#i want to do something to make everyone understand i want to put myself on the edge of dying so people will finally care
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dreadlord-mr-son ยท 2 days ago
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I don't really imagine MYSELF in sexual fantasies, but I've been increasingly noticing that a LOT of my noncon kink that I put characters through is rooted in autistic trauma?
The struggles with sensations that feel both good and bad at the same time. People shoving you through things you don't want while they insist you have to love it. And you know you don't but they won't fucking listen to you. Not being sure how you feel about something but everyone around you is acting like this is normal so??? maybe it is?? and you'll just??? get used to it eventually??? Wow this feels bad but maybe you're just... doing it wrong? Maybe if you weren't so messed up/confused you could enjoy yourself more? Someone else's entertainment is more important than your comfort, and they're absolutely going to make that a problem for you. You don't fully understand what's going on and no one will explain what they're doing or why they're doing it and this is really scary but you just have to pretend and keep going?
etc
my instagram explore page loves showing me those like erotic dark romance novel tiktoks and i really have to wonder: why do all these straight women desperately want to fuck a mafia boss
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ofpd ยท 18 hours ago
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1st century roman siege of jerusalem dashboard simulator
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๐Ÿฎ barkamtza
why does this shit always happen to me
#oh my goddd the ONE time it seems like people actually wanna hang out with me. #turns out they meant to invite kamtza instead #everyone hates me and i was SO fucking nice i offered to pay for the party #god i'm so pathetic. kms kms kms #they're gonna pay for this i swear #delete later
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๐Ÿ“œ zekharya-ben-avkolas
Ok so obv it's not ok to sacrifice a blemished calf but the blemish is just on the eyelid? So maybe it's ok? But also and i don't want people to start going around thinking that it's ok to sacrifice blemished animals. But the thing is that if i don't bar Kamtza will tell the Romans we insulted them and that will be bad probably. And like no one likes bar Kamtza anyway will people really miss him..... but ugh neither of these seem like good things to do i don't feel like it's my place to make a decision about this :/
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๐Ÿ› vespasian reblogged
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๐Ÿบneronero
off to war wish me luck! ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿน
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๐Ÿบneronero
nvm guys. โœก๏ธโœก๏ธ
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๐Ÿ› vespasian
my turn lol
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๐Ÿง‘๐Ÿฝโ€๐Ÿฆณ not-an-airport reblogged
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๐Ÿง‘๐Ÿฝโ€๐Ÿฆณ not-an-airport
Hey everyone! These are difficult times, and some friends and I have put together some mutual aid resources for our community to have access to wheat, barley, wine, salt, oil, and wood! More info below the cut. Take care of yourselves! ๐Ÿซถ
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๐Ÿง‘๐Ÿฝโ€๐Ÿฆณ not-an-airport
fuck
7,235 notes
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โš”๏ธ biryonei-yerushalayim
anonymous asked:
Hey, I'm trying to ask this in good faith, and I hope you can take it that way. how can you possibly defend burning our grain stores. I understand that you want to radicalize more people but you're taking things too far. Jerusalem's blood is on your hands.
anon, what you need to understand is that the blame for the carnage in jerusalem lies primarily in the hands of the roman invaders and secondarily in the hands of the rabbis for refusing to resist. would you have told the hashmonaim not to resist their oppressors by any means necessary? just because this is getting inconvenient for you doesn't mean we shouldn't be doing it. it's frankly offensive that you'd imply that we, the defenders of jerusalem, should incur any blame for her current state.
#biryonim.answer #grain storage discourse
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๐Ÿ›ก goel-yisrael
did anyone else see the "zealot blocklist" going around lmaooo
#how do these liberals expect anyone to take them seriously #do they not have anything better to do.
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๐Ÿ“š stammaim reblogged
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stopbeingpoor-deactivated3830102
ughh why is my servant so incompetent! i deserve the best flour why doesn't he get it...
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stopbeingpoor
ykw i'll go get some myself. i'm desperate at this point i gotta do something
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stopbeingpoor
EWWWW update: i stepped in something NASTY. this is why i don't fucking go out oh my god im gonna die
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stopbeingpoor
gonna throw my gold & silver away for the good of the peasants or whatever it's not like it's any use to me when im literally dying -_-
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๐Ÿ“š stammaim
lmao look at this it's exactly what yehezkel was talking about! ur gold won't save you!
#yehezkel #marta b. baitos
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๐Ÿ•Ž yalla-hapoel
๐ŸŒฟ amicus-iudaeorum asked:
Hey, love your posts! They're very informative about the Jewish perspective on this war. I'm just wondering whether you condemn the actions of the zealots? I don't really feel comfortable following someone who supports that.
are you fr.
#if youre seriously concerned about this idt this is the blog for you i fear
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๐Ÿ›ก goel-yisrael reblogged
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๐Ÿ“– ben-zakkai
โšฐ๏ธโšฐ๏ธโšฐ๏ธโšฐ๏ธ lol
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๐Ÿ›ก goel-yisrael
? what does this mean
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๐Ÿ—ก abbasikkara
dw about it bestie
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๐Ÿ›ก goel-yisrael
ok ๐Ÿ’— yay ๐Ÿ’—
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๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿฝโ€๐ŸŒพ discoursedumpblog
I've compiled a list of some of the most rabid zealots on this website. Remember, don't engage, just block and move on.
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๐Ÿ› vespasian reblogged
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๐Ÿ› vespasian
some jew got an audience with me & called me king (im literally not lol thats so disrespectful to the actual king + if i was king then he shouldve met w me much earlier??), i think i should kill him
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๐Ÿ› vespasian
AND my shoe is being so annoying. horrible day ๐Ÿ‘Ž
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๐Ÿ“– ben-zakkai
omg just came across this old post
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๐Ÿ› vespasian
OMG sorry i don't mean it anymore ๐Ÿ™
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๐Ÿซ’ a-simple-yid
yirmiyahu tzadak...
#not to pretentiously quote tanakh but literally like. #hashiveinu hashem eilekha venashuva hadeish yameinu kekedem.
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gem-de-lune ยท 2 days ago
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Daily Vibe Check 11/9
It really really paid off to give the other members a breather from vibe checks. They were very transparent and open today compared to usual!
As i mentioned before, the vibe checks for individual members will be briefer than usual unless it's something significant.
Enjoy!
Seunghan
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Ace of Chalices
He's feeling generally well. There is a lot of emotional creative energy being fulfilled after a time of things being much more dry. In other words, he is feeling emotionally fulfilled and refreshed.
Eunseok
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The Chariot
He is feeling generally well. Maybe very collaborative, healthy, and ambitious. This is that 7 card again which could indicate a certain sentiment of comradery making him feel this way. He may be working out lately or just very active.
Sohee
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9 of Wands
He is feeling generally well. He is also feeling ambitious and active. Maybe in a more laid back way though. He is still really focused on his taks at the moment but putting pieces in place for the future he wishes to protect. So in general, he is just working and staying chill.
Shotaro
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5 of Chalices
So generally he is feeling immature today? That's the vibe. I pulled another card for myself to clarify this and pulled the Devil. There are more layers to that I will discuss later. But generally, Taro seems to be stuck in a more negative mindset right now. I think he is very suseptible to this which is why a lot of times he will come off as unserious or sarcastic- or fall off the face of the earth to decompress and return to normal. Right now, I think he has shut down physically, emotionally, maybe even mentally due to his anxieties. However with this card it is clear it is a bit of an overreaction due to his impatience and uncertainties he is annoyed over. He may be very lazy and not willing to put in a lot of effort right now.
Anton
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The Devil
Yup this is the extra layer we are adding. The fact that I have pulled this for him tells me one of two things. Either A- they duked it out, or B- Anton is the one mainly handling or wmpathizing with Taro right now. He may feel a bit suffocated by these feelings but he fully understands and validates Taro. Generally, he is feeling OK, but more so influenced by the bad feelings of Shotaro and trying to not sink into the same realm of negativity. I pulled the Empress after this so they will be fine in the end. Just a little phase here.
Wonbin
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6 of Wands
He is generally feeling good. He may be starting a routine of sorts. He feels good about things in terms of the direction they are heading in, so he is putting a lot of physical effort in. He may be doing a lot of creative physical activities like dancing lately.
Sungchan
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King of Swords
He is feeling generally well but closer to neutral. There are no super strong emotions. More than that, he is likely feeling very communicative and collaborative. He is focused on some sort of results or rather he wants or DEMANDS to have some results to a certain standard for him to be satisfied at the moment. He is more focused on this than anything.
How is SM feelings about bringing Seunghan Back?
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Strength + 10 of Pentacles
Very good omen. The 10 of pentacles is about permanence. If they are feeling this way about the matter then they may be considering it seriously at the very least. But personally I believe they have already made a decision of sorts. With the Strength card as well this suggests that the conclusion will be reached victoriously after a lot of enduring and perseverance.
Bottom of my deck:
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3 of Wands
I am going to start reading the bottom of the deck card so we can read the general energy surrounding the entire situation. Currently it is the 3 of Wands. This is about confidence and planning to me. In regards to this situation, and this is something I wanted to put in ending notes too: EVERYONE is working together to make sure that bringing Seunghan back is not only a reality, but a safe and loving reality for him. Mostly everyone is moving forwards with this sentiment, but being patient as we work is also extrmely important.
Final Notes:
For remaining notes, I will be sharing a reply to an ask post on my Tumblr, which I think sums up a lot of what we need to be doing. If you haven't seen it already, read it here: ๐Ÿฉต
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totally-titular ยท 2 days ago
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When I think to myself about the male loneliness epidemic or the absolute exhaustion I feel explaining what feminism is to a man who doesn't think it's necessary for the millionth time, I think about isolation and how being told you're monstrous by one population can push you right into the arms of true monsters that tell you they'll accept you so long as you act just like them.
I think about how isolation is the first thing abusers push for in relationships because they understand how that dynamic works. How forcing a partner to strip away their friendships leaves only one damaging connection. How complicit religious institutions are in enforcing that isolation.
I think about high school bullies, the kind that gang up on you because that's the only way they know to fit in.
I think about my nephew. I think about my nephew, and how he gets angry when he gets in trouble, but once he realizes he's done something that hurt someone, even accidentally, all he wants is to kiss away the boo boos and make sure they're okay.
I think about holding that little boy close and telling him he is loved, he is loved, he is loved, and hoping desperately that that's enough to keep him from the alt-right pipeline as he grows up.
God, I hope it's enough.
But here's the thing. If it's not? If he grows up and puts a confederate flag on his car? Demeans women, glorifies violence? I wouldn't stop loving him and treating him kindly. Reaching my hand out in the hopes that, one day, he takes it, even if he slaps it away a thousand times. That's what love is.
But I wouldn't condone his behavior, wouldn't stay silent. I wouldn't tell him I'm proud of his decisions, because I can't compromise my own morals to soften the blow of my disappointment.
But there is no world in which I would tell him that he is irredeemable, that he is monstrous, that he is unlovable by virtue of the parts he was born with. You can judge someone by their actions, sure, but actions can change. Minds and hearts can change. They just need a hand.
This is an incredibly nuanced topic, but at the end of the day cruelty begets cruelty. Kindness may be what we're missing. Kindness is not capitulation, and it's not people-pleasing. It doesn't have to be sacrificial, and in this case it should never be at your own expense.
Men are lovable. Men have the capacity for kindness and goodness and joy and peace and laughter. Men are a people capable of great feats of strength and vulnerability. Men deserve to live the life that they want... But not at the expense of everyone else.
For those men who are trapped in the alt-right pipeline, there is a way out, back to kindness. Back to respect. Back to basic human decency. All you have to do is decide - do you want to be the kind of man who is loved, or do you want to be the kind of man who is feared?
Take my hand.
I get the good intentions behind it, but something feels off about responding to the observation that white cishet men are becoming radicalized towards racism and misogyny with "maybe you should have been nicer to the men"
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neuvigroove ยท 1 day ago
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๐’Š ๐’…๐’๐’'๐’• ๐’‰๐’‚๐’—๐’† ๐’‚๐’๐’š ๐’„๐’‚๐’“๐’…๐’” ๐’๐’†๐’‡๐’• ๐’•๐’ ๐’‘๐’๐’‚๐’š.
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pairings. scaramouche x fem reader synopsis. scaramouche swore to himself to protect you from dottore, but in order to do so, he must abandon you. before he leaves though, he makes sure to put a smile on your face. genre/warnings. pure angst, written in scara's pov, reader is energetic and childish, she/her pronouns used for reader, mentions of blood, stabbing, and death wc. 1.1k a/n. i actually shed a tear while writing this and listening to summertime sadness. playlist. die first - nessa barrett, summertime sadness - lana del rey, train wreck - james arthur
[2:39pm]
today is y/n's birthday.
i can see her in the near distance, skipping around like an excited little kid. she's always had too much energy for me to bear, but perhaps i've grown used to it, seeing that she's always glued to my side for some reason unknown to me.
that bliss however, will change today. dottore knows about where she's from. a planet far from the depths of teyvat. a globe dominated solely by the human race with no room for elemental power. a planet currently known as earth.
very little is known about this planet, which only causes dottore's interest to peak. her origin makes her the perfect test subject for the doctor, but i will not let him lay a dirty fingernail on her.
we cannot continue to travel as one; dottore will find her if she's with me. i don't have any cards left to play.
i do worry that leaving her alone would put her in another danger. she carries no vision, nor any strength that could compare to the creatures of teyvat. however, nothing is more dangerous than becoming an experiment of the second fatui harbinger. on the inside i know she'll be okay. she can find-
she can find my replacement. a new companion.
my only option is to watch over her from the shadows. that is the only way i can protect her.
sometimes i can tell that i hurt her feelings when we converse. but my personality is something i can't change, and she's never seemed to want change from me. perhaps that's why i've enjoyed her company more than i could ever enjoy another human being's. she understands me more than i think she does.
since i made her cry on her last birthday, i've decided that i could attempt to make her smile this time around. in my defense though, the cookies she made for us to share together were truly detrimental. but... maybe my words were too harsh. i forget what i said exactly... "you wanna poison me? are you so dumb as to have forgotten that i'm not human?"
my eyes trail back to ms. craziness and my eyes widen when she trips over a tree branch. i actually have no idea how i've been traveling together with a girl who has two left legs without dying. i don't notice the tears streaming from my eyes until she looks my way and spots me.
she runs over to me, and i quickly wipe the useless, hot tears. when i see her happy expression, i need to make an effort not to let the guilt eat me alive. i think i've admitted it to myself a while ago, but i love y/n. i'd presumed just as everyone else that i'm a puppet incapable of anything close to love, but if what i feel for y/n isn't love then i'm not sure what it is. i am positive that it is love. when you experience pain, you don't doubt it and assume it's something else. you just feel. and when i'm with her i feel.
"SCARA!" y/n exclaims as she topples me over in a hug. i nearly fall to the ground, but i'm able to catch us before it's too late. gosh, can she even contain her energy for two rational seconds?
i shove her off of me, but before i can say anything, she excitedly holds up a compass-like trinket in my face. "look! a sweet young boy gave me this lovely compass! it's supposed to lead you to wherever you'll be the happiest! and~ it led me right to you! we are just the perfect little duo, aren't we scara?"
i scoff, "and you believe that? it led you towards me because i'm standing north from where you were earlier."
y/n's excited expression drops.
"oh..." she pouts. "well... we can still pretend, right?"
pretend. maybe i can pretend she'll always be with me.
"pretending won't get you anywhere in life," i respond flatly.
"oh, but you pretend all the time," she responds. "i know you sometimes pretend that you can't hear me when i ramble about random things. although it hurts my feelings, you're still my best friend, scara."
what she said is actually not true. i in fact remember everything she rambles about in great detail. like that one time she was complaining about how she hates her hair because the wind blows it in an unattractive way. it was just so annoying because she needs to set her priorities straight. her appearance should be the last of her worries.
"give me your hand," i say. my voice is softer than i intended it to be. when she extends her hand, i slip a diamond bracelet around her wrist. on it is a charm with her nickname for me engraved in the center: scara.
please don't forget about me.
"oh, scara... it's beautiful! I'll never take it off. i promise."
"i have a matching one," i respond as i hold up my wrist for her the see.
she smiles when she sees the nickname engraved on my bracelet: princess.
there it is. her smile.
i sigh. "human, i know that you have your other shenanigans to deal with today, as do i. but meet me up that hill in the forest at sunset."
"oh, okay? scara, why are you being extra nice today?"
"um," i attempt a half smile. "it's your birthday, isn't it?"
[6:03pm]
i pick up the sword from the wet grass of the forest mountain beneath me. it's raining hard tonight. y/n is going to catch a cold, and i won't be there to care.
i walk over to the puppet standing across from me. my puppet. the puppet i've created to fake my own death. isn't it funny? the puppet of a puppet. both abandoned by their creators.
i take my bracelet off and slip it on its wrist. she has to believe it's me.
"i'm sorry," i whisper before stabbing my clone in the chest. i close my eyes when i hear my own voice cry out in a short-lived pain. it falls to the ground, lifeless as i walk away into the forest.
the bloodshed spreads with the heavy rain, and moments later, i see y/n approach the dead body. there she is.
and i feel as if my nonexistent heart has cracked in half when she screams. my eyes close in a sort of pain i've never experienced before. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, princess. it's the only way you wouldn't look for me.
i wish that a day will come where we can be partners again. but on the inside i know that her human lifespan is not long enough to fulfill that silly wish.
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scaramouche fanart credit: X (Twitter) : llxx88103769
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ihatethisstuf ยท 2 days ago
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This is a scheduled post (From, November 2nd, 2024, It's supposed to be posted November 24th, but Idrk how to schedule, so we just pray it works). Trigger warning for (in a positive connotation) self harm (its bit graphic) and mention of suicide. If you were mentioned, but those are a trigger for you, skip to the part you were mentioned (it'll be mentioned in grey), do not force yourself to go through it.
I know this is a rp blog. But, everyone who interacted, roleplayed with, damn simply reblogging it, had an huge impact on this achievement.
On November, 24th of 2023, I cutted myself. It took me to the ER. Thankfully, I did not get stitches, but it did leave a scar, a scar I thought would haunt me forever.
Spoiler: It didn't.
I remember the doctor asking me if I had suicidal thoughts or ever attempted it, and I knew that depending on my answer, it could take me to a psychiatric unit; I didn't want that. I didn't want the fear of explaining it to family or friends. So I lied, I lied, putting in mind that from then on, I'd commit to that never ever happening again. And here I am. 1 year free. And tell you something, these 2 months were hell, but every notification, every interaction, it was a daily motivation: "I need to finish that arc," "I could make more posts like it", so I can only say thank you and sorry if I sounded desperate sometimes, it felt like here was my only escape
Part of my young 5-year-old me, who dreamed of being themselves, without fear, was healed by this blog; I can thankfully be the EVIL VILLAIN MUAHAHAHA, and know that it's not that bad, know that liking villains does not make me a bad person, it does not mean I'm some sort of psychopath as some other kids would tell me.
Honestly, I completely understand if these blogs mods don't read it, bc it might be triggering, but I'll mention, just in case.
@one-sixer-please (I love interacting with your blog, is always fun, and it truly motivated me in my shittiest days)
@askdrunkbillcipher (Bruhh, your account is like the funniest I've ever interacted with, I don't even know what to say, just, thank you.)
@theaxolotl-god (You were one of the first accs I've ever interacted with, and truly helped me to keep going)
@river-nonbinary-billcipherfan (I've learned so much from your acc, and omg, thank you. Thank you for existing and being who you are)
@17ghostsinatrenchcoat (You seem such a genuinely nice person irl, I am really proud of you :])
@trickstertriangle (I wanna hug you/p, I love interacting with your blog and I truly hope the best for you.)
@bills-library (You were my inspiration to start this blog)
@sillycato (I love you so much/p you deserve thd world, omg infinite hugs and presents for you, you are an angel, this Lucas btw, just if you don't know lol)
@pandagobrr (I would always smile at your notifications, thank you ^^)
@ever-growing-system (I was research anon, and y'all truly helped me to figure out more of myself and my triggers, thank you :,])
If you're mentioned here, thank you so much for making this app a place that I could run to in my darkest days.
And if you're not mentioned here, there's two possible answers
1st- I forgot you and I'm sosososo sorry๐Ÿ˜ญ
2nd- Idrk you or dont interact much, but anyways, thank you for existing, breathing, getting out of bed, I'm so fucking proud of you. (Even who was mentioned, this is for you too)
I was always so scared that people wouldn't like me and that if I said one little thing wrong I was a terrible person, and I learned so much in this one year, that I finally can say, I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of going the lengths I went. There is lots to work on myself, I know there is, but one step at a time and maybe, one day, I might get there. But for now, I'll attempt into just not triggering myself.
-Lucas/Hyper
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quaranmine ยท 2 months ago
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On Wednesday before I gave my presentation I confessed to a new employee that I was worried it would be too long and she brightly told me her life hack was to just let AI rewrite things for her. She said I should put in all my talking points and ask ChatGPT to give me a five minute exactly presentation. I was like....how is the most polite possible way (since this is a new colleague I shouldn't get off on the wrong foot with) that I can express that I will Not be taking this advice. Ever. I told her that I didn't think we were allowed to use ChatGPT at this job (we most certainly are not, it is a nightmare for any type of protected information) and also that I prefer to write all of my own work. Despite my best efforts the last part of that was still passive aggressive, lol.
Something about being a writer makes it so that it's almost offensive to me for someone to suggest I use AI to do my work instead? Like, the day I reach the point where I let AI write something for me is the day y'all need to be checking me for brain damage because clearly I'm losing it
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thetepes ยท 1 day ago
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Bunฤƒ seara, my migraine inflicted friend. Take a nice hot bath. I have this well in hand.
And Bunฤƒ seara, not so friendly anonymous. I am The ศšepeศ™. I am a trans person of Japanese and Romani heritage over 30 who has been in the Lily sphere for some time. You are in good hands. So sit down and listen to your, probably given her age range of fans and followers, LGBTQ+ Elder. Now, let's begin with the very first issue here...
What is happening is not pedojacketing.
I understand, I really do, that it's hard to find the meanings for these terms. A lot of our language is buried in blogs, videos, and forums where finding a consensus of the meanings is near impossible. I struggled myself as a nonnative English speaker to find the meaning of things that are so insular to our community and ended up having to take the time to really sit and talk with others and learn through examples of what is and isn't. I'm afraid you've fallen into a bad faith interpretation of this word.
Pedojacketing is not accusing a transwomen or LGBTQ+ member of pedophilia. It is accusing them falsely. Without proof or reason.
Now, I do not know about you, but I am a very critical person by nature. Being a person of not just nonwhite, but mixed race has conditioned me to not accept off the cuff accusations especially with no proof readily offered. Good proof, not all proof is created equal.
Let me show you what convinced me. I can't show you everything I saw because posting Stockholm itself would be a horrible idea, but I did read parts of that as it was put out at the time it was put out and it has absolutely been provably tied to Lily without a shadow of a doubt not just by me seeing her posting parts of it at the time, but by her own words and data proof.
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And something else I rarely see people talk about, but was the biggest nail in the coffin was a RPGgame she made called Doomsday Ascending. I was in the MLP fandom with this was dropped and saw it dropped and saw everyone's reactions to it, but did not play it myself after hearing what was in it because I am a victim of incestual childhood sexual assault. Going back through my messages though that I saved I have this screenshot.
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It is filled and I mean filled with rape, incest, pedophilia and Lily's characters. This is totally and completely tied to Lily in a way no one can deny and the video of the "easter eggs" shows the very disturbing porn that was put in that game. The video is still up. This is something I do not care about how long ago it was made, same with Stockholm.
At one point you could have said it was made a very long time ago, but Lily negated that when she outright denied ever making these things. Multiple times. Including saying that someone used AI to make her say she wrote Stockholm ignoring the fact that AI tech is very new and didn't exist when she was pointed out as having made these things.
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This isn't pedojacketing.
Media aside, Lily has victims. Victims that have publicly posted their stories and it is not my place to speak for them. Please listen to them and their stories of abuse. We are so rarely heard. No matter how loud we scream no one seems to listen until it's too late and there's another victim. Don't let there be another victim. Especially her sister who she abused and raped.
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Lily has echoed her abuse of her sister in her writing from PokeMad house to Stockholm. I can't speak on it more, listen to her.
Britt has repeatedly shared her own experience.
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Lizzy's experience is well documented, but please leave her be she's repeatedly said she wants no involvement with any of this anymore and just wants to move on.
There are minors other that have spoken out on their grooming and exposure by Lily that have stated their experiences especially the one who was very specifically flashed on stream after Lily told him to join and see why it was marked 18+. That is not the only flashing. There is another documented flashing WITH Mikay also flashing the camera. Obviously I can not share those screenshots, but that is well documented.
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Here's Lily arguing why it's ok to flash on youtube? I don't know why you'd argue that. Apparently, one of her girlfriends asked her to and she just did it. I'm as baffled as you are.
I hope this helps you understand where we're coming from and why these accusations have been so pervasive for so many years. Please remember, the majority of these accusations come from LGBTQ+ people themselves and we speak out at the theoretical threat of making our community look worse if we're being untrue. No one here wants this kind of accusations to be made among us. No one here wants this kind of drama. We are saying these things for the sake of truth, safety, and it being the right thing to do.
Have a kinder night than the morning you awoke to.
are y'all really that dense? why wouldn't lily be aggressive when sai and the others support transmisogynistic pedojacketing weirdos like you? there's no normal dude on the "lily orchard critical community" who just disagrees with lily and her media takes, all of you are intertwined and constantly propagate the same disgusting accusations be it directly or via proxy, lily doesnt owe y'all ANY respect.
Pedojacketing means baseless accusations of pedophilia. The accusations against Lily are about as far from baseless as you can possibly get.
I've had to clarify and dig up evidence and rehash things she's said to me for people who refuse to look at any of it again and again and I've got a migraine today and I'm fuckin tired...
@thetepes would you mind taking this one..
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anaalnathrakhs ยท 5 months ago
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honestly i think i feel more comfortable w things like "miss" and other generally more childish ways to talk about. female people? i dunno how to de-age it. anyway what i mean is that gendered expectations & gendered everything vary quite a lot depending on people's ages, and especially (assuming no abuse is going on) there can be kind of a "free pass" for non-conformity when you're a kid, just like there can be a free pass for all sorts of polite social manners until you're too old to like, play in the mud.
if you call me miss, you're playing along, you're being jokingly overly polite to a little kid who is clearly not old enough to need an honorific before their name. it's like you're calling me a teen or an adult. if you call me ma'am you're seeing a woman. you're acknowledging what you see. the primary point has shifted from age to gender. and i don't know if i'm really comfortable being perceived as very much solidly a woman.
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sabraeal ยท 2 years ago
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as a writer how do you stop thinking about like getting kudos/comments? I've just started writing fanfic, and when I start a writing something -- it goes well and then eventually I get to point where I'm like "ahh but what the readers don't like that? or what if I don't get as many kudos or comments" and it makes it difficult to continue because then it becomes stressful -- I guess how do you deal with "wanting to write stuff for yourself" and "wanting validation" thanks!
You're going to hate this answer, because I hated it too, but TIME. When you first start writing and you get kudos and comments and people love what you're doing, it's a huge validation of your effort and talent, and it's natural that you want MORE of it. When I first started putting up fics I already had been writing for 15+ years, knew I was good at it, and still for a good few years found myself really glued to the hit counter, and the kudos, and wondering how I'd be able to get people to comment the same way they did on things like Seven Suitors.
But the thing is that commenting comes and goes in waves, and unless a fandom has a big comment culture, or is large enough that you're guaranteed a good glut of them every time you post...you're going to hit a point where you write exactly what everyone wants and get crickets. And at that point you'll get ANNOYED, because LOOK, I MADE THIS, i made it for YOU GUYS, and now y'all don't have anything to say? It'll get to you. It'll make you doubt that you know what anyone wants at all. It'll happen and it'll suck the whole time.
Lots of advice will say "write for yourself," which is an excellent sentiment. You should always write what YOU want. Put into your fic what you want to see, write the nitpicky poetic metaphors and craft the most screwball twists your heart desires. Pour yourself into the most niche AUs and most tin-hat canon theories. At the end of the day, you want the IDEAS you put down to be for you, because comments and kudos are nice, but if they don't come...you have to be proud of what you put out, even when it feels like an echo chamber.
But also...we don't POST things for ourselves. We post things to share. Fic are a conversation with canon and it is perfectly natural to want to create something that creates conversation among other fans. So you're never going to fully get the need for validation out of your head, you're not. You can hide hit counts and ignore your inbox all you like, but the want to have someone interact with your work, to inspire someone to reach out to you will ALWAYS be there. You just have to create a healthier relationship with it.
Be confident in what you write. Think less about whether people will like it, and more about how you WANT them to react. The reader is the most important character in any novel, but it's the one most authors forget to manage. When you come to a point where you go "oh man, I hope this is good for them!" stop and go, "what do I *want* them to be feeling here?" Focus on where you're putting their attention and whether you WANT it there. There's so much you can do when you visualize your relationship with the reader as PART of the work, and it takes off a lot of the pressure of "is this good? is it disappointing? will this get me validation?" and brings it back into the realm of storytelling. You are taking your reader on a journey, and when you do it well people will think less about "did I like that?" and more about "what comes next?"
#asks#writing advice#writing#please understand nonnie that what you are feeling is completely natural and part of the process#and shades of that will stick with you no matter how good you get#but the thing you want to keep in the center of your mind when it comes to that#is that you can only get kudos once on a fic and you are lucky to get a 1:100 comment vs hits ratio#so the instant validation WILL dry up and you'll have to have something about your story#that makes you push through. because people will come back and comment!#people will blow through 50+ chapter and leave you the most emotionally hungover review promising you their first borns#but sometimes you will have written a good third of them with NO feedback whatsoever#and you just have to trust in yourself that it's good. it's FINE#i used to obsessively check hits and be really put out to see how many people were coming and not commenting#especially when i wrote really emotionally driven stuff and really tore myself up to get those feelings through#but i also would have been miserable only writing fluffy 1 or 2 shots with no plot just to get the flush of comments those fics get#you just gotta do what you gotta do and let your audience find you. recontextualizing the relationship helps a LOT#i already was big on focusing on the meta plot of my works because as i said. 15+ years. had a lot of time to experiment and get good#but i still had to like. give myself the same pep talk 2 years in about how to view that relationship#everyone goes through it and if they say they don't they're a liar and i mean that seriously ๐Ÿคฃ
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our-lady-of-mcr ยท 6 months ago
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like ๐Ÿ˜” god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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barnabybrainrot ยท 1 year ago
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#mod posts#idk dude i am so conflicted abt this โ€˜barnaby is overratedโ€™ shit#on one hand im likeโ€ฆ wow another person who feels heโ€™s overrated. daring today are we?#on the other im likeโ€ฆ i understand what its like when the character you like isnt the popular one in the community#like i normally tend to hyperfixate on the side characters so i absolutely know how frustrating it is#i also know from personal experience that a lot of it can just be hating it solely BECAUSE its popular#when i was like 14 and undertale came out i hated it just bc it was popular. and then i played it myself and yknow what? i enjoyed it#likeโ€ฆ its okay not to like something!! everyone has unique tastes#and i also understand the concern abt barnaby being treated like snatcher (i know NOTHING abt snatcher so dont. quote me on that)#like theres a chance the โ€˜fanonโ€™ version of barnaby will be given precedence over โ€˜canonโ€™#the same shit happened with sans. remember all those sans/reader fics where sans was this edgy mysterious guy?#yet in fanon hes just a funni little skeleton who likes bad jokes?#yet in *canon jesus christ i cant spell today#but like. can we just let people enjoy things if they arent hurting anyone?#like i get it its annoying sometimes. like i had to mute the oc tag bc i was tired of seeing RP stuff#but im not like. going into their inboxes and telling them theyre bad ppl for enjoying a popular character yknow?#sorry this is making like. no sense. and im sorry to put it in tags but i do NOT want this spreading#anyways. those are my thoughts for today.
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heyitslapis ยท 11 months ago
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I don't have time for people who don't have time for me
I don't have time for people who don't have time for me
I don't have time for people who don't have time for me
#yes yes i know adult life leaves little room for spending time with people who you care about & even if we have time we're burnt out#but my whole adult life has been white-knuckled clinging to relationships or people that barely if ever send that energy back#as soon as theyre onto the next person that will entertain them. as soon as theyve found something to fill the time that i usually take up#as soon as theyve gotten all they wanted from me emotionally. as soon as its inconvient to see me. almost as soon as theyre bored#then suddenly its me waiting for a text. waiting for a day to hang out. hearing over and over again that yet another thing is more importan#than me. and i get it. life happens. schools important. work is important. rest is important. but at the point im at in my life#im looking for people who actually make an effort not just give months and months of excuses as to why they suddenly cant hang out#im a pushover. im easy-going. im a very understanding person. i get it bc theres also very few days per week that im free to socialize#but i cant keep letting myself act subservient to everyone else in my life. i always put my friends & potential friends so high on pedestal#i treat them & their time as precious. now i refuse to let someone do anything but the same for me. my time/energy/love is just as precious#i dont deserve only a text when you need something from me or just to act as a treat to tide me over until the next transgression#and i certainly am NOT going to be the person that you can stand-up and then expect to still answer your text. not anymore.#in prioritizing my mental health lately ive realized that this pattern HAS TO STOP. i cant allow myself to continue the same harmful cycles#i deserve better. i need better. i WANT BETTER#emma vents#vent tag#healing tag
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mydr3aminvi0let ยท 6 months ago
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was โ€œprove itโ€ so i did and mf said โ€œTHATS HOTโ€ ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time ๐Ÿ˜‘ it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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piplupod ยท 1 year ago
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#i think it is because i am so desperate and miserable probably#but i just really wish i knew why i am not likeable fjfkdl#i feel like there is something so obvious that im oblivious to somehow. and everyone else sees it and hates it#and i just. cant figure it out#i feel like im one of those hateful bigots who cry abt how nobody likes them and its so obvious why nobody likes them#i hope I'm not that. but maybe i am idk. i cannot figure it out and im just really tired of trying and failing w ppl#fumbling every attempt to make friends#theres ppl being v nice to me on a sideblog where I've been sharing art and stuff and I'm just constantly waiting for me to fuck it up#and then they will realize whatever it is about me that puts everyone off. and i will lose the chances of friendship.#im so scared and tired. i just want to understand what im doing wrong so i can fix it and be better and be likeable#idk i think there is just smth inherently wrong within me. im off putting somehow. there is smth festering at my core maybe#and everyone else can just /sense/ it. and i am trying so hard to be good at socializing and friendships but i somehow fumble it always#i just wish i knew what it was that im doing wrong#or like... if its smth inherent within me I'd also like to know so i can just accept it finally and move on#argh idk this is so pathetic probably but i am just so frustrated w myself tonight#im just constantly waiting for me to somehow mess things up w the nice ppl in my life rn and be left without that again#and im not doing anything to self sabotage even!! im just treading very carefully!! and trying my best to be good!!#but it seems to always go wrong somehow like ppl just... pull away#idk. i feel so terrified that it's so obvious whats wrong w me and im just not seeing it#i keep trying to look but i cannot see what it is so idk !! i keep looking!! i dont understand !!
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cetoddle-archive ยท 1 year ago
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like i just don't get it
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