#i want a friend group like this one so badly

[givehimthemedicine]

lumax as a premature relationship

first: I don't mean any of this like "the show shouldn't have done it". what I mean is that with lumax, ST is telling the story of a relationship whose flaw (if it can be summarized into just one) is that it happened too soon.

probably out of comparison to milkvan, and the delay of canon byler, lumax gets lauded as the wholesome ship based on true friendship that slowly blossomed into romance. but that's not accurate. Lucas is a good friend to Max, but Max isn't to Lucas, and it certainly wasn't slow.

even platonic lumax should've been a slow simmer but was a speed run

the newly-introduced Max has high walls, which suggests anyone who wants to get close to her will have to take a slow approach. but then before you know it, Lucas is just kinda. in there.

yes, it takes him most of the season to earn Max's trust, which sounds long, but isn't. the first time Lucas and Max ever spoke was Halloween, Wednesday. the arcade I think is Saturday, and the junkyard is the day after that? so she broaches the darkest subject in her life... 4 days after meeting him. with like. zero prompting. "that fog looks cool! btw my parents are divorced and..."

Max's walls are only so high because of how badly she wants to let someone in, so it's understandable that the right person could get in relatively fast. I have no problem with that trope. sucker, in fact. but opening up here was CRAZY for someone with huge trust issues:

you have to be careful who you confide in about abuse because if your confidant mishandles it so that your abuser finds out you told, things could get MUCH worse. she simply doesn't know Lucas well enough to know he won't accidentally put her in more danger (which actually he already did: by following her out of the arcade after she said not to, and again by showing up at her house).

this talk was moments before Max saw a demodog, meaning she's gone along with the supernatural story without any evidence. I'm not criticizing that; she's a kid who likes fantasy, wants friends really bad, and isn't above playing make-believe in order to be included. what bothers me is she confided in Lucas about her abuse BEFORE seeing a shred of proof this entire outing wasn't the elaborate prank she feared it was. in the infinitely more realistic scenario that these boys are just messing with her, and will ditch her after they've had their laugh, this could so easily have led to a much darker situation at home.

the timing of that conversation was so objectively, stupidly unsafe that I'd call it bad writing if it was an isolated incident. but, self-preservation instincts so terrible they can sometimes be better explained as elf-sabotage - that's just classic Max.

romantic lumax seemed kind of forced because as a new kid in town, all Max wanted was friendship

the snow ball is about a month after everything else. Max and Lucas don't seem to be a couple yet. it doesn't even look like they're dates. so to kiss him suddenly felt like another jump way ahead. he sure looked surprised.

I guess a month is a while when you're 13, but the romantic aspect felt rushed to me because the whole season is full of indications that Max only wanted friendship. and that's made super clear by her constant focus on group friendship. her dialogue throughout 2 is consistently group-oriented.

her behavior is too: as of Halloween, Max has Lucas and Dustin in her pocket. if she's crushing on Lucas, or enjoys attention from boys in general, why on earth would she go out on such a limb seeking Mike's acceptance after she already has what she wants?

because that's not what she wants most. she wants to belong to the whole group, like she keeps saying. (I'm going to ramble much more about this theme in another post soon)

Max continues to prioritize friendship / group activities even after lumax becomes a thing

a few examples:

lumax's idea of "romantic time" can include their friends, in contrast to milkvan prioritizing alone time.

Max (and Lucas) drop 1 on 1 time (washing out his eyes is a scene that's an easy kiss opportunity for your standard tv teen couple) in favor of a long trek in the sun to build a radio tower so Dustin can talk to a girl she doesn't believe exists. Max and Lucas do skip off together, but again in contrast to El and Mike who leave early to make out, they only leave because it's time to go home.

^that's the same Max who tagged along and earnestly participated in armoring up a junked schoolbus to fight monsters without any proof.

despite downsizing for trailer living, she kept the Michael Myers mask in memory of the first night she felt like a part of the party.

unlike others who yell for their loved one from the UD, Max calls out for Lucas and Dustin.

her life-saving montage includes many platonic as well as romantic moments.

alright killjoy, if Max only wanted friendship, how's it make sense that SHE initiated all the romantic stuff?

ST is not a universe where grabbing someone's hand in a tense moment is necessarily an indicator of romance. Dustin said he could feel "the electricity" when Lucas and Max held hands on the bus, but then, Dustin also ships stobin.

the kiss, I could actually come closest to calling a writing misstep because.. it wasn't written. it feels forced because it was, as a last-minute unscripted thing - not because the Duffers decided it fit Max's characterization, but purely because they thought it was funny how uncomfortable Sadie was with filming her first kiss. <- this interview is actually so gross.

but, that kiss is canon regardless of how I feel about bts lore, and it fits and it works in the sense that this is the story of a flawed relationship. Max initiated it despite not being ready for it, simply because she thought she was.

Max's childhood fears about bad relationships have made her overeager to prove a good relationship can exist. so the first time a boy is actually kind to her, she's like OH SEE LOVE IS REAL I DONT HAVE TO GROW UP TO BE MY MOM LET'S GOOOO and hurls herself into something she's not mature enough to realize she's too immature to execute well.

if that kiss was so misguided, how's it still Max's happiest memory?

there's no conflict there.

she grew up around terrible relationships and probably feared she was destined for the same, so to find a nice boy like Lucas must have given her such incredible relief and hope. in her young mind, that dance was her happily ever after. you never forget how good a moment like that felt, regardless of how well reality lived up to it.

that said. can I point out that reality hasn't lived up to it?

Max choosing the moment lumax began, as opposed to any moment from the year-and-change of its actual contents... might be less good the more you think about it. like. she doesn't describe this as her favorite memory. she says it's the time she was happiest. in other words, she hasn't been as happy before or since.

that kiss marked lumax's moment of greatest potential, which I think is what made Max so happy. not the relationship she's actually gotten so far.

mmkay and then what do I do about the fact Max STILL wants to date Lucas?

once again, Max is the one who makes things overtly romantic by doodling a picture of them holding hands. but as you may know from my recent lumax diatribe, I don't see how the ship is seaworthy at present.

so the top layer of my interpretation is that Max is still operating under the same ideas that caused her to kiss Lucas in the first place. she's not thinking about how it'll work; she just wants. this is fast-forward Max again. it's a similar moment of hope to the snow ball kiss. romance with Lucas once again looks like her lifeline out of an awful situation.

the layer underneath that is less fluffy:

Max might've accepted this invite in as much an "I might die tonight so it won't hurt to make some lighthearted plans for the future, he did just save my life so why hurt his feelings for no reason" way as anything else. I don't mean her affection is fake. she just might consider the movie date a pipe dream.

consider that her attic monologue happens only a couple minutes after the doodle, and shows that her suicidal ideations are barely behind her. like, the wanting-to-die part is just bait at this point I think, but the deserving-to-die sentiment still feels fresh and sincere.

consider that Max so recently scolded Lucas for assuring her things would work out because that's "never true" in her life... and now here she is drawing a doodle of things working out.

sure, this could be a girl who's thinking "yes!!! ✅ Attending Event! I genuinely expect to be alive, deserving of love, and in the mood for romance this Friday!" but to me, it honestly seems more like a girl thinking "God, I wish."

btw the doodle would've been perfect as the advent of romantic lumax, imo

if lumax had grown slowly out of a healthy mutual friendship, Max really could be ready right here.

imagine: s2, Max earns her place in the party, but to grow especially close friends with Lucas takes a year; the bus talk happens in s3. we can tell their friendship is starting to want to become more. depression interferes in s4. but their bond helps pierce the fog, and they protect each other from Vecna/Jason.

you hit me with the movie doodle after THAT buildup? adorable, precious, showstopping. at that point, that date could've been their happily ever after. <- this is what people think it is already!

lumax is one of many flawed relationships (and that's okay)

another sign that lumax is supposed to be flawed is its place in the larger pattern of flawed relationships: parallels with other characters and ships.

Max and El in particular share a similar stumble into their relationships: both bond with the first boy to treat them with kindness, and throw themselves into a relationship that actually costs them the friendship they should've had with that boy.

and all the party relationships illustrate different friendship/romance progressions:

lumax is the story of a romance that should've been a friendship first/also and isn't going to succeed til it gets this right

byler will be the story of a romance that was a friendship first and will succeed by remaining one also (or so the themes and patterns suggest)

mileven is the story of a romance that should've been a friendship instead.

literally all of ST's relationships, including the endgame romances, have flaws that are intentional and meant to be explored. in fact that's like... most of what the show is. and most fans can readily admit that about all of them, until they get to lumax, which they think is uniquely meant to be perfect and is flawed only in its writing. this view strips lumax from its broader context and ignores many lessons it's there to teach us about ST's overarching themes.

understand: my aim in pointing out lumax's flaws is not to persuade anyone to enjoy it less or stop shipping it!

flaws don't mean you aren't allowed to like a thing. if anything, it makes them way more interesting to discuss, and more compelling to root for/against. we don't have to pretend our characters are perfect in order to enjoy, ship, and learn from them.

more on all this coming soon in another post exploring different types of love in the Max plot!

[ohquail]

General School Bus Graveyard Headcanons

Aiden has straight As and Bs. No one understands how because of the way he acts; not even the teachers.

Logan has almost every gaming console imaginable. His favorite is his switch because he is obsessed with animal crossing.

The gang wants to travel the world/country together after they get out of the shadow/phantom realm.

Ben and Tyler are the only people Ashlyn trusts with her hair. Ben likes to practice braiding her hair for when Lily wants him too and Tyler will cut her bangs for her.

They don't talk about what happened at the arcade's alley. It's now taboo.

Taylor makes the other 5 go shopping with her. She thinks it's more fun then shopping alone.

Logan's favorite flowers are daisies, but if you asked him he'd say lilies.

The taller Tyler gets, the more Taylor threatens to break his kneecaps. She doesn't want him to not be tall, just not a foot taller than she is.

The group makes it a point to go to any dance recital that Ashlyn has and any baseball game that Tyler has. Neither of them will admit that they really love that the gang comes to support them.

They have a snapchat group chat that's just Aiden and Taylor going back and forth sending pictures of the others. Occasionally Tyler will send something if Aiden and Taylor do something stupid.

Ashlyn's parents started greeting Taylor, Tyler, Ben, Logan and Aiden as "The children who do not live here", It was funny the first time but now Ashlyn begs them to stop.

Taylor and Logan play video games together on the weekends. Their favorite is Mario Kart.

Ashlyn gets a kick out of tripping Tyler. It is completely on purpose, and he has started to pick up on the signs of her about to trip him.

[voidcat]

you 🤝 me

being a victim of Junglers™

They hate to see girlbosses play and have fun fr 😭

I’ve never met a proper jungler they either suck or they play good but have the WORST / unstable personality it’s always a miss with them istg

[piplupod]

my method of "getting better" has just been Do Everything Possible and latch onto whatever gives you any sense of purpose and/or joy. and i guess it's been working because i am definitely not in quite the same place that i was a few yrs ago

[queerplatonicdiaries]

less than a week until I move in with my squish and get to see them again aaaaaaaa

I have never felt such an intense mix of excitement and fear and longing,, send help

[moonlust-demon]

.

[anaalnathrakhs]

i keep looking at posts like "i stopped a binge" "i prevented a binge" and all of them are like. "i waited until the urge went away". buddy. the urge doesn't go away. there's no urge. there's just nothing else to do. i don't have anything else to do. every time i stop eating no matter how long i sit with the feeling or not, i always go for more food because there is genuinely nothing else in my life. nothing is enjoyable anymore. the world sucks. no matter what i force myself to do it's the only positive thing i can ever find.

[jikigo]

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

[aria0fgold]

AO3 Tag Game!

Thank you for the tag @misty-wisp :D This looks so fun!

How many works do you have on AO3?

12! And it's steadily increasing as I get more (and randomly) ideas to write fics bout >:3c

What's your total AO3 word count?

126,004! Whoooaaa... That's a lot :o Ngl, I barely visit the statistics of my ao3 account so I didn't expect that one.

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Okay, so... it's 5? I think. On my main ao3 account it's 2 though! OMORI and Mahoyaku! Buuuut! I've written for Persona 5 (with Magic Kaito) but I'm... too shy to put it in my ao3 account so it's just in my tumblr. The other 2 is somewhere else... (I've written a oneshot for Genshin Impact in an old ao3 account that I don't wanna open up again cuz it's so embarrassing for me... I don't even wanna read that oneshot, I'd die of embarrassment. And the other one is Honkai Impact 3rd, I forgot where I put that one but I do know I wrote a oneshot with Bronya and Seele for it).

Top five fics by kudos:

It's all from OMORI!

Once again, from the beginning - I did not really expect this one to have as much kudos as it has now, like, tbf yea it's my most well planned one but it's still so crazy to see the kudos on it-- wai when did it pass that number-- I never really check the kudos but wtf happened here.

The Tune of the New Morning - How did this one get that many kudos too??? This is my very first OMORI fic and ngl, whenever I look at it I get the very strong urge to rewrite everything from the beginning cuz of how badly planned it is. If OAFB is well planned, this one is terribly planned. I literally make things up as I go.

Magician in the Mirror - Is in the top 3!!! Lookit!!! :D The work I'm proudest in cuz this is my 2nd fic and also the one I just went ham on! I wanted it out during anni and it was all a last minute thing but I'm so glad it turned out well despite that!

The Pawn and the Bishops - I didn't expect to see this one here but alas... it is... I quite like this one though! It's the first one I've written with a fairly heavy and gloomy atmosphere and I think I did pretty good on it!

And thus, the snake ate no more - I see you're here too... This one is actually like a mix of my planning between OAFB and TNM in which that it's in the middle of well planned and terribly planned. Think of it as the middle child of my longfics. With OAFB being the spoiled youngest and TNM the unplanned first child.

Do you respond to comments?

YES! As much as I can! I like receiving comments and I like responding to them as best as I can but I also get pretty nervous bout it... so I end up barely responding anyway oh boooooo.

What's the fic with the angstiest ending you've ever written?

I??? Don't think? I have written any with an angsty ending yet? I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort so most of the fics I've written so far always had a happy ending so! Maybe in the future 👀 Maybe.

Do you write crossovers?

Is the Kaito Kuroba from Magic Kaito in Persona 5 now as Akiren and Co.'s friend stuff I've written considered crossover? If so then yes! It's actually pretty fun to write one! :D

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

I don't think so? Pretty happy that I haven't yet, thank goodness!

Do you write smut?

Nope! I don't know if I would though, truth be told I don't have much knowledge with writing smut, I barely read any stories (novel wise) with it as a guideline cuz I... I can't visualize it well enough, my brain is not equipped for it (I try to read smut and spend the next few minutes figuring out the characters' positions. Yall smut writers out there impressive with it cuz honestly how).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope and thank god for that!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I HAVE!!! AM SO HAPPY BOUT IT!!! :D Someone translated Magician in the Mirror to Chinese and it's so cool!!! I think there's only a Chapter 1 of it but it's so cool and nice and sweet and awwwwww.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Alright, sit down. This is very important. I need you to listen closely, attentively, and carefully... I Love CaiOwe/OweCai. I LOVE CAIN/OWEN!!! OWEN/CAIN!!! CAIN&OWEN I LOOOOOVVVEEE ANYTHING WITH CAIN AND OWEN!!! It's my all-time favourite ship, nothing can compare to Cain and Owen from the hit japanese game, Mahoutsukai no Yakusoku aka Mahoyaku aka mhyk aka Promise of Wizard. They're my most favourite ship I'd go to war for em, I love em so so much, I adore em sooooooo much, I see any fanart of em and my day gets better immediately. They're my lifeblood, my ambrosia, my everything. I love caiowe/owecai with all my heart...

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

Looks at oafb, tnm, and attsanm... I'd like to believe that regardless of how much time had passed, I would be able to finish any of those three though. Hyperfixation gone or not, I wanna finish em!

What are your writing strengths?

I think it'd be monologue? Inner monologue? What do you call that thing where it's just the narrator focusing on the characters' thoughts and feelings and their overall view on the situation??? I think I'm pretty good at that, maybe. And somehow I'm good at accidentally setting things up, I don't know how but I just accidentally do things that connects stuff.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogues... I'm so bad with dialogues most of the time I spend in writing is getting the dialogues right. I'm also really bad at descriptors, I'm bad at describing things so I just try to either describe something as best as I can with the help of searching through the internet or get around that part by just being poetic.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I think it's pretty neat! :o I feel like I've seen fics like that before but can't really remember though I did think it added detail to the story of it!

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Uhhh, I think it waaaaass Honkai Impact 3rd? I think it was the Bronya and Seele fic I've written somewhere that or it was the Genshin Impact fic instead. It was either of those two.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

Magician in the Mirror!!! It's my favourite I've written so far and the one I'm proudest of! And a lil biased, but the latest favourite one that I've just recently written is Look back, Orpheus which is a fic for caiowe from mhyk! Once again, from the beginning is the 2nd favourite though :3

Thank you again for the tag! Dunno who to tag though but for anyone that sees this, feel free to do it! :D

[you-will-return]

---

[cheekblush]

not having any friends is truly heartbreaking

[malachitezmeyka]

What I miss most about going to school while we're stuck home due to the cold is my little daily game of finding where the younger kids dragged the octopuses off to

These are Methodius, Paphnutius, and Martha. Often the only things in our entire school building keeping me sane

[476b]

.

[piplupod]

me when i realize that pretty much everything in my life has actually only gotten worse since i graduated highschool, and all the times i was told things would get better were absolutely false !!!!!!

[stabyou]

i just burst into tears reading a totally normal post of one of my moots having a good time with their friends and literally Just Living Life because i want to have that so badly. i am so fucking unfulfilled, alone, miserable... and it feels even worse because im doing it to myself

[kimio7]

I want to host a dinner party so bad :((