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gyudons · 2 years ago

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despicable

updates as of 22 oct

Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.

“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.

“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”

“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.

“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”

As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.

“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.

“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.

“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”

It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.

“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.

“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.

“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”

#nhl #pride #lgbt #gay #queer #hockey

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felassan · 5 months ago

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Sylvia Feketekuty: "To celebrate DA day, I've made a bluesky account that I'll keep active for a few days to talk about my work on Inqusition or Veilguard! After a few days I'll lock the account, because I'm not a social media person. Happy to talk until then though. I want to say straight off: the reception to Emmrich, Manfred, the Mourn Watch, and the Grand Necropolis has been heartwarming for all of us who worked on those people and places. Thank you all very much!" [source, two]

Rest of post under cut due to length and spoilers. [Post Two, Post Three]

Sylvia Feketekuty: "In the meantime, I do want to talk about a couple of things I saw floating around regarding Emmrich: 1. Emmrich being 52 or 50. I think people got 50 from data mining a character file, but we can't do a ranges in those files. As in, I couldn't input 50-60, it had to be a whole number. I put down 50 as an early ballpark, then went more accurate in later audition scripts. 2. Fifty-two is a old number I threw into an early document before his art or character was totally final. (And which caused another developer a headache because they thought it was accurate, I never updated it. Sorry about that.) 3. "Wait, how old is Emmrich then?" Once I saw his final character art, I felt more mid to late 50s. MAYBE early 60s. But unless we specifically state a character's age in the game, it's all malleable. I honestly would just adjust it to your impressions unless stated otherwise. 4. I've also seen comments on how weird it is for Emmrich to act like there's an age-gap in the romance if your Rook is around his age. And you're right. 5. The reason is because Rook WAS younger when those scenes were written and worked on. I felt it'd be odd if I never addressed the May-December aspect, especially as it hooks into some of Emmrich's worries. 6. By the time that shifted, it was really too late to change without catastrophic repercussions to the excellent cinematics and music and other things that depend on line delivery and timing. 7. To be clear: you can feel how you want about the age gap coming up at all! But that's how the discrepancy came about. 8. "Is there a way to reconcile Emmrich acting like my Rook is way younger than him if they're not?" Great question! I have several suggestions: -Accept it's an error. (True, but unexciting) -Emmrich considers a gap of 3-5 years scandalous. (Funny, albeit a bit cartoonish.) -The Mourn Watch has perfected swapping out organs, and Emmrich is nervously hiding that he's way older than he looks out of vanity. (Untrue, but funny.)" [source thread]

User in reply to point 6. above: "I'm personally glad it was too late to change because their argument about it is genuinely my favorite scene in the entire game! 😭💕 It's such an important moment to me" / Sylvia: "Thanks! That one was one where I was all sweatily trying to balance things out, with tone, with pacing, etc. Really glad it came together for you. (Cine and the actors did heroic things there to get it feeling just so!)" [source]

More snippets:

Emmrich's favorite ice cream flavor? Rum raisin [source]

Lots of people on the dev team shared the vision of having a bunch of gothic weirdness in that pocket of Thedas [source] (Necropolis/Nevarra)

Sylvia "especially liked writing the Mourn Watch origin, it was fun to write a fellow nerd for Emmrich to chat with" [source]

Sylvia poured some personal worries and fears into writing Emmrich [source]

On Vorgoth and their nature: "I'm a little leery of saying anything, partly because I'm cowardly avoiding publicly defining anything more until/if I ever need to. And partly because I did want them to be a fresh unknown. Sorry!" [source] "I'm glad you like Vorgoth, but I'm afraid I don't have much for you that isn't in the game. I deliberately wrote them so as to leave room, if we ever revisited them, or for Vorgoth to remain mysterious, if we did not. I'm sorry if that's not a very satisfying answer!" [source] "I will say, it was fun to throw in a few lines about Vorgoth's art collection. Their passion for it is sincere and deep. (I wanted all the Watchers to have a little non-death related hobby or interest, because they can be so singularly focused.)" [source]

Dwarven Mourn Watcher is a rare origin combo for Rook so Sylvia wanted to call it out [source]

On the outcomes of Emmrich's quest: "I tried really hard to make the options equally viable, and more up to the player's interpretation or preferences of what it would mean for Emmrich in their view. It's been interesting seeing reactions to it, which hinge sometimes on various single lines pushing people one way or another!" [source]

"The Grand Necropolis is always eager and ready for a new member of the Mourn Watch to grace its ranks." [source]

User: "I loved Emmrich's view on death and what his personal quest ultimately went on to say about the nature of death itself, and how the beauty of mortality lies in its impermanence and unpredictability." / Sylvia: "I really wanted to dig into those themes, and everyone in cine and art and level design and editing and the whole team honed in exactly on the vibe. The floral stuff especially, I was so thrilled when I played through the Memorial Gardens' with the art and lighting in." [source]

User: "I experience thanatophobia and that first conversation w/ Emmrich was so affirming and helped me describe my own anxiety to others" / Sylvia: "Thanks, the thanatophobia was, as you may've guessed, a personal experience for me too. I'm glad it was something that helped a little." [source] "I suspect that phobia is way more common than people think, and part of the reason Emmrich talks about it was to express that sentiment out loud. I find it helps sometimes just to acknowledge it." [source]

What languages does Emmrich speak other than Trade? "I think he'd be familiar with Tevene, since there's surely many, many old texts about magic written in that language. Kind of like a doctor that knows latin through their work. I also named that MW alphabet "tomb-script", though I'm not sure if it has a spoken component or not since it never came up in-game. If it does, he'd be able to speak that for sure." [source, two]

User: "Playing as a Mourn Watch Rook has been an absolute delight!!!" / Sylvia: "Thank you so much, I really liked writing those branches of the dialogue. Since Emmrich's so focused on necromancy, it was fun having a Rook who could be both casual and knowledgeable about it." [source]

User: "In your opinion, what outcome do you prefer for a romanced Emmrich (lich/non lich)?" / Sylvia: "Interesting question! To be honest, I'm afraid to answer it properly in case anyone takes my answer to be a canonical one. I really wanted either path to feel equally interesting/correct for whatever you decide fits your Rook's relationship with Emmrich. (We're also in the strange waters of meta-reasoning. I GAVE Emmrich his fear of death-Sorry Emmrich!-which makes me feel a little culpable for that, even though he's entirely fictional. And that might prey on my mind when trying to decide. A very odd experience!)" [source, two]

What music genres would Emmrich be into? "Classical music is very much playing to type for Emmrich, but I feel it's also correct. He'd enjoy a nice concerto or an organ recital. Or, if he's feeling daring, a bold new Orlesian opera! But I don't think his tastes are too outré in that area. That said, I saw someone post something like "Leave Emmrich alone, let him attend the Depeche Mode concert" while listening to Depeche Mode's "Violator", for the first time, which made me laugh. (Great album. If he could get over the shock of synths, Emmrich might enjoy "Waiting for the Night".)" [source, two]

When writing Emmrich the devs wanted to try and hit the gothic romance vibe [source]

Does Emmrich mix his own fragrance/cologne? Does he ever vary it by the season? "I think Emmrich goes to some of the many perfumers that have set up shop in Nevarra City around the Necropolis, just because he trusts their judgement and expertise. I hadn't considered him varying it by season, but that's very fun! I certainly think he has more than one bottle of scent." [source]

User: "How does Lich Emmrich have sex?" / Sylvia: "I don't mind the question! But my answer's a bit boring: I generally stay at arm's length on the more explicit romance stuff, just because if it's not stated or shown in-game, I don't want to bring in a canonical answer that might affect what people imagined. My general preference for romantic scenes that get physical is to leave blank space somewhere, so players can imagine what happens next. It's not the ONLY way to do it, I think there's legitimate artistic reasons to go more explicit. But that's how I approached Emmrich (and before him Josephine.)" [source, two]

User: "The scene with the fade glow where he touches your hand haunts me in the best way" / Sylvia: "Aw thank you. Our animators and audio people made that scene way better than I could've hoped! They took such care with everything there. I want to say that little eye-peep from Rook was added in by one of them, which was the perfect touch." [source]

User on Emmrich: "i’m curious whether you think he’d prefer dogs or cats (or both, or neither)" / Sylvia: "I think he'd consider cats and dogs a little too noisy and messy for his tastes. Not like a nice, quiet plant or skeleton! (Weirdly, I actually had a scrap of banter going over this exact subject at one point. It got tightened down to the exchange with Harding about the pig he used to hug when he was a kid.)" [source, two]

Sylvia was trying to tease Nevarra with the Tevinter Nights story Down Among the Dead Men [source]. "It was really fun to tease the Necropolis, so to speak, in TN, and I'm grateful we got to actually let players through its gates at last." [source]

User: "if Rook chooses to save Manfred and keep Emmrich mortal, what would Emmrich wish to become of his body once he did pass on?" / Sylvia: "Good question. I think he'd want to remain active and useful in death. A guide for other Mourn Watchers, or posted as a mystic guide somewhere dangerous, or perhaps an oracle in the library." [source]

User: "when and how was it decided that Emmrich would be romanceable? I remember reading that he would not be a romance option." / Sylvia: "I'm not sure where that came from, because I pitched him and then shortly after that we decided the entire cast was romanceable. That was fairly early on in the development of Veilguard, as I recall it. (Could've been a crossed wire?)" [source]

Trick Weekes: "Sylvia wrote the fantastic Emmrich "the Vol-carnage" Volkarin and everything that happens in Nevarra while dealing with a lead writer whose attitudes about corpses and undead are... not dissimilar from Taash's." [source] / Sylvia: "I still remember when you gave the very accurate feedback "I think we need to give players whose Rooks aren't into corpses some roleplaying choices to express this" and I was all "Ohhh yeaaaaaah." (Thank u Trick, you were right)" [source] / Trick: "Specifically, being able to express this without locking themselves out of the content! (For non-Sylvia folks) Given my issues with corpses, Emmrich as a whole was SUPER Not For Me, so I gave one caveat and then said, "For the rest of my critique, I will be impersonating his target audience." [source]

Sylvia on the secret origins of Manfred: "After I pitched Emmrich, I started jotting down notes and thoughts on his plots, his quirks, all that kind of stuff. It was very early on Veilguard, anything was still possible. We were chatting in the writer's room about it one day, and I think we'd just seen some early concept art for Emmrich. And our lead writer Trick Weekes joked that Emmrich looked like a man who'd have a skeleton named Manfred. And I laughed and went "Yeah he does!" And then I thought about it. It's wild in retrospect, but that one comment spurred a train of thought that led to the core of Emmrich's arc. He may've ended up a very different character without it! tl;dr: I stole it from Trick." [source, two, three, four]

"I got to play with a pretty free palette when defining the way Emmrich and the necromancers view death and spirits. But I tried to keep it within the confines of existing lore. That's one reason why that scene where Emmrich talks about Manfred to Harding goes into "the eternal question" of whether a soul actually returns with the dead or not. Nevarra has distinct beliefs, but I thought it'd be interesting if its people argue over their interpretations of those beliefs." [source, two]

"the other writers also suggested a bit later on that the big choice dig more into Emmrich's philosophies. Initially, it was more personally focused on his fears, which made it 'relatable' but pettier. Without that correction, I think it would've been weaker, I totally needed the team push." [source]

"I have a few guides to graveyard symbology, and it's so packed with references and meaning." [source]

User: "Did any of your own fears & experiences, make it into the writing of Emmrich? If yes, is it information you’re comfortable sharing with us? If it’s too personal to give any details, that’s fine as well. Also, across the other games, who do you think Emmrich will get along with best?" / Sylvia: "some of his fears are absolutely personal. The reflexive-compulsive panic over death is something I'm very familiar with, and I wanted to explore that through him. Because I suspected it was not uncommon, and worth examining. The question of who he'd get along with from the other games is surprisingly tough! Because without asking the other writers about their characters, I wouldn't know for sure. So I can only really speak to Josephine with surety. That said: -I think Josephine would be polite, and grow to like him, but would never entirely be over the ostentatious necromancy. -I think Emmrich meeting Sera would be the funniest match." [source, two, three]

"Peter Cushing was also one of my go-tos as an example of what I wanted Emmrich to be." [source]

"(Huge shout out to all the animators and level designers making Manfred run, quite literally. Like 95% of his personality lives in his movement, I think they nailed it.)" [source]

On Emmrich: "I tried to put a lot of passion and sincerity in his love for the dead, and I admit the Necropolis was THE big place I wanted to see in Thedas myself ever since reading about it in a codex." [source]

User: "Thank you for letting him have that cemetery dream date!" / Sylvia: "Having the date in the cemetery was one of the first things I wanted when thinking about the romance." [source]

"Josephine was the first time I was entrusted with a new character and a new romance at once, and that'll always be special to me." [source]

User: "How much input did you have in Emmrich's appearance in the podcast?" / Sylvia: "In the podcast, none myself. I believe it was handled by a third party but reviewed by a few people at BW, I don't know too much past that. (We did provide a descriptor and character rules. Stuff like "Emmrich never swears" and "always says amongst" and broader, more thematically useful things.)" [source]

User on Emmrich: "Are you planning any other external-media stories for him?" / Sylvia: "Thanks very much, The Flame Eternal has a special place in my heart for being the first time Emmrich got to be center stage in a story. (And very flattering to hear about the cross stitch. That's so cool!) I can't speak to any external-media plans, I'm afraid. That's not an implied hint about anything existing or not, it's just literally outside what I'm allowed to chat about. It'd be fun to do something like that again though!" [source, two]

"I must give full credit to Nick Borraine, Emmrich's voice actor. He got the compassion and tenderness the character needed right away." [source]

"And glad him being closer to your age resonated, I really wanted someone older out on an adventure. No reason that has to stop at any age IMO." [source]

User: "do the mourn watcher/nevarra in general raise their pets after they die to keep them around? like a dog skeleton with a whisp in it?" / Sylvia: "To be honest I hadn't thought out this one, but it's a very good question. I'm not sure how common that would be, or even if it's permitted to have pets running around the family crypt. (I definitely thing people would WANT to do it.) You know, I think I'm going to have to leave this one in the vague quantum foam of the future. I think I'd want to not only double check existing lore, but answer that in-game (or in a book or etc.) if we ever need to. (Hope that's not too much of a cop out. Sometimes I like to leave questions I'm not sure about alone, because until it's in an official game or story, it doesn't quite count.)" [source, two, three]

User: "as someone who shares emmrich's anxiety about mortality, getting to spend time with him, and in the grand necropolis and with the mourn watch, was genuinely soothing" / Sylvia: "Thank you, I'm glad he was a comfort. It's a familiar fear for me too, and I'd hoped he would connect that way with people very much." [source]

On the giant ribcage 'ceiling' in the Necropolis: "sadly, even I don't know all the mysteries of the Necropolis. (Which is to say it's a very cool bit of art but has no stated origin yet. Could be a large dragon, a giant...or something weirder!)" [source]

On TN story Luck in the Gardens: "It was nice change up, writing in first person and with someone so rascally. I've got an enduring affection for the Lords after writing Hollix, the scamp." [source]

User: "I just love his genuine enthusiasm for everything he does. If the other party members had fan clubs Emmrich would be the president of each and I love that for him" / Sylvia: "Thank you! I really wanted him to embody a kind of expansiveness and generosity of spirit, to stand in contrast to the eeriness of his abilities." [source]

User: "What was your inspiration for Josie?" / Sylvia: "My girl! When I came on to Inquisition, there'd already been work done on setting up the spine of the main plot, and figuring out the overall cast. But one of the advisors was a little murkier. It just said "Diplomat" on the white board. We knew we wanted someone in that position, but not who. So in a game where you were out exploring, killing demons, etc., but also had a big organization to run? I immediately wanted to make a Diplomat firmly there for you. Somebody you could hand the keys to the entire Inquisition to while you were out, and know it'd be in good hands. I also thought it'd be fun to have someone from Antiva, since that area wasn't covered yet by anyone in the cast. And I needed her to be polished, smooth, but heartfelt, because of that aforementioned trust. And that was the core of Josephine! Her voice actor, Allegra, brought her to life with such lovely charm, and hearing those early sessions also helped me further hone her tone." [source, two, three, four]

"Our music supervisor Ron Dazo hit it out of the park with Emmrich's music IMO. And so glad you liked Hezenkoss! Just very fun to write as a character." [source]

User: "Did any specific watcher raise MW Rook?" / Sylvia: "Good question! I kind of left that one alone because I wasn't sure if I wanted to let Rook define that themselves, or leave it open, and also I'd have wanted a full conversation on it. In the end that was a little out of scope so I left it unsaid. Which is to say that it COULD be Vorgoth who helped raise your Rook. And that stands until/unless we give a definitive answer (or let you choose from a range of answers) one day." [source, two]

"It was such a pleasure for all of us to finally get to explore the Necropolis, I am very glad we got to throw open the gates." [source]

User: "I was wondering if there were any Mourn Watch details you wished you had more time to explore? I was so struck by some of the ethical implications in your stories" / Sylvia: "Geeze, now that's a question. I mention it with Emmrich, but there's some resentment over the power the Watchers hold as THE mortalitasi of the Grand Necropolis, between them and the other orders. There's something to that situation I liked. There's also questions of how they select people for the order. What their standards are, how closely they work with benign spirits. And how they cultivate those relationships. How deep does that go? I also mentioned in a codex "the lives and bodies of those who tamper with the undead of the Necropolis are forfeit unto the Mourn Watch." which is pretty chilling. What's that punishment like, exactly? And in general, writing about anything weird or unexplained in the Necropolis brought me much enjoyment, and it would be fun to dig around how the Mourn Watch deals with (or what they want out of) all these mysteries and entities." [source, two, three, four]

"Geeking out with Emmrich about spooky stuff was a delight to write." [source]

"I liked writing someone older this time, it was something different for me and rewarding in some unexpectedly different ways. (And thanks especially for the nice words on DAtDM - I was very excited to introduce people to the Mourn Watch there!)" [source]

"Ah, tomb-script. I named it but it was our concept artists who went developed it with the hexagon shape-language of the Mourn Watch, which I loved. Conceptually: I think it's used purely an occult or sacred language. Something for the graves, or books on magic, but not everyday things." [source]

"Some trans people kindly offered their help with some feedback on some of the romance lines and others, which absolutely made them much better." [source]

"Trick Weekes actually wrote a ton of the banter where Emmrich inquires into qunari artifacts and customs, and Taash talks about what it was like to grow up under a scholar. I really dig the dynamic they unearthed between the two there." [source]

User: "Do you remember what was written in the script to describe ✨this✨ moment? [link]" // Sylvia: "Lol. I miiiiiight? Let me look at my notes. Ah hah, I do! My note says that Emmrich "takes a second, surprised." And then he's touched afterwards." [source, two]

Sylvia: ""i hope it's not too late, but were there any designs in mind for what Nevarra City looks like?" Not too late! We've got a few sketches in the World of Thedas books, but that's it. If the team ever went back to Nevarra City proper, I'd imagine the art team would want to do a deeper dive." [source]

Sylvia: "(Glad you liked Myrna in particular. My first Mourn Watcher everyone got to know!)" [source]

Sylvia: "I'm glad to hear getting to know Emmrich has been of some comfort." [source]

#dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age the veilguard spoilers #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #dragon age: tevinter nights #dragon age: vows & vengeance #lgbtq+

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 years ago

Note

I am not the asshole, and I think this whole thing is stupid, but I was promised that if I sent my side of things to this blog I could pick the hotel for our honeymoon, and I am marrying a man who once tried to take me BACKPACKING of all things, so this ask has become a necessity. In light of that:

AITA (I'm NOT) for planning the seating for our wedding in a logical way?

I got engaged in June, apparently in part because of my partner writing in to this blog (I don't know how to find or link to his posts, but I'm the man who got the cat to bite him, if that rings any bells?). At any rate, for the past ten weeks, I've been in the beginning stages of planning our wedding with my fiance, whom I have been secretly attempting to remove from the planning process as much as possible. I have ALREADY been given a list of his must-haves, and I AM incorporating as many of them as our budget allows. This has NOTHING to do with the emotional side of the event, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that this is an idiot with no real planning experience or taste who thinks he knows more than me.

For the most part, this has worked very well. I'm the one who's been collating all the contact information for things, so I just replaced all the emails for the tacky companies with false addresses, responded to his inquiries as the companies to say the date was already booked or the price was outside our budget, and let him filter his way to the ones I DO like on his own. I also made a fuss about being "willing to compromise" on the few things he's picked I'm completely fine with in the hopes I can use it to make him compromise later, and have been humming portions of the songs I want on the playlist in the hopes he'll think he came up with the idea to include them himself.

None of this is the real problem. The PROBLEM is that he is deliberately ruining my seating chart, by moving our horrible friend's seat when I'm not looking.

The man in question dated both of us at one point in our VERY early 20s (both ended BADLY), is generally the messiest person we know, and will almost certainly get sloppy drunk and try to make a speech IF he does make an appearance. I'm banking on the fact that he won't, because he's also ridiculously wealthy, and will almost certainly send us some very lavish gift in lieu of coming.

He is SUPPOSED to be sitting beside my fiances aunt, at the same table as his grandmother, his work friend, and her girlfriend, because all four of these women are stone cold terrors who I believe are more than capable of keeping him in line on the slim chance he does come. My fiance INSISTS they won't be able to have any fun if they're running interference all night, and keeps moving him to sit at the head table instead. You know, where WE are. I finally caught him switching the label magnets on my planning board last night, and confronted him.

I tried leveraging how much I've been compromising already, that he's almost certainly going to RSVP no, and that I shouldn't have to deal with him on our big night. My fiance said he knew about all the fake emailing and such, and told me, and I QUOTE: "Look, the mind game shit was hot when it was just about the colour scheme or whatever, but I actually care about this. So you can suffer with everybody else, or you can do the normal thing and not invite a guy you hate to our wedding, you weirdo."

I said that if I did that, it would take out half his groomsmen, he called me an asshole and said I should go explain this to "literally any rational adult" so they could tell me I was in the wrong, and now here we are.

Would you recommend calling my fiance's bluff, since he doesn't want the man sitting near us either? Or should I focus on ensuring he'll turn down the invitation no matter what, so the matter of where he WON'T be sitting can be a moot point?

What are these acronyms?

Original post

The update

#aita #am i the asshole #the saga of proposal anon

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acutecoral · 1 year ago

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Transcript for Quackity's recent stream

twitch

[Quackity start talking around 1:03 in, but before he speaks you can hear him breathe and sniffle a little]

Quackity: Hello everyone, uh…uh, I'm just waiting for enough people to get here. This is a very important stream. So I'm just going to wait a little bit.

Quackity: Um…[sharp intake of breath] Hello! I hope everyone is having a good night. I'm doing an urgent stream. Only to keep everyone updated on everything that's happening.

Quackity: I wanna apologise for this scuffed stream. I'm not on any of my set-ups right now, I wasn't expecting to stream right now so I don't even have a camera. But I wanna to let everyone know, that I've been out and I'm catching up on a lot of matters right now…

Quackity: Including a statement, that was just now, made without my approval.

Quackity: I've been notified, about an ongoing situation regarding Quackity Studios and I want to address it. Please bear with me as I'm barely catching up on a lot of these matters.

[He sniffles again]

Quackity: One gathering is that volunteers for Quackity Studios: are not being paid and are being given too many hours of activities.

Quackity: I wanna let everyone know that I was aware of a voluntary position, and I was under the assumption that there was a process volunteers would go through, to integrate themselves to the team with a fully paying job. What I was not aware of, is to what extent and conditions were being required from the volunteers.

Quackity: And I wanna thank everyone who brought this to my attention, because it is very clear to me that I need a much deeper involvement in the administrative part of my team. Something I have not been very involved with recently.

Quackity: I'm gonna perform a deep investigation, personally, on this matter as to see exactly what's happening. But one thing is very clear to me.

Quackity: There are going to be very drastic changes in QSMP moving forward. From the administrative perspective, and from the creative perspective as well.

Quackity: My responsibility relies on knowing what is happening in the project I am running. And for not being more involved? I want to deeply apologise. This should have never happened, and I am extremely disappointed.

Quackity: From here on out, I wanna make one thing clear: Everybody involved in Quackity Studios will be paid. And if at any point my own funds are not sufficient enough to pay workers or maintain the project? Then the QSMP cannot continue and it will close down. That's how committed I am to this project.

Quackity: So I wanted to make that extremely, extremely clear as to where I stand on this.

[Quackity in the next line sounds choked up]

Quackity: And this…n-next topic is very difficult for me to process, and it's an extremely sensitive thing, and I was waiting for the correct time for me but…that can wait, no longer. And I need to let everyone know that Wilbur is no longer a part of the QSMP.

Quackity: Lastly, I wanna thank everyone for their patience. This…year…has been very turbulent…for me. And I'm going to be very open; it's been one of the saddest years of my life.

Quackity: I'm trying to move forward and give everyone the best version of myself, and I'm very, very sorry if I've disappointed you.

Quackity: But…nonetheless, I gotta keep moving forward and I'm gonna keep working hard and I'm going to do what's right. And I wanna make this very clear.

Quackity: So thank you everyone. And um, yeah, I hope everyone has a good night. Thank you.

#qsmp #qsmp posts #quackity #qsmp transcriptions #our hearts go out to him #we hope things shift to a better direction

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mangocheesecakes · 1 year ago

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the scammer @/rescueplease has now been deleted, but since a lot of people are still reblogging my posts about it, i'm changing my pinned post to a list of currently active scam accounts

scammers with the same m.o., sometimes similar profile pics and linktrees/paypal addresses:

> numberonegoateeeagle (paypal name 'Jeff Owino') new

> nour-samr (paypal name 'Nour Samar') >> nour-samr0 new/remake

scammer pretending to be a sick Black person, using the paypal name, 'Alafred Opondo'

> enchantingqueencreator

the 'insulin scammer''s latest blog (at least i think it's their latest blog:

> fancycoffeepeanut

empty blogs who are mass-reblogging the scam posts and are likely just the scammers sock puppet accounts used to pad the notes of their posts, pls block them too:

> chopra-79

> futuristicphilosopherartisan new

deleted/deactivated/changed url:

maina-3

immariaanszz >> iammarinassaa >> iammarinassaass

jovialsuitdonutai (paypal name 'jeff owino')

khalilhan (paypal name 'samuel obiya') >> khaliilhan

marylinfwaznassar (paypal name 'maryline lucy')

stickytreephilosopher (paypal name 'jeff owino')

perfectlyminiatureface (paypal name 'jeff owino')

optimisticalpacalady (paypal 'jeff owino')

omarkhalini (paypal 'fred odhiambo')

marylinefwaznassar (paypal 'maryline lucy')

khalilhani (paypal 'samuel obiya')

weepingpersondestiny (paypal 'jeff owino')

as always, please block and report these blogs, and more importantly, warn your friends, mutuals, and followers if you see them reblogging their scam posts. if you see a donation post/blog that you believe may be a scam, please do look their url up first on the tumblr search bar to see if someone has already called them out. i will try to update this post with the scammers' new accounts/url as we discover them. please also go to @kyra45's blog, as they are faster and more thorough in updating about newly discovered scams.

some red flags to look out for before sharing donation posts/donating:

new blog, or a couple years old but has only a few random, sporadic posts

backdated posts

spamming asks to a lot of other users, even the ones they don't know or have just followed, and even when the user has made it clear they don't want to receive requests to boost dono posts

is asking you to answer their asks privately, or is sending you a message directly

is straight up asking you for money, and usually for impossibly large amounts

do not put their paypal/money transfer links on their post itself, usually claiming it's to protect their 'privacy'

is using Zelle for their money transfer account, especially if the person is claiming to be in Palestine

please don't be so quick to entertain donation requests and to give away your money, especially if the user ticks a lot of these boxes. if you are familiar with the place they say they are from or the language they are supposed to speak, try conversing with them for a bit to see if their claims would hold. you can also browse my 'donation scam' tag or kyra45's blog to compare if the user has any similarities with past scammers that we've discovered.

that's it po. let's all try our best to look out for each other and make sure that our resources are going to the actual people in need, especially in the case of Palestinians asking for help. the last thing they need right now is for shitty lowlifes to use their suffering to make a profit.

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ahmadalturk · 8 months ago

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🚨 Urgent Clarification Regarding Our Fundraising Campaign 🚨

⚠️ Please take a moment—this post is important and urgent. Do not ignore it.

youtube

To all our incredible supporters,

I’m writing to urgently address some confusion surrounding our new fundraising campaign. I want to be absolutely clear—this campaign is 100% legitimate. There have been concerns that this new campaign is a scam, despite us explaining everything in detail before the previous one was closed.

🔹 Why did we start a new campaign? We’ve already explained the reason in this video and this vedio and provided a detailed update on the original campaign here. Please take a moment to check both if you haven't already.

🔹 We are the same people, the same family Our situation hasn’t changed—we are still here in Gaza, and we still need your generous support. Every donation you made before made a difference, and we need your help again.

✅ And this is the testimony of one of the specialists, where I communicated with them personally: @funds4gaza @dlxxv-vetted-donations

✅ In addition to Nabulsi and the guy Hussein al-Din they have already documented my campaign: @nabulsi @el-shab-hussein

💡 How can you help? Please support the new campaign just as you did the previous one. Your kindness and generosity have carried us through tough times, and we are asking for that support again. Every contribution, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to safety and security.

🖼️ Update from the original campaign Here is a screenshot of the update we posted on the old campaign to clarify our situation:

🙏 Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Please, donate to the new campaign and help spread the word.

Make sure to fill in the following:

[Link to the old campaign]

[Link to the new campaign]

[Link to the explanatory video] and here

Image of the update from the old campaign.

This layout provides clear places for each resource!

Please share this message widely so that everyone who cares and those who support the cause can stay informed about the campaign and its progress.🙏🏻

@nabulsi @palipunk @sar-soor @neptunerings @plomegranate @vakarians-babe @mesetacadre

@hack-saw2004 @neechees @spacebeyonce

@shattered-glasswork

@magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @malcriada

@heritageposts @feluka @appsa @meshitsukai @acepumpkinpatrick @captions-blog @dykesbat

@the-bastard-king @neptuneringzz

@apollos-celticswan @el-shabazzgifted

@brutaliakhoa @turtletoria @timetravellingkitty

@schoolhater @brokenbackmountain @dykesbat

@northgazaupdates2

@queerstudiesnatural @palestine-info-uncensored

@kordeliiius @kotoshino @busysleeping

@freepeople @futomimi @ibtisam @longlivepalestina

@palestine-info-uncensored @fallahi

@vakarian-shepard @plomegranate @stil-macher

@gaza-evacuation-funds

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neocatharsis · 5 days ago

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250508 DOYOUNG Weverse Update

"Hello, everyone. How have you all been?

It’s been a while since I’ve written something this serious, so I started off with a rather stiff/formal greeting. hh

I’ve been debating whether the words I’m about to share are ones I should hold back, but after much thought and consideration, I realised I couldn’t stay silent, thinking of Czennies who might feel endlessly frustrated and upset if we didn’t address this.

I’m aware that various frustrations and disappointments have emerged in Czennies’ hearts recently.

What I say may not perfectly resolve all of your feelings, and I worry it might even deepen some of the disappointment. Still, after much deliberation, I hope you’ll take the time to read this message carefully.

I know many of you are feeling upset about the plans for 127 going forward. While it might sound like an excuse, we’ve been thinking about how we can navigate this period, even with the absence of some members, while still shaping 127 well.

Regarding the encore concert, which I believe is one of the things that has upset many the most, I wasn’t directly involved in the actual operations, but I do know that both the company and the members were eager to make it happen. We all put in our best efforts to make it possible.

Unfortunately, the situation ultimately didn’t allow it to happen, and while the result is disappointing, I feel it’s important not to overlook the efforts and thoughts that went into the process.

I’m not just saying, “Please acknowledge the efforts we made because we wanted to do it.” Instead, I want to emphasise that I don’t think we should avoid sensitive topics just because they are difficult. These are issues we hold dear, and I believe it’s important to have honest conversations about them with Czennies, who have shared their hearts with us for so long.

Not everything goes as desired, nor is it entirely out of reach. I think it’s time for us to embrace this new chapter by continuing to converse and share openly, building it together.

Also, one thing I want to state firmly is that none of the 127 members prioritises themselves over the team.

Everyone cherishes and loves the team deeply, so no one puts their personal desires ahead of what’s best for 127.

Over the past ten years, we’ve received so much as NCT 127, and we’ve been given so much love by Czennies. Knowing this, we understand we can’t act otherwise.

We’re thinking deeply about 127’s future this year and beyond. We’ll work hard to plan it well. Please believe in us.

Just as how 127 has held in there with the six members and Czennies while Taeyong hyung and Jaehyun are temporarily away, we’ll continue to be unwavering even if I or anyone else has to step away momentarily. I know you’re worried, but please believe in us.

Lastly, I hope you know that the biggest reason I’m writing this message is because of Czennies. When the company makes mistakes or causes disappointment, or when there are things 127 needs to correct and reflect on, we deserve the feedback and criticism, and we’ll have to fix them.

But thinking about Czennies being frustrated and heartbroken without any resolution is what makes me the saddest and most upset. I wrote this hoping it might ease your hearts even a little.

This has been a long message, but lastly, truly, I want to promise that 127 will strive to be a team that Czennies can trust, for as long as you support and love us, and even for the times you once loved us.

Thank you for reading.”

Translated by NCTDAOYlNG

#nct #nct 127 #doyoung

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whoredyceps · 3 months ago

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whoredyceps's masterlist

♡ a complete list of my work that stays updated ♡

all 18+ content marked with .ᐟ

⤷ Joel Miller

➯ "oh lover boy!" - a secret admirer

▸ summary: you are new to the neighborhood, and you've become friends with your neighbors— a spunky little girl and her reserved father. before long, you notice mr. miller has taken to you more than you realize. when a letter with no address ends up in your mail box, you get down to the bottom of it.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "i can't stand you."

▸ summary: joel made the mistake of telling you he was having trouble with his generator, and you offered to help.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "you're so full of shit." .ᐟ

▸ summary: when you confess something you've always wanted to joel, he decides to indulge.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "stop distracting me."

▸ summary: you try to work from home with a cold, but joel isn't having any of it.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - possessive

▸ summary: you and joel spend a friday night at the bar, which ends up with bloody hands and a hospital visit.

➯ penitence

▸ summary: joel isn't used to being woken up at odd hours of the night. tonight is no different, but when you're on the other side of the door at 2am in a bridesmaid's dress and tears in your eyes, the hour of the night doesn't matter. how does one comfort a crying ex?

⤷ Javier Peña

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "it's okay, i couldn't sleep anyways."

▸ summary: you're having a bad day. only one person can make you feel better, but he's in another country. you take a chance and give him a ring.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "just stay near me. please."

▸ summary: the casino's all fun and games for you, but for javier, it's a harsh reminder that lady luck isn't always on his side.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "i love you."

▸ summary: when the party's over, who do you call for a ride home? your good old fashioned lover boy.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - and they were roommates!

▸ summary: late night, come home. work sucks, i know. you and your roommate, javier, face the end of the day together.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - in the middle of the night

▸ summary: it's a night of mistakes from the amount of shots you do to the dialing the only number you can remember. will your ex-situationship save you, or are you destined to stumble your way home?

⤷ Oberyn Martell

➯ "oh lover boy!" - the morning after .ᐟ

▸ summary: everyone talks about their night in oberyn's bed, but they seem to leave out what happens the morning after.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - leather and lace .ᐟ

▸ summary: the sound of wedding bells are in the air! not for you and oberyn, but your sister. it's time to face the music— a place you abandoned without hesitation long ago, as you travel home for a wedding you promised to attend.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - anniversary .ᐟ

▸ summary: it's been five years since you first found yourself in the prince of dorne's bedchamber. you have something special planned for oberyn, and he's more than happy to celebrate the best way he knows how.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "we could get caught-!" .ᐟ

▸ summary: there's nothing you despise more than feasts held in the king's landing. rubbing elbows, the scrutinizing stares of those around you, everything about it. good thing oberyn's good at getting your mind off of it.

⤷ Din Djarin

➯ "oh lover boy!" - fuzzy pink handcuffs .ᐟ

▸ summary: the mandalorian is on another bounty mission. he expects to find who he's looking for, not himself cuffed in your bed.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "for you, i would."

▸ summary: your time had run out, and the bounty hunter has come to collect his target. is he ready to face the music?

➯ "oh lover boy!" - a forgotten date .ᐟ

▸ summary: the bounty hunter is good on his word— on his own terms. you try to stop holding out hope, but that's easier said than done.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "are you sure you want to do this?"

▸ summary: the mandalorian sought refuge with you, and now it was your turn to seek refuge in him.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "i missed you."

▸ summary: home is where the heart is, and the space cowboy returns to you after a long bounty.

➯ cataclysmal

▸ summary: you've tried everything to get a coworker to stop asking you out. not even human resources can help you. your only hope is din, who offers to play the role of an less-than-savory ex-boyfriend to get the guy off your back. will the punk tactics work?

➯ whelve

▸ summary: it's friday night, and you just want to let loose and forget about the feelings you've started to develop for your neighbor. when your friends suggest you all drop by the bar that said neighbor works at, you know you're in for a bizarre night.

⤷ Frankie Morales

➯ "oh lover boy!" - love at first sight

▸ summary: a special delivery for the catfish, in the form of heart cookies— and a baby's nap interrupted.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - puppy love

▸ summary: an easy sunday morning with two lovesick fools

➯ "oh lover boy!" - honeymooners

▸ summary: as you enjoy your tropical getaway with your new husband, you reflect on how you got there.

⤷ Marcus Acacius

➯ "oh lover boy!" - a bouquet of flowers

▸ summary: general marcus acacius returned from war donned in laurels and accolades, as he did every time he conquered another land. instead of celebrating with his men and the people of Rome, he chose to spend his time with the one he had been courting for some time now.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - good night

▸ summary: it's late, and you can't remember the last time marcus had come to bed. will one last plea work?

➯ "oh lover boy!" - love letters

▸ summary: you feel yourself going stir crazy while the general is amidst a conquest in the name of rome. when the bounties of his success are returned, you receive your own reward.

⤷ Agent Whiskey

➯ "oh lover boy!" - a blind date

▸ summary: your best friend told you to show up in your best dive bar attire on a friday night, only for her to bail. by luck— or something else— you find a handsome cowboy looking for some company.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - old wounds

▸ summary: first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes jack daniels unsure if the two of you are making the right choice.

➯ "oh lover boy!" - "i'm too sober for this."

▸ summary: the world hates to see a well-versed woman, but not jack daniels. you explain your thesis to him, but he quickly realizes he didn't go into academia for a reason...

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rosekeu · 2 months ago

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soft like a bunny : r. sukuna

this is part 5!

a/n: highschool au, fem!reader, reader has braces, shy+nerdy+sensitive reader! [if you don't like that then leave ig lol] soft spot for reader ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ gosh i finally updated thisss hip hip HURRAY!!!

sypnosis: you get an unexpected warning from someone about your recent relations to sukuna.

[ part 1 ] [part 2] [ part 3 ] [ part 4 ] [ part 6 coming soon! ]

the next day at school was surprisingly quiet. all your classes ran as normal, maybe all of your bullies were intimidating now that you were associated with a delinquent like sukuna. you didn't think about it much, it didn't matter, did it?

as you entered your chemistry class you sat in your usual spot but you missed sukuna’s pestering. you can't deny it was annoying but it was the good kind of annoying that made you want more of it when he wasnt near.

so there you were, exhaling dramatically, your chin placed on the palm of your hand. as you think about what sukuna must be doing at his house.

and then you remembered.

he had invited you over. to his house.

you mentally facepalmed at the memory. how could you forget that? he’d casually mentioned it yesterday through text. a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you thought about it. you'd need to remind him to send you his address later. you weren’t sure what to expect, but you felt a flutter of excitement in your chest.

you were snapped out of your thoughts when a voice cut through your musings.

“hey.”

you blinked and turned to find naoya zenin sitting next to you. your stomach immediately dropped.

of all people... naoya zenin?

he was the twins’ rude, misogynistic cousin. he’d barely acknowledged your existence ever.

even when you went over to maki and mai’s house for family gatherings, so why was he sitting next to you now?

naoya flashed a grin, clearly seeing your surprise, and before you could react, he leaned in closer. “don’t look so startled. i’m just here to talk. you’re... kinda cute, actually.”

you instinctively shrank back, cheeks flushing slightly as you awkwardly tugged at your sleeve, trying to avoid eye contact. “u-um... i-i don’t think we have anything to talk about…”

“yeah we do.” he teased, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. looking into your eyes with a fake warmth. “you and sukuna, huh? what’s that about?”

you furrowed your brows, confused. naoya wasn't a person who talked to just anyone, that was clear. he always acted as if he was above everyone else, and you figured that was one of the reasons why he avoided you at all cost.

social suicide.

you weren't popular— but you weren't hated, per say. you were just bullied…that's not that bad right?

“we’re lab partners—”

before you can say another word he puts his hand over your own mouth. “ah– don't lie. what was that shitshow yesterday? when he beat up those bullies?”

he paused, raising a brow as his eyes skimmed your figure. what did sukuna see in you?

“for you? a little pipsqueak who can’t even stand up for herself? interesting," naoya's voice had a teasing, almost mocking edge to it now. his eyes narrowed as he leaned in even closer, his hand still hovering near your mouth.

you felt your breath catch, your nerves tightening. naoya’s presence was suffocating, and his words stung. your face flushed, both with embarrassment and the uncomfortable weight of his gaze on you. why was he doing this? it wasn’t like he ever cared about you before—why now?

"uh, excuse me, but i really don't think this is your business," you muttered, your voice softer than you intended but still firm. you pushed his hand away from your face, feeling your heart race. you didn’t know where this sudden surge of confidence was coming from, but you remembered the promise you made to yourself to stand up for yourself more.

naoya chuckled, an evident smirk plastered onto his face. "oh? getting feisty now, huh?" he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he studied you like you were some kind of puzzle he was determined to solve. "well, if you ask me, you don’t seem like the type to hang around someone like him."

“but you don't know me, naoya.” you speak truthfully. he talked as if he was your friend, but you both knew that was a lie.

naoya chuckled, as if he were entertained by your words. "you’re cute i’ll give you that," he said, leaning back again, clearly enjoying the effect he had on you. "but you better be careful. people like sukuna don’t just take an interest in anyone. and the fact that you’re hanging around with him now? well, that’s just begging for trouble."

you couldn’t help but feel a knot form in your stomach at his words. sukuna had a reputation, sure, but did it really matter what others thought? wasn’t that the point of why he was different? he didn’t care about what others thought, and that was part of what made him… well, him.

before you could respond, the bell rang, signaling the start of class. naoya stood up, shooting you one last smirk before gathering his things.

and his words keep a small space in your brain.

taglist!

@thepup356

@mahi-tamashi

(can't find the otehr taglist members lol)

#sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x you #sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen au #jjk au #jjk fanfic #rose speaks ꒰ᐢ⸝⸝•༝•⸝⸝ᐢ꒱⸒⸒#cutesy #alternate universe #highschool au #naoya zenin #naoya zenin x reader #naoya x reader

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unlimitedlust · 2 months ago

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Cleanse Me With Pleasure - Bill Skarsgard x Reader (part 1)

(The gif above does not belong to me, all credits belong to its owner/creator)

Author’s note:

Hello, dear readers, I was absent for a while and now I’m back, but this time in a different fandom.

Bill Skarsgard’s been living rent free in my mind for a long while now so it was finally time to bring something to life for you.

I had so much fun writing it, I hope you like it just as much.

It’s been months since I last wrote something so I’m feeling a bit rusty and I hope you can forgive me for that.

Masterlist

Disclaimers:

For the first time ever in this blog, this isn’t a smut (yet), but you’ll have an overdose of it in the next parts hehe. Expect my absolute worst (👀) for the next parts, as I have the filthiest plans for it 😈. Update: parts 2 and 3 have been published!

For now, expect lots of teasing and power play.

English is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes I eventually skipped while proof-reading it.

Bill Skarsgard is a real person, but nothing in this story is, it was all made up in my head.

I wrote it to Sleep Token’s “Emergence”, “Rain”, “Alkaline” and “The Apparition”, so if you’re into listening to something while reading, these are the songs I recommend you.

WC: 2.4K

I hope you enjoy your time here and if you do, please feel free to leave a comment or just like and/or reblog the story, I really appreciate it and your feedback is what gives me the fuel to keep writing :)

End of Author’s note

-0-

Your teenage-self writing fanfictions in the middle of the night could never imagine that many years later you’d be standing in the middle of a crowd, attending the premiere of a movie made from one of your books.

What once was only a hobby became your job as you made it big in the book industry, now being one of the most famous dark romance writers in the world. And the best thing about it was that no one knew who you really were.

From day 1 you adopted a pseudonym so no one knew you or your face. You were invisible, and that allowed you to quietly mingle in the sea of journalists and photographers eager to get the best shots and interviews from the cast that had just arrived.

When your last book boomed and made it to the bestsellers, your friend and movie director, William, called you immediately, begging you to allow him to turn it into a movie.Your only condition at that time was “I want to choose the cast”. Now had Bill Skarsgard walking across the red carpet, kindly addressing his fans. A couple of steps later, he was practically in front of you getting interviewed.

Everything seemed to run smoothly, until the journalist interviewing him asked a personal question that made him visibly tense and uncomfortable. Hating to see him in such a position, and being the creative quick thinker you were, you stepped in behind the camera, pretending to be his assistant.

“Excuse me, Bill, but you have to get inside right now, the movie’s about to start”

“Just this one last question, please”, the interviewer insisted. But Bill took his cue and excused himself to get inside the theater, not without sparring a quick but thankful glance at you.

Moments later you vanished from the crowd and made your way inside as well, since the movie would start soon. Watching your hard work transformed into a movie was fulfilling, and you seeing the way Bill played your favorite character so far had you gasping for air through at least half of the movie.The character you wrote was hot, but Bill was undeniably even hotter, and by the surprised reactions around you you knew the audience felt the same.

When the final scene faded to black, the theater erupted into applause. The lights flickered back on, signaling the end of the night’s screening, but the beginning of celebrations for you.

As you stepped out into the cold evening air, the sounds of the city quickly swallowed up the last traces of the film’s score.

A sleek black car was waiting, ready to whisk you away from the theater’s glowing marquee and toward the after-party on the other side of town.

The car pulled up to a building, and you could see by the blinking lights at the top, that the rooftop was already humming with energy. As you came out of the elevator, you stumbled upon a breathtaking view of the New York skyline, and the pulse of music and laughter made your skin tremble.

You held your dark trench coat tighter around your body as you made your way to a group of friends, being immediately greeted with a tequila shot.

“Look who’s finally here! Our secret star of the night!” Amanda, your best friend, exclaimed as you joined the small group, each of them with their own shots in hand waiting for you.

“Thanks for the support guys, I wouldn’t have gotten so far if I didn’t have you by my side”

Everyone downed their shots and, seconds later, you already had a glass of red wine in your hands, ready to drink away the night with your friends.The conversation flowed effortlessly, laughter blending with the loud music pulsing through the speakers. The rooftop was lively, and for a moment, you let yourself sink into the joy of the evening.

A few moments later, as Amanda was cracking one of her infamous jokes, a shift in the crowd caught your attention, a subtle energy that made you glance up. Standing in a small group next to the bar on the other side of the rooftop was Bill, his eyes scanning the crowd, before locking onto yours like a magnet.

You couldn’t help the shiver that went down your spine as he seemed to excuse himself from the group and walk towards your direction. You casually averted your gaze back to your friends, but it didn’t take long for you to feel his broad presence behind you.

“Hey”, your friends’ attention shifted to him as he approached you with a charming half-smile on his lips. “Can I steal you from your friends for a second?”

Everyone went silent and expectant for what your answer would be.

“Yeah, sure”, you smiled back and excused yourself as you followed him to a quiet corner, both of you leaning on the rooftop railing.

“I just wanted to thank you for what you did earlier tonight”

“I’m glad that worked out” You both let out a small giggle.

“I think I’ve seen you at the filming set a few times, but I haven’t got your name?”

“It’s Y/N”

“Y/N”

You felt your stomach flutter at the sound of your name coming from his lips, but you quickly pushed it away to keep your composure.

You’d seen each other before on set when you went there to help William with some advice he wanted from you, but you never imagined your presence was even noticed, let alone by Bill.

“Did you like the movie?” He asked before taking a sip from his glass.

“Oh I loved it, I think it made justice to the book despite the limitations involved in condensing it into a movie.” You took a sip of your wine, “You did an amazing job on the character by the way.”

“Thanks. When William invited me he said the author had me in mind as their first option for the role, so I got really curious. That was one of the reasons I couldn’t say no.”

You almost let out a small giggle at his comment, since he had no idea who you were. You were deeply interested in knowing more about his thoughts around it, and maybe, just maybe, around you.

“What were the other reasons?”

“So… After William called me, I got the book to have a better idea of what the character and the movie were about… I knew the genre and I knew people were talking a lot about it lately, but I didn’t expect to get so invested in the story”

You took a generous gulp of your wine, only letting your stare linger over him, and hoping to hide your blushing face t, but you got the impression that he didn’t miss the playful glint in your eyes as he spoke.

“I gotta say, I’m not a dark romance reader but that one got me on a chokehold… Not only the book, but the author as well. I’ve been obsessed with their books and the mystery around them ever since.”

“Why’s that?”

“I mean… The way it was written, it pulls you in, it makes me feel like I’m living what the characters are living, feeling what they’re feeling. The hunger, the need, even the despair…”

Bill seemed completely lost in his thoughts as he opened up to you, a stranger, about your own work and how it made him feel, and you couldn’t help but feel somewhat powerful.

“…I don’t know how they do it, but damn I’d love to know, if only I could meet them.”

At that moment, you had the perfect opportunity in your hands. You rarely revealed your identity to anyone outside of your inner circle, but then, it just felt right. Plus, you’d love to see the look on his face at the realization that all he had to do was:

“Ask away.” Your lips curved in a knowing smile as you watched him make the connection, a timid smile forming in his lips. His eyes scanned you up and down a couple of times as his whole demeanor shifted, his well defined jaw tensed and his beautiful green eyes gaining a different darker shade, filled with a lot more than just admiration and fascination.

“So…Everything, every word, every scene, came from you?” He paused, his gaze dipping slightly as he took you in, the mind beyond the words that had him hooked.

“That’s exactly why I chose you to be my character, Bill.” He left his glass on a small table next to you and took a step closer, fully interested in what you were about to say. “I had a feeling you would be the one to play him just like I envisioned him, the one that could bring up all the layers I wrote, with the intensity I aimed, and now it’s my turn to confess: you excelled at it.”

You took a final sip from your wine and also leaving your glass at the same table he’d just left his.

“There were scenes that didn’t make it to the movie, scenes I wish I had.”

“Which ones?” You tilted your head slightly, amusement in your eyes as you were now curious to know where he was coming from and where he was going.

Bill chuckled, the sound of it going straight to your core as you watched him shake his head, as if he debated whether to say it, until he finally did.

“The ones that made me wonder about the author.” Your heart skipped a beat at his words as you felt yourself getting hotter and hotter despite the cold wind.

“What about the author?” Your voice came out almost as a whisper as you leaned closer, your eyes challenging him as you fought to not let them get lost on his plump lips.

“How did she get to those scenes, whether it was from experience, whether it was just from her imagination.” You could feel your pulse quickening but you kept your composure, your eyes deeply intrigued, never leaving his intense gaze.

“And what’s your theory around it?” You licked your lips unwittingly, without missing the way his eyes followed it.

“That it came from something real, but not from experience. They were a confession disguised as fiction, because you didn’t just create those moments, you craved them”

You shuddered at his words because they were the truth. You often put into your stories what you wanted in your own life but didn’t have anyone truly able to fulfill it, so you got lost in your own characters.

Suddenly, all the lights flicker and the sound of the music gets cut off. Everything goes out, a power outage swept through the building. Instinct kicked in and you gripped Bill’s arm for reference as his other hand found your waist, steading you.

The lights coming from far below on the streets helped your eyes adjust faster to the sudden darkness, and you could finally watch him leaning closer to your ear. Your skin tingled with electricity and your mouth went dry with how turned on you were in that very moment, eager to know his next step as the darkness just seemed to have intensified the moment between the two of you.

“What an interesting timing,” he chuckled in a low, knowing tone, voice dripping in amusement as it’s vibrations made your pussy throb in need, “to think we’re in the dark, like I’ve read in one of your books, just as I was about to ask if you’ve ever imagined yourself living out one of your own scenes.”

Your stomach clenched and heat pooled deep in your core, but you didn’t falter.

You let the weight of his words set between the two of you before you brought your lips close to his ear to make sure only he would hear your next words “I’ve imagined it countless times,” you confessed, feeling the tension thicken between you as he eagerly waited for you to continue. “But I’ve never found anyone capable of turning it into reality.”

You heard him inhale at your words, and felt the way the fingers on your hips tightened their hold around you at your words. You leaned back, but still kept close to his face, locking your eyes on him.

“No one that has what it takes.”

His jaw tightened and his eyes flickered with something sharp, a fire dancing behind them. At that moment you knew you had him right where you wanted.

“You think you’ve got me figured out” Your voice had a low, teasing tone to it. “You’re asking me about my desires when you’re the one devouring every page. You read my books, memorized my words, let them crawl under your skin”

He bit his lower lip as you dragged your fingers in a feather-like touch from his abs to his chest to then rest them on his shoulder.

“You’re the one who couldn’t put the book down. Who got obsessed. Who craved.” You could hear him swallowing hard, yet you didn't stop. “So tell me, Bill,” you lean in closer, your lips only inches away from his. “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re the one who’s been laid bare?”

You licked your lips once again, smiling deviously at the way his eyes lingered on them.

“After all, you didn’t just bring my character to life, you became him.” His breathing was slow and controlled, but the hard grip on your waist told you everything you needed to know. The game was yours.

Bill inhaled deeply as the flicker of something dark and dangerous flashed in his eyes, followed by a knowing and mischievous smile.

“Careful,” he murmured, his voice nothing but a low rasp between the two of you. “Keep this up, and you might just find out exactly what I’m capable of.”

Your stomach tightened at his words, at the sheer promise laced between them. “Might? Don’t threaten me with a good time,” you challenged.

The electricity around you was almost palpable until out of nowhere, someone called his name. A voice breaking through the thick haze between both of you.You watched his jaw clench, annoyance flashing across his face, since he was clearly not ready to be interrupted. But it was too late.

Along with the interruption the lights and the music came back on, fully ruining the moment. You took the cue to take a step back, but not before letting your lips ghost against his ear one last time.

“I guess we’ll see another time, if you really have what it takes.”

#fanfic #fanfiction #smut #romance #bill skarsgård #bill skargard #bill skarsgard smut #bill skarsgard fanfiction #self insert #bill skarsgard x reader #bill skarsgard x you

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wip · 1 year ago

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Please make it possible to hide users' posts without blocking them. Like, in cases where a person hasn't done anything wrong to be blocked, but you just don't like their posts.

Answer: Hello, @deithwen!

As it turns out, we’ve received this feature request a lot over the years. Usually, it comes in as wanting the ability to “mute” other blogs on Tumblr. While we would love to build it, we’ve balked at it a bit because of its technical and product complexity. Let us explain what that means:

In terms of technical complexity, our current blocking feature is closest to how “muting” would work. Our current blocking feature may seem simple, but it’s very complex because of how big Tumblr is. Every time we fetch a list of blogs for you or anyone on Tumblr, we have to also fetch the list of who you’re blocking, and who’s blocking you, and filter out anyone with that block relationship. This mapping of who’s-blocking-who is stored in a directional way right now, so the “cost” of loading that list gets higher the more people you’re blocking and the more people who are blocking you. If you’re blocking 1,000 blogs, we have to check that list a lot. If you’re being blocked by 1,000 blogs, that’s another big list to check against.

In technical terms, this is a “many-to-many” relationship, which is almost always incredibly difficult to manage while not degrading the experience of using a platform like Tumblr. The more people who are blocking, the harder it is to store those lists in a way that’s easy to check, but we’re working on making it smoother. The vast majority of people don’t block many others, if at all, so it’s never been a huge problem. But the outliers who block thousands of others (or are blocked by thousands of others) can degrade performance for everyone over enough time.

Adding muting would throw on top of that yet another list of blogs to check, increasing the complexity of something that’s already pretty complex. It helps that muting would be one-directional and not bi-directional (as in, it doesn’t matter who’s muting you), but, as that list of muted blogs grows, your experience may degrade further. So we’d need to solve for that, which is definitely doable. It would just take time—and lots of it.

And, as a product, Tumblr is already pretty confusing to people trying to figure out what “blocking” means already, as well as our other filtering options. Up until fairly recently, blocking was almost entirely one-directional, the opposite way you’d expect: blocking made it so the blocked person couldn’t see you, not that you couldn’t see them. We’ve been updating blocking to work both ways instead, which is more common on social media these days. Similarly, the options to filter tags versus content cause a lot of confusion because they don’t work the same way as each other.

So if we wanted to add another filtering option to that mix, “muting” blogs, we’d need to be conscious of how all of those options work together—and are confusing in context with each other. We should really clean up that experience to be more streamlined and simple, not more complex. And I didn’t even mention the oddity of how different settings apply to your primary blog versus your sideblogs if you have more than one blog!

Taken together, it is a great idea for us to clean all of this up, improve our existing options here, and add “muting” for even more control and granularity. Sadly, however, it just isn’t high enough on our list of priorities to tackle anytime soon. We don’t want to simply tack on muting for the sake of doing it—we want to do a better job than that. I hope that makes sense!

Thanks for your question. It was an important one to address. If anything should change here, you will get news through the usual channels: here at WIP, or at @changes.

#feature #dashboard #muting #blocking #account #security #backend #your suggestions

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zoeoe-sims · 3 months ago

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Flower Arranging Mod V2.0 Testing!

Took a little longer than expected after my last post but v2 of the flower arranging mod is here! Because it's been so long since the last released version, as well as when I actually worked on the bulk of this update, I would really appreciate some people testing it out before I upload it officially.

Just FYI, this post isn't rebloggable because I don't want this testing version to be spread around too much, just in case changes need to made for the official v2.0 and it causes confusion.

More information about the update and for those who want to test it below.

Key Features:

Better flower arrangement selection menu. Instead of the insanely large pie menu, you select an arrangement from a dialogue window. You can reorder them, filter by flower, and view either all learnt arrangements or only available ones. You can even see a thumbnail of the arrangement, as well as what flowers are required and what you have already!

More effects from arrangements. Arrangements now have categories (Basic, Joy, Romance, Wedding, Funeral, Insult) and sims will react differently to them (new moodlets) depending on the type and their personality.

Scenting arrangements. If you figure out the requirements, sims can change the properties of arrangements to make them be fresher for longer, change their category, or provide life-giving/deathly effects!

Skill Journal Additions. You can track your stats, and complete two skill challenges for flower arranging perks.

Things that are not there (not that important, skip paragraph if you don't care :p):

Like I mentioned in my last post about it, in order to get this update out of WIP purgatory I had to not get caught up in too many features big or small. This includes having an autonomous version of the interaction, and some things that don't work quite as polished as I'd like. I've also had a few comments/messages on things like selling the arrangements in a business situation, and an issue with the arrangement ending up in a family inventory, as well as other random things - these are things I'd like to look into but it probably won't be for a while. I do plan on going through the MTS comments, and any messages people have sent me with issues/ideas so I can make a list and address them when I work on this mod further. If you have already messaged or commented about something, please feel free to do so again to make sure I don't miss it. Also custom dreams and self employed career - I started working on both these things and they would be so cool but that's like v3.0 so...

Info for Testers:

Because it's a big update, I recommend testers make a backup of your save just in case there's an issue, particularly with replacing an older version of the mod and even more so if you don't have nraas error trap. And make sure to delete your scriptCache!

I didn't come across any big problems, but I also didn't have a very established flower arranging situation going on. If you do, it would actually be helpful to know your experience with arrangements made pre-update and anything else that might be affected.

Finally, I don't want to spoil anything for people who want to explore the special scented arrangements feature organically which is why I didn't go into detail about it, but if you want to just be told how everything works so you can test it more directly, let me know.

Testing version of flower arranging 2.0 here (SFS)

Thank you!

#flower arranging

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holybibly · 1 year ago

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girl i really dunno how to ask but ummm i...i mean WE need more preacher/saint/priest content....oh i just thought priest yunho with some cnc and bdsm........and maybe some watersports....oh. my. god. i died. my eyes are only seeing some whips, punishment and a lot of sin. bye.

Hi, honey, how are you? I really spoiled you, didn't I? But it seems that everyone is just as crazy about hot priests/pasors,preachers, and nuns as I am. Woo was hotter than hell when he was a priest, don't you think, bunnies?

I've already mentioned that I'll be doing a sequel for each member, but I'll tell you more so you can look forward to my updates.

Below I mention religious, hierophilia and church related topics. Bunnies, please refrain from reading if such content makes you uncomfortable. You have been warned!

Beware of False Prophets Demon San x Reader

Everyone in your town has been talking about the arrival of a new priest. The parishioners have been on their knees in praise of Pastor Choi San ever since he walked through the doors of your little church. He was devout, quiet, and, for a priest, incredibly handsome. He quickly became the object of admiration and wet dreams.

And you were not left out. The way his cat-like eyes would sometimes linger on you during Mass, or the way your name would roll off his tongue when he addressed you, made you blush with shame, not only at the dirty thoughts in your head but also at the fact that your panties were getting too wet just by looking at San.

But little did you know that Pastor Choi San had much more forbidden and depraved intentions towards you than that. Not all that glitters is gold, and not everyone is a saint who wears a holy robe.

It is said that one should beware of false prophets, for good intentions lead to hell. Or maybe the demon San will disguise himself as the new pastor of your church and try to tempt you into committing a sin.

Are you callin' me a sinner? Priest Yunho x Widow Reader

It was never in your wildest dreams that you'd be a widow at such a young age. Less than three months had passed since you got married when your husband tragically died, and this became the talk of your small town.

People walked past you, looked at you with disgust, closed their doors in front of you, and pointedly ignored you as if you had committed some mortal sin, which is probably what they thought you had done. You were so young and too beautiful, and your husband... Your husband was a man much older than you. You loved him; you really did, and losing him destroyed you. Your husband left you a huge fortune to inherit, and people whispered that you killed him to get money and to take a lover. Some even said you made a pact with the devil by killing your husband in return for your unearthly beauty and money. They said that you were a sinful brat.

Your only comfort at that time was faith, and you spent all your evenings in prayer and penance. One day, your housekeeper advised you to contact the priest, Jeong Yunho, describing him as a pious, compassionate, and gentle person who always showed mercy to everyone and granted the desired forgiveness of sins to all the troubled hearts. But she neglected to mention that Yunho was also an incredibly handsome young man who was more likely to tempt you to sin than to help you atone for it.

"I will help you get rid of your sins, my child." His hoarse voice whispered in your ear as he let the dress fall from your shoulders and down your back.

"I am going to cleanse you of the sin and the impurity of this world." Yunho said as he put a blindfold over your eyes and tied your hands behind your back.

"The only way you will be able to atone for your sins is through pain, and I will help you with that, my dear." He said this, accompanying his words with a lash of his whip across your bare skin.

Say yes to Heaven Pastor Yeosang x Libertine Reader

You never wanted to have anything as much as you wanted to have Kang Yeosang. He was handsome. He looked like an angel. He was everything that you ever wanted to sink your teeth into. He was your church's pastor. And that was what drove the hell out of you.

Yeosang was a simple man—an incredibly sweet and gentle man—who always helped his parishioners find the right path and to find God in their hearts. You, however, could brag about an endless list of sins and vices that you proudly displayed, like your favourite red lipstick. If given the chance, you would paint the whole town red, but mostly you wanted to see it smeared around Pastor Yeosang's handsome cock while you deepthroated him. The two of you came from completely different worlds—a saint and a sinner—but you had always believed that opposites attract.

Every mass was a game of seduction for you, and you wondered how far you could go before the angelic halo over Yeosang's head would crack and he would fuck you senseless. Although you had doubts that he could do it, you had a feeling that he was a virgin and would probably faint at the sight of a pink, wet pussy in front of his pretty angelic face. God, the boy was so holy and inexperienced about sex.

But how wrong you were about him! There are always two sides to every coin, and you will learn from experience that there are some desires that are better left as fantasies. Or the one where Pastor Yeosang fucks you to the last inch of your life and teaches you the concept of out-of-body experiences through orgasm.

Me and the Devil Lucifer Seonghwa x Reader Nun

From the day your parents took you to church for the first time, you knew that your life would be one of devotion to God. Of course, this was not the destiny your family wanted for you, but they still supported you on your way to becoming a virgin bride.

The convent where you lived to prepare for your vows was far from home and did not have the best reputation. But the priest of your parish convinced you that it was there, and nowhere else, that you could know God. And he was right; you did know God, but it was not the God to whom you prayed every night of your life.

It all began with dreams. Dark and unholy dreams came to you more and more often. The cold hands of a stranger sliding over your skin, a hot tongue exploring your body and lips as if sin itself were branding you with kisses, all ending with the first rays of dawn. Then this strange cat appeared and would not leave your side for a minute. But what frightened you most was the disappearance of the other nuns. One after the other, they vanished without a trace, until there were only a few novices left in the convent.

The night you took your vows was dark and moonless. So were the eyes of the dark-winged angel who appeared before you. It was as if he were woven of pure sin, depravity, and rage, oozing from his skin like ichor, and the rustle of his wings was the very sound you would hear before your death. But Angel, Lucifer, Seonghwa—call him what you like—came here with one goal: to finally get his bride.

"Do you have faith that your God will be the answer to your prayers, my beautiful bride? Do you believe that he is going to save you?" Seonghwa's lips touched your cheek, and his burning breath flowed across your skin. "You belong to me. Your soul, your faith, your body—all of it belongs to me. And you will accept me as your husband, dear child. Or you will say goodbye to your life at dawn."

There will be a separate post for Mingi, Jongho and Hongjoong. I am going to leave you in suspense, my little bunnies.

There's no harm in a bit of intrigue, is there?

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toxicanonymity · 10 months ago

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hate stalker context

Note added for context: A "confessions" account has been posting anon hate for the past week or so, mostly toward writers in the pedro pascal fandom. A parasocial hater of mine discovered the account and has been going to town. I posted this after a particularly revolting analogy they used.

Obviously I am disgusted and floored that anyone would post such a deranged analogy in the interest of stirring up fandom drama. I'm very sorry to everyone who has been attacked and everyone who has witnessed all this. Others have posted about the situation as a whole, and I'm not sure what I could add. But I want you to know many of these "confessions" are from one individual who has been fixated on me (and probably others) for weeks if not months. I already had the following in my drafts:

warning: please don't read this if you're sensitive to hate or could be triggered by the trivialization of real abuse. (edit: they went on to trivialize genocide too but they'll pretend to be different people). there's also a really gross anatomical reference.

the screenshots below are all from after I blocked this person

I normally don't address things like this, but that's only because I'm trying to keep it off your dash and off my blog. This is for several reasons, including not wanting to give the hater a larger audience for their message. Normally I block/delete. But thanks to a blog dedicated to posting anon hate, some of this is already on the dash, and I thought some additional context could be illuminating.

a couple weeks ago, this person chimed in on my non-fandom post, and their comment made me uncomfortable. I checked to see if they followed me and they didn't, plus their blog tagline was antagonistic - "bs smeller from a mile away." So I was confident they weren't being earnest. I replied, taking issue with their comment and asking them to keep their thoughts to themselves rather than coming at me from a sideblog. I wrongly assumed they must have followed me from a main account since they somehow found an un-tagged, un-reblogged post without following me. But I now realize they were simply hate checking my blog.

These first ones are from their burner after I blocked the account that started it:

(Blocked the burner too)

I won't be dropping this creep's url in this post, but I had never heard of them. This week they have repeatedly changed their url, display name, and blog appearance. Their writing is recognizable and I believe they are also responsible for the unhinged asks preceding katy's departure from tumblr. They also made a rude comment on her post.

They were saying this last bit preemptively - I've never talked about stalkers here. I didn't include all their anons, just enough to show they clearly out themselves as being the same person. In other "confessions," they make repeated references to a former fandom writer they idolize (not me) who they also posted about on their blog.

This may only aggravate them. I expect them to hurl any lies and accusations they can think of toward me. They will act like they're laughing and amused, too. You may recognize their tone. I want to trust people not to automatically believe and repeat things they hear, but unfortunately my experience in this fandom leaves me pessimistic.

I can only hope people use common sense at this point.

Note - I know I'm normally really private about everything, but you're welcome to share this. Their lies are already out there anyway. Also feel free to DM me and I will tell you what you want to know.

Update: the anon-hate account referred to above has deactivated. It was named pedgeconfessions. It wasn't the first to pop up this summer and may not be the last.

#tw hate #discourse #cw discourse #tw abuse #pedro pascal fandom confessions #hate stalker #parasocial

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testingthewatersss · 1 year ago

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One day I'll get a request and keep it short, but uh, not today because this could've easily been a series. Under 4k is good for me though, so that's a win.This is my first time consciously shooting for a G/N reader in a long time so, bare with me.

Floodgates Usual Winter Solider context warnings but this is pretty tame tbh Bucky Barnes x G/N Reader Imagine 3830 words Fluff, mild angst. 18+ MDNI Requests open for a while via messages check masterpost for updated availability.

Everybody knows that Bucky is touch-starved. It's the unspoken truth that's used by everyone to excuse his irritable demeanour. It's the reason why nobody minds leaving the common rooms empty when he passes out on the couch in the middle of the day and Steve doesn't let Sam jab at him too much for how sweet he is on you.

The hope that had flourished when you'd made your relationship a little more public was quickly dying out though. When all the inhabitants noticed that Barnes was still a grouch. If anything, he was more jumpy when people got too close.

It was Bruce who suggested that the reason might be that the only person who didn't understand this blatant link between being kept isolated for the better part of a century and not tolerating mundane forms of contact might be Bucky.

After a lot of hushed discussion, Natasha was the one who decided to address it. Not being able to stand the undercurrent of gossip, but also not wanting to provoke any kind of intense reaction, she bided her time and cornered you.

"Does Barnes know he needs some skin on skin, or is he still takin' the long way round figuring it out?"

Coffee catches in your throat. You're in a Starbucks, you've just run a stupid 5k route that you hadn't wanted to and she's asking you this, now?

"Of course, he knows" You reply after a beat, "I mean, we all know, but he really knows."

She looks unsurprised, offers you a brown sugar packet and sits back on her stool.

"You know, couples-"

"Are you about to give me a sex talk?" you cut her off, humour making your lip quirk, "Please do not give me a sex talk"

"I wasn't talking about sex, we all know you're havin' plenty of that-"

You scoff at her, not bothering to ask how or why that's a topic of discussion at all.

"-I know exactly what you're talking about..." you decide to say, tone a little more serious now, "...It's delicate, Nat"

"That's why I'm talking to you" she replies, "I want to stop hearin' about it, and the only way I can get Rodgers to stop talkin' is to stop him from worryin' and the only way to do that is give him something."

You consider her words for a moment before nodding.

"He knows, I know- We all know, but it's difficult for him and I am not going to rush him into anything" You tell her, "but that doesn't mean I'm not keepin' an eye, and for what it's worth, he's gettin' better with the whole thing."

"His attitude didn't seem better this mornin'-" she counters from behind her paper cup, "He nearly Wilson put through a wall-"

"-for trying to get him to go to a couples therapist with Steve." You remind her smugly, "He told me all about it."

It's her turn to scoff then.

"Any other personal things you want to ask me?" you press, half a challenge. She grins before making her expression intensely serious-

"So, about the sex-"

You don't linger in the cafe for long, and you definitely don't run back. You call a cab, much to Romanoff's dismay. The break from the serious atmosphere of the tower has done wonders for her mood though, and by the time you make it home your arms are ladened with bags. Fast food for everyone and clothes and some new kind of tablet thing that Tony had insisted he can turn into a portable holo-deck.

Bucky is waiting in your suite.

The second you see him the conversation you'd had about his attitude seems ridiculous.

He beams up at you so wide that he gets creases by his eyes, and all he can do is chatter about everything that's happened since you left.

Steve annoyed him by out-lapping him on their run.

Wilson annoyed him, by well, breathing apparently.

He's finally figured out how to fix the dishwasher, so he doesn't have to call maintenance anymore, and he's finished packing his bag for the mission he's leaving on in the morning, and, he tells you proudly- he's made dinner.

It's some kind of soup, at least, you think it's meant to be a soup. But, whatever it is, it's good. And he's still smiling as you wash the dishes, bumping his hip against yours when you make a snarky comment about him still not using the dishwasher he's so proud of fixing.

And then he gets quiet.

You're sitting together on the couch, the same way you have been for hours, with your legs barely touching but with his warm, flesh fingers wound tightly through yours. You think about asking why he's suddenly turned mute, but then you notice the time.

"When do you leave?" You ask, stroking the back of his palm with your thumb.

"Four" he mumbles unhappily, giving your palm the lightest squeeze, "You're stayin' here, right doll? You're gonna wait for me?"

You laugh silently, pulling your legs up beside you to curl into his side.

"Don't I always?" you tease, grinning as he reaches over with his metal hand, guiding your lips to his.

"I'll be back before ten" He promises, "Steve promises"

"Oh, does he?" you murmur, lips still ghosting his, "You know he's driving Natasha crazy"

He quirks a brow, even so, close to his face you can see curiosity shining behind his eyes.

"Aparently you're a jerk because I don't give you enough skin on skin"

He rolls his eyes, laughing as your fingers find his cheek.

The second you actually touch him, though- the laughter dies. He has to focus all of his energy on not moaning at the contact.

You feel him tense and lessen the pressure, letting him move instead, pressing another kiss against your lips as he goes back to looking at you, this time, though, there's nothing but adoration behind the blue.

"you do plenty" he whispers, before moving quickly, standing and pulling you up with him, carrying you effortlessly, "I'm fine."

"I know" You hear yourself agree, although you think he'll hear the doubt in your tone, "But- if you do ever want something, you know I'm here, right?"

What Bucky wants he thinks, is totally irrelevant.

He wants to lay in your lap for hours, he wants to fall asleep and stay that way for hours because your fingers are in his hair. He wants to cry and not have to hide in a shower to do it. But you deserve better.

You deserve normal.

As normal as he can give you anyway.

Not that that's much, but he can't control that he reminds himself sternly, what he can control, however, is this.

He can keep the floodgates closed. He can do what he does best and keep it down.

He can make do with fleeting points of contact. With your hand in his, and your body in the same bed. The warmth of you is more than enough. You being there, smiling safe and lovely is more than enough.

And when he places you on the soft mattress and watches you start to tangle yourself with the covers, he's once again certain that that is all he needs.

What would I say, anyway? he thinks sadly, taking his place on the side of the bed that always seems too cold, How could I even bring that up without openin' a whole can of worms?

His cheeks burn hot with embarrassment, and as he thinks tragically about how much he wants to just reach out and feel you, his eyes start to sting.

"You doin' alright, sweetheart?" you ask, already knowing that he's not. He nods though and forces a smile you recognise.

"Tired" he mumbles unconvincingly.

Before his cheeks can get any more pink, you decide to smile back. It works to settle him. So does the way you reach out to take his hand again.

"I'll try not to wake you up" he promises quietly, "I'll see you tomorrow night"

"Tonight" You correct, looking over at the clock on his nightstand, "It's 1, you're leavin' in 3 hours, you better try and get some rest."

You don't know whether he does or not. He's gone when you wake up, reaching out for the fingers you normally fall asleep holding. He's left a note, telling you he loves you, and that he'll see you soon. And you tell FRIDAY to send him a message wishing him luck. When you don't get a reply, you decide to keep yourself busy. You order a delivery of food, which Bucky needs more than he realises, the state of his small built-in kitchen is shameful it's at best and depressing at its worst.

In all fairness, a punnet of pulmbs, some milk, 2 carrots and half a loaf of bread is far from that- but still. A stock-up isn't going to hurt anything.

And then you still haven't heard, and the tower is creepy when it's empty.

Like a school at night, you muse, walking through the walls, chattering to FRIDAY just to have some background noise.

Aside from assuring you that everyone's vital signs are fine, she can't actually do much to distract you, so in the end, you abandon her too and settle for sitting in your suite, on the bed, exactly where Bucky had left you.

You fall asleep reading and only wake up when you hear the door click open. You beam, rubbing tiredness from your eyes as you wait expectantly for him to come in and greet you.

He doesn't though. You can hear movement but it's not coming towards you, so you decide to just go to it instead.

"Hi, sweetheart-"

Your happy greeting dies as soon as you see him. Flushed with adrenaline, and tugging at his belt, which is still laden with grenades. When he finally rips it free, tossing it to the floor with such reckless abandon that you can't help but cringe, you walk towards him.

He's pulling at his vest now. Metal fingers pulling desperately at the straps that hold it in place, growing more and more frustrated as he can't quite get them loose-

"Here" you whisper, hating the look of anguish he's wearing, "Let me help"

His arm snarls as you reach out to replace his fingers with your own. But to his great surprise, you don't even flinch. You just hush out a soft breath and guide the metal palm away.

"You're fine" you promise, seeing the way he's relenting.

His brow meets the window as he leans against it, both arms falling lamely to his sides as he focuses on breathing.

On staying still and not just taking off running until his legs give way beneath him.

"You're back late" you muse, flicking a glance at the wall, where the time is being projected by what you're assuming is Tony's version of a wall clock.

11: 33

"Not too late though, huh?" you continue, knowing he likes the background noise, "Is anyone hurt?"

Bucky gives a short shake of his head.

It hurts. The movement sends daggers through his eyes. But still, he bites his tongue and tries to keep still.

He needs the vest off. He needs the layers of heavy, bulletproof padding, gone. He needs to not feel like he's dressed for battle, and he needs the ringing in his head to stop.

"Just you then" you murmur, more to yourself than to him.

"'m fine" he mutters, knowing you won't argue- especially since it's exactly what you've just told him.

You hum in quiet disagreement instead. Tugging the last of the straps free before letting the rough weighted vest fall to the ground with a dull thud that makes you wonder if you should've checked it for explosives first.

"Better?"

Your voice cuts through the pulsing in his ears, making him hyper-aware of the way he's still resting his head against the cool glass of a window of all things.

Is it better? he thinks, rolling his shoulders unhappily.

"Yeah" he murmurs, "Yeah, thank you, sugar"

And then he turns to you, wearing the fakest smile you've ever seen, and you can't help but reach out and stroke his cheek.

He flinches. He physically recoils back into the glass with a look so sad that you miss the false grin.

"They-uh" he coughs, embarrassment burning through his chest, "They shouted my words out through a speaker" he confesses, "I- I probbaly shouldn't even be here- Steve, Tony, they all, all say I'm okay, but I- I might... I, I just wanted to see you"

Your phone is already in your hand. Typing frantic questions to Natasha, to Tony and Steve and feeling your whole chest relax as replies start flooding in.

The words are deactivated, as deactived as they can be, anyway. He's not a danger, not that a different answer to that question would've changed anything, and everyone knows where he is. When he'd bolted from the Quinn-jet in irritable silence, the entire team had let him go because they knew exactly where he was going, and considering the fact that he's physically uninjured, fighting to get him to go to Med-bay would've been a waste of everyone's energy.

They still might've tried, in fact, Steve definitely would've tried, if they hadn't all been exhausted already.

When you look back up at him, your heart cracks straight down the middle.

He's just, waiting.

Eyes closed, brow on the glass,with his breath making it fog up by his face.

His back is heaving too, shining in the dim lights of the room. His back is shaking like he's crying, but his jaw is locked tight.

"What do you need, huh?" you wonder softly, not moving to touch him again, "Sweet, sweet boy- you got off that plane, and you ran- you ran all the way here, and then you stopped in here, why?"

His eyes flicker open, red and sore.

"I" he swallows, "I had to get it off"

You quirk your head, not understanding, and then you see the vest by his boots and nod.

"It hurts" he mutters to himself, "It's always hurt. I needed it off"

You know he's not talking to you, but you nod all the same, hoping that it might at the very least encourage him to keep his eyes open.

And then you realise what he's saying, and you can't keep quiet anymore.

"What hurts?" you ask softly.

His cheeks are hot again. He knows that he's embarrassed. That he should be, that it's right that he's burning with shame, but with the way his head is splintering he really doesn't care.

"The vest," he tells you quietly, "My skin, it- uh...it's always... the scars they uh... I- I needed to get it off..."

He looks at you, expecting to see a hint of something. Disgust, maybe? Or pity. What he doesn't expect, is the way you just nod again, expression understanding as you inch closer towards him.

He bites back a whimper, using all the strength he has left to not just collapse in your arms.

Keep the floodgates closed.

"Its off..." you remind him mildly, "Your home, it's off... so, what else do you need?"

Bucky blinks, sniffing to try and stop tears from forming as he stares at you.

And then, he hears you sigh, and his chest tightens so much that he can't catch a breath.

A sigh is never good. He thinks. He's done it. He's finally done it. He's done something that has made you realise he's a lost cause.

He's the lost cause.

But, when he forces himself to look back at you, wanting to memorise your face before you leave his world forever, no matter how painful it is, he sees you smiling. Leaning against the window, only inches away from him.

"I want to help" you promise softly.

A disbelieving scoff bubbles up through the tightness of his throat, and for a second, you think he looks like himself again. Even if he's a little rough around the edges.

"You did..." Bucky reminds you quietly, "I couldn't get it off, and you helped me"

The urge to roll your eyes at his gratitude is quickly tempered by the genuine affection in his tone. You settle for nodding instead.

"So what else do you need?"

This time, when your hand meets his face he shivers. Feeling something deep in his chest snap as he starts to lean back into the contact.

"C-could you..." he gulps, desperately shy now, "God, doll- could you just, touch my hair?"

"Your hair" you murmur, love drenching every word as you slowly trail your fingers up past his temple, stroking through the tangled length so gently he wants to scream.

"Please" he shudders, "don't pull-"

His frantic request chokes off incomplete, the heat in his cheeks making his jaw lock petulently.

"You don't like havin' your hair pulled?" you muse, tone light in contrast to his, "Noted."

"Does anyone?" he wonders bravely, adjusting to the slow, trailing warmth across his head.

You laugh at that, further coaxing him out of his embarrassment.

"Sure they do, Buck," you tell him conversationally, "people like all kinds of things..."

He's melting. He's sure he's physically melting into your fingers. Into the gentle tug and pull, into the wonderful, brilliant sting of human contact.

All you hear is the softest hum. It's content though, so you take it as a win.

"So since this definitely a winner..." you drawl, bringing your free hand down to his, letting him grasp your fingers in reflex, "What else do you like?"

The part of his brain that isn't purring like a cat, stuttering to a halt at your question. His eyes focus, as he blinks at you, face full of such total adoration that you feel like you should probably look away, but he's so beautiful that you can't quite manage it.

"You"

That makes you laugh, small and flattered as you shake your head.

"You've got me, Barnes." You remind him lightly, "If we could be doin' anything, anythin' in the world, right now what would we be doin?"

The smile he gives you then is the most precious one he's ever worn. Your whole body flushes with affection as he chuckles silently reaching up and pressing a kiss against the back of your hand, as you scratch your free knuckles against the back of his head.

"I have no idea" he mumbles honestly.

Your brow quirks, before you move, pivoting and opening your arms to coax him in.

He freezes, staring at you with longing as he offers a sad shake of his head-

"I can't- darlin'-" he stammers nervously, "I want to- I- I really- I-"

"You" he hears you whisper, "can do whatever you like."

He shakes his head again, stubborn this time.

"Not that" he mumbles, "Not to you"

"To me" you repeat, curious.

His lips tighten and then part, breath shallow as your thumb finds his cheek.

"I won't be able to stop" he explains, voice quiet like he's sharing a secret, "If I start, I won't ever be able to stop and you- you're-you're everythin' to me and I- I can't put that on you- because I really- I mean it- I don't-"

Your head is already shaking, your arms are moving, pulling him into your chest.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to stop" Bucky feels his words melting into your shoulder, he feels the heat of your body against his. His bare chest burning against the thin fabric of your vest. The feeling of your skin against his threatening to make his knees buckle. "I- I won't be able to stop"

You shake your head, hushing him as his resistance fades away to nothing. As he goes pliant in your arms, head falling to the crook of your neck.

"I'm sorry" he whispers, "I'm so sorry"

"You're never listen" You mumble in reply, letting his hand go so that you can hold him tight against your front, "I just told you, sweetheart..."

Bucky pulls away just enough to look at you, and when you see tears brimming in his eyes, you can't help but hush him again, noting the way his hands are wound tight into the fabric you're wearing.

His lower lip pouts, he tries to avert his gaze but it doesn't work. He just can't manage to tear his eyes away from you. From the way you're looking at him, full of affection. Full of patience and kindness and-

"Didn't I just tell you, huh?" you murmur, smiling a little again, "You've got me"

He blinks, still not understanding.

So you do the only thing you can.

You kiss him. You kiss him until he pulls back, until he dips back down into your arms, tired and aching and pressing his own kisses against the skin of your throat.

"I'm not goin' anywhere" You remind him gently, "We don't ever have to stop"

We don't ever have to stop.

Your sweet words rattle through his mind all the way to the bedroom.

If it weren't for the aching in his knees and the awful cold of the room now that he's not hidden in your front, he might not've even noticed the journey.

He's too tired, now. His head aches, and his adrenaline is well and truly shot. But the hope of you, of more of the wonderful warmth of you, is more than enough to keep him moving through it.

I've done worse for less, he reminds himself with every wounded step.

We don't ever have to stop.

And then there's the bed. The edge of the bed against his calves, and he knows his hands are free and that he should be doing something but he can't think of what, no matter how hard he tries.

You remind him, your hands on his belt, your feet nudging his boots so he remembers to kick them free before finally lowering himself onto the covers.

For a minute the familiar coolness jars him. His head spins and throbs and pulses and then,

and then your fingers are back in his hair. Your arms are wrapped around him, and all he can feel is warmth.

Warmth and pressure building behind his eyes. Incredible pressure that finally spills free as his eyes overflow. As he surrenders and clings onto your back with all the strength he has left, and cries.

He sobs, silently at first, tears melting into your chest as you stroke his back. Whispering soothing words that you know he can't hear. Letting him finally just be.

And then, he's asleep. And so are you, a tangle of limbs and covers and heat. The kind of heat that makes you drowsy, that makes Bucky drowsy.

Drowsy enough to sleep through whatever nightmares were bound to have been triggered by the missions, drowsy enough to keep him that way for hours in a row. And when he does wake up, for the first time in... well, a long time- he's smiling.

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