#i very rarely find actual real men attractive so

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

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[d1anna]

@ PRETTY BALLET GIRL! DO YOU LIKE GIRLS???? LIKE ME?????

[not-neverland06]

Hey! Love your writing and love Flux!! I was hoping to request a kind of angsty/fluffy fic with the worst!wolverine where the meet her in the void and maybe Logan knew her just not very well and he’s finally letting himself open up and be close with her (likewise with reader/flux towards logan) and they get into an argument or maybe logan has a nightmare and he ends up stabbing her with his claws and maybe the aftermath of him beating himself up and sabotaging the new relationship until reader finally snaps him out of it and says it was an accident and she still loves him?? Thanks!!

mistake

Logan Howlett x fem!reader

a/n: I want to thank you for this request because I've been having the worst writer's block in the world. I was worried about having to go into another unofficial hiatus, but this made something in my brain click together and I knocked it out in two hours. my life is yours 🙏🙏 Summary: You know him. Or, you knew him. And you never blamed him for what happened in your world. It wasn't his fault that everyone you loved died and you barely escaped with your life. But you never actually thought you'd have to see him again. You don't know what to do when all these feelings resurface with his appearance.

No one truly knew who you were back in your universe. After the horrific incident at the mansion, you had run. You’d run as fast and as far as you could from the slaughter of your friends. You’d barely escaped with your life, and from the amount of blood and gore they’d left behind, most people just assumed you were dead. 

It’s not like anyone cared about you. Scott, Ororo, and Jean had been the real heroes. But it didn’t matter because they were still mutants at the end of the day. It didn’t matter how many people they saved. How many lives they positively changed, no one would ever see past the fact that they were mutants. 

Being one of the newer members of the recently disbanded X-Men gave you enough anonymity to get through daily life without being recognized. It did not, however, protect you from being sucked into the shit fest that is the multiverse. 

You’re not sure what it is about you that just attracts bad luck. You don’t know if it’s some hidden power that’s a part of your evolution. You’re just apparently perpetually fucked. The TVA had determined that you were interfering with the proper flow of your timeline or some bullshit. 

Now you’re here. Stuck in the void with nothing but decay and drunk former superheroes. If you have to watch one more Captain America ‘rally the troops’ you’re gonna kill him yourself. You’ve considered switching teams and joining Cassandra Nova at times. If only so you don’t have to deal with Johnny Storm and the rest of the dipshits. 

You get along with Laura, at least. She likes to tell you about her Logan and you like to dodge her questions about yours. She doesn’t need to know that not every version of Wolverine has a golden heart and story worthy of tears. Yours was a fuck up, plain and simple, but you never thought the incident was his fault. 

As much as others tried to push the blame on him. The people who raided the mansion were determined. There was no other way that day was going to end up. You’d just have one less X-Man. But people always love a martyr more than a victim. 

After a couple of years, you get used to the monotony. Your days are only occasionally broken up by dodging Cassandra’s henchmen and trying not to get sucked up into the soul destroyer. Other than that, you spend your nights getting drunk with Gambit and pretending you know whatever the fuck he’s talking about. 

“Laura! I managed to find some chocolate!” You run into the hideout looking for the girl. It’s rare to find good food that isn’t already a month past its expiration date. You weren’t planning on sharing the candy with her but you figured she’d smell it on you and it’s not worth the fight. 

Instead, you stop short as the familiar blue and yellow uniform you’d always try to force on him comes into view. He’s stealing Gambit’s liquor and you know that’s not going to go over well. What you don’t know is why you are so sure that this is your Wolverine. 

You’ve never had a Wolverine in the void. Not once. This could be any one of the hundreds of thousands of variants. But you see that look in his eye. That familiar watery gaze shows just how much he hurts, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. 

“Logan?” You breathe his name out in disbelief. Bypassing the Deadpool standing nearby. You’ve dealt with enough of those in your time down here. He takes a step back, fixing you with a distrusting look. 

He keeps the bottle of alcohol clutched close to his chest like he thinks you’re going to take it. You track the movement and you scoff. “Right,” you shake your head and stop short. “Of course, the only thing you care about is still getting fucking drunk.”

He glares at you, taking a step forward like he thinks it might actually intimidate you. “Do I know you, bub?” He reaches forward, probably to jab his finger in your chest. You drop your gaze to his outstretched hand and narrow your eyes. 

The material of his suit fluctuates, pulling back and rippling over his arms like liquid and not spandex. He doesn’t notice the manipulation of matter until it's his skin you target. It melts off his adamantium bones and he stares down in horror. 

You know he's scared because he’s watching his body dissolve but he’s not feeling any pain. You could make it hurt, but that’s not what you want. You just want to see if he’ll remember you now. If there’s anything half-decent left in that alcohol-rotted brain of his.

“Flux,” he grits your X-Man name out through his teeth like it hurts him to say it. 

You nod and his skin and suit go back to normal, like you’d never tampered with it in the first place. “You do remember me, then?”

“Thought you fucking died with the rest of them.” Your face drops before you feel an astonished smile on your face. 

“You know, it’s a comfort to know nothing about my world has changed. You’re still the same spineless dick that left us all to die.” You shake your head and storm out of the hideout. You don’t know how long they’re planning on staying but you pray they leave soon. If you have to deal with him longer than a week, you’ll just kill him. 

You step outside just as Laura’s coming back from the bonfire. She greets you with a stiff smile and you wonder what’s got in her in a mood. It only takes a glance over her shoulder to find the reason.

Logan is sulking by the fire, nursing yet another bottle of whiskey. He’s drinking it like water and even with his healing, his liver should have turned to mush by now. “I can see why you didn’t tell me about him,” she mutters as she passes by you. 

You know she tried to be quiet but you can see the way Logan’s head tilts slightly towards you. He’s heard her and you know it has to sting just a little.

You glance down at the leaves under your feet, eyes glazing over as you feel the guilt sink into your stomach. You shouldn’t feel bad, you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t hurt him, technically, just reminded him who you were. But you still feel bad for what you said. 

You’ve never blamed Logan for what happened. And if you did, you would be a hypocrite. Because you survived too, and you left them all behind. You ran like a coward. You could never blame him when you failed to save them just the same. 

You take in a deep breath and steel yourself. You’ll just apologize, walk over there, and explain to him you didn’t mean what you said. You know he’ll be a dick about it. Claiming he doesn’t want your apology. You’ll just leave him alone after. 

You’re about to step forward when he barks out a gruff command, “Don’t fucking stare at me like that. I don’t want your company.” He turns back to the fire and takes another swig from his bottle. 

You roll your eyes and walk towards him. “You can be as miserable and self-pitying as you want, just let me say one thing.”

His head whips towards you so quickly you’re surprised you don’t hear it snap. “I’m not fucking pitying myself,” he grits out. You quirk your brows in amusement, glancing towards the bottle in his hand and the clear way he’s sulking. He turns his attention back towards the fire, intent on ignoring you again. 

“I don’t blame you for what happened,” you tell him. You ignore the warning look he shoots you, taking a seat beside him even if he doesn’t want you to. “I-” you choke on the words, struggling to admit to yourself what you’ve never wanted to. 

“Don’t.” You know it’s meant to be a warning. But when you look at him and see how completely broken he is, it sounds more like a pathetic plead. 

But you need to say this. As selfish as it is, you need to say this to someone., Need to unload this guilt you’ve carried for so long. “I was there, Logan. I could have saved them and I didn’t. I fucking ran.”

“Kid, don’t do this-”

“Jean was still moving,” you blurt out. You feel the way your heart speeds up at the admission. Your fingers shake and the air around you stills. 

His face drops and he slowly turns towards you. You’re afraid to look at him. You feel like a bunny staring down the snout of a wolf, there’s no escaping this. You’ve created this trap for yourself. 

“What?” He demands. His voice has lost that tremor of vulnerability. Instead, he sounds like he did when he first found out what had happened to you all. That same deadly level of calm that makes you want to bolt again. 

“She,” you stare into the fire until your eyes burn. You don’t know if it’s from the light or the smoke but the pain focuses you. “She was shaking on the floor. There was blood everywhere and she could barely breathe. They had gassed us with something. None of us could use our powers, it’s the only reason they got a one-up on us.”

You can feel yourself slipping back into that moment. You feel the warmth of the blood on your skin. It seeps into your suit and makes the material cling to you. Your gut is split open and the only thing holding your intestines in is your hands. 

Jean is in front of you. Her hands are twitching by her sides. There’s blood pouring out of her lips, dribbling down her tongue and cheeks. Every breath is a rattle so deep you feel it in your bones. 

Each inhale sounds like someone dragging glass through the membrane of her lungs. Her chest rises and sinks shallowly as she gasps for air. She’s practically convulsing, eyes twitching every which way.

The gas has faded from the halls. The people have left, satisfied with the carnage. You’re alone, surrounded only by the blood and bodies of your friends. None of the others are moving. Some of them are so mangled you can’t even tell who they are anymore. 

Jean’s eyes lock onto yours. The only anchor she has. And you can see it, the frantic, wounded animal gaze on her face. She knows she’s dying. She knows there’s nothing she can do about it. 

You can only stand by and watch as your friend dies. You could be her comfort. You could be the last face she sees before she dies, distracting her from the sight of her dead fiancee behind her. 

But what do you do?

You hold your guts in your stomach and you run. You can’t look at her. You can’t look at any of them. You can hear her croaking behind you. And even when you’re out of the mansion, when you’re in a hospital somewhere getting repaired and Logan’s on a rampage, you still hear her. 

You feel something heavy on your arm and it’s like you're being forcibly dragged out of a trance. Logan’s looking at you with something you’ve never seen before. But it’s something you’ve always desperately craved. 

It’s like he’s seeing you, really seeing you. For the first time in a long time, you feel that ache of guilt ease away ever so slightly. It doesn’t disappear, but you’re sharing the burden with someone else and it’s a relief you’ve desperately craved. 

“You’re not a bad person for leaving, kid.” He swallows roughly and you place your hand over his. He doesn’t look completely comfortable with the touch, slightly flinching away from it, but he doesn’t move. “If you hadn’t, you would be dead.”

You squeeze his hand, forcing him to meet your gaze. “I never blamed you for what happened.” emotion is so thick on your tongue and in your throat that the words come out a whisper. “Their deaths weren’t your fault, and what happened after wasn’t.”

He clenches his eyes shut and jerks his hand out of your grip. You sigh, knowing you’ve lost him. “I slaughtered them.”

You scoff, “They slaughtered us!” You nearly shout, anger bubbling hot in your gut. When you heard about him killing those who had hunted down your friends, you’d celebrated. And when you heard the way the public was crucifying him, you realized that no matter what you did they would never love you. 

You would always be nothing more than a mutant to them. 

“And the people who didn’t hurt them? The innocents I killed?” 

You don’t have anything to say to that. You just stand up, placing a hand on his shoulder as you pass by him. “I never blamed you, Logan.”

You don’t see Logan again after that. At least, not while you’re in the void. What was left of your little resistance was sucked up into the purple cloud of death. Only you and Laura are left with the carnage. 

Logan and Wade have disappeared to who knows where. It stings, to be on your own again. Sure, you have Laura, but she’ll never understand the pain of what happened to your universe. 

As much as it hurt, at least with Logan, you had someone to share the pain with. You could share your burden with him. You feel lonely and cold. Like there’s a part of you missing. You finally figure out what that ache is when the TVA comes to collect you and you see him again. 

He’s standing behind Wade as he enthusiastically tells you and Larua all about his world. But you can’t take your eyes off Logan, or the tentative smile on his face. Whatever had happened during that fight with Cassandra Nova had changed him, for the better. 

You smile back at him and it feels like taking a breath of fresh air after years. 

Apparently, whoever this world’s Flux had been, she was fucking insanely rich. And dead, which sucked for her but was great for you and Logan. 

It’s not hard for you to fake some government identities and explain that you’d been mistakenly marked as dead. It’s apparently pretty common in this universe. Superheroes are blipped out of existence all the time. You couldn’t get all of her assets as some had been liquidated, but you did get her giant ass house. 

You let Logan and Laura stay with you until they decide where they want to go. It’s better than living with Wade and his coke-fiend roommate. Laura finds her groove pretty quickly, it is her world after all. But you and Logan struggle to figure out what to do with yourselves. 

Neither of you has an interest in being X-Men again, and it seems like they’re not incredibly present in this world either. You also hadn’t been the best of friends, even before everything went wrong, back home. 

You’re not strangers, you’re not friends, you’re that awkward place in between. Each day is another opportunity to get to know each other. The progress might be slow, but you know that you’re getting closer to something real. 

It’s why you don’t feel any qualms about running into his room when you hear him shouting. You burst into his room and the door slamming against the wall isn’t even enough to wake him up. 

He’s writhing around in the bed, sheets twisted around his waist while sweat beads down his forehead. The noises he’s making remind you of a wounded animal. There’s something heartbreaking about this. 

He doesn’t get peace even when he’s sleeping. It makes you hurt for him. You want to smooth over the aches and pains he carries and burden yourself with them. 

The thought snaps you out of your reverie and you’re shocked by the revelation. You’d been growing closer to him, but you hadn’t thought you were growing this close. You feel so strongly for him, but you’re not ready to put a name on what it is that you feel for him. You just know that right now you want to make him feel better. 

You approach the bed cautiously, taking a seat beside him. The bed ripples and jolts underneath you as he tosses and turns. You place a gentle hand on his arm and shake, “Logan,” you whisper. You don’t want to startle him too bad. 

But he’s not responding to anything. It doesn’t matter how much you shake him or call out his name. Finally, you can’t handle it anymore. You get on your knees, sitting over him and bringing your palm down across his face as hard as you can. 

In a second he’s shooting up. You don’t even notice his hand until you see the way his vision clears. The visceral panic fades and something is aching in your gut. “Oh god, no no no,” he says the word so many times it stops sounding real. 

You look down and see the blood dribbling down his palm, the claws buried in your stomach. It’s almost funny, how perfectly aligned they are with the scar that already lived there. The reminder of your friend’s death being erased and reformed by Logan’s hand. 

He pulls his wrist back and you quickly snatch it up. “Don’t!” You shout, jaw clenching against the pain. “Don’t pull them out, I’ll just bleed out.”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” You know he’s worried, that’s why he snaps at you. But it doesn’t help the way you feel yourself fighting back tears.

He sees them drip down your cheeks and his face drops. His other hand, the one not in you, comes up and cradles your cheek. “What do I do?” He whispers, and he sounds more desperate than you do. 

You know he doesn’t want another death on his hands. But there’s something beyond that. He doesn’t want to be the reason you stop breathing. There’s a startling clarity when you’re slowly dying. 

He cares about you. Just as deeply as you do for him. You can’t make him go through this pain again. Can’t let him suffer alone, not when he’s made so much progress. “Slowly,” you tell him, guiding his claws out inch by inch. 

It’s hard not to black out. You’d barely felt it when he’d gotten you the first time. You think it’s because of how fast and sudden it was. But this, having them oh so slowly slicing through your insides is the worst form of torture. 

But you don’t heal like him. You have to close your eyes, focus on the pain, and forcibly reknit your skin back together. It’s a clever manipulation of your powers, but it’s a slow one. You could never take serious damage on the field because you wouldn’t be fast enough to repair yourself. 

This is easy to repair. But that doesn’t make it hurt less. It feels like an hour before he can safely draw them the rest of the way out. The second he does, you’re sinking into his arms with a pained sob. 

He clutches you so tightly to his chest you worry your back might snap. He keeps muttering apologies into your hair, hands desperately grasping at every inch of you he can hold. You’re too tired to say anything. 

You realized you should have. You should have told him you don’t blame him. You were the one who snuck into his room. You should have been smarter. But it doesn’t matter how many times you tell Logan not to blame himself, he always will. And you were too tired to try anyway. 

You only realize what’s happening two days after the incident. You figured he might need some space to process what happened. And honestly, you did too. It was awful and incredibly draining. You’ve felt fatigued ever since. 

But when you try and approach him and he just brushes past you like you weren’t even there, you know something is wrong. You watch his retreating back with a disturbed glare. You connect the dots quickly, already knowing what he’s doing. 

He doesn’t want to be responsible for hurting another person he loves. He can’t handle a loss like that again, even if it’s not by his hands. He wants to make sure you don’t want him, that you don’t care for him. Like that might ease the pain and guilt. 

But it wouldn’t. It would just make him feel worse. It would make you feel worse. 

You don’t waste a second, following him up the stairs and barging into his room before he can slam the door shut. It bounces off the wall and he lets out a deeply irritated sigh. He doesn’t turn to look at you, just walks over to his nightstand and rummages around through the doors.

You know he’s not looking for anything. He’s just trying to ignore you long enough for you to give up. It’s not going to happen, he should know better. 

You take a step further into the room and the smell of chemicals slams into you. Your nose wrinkles in disgust. It smells like he pumped Lysol into the vents. Your eyes dart to the bed and you sigh. 

Your blood, you’d completely forgotten. He must have been cleaning it up the morning after. You can’t blame him for wanting to get rid of the remainder. But this seems excessive. 

“Strong nose,” he mutters. You hadn’t realized you’d spoken aloud and you glanced over at him. “I can still smell it, even after cleaning.” He takes a seat on the bed and you hate the way his shoulders are slumped. 

He’d seemed so much more comfortable with himself lately. It’s like one accident has undone all his progress. “Logan,” you start, taking a step towards him. He holds his hand up, still not looking at you. 

It’s driving you insane. You wish he would just meet your eyes. You feel like you could change his mind if he would just see you. Maybe that’s why he won’t. He won’t let himself be happy. 

“Look, that night just made me realize what a huge fucking mistake this was.” He gets up and slides something out from under the bed. It takes a moment for you to register what it is. A duffel bag, packed with all his essentials and what little clothes he owns. 

He’s going to leave.

You act without thinking. Pure panic making your powers surge out. Logan grunts and the bag falls out of his hand. “Quit it,” he snipes, bending over to pick it up. But he can’t because it’s so heavy it’s making the wooden floor splinter and crack under its weight. 

“You don’t get to just leave when things get hard, Logan.”

He stands up, hands propped on his sides. There’s a challenge in his eyes that makes you nervous. “Fuck this,” he scoffs and brushes past you. 

It’s beyond manipulative to use your powers against him. But sometimes, someone is such a fucking idiot, they need a little outside help. You slam the door closed and the handle disappears, locking you both in his room. 

He turns towards you with a fierce glare on his face. “Open the goddamn door before I break it down.”

“You can try,” you taunt, a nasty tone to your voice. You’re sick of this. You’re sick of running from what you want. You’ve been miserable and alone for years. You want to be happy. For the first time in forever, you want something. 

And you want Logan to be happy with you. You can’t force him to feel the way you do. But you can stop him from actively preventing this. “Stop acting like a goddamn child and just talk to me!” You shout at him. 

There’s a disbelieving look on your face. You don’t understand why he won’t let this happen. Why does he have to fight so hard against any semblance of happiness in his life?

“I’m going to hurt you. That is all I do. I hurt the people I love and I cannot hurt you too.” Your eyes widen in shock at his outburst. Beyond anger, there was so much fear in his voice it was almost enough to make you miss what he’d said. 

“You love me?” You can see the realization dawn on him. The fact that he let slip why he’s so hesitant to be around you. You know he wants to leave, his eyes are darting around the room for an escape route, but you’ve blocked them all. You can’t let this go, not now. 

“Logan,” you snap, demanding an answer from him. 

“Fuck you,” he mutters, something vicious on his face. 

He’s going to hurt you. He’s going to lash out and say something cruel so that this doesn’t happen. You know him because you’ve been him. He will take every possible route to get out of this if it means he doesn’t have to face his feelings. 

You roll your eyes and take a step forward. You jerk him towards you and throw yourself on him before he can say something stupid. The kiss is brief, just enough to snap him out of this ridiculous headspace he’s in. 

When you pull back he looks dazed, but he’s relaxed in your hold, sinking towards you. You grin up at him, “I love you too, dumbass.” You lean up to kiss him again but you dart back at the last second, a mean glare on your face. “Pull some shit like this again and I’m going to melt your dick off.” 

You kiss him before he can respond, but you feel the smile against your lips. You can taste the defeat on his tongue as he wraps his arms around you and tugs you into his chest. He’s not going to push you away and you’re not going to let him. 

end. — I do not own the characters or the comics/movies Wolverine/X-Men, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

General Taglist: @evasmlp

Logan Taglist:  @nonamevenus @smexy-bucky-waifu @wh1sp @peony-always @corvusmorte  

@mrs-ephemeral  @wolviesgirl @allllium  ♡ 

[spiderfreedom]

the male gaze distorts reality

started watching movies again (just don't like movies really) and one thing that surprised me was how the male gaze isn't just about staring at hot naked ladies, but how it distorts reality. the male gaze creates 'people' and 'situations' that simply don't exist.

the biggest example to me is the femme fatale. the devious woman using her sexuality as a weapon. whether the trope is a blonde bimbo bubblingly bouncing her boobs, or a sophisticated older brunette casually letting the strap fall off her shoulder and threatening to reveal her bust, they are different incarnations of the same concept. the women are knowingly using the sexual desire of men against them.

i watched a particularly egregious example where a group of women were sent to seduce a group of men, hanging off their shoulders, caressing their chests, with the promise of further sex if they came to another room. the true purpose was to humiliate them by getting them to disrobe in front of other people.

when i was a kid watching these scenes, i was convinced that this was a real thing women did - there were women out there who knowingly used their sexual appeal to get men to do things they otherwise wouldn't. it had to be such a recurrent trope for a reason, right? it even shows up in movies for children - remember the hot pink pegasus seducing hercules's pegasus?

but as an adult, i find myself confused watching these scenes. i've never seen anything like this happen. i've never met someone who says they do things like this. it's one thing to be flirty and dress in a sexually attractive way to get free drinks, but it's quite another to be so sexually forward to 'deceive' and 'trap' men. not to mention, it's... dangerous. if the man even believes he's being deceived, he can turn violent. it's a foolish move.

maybe the only real life example I can think of is honeypots. but honeypots are actual spies, trained by governments, and spies are selected to have less empathy than the average human being. do we really think that among untrained women there are so many seductresses with the skill of trained spies?

"what about sex workers/prostitutes?" while the honeypot spy is employed by a government agency, prostitutes are paid by the very people they are "seducing." prostitutes have to put on an act - they need to pretend to be the sexually active and perpetually horny woman men both want and fear. but most prostitutes are not like this; they are in it because they need money fast, not because they think fucking strange men for pay is a sexy and desirable career path (fun fact - read the diary of madam pompadour, the most famous courtesan and the embodiment of aristocratic seductress, and you will find she actually did not like having sex with the king and dreaded it. not even our real life courtesans can live up to our fantasies.)

the entire idea of a woman using her sexuality against men is simply a male fantasy - and the flipside is that it's a male anxiety, too.

men wish that women would approach them and find them desirable and initiate sexual intercourse with them, without the men having to do any of the work. there's nothing inherently wrong with fantasizing that a hot person finds you so special and hot that they want to have sex with you right away. men and women of all sexual orientations entertain these secret fantasies.

but then, there's the fear - "what if these hot women are actually only pretending to be interested in me, to get something from me? and i'm too horny to think straight and i actually give it to them?!" and that is the male anxiety, that for a moment, they actually end up losing the upper hand. despite the fact that such a situation is actually pretty rare in real life (I asked several male friends if they had personally or second-hand encountered such a situation in real life, and none could say they had), it is a common trope in fiction. it is especially lascivious in film, where the seduction before the fall can be portrayed in softcore porny ways.

"this is a foolish idea, everyone knows fiction and reality are separate." well, we know they are separate, but do you know which parts? if you don't already know the facts of the situation beforehand, how can you tell when fiction is lying to you and when it's drawing from reality? do you think the young, sexually inexperienced kids watching disney's hercules know that 'seductresses' aren't a common threat when we watch this scene? or will they learn and think "ok, a thing that happens in grownup life is that hot ladies seduce men, and you gotta watch out for them!" what basis does a child or even a teenager have to know this is false? especially when this is a common trope?

"women are sexually available and active - and deceitful" is a harmful trope. when you read about the ancient greeks stereotyping that women are lustful, they don't mean it in an "aww shucks, these girls just love having sex!" kinda way, they mean it in a "women are unfaithful and will use any means to get dick, including taking advantage of their hotness" way (this is why 'whore' is the ultimate insult for women). because if this trope were real, then it would be dangerous, wouldn't it? honeypot spies are dangerous for this reason. luckily for us, it is not real, but the male anxiety surrounding it continues. the male desire/anxiety around it informs porn tropes about 'punished sluts'. it informs incel tropes about the 'cock carousel'.

and this is what i mean when i say the male gaze distorts reality. it fabricates, out of whole cloth, a person that does not exist in any meaningful way - a woman who seduces men while demanding no emotional involvement, who is eager and willing at all times, who can turn the very desire for her existence against those men to get what she wants. she is not repulsed by or afraid of the men she pretends to be attracted to. before, we had to content ourselves with art and novels glorifying this false woman, but film allows her to exist in flesh and blood. cast a real woman, have her speak words and move her body in ways dictated by a man, and suddenly she appears much more real. grow up with enough of these, and even women writers can start to think these "seductresses" are real people. she can try to reclaim her and turn her into a badass boss babe, or she can condemn her as immoral and pathetic, but the deception is complete - the argument is no longer about whether this woman exists (she does not), but about whether she is justified in her ways. the female writer does not realize she was nursed on the male gaze for years, and it will take serious seeing with her own eyes to realize what is the real world and what is male fantasies and fears.

[confusedmothboy]

hear ye, hear ye! not every demon slayer character is hot, the mangaka is just bad at drawing different faces

while im on the subject of rants and just being on here in general is this a safe space to say that very few men in demon slayer are ACTUALLY that hot and its just because the mangaka has the worst case of same face syndrome ive ever seen. no, shinjuro is not attractive. he's a violent drunk deadbeat but because hes drawn with the same eyes, proportions, and that STUPID FUCKING COPY PASTE NOSE people willingly admit to finding that thing hot. lemme just. hold on.

like look at these four. chose em randomly, they arent related, notice how the only variation in their faces is eyes/eyebrows, and expression? same face shape for all of em. same general proportions. you could switch around the faces from head to head and itd still look like them. "oh but rengoku's eyes are so unique!!" his whole family looks like a copy paste factory to the point the only thing distinguishing shinjuro from senjuro is a few extra lines on his face. thats not unique thats just bad design. ive never seen a show that does such a bad job at distinguishing ages as this one. it's infuriating because what do you mean a 13 year old and grown demon lady share the same face.

its actually ridiculous how people dickride all the male characters cause theyre "so hot" yeah man its the same face on ALL of them. eyes and hair are not enough to make a character distinct. its infuriating seeing people going "hold on a second why is genya's dad kindaaaa" dude of course he is the artist doesnt know how to make adults look their age with distinguishing features.

dont even get me started on the background characters. this is the same boy drawn with four different haircuts.

youre telling me that when these two infiltrated the entertainment district inosuke was immediately swept away by a house but zenitsu was given away for free because hes just that ugly??? THEY HAVE THE SAME FACE.

and then people get pissy when artists with semirealistic styles draw the characters and they don't all look the same like sorry man im not drawing zenitsu and tanjiro with the same face because guess what!!! real people have variation! and saying its just the style of the show is a dumb excuse. hantengu and gokko have the most realistic features and literally even that doesnt stop them from looking really similar to everyone else. i love this show but i rarely interact with the fandom because i never see people calling out how boring they look sometimes. give me a character with a hooked nose! a babyfaced character that isnt just 5 years old! make their eyes smaller! add freckles and other small unique traits! give them different face shapes for the love of god im begging you. i feel like im the only one who realizes that as beautiful as the art is it lacks the unique character designs because at the end of the day a character design is more than their haori, eyes, and hairstyle.

this started as a lighthearted rant about how fans will blindly simp for the background character of the week (cough cough muichiro's dad) but it kinda turned into incomprehensible thoughts on same face syndrome in the show. my bad yall.

[kittycathat]

LGBTQIABCDEFJ is not real just stop. It's made up acronym that is rarely used outside of tumblr. Queer is not an identity its just an adjective. most intersex people explicitly state they do not consider themselves lgbt. Most lgbt people do not want to associate with aro and aces. And most lgbt in the real world living normal lives and not chronically online have little to no contact or knowledge of asexuals we literally dont care. Ur existence is so insignificant offline and if we ever met a self proclaimed aroace het cis man we would probably make sure we never had to associate with him again. Ur not gay just give it up and go live a normal life. Ur a single cis person. U either dont have the emotional capacity to love someone or u are sex repulsed and dont want to have a relationship with someone either way thats just normal and there are plenty of people like that we dont really care if u want to be alone all ur life just leave actual struggling gay people alone and shutup about ur stupid discourse no one cares except urselves.

That is true, the acronym is actually LGBTQIA (with variations,) not LGBTQIABCDEFJ. /sarc

but anyways hi anon! Theres a lot to unpack here

about "lgbtqia is rarely used outside of tumblr": that's the problem, bc we want it to be

about "its not an identity just an adjective": not quite sure what you're on, bc it literally is

about intersex people: this goes against what you just said, and supports that "queer" is an identity even more?? because these intersex people are choosing whether they identify as queer or not

about lgbtqia people not wanting to associate aro or ace people: bro if these are people you actually know irl, please find new friends. Find friends who actually support normal who are living their lives, just without romantic and/or sexual attraction.

about me being chronically online: anon.... i dont think you can talk after you typed out this whole thing as an attempt to make me feel bad... but ok. (also not very related but anonymous hate is a very very pathetic thing to do)

about asexuality being not well known: Also not sure what rock you live under but asexuality is pretty well known??? like the average person (at least where i live) will most likely know what it is.

about cishet aroace men: .. ok but why would i not want to associate with him? plus everyone lgbtqia is "self proclaimed" so idk bro

about not having "emotional capacity": bro what the hell do you want me to do,, i've literally never felt romantic attraction in my life

about "there are plenty of people like that": People might not want to be in romantic relationships for a number of reasons, but if it's because they don't feel romantic attraction... then they're aro-spec. Thank you for supporting the aro community by saying it's normal <333

about "we dont really care if u want to be alone all ur life": bro its the internet if you don't like what i'm talking about just SCROLL

about leaving "actual struggling gay people" alone: .. when did i do anything against gay people? Plus if you're trying to stop hate... why did you anonymously send a literal hate essay to me

about "ur not gay just live a normal life": omg you got something right!! i'm actually not gay!! (so proud of you <3) Also i do live a normal life, i am so basic you can't even imagine

about no one caring: well you see.. thats the problem. that's part of why i post about aromanticism, because i want people to be actually supportive

anyways! tysm for reading all that. please be civil in comments, and be kind to everyone guys <3

[sugasiren]

☆ASTRO FACTS☆ ♈️

The Aries Woman & Her Real Power ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 Pt 1

**FYI - this blog contains mature content.

Time to clear up some misconceptions! And confirm some truths. So pull up your seat, grab a snack & prepare for TOTAL fucking honesty. 💯 While this post is primarily about Aries Suns, much of it can also be applied to other Aries placements in general. So take whatever resonates.

♈️ Aries Women are usually into more dominant, masculine types. They adore men who are stronger & smarter than them whom they can learn from. 👍While Aries Women are indeed fully capable of taking care of themselves, they love knowing that they can lean on and trust the man that they love if needed. They prefer reliable partners with backbone. They have NO respect for passive males, as they will DESTROY a weaker man's soul. 🔥 Eat him alive just like the large plant in the 'Little Shop of Horrors' movie. 🤣 It truly ain't pretty!

♈️ Contrary to popular LIES... many Aries Women are VERY feminine. They aren't doormats though! Nor the girl-next-door type. Ram Women typically embody the "Hot Girl" or the "Femme Fatale" brand of Femininity. ❤️‍🔥 She's often the Leader of the pack whom other women model themselves after & want to be like. Jayne Mansfield, Diana Ross & Mariah Carey - Aries Sun 🌞; Sade, Janet Jackson, Pam Anderson - Aries Moon 🌙; Marilyn Monroe & Liz Taylor - Aries Venus ⚘️. Are any of these women Tomboys?? FUCK NO! They are womanly, spicy & passionate beings. Learn the damn difference.

I sometimes find that Taurus, Cancer & Virgo Women can push the "masculine" stereotype onto Aries Women the most because they wish to be more like them in certain ways. 💯 For instance, most Aries Women aren't taking care of ANY man. But I've seen Taurus paying for men, Cancer mothering men & Virgo trying to train men into being obedient dogs! Add to that, Scorpio Women are often control freaks who insist on leading. Sag & Aquarius Women are rebels who often try to compete with & emasculate any man that they encounter. So who's actually lacking in Femininity here?? Not Aries, from what I see. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Lots of projection going on.

♈️ Aries Women are indeed outspoken. They are typically confident & in possession of strong boundaries. They are open & honest communicators who aren't afraid to ask for what they want. Most Men LOVE this about them and wish more women were like this! 🩷 Alternatively, deep inside of every Ram Woman is a sweet, adventurous little girl with a heart of GOLD who yearns to feel safe. ❤️‍🔥 A maiden wanting her protector! They're an astonishing blend of pure innocence like the Spring Goddess Persephone + the wit & warrior spirit of Goddess Athena. 🙌 There are sooo many interesting layers to the Aries Woman!! It's insanely fascinating. They are deeply selective with who they disclose all of this to, though. So they can be misunderstood at times.

♈️ Aries Women are Masters of keeping men ON THEIR TOES in a healthy way. They like men and men adore them. 👌 They highly value autonomy, so they extend that to their partners and give them breathing room. They inspire men to be better, more powerful versions of themselves. They do have tempers!! But they don't hold grudges and their sex more than makes up for the trouble. 😺 They are playful and NEVER boring! How TF do you think we keep attracting the best of the best?? Not by being a Basic Bitch, my friends. 🤣

♈️ According to Marriage Statistics: Aries Women have the longest-lasting marriages with Leo Men, Sagittarius Men, Aquarius Men & Aries Men. ⚘️⚘️ After that, we also have solid odds with Capricorn & Taurus Men. We most often divorce Virgo, Gemini & Libra Men which makes TOTAL sense to me. Not surprised! Aries Women do not enjoy flaky and/or nitpicky partners.

♈️ Aries Women are just as sensitive & intuitive as Cancers in certain ways - we just follow our GUT instincts more than the emotions of our heart. 🔥 We're rarely wrong about someone's character. We bully the bullies! And *if* we care about you, we have your back until the very end. But if you betray us?? You will go from feeling like the most special person in the world... to the most worthless piece of gum scraping off the bottom of our shoe as we walk away from you FOREVER. 🙌 Do not play with us!! Don't play yourself by losing the best prize you'll ever have.

That's all for now, darlings. Happy Aries Season!! ♈️ And thanks so very much for all of the new follows, shares & support!

[lydiaxxxxx]

I find it so frustrating how women (especially in media but in real life as well) are literally not allowed to be unattractive, and if they are it's all they are.

Even forgetting how much higher the the standards are for what it takes for a woman to be considered attractive compared to for a man and the crazy beauty rituals that go into it, if a man is considered unattractive he can still be other things. A great example in media is how in TV shows and movies when there are "intentionally" unattractive male characters they are still full characters with other characteristics as well, sometimes theyre even the main character. But when a female character is unattractive thats all there is to the character or it's only used for jokes. And very very rarely are they the main character and if they are, the whole story is about their appearence.

We often can't see past it because we've been taught to think women are only there for us to look at and if they're not nice to look at then whats the point, right? Often even when a female character is supposed to be "ugly" she is still played by a conventionally attractive acress because who wants to look at unattractive women for two hours, right?

It's even become a common joke how so many (celebrity and otherwise) unattractive men are dating attractive women. It's because men's value is considered to come from their actual personhood, so it doesn't really matter that much whether they're attractive or not. But for women appearance comes first, it's what we've been taught women's literal value comes from.

[chiropteracupola]

now that I have finished watching All The Sharpe That There Is, we have made a Tier List of our Very Strong Opinions. behold.

further (condensed) commentary from yours truly and usual partner-in-crime @sailorpants under the readmore:

S: Eagle, Company, Battle

Eagle: 'the plot of this one makes sense,' 'it really does show (well!) that this was the first book,' 'one of the ones we rewatch,' 'a good episode of television!'

Company: 'Pete Postlethwaite is a great actor -- Hakeswill made me want to throw up,' 'the lads and also the horrors,' 'genuine emotions were elicited,' 'well-established team dynamic at this point'

Battle: 'bad men! good men! beautifulest ladies!,' 'if Perkins must die then at least he gets a really cool death and to be bridal-carried by Harper and mourned by everybody,' 'the fucked-up love square,' 'plot hangs together well,' 'this episode has the most women of any Sharpe episode: four,' 'I have watched this episode three times', 'these rewatches were with lust (for the beautifulest ladies)'

A: Enemy

Enemy: 'decently written,' 'all the lads are there,' 'type of enemy Hakeswill becomes isn't as compelling and the inconsistency brings down both his episodes,' 'egregious women-tossing,' 'it is cool that there are other women; however Sharpe would not do That,' 'French people allowed to be interesting as a treat,' 'Sharpe and Teresa SOULMATES quote [screams]'

B: Rifles, Honour, Sword, Siege, Waterloo

Rifles: 'bit of a rough start,' 'the first half is good and then it gets Weird... phobias of sorts are In There', 'TERESA!'

Honour: 'extremely cool fights in this one,' 'Ramona!!,' 'some of the best Chosen Men banter in the whole series,' 'fake-Sharpe's-death plotline is quite well done,' 'unfortunate nonsense'

Sword: 'epic Harris moments cannot earn this episode a better ranking,' 'good casting and the background characters are cool,' 'the Lass deserved much better than this episode gave her'

Siege: 'oh, the chemical warfare episode,' 'they've learned to workshop their plans since Honour,' 'made me believe that Sharpe and Jane's relationship could have worked out, 'plot hangs together well (rare in a Sharpe episode)'

Waterloo: 'the scale of it doesn't quite sit right,' 'pretty good episode,' 'Paul Bettany is uncanny and I don't like whatever it is is going on with him,' 'getting the gang back together for one last Lads Adventure!'

C: Regiment, Mission, Revenge, Justice, Challenge

Regiment: 'more time with the Chosen Men could have saved this,' 'Company was a better 'the army sucks' episode,' 'the wet soupy episode'

Mission: 'it takes me two minutes to remember what happens in this one whenever I think about it,' 'again epic Harris moments cannot save this episode,' 'quite a high SCUM score,' '[impact font] MARK STRONG'

Revenge: 'ehhhhhh,' 'Lucille's nail-gun is the only thing that is cool and fun,' 'weird vibes about it,' 'Ducos' Bond-villain stuff is needless escalation,' 'Frederickson's ending is fun'

Justice: 'he's a cop in this one,' 'don't like Hagman's mustache,' 'Jane plotline no good, '[from sailorpants] when I actually watch this one I'm gonna have THOUGHTS'

Challenge: 'would rank this higher but I do have receipts on the fact that I was having a Bad Time throughout,' 'Toby Stephens makes this worth watching,' 'almost everything else about it is bad,' 'high points in every SCUM category,' 'four whole named plot-relevant speaking-role-having women! haven't had that many since Battle!,' 'TOBY STEPHENS CUNTSERVACIOUS LITTLE OUTFITS'

D: Gold, Peril

Gold: 'we don't need to discuss why we are ranking it like this'

Peril: 'the secret good Peril that lives in my head is so cool but unfortunately it is not real,' 'they are trying to have Themes and it is not working,' 'casting director is now finding conventionally attractive men instead of weirdguys with interesting faces,' 'Daniel Deever should have his own entire show but unfortunately this is a show about Richard Sharpe (I would write about him so much if I felt that I could do him justice but therein lies the Research Pit)' 'most important point is that he has a locket with Antonia's picture but the rest I could take or leave and I will probably leave it'

[deathvalleyqueen]

After spending 3 days arguing on Steam this is what I have learned.

After posting several reasonable arguments of why xyz thing is a part of Veilguard - including citing lore, the short stories, etc... that people just want to shit on the game because mostly they don't find characters attractive, that the characters are Pan, and you have the option to make a transgendered MC. The amount of times I have seen "woke" being used to describe the game is absurd. They need to expand their vocabulary.

It's so gross when you get down to it - I want to stress these are not my opinions by any means - they hate Neve because she is a disabled woman of color and "Who the hell wants to romance a woman with one leg- I would never date her in real life". They think no one wants to romance Darvin because he is a black man. They hate Lucanis because he is an "ugly anime boy with wings", the hate Bella because she is "fat and has saggy tits" and she is not white, they hate Taash cuz she is too masculine, they hate they made Harding "ugly". Emmrich is like the one they say "he looks okay" but he is white...

I genuinely think the people on Steam are just angry that people who aren't like them are getting rep in this game (which I love to see, I know how beautifully diverse this community is), like the only people who play Dragon Age are white men who just want women for the male gaze. It's beyond toxic. They are constantly complaining "women don't play real games" while I have almost 1k hours in Destiny which is a "real" game to them but my opinion isn't valid because I am a woman... and will probably play the game on the easiest mode. Like excuse me sir I have done every single Raid in Destiny, I have solo'd Legend the campaigns in D2, I have very rare achievements in BG3 that are combat based, all things you can see on my profile, like I have pretty serious gamer chops. But my achievements to them are null because I am a woman. The worst part is some of them are women. Sexism and Misogyny in gaming is very much alive, particularly from other women.

There is no pleasing these people, there is no having a reasonable discussion. There is no citing actual lore from the games that supports things in Veilguard, there is no pushing back against them because they will legit just start calling you horrible names and Steam does nothing as far as moderation which allows these people to run amuck and entitle them to be bigots. Really, it's one of the most disgusting places I have had the misfortune of seeing.

[anghraine]

On a less cheerful note, I was thinking with some frustration that I've reached 2024 and somehow I'm still not okay, even though there are so many good things about my life and so many people in it to help me, why am I like this-

And then I was remembering a conversation I had earlier with another early modernist about how her conservative Southern Baptist upbringing led her to feminism and academia, and how I didn't say "I get it" because I didn't want to make it about my Mormon-raised-with-some-Catholic-influence personal issues when I've had basically nothing to do with Southern Baptist anything.

And then I was thinking about discovering lesbians were a real thing via visiting a church bookstore at around... age 12 and seeing pamphlets for conversion therapy. I don't remember clearly what they said, just that they were from Evergreen whatsit and I was scared for years after.

And gradually, I figured out the weird way that people talked about my bio dad's sister was because she's also a lesbian, but her conservative Catholic family found it easier to pretend not to know. This led to a weird conversation a few years ago with my grandmother (bio dad's mother) where she was asking why I never have any men in my life. I mumbled something about just not really being interested, and she was like ... oh, you're like your aunt :)

me: Um—well—yes.

my grandmother: Just so devoted to your career :) There was this wonderful man I thought she really loved, but she just didn't have space in her life for marriage.

me: *blink*

And I was also thinking about, basically, a million other things from growing up in rural US towns when I did. At the time, much of it felt too individually small to justifiably get worked up about, but much of it still rattles around my mind. Some things were bigger than I even realized, in fairness—say, the Evergreen pamphlets represented something much bigger and worse than I really comprehended at that age. I was pretty much on my way out by the time I fully got it (and Evergreen is more or less gone now, I think—while I'm still here and still queer, hah). Some of the gender shit + homophobia of that time seems almost comically trivial in this era of senators ranting about the corrupting filth of LGBT+ people, or alternately it's so dated that even said senators wouldn't bother.

Anyway, it's kind of wild how I just ... don't think about a lot of this a lot of the time, and actively wonder how certain things got so fucked up in my head even though my life has been easy in many ways. And then I'll have this early modern British lit/feminism conversation and not think about it much at the time (we ended up having a perfectly nice conversation about the Pacific Northwest and the deficiencies of Shakespeare scholarship) and have a mostly good day and then somehow end up staring blankly at the wall at quarter to midnight thinking about how scared I was as a teenager.

I do not like being angry tbh. I'm irritable, sure, but rarely actually angry because I find it so unpleasant, even in the fairly slow and cold way that I generally get angry.

But I've been trying to organize my thoughts and I think I might be angry about this. I was more familiar with "gay" as a slur than as a descriptor into my 20s because, see, the church preferred to talk about people struggling with same-sex or same-gender attraction as part of these earthly trials, not gay people. Describing people as gay might be too validating or something, at least then.

And part of the reason this stuff can be so difficult to navigate in the present is that very "at least then." Because things could get far better than has ever actually happened, and it wouldn't make anything better for who I was at 15. I'm the one carrying that around. Not uniquely, since tons of us came out of that environment and others of similar kinds, but—

Okay, ethically, I believe that people always have the choice to simply do better than they did in the past and this should be encouraged. But that doesn't un-do anything for me.

It's fine and good to say, look, certain things are much better than they were in 2000 (or whenever). And that's true, some things are, and I'm not at all sorry about that. But sometimes it seems like those of us who are still around are supposed to just forget the things that shaped us when we were reaching adulthood, like it doesn't matter any more because that was another time and we're in our 30s or older. Like we shouldn't still be affected by our own pasts, even when the main actors are still around and completely unrepentant, or were hateful until the day they died.

I am angry about it, in my way, I suppose.

[burnandblind]

Freak with a Capital F

So like I said: I'm a shut-in. An introvert. A hermit.

A misanthrope, if you will. I know there's not actual causality but understandably, the correlation is high.

Just as it is high between intelligence and neurodivergence.

And neurodivergence and queerness.

Of course, being "conventionally attractive" makes the whole ordeal of existing that much more...complicated.

You can be a pretty one, or a strong one, or a smart one...but if you try to be all three? Or happen to be endowed with them and improve upon?

Well. I've found it's pretty rare to have High Stats all across the board.

But unfortunately, being mentally ill, weird af, and also chronically financially unstable?

Ha. Forget friends. At least for me.

Then there's the Paranormal Experiences. And the special interest in enlightenment, human potential, psychology, sociology, etc .. Interests in everything. Good at basically anything.

Except interpersonal relationships. Except.. being normal.

I've always been searching for someone I could relate to.

But that was never the problem. It wasn't that I didn't relate to other people.

I've seen myself in others and vice versa since I was very young. I've always been very understanding and compassionate.

Yielding.

But now?

Now, I wonder about this guy who used to work at a GNC.

He was a very attractive white man. At the time I would've been in my mid-twenties. I'd say he was around the same age, too.

Dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, gorgeous physique.

He ended up killing himself.

I think about him periodically. Along with everyone else I've ever known. Their lives, their struggles. Their bonds and their flaws. Their good and bad traits.

I see no real difference between us. I don't. Not really.

But this... intersectional existence I have? This... perception of reality?

Well. Maybe I give off a different Electromagnetic Field than others.

It's definitely possible, considering what I've done my whole life.

Focus on the impossible.

I want to find my people. My soulmates.

They look and act a certain way. I think they'd hold the same values, at least. Have some of the same experience, some of the same understandings.

I want to be attracted to someone 100%. Physically, mentally, and spiritually.

I've met/seen men, women, and nonbinary folx (or others) who I thought/felt.. I fell in love with how they looked at first sight.

I've had the privilege of experiencing that a half dozen times so far. Mostly women. Because I'm 90% attracted to women. More intensely than men or any others. Even more so if they're ciswomen. Even more so if they're mixed. Even more so if they're... compatible.

But I have not found a woman who I am physically attracted to who I am also compatible with.

I've only been with a handful. My brain is... odd. About who I find attractive and who I don't.

There's plenty of people who are definitely attractive that I don't want to kiss.

Even more so people who are attractive or cool or whatever... but they're not my people, you know?

Oh well.

I like being me. I don't like dealing with capitalism. Or people being fucked up about me being trans. Or being held to stupid standards.

I'm masculine enough. I'm feminine enough. I'm smart enough and I love to learn and grow. I always focus on getting better.

And all I can think is: When I finally get my shit completely together.. is that when I will find them?

But how could I trust anyone or anything by then? If all people seem to care about more is my financial stability and normacly?

I'm... kinda tired. Of just being cordial and diplomatic with people. People are what they are. Everyone is... relatively good. Just like I am.

But I'd rather be alone. Reading and exercising and focusing on enlightenment than interacting with anyone.

[gayhenrycreel]

i think people need to stop being so angry about people having genital preferences. its not transphobic to not want to eat cunt.

im a trans man and im only attracted to men with a dick and a flat chest (this includes trans men). i cant help it. its just how i am. its not because i don't see trans men as men or something, im just not into pussy.

stop shaming people for not being into girldick or boypussy.

ive also noticed that a lot of these people shaming others about this are also very... weird about bottom surgery. bottom surgery is just as life saving as top surgery. if you actually look on transbucket you can see that it does look real and its very rare that someone completely loses sensation after bottom surgery.

im not as familiar with vaginoplasty, but it seems that people who fear phalloplasty think that scars are hideous and that the first stage is the only stage. thats not true. scars are just a part of someones body, and phalloplasty has secondary stages, after which the neo penis looks just any other dick. stop looking at photos a few weeks after surgery, look for photos a few years post op. it takes time to heal.

people who fear metoidioplasty just think micropenises are gross. thats it. they also think bottom growth is disgusting.

weirdly, all of these people are trans. i have not seen a single cis person on this site go into trans tags and claim bottom surgery is mutilation. ive seen many trans men do it. (the terfs seem to stick to their own tags).

honestly with all the terfs around here its really fuckin weird.

they also seem to believe that there are 4 genders: men, trans men, women, and trans women. thats clearly not right.

they stereotype trans men (they call them boys regardless of age) as being white, submissive, and never wanting to transition. its very rare i see art of trans men who are not white femboys.

they do the same to trans women- sorry, "trans girlies".

interestingly, they always draw feminine women and men, but never masculine anyone. art of masculine people is always drawn by those who are in the process of transition or butch lesbians.

its the terf kool aid. they think masculinity will make them like their oppressors, so they cant imagine that anyone would ever want to be masculine in any way.

they really seem to think bears are gross too. smells like fatphobia.

theyre also weird about trans people who are... not young twinks? why do they keep drawing us in maid outfits? consistently?

and then theres the fanfics. a while ago i made a post about cis people doing this, but since then ive realized trans people do it too. a lot. i am yet to find a fanfic featuring a trans man who is not a submissive bottom. always with tits. always scrawny. always ALWAYS into having his cervix destroyed.

some trans men are like that and they deserve representation, but its the only representation i see.

also, when you look at these peoples bios, you see that they are either cis women in their 20s, or teenage trans guys.

i think they are so out of touch with real world queerness that they have come to believe the stereotypes chasers have made for us.

and thats why trans tags read like fetish tags.

also, transhet people get thrown under the bus. completely erased. i have never seen a fic depicting a straight trans man- sorry, "pussyboy". sometimes i see one saying noooo, hes bisexual. and then he gets railed by a cis man youd see in hollywood.

and why is every fic about trans people porn? do we exist outside of porn or are we just mpreg fetish fuel? yeah, a lot of its mpreg. and they react to REAL LIFE MEN getting pregnant as some kind of joke. they make suggestive comments, theyre just all sorts of weird and invasive. its gross. those are real people.

it fucking hurts to see other trans people talk about bodies like mine as if we're not real actual humans, just sexual fantasies.

i cant go into ftm tags because theres porn everywhere. and its not bots. its young trans men who think trans men are only defined by pussy.

thats not how it works. we're defined by being men. not all trans men have tits and vaginas. surgery exists. this place is crazy.

on youtube men declare that women and faggots are destroying western civilization for wanting basic autonomy.

on tumblr, everyone, except a select few who stop to think, declare that masculinity is inherently restrictive and oppressive and that testosterone is poison. which republicans on youtube also claim. the difference is that tumblrinas think cis men are included in being poisoned by testosterone.

go back to terf island and grovel at the feet of jkr like you have wet dreams about.

just because youre trans doesnt mean you cant be transphobic.

have you heard of tirfs? trans-inclusive radfems. they believe that trans women are women and must be saved from the evil men, and that trans men are men and so are rapists. terfs love them.

you need to understand that transphobia is not the defining trait of terfs. the defining trait of terfism is the belief that men are disgusting, violent, sex driven, out of control, abusive, and rapists in waiting. ive seen them say that male fetuses should be aborted by law. thats eugenics. ya know, like fascism.

because thats what it is. by my definition, fascism is the belief that certain humans are not worthy of life. terfs think men are not worthy of life, and drag trans people into it.

before you decide that trans men, or whatever fetishy term you call us, are all twinks, think. like, at all. is there a reason you think this way? do you have room in your worldview for hairy trans men? hairy feminine trans men? trans bears? trans men of colour? masculine trans men with long hair?

trans men who have surgery and T shots?

or does that seem too much like... i dunno... body horror to you?

thats how these people react to sex changes. they make comments on photos of phalloplasty scars and say it looks like a horrible burn scar. it looks painful they say. "how do you go out in public?", "why would you put yourself through that?".

if someone had a kidney transplant would you say such things about those scars?

both are life saving surgeries. treat them as such.

stop writing the same smut over and over about a woman who can only have vaginal sex and never be anything other than submissive and breedable and slap the word "cuntboy" on it. has it occurred to you that some trans men would like to read about guys like them? not a bunch of white twink clones? fucking hell, it hard to find twink clone smut where the twink even has a flat chest!

it actually makes a lot of trans guys really dysphoric to have so much attention put on the parts we're born with. not all trans guys, but a lot. honestly the lack of representation makes me feel like i have to use parts of me that i cant even look at. ive seen a lot of other guys express this feeling too.

are we not sexy if we don't have sex a certain way? not getting representation hurts. it feels very isolating. the only kind of people like me who get called sexy are called sexy for things i can not do. (seriously i am physically not able to get anything in my front hole without extreme pain. how do you think trans guys like me who are physically incapable of vaginal sex feel about boypussy fetishism?)

anal sex is a thing. do you think its too gross for your twink clone to try? almost like... its unnatural...?... its dirty...?... its... sinful?

good fuckin job, buckaroo, ya reinvented classic homophobia.

there is no form of consensual sex that is sinful. you're just anti kink! if ya think anal sex is gross wait till ya hear about fisting.

youre all "i wanna turn that femboys prostate into jelly" until you realize it in his ass. so you give that femboy a g-spot instead. it doesn't take much to realize that all holes have something gross that comes outta them, not just ya asshole. i mean, blood and earwax is pretty unpleasant too. youre fine with kissing and vomits definitely gross! (your nose is also connected to the back of your throat so if you french someone youre gonna get nasal cavity mucus on your tongue)

if you think anal sex is gross youre just an 80s homophobe.

think of of it this way: i dont wanna stick my dick in a hole that ejects a buncha blood every month anymore than you want to acknowledge that some people prefer to shove something up their asshole. both are equally gross, and neither of them are actually gross at all unless youve been told its gross your whole life.

stop deciding that (however unconsciously) trans men can only be skinny white young twinks. i have actually yet to met a trans man above the age of 20 who is skinny. the trans guys ive met irl are fat and hairy. its quite obvious that the twink thing is just a stereotype.

seriously, yous are missing out on writing smut about fat hairy men, but youre too scared of being *gasp* not perfect under white cishetpatriarchy, ergo it is incomprehensible that someone would be attracted to that let alone want to be like that.

ever since i watched Jumanji: welcome to the jungle, i have wanted to be a fat middle-aged man. i was genuinely confused that that barbie didn't like it. cant remember her name.

yous are the same people who wanna "fuck that old man" arent ya? the people who are usually grossed out when you see an old man above the age of 30? it seems like the same sorta mentality.

if a cis guy got hairy would you call him disgusting and unattractive? not that ive seen. its reserved for trans guys on T.

tldr; theres nothing wrong with having a preference for certain genitals, those people who say its wrong just think its transphobic because they think not being attracted to someone means you hate them. they just don't realize that some people get bottom surgery and that its not a bad thing. theyve been drinking the terf koolaid

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

Unpopular opinion: I strongly dislike the assimption that Alex and Miles are "straight" or "just comfortable with their sexuality" specifically because they havent explicitly stated their queer. As a queer person, I very rarely just out and say I'm this specific label. Not to say they cant be straight or comfortable of course. But when its specifically because they havent announced it, it irks me! This additionally goes for writing that attempts to line up with real world events and also tackle internalized homophobia! It can be done but more often than not it has ruined a story for me. Apologies for the rant but I do think thats my hottest take.

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagreeii

i couldn't agree more with this - and not just in terms of alex and miles, but for literally anyone. everyone's sexuality is personal and unique, and no one is EVER under any obligation to disclose it unless they want to. as a fellow queer person, i'm the same as you - i typically prefer not to come out and announce a label for myself amongst people who don't really know me, and i can only imagine how much that must be amplified if you're someone who's also having to deal with the horrors of celebrity culture.

on a similar note, it also annoys me when people assume alex and miles are gay just because they've engaged in some behaviour (see: literally the entire eycte tour) that's considered less than heterosexual. to me, it smacks so much of biphobia, and the amount of misogynistic hatred directed towards both of their past female partners is something i find so difficult to see.

i guess what i'm trying to say is assumptions about people's sexuality generally not something i'm on board with. like yes, we can often see that people appear to be attracted to people of a certain gender/genders because of things like their dating history, and obviously artists give us a real insight into their emotions with the things they create that can hint in certain ways too. but the point is, ultimately, we don't KNOW these people. and so while yes, sometimes it seems pretty damn certain that they might lean in a particular direction (eg to me, everything we know about alex and miles strongly points to them being interested in both men and women), we don't actually know how they like to label themselves. and so to make assumptions that put them in a box at one end of the spectrum or another just feels really reductive and inappropriate, and often coming from a place of biphobia or homophobia to boot.

there are a whole bunch of VERY valid reasons why someone might not want to disclose their sexuality to the whole world, and i wish people didn't feel the need to try and label them for them.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

EIGHTH SENSE THEORY

(content warning: I will be referencing suicide attempts and vomit in this post)

I saw other people speculating that Episode 6 might be some sort of medication misuse psychotic break on JaeWon's part and honestly? Having just watched it. I definitely think this man is hallucinating.

I'm not entirely sure if this was something that came from the nature of watching this episode not on Viki, but so much of the episode seemed too bright, too blurry. The way the light hit the JiHyun's white jacket made it look like he was reflecting light, like he was heavenly or angelic in a way.

Like when they are in the car in the beginning:

Or eating on the bench:

Or arriving at the beach:

And something I noticed while watching these scenes, admittedly coming in to it having already seen discussions of a possible mental break, is that JaeWon rarely makes eye contact with JiHyun and they do not physically touch until 12 minutes into the episode.

Not until we have seen them walk up the stairs once already.

First set of stairs:

Second set of stairs:

But crucially here, it's windy, and JiHyun is gripping JaeWon in a way that might equate the force you feel from a strong wind.

Other hints that JaeWon might be hallucinating?

Same food order at the same time, something cute if they actually did that, but something that could also be explained if only one person was ordering food.

JiHyun taking his food with him when he goes to the bathroom but leaving his drink. We saw him take a bite out of the food, so if that food was real and he left it on the bench, we would have seen evidence that food had been eaten. But we never see JiHyun take a sip of his drink AND we never see JaeWon or JiHyun buy that drink. Meaning it is completely feasible that JaeWon ordered two drinks and set that one down for "JiHyun" even though he isn't actually there.

And of course, there is further evidence, in my mind, for this being a hallucination or mental break of some sort due to the many, many instances throughout Episode 6 of JaeWon's face being blurry.

For example, here:

And here:

And here:

And...ok you know what? I'm going to stop these examples here

The morning they wake up on the beach seems fake, again it feels too bright, too heavenly in a way:

And the kiss scene is so interesting to me for a few reasons, and is also why I am leaning towards hallucination/imagination. First of all, they are in public, there are other people around on that beach. When JaeWon was holding JiHyun's thigh in Episode 4 and JiHyun's best friend came out on the roof, they slid apart real quick.

And it's not like their attraction to one another hasn't been obvious, and it's not like JaeWon hasn't literally kissed men in front of people before. They aren't completely opposed to being openly queer, but this is a huge, undeniable, and extremely public kiss.

I am also just so in love with the choice the production team made to cut out all sound when they are playing in the water. Because that silence can be interpreted so many ways, the main two for me being: intimate and insidious.

"To cause you trauma," is an excellent response to JaeWon asking why JiHyun kissed him. Because water is, presumably, a very traumatizing thing to JaeWon. I don't think he said how his brother died, but his microexpressions to JiHyun referencing water torture definitely lead me to believe that JaeWon's brother drowned (learning to surf perhaps?) and JaeWon finds both comfort and pain in returning to the sea as a way to feel connected to his brother but also to punish himself for failing him.

Then we get the bed scene. Now, I don't want to presume anything about JiHyun, he's totally allowed to be a slut, but...this show has continuously established this boy as naive and innocent. Like, totally unaware of the implications of asking JaeWon if he wants to "eat ramen".

So to go from not understanding innuendos and still not being entirely certain that JaeWon kissed you intentionally that first time or if he was just drunk, to full on make out sessions and getting dicked down? I am all for JiHyun testing out his slut era, but I don't think that is the case here.

And I'm citing the background music as part of my evidence here. Because the background music is the song "I Can't Lose it All" and comes in at the last verse of the song, BEGINNING WITH THE LYRICS:

"I'm losing my mind

So darling just call

Tell me everything's alright

I don't want to slow

I can't lose it all

Make me feel like I'm suppose to go

Tell me what you thinking about me when I'm gone."

--

Which honestly, makes me believe JaeWon is imagining all of this intimacy with JiHyun as something that he craves but can't let himself actually seek out. Therefore he is letting himself have it all.

And I just want to give a shout out to this shot:

The way the waves are washing over their feet, in this room that we didn't see them rent, when they were only supposed to stay there for one night and now are apparently on night two in a fancy room instead of camping on the beach. It's a beautiful shot, but also some beautiful foreshadowing to the tragedy at the end of the episode, with the water rising up to meet them.

My final piece of evidence that this entire episode has all been in JaeWon's head?

This shot at the end where JaeWon is sitting by himself, looking at his hand in the sand because I'm pretty sure this shot comes chronologically before JiHyun's drowning. I think it's what any outside observer would actually see if they were to look at JaeWon, and I think the image below, in the brighter light, holding JiHyun's hand, is the hallucination that JaeWon is having.

Which meanssssssssssss............

If we believe the trip itself to be real, but JiHyun's presence on the trip to be false...

JAEWON IS THE ONE WHO IS DROWNING/DROWNED.

If we take this entire trip to be imagined/a dream then he hasn't actually woken up from binge drinking the night before and in that case I would say that he could be aspirating on his own vomit at the end. Either way, I feel like next episode might start with JaeWon waking up in a hospital.

Personally I think the greater tragedy would be JaeWon had a mental breakdown, disappeared without a trace, wound up at the beach here, and drowns, alone. With the resolution being that he is rescued, revived, possibly involuntarily committed or something for a possible suicide attempt...

...which now that I think about it, this could straight up be a suicide attempt of him trying to overdose on his medication, and like the alcohol result above, the drowning could be him aspirating his own vomit from overdosing on pills.

ANYWAY

All of this to say, I think JaeWon maybe took his therapist's question "why not make the relationship deeper?" very much to heart, and imagined a world where he was comfortable confiding in JiHyun and being entirely honest with him.

And also all of this to say that I believe there will ultimately be a happy ending for this show with JaeWon almost dying resulting in JaeWon finally cutting his shitty friend out of his life, JaeWon's Dad possibly being less aggressive after realizing he almost lost both of his sons, and JaeWon and JiHyun admitting their feelings for each other and being boyfriends in love surrounded only by supportive friends. I think JaeWon will end up graduating with his business degree but maybe pursue photography as a career or something at the end.

And I'm tagging @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @chicademartinica, and @respectthepetty because I want your THOUGHTS, I want your FEELINGS, I want your THEORIES and also tagging @lurkingshan because as I was scrolling through tags to try to find the original post about the possible medication induced psychotic break that started my theories rolling, I noticed you point out a lot of the same things I mentioned here so I also want your thoughts, feelings, and theories, or at the very least say that you are not alone in thinking that this was fake.

[destinyc1020]

I'm sorry for harping on this situation, but what's sad is Austin is a good-looking dude. He's objectively hot. Any woman would want to be with him. Yet, in his personal life, he's with a girl who yes is attractive but who seems self-serving. She's grown up in privilege and has dated a lot of hot men, yet she's always happier being with women than other men.

I was listening to an emma chamberlain podcast about how, at times, it's hard for famous ppl to find love because of most self-sabotage, and most aren't good ppl. I'm not the biggest fan of emma, but she's closer to that world than me, so I appreciate her perspective.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bXVPfEiXnq6WfuDHYUJO9?si=SCcwFEqITUyVHMn3RwTrjg&t=199

Thanks Anon 😊

This sounds like a very interesting topic! I'm going to have to listen to her podcast when I get some down time.

I've actually always felt that it's very challenging for many celebrities to find real, genuine love, especially when you get into a certain fame level.

I also think that the outside factors in the industry, the temptations, the way people use them for clout, the extremely busy schedules, etc. all can make it very hard as well.

That's why I really cherish what Tom and Zendaya have, because it seems genuine, and I know that it's very rare to find, just in life in general, let alone in Hollywood. 🥰❤️

Anyway, idk what's going on with Austin, but I agree that he's handsome, and he seems like a genuinely nice guy. I hope he eventually can find real genuine love with someone one day. 😔 I think what he had with Vanessa was actually very genuine and real.