#i want to be home
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Scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling mindless scrolling mindless scrolling scrolling
I can't keep myself off of my phone I just keep scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling mindless scrolling mindless scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling
Just trying to distract just trying to survive the day
Scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling
#mindless scrolling#scrolling#doom scrolling#mindless#distracted#survive#survival mode#hopefully one day I'll be where I want to be#i want to be home
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#this vacation was really mid#I’m glad I got myself out of the city#but this place really should be done in a day trip#the food didn’t blow me away but every meal even breakfast was $30+#I spent the whole time going in and out of shops which I guess is fun but I don’t get a sense of place#there wasn’t anything meaty except the art museum#which was great but it took an hour#this proves I really need to plan out vacations I guess#I’m still glad I did it. I got better sleep in that hotel than I have in months at home#and even tho my feet are destroyed the walking was good exercise I guess#I’m so ready to get home and not move for a while#honestly tho I respect the whole ‘reject chain stores’ ethos#but there is literally nowhere to go and just sit down inside without having to buy something#that’s one good thing about Starbucks and caffe Nero.#they’re exploitive chains but unfortunately aside from libraries they’re as close to third spaces as you can get#my desperate quest for somewhere to chill led me to a cafe that I thought was a coffee shop#but that apparently was next door#so I had another $25 meal cause I decided to just go w the flow#ugh#an hour to the ferry#I want to be home
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I just wanna go the fuck home
#I looked forward to this so much#but the people I went with are fucking trash and I’m over it#I want to be home
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watches kikis delivery service and experiences 500 different emotions and cries and cries and cries
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I need time travel to be real so I can just fast-forward this bullshit
#I dont want to be a person#the ongoing battle between wanting to go to bed and not wanting to be alone#my room is actually hell I think#I want to be home#I also so don't want to be home#I just want a normal fucking room#And a normal relationship with loneliness#lmao the lonely core#I'm actually just chilling dw#I'm just chilling in Cedar Rapids
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Three more hours on this road trip from hell, kill me, I’m car sick.
#it’s always in the backseat too#I’m not sitting in the front with my maniac brother#he drives like he’s on fucking lsd#I feel the migraine starting#I want to be home#in my bed#with my dog#and some ice cream#fuck
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my month long very intense study abroad program ended day before yesterday and since then my joints have hurt so much more than they even did during the program after like 16 hour days of walking and standing. I think now that I have the chance to rest it's all catching up to me and my body is just like 'what the fuck was that. Fuck you.'
And you know what? I can respect that. My joints deserve to get to say fuck you back to me sometimes
#i'm still not going to be properly home for almost another week but at least I'm staying in one place now#and trying to give myself the grace to relax and watch youtube all day instead of pushing myself to go out and walk all the way across rome#hEDS#chronic pain#my ribs hurt#my knees hurt#my hands hurt#i want to be home#like I'm genuinely not even that upset right now I'm just a little numb#this program was great but it was just So Much All the Time#a couple baby goats some rabbits and some kittens are what got me through the last two days
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I want to go home
#just blahs#apologies for all the sad guy posting today but i prommy ill be normal again tmrw#probably#anyways#i want to get out of this house#i want to be home#i want to have a life#i want to be able to get out of bed in the morning#i want to be able to actually do things i enjoy#i want to be able to draw all my art requests#i want to do the inktober challenges#i want to live#because right now im barely surviving#maybe my new anxiety meds that i got today will help#maybe my mom will remember to help me start therapy again#maybe ill figure out how to take that mental health questionnaire my doctor suggested i take#maybe maybe maybe#maybe tomorrow#but not today#today im tired#i dont want to be tired anymore#vent post
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i’m so tired. been sitting on this floor for 3 hours. i just want to sleep
#i want to be home#but home isn’t safe#but it’s the safest feeling place#i don’t want to be here but i have to be
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I deserve better
And one day I'll find it..
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Meu amor.
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What is that post that's like:
"I want to go home"
"You are home."
#I want to go home harder.#I want it to go back#I want to go back.#I want to be home#I want to be how I was#I want my mom back
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0/10 dissociative experience where I desperately want to go home only to realize that’s exactly where I am
#also the nightmares where I never know where I am#makes waking up so fun /sarcasm#I want to know where I am and be happy#dissociation#actually dissociative#words#I want to be home
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#lauren rambles#I do not want to be in this office today#I want to be home#sleeping#weeping#watching demon slayer
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Having a routine disruption moment and trying not to go crazy
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i don’t want to clock in man
#i want to be home#and in bed#i’m so tired#and something just feels wrong#euugh#i’m sure it’ll be OK#also 9 hour shift….#*thousand yard stare*#scout talks
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