#i very strongly disagreed but i appreciated the effort he put in even if it was a pre-written response LMAO

[hyunin]

omg as an aside from my tags on the last post. i briefly worked for a company that wrote letters to political reps on behalf of constituents who couldn't/wouldn't write to them themselves for whatever reason and i know for a fact that letters are WAAAAY more effective at influencing government officials than emails are, and sometimes they're even more effective than calls. emails are better than nothing but a lot of times (especially if they all have the same subject line/content) they will just be considered spam and get deleted without making it to the rep at all. letters are way more likely to make it to them for them to read! they Are more effort but that is a big part of why they're more influential too. so if there's an issue you're passionate about i rly encourage u to write a letter/letters to the people who can do something about it 🙏 there are websites out there where you can write the content of a letter to your rep and they will send it for you but i don't have any on hand atm, but otherwise writing and sending a letter yourself is not as intimidating as it might seem and is a great way to make your voice heard

[ravenrune]

For @barenecessiteas No warnings. Around 600 words. I hope you like it ♥

General Luis Relationship Headcanons

Luis likes to joke around, sometimes even when he shouldn't be. He can't really help himself, as his mouth works faster than his brain and he loves to make you laugh. If he starts to annoy you, just let him know. He can be serious if you ask him to be.

Luis will drag you out of the house if you're having a bad day. He'll take you somewhere unexpected, like a museum where there are only paintings of chairs or something. He will always do his best to cheer you up and might even make a fool of himself if he thinks that'll do the trick.

Luis is inventive, and he likes solving problems. Your problems are no exception. If it’s a practical problem, he’ll come up with a logical solution really fast. If it's more of a luxury problem he may try to invent something. Don’t be surprised if he’s suddenly created a contraption that folds the laundry for you. It may not work as intended, but it came from good intentions.

Luis doesn't like getting up early and will hit the snooze button over and over again until you drag him out of bed. He'll complain like a kid that doesn't want to go to school, even though he loves working as a biologist. He's just not a morning person. Making him breakfast isn’t something you have to do, but he’ll love you even more if you do it once in a while. He’ll happily cook dinner in return.

He likes to take walks at night. It helps him clear his brain and come up with his best ideas. While he may be used to taking his walks alone, Luis will appreciate it if you join him from time to time.

Luis really loves it when you show interest in his work. He's very passionate about his research, and he really wants to share that passion with people. He would never be condescending if there's something you don't understand because he thinks it's important that people keep learning new things throughout their lives. He will of course show the same interest in your work and hobbies. Heck, he may even try your hobbies too, if you’d like him to.

He may be a great guy, but nobody is without flaws. Luis can be very argumentative. He’s an opinionated person and often feels very strongly about whatever is going on in life. He’s a great debater, too, so if you find yourself in disagreement you’ll have to come up with some solid arguments if you really want to change his mind. Don’t take it personally if he tries to start a debate with you. He loves to spar with people, and if he does it with you it just means he thinks you’re intelligent. Feel free to agree to disagree. He may keep talking for a bit, but he’ll stop eventually.

Luis is quite the romantic, but he finds it hard to commit to relationships and might’ve gone years without seeing the same person for more than a month. Once he’s decided you’re the one, though, he’ll put in a huge effort to make you feel appreciated and safe, and keep you entertained.

Luis will make for a great partner if you’re into enthusiastic, spontaneous, funny, and intelligent people. He’s willing to give almost everything you can think of a try, no matter how crazy your ideas might be. He’ll take good care of you, if you take good care of him, too. And don’t ever worry about setting personal boundaries with him. He’ll appreciate it because it shows you trust him, which means a lot to him.

[blu-joons]

DAD ENHYPEN A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Park Sunghoon

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Above all else Sunghoon was incredibly affectionate around you, he loved having you as close to each other whenever he could have you, refusing to ever let you and your bump out of his hold unless he really had to.

B ⇴ BUMP

Being around your bump always makes Sunghoon smile, which is all that he ever wants. At night he loves to curl around your bump and talk to your baby, letting them know all about how his day has gone and telling them all about the fun things that he has lined up for them ready for when they make their arrival too.

C ⇴ CRAVINGS

Sunghoon would always be more than happy to get you whatever snack you were craving, usually getting one for himself whilst he was there too. He never wanted to leave you eating alone, and if he was honest, he just loved the fact that he had an excuse to snack a little bit more too rather than sticking strictly to his diet.

D ⇴ DUE DATE

Although throughout the majority of your pregnancy your due date didn’t worry Sunghoon too much, when it came down to the last couple of weeks, he certainly began to worry a little bit more. He couldn’t help but open up to you about his worries, hoping that you would be a little bit worried too so that the two of you could both support each other and try and keep the other calm too rather than panicked.

E ⇴ EMOTIONS

Becoming a dad was always something that Sunghoon imagined for himself one day, but he didn’t imagine it happening quite so soon. The one thing he always made sure that you knew was that he would stick by your side, he was faithful and loyal at all times, and even though you certainly fretted as his career continued to grow, Sunghoon was absolutely certain that he wasn’t going to go anywhere and leave you alone.

F ⇴ FAMILY

With his career on the rise, Sunghoon’s family were absolutely incredible in supporting the two of you. They had always been Sunghoon’s biggest fans in encouraging him to follow his dreams, and so when they saw how important your baby was to Sunghoon they were more than willing to be there for the two of you when you needed them, filing the gaps in your life that Sunghoon sometimes left when he was working.

G ⇴ GENDER

It was a surprisingly long conversation for the two of you to decide whether you would find out the gender of your baby or not. The two of you were very thorough about the push and pull factors of finding out the gender or not, eventually settling on finding out the gender as it seemed the more logical to you both.

H ⇴ HEARTBEAT

Showing emotion was far from one of Sunghoon’s biggest strengths, but when he heard the beat of your baby’s heart, he struggled to hold himself back. His heart always got incredibly excited when he heard it, he couldn’t not tear up when he felt his heart quicken too from the adrenaline that came with the moment.

⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Sunghoon made an extra effort to tell you that he loved you whilst you were pregnant in the hope that it would prove to you just how appreciative he was of you. He didn’t tend to proclaim his love audibly often too much before your pregnancy, but when you needed him the most, he made absolutely sure that you knew.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

He would never kick off over anyone trying to make him jealous, Sunghoon was reserved when it came to conflict or disagreeing with someone and tended to try and just brush comments to one side. He would bottle all of his frustration up and refuse to open up to you, the last thing that he wanted to happen was for you to see that he wasn’t impressed, preparing to keep you under the impression that he was fine.

K ⇴ KICKS

Alongside the beat of your baby’s heart, their kicks were the other thing that Sunghoon held out for a lot too in your pregnancy. He absolutely adored whenever your baby kicked, it didn’t matter whether they were kicking strongly or lightly, just any hint of motion from them always put a smile on Sunghoon’s face.

L ⇴ LABOUR

He paid close attention to little details about you whilst you were in labour, trying his best to pick up on what you needed before you even asked had to ask Sunghoon for it. He had been very thorough in researching out all of the things that he could do for you whilst you were in labour in advance, making sure that he knew the right things to say and do in order to best possible help he could be for you.

M ⇴ MORNING SICKNESS

Sunghoon always made sure to be careful in the mornings with you and make sure that he always had everything organised the night before to be able to help you the following morning. He would have everything that you needed by the sink so that when you were finished throwing up, he could help sort you out immediately.

N ⇴ NURSERY

Your baby’s nursery was prepared well in advance by Sunghoon, he wanted to be as organised as possible in creating the room so that it was something that the two of you could sort quickly and not worry about.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Sunghoon was obsessed with your eyes, he could tell a lot about how you were feeling from the way that he looked at you, especially during labour, it was one of the biggest details that he paid attention to about you.

P ⇴ POST BIRTH

He was very clear that he was taking on the responsibilities around the house after you gave birth, refusing to let you do just about anything other than look after your baby. It didn’t matter how many times you tried to protest, Sunghoon would enforce everything and organise everything before you had the chance.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

Sunghoon was very honest with you and so when he began to worry about certain things he would ask if you had a moment so that he could offload on you and listen to what helpful advice you had to pass onto him.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

He really wanted to be able to teach your baby how to ice skating and show them one of his favourite things to do. Before your baby was even born, they had their own pair of skates hung up safely in their nursery for whenever they could fit into them so that Sunghoon could take them ice skating straight away.

S ⇴ SCANS

Your scan photos were one of the things that Sunghoon decided would be a good idea to add to your nursery. The two of you ended up creating a bit of a timeline across one of the walls of your nursery, so that you could look at how your baby had grown, and eventually look down to see them in their cot as well.

T ⇴ TEST

Neither of you ever expected that your illness would be as a result of pregnancy, it was a huge shock for you both, with the two of you needed a few days to really let the news settle in and realise how big of a change was coming.

U ⇴ ULTRASOUND

He’s very dependable, there’s never a shadow of doubt in your mind when it comes to your appointment to know Sunghoon will be there with you.

V ⇴ VISITS

The two of you were very excited to invite your family round, although Sunghoon was a little apprehensive, you were sure that you were alright and so Sunghoon trusted in you and invited them round to visit.

W ⇴ WAITING

Sunghoon is pretty patient when it comes to your baby arriving, he enjoys the buzz of pregnancy too and watching your bump grow.

X ⇴ XXXX

Whenever Sunghoon kisses you, it’s always done with a lot of intent, he’s not the best at showing you his emotions by using words, and so his actions and his affection show you the majority of the time how he feels.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his number one, you were his priority from start to end.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

At night, Sunghoon loves to cuddle up to you and feel your bump. The closer that he can have you to his chest the better, it’s always comforting for him to have you there and feel your baby as he falls asleep beside you.

---

Masterlist

[imherongraystairstrash]

De-age Will part 3

Part I

Part II

...

The next morning, Charlotte went into Will’s room to find that he was not in bed. She sighed and went about looking for him around the institute.

“Will,” she called out. “Where have you run off to?”

She walked through the corridors and peeked inside rooms, but she could find him anywhere. 

“Will?” She called again.

“What?”

Charlotte turned quickly and found Will, in his older, normal state. 

“You’re back.” She said in disbelief.

“What do you mean?”

Charlotte gaped, “I mean, you’re sixteen again! You’ve been restored to your previous age!” Charlotte rushed forward and hugged Will, wrapping her arms tightly around him. He stiffened under her embrace and pulled away. 

“Lord, Charlotte, it’s far too early for this. At least give me time to mentally prepare for your presence.”

Charlotte would be lying if she said that comment didn’t feel like a stab in the chest.

“Will, have you no memory of what transpired?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were a child.”

Will scrunched his eyebrows. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Charlotte felt her eyes widen as Will turned around and began walking, perhaps to the dining room. “You have no recollection of the spell?”

“Having you been sleeping well, Charlotte? Surely you can’t really think I was a child.”

“But you were.” Charlotte said as she followed him around the Institute. She cursed at his now long legs and she practically ran to keep up with him. She wished she could just pick him up, prop him on her hip and tell him to stop running away from her. She kept asking him questions, but he might as well have been a wall, as her inquiries seemed to bounce off of him. 

As they reached the main room, Sophie skidded to a stop. “Oh. You’re back to normal.” She said unenthusiastically. 

“Hullo Sophie!”

Sophie had an annoyed look on her face and she turned around, going back through the direction she came.

“My very rude, Sophie. Oh, how you brighten my mornings with your wonderful presence.”

Sophie grumbled something under her breath, but she was too far away to be heard. 

Henry walked in, saving Sophie from having to partake in further discussion. “Good morning, Lottie!” He kissed the top of her head. “Hello, Will!”

“Hello Henry.” Will said, trying to pry off some grim under his fingernails with a pocketknife.

Henry regarded him for a moment. “Weren’t you a toddler just yesterday?” 

“I dunno, Henry. Either I have amnesia from this whole episode or the whole lot of you should be emitted to Basilias to treat your schizophrenia.”

“Well, the probability of us all having schizophrenia is extremely slim at most and the fact that you have never picked up on it would have made it even less likely, therefore—”

“Maybe I didn’t wish to be rude and point it out.” Will said.

Sophie snorted from where she was cleaning out the chimney. 

“Do you disagree with that statement, Sophie?”

“As a matter a fact, I do. Since when have you ever wished to spare one’s feelings?”

Will regarded her before letting out a tsk. “Might want to slow down, Sophie. Your hideously, incoherent accent is slipping. We won’t be able to understand a single word that comes out of your mouth.”

Sophie clenched her jaw and mumbled something about Will being insufferable before going back to work.

“That was quite rude, Will.” Henry said. “Sophie tries very hard to speak proper english and you should do good to appreciate that effort.”

“Just like you appreciate Charlotte doing all of the work?”

“William! Henry helps run the institute.”

“I was referring to the bedroom but I suppose the running of the institute works too.”

Before anybody could say anything, Jem came into the room.

“Your back.” Jem said, a smile playing on his lips. 

“At least someone is happy.” Will said.

“We are all happy to have you back, Will.” Charlotte said exasperatedly. 

“Oh lord, you’re back. How unfortunate.” Jessamine said, entering the room.

Will raised his eyebrows at Charlotte who put her face in her hands. Henry put a hand on her shoulder and patted it as a way of attempting to soothe her.

…

After a long day, Will threw himself on the bed beside Jem. 

“Tell me the truth. Do you remember anything?” Jem asked, “Anything at all?”

Will put an arm over his face. “A little bit. It’s as though they are part of a vague collection of childhood memories, except that they happened yesterday.”

“Were you conscious of how you acted when you were little?”

“No! Did you think I wanted Charlotte to hold me like I was a child and, god forbid, read me bedtime stories?”

“But, you were a child.”

“Still.”

Jem shrugged. “I think we all want to be held, sometimes. The woes of adulthood make us yearn for a time when all was simplistic.”

Will turned to face Jem with a smirk. “Do you want to be held, Jemmy?”

“Not by your sorry ass.”

“Come now. It will be a manly embrace to solidify our platonic adoration for each other.”

“I’m getting the feeling that you want to be held by me.”

“Alas, you have caught me!”

Jem rolled his eyes lovingly.

“Will?”

“What?”

“Even if you are a bumbling idiot, I’m glad you’re back.”

Will smiled ruefully. “As am I.”

…

Those words flooded through Charlotte. She slowly turned and walked away from Jem’s room and back to her own. Much of her life she had spent being convinced Will felt indifferent to her. But maybe he tolerated her. Maybe he may sometimes enjoy her presence.

She’d concluded that Henry was fond of her. He may not feel as strongly towards her as to love her, but at least he enjoyed her presence. At least he found her a good companion, good enough to want to have children with her. If Henry could be fond of her, could it not be that Will could care for her as though she were an older sister?

It hurt that now Will was back to the way he was; hiding his pain through hurting others. She hated feeling powerless against helping people.

She put a hand to her abdomen. She’d been visiting the Silent Brothers (as she did regularly due to her position as Head of the Institute), hoping each time that one would pull her to the side and tell her she was with child. What a blessing it would be, both to her and Henry. She longed for a child so much that she wanted to stop by everyday; Silent Brothers were under the obligation to tell shadowhunter women when they were with child, no matter how early in the pregnancy they were.

But she always left without good news. 

Charlotte drifted to a large institute window and looked out. She watched mundanes walk down the streets, hurrying home before they caught the heavy rain that was due any moment now. She looked up at the grey sky and then down at the streets and finally she looked ahead at Blackfriars Bridge. She heard someone come behind her and craned her head up to find Henry. He looked like he was going to reach out and brush a lock of hair away from her face, but he hesitated and didn’t. Charlotte wanted to say something, but Henry looked out the window.

“What are you looking at, Lottie?” He asked.

“At nothing. Just outside.”

Henry considered the view before saying. “I sense there’s something in the wind.”

Charlotte nodded. “As do I, but I don’t believe it’s a good thing.” 

@tsccreatorsnet @atla-lok143 @hitheresomeoneusingthus @rinadragomir @youngreckless @autumnangel20 @julemmaes @cupcakesandkittens @fictionally-fantastic @stxr-thxif @writeforjordelia @itsdaughterofthemoon @jordeliasupremacy @cordelia-cardale @will-effing-herondale @axoloteca @heronstairs2014 @carstairstessa @minaxcarstairs 

[ducavalentinos]

Is Meyer's book on The Borgias subtitled 'Hidden History' or is that another book lol I want to make sure I get the right one (Meyer's is good, right?)

Yes, it’s the same book, anon. Is it good? I mean, it has its issues like any other bio. Personally I don’t think Meyer did a good job where Cesare, Lucrezia, and their sibling relationship are concerned. He doesn’t challenge much of the official narratives and assumptions made about their characters and lives, not like he does with Rodrigo. I don’t think they were his point of interest, either. Indeed, it’s easy to see his interest, his focus were on their father, Rodrigo, and his papacy as Alexander VI. I’ll put my thoughts under keep reading because idk if you are reading it now, and I don’t want to impose my conclusions about his work without you having formed your own first, so if you like you can check the rest after you’re done reading, or you can check it now, it’s your choice ;)

He is a diehard fan of Rodrigo, more so than previous scholars I think, although I’m still less of an expert on Rodrigo’s historical literature. So naturally, he tries his best to give him justice, and to set the record straight in regards to his reputation as Pope. I believe he follows De Roo, and the phenomenal work about Rodrigo and his family, published in 1924 iirc. I think it was Meyer’s intention to make De Roo’s research, and his great questionings more easily available towards a general audience, since De Roo’s work is very scholarly, very long and not so easy to find. And I understand what he was trying to do, I appreciate his effort, at least he tried to deliver something new, I just don’t think it worked out that well tbh. Because no matter how strongly you may disagree with De Roo’s interpretation of Rodrigo, some even call him an apologist (which he certainly was not imo), there is no denying his arguments are all incredibly well constructed. He meticulously exposes all of his evidence for his claims and conclusions. He gives the reader a pathway for his thought process. Meyer often does not offer evidence for his claims and conclusions about Rodrigo, much less about Cesare, Lucrezia, and other popes lol, nor he tries to explain his thought process at all. You have to guess, or just take his word for it, which always gets a big no no from me. And that leads to many confused moments, and contradictions on his part. It gets messy from time to time and you have to check other sources. He also goes about the wrong routes when trying to give Rodrigo justice. His tactic is basically: I’ll attack and blame anyone around Rodrigo, esp. Cesare, in order to acquit him. Cesare has to be thrown under the bus, again, (as he always is by all sides btw) in order for Rodrigo to get his rehabilitation. He is the “dark force” working behind his father, forcing him to do his will. Which not only it’s laughable, it’s also truly unfair to Cesare as it is for Rodrigo himself. He was not a Sixtus IV. He was and remain the patriach of the family until the end. And in the same way he doesn’t deserve to still be remember as one of the worst Popes in history (quite contrary actually) Cesare also doesn’t deserve to be everyone’s scapegoat, and still remember as this evil tyrant, or Renaissance’s villain. Or perpetually as Machiavelli’s Prince, with all its negative implications attached to it. The latter which, whether Meyer intended or not, he certainly feeds into it and helps to perpetuate. In addition, this narrative doesn’t help in understanding Rodrigo and Cesare’s complex and amazing relationship. It completely ignores the fact they mostly worked together, and their interests were very much interwined. That they were one of the most remarkable, powerful duo of this period. One that made the whole of Italy tremble in envy, anxiety and hatred for their accomplisments. Understanding their dynamics has a direct link to understanding one of the key factors of how the Borgian myths came about, and it was a missed opportunity for Meyer, sadly. De Roo seems to have understood this better, unlike other Rodrigo scholars I’ve read, he miraculously tried to be fair to both father and son. Giving them a honest, equal treatment. He does not see the need to attack nor blame others to justify Rodrigo’s behavior. He prefers to simply insert the man within his historical and social context, and let the evidence do the talking. Only pointing out what’s malicious gossip with its political agenda behind it, and what’s hostile and uncredible sources. Had Meyer followed these routes and approaches of De Roo here, instead of not offering historical evidence to back up his claims, and letting his bias go unchecked, his book would have been better imo. As it is, it’s ok. Definitely better than Bradford’s bios for example, (not a hard thing to accomplish tbh, but still lol) or the other more popular, generic bios about the Borgia family. The same caution needs to be applied though, when it comes to Rodrigo’s family, as well as other people outside his family. Meyer is accurate about the lords of the Romagna in general, but not so much about other Popes. He tends to be a bit too harsh and dishonest about them and their papacies, again, in order to rehabilitate Rodrigo. Other good aspects for me about his book were his treatment of Juan Borgia, he was possibly the least venomous one, that I've read. Dealing with him more fairly than others, at least acknowledging we don't actually have a lot about Juan to make so many claims about his character. And I adored the way he constructed the book, with chapters about Italy in between the ones about the Borgia family. It was the hightest point for me. It was a nice, creative addition, that allows you to understand the political and social context of the time the Borgias were borned and lived in. If you already know these things, it’s still very enjoyable to read it. Meyer, like the majority of Borgia scholars, is clearly a skilled writer. I really wish he would write a bio about the Catholic Church and Italian politics from the 11th to 16th century. I think he would thrive there.

[arosnowflake]

I cannot stop thinking about aro!Mytho it’s SUCH good concept. 

The thing is, while I did come to appreciate his character more upon rewatch, I do think there was a huge missed opportunity in Princess Tutu by not really having him challenge the fate set out for him. There were elements and allusions to it (in him choosing Rue, the Raven’s daughter, as his princess, the hint that he might never be unaffected by the raven’s blood, and of course him stating he wants to ‘love Rue more than anyone else’, which. we’ll get to), but overall, he was what was expected of him and did what was expected of him when it was expected of him. And that makes sense, he’s the only character who actually did get created for the sake of Drosselmeyer’s story, but I still think the anime could’ve been more powerful if he, too, had chosen to defy the story. 

The nature of ‘love’ in Princess Tutu is really interesting to me, in no large part because I’m aromantic. Personally, I felt like Princess Tutu, for the most part, didn’t separate romantic and platonic love. There were some exceptions, such as the fact that Rue and Mytho’s feelings for each other were obviously coded as romantic, but even then, it could get blurry. Rue was manipulated to believe only the Raven and Mytho could love her, but at no point is there a distinction drawn between the type of love they’d have for her. 

You can also see this with how the show handles Ahiru’s crush on Mytho; while it starts off as romantic, it gradually changes to platonic. I’ve seen some people say that Ahiru stops loving Mytho, and I strongly disagree with that assessment. Until the very end, Ahiru is willing to go to the ends of the earth for Mytho, in what is pretty clearly framed as an act of love. 

But while it’s implied the nature of her love has shifted, at no point does the show imply the intensity of her love has diminished. If anything, it has grown. In a similar way, Fakir and Ahiru’s love for each other is never explicitly framed or implied to be either romantic or platonic; you could make arguments for it, sure, but ultimately, it’s never made ‘canon’. 

This is because, at the end of the day, it isn’t important. It doesn’t really matter whether the love you feel for someone else is platonic or romantic, and the show makes little effort to distinguish the two. The only time the show implies one is stronger than the other is when Mytho says he wishes to love Rue more than anyone else, which is something that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, but even then, you could argue it’s less about romance, and more about giving Rue what she always wanted, and having Mytho defy his ‘loves everyone’ designation. 

The amorphous nature of love in Princess Tutu is a large part of why I think the idea of an aromantic Mytho is so interesting. Prince Siegfried’s whole deal was being the ideal fairytale prince, who is loved by everyone and who loves everyone in return. In canon, he defied this expectation by loving Rue more than anyone else. 

But to me, at least, this feels like less of a defiance, and more of an extension. Loving Rue in no way prohibits loving anyone else; this is a lesson Rue herself had to learn during the course of the show. I admit to being biased here because I really don’t like the implication that loving someone romantically is stronger than loving someone platonically, but I also simply don’t think this was that much of a subversion. If anything, it feels like a natural consequence of Mytho regaining his heart; it’s near impossible for someone to love everyone equally, after all.

None of this is bad, for the record. It works just fine within the context of the story, framing Mytho as a person rather than a flawless fairytale prince. But I think the idea of Mytho being aromantic would reinforce that personhood in a different way, and in addition, add some interesting questions about love to the show’s canon.

Recently within the aromantic community, there has been a bit of backlash to an idea that was - and still is - very prominent within the aro community: the importance of platonic love. Society, as a whole, positions love as an almost supernatural good, and claims it is what makes us human. As a result, aromantic people, who either cannot fall in love romantically or have unusual ways of doing so, felt the need to reinforce their humanity by pointing out that we can still feel platonic love. This has become a cornerstone of the community. 

The backlash has come primarily from neurodivergent and traumatized aros, who can (for various reasons) feel disconnected from or uncomfortable with the concept of love in general. This is where the concept of ‘loveless aros’ stems from. The identity doesn’t necessarily mean that one doesn’t experience love (though many people do define it as such), but is primarily meant as a way to challenge the idea that love is what makes us human, and that platonic love is what gives aromantics their worth despite not being able to love romantically (or doing so in ways that aren’t ‘societally approved’). If love is what makes us human, why is it that there are humans who don’t feel it, or don’t want to feel it? 

Princess Tutu is, in no large part, a show about love. Personally, as an aro with a complicated relationship to love, I think it does better than most shows about the subject. While I really do like and enjoy shows about the strength of love (specifically platonic love), I can’t help but feel alienated by them as they praise this idea of an all-important, universal, almost divine emotion that is the cause of all good on the planet. Because that is absolutely not my experience with the concept of love. 

Princess Tutu does better than most shows not just because it puts platonic love and romantic love on equal footing, and in fact largely doesn’t sepearte the two, but also because it’s willing to show the negative effects that love can have. Toxic love is a huge part of the show, and while I don’t think all aspects of it were handled 100% brilliantly (Fakir should’ve at least apologized to Mytho for his behaviour in the first few episodes, for starters), I am impressed by how well it manages to examine the concept nonetheless. It’s part of the reason why Princess Tutu alienates me less than a lot of other shows with similar themes.

But it still frames love as something more important than all other emotions, in a way, the pinnacle of emotion. And I think it would be interesting to challenge that notion by making Mytho an aro, specifically, a loveless aro.

I do not necessarily mean that in the sense that he should not feel love (though I wouldn’t mind that either). I mean it in the sense of the fairytale prince, said to love everyone, rejecting that notion. Love has brought Mytho great things, sure, but also terrible things; it’s what lifted the Raven’s enchantment, but also what put the enchantment on him in the first place. I don’t think it would be a stretch to say it’s very possible that this left him with rather complicated emotions towards the concept of love. 

What if he found himself incapable of loving Rue more than anyone, no matter how much he wanted to, because he does care deeply about her and feels like she deserves someone who gives her that kind of love? What if the prince who loves everyone grew resentful of the hurts he’d suffered in the name of love? What if it made him fearful of it, even? Who does that leave him as? If he’s not Prince Siegfried, the prince who loves everyone, who is he? Who is Mytho?

Of course, he’s still infinitely kind, and his first instinct is to help everyone in trouble, and he has no problem following that instinct through. But I think the notion of Prince Siegfried rejecting the idea of love, and instead valuing kindness above all else to be a fascinating one. I think it lends a lot of depth to both his character and the show’s themes of love. 

So yeah loveless aro!Mytho is a GREAT concept actually.

[turinn]

for the fictional character ask: 18, 20 and 30 !!

Assuming this is for enstars? if you want another fandom lmk!

18. Who is in need of a good ass-kicking?

He is my beloved but Rinne <3 I really need to explain this one though because I have REASONS. I have analysed him a LOT and I think he has some pretty bad self esteem issues and that's a big part of why he paints himself as the bad guy when if you look at him carefully he really isn't w-w but he DOES bring other people into that a lot and it hurts them and that's not on at all and like. Just go to fucking therapy bestie. sometimes I look at rinne and I just feel like this.

BUT he would not listen at all if you tried to talk to him. we know that for a fact because Hiiro does! Hiiro tries to talk to him about why he ran away from home which is definitely related And Rinne just fucking runs away. So like. I think i would literally have to fight him to make him listen to me. I want to knock some sense into him. you don't HAVE to be the bad guy!!!! you don't have to do that you literally do not please. anyway yeah he needs his ass kicked.

honourable mention: gatekeeper but not for any good reason like with Rinne, I just fucking DESPISE gatekeeper I want to throw him out of a plane

20. Whose storyline would I rewrite?

honestly nobody's? even when I disagree with Akira's decisions, he really goes HARD with writing enstars and a lot of what he puts into the stories are very personal, and I strongly appreciate all of the effort and love funnelled into this stupid little idol game of all things (like. I'm pretty sure Akira has written novels and shit? and yet he's out here putting his whole pussy into ENSEMBLE STARS? like okay king!) SO, while there are things that could have been handled better in the past (Arashi's gender for example), and characters from ! who I wish had had a lot more emphasis (EDEN), I would simply want to change those few factors rather than rewrite anybodys storyline completely.

30. Who would I ask for advice?

Shocking answer here /s: Tatsumi. He's just so good at giving advice! He really is just this fatherly, trustworthy man who knows what he's doing and is capable of helping you see a solution in most situations, and if I ever needed advice on anything I would 100% go to him first.

[enneagramwingmiranda]

Parks and Recreation: The actual enneagram types of Leslie, Ron, Tom, April, Andy, Donna, Ben, Chris, and Jerry

The Protagonist: Leslie Knope [Type 3]

“I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.”

Enneagram Wing: 3w2 (Achiever along with a helper)

"I care. I care a lot. It's kinda my thing."

Core Fear: Being exposed as or thought incompetent, inefficient, or worthless; failing to be or appear successful

Core Desire: Having high status and respect, being admired, successful, and valuable

Leslie feels her purpose is to make the world a better place, specifically Pawnee, since this is the place she holds dear to her heart and is the most reachable for her. Her identity is defined by her work and her drive and passion are what allow her to continue to move up the latter. She takes rejection and set backs hard, however, she always gets back up and continues to move forward to reach her goals. Her influence shapes the hearts and minds of her coworkers. She inspires them to be better people and to find what they are meant to do in life and do it. Along with her go-getter attitude, she goes above and beyond for her friends (2) and they greatly appreciate her care and efforts. As for her childhood wound, she has described her mother as cold and withholding so we can only assume that she received praise and attention only from the achievements she made. Her mother also works in government and only respects those with an assertive and dominant presence. 

The Sensible Friend: Ann Perkins [Type 6]

“As Leslie’s maid of honor, I really need her bachelorette party to go well, which is why I’m stress eating gummy penises.”

Enneagram wing: 6w7 (Loyalist along with an enthusiast)

“I’m putting myself out there, meeting some new people, having some causal fun, and it’s awkward.”

Core Fear: Fearing fear itself, being without support, security, or guidance; being blamed, targeted, alone, or physically abandoned

Core Desire: Having security, guidance, and support

Ann is by far the most sensible character. She is the person everyone knows they can rely on. Andy unfortunately took advantage of this quality resulting in her becoming his caretaker rather than remaining an equal. Leslie appreciates her sensibility and this is what makes them such great friends. However, Leslie can trigger Ann’s already existing anxiety from her high expectations and good intentioned pushy behavior. Another side of the coin of is her fear of ending up alone. She is constantly dating and even settles a few times to avoid loneliness. It is when she takes the time to be single and soothes this fear that she and Chris end up together. Ann also has an adventurous streak. She likes to go out and have a good time. She just sometimes needs a little push from Chris, Leslie, or Donna.

The True Introvert: Ron Swanson [Type 5]

“That is a canvas sheet, the most versatile object known to man. It can be used to make tents, backpacks, shoes, stretchers, sails, tarpaulins, and I suppose, in the most dire of circumstances, it can be a surface on which to make art.”

Enneagram wing: 5w4|5w6 (Balanced)

“Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.”

Core Fear: Being annihilated, invaded, or not existing; being thought incapable or ignorant; having obligations placed upon you or your energy being completely depleted   

Core Desire: Being capable and competent 

Ron is an intellect, constantly going off on philosophical tangents about the corrupt ways of government, effective life hacks, and flawed human nature. He believes there is only one way to do things and his ways of going about things are very unique to himself (4). He is a non-conformist. He loves learning new things and adding to his craft. He is a breakfast and wood enthusiast. Ron is quite guarded and withdrawn from the world and prefers this. His childhood wound is that his mother was intrusive and over-controlling so we can assume he felt exposed and defenseless. This followed Ron in adulthood as he had many toxic relationships with women similar to her. Thus, Ron feels he is best served to live in isolation and fend for himself, as well as, rely on cerebral means rather than emotional means. Ron demonstrates his wing 6 with his desire to be safe and have security.

The Entrepreneur: Tom Haverford [Type 3]

“At the risk bragging, one of the things I’m best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit. 

Enneagram wing: 3w4 (Achiever along with an individualist)

“‘Zerts’ are what I call desserts. ‘Trée-trées’ are entrées. I call sandwiches ‘sammies,’ ‘sandoozles,’ or ‘Adam Sandlers.’ Air conditioners are ‘cool blasterz’ with a ‘z’ — I don’t know where that came from. I call cakes ‘big ol’ cookies.’ I call noodles ‘long-ass rice.’ Fried chicken is ‘fry-fry chicky-chick.’ Chicken parm is ‘chicky-chicky-parm-parm.’ Chicken cacciatore? ‘Chicky-cacc.’ I call eggs ‘pre-birds,’ or ‘future birds.’ Root beer is ‘super water.’ Tortillas are ‘bean blankets.’ And I call forks ‘food rakes.’”

Core Fear: Being exposed as or thought incompetent, inefficient, or worthless; failing to be or appear successful

Core Desire: Having high status and respect, being admired, successful, and valuable

Tom measures his entire worth from his successes and failures. He is extremely creative and is constantly coming up with unique ideas to form a successful business. 

The Misanthrope: April Ludgate [Type 4]

“I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree.”

Enneagram wing: 4w5 (Individualist along with investigator)

“If you ever speak me to me in Spanish please use the formal “usted”.

Core Fear: Being inadequate, emotionally cut off, plain, mundane, defective, flawed, or insignificant

Core Desire: Being unique, special, and authentic

April portrays major apathy but it’s clearly done to hide her genuine care and insecurity. She wants to be unique and special, thus overdoing it with her quirky, odd, eccentric, nonconformist talk and lifestyle. Her speech and way of behaving is an oxymoron. She deep down wants what everyone else wants: real love, real friendship, and a successful career. As she grows up and matures, she moves further away from her exaggerated dark persona to a normal expressive, mature adult. However, she adds in whatever she needs to to maintain her individuality. April also values cerebral pursuits shown in her getting accepted to an exceptional veterinary school. Her wing 5 is what helps her identify with so much with Ron.

The Charming Goofball: Andy Dwyer [Type 9]

“It’s fine. It’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I’m always tired.”

Enneagram wing: 9w8 (Peacemaker along with the challenger)

“I’m not crying. I’m just allergic to jerks!”

Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection and relationship with others 

Core Desire: Having inner stability and peace of mind

The epitome of Andy’s character is his easy-going nature. He is also very caring and thoughtful. He rarely ever voices if anything is bothering him and we see him go through great lengths to end any conflict between he and April. He attempts to make things right with Ann after their break up but doesn’t succeed. Andy possess a child-like mindset and view of the world and this is what seems to serve as a coping skill for the trials and tribulations of life. This also makes him endearing and what makes him perfect for April as she holds a similar mentality. 

The Nerd: Ben Wyatt [Type 1]

“I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it’s going to bug me if I don’t.”

Enneagram wing: 1w9 (Reformer along with peacemaker)

“Stick to the list and you’ll do great. I have total faith in you... (there’s like a 30% chance they’ll both die.)”

Core Fear: Being wrong, bad, evil, inappropriate, unredeemable, or corruptible

Core Desire: Having integrity, being good, balanced, accurate, virtuous, and right 

Ben is straightforward and willing to tell the truth, even if it could offend someone. He likes things to be in order. He often feels like the odd one out in the parks department because he values principles and professionalism while his colleagues behave inappropriately. He admires Leslie for her quirky professionalism. Ben also desires a peaceful environment and will keep quiet about things bothering him resulting in passive aggressive behavior.

The Optimist: Chris Traeger [Type 7]

“The world is my gymnasium, Ron.”

Enneagram wing: 7w6 (Enthusiast along with loyalist)

“I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I’m going to do.”

Core Fear: Being deprived, trapped in emotional pain, limited, or bored; missing out on something fun

Core Desire: Being happy, fully satisfied, and content

Chris is extremely positive all the time to cover up his true inner turmoil. He had a tough childhood and coped with the trauma by avoiding the negative emotions and putting his focus on his health. Thus he became a health nut. In the field of clinical psychology, he would most likely be diagnosed with orthorexia. Chris has a lot of anxiety about life and desires to feel a sense of safety in his life and relationships, thus making him fall into the wing 6. He desires the guidance and support from others (he started seeing a counselor 5 times a week during his depressive episode). 

The Minx: Donna Meagle [Type 8]

“You better watch yourself.”

Enneagram wing: 8w7 (Challenger along with enthusiast)

“Treat yourself.”

Core Fear: Being weak, powerless, harmed, controlled, vulnerable, manipulated, and left at the mercy of injustice

Core Desire: Protecting yourself and those in your inner circle

Donna is the epitome of “an independent black woman who don’t need no man.” She essentially dos onto others what she fears they will do onto her.  Thus, she manipulates and abuses vulnerable men to get what she wants and then leaves them. We can assume that something happened in her childhood that resulted in this relationship pattern. She discusses her grandma dying while having a threesome so this behavior was certainly model for her. She falls on the 7 wing for her enjoyment of life's greatest pleasures. 

The Target: Jerry Gergich [Type 9]

“So I go by Terry now. They already had a Larry in the Parks department, and they suggested that they change my name to Terry. I told them my real name was Garry, and they said ‘who cares?’ What a fun bunch of guys.”

Enneagram wing: 9w1 (Peacemaker along with reformer)

“Well, you know it's like I always say 'it ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice.”

Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection and relationship with others

Core Desire: Having inner stability and peace of mind 

Jerry is clearly a peacemaker in that he keeps his mouth shut despite his constant abuse from his colleagues at the parks department. He identifies with Andy in that Tom was trying to dub him as the new office target due to his similar easygoing nature and clumsiness. He shows that he is a wing 1 in his values of goodness and morality.

[firebirdsdaughter]

We really ignoring Horobi murdering Izu who not trying to kill him and the fact while he didn’t started this cycle. He sure as hell doing himself no favors by murdering Izu who Artuo closet ally and act all surprised when Artuo hate him. Not acknowledging he the cause for this malice in Artuo. Should Artuo still try to get though to him even though he murder Izu who got no back up compare to Jin who died before and can very well be bought back again?

…

Uh.

Can I just ask… Why are you on my blog? It’s not like I’ve been subtle about my love for Horobi. And you must be on my blog bc I’m pretty sure I haven’t put any of those thoughts in the main tag, and have been carefully tagging them as complaining/negativity/opinions/salt.

1) I’m not saying Horobi was ‘right,’ I’m saying he isn’t in a sane place right now and this wasn’t a ‘cold blooded murder,’ esp bc I’m pretty sure he understands that he regrets it now. He’s been trained for more than ten years to respond to things w/ extremity and violence, as evidenced by the Ark having him repeatedly take out or try to take out things/people that were making him feel in any way—what happened w/ Midori, why he was driven to attack Jin in 41. From Horobi’s extremely damaged and fucked up perspective, he just wanted to make the pain and confusion go away. He didn’t try to hunt out Izu, she approached him, and knowingly endangered herself. Which is why I’m also calling the fact that we’ve seen Izu move faster than a car, she could have dodged the shot and didn’t, so it’s ineffective as drama bc it was easily preventable. I’m calling bs on the writing.

2) Horobi’s definitely not surprised that Aruto hates him? He might be surprised that Aruto went full Ark (I am, too, that feels out of character, I would’ve expected him to just go regular berserk on his own). I’m not saying it’s wrong for Aruto to be mad. Like I just said, I would have expected him to go berserk on his own, which might have ended up leading to Jin’s death anyway. Like… Where did you get that. Actually don’t answer that. Aruto getting angry and going after Horobi would have been one thing, though the way he went Ark is weird to me. What bugs me is the way it’s being treated/reacted to as a ‘black and white’ situation when it should be more grey. Horobi is mentally unwell, and there were multiple factors at work/responsible for the situation. This isn’t just ‘Horobi is a bad person it’s all his fault.’ This is also ‘contrived drama by the writers who are hoping we forgot Izu can break land-speed records.’

2.5) I’m not expecting Aruto to reach out to him at this point. Hell, I’m not even saying ‘forgive’ him, even though I think by this point Horobi has figured out he regrets it. What should really happen is someone else intervenes and keeps them away from each other until both are more stable. Really, someone should have stepped in to control that on both ends. Aruto shouldn’t have been left alone. Neither of them should have. I do think more effort should have gone into reaching out to him before it happened. If they hadn’t been alone in there/if someone w/ a little more ‘emotional/mental experience’ had been present, things might’ve gone differently.

3) Izu still not having a back up is ridiculous, literally everyone knows Aruto is Zero-One, this feels like just terrible planning/lack lustre writing imo, and on top of that, Horobi didn’t know she had no backup. Still doesn’t make his reaction ‘okay,’ bc violence is never the answer, but he’s shown before he believes in bringing AI back through backups, so it may not even have occurred to him that she wouldn’t have one. Additionally, we don’t know Jin has a back up. We can’t say he ‘can very well be brought back again’ bc we don’t actually know that. We don’t know if ZAIA kept that data, Williamson just said they ‘repaired’ him. And that’s also it, even if it exists, ZAIA has it. Not Horobi. Also… This is KR, they could figure out some MacGyver to bring Izu back, even if it’s not clear now, though that’s more of a meta thing. Actually, what I would love to happen is Horobi helps bring her back, maybe as part of therapy.

Look, disagreeing is fine. That’s why I’ve been trying to keep my negative reactions out of the main tag. I’m not trying to get into fights, I’m just venting. I’m analysing what I see and interpret. It’s not that Horobi was ‘right’ it’s that he’s mentally and emotionally unstable rn bc of what happened to him, he should not be expected to know how to react calmly to things, esp if under pressure and in an intense situation. I also literally just wrote a post about how I don’t think it’s fair to blame Izu entirely, either. I comment about blaming the humans (esp Yua and Fuwa (whom I love dearly), but they did escalate the situation and then leave Aruto alone there, wtf did they leave him alone???) bc if they’d listened to Izu at the start we’d likely not be in this mess, or if they’d actually tried to reach out to him before, things could have gone differently.

This is my point of view. If this is upsetting to you, which it seems to be from the tone of this Ask, I recommend blocking my blog, bc these are my feelings on this, and I’m not going to change. I’d block you so that you wouldn’t have to see my posts, but then you wouldn’t be able to see this answer, which I hope explains some of my position, so I’ll leave it for now. Besides, in the end, it’s just a tv show, and it doesn’t actually matter, for all I can get very emotional about things, esp bc Horobi as a character became very important to me.

I hope at least some of that was coherent. I have a hard time articulating my thoughts (part of why I repeat myself so much), and I have been extremely exhausted for the past few days bc my sleep schedule is messed up, so it’s even worse.

I’m not apologising for having an opinion and an interpretation of a piece of media, and I never will. That’s not something I should be required to apologise for. I’m not hurting anyone, bc, again, it’s just a tv show. I’m just in my corner, rambling. I don’t mean any of it as an attack against people who disagree, everyone interpret things differently. For instance, I have things in media that I dislike so much it makes me feel physically ill to think about them, but I just filter them out and it’s fine. I’m even on friendly terms (I hope?) w/ people who like some of those things that make me feel sick, but it’s fine, bc we just don’t discuss them. I know people I disagree about things w/, less viscerally, and have actually had discussions w/ them about that stuff.

Having differing opinions is one thing, but I don’t appreciate the aggressive tone here. I’m saying this partially bc I do understand getting very fired up about something, even if it’s fictional (*looks pointedly at my own blog*), so I’m assuming you just feel very strongly on the subject, but please be aware of how your words might come across—bc the another part of the reason I’m saying this is that I know if I had been in a slightly different mood when I saw this, it might have greatly upset me to unwell levels. I hope it was not your intention to attack me on anything, and that this is just something you feel passionate about, but as someone who often struggles w/ tone and knows it… Please consider it. It can be harmful.

[wordsablaze]

27~ Ransom

Magic and Misery Merlin might use magic to help Arthur but he rarely uses it to help himself, which leads to an awful lot of misery… written for whumptober, enjoy!

A/N: my friend got me in a wholesome mood so this is more fluff than angst, blame (or thank) them ^.^

-

Arthur has a reputation.

Everybody had always known that he was brave, skilled, stubborn, and genuinely good at heart. But slowly, they also came to know that he was fiercely protective, protective of his people, his knights, and most importantly, of Merlin.

It was never explicitly questioned - probably because challenging the whims of the crown prince was a risk nobody wanted to take - but rather, observed and learned.

Very quickly, the people of Camelot, no matter what status they were, knew to leave Merlin to his own devices. It definitely helped that Merlin was maybe the kindest, most loyal, and ridiculously helpful person that most people had ever met.

Most people were more than happy to see the boy from Ealdor grow closer to the Crown Prince, especially since their interactions were often a source of amusement, admiration, and awe.

But there would always be some that acted with a selfish combination of malice and greed.

Unfortunately, those people tend to act in the dead of night.

Merlin has no chance to fight back as someone materialises from the darkness and roughly places a hand over his mouth, a dangerous scent filling his senses as his limbs weaken and his eyes flutter shut.

He dimly wonders what it is this time - whether this is a result of his life as Merlin or Emrys - before he drops the basket he was carrying and falls unconscious.

The forgotten object clatters quietly to the ground as Merlin is harshly manoeuvred away, the ones responsible dragging him into the cover of the night as they retreat, sharing smug smirks and taking their time manhandling their target.

"Has anyone seen Merlin?" Arthur asks the next day, joining Lancelot and Gwaine where they're stood to one side of the training field.

Lancelot glances up sharply, concern filling his eyes within seconds. "What do you mean?"

"I haven't seen him all morning," Arthur explains, frowning; he'd thought Merlin had simply woken up late and chosen to join the knights instead of meeting him in his chambers.

At that, Gwaine raises an eyebrow. "Merlin would never miss training."

The three of them share an uneasy look before Leon jogs up to them. "Sire, there's someone who wants to speak to you."

Knowing that Leon wouldn't suggest leaving their training session unless it was something urgent and absolutely unavoidable - in other words, to do with Merlin - Arthur follows without missing a beat.

As do the other Knights.

There's a young girl waiting for them near the gates.

As Arthur approaches, she seems to relax, giving him a small, hopeful smile. "I knew I was right! I knew you'd help!"

Arthur glances at Leon before nodding at the girl. "Of course. What is it?"

The girl's smile falters as she pulls out a basket Arthur hadn't seen from behind her back and offers it to him. "It's Merlin's."

Elyan inhales sharply and takes it from her, well aware that Merlin wouldn't just leave it lying around, then glancing up in confusion when he finds only herbs inside, nothing to indicate why the girl has the basket in her possession.

"Do you know where he is?" Percival asks softly, ever the gentle giant.

The girl nods, then promptly shakes her head. "I don't know who it was, it was so dark and I was about to go over and say hello to Merlin but they came out of nowhere and-"

Leon steps forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, slow down, there's no rush. Tell us what you know."

"They just- they put something over his mouth and took him… they said they'd send a message and then they went south and I didn't know what to do, I'm sorry!" The girl looks ready to cry.

Arthur nods at her gratefully. "Thank you for your help. Really, I appreciate that you came forward."

Lancelot smiles at the kindness in Arthur's voice before winking at the girl. "Don't worry, we'll have Merlin back in no time."

The girl nods, smiling again before mumbling something about telling everyone else and disappearing. Choosing not to think too much about who she's going to tell, Arthur turns to the others.

"Well, looks like training will have to be relocated for today."

Without Merlin, though, it takes then twice the amount of time to organise horses and set off, the six of them not exactly knowing where they're going, their destination being only Merlin.

It turns out whoever had taken Merlin isn't the smartest.

Their camp isn't even slightly difficult to locate and Arthur just about rolls his eyes at their stupidity as he spots the smoke. But his amusement is taken over by anger when he hears loud laughing; how dare they laugh when they've hurt Merlin?

"We'll be quieter on foot," Elyan murmurs as they get closer.

The six of them tie their horses to a few trees and approach where the group had stupidly taken camp to assess the situation, all of them equally as outraged when they see Merlin tied to a tree, a woman with a knife pressed to his neck crouched in front of him.

He looks alright, Arthur notes, aside from the bruises.

Of course, the rope securing his gangly frame to the tree practically boils Arthur's blood, but he's glad he can't see any serious injuries; at least it isn't like other times where he's found Merlin halfway through death's doorway.

As Arthur and the knights watch, Merlin makes an incredulous face before glaring up at her, clearly disagreeing with whatever she's saying but not wanting to move due to her weapons.

Arthur moves to help him without realising it but Leon grabs his arm, holding him back as Merlin winces and jerks his foot away from the woman. Apparently she'd been hiding another knife.

There's something odd about Merlin's expression as his eyes follow her second knife but Arthur can't place it. The other knights have clearly noticed the same thing because Lancelot's frown is deep enough to make him look five years older.

"Something's wrong with Merlin," Gwaine comments, voicing the concern they all share.

The woman moves away but not before pressing the knife harder into Merlin's neck and leaving a thin red line in its wake. Merlin only bites his lip and lets his head fall back onto the tree, his posture relaxing slightly.

Only then does Arthur figure it out.

This must remind Merlin of the witchfinder.

He curses quietly but strongly, finally pulling away from Leon and making his way around the camp so that he's behind Merlin, the other knights guessing his plan and spreading out so they can jump in at a moment's notice.

Arthur waits until he thinks it's safe before quietly moving so he's beside Merlin.

"I let you out of my sight for one evening, Merlin…" Arthur whispers.

Merlin freezes, letting out a slow exhale. "What are you doing here?"

It takes Arthur a second to realise he'd even said anything, he's so subtle.

"What does it look like, idiot? Rescuing you!" Arthur hisses, torn between appreciating that Merlin is unharmed enough to question him or just being annoyed at his reaction.

He can almost feel Merlin roll his eyes. "They only want gold, they don't care for Camelot's secrets."

Arthur pauses.

"Gold?" he echoes.

He must echo it too loud because one of the men turns around and he barely has enough time to duck behind the tree before someone's walking their way.

Merlin coughs loudly to cover it up, sticking his leg out to make it look as if he were trying to trip the man up, trying his best to annoy him into forgetting what he'd intended to do.

It works.

The man growls and crouches so he can grab Merlin's jaw, squeezing until Merlin can't help but wince, still refusing to make a sound.

"Do you think me to be stupid?" The man all but snarls.

Merlin just shrugs awkwardly, unable to speak with the man stopping his jaw from moving, and it takes all of Arthur's willpower not to reveal himself and punch the man until he truly feels stupid.

"Play games with me again and I might forget I'm meant to keep you in good condition," he warns before pushing Merlin's head to one side as he leaves, bringing his foot down on Merlin's injured ankle as he does so.

Merlin bites back a gasp, letting his eyes close as he breathes heavily for a moment, focusing on slowly moving his jaw to try and lessen the dull throbbing.

"I'm going to kill him."

"Don't be a cabbage-head, Arthur," Merlin mumbles, keeping his head ducked so anyone watching can't tell he's talking.

Arthur exhales, trying to think of a plan, pleasantly surprised when he hears Merlin chuckle.

"I can feel the effort it's taking you to think of a plan. Just wait until they're all asleep," Merlin tells him.

Pulling a face at Merlin even though he can't see it, Arthur shakes his head. "What if they try something?"

"They've been ordered to leave me in good condition, remember?" Merlin reminds him.

Arthur sighs somewhat dramatically. "If they hurt you…"

Merlin clears his throat to cut him off. "I know, you can play the knight in shining armour."

They lapse into silence once they've stopped quietly laughing, Arthur briefly sneaking around to tell the other Knights the plan before returning to his spot behind Merlin's tree.

He forces himself to still as someone else, clearly a little drunk, approaches Merlin.

"Can I help you?" Merlin asks, sounding perfectly bored.

A girl who seems rather young for the bandit sort of life sits in front of him and buries one hand in his hair, almost playing with it as she frowns. "So, what is it about you?"

Merlin shrugs, more worried about Arthur being able to avoid losing his cool and revealing himself.

"I mean, you are pretty…" the girl continues, a wistful tone in her voice, "but you're also just a servant so that can't be it."

Merlin bristles, clenching his jaw.

Arthur also bristles, wishing he could stop those words from having been said at all; Merlin is far more than just a servant.

"I know people that would pay a lot for eyes as lovely as yours," the girl adds, staring at him with an uncomfortable intensity.

When Merlin says nothing, she prods his stomach, smiling in satisfaction when he gasps and curls into himself a little. "And you're not a mute. Nobody wants them back when we take them."

Arthur's frown deepens as he listens to her, wondering if this whole ransom thing is a business that's running right under his nose. He makes a mental note to look into it when they get back to Camelot.

The girl giggles as Merlin yelps and Arthur wishes he could see better.

"Do you think your prince will pay for you?" The girl asks and, if Arthur didn't know better, he might have called her tone innocent.

Merlin glares at her, pulling his head away. "You clearly don't know much about him."

"Then tell me!" the girl laughs, placing her hands on either side of Merlin's face. "Tell me what makes you so special!"

"Get your hands off me!" Merlin mutters instead.

"Not unless your ransom is paid," the girl all but chides, laughing again.

Unless?

Arthur glares daggers into the tree. As if there were any chance that he would let Merlin be taken from him without doing everything in his ability to get him back, whether that involved swords, gold, or anything else.

"Shouldn't you go and rest?" Merlin asks bitterly, trying his best not to meet her gaze.

The girl just giggles, shifting. "What if I'd rather spend time with you?"

Merlin huffs in irritation, clearly giving up on staying silent. "Don't get attached, I'll be gone soon."

"What makes you so sure?" The girl drawls.

Arthur had managed to control his rage so far but hearing Merlin hiss in pain after she asks that is too much and he steps out from behind the tree, his sword coming to a stop on her neck as he smirks.

"I do."

Merlin grins up at him.

Pushing the shocked girl away, Arthur cuts through the ropes and pulls Merlin up, stepping in front of him protectively.

The other knights take this as their cue to emerge, holding the leaders at swordpoint so nobody dares to move or attack them. A group of angry knights is not something most people want to face.

As the others successfully intimidate the bandits, Arthur turns to Merlin with a fierce smile. "You're not just a servant."

Merlin nods, rubbing his arms.

And he'd been right in the end, the others had all started to drink as night had drawn closer and, all things considered, the rescue mission goes incredibly smoothly.

"I could have handled that," Merlin grumbles as they get back to the horse, limping slightly and contradicting his own statement.

Lancelot gives him a funny look and nudges him lightly. "We don't doubt you for a second."

"But someone has to be the damsel once in a while," Gwaine laughs, releasing their horses.

Merlin just rolls his eyes but Arthur coughs pointedly, not quite happy with that. "Merlin, you may be the most incompetent servant I've ever had but I need you to know… I would have paid anything they'd demanded if it had come to that."

The smile that blooms on Merlin's face is, in Arthur's opinion, simply priceless.

"Thank you," Merlin says softly, glancing around their group gratefully.

"Anytime, Merlin," Elyan replies on behalf of everyone.

They hadn't been smart enough to bring a separate horse for Merlin so he ends up sharing with Arthur, which neither of them particularly want to complain about.

"Does this mean you care about me?" Merlin teases as they set off.

"Perhaps more than I should," Arthur murmurs, surprising both Merlin and himself with the confession.

Merlin just wraps his arms around Arthur in response.

If the other knights notice their matching blushes and poorly hidden smiles, they don't comment on it.

- 

like/reblog but please don’t repost, thanks! masterlist

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 5

5: Theatricality

Written by: Ryan Murphy Directed by: Ryan Murphy

Overall Thoughts: For a really, really long time this was my absolute favourite episode of all time. It’s still high up there, but unlike most people I actually really enjoyed the last two seasons of Glee, so this episode got bumped down a bit. Still, there is very little I don’t like about this episode. It manages to give several characters’ stories while still focusing on the main two stories of the episode. Unlike “Dream On”, I didn’t feel like I was watching a show about Finn, Rachel, Kurt, and Shelby. I felt like I was watching Glee.

What I Like:

Figgins thinking vampires are real and talking about how they need to keep vampirism out of McKinley.

Tina looking interested when Puck says “Catholic school girl”

“Happy meal, no onions. Or a chicken”

Kurt getting so excited over Lady Gaga. Oh, honey <3

“You don’t need an appointment at super-cuts. They love walk-in’s” CLAPBACK OF THE CENTURY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (this line makes me die of laughter every fucking time like oh my god Karofksy you are so genuinely stupid)

The Lady Gaga outfits!!!! Even Rachel’s original one, which I find hilarious and way more fitting for her personality than the one she gets later

“You look terrible. I look awesome”

“You want to name our daughter Jack Daniels? She’s a girl!” “Okay, fine, Jackie Daniels”

Shelby being honest with Rachel when she realized that she made a mistake by contacting her and that this wasn’t what she really wanted. I appreciate when characters can be honest when they mess up, even if it hurts them and other people.

Rachel being honest as well and admitting that she doesn’t feel that mother-daughter bond she always dreamed of with Shelby. I wish they’d gone a little deeper into this, but I’m still glad they mentioned it at all. Especially when Shelby says that it was when Rachel told her about her dad’s and how they would bring her water when she was sad. Shelby isn’t her mom, and it was silly for both of them to expect that. Rachel doesn’t have a mom – she has two dads. While I’m glad they explored the “where I come from” aspect of this, I’m also glad that they didn’t turn it into “I feel more connected to you because of biology than I do to my fathers who raised me”.

THAT WHOLE SCENE WITH KURT AND FINN AND BURT IN THE BASEMENT. There is so much I love about that scene. I could write an essay on that scene and how important it is. That scene literally defined Glee for me for so long. I’m so glad they did that scene.

Okay, I know it’s an insult and homophobic and gross but when Azimio says “being in football and being in Glee doesn’t make you versatile – it makes you bisexual” I always burst out laughing like oh my god I don’t know why I find that so funny.

Finn standing up for Kurt at the end. I will say though that, while I enjoy this, there are some things that I wish had been included as well, which I’ll talk more about later.

Artie and Mike being lil cuties and actually cheering for the girls and being super encouraging in their performance. Considering Artie was always portrayed as the most misogynistic of the guys, he actually is one of the few that openly and genuinely encourages the girls in their performances every fucking time.

Finn actually getting to react to seeing Puck and Quinn talk about the baby!!!!! That’s always been my biggest pet peeve – Finn literally thought he was going to be a father and that got ripped away from him, and he wasn’t ever shown to be angry about that. It was always just “oh boo-hoo Quinn cheated on me and Puck is my best friend woe is me” when really he should be mourning the loss of a child he thought was his, but then learnt was not. Like… I don’t know. Seeing him awkwardly look away reminds everyone that he genuinely thought that baby was his, and now he can’t go through this with Quinn. He’s obviously upset about it. Even though he’s a dink in this episode I still feel bad for him about this.

Will going to the effort to look into Lady Gaga and actually getting excited about her.

What I Don’t:

I already said this, but Finn is a dink in this episode. He’s getting bullied by Karofksy and Azimio, and instead of calling them out on being homophobic and sexist and engaging in toxic masculinity, he just falls into it. He turns that abuse onto Kurt, who he clearly thinks is the one who deserves the abuse. And like, I don’t get why he’s so freaked out around Kurt. Yeah, it’s obvious that Kurt has a crush on him, but when has he ever tried to make a blatant, obvious move (kiss him, touch him, grab him, etc)? When has he given Finn any reason to be worried about changing around him, or even just sharing a room with him? It’s homophobia and toxic masculinity at it’s finest. Add the whole “I don’t wanna do Gaga cause I’m a Man” bullshit that’s thrown into this episode and it’s just a mess. While I’m happy they had Finn stand up for Kurt at the end and wear the Lady Gaga outfit, it still took him being told by an older, straight man that he was being a piece of shit and homophobic and offensive and gross for him to realize what was happening. Plus, I don’t think they gave Finn enough of a chance to really redeem himself. I mean, come on, it’s really easy to say sorry and put on an outfit; actually changing your attitude is more of an uphill battle. I wish they’d re-visited this more at a later date (though not in the way they did in “Duets” when Kurt brings it up and it somehow turns on Kurt and makes Finn look like the victim which……. Fuck off)

Will being the one to tell Shelby what she needs to do with Rachel.

Will agreeing with Finn about how they always do what the girls want when the girls literally always get sidelined. Literally fuck off. I can’t stand this “boo hoo my masculinity is too fragile to perform a song by a theatrical woman I need to perform a manly song instead” “you’re right, I’ve been turning this Boys Club into a Girls Club. Time to take our manhood back!” Ew.

Finn, Puck and Matt not being supportive of the girls when they performed their awesome Gaga number. I feel like this show did that a lot – the guys don’t understand a performer, so they don’t encourage their teammates. Then, when they do a number, the girls are super supportive and encouraging. It’s annoying.

Okay, even though Finn is a dink in this episode, I still think that they shouldn’t have told him about moving in with Burt and Kurt like that. This decision affects him too – Carole should have sat him down and asked him what he wanted to do, and if they disagreed then figured out how they could come up with a compromise.

Also, yet another missed opportunity for bi!Finn! This whole episode could have been an awesome way to show internalized homophobia, especially with that line at the end where Finn is like “I am different”. But whatever.

“My dad’s can’t sow. I really need a mom right now” I mean, not every woman knows how to sow, Rachel. You clearly don’t know how to sow. Why would you assume that just because she’s technically a mother that Shelby knows how to sow?

Songs:

Funny Girl: While Idina Menzel sounds amazing in this, I find it boring and too long. It’s emotional because of Rachel, but whenever Rachel isn’t on screen I lose interest.

Bad Romance: An amazing number!!! I love when they do actual group numbers, where a bunch of them get solo lines. I think everyone except Rachel and Brittany sing in this one, which is amazing! Plus the costumes and the choreography is awesome! My only gripe is changing “I’m a free bitch, baby” to “I’m a freak, baby”, which I don’t understand cause they say the word “bitch” on Glee all the time (they literally sing a song titled “Bitch” like come on).

Shout It out Loud: An entertaining performance that is all too forgettable. I honestly can’t remember most of what happened in it, and I literally just watched it.

Beth: This song always brings tears to my eyes. It’s such an emotional moment, and the song is so melancholy. Plus Puck sounds amazing (and while I understand why the put Finn’s verse in there I still lowkey wish it had been a Puck solo).

Poker Face: I have never liked this version of the song, and I probably never will. I don’t think it transfers well to acoustic at all. I honestly cringe a little listening to it because the lyrics and the melody just don’t match up. I strongly dislike this song. No thanks.

Final Thoughts: While I wish they had gone further on a few elements, overall this episode is really strong. It’s funny (a lot of great one-liners), it’s emotional, and (with a few exceptions) has really good music. It’s definitely my favourite episode of season one, and I’ve watched it as a stand-alone more times than I can count. I really, really like this episode.

[foxyotomelady]

Another love, Chapter III (JuminxReader)

Author’s notes:

I hope this chapter is not too chaotic ;-;

Be aware of: strong language, slightly angst, my poor grammar.

And also be ready for THE DRAMA!

Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III (You are here) | Chapter IV | Chapter V | Chapter VI | Chapter VII | Chapter VIII | Chapter IX | Chapter X | Chapter XI | Chapter XII | Chapter XIII | Chapter XIV |

Buy Me A Ko-Fi Have a nice reading!

Jumin stared blankly at the documents in front of him, turning the pen in his fingers. He could not concentrate. In the eyes of his imagination, he still had a picture of what a wonderful morning he spent with Y/N.

He made pancakes for her and made her a cup of coffee. There was something extremely pleasant about preparing breakfast for someone else. The more so when this person appreciated the efforts. And she did.

She ate the pancakes with a big smile on her face, and then she began to worry that he would be late for work because of her. How cute. "Mr. Han."  Oh, and how sweet she looked in the pajamas he ordered for her - it was modest and girlish. He wanted to see her in something more defiant, but it was definitely too early for such steps on his part. His boldness would scare her away. "Mr. Han."  Or maybe he was wrong? In the end, she put on a silk dress with her back exposed yesterday.  "Mr Han!" Jaehee suddenly and violently put some papers on his desk. His fingers tightened and the pen jumped out of his hand, then flew across the entire width of the office.

He looked up at Jaehee blankly, "Yes?"  She gave him a strange look, "Your schedule, sir."  "Ah yes, what do we have here today?" He began to glance over the list of meetings, he saw the letters, but he did not really read them, "Nothing particularly important, I'm guessing." Jaehee sighed, apparently disagreeing with him, "Mr. Han, can I ask you something?" 

Jumin straightened in his chair and looked at her in anticipation. He nodded.  "Are you sure it's a good idea for Y/N to stay with you?" Jumin frowned, "What do you expect me to do, Assistant Kang? That I will throw her out on the street? Y/N expressed her obvious anxiousness regarding her returning to her apartment. " 

"She could... Maybe she should stay with someone else during this time?"

"With whom? With Zen or Seven? Then it would not be a problem for you?"

"I think she should rather move to me, it would be more appropriate. Sir, I'm sure you understand what I mean."

Jumin felt like a rage growing in him. He breathed in and massaged his temple, "You really think so low of me, Assistant Kang?" "No, but the media-"

"Yes, I know, the gossips. Gossips have always been spread and will always be. I don't care much about it. "

"It can very badly affect your image and-"

"I don't care!"

Assistant Kang jumped in place, her eyes wide open. Jumin looked at her frozen for a moment. It was the first time he raised his voice at her. He should not have done it. He never wanted to be such a boss. He took a deep breath, "My apology, Assistant Kang, I should not have raised my voice. It was very unprofessional." Jeahee breathed a sigh, but there was an expression of worry on her face, "Mr. Han, are you sure you're all right?" "Yes, I’m all right," He declared though he did not feel right. He was furious. Recently, he was furious all the time. At Yuwoon, for the fact that he simply existed and dared to ever touch Y/N. At Zen, for his silly insinuations. And now at Jaehee, for her wanting to separate him from Y/N. "Cancel my evening meetings, I promised Y/N that I would go with her for her things to that damn apartment."

Your POV 

Jumin's apartment was wonderful and you could go out from it to the gardens on the top floor, but in spite of that you finally got bored. And that was dangerous now, because when you were not busy with anything, unwanted memories were returning to your head.

You wanted to get out of the apartment to go around the building. Maybe you would go shopping, visit a cafe and do some research before returning to your studies. Whatever so that you do not had to think about what happened. But when you opened the door, the security guard blocked your path, "I'm sorry, miss, but Mr. Han clearly told me that you can't leave this apartment." 

You looked at him in shock, "What?" 

The bodyguard, Yoon, the one who carried you on his hands two days ago, cleared his throat, "I can’t let you out, miss." "It must be a misunderstanding..."  "I'm sorry, miss," He really looked like he was sorry. Suddenly, however, he put his hand to the device he had on his ear, "Yes, sir. Yes, immediately. Ms. Y/N, I must escort you to the car, Mr. Han is waiting for you there." "Oh, so now I can suddenly leave?" You snorted.  "Only at Mr. Han's request and in my company." You let the bodyguard lead you to the car, though you did not like what was happening. When you got into the back of the limousine, Jumin greeted you with a smile, "How was your day, Y/N?" You looked at him angrily, "You locked me in your apartment?" 

The expression on his face hardened. The coldness of his eyes scared you a bit, "We'll talk about it later. Now you should try to calm down before we go to your apartment." You only nodded and you said nothing more. You've spent the course to your apartment in complete silence. When you got there, Jumin looked around unpleased. 

"This neighborhood does not look safe, you should move out much earlier." 

"The apartment we rent with Yuwoon is cheap, so..." 

"It's good that you do not have to stay here anymore." You hoped that you would not find anyone at home. You had your keys, so you could get inside easily. However, it turned out that the door was open. Security guards were waiting on the stairs, as Jumin requested, telling them that he'd manage the situation alone. You caught your breath before pushing the door and went inside.  "Who's there?" Yuwoon walked out of the room into the corridor, and when he saw you, he immediately rushed toward you, "Y/N!"  You backed away, and Yuwoon stopped abruptly, turned pale and looked over you. You felt that Jumin stands right behind you and keeps his hand on your shoulder. You tried to get a cold expression on your face, "We're just here for my stuff."  "Honey, who is this?" You heard the woman's voice that you already knew and dinner went up to your throat. A blonde appeared from the room - yes, the one Yuwoon had fucked before your eyes. "Oh my God!" She shouted suddenly. "It's Jumin Han! You didn’t say that that bitch of yours knows Jumin Han!"  While you could not get the word out, Jumin tightened his fingers on your shoulder harder and said coldly, "I strongly advise you not to say about Y/N in this way." You did not know what facial expression Jumin now owned, but the blonde had to be scared because she took a step back. 

"Shut up!" Yuwoon growled at her. "Go to the goddamn bedroom where you belong!" Did he really just say that? You were dizzy. You did not know this side of him. You did not know him at all! You felt that the world is spinning and you're going to collapse, but strong arms caught you before it happened. "Y/N...?" You heard Jumin's worried voice, and then the steps - Yuwoon's probably, "Don't you dare come near her." Now Jumin was furious.  "Mr. Han!" It must have been one of the security guards who were alarmed by the screams.  "Don't interfere. I'll deal with this. Y/N...?" "I... I'm better now... I felt a little dizzy... but it's okay now," You tried to straighten up, in which Jumin helped you with. The blonde was not around, she had to hide in the bedroom. "Are you sure?" Jumin asked, still worried. You nodded and headed to the bedroom, and Jumin and the bodyguards after you. The blonde sat down in the corner, terrified. When you were packing your belongings into a bag you pulled out of the closet, Jumin simply stood silently and watched the situation. Yuwoon paced furiously around the apartment. All this packing took you more time than you would like. You gave the bag to the bodyguard and without a word, everyone headed for the exit. 

"Wait!" Yuwoon called. 

You stopped. The bodyguards were already in the stairwell. You and Jumin still in the apartment corridor. You turned to face your ex-boyfriend. "What do you want?"

"You don’t have to move out, we can still fix it, I'll leave this whore, I love you, not her!" 

You couldn't help but laugh icily, "Are you fucking kidding me? I don't even want to look at you, just leave me alone." After these words, you hurried to the exit, passing Jumin by.  "You stupid bitch, come back here!" Yuwoon shouted and rushed after you.

Then you heard a loud thud. You jumped and turned around to see what happened. Jumin rested his hand on the wall - his arm was blocking Yuwoon's way.

"Are you by any chance deaf?" 

"W-what?" Yuwoon gulped, trembling.

"Didn't the lady said she want you to leave her alone?"

"I..."

"Also, let me remind you, if you'd try to contact her again, there will be consequences."

Yuwoon only nodded his head and Jumin turned to you and put his arm around you, leading you out of the apartment. When you were already in the limousine, you were sitting stiffly in place. You've never seen Jumin like this before. If Yuwoon wouldn’t give up in time, it would most likely end up in a fight. 

"Y/N?" Jumin's voice took you out of your deep thoughts. 

"How are you feeling? Is everything alright?" 

"Yes. I'm fine... I think." "Did I scare you?"

"No, I was just a little surprised, the whole situation was a nightmare, thank you for accompanying me."

There was silence in Jumin's apartment when you unpacked your things. Then in a similar silence, you ate dinner. 

"Jumin..." You dared finnaly when you were drinking wine together. "Why did you shut me down here like in a prison?" 

Jumin sighed, his eyes closed, "It wasn't meant to be a prison... I just... I was afraid that you would change your mind and go away, that it would come to your mind to get back to that man."

"Why would I want to come back to him? That's ridiculous, Jumin. Besides, we've made a deal, don't you trust me?" 

"I trusted V and Rika... They both turned out to be different than I thought." 

"I trusted Yuwoon and it turned out that I didn't really know him at all, we are on the same boat, Jumin, if others let us down, let's try to show ourselves that it doesn't always have to be that way."

"You’re saying the sweetest things, Y/N."

"I want you to feel better with yourself, but closing me down here is not a good way."

Jumin put down his glass of wine and pressed his hand to his closed eyes, "I know you're right, it's extremely difficult for me, I know it’s all happening so quickly, but once you're within my reach, I cannot imagine letting you out of my grasp."

You inhaled deeply into your lungs, took a sip of wine and decided to play open cards. You were not stupid. You saw what was happening, though perhaps Jumin himself did not understand it yet, "Jumin... Do you have feelings for me?"

He looked up at you slowly. For a moment he only opened his mouth, as if he could not get a word out of himself, but finally, he began to talk, "I can’t call it in one word, but... You're definitely special to me, I've never met someone as warm and gentle as you. All the threads that have strangled me so far, when you're close... they are tearing apart. It's extraordinary... I feel happy with you, and at the same time terrified... "

"Terrified?" You asked, sad.

"That you will leave me..."

You felt agitated, touched, "Oh, Jumin... I will never leave you, I promise, it's too soon for me to... determine my feelings for you, but you will never lose me, certainly not as a friend."

"I'm not sure if... friendship alone is enough for me," He declared and pierced you with an intense stare. You felt the chills flow down your neck, you blushed.

"I do not want to promise you anything, Jumin, but for starters... You have to understand that you can't keep me here like a cat. Closed. That's not how a healthy relationship should look. You have to trust me."

"I'll try, give me a chance, I'm constantly learning how to reconcile trust and anxiety about you." ***

When you finished your supper, you took a shower, changed into your pajamas and sat comfortably on the bed. You logged in to the chat room.

[Y/N has entered the chat room]

You: What a nightmare...

Zen: What happened, baby? T-T

You: I went for my belongings to the apartment that I rented with Yuwoon.

Zen: Oh... It must have been awkward.

You: Yes, all the more that girl was there...

Zen: The one with whom he..?

You: Yeah...

Zen: I'm so sorry, baby

Zen:

You: Yuwoon turned out to be someone completely strange to me. He showed that side of himself that I had not known before.

Zen: I don't want you to take my words the wrong way, but ...

Zen: Maybe it's a good thing that you two broke up...

Zen: Looks like he was not worthy of you anyway.

Zen: And when your broken heart is healed

Zen: You will definitely find someone who will make you happy

Zen: 

[Jumin Han has entered the chat room]

Jumin Han: Are you suggesting yourself, Zen?

Zen: 

Zen: chill out, I'm not suggesting anyone

Zen: anyway, dude, what's your problem?

Jumin Han: You can interpret it as me not liking it.

Zen: not liking what? ;;;

Jumin Han: you talking to her that way.

Zen: If you don't like it, just say it.

Jumin Han: I don't like it.

Zen: …

You: Jumin, you're cute when you're jealous ^^

You: But there is no need.

Zen: 

Zen: WAIT, what is happening between you two?

Jumin Han: jealous?

Jumin Han: So that's what I feel... Interesting.

Jumin Han: oh, Elizabeth the 3rd is meowing loudly at the door.

Jumin Han: I think she's longing for your company, Y/N

You: cuuute <3

You: Should I go to her?

Jumin Han: Yes, I think she'll be pleased if you take her to your bed.

You: Okay ^^ I'll be there in a minute~

Zen: NO!

Zen: STOP!

Zen: Do not go to him!

Zen: It's an obvious trap!

Zen: This jerk wants to lure you!

Zen: You go straight into the lion's den!

[Jumin Han has left the chat room]

Zen:

Zen: NOOO

You: You're overreacting as always, Zen ^^

[Y/N has left the chat room]

You left the phone on the bed and went to the guest room. Your heart was beating hard. What exactly were you doing? You shouldn't... You knew that Jumin felt something for you. But you were not even sure of your own feelings yet... You shouldn't!

But there you were, knocking on the door, "May I come in?"

"Yes, of course," Was his voice trembling?

You pushed the door and Elizabeth ran out of the room. She ignored you. Apparently, she just wanted to leave, not necessarily because she wants to spend time with you. You stepped into the room, mouth tight with nerves. The light of the lamp illuminated the surroundings. Jumin slowly got out of bed and stopped in front of you.

You laughed nervously and put a strand of hair behind your ear, "I think she's got enough of me."

"It's impossible," He replied and took a step closer to you. "No one could ever have enough of you."

Timidly you looked into his gray eyes, "Jumin..."

"Y/N, may I kiss you?"

Taken aback by his words, you opened your eyes wide.

"I know it's sudden. I know you're still healing after Yuwoon. But I wanted to kiss you even then in the rain when you stood in front of me so vulnerable and wounded. I don't know if I wouldn't do it if it weren't for bodyguards."

You did not know what to say, your heart was pounding wildly, Jumin was even closer to you now and gently took your face in his hands, "I really didn’t like how Zen talked to you."

You looked at his lips, then at his eyes. You wanted this kiss.

"May I...?" He repeated.

"Yes..." You barely finished talking when his mouth was next to yours, your breathing became one. Then you felt his lips on yours and it was like an impulse.

You clung to each other suddenly, Jumin embraced you on the waist, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. His kiss was greedy, he took your breath away.

"I want you..." He panted between the next, more and more roughly kisses. "I want all of you…"

"J-Jumin..." You tried to answer something but he immediately shut your mouth with his own. You whined, clenched your hands on his shoulders. You were so dizzy... It was too much emotion for one day!

Jumin reached down to your thigh, and you instinctively put it on his hip. He growled and pressed your hips to his. When did this kiss turn into something like that?

"Jumin... That's too fast..." You tried to reason with him, although you did not want him to stop. You kissed once again, hard, and Jumin slowly withdrew his head.

"I'm... I'm sorry..." He breathed, his voice hoarse. "I... I got carried away."

He slowly let go of your leg and waist, and you were still resting your hands on his chest for a moment. You both were breathing loudly and you were sure your face is as red as a tomato.

"I... I should..." You started, not looking at him.

"Yes," He said, interrupting you. "You should go to bed. I'm barely controlling myself right now."

"Good night, Jumin..." You whispered and turned quickly at your heel. You left the guest room quickly, unintentionally slamming the door behind you. You almost ran to the bed and fell on it, then put your head into the pillow and closed your eyes.

You were sure of only one thing. You will not get any sleep tonight.

[lightlorn]

ABC- For Everyone

late festivities. ll accepting.

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

Aerith: See, Aerith is a bit odd. She’s ultimately a good person, and a fantastic friend, but she’s very out of practice in letting others in and demonstrating her feelings. Part of this is her backstory, part of this is just the hard knock life she’s led. For the most part in canon, her affection is a little mischievous, a little chaotic, being the one that goes along with your wild ideas and giving her all to your aims. But it’s also thought, letters written and wishes made, the same care and attention she would give her garden. Aerith is not a woman that shows her affections easily, but is no less devoted once you get around her rougher edges.

Albel: He doesn’t. For the last nine years, Albel has not had a speck of affection in him for anything, living or dead or self. Even his once close bond to his deceased father has soured in his heart to a further reflection of his failures. Tenderness or adoration are beyond him. That said... I think he would display it in respect, or in curiosity. For a wicked man such as himself, simply taking the time to listen to another’s opinion or invest himself in their affairs is a great show of trust. I also think he would, over time, get more physical without getting violent, like a child just learning how to navigate the world. There is something simultaneously mature and overall boyish about this, which is why he does not let such sentiments rise to the surface.

Angela: She’s a healer, so it falls on her to want to take care of those she feels strongly for. Besides this, Angela is a taciturn woman, and I think she uses her words to great effect if someone can coax them from her. Whether she’s singing praises or taking someone to task, her voice will be used to demonstrate just what someone means to her. There’s also the possibility she will geek out about her hobbies and interests with someone who has won her affections, all too eager to get them up to speed so they can keep up with her interests. The act is repaid in kind, as she looks into her loved one’s interests and gains at least a rudimentary understanding of how it works or what it’s about. Catch her with lots of useless video game trivia to keep up with Hana, for example, or basic knowledge of bike maintenance for Mako.

Aria: A more in-depth answer can be found here.

Aqua: Oh my God Aqua is such a giver. It’s in her nature to mother others, to show her affection in gifts and in tender care for them. She’s all handmade gifts and homecooked food, deep concern tempered with constant support, the peak of team mom. While this is sometimes tempered by her self-righteousness, such as her worry for others manifesting as nagging, her heart is as ever in the right place. Her affections are also very self sacrificing, as she will take the fall for her loved ones without fail and try to take their burdens on as her own. At her best, her love is a gentle and homely thing, and at worst she will let it take everything she has so long as the object of her affection is alright.

Braska: Actions. Above all else, Braska is a man who acts. While his tongue is silvery and his heart too big for his own good, he is more of a doer than a talker. This is a man who turned his back on the church and his own lifelong training for the love of a foreign woman, and who later decided to lay down his own life to try and spare his daughter some pain. He spares Auron, in my telling, by leaving him behind out of love, though it does nothing to spare Auron in the long run. Even his taking a chance on Jecht is a leap of faith that pays off in the long run, and shows the depth of their bond. Even if he ought to think things out a little more thoroughly, he puts his money where his mouth is every time he feels strongly for someone.

Eraqus: Stern as he is, Eraqus has always shown his affection recklessly and sometimes in a very troublesome way. He is always willing to forgive and grant second chances, whether romantically as seen with Xehanort or as a matter of familial affinity, as seen with Terra. He puts care into everything he does for those who have won his loyalty, and works to show it in his own ways -- the time he offers others, and the encouragement he shows them. As a younger man, I think he was far more open about his affection, and more physical about it as well. He was less judgmental then, too, and as part of his adulthood affection he is at least willing to hear out those who disagree with him rather than shutting them down completely.

Gwynevere: Honesty and physical affection are the cornerstones of Gwynevere’s genuine affections. She puts forth the face of the all loving goddess, but her real love is shown in simply being herself around another person. She won’t beat around the bush or try to trick others, only show them how she really feels for them and those around them. She is also liberal with physical affection, anything from a touch of the hand to an embrace, and for lovers there is an ever-present sensual element from a woman who must always be above such things in the public eye.

Inessa: Inessa is actions and giving, to be honest. She shows affection for her community by being an ever present sentinel in Lowtown, ready to help as she is needed or sees need. Diligence is what makes affection in her eyes, the time and effort put into others sure to be repaid even if she does not work for that reason. Faithful as she is, she puts goodwill and prayers without actual attempts to see your desires made reality in low regard, something that has led to a lot of her friction with the Chantry of late.

Invi: Reserved as she is, Invi’s presence alone is one way she shows her affections. If she likes you, she will tolerate being around you for longer than is strictly necessary, and without any ulterior motives to boot. Being observant, she might also ensure little tokens or treats are left where the person she cares for can access them, never owning up to these things but responsible all the same. There’s also the chance she invite someone into her personal space or day and that is when you know you have made it with her.

Isa: This is actually very hard to answer because in canon, we see his affection as a child manifesting in ‘I am going to roast you alive but also I will go along with your dumbass idea because I love you’ and as a Nobody in displays of great possessiveness and rage. His actions towards Lea/Axel have always been a little antagonistic, but to what degree varies between his state of being. I think he might be the kind of person who shows his affinity in time spent together and being easily compelled into whatever the other person wants. Given my take on his backstory, I think he’s emotionally stunted even putting aside his inhuman rage issues, and so he’s not entirely sure what to do to show how he feels about others on any positive level.

Kokoro: Local Blue Blood Lets Down Her Defenses In Show of Trust, Lets Herself Be Human and Make Mistakes. But seriously, Kokoro is a person who is all about appearances and keeping up a front, so her affection comes more in letting others see her be more down to earth and laid back. I have said before that she shows her love in being able to admit she doesn’t know something, but it’s also in admitting she’s wrong or made some mistake. The sins of the father have definitely influenced her to channel her affections in a more healthy way, and acknowledge those moments where she lets the people she cares for down.

Roxas: Ice cream and fighting a cult. No literally. The boy is a trained child soldier whose only brushes with softness involve eating sweet snacks with other child soldiers, former or otherwise. This is what he was taught friendship is. He’s got to figure out for himself the shape his affection takes when he’s not fighting a war.

Shizuka: Flashing cash and offered favors. Shizuka’s got shaky identity and self-worth ideals, so they fall back on using their resources to reward those who get close to them sincerely. Some who are very close to them get more genuine shows of affection, the ability to hold them or be held, and heart to heart conversations, but for the most part Shizuka is the kind to pull strings rather than get into any ‘sappy shit.’

Zevran: I swear I am not shitposting, flanderizing, or making fun of him, but how doesn’t Zevran show affection? Realistically, though, he’s very protective with those he cares for, and tends to let them in a little deeper to see the mess he is under the ladykiller facade. He can be something of a good person for them, and that’s the most he can give. He’s still a little too broken to fully form an idea of how to show affection that isn’t saccharine or bombastic.

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Aerith: She absolutely adores flowers. Her people are tied to the planet itself, and the ebb and flow of life is shown so beautifully in flowers. She tends to some both as a hobby and to make some money, and so she’s very attached to them. She adores lilies best of all.

Albel: Once given a flower by a female peer of his fathers, immediately bit it off of the stem. He’s from a harsh winter environment backed up against desolate flatland and mountain ranges, so he is unused to them in any capacity. Still mesmerized by the red spider lily. 

Angela: They’re alright, but not really a priority. She’s so used to hospital flowers that the appeal is kind of lost, though she might still hang a few cheaper bouquets on her desk to try and spruce the area up. Show her a proper Alpine bellflower and you might get a nostalgic smile out of her.

Aria: Like might not be the right word, but Aria is certainly aware of various herbs and flowers from the Koccari Wilds to the edge of the Free Marches. She appreciates them as tools, but is not much of an aesthetic admirer. Is fascinated by the vandal aria for which she was named.

Aqua: The land varieties are just fine, but her love for flowers lies in the watery blossoms. She studied them extensively as a child and knows basically everything there is to know about them. Unsurprisingly, she loves the lotuses that grow on the Land of Departure.

Braska: He was never much of a man to stop and smell the roses before his Pilgrimage, so he often overlooked flowers. He’s not very well educated on the different types, but they’re pretty enough.

Eraqus: Coming from a world that was a winter wonderland, Eraqus is absolutely enamored with flowers. His master’s daughter had a balcony garden that was his favorite place to go and decompress after a long day. He is fond of morning glories above all.

Gwynevere: The princess oversees the maintenance of Anor Londo’s vast garden during its glory days. She is a friend to every flower she meets and knows how to care for any variety. Scandalously, her heart belongs to the moonflower for deeply personal reasons.

Inessa: Good flowers are hard to come by Kirkwall, at least for women of her station. The most she has seen of them has come through her work as an apothecary. For this reason, she has decided the marigold is her favorite.

Invi: As the local font of mystical and magical wisdom, Invi is well acquainted with many different plants. The language of flowers is one in which she is fluent, though it has little bearing in her choice of favorite. It’s the water hyacinth, for those interested.

Isa: The man is a Radiant Garden native. There is no conceivable way he escaped being a fan of flowers. Of the many species found on his homeworld, he just had to be enchanted by a dangerous one -- wolf’s bane. 

Kokoro: Her mother is aforementioned master’s daughter from Eraqus’ answer. She could never have escaped being educated and invested in flowers. Of the many that her mother grew in her garden, Kokoro gained an affinity for foxglove.

Roxas: He doesn’t know a lot about flowers, admittedly. There wasn’t a lot of time to stop and smell them during his missions, and Marluxia was unbearable even on his best behavior. He feels drawn towards the forget-me-not for reasons he cannot immediately pinpoint.

Zevran: If a poison can be made from it or a message conveyed with it, Zevran is aware of it. He’s learning how to appreciate flowers for just being flowers the longer he’s a free agent. And he’s a cliche who just adores a red rose.

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

Aerith: It’s ok, but a little out of her budget. Whatever is cheapest gets her vote.

Albel: First had chocolate on the Diplo. It churned his stomach. Disgusting.

Angela: Yes, but only a rich European style or she’s not touching it.

Aria: Humans are out of their gods damned minds thinking this tastes good.

Aqua: As a connoisseur of desserts, absolutely. Loves a good white chocolate.

Braska: Has never heard of chocolate in his life.

Eraqus: Patron saint of sweet teeth. Milk chocolate or don’t talk to him.

Gwynevere: It’s human food and she’s not a plebeian. 

Inessa: Had some once as a child. It’s now way out of her budget but she dreams.

Invi: More fond of chocolate products. Loves hot chocolate.

Isa: His body is a temple and only cheat days permit a chocolate/nuts candy bar.

Kokoro: Eh. Not a huge sweets person, but a rich chocolate cake has her number.

Roxas: If it’s not sea salt ice cream don’t fuckin talk to him.

Zevran: Thinks Aria is fucking crazy and any chocolate is good chocolate.

[calliecat93]

Top 5 Things I Liked About RWBY Volume 1

(Top 5 Dislikes)

Well, got the Dislikes out of the way. So let's move on to the Likes! While V1 is my least favorite volume, I still adore it. I mean it is the volume that got me and many others into RWBY and without we, well... we obviously wouldn’t have a show. I can forgive many of the issues that I listed, as well as things like limited animation and amateur voice acting since it was V1 when they had a smaller budget and were figuring stuff out. ANd there were still plenty of things to love, especially now.

So let take a trip down memory lane and look back at some of the best parts of the beginning of our journey with RWBY Volume 1~!

#5. The Character Trailers

Okay, this might be cheating since they’re technically not part of the volume. But they were made to lead-up to it like the later trailers were for later volumes and they have story relevance later, so I’m counting it! Plus I want to talk about them somewhere because I freakin’ love these so much~!

These trailers are what got me into RWBY. I remember looking up stuff about the show when I started getting interested in it back in late 2013, and I went to watch them when I found out about them. Making these was a very smart move. They introduce us to our characters early on, gave us a feel of each aspect of the show, and of course created hype to ensure that people tuned in when the actual show started. The Red Trailer shows off the amazing fighting animaiton, White shows off the epic soundtrack, Black introduces plot elements and shows that there will be more than just cool fighting, and Yellow brings 'em all together in one badass package. When I binged through all four of these, I became a fan very quickly. I started the show that night, finished the next afternoon as V1 had practically ended just before I started, and I haven’t looked back ever since. And when parts of them came back into the plot later like the bar that Yang trashed in V2? That made me even happier cause it made them have a point outside of just hype.

The trailers were all fantastic. RT was clearly betting a lot on this show to allow Monty to do these, and the gamble paid off. All four of them have their own unique style and aesthetic and still looks amazing even now. It’s why whenever I see anyone ask where to start with RWBY, I tell them to watch these first. They do a great job of introducing you to this world, and with us going into the seventh volume, their impact is still being felt. I couldn’t not put these on here, but since they aren’t technically part of the volume, I left it at Number 5. But still, these are great and if you skipped them, go and watch them. Now. The list will still be here when you get back.

#4. Fight Animation

...what? Are we surprised that this is on here? Monty’s fight animation is amazing. Even years later, they still hold up. Monty got his start at RTwuth his fight animaiton in RvB, which truly brought that series to the next level. Then he got his won show with even more freedom to go crazy, and boy did he deliver. Sure it didn’t always work well, like when he did it for Penny in the finale and gave away the reveal s a result. But it’ still a badass sequence. All fo the major fights are. The trailer fights, Ruby in Chapter 1, the Nevermore fight in 8, everything else in between and after, it all looked incredible. They were fast, creative, and just so much funt o watch. while I am one fo the people who strongly disagree that the fights went downhill after V3, Monty’s style cannot be duplicated. Nor should it be. We may never have Monty’s fights again, but they will forever live on. That’s honestly for the best.

#3. Weiss Development/Rewatch Value

I was a little harsh on Weiss in the Dislikes post, so let's fix that! I love Weiss. She is my second favorite character and one of the best developed. While I complained about her writing int he finale, outside that? She was good. She was snooty and bitchy, but we saw in Chapter 8 that she is aware of her flaws and did save Ruby as well as give her a pep talk... kinda. But The Badge and the Burden is where she really shines. She’s mad about being led by a childish girl who pretty much got allowed into Beacon, Port gave her a stern but encouraging talking to, and Weiss began to try and improve herself as both a teammate and as a person. It’s simple, but for Volume 1, it was nice and made her likable after how mean she was in the first half of the volume.

Then the rest of the series happened, and Weiss in V1 becomes even better.

It makes Weiss’ attitude make sense. She had to work and fight to earn her way into Beacon. Her father outright forced her to fight a Grimm Knight to earn the right to leave and almost lost an eye due to it. Then she meets this careless girl who rushes into fights, gets in her way, and as far as she knows did nothing to get into Beacon while she had to fight tooth and nail. Then the same girl got to be leader despite generally goofing off and not taking anything seriously, and it makes Weiss being angry 100% understandable. She still acted poorly, hence why Port’s talk was necessary, but it isn’t Weiss just being a stereotypical mean rich girl. She has reasons why she acts the way that she does, and she can recognize those flaws and work to fix it. Even with my complaint about her in the finale she DOES follow it up and improve her attitude towards Blake, Faunus, and her team.

Weiss is a fantastic character. V1 gives you many reasons to dislike her, but over time you grow to love her. This volume was the first step in her breaking out of the toxic and hateful environment and mindset that she was raised in, and she took that step in spades. Rewatching her in this volume makes you appreciate her character so much. Again, her development here is simple, but important and overall solid outside of a few spots. I think that Weiss’ arc has the most rewatch value in this volume, and I appreciate it so much. It is a little spotty though, so I put it at Number 3. But we have another good character arc to talk about, one that I think is underrated to be honest.

#2. Ruby Development

Ruby is my favorite character in the entire series. She was since I started the show, and she still is to this day. Many call her a flat and boring character, and it annoys me. But I do see the complaint that up until recently, she hasn't developed. That she is the exact same as when she started. Ugh... yeah, no. I know that V1 was a while ago and that a lot has happened since then, but she developed greatly in this volume and beyond.

In V1, Ruby is just a girl who dreams of being a Huntress. But it’s kinda like a childish fantasy. One that she’s genuine about, but one that she isn’t truly prepared for. She thinks that all she needs is her badass scythe, and she’ll be fine. She’s reckless, charging into battle to prove that she is capable fo being at Beacon. SHe’s awkward and doesn't want to make friends or teammates. Not because she’s anti-social, but because she’s an awkward girl who is already feeling pressure due to not wanting to be received as special when she got let into Beacon early.

This volume greatly sets Ruby on the right path. Her recklessness gets her into trouble, and she only survives because of characters like Weiss helping. She isn’t able to truly take on Grimm until she starts working as a team with the others, in which she stands up and takes the reigns. She starts channeling her recklessness into crazy plans, like the slingshot, which shows her out-of-the-box thinking that becomes a major asset to her. The Badge and the Burden shows her acting childish, goofing off in class and not paying attention. But we also see that she’s anxious in her new role as leader and if she truly belongs in Beacon or if Ozpin made a mistake in letting her in. But Oz gives her a nice pep talk and we later see that she fell asleep while studying, showing that she is trying to put effort into her studies and into her new position. Encouragement that she later gives Jaune, showing that she took ti to heart.

As with Weiss, it’s simple stuff. But it’s still major progression for Ruby. While her goal of Huntress is still somewhat of s childish fantasy, it’s genuine. She is genuine about wanting to help people and make their lives better just because she wants to. Not out fo any personal goal or thrill, just because she wants to do good. We see that she’s learning as she tarts to put her anxiety aside to work with her teammates, learn to take school seriously, learn to not be so reckless and not be so worried about proving that she can do this, and of course begin to take her first steps in becoming a leader. Steps that will lead to great things for her, especially in V6. I can’t properly gush about Ruby in this post, but I love her growth here so much, and it’s one of the best things in the volume for me.

#1. Players and Pieces

So... you’re probably wondering why this is Number One. Well... it’s because while the trailers got me to watch RWBYm this was the episode that convinced me that it was worth something. I enjoyed Chapters 1-7, but I was kinda waiting for that moment that made me see why it had gotten so popular so quickly. I didn’t watch RWBY when it started I hadn’t even heard of Rooster Teeth at that point. I just saw my friends talking about it, got curious, and started watching it. It was nice... but it didn’t really impress me or get why people were loving this so much. It just felt like a slightly above average web series.

Then I got to Players and Pieces.

This episode wowed me when I watched it. You know how I said that the trailers introduced certain aspects and yellow brought them all together? Well, this chapter did that for something within the show. Awesome fight animaiton? Check. Weiss development? Check. Ruby development? Check. It had good humor. It was paced well. It felt satisfying. And the soundtrack? Holy crap the soundtrack. Yeah, I had to force myself to not put ‘Jeff Williams Music’ on this list because it would be redundant, and putting it on every list would get old. But the moment that Red Like Roses Part II kicked in, everything ramped up. Especially when Ruby slayed the Nevermore. That scene is outright iconic.

This chapter took everything that the first seven was building up to and it delivered an amazing payoff. The characters were great. The animaiton was great. The tone was great. It was funny, heartwarming, and badass in every single way. This was when I realized just how amazing this show was going to be. This is when I decided to hop on board the hype train. This was when I became a real fan, and I am still going even six years later. It’ crazy to me that we’re going into V7, cause whenever I rewatch the moment where Ruby is launched at the nevermore and urns up that cliff, I remember when I first saw the scene. And I still feel the same awe that I felt the first time. When I need to remember why I love this show, I turn to this. It was amazing then, and it’s still amazing now and will always be something that I treasure.

And that’s a wrap! My Top 5 Things for RWBY Volume 1~ It was so much fun to go back through this volume. It’s still a fun ride from beginning to end, and will always have a special place among RWBY fans. So now it’s time to prepare the lists for Volume 2~ Thank you all for reading, and I hope you’ll check out the remaining posts for the remaining volumes~!

[psyche-ssi]

hello berry

excuse me goise, daghan kay kog problema doooh i dunno if angay ba jud problemahon, for other peeps they say im ‘overacting’ but from the bottom of my hypothalamus, this is really a problem.

1st, my workplace (actually not a ‘real’ workplace but an internship space) are pretty much not okay..for me, i think? The surroundings are fine but the isolation and the boredom and the mind that is inside the four corners of the office, if i have to descirbe the color..its violet that has a bit of yellow. Im not comfortable, it’s still not properly arranged just like their thoughts and words, I am also unmotivated to go inside, like if I were to choose I would like to back out.. but that is impossible. Though I would really appreciate if they appreciate my time, my efforts, my vibes, my silence, my solemnity, my point of views, my decisions and my being. Because it feels like I am trying to fit in. Also the chosen mate for me, is idunno what to describe.. at first I admit it was all fine, and then there was a moment that it has to go beyond the boundaries.. hello we just met and we are not tha close, periodt. Don’t talk trash about me, talk back behind me, saying things behind me, hello again. I didn’t remember when did I became bad to you, and now you’re acting like a victim here and there.. what is it really your plaaan,? Huh. Because i don’t know how to cope up with yourself and to your allies. That’s the main point here. 2nd problem. My school itself, lately the owner of the university I’ve been going decided to put up some good stuff, by putting all paramedical courses and medicine students into one place, which is the new building of the university.. Here’s the thing, my crushes are all around the corner, Nursing, Radtech and PT. So y is this a problem? I’m becoming more and more conscious as the day become, Im like poker face when we cross fates, the nursing guy, which I noticed since 2015 in our old school is thereeee and I really would want to stick to the rumor that he’s gay, and Im very fine with it since I adore and love gays <3 He is so attractive even when he’s queuing in the cafeteria, I really would notice him. Hehe. Then here’s the PT guy, ughh I really have a thing about bois with glasses and the way their aura is dashing it’s getting my attention.. can u stopp..he’s not single okai thats y it’s a problem, I can’t keep my eyes off him when I meet him in the hallway or in the Cafeteria or in the stairss oh noo this is malala na bayy. Hays why guys are so attractive, labi na pag naka glasses! Which leads us to my third, save the best for the last. This one thinks no one has crush on him, he said it in twitter to which I strongly disagree, every girl or gay that he’ll look or talk or just stand doing nothing makes me or us feel haaaaaay haha kilig? He has that charm that anyone can accept and the presence that unable to resist. He’s also wearing eyeglasses, we had a small talk like he can talk to anyone but ge duol jud sya nako ug ako dayn kay ge kilig,. Buing.. He didn’t call me ‘ate’ which he should have,, ahhaha and last sem in our class,he was sitting behind me and it makes me reallly happy and conscious at the same time, But I decided during semi finals to sit at the very back of the room (since i got an alas card to sit in the 1st row because of my poorest eyesight, nag duol na nuon mig bangko imbis alphabetically arrange ang seats) so i sat in the back, and the entire sesions i was just looking at him,admiring him, and hahaha there was a time when he is so happy because he answers the questions of our teacher.. he wAs so cute,until now ofc. He is alsoo so cool,even when he’s alone or with friends. Alone in the cafet where I didn’t realise he wAs sitting on our front table!! He was wearing an earphone prolly listening music since he’s in the band. He so cool,i wanna hug him and cuddle him like a pup. Lol. And I don’t wannabe like assuming but every time i want to see him,he really pops out and make my heat and soul happy. Bery spontaneous. And when I look at him, no not look at him but glance at him, he will glance to me as well oooohh pilingera na dis ambot ani bay kay ga kiligon jud ko doh piling na kung pilingg.. Uhm, mao ra to sya hihihi sunod napud

[brianjpatterson]

SPOTLIGHT: (”BEING” Part One) Cultivate Your Awareness

If you’re just joining Spotlight, then this is my personal journal of my personal journey as a performer. It’s a kind of way for me to look back on all of my experiences, and lessons I’ve learned, while simultaneously sharing what I’ve learned with you. Disclaimer: The word PERSONAL was utilized twice in the first sentence. Therefore, this is not the gospel or the truth, it’s just me sharing MY experiences in an effort to assist, if possible, in other people’s discovery (end disclaimer). Today, I’m going to skip over the last part (Part 5) of my observation of the Industry’s Corporate Structure, to briefly touch on the ‘BEING’ in “Brian’s B’s” (Being, Behavior, and Business), of my A+B=C method. If you are reading this blog for the first time, here’s a brief over view of my A+B=C method. A stands for the Abstract; It’s your dream and what you desire. C is the Completion or end result to the equation. It’s what you have Concocted. However, B is the thing that doesn’t get much attention, and it is the most vital portion of the equation; It is your Being, your Behavior, and your Business. All the things that YOU actually DO to mix with the A and make the C happen! That is the basic overview of my system. Today, I’m going to focus on Being and I’m going to use a completely true story from November of 2017.

Back in November of 2017, I was living in San Francisco, and had been making my living as a performer in the city for almost then years. It was on November 13, 2017 at approximately 4:10pm that I received a Facebook message on my Fan Page. It was from an actor in the city who I had met once, but from whom I had never seen any work. Her message said this…

“Hi Brian, I've asked you a question before, and you were so generous in your response.  If you have time to answer this one, I would so appreciate it. I'm joining SAG, and have been told that Fi-Core would be better.  Although the folks at the SAG office disagree.  Do you have a personal experience with that?  A casting director I trust suggests Fi-Core, and SAG strongly suggests SAG, not Fi-Core.  I know it's probably a very personal choice, but I follow you and it seems to me like you make good choices about your career.  Do you have a recommendation?  Thank you Brian.”

After reading her message, I couldn’t have been more flattered. I had been on the receiving end of quite a few messages like this at the time, and it made me feel good that I could potentially contribute to people’s success and happiness. In this case, the actor was making a huge decision that could have multiple effects. Every actor’s journey is different and need to make decisions specifically catered toward their career. Unfortunately, I didn’t know very much about her career so I couldn’t make any quick suggestions. So I did what every good objective person does: RESEARCH! First, I looked at her Facebook. I didn’t see ANYTHING acting or performance related at all. Then I looked at youtube; I didn’t see any videos or reels. After that I looked her up on IMDb and the only thing listed were a few credits; a few from over twenty five years ago, and then two which spanned over the last three years. Keep in mind all of these were either stand-in, extra work, or a role with no character name. After that, I completed multiple google searches using different variations of her name, the city, and additional words like theatre, film, actor and actress. Guess what? Nothing. Not only was there little to no marketing on this person, but there was nothing attesting to her competence. In addition, she was asking me a question about her business. Rather than making assumptions, I wanted to gather as much information as possible on this person so that I could give her the best advice I could. Besides, there could be an entire theatrical life of which I’m not privy and about which I don’t know. So, I sent back a bunch of questions to get a bigger picture of here situation. Here is what I sent to her:

“First off, I want to acknowledge your commitment to your career and your interest in doing what is best by seeking out advice from what seem to be good sources for you. You're already on the right path as far as I'm concerned. Second, I would agree with you; It's a very personal choice and would require a lot of detailed information. For instance: Do you plan on staying in SF for a while or are you moving to a larger market like NYC, LA, Canada, or London? If so, do you feel like you're in a place where you have enough experience and credits to hold your own and play with the 'big dogs' (SAG) on equal footing? If so, on what kind of tangible data is this based? Third and last, have you created a clear, detailed, and meticulous plan for your career with a somewhat in depth understanding of the road ahead of you? I am someone who prefers to give advice and make decisions by having more global/big picture info filled with as much data as possible. Therefore, if you can answer those few questions, then I think I can give you advice which is best suited for your particular situation. Brian :) “

Here is the answer with which I was met:

“Thank you, Brian.  I know those answers for myself and think I will be joining SAG, not as Fi-Cor.  I'll be based in California, splitting time between sf and la.  My main quandary is that a casting director who I trust up in sf recommends fi- Cor over SAG, yet SAG gives the opposite recommendation.  I am joining, that's not in question.  Leaning towards sag.  I've had 13 years experience in live theater, commercial and film/tv.  No reason to wait any more.  I know why I'm an actor.  More now than ever before. Thank you again.”

A few minutes later, I got this:

“I’d really like to hear your take on Fi-Cor vs. SAG.  What I'm most concerned about us if I start as Fi-Cor, will I them be able to switch?  The SAG office makes it sound like a very iffy prospect.  I don't know anyone who's tried it.  Think I will just join SAG and if I want to switch later, try it then.”

Her prior messages let me know that she wasn’t coachable, and didn’t really want to hear what I had to say. Regardless of my success or the contribution that I believed I could make to her after having seen some of her tools. So, I ended the conversation as gracefully as I could and sent her this message:

“It sounds to me like you've made up your mind to join. Mucha Buena Suerte!”

As you can see, I didn’t offer any advice or suggestions. It would have been a waste of time and energy. This person was merely asking for permission. Something I also didn’t give, because I could already tell after looking over her tools that I would be COMPLETELY AGAINST joining SAG. As in my previous posts, being an actor is the equivalent of being an employee in the corporate world. The only difference is that you are an independent contractor. In order to be a successful independent contractor that can support his/her self, you have to have mastered many skills and tools in order to stay employed. Some of those would be: interpersonal relations/communications, clear and concise planning and organizing, marketing strategy, and a harnessing of personal talent. Prior to developing these skills, there is one thing that every person will need in order to develop any of those and that is AWARENESS of self.  

Actor and famous acting coach Stella Adler was adamant about her belief that Actors needed to conquer themselves before they conquered a character. I associate this with the ancient martial arts theory of ‘emptying your cup’ that Bruce Lee often taught. It is one of the most important parts of the equations of success. Not just in career, but in every area of life. It is why I believe that it’s the first place to begin when embarking upon a big journey like an acting career. Emptying your cup means getting very clear on who you are inside and out. It’s knowing yourself to a point where you are able to be COMPLETELY objective on every matter. This gives you the ability to step inside a character to the fullest, because you are able to set aside your own perception of reality and everything that could potentially stop you from putting yourself in the shoes of another. For me, I have Wonder Woman. To explain, Doctor William Moulton Marston III who created the character was a psychologist and was a study of the human condition. He imbued many of his characters and inventions with breadcrumb clues to these ideas. He even inspired a system for self awareness that I follow which has aided me tremendously over the last 16 years of my life. I encourage everyone to find their own system which offers them that kind of objective awareness. I write a column called “What Would Wonder Woman Do?”, and in March it was about the “Lack Of Truth in Society”. Truth is something that requires personal awareness. Without it, you can not be completely authentic. As you continue your search toward your own system, here are some ideas on how to begin developing personal awareness, which are derived from my article.

BE AWARE OF YOUR ABILITY TO BE COACHABLE When you aren’t coachable, you often miss out on important information. It could be information that could make 100% difference in your life and/or career. In the example of the actress who asked me for advice, I could see where she wanted to go and if you read some of the questions I asked her, I already had some really fantastic suggestions for her to be successful. Unfortunately, she wasn’t open to hearing them and was completely UN-coachable. Some of her language was a little defensive and put up a wall. This is what happens when you’re triggered, and being coachable means understanding those triggers that hold you back from being coachable. Examining what those triggers are, how they got there, and how to work around them will assist you in becoming coachable. In my article, you’ll see that the Ladder Of Inference explains how personal perception can influence present events.  

BE AWARE OF WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW When we think we know something and assume that we don’t need another perspective that might be different, that will often make us un-coachable. If we come from a place of ‘I already know’ then it immediately shuts off the ability to connect, and also the ability to learn. The opposite will open up the possibility of connection, affinity, and even learning new knowledge. In my situation, the actress that asked me for advice was completely and totally un-coachable even though she came to ME for advice. Being open to what she didn’t know would have given her the ability to gain new knowledge which could have aided her to a more bountiful and successful career. It is important to be able to know the difference between the former and the latter situation. I believe that is to be like Wonder Woman, which is to follow the way of love. When you are being loving you are continually choosing to understand and accept the world around you. I write about this in my article. For me, I like to think of a scientist. He (or she) knows that there are facts and laws in the universe, but they are always testing new things against them for new outcomes and new possibilities. That pure, loving, and inquisitive nature of being open and asking questions will almost always guarantee that you find out things that you didn’t know before. Be your own scientist and like the article says, “Lasso The Truth”!

BE AWARE OF YOUR LIMITATIONS We all have limitations, but very few people are truly aware of what actually creates their limitations. This often leads to people not knowing exactly what their limitations might be. In the case of the female actor who messaged me, she is setting out to work in a market of SAG/AFTRA professionals. This will limit her for many reasons. Without proving to have a strong work history, a strong body of work, a clear concise plan to success, an ability to book (aka adequate practice and developing a system for auditioning) and to do so on the SAG level, she is limiting herself. Specifically, since she is doing so in a primarily non-union market where the SAG work is very limited. In my ‘What Would Wonder Woman Do’ article, about the lack of Truth in Society, I reference a scene written by Phil Jimenez in Wonder Woman #170 where she reveals that she is forced to always be honest with herself due to her having the lasso on her hip. By finding our own ‘magic lasso’ or system to keep ourselves honest we can be more aware of our own limitations. Being honest about them can also lead to more connection and success.

CONCLUSION When you find yourself to not be coachable, are approached by someone who might have some knowledge, or even have a limitation that is being challenged, and you feel resistance; STOP! Take a few breaths and ask yourself, Why am I so resistant? Why do I feel like pushing back on this? What is this reminding me? Then try to replace it with questions. Try to come from a place of innocence and inquisition. Ask questions why what you’re being suggested is a good idea, or even what led to this philosophy. You may actually learn something new that you didn’t know before. Asking these kinds of questions will be easier once you have found your own system of awareness. Some people go to therapy, some go to church, and some have self help gurus. Personally, mine is Wonder Woman and the work influenced by Dr. Marston III. The previous were just a few suggestions on how to begin cultivating your own awareness. Everyone is different and everyone will find their own system. To recap, I have yet to hear from the female actor (actress) who originally sent me her question regarding SAG. I will say this though, it has been nine months now since that question, and after going back to look over her marketing materials, I noticed that there has been absolutely no change. I’ve seen no new videos, clips, or reels added. Her IMDb hasn’t been updated with any new projects, and google still doesn’t show anything about her work in any genre (stage or screen). So whatever she is doing, it’s getting her more of what she had. As for me, I was given a principal contract in a SAG national commercial I shot last week with three celebrities; Two of them have over five million followers and the last has nearly a million followers on Twitter. That being said, I urge you all to find your own system of cultivating your personal awareness to a point where you become more objective, authentic, and inquisitive. It is one of the first steps of the BEING part of ‘Brian’s Bs’ and will assure your success in many areas of life, including career. And if I can do it, then you can definitely do it too! :)