#i want a bottle so bad 😭
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soft-serve-soymilk · 4 months ago
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Actually I’ve come to the conclusion that Cynthia would like Kingdom Hearts for the exact same reason she likes Graces f (the homoerotic tension,,,,,,)
#Also she’s just an action girlie in general! (sorry dism you have Inigo to enjoy turn-based games with instead 💔)#just pav things#She likes graces better though because it has multiplayer :) So she gets to ramble to Inigo as they both play!#In her mind this is basically forcing Minty to pay active attention to said homoerotic tension rather than passively watching 😎#But also she assumes that with Inigo’s demeanour he doesn’t want to be there :(#So also in her mind she is trapping Inigo into socialising more actively with her. Gaming is a cover for her desire to connect with him#After all it’s easy to say ‘heeey you promised you were gonna do a full playthrough with me >:(‘ and not ‘I really miss you’#Classic You Have No Name Poor CommunicationTM ✨✨✨✨#Inigo DOES want to be there wholeheartedly and sincerely derives enjoyment out of neurodivergent people monologuing about their interests#He loves his creachurs very much and that’s why he gets along so well with Dism and Cynthia! Inigo enjoys interesting people :)#Buuuuuuut he’s driven to suppress his feelings for Cynthia in particular because he’s trying to prevent having an attachment to her#Attachments lead him to get careless and hurt people :) Murder them even :) And then it hurts reeeaally bad :3#Of course this is where you can see the flaw in his logic#Why would he be trying to protect Cynthia from himself. If he didn’t already have an attachment to her in the first place <3#He doesn’t want Cynthy to ‘die’ bc he loves her. Inigo tries so hard to deny this fact in his head bc it defies his faulty belief system#he wants to keep indulging in the Lie born from his emotional Wound :3#In truth though feigning detachment makes him incredibly lonely and dissatisfied and ultimately hurts them both 💔#Cynthia doesn’t help in this either with her own ambitions to heal him hurt/comfort fanfic style for her own loneliness’s sake#So in conclusion fuck yeah codependent relationships ✨ truly a concoction of bottled up feelings#We love the drama hehehe. On some days I even prefer this over Dism and Archie’s mess just because of how natural and realistic it is#There’s no spiriters adding fuel to the fire and facilitating corruption this is just 100% flawed people doing flawed things!#…..Can you tell I was thinking of the moment where Cynthia and Inigo mend their relationship today 😭❤️
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eunhos · 5 months ago
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moe-broey · 9 months ago
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Why is it that every demisexual (and now demiromantic) pride projects I've attempted/worked on have given me endless hell trying to make them work like LMFAOOOO why are you cursed!!!!!!!!!!!!
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glittertimes · 9 months ago
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I hate how SSRIs give you awful side effects and you just have to wait it out to see if they’ll help 😭
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bibleofficial · 1 year ago
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i hate not being able to unpack like i NEED to get into a mf let agreement ASAP 😭😭
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#stream#also i love bags#yea i used dirty socks to clean up spilled beer fuck u#it’s literally midnight.30 & i told myself i’d be in bed an hour ago#girl i’m just#STILL IN THAT LIMBO OF WANTING TO SETTLE BUT FUCKING CANT#THAT IVE BEEN IN SINCE FUCKING JULY#& IM STILL IN IT 😭😭😭#i just want classes to start so bad i just need a fucking schedule so bad#also mondays will be miserable but it’s fine#literally i’ve a 9am then my last class ends at 7pm 😭😭😭😭#BC OF THE FUCKINNG JAPANESE !!!!!!!!! maybe i should’ve just done welsh#i’ve been wearing those pants for 3 days ALSKALKSALKSALSKLAKSLA#also i’ve been chainsmoking but we know that#i’m soooo tempted to get a vape but i just listened to a vape podcast today & did u know that vapes are the same thing as smoke machines#ALSKALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLQ#& some of the vape flavours literally … eat through the plastic petrie dishes#vaping episode of Science Vs#yes i’ve 2 water bottles bc they’re from tesco meal deals ALSKALSKALSLALSLALSKALSKALKSAL#that i haven’t even eaten literally all i’ve had since like 4 is 750ml of beer#& many cigarettes#girl i hate living in a ‘community’ like everyone ‘got a spare fag?’ like YES I DO :D then i give it away & go wait#i needed that#ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSALSKQL#I JUST LIKE BEING NICE !!!!! like of course my darling i’ve a smoke for u ❤️#don’t ask for a joint bc u ain’t gettin that from me#that will be my own holy water#once i get my hands on some weed …#girl i’m probably not even going to smoke here like ALSKALSKALSKALSKALKSALKSALS#i feel like i can wait until i go home for christmas like 😭😭😭
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queersociologist · 1 year ago
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I get sort of embarrassingly emotional when I find queer academics doing cool shit, like it's somewhere between envy and pride, admiration and astonishment, hope and fear. I want so badly to be a queer academic doing cool shit that I'm worried I'm setting myself up for disappointment if my disabilities and socioeconomic status keep me out. I feel so much pride when queers like me are out there doing the damned thing, and doing it well. I admire their ability to put forth crucial, pivotal work in their fields (especially when I realize I've BEEN using their work for over a year now, without really knowing who they are). I also, because of the mono/cis/hetero/abled-normative culture I was raised in, am amazed that people like me who defy these norms are getting the opportunity to do cool shit.
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delicateimage · 2 years ago
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I think I just twisted my ankle but oh well
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lucc4-luck · 7 days ago
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I'll have to go with my grandma to another city to make some exams on my arm to make a surgery!
There's some things I'll take with me! :3
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My sister's bag 🤭
A little purse with money
My headphones
My little signs in case I don't wanna talk using my voice (I rarely use them, but just in case)
A water bottle
And Fredbear! (Nah, white bear)
I'll need to wake up 04:00AM, last time I came back home 22:00PM 💀
Please wish me luck 'cause I don't want to have to wait for hours to be attended and it will be raining on the way there, and the last time the doctor who examined me moved and squeezed the module or tumor that I have in my arm and still had the audacity to say that it wasn't hurting, even though I was almost crying! >:(
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phagodyke · 21 days ago
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aouuugh my uterus......
#long long day at work codeine wasnt helping with cramps and my meds are less effective on my period :(#ive been doing okay most of the day tho just starting feeling kind of miserable omw home bc such a long wait at the bus stop in pain#and im kind of lonely at the moment but wont be able to climb tomorrow bc of cramps so thats my main social source gone :(#and it always feels worse at home bc if im having a hard time like in physical pain or feeling down my roommate cant rly handle it#like she cant rly be in the room with me the headphones go straight on. which is ok im realising its just how her type of autism works#so im trying not to get as upset at her abt it. with varying degrees of success but it just takes time#i mean i dont get upset AT her like ik its not her fault and i dont want her feeling like it is. I keep it internal + cry once im alone#just different social needs n boundaries innit. we're a bit incompatible is all#but its still hard. I'd like support from other ppl when I'm struggling i mean i think thats a fairly normal thing to want#but of the friends I would be comfortable talking to abt how i feel none of them have that kind of emotional availability#which again is ok like its not on them. and im very capable of dealing w my shit myself one way or another so its not a Need#but idk. it would just be nice. I feel like I've had to be so independent most of my teenage and adult life and I wish I could take a#break from that sometimes. even just a hug would be nice man#sorry i always come on here and talk abt the same problems... well youll see me do it again no doubt abt that 🫠#ughh and i feel so guilty for wanting things ppl cant give even though i know its not really my fault either and im allowed to want things#and i dont cross boundaries or make them feel bad abt it. i really hope i dont anyway. but still ahhh...#its so hard for me to feel connected to anyone if they cant rly engage w me emotionally at all like its a non negotiable#factor into closeness and trust for me and i get so frustrated bc i feel so distant and alienated from the ppl i care abt most#and ik i overreact bc of my rsd so maybe its just that its probably not even a real issue. but its real to me bc im the one who gets upset#man. anyway its okay just a really really long day. im gonna wash my dishes and then shower#and finish my book. maybe i should play some dead cells i miss it. i dont really want to think abt how i feel anymore#maybe ill see if anyones free to hang out tmr evening so i dont have to feel as lonely even if i cant leave the house after work#all good nice to have a plan anyway. done sniffling. my hot water bottle is helping thr cramps a littlr i think#.diaries#oh i dont think its helping actually ow. i took more codeine an hour ago why doesnt it do anything. not fairrr 😭
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the-acid-pear · 5 months ago
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Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.
#luly talks#my dreams#I'll peace like i can recollect it was weird#bc it literally was ME BUYING GROCERIES W MY DAD but then the line between when we ended and Michael and William started blurred#i remember the grocery store very well also bc it was very similar to the one i go always to but smaller and more sepia#it was dark for a grocery store like it was just letting sunlight in#pears were half off like some black friday offer so all the products were suuuper cheap#i saw one bottle of milky pear juice for like 1k. and the same w these 4 stacks of frozen waffles who were like 1070.#or this bottle of pear pancake mixture that had 2 or 4 lts#it was kind of when i went away that thr lines started blurring so let me tell you what i remember about this Afton:#he didnt seem. murderous. he was grocery shopping w his kid for fuck's sake 😭 i think he was even sitting somewhere while i ran back and#forth taken aback by these offers? like kinda dismissive at best#uh. Henry was brought up believe it or not. it was like... they broke up or something? like he was kinda upset about the mention but like#in a i dont want to explain why im not with him rn sort of way#very insecure he seemed. like he run into this woman who might've been someone but idk who was whom asked sbout henry and bro was SWEATING#you'd say dream william was a fucking loser he just got locked in thinking like what do i say and HOW do i say it#to make it sound casual but also not weird.#bc on top of all he also seemed to have some weird gender things going on bc he first instinct when trying to explain himself to the woman#(who i cannot stress enough was super friendly like a fucking neighbor or something just going hey hi! hows da family? ^_^)#was to refer to them both as girls as this jokey comradery Let's Ignore The Topic thing before going No That's Bad I Can't Say That#this whole internal monologue in my dream happened in a sort of comic panel thing btw where shit went from these warm browns and greens and#shit from the grocery store to jarring black and whites and reds as William tried to have a straight thought#looks wise unfortunately not a lot going on.though considering this was literally my dream getting turned over can we say my Afton is argie#something something my turn stealing from them etc etc or whatever#uh. brown hair. but not too dark. it was greying and that was making it lighter. also very angular face as you'd expect#high cheekbones pretty eyebrows no facial hair. hair was a bit longuish tho? like a messy ear length maybe?#he had a button up w buttons lose bc it's so hot and humid rn also sunglasses which i know 100% was influenced bc the last design i rbed#a little.before napping#also he had age makes too though his age was most visible in his scrawny long exposed neck#me/mike change was minimal bc we're both pale and brunette hit tag limit so hope y'all like my brain's oc i guess 😭
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kavehater · 5 months ago
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Kavehsidoeddksk
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blindedbystars · 1 year ago
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i reached too many tags so im writing the rest of my thoughts here hope you dont mind!
i loved the confrontation between heaven and tommy - like i said its born out of worry and comes from a good place initially but also because she's too unpredictable tommy can't control her the way he can everything else and that's one reason he doesn't like her
but also tommy believes himself cursed and maybe she represents that part of himself tommy is afraid of and her mentioning his son i know she's trying to help him but tommy is so untrusting it won't come across as anything other than a threat
and i know i keep saying this but i do like the little bits and pieces of her backstory she's such an intriguing character im looking forward to reading more about her
"you're here" / "told you id come back" 🥺😭😭 and "please tell me you're not scared of your arthur" this beauty and the beast situation but where they both think they're the beast "you look pretty with blood all on your face" so real girl i hear you
love that they both are same level of crazy for eahcother they want to eat eachother so bad love it
Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC
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Summary:  This is when things seem to get better with the Shelby family —at least with Polly— that a drunk client crosses the line with you at the Garrison. Haunted by his past insecurities and his burning jealousy, Arthur snaps. And he snaps very bad. For the first time since you've met, he reveals the beast he hides inside... And Tommy obviously uses the incident to blame you.
Words: 5k
TW: Angst, Obsessive behavior, extreme jealousy, graphic depiction of violence, murder, lot of blood, canonical violence, witch trial, allusions to smut, allusions to blood!kink, Arthur being an emotional and slightly psychotic mess
Notes:
✞ I don't condone Arthur's behavior. Also, keep in mind that Heaven is certainly a bit twisted too.
✞ Heaven is OP's original character but written with the use of « you » (Moodboard here).
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PREVIOUS CHAPTER || Masterlist || NEXT
The sound of your heels hammering the cold pavement of Small Heath echoed in the nocturnal streets as you walked to the Garrison. Even though the expansion of the Shelby Company led the family’s interests away from the pub, they still hold the place dear to their hearts and sometimes they liked gathering there for old times' sake. Especially Arthur. Hence, rather than staying at home, reading in front of the fireplace, and dwelling on Polly’s odd behavior at the last family gathering, you decided to occupy your buzzing mind by surprising Arthur at the pub. A raven flew above your head and cawed, its presence stirring interest in you for he had followed you from the moment you had left your house. As you walked to the Garrison, you took a quick glance at the black bird’s silhouette, which was perched on a roof a few houses away. 
"Silly boy, want to tell me something?" You told to it, amused. The animal, dressed with dark feathers, replied with another caw. You chuckled and kept walking.
The white dress and fur coat you were wearing contrasted so well with the dull night that the few people you passed were not sure what they had just seen. Indeed, the moon's glow reflected its light on your porcelain skin, adorning your frail body with an almost supernatural aura. That was why some of them thought they had caught sight of an angel, just like Arthur did the first time you and he met.
When the dark wooden door of the Garrison opened, its noise overcoming the laughter, chatting, and sounds of glasses clinking against each other, a soft wave of warmth caressed your cold face. You had barely stepped inside when people almost all turned around, many pairs of eyes weighing on you. Curious and dumbstruck gazes looked at you, wondering what such a holy-looking creature was doing here — but you did not really care. Your petrifying aquamarine iris swept the room to become familiar with the place before you headed to the counter behind which you saw Arthur’s tall frame. The man was back to you, talking with his little boss-brother Thomas. Awesome, you thought, little King Shelby is here. Sarcasm filled your head at the mere sight of him. To be true, you were well aware that Thomas was always doing his best to avoid you, but it did not annoy you. Quite the contrary, you were more than satisfied with never seeing him — you still did not come to terms with him trying to strangle you after all. Nevertheless, you leaned over the counter, arms resting on its varnished wooden surface, and parted your juicy lips to speak. 
“Good evening, Mister Shelby. Care to serve me a drink?” 
Arthur’s whole being shivered with delight as soon as he recognized the enchanting and oh-so-peculiar tone of your voice — the same voice that had led him to you one bleak and sleepless night. Shaken to the core by your presence, he forgot about Tommy the moment you had started to speak and turned around to face you, the corner of his lips stretching in a genuine and blissed smile. Each time his steel blue eyes fell on you, it was as if God's grace struck him — even though you were living together. The thrills you gave him never left.
“Good evening, love. What is such a delicious little Angel like you doing here? It’s a bad town for such a pretty face ye know.” He almost cooed with his hoarse voice, his hands on the bar and his eyes sparkling with a teasing gleam.
“Fell from the sky and got lost in these streets, so I just followed the light.” Your fingers grazed the back of his hand and went up its skin, leaving pleasant tingles in their trail, until they reached one of the many rings he was wearing. The simple gesture, barely touching him, lit up a blazing fire in his soul. Thomas looked at Arthur and quickly understood that no matter what he would say or do, he held no power over his older brother anymore, “Evening, Tommy.” You said, finally acknowledging him.
“Thomas. It’s Thomas.” He retorted with a voice as cold as an arctic blizzard that could freeze Hell’s inferno itself. He stubbed out his cigarette in the nearest ashtray and left without any single word, his shadow disappearing in the streets as he left the Garrison, for your sole presence seemed to bother him. Well, at least his opinion about you did not change. However, the lack of peculiar reaction from him reassured you: Polly had not told him what happened to the tea party yet.
“Don’t mind him eh,” 
You did not.
“I should probably give you one hell of a strong drink if you fell from Eden… Miss?”
“Heaven Lavey.” You winked, enjoying his silly way of hitting on you as if it was the first time you met, “A glass of red wine would do the trick… And the barman’s heart.” Your teasing grin widened, unveiling perfect white teeth. Arthur let out a long exhale through his nostrils, enraptured by your whole being. From your smile to your bratty pout, you got him on his knees. Each time he would dive his eyes into yours, his heart would quicken in his chest and dopamine would rush through his veins — who would want to keep taking drugs after tasting you? Not even himself. He was already high enough by your presence in his life and God knew he never wanted to sober up from you.
“As you wish.” He leaned over the counter to lay a tender kiss on your forehead. The way his mustache gently tickled your skin made you chuckle. How sweet he was, not afraid to lavish you with sweetness even in front of other people. Then, he gathered all his strength to pull away from you and take care of your order — which was nearly impossible to do, for you were both attracted to each other like two powerful magnets. But still, he did and then poured the finest red wine the Garrison had in a glass before putting it in front of you. Then, he leaned a second time over the counter to bring his face close to yours again, “as for my heart,” he paused, his eyes abandoning yours to drop on your full lips he watched with utmost desire, “You already snatched it, angel.” 
“You’re incorrigible, Arthur Shelby.” You could not help but laugh when you noticed that, as you spoke, his focus was still fiercely anchored to your lips. The urge he had to devour them was almost palpable, electrifying the air around him. Yet, you resisted the need to kiss him, rather bringing your small hands to his neck to fix his bow tie with indescribable tenderness. The pair of eyes that were watching you since your arrival could not believe that you had managed to tame the brutal Arthur Shelby — how he behaved with you was so different from the way he was with the others it almost scared them, “I hope you like this little surprise.”
“You can’t imagine how much I do.” He purred, grabbing your hands and putting them on his cheeks. How he loved feeling your cold skin against his. You cupped his face, looking right into his fair eyes with a never-ending love, and he instantly melted. His eyelids half-closed, for you had brought peace to his scorching soul again, “Lemme clean a few things and we’ll go back home eh.”
“Take your time. Je t’attends mon amour — I’ll wait for you my love —“
“Yer comfy here?”
“Arthur,” Your eyes rolled, amused.
“Want a cushion to sit on? Want to wait in a quieter room?” 
“That’s okay.”
“Mmm’kay” 
You freed his face from your sweet grip, leaving him lingering for more. When he reopened his eyes he could not hold the little growl that escaped his lips for you had not kissed him. He blinked several times, trying to chase away the charm you had cast on him with your sole presence, and reluctantly left you. Stars still danced in front of his eyes because of your intoxicating beauty — so hypnotizing he struggled to come back to what he was doing before.
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Waiting did not bother you. In fact, you preferred to wait for hours here, in the comforting warmth of the pub and its hullabaloo, rather than being left alone with your thoughts in the quietness of your house. Sipping on your red wine, you were minding your own business when a man sat next to you, his body collapsing on the stool as if walking had been quite a struggle for him. Which was probably the case considering he was drunk. Only a few people were still at the Garrison, the others went home stumbling or dragged away by a fellow friend. The suffocating smell of whiskey and sweat that was emanating from the newcomer made you wrinkled your nose.
“Hey doll, all alone by yourself? ”  The man said, bringing the whiskey glass to his chapped lips to gulp what was left in it. You glanced at him and simply nodded, not really wanting to do any kind of conversation, “Your glass is almost empty. Lemme buy you another one.” 
“I really appreciate it but that’s fine.” You answered with a polite smile — but even when doing the bare minimum your angelic traits never failed to captivate your audience. The man noticed your strong accent and saw the opportunity to carry on with the conversation.
“You come from France eh? I fought in France! Bloody hell, still got the mud of this country under my nails!” 
Maybe he talked a little bit too loud, or maybe Arthur’s senses were as sharp as a wolf’s, but the fact remains he immediately raised his eyes from what he was doing to watch over you. His steel blue iris shifted their attention from you only to cast their furious fire on the drunk man that was talking to you. His woman.
“You know, I always thought it was kind of sad that all the people here only link France with the war. This is a beautiful country.” You answered, taking another sip of red wine. Somehow, you allowed yourself to talk with the man. At least time would probably fly faster that way.
“If France’s as beautiful as ya, I’ll rush back to it by tomorrow, doll. The name’s Jim.”
You silently replied to him with a light smile, gently shaking your head at the fella’s attempt to compliment you.
You smiled at Jim — And Arthur broke the glass he was holding in his hand. It had been crushed by the pressure with which he had tightened his grip around it until it shattered into bits. Sharp pieces of glass had pierced Arthur’s flesh, blood dripping from his palm, but the tormenting anger that was building within him was so overwhelming he did not even feel the pain. As seconds passed, his face contorted with rage and his eyes darkened with jealousy.  You. Smiled. At. Him.
That was definitely not okay — the man did not deserve your blissful smile. 
Deafened by the sound of his own heart pounding in his tight chest, Arthur swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat in a vain attempt to keep control. To not let his anger issue show. The rational part of his mind was telling him to keep calm, for he knew you loved him and only him. You had told him plenty of times, after all. And he trusted you, really. But the other part, led by his insecurities and his mental instability, whispered foul insinuations to his ear.
Why would she stay with such a criminal like you? You’re sick. You’re old. You’re broken — and no one loves broken men. 
You’re stupid, far less clever and charming than Tommy. HE is a real man. 
You either scare or repel women. Linda told you. You don’t deserve Heaven. 
Useless. So useless… Broken. Crazy, you’re fucking crazy. She’ll see what you are. A monster. Monster. Monster. 
Arthur’s jaw clenched as his mind spiraled into a never-ending maze of whipping thoughts and insufferable feelings. Self-loathing was becoming too much to bear — so messy it had started to drown him. He felt his sanity slowly slipping through the cracks of his skull and the only thing he could to do make it stop was to break things. And by things he meant Jim. 
“Listen, Jim. I think you should go back home and rest. This is the whiskey talking.” You stated.
“Only if you come home with me, doll.” He ought to say, his grin widening. 
Breathless with rage, Arthur felt the heat pooling in his face. A few drops of sweat beaded on his forehead as he shook his wounded hand to clear his flesh from the shards of glass.
“You really should —“
“Come home with me and I’ll make you beg.” He cut off before you had time to turn his invitation down , bringing his hand on one of your thighs to strengthen his point.
Destructive anger flowed through his veins like lava,  exploding at the moment the man laid a finger upon you. Agile like a wild cat, Arthur jumped over the counter and rushed toward you, his shoulders tensed and his arms swinging as he walked.  Earth shook under his feet, opening the gates of Hell more and more at each of his steps. 
“AL-FUCKING-RIGHT THEN,” He blurted out, standing fiercely behind Jim. Arthur’s thundering voice almost made him jump — and it was enough for him to take his hand off your thigh and turned around to meet the Devil’s eyes. You froze on your stool, astounded by your man’s anger.
His face distorted with both fear and confusion at the sight of Arthur Shelby, green with jealousy and maddened with fury, “What the fookin hell did ya say, pal? WHAT THE FOOK DID YOU SAY TO ME WOMAN?” He roared, blue eyes shining with a threatening glow. At this point, Arthur was almost choking with rage. 
“Oh my God Arthur, I did not know she was your woman. I’m sorry! I really did not —“ Jim could not finish his sentence for Arthur had grabbed him by the neck and dragged him away from you in front of the few last clients' terrified looks.
“You TOUCHED her! You bloody touched her, ME ANGEL. ME HEAVEN. I can’t fucking believe it,” He spat, his words coated with bitter venom. Swirling in the chaotic vortex of his own fury, he did not hear the man’s bargains. And somehow, he did not care. There was nothing he could say to stop him anymore. Jim tried to utter another apology.
He had barely opened his mouth when Arthur’s fist crushed his nose with such a violent blow the sound of broken bones echoed through the Garrison. The man, almost knocked out by the uppercut, crashed on the wooden floor, a jet of blood gushing from his face, “Oi! Thought you fought in France. Come on, bastard! Fight me!” He snarled, teeth bared like a wild animal.
He’s going to kill him. That was what crossed your mind when you came back to your senses, overcoming the shock of seeing Arthur in such a frenzy state. You got up from your stool, “Arthur… Stop it please.” You called him, trying to be as soft as possible not to fan the flames of his anger. 
“I AM NOT GONNA STOP!” He barked, looking at you.
He looked at you 
and you saw the Hell in his eyes.
“Heard how he dared to talk to ye? Ah, you wanted to make me angel beg eh?” Arthur kneeled over the whimpering man, almost straddling his quivering body, to grab him by the collar of his coat, “Yeah that’s what you said right. But trust me, you sonofabitch, I’m the one who’ll make you beg!” He yelled, sending another powerful blast to the man’s face with his fists as sole weapons, adorned with thick silver rings. “BEG, YOU BASTARD!”
“P-please—“
Another disgusting sound of torn flesh and cracking skull filled the room. “By order —“ A third punch. Breaking teeth. Jim spat three of them at your feet. “Of the —“  Fourth. Fifth. His knuckles bruised and split under the strength of his blows but Arthur could not care less. All he wanted was to reduce Jim’s face to an unidentifiable slop of flesh.  “Peaky —“  Dislocated jaw hanging loosely. The horrible sight was accompanied by the cacophony of bloody gurgles. “Fookin — “ Jim had lost count of the punches that rained down on him. All he knew was that his body was giving up. At one point Arthur Shelby had stopped beating him, only to unstrapped the combat knife he kept in his holster, “BLINDERS!” 
“ARTHUR NO!!!”  Running to the scene and falling on your knees, you managed to grab his hands and keep him from stabbing the drunk man, “Don’t do that, please I need you. Please, please stop it.” 
Please.
Your voice, like a light piercing the thick veil of his darkness, snatched him from his murderous craze. Waking up by the smell of blood mixed with your sweet spring-like perfume, Arthur stopped in the midst of what he was doing and realized he was holding a knife above his head, ready to plunge it into a man’s chest. He took a look at you, noticing the shocked expression on your holy face, and all his anger disappeared into a void. His fingers loosened around the knife, which fell on the wooden floor with a metallic noise, “please Arthur, calm down… Call down, Mon amour.” You whispered, begging him with your eyes. Silence fell on the Garrison, as well as in his mind. The maddening voices had stopped and the buzzing hatred had vanished. Arthur left the unconscious man and collapsed in your arms, panting and shaking. Adrenaline made you shiver too, but you gently hugged his frame, one hand stroking his hair, “That’s okay… I’m here …”  You repeated just like a healing chant as a few men grabbed the severely injured victim and took him away from the pub.
“I’m … I’m sorry— Heaven, oh my god —“ Arthur stuttered, slowly realizing what he just did. He buried his face in your breasts, for comfort as well as to hide the blood that had splattered on him. He barely dared to hug your frail body for fear of breaking you.  Sometimes, he swore he had hell in his hands and he did not want to bring you down in the flames with him. 
“Shhhh… Breathe in. Breathe out. You can do it.”  You said with a soothing tone. With divine softness, you ran your fingers through his hair, not minding the blood he smeared on your clothes and bosom, “that’s okay, you’re a good boy..” But as you were trying to chase away your man’s demons, a far too familiar voice echoed in the room.
“What the fuck is this mess?!” Thomas Shelby exclaimed for he had just entered the Garrison, John by his side. His freezing blue eyes looked at you from above.  The king was here and he hated what he saw.
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“John, bring Arthur home. Everyone OUT.” 
This was all it took to empty the Garrison from its remaining clients. When John gently put his hand on his older brother’s shoulder, Arthur’s embrace tightened around your tiny silhouette for he did not want to leave you.  “No,” he managed to beg between two heartbreaking sobs. His face still hidden, not daring to look at you for fear of seeing disgust and anger in your eyes, Arthur refused to let you go. Somehow, he was convinced you would not go back home — why would you after what you had just witnessed? “Don’t take me away from her!”  He said, a bit more fiercely, which resulted in John taking a few steps back and looking at you, silently begging you to help him. In the midst of the chaos, only you could bring him back to his senses. A brief sigh escaped from your lips before you gently forced Arthur to look at you.
“Listen, chéri. I need you to go back home and calm down. I’ll be very quick.” 
“No, no, you won’t come back.” 
“ I’ll do,” You wiped away his tears with your thumbs, accidentally smearing more blood on his face doing so, “and when I do, I’ll take care of you alright? I’ll keep you warm and loved.” Punctuating your sentence with affection, you slicked his hair back with a frail but oh-so-loving grin on your face. He finally accepted.
When he left alongside John, your smile vanished and you got up from the floor, legs still slightly shaking. Thomas was still standing in the middle of the pub, towering you with all his height, and looking at you with his cold eyes. His chilling stare followed your movements as you walked to the bar and poured yourself another glass of wine.
“I told you to keep a low profile,” He began. Thomas Shelby’s voice was dressed in an apparent quiet, but something in his tone was threatening — and even though he did not display any sign of emotion, you knew his blood was boiling.
“Oh come on Thomas, all I wanted was to make a surprise to Arthur.” You took a mouthful of wine — the much-needed alcohol calming your anxiety.
Thomas closed his eyes for a few seconds and pinched the bridge of his nose to stop his dawning headache, “ A surprise… I hope you like the result then,” He retorted, before shifting his eyes back to you,
“Listen, I know you don’t like me but — ” 
“He nearly killed someone for you. What the fuck are you doing to my brother, eh?” Tommy slightly tilted his head to the side, a spark of resentment lightening up his icy iris. You remained silent, still not believing Thomas was really blaming you for Arthur’s outburst. Of course, you had not reacted immediately, but the shock had petrified you for a few long minutes — but was it your fault if he had beaten the man? Certainly not. At this point, Tommy was just lashing out at you for all the issues his family was facing. It was far easier than admitting his own flaws and responsibility. Visibly infuriated by your silence,  Tommy walked to you and stopped only a few inches from you, trapping your body between the counter and his own strong frame. He was close — so close your breasts were almost pressed against his chest, “Look me in the eyes when I fucking talk to you, Heaven.” He spat your name with disgust, as if he had just bitten into an apple filled with maggots.
“Get my pretty name out of your mouth,” You looked dagger at him, anger rushing through your veins at such an unwanted proximity. Yet you did not flicker.
“You fucking white Devil,” He hissed through his teeth, his low voice still calm in spite of his blooming hatred, “Are you happy to spread chaos in our life? What do you want from us ey?” He leaned over you, bringing his face closer to yours. With his brows slightly furrowed, Tommy’s sky blue eyes were probing yours, trying to understand the mystery they hid behind their aquamarine wonders, ”What do you want from me?! After Arthur is this me you want to control??” He growled. Your heart raced in your chest — shivers ran down your spine, and goosebumps appeared on your porcelain skin, for his unpredictable behavior was starting to worry you.
“I don’t want anything from you Thomas Shelby. Whether you like it or not I’m being honest with your brother. You know Arthur’s emotional, you can’t blame me for that.  You take away his meds, turn him into a killer, and now you’re surprised he snaps?? How. Fucking. Unbelievable! Do you know what I think? Well, I think you need me to be your scapegoat . You need to blame me for your sins. For everyone’s sins.”
“Fucking burn in hell,” He spat again but could not find something to retort properly. It seemed like the skies gave you the gift of shutting Thomas Shelby's mouth. Instead, one of his hands grabbed you by the neck and forced your face to get closer to his. His breath fanned over your skin, as burning as a dragon’s fire.
“Be careful with the Rule of Three, Thomas. For each spell you cast always returns to you three times stronger.”  You whispered. Then you gathered all your remaining strength to push him away from you, his musky and peculiar perfume almost making your head spin.  Not wanting to stay here any longer — and also longing for a hot shower to wash away the blood from your skin —, you headed to the Garrison’s door. Obviously, Tommy’s eyes followed you but he did not say anything, muted by his resentment. Admittedly, he was torn between the urge to bounce on you and the desire to see you leave. You were about to disappear, the cold breeze of the night jumping at your face and rushing into the pub as you opened the wooden door. But your instincts kicked in. After a few seconds of hesitation, you finally decided to warn little king Shelby.
“By the way..." You looked at Thomas from above your shoulder.
"You should keep an eye on Charles. You really should.” 
He froze. Confused and infuriated.
You left. Hurt and bitter.
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When you came back home, you crossed your reflection in the corridor’s mirror.  Your body refused to work anymore and forced you to stop in front of it. Facing your own person was something you hated. With trembling fingers, you brushed the blood stain Arthur had left on one of your cheeks.
Mom! Mom, no!!
I’ll fucking kill you all!!
You clenched your jaw at the memory it triggered, but still, you kept looking at your tainted ivory skin as if you were slowly learning to come to terms with what you did and what you were. Your fingers trailed down your throat until they grazed the top of your bosom, where the blood had accumulated the most. Another painful memory assaulted your mind, replaying the aching, almost inhuman screams of your little sister when her flesh had been eaten alive by the hungry tongues of the pyre’s flames.
Only God knew how you managed to keep your mind from spiraling into the darkest pits of your trauma, but you did — maybe that was because Arthur needed you. That protective instinct was stronger than your own pain. That was why you tricked your body into moving away from the mirror and went upstairs to take a hot shower before joining your man in bed. John had probably managed to convince him to sleep. Or his body had collapsed on the mattress, exhausted by the energy poured in his latest outburst.
As the running water of the shower was filling the bathroom with its regular and soothing noise, you slowly let your white dress slip along your body until it fell on the floor, as well as your lace panties. You stepped over the pile of clothes and, without waiting any longer, you hopped under the shower and welcomed its warm water with utter joy. A sigh of relief escaped from your lips as you tilted your head back, water hugging your body and raining down on your long white mane that cascaded down your lower back. You almost managed to empty your mind when, suddenly, one gentle calloused hand brushed your hip. Jumping in surprise, you turn around and saw that Arthur had joined you under the shower. His hands, arms, and face were still splattered with half-dried blood he had not cleaned. To be true, he had been too busy curling up on the bedroom floor, panicking about at the idea of you leaving him after what you had witnessed.
“You’re here…” His gravel voice said, water falling on his naked body whose millions of freckles drew magnificent constellations on his skin.
“Told you I’d come back.”  
He smiled, softly. His steel blue had stopped avoiding you and was now firmly anchored in yours.
 He took a step toward you.
You stepped back in response until your bare body met the cold shower wall.
Your pulse quickened, fascinated by the way Arthur looked. He had something in his eyes — a mix of limerence and pure madness who, combined with the crimson stains on his face, made your legs weak. His breath was slow but yours soon became erratic, even though he had barely touched you yet. 
“You ain’t scared, love? Please, tell me you ain’t scared of your Arthur…” He said, his lower lip trembling as his body perfectly interlocked with yours. A small growl escaped from his throat at the intoxicating sensation of yours curves pressed against his skin. But despite his inextinguible desire, he still looked at you with hesitation and genuine guilt — his puppy eyes would surely break anyone’s heart.
“No, I’m not scared,” You replied, not shifting your gaze from him. The corner of your juicy and honey lips stretched in a small grin, “You…” You paused, bringing one hand to his stained cheek, “you look pretty with blood all over your face.”  
Arthur’s eyes lightened with both surprise and ravaging desire, for you had witnessed the beast’s violence but still thought he was attractive. A twisted wave of arousal shook you to the core when he bared his teeth in a vaguely dangerous but oh-so-seductive smirk.
“Oh bloody hell, angel…” Not finishing his sentence, his lips captured yours in a fury kiss for he could not wait any longer. The need to possess you, to feel you, was too devastatingly strong to resist. At first, his lustful kiss surprised you, and even though you burnt for him l, a part of you felt it was wrong to feel this kind of twisted attraction. Last thing Arthur needed was someone encouraging his violence — but your brain soon shut down at the thought he did it for you. Only you. Your arms locked up around his neck to deepen the waltz of your tongues, sending fireworks in your loins. It was far than enough to turn Arthur on who, all of sudden, lifted you from the ground as if you weighted nothing.
You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, already suffocating with the hungry way he devoured your mouth and the shower’s steam accumulating around you.
As water rained down on your two intertwined bodies, it washed away the blood from your skins. The tainted liquid disappeared down the drain, leaving pale red stains on the bathtub's immaculate marble. 
You kissed him harder. Rougher. Until his flesh dived into yours in an explosion of pleasure and shooting stars.
For you had seen the Hell in his eyes, and loved it anyway. 
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Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.
Each chapter of this series can be read as stand-alones but I advise you to read everything if you want a better understanding of details.
Tagging those who might be interested: @areyenotfondofmelobster @meowtastick @babayaga67 @sired-to-hybrid @shelbyssins @kxnnxyasdfg @adaydreamaway08
#first off sorry i love that gif sorry if its weird#what is it about a man covered in blood#im with heaven on this crows are friends not bad omens leave them alone theyre just silly little guys#heaven is braver than me if i walked into a pub full of men and they all turned and stared as i walked in i would turn tf around#or just combust there on the spot eeewwwww dont look at me#little king shelby is such a cute name its like if tommy was one of the scrappy little dogs#i can only imagine them flirting like this and everyone else at the bar just starts staring off in other directions#two are looking down at the same pint ones counting the cracks in the wall one is just straight turned around#“ thomas its thomas ” bitch😒#you let billy kimber call you a tart and alfie called you a silly little boy but she cant call you tommy bitch#their back and forth banter is so cute and silly and soppy#it suits arthur is a funny way#“ want a cushion to sit on ” hes so cute like i can imagine him walking around trying to find the best!! pillow#as soon as that man sat down i just KNEW what was coming omg its like these people dont live here#“ i fought in france ” if arthur wasnt so angry hed walk over in a sarcastic voice like “ wE aLl FoUgHT iN fRaNCe ”#still got the mud under me nails is not a flex bro wash or something#arthur smashing the glass (me reading) here we go...#heaven: youre the most jealous man i know arthur: you know other men?!#the fact hes trying to keep himself calm is progress! b4 arthur would have just fucked the guys head off the man#and then bottled him for good measure#arthur mate shes clearly soooooooo into you like *squidward voice* we fuck monsters here sir#love how you describe his anger and how it affects him! i do think a lot of arthurs anger is internalised insecurity#arthurs anger is explosive and all consuming#but comes as quick as it goes and hes left weighed down by everything that hurts him thats hiding under his anger#“ thats okay youre a good boy ” .........😳.......no comment on that *clears throat*...moving on#arthur begging not to be separated from her 😭😭😭#tommy thinks what hes doing is for the best because its born from worry and him wanting to protect them#especially with their upbringing#and arthur despite being the eldest is arguably the easiest influenced#and vulnerable
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sanchoyo · 10 months ago
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annoyed I’m not getting as many hours as I’d like at work bc when I started they were giving me mad overtime 😔 ik it’s probably the holidays but at this rate it’s gonna take me (materialistic) forever to get the things I want and actually need ☹️ tentatively once again considering if I’d have enough self discipline to do something like a patreon before remembering I hate putting stuff behind paywalls 😭
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bibleofficial · 9 months ago
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on a first date, during a lull in conversation: so what’s ur blood type xx
#stream#ALSKALSKAKSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA#it wasn’t even a date it was just mess#but it only lasted like 2.5hr thank god it’s so funny i love being messy he’s so easy to antagonize#but he’s sooo boring sexually i guess idk i was just bored the whole time i guess i mean i was sober & didn’t plan on us coming back here#like girl i told u it was a mess but truthfully not the worst#like not many would say it was ‘a mess’ but to me it was TRASHY#not nearly as bad as it was but that’s not the point#bed was unmade which made me :( like bro … idk i just like making my bed i was alrdy LATE but also that’s the usual#i would LOVE to be early but like at the same time if i’m late im not upset like ‘let’s set expectations where they should be: if we need to#meet at 8 let’s agree to meet at 7.30 & then secretly it’ll be 8#i got in his car then i was asking him like 40 questions as i do then he asks me 1 & i go ‘well aren’t u a bit nosey’#this is also us in a car. driving#he said ‘do u want to go for a drink’ so me being an alcoholic & purposely not getting the message bc in british that just means let’s have#sex but it’s not even like ‘we’ll meet at a bar first’ it’s just we’re meeting for sex & it annoys me but also i’m like YES PLEASE LETS GET#DRINKS 😭😭😭#so i brought 2 bottles of wine bc i was like ok so we’ll drink somewhere but i don’t have a cork opened#or like opener but also good bc whichever the blue 1 was that i finally got open was absolutely disgusting top tier worst things ive put#into my body#but anyway#also we used a condom so :( but also he says he’s on prep on his profile but he’s not but also i was like ‘i can go get tested we don’t have#to have sex it’s ok’ bc like he was rly wanting me to have been on prep idk he was just worried then i stopped to get the condom too like i#INSISTED which i like that i did bc …. i don’t think he cleaned an#anyway#ALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA i messaged him like idk 30min after i got back from walking him to his car up the street saying ‘had a great time’ etc he#just left it on read BUT BEFORE HE LEFT I FOUND OUT HES A ROYALIST & A TORY 😭😭😭😭#like AKSKALKSLAKSLAKSL GIRL WJY 😭😭😭😭#‘it’s british heritage …’ ur grandfather was spanish ? 😭😭😭#so kinda hope he doesn’t message back but it does make me laugh#he’s just very easy to get riled up & i think it’s hysterical
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babylion · 1 year ago
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fict1onallyobsessed · 4 days ago
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OKAY OKAY COULD YOU PLEASE WRITE SMTH ABOUT SEVIKA PROTECING READER BECAUSE OF SOMETHING LIKE HERE ON THIS PIC SHE PROTECTS JINX AND ISHA??
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im sorry if i wrote something wrong but english is not my first language😭🙏
OF COURSE !!!!!!! I have an idea for this...
I got a little carried away and gave you more LOL sorry
Sevika x Fem!Reader
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She grabbed you before you could process the fan being turned on. Thankfully, you weren't too far from the table that protected you both, otherwise you would have been swept with the air flow violently.
Your side hurt. The shot Caitlyn took must have not only pierced your skin but the force broke your rib too. Whatever the gun was made of was strong enough to go through the stone pillar behind you partially as well.
Safe to say it hurt as fuck.
You clutched your side and winced as Sevika crouched with you in front of her, the stone table keeping you sat up, but barely. Sevika's new metal arm grabbed onto the table and kept her put, the other going to hold your side with you.
You weren't sure whether your adrenaline was keeping you lucid or if the shot wasn't truly that bad. Regardless, you didn't want to hang around much longer.
You looked up at your girlfriend, head slightly bouncing off the stone behind you as you rested it. She looked worried, and although nothing but pain was filling your sense, you found the energy to sigh and show her a small smile.
Her hair was flying around with the wind, her face showing slight worry and mostly focus as she tried to keep you both behind the table.
"You'll be fine." She mouthed, and you couldn't do much more but nod. You trusted her. You believed her...but the blood slowly seeping through the cracks of your fingers, and onto her hand covering yours, it was looking more like you were not going to be fine.
The wind seemed everlasting and the longer you sat there, waiting for it to stop, the dizzier you became.
You wanted to see Sevika's face for as long as you could. Taking in her scowl of concentration, the barely noticeable glint of nervousness in her eye when she met yours, the shiny scar across her cheek.
You thought she was leaning down to get out of the wind more, but instead she leaned down to your ear and spoke through the loud fan.
"Don't look at me like that." She spoke it as a command as her hand squeezed your bleeding side.
"Like what?" You scoffed quietly, immediately feeling the burn in your rib.
"Like you're about to say goodbye. You're fine."
You hummed and looked back up at her when she pulled away, leaving no room for discussion.
She was so gorgeous, holding you, protecting you, as if you were about to disappear any minute.
Your head spun so much you didn't even notice the fan turn off. Sevika lifted you off the ground and instructed Jinx, who was also carrying a girl, where to go. It all came out as muffled to you though, as the blood loss slowly stared winning, and you passed out.
When you woke up, the first thing you saw was two heads looking down at you. Jinx's braids tickled your nose, while the other girls hair wasn't even long enough to reach her eyebrows. You groaned, immediately going in to hold your side as a reflex to find it bandaged.
"I told you to let her rest." Sevika's voice rung out in a disappointed tone as she walked in with a bunch of fresh bandages in her hand. Presumably for you.
You were in Silco's office, laid down on his sofa. The table was covered with medical supplies, alcohol bottles and jinx's crafts, but your eyes ended up laying upon Sevika. Her worried expression had you worried.
"How are you feeling?" Sevika asked, looking down at you as she put the obnoxious amount of wraps on the table.
"Trust you to get shot." Jinx scoffed playfully as she stared down at you, knowing damn well that bullet was meant for her. "Took it like a champ though!"
You chuckled back and attempted to sit up, but Sevika was faster and pushed you back down, shaking her head.
"I'm fine." You spoke, but Sevika wouldn't relent. She kept you laying down as she changed your bandages carefully. Your eyes fell from Sevika onto the little girl who was still staring down at you. "Who would have thought Jinx took in a stray. What's your name?"
"Her name is Isha. She's sticking around." Jinx replied matter-of-factly, a small smirk on her face as she said it. It made you giggle a bit.
"Alright, out." Sevika stood up from crouching beside you as she finished your bandages. Jinx took Isha and left, excited to show her some of her trinkets to get her mind off of...recent events. "She needs to rest."
"I'm alright." You spoke, reaching out for Sevika's hand to help you up. "How bad was it?"
"Bad enough to have me worried." She sighed, sitting beside you and letting you lean on her.
"Sorry." You sighed back, almost identically. "And you know, thank you."
She wrapped her hand around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head.
"Anytime."
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