#boyfriend shenanigans

[madphantom]

Honestly one of the funniest things about my beloved is that he is a cisgender heterosexual man, but everyone constantly assumes that he has to be some flavour of queer. It's probably a combination of him being unusually reflected about patriarchal oppression, having the kind of pretty eyes that make you think he's wearing make-up and having me, who looks like a walking pride flag, as a partner, but a total list of things people said includes:

"He's not queer? Not even a little bit?"

"Wait, he's not asexual?"

"And I asked him....? Him? Is that correct?"

"What are your partner's pronouns?"

"I thought he was bisexual"

"Your....... partner? I think?"

And my personal favourite case of him being mistaken for something he's not:

"That's not a Turkish name" "Yeah I'm not Turkish" "WHAT"

[pluto-rainstorm]

Ya'know that one tiktok trend "do you think you would've dated me when you were in high-school?" or "younger" or something like that, but think about it with BuckTommy

Buck would post it thinking it's hilarious, it would be a cute photo of them now with the caption and then you swipe to a picture of Tommy looking like this muscular army lad, with stubble, looking very mature...

And then you swipe again to a picture of a baby faced Buck, maybe he has a few pimples, he's a lot shorter and has lighter blonde, shaggy hair and he's holding a skateboard

He'd show Tommy and he would just stare at it like "oh my god..."

[runninriot]

...✍️

When he comes home, Steve is exhausted. The rest of the shooting, the official shooting, went well but he can feel every part of his body already aching from being overused. It’s going to be hell tomorrow.

Steve enters the living room where Eddie greets him with a smile before he presses a finger to his lips, pointing at a curled up Robin lying next to him on the couch taking a nap.

Slowly, Eddie moves to stand up from the sofa and tiptoes over to where Steve is still standing in the door frame.

   “Hey, baby.”

They share a quick kiss before Eddie takes Steve’s hand and quietly drags him into his bedroom.

   “How was your shooting? Hope it was worth your time and the tragic loss of your precious chest hair,” Eddie laughs.

For the past two and a half days he didn’t waste any opportunity to remind Steve of his crime.

Steve scoffs and bites his bottom lip not to spill the secret he’ll have to keep to himself for a few more days. Until he can finally show Eddie the result of what he’s been up to behind his back.

   “Yeah it was alright, I think we got what we wanted. The pictures turned out great.”

    Better than great.

   “You hungry? Robs and I had sandwiches for lunch. I could make you one if you want?”

Steve leans in to steal another kiss from Eddie.

   “Mhm. I’d love that. I can’t feel my arms and legs anymore.”

   “Oh, my poor baby. I’m sure I can help you  with that later. Give you a nice massage.”

Eddie lets his teeth graze the sharp edge of Steve’s jaw, drags them further, nibbling at the soft flesh of his earlobe. It makes Steve shiver and melt into the arms that are wrapped around his shoulders, hands soothingly rubbing up and down his back.

   “Ah, god, I’d like that. Your big, strong hands on my body, your thumbs pressing into my sore muscles. Fuck. I think I‘ll skip the sandwich if-“

   “Oh no, baby doll. You’re gonna be a good boy and let me feed you before I’ll take care of the rest of you.”

And how could Steve say no to that?

Still, he devours the sandwich in record time, smiles innocently at Eddie who laughs when Steve presents him his empty plate.

   “Good boy. Now, have a big glass of water while I’ll get the spa area ready,” Eddie winks and wanders off back into the bedroom.

Steve gulps down his drink so fast some of it goes down the wrong pipe, causing him to cough loudly. That, unfortunately wakes up Robin, who stalks sleepily out of the living room and into the kitchen.

   “Oh, you’re back. How’d it go? Where’s Eddie?”

   “I’ll tell you about the shooting later. Or you can just ask your talented girlfriend whom you overshare any and all things with anyway,” Steve laughs, “And, Eddie’s waiting for me in the bedroom, sooo-“

Robin’s eyes go wide in an instant.

  “Ugh, really? Come on! While I’m home?? Didn’t I have to hear enough grunting coming out of your bedroom to scar me for a lifetime?” She rolls her eyes but the grin on her face tells Steve she’s only joking and not really offended.

   “Shut up! He’s just gonna give me a massage because my arms and legs hurt like shit. We’ll be back out before you know and then we can watch a movie together or something.”

   “Yeah right, ‘just a massage’. Tell you what, I’m gonna go for a walk. And maybe stop by the grocery store since it’s my turn to do the shopping anyway. We’re having pasta tonight. You’re cooking. As compensation for having to flee my own home because of my sex-addicted friends. You have one hour.”

With that she turns heel, gets a bag and her coat and is out of the door, leaving Steve too stunned to react other than burst out laughing so loud it alarms Eddie in the other room.

   “Babe? What’s taking you so long? Come on, we ain’t got all day!”

    Yeah, we got an hour.

[paranoid-radio]

true love is watching destiel edits with your boyfriend in a restaurant during one his family's events

[jvnobvg]

me: sad and trying to find a job, sending weird job listings to boyfriend

boyfriend: teehee we use the same job searching website

me, mood instantly lifted: teehee boyfriends,,,

[thetallestalchemist]

Sometimes I worry love is fake but also I just said into the call, unprompted, to my amazing boyfriend,

"I wish I had an evil little homunculus to scratch my back for me."

To which he immediately responded,

"I could be your evil little homunculus."

[luxurystark-jackson]

i like how the second his angel boyfriend is back from the dead dean immediately makes him dress up in fetish wear. okay freak

[madphantom]

Beloved dropped earth-shattering words of wisdom again when I, in full panic mode, went "what if I'm annoying??" and he replied "you are. and difficult to deal with. and a pain in the ass. because everyone is. and it's still worth it for me to deal with you because otherwise I wouldn't do it. okay??" like hello. Hello???!

[canisalbus]

I fear snoutchete

.

[pipedreame]

this post but it’s Tim and Danny

Tim came across a weird symbol during a case and he’s run into a dead end with it. He’s taken to doodling it as he thinks and one night it gets particularly bad and he’s probably drawn it like a hundred times as he mentally goes over all the details of whatever case he’s working and then BAM there’s a glowing green (Lazarus Pit green, oh shit) swirling vortex and someone, no, something, is crawling out of it and —

“Okay, enough! I’m here!! What the FUCK do you want?”

It’s a… teenager? With glowing green eyes and white hair and he’s… floating? and super hot What the fuck.

Tim: What the fuck.

Danny: No that’s my line. What the fuck. Do you want?

Tim: Uhhh —

Danny, looking around: Wait holy shit is this the Batcave!??

[potato-lord-but-not]

ok humor me here- chnt au where mostly everything is the same except it takes place in the magnus archives universe ?? and yk I’m open to community speculation and yall adding on to this because I need more opinions !!!! unhinged ramblings under read more :^)

ok ok so camp here & there is a site that’s run by The Spiral, everything outside of that is practically normal, but the camp makes everyone believe that the events that go on here are actually not that weird. It could also be a place where the bridge between the fear entities and earth is thin, so that’s why there’s a lot of activity from several different entities.

At least once a counselor mentioned “why do we keep working here every year?” And Soren was never actually fired, which just adds fuel to the fire tbh.

Most of the counselors there are just marked by the spiral, but others are marked by different entities. Some might not be full on avatars yet, but still posses supernatural qualities (like Oliver Banks until his death). Rowan is an Eye avatar, and although it’s made a point that the eye can’t really see the future, that just makes Rowan’s situation that much more worrying. Soren, ofc, is an avatar of The End. Self explanatory. Jedidiah mighhhttt be Web aligned, or even The Lonely (now that I think about it he most definitely is the lonely in someway) but I’m not entirely sure what to do with him yet. Adam is a Flesh avatar, and maybe one of the only ones who actually knows he’s an avatar (besides maybe Soren and Lucille). Elijah seems like an End avatar, with him being overly obsessed with making sure Sydney stays asleep for the greater good of humanity. His trying to sacrifice Sydney was an attempted End ritual, and would’ve most likely failed w/o intervention bc Sydney hasn’t been marked by all the fears yet.

Sydney is this au’s Jon, he’s being led into the position of the antichrist by Lucille, who is The spiral avatar. So far Sydney has been marked by the spiral (working at chnt), the end (Soren, the gravediggress, and the mold), the hunt (… the hunt), the flesh (Adam), the corruption (the hive incident), the eye (the bonfire, Rowan), the lonely or the web depending of which Jed aligns with more, andddd I’m sure others that are slipping my mind rn.

Jed (more than likely on accident) cemented Sydney as an Avatar after he killed and reanimated him, and Sydney is able to stay fit at the camp bc he feeds off the unhinged Spiral energy it creates. I also think Sydney was marked by The End at an early age, and that’s why he was chosen to be the sacrifice by Elijah (even if he doesn’t realize it) and why he’s very into death and decay.

The Magnus Institute DOES exist in this au, and they (Jon n the gang) find out about this camp due to a tired looking young man who convinced his slightly unhinged boyfriend to make a statement with him about the strange place they work at over the summer (ps Juniper is Very spiral aligned, more so than the rest of them, thinks that the camp is actually pretty normal and doesn’t know what Rowan is going on about, and seems to live in a place that Jon later finds out doesn’t exist at all)

ummmm I think that’s it for now, let me know if you have anything to add or silly thoughts about it ??

[pixelga1axy]

That first scene with the Mewo-Spider happened just like that, I am not exaggerating. I have arachnophobia as well, which was hilarious once we entered Pyrefly Forest. @tuusenarts got my ass

Masterpost

[gothamite-rambler]

Selina: So, he takes off his shirt, and I get goosebumps. We've had sex way too many times to count, yet every time I see that body, I—

Ivy: This is something you should write in a diary or discuss with a therapist. Harley isn't here, you know.

Minerva (Cheetah): Oh, come on, Ivy! Let her talk. I'm hanging onto every word, love.

Ivy: Seriously? Why do you want to hear this?

Minerva: Because I live with the real-life spicy romance, and I'm genuinely happy for her.

Selina: Thanks, Minerva. Now, where was I?

Minerva: You were talking about the goosebumps, which I totally get. Quick question, though—what's his cucumber look like?

Selina: I’m so glad you asked!

Ivy groaned, slamming her head onto the table as Selina and Minerva continued to chatter away.

[yugioh-kitty123]

“kaiba my friends are getting kidnapped as we speak we can Fuc- later I mean duel later’’

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 133

"YENNEFER!" Jaskier screams, banging his fist on the door. "Yennefer, Please! I need help!" The door opens and shows a very disgruntled sorceress, clearly having just woken up. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" "Geralt got cursed on a hunt!" "Of course he did.. What happened?" "WATCH OUT, GERALT!" "Jaskier, get back!" The witcher hisses. The sorcerer/creature/being??? they were- Well, Geralt was fighting. Then with a chant in a dead language and a wiggle of their fingers, a blast of magic was being shot at Jaskier, presumably for making a scene. Geralt had shoved Jaskier out of the way, and the spell hit Geralt in the chest. His veins glowed for a moment before with a zap, he transformed. "And where is he now?" Yennefer asks. "He's right here!" And Jaskier gestured to a rabbit in his arms. A rabbit with yellow, slitted eyes.

[madphantom]

I'm not sure either of us knows how we landed in this situation