#i want to eat the cookies

[paradoxical-machine]

Just made a batch of cookies and it's so hard not to eat them all

They're like, perfectly crisp on the outside but soft on the inside

But they're for a friend meetup tomorrow, so I can't eat them

[vanrougenui]

real footage of what happened after lilia found silver

[cosmicwhoreo]

I think I introduced my cats to each other incorrectly...

[p1nkshield]

Superman: Hey Batman congratulations on adopting your son! My mom insisted I bring you this… are you okay?

Batman, looking especially bedraggled, dragging a hand down his face: huh? Yes. I’m fine. I it’s just that I can’t find him.

Superman: What? do you mean you LOST HIM?

Batman: shhh, be quiet

*scuttling from above*

Batman, squinting: he’s in the rafters.

Superman: the wHAT!?

Batman: what did you bring?

Superman looking up frantically: the rafters?!?- I brought pie but why are you asking me tha-

Batman: ROBIN COME, PIE!

*scuttling stops, then rapidly moves closer*

Robin!dick: please give me some pie please

Batman: come down here first. If you try to eat upside down you’ll choke.

Robin!dick: not true I’ve been practicing!

Superman: 0_0

[bloumiiss]

Sheep.

[yaoi-hate-machine]

pro tip: if you have a hard time eating breakfast, try an appetizer! eating something small can help jumpstart your digestive system and hunger signals

i started feeling nauseous in the morning last week and did Not feel like eating breakfast. so i 1. switched from coffee to tea and 2. got some biscoff cookies to dunk in my tea. and it’s been rly helpful! i have a few cookies and then in a little bit my body feels more ready to eat a meal

[arthur-lesters-optic-nerve]

i remembered i had free will and now i have cookie arthur lester

[princenothinq]

my favorite pass time is putting lico in situations

bonus alt v where pitayas being slightly weirder

[notbecauseofvictories]

The number of times I reach for, "I'll make a complicated baking project!!!!" because I know it'll take time and concentration (i.e., I can't focus on anything beyond the mechanical for a bit) and comes with a positive output that people who aren't me appreciate (i.e., desserts) makes me think I need other coping mechanisms.....and also that I might somehow understand those people who work out a lot.

[djarinova]

kitchen teasing

levi ackerman x f! reader

you decide that teasing your boyfriend while baking together is the best way to get him to give you what you want.

content - teasing, unprotected sex, creampie, small amount of aftercare, time limit, ass smacking, petnames (sweetheart, angel, good girl, darling, baby)

words - 2.9k

All you wanted was a cute baking date with your boyfriend. It wasn't your fault you hadn't seen him properly in almost a week, or that he just so happened to look absolutely gorgeous in the warm lighting in the kitchen—his eyes glowing, and his cheeks flushed. 

You knew he was growing tired of your teasing antics, but you just couldn't help yourself. The way he was reading the recipe instructions, telling you what to do and being very strict on following the recipe exactly to the letter had your knees wobbling. He stood right behind you, so close you could feel his breath on your neck, and every word he spoke sent vibrations down your spine.

“Angel, are you even listening to me?” Levi sighed, clearly exasperated by your mind being elsewhere, “I said it's time to add the mix to the baking trays.”

You nod, humming in agreement as you reach forward to grab the trays you'd put out on the counter earlier. You use the opportunity to arch your back ever so slightly, so that your ass rubs against Levi’s crotch. His hands clamp down on your hips immediately, and you hear him stifle a groan. He's so close to losing his patience with you, you're sure of it, you just need to push him a little further.

“Do we need to use any baking parchment, baby?” You ask innocently, pretending you don't hear his breathing hitching, or feel his hands kneading your flesh. 

“Y–Yes, we do. Let me grab the scissors and I'll cut it to size.”

Levi reaches around you, grabbing the scissors and cutting the parchment without moving from his position behind you. You grin when you realise his reluctance to move must be based purely on how much he enjoys having you pressed against him. 

He hands you the parchment, watching as you begin to scoop the mix from the bowl onto the baking tray. He focuses on your hands moving, his mind is slightly distracted by thoughts of what other things he likes watching your hands do…

“It's almost done now, baby!” You smile, twisting your head around to look at Levi. You use your excitement as an excuse to tease him just a little bit more, pretending you don't notice how hard you're pressing onto him, or how your excitable shuffles have you moving your ass against him at a fairly steady rhythm.

Levi’s hands suddenly grip your hips again, and you feel him press his entire body against yours.

“You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don’t push your luck, angel.” He growls, using one of his hands to straighten your head, forcing you to look forward. “Now be a good girl and finish placing the mix on the tray so I can put it in the oven.”

You whine, squeezing your legs together in an attempt to dull the ache that has formed there. Your movements are hurried, wanting to do what you're told as fast as you can. Levi's confession has you weak in the knees, and you can't deny the affect his words have had on you. You feel tingly all over, shivers ran up your spine as soon as he started speaking and they are yet to dissipate. 

“It's finished.” You say, trying to ignore how fast your heart is beating, and how soothing Levi's hands feel on you—rubbing and kneading your waist roughly.

“Good girl, now pass it to me.” 

You grab the tray, quickly turning and passing it to Levi who is now standing a few steps away from you. You watch as he places the tray into the oven, setting a timer for 30 minutes before turning back to you. 

His eyes darken when his gaze lands on you, and you take a step back—hitting your back against the counter. The delicate curves of his face are highlighted in the kitchen light, and your eyes trace his features while his hands begin to roam your body.

“Is there any particular reason you were teasing me so much this afternoon, darling?” One of his hands comes to rest on your chest, giving your tit a harsh squeeze before beginning to roll his fingertips across your nipple. You whine at the contact, sticking out your lower lip—pouting, as if this isn't the exact outcome you wanted. 

You know riling him up like you've been doing all afternoon wasn’t your best plan, nor was it even necessary, as Levi finds it incredibly hot when you show him how badly you need him by coming onto him directly. But teasing is just so much more fun… and it always leads you to get what you want…so who could blame you really?

“Nope!” You exclaim with a pop. “Not really, baby, I was just having fun baking with you.” 

You smile, loving the attention he was giving you. His hands were all over you, groping and kneading at your flesh like you were the very dough he'd just placed in the oven. His touch felt magical, and it was causing your entire body to thrum with excitement.

“Tch—you know I don't believe that, angel. If you wanted me to fuck you over this counter that badly you could've just asked, you didn't need to use this baking date as an excuse.” 

You whine, the noise involuntarily slipping past your lips. Your eyes widen when you catch the look in Levi's eyes—hunger, and not just for the tasty treats you were baking.

His hands quickly spin you around, and one comes to rest on your hip, the other forces your head down against the cold counter.

“We've got just over 20 minutes until the timer goes off.” Levi feels you squirm underneath him and he places his free hand on your hip, gripping you tightly. “Now now, sweetheart, it's okay. Just keep still for me. You wouldn't me to think you didn't even want to get fucked, would you?”

You whine again, bucking your hips slightly, and Levi groans when your ass rubs against him.

“C'mon, sweetheart, take those trousers off for me now, okay?” He gives your waist one more squeeze and takes a small step back from you, giving you enough room to quickly slip out of your clothes.

Levi bites his lip harshly at the view you're giving him. Your bare cunt is on full display for him to see. Levi feels himself twitch at the thought that you haven't been wearing anything under your trousers the entire time he's been pressed up against you this afternoon. 

“You must think you're so clever, huh, baby?” Levi asks.

You nod. 

“You think you've been playing me so well, and that this little stunt here is going to make me lose my last bit of control, is that right?”

You nod again, slower this time.

“Awh, angel, you're too cute.” You turn your head to face him. “But that's not how this is going to work.”

You watch as Levi unbuckles his trousers, swiftly dropping them to the floor. He then pulls down his boxers, and you're unable to stop yourself from taking a sharp inhale of excitement.

“I am perfectly in control of my actions, angel. Now turn your head and spread your legs for me—that's it, well done, my pretty girl.”

Levi watches you as you squirm, your anticipation written plainly on your movements, and he checks the timer once again.

17 minutes.

You hear Levi move towards you, but the sounds of his feet shuffling are soon replaced with his groans. You whip your head around, as best as you can from your angle on the counter, and you just manage to catch a glimpse of Levi stroking his cock before he uses his free hand to move your head back around.

“Eyes down, angel.” He bends towards your right side, leans close to you, and whispers. “You've had your fun, now it’s time for me to have mine.”

Without a warning he presses his cock between your folds, his eyes screw shut as he feels your warmth surround him. His hands grip your waist tightly as he bottoms out, you can feel his fingernails digging into your flesh, a dull pain already beginning to form from the pressure. 

15 minutes.

You half expect Levi to go easy on you, to do what he normally does when the two of you have sex—begin softly and gently, slowly working towards faster and harder. But that isn't what happens today. Something in the way he’s pumping in and out of your pussy is miles different from usual. You can already hear his breathing becoming ragged, the restlessness of his hands is making your mind swirl. It’s like he can't decide on where to touch you the most—he starts on your waist, gripping and kneading at your flesh there, he then moves to your tits, where he gropes you and rolls your nipples between his fingertips, then he works his way to your thighs, and then your head, where he laces a hand in your hair and gives it a light tug. Every action elicits a moan from your lips, and you try your hardest to focus on keeping yourself upright, but each thrust makes it harder.

10 minutes.

“This is what you wanted, right? My delicate little angel wanted to be bent over the counter like this? She was practically begging for it, wasn’t she?” 

You try to squeak out a reply, but the words are too foggy in your mind, trying to focus on anything other than Levi’s cock pounding into you is like trying to count grains of sand—impossible. 

When you fail to answer Levi can’t help but roll his eyes. Your tongue is lolling out the side of your mouth, your eyes are glazed over and the only noises coming from you are moans and incoherent babbling. You’re completely lost in the pleasure he’s giving you, and it just makes him want to wreck you even more.

7 minutes.

Levi groans as he thinks about how completely wrecked he wants to make you. He adores making you so overwhelmingly cock drunk that you’re unable to to say anything other than his name—repeated over and over again until you're cumming around his cock for the second or third time. It gives him an ego boost knowing that he can fuck you so well that the only thing on your mind is the pure pleasure he’s giving you—the pleasure that only him can give you.

6 minutes.

He focuses on pounding into your tight cunt as fast as he can, the timer acting as competition for him to see how close he can get you before time runs out. His hands grip your hips, even tighter than before, and he feels you squeeze around his cock—sending stars across his vision.

“Fuck, angel—shit—you feel so tight.” Levi hears you hum in response. “That’s it, well done, my sweet girl—oh, fuck—you're doing so well for me now—hhng—shit… baby… you’re gonna make me cum.”

5 minutes.

You whine as you arch your back, wanting and willing Levi to be even closer to you—as if that was even possible. You feel him shake as you move against him, and as you turn your head towards him, you find him with his eyes screwed shut and his bottom lip drawn into his mouth. Your heart swells at the sight, and you let out a shaky breath, knowing how close he is to finishing has your tummy swirling.

4 minutes.

Levi’s thrusts are beginning to get sloppier now, his pace never slows but you can hear him whimpering under his breath, his voice whiny and needy, and it makes your cunt clench around him even tighter. He curses, and you hear a crack ripple through the air from where his hand met your ass. Your skin stings, and as Levi smacks your ass for a second time you manage to find your voice again, as if the pain was able to shake your thoughts awake.

“L-Levi, cum in-inside, p-please.” Your voice shakes with each thrust Levi takes.

3 minutes.

Levi’s eyes roll back, his hands clamp down on your hips. Hearing you beg for him was the final straw, whatever resolve he had shattered when your voice cracked due to his pounding. 

“I will, sweetheart—oh fuck—I will.” 

2 minutes.

A string of curses falls from Levi’s lips, the whisper of your name jumbled amongst them. You squeeze your eyes shut, the knot in your stomach tightening as you hear Levi coming undone behind you. His hands hold you so tightly that you’re sure his fingernails are going to leave crescent shaped indents on your skin when he lets go. 

1 minute.

“Oh, fuck, sweetheart—thats it, just like that—fuck, fuuck—”

Levi cuts himself off. His eyes roll back and he bites his lip in an effort to regain his composure. You can hear his breathing getting heavy as his orgasm crashes over him. He paints the inside of your greedy cunt with strings of his cum, and he watches you spasm as your own orgasm hits you. You reach your hands out, gripping the counter edge—tight enough for your knuckles to begin to turn white—in an effort to keep yourself standing. 

Beep beep beep beep.

Your head snaps upwards, and you're about to say something when you feel Levi hastily pull out of you. You whine at the sudden loss, but he just rolls his eyes at you, giving your ass another smack before pulling his trousers up from his ankles.

“Don't whine. You got what you wanted, did you not?” Levi says, a playful edge to his voice.

You pout, and try to stand yourself upright, your shaky legs proving this to be more difficult than you expected. Your knees buckle, but Levi manages to catch you before any damage is done.

“Tch, stay there.” 

You wonder if he's going to grab you a glass of water, or maybe bring one of the barstools over for you to sit on. But he does neither. He walks over to the still beeping oven, turns it off, and opens it up. With the oven gloves already on his hands—when did he grab those?—he grabs the tray and places it neatly upon the wire cooling rack next to you.

“It looks good, well done, angel.” 

Levi takes the gloves off and moves to stand in front of your half naked form. You smile, and he places a hand upon your cheek. 

“You feeling okay, baby?”

You nod, but your eyes are drooping slightly, and Levi recognises the signs—you're exhausted, and it's time for him to make you get you some rest. He grabs you by the waist, and pulls you towards his body. You tilt your head quizzically, but your question is answered when your feet are suddenly off the ground. You manage to wrap your legs around Levi's waist despite the lack of warning, and his hands come to rest on your ass. He begins to walk you towards your bedroom. 

You question him about the mess you've left in the kitchen.

“What about the dishes?” You whisper the words, your mouth brushing against Levi’s ear.

“We can wash up everything later, don't worry about it. I need you to rest for a bit now, I might have worked you a little too hard.” 

His face reddens, and you smile widely. As he places you down onto the bed, you begin to feel the ache that Levi had anticipated, and you find your heart fluttering at the thought—he knows you so well. 

You watch as he shuffles through the dresser, grabbing you a pair of underwear and a pair of his trackies. You shimmy them both on from your place on the bed and grab his hand before he has the chance to walk away, pulling him down onto the bed with you.

“If I'm resting, so are you.” You state, matter of factly. 

Levi doesn't argue with you, instead he manoeuvres his body so that you are able to rest your head in the crook of his neck, he pulls your leg across his body so that it drapes over his thigh and he wraps an arm around your waist. You snuggle into him, breathing in his scent. 

“You're still happy with how your teasing went, baby?” Levi brushes loose hairs from your face as you angle your neck to look up at him.

“You know I am.” You press a gentle kiss to his collarbone, and Levi smiles at your action.

“Don't think I'm letting you fall asleep though, it's just a small rest before I put you back to work. We've got to get everything cleaned before we can enjoy our—”

“Our cookies!” You exclaim, suddenly remembering what you were doing in the kitchen before Levi decided he'd had enough of your teasing. “I'd almost forgotten.” 

Levi rolls his eyes at you, and he gives you a quick squeeze before placing a soft kiss on top of your head. 

“Precisely. We can clean everything up and then I'll make us a nice cup of tea, and we can sit down and finish watching that movie we started last night, does that sound good, angel?”

“It sounds perfect.” You breathe. Your face is pressed up against Levi’s neck, and he feels his whole body shiver when your breath hits his skin

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Beloved phantom

If Ethari has been hallucinating Runaan all along, that means he could see him in the workshop the day he made the lighthawk arrow for Rayla:

[unholyyconfessions]

Dean trying to find people that look like Sam bc i love that concept

When he was young he remembered to look more at models in magazines with little waist and skinny legs when Sammy hit puberty. Jerking off at the sight of little buts and coming so fucking hard thinking about big hands and long fingers around his cock.

He lied about his first time. It wasn't with a tall blond bimbo with big tits (don't misunderstood, he really likes a good fuck with a blond bimbo) but it was with a skinny brunette with a cute pixie cut. She didn't have so many curves and her tits were small. And those weren't the only things that attracted him to her. She had big eyes complemented by long eyelashes and a beautiful smile that showed her dimples.

As soon as they finished, she lay down next to him to cuddle and it felt so... wrong. Her body didn't fit with his as it should, she didn't feel right. She didn't feel like Sam.

After that night he tried to stop, no more brunettes, no more skinny limbs, no more big hazel eyes or smile with dimples. No more girls that looked like Sam. Even if he wanted so badly to sink in the fantasy.

Seeing Sammy should be enough. Sammy pouting when Dad denied something to him and his smile when Dean secretly gave it to him. Sam showing his long legs in summer days and him wearing Dean's hoodies in autumn. The way he breathed in the training, how his cheek painted red. His pink nipples that Dean had the luxury to see when Sam was out of the shower. The warmth of his body when he cuddles with Dean on winter nights. Yeah, that should be enough. It has to be enough.

It was.

But when Sammy ran away something switched inside him, the hollow inside his chest, in his /heart/ was to big to care about what was right and wrong.

After some time the girls weren't enough so his gaze drifted slowly around the boys. It was the closest and at the same time the furthest thing from Sam. It was fatal.

Dean really wanted to me make it work, close his eyes and imagine /him/ right there with him. But some boys had hazel eyes but didn't look at him right. Some had the perfect mouth but the voice wasn't right. Some had the skinny complexity but the skin was too cold or too warm. They weren't right no matter how much he wanted them to be.

But then Dad disappeared and he felt more alone than any other moment in his life.

He almost choked himself with his spit when he saw Sammy under the light of his dorm.

Of course he saw Sammy when him and dad checked on him. But it was at a considerable distance, Sam was a good hunter and they should not be detected. He couldn't see the changes so far away.

He was massive. He felt it when they struggled on the floor but saw it? His brain short-circuited. Strong arms and big shoulders. Tall and with a defined body for sure. And his chest? Those tits were huge. Dean tongue felt so dry, his hands were itchy because they wanted to feel and he couldn't take his eyes away.

Dean couldn't get hard right now, he shouldn't.

Then Jess appeared and he tried to play it cool when he snapped to reality again.

After the tragedy Dean knew he shouldn't have felt this happy but he couldn't help it, no when he had his Sammy around once again. But it didn't last, just as he was happy he also felt miserable.

He almost forgot how hard it was to live with Sam again. His desire was always slow burning inside of him, sometimes taking the best of him out of missions, but with Sam next to him Dean felt like he was set on fire. Everything burned and nothing -nobody- give a real release.

Sam looked at Dean and him felt so /right/ that he felt his heart beat so strong that was painful. His voice makes Dean feel tingling all inside. When Dean made Sam laugh he felt so proud that his chest couldn't contain it fully. To his horror it wasn't enough anymore.

He wanted-no, he needed more, he needed to felt his hands caress Sam's long hair, he needed to memorize Sam's body with his hands with his eyes with his mouth. He needs to kiss, to bite, to swallow every little thing from Sam.

Finding someone new wasn't on the table anymore because he can't deny himself anymore.

Idk where i wanted to get with this but yeah

[desultory-novice]

Treasured Treats

@jojo-schmo

[y-rhywbeth2]

Dropping by with some stuff found on godspawn, godlings, whathaveyou:

First is the rather alarming news that gods might be able to have their would-be offspring lie dormant in a mortal womb at the zygote stage for years - either by placing it on a timer or by waiting until they activate its development manually by will. Like that one's not confirmed as fact just thrown out as a 'hey, this might just be a thing they do - mortals can't know for sure either way!'

Also all godlings are personally tailored by their parent and deliberately born for some mysterious purpose in their parent's plans. So whatever powers and quirks the child has were chosen for them by the god.

'...there aren't a lot of known godlings wandering around (the word "known" is key here; there are some divine surprises as yet unrevealed about the Realms, even after all this time)' It's been mentioned that gods don't have children lightly, due to the costs of creating these investments and the fact that their rivals might prey on them, but worryingly it seems they're not that uncommon either. Bhaal, Beshaba (goddess of bad luck), and Bane have apparently sired a fair few.

Conception of a child will only occur when the deity wills it so, and requires the deity to impart some of their own divine essence. As mentioned in an older post, the god cannot separate the child from that essence unless they surrendered it willingly (or the god is reborn within them through that spark). The deity also decides how much of their essence is imparted to the child, and what shape it will take within them. At the lowest amounts it influences their personality ever so slightly without intruding on their free will (a tendency towards megalomania, in Bane's children; some minor intrusive thoughts of murder and violence amongst Bhaal's least favourite spawn), and at its greatest concentration you get a deity. In between them you get more 'regular' guys with innate powers (Bane's spawn get psionics, the Bhaalspawn power chart from the Dragon article also springs to mind). I'm almost frightened to ask what Beshaba's kids get...

I'm picturing Bhaal distributing parts of himself out and shaping them into his kids, pointing at them like: 'you get loads of innate spells and my avatar' (Charname), 'you get glowing eyes and deathstalker abilities' (Sarevok), 'you get all my full concentrated bloodlust and that thing about tentacles - maybe my avatar if you behave' (Durge), and 'you get an addiction to the colour pink and cinnamon cookies.' (Imoen)

[3-aem]

my toxic trait is picking up random hobbies on a whim like today i went shopping for a cardigan but found No cardigan i liked and so i naturally decided that i can just knit one even tho the only thing i have ever knit was a 8” by 3” rectangle in 5th grade that just looked so pathetic-

[alienoturn]

Brynn and Leon's cookie run version!!!!!! 🍪

I recently got addicted to Cookie run kingdom, so I made Leon (my beloved) and Brynn as cookies!!!!! (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

I disappeared bc of the exams, and Im going to cancel the inktober (OC-tober) I was doing (the same thing happened last year lol 🥲)

I'm back! (I dont promise to post as often, inktober was keeping me drawing ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)