#i want to go back to before anyone knew what i looked like and delete my presence completely.
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2timespistol · 1 month ago
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I really cant seem to do anything right.
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whorelaud · 2 months ago
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꒦꒷ 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 hushed fantasies ¡
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pairing brother's best friend¡nicholas chavez x fem¡reader
summary thinking you were messaging your friend, you accidentally sent your brother's best friend a thirsty paragraph about him, with Nicholas opening it before you get a chance to delete it. what you were not expecting was the leading conversation, causing realization to wash over you as he hints your desire is not one-sided after all.
contains suggestive, sexual tension, a bit of dirty talking, a brief kiss, flustered reader, cocky nic, hes also very freaky (uhh???)
a/n this is the silliest thing ive ever written i was giggling the whole time while writing it. likes and reblogs are v much appreciated!!!
word count 1.7k
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You: the amount of self control i have is insane because why do i not have this mans dick in my mouth rn please i need nic so fucking bad its not even funny anymore he is everything i want in life id let him use me any day morning afternoon n night im available ugh i dont even get the ick when its him he was acting like a dad earlier yelling at us to grill the meat right and it was so adorable ill call you daddy u want me to call u sir i dont kink shame im down for whatever king omg stop he got hurt earlier and he GROANED???? i almost fell to my knees YAHOOO he definitely whimpers #needthat 10/10 i just know its thick ooh tip pink shade #d97e77 thats insane till my knees are bruised and my throats scratched my panties fell tears are rolling down my thighs OMG PLS can you feel my pain hes so bodangshis how does my brother look at him and not wanna fuck him id be all over him if that was my friend gahhhd!!! hes actually so sweet he kept speaking to me earlier so i dont feel left out of the conversation and i find that adorable do u think he slaps it before he cums oh my his girlfriends so lucky im ab to put her in a headlock ahaha this is gross no man should have this much of an impact on u unless their dick is big and the sex is absolutely amazing yooo what he probably knows how to please a lady id be hard if i had a dick rn STOPP he has a happy trail im gonna lose it hahah lets find out where it leads i dont wanna think ab that im going crazy literally pulling my hair out that should be u baby GIVE ME A CHANCE?!!!! thinking ab him makes me so nervous this is getting a little too srs ahaha okay im sorry hows life?!? i miss u :(
Sending that message, you were anything but expecting the response you got in return, not from the man himself, that’s for sure.
nic: oh?
nic: i think you got the wrong person
You audibly gasp, realization washing over you as you read over the message. That was, in fact, not for Nicholas, nor was it for anyone but your friend to see.
You panic, putting your phone down to process what happened, needing a moment before responding. Right, you needed to do that.
But why did he see it so fast? He didn't even give you time to comprehend your message, the text switching to read in an instant.
Hell, it was midnight, and it’s been a long, tiring day for the both of you, having been out the whole afternoon, merely to come back to the hotel and spend more time with your other friends.
Everyone decided to end the night off early; early being a bit before midnight, with you heading to your room afterwards. Your brother and his best friend shared the room taking place next to yours, making it easy to reach out to him.
And for that, you were grateful since Nicholas was with him; meaning you got to see more of him throughout this trip.
You’ve had a crush on Nicholas for god knows how long, with it starting the moment your brother befriended him. You’ve technically gone through all the phases he experienced, hell, you saw him more than your own parents.
He was sweet, a little too sweet, perhaps it bothered you. Nicholas was very known among women, he knew how to attract a lady, showering her with praises until he eventually got what he wanted.
That made you extremely jealous, knowing you couldn't have him. He was forbidden, off-limits, someone you could only admire from afar.
And that stupid crush of yours led to this conversation, one you didn't want to discuss.
You: i didnt mean to send that to you
The text switched from delivered to read right away, causing your breath to catch in your throat.
nic: clearly
nic: i dont have a gf btw
Why did he feel the need to clarify that, and why were you relieved over hearing it?
You buried your face in your pillow, feeling heat reduce from your body. You’ve never been this embarrassed before, not around Nicholas. While you were weird sometimes, it was never this bad.
He wasn't supposed to know about this, nor discover it the way he did.
You: cover your eyes pls
You: this wasn't for u
nic: you sure?
nic: are there any other nics in your life?
Your stomach twisted at the message, hand coming up to cover your mouth as an audible gasp escaped your throat. How could he say that?
You felt all sorts of emotions wash over you, unable to process each one of them as you read the message over and over again.
You: what if there is
The question was risky, it could either end with him telling your brother, or him teasing you over it and brushing it off. Either way, you couldn't have him, so why not just fuck it and go with the flow?
nic: then that would be disappointing.
Your breath caught in your throat, vision going blurry as Nicholas’ bubble kept appearing and disappearing.
nic: id really hate that you feel this way about someone else
Oh my god, were you dreaming?
You could not believe your eyes. You turned off your phone, letting the dimness of the room seep through for a moment before you unlocked your device once again, heart skipping a beat when you realized it was real.
Nicholas, your brother’s best friend, might have been flirting with you, but that’s just in your head, right…?
You: ??? wdym
nic: you first
nic: was this about me, doll?
The pet name made you weak to your core, spiraling you over the edge as you put your phone down for a second. You took a deep breath, feeling your face heat up at how suggestive the boy sounded.
He sounded so desperate, you weren't sure if it was the tiredness, or him being genuine. Either way, you’re fucked, because you’re willing to do anything for him, even if it means breaking your heart.
You: what if it was
You: what will you do ab it
You felt nauseous as you waited for a response, groaning when the boy disappeared for a minute. Did you say something wrong? Why did he suddenly leave?
nic: then id risk it all
Speechless. Your mouth hung open, chest filling with lust as a breath heaved out of you.
You: are you saying this because you’re tired
nic: no
nic: god no
There was no ounce of self control in your body left. You almost screamed, overwhelmed by a new sense of emotions.
Is this how it felt? Because fucking hell.
You: it is
nic: it is what?
You: this is so embarrassing
You: why are you making me admit it you know exactly what im talking about
nic: baby
nic: jus tell me
You: no you suck im going to sleep
nic: WAIT no come here youre so cute
You blushed at the message, unable to suppress the smile forming on your lips. God, he’s such an idiot. And you were totally swooned for him.
You: i literally just sent you a message talking ab how much i wanna suck your dick what about that is cute
nic: oh? so you do admit it
You: …
You felt nervous, realizing how serious this has gotten. From a silly message turned into you contemplating whether this was a good idea. The last thing you were anticipating while typing that message was a confrontation, one from Nicholas; at that.
nic: you couldve told me yk
You: do you hear yourself
nic: ? what
You: nic you know this is wrong
You: youre gonna wake up tmr and forget all ab it
nic: you knkw
nic: yoirw so fucjinf hot
You came to a halt, noticing the amount of mistakes the boy was making. Your mind wandered somewhere else, feeling heat crawl past your neck, all the way to your face.
You: what are you saying
nic: fucking hell
nic: take the hint baby
You froze in your spot, tongue coming out to wet your lips, suddenly feeling heat travel to in between your legs. Don’t give in, don't give in, don’t give in.
You: what
nic: you couldve asked me if you were curious
nic: i wouldve happily showed you
That sent you over the edge. Your mind went fuzzy, unable to process the last few texts you received from Nicholas. He was being serious, dead serious, you were sure of that.
The texts you exchanged always revolved around your brother; usually Nicholas asking whether he was home or not. However, this one was different.
He was hinting something, something very risky that you were unable to resist.
You: dont say that
nic: what, you don't believe me?
You: nic
nic: give me five
You stared at the message on the screen, confused on what he meant. Your eyebrows furrowed with puzzlement, awaiting a message, merely to get nothing in return.
As you were about to shut your phone and go to sleep, it pinged, the notification startling you awake. You clicked on it immediately, mind going hazy as you read the message over and over again.
nic: open the door
nic: im outside your room
You didn’t hesitate as you got up, swiftly walking your way to the door. You unlocked it with haste, vision going blurry as you caught sight of Nicholas, who was standing inches away from you now.
He looked just as desperate as you were, maybe even more. And that was it, it was all you needed to pull him by the collar and cease the distance between you two.
The moment his lips collided with yours, you realized that maybe it’s worth ending up with a broken heart, because Nicholas tastes fucking addicting, and you found every way to make good use out of that obsession.
The possession of knowing he’s off limits, yet here he was, eagerly kissing you numb.
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hoshifighting · 2 months ago
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ask translation: today's rant, girls, i can't get it out of my head that jeonghan is totally that "friend" who sends you a message a second after you remove the @ of your last relationship from your bio. "baby, I saw that you deleted his @, did something happen? Is everything okay? you know you can talk about anything with your hannie, right?" "wow, what an jerk, do you want to come over today, princess?" WARNINGS: smut, fingering, doggy-style, friend!jeonghan, recent break-up
PORTUGUESE VERSION
it’s a matter of seconds. you barely take his @ out of your bio, and the “ding” from your phone already notifies you. guess who? that’s right—jeonghan. and you know exactly what he’s going to say before you even open the message. it’s almost automatic; his timing is so damn perfect that you almost think he’s been stalking your profile, waiting for the smallest slip-up, a little sign.
“hey, baby,” he starts, casual as ever, “saw you took his name out of your bio… something happened?” you read it and can practically see his smug little smile while he’s typing, just loving the drama. “tsk, motherfucker,” you mutter to yourself, but you’re laughing. then he follows up: “you know you can tell your hannie anything, right?”
you roll your eyes, but ignoring him? impossible. the next message doesn’t even let you hesitate.
“god, what an idiot. wanna come over tonight, princess? got that wine you love…”
and there he’s got you. he knows it. he knows that the “heart-to-heart” is just a flimsy excuse, you know what he wants, and that “motherfucker” you muttered? already forgotten. the worst part is you don’t even resist. you’re already texting back before you can think twice:
“give me fifteen. actually have the wine, or i’m out,” you shoot back, adding that little side-eye emoji he always teases you for.
not even five seconds later, he replies: “bet.”
at his place, things start slow—he hands you the glass and goes, “spill it all, babe.” you actually try talking about your ex, maybe add some drama for effect… but he cuts you off, saying he doesn’t wanna hear about that “loser,” and before you know it, the conversation’s become something else entirely. he teases you, like always, and it doesn’t take long before that “friendly” vibe slips into something much more serious.
the wine might as well have gone straight between your legs. minutes later, jeonghan’s there, face buried between your thighs, his mouth working over the wet clit while he keeps his eyes locked on yours. he makes it look like an art form, taking his time, slow, drawing you out more and more—and you, impatient as hell, nearly losing it every time he stops just to throw in some little comment. he lifts his head slightly, lips glistening, with that smug glint in his eye.
“how could he lose you, huh?” he’s not actually asking; he just wants to see you needier. you press your thighs against him, trying to make him shut up and eat you out, but he just laughs, naughty.
“god, you’re so impatient, knew you’d be like this…” he knows exactly the effect he has on you.
you let out a frustrated moan, and he laughs again—he’s clearly feeding off this. “relax, princess, not gonna leave you hanging.” he says it, but he doesn’t speed up. you’re practically begging by the time he finally decides to quit playing games.
he fucks you so good that if you’d known it would always be like this with him, the idea of dating anyone but jeonghan would’ve never even crossed your mind.
he’s got you on all fours on his couch, no mercy, thrusting deep with that thick cock, your cries coming out rough and strained, head tilted back as he holds nothing back, fingers gripping your hair just to make you scream his name louder. the angle leaves your gasps sounding suffered, desperate.
jeonghan, obviously, is eating this up. he notices when you’re already dripping all over his couch, and just to make it even worse, he gathers up that little drip and rubs it right on your sensitive clit, making you melt like jelly, your body going limp on his couch until he eases his grip on your hair so he doesn’t hurt you.
he moans shamelessly, the sound probably even louder than yours, and it catches you off guard. he doesn’t hold back, telling you how long he’s wanted this, how many times he’s dreamed about fucking you exactly like this.
“you have no idea how long i’ve wanted this pretty pussy, baby…” he whispers, and you feel that delicious shiver on the back of your neck. “if you hadn’t picked that dumbass… we could’ve been fucking like this ages ago.”
he thrusts deeper, but moving slower, just so you can feel every inch as he murmurs in your ear. his touch is firm, fingers gliding down to squeeze that sensitive spot, giving it a playful pinch just to watch you shiver, rolling your eyes as you gasp out his name.
“this is what you wanted, princess? gonna appear here on my place, begging for my cock again.. and im going to give you what you want... always.”
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backwzzds · 1 year ago
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can we talk about how konig would be someone who’s quiet when he gets jealous…then when y’all get home he js absolutely goes HAMMMM….
the way i got so excited to write this…it’s actually way longer than i intended but idgaf! part 2 soon 😏
NO BC YOU LITERALLY WOULDNT GET HOW HE’D BE SO QUIET LIKE ???
“papa, i don’t understand what i did wrong,” you’d frown at your man with an annoyed whine. könig, who was a whooping 6’10 would only give you a heavy grunt in response. you’d be on the way back to his car from the mall, dozens of your victoria’s secret and H&M bags held in his visibly large hand. the moment könig reached before you (with help of his tree-like long legs anyway), he opened the door for you, the balaclava on his face making his features ten times harder.
no matter how mad the big bear was at you—or more so, what you happened to get yourself involved in—he’d never disrespect you. anything other than sexually, at least. stepping on the custom made step for your smaller figure, you slide into the huge seat of his completely blacked out bmw suv, allowing him to shut the door behind you. you nearly jump at the visible shake of the car beneath your bottom.
you play with your curls as könig carefully sets your bags on the floor behind your seat. because his was set all the way back to accommodate for his long legs, your seat had the better amount of space for your things. when könig finally got back in the car, he immediately started it, causing the monsterous growl of his deleted muffler to come alive.
and he wouldn’t even break a sweat at you !!! you’re over here going over all your actions for the day, step by step, and all könig could think through his mind was what positions he was gonna force you in when you two got back home.
the sound of könig’s car matched the energy that was coursing through his veins. he know you didn’t do anything wrong; not intentionally at least. but the selfish ass part of him wanted nothing more than for your pretty little ass to sit in the passenger’s seat, overthinking on what the fuck you possibly could have done to rile him up this much.
the ride home is everlastingly silent as the small of your voice breaks the thick tension, “baby,” you don’t know how to further articulate your words. “i know you’re mad at me. i wanna fix it, but i can’t it you won’t talk to me. and you’ve been dead ass silent since we been in the mall.”
könig keeps his cool, though. he knew his silence was practically eating at you alive, shaming you with guilt for something you didn’t even intentionally mean to do. but with the way your pretty body sits in the black skims dress you’re in, accompanied by your black and white dunks—his eyes could practically frame your nipples right through the see through fabric, and he was sure that fucking doorman at victoria’s secret could have as well.
you keep talking. “was it the dude at VS? i swear, i made it very known that you were my man and—“ your words are endless blabber to him as the disgusting and pervasive thoughts cloud könig’s mind.
he looks so sexy in his balaclava, protecting his face from the harsh upcoming winter temperatures. he’s sported in an all black outfit, helplessly matching yours. anyone who saw you two together would automatically know that was your man. i mean duh, he walks around with his hand on your ass protectively 99% of the time.
when you get the sense that the brute isn’t listening to a fucking word you’re saying, you let out a frustrated sigh and turn your body away from him. but the sudden placement of a large hand on your knee takes you by surprise as you eye the man who’s ice blue eyes refuse to falter from the darkening road before you.
the moment könig pulls up in the driveway of your shared home, you can’t help but twiddle with the polish on your acrylics. anxiousness is bouncing off you, and könig could tell. you turn your head and open your mouth to speak, only to be cut off for the first time that night.
“go inside.” könig’s voice is very low, but you don’t miss the command in it. there’s no emotion behind the dark eyes of his balaclava. usually you could decipher exactly what and how he was feeling, but in the moment—
“kö—“ your boyfriend’s snow blue eyes harden at your talk back. with softer features, you whisper, “will you be inside?”
“soon. need to make a call first,” you watch him pull out a fresh cigar pack. “be ready for me when i get in.” you open your mouth to talk back again, but wire it shut when könig lovingly grabs your face. leaning in so the pink of his lips ghost over your full brown ones, he whispers, “now, mama. i won’t ask again. can you listen to that one thing for me?”
with a small gulp, you give him pretty doe eyes, feeling between your legs tingle at his masculinity radiating onto you. in the most confident voice you could muster up, you nod your pretty head at him. “yes daddy.”
könig gives you a nod of approval and runs his hand along the curve of your ass. “good girl. go on, liebling.”
you exit the huge car, already getting idea of what was to come when könig came back inside. with a heavy heart, you head upstairs to your room and slowly begin undressing, hoping that the slower you went, the more your punishment would be delayed.
your hopes were proven to be false the minute you were completely naked and turned around to see könig leaning against the threshold of the door, silently watching you.
you jump in fear at the sudden sight in front of you, but feel your heart beat calm down when könig strolled over to you. naturally, your head tilted backward as a way to get a full view of his face. his balaclava remained on, so you knew he was still upset about the events from earlier.
könig takes his large hand and rests it on your cheek, giving it a comforting rub. “you know i love you and respect you more than anything on this earth, right?” the brown of your skin instantly heat up at his words as you slowly nod your head at his sudden expression, unsure of where he was going with his words. könig’s lips can’t help but lightly turn upward into a small smile. you had no idea what was gonna come.
“good. because for today, libeling, i’m gonna fuck you like you mean absolutely nothing to me.”
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prdx-invdr · 10 months ago
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୨୧⸝⸝﹕if you call me a fool, then i’ll be a fool.
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SUMMARY! you’ve been in love with park wonbin since the day the two of you met and never found the courage to tell him. why is it that you find yourself yearning to confess the moment someone else comes into the picture?
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PAIRING! park wonbin x fem!reader
GENRE! college!au, slice of life, fluff, angst (an attempt was made), friends to lovers, IDIOTS to lovers omg WC 8.1k
WARNING! swearing, jealousy, y/n likes wonbin an insane amount girl get up, insecurity, anton instigates like it’s his job and he’s up for a promotion, random female idol is mentioned many times (nothing against her!!), not proofread
NOTE! do u guys know what song the title is from lol.. LOL also i had another wonbin fic i wanted to post and deleted it bc it sucked so actually im posting this one as a coping mechanism
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you don’t realize the way you’re staring at the back of wonbin’s head until a voice snaps you out of your trance. “do you know what you want?” shotaro asks you, waving a hand in front of your face.
currently, the two of you, along with wonbin, seunghan, and anton, are standing in line at a beverage kiosk. the latter, having already received his drink, stands to your right while shotaro stands to your left. seunghan recites his order to the employee while wonbin stands idly behind him.
“don’t even bother asking,” anton chortles, lips still wrapped around his straw. “she’s probably gonna have wonbin order for her, like always.” you lightly slap him in the arm after the words leave his mouth, eyes darting to the aforementioned boy standing merely 2 inches in front of you, hoping he hadn’t heard anton’s teasing.
“i didn’t even say anything wrong! he orders for you all the time!” the boy whines, jokingly rubbing his arm where you had hit him.
shotaro lets out a curt laugh at the interaction, knowing that anton’s words held truth to them, whether you liked to admit it or not. “it’s because she’s shy. right, y/n?” he turns to you, attempting to diffuse your embarrassment. one look at the smile on his face and anyone would be able to tell that his words were complete bullshit. the two of you knew that the real reason you liked having wonbin order for you was because you liked him.
however, for your own sake, you sigh and choose to agree with shotaro’s statement, only offering a small nod. “whatever,” anton mutters under his breath, walking over to seunghan who has his own beverage in hand.
now that you, shotaro and wonbin were the only people in line, shotaro grabs your sleeve and gently pulls you backwards, putting more distance between the two of you and the boy who was now placing his order. before shotaro says anything, you know what the topic of conversation is going to be.
“do you ever plan on telling him?” is all he inquires, his voice lowering to a whisper. you avoid his piercing gaze, instead turning to look at anton and seunghan, laughing in between sips of their respective drinks. anton is already nearly finished with his, you note.
when you’re done observing them, you shift your attention to wonbin, who has his arms crossed as he points at one of the cup sizes the kiosk has on display, indicating that it’s the one he wants.
you’re unable to see his face but you’re able to picture it better than anything. the way his lip quirks upwards in an attempt to be polite to the employee. the furrow of his brow as he asks a question.
shotaro sighs at your silence and finds it astonishing how you’re able to ogle wonbin without even looking at his face. that very sigh brings you back into reality, finally meeting the gaze of the boy currently interrogating you.
“he… doesn’t think of me that way,” you slowly tell him, as if the words would physically pain you if you uttered them too quickly. shotaro lets out a noise you can only assume was meant to be a scoff, but being passive aggressive simply doesn’t run in his blood.
“are you kiddi-“ shotaro is interrupted by wonbin holding a drink in front of your face, thus putting a barrier between the two of you. “here, y/n,” the long haired boy hums, not moving from his spot until you take the beverage filled plastic cup. if you didn’t have park wonbin tunnel vision, as shotaro likes to call it, you’d see the way anton is shaking his head and letting out a short laugh in disbelief upon witnessing the interaction. “called it,” he tells seunghan, who only blinks in confusion.
“i wasn’t sure which one you wanted, but i remembered that time we went to that other drink place and you said you really liked the strawberry one, so i got you that,” wonbin explains, holding his own straw up to his mouth. he says it nonchalantly, as if you could either finish the drink in about 5 seconds before proclaiming how much you enjoyed it, or you could throw it to the ground and curse at him for assuming the flavor you wanted, and he wouldn’t flinch either way.
“um— yes— yeah, i..” you stutter, and shotaro swears it takes everything in him not to slap his own forehead at your sudden jumpiness. “i like it, thank you. you didn’t have to, wonbin,” you exhale, holding your drink with both hands.
“yeah, well, force of habit, you know?” the boy laughs. “since i’m always ordering for you anyway.” his words cause you to tense and you can just picture anton’s shit-eating grin after he heard what wonbin said. “right, yeah,” you nod, wanting the conversation to be over with. the 5 of you continue walking throughout the mall, seunghan complaining about what a ridiculous amount of time you had all just spent at that beverage kiosk.
“force of habit is crazy,” anton decides to tease you again, earning another slap on the arm. “stop hitting me!”
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besides ordering drinks for you when you hadn’t requested for him to do so, anton has noticed that wonbin also tends to subconsciously let you get away with… a lot.
he doesn’t even attempt to hide the way he rolls his eyes when he walks into the living room and sees none other than you and wonbin, the latter seated on the carpeted floor while you’re situated on the couch behind him, playing with his hair.
“i shouldn’t have come in here,” he mutters, barely audible. he’s unsure if he wanted you and wonbin to hear him, but your head snaps in his direction nonetheless. “hey, anton,” you greet him despite knowing that he’d have a lot to say about your current position. he nods his head in acknowledgement before pursing his lips. you brace yourself for whatever comment he’ll inevitably make next, morphing your lips into a straight line.
“you know,” anton starts, and you’re already holding back the urge to groan. “wonbin never lets any of us touch his hair like that.”
“right, because you guys are always so eager to play with my hair, huh?” wonbin quips sarcastically. anton shrugs, although wonbin isn’t looking at him. “so you’re saying if we wanted to, we could?” anton questions, moving across the living room to grab his phone charger, finally remembering why he had walked into the room in the first place.
“nah,” wonbin replies, “not sure why you’d want to, anyway.”
“i don’t see you questioning why y/n wants to do it,” anton insists, already making his way out of the room, pausing momentarily to hear wonbin’s response.
“she doesn’t need a reason,” his older friend says, “she’s y/n.” anton shakes his head and continues on his way. you resume treading your hand through wonbin’s hair as if nothing had happened, but unbeknownst to the boy sitting in front of you, your heart rate had increased at his words.
“he’s just jealous,” wonbin jokes. you only let out a short laugh in response. you wonder how he would react if you informed him that anton had actually sprung up that conversation because he knows about your tremendous crush on the raven haired boy.
“do you think you’d ever go blonde?” you inquire, changing the subject. he lets out a snort and tilts his head to look back at you. you’re grinning, trying to ignore the way your heart does somersaults in your chest.
“i don’t think the world is ready for that,” he laughs.
“what are we laughing about in here?” a voice sings from the door way, ripping your attention away from wonbin. you turn to the perpetrator and lock eyes with sungchan, who sends you a smile. you wave at him and he takes it as an invitation to sit himself down on the couch beside you.
“nothing much,” wonbin answers. your hands finally retreat from his hair and you miss the way his shoulders slump in response.
“right,” sungchan nods, turning his attention to whatever you and wonbin are watching on tv. in actuality, neither you nor him have been paying the television any mind for at least an hour, and only now do you realize that some sort of ocean documentary has been playing this whole time.
a few minutes of silence proceed before sungchan clasps his hands together and stands up from the couch abruptly, startling you.
“man, this has been boring,” he announces, eyes darting between the two of you, seated in the same positions as when he first entered the room. “do you guys even talk?”
“we were, actually, before you walked in,” wonbin mutters, not meaning for his words to come out as sourly as they do. sungchan raises his hands in the air in defense. “hey, my bad. i didn’t realize the two of you were having an ocean documentary date,” he retorts.
“we’re not having-“ you’re about to correct him, only for him to cut you off.
“but, you know, bin,” he says, “i’m not sure how sangah would feel about you having a movie date with another girl.”
you feel like your entire world freezes over the moment you hear those words leave sungchan’s mouth. you quickly rid your face of your crestfallen expression, not wanting to give yourself away.
“who?” you can’t stop yourself from asking, and sungchan just stares at you. wonbin waves his hand dismissively, shaking his head in annoyance. “shut up, dude.”
“wait, y/n doesn’t know about sangah?” sungchan asks, a genuinely confused look crossing over his features. “i thought you guys told each other everything.”
wonbin groans in irritation. “i haven’t told anyone, actually, because it doesn’t matter. you only know because you’re nosy as fuck.”
sungchan chuckles, and you would attempt to let out a halfhearted laugh if you didn’t feel like your chest was aching. you lick your lips and stare questioningly at the side of wonbin’s head.
“look, bro,” sungchan gestures towards you, causing wonbin to turn around and meet your disheartened eyes. his face drops slightly, and you’re not in the correct headspace to try and pinpoint why. “she’s upset because you didn’t tell her!” his friend chimes.
wonbin shakes his head, still looking at you. “she’s just some girl,” he huffs. “i don’t even know her that well.”
you scoff before plastering a wobbly smile onto your face. “i’m not upset,” your voice quivers and you hope that wonbin doesn’t notice it. you’re not sure why he decides to reassure you about sangah— whoever that is— but you pray that it’s not because he’s known about your pathetic crush on him all this time and is now feeling bad for you because he’s currently seeing someone.
of course, only your cruel mind could formulate such a sickening thought.
“i’m just.. surprised,” you conclude with an unconvincing nod. wonbin closes his eyes in annoyance, and you know it’s because of his intrusive friend standing in the doorway. “sungchan, just stop spreading shit around, alright?” he gives him a tired look, finally getting up from the floor. as wonbin makes his way past sungchan in the doorway, the taller boy gives him a playful slap on the shoulder. with wonbin having left the room, you find yourself looking to sungchan with urgency.
“who is sangah?” you plead, trying to keep your emotions at bay. the boy furrows his eyebrows, confusion settling into his features once more. “why do you care, y/n?” he asks. you know that his question doesn’t come from a place of mockery, but rather genuine interest. it hits you in that moment that sungchan, as smart as he is, happens to be absolutely terrible at taking a hint.
somehow, when it came to the long lasting feelings you harbored for one of his closest friends, sungchan was none the wiser. you surmise that he wouldn’t have teased wonbin so openly about another girl had he known about your feelings for the long haired boy.
that, you suppose, you can’t really blame him for.
“um,” you start, “he’s one of my closest friends.” your words are spoken through gritted teeth and clenched fists. “i’m just curious, you know?” the lie comes out easier than you think it should’ve.
sungchan hums, crossing his arms and giving you a curt nod. “just some girl,” sungchan tells you, repeating wonbin’s words from a few minutes ago. “yoon sangah. she’s in our music fundamentals class. like, 2 days ago, i think, she wrote her instagram handle on a slip of paper and gave it to wonbin right in front of me.” your face falls for what seems like the millionth time in the past 10 minutes. you can only offer the tall boy a nearly inaudible hum in response.
“do you think it’ll lead to anything? you know, between her and wonbin?” again, you can’t stop yourself from asking. you feel sick at the thought of playing into the role of ‘jealous, overthinking girlfriend’, and even sicker at the fact that you and wonbin aren’t even dating. what right do you have to be inquisitive about his love life?
still, you can’t help it. when sungchan takes a bit longer to respond to your question you fear you’re treading on dangerous territory, afraid that even the dense boy you’re conversing with may have cracked the code. the grin that he aims at you a few seconds later serves as reassurance that, no, he still doesn’t know anything.
“that’s a good question, y/n dearest,” he pats your shoulder lightly. “i guess only time will tell.”
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you hate yourself for what you’re doing right now.
looking back on the conversation you had with sungchan hours prior to this moment, you recalled him mentioning that sangah had given wonbin her instagram. thus, like any normal person would do in your situation, you took it upon yourself to go through wonbin’s following list in an attempt to find her.
you scroll past your own account, past the accounts of your mutual friends, and a few people who you presume are some of wonbin’s classmates.
when you finally stumble across sangah’s account, your body fills with dread before you even see a proper photo of her.
judging by her profile picture alone, you can tell that she’s pretty. you’re fully looking at her profile now, and your frown only deepens. she’s beautiful.
you shake your head as if it would help ease your racing mind. she’s beautiful, yes, you think, but looks aren’t everything. you find yourself childishly crossing your fingers that sangah had the personality of an evil witch, so that even if wonbin fell victim to her physical charm, he’d be pushed away by her true nature.
you let out a quiet scoff. you can’t believe you’re sitting here thinking badly about another girl just because she might have a crush on the same man you’ve been in love with since the day you met him. in the same sense, you can’t believe that when you say that sentence out loud, it actually sounds a bit reasonable. you blame sungchan, for a moment, drawing the inference that you wouldn’t feel so insecure right now if it hadn’t been for his previous teasing.
you can’t stop yourself when you click on one of sangah’s posts. she doesn’t have many, but the few that she has have seemed to gather thousands of likes. despite this, you take note of the fact that wonbin doesn’t have any of them liked— thank god, you think to yourself. you start to analyze her photos, the faces she makes at the camera, the outfits she wears, the way her hair is styled. when studying her facial expressions, you wonder if she’s made those same faces while looking at wonbin. when taking her outfits into consideration, you wonder if wonbin has seen her wearing any of them and thought she looked particularly nice. whilst examining her hair, you resist the urge to rip out your own. it’s perfect. she’s perfect.
she’s perfect, and from what you can tell, you aren’t anything like her. so what does that make you?
you move to close the app, feeling filled to the brim with self doubt when you suddenly freeze as your phone vibrates. you hesitantly open your dms and your eyes widen as they fall upon the newest message.
[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: why are u awake
your heart races and you momentarily contemplate if wonbin had somehow set up a security camera in your bedroom without your knowledge because how on earth did he know?
you don’t ponder on the matter for long, the aforementioned boy sending another message merely a few seconds later.
[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: u have ur activity status turned on btw
exhaling a breath of relief, you type a response to him.
[3:03 AM] you: why are U awake park wonbin
[3:03 AM] 1bin_02: i just woke up like 5 minutes ago. my y/n senses were tingling and my unconscious body felt a disturbance
[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: kiddinggg
[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: but fr why are u awake
you hold your breath as you type out your next response, choosing to be daring. you decide that, even if it’s only for a few seconds, you’re no longer going to be a coward.
[3:06 AM] you: i was thinking about u
[3:06 AM] 1bin_02: ditto
[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: i know im amazing and everything but don’t let me stop u from getting ur beauty rest 🙄 jk
[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: gn dummy
you decide against saying anything else, shutting off your phone with a sigh. you are a dummy, you think, and the boy who had just given you that title has no idea that it’s all because of him.
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you’re exhausted the next day, concluding that being awake at 3 in the morning despite knowing that you had a class at 8AM was not the best idea.
wonbin is quick to take note of this, poking you on your side as the two of you follow your usual route to your next lecture of the day. “i bet someone regrets staying up until 3AM, hm?” he doesn’t bother to hide his smirk as you swat his hand away. “like you weren’t up at 3AM, too,” you mutter. he clicks his tongue in response. “that was only for a few minutes,” he says, “who knows how long you were awake for, though.”
before you’re forced to dignify wonbin with a response, anton and seunghan walk up to the two of you, the latter offering a wave while the former only smiles.
“where are we headed, guys?” seunghan asks, throwing an arm around wonbin. the boy attempts to shrug him off to no avail. “anton and i wanted to go get drinks and we were wondering if you guys wanted to come with,” he grins before quietly adding, “and maybe also pay for them.”
you laugh and wonbin turns to you upon hearing it, letting out a playful scoff of his own. “can’t, y/n has class in 10 minutes or so,” he turns to the two boys who now have their eyebrows raised in apprehension. “that’s where we were headed,” he finishes.
“and you’re walking her there,” anton nods, his words posing as more of a statement than a question. you can only dramatically roll your eyes. wonbin doesn’t seem to pick up any undertones, only nodding in response. “i might be able to tag along afterwards, though. no promises.”
“well, anton,” seunghan sighs, turning to his friend, “we’ll just have to take shotaro inste-“
the boy is cut off by the sound of a girlish voice calling out wonbin’s name. all 4 of you turn around in unison, and you feel like your heart has physically sunken into the floor. sangah.
wonbin’s at a loss for words for a moment and you want to run away more than anything. you’re not prepared to see the two of them interact, especially after looking at her instagram page last night. “hey, sangah,” is all he says, a smile plastered on his face that pains you to look at.
the girl is practically beaming. “what are you up to?” she grins, her eyes not daring to look anywhere but him. his eyes flicker to you momentarily, who is struggling to breathe.
“i’m walking her—” he gestures to you and sangah finally looks away from him, eyes now trained on yours, “to class. well, i was, before these two showed up.” wonbin waves a hand in anton and seunghan’s direction, the two boys adorning matching confused expressions on their faces. nobody moves a muscle for a few seconds and you’re afraid that your rapid heartbeat can be heard atop of the pin-drop silence.
“oh! my bad,” wonbin clears his throat, “guys, this is sangah,” he gestures towards the girl, “sangah, this is… guys.” he gestures towards his friends. “and y/n,” he gestures towards you for the second time, giving you a tap on the shoulder for good measure. sangah’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and she reaches out to shake your hand. you’re positive that if it weren’t for the freezing hallways of your university, your hands would be sweating, so you silently thank whoever’s in charge of the ac for seemingly always having it cranked up to the max. you and the girl shake hands, her smile noticably brighter than yours.
“nice to meet you, y/n,” she says. “you, too,” is all you’re able to respond with, smile tight.
“nice to meet you guys, too,” she waves at anton and seunghan with both hands and they wave back, offering their own respective greetings in return. awkward.
you cough, attempting to break the silence. “this has been fun,” you press your lips together for a second, “but i’ve gotta get to class. hope you guys have fun at that drink place later, or whatever,” you trail off, the last part of your sentence aimed towards anton and seunghan. “and it was nice meeting you, again,” you add, making eye contact with sangah. she smiles. you don’t say anything to wonbin as you attempt to squeeze past him, but he grabs your arm. “i’m walking with you, remember?” he says. you resist the urge to look at sangah or anyone else in your vicinity for that matter, surprised at his words. this random girl who’s obviously into him is standing only a few inches away and wonbin still insists on walking you to class.
“it’s okay,” you shake your head, unsure. wonbin can tell that you’re beginning to feel upset and he desperately wishes that sangah and even seunghan and anton were anywhere but here. “y/n-“ he starts, you cut him off. “it’s fine, wonbin,” you reaffirm. it isn’t, though.
you begin to walk in the direction of your class and release a breath that you hadn’t known you were holding. deep down, you wanted wonbin to disregard your words and resume walking with you, leaving sangah and his friends standing in the hallway. but wonbin was too polite for that, and you couldn’t even turn around to see if he had continued to engage in conversation with the 3 of them because you felt tears forming in your eyes. stupid, stupid, stupid, you think to yourself.
unbeknownst to you, sangah was able to sense the tension in the atmosphere before anyone had even said anything to her. she kisses her teeth, scratching the side of her head. “i should probably go, too,” she tells wonbin. the boy can tell that she would’ve liked to talk more, but he wasn’t looking to become friends or even acquaintances with her. doing that would only give her the wrong idea, and he didn’t want to have any bad blood with someone he’d be forced to see nearly everyday in class. the boy nods in understanding, giving her a wave. “nice.. talking to you,” he bids her farewell, unsure of what to say, because whatever had just transpired definitely did not qualify as a conversation. the girl waves back with an unwavering smile, walking in the opposite direction you had gone.
“oh, man,” seunghan lets out a laugh he had been holding in, “that was the worst. please don’t ever put me through anything like that again.” anton silently agrees, cringing.
“is it just me,” wonbin starts, ignoring his friend’s remark, “or did y/n seem kind of upset before she left?”
anton stretches his arms slightly, eyes looking anywhere but at his dark haired friend. “wonder why that might be,” he muses under his breath, but wonbin catches it. “what do you mean?” he pushes, looking his younger friend in the eye. anton puts his hands in the air in mock surrender.
“anton, what the hell do you mean?” wonbin asks again, voice tinged with annoyance. anton shakes his head, “figure it out.”
seunghan watches his friends go back and forth, a bit confused himself. much like sungchan, he seems to be completely oblivious when it comes to the way you feel about wonbin.
you’re currently sitting in class wondering why you even bothered to show up.
you knew before you even sat down that you wouldn’t be able to process a single word of the lecture, your mind thinking over your first official encounter with sangah.
ever since last night, you’ve started to dread moments like these— none of your friends being around to distract you, leaving you alone with your own miserable thoughts. it feels as though each minuscule moment of silence is filled with your insecurities being pushed to the forefront of your mind.
what did they talk about after you had left? did seunghan and anton decide to leave shortly after, leaving wonbin and sangah alone? did they grow closer in the small amount of time they were left together? even worse, what if the amount of time they spent together wasn’t small at all? oh god, what if they’re still together right now?
had anton, seunghan or, worst of all, wonbin decided to invite sangah to their aforementioned drink hangout? your mind drifts to the image of wonbin ordering a drink for sangah, the same way he always does for you, and you feel like bursting into tears similarly to the way you had almost done so on your way to class.
and sangah— god, you wanted to hate her so bad. your prayers that she had the personality of a wicked witch were thrown out the window the second she opened her mouth. she was so nice to you. the guy that she likes had openly expressed that he wanted to walk you to class and she still smiled at you. she’s got the most perfect appearance and most perfect attitude and you feel like you can’t compete with any of it.
you check your phone for the first time in approximately 30 minutes, eager for a distraction. you’re dismayed to see only 3 notifications, one from the boy who seems the root of every current problem in your life, and two from sungchan.
[10:04 AM] bin 🫶: everything ok??
[10:16 AM] sungchani: hey
[10:16 AM] sungchani: we’re all gonna hang out on friday night (as decided by me just now) and u will be coming! (also decided by me just now)
you open your phone, typing a quick response to wonbin about how everything is fine (lie) and sending another short message in hopes of steering the conversation in a different direction. you open the two messages from sungchan, shaking your head as if he’d be able to sense your attitude through the screen.
[10:48 AM] you: who’s “we” exactly…. and what will “we” be doing
[10:50 AM] sungchani: don’t act dumb girl… me, you, taro, seunghan, anton and wonbin obviously. was gonna see if eunseok and sohee could make it but i doubt eunseok would wanna and i think sohee’s doing some group assignment lolol
[10:51 AM] sungchani: as for your other question i was thinking about going to the movies yay or nay? (say yay)
[10:51 AM] you: pass
[10:52 AM] sungchani: perfect see u there!
you don’t bother responding to sungchan’s final message, knowing that no amount of opposition from you would deter him. he’d probably drag you all the way to the theater himself if he had to. but you really don’t want to go, feeling drained from the thoughts that have been plaguing your mind ever since sungchan mentioned sangah for the first time. you’d much rather spent your friday night in bed, trying to give your brain a much needed break. maybe if you really felt like torturing yourself, you’d pull up sangah’s instagram once more.
when class ends, you’re shocked to find anton waiting for you outside of the lecture hall. he’s holding a plastic cup filled with chai tea, leaning against the wall leisurely as he sips through an orange straw. he doesn’t look in your direction, which confuses you, because you’re undoubtedly the reason he’s currently standing outside of your classroom.
“lee anto-“ the boy in question cuts you off by lifting his index finger in front of your face, still not looking at you. you scoff in irritation, not wanting to deal with his antics in your current state.
“you’re coming on friday, yes?” he questions, his voice slightly above a whisper. “not if i don’t have to,” you say, your voice at a normal volume. anton, finally looking you in the eyes, presses his index finger to his lips as if to indicate that you need to be quieter. “you do have to,” he nods.
you pinch the bridge of your nose. “why the hell are you whispering?” you scowl, and he keeps his index finger on his lips. you groan before reluctantly lowering your voice to match his, despite the fact that you still don’t know why he wants you to do so. “what’s going on?” you inquire.
“you have to come on friday,” he repeats quietly, “and you’re gonna tell dark star that you’re in love with him.”
you blink. “who?” anton leans his head back in annoyance before mouthing, “PARK WONBIN.” you recoil for a myriad of reasons. “first of all, i’m not coming on friday,” your voice slightly increases in volume, “and even if i was, i most definitely would not use it as an opportunity to confess to wonbin. and why in the world did you just call him that?” you finish, exasperated.
anton only sips his drink, his aura calm and collected. “you’re going,” he answers pointedly, “because if you don’t, dark star is gonna find out either way.”
your eyes widen and you feel like all of the air has left your lungs. “what do you mean by that? you wouldn’t actually-“
“i would, though. if telling dark star about your crush on him would get you to stop pining after him like a fool, why wouldn’t i? and, in addition,” anton fully turns to you, his voice raising to a light mumble, “i saw the way you reacted when sarah started talking to him earlier.”
“it’s sangah,” you deadpan. anton waves his hand dismissively. “not the point. with the way you acted earlier, you would’ve thought they were getting married right in the middle of that hallway,” he sounds concerned as he speaks the words, not looking anywhere but at you.
“i’m not saying that wonbin— dark star, i mean, has a thing for sandra right now. frankly, i don’t think he cares about her at all,” anton continues, “but if you’re that worried about some random girl taking him away from you when they’ve known each other for like, a week, i think that’s a sign that it might be a good idea to tell him how you’re feeling.”
you look down, letting his words settle into your mind. “i’ll come on friday,” you nod, and the boy in front of you smiles at your words, “but i have to give the whole confessing to wonbin thing a bit more thought. i mean, it’s kind of sudden.” anton’s advice actually made sense, you think, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to tell the boy you’ve been harboring feelings for all this time that you’re in love with him on a random friday night.
“sudden?” anton asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. “i think it’s long overdue. fire tornado hector thinks so, too,” he tells you.
you turn to him, dumbfounded. “where the hell are you getting these names from?!”
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friday night comes in the blink of an eye and you’re standing in the lobby of the theater with shotaro, anton, seunghan, and sungchan. wonbin is nowhere to be seen.
“i told him 7PM sharp,” sungchan murmurs impatiently, checking his watch. shotaro turns to anton, jokingly hitting the younger boy on the arm with a laugh. “imagine he just decided to stay home,” he chuckles, “i bet y/n would be relieved.”
“why would she be relieved?” seunghan intrudes curiously. anton shrugs. “i told her she had to confess to wonbin tonight,” he says casually, as if he hadn’t just revealed your not-so-secret secret to an unsuspecting seunghan. the older boy’s eyebrows raise at anton’s words, his lips parting.
“you like wonbin?” he questions you eagerly. “dude, i can’t believe you didn’t know by now,” anton answers in your place as you press your lips together. “and we won’t be using the name wonbin when he arrives. he’s dark star. the codename helps when you’re trying to be discreet,” he finishes.
“yeah, because you know all about being discreet, right?” you reply, voice laced with sarcasm. anton knows that you’re referring to the way he had exposed your feelings for wonbin merely 30 seconds ago, avoiding your gaze as he whistles idly.
“sorry i’m late, guys,” the man of the hour exhales as he walks up to the 5 of you. sungchan studies wonbin, unimpressed. the latter can sense his older friend’s agitation, clicking his tongue. “you’ll forgive me once you find out why i’m late,” he assures, “look who i brought with me.”
you can’t prevent the way your heartbeat escalates, both at the mere presence of wonbin and the words that have just left his mouth. you’re unsure if you even want to find out who he’s brought with him, fearing the worst.
“sohee! eunseok!” you hear sungchan exclaim, excitedly making his way over to the two figures that have just entered the theater. he wraps his lengthy arms around both of them simultaneously.
“guess our invitations got lost in the mail, huh?” eunseok muses, returning his friend’s embrace. the three of them return to where you and the others are standing and sungchan scratches the back of his neck. “my bad, man,” he utters bashfully, “the movie we’re watching is pretty lame. didn’t think you’d be into it.”
“still, it’s an excuse to see you guys,” eunseok shrugs, turning to greet everyone else. sohee does the same, wrapping his arms around you before anyone else.
“y/n! it’s been forever,” he grins, you return it. “it’s been… 2 weeks,” you tell him, hugging him back nonetheless. “i still missed you, though,” you hum. “stop hogging him, y/n!” seunghan teases, “we haven’t seen him in weeks either!”
the two of you release each other, and when you turn, wonbin is at your side. he taps your arm. “why don’t you greet me like that?” he feigns jealousy, pursing his lips. you smile at him, hoping to mask your nervousness, “i see you everyday.”
he rolls his eyes. “that doesn’t mean you can’t miss me.”
“i always do,” you say absentmindedly. by the time your words register, wonbin is already grinning. “ditto,” he mutters, his words meant for only you to hear.
he turns away before you can comment, and eunseok takes his place beside you. he wraps an arm around your shoulders, greeting you. you think nothing of his actions before he leans down, angling his head so that it’s directly next to your ear. “i heard about healing michael’s plan,” he whispers, “the one about getting you to confess to dark star.”
“please don’t start this,” you plead, “i cannot deal with these nicknames right now. and how do you know about that?”
“um,” he starts, moving his head away from yours, “obviously healing michael filled me in on everything. just because we don’t physically see each other everyday doesn’t mean we don’t have a group chat.” he moves back to the previous topic, “he threatened to tell dark star about how you’re madly in love with him, right? he’s bluffing,” eunseok explains, “if you confess to dark star tonight, it should be because you really love him. not because anton frightened you into doing it.”
you nod at eunseok’s words, unsure. “and,” he continues, “it shouldn’t be about some other girl that might like him, either.” he takes note of the way your eyes widen a fraction. “yeah, anton told me about that, too,” he nods as you make a mental reminder to yell at anton later for airing out your business.
“what i’m saying, y/n, is make sure that you’re telling him how you feel, not for anyone else, but for you. well, and for him. and for you and him, together,” eunseok concludes, “don’t let healing michael or sandy get in the way of it.”
“it’s sangah,” you sigh, in awe of the fact that you’ve had to correct both him and anton. sungchan appears to have heard your final words, perking up at the mention of wonbin’s classmate.
“sangah? we’re talking about sangah?” he blurts out, turning to wonbin with a smile. “bro, we totally should’ve invited her,” he jokes, slapping his friend on the arm, “seeing her and wonbin interact in the theater would’ve been hilarious.” everyone grows tense at sungchan’s teasing— he was somehow still the only one unaware of your feelings for wonbin.
wonbin only shakes his head in response, his first instinct being to look over at you. you’re wearing that same disheartened look on your face as the first time you found out about sangah, and he can hardly breathe. his eyes narrow at the sight of eunseok’s arm still hanging off your shoulders.
“sungchan, when does the movie start? we’ve been standing here for a while,” shotaro states, attempting to alleviate the situation. “oh, we still have about,” sungchan checks the time on his watch, “ten minutes before the trailers even start playing,” he responds.
shotaro ushers the group over to the concession counter, quickly making some excuse about everyone needing to choose their snacks for the movie. “amateurs,” sungchan mutters, “who doesn’t bring their own snacks to the movies?”
wonbin finds his place beside you again, briefly studying your features. he notices the way you stand stiffly in your spot and the slight wrinkle between your brows. “hey,” he tries to get your attention. your eyes soften as they meet his that are flooded with worry. “i’m sorry,” he frowns, “about what happened back there. i don’t know why he keeps mentioning her.”
you’re puzzled and, yet again, asking yourself if he’s apologizing because he knows that you have feelings for him or if it’s because he still thinks you’re upset that he didn’t tell you about sangah sooner.
you prayed that he wasn’t apologizing due to the former, but why would he even need to apologize if it was the latter? if nothing was going on between wonbin and sangah, he had no reason to tell you about her. you press your lips into a tight line. maybe that was it— something was going on between them. that’s why he’s saying sorry to you right now, because he regrets not telling you before when you’re supposed to be one of his closest friends.
and that’s all you’ll ever be to him, because you were too much of a coward to confess to him when you had the chance. you think about how disappointed your friends are going to be once you break the news to them that you wouldn’t be confessing to wonbin tonight, or ever.
“don’t apologize, wonbin,” you quietly tell him, and he wonders why it seems as though you’re about to cry. he shakes his head, getting the sense that you misunderstood his words. he looks back at your mutual friend group, seeing that they’re all preoccupied. wonbin seizes the opportunity, grabbing your hand and taking you to a secluded area of the theater.
“please don’t tell me not to apologize,” he breathes, “because i have so much to apologize to you for.”
you’re confused and concerned, your lips parting slightly. you don’t have the chance to savor the feeling of wonbin’s hand still holding yours because you’re mentally preparing yourself for whatever words he’s about to say. this is it, you tell yourself. you stare at the ground, anticipating the feeling of disappointment and rejection.
“i like you so much.”
you stop breathing as the words leave wonbin’s mouth. you’re terrified to look up, unsure if you’d even heard him correctly. he responds to your unvoiced worries by repeating the statement.
“i like you so much, and i’m sorry for holding it in this long,” he says breathlessly, “i’m sorry for letting sungchan talk about sangah all the time, because i didn’t want you to think that i could ever like anyone else.”
he continues despite your silence. “and i’m sorry for telling you all of this in a movie theater, of all places. i’ve been psyching myself up for weeks, but i couldn’t stand the thought of you not knowing any longer. i’m tired of misunderstandings.”
he finally takes a deep breath, and you look up at him for the first time. “are you serious?” is all you’re able to say. you want to be 100% sure that your mind isn’t being as cruel as it normally is when it comes to park wonbin.
he nods, appearing to be just as nervous as you are, and you think that’s good enough of an indicator that he’s not joking.
“you fool,” you breath out in utter disbelief, not knowing if your words are directed at wonbin or yourself. the boy looks troubled for a moment before he hears a noise similar to a sob leave your mouth.
you hide your face with your hands. “i was supposed to be the one to confess to you.”
it’s wonbin’s turn to be silent now, listening to you rant. “it was this whole thing— healing michael, dark star.. eunseok knew about it, and shotaro..” you trail off. your words don’t even make sense to yourself, and you doubt they make any sense to the boy in front of you. “my god, wonbin— i’ve liked you since the day i met you!” you cry, hands still obstructing your vision.
wonbin hesitantly takes it upon himself to grab your wrists, removing your hands from your face. “do you mean that?” he asks, trying to meet your gaze.
you don’t look him in the eye as you continue rambling. “i was so scared,” you tell him, “sungchan mentioned her out of nowhere that day and i was so scared. i thought she was your secret girlfriend, or something.” you feel stupid for telling him all of this, finally admitting to your jealousy.
“when i saw her for the first time, i thought it was over,” you shake your head, “someone so pretty having a crush on you? i felt like nothing next to her. sungchan even told me that she wrote down her instagram and casually handed it to you— i’d kill to be that confident in myself,” you’re not even paying attention to the words leaving your mouth anymore, wanting to get everything you’ve been holding in out of your system.
when you finally look at wonbin’s face, he looks sad, which startles you. you’re afraid that you’ve just killed his mood with your venting. “i’m sorry— i didn’t me-“ you’re interrupted by wonbin pulling you to his chest, shaking his head at your words. “you fool,” he repeats your words from minutes ago. “i can’t believe you’ve been feeling that way about yourself.”
he keeps you in his embrace as if you’d run away if he were to let go. “i can’t think of anyone prettier than you,” he mutters, “or nicer, or funnier. or anything, really, because i think of you more than anyone else. i guess it’s my fault, kind of. i could’ve expressed it in ways other than walking you to class and ordering dumb overpriced drinks for you.” you let out a quiet laugh at his last sentence and he smiles, pulling away slightly so he’s able to see your face.
“i guess we’re both kind of stupid,” you conclude, earning a nod from the dark haired boy. “only when it comes to you,” he says, “i happen to think i’m very intelligent on every other occasion.”
when you finally regroup with everyone, they’re all wearing looks of disappointment on their faces. upon asking what happened, eunseok shoves a thumb in sungchan’s direction, the brown haired boy adorning a sheepish expression. “this fucker got the time wrong. the movie was at 6:15, not 7:15,” eunseok grimaces, “i better get a refund for my ticket.”
“you didn’t even pay for it,” wonbin says, “i did. sohee’s, too.”
anton, having been the first one to notice both yours and wonbin’s disappearance from the group, narrows his eyes at the boy. “and where were you?” he raises a brow, attempting to look intimidating. wonbin dismisses him with the wave of a hand.
before you and wonbin decided to rejoin your friends, you had to tell him not to hold your hand, much to his dismay. only after discovering the reason why, did he reluctantly agree.
you stand as far away from wonbin as possible, putting on a melancholy act. shotaro is the first to take notice of this, putting a hand on your shoulder. “did you tell him?” he questions, your silence serving as an answer in itself. eunseok overhears, looking at you with pity in his eyes.
when anton finally sees the distance put between you and wonbin, he concludes that you weren’t able to tell him about your feelings. he sighs, shaking his head.
as if on cue, you look at wonbin with determination burning in your eyes, beginning to advance towards him. the group is silent as they watch the two of you curiously.
“dark star,” you begin straightforwardly, “i’m in love with you.” wonbin tries concealing his laughter as he swiftly takes in the reactions of his friends. eunseok smiles knowingly while anton and shotaro are wide-eyed. seunghan wears an amused expression, sohee’s eyebrows are raised, and on top of it all, sungchan looks incredibly confused.
wonbin, keeping up the act, covers his mouth in mock astonishment. “did you guys hear that?” he turns to his friends, who are now all aware that they’re being pranked. “my girlfriend is in love with me!” wonbin beams, “metal blaze, i accept your confession.”
eunseok clicks his tongue, nodding. “metal blaze, that’s a good one,” he notes under his breath.
“alright, we get it,” anton groans, “it took you guys long enough.” he turns to you, unable to stop a smile from forming. “i hope you know i was never actually going to tell him myself. i only said that in hopes of scaring you into telling him.”
you nod, “eunseok told me that already. and it wasn’t me that confessed to wonbin— he confessed to me.” everyone is shocked at your comment, seunghan walking behind wonbin and giving him a congratulatory slap on the shoulder. you purposefully skip over the fact that you all but cried to wonbin immediately after said confession about how much you liked him in return, and he pinches your side.
“you know, when you guys disappeared, i made a bet with shotaro that you guys were probably making out somewhere,” eunseok adds, “he said you guys were probably just in the middle of the whole confessing thing. i owe him seven bucks now.” shotaro pats him on the back with false sympathy.
as the topic of conversation shifts to something else, sungchan’s jaw is still practically on the floor. he looks at the way wonbin has his arm around your shoulders, head practically buried in your neck. he can’t stop himself from blurting out his next words.
“has y/n had a crush on wonbin this entire time?!”
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AUTHOR’S NOTE! congrats to u if u survived reading all that ohhh lord i promise i’ll make y/n less unbearable next time but for now u guys are just gonna have to find it in ur hearts to forgive me… also it’s 5am rn and idk if i hate this fic umm we’ll see if i regret posting this when i wake up tmr
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pucksandpower · 1 year ago
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Max Verstappen x Leclerc!Reader - Social Media AU
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formulagossip added to their story
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f1wagupdates
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Liked by lightsoutmax, verstappenupdates, and 152,836 others
f1wagupdates Max Verstappen spotted leaving his hotel with a mystery woman this morning after celebrating winning his third World Championship last night. According to sources, the two partied together with the team and friends at a club following his victory before heading back to the hotel. Her face is hidden but rumor has it this could be a new romance for the World Champ. Looks like Max is enjoying the spoils of another successful season!
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lightsoutmax probably just a random groupie, max isn’t the relationship type
dutchlioness no way that’s a groupie
f1wagupdates i’m inclined to agree, they look pretty serious!
formulanone am i crazy or does that look like y/n leclerc to anyone else?
redbulletin you’re crazy
gridgossip i mean i wouldn’t be surprised. i bet this has been going on for a while between them! it would explain how she got the CTO job out of nowhere
f1girlie or she got it because she’s qualified and was literally trained by adrian newey to take over for him? it’s 2024, leave the misogyny at the door
maddermax i don’t think max would get involved with someone from his team
circuitqueen she looks so familiar but i can’t place her! it’s driving me crazy
verstappenupdates whoever she is, i need more details! our world champion’s love life is suddenly looking very interesting 😍
survivetodrive you need to learn how to stay out of drivers’ business
rblover for real! let the man live
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maxverstappen1
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Liked by y/n_leclerc, redbullracing, and 2,094,617 others
maxverstappen1 Five World Championships!
This one feels extra special because I get to celebrate with the love of my life who has been by my side for over three incredible years now ❤️
So I want to dedicate this championship to Y/N
Seeing Y/N thrive as Red Bull’s Chief Technical Officer and pursue her passion for motorsport after everything she has been through has been so special. Her brilliance and determination inspire me daily, both on and off the track. And her contributions to the team have been invaluable to our success. I am so lucky to have such an incredible partner to share these championships with
Winning races and championships is great but sharing my life with someone as smart, driven and caring as Y/N is the greatest gift I could ever ask for. I truly am the luckiest guy in the world. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us both. Here’s to many more years of continuing to chase our dreams together!
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redbullracing our world champion found his perfect match! wishing you both continued success and happiness 🤩
christianhorner so proud of you two. the ultimate power couple!
danielricciardo i knew something was going on there. congrats you two!
maxverstappen1 you don’t have to pretend like you didn’t know about us
y/n_leclerc you literally third-wheeled our last date night … and the one last month … and the one over summer break
y/n_leclerc i love you with all my heart, champion! thank you for always being my biggest supporter. so blessed to have you in my life 🥰
charles_leclerc how could you do this, y/n? after everything our family did for you?
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verstappenupdates our guy is all grown up 🥹 you two are goals!
f1wagupdates omg! when did this happen??? why has it been a secret for so long?
lightsoutmax pretty sure they got together the year before y/n was hired by red bull
redbulletin and they probably kept it a secret because people would have found a way to twist it into something negative
officialorangearmy relationship goals to the max! you two are perfect together 🧡
y/n_leclerc
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Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and 473,825 others
y/n_leclerc What a season! Winning a double championship for the second time feels so surreal. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my incredible team at Red Bull Racing who made this possible through their tireless hard work. We did it 🏆
And most of all, I am grateful for my incredible partner. Max, you’ve supported me every step of the way, encouraging me to follow my dreams and become who I was meant to be. You showed me what true unconditional love feels like
I am where I am now because of you. Your spirit pushes me to achieve greatness. Your kindness lifted me up when I needed it most. Your smile keeps me going on tough days. I couldn’t ask for a better teammate in life ❤️
The future is so bright for us. I can’t wait to see what we create together next. I love you! Let’s keep aiming for the stars ✨
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maxverstappen1 you make me so proud every day! loving and winning with you feels incredible. can’t wait for the rest of our lives together ❤️
redbullracing the ultimate teammate on and off the track! you two are unstoppable 👊
christianhorner red bull is lucky to have such a power pair leading our team. more glory to come!
danielricciardo you guys are relationship goals! congrats champs
charles_leclerc how long until you throw away this “fairytale” like you did our family?
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y/n_leclercfanpage our inspiring queen found her king! you give us hope that dreams do come true
f1girlie not me literally crying tears of joy 😭 they are so perfect together
womeninmotorsport seeing powerful women thrive in f1 gives me life 👏
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dark-fics-4-you · 10 months ago
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Heyyy saw ur request were open what about dark!rafe catches you talking shit about him to your friends over text???
How a Girlfriend is Supposed to Act
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Warnings: noncon, forced sex, domestic violence, choking, slapping, oral (m!recieving), toxic relationship, gaslighting
Despite being with Rafe for almost a year, you had learned all of the quirks that he had when it came to his possessiveness very early on.
The first time you caught him reading your texts, you were surprised by just how nonchalant he was about the entire situation.
He was sitting on your bed after you returned from grabbing the two of you a snack, scrolling through your phone, not even bothering to look up at you until you asked him what he was doing.
“You’re my girlfriend, Y/N.” He said it slowly, like he was reminding you of something you yourself couldn’t possibly forgot. The accusing fire in his gaze made you squirm. “Of course I have the right to look through your phone.”
At first you were too surprised to react. You had never really had a reason to look through Rafe’s phone, but you imagined he wouldn’t be too happy if you did.
“Why the fuck do you look so nervous, huh?” He was starting to sound annoyed, and his eyes were flicking between meeting yours and scanning your phone. “Got something you’re trying to hide from me?”
“What? No, Rafe! I just didn’t expect to find you going through my phone, that’s all.” You explained breathlessly. You didn’t know why he was accusing you of trying to keep secrets from him.
Unfortunately, the last thing that you should have done in that moment was try to snatch your phone away from Rafe.
His hand shot out, tightly gripping your wrist as he dug his fingers into the bone beneath your skin. You cried out in pain and watched as your phone fell onto the bed, before bouncing to the floor.
Your boyfriend was furious now, easily pulling you onto the bed by your wrist and onto your back at a painful angle before straddling you. You struggled beneath him, trying hopelessly to stop him from putting his hands on you
When Rafe slapped you across the face the first time, your ears rang and you swore that your vision went white for a moment.
Every sound became muffled but you could hear Rafe angrily chastising you from above, “dumb bitch. I mean, I pay for your fucking phone, so yeah, you’re not gonna talk back to me when I go through it.”
That was months ago, and you later learned that that wasn’t even the first time that Rafe had gone through your phone.
You weren’t cheating on Rafe, that much was 100% true. The problem was that Rafe’s definition of cheating included behaviors that you knew were not cheating.
Texting your classmate a question about homework turned into a two hour long fight that culminated in Rafe giving you a black eye.
After Rafe saw you had and Topper had sent each other a couple funny posts in instagram dm’s, he choked you so hard you passed out, leaving you to cover up the extensive bruising on your neck around your friends and family to avoid explaining what had happened.
Ever since then you had learned to be careful about who you texted, and if you ever texted anyone Rafe wouldn’t approve or said something that he wouldn’t like, you made sure to delete the conversations.
You were always so diligent in covering your tracks.
Except for the one time you really needed to.
After another argument with Rafe had become physical, once you finally got some space away from him you had texted a friend, vaguely venting your frustrations with him, without revealing too many details to make her suspicious that Rafe was hurting you.
As you shakily typed out the texts you couldn’t help but think back on the fight you had had. After catching a guy staring at you in the club, the moment you returned home, Rafe had been quick to grab you by the throat, pushing you up against the wall before hurling insults at you.
“I mean you dress like such a fucking slut, no wonder I have to chase these guys off. I bet you wanted his attention, didn’t you?” His eyes narrowed as he looked down at you with disgust.
You were so shocked by his outburst you had barely registered the fingers crushed your throat, and you finally gasped for air against his strong hand. “N-no, Rafe!”
His grip tightened as he regarded your fearful eyes, “nah, you always think you can fool me sweetheart but you never can.” His chuckled, but there was no hint of humor in his eyes, “I saw you looking at him when we first walked in.”
You shook your head against him, tears gathering in your eyes as you begged with him, “I wasn’t baby-”
“Shut the fuck up, Y/N.” He spat at you, squeezing so hard you were sure you would have deep purple bruises on your neck tomorrow.
“I never should have let you outta the house wearing that dress. You were looking for trouble walking around like that.” Rafe growled, his eyes were ice cold. You knew that he was itching for a fight, and you didn’t want to give him what he wanted.
“I’m sorry,” you struggled to force the words out with such little breath and Rafe finally gave you a respite when he loosened his grip on your throat. “You okayed it before we went out, I thought it wouldn’t be a problem.”
“I knew every guy at that bar would be trying to fuck you with their eyes, but I didn’t think you’d be doing the same to them!” The more he spoke, the more pissed off he seemed to be making himself. You knew that he was just convincing himself that his actions were justified.
When he tossed you to the floor, you yelped in pain when your shoulder hit the hard wood. You barely had time to reach for your tender neck before Rafe grabbed a fistful of your hair and forced you to look up at him.
“I mean, do you even love me anymore, Y/N?” His voice sounded hurt, and even though this wasn’t the first time he had used this card on you in the middle of putting his hands on you, you couldn’t deny the tug on your heartstrings you had when you looked into your boyfriend’s eyes.
“Of course I do, Rafe!” You insisted, knowing that your enthusiasm was expected and there would be consequences if you didn’t play along.
You were terrified of your boyfriend, and after being with him for so long, you were aware of the ways to deescalate a tense situation. In moments like these you would have said anything to protect yourself.
“Nah, you don’t mean that. You haven’t been yourself lately baby. Always too busy with work to spend time with me and now you’re talking back to me?” He shook his head, tsk-ing as he glared at you disgustedly. “Not to mention, you haven’t been fulfilling all of your duties as my girlfriend.”
You stared at him, puzzled and not understanding his meaning, “what are you talking about?”
“What are you talking about?” He repeated back to you in a mocking tone, like he couldn’t believe how dumb you were to not get it. “I mean, it’s been, what, five days since you last let me have sex with you? I have needs, Y/N. And when you can’t just lay on your back and spread your legs for me, you’re being a bad girlfriend.”
His words stung, and you couldn’t tell if the tears in your eyes were because of the large hand tangled into your hair, or because your boyfriend was acting like you owed him sex, like you were in the wrong right now.
“Now you’re gonna make it up to me, because you are really pissing me off right now, and I don’t want to hear any fucking complaints, do you understand?”
Your body was screaming in resistance, but you numbly realized that you were nodding your head. Rafe’s hand left your hair, finding your chin and gripping your jaw hard.
“Use your words, sweetheart,” the sick grin that was spread across his lips told you exactly how much Rafe was getting off on your humiliation right now and you wanted to be sick.
“I understand.” You forced the words past your gritted teeth, swallowing down the bile that threatened to come up.
Rafe unbuttoned his pants before sliding the zipper down and pushing them down his legs before pulling off his boxers as well.
His dick was hard, a bead of precum already pearled at the tip of his intimidating length.
You swallowed nervously, already afraid of how rough your boyfriend was going to be. You felt like you weren’t ready at all, but the sharp pain the bloomed on your cheek after Rafe slapped you told you that you must have hesitated for too long.
“Quit your damn procrastinating, Y/N,” he hissed, tangling his fingers into your hair again and pulling you to his dick, forcing the tip past your plump lips.
You didn’t have any time to be surprised, gagging and choking on him as he pushed himself deeper towards your throat. He groaned at the feeling of your throat squeezing his cock, urging himself further into the back of your mouth.
Rafe was in heaven, basking in the sight of your teary eyes and the ruined mascara that now trailed down your cheeks. You had looked so pretty at the club tonight, but now you were a crying mess. The noises of your gagging and the steady sound of Rafe’s cock hitting the back of your throat filled the space. Nothing had ever made Rafe hornier than seeing your beautiful, tear filled eyes begging and pleading with his.
He reached out to your cheek, wiping up a bit of saliva that had been forced past your lips. Your glassy eyes were unfocused now that you had given up any thoughts of resistance, too cock drunk to try protesting against the stronger man.
You were doing all you could not to gag on him and choke, knowing full well that that would only spur him on. Every time you pushed at his thigh to get him to ease up, he would slap your hand away with an annoyed grunt.
His pace was relentless now, one hand was gripping your hair and the other was at your throat, holding you still so he could push himself deeper.
“That’s right baby, fuck,” he bit back his groans, ignoring your gagging and desperate eyes when he forced himself too far down your throat, literally choking you with his cock. “Oh fuck- god Y/N, you’re better than any sex doll, you know why?”
He knew you couldn’t answer him, especially since he had started thrusting faster past your messy lips, but he still paused to drink in the sight before him.
“Because they can’t fight back,” Rafe sneered, picking up his pace again, reaching a punishing fervor.
The blond’s dick was slamming into the back of your throat while the large hand at your throat squeezed in warning anytime you so much tried to pull back.
He sped up on final time, chasing his high by forcing you to take all of his cock. Rafe held you in place and watched you choke on him for a couple seconds before letting out a low groan and spilling his salty seed down your throat, giving you no choice but to swallow every drop of it.
When he pulled his dick out of your mouth, you took a gasping breath, but weren’t allowed much air before Rafe slapped you across the face hard.
“From now on, I expect this and more from you every night we’re together. Because that’s how my girlfriend is supposed to act. And if you think about giving me any lip about that, then I’m gonna make you wish you had just kept your pretty mouth shut, got it?”
That rest of the night was no better than the beginning, after Rafe had helped you clean up, he basically immediately led you to your bed.
He chuckled in satisfaction when you didn’t fight back against his wandering hands, and as held tight to your wrists, plunging his cock into your slick cunt, he didn’t say anything about the tears rolling down your cheeks.
The next morning you had woken up sore, your entire body ached, and you weren’t surprised when you looked in the mirror and saw the red and purple blooming around your throat.
Rafe was still asleep, his deep snores letting you know that he wouldn’t be waking up soon.
You quietly snuck into the bathroom, grabbing your phone off of the bedside table on the way. Once you had shut and locked the door behind you, you exhaled deeply, unlocking your phone to check for messages.
Your friend had texted you asking how your night had gone, and feeling perhaps a little too honest, you told her that the two of you had had an “argument.”
‘he thought i was checking out a guy at the bar and said some really rude things to me last night.’ You laughed to yourself as you stared at your own words through blurry eyes. It was both funny and sad to you how used to covering for Rafe you now were.
The bathroom felt more cramped when you remembered that Rafe was just on the other side of the door, despite being asleep.
A new notification popped up soundlessly and you read your friend’s text. She was joking about gathering all of your mutual friends to gang up on Rafe.
If only she knew the extent of what Rafe had done to you. You were sure she wouldn’t be joking then. In spite of that, you were angry with Rafe and wanted to blow off a little steam with your friend.
Which is why you felt emboldened to continue texting her.
‘he’s such an asshole sometimes. i’ve been thinking about breaking it off with him soon.’
You huffed, putting your phone down before finishing up in the bathroom and opening the door.
To your surprise, Rafe was standing on the other side, waiting for you to get out before he brushed past you without a word.
You noticed he was taking longer than he usually did to just pee, and when he finally stepped out of the bathroom, you realized with a horrible chill why he had been in there for so long.
Clutched in his hand was your cellphone, and you could see that it was open to the messages you had just sent.
“‘He’s such an asshole, I’ve been thinking about breaking it off??’” His voice was cold and you cringed hearing him speak your words. There was no denying he had read your texts.
You shivered, frozen in place as he stared you down, his blue eyes boring so deep into you that you swore you could feel them burning straight through you.
Your mouth was so dry, you had never felt so afraid of your boyfriend before. Even after everything he had put you through, you had never said anything about breaking up with him to his face. “Rafe, I-”
If your instincts hadn’t kicked in, you would have taken the blow right to your nose, however you had been lucky enough to dodge the phone fast enough that it only nicked your forehead before smashing into pieces against the wall behind you.
Unfortunately, while you had been focused on dodging your phone, the taller man had closed the gap between you, easily pushing you up against the wall by your throat and choking you with both hands. Rafe’s fingers pressed down against the bruises that they had left there the previous night.
You wanted to scream, but Rafe had knocked the wind out of you and no matter how hard you shoved him, he wasn’t giving up.
“You’re mine,” he hissed as you struggled against him. “Maybe I’ve been hitting you too much recently, because I don’t remember you being this stupid when we first started dating.”
Before you could comprehend what was happening, Rafe had spun you around and pushed you face first into the bed. One of his hands was forcing your head against the mattress, while the other pawed at your silk pajama shorts, opting to rip away the fabric covering you before freeing his hard cock from his boxers.
“You think I’m an asshole?” He growled, the tip of his cock brushed against your slick cunt and you shuddered at the feel of him beginning to force himself inside of you.
“I’ll show you how much of an asshole I can be.”
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munsonsfairy · 4 months ago
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only have eyes for you 💍
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author's note: request by @urantisocialgay <3. i accidentally deleted your ask when i finished the fic. thank goodness that it was saved somewhere else too!! anyways, thank you for your request!! i love weddings and proposals!! you can never annoy me with writing this au. 🥹🥹
content: so so much love.
word count: 1.5k
song: i only have eyes for you by the flamingos
wedding au. | fic inspiration. | proofread by: @katemartinis <3
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The ring was perfect. It was a vintage style emerald cut signature solitaire with double claw and details on a 14k yellow gold band. All Paige could do was imagine your ring finger wearing it. She knew it was the one when she saw you admire it at the jewelry store.
Paige needed to take her chains and earrings to get cleaned. Your favorite thing to do was imagine what your engagement or wedding ring would look like. You always thought engagements, weddings, and all the planning involved were magical. Plus, wedding cake is always so yum.
One thing you made sure to always tell Paige is that you don't want to suspect you were getting engaged. You wanted to be completely surprised. Planning the proposal was not a breeze for her. Paige knew you better than anyone. She knew your favorite sunset was in San Diego. She remembers how you danced around in the sand and water that night.
To keep you oblivious, Paige surprised you with weekend getaway trip with your closest friends. Your friends were told to let you have all the fun you wanted. The day of the proposal was the last night of your trip, so all of you get ready for a nice dinner by the water. Well, at least that is what was supposed to be happening.
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Azzi called Paige panicking because you noticed your girlfriend's location was off which never happened before, and as an overthinker everything you could think of ran through your mind. You would call Paige, and her phone would go straight to voicemail. The thought of going out was the last thing you wanted to do.
"She's not budging! You need to call her if you want to be engaged by tonight." Azzi whispered loudly over the phone.
Paige sighs, "Okay, okay let me call her. Hopefully she can't figure out that I'm lying to her." She knew you were smart enough to piece everything together.
After so much convincing from Kayla, you were finally getting ready when she Facetimed. “Heard someone missed me,” she smiled teasing you.
You sigh starting to feel silly for worrying, “Mhmm. Did you forget to charge your phone again?”
While you were putting the finishing touches of your makeup, Paige was admiring you. She couldn’t stop staring and thinking about spending forever with you. A part of her couldn’t believe an angel like you could love her.
You look from your mirror back to your phone when you didn’t hear an answer from her. “You’re staring.”
“You’re so gorgeous.” You rolled your eyes playfully.
“Look who’s talking. Such a pretty girl with her bun and braids.”
Now it was your turn to make Paige shy making her cover her red face. "Yooo, I'm talking about you right now." She says with her face in her hands.
“Ughhhh, get a room!” You heard KK and Ice yelling from the phone.
Paige rolls her eyes and hears Kayla ask you if you’re ready. “Call me before bed, princess?”
The way she’s looking at you right now makes you want to melt. Your favorite feature of Paige was always her eyes.
“Now look who’s staring,” she laughed.
“Shh, I’ll call you before bed. Keep your phone charged!”
She laughed again, “Alright, alright. I love you, *kiss kiss*. Bye.”
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You and your friends were all going to wear white to dinner. They thought it was a good idea to match to keep you from questioning anything. Before you left the room, you stood in front of the mirror to make sure everything was okay. For some reason you had a feeling you couldn’t describe. All day felt magical and dreamy.
The ride to the “restaurant” was filled with whispering and giggles. Kayla was documenting the whole trip with her camera, so it was no surprise to you when she leaned forward to the passenger seat and took a video with you.
Paige’s proposing went through your head just for a second. You don’t know why but your intuition is never wrong. All the pieces started coming together; the random planned trip, dress, & her being MIA all day? You started to feel a mix of excitement, happiness, & sadness. You always dreamed of this moment, but this meant a chapter of your life is closing. The last time you’ll be a girlfriend. The last time it’s just you. You closed your eyes and quietly said goodbye to this chapter of your life and to the little girl in you.
You took a deep breath and processed how surreal this is. The possibility of becoming a fiancé gives you goosebumps and butterflies. The girl you love with your whole heart could be waiting for you with a ring reading to give you, her heart.
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"Kayla just texted me letting us know they are about five minutes away." KK came running out of the house full of excitement as she should be since her and Nika introduced her to you, but that is a story for another time.
"Okay," Paige deeply sighed trying to release any worry and anxiety. She knows you love her and vice versa.
"She loves you, Paige. Everyone knows and sees it," Nika reassured and hugged her twin.
Tears welled up in Paige's eyes as she was hugging Nika. She laid her head on Nika’s shoulder squeezing her tight.
“Nah, you aren’t going to cry yet!” Paige laughed and finally felt all her nerves leave.
KK heard car doors slamming coming from the front of the house, "Okay, they're hear. Are you ready?" She asked Paige.
Paige nodded letting the two girls run back to the house to watch from inside. She took a deep breath and prayed a small prayer to release any doubt she felt.
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
Instead of arriving to a restaurant as you thought, you were standing in front of a beautiful baby blue house. The front of the house was decorated with tickseeds, cosmos, and sunflowers. There was a white porch swing with pillows covered in seashells.
Your friends started walking through a garden gate that was to the right of the house. You gasped at the beautiful garden in front of you. For a moment, you thought you were in a fairytale storybook.
The further you walked you started seeing the beach. When you finally reached the middle of the garden, you saw Paige standing there surrounded by white roses. She was wearing a lace short sleeve shirt and shorts with blue adonis flowers. Her hair was in a bun with her two signature braids.
Kayla took all of your things and let you walk to your girlfriend while everyone else went inside. You felt like you were floating those 30 seconds you ran towards Paige. All the moments you thought this only happens in movies vanished. You pinched your finger to make sure you weren't dreaming. Nope this is real and ouch.
All the nerves and doubt were gone when Paige saw you standing in the garden. You looked like an angel in white surrounded with flowers. She swears she saw you glowing. Both of you were giggling and crying so much Paige almost forgot to ask you.
You ran into Paige’s arms, and she lifted you spinning you in a circle. The both of you couldn’t stop smiling and laughing. The love you had for each other radiated off you.
Paige put you down and grabbed both of your hands. She brought them to her lips and kissed both of your knuckles.
She squeezed your hands three times silently saying I love you. “They say when you know, you know, and I’m so glad I know. I can’t possibly describe how much I love you in a short time. You’re the light of my world and the stars of my universe. Every day I am so blessed to be loved someone as precious as you. I can’t imagine my life without you and your love. You’ve shown me how beautiful love is. I admire you and how strong and intelligent you are. I love the love we share and want to do it forever.”
Tears were rolling down your face as you looked into each other’s eyes. You and her laugh at how much of mess you both are. “Thank you for always showing me a love that is so magical. I never want to find it anywhere else. You show me a genuine adoration that I will forever cherish.”
Everything felt like a fairytale. You couldn’t believe how lucky you were to be hearing such beautiful words coming from someone who loves you. You felt so many emotions all at once. Your heart was full of love and happiness.
“I love you so much and I promise to always for all of my days.” Paige took a breath before getting on one knee. Although you knew she was going to propose, it still felt surreal seeing it happen in front of you. You aren’t dreaming.
You cover your mouth from shock when you saw the ring. THE ring!! The one you tried on weeks ago. You vividly remember how right everything felt when you wore it for those few seconds. The same feeling you feel right now with Paige.
“I want to share every moment with you. The good and the bad. I want to laugh and cry with you. You’re my sweetheart, best friend, and soulmate. You’re my person. Will you marry me?”
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hereforhalstead · 4 months ago
Text
Shall I try someone else?
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Spencer/MGG x Reader
Listen, I have no shame in using this gif
NOT PROOFREAD
*******
‘ I cant believe I’m gonna text him’
You scoffed to yourself, eyeing the phone you held in your hand, thumb hovering over his name on your chat list on whatsapp.
Almost daring yourself not to give into the desires you knew you craved and that he could so easily fulfil.
‘are you awake?’
You sounded like a foolish teenager, thinking that sounded better than the stereotypical ‘you up?’ at 3am text.
Spoiler alert, it didn’t .
You almost threw your phone on the ground, it landing face up beside you as your knees were instinctively bought to your chest in panic, regretting sending the text as soon as you pressed send.
Almost instantly, the screen lit up. You could see it from the corner of your eye, reluctant to look down.
You peered over your arm, wincing as you read the message through squinted eyes.
‘Of course, darling’
Your heart melted, your stomach flipped, your heart rate quickened.
You promised yourself you wouldn’t feel this way.
He told you not to fall for him.
Yet what did you do, oh yeah.
You fell absolutely head over heels, 100%, life consumingly in love with him. Good one.
Mere moments had passed, you hadn’t unlocked the phone as you sat and mustered a response.
He hardly gave you much to go from, did you completely out yourself and admit why you messaged him or did you play it off with a simple ‘cool’?
Your phone once again, lit up in your hand. Your eyes darting to the screen without a second thought or hesitation as you scanned the words on the screen.
‘any particular reason you wanted to know, pretty girl?’
Shit, even through a screen he had you backed against a virtual wall. Making the hunger for him to have you actually pushed up against a wall, ten times more intense.
‘just wondered if you wanted to come over, cant sleep ☹’
You laughed at the innocent sad face added to the end, feeling the complete opposite and knowing he would see through it.
The grey ticks turned to blue as soon as you sent the message, quickly exiting out of the chat as though you didn’t want to seem desperate.
Not like your phone was now stuck to your hand with your eyes not leaving the screen as you wait for his response.
‘Poor baby, not sure how I would be able to help though?’
You could practically see the smug grin on his face, arm folded behind his head to prop himself up against the headboard of the bed. Thumb dancing over the keypad as he probably typed out all the ways in which he could help, before deleting them as if nothing happened.
‘oh no!’
You yet again, sarcastically added the exclamation. Clearly having too much fun with the situation yourself now.
‘guess I will just have to try someone else’
Ordinarily you wouldn’t have sent such a text, you didn’t have anyone else you could ask, you weren’t one of those girls who had the ‘lucky’ bunch stored in your phone who you could text at early hours of the morning to come over.
Even if you did, you wouldn’t want anyone else. Just him.
You wanted to see how far you could push him, knowing the way his eyes would’ve darkened with reading the message.
Probably reading it a few times to ensure he read it right, phone clutched in his hand, bringing it up to his pursed lips in frustration.
It took a significantly less amount of time to yet again see ‘typing’, flash up next to his name on the chat. Your heart rate though the roof as you hear your phone chime.
‘baby you are funny, we both know you wouldn’t dare’
You sat on his response for a minute or two, letting him sweat as he could see you’d read the message.
‘goodnight sweet cheeks’
You were proud of yourself for your blunt response, even if he didn’t reply, you’d sure be obscenely offended but you wouldn’t be shocked.
If he had sent you a message even close to that, the phone probably would’ve been launched across the room and loud groan that could’ve been heard from down the corridor of your apartment building.
The grey ticks, stayed grey for what felt like an eternity. In fact, you stared at the screen for 4 solid minutes, waiting.
You huffed, regretting your text. Had you ruined it? Took it too far?
He could be an annoying prick sometimes and knew exactly how to push your buttons, especially when it came to making you jealous but in all honestly you couldn’t imagine him sending you a message like the one you had sent.
The room was silent, you took yourself over to the mirror as if you needed to take a long hard look at yourself, but in actual fact you just chuckled. Grow up.
You needed to test him, needed to see how he felt. If he wanted you, he would.
Simple as that.
If you were going to keep falling for him, the least you could do was find out if you were both kind of on the same page, even the same book would be good.
You continued to stare in the mirror as you got ready for bed, accepting your defeat and pondering on how you’ll deal with such rejection on a clear mind in the morning.
Scraping your hair into a ponytail, you saw your phone light up on the bed. Seeing his name flash at the top of the screen with the green and red ‘accept’, ‘decline’ buttons staring you in the face.
You froze.
He knew you hated phone calls, especially when he hadn’t told you he was going to call. Prick.
Your thumb hit the accept button before your brain could scream at you to let it go to voicemail, holding the phone to your ear to hear that raspy voice you so desperately craved.
‘I’m outside, little one. You gonna come and let me in or should I try buzzing someone else?’
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itsnathateasy · 2 months ago
Text
your first kiss with these aot characters
warnings: smoking, but mostly angst and fluff! word count: 4,6k author’s note: in all of these scenarios, the reader and the character had been having tension build up over time, so the kiss isn’t completely out of nowhere fyi includes: armin, eren, mikasa, levi, hange, erwin, ymir, connie, jean, reiner, bertholdt, annie
⭑🪻 ⭒ 💜 . ✦ 🙈 . ⁺ . ✦ 🔮 . ⁺ . ✦ 🙈 . 💜⭒🪻 ⭑
it took armin all he had in him to finally close the distance between the two of you and kiss you. the fact that you were surrounded by your friends wasn’t able to stop him this time. he’d longed to kiss you for months now and the time was never right, but the way you kept holding onto his hand now, laughing at his jokes, eyes lidded as you covered your mouth with the palm of your hand to silence your laughter was really getting to him. you were just so cute, so beautiful in his eyes. the moment you set your drink on the window sill beside you, he knew he couldn’t waste any more time. his palm touched your cheek softly, eyes eager as he whispered your name, before pressing his lips onto yours, a kiss so sweet, so anticipated for. you felt yourself sigh in the kiss, your muscles relaxing by the warmth of your bodies being pulled closer together like magnets. as you pulled away, you stared into each other’s eyes with tenderness, a smile spreading on your faces, along with pink patches on your cheeks. you were so drunk on each other, that you almost didn’t hear your friend jean whistling at you, the rest of your friends clapping their hands and cheering you on. “fucking finally mate!” jean patted armin’s back in approval, as he put an arm over your shoulders. “he’s been planning this for months, y/n, did you know?” a smirk plastered all over his face. armin simply reached his arm to remove jean’s from around your shoulders, adding a “no touching jean” before locking lips with you again.
“can you quit being so mean eren? jean did nothing wrong!” you exclaimed as you pulled eren’s phone away from his fingers, immediately deleting the nasty text he’d sent to jean. “i’m typing “sorry, wrong person” instead… why are you like this?” you questioned him, heaving. once the new, proper text was sent, you locked his phone and gave it back to him, giving him a scolding look. “jean should keep to his own business. he knew about our date today, he didn’t have to facetime you when he very well knew you were with me. what is he trying to prove?” he scoffed, stuffing the phone back in his pocket, along with his hands, not attempting to go against you again. “jean’s my friend, eren. i asked him to call me, to check in with me. girls do this all the time, especially on first dates!” eren froze, slightly turning to side to look at you, a look of disappointment on his face, as he regretted what he’d just said to. “were you scared to meet me today, y/n? is that why you wanted jean to check in?” he asked. “that’s not it, eren, you know i was looking forward to our date. but it’s better to be safe than sorry, you know? what if i never made it to your place or if you’d fallen asleep and i had to go back home alone and something bad happened?” you trailed off, eren nodding as he understood what you meant. “i’m sorry, y/n, i see how i overreacted. frankly, i think jean’s been hitting on you for ages, i felt… threatened that he had the audacity to call you when he knows i’ve invited you over” he said, pulling your legs back into his lap, tracing his hand up and down your calf. “threatened? THE eren jaeger felt threatened?” you couldn’t keep your laughter as eren fake slapped your calf. “stop it, y/n! you know what i mean and besides… i really do like you. i wouldn’t simply allow anyone to steal you from me, especially not jean, especially not before i’ve even managed to do this” you were taken aback when he leaned his body over yours, pulling you closer by your legs and kissing you all of a sudden. you grabbed onto his shoulders for balance as you deepened the kiss, feeling him smile into it. you pulled away only to crash your lips on each other again and again. “you’re way too bold for someone who claimed to have felt threatened, eren” “shut up and make out with me, y/n”.
the moment you removed your headphones to step into the cafeteria, you heard mikasa yelling your name from some place behind you. as you turned around, you saw her racing towards you before almost crashing onto you, had she not placed her hands on your shoulders’ height, separating the two of you. she spoke, breathlessly “i’ve been calling for you, y/n! didn’t you hear me?” you gave her a guilty smile, pointing to your headphones in your hands. “sorry mikasa, i barely just took them off. what happened, though? are you alright?” “yes, everything’s alright, i noticed you and didn’t want you to walk alone. thought you’d seen me when i waved earlier, but it seems i was mistaken” she explained and gave a small laughter. “yeah, sorry, i’m terrible when on the street, i only look out for cars! you could be waving a banner at me and i probably wouldn’t notice it either!” you joked, making her laugh again. she was so beautiful when she laughed, you thought to yourself. a few seconds passed before either of you spoke again and mikasa was the one to break the silence. “uhm, you’re looking good today. meeting anyone special?” “you could say that, i’m just meeting historia for our weekly catch up” mikasa’s face dropped, her mouth forming and almost silent “oh”. “what makes historia so special to you, y/n?” you frowned at her question, as if she didn’t know how close the both of you had been for years. “uhm, she only is my best friend in the entire world? have known her since primary school? love her to death?” but mikasa wasn’t being too chatty all of a sudden and simply responded with another barely audible “oh”. (i swear, this girl) “so you’re not like… on a date or something?” you couldn’t help but laugh at her naivety. “you should tell this to ymir, she’ll be so mad someone mistook ME for historia’s girlfriend instead of her!” you joked in a low voice, “but please don’t tell anyone, mikasa, they’re not official yet”. and, again, another “oh”. “so… can i be special for you, but like this?” she questioned as he leaned towards you to kiss you on the lips. her soft touch made your heart beat faster and you quickly put your arms around her waist. as you broke the kiss, mikasa smiled at you. “thoughts?” she asked. your mind was racing and you couldn’t respond properly. you liked mikasa for so long that now that you’d finally kissed, you were at loss for words. “oh… uhm…” was all you mustered up. “copy cat” said mikasa right before leaning in to kiss you again.
levi never expected to kiss you. like, not ever. your relationship so far had been strictly professional, only turning to friendly quite recently. still, he’d never imagined you thought of him the same way he thought of you. you were sat in his office, hunched over a variety of sheets, post-it notes, pens and two coffee cups that’d gone cold long ago, neither of you bothering to fill them up, and instead sipping on the cold, bitter beverage. as your hands fumbled with the files, you kept on arguing with each other, trying to reach a conclusion, but your questions still remained, you couldn’t solve the mystery of the missing tax payments that man should’ve been paying. “y/n, you’re really not listening. i’ve told you a thousand times, this file is irrelevant to the case” “but HOW can it be irrelevant, ackerman? don’t you see how this man’s playing us with the dates? notice this detail here and-” you kept on explaining to levi, but he found himself staring at you, your voice steadily disappearing, your words not reaching his ears or his mind. “ackerman… are you still here?” you questioned, waving a hand in front of him, bringing him back to reality. “yes, y/n, i’m sorry. this case is really something and i’m too tired to reach a rational conclusion. let’s get some rest and we can revisit this tomorrow, what do you say?” he asked and only now did you notice how red his eyes were. probably as red as yours. “sure, ackerman, we’re wasting our time anyway” you stated while packing your things. “need a ride?” he asked, jiggling his car keys in front of you. “i’ve mine, but thanks! walk me to the parking lot?” you suggested before leaving the office together, levi locking the door behind you. he walked you all the way to your car and as you moved to sit in the driver’s seat, he put his arm on the door, preventing it from closing. “i’ll pick you up myself tomorrow and drive you home after work. you shouldn’t be going home on your own at this hour” “thanks ackerman, but don’t feel obliged to, it really is no problem” you explained as levi was hunching down to reach your level. “it really is, y/n” he gulped as he pressed his lips onto yours, making you jump slightly, breaking the kiss. “i’m sorry, y/n, i didn’t realise that-” an embarrassed expression spreading on his face, his hands awkwardly leaving the door frame. you quickly interrupted him “levi- i- i panicked, but… kiss me again?”. he looked back at you, his lips forming a sheepish smile. “i’m glad you transitioned to levi” locking his lips with yours again, giving you a goodnight kiss.
“no, if you look at the other person and step on it, it means you like them, if you don’t step on it while looking at them, it means you’re not interested. god, y/n, you need to work on your cigarette signals!” hange explained, taking a drag from their cigarette, blowing the smoke your way. “i’m new to this, i’m not supposed to learn it all in a day! plus, i shouldn’t be expected to learn anything, hange. isn’t it bad enough that i picked up this unhealthy habit from you?” you joked and laughed with hange as you shared a cigarette during your break. spending your breaks together had become tradition for the both of you. the new part was hange asking you to “take a drag” once, then again and again, until you actually bought a packet a few weeks later and offered them a cigarette. since then, there was no single break you wouldn’t spend together, smoking. it was intimate, in a way, that you only got to do this with hange and they’d admitted to only sharing their breaks with you, ever since you got accepted to the company. “you got me there! but you really should learn your smoking lingo soon or one might misunderstand your intentions, y/n” they said before dropping their cigarette on the ground, stepping on the fallen butt, looking at you. you quickly got the cue and dropped your own cigarette on the ground and stepped on it while maintaining eye contact with them. “for real, y/n?” they asked surprised, yet scooting closer to you from where they previously rested their back. “for real, hange” you hooked your finger in the loops of their jeans, tugging on them lightly before kissing them. a few moments later, when you broke the kiss, they looked at you mischievously, an almost criminal grin on their face. “and on company premises too, y/n? that’s kinda hot” “shut up and get back to work hange”. you were giggling at each other on your way in.
‼️DON’T LEAVE YOUR CIGARETTE BUTTS ON THE GROUND AND ALSO DON’T SMOKE‼️
“is it okay if i come in? i know we usually have our meetings in my office, but this couldn’t wait any longer” erwin asked, peaking his head through your office door, not stepping in quite yet. “come in! what’s the rush?” you motioned for him to sit in the empty chair, but he lifted his hand up in refusal, taking a few steps closer to your desk instead. he positioned himself to lean his weight on the side of your desk, forcing you to swivel your chair to the side in order to face him. “we’ve been spending more and more time together, y/n, and, in all honesty, i’ve been quite enjoying it” with his arms crossed over his chest, he was a marvel to look at. “i mean… i guess so. overtime is overtime, but i’m also very glad to be spending it with you, you’re a great colleague” you said as you awkwardly bumped his arm with your fist. “that’s not what i mean” he said as he bowed lower to pull your chair closer to his, trapping you. “i mean i’m enjoying the time i’m spending with you, getting to know you better and also that i really like you, y/n”. you were left speechless, but in a good way. erwin admitting to having this kind of interest in you made you smile and you soon leaned your head closer to kiss him. “you’re too bold for kissing me in your office, y/n” erwin said playfully, stepping away from you as you grabbed a stack of papers and attempted to hit him with it for teasing you.
ymir was restless from the moment you met her at your usual hang out spot. you could tell something was off, she seemed so… nervous or maybe even impatient. she’d normally ask you to tell her about your day, but this time she never questioned it. when you decided to share what was new anyway, she kept stealing glances at you, not asking very many questions while you spoke. honestly, you were starting to feel a little uneasy, she almost behaved like a child who broke the tv screen and was trying to come up with a believable excuse as to what had happened. “ymir, just stop this and tell me what the hell is wrong?” you demanded, obviously annoyed by her behaviour. “listen, y/n…” she began to explain, sighing deeply, her eyes focus on the pavement. seconds later, she put her arms on your shoulders, keeping you in place as she spoke again, staring deep into your eyes now. “i really need to tell you something… it’s been eating me for so long and i just can’t-” and pulled you closer to her with one swift motion, pressing her lips onto yours. when you opened your eyes again, you found hers looking back at you expectantly. “is that all, ymir?” you questioned. “yes… that’s all… hope it’s okay?” you smiled at her, seeing how she was still feeling a bit too awkward about this. “i was hoping you’d do this soon actually. and to think you’ve had me here this entire time, being all… however you were before, and i thought something really bad had happened!” you sighed, relieved, as you took her hand in yours. “yeah, something IS wrong” she grabbed your other hand and placed it on her chest. “ymir, i think this is extremely inappropriate” you whispered, blushing. “no, no, just feel it! my heart's still beating out of my chest, y/n!”
connie kept begging you and your friend group to go camping for ages, but you regretted supporting his idea. he put himself in charge of finding a good spot, and, lo and behold, no spot was “the correct spot”. tired from walking for about two hours straight, you, jean and sasha convince him to settle down and set up your tents. it took ages, but you were finally settled. jean and sasha went to get wood for the fire as you and connie checked if everyone’s tents were secure and tied a rope from one tree to a second to hang your clothes to dry. “we make a good team, right, y/n?” he questioned, an earnest smile on his face. “we really do, connie. we should do this more often! but you need to work on your spot-finding skills!” you joked. as the day faded into night, you found yourselves covered in your sleeping bags, sitting around the fire. sasha was attempting to scare you with some murder mystery stories, but she was unsuccessful, as she’d mix up all the details. the constant talking of your friends and the warmth of the fire soothed you and soon you found yourself dozing off. you didn’t know how much time had passed when you heard connie whispering “shhhh… be quiet jean, she’s almost asleep”. your eyes remained closed, too sleepy to open. you felt connie moving from where he was next to you, scooting closer to your body, then throwing his arm around you to spoon you. “goodnight, y/n”, he whispered in your ear as he softly kissed your temple. your eyes opened wide at the unexpected kiss and you turned your head slightly, only to find connie looking back at you equally surprised. “i thought you were sleeping, y/n” he admitted shyly. “i was. kind of. goodnight connie” you pushed your head towards him, kissing him on the mouth. he quickly cupped your face, keeping it steady as he deepened the kiss. “we’ll… we’ll talk about this when we get back home. i’m not risking either of these two idiots making fun of us on the way home” he chuckled quietly.
you were pushing your cart through the cereal aisle, when you heard jean calling for you. he’d offered to help you with your grocery shopping and you didn’t have it in you to say no. jean was a literal sweetheart for always offering to help you with anything you might need, but he always seemed a bit distant when you were hanging out with your friends. it was a real privilege to have him all to yourself today and he seemed to be enjoying following you around quite a bit. “did you get the brown sugar you needed for your cake, y/n? cause this one’s on sale! should we get it?” you giggled at his eagerness to shop your entire list. “put it in the cart jean, can’t miss out on the offer you scouted!” he blushed, walking to your cart and setting the bag of sugar inside. “i came here to help, not to be made fun off, y/n” he teased, taking the cart from your hands and pushing it away, making you follow him. “it’s a joke. i really appreciate you coming along. shopping alone in these huge stores is boring” you explained, placing one of your hands on the cart, barely grazing his own. “oh so that’s why you called jean? to crack some jokes?” he chuckled, making more space on the cart handle so you laid both of your hands on it. “drop it horseface, you’re having more fun than i am. we even got your special treats for later” he side-eyed you, a grin decorating his face. “me having fun is only partially true. i’m also doing half of your chore for you” he said as he elbowed you lightly. “you’re getting treats in return AND you’re having a blast!” “that i am” he said as hunched down a bit to reach your lips and kiss you, forcing you on your toes to get closer to his level. you were utterly dumbfounded at the kiss, a kiss you’d been hoping for a while now, but jean went on with your grocery list. once you’d paid, you made your way out of the store, still very confused about jean’s unexpected reaction to kissing you. it was almost as if he kissed you with all he had, and then forgot he did it. as you were loading the bags in the back of his car, you cracked the question, unwilling to wait any longer. “why are you being so cold right after our first kiss, jean?” he turned towards you in an instant, eyes wide, almost in terror. “after our what? what are you talking about, y/n?” “jean! you kissed me! in the cereal aisle? like 20 minutes ago?” “I DID?” he almost shouted before realisation reached his face. “but it came so naturally, y/n, i didn’t… god i just ruined our first kiss!” (what a bimpo, i love him)
“i can’t believe you dragged me to that bar, y/n! it was terrible!” reiner couldn’t hold back his laughter, his hand on his stomach as he reminisced your unexpected night at the bar. “you can’t complain, you were having a blast reiner! AND you had the cutest guy hit on you! he was so 2014 harry styles, i’d be drooling if i were you!” you managed to say in between your own fits of laughter. “Y/N! that guy made me feel so uncomfortable! he was so pushy! and also, i thought it was obvious i was on a date with you!” he explained, his laughter gradually falling silent. your own laughter was also cut short. staring back at reiner, you noticed the small, soft smile on his face. “were we really, reiner? cause you never like… asked me out properly?” “ah, yeah, i didn’t” he admitted, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “it was heavily implied, though!” he exclaimed, chuckling. “too bad i didn’t catch the cue then, it would’ve been a killer first date!” you smiled back at him, scooting closer. “reckon? cause that guy was kinda stealing me from you” you both laughed again, the silence that fell between you feeling comfortable. “i can handle it. but, i’d rather know if we go on other dates from now on” you said, staring awkwardly at the ceiling. “you will, you will” he said, still giving you a small smile. “can i kiss you, y/n?” you felt your heart stop as you looked back at him. “you have to ask me this?” “what can i say, i’m the king of consent!” he said, lifting an eyebrow and reaching his fingers to lift your chin towards him before connecting his lips with yours. you spoke again after you’d pulled away from the kiss. “so… when’s our next date, self-proclaimed king of consent?” you giggled, softly bumping him with your shoulder. “quit it or i’ll go back to that harry styles guy!”
“is it okay if i hold your hand, y/n?” bertholdt shyly asked. your shift had finished a few minutes ago and you were walking to the bus stop together, a habit of yours since you two became closer. yet, the hand holding was a first and it made your heart skipped a beat. “i’d love to!” you responded and extended your palm towards him. he quickly intertwined his fingers with yours, as you walked the remaining distance. you continued to chat away as per usual, your connected hands not causing any change in his behaviour. you took your seats next to each other on the bus, still not breaking the link between you, not even when bertholdt tried to grab your backpack as well to set it between his legs, creating more space for you to sit. the air was comfortable between you on the way home and you were so stoked he’d finally made a move, but now it was your turn. “i love the rides home ever since we started taking the bus together, you know?” you admitted and it brought a smile to his face. he stared back at you with tender eyes as he nodded “yes”, rubbing his thumb on your soft skin. you reached your hand and traced his thigh, resting it between his legs. bertholdt flicked at the sudden touch, but didn’t do anything to remove your hand. “bert… look at me, please”. now that you had his undivided attention, you stood up as discreetly as you could to reach his face and, finally, kiss him, a thing you longed to do for a few weeks now. bertholdt returned the kiss, his hand leaving yours to rake through your hair instead. “y/n i didn’t… expect this to happen but wow” he said and giggled, pulling away from the kiss, his hand still caressing your hair and scalp. “you seemed like you wanted me to kiss you, bert” “i did, i… really, really did… but can we stop now cause that weird third floor lady is staring at us and licking her lips and i feel violated and exposed?” you panicked at his words as you turned the other way to see how that lady was indeed giving you some… questionable looks, to say the least. you couldn’t help but laugh out loud the moment your eyes met bertholdt’s again, hiding your face in his neck to hide your embarrassment. “wanna get off at my place instead? we can order take out!” “it’s a plan, y/n!” he said, still unable to conceal his laughter.
annie was always distant and that was a turn off for everyone. except for you. the more she’d tease you and then avoid you, the more you found yourself infatuated with her. “are you coming over, annie? still ignoring my texts smh” you text her, not expecting the “omw” prompt response. everything was ready, the way you felt annie would enjoy. red wine, soft blankets and her favourite take out, which you did your best to keep warm, as she was continuously running late. the knock on your door mere moments later was enough to pull you out of your trance. “i’m here. what now?” “someone’s moody...” you said, guiding her inside. “what’s the matter?” “not much, y/n. i just don’t understand why we couldn’t hang with everyone else like we normally do” she scoffed, kicking off her shoes and hanging her coat. “whoa, okay, i didn’t realise spending time with me was such a burden to you” you blurted, your words making her freeze. “don’t feel obliged to do me any favours, annie, i just wanted to have a quiet evening with you for once. you’ve been playing me for months and i thought this was just your way of expressing yourself, but i was wrong. you just don’t like me and this wasn’t teasing. it was you blatantly making fun of me in front of our friends” you couldn’t help but snap at her, her cruel reaction to you inviting her over finally doing the trick. “y/n, i-” she began, but you wouldn’t let her speak, wouldn’t let her humiliate you again. “y/n this and y/n that. you don’t like me and that’s fine. but don’t play me like rag doll, okay? i’ve been asking everyone what food you like and what kind of a date you might enjoy and i actually put effort into planning this tonight, and you’re only coming here to not even acknowledge the effort? to not even give me a chance?” she was staring at the floor, unable to meet your gaze. “enough of this annie, please go” you said as you handed her back her coat. “thay’s not it, y/n...” she said, fidgeting with her ring. “what is it then?” you tried to contain yourself, you were on the verge of tearing up. “it’s just… you’re so cool and beautiful and everyone loves you and they all said how you were so excited to plan this and i don’t feel like i deserve this… you’re too good for me, y/n and i don’t know what to do to be better for you...” she sniffed and you realised you might be on the verge of crying, but annie was already at it, as she used the outer side of her palm to wipe away her tears. “annie, i-” “no, y/n, you’re right. i’ve been nothing but shit to you because i don’t know how to deal with this, with my feelings… i’m so sorry, y/n… i’ll just go” she took her coat from your hands and turned around but you stopped her by not letting go of the coat, still grabbing onto it. “please stay, annie. i’d really like it if you did” you admitted, now crying your eyes out as well. you felt the tug on the coat loosening as she took a step towards you. “i know this won’t fix shit but can i kiss you, y/n? hope it isn’t too much to ask” she sniffed again, not quite returning your gaze yet. “i’d like that, annie” she half smile, as she wrapped her arms around you and crashing her lips onto yours.
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loaksbitch · 2 years ago
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blame tumblr for deleting my draft and make me rework this with rush— now girlies, imagine jealous neteyam pull you to his side, claiming you as his yes? this is the long awaited update (pt 3) of the i trusted you series.
warnings - hard angst, vulgar language, jealous neteyam i repeat, JEALOUSY NETEYAM! ugh, cussing, neteyam is tired of hurting and trying, kiri is best girl for boosting up neteyam to make a step kinda? that’s it for now!
likes and reblogs are appreciated for the final part! i love each and every one of you babies mwah!! — 3.2k wc and poor-ish grammar
“i want to trust you.” — neteyam sully (★,꩜)
here’s part (one) – (two) — (four) of this series
neteyam’s state wasn’t good when he went back home.
you’re leaving the clan because of him, you’re leaving your home, your childhood, your everything because of him.
you’re leaving him because of him.
still not accepting the words you’ve said to him, he hadn’t noticed his younger sister waiting for him right when he got back to the village, hunting long forgotten.
kiri on other hand had enough, she’s tired of seeing her brother suffer for what he was trying to make right, especially after that night. the night she saw her perfect brother kneel in front of a female na’vi begging you not to go.
“neteyam,” his name being called, pulls him out from his thoughts and his tired eyes land on his sister who has her arms crossed against her chest. “what part of leave me alone don’t they understand?” neteyam silently says under his breath
“you know i can hear you right?” kiri scoffs
“what part of i want to be alone don’t you all understand?” this time he says it clearly and louder. neteyam doesn’t give her time before walking past her and if only if it wasn't for her next words? he wouldn’t have frozen at his spot.
“if you love her, go for her.”
there she goes again, now he needs to tell her he doesn’t want to hear anything about that future mate of his, that female na’vi he doesn’t even want.
“kiri.” he starts to turn and face her, his amber eyes swollen and puffy it makes her sad. “i’ll say this for the last time, i don’t want anyone to bring äy—“
“i’m not talking about äyea and you know it.”
his heart dropped, amber eyes slightly widening like he was caught. neteyam searches for more explanation from his sister, kiri softly smiles and he definitely knows who she’s talking about
“y/n, neteyam, i’m talking about y/n.” his skin itches at your name being called and he walks fast to his sister before grabbing her by her arms. nobody has to know, not like this and he won't risk to lose you like this
“look, you can’t tell no one, okay?” he’s shaking his sister so hard that her shoulders are hurting. “i can't lose her, if the clan knows they’ll take her away from me.” his body is trembling, neteyam’s mind was too occupied with the worst scenarios that would happen if they find out about you just like this.
kiri closes her eyes and calms herself before trying to do the same for her brother. “nete, calm down” she places her small hands on his cheek. “you’ve to calm down, for her?” she knew you’re his weakness and he would do anything with your name
“i won’t tell anyone.” kiri watches neteyam’s eyes blink, confused and processing her words, “but you must tell them, everyone, tell everyone neteyam.”
he’s slowly sliding his hands down her arms and letting her go, what is she saying?
“i saw everything, the night she knew about it and how you were.” kiri didn’t want to look like she sneaked into someone's business. “i’ve never seen you so weak like this brother, you’re giving up something that makes you happy.”
where is this going? why is she not yelling at him that he failed to be perfect?
“i know you’re soon to be mated but why when you’re not happy? not wanting it, not in love.” neteyam takes every word of hers carefully. “if this is the future you want with her then make a progress.”
“i’m tired of hearing you cry yourself to sleep, starve yourself and worry mom and dad.” he felt like a child. “i’m sorry,” he murmurs and kiri sighs, “you don’t have to apologize for everything.”
neteyam was feeling his heartbeats quickening at his younger sister's words but it’s also painful when he remembers he can’t do that cause you’re gonna be gone, soon… very soon.
“she’s le-leaving,” his words are cut when his voice quivers, kiri gasps at the news. “she said she feels like she doesn’t belong here.” he’s now looking down to avoid kiri’s eyes or he’ll cry
“she’s leaving me, kiri” his sister only pulls him close to hug him and he drops his body on her, head on her shoulder. “i love her and she’s leaving, i’m losing her.” he wants the pain to end, he’s tired of hurting
“oh brother.” kiri pats his head, even though neteyam was the smartest and perfect to hide his emotions, this was too much. he’s literally crumbling down. “it’ll be okay, everything will be okay.”
“it will be okay, everything will be okay.” your mother pats your hair when you lean on her shoulders and cry. all you do is cry, you feel bad.
you’re debating on leaving everything behind and running to your neteyam but then again there’s his future mate being a wall to your love. “it’ll be over soon when we leave.”
if not soulmates why bound to fall in love and hurt?
eywa was not fair, she’s not fair with her doings and you don’t want it. you want him, you want your man, you want neteyam, you miss him so bad.
the ritual is in two days and you’re not ready to watch them or give them your blessing as a part of a clan. once the ceremony is done you know they’ll go home, you don’t even want to think what they’ll do after that.
they’ll have a fruit of love, a baby in the future… what about you? supposed to move on? no, you can’t do that.
“we’ve got to get ready, my sweet child,” your mother says as she eyes the hammock that sheltered you for years. everything is packed, ready and done.
while you’re struggling to make the pain hurt less, neteyam is struggling to make his heart beat less.
it’s now an eclipse and everyone is ready for dinner, “mom! what’s for dinner?” tuk whines when netyiri brings the bowls and trays at the wooden table. “you’ll see baby” she kneels down to finally join her family.
it doesn’t fail to catch her by surprise when her first born is sat across the right side of the table. “neteyam?” her eyes start to whelm when her son smiles at her, oh how she missed having him around the table to eat with them.
“he’s here just like you want him.” jake says and neteyam nods.
neytiri only lets soft laugh out and places a bowl for him. “eat this, it’ll help you get strength for your training.” she motions him to take his food.
kiri silently watches everyone, a smile painting her lips as she sips on her soup.
“tastes good?” neteyam nervously nods, the only thing he’s thinking is a way to bring up his love topic to them. it wasn’t much late before he’s opening his mouth to speak and lo’ak suddenly interrupted
“dad, mom i ne–…”
“tuk stop doing that, you’ll choke.” lo’ak scolds at his sister and neteyam shuts his lips quick. maybe it’s the right thing not to say anything right now.
“tuk, listen to your brother honey” jake says and turns to neteyam, “what were you saying son?”
neteyam shakes his head, “never mind i’ll talk to you guys later.” he doesn’t ignore how kiri lightly groans when he backs out. “i’ll head inside now.” he rubs his sweaty hands on his thighs and gets back to his feet
“you didn’t even touch your food.” now that’s a lie, he actually scooped two times and ate.
“i ate mom, it’s delicious t-thanks.” he hates when the last word breaks. on eywa he’s so nervous.
kiri was quick to follow his steps when he left and luckily her parents didn't question. she was fast to catch up with her brother and yanks his arms to make him face her, “what was that?” she raises her eyebrows
“what was what?”
“don’t play dumb with me right now.” kiri warns and neteyam clears his throat
“i’m scared okay!” he hissed, “i’m so fucking nervous my skin is crawling to leave my bones.” his sister only rolls her eye, “seriously— we’ve talked about this! not being a little scared ass to be telling them.”
“what happened to that?” she crosses her arms.
“kiri,” he sighs and drops his head down, shoulders easing. “you don’t understand how dangerous this is, what if–“
“what if they hurt her?”
neteyam was awfully silent and that answers her question. “you know mom and dad, they don’t do anything about what you care and love…” kiri slowly stops when neteyam shakes his head
“not them,” it’s not them he’s scared of, it’s äyea’s parents he’s scared of, he knows they would do anything to make their little perfect daughter that matches with him, or whatever they say.
kiri presses her lips to a straight line before clicking her tongue.
this is gonna be a bad idea or the best idea she has ever made and decided to tell him aways. neteyam’s eyes widen when his sister pulls him away from their family, what she’s gonna tell him is the only chance to get you back and win your trust and she’s sure neteyam will do it,
do anything for you.
೫ time skip — mating ritual ceremony
your new outfit makes your curves more defined, way more defined than your usual loin clothes that you wear.
your skin shining smoothly, the leaves barely covering your breast, you looked ethereal with your hair not braided and freely displayed all over your shoulders
“honey, are you ready?”
your mother’s words make you gulp and suck a deep breath. “we must be there early to leave early!” she tells while being in the other room.
you finally check yourself and talk back, “yeah, i’m ready.” you whisper morley to yourself? swallowing the lump on your throat.
“yeah, i’m ready.” neteyam closes his eyes and breaths trying to focus on not messing up everything, he’s not even sure if you’ll show up and some part of him wishes you do show up
extra loincloths and decorations on his body makes him uncomfortable with its weight crushing him down.
netyiri proudly looks at her son’s figure while the kids are outside, “mother.” the sudden call of her name, netyiri answers quickly. “what is it? nervous?”
neteyam gulps down his fear and walks to her, “i love you” netyiri feels her eyes tear up and smile at him, “your mom loves you too, baby.” neteyam envelopes her with a hug and netyiri cries to his shoulder telling him how he’s grown up
“now don’t mess my face up with tears! let’s get you ready there.” it’s time to face reality and wait for his soon to be mate come
when he’s out of his hammock, he’s greeted with his family smiling at him and jake’s proud smile. even half of the clan was standing at his hammock.
“neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan” everyone chants and neteyam feels his inside clench in discomfort. he doesn’t want this if it’s not with you, everything makes him sick. “c’mon son, let’s get you to the trees of voice, your mate is waiting.”
what the fuck, that was what neteyam said inside his head. what does his father mean when he’s gonna meet his mate under the trees of voice? it was all about you and him, neteyam would never mate with some random girl he is set up with in a place with memories filled with yours
neteyam turns to his sister and kiri has the same expression because what is this bullshit?
“nete’ she’s waiting for you.” his mother placed her hand on his back. no, no, no— his own feet are betraying him when he realize he’s walking and the clan opens way for him straight long line created till where he’s supposed to see äyea
you on other hand stand in line with the people and pray under your breath for eywa to give you a strength not to cry or make a scene, especially when they will be bound where you thought you and neteyam would have been
it doesn’t take long when starts to cheer as the future Olo'eyktan starts to get closer and closer.
lo’ak was the first one you saw from the sully families while he’s holding tuk close to him so she won’t get lost in the crowed. “Aeyaeyaeyaeyaye!” the clan yells
neteyam’s eyes keep searching for specific someone which is you, eyes desperately looking for you and feeling more scared and anxious when he can’t figure out your face from the crowd he takes a deep breath
you finally take his figure to your sight and god he was so beautiful.
your breath hitches at his appearance, the dangling material on his forehead making him look more attractive than he already is, you realize it’s so hard to let go of him.
you suck a deep breath when his eyes lands at yours and neteyam halts his pace, confusing everyone for a second. your tears are fast to blur your vision and you blink before looking away from him
his heart cracks when you do look away, you don’t want to see him and he understands
once neteyam passed you, the crowd surrounds him and cheers when he stepped close to where äyea is found.
you hate how your mother looks at you sympathetically while her hands grip yours tighter, “it’ll be over soon” she whispers to you but you shrug her off, only watching things unfold in front of you as your heart breaks
“it will be over soon.” neteyam says to himself
it’s sickening how everyone can’t notice this is not supposedly to happen, kiri’s plan better work or he’ll seriously fuck this ritual up and run away with you.
“son.” äyea’s father greets him and neteyam, bringing his hand to his forehead. “ty’mar, i see you.” he then turns to his soon to be mate’s mother and repeat his actions.
the way äyea was smiling makes your throat hurt from desperately wanting to cry.
‘no, don’t tell her you see her neteyam. please. please.’
äyea softly giggles when neteyam stands in front of her and blush, “neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan” the way she tries to voice out his name makes neteyam feel sick.
“i see you.” she says but neteyam doesn’t bother to say it back making her smile slightly fall.
netyiri also notices how neteyam is acting, what would possibly be bothering him? definitely not everything.
after everyone was introduced to each other, the ceremony began. drinks were served, everyone clapping and dancing to the songs the na’vi’s are singing.
you’re a little far away from the crowd to breath clear air and dry your tears that constantly burn your eyes. your eyes are on neteyam who isn’t enjoy one bit of the ceremony while his soon to be mate squirms and waves her hands up
both of them are sitting on a throne-like wooden chair, both of their parents beside them just say like them.
this is so depressing how awkward and uncomfortable it looks and actually is. you think, brining the drink to your mouth
you didn’t notice the na’vi male sneaking behind you that actually has been staring at you since you joined the crowd in line. “enjoying the party from far doesn’t seem too boring after all.”
you’re now jumping in fear when a breath hits the back of your ear.
“mother eyaw! who the fu–” you scream and stumble in panic, but before you’re falling you feel strong arms hold you on your ground. “shit, I should've announced i came, i’m sorry.”
you’re about to tell him it’s okay and leave when he’s offering his hand for a shake.
“i’m no’xus, by the way.” great, now you’re stuck talking with someone.
“y/n.” you say and turn over to place your drink on the talk flat table looking object, it’s obvious you’re ignoring him and uninterested but he keeps talking
“why’re you not dancing?” the tall na’vi asks and you face him before speaking, “because i don’t want to?” you just want this over and privacy, how hard can it get to understand!?
“mhm,” the male hums, “wanna dance with me?” at his offer, you scoff mentally and realize you’re not getting him away from you soon– before you reject him, a strong glare radiating from far makes your body tingle
it was neteyam, sending glares to the male who was next to you while sitting far away.
you didn’t bother it at first but the way neteyam’s face twists makes your brow raise. why is he bothered? jealous? if no’xus had not cleared his throat, you would’ve forgotten about what he just said.
“look notoxo, i really don’t feel like…” you watch him awkwardly chuckle and correct you.
“it’s no’xus not notoxo.”
“you know what? fuck it, let’s dance.” you’re pulling him to the crowd, maybe it’s the drink or maybe it’s him, it’s neteyam making you do this.
your mother was long gone to where you don’t know, no’xus was just a bonus to get your frustration out and you’re now dancing with him. too occupied to bother, you haven’t noticed how neteyam’s nose are flaring in anger
neteyam watches how you’re dancing and it’s very obvious it’s targeted to get him out of his mind
he is not even listening to äeya and brought himself up from his throne-like seat. rage and anger is in him, this needs to fucking stop or he’ll rip the male’s hand that’s holding you by your waist and moving you sides to side
all of his fear gone when the na’vi’s eyes are on him when he’s stepping down from his seat and walking straight to you
neteyam ignores his father’s call, sight on you and you only. you didn’t notice how he’s dangerously close until no’xus stopped his moving. “what is it?” you’re annoyed when your distracted self is brought back to reality
“put your hands off of her.” it was an order and no’xus looked at him manically. “i’m not fucking repeating myself.” all the na’vi’s are confused, even his parents and äeya’s family.
your body is jerked away from the stranger you just met and you hiss when neteyam tugs you close to him. what is he thinking? in front of everyone? his last words makes the whole omatikaya village gasp and whisper.
“fucking let go of what’s mine and find your own mate.” neteyam scowl’s dangerously.
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how’re we feeling, sweets? are we feeling anxious? excited? invested? spill in the comments cause i love reading your thoughts sjsjsj
also do you guys want a toe curling smut at the end or no? since neteyam is aged up!20 years old in this series, lmk in the comments if you want smut — tag list in the comments &lt;3
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jogetsobsessed · 3 months ago
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One Night - Paul Lahote x reader
She's backkkkk! I know this isn't what you want, however, this survived the great laptop crash of 2024 (unlike the half-finished prophecy pt2 doc). This however is cutie in my opinion and I would be open to writing a part 2 (if anyone wants it). Also, I'm almost to 200 followers which is so crazy? Thank you for all the love!
---------------
“No, no, no, no”, you wailed as you looked at your hands. They were shaking as you clutched the plastic, the plus sign clear as day. Your body slumped down the wall of the bathroom, your body curling into itself as you hit the ground. 
What are you going to do? 
You were young, too young in your life to start thinking about starting a family. It's not even like you were seeing anyone. This whole situation came about after you had a bad day and just wanted to forget. To forget life and all your problems. 
You let yourself have fun, with someone you only kind of knew.  At the time that had seemed like the best plan. You knew of him and had met a few times through your friend Emily. It was better than prowling on some meaningless app that you would just delete the next morning. He was nice to look at, extremely cocky, kind of an asshole to everyone else, but always kind to you. 
The few times you had met Paul Lahote before your night of fun he had never gone out of his way to talk to you but that was okay with you. All the other boys that hung around Emily’s house could be way too much. Just dropping her off after work would lead to you being pulled into a two-hour conversation because none of them knew when to shut up. Paul however would always hover on the porch or somewhere else in your eyeline. He never came up to join the conversation but never left his spot of isolation either. 
So after a bad day at the clinic, Emily invited you back to her place for a drink and you accepted. Emily was your friend, one of the only actual friends you had made since moving to the Forks area six months prior. But you haven't spent much time together outside of work, except for riding to and from the clinic. 
But this shift had been so rough on both of you that you needed to vent to each other and get something in your system to make you forget a little. Cut to hours later neither of you notice her fiance and his friends walking in the house to you and Emily losing it on the couch, clutching your sides from how hard you were laughing. 
It wasn't even the alcohol necessarily, the two of you had split a bottle of wine but that wasn't enough to get you messed up to the point of uncontrollable laughter. No, it was finally being able to relax in good company, let loose and enjoy yourself. 
The boys had just snickered at the two of you, Emily’s fiance ushering them back into the kitchen to give the two of you some space. However, at some point, hunger struck and the kitchen was calling your name. 
Emily had declared nachos as the snack of choice and you couldn't agree more. She had charged through the sea of testosterone while you decided to timidly hug the doorframe, not knowing where to place yourself down. The kitchen was full of Sam’s friends and there wasn't a place to sit. You were thinking of slipping into the kitchen and leaning against the counter while Emily assembled plates of goodness.
That was until a particular tanned-skin boy stood up and very subtly gestured towards the chair. A sudden confidence had taken over you, and you certainly can blame that on the wine. Crossing the room in just a few paces you lower yourself onto the previously occupied seat and join the rowdy group at the table. 
Looking up you gave him a silent look of thanks as he stood, leaning his back against the countertop. He reciprocated a small smirk before returning his attention to the intense game of spoons that the other boys were trying to rope you into. 
After that, the night was a blur. You had played a few rounds of the card game, Emily eventually joining with heaping plates of nachos, placing herself in her fiance's lap. Paul had disappeared momentarily, reappearing with an old wooden stool, sitting directly to your left. 
You tried to focus on everything happening, but it was no use. All you could think about was that simple gesture of kindness. The act of chivalry that no doubt was gonna earn him some teasing from his buddies, which is what made it and him so much more attractive. 
Thoughts of the beautiful man plagued your mind the whole night and when he offered to drive you back home at the end of the night you accepted. He blamed it on the fact that he wouldn't feel right if he let you drive home after drinking, even if it was just a few glasses of wine and that had been hours ago. 
Even though you felt completely sober at this point as it had been hours and you had eaten your fair share of nachos you obliged, how could you pass up the opportunity for one of the most attractive men you had laid eyes on in a long time to drive you home? 
Attractive and chivalrous, two things he had going for him. 
The ride home was nice, the windows rolled down, and your hair flowed in the breeze. He drove smoothly and slowly, taking the winding corners with ease. A song that occupied the radio 24/7 played, and you were in such a state of comfort that you allowed yourself to sing along softly. 
It was weird, you barely knew this man, yet you felt so comfortable around him. Being in his presence was easy. 
Once your headlights illuminated the front of your modest home you felt your heart sink. This was it, your night of bliss was going to end. He threw the truck in park, turning to face where you sat. He opened his mouth, to say what you have no idea because you cut him off before he got the chance to speak. 
“Do you wanna come in?”. 
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That night had been six weeks ago. And since then you hadn't seen or heard from him once. Not that you had reached out much. The last thing you needed was to make things awkward and complicated with a friend of a friend. 
Only now things were gonna have to be awkward and complicated, it was sorta unavoidable. 
Time paused as you sat there on the bathroom floor. Staring at the pinked-capped stick. Part of you wished you hadn't taken the test, even if that would have just avoided the inevitable for a few days, maybe a couple of weeks. 
Your head was reeling as you attempted to comprehend the news. On one hand, you had always wanted to be a mom and had dreamed of it. However part of the dream was a perfect house, a perfect job, and a perfect husband. Someone that loved you and supported you. Having a baby daddy that you hardly knew wasn't exactly in the picture. 
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At some point your body went on autopilot, you picked yourself off the ground and went through the motions of getting ready for the day. You didn't know what you were getting ready to do, you had already called out after you had woken up before the sun to empty your stomach of last night's dinner. 
The brain fog seemed to slightly lift once you were closing your car door, clutching the steering wheel as your life preserver. The pregnancy test in your pocket feels as if it weighs a thousand pounds. 
You felt insane. 
Who were you to go to this man who you barely knew and just throw this information at him, even if he deserved to know? Because this was his burden too. This wasn't an instance of immaculate conception, it took both of you to get into this situation. 
Recalling an earlier conversation with Emily where you had not so subtly asked what Paul did for work you remembered her mentioning the name of the garage. 
Since today simply could not get more insane you decided to embrace the insanity and started the drive towards the reservation. 
You practiced what you were gonna say over and over, but nothing sounded right. 
“Hey, remember me? I'm the girl you slept with once and ghosted, well I'm pregnant”. 
“Paul, remember me? Y/N, yeah so you kinda got me pregnant”. 
“Hey so remember when I told you that you didn't need a condom, well I say dumb things I don't mean when I’m around pretty people”. 
You were so screwed. 
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The parking lot was practically empty because of course, it was. Of course, there wouldn't be enough cars for you to blend in and hide for a little bit to gather your confidence. No besides your car there were only three others, and since you knew that Paul's truck was one of them there was a decent chance that the other two were also employees. The large bay doors of the shop were opening, one of the bays occupied with an old Volvo on the lift. 
Crossing the parking lot, the man of the hour caught your attention. Paul was alone in the garage. Grease and oil covered his hands and forearms as his attention was focused on the car above him. Patting your jacket pocket you made sure your proof was still there. You had only made it about halfway once he spotted you. He did a double take, a minor look of confusion showing. I mean why wouldn't he be confused, you weren't friends and here you were just randomly showing up at his place of business. 
Deciding to pull whatever last shred of confidence you had buried deep down you didn't turn chicken and run back to your car. No, you carried on walking, right up to the edge of his behemoth of a toolbox, slightly leaning on it to gain some support. The nerves make your whole body feel unstable. 
The wrench was abandoned, clattering inside said toolbox and he found a discarded towel that was so dirty it looked like it was only gonna make his hands worse. You couldn't help but study the way his body moved, how he looked in his work clothes, and how his muscles were contracting as he attempted to clean off the grime. Jesus Christ you need to get a hold of yourself, you thought. 
What you didn't notice was he was doing the same to you, looking you up and down searching for a reason as to why you were here. It wasn't until a breeze blew through the garage, that he realized he didn't only smell the dense forest and the various scents of the garage. It carried a faint smell of vanilla and lavender. But it wasn't just that, it was mixed with pine and rosemary. He bristled at the realization, the unique combination meant one thing and one thing only. It had been weeks since he last saw you there’s no way his scent would hang out on you that long unless…
Suddenly nothing else mattered except what you had to say. He wanted to help, to try and make the situation better. So he started to speak, to try and break this ice. But just like you had done weeks prior you beat him to the punch. 
“I’m pregnant”. 
The visible look of relief caused him to calm down, the last thing he wanted in this situation was for you to be stressed out. And the thought of you being so scared to talk to him broke his heart a little bit if he was being honest. 
“Is it mine?”. 
Paul could have ended it all in that moment. Why was he like this? 
He knew it was his, he had definitive proof, and he chose to play the idiot and make the woman who was carrying his child feel worse than she already did. 
“What the hell are you suggesting Paul? Yes it's yours, I wouldn't be telling you if it wasn't”. You crossed your arms across your chest, suddenly feeling extremely vulnerable and exposed. The confidence meter has fully run out. 
“Yeah no yeah. That um makes sense, I’m sorry. That was a real jackass thing to say. Of course you wouldn't tell me if it wasn't mine”. Paul rubbed the back of his neck as he rambled, avoiding eye contact with you. The magic inside of him was screaming at him, his instincts to protect almost taking over what little composure he held. 
He hadn't planned on telling you about the bond you shared. At least not for a while. 
You were still kinda new to town, and it wasn't fair to derail your life because you had decided to be a kind person and drop Emily off just a few weeks after you had moved. The bond had set in that day, as he was leaving Emily’s house and heading out to his truck. His eyes had darted up upon hearing Em’s voice and what he hadn't expected was to almost fall flat on his face. 
Because for a split second, the two of you made eye contact, it was fleeting and you had returned your eyes to your friend immediately. It had meant nothing to you and everything to him. 
Since that day he vowed to protect you but also to not act selfish and to allow you to make your own decisions.  Which is why he couldn't help but feel horrible. He had ruined your life. 
Paul thinks back to that night, running his mind over every minute, had you been drunk? He had only used that as an excuse to drive you home. But if you had been too intoxicated to make coherent decisions he would never forgive himself. 
“Yeah that was a real jackass thing to say”, you sniffled proud of yourself for not bursting out into heavy sobs. Because in all honesty while it felt like a physical blow hearing him question your morals he was handling the situation better than you would have if you were in his position. It was a fair question, you had only slept together once. 
The next few minutes seemed to pass slowly. After standing there basking in the awkward silence he told you to wait a second and walked into the attached office. You did as he said, too nervous to take the opportunity and leave. He returned a few moments later with much cleaner hands and a small smile graced his face. God, how you were growing to love that smile. 
“Boss told me to head out for the day, don't worry I only told him that I need to take a certain pretty girl out to lunch”, he sent you a wink as he slammed the lid on the toolbox down. Your cheeks grew warm at the compliment, even with how pg it was. I mean this man got you pregnant but him calling you pretty had your chest hammering. 
His hand found its way to the small of your back as he walked, ushering you out of the garage so he could lower the bay door. Once it was down he turned to face you with a smirk replacing the kind smile from earlier. 
“Come on doll, looks like I gotta feed my baby mama”. He howled with laughter as the small tinge of red on your cheeks turned into your whole face going crimson. “Oh this is gonna be fun”, he said through his laughs. 
His warmth on your skin brought you back to that state of peace that you remembered so fondly. You let him lead you towards his truck, thanking him as he shut your door. 
As Paul jogged to the driver's side a smile fought against the smirk. This wasn't how he pictured everything going but he wasn't mad. It wasn't like he got some random girl pregnant, no he got you pregnant. And while you may believe that you were just a random girl to him that was not how he felt. But he wasn't going to tell you that, at least not right now. The last thing he wanted to do was stress you out even more than you already were. 
So he was going to wait. 
He could learn to be content with you being in his life as a girlfriend, or even just the mother of his child. And when the time was right he would tell you.
But for now, he could wait.
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luvyeni · 2 months ago
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( reaction ) yandere enha when they find you ! ୨୧ 一 엔하이픈 ՞
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⸃ ⸰ ⌁ enhypen finding you after you run away ヾ
yandere!엔하이픈 hyungline・ fem!reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ horror ‎, angst ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ ‎stalking , kidnapping , threats wc ・ ‎n/a ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library
request. another request my dumb ass deleted ◉⁠‿⁠◉ ...
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 i hope you like it <3
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﹙ 𐙚 : heeseung﹚ .ᐟ
he knew were you were the entire time; i've said this many of times , heeseung is crazy and he loves to play crazy mind games — games such as making a fake a dating account just to find you and match with you. he will literally wait it out , swipe through as many girls as he had to until he found you. you were excited to get back into dating , the guy you were talking to was completely different to heeseung , getting ready for your first date with him , everything felt like a breath of fresh air. at the restaurant you were looking down at your phone , not noticing the familiar sitting down with that crazy smile. “is that anyway to greet your date?” your eyes shot up. “hee-heeseung?” your voice shaking as you see him holding his phone — with the account of the guy on the screen. “did you really think you could run away from me?” he laughed , your eyes began to tear up.
“no don't cry baby, we'll still have a good night before i take you home and give you your welcome home gift.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jay﹚ .ᐟ
a serious inconvenience for him , he gives you everything and you dare leave him? okay that's fine , he'll let you have your fun , he won't even cancel the credit card he gave you , because that's exactly how he was gonna catch you. he waited until you order a purchase offline , and he was able to get the details to your new apartment a month later — normally he'd just send his guys to come get you ,but this time he wanted to be the one to drag you back home. “j-jay.” you saw the man in the suit standing in your door. “you try and run away from me , but you use the card i pay for to make your stupid little purchases. “jay please.” he doesn't want to hear it. “you've cause so much trouble already, people are already talking about how I can't control you.”
“now let's go, I'll have someone come and pack your shit.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jake﹚ .ᐟ
it was basically a miracle that jake was still alive , he barely did anything since you left , he only ate to stay alive , he only showered just in case you walked through the door. it had been two months since you left him , yelling how much you hated him before running out the door , leaving the sobbing boy on the floor. he was fully ready to take his life — but almost as if god was on his side , you come walking out of your favorite store. you had finally felt safe enough to go out and shop , jake hadn't tried to call you , of course you tried not to worry if he actually did end it all but you never got a call. you walk right past jake , you didn't even notice him that's how different he looked. jake followed you home , all the way up to your door , where he finally runs up to you. “yn!” he shouted. “yn why'd you leave me?” you try to open the door, but the look in his eyes. “j-jake.”
“please come home , i don't know how much longer i can do it without you.”
﹙ 𐙚 : sunghoon﹚ .ᐟ
sunghoon was too impulsive to let you go on for more than a month , so you quite literally have to go into hiding , never leaving your apartment; even moving from the apartment he knew about to another one , one you thought he'd never find — boy how wrong you were. still held up in your apartment , constantly looking at the door. one day you finally feel a little a peace , not enough to leave, but enough to order your favorite food. you heard a knock , which makes you get up and go towards it. you still check the camera you installed and what you see outside makes your blood run cold. “hi baby.” the boy bangs on the door. “i found you.” he said. “sung-sunghoon.” you stuttered out. “don't dare pick up that phone and call anyone.” he said , leaning closer to the camera. “you moved but your parents haven't.”
“now open the door if you love them.”
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©LUVYENI
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billythesimp · 5 months ago
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Could I request headcanons for ZZZ Billy, Wise, and Lycaon reacting to his shy gn crush confessing to him please?
Another late-night writing session, another cilent.
[sips my coffee]
Eh- too much sugar... good.
Heartfelt Confessions
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⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎…
I may have done this a little wrong, but I wrote it in the sense of that they boys where enamored with the gn!insert. That they had a crush on them yet the insert confessed to them. I hope I got that right!
Billy / Wise / Lycaon x Shy-Gn!reader
𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡…⋙
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tw: none?
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✦ I’ll be honest, this would probably go over his head at first. Billy is familiar with their mannerisms and is always patient with them. After all, he just adores how they stumble over their worlds when they wish to comment on anything their cute mind is thinking over. So Billy is just standing there, looking at them as they gather their thoughts and admit their growing affects to them. Yet he’s too focused on the dewy glaze over their eyes when they shyly look up at him, the subtle pout on their lips where he could only dream to feel on his face-plates.
✦  But after some moments of quiet and Billy finally registering what it is they said, he’s baffled and exclaiming why someone so amazing- a beacon of joy and pure innocence, a being that anyone would be more than blessed to have been in the presence of when they flash their most radiant smile- would ever like the likes of him! Believe me, if his long pause of silence from before startled them nervous, his own sudden confession made them embarrassed as he’s practically screaming how amazing they are.
✦ But they assure him that they’ve always admired and shortly grew to love his flaws and perfections. That he made them feel safe and how he made them laugh when times grew grim, that he is always too patient and understanding and that no matter what he was told, they’d only see the real him. The person who cheers up a friend, a person who is passionate about the interests of his colleague, a person who is strong and steps up for others who can’t themselves. Billy could feel his gears and joints ache in the need to collapse as their words come out confident and true, wanting to be a mere puddle beneath their feet. Needless to say, he happily accepted after making another scene which only made them more embarrassed.
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✦ His crush has been working part-time at the store with them, always helping them out with returns and promotional materials. So when Belle left to run some errands and it was just them two, Wise was shocked at first when they asked to speak with him in private. So in the staff room, they rushed out their confession that Wise was worried that they could have bitten their tongue and tried to calm them down.
✦ He holds their arms gently and tells them that it’s alright and how he’s nothing but happy to hear this. He’ll admit, he’s known about their affections for a while after all he’s Wise, cunning and sharp with attention to details. That and while he won’t admit it, Belle has at times helped him figure out if they really do like him. The teasing she and Eous gave him, if word got out to you he’d probably die there and now. Maybe he should have gone through Fairy and see to it that any camera recording of the incident be deleted.
✦ Seeing as he all accepted their confess, they smile happily before he pulls them into a tight hug, heart beating as he finally could do all the things he wanted now that they knew he liked them- no, cherished their affect and love. He couldn’t wait to bombard them with the soft touches, lingering kisses and teasing whispers that he has held back out of respect and belief that they were nothing more than just friends, co-workers, allies. That is, if they would be mentally ready as he notices how fidgety and flushed they became at the simple gesture of affection. Yeah, he’ll go slow with them for sure, but he was nothing but excited.
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✦ Lycaon cares dearly for his proxy and always attempts to keep things professional between the two. However, it proves difficult when they always depend on them when working together, always seeking him out and giving him the time of day while others probably wouldn’t. He holds them closely to his heart, so anytime they call on him, he’s at attention and can’t help but have to hold back the need to kneel before them and pledge loyalty there. Which would have made them more nervous and flushed when they ask about what they are.
✦ Of course, they’ve noticed his attention to detail in their mannerism and how he’s always stepping up to help them should they grow to shy to order or help solve their problem they thought dumb and meaningless. They are scared of ruining this little bond of theirs, but Von could only assure them that their feelings are true, that he would be an idiot should he not accept their confession as he too has nothing but love filled for them. He compromised that they’ll still hold a professional work relationship but in private, he’d want nothing more than to be theirs.
✦ The way they blush and start fidgeting with a strand of hair, he hadn’t noticed how his tail swayed happily despite the calm and clear demeanor he displayed. The mere motion made them only awe at how cute he was, taking his gloved hand as he lifted it towards his muzzle. The lightest of kisses on the back of their hand, skin warmed at the touch as he only stares with those dark red eyes of his. Piercing as to say they were his as he is theirs, a bond stronger than human- one of the beast and their tamer.
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lightsoutletsgo · 9 months ago
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love letters; dear... — cl.16 (part 1/2)
pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader
word count: 2.1k
warnings: angst, descriptions of breakups and heavy emotions, bad screenshots??
love letters; with love from... (part 2)
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2024
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♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧
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♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧
You sighed, throwing your phone down and leaning back into the couch. Who knew a public breakup could be so exhausting? You scoffed as your phone lit up once more, his name appearing at the top of the screen as the big ‘decline call’ button grew ever more appealing. “Y/N?” The voice of your manager grabbed your attention and your head whipped to look at her as she stood in the doorway of your home studio, “I thought I told you to block his number?” A tight smile pulled at your lips, “I guess it’s harder than I thought?” She sighed, crossing the room to take a seat next to you, “Honey… You don’t want or need anyone like that in your life. You don’t need him… or her…” Your heart clenched, her words striking a chord with you. Finding out at a public dinner that your boyfriend was leaving you for your best friend after he’d been seeing her and sleeping with her behind your back for a year was not the most fun experience. Your manager placed her hand over the top of yours and squeezed gently, “You know you’re allowed to cry about it right?” You gave her a pointed look, “Crying about it won’t help me write songs will it?” She stared back at you, one eyebrow arching upwards as if she wasn’t impressed with what she was hearing, “You are kidding right?” “No?” “Jesus kid…” She sighed, “You’re not a machine… you gotta let yourself be sad… Let the songs come when they come… You’re only hurting yourself more…” 
You looked away from her, eyes casting a glance downwards to your lap as tears filled your vision but you hastily blinked them away. You thought for a moment and your voice was quiet when you replied, “I’m scared that if I start crying, I won’t ever stop.” She inhaled deeply and you didn’t dare look at her, “I think that’s understandable, you’re going through what’s essentially two break-ups right now.” You gave a forced breathy laugh, “Lucky me!” She squeezed your hand once more before standing up, “I’m going to tell the studio guys that you’re not available today. You’re not to be disturbed all day.” Your head shot up to look at her, “Wait. What?” Her face was serious as she looked as you, “Today, you just feel.” You nodded slowly, she wasn’t giving you a choice, “Besides, you write your best songs when you feel deeply…” With one hand on the door she turned back to you, “I’m only a call away if you need me!”  You nodded gratefully and with that she was closing the door quietly behind her and you were alone with your thoughts again. 
Picking up your phone once more, you deleted all texts and voicemails from both her and him. You turned your notifications off and went to spotify. If you were going to cry, the least you could do was give yourself a good soundtrack. Scrolling through playlist after playlist, nothing seemed quite right. All the breakup playlists you clicked on were either your own songs or angry songs, and you weren’t quite at that stage yet. With a sigh you changed your search to ‘sad hours’. Spotting a playlist with an aesthetic looking angsty cover, you noticed that all the songs added were instrumental. That was more like it. You pressed play and inhaled, turning the music up and allowing it to wash over you, allowing yourself to be carried by the flow, the dynamics, the melodies and harmonies. You let it tug at your heartstrings, let it act as a soundtrack to the memories that flashed in your head and yet, the tears still did not fall. 
Almost crying with frustration, you moved from the couch to the floor, sinking down and resting your head back on the couch. The song changed and suddenly it was like a switch had been flipped. The tears came thick and fast as finally, finally, you allowed yourself to break. Huge sobs wracked your body as the music rose in a crescendo, thoughts of him filling your head; how he’d held your hand, the way he’d kissed you, the way he said your name, how he stared at you. With each thought you cried harder, mourning for the relationship you’d lost and the parts of yourself that had gone missing with it. As the strings took over the melody, it was like your thoughts moved from him to her. Your chest felt heavy and tight as you struggled to breathe. Was this what heartbreak felt like? Your chest felt like it was cracking, vision completely blurred by the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. Wasn’t crying supposed to make you feel better? Then why did you feel like you’d never stop? Why did you feel so much pain? As the song came to climax and the last notes resonated and hung in the air you couldn’t help the way you hit replay. 
The song washed over you again and again like a comforting touch. It was a gentle soothing balm for your aching heart. As the song repeated, the tears gradually subsided and eventually the exhaustion took over. Not even bothering to move, you stayed on the floor, laying your head down and letting sleep take you under, at least there you wouldn’t feel that all consuming pain in your chest. 
When you woke up, it felt like something was sitting on your chest. You winced as you opened your eyes, feeling how sore they were from crying and you dreaded to think how bloodshot they looked. Slowly pushing yourself to sit up, you grabbed your head and hissed as it throbbed and ached. You picked up your phone to look at the time. You’d been asleep for an hour. You noticed your phone hadn’t stopped playing that track the entire time. Growing curious about the piece of music and the composer responsible for helping with your emotional release you opened your phone, heading straight to their spotify profile. 
‘Charles Leclerc’ Interesting name. You scrolled past the few small recordings that he had released and went straight to his bio. You’d never heard of this guy before but you’d never been touched by music that way before. Scan-reading his bio you noted that it wasn’t even his main profession. Unable to help yourself, you began googling. You learned he was Monegasque and that he was a Formula One driver, that he drove for Ferrari and that he’d had his own fair share of heartbreak and grief. You thought it was sweet that he’d explored music later on in life and you were impressed with the way he played with form and structure of his pieces. Throughout the week, you found yourself coming back to his music again and again whenever you needed comfort or needed to cry. It was cathartic the effect it had on you. And you found that as you listened to his music and the more time you spent sitting with yourself, the easier the songs came to you. 
♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧
You weren’t sure how, when or why the thought had first occurred to you, but as you sat in your home studio, months after that initial breakdown, you had the sudden urge to contact Charles. He had no clue who you were, well at least not personally, but he had helped you through one of the worst periods of your life and you knew you wouldn’t have been able to finish the album without him, even if he wasn’t aware of the impact he’d had on you. Psyching yourself up with a deep breath you grabbed your phone and opened instagram. You searched for his account, finding him easily. Your finger hovered over the follow button but you shook your head and decided against it, you didn’t need to add fuel to the fire. Besides, you hadn’t even spoken to him yet. You sent him a DM request and hoped for the best. 
♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧♪₊ ⊹♬˚₊‧
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y/nsworld
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Liked by charles_leclerc, sabrinacarpenter and 22,982,703 y/nsworld surprise !! "words I wish I had said" is now available on streaming platforms worldwide! this album has been a journey of heartbreak, self-discovery and healing. I've spent months in the studio, both with friends and alone, pouring my heart and soul into each song and I hope you can all feel it. while this album focuses on heartbreak, there are also some songs that are very close to my heart that have been in the vault for a little while now. I know that for some people they will resonate deeply and I hope they bring comfort. I see you and I love you 🤍 thank you to my management for being supportive as ever, my fans for being beyond patient while waiting for new music and my friends for holding; my hands, many boxes of tissues, my drinks on drunken nights out to forget him and most importantly the pieces of my heart while I got ready glue them back together - I am eternally grateful to each and every one of you, now and always. "you'll be okay" all my love, Y/N 🎀
(also thanks to my ex-bf and ex-bsf for providing me with inspiration, without you this album wouldn't exist xoxo)
View all 45,730 comments sabrinacarpenter I cannot even begin to say how proud I am Comment liked by y/nsworld ⤷ y/nsworld I love you so much 🤍
zendaya you've done it again babe! beautiful soul, beautiful album Comment liked by y/nsworld ⤷ y/sworld thank you for all the late night calls to help me through it 🫶🏼
y/nloverrrr WTF?! SHE JUST DROPPED AN ALBUM LIKE THAT? 🧍‍♀️ ⤷ y/nmusic I CAN'T DECIDE IF I LOVE HER OR HATE HER FOR IT 😭
ferrarifannn okay but "best friend breakup" i just know this one is gonna HURT ⤷ f1fann her vocals in the chorus? "always thought that it'd be love, that was gonna mess me up" ⤷ y/nicon "didn't think it'd hurt this much, when best friends break up"
charles_leclerc you're top of all my playlists 🤪 Comment liked by y/nsworld ⤷ y/nsworld I would hope so 🤭 ⤷ lalaleclerc I- sir? what are you doing here? 😭 ⤷ y/nf1fan EXCUSE ME? WTF? ⤷ y/nmusic since when did they know each other?
musiclover THE CAPTION PLS TELL ME Y'ALL SEE WHAT I'M SEEING AT THE BOTTOM 😭 ⤷ leclerclove she's fucking iconic 🥹 the "xoxo" had me-
y/n.updates CAN WE TAKE A MINUTE FOR "FEEL GOOD"? THAT SONG FUCKING BROKE ME 😭 ⤷ y/nismylove "I'm sorry I'm still not at home in body, I just wanted someone to want me. who sees me as more than just funny" ⤷ charlesandcarlos I fucking SOBBED the whole way through ⤷ yn/wardrobe it breaks my heart that she feels like this but at the same time she's written my comfort song as a result 😭🥺
lewishamilton you never miss! forever proud of you 💜 Comment liked by y/nsworld ⤷ y/nsworld thank you lew! miss you 🥺🫶🏼 ⤷ lewishamilton just let me know the time and place and I'll be there ⤷ y/nsworld I'm texting you rn! ⤷ f1fannn wait hUH? ⤷ lewisfann I'm so confused 😭 how do they know each other? ⤷ y/nmusic lewis collaborated on one of her earlier albums with the name xnda! they've been super close ever since
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1K notes · View notes
noira-l · 1 month ago
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𝙱𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛
𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: Caught between the echoes of a love that once felt unshakable and the shadow of someone Satoru can’t let go, you’re left wondering if you’ve become invisible to the man you gave everything to. As the cracks in your bond deepen, you question whether love is enough — or if it’s time to let go of what’s already gone. How do you hold on when it feels like he already let go?
𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 — satoru gojo x gn reader (mentioning satosugu)
𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 — angst
𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 — heavy angst, relationship problems, lack of communication, fading love (?)
𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 — 2,8 k
𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 — I don't know if this will appeal to anyone, it's quite bittersweet and not necessarily healthy. It's literally bitter and not good. This short text has been sitting in my archive for a long time so I decided to publish it at last, at most I will delete it. Though I wish to thank everyone who took the time to read it.
𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝
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You don't know what tempted Satoru to offer you a date back then.
You now think he shouldn't have done it.
You can’t remember the last time you felt truly happy. Not fleetingly, not a passing moment of contentment, but deeply, unwaveringly happy.
The school was quiet at this hour, the echoes of its usual noise reduced to silence. You sat at the farthest desk, one leg tucked beneath you, cradling a cup of coffee between your hands. The bitter aroma rose in faint wisps, mingling with the faint scent of chalk and old wood.
The blackboard was still marked with yesterday's equations, half-erased but lingering - much like the traces of your emotions, half-faded yet stubbornly present. You traced the rim of your mug with your finger, your thoughts swirling as aimlessly as the coffee.
It had been a long time since Suguru left. Back then, everything had felt raw and unbearable, the sting of betrayal fresh in the air. And yet, in the aftermath, you and Satoru had grown closer in ways that felt inevitable.
It wasn’t something you consciously decided, knowing how to approach Satoru. It was instinctual, like the way you’d always been able to read the air in a room or pick up on the subtle shifts in someone’s mood. With Satoru, though, it was more than just intuition - it was understanding. A deep, unspoken bond that had grown stronger with time.
You always seemed to know when to come and talk, even when no one else dared. On those rare days when his usual cocky grin faltered, when the sparkle in his eyes dimmed just enough for someone paying attention to notice, you were there.
Sometimes it was at the vending machines, where he leaned heavily against the metal, his lanky frame somehow looking smaller than usual. You’d saunter up with a casual air, your hand already fishing for coins.
"Need a sponsor for your sugar addiction today?" you’d tease lightly, holding up so his eyes peeked over the rims, something flickering in the pale blue that spoke of exhaustion he’d never admit to.
"Nah." he’d reply, running a hand through his hair as if to brush away whatever weight was pressing on him "I’ve got this one. Wouldn’t want you thinking I’m a charity case."
But you’d stay, letting the silence between you stretch just long enough to be comforting, not awkward. You’d watch as he punched in the code for some brightly colored soda, the machine whirring noisily before the can clattered down. Without a word, he’d grab a second one, tossing it to you with an easy grin.
"Payment for standing there and looking cute." he’d say, back to his usual self, but there was gratitude in his tone, unspoken but clear.
There were other times, though, when he needed more than a soda and some banter. Like the evenings after particularly rough missions, when he’d show up at your door unannounced, his hair a mess, his shoulders tense. You’d let him in without a word, offering him your couch and a cup of tea, because somehow you just knew that tonight wasn’t the night for jokes. He’d sit there, cradling the cup in his hands but not drinking, staring blankly at the wall as if he were somewhere else entirely. You’d sit beside him, not too close, just close enough for him to know you were there. And when he finally spoke - his voice low, his words heavy - you’d listen. Really listen. You never interrupted, never offered solutions unless he asked. Sometimes he’d talk for hours, his sentences disjointed and rambling, and sometimes he’d only manage a few broken phrases before falling silent again.
When he needed rationality and logic, you were ready with facts and plans, gently nudging him back to a place where things felt manageable.
When he needed humor, you’d crack jokes, your timing always impeccable, drawing out a laugh even on the worst days.
And when he needed affection - though he’d never say it outright -you gave it freely. A hand on his shoulder, a hug that lasted just a little longer than usual, a touch that reminded him he wasn’t alone.
So when he offered you a date, you agreed.
And when he asked if you would become his partner, you were in heaven.
Back then, he was just Satoru to you. Not the invincible sorcerer everyone else saw, but a boy with too much energy and a habit of getting powdered sugar all over his shirt when he ate donuts. A boy who, for all his teasing, could lean against a wall and talk about Digimon for hours with an enthusiasm so pure it made you fall even harder. A boy who, when you had a bad day, would wordlessly pass you a soda with a cartoonish wink, somehow knowing that was all you needed.
First year was magic. Satoru was charming, generous, and, despite his flaws, someone you loved wholly.
He’d take you to convenience stores late at night, pointing out the most absurd snacks with an exaggerated pitch to his voice, pretending to be a food critic. He'd tease you endlessly at vending machines, pressing every button until the machine threatened to short-circuit, just to make you laugh. Once, he'd insisted on racing you through a grocery aisle, your cart stacked precariously high with ramen and energy drinks. You'd lost, of course, but his cackling laughter had made losing feel like winning.
But slowly, the boy you loved had begun to feel more like an idea. A projection. A shadow of something that wasn’t meant for you.
Four years went by.
You remember what it was like to be young.
Set on everything with determination and a willingness to fix thing. Back then you had the strenght to do it, back then you wanted it.
Now that you're older, you don't have the strenght for it.
Obligations, bills, work and life - everything is weighing you down. Nanami was right when he said that small despairs make you an adult.
And you have a relative abundance of them.
It's no longer about the responsibilities themselves, because you're able to handle that easily, but about the fact that things are no longer the way they were.
You squeeze your cup tighter.
You won't last like this for much longer.
Lately, nothing feels the same. There’s a hollowness, like the echo left behind when all the love you poured into something spills out for nothing. Joy has become elusive, a bittersweet phantom haunting you, like the sugary snacks you occasionally buy to share with Satoru. Those treats, so deceptively sweet, leave a bitter aftertaste that lingers on your tongue and in your heart.
You don’t know when it started to fall apart. Maybe it was never whole to begin with - just a beautiful facade waiting to show its true colors.
Satoru has always been a man of revelations, each one peeling back another layer of who he is. Over the years, you’ve seen both his brilliance and his shadows. Yet, in all of his contradictions, there is one constant he’s shown you: his faithfulness.
The tragedy lies in its direction.
Because Satoru’s faithfulness has never been to you.
Not truly.
You can’t compete with the ghost of his best friend - the same best friend who set a village ablaze, who shattered Satoru with his final words, and whom Satoru has never stopped loving.
It wasn’t obvious at first. The truth revealed itself in fragments, like shards of glass glittering in the aftermath of a wreck. It began innocuously, in the quiet of your shared nights. The first time you crossed that invisible line and slept with each other, you heard him murmur a name in his sleep. Suguru. At first, you thought it was a nightmare. Satoru told you he had them often, and you believed him. But then, one night, you heard something different. A whisper, soft and reverent "Love you."
And then, as though to leave no doubt - "Suguru."
He never used that words for you.
You dismissed it, telling yourself that dreams are strange and inexplicable things.
But as the months passed, you began to notice things that your infatuation had blinded you to before.
Satoru, who could talk endlessly about himself, rarely asked you anything of substance. Sure, he might throw out a casual "How was your day?" now and then, but he never delved deeper. Never asked about your thoughts, your passions, your dreams. You told yourself it was just his nature - that he was too talkative to stop and listen. Yet, you remembered how he used to ask Suguru about everything. Suguru’s favorite soda. His opinion on Digimon. Every little thing.
But you? He never bothered to know you like that.
Even his touch, once comforting, felt distant. Satoru was happy to drape an arm around your shoulders or hug you playfully. But the moment you reached for him—tried to touch him with intention—he’d pull away, as if the intimacy was too much. Once, you rested your head against his shoulder while he scrolled through his phone. He tensed, made an excuse, and shifted just far enough away that the moment dissolved into awkwardness.
Slowly, the cracks grew wider. You began to scrutinize every word, every gesture, every gift. His presents, once a delight, now felt hollow. They lacked thought or care—impersonal trinkets that might as well have been for anyone. When you finally mustered the courage to mention it, his response stunned you.
He shrugged "Suguru would’ve appreciated it."
He thought you hadn’t heard.
You started to wonder if you were a placeholder - a convenient balm for the gaping wound Suguru had left behind. A temporary shelter where he could rest and heal, before moving on to something, someone, better.
You sighed, taking a sip of your coffee. It was bitter. Fitting.
Then there were the other signs. The way his conversations always circled back to Suguru - his laugh, his thoughts, his preferences. You started noticing how little he asked about you. Your opinions, your likes and dislikes, your dreams - none of it seemed to interest him the way Suguru’s had. You once mentioned your favorite book, and he’d brushed it off, saying "Suguru liked that one too."
He didn’t even ask why you loved it.
The bitterness grew, but you pushed it down. You tried harder. You gave more.
But no matter how much you gave, it was never enough.
You thought back to the time you’d tripped on the stairs while carrying boxes of documents. Shoko and Utahime had rushed to help, their concern evident.
Satoru, though? He’d stood at the top of the stairs, grinning like it was all a game, like you weren’t trying to swallow back tears while the girls helped you up.
"Clumsy as ever, huh?" he’d said, the words cutting in a way they hadn’t been meant to.
You’d laughed too, a weak, hollow sound, as Shoko steadied you and whispered "He’s an idiot."
Or the time on the bike trip, when he’d sped ahead, leaving you struggling at the back. When you finally caught up at the end, breathless and frustrated, he’d ruffled your hair and said "Took you long enough, you're so slow, come on!."
Or one evening, you were carrying a stack of documents from the archives to another building, your arms straining under the weight. You work in the archives at the school. Satoru happened to be passing by and stopped to watch you struggle, his hands casually tucked into his pockets.
"Need a hand?" he asked, a teasing smile playing on his lips.
Relieved, you nodded, expecting him to take some of the load. Instead, he laughed and said "You’re stronger than you look, you’ve got this!" before walking away.
It wasn’t until Ijichi came to help you minutes later that you realized how much the interaction stung.
You clenched your jaw at the memory, your fingers tightening around the cup.
You couldn't perceive it as teasing, not after what you had seen before. It started to hurt you, each remark he made cut your heart ever more. You know he doesn’t mean to hurt you. Satoru isn’t cruel. But he’s careless in a way that cuts deeper than deliberate malice ever could.
You tried to talk to him. Over and over.
You had tried to talk to him, to bridge the growing gap between you. You told him how you felt, how his actions made you feel invisible, unloved. He always apologized, always promised to do better.
He would tell you: "I'm an idiot sometimes.", "You know I care about you.", "You know I love you, right?"
Did you?
And sometimes he did - for a little while. But it never lasted.
And the worst part is, there are still days when he surprises you again - when he remembers something small about you, or when he wraps you in an embrace so warm and genuine it almost makes you believe things could go back to the way they were. Those moments used to be sweet. Now, they’re bittersweet, tainted by the knowledge that they’re fleeting.
You started to think you were a burden to him.
Eventually, you stopped trying. You poured yourself into your work, into the routines that kept your mind busy and your heart numb. You distanced yourself, hoping that if you stopped caring, it would hurt less.
It didn’t.
You get the feeling that he's changed a bit, that he's noticed some of his mistakes and is trying to work on them. You can thank your friends who have tried hard to talk to him. You know this because you once overheard a conversation between Satoru and Shoko, where the latter stood up for you saying that he should pay attention to you more often.
You know that Satoru has very little time on his hands, you've never admonished or whined or complained to him or anyone either, not wanting to come off as bad or ungrateful by looking at how hard Satoru works sometimes.
After a long time of trying to pick up the gauntlet and trying to repair your relationship, you gave up. You didn't know how to try anymore, you gave up.
So you did the only right thing. You distanced yourself, emotionally and physically.
You took on work, you took on as much as you could to not think about it, you didn't start conversations with him yourself anymore, you didn't go anywhere with him anymore. You refused to go out to focus on your work, Shoko and Utahime noticed it too, they asked how you were and if you were okay, you always answered yes and just got on with your work, but everyone saw what was going on.
Everyone saw how your face, expression and tone changed when Satoru was next to you. You think everyone saw how sad and bitter your eyes were when Satoru embraced you or tried to revive atomsfere.
You wondered if he even noticed it, but you probably know the answer pretty well. He still treated you the same way. He would come to you at work and tell you what he was up to. Out of politeness you would answer something to him, sometimes you would ask a question just to avoid silence.
So now you're sitting here, in class, alone. Like every morning, drinking your work coffee.
These mornings sometimes differ.
Sometimes you don't say anything, your face made of stone, you're somewhere far away in your memories, looking for where it all went down.
Sometimes you shed a few tears that disappear into the wood of the school desk. Sometimes you even sob a little longer.
And sometimes, like now, you wear a smile on your face, pretending it doesn't hurt at all. You tell yourself that you have to accept it, that you've tried everything and he's just like that.
You pretend that now - eveything is okey.
The kicker?
You're sure he's not even going to do anything about it. That he won't do anything about the fact that you have distanced yourself from him. Though now you even wonder if he sees it at all. Does he even care, at all.
Maybe this was just what love turned into - a slow erosion of what once was, leaving behind something unrecognizable.
The door creaked open, and you stiffened, hastily wiping at your eyes.
Satoru stepped in, his ever-present grin faltering slightly when he saw you.
"Hey." he said, his voice light but tentative "Thought I’d find you here."
You forced a smile, the weight of your mask settling over you like a familiar friend "Morning," you said, your tone even.
He sat down beside you, leaning back in his chair with a casualness that felt too practiced "I brought you something," he said, pulling out a small paper bag.
You opened it to find a box of sweets. The wrong ones. Again.
"Thanks." you murmured, setting the bag aside.
Satoru frowned, his gaze searching your face "You okay?"
"Yeah." you said still smiliing, the lie slipping out as easily as it always did.
And like always, he accepted it without question.
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