#i want him to be extremely fucked up
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Tadc..... dinosaurs.... tadc dinosaurs
#returning to my roots with this one#proud of the fact that i was able to draw anthro dinos w out fucking it up somehow#finallyyyy#my art#pomnis a dryo cuz theyre smaller and have round features w out being too weak hahhha#jax is a galli cuz theyre tall and are extremely annoying in this one game i play just like him<3 /pos#rags a mai cuz theyre so motherly#i mean the name literally means “good mother lizard”#gangles a psitt cuz they have an intersting face shape for a mask and are small#zoobles a pteranodon cuz they dont fit in not being dinos and everything#like how zooble doesnt fit in much cuz theyre a pile of parts rlly#kingers a camara cuz tall and silly looking /pos#caines a nanotyrannus cuz i wanted him to be a rex of sorts but not biiig#tadc#tadc art#dinosaurs#tadc dinos#the amazing digital circus#tadc fanart#tadc pomni#tadc jax#tadc ragatha#tadc zooble#tadc gangle#tadc kinger#tadc caine
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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anyone done this yet
#jamil viper#jamikali#implicitly. on account of only kalim can afford him#he deserves a parrot actually (derogatory)#i feel like a parrot would actually be the worst possible pet for him tho like#you really want to commit an entire human lifetime to babysitting this extremely demanding noisy little guy#that needs you to clean up its messes all the time and doesnt understand your emotions#and it wants to fuck you?#he already has that.
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"Is he called the 'Viper' because he bites people" -woman who likes to bite whatever she can and does not realize she's a vampire
"No, it's a figure of speech. He sounds irritating but is probably a good strategist" -military strategist many find irritating to deal with because mentally she never left The War
"Whoever made this corridor purple with nothing in it must be a terrible leader. You always need to think about morale" -the same woman, whose usual solution for low morale in her teammates is "stop whining. manager we should kill them"
"the sephirot should have just had a fistfight instead of badmouthing each other for eternity" -Outis again
"Hod is too overprotective" -you'll never guess
#limbus company#project moon#lobotomy corporation#don quixote#limbus company spoilers#outis#yesod#hod#sorry for yesodposting when he was literally the only asiyah sephirot to not get any new dialogue#malkuth in one uptie cutscene netzach in the other and hod in the main story...#i have a feeling theyre going to want to move on to briah soon which will be extremely sad for me#information team... save me.... information team... save me information team#shoutout to hod shooting sinclair and addressing him directly btw that was so funny#she wants to have a counseling session with him... i would write that fic if i had the ideas#she's sooo fucked up#where's that post i made during lobcorp i need to reblog it again#me post
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this isn't at all meant to be condescending or finger-waggy because 100% we all have blind spots like this, but I'm really, really hoping that the people who never found Gaiman's approach to his own fandom concerning in any way will take this all as a learning moment.
he was an older, hyper-famous author engaging directly and frequently with an online audience of largely vulnerable young marginalized people. he presented himself as cultured and worldly, and made himself approachable as someone to go to for advice, encouragement and "wisdom." his manner of speech was extremely pathos-heavy and clearly intended to be comforting and encouraging in exactly the way his target demographic needed it to be to swallow every word. the way he spoke about stories and creativity was designed to make young creative hopefuls feel special and important, while sweeping real analytical techniques under the rug - in hindsight, likely so no one would think too critically about the disturbing amount of patriarchal abuse played for cheap shock value and voyerism in his own body of works.
Gaiman saw a target demographic that was desperate for an older creative role model to tell them they were worth something, and he exploited that pain to twist a narrative around himself where he was king and any critique leveled at him or his works were the enemy.
to be clear, he could have been innocent. he could totally have been just an out-of-touch old man saying nice things to people because he wanted to be kind and he thought he was a lot smarter than he really was. red flags are warning signs, not a surefire way to tell if someone is actually "secretly shitty."
but if you used to look up to him, PLEASE take this moment to revisit the ideas you absorbed from him. did you take his words to heart because they seemed to have objective merit? or did you take them to heart because it felt good to believe what he said? do you still hold these values? does knowing he was intentionally manipulating his online audience make you less certain? do you need more information from a different source before deciding one way or another?
again, I'm just really, really hoping people on here will take a moment to reevaluate the ideas and opinions he's injected into tumblr fandom culture, because his reach is immense and he has absolutely been manipulating popular perception of relevant topics to gain further influence and control the narrative around both his own and Pratchett's legacy. please, please take this moment to notice what he's been doing - and next time someone tries to pull the same shit, hopefully we'll be able to apply what we've learned from experience.
#deerchatter#abuse cw#im going to be honest i came to hate him over his years on tumblr.#even if he'd done nothing wrong he was normalizing an extremely unhealthy relationship between a fandom and creator#and he always spoke with so much pathos and so little actual substance. he's an idiot desperate to seem smarter than he is#obvs didn't assume anything about his actual moral character but he sure was spreading some toxic ideas intentionally or not#absolutely heartbreaking and horrible that things turned out to be as bad as they were.#genuinely wrote this out because im hoping this can all AT LEAST make some people aware of the tactics he was using#so the next shithead celebrity who rocks up to social media with an agenda won't have as much reach#counting on people to read the best intentions into this post. i don't give a shit about celebrity drama i want people safe#edit: actually fuck it putting this in the tag#neil gaiman
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Is Wolf and / or Flowers in any kind of relationship? Aside from Flowers being madly in love with reckless fun, that is
No Wolf/Flowers unfortunately, the ship I have in mind is significantly more insane.
#fop nature au#suggestive#him and the bad bitch he pulled by having anti-social and violent tendencies#art#digital art#oc/canon#Flowers OC#dale dimmadome#body horror#candy gore#light guro#ask to tag#they despise each other#Sorry you have to see this#Im not a big shipper. Tbh I would argue this isnt even romantic#but it is undeniable to me that they have something#two fucked up old men incapable of love who consistently hurt everyone around them#They dont even know how to feel bad about it#They are both selfish awful people who desperatly want connection but are too selfish and awful to get it#Their relationship is like if a QPR was evil#I have a concerning number of characters with this exact dynamic Im starting to think it says something about me#I like fucked up characters who make each other worse and are extremely codependent ok!!
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I'd like to discuss the elephant in the room. Why did we get zero Loumand sex scenes? We got hints and implications, but season 1 was pretty explicit. Do we think that that's a creative choice or something else is happening?
I'm glad I ended up ruminating on this for about a week because episode 7 & 8 really solidified my opinion on it.
I do wanna start by saying that it's very clear to me that there was supposed to be more explicit scenes between them. There has been some thoughts tossed around that censorship happened with the 9 pm timeslot (as opposed to the 10 pm timeslot of S1). I believed this hearing Assad and Jacob talk about the BDSM dynamic between Louis and Armand, but what really sold me on this was Production Designer Mara LePere-Schloop talking about the bedroom set and more specifically about their beautifully carved custom headboard. (If you're a production nerd like me or just want to know more about the design philosophy of IWTV I recommend giving the entire thing a listen!).
I think there are several reasons I think as to why they decided to leave any more explicit scenes on the cutting room floor but above them all is: you cannot separate Armand's sexuality from his abuse. I am really against pulling a "well if you read the books" card but reading just the first couple chapters of "The Vampire Armand" makes me understand so much about not only Armand as a character, but the care being taken to his adaptation. It's clear to me that alongside Rolin & Co.'s commitment to not watering him down to a one-dimensional villain they are also trying to not fall into Anne Rice's tendency to romanticize his trauma.
Sex and sexuality is not the same pillar of Louis and Armand's relationship it was in Louis and Lestat's and so I don't believe their story suffers from the lack of on-screen sex. But I also firmly believe that maybe we don't need to be slutting out the character who we literally just watched talk about how he doesn't remember his life before being sex trafficked. And even when he was "freed" he was still being repeatedly assaulted at the hands of, and under the eye Marius de Romanus. Like it is extremely important to remember that Armand's craving for dominion in his relationships is a manifestation of trauma that deserves the same level of care and depth given to every other trauma portrayed in this show.
I think people have gotten too comfortable calling IWTV a romance when it has always been Gothic Horror. Romance and sex are pivotal to the story but I have found the demands for sex scenes this season a bit absurd and also? unfounded? Loustat share more kisses on screen but there are two sex scenes and both are very plot relevant. I truly figured we were all in agreement that the eroticism of this show is found in the various displays of power, and the dynamics it creates and not the actual clapping of ass-cheeks...which also wasn't happening in S1 either. S2 does not suffer because of the lack of sex-scenes, but the likelihood if it suffering trying to make one work is
#char.txt#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv meta#loumand#the vampire armand#armand#answered#I didnt bring it up here just because this is really an opinion peice#but jacob makes a good point about because this is an interview with them yk still as a couple its also about privacy#its also just not the part they are trying to sell them on Daniel knows they are fucking we all know they are fucking#theyre trying to show that this isnt the stepford wives (it is)#ive written this response like 3 times trying to remove my disgust at the fandom from it LOL#but the way people have talked about this with armand has...really rubbed me the wrong way#like the more i learned about him the more sinister it kind of felt to be like ''well why arent the fucking on every surface''#IDK if you want the extremely personal and petty take too i will gladly give that
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loop and mirabelle. That's it that's the ask
DAY 84: enrolled in the gossip wars
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#mirabelle isat#isat spoilers#vaguely. mostly for the tags#i think it'd be sooo funny if like. loop and mirabelle postcanon.#loop has rejoined the party somewhat recently and they are not at all adapting. to be honest. reunion probably happened too soon#bc they are a siffrin which means they are disgustingly sentimental. their ass is not taking the time to discover themself as a new person.#do you really think loop is gonna take their own advice.lol.#lmao even#Ok so anyways i think the party and loop would have a weird thing going on#like theyre all extremely grateful to loop. and they trust loop through the general basis of theyre apparently very dear to siffrin#but fucking nobody knows what to make of this bitch. odile knows they are hiding Something but she has no certain evidence to pin it down.#isabeau can't catch loop alone for more than 5 seconds. has the distinct sense they're avoiding him and he does not know why#bonnie....well tbh i think they'd vibe with loop. bonnie win.#mirabelle. i think she wouldn't really like loop? not at first anyways#do you remember in sasasap mirabelle telling siffrin(loop) that for a long time she thought they were a callous sort of person#bc they never took anything seriously at all. like the whole journey didnt mean anything. until they took an eye for bonnie#i think mirabelle would catch a similar vibe towards loop(lol.) bc like#like loop's main presence in the group is negging siffrin and being weird and dodgy around everyone else#i don't even think they'd be mean to the others but they would do everything in their power to throw the party zero bones#so all mirabelle has to go on for loop is that they're kind of a dickhead to her friend and that they're not receptive to normal group#social activities. i think being on the receiving end of mirabelle's kindness would make loop kind of sad and she'd pick up on it#but like. loop is inexplicably important to siffrin. she doesn't know the details bc neither of them want to talk at all about the loops#and i think siffrin would be especially dodgy abt talking about loop in the interrim between them rejoining and them being Presumed Dead#so mirabelle tries a new strategy to bridge the gap between her and loop. the power of Mutual Haterism#more specifically i think mirabelle would get the impression of loop as being much more of a bitch than they actually are#due to the aforementioned siffrin negging#so like. maybe that's just how they socialize maybe they'd be down to talk about hot takes and gossip a bit
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about that one lan qiren & jin guangshan art: .....does that mean wen ruohan has both or is he as flat as a board on the opposite? XD
Mans so flat they rotated him 90 degrees and he disappeared from the narrative.
#ask#blood#Source comic is no. 111 (in case people want to go back and see this one in context)#Really though. For a guy who caused a lot of problems in the world of MDZS he uh...really didn't have a lot of presence.#I could be wrong but as far as I recall he has two scenes and the second one is him getting stabbed.#By our sopping wet meng yao no less. Imagine being so terrifying and powerful and then MENG YAO kills you. Mister Dimples.#(Nie Mingjue gets a pass because Jin Guangyao is the evolved form. The more menacing schemer.)#WRH is a shadow character. Mostly mentioned in passing and accused of doing awful shit we don't see.#To the point I honestly thought that this was also part of the 'rumours vs truth' theme#and Wen Ruohan would end up being someone who had a lot more nuance to him.#I'd call it lost potential but honestly I forget he exists 99% of the time.#His lame ass son and his mistress are more compelling. Sorry Wen Ruohan likers - He is extremely paper thin.#So to answer your question: Happy flat fuck friday (ft. Wen Ruohan)
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One of the neat things about demon flirting versus human flirting is the opportunity for jealousy. Weird jealousy.
Bill complains to Dipper about a lot of things. How his day was going. About any plans that were foiled, if any. How dumb other beings are. But if, say, Bill started going on about this one real pest he's had hanging around lately, and how they're so irritating and getting in his way...
It is said that husbands gain a sixth sense upon becoming married. In Bill's case, it was actually his thirteenth - but when he notices Dipper’s gone oddly quiet, he hears the alarm bells ringing.
Oh, so this person, huh. Really irritating, Bill says. A thorn in his side, maybe? How annoying, exactly? Now Bill’s sweating as Dipper’s own annoyance rises. What, are they, like a new *nemesis* or something?
Now Bill’s on damage control duty as he reassures Dipper - entirely truthfully! - that he’s soooo infuriating and definitely the Worst Thing that's ever happened to him.
#these are just some thoughts I thunk#Bill’s all over Dipper as he calms his huffy husband#Don't be ridiculous sapling! *Nothing* could infuriate him like Dipper does!#He's the thorn in his side! The needle straight through his eye!#Nobody and nothing fills Bill with such a boiling desire to see him fall from his high horse and crush him like an ant#For all the clever and awful ways he thwarts his evil plans. the cutest worst person in the closest ninethousand dimensions.#All the while getting up in his face and grabbing at him while Dipper grumbles#Yeah well. Bill’s the absolute most vile jerk in *ten million* dimensions. Just the worst jerk.#Dipper wants nothing more than to kick him off the top of his dumbass pyramid and watch him dent all his angles on the way down#And with that there is a round of extremely sloppy makeouts#Cut to a regular human watching them with a complete 'what the fuck' expression#and a tired looking demon next to them going 'oh for crying out loud. GET A ROOM YOU TWO'
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ashton, so deep in the "unlovable" narrative they've forgotten about the MULTIPLE nights spent cuddling / literally making out with fearne, refusing to talk, wondering why something still feels off: I need to seduce her again
#'i want to hook up with this girl' EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER#i am beating him over the head#you are so fucking stupid babygirl#cr spoilers#critical role#callowmoore#yknow what they got to get their rocks off before the end of the world good for them
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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sometimes I see manga panels or anime screenshots of luffy and zoro being silly and I'm hit with the reminder that zoro not only believes his dream/ambitions mean nothing without luffy but that he's said this out loud. to an enemy, no less, as he chose to exchange his life for luffy's. that luffy himself would lose his absolute shit if something bad ever happened to zoro and the reason why luffy tends to worry less about and rely more on him is bc he knows how strong zoro is, can and will be and the lengths he'd go to protect others, especially the people he cares about, since this part of zoro's character is exactly what ultimately convinced luffy to recruit him in the first place. that even though zoro's the one with the grand gestures it likely means so much to luffy, who experienced tragedy early on and is afraid of losing those he loves to the point he vowed to become strong just to avoid so, the fact that zoro's such a steady presence and force beside him - one he can count on to keep everyone, and luffy too, safe. insane levels of devotion and trust going on between two dudes who shower once a week.
#zolu#tp#came back from a beach trip even more insane abt these two cheers#luffy's I need you and zoro's vow in opla are so perfect bc they straight up slap your face with how much#these two need and /want/ to stay with each other. literally together til fucking death#imagine what that's like for someone like luffy who's had ppl he loves leave him even if not by choice#bc external forces make them mostly#prying zoro away from luffy would take extreme circumstances like sabaody or luffy somehow deeply disappointing him#the latter of which luffy's proved he wouldn't do and the former is the reason why zoro bowed to his sworn rival#for the chance to become stronge enough to surpass even him. bc if zoro's stronger - the strongest - sabaody won't happen again#at least not if he can help it
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now that lestat had a successful one-sided beef with the switfies, can we manufacture some beef between him and the vampire band from chica vampiro that becomes real beef as soon as mirco gets actively involved because of course it would
#the way i can see him and mirco beefing rockstar to rockstar (they're both delusional and extremely annoying)#it would start off with either daisy randomly meeting him and him trying to be charming (which works) but also slightly creeping her out#and when she mentions meeting this dude at the vampi bar mirco would be like “wait...describe this mf to me” and when she does he just “‼️”#bc there's no fucking way that he was back#or lucia “overhears” some vampires talk about the comeback of this big star and when she asks about it mirco refuses to talk about him#both because he doesn't want her to get caught up with lestat but also because now HE'S the main rockstar boy#anyway she talks to zaira and she spills everything out#and after she (lucia) talks with the band about how they should ask lestat to have a fake beef between them#since they're both the most popular vampire musicians and this will only be a win-win#not even 24h later lestat and mirco (while being left unsupervised) starts having real twitter fights#and also slandering eachothers irl on both vampire and human interviews#interview with the vampire#chica vampiro#iwtv#amc iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#mirco vladimoff#daisy o'brian#vampire#vampires#supernatural
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Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.
Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.
Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.
Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).
It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.
The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.
A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.
Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.
The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.
It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).
This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.
To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.
Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.
They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).
In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.
#Their relationship is probably my favorite one in this story but there is literally so much going on. Hard to introduce it properly#This doesn't even get into all of it#Do want to make it clear that Brakul is like. Nice on an interpersonal level but he fucking sucks and is not the victim in this dynamic#He's very selfish. He builds his life around having his cake and eating it too and then moping and being sad and etc when he can't#escape the consequences of hurting people around him#I don't like writing dynamics where one person is like the absolute perfect innocent victim like. Hibrides does some just plain#cruel shit to him. But she's REALLY going through it. She's isolated and lonely and the only person in her life who has loved#her in the past decade won't put his own personal interests aside to actually Help Her. And then has the audacity to mope to her about#how sad that makes him.#He at least has a (fucked up and messy but) devoted partnership with a guy who ADORES him and perpetually enables him#While Hibrides is very shy and finds it hard to break out of isolation. She doesn't really have anyone to rely on.#She does have other people in her life in general though. Faiza has always been pretty kind to her and was a major support in#helping her manage her children's affairs and being provided for. But they aren't really friends it's kind of a familial obligation#Couya had been an enigma to her and rarely present (because she hates Janeys) but she's forced to be around him more#towards the start of the story and thus has started to actually interact with Hibrides. They befriend each other and have stuff going#on during the story#hibrides uryashta#brakul red dog#Anyway extreme side note I did warn that there would be like a dozen characters with Erub_ names as well as two major cities and a river#It gets like that with legendary founder figures
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i wish to be your shadow , forever behind you , even if i am not good enough
plus some extra. they are quite literally metal boxes. i wonder how large they are in actually. im assuming human size? i also never realized just how complicated hokma's was.. i think its all the gears
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#hokma#hokma lobcorp#ayin#ayin lobcorp#im always worried about ooc but then a realize. IT DOESNT MATTER!!! i want them to hug#but then i think abt it and i dont know how to draw hugs. does it matter? NO!! you can tell what it is . good enough#anyways tagging w ayin is always weird because its not QUITE him (from my understanding im not even done im on day 47(pain))#its a mix of consciousness between a blank slate who processes and feels things in a similar manner but then memories put onto him that --#-- logically are his but even then theyre seperate entetied in a way even still (angela noted this in one of the days cant remember which)#so its like.... x and a put into one . i thinkk where its going w it is that each are different aspects ended up experiencing and processin#this grief and hopelessness in different ways? and then ending up being assigned a name as a reflection of different aspects born of the --#-- character that was the entirety of 'ayin'. different aspects isolated via extreme measures when they are ALL ayin just... yknow extremes#FROM MY UNDERSTANDING DONT CORRECT ME IM NOT DONE!!! IM NOT DONE!!!! ITLL HAPPEN 98 HRS SO FAR TRUST#((well day 47 when i queued this to be posted .. hopefully ill be past that and with a acceptable death count))#(((I did btw what the fuck hatbthe fuck whayt hfbf ck)))#I FROGOY i#x lobcorp
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