#i want multiple people to be dating multiple other people

[ceesimz]

Evergreen

Glimpses of your relationship. (Autistic Reader)

Reverie series can be found here. This is structured differently than the rest, it's multiple blurbs in one that I've written over time, which has definitely made it unnecessarily long but it's super light-hearted and fluffy so hopefully it's worth it

Being in a committed, serious relationship was new to you. You had dated, and… that was about it. That’s as far as things had gone in the past. 

Yet, here you were, making your way through the airport after spending Christmas back home in ice cold, snowy Norway, a small smile on your face at the thought of the person waiting to pick you up and take you home.

It was a strange adjustment, that was for sure, but a very welcome one. Having someone at your side felt… comforting. Knowing you could go to her for anything at any time was comforting. However, sometimes it worried you that you had to commit your every day to her. Not in the sense that you couldn’t settle down with her and her only, no way. Instead, you were anxious about the fact that there were times you needed your alone time, where you needed the world to quieten down a little to give you the space you needed to regulate yourself. Would Alexia understand that? Or would it irritate her that sometimes the only thing she’d get from you was radio silence?

In the end, you didn’t need to worry for even just a second. As a matter of fact, you found that peace in Alexia’s company. Not all the time of course, that wasn’t entirely realistic and time alone was still something you needed, just… less often. You wanted to spend everyday with her, even when you were mentally exhausted or burnt-out and so stressed you feared your hair would turn grey. 

You hadn’t planned to fall in love within mere months of living in Barcelona, nor had you expected to fall for a teammate. However, sometimes the most surprising things end up being the best. You adored Alexia and all that she was, especially when she demanded that she drop you off and pick you up from the airport and left no room for arguing. 

The sight of her waiting for you as you walked out of the arrivals door was worth the ten days of torture being away from her. There was no way in hell you could have controlled the shy, excited grin on your face as you wandered over to her.

She didn’t hesitate in holding her arms out when you got closer, an equally sheepish smile greeting you before you stepped into her space. The blonde let out an audible sigh of relief when her chin landed on your shoulder, holding you tightly against her whilst your hands slipped underneath the puffer jacket she wore and landed on the small of her back atop her sweater. For a few moments, the pair of you indulged in the comfort of the other after going so long without it. Hundreds of people passed by you as you did, each of them nothing more than a fleeting stranger with a life as complex as your own, yet your interest in their stories and the lives they led paled in comparison to the all-consuming feeling of Alexia’s embrace. 

Despite how you had technically just gone home, back to Norway where you grew up with all your family around you, that reuniting hug was… something more. Something deeper. You couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was about it.

“How are you? How was the flight?” She murmured quietly, pressing her lips to your coat-covered shoulder before leaning back and gazing down at you.

“Tired. My mind is frazzled.” Alexia scrunched her nose at the unfamiliar phrase, and though she had never heard it before, she seemed to understand what you meant by it. You smiled at her as she did it, finding it much more adorable than you'd ever care to admit.

“Let's get you home, eh? With… with me? I stay?” She asked, wanting nothing more than to fall onto the sofa with you and lay there for the rest of her days.

“Yes, god yes. I missed you.” You told her. The blonde chuckled softly and pulled you back in, this time with her cheek resting against your forehead as you nuzzled your nose against her jaw.

“Sí, I will stay with you. Por supuesto.” Alexia said in a whisper, her lips pressing a kiss to your temple. “I missed you too. It was so strange without you.”

“How so?” You wondered, content to stay there in her arms with the warmth of her drowning out the cool chill of the terminal.

“I was sad. Whenever I had some free time, I went to ask if you wanted to come over or I go to you or we have food together or something. But you weren't here and then I was sad. I'm never sad.” You giggled at the last statement, because despite staying in touch whilst you were gone with both calls and texts frequently throughout the day, it was nowhere near the same as being there in person. You understood exactly what she meant.

“Don't be silly, you're the most popular person in Barcelona. You know everyone there somehow, nevermind the thousands of fans too.” 

“Maybe, but none of them are you.” 

Your first instinct was to roll your eyes at her statement, which made her grin, but it did something to you. To you and your heart, to the butterflies in your stomach.

“Calla, Ale.” You shook your head, though spoke with a sheepish gratitude to your voice and a weakness to your knees that had her laughing quietly.

“I am being serious. I wanted you to have an amazing time at home but I wanted the days to go fast so I could see you again.” 

Her hand that landed on your cheek stopped you from turning away from her out of embarrassment at her sweet words, and you barely had a moment to scold her before she leaned down and finally kissed you. Each of you were overcome with a sense of relief, of yearning, of adoration, yet there was one stand-out thought which you both had– there was no way you could go that long without it again. And for Alexia, well, she also knew there was never another person in the world that could make her feel the way you did with just one kiss. It broke off sooner than you wanted, simply because not one of you could stop smiling.

“Take me home now?” You said, gazing at her as she blinked at you a couple times before snapping back into the reality. You giggled, spotting the exact moment she came out of her thoughts, which were overflowing with you, and nodded.

In moments like this, it was hard to believe that you were hardly three weeks into the relationship. Yet, if this was what three weeks had in store for you, you couldn’t wait to see what a lifetime held.

There was a bit of that playful back and forth that you adored when she took your suitcase from you, arguing something to do with being a gentlewoman, and you let her. Who were you to resist her? Dumb, that’s for sure. So she wheeled your bag to her parked car, your hand grasping onto her upper arm, in a comfortable silence. With it, came quiet excitement that formed between you, only now processing the fact you were back in each other’s company and had the next few days to spend time together before training started up again. 

Nothing could have prepared you for the complete and utter domesticity that took over your apartment when you stepped foot inside again. 

Firstly, it started with Alexia heading to the kitchen whilst you went to your bedroom to drop off your bags and unpack the main things from your backpack. Unbeknownst to you, while you were out of the country, Alexia had borrowed Ingrid's key to your flat so that she could organise a few small surprises she hoped you would appreciate. And appreciate them you did.

Just as you were beginning to feel a little overwhelmed at the thought of all the chores that coming back from a vacation had to offer, the door to your room creaked open and in walked your girlfriend with a mug of your favourite hot chocolate in her hand. With a disbelieving smile on your face, you happily accepted it, placing a grateful kiss to her check as your silent way of thanking her.

And as if it couldn't get any better, with a quiet, loving murmur, the blonde persuaded you to leave your bags until tomorrow, not afraid to admit that she would much rather spend the evening in your arms than to see you add to your own stress by trying to get everything organised straight after a flight. You were glad to take her up on her advice because you walked into your lounge to a coffee table filled with surprises. A fresh bouquet of flowers, a new candle, the softest looking blanket you might have ever seen, one of Alexia's folded-up hoodies, and a small gift-wrapped box. You felt overwhelmed, but this time in the best way possible – because you felt wholly and completely loved, even if the pair of you hadn't said that specific word yet.

The only thing you could do to repay such kindness was by granting her wish of doing nothing but cuddling with you on the couch. So you did exactly that. With Alexia's hoodie on, which you realised was her favourite, you both lay down on the sofa and got comfy. Your head was on her chest, tucked perfectly under her chin, with the new blanket that exceeded your softness expectations covering you both, and the most adorable Christmas tree decoration hanging off a pine branch in the corner of the room. According to her, Alexia had chosen it whilst at the Christmas markets, seeing the beautifully crafted glass decoration and thinking of you. Though, she also went on to admit that she thought of you all of the time, hence why she had bought multiple small gifts for you whilst you were gone.

Neither of you planned to fall asleep, but it seemed that had been the case when Alexia woke up some time later, you still on top of her and sleeping. She glanced at her phone and her heart dropped when she saw the time. You hadn't spent the night together at this point of your relationship, yet here the midfielder was, still on your couch at 1am. 

Maybe it was slightly unfair of her, but she would have truthfully done anything to stay in that moment, with you completely at peace lay on top of her. So she lingered for a minute or two, one hand on the back of your head as the other slipped under her jumper and softly trailed her fingertips up and down your warm skin. She closed her eyes and rested for just a second, before letting out a slightly stifled sigh and raising her head from where she had laid back. She gazed down at you, your cheek slightly smushed against her chest and your lips parted as you let out small breaths every so often, and did her best to memorise the sight for herself.

“Cariño.” She whispered, gently nudging your shoulder to wake you up so she could leave. If it was up to her, she would just slip out quietly and not wake you, but she knew the anxieties that would most likely cause for you and that was the last thing she wanted. “Wake up, cari. Por favor.”

“Shh. Sleep.” You grumbled, burying your face further into her neck and pulling the blanket tighter around you.

“No, mi amor.” Alexia chuckled softly, which only had you groaning. “Sorry. I have to go, it's the middle of the night.”

“Just stay, Ale.” You told her. Now that, she wasn't expecting. And if you weren't toeing the line between awake and asleep, you probably wouldn't have said it either.

“S…stay?” She repeated, though got no response from you. “Wake up, wake up. Just for a minute while I go.”

You reluctantly opened your eyes then, if only to frown when you lifted your head up to look at her properly.

“Why do you want to leave?” You asked in a slightly anxious mumble, those worries that Alexia wanted to avoid appearing anyway. To quell them quickly, she cupped your cheek and leaned forward to kiss your forehead.

“Because we haven't spent the night together yet and I don't want to cross any boundaries. This is your space, I don't want to intrude and overstay my welcome.” She answered sincerely, gazing at you so softly that had you been standing, your knees would have surely buckled. 

Those three words were so close to slipping out then, but you feared it was too early and you didn't want to scare her away just as you'd gotten her back. She kept you and your needs in mind at all times- not an overbearing amount, instead in a way where she somehow always knew the moment it was necessary for her to voice her willingness to cater for them. You'd known each other for a number of months now, so she had come to know you well, but it still caught you off guard how thoughtful and caring she was. Other than Ingrid, you weren't sure you had ever come across someone outside of your family that treated you so... perfectly. So normally. It was second nature for the Spanish woman at this point, and that meant the world to you.

“Ale.” You breathed out quietly, shaking your head slightly. She frowned at your reaction, and you couldn't help the sleepy giggle that left your throat. “I would really, really love it if you stayed over. Only if you want to, though.”

Your hair was no doubt a mess from being asleep, you could feel how flushed your cheeks were, and the material of Alexia's t-shirt was probably imprinted on one side of your face. Despite this, Alexia still looked at you like you were the only person in the world.

“If you are happy with it, I would love to stay over. I couldn't think of anything better than waking up in the morning to you.” Her words had you blushing, as they often did, and in your shy embarrassment, you ducked your head down to hide the beaming smile on your face. You lifted it back up only a second or two later when you heard Alexia yawn above you, the pair of you bursting into loud, hearty laughter afterwards.

Together, even with your fingers intertwined for the very short journey, you headed to your bedroom. Alexia perched on the edge of the bed as you searched your wardrobe not only for yourself, but your girlfriend too. You turned around with a pair of shorts for you, more than happy to keep on the jumper of hers you wore, as well as a sweater and another pair of shorts for Alexia. However, she looked at you like there was something she was holding back when you went to hand over the clothes.

“I don’t… usually sleep with shorts or trousers on.” She admitted with an amusingly bright shade of pink to her cheeks. Even the tips of her ears had changed colours.

“That’s fine, Ale, you can sleep in whatever you want. Long as you’re comfy.” You told her, giggling at the small sigh of relief she let out as you put her shorts back into the drawers.

“I did not want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything. Thank you for this.” She smiled up at you before standing. 

There was a miniscule moment of awkwardness where the two of you felt like teenagers at a sleepover, worrying about changing in front of each other, until Alexia turned so that her back was to you and began to unbutton and unzip her jeans. You turned too, not without a coy grin on your face, and quickly got changed, as did Alexia.

“Can I turn now?”

“Are you finished?” 

You asked at the same time, laughing together once more whilst moving to face each other again. Alexia took in the sight of you in her jumper, the small detail making her heart skip with joy around her chest, and you shook your head at the fondness she admired you with as you tried not to look at the rather substantial amount of skin on show from the woman across from you. She looked adorable, in just her underwear and a sweater with slightly tousled hair. It was such a contrast to the person you saw on the pitch, and so what if you secretly, not-so-secretly loved the fact that you were the only one in the world that saw this dimension of her multifaceted persona?

“What side do you prefer?” You wondered, gesturing to the bed behind you.

“Which side?” Alexia scrunched her nose in confusion like she did back at the airport, and still you found it just as endearing. 

“Yeah, like do you prefer being closer to the door or to the window?” 

“Oh! I do not mind, cariño, you can pick.” You let out a dramatic breath at her decision, then immediately clambered under the covers, making Alexia smile. “So you like the window?”

“I do. I like being able to look out every morning, the sunrise wakes me up.” You answered her curiosity, and it was simply another fact which she stored away. She had a number of them memorised by now, but she hoped she could learn every single one. 

“Do you, um… like to cuddle? When you sleep?” The blonde murmured a little shyly, lay on her back with her head turned to you. You had a feeling, from the sheepishness in her tone, that there was a certain answer she was hoping for. When you answered, you couldn't help the small, excited smile on your face.

“I think I do.” 

At your response, she moved onto her side, her accent thick when she quietly demanded that you roll over away from her. Once you had, you hid your face in your pillow when she shuffled up close to you, her chest to your back. Were you sure you weren’t asleep? Because when her arm slipped around your waist and hugged you tight back against her, you were convinced you were dreaming.

But, of course, you always had something to say.

“Do you sleep with socks on?” You hummed curiously into the quiet room.

“Sí..? Why?”

“That’s so strange, Ale.” You commented, goosebumps rising on your skin with the huff she let out against your neck.

“Vete a dormir, idiota.” She grumbled, though you knew she was smiling, it came through so clearly in her voice.

You woke up first the next morning. You weren’t used to sharing a bed, so you didn’t sleep too great, but waking up to Alexia snuggled close to you with her head half on your pillow and an arm wrapped around your body to ensure you didn’t move from her hold, it was so worth it. Even if she called you a worm for the rest of the day, droning on and on about how wriggly you were overnight. This time, when she teased you, you could see the smile on her face as she did so, you didn’t have to assume she had a grin like the previous night. With how the first night went, you thought about your future with a smile on your face, now knowing that mornings were so much better than ever before when you woke up to Alexia’s grumpiness and her tendency to cling onto anytime you tried to leave the bed.

—

Just because you hated your own birthday, that didn’t mean you disliked other people’s birthdays. In fact, for the people closest to you, you relished the opportunity to meticulously plan for them and show them exactly how loved they were.

“Ale, I mean it. Don’t you dare show up early.” 

February 2nd was of course your girlfriend's birthday. It was a morning training session that day, which was honestly quite lucky, and after some celebrations there with the club, you two were going your separate ways. Alexia had plans with some of her close-knit circle of friends from her hometown, whilst you were finishing up organising everything for when she came over to your place afterwards.

You had your arms crossed and eyebrows raised as you looked at her in warning where you stood at the driver's side window of her car. She had a smug grin on her face, like she wasn't listening to a thing you were saying.

“What if I just want to see you, mi amor?” She argued cheekily, but you scoffed.

“Well, I'm right here, telling you to NOT show up early.” 

“But I'm early to everything! Early is on time, on time is-”

“On time is late, late is what the hell is the point of being alive, yes I know you, Alexia.” You jabbed a finger into her chest, smiling at the toothy grin she responded with. “But this is your birthday and I have everything planned down to a T, if you're early then I'm just going to kick you out and make you sit outside in the corridor until it's the right time.”

There was a tight schedule for the day, one you were not going to break. Alexia may try her damn hardest but her determination isn't going to win out this time, because yours is stronger. 

She was going to spend the afternoon with her closest friends, the people that she knew she wouldn't be where she was now without them, whilst you had an intense few hours of cooking. Yes, hours. Cooking historically wasn't your favourite thing in the world, you were a pair that did not get along, but with a few tips and lessons from Alexia's mother, you had nearly perfected one dish that you knew Alexia would die for. Hopefully she wouldn't have to resort to such extremities as long as you keep to your timetable and she doesn't ruin that.

“Oh my god!” You suddenly exclaimed as your phone vibrated in your pocket, your alarm telling you to get home ASAP going off at that particular moment. “I need to go! You’re going to make me late!” 

Before Alexia could even blink, you had kissed her cheek and turned to head back to your car. But she wasn’t allowing that.

“Oye! Ven aquí, engel.” She sounded serious and a little strict then, you had no choice but to turn around and walk back towards her skeptically. You stood about a foot away from her door, though she beckoned you over with a wave of her hand and raised an eyebrow when you only shuffled a tiny bit. “Ven aquí.”

You rolled your eyes at her and did as she said, though your attitude didn’t stay for long when she pinched your cheeks together with one hand and leaned up to leave a lingering, firm kiss to your pouted lips that momentarily turned your brain to mush. After she pulled back, she chuckled a little menacingly at the daze she left you in, until you blinked out of whatever not so PG thoughts you’d fallen into and back to the present. 

“Don’t distract me!” You groaned, pushing her face away gently with your palm. “Have fun with your friends, I’ll see you later. At the right time, Ale!”

Fortunately for you, she did show up on ti- well, two minutes early actually, but you were running ahead of schedule thanks to the gracious extra time you gave yourself in case anything did go wrong. Some things… did go wrong, but all were salvageable, and now you had the most beautiful aroma of slow-cooked, completely homemade (apart from the actual pasta) shredded beef ragu pasta circling throughout your apartment, and if you didn’t say so yourself, it could definitely pass as a Michelin star meal.

However, out of all the outcomes you had thought of for that night, there was one that you never could have prepared yourself for.

“You reek of wine.” Was the first thing you said when you opened the door to your pink-cheeked, suspiciously happy girlfriend. You scrunched your nose up at the distinct scent coming from her, or actually it was probably just your hypersensitivity to most smells, whilst Alexia beamed at you from her place rooted in the doorway.

“Hola, guapisima.��� The blonde grinned, reaching her arms out and making toddler-esque grabby hands at you, otherwise known as asking for a hug in sober language. 

Your first thought, as you leaned in, was one of anxiety and stress, since you didn’t exactly plan to deal with a wine drunk Alexia for the first time especially with it being her birthday. But then, she hummed almost like a happy cat purring when you wrapped your arms around her, and she seemed relaxed and happy in a different way than you had seen so far. Thankfully she didn’t seem too drunk, maybe just a bit tipsy, and as you held her you giggled at the way she nuzzled her nose into the skin just below your jawline.

“You had fun then? With your friends?” You wondered as you ran a hand up and down her jumper clad back.

“Mhm.” She lifted her head up and smiled at you. You looked in her eyes, and found nothing but carefree and utter contentment swirling around there. It did something to your heart then, a feeling akin to relief and pride settling over you at how at peace she seemed to be in your company. Even if that was assisted by the alcohol in her system. “So happy to be with you now. I waited all day.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Softie.” You teased, giggling at how she tutted in disapproval at your comment and raised an eyebrow at you. “Feliz cumpleaños.”

“Tusen takk.” Alexia grinned in turn, her eyes creasing in the corners. “Ves? I am not early. I am at the right time and hungry, so let me in.”

“No.” You said just as she went to move past you. You tightened your arms around her waist so that she couldn't move, and she frowned grumpily as a result. “You're two minutes early, actually.”

“Vale.” She sighed, giving up the fight much easier than you expected, which only raised your suspicions further. “You cooked, sí? Mami said you were cooking a big meal?”

“I did, it's almo-” You were right to be wary of her behaviour, as her hands slipped down to the back of your thighs and she hoisted you up into her arms, catching you off guard. You pushed the door shut behind her before she walked away, only just managing to reach it over her shoulder as she started walking through your flat. “Ale! What are you doing?!”

Not that she made it too far before she almost sent the two of you flying down to the floor when she bumped into the set of drawers near the entryway.

“Be careful! How much did you drink?” You scolded lightly, grabbing onto the door frame that led into the kitchen to steady yourselves. 

“Hmm… does it matter?” She answered, curving the question with a smile on her face before the smell of food cooking caught her attention.

“No, you can’t be in here yet! Put me down, get out!” You panicked slightly at how the surprise would have been ruined as she went to head over to the stove, though it was instantly relieved when Alexia stopped in her tracks and lowered you back down to the floor with a grumble. “You can’t know yet, I need to serve it up. Go sit at the table and wait, please behave. No funny business.”

“I will stay here and behave and watch you.” The midfielder compromised, and with a defeated sigh, you nodded and got started with the final steps of the evening. 

“You're so weird.” You muttered, turning to glance back at her where she leaned back against the wall with her hands clasped behind her like a bored, young child when she clicked her tongue in disapproval.

“Not weird.” She grumbled, giving up on standing around and waiting, instead wandering over to stand beside you, drooling at the food you'd prepared until something caught her eye. “What is this?”

She picked up the piece of paper she saw and read through it – albeit with slightly blurred vision – and felt a wave of adoration wash over her.

“Oh, it's the… timetable I wrote for myself tonight. So I didn't forget anything.” You replied sheepishly, opting out of facing the blonde in case her and her unpredictable drunken antics decided to tease you for it.

You knew it might be a little weird to anyone else that you'd make such a detailed outline for the evening, but it was something you had always done and it hadn't failed you thus far. It was very meticulous, with timings for food and reminders of tiny things you didn't want to forget and when you could get ready for her arrival as the dinner cooked without it ruining the process. 

Though, Alexia didn't think it was weird or unusual. To her, it was just another glimpse into your mind and how it worked, and she treasured it anytime she got to see that. She was sure, when you weren't looking and didn't need it anymore, she'd slip it into her pocket and keep it as a memory. Sure it might just be a lined bit of paper ripped out of the nearest notebook with scribbled notes that only you could understand, but for Alexia it was a sentimental souvenir that represented so much more than just a nice evening together. Making sure everything went perfect and was well organised that night was one of your many ways of demonstrating your love for her and how deep it ran.

“I really appreciate you setting up this evening for us.” Alexia began quietly, resting her chin on your shoulder and wrapping an arm loosely around your waist as her hand found its place on your hip. “Mi novia bonita. You are the best.” 

“I'm sorry we aren't going out or doing anything fancy.” You mumbled insecurely, suddenly shrinking in on yourself and allowing the doubts to come in. 

Alexia might be here with a smile on her face, but would she have been happier elsewhere? An actual Michelin star restaurant with a girlfriend that could handle more than half an hour in such an environment? Dressed up to the nines and paying a bill of, at the very least, three digits rather than putting up with a haphazard home-cooked meal and a night in?

“Why you say that?” Alexia frowned, gently taking the dish you were holding as well as the ladle in your other hand and putting them both down for the time being. She put the lid back on the pot so that the food didn't cool too much, before urging you to face her with her hand moving to your shoulder. “Why, when I think this is the perfect way to spend my birthday?”

“Because other years you've had parties and nights out, you've told me all about them and the dinners you've had and stuff. This is just… nothing compared to all those. But it's all I can give you and it doesn't feel like enough. I just… I tried my best though.” 

The words come out thick and fast with little warning, revealing stresses that you'd carried on your shoulders for days since you came up with the idea for this night. You tried to disguise them, whenever Alexia asked previously you what was up you shrugged her off, but of course it was now of all moments that you spilt all you felt. 

“No. No, no, no.” Alexia said, her eyebrows pressed down into a scowl of determination, which you took as anger.

“I am sorry, Alexia, I did try my b-”

“And your best is so much more than I could wish for.” She cut you off in a firm voice, her hands on either side of your neck as her thumbs under her chin tilted your head up to face her. “It is more than enough. I see what you have done here for me and I see you. Not what you can't do. Those other things for my birthday, they were more for my family and my friends to enjoy. I liked them, but… there is a reason I didn't want to do all that this year and it's not because of you. It's because it's not what I want, but you know what I want, and I know that because you've planned this night and it is perfect for me.”

With her flushed cheeks and slightly tousled hair from… well, from what you weren't sure though it probably had the same reasonings as the red tinge to her cheeks, but it was her wide eyes that really tied off the slightly manic appearance of her. Like, if you didn't believe everything she said, she might go on a tipsy rampage against everyone that had done you so wrong it had led to your current doubtful mindset. 

Your hands were clasped in front of you, fidgeting as you processed her words which had been a little unexpected. Perhaps a drunk Alexia wasn't such a worrying thing like you thought it might be.

“A… are you sure? I mean, I d-” 

“Spending time with the woman I love? She cooks an amazing meal for me? And it is just us, nobody else?” She interrupted you again, a soft smile on her face as her thumbs carefully caressed the soft skin of your cheeks. “I love that, cariño, I really have been so excited all day. Please, never… belittle yourself over what you can't do, when everything that you are doing is more than good enough for everybody around you. Nobody loves like you do and I feel very lucky to be the one that gets all you have to give.”

Definitely not as bad as you feared.

“You…” Speechless, you trailed off and shook your head. So you leaned in and hugged her, because there was very little you could say to repay her for her thoughtfulness other than- “I love you.”

“I love you too, mi amor.” Alexia hummed into your ear, swaying you both on the spot before her temporarily depleted attention span averted back to the pasta that was calling her name. “I also love pasta so please let me eat now. Two minutes have passed, no?” 

There was a grin pressed against the skin of your neck as you lightly hit her back for her comment. That night with Alexia was just another example of how well she truly knew you, unlike anyone you'd ever met. And that pride from earlier? It returned as you say across from her at the dinner table, a rich amount of pasta dished up in front of you both, because she said you knew her too. You knew her too. 

As it turned out, your cooking skills far surpassed Alexia's expectations, nevermind your own. She may have been a tiny bit worried considering the few but memorable occasions of you trying to cook for her, so she'd have to thank her mother in a very generous way, because it might have been one of the best things she'd ever been served. When the midfielder slumped back in her chair, the button to her trousers undone after stuffing her face with a week’s worth of pasta, her eyes never steered away from you.

You weren't doing anything of note, you were simply loading the dishwasher up with the plates and cutlery and whatnot that you'd used that day. Yet, for your girlfriend, there was so much love blooming through her chest she had no idea what to do with it apart from gaze at you like you were the one who had invented football.

“Your presents are in my bedroom by the way. I, um… may have gone a bit overboard.” You admitted shyly as you went to go back to your chair, though you were stopped in your tracks when an arm curved around your waist and pulled you down to sit on Alexia’s lap.

“Your bedroom?” She said lowly, a glint in her eyes that were solely focused on your lips. You blushed, knowing exactly what was on her mind, having come to recognise the pattern in her behaviour when she wanted… something in particular. You dragged the whole thing out, knowing it only ended in one way, but where’s the fun in that?

“Mhm.” You nodded, your heart rate speeding up a tad at how she smirked afterwards.

“Vaya, qué conveniente, no?” Alexia murmured, leaning in so that your noses brushed together and your lips were millimetres apart. At her teasing, you tried to resist the bashful smile but Alexia saw it for a split second before you could repress it. “Bueno. Vamos.”

In an instant, she was up from her seat with you in her arms, one strict destination in her mind with one very likeable goal. 

“Ale, I just had a giant bowl of pasta!” 

“No me importa, mi amor.” She sang, before kicking the bedroom door shut behind you both.

—

From an outsider’s perspective, your relationship seemed just as perfect as it was in your point of view. Didn’t take a genius to recognise that; five minutes with you and Alexia, anyone could see how much you valued each other.

“-and then my mother rang Mapi, like actually called her, just to see if I was lying. They teamed up on me, snuppa, my mother and my girlfriend. Over soup.” 

“That is… you got yourself into that mess, Ingrid. I can’t comment. Can’t take sides.”

Just like it had been ten years ago, back home in Norway in a tiny hotel in Oslo, you and Ingrid were sharing a room for an away game. There had been training, dinner, and now it was downtime where everybody could choose what they wanted to do. With Alexia at the press conference and Mapi… doing whatever Mapi did, you and Ingrid settled for a relaxed night in, though the movie you’d landed on was long forgotten in the background.

“You just took a side. Unbelievable.” The dark-haired woman sighed, shaking her head in disappointment. You grinned, lay on your side on your bed as Ingrid painted her nails across from you on hers.

It was peaceful and just what you wanted it to be, some time alone with your second favourite person in your life where you could just exist in each other’s company. Unfortunately, though to nobody’s surprise, it didn’t last long.

“Buenas noches.” Alexia smiled as she walked in, somehow having acquired a keycard to your room.

“What are you doing here?” You asked in confusion, not expecting to see her for the rest of the evening since you weren’t sharing a room.

“Oh, what a lovely greeting.” She scoffed jokingly, disregarding the fact you were midway through a conversation and flopping down onto the space next to you. The blonde lay on her stomach, face turned into your back as an arm flung around your waist. And she just stayed there.

With a glance at Ingrid, who shrugged her shoulders, you rolled your eyes at your girlfriend’s antics before the pair of you slipped back into conversation like nothing had happened. Alexia piped up every now and then, but for the most part, she remained quiet and just relished in your company. 

Ingrid hadn’t seen these sides to either of you, ever.

It was something small, you and Alexia didn't even exchange a word, but there was a smile on your face as you chatted with Ingrid that the defender didn't see much until Alexia came into your life. Still, it was big enough for her to come to a realisation. Two, actually.

First, that you were happy with Alexia, which made her beam with joy for you and feel extra grateful for Alexia. The second, though, was something she had hoped would happen the minute she caught wind of the transfer rumours. You were completely, genuinely, whole-heartedly happy with your life at Barcelona. And in Barcelona too of course, but you weren't currently in the city at that moment, you were halfway across the country, so. But her point still stood.

However, no matter how much she valued your happiness, she could get to that another time. For now, she wanted-

“I want to go to sleep now.” She decided, zipping up the bag in which she kept all her nail stuff for when she travelled, looking at the two of you on the bed and noting the puzzled expression on your face.

“Then go to sleep, Ingrid, nobody is stopping you.” Alexia chuckled behind you at that, quickly leaving a kiss on the back of your neck before sitting up. 

“No, she is trying to tell me to get out.” She yawned, sharing a smile with Ingrid at your misunderstanding.

“Oh. Well, get out then. You’re not even supposed to be here.” Ingrid grinned at your reply that had Alexia frowning, not expecting you to go against her.

“You’re supposed to be on my side, cari.” She argued, nudging your knee.

“Ask Ingrid. I don’t take sides. The only side I’m on is the right side of justice.” Ingrid bursted out laughing at that and you had to stifle your own, though you did smile at the unimpressed but amused look on Alexia’s face. “Take it up with the club, those are the rules. You’re the captain. I’m sure they will be so glad to hear you can’t stay away from your girlfriend for a few hours overnight.”

The captain shook her head and stood, tugging you off the bed and wrapping you up in a hug that had a better purpose than simply saying goodnight. She slipped her own keycard into your pocket and whispered something unintelligible for Ingrid’s ears to you. Then, she left with a grin, and Ingrid scoffed as you turned back to her shyly, cheeks bright red.

“You know what, I don’t even want to know.” Ingrid said, gathering her things to take into the bathroom to start her night routine.

“It was nothing like that!” You claimed abruptly, realising where her mind had gone. You hesitated for a moment, before remembering who it was in front of you. “She was just being sweet. Saying she would miss me for the night.”

All Ingrid could do was shake her head at the pair of you and how utterly loved up you were, because with every glimpse she caught of the true nature of your connection with each other, it exceeded her hopes and expectations every single time. So, with her hands on her hips as she took the sight of you smiling with a soft shyness to your face and how you fidgeted with the keycard in your pocket, she had no qualms expressing her feelings.

“Do you know how much it means to me? To see you this happy with someone?” Was what she said, which you weren’t expecting at all. You were expecting more teasing, or for her to just tell you to be quiet so she could get ready for bed. Certainly not that.

“What do you mean?” You wondered quietly. She came to stand in front of you and put her hands on your shoulders, meeting your curious stare with a proud look in her eye.

“It just makes me happy to see that you have found someone that treats you exactly as you deserve to be treated. Who isn't afraid to ask questions, who goes above and beyond for you, who sees you for who you are. I had no idea Alexia would be that person for you but I am so glad she is. I am just… relieved and proud that this is how things have worked out for you with moving to this club. I was worried you wouldn't like it but you have really made a place for yourself. And you even got yourself a girlfriend, like, look at you go!” Ingrid beamed, shaking you a little from excitement as she spoke. 

You giggled at her because this moment was so Ingrid, but at the same time, it tugged on your heart strings. Her words put things into perspective for you about everything that had happened since you left Germany, and though there had been lows, there were so many more highs than you realised. Even still, the best was yet to come.

There wasn’t a single part of you that would ever get tired of hearing how proud and happy Ingrid was for you. You’d looked up to her since the moment you met her, she was an example to you, like a big sister. No way would you be the person you were without her. She’s one of those people you hold onto for life, and you would spend the rest of yours trying to repay her for everything she’d done for you.

The next morning, when Ingrid woke up alone in your shared hotel room, she wasn’t even surprised, nor was she the slightest bit concerned for your whereabouts. There was only one place you would be, and though you cruelly abandoned her some point during the night, the sight of you walking in with Alexia, wearing her training jersey with 11 printed on it, her arm around your shoulders as you giggled at something she said to you, was very much welcome.

—

When something wasn’t quite right with Alexia, your entire world felt off-kilt, until you got to the bottom of what was up with her. Sometimes she’d willingly come to you for some support and comfort, other times she was reluctant, and very much stuck in her own head.

Like, for example, just before the season started ramping up, she got a minor muscle injury that’d keep her out for a couple weeks. Everyone knew how it’d make her feel, but it was up to you to be there and reassure her that no, the world wasn’t ending, and yes, she could be the little spoon for that evening. 

Alexia was a bit of a doom-thinker, which not many people knew about, but it was the truth. The moment she was told some bad news, there was a frown paired with a scowl which both were so deeply imprinted on her face, if there was a gust of strong wind, she might actually, genuinely, get stuck like that. Her mind worked on overdrive, thinking and thinking and thinking until she could land on the fastest solution to whatever was wrong. When there wasn’t an immediate solution, well… you wouldn’t be surprised if her head exploded.

So, after having gone home before Alexia was done with her physio assessment, you raced back as soon as you could the second one of the Barca staff told you she was still there, on her own, watching the B-team’s training session. You had tried ringing her, though you knew her phone was most likely sitting in her bag in the locker room as she attempted to gain some peace of mind. The captain had apparently been there for quite some time, however, and you felt she’d had enough time on her own to process it before she needed the care of someone she loved.

She sat on the second-to-top row of the bleachers, hood up and cap on with her hands in her pockets, slumped back against her chair as her eyes tracked every movement of the young players in front of her. You approached her quietly and cautiously, as if trying not to spook away some sort of wild, erratic, unpredictable animal. But no, it was just your emotionally inept girlfriend- inept only when it came to football and injuries.

Even though she could definitely hear you, she gave nothing away.

“Ale? Can I sit with you, or would you like some more time on your own?” You asked gently, the blonde staying silent. “I can leave if you’d like. Just thought I’d come check on you.”

After a second or two, she shook her head and waved you over. She didn’t really know what to say, her mind was split in half and each side was fighting it out between being angry and being logical. She knew she’d be back in no time, but there were still games missed. Missed games, missed opportunities.

You took the seat beside her and tried to get a read on her face, which was entirely emotionless apart from the way she pursed her lips and the slight scowl she had that couldn’t be blamed on the sun, thanks to her hat. Without really knowing how she felt, you didn’t know what to do. Alexia had never lashed out at you to ever give you the wrong idea, but you really didn’t want to say the wrong thing and make her feel worse, or angry.

That was until, about a minute after you sat down, she shuffled a little closer in her seat to where you sat, her shoulder just slightly brushing against yours. You knew that was her silently reaching out, so you complied easily, and rested a hand on her thigh, which she immediately grasped onto with her own. 

“It is so annoying.” You heard her say some time later, her voice just a whisper which had the tiniest crack of emotion in it. “And I am annoyed that I feel annoyed.”

Her eyes were still unmoving from the pitch, but as you looked at her, you smiled sadly, and slipped your hand out of hers to wrap an arm around her shoulders. You coaxed her closer to you, glad when she leaned your head against yours. You would never wish for her to be in this position or a situation similar, but right now you knew she was okay and safe, so you relished in the fact she sought you out, like you did when the roles were reversed. It was the wrong moment to think such a thing, but you were almost relieved that she also needed you when she was going through a difficult time, like you needed her. 

“I know. Nobody expects you to just sit back, take this news, and not be angry that an injury has come when you’re so in form. And when the team needs everybody because it’s going to get hectic soon. Let yourself feel frustrated, you’re allowed to and expected to. But when we wake up tomorrow, you’re gonna come here, and you’re gonna get on with rehab because that is your mindset. You know, when you get up in the morning, these resentful feelings will have gone. You just have to feel them.” You settled on reminding her that she knows she will get past it, because it was the truth, and trying to sugarcoat anything or pretending like all was okay would have been the wrong way to go about this situation. 

Alexia was ineffably grateful. For you coming to be beside her, for your words, and just for you overall. She always found these first moments after bad news difficult, but the road ahead of her seemed so much clearer with every bit of reassurance you gave.

“And you will be with me, huh?” She turned to you with a slight smirk, an act you knew was a classic performance of fake it ‘til you make it. If she acted confident, maybe she would start to feel somewhat sure of herself again.

“And I will be with you for every second of it. Every second.” You told her with a bright smile, and the combination of that and your dedication to her also brought a smile of her own to her face. “You are the most determined person I have ever met. But it is human to have blips. It’s why I’m here; to try to make you feel better because you don’t have to go through blips alone.”

Somehow, you were saying all the right things, even if you thought you were just muddling through an internal checkbook of ‘things people say to each other during hard times.’ Seeing Alexia with a smile on her face compared to the stormy expression she wore when you arrived was a huge boost in confidence. Even more so when she turned her body towards you and ducked her head down so that she could rest her chin on your shoulder as she brought you in for a hug that comforted you just as much as it did her.

“Thank you for coming here.” She mumbled into your jacket, and you kissed her cheek afterwards. 

“Always. It is my duty to the team, no?” You couldn’t help but grin in triumph when she laughed, slightly muffled by your clothes, but she laughed nevertheless. “And as your girlfriend, I suppose.”

“You suppose.”

“Fine. It is my duty, a duty I take very seriously. A duty I’m very good at, considering I’ve got you here in my arms, laughing like you didn’t look like you wanted to watch the world burn when I arrived.”

“You are… annoying. Cocky, smug, and annoying. Stop it.”

—

You were serious when you said you’d be there every second along her rehab. As you had told her, it was a duty you took very seriously. But how serious, Alexia didn’t know in that instance at the training ground. 

One of your favourite love languages for others was gift giving, you were sort of known as the best present-buyer with everyone you know, because that was also another thing you did not joke about. Though, it was your spontaneity with such a habit that you knew people appreciated most. And who else would be at the top of that long list of people, other than your girlfriend. 

Even if you did accidentally almost send her to hospital as you walked into her apartment out of the blue as she sat at her dining table with her headphones on. 

Since she was out of playing action and feeling a little useless with what she could give to the team, she basically took it upon herself to take notes of the matches and training sessions that she’d missed whilst she was gone so that she could send them to the team and hope they got good use out of it. That meant her attention was entirely on her laptop and notepad when you walked in, a small gift bag in your hand and a nervous look on your face, which she missed of course.

It wasn’t until you were stood beside her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder that she jumped out of her skin and slammed her headphones down on the table so hard out of fear, you worried she’d broken them. Then, she exhaled deeply, hand on her heart as she worked to slow it down once she noticed it was you. Unfortunately for her, you had no control over the laughter that bubbled out of you at her dramatic reaction, to which she groaned and pulled you closer with an arm around your waist, hiding her face in your stomach out of embarrassment. 

At that point, you noticed something very convenient for the gift you had bought her. Her hair was tied up into a messy bun, making your life so much easier.

“Close your eyes, Ale. I have something for you, you’re not allowed to see it.” 

“Why get me something if I cannot see what it is?” She argued, putting on that frustratingly endearing faux innocent expression she often put on when trying to fight her case over something small and light-hearted like this.

“Just be quiet and do what I say.” You told her, attempting to be stern but it was entirely futile when she gazed up at you like that, and before you’d even finished your sentence, there was a smile on your face. 

Despite how she rolled her eyes teasingly, she closed her eyes and sat still, waiting for whatever you had in store for her. As she sat there, she could hear you reaching into the bag she spotted and taking something out of it, but other than that, she was none the wiser to what her surprise was. Her eyebrows shot up when she felt you lay something delicate around her neck.

“Engel, what have you done?” She enquired, her eyes still shut as she fought the urge to open them prematurely.

You stayed silent, making sure the present was secure, before tapping her shoulder to indicate you were done and stepping back shyly. The second she opened her eyes, she fixed you with a knowing, accusatory glare, before standing and heading over to the mirror, where her face lit up at what she saw.

A dainty gold chain sat perfectly across her neckline, a simple piece of jewellery that immediately jumped up to the top of her favourites. There wasn’t anything outrightly extravagant about it, it was discreet and meant to be worn with daily casual clothes, but Alexia wondered how she’d gone without it for so long, because it was truly perfect. She couldn’t find a better word to describe it. Maybe priceless, because the sentiment behind it was even more beautiful to her than the appearance of it. 

You had gone out with some friends having woken up without Alexia beside you that morning with no plans to see each other that day. Yet, there you were, showing up out of the blue with a surprise that she treasured after having it in her possession for no more than a minute. It was supposed to be an entirely inconspicuous day for the pair of you, but that flew out the window when you decided to get her a gift that could probably never be topped.

Alexia never really found herself as someone that people randomly bought gifts for. Sure, her mother and her sister might spot something and get it for her, but other than that, everyone assumed she had everything she could ever need, what with her wages and her sponsors and bonuses for all the thirty titles she’d won. She never would have known that a necklace could evoke such a whirlwind of emotion throughout her. It stuck in her mind, on repeat, over and over; you went out shopping with friends, without Alexia even jokingly asking for a present, and had seen something which made you think of her. And you even went so far as to buy it for her, and then surprise her at her own apartment with no warning. 

“It’s just something small, I know it’s not all that special, but I saw it and thought of you and deci-” 

The blonde had a habit of cutting you off when you rambled insecurely, though it wasn’t something you had a particular distaste for. Every time she did so, she stopped you in your tracks and did something that pulled each anxiety from your mind until you forgot what you were even worrying about. Whether that be by talking, or drawing you in for a hug, or offering a distraction, or in this case, indulging in the overwhelming amount of love she felt by kissing the life out of you.

Though, for her, that still wasn’t enough of an expression of her feelings, so just as you caught up with her she pulled away. Her arms were around your waist in an instant, and she lifted you up off the ground and spun you both around, like movie stars in the rain. However, thankfully you were both warm and majoritively dry in the comfort of Alexia’s apartment- majoritively dry, because there were… tears on your neck?

“Are you crying?” You asked in disbelief, surprised that she’d have such a reaction to just a necklace.

“Yes. Yes I am.” Alexia answered with a laugh, using one of her hands to hastily brush away the endless tears that fell. “I am crying because you bought me a necklace. For no reason, you bought me a necklace, and I really l-love that. It means a lot to m-me, amor.” 

Her reaction almost had you crying too; she was adorable, and you hugged her tighter because it felt like that was all you could do. Every day with her, she showed a new side to who she was away from Alexia Putellas, the merciless footballer that was no match for anyone. This version, this emotional, choked up version of her was so heart-warming, part of you wished the world could see it, whilst the rest of you relished in the fact you were the only person to see it. Only you could make her cry over a necklace, and as weird as that was, it was your badge of honour you’d wear with pride. 

Perhaps your bank account wouldn’t agree, but you’d buy her a dainty gold chain everyday of the year if it meant she felt at least half as loved as she made you feel.

—

Somewhere along the way since you first fell in love with Alexia, Barcelona officially became… home. 

Germany was never home, you always knew you’d move away at some point. You liked the city you were in, you thought you loved it at the time, but… Barcelona introduced to you what love actually was, and it was Alexia. 

You didn’t know what life had waiting for you years down the line, and if you thought about that and its unknowns for too long, you would send yourself into an anxious tizzy that was entirely unnecessary. For now, you were the happiest you’d ever been, and it just so happened that you were in Barcelona when that happened. The city was dreamy, though so was the woman you were in love with. So were your friends. Everything about your life was the best it’d ever been.

That, unsurprisingly to you, opened up a world of daydreams and scenarios to think about. The first on your agenda, which was a terrifying one if it didn’t go your way: would Alexia ever want to live with you?

“Ale? Can we talk about something?” You said out of the blue as the pair of you walked along a beach in Madeira, hand in hand as the waves lapped calmly over your feet and the sun and the sky flaunted its beauty with shades of purples, pinks, and oranges, painting the perfect, serene background to a conversation sure to bring some anxiety. 

“Of course. Anything. Do you want to sit down and talk?” Alexia suggested, taking you both a little higher up the sand after you nodded. She took a seat first, before looking up at you with a welcoming smile as you paused for a moment, then sat down.

It was probably ridiculous and childish that you thought so, but you hated how the dynamic of any kind of relationship could change with one conversation. With what you were about to say, you felt sick at the possible outcomes. You knew what you were about to say, whilst Alexia was blissfully unaware of the storm you were about to kick up. The words were on the tip of your tongue as you looked at her, and your mouth opened and closed for a few moments as you built up the courage to speak them. Eventually, you did, and Alexia waited patiently throughout your internal warfare.

“Would you… ever want to, maybe, live together? One day?”

For a few brief moments (the worst of your life), Alexia didn’t respond. In that short time, your anxiety reached whole new heights, convincing you that the next words out of Alexia’s mouth would be her breaking up with you. They weren’t, of course they weren’t.

“I would love to. I really would.” She admitted coyly, smiling and shaking her head at the utter look of shock on your face. “I have been thinking about this for some time, I just didn’t know how to bring it up. So, please, tell me what you think.”

“What I think?” Alexia nodded, a comforting hand landing on your knee. “Well… I don’t know how we would do it.”

“What do you mean? We just decide whose apartment to move to and do that, no?” 

It wasn’t that simple, unfortunately. This was something you did indeed have a lot of thoughts on, and maybe it’d be those that would finally scare her off. 

Alexia was amazing at understanding, but she wasn’t perfect. Nobody could blame her for not being clued in on something like this, especially since it was the first time you were talking about it together.

“I… that wouldn’t work. Not for me anyway.” You started, a little disheartened by the frown that formed on her face. Still, you explained yourself. “If I moved into your apartment, it wouldn’t feel like my home. I love your apartment, I do, but it’s your apartment and always has been. If you moved into my apartment, that would mean that… it’s not my space anymore. Which makes no sense at all because it obviously would be, but… I don’t know how to explain it best. It’s…”

You trailed off, frustrated at how you couldn’t properly articulate yourself in such a delicate situation. But, now that she was clued in, Alexia understood exactly what you meant. 

Your apartment was your dedicated space; having someone move in, no matter who it was, would feel like having an intruder there at all times. Everything would be different in your mind, even if the only physical difference was Alexia, your girlfriend. It’d take you months, or probably even years, to get used to it. And you know you couldn’t live like that, even if you so desperately wanted to. 

Living with Alexia in her apartment would be even worse. You know her apartment as a visitor, but not as a resident. If you lived there, it would constantly feel like you were in someone else’s home and not your own. These two things, though they may be the easiest options theoretically, would cause all kinds of hell for you and probably reverse all the progress you’d made since moving to Spain. It would put strain on everything, from your relationships, to the football you played, to your mental health, everything. It just wasn’t a feasible or healthy option.

“I understand that, mi amor. I understand all that you said.” Alexia tried to reassure you, but you could see the sadness in her eyes that she tried to disguise. She was upset by this new revelation, and that wrecked you. “Please don’t feel guilty about it though. I am not mad or anything.”

You nodded and avoided her eyes, focussing your attention on the ocean in front of you and crossing your arms, like you were protecting yourself. You pulled away from your girlfriend to get away from the inevitable pain of her pulling away instead. Alexia realised that and had to suppress a sigh, not one of annoyance or along those lines, but out of concern, because she could see that turmoil this conversation had caused you. 

She decided to give you a couple minutes to think on your own, wondering if that’s what you’d need to process all that had just occurred. She was right to do that, because you did something rare. Rather than dwelling on the negative outcomes of what just happened, you tried your best to make something good out of it.

Because, in the end, relationships were all about compromise.

“Maybe, next year or next season or whatever, we…” You paused to take a breath, then addressed Alexia directly. She met you with a curious and open gaze, wordlessly encouraging you to get whatever it was off your chest. “We revisit this conversation, and… look at houses together?”

A new, shared space would work. A blank canvas for you both to work together on, to figure out together, to make a house into a home, together.

Alexia’s wide, bright smile was worth more than anything else in the world. One second, she was sat beside you, and the next, she had lunged forward to tackle you to the soft gold ground beneath you, putting her weight on you as she leaned down to shower you with the surge of adoration she felt. She peppered kisses all over your face and down to your neck, eliciting a surprised giggle out of you that was priceless to her. 

Your future, your shared future with the woman that lay on top of you, was in sight and near enough solidified. In a few years, you might not be a Barcelona player, football might take you down a completely different road, but the one you were on now, where you had plans to buy a house with Alexia, was enough for now, enough to settle the anxiety you always got when you thought about the future, because things were pretty good at that moment.

And to tie off an all-round very successful conversation, Alexia said something that summarised your whole relationship in only a single sentence. 

“Whatever you want to do, we will do, because seeing you happy makes me happy also.” 

—

depending on the reaction to this, i have no idea when or if there will be another story after this one. very anxious to post for reverie after all that happened because people have not so fun opinions about this overall topic that can and will wreck me which is pretty scary so :)

[grabowskibeepboop]

Okay, I tried reading though all of this, but it started turning into utter jibberish, now this might be because I'm tired, but I also think there are so many details in this that it's starzing to bore me, as well as words I don't know what they mean, but I do like the mentioning of leabians, so far it's only a mear mention tho

So I could not read though all this, but it did make me come up with my own idea for a show about the alliance of two different kingdoms, where the "normal" one, the one without magic, the sorta "good" one (there would be no good and bad, only weird culture and bad reputation on the magical side ig) is the one that's portrayed as strange, because they're always overly kind, naive and understanding, to the point where the folk from the other kingdom start questioning how they're even still alive, eventually making an inside joke about them being extremely lucky or smth

Now I do love a good straight but queer couple, but I also love a good fake dating/arranged marrige plot where the participants don't actually end up falling in love. Paired with me not being able to not make everything gay, I imagine the princess, who for the sake of difference is from the "good" kingdom, is more so the clear minded, cautious, rather pessimistoc than optimistic but still able to see things in a good light kind of person, the kind that would be from the "bad" kingdom, and allthough in her day and age it wouldn't be likely that she's able to put a lable on it, but she is aroace, and her closest allies, her platonic partners are all members of the royal staff (idk the medieval word for that). Now the prince of the "bad" kingdom on the other hand is more "lucky" than the "lucky people", he is sincere, kind, a great, cheerful and bright person. Multiple assasination attempts failed on him, eventually leading to the most tryhard assasin falling in love with him, allthough you would never catch him admit that. Who that assasin is, I haven't got the best idea yet, but he doesn't have either kingdom's wellness as his best interest, and it's because of him that the royal wedding always gets cancelled, not letting the soon to be queen to unite the two kingdoms, finally creating peace and making them greater than any other kingdom around. The show's finale is when this finally happens, and it's able to happen only after the prince is able to (wether knowingly or not, maybe we never actually get to find out of the assassin ever gets find out) convince the asassin to leave it be (him realizing his feelings amd that they have been the driving factor in all this, and that the marrige doesn't mean any more than an alliance to either parties)

Idk just brainstorming

As for the og post, I haven't even got to the fanart area it's so goshdarn long, it's frustrating because I want to read it all but it's also kind of boring (no offense), I can't seem to be able to gnaw through it

Daughter of fantasy villains decides to rebel against her parents by actually going through with her arranged marriage to a local golden retriever of a prince instead of running off with some local villain-to-be or conquering said golden retriever’s kingdom and ruling it solo like her parents expect her to. Plus, sue her, she’s into the clean-cut earnest look.

At the same time, local prince charming discovers that he’s actually very into the gothic fiance his parents have landed him with in order to try and establish peace with the local evil lair down the lane, he would never have guessed a spiderweb pattern could look so fetching on a ball gown…?

Meanwhile, two pairs of parents in a tizzy because they both expected their offspring to whole-heartedly reject this union and give them an excuse to conquer their goody-two-shoes/evil neighbours, they’re not supposed to actually like each other-!

[allpiesforourown]

I freaking LOVEE asshole luo binghes reddit posts

😈 u/Luo_Bingge

AITA for taking my best friend of TEN YEARS out on valentines day and not my girlfriend of ONE WEEK?

So my best friend(M22) and I (M21) have been going out for valentines day every year since we were 15. This tradition of ours started back when Gege got extremely sick on valentines day and had to spend it at the hospital. Me being a good friend of course made him dinner and brought it to the hospital to eat with him. I also made sure to get him flowers and chocolate just to make sure he had a good valentines day.

We've been doing this every year since because Gege never has a date and as his best friend I want him to have a great valentines day every year! He deserves it!

Anyways, this year I had a girlfriend during valentines day. Usually on valentines day I'd be single since I either broke up with my previous girlfriend the day before, or got together with my new girlfriend the day after valentines day.

Anyways this year she expected me to spend valentines day with HER and not my Gege! Which was insane and she was acting super entitled! After arguing with her for awhile I decided to lie to her and tell her I would go with her.

Obviously though, I didn't and bought plane tickets so me and Gege could get out the country for a week. I put my phone on silent for the entire trip and when we got back home after it was over, I found that she completely blew my phone up with notifications. She was acting totally dramatic calling me an asshole and the scum of the earth. She eventually broke up with me after sending me multiple voice messages of her crying.

Her behavior really rubbed me the wrong way. So reddit am I the asshole? I know I'm not infact I KNOW that she was the one being an entitled asshole.

🥒 u/peerlesscucumber replying to u/Luo_Binghe

Hi guys! I'm the roommate Bingmei is talking about here! So I didn't expect to find my roommates reddit account through this sub reddit haha! I was even more shocked when I read the comments calling him an asshole. Reading his post it might sound like he is but he really isn't. He has been crying to me for days what his ex-girlfriend did really broke his heart. Bingmei and I were just following our years long tradition! He tried to reject her when she asked to be his valentines but she kept pushing him and breaking his boundaries! I too had to reject a couple of women asking to be my valentine this year, you guys wouldn't be calling me an asshole for that would you?

😈 u/Luo_Bingge replying to u/peerlesscucumber

wait..? You has other people asking you out?

✈️ u/AirplaneShootingTowardsTheSky replying to u/peerlesscucumber

HOLD ON YOURE THE ROOMMATE!? PEERLESSCUCUMBER MY BIGGEST ANTI-FAN IS THE ROOMMATE?

SCREAMMMM HES SO TERRIBLE..

Okay but Shen Yuan always misunderstood Binghe prioritizing him and pushed him towards chasing girls so it would be more like

Shen Yuan: Binghe maybe you should spend Valentines with your girlfriend? This is so sweet of you to do, but you can't give up on your love life because of me. We can do this the day after Valentine's!

Binghe: No uh actually she said she hates valentines. Because it's commercialized and not about love. So we don't have plans

Shen Yuan: oh, okay!

Then they listen to her voicemails and Shen Yuans like "unbelievable! If she did want to do something for Valentines, why not just say so instead of playing these mind games!? You dodged a bullet, Binghe!"

[genderqueerdykes]

I’m not homophobic, but your bio is really confusing me…

If you can do that, can you break it down for me? Explain it like I’m five, iykwim (i just discovered that im abrosexual so im kinda new to the whole lgbtqia+ schtick)

yeah sure!

I'm intersex and have a complicated identity because of it. i don't fit into just one box, i fit into multiple queer identities. I've had to transition into gender itself, as an intersex person, because I've been told I'm "too masc to be a woman" and "not a real man". i haven't been allowed to be a man OR woman for most of my life, I've had to transition into gender itself

I'm bigender, and im a woman and and a man at the same time. both my manhood and womanhood are trans identities because I've had to transition into both. im also both transfeminine and transmasculine, for the same reason. they don't cancel each other out, or anything like that. I've had to transition into masculinity and femininity as well, as both have been held away from me just out of arm's reach

I'm a multigender butch lesbian! there's no rules that state that lesbians can't have more than one gender, and can't be men. many lesbians are also men. many transmascs start in the lesbian community and like to stay there because it still suits them. for me, ive always resonated with lesbianism. the way i love other people is very sapphic. i dont have to change the words i use for myself because people believe lesbians can't be trans or multigender. there's no rules. a lesboy/guydyke is a lesbian who's also a man or vibes with manhood

I'm also a gay man, which is why i also identify as a fag. I'm both a gay man and a lesbian at the same time, and i really resonate with both the terms fag and dyke. they both suit me! I'm bisexual, because i have 2+ modes of attraction. gayness and lesbianism are 2 different modes of attraction i experience

I'm genderqueer. I'm not a gender conforming man or woman. im a feminine man and a masculine woman. i do not fit into binary manhood and womanhood. the term non binary doesn't suit me. it doesn't feel good when applied to myself, but genderqueer is perfect!

im aromantic and on the asexual spectrum. i do not like romance or romantic relationships at all. i dont experience crushes or the desire to cuddle, kiss, go on dates or anything else associated with romance. I'm also on the ace spectrum. i don't get horny when i see attractive people. and i do not want to have sex with them. i can find people attractive but I don't want to have sex about it

hope that helps somewhat! it really isnt that confusing at all once you realize you can do what you want forever. queer identities don't have to make sense. they're identities, not scientific theories. queer people are as broad and varied as anyone else! the definitions of queer identities are suggestions, not boxes to shove people into

[tmasc-confessions]

I do not feel safe in the trans/queer dating scene at all. I've been assaulted multiple times by cis people and transfeminine people at equal rates. I've rarely been believed, and after talking about one of my assaulters, was repeatedly asked if I'm just trying to 'unperson' my ex, (because she was a trans girl).

Theres this idea that trans men can only be assaulted by cis men, but thats not true. I do not feel at home in my community. I constantly see dykebreaking, boybreaking, fake boy, ftm humiliation posted all the time, and while I'm not one to judge people's kinks the constant untagged rape fantasies has started becoming overwhelming.

I feel like there is no universe in which i can have a vagina and not be sexualised for it but I'm terrified of bottom surgery.

I just want this stupid bullshit to end, I need help and I probably won't ever get it because i'm too much of a coward to do anything but stealth, because i feel like the second someone finds out I have a vagina I'll get assaulted again.

Because of this stupid fucking fear I can't get the support i need from other trans people. I feel like I'm hiding a shameful secret, when its just typical transmasc anatomy.

I feel what you mean, the “-breaking” posts are absolutely disgusting and, imo, just plainly misogynistic and/or transandrophobic (why is still partially misogyny, but, y’know, important distinction I feel). I’d recommend you use the Tumblr word filtering system (not the tagging one!), since maybe that could help you not see them as often?

As for the nobody believing you thing… unfortunately, I’ve been in that exact situation. All I could say is that if the people you surround yourself with are so deep in identity politics that they refuse to acknowledge that she hurt you like that, it might be worth trying to find new friends.

[charmed-redemption]

" I guess I never thought about it."

The kisses made Rico smile a little more, and he felt the love in the kisses. Each one was a new declaration of love and devotion which Rico willingly accepted and made the case of the alpha more. He had never really thought of sharing his room with anyone as it was his private retreat. The house was big enough for multiple people and it housed them. The pair were getting along now and seemed to be dating exclusively so it was worth consideration.

"Though you pretty much stay here anyway. With your abnormally long ruts and nights keeping me safe from attacks."

The naked alpha, with its radiating power, knew how to manipulate him. The kisses made it hard to see the man's body, which would have forced him into agreeing from the start. Yet the way his power radiated through the room, he was making his point clear. He wanted to be at Rico's side, elevating their relationship to a new level. The conversation was likely to be a long one, much like other parts of the wolf's body, which he enjoyed seeing and feeling.

UDW: Faction Wars

[ask-pomni-things]

U-uh- hi-!

I'm Pomni, at least... that's my new name.

Caine said this was for an adventure... it's not as bad as going to literal hell, but it's close.

—————————————

The other cast is here if you want to see them too-? including Caine...

Ragatha ♡ — @ask-ragatha-tadc

Another Ragatha I interact with sometimes — @sweetragdoll

Jax — @ask-jax-the-rabbit

...More Jax's, I guess. — @ask-jax-things & @ask-bnuuny-tadc

Zooble — @zooble-the-whatever-i-am

Gangle — @ask-gangle-blog

Kinger — @asksuperlightextras (old account: @askkingerthings )

Queenie — @askthequeen

Caine — @ask-teeth-eyes

Gummigoo ☆ — @ask-gummigoo

—————————————

I have some other people I interact with that are cool... for the most part?

Friends — @shortmomma1993 & @hophopscotch

... "grandma", I guess. — @pakodelfandom

My (informally) adopted kid, bucket(and others, I think?) — @bubble-trubble-and-co

((ooc intro & rules under cut))

—————————————

Hello~!

welcome to the ask blog I made to feed my hyperfixation on these silly little characters!!

☆ You can call me Oreo, my main blog is @or3oartz ! ☆

I post a lot of tadc fanart, so if you're interested in that, go check me out <3 I also sometimes draw things based on the ask blogs just for the fun of it!

there are other ask blogs not listed here, which you can find on THIS POST!

From this point forward, when I'm making ooc posts/ comments on posts I'll speak like ((this))

I use "he/they" pronouns, if you're referring to me, please use them!!

—————————————

Few headcanons to be made clear!!

Pomni is biromantic asexual. But currently identifies as queer, she hasn't figured herself out yet :]

She's not a kid person, the only exceptions are Bucket and Ariah (only relevant to the blog)

Pomni's favourite animals are rabbits. (not connected to Jax./srs )

Pomni doesn't hate anyone, she may strongly dislike people, but in the end she'd still help people. They're all stuck in here together.

—————————————

Rules! ♡

Some rules(and boundaries) to be aware of!

No nsfw at ALL! we're a family friendly establishment!!

Absolutely NO bigotry is allowed! (so no racism, sexism, LGBTQ-phobia, etc.)

Ships are allowed! You can mention them! (except pomni may not give your preferred response... so be warned.) The main ship here is JesterDoll, but I also ship funnybunny so little implications may be made/joked about by me. :] Does she like Jax? you'll never know...

Only 1 image/gif per ask! if you're sending art that isn't yours, credit the OG artist/state it's not yours!

DON'T SEND LINKS! Even YouTube links!

don't be overly mean/rude. That's JAX'S job 😒 (/j) (seriously though, there's enough hate right now)

Remember NONE OF THIS IS CANON! I'll reference the canon show, but this blog is NOT affiliated with Glitch Productions or Gooseworx in any way!

Don't dm me. Don't dm this blog, don't dm my other blogs. The only exception is if it's IMPORTANT! (ex. warning me about problematic people) It makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Only send asks related to the blog please. And don't send multiple asks for a conversation, just reblog.

If I don't answer your ask/reblog, please do not go out of your way to get me to answer!

NO MORE HAMSTER POMNI. That got old FAST. 😭

Don't try to date Pomni?? Use character AI or something 💀 Also stop "kidnapping" her.

If misuse your anon privileges, I WILL turn it off. I'm serious.

Failure to follow these rules will get your ask deleted, and possibly blocked. You only get ONE warning.

[strngegirl]

a/n: an intermission for the other thing im working on (my first request giggles) because it'll take a while with how hectic my life is rn <\3 // just trying to get my head back in the writing game so this isn't too stimulating (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)

cw: gn!reader x choso, angst i think, mildly suggestive (mentions of sex), reader cheats on husband with choso, choso doesn't care, choso really loves reader, reader doesn't love him like that, choso is pathetic and a little sad, choso pov.

wc: somewhere around and a little over 1k i think?

❝Hold me, console me, and then I'll leave without a trace.❞ ——— THE MARÍAS, 'NO ONE NOTICED'.

Winter, the coldest season all year round. A season where snow falls, children get giddy about the fact that Santa will break into their house and gift them their dream presents for being a 'good kid' this year, people get ready for the epilogue of yet another year. Basically, it's a season that's celebrating the end of the year, and the start of a new one.

But Choso finds that he feels rather empty, despite all the activities he's doing with his brothers.

He doesn't wanna blame you, but... He's acutely aware the reason why he's feeling so down is because of you.

After Yuki told Choso to go live as a human, you were the first human connection he made. He went to a bar to try out alcohol, and then you slid into the seat next to his, introducing yourself. Conversation with you flew smoothly like silk, and even with his lack of understanding of everything in general, you were so patient with him. You didn't ridicule him, you didn't mock him, you taught him. What Choso didn't know, you explained. He liked that you treated him as an equal that just has a lot of questions, and you didn't look at him weirdly nor belittle him like some other people he's interacted with prior.

That's also one of the reasons why he followed you home, so enamored with you he hardly notices the framed pictures of you and a man together hanging in the corridors of your home, or the shiny ring on your finger even as you used that same hand to undress him. All he can focus on is your gentle voice telling him what to do, and your soothing touches that gives him the most pleasure he has ever felt. He let you take his first, let you see him so vulnerably in all his naked glory because he thinks he might be in love. It's foolish, he knows; he doesn't even understand what love is, but with his understanding of it, he knows he feels something for you. Choso doesn't care about the fact you guys just met, he cared about the pleasant scorching sensation you make him feel.

He kept in contact with you, never got mad even when you ghosted him occasionally, although it does make him feel vaguely sick, he doesn't mind. Because it's you. And he gets to share a bed with you when you reply to him sometimes; be it for sex, an ear to listen to or just some company, he'd be there. Anything for you.

And it stays that way even when he finds out that you have a husband. It should make him back off, really, but the thought that even when you're bound to another, you still wanted him made him feel so special. After knowing, he listens to you ranting to him about how your husband goes away for long periods of time and hardly ever pays you the attention you need, and from what you've told him some other times, he doesn't think your husband deserves you. If anything, he thinks he can find a better ring for you, replace the one currently locked around your ring finger like a leech.

But you always avoided any topic involving taking your relationship any further.

Choso tried to take you on a date, of course. Multiple times, actually. His pleas for you to accept always goes on deaf ears, or you just shut it down with a detached "I'll have to take a rain check". He hates it. He wants to go out with you, hold hands with you and do all the things he sees couples do. But you refused to leave your husband, and you don't want to be caught cheating which is terribly ironic because you shamelessly invite him over almost three times each week. It's okay though, he'll listen to you if it means he can stay. Even if it hurts him inside.

It's been approximately four months since he first met you and began this repeated song and dance, and right now he's back in your bed all over again. Both of you lie there underneath the covers on your marital bed, basking in the post coital bliss he's been addicted to ever since the start. The hum of the heater inside your room being the only noise filling the silence that has fallen between you two.

Choso has his head on your chest, his ears pressed against your warm, sticky skin as he listens to the thud of your calming heartbeat. It's music to his ears, one he can listen to for eternity if you'd allow him to.

And as always, he's the one breaking the silence. Because you wouldn't.

"[Name]?" He asks quietly, wide eyes looking up to your face he finds himself loving.

You hum in acknowledgment, fingers meandering through his hair.

"Can we attend the Christmas festival together?" Choso asks you on a date. Again. Despite knowing the answer—

"No, I'm sorry. You know I can't."

—he'd still ask. He still holds onto that sliver of hope, that one in a million chance where you'd say yes to him.

He deflates at the response he had expected, his face slowly turning down to hide into your chest again. And again, it's fine. He doesn't mind.

"I love you." He whispers those three words for the first time ever. He wasn't sure if it'd make you mad or... Or happy. He wishes it would make you happy. Because he knows if you said that to him, he'd be very happy.

Choso feels you tense the moment he utters those words, and as he waits with bated breath for you to reciprocate his words—nothing.

It's okay. As long as you continue to keep him around, he'll be content with you turning him down every time he tries to show you how in love he is with you.

Because you make him feel human.

[milkywaybesties]

i wrote. many words. help. 1299. uhhhh

here you go! take some lhsau gay people! (more below the cut)

Jimmy was staring.

He couldn’t help it. Him and Scott were eating lunch, sitting where they normally did in the grass outside the school. Normally, no one else was around, but today some of the other kids were messing about outside. Skizz, BigB. And Tango.

The three were playing some game with sticks on the floor while they ate their lunches. Or at least that was Jimmy’s theory. He couldn’t see very well from where he was. Or maybe he could, if he had actually been paying attention. Instead, he was mesmerized by something else.

Tango was laughing.

And maybe, it wasn’t that normal that Jimmy was distracted so easily by one of his friends laughing. But Tango’s laugh just made him happy. The giant, unapologetic grin that came with it. The mischievous look on his face as he took the pile of sticks Skizz had accumulated. 

So maybe Jimmy was staring. Maybe it might’ve seemed weird. But Tango was never just some friend anyway. They were his rancher! One of his best friends. And sure, maybe when the two were squished together on the couch at the Halloween party, and he could feel just how warm Tango was, Jimmy was panicking a little bit, but that didn’t mean—

“Hello? Earth to my wonderful boyfriend?” A hand waived in front of his face. 

Jimmy turned to look at his partner. “Huh?”

Scott let out a light laugh and asked, “You haven’t been listening to a single word I’ve said, have you?”

“No, no, I was listening! You were saying, uhm… ah.”

“Uh huh,” Scott responded knowingly, “So, you and Tango, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Jimmy tried to play it off. How was he supposed to tell his boyfriend that he might’ve been crushing on another man? Really, Jimmy wasn’t being a good partner. Being mesmerized by someone else’s laugh. Sure, Tango was great, but Jimmy loved Scott too much to be acting like this. Like a cheater.

“You should ask him out. He’s cute. And a nice guy,” Scott suggested.

Jimmy was flabbergasted. Scott seemed genuine. But what sane person would tell their partner to ask another person out? He must have been joking. Or teasing.

But Scott never did seem sane anyway.

“Yeah, yeah…” Jimmy laughed, playing it off again, treating it as the joke it surely must have been.

“If you don’t ask him out I will,” Scott said deadpan, before seeing the confused look on his boyfriend’s face and continuing, “I’m serious. You ask him out or I will. I’ll get the bragging rights.”

“Wh- But, we’re already dating. What do you mean ‘ask Tango out?’”

“Well. You like Tango, clearly. I’m pretty confident he likes you back. So you should ask him out.”

Jimmy thought he understood now. This must be some sort of test. If he agrees, Scott breaks up with him.

Scott, clearly sensing his discomfort, asked a question with a smile on his face.

“Jimmy, do you know what polyamory is?”

“I think I’ve heard the word,” Jimmy answered, “But I’m not sure what it means. I think Joel said something about polyamory at one point?”

“Joel is definitely polyamorous,” Scott confirmed, “The man has some sort of harem, I swear.”

“What… what is polyamory?”

Scott’s smile widened. “Someone who is polyamorous is basically someone who wants to date multiple people at the same time,” he explained, “I’m polyamorous. I’ve had crushes while in relationships, and while I’ve never ended up dating two people simultaneously, I have considered it. And it seems like you might be, too.”

“Oh,” Jimmy responded, one sound worth a million thoughts and questions, “So… I’m allowed to like both you and Tango?”

“Definitely,” Scott reassured, “Actually, it might simplify things for the two of us a little bit. I love you, Jimmy, and I like Tango, too.”

“Really?” Jimmy said, shocked.

“Mhm,” his partner nodded, “He’s actually really cute.”

Jimmy sighed, “Right?! I swear, he laughs and I just… deflate.”

“Seriously,” Scott laughed.

“So,” Jimmy rerailed the conversation, “I might be… polyamorous?”

“Yes,” Scott said, “And if you want to date other people at the same time as me, I’m fine with it. As long as there is some discussion between us first.”

“Of course,” Jimmy agreed, “And… you can date other people too. That sounds good to me.”

The two were giggling at the awkward tone of Jimmy’s words when they heard an approaching voice.

“Hey guys!” Tango said with cheer, carrying his pile of sticks in his arms, “What are you two lovebirds talkificating about?”

“Oh, I was just explaining the concept of polyamory to Jimmy,” Scott said, with no shame.

“Scott! That was a private conversation!”

“Mhm,” he hummed in faux sympathy. “Anyway, Tango, what have you been up to?”

“Oh, we were gambling with sticks,” they said excitedly, “I won! If you can’t tell.”

“Oh, good job!” Scott began to subtly elbow Jimmy in the side, “What does winning sticks get you anyway?”

“Why, bragging rights of course! Also Skizz is driving me home for a month now. Of course, he would’ve done that anyway, but it’s funnier to say that it’s for the bet.”

“It always is,” Scott agreed, “But I would’ve gambled for something better. Maybe his firstborn.”

“Y- Yeah,” Tango laughed. “Problem is I’m basically Impulse and Skizz’s firstborn, so that would be a bit problematic.”

“Fair point,” they agreed, before turning the conversation in a completely different direction. “Jimmy has a question to ask you.”

“I do?!” Jimmy yelped. Scott looked at him expectantly. “Uhm- right, yeah! Tango, did you ever figure out what problems the math homework was supposed to be?”

“Oh yeah, I think it was—” Tango started to respond, before Scott cut him off.

“That was not the question I meant actually,” they corrected.

“Well, I’ve got no idea what question you do mean, then,” Jimmy lied. He was not asking Tango out. No way.

“Well, I’ll ask it then,” Scott said. “Tango, do you want to go out with me sometime?”

“Scott!” Jimmy shouted, panicked.

“Wh- huh?” Tango stammered, “Aren’t- aren’t you two- datificating? What do you mean? Me going out with you?”

“We are,” Scott said, “But we want to date you, too. Right, Jimmy?”

Jimmy realized they were too far into this to back out without making it worse. “Yeah, we would,” he admitted nervously, “You’re— you’re a really cool guy, Tango, and I didn’t know polyamory was a thing until like five minutes ago, but now that I know I can like you without feeling bad about it because of my relationship with Scott, I think— yeah.”

Tango seemed shocked and flustered.

“And I think you’re cute, too,” Scott flirted shamelessly, “I may not be as close with you as Jimmy is, but I can appreciate a kind and handsome person when I see one.”

Tango was blushing bright red now. Jimmy could almost feel the heat coming off of him. “You guys, you two— datificaters— want me to date you too?” After receiving two very eager nods, he continued, “I- I’d like that I think. I’ve liked you two for a while now, but I didn’t know if either of you was polyamorous, or if you liked me like that anyway, but if you are, and if you do… I think we could. Do something sometime.”

“Yeah!” Jimmy said excitedly, “We could… uhm. I’m not that great at date ideas.”

“We can figure something out,” Scott said, the bell ringing, signifying the end of lunch, “But for now, can we agree that the three of us can go out together sometime?”

A resounding and excited “Yes” came from his two companions, with wide smiles on their faces, before the three headed their separate ways to class, fantasizing about the date to come.

[theserenadeofshadows]

I see free creators stop. I see Simmers leave because of changes in the community they couldn't stand anymore. People feel socially excluded or unseen (comments DO matter).

We are the change and could guide our community in a different direction, the desire is there, as I see people speak up everytime something happens and that and action takes place. That honestly is amazing. However, after that action and when time passes, nothing really changed. It gets brushed off easily. The creator still get paid and/or has their numbers without changing themself. Most of the time it even increased.

If EA ToS can't guide us well, we should do it on our own. What do we want in this community? What do we tolerate? Please let your fellow Simmers know, what is your dream and safe-haven community like?

Breaking a cycle can be hard, but it isn't impossible. We can't stop all creators from recycling/reuploading EA content nor can we stop unreasonable Early Access time, but we can make it more unnatractive for creators to try. Which we should try. Calling someone out isn't good enough and I fear it is mostly brushed of by some creators, because they get money anyways and it will pass (without consequences).

Don't want to support certain behavior? Unsubscribe. Hit them where it hurts: numbers or income. Our pledges are intended as support to our fellow creators, to show our appreciation, Early Access can be great for that - if it is reasonable (and not €100+ for example). It is for those who are worth our money. Our pledges aren't owed, they are granted.

So take action if you see behaviour you don't want to support or feed.

• Unsubscribe/unfollow if someone has a permapaywall.

• Unsubscribe/unfollow if the Early Access is unreasonable.

• Unsubscribe/unfollow if you don't like it that someone puts event/holiday related content behind a Early Access that passes the date of said event/holiday.

• Unsubscribe/unfollow if the content exists of a barely edited/copy of an EA mesh (multiple times) behind a paywall. Free EA edits? Sure. Paying for what we already have? No thank you.

• Unsubscribe/unfollow if someone treats you like shit or makes you feel worthless, like a cashcow or like dirt. Why would you stay???

• Unsubscribe/unfollow if someone.... (fill in the blanks for yourself).

Don't forget 13 year olds also play this game, would you let them pay for a perma paywall, 2+ month early access or insanely high prices? They are senstive for hypes (like many others). Content should be availabe for free after a reasonable time.

We can change it even if it isn't immediate change, some things go slower, but if we all follow the standards we have set for ourself what we tolerate and don't, creators will have to adjust eventually.

Don't reward behaviour you don't like. Support what you want to see.

Early Access itself isn't bad and the problem, it the behavior of the creator and what they do with it... what we continue to tolerate while we actually (not so secretly) don't.

The Simblr Cycle

Paid creator acts up for the 19348th time, site-wide outrage

Everyone pissed off about paid creator

Vague appreciation posts for free CC creators (but they still get fuck-all in terms of reblogs or exposure)

Everyone points out the fact there are places to get this paid CC for free

Paid creator releases new set, gets thousands of reblogs and everyone is putting it on their sims and in their houses and on their Simblrs and basically doing free advertising

Free CC creators go back to getting fuck-all in terms of interaction

The rest is under the cut.

For a site full of people obsessed with the ideal of a person who does no wrong, y’all are sure as shit in love with the people who cannot do anything right whilst the good folk get bugger-all!

When do people stop paying shitty creators and when do these same people stop freely advertising for them as well? 💀 And when it comes to when they fuck up, you know what they say about there being no such thing as bad pubilicity. There’s no way these people will actually be booted from the community because of the price tag making it look more special and desirable, and because people refuse to check out places like Rebels and DHM where you can get all this shit for free.

They can do whatever the fuck they like at this point because the callouts will only summon their white-knights and the rightful reblogged callouts and warnings will only get them more advertising - because most people only care about pretty desirable things and for whatever reason will gladly tolerate shitty business practices from these people.

So many decent folk and passionate folk in this community get nothing except empty vague mass reblogged messages about how much people love their creations whilst the scamming cunts get all the constant attention and advertisement. And all free creators get is pitiful exposure, none of the excited ‘look at this cool CC so and so made!’ and all they get is taken advantage of by paid creators. Don’t be surprised if even more free creators like myself leave the community because they’re tired of it. Scammers in the Simblr or wider CC community and thieves have fucked this up for everybody. Paid content has ruined the TS4 community, but at the same time the whole community almost revolves around it despite it.

Everyone talks about how people making stuff for free or just doing stories and challenges are the backbone of this community and then it entirely becomes about the paid creators. Again. And again and again and again, and it’s never-ending.

EDIT: Please stop following my account since I am a retired creator who doesn’t upload anymore. I appreciate it but I am no longer posting Sims content to my blog. You are welcome and encouraged to reblog my Gaza / Sudan fundraisers reblogs however.

The funny part is, I got more notes on this one rant post in 3 days than I did across most of my actual Sims content for months, with the exception of 1 or 2 semi-popular pose packs, lmao. Like I said, paid creators run the place at this point. This entire community revolves around paid creators and awful business practice and behaviour now, and with TS5 cancelled they’re here to stay for a much longer time than we’d hoped for. Good luck to all of the gameplayers, storytellers and free creators. You’re going to need it.

[coffeeviolinist]

Y’know I was staying silent about this before but I’m just going to come out now and say it: the way Azusa is written these days makes it really, REALLY hard to like her.

And that sucks because I used to love her when she was just a fun background character working a minimum wage job who happened to pop up every once in a while. Unfortunately, that isn’t how she’s being written these days.

Sure, she’s still sweet and all. But a big part of her character these days is being Amuro’s not-girlfriend - or, more specifically, how she always has to act all bothered about the fact that people keep shipping her with him. She even said, and this is a direct quote, “if someone like me was seen with Amuro-san, it would be hot gossip all over the internet”.

For one, I find it hard to buy that because a potential relationship between two waiters of all people being gossiped about “all over the internet” is just not something that happens no matter how attractive one of them is. Most people have better things to worry about than whether the people serving them their coffee are dating each other - yes, even high school girls.

For another, and this is really the crux of the matter, if Azusa is actually as bothered as she says about the possibility that people would see her with Amuro and jump to conclusions about them…well, you’d think she would also recognize that there’s an obvious solution, right? All she has to do is not go out in public with Amuro, and she won’t be inadvertently fueling any potential rumors. Problem solved!

Except, well, for all her talk about how she doesn’t want to be shipped with Amuro and how much it bothers her that everyone is supposedly gossiping about her online, Azusa has still gone out alone with Amuro in public multiple times. At this point, it’s honestly starting to make her look like a pick me. She’s starting to feel like one of those girls who talk about how “gross” it is that they keep getting shipped with their guy friend but actually not-so-secretly really, really want everyone to assume they’re dating.

Of course, the Doylist explanation for all of this is that Gosho is just using Azusa as a mouthpiece for a cheap ship bait joke. The problem is that (at least from what it seems) he’s approaching this entirely from a Doylist perspective and isn’t considering how it actually looks from a Watsonian perspective.

It’s probably also his inability to write women coming through yet again. Like yes, of course women and girls are all a bunch of catty bullies who go around saying horrible things about other women on social media for no reason other than the fact that these women have attractive coworkers. It’s not like women have better things to worry about, no, our only concern is competing with each other for male attention 💕. Our one and only goal in life is to be someone’s wife 💕💕💕.

Just. Ugh. Azusa is a perfect example of why some background characters should just stay background characters, especially since Gosho can’t write women for shit.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

RM's Career Reading

I am quite excited to get to his reading, since I haven't done much on him. I find him to be an interesting person. Kind of sad I don't get much requests for him, but anyway, he seems eager to talk from the card flying out the way they did, so glad to give him a chance. Also, these cards look quite interesting.

So, the first card I pulled for his energy is Fire. He is a very passionate and creative person. I see him thinking of a lot of musical ideas for when he gets out of the Military. I just see it all boiling up within him and he is ready to release it. This kind of makes me excited for what he has in store.

Okay, so with this Fire and energy and rebel energy. I can see him being frustrated and how the company is going about things. I can kind of see him fighting against it or going against them, will he put that in his music, like in a lowkey way, hint at the shitty company he is part of. I see him going against the status quo or the institution. He seems pretty fired up about it.

Now, Namjoon is a great businessperson, so I see him going about things in a business manner. He takes his time, does things bit by bit, doesn't rush too quickly. I see him being smart about things. He does his due diligence before doing anything. He doesn't act rashly. Why do I feel he is giving someone business advice, I also got legal advice, who that is I don't know. Namjoon is a dependable person, a steady rock through it all. The word serendipitously popped up, it means to be somewhere by chance and it benefits them or being at the right place at the right time. I guess he has that energy.

Namjoon is someone who is a sweetheart. Someone who wants to shield and protect others from harm, so I see him offering advice. I see him on the phone talking to people, but also giving advice, not sure if it is the members or people in the company or people he knows. Dude is crazy smart and strategic. I see him wanting to watch over and protect others from harm. I feel there is someone he is connected with that is updating him on what is going on and keeping him up to date. I just see this back and forth, is it multiple people or just one person?, not sure.

I see him not liking the callus nature of the industry, the drama, the competition and the fights going on. He is so done with it. He seems emotionally numb by this as well. I see him wanting people to be paid fairly. To be treated fairly. To maybe be treated like human beings. I see him wanting to be of service to others as well and wanting to help others get their just do or fair treatment or get paid like they should. He may feel this way about him and the members.

He believes the environment is toxic af. Yo, I am hearing devil worshippers da fu**. He is going hard here. He doesn't like that these people are too in their head, materialistic, I heard perverted, not sure what he means by that, it could mean perversion, they have an altered view of things or go about things differently, but in a twisted way. He may not like that. He just doesn't like how they do things, meaning the company/institution. I do feel I am stepping into something because I don't feel the best right now, but the extra protections I have are helping, but going to keep moving as quickly as I can.

I see him having an idea or plan, or he is having talks with others to do something, but nothing really concrete or anything formulized. It is like he has an idea, putting it out there, having talks, but it is in the beginning stages. It is like he is trying to figure out how to go about things.

Side note, fu** these companies for doing their magic spells from stopping readers from seeing your messed up sh** This isn't even about privacy, ya'll are messed up and want to hide it, that is it. But I feel most these idols higher selves want to communicate, but shady companies do whatever they can to block it, by sending negative entities to us and making us feel like sh**. I ain' t cool with this, ya'll lucky I have more protection now, sorry but these companies piss me off. These companies have a right to hide their shit, but my ass will spill your tea, so fu** you. You can't push your idols out there for money and prostitute them, yeah I said it, and then expect people to not want to learn more about them. You can't have it both ways, how about don't do shady stuff and there is no problem. End rant lol

Anyway, he wants to defend his ideals and maybe communicate what is happening, but I am not seeing it actually happen. I also wonder if he leaks information. I am seeing that too, like anonymously through a source, is he that source?, like he is offering up some information, but not all though, just bits of pieces. This is interesting, ya'll he is so interesting, like why do people not find him interesting or ask about him?

This divine intervention card is interesting, it is like on a spiritual or on a universal level things are aligning for him, like whatever happens from now on is what is right for him, it is like the universe is going to help him out in some way. They are also calling him to stand strong in his beliefs, stay grounded and steady. That no matter what happens if he stands strong, he will get through the storm. He has to believe in his ability to lead others out of it, but to lead himself.

Okay, that was a whirlwind, but his career reading was one of the most interesting to me, up there with Yeonjun. I wish him the best on his endeavors. And can't wait for his perspective reading.

[clementinecalls]

teen wolf needed more polyamory i think

[mangle-my-mind]

feeling an intense urge to be dating and to meet cute people and to kiss someone. but also scared and lazy and don't actually want to go through the process

[navree]

unfortunately the percy jackson show means percy jackson discourse which means i once more have to see dogshit takes about rachel elizabeth dare, who did literally nothing except have a relationship with a boy she liked for a couple months, but the freaks are at it again because there's no worse crime in the world than being a girl getting in the way of a ship for a nanosecond

[sonknuxadow]

sorry but im like the worlds biggest hater when it comes to future/next gen au stuff for sonic characters . and its not that i have an inherent problem with people doing those types of aus/stories its just that i havent seen many people do it in a way that isnt boring and also actually fits the characters. like they either make almost everyone cishet and go with all the "default" ships and/or put most if not all the characters in a married with kids situation even if it doesnt fit them or something else would be more interesting. and they also just completely ignore the concepts of adoption or single parents or people who just dont want to get married or have kids . and its like why are you all so boring with this why do you insist on shoving everyone into little nuclear family boxes even if it doesnt work for them as a character especially when non traditional family situations are such a common thing in sonic come on

and i think that out of all the characters sonic is one of the ones who gets it the worst with this sort of thing. with the way he acts in canon having him "settle down" into a "traditional" married with kids lifestyle once hes an adult feels like the most forced and out of character thing ever. he would not fucking say that etc etc