#i want to get my master's but i also feel like if i don't then i'm wasting something
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
It is like this in some other countries.
In Sweden, many 1st year students at university/college are just trying out to see what they want. It's not uncommon to change majors year 2. Some just start with what feels like a good course that's not even a part of a program. Others party their first term away.
I changed 3 times (Pedagogics, Computers & Speech Technology, Linguistics/Literature), got a double Bachelors (Linguistics & Literature), and nearly finished my Master's in the latter, and then came back 10 y after graduation to take another Bachelors degree in pedagogics. I also minored in Swedish, Gender Studies, and Genocide Studies, as well as an eclectic blend of added on courses. I studied all together, on and off, for 10 years. Didn't pay a single cent for the studies, but I took a student loan for living expenses the times I studied full time.
I'm thinking I'll finish my Master's at some point in between working as a teacher, since i enjoy studying. Or maybe when I retire. (I just don't like writing a Master's thesis: 80-100p on a short deadline doesn't work for me; I get too unfocused)
The point is that you never know what you want until you try. Sometimes, you'll return to things, other things you drop bc they weren't meant to be. There should be the freedom to try. To fail. And to find what you want to do.
You don't have to do as much as I did or love being a scholar, but you should be allowed to change your mind without going bankrupt.
college should be free so that the first time you go can just not count. that's just to test the waters. you should be able to be like "well that was weird! okay now this time for real"
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
lake house bunny (jack hughes x bsf!reader)
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
summary: kinda love triangle (quinn hughes), bsfs to lovers, smut with plot, quinn's new gf tries to get under your skin by pushing you and jack tg, pining (from jack), reader uses the nickname 'bunny', trevor and cole are heavily incorporated in the plot (bc who doesn't love them) warnings!! NSFW, heated makeout, fingering, cursing, drinking, angst, use of the word 'slut', quinn being an asshole a/n: first time writing NSFW ahh! (pls don't judge if u think its bad. I tried.) this has been sitting in my drafts forever. this kinda fits in with the lake house gc (if you like this you should def read those in my master list) BUT it's not canon in the series. I tried my hardest to not make reader seem like a pick me girl but I fear she kind of is. let me preface by saying, I DO NOT CONDONE SLUT SHAMING!! just bc ur jealous doesn't mean you have a right to talk shit on the new girl. also, I can't stand people who hate on other people for 'being too nice' but reader DEFINITELY has her reasons to be suspicious. anyways, happy reading :) -mars wc: 9.6k
“This is disgusting.” you sat on the boat, arms crossed next to Jack as you glared over at Quinn and his new girlfriend, Adelaide. He was driving the boat with her perched in his lap. Her hands wrapped around him, while he had one on the wheel with the other on her thigh. Your blood boiled at the sight. All you could think of was how much you longed to be the one wrapped around him like you used to.
“Yeah, she’s a slut.” Jack whispered into your ear, eliciting a soft laugh from you. You and Jack had always shared a close bond, one that felt especially strong in the lake house. He was your rock, the one person you could always rely on. Jack knew since you were kids how much you liked Quinn, and he couldn’t help gaining a jealous eye when he saw the two of you together. You never knew how much he actually cared about you, as you were too wrapped up in trying to get Quinn to even just look at you. Since you were teenagers, it’s felt like a game. Quinn would give you the smallest amount of attention and flirtation, then he would ignore you. The cycle repeated throughout every summer at the lake house. You let your arms fall to your side, glancing over to Luke trying to surf the wakeboard as Trevor and Cole cheered him on. You turned your attention to your feet, trying not to look at the eye sore that sat at the wheel.
You sighed, glancing over to Jack who had moved his sunglasses to the top of his head. “You know the worst part is, she’s not a slut. She’s really nice and funny. I actually like her, and I want to hate her so bad.” Jack gave you an empathetic smile, and you couldn’t help but gaze back at the couple. You rested your elbows on your knees, letting your face fall into your hands as you stared. Jack hated seeing you in this state, and he hated his brother more for making you feel like this. He didn’t actually hate his brother, but he couldn’t help but let his anger take over when Quinn was messing with you like this. Jack sighed, looking over to his brother who was laughing with Adelaide, probably about something that wasn’t nearly as funny as the things you said. He looked back to you who had sad eyes as you watched the scene in front of you.
Jack huffed his breath, causing you to turn your attention towards him. “Are you okay?” you asked softly, noticing the tension in his jaw as he turned to you, worry evident in his eyes.
“Yeah. I’m fine,” he replied, but you could tell he was anything but. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this.” Jack decided to do exactly what Jack Hughes was expected to do in the moment of his best friend’s misery. In a sudden burst of determination, he leaned over and pulled you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you in one swift motion.
“Jack, what are you doing?” You said with a soft smile, your body instinctively relaxing against him.
“Lifting your spirits.” He smiled, placing one hand on your back and the other on your thigh to pull you in closer. You moved one of your arms around his neck, your free hand landing on his bicep, grazing his bare skin with your thumb. The simple touch sent shivers through his body as he tried to keep himself content. You moved your head to look over to Quinn, but Jack grabbed your chin, shifting your gaze back to himself. “Don’t look at them. Look at me.” You graced him with a small half smile, as you leaned further into his touch. “Pretend I just said something funny.”
You rolled your eyes, your tone flat as you spoke. “Haha, Jack! You’re hilarious!” Jack cracked a smile and burst out laughing at your attempt to fake a laugh. Your laughs quickly went from fake to real in an instant. Jack blushed at the sound, pulling you in closer. The two of you carried on in conversation, laughing with each other, and you eventually found your head resting on his shoulder. You were being more touchy with him than normal, in an attempt to make Quinn jealous. Jack was fine with this, welcomed it even, but a part of him felt bad for playing into your vulnerability. While you were in the middle of animatedly telling Jack a story about work, Adelaide’s attention caught sight. She tilted her head and smiled, watching the two of you interact.
“They’re so cute together.” She remarked, drawing Quinn’s attention away from the water. He shifted his gaze, eyes darkening at the sight of you wrapped around his brother. He simply scoffed and returned his glare to the water, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was jealous watching the two of you touch each other like that. He was so used to having you follow him around like a puppy, he didn’t think about the consequences of bringing a girl to the lake house. He kept his eyes on the water trying his best not to look at the two of you, when he heard Adelaide's phone camera shutter.
“Did you just take a picture of them?” He asked, glancing over to her.
“Yeah, it’s just a cute photo. They’ll want it.” She brushed him off with her hand, pointing his sight back to the water.
“Okay. Just don’t post it or share it anywhere. They like to keep their personal lives private.” She agreed and the two of them went back to cuddling in the captain's chair. You were too wrapped up in Jack to even notice Quinn and Adelaide anymore. The two of you were laughing about old times, squeezed into each other. You couldn’t help but lean into the comfortable touch of Jack, who was holding you with such care. The way he rubbed his thumb against your skin and squeezed your thigh, made your body tingle in a way that it had never before. You and Jack were always touchy and affectionate with each other. It’s the kind of friendship you had, but it was never like this. This felt like Jack was being possessive, and you wouldn’t admit it, but you liked it. You noticed the way he would squeeze your thigh whenever he caught Quinn looking as if to say, “She’s mine. You can’t have her.” In his head, he thought no other man should be able to look at you on the boat like he did. He admired the way your skin shone from the sun under your baby blue bikini, the way your bun slightly tugged at your scalp when you laughed, and the way your cherry red lips smiled down at him when he said something cheeky. This beautifully painted picture was for him and him only. He wanted Quinn to know that. Even if he thought you were only doing this to get a rise out of Quinn, Jack looked at it as a distraction from the sadness of the situation for you. He felt a sense of protection over you from Quinn, being an audience member to your little routine every summer. He never wanted you to get hurt because even if he had deep feelings for you, you were still his best friend.
As the sun began to set, Quinn pulled the boat into the dock. He and Adelaide stepped off first, hand in hand, with Luke and Trevor following close behind. Cole walked over to you and Jack who had coincidentally fallen asleep on each other. His grip on your waist was still tight as you rested your head on his shoulder. His head had fallen onto yours, mouth parted slightly as the two of you slept peacefully. You were both rudely awakened by the sound of Cole clapping his hands together in front of your faces.
“Rise and shine dickheads.” You slowly opened your eyes, blinking to adjust to the sudden light. Jack woke up beneath you, rubbing his eyes as he unwrapped his arms from around you. You quickly got back on your feet, Jack following behind you as you both lazily stepped off the boat. “Gotta stay alive for the party, princess.” Cole placed his hands on your shoulders, guiding you off the dock. Jack walked closely, ready to snatch you away from Cole’s grip in a millisecond. He noticed the way you covered your arms with your hands as goosebumps grew across your body, without a thought behind his eyes he immediately handed you his warm shirt that had been drying under the sun for hours. You sent him a gratitude filled smile as you slipped on the shirt, feeling instantly warmer. Jack didn’t stop there, he put his arm around your waist, pulling you close, subtly hinting to Cole that this wasn’t a friendly touch anymore. Jack was actually trying to reel you in like he said he’d do years ago. The three of you broke off into your separate rooms to begin getting ready for the annual party thrown by Jack and Quinn. You were dreading the party this year, having to be crammed in the basement surrounded by Quinn’s teammates, you were just thankful that some of the Devils would be there too. As you stepped into the shower, you let the warm water entrap your body, washing away the weight of the day. You stayed still for a second just letting the shower pour down on you, grateful that your horrible boat ride had come to an end. Watching her and Quinn felt worse than actual torture. It wasn’t even the fact that you had feelings for him, because if you were being honest they weren’t extremely strong, it was the fact that he could be so loving and good to her and not you. For years Quinn has led you on and brought you down over and over again, and here he is playing wife and husband with some bunny he met on a roadie. I must be the problem, you thought to yourself, and unfortunately that idea would stick. You exited the shower, slipping a towel over your frame, leaving the bathroom quickly. You entered the bedroom only to see Adelaide sitting at the vanity curling her hair and doing her makeup. You had completely forgotten that you had to share a room with her this summer, considering Ellen and Jim wouldn’t let couples share rooms in their lake house. It didn’t matter if you were adults, the rules were if you aren’t engaged or married, you can’t sleep together.
“Oh hey, Y/n!” She turned her attention from the mirror over to you in your towel. You simply waved to her wearing an awkward smile. She was really nice, almost too nice. “You and Jack looked really cute on the boat today.”
“Thank you.” You mumbled, not knowing what else to say. You rushed to your dresser, pulling a pair of panties from the drawer before heading to the closet to grab your sundress. The silence was deafening and awkward. In her head, Adelaide wanted to talk to you, but she could sense your tenseness. You however, couldn’t speak to her. You were afraid that you would talk too much and accidentally let too much slip about you and Quinn, or maybe she would start talking about how great he was. That was bound to bring you to tears. You decided at that moment to exit the room, feeling uncomfortable undressing in front of her. Sure, she was a girl, but you barely knew her, and the thought of her judging you made your whole body cringe. You left the room, wrapped in your towel, walking through the halls until you made your way to Jack’s room. You knocked on it twice before hearing a faint “Come in.” Pushing the door open, you found Jack, Cole, and Trevor sprawled out on the bed, their attention fixed on their phones. They were already dressed in their clothes for the party, and you couldn’t help but notice how sharp Jack looked in his fitted white polo and jeans, his hair slightly tousled. You stomped over to the bed, tossing your clothes onto the floor before flopping down on the edge next to Cole’s feet, resting your head against Jack’s thigh.
“What's got you down, Bunny?” Trevor asked, tearing his gaze from his screen.
You sighed dramatically, covering your face with your hands. “I hate her.”
“Hate who?” Cole questioned, glancing over.
“Quinny’s new girlfriend.” Jack said, running a hand over your wet hair. “You don’t hate her, B. You told me yourself.”
“Ugh! But I want to!” You flopped your arms down in frustration. “It’s just so frustrating.” You sat up to face Jack, making sure your towel was securely wrapped around you. “Do you know how difficult it is to watch someone that's hurt you over and over again, treat some random person like she’s his wife right in front of you?”
Jack laughed, pulling your towel up to your chest that had slightly fallen down. “Can’t say that I have. Not the universal experience you think it is.” You rolled your eyes, pouting your lips slightly at Jack’s absence of understandment.
“Yeah, why don’t you go talk to Addy about it.” Trevor said her name mockingly which caused you to whip your head over to him.
“Say her name again.” You warned, squinting your eyes at him.
Trevor’s face flushed quickly as he tried to quickly pull himself from the situation “Addy.” He said normally.
“Nuh uh. That’s not how you said it!” You shifted your body closer to Trevor, now invading his space. “You don’t like her!” Trevor’s eyes widened in fear.
“T-that's not true. I like everyone! Everyone is my friend.” He let out a nervous laugh before widening his eyes again at the sight of your stare. You stared at him intimidatingly with a small smile, knowing he would eventually crack. “Fine! I don’t like her!” Trevor buried his face in his hands.
“Yes!” You exclaimed, throwing your arms up in triumph as groans emerged from Jack and Cole.
“Great going, Trev. Told you not to say anything.” Cole smacked the side of Trevor’s head.
“You’re just feeding into her delusions.” Jack huffed out.
“Well, you guys are both fine with her, I can’t stand her! Apparently, Bunny can’t either, so allies.” You gave Trevor a fist bump, earning more groans from the boys. “I-I can’t help it! She cornered me and talked about her new Dior makeup set for like an hour!”
You gasped in disbelief “She uses dior?” Trevor nodded his head with wide eyes. “That rich skank!”
“Exactly! Then, she starts bragging to me about all the things Quinn buys her, like I'm supposed to be jealous. ME. TREVOR ZEGRAS.”
You let out a slight laugh, now lying against the headboard in between Trevor and Cole. “Oh my god. She sucks.”
“No, no, no, no.” Jack interjected. “Bunny, Trevor is filling your head with garbage.” Jack scoffed, sending Trevor a glare before turning his attention back to you. “You’re only saying this stuff because he’s giving you a reason. You know that when you start talking to her again, you’ll forget this conversation ever happened and you’ll be back to being sad because you like her so much.” You whipped your head back over to Jack, indignation written all over your face.
“You called her a slut on the boat!” You pointed at him, gasps escaping from Trevor and Cole.
“Wh- I Di- I was trying to make you feel better!” Jack whisper yelled. Cole shifted in his seat, becoming more interested in the conversation.
“Jacky doesn’t like her either!” Trevor began to laugh, causing a smug smile to wipe across your face. “Admit it, Hughes. You don’t like your big brother’s ‘slut’ girlfriend.” Trevor let out, moving closer to you on the bed.
“She just seems…” He sighed, trying to collect his thoughts. “Too good to be true. Like she’s too nice.” You clapped your hands together in excitement, sitting up in your seat.
“That’s exactly what I'm talking about! It seems fake!” You yelled.
Jack rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help chuckling. “Like, I handed her a drink from the cooler and she said ‘Thank you so much Jack! This is amazing. You’re the best ever.’ Who is that happy to drink a Whiteclaw?” He mocked her voice with a high-pitched tone.
“She just seems too polished,” Trevor added, nodding his head. “Like she’s trying to win the girlfriend of the year award.”
Cole leaned back tossing a glance at you “Yeah you wouldn’t catch her dead hanging out with us on the bed in a towel.” You shifted from your position off the bed, signaling the boys to cover their eyes so you could get changed. You turned around, dropping the towel before putting on your dress.
“No, I get it, Jack. She came up to me before we got on the boat, looked me up and down, and said ‘ugh I wish I had your confidence’” Several “oooh”s and hisses from the teeth emerged from the boys. “I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but looking back it was pretty backhanded.” You said, slipping the straps of your dress up to your shoulders.
“How do I look?” You asked, spinning around as the boys uncovered their eyes, jaws dropping at the sight of you in your checker-patterned red dress. Trevor let out a low whistle as Cole clapped his hands in approval. Jack's gaze lingered over you for a moment longer. His eyes tracing up and down the dress that he had bought you last year on your birthday, wanting nothing more than to rip it off. You walked back over to the bed and Jack quickly sat up, taking the hem of your dress in his hand.
“You look beautiful as always.” He sent you a smile that made your heart race in an instant. Cole and Trevor side exchanged knowing glances with a slight smirk at the interaction. You smiled down at him, ruffling his hair as your cheeks flushed.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
An hour into the party, things were finally starting to settle in. You had taken shot after shot, doing your best to forget about the simmering situation in front of you. Quinn and Adelaide were sitting on the couch, arms wrapped around each other as they talked to Elias and Brock. That used to be you. You loved those guys and you missed talking to them, but they were Quinn’s friends, not yours. You were too drunk to even care when Luke pulled you away from your glare to a clearer area of the room. Everything was a blur. You were all smiles and laughs as Luke pulled you closer to him to dance to Pink Pony Club. You were on aux of course, the boys knew it was the only way you would have it. Luke had one hand on his beer and the other on yours as he spun you around. You laughed gracefully as you flopped against him while he jumped around. He set his beer on the table next to him, taking both your hands in his as he moved your arms back and forth. He stuck his tongue out as he jumped, moving closer as you laughed, leaning into him.
“Hey! is that girl looking at us?” He yelled into your ear, picking his beer up from the table.
You looked over your shoulder to see a small brunette girl who was eyeing Luke as she took a sip of her drink.
“Yeah.” You yelled back, a smile growing across your face at Luke’s excitement. “Go get em’ Lukey!” You pushed him away, towards the girl. He immediately got flustered and whatever drunk confidence he had, had suddenly left his body entirely as he went to speak to her. You laughed at the interaction and made your way towards the kitchen, settling yourself next to Nico the moment you caught sight of him. You hopped onto the counter, Nico having to spot you with his hands as you stumbled. You grabbed the side of his head, pulling his ear close to your lips.
“Grab me another drink?” You asked loudly. Nico turned to face you, laughing at your eyes that were lazily falling closed.
He placed a hand on your shoulder, trying to give you some sense of reality. “How about a water?” You grinned wide and nodded your head slowly at him. He smiled and walked off to get you a glass. You stayed on the counter, letting your gaze fall to Quinn and Adelaide yet again. They were standing in a circle, his arms wrapped around her as she chatted with Bella Boeser. You had always been good friends with Bella at social events like these. The two of you would manage to find each other and chat in a corner while Quinn and Brock were off entertaining their friends. It occurred to you in that moment, Bella hadn’t come up to you at all tonight. She seemed much more interested in Adelaide and her attempts at kindness. You felt a wave of sadness wash over you as you realized that this girl was quite literally taking everyone from you.
“Stop gawking over the Canucks.” Nico walked up, handing you the water before draping an arm around your shoulders. “Being a Devils girl is way better.” You laughed at what you assumed to be an attempt at flirtation, but you were very wrong. “You're lucky your boyfriend is on our team and not theirs.” You nearly spit out the water in your mouth, turning your head to Nico with a stern look.
“Boyfriend? W-what? I don’t have one of those.” You said softly, worry filling your eyes.
“Wait, wait what? You and Jack aren’t-”
“No, why would you think that?” You cut him off loudly, playing with your necklace anxiously. Nico looked at you with wide eyes, tilting his head to the side.
“Uh- the post. I thought it was like a hard launch or something. Doesn’t look too friendly to me.” He laughed. Your eyes grew wider in fear, your mouth parting slightly as your heart beat faster.
Your grip on your necklace tightened as fear struck through your entire body. “Nico, w-what the hell are you talking about? What post?” Nico motioned towards your phone that sat on the counter next to you. You quickly picked it up, handing it over to him after unlocking it. Nico scrolled, and you bit your lip nervously, growing anxious to know what he was talking about. He handed the phone back to you, letting your eyes fall to a clear picture of you sitting on Jack’s lap laughing on the boat, his hands wrapped around your body. You stared down at the screen, heart racing as the realization sank in. The photo was up there for the world to see, one that you don’t even remember taking. Jack's arms wrapped around you, looking too comfortable to be “just friends”. You turned your attention to the top of the screen, seeing that it was Adelaide who posted the photo. Your blood boiled over your anxiety filled body, knowing that it was common knowledge that you and Jack preferred your personal lives to be private. “I-I-I gotta go. Thank you for the water.” You hopped off the counter, leaving your cup next to Nico. You quickly made your way through the swarm of people that filled the basement, looking for Jack. You pushed your way through the crowd, ignoring the curious stares and whispers. Your pulse was thundering through your ears as you made your way to the far side of the basement, where you last saw Jack. Finally, you spotted him leaning against the wall with Jesper and Curtis, laughing and entirely oblivious to the picture Adelaide posted.
“Jack” You called out, his smile faltering at the sight of your facial expression.
“What's up?” He asked, moving away from his friends to meet you halfway. You didn’t waste any time. You grabbed his hand and dragged him up the stairs. He didn’t know what was going on, but he could sense your worry so he followed you immediately. You made your way through the upstairs hall until you finally made it to his room. You pushed him inside, quickly shutting the door behind you.
“Bunny, what’s going on?” Holding up your phone, you shoved it into his hand so he could see Adelaide’s post. His face shifted through a range of emotions. Confusion, surprise, and finally a hint of frustration. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply, as he planted himself on the edge of the bed. “Are you kidding me? She posted this?” He groaned.
You nodded, crossing your arms. “And now everyone is going to think we’re together. Nico already thought you were my boyfriend.” A hint of sadness behind your voice.
“There is something wrong with that woman.” Jack huffed out, rubbing his neck. You sat down next to him, holding his arm and leaning your head on his shoulder. He leaned into your touch, placing his head on top of yours. “I’m so sorry. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Before you could respond, there was a knock on the door. The two of you turned and the door opened slightly before Trevor and Cole poked their heads inside, their faces a mix of curiosity and amusement.
“You two good in here?” Trevor asked, eyebrows raised as he looked between the two of you.
“Can we get five minutes without the two of you barging in?” Jack rolled his eyes as Trevor and Cole settled themselves in the room, shutting the door behind them.
“Five minutes, huh? That’s all you need?” Cole grinned, leaning against the wall.
Jack groaned, throwing his hands up “Seriously, dude?” Trevor made his way over to Jack, leaning over his shoulder to see the phone. He squinted his eyes slightly, trying to get a better look.
You looked up at Trevor, letting go of Jack’s arm. His eyes were wide and his mouth gaped open as he looked at the phone. “Holy shit.”
“What? What is it?” Cole asked, pushing himself from the wall to get a good look. He took the phone from Jack’s hand, pulling it closer to his eyes. “Oh my god. Did you even know she took this?” You shook your head, biting your lip ever so slightly. Jack huffed his breath, standing up to face Cole and Trevor.
“This is bullshit.” He said, taking the phone from Cole’s hand. “I’m gonna talk to Quinn.” Jack started making his way to the door before you quickly stepped in front of him, placing a hand on his chest. You could feel his heavy breaths, the way his chest moved up and down in a pattern you’d never seen before.
“No, wait,” You said, your voice quiet. “Let me talk to her first. I’m sure she just didn’t know, let’s not throw her under the bus.” You looked up at Jack with pleading eyes, taking your phone from his hand.
Behind you, Trevor crossed his arms as he shook his head. “Don’t defend her-”
“I’m not defending her.” You cut him off, your voice raising slightly. “I-I’m just saying, let’s not snitch. Let me talk to her, woman to woman. I’m sure she’ll take it down.” Jack let out a heavy sigh, stepping back slightly to silently give you permission to talk to her. You nodded your head, glancing over to Trevor and Cole with a small smile before making your way out of the room. You didn’t realize how drunk you truly were until you started making your way down the hall. The adrenaline of seeing the post had sobered you up, but only for a split second. You stumbled your way down the stairs, your grip on the railing firm as the room began to spin around you. You stood at the bottom step, scanning the basement for Adelaide. You finally found her standing by the kitchen counter, her blonde hair now tied in a low bun to reveal her gorgeous collarbone. You pouted slightly, seeing how perfect she looked knowing that you were a hot, drunk mess. You made your way towards her, repeating affirmations to yourself as you built up your confidence. When you reached her, a smile grew across her face almost immediately.
“Hey, Y/n!” She exclaimed, her tone happy. “I haven’t seen you all night.” You sent her a sheepish smile, anxiously playing with your necklace again.
You brushed a piece of hair behind your ear, trying to find that confidence you were meant to have. “I know! It’s so crazy in here.” You let out a forced laugh, trying to hide your nervousness, which she mirrored quickly. “Listen, I gotta talk to you about something.” She tilted her head, sending you a closed mouthed smile as she reached for her drink. She took a sip, silently waiting for you to speak. “This um…this picture you posted of me and Jack. I-I know you mean well, but we do like to keep that part of our lives private.”
Adelaide placed her drink on the counter, her eyes widening as she covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh my! I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” You let out a sigh of relief and a teeth-showing smile at her response.
“It is totally fine.” You said, letting out a relieving laugh. “Just, with the media it’s kind of hard.”
She nodded her head, gracing you with a smile. “I totally understand that.” Your smile grew wider, wondering why this was so hard for you to do in the first place.
“Yeah, so if you could just take it down-”
“Oh, no.” She cut you off. Your smile quickly faded as you stared at her. Her fake smile still plastered on her face.
You let out a nervous laugh, gripping onto your necklace. “I-I…uh.” You paused, clearing your throat. “What?”
She picked her drink back up, raising her eyebrows. “It looks good on my instagram. Plus, you and Jack look super cute. Don’t stress it.” She laughed, letting her grin go wide. “There’s so many pictures of you and Quinn on the internet, so what’s one with Jack?” She shrugged her shoulders passive aggressively as she walked away into the crowd. You were left standing there in pure shock. Your mouth dropped, your arms falling limp to your side as you tried to process what just happened. The tension in your chest tightened as her words replayed in your mind. The dismissiveness, the fake sweetness masking her clear intentions, it hit you like a gut punch. You were rooted to your spot, staring at where she’d disappeared in the crowd. Your fingers still toyed with your necklace, a nervous habit you couldn’t seem to shake. She was jealous. You’d never even thought of the idea that maybe Adelaide would be a little shaken up by staying in the house with her boyfriend’s childhood fling. You assumed Quinn kept his mouth shut about the two of you, considering he never cared about you that much. What did he tell her? What could he have possibly said to her that would make her want to put you and Jack on blast to the internet?
Suddenly, you felt a pair of hands land on your shoulders. “How’d it go?” You heard Cole’s voice shout through your ear, but still not enough to knock you from your state. You couldn’t even move to look at him, your gaze centered on the crowd.
“I-um…” You cleared your throat. “She said no.” You said flatly.
Cole moved his head closer to yours, glancing at you with a side eye. “No?” You knocked yourself out of your daze, turning fully to face him.
“She’s jealous.” You said quietly, leaning in closer so he could hear you. “Said there’s so many photos of me and Quinn, so why not have one with Jack.” Cole’s mouth gaped open in shock, no one expecting her to say no. He was speechless, unaware of what to say in this moment. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted Jack walking closer, a stern expression on his face. You let out a sigh of defeat, waiting for him to walk over.
Jack could sense the tension as he stared between you and Cole. “What happened?” He asked, the sentence coming out more as a statement than a question. You crossed your arms, your fingers digging into your sides as you glanced at Cole. He still looked too stunned to speak, his mouth opening and closing like he was trying to find words that just wouldn’t come. Jack’s gaze didn’t waver from you, his brow furrowed in concern as he waited for your answer.
“She said no,” You finally said, your voice flat and devoid of emotion. You clenched your jaw, betraying your anger that simmered just below the surface.
Jack blinked, his confusion quickly shifting to irritation. “She what?”
“She’s jealous.” Cole interrupted, his words finally making their way out. “She’s using you to show people that Bunny’s with you and not Quinn…I think?” Jack stared at you for a moment, processing what Cole just said. Then he muttered a curse under his breath, running a hand through his hair as he turned slightly away, his frustration evident in every movement. “Unbelievable.”
“Hey, guys!” Quinn yelled from the couch, turning down the music. You clenched your jaw at the sound, watching Trevor walk up behind Cole. “Come over here with us.” You scanned the couch seeing Adelaide, Quinn, Brock, and Bella all squished onto the couch. Nico and Jesper sat next to each other on the floor while Elias sat across from them. Luke pranced his way to the big chair, pulling the brunette from earlier down with him. You bit the inside of your cheek, not knowing what to do at this moment.
“What’d I miss?” You heard Trevor whisper into Cole’s ear.
“Not good.” Cole mumbled back.
You jolted slightly at the feel of Jack’s hand intertwining with yours. He took a sip from his beer bottle before pulling you to the living area with him, Trevor and Cole following close behind. Everyone in the room had their gaze centered on the four of you as you silently made your way over. Quinn was staring especially hard at your hand intertwined with Jack’s. He let go of your hand to allow you to take your seat on the floor in between himself and Trevor. The room felt like it was holding its breath, everyone’s gaze locked on you and Jack as you sat down. The tension was palpable, thick enough to cut with a knife. You couldn’t help but notice the way Quinn’s jaw tightened, his hand resting on the back of the couch near Adelaide but clenched just enough to betray his irritation. Your eyes darted around the room, trying not to make eye contact with anyone as the anxiety rose through your body.
Quinn cleared his throat as he shifted in his seat. “We’re gonna play truth or dare,” He said, causing Jack’s eyebrows to knot. “Addy’s idea.” You glanced over to Adelaide who sent you a shit eating grin, like she had you in this perfect trap designed specifically for you.
“Isn’t this a kids game?” You said, taking a sip of Jack’s beer bottle.
Quinn scoffed, rolling his eyes slightly before looking back at you. “It’ll be like old times.” You felt a lump in your throat as your heart dropped, but you were quick to swallow it down. Jack’s arm moved to cross behind your back, not quite making contact with your skin, but it was enough to make your heart race. Quinn went first, daring Brock to take three shots in under ten seconds which he failed miserably at. Brock asked Elias to tell the story of how he lost his virginity.
“I was fifteen, after a school dance in my car. It was terrible.”
Elias asked Luke to tell the craziest story about Quinn in high school.
“Well when Bunny was sixteen-”
“He said tell a story about Quinn, not Bunny.” Jack was quick to interrupt at your defense. Luke told a story about Quinn getting drunk and trying to climb up the house to his bedroom window. Luke then dared Trevor to let him draw a dick on his face, which Trevor was drunk enough to be excited about. You laughed hard when Trevor turned to face you, a realistic looking cock on his forehead with the cheesiest grin you’d ever seen. Trevor asked Cole to tell the room his celebrity crush.
“Weak question. Meryl Streep. Love a good gilf.”
“Gross, Cole.”
Cole dared Nico to share his last google search with the group.
“Nico Hischer sexy tweets? That’s insane.”
Nico turned to Adelaide, who picked truth. He asked her what the most expensive gift Quinn had bought her was, and her eyes beamed like this was the question she’d been dying to answer.
“Probably my Louboutins.”
Your heart dropped when her gaze centered on you, a smug smile wiped across her face. You kept your expression stern, wanting to show her that you weren’t intimidated.
“Truth or Dare?” She asked, a hint of aggressiveness behind her voice.
You took another sip of Jack’s beer, letting your legs come uncrossed as you leaned back on your hands. “Dare.” Jack, Trevor, and Cole all let out small but noticeable sighs. They knew you only said dare because you were drunk and determined, and they all wished you would just keep your mouth shut at that moment.
Adelaide let out a soft laugh, like she had you exactly where she wanted. “I dare you…” She paused, letting her words hang in the air knowing it would cause you more anxiety. “No-” She said, causing your brows to furrow. “I dare you and Jack,” The words sent a shiver down your spine, knowing you couldn’t back out. “To go into the closet for seven minutes in heaven.” Jack groaned quietly as you bit the inside of your cheek. The circle boomed with laughs and whistles. Everyone had a smile plastered on their face except for you, Jack, Cole, Trevor, and shockingly Quinn. The laughter and whistles of the group felt deafening as Adelaide’s smug expression deepened. Jack shifted uncomfortably beside you, running a hand through his hair as his cheeks flushed.
You exhaled sharply, masking your nerves with a nonchalant shrug. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.” Your voice was steady, but your heart was racing as you stood up. Jack’s eyes flickered to yours for a brief moment, searching your face for some kind of reassurance or escape. Finding none, he reluctantly stood too, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Seven minutes,” Adelaide chirped with a saccharine sweetness, glancing at her phone as she set the timer. “Don’t keep us waiting.” The closet door swung open, and you stepped inside, Jack following closely behind. The space was tight, filled with jackets that smelled faintly of cologne and laundry detergent. The door clicked shut, plunging you into darkness save for a thin sliver of light from the bottom. Not being able to see in the darkness, you pulled out your phone.
“What are you doing?” Jack asked, his tone curious as his frame towered over you.
You bit your nails, opening up messages. “Texting the groupchat.”
You: okay it’s official i hate this bitch.
Cole: You should see the smile on her face rn
Trevor: Yeah she looks like pennywise kinda
You: just glad me and trevor were right for once 🥳
Trevor: Me and Cole will try to brainstorm some good revenge plots
Cole: Yeah you guys just thug out your seven minutes
Trevor: In heaven
Jack: Fuck off Trevor.
You sighed, putting your phone in your pocket. The room was dark again as you and Jack stood, facing each other. The closet was tiny and you didn’t realize how close the two of you were until you felt his breath on your forehead. It sent shivers down your spine almost immediately as you tried to keep yourself content. The tension in the closet was palpable as the soft sound of Jack shifting his weight echoed in the cramped space. You felt his hesitation as much as your own, the unspoken words swirling between you like a storm. His breath, warm and close, made your stomach twist in a way you couldn’t quite decipher.
“I don’t know what to do…” You let out. “in this weird situation with her.” Jack let out a hard sigh, which you felt against your skin.
“Just- don’t think about it.” He said gently, his hand hovering over yours. “Use this time as your distraction from the night.” He had fully enveloped your hand at this point, slowly moving closer towards you. You couldn’t see, but his face was plastered with a bright red tint when you began rubbing circles against his hand. The sounds of laughter erupted from the living room, muffled but still noticeable. In just two seconds, all that noise faded into the background as you felt Jack squeeze your hand. You could feel the heat from his body as he moved closer, your chests almost clashing together.
“I-Is this weird?” You asked, your voice just barely above a whisper as you felt yourself gravitating towards him.
“Is what weird?” He mumbled. You felt your breath hitch as your faces now sat merely inches apart. You stood on your tiptoes, trying to get closer.
“This.” You whispered, your lips so close to touching as Jack moved an unexpected hand to your waist, a touch that sent hard palpitations to your heart.
Jack let out another breath, his thumb now tracing circles against your hip. “Does it feel right?”
You bit your bottom lip, shutting your eyes at the feeling of his voice vibrating against your face. “Mhm,” You let out, nodding your head.
“Then, no. It’s not weird.” He whispered, ghosting his words against your lips. The hand that was holding yours moved up to your face, cupping it gently. Your stomach twisted at the touch, gently leaning in closer. Your knees closed together, as if keeping them open would unleash every sexual feeling that had been building up for the past ten years. You felt your heart almost beat out of your chest as Jack finally closed the space between the two of you, placing a gentle kiss on your lips. It was hesitant at first, like he was waiting for your permission, but you quickly kissed him back, biting his bottom lip gently. Endless hours of flirtatious teasing, watching you swoon over Quinn, it all led up to this moment. The kiss quickly grew hungrier as Jack’s hands pulled you closer by your waist, tasting every lick of the satisfaction he’d yearned for all these years. Your hands moved to the back of his neck, letting your fingers explore his hair as he moved closer against you. The kiss was slow at first, but quickly intensified when you felt his tongue swipe your bottom lip. You opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to enter as he devoured every inch of you. He pushed you up against the wall, his pelvis absentmindedly grinding against you which caused a slight moan to escape from the back of your throat. You felt your stomach tingle as a flood rushed to your panties, moving your hands to grip his shirt. Jack’s lips moved in a way that was perfectly catered to you, like it was something you needed but never knew. His hands made their way up your body, one settling on your back to cradle you. His tongue pushed further into your mouth, almost reaching towards your throat. His other hand found its way to your thigh, slowly reaching up your dress to toy with the string of your underwear, twisting it with his finger against your skin. He pulled back only the slightest amount, his lips ghosting yours. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” He whispered against your lips, the feel of his breath causing you to shudder, growing hungrier by the second. You weren’t thinking about Adelaide or Quinn, your mind was only on Jack and how bad you realized you wanted him.
“I need you.” You whispered back, your lips growing dry from his absence. “Please,” Jack didn’t waste any time before crashing his lips back onto yours, moving more intensely than before. The kisses became sloppy, like he was starving for this feeling his entire life. His fingers made their way down, just barely touching your folds through the fabric of your panties. You let out a heavy breath through the kiss, silently begging him to keep going as he teased you slightly. He bit down on your bottom lip as he moved the fabric to the side, revealing every inch of yourself. You whined slightly at his touch, finding yourself in this moment of vulnerability you’d never expected to have with Jack. His finger lightly brushed over your heat, testing the waters as you ran your hand through his hair to pull him closer.
“Can I-”
“Yes, please.” You said eagerly before pulling his lips back onto yours. Jack moved his hands to the strings of your panties, slowly pulling them down to your shaking knees, not removing his lips from yours once. Your hand was now fully tangled in his hair, the other on his back to pull him closer. Jack wasted no time before allowing a finger to enter your cunt, feeling the wetness that was made just for him. You let out a soft, quiet whimper against his lips as he gently explored your walls. He pumped his finger in and out slowly, removing his lips from yours to plant kisses on your neck. You leaned your head back, breathing heavily as his thumb made contact with your clit. “Jack,” You whispered. Never in your life did you expect to have any part of him inside of you, but now that you were here, you couldn’t imagine your life without it.
“You have no idea what this fuckin’ dress does to me.” He mumbled softly against your skin.
“Fuck.” You let out quietly as he entered another finger, filling you in just the right way. Your fingers tugged at his hair, pulling him closer as his motions grew faster. Your legs locked around his fingers, his other hand finding its way under your dress to your breast. He continued pumping in and out of you, his thumb circling your clit as he reconnected his lips with yours. He felt your insides, like it was a forbidden place he’d been waiting so long to explore. His hand made its way under your bra, squeezing your breast gently. You tried to silence yourself, but it was becoming more and more difficult with every thrust of his fingers. You felt yourself reaching peak, which was shocking in such a small amount of time. Something about the way Jack moved around your body, touching every spot in the exact right spot. “I’m gonna come.” You whispered, pulling back slightly.
He grinned as he moved his mouth down to your collarbone, placing gentle kisses across your neckline. “Let go for me, bunny.” His motions intensified, your breaths growing heavier by the second. He nibbled slightly against your skin, but not enough to leave marks. You let out a quiet moan as you finally released your juices around his fingers, letting him ride you out until the end of your climax. Your chest rose and fell heavily as Jack removed his fingers, taking them to his mouth. Both of you wished you could see each other’s faces at this moment, but the closet was pitch black. Years of suppressed feelings you didn’t even know you had, all spilled out onto Jack Hughes’ fingers. He moved his hands down to your knees to pull up your panties, your hands still tangled in his hair. “You alright?” He asked, his voice quiet but audible.
You removed your hands from his hair, letting your body fall back on the wall. Your breathing was still heavy, but you managed to speak. “Yeah,” You whispered. “I-I’m good- that was…” You paused for a second, your face quickly capturing a wide grin. “That was amazing.” Jack let out a sigh of relief, a smile growing on his face as he leaned in to kiss you again. It was gentle, allowing it to last for only a few seconds.
He pulled back, his hand coming up to cradle your face. “Listen, Bunny-”
“Seven minutes is up!” The door jolted open, causing you and Jack to quickly separate as Trevor stood in the doorway. He glanced between the two of you, a wide smile growing across his face as he took in the sight. You both looked rough, your hair messy, clothes not exactly straight. He let a small laugh escape his lips as he held the door open. “No way.” Was all he said before Jack rolled his eyes, giving Trevor a hit to the shoulder as he made his way back to the living room. You stood there in shock, running a hand through your now frizzy hair as you looked at Trevor. “That good, huh?” He asked, a sly grin across his face. You rolled your eyes, throwing your hair up into a ponytail as you made your way out of the closet.
“Shut up, asshole.” You mumbled, causing a giggle to erupt from Trevor. Trevor’s laugh followed you as you stepped back into the circle, your cheeks burning under the weight of everyone’s stares. You refused to meet Adelaide’s gaze, knowing her smug smile was probably plastered across her face. Instead, you focused on Jack, who had taken a seat on the couch and was pointedly scrolling through his phone, avoiding eye contact with anyone. You sighed, wanting him to look up for just one second, but his entire face was red and his lips were puffing out. “So,” you broke the silence. “Who's next?”
Quinn looked up at you, biting the inside of his cheek as Adelaide shifted her weight onto him. “I’m going to bed.” He said flatly before leaving his spot on the couch, Adelaide following close behind, giving you a wink before walking up the stairs. The tension in the air was thick as you took a seat next to Jack, his arm absentmindedly draping over your shoulders which caused your heart to drop. Cole and Trevor both had wide eyes, looking at you and Jack, then to each other. Little by little, everyone made their way out of the house, the party simmering down as you and Jack stayed in your own little world. He scrolled through his phone as your eyes grew tired, falling asleep against his body. Luke took his new ‘friend’ up to his room by the end of the night, Bella and Brock left shortly after with Elias following behind, then finally Jesper and Nico passed out on the floor of the kitchen. It was just you, Jack, Cole, and Trevor left downstairs. The living room had quieted down to the faint hum of music playing in the background and the occasional clink of empty bottles being cleaned up. Jack’s arm remained draped over your shoulders, his phone still glowing in his hand as he scrolled absentmindedly. You felt his warmth against your side, your head resting against him as your eyelids grew heavier. Across the room, Trevor and Cole exchanged another round of wide-eyed glances, their smirks only growing. Trevor leaned closer to Cole and muttered something, and Cole stifled a laugh, though it wasn’t quiet enough to go unnoticed.
“What’s so funny?” Jack asked, his voice calm but with a hint of annoyance as he finally glanced up from his phone.
“Oh, nothing,” Trevor replied, feigning innocence, but his grin betrayed him. “Just… didn’t expect you two to get so close tonight.”
Jack rolled his eyes but didn’t move his arm from around you, a fact that clearly wasn’t lost on Trevor. “Grow up, Zegras.”
Trevor yawned dramatically, standing up and stretching. “Well, I think that’s my cue to crash. Try not to do anything weird while I’m asleep, you two.”
“Go away, Trevor,” you muttered, leaning in closer to Jack’s side. His hand moved to your shoulder, stroking soothing circles with his thumb.
“You wanna go to bed, Bunny?” He asked quietly, leaning his head against yours. You nodded your head slightly, sitting up to let Jack stand. Jack stood up, offering you a hand to help you off the couch. His movements were slow, almost hesitant, as if he didn’t want to disturb the calm bubble the two of you had created. You took his hand, your legs a little wobbly from the unspoken moment in the closet as you followed him toward the stairs. Behind you, Cole gave a low whistle, and Trevor made a mockingly loud kissing sound. “Goodnight, children,” Jack deadpanned, throwing a pillow in their general direction without even turning around. You couldn’t help but grin, shaking your head as you climbed the stairs behind Jack. Once you reached the hallway, the noise of Trevor and Cole’s laughter faded, leaving just the sound of your soft footsteps. Jack led you into his bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind him. Without you having to ask, he went to his dresser to pull out a Devils t-shirt and a pair of shorts for you to wear. You smiled at the gesture through your sleepy eyes, taking the clothes from his hand.
“I um…” Jack paused, looking towards you as you held the clothes close. “I wanna talk about it.” He said quietly. You smiled at him, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. He followed close behind, sitting down next to you. His thigh brushed against yours as he looked into your eyes, taking your hand in his. “Bunny, I-” He took a moment to gather his thoughts, letting out a sigh. “I care about you. Like, a lot.” Vulnerability wiped across his face as you sat next to him, brushing your thumb back and forth on his hand. Your heart skipped a beat at his words, the weight of his vulnerability washing over you. Jack wasn’t someone who usually wore his emotions on his sleeve, and seeing him like this, nervous and sincere, made your chest tighten in the best way.
“I care about you too, Jack,” you said softly, your voice steady even though your heart felt like it was racing.
He let out a breath, like he’d been holding it since he started speaking. “I mean, I really care about you,” he clarified, his eyes locking onto yours. “It’s not just… I don’t know how to explain it. You’re not just my friend. You’ve never been just my friend.” The room felt impossibly small, the air between you charged with emotions neither of you had fully acknowledged until now. His hand tightened slightly around yours, like he was afraid you might pull away.
“Jack,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
He let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “Because I didn’t want to mess things up. You’re my best friend, Bunny. And you always had this annoyingly huge crush on Quinn, which pissed me off more than it should because he just tore you down over and over again. if you didn’t feel the same, I didn’t want to ruin… this.” He gestured vaguely between the two of you, his cheeks tinged pink.
You smiled, your thumb continuing to brush against his hand. “You’re an idiot, you know that?” His brows furrowed, and he opened his mouth to respond, but you didn’t let him. Instead, you leaned in, closing the small gap between you and pressing your lips softly against his. Jack froze for a moment, his brain clearly trying to catch up with what was happening. But then his free hand came up to cup your cheek, pulling you closer as he kissed you back. It wasn’t hurried or desperate like before, it was warm and gentle, filled with all the unspoken feelings he’d been holding onto for so long.
When you finally pulled away, his eyes searched yours, a mix of disbelief and relief written all over his face. “So… does this mean you feel the same?”
You laughed softly, resting your forehead against his. “What do you think, genius?”
Jack’s lips curved into a smile, his confidence returning now that the weight of uncertainty had lifted. “I think I should’ve said something a long time ago.”
“Well,” you teased, your voice light, “better late than never.”
He chuckled, leaning back slightly but not letting go of your hand. “So… are you still okay sharing the bed? Or should I take the couch now that this is out in the open?”
You rolled your eyes, standing up to change into the clothes he’d given you. “You’re not going anywhere, Hughes.” Jack laughed quietly, lying back on the bed with his hands behind his head as he watched you.
“Yes, ma’am.”
As you climbed into bed next to him, he pulled you close, his arm wrapping around your waist. For the first time that night, the tension melted away, replaced by a sense of calm and certainty that you hadn’t felt before. And as you drifted off to sleep in Jack’s arms, you couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this was the start of something even better than you could’ve imagined.
#freeabortionslol#jack hughes#jack hughes x reader#jh86#nhl fanfiction#nhl players#fanfic#imagine#lake house groupchat#hughes brothers
264 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've seen a lot of reviews and even casual saying that dav is "a bad dragon age game but a good action rpg" but i gotta say i...
I don't think it's a good action rpg? I think it's kinda mid?
I'm not gonna go on about the story and characters because you all already know how i feel about that. But the gameplay???
The gameplay doesn't innovate in anyway that hasn't been done before and done better by other games.
As I was playing I often turned to my partner and says "It feels like I'm playing God of War, but less fun." I remarked that Atreus was a far better combat companion than you companions in this game. That a character that was literally a CHILD was capable of taking down enemies on his own where the supposed Heros of the Veilguard cannot.
I felt like I was doing all this combat alone and the only thing my companions where good for was combos and occasional heals. I saw my partner desperately struggling to play as a ranged mage because there really are no dedicated tank options to pull enemy agro and the ones you DO get are inefficient. If you want to feel like a powerful ranged character you literally have to go into the combat settings and turn enemy agro DOWN.
The gameplay is also hurt by trimming the party down to a total of three instead of four.
Maybe I'm just a tactical games pilled bitch but i think to do away with those parts of DA entirely have hurt it. I think letting Rook use the dagger to access all your companions abilities was a mistake.
You SHOULD have to go back and switch your companions out to access hidden areas! And the maps should be flavoured in such a way that the companion who calls them home should be able to flex more when on their home turf!
"ooooh but its tedious" i hear you cry
and i cry back "i don't think you actually enjoy rpg's!!"
Personally I find a game holding my hand and going "its ok sweetie we did away with all those hard gameplay decisions for you" beyond insulting!
the repetitive enemy hordes, the copy and paste mage boss fights, the environmental puzzles that aren't really puzzles because you have the master key in your back pocket! You don't have to think about your party composition because everyone can heal and they're only useful for combos really because their damage output fucking sucks.
Honestly it just adds to the feeling that Rook is shouldering everything on their own, even though the game repeatedly tells you you aren't!! Look at all your friends helping!! Aren't they cool and strong and powerful? Best in their fields!!
And i go "really? i don't see it"
Your gameplay isn't good when every time I'm fighting a new repetitive horde of enemies all I could find myself thinking was
"Damn I should play BG3 again." Or "Man I should play God of War again."
And of course the always in the back of my mind "I wish i was playing Bloodborne"
#bird chatter#dragon age critical#actually you know#this is specifically#bioware critical#anyway the gameplay isn't that good and im tired of pretending it is
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Slow dance"
- I can teach you to dance, Jona.- And they all stared at Damian.
- Really?- The girl asked surprised.
- Yes, right now if you wish.- He raised a fist to his mouth.- I have already arranged with the orchestra so that they play a slow and simple song to dance to.-
- Huh?- And she blushed up to her ears.- Right now?- Seeing her teammate nod, she swallowed a little before answering.- Su-sure.-
Damian, like a true gentleman, extended his arm as an invitation for her to accompany him, which little Jonatha did, feeling all eyes on them.
- Ignore them.- The 13 years old boy told her in a low voice.- Just look at my face and try to follow my movements.-
Hold me, hold me.
Never let me go
until you've told me,
told me,
what I want to know
and then just hold me, hold me.
Make me tell you I'm in love with you.
Almost without thinking, Supergirl followed Robin's directions, both vocal and physical, stepping on him a few times, earning the other's frowns, who said nothing and continued to direct her onto the dance floor, where other couples had joined them.
-The two look so adorable.-
- Gross.-
- Jason! Tim!-
Already when he felt that Jona had managed to master the famous "1-2-3", Damian released the girl's hands to put them on his shoulders, while he adjusted his hands above her waist, to avoid touching anything that he shouldn't.
- Dami!- Jona's cheeks turned red like tiny little strawberries at the other boy's action.- What are you doing?-
- It's the next part of the slow dance.- He assured her.- Don't say anything and keep dancing.-
- Okay, okay.- And instinctively she put her head on his shoulder.- Thank you, Damian.-
- You don't have to, I offered to help you learn.-
- Anyway, thanks.- Smiling, she continued to scoot to the tune, her head still on Damian's shoulder.
- I think I should separate them, Lois.- Clark was undecided whether to intervene or sit watching his eldest daughter dance intimately with Batman's son.
- Leave them, Smallville.- His wife scolded him, amused to see him jealous.- They're just dancing, it's not like they're doing something bad.-
- But, but... Jona.-
- Shut up and leave them alone. Go get me something to drink.- She ordered.- She's growing up.-
- Okay.- He let out a deep sigh.
He didn't like to see that his girl would soon stop being one to become a young lady. The horror. So, like any self-respecting father, he set himself the goal of taking care of his little girl not only from villains, but also from the evil intentions of other boys, especially Damian Wayne.
(Kiss me) Kiss me, (Kiss me) kiss me. When you do, I'll know that you will miss me. (Miss me) Miss me. (Miss me) If we ever say "Adieu" So kiss me, kiss me. (Ah) Make me tell you I'm in love with you. (Hold me, thrill me) Never, never, never let me go. (Hold me, thrill me) Never, never, never let me go. (Hold me, thrill me) Never, never, never let me go.
- For the next gala, Master Bruce, you should talk to the boys first, before tonight's show is repeated again.- Alfred advised him as he passed by him.
- Thanks for the advice, Alfred. I'll take it into consideration.- Why were his children always giving him headaches?
- Much appreciated of me, sir. Now, how do you intend to handle the situation with Mr. Clark?-
And for any answer, he slapped himself on the face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this chapter, I used the female version of the name "Jonathan", just to make it clear. And yes, it is "Jonatha"
To give you an idea of what's going on, Damian made and lost a bet against Jason, Tim and Dick, so at the next gala organized by the Wayne's, He had to ask three people to dance, however, they allowed him to choose the songs and the people he would dance with.
Jonatha was not part of these three people.
#jondami#damian wayne#dick grayson#fanfiction#jason todd#tim drake#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#humor#jonathan samuel kent#damijon#super sons#jon kent#dance#Song: Hold me#thrill me#kiss me#clark kent#superman and lois#Female Jon Kent
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
May I request more RoD Fuyuhiko and kidnapped Makoto? 😩
Oh boy, I've imagined this so many ways. Right now, I'm kind of into the idea of it being a very formal and dignified kidnapping.
Like, he's got that three-piece suit brand of villainy; he could send Peko to knock Makoto out and drag him home (and if they were close/dating in school, he does think of his home as Makoto's home, however complicated his feelings are now), but more likely he's sending a car to block Makoto's (walking) path and Peko climbs out and informs Makoto that the head of the yakuza would like a word and it's nonnegotiable.
Ideally (for Fuyuhiko), he does this before the Future Foundation gets to Makoto, but he'll find a way after, if needed. (And it's perhaps more interesting, story-wise, if Makoto has at least spent a couple of days with Future Foundation before Fuyuhiko can abduct him.) Whatever the case, he'll make arrangements to get Makoto alone, a car will pull up in front of him, and:
"Makoto Naegi," the gray-haired woman says. (Not like a question; it hasn't been a question since the killing game. At least, not a genuine one. It's so weird, to have other people know his name before he knows theirs.) "Your presence has been requested. The boss asks that you get in the car without making a scene, and nobody gets hurt."
"The boss?"
"You won't know the details until you meet the boss in person." The young woman shifts her shoulders in a way that subtly hefts the sword bag strapped to her back– which she hasn't yet reached for. "Will you come willingly and save the lives of the companions who have lost track of you already, or will you resist, be taken by force, and guarantee the blood of your companions is shed?"
Makoto's confused demeanor hardens, sharpens, the adrenaline pumping in his veins sending him right into trial mode, ready to argue, to push his way to the right answer.
But before an argument can form in his mouth, he takes another breath. And he says, "They won't be harmed if I get in the car?"
They will lie to you, he's been told. They will trick you. It's not like Enoshima's game; those aligned with despair have no rules, no honor. Especially not if they valued those things before.
"The boss gives his word," the young woman replies. "They won't be harmed."
If she's telling the truth, then he has to get in the car. If she's not...then she still has a sword, is the thing. And even without it, she's bigger and he's alone.
"Then I hope your boss doesn't squander his word," Makoto says warily.
"And I hope you aren't stalling." Strangely, the young woman smirks. The look she's giving him now is almost fond. "I've told you once before that you aren't good at it. But you don't remember that, do you?"
Before he can wrap his head around that, gunshots start going off somewhere.
Makoto's blood runs cold, at the sound of far-off screams. "You said they wouldn't-!"
The young woman merely sighs, rolling her eyes and drawing her sword from her bag as languidly as though it's a tedious chore. "They're early," she says. "Heads will roll for that. My master wanted you to come willingly. It would have pleased him a great deal."
Makoto does his best to run, but she strikes him with the hilt just hard enough to dizzy (and no doubt bruise) him, and while he's disoriented, she hauls him into the car and locks the doors.
She buckles him in while he's blinking the stars out of his eyes and nursing the sore spot. By the time he's steadied himself enough to try to unbuckle himself or reach for the car door, her blade is already hovering at his throat.
She's sitting beside him, also buckled in. The car has started moving– some faceless driver, divided from them by tinted glass. "My master would prefer that I deliver you to him untied," she informs him, "but I am permitted to bind your wrists and ankles, should you make it necessary."
"Who are you?" he asks.
"You don't need a name to address me, with only two of us here. And once I deliver you to the boss, there will be no need for you to address me at all."
"But who are you?"
With a single, almost imperceptibly swift motion, her sword returns to its bag. "I am the sword on my back," she answers. "Don't waste your questions on a sword."
He falls asleep in the car; it's a long-ish ride. He doesn't mean to nod off, but subconsciously there's an assumption that when the car stops, he'll naturally wake up.
This does not happen.
Instead, he wakes up in someone's private study.
There are bookshelves, a big wooden desk and cushioned chair. The lights are off, but there's a fire in the fireplace. Makoto is sprawled across a small couch. The gray-haired woman stands with her back to the wall and her hands folded.
And a small figure stands warming by the fire. His back to Makoto, his whole form shadowed.
"You know," the young man says, "I really didn't expect you to survive."
Makoto's hand finds the sore spot on his head again. (For some reason, he's thinking of Mondo.) "I, uh, get that a lot."
A breathy laugh. "I'll fvcking bet. What else do you get a lot?"
"...That I'm short in person? That I should've told someone about Sakura. That I should see a doctor, because that fall might have caused internal damage. That my voice sounded kind of squeaky on TV. That my eyes actually look browner than they expected, or greener. That Sayaka..." He trails off. People...say a lot of things about Sayaka. That they used to be a fan of hers but would never see her the same, that they were still a fan and they hoped it was okay with him, that they'd been rooting for Makoto to figure out her plan before...Yeah, they say a lot of things.
Why is he telling a stranger any of this?
Is he stalling, knowing this conversation is likely to get a lot less friendly soon?
It doesn't feel like it. He does feel the dread of knowing that this abduction is clearly not a friendly one; he heard the gunshots earlier. He remembers that. But something in the way the young man at the fireplace laughed, the way the gray-haired woman smiled, before...He doesn't know them, but it seems like they know him. Not in the way of the people who feel they know him from watching the killing game. Talking to them feels like talking to people who actually know him.
"That Maizono b!tch," the young man scoffs. "I could have thrown up, watching you fawn over her fake *ss all over again."
And just like that, Makoto's curiosity takes a back seat. "Don't call her that!"
"Traitor-*ss b!tch. I was glad she died first."
Makoto springs to his feet, but he's barely taken two steps in the young man's direction before the gray-haired woman has once again blocked him with the edge of her blade. "Sayaka wasn't a traitor! She never wanted to hurt anyone! That was just what Junko drove her to!"
"...And that's saying something," the young man continues, ignoring Makoto's interruption, "because I was really wondering what it would feel like to watch you die. What I would become, after. I was really fvcking curious. Still am."
Makoto's fear doesn't supersede his anger; it just shapes it. "I don't know who you are," he says bluntly.
The young man's head turns slightly, but other than that he doesn't respond.
"Who are you?"
"The kid wants an introduction." His head turns toward the gray-haired woman. Though Makoto can't see his face, the smirk is audible in his voice as he continues, "Only, suppose we like to be forgotten."
"I figured you were probably someone I used to know...right?"
Once again, no verbal answer.
"Both of you," he continues. "Maybe...from my time at Hope's Peak Academy, or maybe-"
"Did I say his *ss could speak?" the young man inquires.
"You didn't, Young Master," the gray-haired woman says.
"I don't know what you want with me," Makoto continues firmly. "Or, what you think you're getting out of bringing me here, so it would help if you'd just tell me." After a second of silence, he added, "If you're someone who thinks I killed Junko-"
"You didn't kill Junko." The young man turns to face Makoto, but the darkness in the room and the fire at his back still make it impossible to really see his face. "Junko went out on her own terms. You didn't even push the button; all you did was win an unwinnable game. And those dumb*sses sure were desperate to hitch themselves to a winner."
"Who are you?"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm still fvcking pissed off that we all missed out on Plan A. She told us all about the execution she'd put herself through if she somehow lost, but Plan A was always a surprise. She was so sure she'd win."
"Who are you?"
"But that's not why you're here." Suddenly, the young man grabs a fistful of Makoto's shirt and drags him close. They're face to face. Makoto sees golden eyes and freckles. "No, you're here because I was denied the chance to watch you die. And like I said, I'm really fvcking curious."
Before Makoto can conceive of a response, he is shoved backwards to the carpeted floor.
"Take him to his room."
"H-Hey...!" Makoto winces as the gray-haired woman grabs him by the upper arm, yanks him to his feet, and drags him from the room.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yuma Month: Day 9: Love
I think that he forgot his love identity too… 💓💦
#Yuma Month 2024#rain code#master detective archives: rain code#yuma kokohead#pixeldoodles#my art#kokolight#kokowendy#kokobolt#so this prompt seems to be a likely shipping prompt#I actually don't heavily ship yuma with anyone#I do have some people I can see him with though#so thats when I came up with this idea of him thinking about said candidates#in a bisexual panic sort of fashion xD#always wanted to make one of those memes myself#questioning his sexuality because he lost that along with his memories#I personally see him as ace but I can also see him going both ways with dating#I feel like this meme is appropriate for him because he can be shipped with...literally anyone in this game#these are just my personal ships that I can see with him#everyone has different ships and that's okay#kokobolt: funny and cute#kokolight: love the height difference dynamic so much#kokowendy: so sweet with all the support she gives him#and yes that small moment he had with pucci got to me lol#anyway hope you enjoy yuma getting flustered over being around too many attractive people LOL#and shinigami being a jealous little gremlin as usual XD
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
talking to a friend about getting back into art and i think the #1 most important piece of art advice i could ever get or give is just "figure out what is FUN to you"
like i think there is sooooo much emphasis on how to build SKILL in art but a lot of it really treats art like a job or like video game grinding, like it's this thankless job that you have to work at in order to reach a Threshold and i know it's not EASY to make yourself have fun but like
imo a solid 70% of the reason i create art is because the Act of Drawing is fun to me. it's fun problem-solving and planning and putting down lines and playing with colors and tools. it's fun to depict little scenes in my head or to create outfits or to find ways to fill the canvas. never forget that creating can be fun. sometimes it's hard and sometimes you have to battle through your own blockades to get there but the ultimate goal should always be to ENJOY it, to find what you enjoy doing and then do it forever. improvement will follow enjoyment.
i think especially with all the debate about ML image generation it's more important than ever to embrace FUN. if you're only focused on the end result it's so easy to get in your own head- to think about what doesn't look good or what skills you don't have yet or to compare yourself to other artists. but photography didn't kill the art of drawing and AI won't either because, simply put, there will always be people who want to do the physical act of making art because it's fun to do! using paints and markers, splashing colors around, doing shitty pen doodles, using the symmetry tool in your art program to do abstract mandalas that are just squiggles formed into patterns. do art like you're 5 and you've been handed markers to pass the time. do art like you're bored in class and you're keeping your brain entertained by drawing stick figure comics in the margins. do art like an absent thing, do art because it satisfies your brain. the goal is not to make something beautiful and perfect, the goal is to make something because your hands need to make and your body needs to make.
#i know and love so many people who have intense anxiety about their ability to create art and who are so hard on themselves about the result#and i think that's a REALLY easy thing to feel because creating is also vulnerable & physically difficult and there is SOOOO much to master#but i think for me the people who churn out 300 colored pencil front facing hands behind their backs oc doodles on lined notebook paper-#are the ones with the right idea. they're the ones i aspire to be like#i'm not saying i never struggle either bc tbh#as someone with depression and adhd there are times where the Act of Having Fun is simply not possible#sometimes i CAN'T enjoy things because my ability to feel joy is locked behind a barrier of my mental illness#so i don't think it's an Easy thing to do by far and I don't think you can just Magically Make Yourself Happy And Having Fun#but i DO think that experimenting in a low-stakes low-pressure manner until you find something that clicks in your brain helps#doing things for the sake of doing them is the only way to figure out which ones WILL be fun to you#not all of them will. some things will feel like a slog#but i think you have to look for the passion before you're able to face the slog#if you jump right into the parts that are Hard and Challenge Your Limits it's easy to spin your wheels and get stuck#but if you focus on the super small stakes and the things that are thoughtless and focused more on Sensation-#the sensory experience of mixing paint or the scratch of pencil on paper or the smooth way a specific pen makes lines-#then you can lose yourself in the physical aspect of it FIRST#and then once you've started really ENJOYING those sensations you can start learning new ways to use them#because now you have the drive to want to do more#now you have the desire to find new ways to apply this thing you like doing#long post#even longer tags#art#drawing#artists#art advice
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Having conniptions in my room because I know I'm going to end up in grad school one way or another
#kudos to one of my profs for saying i'm 'destined for it' asdfghfds#i want to. but it's haaard...#even moreso because i have to be a hard-ass. i know i'll want to do a thesis instead of a major research paper#because i'm a masochist i guess? and leaves the phd option more open#irl i don't talk a lot about my academic achievements because idk why would i? but i will say. humbly. that i have a very high gpa.#and have collected 8-10 awards or scholarships (some i've gotten more than once hence the weird number)#and i work in one of the school libraries and am chummy with the faculty + the chair of the program#so i think i'm doing pretty fucking okay. alright no more bragging#i want to get my master's but i also feel like if i don't then i'm wasting something#most of us on tumblr are pretentious academics now anyway lol. what's one more
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
now that i'm playing dragon age: veilguard i understand hbomberguy so much better. think i could probably do a 3.5 hours long video called "dragon age: the veilguard is FINE and here's why"
#the writing in dragon age has Always been a bit clunky it's part of the charm#but yes there are sections in DAV that made me go “oh nooo”#but no it isn't as bad as people say#the mechanics are fun idc. it's bad that my new laptop can run all of BG3 fine but becomes laggy as hell in any city location in DAV tho#companions r generally charming and they're all professionals so it makes sense they're less prone to big fights than say DAO morrigan#but yes i do miss having a bit more tension in the party sometimes#the character creator is great for dudes but yea it would probably b cool if it were possible to have curvier bodies for those who want tha#but no it isn't literally impossible to make good-looking rooks. it's quite easy actually#and like yeah you can't have wildly out there body types but it's pretty cool that you can be a geralt type a twink or chubby as a dude#(i play male characters and have only done the female cc once for a custom f!inquisitor so i have more experience w that one)#the qunari also look. fine? the antaam don't look too soft or anything so far#the majority of complaints against this game were stupid and not rooted in anything real#BUT!!! i don't love it#solas continues to be a highlight#lucanis is great so far and i love neve#neve's voice acting is amazing#she manages to make some very disappointing lines sound good#but..... i can't pretend the writing *isn't* awkward in places#d'meta's crossing stands out to me as a pretty bad case of overly direct storytelling#(spoilers) talking to the mayor was deeply disappointing! he just TOLD rook what he did and why. it felt so anticlimactic#especially bc the imagery in the village was striking and grotesque#but there didn't feel like there was any payoff#other sections have been great#but DAV just feels like it completely lacks subtlety at times#the other DA games haven't always been masters of show dont tell but this section felt like a first draft#like someone was working out the story and didn't have time to polish the script at all before the voice actors were called in#idk it really stands out to me as bad#also yeah it's noticeable that you don't really get to do evil things. at least not yet
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm so glad i won't be working with my pi after this month. i think i've reached my limit. i just can't deal with her anymore
#she said 'oh idk if i can make it to your thesis'#SHE IS ON MY THESIS COMMITTEE. SHE'S KNOWN ABOUT THIS FOR A YEARRRRRR#she said she might be on vacation w her bf... instead of going to my fucking thesis defense.#there was a special vote just so she could be on my committee. wdym you have to go on vacation#ALSO i've been asking her to check my calculations for a thing for MONTHS#and she still hasn't. but she made me present on it in front of a bunch of people.#i'd like to note that this calculation is like. the point of my thesis. and she hasn't even bothered to look at it#she forced the interns to work 50 hours last week. they're only being paid for 40.#she hasn't read any part of my thesis... others have but they don't know the details like she does#i told her to read my fucking thesis and she said she had and that it 'looked good'#what does that mean. WHAT does that mean. how do you have no comments. on my thesis. that determines whether i graduate#and then she said i'm ''irresponsible'' bc i went to a concert???#like it didn't affect anything. i showed up to work on time. i completed everything i meant to.#but i guess going to one concert is like. unacceptable.#i'm sooooo sorry i decided to go have fun for one night instead of agonizing about my thesis (that again. she hasn't read)#she asked if i want to give a talk at the new place she got hired at but she now works for fus#which is a incredibly conservative homophobic private catholic university. i've never heard anything positive about it#like they're legally allowed to discriminate against lgbt people... does she know what i fucking look like????#she's so so conservative but she only interacts with other conservative catholics#and doesn't understand how fucking vile her views are. and she wonders why people don't like her#like maybe she should shut the fuck up about how she thinks abortion is a sin at work!!#she once said 'the only time i feel uncomfortable in my skin is when i talk about being a conservative catholic at work'#AND THEN SHE SAID 'it really makes me understand how hijabis feel'#IN FRONT OF MY HIJABI COLLEAGUE. HELLO???? like she is not persecuted for being a conservative catholic#i literally started laughing when she said that. i think i said 'please get real'. and she's still mad#anyway. my colleague decided to no longer work with my pi. idk if it was bc of that comment#she mentioned that once i leave there won't be anyone who understands the data on the project anymore#like yeah. maybe you should've looked at the data. like at all#and not had an unpaid master's student do literally all the work for you
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyway, I decided this academic year I will try to chill out and (most likely) not sign up for my master (i.e., I won't bother to run out of breath in an attempt to conclude my degree by the required deadline to sign up for my masters in a.y. 24-25). Will most likely spend this upcoming semester following a course so I don't have to do the work all by myself (+ get to actually interact and know the professor's teaching style) and consistently work on my thesis. Apart from that I will attempt to dedicate myself to music + fully get into this volunteering association I'm in (which might imply some trips around/abroad + lots of activities)
#decided I want more of a proper break from formal education I guess?#I pursue education because it excites me. I don't see the point of running behind it and do things improperly#plus I love my broader field (compsci) but I have no idea which direction to go in wrt my master courses so yeah#might be better off taking a breather while finishing one cycle of studies and then begin the new one with proper conviction#I don't really feel like a proper human and I need to dig deeper to see what's out there#also like#I will almost certainly keep doing some music teacher stuff this year so I will be getting some pocket money I guess#I believe in interdisciplinarity with my full heart#I just need to properly wrap my head around it#because it's not that much of a. how shall I say#actually implemented topic from what I've seen?#my post
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#the thing is. you should believe survivors#also my ex after we broke up tried to go to half of our mutual friend and tell them horrifying stories of abuse he was dealing with#it wasn't even planned smearing campain (I don't think it's his style). he was truly hurt. some things really di happened. some even#happened the way he told it. and some were blowed to 'I went to work with bruises every day' (he was grabbed by hand by other partner once#and had bruises because he was so white-skinned he bruised like from touch)#or how I forced him to live with other man that hated him and turned his life to hell (he forgot to mention that it was my disabled brother#he flew away from our abusive mother as soon as he turned 18 and I gave him shelter. after asking partners to consider this seriously#because it's big commitment. I also stated several times that I'm willing to move out with him if it's unpleasant. also this 'living hell'#was him ignoring my partner completely after he yelled on him several times because as he said he didn't ran away from home#to suffer yelling again)#so yeah. it didn't work that time because my friend actually know everything from me long before my ex came to them#they nodded politely and never talked to him again#but it lingers. and it majes me look really critically at any call out or accusation.#person could be really hurt. really harmed even. and still there could be biases or misunderstanding or any human messiness#it sounds like girl had a horrifying experience. it also looks like she kept illusion of being fully on board and loving it.#was it believably? or he just didn't care#did he pick her because she was young and inexperienced? or because she told him she's interested in bdsm?#did he tried to help her when she was in bad place? or was he calculatingly buying her silence?#was he creepy or was he awkward?#honestly I don't know even... what kind of proofs you can get there#like we have her statement. we have objective thing — texts and vids. we can have Gaiman own statement#so what if he will repeat what stated in messages: it was consensual she literally wrote what she want me to do etc#believe survivors. what if everything she told is true too. but also what in messages are true too#what if she was scared and hurt and also told him yes and more and please master. because people are complicated#would he accused of not reading her mind? would there be charges on not checking enough. HOW WRAP MY MIND AROUND IT#like it's all is ne genuinely trying to understand what's next and how it could be wrapped at all#for the record: even if it was absolutely 💯 consensual and girl like completely lying about everything etc#he's still clearly fucked up and things were messy for a lot of reasons. it's bad!#but there's difference between 'it was rape or coercion' and 'it was poorly planned affair and he should've be more considerate of partners#feelings'. and in any way. hope that girl gets help
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ough. Post-session fatigue is hitting harder than usual today.
#i think it's because it's um. a friday after school. and also we picked up after like a 2 month hiatus. and also it's my new player group#as much as i love them (truly they are Amazing players in terms of creativity and roleplay and scheduling and such) it is a little...#it feels like higher stress because i want to match their level of detail and like... creativity (which i did)#but also i want to make sure that they are having fun which like. dms always want to do. but them especially#bc this is their first experience w/ dnd and i don't want to turn them off it. bc your first dm can really make or break it yk?#but like hhhhh after my players left i just. kinda cried. and it's wild bc it was a good session and they said that they enjoyed it#but the crash was still So real. also like explaining the rules (it was our first combat they know the rules In Theorybut yk how it is)#like tbh explaining the rules wasn't even that bad it was just. i think it was also just i was tired bc of school#(tbh this year i've just gone home midday on fridays bc i get so exhausted on them) and also first sess in a while and cetera#anyway i'm feeling a little better now bc i talked w/ one of my players and she was like. enthusing abt it. and i listened to good music#but like. wooo. that was a REALLY bad post sess crash i haven't felt that bad in ages#d&D#dante dicit#might delete#dming#dm'ing#dungeon master#dm#dungeons and dragons
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I <3 blowing up my save files mid-playthrough or after I've beaten the game and feel aimless or I'm three hours in and incredibly indecisive and perfectionistic and have to start over Better this time or I just get really into One Idea and blow up the save for the sole purpose of achieving the One Idea and once I have it's like. Well. What was the point of that actually. And then I blow it up again
#IDK IDK I FEEL LIKE I'M CURSED.........#i swear to god it all started when i realized i'm transgender. experience that changed me forever#OBVIOUSLY. IN POSITIVE WAYS.#but also i just feel like i'm constantly starting over. i used to have master files.#it was actually such an emotionally fucked up experience i used to write my deadname on the back of my 3ds carts#i used to be ambivalent to my deadname until i felt like i had to prove it to myself. and in doingvthat#i did come to appreciate it and it did feel associated w me. or at least what i was meant to embody.#i was always trying to Prove It. to myself. that if i can Prove It i can make this work and get all i've ever wanted#like love. ect ect#in ways i won't elaborate on my name now does honor my deadname. without really being reflective of it at all#which is exactly what i needed esp at that time in my life. it was SUCH a sudden upheaval.#like all of this i've been burying and stomping out for so many years like. once i finally just allowed myself to question.#and be at peace w it. it just all spilled out full force and like. i think i still experience side effects from it LMFAOOOO#like my save files. being unable to revisit certain games. hell even fe becoming one of my main interests#was a direct side effect of me needing a game where i could be myself and not have any prev memories attached#also just. the fucking type of person i am. guy who loves to leave and start over all the fucking time#but also also like. i think it's just the perfectionism sometimes. like eo2 i'm trying to get my party/lore Just Right#so i can fully immerse myself in it and NOT feel bad. for making any amount of changes to my party 😭#I'M SUCH A SENTIMENTAL BITCH. WHO CAN'T HOLD ONTO ANYTHING. WHO REFUSES TO LET GO. WHAT‼️‼️‼️#and w miitopia it's just. i need to update the artwork here it's insane. i gotta fix this. no one is allowed to see this.#anyways. starting over in miitopia and fixing it. i don't even know what my party is gonna be tbh#i usually plan this shit out but again. deep deep DEEPLY rooted Need to just blow everything up forever.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
y'all i'm like. so tired and overwhelmed right now. dare i even say sad.
#friday chats#tw vent#i should really go to sleep. but do i have the energy to get ready for bed? absolutely not#this feeling is exacerbated by the fact that it's **probably** that time of the month so i'm trying to be brave about it but like. augh.#i feel like there's a million things to do for college prep and then i'll actually be IN college and i'll have even MORE things to do#and it all feels so big and i am very small#i signed up for courses today!! but apparently i might be given a scholarship for the honors program at my school#and if it's big enough i know my parents aren't gonna let me turn it down#so i'd have to change up my nice schedule that feels like it's a good fit for me#and i also just REALLY don't want to do an honors program#i'm so tired from high school honors and dual credit and i want to go easy on myself since i do plan on getting a master's degree#and having to write and defend a thesis is something i'm absolutely not equipped for#even if i have department help i cannot public speak to save my life. it scares the shit out of me. hate hate hate it#i don't know. i just want things to be easy for once. or at least easier#this isn't even the only thing it's just the thing most recently on my mind#i just wish i had time to rest and prepare to feel totally ready to take on this new chapter of my life#...buuuut i don't. time marches ever onward. and all that.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i have to say, i kind of think ayitl is a darkly genius means of resolving a not-quite-love-triangle -- a highly discoursed-upon love situation, if you will -- because i think both rory/logan and rory/jess shippers look at the revival like “this shows exactly why [pairing i don’t like] doesn’t work, and exactly why [pairing i do like] does work”
and i think it works equally well in either direction, hahahahaha
#i'm a big ol' rory/logan sap -- ferally so -- but objectively i can admit that i genuinely think it works either way#like i will hit you up with meta for nine thousand years explaining why i feel that my side is right#but i get that the rory/jess folks are also in the exact same position to do the same#and that is why it is weirdly masterful#how do you resolve a decades-long debate about a character's love life? with schrodinger's resolution!!!!!!#dollsome's deep thoughts#i know that the palladinos seemed to lean more rory/jess in post-series interviews but i'm talking TEXT ONLY here baby#in short i think the revival ended really brilliantly for any kind of shippy rory fanfiction you could possibly want#(rory/paris included OBVIOUSLY)#gilmore girls#gg revival#in which the palladinos simply shrugged and went 'idk you figure it out'#'we've given you some stuff to work with'#p.s. why am i even thinking about ayitl today?#I DON'T KNOW!
32 notes
·
View notes