#i want to spend that moment w them both and to hear the crickets in the background the sounds of wind and the chill it leaves on your skin

[1980ssunflower]

god im so deeply and truly in love

[kamotoshi]

safe [chōsō x reader]

pairing: chōsō x fem sorcerer! reader

genre: fluff with (seriously faint) hints of angst

warning(s): contains manga spoilers for chapter 62!

word count: 2.3k

overview: after spending many years as a sorcerer, you’ve believed certain things to be true. but a chance meeting with a curse that’s developed into a deeper relationship changes your perspective.

notes: want some listening music? here are two songs that helped me write this: summer fling by kang + effervescent by toonorth

A quiet, but gasping breath fills your lungs with a pocket of cold air when you wake from a dead sleep with a start. Instinctively, your hand flies in front of you, directed towards the doorway to obliterate whatever intruder you automatically assume has roused you from your deep slumber. However, much to your surprise, you’re completely alone. Rubbing your eyes, you turn your head towards the alarm clock on your bedside table to check the hour.

Ah, it’s that time again.

With a gentle sigh, you slide out from beneath the warm covers, causing your skin to break out in a wave of goosebumps at the chill in your room that you throw on a sweater and pants to combat before heading to the kitchen of your small but cozy living quarters. Sleep refuses to relinquish its grip, and you ungracefully bump into a few surfaces in the process of preparing two, hot cups of tea and finding a blanket to drape around your shoulders.

The rush of crisp air that greets you when you finally make your way outside of your abode livens you up a bit, though, and you wrap your arms around yourself to retain as much warmth as you can. Following the stone path decorated with glowing lanterns brings you to the front gates of your school—a place you know to visit whenever you wake up with such a start in the dead of the night. The drinks in your hands radiate heat that staves off the bite of the cold as another gust of wind howls past you.

In the darkness of the night, only lit ever so faintly by the twinkling stars in the sky and the waning moon, your eyes search for the visitor who seems to have fallen into a habit of making their presence known around the same time on every odd evening. Sure enough, the thumping of heavy boots against the stone walkway winding near and through Jujutsu High’s campus draws your attention to a tall figure wandering around nearby. The baggy cream clothes draped over his body beneath a vest the hue of blood instantly give away his identity, along with the dark, spiked hair gathered neatly atop both halves of his head.

Before his name can leave your mouth, he turns around to face you, as if he senses your presence the same way you sense his on the nights that he chooses to visit. It’s almost as if he uses some unseen force to disturb you from your sleep so he can steal away anywhere from a few minutes to hours of your time. Of course, this possibility would seem at least the slightest bit insane to an average person, but, for you—a jujutsu sorcerer—it cannot be discounted for the sole reason of what your visitor is: a special grade curse.

Wordlessly, the man you’ve come to know as Chōsō after a twisted event that led to many more spontaneous encounters such as this approaches you. His dark gaze skims over your figure before settling on your own, making your heart thud gently in your chest. Placing his hands in his pockets, he glances at the drinks you’re holding and asks, “Will you come on a walk with me?”

As a sorcerer, it should be second nature to meet the request of a cursed spirit with a no followed by a prompt exorcism. However, in all the times that he’d come to visit, he hadn’t appeared to do so out of ill will or inclination to get some sort of revenge. He’d always sat on the outskirts of the campus or walked around the lush forest surrounding it with you, making as much or as little conversation as you’d liked. In spite of how powerful you knew he was and the nature of his being, you didn’t feel particularly put off by him. In fact, you often found yourself thinking about him and when he’d stop by next more than you probably should.

Slowly, you nod, passing him one of your mugs so the two of you can be on your way. “Thanks.”

The sky above is surprisingly clear, given the school’s location in Tokyo, aside from a few, lingering clouds that float past the moon on their way around the part of the world you call home. It’s oddly peaceful considering your company for the evening. But you’d never really felt uneasy in his presence to begin with. And you certainly don’t feel threatened now, with the way he only seems focused on trying not to spill any of the tea you’d so kindly prepared for him as the two of you traverse a dirt path near the school’s grounds.

It's also a bit ironic, you think, that the route you seem to have fallen into the habit of taking leads you near one of the many, small shrines—gems hidden amongst the forest’s depths—but he appears to have just as much of an affinity to the location since he never suggests going elsewhere.

Beneath the gentle, pale glow from above filtered through leafy branches extending over you, Chōsō’s features take on a soft, almost peaceful appearance. He seems to bask in the symphony of crickets singing as he takes a deep breath and sits down on the grassy hill directly beside you. His dark eyes dipping down to the lip of the mug in his hands before shifting over to meet yours catches you off-guard since you hadn’t realized you’d been watching him so attentively.

“Hmm?” he wonders and takes another sip of his tea. His voice and your own pounding heartbeat are the only things you can hear above the sea of noise.

Inquisitively, you ask him a question you’re sure he’s used to hearing: “Why do you keep coming here?”

He sighs and glances at the grass beneath the two of you before answering, “I get overwhelmed.”

“Overwhelmed?” you echo.

His head bobs in a slow nod as he tilts it up towards the sky once more, making his dark eyes twinkle in spite of the hint of sadness that seems to be lingering behind his gaze. “I’m always expected to do things. To pay the price of being granted my life here. And sometimes, all I wanna do is just sit and look at the sky.” There’s a small, but undeniable ache of empathy in your chest as you allow your eyes to flit over every feature of his face, searching for the words he’s not saying. But with his straightforward, unabashedly honest manner of speaking, it’s unlikely for him to leave you wondering.

After taking a drink to fight off the chilliness, another question leaves your lips. “You could go anywhere to cloud watch or stargaze, though. Why come all the way here?”

“I want to.”

Your fingers tap against the ceramic of your mug. “But being here puts you in a lot of danger. Why would you want to go somewhere like this to escape?”

Without a hint of hesitation, his dark eyes find your own once more as he states, “Because you’re here.” A moment of silence passes between the two of you filled with the ceaseless chirps of crickets during which you attempt to mask any effects of your racing heart and the heat crawling up your neck at his confession. However, the shock that strikes you like lightning must be written on your face, since his eyebrows furrow slightly with confusion at your reaction, and he adds, “I thought I made it clear I come here to spend time with you.”

For a few seconds, your lips make quivering, unsuccessful attempts at forming words your vocal cords won’t allow you to voice before you direct your attention to the mug in your hands filled with tea, instead, and try to regain your composure enough to speak. “W-Well, I knew that, but why?” is all you can inquire with a quiet murmur.

His chest rises and falls in a deep, shuddering breath as a cool gust of wind whistles through the trees. At first, you wonder, with the slight glossiness to his eyes and his sudden inability to meet your gaze, if his emotions are the source of the tremors you notice in his jaw. However, the realization that he’s cold soon reaches you at the sight of his arms folding across his chest. Wordlessly and without thinking, you close the little distance between your bodies and drape part of your blanket around his broad shoulders.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, uncrossing his arms so one of his hands can hold the side of the blanket you’ve given him while the other plants itself on the grass behind you. The unexpected warmth radiating from him that seems to engulf you in the tight space you’re now sharing makes it hard to resist the temptation of resting your head on his shoulder.

“I miss my brothers,” is the gently spoken truth that leaves his lips, “I wanted to give them a better life. My failure to fulfill my role as their older brother is something that weighs heavily on me, even though I know they’d tell me they forgave me if I had been there in their final moments.”

Following his moment of vulnerability, the two of you find enough courage to make eye contact, and you struggle not to lose yourself in the seemingly endless depths of his midnight-colored irises. With your faces mere inches away, you’re granted a closer look at him than you’ve ever had before, and it seems, from the way he’s watching you so intently, that you’re not the only one enjoying the unexpected intimacy of the moment.

The muscles in his neck tense with a thick swallow before he continues, “But when I’m here with you, I feel like it’s okay that I’m still alive even though they’ve passed. You don’t look at me with hatred in your eyes or expect anything from me in exchange for my existence. You accept me as I am.” Another gentle breeze dislodges a few strands of hair tucked behind his ear that you naturally move back into place for him before your hand warm from the drink you’d been holding comes to rest against his cheek. “Why?”

His fingertips ghosting along your own neck and cheek leave sparks of electricity on your skin in their wake. But you manage to organize the thoughts threatening to escape your mind at the tenderness of his touch enough to whisper, “When you fought with me instead of against me, I realized that maybe the way I’ve been taught to view the world we live in isn’t entirely accurate. You risked your life to save mine. You defied the rules about the world I once thought were true. And because you showed me that you cared about my life, I want to do the same for you.” A hint of a smile playing at his lips brings a warmth to you that you don’t think even the heaviest of blankets could provide. Taking a deep breath to slow your heart—which had been racing since he’d locked eyes with you—you ask, “Is that why you want to come here?”

“Hmm?”

“Because you care about me?”

He nods earnestly as his thumb skims over your cheekbones, and the adoration glimmering in his eyes like the stars in the night sky above brings your face closer to his. With a timidness you wouldn’t have expected from him, his lips meet with yours in a short, fleeting kiss, as if he’s testing the waters. The way you chase his after they separate, though, serves as a silent confirmation and has him deepening the kisses your lips return to his to share. Given his relatively blunt yet quiet personality, you’re pleasantly surprised by the slow, sensual manner with which his lips move against yours. You’re sure the two of you could remain in this secluded part of the woods forever, under the cover of the shadows masking you from the pale moonlight as you lose yourselves in the moment, but the reality of the situation marks its painful return when you pull away.

“I care about you a lot, and I want to see you more often,” he breathes, “But the last thing I want is to put you in danger. That’s why I’ve been visiting every once in a while and in the middle of the night.”

Moving your hand to his shoulder to rub it gently, you murmur, “I know; I want to see you too, Chōsō.” In an instant, his arms are around you, pulling your body flush against his, and the action fills you with a bittersweet feeling, since this is only the first time you’ve been so close to him, yet you’re unsure of when you’ll get to share more affectionate moments with him like this one. “We’ll find a way to make it work,” is the promise you whisper into his neck while he nestles his face in yours.

After a few, long moments of silence have passed during which your mind exhausts itself by tirelessly attempting to form solutions to an issue you never could’ve imagined you’d have in your lifetime, you start to relinquish your grip around Chōsō. He, however, isn’t ready to do the same, and refuses to budge.

Instead, he answers your curious hum with, “I’ll let you go back to bed soon, but is it okay if I hold you for a little longer?” Even though fatigue is starting to settle in, you consent and wrap your arms around him once more, resting your head against the side of his and nestling your face in his hair as you let your heavy eyelids close. “I’ve just never felt this way before.”

“Which is…?”

Your heart flutters against his chest in cadence with his own against yours at his answer.

“Safe.”

[whaleofatjme1920]

please scenario where him and his s/o have been besties with toby since they met as proxies when they were young and when they meet up later in life they confess 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Parking Lots, and Surrounded By Your Group and His

[Ticci Toby X GN!Reader]

[Warnings: mentions of death? Nothing major though.]

[AN: I changed the prompt,,,, ever so slightly,,,????]

When the crickets sing in the grass and the breeze is warm and gentle, Toby can’t help but be reminded of a simpler time when he would spend his afternoons catching bugs and eating ice cream on the front lawn with you. He can still hear your laughter as the sun begins to slowly sink below the horizon before the fireflies begin to make their appearance.

He used to spend hours on said front lawn catching them with you, listening to you speak and interjecting with his own jokes. The two of you always had such a grand time together, even when his father would angrily call him back into the house.

Toby didn’t know what love was when he was young, but only that he had it. Every little touch you gave him, the smiles and giggles, they were all small micro expressions of some kind of love - as much love as a child could give. Toby didn’t know how much he adored you. Growing up, the two of you had grown closer and closer. He saw you blossom into a young adult alongside him. Well, he didn’t really blossom, but more so choked his way into being a young adult. And you were by his side for it all, even the hardest, darkest days.

When he lost his mother and sister, he called you in a panic, his voice rough like sandpaper and creaking like wood. He was frantic, unable to form proper sentences. You threw out your evening plans and hopped in your car, driving like a mad man over to his house, ready to console him. The air felt still, cold and slightly clammy as you drove nearer and nearer to his house.

There, on the front porch waiting for you, head in his hands and tears drenching his form was Toby, unable to process the world and everything and everyone in it. He looked so broken and downtrodden as he clutched at his clothes tighter, rocking himself and hugging what physical part of him he could.

Your heart tore into pieces as you parked, then rushed out of the vehicle to hold him. “Toby, Toby!” You called out, tears welling in your eyes as you bounded up to the distraught boy.

He furrowed his eyebrows and blinked away more tears, letting out a strained sob as he picked himself up off the rickety wooden porch, meeting you part of the way. He felt the breath leave his lungs as you crashed into his arms, burying your face into his chest.

“I’m so sorry,” you mumbled like a mantra into his chest, letting him hold you tighter and tighter to the point you couldn’t breathe.

Toby didn’t let you go that night.

The last time he saw you was in the parking lot of your high school. Toby had been grieving the loss of his mother and sister, becoming more and more withdrawn into himself. He’d honestly been withdrawing from you as well, and that concerned you more than anything. So, to remedy this, you took matters into your own hands and forced him to meet you in the parking lot after school.

The two of you sat down on the hood of your car, talking about the world and its wonders and the things that are better left unsaid until late, late in the night.

Toby felt so at home in your presence that he was able to block out the voices for just a little longer. He reveled in the sound of your laughter and the presence of your being. He was just… Lighter than air to be with you.

But all good things must come to an end, and unfortunately, your parents desiring you home had brought the time the two of you shared together to an end.

“I love you, Tobes, you know that right?” You murmured as you hugged him for what you didn’t know was your final time.

“O-Of course I d-d-do,” he whispered back, nose burying into your hair. “I l-love you,” he said, tears threatening to spill once more.

The two of you remained in each other’s embrace before you parted from him, and he let you go for the final time.

And Toby felt alone, oh so alone.

So alone that he burnt down the village to feel its warmth.

There’s only been like, three moments in Toby’s life when he’s been surprised. The first being meeting you as a child, the second being the loss of the two most important women of his life, and the third? Being taken into the arms of the Operator.

He’s a proxy now, does his job well, and is with a group that sometimes tolerates him. He’s in a better place than when he was a child under his father’s roof.

“We’re going to work with another group tonight,” Masky says, a slight sigh lingering on his lips.

“W-Who are they?”

“You know Wallace, don’t you?” Hoodie suddenly cuts in.

Toby nods. He likes Ruth and Nyein, the other two he can live without.

“They got a new proxy,” Masky continues. “And they want us to take them for the evening. So, I guess we’re only working with their runt,” Masky finishes more to himself than anyone else. He brushes his fingers through his hair and pats his pocket for the car keys. “C’mon, might as well head over. Gonna be a bit of a drive.”

Toby glances over his shoulder at Kate, who is watching reruns of Judge Judy and slowly nodding off. “And s-s-she gets o-off scott f-free?” He teases lightly as he stands up, pushing his chair in across the checkered floor. He cracks his neck loudly before walking over to the sofa, his gloved hand rustling Kate’s hair.

She sleepily laughs. “Have fun and be safe, boys.”

“Get some sleep,” Masky chuckles, watching as Hoodie rustles her hair just as Toby did before heading out.

Toby zoned out a bit on the car ride to wherever the meeting place was. He always tended to zone out, but he couldn’t shake some weird buzzing in the back of his head. Something about the way Masky and Hoodie are talking about Wallace’s newest runt…

He doesn’t often remember things from his life before he became a proxy. The Operator made sure of that so he wouldn’t be too heartbroken to continue his job. But he’s always been able to remember you - more or less. Little glimpses, the feelings associated, you were never easy to get rid of.

Instead of mentally traumatizing him further, the Operator allowed him to keep his thoughts and feelings associated with you. Most days, Toby’s dim love for you spurred him forward.

“Time to go meet a runt,” Hoodie says, voice only slightly amused by the way the word ‘runt’ rolls off his tongue.

Masky parks the car and then shoves the keys into his pocket, nodding that it’s okay for everyone to get out of the car.

Toby stretches briefly in his seat before sliding out of the car, taking in the crisp night air. He takes a gander at his surroundings for a moment before locking eyes on a group of people. Wallace and his group - Toby narrows his eyes at the two men before catching Ruth and Nyein. His favorite proxy that’s not part of his group and his favorite independent other than Jeff and EJ. How nice.

Masky begins to walk over to meet the other group leader with Toby and Hoodie close behind. He looks tired, which is usual for him, but happy to see that Nyein is excitedly waving. “Heard you had a runt for us?”

“Sure do,” Theo says, looking over his shoulder. “C’mon out, they’re not going to bite you.”

“What, are they scared of us?” Hoodie chuckles as he puts his hands into his pockets. He glances past Theo to see a dark shape moving in the backseat of the car.

“It’s like, their first day working with people that aren’t us,” Wallace attempts to explain. “And from what we can gather, they only entered this life because of-”

“Toby.”

The name that pours from your lips sends Toby’s head and heart spinning. “E-Excuse me?” He barely manages to choke out as you step forward, pushing aside Wallace and Theo, looking at the much taller man with stars in your eyes.

“Oh my gods, Toby, is that you?” You whisper, still walking forward to meet him like a dream.

Toby’s eyes widen as he looks at you, no, stares you down. You look so much different than when he let you go as a teen - you’re all grown up now! Some things have changed about you, but other things have stayed the same.

Both your group and Toby’s give each other confused looks as if to ask the other if they knew about this before you rush forward, face planting into Toby’s chest.

He takes in a sharp breath and embraces you, laughter bubbling up from his throat. He takes in your sweet scent and picks you up, moving you from the group as he begins to twirl you and babble on about how much he missed you.

You giggle, tears falling like drops of rain from your eyes before you feel yourself planting back down into the parking lot, your attention focused on him and no one else. Your stomach is fluttering with butterflies as you look up at the teary eyed man. “How have you been?” You ask quietly, closing your eyes as Toby leans down slightly to rest his forehead against yours.

“Never better.”

[highfivesandgoodtimes]

spooning - nolan patrick

****ya girl is back w another patty fic. this might be one of my favorite things I've written so let me know what you think! this is some tooth aching fluff with our favorite stoic boy.***** 

“Did you just throw a spoon at me?”

Okay maybe you were being a little over dramatic. But it was warranted, he said over and over that he would be done in 5 minutes yet, here he was, 45 minutes later, still in front of that damn TV. 

You knew the struggle of dating a hockey player and you were okay with them, most of the time anyways. Nolan was back on the ice this season and while you couldn’t be happier to see your boy back doing what he loves, he was driving you crazy. 

Nolan had this weird thought that he had something to prove to the team, to the fans, to the entire city. After missing a season due to injury, he felt that he had to come back 10x better than he already was. You told him over and over again that it was really unnecessary since the team had faith in him and he was already playing fantastic as usual and he didn't owe those loud mouth reporters shit. Yet, it went in on ear and out the other. He spent extra time at the rink after practice, working on his shot, his speed, his passes, anything and everything he possibly could. 

Which lead to right now. You had barely seen Nolan this week due to games, practices, and you working so tonight was supposed to be one night to spend time together. You were going to cook dinner and Nolan even agreed to help and cook with you. You were honestly pretty excited to spend some time together and actually have a conversation with him that wasn't “good morning” or “good night”. 

Except you were standing in the kitchen, alone, halfway done cooking dinner and Nolan was sitting on the couch watching tapes from the team’s game last season against the Islanders in preparation for this weeks game. You asked multiple times for him to pause it and he promised just 5 more minutes every time. 

So yes, you did throw a spoon at him. 

All you did was shrug when he asked and turned around to go back to cooking. 

“Babe? Did you just throw a spoon at me?”

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” If he wanted to lie about being done with the game, then you could lie about the spoon. It was obvious he didn’t believe you but you did hear him pause the TV and heard his feet shuffling around the floor. 

You faced the stove and stir the pot you had on the burners when you felt hands slide around your waist and rest on your hips. Nolan shoved his face into your neck and he nuzzled into your skin as he pressed his body flush against yours. 

He mumbled a “baby?” into your neck and you hummed in response. He pulled his head up a bit to rest his chin on your shoulder.

“Why did you throw a spoon at me?”

“Why am I cooking dinner alone?”

The crickets were awfully loud tonight.

“Okay, so it appears I may have forgotten that I promised to help you cook tonight.” He leaned up and starting repeated kisses to your cheek. “I’m sorry honey, I got dishes tonight and dinner tomorrow, I promise.”. You still had yet to answer him. It may have been a bit dramatic but you were kinda hurt, all you wanted was a bit of quality time with him. Nolan continued to kiss your cheeks, your forehead, your chin, and all the way down to your shoulder blade. You still gave him not reaction and focused on the stove in front of you. It wasn't until Nolan rubbed his beard into your neck and started tickling his finger against your side did you crack.

“Stop it, I’m mad at you! Couldn’t you figure that out when I chucked a spoon at your head?” you were half laughing, half trying to put up a serious front. 

“Yeah, the spoon flying at my head kinda gave that away. I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to forget. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He pouted at you, sliding his arms back around your waist. He pulled you flush against him once again and starts swaying side to side. 

“Nol, you don’t get it. I really missed you this week, we’ve barely seen each other. I was looking forward to actually spending some time together but noooooo you just had watch more stupid hockey tapes.” you grumbled out that last part and took a rather aggressive jab at the pan with the spatula you were holding. He sat quietly for a moment while still swaying you back and forth slowly. You felt him rub his nose against your neck before he pressed his lips softly against the side of your head for a brief moment. 

“You’re right. I got too caught up in being back and got lost in the hockey hype. I neglected you and our relationship. I’m sorry baby, I’ll try to not let it happen again. If it does, you have my full permission to throw more spoons at him.” he mumbled. You hummed in response, appreciating his words and knowing that he meant them. “Here, let me help.” he grabbed the spatula from your hands and bumped you out of your place in front of the stove with his hip. You stared at him in amusement as he started stiring the dinner in the pan. “Cmon, I got this. go pour some wine and put on your favorite song.” he smiled at your, nodding his head toward the bottle of wine sitting on the kitchen island. You sighed but did as he said anyway. You grabbed two glasses and poured you both some wine. You put on your “chill” playlist, a favorite of both you and Nolan, and made your way back over to the stove.

Placing the glasses on the counter, you wrapped your arms snuggly around his midsection and rested your head against his back. You rested against him for a minute and mumbled a soft “missed you” against his shirt. You watched as he lowed the flame on the stove and spun around to face you. His hands landed at your waist as he tugged you close to him. Your chin was on his chest as you stared up at him. He smiled down at you contently and bent down to press a soft kiss to your lips.

“Hi baby.” he said, pressing another soft kiss to your lips. He always had a way of making you feel like a giddy schoolgirl.

“Hi honey.” you smiled back at him, relishing on finally getting a moment with your boyfriend. He kissed you one last time before pulling away from your hold.

“C’mon you love this song.” He said as he grabbed your hands and pulled you into the middle of the kitchen. He spun you around by the hand and dramatically dipped you into his arms, which always made you laugh. Before long, the two of you were spinning each other around the kitchen, dramatically dipping each other. There’s a chance your attempt to dip Nolan failed majorly and he may have ended up on the floor while you cracked up but that was a story for another time.

The two of spun around the kitchen, smiling, laughing, and just enjoying the time you two had together for a couple songs until Nolan realized dinner needed to be finished. He returned to the stove, stirring food around in the pot, while you perched on the counter with your glass of wine. Nolan told you all about his practice and all the funny things the boys chirped at each other while you caught him up on all of the latest work drama and the conversation you had with his sister a few days before. 

You passed Nolan plates as he placed dinner on them and the two of you headed to the table. Dinner was lovely, the conversation flowing as smooth as always. Smiles were spread across both of your faces as both of you clearly loved having this time to catch up with each other. Nolan smiled extra softly at you as you told him how dinner with your friends went the other night and reached out to hold your hand across the table.

“You know,” he started as you finished your story, “this is all I want in life. I just want me and you, together like this, for the rest of my life.”

“I- you- what?” you stuttered as he caught you off guard. He chuckled at your surprise and kissed your hand.

“Babes, you can’t be surprised by that. We’ve legit talked about marriage and kids, why would I not want you for the rest of my life?” he asked you. Well he did have a point, we had talked often about your future together and have recent taken the step to move in together. 

“I don’t know, just caught me by surprise. It’s always nice to hear though, I want you forever too Nols. You’re it for me.” you said as you leaned over the table to kiss him.

“Thanks baby, you’re it for me too.” he replied back to you in his typical deep voice. He lifted the back the your hand that he was holding up to his lips, kissing it gently. Then, in true Nolan fashion, he casually changed the conversation to a story about the boys messing around and almost getting in trouble this morning after practice. 

The two of you ended the night by migrating to your bed, opting for a movie and some comfy clothes. You laid with your head on his shoulder and you two watched the next couple episodes of the newest show you had been binging. You rolled closer to him, resting your head in the curve of his neck and wrapping your arms around his shirtless torso. His hand fell into your hair and your eyes fell shut at the calming feeling. You felt yourself start to doze off but not before you felt Nolan pull you closer and press a kiss to the top of your hair. He mumbled a soft “love you” as you fell asleep, thankful that you decided to throw a spoon at him.

[yunkiwii]

stargazing | au

pairing: non-idol!mingi x gn!reader

genre: fluff დ

warnings: none

wc: 2.1k

requested: no, but i'll tag @su-lix because she has been waiting for this ♡

net: @ateezlovenet

summary: you met mingi at san's birthday party and somehow you both end up talking throughout the whole party, which led to him (kinda) asking you out.

Last week, at your friend San’s birthday party you met this other friend of his, Mingi, and somehow you two ended up talking throughout the whole party ignoring whatever was going on outside of your little bubble. When you told him you knew the names of the constellations and how to distinguish them, he got so excited about it that he just couldn’t help but ask you to teach him someday.

The party ended, you exchanged numbers to keep in touch and now, nine days later, there you were, sitting on the passenger seat of his car making your way to the middle of nowhere, to star gaze together. You still couldn’t believe you actually went on board with this, considering that you barely knew him, but you trusted San’s judgement just enough and, besides, there was no way this boy would hurt you, even though he was really tall he was just like a kid trapped in a big man’s body, too pure for this world and you could see right through him. And he was hot, you would never admit it out loud but that also had a say on your decision.

You felt really comfortable siting there next to him, windows rolled down, your hand hanging on the outside feeling the fresh breeze hitting you on this warm summer evening, as you watch the sun setting down and the sky turning into shades of orange and pink, the busy city being left behind, further and further away from you at every second.

The twenty-minute drive was made almost in absolute silence, but not in an awkward silence way, just quiet, with soft music playing in the radio, a playlist that Mingi swore he chose randomly, but you just couldn’t shake the feeling that he made the playlist specially for this drive, it just fitted the mood too well to be a coincidence.

“So, we need to establish something first.” Mingi breaks the silence as he stops the car in a small parking lot, with only a couple of lampposts lighting the area faintly now that the sun was fully gone, and you hum in response taking your eyes away from the window and facing him. “Is this a date or is this merely educational? I need to know how to behave.”

“Hm… you were the one asking me to come, so it’s up to you I guess…” you smile back at him, praying that he wouldn’t notice your hands playing with each other, a clear sign of how nervous you got the moment he spoke up.

Mingi chuckles shyly and scratches the back of his head, clearly not expecting his question to backfire at him like that. You felt proud of yourself for being able to keep it cool and avoid the question like that, even more so seeing how you left the boy so flustered he wouldn’t look you in the eye.

“It’s a date then!” He decides after a while, smiling at you but when he was halfway leaving the car, he turns back at you again, “This is, if you’re okay with it.”

“I’m already here aren’t I?” you smile back at him, leaving the car as well, satisfied at how things were turning out, although you had actually thought it was clear from the moment he asked, back at San’s party, that this would be a date, yet you still found it sweet that he had to make sure first.

As you step out you start looking around, unsure about the safety of this random place so far away from the so familiar city. It seems like a small village to you, a very quiet one, the chirping of crickets and the croaking of frogs combined with the sound of running water being the only things you could hear, and you realize there’s likely a river nearby which explains why it felt chillier here, making you pull on your jacket’s sleeves so you could cover your hands, still nervously gripping on the other.

Mingi notices your nervous tic easily and approaches you slowly with his backpack hanging from one shoulder, his tall figure right next to you so close that the said backpack is brushing on your arm lightly.

“(y/n), don’t worry about this place yeah? My grandma used to live here, I know this place better than I know myself, it’s completely safe.” He looks down at you waiting for your approval, but you just nod and hum in response, not convincing him. “It’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable here, we can go back to the city and do something else, or I can take you home if that’s what you want…”

“No Mingi, we’re here already let’s stick to the plan.” You look up at him smiling determined and a wide smile forms on his face, and hell that was a beautiful smile, one of those that could wipe all the worries in the world, and you had to look away as you felt your cheeks warm up. “But I would be more comfortable if we stayed close to the parking lot, okay?”

With that said he suggested staying near the closest tree, just close enough to what you considered safe but not too close to the lampposts so that you could still see the stars clearly. He took out a dark blue blanket out of his backpack and as you sat on it, just chatting about random daily life stuff, you began to feel more at ease, finally taking your hands away from each other and resting one on the blanket for support, and the other on your lap.

As Mingi asked you about the constellations, you let yourself fall on your back, getting a laugh out of the boy, while you ramble about how since you were little you looked up more often than you looked down, gaining you a couple of funny falls throughout the years.

“Hey, lay down, otherwise you will hurt your neck.” You chuckled pulling Mingi down by slightly grabbing on his sweater’s sleeve, and he too falls on his back right next to you, your hands brushing every once in a while, sending shivers from the tip of your fingers right into and through your spine. This made you fluster a bit, making you unable to keep the conversation going, so you both just stared in silence into the sprinkles in the sky for a while, until Mingi looks back at you all of the sudden and breaks the silence.

“Is that a constellation?” he points up to the sky, unaware that you had no idea where he was pointing at, his eyes wide open looking at you, excited about the fact that he might have figured something out.

“Mingi, I have no idea where you’re pointing at...”

“Oh, well…” he moves his body closer to yours to try and explain better what he was seeing, your shoulders now touching and he extends his arm right in front of your face so you could follow the invisible line connecting his fingers and the said constellation, “Those five stars connected form a weird «w», is that a constellation?” he looks at you again with expectation.

“Yes!! It’s Cassiopeia!” you grab his arm excitedly pulling it down next to you and, unable to control your nerdy excitement over stars, you start rambling about the said constellation unaware that you were still entangled in Mingi’s arm.

“In mythology, Cassiopeia was the wife of King Cepheus, whose constellation is right next to hers! One day she started saying she was more beautiful than the sea nymphs, the Nereids. One of them was married to Poseidon and so they appealed to him to punish Cassiopeia for her boastfulness. Because of this Cepheus went to an oracle for help who told him they had to sacrifice their daughter, Andromeda, to the sea monster, and so they did; but last minute the Greek hero Perseus showed up and rescued her from the monster. Later, Andromeda and Perseus got married and some other guy showed up claiming to be the right suit for Andromeda, starting a fight. Perseus was outnumbered so he used the head of Medusa which, as you probably know already, turned into stone whoever looked her in the eyes. In this process the king and queen were killed, Poseidon still wanted revenge and so he placed them in the sky, leaving Cassiopeia condemned to circle the celestial pole forever, spending half the year upside down in the sky as punishment for-” you stop yourself from talking as you realise you might be boring him and, worse, you were still attached to his arm like a limp, releasing him immediately and avoiding eye contact, embarrassed by your ramblings and for overstepping his personal space, and finished the sentence weakly, “for her vanity.”

“How do you know all this?” Mingi sits up and he didn’t seem bothered at all, quiet au contraire, he was actually amazed by you and interested in what you were saying. That caught you by surprise since all you were used to was to people telling you to shut up whenever you rambled about things you were passionate about.

“Well, I read a lot about this stuff… I can lend you a few books if-”

“Yes, please! I would very much like that (y/n)!” he says and squeezes your hand lightly in appreciation when you sit up yourself, holding onto your hand a bit too longer than he was supposed to, “Your hands are so cold, do you need another sweater or something? I might have another one in my car.”

As he was standing up to go to his car you grab his hand again, earning his attention back to your face again.

“I know the car is close but-, I don’t want to be left alone here…” You hesitated a bit, but the thought of being left alone there, with his back turned to you, took your mind right to all those crime documentaries you usually watch for fun, but picturing it in the real world doesn’t seem so fun.

“Oh, that’s okay (y/n), I won’t leave you alone. But perhaps we should go back now, you’re really cold and I don’t want you to get sick or something.” Mingi helps you up as you nod in agreement, although the prospect of your date ending didn’t please you that much, but he was right, as the night went on it got colder and you were starting to shiver a bit by now.

The ride back home was a whole different than the one from earlier, your level of comfort with each other went from comfortable silence to an open debate on whether your zodiac sign had a say on your personality or not. No conclusion was taken from it though, since it only led to you getting to know each other better based on the traces of personality you used to prove your own points.

Your trip back home was soon to be over but neither of you were ready to say goodbye just yet, it felt like you’ve just left the city, but you were already back, and it was almost midnight.

“Time really flies by when we’re having fun huh?” Mingi chuckled quietly and you barely heard him, so you assumed he was talking to himself and didn’t say anything. He stopped the car right in front of the pathway to your house, leaning back on his seat and turning his head to face you, “Here we are, (y/n). Thank you for agreeing on this date, I had a really good time.” His smile awakens a warm sensation inside you and you automatically mirror his expression.

“I had a lot of fun too, Mingi, thank you for tonight.”

At this point you knew you should probably say your goodbyes and call it a night, but you just stayed like that for a few more minutes, or so it seemed to you, tracing each other’s features with your eyes, memorizing every bit of it hoping you would dream with each other that night, but in reality, only a few seconds had passed until you became flustered by the boy’s eyes locked on your face.

“Hm, I- I should probably go,” you rush to take the seatbelt off and leave the car, looking back in before shutting the door, “thank you again, Mingi.”

As you were about to enter the house you hear his voice calling you from inside the car, you turn around and see the window from the passenger's side open, his face trying to get a look at you, “When will you lend me that book you told me about?”

You giggled to yourself, seeing this as chance to take control of what should happen next, “Perhaps on our next date, I’ll text you the details!”

He smiled at you and yelled back a “deal” before starting the car and leaving at full speed. You shut your door and lean against it, not quite believing you were actually the one who suggested the second date.

♡MASTERLIST♡

[yootaesowlwrites]

Banner: Credit to gif and picture owners, banner made by me.

Requested by: Nobody, but I’m tagging @taeandpuppies​

Gerne: Vampire AU, Strangers-to-lovers.

Warnings: Blood mentioned, Gore mentioned, Killing scenes, Temporary death.

W/C: 4 861

A/N: Trying out a new writing style, hopefully I didn’t do too bad.

“When will you change me?” Tae asks as he moves to grab the tv remote controller, shutting it off, you were seated between his legs on the bed you shared with him, his arms wrapped around you, you look up at him, seeing a hint of sadness in his eyes. “Are you ever going to change me?” He was well aware of the consequences, the price he would have to pay to be an immortal, but if he could spend the rest of eternity with her, then the price would be worth paying.

“I love you, you know that right?” You ask, looking into his eyes.

“I know.” He says, you quickly pick up his tone and use your speed to move away from between his legs and sit on the bed facing him. “But soon, I’ll be old, and you will still be young and vibrant.” Nodding your head as you listen intently to him. “It would be cruel to both of us to stay together.” Five years had already passed with them together, and every couple of months he would her you to change him, and each time you would say that you’d consider it, but eventually, you would have to have a conversation with him about his wish.

The night was filled different types of sounds, crickets in the distance long with frogs were almost clear to hear, but the sound of laughter, arguments were closer, but the sound that was the clearest to hear that reached a vampire’s ears was the sound of blood coursing through the human body, the sound of their hearts beating loudly giving them life, eyes watched as people walk by thinking they could live forever, not once thinking that standing in the shadows, watching as they walked by, could be a monster ready to strike, ready to feed and fill that burning hunger.

You lick your lips as your eyes scan through the large crowd of people passing you, you were hungry and in search for a meal, it had been a little over two months since your last meal and you shouldn’t have waited as long as you did before going out to eat, to feed, but you couldn’t afford to get caught by anyone, especially the hunters, they showed no mercy when it came to killing vampires, the monsters of the night.

Pushing yourself away from the wall you were leaning again, you begin following a lonesome human, the sickening scent of alcohol coming from him and immediately knew he would an easy target, just enough to fill you, to satisfy you, for the time being, you could feel your predatory instincts taking over as you inched closer to the human, ready to attack, your fangs had started growing and veins had begun sprouting from underneath your eyes, seconds away from having your first meal in months when a sweet intoxicating scent reached you, causing you to stop dead in your tracks, fangs retracting and veins disappearing as you begin following the intoxicating smell, following it all the way until reaching a park.

Snowflakes slowly begin falling causing everyone to stop and look up to the sky, you, however, continued to follow the scent until you found a man standing near a park bench, staring up at the sky with admiration, a smile on his lips as his dark eyes practically glow with joy, a human looking so peaceful, yet his scent was so intoxicating, he looks away from the sky when he felt eyes on him and sees you standing only a few feet away from him, he lifts his hand and waves at you, his dark warm eyes meeting yours.

“Hi.” Tae gently greets you, you blink rapidly before carefully lifting your hand and waving back at him.

“Hello.” You carefully say before lowering your hand, his hand falls back down to his side.

“Can you believe it?” Tae says, excitement in his tone. “It started snowing.” He looks up at the sky, your eyes falling to his neck, seeing the pulsing heartbeat, the vein pumping blood through his system, he looks back at you, only to see an empty spot where you once stood, you had fled, leaving him alone and confused.

The next night you were out again, but this time not to hunt, this time in search for the person with the intoxicating scent, you stood in the park where you had abandoned him, snow covered the ground the night, everything was frozen in place, just as you were, frozen in time, never able to grow old, live life as it should be lived, watching your loved ones dying, immortality could be a curse and sometimes it was a blessing.

“Hi,” Tae says from next to you, you had smelt him approaching and mentally prepared, the sweet intoxicating scent was too strong, you could barely smell anything else other than him, lowering your gaze from the tree you were staring at to look at him.

“Hello.” You softly say, his hands were buried in the pockets of his jacket, and he was staring at you.

“Are you going to disappear again?” He asks, his eyes not leaving you, afraid that you would disappear again, a faint smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

“I apologise for leaving you so abruptly.” You say, you had feared that you would hurt him and decided to flee was the best option, leaving the town entirely and going into a nearby forest, animals weren’t something you’d normally eat, but staying in town and trying to find a meal would have been impossible with his smell lingering in her mind. “I was late for something and forgot to give a goodbye when I left.” He nods his head, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“You didn’t have to explain yourself to me, but thank you.” He says. “But, I can’t help but wonder something.” You slightly tilt your head to the side. “How did you manage to disappear so fast?” You blink, realising you had made a mistake.

“Wh… what do you mean?” You almost stutter out. “I ran, I must have been fast if you didn’t see me.” The lie falling so early from your lips, but for the first time in decades, you felt guilty for lying.

“Are you sure?” Tae asks. “Because you were gone in a blink of an eye.” You nod your head.

“Yes, I’m a good runner.” You say, how could you have slipper up, how could you have caused a human to start asking questions. “Are you enjoying the snow?” You ask, hoping to change the subject, to take his mind off from your slip up, you could compel him to forget, but you wanted to know him, know the man with the sweet smell on him, and compelling somebody you wanted to know was never a good start to any friendship.

“I am, it was a surprise when it started,” Tae says. “I wasn’t expecting it to snow so early in the winter.” His gaze moving away from you to look up at the sky, the stars and moon lighting up the dark night sky. “Do you like snow?” He turns his gaze back to you, you push your hands into the pockets of the jacket you wore.

“The snow could be calming.” You say, yet, it could also show the monstrous side of you, the white blanket covered in red was your first memory as a vampire, newly turned, out of control bloodthirsty. “Most of the time.”

“Most of the time?” He asks, you nod your head. “What do you mean?”

“Not everything is as it seems, for example, it could be calm here.” You say as you heard tyres screeching a few blocks away. “But a few blocks away, it could be hell for someone else.” The crash reaches your ears, almost causing you to flinch from the loud noise, his lips part, and he slowly nods his head.

“Right, I never thought about it like that.” He says. “Oh, I haven’t even introduced myself to you yet.” He turns his body to face you. “I’m Taehyung, Kim Taehyung, but you can call me Tae, or V, or any nickname you want to use or think of.” Your smile slightly widens.

“What do you prefer to be called?” You ask.

“V, but you can call me Tae if you want.” He says, he takes his hand out from his pocket and extends his arm out to you, holding his hand out for you to shake, your eyes fall to his hand before slowly taking your hand out from your pocket, holding your breath before carefully taking hold of his hand. “Oh.” He gasps. “You must be cold, your hand feels like it’s about to freeze off.”

“Oh.” You say, quickly releasing his hand and pushing it back into your pocket. “Uh, I’m (Y/n), and I have an explanation for that.”

“All right, I’m waiting to hear it, although you don’t have to,” Tae says. “It is winter, so I understand.” You nod your head, looking down at the ground for a moment before looking back at him.

“Yeah, you’re right, it is winter, and uh, I get cold, well, my skin gets cold easily.” You begin to say. “I don’t feel the cold, but others do, I’ve been asked if I’m cold, but as I’m standing here, I don’t feel cold.” He nods his head. “It rarely bothers me.”

“Oh, that sounds interesting, your skin always being cold, yet you don’t feel it.” He says. “I wish I could ask about it some more, but I should get home, but will you be here tomorrow night?” You nod your head.

“I’ll be here tomorrow night.” You say.

“Great!” He says. “Maybe then we can spend some more time together.” You nod your head, agreeing with him, that was something you would like to do, even with knowing the consequences, the danger of it.

“I’ll be here tomorrow night, sitting on the park bench.” You say, he nods his head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night then.” He says before dashing away in a hurry, You softly smile as you watch him.

“I look forward to it.” You whisper.

As you were making your way back to the apartment you were living in, the wide smile you wore was quickly replaced with a frown when you heard a loud slam and then a whimper, the whimper sounding all too familiar to you.

Speeding in the opposite direction, you quickly found Tae pinned up against a metal door by two thugs, your eyes change and veins sprout from underneath your eyes, the colour of your eyes becoming a dark red, almost black as your fingers grew before you launched yourself at his attackers, grabbing one and disappearing around the corner, sinking your teeth not the attacker's neck, ripping the veins and muscles as you do, his screams dying down almost as quickly as it started, his death was swiftly, yet violent, his head separated from his body before his body landed on the ground with a thud next to his head.

You speed towards the other attacker, wrapping your hands around his neck, squeezing down on it with all your strength, the last sight in front of him before his airway was crushed, was the sight of a demon, a merciless monster.

You hadn’t meant for it to be so violent, but the thought of somebody touching… hurting, Tae, was too much, and something snapped inside you.

Releases the attacker's neck, your senses slowly returned to you, the mistake hitting you like a boulder, you could hear him behind you, his heart rate, pounding, pumping his blood through his veins, his breathing was loud and the smell of fear hits you like a train, closing your eyes as you take in a deep breath before slowly turning around, perhaps you should have run, disappeared it would have been the smarter choice.

“(Y/n)?” Tae whispers, blood staining your lips and hands as well as your clothes, standing still, not daring to move towards him, he was already frightened, for two long months you had managed to hide this side of you, only for you to slip up when you wanted to protect him, he was sitting against the metal door altering being dropping by his attackers. “You… you saved me.” He quickly moved to his feet, dusting himself off before taking a step towards you.

“Stop.” You quickly say, he stops in his tracks. “I… I have to go, I’m sorry.”

“Wait!” Tae says, but in a blink of an eye, you were once again gone, out of his sight. “(Y/n)!” He begins looking around, hoping to spot you. “Please, I want to thank you!”

For an entire week, you watched him from afar as he waited for you in the park, only to leave when he realised you weren’t going to show up, to avoid him was hard, you were still attracted to his scent, no matter where you were, you couldn’t get him out of your mind, but it was safer to be away from him, better for him, or that’s what you kept telling yourself, so far you have successfully avoided him for an entire week, but he seemed determined to see you.

You weren’t expecting to see him at the mall as you were buying some clothes, you put the jacket back when his scent suddenly invaded your nostrils, you turn around, ready to run only to almost run into him.

“Where have you been?” It sas the first thing he asked when he knew it was you.

“What the…” You say, surprised that he was that close to you, it was rare that you would get surprised, but you weren’t expecting him to be right in front of you when you turned, you had thought he had just entered the mall. “How did you do that?”

“Well, I figured you could smell me, so I tried to hide my scent,” Tae says. “It must have worked.” He takes a step closer to you. “Now, where have you been? I was waiting for you in the park.”

“I was… occupied with something.” You say.

“You’re lying.” He says. “You’ve been avoiding me, why?”

“I have not been avoiding you.” You answer.

“Okay, please stop lying to me, if it’s because you’re a…” He begins before leaning closer to her. “A vampire.” He whispers. “Then I’m not afraid of you.”

“You should be.” You say before beginning to move past him.

“Wait, wait.” He says as he took hold of your wrist, you stop in your step. “I want to get to know you more, more about you… more about…” You turn around, moving closer to him.

“Are you sure?” You ask. “Because it isn’t a fairytale.”

The strong scent of coffee almost blocked his sweet scent from you, keyword, almost, you were sitting inside a small café with a cup of hot chocolate resting on the small round table in front of you, sitting across from you was Tae with his own cup of tea in front of him, you lean back against your seat, waiting for him to ask you what he wanted to know, it would have been better if they were somewhere a bit more private, luckily you knew the owner of the café, he himself was a vampire and would make sure to erase anyone’s memory if they heard your conversation with Tae.

“So, what do you want to know?” You ask, he takes a sip from his tea before placing the cup on the table.

“How long?” He asks. “How long have you been…?” You lean forward.

“For 3 decades.” You softly answer, his eyes widen, how long had you been alive? When were you turned? How were you turned?

“30 years?” He asks.

“More or less.” You say.

“Whoa…” He breathes out as he leans back against his chair, letting the information sink in. “How… did it happen?” You pick up your cup of hot chocolate, which quickly gained is attention. “Wait, you can drink and eat normal human food?”

“Human food can ease the hunger for a bit, but not for long.” You say. “We drink hot beverages to keep our skin warm, so we can feel warm if someone accidentally touches us.”

“But the second night we met… your hands were freezing.” He states, you take a sip from your drink before putting the cup down.

“I wasn’t planning on shaking your hand that night.” You quietly say. “I was hoping to see you again, yes, but I wasn’t planning on staying long, I was still hungry.”

“Still hungry?” He asks. “What do you mean still hungry?” You lean back in your seat.

“The night when we met, I was out hunting, but I decided against hunting in town and left.” You say. “I was unsatisfied with my meal, and was hoping to find another one later that night.”

“Was I ever a target?” He asks as he placed his hands on the table, near his cup of tea.

“No.” You say while taking in a deep, unneeded breath. “You just happened to interrupt my hunt, well… you scent interrupted me.”

“My scent?” He asks. “I knew you could smell me, but… how did my smell interrupt you?”

“You have this… hm.” You begin before stopping to think. “Your scent, it’s so strong and sweet, almost intoxicating to me, and it interrupted my hunt, so I decided to follow it, and that’s when I found you.”

“Oh.” He breathes out. “Are you saying I smell good?” A box smile on his lips.

“You could say that.” You say. “To answer your first question, it happened accidentally, during the winter, somewhere along the 24 hours leading to my immortality, I had consumed…” You look around the café, noticing the place was almost empty. “Vampire blood, I still don’t know when, but I was walking home from a friend’s house when I was attacked and left to die in the snow, but with the blood in my system, I was turned and woke up as a vampire hours after my attack, my wounds healed but my throat feeling like it was on fire.” You swallow as you think back to that moment. “I realised I had to choose between life and death, there was still so much to see in the world, but the price to keep on living… I chose death.”

“What happened?” He quietly asks, knowing something had to have happened if you were sitting across from him today.

“Some unlucky soul was at the wrong place at the wrong time with a nosebleed.” You say. “I still remember how the white snow was stained with their blood.”

“Is there the part where you’re going to kill me?” Tae asks, his arms were firmly wrapped around your neck and you firmly, yet gently, held onto his legs as you carried him up the mountain, no this wasn’t some twilight scene where you were taking him up the mountains to look at your glowing skin, which you didn’t have, no you had special jewellery that kept you from burning to ashes in the sun.

“Why do you think I’m going to kill you?” You ask with a sight giggle in your tone, it’s been a month since he found out and he’s been asking about vampirism non-stop, and asking about your past. “I told you I want to show you something.” You carefully step over some rocks and branches.

“But at night?” Tae asks. “And maybe you want to show me how you’re going to kill me.” You reach the top of the mountain, a cleared out space that had the perfect view of the sky above, you carefully bend down and releases his legs. “Wow!” His feet gently hit the ground, and he releases the hold around your neck.

“I’m not here to kill you.” You say as you turn around to face him. “I’m here to show my favourite spot.” He looks around, thick trees surrounded the area, he looks to the ground and noticed they were standing on a flat hard surface. “Look up.” He lifts his gaze to the dark sky, his eyes seeing the full moon and stars decorating the sky.

“Whoa…” He breathes out as he sees the view, now he knew why this was your favourite spot. “How often do you come here?” He sits down on the large rock covering the ground, his gaze never leaving the sky, you sit down next to him, your eyes on him instead of the sky.

“Every full moon, it’s beautiful when the moonlight lights up the world and to hear nature when the world is quiet.” You say, he lowers his gaze from the sky to look at you. “I wish you could hear what I’m hearing, but I’ll tell you instead.”

“Can’t you turn me instead?”

You speed towards him and gently push him up against the wall, looking into his eyes, it’s been a little over a year now and you had slowly developed feelings for him, and you were certain he had developed feelings for you.

“You want me to turn you?” You ask as you inch your face closer to his neck, you could hear his heart rate slightly picking up.

“That’s what I’ve been asking for months,” Tae says, you lick your lips before pressing them against his neck, hearing him take in a deep breath, he was well aware that this wasn’t how it was done. “(Y/n).” He whines, you pull away from his neck.

“I’ll think about it some more.” You say before leaning in, closing the distance completely as you plant your lips against his, he didn’t pull back or fight it, instead, he kissed back, moving his lips with yours, you pull away from the kiss, leaning your forehead against his to look into his eyes. “I’ll consider it.” She takes a step back from him. “If you move in with me.” A smile forms on his lips as he pushes himself away from the wall.

“Next thing you’ll ask me to marry you.” He says.

“Marriage is old-fashioned, and I might come from the time when marriage was a must, but I’m not living in that life anymore.” You say. “Marriage isn’t a must for me.” He nods his head. “I hope you weren’t hoping for a wedding.”

“After meeting you, it hasn’t been an option for me in a long time,” Tae says. “But before I met you I did dream of marrying someone.”

“Perhaps I’m holding you back from life then.” You say, his expression quickly changed.

“No, no, you’re not.” He quickly says. “I’ve never experienced the things I have until I met you, you’ve been showing me a different world, a different way of living.” He moves closer to you. “Don’t you dare think that you’re holding me back, I choose to be here with you.” He takes hold of your hand, feeling the cold skin underneath his warm touch, something he had got used to. “Don’t you dare think of leaving me all alone, I don’t think I can imagine my life without you anymore.” He pulls you closer to him, wrapping an arm around you as he releases your hand. “I want you, I’m here with you because I want to be with you.”

“Even knowing I could slip up one day?” You ask.

“You won’t.” He says. “I know you won’t because I trust you.” His other hand moves to your cheek, his thumb brushing over your cheek. “When can I move in so you can consider changing me?” You chuckle as you went to move out his grasp, only for him to pull you back into a passionate kiss.

Five years have passed since all those events happened, there was more, but those were the ones that stood out to you when you thought back, which brought you to today, he was staring at you, waiting for an answer, and serious one this time.

“You always ask when I’ll turn you.” You begin. “Perhaps I should ask if you’re sure that it is what you want?” You reach for his hands, gently taking hold of them. “The price is high, you might say you love me now, but there could be something you love more than me when you’re turned.”

“You’ll be there to help me,” Tae says. “I want this, I want to be with you for an eternity, for forever.” He looks down at your hands holding his, gently squeezing your hands before looking up at you. “I know what I’m asking for, I know it’s not something you chose, but I’m choosing this, I’m choosing to be with you for the rest of my life, for the rest of time.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” You softly say, pain in your eyes as you stared at him. “You know I have to kill you if you want to transform.”

“It will be swift, painless.” He says, hoping to reassure you, which didn’t.

“Painless for you perhaps.” You say as you release his hands. “Forever is a very long time, Kim Taehyung, are you prepared to live forever?” You stood from the bed, moving away from the piece of furniture.

“I’m prepared to spend it with you.” He says as he stood from the bed, walking up behind you, he wraps his arms around you and lays his head on your shoulder. “I’m prepared to face whatever forever throws at us, as long as it is with you.” You slightly turn your head to look at him.

“I don’t want you hurt, never mind kill you.” You say. “But if it is what you want…” You move away from his grasp and turn to face him. “I’ll do it, I’ll change you.”

“You will?” He asks, you quickly picked up on the excitement in his tone. “When?” You lift one hand and held it out to him. “Now?”

“Only if you want to do it now.” You say, he nods his head and moves closer to you, you brought your other hand to your palm and pressed it into the skin, easily breaking it and causing blood to seep from your veins, he took hold of your wrist and lifts your hand to his lips, he looks at you before pressing his lips against your palm, drinking your blood, the blood that would soon transform him into a vampire, the wound quickly healed and when it did he released your wrist, you move closer to him, already feeling a pinch in her heart. “Remember, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Tae says, you placed your hand near his neck and pulls him closer.

“I’m so sorry for hurting you.” You whisper before pulling him in for a passionate, feeling his warm lips against yours for one final time, the kiss lasted only seconds before you snapped his neck, along with the snap came a sob from you as you broke the kiss, the person you love laid motionless against you, you move him to the bed and carefully lays him down, only leaving the room to retrieve a blood bag for him when he wakes up.

You were staring out the window, watching the dark clouds passing over the city, a loud gasp caused you to turn and speed towards the bed, falling to your knees next to it to check up on him, he abruptly sits up and grabbed his throat, already feeling the burning feeling it, he looks around the room frantically, unused to the clear vision, his eyes fall on you.

“Hey, hey.” You softly say, keeping your voice down, knowing that he has to get used to the enhanced hearing. “How are you feeling?”

“… Good.” He whispers, you could see him rubbing his throat. “But, my throat…”

“I know, I know.” You say and reach for the blood bag you brought earlier. “This will make it feel better.” He looks at the bag and releases his throat to take it, he could smell the blood coming from it and rips it open and drinks from it, squeezing the bag until he couldn’t get more from it, he moves it away from his lips and looks at you, his eyes blown wide open. “More?”

“No.” He says. “No, I don’t need more.” He stood from the with inhuman speed, you quickly stood from the ground to face him. “I just… I want to try something.” He moves closer to you, carefully placing his hand on your cheek, his thumb gently sliding over her skin as he felt something change in him, he was no longer human, he could feel it.

You did it, you actually changed him, and now nothing could stop him from being with you, he pulls you into a heated kiss, ready to show you how much he loves you, ready to have sex with you without you having to worry you’ll love control.

[maddestzoomer]

late-night drives

warnings - i don't think there are any aside from a small amount of cursing and a lil bit of angst :)

word count - 2.1k

summary - you go for a late-night ride with steve harrington

a.n. - just thought this was an interesting concept, and so i put it into writing haha. also, i guess this could serve as a second part to stop thinking 

.`.

It was two in the morning as you got dressed, pulling on an old sun-bleached t-shirt and some jeans, trying to remain as quiet as possible.

Maybe you wouldn't be doing this if it weren't so uncomfortably hot in your room- the type of hot that made your sheets cling to your body and your skin break out in a small sweat. Maybe if your mom would bother to turn the A/C on, well, maybe you wouldn't be sneaking out.

Tonight was different from the regular, though. Steve had invited you to hang out, and the thought of doing so made gave you something to look forward to. It wasn't often only the two of you hung out.

A part of you wondered if he would actually even show up. You, of course, hoped he would- so that you would be able to spend time with that charming brunette. But the clock on your nightstand sprouted doubt and worry in your mind as the time went on, causing you to pick at your nails as you gazed from your window.

All that doubt and worry was left behind when you watch a car pull up in front of your house.

'Shit...' You thought to yourself. All of a sudden, the reality of the situation seemed to come crashing down. You could feel your heart beating in your chest. Why the fuck did Steve have to have /that effect. The one that made it hard to breathe and even harder to think.

Stop thinking.

You began walking from your room, attempting to be as careful and quiet as possible. You'd studied the hallways floors before, so you knew where to and where not to step.

As soon as you close the front door, you felt pure energy. It may have been three in the morning, but it no longer felt like it. The tiredness faded away with a soft summer breeze, causing the smallest of smiles to pull to your lips.

Quickly, you walked Steve's car, hopping into the passenger's seat and shutting the door behind you.

"Well, look at that!" Steve greeted with a smile as he shifted the car into drive "You know, you're basically a juvenile delinquent now."

You rolled your eyes, though you smiled softly "That's definitely a good way to greet someone." You joked, buckling up.

Steve chuckled softly, rolling down the windows. How he managed to look so awake and ready at 2 am, you had zero clue.

The sprinklers from your neighbor’s yard hissed softly, though that becomes distant as Steve pulled further away from your house.

Steve turned the radio on, flipping through a few stations before finding one he liked, a station playing something by New Order.

Steve, like you, doesn’t sleep all that much. His mind simply doesn't let him sometimes. With all that has happened, sleep is a rarity. He could be absolutely exhausted (mentally or physically), laying in bed with 20 milligrams of melatonin in his system and he still would be kept awake. So he drives. It helps calm him down.

The red lights paint his face in vibrant shadows as he taps on the steering wheel to whatever song was playing. Then, he gripped the steering wheel tightly, and a muscle twitches in his clenched jaw.

“Are you alright?” You asked with a frown, surprised at the hoarseness of your own voice.

Steve shrugged with a slightly casual smile, the light turning green. He slams on the accelerator, causing you to tightly grasp the side of you seat. No one else is on the road (thankfully).

Steve slowed down slightly, not wanting to worry you.

“I don’t get it,” Steve finally said, shaking his head a bit. He sent a glance your way “I just don’t get it.”

“Don't get what?” You ask with a slight frown

“What am I supposed to be doing?” Steve asked as he slows to a stop at another red light, again glancing over to you.

“I dunno. Where am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do?”

“If anyone knew the answer to that question,” You smiled softly, sadly, “we’d all be a lot happier.”

Steve shakes his head with a very small smile, then turns onto a road you knew well.

“We’re going up?” You asks. There was a high up hill in Hawkins, one that allowed for people to overlook the town below. You had visited there a few times, mostly because of how calm it can be there.

“I feel like looking down on something,” Steve replies “Makes my problems seem... smaller. Ya know?”

You nodded a bit, still with a small frown. Sometimes, Steve worried you.

The wind and crickets are quickly drowned out as he rounds curves and climbs up the mountain, pressing your shoulders back and forth in you seat.

“I think... at the very least, you know where you belong,” You finally said quietly, when Hawkins is below you and there was less twisting hill available to climb.

“Here. I think.” You added softly, eyes being drawn to the window. Maybe it sounded a bit off when you said it, but you absolutely meant it. He belonged here... right? Such a small town could be pretty shitting with the generally conservative mindset, but at least it was safe, right?

Steve tilts his head, eyes still glued to the road. The headlights bounce off of the signs and flash in both of your eyes. “Maybe... Hopefully.” He said, tone uncharacteristically unsure of itself. Contemplative.

The wind cuts through your clothes, making you shiver and cross your arms over your chest. Steve sees it out of the corner of his eye. He made a quick glance in your direction.

“There’s a sweater in the back.” He says softly, beginning to make another turn

You nodded thankfully, reaching to the back, grabbing the dark blue sweater, and pulling it over your head. It smells softly of pine and coffee, and you swiped off a few crumbs that fall when the fabric rests on your stomach.

“This is gonna sound stupid, but I went to a tea place today,” Steve says, slowing down and pulling over to the side of the road. “Just to watch, I guess. I wanted to see what people do.”

“And?” You asked, looking to Steve. Tires crunch on gravel as he slows the car to a stop on a pullout

“Everyone seemed to have something to do. Grab a coffee and go to work. Sit down for a couple hours and study some stupid summer course. Meet up with a friend and talk about nothing. They all- well,” he parked the car, turning it off and opening the door to step out

You followed him, now grateful for the woolen sweater. Once you were out of the house, it seemed to get a whole lot cooler

“I guess they all seemed to know what they were doing. And I was just sitting there, like 'Fuck. I could be doing something- I should be doing something.'" He said as he climbed onto a rock, then sitting on top

You hesitated a moment before joining him on the rock, taking a seat next to him. The two of you were close to one another, shoulder to shoulder.

“Maybe that was where you were meant to be,” You finally said with a small smile, settling down next to him. He drew his knees up to his chest, taking in a deep breath. It was obvious he didn't agree.

“In that coffee shop. Wondering about the lives of those people. Maybe that’s what you’re meant for, Steve.”

“Yeah... but that doesn't pay bills. Wondering can only do so much.” He murmurs with a small, sad smile, eyes dancing over the lights of the town beneath him. Distant noises drift up- a car honking, a coyote yelling, drunk college kids running around- and you are reminded that this night is not just yours and Steve's

The wind plays with the hairs on the back of your neck as you tilt your head back to stare at the stars. You knew Steve wasn't really asking for an actual answer- at least, not from you, not tonight.

He just wants someone to hear him. That's all he ever wanted. And he knew you would listen because you always listen. Not many people listen actually to what Steve has to say. They write him off as an asshole air-head, as a boring little boy with parents who didn't give a fuck what he had to say.

You know Steve isn't that, though. You know Steve is far, far more.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Steve took your hand into his own, interlocking your fingers with his. Your eyes grew large, and a pink blush dusted over your cheeks, but Steve didn't notice. His eyes stayed on the town below.

"This town is such a fucking shithole..." Steve said quietly as he absentmindedly ran his slender thumb over the back of your hand. You frowned a bit 

"It's not too ba-" you cut yourself off when Steve faced you.

He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. The look on his face said more than enough. Steve's gaze was soft but somewhat saddened.

"Steve?" you finally ask, then pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. "Why do you think you don't belong?" you finally asked.

Steve looked down at your interlocked hands. "Because... I don't know. This place is just full of bullshit people with bullshit brains. So many of them... They just- They aren't like you." He said this softly, calmly. Saying it out loud made his heartbeat in the back of his throat. It made his chest a little heavy.

You frown as you look at Steve, shaking your head a bit in confusion. "W-What does that even mean?" You asked, tone obviously confused. Your heart also began beating faster

Steve smiled a moment, looking up to the sky a moment. "Jeez, Y/N..." He bit his bottom lip a moment. Tearing his eyes away from the starry sky, placing them on you, smiling slightly more at your confused frown

Steve let out a deep breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding. His grasp on your hand became slightly tighter, though it still remained gentle and comforting. He smiled softly, remaining quiet for a few moments before saying "I like you, Y/N. I really, really like you."

A strong wave of realization hit you. First, your eyes grew large, then your mouth fell open. Your reaction was, simply, pure awe. Shock, even. Was Steve saying what you thought he was? Or- did you somehow misunderstand him?

Your silence began making Steve a bit nervous "C'mon, Y/N." He let out a quick, sharp breath that was a failed attempt at a chuckle. "You're scaring me." He said, beginning to frown slightly himself. Was telling you how he felt the right idea? Fuck, Steve was beginning to think it wasn't

You kept your eyes on Steve. "I umm..." You looked down a moment at your hands- how nicely they fit together, how nicely /you fit together. "I... like you too, Steve." You looked up to meet Steve's gaze again.

Steve surprised you when he let out a quick laugh. It made you flinch a bit, thinking this may have been a stupid joke. But then, you saw the bright smiling curled to Steve's lips. You hadn't ever seen such a brilliant and genuine and fucking /happy smile plastered on Steve's face before, on anyone's face for that matter.

It was a truly beautiful smile. One you thought you would remember forever. You thought, for a very quick moment, that you would want wanted to see that smile forever. It was a smile that filled you with happiness, with genuine gladness. That smile put you at more ease than any spoken words possibly could.

A small thought made itself comfortable in your mind. 'I want to see that smile every day until I die.' The thought wasn't alarming, invasive, or untrue. It was a comfortable, calming truth. It was like a warm weighted blanket or a mug of hot cocoa between cold hands.

Maybe someday you would tell Steve what you truly thought. But that day... it wasn't today

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Heat Haze Daze

song is Kangerou Days by Kagepro and was also my bop back in seventh grade

———————

With a chilling vibrato, Jane concluded her performance of At Last. Instantly, there was a booming swell of cheering and clapping, and a very radiant look of adoration from both Kitty and Joan. The silver queen smiled bashfully, but proudly and bowed. A second later, Anne crashed into her, spinning her around in a tight hug.

“Oh! My! God!!!” Anne exclaimed, clasping Jane’s hands in hers mere minutes after releasing her from the bear hug. “That was so amazing!! You did so good, Janey!!!”

“Oh please,” Jane waved a hand dismissively. “It wasn’t that good.”

“Don’t be modest,” Aragon said. “You have a wonderful voice, dear.” Her retort was backed up by several agreeing comments in the whirlwind of a comment section on the Live.

Jane blushed. “Thank you, Catalina. Thank you everyone, really!”

After a few more compliments and Jane struggling to not be humble, the Sunday Session was wrapped up.

Or so they all thought.

“W-wait-” A nervous, shaking voice squeaked. “I’m sorry. Can I sing something?”

They all looked over to their fidgety pianist, who can’t seem to stop tugging anxiously on the straps of her overalls. Suddenly, she looked a lot younger and her choice of outfit seemed a lot dumber, but fitting for her current shy demeanor. Only Joan would wear such a thing with a sunflower yellow shirt underneath, despite it being 2020.

“You?” Kitty said. She glanced Joan up and down, as if she were trying to find an ounce of vocal talent in her. “Why?”

“Because I want to.” Joan said, gathering herself up to her full size and this time not stammering, although she didn’t seem any more mature in those stupid overalls. “Please? I have this song I wanted to sing and I’ve really been practicing and...” She trailed off, opting to look up at the queen with hopeful eyes.

Despite most of them not being all that close with Joan, they had to admit that those puppy dog eyes were extremely effective, so they gave in and agreed. Instantly, Joan perked up. It seemed she wasn’t expecting them to say yes.

“Oh joy!” Joan exclaimed in glee. She skittered back over to her keyboard, tripping momentarily on one of the crisscrossing wires on the floor in her excitement. She nearly toppled over when she sat down in her stool, but regained her balance and flashed a grin at the queens and the phone pointed at her. “Ready?”

There’s a scattering of agreements, both in person and in the chat, although she couldn’t see those. She beamed again, then promptly straightened herself up and turned to her keyboard.

In an instant, her glowing smile and shimmering eyes were wiped, leaving her face blank and focused. But even then, it was clear her nerves were beginning to take over, knowing that tons of people, including the ones she desperately wanted to impress and the ones that didn’t like her at all, were there, watching her.

Joan’s stomach flipped at the thought of singing in front of so many fans and the queens. She’d sung before, but nothing like this. Not where other people really noticed or heard her. Stage fright began to get the better of her as she awkwardly fidgeted for a moment, then got her fingers into the right place and began to play an upbeat, fast-paced tune. A moment later, her voice resonated through the air.

“August 15th at 12:30 noon I don't see a cloud above

The sun is shining down, what a pretty day

So sick of this summer heat I can't beat away the haze

The rays are giving way

And spending all of my time having conversations sitting next to you”

The words, slightly rough from a lack of a vocal career, slide gently from her lips. They shake and shudder as they come out, but hold strong and don’t fracture on the tip of her tongue like a few of the queens and many of the viewers were expecting.

Joan was actually singing.

And she was singing good.

“"Hey but I...don't really like the summertime"

And as you were petting on that cat you said such a daring thing

Right from under your breath”

It was amazing. Sure, it was no Heart of Stone or All You Wanna Do, and maybe her voice wavered and strained on simple notes a few times, but Joan was actually doing really well. A lot better than anyone was expecting. In fact, Kitty had been betting that she would have failed the moment she opened her mouth.

“Ah, and as that cat had ran away

You tried to chase it in the end

Jumping right out in front of a

Traffic light that poured a shade of red bright red”

And then, things took a jarring twist.

“Crashing in and breaking you to bits

That truck a heard a scream a little bit too late

Blood dripping everywhere and choking your smell of hair

I breathe in a gulp of air and just can't take it

Are these lies? The heat is mocking me

"What you see is exactly what you're gonna get!"

And with the blue of sky I hear singing crickets cry and

Fall right back into another dark sleep”

It happened out of nowhere- the peaceful, serene song Joan had been singing suddenly wrenched around and turned into something much more sinister with enough force to give everyone watching whiplash. The warm summer day she sang of was gone, replaced by the gruesome image of a grueling car accident. And her tone helped portray that perfectly.

Joan’s voice was dripping with gore. It oozed from her lips like pus from an abscess and stained any ears that heard the lullaby of carnage she was harmonizing. Her eyes were lit up, too, wide and shining silver. She rocked back and forth as she sang, sometimes leaning forward against her keyboard on the more intense notes, only to lean back and relax on the lighter ones, although every word in that chorus seemed to be gratuitously gruesome.

And then, her words die off and the tune of her keyboard morphed back into a gentle, peaceful hum.

“Sitting up in my bed I could hear ticking clocks the shock

Will mock my ever ringing head

I look to see the time

August 14th at 12 something noon I don't see a cloud above

The sun is shining down

And yet I hear a cry of a cricket singing loudly in my head”

The queens were shocked into silence, and not just out of respect during a performance. They were genuinely stunned by the darkness of Joan’s song. And, yes, they knew that she had her own pent up emotions, but never in a million years did they expect their shy, soft-spoken, stuttering music director to ever sing such a thing.

It was startling. Actually startling.

“"Hey but I...I really have to wonder why

Because in the dream I had last night we sat in the

Same old park we are sitting at now

"Hey, I think the two of us should leave."

But stepping slightly off the path, their heads turned up towards sky

And were gaping pointing struggling to keep away a scream”

Something flashed in Joan’s eyes. The queens braced themselves.

“Stabbing holes and splitting you in two

The beam made seam as it fell straight from the sky

Ringing an old wind chime and shaking a passerby then filling the air

Until they hit those park trees

Are these lies? The heat is mocking me

"Bet you wish you were asleep, but it's not a dream!"

Vision it blurred away and keeping my thoughts at bay I swear you stood there while keeping such a dark smile”

A tidal wave of carnage spilled free from Joan’s lips and crashed over the queens. Another vivid death is laid out for them, this one somehow much worse than the first.

The reactions to such a thing were mixed.

Aragon had her chin raised in an impressed manner. She was stunned to see Joan sing such a thing, but proud nonetheless.

Anne looked a little dizzy, as she wasn’t the best with blood, even blood in a song. She shut her eyes, trying not to think about what was happening to the poor girl being sung about, but ultimately failing.

Jane was startled. The look in Joan’s eyes gave her chills, making her feel entirely exposed even though she’s just another face in the crowd at that moment, another spectator in the small Sunday Session audience.

Cleves hadn’t expected Joan of all people to sing a song like this. She didn’t think she had it in her, so the girl had her captivated.

Kitty was backed up against Jane, her face twisted with disgust and fear. She kept looking up at her mother, hoping her pleading eyes would make her yell at Joan to stop and shut up, but she was dismayed to see Jane far too engulfed in the song to notice her distress.

Cathy was intrigued. She never really took Joan for the type to sing, and yet, here she was. And her transitions from slow to fast, from relaxed to intense, from soft to loud, where smooth and amazing. Especially the one right after the first chorus- an elongated, downward spiral of madness.

“Endlessly I see that over heated haze

And again the laughing will repeat on through the days

You've been dying for the past ten years

We are trapped in cycles and the end is never clear”

Joan’s voice has softened, as was her playing. The notes echoed around the auditorium, soft and mournful. It sounded like the ghosts of ancient monarchs whispering from beneath the floorboards.

“But a story is a story all the same

And today like any has an ending so to say

Far away and out beyond that scorching summer day”

For a moment, all is silent. The queens get just a second to breathe and recover from the madness they had just heard, and then Joan is slamming her hands down on the keys and sliding them down the keyboard, causing an awful, but fitting shriek to pierce through the air.

“Crashing in and hitting me instead you

I pushed you aside to nearly dodge a truck

Blood dripping everywhere and choking my smell of hair

You breathe in a gulp of air and just can't take it

Are these lies? I haven't heard him say

"What you see is exactly what your gonna get"”

Her voice is soft at first, but then it builds up and up and up until it’s an uproar of blood-soaked words and shrill, screaming notes. Her eyes are lit up again, this time even brighter, and her vibrato shuddered in the air. At the last line, she suddenly leapt to her feet, knocking over her stool and continuing to play enthusiastically while keeping pace with her music.

“Maybe this summer day has finally gone away

But that's all I'll say so this is where it ends now”

Before the instrumental took over, she slammed her fingers down on the keys and cried over the wailing sound, singing louder and louder and louder.

“August 14th and sitting alone on a bed a girl awakes repeating just the same

Muttering again

"Guess I failed again.." as she sat all alone

And held a cat still cradled in her arms”

With a few final notes, the song concluded. Joan stumbled back, taking deep, heaving breaths. Sweat is dripping down her reddened face. She didn’t bother to wipe it away, instead whipping around to the queens with an eager expression.

“Well?” She said, beaming at their gobsmacked expressions. “What did you think?”

[aspiringauthorintraining]

Partners in Crime #4

"Have yourself, a merry little Christmas.."

Barry could hear the iconic Christmas song coming from inside the forensic lab, as he reached for the door. Walking inside he could see strings of fairy lights adorning the lab walls, and a section of the wall; where green Christmas lights were put up in the shape of a Christmas tree. There was rustling in the far back corner, behind the bookcase of chemicals.

"This would have been so much easier if he actually cleaned the lab like he said he would."

"Who are you talking to (Y/N)?" Barry chuckled, seeing her struggling to try putting up a box on the highest shelf.

"Aaahhhh!" She jumped at his voice, letting the box go. Barry grabbed it before it could hit the floor, and shatter whatever was in it. "Didn't you learn in school not to sneak up on people, while they're trying to put things on high shelves?" she questioned in annoyance.

"I don't think they teach you that in school."

He tried not to laugh at her attempt to put on a menacing face. She glared at him, before breaking into laughter as well.

"Well consider yourself taught then. Now go, and spread the knowledge my young cricket." He chuckled at her response, while putting up the box on the top shelf, with little effort.

"What are you up to lady?"

"Well, since you're a liar, I took it upon myself to clean your lab."

"Hey, it's our lab now."

"Oh, sorry. I meant YOUR MESS," she enunciated the last two words, poking his chest for emphasis.

Barry took a moment to look around the room to find it a lot cleaner than he had ever seen, since moving into the office. The scattered pile of papers that had been on the floor for four months, were now filed in their respective folders and placed neatly on his desk. The multiple dirty beakers that were left in the sink were now on the drying rack, spotless. The empty boxes of donuts were thrown away in the trash, and the table that previously housed said donuts, was cleaned and free of any debris. He could go on forever playing the game, 'Spot the Difference'.

"I'm sorry..." He rubbed his neck, embarrassed.

"Yes Barry, I know you're sorry. I think the whole police station calls you "Sorry" instead of "Barry" now," she teased. "Anyways, it's not a big deal. The mess didn't bother me too much."

He raised his eyebrows at her lie.

"Okay fine, it was bothering me a little. But cleaning is very therapeutic for me, so it really wasn't a big deal."

"Still, it was my mess. You should have let me clean it."

(Y/N) threw him an amused look. "You and I both know you would have never cleaned. And besides, I wanted to decorate the place with a little Christmas cheer, so I volunteered to clean it."

"Let me make it up to you, though. I feel bad for making you clean my mess." He knew that he wouldn't have cleaned it either way, and was thankful she ended up cleaning his mess.

"I told you, don't worry about it." (Y/N) tried assuring him, but he continued pleading.

"Please!" he begged her.

"Fine! I have one way you can make it up to me."

"Yes!" He felt victorious, winning the "argument". "What is it?"

"Well, a little birdie told me that you have the voice of an angel." She enjoyed watching his face turn red from embarrassment.

"W-what? Who told you that?" His voice became high and he could feel the burning of his cheeks.

"Caitlin and Iris." she was trying to refrain from laughing, not wanting to upset him. She didn't think his face could become any more red, but was proven wrong. He reminded her of one of the round shiny red ornaments. "I want you sing for me."

(Y/N)'s face brightened at a new idea that popped in her head. "Actually, better yet, I want you to go caroling in your neighborhood for me. Why should I be the only one to enjoy your beautiful voice?"

"No, absolutely not."

"Wow." She feigned a disappointed face, using her dramatic acting skills she learned from years of watching Korean dramas and Spanish soap operas. "I thought Barry Allen was a man of his word. I guess not."

"I am-"

"Nope, I don't want to hear it. I have lost my faith in men. What's the point, when they are all going to lie to you? Barry Allen, you are to blame if I end up shunning men for life and become a nun."

Barry sighed, knowing that her dramatic acting would not stop until he gave in.

"Fine." he muttered.

"Uh, what's that? I can't hear you. Did you just say another lie?" she teased, cupping her hand to her ear.

"Fine." he muttered, more loudly this time.

(Y/N) broke into her widest smile at the response. She danced a little victory dance, while making a mental note of the songs she was going to make him sing.

"What's got you jumping up and down?" Joe walking into the room, watching (Y/N) with amusement.

"Joe! You came in just the right time! Barry, here, has agreed to go Christmas caroling around the whole neighborhood!" She couldn't help but laugh, picturing Barry caroling by himself.

"Really?" Joe was surprised, shocked even, at the news. "You know I tried to get this kid to sing whenever we went to the karaoke bar? He threatened to quit his job."

Barry buried his face in his hands, attempting to block them out.

"Never underestimate a woman and her power of persuasion."

When their laughing died down, Barry took the opportunity to change the subject.

"Joe, did you need something?" He said a little grumpily.

"Actually, I just came up here to ask (Y/N) if she wanted to join us for our Christmas get-together."

(Y/N)'s eyes lit up, like the Christmas lights in the room.

"Really? I would love to!" Her expression turned worrisome for a moment. "Actually, I was planning to spend Christmas with Caitlin and Cisco. And Dr. Wells, whether he likes it or not."

"Barry was planning to invite them anyway. The more the merrier," the detective offered.

"That's settled then! I'll bring some of my brownies." she started planning in her head.

"That's not necessary, you don't need to bring anything-"

Barry interrupted Joe's sentence. "Joe, let her bring her brownies. Caitlin told me stories about them; they're the best you'll ever taste. Even Dr. Wells agreed." He was a little curious how good they were to have won over Dr. Wells.

(Y/N) patted her friend on the back. "You flatter me, my good man."

"Well, if you don't mind (Y/N)."

"Consider it done! It's really not a problem making them!" (Y/N) beamed at Joe, remembering to thank him for the invitation. "Thank you for inviting me!"

"Well, then I will see you both tomorrow night then!" Joe waved at the two, then left to take care of other matters.

"Iris is going to be there." Barry brought up, watching the detective leave.

"Cool?" (Y/N) responded, unsure why he was telling her this piece of information.

"You promised to help me with Iris?" Barry jogged her memory to a before, when she promised him to help with his love life.

"Right, listen Barry-"

"Oh no you don't. If I have to keep my promises, you have to keep yours."

"But-"

"If you back out, I won't have to carol around the neighborhood. You know what? Don't help me. Then I don't have to carol anymore." Barry grinned at the dilemma (Y/N) faced.

"Ugh, fine. I'll help you, she begrudgingly agreed. "But like I said, whatever happens, you better not blame me, mister."

"Sure, whatever." he agreed.

"Oh, and Barry?"

"What?" His mind was now occupied on how to rope her into going caroling with him.

"I'll make sure to make buy some figgy pudding for you." she teased.

[hanhan156]

Revelations

The fic number 4 for my Stadium Tour series!

I got tired of writing short stories so instead, I wanted to write something longer and continue with the Stadium Tour series.

I tried something new in my writing and had these poems stuck in my head so I couldn't resist using them.

-

Chapter 1: Prelude

~***~

My weakness, my fragility,

My dream, my passion,

My lust for life, the reason for walking on this Earth.

You are my everything.

~***~

The chirring of crickets and the screams of psychedelic colored paradise birds were deafening as he tried his best to proceed in the lush jungle. He was swearing at himself - why he had chosen to wear these unpractical, tight clothes again and why on earth he hadn’t taken a machete with him? Even his dreams were referring to his fashion sense and a lack of preparation for harsh conditions. Richard was still determined: in his heart, he knew that he had to continue, at any costs, even though he wasn’t sure why he was here.

His attention was caught by a movement - an animal? No, it couldn’t be: he heard laughter so it had to be actually someone. Adrenaline rushed in his veins - he couldn’t even believe how fast he was able to run in the difficult conditions with the aid of the hormone.

“Wait!” he shouted when he got a glimpse of a silhouette vaguely, but the figure was still too far. He took a sprint - he couldn’t afford to lose him now when he was so close.

After wading his way through the bushes, Richard had scratches and bruises everywhere. He wondered did he got bitten by a snake as well while his left foot was swollen, but now it didn’t matter - he had something more important to think about.

The jungle ended to a cave and on the entrance of it was the figure he’d been chasing.

Of course, it was him.

“Paul, thank God you are here. What is this all about? What the hell is this lousy place anyway, let’s get out of here.”

The other man smirked but didn’t reply anything - he seemed like he had lost his ability to speak. Instead, he made his way to the cave.

Richard grabbed his fellow guitarist from his arm, refusing to lose him now when he was so close. “Paul, for Christ’s sake, give me answers!”

But Paul shook himself out of the grip and then he was gone - vanished like in thin air. Not a single word, or any kind of hint he had even noticed that Richard had been talking to him.

“Answers, I need answers…” Richard kept repeating. He didn’t even know what answers he wanted - it was like a fixation in his head. “I need answers…and I need you…”

The first dream ended, and it was followed by a brief pause - like a commercial break of his subconscious mind.

Now he was in another setting. Once again, he didn’t have any clue what place it was exactly, but it sure was pleasant with all the palm trees on a long white beach and sun shining brightly. He knew he was looking for something, but he couldn’t put his finger on, what or who - the memories from the last dream had vanished with the commercial break.

But he didn’t have to ponder that for very long when something caught his interest.

When Richard came closer, he saw it more clearly what was it about:  Paul was there with a company of a lot of men and to Richard’s horror, they were way younger - and in his opinion, way better looking - than him. He couldn’t help it but think that what kind of orgy was this.

“What’s going on in here?” he asked and didn’t want to admit the twitch of jealousy in his belly.

“Well, I’m just enjoying my life the fullest.” At least in this dream, Paul seemed to able to speak.

“That sure looks nice,” Richard said and looked around, “can I join you?”

Paul glanced at the other man with narrow eyes. “No, this is my life now, you get your own,” he burst out and laughed, with unusual cruelty. “You really fucking think I’d want to spend my precious life with you? Oh, Kruspe, how naïve you really are...”

Richard blinked his eyes. “B-but we have known for ages… I-I thought we were friends…”

“In that case, I suggest you think again, you lousy example of a human being.” Paul came closer and hissed: “You repulse me… get out of my life. I don’t need you. In fact, my life is much better without you. Our friendship was the biggest mistake I ever made.”

Richard couldn’t believe what he heard. “W-what about all those moments we spent together? The time we…we…kissed?”

“Don’t you even dare to remind me of that disgusting event.” Paul turned his back, leaving Richard sobbing alone at the paradise beach. ”You can still keep dreaming on, I don’t really care!” he shouted the one last time before he was gone.

“Don’t leave me like this…” Richard sobbed, but nobody could hear him. “I…love you.”

The torment ended when Richard woke up to his own screaming - he thanked God that he was alone. Panting heavily on the edge of a panic attack he sat up and threw the sweaty bedsheets away. It was annoying to admit that the nightmares were back but this time, they weren’t about the tour stress - it was something more complicated.

Always when he tried to bury something unpleasant to his subconscious mind, it kept coming back whatever he tried to do.

~***~

Oh how desperately I beg you,

To answer my call,

In the void of the darkest hour.

~***~

“Prost!” the six men yelled cheerfully, taking their tradition tequilas to soothe the nervousness of the upcoming concert. Sharing shots together was supposed to bring good luck - but as the legend told the luck was involved only if you remembered to look at each of your drinking buddies straight in the eyes.

But the one particular pair of eyes Richard desperately wanted to have contact with, ignored him.

“Okay, gotta keep going, we have a show to play,” Paul said and left the room in a hurry. Richard was sure that his friend suddenly turned busy on purpose because he was there.

It had become too familiar: all he had seen from Paul during recent weeks was his back, always heading somewhere.

Somewhere, where Richard wasn’t.

After all, it seemed that the stadium tour - with all its hardships and countless hours of groundwork, arguments and sleepless nights - had started out as a success. Even though performing was Richard’s natural element and he had been waiting for this eagerly, now all the fame and attention felt nonchalant - something was bothering him constantly, like an itch you couldn’t get rid of no matter how hard you tried.

That something was that they hadn’t had proper communication with Paul after that one faithful night - it was already several weeks ago. Richard didn’t even dare to recall how many weeks really.

They both seemed to become masters of excuses: either they were too tired, too busy or something interrupted them when things could have had a chance to get too deep. And what was the worst, was that how evidently Paul avoided him.

I can’t keep going on like this.

Blinking back upcoming tears Richard suddenly realized that he was the only one in the room. Why hadn’t they say anything? Maybe they had, but he had been so deeply in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed anything.

For fuck’s sake, try to concentrate now. You have a job to do.

Forcing himself to act, Richard walked to the backstage, grabbing his instrument on the way. His bandmates were already doing their pre-concert rituals when he arrived. Till was opening his voice, isolated in the darkest corner possible. It made him lose his focus if somebody stared at his awkward humming and stretching. For everyone’s relief, Flake had finished his walk already and was for once ready on time. Usually, he tended to take a stroll just in the last minute, losing the sense of time and leading him to arrive late back to the venue - it wasn’t once or twice when the keyboardist had gotten scolding from the others. Even though how modest man Flake was, he was irreplaceable - Du hast or Sehnsucht without keyboard effects would be a disaster. Schneider was doing push-ups - he claimed that exercising helped to handle the physical symptoms of stress. Oliver seemed to be deeply in his own thoughts in a yoga pose, being the calmest of them while Paul was simply being himself, sitting on the floor and smiling - he didn’t have any specific rituals. Richard did the usual: fiddling the fretboard, repeating over and over the riffs he could play even in his dreams. Still, he had all kinds of horror scenarios in his head from a broken string to a guitar being in wrong tuning.

The nerve-wracking waiting seemed to last forever and forever but when Duo Jatekok had hit its last melodies, the roaring audience was desperately waiting to see the reason they had come to the stadium in the first place.

Till appeared from his isolation back with the others. “Okay guys, this is it then.” They formed a circle together and held hands. “Let’s hope the muse is with us tonight and let’s kick some ass - let’s show them something they’ve never seen before. And most importantly, we’ll stick together and support each other, whatever happens there.

Amen.”

“Amen,” they all replied. The atmosphere was ardent - music was indeed like a religion for them.

They placed themselves on the line which had been rehearsed probably a thousand times already. The opening was supposed to be a dramatic introduction of the band, Schneider going there first to pierce the souls of the audience with his mesmerizing bass drum.

While Richard stood right behind their drummer, breathing shallowly, out of nowhere he felt a hand squeezing his shoulder gently. “Vielen Glück.”

When he turned, he startled when he saw who it was. “Good luck to you too…Paul,” Richard replied with a slightly trembling voice and hoped it wasn’t too noticeable.

“Let’s have a hell of a show and see you on the stage.” Paul smiled so adorably that Richard’s heart melted just a tiny bit.

“Yeah, same to you….” he mumbled when the other guitarist was already back in his own place.

The focus was once again gone. Richard exhaled and closed his eyes. Okay, now concentrate for Christ’s sake. Emotional shit can wait. Don’t let your feelings ruin your performance. Let’s deal with this later.

In his heart he knew that tonight, after the concert, he had to do something for this situation - it couldn’t continue like this, them both avoiding each other and just occasionally communicating awkwardly. It was far from normal when even Paul’s slightest presence alarmed him. Overanalyzing had already made him crazy.

Richard decided that tonight, he had to stop being a coward and drag Paul somewhere and tell him.

But what could he say exactly?  

It was difficult to tell but at least he wished from the bottom of his heart that they could be their normal selves again if it was even possible anymore.

I have to do it. Tonight. No lousy excuses anymore.

Richard wasn’t sure which one was more stressing: playing a concert for thousands of people or confessing his love and longing for his long-time friend.

In this case, perhaps, the latter.

After an announcement in Spanish, the atmosphere turned serious and nobody spoke or joked anymore. Even though how many times they had done this it was always like the first time - every concert acted as it’s own and you’d never know what was going to happen. That was the scariest, yet the most fascinating part of being a musician and this was the thing Richard knew he was born to do. He was totally hooked to the feeling music was able to give him - it was like a drug, but a million times better.

He also knew that he couldn’t get rid of this group of friends he had grown so attached to during the many years spent together. His destiny was bound to them - especially to the one for whom he was ready to do anything. Even throw himself into a lion’s den, if necessary.

When Royal Fireworks’ last notes faded, Schneider took a step forward and raised his thumb up, turning to his bandmates the one last time. “Let’s give them a night of their lives,” he whispered, before entering the stage with a smirk.

Richard squeezed his guitar with sweaty hands - only a couple of seconds was left for his turn. “Please, don’t fail tonight,” he muttered at himself. Give me strength for this and for the rest of the evening, whatever will happen, he prayed in his mind but didn’t know to whom exactly.

[sockablock]

@fanboyingduringteatime​ you know what you did 

Literacy, Among Other Things (AO3)

“Molly, why didn’t you tell us you’d been to Goldcrest before?” Jester asked curiously.

They were all piled into the cart, bouncing along the dirt path that led northwards to the Ashkeeper Peaks. Fjord and Nott sat at the head, steering the horses, as Caleb kept watch on the left flank and Beau attempted to focus on the right—though she kept throwing glances over her shoulder at a certain someone, seated in the back and gazing peacefully at the clouds. Jester had a napping Kiri snuggled in her lap, and was staring at Molly with rapt attention.

He lowered his cards, and shrugged. “Dunno,” he said. “I guess I didn’t realize where I was.”

She giggled at that and raised an eyebrow. “How could you not, though? Didn’t anybody say where you were going? Didn’t anybody announce the plans? Or didn’t you at least read the sign of the town as you were going in?”

Molly leaned back against the pole supporting their canopy and smiled lazily. “All the towns blur together after a while, dear. And honestly, I can’t be bothered with boring things like that. I’m…hmm, how to say this…functionally illiterate, I suppose.”

“Illiterate?” Fjord called from the front of the wagon. “Illiterate?”

“What, really?” Jester exclaimed.

“You can’t read?” asked Beau, immediately leaning in.

“He is only two,” mused Nott without looking back.

“Go fuck yourself,” muttered Kiri, stirring from her nap. Jester gave her a soothing pat on the head, and Molly rolled his eyes.

“Functionally illiterate,” he sighed, “not actually illiterate. There is a difference.”

“Which is?” Beau prompted skeptically. “I would joke that one starts with an ‘f’ but if you can’t read, then—”

“I can read, asshole,” Molly scowled. “I’ve read plenty of job postings and I even read the first chapter of Tusk Love, remember? I just mean that…that…I don’t know, I don’t retain the information, or something like that. It just doesn’t matter.”

“Molly is not one for books,” Yasha supplied. “But I will assure you all that he is capable of reading.”

“But don’t you like stories?” Jester pressed. “Don’t you like adventures and songs and drama and romance and—”

Molly put up a hand. “Of course I do, dear, of course I do. But I don’t need ink and parchment for that. I can just go to a bar, sit back, get a drink, listen to a minstrel weave a tale. It’s alive that way. On paper it’s just dialogue and plot and, and…literary devices and what have you. But when someone sings it, or reads it, or stands in front of a crowd and spins it into reality, well, that’s where the tension is, where the thrills are, where the stories live. I understand words on a page, I don’t understand why people bother.”

There was a brief silence following that.

“I feel like I should clap or something,” said Beau, shuffling in the cart and turning back to face the landscape rolling by. “I don’t totally get it, but nice speech.”

“I sort of get it,” said Jester, giving Molly a supportive pat on the knee. “Personally I think I like books more, you know, just because I read a lot growing up and I just think they’re really wonderful to have around. But, but, your thing makes sense too.”

“Sailors are like that,” Fjord added helpfully. “They prefer spoken tales and shanties to gettin’ things from books.”

“You are valid, Molly,” said Yasha as she went back to her watch.

Nott shook her head and raised an eyebrow at Caleb. “Don’t you have anything to say?” she asked. “You love books, aren’t you going to defend them? Aren’t they amazing and great and have so much knowledge? Aren’t they the best ever, and don’t you want to get your hands on every one you can find?”

Caleb, who had remained silent this whole time, turned and met Nott’s confused gaze. Then he looked at Molly and shrugged. “Everybody is entitled to their own beliefs,” he said quietly. “I do not find any problems with that, and I do not think anybody should. There is nothing wrong with not being a reader.”

Molly blinked in surprise. Then he stuck his tongue out at Nott, settled back into his lounging position, and pulled his deck back out. “Thank you, dear,” he grinned at Caleb. “For your delightful support.”

Caleb shrugged again. “Kein problem,” he said, and turned back to the hills rolling by.

-------------------------------------------

Molly and Caleb had first watch that night in the forest off the road. The others had already retired to their sleeping rolls after a long day’s travel, tent flaps drawn shut and snoring quietly.

The two of them sat alone beside the glowing campfire. They both lounged in the grass, leaning against a large boulder and staring through a break in the canopy at the moon glowing above. Fireflies twinkled gently around them.

It was silent, save for their breathing, and the gentle hum of crickets. Then Caleb blinked, and looked over, and very softly, asked a question:

“Do you know the story of the magpie and the milkmaid?”

Molly was extremely taken aback by this, but recovered quickly and magnificently.

“Can’t say I’ve ever heard that one, dear,” he said.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Caleb nod solemnly.

“What about the tale of the farmer, his son, and the donkey?”

“No?” Molly said hesitantly. “I haven’t heard that one either.”

“The crow and the peacock?”

“Er…no.”

“The lion and the mouse.”

“Again, no.”

“The fox and the grapes?”

“Are you just describing dumb animals getting into shitty situations?”

“The frog in the well?”

“Caleb, I haven’t—”

“The three monks and the hill.”

“Dear—”

“The monkey and the peach? Or the cricket and the ant? Or the mouse in the larder or the farmer under the tree or the sword in the lake or the spear-seller and the shield or the—”

“Caleb, Caleb, for gods’ sake! No, I haven’t heard any of these bloody tales, alright? Fuck, no.”

“…the scorpion and the frog?”

He hesitated. “Alright,” he conceded begrudgingly, “I have heard that one.”

Caleb gave another nod, which was starting to get on his nerves. “But you have not heard any of the others?

Molly groaned, and let the back of his head—and horns—hit the boulder behind him. “No, dear, I have not.”

“I see. Well, I have,” he said, and turned towards Molly with an unreadable expression. “I know them well. In fact, I know them very well. Those were the first stories I learned to read.”

Molly groaned again, louder this time, and sagged down the rock until his back was in the grass and he was staring up at the stars. He closed his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you were lying before, Mister Caleb,” he grumbled. “Don’t tell me you’re about to lecture me on how important it is to read, and how I should practice or something, and how I should respect the written word—”

“No,” said Caleb, and Molly paused. “I was not going to say anything of that sort. I was actually going to say, again, that I have been thinking on your statement from earlier, and I understand what you are going through. I am bad at communication. Now more than ever, but even as a child I was not very good. And my parents would try to teach me things, and the elders would try to lecture at me, and my friends would try and tell me stories, but for some reason, I could never understand. Perhaps they spoke too quickly, or perhaps their speech was muddy, or maybe I myself could not keep up. I was called slow, you know, by a number of people. This was when I was very young.”

Caleb looked back up at the quiet night sky, and pressed his back against the rock.

“Then Oma Müller, who lived a few houses down, she taught me to read. Those very stories, from a book she had. And maybe it was because I was in control of the language, and I could choose the speed and I was doing the telling, but suddenly I could understand. I could understand very well. Eventually I figured out how to listen to others too. And before I knew it, I was not ‘slow’ or ‘simple’ anymore. I was bright. Intelligent. Even brilliant, some said. That wasn’t really the case, though, not really. I just found what worked for me. And if hearing things works for you, and you know this to be true, then that is wonderful, and I am happy for you.”

They were silent for a moment. Molly felt a strange knot in his chest unwind.

“Oh,” he said quietly, and tried to clear his throat. “Oh. Um…thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

This made Molly chuckle, and his jewelry jingled softly. “I’m…er…glad you think that. I’ll admit, I didn’t really want to say anything about this before. I didn’t…I didn’t want you to think that I was dumb, I guess.”

Caleb frowned. “Was?” he asked. “What do you mean, by that?”

“You’re smart, obviously, and everybody knows it,” Molly said with a wave of his hand. “And you spend all your time pouring through tomes and shopping for books and reading papers and whatnot. I barely read, so obviously, in comparison…”

Caleb shook his head adamantly. “Smarts is not only in books. I am an idiot in social situations, you are the genius there. It is a matter of context. And it is different for everyone.”

Molly grinned at that. “Now that is something I’d agree with,” he said with a strange lightness to his tone. “You’re…you are quite clever, Mister Caleb.”

He could have sworn there was a faint smile across Caleb’s face as the wizard said, quietly, “You as well, Mister Mollymauk.”

They sat in the evening quiet for a while. Then Molly, still lounging in the grass with his hands folded behind his head, frowned.

“If you were just going to go ahead and reaffirm my whole…deal, or whatever,” he said curiously, “then why did you name all those stories and ask if I knew them? What was the point of that?”

Caleb shifted sheepishly and glanced down at Molly, whose eyes were closed though his brow was furrowed.

“I…er…I was going to offer to tell them to you, actually,” he said. “Um…if you would like. They are only children’s stories,” he added hastily, “but, well, they are meaningful to me and if you have never heard them before, and I know you are probably not going to read them, then at least I could make sure you will be familiar with them from here on out, if you want, er…”

As he trailed off, he saw a bright grin creep across Molly’s face. His human vision was too weak to see, but a faint purple blush danced across the other man’s cheeks.

“I’d love that, Mister Caleb,” hummed Molly. “I think that sounds lovely.”

Caleb felt the edges of his own lips begin to quirk upwards. In the darkness, hidden by night, a tiny smile broke his usual stoic mask.

“Alright then, Mister Mollymauk,” he murmured back. “Which one would you like to hear?”

Molly considered this for a moment, face scrunching up as if in deep thought.

“How about the one with the peacock?”

Caleb laughed. It was soft, and barely audible, but it was one of the brightest and gentlest sounds Molly had ever heard.

“Alright, of course. The Crow and the Peacock it is.”

“Does it have a happy ending?”

Caleb considered this for a moment. “Not really,” he admitted. “But it’s got some pretty good life lessons, and if you’d like, maybe we could add a…an…epilogue, of sorts, to make sure it does.”

Molly laughed at that. “Have at it, then.”

Caleb leaned back against the rock and gazed up at the moon. He felt the grass rustle, and then Molly’s elbow rested lightly against his thigh. He startled, and his eyes went wide, but did not move away.

Instead, after taking a moment to collect himself, he cleared his throat and very quietly, so as not to wake the others, began:

“Es war einmal, there was a flock of crows that lived in a tree together just above a group of peacocks. One day, one of the crows noticed his reflection when he was getting a drink at a lake. I am so plain, and so boring, he thought to himself, I wish I was beautiful like the peacocks. So, the next day, he flew to where the peacocks lived and found a feather lying on the ground…”

And down in the grass, eyes closed and chest feeling warm, Molly let the lilting music of Caleb’s story wash over him.

Their campfire crackled beside them. The moonlight hummed, the fireflies whispered, and crickets chirped softly in the distance.

[all-about-wannaone]

2/100 Ways To Say I Love You

Pairing: Bae Jinyoung x OC (Gong Yoojung)

Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, Slice of Life

Prompt: “It reminded me of you.”

Words: 2201

A/N: Truth be told, I actually wrote 10 of these during my hiatus but I did not post any of them due to the fact that I only wrote them as a form of stress relief, but I had no time to proof read them. :( Now that my exams are over (3 days ago actually), I’m so excited to be able to write, edit and share them with all of you, Wannable or not. :) Thank you for flooding my inbox with scenario requests, written ships and just some encouraging messages. <3 You guys are truly the best and do keep looking forward to them! :) I shall stop rambling and happy reading everyone!  

The pale yellow moon hung in the night sky, with its light filtering through the trees surrounding this empty patch of grass, which was supposedly situated in the heart of Korea University. Furthermore, the moon also seemed to be nestled in a sky full of stars that winked back at me playfully.

I was never one to watch the stars, which seemed a little strange, but in a life full of glitz and glamour, it was difficult to appreciate the little things, simply because they passed by so quickly. When I was not doing anything with regards to blogging or my social life, such as attending events, I was either cooped up in the library or my dorm room studying for the upcoming examinations.

Hence, it was as if stargazing had become a breath of fresh air for me. As I observed them, I started to notice areas of the sky where the stars were birthstone blue and beautiful— all glitter in their heavenly finery. The ones far away, almost as if they were out of human comprehension, were like flashing pinpricks in a veil of darkness. They had a faint, silver tint and seemed like glittering sparks from angel fire.

It almost seemed like they were beacons of hope for the lost souls here, or so I thought, and I felt privileged to have witnessed such a phenomenon.

“It’s pretty isn’t it?”

And I turned around, only to meet the gentle gaze from my boyfriend, Bae Jinyoung. He shot me a small smile, before looking back up at the sky and said, “Aren’t you glad you came out for once? You clearly needed a breather from all that heavy biology and chemistry content. Indeed, I admire you for actually willing to study medicine, even if it was against your will.”

With that, I placed a hand behind my head, letting his words sink in, and he was right. Only God would know why I continued to stick with the study of medicine, considering that I could have done so much better in the Social Sciences. Then again, my parents owned a pharmaceutical company, and they clearly needed someone to pass the baton to when it was time. Hence, I simply had no choice but to keep up the tradition.

In fact, they would probably be disappointed if they found out about the second life that I led in the wide webisphere, lamenting and nagging endlessly about how I should spend my life doing useful things “for the benefit of the world”, they said. Given the time we spent with each other every year, there was hardly any time for us to understand one another anyway. Therefore, combined with how stubborn they were, I was not going to be surprised if I ended up disowned for things that I truly wanted to pursue.

No, I did not hate studying medicine. In fact, I did not mind it, because I had an interest in Chemistry and Biology, but there was just so much more that I wanted. I understood why I had to do this, but there were times when I wished that they could have been a little more accepting, instead of dismissing me immediately and telling me that they had no time to deal with my apparent stubbornness.

“Hey… You alright?”

And I turned around once more, only to realise that Jinyoung was way closer this time around, and our faces were merely inches away from each other. At the distance, I could not help but to feel all warm and fuzzy inside, getting a sense of comfort and feeling the tension in my shoulders and neck ease.

“W-why wouldn’t I be okay?” I stammered in response, seeing that he had probably read my mind and he sighed in response.

“I don’t know… You just seem quieter than usual today.”

I chuckled at that statement a little and said in a pretty convincing manner, “I… was just thinking about how this is my first time actually taking the time off to appreciate the things around me, especially on a rugby field that has probably become our second home. Thanks Baejin.”

He smiled at that comment bashfully and despite the dim light, it was clear enough to see that he had gotten shy too. He was rubbing his eyes a little with his free hand, and that was his way of conveying his sentiments of shyness. It was adorable, to say the least, and it definitely made one want to squeeze his adorable and soft cheeks.

We retreated back to a comfortable silence, listening to the wind as it howled over our entire being, causing the leaves in the trees to rustle. In addition, there was also the sound of crickets creaking nearby, adding on to the feeling of freedom that nature always seemed to bring.

“So…” Jinyoung asked curiously, breaking the silence, “Have you told your parents that you wanted to pursue a double degree?”

“Uhhh…”

And that was when my jar of emotions that I had been trying so hard to keep intact shattered, and I felt the bitter tears cascade down my cheek. Thankfully, the lights were dimmer than usual, and he was still looking at the stars, watching them as if his eyes twinkled along with them. Surely he would not have noticed.

“Are you… crying?”

Damn it, way to go Yoojung. You thought you could fool someone who studies Anthropology and is on his way to achieving a degree in Psychology too? What a way to think.

I sighed, chuckling a little and wiping the tears with the sleeve of my pullover while dabbing my eyes gently.

“Ha… Just when I thought I could fool a anthropologist-cum-psychologist. I guess I was wrong huh?”

I tried my best to plaster a smile on my face, but I was only reciprocated with a gaze of sadness and pity from Jinyoung, and that was when he decided to come even closer. Next, he used his strength to live me up slightly and made sure that his arms could be wrapped around me, before pulling me tighter into a warm embrace.

Yes, it was a little unromantic, but it was as if I had been protected with a blanket of warmth, shielding me from the cold reality of the world. My head was on his chest, and I could hear his steady and calm heartbeat, which definitely put me at ease for once. I took in a deep breath, but it felt as if more tears were threatening to fall at this point, and he could probably hear how hard I tried to keep myself together.

“Just let it all out.”

And so I did, for a pretty long time in fact, as I let out all the stresses and pressure that I had been carrying on my shoulders after putting in so much effort to convince my parents into letting me do what I wanted to do. At the end of the day, it was all in vain anyway, so why bother trying again?

Finally, it was as if I had managed to let most of my emotions go, drenching Jinyoung’s white shirt in the process. I apologised when I realised what I had done, of course, but he only smiled and shook his head, stroking my hair lovingly as I adjusted myself to be even closer and placed an arm on his torso.

“People usually cuddle in beds, Jung, not in the middle of a rugby field.”

I could not help but to laugh heartily at the statement (as I continued to cry the last of my tears), teasing, “Geez, who knew that this quiet master of Anthropology could have such cute and hilarious comments?”

“Aishhh… I’m not cute.” He replied and pouted, but I only gave him a kiss on the cheek, turning him once again into a beetroot.

After some time, Jinyoung broke the silence again, asking in a calm tone, “Jung, do you remember the set of succulents that I gave you?”

“Of course I do,” I scoffed, “Seonha told me of how you nearly threw it at her when you realised that I was not at home. How could I forget? I laughed till my sides hurt when I heard the story.”

He rolled his eyes and I laughed again, before he himself could no longer hold it in anymore, and the both of us ended up laughing in good spirit. My tears were already gone and I definitely felt more free after I had let go of all my emotions, even if it meant leaving Jinyoung with a translucent patch on his shoulder from my tears. Thankfully, he did not seem to mind, assuring me that the wind would take care of it.

“Anyway, why did you get me a set of succulents? I love them, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not something you give to your crush, I assume?”

“Well…” He paused, letting out an embarrassed chuckle and continued, “I g-got that for you b-b-because it reminded me of y-you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Okay, I didn’t mean for it to have that kind of association. I swear —“

“I’m just kidding, Bae, live a little. C’mon, amuse me.” I replied with a smirk and he only shook his head, thinking of the proper words to use, ensuring that it did not bring about any form of negative connotation.

“Firstly, you know how succulents and cacti survive in harsh environments with crazy temperatures such as deserts?”

“Yes genius.”

“Stop ruining the moment!” He exclaimed, trying his best to be serious, only to be reduced to a shy giggly mess.

“Like those succulents, you were a pretty tough cookie, both on the outside and the inside. You joined touch rugby, despite having no prior experience, intimidated the life out of me when I ended up at the wrong training session… In addition, you stood up against those who did not like you too much, despite you being well loved by a vast majority.”

“You stood up for me though…” I said, voice trailing off as I thought back to that one moment which I never expected a person like Jinyoung to get involved.

“I did, but what I admired about you was that you were able to put all that negativity behind and continued to pursue your interests at heart. It didn’t matter what people said, because you were going to go against the odds anyway.”

I found myself smiling little by little at Jinyoung’s words and truth be told, I had never expected those to come from someone as quiet, shy and introverted as he was. He was a man of few words, showing his love and affection through his actions rather than painstakingly trying to put together an entire monologue on how grateful he was, or how much he loved.

“Oh, and before I forget…”

“There’s more?” I asked, a little surprised that he could come up with such a long analogy for a gift of succulents. However, he was also a student from the school of the Arts and the Social Sciences, and did a short module on Philosophy. Hence, what could we not expect then?

“I’m not sure how true this is, but given the fact that cacti and succulents store water, which is also something that gives life, isn’t that you in a nutshell? You’re tough, independent, capable and yet, you are someone who, despite her prickly nature and impression, gives people life, positivity and happiness, just by your presence alone.”

“Awwww…”

Indeed, I could not help but coo as I experienced a tug of my heartstrings with his short, yet sweet words. For once, I was lost for words, and even struggled to say a word of gratitude, knowing that I would probably turn into a cloud at some point.

“T-thanks Bae. I-I really appreciate that. B-By the way, your succulents are still alive and well. They’re growing little by little, but they’re still healthy, just in case you were doubting my capabilities on taking care of such a hardy plant.”

“No, I know you would take care of it well, because underneath all that exterior is a pure and innocent girl who would not even dare to kill a fly. Indeed, I fell in love with someone who could do both; charismatic on the field, a genius in presentations and an eye for aesthetics on your blog, but just a sweet, lovable and simple girl on the inside.”

“You were a brave soul really and even Daniel warned you that I wasn’t easy. I’m surprised you kept going for it, even after knowing that I had rejected many others before you.” I replied.

He smiled at the thought and sighed, before replying and ending it off once and for all with a sweet and soft kiss on my lips.

“Perhaps they were all too scared to do so and the same went for you. Only the brave and curious would dare hug a cactus and besides, you were the girl of my dreams. Like my mother always told me— sometimes, all you have to do is muster the courage and follow your dreams.”

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[knbatenarutosramen]

Kurokox Reader - Wasn't as I thought

Nsfw pls don’t read when uncomfortable with! Sexual content following! Last chance to skip ! 3…2….1… I warned you

I was inspired by @kurokonofantasies post of @fulcrumisthebomb Let’s begin~

You and him decided to take a step further into your current relationship and decided to try to get your bound to a whole new level. It was your first night as husband and wife and you know what that means. Although you know you’re ready, you still are pretty nervous. Good thing you asked your bestfriend/s for advise or you would be a total wreck. You are spending you honeymoon in Italy in a big resort, good thing your brother (surprise. Now you have one) owns it. Kuroko was on the balcony waiting for you to join him and look together at the moon that shone brighter than ever this night. You talked to him a few days before the wedding and he kissed your hands reassuring you that everything will be alright and you don’t need to do it on the first night if you are not comfortable with it. That’s one of the many things you love him for , he always has patience with you and accepts you the way you are and doesn’t judge you for what you feel. He is truly a man full of love from the inside and the outside. You are in the bathroom right now, skipping through a imaginary checklist in your head and after the fifth time checking everything and a little touch up on your hair and (f/c) lingerie you were finally satisfied with your image and prepared for the night that awaits you starting from now “Tetsuya” you said his name, even almost whispering it when you stepped out the door. Slightly cold air brushed past your shoulders as your heart starts to beat louder and you felt a tingly feeling in your stomach. You thought you’re going to collapse as he turns around to see where the familiar voice he wanted to hear everyday comes from, only to be breath taken from your shining skin in the moonlight. Soft noise of crickets can be heard mixing up with the faint sound of the gentle rush of the sea. “W-wow” was all he could say that moment as he took steps into your direction. You could feel the nervousness of you both when he put his hands on your waist to push your bodies closer together. “Are you ready?” His voice fluttered lightly as you and him made your way to the bed you will be sharing for two weeks. The tension rose when he laid you on the bed and layed on top of you, resting his arm on the side left to you. “You know that I love you, right?” He kissed your cheek. “I love you, too Tetsu. I know I can trust you” Those were the last sentences as you felt his warm lips on yours. It was as if the passion in both of you exploded when the kiss you shared heated up. He started to roam his hands on your sides, from your ribs down to your waist down to your hips as he started to kiss down your neck. You let out a moan as you laid your head back in pleasure. You felt your body heat up and started to feel a slight tingling when he grinded onto your core. You switched places when you turnt the positions so you were on top of him. The kissing stopped when you removed his shirt and started fumble his abs. In response to that he groped you butt as you let out a moan. Even when it only lasted a second, the way he looked you in the eye was the moment when you knew he was the one. He sat up so you sat on his legs, right on his crotch and started removing all your clothes. You felt him removing your bra- oh wait that’s a long time he takes to remove it. Is he perhaps… struggling with? You let out a really loud snort with your laughter following when you grabbed behind your back to remove it yourself. You looked to see Tetsuyas red flushed face as he looked really lost and removed his hand from your body. Way to ruin the mood, (Y/N) . “I’m sorry I won’t laugh again” you said as you hugged him. You connected your lips with his when you felt something poke you on your stomach. He layed you on your back again and removed your panties along with the straps and stockings. He kissed you on places lower and lower just to meet your pulsating womanhood when his hot breath felt cold against it as he breathes through his mouth. You didn’t know what to expect so you grabbed his hand that layed on you stomach and held it tightly. You let out a moan with pleasure when his thin and wet tongue licked down your clit and slit. You probably smell like fish there, you thought so you kind of tried to get him out of there involuntarily through pushing your legs a bit closer together only to have them pushed open again by tetsuyas Hand. You couldn’t even think of keeping your moans and groans in. How could you with that silver tongue of his? You never expected oral to feel so good when he slid his tongue into your slit and out only to repeat it over and over again, roaming his tongue over your clit a few times and back lower again. You started to feel more and more of the ecstasing feeling pushing through your veins when your lower region began to tighten. “Oh gosh, tetsuya” and some loud groans of yours were the only thing that you shouted when waited for the explosion, the the biggest pleasure you will ever feel, but… It wasn’t like you expected it to be… no, on the opposite, it was as if a horde of butterflies were tingling all over your body from head to toe. Strong sensitive twitches shook you back to the feeling irregularly, even when it was for only a couple of short seconds. You breathe in deeply to slower down your breathing when Tetsuyas lips found yours again. You don’t know what it was but it had a unique taste, it could only be described as salty but sweet and bitter but also sour. “Are you sure about it?” He asked as he looked you directly into your eyes and even when it was almost as dark as the night, you could still see the eroticism in his eyes. You only nodded your head and held his upper arms with your hand And there you were, missionary position, all heated up and ready for the main course of this story. He positioned himself between your legs and put his cock onto your entrance. I slowly tried to widen your butthole- oh yeah butthole. “Wrong hole” you really tried to suppress your laugh when you felt something poking your back hole. He apologized “oh, sorry” but that laugh faded away when whe suddenly filled your entrance with his member. It wasn’t that he was extremely big or long or hard or something like that, but it hurt like hell. Like really like hell. If you had to describe this feeling, you would have probably compared it to the burning when you accidentally get soap down there and that burns for 4 hours straight. That kind of burn. But you didn’t say anything. You yourself didn’t know why. He stopped for a second and you gladly waited with him “Does it hurt?” He asked when he felt your nails digging into his skin. “Yeah a lot” you groaned out of pain and he immernoch, but slowly pulled out of you. Try number 1? Failed. Wow your first time wasn’t as you read in all those imagines and fanfictions where everything is just perfect. You thought that when you read fanfictions about sex, you’ll be the sexgod1000 but nope, scratch that. Surprised? You most definitely are. “Let’s try it again” you said and laid down again from your sitting position. He started lubing you up again with his tongue but this time he really tried to get everything wet. And over again he sucked on your clit, roamed from side to side with his tongue but this time, he tried to loosen you up with his fingers. He licked them to lube them up and slowly stucked it inside you. When you finally got used to it, he added another finger looking for the perfect spot and again another as you started to enjoy it everytime he hit that one spot. And of course you let him know with calling out his name and tightening around his fingers when your climax neared. “Tetsuya, I’m going to come” you tried to not shout to much. And when you were about to let everything out, he pushed his manhood once again inside you and rubbed your clit with his hand while pushing up your left leg with the other one. It wasn’t as bad as the first try but it still stung. He tried to move his hips to slowly adapt to a steady rhythm as your moans got louder. ——- OK I’ll stop it here since I wrote a lot and I’ve got the feeling that the more I write, the shitter it gets so , here you are :D ~A

[gethealthy18-blog]

THM Year in Review 2019 [The Final Post of the Year!]

New Post has been published on https://healingawerness.com/news/thm-year-in-review-2019-the-final-post-of-the-year/

THM Year in Review 2019 [The Final Post of the Year!]

Like every other year I’m going to start this post with “OMG where did this year go?” But honestly, how is 2019 almost done? How is this DECADE almost done? Turning 30 was easy but living in the 2020s feels surreal. It’s like something out of a sci-fi movie. I still remember Y2k and thinking the world was about to come to an end. Now it’s 20 years later and we’re very much still here. Excuse me while I have a “what is life?!” moment over here.

But in a seriousness this year has been a total whirlwind full of big changes, small wins and another year of experience in the books. Though certainly stressful and tumultuous at times (such is life!), this year felt much less chaotic and far more stable than 2018. For this I am so so grateful. And as with every year since the beginnings of THM I’m dedicating this post to a year in review and what went down for me personally and professionally in 2019.

FYI: here are the previous year’s year end reviews:  2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 <–apparently I didn’t do one in 2013!

Big Changes in 2019

Personally this was a big year for me…I turned 30! While a number certainly doesn’t change anything, I did take a new decade as an opportunity to look back on the past, take what I’ve learned and what has served me while intentionally choosing to let go of the thoughts and habits that don’t. TBH I got a little tired of my own BS and what better than a birthday to decide to release it from my life? Personally this has been a big win.

Professionally this year has seen a lot of change. They say every 7 years big changes tend to unravel. Well here we are in THMs 7th year and that certainly is proving to be true. In some ways I am back to my roots doing exactly what I always intended to do with this space: share helpful resources for you guys to live your own version of health and wellness. In the beginning there was a lot more of me and my journey and while that remains to be true in the sense that my voice and perspective is infused into everything I share here, much less of my personal life is being shared. The older I get the less I want to be so open and vulnerable with every aspect of my life. It’s also not always the most valuable for you. Helping you guys pick safer candles, find the best natural mascara or whip up a healthy and easy dinner is my passion, and what I ate for breakfast this morning or the hike Curt and I did this weekend feels like a far departure from that. I’m so grateful you have all been so supportive through this process.

Here were some of the bigger changes in 2019:

Back to blogging – I’m sure you guys have noticed but there’s been a lot more posts around here. As I started to eliminate the parts of my business that weren’t filling me up, I found myself reconnecting with the things that did. It’s honestly been so fun being able to share 5-6 new blog posts each week and hopefully help inspire you in the process. Something that you may have noticed is that older posts are getting some makeovers and fresh photos. I have over 1000 blog posts on here but many of them are stuck in the past needing a refresh. So yes, not all content being shared is brand new but it’s all been vetted, tested and a resource for you.

My break from Instagram – Almost 4 months into this Instagram experiment and honestly, it’s been so so nice. I will likely be back sometime soon but there’s still some things I’m still sorting through mentally before that can happen. It’s a huge change and risk to take as a blogger but I have zero regrets and highly encourage all of you to take a social media break.

Ending the podcast – This one has truly been the hardest decision to make and come to terms with. I have learned SO much from the podcast both personally and professionally but if I’m being honest, my heart isn’t in it anymore. The podcasting and wellness space looks very different now and I truthfully don’t feel certain that the podcast is adding that much value to your lives. If it has I am so grateful for you tuning in. And if any podcast has touched you in some way consider this my PSA to reach out to the person running it, send them a note, write a review etc… cause we need to hear these things! It can feel like crickets out there sometimes. No one asked me to start a podcast but a lot of work, time and money goes into producing one and in this day and age we take a lot of free content for grated. Remember to thank and support the people who show up to create that content…off my soap box now 😉

Teaching Yoga – okay well it’s technically not new in 2019 but I did start teaching a regular studio gig. I absolutely love teaching my prenatal mamas on Tuesday night’s and subbing in when my schedule works for it for regular vinyasa classes. Getting to teach at my favorite studio in the world (and where I did my training!) is a dream come true and I feel lucky and grateful to show up each week. Come join me at The Pad Studios!

Coming up in 2020…

We’re moving homes the first week of January! We’re staying local in the Bay Area but Curt and I are moving to a house and while I’ll admit the whole process is very much stressing me out at the moment, we’re excited to get more space (a yard!) and enter a new decade with a fresh start. Our current apartment has been so good to us and I’ll be sad to leave it, but onwards + upwards!

Some big changes to THM. If you listened to the final podcast this week you’ll know there’s some big changes happening for THM. All good things that I can’t discuss quite yet but let’s just say it will be a new iteration of what you already know and love about this space but hopefully just serving you guys as best as possible. Stay tuned!

Small wins in 2019

This year hasn’t just been about the big wins. There’s been some small ones too. Many of these are personal but they’ve had a huge impact on my life and I’m so proud of the progress I’ve made.

I started driving (!!!!!!) – if you know me you know my greatest fear in life is driving. Yes, I have a driver’s license (and if you want a great story feel free to ask me how) but it’s always been a huge mental blocker for me. I’ve also always lived in cities where driving was never necessary. While you can certainly live in San Francisco without a car, it can make getting around a lot easier and more affordable. For 2 years I exclusively took public transit and lyfts but then certainly things came out that weren’t accessible by public transit and lyfts were getting insanely expensive. So in January I made it my mission to start driving our car. I’m thrilled to say I am so much more confident and have worked through a lot of my driving fears. It’s possible!

Bodhi is a certified Animal Assisted Therapy Dog – It only took a year but Bodhi officially passed his test and we will begin volunteering in January. 2 courses, 2 tests and an orientation and we finally made it! so proud of my big baby.

I finally got my finances in a row – I’ve always been a saver and pretty good with money but setting up a formal structure, 401ks and investing has always intimidated me. This year I made it my goal to get smart with money and really start understanding the system. I still feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface but we have an incredible financial advisor who has helped us with investing, saving for retirement and making smart financial choices. I officially feel like an adult.

I found a dentist I actually enjoy – guys…this is actually a big win! I hate the dentist. Like truly loathe it. Well this year I found a new dentist who has been so much more understanding with my dental fears and makes me not mind going. If you’re in SF I love Integrative Dentistry.

Travel in 2019

Although I didn’t share nearly as many posts about our travels as I have in the past, this year has not been short on travel. We were able to make it out to New York, Minnesota + Toronto for weddings as well as a trip to Arizona to spend some time with my family. We escaped to our favorite place in the world (Mendocino, California!) more times than I can count as well as many weekend trips to Sonoma and even a whirlwind trip to Vegas to see Lady Gaga for my birthday. I never talked about this but I also treated myself to a 5 day solo trip to Miraval Austin for my 30th birthday. One of the best trips of my life!

Here on the blog I shared some travel guides to hopefully help inspire some travels of your own:

–Our US Southwest Road Trip (Utah, New Mexico, Arizona) –Cariboo Gold Rush Trail Travel Guide (British Columbia, Canada) –Pacific City, Oregon

2020 is already looking busy with several trips for weddings and a long-awaited bucket list trip to New Zealand in March. Can’t wait to share more about it soon!

My favorite posts of 2019

Each year I share my favorite posts of the year and this year was by far the hardest. There’s been so many posts this year covering a wide range of topics. Narrowing it down has been difficult but on first glance here are the ones I really loved and have stuck with me:

Wellness

-All the Clean Beauty 5 x 5 posts (check out my Best of Clean Beauty 2019 post for the full recap!) –Announcing the Green Beauty Shop! –What is Sustainable Clothing + My Favorite Sustainable Clothing Brands –Gua Sha vs. Jade Rolling: What are they and how do they compare? –How to Find a Therapist that is the right fit for you? –I Switched to a Menstrual Cup – here’s why! –How to Style Curly Hair w/ Natural Products –The Best Natural Deodorants [ I tried 20+!]

Recipes

–Tahini Date + Cinnamon Smoothie –Healthy Kimchi Fried Rice –Roasted Cabbage Steaks with Chickpeas + Creamy Herb Sauce –Pumpkin Spice Blondies –Double Chocolate Cookies [Grain-Free] –Matcha Protein Bars –Warm Lentil + Sweet Potato Salad

So there you have it! It’s been quite the year. Given all the changes coming in 2020 I have a feeling it will be equally, if not even more exciting. As always, this is the last post of the year so the team and I can have a little break over the holidays. Here’s to facing your fears and being open to change. Deep breaths. I’ll see you in 2020!

What were some highlights from your 2019?!

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