#i want to put my phone down and just try to learn a recipe and give myself time to try and perfect a recipe on the weekends that sounds

[milo-is-rambling]

Thinking about the fact that one day I will have my own apartment and I can open all the windows and I will make my own bread and cheese and butter by hand and I will practice things and put effort into failing in order to grow and there will be no one there to tell me it's not worth it to try

[estapa-edwards]

TEAM SWEETHEART - J. HUGHES

paring: Jack Hughes x fem! reader

word count: 2.7k

requested? yes - jack being in love with an absolute sweetheart and she’s part of the devils team, he introduces her to his family and they can tell how much jack is head over heals in love with her, and she also has a great relationship with luke

warnings: use of y/n.

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As Y/N stepped into the locker room, her presence commanded attention. Her smile was radiant, her eyes filled with warmth and excitement. Jack felt a jolt of electricity shoot through him as he watched her, his heart skipping a beat at the sight of her.

"Hey everyone, this is Y/N," the team's manager announced, gesturing towards her. "She'll be joining us as our new social media manager."

The room erupted into cheers and applause, welcoming Y/N with open arms. But for Jack, it felt like time had slowed down, his gaze locked on her as if drawn by an invisible force.

Y/N's eyes met Jack's, and for a moment, the world around them faded away. In that instant, Jack felt a connection unlike anything he had ever experienced before. It was as if he had known Y/N his entire life, as if their souls were somehow intertwined, destined to find each other in this moment.

As the team continued to welcome Y/N, Jack couldn't shake the feeling of warmth spreading through him. He wanted nothing more than to get to know her, to learn every little detail about the person who had captured his heart with just a smile.

Throughout the rest of the day, Jack found himself stealing glances at Y/N whenever he could, his heart racing with anticipation. And as they interacted more and more, Jack knew without a doubt that Y/N was someone special – someone he couldn't imagine his life without.

The locker room was buzzing with excitement as Y/N set up her phone to film the latest TikTok for the New Jersey Devils' social media account. Jack Hughes sat in his locker, lacing up his skates, trying to focus on the game ahead, but his attention kept drifting to Y/N.

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Y/N moved around the room with ease, her energy infectious as she interacted with the players, her phone poised to capture every moment. Despite his nerves about being on camera, Jack couldn't help but admire her passion for her work.

"Hey, Jack, want to be in this TikTok?" Y/N called out, flashing him a playful grin.

Jack's heart skipped a beat at the invitation. He wasn't usually a fan of being filmed, but if it meant getting Y/N's attention, he was willing to make an exception.

"Sure, why not?" Jack replied with a nervous chuckle, standing up from his locker and joining Y/N in front of the camera.

As Y/N began recording, she turned to Jack with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Alright, Jack, when's the last time you called your parents for something?"

Jack's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he racked his brain for an answer. He wasn't used to being put on the spot like this, especially in front of his teammates.

"Uh, I think it was last week," Jack said, his voice slightly shaky with nerves. "I called my mom to ask for her chicken soup recipe."

Y/N laughed, the sound music to Jack's ears. "Classic mom move. Thanks, Jack!"

As Y/N moved on to the next player, Jack couldn't help but feel a sense of pride swell within him. Despite his initial discomfort with being on camera, he was grateful for the opportunity to make Y/N smile, even if it meant stepping out of his comfort zone.

Throughout the rest of the day, Jack found himself eagerly anticipating the next TikTok shoot, eager to spend more time with Y/N and show her just how much he was willing to do for her attention.

Jack couldn't help but steal glances at Y/N as she bustled around, her infectious smile brightening the room. From the moment he first met her, he was captivated by her warmth, her kindness, and her unwavering passion for the team. She was more than just a colleague to him; she was his everything.

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As the game drew nearer, Jack found himself growing more nervous, not about the match, but about introducing Y/N to his family. He wanted them to see what he saw – an incredible woman who had stolen his heart. Taking a deep breath, he approached Y/N who was busy checking her phone for the latest fan tweets.

"Hey, Y/N," Jack said, his voice slightly shaky with nerves.

Y/N looked up, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him. "Hey, Jack! Ready for the game tonight?"

Jack nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, but there's something else I wanted to talk to you about."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, curious. "What's up?"

Jack took a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking. "I was thinking... after the game, would you want to meet my parents? They are  in town, and I'd love for them to meet you."

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Really? You want me to meet your family?"

Jack nodded, his heart pounding in his chest. "Yeah, I want them to see how amazing you are. What do you say?"

Y/N's smile grew wider, and she nodded enthusiastically. "I'd love to, Jack. Thank you for inviting me."

Jack felt a wave of relief wash over him, knowing that Y/N had accepted his invitation. As they went about their respective duties leading up to the game, Jack couldn't shake the feeling of anticipation building inside him. He couldn't wait for his family to meet the woman who had stolen his heart.

After the game ended in a thrilling victory for the Devils, Jack wasted no time in leading Y/N to where his family was waiting outside the arena. As they approached, Jack's heart pounded in his chest, nervousness mixing with excitement.

"Mom, Dad, this is Y/N," Jack said, his voice filled with pride as he introduced Y/N to his parents.

Y/N greeted them with a warm smile, her eyes sparkling with kindness. "It's so nice to finally meet you both. Jack has told me so much about you."

Jack's parents exchanged a knowing glance, a smile tugging at their lips. They could see just how much Jack was head over heels in love with Y/N, and they couldn't be happier for him.

"It's wonderful to meet you too, Y/N," Jack's mom said, pulling her into a hug. "We've heard a lot about you too."

As they chatted and laughed together, Jack couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over him. Seeing Y/N getting along so well with his family only reaffirmed his feelings for her.

As they continued to chat, Jack's dad couldn't help but tease Jack a little. "So, Jack, when were you planning on introducing us to this lovely lady? We were starting to think you were keeping her all to yourself."

Jack laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "I wanted to make sure it was the right time, Dad. But I'm glad you finally get to meet her."

Y/N chuckled at the exchange, feeling instantly at ease with Jack's family. "Well, I'm just grateful Jack invited me. I've been looking forward to meeting you both."

Jack's mom smiled warmly at Y/N. "We're glad you're here, dear. Jack hasn't stopped talking about you since the day he met you."

Jack's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but he couldn't hide the smile that spread across his face. "I can't help it. Y/N is pretty amazing."

The conversation flowed effortlessly as they walked to Jack's family's car, Jack's younger brother Luke joining in with his usual enthusiasm. Luke immediately took a liking to Y/N, chatting animatedly with her about the latest hockey game and sharing stories from his own experiences with the team.

As they reached the car, Jack's mom turned to Y/N with a twinkle in her eye. "Y/N, would you like to join us for dinner tonight? We'd love to get to know you better."

Y/N's eyes lit up with excitement, and she glanced at Jack for confirmation. He nodded eagerly, his heart swelling with happiness at the prospect of spending more time with Y/N and his family.

"I would love to," Y/N said with a bright smile. "Thank you so much for the invitation."

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The dinner scene unfolded with a comforting ambiance of familial warmth, as the aroma of delicious home-cooked meals filled the air and laughter resonated throughout the room. Jack's family had gone above and beyond to make Y/N feel welcomed, and as they all sat around the table, it was evident that this evening would leave a lasting impression on everyone present.

As the meal progressed, Jack's mom, with her nurturing demeanor, couldn't resist peppering Y/N with questions, eager to learn more about the woman who had captured her son's heart. "Y/N, dear, you must tell us more about yourself. Jack has told us so much, but we want to hear it from you."

Y/N, her cheeks flushed with warmth at the attention, smiled gratefully. "Well, there's not much to tell, really. I grew up in a small town not too far from here, and ever since I can remember, I've had a passion for hockey. It's been a dream come true to work with the Devils."

Jack's dad, a beacon of support and wisdom, nodded approvingly. "That's wonderful to hear, Y/N. We can tell how much you love what you do."

The conversation flowed effortlessly, with Jack's family sharing stories of their own and Y/N reciprocating with tales from her childhood and her experiences with the team. With each passing moment, the bond between Y/N and Jack's family grew stronger, the shared laughter and camaraderie weaving them together like threads in a tapestry.

As the evening drew to a close and the remnants of the meal were cleared away, Jack's mom turned to Y/N with a smile that radiated warmth. "Y/N, we're so grateful to have you here tonight. You've brought so much joy into our home, and we can't wait to spend more time with you in the future."

Y/N's heart swelled with gratitude, feeling truly embraced by Jack's family. "Thank you so much for having me. I've had a wonderful time tonight."

Jack found himself walking Y/N to the door, a mischievous glint in his eyes as they exchanged playful banter under the soft glow of the porch light.

"So, did you have fun tonight?" Jack inquired, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he stole a sideways glance at Y/N.

Y/N's smile was radiant, her eyes reflecting the warmth of the evening. "Of course I did. Your family is amazing, Jack. I feel so lucky to have met them."

Jack's heart swelled with affection at her words, his gaze lingering on her as they approached the front door. "Well, they're pretty fond of you too, you know. I think my mom might like you more than she likes me."

Y/N laughed, a melodious sound that sent a shiver down Jack's spine. "I highly doubt that, but I appreciate the sentiment."

With a surge of boldness, Jack closed the remaining distance between them, his lips capturing hers in a tender kiss. The world seemed to fade away as they shared the moment, the gentle rhythm of their hearts beating in sync.

Little did they know, Luke had been watching from the hallway, a knowing smile spreading across his face. He had always suspected there was a spark between his brother and Y/N, and seeing them together only confirmed his suspicions.

As Jack and Y/N reluctantly pulled away, their cheeks flushed with a mixture of excitement and bashfulness, Luke couldn't resist teasing them. "Well, well, well, looks like someone finally worked up the courage to make a move."

Jack's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he shot Luke a playful glare. "Mind your own business, Luke."

Y/N giggled, feeling a newfound sense of camaraderie with Jack's younger brother. "Don't worry, Jack. I think it's sweet."

With a final goodbye and promises to see each other again soon, Y/N stepped out into the night, leaving Jack standing in the doorway with a smile on his face and a warmth in his heart that he knew would linger long after she was gone.

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As they sat in the meeting, Jack and Y/N couldn't deny the magnetic pull between them, their gazes constantly gravitating towards each other despite the discussions happening around them. It was as if the air crackled with unspoken words and unfulfilled desires, heightening the tension between them to almost unbearable levels.

Jack found himself mesmerized by Y/N's every movement, from the way her hair fell in gentle waves around her face to the way her lips curved into a subtle smile. He longed to reach out and brush his fingers against hers, to feel the warmth of her touch and lose himself in the depths of her eyes.

Meanwhile, Y/N's heart raced with each stolen glance at Jack, her cheeks flushing with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. She couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to finally give in to the undeniable attraction between them, to explore the depths of their connection without any inhibitions holding them back.

As the meeting dragged on, the tension between Jack and Y/N only seemed to intensify, reaching a crescendo that left them both breathless. Every accidental touch sent shivers down their spines, igniting a fire within them that threatened to consume them whole.

Finally, as the meeting came to an end and the rest of the team began to file out of the room, Jack and Y/N shared a lingering look filled with silent promises and unspoken desires. It was a moment that spoke volumes, a silent agreement to explore the depths of their connection and embrace the undeniable chemistry between them.

And as they stepped out of the meeting room and into the bustling office, the rest of the team couldn't help but notice the subtle shift in the dynamic between Jack and Y/N. They exchanged knowing looks and playful nudges, silently rooting for them to finally acknowledge the feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface for so long.

For Jack and Y/N, the tension between them was undeniable, a palpable electricity that coursed through their veins and bound them together in a way that neither of them could resist. 

The air in the locker room was charged with excitement as the team prepared for another game. Amidst the hustle and bustle, Jack stole a moment alone with Y/N, his heart pounding with nervous anticipation.

"Hey, Y/N," Jack said, his voice laced with a hint of flirtation as he flashed her a playful grin.

Y/N turned to him, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Hey, Jack. What's up?"

Jack took a deep breath, summoning all his courage as he reached out to gently cup Y/N's cheek. "I've been thinking, and I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me. Like, officially."

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Really? You mean like, be your girlfriend?"

Jack nodded, his heart racing with anticipation. "Yeah, exactly like that. So, what do you say?"

Y/N's smile widened into a grin as she leaned in closer to Jack, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well, I suppose I could make an exception for you, Hughes."

With that, Jack's face broke into a radiant smile as he leaned in to capture Y/N's lips in a sweet, tender kiss. The world seemed to fade away as they lost themselves in the moment, the warmth of their embrace enveloping them like a cocoon.

And then, as if on cue, the rest of the team burst into applause, their cheers filling the locker room with a chorus of celebration. Jack and Y/N pulled away from each other, their cheeks flushed with happiness as they basked in the glow of their newfound relationship.

As the applause died down, Jack couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude for the incredible woman standing before him. With her by his side, he knew that anything was possible, and he couldn't wait to embark on this new chapter of their lives together.

And so, amidst the cheers and laughter of their teammates, Jack and Y/N shared one final kiss, sealing their newfound love with a promise to cherish each other for eternity.

[the-softest-love-is-ours]

Idk if this’ll help anyone or if these are even good… just thought of stuff self shipper could do, I guess.

Anywho, here’s a list of things yo,u as a self shipper, can do for fun.

(This will be added onto with time)

Proship/Comship/Anti-Antis DNI

Play Tomodachi Life, make yourself, your main F/O, and then a bunch of family and friends and see how the shenanigans play out.

Play Sims (my choice is 4, but any one will work), same as before but this time you have mods and can control you and your F/O’s however you please.

Make kandi jewelry for each of your F/O’s, whether it’s a bracelet with their name or just a necklace with a color scheme you think fits them.

Purchase something custom from etsy and/or fiverr. These can be care packages, letters, plushies, art pieces, fanfics, maybe you could find someone who does RP asmrs, and my personal favorites an RP or an annotated book.

Look on youtube for asmrs, whether they’re RP, sleeping beside or those muffled playlist scenarios.

For those of is that are age regressor, make a custom deco paci based on your F/O.

Credits to @myselfshipdiary for this one, make a Pinterest board. They can feature fanart, aesthetic images or heck maybe recipes you would cook for them and memes you would show them.

If you have the skills, or heck even if you don’t (life’s too short, try everything, learn new skills), design something based on them. A dress, a cake, a room, a candy platter, a party, an outfit, a plushie, literally anything!

Make a breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner you think they would like! Maybe if you bring your lunch to work, make a bento for yourself that you would send to work with them.

Go on to your online shopping sites and make wishlists of thing you’d think they would want/like.

Do some research on perfume/cologne, and either track down or commission one you think they’d wear. You can do the same for all necessary toiletries if you’d like to take it a step further.

Play around on spotify (or your music service of choice) and make playlists for various scenarios.

Piggybacking of the last one, find a song that you would make their ringtone and think of what their contact name would be in your phone.

Pick out a ring you think would be the engagement/wedding ring they would give you.

Make paper doll's of you/ your self insert and your f/os) along with attachable paper clothes!

If you have access to a printer and a blank notebook/sketchbook along with some glue, you can make a scrapbook with pictures of your f/o(s)! You can also add drawings you made and anything like stickers, washi tape, etc.

This one is digital, edit a transparent of your f/os) into a selfie of yours to make a couples photo! You can print it out and put it in a frame. Also, Dollar Tree sells frames that you can also paint, put stickers on, anything!

There is an app called Social Dummy, create a social media world with you and all your F/O’s on it!

Make perler bead pixel art of your f/o.

[hwaflms]

𐙚˙⋆.˚ nct 127 as 1d songs!

‧₊˚ 💭 ✩彡 , , 0.69k, fluff + slight suggestive + slight angst, just lil snippets of you and 127 with one direction songs, not my usual writing style, TELL ME UR FAV 1D TRACKS

♡ taeil . . . last first kiss

rainy days, soft smiles and soft kisses, nicknames, casual dates, putting away groceries, taking photos of things to show each other later, promises, painting dates, secret handshakes, prolonged stares, drawing each other, approving photos to post, kisses on the top of your head, karaoke nights, trying street food together, song recommendations, deep questions, laughing over some soju, denial and hesitation, splashing each other with wet hands

♡ taeyong . . . little things

LONG showers, buying clothes for you, matching jewellery, folders in your galleries for each other, perfume, long talks over tea, words of affirmation, flowers, crying in front of each other, wine nights, slow dancing, sending you reminders to eat, falling asleep over call, learning ukulele together, staying-in days, holding hands 99.99999% of the time, corny jokes, bike rides, playing video games, cutting fruit for each other, naps while it's raining outside

♡ johnny . . . she's not afraid

secret movie dates, drive-thru mcdonald’s, tight dresses, tousled hair, long video calls, subtle lock screens, orange-scented soap, sneaking out at night, drunken confessions, the two of you together in the background of every photo, watching scary shows, kissing in the dark, running, texting while in the same room, lying in his arms, windy nights, knowing each others favourite songs, screenshots, hushed whispers, road trips, dancing in the kitchen

♡ yuta . . . perfect

parties at 1 am, hailing taxis, long sloppy kisses, tucking hair behind each others ears, red bull cans, blasting music in the car, ice cream runs, eye contact, skinny dipping, cheap hotels, playing pool, texting late at night, beach walks, wind blowing in your face, meeting in secret, italian restaurants, thin cigarettes, messy sheets and hair, windows all the way down, knowing smiles, wearing his shirt at home, soft gasps, motel pools, cherry lip balm, getting tattoos together, getting kicked out of parties

♡ doyoung . . . half a heart

soft sweaters, missed calls, buying his detergent, matching rings, soft wispy clouds, two different kinds of juices in your fridge, puddles, picnic dates, mixed up socks, never deleting photos, the first text after an argument, books with notes in them, walks by the river, watching a show together, conversations in the dark, spontaneous coffee meet-ups, naming plants, museum visits, drives in the rain, saving memes about each other, empty lockets

♡ jaehyun . . . no control

stargazing, drinking on rooftops, meeting at parties, red cups, pool nights, lipstick stains, the smell of his perfume, oversized clothing, driving fast when the roads are empty, voice messages, morning kisses, private playlists, tinted taxis, looking for each other in a room, holding your hair back, strong coffee, silk pillowcases, clothes on the floor, selfies on each others phones, muffled moans, drunk tattoos, pinching his cheeks

♡ jungwoo . . . 18

amusement park dates, walks at night, letters on beige paper, photo booth pictures, ugly keychains, playing on the seesaw when the playgrounds empty, passing notes, keeping said notes, bracelets, having each other as your lock screen, messy beds, lists of baby names, knowing each other's favourite songs, extra toothbrushes, shampoo bottles, yearbook cutouts, shoebox filled with letters and trinkets, holding pinkies, random texts throughout the day, talking to his mom on the phone, long calls

♡ mark . . . i want to write you a song

pure innocent love, cafe dates, warm hugs, board games and hot chocolate, writing songs for you, sharing clothes, pecks while smiling, cookie recipes, said cookies ending up burnt, karaoke nights, acoustic guitars, writing desks, cheek kisses, grocery shopping, badly taken polaroids, long walks, late night conversations, photo albums, beanies when it's cold, holding hands under the table, wearing his glasses, breakfast in bed, bouquets, scarfs, walks along the sand

♡ haechan . . . temporary fix

stolen glances, smokey rooms, making out in the back of a taxi, moonlight, hair flying in the wind, playing footsie under the table, jealousy, talking on the phone late at night, eyes meeting across the room, drunken kisses, sitting on his lap, lots of 'are you awake?' texts, vodka sours, mirrored lense sunglasses, dyeing each other's hair, locking doors, lips on your neck, avoiding questions, stupid contact names, waking up in his clothes, empty wine bottles, bright sunsets, 10+ tiktoks and memes every morning, voice notes of him singing

[svnoohe4rts]

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE: TO THE ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP. ― rule number one.

pairing: park jongseong x fembodied!reader

summary: sunghoon had been strict to follow the rules written on the list the two of you had written years ago, especially rule number three. but when jay suddenly makes an appearance in your life, he realizes that maybe, just maybe, he broke rule number three a long time ago.

word count: 11,8k

warnings: angst, jealousy, just sunghoon being a bad best friend in general, SMUT ! MDNI . proofread but there may be some mistakes, please don’t be afraid to point them out !

masterlist ! next

A GUIDE TO THE ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP.

Sunghoon saw the list of rules you two had written together every time he opened the top drawer of his nightstand table. The once white, lined paper almost had a yellow tint to it now and your handwriting had smudged to the point where it was practically impossible for Sunghoon to read the already poorly spelled sentences.

Not that he needed to read it, no, he had already memorized what the paper said years ago; long before the words faded and the paper crumbled.

It was the summer break between 4th and 5th grade when you and Sunghoon sat down underneath the big tree in his backyard while drinking some lemonade Sunghoon’s mother had made earlier that summer morning, writing a list of rules. 

A list of rules for the two of you to follow in order to have the ultimate friendship.

RULE NUMBER ONE: NO OTHER BEST FRIENDS ALLOWED.

Sunghoon had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. There was not a single memory you could recall where Sunghoon was not there, being practically glued to your hip ever since the two of you were born. In the video your parents had taken of you where you had just learned how to ride a bicycle Sunghoon could be heard cheering for you in the background, just like he was seen secretly blowing the candle out on your seventh birthday.

He could also be spotted in the framed picture hanging off the wall in your parent's room, the picture your parents had asked some poor tourist to take off you when Sunghoon came with your family on a skiing trip when you were fifteen. Everyone who saw the picture always asked who the handsome boy was and if it was your brother, which was almost true - Sunghoon was almost like a brother to you at this point. 

A brother.

And with Sunghoon being your best friend and practically a part of your family, why would you ever need another best friend? 

Both of your signatures could be found at the bottom of the page, Sunghoon’s first attempt to write his signature was scribbled over as he misspelled his own name and needed you to help him spell it. You had kissed the paper as a final way to seal the contract before forcing Sunghoon to do the same, and Sunghoon remembers shuddering in disgust as he pressed his lips onto the same spot as you - indirectly kissing his best friend, something he never wanted to experience, ever.

After that, you handed Sunghoon the list, telling him that he could keep it; knowing he would forget the rules otherwise knowing how forgetful he could sometimes be. So he did, storing it in the top drawer of his bedside table; where it remained, even ten years later.

 ‘’Wanna stay for dinner? I think my mom mentioned something about trying some new recipe she found,’’

‘’Can’t. Jay asked me to come over, we still have that English project to finish, remember?’’

A frown formed on Sunghoon’s face, watching as you kept your eyes glued to the screen of your phone. With a groan emerging from the back of his throat, he put his hand over your phone screen; covering whatever it was on your phone that possibly could’ve had you so invested, so invested that you hadn’t been paying any attention to Sunghoon for the last twenty minutes.

‘’But you’re always hanging out with Jay,’’

Sunghoon hated Jay. 

Maybe hate wasn’t the right word to describe the feelings he felt towards Jay, maybe it was a little too harsh; dislike was probably a more fitting and less brutal word to describe what he felt towards the boy who had stolen his best friend away from him.

The tall, mysterious and seemingly charismatic boy had suddenly made an appearance in your life three months back. Sunghoon remembers hearing the name Jay trail off your lips for the first time when you were comfortably laying in his bed, watching as he tried clearing a level he had been stuck on for the last couple of weeks. He also remembers just shrugging it off as you told him about how you got partnered up with the new student for your English class as he focused on the monster taking up the screen of his TV instead, both his brows furrowed and the tip of his tongue poking his cheek in concentration.

The second time the name Jay left your lips, he was sitting in the school's cafeteria. He remembers scrolling through his phone while you talked about how easy your English assignment was, and that you had Jay to thank for making it so easy for you. He also remembers you rolling your eyes when he asked who Jay was, before you lightly hit him in the arm for not listening to you.

By the nth time Jay’s name had spilled past your lips, Sunghoon wondered if you had broken the first rule of your contract.

Especially when you suddenly could no longer attend your daily hangouts after school, also known as you going to his house to do nothing for a couple of hours before going home, only to repeat the same thing the next day. You had accompanied him home from school for as long as Sunghoon could remember, so why would it change now, ten years later?

Well, Sunghoon blamed Jay for changing the routine the two of you had kept going for years.

Suddenly, you were too busy accompanying Jay to his house after school instead. To work on your assignment, you had claimed, and that maybe you could come over afterward; if it wasn’t too dark out, that being said - even though Sunghoon had offered you to spend the night multiple times.

You never did come over after you went to Jay’s house nor did you ever spend the night. Sunghoon wondered if it was because you’d rather hang out with Jay, who had managed to snatch you away from him in every way possible, even when he wasn’t even present.

Like right now, for example.

Glaring at the boy sitting in front of you, you rolled your eyes before pushing his big hand away from the screen of your phone. ‘’We study together, Sunghoon. I kind of have to hang out with him.’’ You let out before your eyes wandered back to your phone, Sunghoon watching with the same frown plastered on his face as you typed something out using both your thumbs.

Watching as you typed, he tried changing the subject, not wanting to talk about the boy anymore. ‘’Who are you texting?’’ He tried peeking over your phone, to no avail; he couldn’t even see half of the screen from where he was sitting. Shifting around in his bed, you continued typing with a small smile on your lips, ‘’Jay, he’s asking if he should pick me up.’’ 

Feeling a lump form in his throat, which he didn’t know was in distress or annoyance, Sunghoon came to the realization he’d never be able to escape the topic of Park Jay; no matter how hard he tried.

‘’Tell him no, I’ll drive you.’’ 

His voice finally caused you to look up at him, properly this time, the small smile remaining on your lips. Sunghoon knew the smile wasn’t for him, yet it somewhat eased the uneasiness he was feeling from the thought of watching you get in someone else's car, more specifically Jay’s car, when he could easily drive you. ‘’Really?’’ You let out, both your brows raised and the screen of your phone turning off; giving Sunghoon the slightest hope that you wouldn’t turn it back on.

Nodding in response, he snatched the phone out of your hands, not giving you the chance to turn it back on; putting it behind his back. ‘’Only if you promise to pay attention to me for the remaining time.’’ He let out, causing a small chuckle to trail off your lips as you sat up straight against the headboard of his bed.

With your hands finding their way to his face, your soft hands squeezing his cheeks together; Sunghoon felt the lump in his throat completely disappear. ‘’I promise to pay attention to my clingy best friend.’’ You grinned, Sunghoon staring at you in distaste before turning his face away from you; causing your soft hands to slip away from his face. Pretending to wipe your touch away from his cheeks, he shook his head while listening to the giggles trailing off your lips. 

‘’First of all, I’m not clingy,’’ He spoke, ‘’Second of all, you’re not my grandma so you have no business squeezing my cheeks like that.’’

Grinning at him, you once again grabbed onto his cheeks, ‘’I might not be your grandma, but I’m your best friend.’’ 

Fighting back a smile, he once again tried getting away from your grip; both of you laughing and Sunghoon suddenly felt like he was twelve again - when you were his only best friend and didn’t have to worry about you drifting away from him.

You remember when you laid eyes on the boy named Jay for the first time.

With his dark hair slicked back and pieces of hair falling onto his forehead, he had walked into the classroom with his hands shoved down the front pockets of his pants. You were sure he caught not only your attention, but everyone else’s as well; with his hawk-like eyes and sharp features, it was almost impossible not to find him alluring after all. 

And with your professor introducing the stranger as Jay who had just moved schools, he had gazed over the class and nodded his head before taking a seat - the class continuing on as if nothing had happened.

Not for you though. 

You remember watching him for the next couple of days after that, out of pure curiosity. You remember watching as he mindlessly browsed his laptop as your professor spoke with no open document in sight to take notes, you also remember how he got told off multiple times for having his AirPods in during class; only for him to show up the next day with the AirPods back in his ears. You admired him for that.

It took a week, a week of you as well as everyone else watching him from afar, for the seemingly quiet boy to be announced as your partner for the upcoming assignment.  

You remember hearing his voice for the first time when he stood in front of you after class, and how you thought his voice suited him perfectly; the low and deep tone of his voice matching the enigmatic aura that seemed to surround him wherever he went. You also remember feeling baffled the first time you sat down to study, when he seemed to know everything surrounding the subject even though you knew he hadn’t been listening nor had he been taking notes of anything the professor had spoken of. 

The once mysterious boy quickly became not so mysterious and you suddenly found yourself being around him more frequently. 

You had learned a lot about the boy during the three months you had spent getting closer to him. Like the fact that he had a birthmark shaped somewhat like a heart on the side of his neck for example, a birthmark that you had observed the one time he leaned over you to look at the screen of your computer, or that he always smelled musky, a tone of bergamot following him everywhere he went - the smell engulfing you each time he pulled you into a hug to greet you.

You often found yourself wondering if you were the only one who knew those small things about him, and if the rest of the world still saw him as the mysterious boy you yourself once saw him as.

‘’I was beginning to think you flaked on me.’’

Once again, the woody fragrance you had now grown accustomed to engulfed you as the dark-haired boy towered above you, a playful smirk accompanying his words as you stood outside his front door. 

The sky had gotten significantly darker compared to when you got into Sunghoons car, the night sky slowly replacing the orange tone that had decorated the sky just a few minutes prior. A smile formed on your lips as you shook your head, your eyes meeting his; taking a moment to observe his hooded eyes.

You had learned a lot about the boy during the few months you had known him, sure - yet you had the lingering feeling that there was still something about him you had yet to learn.

The feeling washed over you every time you got a glimpse of his eyes, each time leaving you to wonder just what it was that you had yet to learn. You knew he was an only child, you knew his father worked away from home which meant he had the apartment to himself most of the time, you knew his favorite color was purple thanks to the one time he came with you shopping - when he had pointed out one shirt in particular, a purple one, telling you to get it because he thought you’d look good in his favorite color.

You felt like you knew everything there was to know at this point, yet the strange and almost obscure feeling lingered.

‘’You really think I’d do that?’’ You chuckled as he stepped aside, allowing you to step into the dimly lit and quiet apartment. He liked it that way, you had figured out, considering the fact that it was always eerily quiet every time you came over; no radio mindlessly playing in the background, no random show playing on the TV - just simple quietness. 

A chuckle emerged from the back of his throat as he watched you take your shoes off, shaking his head. ‘’I’d hope not, I mean, I’d like to consider us friends at this point.’’

The words caused you to look up at him, your lips slightly parted before a small grin spread across your lips. ‘’Should I feel honored? You make it sound like I should,’’ You grinned, successfully kicking your shoe off. Jay rolled his eyes in response, leaning his upper body against the wall behind him. ‘’No, but I think friends reply to each other's messages, no?’’ 

Lightly hitting his bicep, something Jay had figured out you did when you felt comfortable around someone, you shook your head. ‘’I’m sorry, I was at Sunghoons house and I forgot to reply,’’ 

The sudden mention of Sunghoon caused Jay to raise one of his eyebrows. ‘’Sunghoon? Let me think,’’ He hummed, squinting his eyes as if he was thinking, ‘’The boy you’re always hanging out with, right? The one you grew up with?’’ This time, it was your turn to roll your eyes after staring at him in disbelief for a moment. ‘’Yes, Sunghoon, the boy I’ve told you about like, what, a thousand times?’’ You let out, squinting your eyes back at him.

Jay had yet to meet Sunghoon, despite attending the same school as the two of you. There had been plenty of instances where they could’ve met, like every time you bumped into Jay in the hallways while casually talking to Sunghoon - your introverted friend, however, always just gave you a quick nod whenever he saw your face lit up upon seeing the other boy; leaving before you even had the opportunity to introduce the two. 

You just shrugged it off as Sunghoon being his introverted self, and meeting new people just wasn’t his forte. You, however, had yet to learn about the boy's hatred towards the other boy and the fact that he had no desire whatsoever to meet the boy who had stolen his best friend away.

A smirk formed on Jay’s lips, gently punching you in the shoulder. ‘’I’m just playing, I’m assuming he drove you here?’’ He asked, not taking his eyes off of you as he started walking down the hallway leading to his room. You nodded in response, fixing the bag hanging off your shoulder as you followed him; earning a nod back from the taller boy. 

‘’Hopefully I’ll get to meet this infamous Sunghoon one day.’’

‘’Maybe one day.’’

‘’How come you’re taking English classes if you already know all of this stuff?’’

Your question caused a low chuckle to emerge from the back of Jay's throat, not taking his eyes off the book placed in front of him. ‘’I think this is just common knowledge, Y/N,’’ He responded, causing you to frown. ‘’That’s just an indirect way of calling me stupid.’’ You mumbled, tearing your eyes off the boy seated in front of you before returning your gaze to the book placed in your lap. 

Jay looked up at you, holding back a chuckle at the sight of you pouting; a small smile forming on his lips as he leaned over the bed, grabbing onto your chin before tilting your head up. Your eyes immediately met his, your eyes wide from his sudden action and the foreign feeling of his rough fingers gently gripping your chin; your eyes traveling down to the smile he wore on his plump lips.

And you almost missed the way his eyes traveled down to your lips, too.

 ‘’I don’t think you’re stupid.��’

Even though you felt like there was something you didn’t know about the boy, there was one thing you had learned - he wasn’t too big on psychical contact. It took weeks for him to greet you with a hug, only raising his eyebrows at you every time you tried to wrap your arms around him; leaving you feeling both embarrassed and dumb for thinking he’d want to hug you in the first place. 

Until one day, he had taken you by surprise when you were waiting for him by his locker; his big hands suddenly grabbing onto your shoulders from behind before spinning you around, laughing at your shocked expression before hugging you for the first time. 

After that, despite you stumbling over your words from utter shock from him hugging you without you initiating it, it became a habit to hug each other whenever you greeted one another.

You noticed he grew more comfortable around you as his small, almost unnoticeable touches happened more frequently. You remember him placing one of his hands on your thigh while you were reading something out loud and he wanted to read whatever you were reading too, or the one time he wrapped an arm around your shoulders while walking to the school's library; all while laughing at something you had said.

But this, him touching your face, had never happened before.

Noticing the way your lips separated like you were about to say something, but not a single word leaving your lips; he chuckled at the clearly flustered state you were in before letting go of your chin, going back to leaning against the wall by his bed. ”Plus I think it’d look good on my resume, don’t you think?” You just stared at him for a moment, watching as he went back to reading like he hadn’t just grabbed your chin; clearing your throat in a desperate attempt to hide your now flustered state.

‘’You know,’’ You let out after a while, trying to change the topic, ‘’I keep getting the feeling that there’s something I have yet to know about you.’’

Jay just cocked an eyebrow, he could feel you looking at him; keeping his eyes glued to the page he was reading. ‘’Yeah? And what would that be?’’ He let out, looking up at you before slightly tilting his head. You shrugged, ‘’I don’t know, I’m still trying to figure it out.’’ He just stared at you for a moment upon hearing your words, his eyes meeting yours as silence engulfed both of you.

‘’You want to know what I think?’’

You nodded your head, feeling both confused and nervous from the sudden silence - had you accidentally managed to offend him?

He took a moment to just look at you, his eyes scanning your face; causing you to slightly furrow your eyebrows as his eyes met yours once more. ‘’I think there’s a lot you don’t know about me.’’

The seriousness lingering behind his words caused your facial expression to soften and a chuckle to leave the back of your throat, shaking your head as you tore your eyes off the boy sitting in front of you; Jay, however, kept his eyes on you - watching as you went back to reading whatever page you were on, a small smile plastered on your lips. 

You wondered if he was just trying to tease you, make fun of you even; realizing your sudden confession probably sounded like a joke to him, something you blurted out to avoid having him tease you for your flushed state.

‘’Yeah? Like what?’’

‘’Do you want me to show you?’’

His sudden exclamation caused your eyes to immediately dart back up, your eyes immediately being met by his own dark ones. Expecting to be greeted by his usual playful smile, you suddenly grew nervous once more as you realized the playful grin you had expected to see was nowhere to be seen.

No, with his eyes burning into your skin and his head slightly tilted, you realized he wasn’t teasing you. 

‘’What?’’ You let out, trying your best to decipher the stern look on his face. It wasn’t unusual for Jay to walk around with a stern look on his face, his hawk-like eyes and sharp features making it look like he was constantly judging everyone around him. But this, the look he was giving you right now? No, it was nothing like the usual stern look he wore on his face.

‘’I said, do you want me to show you?’’

With his eyes still burning into your own, you found yourself unable to look away. His low eyes made it almost impossible for you to tear your gaze off him, desperate to understand what the new look he was giving you meant; even if it meant you had to stare right back at him, looking and feeling dumbfounded.

‘’Show me what?’’ The quietness of his apartment made you wonder if he could hear your heart practically beating out of your chest, suddenly feeling almost naked as he stared at you; his dark eyes piercing into your soul, causing a wave of uncertainty to wash over you. Your voice almost came out in a broken whisper, and you wondered if he even heard you.

The deafening silence almost made you repeat your question, keyword almost; you weren’t sure if you wanted him to respond, you weren’t sure if you wanted to know what his response would be.

Jay, however, did hear your question - but he didn’t reply, no, instead he tore his eyes off you to grab the novel he was reading; the noise of him slamming the book shut ricocheting off the walls, almost causing you to jump. 

You didn’t even have time to react to the sudden noise before you suddenly felt Jay place both hands on either side of your legs, and before you knew it - he was towering right above you; his arms caging you in.

At that moment, that’s exactly what you felt like; like you were being caged. Like you were being held hostage, with one of his arms now placed against the headboard of his bed where you were comfortably resting your head and the other one placed by your shoulder, you froze.

His face was now only a few inches away from your own, almost feeling his breath fan across your face; the closeness almost causing you to hold your breath as you were unable to do anything but look at him with wide eyes.

The shock of him being so close to you caused your heart to race, his musky scent surrounding you in a way it had never surrounded you before; suddenly being able to smell his shampoo and the mint gum he had been chewing on a few minutes prior. You had been close to him many times before, you had been closer to him than this; like when he hugged you for example, your cheek pressing against his chest as his arms wraps around your figure.

But this? This was completely different from the friendly hugs he usually gave you. This was so much more intimate than all the hugs he had given you combined, his eyes still piercing into your own as you found yourself unable to look away once more - your lips parted and eyes wide as you stared right back at him.

His eyes darted between your eyes and lips, his dark gaze sending shivers down your spine. You desperately tried to say something, to move, anything: but almost like your limbs were frozen in place, you simply couldn’t; feeling like your whole brain had shut down and your vocal cords had never existed in the first place, you were left to do nothing but stare at him in pure shock. 

At that moment, you wished that Jay would’ve left some random show to play on the TV, you wished that he’d at least put on some music while you were studying - anything, anything that could distract you from the way his lips were hovering above your own.

Jay’s eyes met your own once more before a low chuckle emerged from the back of his throat, the sudden sound breaking the silence almost causing you to jump once again. You suddenly felt him bop your nose using the hand he had previously placed right by your head, causing you to blink as a small smile formed on his lips, and before you knew it; he was no longer towering right above you.

‘’I’m just playing with you,’’ He laughed as climbed off of you, his musky scent no longer engulfing you and the mint on his breath no longer invading your senses, ‘’God, you should’ve seen the look on your face! What, do you think I’m some sort of serial killer?’’

Letting go of a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, you forced an awkward chuckle to leave your throat; the uneasiness and confusion lingering in your shaky chuckle being evident. You were quick to tear your gaze off him, almost feeling the need to gasp for air; your cheeks warm and your chest heaving under the shirt you were wearing. You could feel your heart beating and you were almost certain Jay could hear it from across the bed as well, the smile on his lips remaining as he shook his head at your panic, grabbing the book he had disregarded minutes prior.

Like nothing had ever happened, he went back to reading the novel your teacher had assigned you to read; leaving you to uncomfortably shift around in his bed, trying your best to find a comfortable position - trying your best to calm both your racing heart and thoughts.

The thought of Jay almost kissing you didn’t leave your mind for the entire night after that, not even when you found yourself in your own bed hours later - staring at the ceiling as you recalled the feeling of his breath on your face and his scent engulfing you, leaving you to wonder if you had wanted him to kiss you.

The thought remained, even when you woke up the following morning.

Like a stone, it sat in your stomach from the second your eyes fluttered open; only to be greeted by the morning sun peaking through the blinds. On your way to school, the thought still lingered; staring out the window of the passenger seat of Sunghoons car as he mindlessly talked about something, something you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to no matter how hard you tried.

Even during math, the thought of Jay clouded your mind as you desperately tried to focus on the numbers filling your page. But instead, you only stared at the empty paper placed in front of you, the pen you were holding in your hand ghosting over the paper; unable to think about anything but Jay’s body pressing against your own and the way his lips had ghosted over your own.

You, however, despite Jay potentially trying to kiss you clouding your mind; couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you were making it all up. Perhaps Jay hadn’t actually tried to kiss you, maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you; maybe he had actually just tried to tease you, he did enjoy seeing you all flustered after all - something you had learned the hard way.

Jay had made you flustered multiple times during your short friendship, more times than you could count. Like when he’d compliment you on the smallest things, for example, the jewelry you chose to wear, or when he’d compliment you on your choice of perfume for that particular day; telling you that you smelled good while pulling you in for a hug to greet you. The smirk he’d wear on his lips every time he’d see your cheeks turn a peachy color made it clear that he enjoyed seeing you like that, making you wonder if he did it purely to make you flustered.

And with the same smirk on his lips, this time while being dangerously close to your face, you were left to wonder if he was in fact just trying to make you flustered.

‘’Are you okay?’’

Sunghoon’s sudden voice caused you to snap out of your thoughts, your eyes landing on the boy walking beside you. With his brows slightly furrowed together, he stared at you; waiting for you to reply. Clearing your throat, you nodded. ‘’Sorry, what were you saying?’’ You mumbled, your gaze returning to the ground underneath you.

A day later, and Jay was still preoccupying your mind; unbeknownst to Sunghoon, who was too busy celebrating the fact that you finally agreed to hang out with him after school. So busy that he almost failed to notice the way you hadn’t been listening to a single word that had left his mouth since that very same morning when he picked you up outside your house, so busy that he almost didn’t notice the way you had only hummed in response to whatever he had said.

Until he eventually did realize, hours later - when you hadn’t uttered a single word for the past fifteen minutes.

Pressing his lips into a thin line, he looked at you; his steps coming to a halt, grabbing onto your wrist to prevent you from taking as much as a single step. The feeling of his hand wrapping around your wrist caused you to look up at him once more, both your eyebrows raised as your eyes met his now concerned ones. ‘’What’s up?’’

You could clearly hear the concern lingering behind his words and for a moment you felt guilty, guilty for making him worry. Letting out a chuckle, you shook your head, ‘’It’s nothing, I just have a lot on my mind right now, college, you know?’’

If things had been different and if Sunghoon hadn’t been your best friend for the past twenty years, he would’ve believed you. But he had known you his entire life and he most definitely did not believe you, he could easily tell there was something more than just college on your mind by just looking at you - leaving him to wonder why you felt the need to hide something from him, a frown forming on his face.

‘’You sure?’’ He asked, scanning your face; trying to find out what it was that was preoccupying your mind, what it was that had you so deep into your own thoughts - to no avail as you only flashed him a bigger smile, causing Sunghoon to poke the inside of his cheek using his tongue. 

‘’Cut the bullshit.’’

The smile that you had just worn on your lips slowly faded as your best friend called you out, a frown taking over your features as a small sigh escaped your lips; feeling Sunghoon let go of your wrist, letting his hand fall back down the side of his body. ‘’It’s really nothing,’’ You mumbled, avoiding his gaze; missing the way he rolled his eyes upon hearing your words.

‘’If you say so.’’ 

Your gaze once again landed on the boy as he continued walking, your eyes landing on the back of his head; another sigh escaping your lips as you debated on whether or not to tell your best friend what was weighing you down.

You trusted Sunghoon. You trusted Sunghoon more than you trusted anyone else. he was your best friend, after all, a brother even. But despite your close relationship with one another, love and everything surrounding the topic was just something you didn’t talk about; no matter what.

Maybe it was because of that one time you told him about the crush you had on one of the boys in your class during middle school and he laughed at you, leaving you feeling both embarrassed and angry, angry that you told him in the first place if he was just going to make fun of you. Or maybe it was because of that one time you had to comfort him after he got rejected, something he refused to speak about ever again; you weren’t sure, but one thing was for sure.

You simply did not talk about those things. Or you didn’t, until what had been on your mind eventually slipped past your lips.

‘’I think Jay tried to kiss me last night.’’

As soon as the words left your lips, Sunghoon regretted ever asking.

A sudden burning sensation spread across his chest, feeling like his heart was caving in; his breath almost hitching in his throat upon hearing your words. Feeling like someone had grabbed onto his heart and ripped it out of his chest, crushing it before stomping on it; he wished he had never asked you in the first place.

He wished he wouldn’t have asked what was on your mind, he wished he wouldn’t have known you so well to the point where he could easily tell that something was wrong - anything, anything to avoid the ache he was suddenly feeling in his chest, an ache he had never experienced before.

Almost feeling the need to grab onto the fabric covering his chest, he froze. Like he was unable to move, he just stared at his car that stood parked in the school's parking lot a few feet away.

‘’Did you kiss him?’’

The words trailed off Sunghoon’s lips before he could even comprehend what he was saying, the words leaving his lips before he could even consider what to say; not sure if he actually wanted an answer to his question. 

You just stared at him, confusion washing over you upon seeing his reaction. With his back still facing you, you furrowed your brows; making you wonder if perhaps you shouldn’t have said anything, considering the way his steps came to an abrupt stop and his shoulder tensed. ‘’No,’’ You let out, uncertainty lingering in your voice as you stared at him.

‘’Did you want to kiss him?’’

Squeezing his eyes shut, Sunghoon had to bite his own tongue in order to not say anything else. He didn’t even want to know if you wanted to kiss Jay, no, he didn’t want you to want to kiss Jay; the question slipping past his lips quicker than he was able to think.

Sunghoon wasn’t a religious man, he had never been and he probably never would be either. But at that moment, Sunghoon prayed for the first time in his life; with his eyes squeezed shut, he prayed that you’d say no. 

He prayed that you’d laugh, he prayed that you would tell him how you didn’t want to kiss Jay - anything, he prayed for you to say anything other than a yes. 

He, however, didn’t know if the silence that followed his question was any better than if you would’ve said yes. 

Turning around to face you, he felt the heavy feeling in his chest spread even further as he spotted the look on your face. With your lips pressed into a thin line, you just stared at him; causing Sunghoon’s heart to sink, your silence hurting more than if you were to say yes.

‘’Did you?’’ You bit down on your lower lip as he repeated his question, his brown eyes now staring into your own. You tried to figure out what the look on his face meant, the look that he usually wore on his face whenever he felt disappointed. But he wasn’t disappointed, not right now, he couldn’t be, right? What was there to possibly be disappointed about?

‘’No, I mean, I don’t know,’’ You mumbled, shrugging your shoulders as you spoke. Fighting the urge to avoid his piercing gaze, you nibbled on your bottom lip; the look on his face making you wonder whether he was disappointed or just felt awkward.

The sudden dry chuckle that left his lips, however, told you everything you needed to know. ‘’You don’t know?’’ Almost speaking through gritted teeth, the tone of his voice taking you by surprise; causing you to frown.

‘’Yeah, I don’t know,’’ You let out, your eyebrows furrowed together as he shook his head; another dry chuckle, a chuckle in disbelief, ripping through his chest.

‘’You have to know if you wanted him to kiss you or not Y/N,’’ He argued, not taking his eyes off of you, watching as your eyes widen in surprise. ‘’What? I don’t know Sunghoon, I don’t know if I wanted him to kiss me or not!’’ You defended yourself, confusion washing over you as the boy in front of you only seemed to grow even more agitated the more you spoke.

Letting out a sigh in annoyance, Sunghoon ran one of his hands through his hair in an attempt to somewhat calm himself down, ‘’For fucks sake,’’

‘’Why are you getting mad?’’

Your question caused Sunghoon to freeze, letting his arm fall down the side of his body again, his lips parting like he was about to say something; but with not a single word leaving his lips, the boy remained silent.

You were right, why was he getting mad?

Any other best friend would be happy, happy that their best friend met someone - so why was Sunghoon feeling like someone stabbed him in the heart, and not happy? Why did the thought of his best friend almost kissing another guy, someone who wasn’t him, cause a burning feeling to spread across his chest?

Your big eyes, filled with both surprise and disappointment caused Sunghoons gaze to soften. Realizing he had lashed out at you with no real explanation, confusing both you and himself, he placed his tongue between his teeth. ‘’We’ll hang out some other day, alright?’’ He managed to mumble after a moment of silence, his voice low and you were sure you could hear what sounded like both anger and sadness lingering behind his words.

‘’Sunghoon, wait,’’

The boy had already turned around before you could even utter as much as a word, feeling the need to reach out and grab onto him to stop him from walking away from you; your hand leaving your side, just to retract it just as quickly - realizing it was no use.

He was already walking away, leaving you to stand alone in the school's parking lot. 

Feeling both confused and as if someone had just punched him in the face, Sunghoon came to the realization that you had in fact broken the first rule. And maybe, just maybe, he had broken one of the rules himself.

Radio silence.

Sunghoon didn’t pick you up the following day, even though he had picked you up every single day ever since he got his license and even though you stood outside your house at 8 AM sharp - his car never turned the corner, like he always did. 

Nor did he text you that night, after leaving you in the parking lot all on your own; leaving you to take the bus as your only ride home left you stranded.

Nothing but utter, complete radio silence.

Perhaps it was your own fault, you thought, you had been zoned out the entire day and completely uninterested in anything he had said after all. But the confusion still lingered, the confusion as to why he lashed out at you; as to what could've gotten him so upset to the point where he grew so aggravated, to the point where he felt the need to leave you with no explanation, no nothing.

Instead, you were left confused, with tears staining your cheeks all the way until the early hours of the morning, but most of all: hurt. 

You were left hurt.

The boy now standing in front of you, however, seemed equally as confused with your unannounced presence.

‘’Y/N? What are you doing here?’’ Jay let out in surprise as he opened his front door, only to reveal you standing there; the cold winds sending goosebumps down your arms as you shoved your hands further down your pockets in an attempt to warm yourself up. You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his and Jay wondered if your cheeks were red from the cold autumn weather that had slowly been approaching, or if you had been crying. 

‘’Can I come in, or is it a bad time?’’

Maybe it wasn’t the most ideal time for you to show up at Jay’s door, completely unannounced, judging by the way his hair was dripping wet and the towel he was holding in one of his hands. But with Sunghoon completely ignoring you and your heart still slightly aching from your best friend being disappointed, angry - whatever it was he was with you, it was obvious to you that he wouldn’t hang out with you today.

Despite it being the one day of the week, the one day when you had promised him to hang out with him, clearing your schedule to go over to his house; sometimes even sleeping over, if he managed to convince you, that being said.

Not today, you guessed.

Jay looked at you for a moment, before a warm smile spread on his lips. ‘’You’re always welcome here, silly.’’

The warmth of Jay’s apartment welcomed you with open arms, shielding you from the cold winds raging outside; mentally scolding yourself for not wearing something warmer. A low sigh escaped your lips as you sat down at the edge of Jay’s bed, rubbing your hands together in an attempt to warm yourself up. ‘’I thought today was no study day?’’ Jay spoke as he entered the room, his eyes questioning you as he rubbed the towel against his scalp; preventing droplets of water to drop from the ends of his hair.

You looked up at him, your eyes scanning his figure. With nothing but a flimsy tank top covering his chest, the lack of sleeves leaving his biceps out for you to see - you almost felt the need to look away. Almost like you weren’t supposed to be looking at him, your breath hitched in your throat.

Quickly gazing back down at your hands, still rubbing them together to create some warmth, you shook your head in response. ‘’Change in plans,’’ You lightly chuckled, the sound of Jay draping the towel over the door leading into his room causing you to gaze back up at him, reluctant to do so. He looked over at you, his lips parting as if he was about to say something; his eyes meeting yours.

The room fell silent and you wondered if perhaps he could sense how tense you were. Perhaps he could hear your heart thumping against your chest, just from him simply looking at you, all the way across the room; or maybe it was the look in your eyes that gave it away, you weren’t sure. 

But one thing was for sure, Jay most definitely noticed something - slightly tilting his head at you.

‘’How come?’’

Now it was your turn to shrug, forcing yourself to tear your eyes off of him; his eyes still burning into your skin as you looked away. ‘’Plans changed, I guess,’’ You mumbled, the room falling silent once more.

‘’Why have you been crying?’’

Jay wasn’t sure if you had actually been crying, or if it was the cold causing a red color to flush your cheeks. Trusting his gut feeling, the words softly trailed off his lips; and judging by the way you immediately looked up at him with wide eyes and your shoulders tensing up upon hearing his words - he realized he was right and that it was, in fact, the first option.

Parting your lips like you were about to say something, you felt like sinking through the ground. You had hoped that the cold would’ve helped you cover up your tearstained cheeks and puffy eyes, and maybe anyone else wouldn’t have noticed; but Jay did notice, and you wished he hadn’t - because then you wouldn’t have to awkwardly laugh it off.

You forced a chuckle to leave the back of your throat, bringing one of your hands to your face as you shook your head. ‘’Crying? It’s just cold out,’’ Pressing the back of your hand against your cheek in an attempt to show him that you were in fact just cold, even though that wasn’t the case; hoping he’d just shrug it off.

He didn’t. 

No, instead he just looked at you with his head still tilted, the look on his face making it clear to you that he did not believe your little white lie; not even a little bit. The room fell silent and you wondered if it was disappointment lingering in his dark eyes, disappointment over the fact that you had lied to him.

‘’You don’t have to tell me, you know,’’ He uttered, breaking the silence. His voice was warm as he spoke, nothing like the dagger-like tone that had lingered behind Sunghoon’s words when he had spoken to you, no; Jay’s soothing and sincere voice sounded nothing like the sharp words that had trailed off your best friend's lips. ‘’I just want you to know that I’m here to listen, always.’’

You hadn’t anticipated the lump that was now beginning to form in your throat, nor had you expected Jay to comfort you. You weren’t sure if Jay actually knew how comforting his words were, or if he was even being sincere; but the look in his eyes told you he was and you wondered if he also noticed the tears that had formed in your eyes.

He must’ve, because before you could even blink, you felt him place his weight next to you on the edge of his bed. Your eyes met his once more as he placed one of his hands on top of your thigh, his sudden touch taking you by surprise; but the look in his eyes, however, made you feel even more surprised.

His normally cat-like eyes no longer looked as mysterious to you, not with concern lingering in his dark brown orbs. With his eyes filled with both concern and what almost looked like admiration, you couldn’t help but let the broken sob that had been trying to claw its way out of your throat finally escape.

‘’It’s Sunghoon.’’

Jay was quick to wrap his arm around you before the broken sob could even leave your throat, gently pressing you against his chest before letting his head rest on top of yours. You let the tears that had been threatening to leave your eyes fall, feeling slightly embarrassed for crying in his arms; Jay humming as the name ‘Sunghoon’ trailed off your lips.

Once again, his musky scent engulfed you as his fingers combed through your hair. This time, however, the musky scent you had gotten used to comforted you in a way you had never expected it to - wrapping your arms around his torso in an attempt to get even closer to the boy holding you.

Jay hadn’t heard a whole lot about your so-called best friend, Sunghoon. He knew you grew up with each other and that he had seen him a handful of times in the hallways, but other than that; Park Sunghoon was practically a mystery to him.

But the second his name trailed off your lips, accompanied by your glossy eyes - Jay realized that the name Sunghoon was going to leave a sour taste in his mouth for a very, very long time.

‘’It’s okay,’’ Jay hummed into your hair, his heart clenching as he felt you grab onto him even harder, making him wonder for a split second if you were scared he was going to leave. Maybe you were, perhaps you were afraid he’d leave you on your own; you weren’t sure either, but there was one thing Jay was sure about.

He wasn’t going to let you go.

‘’I’m sorry,’’ You mumbled into his shirt, causing a low chuckle to leave Jay’s lips. You were about to look up at him, his sudden chuckle making you frown into the fabric of his tank top; making you feel stupid. But before you even had the chance to move your head, you felt Jay’s hand slowly slip away from your waist and grab onto the side of your face - making you look up at him.

Your breath hitched in your throat as your eyes met his, a small smile on his lips as he looked at you. His face was only a few inches away from yours, closer than he had ever been before - his thumb gently stroking your cheek making it even harder for you to breathe. ‘’Don’t you dare say you’re sorry,’’ He let out, ‘’Especially when you have nothing to be sorry about.’’

Maybe if Jay hadn’t planted the idea in your mind, you wouldn’t have kissed him. Maybe if he hadn’t gotten so close, maybe if his smell hadn’t invaded all your senses, and maybe if his rough fingers hadn’t dragged across your cheek; you wouldn’t have placed your hand in the nape of his neck and brought your face towards his own.

But you did, and you almost felt the need to let out a gasp as his plump lips came into contact with your own lips, the tears that had made their way down your face coating your lips.

Jay, however, also felt the need to almost gasp for air as your salty lips came into contact with his own dry ones. He almost pulled away, he almost let you slip away from his grip; and also he knows he probably should. He knows he shouldn’t let you kiss him, he knows he shouldn’t pull you closer and he knows he most definitely shouldn’t let his fingers run through your hair.

But how could he possibly not, when he had wanted nothing else but this for the past three months?

His lips moved against your own with such urgency, such desperation; his fingertips tugging at the roots of your hair as you placed your other hand on the side of his face, bringing him even closer to you. Feeling his tongue suddenly swipe across your bottom lip, you had to fight back from letting a small whine leave your throat; slightly parting your lips, letting his wet muscle come into contact with your own.

The tears that had previously left your eyes were now nowhere to be seen, Jay using his thumb to wipe them away as he helped you straddle him; his lips not leaving yours as you placed yourself on top of his lap. Feeling one of his hands leave your face and drag down your side before eventually resting at your waist, you almost shivered under his touch.

With your fingertips grazing over the water droplets that had dripped onto the skin of his neck thanks to him not properly drying his hair, Jay let out a low groan against your lips; the sudden sensation of your soft fingers tickling his skin causing his grip around your waist to tighten. The feeling of his fingernails digging into your skin caused a gasp to leave your lips, causing you to pull away from the kiss for a split second.

Jay just looked at you for a moment, admiring you; with you on his lap and your eyelashes stuck together from the tears that had spilled past the corners of your eyes, he had to bite down on his lower lip in order to somewhat ground himself - both of your chests heaving up and down from the intense kiss.

‘’Whatever he did,’’ Jay mumbled after a moment of silence, watching his fingers graze over the skin of your cheek as he spoke, ‘’It’s not worth crying over.’’

His soft words almost caused tears to form in your eyes once more, your lips meeting his before they even had a chance to form and drop onto your cheeks, again. This time, Jay was quick to slip his hand under your shirt, his warm hand gently stroking your waist as his rough lips continued to attack yours. The feeling of his hand coming into contact with your skin caused you to unconsciously move around in his lap, a hiss suddenly leaving Jay’s lips as he pulled away.

You were about to open your eyes, a pang of fear shooting through your body as he pulled away; fear that maybe he didn’t want to kiss you. Maybe he realized that letting you kiss him in the first place was a mistake, that he didn’t actually want to - until you suddenly felt his wet hair come into contact with the skin of your neck, that being said.

Followed by a water droplet dropping knot your skin, you felt him press a soft kiss right underneath your ear; causing you to tilt your head to the side, your eyes fluttering shut once more as your lips parted at the sensation. Leaving a trail of kisses down the side of your neck, his rough lips accompanied by his tongue occasionally swiping across your skin; a low whimper emerged from the back of your throat.

‘’Jay,’’ You whimpered, your head still tilted to the side, giving the man easy access to your neck. Nibbling on your skin, he hummed; the vibrations as well as his hand still gently stroking the side of your body causing another whine to spill past your lips. ‘’Can you take my mind off it, please?’’

Your soft whisper caused Jay to detach his lips from your neck, his eyes meeting yours once more. He slightly tilted his head, using his thumb to swipe across your bottom lip as you stared at him; your eyes wide and Jay could practically see the desperation inside of them. ‘’How would I do that?’’ He let out, his voice low as his gaze landed on his thumb, watching as your bottom lip followed his movements. 

You stared at him for a moment, the feeling of his rough fingers pressed against your bottom lip almost making you feel dizzy. ‘’Can you make me feel good?’’ 

Jay’s eyes widened for a split second as the words rolled off your tongue so softly, so softly that he almost missed them and he probably would’ve, if the apartment hadn’t been so quiet. His movements stopped, the pad of his thumb remaining on your bottom lip as his eyes met yours once more.

He looked for any type of doubt, any type of sign; a sign that giving into the urges he had carried around with him for months at this point would be a bad idea, something he’d regret later on; but there was none, no matter how hard he looked. 

No, instead he was met with your lustful eyes; your eyes filled with what Jay could only identify as the very same lust he himself was feeling. ‘’You want me to make you feel good?’’ He breathed, not taking his eyes off of you as he spoke, still looking for any type of warning sign telling him not to do it.

You nodded in response, ‘’Please.’’

And as soon as your soft voice filled the room and confirmed for Jay that you, in fact, wanted him, you suddenly felt yourself being thrown on the bed; with Jay suddenly towering above you - just like he had done two days prior. This time, however, he leaned down and pressed his lips against your own.

‘’I’ll make you feel good, okay?’’ He grunted, resting his forehead against your own. His words caused a whimper to leave your lips, eagerly nodding your head in response. ‘’’Just wanna have you, Jay,’’ You whimpered, wrapping your hands around his neck.

A low hiss left Jay’s lips as he dipped his head in the nape of your neck, his lips latching onto your sensitive skin once more; this time, however, his kisses were much rougher and the grip he had around your waist only hardened as he buckled his hips into your own. A whine emerged from the back of your throat as you threw your head back, a small wet patch forming in your underwear as his crotch pressed against your own; one of your hands gripping onto his wet hair. 

‘’I’ll make you forget everything but my name.’’

A loud gasp left your throat as he pressed his hips against your own once more, this time even harder, his teeth sinking into your skin; not even giving you the time to process what he had just said. Letting your hands get tangled into the wet locks covering his neck, you slightly tugged at his hair - earning a low grunt from him in return as he gently rolled his hips against your crotch.

You weren’t sure if this was the best way to take your mind off what had been weighing you down, or Sunghoon, more specifically. It wasn’t like you intended to end up under Jay, with his lips attached to your neck and his crotch grinding against your own when you showed up at his house, no, you thought maybe he could distract you and your wandering thoughts by maybe catching up on your English assignment.

This, however, feeling his rough fingers roam your body and his lips decorating your skin seemed to be working much better than studying ever could.

You hadn’t even noticed the way Jay had slowly begun to kiss down your neck, now letting his teeth nibble on the skin surrounding your collarbones; his hand that had previously been stroking your side was now gently pulling the fabric of your shirt further up your stomach, the cold air coming into contact with your now very hot, exposed skin causing you to whimper.

His lips suddenly left your skin, the loss of contact causing you to open your eyes and look down at him; only to be met by him already looking at you. His eyes were low, looking up at you through hooded eyes as he slowly moved down the bed - placing feather like kisses on top of your stomach while doing so. Your lips parted as you watched him kiss down your stomach, hooking both his arms under either side of your legs as he placed himself between them.

Keeping his eyes on you, he placed a kiss on the inside of your clothed thigh. ‘’Are you sure about this?’’ He mumbled against your thigh, still pressing small pecks on the inside of your thigh as he spoke. You quickly nodded, your hands finding their way back to his hair; your fingertips running through his now slightly dry hair. ‘’Please,’’ You whispered, nibbling on your bottom lip in anticipation.

A low chuckle left his throat, pressing one last kiss onto the inside of your thigh before his hands slipped off your hips; slowly making their way toward the zipper of your pants. ‘’Since you asked so nicely,’’ He mumbled, his fingers playing with your zipper, ‘’How about we take these off?’’

His eyes met yours once again, your head bobbing up and down in a nod once more; feeling the wet patch that had formed in your underwear grow more and more with each passing second. Only smirking at you, his gaze landed on your core as he unzipped your pants before helping you pull them down your legs - leaving you with nothing but your underwear on and your shirt scrunched up by your chest. 

Jay immediately spotted the wet patch that had formed on the cotton fabric covering your hole, his cock twitching in his pants at the sight; having to hold back a groan from leaving his throat as he placed one of his fingers against your clit, slowly letting it run up and down your clothed core. 

The sudden sensation caused a gasp to trail off your lips. The back of your head hit the pillow placed behind you, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt the fabric of your underwear drag up and down your slit. ‘’Is this what a little bit of kissing does to you, hm?’’ Jay cooed, causing you to whimper as he applied some pressure to your clit. ‘’Jay,’’ You whined, your voice almost coming out in a broken whisper. Another chuckle left Jay’s lips as he used his other hand to gently stroke your thigh, leaning down to press a kiss on top of your clothed clit.

‘’I know, I know,’’ He mumbled, hooking one of his fingers under the fabric of your underwear, ‘’I’m not going to tease you, baby.’’

The nickname rolling off his tongue accompanied by the cold air hitting your now wet core as he pulled the fabric to the side caused a low moan to leave your lips, grabbing onto his hair even harder. Jay bit down on his bottom lip as your wet slit was fully revealed to him, once again letting his fingers run up and down your slit. This time, the moan that trailed off your lips as your arousal coated his finger caused him to slightly buck his hips into the mattress underneath him - finally letting his tongue come into contact with your core.

The feeling of his plump lips latching onto your clit with no warning whatsoever caused a gasp mixed together with a moan to rip through your chest, his tongue swiping against your clit causing your head to sink even further into the pillow. Using one hand to gently stroke your inner thigh while his tongue circled around your clit, a low grunt left his throat as he felt you tug at his hair even harder.

‘’Fuck,’’ You let out, taken aback by Jay’s eagerness - expecting him to go slow on you. Jay, however, had no plans on going slow on you; you wanted him to take your mind off things, didn’t you?

You suddenly felt him place his other hand by your entrance, his lips still wrapped around your clit; another low gasp leaving your lips as you felt one of his fingers trace the outside of your entrance. Jay let out a low hum of satisfaction upon feeling the amount of arousal spilling out of your hole, the vibrations causing you to arch your back.

Before you knew it, he was slipping one of his fingers into you with ease; your slick walls welcoming his finger, the feeling causing both you and Jay to let out a moan. Jay gave you no time to get used to his finger filling you up before suddenly curling it, and judging by the whimpers that were leaving your lips, Jay realized he must’ve found your g-spot.

Jay knew nothing about Sunghoon, your so-called best friend, but as he heard you whimper underneath him; he wondered if Sunghoon had ever had the opportunity to make you feel as good as he currently was.

The thought caused a burning feeling to spread across Jay’s chest, and he decided that if Sunghoon had ever made you whimper like you currently were; well, in that case, he was going to make you feel better than anyone else had ever made you feel before.

Feeling him slip yet another finger into you, another broken gasp left your lips as he began thrusting them out of you, before plunging them back into you. His tongue was still playing with your clit, the combination of both his tongue and his fingers caused you to squeeze your eyes shut as an overwhelming feeling of pleasure washed over you. 

‘’Jay,’’ You moaned, feeling a familiar knot beginning to form in your stomach; Jay’s fingers thrusting into you while his tongue left kitten licks on your clit causing you to almost buck your hips against his face. Jay looked up at you, smirking against your cunt as he spotted your face. 

With your hair spread out on the pillow and your lips slightly parted, you looked just like what Jay had fantasized about in the darkness of his room while tugging at his own cock, broken whimpers of your name spilling past his slips each and every time. 

Only this time, it was broken whimpers of his name spilling past your lips, not the opposite; and Jay wondered if you had ever thought about him like this before, too.

Thrusting his fingers into you, he curled his fingers; both his fingertips grazing against your g-spot as he wiggled his fingers inside of you. Keeping his eyes on you, he watched as broken moans and whimpers left your lips as you tried your best to stay still; to no avail. How were you supposed to stay still, when Jay was currently fingering you unlike no one else had ever done before?

Jay held back a chuckle as he watched your chest heave up and down, your legs slightly shaking and threatening to lock him in place; not that he would’ve complained, if it was up to him, he’d spend all eternity between your legs - just to hear the sweet moans that left your lips as his tongue swiped against your clit and as his fingers got coated in your arousal. 

‘’Fuck, wish I could take a picture of you right now,’’ 

Jay’s sudden muffled confession caused you to whimper, clenching around his fingers; which most definitely didn’t go unnoticed by Jay. Cocking an eyebrow in surprise, you felt him chuckle against your cunt. ‘’Yeah? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’’

‘’Fuck, Jay,’’ You whined in response, feeling your orgasm approaching; which Jay did, too. feeling your walls beginning to clench around his fingers was the first sign that you were close, plus the fact that you were unknowingly trying to get away from his grip; your hips lifting off the mattress every now and then as he hit just the right spot with his finger or as he sucked on your clit. 

Detaching his lips from your clit, panting from the lack of oxygen as he pressed a sloppy kiss against your inner thigh; his fingers still thrusting in and out of you. ‘’Are you close, baby?’’ He let out, to which you only nodded in response. 

You wanted to tell him how good he was, how incredibly good he was making you feel and how close you were to making a mess all over his fingers; but you simply couldn’t. Almost like you had gone mute, the words refused to leave your throat; your throat dry as you panted, trying your hardest to form a sentence. 

Jay, however, noticed how you were struggling to speak as you began to move your hips in sync with his fingers in an attempt to chase your high, the sound of the base of his fingers coming into contact with your sticky entrance filling the room combined with your heavy panting and low whimpers.

Smirking against your thigh, he placed one last kiss onto the skin of your thigh. ‘’Then be a good girl and cum for me.’’

Curling his fingers one more time, harshly wiggling them around caused the knot that had formed in your stomach to finally snap. Letting your hands fall onto your sides, grabbing onto the sheets as your orgasm washed over you in an attempt to ground yourself; a high-pitched moan ripping through your chest as Jay felt you coat his fingers with your cum. Watching as your hole swallowed his fingers, Jay bit down on his bottom lip - hoping he’d one day get to experience you clenching like that around his cock.

‘’Good girl, that’s a good girl,’’ He cooed, gently stroking your thigh as your body trembled underneath him. ‘’Look so pretty cumming for me.’’

Once he felt your body beginning to relax, he slowly slipped his fingers out of your hole; placing a soft kiss against your now sensitive clit, making you whimper as you shook your head. Sitting up straight, he wiped his mouth using the back of his hand before once again climbing on top of you. A small smile formed on his lips as he came face to face with you, the fucked out state of you making him feel accomplished.

Using the hand he hadn’t used to fuck you, he gently stroked your cheek in an attempt to make you open your eyes. His smile only widened as your eyes fluttered open, you looking up at him through low eyes; his hand running through your head to help you come down from your high. ‘’You did really good,’’ He mumbled, leaning down to press a soft kiss on top of your forehead.

His words caused a small smile to form on your lips as you wrapped both arms around his neck once again. ‘’You did really good.’’ You mumbled in response, your eyes heavy and your whole body feeling slack from the overwhelming orgasm you had just experienced.

A chuckle was heard coming from the boy above you, his fingers still threading through your now messy hair. ‘’Did I manage to take your mind off it?’’ He asked, his eyes meeting yours. You only nodded in response, too tired to properly respond - which was more than enough for Jay. Leaning down once again, he pressed a soft kiss against the corner of your mouth. ‘’How about you spend the night, hm?’’

Pulling him closer to you, his musky scent engulfed you for the nth time that day; nodding your head once more, feeling Jay press a soft kiss against your shoulder as he hummed against your skin.

While Jay definitely had managed to take your mind off Sunghoon, you hadn’t left Sunghoon’s mind; not even once, no matter how hard he had tried to distract himself. And maybe, just maybe, if Sunghoon would’ve texted you five minutes earlier that day, you actually would’ve seen the message about him asking to come over.

And maybe, just maybe, if Sunghoon would’ve texted you five minutes earlier that day, you actually would’ve seen the message about him asking to come over.

[olderthannetfic]

As someone who's college age: yeah, there's a TON of people my age who don't know how things work and don't try to learn. Can't unzip a zip file, want to know where to download anime but haven't tried looking it up, ask things on subreddits a Google search or quick search on the wiki would answer, ask questions answered in FAQs or by professors or in the syllabus, say they can't download and install a new browser or app or program because they don't know how and they never think to look up how to do so, go months without logging into their student email because no one explained to them how to do so and they never thought to ask anyone how to do it, go months without washing their laundry because they don't know how and they also don't know how to look up instructions on how to do it, don't know how to cook and can't Google a recipe so they throw things in a pan and pray it works out, don't understand how to back up files, don't know how to attach a pdf to an email to send to a professor, cannot manage to put stuff on a USB drive + go to the library + print it off of the library computer, etc.

I spent most of freshman year teaching people things. The year after, my patience got more frayed and "Google it" started coming out of my mouth a lot more. This last year I gave up and now if people fuck themselves over, that's their decision. I'm not going to stand there begging people to do basic things they should already know how to do.

It was really funny when someone from Career Services came to talk to us about resumes and said we didn't need to put down 'can use Microsoft Excel' on there because everyone knew that and all but three people said actually no, they didn't. People who are 40+ really think we're all good at tech by default, like we fall out of the womb clutching a little phone already making spreadsheets in Excel or coding computers or whatever.

Meanwhile in reality you see a ton of people posting on tumblr going, "How do I post fic on tumblr?" whose blogs proudly state that they're under 18. The thought that you could just type into a Word doc and then copy and paste onto here never hits. And it's not going to.

I hate to break it to millennials and older people but yeah, actually, my generation does in fact have morons. We're not a moron-free demographic. I'm pretty sure moron-free demographics don't exist, tbh.

--

It infuriates me that my father (in his 80s) is always saying to me that he needs to find a 12-year-old to explain his tech to him. I (40s) keep telling him it's more like a bell curve or something. We had a blip of people being taught in school or having their asses kicked about technology. But then it went away again.

I think we made computers and then phones much more accessible, which is great, but we forgot we still need to teach people things. I know not everyone got explicit instruction in school even in my era, but it seems like the US, at least, phased some of that out as we started assuming The Youth automatically knew it all.

That said... in my day, college freshmen were also terrible about doing their laundry, so some things never change.

[starry-nights-garden]

✧ WayV Yangyang x gn!reader ✧ words: ~800 ✧ genre: fluff ✧ warnings: suggestive ✧ prompts: kitchen counter make-outs + “i’ve had a terrible day at work so just kiss me”

Your shoulders ache and your back feels strained when you finally come home that night. You silently curse through gritted teeth when you accidentally drop your keys as you’re about to unlock the door, and picking them up to look for the right one a second time feels like it requires way too much effort. At last, the door opens and you can drop your bags and take off your shoes by the entrance, before scuffing right over to the living room. You let your body collapse down onto the sofa, and for a while you just sit there and stare at a wall, before your ears register the rustling noises coming from the kitchen.

“Babe?” you call out, and your boyfriend answers, albeit a bit delayed.

“Baby? You’re home?” Yangyang walks around the corner, ready to greet you with a bright smile, but once he sees the state you’re in, his expression shifts and he raises his eyebrows. “Did something happen?” You groan, not even wanting to talk about all the details that made this day so terrible.

“I had a bad day and I’m really exhausted,” you simply state, and a moment later you feel your boyfriend wrapping his arms around you from behind, squeezing you tight.

“My baby had a bad day?” he coos, snuggling up closer to you and pressing his nose and lips against your cheek. He faintly smells like vegetables and seasoning, and you’re wondering if he’s attempting to cook something for dinner. “Do you need some coffee?”

“At this hour??” you retort.

“There’s nothing a cup of coffee can’t solve,” Yangyang states as he gets up, letting go of you.

“It certainly can’t solve whatever just went down in the past hours…” you mutter.

“That bad?”

“Yeah.”

“But you didn’t get fired, right?” You ignore the concern in his voice and you let out a bitter laugh.

“I wish…”

“Well, let me at least make you some dinner then,” Yangyang proposes as he walks back to where he came from.

“Babe, you can’t cook…” you remind him, but you follow suit into the kitchen anyway. 

“I’m learning!” he argues, pointing at a recipe on his phone that he’s trying to follow and some half chopped up ingredients. 

“Sure…” You sigh and you hop up onto the free kitchen counter on the other side. 

“Babe…” he calls out to you as he walks over, resting his hands on your thighs and tilting his head to the left slightly. “You’re not supposed to sit on the kitchen counter while someone else is making food.” You’re speechless. You’re tired and in a bad mood overall, and he thinks now is the time to scold you for something like that. However, you don’t really have the energy left to fight, so instead you put your hands over his.

“Baby, please… I’ve had a terrible day at work so just kiss me.” The mischievous grin on his face disappears immediately, and after a second of processing the meaning behind your words he lifts one hand to put it behind your neck, pulling you closer.

“Okay,” you hear him mutter before closing the distance between the two of you, and when you feel his lips moving against yours you can finally relax a bit. He kisses you slowly at first, but when he pulls back and you both catch a glimpse of each other’s faces, you immediately connect your lips again, kissing each other more passionately now. Hungrily, he runs his tongue across your lower lip, and you permit him to deepen the kiss, while you throw your arms around his shoulders and you bury your fingers in his hair. Breathlessly, you part, and you find his gaze burning with desire for you behind half-lidded eyes. So you lean in again for another kiss, but soon his lips wander to your jaw and he leaves a trail of kisses down your neck. You sigh, enjoying the tingly sensations coursing through your body, and you hold him close as if to tell him not to stop. 

“Babe,” you mumble, and he comes back up to kiss you on the lips, before answering.

“Yeah?”

“I think you should cook a little later,” you say in between kisses. Knowing exactly what you’re trying to tell him, he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you off the counter and making you stand right in front of him. 

“Yeah,” he agrees, lips only parting from yours to speak. “I think it can wait.”

[earthry]

How to Tempt Your Papas (Headcanons)

How to get your papas home early, inspired by this post (also mentioned in Copia's section).

sfw mostly, a little spicy imagery in some parts, gn!reader

Primo

Primo has such a soft spot for you. All you really have to do is send him some really sappy message telling him that he makes you so happy and you love him very much and he just melts.

He’ll send an equally long message about how he feels the same, how he loves you without requisite and that you make him want to be a better man every day of his life. That’s your hook and line. 

For the sinker, send him a selfie of you in one of his sweaters all cozy in bed with a empty space beside you with a text saying ‘I miss you so much, I’m so cold and lonely without you :(‘ no matter how cheesy you think it is, it will capture good ol’ peepaw’s heart.

He’ll go ‘Oh no :( I left my dearest all alone, how could I? Shall I come home early tonight, amore mio?’ And voilà he’s home in less than half a hour. Mission successful. 

Secondo

You’d think if you send nudes it’ll rile him up enough to come home and have his wicked wiles with you but no. This man is shameless. He’ll get off right then and there to your picture and send one back of his handiwork with a promise to absolutely ruin you later for trying to tempt him. 

The first time you do this you learn that while it is a good motivator, it does not get him home any faster. Kind of backfires because when he sends you a well-framed shot of himself in hand entirely spent and messy, you're the one getting all hot and bothered now.

What really gets him home quickly is your home cooking. Make any authentic dish (especially with his mom’s recipe) and mans will be home in less than 20 minutes because that shit is fire when it’s hot out the oven.

He knows if he waits it’ll either get soggy or cold and he hates re-heating food. If you make his favorite he’ll be back in even less time.

Terzo

Where nudes don’t bring Secondo back, it’ll send Terzo packing for home. He’ll be back so fast you barely have time to put your phone down. He is so enthusiastic and most times it feels like he just can’t get enough of you.

Sure, he could wait until he’s done with his work to go home to you, glance at his phone every so often to motivate himself to finish quicker, but where’s the fun in that? His tesoro’s ready for him and who is he to keep them waiting?

He’ll dump his work onto some poor unsuspecting sibling of sin or ghoul and be out the door in seconds.

While it's very effective, you should be prepared to follow through with this man

Alright. For my ace-spectrum lovelies and those who feel uncomfortable with the idea of sex, I love you and you are so valid. Your method of choice will be Italian Soap Operas.

Every night before bed you'll watch a few episodes of a soap opera together, following along and commenting on outrageous choices or acting and pointing this out to each other.

Tell him if he doesn't come home, you're gonna start it without him. If that doesn't seem to get his butt moving, send another text ten minutes later saying 'do you want spoilers' or 'i did not expect that to pan out this way' or something about the episode coming up and he will respond with keysmashes and be on the way in no time.

Copia

Rat photos. Send him cute photos of his rats and he will cave and want to go home.

He’s a hard worker so sometimes he pulls all nighters and then just stays in the office for the whole next day as well. To lure him back to make sure he’s taking care of himself and getting food and sleep, make pancakes.

Make some for you and him and then tiny pancakes for the rats and take a picture. Tell him they’re waiting on him to eat together! They’re starving! But they really wanna wait for their papa to have breakfast together. Copia is home in minutes. 

You can also send vaguely threatening (but not really) texts with a blurry photo of his beloved rats (like this post that I love very much) with a text saying “come home or she/he gets it”. He’s not worried that you’ll actually do anything to his babies, but he’ll still want to come home faster because fuck that’s really cute and funny of you.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 57 (Reaping Rewards?)

The morning after Heather and Conrad's trip to the lighthouse, he returned from an early morning run with Gord and checked the mail. (That mailbox came with the house in the gallery and I feel great leaving it.) Along with the usual collection of bills and flyers for the fish market down at the docks, a strange newsletter, advertising a so-called "Recipe for Life," had been delivered.

Heather put down the trifold from the Ambrosia Society. She'd never heard of it. "It's a little strange we were just talking about ghosts and unfinished business, and the next day a newsletter arrives talking about ambrosia," she mused.

They weren't sure whether to be intrigued or disturbed - perhaps a little of both - but they couldn't deny their curiosity. Conrad looked them up on his phone. "They look legit, and I can check them out on the police computers on Monday - but you're almost a master gardener and you're already a master cook. Sorta seems like a challenge you could meet without even trying."

"I could learn to make ambrosia treats along with the Recipe for Life, as the newsletter calls it. I've stuck to wellness treats so far, but lots of pet owners ask about ambrosia. Maybe ambrosia treats could help you track down that dog you heard at the lighthouse. And knowing how to make ambrosia could definitely come in handy if the Landgraab curse strikes again."

"What does it say we have to do?"

"We need to get this thing called a Grimophone, then plant a lily and a snapdragon. I should ask my mother for help but I think whoever sent the newsletter eventually wants us to graft and grow a death flower in exchange for the recipe. She harvests them sometimes and taught me how when I was younger; she can sell them for a lot of money, but we don't have a lot of indoor space and the plants are seasonal. We'd probably have to use the hall outside Ash's room."

"Not that I think it's a great idea to give a toddler a bunch of thorny plants, and you know what I think about the curse, but if you load up Ash with a bundle of death flowers, no curse would ever be able to touch him. He'd need at least nine lives," said Conrad.

"Maybe when he's older." She frowned. "I'd rather not scare him or lie to him about what they're for. But doing this could help keep him safe. That's all I want."

Despite their busy lifestyles, they were more attracted to the challenge set forth in the newsletter with each passing thought.

"I don't mind cooking more, learning the recipe myself. I meant it when I said I'd do anything to keep you and Ash safe, but we're a team, and you're not going to do this alone," he said. "It's dangerous messing around with death."

Visiting her family in Henford, Heather picked up some flower seeds from her expert botanist mother and asked her sister-in-law, a walking Simpedia on all kinds of topics, about the Grimophone.

"My mother has one," said Cass. "Anything paranormal, you name it. She bought it."

"What does it do?"

"It plays any music you want, but the real trick is it'll help you summon the Grim Reaper. If you go see my mother, she'd be happy to show it to you."

After work one rainy evening, Heather and Conrad stopped by to visit Bella Goth at her mansion in Cavalier Cove. Through her years spent obsessing over the supernatural, she'd collected various items that now took up space in her attic.

Heather was nervous. "And summoning the Grim Reaper will help us learn to make ambrosia? It won't do anything else...like unleash death and destruction?"

"From Grimmie? Hardly! He's just a courier. Jokes he wears bicycle shorts under all those black robes."

"You know the Grim Reaper?"

"He was the last person to see my brother alive, so I had to find a way to talk to him. But he was so kind. We struck up a nice friendship."

"According to the newsletter, we'll probably have to make friends with him, too."

"I bet Grimmie asked the society to set the challenge just so he could make a bunch of new friends! He knows plenty of people know how to make ambrosia, but he wishes people were less afraid of him. Culling sims all day can be a lonely existence, you know."

Bella led them upstairs and pulled out her old Grimophone, blowing off the dust to reveal a music player made of matte black steel. "If you want, I could pull out the seance table and you could ask the spirits about ambrosia. That should help you learn the recipe in no time."

Conrad stepped forward. "Is it safe?"

"I haven't used it in years so it might be a little shaky, but the spirits who stick around to answer simple questions are harmless. Mostly departed mentors who miss teaching."

She sat with Heather and Conrad at the small round table draped in purple and gold cloth. She blew away more dust, and Heather's allergies made her sneeze.

"Watcher bless you," said Bella. "It's especially important to say such a thing if you sneeze around a seance table. We don't need any spirits stealing your soul!"

"This is a bad idea. Heather, maybe we should think more about this."

"Conrad, it's okay. I still have my soul," Heather assured him. "We're here for Ash, so we might as well ask about the ambrosia."

Bella showed them how to convene with the spirits with their palms open on the table. She chanted a rhyme that sounded faintly Omiscan, and suddenly a blue flame flickered to life before their eyes.

Floating above the table, the flame bent it's shape into a hoop, like a tunnel for spirits and sims to commune on one plane. Heather seemed possessed, swaying with the pulsing circle above their heads as jumbled Simlish spewed from her lips.

"What's happening to her?" Conrad was frightened, but Bella smiled warmly.

"She's fine. They're just having a conversation."

"Make it stop!"

"They'll only be a few minutes. If I pull her out before they're finished, she might not be able to get in touch with them again. They think it's rude if you just leave."

"Is she even conscious?"

"In a way."

"Could she get...stuck?"

"Oh, that's rare!" She laughed while Conrad's heartrate quickened.

"Mrs. Goth, if anything happens to her in there-"

"What's going on?"

Bella's son, Alexander, walked nonchalantly into the room. The flaming blue portal to another dimension didn't phase him.

"Heather's travelling with some of my old gear, sweetheart."

"Is this that newsletter thing?"

"This was my idea," she admitted. "But Heather's fine."

"Do you think you'll be done before Lydia gets back from spin class? This might freak her out a bit."

Finally, disappearing as rapidly as it first appeared, the blue light released Heather from her trance. "Wow!" she breathed, lowering her hands and reacquainting herself with her surroundings. "That was nuts! How long was I out?"

"A few minutes, just like I expected." Bella shot Conrad a satisfied grin while his shoulders dropped in relief.

"I just went to school and learned about ambrosia for three days. I feel like I could make ambrosia treats in my sleep! They said we can only learn the Recipe for Life by following the instructions as they're given, and the next thing we need to do is summon the Grim Reaper on the Grimophone."

"Did you want mine?"

"You don't need it?"

"Grim and I are such good friends, I can just call him on my phone. Go ahead, have fun, but it drops a fair bit of soot in the air from the horn. Just a warning!"

When they returned home, Conrad held her close, still unnerved by what he witnessed. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Conrad, I'm fine," she insisted. "It wasn't a big deal. It was school. Nothing dangerous."

"If we use Mrs. Goth's table again, you're not travelling or whatever she called it. I will. I can't let anything happen to you."

She didn't mind his protective stance despite her independence. He always made her feel safe, and she wanted him to see where she'd been so he'd know the place was nothing to fear. But they were both exhausted by the events in Bella's attic, and they decided to wait to use the borrowed Grimophone.

For now, they'd plant their seeds and wait to see if the Ambrosia Society sent another newsletter. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: As a master vet Heather knew how to make ambrosia treats. She's had a couple in reserve for a long time, but I'm pretending they're not there yet. She hasn't sold or used one because I've been plotting this paranormal storyline and wasn't sure when to bring it in, but Reapers Rewards presented a great opportunity, especially with death on their minds so recently with Ash's accident, and Heather constantly trying to improve her clinic's rating. Yesterday's post was always meant as a soft launch, but it wasn't going to get this supernatural for a while!

The storyline is actually for Conrad more than Heather, but these two are an excellent team so I don't mind that I accidentally sent Heather through the flame portal and not Conrad. He was legit upset, raising his voice to Bella while it was happening, so that stuff wrote itself and proved he's as incredible as we all think he is. Plus Heather's the one with the skills that will hopefully make this challenge a breeze, let me collect quasi-free stuff and write while Conrad gets some skills up, so they're definitely going to do this one together.

[your-averagewriter]

"Carm, the pastries!"

Summary: Carmen wants (y/n) to learn how to cook, starting with a 'simple' pastry dish but they get a little distracted while the pastries are in the oven.

Word count: 1.5K

Warnings: Kissing, making out, swearing

-

“Babe?” I ask, scrolling on my phone in the lounge as he does stuff in our kitchen.

“Yeah?” He yells from the kitchen, throwing a tea towel over his shoulder as he leans on the doorway of the lounge.

“Can you make this?” I ask showing him a picture of a dessert that I found online. He gently takes the phone and scrolls down the recipe.

“C’mon, even you can make this.” He says, passing my phone back with a smile.

“You know how bad I am at cooking.” I chuckle. “Can you make it for me? Please?” I ask, sweetly.

“No, come on, I’ll show you how to make it.” He says walking back over to the kitchen.

“But I can’t cook!” I yell as he walks off.

“I'll teach you!” He yells back and I pull myself off the sofa and walk into the kitchen.

Walking into the kitchen I watch as he pulls out some ingredients from the draws, flour, sugar, butter, milk…

“Sweetheart, it’s just some pastry and meringue.” He says chuckling as he sets things up.

“Carmy, you’re a professional chef, of course that sounds easy to you.” I mutter, feeling not very confident.

“Yeah, and you need to learn how to cook. What if I go away for a little bit, what are you gonna do?” He asks, looking at me as I think.

“Come with you.” I smile then pause. “Or just order take out.” I grin.

“Greasy food? For days in a row?” I  just nod.

“Don’t underestimate me.” I laugh.

“You definitely need to learn to cook.” He chuckles.

“Fine.” I mumble, knowing he’s probably right.

There’s a comfortable silence for a little bit as Carmen sets up the stuff for making the meringue.

“Crack these eggs.” He says offering me the eggs and I look at them, unsure what to do and he definitely notices. “You’ve cracked an egg before, right?” He asks, doubtful as I shake my head but then he just laughs. “You’re gonna need a few more lessons than I thought.” He smiles and shows me how to crack an egg, making it look easier than it actually is.

Trying to crack the egg, it doesn’t work the first time so I bash it against the counter again and the egg spills everywhere on the table.

“Fuck.” I say stepping away. “Carm, it’s everywhere.” I point out as I move to grab some tissues.

I wipe up the mess from the eggs as he watches the mess I’ve caused in his kitchen in mere seconds.

“Maybe I’ll crack the eggs.” He says, looking at me with a small smirk.

“That might be best.” I mumble putting the tissues in the bin,

After finishing the meringue we move onto something that should be more simple - making the pastry after all there’s only so much mess you can make, right?

I measure out the right amount of flour not failing to get some on myself as I do so, much to Carmen’s amusement.

“I’ve measured the flour.” I say, thinking I’ve wiped off all the spare flour on me but Carm just smirks. “What?” I ask as he moves closer.

“You’ve got a little something on your nose.” He says,moving his fingers to swipe over my nose, removing the leftover flour before pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of my nose. “You’ve made quite a mess so far.” He chuckles looking at the flour and remnants of egg on the counter.

“Sorry about that.” I mumble, looking around. “I’m not the best cook.” I show an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay, it might take a little while for you to learn to cook though…” He trails off, his hands resting on my hips as he looks down at me.

“Yeah, I think I’ll just stick to your amazing food and when you’re not here the greasy take out.” I tease with a smirk.

“I’m still gonna teach you.” He says pulling me closer, my back pressed slightly against the counter. “It’s just gonna take longer than I thought it would.” He smirks before pressing his lips against mine gently.

It’s soft and gentle for a few moments before he pulls back, I chase his lips with a quiet whine when he pulls back with a chuckle.

“We’ve still got a dessert to make.” He says, leaning away as I frown jokingly.

“Fine. What next?” I roll my eyes.

“We’ve gotta make the pastry now, get ready to get your hands dirty.”

“Okay.” I say taking a deep breath. “Show me how then.”

He pours out the mixture onto the counter and moves me to stand in front of him by the counter as he stands behind me, his arms wrapped around me.

“Just rub it between your fingers, like this.” He mumbles by my ear, rubbing the mixture between his fingers so it becomes a bread crumb like mixture. “Try it.” He prompts and I move my hands towards the mixture picking it up and squeezing it but Carmen quickly swats my hands away gently.

“Not like that, love,” He chuckles. “Give me your hands.” He says softly as he wraps his larger hands around mine helping simulate the movements. “Like that.” He says, his warm hands placed on top of mine as he gently moves my fingers through the mixture, doing it properly.

“You have nice hands.” I murmur quietly as he continues to help me, distracted by the feeling of his large, calloused hands on mine.

He chuckles lowly. “Don’t focus on my hands, sweetheart. Focus on the pastry.” I hum a ‘yes’ and continue to try and focus on the food in front of us until he seems satisfied. “See, I knew you could do it.” He smiles. “Just needed a little help.” He presses a kiss to the side of my face.

“Can we cook it now?” I ask, looking at the mixture then turning to look at him.

“Not quite.” He chuckles.

We finish off mixing and cutting and cooking everything and eventually it ends up in the oven, both of us somewhat satisfied with the result.

“I think we should set a timer.” I suggest, looking at it.

“Nah, it’ll be fine. They don’t need long.” He reassures and I shrug assuming he knows best.

“If you’re sure.” I say. “We should probably clean up.” I say beginning to clean the sides of the flour and egg I had previously spilt.

Carmen cleans up as well at least for a little bit until he pushes himself against me, so I ‘m pressed against the counter, his hips pinning mine.

“Carmy, what’re you doing?” I ask as I turn to face him as his hands move to rest on my waist with a smirk.

Soon after me turning around he presses his lips against mine feverishly. His hands grip onto my hips and I question whether I’ll have marks on skin tomorrow, not that I mind much. His lips push against mine as he nibbles on my bottom lip asking for me to open my mouth and I gladly do so allowing his tongue to venture inside my mouth.

His tongue swipes over mine as it explores the crevices of my mouth, his lips still push against mine harshly and I know my lips are gonna be swollen afterwards. My eyes flutter closed as I wrap my arms around his neck, my fingers tangling in the strands of his hair, pulling gently eliciting sighs from his lips, sweet sounds pouring right into my mouth.

After minutes of making out, both of us trying to pull the other impossibly closer I start to smell burning. I open my eyes and my senses perk up as I smell burnt food. Quickly tapping on Carmen’s thigh he pulls away to look at me, confused.

“Carm, the pastries!” I point out and he sniffs before smelling the burnt food.

“Shit, shit, shit.” He says, moving quickly around me to get to the oven quickly opening it revealing plumes of smoke. He wafts away the smoke before grabbing an oven glove and pulling out the tray of pastries revealing the charred mess. Placing them on the counter he quickly sorts out the smoke, not wanting to set off the fire alarm before walking back over, slicking his hair over his head with a slightly stressed expression.

“I did say we should’ve set a timer.” I smirk, smug that I was right.

“Yeah, yeah.” He dismisses. “Sorry ‘bout your pastries.” He says, running a hand through his hair, placing the oven glove on the side.

“It’s okay, I still had fun.” I smile, taking his hands in mine. “I enjoyed cooking with you even though I’m really bad at it and made a mess of your kitchen.” I chuckle, a little embarrassed that I was that bad.

“With a little help, or maybe a lot of help, I’m sure you’ll be a great chef.” He says, pressing a kiss to my forehead with a smirk.

-

AN: I hope you enjoyed reading!

Just started watching season 2 of The Bear and so far it's very good (just like season 1) and I still love Carmen.

[extrakatelyn]

extrakatelyn’s personal growth may challenge (update) ᰔᩚ

˚ ༘· week 1 & 2 ˚ ₊˚ ˑ༄ؘ

- drinking more water

i’ve been doing really good in this area actually! i have been drinking at least one of my stanley cups of water a day (i have the 40oz). definetly going to the bathroom more but it doesn’t bother me especially bc its for the better of my health.

- start exercising more often

out of all the areas im ngl this the one i have been lacking in bc im trying to figure out what plan to go w regarding my gym thts closest to me but most likely going to end up signing up mid may.

- affirming & manifesting

i have been affirming & setting my manifestation intentions daily. saying out loud as often as i can as well as writing it down in my journal specifically for manifestation etc.

- trying out new baking recipes

made some cupcakes the other day! definitely want to perfect that and tweak it to make it perfect!

- becoming more disciplined

this was one of the main things i wanted to practice bc i knew it would have such a major impact in all areas of my life. i been doing really good in regards to this. getting up everyday and not going om my phone first thing and sticking to tht. journaling everyday and sticking to it. eating out less. basically everything tbh. super proud of my progress in this area

- build my savings more

been doing sooo good here too ! learning to not take out of my savings and if i really want something i need to wait and save for it. another place where discipline comes in

- start actually getting ready for the day

im ngl i have been lacking in this area a little but thats okay! i go to work about 3-4 times a week and im getting ready for tht so progress is progress.

- journaling

literally amaze. been journaling everyday consistently and i lovee. something about waking up, taking a big gulp of water, and opening your curtains to let the sun in while you journal. like it just puts me in a good and fresh mood. ready to start the day. aware of my goals for tht day and such. also lets my brain ease into waking up instead of going straight on my phone and waking it up w/ whatever nonsense social media has going on.

[feel completely free to join in with me in this challenge and even add some things of your own! its totally customizable. I will be checking in on here periodically to tell you guys my progress as well as the things I've done to help me get to my goals]

xoxo

𝑒𝓍𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓀𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓎𝓃💋

[drafgost]

Grippy

Man I’m so pissed that this is gonna be my first post but I have GOT to break my silence for Grippy. I need to know why these cheeks hit the fucking airwaves. She a ten piece like a mcnugget. What else can I really say? We’re talking about Grippy by Cash Cobain & J. Cole.

I’m not usually going to dive into the lyrics this much, but something about this song broke me. Every bar is straight ass and I’m compelled to talk about it. Grippy. I’m also going to be much more organized than this, but I’ve lost my. Fucking. Grippy. On what semblance of sanity I retain.

The song starts immediately with a dull ass beat and J. Cole briefly describing the progression of a relationship between him and a girl.

“She like my kick game

And when you know me, you don’t kick game

I put her front row at the Knick game

Now she in my phone with a nickname”

Unfortunately for us all, after a line where it seems like he’s actively trying to come up with said nickname because he’s just saying “it’s, it’s, ummm”, he tells us that she’s down in his phone as Grippy. Why? Don’t worry, he guides us through his thought process, just in case we were lost.

“Grippy, I call her that ‘cause it’s grippy”

What else, Jermaine?

“She thick in the hips, she a hippie

And she thick in the lips, she gon’ lick me”

-

“When she see me, she say she gon’ strip me

She gon’ chew on this stick like it’s Wrigley’s”

I don’t want to know that, Jermaine.

I don’t know why he thought this next bar would be a reasonable thing to say, but he also just said he wanted Grippy to gnaw on his wood like a beaver so I think dude was just operating on some real hell dimension vibes.

“She said she was gay until I slayed

Now she strictly dickly”

There’s no bars of noteworthy ass past this point from J. Grippy pages him and he hits 150 to get there, running Hollywood Cole a $100 base fine for speeding if the Grippyverse takes place in Cali. He has a Grippepiphany. We learn that Grippy is wet. Cole introduces Sabrina and Tiffany and they only pass one third of the Bechdel test. After he states that he “tryna see how that glove gon’ fit” (this is what OJ died for) and that he “wanna feel like [he] touchin’ [Grippy’s] kidneys”, he offers to take her kids to Disney.

That was utterly terrible, but we’re not done. You fucking buffoons have sorely neglected the real villain of this track: Cash Cobain.

“I wanna kill it like rest in peace

Eat on that pussy like it was a recipe”

So far, not worse than Grippy. A real Trojan Horse of pussy verses. How bad could it get?

We have a brief respite while Cash fucking rambles while saying random women’s names, but then he throws us one of his best bars on the song:

“You piss my bitches off like a potty”

More woman rambling. He wants to make Jess a mess, he has something he must confess, he wants to see her undress and is about to send her his address. He wants to fuck Millie ‘til she’s dizzy, and wants her to “suck it sloppy, make it spitty”. Finally, while still addressing poor Spitty Millie, he delivers his magnum opus:

That’s all lots of unpack, and we can truly only scratch the surface. The Grippyverse is immense, and I was certainly overwhelmed by Marvel-level character buildup clogging the narrative artery. Grippy, Sabrina, Tiffany, Destiny (rest in peace), Pregnancy Scare Shanti, Zari, Mia, Jada, Mash Potatoes Kayla, Good Vagina China, Shy Niyah, Toni Macaroni, Polisher Lexi and a possible second Destiny, Marni and her immense conflict, Jess the Mess, and Spitty Millie are all introduced in the freakiest fucking four minute role call I’ve heard to date. How do they relate to each other, if at all? We know the first three are friends, as Cole state’s he thought the whole clique was bad but liked Grippy the best. Are the two Destiny’s aware of each other? Did Polisher Destiny murk Destiny Rest In Peace to take her place? Why doesn’t Cash want to talk to Marni? What did she do to piss off bitches like a potty? Why is the beat so fucking boring?

I haven’t touched on how the song sounds. It sounds the same. The whole song sounds like a trickle of consistent noise. The beat is boring as shit and remains boring as shit the whole run. I listened to the song a few times to really get a feel and kept forgetting it was on once I began to ignore the lyrics.

The one ounce of joy I derived from this song were the initial Genius annotations that were later replaced by people just desperately trying to make sense of this pile of wet sawdust by explaining the potty bar, and what a pager was. “UNC FREAKY” was a much better thing to read than exposition on why Jermaine Lamarr Cole immortalized some poor woman as Grippy, which was readily evident within context.

My Final Rating of Grippy

Lyrics: 2/10

One point awarded for the potty bar. I won’t explain myself. Another point awarded out of respect for Destiny Rest In Peace (peace be upon her, Amen)

Vocals: 5/10

Literally just so average. Nothing special and nothing terrible, and just not worth giving anything other than an average score.

Sound: 5/10

Once again just so infuriatingly bland. Absolutely nothing special about it whatsoever, for better or worse.

Overall Score

Averaging my numbers equals out to

But I will not tarnish my good name by rating this hot bowl of mac n cheeks so high, so it gets a

[euphoricimagination]

Synopsis: The weeks have passed, now you're two days away from the preliminaries of the Interhigh when the brackets of the matches arrived, Nekoma is against the infamous Itachiyama High. Will they win and go to the Nationals?

Kenma x reader; Haikyuu x reader [platonic!]

Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10

From the beginning

The guys are having a practice match between them while you watch them and take notes; while writing down some notes about Lev, Coach Nekomata sits beside you, giving you a piece of paper.

“We received the positions for the preliminaries, we have a tough match. Let's wait until the set is done to tell them” he tells you while you look at the paper

And indeed, it's going to be hard to go to the nationals this time. The first match is against a school that you have played against before, so it shouldn't be much of a problem; however the second one will be against the winner of the last tournament, Itachiyama High.

“Guys, we received the matches, Yn-chan can you tell them the order?”

“Sure. So the first match is against Shinjuku Yamabuki High, we already had a practice match against them and you won without much problem. However, the second match is most likely going to be against Itachiyama”

“Well fuc-frick” Kuroo corrects himself to not swear in front of the coach “Luck isn't on our side this time, huh?”

“Huh? Why? I'm sure we can win!” says Lev

“The odds are really small though” answers Kenma

“Are they that good?” the tall boy continues asking

“Yep, they won last year tournament, their libero won an award for the best libero, they have a top 3 Ace nation-wide, and on top of that, they have an extremely strong offense AND defense” you say

“Oh...” says Lev

“You do have possibilities of winning, no team it's guaranteed to win, but it's going to be hard”

“Of course it's going to be hard, they are a good school. Let's just do our best like we always do and see what happens” adds Kuroo with his captain mode on

“That's the spirit, don't let this discourage you, if anything it can be a good learning opportunity. Take a 10 minute break before going back to practice” the coach tells them

With that the guys disperse, some went to the bathroom, some were talking to each other. Kuroo and you sit on the floor while Kenma lays on your lap with his phone, you instinctively started to play with his hair

“Be honest with us chibi-chan... Do you think we can win?”

“You do have chances, but objectively, the better team is ltachiyama”

“They are definitely better than us, it will be a miracle if we win” Kenma accommodates himself on your legs

“Don't be so pessimistic Kenma” says Kuroo

“Saying the truth is not being pessimistic. Yn, Shoyo says hi” answers Kenma

“Tell him I say hi too” you say, suddenly remembering something “Tetsu?”

“Yes chibi?”

“If we lose against Itachiyama... are you guys leaving right after?” You lay your head on his arm worried, since most third years tend to leave their clubs around this time.

“I don't want to speak for Yaku and Kai, but I'm not planning on leaving the club when we have more chances” he pats your head “don't worry chibi-chan, you still will have to deal with us”

“Good, I don't want you to go so soon”

“Aww, you love us!”

“Did you really think she would deal with us if she didn't?” Kenma roll his eyes

Once practice was over, the three of you started walking towards your houses, luckily there was a place where you could buy all the ingredients that you needed close to your house

“Fair point, let's go back to practice” The guys go back to practice, now putting in a little more effort than before. In the meantime you decided to text Osamu, an idea popping up to try to cheer your team up.

“Guys, I need to buy some ingredients. You can go to your houses” you tell them

“Why?” asks Kenma

“My mom saw a cooking show and wanted to try to make the dish, but she doesn’t understand the recipe fully. I can’t go to your house today, Ken, sorry” you say to the blonde setter

“It’s…okay. We can play later”

“Kenma, go to your house, I’ll stay with chibi-chan and help her” Kuroo adds

“Why you?” Kenma says squinting his eyes

“Don’t get jealous, lover boy, I just want to talk to chibi-chan, I’m not stealing her from you”

“I-I’m n-not jealous” Kenma says, blushing looking to the other side “I’ll talk to you later Yn”

“Sure” you ignore your blush cheeks at Kuroo’s words. You two enter and start looking for the things that you needed to buy

“So chibi-chan, I’ve been wondering… where did you and Kenma go the other day?” He asks with a smirk

“To a cat café”

“How did you manage to make him go out?”

“I just asked him. At the beginning he didn’t want to, but then he agreed” you shrugged

“You didn’t even have to forced him out, but then again, if there’s someone who he will do anything for, it’s you”

“Eh?! Wh-what do you mean?” you got flustered one more time

“Kenma is a big softie for you, how did you manage to do that? It's so hard for him to warm up to people and then you appear. I've never seen Kenma being so open to anything, really”

“I…I don’t know how it happened either”

“Well, just know that Kenma definitely has a soft spot for you and you only, he will give you the moon if you ask him”

“Thanks, Tetsu, means a lot. We should go, I have everything”

Once you arrive at your house you take a quick shower before starting to follow the recipes that Osamu sent you. This was the first time you made them without him by your side, but thankfully he put some notes to make it easier.

The next day classes passed by like normal, and while you were a bit tired from yesterday, it felt nice doing something for the team. Right before entering the gym with Kenma, you noticed some of the first years going to the vending machines

“Guys! Come here please!” you say loud enough for them to hear you

“Yn-chan! Can we buy something first?” asks Lev coming to hug you

“You can do it later, I need the whole team in the gym first”

“Sure Yn-san” says Inuoka taking Lev with him. You can feel Kenma eyes looking at you confused, but you just take his arm and pull him towards the gym.

“What does our beautiful manager need us for” Kuroo asks while you put the bag in the bench

“Open it” you say starting to get shy. Kuroo goes and opens it, everyone having their eyes on it

“Chibi-chaan! You made onigiris for us?”

“Chibi-chaaan!!” you heard before being wrapped in a bunch of arms, lots of thank you’s around you

“Is this why you were tired?” Kenma says taking one from the bag, making you look at him confused after freeing yourself from all the arms “You were quieter than usual today”

“Yn-chan! These are sooo good!” Lev exclaims making everyone take one and start eating. Everyone was saying a bunch of compliments about how good they were.

“Yn these are amazing” Kenma says behind you, eyes wide open

“I’m glad you like them, Ken”

“I love them” he looks at you with a smile. You continue talking, almost forgetting everyone else was still around. Kenma’s eyes were looking at you with the softest look he has ever had; a small smile on his face; and the more you talk, the redder his cheeks became. You were so busy that you didn’t realize that everyone else could see the adoration in your eyes.

“I swear, if they’re not dating before we leave, I’ll take matters into my own hands” whispers Kuroo to Yaku and Kai, who silently agree.

To everyone dismay, the snack break comes to an end, the guys going back to practice

“Yn-chan! Can you cook for us again?” says Lev

“Maybe, maybe not. Who knows?”

“But it was soo good! Please!”

“If you don’t get better then I’m not cooking for you”

“Yaku-san, help me practice receives!!” screams at a very confused Yaku

“He’s so annoying” says Kenma

“Stop being so grumpy and go to practice, you have important matches tomorrow”

“I’m going, I’m going”

The practice continues until later than normal, some of them wanting to practice a little more than usual for tomorrow. It’s around 19:30 when you finally close the gym to go home, Kuroo and Kenma waiting for outside to start walking home

“Your Onigiris were seriously good Chibi, can you make our lunches for tomorrow?”

“I love you all, but I’m not waking up at 4 am to make you lunch. My love has limits”

“It was worth a try” Kuroo says while arriving to your houses “Tomorrow’s the big day, chibi-chan make sure Kenma doesn’t stay up until too late for me”

“Like I would let that happen” Before you could say bye to Kuroo, Kenma took your wrist and pulled you to his house, making Kuroo laugh before leaving. Kenma let go only when you arrived at his room.

“What was that for Ken?”

“If we’re sleeping early then there’s not much time to play” he grabs your bag, taking two onigiris out

“Are you not nervous?” you sit down next to him

“Not really, all of us are going to do our best, winning or losing doesn’t change that”

“Then I better see you doing your best tomorrow” you lay your head on his shoulder

“I will…” after a pause he adds “Thank you for doing so much for us. I don’t think we thank you a lot for all the things you do”

“Aww Kenma is feeling soft today?” you receive a glare from him “I’m kidding, I’m kidding, it makes me happy seeing you get better and knowing that I helped”

“You’re too nice sometimes”

“Or you’re just too grumpy”

“I’m not grumpy”

“That’s debatable, have you seen how you treat Lev?”

“But that’s different, he’s annoying”

“He’s just a happy boy”

“An annoying happy boy. Now let’s play a little, I need to see if you have any good offers in your island”

“I’ll let it go for now…but I still think you’re grumpy sometimes”

The hours pass quickly while playing. After playing Animal Crossing he said that there was a level that he wanted to pass in another game, so now you’re sitting together in silence while he plays. You look at your phone to see the time, only to find out it was 12:35 am, not particularly late but definitely a good time to sleep considering tomorrow’s schedule.

++

You arrived at the gym at 10:00 am, early enough for the guys to stretch, warm up and overall relax. The gym full of colors made you remember the first time you were in this situation, but this time you were wearing a bright red jacket instead of a contrasting black one.

“Yn-chan, don’t get away from us!” screams Yamamoto glaring at everyone who dared to look in your direction “nobody can talk to OUR manager”

“Don’ t tell me with who I can or cannot talk, I’m the one deciding that”

“Yn-chan, you don’t understand how beautiful you are, what if we leave you alone and someone makes you uncomfortable?” Yamamoto cries

“Tora, I’m sure Yn can defend herself if that happens, and if she can’t then she would tell us right away, right Yn-chan?” says Kai

“You also know that Yn can be scary if she wants to, stop bothering her” adds Kenma taking your pinky into his nonchalantly

“Exactly, thank you Kai-san, Ken. Look Tora, I appreciate you wanting to protect me, but I don’t need that now”

“Let’s agree on something. Tora, you stop glaring and trying to fight everyone here, you chibi-chan need to be in our field of view just in case you need us” says Kuroo. While not a perfect solution, it will do for now

“Fine. I’m going to refill your bottles, don’t stay too close, okay?” You go to refill them in a little fountain near the bathrooms, seeing that the boys settle down on the other end of the room. You receive a text right before opening the bottle

[Kenma😻] “They are being extremely overprotective” “It’s like they don’t know you can handle yourself”

[Me] “It’s fine, I can understand it” “Thank you for not treating me like that though”

You put the phone in your pocket and start taking the bottles out of the bag. While the reaction was quite annoying and exaggerated, you did get from where they were coming from, you were in a room full of teenagers and lived similar situations before

You were filling the bottles when you heard a loud “YAMAMOTO STOP! REMEMBER THE DEAL!” from Kuroo. You turn to look at them, only to find an annoyed Kuroo holding Yamamoto, who's glaring at someone. You follow where he’s looking, only to find someone in front of you.

“It is you! I knew that I had seen you before”

“Komori-kun hi! How are you? Sakusa-kun isn’t with you?” you went to give him a quick hug, recognizing the libero in front

“I’m fine, he went to the bathroom while I came here to refill our waters”

“You’re telling me that your school doesn’t have managers?”

“haha no, we do, these are our personal bottles. I didn’t want to bother them with these too. So Yn-chan, what are you-”

“Weren’t you in Inarizaki? What are you doing here?” you turn around only to find Sakusa looking down at where you were, confused. Before answering you quickly look at your team, seeing them with wide eyes and some with their mouths a little open.

“Hi Sakusa-kun, it’s nice to see you. I’m fine, thanks for asking, how are you?” you say sarcastically, hearing some chuckling from Komori while Sakusa close his eyes and sighs

“Hi Yn, I’m fine too. Weren’t you in Inarizaki?”

“Yeah I was, my father had to move to Tokyo so now I’m on Nekoma” he nods as an answer while I continue filling the bottles.

“You know, you’re probably the only person who has talked to Sakusa like that, everyone is either overly respectful or too afraid” says Komori

“Glad to be the first, I guess. Can I ask you something Sakusa-kun?” You ask him nod “Why do you always wear a mask? Isn’t it uncomfortable here?”

“I don’t want to get the germs of other people near my face”

“Sakusa is really clean and neat, he takes a lot of precautions, that’s why it surprise me that you had to use the bathroom” he looks at you to explain “he doesn’t use public bathrooms”

“They were disgustingly dirty”

“Do you want a wet wipe? I have some” Sakusa eyes get a little bigger, however he goes back to his normal self quickly

“If you could, then yes” he says. You open the front pocket of the bag to take one of the packages of wet wipes that you had. You hand it to him so he could take it out, which he does with a slight relief in his face “Thank you”

“I didn’t thought you had those with you, I’ve never seen someone with them” says Komori

“Well, I hate having my hands dirty, so this is helpful”

“You have good points. We have a match against you guys in the second round, I’m excited!”

“Yeah, our luck couldn't be worse” you take the towel out to dry them off.

“Why? You guys are good too” Sakusa asks

“Yeah, but you are objectively better. Your offense and defense are stronger, and I still don't understand what the hell you do to the ball” you look at Sakusa

“Hey, at least you notice something, that's good. I can always tell you”

“Komori, no matter how nice she is, you're not supposed to help our rival. Specially when I'm sure she can figure it out on her own” Sakusa says, a smile threatening to appear

“Oh, I will figure it out, I just need to see it from a good angle”

“I’m sure you will, after all you were basically another coach when you were in Inarizaki. See you” Sakusa leaves after giving you a nod

“Good luck on your matches, see you later, Yn-chan!” Komori leaves too. You take the bag and go back to the guys, who are looking at you confused.

“Chibi-chan…you know Sakusa? THE Sakusa?”

“Yeah, I met them last year. Bokuto-san presented us and then they helped me out with some dudes”

“Oh, so let him help you, but not us! Yn-chan I’m disappointed” says Yamamoto with a pout and cross arms

“I didn’t let him, he appeared before I could say anything back. Forget about Sakusa-kun and focus on the match you have soon”

“Yeah, we should go warm up, the match is in 20 minutes” Yaku helps you out, making the rest of the team move to do their warm ups

The match starts soon enough against Shinjuku Yamabuki High. The guys already knew how they played, and while they did got a bit better, it was still not enough to beat the boys, who won the 2 sets pretty quickly. You waited for them outside of the gym while they were putting the balls in the cart, always keeping an eye on them for good measure. Out of nowhere, you feel a pair of arms through your shoulders, making you stiff out of fear, before you heard a voice.

“Chibi-chan!! We finally see each other!!”

“Oh my god, Bokuto-san please say something before hugging me out of nowhere, you almost gave me a heart attack”

“I’m sorry Chibi-chan! I didn’t want to scare you!” says crushing you into his normal tight hug

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Let me say hi to Akaashi” you let go of him

“Hi Yn-chan, how did the match go?” Akaashi asks you

“Akaashi!” you give him a quick hug “This one went really good, what about you?”

“Of course we won, chibi-chan! Kuroo, Hi!!” says Bokuto before going to say hi to his friend, who was coming back with the rest of the team

“We won, Bokuto-san went into his emo mode though. Hello Kozume” Akaashi explains

“Akaashi-san” Kenma greets before laying his forehead on your shoulder, exhausted

“What happened to make him go like that?” you continue the conversation with Akaashi

“He failed some spikes, the usual; luckily, it was relatively easy to take him out of it”

“That’s always good, sometimes it can be really bad. What did you say?”

“I just said that you would probably want to cheer for him in Nationals, sorry for using your name so freely”

“It’s fine, I do want to. If we make it into Nationals, it will be so much easier for me to cheer for all of you” you say while moving to caress Kenma’s head

“Ah yeah, you guys go against Itachiyama now. Good luck”

“Chibi-chan! How come you never made ME onigiris? I have known you for longer than them!”

“I’ll make you something if you go to the Nationals Bokuto-san. So no more emo modes until then, okay?”

“Yay! Thank you Chibi-chan!” he rubs your head before leaving “I promise to be in my top form!”

“Yn-chan you really don’t have to” says Akaashi

“It’s alright, I’ll make something for my foxes too, I’ll just add Bokuto-san”

“Thank you, at least there will be no emo-modes for the rest of the preliminaries. We’ll go now, we have to eat lunch. Good luck Yn-chan, Kozume”

“Good luck to you too” you say before they leave, making you look at the rest of your cats, everyone except for Kenma who's still on your shoulder comfortably “You did amazing guys! Now let’s go to eat, you have another match in a few hours”

“You heard our manager. Let's go” Kuroo adds. You let them go in front while you go to the relaxation area, Kenma following you closely

“You making the guys food?” asks Kenma

“Yeah, it's my way to say thanks to Samu for teaching me how to cook these things and helping me out the other day. And I love the rest too much to not include them”

“You surely are close to them”

“Yes, specially Tsumu and Rin. I miss them” you say with a nostalgic look, so he takes your pinky hoping to help you out

“How many people are there?”

“Inarizaki has 16 members now, plus Bokuto-san, Akaashi, you and maybe Tetsu. So around 20 people... it's fine, it's gonna be fine, how hard can it be?” you say, mostly trying to convince yourself

“You don't sound sure about that” he chuckles while opening his Bento “see, you are too nice”

“Me being THIS nice almost never happens, might as well go all out. And you’re helping me”

“I don’t know how to cook”

“Then be my moral support, I’m going to need it. You just need to go and sit there on your game, since my company isn’t good enough for you” you joke

“You know I’ll be there anyways…You’re annoying you know?”

“But you love me” you joke, however Kenma doesn’t respond and just blush intensely, avoiding your eyes.

“Y-you should eat” he says. What you didn’t know was that Kenma, in his head, just realize that you were right. He was in love with you.

You finished eating, so now you are waiting for the match to start. To pass time you went to see Fukurodani match by the side of the court alongside Kenma and Kuroo

“Bokuto-san is killing it” says Kenma after an amazing cross shot of the owl

“He’s amazing to watch when he’s in the zone”

“They’re definitely taking one of the 2 spots for the Nationals, especially after our chibi-chan promise to cook something for Bokuto” adds Kuroo

“Don’t even remind me of that, where are the Nationals this time?”

“In Saitama, not too far away from here”

There were a few minutes before your own match starts, and you can see that the boys are a bit more nervous than normal, even Kenma is fidgeting a little with his fingers, so you gather all of them around before entering to the court

“Why are you guys so nervous? I know that Itachiyama is good, but you have play with good schools before, just do the same”

“We know, it’s just…well…I don’t know” says Yaku

“I guess, in a way, it's because of you chibi-chan” Kuroo adds; after seeing your confused face he proceeds to explain “it’s just…you have helped us so much these past months, and you were the manager of a team that already went into the Nationals and are probably going now too. I personally feel like we will disappoint you if we don’t win” he finishes, the rest of the team nodding silently.

“You guys need to stop thinking that I prefer my foxes over you” you cross your arms “I love both of you, whether you make it to the Nationals or not is not going to change that. I could have chosen Fukurodani or Itachiyama, but I didn’t and I don’t regret it one bit. The only way you could disappoint me is if you don’t give your all in the match, so stop thinking bullshit and get your asses into the court”

“Thank you, chibi-chan” Kuroo laughs “We seriously are lucky to have you”

“Yeah whatever, go to warm up” you push them lightly, making them chuckle even more.

The match starts after all the warm ups. Both teams had amazing defense, so the firsts points were really long rallies; it wasn’t until Nekoma hit 10 points though that Sakusa, who hasn’t really spiked the ball yet, started to spike. Yaku was right on the spot where the ball was going to hit, however despite being able to touch it, the ball went out of the court. He was definitely strong, there was no doubt about that, but there was something else. When Sakusa took another 2 consecutive points, you paid even more attention to how he hitted the ball, noticing that his wrists went lower than usual.

“Coach”

“Got it” says asking for a timeout. You look to where Komori is, who is already looking at you with a smile, so you point at your wrist while looking at Sakusa, you can see him laugh a little while nodding. After you pass them their bottles you go and tell them

“There’s something about that spin, is so hard to dig it” says Yaku

“It’s something about his wrist, they seem more…elastic? Flexible? Something like that” you say

“That’s the only way he could add the spin, balls with any spin are harder to dig” adds Kenma

“True, but with the amount of spin that he adds, it just makes it even harder. Plus, I’m sure he can change it, Komori-kun said that he takes a lot of precautions”

“Let’s continue like we’re doing for now, it has worked. I’m sure we can adapt to it, but he’s going to gain a lot of points by using it”

“We’re Nekoma, we can adapt to things, let’s not get demotivated and keep doing what we’re best at” says Kuroo

The match continues and just like you thought, Sakusa is able to change the amount of spin he puts into the ball, confusing Yaku in the process. Like Kenma said, they were starting to adapt to his spikes; however, while they were able to dig it, it usually ended up being shorter or longer than they needed, making it unstable to set. Sadly, by the end of the match Nekoma lost both sets, however they were able to bring a good fight, the scores being 23-25 and 26-28. When they were coming back to where you were waiting, you could see a small disappointment in their eyes.

“You did great guys! Well done!”

“Thank you chibi-chan”

“Let’s go to the coach, ok?” you say taking Kenma by the arm, who was exhausted after having to move to so many places

“Although we lost, I have to say you did really good guys, you gave a good fight to one of the top schools of the country. Well done” the coach says before leaving the court, followed by some of the guys. You pick up all the bottles and towels left to leave while Kenma and Kuroo were helping you.

“Yn-chan! Wait!” screams Komori before you leave the court, noticing some curious eyes looking in your direction when they notice the Ace of Itachiyama following slowly “Oh hi, that was a great match guys, well done!” says looking at Kuroo and Kenma smiling.

“Thank you, it was a great match indeed” Kuroo smiles politely

“By the way, you surprised me again Yn-chan, it only took you 3 spikes from Sakusa to notice his wrists. It normally takes longer” he tells you

“I mean, how else he could add so much spin to a ball? How do you do it?” you look at Sakusa with curious eyes

“I have flexible wrists, I learnt how to use it to my favor” he says while taking a mask out of his pocket “Can I have another wet wipe please?”

“So that's how you do it...makes sense now” you say passing him one when out of nowhere you feel a little tug on your jacket; assuming it was from Kenma, you try to wrap the conversation “Anyways, we need to go, the rest of the team is out already”

“Oh yeah, we also need to go. It was nice seeing you! Hope we get to see each other again!” Komori gives you a quick hug

“Be careful with the creepy guys. See you soon” Sakusa adds, giving a small nod before turning around. You leave the court after that, going to the bus after sharing some words with Bokuto and Akaashi. Once there, you sit down and take Kenma’s console so he can play, which he takes lazily before leaning on your shoulder.

“So tired”

“Of course you are, you had to move a lot. You did great today”

“Thanks” he starts playing a game silently, after a while he says in a really quiet voice “Sorry we couldn’t go to the Nationals”

“Ken, it’s fine. Seriously”

“But you wanted to see your friends”

“Yes, I did, and I’m still going to see them. You guys not going it’s not going to stop me”

“Sometimes I really don’t understand you” he chuckles lightly

“Is that bad?”

“Not really, I like it”

Once you arrive to the school, you go to the gym so the coach can do the final speech of the night. After he finishes, the guys go to clean themselves up, you are waiting for them outside to close the gym and walk home

“Yn-chaan! Kuroo-san said he’s buying us Chinese buns, join us!” Lev screams going out

“Well, the invitation was for Kenma and obviously chibi-chan, you just butt in” Kuroo says coming out of the gym

“We can stay over at Kenma-san house and play some games tog-”

“No”

“Kenma-san it will be fun! So we can be forget about today” adds Inuoka

“Well, guess we have a sleepover at Kenma’s today” Yaku shrugs

“I said no” Kenma squints

“I don’t think it was a question Kenma, plus you always have chibi-chan over, why can’t we?” Kuroo teases

“Because Yn is nice… Ughh fine, you can come over” says before taking your wrist and pulling you away from the rest

“And you dare to fight me when I say you’re grumpy”

“I’m not grumpy” he scoffs while ‘glaring’ at you

“Uh huh, sure”

“Hey lovebirds! Wait for us!” calls Kuroo, earning an actual glare from Kenma

Despite Kenma’s initial complaints, he actually wasn’t as annoyed as he claimed to be, he even had a tiny smile. The guys ended up in a competition of Mario kart while you were sitting in the couch eating some snacks, Kenma easily winning against every single one of them.

“Chibi-chan, it’s your turn” says Yaku

“About time, you guys get so goddamn loud playing” you sit on the floor next to Kenma, who hands you the control with a teasing smile

“Finally, an actual competition” he says receiving annoyed sounds from Lev, Kuroo and Yamamoto “I have seen all of you play, Yn it’s better than all of you combined”

“Rude”

“Don’t you dare to go easy like you did with the rest, I want to win with you actually trying”

“Wait, Kenma-san wasn’t even trying?!?” exclaims Lev

You started the first round with you having a loud cheer from the rest of the team, everything so Kenma doesn’t win. Both of you were so concentrated in the game that you couldn’t even hear Lev and Inuoka loud voices.

“Yes! Fucking finally! I finally won against you! It feels so good” you exclaim happily after finishing the last round that claim you as the final winner with Kenma being in a close second. You hear a mix of reactions, from surprise noises to happy cheers

“Don’t be so dramatic, it was just one” Kenma rolls his eyes with a little smile

“Shut up and let me have this”

“Fine, fine, you did good, you deserve it” After your victory everyone stopped playing since it was getting really late; the improvised hangout successfully making everyone happy. The guys wanted to talk, but soon enough everyone passed out in the couch except for you and Kenma.

“Ken stop playing, it’s late and I’m tired” you lay your head on his shoulder

“But…”

“Please” you mutter feeling your eyes close by the second. The last thing you felt before falling sleep was Kenma’s head on top of yours, whispering a small ‘good night’ to you.

[vviolame]

FOUND FAMILY PROMPTS 💌 ;;

feel free to use! (dialogue and scenarios)

please tag me, i wanna see what you do!!! 😽 vviolame 23’

“i love you, i hope you know that.”

“i love you in a kind of way that’s kinda hard to explain.”

“wanna go for ice cream?”

“do you still like oranges?” (or any other food uhghshsh)

“hey, do you remember-“

“hey, dad?- sorry-“ (IM WEAK)

“hey, mom?- sorry-“ (IM WEAKER)

“oh that’s so cool!” “you want me to teach you?”

“you’re like.. like, my safe place.”

“could I sleep on your lap?”

“can I put my head on your shoulder?”

“hey, would you mind if I took a quick shower?”

“i will never let that happen to you again.”

“anyone even tries to get near you? they’re dead.”

“yo, what flavor of slushee do you get?”

(bad ending) “you’ve never had a slushee.”

“your shoes look a little small..”

“are your feet tired?”

“i can carry you.”

“you know what’s thicker than blood? chocolate.”

“hello? do you know what fun is?”

“it’s okay, I’ll be right there with you.”

“you wanna make cookies?”

“oh, dude. you have no idea.”

“where are my socks?”

“you don’t know how to do laundry?”

“dude, when did you get so good at laundry.”

“i can help with the dishes”

“hey- are you safe?”

“where are you?”

“do you need me to come?”

“I’m coming to get you.”

“I’m so glad to be away from there..”

“oh, also, i saw this shirt I thought you’d love,”

“okay, just breathe. I’m right here.”

“you don’t have to deal with that here.”

“i know you’re scared, but you’re home now.”

“you guys are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“it’s like a weight got lifted off my chest.”

“this is so weird.. It’s so calm here..”

“you’re not mad?” “why would I be mad?”

“do you mean it?” “of course, I’ll never lie to you.”

“you trust me?”

“i trust you.”

“can I trust this?”

“oh my god, you look so good.”

“knock ‘em dead.”

“hey, what kind of cereals do you like?”

“i love you guys.”

“I’m declaring, movie night is tuesday.”

“yes, or course.”

“do you need more shampoo?”

“here, use my phone.”

“didn’t think I’d ever enjoy a car ride, until you hopped in my passenger seat.”

“huh, partner?”

SCENARIOS 💌 ;;

• they wake up from a nightmare, and go to their person (or people) for comfort, and after some calming down, they both (or all!!) fall asleep cuddling.

• they ask their person to go to the gas station late at night.

• they get hurt (fall, bike accident, cooking burn, ect.) and try to patch it up themselves, but get found and person b (forcibly) (but gently forcibly) patches them up.

• (adult/teenager and child) it’s bring your kid to work day, and they make a bet to see who slips up in their act of “this is my child” first.

• painting their eventually bought house together.

• sharing earbuds

• brushing the others hair

• reading them to sleep

• humming them to sleep

• setting up matching halloween costumes

• them all huddled up by a fan on a hot day

• learning recipes from each other.

and that’s all I have in me 😮‍💨. again, please tag me !!!!!! i would love to see all of your lovely lovely work!!!! thank you for reading !

(image via @you2onlyme on tiktok)

[hippolotamus]

Hippo my lovely 💕

21 - this is a very long hug now sort of hug

If it sparks joy 💕

It did! Eventually (sheepishly kicks at the dirt) Enjoy, lovely 🦛💞🐥

For the full experience may I recommend

if i’m being honest (it scares me to death) | T | 2926 words

Just got in. See you tomorrow.

Buck pockets his phone and enters the apartment — it’s not home, never really has been — his movements slow and easy, like he’s floating. Buoyed by the sort of love and contentment that can only come from spending an evening at the Diaz house. A few precious hours of dinner, then playing Boggle and Scattergories until Chris begged off to play an online game with his friends. His limbs are loose and humming, like his veins have been injected with liquid starlight. Even the air around him feels syrupy sweet and pleasant. The kind of thick, protective cover that nothing negative could hope to ruin.

He drops his keys in the bowl and immediately walks to the fridge to put away the Tupperware container of leftover mushroom and chickpea meatballs with zoodles for tomorrow’s lunch.

Eddie picked the recipe, saying he wanted to try it. No particular reason, he just did. He’s been doing that more lately, choosing dishes he would make anyway and subbing in vegan ingredients.

Buck took notice immediately and makes sure to show his gratitude in heaping platefuls and commenting on how delicious it all is. He knows from experience that it’s all too easy to end up with dried out, inedible food that shouldn’t be fed to anyone. It’s the least he can do for his best friend making the effort to cook something special just for him. Even if said best friend will never admit that’s why he’s doing it.

At times, if Buck lets himself look too closely, it feels a lot like something else. These acts of service feel a lot like love. And it is. The sort of love two best friends who would do anything for each other have. Buck’s not naïve enough to think that Eddie wouldn’t do the same thing for any of their friends or family. But at the same time it’s also more? Deeper. A sacred bond or formula shared just between them. Like learning Bobby’s chili doesn’t work without the cocoa powder. Someone could try a million different ways and it would never turn out right.

He wants to be brave enough to name this thing they’ve been building since promising to have each other’s backs. This relationship forged in fire, mud, and tsunamis. Built on collapsing foundations, busted down doors, lightning strikes, and ‘Because, Evan’.

If he could be part of Eddie and Christopher’s lives for everything, he would do it in a heartbeat. But that always seems like too much and not enough to ask for. Because Buck is too much and not enough. Acceptable in measured increments for precise amounts of time. For now — probably forever — he tucks that dream away in favor of focusing on what he does have.

With the leftovers safely put away, he grabs a beer, twisting off the cap and listening to it slide across the countertop, finally slowing to a stop next to the utensil caddy. It’s… loud. Too loud for such a small object. Or maybe the apartment is just too… cavernous? Empty?

Buck leans back against the counter, taking a lengthy sip and visually assessing his space. He has things. The right amount of things, even. After all, he’s one single person. How much could he need? He drowns the thought with more beer when his mind tries to remind him of six cheese lasagna and couches and having the answers.

He decides it’s not worth ruining his still relatively excellent mood by worrying over something as trivial as a chunk of metal, and moves out to the patio. It might do him some good.

The atmosphere is filled with the sights and sounds of the city at night. A complex symphony of traffic, music and people wrapped in an LED haze that starts at the street and drifts slowly upward. It’s a familiar melody that, just like the apartment, isn’t home but does its best to provide comfort.

He manages to pick out a few stars peeking through. Not full constellations. Those are impossible, staying hidden like the ancient giants they are. It’s nice to still be able to see the twinkling specks, even if they’re nothing like some places he’s been.

On the ranch in Montana he would lay on the hood of his Jeep and stare for what felt like hours. Feeling small, but also like something was waiting for him. Like he was part of something bigger that he just hadn’t discovered yet. Looking at the sky now doesn’t feel that way. More like being at sea, adrift and searching. Waiting to be found, though he’s not quite sure by who or what.

It reminds him of a documentary he watched once about otters. The mothers fluff up their pup’s fur and leave them to float while they hunt for food. The babies are powerless to do anything except spin in a circle until she returns. Sometimes Buck feels like that. Like somebody has given him enough support to turn in place but not actually go anywhere.

He casts a look at the table and chairs and finds himself thinking of fixing, being at your worst, trying again anyway, and— no. Clearly being outside isn’t helping, so Buck returns indoors, hoping the television will prove to be enough of a distraction.

As he searches for something to watch, it seems reasonable he just needed a better place to focus his attention that isn’t his own inner chatter. He’s already slightly irritated that the vibrant glow from earlier has faded so significantly. Maybe there’s still a chance it can be recovered.

He quickly settles on a cooking program and that gets him smiling again. He doesn’t even particularly care what’s being presented, just that it evokes the same warmth as being welcomed home and brown eyes with flecks of gold. At least until the next episode comes on.

This one features a couple, a husband and wife posed in their studio kitchen. They’re surrounded by pristine white cabinets, gleaming mixing bowls, and perfectly measured ingredients that will make a stunning something-or-other. When it’s complete they’ll pull it from the stainless steel double oven to be served on the prop table that’s been set like a photo shoot for Better Homes & Gardens.

Buck can’t help but notice how they move in harmony, fluidly traversing around each other, like a ballet. Like partners. Maybe it’s all for an audience, but it looks genuine. Not the type of movement that’s choreographed or faked. He stares, scrutinizing every instance of adoring looks and playful gestures until something within him finally cracks.

The hollow ache that usually lives in his chest suddenly feels deeper. Wider. Like it may actually break through and tear him apart, causing him to wonder how such emptiness can feel so massive. As if his ribs are slowly cracking open, snapping one by one, stretching the skin while crushing his lungs and heart. He wants to scream or something. Anything to untangle the mess sitting under his sternum.

Through rapid, gasping breaths Buck tries to refocus, to take himself back. Even just fifteen minutes. Is that so much to ask? Returning to blissfully, ignorantly, mindlessly observing?

Despite what he wants, the screen remains unchanged. Mr and Mrs Fucking Perfect carry on with their routine, blurred and watery in front of him. And Buck – he’s spinning in circles again, too helpless to do anything except wait. Except he doesn’t want to. He’s so tired of drifting and circling and clinging and pausing.

It’s just- when he’s the guy who’s always trying to fix things that are out of his control… what is he supposed to do?

🍠🍠🍠🍠🍠

Eddie puts the last of the dry dishes away in the bottom cabinet, and not a moment too soon. He’s got an early shift in the morning and has to get to bed. He could have left them in the rack for tomorrow, but it gave him extra time to mentally replay the earlier parts of the night. Like watching Buck smile, all pleased and fond, every time Eddie thanked him for a helpful cooking tip. Or watching Chris break out in a full belly laugh at one of Buck’s corny dad jokes.

It really is a form of self-torture sometimes, having Buck over for dinner and homework and board games. Pretending they’re a family and this is a normal everyday thing he gets to have.

He tells himself it’s for Chris, too, but he also knows that’s a blatant lie. If Chris wasn’t a factor Eddie’s pretty sure he’d invent any and all reasons to spend more time with Buck.

Eddie sighs and lays the dish towel over the sink edge. The ridiculous one that says Silence of the Yams over a print of a sliced up root vegetable. It came as part of a set Buck and Chris gave him last Thanksgiving. It’s probably not a coincidence he uses this particular one the most. The shade is a nearly identical match to the burnt orange sweater Eddie always likes on Buck.

There are times it feels like he’s not the only one with all these feelings welling up inside, trying to prevent them from bleeding out through his pores and spilling onto Buck. Like there’s something in the casual touches and glances that pass between them. Something electric and charged that’s more than bros or friends and decidedly not platonic.

One day, maybe, he’ll work up the nerve to tell Buck what’s in his heart. To ask him on a date and hope he’s not fucking up the best relationship that’s ever happened to him and his son. For now he’ll take whatever Buck is willing to give. Even if it only ever comes in the form of shoulder nudges, zoo trips, and Keeping the Peas housewares.

He starts his nightly routine, walking a path through the rooms, turning off lights and making sure doors are locked. When the final throw pillow is returned and the last pile is straightened, he hears the tentative knocking.

The noise immediately puts him on edge, setting off his protective instincts. Nothing good can come from someone being at his house this late. Christopher is in bed and Buck has his own key. Eddie tiptoes across the floor to peer through the peephole, shocked to discover who’s waiting on the other side.

“Buck?” Eddie turns the deadbolt, opening the door wide for his friend.

This isn’t anything like the night he came seeking respite from Maddie’s well-intentioned visitor train. Instead of standing tall, barreling past Eddie, Buck stares straight ahead, unblinking and motionless with slumped shoulders that make him appear small. Eddie can see how his eyes are puffy and red-rimmed. He looks utterly broken.

Before Eddie can say his name again, Buck surges forward over the threshold. He falls into Eddie, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist and burying his face into the crook of his neck.

Eddie pushes the door shut, not bothering to listen if it latched correctly or not. He returns the embrace, one hand on Buck’s back, the other gently petting his hair as Buck’s body shudders against his own.

He gratefully absorbs each whimper and sob. The way thick, searching fingers clutch at his shirt.

“Shhhh, hey. I’ve got you.”

Buck was fine a few hours ago. What the hell could have happened since then?

“I- I’m sorry, Eds.” Buck begins to pull back, rubbing away the wetness on the sleeve of his maroon hoodie. “It’s late. I shouldn’t have- I’m gonna–” He jerks his chin toward the doorway.

“Uh-uh. None of that.” Eddie lightly grips Buck’s elbow, a silent question. Buck hesitates, looking between Eddie and the entryway, before he acquiesces to letting Eddie tug him closer again.

He wants to do any number or ill-advised things like hold Buck’s face between his palms, kiss away every tear, and murmur every wonderful thought he’s ever had about the man in his arms until Buck believes them. For now he settles for cradling and rubbing soothing patterns and silently loving. He’ll stand here all night if that’s what Buck needs. He can do that.

“I don’t know what happened. All I did was turn on Food Network,” Buck warbles. Then he shakes his head against Eddie’s shoulder, exhaling a world weary breath. A puff of air expelled by someone carrying the universe and trying to make it appear no bigger than a classroom globe. Eddie’s, unfortunately, more than a little familiar.

“That’s not true,” Buck confesses.

The silence returns and Eddie waits for Buck to elaborate on what he means. It isn’t long before the explanation comes, so muted that Eddie almost doesn’t catch it.

“I’m tired, Eds. Of pretending to be happy alone and waiting to be chosen. Tired of holding back just so the wrong person likes some version of me that isn’t even authentic. It’s just all so exhausting.”

I’d choose you. Three words Eddie can’t bear to make himself say out loud, because his best friend is hurting and now is most definitely not the time for that kind of confession. So he holds onto them a little longer, ignoring the sting where they settle back into his heart. A burning pain that only becomes more intense when Buck burrows impossibly closer, continuing to cling to Eddie like a lifeline.

Buck speaks again, sounding unfathomably small and heartbroken. “Am I that hard to love?”

“No.” Eddie’s answer is immediate and unwavering. As true as the night he first decided in front of their captain and an exploding ambulance.

Buck responds with a skeptical huff. “You have to say that because you’re my best friend.”

Eddie slides the hand on the back of Buck’s neck forward, grazing over his cheek and under his chin until he can tip his head up. Even in the darkness, Buck’s eyes are exceptionally blue. Endless depths that manage to steal Eddie’s breath and reflect back every future he yearns for.

It’s been ages since Eddie’s given any serious thought to last first kisses or until death do we part, but he would swear under oath that’s what he sees now.

“No,” Eddie reiterates. This should probably be more difficult and be ratcheting up his anxiety. But it doesn’t. Instead he’s wrapped in a distinct calm. An undeniable certainty, because what he’s about to say is true and however Buck reacts won’t change it. “I have to say that because I love you.”

Buck blinks and his mouth falls open in an imperfect o. “Y-you what?” He whispers.

Now that he’s said it once, a second time is that much easier. “I said I love you. And I will always choose you. All of you. Over and over. Every version. If you’ll let me.”

Buck’s eyelashes flutter, fresh tears starting to pool there, and he looks at Eddie with such awe and disbelief, like he can’t accept that someone would genuinely want him. Not that he doesn’t understand the feeling, but it shatters Eddie to think Buck has spent even a second believing he’s unlovable.

“Of course I’ll let you. How is that even a question?” Buck asks, as if they haven’t been dancing around exactly that for years. He stands to his full height, never letting his hands drop, beaming down with the smile Eddie’s claimed as just for him. “But, Eds?”

“Yeah, Buck?”

“This has been a really long hug. Not that I’m complaining. I was just kinda hoping I could kiss you. Finally. I’ve been kinda wanting to for a while.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And who is Eddie to deny him that?

“Please,” he sighs into the diminishing space between them. His tone borders on a plea, but this is Buck. The person who has seen Eddie at his most vulnerable, who sees Eddie more than he’s ever allowed anyone else.

They drift closer until their lips brush, just enough that Eddie gets a taste of Buck’s horchata lip balm. Eddie can’t understand needing more than the 3-pack he can get at the grocery store, but right now he’s not complaining about the sweet, cinnamon flavor.

Eddie deepens the kiss, pausing when he can make himself break away, just enough to murmur ‘I love you’, wanting to make sure Buck knows he’s all in. That this isn’t a fluke or temporary, pitying lapse in judgment.

Because he does, and he is, with every fiber of his being. He loves him, loves him, loves him.

Suddenly Buck pulls back, breathless and wide-eyed, his already plush lips kiss swollen, tempting Eddie to bring them back together. “I just realized I never said I love you, too. Because I do a-and I really need you to know that.”

Eddie hums appreciatively, claiming Buck’s mouth again, unable to stay apart any longer now that he knows what it is to kiss Evan Buckley. He submits to the love and adoration and the way they fit like two puzzle pieces, further solidifying how they’re meant to complete each other. He doesn’t know how he ever thought he knew what love was.

There are infinite meanings for different people. For Eddie, it’s painted in hues of burnt orange and blue. Folded in cheesy puns and always having a fresh container of oat milk in the fridge. Stated in facts about retrofitted ceiling tiles and light fixtures; conveyed in I know you did, what are you afraid of, and I misunderstood the assignment.

It’s following his heart on the winding path that led him to a reality better than any fantasy.

[skzcoffeemachine]

Darling..

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a/n : moonbin (may his soul rest in peace) was actually one of my earliest bias. And this is not me romanticising the whole unfortunate accident. I just wish to be there for Chan, parasocially, delusionally, whatever works.

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“it's believed that the young idol passed out and his phone was on the floor, broken..”

You turned off the YouTube video you clicked on, expecting some truth to come out behind the passing, but ofc it was the internet with speculations abound.

Astro was the first group that got you into kpop, and the demise had affected you but not as much as it had affected your boyfriend.

“hey.. ”

He sounds weak.

“Hey.. ”, you smiled softly but his head was hung too low to notice. You knew what was affecting him. But cannot even start to imagine what must be going through his head. Just the thought makes your eyes well up.

I wish your pain was mine.

You watched as he trudged over to his desk, sitting down, laptop opened, trying to drown himself into his work.

You realise the least you could do was to help him eat. He has not ate properly in days, chugging down energy drinks, something out of character for Chan. But he needed energy to appear reliable in front of his kids. Earlier in the day, you had called Chan's mom to learn her curry recipe. It was ready, on the stove, piping hot.

It has also been days since he smiled in front of you. True, he force smiles when he's out and about. He did not have to pretend , in front of you. And you preferred it that way.

As much as you wanted to go up to him and kiss his worries away, you knew better . Instead, you went straight to the bathroom and started prepping a warm bath.

He recently bought bath bombs to try, but neither of you really knew the best way to enjoy it. So, you earlier asked Hyunjin about it. Time to apply it practically. You added some epsom salts, known to relieve stress. Then, dropped the bath bomb, which started fuzzing up into the colours of the galaxy. Next step was to dim the lights. You smiled to yourself. The mood lighting in the bathroom was a great idea on your part. Now it was the harder part. You silently draw up cue cards in your head to chain the perfect sentences , something that might help him.

“Chan.. ” his eyes looked up to you when you put your hands on his shoulders. “Come”.

He was probably too tired to retaliate or even say no. You gently tugged on his hoodie, signalling him to take it off. He stripped down, quite lazily, his eyes glued on the floor the whole time. You gulped down tears. How can you bear to see someone you love like this?

You guided him to the bathtub. He slid into the water until he was immersed upto his neck. You sat besides the tub, helping him place his head comfortably against the edge.

“baby, can I wash your hair? It will feel good”, you said in a whisper. He hummed in response. You stood up to bring out your shampoo from the cabinet. You remembered how he said your shampoo relaxes him whenever he was feeling less than ideal.

You were not the slightest bit alarmed or shocked by the sound of small sniffles that come from him as you detangle as gently as possible.

You silently and delicately wipe some tears from his eyes. 

“Darling.. ” you whispered, “it was not your fault”.

That was what he needed to hear. Enough for silent sniffles to evolve into hoarse sobs. Enough to finally break you too.

It was not the first time he had cried in front of you. Yet, it had never been like this. As far as you knew this man, you know his soul and how he takes the blame for everything bad that goes in his loved one's life. He had been working on it. It was getting better.

“I ..Should..Have been there”, he cried out in between sobs.

“y/n..what must be his family going through? His members? His sister?” he was shaking so much that you had to get into the water waist deep, with your clothes on, to hug him tight.

As his face buried in your chest, tears staining the sweater darker, he let it all out, everything he had been holding on inside himself. You hugged him tighter as he clung on the fabric in a failed attempt of control.

“Chan.. Chan.. Look at me.. Look..”

You held his reddened face in both hands.

“Breathe.. Baby”

He obeyed, although it was getting progressively difficult for him, from all the tears.

“Chan.. ”, you drew small circles on his cheek with your thumb, “you know..you have always been there, for us, for them, even for people you haven't meet yet. ”

For the first moment in what felt like forever, he held eye contact. His eyes was swollen, more than his morning kind of swollen, more than you have ever seen before.

“But what if one of you was going through the same thing.. And what if I failed to be there.. ” he spoke what was in his mind the whole time, mustering up courage.

To that, you smiled. “Well.. You have given us so much love and hope and strength . You have even saved millions with Channie's room. You just don't know it yet”.

And that was the truth.

His sigh was of relief to you. It hurts. He will hurt. But also it was extremely important for him to realise how loved he was, how he was helping millions out there.

The silence was disrupted by a growl. Your stomach. Perfect timing, dear tummy. He let out a small laugh. That was the sound of angels to you. “Let's have dinner, hmm? ”, you took the chance to ensure he has his proper meal in days. “How can I say no to that cute tummy? ", he quipped, rubbing your belly violently but teasingly,both of your giggles resounding through the bathroom walls.

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A/n : is it peaceful there, moonbin? Rest well. Thank you for everything. 6