#i want to get my master's but i also feel like if i don't then i'm wasting something

[motorsportbarbie13]

Aftermath - Chapter 2

When Lando leaves you heartbroken after you get tired of trying to make nothing into something for far too long, Max steps in to help you pick up the pieces.

warnings: this chapter contains language and descriptions that illustrate abuse (mental and emotional). lando is abusive, full stop but like many survivors of abuse, it takes reader a bit to claw herself out of this. as a survivor of abuse myself, I am doing my best to give this story line the most respect and care that i can. please don't engage with my work if you find any of the topics triggering. my sincerest apologies for not putting this in the warnings at first. lando is, once again, an absolute asshole in this. sorry bubs. swearing. i'd also like to point out that this is a character i am writing, i in no way am insinuating or implying the real lando is like this in any way. pairing: max verstappen x leclercsister!reader word count: 4k

Chapter 1 Master List

“You didn’t have to walk me home, you know. It’s only a few blocks.” You tell Max as you press into his side, shivering against the cold breeze of the Monaco night. It had been warm when you left the apartment earlier that evening but now the air held a chill that had you wishing you had taken Carles up on his offer to drive you back home. 

Around you, the city buzzes, a hive of activity on a Friday night but the extent of your world consists of only you and Max. 

“Of course I did. It’s late and cold and there was no way you were walking home alone.” 

“Max, we live in Monaco, I’m perfectly safe.” You joke but secretly, you’re glad Max had offered to walk you home. 

You’d never admit it but you liked being around him, his demeanor had always been calming to you and tonight, your nerves were frayed more than usual. It was probably thanks to the whispers you had heard at the gallery, asking not so quietly where Lando was as you walked around and spoke to the guests. He had never showed up and while you were disappointed he hadn’t showed, you weren’t quite surprised either. There had been something in his tone when you left that evening that had anxiety curling your gut before you even stepped out of the apartment. You hated to even think it, but you somewhat suspected he had never planned on showing up to the show at all that night but you wouldn’t ever put a voice to those thoughts.   

“Fine then.” Max huffs, but there’s no venom in his voice. “Maybe I just wanted to spend some extra time with you, okay? I feel like we never see each other anymore.” Max lets the unsaid end of that sentence hang in the air: ‘Because you’re with Lando now.’  

Your heart aches at the truth of his words. A lot of your friendships had taken a hit over the last three years. You hadn’t meant for it to happen, but your circle had shrunk significantly since you had started dating Lando and it shocked you how you never had realized it until now. It had started small, with Lando saying he just wanted to spend the weekend only with you while he had a rare weekend off and then slowly morphed into him only wanting to spend time with his friends so if you wanted to see him you had to spend what little time you got with him with his friends as well. Slowly, your friends stopped calling and inviting you places because the answer was always the same: ‘sorry, Lando has plans this weekend and I’m going to tag along with him!’ Or just a straight up ‘no, not this time.’ 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, biting your lip as guilt creeps up your neck. “It’s been a rough year.” 

Max hates the regret that courses through him. He shouldn’t make you feel like this, shouldn’t voice his opinion of what he sees happening in front of him. He can’t help the frustration that bubbles to the surface when you talk like that though. He knows exactly where it comes from and it kills Max knowing that there is one person solely responsible for dimming that sparkle you’ve always had. 

Max stops in the middle of the sidewalk, causing a few tourists to shout in surprise when they have to dodge the Dutchman’s tall frame. A frown finds itself onto his face as he looks down at you. Your heart stutters to a stop, you’ve seen this look before and it has the hairs on the back of your neck prickling. 

“I hate when you do that.” He can’t help himself, he’s kept his peace for far too long but the fact that  Lando missed tonights show has been burning a hole in his chest all night and the embers were about to flare to life. 

Panic squeezes at your chest. Around you, people are shooting glances your way as you both stand in the middle of the crowded sidewalk. You only have a few moments before someone notices it is you and Max Verstappen and start taking pictures. Pictures that will inevitably show up on some gossip instagram account and cause you more trouble than they’re worth. 

“Do what?” Despite your desire to not be seen arguing with Max, you can’t help the question that slips out. 

“When you apologize for things that aren’t your fault. Anyone with eyes can see who the problem is in your relationship and it’s not you, Dovie.” Max’s words come out more harsher than they intend and he knows he’s approaching a line that probably shouldn’t be crossed tonight. 

You can’t bring your eyes up to meet Max’s heated gaze but you can feel him looking at you. Those blue eyes you used to think you could get lost in when you were younger. Before everything changed. Before you met Lando and he swept you right off your feet. 

“Charles told me about the apartment.” Max confesses. Maybe if you know you have others supporting your decision to leave, it’ll make it easier. He hopes that his support would mean something to you.

Your stomach plummets to your toes, cheeks burning red with shame. “Charles should keep his big mouth shut.” You bite out, fists working themselves into a ball at your sides. 

Max’s eyes narrow at your outburst. There was the fire that you’d been missing. Something in Max heaves a sigh of relief, you’re still in there. You’re on the cusp of getting that fire back and Max can almost see you reach for it deep in the pit of your belly. You’re so close to the edge and Max knows you well enough to know when to back off.  

“I’m sorry.” He holds his hands up in surrender. “I won’t press. I just wanted you to know that I miss you.” 

Max momentarily wonders if he’s gone too far when he sees tears well up in your eyes. His heart squeezes at the thought of being the one to make you cry. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.” You sob, no longer caring who sees you or what could possibly make it back to Lando. “I know you’re friends with him and I shouldn’t put you in the middle of our mess.” 

Max’s brows knit together in confusion. The fact that you would question his loyalty to you over Lando simply baffles him. “I’ve been in your life longer than I’ve known Lando and you’ll be in my life long after he’s gone.” Max lets that last sentence hang in the air, the prophecy of his words clinging to your skin. 

“Max.” You whisper, floored by the fierceness of his tone and the sincerity of his words. 

Panic claws at him. He’s gone too far, revealed too much. He can’t do that with you now, not when you’re already so fragile. You don’t need that from him and he knows it. Back off, something in him orders and alarm bells clang to life. 

“All I’m saying is,” Max keeps his tone deliberately light. “If you need a friend to talk to, I’m here. Always.” 

You nod, appreciating how he backed off when he saw you panicking. 

Max takes your elbow before turning you around, pointing you in the direction of your apartment. “Come on, let’s get you home, okay?” 

As Max walks you the rest of the way home, Lando is still set up in his gaming room playing Tarkov with Max on his stream. As they begin another raid, Lando notices Max’s stream start to pick up at a much faster pace than it’s been running all evening. He’s been streaming for hours now, since before you left the apartment and while he knows the opening should be wrapping up right about now, he has a hard time caring. Those things are always so boring and he never understands the art, even if it is nice to be photographed out with you and your brothers. 

“What is this link everyone’s spamming chat? You all know if you start spamming, we’re going to mute you.” Max asks, frustration evident in his voice. 

Lando glances over at the chat screen on his second monitor and sees his name flying by along with what looks like an instagram link. He knows he shouldn’t click on dodgy links but curiosity gets the best of him because at the same time the chat starts to explode, so do his notifications from Instagram. “The fuck?” He mumbles, ignoring Max who is reading the chat as they come in. 

“First Verstappen steals your championship, now he’s stealing your girl? Chat, what the fuck are you all on about?” 

Lando can feel the heat rising in his face and he’s instantly thankful that he’s got his video off. He mutes himself quickly too before texting Max, who is desperately trying to regain control of the chat. The link finally opens and Lando nearly drops his phone. He’s been tagged in a series of photos that show you and Max walking out of the gallery together, then you two stopped in the middle of the sidewalk embracing with you clearly looking upset, and then a final one showing you two walking away together. 

Anger flares bright and sharp in his chest as he looks at the photos. You’re making him look like a fool, galavanting around town with the likes of Max Verstappen late at night, especially after all he went thorough with Max last season. What the fuck were you thinking?

“Alright, chat I think that’s going to be the end of the stream tonight. This is why we can’t have nice things!” 

Max ends the stream without a second thought, knowing that Lando is going to be incandescent with rage after seeing those photos and reading all the comments. 

f1.gossip.source posted

f1.gossip.source First he steals the championship, now it looks like Max Verstappen is making a play for @/lando's girl. Uh ooooooh... user9928 I mean, she looked pretty upset in the other pictures I saw leaving the gallery. Lando didn't show to support her so... user298 paddock bunnies gonna bunny >>>user223 she's literally known Max almost her entire life??? user110 this isn't a thing...her and Max have been friends for YEARS. Leave the poor girl alone user1008 lando's loss, she's amazing. user918 idk but if my girl got caught getting a kiss from another guy, I'd go scorched earth >>>user028 SERIOUSLY I am floored by the people defending her??? Like??? >>>user928 maybe if Lando showed up for his girlfriend, Max wouldn't have had to step in and comfort her...?

As Lando struggles to come to grips with what he just saw, you and Max are standing in the lobby of your apartment as you desperately search for your keys. “Fuck, I think I forgot my keys upstairs.” 

“Just give Lando a call, I’m sure he’s still up.” 

You shrug, cheeks heating. “He sometimes gets tunnel vision when he’s streaming and forgets to check his phone.” You admit, not wanting to go more into detail because you know how bad it’ll sound if you have to tell Max that sometimes Lando will completely ignore you while he’s streaming. What you also don’t tell him is that this has happened to you before and all three times, you’d had to spend the night at either Jade or Charles’ house because he had been on stream so late you had nearly fallen asleep in the hallway. 

Max levels a glare at you, unable to believe what you’re saying. “Well, lets both go up then and maybe we can get his attention by knocking.” 

Anxiety ripples through you as Max starts off towards the elevators, giving you no other choice but to follow him. It’s a quiet ride up to your floor as you fidget with the hem of your shirt, unable to even attempt to make small talk with Max. You know the facade of your entire relationship is about to be lifted right in front of one of your oldest friends and you don’t quite know how to make it stop. 

When you raise your hand to knock, your heart hammers in your chest so wildly you momentarily worry Max is going to be concerned for your health. Much to your surprise, it only takes a few short moments for the door to swing open so fast you nearly stumble back. 

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Lando spits when his eyes land on Max. The venom in his voice is so shocking you need to take a step away, unintentionally stepping closer to Max, which seems to set Lando off even more. Rage flares in his eyes at your proximity to his on-track rival. 

“That’s a wild way to say ‘hey man, thanks for walking my girlfriend home in the dark because I couldn’t be bothered to show up to her art show’ but you’re welcome.” Max grits out, taking one step closer to you as if he might need to get between you and Lando. 

Tension hangs thick between the three of you as Lando seethes where he stands in the door. 

“Max, it’s okay.” You whisper, shame lighting a painful spark of fire deep in your chest. This was going to get out of control so quickly. 

“No, it’s not and you know it.” Max turns back to Lando now, eyes blazing with a level of anger that is miles more intense than the look Lando is giving you. “And why the fuck are you coming at her so hot? All I did was walk her home.” 

Lando scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Because this was just posted by almost a dozen gossip accounts and was being spammed all over Fewtrell’s chat while we were streaming.” 

You take the phone Lando is brandishing in your face and go pale. The carousel of photos in the new post are pretty damning, you have to admit but you would have thought that your boyfriend of all people would know better than to blindly believe a series of grainy photos above trusting his own girlfriend. 

“Lando…” You sooth, arm reaching out to touch his elbow. You wince when he pulls away from you. “You of all people should know how those things are twisted. Max was just walking me home and we were talking, that’s it.” 

“But why was he hugging you?” He shows you the third picture of Max hugging you after you had started crying out on the street. You had to admit you were kind of impressed with how fast those photos got out, but it was Monaco after all and you hand’t exactly been discreet when you were upset with Max. 

“Because she was upset you didn’t show up for her. Again!” Max shouts and you flinch.

 The words slice a fresh wound across your heart. The fact that Max knew that this wasn’t the first time upsets you more than you think it should. You’re not entirely sure why Max’s opinion of you matters so much but you’re not quite willing to examine those feelings yet. 

Lando’s glare swings away from you and back onto Max. “Because I’ve been to a million of them and they’re all the same. Same pretentious people pretending they have taste. Once you’ve been to one you’ve been to them all.” 

The words that come out of your boyfriend’s mouth have you audibly gasping, hand flying to your throat. “Lando.” You whisper, pain and shock coursing through your voice. 

You swear you feel a brush of fingertips on the small of your back but the touch is so light and so quick you think you’ve imagined it. 

Something flickers behind your boyfriend’s eyes then and it’s almost like he realizes he’s gone a step too far. His shoulders sag and he shakes his head. “I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry baby.” Lando reaches for you and before you can step away, he pulls you into his chest. He doesn’t miss the way you stiffen in his embrace though and neither does Max. “Please come inside and we can talk about it alone, okay?” He whispers, glaring at Max, clearly dismissing him. 

The way his arms used to feel around you was comforting, you’d seek his affection when you were anxious or upset and he would always take care of you but somewhere along the line, the affection you craved stopped being handed out so easily. Now, you craved it but only because if he was touching you it meant he wasn’t mad at you and maybe this time it would be different. Every time he showed you this kind of affection you hoped that this would be the time he would change. 

It never was. 

“Thank you for walking me home, Max. I’m sorry you got dragged into this.” 

Worry lines crease the spot between his brows as he frowns. Everything in his body is screaming to put up a fight and not let you go inside with Lando. He knows if Charles were here and had just witnessed what he had, there was no way Lando would be leaving this building in anything other than a body bag but he wasn’t Charles and he didn’t have any entitlement to you. He wanted to fight but you weren’t his to fight for. 

“Call me if you need anything, okay Dovie?” 

Lando’s arms tighten around you at the nickname. He hates it and Max knows it. “She won’t need to, I’ve got her.” 

“You sure about that, mate?” Max asks, one brow tipping up in question. 

Without waiting for a reply, Max turns on his heel and walks towards the elevator. In his pocket, his fingers curl around his phone because the moment he gets out of the building he knows exactly who he’s going to be calling: Charles. 

As soon as Max leaves and your behind closed doors, the mask slips again. 

“What the fuck were you thinking, walking home with Max fucking Verstappen? And hugging him?” Lando is pacing the floor of your living room as you stand there, helpless to say anything against his raging. 

It’s usually like this when he gets angry with you and you’ve gotten good at being quiet while he rages. You have to let him work out all the anger and eventually you know he’ll calm down and apologizes for losing his temper. You’ve seen this before and you know exactly what to do, how to humor the angry beast that has surfaced once again. 

“Lando, it wasn’t like that and you know it.” You fight to keep the exasperation out of your voice, knowing that would just set him off even more. “I was alone, my brothers were going in the opposite direction, and Max offered. That’s it! It was completely innocent.” Despite yourself, you try to reason with him.

“You should have just gone home with your brothers then instead of putting yourself in that position.” He snaps and you glare at him. 

“You would have rather me not slept here at home tonight than take an offer from a friend to walk me home? All because you didn’t follow through with what you said you’d do?” 

You know you’re pushing him and Lando doesn’t like to be pushed. Your conversation with Charles two weeks ago flickers through your mind. How you deserve better and it strikes you then that everyone but you can see it. Everyone around you, everyone that loves you can see how bad he is for you, how poorly he treats you and how much you’ve changed since you started dating him. 

You supposed that if you had changed for the better, maybe everyone who loved you wouldn’t have anything to say. Don’t people change for the people they love all the time? You were sure they did but you weren’t sure you liked the change you saw in yourself anymore. You couldn’t fight it, this change that felt like you were wearing shoes that were three sizes too small for your feet. Like you had outgrown yourself in a way that wasn’t okay and you somehow needed to find your way back to who you were before Lando. Before he broke you. 

“And avoid you causing social media chaos that I’m going to be dealing with for weeks now?” Lando sneers, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks down his nose at you. “Yeah, absolutely.” 

You laugh, cold and bitter, as you shake your head. “Thats real nice Lan, real nice.” 

“I’m just saying. Now the rumor mills are going to start up again. Whenever you’re at a race, people will be watching to see if you’re with Max again. Or maybe next time it’ll be Lewis. Or maybe you want to go a bit younger? Get a ‘friendly escort home’ from one of the rookies? I’m sure Franco would love to try his hand with you. My girlfriend, the paddock bunny being passed around.” 

The ache in your chest grows as he chooses his words carefully, barbed and sharp as glass, so they hit their intending target, cutting through you like butter and causing mortal damage.

“You don’t have to be so mean.” You whisper. “I’m sorry that the pictures hurt your feelings and were taken out of context but you don’t have to be so mean.” 

Tears threaten to spill and you will them to stop, knowing that will only fuel Lando’s fire. He loves when he upsets you like this, when he gets to tell you what a drama queen you are. Just like your brother, he would say, always whining and crying on the radio about how Carlos wasn’t being a team player and letting him win when he didn’t deserve it. 

“If I’m not the one to give you a reality check, then who will? Your entire family has coddled you for your entire life and you think you deserve some level of respect that you haven’t earned. If you deserved that kind of respect, you would have gone home with your brothers or walked home alone. People who deserve respect don’t put their relationships in jeopardy because they’re afraid to be alone at night.” 

“Put our relationship in jeopardy?” You laugh again, rolling your eyes at the audacity of what Lando is saying. “Lan, you really are being a bit over dramatic here, don’t you think? I’m sure the PR department at McLaren will take care of this by the next race, no big deal.” 

Lando laughs, dark and bitter as he takes a step towards you. You have to fight the urge not to flinch when he gets closer to you. Deep down, you know he’d never raise a hand to you but it’s hard to remember that when he gets in your face like this. “Now you expect McLaren to clean up your mess?” He hisses. “God, you really are a spoiled little girl, aren’t you?” 

“I’m just trying to find a solution to the problem that I seem to have caused.” You snap back, courage flaring in your chest as you stand up a little straighter. Max’s words from earlier play back in your head: ‘anyone with eyes can see who the problem is in your relationship’. “What if I come to the next race? If the two of us turn up in the paddock together, that will help quiet the rumors, don’t you think?” 

Lando narrows his eyes, “So you can get more attention from Max? Absolutely not. I’ll have McLaren handle this, okay? Just forget about it.” 

You want to scream at his solution because it was the same exact thing you had literally just suggested and been laughed at. But that was the way Lando was. If it wasn’t his idea, it was the worst thing you could have suggested. As long as it was his idea though, it was brilliant and the perfect solution to everything that was wrong. You should have anticipated this coming but you knew it was useless to fight with him. 

All at once, your body is overcome with this total wash of exhaustion. Total mental and physical exhaustion grips at your throat and you sway on your feet. “I’m going to go to bed.” You choke you. “In the guest room.” You tack on before turning on your heel and walking away from the fight like you do every time. Lando always gets the last word and as he stands there alone in the living room he feels like he’s won this one. He’ll have to call Sophie in the morning to get her to start working on damage control but for now? For now, he’s sure you realize your mistakes and you won’t put a toe out of line like that for a long time. 

Little does he know that all he’d done tonight was push you past your breaking point. 

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[actinidiafruit]

Okay so i just recently watched the lighthouse again and a lot of things are becoming more clear to me.

Contains spoilers so uh, if you haven't watched (pls do), then don't read.

There's so many things to talk about and this post will probably come across as a crazy man's ramblings, but so be it.

Tom's role is interesting to say the least. Like, at first you kinda just think that he's being a dick for the sake of being a dick and he's just doing that classic old man shit. But then you get these little glimpses.

This is just my interpretation, but the way he mentions how his former second went crazy and was hallucinating mermaids and shit. It kinds plants the seeds into (for the sake of clarity I'll just call him Winslow) Winslow's head. And during their sober run together (before the bird + storm incidents), they're acting relatively normal. Of course Tom gives Winslow a hard time, but that's just him being Tom. Abusing his power as the elder a bit. But the way he morphs in the later half of the movie (especially now that they're both abusing alcohol). You see his intentions more clearly. The way he gaslights Winslow, tries to turn things on him, the way he wrote bad things about him in the log book(?). He's a mean old guy. But why? I still can't figure out why he's done this. Why he killed his former second (which he totally did, even if he didn't spill his beans about it). Is he protective of the light? Is that it? God knows.

And te way the mermaid is presented is... it makes you think. In my first two watches, I didn't understand why or why. But I think now it's a symbol for Winslow's sexuality (at least in some scenes). The way he'd use the charm in the shed. The way he had that hallucination on the rocks. The time he caught Tom having a private moment in the lighthouse and then hallucinated tentacles. Towards the end, when he's beating Tom on the floor and Winslow hallucinates him turning into some sort of sea king type creature.

Of course something must've happened between the two. That one scene where they're drunkenly holding each other, swaying, then go to kiss before breaking out into a fight. The whole master/dog thing. There's a lot of Winslow reflected in Tom. And of course he'd eventually spill his beans, want to be intimate, etc. They've been alone together for god knows how long. It's a very human thing to want to reach out and connect.

It's just so indicative of the human condition and the way that we connect. I feel like I need to watch this movie another 20 times before I fully get it, but my eyes were opened to quite a bit.

And the scene where Winslow looks into the light and laughs/screams. It gives me this sense of triumph (he finally got to see the Forbidden thing!) but also bittersweet. The laughter is triump, the bittersweet screaming is Winslow coming to grips with the fact that it's just a light. There was no point to why Tom guarded it like he did. It's like Winslow finally realises that he let himself be led to madness by some old, lying idiot and can't help but scream at his foolishness. The pointlessness of it all. And maybe that's why he lets himself fall down the stairs and ultimately die. His sins cannot be undone (done-bun can't be undone), so therefore he rots, being eaten by the very things that kickstarted his whole downfall.

Finally, just ugh. The cinematography. The unreliable narrator aspect. The way it's so open ended to interpretation. This movie has so much to give, I just wish my friends liked it even a little lol.

updated this list btw

RULES:

at least one of the pair MUST be over 50

20 year MINIMUM age gap OR they BOTH have to be over 50

has to be conceivably reciprocal (s.exually, no necessarily romantically)

[dtilmnh]

Alright, let's be fucking for real here. The only reason that Peter gets as much hate as he does is because he's not conventionally attractive. He's ragged on constantly, belittled, made fun of, and hated on by everyone. And don't get me wrong, I hate Peter for what he did too, but the way the fandom treats Peter is not only so over the top and ridiculous, but also so hypocritical.

Like y'all are gushing over fucking Barty Crouch Jr who tortured Neville's parents to insanity, was as much a part of rebirthing Voldemort as Peter was, and was literally fucking 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 with the racist, genocidal maniac. But no, he's just "misunderstood", don't you know he has daddy issues? And Peter? Oh, Peter's the devil in rat form.

Peter is ostracised, ignored, and bullied by the authors and the other characters in almost every fanfiction. Half of the time he's just straight up ignored, he's barely mentioned in passing, and he's excluded from the fanarts. If he's included, he's hated on or dismissed in all the fanfictions, and in fanart he's almost always in rat form curled up somewhere where he can be easily ignored and people can focus on the other, far more attractive Marauders (and non-Marauders).

Peter is just a weak, stupid, irritating person that no-one actually wants around but puts up with for... reasons. He was never a "real" Marauder anyways, he was just in the background and out of frame while the others starred. The Marauders? That's James, Sirius, Remus, Regulus, Lily, and a slew of other characters that never even show up in the books. Oh look, and there's Peter tagging along too! That's the fandom portrayal of him anyways.

This could not be further from the truth. He was their friend. Do you really see James or Sirius choosing to hang around someone whose company they don't truly enjoy? Do you really think they're the types to keep someone around out of pity? Peter was their friend, their brother, their trusted. Hell, Sirius literally trusted him more than he trusted Remus (the Wolfstar shippers won't like that, will they?).

My point is that this wouldn't be his portrayal is he 𝘸𝘢𝘴 conventionally attractive. Fans would probably take him down the "morally grey characters" pipeline, give him a tragic backstory, characterise him as someone talented, cunning, and calculating (which he was). Now, would their attempts at providing complexity to his character fall as flat as every fanon version of every Marauders character and end up completely unrecognisable and ooc? Probably, yes. But let's be honest, that's happening to him anyways.

Peter Pettigrew is an extremely hateable character, because he's a bad person. Considering the number of straight up evil characters the fandom manages to feel sympathy for, Peter's treatment is blatant hypocrisy. He's not hated for betraying James and Lily, for framing Sirius, for 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 (the twelve Muggles, Bertha Jorkins, and Cedric Diggory). He's hated for the crime of being "ugly".

Not to mention, according to fans he's weak and stupid but also somehow a master manipulator and evil since the day he was born. He entered Hogwarts with the Dark Mark already on his wrist and got close to the others for the sole purpose of betraying them later (this is an exaggeration, but you get my point).

Make Peter a complex, morally grey character, with real feelings and emotions. Give him relationships, and dreams, and goals, and motivations. Give him hobbies and interests, give him character traits, give him skills. For the love of God, Merlin, or whatever ineffable deity you pray to, can you please just give Peter Pettigrew a fucking personality, and stop excluding him from every fanfiction, fanart, or other headcanon you make.

[willowedspirits]

This is the general risk of infection for the chain during this AU.

How I am handling the infection is a bit more intense than in game. The basic meat and bones of it is that the more you know about Radiance, the easier it will be for her to find you. Now in this AU, all of the chain are in more danger of being infected than the average bug but some in the group are at more risk than others.

Also! This isn't counting Dark Link! Dark Link infects bugs differently, this chart is only regarding becoming infected via Radiance through their dreams.

Another small note (and this is purely my own headcanon) a bugs Soul can work as a "barrier" against the Radiance's influence.

Notes about specific bugs below:

Time: He is completely immune to Radiance's infection. Fierce Deity protects him from the Radiance (has in the past) and will purge the Radiance from his dreams if she tries again.

Twilight: Is susceptible to the infection due to his upbringing. He grew up being taught that a goddess would share her "gift" with the village, and he looked forward to one day receiving this "gift" until he started seeing what it actually does to bugs.

Warriors: Is the bug that knows the least about Radiance because it would be extremely dangerous if he did. If he becomes infected, so would the rest of the Hive. The only thing he really knows about Radiance is her name and how she spreads the infection.

Four: Is extremely resistant towards the infection due to being blessed by Unn. Using his Soul he can split himself into the Colors and when in the dream realm he is always split. Because of this, Radiance would need to infect each Color individually before being able to completely infect Four.

Wind: Not much other to say than "average." He's about the closest thing we will be getting to a "baseline" in terms of comparing him to the average everyday bug. The others try to keep information about Radiance away from him because they don't want to risk him getting infected, but he definitely knows more than Wars.

Wild: Since he's been infected before he is VERY susceptible to reinfection and is at the most risk in the group. They also don't know what would happen if he were to be infected again, it was a miracle he survived the first round, who knows what a second one would do.

Legend: Has become semi-resistant to the infection due to learning about Soul and the true capabilities of it.

Hyrule: His mastery of his own Soul has allowed him to have a strong resistance towards the Radiance. It's still possible, but he is one of the least likely to become infected.

Sky: Is very susceptible to becoming infected because of his ability to "cure" bugs. Using the Master/Dream nail he is able to enter the minds of bugs and remove Radiance from their dreams. He is regularly exposing himself to Radiance because of this ability.

If there are any questions, feel free to ask here or on the blog, I love talking about bugs :)

[heartsriki]

A KEYCHAIN FOR TWO ⌇불꽃

pairing ᝰ ni-ki x fem!reader — featuring.. everyone but hee, srry pook :( | word count: 6.3k+

⌇ … warnings & genre ↺ highschool au, small love triangle, moving cities, a little rivals to lovers (sort of), riki is a jerk sometimes, kissing, fluff, a lil angst, misunderstood feelings, lots of bickering, cussing, drama vibes.

synopsis — after moving to a new city, you worry about the rest of your high school years being spent alone. your worries are immediately shut down as you meet a cute aussie next door and his chaotic group of friends. you all got along, well, everyone besides you and riki.

lee's ₊˚⊹ ᰔ comment ┊whoever knows where that keychain is from get a kiss... also this took so long to write bc I didn't know where I wanted it to go but I think it ended up cute??? hope you like it!

You never expected your high school years to go like this. It was nearing the end of your 10th-grade year, and out of nowhere, your parents decided to move far away from your hometown. You were afraid. You wouldn’t have your friends or family with you anymore, and the farther you drove from home, the more emotional you felt.

Your dad glanced at you through the rear-view mirror. “What’s with the long face, huh?” he asked, returning his attention to the road.

You didn’t respond. Even though you knew moving was better for your parents for reasons they wouldn’t tell you, you still felt upset.

“Don’t be too mad, sweetheart. You can start fresh here! The education in this city is one of the best!” your mom said enthusiastically as she turned around.

You rolled your eyes, huffing as you turned your gaze back to the view outside the window.

After the long drive, you finally arrived at your new home. The car pulled into the driveway, and you examined the house. It had two floors and looked brand new; the rising sun complimented the lush greenery around it. Your parents excitedly stepped out of the car to admire their home and immediately went to the trunk to unpack.

You stayed inside the car with your arms crossed, still feeling stubborn, until your dad opened your door. “The moving truck won’t be here until the afternoon, but you can go pick out your room,” he said with an encouraging smile and a nod.

That made you happy. You hopped out of the car and jogged to the front door. “Don’t get mad if I pick the master bedroom!” you yelled playfully, looking back before opening the door.

You didn’t spend much time exploring downstairs. Instead, you skipped up the stairs, humming, and made your way down the hall. The first room was small, and the second was way too big.

When you opened the door to the last room, you paused to look around. It was cozy and—

Your train of thought was interrupted by a thud against the window. Slowly, you crept toward it and looked out, spotting a boy halfway out of his window, waving at you. Raising an eyebrow, you opened your window.

“Hey! What’s your name?!” the boy shouted from across the way.

You glanced side to side, then back at him. He had long black hair, an accent, and probably the most gorgeous smile you’d ever seen. “Uh—it’s Y/N!” you shouted back, giggling.

He nodded. “Y/N… That’s cool! My name’s Jake! Are you new to the town?”

You laughed pointing at your parent unloading the car. “Yeah! Pretty obvious don't you think?”

He pouted as he looked at the car, putting a hand on his chest in embarrassment before turning back to you. “Want me to show you around the neighborhood!?”

From that day, you and Jake quickly became friends. You learned that he attended the same school you’d be going to after summer break. You were happy, though that happiness dimmed a bit when you found out he was a junior who is now becoming a senior, which meant he wouldn’t be around for long.

Still, you pushed that thought aside. Over the summer, Jake took you all around town—restaurants, parks, arcades, PC rooms, shops, and even the school you’d be attending. You were practically attached at the hip. He was fun, funny, and smart. You had to admit, he was quickly becoming part of your everyday routine.

By the end of the summer, your small town already felt less intimidating. Slowly, your resentment about the move started to fade. Jake made everything feel easier like the town wasn’t just a place you moved to but a place where you could belong.

When he wasn’t around, you’d find yourself wondering what he was doing. Would school change everything? You didn’t know, but you’d grown attached to him in a way you didn’t know yourself.

Everything went well—until the start of the new school year.

“There’s no way I have to wear this,” you said, picking at your school uniform.

Jake laughed, throwing his basketball up and down. “Come on, you look fine. Besides, every other girl is wearing it too,” he said, half truthfully and half mockingly.

You rolled your eyes at him and started to pack up. “Let’s go before we miss the bus,” you said, putting your headphones on.

Jake groaned from your bed, slowly falling off of it. “Being late doesn’t sound so bad.”

You glared at him, and he quickly stood up, grabbing his things as well.

The walk to the bus was quiet. When you both got on, he spotted one of his other friends and sat down next to them. He invited you to join, but you waved him off. You needed to clear your mind before the start of your 11th year.

You turned up your music and drifted away, watching the scenery pass by.

After a while, the bus neared the stop around your school. You were still out of it and didn’t notice everyone wearing the same uniform as you.

From the back of the bus, a boy in your uniform glanced at you for a second before walking toward the front. He didn’t wake you up until he reached the driver.

“Hey, kid, doesn’t she go to your school?” the driver asked, nodding toward the mirror.

The boy removed one of his headphones and turned to look at you. “How should I know?” he said with a shrug.

The driver made an annoyed face. “Just wake her up, will you? Hurry.”

He groaned and turned back. “Seriously, this is so annoying. Who falls asleep on a bus?” he muttered to himself.

He made his way to you and nudged you, but you didn’t budge. That’s when he grabbed your shoulder and shook you roughly. You yelped and looked at him, but he quickly turned around and got off the bus.

You looked around and realized what had happened. “Oh great, that’s just perfect,” you huffed, quickly adjusting your bag and sprinting to get off the bus.

Once you got off, you realized you had no clue how to get to the school from this area. That’s when you spotted the same boy walking in a direction. You noticed he was wearing the same uniform as you and quickly followed behind him.

“Hey, how do we get to school from here?” you asked, walking beside him.

He looked at you before turning away, ignoring you.

You scoffed and tried again. “Did you hear me?”

He ignored you once more and checked his phone. After glancing at the time, he cursed under his breath and started running.

That made you look at your phone too. You saw it was five minutes before curfew. “Oh shoot!”

You ran behind him, struggling to keep up with his long strides. You both ran until he suddenly stopped. You came to a halt beside him, ready to ask what was wrong, but then you saw it. The entrance monitor was holding a group of late students.

You almost freaked out, but before you could, the boy threw his bag over the fence and started climbing it.

You rushed to the fence and looked up at him. “Help me too!” you whisper-yelled.

He looked down at you with a squint, and you caught a glimpse of his name tag: Nishimura Riki. So that’s his name.

“Why the hell would I help you?” he clicked his tongue and hopped to the other side, leaving you stranded.

You almost got angry, but then you heard footsteps approaching. You knew it was over.

Jake laughed at you. “Are you serious? That’s hilarious! I’m surprised they let you off that easy.”

You glared at him, holding your head in your hands from your desk. Jake had come to visit you in your 10th-grade classroom, which caused a stir among the students. Seniors rarely showed up in this area.

“Haha, very funny. You just left me stranded, you jerk.”

He raised his hands in defense. “Whoa, hey, don’t blame me! Anyway, who was that guy—” Jake glanced at the clock. “Never mind. Class is starting, and I’m not in the mood to get in trouble. See you at lunch?”

You gave him a sweet smile and a small nod. “Sure.”

After he left, two girls turned around in their seats and looked at you. “Is he your boyfriend?”

Your eyes widened, and you shook your head. “No, no, no, of course not—he’s just, y’know…”

“Oh, whoops,” the girls giggled and turned back around talking about how cute he was.

You sighed, resting your head on your desk. Your first day was already a mess.

When the lunch bell rang, students quickly dispersed around the school. You wandered aimlessly, not knowing where to go until someone bumped into you from behind. He stumbled a bit before looking at you in surprise.

“My bad, I didn’t see you. Are you okay?”

You nodded, then noticed Jake beside him.

“Hey, man! Oh, Y/N! I was looking for you. This is Jay. Jay, this is Y/N,” Jake introduced.

Jay grinned and waved. “Hey.”

“Anyway, let’s go meet the rest of the guys. Come on—the stall might be out of snacks by now.”

As you walked behind them, you giggled at their silly arguments. Eventually, you reached a small, tree-shielded area where three guys were already sitting.

“About time,” said a blonde-haired guy. “Who’s this?”

“This is Y/N. Y/N, that’s Sunoo. The other two are Jungwon and Sunghoon,” Jake said.

They nodded and greeted you, and you waved shyly.

“Wow, there are so many of you,” you said with a smile.

Jake laughed, sitting down beside Sunghoon, who was already eating. “Well, one of us already graduated, and the other—hey, where is he?”

Jungwon shrugged. “Late as always—oh, there he is.”

Everyone turned around, but you didn’t realize what was happening until you backed up, startled by someone’s presence.

You looked up and saw him—the guy from the bus. Riki, wasn’t it? He was covered in milk.

You gasped. “I am so, so sorry! I had no idea you were—”

“It’s whatever. I’ll see you guys later,” he mumbled, turning to leave.

You winced and looked back at Jake, who seemed just as shocked.

“Don’t worry, he’s always like this,” Jake said, waving it off.

Since then, you got to know the group very well. They became your closest friends. You barely saw Riki, though, and the others said he was just shy. Still, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he didn’t like you very much.

A few weeks had passed since you joined Jake’s friend group, and while you’d grown close to most of them, Riki remained distant. Every time you tried to talk to him, he would brush you off or give one-word answers. At first, it annoyed you, but now, it just made you curious.

One afternoon, as the group sat together under the trees, you noticed Riki sitting off to the side, headphones on, scrolling through his phone. Sunoo was telling a funny story about something that had happened in class, and everyone was laughing, but Riki didn’t even glance up.

You leaned over to Jake and whispered, “Does he ever, like, talk to anyone?”

Jake chuckled. “Riki? Not really. He’s like that with everyone unless you’re Sunoo. They’re really close.”

You glanced at Riki again. He looked so unapproachable, but that only made you more determined. “I’m gonna go talk to him,” you said, standing up.

Jake raised an eyebrow. “Good luck.”

You walked over and sat down a few feet away from Riki, not wanting to invade his space. He didn’t acknowledge you, so you cleared your throat.

“What are you listening to?” you asked, trying to sound casual.

He slid one headphone off and looked at you, clearly unimpressed. “Music.”

You rolled your eyes. “Obviously. What kind of music?”

He sighed as if the question was the most exhausting thing he’d heard all day. “Why do you care?”

“Because I’m trying to be friendly,” you said, crossing your arms.

“Well, don’t.” He put his headphones back on and turned away.

You stared at him in disbelief. For some reason, his attitude stung more than it should have. Frustrated, you stood up and walked back to the group. Jake gave you a knowing look, “You'll grow on him, trust.”

Despite the occasional moments of civility between you and Riki, he still acted like you were more of a nuisance than anything else. Every interaction with him was a balancing act—sometimes he’d make a snide comment or ignore you entirely, and other times, you’d catch him glancing at you with an unreadable expression.

One day, during gym class, you were paired up with Riki for a partner relay. The teacher’s decision seemed to irritate him immediately.

“Seriously? Out of everyone here, I have to be paired with you?” he muttered under his breath as the two of you walked to your starting position.

“Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence,” you replied, rolling your eyes. “You’re not exactly my first choice either.”

He shot you a glare but didn’t say anything else.

The relay involved passing a baton and running a few laps. You were doing fine until it was your turn to hand the baton off to Riki. As you reached him, your grip slipped, and the baton fell to the ground.

“Are you kidding me?” he snapped, snatching it up and taking off without waiting for you to respond.

After the race, he stormed up to you, his dark eyes narrowed. “Do you even know how to hold a baton? Or were you just trying to embarrass me?”

“Relax,” you said, wiping sweat from your forehead. “It was an accident. Maybe if you weren’t so busy staring at me, you could’ve caught it better.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re unbelievable.”

You felt your cheeks heat with frustration as he walked away, leaving you standing there, fuming.

Later that week, during lunch, you accidentally bumped into a senior in the crowded cafeteria, causing their tray to spill. The student glared at you, their voice dripping with irritation.

“Watch where you’re going,” they snapped, their tone loud enough to draw attention.

“I’m really sorry,” you said, bending down to help clean up the mess.

Before you could finish, the seniors crossed their arms. “Do you even know how expensive this food is? You better pay me back.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but someone beat you to it.

“She said she’s sorry. Let it go,” Riki’s voice cut in, sharp and cold.

You looked up to see him standing a few feet away, his hands in his pockets and his gaze fixed on the senior.

The senior sneered. “And who are you supposed to be? Watch who you’re talking to, I’m your senior”

“I don’t care,” Riki replied, stepping closer. “Just take the apology and move on.”

The senior hesitated, clearly debating whether or not to escalate the situation, but Riki’s icy stare seemed to do the trick. With a huff, they turned and walked away.

You stood up, brushing off your hands. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Don’t thank me,” Riki said, avoiding your gaze. “I just didn’t want to watch you make a fool of yourself.”

“Right,” you muttered, annoyed by his tone. “You’re such a hero.”

He rolled his eyes and walked off, leaving you standing there with mixed emotions.

That was the back-and-forth limbo you and Riki had. It slowly got better up until the end of the year. Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Jungwon were all graduating, and they decided they wanted their last hangout to be at a huge festival a good distance away from the city. With permission from your parents, you were allowed to go. You decided that after all this time, you would definitely confess to Jake since you admittedly had a crush on him ever since he showed you around the city. What other chance would you get? If you didn’t tell him before he left, you’d seriously hate yourself.

You were sitting in your room packing your bag when you heard the familiar thud of your window. You rolled your eyes and turned around to see Jake and, surprisingly, Riki too. Though Riki looked shocked to see you—maybe Jake hadn’t told him that you were neighbors. You opened your window.

“What is it, Jake?” you asked.

“Everyone’s done packing. Are you ready?”

You looked around your room. “Yeah, I just finished. Are we seriously taking the train?”

Jake rolled his eyes. “Do you prefer we take a million buses instead?”

Riki groaned at the playful bickering Jake was having with you and checked his phone. “Let’s go.”

Jake nodded and yelled something at you before closing his window. Then he turned to Riki. “Hey, real quick, let me ask you something.”

Riki raised an eyebrow and stopped in his tracks. “Okay?”

Jake took a deep breath. “Do you like Y/N?”

Riki’s eyes widened, and then he scoffed. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Jake awkwardly laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “My bad. It’s just… it’s been months now, and you still act… weird around her. I thought something was up.”

Riki stayed quiet, looking at Jake.

“You should give her a chance. She’s cool.”

Riki remained silent, examining Jake before turning around and leaving.

Everyone met up at the train station and hopped on, finding seats where they could all fit. Everyone paired off, and you hoped to sit with Jake, but as you walked up to the last person without a partner, you realized it was Riki, not Jake. He looked up at you and exhaled, realizing the same thing. He sat up and put his headphones in.

You sat down next to him and did the same, turning on your playlist for the ride and opening a book to pass the time.

Eventually, you nodded off. Riki didn’t notice until he felt a soft nudge on his shoulder. He glanced at you and saw you sleeping soundly against him. He was about to move you off when you adjusted yourself, getting even closer. His ears turned bright red, and he coughed, looking around to make sure no one was watching. He looked back at you and smiled for a brief moment before catching himself and nudging your head away.

When you arrived, everyone was excited about exploring the new city. You went sightseeing, exploring the beautiful greens and skyscrapers when you walked around. That was until you found the famous amusement park and headed inside. Everyone stopped at the gift shop by the entrance to browse. Jay and Jungwon got matching headbands, and Sunghoon and Jake argued over accessories in the corner while Sunoo was adjusting his hair in the mirror.

You looked around for something to buy and ended up spotting a keychain that matched the color of your bag. You loved it, It was perfect but you checked the price and immediately put it down, opting for a headband instead. You looked back at it and pouted. You should've brought more money.

After leaving the gift shop, the group decided to split up again to explore the park more efficiently. Jay, Sunghoon, and Sunoo ran off to check out the go-karts, while Jungwon and Jake insisted on getting on the water ride. That left you and Riki standing awkwardly near the haunted house.

“Guess it’s just us,” you said with a small shrug.

Riki shoved his hands into his pockets, looking thoroughly unimpressed. “Yeah. Great.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “You know, you could at least pretend to enjoy hanging out with me.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” he said flatly.

You sighed, deciding it wasn’t worth arguing. “Fine. Let’s just go in.”

The line for the haunted house was surprisingly short, and soon you were walking into the dark, eerie entrance. The atmosphere was perfect—dim lighting, fake cobwebs, and eerie sound effects played from hidden speakers.

The first jump scare came from a man dressed as a zombie who popped out of a hidden panel in the wall. You screamed and instinctively grabbed Riki’s arm. He froze at the contact, glancing down at your hand before quickly pulling his arm away.

“Scared already?” he teased, though his voice lacked the usual bite.

“I wasn’t scared,” you lied, brushing it off as you continued walking.

The next scare involved a ghoul lunging out from behind a curtain. This time, Riki flinched slightly but tried to play it off. You noticed and couldn’t help but smirk.

“You sure you’re not scared?” you asked, mimicking his earlier tone.

“I’m not,” he grumbled, but his defensive tone made you giggle.

As the haunted house went on, the scares became more intense. At one point, a person dressed as a ghost followed you for what felt like forever. You clung to Riki’s sleeve without realizing it, muttering under your breath about how creepy it was.

When you finally made it out of the haunted house, you let out a relieved laugh. “Okay, that was actually terrifying.”

Riki didn’t say anything at first, his gaze focused on the ground. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter than usual. “You weren’t much of a wussy as I thought you’d be”

You tilted your head, confused by the comment. “What? I screamed, like, five times in there.”

“Yeah, but… you didn’t freak out as much as I thought you would.”

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?” you asked, laughing softly.

Riki shrugged, but there was a faint flush to his cheeks as he muttered, “Maybe.”

That moment with Riki was shortly lived as the others found you. You guys were wandering around the park for a while, someone suggested riding the biggest roller coaster there. The excitement in the group was palpable—well, for everyone except Sunoo.

“I’m not doing that,” Sunoo declared, crossing his arms as he looked up at the towering, twisting structure. The screams of riders echoed across the park. “That looks like a death trap.”

Jay smirked, nudging him. “What’s the matter? Afraid you’ll mess up your hair?”

“I’m afraid of dying, genius,” Sunoo shot back, glaring.

“Come on, Sunoo, it’s just one ride!” Jake encouraged, grinning.

“I’ll sit this one out, thanks.”

Jungwon groaned, rubbing his temples. “Fine, you can hold our bags. But we’re not letting you skip every ride.”

The rest of you got in line, Sunoo begrudgingly following along to take everyone’s belongings. While waiting, Jake kept the energy up by teasing Sunghoon, who was unusually quiet as the ride loomed closer.

“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” Jake grinned. “Sunghoon’s scared!”

“I’m not scared,” Sunghoon grumbled. “I’m just… mentally preparing.”

“You mean mentally panicking,” Jay quipped, earning a laugh from the group.

When it was finally your turn, you all piled into the cars. You ended up seated next to Jake, while Riki sat with Sunghoon, and Jay and Jungwon paired up behind you. The car began its slow ascent, the clicking of the chain pulling it higher and higher.

“Why do I let you guys talk me into this stuff?” you muttered, gripping the bar in front of you.

Jake laughed. “Because you secretly love it.”

Before you could respond, the car reached the peak, pausing just long enough for you to see the entire park stretched out below. Then, it plummeted.

The screams were deafening. You yelled along with everyone else as the car whipped around corners, climbed steep hills, and dove into sharp drops. In the spur of the moment, Jake grabbed your hand in fear but you took it in another way.

Somewhere behind you, Jay and Jungwon were whooping loudly, while Riki’s distinct “What the hell?!” cut through the chaos.

When the ride finally screeched to a halt, you stumbled off, legs shaky but adrenaline pumping.

“That was insane!” Jake said, practically bouncing.

“I think I lost my soul back there,” Sunghoon muttered, his face pale as he leaned against a nearby railing.

“Riki looked like he was about to cry,” Jay teased, earning a glare from him.

“I did not,” Riki snapped.

You couldn’t help but laugh at their bickering as you all regrouped with Sunoo, who had been watching from a safe distance.

“Did you see Sunghoon’s face when it dropped?” Sunoo asked, laughing as he handed everyone their bags.

“Don’t even start,” Sunghoon grumbled, still recovering.

Despite the teasing, everyone was in good spirits as you walked to the next ride. It was one of those rare moments where the whole group felt completely in sync, the laughter echoing between you all as the sun began to dip lower in the sky.

The night sky began to settle over the park, casting a soft glow from the flickering lights of the rides. It was unanimously decided that the last stop for the group would be the Ferris wheel. Everyone paired off, and once again, fate (or misfortune, as Riki would claim) left you with him.

“Seriously, this is getting creepy now,” Riki muttered as he stepped into the cart, his hands shoved into his pockets.

“Shut up,” you grumbled, climbing in after him and sitting as far from him as possible.

The ride started with a lurch, pulling your cart upward, and with it came silence that neither of you dared to break. You both sat with your attention fixed on the window, the glowing lights of the amusement park sprawling below like a dream.

Your mind raced, running through the confession you’d been rehearsing for weeks now. After this ride, the fireworks would begin, and it would be the perfect moment to tell Jake how you felt. You could already picture it: the brilliant colors of the sky with fireworks, the spark in his eyes, and—hopefully—his mutual feelings.

Riki, on the other hand, was struggling with something of his own. His fingers fidgeted with a small keychain tucked in his palm, the same one he saw you admiring in the gift shop earlier. He wasn’t sure why he bought it, but the idea of giving it to you now felt almost unbearable. What was he supposed to say? Why did he even care?

The silence stretched on until he noticed you pulling a crumpled piece of paper out of your pocket.

“What’s that?” he asked, breaking the quiet.

You glanced at him briefly before looking back at the paper. “None of your business.”

He raised an eyebrow, leaning forward slightly. “Seriously? Just tell me.”

You hesitated, chewing your lip. “Promise you won’t tell?”

He shrugged but gave a quick nod.

You sighed, holding the paper tighter. “It’s… my confession speech. To Jake.”

Riki froze, his gaze flickering from your face to the paper in your hands.

“I was planning to confess after this ride,” you admitted softly, a small, nervous smile playing on your lips. “I’ve been working on this for weeks. It’s kind of embarrassing, but… I just thought it’d be the perfect time, y’know?”

Riki stayed quiet, his chest tightening as he clenched the keychain in his hand. You went on, explaining your plan in detail—the timing, the words, how you’d muster the courage to pour your heart out. But his thoughts drowned out your voice.

Why Jake?

He snapped back to reality when he noticed your voice falter. Following your gaze, he leaned forward to see what had caught your attention. Down below, standing near one of the snack stalls, was Jake. But he wasn’t alone.

You froze.

Jake leaned in, pressing a kiss to another girl’s lips, his hand resting casually on her waist.

The world seemed to tilt on its axis. You stared, unable to look away, your chest tightening painfully as reality crashed down.

“I should’ve known,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Of course…”

Your vision blurred as tears began to well up, but before they could spill, a hand gently grabbed your face and turned it away.

“Look,” Riki said softly, guiding your gaze to the horizon.

The first firework burst into the night sky, a brilliant explosion of color that lit up the cart. More followed, painting the sky in shimmering reds, blues, and gold.

Riki didn’t let go of your face for a moment, watching you instead of the display. He hoped the fireworks would be enough to distract you, to erase the image of Jake. But when your shoulders began to shake, his breath caught.

Tears silently rolled down your cheeks, and Riki froze, unsure of what to do. His arms twitched, hovering awkwardly as if he wanted to comfort you but didn’t know how. He moved his hands from cleaning your tears to your shoulders, now rubbing them.

“Don’t cry,” he mumbled, his voice unsteady. “It’s not worth it.”

You didn’t respond, wiping at your cheeks hastily as the cart slowly descended. By the time the ride ended, your tears had dried, and you stepped out without a word, walking back toward the group as if nothing had happened.

Riki followed behind, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, the keychain still tucked tightly in his fist. He didn’t know why it made him so angry seeing you like this, but it did. For the rest of the night, he watched you from a distance, wishing he could say something—anything—to make it better.

But he stayed silent.

And the keychain stayed hidden.

After the happy persona you displayed in front of the group that night, you stayed tucked away in your room. Occasionally, your friends would text, asking where you were and if you were okay. In reality, you weren’t. Nobody knew what you saw on the Ferris wheel or how it made you feel—except Riki. It was mortifying, honestly. You felt so stupid.

Sometimes, you’d hear the familiar sound of pebbles hitting your window. You didn’t need to think to know who it was. How could you face him now? Could you even say anything? Hopefully Riki didn’t tell him, he wouldn’t.

As you lay in bed, slowly succumbing to your thoughts, you heard a soft knock at your door. You assumed it was your mom—she’d been trying to get you out of your room for days, though nothing had worked. That’s what you thought, anyway.

The door creaked open slowly. Instead of your mom, a familiar face peeked in. “It’s me.”

You jumped at the sight of him and quickly straightened up in bed, fixing your hair and rubbing your eyes. “Riki? Why are you here?”

He smiled softly and stepped inside, his eyes wandering around your room, taking in the unfamiliar space. Finally, he looked back at you.

“You know why,” he said, sitting down beside you. He placed a paper bag on the bed and began to open it.

The bag was filled with snacks and your favorite meal. Your heart swelled at the gesture. “Riki…”

“You like this, right? You always ate it during lunch,” he said, shoving the bowl toward you and looking away slightly, his ears tinged red.

A small laugh escaped your lips, and his eyes snapped back to you, his expression softening at the sight of your smile. As you opened the bowl and settled more comfortably, he cleared his throat, as if preparing to speak.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently.

You stiffened but forced a small smile, poking at your food with your fork. “I don’t know. It was pretty dumb of me to start crushing on our senior, right?” You laughed nervously, trying to play it off.

“I don’t think so,” he replied, opening a snack. “Feelings are complicated. We can’t control them.”

His eyes found yours, holding your gaze with an intensity that made your breath hitch. “I would know,” he whispered.

The sincerity in his voice and the way his eyes softened in the warm glow of your room made you quickly look away, your face heating up.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence. Unlike others who tried to console you by distracting you, Riki stayed, grounding you with his quiet presence. He didn’t try to fix anything. He simply let you exist, and it was exactly what you needed.

His eyes wandered, landing on a piece of paper on your desk. Curiosity piqued, he leaned forward to grab it.

“Don’t touch that!” you yelped, grabbing his arm to stop him.

In your haste, you accidentally pulled him toward you. He landed on top of you, and the room fell silent as the weight of the situation settled over you both. You expected him to pull away immediately, but he didn’t. Instead, his eyes met yours, searching, as if trying to understand what you were thinking.

Moments later, he lowered his head onto your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist in a loose hug.

“Riki…?” you whispered.

“Hm?” he hummed, his voice muffled.

“You’re squishing me,” you muttered.

He quickly sat up, brushing himself off and clearing his throat, his face flushed. He ran a hand through his hair before glancing back at you.

“Sorry—I don’t know what that was,” he said, his voice awkward as he got up. “I’ll, uh, head out so you can enjoy the food. No more skipping school, okay? They—we—miss you.”

He walked toward the door, pausing with his hand on the knob. “You left something in the bag,” he added with a small smile before stepping out.

Raising an eyebrow, you checked the bag again. At the bottom, you found a small blue box. Your heart raced as you picked it up, inspecting it carefully before opening it. Inside was a keychain you’d desperately wanted from the gift shop.

Underneath it, a folded note read:

I didn’t know how to give this to you, so yeah. Don’t lose it or I’ll beat you up. – N.R.

Your heart sped up as you held the keychain. How had he known you wanted this? You stood, conflicted thoughts swirling in your head.

At first, you thought Riki was cold and distant. But now, looking back at the past few months—the festival, the Ferris wheel, the way he held your gaze under the fireworks—you realized just how wrong you were. Riki… You overlooked him for too long.

Without another thought, you grabbed a coat and ran out the door. Had he really walked home in this weather without a jacket?

The icy night air stung your exposed skin, but you didn’t care. You sprinted down the street, your breath visible as you called his name in your head.

Riki walked slowly down the street, his thoughts lost until the sound of hurried footsteps pulled him back to reality. He turned, wide-eyed, as you stopped a few feet away, breathless and disheveled.

“Riki… it’s freezing. Are you an idiot?” you panted, draping your coat over his shoulders.

He blinked, startled, before laughing softly. “You chased me just for this?”

You pouted at his teasing, pulling the keychain from your pocket. “How did you know I wanted this?”

He froze, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I-I don’t know.”

“You do know. Why did you get it?”

“I… don’t know that either.”

“You know that too,” you said quietly, stepping closer. Your eyes flickered to his lips before meeting his nervous gaze.

The cold night air bit at your skin, your breath visible in soft clouds as you stood beneath the flickering streetlight. Riki’s hands found yours, his fingers warm despite the chill, and for a moment, he just looked at you—his gaze intense, pulling you in like gravity.

Without a word, he leaned in, the world falling silent except for the faint crunch of leaves under his shoes. His lips pressed against yours, soft and unhurried, yet full of unspoken emotion. The cold melted away in an instant, replaced by the warmth of him, his touch grounding you as his hand gently cradled your face.

Time felt like it stopped. It wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t tentative—it was deliberate, like he wanted to make sure this moment stayed with you forever. When he pulled back, his breath mingled with yours in the cold air, his forehead resting against yours, leaving you dizzy and breathless.

“Here, open your hand,” you said pulling away and he did questionably. He felt something being placed in his hand, he stopped admiring you and looked at his hand to see a keychain, similar to yours but a different color.

“When did you—“

“I returned my headband and bought it after the festival as a thank you for the incident in the ferris wheel, look, we can match!” You said grabbing his keychain and holding it next to yours.

He grinned at you, putting an arm over your shoulder to drop you off back home.

His keychain ended up being a keychain for two.

BONUS 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

“Ha! I told you, where is my money sunghoon~“ Sunoo exclaimed clapping his hands.

They promised Riki they would drive away after he was dropped off but.. Sunghoon decided to place a bet.

Sunghoon deadpanned as he watched you run out of the house to chase after Riki. “Okay, how was I supposed to know they liked each other with the way they were acting.” He grumbled giving Sunoo money.

Sunoo flapped the money in his hands smiling. “It was very obvious if you looked closely.”

[greenerteacups]

What did you think about Katara and Aang ending up together? Did you ship them or Zutara?

Also, if you watched The Legend of Korra, what did you think of that show’s treatment of Katara’s character?

My beloved friend in Christ, look me in the eye and tell me you don't know what I shipped when I watched that show. Look at me. You know. You know damn well.

AS FOR KATARA IN KORRA for me the key part of accepting her character shift in the second series is that she's supposed to be like 90. I don't know anybody who doesn't seriously chill out when they're 90. She's pretty much at the end of her life. Her husband's dead, her brother's dead, Toph fucked off to live in the swamp, Suki has been erased from the collective consciousness a la Spiderman, and ninety-something Zuko is off somewhere riding around the country on a DRAGON in full ceremonial garb, doing recon missions for the new avatar and hunting terrorists. (That last one is awesome, and I have no notes. That boy's doing what he's meant to. I still think they should kiss. But that's not a writing critique, that's just what my heart feels is true and good.)

More generally, the sequel series doesn't give us much of the passion or lovable high-handedness she had in the original, but she was also a teenager. I have to give the writing space to bend and stretch around a 70-year time jump, and that leeway includes the possibility that Katara majorly chills out once her home is no longer under imperial occupation and she's not regularly enlisted in armed combat to defend the fantasy Buddha. Or she just got it out of her system and tapped out around 30 to have kids and live luxuriously off whatever gratitude-annuities she gets from Every Nation In The World. I like to imagine she had some adventures in her 20's and 30's leading the reconstruction effort in the Earth Kingdom, made a reasonable contribution to the waterbending academies in Republic City, decided that she could leave the rest to Sokka and Toph, and went home to enjoy life at home in peacetime. It's not the most dramatic or glamorous life, but I never get the idea that Katara wants either of those things. I think girl did her part, got her happy ending, and decided to stay there. Frodo sailing West at the end of the book? Couldn't be her! The Shire was saved, but not for you? Nope! Not here! Not Katara! She can go back to the Shire, thank you very much! She freed her homeland from a century-long imperial occupation, and she's going to march her ass home and enjoy it, thank you! Fighting the Red Lotus? Leave a voicemail. She's out teaching all the girls in the village to throw ice spears the size of a pike. She will Catch You Guys Later.

I've heard complaints that it feels like Katara didn't have any role in the post-imperial reconstruction process, and while she maybe doesn't found an institution or get a formal position of power, I think the real complaint is that we don't know enough about her to say. All the other Gaang members have a Thing that sort of represents what their goals and values were after the end of the first series. Zuko was Fire Lord (and got a sickass fucking dragon), Toph started the Republic City police (admittedly unexpected Lawful Toph Moment), Sokka becomes a city councilor for R.C. and then Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, Aang refounds the Air Nomads and also is the Avatar for the next 70 years. Which are visible and lasting marks of impact that make it easy to imagine how the others spent their time. That doesn't mean Katara didn't spend her time doing worthwhile and productive things, but we don't see them. We do know that she got bloodbending outlawed in the United Republic, and she became a "master waterbender" who's called in to consult on Korra's development both in her capacity as a martial arts expert and in a broader strategic/political way as one of the premier living experts on what it takes to be the Avatar. We don't see her much, but we do get the idea that she has plenty of respect from the people who matter.

It makes me a little sad she's not included in some of the stories we hear about the postwar Gaang exploits, like Toph and Sokka's work in Republic City, or early clashes with the Red Lotus. She's the best waterbender in the world and you guys saved the world together as teenagers; it feels like she should've been riding shotgun on some of these missions. But I try to make peace with it on the grounds that if she's not out there hunting down terrorists, it's because she's tired, goddammit. She took down a dictatorship at 15. She's been ass-whooping fascists for longer than most characters in the show have been alive. Katara is too cool of a character for any lack of detail to make me think she wasn't doing stone cold shit well into her fifties.

[mud-castle]

What would your Lion King prequel be like?

Funny you ask that considering I was actually thinking about it in the shower earlier. Girl, buckle up, cause I have soooo many thoughts.

I had some personal rules that was mostly to adhere to the story they were trying to tell, not the story I personally would've wanted. So that includes keeping Mufasa and Scar as unrelated, Kiros as the villain, the whole Milele plotline, etc. So let's get to it

Spoilers Obviously:

First thing I'd do is change Taka's name. Taka means "trash" which is a fucked up name first of all but second of all doesn't make sense since both of his parents love him. I'd name him either Askari, as a mild nod to The Lion Guard and because Scar could easily come as a nickname from it; Inkosi which also means "king"; or Takasa meaning "to purify."

Secondly, I'd make Taka worse. Not evil yet, but a very spoiled, manipulative brat with a soft spot for Mufasa. Taka suddenly becoming a master deceiver because his father once told him that kings have to lie sometimes makes no sense. So he's just like that. I actually imagine he gets it from his mother since she needs more character than just being good. I'd show him getting into trouble with the animals within his father's territory because of his entitlement with Mufasa often having to act as a mediator.

Taka desires and expects to be king. Full Stop. No "oh I wish I was normal and could hunt with my mother." Would he be an atrocious king? Absolutely, but that doesn't matter since it's what he's owed for being a prince. There would have to be a balancing act between Taka's better and worse traits to keep him somewhat sympathetic.

With that in mind, he never falls in love with Sarabi. He honestly doesn't care much for her. But he wants her as his queen since he's a prince and she's a princess so that's just kind of how it goes. I imagine a scene where Mufasa is trying to see his logic and he's like "but don't you think you should...idk...love... her?" And Taka just raises an eyebrow. Sarabi genuinely can't stand his ass.

Speaking of Sarabi, I'd give her some actual character. I want her to be Mufasa's opposite but also compliment him. So I'd make him very open towards new things and other animals from his experiences wandering with his parents as a cub and push Sarabi's pride and pragmatism up to 11. Sometimes he's right, sometimes she's right, but they learn from each other. I'd like a scene of them together near the end plotting and putting together everything they've learned from each other, working as a unit. I'm removing the weird super senses Mufasa had.

Mufasa dearly needs a character arc, so i'm just gonna go the simple route of him learning to stand up for himself and against Taka sometimes. he's very submissive considering he's lived most of his life under Obasi and tends to be very lenient as a result. He still acts as mediator even after the two have to run and often ends up in the middle of arguments while trying to keep the peace. Keeping his head down has kept him alive. He learns that that will not fly sometimes and someone needs to take a stand and that someone has to be him.

Also I'd keep Kiros as a cannibal, cause God knows he needs something interesting going on. He's a character who loves to play with his food. Instead of being frustrated, he's having the time of his life tracking them down to take care of loose ends (Taka and later Sarabi too). I'd move his son's death to later in the film so we have some time to see their dynamic and really understand why he's so enraged by his death.

Most major change I'd have though is adding more lions to the traveling group:

I don't like how there were already lions at the Pridelands when the whole point was that it was a fairy tale story to give hope. It's kind of weird that there were lions already chilling there, makes the end of the journey feel less impactful.

So I'm taking those lions and making them refugees of Kiros's destruction (he also has a LOT more lions than in the movie) found along the way. This includes Sarafina cause why not. Taka is fully against taking them along as some of them are injured and will slow them down. Sarabi, hating to agree with Taka, is also hesitant, especially since they're being tracked, but she's sympathetic. Mufasa says he'll take the blame if anything happens and helps them, showing his compassion and leadership.

Rafiki joins them as a healer. He's still completely unconcerned with being eaten when they meet, but he has enough of an initial use for them to be given an actual reason to spare him. I imagine Sarafina was one of the injured lions picked up and he simply says she won't make it if they eat him. Her wound is infected and she's growing slower and weaker by the day. Mufasa decides to believe the questionably sane baboon and Rafiki helps her which cements his place in the group.

Taka needs something to do too, so I'm gonna let him be the brains of the outfit. He has 0 leadership skills, but he does have a lot of good ideas. But he often needs Mufasa to actually execute it. Or worse, he needs the other lions which means he needs Mufasa to convince them on his behalf since he cannot ask nicely to save his life.

He doesn't turn into an incel when Sarabi chooses Mufasa cause wtf, but he does feel his authority slipping day by day as Mufasa shows himself to be more of a leader. He sort of "allows" Mufasa to have Sarabi and tells him as much in a bid for some control.

He doesn't betray them to Kiros cause wtf. Instead Mufasa, for the first time, gives him a firm no about something. Taka is stricken, then gets angry and careless and storms off in a blizzard where he trips and falls down a snowdrift near where Kiros is. He panics and runs, unable to cover his tracks as the snowstorm ends and leading them to where the group is heading. Taka knows it's most likely his fault they got caught but like hell he'll admit that.

Throughout the movie, Taka gets worse. More argumentative, more irritated, more angry, more insecure. He loves Mufasa, but that love only seems to be present so long as he's subservient to him. There are moments where Mufasa breaks through to him briefly, showing that he could change, but he just doesn't want to. Taka never really sees Mufasa as an equal, even if he never calls him a stray or anything like Obasi did.

Taka also gets the unfortunate experience of being pummeled and toyed with by Kiros in the battle for the Pridelands until Mufasa slams in, allowing Taka to run. Then it's Mufasa's turn to get beaten. It's up to Sarabi, with her having to convince Taka to help her, to save him. This is the singular time the two manage to work together. Putting their heads together, they manage to save Mufasa.

After the fight, Mufasa sees Taka, there's relief and gratitude in his eyes as he starts to limp to him. We see Taka's eyes soften just a bit and it seems like maybe he'll close the distance. Then the rest of the lions come to praise Mufasa for leading them this whole time and convincing them to get rid of Kiros. Taka slips off somewhere unnoticed, his pride more wounded than ever.

Mufasa shakes off the group as quick as he can, but not quick enough to see where Taka went. He finds him eventually in a cave and is wary about the whole king thing and confides in him. Taka never quite faces him, but in a nutshell he tells him that he might as well accept the title (it goes unsaid that they wouldn't give the position to Taka anyway, but it's very implied). Mufasa moves to make another attempt to connect with his brother. Taka promptly shoots him down, saying something like "you should run along, you wouldn't keep your subjects waiting."

Mufasa reluctantly takes the dismissal and leaves. Taka stares after him in the dark, his eyes brighter and greener than ever with pure envy. Then Mufasa roars and all is good.

Also Mufasa's mom is dead dead. I don't see the point in her being alive.

Also also, take out Timon, Pumbaa, and Zazu. I could not stand them.

[pixelatedraindrops]

Yuma Month: Day 9: Love

I think that he forgot his love identity too… 💓💦

[ieidolon]

now that i'm playing dragon age: veilguard i understand hbomberguy so much better. think i could probably do a 3.5 hours long video called "dragon age: the veilguard is FINE and here's why"

[monster-noises]

There is part of my soul that is a little Party Boy who loves to go out to Events with Lots of People and Dance and Have A Good Time and

on account of the entire rest of my personailty and the friend groups that lands me in most often

I have essentially been starving him forever and so he's always very mad at me and there's not really a huge point to this post but I think it's one of the reasons i am as Problemed as I am.

[mister13eyond]

talking to a friend about getting back into art and i think the #1 most important piece of art advice i could ever get or give is just "figure out what is FUN to you"

like i think there is sooooo much emphasis on how to build SKILL in art but a lot of it really treats art like a job or like video game grinding, like it's this thankless job that you have to work at in order to reach a Threshold and i know it's not EASY to make yourself have fun but like

imo a solid 70% of the reason i create art is because the Act of Drawing is fun to me. it's fun problem-solving and planning and putting down lines and playing with colors and tools. it's fun to depict little scenes in my head or to create outfits or to find ways to fill the canvas. never forget that creating can be fun. sometimes it's hard and sometimes you have to battle through your own blockades to get there but the ultimate goal should always be to ENJOY it, to find what you enjoy doing and then do it forever. improvement will follow enjoyment.

i think especially with all the debate about ML image generation it's more important than ever to embrace FUN. if you're only focused on the end result it's so easy to get in your own head- to think about what doesn't look good or what skills you don't have yet or to compare yourself to other artists. but photography didn't kill the art of drawing and AI won't either because, simply put, there will always be people who want to do the physical act of making art because it's fun to do! using paints and markers, splashing colors around, doing shitty pen doodles, using the symmetry tool in your art program to do abstract mandalas that are just squiggles formed into patterns. do art like you're 5 and you've been handed markers to pass the time. do art like you're bored in class and you're keeping your brain entertained by drawing stick figure comics in the margins. do art like an absent thing, do art because it satisfies your brain. the goal is not to make something beautiful and perfect, the goal is to make something because your hands need to make and your body needs to make.

[non-un-topo]

Having conniptions in my room because I know I'm going to end up in grad school one way or another

[sillimancer]

re-learned a very important lesson about traveling with my parents today

[lemonbeemon]

Not to be sappy on main, but I will forever be a hater to people who say video games can't be a productive use of your time.

[tevatron]

i'm so glad i won't be working with my pi after this month. i think i've reached my limit. i just can't deal with her anymore

[misskamelie]

Anyway, I decided this academic year I will try to chill out and (most likely) not sign up for my master (i.e., I won't bother to run out of breath in an attempt to conclude my degree by the required deadline to sign up for my masters in a.y. 24-25). Will most likely spend this upcoming semester following a course so I don't have to do the work all by myself (+ get to actually interact and know the professor's teaching style) and consistently work on my thesis. Apart from that I will attempt to dedicate myself to music + fully get into this volunteering association I'm in (which might imply some trips around/abroad + lots of activities)