#as it is… I have a stress headache
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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Hey everyone! this is where the zebra is currently with the design.
It has knee braces!! I will most probably be drawing the zebra usually with them on, but it’s no requirement, for example if anyone else wants to draw the zebra :-]. I always like to make sure an animal design has official colors underneath any clothing and accessory anyway. I think this will be final! thank you everyone for your feedback!
As a reminder, aside from why the zebra was requested for this flag, this is also just a zebra with the disability pride flag on it. It’s just a deisgn to fit the flag, with input from other disabled people in our community. It doesn’t mean other animals can’t have designs with these colors, too! I don’t mean this design to be the only mascot for all disabled people. It’s just a silly series i do of pride animals, and at the time, during disability pride month, I wanted to see what everyone wanted me to start off with for this flag!
the goal with my pride animals is to take requests and make people feel happy and seen.. that’s all <:-)
#disability pride#pride animals#disability#disability pride flag#zebras#I’ve been a little stressed about this animal for the past week.. I will be honest with you#The zebra has many stripes and I wanted to try my best to make sure it wouldn’t cause issues like headaches or other things#also.. if]ve been working on this for a while now.. i want to call it done soon!#But now that this is finished#I will start designing stickers and pins to put on redbubble and also for me to print IRL!#thank you everyone! I’ve also learned more than whatbI already knew this week#Even if it was stressful it was fun to see everyone get so excited when I would show updates to the designs#Sorry for a long speech.. I am a very nervous person today#Excuse my typos! I’m a fast typer and tired from the day#ebonytailsart#Thank you yomcloud for giving me your feedback as well. I don’t have a lot of perspective on visual processing disorders and photensitivity#so it meant a lot to me#just like the other pride animals I am very open to making more animal designs for this flag! But I’d like to save it for the future instea#It’s a bit too soon at the moment. thank youuu
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are election results in a country an ocean away a valid reason to call in sick from work. asking for a friend
#have a headache and i genuinely think it's at least in part from stress#joos yaps#doomscrolled too close to the sun
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just think itd be funny if they met irl
#thpff#byakuya togami#happy birthday byakuya btw#dont have time for anything polished so uhhhh old doodle go#thp byakuya: this is what i should be. this is what was taken from me. all it took was one loss and i have become a shell of myself.#canon byakuya: what the hell is your problem#thp byakuya doesnt look exactly like this at the current point in the fic (around chap 20) but! who knows! he might soon :)))))#love taking my fave chars and locking them in a washing machine! love putting them through stress and trauma!!#canon byakuya havng his ghost of christmas present moment. get dickens'd idiot#i will never draw the other eye#thp byakuya isn't eating as much bc of repeat headaches/nausea from his vision hence the weight loss#also has been losing motivation to keep himself looking as cleaned up as he normally i.e: he fucked up shaving so he gave up#is generally a lot more paranoid and untrusting of his surroundings. he just has a lot going on#soooo much fun drawing him fucked up and shaken i think it should happen more often tbh#my arts
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i dont think i have the right to ask this, since i so rarely have the energy to reply, but .. i want my drive to draw art back and this awful depression gone (or at least made less bad..) so desperately that i will bear the shame of asking it anyway, just in the hopes of something getting that spark i had held onto for so long to light back up
though .. im not sure what i want to ask for, i guess .. anything? something you'd like to see me draw, a compliment, a question- whether zelda or oc related, a little totk rant of your own, a picture of your cat, a random fun fact-
#ganondoodles talks#i feel guilty just writing this#i feel like i do so little and ask for so much#too much#and the good ol 'you dont have the right to feel this miserable- theres people literally dying' is back ever so strong#i have barely been looking at anything online#idk why its gotten this bad now of all times#of course this is nothing you are requuired to do#i am not trying to put pressure on anyone#or make anyone feel bad#or responsible for me bad feeling#i just ... want out of this .... and dont seem to be able to do it myself#i am hoping all i need is just a little push to get me over the edge of fighting back again#i know therapy and/or meds would probably be better#but the former is basically impossible to get here- and i got bad experiences with it#and the latter would be a long process of things that cause me so much stress and im afraid it wont make anythign better#.............if our doctor would even be willing to get anything going#maybe this is all just headache sleep depreived wahteever thought sludge#.. im going to bed :U
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PLEASE THESE GAYS THEYRE TRYING TO MURDER ME
#I ACTUALLY CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS#guys this is not a joke#i have a stress headache#why do they hate me#but good for them ig#dan and phil#phan#phil lester#daniel howell#dnp#amazingphil#dan howell
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Sick eepy hugs
#Is this headache stress?#Tiredness?#Me getting sick again?#Or a secret mysterious fourth thing?#Who knows! But at least I have gay men#All is good when I have gay (disaster) men#strangehawk#doctor strange#stephen strange#clint barton#hawkeye#the brainrot is strong in this one
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getting your periods after a bad week is like oh maybe i am not erratic emotinal or insane maybe it was just pms
#i have been so worried and stressed about this whole thing i just need my next 3 weeks to go well & for me to settle nicely & start#braching out. thinking about all of it gives me headache but it's okay ig
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I feel bad like you would not believe
#i feel stressed out and overwhelmed and trapped and liked im missing out on alot but theres nothing i can do and etc etc#im tired i took a nap yesterday so i cant sleep now and i have a headache too and i keep thinking about things that make me feel worse#kae.txt
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THAT ART IS GREAT SHBDJDNDJDND MQF BASICALLY HUNTING SY DOWN FOR THE MOMENT HE'S WEAK ENOUGH TO BE FORCED BACK TO HEALTH 😭😭😭 he could certainly pitch it to lqg as a game: if you can bring me a sy pre faint, I will give u extra supplies I know for a fact ur out of
ohhhh my god.... theyre playing with him.. practically bargaining..
#sy attendant au#this is soooo nice though like hes getting more than one friend im so proud of him#this au is fun bc i remember when i was one of like. 3 people that cared about mushen.#but now mqf can have a stress headache just thinking about shen yuan yaayyyywyayy#svsss#asks
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Maybe I'm not cut out for a PhD maybe i should just start drinking the chemicals with the scariest labels on them, lets end the charade that i have brain cells
#my stuff#i am really struggling this weekend i got such shit results from an experiment#and when i was reading a paper afterwards it described something that looks Awfully Similar to my own work#like not exactly but it achieves the same things#and i texted my mentor abt it and idk if we're just not looking at it the same or what but he responded back 'these are not at all the same#like ok i guess im illiterate. kill me now and save me the embarrassment of struggling on.#i don't like to be despairing but ive had headaches for weeks and my sleep schedule is in ruins from stress#every day i feel more terrified from imposter syndrome and ohhhh my god what if my heart just exploded i wouldn't even notice#i have like 2 weeks to smarten tf up or i feel like im going to get crucified and pissed on by my committee
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if i ever start getting into iwtv discourse on here and stop just making dumb jokes all the time you all have permission to whack me across the nose with a rolled-up newspaper
#even seeing it on twitter without being involved gives me a headache#it's hard for me to ignore it sometimes bc i'm very opinionated#but it just drags down my joy and with all the stress of life i just want to have fun with this show#(although i love some good analysis)
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headache
#sorry for no skilltober art#Logic here - hello#taking over for a bit since we were at a meeting#just started a new job and I wanted to take minutes#have had a bad headache all day though#it's in our right side (not left) but drawing it like this felt like it made more sense#just drew it as stress relief but others wanted to post it so...#de logic#de skills#rev art#revi's furies
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Hey y'all! The merry-go-round of doctors* I am on seems to be cycling back around towards an allergist again, and I have a question for y'all because idk how to word this for doctors: How do you word "if it walks like and allergy and quacks like an allergy it's an allergy" to an allergist? Less flippantly, I have allergy symptoms that multiple doctors have said allergies should not be able to cause. Mainly, my first allergy symptom is high blood pressure**, which if left untreated will progress to migraines, stomach issues, and eventually a bad blood pressure crash***. I have been told allergies do not raise blood pressure, but mine is caused by specific foods most of the time and taking a benadryl stops the reaction, so I have no idea what else it could be? But my main food allergy is acetic acid/vinegar, which I have also had multiple doctors tell me it is not possible to be allergic to
*the "you have a problem but not one I can fix try this kind of specialist instead" mobile **130s/80s, not super high, but high for me ***80s/40s
#the person behind the yarn#medical mention#I do sometimes have allergic reactions caused by acute stress or anger#so that's. fun. pretty sure that's MCAS though#but like idk how to convince doctors it's allergies#I know they might not be IgE mediated allergies but still allergies right? if benadryl fixes them?#most people don't get like two day headaches from eating peas?#I do think coconut might be my one true IgE mediated allergy on account of the immediate wheezing when I eat it#but the rest I fully admit are weird#the last allergist wants me to get a blood test DURING an allergic reaction#but I have learned the magic words about that one!#the magic words are: I tested on the very high end of normal tryptase levels when NOT having an allergic reaction#and my main severe allergic reaction symptom is uncontrollable vomiting. which makes it difficult for me to get that bloodwork done#so far I've only said it to like three doctors and every single one was like yes! fair! understandable!
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So, Agatha All Along episode 7... made me cry like a baby dear gods.
#agatha spoilers#kinda#in the tags#agatha all along#That hit close to home#Like#it's not the same as in real life#But being born with some sort of supernatural sensitivity?#It fucking sucks sometimes#I have a sensitivity to ghosts and energies#I've been told that's being an empath?#IDK#But I've always had a sensitivity to all the energy around me#Not being able to sleep because you know a spirit is watching is... tiring#Not being able to spend time with friends of friends because their energy feels physically toxic feels kinda shitty#Not being able to go into some places because the energy give you a severe headache and makes you physically nauseous is a pain#and it is in no way the same as being an oracle#no way shape or form#But struggling with a “gift” because it makes you seem insane to others and it's stressful for you?#That hits so close to home#RIP lilia calderu#you will be missed#And now I wanna go try that tarot spread#i might delete this later#I don't like talking about my own supernatural experiences on public platforms for various reasons lol#But my partner and friend haven't watched the new episode yet so I've gotta ramble somewhere
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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