#i wanna cosplay him just for shits and giggles

[forestguardianstudios]

Guys...I shouldn't be allowed creative freedom and a video editing software..

This is fucking stupid.

But it's also really funny

I didn't have the gijinkas to draw it so I just...edited the photos over them so it's like one of those old "(insert show) characters as Vines" and I kinda fw that

Anyways now I have like 30 pictures off Pinterest to delete off my phone teehee

[todayisafridaynight]

getting wigs for characters with the same hair color as myself make me feel like the biggest dumbass around but youd have me fucked thinking im burdening myself with daigos 2000's emo cut just for a weekend

[gingerteafairy]

𝙣𝙤𝙣 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙩𝙥 (𝙧𝙤𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙝𝙚𝙛𝙛𝙡𝙚𝙮 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧)

Rodrick tries to get your attention, even if he had to cosplay of your non canon otp.

tags n warnings: fluff, nerdy!reader, death note references, cosplay, suggestive, perv!rodrick, shy!reader. word count: 1.5k

Rodrick Heffley sort of hated you. 

Okay, not really. It wasn’t that Rodrick hated you—you weren’t fake or mean, or some weirdo who would make him cringe. You were just... well, weird. He’d totally clocked that you had a crush on him after, like, a minute. It was obvious.

The blushes when he walked by, the borderline embarrassing comments on his Instagram—it was like a neon sign. But you were cute. Annoyingly cute. With your big sunshine smiles, dorky jokes, and all that awkward eye contact whenever you bumped into each other at school. 

He gave you hell about being “weird.” But he liked it. Actually, loved it. This perv already pictured you in dozens of sexual scenarios with imaginary reactions he’d love to see. Like, would you be all shy when he took off his clothes or would you laugh if you got into some creative position? Would your glasses be foggy? He really wanted to see you with nothing but your glasses on.

You were just a girl giggling at his Instagram posts. His story, of course, featured him slumped on a museum bench, arms crossed, staring at some abstract painting like it had personally offended him. The caption? “Modern art is dead. Let me out.”

You knew better than to expect a sweet reply. It was either ghosting or snarky comebacks. Spoiler alert—you got the snarky reply.

But seeing him in person? Still the worst thing ever.

Which is exactly why you froze when you spotted him one afternoon, sitting lazily on the steps of his front porch. He looked perfectly disheveled in his black metal band shirt, one leg stretched out, his back leaned casually against the doorframe. Like a damn indie rock album cover.

Your brain screamed nope, but your feet had already carried you halfway past his house before—

"Hey, dorky.”

Rodrick’s voice broke through your panic like a needle to a balloon. You skidded to a halt, eyes wide. Slowly, you turned, clutching the strap of your bag for dear life.

“Hey…” you squeaked, adjusting your glasses.

Rodrick smirked, pushing off the steps. “You think I’m a ghost or something? You walk past here like I don’t exist.”

Your cheeks burned. “I—uh—I didn’t see you.”

“Totally believable.” Rodrick’s smirk grew. “You said you bought a Misa costume, remember? Wig and everything. And also the whole limited edition of the dolls and stuff.”

You blinked, horrified and excited at the same time.“I—I didn’t think you’d remember that.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He tilted his head, hands shoved in his pockets.

“I don't know…”

“Relax. It’s kinda sick, actually.” His gaze flicked over you like he was sizing you up. “You’d look good as Misa.”

“Really?” you jumped, clapping your hands. “I'll dress up like her everyday and I already bought her necklace.”

“You’re so awkward,” he teased, voice softer. “C’mon. What’s the rush? You’re always running past here like I’m gonna bite. Unless…”

You stared at him, unsure if your heart was about to stop or explode. “Unless…?”

“Unless you would like to get bitten by me.”

Your face turned scarlet. “Why…Why do you…?”

Rodrick rolled his eyes, turning back toward the house. “You’re impossible. I was gonna invite you in, but whatever. Get home safe.”

And with that, he disappeared inside, leaving you standing in the street, cheeks flushed, completely stunned. He just landed on the floor, stomping his head on the wall.

“Shit. I wanna see her in that outfit.” He cried out with his cheeks beet-red.

“She's so cool. Did you know she draws like a pro?" Greg cheered, watching you make your steps to your home, still confused.

“yourusername? She gave me pokemon cards for free in her parents store when I told my mother that I loved pokemon! A limited one. Pew peww.” Rowley exclaimed happily, stepping back when Rodrick stood up with a murderous look. “Uh-oh.”

Then he remembered, stopping him from the possible child murder. Only himself knew the cutie clumsy patootie you were, which made him giggle to the ground, curling his hands on the hem of his shirt.

“Ewww.” Greg hissed, frowning.

“I think your brother likes her.” Rowley smiled, walking to Greg's room, who was totally disgusted by the sight of his brother lifting his toe like a little girl.

The next week, someone invited Rodrick to a costume party. Sure, the music was decent, and someone brought a vintage vinyl player, which kept him from leaving immediately. The worst part is that you didn't come. “Socialization fear, Rod. Not my thing”. By midnight, he was leaning against a wall, phone in hand. Grinning when he saw you post you in your Misa outfit.

yourusername: “Dressing as my queen >o<.”

He wasn’t even sure why he posted a photo of himself dressed as L from Death Note. Maybe out of boredom. Maybe because he hoped you’d see it.

rodrickrockslodediper: justice will prevail.

Cheesy as hell. But effectively, you have seen it in a minute.

“God, you look so perfect.”

The message was simple—too simple for you. No silly emojis, no teasing lines. For some reason, that made him pause. And then, before he could talk himself out of it, he did something impulsive: he called you.

The line clicked after just two rings. “What the—Rodrick?”

He smirked at the sound of your flustered voice. “Didn’t think you’d answer so fast.”

“You called me,” you sputtered, nearly knocking over everything on your desk, your glasses almost broke on the floor. “What’s going on?”

“Party’s boring.” His voice was low and smooth, a little breathless. “Some kid thought I was Steve Jobs.”

You burst out laughing. “Oh my god. That’s so tragic.”

“Yeah, laugh it up, Misa Misa.” He hesitated, voice softening just slightly. “I wish you were here.”

Click.

And just like that, his status went offline before you even had time to reply. He stuffed his phone into his pocket, walking away from the party like he’d just dropped a bomb, not even bothering to say goodbye to anyone.

"What the heck was that?!" you exclaimed, staring at your phone like it had grown a second head. Rodrick Heffley called to say he wanted you to be with him? That couldn’t be real.

And yet, the disbelief hit even harder when your doorbell rang. You opened the door, and there he was—smudged eyeliner and messy dark shadow to fake L’s signature tired look. Meanwhile, you were fully dressed as Misa Amane. What even was this situation?

"Good thing I made it before you ditched the cosplay," he said with a lopsided grin, still catching his breath. He had run to your house. Rodrick Heffley, running. For you.

You stood frozen, like a deer caught in headlights. Say something! Come on, say something! your brain screamed.

"Uh… Let’s... let’s go inside, Lawliet. I, uh… I have candy!" you stammered in a sweet tone, fumbling over the words. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment.

Rodrick burst out laughing, loud and unfiltered, before slapping a hand over his mouth, trying to keep it cool. But the faint pink tint on his face gave him away. He couldn’t believe how adorable you looked, trying so hard to pull off Misa.

"What’s so funny?" you mumbled, shifting your weight awkwardly, your face heating up even more.

"Nothing..." he snorted, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye as his laughter died down. "Can I come in?"

"I… My parents… They’re, uh, kinda strict about guys being here," you muttered, cringing at how childish you sounded. Why did your parents have to be like this now of all times?

Rodrick clicked his tongue and shrugged. "Oh...Okay." But then he shot you that goofy, lopsided grin again, and you couldn’t help but smile back, even if it was a little shy.

"What?" you asked, giggling softly as you played with a lock of your blonde wig.

He shook his head, made a finger-gun motion with his hand, and turned to leave. But just as he took a step, he paused, spun back around, and said, "You know I like you, right?" His voice was casual, but his eyes told a different story.

"Stop messing with me…" you mumbled, barely above a whisper. Your heart was pounding in your chest. But instead of laughing, he stepped closer, hesitating for a moment before cupping your face gently. His eyes locked with yours, and for a second, the world seemed to stand still.

Then, he leaned in and gave you the softest, quickest kiss on the lips.

"Not messing with you, Misa," he said, dropping into L’s signature monotone. You couldn’t help it—you laughed so hard, your shoulders shook.

"Hey, no fair using my OTP!" you pouted, crossing your arms, but he just smirked and kissed you again.

"I’ll use whatever it takes to get you to notice me, nerd," he teased, his voice warm and playful. Then, with one last grin, he stepped back and turned to leave.

You stood there in the doorway, heart racing, watching Rodrick Heffley walk away like you’d just stepped out of the last scene of a shoujo anime.

[hayanwulf]

Stephen in spider-man homecoming

(In reference to the WIP game.)

Self-explanatory; Stephen is present in Spider-Man Homecoming!

He kind of shows up in Peter's scene coincidentally, and then of course Peter later rants about it to Happy, who informs Tony, who is so paranoid of magic that of course he tries to find out more about this wizard guy.

From there Stephen sends Tony in a wild goose chase, partially because he finds Tony annoying and partially for the shits and giggles.

Here's a snippet (Stephen recently dealth with Dormammu and he's Not Okay).

Soft footsteps could be heard behind him, signaling that the hero had apparently not left him alone yet. He tensed, able to feel Spider-Man creeping closer to his personal space without needing to see. Just when he thought that Spider-Man might try to touch him again, he instead flinched when the hero sat down next to him at a respectable distance, legs dangling off the roof similarly to his. “Not afraid of heights?” Spider-Man asked. Stephen internally sighed. He hated small talk, and talk in general was the last thing he wanted to do right now, especially with someone who was practically a stranger. “That, too, is none of your business,” Stephen told him blatantly. “Doesn’t your business entail catching thieves and stopping robberies? I think you should go tend to those.” Spider-Man shrugged, completely unperturbed by his clipped tone. “I would if something fishy was going on right now, but everything seems a-okay so I’m on a break.” Then, out of nowhere, the young hero brought out a wrap of tissue paper that emanated an unmistakable scent of fried dough, accentuated by the tinge of cinnamon & sweetness, and extended it towards Stephen. “Want some churros?” Stephen blinked down at the unexpected offering, then looked up at Spider-Man as if the hero was the weird one. “No.” “You sure?” Spider-Man tilted his head slightly. “Cause you look like—” he then raised his hand a little, “—I mean, I don’t mean to be rude! But, erm.. I noticed you don’t look very.. you seem like you might..” Stephen sighed. “Just say what you want to say.” Spider-Man fell silent for a second, then spoke up, “You look like you haven’t been eating well.” Stephen was suddenly hyper aware of just how terrible he must be looking if a random stranger felt the need to point it out. Embarrassment curled in his chest. Right as he was about to make a move to get up, the wrap of tissue was offered to him again, making him pause. “Well, this isn’t much,” Spider-Man said, emphasizing the offered churros, “But if you need help, my— Uh, I know this really nice lady who works at a homeless shelter.” “Are you saying that I look like a homeless person?” Stephen narrowed his eyes, more offended than embarrassed now. “I mean if you wanna know the truth, you look like a D&D cosplayer, but seeing the magic-y stuff you did just then—” he pointed a thumb behind them, where Stephen had arrived, “—maybe it’s not cosplay after all. Anyway, I don’t mean any offense, sir! I just thought maybe I’d help out, y’know?” “You talk a lot.” “So I’ve been told.” Stephen thought he could imagine a smile in the hero’s voice. “So, churros?” Stephen briefly looked down at the offering again, reminded that he had indeed not eaten anything after the morning breakfast, which had been cereals. His body was begging him to take the offering, stomach growling at the delicious scent. He turned back up at Spider-Man. “You’d help a random stranger who almost turned you into burnt soot?” Spider-Man tilted his head a little. “You didn’t, though.” “I could’ve,” Stephen whispered inaudibly, turning his head away. It had been extremely reckless. He had almost incinerated a person just because they had made an innocent gesture of touch on him. He might as well be a threat to humanity with his level of.. reaction. “Yeah, but you didn’t,” Spider-Man said, apparently having heard Stephen’s murmur. He had no idea how. He turned back towards the hero and found him insistently passing the churros now. “Here, take it. I’m sure you’ll feel a bit better after having them. They’re really good!” A little hesitantly, Stephen extended his hand and took the offered tissue wrap from Spider-Man. The hero didn’t say anything, but Stephen could practically feel the happiness he radiated at that moment, with how his legs swung and his body swayed. Stephen opened the tissue, cautious to not let the shaking of his hand make the churros fall off. Carefully, he picked up a churro and took a bite. It tasted heavenly.

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello!! I love your writing! Could it be possible to request Quackity with a s/o that does cosplay? Mostly done by hand, maybe they could’ve done a q!quackity or las nevadas quackity cosplay for shits and giggles

ooooo yeah of course! ; thank you for requesting and thank you for the compliment 🫶🫶

QUACKITY ; cosplayer partner

summary ; you cosplay, especially for your boyfriends SMP characters

warnings ; language

genre ; fluff

word count ; 404

masterlist

everytime you get into costume he can't help but stare at you in awe

"I can't tell if this is weird because you're dressed like a fictional version of me but I wanna make out with you"

"alex?"

lowkey obsessed with watching you take pictures and make tik toks and shit

he likes joining in on them as well for like weird fourth wall breaks LMAO

"I'm just like you!" "you're just like me!" "it's something anyone can seeeeeee"

literally spams your comments sections trying to hype you up

you're the only reason he uses tiktok

if you're hand making any props or anything in general, he's there to help

just don't give him the hot glue gun

he's one of those impulsive thoughts guys who sticks their finger into a little puddle of it to see their fingerprint but give themselves a second degree burn (me)

he thinks every little detail of your Las Nevadas Q is so fucking awesome

like it all makes complete sense and fits so well even though he never thought about it

don't get me started on QSMP Quackity either

from the ribbon on your arm for Tilin and even the slight remains of the wings, good lord he loves every little thing

going to a con? he's coming with

he's going as content creator quackity

wow he doesn't even have to dress up

but srsly he loves taking pictures with people and seeing everyone else's cosplays and shit

he'll post a photo to his Instagram story of you two at a con and be like "quackityception goes crazy"

I mean you're almost there!

dude if you're cosplaying anyone else on the qsmp he immediately has to show them like

"look who y/ns cosplaying!!"

genuinley shows you off because your creativity is so aspiring and amazing to him

you're on a whole nother level to him

if you need help with makeup he'll try and help you, but don't put a ton of faith in his hands, okay?

if you have people who edit you, he's all over them bro

every edit of you is SAVED

he's srsly your number one fan

always finding you audios to use too 🫶💔

if your cosplay clothes are safe to wash, he's doing it biweekly

if not, he'll find alternatives to not damage your stuff

honestly uses some of your q!quackity stuff as ideas for himself

and the fanartists go crazy

[shewasverynice]

Cow *space* Boy - Part 2

((image temporary until I find some sweet Suguru cow boy art ❤️))

Enjoy Suguru! Nanami is next!

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: Explicit

Content: Cosplay, Overstim, Established Relationship, Fingering, Creampie, Multiple Orgasms, Piercings, soft domming

Pairing: Suguru Geto/Fem!Oc

"Suguru," Boe whined, her arms outstretched and reaching. She grasped onto the back of his now untucked and disheveled white dress shirt, tugging at it incessantly. "Baaaabe! Carry me? Please?" She whined again, probably for the fourth time? Fifth? It was hard to say.

"You are perfectly capable of walking," Suguru grumbled, holding up her shiny purple heels in his hand, "I already gave you my shoes. At least let me keep some dignity."

It was kind of a whole thing -- when isn't it a whole thing with life as a sorcerer -- but the long and short of it was: Sarah threw a huge party at her and Satoru's home and everyone brought alcohol. Literally everyone. Even Satoru drank, which was incredibly rare, and it all degenerated pretty quickly. 

Boe and Suguru were the last two to leave, quickly making their exit as Satoru slurred his way to his wife and tried to yank her skirt down in the living room. Sarah had politely, if not a bit sloppily, ushered them to the door before Satoru could solve the puzzle box that was his belt. And off they went, too drunk to drive but sober enough to use a flying curse to get closer to their own home before walking the rest of the way.

Suguru fumbled through the pocket of his slacks, prying out the keys and struggling to focus on the lock. He couldn't miss it when his own shoes shuffled up behind him, the wearer giggling despite herself.

"Suguruuu, baby..." Boe hummed from behind, standing on her toes with her mouth up close against his ear. Suguru's fingers stumbled, tipsy, as he tried to jam the key into the lock. "You wanna put on that thing? You know... The one we borrowed? Hmm? Wanna try it, please?"

"Again with this," Suguru huffed, laughing despite it. Boe slid her palms down his chest, getting a hand beneath his shirt. It was all stuck to his body with the sweat of the hot July night, but that just made him smell even better if she was being honest. Her long manicured nails scratched hard across his pelvis and Suguru's head fell back near her shoulder.

"C'mon now," she purred, all smug, "Won't you do it for me, SuguBoo? Please? My big handsome man. You'd like it, hmm? Yeah? Please?" 

"You must still be drunk. That's the only time you ask me so nicely," he teased, then raised an eyebrow, "You seriously want me to put on that ridiculous cow thing? I'm pretty sure that Satoru didn't realize it was made for women when he bought it. It's already stretched out after he washed it."

"You're not much smaller than him anyway," Boe pouted, "C'mon be cool. Put it on for me, please?"

Suguru sighed, turning his head to look at her, "You're going to make me do it anyway, when I clearly don't want to?"

"Yes," she nodded enthusiastically, her eyes practically sparkling.

"You're fucking awful," he mumbled, turning around. 

Boe couldn't help it. In the darkness right in front of their home she stood up on her toes once again and kissed his pretty mouth. He tasted like beer and something sweet, probably all those mixed drinks someone attempted to make with the last of the fruit punch. 

He was just as drunk as she was, real happy. All sweet and pliant for her as she walked her fingers higher under his shirt and pinched one of his nipples. She laughed, low and sultry, as it hardened in her touch and pressed herself closer to him.

"Absolutely shameless," Suguru reinforced, breathing hard. Then he hummed with a barely suppressed smile, his own hand snaking its way into her purple hair and holding the back of her head. "Mmm, the absolute worst," he murmured.

 "And yet here you are, all red and shit," she accused, "Why's that, huh? What's got you all worked up?"

"Not sure," he said. He grinned into her neck, and when she pulled back her eyes were all bright and dazed, chewing at her bottom lip. "You're being awfully sweet. Maybe it's just the alcohol, but..." his voice trailed down to a whisper right into her ear, "I think you deserve something sweet for being a good girl for me, don't you?"

"I'll make you fuck me out here if you keep talkin' like that," she warned, her nails raking down his chest just sharp enough to make him hiss. He'd ask for more later. She could already tell he was in that kind of mood.

"You think I won't," he purred. His hands were on her hips now, rubbing his thumbs into the fabric of her silky dress over the curves he loved so much. He smiled and laughed to himself, his dark eyes glinting in the porch light. "And what if I did? Would you be able to get me into that costume then? All your leverage would be gone."

"Shit," she bit out, just before she smashed her mouth back into his, pressing him hard against the outside of the door. Suguru moaned out loud, parting his legs enough for her free hand as it glided along the outline of his cock. The other rolled his nipple between her thumb and forefinger and Suguru's head fell back against the door with a dull thud. Boe took her opportunity, kissing his neck while she palmed his cock head.

"You want me to come out here?" Suguru breathed into her hair, "Mmn, Boe --"

"I'm the worst, right," Boe mumbled into his throat, stroking faster while her other hand grabbed at his ass. "I'm the worst, he says to me, I swear to God --"

But now Suguru's hands were feeling greedy too, huge and clutching hard at her hips now, holding her in place while he spread her legs and jammed his knee right up against her heat. Immediately she rolled her hips, feeling his dick hot and hard through his pant leg. She was already working herself up, just how he liked it, eyes shut and mouth gasping.

Suguru could barely keep his composure. He watched her, transfixed and pressing his thigh harder into her, flexing his muscles to give her something solid to get herself off on. Fuck, he wanted to see it. Boe always wants it, she can't help it, she's just honest with herself about it and it makes Suguru hot under his skin every time. Hot enough that he forgets about everything but holding her down and driving her crazy until she's had all that bratty attitude fucked out of her.

He sunk his teeth into her neck, pawing at her breasts through her dress, feeling the hard metal of her piercings and shivering.

“Suguru,” Boe whined.

"Yes? Go on," Suguru murmured, tugging her earlobe between his teeth. He whispered, his breath hot, "Tell me what my good girl wants. Maybe you'll get it?"

He bounced his thigh just a few times and she came, laughing and groaning into his neck, gasping through it. It sent more shivers all up and down Suguru's spine and he pulled her bottom lip between his teeth. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, making a whole slew of noises that no one would ever have expected him to make. Especially not on his front porch, still wanting more and more and more from her.

Finally he detached himself, quirking up an eyebrow in mock-sternness. "Now, are you going to let me open the door? I can't become the cow boy of your dreams unless we go inside."

Boe clapped her hands, bouncing on her toes and nodding. "Yes! Yes, let's go!" She giggled, tugging on his arm.

Sweet fucking lord, Suguru thought bleakly.

Keys in, door opened, and finally he shoved Boe's stumbling ass inside. "A headband with little ears," Suguru mused, shutting the door. "Pink too. Why'd it have to be pink? He couldn't have picked at least brown or black? This is absolutely ridiculous. I can't believe how into this you girls are. Which one of you is the pervert who thought of this first?"

"Well it was supposed to be like... Yeehaw cowboys," Boe told him, setting his shoes by the door. She reached out once the door was bolted, tugging Suguru in by the belt loops. "But he fucked it, and now here we are."

"So I assume Sarah liked it anyway?" He asked, letting her pull him along.

"Oh, yeah," Boe answered with a smirk. She planted a little kiss on his lips, then pulled away smiling softly and just a little fuzzy. "C'mon now, Buttercup. Let's get you all decked out."

Suguru groaned, "Don't you dare call me that during."

She smirked at him again and he sighed. 

Into their bedroom they went, her kicking the door behind them and sitting expectantly on the end of the bed. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap, her back straight as if a nun with a ruler was going to slap her wrist if she didn't sit properly. Her eyes followed him, wide and excited. He really couldn't let her down now. 

Suguru smiled at her as he flicked the button open on his pants. He let them fall, then reached up to unbutton his shirt while her eyes followed every movement of his hands. Silky black hair fell down in waves over his shoulders as he bared his toned chest, then folded the shirt over his arm. 

On the dresser was the accursed little white bag with the costume inside. He sighed placing his shirt down and opening the bag with a second more dramatic sigh. 

He had been at least a little hot under the collar since the party. Watching all the girls drunk and shaking their asses to the music. He was trying to hide it since he'd made the mistake of looking sideways at Boe with her face all flushed and smiling as she grinded her ass on Sarah and Rin. Only now was he truly and honestly aware of how badly he wanted her, how badly he wanted to be inside her and how pretty and bright her green eyes were.

"Close your eyes," he said, waving his hand her way, "It'll be a nice surprise, right?"

"'Kay!" She chirped, closing her eyes and smiling like a dope.

Suguru snorted, reaching into the bag. The cow bell inside clanged and he grimaced while she visibly shivered and giggled. He rolled his eyes, setting it down to keep pulling out the rest of the blasted thing.

Straps on his thighs first, then up went the little thong. He looked at himself in the mirror, the heat rising to his cheeks before he looked away with a scowl. On went the tiny top, clearly meant to be a tank top. It would have been one on a woman probably, but his broad chest stretched it into a tight little crop top. Straps next, but they didn't fit around his pecs so he chose to just put it around his waist and let the rest of it hang down.

Finally he sighed as he picked up the headband. Turning it over in his hands he narrowed his eyes at a set of tally marks made on the underside along with a crude marker drawing of Gojo and Sarah. Twenty-three? For what?

"Ugh," he cringed, realizing Satoru must have been tallying how often they orgasmed wearing it.

"What?" Boe asked, her eyes still closed but her grin widened.

"Nothing," Suguru sighed, slicking back his hair and placing the ears on his head. 

Taking one last cautious glance he saw himself in the mirror. Absolutely ridiculous. He looked away again, inhaling through his nose before he moved closer, stopping right in front. The clanging of the cow bell certainly didn't help calm his nerves, but then he cleared his throat. "Okay."

She opened her eyes and he closed his as she squealed with joy. He heard her footsteps as she walked around him on her toes, felt the fucking giddy vibrations in the air too.

"Oh my god," she barely contained her giggles, "Holy shit. Suguru this is so amazing!"

She flicked the cowbell and cackled at the loud TING!

Suguru cleared his throat, then tipped his head back. She instantly took a step back, trembling. That look in his eyes! Real dangerous. That's the one. That's the one that always straightened her out quick. 

Her hands glided up his chest, her lip caught between her teeth again and her eyes half-lidded.

"I saw you watching me dance, Buttercup. You want me to take care of all that milk you've made for me?" She purred, fiddling with the bow on his chest, trying so hard not to crack up and ruin the effect, but it was a lost cause.

"Boe," Suguru said, seriously, "Do not call me that again."

Boe's face changed. Suguru knew that look. Oh, shit. Oh fucking Christ, did he know it. He tried hard not to grin. "Oh-hoh? You mad?" She continued, egging him on further. "What are you gonna do about it, Buttercup? You won't do shit. You're just gonna sit there and let me--"

Suguru gave it just one beat, maybe two, but suddenly his hand was on her upper arm and dragging her. She yelped out, "Hey!" But he got her up and onto the bed.

"I get it," he murmured in her ear, his hand on the back of her head. He shoved right up tight against her, his cock hard and grinding against her ass, and oh fuck, he's not surprised to feel how hot she is too. "You like pissing me off. You like a little trouble, don't you?"

"I don't know what you're--" Boe started, but it's a shitty protest. Even she can't deny it, because okay, she does like it when he's mad. She fucking loves it when that composure breaks and he gets real mean. Shatter that calm persona. Bring out the real Suguru who doesn't give a shit about being dignified and just wants to tear her apart.

So of course she doesn't want him to think she'll just roll over. She struggled up onto her arms, pushing back with a devilish laugh, "Ooh! You can't deal at all, huh?"

Suguru pushed his thigh between her legs, hard, and slipped one hand up her dress and onto her hip. The other kept its grip on the back of her head, forcing her back down. "This is me dealing with it. This is exactly what it looks like when I'm dealing with it. Do you want me to show you what I'll do if you keep it up?"

She winced as the rim of the metal bell dug into her back. Then rolled her eyes with a huff, "Oh, yeah, tough guy, fine--show me what you'll do."

Suguru paused, tilting his head, shrugged-- and then grinded his knee between her legs. Hard enough to make her yelp and gasp, her ass lifting off the bed when her toes pushed her up. 

He grabbed a fistful of her hair on the back of her head and caught one of her hands, locking it behind her back. His mouth was right against her ear, panting, which was so fucking hot Boe could barely stand it. He's hard and he's panting; he's getting off on just the idea of what he's gonna do. Fuck, fuck, fuck, that's just-- Boe couldn't even see straight, it was so hot. 

"Spread further," he growled.

"Make me," Boe whispered.

Suguru groaned softly, grinding his hips forward against Boe's. "This was fun," she huffed, "But it's over now."

He blinked. She snapped her wrist out of his grasp, rolling over onto her front and pushing him back with her knee. Fuck, he's strong, but she's quick when she wants to be. Sitting up, she had him by the waist and pushed him back one step, closer to the wall until her back was the one that hit. 

Her back?

Suguru's whole solid body pushed up tight against Boe's. He had his arm not just around her waist but blocking one of his arms too, right against his side. That does leave one of her arms free and she pushes back at his chest.

God damn she loved it when he got this way! She could have just given in and just let him do anything he wanted, but sometimes the struggle was just too much fun. She's not weak by any measure, her shove pushed him back a few inches, but he locked in harder and braced. He snatched that free wrist once again, pinning it to the wall above her head. 

"Now look at you," he murmured. He nuzzled her cheek, lips skating gently along her jawline; Boe shivered hard despite all her best intentions. "You don't get to put me in this stupid costume and then tell me no. You don't get to run away from this."

She smirked, swiping her tongue across her teeth. "Oh yeah, Buttercup?"

Suguru bit down hard on the side of Boe's neck. She grunted, thrashing against him, but he had her pinned too well. "Maybe I should rephrase that since you didn't understand," he breathed, "You're not going to leave." He dragged his tongue across the shell of her ear, swirling a slow circle around it. "Not until I've gotten what I want from you. Not until we play this stupid farmer game, got it?"

Her knees buckled-- damn it! She's not ready to give in but that hot breath and his cock grinding into her thigh and that grip on her wrist, and how the fuck is she suppose to stay upright? "Suguru," she moaned.

"Come on."

Arms around her waist he guided her back to the bed and forced her to sit back down. He pointedly ignored the sound of the cowbell before he spoke again, his voice low and gravelly, pure sex and sin. "Stop playing hard to get, bitch. This is what you spent the last few days begging for."

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes, Boe thought dizzily, but no, that's a line that should really piss her off. Bitch? Begging for? "Fuck you," Boe hissed, with a smirk, "I won't beg for you, Buttercup."

Suguru just grinned at her. "You will."

He didn't give her the satisfaction of back-sass, because he was on her. He was on her, kissing her and thrusting his tongue deep into her mouth. She moaned, clutching at him, because she can't not, but fuck! Was she really gonna give in this easy? What was the point of the cow costume if they were just gonna play their normal games? 

Suguru drew his tongue back to lick around her lips and suddenly she surged forward. Her hands slid down his body, down miles of toned muscles to the hem of that little spotted thong. His breath hitched as she fondled him, cupped his balls and tilted her head to meet his gaze with their foreheads touching. 

"I think I'm due for some vitamin D," she purred, stroking and teasing just around his shaft, "Think you got enough to satisfy me?"

He huffed, his breath growing ragged faster than he planned. She started to get up, but he spun her around and traded their positions. Sitting down, he pulled one of her legs over his and forced her to straddle his hips. She twisted on him for a moment, but his hand clapped down on her shoulder and the other grabbed her wrists and held them behind her back. So much for going anywhere. She wouldn't run now anyway, he could see it in her eyes. She always let him win in the end.

"You're gonna milk this cow completely dry," he whispered, smiling despite the darkness in his eyes, "Understand? All of this milk?" His hand lowered between them, cupping his heavy balls, "You're gonna take it. And you're gonna thank me for it."

She bit her lip, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Am I? Are you sure I can drink all of that?"

"You can and will," he insisted, his hand stoking back up her body, a hot breath escaping when his thumb caught against her clit ring through her dress.

He chuckled when she shuddered, biting at the curve of her neck and shoulder. "Every last drop," he whispered, biting down hard and sucking a deep bruise into her skin. "You won't stop until I tell you to," he continued as he drew back, "Understand?"

And oh, oh god, that blew her fucking mind. The combination of such a ridiculous outfit but her boyfriend's absolutely stellar domming was pure ecstasy.

She turned her head in time to see him conjure a curse to reach out, picking his belt up off the floor and into his hand. For one split-second he left go of her wrists, but the realization hit her a moment too late. The belt wrapped around them and cinched tight, and she was done. 

"Don't really feel like going anywhere now, do you?" Suguru murmured, "I'm guessing you'd much rather stay right where you are."

Boe squeaked, shrugging half-heartedly. She twisted her shoulders, looking up at him through her eyelashes, but didn't dare say anything. Her toes curled against his calves and she chewed at her lip again. 

And then he finally did it-- both his arms went up and  his hands grasped at her dress. He tensed and tore, the zipper snapping and ripping down with a bunch of satisfying pops. Up it went, over her head and into the floor with a Thwap! 

Wasting no time, the bra was next and his teeth were on her right nipple ring. She cried out as it clicked between them, his tongue teasing and swirling it. Then to the other, his other hand splayed out on her spine and dug his fingers in.

"You should have been the cow," he mumbled, "It would be more fun if I was the bull."

"Aah!" Boe's head tipped back, her eyes squeezing shut. His fingers joined his tongue, both of her nipple rings being tugged and teased and making her hips roll against his. He thighs bounced with impatience, his cock throbbing and already pushed out of that tiny thong. 

"You know how to milk a cow, don't you?" He whispered, pointing his tongue to flick at the ring once before he looked up at her. "Some cows need a little more help to get it done. You think you've got what it takes?" He paused for a beat, waiting for her answer. Nothing came so he smirked, tugging on a nipple ring once again and repeated, "Do you?"

"I-- I--" she panted, her eyes barely open enough to see him. 

"I'm going to use you like a milking machine," he chuckled, "I'll slide this big cock right inside you. Make you scream. And then I'll fuck you until I feel lighter."

"I want you so much," Boe whimpered. 

Suguru took a few unsteady breaths to collect himself. He growled, "The hell with it." And shoved her legs apart. He pushed his fingers into her, hard and deep, watching her arch and moan on his lap. She panted as he curled his index and middle, but when his thumb brushed her clit ring she actually cried out. 

"Oh god," she whined, "More, please... Just fuck me already! Please!"

He rocked his fingers in, good and deep, pressing and rubbing. His thumb kept brushing over her clit and she shivered. Her head was spinning. Mind going hazy. His hand brushed her hair back and he let his cheek brush hers as he leaned in to whisper, "Come."

The coil snapped and she moaned. Hips jerked against his, wrists pulling at the belt, gasping for breath and head whipping. His thumb kept flicking, dragging it on for ages and ages. Her eyes felt like they did a full 360 in her skull before she could focus on him again. 

He kissed her forehead, kissed her eyebrows-- when she closed her eyes he kissed her eyelids too. "Good girl," he breathed, "You're so beautiful when you come."

Suguru brought his mouth to hers, tongue thrusting into her mouth. It's sloppy, a hard one, and after a few seconds of his tongue filling her mouth she stopped to focus on breathing. Near as she could tell, Suguru was trying to fuck her mouth with his tongue and he wanted her to hold still and take it.

Eagerly she did, letting him in. He pulled back for a split-second to look into her eyes and whatever he saw there made him hiss out "Yes" before coming back to kiss her again. This time it was slower, easier, more seductive. Suguru licked into Boe's mouth, coaxing her tongue forward, and she shuddered and shook and finally, finally let herself give in and kissed him back. 

It set off fireworks for Suguru, or at least it felt like it. He moaned quietly against her lips, pulling her closer by her hips and squishing his cock between their bodies. One rock of his hips and his piercings clicked against hers down below, both of them moaning into each other's mouths. The cow bell jostled just enough to make a few soft clinks.

Boe could only breathe heavily through her nose, trying to stay conscious as he suffocated her with his mouth. She had to wait. Had to be good or else he'd make her wait longer. Arms under her ass, he tilted her hips into position and dropped her onto his cock. "Oh fuck, oh yes, Suguru..." She breathed, settling in as he shoved her into position and exhaled with relief.

"Move," he commanded, his voice calm and even, "Get to work. Make me come and take all my milk."

She nodded meekly, biting her lip. Then she drove her hips down, twisting and grinding for a moment. Suguru's head slowly tipped back as she went up slow and then back down, a rumble deep in his chest. "That's it," he praised, "Good girl... That's it..."

"Suguru, Mmn, oh fuck... Suguru!"

"That's it, that's it," hips steadily rising to meet hers, balls pressing against her ass again and again, "Tell me--you want it. Tell me."

"Fuck oooh fuck," she panted, head lolled back and eyes squeezing shut.

Suguru reached up, fisting her hair and pulling. "Answer me, slut. Answer me," He growled.

"Fuck you," Boe moaned, trying her damnedest to rock her hips down against his thrusts now. "Fuck--fuck you, fuck--oh, God--"

"You're gonna come," Suguru panted, dragging his lips up her neck, "You're gonna come and milk me dry. Because you--" his last three words were harsh and low, matching his heavy deep thrusts, "You--love--it." 

Boe sobbed out a breath, shaking as Suguru took over completely. Thrust after punishing thrust that wouldn't let her hide from the truth even if she wanted to. The cow bell rang at full force, clang clang clang! "Ohh fuck," she moaned, "Yes! Oh, yes, love it so fucking much, Suguru... Fuck me, fuck me .. fu-fuck me!"

All he could do was pant, losing his mind. Eyes closing, gasping, shaking. She grinded down hard, tilting forward to catch more friction, and her clit ring caught just right. Gasping, she was coming with loud broken moans. He fumbled for the belt buckle-- twisting it and throwing it off. He needed her hands free, needed her to touch him too.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers gliding through his silky hair. One hand wrapped a healthy amount around and with one hard tug he was coming too.

"Boe!" He shouted. His hips stuttered fast, knees bouncing and toes curling. Her nails dug into his scalp and he gritted his teeth as the pleasure and pain dragged it out further and further. With one more groan he dropped his head to her shoulder. His hand moved to stroke up and down her thigh, slowly and lazily, soaking in every twitching aftershock.

"Love you," he murmured into her shoulder, feeling the tremble in her chest of her soft laugh before she whispered, "Love you too."

Their breaths slowed, still heated and mixing together as they kissed in gentle pecks. Boe tensed her core, feeling him throb once again. She blinked, then glanced down at where he was still nestled inside.

"You're still hard?" She asked, "You usually need a little break in between. I'm surprised."

He was beginning to pant again, his eyes almost glazing over and a little smirk pulling at his lips. He tilted his head and whispered, "I'm not sure what's come over me, but let's not let it go to waste."

She snickered, "Well, you won't hear me complaining."

The bedframe creaked dangerously and she huffed, "If this one breaks I'll be really pissed." But already she was bouncing slowly, her hands resting on his shoulders with her long nails sinking in.

"I'll fuck you on the floor then, Miss Farmer," Suguru purred, sitting back on his palms and enjoying the view of her riding him, "It may be just the alcohol, but I feel like I could go all night..."

"It's the costume," Boe breathed, chuckling breathlessly. Sinking down on him again, moaning high on her throat, she was already feeling it as he grew to his hardest once more.

Suguru wasn't fairing much better -- she was so warm inside, so wet. His hands were gripping too hard at the comforter, he could feel his nails tearing a few loose threads, but he just couldn't find it in himself to give a shit. And then Boe moved her hips in low swirling circles. He sat up, grabbing two healthy handfuls of her ass and grinned up at her.

"Let's turn this into a rodeo, cowgirl," he rasped, "Better hold on. This cow likes to buck hard."

"Oh shit!" Boe swore, knowing her eyes were huge in her face. Shocked at that wild look in his eyes just before he's planted his feet and really fucking giving it to her. 

Loud heavy slaps of skin echoed in the room, both of them losing themselves. The cowbell clanged loud, bouncing off his chest and nearly hitting his chin. 

“It’s so fucking good, you’re so, you’re so, God, Suguru!!"

He was gone. She was glistening with sweat and the bouncing of her tits was hypnotic. Whatever was left of his mind tapped out entirely and he wrapped his strong arms around her hips with his hands spread over her ass. His mouth caught a nipple and his tongue ring clicked against her own ring, making his already unstable rhythm stutter.

"Ah! Ah! Aah!" Boe held on for dear life, wiggling and grinding around him, all the muscles in her stomach clenching up. Her hands tangled into his hair and her back arched, pushing her breast more into his mouth. "Ohh, God, more, please I --" And so Suguru did. He swirled his tongue, letting his ring catch her nipple ring as his teeth gently massaged as well. One of his palms glided up her back to drag his nails down her spine. "Suguru, yeah -- yes -- oooh!"

"That's a good girl," Suguru laughed, breathless and panting between words, "Ride this cow. Hold on tight."

"Gimme it all," she cried out, "Oh fuck yes! Oh fu-fuck yes! I want it! Come inside me again!"

Suguru was pretty sure his mind completely whited out. She was riding him just as hard as he was thrusting, making all kinds of sounds with her mouth open. The bedframe was really taking a beating, but if they broke another one he knew he'd still brag about it.

"Good girl, good girl," he chanted. He swallowed hard when she squeezed up around him just to make him feel good. She always had to have an attitude first, always wanted to piss him off, but the truth always came out. And his truth was that he fucking loved it when she was a brat. He loved putting her in her place as much as she loved being put there.

“Yeah,” Boe panted. “Ah, Suguru — yeah —” 

“Like doin’ all the work. Like getting fucked? You like getting fucked, slut?” 

“I love it, I love it, it’s so fuckin’ good, baby, it’s so, God, fuck —“

"That's right you do," Suguru managed, "Damn right you do. This pussy is mine. All fucking mine."

Boe's moans cracked and shuddered in her throat, and Suguru felt it. He knew she was about to come, but her weight felt just right and so good crashing into his bucking hips. He held her hips in his big hands, fingers bruising the top of her ass, manhandling her like a doll and forcing her down balls deep with every push. He took a moment to smack her ass hard, reveling in the yelp. She'd give him shit about it later and he couldn't fucking wait. The cow bell was so fucking loud!

"S-s-su-suguru-- m'gonna-- M'gonna-- !!" Boe gasped, coming while grinding her clit against his belly, squeezing up around him so hard inside that Suguru thought he might pass out. Her head fell back, fisting Suguru's hair in her hands, shoving her face into his flushed pecs. It's too much, all way too much. The smell of his skin, his hot satisfied love sounds; those long silky luxurious gasps and moans in that deep voice.

"Boe, fuck," Suguru grit out, and when Boe finally shuddered back down, he held her in place so he could once again fill her with his come. Hips jerking and head nodding. "Fuck-- Boe, that's it..."

It lasted for-fucking ever. All Suguru could do was let his toes curl in the carpet, sweating and groaning and riding it out. Boe made soft little noises, little sweet whimpers, and even as Suguru was coming down he still couldn't handle it.

"Keep moving, cowgirl," Suguru mumbled, delirious and happy, "Every last drop of milk. Just for you. Hold it for me. Don't let any slip out."

Obediently Boe rolled her hips again, breathing hard and scratching her nails at the base of Suguru's neck, the muscles in her legs twitching. It felt so good Suguru couldn't help the sound he makes. “Mmn, you’re good to me,” he murmured, “Milked me pretty good didn't you, cowgirl. Feel it? All of that?"

“Mm-hmm,” she hummed, dreamy. She dipped her head, hoping for a kiss, and Suguru gave her one. His mouth moved wet and soft against Boe's when she gives one of her lusty sighs. “Suguru,” she mumbled, rolling her hips slower and slower, drooping with satisfaction. 

"Darling,” Suguru whispered to her, “Baby doll. My beautiful girl.” 

She shifted, lifting off of him slowly with her nails gliding up his chin. With a sly smile she stretched, giving him a little show as he looked over her body. His eyes lingered on her breasts, then hips, ass and thighs. He chuckled, low in his throat, and sighed.

"I'm going to love you all night," he murmured, missing her already. Boe smirked at him as she tied her hair back.

“Guess I can suffer through it,” she teased, then tilted her head, "But more than twice in one night? Are you sure?"

He grinned, flicking the cowbell, "Well, maybe Satoru was onto something, mm?"

Want your own custom smut fic? Check out my Ko-fi!

[sonderessence]

stunna ... hobie x black reader

warnings / contains: language, blood, drinking, smoking.

synopsis: hobie would kill anyone in the world for you.

✞ NOW PLAYING: if looks could kill, destroy lonely

eight fourty-seven, the party

chapter 1, ghostface

... you were finally eighteen, & your best friend brianna had pulled you to a party that was being hosted by one of the guys at the college you went to.

college was stressful, life felt like shit, and nothing felt right. so, what a better way to live than go to your first party?

when your brianna brought up the idea, you were a bit skeptical at first because of the murders and kidnappings that were going on in your town, but she was somehow able to convince you to go.

you had worn a pretty short black dress that showed off your back and arms.

the loud music that blasted in the large home, followed by yelling and laughs filled your ears as you were being pulled by your best friend.

the smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol filled your nose, looking around to see people making out and fighting, or just dancing like there was no tomorrow.

your friend pulled you to a guy who she apparently knew.

" heyyy! " she giggled, walking up to the guy. " hey bri, " a guy smiled, he looked like he was already piss drunk. " who's this fine woman? " he turned to you with a smirk, looking you up and down.

" y/n, jason, jason, y/n " brianna smiled.

" hey " you smiled softly. you were nervous about meeting people you didn't know, and adding the crowded space it made it even worse.

" y/n? " he raised an eyebrow " pretty name, you think you could make me scream it? " he joked, a joke you didn't find funny.

" haha... " you laughed awkwardly, looking down at the ground.

" jason! " brianna exclaimed, laughing as she playfully punched his arm.

" hey, " you tapped bri's arm " i'm gonna get us drinks, i'll- " " i'll come with you! " jason interrupted, smiling drunkly.

your eyes widened as you smiled awkwardly at him. " o-oh, it's fine. i- " " yeah! " bri exclaimed " you two can get to know each other more! "

" haha...yay... " you dragged out the word.

jason stood closely beside you as you two walked to the kitchen, two close for comfort, to close for your comfort.

he didn't notice how uncomfortable you were, but you could tell he took a liking to you. he flirted with you the whole night, touching you and trying to get close to you.

while he was drunk, he even tried kissing you, which in response you awkwardly pushed him away.

" why are you trying to get away from me? " jason smirked wickedly, walking up from behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

" jason, " you said sternly " stop. "

" why mama? " he chuckled " you don't wanna have a good time? bri's budrunk lying. looked at bri who was two busy grinding on some random guy.

jason leaned in closer to you to whispered in your ear seductively. " why don't we go upstairs? "

" i...i'm gonna go to the bathroom. " you choked out, pushing drunk jason away from you.

you ran out the front door, inhaling the cool air as you sighed. you pulled out a cigarette, lighting it up and taking a puff. you sat on the edge of the railing when you heard the door open.

you turned around to see a unknown person in a ghost face mask. looking at the person in confusion, you called out a nervous " hello? " the person walked up to you and you could see how detailed their costume was.

" sorry if i scared ya, " the person said, they actually sounded like ghost face, which made even more creepier.

" just a bit " you smiled nervously " i like the cosplay "

" thanks " the person said, you could hear the happiness in their voice. " wha' 's your name, luv? " they asked.

" y/n " you smiled, your heart fluttering at the nickname you were given. " you? "

the person under the mask chuckled. " if i told you tha', you would know my iden'ity "

you nodded your head and laughed " your right, that's smart "

the person stood next to you, looking at you up and down. " wha' 'r you doin' out here?" they asked.

" just taking a breather " you sighed " it's hella crowded out there "

" tell me abou' it, " they chuckled softly, taking off their mask.

you looked up at them and noticed the smile they wore. " you have a nice smile " you smiled back back at them.

" thanks " they chuckled, you could hear their real voice when the mask was off.

" so, " you said " you gonna tell me your name now that i've seen your face? " you teased, raising an eyebrow. " hm...fine." they answered with a teasing smirk. " hobie "

" hobie, " you repeated " nice. "

... after some time of talking to hobie, you managed to warm up to him. " hey, " you looked up at him, noticing splatters of read on his costume. " what is that red stuff on your costume? you killed someone? " you joked with a smile.

his tone turned serious as he glared at you. " 'n if i di'? "

your heart dropped, staring wide-eyed at him. " w-what? "

" 'm jus' messin' wit' ya " he answered in a joking tone, chuckling at you.

you smiled back at him, rolling your eyes playfully. " i should get back to my group "

he nodded " same here, " he smiled. " it was nice talkin' to ya "

a/n: dont know if ima finish this 💀

©bachirasegoist, 2023 — do not steal or copy works

[medig]

A Tale of Woe, Ep. 50 : Happy Birthday!

(all episodes)

"Claire, sweetie, you can't hide under that sheet all day! Come on out and get it over with.."

----

[one hour earlier]

"Claire, what's wrong, did you make your wish yet?"

"Yeah, Liz, I wish I could go home. But I can't help thinking about how I'm another year older and seemingly no closer to getting out of this place."

"Well it certainly won't come true if you don't hurry up and blow them out!"

"Really, Liz? I'm supposed to be the one that's crazy, but you still believe in birthday wishes?"

"Sounds like somebody's trying get a good old fashoned birthday spanking"

"Oh God, Liz! Never talk like that again, after what I've seen - and felt - of what happened in this place - to Mary!"

"Mary again? You're still going on about that?"

"Yes! She's real, and I'm still having these dreams of her.. you promised me you'd help me find out more about her. Did you ever find out why she was sent here, or how she got out? That would be a good birthday present, Liz"

"Oh, Claire, I still can't find anything. Somebody hushed it up really well!"

"It was probably her, I bet she never even told her husband! God knows if I ever get out of here, it'll be pretty hard to tell anybody about it.. but who knows if that'll ever come up, if I never get out of here I'll never have to worry about it.. when I think of all I've been through, it feels like I've been here for years already!"

"Claire, it hasn't even been one year since you got here.."

"Well, it's easy to lose your sense of time in here"

"You wanna talk about losing track of time, it seems like only yesterday when you were born! In September of 2000 we were still eating up all the canned food and MRE's that Dad stocked up on the year before when he was turning the house into a fallout shelter. Look at this picture I took of your Mom in '99 !"

"Holy shit is that a real gun?"

"Oh that whole outfit was just some cosplay thing she wore to the Con that year. She thought it'd be funny to get a picture like that with all the stuff Dad was hoarding."

"Yeah, I was a Y2K bunker baby... born 9 months after everybody freaked out! I guess some people found the situation romantic.."

"In your case it was more about the relief when the world didn't end. Lots of people worked all year to fix all the old COBOL and FORTRAN code, Dad should know - he was one of them! When the clock struck midnight, and nothing exploded and the lights stayed on, Dad popped open a bottle of champaign and him and Julie ran off to the 'bunker' and I dind't see them again until the morning.. late morning, that is, both very hungover and her pregnant!"

"Eww!!! <giggling> Liz! Gross.. <snort>"

"Claire, that's the first time you've laughed since you got here! I'll be as gross as I have to be to see you laugh!"

-----

[five minutes after Liz leaves the hospital]

Nurse: "Alright, honey, visiting time's over. Let's get that robe and pajamas off. Nope, no gown this time. Doc says you can just go around the rest of the day in your birthday suit.."

[thisworldisablackhole]

nothing,nowhere. Hell or Highwater

🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑

FFO: COUNTRY, EMO, ALEX G, DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL / LISTEN

Country is back in. It has been for a while. Everyone wants to be a cowboy these days. The undercurrents of americana that pervade popular music have never gone away, but many artists over the past few years have been pushing their over the top characterizations of cowboys and countryscapes back into the mainstream by fusing the genre with electronic based pop and rap. Lil Nas X, Oliver Tree, hell, even Beyoncé has seen the potential in this fusion. In a way, it almost feels a little bit late for singer-songwriter and emo-rap-metalcore extraordinaire Joe Mulherin to be hopping on the trend, but I'm not sure if anyone has so unabashedly mixed alt-country and emo pop like this before.

Hell or Highwater is the newest entry in the series of Joe Mulherin doing whatever the fuck he wants since leaving Fueled by Ramen and regaining ownership of his career. He already dropped a full length record of emo rap bangers earlier this year, and now, almost as if to flex his new found creative freedom, he's switching things up with nine sad, manure scented acoustic tracks. "John Wayne (I Wanna Be A Cowboy)" kicks things off with a reminder that Mulherin is, in fact, a millennial, and his perspective as a 30 something year old struggling with motivation and trapped in cycles of late night doom-scrolling definitely shines through in the lyrics. Somber strums of the guitar accompany him as he sings "I wanna be a cowboy, but I sleep too late. I stayed up all night watching Walmart fights on my phone". At face value, it's a bit cheesy, but the message of desperately wanting more for yourself yet having too much executive dysfunction to take those steps is honest and easily relatable for the modern age. Don't worry though, not every song is so on the nose with it's tiktok generation pandering. Fourth track and one of the biggest album highlights, "In The Country", hits us with the beautiful cry of the harmonica and a much less obvious approach to discussing depression and the yearning to escape to a quieter, simpler life.

I'd be remiss not to mention that there is still a small hip hop influence on this album. "Hydrangeas", "Cliché Lovers", and "Honey" all feature some 808s and trap hi hats, but Mulherin's sad cowboy persona still remains at the core of these songs, and these elements blend so seamlessly into the rest of the album that they hardly feel out of place, especially if you are already familiar with the previous work of nothing,nowhere. These songs bring a sort of mixtape feel to the album, and while they aren't the star of the show for me, they act as nice segues between the more countryfied moments. Things really get kicked up a notch near the end of the record with bombastic choruses in a slacker visage like early Dashboard Confessional meets Rocket-era Alex G. Closing track "New England" ends things off on a particularly high note, starting with the lone riffing of an electric banjo before drums, acoustic guitars and blues slides all drop into place. Mulherin throws a slight twang on his voice as he recites some of his most muddy truck lovin' lyrics to date, "Well, I know that backroads and dirty clothes just ain't for everyone. So, you take the city lights and skyline, give me a setting sun". It's probably the most cowboy cosplay moment on the whole album, but in the midst of the trees and cornfields still lies an explosive, tearjerking chorus of lost love that could make me weep. Mulherin has always had a knack for hooks and catchy choruses, and this song further exemplifies the fact that he could easily make a career in writing chart topping hits if he wanted to.

I'll admit, I wasn't expecting to fall in love with this album. My personal relationship with country music has gone from ironically blasting "Fix A Drink" by Chris Jansen for shits and giggles, to eagerly watching Lucinda Williams live with clasped hands and open ears, but when the emo kid next door suddenly shows up on your front lawn with a cowboy hat, acoustic guitar in hand, and face painted like a clown, I think anyone would be a little skeptical. But whether it's rap, metalcore, or alt country, Mulherin never fails to write a memorable, heart clutching song. Hell or Highwater is just further proof that his song writing talent transcends borders, and—outside of the constraints of major labels—he truly can do whatever the fuck he wants.

[frecklenog]

finally watching house of wax 1953 ,, thots under tha cut

YAYYY WAX WOMAN W KNIFE

HI MR PRICE HIII HIIIII

the subtitles dont work o no :(

“that should be they now” pronoun user ..

soo curios whether these r real wax sculptures.. some of them are. obvious. but others i straight up expect to move. the craftsmanship is incredible

HI JOANIE !!!!!!!!

also curious about the clothes. are they real cloth or are there sculpted parts too. is it just a full body underneath or is it just the skin that’s visible. tho admittedly i don’t know much abt wax sculptures despite having the ‘05 movie as a longstanding hyperfixation 🥴

HIS NAME IS FUCKING JARED????

oh okay he just turned booth’s head. so that’s probably not connected to like. more wax skin.

if jared is the one doing the killing i support him. jared did nothing wrong this mf is setting his art on fire for insurance fraud. he should murder

marie :(

ok the burning clothes r answering my questions LMAO

JARED GET UPPPP

JARED

jared you fucking suck at fighting. knock it off w the water bucket and KILL THIS FOOL

ono. explodegeon.

OLD TIMEY FIRE DEPARTMENT YAYYYYYYYY HORSES YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY 🐴🐴🐴

OH THIS BITCH.

“had i been there i might have saved him” kys you fuck

“they always want a corpse :)” i love this strange woman

ohhhh all these mary poppins ass dresses J’ADORE

i hope jared is waiting in this fucker’s house with a club

OH MY GOD YAYYYYYYYY

he’s got a little bit of a “freddy kreuger cosplaying nosferatu” thing goin on. tbh

hiding..

someone get this man a cane or smth. my god. SOMETHING

LMFAOOOOO GOODBYE BITCH

“yes. but he hung himself instead 🥰” SHE IS SO BIZZARE

“you got all the brains and all i got is the boobs!”

CATHY’S SO SWEET 🥺🥺🥺

her laugh is. a little much. cute here and there but with the amount she does it it gets grating. but it’s very much of the time ain’t it. cinderella and snow white and alice in wonderland ass giggle

oh hey jared i almost forgot this was house of wax

SUE ???????

i mean tbf. what on EARTH is jared doing here. but maybe he would explain if he could get some dialogue

not that i don’t love silly chase scenes. i just wanna know Why yfeel

jared please leave sue alone

SUE YOUR SHOES?

oh weaponshoes. punch shoes.

ok i was here for killing matt or whatever his name was but cathy didn’t deserve that :/// cmon jared

I DIDNT THINK THOSE AUTOMOBILES WENT FAST ENOUGH TO HURT ANYBODY AHSJSGSJGXJAGSJSBAN

dont call dead women “honey” like that that’s weird.

I DONT THINK EMBALMING FLUID MAKES PEOPLE SIT UP LIKE THAT.

someone sit up again that was funny

YAYYYYY HI JARED

he is just scrimbling around……..

boy what on earth are you doing

is he going to defenestrate her bo- HE IS OH MY GODDDD

who is helping him. what

JARED DONT STEAL BODIES?????

“no human being can look like that” you wouldn’t say that about a scarred vet you chunk of shit i oughta kick you in the both of your balls

who is this very attractive man in the apron……….

JARED OH MY GOD. HI JARED !!!!!!!! how.

igor is so pretty and so fucking talented. would. in a heartbeat i would.

jared’s wheelchair fucking rules. vincent should’ve used a wheelchair i think.

i wonder if this is really how any of this process goes. it makes more sense than vinnie’s godawful shower

MATT FALLING OUT OF THE BOX AJSHSJHSNZHSJSB

daaamn this movie has an intermission. not even an hour in

HELLO PADDLEBALL MAN

OH MY GOD IT MOOOOOOOOVESSSSSSSSS

the 3d nonsense is so funny omg

THE LADIES PEEKING THE WAX DICK SKDHJDBSNDB

WAX CHOPPPPP

oh millie :(

WHY DO YOU CARRY SMELLING SALTS. JARED. IS THAT TYPICAL 50S BEHAVIOR. (genuinely unsure)

just a dead ass body on display lmao get fucked matt

the chamber of what.

OH MY GOD CATHY.

jared this is why we don’t just put wax on human bodies. you get found out by the friends of the deceased. also the rotting

jared please dont kill sue i like sue. i liked cathy :((

jared seems like a chill dude. aside from the.

waves my hand vaguely. You Know

please got JUST SCULPT HER. JARED. JUST SCULPT HER. STOP CHEATING

something is deeply wrong w the paddleball man. sir this is post-hayes code why do you have balls in your mouth

JARED. JUST ASK HER TO MODEL. CHRIST.

honestly tho WHAT is the explanation for his face. please. pl

THOSE DRESSES LOOK SOOOOO FUN TO SPIN AROUND IN !!!!!!!! 🥰��️

“you never saw a show like this in provincetown” MASSACHUSETTS MENTIONED 🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞 (there r no chickadee/elm/mass flag emojis)

PTOWN ALSO MENTIONED 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

girl put your ass away i’m here to watch vincent price be Odd and Peculiar

“cathy had the habit of wearing an earring in her right ear. she had the lobe of her right ear only pierced for that” cathy was out there in 1953 using flags for gay men to spot each other not established for another two decades

sometimes i watch dancers in old movies like this and i try to spot my grandma maggiepat. that’s not really related to the movie but i do wonder. i know she was in the red shoes…

“why should joan of arc have her right ear pierced?” “why not? they wore them then.” “two, not one.” WHY DID CATHY ONLY WEAR ONE THEN !!!!!! someone who knows about 50s culture help me

ohh his name is henry jared. whatever.

the long highwaisted skirts….. :)) 🕯️

sue. sue get down from there

igor is SOOO HANDSOME god okay i’ll be normal sorry 😔

jared. no. bad. knock that off. spraying him with a squirt bottle

god he’s INCREDIBLY charming tho. mad props to mr price

oh my god LEON..

sue should Not be in here alone at night. girl this is a horror movie and you are TRESPASSING

oh hello skeleton

unidentified fucking thing just drifting creepily around the room 🆗🆒

WIG…………….

hiiii mr price

ok jared can walk like. fine. who ACTUALLY fucking killed cathy whose physicality was that

HE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE A WAX FACE …….

JARED SHES STILL ALIVE. JARED. JARED.

why was leon convinced by that guy pouring liquor djgsjdbs

idc what happens i could fix igor. me and him and vincent sinclair. fuck timelines

hdkdhjdgd THIS FUCKING GUYY

i’d let igor do this to me. who said that.

HES SO RESOURCEFUL AND INTELLIGENT

girl what is scratching the wax gonna do. be serious

LET IGOR BEHEAD THIS GUY

HE IS DEAF AND MUTE LEAVE HIM ALONE STOP SLAPPING HIM I WILL BECOME VIOLENCE

why are you using the pointy end of that thing to bust thru this door. surely there are more effective ways to go about this

goodbye pig

“every time i shave i can still feel that guillotine blade” it never made contact with you. or you would be dead. dont try to be funny

why did shane sneeze.

NOOOOOOO IGOR :((((((((

[mageofseven]

Thank you so much explaining. Sorry about my slow brain hehe 😅

Anyway! Please enjoy~

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

Lucifer:

This man was pretending to be patient as he waited on his Love to finish getting dressed in the bathroom.

The pride demon had just bought the human a new dress that he knew they'd love and now was looking for to seeing their reaction to wearing it just as much and the human was to their boyfriend seeing it on them.

MC opened the door, a bashful smile on their face as they stepped out with the dress on.

"Beautiful." The demon stepped forward and took their hand in his before kissing it.

"The dress is amazing..." The human agreed with him.

"I wasn't talking about the dress." The pride demon smirked. "Though I suppose it fulfilled it's purpose by bringing that smile to your face."

"But now I have a pretty dress and no where to go." MC pretended to pout.

"Don't worry; I have a few ideas, Love."

Mammon:

The demon was waiting on MC to finish getting ready so they could head to the casino.

The human had volunteered to distract the other players and said they had just bought the perfect dress for the job.

When the door finally opened, this man couldn't stop himself from staring.

"Babe? Hello? Babe?" MC waved their hand in front of the demon's face.

Face red, their boyfriend turned away.

"Why'd ya gotta go and wear that?" He mumbled. "You're supposed to be distracting the other guys, not me."

MC giggled and kissed his cheek.

"So are we ready to head out?"

"Yeah, yeah, let's go, Human."

Leviathan:

"Sweetie! Sweetie look!"

The man was in a boss battle in the game he was playing.

"Henry, not now!"

Mc leaned in and whispered into his ear.

"Oh baby boy~"

The demon dropped his controller like he always did when they called him that.

"H-Hey, that's not--"

That's when he saw them.

"2B?!?!"

Mc laughed and put on their best 2B voice.

"Don't call me 'ma'am'; it's unnecessary."

Holy shit. This man's brain broke.

"Hehe someone thinks he's dreaming." The human teased. "I made it myself for the convention next month~"

Guess who has to make a matching 9S cosplay now?

This man is excited.

Satan:

The two planned on having a study date and MC decided to wear their new sweater.

MC practically skipped into the library, excited to show it off to their boyfriend.

"Tawny~"

The blonde looked up from his book.

He smirked.

"Well I see someone has no intentions of studying."

"That depends..." MC said with a blush. "What else would you wanna do?"

"I have a few ideas..." He leaned for a kiss.

Its me, HI

Its just you know Mammon has the new outfit with the 'window', and I thought what if MC got a new outfit?. So I was wondering if you've wrote anything like those.

Maybe it's like getting a new dress?

Again, MAMMON ILY

Maybe it's because I basically just woke up, but I have no clue what outfit you are talking about it 😅

When did Mammon get a new outfit exactly?

[dear-departed]

Strong MC (lesson 16)

I'm calling this part one of the 3 AM chronicles, it was meant to be mostly funny, but some of them got kinda angsty and obviously, there's violence.

I just got to thinking, what if in a different timeline, MC is just jacked and ends up beating the ever-loving shit out of Belphegor?

I hope you enjoy!

Also, P.S. don't be scared to use the ask box, pretty please use the ask box, I wanna know what my audience enjoys because while I love writing and I write what I want, I also want to make some of you happy as well. :)

Warnings: Violence, angst, a brief sexual joke in Asmo's section, lesson 16 spoilers

Word count: 1.9k

Lucifer ♥ 

He’s always been impressed by your strength since you first came to the Devildom, if not, a little confused. 

He’s seen plenty of strong humans, he knows body builders exist in the human world, but he thought it was a small percentage of them  

Never did he think that a strong human would be summoned to the devildom, specifically, a non-magical strong human. 

He heard a scream of absolute horror that sounded a lot like the youngest demon brother. 

At first, he’s confused, but also very concerned. Hadn’t he put a sound-blocking spell on the attic door? 

He’s quick to hurry his way up to the attic, only to see you... with the 7th ruler of hell, let me repeat that for those in the back; human who has one of the rulers of hell pinned beneath them, your foot pressing on the back of his skull, his arms bent around his backside, held in place by your knee, both of your arms struggling to keep his tail in place. 

He’s speechless. It’s not often the Avatar of Pride is devoid of any words, but this is one of those moments. 

Um. Thank goodness you’re not hurt? Yes, that’s the correct reaction. Oh thank my old man that you aren’t hurt 

I mean, he knew that was Belphie’s plan all along, to hurt the exchange student so Diavolo’s reputation is ruined, so at least that wouldn’t happen. 

Mammon ♥ 

Unlike Lucifer, your strength doesn’t make him worry any less. 

He won’t say it though, he’ll just kind of follow you around and say it’s his duty to protect you, only as your first man, of course. 

But he figured that you were safe in the house, so he didn’t worry nearly as much when you were home. 

He was just chilling in his room one day, scrolling through Devilgram when he heard Belphie’s scream. 

Well, at least it isn’t him that’s getting strung up by Lucifer. It was nice knowing you, Belphie 

… 

Huh. Isn’t Belphie supposed to be in the human world? 

He starts following the source of the screaming only to see you on top of Belphie, your eyes wide in shock, chest heaving as they stare at the back of the youngest’s head. 

Lucifer’s already ordering everybody back, so Mammon stays on the side lines and starts snapping photos, oh, these are going to going to sell so good!~ 

He can’t help but let out a little giggle, did Belphegor, the 7th ruler of hell, really get a royal ass-beating from the human exchange student? Absolute gold. 

He is, of course, worried. He kind of wants to jump in and punch Belphie himself, I mean, why the hell would you look so scared if he wasn’t being a little brat?  

With all due respect, though, with the state that Lucifer’s in, he figures it’s not a good idea to get in the middle of anything.  

Leviathan ♥ 

At first, he was kind of scared of you 

I mean, seeing you casually lifting weights with Beel kind of made him wimp out of making friends with you, but he was actually pretty shocked to find out you enjoyed the same things that he did.  

He has a bad habit of hiding behind you in social events. Not because he expects you to protect him or anything, because obviously even a strong human can’t beat a demon, let alone protect a ruler of hell.  

He was actually working on a cosplay at the time of the great ass-whooping, revamping his older Ruri-chan costume, to be exact. 

Huh, wasn’t that Belphie screaming? Weird.  

That was Belphie screaming. 

Belphie is not supposed to come back to the Devildom until the exchange program is over. Huh. Maybe he misheard it. So, he stays in his room, because why would be show anyone but convention folks his cosplay? 

Until he gets a text from Mammon. A pic of Mammon’s gorgeous, shocked face, with the caption “BRO GET YOUR ASS UP HERE” 

He trots his happy ass up to the attic, which he finds weird, how did Belphie end up here before anyone noticed him coming into the house of- 

LMAO THIS IS COMEDIC GOLD 

Wait a minute, if... if you beat the shit out of Belphie, what could happen to him if you got mad? 

He’s kind of caught in his head while this whole ordeal is going down, he wants to laugh, really, but he also wants to cower and hide. Did he really underestimate you? I mean, he knew you were strong but Belphie literally has the power of a demon behind him. He has a literal extra appendage, and yet you took him down. 

Freaky. 

Everyone was too engrossed in Belphie being humiliated to even make a big deal about his cosplay, which he couldn’t be more grateful for.  

Satan ♥ 

He’s always been grateful for your willingness to answer his questions.  

He would ask Solomon about human stuff, but a couple-thousand-year-old sorcerer isn’t really the prime example of a regular human. 

He really doesn’t have a lot of opinions about your strength, he was a little shocked, yes, and kind of felt the same as Lucifer with the whole “I thought only a small percent of humans were strong what the hell went wrong/right?” 

He’s getting his daily reading in one day, sitting down with a book and just taking a moment to himself, blocking himself away from the weight of the world outside of his room. 

He hears loud, thundering footsteps outside, like a tank is running through the house. Beel. 

He better not raid the fucking fridge again I swear to dad if he does Satan is going to lose his marbles. 

He immediately sets down his book and darts out after Beel, not saying anything quite yet, just wanting to make sure he isn’t wrongly accusing his younger brother, for some odd reason. 

Fully expecting the Avatar of Gluttony to dart to the kitchen, he’s kind of shocked when Beel takes a turn toward the staircase up to the attic. 

I mean, yes, he heard a scream that sounded an awful lot like Belphegor from the attic, but he kind of figured Mammon maybe just had a voice crack when he was being strung up again.  

And that’s when he sees it. 

Like Lucifer, he’s just kind of... shocked. Speechless. He knew you were strong but literally pinning down the 7th ruler of hell? That’s a big feat for a lower demon, let alone a human. 

Asmodeus ♥ 

He praises himself for his slender figure but he never said he didn’t enjoy muscle on his lovers, either. 

From the day you arrived in the Devildom, he’s begging you to carry him, or give him a deep-tissue back massage, or really, anything, he makes any excuse to be around you. 

He loves how strong you are, he can take a little manhandling, you know that, right MC? Just don’t be rough on his face <3 

He was sitting in his room on that fateful day, getting out his nail polish and waiting for you. You did mention that you had one more thing to take care of before you could join him, but should it really be taking this long? 

He’s used to hearing screams in the House of Lamentation, from Mammon being strung from the ceiling, and of course, screams from his own bedroom, but this was unlike any of those.  

It was Belphie, screaming, no, shrieking at the top of his lungs. 

Did he come back early? Oh, I bet he didn’t remember to keep those gorgeous nails of his painted. 

He hears the thumping of two pairs of feet racing through the hallway, and immediately he’s intrigued.  

So now he’s trailing behind Satan and Beel up to the attic, where he finds Belphegor, the 7th ruler of hell, pinned beneath... you? 

But... MC... why isn’t he the one being pinned? Has he not been good to you? 

In all seriousness, he’s shocked, horrified, even. You look so... frightened. Deep in his chest, he feels as though your heart beat is part of him, your thundering pulse. 

He doesn’t like seeing your pretty little face contorted in fear. 

Beelzebub ♥ 

He’s absolutely stoked that he gets to have a workout buddy in the Devildom! I mean, you can’t lift the same amount of weight as he can, because he’s a demon, and huge, and... yeah 

But still, you’re great to have around. He feels a little less hungry when he’s around you, it’s like you ease the pain, the pain of feeling like he’s starving all the time, and the pain of not having Belphie around. 

There’s not much Beelzebub wouldn’t do for you. 

That being said, there’s also not a lot he wouldn’t do for Belphegor, either. 

He’s been awaiting his twin’s return for who knows how long, so when he hears that scream from the attic, he’s confused. He starts to wonder if his mind is playing tricks on him, maybe he’s starting to hear things from being too hungry.  

No. No, there’s no way he could just ‘imagine’ hearing Belphie shriek. He can also feel a little pang in his chest, his heart rate picking up as if he himself were panicked. 

He wastes no time thundering down the hall and up the attic staircase, completely unaware that both Satan and Asmo are hot on his heels. 

He pushes past Mammon with one broad shoulder, staring down at you with Belphie pinned beneath him. 

Something in his head is so confused. Who should he be upset with? Should he be upset at anyone? Why do you look scared? Why is Belphie in his demon form? 

His mind feels like its going through a rinse and spin cycle. 

“...Lucifer. What’s going on?” 

The words roll from his tongue, his tone less of a question and more of a demand, the need to get some answers. 

Belphegor ♥ 

I mean yeah, you looked sort of strong, but he’s literally one of the rulers of hell. Really, his plan should have worked out fine. 

You just opened the attic door and of course, he offers you a hug. How can you protest? After all, he’s just been so nice to you. 

“In any event, MC, all I can do is thank you. Now I can finally achieve what I set out to do!” He says as he sprawls out his arms toward you, a hazy smile on his face. 

Blinded by the joy of finally accomplishing your goal of freeing Belphegor, you accept his hug, melting into his arms.  

“Ah... this really brings back memories. This feeling... I wonder how long it’s been since I’ve touched a human?” 

His comforting embrace starts to sing a different tune, his body suddenly tensing up.  

“So, MC... how can I express how I’m feeling right now? What can I do?” He scowls, his horns sprouting, his tail slowly unfurling and beginning to snake around your leg, his attire changing before your very eyes.  

You feel his cool, slender fingers lace themselves around your neck, his nails digging little crescents into the soft flesh of your throat.  

As your head starts to spin, he cranes his head back a little, letting out a giggle that turns into an open-mouthed cackle, his menacing canines gleaming beneath the dim glow of the attic lights. 

“Heheh... FUCK-” As quickly as his demeanor changed, so did the tables. The tables didn’t just turn, they did a fucking backflip. 

Before he can even get over the rush of adrenaline that clouds his thoughts, you’ve already escaped, scrambling to try and pin him. 

He’s shrieking like a banshee as the two of you tussle, his inner dialog just repeating “what the fuck went wrong” over and over again. 

This couldn’t have gone any worse.

[hornime]

voyeurant | kenma kozume x f!reader

he tentatively wrapped a palm around the shaft, shuddering at the contact, his eyelids fluttering shut. god, i’m such a pervert, thinking about her like this. she’d hate me if she knew i saw her like that, knew that i was touching myself thinking about her tits...

warnings: 18+, timeskip!kenma, kinda dubcon, kenma’s unintentionally pervy, male masturbation, poorly written video game content (i tried my best), mutual pining but u both are oblivious

w/c: 1.5k

a/n: yes, the title is a shitty pun of valorant. no, i will not be changing it. also this tiktok about timeskip kenma made me giggle so pls enjoy.

voyeurant: part one ↓ | part two | part three:

“fuck, i hate this map,” kenma grumbled into his headset.

your voiced chimed in his ears. “is it ascent?” you turned to see his face on your screen, pinched in annoyance. “ha, it is ascent. sucks for you.”

“which one are you on? haven?”

“you know it,” you chuckled. “your favorite.”

“i hate you.” he weighed his options, did he really want to play this game? the layout of the world made it irritatingly hard to strategize, and today’s losing streak was making him more agitated than usual. with a sign, he closed the application. “fuck this. i’m gonna go piss.”

“yeah, yeah, you’re such a big baby. and...” you released your mouse, throwing your hands up in triumph, “we just won. at this point, i’m gonna outrank you.” you were joking, of course. kenma wasn’t just a gamer, he was kodzuken, one of japan’s best pro-gamers, and you were just someone that played as a hobby. but it was always fun to tease.

“hmm,” he hummed. “i’m sure you will.” he turned his head to look directly at his webcam, smirking, “in your dreams.”

“ooh, catboy’s getting feisty!” he flinched at the nickname. “go pee so i can beat you at your best.”

he obliged, pulling his headphones off and looping them on the top of his chair. he casually raised his middle finger at you while smoothing out strands of his hair, prompting a series of profanities to escape your mouth, none of which he could hear. he chuckled playfully as you responded with two middle fingers of your own, before moving out of the camera to get to the bathroom.

you and kenma had met in an... interesting way, to say the least. after going moderately viral from lashing out at him for refusing to heal you in a game of overwatch—while he was streaming—the two of you reconciled over a twitter thread and exchanged gamer tags. since then, you’d struck up an easygoing friendship, characterized by almost nightly discord calls and occasional flirting. but we’re just friends, you often reminded yourself. and you were fine, well, mostly fine, with that.

tonight was like any other night: both you and him spending hours in a video chat with nothing better to do than mindlessly play games and bash each other. it was more than enough to strengthen your relationship but fell short of giving you the romantic tension you craved.

with kenma off in the bathroom, you, already bored, spun wildly in your chair. forgetting that your earbuds were still plugged in, the white wire caught on an opened can of coke sitting on your desk, spilling the sugary drink all over your keyboard and the front of your shirt. 

“shit!” you quickly scrambled for paper towels, but the still-connected wire yanked you backwards. in your haste for something to wipe the soda with, the fact that your camera remained on in the video call completely slipped your mind. making the split-second decision that the trip for a towel wasn’t worth it at this point, you quickly whipped off your shirt, dabbing the keys with the part that was still dry. since you were home, you’d gone braless, and your current predicament had you flashing your webcam.

now, kenma had seen a lot of things from your side of the call: he’d seen you get chewed out by your residential advisor for being too loud, you with two sticks of pocky poking out of your mouth like walrus tusks, and you doing random cosplay moves you’d seen on tiktok. what he wasn’t expecting to see, not even in his wildest dreams, was a screenful of your tits, slightly damp from the cola that had seeped through the fabric of your long-gone shirt.

he stopped in his tracks, still out of the frame of his camera, eyes wide and heart racing, desperately trying to calm down and prevent the gradual hardening of his cock in his pants. unable to deny his desires, he continued staring at your plump breasts on his computer, you completely unaware that he could see you.

you quickly threw your soaked top in the laundry basket before throwing on a random sweatshirt and trying to calm your frazzled nerves. you tentatively touched your keyboard, groaning internally when you fingers lightly stuck to the buttons. it’s gonna take forever to clean this, you mourned.

“hey,” kenma mumbled, reappearing on screen and shaking you out of your thoughts.

“hey.” you noticed his flushed expression. “are you okay? you look really red.”

“uh, yeah. i actually uh, i feel kinda sick. so i’m gonna, gonna go.”

“oh, okay.” why’s he acting so weird? “feel better!” you disconnected from the call with a huff, disappointment morphing your face into a pout. well, you thought, better get to cleaning.

kenma, on the other hand, was still, swallowing as the bulge in his boxers became agonizingly hard. though the only thing left on his screen was his reflection staring back at him, the luscious view of your bust was etched in his mind. his hands moved to free his cock, the tip an angry red and smearing pre-cum over the waistband of his underwear. 

he tentatively wrapped a palm around the shaft, shuddering at the contact, his eyelids fluttering shut. god, i’m such a pervert, thinking about her like this. she’d hate me if she knew i saw her like that, knew that i was touching myself thinking about her tits...

“fuck,” he whined, slowly stroking up and down. his thighs trembled as he fell back into his chair, mind wandering. he couldn’t stop himself, his thoughts become more and more lewd, fantasizing about how your breasts would bounce as he thrusted into you, how your thighs would wrap warmly around your head as he ate you out, how you’d cry out his name so prettily when he made you squirt around his fingers.

it was all too much, and as the circle he made with his fingers tightened as he reached his tip, he lurched forward, alarmed at how good everything felt just by thinking about you. i can’t cum, i can’t, the small part of his brain that wasn’t completely overtaken with pleasure tried to reason with him. there’s no going back if i—shit—if i cum. she’ll know, somehow, if i—if i cum, i—

the ecstasy kept clouding his judgement and his body worked against his mind as his hand pumped faster and faster while his conscience screamed to stop. his wrist wetly slapped the base of his cock, the sounds of both his hands and his moans getting too loud for comfort, but all he could think about was you. your eyes, your mouth, your chest, your legs, your ass, your pussy. god, he wanted to be in you so badly.

he couldn’t hold back, his insatiable need to cum overriding his senses, and the translucent liquid twitched out of his throbbing cock in spurts, drenching his fist and his balls. “fuck, fuck, fuck. i’m—fuck.”

he collapsed against the back of his chair, chest heaving with the sheer intensity of his orgasm. he combed a hand through his hair, the consequences of his actions now weighing heavily on his shoulders. i’m never gonna be able to look at her in the eyes again, he lamented. how am i ever gonna—damn it. 

the sudden ping of a notification had his eyes raising from the mess on his pants towards his computer screen. 

meanwhile, you were messaging kenma, a little off-put by his sudden radio silence but chalking it all up to his mysterious sickness.

[11:05 PM] you: hey ken! hope u feel better

[11:05 PM] you: if u get the chance u should check out what i added to our minecraft house. its perfect for sick victorian orphans like u

[12:14 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: why arent u responding

[12:05 PM] you: guess

[12:05 PM] you: ok u got me ill tell u

[12:05 PM] you: its a hot tub

[12:05 PM] you: but with soup

[12:05 PM] you: but the soup is lava

[12:05 PM] you: genius right

[12:06 PM] you: anyway get some sleep and feel better <3

[12:06 PM] you: lmk if u wanna play animal crossing

[12:06 PM] you: actually no u should sleep. rest ur eyes and shit

[12:06 PM] you: no animal crossing for u!

[12:06 PM] you: sleep well so i can destroy ur ass in val tmrw

[12:06 PM] you: >:)

he sighed as he read your one-sided ramblings. he really liked you.

and he really wanted to fuck you. lucky for you, you wanted the exact same thing. 

if only kenma knew what you did on the other side of the screen, hands in your undies and his name on your lips...

>> part two

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

[jadnejadnejadne]

There's a running joke among some of my friends that if I was any Gym Leader, I'd be Larry (never fully elaborated on), and the joke went as far as me cosplaying him once, but after reading this, yeah, I get this guy. I wanna do Great Things in my life, but I feel so incredibly average and unremarkable, and I wonder if I'll ever have the drive to do anything.

And adding to that, I respect Geeta's efforts. Having that devotion to finding people and helping them reach their full potential, even if that involves some pushing, is pretty awesome. It's a much more intriguing perception to view this from over "She's just overworking him for the shits and giggles."

i must chat about geeta for a bit. can't really do that well on twitter, so i'll do it here. Mainly about her canonical relationship with her subordinate, Larry. Seems the gag is that she's an over-baring boss working him to the bone, and YEAHHHh she sort of is. BUT I don't think she's being mean or rude to him. The issue is that she thinks that Larry is very talented and should push himself, or at least be more motivated. And well, Larry believes himself to be very average, as we all know. What are we putting effort into? 'I'm just some guy'. The Blueberry academy DLC allows for them to chat for a little while, and offers more info on how they do or don't get along. Masters EX, now that Geeta has been introduced, has some more information on Geeta's thoughts about Larry as well.

( that's not what he meant geeta) She says she recommended him for an out of region competition after this. My analysis: "Would traveling get you excited for your work, Mr. Larry?" Also it implies that it's difficult to convince him to travel? He must like to stick to his hunting grounds. Hopefully this isn't a mistranslation.

Here's where she mentions him in Masters EX

She also talks about her hobby of gem collecting, really on the nose about her job of scoping out and recruiting rare or sparkling talent. She sees something in him that he doesn't, considering she allows/recommends him to do so much. I know much of it is for Larry's salaryman joke, BUT. it's very interesting that Geeta is keenly aware that one of her employees is unmotivated. He must really have something going on that he's oblivious to, because she has no intentions of letting him go. This may be hard to see in the game, because of how it's staged for us as players, but in the reality of the story, Larry's gym is considered difficult. The first rough patch in the journey to region champion ( i had a tough time with him because i forget what normal types are weak to, but that's besides the point )

The REAL POINT IS, Geeta values Larry, so she's gonna be a little annoying.

[potato-jem]

i just realised that i still have my notes from watching the mortal instruments movie for the first time in my notes app, because i wanted to share my thoughts with my best friend. 

so naturally, i’m going to put it on the internet. 

LILY COLLINS OMG

‘it’s my birthday, i wanna go to a club,’ don’t, you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into

oh hello jocelyn *tucks hair behind ear*

luke looks too old and too young at the same time

ok clary is a better friend than me, i would never attend a poetry reading

simon you couldn’t be more obvious if you tried

how did she do that in her coffee without looking

why does she want to get in a club just because it has a mysterious symbol on it

AYO ISABELLE??!!!

clary dearest, when we see mysterious people stab someone, we do not scream

jace looks like he’s sucked on a lemon (actually low-key what i thought tom riddle should look like)

clary you literally did this, why are you surprised about the symbols hanging up in your room

jace, when we like a girl, we do not show up at coffee shops in some thing that looks like an eBay cosplay knockoff 

HOLD THE PHONE, JACE IS BRITISH?

jocelyn is so hot

why is jace standing like that

girlboss gatekeep gaslight

is the dog meant to be the lizard thing

okay why did jace kill it, clary needed her girl boss moment

‘okay, i did just save your life’ i may have giggled

why does jace immediately know it’s the cup

i don’t remember anything she’d want me to forget

of course simon makes a dnd reference

sorry, i cannot take the humping leg guy seriously, like his haircut, his accent

jace said acab

clary, girl. don’t just ask men to strip for you, especially himbos like jace

alec looks WAY too old

isabelle looks too dorky

BAHAHAHA HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THE SILENT BROTHERS SERIOUSLY

not jace and my granddad saying the same thing at the cemetery 

WHERE IS THE THING WHERE JACE PULLS HER HAIR OUT, THAT WAS TOO CUTE NOT TO INCLUDE

oh there it is

they don’t have guns in the book ffs

alec is such a piss baby in this

when did this turn into fifty shades of grey

the gang of vampires looks like a scene out of a horror video game

fight scene to techno? a vibe?

TWILIGHT 2.0

nvm, jace is also a piss baby

‘my one true love is myself’ ‘at least you don’t have to worry about rejection’ ‘i turn myself down once in a while to keep it interesting’

the garden looks familiar 

jace stop being emo

ew 

why are they dry all of a sudden

‘why didn’t you say you had him in your bed? we wouldn’t all fit’ stop being petty jace

why does it take a minute for jace to take off all his weapons

i think you need your door fixed

um where’s simon’s archery skills

clary, hug jace too

fuck you hodge

why does valentine look like a pirate

THE WAY THE WOLF TOOK OUT THE KID HAHAHAHAH

how did luke get dressed that quickly

me @ children

has if hodge spoils the whole jace x clary plot line

i love how magnus only raises his hood a little: a warlock? *lifts hood slightly* MAGNUS THE WARLOCK?

‘can you see it?’ *looks up at burning orange beacon of light* ‘idk maybe’

tf why is jocelyn floating like that

okay why did you crave it on your hand

YES CLARY KILL HIM

valentine doesn’t deserve rights

isabelle looks like a ghostbuster with a flamethrower

this sounds like a male tennis match

SPARRING

question, how did valentine do the pentagram with spears

sorry for laughing, but asking someone if they like to play music before slamming their face into a piano…

YUH KICK HIS ASS CLARY

snow in da library, let’s go

clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere

some matilda type shit

not jace using pick up lines when he thinks clary’s his sister *cue sweet home alabama*

why isn’t the motorcycle flying

[zukump3]

tiktok obsessed || hcs

anon said: Could you please write some some hc’s for izuku mina amjiki and denki with an black SO who loves doing TikTok challenges or who just loves TikTok in general? 🤎🤎

genre: just fluff <3 these cutie pies being cutie pies

he ADORESSS ur little addiction

thinks it’s the cutest thing srsly

whenever he sees you scrolling through your fyp before class he always sits next to you to watch the videos

“ooh—we should do a challenge like that!”

he never asks to be in any tiktoks that you make if you make any but he secretly wants you 🥺

you’d have to reach out to him

“zuku!! wanna do this challenge with me?”

“a c-challenge?” his big eyes would light up and he’d smile so wide his teeth would show. “heck yeah!!”

he’d send you cute tiktoks every now and then

makes diys from tiktok too smh

“dancing in my room... swaying my feet”

u get a little famous on the app because you and your boyfriend are the cutest things ever

SHE LOOOOVES IT

she also has a huge obsession with tiktok so you two are always quoting shit together

you’d probably annoy everyone else with how much you quote shit

entering class and when mina spots aizawa in his sleeping bad, she’s obviously say

“it’s the sleeping during class but getting mad when we do it for me..”

aizawa is just. so confused

y’all obviously do dances together omg

making tiktoks during lunch >>

everyone is SO tired of seeing you two shake your asses

“can you two go one day without being inappropriate?!” iida would literally shout at you 😭

you’d both hit him with the “is it because i’m black?” “is it because i’m pink?”

u two are the two pretty girlfriends

doesn’t know how to react to ur obsession

he has tiktok, but he only gets on it maybe once every few days

so having you be so obsessed with it is weird to him

“the app isn’t that good anyway...” tamaki would mutter, seeing you scroll away for the sixth time that day

“i mean—it all depends on what kind of content you’re getting!” you’d giggle. “i get good content so it’s fun for me~”

you’d eventually have to help him around the app bc he has no idea what he’s doing

he’s the PERFECT boy to use for couple challenges / pranks bc he’s so shy

and your followers love his reactions

you did the “walking in on your bf naked” prank and he froze and started nose bleeding

the comments: “HES SOOOO CUTE PLS” “wish i had a bf that reacted like that smh”

he’s kind of camera shy, so he wouldn’t really be in your videos a lot

but if you asked he would say yes because he wants you happy 🥺

once he finally finds out how to use the app, he’ll binge your content and save a few videos for later 😳

BEST BOY ALSO ADDICTED TO TIKTOK

you two send at least 10 tiktoks to each other EVERY DAY

definitely says “eating a burger with no honey mustard” in bakugo’s ear until the red eyed boy screams so loud at him

DOES THOSE COSPLAY TRENDS

u two sing to each other across class omg

“hey y/n”

“yeah?”

“you should be..”

“😏 i’m not gonna be mercy-“

“should’ve picked MERCYYYYYY”

will drool when you do the buss it challenge

u two are the famous popular pretty couple on tiktok i don’t make the rules

youre ALWAYS in each other’s videos or recording for each other

you find yourself humming songs you found on the app a lot

bakusquad is so annoyed of you two but you’re having so much fun that you could give less of a damn HAHAHA