#i want to be loved so much

[littlemoondarling]

Just a little vent, I don't think it'll be triggering but I'll come back after I'm done to see if it is.

Future moony here tw for self harm and transphobia

I've been keeping a happy face for as long as I could, smiling and laughing and burying my anger down and ignoring all my problems just to live another day without making it difficult for the people I love.. but I'm tired, I feel like something inside me is broken, an important irreparable piece and I can't find anything to fix it with, I tape it up sometimes, cover it up, pretend it doesn't exist but the moment I allow my brain to think it goes back to center stage.

I can't help it. I think I was born wrong, I remember being four and holding a pen to my eyeball but never having the guts to actually stab it, I remember being six and sitting infront of the shoe rack and talk to the shoes, every one of them having a different personality. I remember being seven and daydreaming about my favourite character getting tortured. I remember when I was 11 and an old man who was my friend died and I couldn't even cry about it. I remember my 14th birthday where I hid in the bathroom and kept hitting my knee with a brush until it swelled twice the size.

I remember in seventh grade when my teacher humiliated me infront of everyone because I was staring at his hands when he was looking through papers, I remember how two years before that he also humiliated me infront of the class because I swallowed the gum and told him I wasn't chewing instead of being honest and telling him I was. He became my favourite teacher despite him never being kind to me, I don't know why, it scares me sometimes how attached I got to him, how much I loved him.

I remember when my teacher hugged and comforted my friend when she cried after being caught cheating on a test saying she can't handle seeing a kid cry but when I was reciting a few weeks later and she forced me to stop fidgeting with my hands making me too nervous to remember what I spent the entirety of thr day before memorising and crying she just told me to stand in the corner until the period ended, and then she did the same thing next week, insisting I recite the paragraph I couldn't and making me stand there crying infront of everyone.

I remember when my mom once told me she had a transgender friend, that she saw them crying in the bathroom about wanting be a man, how she comforted him and believed him. But when I cry and breakdown and hurt myself because of my dysphoria infront of her I'm... not trans, I'm just a silly little girl, and all silly little girls wish they were boys, but once they meet a big man who will stick his fat cock in them and get them pregnant they will realise that they really are a woman.

I don't know what I was born without, I don't know if.. If I will keep getting worse until I inevitably become another "We didn’t see any signs". I don't think anyone realises how hard I try to act like how a human is supposed to, to make the right amount of eye contact, to use the greetings other people use, I still feel so... odd.. like I'm always the odd one in any room, that everyone can tell I'm only acting that I'm not really like them that I'm fucked that something is wrong with this girl but they can't tell what.

I hate how emotional I am, how even the tiniest change in tone sends me into an anxiety attack, how I can't get over things as easily as others do. And I hate that I'm right when I'm anxious, when I fear I'm the last choice I always end up having been that, when I fear I did something wrong I always end up having done so even if they try to hide it.

I'm tired, tired of always being the one exception to people's empathy and kindness, tired of living in a country that's always under bombing and war, tired of not being able to be loved by anyone, tired of being constantly watched by a god who didn’t care to create me right, tired of my body and my hormones and the expectations that they set on me. I'm tired of waking up every day but being afraid of dying and going to hell. I'm tired of never seeing my aunt eventhough I know she wouldn't have loved me the same way if she knew I was queer and trans. I'm tired of every waking minute being reminded of this wrongness in me, of every interaction I have with my closest of friends feeling like a landmine, a dance between being useful and understanding enough that they don't just drop me and not being tryhard and too much that I weird them out.

I just want to be normal, I want to love normally and feel normally and behave normally. I wish I was born okay.

[tawnysoup]

Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3

If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods

[ideologyofone]

I’m sorry but I will truly never get over Ekko who lost his mentor and all his friends at a young age, then spent the rest of his childhood building a beautiful and strong community that helped get shimmer addicts off the streets and give them a new life that thrived off of trust, respect, and loyalty while slowly watching the girl he loves lose herself to her psyche and become an unhinged suicidal terrorist who he is unable to save despite repeated attempts at it. And THEN gets booted into an alternate reality where he learns he could have had EVERYTHING, the beautiful and thriving community, the education, his family, and the girl he loves and he heartbreakingly leaves it all behind because he knows he doesn’t belong there and he has to go back to save his people which he DOES multiple times at great risk despite knowing what overextending his z-drive could do only to end up completely alone in the end. The most selfless character in the entire series. That’s my boy savior.

[cloud-ya]

outcast of the village

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[krussyarts]

So that act 2 huh

(original doodle + smth extra under cut)

The gang! "Huh", "wake me up inside by evanescence", "do yuo hav gamez on ur phobne" and "i brought a gun to the rave" anywayy i drew them together

[snarkspawn]

did I doodle this mostly so I had an excuse to draw this spite reaction image?

(YES HAHAHA YES!!!)

[bug-s0da]

blehhh...

i made an aa/lawyersona of @snapscube :3 we all know and love the lawyer+silly girl duos of ace attorney but it's about time the silly girl became the lawyer

[hinamie]

post-graduation trip airport looks

[platoapproved]

louis + cruelty

[sonykatzen]

pretty boy

[sableleatherywingsopeninthe711]

my job under siege by zant's foul army

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[mangomercy]

harrowhark nonagesimus is the character of all time. she weighs 6 stone soaking wet. she doesn’t sleep. she’s 200 dead babies. she puppets her dead mum and dad. she’s a nun. she’s in love with a frozen corpse. she gets a headache when people talk about sex. she wants to die. her bodyguard is in love with her. her weird colleague is in love with her. she gave herself a lobotomy. she’s being piloted by the soul of the planet earth. she loves bones. she wants to live. she makes soup. she watched god have a threesome. she looks like a ferret. this is all canon

[batcavescolony]

*Talia visiting Damian*

Talia: Damian, how are you? *glares at Dick*

Damian: I am doing well mother

Dick: *from behind him* *mouthing: why the fuck are you here?*

Talia: oh that's great! I see you have a new pet? *Mouthing back: to see MY son*

Damian: this is Haley, Grayson's dog, she's staying with me while he goes on a mission.

Dick: *flipping Talia off where Damian can't see* yep, he's so good with animals

Talia: I'm aware *throws a knife at him*

Dick: *throws it back*

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

You're just not toxic enough.