#as it is… I have a stress headache
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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Hey everyone! this is where the zebra is currently with the design.
It has knee braces!! I will most probably be drawing the zebra usually with them on, but it’s no requirement, for example if anyone else wants to draw the zebra :-]. I always like to make sure an animal design has official colors underneath any clothing and accessory anyway. I think this will be final! thank you everyone for your feedback!
As a reminder, aside from why the zebra was requested for this flag, this is also just a zebra with the disability pride flag on it. It’s just a deisgn to fit the flag, with input from other disabled people in our community. It doesn’t mean other animals can’t have designs with these colors, too! I don’t mean this design to be the only mascot for all disabled people. It’s just a silly series i do of pride animals, and at the time, during disability pride month, I wanted to see what everyone wanted me to start off with for this flag!
the goal with my pride animals is to take requests and make people feel happy and seen.. that’s all <:-)
#disability pride#pride animals#disability#disability pride flag#zebras#I’ve been a little stressed about this animal for the past week.. I will be honest with you#The zebra has many stripes and I wanted to try my best to make sure it wouldn’t cause issues like headaches or other things#also.. if]ve been working on this for a while now.. i want to call it done soon!#But now that this is finished#I will start designing stickers and pins to put on redbubble and also for me to print IRL!#thank you everyone! I’ve also learned more than whatbI already knew this week#Even if it was stressful it was fun to see everyone get so excited when I would show updates to the designs#Sorry for a long speech.. I am a very nervous person today#Excuse my typos! I’m a fast typer and tired from the day#ebonytailsart#Thank you yomcloud for giving me your feedback as well. I don’t have a lot of perspective on visual processing disorders and photensitivity#so it meant a lot to me#just like the other pride animals I am very open to making more animal designs for this flag! But I’d like to save it for the future instea#It’s a bit too soon at the moment. thank youuu
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Hermes, rushing into the classroom like an over excited puppy that can fly, surprising everyone: Hey, did you get my letter :D it's really important, I gotta take you now
Kaminari: You mean the one you left on my desk while I was out of the classroom less than three minutes ago? Yes, I read it and for the last time, I have SCHOOL
Hermes: That lame thing? Just tell them it's important or whatever!
Kaminari: I can't just ditch school anytime you wanna start a fight or get icecream or whatever!
Hermes: No, it's fine! I'll just talk to your school's king-
Kaminari: Principal.
Hermes: Principal, and tell him you have to leave!
Kaminari: How about you just wait outside the building and I can tell you why this is a horrible idea then, kay?
Hermes: No time! I'm a busy guy, you know that, Denks!
Kaminari: THEN DO YOU'RE OTHER JOBS FIRST!
Hermes: Come on! It's a matter of life or death!
Kamimari: Maybe for me! I have a feeling you're not in any danger and won't be in the near future.
Hermes: Exactly! You could die! All the more reason to come!
Kaminari: No! No, it isn't! The fact that going with you means I might die is absolutely not a good argument!
Hermes: Oh, please, like you don't have buddies down there anyway. Come on, we gotta goooo!! I don't want to be in this boring room any longer!
Kaminari: It is truly bone-chilling that I'M the responsible one around you.
Hermes: I know, right? I hate it, I like you more when you're reckless.
Kaminari: Of course you do, now GO AWAY! Go wait in the dorm's lounge or something. Just don't get me in trouble.
Hermes: Oh, we both know I'm not capable of that.
Aizawa: What the fuck is going on here? And you, get OUT of my classroom!
Hermes: Jeez, touchy much? Fine, I'll wait outside, and you have to deal with this guy every day?
Aizawa and Kaminari: GO!
Hermes: Okay, fine! Geez, way to make a guy feel welcome!
The rest of the class: 👁👄👁
#son of zeus au#hermes#denki kaminari#aizawa shouta#came up with this while i was listeninf to What Did I Miss from Hamilton and i went into a fugue state and wrote this#the only reason its leaving the safety of my drafts is because i know some of my mutes like this au a lot and wpuld probably appreciate any#content for it no matter how weird or bad or tangential#so here#have#oh and also because i just like the visual of hermes running around like a winged puppy sometimes#demigod au#denki is a different person around the gods#its because of the stress#hermes is a HEADACHE lets be real#lots of sighing#this should def be shorter but i dont care bc i dont really expect anyone to see it#apart from iys of course#mha#bnha#pjo au#but not
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are election results in a country an ocean away a valid reason to call in sick from work. asking for a friend
#have a headache and i genuinely think it's at least in part from stress#joos yaps#doomscrolled too close to the sun
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Roshambogames Teammate tierlist 👍
its basically just my incredibly biased personal opinion on who i think ro would work well w in a team. (mapicc gets his own tier bc he is mapicc.)
#lifesteal#roshambogames#and yes i actually have reasoning for every single one of my placements#but i dont feel like writing an extensive post so ill explain some of the interesting ones here#yes the tag monster is back at it again LOL#N E ways! lets start w minute bc i gen think they could never last as teammates. esp w other people in the team as well#minute literally doesnt trust ro to stay loyal to anyone if mapicc exists on the server#its why i think that if ro ever joined the empire it wouldve been the beginning of the end for it bc even on the same team#minutes inherent in distrust in ro's loyalty [to anyone who isnt mapicc] would accelerate the teams inevitable downfall#but like thats only in a world where ro played the server LOL i wanna make a post abt this still bc i think abt it a lot#ANYWAYS next we have flame!! i actually rly think theyd be hella compatible#if ro locked tf in i do actually think he and flame could do some dastardly things to the server#ro is a creative and flame is someone who is incredibly loyal and has the strength to makr their shared ideas a reality#tho i think theyd also balance on the very thin line of “die with me or die by my hands” bc i cant imagine them splitting peacefully#either they end the server together or ro is banned by flame himself. no in between LMFAO#and for the last person ill talk abt hannah bc i feel like he and hannah would actually mesh rly well???#but only if they have other teammates too bc ro is very busy and hannah only rly plays when shes asked to#so they need teammates who play the server to act as the glue for them LOL#but like ya i feel like theyd bounce ideas off each other really well?? like hannah is similar to flame in her loyalty#and ro's willingness to do projects w her would encourage hannah in doing more on the server and having plans of her own#i also think they mesh well personality wise bc ro is silly and hannah needs someone to be silly w bc she gets stressed easily#tho that can easily backfire bc ro's silliness may stress her out More in certain situations so like .#they def need other teammates to balance them out LMFAO#okay im done being the tag monster thank u if u read my tag yapping#i have a headache LOL
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just think itd be funny if they met irl
#thpff#byakuya togami#happy birthday byakuya btw#dont have time for anything polished so uhhhh old doodle go#thp byakuya: this is what i should be. this is what was taken from me. all it took was one loss and i have become a shell of myself.#canon byakuya: what the hell is your problem#thp byakuya doesnt look exactly like this at the current point in the fic (around chap 20) but! who knows! he might soon :)))))#love taking my fave chars and locking them in a washing machine! love putting them through stress and trauma!!#canon byakuya havng his ghost of christmas present moment. get dickens'd idiot#i will never draw the other eye#thp byakuya isn't eating as much bc of repeat headaches/nausea from his vision hence the weight loss#also has been losing motivation to keep himself looking as cleaned up as he normally i.e: he fucked up shaving so he gave up#is generally a lot more paranoid and untrusting of his surroundings. he just has a lot going on#soooo much fun drawing him fucked up and shaken i think it should happen more often tbh#my arts
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as far as I interpreted the color in your hands or brain question, I thought it was based on that thing where artists tend to associate a color with themselves, kinda like an aura? Idk if that's actually a really common thing or not, but at the very least I and several of my friends would vaguely agree with that vibe. so "is that color in your hands or your brain?" is entirely vibes. where do you vibe with your color being? I could be entirely wrong about the entire set up though, maybe it's entirely confusing weirdness instead of a weird vibe check vibe no longer makes sense as a word to me, lol
It probably is a vibes thing. I think I just reflexively went ??????? in my brain and reflexively reblogged with that, but I'm sure the original author of the post is mentally walloping me with a pool noodle because I took something fun too seriously AND made their post break containment.
Sorry..
#chekhov answers#it was just such an alien concept to me that i glitched into reblogging without thinking#the same way those 'where do you feel this emotion' charts are#i have never understood that#the emotions are supposed to be in your mind right?#unless you get so stressed you have a headache#although sometimes when I'm nervous my mouth gets numb#is that what they're asking?????#man i really am overthinking this
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i dont think i have the right to ask this, since i so rarely have the energy to reply, but .. i want my drive to draw art back and this awful depression gone (or at least made less bad..) so desperately that i will bear the shame of asking it anyway, just in the hopes of something getting that spark i had held onto for so long to light back up
though .. im not sure what i want to ask for, i guess .. anything? something you'd like to see me draw, a compliment, a question- whether zelda or oc related, a little totk rant of your own, a picture of your cat, a random fun fact-
#ganondoodles talks#i feel guilty just writing this#i feel like i do so little and ask for so much#too much#and the good ol 'you dont have the right to feel this miserable- theres people literally dying' is back ever so strong#i have barely been looking at anything online#idk why its gotten this bad now of all times#of course this is nothing you are requuired to do#i am not trying to put pressure on anyone#or make anyone feel bad#or responsible for me bad feeling#i just ... want out of this .... and dont seem to be able to do it myself#i am hoping all i need is just a little push to get me over the edge of fighting back again#i know therapy and/or meds would probably be better#but the former is basically impossible to get here- and i got bad experiences with it#and the latter would be a long process of things that cause me so much stress and im afraid it wont make anythign better#.............if our doctor would even be willing to get anything going#maybe this is all just headache sleep depreived wahteever thought sludge#.. im going to bed :U
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PLEASE THESE GAYS THEYRE TRYING TO MURDER ME
#I ACTUALLY CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS#guys this is not a joke#i have a stress headache#why do they hate me#but good for them ig#dan and phil#phan#phil lester#daniel howell#dnp#amazingphil#dan howell
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OH MY GODDESS YOU WONT BELIEVE IT. I DONT BELIEVE IT!!
The mayo clinic called me back and they scheduled me for an appointment!!!
I also managed to get a different appointment I called for today NEXT WEEK! You don’t understand!!! I live in a town of 8k people most apps are out two to three months. It’s a 2 hour appointment and I think I will have some type of results in my bloody aching hand when I go to leave!
(Mayo clinic appointment is in January but fuck as least it’s something!!!)
#chronically ill#e talks#irl sick#pain is always my gain#chronic pain#chronically sick#chronic illness#flabbergasted#can I hold on that long?#disabled#chronic fatigue#i literally have a headache from getting excited.#not like yay excited but omfg maybe someone might help me excited#so much stress#so much worry#today has been a whirlwind
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Sick eepy hugs
#Is this headache stress?#Tiredness?#Me getting sick again?#Or a secret mysterious fourth thing?#Who knows! But at least I have gay men#All is good when I have gay (disaster) men#strangehawk#doctor strange#stephen strange#clint barton#hawkeye#the brainrot is strong in this one
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"Hey Dash want some of my ice cream?"
I'm debating going with this ship for the fic I'm writing
#art#my art#danny phantom#danny fenton#dash baxter#danny x dash#they give off pinning and oblivious#but both are oblivious#at least to me#idk I'm tired and I have a headache and I'm stressed#Enjoy the Danny Phantom art
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More t4t shuake
#p5#traditional art#persona 5#goro akechi#joker persona 5#the image of akc shotgunning akira is essential to this au#also essential is akc SEETHING w rage over akiras chest growth even tho shes been on E for shorter#and finding out that smoking can stunt ur hrt#im rusty and college is kicking my ass#shuake#i forgot lmao#i get stress headaches and then i think about akechi goro until it goes away#i have an exam tomorrow morning <3
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getting your periods after a bad week is like oh maybe i am not erratic emotinal or insane maybe it was just pms
#i have been so worried and stressed about this whole thing i just need my next 3 weeks to go well & for me to settle nicely & start#braching out. thinking about all of it gives me headache but it's okay ig
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what if i just completely threw out 60% of the existing plot concept for the novel i'm already writing the second draft of
#i literally gave myself a stress headache today just thinking about this lmao#writing is hard and i just want to have all the tricky parts figured out for me so i can just do the fun parts lmao#i've been writing at least 400 words a day for the last few weeks but its become increasingly obvious that im muddling around#doing nothing going nowhere because my plot outline doesnt exist and i need to figure out story beats#and now im like. maybe its going nowhere because i have everything arranged for the finale right from the beginning#and maybe i should spend the length of the book having the characters arrange things for the finale themselves#so basically now i'm just. messing everything up? to give my characters something to fix?#im doing this when i COULD be writing some completely different new shiny distracting idea :T
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Responding to your last post about proshippers complaining about other proshippers. You didn't provide this option, but I really think it should depend on the content of the ask... And yes, this is a confession blog for proshippers/profic, etc. aligned people. Telling us to go to antiship confession blogs is horrifically stupid and is only going to put us in dangerous positions.
The proship community is not immune from being shitty. There are proshippers who act just like antis. People who think they can change their race and give themselves disabilities are straight up infecting the community as well. There are proshippers who are horrifically ableist against pwOSDDID, schizospec disorders, etc. There are proshippers who straight up use slurs they can not reclaim. There are proshippers who call people the r slur. I especially think proshippers with these disorders (including myself) should have a safe outlet to talk about the toxicity and abuse within our own community without telling us to basically become an anti. Because what the hell???
Of course, I can't read every single anon that you get, but if they are anything along the lines of what I'm talking about here, consider not deleting them. Especially don't tell people to "just become antis" or "just go to antiship confession blogs." That's harmful as fuck.
If anything, these confessions should serve as a reality check that our community isn't perfect. Or serve to remind people that this behavior shouldn't or won't be tolerated in the proship community. Not every self-proclaimed "proshipper" is actually a proshipper, especially if they act abusive, ableist, or harass people like antis do. I will die on this hill.
If you don't want to house confessions about these topics, that's fine. Just say so, and I'll make my own confessional blog where these topics are allowed.
You’re right that there are plenty of people who are proship and also shitty af. It’s something that I’ve both posted plenty of confessions about and have actually even—in case you haven’t been familiar with my blog for a while—made my own post about! It’s like one of just a few posts that I have made speaking directly from my mouth and not a confession. It’s just a post that I wrote about behavior that I hate seeing pop up far too commonly in this community. I literally can’t count how many people I have blocked, which includes not only antis, but also shitty proshippers and pricks who claim to be them while supporting harm caused to others in real life.
You’re also right that you can’t read every anon that I get. I would have much preferred that you even just ask what kind of thing I’m talking about instead of acting like you’re some secret second mod and I’m just some asshole who refuses to hold anyone or any behavior accountable as long as I agree with them on some level.
I really do wonder what you would think about one of the (many with a similar tone) asks that inspired this post.
Do you know how many anons I get with the same fucking attitude and the same fucking insistence that they’re right and I’m wrong and evil, and yet I’m somehow the perfect mouthpiece for their beliefs? What reality check is this supposed to be giving me? Please either stop assuming that everything I say is in bad faith or genuinely try to explain to me what the good content for my followers is in this ask. This is the behavior that I mocked in my post. I also have an old one that I think is somewhere in my drafts(?) where the evil behavior that they’ve seen among a bunch of proshippers that has made them hate all proshippers is venting about harassment from antis. The fake post I made mocking them is an amalgamation of those two, but you only get this one since I’m way too tired to go find the other one rn lol. If someone reminds me, I can reblog it with it later.
Also, I really can’t tell where I said in my post that I would tell these people to go to antiship blogs (other than my reference to a comment where I said that if all that people send to my inbox is how much they hate proshippers and basic proship ideology, then they should probably take that to an anti blog) instead of just deleting the ask, like I actually said in the post. The post that was really more of a way to let off some steam while getting some use out of the Tumblr polls that I practically never get to do anything with. Do you think that the person in those screenshots that I put above is more at home here than they’d be sending this to some anti’s blog?
But like to try to put myself in your shoes, you could’ve been having a shitty day when you sent this, you could be young, or hell, you could’ve seen someone say something similar to my statement recently while meaning this shitty completely different thing. Or maybe you’ve never seen my blog in your life and have no clue what kind of stuff I do/don’t post. My response might sound super defensive, and I hope that it doesn’t, and that I’m not jumping to conclusions, too. I’d hate to blow this out of proportion over what could easily be just a misunderstanding. If I’m being too harsh, sorry. I aim any coldness towards all of these bigoted ideas and the idea that I hold them, and not at you as a person, as I’m willing to believe that you’re an entirely rational person who just misunderstood me and lashed out at me bc of it. But if there is a next time, please try to give me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t ever intend to do anything harmful, and what I said wasn’t intended to imply anything like what you’re saying here at all. I’m not talking about proshippers venting. I’m talking about actual antis coming into my inbox with the “I’m like TECHNICALLY a proshipper, I guess, but I just despise proshippers and think that people who engage with certain types of fiction are inherently bad!!!” So unless you’re one of these people coming into my inbox, then I am NOT telling YOU to go to antiship confession blogs. And if you are… well, then you’re probably not gonna see this, since I’m going through and blocking all of these dickheads soon.
#thank you for answering my real question which was if I should ever use a poll instead of just silently doing things myself#you… made a BASELESS assumption about me that would’ve been proven wrong with. a quick scroll through my blog. and yelled at me for-#something that I DIDN’T SAY(!!!) for multiple paragraphs over this btw#I’ve considered deleting this blog so many fucking times#I’m honestly so exhausted at this point#if I don’t delete it I’ll probably just queue some things and take a long break#so get in your asks now!#not all your fault or anything. just saying it in case I post this and then there’s a long blank period#or if I come back tomorrow like ‘sorry for my outburst 🥺🥺🥺… mod has baby emotions disorder.’#it’s mostly stress over real life events and I haven’t slept in 24+ hours so I’m sorry if anything doesn’t make sense or is repetitive#what tf ever. man idc.#if I do take a break I might be back when my doctor refills my psychiatric meds#she’s out of office rn#sorry if this comes off as rude#your ask just felt really rude with the baseless accusations and the yelling at me and the telling me that my claiming that antis belong on#anti blogs is ‘horrifically stupid’#and ‘harmful as fuck’#but like whatever. you don’t know the asks I’m talking about#it’s just like really rude to assume that when someone posts a vague half joking rant that they are a bad person#I’m gonna try to get some rest I have a huge headache#I’m so tired
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