#i want to scream into a pillow and cry
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it has been a day
#i want to scream into a pillow and cry#did i learn from the last time i had coffee??? noooooo#i draank two cups and nearly broke down during art class#cause the tidy good artist kid and and the hyper all over the place ADHD kid#have decided to become mortal enemies since we made them sit at ther same table#and the head art teacher doesn't want to change it#because she thinks they should learn to get along#so i have to listen to them argue as only children on the cusp of middleschool can#and then grab a different adult to take care of it cause i empathise too strongly with both of them to be the bad cop#...i should save this so i can reference it while trauma dumping on my therapist tomorrow#and also my cat escaped like 2 minutes when i came home and i have spent the last hour debating wheter i should try and catch him\#or just let him be#and now i have to leave in 15 min for another thing#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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they make me so sick in the head it’s actually unreal
#photo insp from that one photo in the cnn article on s2!#i flipped the image bc i wanted to draw crowleys little snake tattoo#idk i thought it was cute#anyways. that new season huh?#crying. screaming. throwing up. kicking the shit out of my pillow.#i love being overly invested in my gay little tv shows#go2#good omens fanart#good omens#good omens season 2#crowley good omens#aziraphale#aziraphale x crowley#ineffable husbands#fanart
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Oh, my love when will you come to look for me?
Tom McRae, Still lost | @catws-anniversary
#stucky#stevebucky#CATWS10#happy anniversary to the most epic love story in all of history <3#this is an absolute mess but asgdajshakd#i've been staring at it for too long#can't even tell where the mistakes are anymore but i'm sure i'll see them all once it's posted lmao#i just wanted to make a little something for my bois#eh#when in doubt: cry directly into the nearest pillow#*screams into the void*#rillers has feels
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people practice w Them <3
#posting this and then shoving my head into a hole Bye#i am! Not Confident!!! in my people scribbling abilities!!#but im trying!!! im fucking trying!!!#i already see improvement#not enough to make me go 'wee the masses are gonna love this'#but enough that i can fathom posting. i can handle it. i can do this#if i dont do it now then i never will!!!!#im still gonna scream into a pillow rip it apart and then eat the stuffing!!!!#ah... the mortification of Existing... of Being Perceived...#it is ever present and inescapable! youd thing id be used to it by now!!!#ill be on my death bed asking people to leave the room so that i can die w/o feeling horribly self conscious and Seen#no seriously every time i think about my potential death and or coma should that happen#i prematurely cringe at the Attention. people potentially crying at my bedside Eugh No Thank You Please Do That Elsewhere#either call me a loser and drop off a single flower or leave me be <3#THIS IS A WELCOME HOME SCRIBBLE POST. IM SORRY I FORGOT#scribble garnish#uh um uh so uh wally and barnaby am i rite fellas-#in my mind they're picking up takeout for dinner <3#yeah no im not tagging it with a fandom tag. i dont want to be perceived As We've Established#im somewhat satisfied with that first wally.... swag <3#& do i have major gender envy for barnaby? yeah#im not used to drawing people but i should be... i need to be...#THERE ARE GUYS I WANNA DRAW! mine and others!!! ngl mostly mine!!!
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Me: hello teacher, can i confirm that the exam is DEFINITELY on thursday
Teacher: hello Noag, yes, the exam is DEFINITELY on thursday
Me: great, thanks!
*2 hours later*
Teacher: the exam is on friday
#i just screamed out loud and banged my head into a pillow#FUCKS SAKE#i am UPSET and ANGRY about this#she said that it was on thursday and now she's changed it#my whole week is different now and i want to cry and never leave the house#because tuesday is a normal day. wednesday is CU day. thursday was going to be exam day. and Friday is therapy day#but now thursday is a nothing day and friday is an exam and therapy day#I cant put into words how upset i am rn#please dont reply to this unless its to tell me how unjust and terrible you agree this is#personal life#vent#rant
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your art circa 2016 (forever ago..) has been super influential on me. welcome back :)
#ANON…….. don’t make me cry rn I’m already going though it because of the jjk leaks but this message is so sweet I kind of want to scream#into my pillows rn in fact I will#it makes me happy that ppl still like my art even tho I don’t get to post as much as I used to ToT#I always feel really bad about it I have sm wips that I could easily finish but just never have either the time or energy but thank you for#sticking around all this time (2016 seems so far away… crazy 😭❤️❤️❤️)#shoutout to you anon this is a mood board made in your honor 🌹#anonymous#tkf replies#I promise to post new art soon!
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june 😭😭😭😭😭 did u see the new exclusive fairytale weibo update of jun and the girl cuddling 😭😭😭😭😭 trying so hard to be normal but the demons in my brain are like Your Husband Is Cheating On You
dont worry i have seen it and i have been nothing but ATTACKED by @onlymingyus and @duhnova and it is horrible and hurtful !!!! i am so Upset!!!!!!!
#🌠 : asks#💤 anon#screaming into a pillow crying sobbing throwing up coughing dying falling off a bridge sobbing wailing shrieking#i dont even have any words#only violence#i need to hit something#really really hard#MY HUSBDNAD :((((((((((((#MY BABY MY BOYYYYYYYEYYEEUKRJEEHERN#I AM SUFFERING#i am actually really normal and sane dont worry#i want to hug him :(((( a lot :((((( he :((((#he would be so snugglyn khsbndfjbsjhdgkjNBVFSNSD look at his face :(((((#im going into cardiac arrest
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#i want to throw up#and cry#seriously feeling so unmotivated right now and i have exams tomorrow and have only studied a bit#and i'm really tired but i seriously haven't done much#and this is such a vicious cycle and i'm so sick of it#i miss my old self she would've cared#okay i'm going to try to go back studying now#but maybe after some screaming to a pillow for a sec#nadirants
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i started making that playlist for you the first time i saw your angelic face!
so far it has 165 songs, 9 hours and 46 minutes
i add to it every time i hear a song that is worthy of you 💕
EXCUSE ME?!!!?!?!?!?!???!!!!?!
#I feel like I need to find a gif to express how I’m feeling#cause WHAT#I’m about to ugly cry#what is this playlist called 👀#this is for anyone but if you ever find a song that reminds you of me or one that you just want to show me - send me that shit!!!#music is the key to my heart tbh#it’s so hard to believe these sweet anons#some of these asks I get I’m just speechless and blown away and just ???????#feel so many emotions#and then I go through a denial period#like nah they must be on the wrong blog no WAY they meant to send this to me#but on a serious note I’ve always always always wanted someone to make me a mixtape or a playlist#and just the thought of it melts my heart and makes me want to scream and cry into my pillow#thank you for making me smile and making my day 🥺🥹🥹🥹#(PS when is the wedding 🫣🥰)#ask#anon#fav asks#sweet asks#I don’t feel like this response is good enough but I want to post it and show you how much I appreciate you and this ask 😭😭
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“No,” Regulus shook his head, his voice coming out much more soft. “That’s because I’m a ridiculous person, because you make me a ridiculous person and I want you to see me in everything. Everytime you see the Winged Victory or hear Eros and Psyche, I want you to think of me. Every still life you encounter, every Rembrandt work you ever see, I want you to think of me. And when I snog you again, in front of the Mona Lisa, everytime you see that work in movies or books or reproductions I don’t want you to think of da Vinci. I want you to see me. To think of me.”
art heist, baby!
#jegulus#i'm crying#i'm in tears#i'll never feel happiness again#regulus black i love you so much#i just want someone to do that with me why god#i feel so *screams in the pillow*
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spoken word poetry is a religion and my gods are blythe baird, phil kaye, andrea gibson, sabrina benaim, kait rokowski, olivia gatwood and most other performers on button poetry. i love and respect them so much. fuck concerts if i ever get to see these people performing in person i’d cry so hard i love them so much of course they’re on youtube and here are some of my favourites on spotify
#just listened to my grandmothers ballroom by phil kaye and im crying so hard#i miss her more than i’d even like to admit and it’s so hard#im just so sad#andrea gibson’s the day you died because you wanted to#and relapse by blythe baird#sabrina benhaim’s how to fold a memory.#god im so#there was this one called tropical depression idk who it’s by#and this one called eat your heart out was so powerful like i start shaking at the thought of it#and rachel wiley’s poetry about being the fat girl is just *screams into a pillow*#man whatever i want to be as great as them someday#button poetry#figments
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see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place
#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd#but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well#just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well#which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out#which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore#its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi#see the other thing is#if i talk about my mental health at all#people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint#or feel sorry for me which i also dont want#all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all#like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff#i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly#im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares#i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to#and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one#they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored#im losing my mind steadily#and thats not even onto the physical problems#but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying#‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket#if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your#fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces#sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues#but then i talk to other women and it is#it just doesnt make sense and i hate it#but i never rly got help on private insurance either so#tbd#depression cw
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Just saw a news story about the Van Gogh museum implementing a shitty AI avatar of him for people to ask questions I’m going to set something on fire
#I just woke up I don’t want to be this depressed rn#how do I kill all ai forever#STOP STERILIZING THE HUMANITIES#I’m literally gonna cry and scream into my pillow like a kid I can’t fucking stand this#art history#vincent van gogh#anti ai
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playing pokemon black... started tearing up at skyarrow bridge
#THE SKYARROW BRIDGE THEME MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL BUT IM NOT EVEN SURE WHY?????#POKEMKN MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL AND I DO KNOW WHY!!!!!#god i wish i could have played it growing up... i have a ds but no actual cartridge and pokemon gamws sell for crazy amounts#i want to olay it on the ds for the full experience#one of my goals in life is to have my own copies of pokemon bw and platinum...#pokemon makes me cry. i love pokemon i love running around collectijg friends and battling cool people#idk i think 7 year old me tjougjt it was so cool how adults in games were so much kinder and cooler tjan real life adults#imagine being a gym leader and archeologist?!?!?!! a member od the elite four who fucking. shoots a guy w hyper beam point blank#i love lance hes insane#IMAGINE BEING CHAMPION OF HOENN! BEING HEIR TO THE LARGEST COMPANY IN HOENN! AND BEING A ROCK ENTHUSIAST WHO CAN SPEND HIS DAYS TRAVELLIMG T#HE WORLD LOOKING FOR RARE STONES!!! STEVEN STONE IS LIVING THE LIFE I WANT#but also i get so sad bc. when i first got into pokemon i was several years younger than the protags#when i first watched pokeani i was younger than ash!!!!! and now i am old :(#never going to br able to go back to spending summer vacation curled up at home going through 7 volumes of pokespe a day...#never goijg to be able to waych anipoke during winter break under a pillow fort again...#never goijg to be ahle to experience listening to n's farewell and the striaton city theme and skyarrow bridge theme and eterna forest and#littleroot town and nimbasa city and cianwood city and#so many other pieces for the first time again#rambling finished i guess first days of class make me cranky and sad#going ti go back to playijg pokemon black again...going to walk around castelia city and scream#rambling about stuff#rambling about pokemon
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I thought about how I'll get to add lookup aki to my collection next month and nendoroid aki to my collection the month after and my heart started to beat faster
#my connection with these silly little figures...... you don't get it.....#I might cry and scream and freak out when they arrive#I don't care how much it costs me they will be mine!!!!!#also I really want the preorder bonus pin and pillow for lookup aki....#but the design of the pillow isn't my favorite#maybe I'll buy a tiny cute doll pillow for him instead#something cute and fluffy lol#and I'm definitely buying cuter outfits for my aki nendo#will put him in maid dress and bunny costume asap
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Okay but like real question. Do you think Steve knows how quickly Nancy moved on? Like we know he knows it was quick but wasn’t it like the next day? And she was already emotionally cheating on him. I’d like to think that Robin and Eddie somehow find out because of course they do and then make random comments to see if Steve knows and the second they find out he doesn’t they do everything to protect him from it but like because Steve doesn’t deserve that and then when he does find out and realises that Nancy really never loved him and he has actual proof in front of him he starts crying and Robin freaks out and Eddie is trying to distract him but like mid sob Steve just says “thank you” because all the weirdness over the last few months makes sense now and he realises that he didn’t need the validation of his ex girlfriend to love him when they were dating because she cares about him now but most importantly the two age appropriate most important people in his life love him and who needs anything else when you have a best friend that’s Robin Buckley and a new boyfriend named Eddie Munson (but like a few days later because it makes him realise Eddie actually likes him back and then that get together and it’s cute)
#listen do I love Steve?#yes#but like he has so much trauma#way too much#like Dean Winchester level daddy issues and no one has seen them on camera yet#I swear if Netflix brings in Steve’s parents and they’re good people I’m going to scream into my pillow#because the dots won’t add up babe#no one like Steve has good parents#because how will they explain where the FUCK they were#also I love Robin and Steve’s friendship#and in this hc he and Eddie don’t get together right after the crying thing because that’s a little weird#but it does make him realise Eddie likes him and they get together a few days later#I’m gonna add that in the actual post now#I also love Dustin but he doesn’t need to know what happened between Nancy Johnathan and Steve in season two#could you imagine the younger kids finding out?#I want reaction ideas#steddie#steve harrington headcanon#steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#johnathan byers#stranger things#stranger things headcanons#steddie headcanon#steve and robin
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