#qsmp transcriptions

[acutecoral]

Transcript for Quackity's recent stream

[Quackity start talking around 1:03 in, but before he speaks you can hear him breathe and sniffle a little]

Quackity: Hello everyone, uh…uh, I'm just waiting for enough people to get here. This is a very important stream. So I'm just going to wait a little bit.

Quackity: Um…[sharp intake of breath] Hello! I hope everyone is having a good night. I'm doing an urgent stream. Only to keep everyone updated on everything that's happening.

Quackity: I wanna apologise for this scuffed stream. I'm not on any of my set-ups right now, I wasn't expecting to stream right now so I don't even have a camera. But I wanna to let everyone know, that I've been out and I'm catching up on a lot of matters right now…

Quackity: Including a statement, that was just now, made without my approval.

Quackity: I've been notified, about an ongoing situation regarding Quackity Studios and I want to address it. Please bear with me as I'm barely catching up on a lot of these matters.

[He sniffles again]

Quackity: One gathering is that volunteers for Quackity Studios: are not being paid and are being given too many hours of activities.

Quackity: I wanna let everyone know that I was aware of a voluntary position, and I was under the assumption that there was a process volunteers would go through, to integrate themselves to the team with a fully paying job. What I was not aware of, is to what extent and conditions were being required from the volunteers.

Quackity: And I wanna thank everyone who brought this to my attention, because it is very clear to me that I need a much deeper involvement in the administrative part of my team. Something I have not been very involved with recently.

Quackity: I'm gonna perform a deep investigation, personally, on this matter as to see exactly what's happening. But one thing is very clear to me.

Quackity: There are going to be very drastic changes in QSMP moving forward. From the administrative perspective, and from the creative perspective as well.

Quackity: My responsibility relies on knowing what is happening in the project I am running. And for not being more involved? I want to deeply apologise. This should have never happened, and I am extremely disappointed.

Quackity: From here on out, I wanna make one thing clear: Everybody involved in Quackity Studios will be paid. And if at any point my own funds are not sufficient enough to pay workers or maintain the project? Then the QSMP cannot continue and it will close down. That's how committed I am to this project.

Quackity: So I wanted to make that extremely, extremely clear as to where I stand on this.

[Quackity in the next line sounds choked up]

Quackity: And this…n-next topic is very difficult for me to process, and it's an extremely sensitive thing, and I was waiting for the correct time for me but…that can wait, no longer. And I need to let everyone know that Wilbur is no longer a part of the QSMP.

Quackity: Lastly, I wanna thank everyone for their patience. This…year…has been very turbulent…for me. And I'm going to be very open; it's been one of the saddest years of my life.

Quackity: I'm trying to move forward and give everyone the best version of myself, and I'm very, very sorry if I've disappointed you.

Quackity: But…nonetheless, I gotta keep moving forward and I'm gonna keep working hard and I'm going to do what's right. And I wanna make this very clear.

Quackity: So thank you everyone. And um, yeah, I hope everyone has a good night. Thank you.

[iridescentpull]

I'm working on a full transcription for Fit & Pac's secret conversation during their date and I've already covered half of it. Here are some of my favorite bits! (the full transcription should come out tomorrow if everything goes well, so fingers crossed!)

Fit: Um, so… This is… So remember the day I told you, like, Agent 18 and Foolish?

Pac: Yeah, they are kinda like something? The man with the uplifted pants.

Fit: That was– that was a test to see if you could keep a secret and you passed– you CAN keep a secret, ‘cause I didn’t hear anything else from that from anyone else on the island. Um.. so..

Pac: Hmm.

Fit: So… If I tell you about this, promise you will not tell anyone?

Pac: *stutters* No– yeah, yeah, no– how can I say this? –uh, my mouth is a rock– no, that’s not the word, that’s not the slang, uh *sigh* I don’t know, sorry, but I won’t tell anyone, you know? T-That’s a secret I will keep for my life, you know? It’s gonna go with me in my coffin, you know? I’m gonna keep it– I’m sorry.

Fit: Okay… okay, ‘cause I want you to know once I tell you this, there’s no going back.

Pac: Really? But, like– this sounds like really bad stuff, like, really bad. Like, a super secret-secret I can’t tell anyone? I don’t know, that sounds… I’m scared

Fit: Me too.

Pac: O-Oh… Oh my God.

----------------------------------------------------------

Fit: I was sent to Quesadilla Island for a very specific purpose, yes. 

Pac: Which- Which purpose it is?

Fit: So I made a deal with someone that I would come to Quesadilla Island and obtain the player data of everyone here. And in return, I’d get paid a lot of money. But, I- I… since being on the island, though, I didn’t expect to get attached to anyone like, Ramon, or you… um, and my boss gave me one year to complete my mission of obtaining all of this player data, um

Pac: So… So you’re gonna leave… You’re gonna leave.

Fit: Well, here’s the thing, Pac– even if I complete the mission, I- I’m not leaving. Because… *stutters* I-I, I know Quesadilla Island is not exactly the best place in the world, like– we’re stuck here and the Federation are assholes but like, I care about the people on this island, like you, Ramon– we have all our friends like Mike, Philza, you know? Like– Tubbo. It’s just, I’m not planning on– even if I complete the mission, I’m not planning on leaving. 

Pac: No, that’s– that’s good to hear, you know Fit? You are very important to me as well as Ramon, Richarlyson, Mike, all my family here; and it’s good to know that you got my back, and I also have yours for anything you need…. But *stutters* I’m also scared, like– you made a deal with someone else? Like, it��s not related to the Federation? And, like, why do you need to handle the player’s datas, like, what’s up with the player data? Are there some hidden secrets? And you also have to deliver my player data as well?

----------------------------------------------------------

Pac: Yeah, uh-huh? That’s him? You’ve been working for the Naked Slenderman?

Fit: *laughs* No, no, no– he has a very similar appearance to that. He’s like all white, but like… it’s almost like he’s hiding what his true form is. Everything’s a secret with my boss, everything’s a secret

Pac: You are kinda like mysterious too… I noticed, you know? You don’t talk much about your life, or about your goals. So it’s really nice for me to hear that from you. You know what I’m trying to say?

Fit: No, I understand. Yeah, no– I appreciate that. 

Pac: You kinda trust on me, so I think that this is really serious. 

Fit: Thank you–

Pac: That is something that I will remember all my life, that you trust me.

Fit: *laughs* I’m glad Pac. But listen– when I, the reason I said that you to keep this a secret is… If the Federation finds out, they’ll kill me. If the Rebellion finds out, they’ll probably also kill me! So that’s why– 

Pac: Oh my God the Rebellion!

Fit: It’s, yeah, so like- but–

Pac: Amiga!

----------------------------------------------------------

Pac: Do you– Do you have my player data?

Fit: No. I think I–

Pac: W-Well, can I hand out to you– can I hand you my player data?

Fit: *laughs in disbelief* Well! Well that–

Pac: Can I? Fit: –that would certainly make it easier! But um… I think– I don’t know, my boss asked me for more than just that; the emotions of people, I don’t know what he meant by that, but like– how, how we react to things on the island. Like, all the things we go through, like– pain, our joy...

[youphoriaot7]

"...I can't tell Pac about the rebels."

"...but I hope he joins."

BONUS: He checked their book. >.>

"Not within official operations. Not yet approached by an individual on the island. Preparations are active. Status in progress."

[murky-tannin]

[start of transcript]

mikethelink >> That's just a square game Ph1l, nothing matters...

BagheraJones >> need help to chainsaw ?

Etoiles >> im tryharding a bit today my economy

Etoiles >> wont be here before 2 or 3 hours toby but down to play after

You whisper to Fit: I will lit fuck your father and film it and send it to you

Fit whispers to you: Suck my dick asshole

You whisper to Fit: if you insist

Fit whispers to you: Waaahhhh boohoo, my friends are happy, wahhhhhh

Fit whispers to you: Dipshit

You whisper to Fit: cry me a river

You whisper to Fit: I will, and then you can build a bridge and get the fuck over it

[end of transcript]

Holy shit.

That’s actually insane

[iridescentpull]

I transcribed all of Pac and Fit's talk when Pac was under the happy pills! Reblogs are appreciated, this took a bit lmao!

For other transcriptions, feel free to go to my carrd and press the transcriptions button. Hope you enjoy!

[youphoriaot7]

Transcriptions of the Books Fit Found

DATA FILE: CELLBIT RESIDENCE: Qisland_Federation_Quaters[sic] HP: 40 STATUS: ???

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Brown hair with a white streak. Frequently seen wearing goggles. Light stubble, generally not in-uniform in regards to federation standards. Blood type: Please see employee record #435

TRACKED: >Damage dealt: 112673 >Damage taken: 71363 >Mobs killed: 571 >Player kills: 1 >Totems used: 0

DATA FILE: ETOILES RESIDENCE: Qisland_Etoiles_cave HP: 40 STATUS: ALIVE

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Green-skinned, wears a mask. Seems to be a cucumber-man? Has an odd skin disease reminiscent of the anomalous infection from recent incidents. Unclear if just moldy. BLOOD TYPE: data missing

TRACKED: >Damage dealt: 3113332 >Damage taken: 689822 >Mobs killed: 57119 >Player kills: 20 >Totems used: 23

DATA FILE: FIT RESIDENCE: Qisland_Fitbase HP: 40 STATUS: ALIVE

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Bald, muscular. Seen either within his janitorial uniform or a brown shirt with blue jeans. BLOOD TYPE: data missing [Please request for his employee record]

TRACKED: >Damage dealt: 790008 >Damage taken: 97825 >Mobs killed: 4257 >Player kills: 3 >Totems used: 1

DATA FILE: ROIER RESIDENCE: Qisland_Roierhome HP: 40 STATUS: ALIVE

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Dark hair, normally seen with a smile on his face. The symbol of a spider is normally displayed on the front of his clothing. BLOOD TYPE: data missing

TRACKED: >Damage dealt: 279787 >Damage taken: 68409 >Mobs killed: 1393 >Player kills: 1 >Totems used: 0

[FUTURE REPORT] A signal coming from the lab came in, I tried to contact the team working and guarding inside but I got no response, I need to head out and check there.

The place is under good surveillance, I firmly believe it's only a malfunction of the alarm. There is no way anyone could have found it, but we can't let any doubt be, so I'll get there and come back as soon as possible.

Regarding the delivery for VITOR, I apologize but it will have to wait until I return. I need to make sure everything is fine considering the importance of what we have there.

WB046

Checklist:

Control snake population Contact Lab Scout the area Equipment has been taken? Evidence secured/reported Request an investigation Delivery for Vitor

[royalarchivist]

Etoiles: Guys, can we please– can we please give the $100k to Felipe?

Roier: Eh? What the fu– Ay ay ay ay– pendejos! Don't speak English, ok? Español. ¡Español!

Etoiles: Uh, uh, uh– [Singing] ¡Un, dos, tres!

Roier: [Also singing] Un, dos, tres, un pasito pa'lante María–

Phil: [In despair] ¡Inglés! Por favor!!! 😫

Roier: No, Inglés no, Inglés no. 😌

Phil: Inglés, por– 😭

Roier: Aqui Español, aqui Español. 🇲🇽 🇲🇽 🇲🇽

[murky-tannin]

Transcriptions of all reports under cut!

[BOOK 1]

Ongoing Report

Overall observations regarding the current residents on the Island.

Details can be found within the individual reports.

Further details are to be specifically requested.

A multitude of other individuals have been happily completing tasks for the federation. While some do it with enthusiasm, others are doing it purely for the prospect of a reward. Many of the residents seem very reward-oriented. Perhaps we can offer the same if resources permit it?

Though in such a case, perhaps we don't want such wavering loyalty in our groups.

[BOOK 2]

Ongoing Report

Status: Inconclusive

Resident's Info:

Name: Baghera

Alignment: Anti-Federation (assumed)

Observations: There's something about her that we haven't found out yet, but she's been very vocal against the federation. Her actions during the elections were notable. all in all she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Can we have someone try and find out what is up with her though? Specifically regarding the whole... being a human-duck creature.

[BOOK 3]

Ongoing Report

Status: Inconclusive

Resident's Info:

Name: Cellbit

Alignment: Anti-Federation (assumed)

Observations: We almost fell for the act he was holding for quite some time, pretending to side with the federation. If it hadn't been for our backup observation team we would have missed some of the signals- This man is deeply anti-federation and seems to be planning something.

Keep an eye on him. I think he might be useful in the future. We should plan on how to approach him.

[BOOK 4]

Ongoing Report

Status: Inconclusive

Resident's Info:

Name: Foolish

Alignment: ...chaotic?

Observations:

While this individual is working together with the little personal rebellion group that the island residents have formed, at the same time he has been acting as a detective/cop for the federation. He has been found imprisoning people he would call friends, and we managed to intercept and take a peek at some data that was produced by him regarding "rule-breaking individuals". Despite that, this individual also frequently partakes in "rule-breaking" activity. Keep a close eye on him, he's a wildcard. Maybe that's a good thing? Frequently has mentioned some sort of cloud.

How easy would it be to have him join us if we get one of those?

[BOOK 5]

Ongoing Report

Status: Not an option

Resident's Info:

Name: Jaiden

Alignment: Federation

Observations: Highly defensive of the federation representatives, frequently visited and requests visits from them. Her connections with the federation and her positive angle is a combination that marks her as practically part of them. Monitor her closely, in case she starts being more hostile towards anti-federation forces. For now she seems quite docile.

[BOOK 6]

Ongoing Report

Status: Not an option

Resident's Info:

Name: Forever

Alignment: Federation

Observations: While he's part of the anti-federation group from the island residents, he is too much of a liability due to his position as president. Far too close to the federation's eyes for us to even CONSIDER approaching him. Keep a close on on him purely to ensure that he doesn't get in our way.

books etoiles found in the bunker!

BOOK 1 | general assignment:

BOOK 2 | baghera's report:

BOOK 3 | cellbit's report:

BOOK 4 | foolish's report:

BOOK 5 | jaiden's report:

BOOK 6 | forever's report:

[toobbolive]

Fit: Dude my voice cracked until I was like 25 so like, don't sweat it Tubbo: Wait, I thought you were 24 Fit: What? Tubbo: Wait, how old are you? Fit: Tubbo I'm 33 Tubbo: What, that's not a bit? Fit: No it's not a bit!

[hepbaestus]

lullah wrote Phil a book and then asked if Phil could adopt her "for real" this time

[Start ID: A Five page Minecraft book written by Lullah to Philza and a purple adoption certificate on the QSMP Minecraft server that says:

Papa, you know how I love to ramble and I could write several pages long about how I feel. But this time I want to be straight to the point. A lot of people saw me as an extension of someone who's no longer part of my life, despite them being.

important at some point. With the reset taken into account, I had the liberty to start from zero and dettach myself... give myself the opportunity to be more ME without relying on someone else. Like I mentioned, ever since you adopted me back in July...

it made me be happier and accepted. You know me like the back of your hand (which I don't know if that's terrifying or endearing) but that's ok! Because that means we've spent enough time together to actually create a bond and share trauman :D

Anyway, thank you for being YOU and for being the best dad I could ask for. Even if I was not assigned to you on the first place, I am grateful for everything you've done for me.

I guarantee I am trying to also be the best daughter out there^^ Love you mucho (Spanish for a lot) tu niña (Spanish for your daughter) Lullah.

The adoption certificate is purple with a purple sunflower in the corner and says "Certificate of Adoption. Egg Name: Tallulah has been officially adopted by: Philza and Missa. Congratulations! /EndID]

[echotunes]

Hugo, two hours after joining QSMP, being so immersed in the qlobal translator's existence that he tried to use it irl to thank his McDonald's deliveryperson

Hugo: Ich hab... Ich hab grade zum Lieferanten "dankeschön" gesagt weil ich dacht'—ich hab mich so dran gewöhnt Deutsch zu reden, weil das automatisch übersetzt wird in QSMP, dass ich dachte, dass—dass meinem Lieferant das dann auch übersetzt wird. Bro! [cut] Digga das—ich erklär's nochmal ganz kurz. Also ich wohn' ja auf Madeira. Und die reden ja hier kein Deutsch. Digga, 'n Lieferant kommt hier hin, ich sag so "hello", ne, da hab—da wusst' ich irgendwie noch ok, Englisch. Bruder auf einmal sie gibt mir ne Tüte und ich sag "danke!" Weil ich— weil ich mit QSMP dachte dass das automatisch übersetzt wird—wird. Ich wa—ich—digga, das is' halt, das triggert dein Gehirn halt komplett.

(translation: I just... I just said "dankeschön" ("thank you" in German) to the deliveryperson because I thought—I'm so used to speaking German, because it's automatically translated in QSMP, that I thought that it would be automatically translated to my deliveryperson. Bro!

[cut] Bro that—I'm gonna explain it again for a sec. So I live in Madeira. And they don't speak German here. Bro, a deliveryperson comes here, I said "hello", like, at that point I still knew okay, English. And brother suddenly they give me a bag and I say "danke!" Because I—because with QSMP I thought it would be automatically translated. I—bro, that's just, that just fully triggers your brain.)

[murky-tannin]

Full transcript under cut!

SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Federation primary objective is to ensure the safety and health of all its Employees, as well as to protect company property. Our goal is to provide safe and healthful working conditions for all Federation Employees.

Safety Instructions have been written with input from Supervision of The Federation. While held to a minimum, the instructions address behaviors and work practices that can prevent injuries and accidents.

Employees must become familiar with and follow at all time The Federation Safety Rules. Supervisors must enforce Safe Work practices through strict adherence to Safety Rules.

THINK SAFE, WORK SAFE, AND BE SAFE

In case of: Foreign Hostile Entity

Do: Call the Guards Try not to be seen, hide in a corner if needed (hiding in the toilet bowl is off limits and gross).

Don't: Do not engage in fights with foreign entities, employee deaths cost resources.

Side notes:

THESE ENTITIES are UNKNOWN and powerful. They spawn randomly with one purpose only, TO KILL.

In case of: Flea outbreak

Do: Burn all your belongings, clothes, bed sheets, chairs… Spread the information instead of spreading the fleas. Use a quarantine suit! And the emergency shower for any contact with Federation staff！

Don't: Gift fleas to your friends! Eat, kiss, or pet the fleas!

Side note: The Federation is aware when employees have a case of fleas, don't try to hide it. It's pathetic to see you restraining yourself from scratching, stop doing that.

In case of:

◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎ ON THE RUN

Do: Call competent authorities! Attempt to push the ◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎

Dont: MOVE, TALK, OR BREATH. ◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎ ◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎

Side note: To view classified information please request permission from an A-ranked Employee.

In case of: Polar bear syndrome

- A behavioral disorder, which is caused by either behavioral displacement or stress factors.

Do: Immediately report the case to Cucurucho. Keep distance. Seek shelter.

Don't: Do not scream. This only worsens the individual's behavioral imbalance. Do not engage in conversation or try to help them in any way, it could result in casualties and even DEATHS.

Side note: Polar bear syndrome is a very dangerous condition and yet СОММОN. The Federation has strict protocols that MUST be followed at ALL times.

In case of: Dizziness from faulty warp plates

Do: Keep a brave face in front of the residents. Take a sip of water and cool down.

Dont: Throw up in public a space, PLEASE.

Side note： If the dizziness doesn't wear out, contact a supervisor, you might be subject to ◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎ ◼︎◼︎◼︎ ◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎◼︎

For More Information please refer to: SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS I and III - VI

Federation Employee Safety Instructions II

SAFETY INSTRUSTIONS ----------------------------------- The Federation primary objective is to ensure the safety and health of all its Employees, as well as to protect company property. Our goal is to provide safe and healthful working conditions for all Federation Employees. Safety Instructions have been written with input from Supervision of The Federation. While held to a minimum, the instructions address behaviours and work practices that can prevent injuries and accidents.

[iridescentpull]

after hours of rewatching the same vod over and over, I have finally transcribed all of Fit&Pac's secret talk during their date! reblogs are greatly appreciated, this took so long lmaooo <33

link here ↴

[youphoriaot7]

Fit's reply to the rebellion:

PURGATORY FINDINGS:

We were trapped on a strange island for 2 weeks by a strange, all-seeing EYE in the SKY. This entity forced us to fight each other in order to save the eggs that had been given to us by the Federation.

Many of us made it off the island on a ship, and somehow the eggs also found their way back, but in critical condition. Some of our friends and neighbors are still missing. I can provide more detailed information if necessary, but for now, I will be awaiting any further instructions.

Also, I think the Rebellion should start reaching out to Bagi. She proved herself very capable when she was our ally. Pac would also be sympathetic towards our cause. I still have not mentioned the Rebellion to either individual.

One egg, Dapper, is still missing for some reason. His father, BadBoyHalo, seems to have lost his memory. I would not approach him until his memories return to him.

-F

[riskyalt]

THE TUBBO GHOST INCIDENT

CONTEXT: Tubbo was bugged and no one could see OR hear him, so he thought everyone was just playing a prank. Etoiles gets there and he's apparently the only person who can see him LMAOO

TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT

Fit: Yeah are you okay?

Tubbo (in the background): Anyone? Hello?

Philza: Is Toby messaging you terrible things?

Etoiles: still laughing

Philza: I think he just left in rage because he saw, like, create pipes

Tubbo: CAN YOU SEE ME? WHAT? GUYS? HELLO?

Etoiles: Out of breath laughing

Tubbo (in the background): WAIT IS THIS FOR REAL?

Philza: Etoiles speak to me dude, what's going on?

Fit: Yeah do you need help?

Etoiles: To explain to you, Toby is bugged since 5 minutes and I disconnect, reconnect so I see him, but no one sees Toby and Toby is crying since 20 minutes saying "CAN SOMEONE SEE ME?"

Tubbo (overlapping): HELLO??? HELLO??? HELLO???

Philza, Fit and Bad: start laughing

Tubbo: GUYS???

Philza: I CAN HEAR HIM SCREAM THROUGH YOUR MIC

Bad: Wait what?

Tubbo: WHAT?? "THIS IS A DREAM TUBBO WAKE UP?"

Bad: Is he like right here and we just can't see him?

Philza: Yeah he's here apparently

Bad: That's crazy!

Fit: What??

Tubbo: THE SERVER HAS VANISHED ME

Philza: Nobody can see him apart from Etoiles

Fit: That's crazy

[murky-tannin]

If I haven't found In your eyes the light It's because your heart gave out Your lungs, a river

In the castle of secrets You are the youngest You know some secrets You say them so as to not forget them

Forget your children And your children's children Forget your first name And the way home

The precious of your past Of your joys, your anger You can't remember It's the wind that always silences you

If the wind has devastated In your eyes, the rest of the light We can meet again Both, warm under the earth

And forget your children And your children's children And forget your first name And the way home

Pomme - La Lumiére

We miss you, Dad

Come back soon.

Please...

Pomme - La lumière