#i want to try to start increasing my activity a little

[hannieehaee]

TOO MUCH

18+ / mdi

summary: after a few weeks of constant overtime work slouching over a desk, you feel as if your back is about to give out on you. fortunately for you, your best friend seungcheol is a professional masseuse! unfortunately for you, you're unsure of how you'll keep your crush on your best friend at bay while on his massage bed, ass up and oiled up.

content: masseuse!seungcheol, friends to lovers, pining (act surprised), touch-starved reader, inexperienced reader, very uninformed view of what being a masseuse is like oops, afab reader, smut, fingering, oil is involved, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 7.9k

a/n: as someone who's had horrible back pain ever since i was a child, this is based on mostly real events </3 also not 100% proofread

masterlist

support me through a one-time tip! <3

Your back was killing you.

It had been weeks since you'd gotten some proper rest, having made the terrible decision to take on some overtime at work, not knowing that your supervisor would get so used to the extra help she would continue to schedule you more hours week after week, thus destroying your back in the process. You knew that you could simply say no, but the extra money was helpful. You had wanted to start saving up a little more so you could finally move out of your shitty neighborhood, so the situation kind of worked out. The money would also go to paying your student loans, meaning you really couldn't miss this chance for an increase in income. It was kind of a win-win situation, except your poor back was the sole loser.

Your job didn't involve too much movement, no. It was mostly office work, which required you to sit on your hunched back for 10 hours per day, only allotting yourself for three quick 15-minute breaks and a 30 lunch break in which you would still be hunched over as you ate. You knew it was a bad habit, but sitting there for so many hours, you'd forget to sit up straight as you looked into the computer screen, and even if you fixed your posture while working, your back was just not built for standing still for such long periods of time. There was really no saving your back from its stiff fate at this point. These work hours also didn't allow you time to even work out or stretch in order to keep your body at least a little active and maybe prevent your pain a tiny bit.

Your best friend Seungcheol constantly scolded you over your bad posture. It wasn't like you actually had bad posture, okay? You weren't constantly hunched over, nor were you carrying all your weight on your shoulders. This was a recent development resulting directly from your increased work hours. But Seungcheol, being a masseuse, always noticed the slightest changes in your physique, claiming he could spot a sore back from a mile away, with yours being a very obvious case. He could notice your head standing a little lower, digging into your shoulders more and more as the days went by. He also took notice of your constant wincing and your futile attempts at rubbing your own shoulders whenever the soreness got too annoying.

He pitied you, really. He hated seeing you in pain. Being your best friend, he felt it as his duty to try and relieve it in any way he could. On top of having most of your free time being taken over by work, he hated to think that you were also in pain during the few hours you spent away from the office. He had communicated all these concerns to you over the past few weeks, trying to convince you to let him give you a massage in order to relieve the pain, but you'd consistently refused. He was unsure as to why, and being denied a proper reason made him want to keep on insisting until you finally allowed him to rid you of your discomfort.

"One massage won't fix my issues," you'd argued over and over again. To which he simply responded by saying he could just give you a standing appointment every week! He was very insistent on helping you, wanting to relieve you of at least some of the pain. But you were even more insistent in denying him. You were too busy to use up the little bit of free time you had going to the spa Seungcheol worked at. You also didn't think a massage would really be the ultimate solution, despite how badly your sore shoulders begged for relief. Yeah, sure, a massage might alleviate the pain for a bit, but it would simply come back after another week at the office. That, and the fact that the spa Seungcheol worked at was only open during your work hours, meaning you'd have to either haul ass over there during your thirty minute lunch, or take time off. Both were huge no's to you. There were just far too many reasons as to why not take him up on his offer, you argued both to him and yourself. But you knew these were simply excuses. Your main reason had been something you'd kept deep within yourself. You were starving for his touch, but scared of how your body would react to it.

You were generally an averagely touchy person with friends and family. Not overly touchy, but arguably an appropriate amount. It had only been a little over a year or so since you'd begun to feel a bit strange at the lack of intimate touch you'd experienced thus far in your life. While all your friends had experimented and had fun during college, you were a little shier and more reserved, rendering you a bit behind the rest of the herd in that area. It wasn't very noticeable to all. It wasn't like your friends were aware about how sexually frustrated you'd grown over the years due to your lack of experience, but you'd still tried to keep it a secret how unaccustomed you were to more intimate forms of physical touch. Even something as innocent as a massage from a friend. You'd be as touchy as any friend would expect, but still felt a slightly strange sensation when it came to any mention of more intimate activities. You'd somehow grown used to a lack of touch, despite being best friends with the touchiest person alive. You usually avoided being too physically affectionate with Seuncheol anyways, having harbored a small crush on him when you'd first met and wanting to avoid any of your emotions getting in the way of a friendship you treasured so much. You'd known that a massage from the man would be a huge nono, all things considered, which was where all your denials stemmed from.

You had been friends with Seungcheol since college. You had both shared a major, meaning that you kept bumping into each other day after day, attending almost all the same classes freshman year. You had taken a quick liking to each other, befriending one another almost immediately. Despite having had a crush on the man at first sight, you were content with the friendship that had blossomed instead. You'd even ended up joining Seungcheol's little friend group, being friends with most of them even to this day. This unexpected closeness during your first year led you to coordinate your schedules the following three years, thus seeing each other literally every day you were on campus. Even now, having recently graduated college, you were still best friends, meeting up constantly. Despite sharing a major, you both had ended up in drastically different places after college. You had gone for the corporate route while Seungcheol suddenly developed a passion for physical therapy, eventually becoming a massage therapist. At the time, however, he worked at a luxury spa downtown, being known as one of their best masseuses and singlehandedly earning the establishment an increase from a four-star rating to five stars just from the quality of his work alone.

You had visited Seungcheol's work before, quickly deciding it just wasn't your vibe. The place was nice and perfectly polished, but upon seeing a few of the masseuses' skills in action, you realized it'd be better for your friendship if you avoided such intimate contact with one another. Yes, you knew massages were not inherently intimate, but being oiled up and felt up by someone who was as close to you as Seungcheol just didn't ring like a good idea to you. It also didn't help that the massive crush you had on the man in college seemed to be resurfacing as of late. You believed to have gotten over it a few months into senior year, but you didn't want to risk reviving it under any circumstances.

However, despite your constant rejections, Seungcheol continued to beg you to let him take care of your problem, and denying him was something that pained both you and your back. So you now found yourself with two issues; back pain, and a very pouty Seungcheol.

"Fuck, my back is killing me," you repeated for the millionth time in the past five hours since you had woken up. You had intended to enjoy your rare day off, even waking up a little earlier than intended so you could make plans with your roommates, but your plans quickly died on you as soon as you woke up, body stiff as a rock and your soreness worse than ever.

"We get it! You're in pain. So go do something about it!", whined your friend Seungkwan in return, not even bothering to look at you from his phone, "It's bad enough I had to cancel my plans to stay here and take care of you. Just go get oiled up by Cheol and stop making this my problem!"

If there was anything Seungkwan was, it was direct. He was right. Your pain was getting out of hand. And the longer you waited, the worse it would get. Except he didn't know about your calamity to its full extent.

"Listen, I don't even have the money to afford his fancy spa. Have you been there? One day is worth a whole day's pay!"

"Please. It's Seungcheol. He'll get you in for free. Hell, he'll even pay you to go."

"I don't have time to go!", another excuse. A few more and Seungkwan might even begin to crack the code behind your insistent refusal.

He suddenly straightened up from his laid-back position, staring directly in your direction, "All the solutions are there. You're the problem. It's like you want to be in pain! I could literally call him up right now and he'd drop work to come help you. Just get the damn massage!"

This is how a lot of your conversations went lately. Well, the very few conversations you could have nowadays due to your heavy workload. You'd occasionally even have to bring work home even after having been there for half the day. Your eight hours of sleep a night were not even pleasurable anymore, as you felt stiff as a rock the moment you attempted to lay down. The only comfortable stance, ironically, was hunched over in front of a computer. It was like you'd frozen into that pose, feeling immeasurable pain any time you attempted to move any other way. You'd tried pilates, stretches, yoga. Nothing worked. Maybe Cheol's massage really was the only solution, but it'd been so long since you began denying him you now felt a little silly going back on your word. That, and your other obvious issues.

"I'll be fine, Kwan! Just leave. You don't have to take care of me, I just need to lay for a bit."

"You'll lay there all day, I know you. Your life's become a constant state of sleep and work. Maybe you should just quit," he suggested, seemingly moving on from the Cheol topic. Finally.

"Are you crazy? Do you have any idea how much debt I have to pay off? I don't wanna be paying this off for the rest of my life. I'd rather suffer for a few years now and just get it out of the way," you reasoned, although not sounding very reasonable even to yourself. What's the rush?, a voice in the back of your head would sometimes whisper, but you'd just ignore it.

"Fine," he tsk'd. "Rot in your own misery, I'm going out with Kyeom and Soonie. If I come back and you've morphed into a rock, don't say I didn't warn you," and with that, he announced his departure, going forward with the plans you had made with your friends before your back had gotten in the way.

You knew your friend was kidding, but the unbearable pain would sometimes have you wonder. Should you just go to Cheol? What was the worst that could happen of you just let him touch you? His touch would be purely platonic, you were sure of that. But you feared that it would rekindle your feelings even more, and maybe that your high-strung self would not be able to handle such touch from him without finally snapping.

You were weak. This wasn't much of a secret among your friend group, or anyone really. Which is why you now found yourself walking through the doors of Seungcheol's spa. You had spent about an hour rotting in your own misery, as Seungkwan had put it, before deciding to power through your pain and drive down to where you knew Seungcheol was currently working a shift. You hadn't called him, not wanting to give him the wrong impression. You weren't planning on booking a massage today, no. You couldn't have even if you wanted, knowing that the spa Seungcheol worked at was a bit renown in town and that their bookings went weeks back. You had just wanted to give it another try. Maybe visual learning would convince your stubborn self to accept Cheol's help for once.

You entered the establishment, already knowing exactly where to go to find out about Seungcheol's whereabouts. You walked to the receptionist, opening your mouth to ask for assistance before being rudely interrupted.

"Sorry. We're booked for the day. Our next open bookings begin in December. Try again then," the conversation had ended before it began, causing you to close your mouth right back up.

Once more, you opened your mouth to speak, maybe respond in equally passive aggressive tone as the girl had, but you were rudely interrupted once again, except this time it was by a warmer, more welcoming voice.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?", you could not see him from your angle, needing to turn around to face the source of the sound, but you could instantly hear the smile in his voice, clearly both happy and shocked to find you here of all people.

You turned around, now facing the boy. He was wearing his usual 'uniform', which really just consisted of some tight black slacks and a matching black short-sleeve top tucked into his pants. You'd forgotten how well his uniform fit him. It must've been one of the reasons why his massages were rated so high, you thought.

"Hey, Cheol ..." you smiled awkwardly, having been caught off guard by the man. You'd meant to surprise him, not the other way around.

"I wasn't expecting you. Did you call? Did you make an appointment?!", his eyes widened at the possibility, looking past you and at the receptionist as if to confirm his inquiry.

"No, Cheol. I told you I didn't want a massage. I came to see you, actually," well that was half true. You had wanted to see your friend in his element, maybe even convince yourself of finally taking him up on his offer. You had just wanted to see if you could handle that type of touch from your best friend considering your situation (re: a recovering case of touch starvation with a mixture of 'I might kind of maybe still have a bit of a crush on my bff').

To be completely honest, you were somewhat afraid. You'd hadn't felt any form of intimate touch in a long while or, well, ever. And to have it come from your best friend would only open up a can of worms you had wanted to keep under lock and key ever since meeting the man. Every excuse you'd given thus far to reject him bad been true, but had also been just that; an excuse. You knew that Seungcheol's treatment would help you lessen an issue that had now grown past your own personal ability to manage on your own. Which is why you were now here, willing to give it a try. You had self control, right? What was the worst that could happen if you let your best friend get his hands on you, your bare back as he rubbed it with oil? You'd deal with the logistics later, now you just wanted to see exactly what your friend was offering you.

"Me? What's up?", he had begun to walk you towards his rest area, away from the mean receptionist as he continued conversation with you.

"Well, I, uh, I was thinking about your offer ..."

"Really?! You wanna do it? I can clear up my schedule! Just let me talk to Stacy real quick and-"

"Cheol!", you had to physically hold him back from walking back to the reception to rearrange his day. He seemed way too excited to help you out.

"I haven't decided yet, Cheol. I was just thinking, well, wondering if it'd be okay for me to maybe shadow you for a while or something? Just to see what it'd be like?"

To any outsider you must've sounded like an idiot, somehow worrying over something that was arguably the most relaxing experience a person could possibly have. Ironically. What people didn't understand was the effect Seungcheol could have on a person. Specially a touch-starved, heavily emotionally invested, weak individual such as yourself. Denying your crush on Seungcheol was really the only defense you had left at this point. You could admit to your fears of being touched by Cheol, chalking it up to your lack of experience at being touched in general, but you could not even admit that your crush had maybe, perhaps, possibly, creeped back up a while back. It didn't help that no one you knew was aware of your sensitive state when it came to intimate contact. This was intel you hadn't even let your best friend in on. Maybe if it had been someone else, you would've accepted the massage already. You knew it didn't have to be an intimate interaction, it was just the fact that Cheol would be doing it that made it seem that way to you. But you knew his feelings would be hurt if you denied him and went to someone else. You'd dragged it out for far too long, making such a simple thing way too complicated.

~

Cheol easily agreed to your request, seemingly excited to even have you around his workplace at all. It was cute, really. He let you know that his next booking would start in ten minutes or so, so you waited with him during his break. Despite not receiving a massage for yourself, he provided you with a robe to change into due to the humidity most of their rooms tended to have during a session.

"Are you sure it's okay that I'm here? Won't the client mind?"

"Nah. She's a regular, she tends to forget her own name five minutes in," he winked at you. Well, that was reassuring ..

The massage began soon after. The woman, probably in her early 40's, walked in, gave Seungcheol a friendly greeting and proceeded to lay down, barely even acknowledging your presence in the back of the room. Cheol gave some weak excuse of 'she's in training, just showing her the ropes' to justify your presence, earning an uninterested hum in acknowledgment from the woman before she had begun taking off her robe and gotten on the bed in preparation for her awaited session. She was't fully naked but had very thin underwear on, meaning you could practically see every detail from her back. Her face-down position gave you a perfect angle to her almost-bare ass as Seungcheol prepared the oils he had set on the table beside him. There was also some incense burning in the room, along with some steam to help with ambience.

The massage began very slowly, allowing Seungcheol to deliver very soft touches as he spread the oil around her back. He even went as far as the back of her legs and ass, reaching as far as her feet. The first few minutes simply consisted of him spreading the oil around. You hadn't known Seungcheol gave full body massages til now. Before having started the session, Cheol had told you 'Pay close attention. This is what I'll do to you when you agree.' Had he meant he'd be running his hands up and down your entire body? The thought made you shudder, almost missing the show in front of you.

His next movements were harsher, but in a clearly pleasurable way. He began to knead roughly at the woman's shoulders, making her groan at the pleasurable pain. He did this for a while, clearly having found a point of tension in that area. His thumbs focused on specific areas of tension that you were familiar with; the same areas you'd known your back had knots in. Even just seeing it made the sore parts of your back beg for release of tension. When he moved on, he targeted the upper center of her back, just below where her breasts were located on the opposite side of her body. He rubbed at the sides, sliding his hands up and down the length of her back as he massaged expertly. He continually used the extra strength of his thumbs to pressure and rub at the sore spots. He didn't even have to ask where it hurt, it seemed like he could just detect it on his own. This was clearly exerting the woman, as she moaned and sighed at the feeling of Seungcheol's hands on her. It was clearly exerting Seungcheol too, who was letting out groans from his own efforts.

You imagined yourself in her position, wanting to be the sole receiver of his touches and sounds. You felt ashamed, but the act was making your body heat up. You knew it was purely innocent, and with the purpose of relaxation, but you couldn't help yourself. You wanted to blame the humidity in the room, or maybe the cozy material of your robe, but there was only one culprit; Choi Seungcheol. You had been right to believe that his touch would be your undoing. Simply hearing him was enough to make you lightheaded. You had lost track of where the massage had went, only thinking about the man in the room now. You cursed your vivid imagination for the images it was putting in your head just at the mere sounds coming from your friend.

The massage continued for a while, eventually sending the woman into a deep slumber. Cheol kept re-applying oil to her back throughout the session, even lowering his hands all the way to knead at her ass and the back of her legs during some points. That made you extra lightheaded. Not just at the thought of Seungcheol touching you in the same way, but knowing he'd have the magic touch able to release the tension trapped all over your back. You couldn't blame the woman for the sounds she made or the way she fell asleep due to the pleasure. You could only imagine your own reaction at Seungcheol doing the same to you. Even just seeing the way he rubbed at the skin had your back aching for the same release of pressure from the tightest spots on your back.

You were still slightly affected by the time the woman had woken up and left, leaving you and Cheol alone in the room, promising Seungcheol she'd be back soon as she exited. He approached you with a smile, clearly proud of having shown you his skills in action.

"So, what did you think?"

"I, uh, you're really good, Cheol. I'm surprised."

"Surprised? I've been telling you I'm the best for months! C'mon, there's no way you don't want a massage after seeing that," he rebutted, smirking with confidence.

You remained silent for a second, pondering as to whether or not you should move forward with this. He was right. He was clearly talented at it, and he really just wanted to help. Your aching back was begging for it, and so were the other aching parts of your body. But you didn't know if you could hold back without embarrassing yourself at your best friend's hands on you in such an intimate way.

Your best friend must've taken notice of your silence, speaking up again, but in a more serious yet sympathetic manner.

"Listen. I know you can be a bit .. shy about these things. If it helps, we can just set up at my apartment? I have a massage bed there too! It would just be the two of us. C'mon, what do you say?", he gave you puppy eyes as he usually did when asking for something.

He was always hard to deny. And in this vulnerable moment, with your back begging for relief and your body aching for his touch, you weren't surprised when you found yourself muttering a 'yes' in affirmation.

A few days passed. You and Cheol ended up having to coordinate your days off. It had actually been almost a full week until you were able to see each other again, which for you meant yet another week of grueling pain you had to put up with. You were really beginning to consider putting an end to the overtime you'd been working. Maybe after the massage you could begin to work less hours in order to lessen the pain. Maybe even take Cheol up on his offer of getting a standing appointment to lessen the pain more and more and prevent it from coming back again. It was something to think about. But now you had better things to worry about. Those things taking form in the man standing on the opposite side of the door in front of you.

You had agreed on today, a Saturday night, in order for you to come to his apartment and receive the dreaded massage. Cheol had worked all day today, which made you feel a bit bad about making him basically step back into his work duties but this time at home. He reassured you it was more than fine, reasoning that you'd worked all week and he had just wanted to work around your busy schedule. You appreciated his efforts to work with you, having always known Cheol to put your comfort before anything else. Which was yet another reason why you felt badly at receiving this favor from him. To anyone else it might've just been a massage, but you knew that to Cheol this was a service he was used to getting paid for, a talent which he put effort into. You felt like both like a leech and like a source of annoyance due to this whole ordeal.

You put all your thoughts aside and knocked on the door, knowing it was now time to forget about all your worries and just let Seungcheol take care of you. He opened the door almost immediately, almost as if he'd been waiting on the other side of it, ear against the door while your internal monologue went off in your head.

"You're here!", he smiled widely at you, ushering you in.

"You invited me, Cheol. I wasn't about to ditch you."

"But you thought about it, didn't you?", he kinda had you there. You did consider it, but you knew your best friend would've tracked you down sooner or later anyways.

"Listen, I know you're nervous, but there's nothing to be nervous about! I'll take care of you. It won't be awkward, I swear," despite having never told him of your lack of experience with touch, you always assumed he had some idea of it. He didn't know the full story, though. Not about the fact that your issue with the massage was being touched by him; the former source of your desires.

"It's .. it's fine, Cheol. I'm not nervous, I promise. Just don't know what to expect, that's all."

"I'll guide you through it. I set out the massage table for you in my room. I have the oils ready too. Oh! Did you bring a bikini to change into?"

Right. Last time you spoke he had asked you to bring either a bikini or some comfortable underwear. He's said something about needing your body as nude as possible ('within your comfort zone!', he'd quickly added) in order to give you a full massage. He also said the oils he used had a tendency of staining and leaving their strong fragrance on most fabrics. It was usually spa policy to provide customers with robes and such for their sessions, but being located in his home at the moment, he'd asked you to just bring your bikini directly.

You didn't feel any type of way about this, surprisingly. Having known Seungcheol for years, he'd seen you in a bikini as many times as you'd seen him shirtless and in very tiny swim trunks. The one thing, however, was the thought of him touching your bare skin, but it was too late to back out - not that you wanted to anyways.

"Y-yeah, it's in my bag. Did you wanna start right away or ..?"

"Yeah! Go get ready and I'll start preparing the oils for you. I'll also light some incense for ambience," and with that, he left you alone in the living room so that you could change without interruption. He went into his room to prepare things, closing the door to allow you some privacy.

You had chosen your skimpiest bikini. Not for any inferior motives! But because you knew Cheol needed access to your bare skin as much as possible. Your lower lower back had been killing you lately. Even more so than your shoulders, due to sitting all day every day. So you wanted to give him room to take care of that without any clothing getting in the way. You hastily got changed, deciding that you'd already waited long enough and that it was time to get this over with.

'Are you ready?", you heard Cheol ask from his room a few minutes later.

Ok, it was time. Anyone else would've been ecstatic at the thought of their crush rubbing all over their body, or at the idea of a free full-body massage. But you were too high-strung for your own good, which only increased your anxiety over the whole thing. However, you were now here, almost in the nude, only one door away from the man who would rid you of your pain and replace it with pleasure.

You stepped into the room without verbalizing a response, immediately meeting eyes with an expectant Cheol, who was organizing his oils as he awaited your arrival. He'd outdone himself, really. He had lowered the lighting in the room, lighting a few candles and some incense in order to turn up the spa ambience. The place smelled divine, and even the temperature was perfect. You could already feel yourself getting relaxed.

"Cheol, holy shit. This is too much. You didn't have to go so out of your way. This looks like an actual spa!"

"Only the best for my best friend," he gave his gummy smile in return, eyeing you as he directed you towards the massage table that was standing in the middle of the room. "You ready?"

"Yeah," you breathed out, accepting his stretched hand as he helped position you on the table.

He laid you face down on the table, but with your head turned to the side, as to not squish your features against the flat surface, "Try not to think too much, yeah? It'll feel so good, I promise. I'm gonna get rid of all tension in your body," the way he'd said it sounded promising, almost hinting at something more.

Without much warning, he began to softly run his hands up and down your body, going from your shoulders all the way down to your calves, almost as if sizing you up in order to come up with a game plan for your massage. Even that feather-like touch had you flinching a little. You'd never been caressed like this before.

"Shit, you're very high-strung. Even more than I thought," he chuckled in response to your body's reaction to such light touch.

"Cheol ..." you whined.

"Sorry. I'll start now, okay? You're gonna feel a little warm in a second. I'm gonna oil you up so it's easier for me to massage you, yeah? I picked my favorite scented oils for you."

You were thankful for the warning, because the warmth you felt immediately after made you swoon internally. You almost moaned out loud at the feeling of his hands lightly rubbing the oil all over your body. You were already affected and he hadn't even begun. It didn't take him long to actually start, however. He began with your neck, almost wrapping his hands all around it, but not closing them in on it. His thumbs were focusing on the lower part of the back of your neck, rubbing at spots you hadn't even realized were that sore.

"You're so tense, Jesus Christ," he was right. You could feel instant relief at his touch, pressing your body further into the soft material of the cushion of the table in pure relaxation.

He rubbed that area for a while, seemingly trying to target the knots located there. He then moved onto your shoulders, beginning to rub a little harder. He began to dig his thumbs into the problem areas, going extra hard at any points of tension. With this extra strength, also came his vocalization of his efforts. His groans of exertion began to fill the room, making you feel even more lightheaded than the massage itself.

"Shit, Baby. You're so fucking tight here."

The wording itself was killing you, but the way he touched you while doing it made you melt into the table, afraid you'd begin to vocalize your pleasure through the form of moans or whines. So far you'd been able to get away with soft breaths and maybe a gasp or two. But you knew that the moment you let go, you wouldn't be able to control the way your body would react to his touch. You were slightly terrified of what would come the lower he went down your body.

Then he threw you yet another curveball.

He leaned down, halting his movements for a moment, and put his mouth a few inches from your ear, "I can feel you tensing up. It's okay, I'll take care of you. You can relax for me."

You saw that as a green light to let go, whining a tiny 'uh huh' in response as he continued his movements.

He went lower and lower, now rubbing your lower back; the area right before the slope of your ass began, but he was quickly approaching it. Every area he had touched so far, he had undone. You felt like your back had been liberated of the huge weight it had been carrying for years. You were whining and moaning at the pleasure he was giving you, and also at the feel of his hands on your body. You felt yourself get wetter by the minute, having started to feel moisture down there from the moment he began massaging you. You were ashamed, but his touch so close to your biggest point of tension was driving you insane. You wanted him to forget about the massage and just flip you over.

"Okay, baby. Now I'm gonna do your ass, okay? Trust me, I know it sounds dumb, but a lot of people carry a lot of tension here"

He was right once again. As he massaged the muscle, you felt tension you didn't even know you had finally unwind. He repositioned you a bit, asking you to lift one of your legs to the side and let it hang a bit off of the side of the table. This angle lifted up your ass a bit, and disconnected your crotch from the table. You were slightly embarrassed, knowing that if he looked through a certain angle he'd be able to see you glisten with desire for him, but you chose to ignore it and hope for the best. Cheol was already helping you so much.

He continued for a few moments, occasionally going down and rubbing lightly at the back of your thighs and calves before coming back up to your lower back and butt. But he suddenly stopped at some point. You could've sworn you heard an intake of breath.

"Hey .. I'm gonna try a special technique. Is that okay?"

You were almost completely gone in pleasure by then, eyes becoming heavier by the minute. You didn't even have to think before saying yes.

You felt him lean his body more over the table, and also a bit over the lower half of your body. He was still just massaging your lower back with one hand, while making you bend your leg a little higher than before. You weren't sure what he meant by special technique, but you were down for anything had in mind. Except you hadn't expected what he would do next.

Having bent your leg forward, he had given himself the perfect angle of your pussy from behind, deciding to let his hand slip between your legs and run his fingers lightly over your folds. You gasped at this, repositioning yourself a bit to give him even more access. He took this as a welcoming sign, starting to run his hands up and down your pussy, stopping once in a while to rub at your swollen clit.

"Baby .. You're so tense here .. Let me help you? Yeah?" He said this as he continued to increase the intensity of his movements, rubbing more and more at your clit.

"Y-yes. Fuck. Please, Cheol ..." you whined, giving him permission to do whatever he wanted to you.

You yelped at his next movements. He had shoved his fingers inside with no warning, leaning down to kiss softly at your ass while he fingered you. The speed of his fingers wasn't too fast, but it was deep and calculated, dragging across all the places you needed him most. He was right, you did feel tense there, but his movements were relaxing you like nothing else could.

"Is it working, baby? Am I making you feel good?"

You'd buried your face into one of your arms, but still managed to squeak out a "yes!" in affirmation.

"Just 'yes', baby? We can do better than that, don't you think? I think I have something to rid you of all your tension ..." you could hear the smirk in his voice as he said this, feeling him finally remove the tiny piece of fabric between your legs.

He positioned his body a little further over the lower half of the table, lowering his face to the space between your cheeks in order to get his tongue on your pussy. He began to lick and suck softly, keeping a pace similar to that of his fingers just a few seconds ago. The pleasure was blinding you, causing you to lightly grind against his face, wanting as much pleasure as you could milk out of him. He seemed to like this, as he lifted his hands and placed them on your hips, guiding your grinding against him and taking on an even better angle.

All that could be heard were the moist sounds of his tongue on your heat and your cries of pleasure. The massage had been fully forgotten. All you could think about was your best friend's tongue and the way his groans against your pussy were making you lose your mind. It seemed like this was bringing him as much satisfaction as it did you.

"Ch-Cheollie! Right there! Fuck!", he'd begun to suckle at your clit, wanting you to finally reach your high and bring you as much pleasure as imaginable.

"Cum all ove' my face baby! wann' taste that pretty pussy," his words were muffled. He seemed physically incapable of separating himself from you.

You came almost immediately, loving the vibrations of his groans against you. You fell completely limp, being rendered a shell of yourself. The whole thing had felt like an out of body experience. From the massage to the life-changing orgasm. You were convinced there was no greater pleasure than what you'd felt in the past half hour. But Seungcheol seemed to disagree, instantly pulling you towards him and sitting you on the table, your body now facing his.

He had untied your bikini top earlier into the massage, which you hadn't minded since you were facing down and away from his view anyways, but now you were grateful he had. He was making direct eye contact with your tits, almost as if pondering as to what to do with them. He seemed to reach a decision, however, and attacked them with his lips with intense fervor, licking and biting at your swollen buds. He had you moaning out in pleasure again. It was as if he'd studied your body without you knowing, being an expert in all your weak spots.

He made out with your tits for a while, making your eyes roll back at the feeling of his tongue against your sensitive nipples. When he pulled away, he instantly began undressing himself at record speed. He had just been wearing shorts and a loose top, which made the process pretty quick. Immediately after getting himself nude, he positioned you so that you could wrap your legs around his waist from your position sitting on the table. He dragged you as close to him as possible by your legs, pressing your chests together.

He looked down at you while running his hands up and down your back, which was still slightly sticky with oil. He seemed to be in a trance, just looking at you with an endeared expression in his eyes, "You're so beautiful. Your body's so ... fuck. Can't believe you've been in pain for so long, baby. When I could've been taking care of you all this time," he had began to kiss along your neck and clavicles as he said this.

"Cheollie .." you breathed out, tilting your neck to the side to allow him extra space to kiss.

"Can I take care of you, baby? Let me get rid of all your tension?", he'd started grinding his bare hips against yours, having pushed open your legs in order to allow himself to drag his dick against your cunt.

Even just the weight of his cock against you had you whining, burying your face in his neck, not knowing how to react at the stimulation. You'd already felt the most pleasure when Cheol buried his tongue in your cunt, or so you'd thought. But that did not hold a candle to the feeling of his fat head as it nudged against your folds. You began to whine and writhe against him, hands digging into his arms as he ground against you. Until he nudged your head away from his neck, wanting to face you. He halted his movements altogether and looked into your eyes for a few moments, a small smile gracing his lips. His eyes began to lower, now staring directly at your lips. Your eyes mirrored his. It was a tender moment in the midst of what had just now been a mess of grinding bodies and oil. When he finally kissed you was when you truly felt relief. No massage could have compared to the bliss you felt with your best friend's lips against your own. The softness of the kiss didn't last much, however, as the movements of his hips picked back up and the kiss began to become more moist by the second.

Cheol took advantage of your soft gasps at the feeling of his cock against your cunt to slip his tongue in your mouth, expertly massaging yours with his. This went on for a bit, allowing for Cheol to stimulate you with some kissing and dry humping, further preparing you to take him free of pain. He was a little larger in size than average, and with the very limited experience he had asserted you to have, he wanted to prevent you from feeling any pain. He had wanted tonight to be nothing but pleasure for you, knowing how badly you've been needing some relaxation, and maybe with the slight ulterior motive of finally getting with his pretty bestie.

He unglued himself from your lips, chuckling at the way you whined as your lips followed his, "Baby, I'm gonna fuck you now, yeah? Wanna see you fully relaxed. That okay?"

"Mhm. Yes, Cheollie. Do anything you want. Trust you," you mumbled in response, head filled with air as you barely caught your breath from the overload of pleasure you'd felt tonight.

With that, he began to enter you, bulbous head showing a bit of a fight in entering your tight walls. You both let out a moan of relief when he finally bottomed out, almost as if you'd both been craving this for a while. He fucked you with a passion only someone who wanted you the way you wanted him would. You'd thought you'd reached the utmost pleasure when Cheol had you cumming against his tongue, but nothing could ever compare to being full of him as he praised you through every thrust, calling you every possible adjective to describe your beauty.

"B-baby! So fucking good. So pretty for me .. Gonna fuck you all night. Gonna fuck you to sleep. All mine now," he began canting in and out of you with even more intensity now, making sure to hit that spot with every thrust.

"Cheollie!"

"I know, baby. Gonna cum for me? Gonna let me fill that pussy up, aren't you, pretty?"

It didn't take long for you to cum, already feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions at every type of pleasure Seungcheol had delivered to you tonight. He followed soon after you, yelling out your name at the tightening of your walls around him. He breathed heavily as he leaned against you for a minute or two, only then moving away from you in order to get a towel and begin to clean you up.

"Sorry .. was that too much?", he smiled sheepishly as you seemed to wince when he attempted to clean you up between your thighs.

"No! It was perfect, just ... not really used to it, that's all."

"Okay, baby. If you say so. Now let me take you to bed!", with no warning, he picked you up and brought you over to his bed, completely ignoring the mess he'd caused on his massage table after having fucked you on it. He laid you down, cocooning you into his blankets before rushing to the other side of the bed and holding you in his arms.

He turned to look at you as he cradled your body against his, "Do you feel better now? Still sore?", the question seemed genuine.

"No, Cheollie. I feel amazing. I've never felt this good before, actually."

"That good, huh? I told you I was the best! But don't worry, baby. Gonna keep your appointment every week like I promised. Gonna keep you in my bed every time you're feeling sore, yeah, baby? Don't even have to ask, I'll be waiting for you," he chuckled at himself as he said this, but being completely serious.

"Will you give me your special treatment again?," you giggled against his lips.

"That's for you and you only, baby," he replied as he closed the gap between you once more.

a/n: ok i mightve made reader a lil extra overdramatic this time but u guys have to understand. my back hurts like hell. so pls sympathize w reader bc shes lowkey my soul sister in that area 😭

[cxrrodedcoffin]

Oh Make Me Over - Emily Prentiss

Likes are always appreciated but reblogs and feedback keep artists going!

Summary: Reader and Emily agreeing to do each other’s makeup devolves into lewd activities.

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: saw a tiktok that made me so insanely feral so here we are.

TW: dom!emily, lap sitting, cockwarming + penetration (w/ a strap), slight fingering, degradation kink, slight praise, playful thigh slapping, fem + afab reader

Rating: R (mostly smut again, oops)

——

“Emily, will you do my makeup?” You approached her from behind, wrapping your arms around her waist.

“Only if you’ll do mine.” She replied, setting the hot tool in her hand on the counter. She looked at you through the mirror, admiring the way your chin sat so perfectly on her shoulder.

“Let me finish my hair and we can start, go get everything together and I’ll be right in.” She smiled, turning to kiss your cheek.

You padded out of the bathroom, collecting both of your makeup bags and setting them on the nightstand while you relaxed on the bed. You pulled out the book you were reading, scanning through a chapter until Emily walked in.

“You first babe, I have an idea for mine.” She hinted, peaking your curiosity. She joined you on the bed, grabbing your makeup bag and moving to straddle your lap. She laid out the contents of the bag on the bed next to you, asking you to hold certain things as she went to work making you over.

Having her on top of you made your body temperature rise, your heart rate increasing every time she bit her lip in concentration and held your chin to move your face whichever way she needed you to face.

“Look down.” She commanded, ready to apply the smokey eye you had requested for your first proper date night in months. Your gaze dropped, giving you an eyeful of her ample cleavage in the low-cut top she had chosen. Something told you she was doing this on purpose but you weren’t complaining. The next thing you knew she was gripping your chin, holding you firmly in place.

“I’m doing your eyeliner, don’t move.” She was a little extra firm this time and you could tell she was in one of her dominant moods today. That thought had you clenching your thighs together, wondering what she would do to you when you got home from your date.

“Lashes?” She asked, holding up your favorite pair of falsies. You nodded, wanting to look extra pretty for her. She applied the lashes, blowing softly against your eyelids to help the glue completely dry. The new sensation sent a shiver down your spine, and you almost whined when she leaned away from you to grab a mirror.

“Thoughts?” She watched your expression, loving the way your eyes lit up when you took the look in.

“You always make me look so pretty.” You praised her handiwork.

“You’re always gorgeous.” She sighed, a little disappointed in your backdoor self-depreciation but always loving to hear that she’s made you happy. You blushed, still not fully sure how to feel comfortable receiving compliments, even from your girlfriend of 2 years.

“So what is your idea for yours?” The curiosity was driving you wild, Emily always has the best ideas.

She got off the bed, going over to the dresser and opening the drawer the two of you kept your toys in. You watched her carefully, trying to see what she was grabbing until she turned around, strap in hand. You gulped, cheeks flushing.

“We have to leave soon or we’ll miss our reservation, I don’t think we have time to do your makeup and do that.” You reminded her, trying to remain rational.

“Not if we do both at the same time.” She smirked, stepping into the harness and tightening it around her hips. You remained silent, still a bit confused until she climbed on the bed, settling with her back against the headboard, strap resting erect in her lap.

“Come here.” She beckoned you toward her, her hands resting on your hips as you hovered only inches from the toy between you.

“Have you ever heard of cockwarming?” This line of questioning was not what you were expecting when you imagined your first date night in months. You shook your head, the name giving you an idea but not 100% sure on the definition.

“I want you to sit on my lap with this inside you and do my makeup. You can do whatever you want on it, as long as you stay focused and get my makeup done in time to make our reservation.” Her eyes sparkled and even though you were a little unsure, the ache between your thighs was growing by the second and the concept of getting some relief was more than enough to convince you.

“Okay, I think I can do that.” You finally answer after a moment, reaching for her makeup bag and splaying the contents on the bed like Emily had done with yours. When you were ready you draped your hand over her shoulder, lifting your hips and holding your skirt up so you should position yourself above the fake cock. You reached down, pumping your fingers into your entrance to double check that your desperation had aroused you enough to safely sink onto it before positioning the head in place of your fingers, the stretch drawing a gasp of air from your lungs. You sank down completely, pausing for a moment to adjust to the feeling before reaching for Emily’s primer, ready to start your task.

You got to work, applying her base products as you slowly swiveled your hips, allowing yourself just enough stimulation to keep you satisfied but still focused on what you were doing. An issue began to arise when you reached for her eyeshadow palette, ready to start getting into the more tedious details. The slight friction wasn’t enough anymore, the carnal desire inside of you beginning to overwhelm.

You started bouncing your hips, starting out slower as you laid down a transition shade on Emily’s eyelids, pausing briefly to grab a different brush to put the dark shade of brown on her outer corners. You tried your best to blend the two shades seamlessly, but your hips seemed to have a mind of their own as you continued to increase your pace. You were chasing a slowly approaching orgasm and your focus was quickly slipping, pausing your work a little too long for Emily’s taste.

“Stop.” She commanded, her hands gripping your hips to pull you down to a stop.

“If you don’t focus we’re going to miss our reservation, is that what you want?” She chided, holding you still.

“No, I’m sorry.” You mumbled, grabbing a new brush to add the final eyeshadow shade. You held her still this time, your free hand gripping her chin as you did her eyeliner. When you grabbed her mascara, instructing her to blink as you applied the dark coating to her lashes, she let go of your hips, silently telling you to start moving again.

You reached for her setting spray, bouncing your hips once again as you shook the bottle, finally spraying the last step over her face. She took the mirror, inspecting your work as you continued attempting to get yourself off.

“You did a pretty good job for a selfish brat.” You didn’t want to admit it but hearing her demean you like that had you chasing your orgasm even harder, too turned on to question why. You were too lost in pleasure to realize that Emily had packed up her makeup, clearing the bed to make space for her to flip you onto your back, driving her hips into you as hard as she could.

“You want to cum, slut? You better hurry up, we only have a few minutes.” She taunted, her thumb finding your clit as you cried out underneath her, each thrust of her hips into your aching cunt rubbing perfectly against that soft spot inside you.

“Do you like when I make you fuck yourself for my entertainment?” You barely registered her question as you felt yourself teetering on the edge, so close to release.

“Answer me.” She demanded, slapping your thigh.

“Yes!” You cried out, euphoria washing over you as your orgasm finally hit, back arching and hands clutching at the sheets beneath you. As you came down Emily pulled out of you, planting kisses across your collarbone.

“Are you okay, love?” She asked, slight concern in her voice.

“More than okay.” You panted, still catching your breath.

“We really do need to leave in a couple minutes, what panties do you want?” She looked to you, opening your underwear drawer.

“Pink flowers.” The words had barely left your lips when she was already at your feet with the pair, helping pull them up your legs.

“I love you.” You smiled down at her, loving the dynamic the two of you share.

“I love you too babydoll.” She replied, taking your hand to help you to your feet to finally leave for your date.

——

Tag List: DM me or send me an ask if you’d like to be added to my general or Emily Prentiss taglist :)

[fluffy-bluffy]

When can you expect to meet your Future Spouse

Hello everybody 🧁 Another short PAC on the poll results. I hope you all will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed doing it for you guys.

Just a warning that this is a general reading and it is only for entertainment purposes. So take what resonates and leave the rest for others.

Let's get started 💪🏻

Pile 1 ---- Pile 2 ---- Pile 3

Pile 4 ---- Pile 5 ---- Pile 6

Pile 7 ---- Pile 8 ---- Pile 9

Pile 1

You could meet your future spouse in the season of spring. The month of March is significant over here. It could be the month you meet or something significant in this connection will happen in the month of March. When you meet this person you could be actively searching for them. Although I see you are in a hurry. You are being impatient. You could meet them at a celebration. Something to do with family. For a smaller chunk of this pile I am getting an arrange marriage. At this point of time you will feel closer to your loved ones.

Pile 2

You could meet your future spouse in summer time. Maybe near a beach or any other water body. Could be a lake, pond , river or even water park. The month of November could be significant for you. It could be the month you meet or something significant in this connection will happen in the month of November. You will meet your spouse when you are in a phase of disappointment. It could be related to work and might have been a situation which did not turn out as you expected it to leaving you in guilt and disappointment.

Pile 3

You could meet your Future Spouse in the season of spring. August and September could be significant for you. Something important in relation to this connection to develop in the months or it could be someone's birthday month. When you meet your future spouse you will be on a journey of self reflection. You will be trying to find yourself and create a better version and a better sense of value.

Pile 4

September and October are significant for you pile 4. It could be the month where someone's birthday comes. Or something important in relation to this connection will happen. Springtime is also significant for your connection. you might meet them in spring. When you meet your future spouse pile 4 you will be in an adventurous mood there will be a lot of excitement and adventure in your life at that point of time. You will be accomplishing your long term goals and moving towards a successful lifestyle. the kind you have always wanted.

Pile 5

You could meet your Future Spouse in summer time. And June and July are significant for your connection. I am sensing either you or your future spouse is the mind your own business kinda person. Like one of you guys dony't like bullshit and all the other one does is ramble about unnecessary things. very cute play fights I can sense over here. When you meet your future pouse pile 5 at the time you guys will be taking a moment of rest. It is quite possible that you have taken significant steps towards your goal and now it is your time to take some rest or go on a vacation. You might meet your person at that time.

Pile 6

You could meet your future spouse in spring. And the month of August could be significant. I lost my focus and started thinking about another reading which I have to do and as a result I was shuffling for a little while until my  focus was shifted back on this reading. The cards fell instantly after that. This could be advice for some of you that focus on whatever you are doing. Don't lose your focus. As you will be meeting your future spouse after a wish fulfilment for which you have to work hard and focus on the process. Why do I get that many of you are procrastinating do not do that. Pile 6 you have to focus on your goals this is like a serious warning and advice from your spirit guides. You will only be able to meet your future spouse after you have achieved this goal. Your guides are telling me that you are forcing them to be strict on you. Try increasing your attention span slowly. Are there any students here? I am getting that energy. Try pomodoro method. And is somebody struggling with history? Or with how to make notes? Search on youtube. You will find your answers.

Pile 7

You could meet your future spouse in autumn and March, April could be significant months for your connection. I am getting fierce and fearless energy over here. One of you could be in your rebellious phase when you meet. I am getting this is more of your energy and you are in this mindset that I want to win at any cost. This is mostly about your work life and I am getting you may meet them in your professional realm. So, it is quite possible for a few of you to have your future spouse working in the same industry as you are. But you are focused on your goals. And you won't stop until and unless you achieve them.

Pile 8

You could meet your future spouse in spring and the months November and December could be significant for your connection. You should be away from your home and it could be a professional work trip or a personal vacation for a family vacation or you shifting to a totally new place. But I see that you will be exploring the world at the time you meet your future spouse. You will be getting out of your comfort zone.

Pile 9

You can meet your person in the month of March , April and May. They could be someone who holds a lot of authority. They could be someone who is ambitious and stubborn. You will be facing a big decision when you meet your future spouse. And you will have to take this decision rationally using your logic and common sense. Maybe this has  something to do with your person maybe not. Whatever it is you are advised to think from your head and not feel from your heart in context to this decision.

Thank you  Thank you Thank you everyone for reading. Hope to see you in the next one.

[jessjad]

More than this

Summary: Y/N and Dean have been together for a while now, but she's not sure if this is going any further. More and more it feels like he only wants one thing from her and Y/N isn't sure if she can continue to give it to him.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word count: 4417

Warnings: 18+ only!!! some smutty smutness (a little rougher in the beginning), a little heartbreak, some angst, fluff and some realizations

A/N: Hello! 😊 So, I had this idea in my head and I really wanted to write it out, but I had to redo it a couple of times until I got it right. Get ready for some feelings. All mistakes are mine!

My Masterlist

"You like this, right?"

Dean murmured roughly into Y/N's ear while he kept pounding her hard into the matress. She was laying underneath him, legs around his hips and taking his rough thrusts with accompanying moans. Yeah, she liked it. Dean knew just how to make her come, how to manhandle her, but she could not answer him. In a way she just wanted it to be over. He kept talking dirty to her and started to grib her throat lightly. With his other hand he took one of her calves and brought her leg up on his shoulder to change the angle, to get even deepr into her heat.

"Oh, I know you like this, sweetheart. Hitting every sensitive spot insight you while I fuck you really hard. Just to keep you on edge." he increased the pressure on her throat a little and started to circle her clit with his thump.

Y/N began to feel a little anxious about the hand on her throat and gripped his wrist with some fear, but that was something that Dean didn't notice while he was chasing his own release. Y/N was sure that he would never hurt her, but that was something knew. Something she actually did not like.

She felt the pressure build in her core and the heat that started to rise up in her body took her mind of the current situation that bothered her. Dean lavished on her nipples with his tounge, intensifying the pressure and in the moment when he let go of her throat, the coil snapped and she came hard on his cock. Screaming his name, Dean's movements began to falter and he too came undone, releasing his sticky seed and filling her to the brim.

The Winchester rolled down of her and layed himself right next to her. Relishing in the feeling of the post sexual bliss, both their breahts came hard while their racing hearts were trying to calm themselfs down again. He closed his eyes and smiled before he turned to the woman next to him, to see how she felt. With one arm drapped over her stomache he gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek, but Y/N didn' react in any way.

"You okay there, sweetheart?" he asked and looked closely at her.

Upon hearing his voice, a smile appeared on her lips and she turned her head to Dean. "Yeah, all good."

To not have to look him into the face much longer she scooded over to him and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Now, laying in his warm embrace and hearing his heartbeat, she felt safe, good. Once this rough side of Dean was gone, she wanted to be as close to him as she could. This is what she wanted to experience more with him and she probably should just talk to him. But she didn't know how. And if she was honest, this was somehow all her fault.

When she met Dean for the first time, she was hooked right away. He had put on a charming smile that reached his beautiful green eyes and right away she felt like a fly who was drawn to the light. Although she couldn't really believe that he was actually attracted to her. She was no model and definitly not perfect, but that didn't seem to bother him at all. And so she had no problem to share her bed with him the first night and it was really beautiful.

A string of dates followed in which they got to know each other better and better and they also kept up their nightly activities underneath the sheets. After a month it felt right and Y/N started to fall for the tall man. Her heart began to yearn for him and she could only hope that he was starting to feel the same way. She felt so comfortable with him, because he seemed to genuinely like her just the way she was. And that led to the situation they now found themselves in.

One night, while they were about to make the bed shake again, she had brought it up that she likes it a little harder sometimes. And Dean, the gentleman that he was, tried to do justice to her wishes. In the beginning they tested it out and at some point they found a grove with eachother. It was fun.

But now, over six months later, this was all there was left. Hard, rough sex. No sweet feelings or romance. And also no emotional intimacy. Even the dates had stopped. They only met at her place or, like right now, here in the bunker at Dean's place.

Y/N knew about his actual job and eventhough she didn't want to get involved with it, it didn't bother her. Dean was saving lives, he was a warior. A frecking hero! And that just made her fall for him even harder. But after all this time, she still didn't know if he was falling in love with her too.

Long after Dean felt asleep, Y/N was still lying awake in bed. There was to much going on in her head. She looked over to Dean and tears began to burn in her eyes. As much as she liked the man next to her, this was not what she wanted. Sometimes he was so secretive and she felt like she didn't even know him. It was as if he didn't want to let her into his heart. As if he didn't want to let her share his feelings.

And so, Y/N knew what she needed to do. She needed to get out of here for a while. Needed to get away from Dean and this entrenched situation. A little distance would probably be the best for now. And with this resolution she stood up. Quietly, to not wake up Dean, she put on her clothes and grabbed her stuff. With one last glance back she decided to write him a little note and a minute later she was out of his bedroom.

On her way out of the bunker she passed by the kitchen. The lights were on and when she looked into the room, she saw Sam sitting on the table, his laptop infront of him and a fresh cup of coffee next to it. He looked up after hearing steps, but smiled as soon as he saw it was Y/N.

"Hey! You still awake?" Y/N asked as soon as Sam noticed her.

"Yeah! Yeah, Cas just called. He is on a case in Michigan and needed some help. So, I try to find him some answers."

Y/N only nodded as she took a few steps into the kitchen and smiled. She admired the cohesion the boys shared. They always helped eachother out if needed. Sam on the other hand noticed her backpack that hung from her right sholder and frowned a litte.

"Are you going somewhere? It's still early in the morning?" the younger Winchester asked and directed his attention fully to her.

"Oh, ehm..." Y/N needed to think fast, 'cause she didn't want to lie to Sam. "... I totally forgot that a good friend of mine invited me to her birthday party tomorrow. And since she lives in Jamestown..."

Upon that realization Sam nodded his head. "... it's a long drive to North Dakota."

"Yup." she agreed.

And it was not even a lie. Her friend Lizzy would celebrate her birthday, but just not for four days. Y/N had already texted her friend to let her know, that she would be there a little earlier and when Lizzy would read the message in a few hours she definitly wouldn't mind it. Since they haven't seen eachother in a long time.

"You know, you could've taken a flight down there too." he suggested and stood up from his place.

"Yeah, but I... actually like to drive. You know? Blasting my music, rolled down windows and the wind blows through my hair..."

"Alright, alright." Sam chuckled. "Dean says the same things, so I get it."

Now it was Y/N who laughed a little. But just the thought of the man who owned her heart, stung to some degree. Maybe she should've just talked to him, instead of running away, but she really didn't know how. The one thing she didn't want, was to mess their relationship up. If this even was a relationship.

"Doesn't Dean at least say goodbye to you?" the tall man questioned, while he looked out into the hallway.

"No!" she blurted out way to fast, what gave her an confused look of Sam. "No, but it's okay. We... have been really busy... you know? So... he needs his beauty sleep."

She said and did some randomly gestures with her hands, so that Sam knew right away what she exactly meant. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head, getting a little shy.

"Okay, alright. I don't wanna know... that... actually."

They both laughed and inside Y/N were relieved, that he seemed to believe her. Both of them fell silent again and before she could change her mind, Y/N moved forward and hugged Sam goodbye.

"Don't be up to long. Get some sleep, okay?"

Sam hugged her back, the weird feeling in his gut ignoring for now.

"Don't worry, Y/N. I will."

And without looking back again, she made her way down to the garage to get into her car and leave Lebanon behind her.

Dean didn't know what startled him awake, but when he opend his eyes, the sun had just begun to rise over the horizon. He searched his bedside with his hand automatically, but his eyes followed right away. The place where Y/N had slept just some hours ago was already empty. And cold. Only a little note was laying on the pillow, saying that she was gone for a few days. He sat up and noticed right away that her clothes and backpack were gone, too. What was going on?

The older Winchester got out of his bed and went out into the hallway to look for his girlfriend. But he didn't get to far before Sam appeared infront him on his way to his room, yawning his heart out.

"Hey!" he made himself known. "Have you seen Y/N?"

"Oh, hey Dean." answered Sam a little confused and stopped in his tracks when he reached his brother. "She... went out to her friend. Did she... did she not tell you that?"

Dean huffed. "All I got is this little piece of paper." holding the note up to show it to Sam.

"Dean... did something happen between the two of you?"

"What? No!" he blurted out right away, but the look on Sam's face got him a little worried. "Why?"

Sam relaxed his shoulders a little and shook his head in thought. "I don't know... I've met her in the kitchen before she went out and... I had a weird feeling. You know? She... she didn't seem herself... in a way. As if she... was a little on edge?"

"What?" now Dean was confused. "But eveything was fine when we went to sleep."

To that Sam had no idea what else he could say and a weird silence fell between the two men.

"Alright. I'll try calling her. Thanks, Sam."

"Oh, not... not at all."

But Dean didn't hear that anymore. He was already back in his room, grabbing for his phone.

Y/N was finally able to breath. It was a freeing feeling that she had really needed. Lizzy was surprised that she came over so early for her birthday but she didn't complain either. They had know each other for so many years now, that she was happy to get some alone time with her dear friend.

The only times that Y/N felt a little bit guilty was when Dean texted or tried to call her. She was still not ready to take his calls, because she knew that she would give in the second she heared his beautiful voice. She missed him, though. A lot. She missed him so much, that her heart hurt and screamed his name. So that's why she only answerd his messages, eventhough her answers were short and vague. He knew now where exactly she was, but she also asked of him to wait for her to come back. That she just wanted to spent some long needed time with her friends. And he accepted it.

Now, the birthday party was in full swing and banished her bad thoughts. They all laughed, drank a little and just had a really good time. The girls were sitting outside in the backyard of Lizzys house and enjoyed the fairly warm weather. The hours were passing by quickly and for the first time in the last months Y/N felt carefree. But the later the evening got and the more alcohol flowed, the more intimate the conversations became.

Late at night, there were only Lizzy, Y/N and Cathy, another good friend of the girls, left. And Cathy was very expressive, especially about men. She had just told some funny anecdotes about her past relationships and they were all laughing a good amount. But she also talked about her problems with the new man in her life, named Mike. He was older than her and they came from two very different backrounds. But love had still struck them.

"So, it's all good now? With you and Mike?" Lizzy asked.

"Yeah! Yeah, I talked to him. I just had to and he understood it."

Lizzy saw the lightly confused look on Y/N's face and explained. "Cathy had a little problem with their sexlife and she was debating for quite some time if she should say something or not."

'Huh...' Y/N thought. As it seemed she was not the only one who had those problems.

"Our sex was really boring, you know? Like, reeeeaaaally booooring. I mean, I like it slow and intense sometimes, too. It's not a bad thing. But I also really needed the rough sex. You know? When you're just so pent up and you need to release some stress... a good hard pounding can do wonders, right? " Cathy continued speaking and laughed. "And you two know me. I've always been open about what I like and what not. But with Mike... it was difficult, you know?"

"And how did it... go?" Y/N asked.

She didn't know why she asked that, when she didn't even want to talk about it. But maybe this was the right moment. Maybe she should take advantage of this moment and talk to her friends about her problems too.

"Good, actually. Well, I was really nervous in the beginning, 'cause I truly like the guy, you know? But That was also the reason why I wanted to talk to him."

"Yeah..." Y/N agreed, but had to think about her own situation with Dean. Maybe she made this all into a much bigger thing than it acutally was. "...yeah."

But Lizzy noticed the change in her friend right away. She saw the change in her mood and it got her worried a bit. She had asked Y/N about Dean and how their relationship developed, but she didn't fully answer her question.

"Y/N? You okay?"

That question brought back her attention to her friends and she sat herself up a little straighter.

"Yes... I am." she tried to mask it, but Cathy saw right through it.

"Well, THAT sounded convincing..." Cathy turned around and asked silently for an explanation.

"Y/N, girl... you can talk to us." Lizzy tried and then Y/N just felt the urge to talk to her friends what was on her mind.

"Okay, okay, ehm..." now she felt ridicoulous in a way. "Dean and I... it's mostly good, you know? We get along really well and he swepped me of my feet right away..." she smiled, but that faded quickly.

"There is just one thing... and I don't know what to do abut it..." she shook her head and took a sip of her wine, like trying to steal herself. "I get what you're saying, Cathy. About the rough sex and all. I do like that too, but..."

She felt so awkward talking about this, but she also knew that her friends would not judge her or talk her down in any way. And maybe they could give her advice on how to navigate that ship safely into the haven.

"Okay, I'm just gonna say it." with a deep sigh Y/N kept talking. "When I first talked to Dean about the things I like in bed I also told him that I do like it rough sometimes. And with a charming smile he tried to live up to that. We tried different things until we found a grove we both liked, you know?"

Lizzy and Cathy shared a quick look as if they already knew what was coming next over her lips.

"But since then... rough and hard sex is all that's left. It's like... nothing else is existing anymore. We stopped going on dates, we are not talking to eachother anymore like we did in the first few months... all we do when we meet is eat something and then... on into the bedroom."

"Y/N..." Cathy said, but the woman continued talking.

"Don't get me wrong: He is not hurting me or forcing himself on to me or any of that. Not at all. I do like that kind of sex and he knows my body like a violin. But... it feels like it's just sex and nothing more. No romance, no emotional intimacy, no... connection. You know what I mean? And I miss that. I miss the slow, passionate sex. The lingering touches and the soft kisses... we don't have that anymore."

"Do you love him?" Cathy asked after a moment where noone knew what to say and Y/N did not have to think about it.

"Yeah. I do." and that truth hurt.

"Then you should definitly talk to him. Tell him how you feel and that you need more. This is not something you can just... sit out, you know?"

"But... that's the problem. I... I just don't know how. He seems so content and I don't wanna ruin our relationship by causing an maybe unnecessary problem."

"But it's never unnecessary to talk about the way you feel and try to improve your relationship with him. And when Dean loves you too, then he should have no problems with that, right?" Lizzy asked.

Y/N wanted to agree. It made so much sense hearing this from her friends and now she was wondering why she did not just try it. She was even questioning her behavier right know in leaving Dean and not telling him why. Her mind was racing and she felt tears starting to burn her eyes.

"Dean does love you... right?" Lizzy wondered.

But Y/N could not reply right away to her friend. She wiped the tears from her cheek that were now rolling down her face.

"Honestly, I... I don't know..."

After that relevation the other two girls came over and embraced Y/N into a big hug. But none of the three ladies saw the green eyed man that stood in the shadows, looking into the backyard and balling his fists, while he eavesdropped the whole conversation and tried to hold back his own tears.

"You need to talk to him, Y/N."

"I know, Lizzy. I will."

"And if he doesn't understand it, then he is not the right guy for you."

The little goodbye scene kept playing over and over in Y/N's head. She had really awesome friends who tried to help and protect her and in the end, this little hide out was what she had needed. Because one thing became really clear to her and that was that she loved Dean. Her heart was his and she wanted at least fight for it.

But now, sitting in her car in the bunker's garage, nine hours later her nerves were starting to get to her. Maybe Dean was angry with her for leaving him so suddenly. Maybe he didn't wanted to talk to her anymore. Maybe, maybe, maybe...

She took a deep breath and stealed herself before she finally got out. With her bag over her right shoulder Y/N stepped into the war room, but the bunker layed erriely dark and quiet. Putting her bag down she went to look for Dean or Sam, but could not find any of the men right away. Which was weird, because she had told Dean that she would be back this evening. When she went down the hallway to the bedrooms she saw a light after turnig the corner to where the Dean Cave was.

Her heart started to race a little, but when she reached the door and opened it, she didn't know what to say or think. The room was enlightened by a lot of candles. The two armchairs were standing on a wall and a big pull out couch had took in their place. On a sidetable were some brugers, fries, drinks and an apple pie, ready to be eaten. What was happening?

By the sound of Dean clearing his throat Y/N was startled a little, but her eyes found him only seconds later. He was wearing dark Jeans, a black shirt and her favorite brown and grey checkered button down. He smiled, but also he seemed almost a little shy.

"What..." Y/N couldn't quite believe it and was touched at the same time.

"To much?" he asked with a wry grin.

"No! No, I... love it."and she really did, her heart was mealting on the spot. "But... why?"

Dean sighed. "Okay." he came over to her and took her hands in his.

But he did not really know how to start this conversation. In his mind he had time to think about it and in the end he had decided to just wing it, when the moment came. Only now this idea was probably not the best one he ever had.

"I'm so bad at this..." he grumbled to himself, but Y/N had still heared him. "I'm sorry... Y/N."

The woman furrowed her brows a little in confusion. "What?"

"I should've noticed something. I should've realized that... something was not right between us."

"Dean..."

"I know I've been really busy lately with my work. We didn't have a lot of time for us and... god, I should've at least noticed the signs during our sex...."

Now Y/N took a step back and looked at the man infront of her questioningly. "What do you mean?"

Dean's eyes widened. "Crap..." he uttered and scratched his head. "I, ehm... after you'd been gone for four days, I followed you to Jamestown to see you."

"You did?"

"I felt like I had to. You didn't answer my calls and I had the impression that you were pulling away from me. That I was about to lose you. So I wanted to talk to you one last time."

"But..." now she was really confused. "I did not see you. You weren't there..."

"I was... but I didn't get the chance to make myself known. You were sitting outside... with your friends..."

She needed a moment before she realized what he just had said. He was there and had heared everything she was explaning to Lizzy and Cathy. He knew it now. He knew what was going on in her.

"Oh god..." an uncomfortable feeling rose within her and she touched her forehand to collect her thoughts. "I wanted to talk to you, Dean. I really wanted to. But I just didn't know how and I didn't want to..."

"I love you." Dean cut her off. "Y/N... I love you."

His words started to sink in and tears began to build in her eyes.

"I should've told you that way sooner, but... like I said, I'm really not good at this. But that's not a good excuse either. And I don't wanna lose you over something that we can fix without any problems."

He touched her cheek and tried to catch the now falling tears with his thump.

"You are so important to me... and I hope you will never feel like you can't talk to me again.

And to prove his point, he kissed her. A little cautious at first, but Y/N gave in right away and so he could deepen the kiss. It felt so good, she had really missed that, but she was still a little nervous. She layed her arms around his neck and buried her hands in his hair. Dean embraced her into a tight hug and moved from her lips to her neck. She moaned softly and goosebumps rose all over her body.

His hands slowly made their way down to her hips and landed on her bottom. He gentle squeezed and massaged her ass, while she rubbed herself on him. It felt like they were back at the beginning months ago, when they started dating. The lingering touches, the soft moans. As if they had all the time in the world.

Their clothes fell slowly piece by piece to the floor and after Dean brought Y/N down on the couch, the underwear was all that was left. But Dean kept holding her tightly in his arms, kissed her slowly but very passionately. Legs and arms intertwined it felt like they were trying to become one, not just physically but with their minds, too. Like Dean tried to connect their souls with eachother.

When the rest of the fabric fell, Dean kept eye contact while he entered her with slow and deep strokes. He moved with passion and desire as he put his hand under her hip to change the angle, to be even deeper connected to his girl.

"I love you." he said again, after he picked up some speed.

"I love you, too." Y/N answered as she came closer and closer to her climax.

And while they both came undone, her heart was bursting with love for this man, who loved her back just as much.

A/N: I don't know why, but I really loved this. 🥰 I hope you liked it too. And to anyone who came across this, let me know what you think. I'd appreciate it. 😊

@lyarr24 @leigh70 @k-slla

[cameronspecial]

The Obligations Of A Fuck Buddy

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Swearing and SMUT

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 5.2K

Summary: Y/N and Rafe have made it very clear. They are only supposed to be each others' sexual release and that is it. However, what happens to their agreement when the lines start to blur?

Masterlist

Becoming fuck buddies with Rafe was a special choice for Y/N. Her emotions are always on display for everyone around her, so choosing to be with Rafe without any strings attached is out of character for her. However, once she gets to experience the skills Rafe possesses in the bedroom, she is prepared to try to do anything to keep being a part of that activity, including, letting him have his way with her out in the open on his dirt bike. His hand slips down her stomach to her aching core, “Come on, Pet. I know you want this.” He had dragged Y/N away from the bonfire and to his dirt bike hidden from sight anyone. At first, she was unsure about doing anything in public, yet Rafe had a way of convincing her to play along with the game. Her head falls back onto his shoulder, letting out a scrumptious moan. He freezes just within her underwear, “You are going to have to give me what I want if you want me to give you more.” “Please, Rafe. Let me feel your fingers inside of me,” she whimpers. Rafe chuckles and tugs her with him as he leans against his bike. His fingers make contact with her glistening cunt, using her wetness to lube his digits. She hunches forward at the feeling of him plunging into her depths. He begins dragging his fingers in and out of her, causing her eyes to roll to the back of her head.

“You like this, Pet? Being treated like a slut where anyone can see you,” he taunts with his lips pressed against the shell of her ear. Her head bobs, “It feels so good. More, please. Give me more, Rafe.” “My dirty little whore thinks she can tell me what to do. That’s not right. I’m going to have to teach you a lesson,” he tsks. Her eyebrows dip, questioning his words, when his speed increases and he starts to apply pressure to the bundle of nerves at the crest of her womanhood. This helps build a tension within her that is ready to be released. She closes her eyes when she is at the cusp of her orgasm and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Rafe. He removes his fingers from her, bringing them to his lips to taste her. She whines, “No. No. No. Let me come. Please, Rafe.” “I’m sorry, Pet. If that is what you want, then you better get to work. Got to teach you who is in charge,” he warns, eyes flickering to his bugle. 

With his message clear as crystal, she drops to her knees and works on removing his belt. She pops the button of his pants and listens to the zip of his zipper, yanking his pants pass his bum. The tent in his pants causes her to stare at it in appreciation for a second. She knows once she removes his boxer briefs that she’ll be in sight of the thick veiny glory she normally drools over. Rafe grows impatient, “Get to work, Pet.” He hisses at the feeling of her nail accidentally catching his skin a bit. She issues her apology through a kiss to his angry tip. He groans, shoving her parted mouth onto him until he hits the back of her throat. His hands grip the seat of his motorcycle as she removes herself from his length and then brings him back into her mouth. She continues to bob her head on his length until he is spasming in her mouth. He pulls out of her to release himself all over her face and the top of her breasts exposed by her tank top. He yanks her up to her feet by her bicep. Her thumb comes to wipe off the cum on the bottom of her chin and she sucks it into her mouth with her gaze on him. He pulls her lips against his by her chin, “Good job, Pet. I think you deserve what is about to come next.” He spins her around to bend her over his mode of transportation. Her elbows make contact with the leather of the seat and she pops her backside out for him to take what he wants. 

The buckle clangs against itself while he brings the top of her pants and underwear to below her butt. He surveys the environment to see if anyone is around. No one is in sight, so he lines his tip at her opening and slams into her. His balls slap against her bump and his pace causes her to grip onto the seat. Her mouth falls open, letting out into the night her sounds of pleasure. “You are such a slutty girl, Pet. Do you want everyone to know what we are up to? I gotta shut you up so we don’t get caught,” he criticizes. He pulls her up by the hair so her back arches, which allows him to shove his fingers into her mouth. She knows to wrap her lips around the digits to mimic sucking his dick. His other hand stays steady on her waist to allow him to pound into her. 

He feels her tighten around his dick and flushes her against his hips. His hand on her waist drops to stimulate her clit. He doesn’t bother pulling out to just the tip anymore, opting to buck his hips wildly into her. She finally lets the peak of her pleasure roll over her and collapses onto his bike. He continues to thrust into her until he is groaning her name with his release. His DNA stains her inside, oozing out of her as he pulls out. She is on birth control and he always makes sure to send her Plan B the next morning. They aren’t exclusive but have agreed to use condoms with everyone else except each other. Being able to be with each other without any barriers is one of the main reasons they started their sexual relationship. She trusts Rafe to stick to their agreement and she doesn’t care what anyone else says. They get tested on the regular. His fingers tease her entrance to push the leaking substance back into her before hauling her bottoms up her body. “Now, Pet, you are going to go back to that party with the knowledge that only I can make you feel that amazing.” He pats her bum to send her off without any more dialogue between the two. She knows this whole arrangement is a bad idea, yet satisfies every need inside of her and she would be stupid to let him go. 

———

They aren’t a couple. The only obligation they have to each other is a sexual one. It means no feeling, no taking care of each other, and no talking about anything personal while solely in the company of each other. So, technically, she shouldn’t be at his door right now. She had recently heard one of her supposed friends calling her a bitch behind her back and she didn’t know who else to turn to for comfort. Her father won’t care unless it is university-related, she is pretty sure her mother loves her so-called friends more than her, and her brother is living in another state, meaning he can’t provide her with the hug she needs at the moment. She has other friends outside of the two trash talkers, but she isn’t sure who she can trust. So being in his arms is the best solution she can come up with. Her hand shakes as she raises it to the door and lets it rapt against it. She wipes her tears away during a wait for a response. The woosh from the door blows Rafe’s messy hair back. He stretches his arm in the air and curves back before giving her his attention. “Damn, you must be really horny, Pet. We had sex last night,” he grins, reaching for her wrist to draw him against his chest. She jerks away from him with a shake of her head. “I was actually hoping we could talk. Something happened and I need someone in my corn.”

Rafe lets out an annoyed sigh, “That’s not what we do, Y/N.” She notices his shift in what he calls her and second-guesses her attempt. However, she needs this. “I know. But I can’t talk to anyone else because they will be biased and I’m feeling vulnerable, to be honest with you,” she confides. Her teary eyes bore into his. His icy heart is unaffected by the water running down her face. His arms cross, “And that’s my problem how?” Her mouth gapes open in an attempt to find the right words. “We may not be dating, but I at least thought we were friends.”

“Well, we aren’t. So we either fuck or you can leave.” 

She debates the offer in her head. This isn’t exactly why she went to Rafe. Her goal is consolation, not pleasure. She observes the manner in which his muscles flex under her gaze. She trails up to his face and notices how his curtain bangs have fallen in front of his face. It causes her thighs to clench together in want. She answers by smacking her lips against him. He wraps his arms around her, letting him consume her completely. 

———

She doesn’t let herself collapse onto the bed beside him once they’ve both reached their highs. She learned a long time ago that it is easier to leave right away instead of giving herself a moment to recuperate from the bliss. Staying seconds longer would give her the illusion that they could be something more. It’s a delusion to think so. He is always there to remind her of that fact. Today is the epitome of what their relationship is. He doesn’t say anything as she gets off the bed to keep looking for her clothes. He reaches for his phone and scrolls through it. She doesn’t doubt for a second that he is planning his next hook-up for tonight. It takes everything in her power not to let the little bubble of jealousy pop. They aren’t dating. There are no feelings in this agreement she reminds herself. Finally, she is fully clothed and goes to get her phone on the nightstand. She reaches for the doorknob and is stopped by his sharp voice. “Don’t ever come to me again with that emotions shit again, Pet. I won’t hesitate to replace you if you do.” 

———

Cocaine can’t be his vice anymore. He doesn’t know what made him choose to abandon the substance all of a sudden, but a little voice in his head is telling him that it isn’t what he needs anymore. He has been finding himself leaning less and less toward it for months now, so it is about time that he tries to go fully sober. It hasn’t been easy, especially with the consistent antagonizing from his father. “And why should I trust you, Rafe? All you ever do is lie to me,” Ward yells, his face as red as a sunburn and veins bursting from his forehead. Rafe uncharacteristically cowers at his father’s tone, “Because I’m trying to get sober. I promise. I’m hoping it will help me have a clear head more often.” Ward chuckles in a way no family member should at that news. “Like you promised you would buy the generator but actually used the money for your bike. We were without power for a day, Rafe!” Ward criticizes. Rafe runs his fingers through his hair and yanks at the end of it. 

“I’ve already fucking apologized for that! What is it going to take to get you to believe that I’m changing?”

“Going back in time wouldn’t make me alter the way I see you. You are a fuck up, Rafe. It’s all you can ever be. Why can’t you be more like Sarah?”

The shrapnel of his father’s words slits at his heart, causing him to feel betrayed. Rafe storms out of the room and slams the door to his truck shut. His fist slams against the steering wheel with an angry yell. He has to get out of here, yet where would he go? Topper and Kelce would just make fun of him. Sarah and he aren’t exactly close and Wheezie is away for camp. In truth, even if the others were available, there is only one person he wants to be with right now. He takes a deep breath and runs his hands down his face. He starts the car, setting off toward his destination.

———

Y/N is pulled out of her slumber by banging coming from her front door. Her hand darts out to beside her bed to pick up the bat she keeps there for safety. The floorboards creak as she inches her way toward the sound with the bat raised. She can’t hide the slight tremor in her hand as she approaches. “Pet, it’s me. Please, open up. I need you.” She instantly recognizes the voice and rushes to the door. Once the door is open, Rafe is there before her with red eyes. However, she can tell it is from crying and not his normal vice. “Can I come in, please? I can’t be alone right now,” he begs. She brings her lip between her teeth. The petty part of her wants to say no. Wants to remind him that they were fuck buddies, that’s all. Yet, she has heard rumours around town about Rafe trying to get sober and she doesn’t want to risk him relapsing because she isn’t there for him in his time of need. She steps to the side to let him in. She doesn’t expect him to run to her with his arms out. He buries his head into her neck and his arms are around her. She laces her fingers through his hair, “What’s wrong?” She feels his tears hit her skin. “Why can’t my dad accept that I’m not Sarah?” he cries, tightening his hold on her. 

She presses her lips to his forehead for comfort, “I don’t know, Rafe. I want you to know that no matter what he says, you are just as good as Sarah and you matter just as much. Do you want to talk about it more?” She can feel his head shake from side to side against her chest. “No, I really just need to think it all through first. Can I sleep here tonight?” She has never heard him sound so broken before. It is so unlike his confident demeanour. Her response comes in lacing her fingers with his. She leads him to her bedroom and rummages through her drawers for something he can wear. She comes out empty because he is always so stubborn about not mixing emotions in their relationship and leaving a shirt behind counts as that for him. He musters up the ability to laugh, “It’s nothing you have never seen before, Pet.” He doesn’t shy away as he strips off his clothes, leaving him in only his boxers. No matter how many times she has seen his bare chest and toned legs, it doesn’t stop her heart from fluttering. 

She shakes herself out of her shameless stares and snuggles herself under her covers. He slides himself beside her, resting his head on her chest. Her eyes cast downward to see his eyelids are closed. The gentle rise and fall of his chest tells her he is sound asleep. Listening to her heartbeat soothes his aching heart. The steady rhymes remind him that she is looking out for him and he couldn’t be more thankful. 

———

The empty bed beside him makes him panic, except it subsides at the sounds of clatter coming from the kitchen. Footsteps approach the room and she stands in the doorway with her hands on her hips. He has never been here to see the way the morning sun causes a glow to fall on her face. His stomach does a flip at how it accentuates her beauty. The mug in her head lets out the delicious aroma of coffee. “Your clothes are in the dryer and there is coffee in a travel mug for you on the counter. You can return it the next time we hook up,” she announces, turning to go back to the communal area. He didn’t expect her to be so quick with getting him to leave. 

For some reason, the walls of his heart tighten at the thought of her wanting him gone. She follows him out of the room and gets his clothes from the laundry room. After he puts them on, he joins her in the other room. His hand wraps around the purple travel mug, his fingers touch as he brings the cup to his lips. She doesn’t acknowledge his entrance; instead, her eyes remain on her phone that is on the counter. His other hand goes up to scratch the back of his ear, “Do you have work today? I was thinking maybe we can go out to breakfast. You know… So I can tell you about last night.” Her pointed finger freezes over her phone and she doesn’t bother to tilt her head upwards as she looks at him through her lashes. She drops her shoulders and gives her full attention to him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. That would involve emotions and you are the one always sayin-” she tries to explain, ahead of him cutting her off. “Saying that emotions aren’t part of the deal. No, you are right. It isn’t in the bounds of our relationship.” 

She gives him a tight-lipped smile, “I’m sorry. I just think it is best to keep to the boundaries we set. Now that it is morning, you can talk about it with Topper or Kelce. They’ll probably be awake by now.” He frowns. She thinks he only came to her because his friends weren’t an option to go to, while it is partially true, another part of him merely liked the idea of being with her. That couldn’t be right though. She is meant to be a sexual release, that’s it. There had to be a different explanation as to why he wanted to be with her. It’s probably because he was thinking about sex to get his mind off of his argument. Yeah, that is why. “Yeah, that is so right,” he agrees, taking a step back with the travel mug still in hand. “I’m going to head out. Ummm… yeah.” He swings around, almost hitting the closed door because he underestimated the distance. He looks back at her with a nervous smile and steps back. The door whines as he pulls it open and shuts it behind her, leaving her to wonder what has the most self-assured and stubborn person she knows acting like a fool.

———

Rafe’s stare hardens whilst the room around him pays no attention to his line of site. They don’t notice the way her hair wraps around her finger. Or the harmonious giggle she lets out that Rafe swears he can hear even from across the room. Or how she is looking at him the way she used to look at Rafe. Rafe doesn’t remember the moment she stopped having that twinkle behind her gaze when looking at him. It didn’t used to matter to him, yet all of a sudden, ever since that night, it is all he yarns to receive. Now, her focus is on Derek. Derek doesn’t deserve her attention. He doesn’t know how to please her. He doesn’t know her favourite flowers are daffodils because she used to plant them with her grandmother. He doesn’t know the pressure she goes through with her dad about school and how most of her friends from the island are more focused on keeping up appearances as a Kook. She thinks he doesn’t listen to her or notice those tiny things, except he does. His brain is moving a million miles a minute until a bump on his shoulder shifts his notice. 

He looks up to see Topper trying to hand him a red solo cup. The grumpy Kook doesn’t take the drink, much to the annoyance of his friend. “What’s in it?” Rafe gruffs, swatting the outstretched arm away from him. Topper’s smile vanishes, “Jungle juice.” Rafe shakes his head. “I don’t want it,” he grumbles, turning his concentration back to Y/N. Anger fills him at what he sees. Derek’s fingers lace hers and he is tugging her toward the front entrance. His first instinct is to go after them, but then he remembers another part of their agreement. There is no exclusivity between them and this causes Rafe to grab the drink Topper offered. He downs it in one go, getting up to get another one. This is going to be a long night.

———

Y/N doesn’t need a summer job; however, she enjoys working the occasional shift at The Wreck. Tonight is one of the nights when Mike needs her help. She expertly maneuvers herself around the table and heads behind the counter to punch in her new order. At the sound of a voice clearing, she spins around to find Rafe sitting on a stool at the counter. She beams, “Hey, Rafe. What can I get for you?” 

“I don’t know, it depends. How long until your shift is over?”

“I work closing, so I’ll probably get off around eleven.”

“Perfect, I’ll have a burger with friends and a coke. Do you have plans for tonight?”

“Not that I know of, so yes, I can come over.” 

He grins like a child, whose parents told him he can get the toy he has been begging for, and lets her get back to work in hopes it will bring them to eleven faster. 

About half an hour later, a new figure enters the restaurant. Rafe recognizes the buzzed, almost bald, head and the dark chocolate eyes, immediately scowling at the man. The last time Rafe saw him, he was taking Y/N who knows where. “Hi, Y/N/N. How are you?” Derek greets, sitting beside Rafe with a flick of his chin. Rafe looks afraid in fear that his jealousy will show and he’ll get into a fight with the new arrival. She turns to Derek and her smile is so bright that the acid in Rafe’s stomach swirls around the pylorus like it is a drain. He has to control his strength so he doesn’t break the glass in his hand. His ears disconnect with his auditory cortex, not processing the conversation going on between the other two. “So are you doing anything after your shift is over?” Rafe finally catches up with the conversation at Derek’s attempt to make plans with Y/N. He expects her to say she can’t hang out with Derek, yet she doesn’t. She giggles, “I’m free. What did you have in mind?” Not wanting to hear what the man has planned, Rafe gets up from his seat, throws a hundred-dollar bill on the counter and rampages out of the restaurant. The clatter of the dishware because of the stool chair being shoved harshly against the counter causes her to notice Rafe’s exit. She excuses herself from the conversation and her shift, running after him. 

“Rafe, wait,” she yells in a pant. She watches as his footsteps falter and he looks at her. “I thought you were going to wait for me to finish my shift.” He scoffs, avoiding eye contact, “I was. Although, I didn’t see a point in staying once you had plans with Derek.” His words drip with hate when he utters the name. She traces the back of her knuckles; her guilt blossoms in her stomach at the disappointment on his face. “You’re right. I did promise to go to your house. I’m sorry. Let’s go now,” she apologizes. His head whips from side to side, “I’m good. I don’t need your pity.” She steps forward and takes his hand. “It’s not a pity thing. I want to go home with you because you are a good time,” she swears, squeezing his palm. He could benefit from being more angry, except all he wants is to tumble into bed with her. 

It doesn’t take long for them to get to his bedroom. The door closes and he steps closer to her, his warm hands cupping her cheeks. The tips of her eyebrows plunge slightly. His gentleness is something new. Usually, their sex is primal. The typical emotion running rampant was desire. His head drops closer to her and their lips meet in a gentle yet passionate fashion. He cradles the base of the school with his fingers through her hair. She has never felt so adored before. No one has ever given her attention intertwined with love. Her parents are always busy with work or each other. Her friends keep her at a distance, even if they love her. This. This is different. He sets the pace, slowly lifting her shirt and unbuttoning her pants. She matches his speed as she sheds off his clothes. They look each other in the eyes and silently agree that foreplay isn’t something that is going to happen tonight. Because tonight isn’t about getting off. It is about the intimate connection they can form by having sex. He walks her back toward his bed while they kiss, breaking apart so he can pull the sheets back. His head gestures toward the bed and she gets comfortable on it on all fours. 

He smiles and steps behind her. She can feel his hand on her shoulders as he twists them so that she is lying on her back. Her head forms an angle. Their go-to positions are ones where face-to-face contact isn’t necessary. Nevertheless, when they do missionary, it is so that he can choke her easier and harder. She is ready for the moment he enters her to have a little sting and is surprised when he eases his way in. She thinks he is going to through her legs over his shoulder to go deeper inside of her. That never happens either. He rests her legs around his waist, thrusting into her slowly and sweetly. His hands find their way back to her cheeks. She loves the heat it provides her. Her hips buck up with his movement to add to their pleasure and he may not be going as deep as he could, yet the intimacy provides all the satisfaction they need. 

They let out small pants as they worked together to bring each other to their climax. He remains inside of her while they both come down from their highs and collapse beside her. She gets up from the bed, ignoring his release that rushes down her leg. Her hand reaches for a tissue as she grabs her underwear off the floor. She steps further from his bed and he doesn’t stop himself from grabbing onto her wrist. Y/N twirls to look at him with curiosity in her eyes. “What’s wrong?” she worries, trying to see any visible injuries on him. His eyes can’t meet hers and his thumb fidgets with the bone of her wrist, “Can you stay?” 

“Why would you want that? Wouldn’t that make this too personal for us?” 

“Because I want us to be personal.” 

Silence fills the air, both of them processing what he said. He figures he should add more to the statement and sits up. He doesn’t bother to cover himself after the blanket slides off his lap and onto the floor. “I was crazing to think that I could keep things purely physical with you. Because the truth is… I have fallen head over heels for you and the only thing I want is to be personal with you. I want something personal, and romantic, and everlasting. I can’t keep being your fuck buddy, Pet, because I need more from our relationship. I-.” His rant is cut off by her lips colliding with his. She rests her knees on either side of his waist. Their lips disconnect and her forehead touches his. He twirls a strand of hair around his finger as they stare at each other in soft pants. His other hand kneads at the skin above her bum. “I need those things too,” she whispers. He grins like a child, “So I guess that means you’ll say yes to a date.” “I would love to go on a date with you,” she agrees with a smile. They enjoy each other's hold for a few more minutes until he catches her trying to hide a yawn. He stands up and holds the bottom of her thighs to take her with him, her arms instinctively wrapping around his neck. She doesn’t question when he walks to the bathroom and buries her head in his neck. 

He puts her on the counter and spreads her thighs apart. Her tired eyes watch him wet a wash cloth and clean off the dry cum between her legs, pressing a delicate kiss to her sensitive clit. He straightens to find her a new toothbrush and hands it to her. They brush their teeth together before he gets her a spare shirt from his bedroom. He helps her tug it over her body and carries her back to bed. He lies beside her, bringing the blanket to cover both of them. Throughout the whole routine, seeing her naked body gets him hard again, yet he ignores the rock between his legs and snuggles her into the crook of his neck. She feels how turned on he is and even though she is spent from their earlier round, she offers him a chance of release. “We can go another round if you want.” His head moves from side to side, “No, Pet. You’re tired. Let’s just sleep so you can get your energy back. Maybe in the morning.” She can’t disagree with him; nevertheless, there is something else that they can try that might be able to give him the same sensation he needs and she has wanted to try it. She looks at him with bashful eyes, “What if you put it in and didn’t move? Then we can go to sleep and maybe it will make you not as hard anymore.” 

Surprise flashes across his face and want brews in his stomach. He doesn’t think he has ever heard such a hot request before. He nods and brings the hand thrown over her waist down between their bodies to guide the head of his cock to her entrance. She places her hand on his chest and confirms she is ready for him. His thrust eases himself into her, her hand slightly digging into his skin for comfort. Once fully sheath inside of her, he kisses her and brings her closer to his front. “I love you,” he mutters against her lips. Her eyes are already fluttered shut, except she still hears his confession. “I love you too.”  They fall asleep with him buried in her and a romantic future on their minds.

Taglist: @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld

[cavegirlpoems]

I see we're talking about XP!

@thydungeongal and @imsobadatnicknames2 have interesting posts up, and now it's my turn to throw my thoughts out there. SO. I think of XP as the game itself offering you a little bribe. Do the things the game wantss you to be doing, and the game gives you an XP to say thank you. Get enough XP, and you're reward is greater a permanent bump in power, meaning greater ability to exert your will over the world and therefore greater agency. (Systems like Fate Points, Willpower, Inspiration etc work the same, except the increased agency is a temporary one-time thing, not permanent, so at times I'll lump them in).

So. Let's talk about a few different systems and how they handle this.

Let's start at the very begining (a very good place to begin). In the very early editions of D&D - back when Elf was a class - you got XP for treasure. Every gold coin you got out of a dungeon (or equivallent value of other treasure) was 1 XP. This worked well; the game wanted you to go into a dungeon and explore it for treasure, while trying not to die. If you succeeded, you got XP, which made you better at doing that so you could do it again in a more dangerous dungeon. And because treasure is XP, and treasure weighs you down, getting it out is a meaningful activity. Hell, many of these games measure weight and encumbrance on a scale of 'how many coins' to drive this home. It was a good loop. Early D&D has many faults (like the weird racism in the MM) but the xp system is something it absolutely nailed.

Next up, let's look at classic vampire the masquerade. At the end of each session, you get 1 xp just for being there, and then another if your character learned something, if you portrayed your character well, and if your character was 'heroic'. So, what's classic VtM rewarding? Ultimately, it rewards the player for being the kind of player the game wants. If you get into character, engage with the game world, and act like an interesting protagonist, you get rewarded for it. It's a bit fuzzy, and at the GM's discretion, but its very up-front with what it wants to incentivise. It was the 90s, they were still working out how to be a narrative-driven game, but you can see where they were going with it.

OK, now lets look at something a bit weirder; monsterhearts. The main source of XP here will be Moves. Rather than a bolted-on rewards mechanic, each game mechanic you engage with might grant you xp. You can use your strings on another PC to bribe them with XP when you want them to do something. Lots of abilities just give you an XP for doing a thing, such as a Ghost ability that gives you XP for spying on somebody, or aa Fae ability that gives other players XP when they promise you things. Here, XP is baked into the game, but its very up front about being a bribe. Act the way the game wants, or go along with other players' machinations, and you get rewarded for it. And, critically, XP is just one part of a wider game-economy of incentives and metacurrencies; it links in with strings and harm and +1forward in interesting and intricate ways that push the game forward. Monsterhearts is a well designed game, and you should study it.

Finally, let's look at how D&D 5e does it, as a What Not To Do! We have two different options. The first is XP for combat. When you use violence to defeat something, you get XP for it. Under this option, the only way to mechanically improve your character is by killing things. So, we can conclude that D&D is a game that wants you to engage in constant violence. The other option is 'milestone XP'. IE: you level up at the GM's whim, when they feel like it. What does this reward? Fucking nothing. Or, at best, you're rewarded for following the railroad and reaching pre-planned plot moments in a pre-scripted story. You either have no agency in the matter, or are rewarded for subsuming your agency to the will of the GM. (This pattern continues with inspiration rewards, which are given 'when the GM is entertained by you'. Fucking dire.) "Oh!" the 5e fandom says "But a good GM can write a list of achievements that will trigger milestone XP". And yes, they can, but that's not how the text of the game presents it. That's a house rule. That's the GM doing game design to add a new, better, mechanic to the game to fix its failings. Is it any wonder, then, that the 5e fandom puts so mucn weight on the GM's shoulders, and has such a weird semi-antagonistic relationship between GM and player? Is it any wonder that absolutely brutal railroading (and the resulting backlash of disruptive play) is so rife over there? Look at how the incentive structures are built? It's either killing forever or GM-as-god-king! Anyway, yeah. Consider what you reward with XP, because that will become what your game wants. And if you're hacking a game, one of the most efficient hacks is to change what you get XP for and suddenly the game will pivot to something very different.

[v1x-x1]

✧𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟕: 𝐓𝐨𝐲𝐬 - 𝐀𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨✧

✧|| 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✧ 𝐚𝐨𝟑 ||

✧|| 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐝 | 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 ||

“Do you understand, my Star?”

You had just listened to Albedo explain his new experiment, though you weren’t entirely sure what it actually included. He was being very brief and vague about it.

You simply nod, surely it can’t be anything bad, of course not, it’s Albedo. It was a simple experiment with some new equipment he had recently gotten his hands on.

He took you further into his lab and instructed you to sit down on the chair that was placed near the back of the room.

“You don’t mind if I blindfold you, do you, my Star?”

You shook your head. You trusted Albedo with your being, and being deprived of one of your senses shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

He then came back with a blindfold and a collar that remained in his hand even after he blocked your vision.

“Let me know if it’s too tight.” He was now placing the collar on your neck. You heard something click but nothing happened.

You couldn’t exactly hear what Albedo was muttering under his breath, but it seemed to be about something being on?

“Stand up.”

You stood up, immediately. Almost too quickly. You barely even had a chance to process his words before you were doing it.

“Take your top off.”

Under normal circumstances, you would have hesitated, or taken a second to calm down from your slightly flustered state. But not this time, this time you simply followed his instruction even though you still felt a little embarrassed.

What was making you like this?

“Take all your clothes off.”

And you did.

Was it the collar? It must have been, is this what he meant when he wanted to test out his new equipment? Oh Archons…

A low chuckle could be heard from his direction. Oh you just knew he was smirking - even though it was a rare sight of his face, you hated (loved) it every time, and this time you didn’t even get to see it.

“Get on all fours.”

And once again, you did. Archons, you hated this… You try to open your mouth to see if you can speak, and you could, but you barely got through the first word before you felt a painful shock go through your body.

“Oh, my Star, you can’t speak without permission.” You would say there was a hint of smugness in his words, but it was more or less smugness with a sprinkle of words.

You could hear his steps approaching you, “Sit down and spread your legs.”

Fuck this was so embarrassing but you didn’t hesitate.

This was when he kneeled down and his gloved hand trailed from your knee, down the inside of your thighs until it circled your hole before pressing something inside it; a small gasp escaped you which then activated the shock once again.

Whatever was inside you wasn’t too big, it felt like it fit you perfectly in all forms.

This was when you heard another click, and this time you instantly felt the result of it.

The object inside you started to vibrate and move in and out of you, but you could tell it wasn’t Albedo moving it, no, it must have somehow been made to do it itself.

You let out a moan, activating the shock. Does this have to happen every time!?

“Oh, my Star…” His voice was as gentle as ever, the monotone sound of his voice frustrated you more than anything right now. How can one act this way in a situation like this? “You have to stay quiet. Though it is quite tempting to want to hear your beautiful noises.”

You tried to hold back all the noises that were urging to come out. Even as the intensity of the object increased, you still managed - somehow - to stay silent.

It seemed that your silence was more of a challenge for Albedo though, because he soon verbally allowed you to make as many noises as you needed.

It was a relief not having to try to hold back, you could freely moan and pant without the fear of feeling the pain of the shocks.

You felt like you were going to die, the object made you feel so good and hot on the inside. You would say it’s like something you’ve never felt before - which wouldn't be a lie - but the only thing that made this sensation even compare to something you’ve had with Albedo in the past is your feeble attempt to imagine it was Albedo moving in and out of you. That it was Albedo putting pressure on your neck. Yet, your lips still trembled with pleasure.

“You’re not allowed to come.”

You knew it.

You fucking knew it.

Fuck. You don’t know how much longer you could hold it in for, it was getting more difficult with the second.

It definitely didn’t help when Albedo once again kneeled in front of you and started rubbing your clit. The sudden feeling causing you to shudder. Since you couldn’t see anything, you felt like all your other senses had become stronger, which you wouldn’t have minded if it wasn’t for the stupid punishment you’d have to go through if you disobeyed his orders.

He didn’t stop, instead he decided rubbing faster would be a good idea, along with the object continuing to move in and out, and so fucking deep, you can’t fucking think.

“I c-can’t-”

You didn’t get shocked, clearly because the noises of pleading were truly needed.

This made you feel more pathetic, but is that not what you were right now? Being fucked by a stupid inanimate object and touched by Albedo in such a heavenly way you genuinely feel like you’ll go insane if your not allowed to reach your high right now.

“Yes you can.” His words were blunt, and other than coming, you wanted nothing more than to slap his face right now.

He continued teasing your clit, the object now only moving in the deeper parts of your body. Your gasps and moans were stuttered, you couldn’t even let a damn noise of pleasure out coherently.

“I will allow you to come on three, yes?”

The words felt like your saviour in this very moment.

The object seemed to be moving further up - you didn’t even think it was possible.

“One…”

He moves his hand away.

“Two…”

He turns up the intensity of the toy, making you shiver and it almost pushes you over the edge, but you knew better than to disobey.

He chuckled.

Fucking say three already.

“Three.”

You came undone, the object that was in you seemed to have disappeared almost immediately, but not out of you. It disintegrated and created a whole new wave of pleasure that made your entire body shake and strained your vocals with how loudly you moaned.

While you were still on your high, Albedo took off the blindfold, “Look at me.”

And you did.

“Thank you, my Star.”

Taglist: @lov3-ly @velvetyshu @coffeeisbehindyou @sanestventisimp @bokukenmakuroo

lmk if you wanted to be added or removed!!

[gotham-daydreams]

i had a really random idea that activated a neuron in my head and wanted to share here if that's ok— neglected!reader and friend!reader crossover. increased angst potentials, increased relationship struggles.

idk if it's just me, but the cold knowledge and sudden realization that your family was only ever interacting with you to use you as a means of getting close to their original target (who i will be assuming is a friend of yours)? you should be feeling glad that they're finally, *finally* interacting with you, but it just makes you feel more sick. they talk to you, but never want to talk about *you,* if that makes sense, always their target. half-hearted attempts to try and be more discreet, but you can tell they really just want to probe out info about your friend from you. perhaps this even cements your belief that "oh. they're never going to care for me the way i used to care for them."?? im sick i will explode and become atoms for this hypothetical reader's sake. leaving them, and the family realization that in their own selfish goals, they lost something more valuable. only makes sense for them to get it back.

but perhaps it can also be them originally them trying to again, use you as a bridge between said target, only to become more obsessed with you somewhere down the line of continuous interactions. idk lots of thoughts here i am happy big and mentally normal about these giant group of costumed losers !!

I am in love with this idea... especially because you can do it both ways (with the reader either being a part of the fam, or just a 'friend' of one of the Batfam members that they kinda forgot about until now)!

I'll go into Acquaintance! Reader later, so for now I'll focus more on this other neglected sib reader :]

Can you imagine how absolutely heartbreaking finding out that they're just talking with you to get something out of you, at first? Like, okay, maybe reader is suspicious at first, of course, because why the hell is the family starting to acknowledge their existence now? Was it something they did? Something that caught the family's attention? Etc., etc., but the point is that maybe with a little effort and too little time, they begin to have a little hope. They began to think that the family actually cares about them now.

Like yeah, sure, they kind of dismiss their questions when the reader tries to bring up the changes and why things couldn't be like this before, and have an odd habit of giving short answers and moving onto other topics concerning their friend when the reader, again, tries to press even a little bit more for answers or responses, but that's just how it is, right?

It's nothing personal... the reader knows that, and even if it hurts sometimes, it's nothing to worry about, right? Besides, they wanted this... didn't they? They wanted to be noticed, to finally have the family's attention, to have something and they're finally getting that! They should be happy, grateful even... and they are! But... is it so selfish to want more? To want the family and some of their siblings to even be a little interested in the things they do? Instead of just asking about their friend all the time?

Maybe the reader even gets a little jealous, envious, even, as this goes on but I can see them being content with little. Ultimately a little scared to ruin a good thing, and to ruin this for themselves... even if it definitely doesn't feel as good as they had hoped it would be oh so long ago.

... And then, they figure out the truth. Either from overhearing some members of the family talking about it, other friend of theirs points it out/puts that idea into their head, or they just... notice it. Hell, all three of those things could happen - with the reader knowing on some subconscious level that things aren't as they seem and that the family is definitely trying to get something out of them (a thought they had at first, that didn't fully go away), and another friend of theirs (that the fam isn't going crazy over) sort of points out that it looks like the batfam is just using them to get to whoever (and maybe the reader dismisses it at first, but that moment only further plants that idea into their head), and the reader keeps noticing all of these little things from that moment and onward... only for everything to come crumbling down once they finally overhear that conversation.

Once they hear some of the members discussing what they should ask the reader, how they should go about it, and hell - maybe for the irony of it all, maybe even joking about the reader finding out about their little 'ploy'. Even going so far as to laugh and say how the reader will never find out because they're too stupid, too desperate to even really entertain the idea to its fullest. How even if they do think so... well, they can just string poor little reader along and distinguish the idea before it even becomes a problem. How they could use that to just further rope the reader in, and make them feel guilty until they forget all about the very idea of the family just using them... further securing themselves to be one of - if not the only - closest people to the reader, and therefore, much closer to their fixation.

It's... more than just heartbreaking for the reader, but not quite world shattering either. It's some odd in between feeling that hurts all the same. They knew, sure, and they always had the suspicion- but it fucking hurts.

Somehow, knowing hurts more in that moment - just the reader knowing and having their suspicions confirmed hurts worse than anything they've ever felt. It doesn't quite feel like betrayal, or maybe it does - they aren't sure, but at the same time that description doesn't feel quite right. Though that's because they feel partially at fault. Like they did this to themselves, and they do feel guilty, but for only putting themself through this.

They should've known better. They should've listened to their gut. They should've never let this happen- they are at fault as much as the family is...

But can they fully blame themself? They got a glimpse of what it was like to be part of the family. A glimpse into the life they always wanted... could they really blame themself for taking that chance when they saw it? For trying to seize that opportunity even if it was never really there? Could they blame themselves for trying to look past all the signs, because they too wanted something out of it? Because they just wanted to be part of the family that badly, even if it was all a lie?

It hurts, and the reader leaves quietly. They don't burst into the room and confront everyone - no, they just walk away. Too consumed in their own grief and feelings to do much else besides that. I imagine that they don't even make it to their room, and hell, maybe one of the other Batfam members find them, but just looking at them makes the reader cry harder.

If they literally run away from the person, or not, is really up to interpretation at the moment, but either way they manage to find some alone time to themselves, and just... let it all out. The reader, in that moment, allows themself to grieve over the lose of a family they never had, and after all is said and done, I can imagine that they try to distance themselves- but are smart in how they do so.

The reader tries to get the family closer to their friend, while also limiting the amount of the the reader is actually around both the friend and the family. Basically just trying to put everyone in a position where they don't need a middleman - where the reader doesn't have to be involved anymore, and basically just... giving the reader an opportunity to truly distance themself from the family.

Sure, the reader might still try to hang out with the family's current fixation, but I can see them be willing to sacrifice time with that person just to further get away. It hurts to do it, and they don't want to, but they figure that, with enough time, once the family chills the fuck out, they'll hopefully be able to sort of go back to how things were. If not? Then... well, they'll just have to learn how to live with that, and they hope that their friend can forgive them.

Don't get me wrong, I could totally see the reader trying to find ways to get their friend out of the position, but the batfam is one tricky foe.. so they settle for what they can, but maybe they're still trying to do what they can. (Or maybe they think that this is the best course of action since... well, maybe they overheard some other talks afterwards? Who knows)

It could also be that, through the reader's attempt to leave, and them trying to eliminate themself from the equation entirely could be a huge turning point for the Batfam in terms of them turning yandere (aka, if they weren't yan before, they definitely are now. and those that are, are even worse than before). A real "you don't know what you had until it's gone" kinda deal, and it's gotta be hilarious to see the fam just scramble for something, and to kind of 'catch' the reader until they're truly gone... which, to add to the humor- the reader is probably already trying to move out of Gotham by that time LMAO

[mr2swap]

The great shift: Swap Sindrome 1

In a dimly lit room, I was masturbating with my fingertips in front of a pale white monitor. As I watched the images of boys around the age of high school students lined up on the screen, I fantasized about taking off their clothes and touching their naked bodies.

-ahh, ahh… ahh-

I closed my eyes as I fantasized about the scenes that were still etched in my memory, the memories of my body and my Gymbros in the locker room flooded my mind, At this moment there was nothing erotic about looking at my best friends or touching their oily and muscles to feel The Progress we had made in the gym, but now it was different, I was different.

I continued looking at the photographs that were shown on the Instagram profiles of my former friends, while the desperation and excitement with which I moved My small cock increased more and more.

I kept changing the photos until a photograph of my old body was displayed on the entire screen. I enlarged the photograph just so I could rotate the most erotic parts of my old body. I focused my gaze on the armpits that still had a couple of drops of stinky and sticky sweat running down towards my abdomen.

-FUUUCK! What I wouldn't give to smell those musky holes again-

The shameful and perverted words that came out of my mouth really embarrassed me, but right now I had no control over myself the only thing I wanted was to fantasize about my old hairy armpits, lick his hard biceps and play with his grazed nipples, The memory of the last time I could smell a sweaty t-shirt from my original body made me ejaculate violently, the semen spread across the keyboard of the old computer that was in front of me.

At that moment my head cleared, from one moment to the next the animal instincts that dominated me a few seconds ago immediately disappeared... and then only remorse.

I took a piece of paper that was within my reach and began to clean up the mess that I had caused myself. When I finished cleaning my little cock, I threw the ball of paper into the trash can that was saturated with balls identical to that one in a yellowish color. And they left a disgusting smell in my room.

I stood up, pulled up my pants and slowly walked towards the kitchen, avoiding looking at my fat old face on the relevant surfaces that were in my messy apartment. After doing this, I feel disgusting, but no matter how hard I try to stop thinking about my old life and in my old body.

-The swap syndrome…-

I said quietly trying to justify my depraved obsession with my old life, I had all the symptoms I had read on the internet:

“ Swap syndrome is a disorder characterized by a persistent and overwhelming obsession with a person's past life after experiencing a body swap with another. This syndrome manifests itself when two individuals involuntarily exchange their bodies thanks to the event known as “The great shift.”

People affected by SS experience intense longing and nostalgia for their previous life. They feel a deep disconnection from their new body and struggle to adapt to their new physical identity. Meanwhile, they constantly long to return to their old lives, including their relationships, daily routines, and everyday activities.

Symptoms of SS may include episodes of obsessional love, masturbation, anxiety, depression, and dissociation, as well as a decrease in social and occupational functioning. Affected people may manifest compulsive behaviors related to the search for ways to reverse the body exchange and recover their previous life.“

I've been trapped in the body of this overweight middle-aged man named Hiroshi for two years, and one day I just woke up in a room full of trash and on the other side of the world. It had been a few hours since all this had started So it was easy I searched what was happening on the internet I tried to contact my parents, but none of them responded to me even now I haven't seen my parents after so long, maybe they have They've gotten better bodies and now they're having fun. Or maybe they're in one of the many prisons trapped in the body of some convict, I don't know...

At least they can put me in contact with the Old Hiroshi who was now on the beach in Miami enjoying that new teenage body. At first, we wrote to each other every day, trying to go unnoticed among all the chaos of the world. I had to eat. So I decided. Not to tell anyone that he was actually a 16-year-old American teenager instead of a Japanese man my father's age.

The real Hiroshi helped me adjust to my new life, while I naively believed that this was something that would be resolved in a couple of days. But over time I got used to my new job in a restaurant as a dishwasher, I didn't understand the language very well. , but he didn't need it, the real Hiroshi was a quiet and submissive guy, Very different from what the real Hiroshi is like in his new life, as a popular teenager. That he spends his afternoons tanning on the beach and flirting with beautiful girls.

I used to talk to the real Hiroshi every day, but over time he took longer to respond to the messages, then to look at them and just not respond and over time he started ignoring my calls, now the only thing I know is because of the photographs I uploads to Instagram and social networks of my former friends, I didn't dare tell them the truth, that their former friend was now trapped in the body of a 45 year old obese loser…

I've been saving everything I can to be able to travel back to America and reunite with my old life. Although the salary as a dishwasher is shit, it's better than nothing, but once I'm in front of my old body I don't know if I can control myself... look down and a tiny bulge formed again in my pants from just being in front of my old body.

-Shit….-

Hello, if you liked this story, and you want more, you can take a look at my new Ko-Fi page to see my most recent stories, see my new stories and support me to continue creating this hot content.

[lonniemachin]

🚨 URGENT: HELP MARAM AND AHMED EVACUATE GAZA WITH THEIR 3 LITTLE CHILDREN 🚨

I have been trying for days to increase momentum for my friend Ahmed’s fundraiser, as donations have started STAGNATING after a burst of wonderful progress. He, his wife Maram, and his three children Habiba, Kareem, and baby Muhammad have been displaced 11 times — most recently back to an area of destruction, now actively facing bombardment because they do not want to risk the spread of disease in densely populated areas. Maram was recently sick with severe liver disease and malnutrition which has impacted her ability to feed her 1 year old baby, which has also caused him to struggle with malnutrition. Muhammad has to crawl on the rocky ground with nowhere else to move and play, and Habiba stands in line to bring home dirty, unsafe drinking water to her family. Ahmed must walk miles to receive an internet connection to communicate with me, his beneficiary, and his other supporters. On top of all of this, his first bank transfer of €16,000+ has been experiencing delays. That amount was almost enough to register he and his wife and kids for evacuation with Hala. Now they must wait longer.

I’m trying to help them reach their goal ASAP to make up for the held up funds.

Please, please give what you can to help this family. I have been talking to them near daily for months and they have become dear friends. I have been provided more than enough to confirm their identity and have been involved in helping set up bank transfers — they are 100% legitimate, as well as having been vetted by el-shab-hussein and featured in a video by YouTuber Ro Ramdin.

With the uncertain status of the border and evacuations, we MUST make sure they’re ready to leave Gaza as SOON AS POSSIBLE. Every minute spent is another minute they could be murdered by the IOF.

You can also donate by entering my jewelry raffle, which helps support them and 3 other families in need.

I’m setting a short goal of €36,000, which would be enough in USD to get them registered and then some for fees and travel coordination.

€27,598/€36,000.

€8,402 NEEDED URGENTLY.

GOFUNDME LINK

Tagging for reach under the cut

@brutaliakhoa @dykesbat @batmanego @bludgeoningbutch @heritageposts @appsa @turian @malcriada @schoolhater @stuckinapril @northgazaupdates2 @sayruq @rhubarbspring @watermotif @determinate-negation

[reidswhre]

A vague request for Spencer x reader!! (only if you want too, obviously.) Maybe some hurt/comfort?? I'm such a sucker for those.

spencer reid x fem!reader

summary: you keep your nightmares and insomnia to yourself till you reach a point where you can’t handle it anymore, it’s great your boyfriend is there for ya.

warnings: nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, low self-esteem due to the lack of sleep, however, it’s hurt and comfort! 🫶🏼

a/n: it's a bit rushed but I'm a little inspired so I did it before my inspiration disappeared, i hope you like it. also english isn’t my first language so let me know any mistakes. as always my request are open feel free to send me yours!

Sleeping is supposed to be something pleasant. It usually reduces stress and improves your mood. It’s the favorite activity of many people—in fact, it used to be yours too.

Until insomnia and nightmares began. At first, they weren't that bad; they scared you a bit, but nothing more. Then they became terrible, making you feel so awful you wanted to throw up, which led to unstoppable insomnia.

You used to sleep maybe 3 hours a day at most, and it was killing you. Not only were you unbearably tired all day, but you also had a mood so bad that even you couldn’t stand yourself. As a result, you started treating people around you poorly, which made you feel awful, but at this point, it was beyond your control.

You hadn’t told anyone either—you didn’t want to worry anyone unnecessarily. It wasn’t needed. You were probably just going through a rough patch. Maybe Mercury was in retrograde.

“Hey.” Spencer’s face greeted you when you opened your apartment door to let him in.

“Hi,” you replied with a small smile.

“I really missed you,” he said as he walked into your apartment, planting a kiss on your forehead.

You smiled. “Really? I missed you too,” you said sincerely. “You were gone for a few days.” Spencer’s job often required him to be away, and you handled it pretty well.

“Yeah, the case was tough,” he explained as he placed some bags in your kitchen. “How’ve you been?”

“Me? Well... good, I guess. Nothing new,” you shrugged.

“Are you sure?” He raised his eyebrows, questioning you.

“Yeah, don’t worry.” You looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

Again, you didn’t feel comfortable telling anyone that you hadn’t been able to sleep properly for weeks. There was no point in saying it.

“What’s in the bags?” You pointed at them, trying to change the subject.

“Oh, I read that green tea increases the body's relaxation capacity and helps with sleep. Plus, the amount of L-theanine is higher than caffeine, so it’s a great option to avoid insomnia,” he explained while taking the tea out of the bags.

“You think I need that? Why would you think that?” you said, your mood shifting a bit.

“What? No, I don’t think you need it. I just thought it’d be good to have to relax a bit. Personally, I’m sleeping fine, but I don’t see any harm in drinking it,” he said, looking at you.

“Well, I’m sleeping great too, so I don’t need it, okay?” There it was again. You had no idea why you were treating him this way—he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“I never said otherwise,” he said, frowning.

“Good.” You looked at the floor, feeling uncomfortable.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay—”

“I’m perfectly fine,” you interrupted him and walked out of the kitchen.

You entered the bathroom in your room and splashed some water on your face, hoping it would refresh you. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You were a bit pale, with dark circles under your eyes that you hadn’t had in years, and your lips were dry. You felt terrible—like a completely different person.

But you decided that if you stayed there any longer, Spencer would come looking for you, and you’d have to give explanations you weren’t willing to share.

When you got back to the living room, you saw him sitting on the couch with his cup of tea and another cup next to him that was probably cold by now.

And you felt horrible.

Horrible wasn’t even enough to describe it.

He had bought and made tea just to help you relax a bit, even without knowing that this was the very thing driving you crazy.

And you had responded terribly.

“Spencer, I—” You tried to start.

“I think it’s better if we just go to bed, don’t you? It’s been a long day,” he said, getting up from the couch.

“Uhh... yeah, sure,” you whispered, staring at the floor.

Your heart was racing, sweat was running down your forehead and neck, and your head was spinning as you tried to push away the dreams that had been tormenting you.

“Hey,” you heard a voice in the distance. “Hey, listen to me, love, hey,” the voice repeated in your head.

“Hey!”

You suddenly sat up in bed, completely disoriented.

“Hey, you’re okay, right? You’re here with me,” Spencer said, looking at you while placing his hand on your knee. But you couldn’t really hear him. Your head was ringing so loudly it felt like it was going to explode.

“Sweetheart?” Spencer stroked your cheek, concerned.

Suddenly, you regained a bit of awareness. You looked at him and his worried face, then around the room. The clock read 12:38 AM. Your hands were sweating, and you were cold.

All of a sudden, everything you’d been carrying for weeks collapsed. It just fell apart, and you started crying like you hadn’t in a long time.

“Oh my God,” Spencer whispered as he wrapped you in his arms, holding you tightly.

“I’m so tired,” you sobbed into his neck.

“What’s going on, love? I need you to tell me, okay? So I can help you,” he whispered in your ear, his voice soft.

“I haven’t been able to sleep for a few weeks now,” you mumbled against him. “I have insomnia and lots of nightmares. I can’t take it anymore.”

“Why didn’t you tell me anything?” he asked, gently cupping your face in his hands.

“I—I don’t know,” you sobbed. “I didn’t want to bother you, and I didn’t want to seem weak, I—” You stumbled over your words.

“Don’t say that. You could never bother me, especially not with something this important. It’s serious, and I don’t think you’re taking it seriously enough,” he said, looking at you with his kind brown eyes, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“I thought I was just having a few bad days, I don’t know—” you tried to explain through your tears.

“It’s okay, we can work through this. Tomorrow, we can see your therapist and check on how you’re doing, alright?” he said, kissing your forehead.

You nodded without saying anything, feeling safe.

“Let’s get that tea, yeah? I’m sure it’ll calm you down a bit—unless you don’t want it now either, hmm?” he teased you a little.

You let out a small laugh. “I want it.”

“Good, because I was going to make you drink it anyway,” he laughed with you.

“Hey!” you frowned.

“Don’t give me that face,” he said, kissing your furrowed brow.

“Thank you,” you said genuinely.

“For what? For making you drink tea?” he laughed.

“No, silly. For helping me, even though I didn’t treat you very well tonight,” you said, looking at the floor.

“Are you kidding? Of course, I’ll help you. It’s the least I can do. I love you, okay?”

“I love you too,” you said, giving him a small kiss on the lips.

You were probably going to sleep well tonight.

[ranticore]

I wanted to keep drawing some pern dragon stuff because I'm now writing a full AU set in weyr but I didn't want to put this stuff on my main blog or patreon due to it being basically for my own reference, though i felt others would like it too! so here is My Take On Dragon Wings By Type...

It's no secret I love drawing bird wings and prefer them a lot over traditional dragon wings. Growing up, I read the pern books featuring cover art of dragonfly-like wings with lots of little translucent panels, which I always loved. So I thought I'd try to nail down some wing shapes & structures by blending those two things i like together. I am aware dragons fly by telekinesis but I prefer a more realistic type of creature design so I will be choosing to ignore that fact. I do not care about strict canon compliance but I do like to keep some of that framework there as well, for fun.

The wing is made up of three main sails, as well as a propatagium sail (in front of the elbow). They are relatively polymorphic and can expand or contract to an extent to change the shape of the wing in response to flight demands, like the wing of an airliner. The trailing edge can expand and the slots between the spars of the 1st wingsail can deepen or become shallower (where those are a feature). The main structural matrix is opaque, while the membranous 'sails' are translucent and let light through like stained glass. These are a bilayer of membrane with air sandwiched between, which forms part of the air sac & respiratory system.

It makes sense for the original engineers of dragons to diversify dragon wing types by colour so that when fighting Thread, there's a dragon for every conceivable aerial job.

[individual descriptions under the cut]

Queens have the longest wings, though the largest bronzes can rival them for surface area. Gold wings are high endurance - a queen can fly further than any other dragon in active level flight, leaving even the swiftest bronzes behind if they can't muster up the energy reserves to catch her. She is an effective flier at all elevations and can pass very low over terrain without issue as well; she is an expert at taking advantage of the ground effect, where extra lift is generated within one half of a wingspan above land. This way, she can pass low below the main wings fighting Thread to catch any stragglers without expending too much energy. However, she is not very agile and may need a bit of a run-up or cliff-edge to get airborne.

Bronzes are suited for command positions during Threadfall, rising highest and maintaining that altitude effortlessly by soaring on thermals. From this vantage point they can easily survey the wings of riders below and make tactical decisions to direct the tide of battle. They have the size and stamina to chase queens, but might find it difficult to keep up on the flat, so they continually select for fitter hatchlings as only the best manage to mate. It takes a very clever and agile bronze to catch a green, if they are so inclined.

Browns are swift, highly agile, and the fastest vertical fliers, ideal for diving through the Thread mass from top to bottom while the other types pass horizontally. During earlier Passes, browns were capable of using their speed to catch queens, but as queen & bronze endurance gradually increased, browns struggle to keep up if they haven't managed to immediately catch their mate in the starting scrum, which is unlikely due to the bulkier bronze dragons being able to shove the browns aside.

Blues are fast on the flat and nicely manoeuvrable, with enough endurance to last a full Threadfall. Good all-rounders with a characteristic vertical take-off, they work best in the horizontal plane in battle but really they can do a little bit of everything. They often beat browns to catch greens, being very precise in flight and almost as manoeuvrable as their green mates.

Greens make up for their low stamina with their extreme manoeuvrability. Their short and elliptical wings let them turn on a dime, hover, and even fly backwards if they are sufficiently skilled. They have the fastest wingbeats, flying with a distinct thrumming sound. Of all the types they are least likely to be hit by a stray Thread, but they tire easily on the flat and have no soaring ability at all, often tapping out midway through battle in favour of replacements. In battle, greens excel at catching odd and skewed clumps of Thread that don't fall as predicted, or ones that are missed by the other riders. Green mating flights are a whole different beast to gold mating flights, where extreme aerial acrobatics are favoured instead of endurance and altitude, and these flights may be over within seconds. You need to be able to withstand a Lot of G-force to be a green rider.

[rayaverra]

Jealousy Unleashed // Luke Castellan

pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader

genre: angst

request: Hi, could you do Luke castellan x fem reader where the reader makes Luke jealous? Thank you!

summary: you and Luke had an argument, and now you try to break his silent treatment by making him jealous.

warnings: probably language

wc: 1k

notes: I had many ideas of how to approach this, but I decided to make it a bit angst. hope you like it :)

english is not my first language, so there may be mistakes.

・❥・༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶・❥・

You and Luke were a beautiful couple, but just like all couples, there was problem in paradise. You didn't argue a lot, but when you did, oh boy! You were both too stubborn and, above all, too proud to admit your wrongs. This time was no different. After a stupid argument (that neither of you remember the cause of because it probably was something stupid), Luke was giving you the silent treatment. He had done this before, but he never lasted longer than a few hours because neither of you could go very long without talking to the other. But this one had been going on for almost two days, and you wouldn't let it pass.

You were at the bonfire sing-along with the Apollo cabin, blatantly talking and laughing with anyone who wasn't Luke. When he attempted to get your attention from across the bonfire, you glanced at him, then turned back around to continue your conversation with Charles.

Luke crossed his arms, gritting his teeth. "Stay calm," he thought to himself. "She's just talking to Beckendorf. He's like four years younger than her."

Just when he started to cool off, you stood up from your seat. He watched as you walked your way to Nick, a boy from the Athena cabin, closer to your age. His blood started to heat up.

In all honesty, you were just talking to him to piss Luke off. It was an awful thing to do—you recognized that—but maybe he needed to suffer a little before you forgave him. Plus, maybe this would make him break his silence and actually talk to you instead of glaring like a little kid from across the room. If Luke wanted to hold a grudge, you would too, and you knew he wouldn't apologize unless you took action.

And of course, you refused to be the one to apologize first.

The Stolls walked over to Luke, picking up immediately on their brother's increasing anger. Connor poked Luke's arm and almost jumped back when Luke gave him a look of murderous rage. "What do you want?" Luke snapped, looking over Travis' shoulder as you leaned toward Nick a bit more. "I'm a little busy, as you can see."

"Totally!" said Travis, rolling his eyes.

"Maybe you should just apologize to her instead of glaring at the back of her head while she talks to Nick." Connor said, glancing over his shoulder at you.

"Who isn't exactly ugly, by the way." Added Travis, reminding Luke how most of the girls at camp consider him attractive.

"You don't know her like I do, so you wouldn't understand. Now go do... whatever you were doing, I told you I'm busy." Luke waved them away with his hands and returned to his previous activity of glaring at his girlfriend, arms crossed, and a childish pout on his lips.

"Yeah, busy pretending you don't care about your girlfriend while pretty boy over there is making openly flirtatious comments towards her." Connor nudged him.

"If I were you, I would apologize now, before she and Nick get even cozier over there," Travis pointed towards you and Nick, who were sitting incredibly close. He had one hand twirling a stand of your hair, the other resting close to your knee.

Luke was furious; in a cartoon world, he would've turned red, and steam would've come out of his ears. He quickly made his way over there before you could even blink, forcing himself in between you both and sitting down right there. He leaned into you, wrapping an arm around your waist, before turning his head toward Nick and raising his eyebrows.

"That looked like a nice conversation, mind if I join you?"

"I don't think it would make much of a difference if I said no," Nick said. The smile he had on his face while he was talking to you had vanished.

Luke smirked, shaking his head. "Nope," he replied, taking your hand in his. You didn't protest; you knew this was his way of saying he was sorry and that the real apology would actually come out soon enough, that is, when Nick stood up and left. Except, Nick stayed in his seat, narrowing his eyes.

"You're not a very good boyfriend, are you, Castellan?" Nick fired, and, oh gods, you could almost see a vein flickering in Luke's forehead. "Since when do you control who your girlfriend talks to?"

Luke pulled away from you, clenching his jaw. His fists tightened, and his eyes narrowed with fury. "Watch your words, Anderson. You're treading on thin ice." He warned, his voice low and dangerous.

You leaned forward, placing one hand on his shoulder and using your other one to relax his tight fist. "Hey, cool it down," you said softly. "This isn't the time for a clash."

Luke visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping as he gave you a small smile, grabbing your hand tightly.

Nick stood up, a smirk on his face. "Well, that's adorable. A girlfriend having to calm her boyfriend down from murderous fits of rage. How cute."

You held Luke's hand tighter, and his previous anger was replaced with a smirk of his own. "Think whatever you want, Nick, but at the end of the day, there's one thing I get to do, and you don't," he said in a triumphant voice.

"And what's that?" Nick asked with the minimum interest.

"Kiss my incredibly beautiful girlfriend." Luke said, tangling his hands in your hair and pulling you towards him, pressing his soft lips to yours. His inner self did a victory dance when you deepened the kiss, your own hands moving to his cheeks.

"You're such an asshole sometimes," you told him when you pulled away. It wasn't a lie; even Luke himself knew it. But he didn't really care, and neither did you.

He had gotten Nick to walk away and had gotten you to forgive him, all in one shot. Plus, he made out with you, which was always a bonus.

[wip]

AH ANOTHER ONE, POST LIMITS!!!!!

I don't know why we're still only using 250 posts per day across all blogs. I hit this SO often and it's extremely frustrating. Are there plans to raise this???? Double it to 500?? Make it 250 PER BLOG at least???

Something that isn't just roughly ten posts an hour, which can go by extremely fast when you're trying to support artists and various crowdfunding efforts. There's not even a way to increase post limit with an ad free subscription, this seems like something that doesn't need to stay the way it is and i feel like we should talk about this and figure out a better number.

I get how limits help fight back against spam, but last week i kept hitting post limit early in the day because the counter resets at 9pm for me - so all of my late night posts + everything that piled up in the queue since i was blocked all day before 9pm gives me significantly less room to work with the next day. I am not spam, i am a human being, and doing regular organic activity is getting me driven off the site!!! the way this feels is like do you want us on here or not lol?? why are we being punished for finding it engaging, I do not think 250 is a reasonable limit.

250posts/24hrs is 10.4 posts an hour, and is all you have to work with regardless of how many other side blogs you maintain. There's not even a way to see how many posts you have left for the day, I think post limit needs addressing!!!! or at least some kind of acknowledgement to start!! 250 forever just does not make sense

Answer: Hi there, @cinna-bunnie!

A little tease for y’all, because we just can’t help it—we hear you loud and clear. We are working on this, and we think you should stay tuned.

👀

You’ll know more soon, and we like to think you might like what you see. Have a great day, and keep the questions coming, folks.

[doberbutts]

I was typing a big long thing about the changes I've experienced in a year on testosterone and how it's affected me and all that and then tumblr ate it and I really don't feel like retyping that whole thing but I am kinda salty about it so tldr:

Starting testosterone has been the best thing for my health that I've done. Ever. Better than getting a service dog. Better than restructuring my life to cater to my disabilities. Better than any procedure or medication or otherwise that I've tried. Simply rubbing a pack of gel on my arm once a day has done more for me than anything else.

When I went to my endo to start T, I went with a suspicion that I am intersex. She confirmed it via blood test and told me that with my variation I could try two different things: estrogen to control my high levels of natural androgens, or testosterone to lower my estrogen further and make it stop arguing with my androgens about whether I'm supposed to be a boy or a girl, as it's that argument that was causing a significant portion of my health problems. Estrogen has been tried in the past and only made things worse. She told me it was my choice, and only I could choose my path forward, as I knew my body the best.

When TERFs have a fit about gender affirming care, they usually leave out people like me, or they brush my story aside by saying that I'm just an anomaly, or they claim for me and my demographic that we don't want to be part of this discussion. But I don't fit their definition of a woman- I have a testicle, and my natural testosterone was within normal range on the low end for a cisgender, perisex man, and enough male sexual partners have commented on what's in my pants to tell me that it's far from the picturesque womanly pussy, especially considering I can- and have- use it to penetrate with the help of devices designed for cis men who are a little lacking in length.

When TERFs have a fit about gender affirming care, they scaremonger about side effects and changes. But, I was already hairy. I was already growing facial hair. I already had atrophied- and by 30 to the point that it's not really possible to fix without significant medical intervention. I was already infertile. I already had an adam's apple and a deep voice. I already had belly fat and blood pressure problems. My menstrual cycle was already hellish and had interfered with my school and work schedules. A popped ovarian cyst sent me to the ER.

I'd tried no treatment. I'd tried estrogen-based solutions. These not only did not work but actively made things worse. I was fainting at school. I was calling out of work. I couldn't drive without my service dog. I couldn't go out and have fun with my friends. I spent days at a time laying in bed in too much pain to move.

TERFs say, gender affirming care turns you into a forever patient.

I already was one of those. I almost died when I was a baby strictly because of lack of access to care that accepts children who are born who are both and also neither from the womb, before anyone has a chance to develop a personality or understand the difference between a boy and a girl.

Testosterone has turned me into a "once every 3 months" patient instead of a "twice a month minimum" patient. I pay less than $15/month for my prescription and it's mailed to my house in three-month increments. Stopping my wildly irregular and incredibly painful menstrual cycle has increased my quality of life so much. My body doesn't ache for no reason anymore. I don't faint anymore. I can go out and do things and not be punished for it for days on end by fevers and chills and vertigo.

Don't let a handful of transphobic assholes scare you. If this is your way forward, then live your life to its fullest.

My only regret is that I didn't have the chance to do this sooner.

[junipers-archive]

this is about to be super self indulgent but could you by any chance do a spencer reid x barista!reader maybe he keeps going back to the same cafe or something and memorizes like little facts about coffee or something lol i love your writing so much!!

aww this is such a cute idea!! yes of course :)

Spencer x gn!barrista!reader (FLUFF)

Word count: 540

Seven-thirty every morning. Not seven twenty-nine, not seven thirty-one, but seven-thirty on the dot. Just like clockwork does the tall, handsome and quite frankly, adorable man come to order his tall black coffee.

You try not bounce on the balls of your feet as he walks in. He's wearing a blue sweater today, one that you're sure would look great on the floor of your apartment.

There's no line. There rarely is when he shows up, its like he times his arrival to coincide with the lulls in activity at the small shop. Which unbeknownst to you, he in fact does.

"Good morning!" your cheery tone fills the empty space, louder than needed which would embarrass you any other time but only makes you smile harder when you make eye contact with him.

"Good morning Y/n, how are you today?" His glasses lift against his soft cheeks as he smiles back at you.

"Uh-good! I'm good, and you Spencer?" Saying his name makes you blush and you immediately duck your head to hide your flushed face. Its like your body has a physical reaction every time you interact with him.

His grin only widens seeing the reaction he pulls from you, desperately wanting to recreate it again. "I'm great thanks for asking! Just one black coff-" he cuts himself off as you hand him his order with a scrunch of your nose that has him weak in the knees.

"Sorry, I hope its not creepy- its just you come in here so often that-"

He cuts you off this time on your impending tangent, "No! Don't worry about it th-thank you! I love my black coffee!" This time its him thats a bit too loud.

The awkward silence that follows as you both stare at each other dumbfounded by the others obvious embarrassment may be the thing that keeps you up years from now.

Its only with a quick breath that Spencer recovers the conversation,"Did you know that coffee is believed to be discovered by an Ethiopian goat herder?" Its not completely true, but its all he could find online about the topic that was remotely interesting on his drive here.

Your wide smile in an attempt to keep a laugh at bay is what will keep him up years from now. "No, I didn't know that Spence. Did you know that coffee is believed to increase lifespan?"

The way the blood rushes to his cheeks should be embarrassing but it only fuels his next comment as he sets the money due on the counter, "Well then I guess I'll just have to keep drinking coffee..."

You catch on easily and flirt back with a shy smirk, "I guess so, and since I give you the coffee..."

He starts to make his leave but looks back with a smile that makes your heart soar, "Then I guess I'll just have to keep coming back..."

The sound of the door closing has your smile dropping a tad, but as you look down you find a crumpled piece of paper by the bills he left, it lifts once more. Because inscribed on the small note is yet another fact about coffee. And this one has a phone number written directly underneath.