is not what you think it is” you tried to explain but you knew he wouldn’t listen to you. “I-“

“Show it to me!” he cried out startling you again and you knew servants and disciples must’ve heard him too. You exhaled defeatedly, closing your eyes you let the power course through your body. You feared to reveal your true self for a reason. You could only hope that he will understand.

Jiang Cheng’s PoV.

The sect leader watched her many times, training with the dummies and her skills were surprisingly good. He would’ve never thought a princess from the imperial court would be able to wield a sword. Her beauty sometimes caught him off guard making him stare at her for too long. Today was another occasion to keep an eye on the princess but Jiang Wanyin didn’t expect to see what he saw.

The dark glow around her body as she practiced grew darker and stronger the angrier she got. He watched her with bated breath waiting for something but she stopped right when something could’ve happened lifting her head. His eyes widened when he saw her (e/c) eyes glow with an eerie emerald green. Her features though looked solemn, devastated, pained. His feet moved on his own, drawing her attention and her eyes quickly turned back to the way they were, the darkness around her receded back to her body.

“Jiang sect leader, if you want to play, you should just come out and ask” she greeted him with her signature mischievous smirk but it seemed off. It was so different even if it looked the same. His heart was pounding in his ribcage as he watched her. “Please, please, come play with me, Jiang sect leader!”

“What was that?” he asked hesitant to take a step closer to her. He needed answers, his mind was flooded with questions as he looked at her. “What were you doing just now?”

“What do you mean?” Zhu Ran’En asked back, her beautiful face a mask of confusion but Jiang Cheng knew she was aware of what he wanted from her. That mask of hers she always pulled on when she was in a tight situation, it wasn’t as perfect as she thought. Maybe it worked on the residents of the palace but he has seen a Jin Guangyao level schemer. Jiang Wanyin could see her face change as she saw his rage showing on his features. He gritted his teeth angrily because even now, even in such a situation she tried to hide something from him. They were partners in this, he trusted her enough to let her pull him into her plans. His hand grabbed her wrist and pulled on it roughly so she lost her balance almost falling into his chest. Zhu Ran’En looked up at him startled, her eyes wide and lips slightly parted. “You know exactly what I’m talking about! Show me!” Jiang Wanyin shook her violently and let her go, almost tossing her back.

“Wanyin… it is not what you think it is” she tried to explain her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She looked miserable compared to the way she looked when all that power was unleashed from her body. She looked deathly, now? Now she looked weak and pathetic. Jiang Cheng felt sorry for her in a way but he couldn’t stand anymore secrets and lies. “I-“

“Show it to me!” he cried out startling her again. Zhu Ran’En raised to her full height while sighing defeatedly and closed her eyes. He was ready to see it and fight. If she was a threat, she wouldn’t stand a chance against three powerful cultivators along with the many disciples.

Black and green mist engulfed her body completely before she opened her eyes which were glowing with the same green light. He watched her transform with wide eyes before the mist lifted from her form revealing a dark green scaled dragon. Its scales were so deep green that they almost looked black, like the midnight sky. He only noticed her body curling around him in the small courtyard when the mist completely dissolved.

“Wanyin… let me explain… please” her voice startled him as the large dragon lowered its head and averted its gaze from him like it was… embarrassed? “I was cursed before I was sent into exile. I was begging for power to the Heavens, I was begging for them to give me power in exchange of anything they could want. I begged them because I wanted to protect my little sister… she’s in danger living in the palace all alone.”

“What curse?” Jiang Cheng whispered as he stared at the magnificent creature in front of him.

“I am to roam the world until eternity for the protection of the innocent” she answered truthfully. “And I need your help with that, Wanyin…”

Then the dragon lit up with blinding green light and disappeared. He had to close his eyes so he wouldn’t be blinded and when he opened them again, he saw Zhu Ran’En standing in front of him. For the first time he spotted her, she looked small and weak, like a porcelain doll that could break by a simple touch to it. He could tell she was frightened and when he reached out, she took a step back startled.

“You need my help” he said with a firm tone. His palm facing the heavens as he beckoned her towards him. “Then I will help.”

To be continued…

[lucas-koh]

Stitches - Bryce Lahela x MC V

Parts 1-4 are linked in my bio.

Doesn’t exactly follow canon, but elements of canon. FWB.

Song: Sudden Desire - Hayley Williams

Rating: M; implied sex, sexual language, swearing, mentions of medical procedures

Word Count: 3305

Taglist: @lahellacute @lahamseiroshoe @anotherbeingsworld @fuseboxmusebox @choicesficwriterscreations @bubblelaureno @bratzlahela

Chapter Five: The Tale and The Missed Moment

Bryce and Suki’s Fuck Buddy Agreement:

1. No work-place hookups.

2. No staying the night.

3. Always use the signal. 👃

4. No drunk texting a sober person.

5. No visible marks.

6. Proof of sexual health.

7. Keep it casual.

—-

Santa Fe: this is Suki hello

Santa Fe: i’ve sent the list

Scalpel Jockey: 👃

Santa Fe: that’s it, 👃

Scalpel Jockey: 👄

Scalpel Jockey: shit I meant 👃

Scalpel Jockey: big thumbs oops!

Seen on 15th October

—-

The following weeks felt like months. Work was long, it was stressful, and it was exhausting. Sometimes all Suki wanted to do was curl up into a ball in bed and sleep for as long as possible, letting the stress of working long hours in hospital compress out of her. Sometimes, she wanted to bundle up on the sofa and watch movies with her roommates. But sometimes, Suki wanted to release her tension in other ways. Ways that involved Bryce Lahela.

They left before the morning, were careful with their grip and kisses so as to not leave any marks, and they kept work at work. The arrangement was working out perfectly, and the rules proved successful as well.

So, on paper, everything was going fine.

And everything was still fine when Halloween rolled around and the roommates planned a relaxed evening at Donahue’s followed by horror movies. They didn’t really get a chance to dress up due to work schedules and a lack of time, but they were dressed up in spirit.

They arrived early and snagged a booth: Jackie and Suki squeezing in on one side and Sienna and Aurora on the other. Elijah wheeled his chair under the head of the table. They chatted for a bit before Sienna jumped up to order a round.

A few beers and shots (courtesy of Jackie) later, the group were having some in depth conversations, making jokes, and generally enjoying each others company.

There was a rowdy, annoying group of surgical interns stood nearby the entrance. No sign of Bryce there, however. Suki was somewhat disappointed, it was an amusing thought to her to see Bryce out the open again since they’d made their rules. She’d been to his a couple of times since then, but they hadn’t seen each other all that much really. Those times had been quick and at the end of long work days too, so Suki was looking forward to being able to draw things out a bit more at some point soon. She’d been quite obviously avoiding hookups at her house if it could be helped, because there were too many risk factors.

Plus, with him being a surgeon his hours were completely different to Suki’s, and actually stealing moments could prove tricky. She might’ve been one of the best medical interns, but word at Edenbrook was that Bryce was excelling over all the surgical interns, actually being able to watch a few surgeries, too.

That being said, she was glad he wasn’t there. She was able to enjoy a lovely evening with her roommates without thinking about only her carnal desires.

But as though the world was sending her a sign, the bell over the door rang to indicate someone entering. Bryce entered by himself, walking straight past the rowdy group of surgical interns and heading right for the roommates. He was wearing a plain black tee and distressed blue jeans, a very different look to his green scrubs.

What was he doing here, if not to see the surgical interns? Had he come to drink… alone? Or had one of the roommates told him they’d be there? They had invited him to the housewarming party, after all.

Then again, if it wasn’t for that party, they never would have come to their little agreement.

There was a knowing smirk on his face as he got closer to the group.

Suki felt her stomach contract a little; they hadn’t really interacted that much as a group since the two had devised their little plan. She wasn’t going to let anything slip, but she couldn’t promise she wouldn’t be maybe a little awkward. Just a tad.

“Hey man! Come join us,” Elijah invited. Bryce grinned and squeezed in beside Suki on the bench.

She cleared her throat uncomfortably, not looking Bryce in the eye as she gave a greeting nod. His leg pressed against hers where they sat, and he was now so close that Suki could smell his cologne. Of course, nowadays, she only smelt that when they were having sex, so the smell brought her head right back to all those moments.

“Don’t you have friends over there?” Suki asked, motioning her head to where the group of surgical interns were congregated. They were now laughing obnoxiously about something.

An odd expression flashed over his face suddenly but was quickly warped into a smirk. “Well I’d rather spend time with you lovely nose wipers.”

“Oi!” Protested Jackie.

“Welcome! Enjoy our Halloween celebrations. They’re pretty lowkey this year, I wish we could all dress up and go to a party or something but, work calls,” Sienna rushed, smiling at Bryce opposite her.

Now that he was closer, and his hands lay casually on the table in front of him, Suki could see a few silver rings assorted over his long fingers. Interesting. She had an impulse to reach out and brush her fingers over them, or to have them dig into her own fingers, her body. And from that moment, she was screwed for the rest of the night. Serves you right for being so goddamn thirsty.

A few hours later, more drinks down and the thoughts having continued through her head, Suki nudged Bryce gently with her shoulder. They’d all been talking as a group for the night, so they hadn’t spoken one-on-one at all yet. He looked over at her, his face pretty close due to them sitting in such proximity. She brushed her nose with her middle finger - she could pass it off as a simple scratch. Bryce smirked. His eyes flicked subtlety down to Suki’s lips, and he chuckled under his breath, moving a thumb over his bottom lip and hanging his head when he looked away from her.

Just as he was about to slide off the bench and make up an excuse to leave, Sienna shouted:

“Guys! According to google maps there’s a walking ghost tour nearby. We should go!”

“I’m kinda spent-“ Bryce began.

“No! No way you’re bailing on this, Lahela. You’re one of us ‘nose wipers’ now. We bought you drinks!” Sienna cut him off, her sweet features contorting into mock anger.

He blew air from his cheeks, but he didn’t seem annoyed. “Is everyone going?”

“I… guess?” Added Suki.

“I’m… not sure,” hesitated Elijah.

“They’re not scary, Elijah. It’s just a load of paranormal bullshit,” Jackie said.

After a bit of coaxing and a couple more shots, the group headed out of Donahue’s. They walked down a few roads before they found a man in a long leather coat holding a lantern. Sienna bounded up to him and handed him some money, the others pointing out they’d pay her back later. He introduced himself as Henry and noted that they’d wait for some more people.

Bryce and Suki kept glancing at each-other, knowing their previous plans were probably not likely to happen. Nonetheless, Sienna’s excitement was rubbing off on everyone, and even Elijah seemed into the idea. Jackie and Aurora were discussing whether or not they believed in ghosts.

Soon enough, a large group had formed around Henry, and he went into an animated sing-songy tale about the ghost history around that area of Boston.

“And in this very alley…” Henry said dramatically a little later, “is where the ghost resides. AH!” Henry let out a loud shout, causing Suki to jump back into Aurora.

“You okay?” Aurora laughed. Suki nodded with a flustered chuckle, then Henry continued leading them down the road.

Well, that wasn’t at all embarrassing.

“Awwww, don’t tell me you’re scared, Santa Fe?” Bryce sidled up beside her.

“Of course I’m not scared!” She protested, “it’s easy to be shocked by a jump scare,” she turned her face ever so slightly, obstructing the tell-tale look on her face from Bryce’s gaze.

Henry was a fantastic story teller, emphasising the right parts and using his face and body to convey the different emotions; the group found themselves being swept up in the story. Or, facts, if one believed in the supernatural. Things were calming down a little in terms of the group being freaked out, and every now and again Bryce would lean over to Suki and whisper some kind of commentary about Henry’s story. She could just tell he was the type to talk through movies. But she didn’t mind, and actually found it quite amusing.

Then, just seconds later, a young group of guys were walking past and noticed the ghost tour, and simultaneously jumped and shouted at the touring group. It was a poor attempt to scare them. At this, however, Bryce himself yelped loudly and backed into Suki. She caught him, even though he was heavy.

“Awww, don’t tell me you’re scared, Scalpel Jockey? And of teenagers?” Suki mocked in an echo of his words before, holding the backs of his biceps in support. He had no jacket on, so his arms were chilly and she could feel the faint goosebumps on his skin. She found herself hoping her grip might warm him up a little. She was a doctor, after all. After a few seconds Suki let go of Bryce and the two scrambled a little to catch up with the group.

“How was I supposed to know they were just kids?!”

Suki threw her head back with a cackle as the image of Bryce cowering away from a group of teenage boys replayed in her mind. She raised an eyebrow at him, pulling her lips into her mouth.

“I wasn’t scared, obviously. No ones scared of teenagers. Well, maybe those people Gerard Way was talking about,” he laughed, his cocky demeanour flooding back into his words and face.

“And old people. Actually – lots of people find teenagers scary.”

“Well, not me.”

“Wouldn’t have pegged you as an MCR kid, though.”

“Only on the down-low,” he gave her a wink, “I was far too cool for that at school.”

“Right,” she scoffed, “Just too cool. Cool enough that you basically shat yourself at a random guy fucking with us.”

“You jumped a minute ago!”

“Yeah, along with half the tour group.”

He harrumphed. She shoved him playfully with her shoulder, partly as part of the conversation, but partly to put a little distance between them. There was still some alcohol lurking in her system and she just wanted to pull him into the alley from before, but, she couldn’t. He didn’t come closer again after the nudge.

“Shhh!” Chastised Jackie from in front of them, who was utterly engaged in Henry’s commentary. Bryce and Suki exchanged a look and tried to keep their laughter as quiet as possible.

—-

Later on, the group were walking up toward their apartment, discussing the night’s events. Everyone had a great time, even if it might not have been the Halloween they were all used to. They walked in a staggered lump, moving fluidly between each-other. Their voices carried down the empty Boston residential blocks, yellowed streetlights illuminating their smiling faces, setting the mood for the comedown of the night perfectly.

“…The Shining, duh. And we can’t forget The Conjuring, or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. These are classics, Aurora,” Elijah babbled along to the group.

“I vote Halloweentown,” piped up Sienna. Aurora laughed and dug her keys out of her pocket.

“Bryce, you coming in for movies?” Asked Elijah.

“Ah,” he looked over at Suki very briefly, “best not. It might be Halloween but I don’t function well on no sleep. Plus, I’ve intruded for long enough.”

Suki knew that if Bryce stayed there was every chance he’d be ending the night in her bedroom, and she’d been avoiding that since the Aurora situation.

“Killjoy,” chuckled Jackie, giving him a friendly smack on the back before entering the apartment building.

“See you next time!” Sienna pulled Bryce in for a hug, her tiny frame dwarfed by his six odd feet and broad stature. Elijah and Aurora chimed in with their farewells.

“Well… goodnight then,” nodded Suki. She didn’t go in for any kind of farewell, it wasn’t really their style. Particularly not in the company of others.

“Yeah. See you around.”

There was a moment where they kind of stared at each-other that felt like it went on for hours, but in reality was brief.

And with that, Bryce walked off down the road. There was an odd pang in Suki’s chest at the missed opportunity as she watched his figure get smaller and smaller. She’d been waiting since she’d given him the signal at Donahue’s for a chance to sneak off, trying not to look at him too much during the ghost tour or walk too close to him. There was just something ridiculously engaging about paying too much attention to Bryce Lahela that made her lose all her other thoughts. Even if she didn’t really want him to come in given everyone else, there was a sort of disappointment that he hadn’t seemed to want to come in. He’d only given her the briefest look and there was no signal, no attempt to continue the night. But it obviously just wasn’t in the cards for her to get laid that night.

That being said, Suki had enjoyed herself way more than she’d anticipated: the tour itself was entertaining, and of course spending time with her friends. And… Bryce wasn’t all that bad. Maybe sex wasn’t all he was good for. But either way, she couldn’t let herself get too tangled up in the other aspects of his personality, it would get messy.

“Come on then,” Sienna ushered the rest of them inside.

—-

“Hey,” Bryce’s voice rose up from behind where Suki sat eating a sandwich in the cafeteria. She turned to face him, bread stuffed in her mouth, and followed him with her eyes as he took the seat opposite her.

“Hmi,” she tried to say through her mouthful.

He barked out a laugh and pulled a shiny red apple from his pocket, flipping it round in his hands.

“When you’ve finished your mouthful,” he wiggled his eyebrows, “you free tonight?”

“Yeah, why?”

He gave her a disbelieving smirk. “You know why.” He took a casual bite from the apple, the crisp crunch ringing in her ears over the ruckus of the cafeteria.

She laughed, realising. “Sorry, still in Doctor mode. You could’ve texted, you know.”

“Eh, you were here, I needed a seat to eat my apple in. So?”

“Yeah, I’m free. I’ll drop by after my shift.”

“Cool.” He took another crunch from his apple and stood from the table, gave Suki a nod, and then swaggered off out of the cafeteria without a look back.

“See ya,” she muttered to herself.

Didn’t he just say he wanted to sit down and eat his apple?

—-

Suki exhaled breathlessly as Bryce rolled away from her body. They were both left in a sheen of sweat and exhausted. After a couple of moments for the duo to catch their breath, Bryce turned to face his body to her, propping his head up on his hand.

“So, not to be a bed brag or anything but… you just had sex with the guy who’s assisting on Dr Tanaka’s next surgery.”

Suki let out a breathy chuckle.

“You are a brag.” Then she turned so that she faced him from the other pillow, also propping up her head on her hand, “Well done, though.” Her voice went softer, and her face took on a disarming sincerity.

Bryce was taken aback by her genuine praise, but he couldn’t let her know that.

“Thanks,” he said, eyebrows furrowed with humour, “I’m actually really excited.”

“What’s the surgery?”

“Only an appendectomy.”

“Only?”

He laughed, sinking his head back down onto the pillow. His hands cradled under his head.

“Yeah, it’s not particularly advanced. Still, gonna be fun.”

They were talking as though they were friends, which wasn’t really a label Suki had felt appropriate to ascribe to their relationship.

“When is it?” Suki, stop asking him questions! Then again, at this point it would be awkward if she just up and left.

“Next week. Pencil it in your calendar because you are going to have the best sex of your life that night.”

Suki let out a cackle. “Is there anything you don’t think you’re amazing at?”

Again, Bryce propped himself back up so that he was facing Suki. There seemed to be a restlessness to all this changing of positions.

“I’m not lying though, am I?” As he said this his voice was low and sultry, deep mahogany eyes watching her from under his lashes. Those were sticking together slightly from the sweat, Suki was close enough to notice. He brought one of his hands down under the covers and rested it on Suki’s hip.

“If you’re trying to get me to boost your ego - It won’t work.”

He smirked, knowing that the answer he’d been looking for was hidden in those words. And she did agree. He was amazing in bed.

Bryce drew barely-there circles on Suki’s hip, before pulling it towards him. Then he leaned his face right in, so that it was inches from hers.

“I don’t need you to say it because I can see it in your eyes,” and yes, he was looking straight into her eyes. But she felt sort of drunkenly infatuated with it, her desire growing by the second. “and feel it on your skin.” His grip on her hip tightened, the sweat condensing between their skin-on-skin contact. Now they were close enough that they could do it all over again if they wanted to.

Bryce trailed his finger up from Suki’s hip slowly, tickling her skin and giving her goosebumps, over the dip of her waist, the rise of her ribcage; all the way up to her neck. He splayed his hand out flat over the front of her neck, and tightened his grip. Just enough that she could feel it. Face still inches from her, he said:

“I just have an effect on people.”

And then in one swift movement, and a melodious laugh, Bryce pulled his hand and his body from hers, falling once again on his back at the pillow beside Suki’s.

Fucking hell. Talk about flustered! Suki tried to pretend she was unaffected, also flopping back onto her pillow. He did have an effect on people and he knew full well by now that Suki, despite her best efforts to conceal the fact, was not someone who handled being flustered well. And let’s be honest, she wouldn’t keep sleeping with the guy if it wasn’t something she was enjoying.

Despite that, though, there she was, lying in Bryce’s bed post-lay and completely naked, and not worrying about it. Not in the way she’d worried their first morning, shuffling to cover herself with her bedsheets. She supposed by now he knew her body inside and out, and that emotional intimacy she’d been scared of had warped into a purely carnal intimacy. Plus, the fact that she hadn’t just woken up next to him, slightly hungover, probably helped.

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that,” she practically choked out, as though his hand was still splayed over her neck.

He could tell he’d affected her, and that classic smirk spread wider over his face as he stared at his bedroom ceiling.

[saneatsrice]

choi san: loving the babysitter pt. 1

summary: san needs community service hours in order to keep his position on the school basketball team and y/n needs money to help pay off the debt left behind by her father, what are the odds of them starting a romantic journey at a daycare center?

pairing: basketball player! san x babysitter! reader

warning: none

author’s note: I came up with this idea through an AU generator because I was in a writing mood but had no clue what to write LOLL, let me know if you want this to be a series because I have a few ideas but I’m not sure if I should continue writing this. also, it’s currently unedited because I’m lazy and brain dead but I’ll fix it later I swear! please enjoy :))

word count: 6052

y/n has a lot of weight to carry over her shoulders for a high school student. throughout her high school journey, she has had to carry out countless part time jobs in order to help her mother pay off the debt her father had left behind after gambling away their life savings and then fleeing the country, causing the two women to work in order to stop it from growing. this year being her last year of high school, y/n has to think about her future and how she will be able to pay off the additional college tuition once she graduates this year and begins applying for grants and scholarships. however, after getting fired from her last job, finding a new job that is accepting of her schedule due to school is immensely difficult.

as she was giving up hope, y/n came across a sign as she was walking home from school that read treasure daycare and saw a sign on the window of the small building that said “looking for babysitters”.

y/n being desperate to help with the family income and building up a savings account for her college funds, she decided there wasn’t any harm in applying. as she look through the window to see if anyone was in the building, her eyes landed on three toddlers sitting on the fluffy carpet. there were two little boys who were playing with blocks and laughing every time they accidentally knocked down the structure. however, the third little boy was sitting alone on the edge of the carpet drawing little shapes into the floor. soon y/n’s eyes land on tall figure with brown hair and a puppy-like face. y/n recognized him as yunho from her economics class, a boy who always knew how to make everyone smile and laugh even when they are having a bad day. yunho waves from the inside and runs to the sliding door to open it for y/n to enter. 

“hello y/n, what brings you here?” yunho asked while having that award winning smile on his face. 

y/n smiles back at yunho and replies, “I saw that sign on the door and was wondering who should I talk to in order to apply for the job”.

yunho beckons the girl to come into the room and leaders her to the middle of the room. “you can sit there while I go get my manager” yunho says while pointing to a plastic, toddler sized chair which causes y/n to laugh and walk towards the tiny seat to rest. As yunho goes, into the back room, she sees the two boys who were previously playing with the blocks, run over to her full of energy.

“hi my name is wooyoung and this is my best friend yeosang”, the little boy with purple hair says with a smile on his face while intertwining his small chubby hand with the little brown haired boy next to him.

“hello, what is your name?” the brown haired boy asked while hiding behind his wooyoung which did not help him any as he was taller than wooyoung. 

“my name is y/n and I hope I will be able to work here and get to know you two cuties” y/n replies with a smile on her face, wanting nothing more than to squish the two little boys’ cheeks due to their look of awestruck as they think about the potential of having another babysitter to play with.

soon yunho comes back into the room with an older man who has black hair following behind him looking as serious as ever. it honestly scared y/n a little bit along with wooyoung and yeosang as they ran to hide behind y/n’s side and hugged her on each side. the mysterious man realizes there are still children present and his eyes turn into a more gentle manner.

“i am sorry for scaring you kids, my name is park seonghwa, I am the manager at treasure daycare, I heard from yunho you wanted to apply for a job here, is that true?” seonghwa asked.

“yes, I was hoping to find a job to be able to sustain a family income in order to help my mom and college tuition is not getting any cheaper, so I am willing to take any job possible to help out my family” y/n replied while putting her arms around the two kids who have yet to let go of her. 

“well I can see the kiddos have already taken a liking to you and yunho really took his time begging me to hire you while bragging about how responsible you are and all that positive stuff to me so you’re hired” seonghwa says chuckling once he sees yunho turn red and whining to him about how he wasn’t supposed to tell y/n that.

after y/n thanked him, seonghwa began explaining the expectations for the babysitting job along with giving y/n her schedule. he mentioned how there were only three kids that y/n would ever have to take care of and entertain.

y/n quickly warms up to wooyoung and yeosang on her first day as they drag her off to play with them immediate but continues to look at the third child and wonders why he never joins them to play games or why he sits on the far end of the table by himself away from the other kids. he only sticks to seonghwa who seems to be the only one who is capable of getting him out of his bubble. 

after wooyoung and yeosang is picked up by wooyoung’s brother hongjoong who came after attending his afternoon class, y/n decided it was time to make an attempt to get closer to the unknown baby. as y/n approached the baby, he began to crawl away from her clutching onto his apple tightly as if he has been wanting to eat it but can’t bite through the hard shell. 

“hey buddy, did you want me to cut the apple for you?” y/n asked after watching him struggle to break the apple in half for a few minutes.

the little boy nods and hands y/n the apple where she holds the apple in the middle and breaks it in half perfectly. the boy looks at her in awe and for the first time, she saw him smile as she hands him the apple for him to munch on. 

“what is your name little boy?” y/n asks after she sees him happily take small bites out of the apple and smiles when he looks up at her with a shocked expression. 

“jongho,” the little boy replies giving her a gummy smile after getting the attention he lacks outside of the daycare center, but that story is for another time.

after that encounter, jongho began to open up more to y/n and created a strong relationship with her as he began to babble and speak the few words he knew to communicate with her. she used her time at the center to be able to teach jongho more words, basic knowledge a toddler should know before hitting preschool, and how to find joy in little activities such as drawing, running around the playground, and even breaking apples in half because he seemed super excited every time y/n did it. although y/n still made the efforts to spend time with wooyoung and yeosang, she felt more drawn to jongho as she spent most of her time with him to make sure he never felt neglected or alone in the daycare center. 

she began to notice how every time jongho’s brother came to pick him up, jongho’s smile would turn into a frown and his eyebrows become more knitted showing that he was irritated. y/n knew jongho’s brother from school as he was in her economics and english class and he is most well known for being the captain of Utopia High School basketball team. jongho’s brother was none other than the infamous choi san, who always had a cute eye smile around school that showcased his prominent dimples and his determination and serious face when he is on the court. 

san never uttered a word to y/n whenever he came to pick up jongho. he would just grab the pen with an irritated look on his face, sign his name in order to check jongho out of the daycare, grab jongho’s stuff, and walk out the daycare center with jongho attempting to keep up with his brother’s much longer legs. however, before leaving the door, jongho never failed to give y/n a hug and dig his face into her shoulder when she lifted him up so she did not have to crouch to his height and strain her back. 

everyday became a routine for y/n, she would always walk to school with her best friend mingi, who always made sure she had her breakfast and caught her up on notes that she may have missed due to stressing over her family situation. after school was over, she would walk to the treasure daycare and take care of the three toddlers she has created a soft spot for, especially jongho, and wait until all the kids are picked up by their guardian, and cleans and locks up the place with whoever seems to be working the same shift as her (most of the time it’s seonghwa). 

y/n loves her job as she adores the three adorable children she gets to play and nurture as they grow older and socialize with her two fellow coworkers which she later learned are just softies despite their tall statures. y/n learned how seonghwa is currently attending Aurora University along with hongjoong and works in the daycare center in order to earn money to pay off his college debt. she learned how yunho was san’s best friend and would’ve played basketball with him if it did not involve so much aggression and violence and thus, his friendly giant nature was better served in the daycare center where he could earn his community service hours and play with kids who share the same happy-go-lucky personality he has. the babysitting trio begins to get to know each other better and establish strong friendships. little did they know, their trio would soon be gaining another person. 

choi san spends all his time practicing basketball in order to improve his skills and due to the fact that he is a candidate for a basketball scholarship as aurora university, he does not want to lose the opportunity of obtaining it. all his time goes to practicing that he neglects his other scholarly requirements to graduate, specifically, community service hours. due to his lack of community service hours, the administration building asserts to san that if he cannot earn at least fifty hours by the time basketball season starts, they will take away his title as captain of the basketball team, which gives him a disadvantage in receiving his scholarship.

thinking quickly, he runs to find his best friend yunho on campus to seek advice on what he should do. he quickly spots the six foot giant about to exit the school gates and sprints to him, who stops abruptly after hearing loud footsteps and causes the basketball captain to run into his back.

“oh hey san, why are you on the floor? is it that comfy?” yunho asks with a goofy smile on his face while his best friend is fuming while rubbing his slightly red nose.

“who just stops in the middle of an entrance yunho?! anyways that’s not the point, the administration office just talked to me about lacking community service hours and told me if I don’t get fifty hours by the time basketball season starts, which is in three months, they’re going to take my captain title away from me. no captain title means bye bye scholarship, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!” san begins rambling and pulling at his hair without getting up from the ground.

“okay calm down, look, I think the babysitting center that I volunteer at still has one slot open where you can volunteer, it’s five days a week for like four maybe five hours. before you start worrying about your practice days, seonghwa is pretty lenient on shift hours. even with missing the few days basketball practice is on, it is enough to be able to get you to have an abundant amount of hours to clear fifty by the time the basketball season starts. plus after your shift, you can just pick up jongho afterwards and go straight home” yunho replies in the midst of san’s panic which causes san’s eyes to light up as he jumps up and koala hugs yunho, not caring about the weird stares he was getting from the other students who were leaving school.

“I have never loved your clumsy, giant self more than I do right now. what are we waiting for, let’s go to the daycare center” san says in an excited manner, while clinging onto yunho.

“uhh, can you get off me first?” yunho asks feeling uncomfortable after finally noticing the stares the pair were getting from their student body. 

the two begin their walk to the daycare center and when the open the door, they see seonghwa attempting to clean up after wooyoung and yeosang who continue to get paint all over the table. however, san’s eyes immediately goes to the girl holding his little brother in her lap as he holds a blue color pencil in his left hand, drawing quietly.

y/n look up and asks, “are you here to pick up jongho already? you’re a lot earlier than usual.” all while tilting her head in a confused manner and holding the little boy who looks grumpy at the sight of his brother and turns to hold onto y/n’s neck, resting his head on her shoulder in a direction where he cannot see his brother.

“actually no, I was hoping there was another opening for the job here because I need a lot of community service hours for school”, san replies which caught seonghwa’s attention as he tosses the rag to yunho asking him to clean up the paint and pulls san to the back room to talk to him.

in the back room, seonghwa drags san to sit in a chair, his nurturing, child friend persona gone, as his face turns into one of a strict, militant leader. (I don’t know how to put links to gifs on tumblr but just imagine like wonderland seonghwa’s stage presence LOL).

“I understand how much basketball means to you, but i do not want you to neglect your duties at treasure daycare because of it. these kids are too pure for the world and deserves all the love and attention, if you can’t do that, you can find somewhere else to get your hours. these kids mean everything to me and if you as so much make them cry or put aside their feelings, I will not hesitate to fire you and hit you with my broom.” seonghwa says effectively scaring san as he hears him gulp his saliva nervously while nodding in a quick manner, wanting to go back out to main room as soon as possible. 

seonghwa moves to walk back to the room where everyone else was and changes his face back to his motherly persona. he walks towards y/n and puts his arms out, signalling y/n to hand jongho over to him. obeying his command, y/n places jongho in his arms and in response, jongho wraps his arms around seonghwa.

“y/n, I need you to train the newbie. I would but there is just too much to clean around here and if it’s not spotless in the next hour I will lose my mind. this mess is not good for my mental state and makes me incapable of dealing with stupid people today so please handle the newbie for me” seonghwa commands while rubbing his temples.

y/n nods and gives jongho a kiss on the forehead before going to the back room to find san. she finds him except he looks like he’s seen a ghost. she then approaches him and taps his should which he in turns screams about how he understands and to not get the broom. y/n confused as ever begins by introducing herself.

“hello san, my name is y/n, you may or may not know me from your economics or english class but seonghwa wants me to train you for your job here”, y/n says while smiling at the boy who is finally regaining his sanity after his little outburst.

san reaches to shake her hand and then introduces himself, still recovering from the verbal beating he had gotten from seonghwa without y/n’s knowledge of what had occurred in the back room as of recently. 

for the rest of the day y/n is describing the certain tasks that san will have to take on during his shift from washing the dirty dishes, setting up the cots for nap time, and playing with the three toddlers, much to jongho’s dismay. the more y/n was around san, the more she noticed how uninterested he was in working at the daycare center, as he was mostly staring out the window or the clock wondering when he can finally go home. seonghwa had asked y/n to lock up after she left as he had a night class today and yunho had taken the kids outside to watch the sunset and have a small picnic in the yard. as they were the only two in the room, she thought maybe conversing with him would make him feel more comfortable working at the daycare center. 

“so I heard you’re really good at basketball, how’s that going?” y/n asked while smiling at the boy who had snapped out of his daze out the window.

“I could be at the basketball court right now instead of here with a bunch of children and dirty dishes” san mumbled which caused y/n to frown at his attitude.

“but looking past the dirty dishes, this place is amazing. they have the cutest kids who have the warmest hearts and brightest smiles. I am so thankful that seonghwa hired me as I got the opportunity to meet the sweetest kids and the most amazing coworkers”, y/n says optimistically, her resolve beginning to break after dealing with san for the past five hours.

“these kids wouldn’t know what working hard is like, I waste my time here doing everything for them instead of them learning to do it themselves” san mumbles in reply which is becomes y/n’s breaking point.

“that’s it. I am so fed up with your stupid grumpy attitude. I tried so hard to get you to warm up and make you enjoy your job. but you only think about yourself and what your interests are. can’t you be selfless for once in your damn life and think about someone other than yourself. you have no idea what it is like to work for the benefit of helping others as all you think about is your stupid basketball. you try having to work countless job to be able to provide for your family and paying of the debt your father created after he left your mom to deal with. that is the life I am trying to keep these kids from experiencing. if constantly babying them prevents them from going through what I had to as a child, I would sacrifice anything for them to never have to even see what that life is like” y/n says with a ferocity that san has never seen, it was incomparable to the most aggressive basketball players he’s seen. the difference was behind y/n’s eyes there was a hint of pain behind them.

y/n threw down the rag she was holding from cleaning the water around the sink and walked out the back room, as far from san as possible. she walked outside towards yunho and the kids with an irritated look on her face. jongho noticing her distress, waddles his way to her and hugs her legs as a way of comfort. y/n picks him up and hugs him, trying her hardest not to cry at the thought of jongho, wooyoung, and yeosang having to go through the experience she had as a child. yunho notices y/n on the verge of tears and begins worrying for her and asks, “y/n, are you feeling alright?”

y/n uses her arm that was not carrying jongho to wipe the tears borderline from falling from her eyes. “yes, I just got a little frustrated with san, training him made me a little stressed out” y/n replied feeling jongho tighten his grip on her at the mention of his brother’s name.  

“san is really hard headed at times and doesn’t think about anything but basketball, but deep down, he’s super nice goofball who’s just buried under a lot of stress” yunho reasoned while cleaning up the paper plates and plastic utensils the kids had used to eat during their picnic.

y/n began patting jongho’s back as he was dosing of on her shoulder, nuzzling himself into the crook of her neck. she noticed someone was staring at her and looked towards the sliding door. she saw san standing by the window looking in her direction, specifically at his little brother asleep on her shoulder with a little drool sticking out of his mouth. he opened the sliding door and walked towards the pair. he noticed how his y/n’s face turned colder the closer he came towards her and his little brother. he sat down next to y/n as she tried to avoid eye contact with him as much as possible, turned her body away from the star basketball player, and clutched onto jongho tighter in order to comfort herself.

“listen y/n I’m sorry, I had no idea what you went through in your childhood years. I was being insensitive to your feelings and generosity while you were training me. I really appreciate you taking time out of playing with the kids to be able to make me a better worker. I also want to apologize for being so selfish and only thinking about my basketball career when I have three other children to care for now. I will try to be a better babysitter and take the workload off your shoulders and hopefully work my way up to being your friend eventually if you allow me to”, san said while pouting and looking down at the grass that suddenly seemed like the most interesting thing in the world. 

y/n smiled and scooted closer to san. with her free hand that was not holding onto jongho, she put her hand on his should in order to comfort and coax him out of his guilt. “I understand how much basketball means to you and how passionate you are in pursuing your hobbies, I guess I forgot what it was like to enjoy your favorite activities and took it a little too hard on you. after my dad left, I had to give up drawing and art classes as it became too expensive for my mom to pay for. I guess I had to grow up a lot faster than the kids around me and I was never allowed to develop a passion that I could really enjoy. that’s why when I started working here, I wanted wooyoung, yeosang, and jongho to never have to grow up faster than they need to and find things they can enjoy for themselves, instead of having fate choose their paths for them,” y/n said sadly while looking at san, trying her hardest not to let any tears fall.

san closed the space between him and y/n and pulled her into a side hug as best he could as it was hard to due to the fact that he did not want to wake up his little brother that was in her other arm. when y/n was in san’s arms, she used her one arm to awkwardly pat his shoulder as a sign that she forgave him for his rotten attitude from earlier and acknowledges his attempt in comforting her. she leaned her head onto his shoulder and let her tears fall freely as she began having flashbacks of her father packing his suitcases and leaving her and her mother with a large amount of debt for the two to pay off. 

san began noticing his sweater getting wet and hugged onto her tighter, letting her use his sweater as her personal tissue, not minding the amount of tears and snot that was being spilled on it. he began to rub her back and whispered the best comforting words he could as he has never been in a situation where he had to make a girl feel better since he has spent all his time playing basketball. the closest thing he’s had to a girlfriend was his basketball for christ sake. y/n began giggling at his efforts to get her stop crying and lifted her face for san to see her beautiful smile to which he returned with his closed eyed smiles that showed his adorable dimples.

in the distance however, yunho was holding wooyoung and yeosang in both his arms awkwardly, not knowing whether he should interrupt the potential romantic moment to tell them to go inside before they start getting mosquito bites or leave them alone to have their moment and take the other two boys inside before they freeze their little toddler bums off. he looked at wooyoung who was smiling at the scene in front of them and then looked at yeosang who was hiding his face in yunho’s hoodie afraid that he will see the two kiss, causing san catch cooties from y/n. 

deciding to go with the poor boy hiding , he moves his face towards the mop of brown hair hiding in his hoodie he loudly whispers in his ear “is telling them to go inside the daycare center the move?” causing the little yeosang to lift his head to look at yunho in question.

wooyoung catching onto what yunho was saying immediately, decides to make an executive decision without consulting his fellow third wheelers by screaming, “SAN, Y/N, YUNHO THINKS THAT YOU SHOULD STOP SHARING COOTIES AND COME INSIDE BEFORE THE LITTLE BUGGIES GIVE YOU OUCHIES!!” leaving yunho to face palm and yeosang to follow yunho’s action only for him to whine when he hit his forehead a little too hard, causing yunho to move his hand to lightly rub the poor boy’s red spot on his forehead. 

this made y/n and san turn their head towards the giant babysitter sitting on picnic blanket with the two toddlers on each thigh. wooyoung bouncing with a proud aura around him, thinking he was being a big boy and helping yunho take charge. while yeosang had little tears in his eyes as the impact of hitting his forehead too hard was finally setting in, making a stinging feeling spread through his head. 

meanwhile, jongho wakes up from wooyoung’s loud voice and lets out a whine as he rubs the sleep from his eyes with his little chubby baby fists. his eyes land on y/n above him to which he readjusts his grip on her neck reaches up to kiss her cheek. he then turns to look next to y/n where he spots his brother with his arms around y/n. seeing this, jongho springs to action by reaching towards his brother and using his little hand to push his brother’s face away from y/n. due to the force of little jongho’s hands, san ended up falling backwards, his head landing into a puddle of mud. y/n cringed a little at the poor boy’s predicament while the other four boys began laughing pointing at san’s now muddy hair, with yunho laughing the loudest of the bunch. 

y/n stood up with jongho in her arm and used her free arm to reach out and help san stand to his feet. as soon as san stood up, he could feel the muddy water slide down his sweater and small amounts of mud makes its way down his face. seeing the mud continue to travel all over san, yunho began laughing even louder and harder, adding in a couple of knee slaps.

“oh seonghwa is not going to be happy if you come into the center like that. he’ll go crazy in the morning when he sees how much mud you’ve brought into the center and dirtying his perfect white carpet,” y/n said, looking at the boy guiltily, while jongho who was facing away from his brother had a mischievous smile on his face as he leaned his cheek onto y/n’s shoulder.  

once yunho calmed down from his laughing fit and wiped the tears forming in his eyes, he stood up with the two kids still in his arms and walked towards to daycare center to find some towels to help his best friend dry off and clean up at least a little bit before he went home.

as the three third wheelers made their way into the daycare center, san, y/n, and jongho were left outside. san and y/n continued to stare at each other, while jongho glared at his older brother for taking y/n’s attention away from him. 

“I really appreciate you manning up and apologizing to me san, it was a really mature thing of you to do”, y/n says smiling in his direction causing san to smile back in return. 

the three outside then hears footsteps approaching the daycare center. they look up and see hongjoong walking towards them, coming to pick up wooyoung and yeosang. as hongjoong got closer, he noticed san, began smiling, and running up to the boy until he notices the boy is covered in mud and cringes.

“hello san, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you! hope the basketball team is doing well under your leadership.” hongjoong greets the muddy boy while smiling brightly.

hongjoong and san have been friends for years as hongjoong was the previous basketball team captain at Utopia High School before he graduated and passed on his legacy to san. san regularly goes to hongjoong to seek advice on certain problems that are plaguing his mind and take a toll on his mental state.

san smiles replies, “it’s been good, I’ve fallen behind on my community service hours so I am trying to catch up on them by working at the daycare center. if I don’t hit fifty hours in three months, they’re taking away my captain title”. 

hongjoong nods in understanding and then waves at y/n and making small conversation with her as he looks in the window to see yunho helping wooyoung and yeosang pack their belongings into their backpack, getting ready to go home. soon, wooyoung and yeosang make their way outside towards hongjoong who gives them each a hug and holds their hand. 

“give me second kiddos, I have to sign you both out and then we can head home” hongjoong says to the kids in a gentle manner as he makes his way towards the daycare center and grabs the pen yunho is holding to sign the binder.

hongjoong then gives the pen back to yunho and goes back to grab both wooyoung and yeosang’s hand once again and lead them to his car to drive them home. as yunho, y/n, san, and jongho watches hongjoong drive away from the daycare center, yunho throws a towel at san which he catches with ease, with yunho screaming at him to get as much mud off as possible before seonghwa kills all of them. rolling his eyes, san wipes as much of the mud off as possible until the pristine white towel was completely different shades of brown. y/n then grabs the towel from san and hands him jongho and goes into the daycare center to place the towel into the dirty hamper filled with dish rags and the kiddo’s dirty painting aprons. 

san goes towards the door where yunho is waiting with the sign out binder with a pen, trying his best to hold in his laugh as the mud had dried up san’s hair to where it looks like dry ramen. san rolls his eyes and snatches the pen away from yunho and signs the sign out sheet next to jongho’s name. as soon as he is done signing, y/n comes out of the back room with her stuff, cheering about how she is ready to go home after a long day. yunho goes to turn off all the lights and makes sure the place is spotless clean to ensure that seonghwa will not scold them when he comes to open the daycare center the next day. after turning off the lights, the last remaining four humans at the daycare center leave the building and y/n uses the key seonghwa gave her to lock the front door and goes around the back to lock the back door as well. 

“well, I’m going to head off first, I haven’t done the economics homework in the past week so I have a lot of catching up to do, see you tomorrow” yunho blurts out in the awkward silence and begins sprinting down the pavement towards the direction of his home causing san, y/n, and jongho to laugh at the boy.

san looks towards y/n with jongho in his arms and speaks up. “thank you for training me today y/n, even though I am probably the most difficult trainee you have ever had to deal with” he says while rubbing the back of his neck with jongho pouting as he wanted to be held by y/n.

“well considering you’re the only trainee I’ve had to train here, I would say you’re the best and worst trainee I’ve ever had to tolerate” y/n replies giggling.

jongho lets out a whine in san’s arms and attempts to reach for y/n to the best of his small body’s abilities. “hey jongho, what’s the matter with you, you’ve cuddled y/n enough for today, we have to go home for dinner before mom yells at us for being home late,” san scolds the boy causing him to whine louder.

y/n reaches for jongho to hold him and explains to san, “jongho has a somewhat ritual that he has to do before leaving the daycare center, where he always wants a hug from me before he leaves, no matter how late you two are running. I really don’t mind anyways since I love hugs and jongho just looks super happy after getting his hug” while rubbing jongho’s back to calm him down as jongho squeezes onto y/n tighter. 

after their little hug, y/n hands jongho back to san where the three walks away from the daycare center and part ways to make their journey back to their respective homes. 

as san is walking with jongho asleep in his arms towards their home, he begins thinking about how working at the daycare center may not be as bad as he originally thought, especially with his best friend yunho there to entertain him and y/n who could potential be a good friend of his if he plays his cards right. he felt as if y/n and him had some kind of connection on the grass and felt proud that he could comfort a girl that way crying after spending his whole life with a basketball as his soulmate. with all these thoughts running through his head, there was one big question that was plaguing his mind at that very moment:

did yunho really just cockblock me?

[edensbuttercups]

Golden Lights Sequel - Part one

Pairing: Jaskier x reader Word count: 1.5k Set after Golden Lights, so here’s the link if you haven’t read it yet! x A/N: And here we go again! (Am I ever going to stop opening my author’s notes with this Mamma Mia reference? Who knows!) Finally ended up writing this after so many delays, but now that I’ve finally finished school (I’m no longer a student! I’m going to start working in September! Am I an adult now? Help!) I have more time on my hands to write and draw and all of that jazz, so hopefully I’ll be extra productive.   Anyway, back to the chapter, this is more of a little filler between the last part and the next, since I didn’t just want to jump from baby Aurora to teenage Aurora. So, I hope you like it! Big hugs to everyone! (I’m feeling super full of love rn and I won’t hesitate to hug every single one of you) i feel like the ending isn’t perfect, but I really don’t know how to end it aaah

Life isn’t always made of big moments, but of small moments that feel big. 

You were singing under your breath as you stirred a mixture in the bowl, ready to bake a delicious lemon pie to celebrate the summer solstice. You had planned a small gathering, inviting Geralt and Myristica over and, no matter if you saw them every couple of days, today felt different, magical, full of life and happiness. Jaskier had left early that morning, lute in hand, placing a kiss on your lips and twirling Aurora in his arms for a moment, promising to be back before Geralt and Myristica arrived. He had been asked to play for the opening of the day’s celebrations, and he didn’t hesitate to accept, gladly taking the job and practicing everyday alongside Aurora, a glow of confidence and proudness irradiating from him as she moved to the sound of his songs, babbling and laughing along.  You spun around, placing the cake to bake and looking out in your garden, spotting your daughter as she studied a butterfly. You watched as she crawled closer, following the small creature with her eyes, before pulling herself up on her feet and taking a couple of uncertain steps before falling back to the floor. You smiled and hurried over, picking her up in your arms.  “Good work, dear! Your first steps! Wait until we tell your dad about it, he’s going to be thrilled!”  She cooed happily, struggling to get out of your arms the moment she saw Geralt and Myristica on their way over, followed by a very chatty Jaskier. She steadied herself, holding tight to your leg and waiting for them to get closer, before quickly placing one foot in front of the other and rushing over to them, falling down once more a few meters away. Everyone exclaimed, picking her up and showering her in praise, dancing around and singing, starting the day’s celebrations in the best possible way. 

“Like this, Aurora.” he said, softly moving her fingers so that she could play the right chord. “There you go! Now strum and… yes! There you go! Perfect!” he shouted, enthusiastically lifting his hands up and beaming with proudness. “Da… da.” she sang, strumming along. You turned your head and faced Jaskier, both of your eyes wide. “Say... that again.” He asked, hopeful. “Dada!” She exclaimed, quickly strumming on the lute before putting her hands up in the air and placing them on Jaskier’s face. “Oh my. Oh my. I’m dada!” Jaskier turned to you, a few tears escaping from his eyes as he jumped up, enveloping you in a hug and spinning you around.  “You are!” you hugged him, smiling, letting him go after a moment and kneeling down in front of your daughter. “Good job, Aurora! Now, he’s ‘dada’ and I’m…” you gestured vaguely at yourself, hoping she'd say the word you wanted to hear. “Dada!”  “Yes, but I am…” you tried again, your hope slowly starting to slip away. “Dada!” She said again, jumping up into Jaskier’s arms and resting her head under his chin. And you really wanted to pretend to be annoyed, but seeing them together like that made it impossible, melting your expression into a smile as you walked towards them, joining the hug. 

You stood up, hearing the heavy footsteps that characterized Geralt’s walking, making your way towards the entrance.  “Geralt, Myristica!” you exclaimed walking over to them, quickly hugging them both. “How are you?” you asked, but they didn’t get the chance to answer as Aurora quickly bounced into the room, running into the Witcher’s arms.  “Uncle Geralt!” she called out before jumping up and hugging him, sneakily placing a lily in his hair. “You look pretty now.” she confirmed, nodding enthusiastically.  “She clearly has a favourite.” Myristica said, placing a hand on your girls back.  “Oh, she loves you both. He simply has a cool armor and sword, and she’s been fascinated by that recently. She wants to be just like her uncle Geralt.”  “She does?” he asked, turning his attention to you before looking into Aurora’s eyes for confirmation.  “I do!” she said, nodding happily. “Will you teach me? I have a big stick in the garden, that’s my sword!”  “Is that alright with you?” “Go ahead, Geralt. And have fun!” you shouted as Aurora dragged Geralt out of the door, ready for the fight.  “And there you go. You now have a little Witcher-Bard daughter.” Myristica laughed, peering out of the window to look at the two fighters. You laughed and leaned out, studying Aurora’s fast movements and Geralt’s confused expression. He easily avoided every hit, but didn’t dare to attack back, afraid of hurting Aurora.  “Come on, Geralt, show her what you’ve got!” you shouted, lifting your hands up to cheer him on. He stumbled back, his eyes shooting up to meet yours just as Aurora swung her stick down on his foot, making him fall. His eyes slipped from a scared look to a confident one, slipping away and waltzing behind her back, pushing her feet forward and catching her in his arms, gently resting her on the ground as his hands tickled her, a victorious grin painted on his face.  You felt two hands slide around your waist, a soft kiss placed on your cheek. You smiled at your husband, nodding towards your daughter. “What’s going on here?” Jaskier asked, taking a few steps into the garden, hands lifted up in defence. “We’re fighting! Geralt’s the best at fighting.”  “Oh, is he?” you couldn’t see his face from where you were standing, but you were sure there was a mischievous tainting his eyes. You watched as he offered a hand to Aurora, pulling her up into a hug and placing her down on a small log.  “Geralt, care for a fight?”  “What?”  “Exactly what I said. Care for a fight?” he repeated, meeting the Witcher’s eyes and smiling maliciously.  “Jaskier, I just don’t think that-” but he didn’t get to finish, a swift move making him fall yet again.  “Hmm.” he grunted, looking up to the sky. “Had enough?” the bard laughed, smiling at Aurora before circling back around, meeting the Witcher’s amused glare. “You caught me off guard, Jaskier”  “Shouldn’t a Witcher be always on guard?” He smiled, offering his hand to the Witcher and pulling him up.  “Good point.” he laughed, lunging forward and taking the bard down, the two of them shuffling on the floor like kids, playfully fighting.  “Come on Jaskier!” You cheered, jumping up and down with your daughter joining in soon after.  You watched as the two shuffled around, your husband eventually lifting his arms up in victory while the Witcher laid on the ground, laughing happily. “Dada won!” Aurora cheered, running over into his arms. “He sure did,” said Geralt, taking the chance to wink at Myristica, making her laugh and wink back, “but I’m still the best with sword fighting. So, whenever you want to learn how to swing that sword, come to me.”  “And if you want to learn how to fight one-on-one, come to me” Jaskier winked, pointing at his chest with a proud smile.  “I’m going to be the best fighter!” she exclaimed, opening her arms to welcome Geralt in the hug. “Even better than me?” he dared ask, laughing as he joined the hug. “Even better than you. And I’m going to be the best at playing the lute too!”  “Absolutely not. I’ll allow you to be as good as me, and that’s very generous of me, but better? No. After all, how can you be better than perfect, it just doesn’t make-”  “Jaskier.”  “Right.” he cleared his throat, opening his arms to welcome you and Myristica in the hug that they were sharing.  “Are you two beautiful women going to join us?” You nodded, reaching for Myristica’s hand and dragging her along. You placed a light kiss on Jaskier’s lips when you reached him, your foreheads resting together for a moment before you both came back to reality, letting go and moving inside, leaving Aurora to practice her sword fighting skills with Myristica and Geralt.  “I didn’t know you could fight.” you smiled, pushing his shoulder lightly.  “I’m not only good at playing the lute, darling.”  “Hmm. And where did you learn to fight so well?”  “I know how to say stupid things at the right time, and then I know how to get my way out of stupid situations. Also, I’m a pretty good actor and, surprisingly, Geralt is too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a pretty decent fighter, but I doubt I’d be actually able to take down a Witcher” he laughed, raising his hands in nonchalance, glancing outside to your daughter, smiling happily, winking at you before running back out, lifting his arms over his head and pretending to be a monster, running around and avoiding some attacks before theatrically falling on the ground, defeated. 

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 2: Chapter 14

The CMAs: November 2016

Word count: 2.7k

SkyFire 2 MASTERLIST

>Instagram posts

Aurora had slowly been increasing the amount of time she wore her prosthetic every day in anticipation of the upcoming CMAs. While she wasn’t ashamed of her body and had even recently posted a selfie on Instagram of her stump without the compression stocking, she wanted to be able to wear the prosthetic on the red carpet and throughout the entire evening. She’d explained all of this to Ben during a check-up and he had helped to create a schedule for her to slowly build up to a full evening. Despite her impatience she understood the need for hesitancy after Ben had explained the risk of pressure sores. She had also found that the transmitting device that sat behind her ear would start to give her a headache around the two hour mark and Tony and Peter were currently working to solve that problem.

A week before the CMAs, Harry took Aurora out to her favourite Gallery, the Acquavella on the Upper East Side and they wandered the familiar halls hand in hand. After confessing how much she loved the gallery during Harry’s first visit to see her in New York, he had made a point of bringing her here whenever he was in town, although they tried to come at odd times in the middle of the week to avoid the crowds.

“One day I want to have a piece hanging on these walls,” Aurora murmured as they walked.

“You will,” Harry replied, kissing the top of her head where she lent it against his shoulder. She smiled at the confidence of his statement, so sure in his belief of her.

They wandered the gallery for a little while longer before leaving and crossing 5th Avenue into Central Park. They strolled through the park, beanies tugged over their heads and scarves wrapped tightly around their necks to ward off the autumn chill. The sky was gloomy and no one they passed by recognized them as they meandered along. They were nearly to the southwest corner of the park, Avengers Tower looming into the sky above them when the darkening clouds opened above them and the rained poured down. Aurora let out a shriek, quickly followed by peals of laughter, which Harry echoed and they both wordlessly let go of each other to take off running. By the time they stepped into the lobby of the tower they were drenched and laughing. As the strode towards the elevator, Aurora slipped on the polished tiles, throwing out her arm to save her fall as she tipped backwards. Unfortunately, it was her left hand and the impact ricocheted up through the socket of the prosthesis and into the stump of her forearm. She let out a strained hiss of pain, her right hand clutching at her elbow as she sat on the floor, grateful that the rain still clinging to her skin masked the presence of tears on her cheeks. Harry helped her to her feet and moved them both towards the elevator.

“I’m fine,” she whispered. “It was just a little slip H.”

“You’re not fine, let me see,” he murmured in reply. She kept telling him she was fine until the elevator reached the penthouse and they both headed for her rooms. “Ok let’s just get showered and changed into something dry,” Harry conceded once it was abundantly clear she wasn’t going to admit to the pain radiating up her arm.

Aurora choked back a sob as she removed her prosthesis, the skin beneath an angry shade of red. She stripped out of her soaking wet clothes and followed Harry into the bathroom where he was already standing under the hot water. He stepped aside to let her under the water, his hands gently resting on her hips and his chest pressed against her back.

“Don’t shut me out,” he whispered, pressing kisses against her shoulder as the shower pelted down on them. “Please don’t pretend everything’s ok when I know it isn’t.”

As the warm water cascaded over her body and Harry continued to whisper against her skin, she felt herself beginning to tremble. Once the first sob broke, Harry quickly spun her around to face him, holding her tightly against his chest. When her knees buckled, he kept her standing, reaching out with one hand to turn off the shower before wrapping towels around them both and carrying Aurora out of the bathroom. He laid them both down on the bed and held her tightly as her shaking soften and her sobs eased.

“Let me see it,” he said when she finally fell silent. He held his breath as she held out her right arm, dark bruises already forming across her pale skin.  “JARVIS? I need you to call Dr. Walker and Ben Sherman. Set up an appointment for the morning.”

“Right away Mr. Styles.”

“I’m gonna go get you some painkillers and then we’ll just stay in here and watch a movie ok?” he told her. She nodded, moving back from where she was curled up against him to let him stand, pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before leaving the room. While he was gone Aurora climbed off the bed, letting her towel fall to the floor before slipping into a comfortable pair of shorts and one of Harry’s shirts. She climbed back into the bed, flicking through Netflix while she waited.

Harry returned a little while later with a  tray of food. He placed it on the bedside table before joining Aurora under the covers. Once he was comfortably settled against the headboard, he passed her a glass of water and a few pills which she gladly took, swallowing quickly before placing the glass on her own bedside table. Harry placed the tray between them on the bed and Aurora looked at him questioningly as she took in the plates of pasta and large slices of chocolate cake.

“Steve was cooking dinner when I got to the kitchen,” he explained. “Told him you weren’t feeling well and we’re spending the night in.”

She thanked him, leaning into his side as she rested her bowl on her lap and dug in. a generic romcom playing on the screen at the foot of the bed. By the time they’d finished eating, the painkillers were taking effect and Aurora found her eyes growing heavy as she curled further into Harry’s arms. He kissed her head, shifting them both so that they were lying down beneath the duvet and within minutes she had drifted off to sleep.

They woke the following morning to JARVIS informing them that both Dr Walker and Ben Sherman would meet them in the med bay downstairs in an hour. They dressed and ate a quick breakfast in the kitchen before heading downstairs.

Harry watched on as Dr Walker and Ben both inspected Aurora’s arm, using the med bay equipment to take an x-ray as well as an ultrasound.

Ben looked at her arm, pressing against the stump until Aurora winced. “You have a bone bruise,” Dr Walker announced, “but it’s nothing too serious.”

“How do we fix it?” Aurora asked, her gaze flicking between the two of them.

“We’ll get you some painkillers and you can use heat packs to deal with the discomfort,” Ben replied. “It should heal up on its own after a few weeks of rest, but you need to avoid using your prosthetic until it’s completely healed.”

“A few weeks?” she gasped. “No, I’m supposed to perform at the CMAs next week.”

“Are you supposed to be playing?” Ben asked her gently, sensing her panic.

“No, just singing,” Aurora explained. “I just wasn’t expecting to be on a stage that big without this.” She gestured to the prosthetic hand, sitting on the table beside them. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

“Hey,” Harry interrupted softly, drawing Auroras attention to his calm face. His eyes swam with all the love and affection he felt for her and she found her breathing levelling out. The panic left her in the wake of his confident expression. “If you’re not ready to go out there without it, we call Mark right now and cancel. But I think you are beautiful. No one watching is going to see anything less than a strong, brave woman, who is an incredible singer.”

“My dress doesn’t have sleeves,” Aurora replied, her brain focusing on the smaller issues in an attempt to stave off the panic building in her chest.

“We could get you another dress,” Harry chuckled, “but think of what it would mean to all of those kids we’ve been visiting. Imagine them watching on tv as you stand up in front of everyone, without shame, without the need to hide.”

“Hadn’t thought of that,” Rori mumbled. “It would mean the world to them.”

“No pressure,” Harry said, “but I think this could be a really important step for you.”

xXx

Aurora flew to Tennessee on her own, while Harry remained in New York to continue working on his album and also allowing her to focus on rehearsals without him interjecting. This was her thing and he didn’t want to feel like he was trying to steal her thunder. He would fly in the morning of the awards allowing plenty of time to get ready before walking the red carpet with her.

She spent the few days leading up to the show in rehearsals with Rascal Flatts, her excitement for the awards show growing the closer it got. Before she knew it,  Wednesday rolled around and Harry flew in just after lunch time. They met up at the hotel, and with the help of their hair and makeup teams they got dressed and ready to go. Aurora had decided against changing her dress and instead stuck with her original choice of a sleek, black strapless cocktail dress with a tight skirt that hugged her curves, ending midway down her thighs. Harry chose to keep his own outfit simple, opting for a form fitting black suit, with a black collared shirt. The bruising on her arm had began to fade over the last few days now a soft yellowing of her skin was the only sign that anything had happened.

Aurora found her nerves growing as their car arrived at the Bridgestone Arena. Harry climbed out first, buttoning his jacket and then holding out his hand to help her out of the car. He squeezed her hand as the car drove away and the couple smiled brightly as camera’s flashed around them. They made their way down the red carpet, Harry’s hand rarely leaving Aurora’s as she gripped his tightly. He only let go for brief moments when they stopped occasionally for interviews and photos, before finally reaching the venue and stepping inside, away from the prying eyes of the media. Ushers directed them to their seats, where they found Rascal Flatts and their wives waiting for them. Harry shook hands with the boys and kissed the wives on the cheeks, while Aurora received hugs from everyone.

Towards the end of the show, while the live broadcast was in a commercial break, Aurora, Jay, Garry and Joe stood up and made their way backstage to prepare for their performance. Harry shuffled down the row to sit next to Joe’s wife Tiffany as seat fillers arrived next to him.

Aurora changed into a floor length red gown and swapped out her earrings before joining the three men behind the curtain, side of stage. She rubbed her hand nervously over the exposed skin of her stump, her heart racing as she prepared to step out in front of hundreds of people, countless more watching at home. Garry gave her shoulder a comf0rting squeeze as the three of them headed out on to the stage.  

“From their new album, Back to Us, please welcome to the stage Rascal Flatts with their latest single, Are You Happy Now?” The audience applauded at the announcer’s words, and then the song began. Aurora picked up her microphone and waited for her cue as Garry’s voice filled the arena.

Someone let your secret out Everybody 'round here's talking about, how your knight in shining armour let you down And now you're alone, I told you so This is what you wanted, baby, now you got it Something's wrong and you can't put your finger on it Could it be that maybe, you did that to me, baby And now you found

Aurora stepped out on to the stage, her head held high as she joined the chorus. She continued walking until she reached Garry’s side, his smile matching her own as she finally let herself enjoy the moment, all of her anxiety melting away as the words poured out of her.

What goes around comes back around It's been that way forever Baby, just look at you now, barely holding it together We were so in love, but you gave that up Just look around, are you happy now? Oooh, are you happy now?

Aurora walked forward to the front of the stage; the audience spread out before her as she sang her solo verse. Yeah, you're gonna spend some sleepless nights Crying in the glow of the TV light With some sad song on and a glass of wine Just to sit in the pain, baby, what a shame This is what you wanted, baby now you got it Something's wrong and you can't put your finger on it Could it be that maybe, you did that to me, baby And now you found

Garry walked out to the front of the stage to join her once more, their voices blending together as they harmonized, the music swelling around them as the song grew.

What goes around comes back around It's been that way forever Baby, just look at you now, barely holding it together We were so in love, but you gave that up Just look around Are you happy now? Now that I'm not around (now that I'm not around) Now that you've finally lost what you thought that you needed Never would have treated your heart like you did What goes around comes back around It's been that way forever Baby, just look at you now, barely holding it together Oh, we were so in love, oh, but you gave that up Just look around (just look around) What goes around comes back around It's been that way forever We were so in love (we were so in love) But you gave that up (but you gave it up) Just look around (just look around) Are you happy now? (are you happy now?) Are you happy?

What goes around comes back around

Garry wrapped an arm around her shoulders at the end of the song and they were both grinning from ear to ear as the audience applauded. Aurora caught sight of Harry, locking eyes with him and blowing a kiss. Joe and Jay reached them at the front of the stage standing on either side of them, all with their arms thrown around each other. They waved to the crowd before leaving the stage.

Since they were one of the final performances of the night, they remained backstage until the end of the show and eventually Harry and the guys wives made their way back to them. As soon as he spotted her, Harry rushed to Rori’s side, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her off the ground. She giggled as he spun her, kissing her deeply when he finally set her back on the ground.

“You were amazing,” he said, somewhat breathless from the kiss. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Jay agreed. “You’d never guess you’ve been out of the game for a year Rori. You absolutely killed it out there.”

Aurora blushed profusely in response, mumbling a thank you, her arms still wrapped around Harry as he stared at her with so much love and adoration.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[wiltedthrone]

CHARACTER STUDY :

LAYER 001 :   THE OUTSIDE

NAME  :   audrey lorraine rose

EYE   COLOUR  :      dark brown

HAIR   STYLE   /   COLOUR  :      naturally brunette and curly. due to beauty standards, audrey’s grandmother started having her hair straightened when she was just five years old. audrey felt some sort of pressure from looking at the other girls to straighten her hair. being mixed, she never really felt as if she truly belonged to either Black or white culture, and being around girls with mostly straight hair made audrey feel as if she stood out in a bad way. in addition to straightening her hair, audrey also wears clip in extensions for length and volume.  following the break up, audrey bleaches her hair blonde with pink and blue streaks for an “edgier” look. sometime after d3, she goes back to her natural brunette tresses and even more time after that she stops straightening her hair as much, letting her natural curl pattern come back in.

HEIGHT  :   5’ 1 ¼”

CLOTHING   STYLE  :   very preppy and girly, collared shirts, soft sweaters, skirts and dresses, lots of accessories, heels you will never see her in a pair of jeans, and she tends to stick to a pastel pink, baby blue, and white color palette. will not wear fur, wool, silk or leather due to being a vegan.    

BEST   PHYSICAL   FEATURE  :  everything? hair 

LAYER 002 :   THE  INSIDE

FEARS  :      being alone, being left out, being a disappointment, being unlovable, failure, not being in control, the dark, being ugly, death, maleficent, public restrooms, being laughed at, talking too much, everyone secretly hating her

BIGGEST   PET   PEEVE  :      when people don’t listen to her or pretend to listen to her, people who don’t carry their weight, people who break the rules, people who chew with their mouth open, people who don’t have loyalty, humidity, when her hair gets stuck in her lip gloss, loose threads on clothing, messy beds, mess in general, apathy

AMBITIONS   FOR   THE   FUTURE  :        be ceo of a successful company, be queen of aurora, get married, genuinely love herself one day

LAYER 003 :   THOUGHTS

FIRST   THOUGHTS   WAKING   UP  :  “when did i fall asleep?” she’s usually grateful to hear the birds chirping and feel the sun on her face. she’s also grateful that she’s actually woke up and it’s usually a “thank god” moment. she also looks around to make sure people aren’t standing over her, looking at her with pity like they did when she woke up from her sleeping spell. if she’s home, she’ll slip her journal out from her drawer and jot down any dreams she had or thoughts that are bugging her.

 WHAT   THEY   THINK   ABOUT   MOST  :   if people like her, if people secretly hate her, does she look okay, whatever project she’s working on, if her loved ones are okay and if they’re taking care of themselves, what she should post on social media, what people might be posting about her on social media, literally every move she makes and how it will be interpreted by others

WHAT   THEY   THINK   ABOUT   BEFORE   BED  :   how she can’t sleep, how she hopes she wakes up, the nightmare that was her queen of mean phase, what she has to do tomorrow, she tries to reassure herself that she’s a good person, whoever she’s currently in love with 

WHAT   THEY   THINK   THEIR   BEST   QUALITY   IS  :     her leadership abilities, she gets things done no matter what.

LAYER 004 :   WHAT’S BETTER ?

SINGLE   OR   GROUP   DATES  :   single dates! she’s open to the idea of group dates if they’re doing something like going to the pier, going to a carnival or seeing a movie but if it’s something like dinner she wants it to be more intimate and wants to be the focal point. it’s less opportunities for her to compare herself to someone else.

TO   BE   LOVED   OR   RESPECTED  :  loved all the way. she might have gotten some kind of respect from her QoM phase (though that was probably just fear if anything), but that doesn’t really make her happy. at her core, audrey just wants to be loved.

BEAUTY   OR   BRAINS  :      beauty and part of her knows that’s problematic but if she’s being honest, aesthetics matter to her. it’s not just beauty in a partner, it’s beauty in herself, in the world, stuff like that.

DOGS   OR   CATS   :  both and she will not choose ):<

LAYER 005 :   DO THEY…

LIE  :      yes. she lies to herself, she lies to others about herself. it’s something that she’s working on not doing, but it’s a huge defense mechanism.

BELIEVE   IN   THEMSELVES  :      yes! some days are better than others but for the most part she knows her abilities and believes in herself.

BELIEVE   IN   LOVE  :      absolutely! love is so important to audrey. she’s working on the belief that love isn’t perfect. it’s not fairy tales and happily ever afters on the first try. it’s hard work and it’s compromise and it’s opening yourself up to another person, not just painting a picture of what you think they want in a person.

WANT   SOMEONE  :      yes 

LAYER 006 :   HAVE  THEY…

BEEN   ON   STAGE  :     yes! audrey loves singing & she’s a part of the theater department at auradon prep and tries to get the leads ( if she feels she’s good for the part, even if she’s not 100% confident in herself, she’ll audition anyway )

DONE   DRUGS  :       this is so verse dependent but whatever she’s dabbled

CHANGED   WHO   THEY   WERE   TO   FIT   IN  :      a b s o l u t e l y.

LAYER 007 :   FAVOURITES

FAVOURITE   COLOURS  :      pastel pink, rose gold, baby blue

FAVOURITE   ANIMAL  :         doves or bunnies

FAVOURITE   BOOK  :           pride & prejudice, but she loves classic romance novels, YA novels and dabbles in those cheesy supernatural YA romances but they’re not her favorite by any means.

FAVOURITE   GAME  :      she really likes word games! scrabble, crossword puzzles, things that let her expand and show off her vocabulary. she also likes rummy, though she’s not supposed to play it. she’s good at drawing so she also enjoys playing games like pictionary. ALSO she likes figuring things out, so she loves escape rooms, clue and games like mafia/werewolf.

LAYER 008 :   FINISH  THE  SENTENCE

I LOVE  :    myself.

I FEEL  :     sad.

I HIDE  :    my feelings.

I MISS  :      my friends.

I WISH  :     i was better.

TAGGED   BY  :     @dogfearing​

TAGGING   :        @gnviasheir​ @shemisfit​ @shekindness​ @wshdreamer​ @nosestealer​ @fatesdefied​ & you, go ahead & steal this bad boy

[bubblegumstardust]

i havent bombarded you with questions in a long ass time so here i am (feel free to skip some if its too much): 1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 (i know you probably won’t even have to google), 16, 17, 18, 24, 27, 29, 33, 36, 41, 47, 51, 58, 59, 61, 66, 71, 74, 75, 76, 79, 80, 90, 95 and finally 100🥰🥰

Dear God Chelle 😂😂💕💕

So sorry this is so long but I can't do read more on mobile

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I try to have more cereal generally but I just chuck milk in randomly and if it ends up being more then it ends up being more 🤷‍♀️

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I generally just use an actual bookmark, but some things I've used in a pinch are: receipts, a pen, sunglasses, some mail, another book, debit card, a hairband, my purse

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I don't drink coffee and I just have a teaspoon or 2 of sugar in my tea

7: do you name your plants?

Yep, I have 2 in my room called Ellie and Nyah. I even named their pots because they're cute and shaped like a sheep and a hippo! The pots are called Pippa and Mimi and they're girlfriends

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Generally writing I guess. I do a lot of painting/drawing too but that's less feeling expression and more just fun.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Yep, and I'm probably very annoying to share space with because I do it a lot

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

On my side and I have to switch like every 10 minutes when I'm trying to sleep or I get uncomfortable

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Literally cannot think off the top of my head. @wonderfilledness, remind me please. Also Chelle tell me any of ours I might have forgotten.

12: what’s your favorite planet?

In our solar system, Pluto because fuck science, it's a planet! Other than that there's a planet I can't remember the name of that, because of rotation speeds, always has the same side facing the sun so like most of the planet is uninhabitable except a thin strip on either side between the two

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

The pup. Also I was helping my mum make masks and I completely fucked up and it was really funny

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Ngl it would be a mess. Also probably covered in books and art stuff and it'd probably be light and airy with lots of plants and cute pastel colours

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Oh where to begin! Okay so for one NASA had to design a special pen for use in space because due to the lack of gravity, normal pens don't work. Any liquid in space will form itself into a sphere due to surface tension. Sunsets on Mars are blue. There's a planet where it's constantly raining glass sideways because wind speeds are so high. There's a (I think) dwarf planet in our solar system that they nicknamed The Goblin. Planet 9 is something we can observe exists but no one can find it and it might not be a planet at all. It could be a black hole or something. The moon is slowly drifting away. I'm gonna stop here but I could go on for ages.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Fucken love a good spaghetti bolognese

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

Kinda want it pastel pink or purple again but also really wanna dye it like a deep turquoise colour

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

Excuse me how dare you assume I've done anything dumb! Tbh I definitely have but again my memory is really bad for stuff like this so I'm gonna turn to @wonderfilledness and @mooncloudsea for this again

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Tbh, you Chelle. Also I'd definitely trust Alice with them but it's somehow easier to tell you because admiting stuff face to face is horrible and I can only talk to you online really

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

I don't like gum

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

Everything all you guys do is cute 😘💕

33: what’s your fave pastry?

C r o i s s a n t s

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Hmmm. I don't know what my mood is right now so like idk?

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

I mean I'm pretty sure the last book I actually read was Aurora Burning so I gotta say that

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Well there's plenty of foods I don't like but I'm not sure I'd ban any of them because there's always people who do like them.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Okay it makes no sense but I always think of Alice when I here B0$$ by Fifth Harmony because it's one of the songs we always end up screaming along to in the car

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

I feel like Alice is a vodka aunt and maybe I'm the wine mum?

59: what’s your favorite myth?

Idk actually. I quite like the echo myth though

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

Honestly I have no idea 😂

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Small little delicate one with lots of small cute flowers like daisies and other pink white and purple ones. Also it would be full of forget me nots because they're my favourite flowers.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

Peppermint all the way

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

They have short brown hair and give some of the best hugs. They're a couple inches taller than me and will not let me forget it. They also steal all my old clothes and would probably steal my dog if given the chance. They need to learn to fucken drive already and it's been too long since I last saw them

75: tell us about your pets!

He babey. He also a little shit but I adore him

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

So many things. Probably most importantly, applying for uni

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Lol no one likes me enough to do something cute for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Light purple. I chose it when we first moved here but painted it even lighter a couple years in

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

I'm generally not the biggest fan of cities but I actually really loved living in Nottingham. It was super developed and you had like everything you could need and want there but also really kept its historic feel and it never felt so overcrowded like places like London do and idk, it was just a really nice place to live

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

I don't really have any in particular. Probably do some more art and writing and stuff but idk really

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I usually pick future no question but like I'm a little concerned as to what such a near future will actually look like. Maybe the past so I can redo some stuff and make a few better life decisions and get help for my mental health sooner and also maybe find a way to do something to prevent some of the awful things happening right now

[artificialqueens]

Strange Love (1/?) (Biadore) - passion--victim

AN: Would like to send a big thank you to @aurora-blackheart & Veronica for the support & beta-ing! Female pronouns are used when they are in drag and male pronouns out of drag. This was supposed to be a one-shot but it probably won’t be.

Her ass pressed into the cold concrete dressing room floor, the loud music of Mickey’s blaring through the closed door. Her hands trembled as she pushed back her blue hair and started on her brows, Of course he wasn’t there, she thought to herself. Adore didn’t expect him to come after everything that went down but that didn’t change the fact everything had been chosen so he could be there. While she was so proud of this new album, fuck it hurt. Everything reminded her of the moments of ecstasy, comfort, and love that they had spent together. Fuck. She took a long drag of her half-finished blunt, willing herself to forget it all.

–

They started off so easy. Not a light fuck between friends but there was an inherent understanding that when apart they did whatever. In the beginning, it worked perfectly, Adore was free to take (consensual) advantage of whatever trade she found after her shows or in the bars and then when their schedules managed to line up they would spend their time in bed, on the couch or in the shower. Fucking, yes but also just existing together. It was the still moments after they had both cum when they lay intertwined that Danny loved the most. It was in those moments when they were coming down where their eyes did all the talking and that Danny knew how much he loved the older man.

It wasn’t when Danny had to muffle Roy’s name as he climaxed in another man but when he found himself turning down trade in favour of masturbating to an old dick pick that he knew he was in trouble. So he did what any self-respecting twenty-something would; he found more and more creative reasons to fly to where Roy was performing. At first, it was a convenient layover,’

“Danny, not that I’m complaining but since when is Barcelona on the way home from London?” Roy quipped when Danny showed up at his dressing room door one night.

He shrugged sheepishly and embraced his other half in a tight hug.

–

Fuck. His other fucking half. If she was in a better mood than she would have fully admitted that he was her better half. Somehow he always knew what to say, and while he could read Adore to filth, he never did. His door was always wide and his arms open. He could make him laugh for days but somehow he also grounded him. Made him feel wanted and whole.

“John” she yelled.

“What?”

“Pour me another one”

–

So he got more creative; layovers, saying his manager fucked up booking the flights  and ‘accidently; leaving drag accessories in Bianca’s kit until finally one day he said “fuck it” owned up to how he felt, well okay, partly.

“Bitch I’m here cause I wanna be. You got a problem with that?”

“Come here pussyface.”

They never had the much needed conversation but it didn’t matter they were spending almost every night together, save only for work engagements and nights spent on a red-eye to see each other. Danny had always known how kind and generous Roy was as a friend (and in bed) but to be the recipient of his full affection was something else all together. He was always picking up a necklace or a shirt or a treat for him; never missing a scheduled Facetime call or an opportunity to shower Danny with compliments privately (or publicly). Even though they never put a name on whatever they had, they quickly settled into the most domestic arrangement either of them had experienced in a long time. When together, and when Bianca didn’t need to make morning talk show appearances, they found themselves waking up in the comfort of the other’s arms and morning wood pressed into the other’s thigh and neither Roy nor himself needing or wanting any more space between them. It was in these moments that Danny really got to see how much Roy loved him, how he trusted him to lower his guard and to just exist and be. Nights were spent exploring aspects of whatever new city they were in; and exploring new parts of each other whenever the mood hit them. When apart, they texted each other that their respective flight landed safe, dodged whatever potential trade they encountered at their solo gigs and made sure to Facetime when planned.

He didn’t set out to write another album. But fuck, lately he didn’t even need to smoke to find the words. Drawing inspiration from moments of ecstasy and comfort in his arms, his album took flight and in a direction it had never been before. He wasn’t mad about it either. He wanted everyone to know, indirectly through his lyrics, how happy he was. While he knew he had to leave it vague enough as to not identify his fellow queen, he poured his soul into each and every one of those songs. Treasuring the moments when he could fully let go, head in his lap, and share them with his love. He wasn’t always the most eloquent speaker but it was in his songs that he was able to express what he meant. And with songs called “Always,” “Hidden Kisses” and “End Game,” it wasn’t hard to figure out. Apart, when inspiration struck, instead of turning to social media Danny began sending videos of verses directly to Roy who more than compensated him when they were together once again. The hard part of this album turned out to be finding a release date that worked for both their schedules. They went back and forth suggesting dates, each one being shot down for a concert, a flight on the other side of the world or a previous work obligation. Suddenly they were looking at almost a year down the road.

“Well this isn’t going to work,” Roy said.

“Yanx what about…”

“Nope. At this rate I’ll be dead before it’s released”.

“Alright you old fucker what do think then?”

“I’ll just cancel this tour stop” he says pointing at the calendar. “I’ll be there.”

“Really? I know how important your work ethic is.”

“You want me there?”

“More than anything Willow,” he said, cupping his chin and pulling him into a tender kiss. “More than pizza,” he laughed.

“Then I won’t miss it for the world.”

—

Leave it to Roy to ruin pizza for me she thought. She pulls at the blue wig, trying to tease it into more of a punk mess, as she racks her brain for what went wrong. One minute it was cuddles and stealing kisses in shadowy corners of bars and the sex, oh god the fucking sex was everything. She didn’t understand how it could mean nothing to him. Tears gathered in the corner of her eye, threatening to rain down her perfectly beaten face.

“Fuck.” She took a deep breath, she wasn’t going to let him ruin this for her. She had put in too many hours pouring her heart into each track. She was so goddam proud of it and if he couldn’t see that and be there for her. Well fuck him. Even though fucking him got him in this mess in the first place.

—

He always thought he’d be the one to fuck it up. And maybe he did. But his heart felt a lot more heavy and broken than guilty. When fans started tagging her that Roy was with another man he didn’t give it another thought. Bitch, the internet be crazy he thought. When someone shouted, “Show Bianca who’s boss, I can’t believe she left you!” at her show one night she cursed that motherfucker out, he didn’t know shit.

But she would be lying if it didn’t stick in her head after a younger fan offhandedly commented post-show that “she seemed so unfazed, ‘specially since Bianca said yes.”

“Yes?” she said making a face, “to what? More dick?”

“Uhhh…” the fan faltered

“The ring, one dick for life ammirite?” her friend said, going for a clumsy high five despite the fact that he was clearly drunk.

What the fuck? Adore thought but she brushed off the interaction, making her way outside to smoke a joint.

She would be lying if she didn’t think about sleeping with the dude who gave her a light. But she was with Roy, and she trusted him even if her mind was spinning.

Replaying their last conversation and scrolling through their texts (he hadn’t responded to her last few messages which was giving her pause) had filled the next few nights after her show. So who could blame her when she chose clubs and friends’ shows over sleepless nights thinking about if him.

Alaska’s shows were always a good time especially when a new promoter was trying to woo her (and her friends) with free booze. Adore, now exceptionally tired and irritated by the comments on Instagram was taking full advantage of all the goodies. She was teetering the line between not cute and full on messy when she got two picture texts from Dela.

Dela: ??

Dela: U ok?

Dela: Love you!! Don’t get too drunk k?

Dela: We can go get fucked this weekend

Head already spinning from the alcohol she opened the first image to find a screenshot of a snapchat of Roy from behind. He was arm and arm with another guy, completed relaxed head tucked into his shoulder. The snap read

“@thebiancadelrio and his boo! They got engaged last week! 💎💍 #onedickforlife #sucker”

Adore felt weak. No, it couldn’t be she thought as she swiped to the second photo Dela sent. Also a snap, except this time Roy was in a loose hug with a man in medical scrubs. “Bitchin with @thebiancadelrio” was scribbled in bold red at the top. But that wasn’t what caught Adore’s attention. It was the small understated text in the bottom left corner that said @KyleVittar congrats 👨‍❤️‍👨

Adore’s stomach dropped and her heart began to seethe. Kyle. His fucking ex. What the fuck. And suddenly, even though she had done a line and more shots than she could count, it became clear. The missed FaceTime calls, the unanswered texts. The fucking trip home that he cancelled last week. It hit her swiftly. So she did the only thing she could think of, block him on both Instagram and Twitter, and hit up Alaska for another line.

–

Two blunts and four tequila shots later, her face was finished. And sure she wasn’t fully there anymore, but wasn’t that the point? Somewhere between shot two and three her trembling lips turned to a scowl and her brow became furrowed.

“Adore is this the final set list?” a PA asked.

“Yeah, no wait.” She grabbed the list and hastily added another song to the end of her first act. “Now it’s good”

“Okay, thanks. You’re going to be ready to go in 15?”

“Sure dude,” she said as she downed another shot trying to forget the pit in her stomach and the roar of anger in the back of her throat.

–

When she walked on stage she was greeted by a packed club, some of her sisters who were there supporting her and many screaming fans.

“Who’s ready to party!!” she yelled, temporarily forgetting the emptiness.

The crowd went wild, ready for her new music.

“Well guess what motherfuckers I got some songs for ya. This first one is a banger, hope you like it”

She had chosen this particular song to start to show because it was one of three songs on the new release that wasn’t about him. Plus it was a bop if she could say so herself. Letting the alcohol take over her soul she danced about the stage. And if she stumbled (literally) or almost fell, her fans were nice enough to brush it off and continue to cheer her on.

“Glad you bitchasses liked that. I don’t really wanna sing any of the other songs so howdoyouguysthinkaboutmejustrepeatingthat all. Night. Long?” she yelled into the mike. After repeating it (twice) she noticed her fans were kind of done with it, to put it nicely.

“Okay okay I get it. Next. On to the next. Might cry. But here we go, this one is called Always.” She pulled the mike away from her face and in a small voice, one very unlike herself, she said “I hate when Always has an expiration date,” and then she began to sing.

After that she sang two other songs from her new album. Her voice cracking a little more at each one as she pushed down the hurt and anger that had enveloped the last few weeks.

“All right motherfuckers, one more in this set. It’s not from my album but it might as well be,” she said raising her glass for another swig before beginning.

There were a few murmurs from the crowd as some tried to figure out what exactly she meant.

The opening lines were messy and rough and she let the song take over

Everybody wants to know

If we fucked on the bathroom sink

How your hands felt in my hair

If we were high on amphetamines

“The first time,” she interjected, “was so. fucked. up.”

And everybody wants to hear

How we chain-smoked until three

And how you laughed when you said my name

And how you gripped my hips so mean

“That fucking fucker!” she yelled.

We wrote a story in the fog on the windows that night

But the ending is the same every damn time, no, no, no

We wrote a story in the fog on the windows that night

But the ending is the same every damn time

She screamed the last line, blinking back tears. She couldn’t believe him. Tonight was supposed to be a celebration of her album, a celebration of them.

“Guess what? Even the pretty boys lie. Even the fucking old ones.”

They think I’m insane, they think my lover is strange

But I don’t have to fucking tell them anything, anything

And I’m gonna write it all down, and I’m gonna sing it on stage

But I don’t have to fucking tell you anything, anything

That’s the beauty of a secret

You know you’re supposed to keep it

That’s the beauty of a secret, oh oh oh

That’s the beauty of a secret

You know you’re supposed to keep it

But I don’t have to fucking tell you anything,

Everybody’s waiting up to hear if I dare speak your name

Put it deep beneath the track, like the hole you left in me

And everybody wants to know ‘bout how it felt to hear you scream

They know you walk like you’re a god, they can’t believe I made you weak

As she belted out the last line she knelt on the ground, miming how Bianca got (unofficially) crowned by Jinx and Shangela. “Fucking done,” could be vaguely heard through the cheers of her crowd.

She finished the song screaming, tears racing down her face. Sure it was punk, but it was also the most real she had felt in a while. She dropped the mic, walking off the stage. So much for celebrating a finished album, she thought. Finding the same hard spot on the concrete floor of the dressing room she reapplied her mug and downed what was left of the tequila. Somehow she managed to be upright and present enough, just enough, barely enough most would say, to sing in the second act, to thank the fans for coming and when the show was over, to make her way into the club to celebrate with old and new friends alike. This time, she knew that if drunk her was horny she was going to fix that. Fuck Roy. Fuck Bianca. He wasn’t the only big dick that wanted her. And with that thought she placed a sloppy kiss on some guy with a cute ass.

–

The next morning he stumbled out of bed, almost face-planting on his bright pink wig.

“Fuck.” He rubbed his eyes which produced a concoction of various eyeshadows on his hands. He groggily made his way to the bathroom to deal with the only thing he felt capable of handling - his bladder. As he opened the door he came face to ass with whoever he brought back last night.

“Fuck, you going?” he asked, not bothering to wait for an answer he closed the door and staggered back to bed but not before swiping his phone off the nightstand.

He scrolled through his Instagram, snap and text notifications until one caught his eye:

Willow💕: What the fuck pussyface? 

[ignisloquitur]

main characters → aurora olsen, hope olsen, auntie may. mentions → aurora, hope, auntie may, doctors, hospital, cane monroe. location → new orleans time frame → 16th june, 2008, hope was five, 16th of june is her birthday, a day before aurora’s on the 17th. warnings → child illness, hospitals, cpr, grief, distress. notes → hope suddenly takes ill at her 5th birthday party. tags → @colpodifulminex

“how do you like your party?” aurora crouched down to her sweet little girl, holding her arms open, engulfing her in a big cuddle. “i love it, mamma! you gave me the clown i asked for!” hope exclaimed, pulling back to look at aurora. “even though you don’t like them. you did it… for me?” hope asked, which prompted aurora to nod and laugh gently. “yeah, baby. for you. everything i do, it’s for you.” she felt a little emotional but she simply pressed a kiss to her daughters head and prompted her to go on and play with her little friends. aurora avoided the clown the best she could, clowns freaked her out, made her heart pound and her palms sweat, she was only enduring one being here because her child, of course, simply had to love them.

the day was a complete hit. all the mothers were loving watching their kids play whilst enjoying some cheeky tipples. aurora though, she was sober. given her history with drugs, ever since she knew she was pregnant she’d never touched them, nor had she let even a sip of beer pass her lips. she didn’t need it. didn’t want it. hope. her sweet, funny, amazing little girl, she was literally everything aurora needed. all she wanted, actually. it was a long-ass road she’d travelled, adapting, evolving, figuring out her best self. hell, figuring out who she was in general and most importantly, who she was without the man she thought would always be with her. cane monroe. love of her life. man who broke her heart. deep down, aurora knew, it would never matter how many years went by, he had created a fresh void in her heart that would never again be filled. her daughter, though, with her stunning features and her gorgeous eyes; his eyes… unmistakeable to aurora. damn. she loved those eyes. always had, always would.

the moms at the party were all older than her but they didn’t seem to mind, as in, aurora felt like they didn’t use her age as a reason to judge her ability to be a mom and the assurance that she was actually doing a good job was so nice to hear. she was chatting to one of the moms when a cold shiver hit her and shocked her body so much, she dropped the glass in her hands. smash. shattering glass echoed, aurora felt instantly sick. her face paled and she nearly fell to the floor; she would have if not for her aunt grabbing her from behind. “hope… hope.” rori whispered, fighting her way back to an upright position and twisting so she could see outside, so she could search for hope. “rori? sweetheart? she’s fine, see…” her aunt pointed, hope was stood near the bouncy castle with a couple friends, they were tossing a ball between each other. “oh.” aurora, still in a little daze, just nodded and let her aunt pull her onto a seat.

the couple moms she was with were watching her, concerned, their eyes fixated on her every move which only forced aurora to pretend it was fine. “i’m so sorry. i uh- i was up all night setting up and making the party bags, i’m just exhausted.” she laughed, the moms smiled, like they understood. but aurora was lying, when they looked away, she looked to her aunt and shook her head. “something feels wrong.” she whispered, hands shaking, blood heating. “i can’t describe it, it’s like..  it’s—-” aurora made her attempt at explain but was cut off by a blood-curdling screech. her head whipped around and she saw the tiny cluster of little children, screaming in sync, gathering, panicking. “hope…” the young witch flew off her seat and ran, they’d made an opening for her and she could see her baby on the ground, making herself drop to her knees the second she reached. “hope?” aurora squeaked.

hands on her little shoulders, hands on her cheeks, tapping, gently shaking, panicking… what the hell? “baby? hope? wake up. shit. jesus. auntie may, ring 911!” aurora yelled, mother mode setting in as she moved her fingers and checked for a pulse. nothing. fuck. fuck. don’t panic. check her chest. aurora tipped her head back and dropped her head to hover above her mouth, eyes watching for the little rise or fall of her chest. nothing. “oh my god. no, no no, no no no no.” throwing her head back up, everything around her became an echo - all she could focus on or see was her child. her baby. her little girl on the ground, not breathing. instincts had taken over, she’d done what she had to, to check for breath, then she checked for anything visible in her mouth, maybe she choked? nothing was there. next step, cpr. aurora remembered the class, she’d been taught this, one hand only, because of how small her body was. aurora began, pausing every thirty, giving her two breaths… repeat. until the paramedics arrived, only by the time they did, hope had a pulse. great news. but not out of the woods yet.

every single movement after that was one big blur, aurora barely remembered moving from the party, to the ambulance, to the hospital. seeing all those professionals crowding around her little girl, putting wires on her, yelling things she didn’t understand, weaving her through the corridor of the hospital. fuck. it was awful. in fact, if you asked aurora, even now, she would shiver, she would shake her head, she’d tell you it was the worst day of her entire life and she still cried about it sometimes… because that was the day. the day her daughter literally stopped breathing. no warning, no symptoms, nothing - and yet, she recalls that feeling she got a minute before the children screamed - that gut-wrenching instinct that literally made her legs turn to jelly, as though she fucking knew, something wasn’t right, something was about to go horribly wrong.

“please, what’s happening? what’s going on? what’s wrong with her?” aurora was absolutely hysterical, held up on her feet only by the will of her aunt’s arms around her. nobody was answering her, she was just watching them fuss and work on hope, who still laid there, breathing, but barely, she was pale, she looked so lifeless. in aurora’s motherly distress, the lights in the ward began to flicker and if it wasn’t for her aunt talking in her ear, aurora knew she’d have blown the whole place up, lights out, electric out. her aunt managed to calm her enough to start taking slow, deep breaths. she couldn’t let her powers blow the electric, not when literally everyone here relied on it to live. “sweetheart, breathe. she’s in good hands. you did so well, you saved her. yeah? rori, you saved her life, now you have to let these good doctors do the rest. let them find out what happened. let them fix it.” her aunt cooed as she cautiously began to guide aurora to a seat. at this point, the horror and shock were setting in, aurora felt as devastated as she did confused and numb. what the hell just happened to her baby girl?

waiting room. tests. scans. words of comfort from the nurses who checked in to update every chance they could. one big hazy blur. aurora wasn’t allowed to see hope yet, the doctor’s were busy. the couple of hours that took felt like days. finally. “you can see her. she’s stable.” a gentle voice sounded in the distance, drawing aurora back to reality as she instantly stood and moved to be guided to her daughter. the sight of her tiny little body in that huge bed, hooked up to machines, wires poking out of everywhere on her soft skin - the sight made her sob. she stumbled to her bedside, perched herself on the edge of the sponge mattress and placed a hand so delicately on hope’s chest. no words. no rational thought. just a sinking feeling in her chest and a worry that couldn’t be silenced. the doctor arrived, began to explain their findings in soft words and sentences so kindly simple, trying to help her and her aunt understand. “.. in her heart? what-what does that mean? for her, what does it mean? can you fix it? will she get better?” aurora spilt her questions in response to the doctor telling them that hope, had a hole in her heart. “she has to get better… you have to make her better.” aurora stood up from the bed and her eyes, all glassy and bloodshot, pleaded with this doctor to tell her he could fix it.

of course, it wasn’t that simple, but he did go on to explain that it wasn’t as uncommon as one might think. he gave them leaflets, sat with aurora for three whole hours after his shift finished and let her cry and question literally everything. aurora wanted to know the ins and outs of exactly what was going on and what to do from here on out. she learned that hope may end up needing surgery to repair her heart, but that also, she may not. that some people could live a perfectly normal life with this condition. they were going to keep hope in hospital for the foreseeable to properly assess any damage, to actually figure out how her heart was functioning, to discover whether or not the little olsen would have to undergo a surgery. and amongst all that, perhaps the most logical of questions were fired at aurora. family history. “no.” aurora shook her head. no was the answer to everything. on her side, there wasn’t a history of this, there wasn’t a history of any illness, condition or disease that she or her aunt knew of. which only meant one thing… cane. she needed to contact him. didn’t want to by any means, but had to. maybe there was something on his side that would help these doctors help her little girl… it wasn’t even a damn option, aurora would do it and just pray that cane had enough heart to give her the answers she needed for their baby.

no number, no location, they hadn’t spoken in just over five years… luckily, she was a witch. she knew how to use her powers to contact him. aurora had found herself in the waiting room, notepad and pen in hand, wondering how to write down what she needed to say. shit. how to word it? could she tell him what happened? did she want to? did he even deserve to fucking know that, today, their sweet little miracle that he hadn’t ever met, stopped breathing? she could barely see the page through her own tears and yet, her wrist flowed as the pen began to write. // she needs you. contact my aunt. // two three word sentences. scrunched paper, clasped hands, quiet chant and poof, sent - the note would land wherever cane was. aurora thought those words were enough. prayed to god they were. pleaded with her own mind to believe that he would realise, after five years, she would certainly not be contacting him if she didn’t absolutely have to, if she didn’t need him urgently. surely, he would know that. he would know exactly who’s handwriting it was, he would know ‘she’ meant their daughter and he would contact auntie may, so she could then ask him what was needed. – but that doubt crept in, that dreadful feeling in aurora’s gut that he literally couldn’t give a shit what was happening here, that he didn’t care, that he didn’t want to respond… that he never, ever loved her, so why would he love the baby they made? aurora had done her part, contacting him the only way she could, the rest was on him. of course, knowing of the medical conditions of his family would speed things up, if it was to be known that what hope had, was genetic - but it wasn’t absolutely needed. the doctor’s would and could work without knowing, which meant that if cane decided to not respond, they could still move forward with treatment. maybe if he didn’t respond, it meant he had nothing to tell them, so why bother… but aurora wasn’t sure what she would prefer, response or ignorance. what she did know, though, was that the only thing she cared about right now, was making her baby better.

[thorne93]

Something There (Part 6)

Prompt: You and Loki have long been rivals. The two of you fight side by side in battle, when the unexpected strikes.

Word Count: 2106

Warnings: language, blood, gore, violence

Notes: Written for @girl-next-door-writes Disney Birthday challenge. Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes. Brainstormed with @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo and I literally could not have done it without @arrow-guy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two nights had passed since your fun in the snow. The fire had slowly died down, but still gave off enough heat to keep you somewhat comfortable. Just like every night, you drifted into sleep on your chair in front of the fireplace. But this night, something was different.

You started to dream. Typically, your dreams were total nonsense. But tonight, it took reality and spun it into terror and spat it back into your mind. Your brain thought it would be nice to relive the moment you got stabbed, trying to protect Loki, but this time the pain was much worse, the blood was nearly everywhere, and Loki left you in the snow to die. By the time the nightmare ended, you were screaming, tears running down your face.

Within moments, you heard footsteps into the large entry room where you slept.

“What’s going on?” Loki asked, sounding alarmed, prepared to fight intruders. He had his daggers ready, but he was only in sleeping attire. You assumed he’d found it in the trunk in the bedroom he was in. That’s where he had found some pants and a shirt for you a few days before, so that he could wash your other garments.

When you realized what had happened, you apologized, feeling guilty for waking him. In a small voice, you said, “I’m sorry. It was just a bad dream. I didn’t mean to wake you. You can go back to bed.”

“Well are you alright? You screamed pretty loud,” he questioned carefully, walking over to your side.

“No, yeah, I’m fine.”

He put his hand to your forehead. “You’re a little warm, and sweating…”

You cringed at the idea that Loki felt your sweat. How embarrassing.

“Why don’t you take the bed?” Loki offered. “You don’t need to be sitting in this big drafty room in a lumpy old chair.”

“I like my lumpy old chair.”

“Yes, well you need a real bed. You haven’t laid flat since we got stranded here. I think it would do your body some good.”

“Well where would you sleep?” you inquired. “You already gave me shit for sleeping upstairs.”

“Well, it does get a little chilly in there. Perhaps we could share the bed.”

You peered up at him incredulously. “Share a bed?”

“Do you have a better idea? I’m not giving up the bed, nor am I going upstairs to sleep. It might make you feel better too… with the nightmares.”

You pursed your lips. You didn’t like this idea, not really. But you also didn’t want to be alone, and maybe a flat bed would be nice rather than being curled up on a chair every night.

“Alright, fine. I suppose it can’t do any harm.”

You threw the covers off of you and tried to stand, with Loki holding your arm gently for support. Once you fully got to your feet, he walked right behind you, making sure you didn’t sway or stumble. He raced over to the side of the bed closest to the door and threw the covers back so  that you didn’t have to worry with those when you reached it. You got to the side, sat down, and he kept you stable while you swung your legs up and under the blankets.

“Are you alright?” he checked as you got settled.

“Yeah, I think so.”

He nodded and walked around to the other side of the bed where he crawled in and laid on his back. At first, it really didn’t feel all that strange. Both of you were tired, both of you needed a bed, both of you needed heat.

After twenty seconds, you suddenly warned, “Don’t try anything funny. I don’t mind ripping these stitches to kick your ass.”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I wouldn't worry about me. I prefer my women unwounded.”

“That’s discrimination,” you joked.

“Trust me, darling. For what I could do to you, you would want to be at peak physical condition,” he vowed confidently.

Strangely, your body responded in a foreign way. Your throat became dry and your thighs squeezed together, and if you weren’t hallucinating, your pulse quickened.  

“Well, uh, thanks.. For sharing the bed, that is,” you corrected, your voice tight.

------------------

Loki sat in the bedroom in the far corner of the room in a chair, reading a book he’d found upstairs. It was in a different language. You enjoyed watching him read, and secretly wished he would read aloud, just so you could hear his voice.

Maybe being isolated for this long, alone together, really had made you crazy. You were craving Loki Odinson’s voice… What lunacy.

Suddenly, you peered over at Loki, wanting to discuss something you’d always wondered. “Do you remember the time at the harvest ball? When we were still in finishing school?” you asked, your voice raspy and weak.

For some reason, you felt horrible today. Perhaps your body wasn’t fighting off the poison as well as you thought it was.

“Of course,” he answered, still peering at his book.

You smiled slightly, happy to know that he hadn’t forgotten it. “Your father told you to dance with me, and you said, ‘I’d never dance with her if she were the last woman in Asgard’.”

At the time, his comment didn’t hurt you. In fact, the feeling was mutual. Yet, to know someone, even someone you were rivals with, didn’t want to dance with you had hurt. Insulting even.

He stopped reading immediately, his eyes lifting off the page slightly, but refusing to meet your gaze from the bed. In an even voice, he responded, “I did that to spare your toes and my dignity. I hadn’t finished dancing class at the time and I worried about stepping all over your feet. A prince that can’t dance, a punishable offense in both of my parents’ eyes.”

“You went and danced with Aurora Fendress after that,” you reminded, a slight hint of accusation in your tone.

“I didn’t care if I stepped on her toes,” he gently informed, giving you a pointed look that seemed to make you go warm all over. “I could always correct my mistake, right now, if you’re feeling up to it.”

“You want to dance with me?” you inquired, incredulous.

“Well, right now, you are the only Asgardian woman on this planet so… I’m still within my promise,” he states with a coy smile and a gleam in his eye.

You couldn’t help the smile and chuckle that came to you when he said that.

“Come,” he offered, getting up and extending his hand as he made his way over to you.

“You sure this won’t repulse you to your core?” you muttered.

“I think if I can care for a gaping wound on your stomach, I can dance with you.”

“How generous,” you teased as you got into formation. Your hand placed on his shoulder, the other hand in his. He put his hand on your waist and the two of you were as close as you were during combat. But instead of trying to stab him, or knock him off his footing, or him trying to cut you open, you were just dancing.

Your eyes met, and suddenly you felt bashful, exposed. This feeling felt far too… comfortable. You shouldn’t be this happy in Loki’s arms, or this warm, or this giddy. Butterflies hammered your rib cage as your heart rate raced.

He must’ve noticed your bewilderment as he gave a tiny smile at your face being flushed.

Before you knew it, Loki went from swaying slightly with you, to humming a very popular tune from your home realm. It brought an adoring grin to your face and before you knew it, the two of you had picked up your feet and pace to match the tune perfectly. Your body swirled around the room, your feet as light and delicate as a ballerina’s, Loki leading the dance as effortless as anyone you’d ever been with. By far, he was the best partner you’d ever encountered on a dancefloor.

“You’ve gotten better,” you remarked, a coy grin on your face.

“Well, some of us had to get better at something, hmm?” he teased, a playful smile on his lips.

When the tune finished, he ended the dance by twirling you back into him, where you rested your shoulder, and the two of you stood there for a long time, embracing in the quiet, chilled room of the castle.

“Loki?” you said, breaking the silence after several minutes.

“Mhm?” he hummed.

“Do you think we’re ever going to get out of here?”

He let out his breath, rubbing your back soothingly, consoling you. “I hope so…”

-----------------------------

Later that night, you two were sitting by the fire, just as the sun was setting. Loki had made a nice meal for you two. Meat from some bird that had been cut and stored in the freezer, along with vegetables he recovered. Loki tended to the embers in the fireplace, making sure to keep a steady, heavily warm stream coming into the room. There was another snowstorm starting up and he wanted to be sure you two would be warm throughout the night.

Meanwhile, you sat in a chair a little ways back in the room, giving him room to work. You had found the few pieces of paper he’d given you from his journal, and finally, you felt like you had something worthy of writing. Using the paper as sort of a diary, you wrote,

There's something sweet and almost kind

But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined

And now he's dear and so I'm sure

I wonder why I didn't see it there before

He was crouching in front of the fire, admiring the warmth and color before stealing a glance out of the corner of his eye at you. You were writing in your journal, and if he didn’t know any better, he’d say you’d been staring at him with a sweet smile on your face.

Once satisfied with the fire, he retreated into a chair to the right of the fireplace, catty corner to you. He got inspired by seeing you write and pulled out his journal and pencil of his own and began to jot down his thoughts as well.

She glanced this way, I thought I saw

And when we touched she didn't shudder at my hand

No, it can't be, I'll just ignore

But then she's never looked at me that way before

Now, Loki appeared to take a page out of your book, and he was working in his journal. Perhaps drawing… Perhaps even drawing you, and that made you blush wildly.

Unbeknownst to both of you, you were being watched, from a land far away…

Frigga, Sif, Thor, and the warrior’s three stood around a large table. The Queen had cast a spell on the tabletop so that everyone could see you and Loki. Odin had requested that his wife keep an eye on you two, making sure that neither of you got too close to death.

All of them surrounded the table, smiling, seeing how far you two had come in a month.

“Well, who'd have thought?” Sif questioned, looking hopefully at her queen.

Frigga nodded in response, her eyes glued to the scene before her. “Well, bless my soul.”

Volstagg concurred, “Well, who'd have known?”

“Well, who indeed?” Fandral asked, patting his friend’s shoulder with a giant grin. “And who’d have guessed they’d come together on their own?”

“It's so peculiar! Wait and see!” Frigga remarked, giddy at the thought of her son finally finding love. She’d seen the budding romance when you two were just children. Before the other kids teased Loki, and before you became only known as the best athlete and sometimes the best scholar on the schoolyard, you and Loki had been close. But Frigga never forgot this. She knew that just beneath the surface of the life-long competition that existed between you two, lurked a deep, profound love.

Sif peered at everyone. “We’ll wait and see, a few days more. There may be something there that wasn’t there before.”

Everyone nodded and murmured in agreement.

“What is it?” Thor suddenly questioned, peering down. “What’s there?”

Frigga giggled delicately as she placed a hand on her son’s shoulder. “Thor, some things are best left unsaid, darling.”

Thor simply stood there, feeling confused as ever before. He looked down to the two of you writing, and couldn’t fathom why everyone was so enthralled with this image of you two writing. What could be so exciting about that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[cutaepatootie]

In search of the Aurora Borealis - 02 | FINAL

Pairing: Taehyung | Reader 

Word Count: 30.1k

Genre: WildlingTaehyungAU, Angst, Fluff & Smut 

Warnings: descriptions of violence and death.

Summary: In which a young Princess of Greyria has to exchange her freedom for the sake of her kingdom, and marry a quiet and mysterious wildling whose eyes were made for contemplating the Aurora Borealis.

01 | 02 | Tales of Greyria

When you arrived to the hut, Taehyung wasn’t there and since Sigrid had ran towards her own hut, just as confused – if not more – than you, your only option left was to lie yourself down on the bed and try to find sleep. Surprisingly, you did.

But not much, because, in the middle of the night, a soft noise woke you up.

You opened your eyes, used to Taehyung being quiet – most of the times. You were afraid that whoever had entered the hut wasn’t Taehyung, but as soon as you opened your eyes, you found Taehyung there, swearing under his breath.

“What was that noise?” You asked, surprising him too.

You sat yourself on the bed so you could see him better. He was drenched in what looked like sweat, his hear sticking to his forehead and droplets of water running down his nose.

“Nothing, I just dropped my axe,” he said.

You looked at the floor, where the axe was lying, stuck in a piece of wood. He was trying to get it out, but the axe wouldn’t budge.

“Here, let me help you,” you said, standing up and walking towards Taehyung.

As you approached him, you could smell the scent of wine. He never drank, not even at your party, so you frowned at seeing him drunk.

When you crouched by his side, you became suddenly very aware of the fact that you were only dressed in your night-gown and that it revealed a bit too much, the fabric being really thin. You thought that, since he was drunk, he wouldn’t even acknowledge it.

Instead of using force to get the axe out of the piece of wood, you used ability. Sticking the axe a bit to the side, it easily slid off the piece of wood.

“And here it is,” you said, handing it to him.

When you looked upwards, you surprised yourself, seeing his intense eyes on you. You handed him the axe awkwardly, trying to ignore the tingling feeling of his fingers brushing yours as you deposited the axe on his hands.

You broke the eye contact, not being able to stand it anymore. But when you were about to return to the bed, you felt a hand on your wrist stopping you from walking away.

You turned and saw a pair of black eyes looking at you.

“Thanks,” he simply said.

You shook your head. “It’s nothing,” you smiled softly. “You should go to bed, you’re drunk.”

“I’m not, I just drank a bit, but I’ve been training  with my axe until midnight,” he said, lifting his axe so you could see it, a silly smile drawing itself over his lips.

He was definitely drunk.

“Yeah, sure…” you said, trying to return to the bed again.

But he stopped you once more. “I know Sigrid and you heard my conversation with Esben before, I saw you both running towards the lake.”

You gulped, afraid he would be mad about it.

“Aren’t you going to ask me about it?” He said, approaching you. “Ask me about what you heard?”

You gulped again, backing away a bit. He smelled like wine and forest at the same time, numbing your senses. The proximity of his face and yours didn’t help you either. You were intoxicated by him, completely.

“No, I’m not,” you softly said.

“Well, you should,” he said rapidly. “Your life is on the game, just like the rest of our lives.”

“And what do you want me to say? That you should choose attacking Greyria and give us a couple of months more or that you should maintain your position and stay true to your word to my father and yourself?” You gathered courage to speak like that. “Because if I choose the latter you are obviously going to think that I do so to save the lives of my family and my kingdom.”

You waited for a response, but he stayed quiet.

“But I choose the latter, and despite what you may think, I choose it because I think all you said was true,” you said, your voice sounding surprisingly calm. “I think that your people, nor you, are ready for a war. And the loss of lives in a war is not worth whatever lands you are going to conquer.”

“And you? Are you ready for a war?” He whispered. “Because staying true to my word and myself sounds really beautiful, but… Whatever choice I make, it is going to bring death, and war, and blood.”

“It doesn’t have to, you can speak with them and try to make them change their minds,” you said.

Taehyung laughed bitterly. “You don’t know them,” he surprised you by raising one of his hands and caressing your left cheek with it. “If you think they’ll just sit here and listen to me talking about peace and future and shit, you’re wrong. I sometimes wonder how did you end up with me, you’re way to innocent for someone like me, or this world in general. From the very first time I saw you, dressed in that delicate dress, almost trembling as your father introduced us. I saw you walking through the corridors of the castle and asked to myself ‘how will this girl survive in the north?’”

At that, you frowned and backed away from him.

“Listen, I’m tired of you all thinking that I’m some innocent and naïve girl,” you said, your voice not sounding like a whisper anymore. His hand fell from your cheek while he looked at you. “Because I’m not. Maybe I once was like that, when you met me. But now I think I know a bit more about how life is and how it can be. I’ve learnt new things and I can defend myself. I’m not that girl you met in the great hall of a castle in Greyria anymore, Taehyung.”

You observed his smile grow wider until he was fully smiling. A boxy smile you had only seen directed to others but that you loved so dearly.

“You’ve learnt new things?” He asked in a mocking tone. “Things like what?”

You were fuming, since he clearly didn’t believe you. Sigrid had taught you how to defend yourself, not only with weapons.

Taking advantage of his drunken state and the fact that he didn’t expect any attack from you, you hoisted your leg and encircled the back of his legs with it. His knees immediately failed him and he stumbled backwards. Quickly you grabbed the axe from the floor and pointed at him with it.

“Things like this,” you breathed heavily while the words fell from your lips.

He continued smiling, but his playful smirk turned into a sincere one.

“I must say I’m surprised,” he spoke through his smile. “But you should never distract yourself while being in front of your enemy.”

Suddenly, he grabbed one of your ankles and pulled from it, making you jump with your other leg to keep balance. But he took advantage of your situation to grab the other ankle. Since you had no feet to keep you standing, you fell backwards. Quickly, you let go of the axe and threw it onto the floor so it wouldn’t hurt Taehyung.

After your back hit the floor with a loud thud and a painful pang, you sat on the floor just at the same time Taehyung did.

“Are you fucking stupid?!” You shouted, punching Taehyung’s leg. Not because of the fall, because you had fallen so many times before during the trainings with Sigrid, and you had had way more painful falls. But because… “I could have hurt you with the axe!”

“But you didn’t,” he smiled, approaching you while sitting on the floor.

“Oh, well, let’s try it again and let’s see if this time you’re lucky again,” you angrily said.

You tried to stand up, but Taehyung grabbed your waist with both of his hands and sat you on his lap.

“Shut up, you’re ugly when you’re angry,” he said.

And you would have protested if it would have not been for his lips over yours.

Was it a dream or was it really happening? You were feeling again his lips, soft and wet around yours.

You hummed a bit, suddenly forgetting about everything, forgetting about the fact that he could abruptly broke the kiss like the previous time. But he didn’t. He kept kissing you as if it was the only thing keeping him alive in that moment, and you kissed him back, as if feeling his lips was the only air you needed to breathe.

“Wait, wait,” you said, separating his lips from yours before it could escalate into something you didn’t want. “You’re drunk. You hate me.”

He brought up his hand and delicately traced your lips with his index and thumb, caressing the soft skin there. He gathered his saliva from your own lips in a tender movement.

“I’m not, I’ve just drink a bit of wine but it isn’t enough to get me even tipsy,” he said, his eyes focused on your lips and the movements of his fingers against them – which were making you tremble. “And I don’t.”

“You don’t what?” You asked when he didn’t explain himself any further.

“I don’t hate you,” he whispered, pecking your lips softly.

You frowned, grabbing his hand by the wrist because the movements of his fingers were distracting you too much and they didn’t let you think straight.

“So why do you act like you hate me then?” You said.

“Because that’s what I’m supposed to do,” his voice sounded deeper than ever as the words flew past his lips. Those full lips that had just kissed you and the ones that you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about ever since they kissed you for the first time. “I’m supposed to hate you just like you are supposed to hate me. Because we were forced to marry each other and because that’s how things work. And because it’s the easiest way for both of us.”

“So… You don’t hate me?” You whispered back.

He answered you by shaking his head no. “And you? Do you hate me?”

“Do you think I would be sitting in your lap and kissing you if I did?” You answered, sounding as if you were angry.

He laughed, and you swore it was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. Fresher than the sound of the pouring rain, more melodic than the sound of the birds singing, and even more pure than the sound of the breeze caressing the green grass on top of a cliff.

“Why do you always have to be so defensive?” He asked, not stopping laughing as he did so. “Relax a bit.”

Not only his laugh was beautiful, it was contagious too, and you found yourself not being able to contain your own laugh anymore. As you let go of the first laughs, Taehyung approached you again, sure that your laugh was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Because, to him, it was fresher than the sound of the pouring rain, more melodic than the sound of the birds singing, and even more pure than the sound of the breeze caressing the green grass on top of a cliff.

And in that moment, it happened, as he kissed you while you were still laughing. It happened. Magic, fate, love, whatever you wanted to call it. You looked at each other, kissed at each other, and knew it.

It happened, as you saw the rude and cold man before you turn into the curious little boy of the stories. Rosy cheeks as cheerful laughs escaped from his plump lips. Bright, shiny eyes that glowed with the dim light of the fire lit in the middle of the hut.

You grabbed his face with both of your hands and kissed him passionately, your tongue being the one asking for entrance in his own mouth. He immediately let you kiss him the way you wanted. He didn’t care about how you kissed him – slowly, passionately, lazily – as long as your lips were on his.

You adjusted yourself on top of his lap, blushing when you felt him through the thin material of your night-gown.

Bringing your hands to the back of your head, you freed your hair, letting it fall down your shoulders. Taehyung grabbed it, pulling from it, guiding your head away from his, breaking the kiss in an animalistic way.

Your breaths were erratic and your pupils were dilated from the dark and the lust you both felt.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked in what seemed like a growl.

You doubted a bit. He tasted like wine, he definitely had drank a bit. He had slept with other women while being married to you, which you didn’t think you would be able to stand anymore after that. You weren’t going to let him into your bed smelling like other woman. And you weren’t sure if he would be there when the sun appeared in the sky. But you were sure it was what you wanted it and how you wanted it.

“No,” you sincerely said. “But I want it.”

And he kissed you again, pulling your face towards his and embracing your body with both of his arms. You could feel his heartbeat under the palms of your hands as you placed them on top of his chest. He was still sweaty from before, and the blouse he was wearing was sticking on his chest, but you didn’t care.

You let him took your night-gown off. He slowly grabbed the hem of hit, sliding it over your legs, thighs and then waist. You blushed when his eyes traced your naked skin, but you blushed even more when he took off the garment completely and observed you with hungry eyes.

He traced the curve of your breasts with his slender fingers, leaving a trail of goosebumps all over your skin. You shivered a bit, from the cold and his touch.

“Do you like how I touch you?” He asked in a hoarse voice.

You nodded shyly and he kept circling your skin, tracing loving patterns.

“Do you want me to keep touching you?” He asked again.

And again, you nodded not wanting his skin to leave yours. So you readjusted on your lap, this time not caring about feeling his erection, only wanting to come closer to him.

He pecked your lips before bringing them down to kiss the crook of your neck and your clavicles. He kept kissing down your skin leaving a wet trail, until he found your breasts, which he kissed too. His tongue traced the peak of your breasts while his lips caressed the skin afterwards. You hummed softly, closing your eyes and letting you feel him completely.

“You like this?” He murmured, his words muffled by your own skin.

“Yes,” you breathed, caressing the soft skin of his face.

He stopped suddenly, making you open your eyes, afraid you had said or done something wrong. But when you looked at him, he was just taking his blouse off.

‘”It’s a bit hot in here, don’t you think?” He smiled at you, taking off blouse playfully, leaving his torso naked for you. You smiled him back and again, he attacked your lips with his.

His tongue played with yours, he bit your lower and upper lip playfully and he groaned when you moved over his manhood.

“Oh, sorry,” you said, pulling away a bit, afraid you had hurt him.

But instead of answering you, he grabbed your hips and lowered you against him again. He made your hips grind against his erection, which made him growl once again.

“Keep doing that, Y/N,” he breathed.

And hearing your name coming from his plump, rosy lips, made you completely lose it. You were lost now if you thought before that you could resist him.

One of the hands that was grabbing your waist, started tracing patterns down your skin until it stopped in your pubic bone.

“I guess you’ve never been with a man before,” he said, his eyes holding a somewhat animalistic glow.

“No, I haven’t,” you whispered, blushing. Was it a bad thing?

“Oh, Gods,” he smiled, making you relax. “I feel pressured now.”

“Why?” You asked.

“Because I want to make you feel good and knowing that I’m the first…” he began to say.

But you interrupted him sealing his lips with yours. “I want to make you feel good too.”

As you grinded on him again, he moaned. “You’re already doing that.”

You smiled, gathering the courage of leaning and kissing his neck. You heard him emit an erratic breath and what seemed like an “oh, Gods” again.

But you soon were moaning too when he started to rub circles with his thumb on top of your clit. “Taehyung,” you moaned.

He growled, hearing your words and accelerating the pace of his fingers. Unconsciously you softly bit the skin that connected his collarbone with his neck to prevent you from moaning loudly. At that, he stopped abruptly and grabbed your waist.

As he got up, he grabbed your body too and carried you to the bed while kissing you. Each time his lips found yours, you were sure you could see all the starts and feel their light on your skin. He made you feel like you were alive, his touch sending electricity to your body. His caresses felt like spring in Greyria when you were in autumn and in the north.

He deposited you on top of the bed carefully, taking off his pants while you looked at him trying to catch your breath. You blushed at the sight of him fully naked and gasped when your eyes unconsciously followed the movements of one of his hands, which grabbed his erect member and stroke it a couple of times.

He looked at your body from up above, traveling through your skin as if it was a path to him. He started on your thighs and ended in your eyes. And when your eyes met, you were sure you both had combusted in pure passion and ecstasy, for you were both leaning towards each other, searching for the other’s lips.

He climbed  on top of you, dragging you towards the centre of the bed.

“I want you so badly,” he murmured in between kisses. “I’ve wanted you so badly since long ago.”

“Hmm…” you murmured, savouring his soft lips. “And then why didn’t you do this before?”

“Because you weren’t ready,” he began trailing kisses down your neck. “And you didn’t want me like you do now.”

“You could have tried,” you moaned in the middle of the sentence, when you felt Taehyung’s fingers over your clit again. “Maybe I would have given in after that kiss you gave me in the lake.”

“You would have?” He asked, stopping peppering kisses all over your breasts to look at you.

“Maybe. But you didn’t try, so we’ll never know,” you said, making a devilish smile appear on Taehyung’s lips.

“We’re about to see it now,” he smirked, kissing you all over your skin again.

But something was eating your mind and you couldn’t contain it anymore. You pulled from his hair, separating his lips from your skin and making him look you in the eye.

“If you wanted this all this time, why did you slept with all those other women instead of trying it with me?” You said. “I thought you didn’t like me, or that you didn’t feel attracted to me.”

“At first I didn’t, not gonna lie,” he simply said, stopping the movements of his fingers. “But then I began to know you better and see that you weren’t that obnoxious princess I met in Greyria. And the night of our wedding I kissed you and… Well, I knew you probably were a virgin and that you weren’t ready for me, so I slept with other women thinking about you, if I’m being honest.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, sure. How typical.”

“Hey,” he said, softly grabbing your chin with his index finger and making you look at him. “It’s true. I thought of you all the time.”

“And what makes it different now?” You asked. “What makes me ready?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, but I can feel it. They way you look at me… The way you kiss me…” he leaned in to kiss you, placing a wet kiss on your lips before looking at you again. “The way you react to my touch…” his fingers started rubbing circles over your sensitive area again, and you couldn’t help but bit your lower lip. “Tell me that you don’t want this and I’ll stop.”

You looked at him. He wasn’t playing fairly. The way his fingers touched you, his eyes looked at you, his body rested on you making you feel him… Even the way the fire casted beautiful shadows all over him was numbing your mind!

So you ended up shaking your head and smiling. “No, I want this. With you, here and now.”

He smiled and kissed you again. As his tongue entered your mouth, you felt a finger tracing your entrance and without warning, it entered you softly, making you moan in his mouth.

“You’re really tight,” he mumbled.

He kissed your lips one last time before starting to trace kisses down your neck once again. He added another finger carefully, pumping it in and out of you.

“Taehyung…” you whispered in his ear.

“What?” He answere in between kisses.

You bit your lip before speaking again. “I’ve wanted you ever since the night of our wedding too.”

He smiled as he looked at you. “What a waste of time this past months, then,” he said through his smile.

“But we have plenty of time to make up for it,” you smiled.

His smile grew wider until his eyes turned into thin lines. “That’s true,” he said, kissing your skin again.

He continued his movements in and out of you, the palm of his hand rubbing your clit sometimes, until you felt a warm feeling traveling down your ribs until it arrived to your lower stomach. He felt your walls starting to contract around him and he retired his fingers.

You opened your eyes feeling the emptiness without his slender fingers pumping in and out of you. And when you did, you thought you could explode just from what you saw. He was licking his fingers clean, his eyes never looking away from yours.

“Get up,” he demanded. “Hold yourself up on your knees and hands.”

You obeyed, a bit embarrassed about your posture. But he hoisted over you from behind, his hands caressing your shoulder blades, gently pushing your hair away from your face.

His fingers touched your entrance once again and then they disappeared.

“You’re ready,” he hummed in your ear.

“I am,” you said.

“We are going to make up for all that wasted time,” he said, aligning himself with your entrance, coating himself with your juices. “Tonight is just the beginning.”

And you smiled as he entered you softly. He bit your ear and grunted in it.

“You’re so tight, I’m going to cum right now if I move,” he growled. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, because you were sure that you would scream if you opened your mouth. It would not be a painful scream, but a pleasurable one. It was a bit overwhelming the whole feeling of Taehyung inside you, his hot breath on your ear, his warm skin over your back.

Without warning, Taehyung started moving. He wasn’t gentle or delicate, but he was sweet in his own way, asking you if you were okay or kissing you. His hands travelled down your back and everywhere they could, exploring it avidly. His hands yearned for your skin, to feel you sweaty, hot and needy under him.

He pushed harshly into you, making you cry loudly again and again. You could hear the slaps of his skin against yours, his breaths, his moans and growls, his words.

When you were used to him, he began moving even more roughly, backing away until his back was stretched and you couldn’t feel the heat of his body anymore. Both of his hands grabbed your ass cheeks, until he tensed and lowered one of his hands to your centre again, rubbing circles against your clit.

“Hmf…” you moaned, hiding your face in one of the cushions.

“Oh Gods, Y/N…” he growled. “Can you take it babe? Can you take this?”

“Yeah,” you breathed.

You were feeling that warm wave travel south again and you began muffling your moans with the cushion, afraid that you would scream and wake the entire village up. To your surprise, Taehyung wasn’t making any better. He was vocal, telling you what he liked and how he felt at any moment. You had imagined him being quiet, but his moans, growls and whispers let you know otherwise.

“I’m going to cum,” he panted from behind you.

You didn’t know what was going on inside you, but you could feel a thousand fireworks traveling through your system and brining warmth and pleasure. You closed your eyes as you let go of that feeling, letting out a long and loud moan.

Taehyung hovered over your back again and pressed his forehead against your shoulder blade. You could feel him panting over your skin as he continued to pump in and out of you with force, milking you through your orgasm. Your legs were trembling, your arms too, and with the added weight of Taehyung’s body and the euphoria that had invaded your body, you weren’t sure if you would be able to stay in that position much more.

One of his arms held his weight, his hand grabbing the mattress strongly, and the other, encircled your body, holding your weight too.

“Y/N, I’m about to…” he began saying. But his last word came out as a strangled moan and he pushed into you one last time before you felt a hot liquid filling you up.

He pumped in and out of you lazily a couple of times until he was too numb because of his orgasm to continue moving. So he slowly pulled out of you and pulled you against his chest as he lied down on the bed.

You felt his hot seed slipping out of you and dripping from the inside of your thighs, but you didn’t care, because his arms were around you, your head over his chest hearing his heartbeat, and his lips were parted, heavy breaths slipping past them.

You brought your hands up so you could caress his chest, wet with his own sweat. You lifted your head a bit so you could see his face, and it had such a blissful expression over it that you couldn’t even speak, afraid that he would open your eyes and you wouldn’t see that same expression over his beautiful face ever again. Slowly, you brought one of your hands up, caressing his face until you touched his sweaty bangs. You parted them, pushing them away from his face and leaving his forehead naked.

After tracing his soft features with your index finger, you placed your head over his chest once again, breathing his scent and closing your eyes.

“It has been a good start,” you heard him mumble, sleep already embracing him.

You just smiled and felt him covering both of your naked bodies with the blankets. For the first time since you were in the north, you needn’t to search for sleep. Instead, it was sleep that found you.

. . .

You frowned. Why was a bright light hitting your face directly?

Stirring yourself in bed, you protested a bit, but finally, you opened your eyes and searched for the bright light that had woken you up. But you didn’t have to search much because as soon as you opened your eyes, you had to close them again, the sun shinning brightly above you.

“What?” You asked to yourself, covering your eyes with your hand so you could open them without blinding yourself.

When your eyes adapted to the new light, you scanned the room. A window was open in the roof of the hut, but you didn’t even remember seeing a window over there. You guessed it had been covered the entire time but that Taehyung had decided to open it and let some light into the hut.

Wait… Taehyung.

Immediately, you stood up, searching for him around the room. But the bed was empty except for you, the blankets and a few cushions. You scanned the room again, but this time searching for him. He wasn’t in the hut, either.

When you realised that there was no small fire in the middle of the room, or that the sheets were cold by your side as always, you felt a wave of anger fill your veins.

“Fucking asshole,” you growled, wrapping one of the blankets around your naked body.

How could he? He slept with you and then disappeared as always, not even saying goodbye. You felt angry towards him, but mostly towards yourself. If you would have contained yourself the night before, you wouldn’t be in that position now. You wouldn’t feel so dirty and used.

Your mind started racing like crazy and suddenly you were sure that he had been so drunk the night before, he didn’t even know what he was doing or saying, and much less with who he was doing that. So that morning, when he woke up by your side, he regretted everything and ran away.

You hid your face behind your hands and a sob escaped from your lips as memories of the previous night came back to you. How he kissed you so passionately, of how his hands traced your skin, of how his voice sounded deep and raspy as he whispered in your ear and pushed into you. It had been a magical night to you, but to him, it had only been a night full of things to regret. But you weren’t going to cry, no. You weren’t going to cry for him, you were going to act as if nothing had happened.

So you took a quick bath, making sure to erase his touch and the traces of his lips over your skin. Brushing with force in those spots that were marked purple from his lips and soft bites.

When you were dry, you didn’t feel different and you didn’t stop feeling his lips all over your skin, but you ignored it and began dressing yourself.

It was a beautiful day. It was cold as if it was already winter, but sun was shining high up in the morning sky and no cloud could be seen.

You adjusted your furred cloak around your body and began walking towards the place where you always met Sigrid.

You were trying to distract yourself with anything you could see. Looking at the sky, or at the plants, at the dying bushes and trees and the animals that were trying to collect food for the winter. But in the end, you got distracted from trying to distract yourself, when you heard a voice that you would recognise anywhere.

You looked in the direction of the voice and you saw him. Dressed in his usual furred dark grey cloak, his hair was as messy as always, but it wasn’t sweaty or damp as it had been the night before.

Taehyung was speaking with a man you had seen before around him, one of his many trustworthy men. He was standing there, as if nothing had happened between you and him. But it had, and you couldn’t let it go even thought you tried.

So you couldn’t help but stand there and look towards him with narrowed eyes. The conversation between Taehyung and the other man seemed to be about something serious, because both men were speaking lowly, severe expressions on their faces.

You examined them until the other man became aware of your presence and looked towards you. When he recognised you, he pointed towards you with his face, making Taehyung turn around and look at you too. But you stayed there, unmoving, impassible. At first you swore you saw something flashing in Taehyung’s eyes. Regret? Fear? But then it disappeared and he was looking at you with that same impassible expression on his face.

Looking at him, you shook your head, giving up the stare contest. You turned around and followed your path towards the clear where you trained with Sigrid.

You, at least, wanted to arrive and hopefully speak with Sigrid about everything so you could get everything out of your chest with her. Maybe you could fight a bit too, discharging all of your anger at a tree or a bullseye. But when you arrived to your clear, there was no trace of Sigrid, and instead, a group of kids were playing there, taking advantage of the sunny morning light that seeped in the clear trough the branches of the tall trees.

You thought about screaming at them and telling them to disappear, that it was your clear. But you couldn’t do that, because it wasn’t your clear, or anyone’sq clear at all, and because they were all too adorable playing with their hand-made toys.

“Hey,” you said instead. They all lifted up their heads to look at you. They recognised you, obviously, but none of them said anything.

Shyly, you walked towards them, afraid that they would start running away from you, or worst, that you would end up running away from them. Some kids were sat forming a circle and they were fabricating their own toys with old pieces of clothing or leaves that they found fallen on the floor.

“Are you making a doll?” You asked, crouching a bit so you could see better.

Again, no one talked, but a little girl nodded her head.

“Can I help you?” You asked. They all looked at each other, as if they were debating it.

“Yes,” that same girl that had nodded finally said. She had short blonde hair and when she opened her mouth you saw that she had two missing teeth in the front of her mouth.

Happily – and suddenly forgetting about the incidents of the previous night or how Taehyung had ignored you that morning – you took a seat next to her on the floor.

“Can I?” You asked her to grab her half-made doll.

She nodded again and handed you the doll. You smiled, remembering your first doll that your father had brought you from far away. The one you were holding in your hands in that moment, had nothing to do with yours, but somehow it reminded you of your doll.

“When I was little,” you said. “I had a doll named Pensy that was similar to this.”

“Her name is Doll,” the girl said.

“Woah, what a beautiful name,” you smiled.

“I have a doll too,” another voice said. A red-haired boy looked at you, handing his doll to you. “Her name is Fairy.”

“Oh, she’s so pretty. Is she a real fairy?” You asked.

“No, she is a doll,” he simply said, looking at you as if you were crazy. How could his doll be a real fairy? Pff.

You laughed a bit, and one by one the kids began giving you their dolls and telling you their names so you could see them and tell them how pretty they all were. Soon, you were all playing with the dolls, laughing and making up new stories for each one.

“Doll is the Princess of this forest!” The girl whose name was Neera said.

She ran towards some bushes that were at the end of the clear. It was late in the morning, the sun casting shadows all over the clear. That’s why you didn’t saw Neera disappearing into the bushes.

“Where’s Neera, Patrick?” You asked the red-haired boy.

“She has brought Princess Doll to her castle,” Patrick said, not even looking at you as he was too focused playing with his own doll.

“And where’s her castle?” You asked, looking once again around the clear. But as you didn’t see any trace of the girl, you began to worry.

“No one knows,” Patrick said. “It’s a secret only Doll and Neera know.”

“Okay, I’m going to look for them. Don’t move from here,” you said, running towards the last place you had seen Neera in.

“Neera!” You began shouting her name, calling for the girl. Arriving to the bushes, you saw nothing. “Neera!”

You then, entered the forest, calling for the girl, searching everywhere. In the bushes, behind the trees, under some fallen trees… But nothing. “Neera!” The sun was hidden behind the deep branches of the trees, so its light couldn’t reach the ground and you could barely see a thing.

“Y/N!” You heard suddenly. You heard it not so far away from where you were. It was Neera’s voice.

“Neera!” You said, running towards the voice. But before you could do so, a par of hands grabbed you and stopped you from running.

You shouted the girl’s name one last time before one of those big hands clasped around your mouth. Instinctively, you opened your mouth and bit harshly on the hand. You didn’t stop bitting, not even when you heard the loud scream of the man that was holding you or when you felt him hit you in the stomach to make you stop. Eventually, you stopped when you felt the metallic taste of blood in your mouth.

He let go of you, screaming in pain and holding his hand close to his chest. You took advantage of that to free yourself and turn around. He was a man no older than thirty, dressed in brown fur and wearing weapons hanging from his back. He was a wildling.

“They’ll arrive soon! They are going to arrive sooner than winter!”

Who?

The wildlings.

You couldn’t lose time, so you grabbed the axe from the man’s hands and his bow and arrows. You heard the screams of the kids in the clear and suddenly you knew. That man wasn’t on his own and what Esben had said was true. The wildlings were coming for Taehyung and the rest of you.

Without wasting any more time, you remembered all those lessons with Sigrid. You charged the bow and shot the man in his leg with an arrow. He fell to the ground, crying in agony. Sure that the man wouldn’t move from there, you ran searching for Neera, screaming her name.

After a few minutes, you saw an unmoving body, not far from where you had left the wounded man. You ran quickly, fearing the worst. And when you arrived there, you almost fell to the floor, your knees and legs trembling like crazy.

Neera was lying on the floor, beautiful blue eyes open wide, her gaze lost in the sky, no expression or life in them. From her mouth was pouring and unceasing river of blood. She had a deep cut in her throat, that same crimson dense liquid pouring from it. Doll, her little doll was by her side. It had fallen from her small hand and was now covered in mud.

Tears rolling down your cheeks, you closed the girl’s eyes and grabbed her doll, setting it on top of her unmoving chest.

More screams came from the clear where you had left the rest of the kids and wasting no more time, you ran away from the lifeless body of that little girl.

You charged the bow while running and as soon as you entered the clear, you pointed towards the back of a man and shot. The kid that was trying to escape from his arms, fell to the floor, free from his now dead capturer.

One by one, men started falling dead to the floor. As soon as you shot one, you ran towards their body, grabbed the arrow from their unmoving bodies and continued running towards the next one.

“Run!” You shouted to the kids that were being freed. “Run to the coast and don’t stop until you arrive to the port!”

The kids obeyed you, disappearing in between the trees of the forest. They knew it like the palm of their hands and you knew they knew how to move around the vegetation and bushes without getting caught, so you hoped they would all arrive safely.

You were running towards one last man that was trying to catch a boy when you felt a hand around one of your ankles and fell to the floor with a loud thud. Mud covered your front and you hit your head against the floor, leaving you numb for a moment. You wished you had grabbed the axe instead of the bow and arrows, because you couldn’t reach your back to grab an arrow and charge the bow.

When you looked at it, it was broken, under your body. The wood had broken by half and its cords had fallen apart.

You cried a bit when you felt weight over your body.

“A tough woman,” you felt the hot breath of the man on the back of your neck.

He grabbed a fistful or your hair and lifted your head from the floor. You were still numb from the impact, trying to find a way to escape from under the body of the man.

“I like tough woman like you…” he said in a disgusting voice that made you want to throw up in that exact same moment. “Why don’t we have some fun?”

You felt warm hands grabbing the hem of your dress, which had risen up a bit, leaving your legs uncovered. You cried in fear of what the man was trying to do. His hands started caressing your skin, starting at the back of your knees and climbing up slowly.

You screamed, but the only thing you could see was the man you were going to shoot before you had been thrown to the floor. He had caught the little boy he was running after before and he had slid his knife through the little boy’s throat. His small body had felt limply to the floor, a big lake of blood forming under his dead body. The man was running away without looking at the body of the five year old boy he had just killed a second time. You screamed again, blurry vision from your own tears.

You let the man touch you, crying while your eyes scanned through the clear, finding the unmoving bodies of two more kids. Their eyes open, the life that was once held in them, never coming back. Maybe this is how it would all end, how your life would end too. Raped by a savage, killed by him. You resigned yourself, closing your eyes and waiting for the pain to come. But the only pain you felt, was in your chest, inside it. What were you doing?! Waiting for someone to save you like the princesses of the fairy tales?! Waiting for someone to come and save you like you would have done a year before? No. You weren’t Y/N, the Princess of Greyria anymore. You didn’t need anyone to come and save you, you didn’t need to resign yourself and wait for death to come. You were Y/N, you were strong, and you could save yourself. You were going to save yourself.

Anger boiled through your veins. Anger for Neera, who had ran into the woods playing with her doll and will never return again, for the boy who had get killed in front of you and the two other kids that had been killed before you had been able to arrive to the clear. Anger for yourself, for not being able to protect them. And anger for the hands that where roaming your skin, hands that were grabbing your ass cheeks in an animalistic way.

With a last scream full of fury, you brought your head backwards and ignored the pang of pain you felt on it when it collided against the man’s face. He screamed in pain too and you quickly turned around, facing him and seeing his face covered in blood from his broken nose.

“You bitch,” he mumbled, while bringing up his hands to cover his bleeding nose.

You punched him in the nose and pushed away from him when he screamed in pain once more. Freeing yourself from the weight of his body, you stood up and grabbed his knife. Without giving it a second thought, you sinked the knife in the man’s thigh, and then you ripped the man’s flesh forming a deep cut. You knew the femoral was there and that he would slowly and painfully bleed to death.

You spat saliva on the man’s face and then, grabbing his bow and his arrows, you ran.

You were breathless. You were afraid. You felt tired. You felt hurt, not physically, but hurt from the death of those innocent kids. But you felt powerful too, and for once in your life, you felt strong. Maybe you hadn’t been able to save the lives of every kid, maybe you hadn’t been able to stop the men from going to the village, but you had saved most of the kids and you had saved yourself. You had been about to give up, to let that man do whatever he wanted with you, but you hadn’t, and you had escaped from him. You were proud of yourself.

When you arrived to the village, you saw fire burning the huts, people running from place to place, searching for their children or running for their lives. You saw some of those same men, dressed in brown fur, deep beards on their faces, some of them even had some kind of mask covering their faces. It all was happening in slow motion to you. Blood everywhere, fire, horses running all over the place just like the people. Weapons lying on the floor next to cold, dead bodies.

You desperately searched for some known faces, Sigrid, Esben or even Taehyung, hoping they were all alive and alright.

“Hey,” a women said. You had seen her before and had spoken to her a couple of times. “Y/N, have you seen my son? Red hair… His name is Patrick.”

“Yes, he was playing in the clear with the kids, I was with them when it all started,” you spoke, still breathless from everything. “He is safe, I sent him to the coast with the rest of the kids.”

“He is safe?!” She repeated, tears filling her eyes and a blissful expression on her face.

“I think so,” you said. “I shot the man that was trying to catch him and saw him running into the woods afterwards.”

Without warning, she hugged you, crying and saying something you couldn’t understand, but that sounded similar to “thank you”.

But the hug didn’t last long, for you saw a man throwing his axe towards you both. You pushed the women backwards and fell onto the floor with her, trying to avoid the axe. You did avoid it, but she didn’t.

When you looked back at her, she was dead, a river of blood flooding from her back. “No…” you whispered, still holding her in your arms.

You looked up, searching for the man that had killed her. And you found him, running towards his axe and towards you, ready to kill you.

But you were faster, grabbed his axe first and stuck it in his stomach, killing him immediately. You didn’t look back, you quickly retrieved the weapon from his dead body and helped another men that was struggling because his leg was stuck under a fallen piece of wood from a hut.

After helping him, you tried helping a girl that was fighting against another wildling, but he cut her throat before you could arrive.

You hadn’t seen Sigrid, nor Taehyung or Esben. All the known faces where lying on the floor, dead, or had disappeared. But when you felt like it was the end, you heard the sound of a loud horn in the distance.

You stuck your axe into the chest of the wildling you were fighting against and looked in the direction of the sound.

As you retrieved the axe from the lifeless body, you saw the horses coming from the forest. Men and women were riding them, shouting and batting their weapons in the air. At first you though they were enemies and that you were lost, but then, you saw that they weren’t wearing brown fur, or masks.

First, you saw Sigrid riding her own horse, and by her side, you saw Taehyung. His eyes were scanning the crowd searching for something or someone, his lips parted, emitting a loud noise. He charged against a man and cut his head with his axe. Blood stained his grey fur, but he didn’t even noticed.

You stood there unmoving, watching how brow fur cloaks started falling to the floor, their owners dead.

Then, Taehyung and the other men dismounted from their horses and started fighting against the remaining wildlings dressed in brown. You saw a men approaching Taehyung’s back as he fighted against another one.

Without thinking twice, you charged your bow and shot the arrow at the men that was trying to surprise Taehyung from the back. His dead body with the arrow stuck on the side of his neck, fell to the floor at the same moment that the lifeless body of the men that was fighting against Taehyung did.

Taehyung’s head snapped in the direction of the arrow that had saved him and his eyes found yours. He seemed tired too, almost defeated, but when his dark eyes met yours, you saw a spark of hope in them.

He ran towards you while you stood there unmoving and when he was just in front of you, he engulfed you in his arms.

“Are you hurt?” He asked, his hands roaming your body in search for possible wounds. When he found none, he broke the hug, cupping your dirty face with both of his hands. He distanced his face from yours so he could inspect it with his gaze. “Are you alright?”

He looked worried, older even. With that frown, his lips forming a thin line and the tired look in his eyes.

“Let go of me,” you said, trying to escape from him, remembering how he had ignored you that morning, leaving you alone. When he heard your words, his eyes went wide, but he didn’t let go of you, instead, his thumbs started caressing your cheeks softly. “I said let go of me!” You shouted, grabbing his wrist and breaking the contact of his skin against yours.

You backed away, walking away from him, but he took a step towards you each time you took a step away from him.

“Y/N…” he whispered, standing still, as if he was afraid of scaring you and you running away from him.

“Taehyung!” You heard a voice. It was Sigrid’s. “Have you found her-“ she began to say, but as soon as she saw him, her eyes landed on you. “Oh, Gods. Y/N you’re alive!”

You escaped from Taehyung and ran towards Sigrid, tears filling her eyes and later running down her cheeks.

“Sigrid!” You shouted happily while you hugged her strongly. In the end, if you were alive was thanks to her, to her lessons and the patience she had with you all those past months.

“Taehyung!” Another voice said as the boy stood up from the floor, looking tired and defeated. You broke the hug to see who had called Taehyung’s name. A man you had never seen before was standing in the middle of the destroyed village. It seemed that it all had ended and you had made it out alive. “We found him.”

“Who?” You asked, still in Sigrid’s arms.

“That’s what we want to know,” she said, following Taehyung as he walked towards the man that had called him, looking at you from the corner of his eye as he passed by your side.

You walked a bit, looking sadly at the once beautiful and small huts that were now ashes and fallen pieces of wood full of blood and with dead bodies under them. When you arrived to the centre of the village, all the people were there. To your surprise there was more survivors than you thought there would be, and there were a horde of other men and women you had never seen, riding their horses and waiting for Taehyung to appear.

“Where is he?” Taehyung asked through clenched teeth.

The man that had led the three of you there, pointed towards a man that was kneeled on the ground, head hanging low and hands tied behind his back. He wore brown fur and a mask on his face.

“Is he the one who killed her?” Taehyung asked, striding furiously towards the man.

“Her?” You whispered to Sigrid.

“The Voice,” Sigrid said.

You frowned, not knowing what was going on or why there was so much fuss about a woman being killed when other people and children had been killed too.

But you just stared at Taehyung, who grabbed the man by the end of his hair and obliged him to look at his face. The mask covered his face, hiding his identity. Taehyung furiously tore it away from the man’s face, revealing to everyone who he was.

You, and most of the people who were standing there, expected to see an unfamiliar face, a face of another wildling, the murderer of some son, daughter, mother, father, friend, lover or loved one. But you, and most of the people who were standing there most definitely didn’t expect to see the face of Esben – Taehyung’s best friend and almost brother – behind that horrible, blood-stained mask.

“Esben?” Taehyung gasped, backing away from him with his mask still clutched in his hand.

You saw the expression on Taehyung’s face go from surprise, to confusion and the anger again.

“Fucking bastard…” Taehyung said as he walked towards Esben again and hit him hardly on his stomach with his foot once, twice, three times. The man eventually fell onto the ground, spitting blood from his mouth.

“Taehyung, stop!” Sigrid said, letting go of you and running towards Taehyung. “You are going to kill him!”

Sigrid grabbed Taehyung by his shoulders, pushing him away from the trembling body of Esben. He resisted a bit but eventually gave in and let Sigrid guide him away from Esben.

“Oh, I’m going to kill him for sure,” Taehyung said with a diabolic shine on his eyes that made you tremble. You had never seen him that angry before, and you couldn’t help but flinch when his eyes met yours through the crowd.

“He deserves it Tae,” you heard Sigrid said. “But not now, or here. He has to speak, explain why he has done this.”

Taehyung stopped looking at you to look once again at the man’s body.

“You heard her,” Taehyung said. “Now speak.”

Taehyung and the rest waited for Esben to speak, but the man didn’t move, he just stood there, encircling his stomach with his arms.

“I told you to speak!” Taehyung lost his patience and launched himself against Esben once more. But this time, Sigrid was faster and caught him before he could hit Esben again.

“Make him stand up,” she ordered to some men.

Three men walked towards Esben, and without any sort of delicacy, they moved him from his position and set him on the floor, standing by himself with difficulty.

“You told them where our village was, right?” Taehyung said, not waiting for Esben to gt accustomed to his new position. “Right?!”

“Y… Yes,” Esben stuttered, spitting more blood onto the floor. “I told them.”

Taehyung walked towards him ignoring Sigrids warnings and just grabbed a fistful of Esben’s hair and obliged him to lift his head. “Why?”

Esben avoided Taehyung’s eyes. “Last year, when the Board was debating whether or not to attack the continent and you said no, Garlot approached me,” he said. You didn’t know who Garlot was, but you supposed he was the leader of another clan, and therefore, another member of the Board. “He told me what I told you last night, that the continent belongs to us and that conquering it is the only way to bring peace to our people and make them survive.”

“And you believed him and not me, your best friend?” Taehyung asked. Everyone was looking at the scene taking part in front of you in silence.

“I already thought the same Taehyung,” Esben said. “He opened my eyes. You’re just blinded by your stupid Gods and morals and shit. I’ve tried to open yours, but I can’t.”

“I should have seen it when we talked last night,” Taehyung spoke, more to himself than for the rest to hear. He started pacing back and forth around the place.

“And ever since that whore of yours came here, you’ve been even more reticent about the idea of attacking the continent. I know she is feeding shit into your brain and…” he began saying, but Taehyung’s punch was on his face before he could finish the sentence.

“You should speak more carefully when you’re talking about my wife,” he said through clenched teeth.

Esben’s nose started bleeding from the impact, his hands being held by Taehyung’s men couldn’t do anything to prevent the blood from slipping down his lips and chin.

“Your wife,” Esben said in a mocking tone. “Your fucking wife, the one you are so stupidly in love with, and the one you haven’t even fucked yet because you’re afraid of her being afraid of you!”

You hear everyone gasping and everyone looked at you, except from Taehyung, who was still looking at Esben. But you didn’t care, for all you had heard was “stupidly in love with”.                                                                                      

“She has gotten all that shit about the continent in your head and I wasn’t going to let our people die because of that,” Esben continued, happy that he was getting all the attention again.

“She hasn’t gotten any shit in my head, that was my opinion before meeting her and that will be my opinion until the end of my days,” Taehyung spat.

“Well Taehyung, I’m afraid to tell you that maybe the end of your days isn’t as far away as you think it is,” Esben said with a devilish smile on his lips, blood covering his lips and teeth. “Today was only a warning of what’s about to come. The Board is against you and they will come after you.”

“Today was a warning, yeah Esben, but not for me, but for them,” Taehyung approached Esben dangerously. “This is just the beginning, and if they think I’m gonna run away like a scared puppy, they’re wrong. I’ll be waiting for them, I’ll fight-“

“You’ll fight and you’ll die,” Esben interrupted him, making Taehyung’s eyes shine with fury. “Ad your people will die with you.”

Taehyung walked away from Esben and faced the crowd. “I’m tired of y’all thinking that I’m dragging my people down with me,” he paused to take a breath. “But I’m not forcing anyone to follow me! I have an opinion that I’m not going to change, but if you think other way, if you think that starting a new war against an entire continent when we barely have peace amongst our people is the way to survive… Then, please, feel free to leave! Here! Now! You can live!”

Taehyung’s loud voice echoed through the silent, destroyed village. People were still crying the loss of their loved ones, too shocked about what had happened that morning to fully process the situation. But you saw, there and then - and you had seen it those ten months you had been there – the admiration, the trust, the love all those people had for Taehyung. He was one of them. He had been born there, amongst them. The eldest had seen him grow, the youngest had grown by his side. You could see the way their eyes looked at him, had heard how the children said they wanted to be like him when they grew up. And you had seen the admiration, the trust and the love Taehyung had for his people too. He was willing to give up his life for them. He was their leader, but not only that. He was their friend too, their confident, their role model.

“I don’t want to send my children to fight against an entire continent that they don’t even know anything about!” A voice said, breaking the silence.

“I am not going to fight for something that I don’t want!” Another voice said.

“We fight against that continent, and then what?! I love the north, I belong here. I was born here and I want to die here, not in a far away continent!” The voice of an older man said.

“That’s right!” A female voice said. “I hate summer and I hate the heat! I don’t want to live in a warmth place!”

After that, more voices raised, supporting Taehyung. But you weren’t looking at the people, you were looking at Taehyung.

He was in the centre of the crowd, his eyes searching for the voices that were supporting him. He smiled at each one of the people, and the people smiled back at him. He looked tired, devastated, but he still stood there, thanking them silently for their words.

In the end, Taehyung ended up silencing them.

“I’ll fight for you and your children. But, if you follow me, you’ll risk your lives and the lives of your children,” he said, his voice not so menacing anymore.

“We know that,” you looked towards Sigrid, who hadn’t spoken yet. “But I would rather die fighting for my people and my home, than die fighting for an unknown place that I don’t want and to which I don’t belong.”

“Me too!” A few voices shouted.

You smiled softly, realising that you too, would rather die there - in the north, fighting for your life and the lives of the people you loved - than die in your bedroom, back in Greyria, looking at your window and wondering how the world was at the other side of it, too scared of life to go and try to find it out for yourself.

“And what are you going to do now Taehyung?” Esben asked, provoking Taehyung.

But the latter, just smiled at Esben. “I’m going to take my people to a safe place and gather strength. And when the time comes, I’ll fight you and the rest of the Board and I’ll live the rest of my life peacefully here, where I belong.”

Esben let out a sarcastic laugh. “They’ll find you and they’ll kill you.”

“Not if I find them first,” he stated. He faced Esben once again and started walking around him, as if he was analysing him. “You betrayed me and the rest of my people. They were your people too, your parents and your brothers and sisters were amongst them, and you betrayed them. Do you know what that means?”

Esben laughed once again. “Are you seriously going to kill me, Taehyung?”

But when Taehyung smiled, Esben shut up quickly. “No, at least not today.”

Esben frowned, trying to look as if the situation didn’t bother him.

“Cedric, stick that trunk in the floor, in the centre of the village,” Taehyung ordered. Cedric and his men, obeyed immediately.

In the meantime, Taehyung crouched in front of Esben so their eyes would be at the same level.

“Treason means death,” Taehyung spoke. “But what is worst than death is staying here, tied to a trunk, dying of thirst and hunger, contemplating each day the faces of the ones that are dead because of you. The faces of your mother, your father, your little brother and sister, who were killed by your people.”

You saw Esben clenching his teeth and closing his eyes, trying to hide his tears. Trying to act as if nothing mattered to him. But he knew otherwise, and Taehyung did too.

“You will see how their bodies rot with time, how ravens, wolves and bears devour their flesh. They didn’t deserve this, dying because of you and then being left here to rot. Your father was a good man, your mother was like a mother to me, your little brother dreamed about being like you in the future, and your little sister… She would have been so beautiful… But because of you, they won’t be buried, they won’t have a funeral,” Taehyung said through clenched teeth. “And you won’t be able to do anything. You will wish I would have shown mercy with you, that I would have killed you. But as you say, the rest of the members of the Board are going to arrive here soon,” Taehyung continued speaking even after Cedric and his men finished sticking the tall trunk of a fallen tree on the ground. They dragged Esben towards the trunk, the man’s head lowered, his eyes on the floor. As they began tying his hands and his body with force to the tree, Taehyung continued speaking. “And they will find you amongst the bones of your family, and you will tell them one thing. That I’m tired of showing mercy.”

And with that, Taehyung spat on Esben’s feet as the other men tied him to the trunk. Esben didn’t move as he tried not to look at the unmoving bodies that rested by his side.

“Break one of his legs so he won’t be able to move or try to escape,” Taehyung whispered in Cedric’s ear, but he was close enough to you, for you to hear.

Cedric bowed his head once and then disappeared. Taehyung started walking away from the crowd, not looking back at Esben once. The rest of the people started searching around the place for their belongings and their family, some of them crying and letting out loud shouts of pain when they found out some familiar face amongst the lifeless bodies.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Sigrid running after Taehyung, who was quickly walking away from the centre of the village and towards, what you supposed, what his hut. Or what remained of it.

Not knowing what else to do, and not wanting to stop for a moment and let yourself think about everything that had happened and everything you had done, you ran towards both of them.

When you reached Sigrid, Taehyung was surrounded by men and women asking him for their families, their homes, what they were going to do, or where they were going to go. There were some of his trustworthy men and women.

“Taehyung, my daughter and some other kids were playing in the forest when it all happened!” A man said. “We should send someone to search them.”

Taehyung nodded. “Of course, I’ll send some people, I’m sure we will-“

“I was there with them when it happened,” you said. You were at the back of the group, but somehow, at the sound of your voice, everyone turned around and looked at you, even Taehyung. “I was playing with the kids when a girl named Neera ran into the woods. I went after her and… Well, it was already too late.”

“Neera is Edgar’s daughter,” a woman said. They all silenced for a moment, and you took that as your opportunity to continue speaking.

“But I came back to the clear and told the kids to go to the coast, to the pier,” you said, making some of the heads of the people around you snap back, their eyes shimmering with hope. “I saw them running towards there, and I know they know the forest like the palm of their hand, so they should be safe in the pier.”

“Oh my God,” you heard a woman say. You saw the man, who you supposed was her husband, embrace her with his arms. The woman had a relieved smile on her face, her hand resting on top of her chest.

“Okay,” Taehyung said after hearing the whole story. He avoided your eyes when you tried to look at his. “Find Edgar and tell him about… His daughter,” he spoke to his men. “Then go and find the other kids, they should be in the pier, and if they’re not, look for them in the forest.”

“Thank you,” a woman said, placing her hand on your shoulder as she disappeared with the rest of the people in search of the kids.

You smiled softly, feeling your heart swell with happiness. You had helped that woman’s child and you hoped that he or she was alive and safe.

“The rest of you,” Taehyung ordered, not even giving you a chance to feel your happiness completely. “Pick the rest of the bodies up and bring them to their families. We’ll bury them and give them a proper funeral. We’ll dig the graves in the forest, where no one can find them. The rest of the clans will arrive soon and we can’t be here when that happens,” he continued giving orders, and as he did so, men and women started running around the place to obey them. “Prepare the horses and the tents, food too, we are leaving before sunset.”

With that, only Sigrid, Taehyung and you, stayed back.

“And what do you want?” Taehyung said with a derogatory tone. He only looked at Sigrid, you realised, because he was avoiding you.

“Are you okay Tae?” You heard her call him Tae for the second time.

“Yes, I’m fine,” he grunted.

“I know how much Esben meant to you, he was my friend too and-“ Sigrid continued.

“I am fine, are you deaf?” He interrupted her, raising his voice and making Sigrid take a step back. “He betrayed me, so he is dead to me.”

“But you can’t just-“ Sigrid tried to speak again.

“Leave me alone,” he spat. “Go and help the rest.”

“Taehyung please, you can’t shut yourself from the rest of the world right now. You need us and we need you. Come and help the people with me,” Sigrid said.

“I need to see my hut,” Taehyung said.

“And then what?” Sigrid tried to convince him. “Find it destroyed and burnt like the rest? You will only hurt yourself more with that.”

“I don’t care!” He shouted, the vein of his neck popping against his skin. “I told you to fucking leave me alone!”

Sigrid looked angry as she huffed and stormed out of there.

“And what about you?” Taehyung said in a mocking tone. “Are you going to pretend that you know shit about me too?”

He looked you in the eye then, and when he did you could only see the expressionless eyes of a hurt man.

“No, because I don’t, I don’t know you,” you simply stated. But that seemed to make him even angrier. “I don´t know anything because all you do is keep me in the dark!”

He laughed bitterly, pinching the bridge of his nose with two of his slender fingers. He was tired, angry and annoyed, he needed to be alone, but you were tired, angry and annoyed too, and after all you had seen that day, all you needed was to clear your mind if you didn´t want to go crazy.

“All I know is because of Sigrid or the rest of the clan,” you spat angrily.

“And what do you want me to do?! Sit you on my lap and tell you the story of my life while we happily eat raspberries in the forest?!” he raised his voice, making you flinch a bit. The sky was full of angry, dark clouds and the breeze that seeped through your clothes and your skin, made your bones tremble like pieces of domino.

“No! All I wanted was for you to open up a bit to me! So at least I could understand you!” you said.

“Open up,” he repeated, laughing bitterly again. You felt as if he was mocking you. “Open up. You wanna know what happens to you when you open up to somebody? They take advantage of that information and use it against you.”

“You´ll never know if you never try,” you said.

“I´ve tried, and look where it led us,” he looked at his surroundings. The burnt huts, the destroyed forest, the remaining columns of smoke in the air… “He betrayed me.”

“You opened up to Sigrid too, and she has never betrayed you,” you didn´t even know what you wanted to achieve with that conversation at that point.

“She has never betrayed me yet,” he said harshly, accentuating the word ‘yet’. “But she has all the information she needs to destroy me, she could do that whenever she wants.”

You frowned. “You don´t trust Sigrid after all she has done for you?”

“I trust no one,” he spat.

“You will end up alone,” you whispered, somehow feeling sorry for him. His best friend, his brother, had betrayed him. His right hand, the one he told everything to… If he had betrayed him, why wouldn´t the rest betray him too?

“Better alone than dead,” he said stubbornly.

“Well, if you trust no one, not even your own people, why are you going to fight for them?” you asked.

You knew he had no reason to trust you, after all, if he didn´t trust Sigrid who had seen him grow… Why would he trust you? But what hurt you the most, was the fact that you knew you trusted him without any doubt and you didn´t even know why.

“I owe them that, I am their leader,” he said.

“But you don´t owe me anything, you´re not my leader or my friend,” your voice sounded severe as you tried searching for his eyes. He was trying to avoid your glance. “And I´m guessing you don´t trust me either, so why do you keep my by your side?”

He opened his mouth as if he was ready to say the first thing that had come to his mind. But as soon as he did that, he closed it again, his lips forming a thin line, his eyes becoming severe.

Despite him trying to keep the expressionless facade up, acting as if nothing affected him, the situation or your words, you could see that, behind that curtain, only hid a frightened boy. His eyes were sparkling than ever, glossy even, his cheeks red and he kept biting his lips. Behind that though leader was hiding the young, daydreamer boy Sigrid had spoken to you about , and he was trying to get to the surface.

“You´re my wife,” he shrugged.

“Doesn´t seem so,” you said, shaking your head.

He scoffed silently, his eyes narrowing as he pierced you with them.

“I don´t know why you´re still here, I told you to go away and leave me alone,” he spat, he was angry again, you could hear the venom behind his words.

Now, you were the one who narrowed your eyes at him. His words hurt you a bit, but your pride won the hurt, and you wouldn´t give up that easily.

“What Esben said earlier…” you began to say. “Is it true?”

“He only said bullshit, he is just a coward,” he spat, his eyes looking everywhere but you.

“No, I´m not referring to that,” you doubted for a moment. You were sure you wanted to ask him if what you heard was true, but you couldn´t help feeling a bit hesitant about it. Your voice softened, and you cleared your throat before speaking again. “He said that… Well h-he… He said that you are stupidly in love with me. Is that… Is that true?”

It was only a moment, but you saw it. You saw the surprise in his features, obviously not expecting that question. You saw how his eyes widened and his lips parted, letting out an erratic breath. But it was an only a moment, because immediately he composed himself and he came back to the expressionless Taehyung.

“He only said bullshit, I already told you,” he said in a stern voice. But it was just stern, because you couldn´t decipher if he was angry, sad, tired or nothing for that matter.

Something similar to a knife piercing through your heart could be felt in that moment. You tried to hide the disappointed expression in your face and thanked God that Taehyung ’s eyes were avoiding you like crazy, because you were sure that, if he had been looking at you, he would have been able to see the pain in your eyes and he would have been able to hear your heart breaking.

“Well, if that´s so, I won´t bother you anymore,” you said, looking towards him one last time before starting to walk towards the path which Sigrid had followed.

With every step you took that carried you away from Taehyung you started to feel the weight of all that had happened that day. Waking up to an empty bed, him ignoring you, the attack of the other wildlings, the lifeless bodies of those kids, their impassible faces as their eyes were staring blankly towards the horizon, the hands of that man roaming your skin, the sound of your arrows as they pierced through flesh, the screams, the fire, the blood, Esben´s betrayal, “your fucking wife, the one you are so stupidly in love with” and the sudden feeling of disappointment you had felt when he had told you those words were just bullshit.

Somehow, you looked down at your hands, only to find them covered in blood. Neera´s blood, and the blood of the people you had killed. Killed… You had become a murderer. You had taken lives, of people, of sons and daughters, of friends, of lovers, of fathers, mothers…

It all hit you like a tsunami and you felt as if you were under water, sinking and drowning, not being able to breathe, only gasping for air.

“Why are you crying?” Taehyung asked in a surprisingly soft voice.

From the corner of your eye you could see a shadow approaching you quickly, but you couldn´t stop looking at your hands, blood already drying. It wasn´t some wolf´s blood anymore, it was human blood.

Eventually, you stopped gasping for air and fell on your knees. That’s when you realised you weren´t drowning, that you weren´t gasping for air because water was surrounding you. You were gasping for air because you had stopped breathing, trying to swallow your own tears, not wanting to cry. It was the second time you broke down that day, but this time, you didn´t try to stop Taehyung as he ran towards you.

“Y/N!” you heard Taehyung say as he kneeled in front of you.

You felt the touch of his harsh hands against your tear-stained cheeks. His thumbs brushed away the tears that were rolling down your skin.

“Y/N,” he whispered.

“The- There´s blood. There´s so much blood,” you muttered, fighting against Taehyung, who wanted you to lift your head up and look him in the eye instead of your blood-stained hands. A loud cry escaped from your lips as you remembered Neera´s laugh, her smile, her bright personality…

Taehyung grabbed your hands with his, leaving your cheeks and letting your tears fall freely down your face.

“Let´s go,” he said, pulling from your hands so you would stand up.

All strength had left your body the moment you had fallen on your knees, so you didn´t even try fighting against him.

“We´ll clean that up, okay?” he whispered, his voice still soft, reminding you of the touch of your favourite velvet dress, the one you had left folded on top of your bed the day you left Greyria. You softly nodded and let him lead you.

At some point, your feet arrived to the shore of the lake. As Taehyung crouched on the floor, carrying you with him, your mind travelled to the night of your wedding. To the soft touches of his hands against yours as he cleaned the blood from your hands, the vibrant feeling that had invaded your body as your lips touched yours.

You lifted your eyes from your hands as Taehyung sunk them into the freezing water of the lake and began cleaning them. The cold numbed your senses and left you trembling, but you welcomed it with open eyes. In the end, it had been your only friend for the past year, your ally. The cold had prevent you from feeling when you needed it the most, when you heard your parents speaking about your wedding with Taehyung. It had prevented you from falling into melancholy, sadness and darkness, leaving you numb and senseless, only being able to breath and carry on with your life. But all your problems had started as soon as warmth had started to fill the gaps the cold had left.

That warmth that Sigrid had brought you with her smile and her conversations, with her laughs and with her friendship. That warmth of sitting around the bonfire with a warm bowl of soup in your hands as you contemplated the people of the clan laughing and telling stories. The warmth of people starting to accept you for who you became. The warmth of falling in love.

Taehyung had a deep frown over his features, his eyes focused on your hands and the blood that was disappearing from them. It all felt as if you were reliving the night of your wedding.  Somehow, you wished you could close your eyes and forget about it all: the deaths, the blood, the pain… And just keep living by feeling the touch of Taehyung.

But you couldn´t, because you couldn´t close your eyes when all you wanted to do was observe his beautiful, soft features.

“Didn´t you want to leave?” you asked a bit harshly.

His lips never parted, forming a thin line, his hands working over yours.

“This reminds me of our wedding night,” you said softly, seeing he wouldn´t say anything. “But that night, it was warm, it was summer. And I hadn´t killed anyone.”

Taehyung remained silent once again, afraid of saying anything that could hurt you.

“I´ve killed people,” you whispered.

“I´ve killed people too,” he whispered back. “We´ve killed people to save other people.”

“I had never killed anyone,” you lifted your eyes to find his already looking at you.

He nodded understandingly. “I remember the first time I killed someone. I was fifteen and the man I killed was forty. I remember crying and puking afterwards.”

“Why did you kill him?”

“He killed my grandmother and I crossed the entire north searching for him, seeking revenge. When I found him I slid a knife down his neck, just like he had done with my grandma,” he simply said.

“And you felt good after killing him?” you asked.

“I’ve never felt good ever since then,” he shrugged, as if it didn´t matter for him anymore.

“Would I ever feel good after this?” you wondered.

“I don´t know,” he shrugged. “Only time will tell.”

You scanned his face with your eyes wondering why he was being so soft with so suddenly.

“You confuse me,” you whispered, not knowing if those words had made it out of your mouth or not.

He momentarily rose his eyes and looked at you. “Why?”

“Just moments ago you were yelling at me and basically telling me to fuck off,” you said.

“I just…” his voice stuttered a bit. “I just can´t stand seeing you cry.”

“Oh, but you can stand hurting me and being mean towards me?” you asked as he let go of your hands.

He simply stood up, not saying a word, and you followed him.

“I´ll take that as a yes,” you said, your voice harsh once again.

“No,” he said, his voice raspy and deep. “I can’t stand it either.”

You frowned. “But still, you do it.”

“It´s easier this way, for the both of us,” he said.

“You already told me that, just before sleeping with me and complicating everything,” you spat.

“Yeah, I guess, but in that moment it was all I could think about and I wanted you. I don´t regret it,” he said. His eyes searched yours, and when they found them, he stared deeply at you.

“Then why did you leave me alone in the bed this morning?” you asked.

“I needed some time to think,” he sighed.

“So you weren´t drunk tonight and when you realized what you had done ran away?”

“I already told you, I wasn´t drunk, I just drank a bit of wine.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, tired. You didn´t understand anything. He didn´t hate you, but acting as if he hated you was the best for you. He could stand saying harsh words towards you and leaving you alone after sleeping with you, but he couldn´t stand seeing you cry.

“I need to rest,” you whispered, more to yourself than for him to listen.

He didn´t say anything, he just stood there, his mind racing just as fast as yours. You started walking the path that lead to the centre of the village once again, hoping you would find Sigrid and at least you´d be able to speak with someone who didn´t play any games with your mind and your health.

“Y/N” he called out for you. You turned around so you could see him. “Not everything Esben said was bullshit.”

Your heart stopped as your ears caught those words. You were about to open your mouth to ask what was he referring to, but he had already disappeared in the shadows of the forest.

. . .

Those words kept echoing through your mind that night, as you rode on your horse. As you abandoned the destroyed village and the graves of the dead ones, those six words were all you could think about. And they kept being all you could think about for the rest of your journey.

Slowly, minutes turned into hours, hours into days, and days eventually turned into weeks. Trees were covered in orange and brown colours when you finally arrived to your destination: a small valley in between two stony mountains. It was full of trees and bushes from which you could gather berries and other fruits. It had a river too and the mountains that surrounded it protected you from the harsh winds and cold of autumn. It was the perfect place to hide from the other clans, and the perfect place to live in until war started.

It was the perfect place to become crazy too, or so you thought.

Silence was a constant in the camp the wildlings had set, only broken by muffled whispers and the sounds of nature. People did their tasks in silence, even the kids played quietly too. No more bonfires, no more parties, no more music. Just silence and the sound of the wind that seeped through the mountains.

When you weren´t speaking with Sigrid, or playing with the kids, you were fishing with the rest of the clan, or hunting. Everything, so you wouldn´t have any free time to think.

Sigrid told you that war was coming, that the other clans were gathering forces, and the only thing that prevented them from attacking you was the fact that they didn´t know where you were. She told you too, that Taehyung had been speaking secretly with two other leaders of the Board who had been against the attack at his clan, and that were willing now to fight for him. But other than that, you knew nothing.

Taehyung was too busy with meetings and secret trips to see the other leaders, planning his attack, preparing his village for the upcoming war, to pay attention to you. But the truth was that he was ignoring you again, because every time you saw him at the camp, either he was trying to escape from you, turning around so you wouldn´t see him, or he was disappearing into the forest in the middle of the night to go to who knows where.

“Are there any news?” you asked to Sigrid one night after dinner. You were already going to sleep since sun had set a few hours ago and with the moon only came the freezing cold. The best way to avoid from freezing alive was to sleep.

“No, not many,” she shrugged. “Taehyung spoke with Ygor, the leader of the wildlings in the mountains. He said the rest of the Board had a meeting last week and that they are searching for us.”

“But they´re still clueless about our position, right?”

“Yeah,” Sigrid said. “Esben is with them, so he is probably leading them towards the places he thinks we can be hiding in. But Taehyung never spoke to anyone about this place, so we´re safe for now.”

“And that Ygor… Can we trust him?” you felt as if you were interrogating her, but since she was you only source of information and Taehyung avoided you like the plague, all you could do was ask and hope it would all be all right.

“We can trust no one,” Sigrid said, reminding you of Taehyung´s words. “But he is our only hope. He is still out there and he is the one who brings us the information about the Board since he has allies in it, plus, his clan is the biggest of the six main clans in the north.”

You nodded, hoping she was right and that Ygor was really your ally. You lifted your head up when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Sigrid was looking at you, a worried expression on her face.

“This will be over before winter starts,” she said. “And if we win, there will be finally peace in the north.”

You smiled softly. “Finally.”

Sigrid smiled too. She rarely smiled so brightly, so when she did, it lit up her whole face, making her look like a fairy. “Maybe I will finally be able to show you how to dance properly.”

“Excuse me?” you asked, acting as if you were offended. Well, maybe you were a bit offended. You always knew dancing was not your strongest point, but you had hoped that taking dance classes when you were a kid would have helped you. “My dancing skills are not that bad.”

“Maybe… For a ball full of pompous dresses and expensive champagne,” she joked. “I meant dancing properly, like we dance here.”

“Well, we´ll see,” you said, laughing softly. Somehow, laughing after all that had happened felt wrong.

“Oh, yes, we´ll see,” Sigrid smiled devilishly and started to walk towards her tent. “It´s freezing cold, I might just get in my sack now if I don´t want to freeze like an ice cube.”

“Yeah, I´ll do the same,” you lied. Despite the cold night, you had no intention of getting into your tent.

After saying goodnight to Sigrid and watching her get into her tent, you looked all around you to see if someone was looking at you. The camp was deserted, and the few people that were out of their tents were either watching the group or gathering their things to go to bed.

You took advantage of that and began walking through the forest. You weren´t tired, for all you had done that day was eat and watch the kids while they were playing in the camp, and you knew that trying to sleep would only lead you to think. And you had already thought too much.

As you walked through the trees you saw all sort of animals. From insects to a young stag. Contemplating all that happened around you distracted you from the noises in your head and your other thoughts. Probably, that´s why you didn´t notice when you arrived at the highest point of the valley. It was a small mountain surrounded and enclosed by the two enormous mountains that formed the valley.

You had never been there, but as soon as you arrived, you stopped so you could take a look at the place. It was beautiful. The grass was taller there, since there were no trees, only bushes and some rocks. It almost reminded you of Greyria, where the wisps of grass would caress your knees as you walked through them. And because there were no trees in that small hump, you could see the sky clearly.

The camp was under some high pines, protecting you from the sight of your enemies but preventing you from seeing the sky too. It had its pros and cons, but in the two weeks you had been there, you hadn´t been able to see clearly the clouds, or the blue sky, and much less, the stars.

Your eyes contemplated the small dots of light that filled the sky that night. The wind was heavier there, playing with your cloak and turning your nose red from the cold, but it made the clouds vanish, creating an empty canvas of dark blue and small lights.

As your eyes wandered around the place, you thought that maybe you could turn it into your own place and go there every time you needed to stop thinking. But you completely left that option aside when your eyes landed on a shadow, not so far from the edge of the hump.

And even though his back was facing you, you recognised him.

Taehyung was sitting on a small rock near the edge of the hump. His body covered in his usual furred cloak, his hair was waving because of the strong air. His arms rested on top of his bended knees and his eyes wandered all over the sky.

You thought for a moment if you should turn around and disappear and forget that you had ever seen him there, or if you should sit by his side.

Where you ready to face him? You didn´t know. Did you want to face him? You didn´t know.

But you guessed your body somehow decided before your mind could, because suddenly, you were walking towards him and taking a seat by his side.

“Hey,” you whispered as you sat on the ground next to him, not wanting to scare him.

The look on his face when he saw you there, taking a seat next to him, made you believe he would run away immediately, somewhere between startled and hesitant.

“Hey,” he answered you after a brief moment, shifting uncomfortably on the rock and trying to compose himself a bit.

You didn´t know who was more confused in that moment. He, who was uncomfortably looking towards the horizon, trying to ignore while he asked himself what were you doing there; or you, who had never seen Taehyung looking so nervous before.

“I was taking a walk and I found this place,” you began to say, feeling that you had to explain himself in case he believes you had followed him there.

He simply nodded, the gesture so soft you barely captured it.

Your mind started to think about possible conversations then,  thousands of questions, words, echoing through your mind. You wanted to ask him what had he meant by saying that not all Esben said was bullshit when you last saw him. Or ask him why he had been avoiding you. Or ask him what he was doing there.

Instead, you spoke about the weather.

“The wind blows with strength tonight,” you said, flinching at your own words and how formal they sounded. You were tense and you knew he could sense it, but he wasn´t any more relaxed than you were. “I guess that´s why the sky it´s so clear.”

He heard you, but he said nothing. His eyes came up to the sky once again while you studied his features. His usual tanned skin looked pale, he had bags under his eyes and he looked tired, but at the same time, he looked beautiful there, with the moonlight bathing his soft features.

You thought about your relationship with him. At first you had hated him, thinking that he was some arrogant and rude savage. Then, you had softened when Sigrid told you what happened to him. Lastly, you hated him once again because of how he lead you on and then abandoned you. And somewhere in between, you fell in love with him.

Sighing, you let yourself fall onto the floor, your back hitting softly the rock under your furred cloak. Your eyes imitated Taehyung´s and started to wander over the sky. Stars and constellations had never interested you, so you had never taken some time to observe them. Now that you did, you found out they were really beautiful, dots of light in the middle of nowhere. And then, there was the moon, the biggest of lights in the sky, her light illuminating everything underneath her.

You didn´t notice when Taehyung imitated you and laid his back on the floor too.

“I come here every night in search of something,” he said. His voice sounded nearer than you expected, startling you a bit.

You were surprised about him speaking out of nowhere, but you couldn´t waste the chance to have a conversation with him.

“In search of what?” you asked, voice curious but eyes still focused on the sky.

“In search of the Aurora Borealis,” he whispered.

You frowned a bit. “What´s that?”

You couldn´t see his face, but Taehyung´s eyes widened and he lifted his brows. “You´ve never heard about the Aurora Borealis?”

“No,” you simply answered as you shook your head. He was looking at you from the corner of his eye.

“I´ve never seen it, but when I was a kid, my grandma was always speaking about it,” he said, you could hear the soft smile in his voice. “She said it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.”

“It appears in the sky?” you asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “It´s like a wave of light that illuminates the sky in green, yellow, blue, purple colours…”

“And you are waiting to see it?”

“I´ve been waiting to see it ever since I first heard about it,” he breathed.

“I´ve never heard about it before,” you said, frowning a bit.

“It can only be seen in the north´s sky, but thousand of sailors and other men have come here to see it,” Taehyung said. “They have even written books about it, trying to explain why it occurs.”

“And why does it occur?” you asked, really curious about it. It was the first time Taehyung was opening to you and you wanted to take everything he could offer to you.

“No one knows,” he shrugged. “But here in the north we know its story.”

“Its story?” you asked. “Isn´t it some sort of physical phenomenon?”

“Physical phenomenon?” he repeated. “Oh no, Y/N, it is pure magic.”

“I don´t believe in magic,” you said, not wanting to offend him, but just telling him the truth.

You looked at him and saw him smiling. It was a beautiful smile, one that didn´t belong to a cruel man, a ruthless leader. One smile that belonged to a young boy, whose eyes yearned for something, for everything.

“Magic is what moves the world, what creates life,” he said. “My grandmother told me that magic was the first thing to exist in this world and that it will be the last. It created everything you see now, and those who don´t believe in it are just blind. They see nature, by they don´t see its essence.”

You frowned again. “Essence?”

“Mhm,” he nodded. You could see the spark in his eyes as he spoke, you could see the curious kid Sigrid had told you about. “When you look at that star what do you see?”

He said, pointing towards a big star. “That one?” you asked. “Well, I see…” you tried to look better, trying to find something hidden. But you found nothing. “I see a star.”

Taehyung scoffed. “See? You´re blind.”

“I´m not blind, I saw the star-��� you protested, but he shushed you.

“Now close your eyes,” he said. You looked at him, finding his eyes already on you.

“What?”

“Close your eyes,” he insisted. You took a deep breath and then obeyed him. “Have you closed them?”

“Yeah,” you murmured.

“Alright,” he simply said. “Now control your breathing. Breath in, breath out. Focus in your senses. What you feel.”

You did as he said, breathing softly, feeling how your heart beats slowed and you relaxed. You couldn´t see anything, and because of that, the rest of your senses multiplied.

“Feel the coldness of the rock underneath your hands,” you heard the soft voice of Taehyung. “Feel the air on your skin, but don´t limit yourself to feel its coldness, feel its power. How the wind moves your hair, how it caresses the curve of your lips and nose, how it plays with your eyelashes. Feel it dancing.”

You had never stopped to think about the wind. It was just wind, but now that you were feeling it, properly feeling it all over your face, you marvelled in how it could cause a thousand sensations on you.

“Feel the light of the moon and how it plays with your heart race,” he continued. “Hear the sound of the wind, the sound of the small insects that surround us, the sound of the animals. Hear the song of the forest as the wind moves the trees and its branches.”

You felt overwhelmed by it all. Time stopped to you, you stopped for a moment, stopped thinking, worrying, observing… And started feeling, to the point you could feel the earth vibrating underneath you.

“Now open your eyes,” he said, his voice sounding near you. You felt it too, the power of his voice and how deep it was. “Now look at that same star again.”

You opened your eyes softly, feeling as if you had slept for twenty four hours, and looked at the star. It wasn´t just a star, it was much more than that. It was light, created by nature itself, so beautiful and pure, no other than magic could have created it. You saw that its light wasn´t as white as the light of the moon, it had golden undertones to it. It blinked, vibrating just like the earth vibrated underneath your body, just like your heart vibrated in your chest.

“It´s alive,” you whispered.

Taehyung smiling proudly. “It is,” he said.

“How?” you asked, surprise could be heard in your voice.

“Each one of those stars are souls Y/N, that´s why the stars are alive,” he whispered. He had a look of admiration so pure in his face, you thought he wasn´t the Taehyung you knew.

“But… How are they souls?” you asked.

“They are souls of our ancestors, souls so pure they could never stop shining,” he said. “When the bodies that contained those souls died, the Gods couldn´t let their lights extinguish, so they decided to put them in the sky so they could shine forever.”

“Woah, it is beautiful,” you exclaimed, looking at every one of those stars. As their lights blinked at you, you could feel them contemplating you both.

“It is, but it is nothing compared to the Aurora Borealis,” he said.

“Tell me about it,” you said eagerly. “Why have you never seen it?”

He smiled softly. “Because it only happens each twenty three years, and the last time that it occurred, I was being born.”

“Oh,” you said.

“Yeah, my grandmother told me that, when my mother started giving birth to me, suddenly the sky became green and purple with a wave of light. Because of that, she always said that my eyes had been made to contemplate the Aurora Borealis.”

“So this year it will happen again?” you asked.

“Yeah, just as winter starts,” he said.

“And you´re going to see it,” you whispered.

“Yeah, I hope so,” he smiled. “I´ve been waiting to do so all my life.”

“And what´s that story you mentioned before?” you asked.

“Ah,” he said teasingly, “Are you willing to hear it now? Or do you still think it is some sort of physical phenomenon?”

“I´m willing to hear it,” you said.

“I guess you don´t know anything about Ragnar, our God of war,” he said.

You shook your head and he continued.

“Ragnar not only is our God of war, he was the first of us too, the first wildling” he explained, his eyes lost in the sky. “His mother came from the north, from here. She travelled to the continent, escaping from all the destruction that humans were causing here, escaping from the cold, searching for a new place to live in. Her name was Alfhild and she was one of the most beautiful women in the north, brave and strong-willed too, not older than you. When they arrived there, they found nothing but lands and vast forests, what they didn´t know was that the continent had been long inhabited by creatures similar to humans, but bigger and stronger: the giants. Their king, Sigurd, sent some men to arrest the new foreigners and then kill them. But when he saw Alfhild he immediately fell in love with her beauty and her strong personality, and he wasn´t able to kill her or her people. Soon Alfhid fell in love with the giant too, finding beauty in his charisma and determination. The giants were against their union, not wanting the humans in their territory, but humans were against that union too, since they didn´t want a giant amongst them. They tried to kill both Sigurd and Alfhid, but they failed. That triggered a war that lasted fifty years between the humans and the giants - Sigurd being the King of the giants and Alfhid their Queen. Six months after Sigurd´s death in the battlefield, Alfhild gave birth to a half-man, half-giant baby: Ragnar. He grew in times of war and hate, being the strongest and fiercest warrior just like his father, with his mother intelligence and strong personality. He soon became the King of the giant people. After years and years of war, he found that the war between giants and humans had no sense, since the continent was big enough for both of the races to live together in harmony. That´s when he met a human girl named Moonstone, she was the leader of the humans. She had silver hair and black eyes, with fierce features. He had never seen something as beautiful as her, and immediately fell in love with her. She rejected him and tried ignoring him, but eventually, she fell in love with him too.”

Taehyung made a small pause to look at you, making sure he still had all your attention. Your eyes had been on his face the entire time, and when he saw that, he continued looking at the sky and telling you the story of the Aurora Borealis.

“Despite Alfhid´s warnings to not marry her, Ragnar couldn´t forget his love for the human girl and ignored her mother´s warnings, marrying the girl that same winter. With their marriage, the alliance between the humans and the giants begun, and it brought peace to the continent and to both races. Despite being in love with the half-human, half-giant, Moonstone´s heart belonged to her people, the humans, and so, she betrayed Ragnar and assaulted their castle at night, catching him and his people by surprise. Despite the giants being stronger, they didn´t expect the assault and most of them died that night, Alfhid amongst them. When Moonstone went to the chamber she shared with Ragnar, she found him there, waiting for her. Betrayed and hurt, Ragnar stuck his knife in his wife´s chest as she murmured her last words: “make me yours”. He left the dead body of Moonstone and the continent that night, escaping to the north with his people. Only two giants were left, the rest being half-humans, half-giants. He established his home here, in the north and soon became to love its cold weather and how quickly time passed here, but he could not forget his lover, Moonstone, and how he had killed. He started to become crazy, seeing her everywhere, repeating those last words “make me yours”. Crazy and desperate, he contacted all sort of women who knew about ancient rituals and how to bring people back to life, but they all told him that it was impossible, all but one. It was woman, younger than him, who knew about ancient rituals and runes since her mother had been the Voice of her clan. She told him she could not turn his lover back to life, but he could make him see her from time to time. He accepted before even knowing the consequences of it all, blinded by his madness, his guilt, and his love. The girl tore Ragnar´s necklace from his neck, a necklace that had belonged to Moonstone and that was made of the mineral that had given her that name: moonstone. It was small, transparent, but if you looked better into it, it had a shine, a wave of colour that broke the monotony of the clear glass. She broke the mineral and slid Ragnar´s throat with its sharp edge. Ragnar´s body felt limply onto the floor, unmoving, the crystal shining brightly, covered with his blood. As the light disappeared from the first wildling´s eyes, a round celestial body appeared in the sky, and the girl named it Moon. The Moon was white, with a halo that looked like liquid silver, fierce and beautiful, just like Moonstone. And then, a wave of radiant colours appeared in the sky, encircling the Moon and admiring her. Vibrant green, the colour of Ragnar´s eyes, golden like the strands of his hair, purple, like the blood than ran through his veins. And the girl named it Aurora Borealis, created to contemplate its beloved Moon, doomed to never touch her again, or go near her, only being able to swim through the night sky each twenty three years - the age of the young Ragnar - and see her from afar.“

When Taehyung´s words disappeared in the wind, you both stayed still, contemplating the moon. You could feel her halo of liquid silver caressing your eyelids as you closed your eyes.

"It´s a beautiful story,” you whispered.

“Yes, it is,” Taehyung said, making you open your eyes and look at him. You could see his eyes flickering through the different stars, and you wondered if his eyes not only searched for the Aurora Borealis, if they searched for the lost souls of the people he once loved amongst them, hoping one of those blinking lights would have his grandmother´s wise eyes, or his mother´s tender smile, or his father´s vibrant voice.

“You will see the Aurora Borealis, Taehyung,” you breathed softly. Hearing the smile in your voice, Taehyung craned his neck and looked at you. “And it will be beautiful, I´m sure of it.”

His eyes wandered all over your face, a serious expression all over his features.

“Will you see it with me?” he asked you.

You didn´t even have to think twice before answering him. You knew you wouldn´t want to see the Aurora Borealis with anyone if it wasn´t with Taehyung.  "Of course.“

"Good,” he said, looking at the sky once again. You did the same, your eyes unconsciously following his through the dark canvas filled with small lights.

His hand searched for yours under the fur of your cloak, his fingers silently finding yours and interlacing them with his. You both smiled softly, no words needed to know what you both felt for each other, because in that moment, you could feel your hearts beating at the same pace.

. . .

You searched for the Aurora Borealis with him for the next month.

Both of you laid on that same rock, on that same hump, every night since that first one. Even if it was raining, you and Taehyung would look up at the sky, covered under the roof of a tent that Taehyung would bring to the hump. Eyes avidly travelling all over the night sky, hands interlaced under your cloaks, waiting for the arrival of the Aurora Borealis, waiting for the arrival of winter.

His eyes started to be brighter, his mood lighter, and his heart more open to you. You started to know him, to know the real Taehyung, with his silly laughs and even more sillier jokes. You started to see the curious Taehyung too. But he wasn´t the old Taehyung just around you, he started to be the old Taehyung around everyone. Sometimes, when he wasn´t in one of his meetings with some of Ygor´s men or some of his guards, he could be seen playing with the kids around the forest, or feeding the horses as he caressed their manes tenderly.

And when you thought you couldn´t fall even deeper for him, you found your eyes unconsciously searching for him every time you saw a crowd of people, you found yourself observing his facial expressions as he looked at the stars every night, you found your lips aching to touch his once again, you found yourself leaning in and pressing your lips softly to his, and one night, you found yourself making love to him once again with the stars and the moon as your only witnesses. So, when you thought you couldn´t fall even deeper for him, you found yourself loving him with all you had, body and soul.

Eventually winter came to the small valley, covering the high points of the mountains and the pines with snow, its wind being crueller than ever, leaving you breathless once it hit you with all its strength, the meadows naked and the rivers frozen. But you never lived a winter as warm as that one. The cold feeling you had one embraced so willingly, was now long forgotten, replaced now by warmth, by Taehyung.

You stirred softly in your sheets, getting rid of the last remains of sleep.

As you turned around, your naked body found another one. You felt its warmth radiating from its skin to yours, so you pressed yourself even tighter to that body and smiled happily.

When you felt that Taehyung didn´t move as you encaged his body with yours, you finally opened your eyes. You hoisted yourself up a bit so you could see his face more clearly. He was awake, eyes completely open as he looked at the ceiling of the tent. The bags under his eyes and the frown between his brows let you know that he hadn´t slept that much.

“Hey,” you softly whispered in your morning voice. “What´s wrong?”

It took him a couple of seconds to answer to your worried voice. But eventually, he blinked and when he opened his eyes again, they found yours. His hand came up until it found one of your cheeks and he caressed the skin there with his thumb. It was such a tender touch you didn´t want it to end, so you leaned your head further onto his big hand.

“Nothing,” he murmured before lifting his head up a bit so he could give you a soft peck on the lips. “Go back to sleep, it is still early.”

He then set his arm under his head and with the one that was still touching you, he pushed the back of your neck softly so you would rest your head on his naked chest. The outside was cold, but your tent always remained warm somehow.

You tried to close your eyes and relax with the sound of his heart beat and the caresses of his hand over your shoulder blades, but you couldn´t ignore what worried the both of you.

You pressed one of your hands against his chest and started drawing small circles over his skin, knowing how much he loved that.

“I know something´s on your mind Tae,” you whispered. “We said we would tell each other everything that worried us.”

He sighed loudly, his chest moving up and down as the air fell from his parted lips.

“I know,” he simply said.

You hoisted yourself again so you were looking at his face, your hand still caressing the skin of his chest.

“I don´t want to press you any further, but what worries you has to be important if you haven´t slept all night,” you said softly.

Not only had he started to open up more to you, you had started to be more patient and understanding with him, too and if he needed time, you would give him time.

He shook his head, closing his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again. The look in his eyes didn´t help either your patience or your understanding with him.

“I lied to you because I wanted to protect you,” he began to say.

Your body stiffened, and he immediately sensed it, setting a strand of your hair behind your ear in a tender way.

“Lied about what?” you said, this time you were the one who frowned.

He took his time once again before answering you, his eyes travelling everywhere around the tent and finally landing on the necklace of moonstone that hung from your neck. His hand came up to grab it and he observed the mineral.

His eyes avoided you as his following words fell from his lips. “We´re marching against the members of the Board today.”

It took you a couple of minutes to sink those ten words completely, to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Why Taehyung had been having more meetings that past week than usual, why he had been more serious compared to how he had started to be around you, how he had been so tense and deep in thought. Why you had been seeing Sigrid running from place to place, not having time to take a walk with you. Why you had been seeing Ygor´s men in the camp more frequently, and why Ygor himself had visited the camp that week. Why Taehyung´s men had been fabricating new weapons and preparing the horses… It all made sense. Winter had arrived, and war had arrived with it.

You grabbed Taehyung´s wrist and broke the contact of his hand against your cheek, shoving it away and sitting completely, grabbing the sheets and blankets to cover your naked form from his eyes. He did the same, sitting too, but not caring about hiding his naked body from your eyes, too worried about your reaction to care.

“I told you it was a mere expedition because I didn´t want to worry you,” he said, coming closer to you. You tried avoiding his touch and eyes, but you couldn´t since he grabbed your face gently and obliged you to look at him. “Look at me please.”

“You´re going to war today,” you said, trying to hide your trembling voice but failing at it. “And you´re going to leave me here.”

“I knew you would want to come with me if I told you,” he said, his eyes desperately searching for yours. “That´s why I kept it from you, because you can´t come with me.”

“Why?” you said, finally looking at his eyes as a few hot tears rolled down your cheeks. You knew he hated seeing you cry, but you couldn´t help it, no when you felt as if you were going to lose him.

“Because I wouldn´t be able to stand it if something happens to you, I wouldn´t forgive myself,” he said through clenched teeth.

“But I know how to fight, how to defend myself!” you said, raising your voice a bit. “You´ve seen it yourself.”

“I know, I know Y/N,” he said with a small smile. “You´re strong and wise, but you shouldn´t go to war because of me.”

“Why not?” you asked.

“Because you don´t belong in a battlefield,” he kept caressing your cheeks. “You belong here, in this tent, with me. And that´s where you´ll be when I come back.”

“And what will happen if you don´t come back? If I don´t see you again?” you cried.

“That won´t happen, I´ll win and I´ll come back to you, where I belong too,” he said.

He went to hug you, but you refused, shaking your head no. “If you go and something bad happens to you I won´t be able to stand it either. Did you thought about that?”

“Nothing will happen to me, Y/N,” he said in a soft voice, trying to calm you but failing at it.

“How can you know that?” you asked.

“I don´t know it for sure!” he said, finally losing some of his patience and raising his voice. “I can´t know what will happen to me in the future, or to you, or to us!”

You flinched a bit at his harsh tone of voice. You saw the pained expression on his face as you backed away from him a bit. He sighed and followed you until he was mere inches from you, a calm expression over his features, washing away the pain and the annoyance.

“But what I know is that I feel like I am where I should be, that I finally found a place I can call home, and it´s by your side,” he said. Your eyes were teary from before, but hearing his words, you blinked and more tears rolled down your cheeks. “And I won´t renounce to that so easily, I´ll fight for it.”

You hiccupped, your tears being stopped from falling down to your chest by Taehyung´s fingers.

“I don´t want to lose you,”  you said in between strangled cries.

His smile was bitter when he heard your words. “You´re not going to lose me.”

“But if I had known it sooner maybe I could hav-” you began to say, a trembling mess of words and tears.

“Shhh,” he interrupted you seeing that your words would lead to nowhere.

In a quick movement, he hugged your body, not letting you escape from him one more time. His arms surrounded your neck and his chest pressed against yours, feeling the warmth that it radiated. You hid your face in the crook of his neck, letting your tears fall onto his shoulders. He kept caressing your hair in soft motions as he pulled you closer to him.

You didn´t want that embrace to end, you didn´t want that moment to end. When you were with him, the world outside that tent stopped and it was only you and him, the boy who searched every night for the Aurora Borealis, the boy whose eyes were made for looking at the Aurora Borealis, the boy who was the leader of the first clan of the wildlings, the boy whose eyes spoke more than his mouth. The boy you loved so deeply.

“Do you remember when I told you that not everything Esben said was bullshit?” he asked, eventually breaking the silence that filled the tent, your sobs and tears long gone.

You nodded, because you remembered it. It had been the day of the attack, the day you left the village and all the destroyed huts and dead people behind. It had been two months ago, but you could still feel every emotion you had felt that day.

“Well, I meant it, not everything Esben said was bullshit,” he repeated, making you lift your head from the crook of his neck and look him in the eye.

“What do you mean?” you said with a small frown in your face. You had thought about those words ever since then, and your mind had played with the idea of referring to how Esben said he was stupidly in love with you. But despite being together most of those two months, nor Taehyung or you had spoken about your feelings for each other.

Taehyung took a deep breath of air before saying those words that had been echoing through his mind ever since that night you both started at the sky together for the first time.

“I mean that, when he said that I´m stupidly in love with you, he was right,” he said, his eyes never leaving you as those words left his mouth.

You gulped loudly. You had dreamed about that moment for so long that you had to blink a couple of times to make sure it wasn´t a dream.

“Y-You… You love me?” you asked, your voice hesitant.

He smiled sincerely, that boxy smile you loved so much. “I do, I love you. I think it all started that day you saved Sigrid on that boat, on our way to the north.”

You smiled softly, biting the inside of your cheeks to prevent you from laughing like a mad girl.

“It was the surprise of finding out that you weren´t how I thought you would be, a delicate princess with her books and her pompous dresses,” he said, making you laugh.

“Pompous dresses?” you repeated, acting as if you were offended. “Are you calling my dresses pompous, ´Mr. I-Only-Wear-Real-Fur-Cloaks´?”

“Hey, there´s nothing wrong about my cloaks,” he protested. “Now you wear cloaks like mine too.”

“Only because I have no more ´pompous dresses´,” you said teasingly.

The devilish look on his eyes let you know that he planning to do something, but he was too quick and you couldn´t stop him as he began tickling your sides.

“No!” you laughed as you fell on your back laughing.

He climbed on top of you, his hands pinching at your sides and making you scream at him to stop. Then, he leaned in your ear, stopping his movements and breathing some air into your skin, making you shiver.

“I´m glad there are no more pompous dresses,” his voice was slow and sensual. “That way, I can feel you properly.”

You blushed at his words as you felt his body on top of yours. But your blushing didn´t last long, because a second later, he was tickling your sides once more and you were laughing like crazy again.

“Stop!” you screamed.

“Only if you tell me you love me,” he said with that silly laugh of his.

You tried to catch your breath in between his tickles.

“Ah! Okay, okay!” your words were interrupted by a sudden outburst of laugh as he found your sensitive spot for tickles. “I love you Tae, I love you, stop!” you kept screaming.

And finally he stopped tickling you, and with a playful smile he leaned in and as his lips found yours, the sun started to rise in the sky, its dim light illuminating the valley timidly.

In that moment, outside that tent, there was no winter to fight, no war to worry about. Because, for the both of you, all that mattered was inside that tent, where both of you belonged.

. . .

The thick clothes covered your body from the snow that was falling slowly, the first rays of sun illuminating the camp as the few people that remained in it were still sleeping. You could only hear the sounds of the birds waking up and your footsteps as your boots sunk in the layer of snow that was starting to accumulate on the ground.

Your bow and arrows were well hidden under your greyish fur cloak, your small - but sharp - axe held by the thick leather belt that encircled your waist. You had hidden the hem of your trousers inside your boots so you wouldn´t stumble with them. Your hair fixed in a high ponytail, covered by the hood of the cloak.

When you arrived to the end of the camp, you found the group of horses that were placidly eating there. You distinguished Grey amongst them.

In less than five minutes, you got him ready and mounted him. With determined movements of your feet, you spurred the horse on, already knowing where you were heading to.

Behind the main mountain that covered the valley from the outside was a meadow surrounded by other small mountains, but it wasn´t entirely a valley. A few days before, you had been playing with the kids next to the tent in which Taehyung held his meetings with Ygor and his men, when you heard them talk about an army of enemy wildlings approaching to the valley. The mountains were filled with rocks and cliffs that made them dangerous and risky, it was the only barrier between that army and you. They were searching for a way to go through the mountains, and in the meantime, they had set their camp in that meadow behind the mountain.

While they were there, thinking they would caught Taehyung and his men by surprise, they were going to be the ones who would be caught by surprise.

Ygor´s army had approached from the other side of the mountain, so the enemies wouldn´t see them. And while Ygor´s men awaited behind the mountains, Taehyung and his army, who knew the mountains and their surroundings by heart - would tend the ambuscade. It was risky, it was nearly impossible since there would be two armies against five, but it was the only option you had. Your main card was the factor of surprise, and you were going to play it.

You knew Taehyung didn´t want you to fight because he was scared that something could happen to you, but after all you had gone through, you knew you could fight and win, and you were going to do just so.

After Taehyung left, you ran towards the meeting tent and saw their maps, immediately understanding their plans. But before that, you had been lying there, looking at the ceiling of the tent and thinking about everything. If you stood there, in the camp and his plan didn´t work and he didn´t come back, you knew you would never be able to live with yourself, with the idea of never seeing him again. But if you went to the fight and his plan didn´t work either, you would die fighting by his side, like the warrior you were, like the woman you were. That, and the last words Taehyung had said to you that morning was all you needed to get dressed and ran from your tent.

As you approached the high point of the mountain, where Taehyung´s army was awaiting behind a  high row of rocks and trees, your mind travelled to the previous year. A day like that, you had arrived to the north, hating Taehyung and everything that came with him, wishing you could go back to Greyria. But now, as you ran on top of your horse, feeling your bow and your arrows hitting your back with every move, you couldn´t be more happier, even if in the end nothing turned out as planned.

Deep in your heart you had always known, since that very first moment you had placed a first foot on the deck, that you would never go back to Greyria.

The silence on top of the mountain was only broken by the wind hitting its rocks fiercely, the sun was now high up in the sky, its rays illuminating the sharp peaks of the mountains.

When Taehyung´s people saw a horse approaching, they immediately pointed their weapons towards you, but that didn´t stop you. You slowed your horse in the middle of the crowd and let it with the rest.

“Stop now!” you heard a voice say, but you continued walking.

You took of your hood just when Taehyung was walking towards the “stranger” with his axe on one hand pointing towards you.

“Y/N,” he said, his tone decipherable as he walked taking long strides towards you. He lowered his weapon and signalled everyone to do the same, which they immediately did as they recognised you.

“I´m going to fight Tae,” you said, confronting him. “Whether you like it or not, is my decision.”

“I told you not to,” he said through clenched teeth. Anger radiated from his eyes and every fibre of his body. He was dressed in greyish fur, just like you and the rest of the army, so you would go unnoticed in between the white snow and grey rocks.

“I know, but I want to,” you said, stubbornly. From the corner of your eye, you saw Sigrid approaching you both slowly. The rest of the people had gone back to their places.

“I shouldn´t have told you anything,” he said, pacing back and forth while brushing away the hair from his face.

You grabbed him by the shoulders and stopped him. “I´m good with the bow, really good. I know your plan and I can help you.”

“It´s true, she´s really good with the bow,” Sigrid´s voice said, as you both snapped your heads towards her. “I taught her myself.”

You sent her a grateful smile.

Taehyung clenched his teeth with force, looking at you in the eye.

“Do you trust me?” you asked suddenly, remembering how he told you he didn´t trust anyone.

It took him long to answer, which made you believe he was going to say no. But as his lips parted, he sighed and relaxed.

“Yes,” he simply said. One word, but it was all you needed to hear in that moment.

You sighed in relief and cupped his face with both of your hands.

“Then let me fight,” you said. “I won´t only fight for you, I´ll fight for Sigrid too, and for me, and for your people because now they are my people too.”

He looked intensely to your eyes, finally nodding with his head.

“Fine,” he said. “But please, be careful.”

“I will be,” you nodded.

What you didn´t expect was the boxy smile that appeared on his face after your words. “Who would have said that my wife would be one of the bravest woman I´ve ever known?”

His hands grabbed yours on top of his face and caressed them. Your smile grew wider.

“Everyone to their spots!” Taehyung shouted so everyone could hear him, looking at the crowd which immediately obeyed him. Then, he looked at you. “That includes you.”

You smiled and then pecked his lips quickly before disappearing with the people. “I love you,” you said.

“I love you,” he answered.

And you both went separate ways.

While you ran up the mountain with the rest of the archers, Taehyung mounted on his horse, his axe on his hand, his hood on. Underneath you, at the base of the mountain, a huge camp was set. The camp went on miles and miles away. Tents from all colours, men and women eating lunch, since it was already lunch time. The sun was high up in the sky, no clouds in the sky, signalling that the wind was fierce.

You looked at him as you kneeled on your spot, covered by a rectangular stone. He look just as fierce as the wind, his eyes sharper than ever, his plump lips sealed, his black orbs observing every move, everything.

You were on a high point of the mountain, not too high, not too low. Taehyung and the rest where some metres under you, situated just at the start of the small forest that encircled the ladder of the mountain. Where you were, there were no trees, since you were at the same level as the top of the trees,  just perfect to see without being seen.

“Bring the packages of hay!” Taehyung shouted from underneath you.

Men and women appeared dragging big, round packages of hay. They stopped by the edge of the mountain, a couple of metres underneath were you were. The packages of hay laced by cords, holding them in place.

Taehyung stood there, mounted on his horse, assuring every package of hay was where it should be. You observed they had painted red dots in the trees next to the places where each package of hay was. When everyone was ready, Taehyung stuck his thumb and his pointer finger in his mouth and waited. Two, three, four, five minutes… And then, he whistled loudly, the air sipping through his fingers and creating and strong sound.

The people who had been holding the packages of hay, let them fall down the ladder of the mountain. You observed them in silence as they fell, some avoiding the trees, others colliding with them and crashing its trunks, but never stopping in their way down.

When the packages were arriving to the end of the small forest, you observed the archers next to you charge their bows with strange arrows. And, as you looked at them, they sunk the tip of the arrow in bowls with a dense liquid and when they stuck them out, their tips were on fire.

“Three!” you heard the voice of Taehyung counting. “Two!”

You knew the man next to you, he was the father of one of the kids you sometimes played with. He tensed the cord of his bow, angry flames erupting from the tip of his arrow.

“NOW!” Taehyung´s voice was heard all over the mountain.

You observed the arrows go up in the air, avoiding the trees and going down just as they ended, hitting perfectly the packages of hay and igniting them. You observed as huge balls of fire rolled down the mountain, arrived to its base and then disappeared into the camp from all places. You saw the balls of fire coming from the mountain that was at your right and others from the one that was at your left, flanking the camp from all places. The fire lit the tents, the clothes of the people and everything it found, starting a loud chaos in the camp.

Another row of packages of hay was thrown down the mountain, and another row of fire arrows was shot directly at them. They followed the path the first ones had left, destroying everything that had been left.

As the fire set the alarm at the camp, the few men and women that hadn´t mounted on their horses, did so. You looked at Taehyung for an instant, finding that he was already looking up, his eyes on you. He had a stern look in his face, and yet, you felt your heart throb at the intensity his eyes held. He nodded his head once towards you, and you did the same towards him, before you saw him spurring on his horse and charging towards the camp.

You observed his back disappear in between the trees and wondered if you would ever see him again, if you would come back to your hump and see the stars together once more.

But you had no time to think any further, for you charged your bow just as you saw the people around you doing the same. You tensed the cord and waited for a sign.

The sign arrived some seconds later, the whistle of a man that was standing behind you, on one of the highest points of the mountain.

You let go of the arrow, shooting it up in the sky, taking advantage of the wind that was playing in your favour. Thousands of tiny arrows could be seen in the horizon, all pointing towards the camp. You lost sight of your arrow, but your eyes, that were focused on the people running through the camp, observed how their bodies started to fall limply on the floor.

“Second charge!” the voice of the man shouted again.

You grabbed another arrow, tensed your cord, breathed in, felt the air and, when the second whistle was heard, shot the arrow letting the air out. Just like Sigrid had taught you.

The whistle sounded again and again, your hands grabbed what seemed like a hundred arrows, you held your air in, felt the air around you and charged your bow again and again. Underneath you, chaos filled the camp, and amongst that chaos was the dead bodies of thousands of people, flames that were eating everything avidly, and other people who had begun grabbing weapons, preparing themselves for fighting back.

Just then, Taehyung and his people appeared in the meadow, mounted on their horses. Their axes cutting heads as if they were cutting grass. You couldn´t see everything with detail, but the screams and the distant sound of a horn let you know what was going on.

You lost sight of Taehyung the moment he entered in the destroyed camp, followed by his men.

The man who was in charge of signalling you when to shoot your arrows, signalled you to stop. The rest of Taehyung´s army had entered the camp, and none of you could shoot an arrow and be sure if it would hit an enemy or an ally.  

So, grabbing your three remaining arrows, you ran with the rest of the archers towards your horses. You reached Grey and quickly mounted him, immediately spurring him on and climbing down the ladder of the mountain. You carefully avoided the edges of the cliffs, the sharp rocks and the fallen trees and followed the paths that the packages of hay had left in their way down.

As you arrived with the rest of the archers to the camp, you started hearing the screams more vividly, more loudly and more clearly, causing your mind to travel back to the attack in Taehyung´s village. But it was in the past, and you had to fight for the future, so you shook your head, getting rid of the sounds of axes colliding against flesh and ripping heads out, and you drew your axe from your belt.

As you were about to avoid a tent that was in flames, you saw a big group of enemy wildlings starting to mount on their horses. You quickly though of a way to get rid of them all. Your eyes scanned their surroundings and happily found a barrel of what looked like beer.

With an arrow that you had taken from the man that was shooting the packages of hay, you charged your bow, slowing Grey down.

You closed one of your eyes, tightening the cord of your bow and holding your breath. They hadn´t seen you yet, and you knew you were lost if they saw you. You couldn´t fail, you had only one arrow with combustible and charcoal on its tip.

Hoping it would work and praying for the tip of the arrow to hit the wood of the barrel with enough force to pierce through it, you let the cord free and shot the arrow. With a low whistle it flew from your bow towards the barrel and hit the wood with a loud sound, disappearing inside it. A dark liquid started to drip from the hole the arrow had created.

A couple of seconds passed. The men stared at the river of dark beer, following the path it created, leading towards you. When his eyes found your surprised face, you began pulling from Grey´s reins. They began mounting on his horses quickly as you spurred Grey to run faster away from there. You heard a couple of screams and then the explosion.

Its wave reached you, shaking your hair and your cloak and making Grey run faster. You turned around a bit to see what was going on behind your back.

The barrel had exploded, its pieces of wood reaching the men and killing them almost immediately. Those who hadn´t been killed by the wooden sticks of the barrel had, been killed by the fire and only two men had made it out alive.

They were running after you, screaming and waving their weapons in the air, pointing at you.

You looked at the front again, and instead of escaping from the camp as they expected you to do, you went in deeper. You found some other allies in your way and they began running with you. You looked at each other, nodding understandingly.

Spurring Grey on once again you ran towards the centre of the camp, where all the action was happening. You recognized more people there. Some were still on their horses, others were lying on the ground, blood dripping from their mouths or from the deep cuts in their throats and other parts of their bodies. You searched for Taehyung, but he was nowhere in sight.

You saw a mass of people approaching you ridding on their horses. The scream that sounded familiar to the one of a bear, made you snap your head towards it, finding more enemy wildlings running after merely three wildlings you recognised from Taehyung´s clan. One of them was a mass of blonde hair and dark painting in the face. Sigrid.

When her eyes found yours, you were able to see a glint of fear in them, but other than that, she looked fierce and composed. You hoped you looked like that too.

“YAAH!” a woman shouted behind her, waving her axe in the air.

The rest of the people who were following her shouted back, axes and all sorts of weapons could be seen in their hands. A shiver ran down your spine when you looked behind you and saw an infinite mass of people and horses following you.

The group lead by Sigrid joined you and she nodded towards you, as if she was asking you if you were okay. In response, you nodded your head once and spurred your horse on harder, your gaze focused on the horizon in front of you.

You could hear the shouts of the other wildlings behind you, avid for death and thirsty for blood. You would be lying if you said you didn´t think you were going to die in that moment, if you said your heart didn´t beat any harder against your ribcage, pumping blood and fear through your veins.

You led the wildings outside the camp, away from the burning tents and the comfort of the meadow. Away from everything they knew and could control.

You didn´t know the area so well either, so you simply followed the rest and the plan.

The grass started becoming longer and more dense, the trees started disappearing and the shouts from the wildlings that were following you echoed through the mountains, louder than ever.

You heard something similar to a whistle. When you spun your head to look at the cause of that whistle, all you could see was Bjorn, one of Taehyung men, falling from his horse with an arrow in the middle of his neck. Blood spurted from his mouth as he let out a strangled cry, his back hitting the ground with a loud thud.

Unconsciously, you turned around on your horse so you could see where the arrow had came from. Due to this sudden movement, you were able to avoid the arrow that another wildling had sent towards you. A scream escaped from your lips as you saw other two wildlings dragging their bows and arrows from their backs.

“Sigrid!” you shouted, looking towards the front once again. You spurred harder on your horse, coming next to Sigrid. “We have to split in two!”

Sigrid looked behind her quickly, her eyes widening as she saw another arrow knocking down another men of yours.

“Lead them to the pass!” she shouted so you could hear her voice amongst the shouts and sounds of the footsteps of the horses. “I’ll circle the slope of the mountain to give you some time!”

With that, you continued running straight as Sigrid turned left. Some of the wildlings followed you, and some other followed Sigrid. You wished you had more arrows so you could just turn around and knock their archers down, but you had only two, and you were keeping them for later.

Kiara, a girl you had spoken to a couple of times, was leading your group, her vibrant red hair waving in the air as she galloped on top of her horse. She was younger than you were, and yet, there she was, fighting against thousands of wildlings and leading a group of them to their deaths.

As you ran, zigzagging to avoid the arrows that were flying past you, you observed how the  mountains came closer one to the other, signalling you that the pass was close. Your eyes were fixed on the horizon when a sharp pang of pain ran through your entire body.

It started in your left shoulder and later it spread through your entire body. Crying in pain, unconsciously, your hands let go of the reins. You felt yourself sliding off your horse, your head spinning and your eyes watering.

“Y/N!!!” a voice screaming out your name made you snap instantly and regaining control of your body once again, you straightened up on your horse and your hands grabbed firmly the reins.

You blinked a few times, trying to make the tears disappear from your eyes and clearing your vision. The pain was still there, but you ignored it as you turned your head to look at the person who had screamed your name.

The first thing you saw was a pair of black, sharp eyes looking at you, a worried expression in them. You sighed contently when you saw that Taehyung was safe and sound. His face was covered in blood splashes, and he had a thin cut on the bridge of his nose, but he was standing on his horse perfectly, his axe on his left hand.

He was running on his horse too, but he was on his own.

“Where are the rest?” you ask once you don’t see the men and women who had been with him.

A pained expression crossed his eyes and you understood immediately. If only Taehyung remained from his group of twenty people, how many men and women remained from the other groups?  You hoped that they were enough men and women left to fight against the wildlings in the pass, if not, you were finished.

“Are you okay?” he asks once he is riding his horse by your side.

You flinch when you feel the pain again, turning to see your cloak torn on your shoulder, blood emerging from the hole left in the fur. An arrow must have pierced through the side of your shoulder, but you could move your arm, so no muscle or nerve had been damaged.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you finally said, flinching once again.

Taehyung looked at you worriedly, but then nodded and spurred on his horse a bit harder.

“Sigrid?” he asks, looking back at you.

“She took the long way to the pass!” you rose your voice. “They started shooting us, so we had to split in two!”

He nodded once more before spurring on his horse one last time and coming up to the head of the group. You looked at his back, and closed your eyes briefly. Bringing up one of your hands to touch the wound, you felt the torn flesh and winced, clenching your teeth. The pain was almost unbearable, but you had to carry on. For Taehyung, for the rest of your clan.

“Don´t get away from me!” Taehyung told you. “Keep close!”

Finally, you saw the pass. It was wide, surrounded by the steep ladders of both mountains that enclosed the path. The grass was taller there, almost covering the legs of your horse completely.

The screams and sounds of steel impacting against skin could be hear all over the place, the sounds echoing through the rocks of the mountains and surrounding the place.

A large group of wildlings was fighting against a smaller group of Taehyung’s men and women. Even though they were less in number, they were holding on.

Without even thinking, you drew your axe from your belt, sliding someone´s throat with the cutting edge. Blood splashed all over you, but you continued waving your axe in the air, cutting throats and opening heads. Violence and death surrounded you. You hated violence and death, you always had, just like you hated the blood drying on your skin, the screams of your victims, the rush of adrenaline that filled your body when you knocked down someone. And yet, you didn´t stop as you killed people so you could reach the end of the pass, staying close to Taehyung, who was doing the same as you.

You closed your eyes when your axe collided against the body of a girl no older than you, fear reflected in her dark eyes as she saw your horse approaching. With the sound of your axe tearing up her delicate skin, you let out a strangled cry, remembering your mother’s words about war: “War not only kills the fallen, it kills the victors too. Maybe it doesn´t kill their bodies, but it kills their souls.”

And then, you remembered Sigrid words: “The north makes you tough and rude to survive.”

You didn´t want to become though and rude, but you wanted to survive. So you did what had to be done, you adapted to the north, to its coldness, to its ferocity, to its lifestyle.

As you drew your axe from the girl´s body - this falling limply onto the ground and getting lost in between the long wisps of grass - you opened your eyes. All around you people were dying, blood was splashing and staining the green grass, horses were running away from the place after seeing their masters die.

You recognised Sigrid in the group that had last arrived to the pass, she was fighting against a bigger man, but she was faster, and soon her knife was stuck on the man´s chest.

“Here they are,” Taehyung mumbled by your side.

You didn´t know what he was referring to. You paused for a moment. Grey neighed, uneasy. The ground underneath you started to tremble as you pulled from the reins to keep Grey steady. First you felt it, and then, you began hearing it. The sounds of screams, war cries. The sounds of footsteps of horses on the hard surface of the mountain. The clinking sound of weapons being waved in the air.  When you raised your face towards the mountains, you gasped as you saw the horde of men running towards the pass, their horses neighing angrily.

Ygor and his men.

The plan had worked, you could see it in Taehyung’s smile. There was a chance, after all, that you would win that war and finally live in peace.

The thought of a tranquil life with Taehyung, in some valley located by the shore of a beautiful lake, made you smile too. Scenes of you both contemplating the night sky, laughing as time passed and the soft features in your faces turned into beautiful wrinkles, growing old together and seeing your children grow up by your side, surrounded your mind. It wasn´t the best moment to think about your future with Taehyung, but, as he searched for your hand and grabbed it, drawing small circles over the palm of your hand in a loving manner, you couldn´t help but embrace that spark of hope that had started growing in your chest.

With a last squeeze of your hand, Taehyung let go of you and continued fighting.

The other wildlings had not expected the ambush, and they couldn´t escape from the pass since it was surrounded by Ygor´s men.

As you were triumphantly looking at the mountains, you felt your horse fall onto the grass, carrying you with him.

“Grey!” you shouted while your body was falling.

The impact against the floor made you let out a strangled cry as your wounded shoulder collided against the mud.

Quickly, you grabbed your axe from the ground and stopped the steel blade that had been charged against you.

The man who was holding the enormous weapon was double your size, tall and muscular. His clothes were different from the others, and his beard longer. He was one of the leaders of the Board.

“I finally have the pleasure of meeting you,” he said with a provoking smile.

From the corner of your eye, you could see your horse agonizing on the grass, a deep cut running through his stomach. You clenched your teeth, holding your axe in front of you.

“I heard you were pretty,” he scoffed, trying to provoke you once again with his smiles and his soft manners. “But words do no justice to your beauty.”

Angrily, you let out an animalistic growl as you charged your axe against his. Even though he hadn´t been expecting the attack, he stopped your axe with no effort.

“Woah,” he breathed, backing away. “They forgot to tell me about your fierceness.”

He began walking in circles around you, your eyes following his movements cautiously.

“I think they forgot to tell you about my disliking for disgusting men too,” you said through clenched teeth.

“I like fierce women,” he smiled.

“You won´t like me that much when I stick my axe in your head,” you answered, breathing heavily and trying to shut down the cries of your horse in your head.

The wildling let out a loud laugh, letting you see his yellowish teeth and his disgusting tongue as he wetted his lips with it.

“Taehyung is no man for a women like you,” he continued laughing. “Too much for him to handle. He can´t even handle his own clan, imagine him handling such a creature.”

The way he spoke about you as if you were an amulet, something you can buy and change, made you want to puke. You were trembling, the rage making you see red and your nerves making your mouth go dry. You wanted to kill him so badly, but you remembered what Sigrid taught you. Men don´t think, they just act, so they aren´t expecting you to do otherwise. You had to make him believe that he was in charge of the situation, and then, you´d attack.

“Can you?” you asked, teasing him. “Can you handle a woman like me?”

He smirked and your stomach churned again in disgust. From the corner of your eye you could see Taehyung fighting against two other men, too concentrated to noticed what was happening to you.  

“Of course I can,” he said, taking a step towards you. “I´ve handled worst.”

You tried not to cringe. “So you didn´t come to me, killed my horse, to kill me?”

“I did, but it´d be a waste to kill such a beautiful woman when she can be mine,” he approached you, lowering his axe as you lowered yours. He stopped when he was just mere inches for you, one of his hands coming up to caress one of your fallen strands of hair. “Maybe I can change my mind.”

He took off the axe from his hand and threw it onto the floor. Grey had stopped neighing  and breathing at all. The wildling took other two steps towards you. Your legs were trembling, and even if you told yourself it was because of the adrenaline, you knew it was because you were scared. You were afraid.

Maybe you had survived to the coldness of the north for a year, but you were still a girl, you were still Y/N. You were still unsure of yourself, and even if you had learnt how to fight and you were a good fighter, more than capable of defending yourself, you still felt weak. And, in that moment, under the ferocious gaze of a wildling that was almost two heads taller than you, his body hovering over yours, his breath hitting your skin - you felt small.

You remembered how you had been able of saving your own life back in the village, when that men had killed those kids and was trying to touch you. You remembered almost giving up as you drew the small knife you wore under your clothes, the wildling too distracted talking nonsense.

“… and I´ll bring you with me,” those were his last words, as you quickly lifted the sharp knife in the air and stuck it in his neck, just where his jugular vein.

He opened his eyes wide as you grabbed the other side of his neck to stick the knife even deeper with your right hand. He stumbled backwards, almost making you fall onto the floor, but you regained composure and held him tight.

“Do you really thought you could handle a woman like me?” you said through clenched teeth, letting go of the man´s neck and letting his body fall limply onto the floor.

Sticking your knife out of his neck and cleaning his blood on his clothes, you grabbed your axe from the ground and, after closing the eyes of your dead horse, you ran from there without even looking back.

You can´t remember how many people you killed after that, or in how many more situations did you have to struggle, but when you looked up to the sky, the sun was already setting, and suddenly, an orange light was bathing the pass. Blood tinted the grass, fallen bodies reflecting under the light of the dying Sun.

Eventually, the few men and women that were left, surrendered, their leaders dead.

And just when the sun disappeared in between the mountains, when the sounds of steel and flesh stopped echoing through the rocks of the mountains, in that moment, you won the war. In that moment, Taehyung, his people, Sigrid, you - won your freedom.

As soon as you spotted him in the distance, you threw your blood stained weapons to the floor and started running towards him.

When both of your bodies clashed, he embraced you tightly with his arms, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. Your body was trembling, and if it weren´t for Taehyung´s strong grip, you´d have been lying on the floor. You let go of everything, because everything had ended. You´d be finally free to be with Taehyung without worrying about being attacked at night or having your throats cut in your sleep.

He lifted his head and grabbed both of your cheeks with his blood-covered hands. Despite the coldness of the liquid, you didn´t flinch, because you eyes were on Taehyung´s and his eyes were on you. You had never felt more completed in your life.

In that moment, as he passionately leaned in and closed the space between you both, his lips finding yours eagerly, you realised you had found it - you had found happiness. It wasn´t like you hadn´t imagined when you were little - or even when you were just a year younger. The man who was kissing you wasn´t some Prince dressed in blue, expensive clothes. His white horse wasn´t waiting for him, nor a huge kingdom with a huge castle made of gold and marble. He was Taehyung, the most beautiful man you had ever seen, even with his fur cloak torn from everywhere, his hair dirty and sticky, his face covered in blood just like his hands. He had no white horse, no luxurious castle. And yet, it was all you needed to finally feel happy.

. . .

Taehyung ordered to pick up the bodies of his deceased people.

The task was made in sorrowful and dense silence as the sun set behind the mountains.

Some graves were caved in the border of the pass, since it was impossible to carry all those bodies to the camp with you. That pass wasn´t their home, that pass wasn´t the place where those bodies belonged to, but they had died fighting for their people there, and that would be the place that would guard them. The following generations would know what had happened in that pass, they would know that their parents, mothers, grandparents, had died in there fighting for them. They would come to that pass to mourn their bodies and send offerings to their Gods to guard their resting souls.

Their families weren´t there when you and the rest of the survivors buried their now cold bodies, but they had a proper funeral, with the Moon watching them in the night sky, and the comforting weight of the soil above them embracing their bodies.

On the way home, the silence felt even heavier.

You all were tired from the fight, not having eaten or drunk anything since that morning. You wanted nothing more than to take a hot bath and sleep for days, but none of you wanted to camp in that same pass where you had lost most of your people, leave alone eat and sleep, so you mounted your horses and returned to the camp.

It was much more different than the way to the pass and the camp of the enemy wildlings. While you had been feeling strong, now you felt weak, drained, despite that spark of happiness that shone brightly in your chest as you rode in Taehyung´s horse, him mounting behind you with his hands encircling your waist.

You had stayed behind for a while, simply observing the scenery. Taehyung had told you that he would return to that place, but you doubted that, since you could see the pain in his face. The pain of losing so many people he loved.

You saw his face appearing in your peripheral view.

“What are you thinking about?” he said, lifting one of his hands up to take some strands of hair off of your face.

You shrugged a bit. “About anything… About everything, I don´t know,” you said.

You could feel his smile as he pushed your body softly to rest on his, your back pressed against the warmth of his chest.

“I can´t stop thinking either,” he murmured, his voice sounding a bit distant.

You were the one who searched for his face then, turning your head a bit. His brows where furrowed and his face looked paler than ever bathed in the cold moonlight.

“About what?” you softly asked.

“About how selfish I am feeling happy when I should be crying because all those people died fighting for me.”

“You think they died fighting only for you?” you turned your whole body around so you could face him better, not caring about the uncomfortable position or the pain in your shoulder. “They fought for you that’s right, but not only because you were their leader and they followed your orders, it was because they believed in you, they believed that you wanted the best for them and their families. So they fought for you, for their families and for themselves.”

He cupped your face with both of his hands.

“But that doesn´t give me the right to feel so alive right now,” he said, his eyes searching for yours under the dim light that bathed the trees and the small clears of the small forest you were crossing. “I´m about to start a whole new life and spend it all with you, but it doesn´t feel right in this moment.”

You nodded understandingly. “We don´t have to rush anything Tae,” your voice was soft, never failing to calm him. “We can take one step at a time, and when time passes and it´s all settled and back to normal again, we can start that new life together.”

A spark filled his dark eyes. “I never thought I would feel like this again after the death of my grandmother,” he whispered, his thumbs drawing patterns on your skin. “And look at me now, feeling like a seventeen year old boy who still dreams about stars and-”

He never got to finish that sentence.

You had been so caught in each other´s eyes, in each other´s touch, that you hadn´t felt the uneasiness of your horse, or the subtle and quiet steps that had been following you for a while.

A shriek of what sounded like Taehyung´s name, escaped from your lips as you watched him - confusedly - falling from his horse, a golden knife stuck on his left side.

The horse neighed frantically, standing on his back legs and causing you to follow Taehyung on your way down to the ground, screaming again when a rush of pain shot through your body as your arm collided against the ground for the second time that day. Even though your body begged you for mercy, for rest, you forced yourself to stand up .

You unconsciously grabbed your bow and the two remaining arrows and looked towards the place where the knife had came from.

As Taehyung moaned and cried on the floor - a pool of dark crimson liquid already forming on the floor next to him as he pressured the place where the knife had been - your eyes widened and your heart stopped when you recognised the person who had thrown the knife.

A very dishevelled Esben was standing at the end of the clear, supporting himself on the trunk of a big pine. Blood was spilling from his mouth as he directed a devilish smile towards you. His other hand, the one that had thrown the knife, was hidden behind his back. His clothes were filled with blood from all the wounds that covered his body and his face was paler than the moonlight.

“I told you, you would die because of your stupid decision, and the rest of your people would die with you,” he muttered.

Taehyung´s eyes were widened too, the expression on his face being a mixture between surprise and bewilderment.

“E…Esben,” he coughed, blood spilling from Taehyung´s mouth.

“Taehyung,” the other man said, taking some steps towards him.

“Don’t move!” you screamed, charging your bow and pointing the arrow directly towards his heart.

Esben stopped walking, but his left hand never left his back.

“Are you going to kill me now?” Esben said, looking at Taehyung. “Or are you going to let your hoe do the dirty job for you?”

Taehyung gritted his teeth, but only let out a strangled moan when he tried to stand up. You took a step towards him, your hands trembling, and your bow and arrow trembling with them.

You observed the battle between Taehyung and Esben, their eyes never leaving the other´s.

“No, you´re not,” Esben shook his head. “You were always too fragile for this world, too… Innocent. Always believing in honour and kindness. You tried so hard to be tough and strong, but I always knew you were just a kid dressed like an adult. And you know, what happens to a kid when it plays with adult´s things.”

Taehyung remained on the floor, clutching tightly to his side and hoisting his body with his other arm.

You tried calming your breathing so your hands wouldn´t shake anymore, but you were too shocked about the whole situation to do anything, your mind still processing Esben´s words. In Taehyung there had never been any malice, any corruption, there had only been a pure soul full of energy and kindness. That pure soul was forced to his depths when his grandmother died and he found himself alone in this world, being replaced by a fake facade that he had shown you when you met, made to protect himself.

“Not even after my words are you able to stand up and fight me like a man,” Esben´s voice was filled with venom. “Maybe this will help.”

The devilish smile of Esben let you know that he was about to do something. As he drew his hand from his back, you were able to see the metallic shine of another golden knife.

He lifted his arm and, with a loud grunt, he threw the knife towards you.

It all happened too fast.

The knife flying towards your body. Esben´s smile growing wider as the sharp weapon approached you. Taehyung standing up in a quick movement. A loud “no” escaping from your lips. The sound of steel impact against flesh. A loud “thud” of a body falling onto the ground. Your hand tensing the cord of your bow and quickly shooting the arrow towards the man that was still standing at the end of the clear. The man stumbling backwards as the arrow hit his heart directly while you charged your bow once again and shot your last arrow towards him. His body finally making contact with the floor, his last breath escaping from his lips just like his last words, which you weren´t able to hear.

Throwing your bow to the side, you ran towards Taehyung´s body. Your kneels collided harshly against the ground and the pain in your shoulder was nothing compared to the pain you were feeling inside.

“Taehyung!” you screamed as you grabbed the man´s body and placed it on your lap.

His eyes were looking at his hands, which were fumbling to try and stick the knife out of his chest.

“Stop,” you said. “Don´t.”

You grabbed his hands so he would stop trying to draw the knife out of his flesh. You closed your eyes, letting some tears fall from your cheeks.

“I… I have to…” he mumbled.

“No, Tae,” you breathed. You both knew what would happen if he drew the knife from his chest, what would happen if he didn´t. “It’ll only get worse.”

You opened your eyes to see the crying man in your lap, and your heart broke, the pieces reaching everywhere inside you and making you gasp for air. His eyes were glossy, but they were beautiful than ever.

From his mouth, a small river of blood was dripping down, reaching his chin and neck. Your hands slowly moved away his hair from his forehead.

“I should have killed him,” the man you loved cried while his heart was fighting to keep pushing the remnants of his blood through his veins. “I should have been brave enough, strong enough to kill him when I had to.”

You shook your head, whipping his tears away.

“No, you shouldn´t. He was like a brother to you, you trusted him.”

“But he deserved to die, he betrayed me and my people. If someone betrays his, her people… H-he or she must be killed immediately,” he said, the words sounding almost robotic, as if they had been caved in his mind from replay.

“He deserved to die, it was his punishment, but it was not your punishment to kill him,” you caressed his cheek softly.

“If I had killed him… I… I wouldn´t b-be dying right now,” he said, it was becoming harder and harder to speak as he felt his throat drying and his eyelids heavy.

You let out a strangled sob, more tears rolling down your cheeks. Shaking your head, you softly deposited his body on the ground, the grass disappearing under his form. You careful not to hurt him, laid down on the grass, your head resting on the other side of his chest, just like you had been that morning in your tent.

“If you had killed him, you would have died long ago,” you breathed. “Not in a physical way.”

He started caressing your hair, mumbling loving words as his breathing became more erratic. You could hear the raspy sound of air fighting to fill his lungs, his heart beating desperately. You both stayed there, quietly waiting for the inevitable. You closed your eyes, tears still falling down despite them being closed, that way, you could still pretend you were in that tent, that he was going to kiss you, make love to you and stay with you forever.

Suddenly, a particular deep breath escaped Taehyung´s lips. Afraid it was the end, you opened your eyes and hoisted yourself up so you could look at his face.

The green light that bathed his beautiful features left you as breathless as he was. Green, purple, and yellowish lights covered his eyes as a blissful expression covered his entire face. His body stopped trembling and his limbs relaxed.

You looked up to the sky, blinking away the tears so you could see the beauty of the scenery above you clearly. The dark night sky, filled with small dots of light and the big full Moon, was broken by swirling rays of green light, then purple, the yellow and then green again. The waves of light danced as if they were fire, as if they were water.

Taehyung had been right, there were no words to describe it and only one came to your mind: magic.

It had to be, for you had never seen something like that, so pure and vibrant at the same time. So free and alive. You remembered Ragnar´s story and his love for Moonstone.

You were snapped from your thought´s by the small pull you felt from your necklace.

You looked down and found Taehyung silently looking at the moonstone hanging from your neck. The crystal that was usually transparent was now vibrating with greens and purples, reflections of the sky and the Aurora Borealis on its surface.

Despite the huge pain Taehyung was feeling, it all felt right to him in that moment. It felt right to die and leave the world. He had the woman he loved by his side, the stars and the Moon above him, and just next to those stars and Moon, there was the one thing he had been searching for all his life: the Aurora Borealis.

He opened his beautiful lips as if he was going to say something, but then his hand fell from your cheek, leaving the skin there feeling cold and empty. You grabbed his hand and placed it over your cheek again, holding it in place, you didn´t need any words.

His eyes looking at you like that, love spilling from them just like the light of the Aurora Borealis´ light was spilling around the Moon, was all you needed. All you ever needed and all you´d ever need.

In that moment, you understood it all. Taehyung wasn´t going to survive to the north, because he hadn´t become though, nor rude, because he never was.

No tears fell from your eyes as you saw him looking at you for the last time.

No cries fell from your lips as his eyes closed before looking at his Aurora Borealis for the last time.

No expressions clouded your face as he exhaled his last breath, something that sounded like an “I love you”.

No warmth could be felt in your body when Kim Taehyung left this world, his north, and finally reached his beloved stars.

In that moment, you thought about the naive and fragile girl who left her kingdom, Greyria, to be married to a rude wildling. You smiled sadly as you thought about that gilr becoming the strong woman you are now, that rude widling, becoming the incredible man whom your heart would belong to for the rest of your days.  

You didn´t shed any more tears, you didn´t cry, you didn´t flinch, you didn´t scream in pain, you didn´t feel warmth. You simply kissed his jawline before lying your head on his chest again, but this time, it felt cold and there was no sound of his heart beating or his lungs welcoming the air that entered them with every breath he took . Your eyes wandered over the sky, your face illuminated by the light of the new star that had appeared on the black canvas above you, right next to the Great Bear, forever being able to contemplate its beloved Aurora Borealis.

“Happy twenty-third birthday my love.”

. . .

Cold.

It was all that could be felt that winter in the north.

Cold.

It was all that could be felt in the north after Taehyung´s death.

Cold.

It was all you felt in your skin, and bones, and entire body after the loss of your lover.

But the north makes you though and rude to survive, and you were no exception, for you became though and rude, and you survived.

Soon, coldness became a part of you, your most powerful weapon, your most reliable ally, your safest shield. Soon, coldness became you, and you became cold.

The north finally found its peace, its people becoming free, becoming one. There were no more fights, no more enmities. The north finally became a place where people could live happily and peacefully. The north finally became the place men like the ancient Ragnar and the young Kim Taehyung, had fought to build.

And just like the rest of the north, you became free too. As free as the stars you contemplated every single night, as free as the wind that made you shiver and hold your fur cloak tighter to your body. As free as the waves of green light that crossed the night sky every twenty three years.

Cold and free, you searched the northern lights every twenty three years, your eyes wandering over its green waves of light as if it was the first time, your heart  forever remembering the boy whose eyes had been made to contemplate the Aurora Borealis.

[gordonwilliamsweb]

Black Women Find Healing (But Sometimes Racism, Too) in the Outdoors

It would be the last hike of the season, Jessica Newton had excitedly posted on her social media platforms. With mild weather forecast and Colorado’s breathtaking fall foliage as a backdrop, she was convinced an excursion at Beaver Ranch Park would be the quintessential way to close out months of warm-weather hikes with her “sister friends.”

This story also ran on NPR. It can be republished for free.

Still, when that Sunday morning in 2018 arrived, she was shocked when her usual crew of about 15 had mushroomed into about 70 Black women. There’s a first time for everything, she thought as they broke into smaller groups and headed toward the nature trail. What a sight they were, she recalled, as the women — in sneakers and hiking boots, a virtual sea of colorful headwraps, flowy braids and dreadlocks, poufy twists and long, flowy locks — trekked peacefully across the craggy terrain in the crisp mountain air.

It. Was. Perfect. Exactly what Newton had envisioned when in 2017 she founded Black Girls Hike to connect with other Black women who share her affinity for outdoor activities. She also wanted to recruit others who had yet to experience the serenity of nature, a pastime she fell for as a child attending an affluent, predominately white private school.

But their peaceful exploration of nature and casual chatter — about everything from food and family to hair care and child care — was abruptly interrupted, she said, by the ugly face of racism.

“We had the sheriff called on us, park rangers called on us,” recalled Newton, now 37, who owns a construction industry project development firm in Denver.

“This lady who was horseback riding was upset that we were hiking on her trail. She said that we’d spooked her horse,” she said of a woman in a group of white horseback riders they encountered. “It just didn’t make any sense. I felt like, it’s a horse and you have an entire mountain that you can trot through, run through, gallop through or whatever. She was just upset that we were in her space.”

Eventually, two Jefferson County sheriff’s deputies, with guns on their hips, approached, asking, “What’s going on here?” They had been contacted by rangers who’d received complaints about a large group of Black women being followed by camera drones in the park; the drones belonged to a national television news crew shooting a feature on the group. (The segment aired weeks later, but footage of the confrontation wasn’t included.)

“‘Move that mob!’” attendee Portia Prescott recalled one of the horseback riders barking.

“Why is it that a group of Black women hiking on a trail on a Sunday afternoon in Colorado is considered a ‘mob?’” Prescott asked.

A man soon arrived who identified himself as the husband of one of the white women on horseback and the manager of the park, according to the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office incident report, and began arguing with the television producers in what one deputy described in the report as a “hostile” manner.

The leader of the horseback tour told the deputies that noise from the large group and the drones startled the horses and that when she complained to the news crew, they told her to deal with it herself, the report said. The news crew told deputies that the group members felt insulted by the horseback riders use of the term “mob.” The woman leading the horseback riders, identified in the incident report as Marie Elliott, said that she did not remember calling the group a mob, but she told the officers she “would have said the same thing if the group had been a large group of Girl Scouts.”

In the end, Newton and her fellow hikers were warned for failing to secure a permit for the group. Newton said she regrets putting members in a distressing — and potentially life-threatening — situation by unknowingly breaking a park rule. However, she suspects that a similarly sized hiking group of white women would not have been confronted so aggressively.

“You should be excited that we are bringing more people to use your parks,” added Newton. “Instead, we got slammed with [threats of] violations and ‘Who are you?’ and ‘Please, get your people and get out of here.’ It’s just crazy.”

Mike Taplin, spokesperson for the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office, confirmed that no citations were issued. The deputies “positively engaged with everyone, with the goal of preserving the peace,” he said.

Newton said the “frustrating” incident has reminded her why her group, which she has revamped and renamed Vibe Tribe Adventures, is so needed in the white-dominated outdoor enthusiasts’ arena.

With the tagline “Find your tribe,” the group aims to create a sisterhood for Black women “on the trails, on waterways and in our local communities across the globe.” Last summer, she secured nonprofit status and expanded Vibe Tribe’s focus, adding snowshoeing, fly-fishing, zip lining and kayaking to its roster. Today, the Denver-based group has 11 chapters across the U.S. (even Guam) and Canada, with about 2,100 members.

Research suggests her work is needed. The most recent National Park Service survey found that 6% of visitors are Black, compared with 77% white. Newton said that must change — especially given the opportunities parks provide and the health challenges that disproportionately plague Black women. Research shows they experience higher rates of chronic preventable health conditions, including diabetes, hypertension and cardiovascular disease. A 2020 study found that racial discrimination also may increase stress, lead to health problems and reduce cognitive functioning in Black women. Newton said it underscores the need for stress-relieving activities.

“It’s been studied at several colleges that if you are outdoors for at least five minutes, it literally brings your stress level down significantly,” said Newton. “Being around nature, it’s like grounding yourself. That is vital.”

Newton said participation in the group generally tapers off in winter. She is hopeful, though, that cabin fever from the pandemic will inspire more Black women to try winter activities.

Atlanta member Stormy Bradley, 49, said the group has added value to her life. “I am a happier and healthier person because I get to do what I love,” said the sixth grade teacher. “The most surprising thing is the sisterhood we experience on and off the trails.”

Patricia Cameron, a Black woman living in Colorado Springs, drew headlines this summer when she hiked 486 miles — from Denver to Durango — and blogged about her experience to draw attention to diversity in the outdoors. She founded the Colorado nonprofit Blackpackers in 2019.

“One thing I caught people saying a lot of is ‘Well, nature is free’ and ‘Nature isn’t racist’ — and there’s two things wrong with that,” said Cameron, a 37-year-old single mother of a preteen.

“Nature and outside can be free, yes, but what about transportation? How do you get to certain outdoor environments? Do you have the gear to enjoy the outdoors, especially in Colorado, where we’re very gear-conscious and very label-conscious?” she asked. “Nature isn’t going to call me the N-word, but the people outside might.”

Cameron applauds Newton’s efforts and those of other groups nationwide, like Nature Gurlz, Outdoor Afro, Diversify Outdoors, Black Outdoors, Soul Trak Outdoors, Melanin Base Camp and Black Girls Run, that have a similar mission. Cameron said it also was encouraging that the Outdoor Industry Association, a trade group, pledged in the wake of the racial unrest sparked by George Floyd’s death to help address a “long history of systemic racism and injustice” in the outdoors.

Efforts to draw more Black people, especially women, outdoors, Cameron said, must include addressing barriers, like cost. For example, Blackpackers provides a “gear locker” to help members use pricey outdoor gear free or at discounted rates. She has also partnered with businesses and organizations that subsidize and sponsor outdoor excursions. During the pandemic, Vibe Tribe has waived all membership fees through this month.

Cameron said she dreams of a day when Black people are free from the pressures of carrying the nation’s racial baggage when participating in outdoor activities.

Vibe Tribe member and longtime outdoor enthusiast Jan Garduno, 52, of Aurora, Colorado, agreed that fear and safety are pressing concerns. For example, leading up to the presidential election she changed out of her “Let My People Vote” T-shirt before heading out on a solo walk for fear of how other hikers might react.

Groups like Vibe Tribe, she said, provide camaraderie and an increased sense of safety. And another plus? The health benefits can also be transformative.

“I’ve been able to lose about 40 pounds and I’ve kept it off,” explained Garduno.

Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

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