#i want both of them to step on me
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LORD HAVE MERCYYYYY
#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#riddle rosehearts#leona kingscholar#azul ashengrotto#jamil viper#vil schoenheit#idia shroud#twst yuu#twst mc#i want both of them to step on me#lmao like father like son#twisted wonderland chapter 7#liia vanrouge got me in a chokehold fr#He's in his villain arc <3
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Sorry but Thra'lani (as a platonic and a romantic ship, tbh) has taken over my entire brain right now. They are sOoOooo- ahkajsjjdjssksjirjdjjrjsjfw.
#i want both of them to step on me#the bi panic is so real right now#thrawn and lani are giving old married couple vibes in treason#like: this is sO different to their ascendancy dynamic somehow but it's also similar if you know what i mean#anyway i am low key shipping them harder than i was before#:D#thra'lani#thrawn#ar'alani#hydro rambles#they are both bisexual to me and idc what anyone else here thinks
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finally drew clora and seb's kids!!🙌🙌
Celeste Sallow: OK THIS IS THE NAME IM SUPER PROUD OF BAHAHA because not only does the name celeste relate to the stars (in typical ravenclaw fashion...clora picked the name) but celeste sallow is also an alliteration. BUT, its an alliteration that begins with a C, which means clora gets to match with celeste in the form of both of their names starting with a C, whereas sebastian gets to match with celeste because both of their names are an alliteration/they're alliteration allies🥹ITS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!🥳
Lewis Sallow: as for lewis, if you've read my fic then you know that seb has a vendetta against names that start with an L bahaha, but 'lewis' was actually HIS idea. when celeste was born, seb wanted to find a muggle story to read to her, since clora's favourite story is ALSO a muggle one (sherlock), and he wanted to stick with tradition. so he ended up finding alice in wonderland, which he loved because of how adventurous and clever alice was and of how much she reminded him of clora and celeste (both personality and looks wise). it became his favourite for those reasons, to the point that when they had lewis, sebastian overcame his L-name hatred by naming their son after lewis carroll.
Houses: celeste could have been sorted into either gryffindor or slytherin, but ultimately ends up in slytherin because she wants to be like seb. kinda like how clora also probably could have been in gryffindor, tbh. as for lewis.....him being 10000% in ravenclaw doesnt need any explanation BAHA, just look at him.
Appearance: since clora has a tiny bit of veela blood in her, thats obvs passed down to their kids, too, and so they mostly take after her as a result of it. but there's still little bits of seb that shine through in each of the kids: for lewis its his brown curly hair, and for celeste its her complexion/freckles. and the fact that celeste looks so similar to clora only doubles up sebastian's stress/protective instincts when he watches her BAHAH. he's ofc still proud that she takes after him so closely, but seb also cant deny that he wishes it had been their SON that had taken after him instead, to keep her out of danger.
Celeste & Lewis: for celeste and lewis’ relationship, celeste is a super proud big sister, and treats lewis kinda like how seb treats clora. if there's anything that needs to be done, she offers to do it for him. and although she doesn’t have the patience to read stories herself, she loves playing outside and having lewis read to her in the background, and loves to act out/use his stories to fuel her imagination. and lewis makes sure to pick stories that he KNOWS she’ll like (which mostly involve heroic and daring feats of adventurers or pirates. he's tried to read more classic fairytales and romances to her a few times, but celeste always gets bored). she loves to draw though, so sometimes when lewis reads books that have no pictures, she'll draw them herself.
Celeste & Seb/Clora: celeste is a daddy's girl LOL and always tries to impress seb with the stuff she does, especially after hearing how HE was at her age, and so its half to impress and half because shes competitive that she wants to do the same/be just as good. and seb always gets a kick out of hearing her feats in the crossed wands club, or in defense against the dark arts class, and he also goads her on, telling her she'll have to do better than that if she wants to be as good as HE was. and whenever celeste gets detention, clora always stresses and asks why, whereas seb just tries to keep the smirk off his face. as for celeste and clora, clora also reads to celeste, and bakes and cooks with her, which is something celeste actually likes doing. not only because it keeps her busy and she likes to help and get messy in general, but also because she likes the fact that it results in good food afterwards LOL, and constantly asks when things can be taken out of the oven. also, for as tomboy-y as celeste is, she honestly doesn't mind/likes the clothing that clora puts her in and likes when clora dresses her up, bc it makes her look like one of the princesses from the storybooks, and it just amuses her more than anything else. once she enters hogwarts, though, its mostly trousers. but she still DOES like the occasional girly clothing.
Lewis & Seb/Clora: lewis is a momma's boy LOL and unlike celeste, doesnt care about duelling or of proving himself or anything like that, and is only concerned with stories and his future studies. so ofc clora had to show him sherlock, which he naturally loved. it even inspired lewis to want to write his own stories, so that he could challenge his own skill and see if he could, but also because he wants his mom to read them, and likes the idea of writing his own sherlock-esque story with equations and mysteries to be solved that he can offer her. lewis also wants to write a book for celeste as well, bc although he wont admit it, he basically wants to write a story tailor-made for her and her interests. one that he thinks will have everything she’d love in it. and part of it is genuinely because he WANTS to do it for her, but the other part of it is also for his ego, and to see if he CAN write a compelling story, and write something that would actually get THE hyperactive celeste to sit down and read it in its entirety (not to mention of her own volition). as for with seb, lewis looks up to him more than anyone else, due to how well-rounded he is and how hes so good at practical stuff AND studying, and he kinda sees seb as a main character/protagonist from one of his books, and uses sebastian as inspiration for his own stories. if hes stuck on what he thinks the dashing main character should do next, he'll ask his dad what HE would do, which results in seb getting very weird questions that he nonetheless is always happy to answer. also, when lewis is older and finally learns the full story of what happened with clora and seb and ranrok and rookwood, he writes their story in novel form, except he just changes their names/some of the details, and it becomes a best seller LOL. and i didnt know where to put this, but the four of them all read a story before bed every night, with lewis in the middle and seb and clora on either side of him. though celeste stands at the foot of the bed, basically doing a charade/mime show of what theyre reading, and putting on a little play to go along with it BAHHA.
OK thats all i can think of for now ive yapped enough😩 if youve read all of this ur a real one.... ive also considered giving them a 3rd (and last) child, which would be a boy that looks exactly like seb, and seb would just be praying like please.....let this son take after me🧎♂️🙏 BAHHA
#much to sebs dismay celeste is probs gonna be an auror LMAO whereas lewis is gonna be a writer#seb once again asking the universe why their personalities couldnt have been switched....but girldad seb is made to suffer#and yes they are BOTH dressed by clora and her mom if you couldnt tell LMAO#just wait till lewis is out of that sailor fit...he gonna be a heartbreaker when hes older fr fr. bro is beautiful#also i can imagine celeste when shes older using her looks to her advantage BAHHA like noo...i wouldnt do that...look at me🥹uwu#sweet talking her way out of detention BAHAHA shes that troublemaker student that the teachers secretly have a fond spot for#and altho seb tells lewis to protect and watch over her in school he doesnt rly take it seriously bc hes still young#but once they get older and if celeste ever DOES have problems then lewis definitely would step up for her as her brother#but hed do it in a very conniving and indirect way...like finding out whoever is causing her trouble and hexing them or some shit LMAO#and nobody would ever know😇😇😇#celeste would be like I GUESS I FINALLY SCARED THEM OFF/THEY LEARNED NOT TO MESS WITH ME!!!#and lewis would just be like yea....thats probably what happened.#bro does not need OR want the credit LMAO#also hes soft for his sis so he supports her delusions like the good lil bro he is. lewis supports womens rights and wrongs. king#choccyart#celeste sallow#lewis sallow
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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.
-Shrimp Anon
The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.
Get ready cause this is a yap session:
Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.
I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.
The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.
This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.
Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...
These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.
I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.
Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.
It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.
I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.
It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.
There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.
End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.
#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces#regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary#but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful#and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to#explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen#in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what#is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit#from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line#in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue#that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t#upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do#something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those#two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example#or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the#fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically#violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out#in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game#but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of#rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se#how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is#concerned about with Jimmy#and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy#instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste#which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab#complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post#on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if#you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make#the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions
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Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.
Blitz—
Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.
Eventually everyone goes...
Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.
I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.
Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.
But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.
I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.
And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!
It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—
You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.
[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]
Stolas—
Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?
I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!
You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.
Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.
I'll save us both before we grow cold.
What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.
I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...
He deserves the choice to stay or go.
So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...
Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.
What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...
I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.
I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!
[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss the full moon#stolitz#blitz helluva boss#helluva boss blitz#stolas helluva boss#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss full moon#helluva boss meta#More or less?#image description in alt#I am sorry for inflicting pain but I simply cannot suffer alone#They both think they're being rejected when truly they're both desperate to be enough for the other#But as soon as they give the other a chance to say 'I want you too'#(Stolas with his heartfelt confession; Blitz with his 'hold on Stolas' and his 'LET'S GO!')#The other immediately goes 'oh so I was right. He really actually does not want me around. Just like I feared#And acts accordingly. Which just cements the other's belief that what's happening is just a very cruel and mocking rejection#HE'S NOT REJECTING YOU HE'S REACHING OUT SAYING 'WILL YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL' YOU IDIOT#<- me at BOTH of them#Their trauma is so well written I am in awe always and forever. Every step of the way. Their brokenness heals me.#It's going to be so cathartic when they grow to understand one another's perspective
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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“What’s this one supposed to mean?”
“Hmm..beauty or strength, sometimes.”
“Perfect.”
@sketchbookweek Day 2 - Wilderness / Witchcraft
going back to my roots of drawing sketchbook being gay in a field
#update I’m doing the silly coloured speech bc I realised i didn’t make it super clear who’s saying what jjghgd#Hilda sketchbook#sketchbookweek#hilda the series#sketchbook ship#art tag#sooo this was the first drawing I did for skbk week and let me tell you guys#it fought me. every. step of the way#i spent like 3 evenings working on the sketch just to scrap it and redo it on the next one#I’m so rusty with art I haven’t been able to do anything remotely ambitious in so long sooo yeah :’)everyone lower your expectations please#however I do think this came out kinda nice#spiritually I guess it’s a redraw of that drawing from 2020 so seeing a bit of improvement is nice anyway#i love these prompts btw I wish I could’ve done both#the flower is a jasmine btw. every website on the internet had a different idea of its meaning so I picked the ones I liked 😌#is it worth mentioning that I had some doodles I wanted to post for day 1 but I literally could not get them done on time :’)#an attempt was made but ah well. onto the next
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Pac knows that hes hopelessly in love with Fit. He even talks about it with people he trusts the most. And he knows that Fit is flirting with him. But he also had crippling low self esteem and horrible self worth issues so he cant believe that Fit really means the flirting. Because why would someone like Fit like him like that? It has to be just a joke to Fit right? But sometimes he allows himself to hope even though he knows that it will just hurt him in the end. And maybe there is a tiny chance he actually feels the same? But Pac is also scared. Scared of being hurt, scared of scaring Fit off and scared of losing Fit like he loses everyone else.
Fit also knows deep down that he is absolutely and irrevocably in love with Pac. But he is not ready to even fully admit it to himself yet. And maybe deep down he knows that Pac feels the same but if he totally lets that thought in he might have a panic attack. He doesnt know how to do this. Any of this. He is still struggeling with trusting people with basic things. And there are so many reasons why he cant do this. He has a mission, he needs to protect his son and he could not live with himself if he got Pac into his mess and was the reason Pac got hurt. He is so scared of fucking things up in one was or another. And then there is also the internalized homophobia part of course.
#they are so important to me#they both need therapy#i just want them to be happy#but i love the angst and slow burn#they really are good for each other though#baby steps#qsmp#fitpac#fitmc#pactw#qsmp shipping
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I’m making a longer post about this chapter, but I thought these cheeky little parallels were silly. I know what you are Horikoshi.
Like ignore the togachako gay ass part of this… it’s the fact that Izuku is the one looking at her now and she isn’t looking back. Their friendship is so interesting y’all omg (not in a shipping way. Like in an unrequited love/unrequited friendship way. Like they do make me a little ill to think about bc wym by that this gayass can’t get it through his thick skull that this girl liked him for the longest time and doesn’t understand why she isn’t treating him in the not-platonic care way anymore. Like that’s crazy. Izuku bbg you are so interesting and so so silly)
#bkdk#togachako#I know y’all will appreciate this bc there’s a lot of new people in the tags rn talking about how they ‘know Izuocha will be canon BUT-‘ bbg#no#it’s alright you don’t have to worry that much okay#it’s very explicitly a totally different relationship that requires much more nuance than simply looking at them and saying ‘boy like girl’#this is a world about devious or disregarded or generally ‘bad’ people are seen as outcasts inherently#and it’s a story about how isolated minorities turn into genuinely dangerous people to be seen by those around them#that acceptance is NEEDED for a healthy society because bigotry has always and will always affect everyone within it#and I think half of the ways people are expecting Izuocha to get together in some capacity are jumping through a million hoops to get there#by both overly cautious BkDk shippers and by Izuocha fans themselves#if you need to jump through 40 million hoops for a ship to happen… and the gay one is very easy and has already been layed out…#then at the very least the straight one isnt going to happen. I’m either very sorry to tell you this if you wanted that or I’m very happy-#to tell you this if you did.#me personally y’all would think is an extra step above delusional bc I genuinely think they’ll be explicitly gay in the epilogue#but yk#that’s just me
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Love how carla went from 'hmm idk idkk I like her but this is so new haha uncharted waters I mean like' to 'DONT. GET. DRESSED' in a matter of minutes
#she's crazy shes insane for this one#okay but the way they both look at eachother to confirm that this is indeed what they both want#the absolute feral lust taking over#they way they both so desperately want this need this even#but deep down carla knows It'll be temporary#one small thing and the distance between them grows once more#when she hears the call from betsy she just knows its going to end#because lisa is so good at running away#and carla knows this. carla even spits it in her face she tells it like it is#and she just wants lisa to see that her words are truth and she can be happy and she wants to be happy and carla wants it to be with her#she cant keep running away she cant keep letting betsy dictate what she thinks is right for her#she needs to stop being a coward and just listen#carla knows it was over before it even started#but neither can actually keep away for long#their relationship has become too mutually dependent#and even through gritted teeth even while spitting vitriol carla will always always defend lisa#because its truly all she wants. for lisa to be happy and for betsy to step down from her red haze#just owch#coronation street#swarla#carla x lisa#carla connor#lisa swain#i love and hate these women and they will be the death of me
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Half the internet talking about how we just need to be more niceys to men and misogyny is the fault of mean internet feminists and the other half going "Let's try seperatism again!" I'm so tired. I want to be in community with men, especially marginalized men whose political goals align with mine, while trusting that any critique of misogyny won't immediately turn them into fascists. Is that too much to ask?
#feminism#misogyny#sexism#both 'all the young boys are buying into violent misogyny because a leftist tweeted she hates men'#and 'men are inherently unsafe stop having relationships with them'#assume that men are categorically incapable of caring about something for a reason other than personal gain#it's either:#the left must appeal to men (not based on their race or class or other forms of marginalziation- no. specifically benefit men as a class)#because they'll never care about misogyny if there's nothing in it for them#OR it's:#stop giving men anything they want. because they'll never care about misogyny unless there's something in it for them.#am i naive??? for believing you can teach someone to care about other people?#I feel like even progressives barely believe in the idea of a male feminist anymore#because apparently they think male feminists must constantly be assured that they're one of the good ones or else they'll become a fascist#idk... that doesn't sound much like a feminist to me#the thing is that if i take half a step back i'm like obviously this is possible i literally already know men like this.#the problem is that they're a small minority but it handily proves this isn't an inherent issue.#of course it isn't i dont believe in gender essentialism!#but internet discourse pretending men are the only demographic categorically incapable of allyship makes me question myself sometimes
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I love the music this episode. So foreboding for the Demeter section, and then so light and charming for Mina.
Speaking of Mina, I love how she opens with Lucy "looking sweeter and lovelier than ever" - because obviously, Lucy looking sweet and lovely at all times is a given, she's just more so currently. ^_^ She has some lovely descriptions, reminiscent of Jonathan - she too is painting a word-picture for him to possibly read later. But it soon diverts into history and legend and spookiness, because of course it does, she enjoys that stuff. ...actually, graveyards being treated almost like public parks wasn't that uncommon at the time I think, but it's still fun and her interest in spooky stories is apparent elsewhere in the entry too. I love how Mina is planning to come back here and work often: it's that preparation for the future again. She's so eager to get started, and possibly in a little bit of the 'I'm going to get so much done this summer' phase, though I have way more faith in her ability to stick to the plan than my own. But she really is obviously excited to build up her skills (presumably working on typing and stenography) and I love how you can really feel her effort (and her enjoyment in the effort) to be like lady journalists here. All those descriptions and interviewing Mr. Swales...
Speaking of Mr. Swales, he sounds so sweet. Lovable grandpa acquired; well done Mina!
#dracula daily#mina murray#re: dracula#parallel with jonathan: they both visit a new place and immediately get adopted#i really do love mina's voice here <3#only downside is i can't help but notice the one failure in her attention to detail: she didn't count all the steps!#i like to imagine that on her way back to lucy's she does count them to herself. now that she's written down that she doesn't knkw how many#she wants to know how many#(can't remember if that's proved wrong by later entries so for now i shall believe it)#she gets back and smiles and greets lucy with ''412 steps!'' or whatever. and lucy knows her well enough to know the thought process#and just smiles and laughs#let me just have fun imagining them having fun
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(do you love me like that?) you're a reckless driver (I'm a reckless driver) and one day it will kill us if I —
#yellowjacketsedit#yjedit#akilahmari#lyricsongifs#yellowjacketscentral#ok i WANT TO DISCLAIM. im not 100% sold on pitgirl mari im not 100% sold on anything. the show will tell me when its ready!#that SAID im incapable of giffing unless theres tragedy involved and also i think it would be an interesting trajectory for them#akilahmari work imo because while different they are both very vulnerable in the same way#they want to be seen and cared for and they arent in an environment where thats easy#and like. yeah the you tell me all the time to keep my eyes on the road gif IS the gay scenes#but its also akilah being in tune with people and their emotions. ofc she knows taivan love each other ofc she knows lottienat need a momen#and later ofc she knows lottie and nat need a moment!!! that skill serves her as tension escalates#whereas mari cannot read a room + does not filter herself. and akilah often gets the best of that from her!#but also. akilah shoots her a look when she presses javi about the missing bear meat. but also. mari isnt wrong to be concerned#mari is vulnerable and scared !!!AND!!! heavily concerned about survival. so whereas akilah and mari are both scared to hunt javi#mari is the second to run to grab javis body. akilah follows still horrified. mari is better suited to survive in a lot of ways#but also tends to step on toes!!! but also mari is so loyal and so like. attentive? eager? in a way akilah isnt#so mari says more controversial things but ultimately follows status quo in a way akilah is less inclined to#even in terms of skills mari can cook and akilah can sew but eventually what good is stitching people up when they need to eat. you know.#IDK i think theyre soooo interesting and im rly looking forward to their relationship hopefully developing bc i think theyre cute and fun#but i think their dyn could get sooooo interesting. even in terms of letting mari go. like. many connotations#akilah can giggle when the jokes are still funny and they can find each other in any given space. but does that matter if it cant save them#anyway ive run out of tags to tag the chars for my blog and im being really brave about it btw.#also its 2 am and i wanna post and im being even braver about that (not deleting this tag but its not 2 am my time as i post im drafting<3)
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something that really pisses me off is this headcanon that ice would have been or was against mav pulling bradley’s papers for the academy.
like i’m sorry but I need some of you to think for a second. this is a man whose jet wash indirectly also led to the accident that resulted in goose’s death and probably carried that guilt for half his life too. this is also the man who was there to watch mav and carole grieve for the brother/husband they lost for YEARS. not to mention he was close to goose as well since they were both at the academy. like he would have wanted to protect bradley just as much as mav did when he made the decision to pull the papers. it’s a dumb moment for both of them but again. 100% they would have both thought they were doing the right thing for bradley.
#this has been cooking in my head and I needed to let it out#actually while we’re on the topic I’m gonna go right ahead and continue#people saying Mav pulled the papers ONLY because of carole’s wish are.... dumb sorry imma say it!#that’s his best friend’s son. the kid of the brother he lost#like be fr for a second mav isn’t infallible he wasn’t being victimised by carole he knew perfectly well what he was doing#and he did it in part to protect bradley! bc he didn’t want a naval career to kill him just like it did his father!#and ofc you can argue that this doesn’t make sense when Mav raised bradley and knew how much he wanted to be a naval aviator#but. again. that is prob why Mav didn’t step in when bradley chose an alternative path#you can recognise your kid’s wishes and ambitions and want them to succeed and also think that it’s gonna kill them#and act on what YOU think is best for your kid#anyway idk why these headcanons specifically irritate me so goddamn much but they do 😭#icemav were good parents but they weren’t perfect it’s like.... okay to admit that both iceman and maverick fucked up#in this aspect of parenting bradley lmao#su.txt#top gun
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prowlerbyte hcs
ok..... yall got me. you did. i ship prowlerbyte now 😅 and i'd like to throw out some Thoughts about them bc damnit if this ship doesn't have some Flavor to it that i'd like to share with you all 🤌
both margo and miles g here are from earth 42 tho bc i think miles g has been thru Enough and he deserves someone in his corner in his own universe, besides his family members
LOTS of words under the cut ↓
♡ weirdgirl nerd x edgyboy nerd 100%… you just KNOW IT. miles is absolutely a geek either for comics or anime and he only opens up to his closest friends to let them see that side of him, no one else. margo brings that side out of him often when they meet up (but miles is still p reserved if anyone else is with them)
♡ margo is a fantastic singer and hums mind-blowing runs as easily as she breathes and miles absolutely loves it. when she's depressed, she sings a lot less so whenever she DOES sing that's how he knows she's in a good mood. he loves having her over bc he gets to pull out uncle aaron's old secondhand record player and place rnb and 90's hiphop vinyls on it, playing soulful music that she hums to as they parallel-play or do homework together
♡ when margo first convinced miles to let her do his hair, he was hella worried that his mom would disapprove and chastise him once she saw but she was surprisingly very supportive of it, although a bit hesitant. eventually she was grateful she didnt have to braid her son's hair as often (being a single parent is exhausting enough lol)
♡ rio42 ofc had the same reaction to margo as rio1610 when she 1st met gwen, but when margo eventually started showing up more and more to hang out with the morales fam (and aaron too lol), she grew on rio. they both keep a close eye on miles and try to keep him going towards the right path
♡ in their universe they both go to visions and even have a class together, and they are both very very academically competitive. rio doesn't need to stay on miles' ass about his grades bc margo is right there taunting him with an A+ on a test every single time
♡ they actually ACTUALLY study together in the library or in miles' room during study sessions. neither of them can afford to fall off wrt their grades and they both have big dreams they wanna achieve: margo wants to become a hardlight technician and apply for oscorp (much to miles' chagrin), and miles wants to continue his engineering and robotics career so he can provide for his whole family
♡ margo's parents constantly fighting means she is often over at miles' house more than he is at hers. it actually took her an embarrassingly long amount of time to finally invite him over because she never wanted her parents to know he even existed, let alone actually meet him at all. miles was at first kinda offended she didn't want him to meet her parents even after they got together but when he heard them arguing in the background during a call one day, he finally Understood
♡ after he found out about her crappy home life (and also secretly told rio), she was welcome to stay more often at his place. she has a blanket, a few clothes and several diff books and console games lying around in his room
♡ it honestly also took them both a ridiculously long time to finally start dating. everyone around them shipped them but they remained friends for a long time bc miles was just too closed off and scared to let anyone into his private life like that. also i hc they are both on the ace spectrum but don't realize it until later (listen i see purple characters and i HAVE to wave the ace wand on them ok 😭)
♡ margo is sometimes frustrated at miles for being so secretive and hiding his emotions behind walls, as goofy and dorky as he can be. she wishes he would just come out and be more honest about his feelings but understands that after his dad's passing, its harder for him to communicate his emotions
♡ she was the one who asked him out first, actually. he was beating around the bush way too much and so she finally put her foot down and initiated the relationship
♡ in public or with strangers they are: sunshine x sunshine protector. in private or with family n friends they are: "EXCUSE ME! miles asked for no pickles ☝️" esp since margo is the extrovert and he's the introvert.
♡ miles is actually p jealous and protective of margo and she finds that hilarious.
"i don't need any protecting, babe. i am a certified badass," margo says, flipping her box braids.
miles laughs, winding boxing wraps around his hands and standing in front of his giant punching bag. he looks over at his girlfriend sitting on a bean bag, with her adorable kitten t-shirt and fluffy sweater and grins even wider. "yeah… aight, sure thing."
margo scoffs, noticing his line of sight and looking very offended. "i may look cute and unassuming but that's exactly what i want our enemies to think! it gives me an advantage!"
miles hums, nodding. "mhm. advantage to do what, exactly?"
margo throws an empty soda can at him, which miles easily dodges as he laughs harder.
♡ it's funny, bc on the outside they seem like the stereotypical traditional straight relationship with a macho boy and sweetheart girl. but in reality they're both sarcastic snippy geeks who can both throw down in any verbal argument. and miles adores his gf, he's completely whipped for her. lets her paint his nails and everything, and if anyone tries to make fun of him for it, he doubles down and threatens to fight them over it
♡ they are THAT couple that wears lowkey matching outfits every once in a while. they actually enjoy shopping together which was a relief for both of them bc miles LIVES just to go sneaker shopping and margo absolutely loves trying new things on in the dressing room. theyre also both fashionistas in their own ways and love to accessorize. they swap accessories a lot
♡ whenever they hit up a bookstore, they are the first to head right on over to the manga section. right afterwards, they make a beeline over to the science fiction section and compare their purchases together after leaving
♡ miles is absolutely the "idc what my girl wears bc i know how to fight" boyfriend. margo doesn't go out in revealing outfits or anything, but looking a little TOO adorable in a dystopian city can sometimes paint a target on your back and so miles makes sure she's with him at all times if she wants to put her braids up into heart buns or wear a dress outside
♡ any hardware or mechanical problem that margo has, she takes it straight to miles. miles takes any software or coding issues he has to margo. if those software issues have anything to do with his prowler gear, however… he tries to isolate the issue and explain in vague terms what the problem is to avoid telling his gf he's actually the prowler
♡ no, he has not revealed to margo that he is the prowler yet. he's terrified to see her face when she inevitably finds out anyways, just KNOWING it would doom their relationship to a breakup if she ever figured it out. he does everything in his power to keep her from finding out his secret, even if it means disappointing her when he misses out on dates they set together
♡ they are both total champions at whatever multiplayer video game they get hooked onto. their personal faves are mmorpgs and battle royale games, but they are UNBELIEVABLY competitive when it comes to party games and even board games. they absolutely wipe the floor if they get to team up together
♡ tbqh they're the EXACT level of nerdy that they would consider playing video games in their separate homes as a date. "mmorpg and chill babe?" miles texts margo sometimes as a joking way to ask her on an online date. every minute they spend on voicechat as they kick digital ass together counts as quality time for sure
♡ even tho she's kind of embarrassed about it, margo has an absolutely huge plushie and figurine collection. she was worried miles would judge her SUPER HARD for her lowkey (highkey) special interest in anime figures when he 1st came over to her room, but immediately felt relieved when miles practically flew up to a rare figure she got secondhand from a japanese seller online and started ooohing and aaahing about it
♡ he actually tries to put aside whatever he earns prowling around the city for his mom first. then whatever's left over goes right to margo. he likes taking her out shopping and letting her pick out two or three things and seeing her beam like a sunrise before giving him a kiss on the cheek
♡ miles tries to hide his prowling behind the excuse of getting a job with his uncle at the family auto shop. every time he has a job to do or needs to leave suddenly, he blames it on "an emergency/new car job at the garage". margo eventually starts hating the word "garage"
♡ get either of these 2 to start talking abt their special interest, and it will be like Infodump City in there in 2 secs flat. they listen to each other's infodumping with hearts in their eyes, ESPECIALLY miles. margo goes "hey can i just rant to you about my new interest rq" and he goes "yes ma'am 🥰"
♡ everyone thinks margo is the one who cooks and cleans but hell no. miles is a neat freak whose room is the total opposite of margo's and he spends a lot of time alone at home when his mom is working a double shift and his uncle is out trying to secure another job for them. he knows how to cook like a damn chef by the time he's 16 (and also rio42 is not a toxic boymom. she will not raise any lazy needy son, her boy WILL know how to do laundry, cook meals and wash the damn dishes!)
♡ margo on the other hand tries to avoid the kitchen as often as possible and gets panic attacks when having to clean anywhere else but her own room bc of bad memories of having to sweep up broken glass after hearing her parents have violent fights that left the apartment in tatters. she never got to learn how to cook bc they never taught her, either
♡ margo is actually p traumatized from her parents' constant hateful fighting that she tries to squash down or hide behind a confident mask. but sometimes it pops up in ugly ways like when miles accidentally slams a cupboard door too loudly or a sarcastic comment sounds a little too bitter. her knee-jerk reaction is to always distance herself from miles a bit as a coping mechanism, which they had to work through
♡ miles' own grief and loss traumatized him beyond belief too ofc. after his dad's passing, his anxiety grows and he becomes more withdrawn, easily tired, and forgetful. it becomes worse after he becomes the prowler, bc dipping into the NYC underworld every so often gives p much anyone a healthy dose of paranoia. plus it takes some time away from his gf on top of all of that.
♡ if they're ever at parties or get-togethers at all, its always margo initiating conversations and meeting with people, making introductions and chatting happily. she always happens to have a quiet, chill miles-shaped shadow with her the whole time
♡ if margo was going to date miles, he told her one time, she was GOING to learn how to dance bachata and salsa. throw in a lil reggaeton in there as they get older and rio becomes a TINY bit more chill with seeing them on the dancefloor. they actually become much better at dancing together as they practice at family reunions and birthday parties
♡ miles carries around plush keychains and other trinkets that remind him of margo. he's a total sap when it comes to her, even if he tries to hide just how much he loves her sometimes. his phone's lockscreen is something dark or aesthetic like a city skyline or whatever but then when he unlocks it, margo is always his wallpaper
♡ aaron likes margo, he really does. he worries that miles doesn't have enough friends but he's happy that his nephew has a gf that is genuinely good for him. they all have a great time together whenever they do get downtime to chill together, like playing cards or helping aaron clean the garage
♡ that being said, aaron loves to pretend to sabotage their relationship as a running joke and watch miles get all riled up about it. it is hilarious to him, never gets old.
they're giving the garage connected to the autoshop its bimonthly deep clean just ahead of the yearly inspection.
it's a sunday, the only day of the week that the shop is closed for business and miles is on corner duty once they get down to the concrete floor. he's tasked with using the short hard brush attached to a long wooden handle to scrub the dust and grime out of the neglected corners. margo is scrubbing the middle with a much bigger sturdier widebroom, and aaron--being the tallest ofc-- has the duster on an extendable handle, swiping through the metal rafters and high shelves.
he notices miles struggling a bit with a mysterious stain in one corner, repeatedly attacking it before finally crouching down to shove the brush even harder against the floor with his hands.
aaron casually sneaks backwards and catches margo's attention with a smirk and a point of his chin. she swings her gaze around to her slightly frustrated boyfriend crouched down into a corner and starts giggling.
aaron grins as he suddenly says, "so yeah, thats why i got miles here on corner duty, usually. y'know being a little guy and all, he can do all that that someone as tall as me can't really do anymore yanno what i'm sayin? he's real good in those small spaces. that's why i'm up here, dustin' these rafters."
scandalized, miles springs back up with a "hey!!" and a withering glare shot their way. margo bursts out laughing.
♡ miles is the little spoon and margo is the big spoon, fight me abt it. his fave cuddling position is actually when his arms are wrapped around her and her cheek is laid against his head. otherwise, he loves his weighted blanket, and margo loves her warm mattress ♡ when they're home alone and on the couch watching movies, his back is usually to her side as he half-lays on her, using her arm as a pillow
♡ margo is def not a sports kind of girl but she tries for her bf. he and aaron are very much into basketball which she tries to keep up with just to join in on their convos. she always attends miles' boxing matches tho, ofc. she actually likes watching boxing matches in general! aaron gives her some old tapes of his own matches when he was younger and that's how margo gets into televised mma fights and ufc. she's always cheering for miles the loudest in the audience
♡ miles actually uses margo sometimes in his workouts. the proudest day of his life was when he was able to have margo laying on his back as he did pushups, and he made it to 10 before tiring himself out. she's the one holding his feet down as he does sit-ups and ab crunches. she tries to join in on his workouts too, and gets p good with the speedbag relatively quickly!
♡ miles-- being the paranoid guy he is-- happens to be the one to teach margo all of the effective self-defense moves. she thinks he's always exaggerating the danger out on the streets but she can't lie sometimes; whenever she's out past sunset with her keys in between her knuckles, she's just a TINY bit glad that miles taught her how to escape a rear chokehold
♡ margo is the soc media girl who is embarassingly online and posts about anything and everything of her life. new website coded? met a stray cat on her way over to miles'? bought a new manga? invented a cool gadget? they always show up in her followers soc media feed. she tries to get miles to pose for pics with her but he's mostly content to just be the guy behind the camera tbh. his own soc media account is pretty boring and bare since he rarely ever posts. he's got other things on his mind, errands to run
♡ the one and only time margo has ever seen miles cry was right after his dad died. the whole neighborhood got the news and she ran straight over to miles' apartment the minute she could. they climbed into his bed (the only time rio didn't reprimand them for it) and he just sobbed his heart out while they held each other for a real long time. she brought over homework and notes when he stayed home from school to recuperate
#spiderverse#mine#earth 42 prowler#spider byte#earth 42#prowlerbyte#margo kess#miles g morales#i hope yall can see my vision#now ofc these two havent met at all in the movie yet#but can you imagine like a lil scene where spiderbyte somehow meets up with miles42#and she goes “miles! i recoded the machine so you can go back home to your CORRECT dimension#if you ever wanna come back to spider society?“#and then shes like “…wait. what happened to your hair? i like it but… wait what're you wearing?”#and then miles42 is looking at her like O_O bc his Girlfriend But Not Girlfriend is just zipping around asking him all these questions#and… is she a HOLOGRAM?#miles1610 steps in and steers miles42 away going “uh thanks but yeah he's me from another dimension ahaha anyWAYS lets go over here bro”#and miles42 just goes “MY GIRLFRIEND IS SPIDERWOMAN IN ANOTHER DIMENSION?!?!”#god that would be amazing#i want them to have even just ONE second of an interaction in btsv mannnnn#they r So Cute what?? like#also yes they are both ace bc they are Purple. the girls that get it get it#im thinkin maybe miles42 is like... sex neutral ace and margo is demisexual. theyre both biromantic bc of course#anyways hope yall enjoyed these ^^✌️
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If it's okay with you, could you write a drabble about the hypothetical aftermath of Amane getting attacked by Kotoko?
Welp thank you pal for making me absolutely insane with this request 👍 I ran through a few hypotheticals and realized I had to shift some things around since there were so many absolutely tragic outcomes. I worked something out but damn if it didn’t make me emotional to think about how uniquely rough Amane has it. Even making sure she's in a good place at the end, this got pretty serious, so warnings for child abuse and cult references.
(So in canon, Kotoko goes in order and attacks Fuuta, but Kazui steps in. Then she attacks Mahiru while he’s distracted with his injuries. She’s about to attack Amane, but Mikoto gets in the way (my hc that he did it on purpose survives!). By the time they reach a draw, Kazui is back, and the two of them can prevent Kotoko from any further action against Amane. Sticking to this apparent system of three attacks and one rescue, I’m just shuffling around the injuries for this story. Fuuta’s attack went unnoticed, and he’s in the same state as canon Mahiru. Mikoto steps in before Kotoko can fight Mahiru, so Mappi’s the one who get out physically unscathed. While Mikoto checks on Mahiru, recovers himself, or discovers Fuuta, Kotoko is able to attack Amane next. Kazui comes to help, but not before she leaves Amane looking like canon Fuuta.)
Mahiru could practically feel her heart shatter into a million pieces when Amane finally cried in front of her. She hadn’t shed a single tear yesterday – it was the shock, Shidou said. Mahiru was skeptical. After all, she had been shocked, too, and cried plenty.
Amane woke as she came in with breakfast. She took a moment to survey herself, bandages peeking out from beneath her pajamas and an eyepatch securely over her right eye. As calmly as one might say “good morning,” she started to cry. Mahiru might have missed it, if Amane hadn’t wiped at her good eye with her sleeve.
“Oh, sweetheart…!” Mahiru rushed over to her. “It’s okay, I’m here.” She wanted nothing more than to wrap the girl in a secure embrace, but she remembered the mass of bandages that were around her chest. Shidou had mentioned broken ribs and bruises. It took everything in her not to cry along with Amane, at the thought.
“I can get you another ice pack, if you need. Or more medicine.” Her mind spun with ways to help with pain. Many of the first aid supplies had been used to keep Fuuta from the brink of death, but surely there were extras to spare for Amane.
The girl just shook her head.
She muttered, “I can’t… I…I’m going to be punished, I’m going to be punished…”
“No! You’re safe now.” Mahiru placed her hands gently on Amane’s arms. “Kotoko’s not coming back. We’re all watching over you. You’re safe. She’s not going to hurt you anymore.”
“That’s not…” Amane pulled away. Her voice stayed level, despite hiccups interrupting her. A hand reached up to her eyepatch. “It’s this. It’s all of this. It’s sinful. I took it off last night, but he must have…” She started unwrapping it. “They’re going to punish me...”
With a careful motion, Mahiru held it in place and took Amane’s hands into her own. She’d been picking up on the signs ever since they arrived here together, and a final wave of understanding washed over her.
“I can’t let you do that.”
Amane’s expression twisted, though words came out far more frantic than fiery. “Let me go.”
Mahiru didn’t. “I’m sorry. Amane, you need this treatment.”
“That is not your decision to make. That is not any human’s decision to make.”
Mahiru pressed her lips together. “I know. But I can’t watch as you… I can’t sit by again while someone…” She was careful not to apply any pressure, but she could no longer fight the urge to gather Amane up in her arms. “You don’t need to be afraid of those people, anymore.”
“I’m not afraid.” Amane hiccuped. “They love me, and I love them. I need to be good for them.”
“I love you, and I don’t want to see you in pain.”
“You just pity me because I’m young.”
“Why does your age matter? You are a lovely young woman – you are my friend – and I can’t bear to see you in pain.”
The two sat in silence for a moment. Mahiru doubted she would take that as an answer; Amane had refused to call any of the others her friend. At least she didn’t argue. In fact, it seemed she was leaning into the embrace a bit more. She sighed a shaky breath into Mahiru’s uniform.
“Listen, Amane. Can you do me a favor? I’m trying to be a good girl, too. To make up for something awful, I need to make sure you’re alright. Can you help me? Can we be good together?”
A long pause followed. Amane’s voice spoke up, ever so gently.
“I suppose I can consider it.” She added quickly, “for the sake of your redemption. Of course.”
“Of course.”
#milgram#amane momose#mahiru shiina#thank you so much! i dont want to be bubbly on such a serious drabble but i want to give an enthusiastic thanks because this one really got#the gears turning!!#i started making plans as soon as i saw the ask and it took so long finding something that wouldnt result in straight up tragedy :(#if i kept to the initial timeline and said kazui didnt step in until amanes attack then both fuuta and mahiru would be close to death#and given there seems to limited supplies i think one of them would have died if shidou needed to treat three critical patients#so i moved people around to make sure everyone survived#which brought me to the main problem of amane self sabotaging her medical care#even minor injuries could have resulted in death if she got her way and removed bandages/refused treatment#but the mental strain of keeping the treatment would be just as bad as the physical pain -- shed be paranoid 24/7 of#divine punishment and repeating the mistakes that led her here.... it would hurt more to be forced like that#so i needed someone to be able to get through to her gently#but the only one who shes been able to trust just got the shit beat out of him and is in no position to talk!!!!#everyone else would just make her more upset or not know how to convince her the right way :(#still - i think mahiru could do it the best! with her own trauma from allowing loved ones to die in front of her i think shed be motivated#so. yeah.#i know amane is supposed to be talking in the plural pronoun now but i couldnt get it to work - lets just say that kicks in soon after this#tw cults#tw child abuse#drabbles
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