#i usually don't post my vent art but i decided i wanted to this time

[dual-hearted]

something about introjects and growing up together

[huntinglove]

How to get away from antiship spaces (mostly)

Warnings: Long post, antis mention, mentions of pedophilia, rape, self harm and gore (none show, not descriptive)

Have you recently learned that you align yourself with the proship label? Would you like to get away from antis as safely as you can? Here's what I've learned, as an ex anti:

1. It may be hard, but try to get rid of/abandon your accounts where you used to interact with antis.

This is one of the hardest steps because having a lot of followers can be discouraging, but it's the safest approach in this situation, because if antis see you following or interacting with proshippers they WILL question you about it and depending on how you tackle their asks they'll throw you to the wolves and publicly "warn" people about you so people can mass report your account/harass you

This applies to anything; Tumblr blogs, Twitter profiles, Discord servers, if you've interacted with antis block them and delete your account if you decide to adopt the proship label

Antis constantly claim that they don't harass people but as soon as someone drops the anti label they dogpile them and call them "traitors" as well as their usual buzzwords to catch people's attention, it's better to pull the plug directly than just rebrand your account

1.5. If you REALLY want to keep your account because you've used it for a long time or because it works as a portfolio, please create a different account to post about proship content

If you make a new account remember to block your anti mutuals/followers from your main account before you start posting, art styles can be very unique and easy to spot similarities in, as well as typing patterns and reoccurring emojis/symbols

If there's the option to, keep your profile private until you've built a steady environment for yourself, if you prefer to keep your profile private permanently that's also a good option!

Remember, your safety matters more than numbers on a screen!

2. This one should go without saying but, please don't share much of your trauma/mental health issues/triggers with people online in general, but especially not with antis

I used to talk about my struggles and vent publicly a lot, antis would stalk my accounts and send me all types of fucked up content.

I've had people send me rape videos and threats, people telling me I deserved the abuse I went through, people would send me gore and self harm images, as well as suicide tutorials.

They can and will use all of it to their advantage, they're restless and will dig up even decade old posts if they feel it'll be useful for them. It can and will take a toll on your mental health, so please save yourself the trouble and only open up with people you genuinely trust and feel safe talking to!

You're not alone, but please don't let dangerous people take advantage of you when you're at a bad spot

3. Keep an eye on your followers, especially if your profiles are public. There are always some things to look out for to make sure your followers aren't antis pretending to be proshippers

According to my personal experience, here's some red flags to look out for:

A.Antis think that the word proship means problematic ship, so they'll refer to pairings as "a proship"

Most proshippers dislike this terminology because it comes from an incorrect definition and usually avoid it

B. TikTok antis specifically come up and use a lot of emoji combos, creating meanings for them and usually adding one or two combos that are actually known to proshippers, along with some never seen before

A lot of the time they use it to identify themselves, a sign that means "I'm not actually a proshipper, just baiting"

I've also seen antis use the clover emoji in combos, inspired by the "clovergender/cloversexual" scam that 4channers came up with, to make it seem like the LGBTQ+ community was welcoming to offending pedophiles. Antis do this because they assimilate the proship label with problematic ships, mostly age gaps/underage content

C. Their account is brand new but they already follow a lot of proshippers. This is usually because they'll follow proshippers who've been posted on a blocklist, usually in the exact order that they've been listed too

If they're on Tumblr, they'll usually keep the people they follow public, so that other antis can find and harass those proshippers

D. Keep an eye on their follow list. Like stated above, they'll usually keep it public and 9 times out of 10 there will be an out of place antiship account, it's most likely their main profile/account/blog

E. They'll use their usual buzzwords on their own posts

For example, if they're trying to mimic a proselfship account they'll post pictures of underage characters and caption it things like "omg i'm such a pedo" and tag their post with proship related tags

Of course this doesn't apply to everyone, so it's always important to take context into consideration, as well as how many of these red flags may apply.

And lastly, please remember that the block button is your friend.

If someone's interacting with you and something about them seems/feels off, block and move on

[dotterelly]

I'm going to say something because I know a number of people have followed me recently because of QSMP content and I feel it would be neglectful not to at Ieast once acknowledge what's going on.

I am following the qsmp tag and I don't filter out discourse because I don't want to create too much of an echo chamber around myself and then be ignorant of problems. However I don't intend to post much of anything about any of the discourse.

For the small fandom drama, I'm an internet granny. I've been in fandoms before and I know there's always people in any community who's passion outweighs their tolerance and ability to understand other points of view. I'll vent about it to friends directly sometimes but I don't intend to get dragged into pointless discussions.

For the bigger issues, I see them. I tend to give it a few days to a week to allow at least a little time for full details to come out before deciding how it will impact my personal interaction with the content I love. I take what actions I judge to be appropriate according to the specific circumstances. But these days I tend to avoid reblogging or posting about things myself. This is because I - a. Usually have nothing useful to add to the conversation. I do not have related experiences to give my opinions weight, and I don't feel I have the right to talk for others, particularly others that know what they're talking about far better than I. And b. I've had a rough few years with my own mental health so for my own sanity I just have to focus on the things that make me feel happy, like good art and kind people and stuff.

That's my baseline rule for reblogging. I prefer to mostly be spreading things that are funny, friendly, kind, and to express my admiration for people. Some negative does slip through the cracks from time to time because I'm only human. I'm just a human being trying to exist.

I guess if you take anything away from this post, that's it. Don't forget that most of the people you interact with are only human. We aren't omniscient, we aren't telepathic, we aren't angelically good or devilishly evil. We will always continue to see the world through the lens of our personal life experiences and brain chemistry and that will always make some things obvious and other things hard for us to notice or understand. And because of that the most important thing you can practice doing is to be kind to others, particularly to strangers.

OK I ended up rambling a bit there. Tl,dr - I will mostly keep this blog discourse free but that doesn't mean I'm unaware of the discourse.

[i-like-anything-water]

Really relieved to here you are still posting Chloenette, but either way, I'm going to (Slightly) dial back by including other stuff: Idea 1: Wenclair goes on a double date with Chloenette. Wednesday and Chloe talk about how two "bad girls" like themselves ended up dating a pair of sweethearts, while Marinette shows off her fashion design skills to Enid.

Idea 2: Chloenette, but Chloe and Marinette switch financial situations. Marinette is still nice, but incredibly rich and a bit disconnected from "regular" problems. Chloe is now struggling to get by, and has a big chip on her shoulder about her lot in life.

Idea 3: Chloenette AU where Chloe secretly practices martial arts and enters illegal matches on the streets as a way to vent her frustration and aggression... and somehow ends up with Marinette as her manager as illegal fighting groups begin wanting to recruit her.

I can never give up on any of my ships. They're too precious, ya know?

Idea 1: It starts off with compliments. Their girlfriends are amazing and they want everyone within a ten meter distance to know about it because that's just how they are. They're Addams, it runs in the blood.

The compliments started to get more specific until it had words like 'well my girlfriend is' until the two are just trying to one up each other by trying to compliment their girlfriend that it's more like waxing poetry.

Marinette and Enid are watching from the side as Chloe growls while Wednesday crosses her arms. The two girls sigh as their other halves try (and fail) to intimidate each other.

"You wanna go get ice cream and watch the latest TWICE videos?"

"OMG, yes!"

The two leave and chat as they buy ice cream, Marinette showing some of the designs she thought of when she saw the latest videos and Enid getting excited and gushes on how "so cute!" and "they should totally wear that!".

When they come back Wednesday is already at Chloe's back trying to headlock her. Chloe had transformed to her werebear form and was swatting at Wednesday like a bug.

Idea 2: Reminds me slightly of my Fake Dating AU. Marinette knows she's lucky to be born with wealth and money at her disposal. She doesn't take advantage of it (well, most times) and would rather have her own earnings. Alya teases her how she can be a bit clueless at times regarding financial problems.

She tries to help people as much as she can but Chloe was not most people. She's offered to help the blonde by covering the cost of their paired up projects but she's only met with an indignant huff and a sarcastic reply of, "Don't worry. I'm sure splitting the expenses won't get met out of this place easily."

It's not like she can really blame Chloe. Sure, she was a brat but she was also dealing with a lot of problems. Most problems Marinette haven't had in her sixteen years of living.

It's been eight months since the other girl begrudgingly accepted her (consistent) friendship and well...

"Dupain-Cheng," there's a warning in her voice but Marinette decided it was time to maybe push a little. See how far she can go this time with the blonde.

"Bourgeois," she says it like a tease, her lips turned upward, "Let me pay for our coffee? Come on, just once!"

"You're an insufferable brat."

"Thank you, you taught me well."

"Oh, fuck off. I don't need your money. I can pay for coffee. I'm not a charity case, Dupain-Cheng."

She'd usually give up by now, especially when Chloe uses the 'I can pay for myself and I hate your pity' line. But, she has a plan...

"I know you can, but I also know you want to buy that pretty yellow blanket for Pollen..," she honestly didn't know who Pollen was but guessing from Chloe's stories, it was probably her pet.

A raised brow, "So?"

"So, let me pay for our coffee this time. Get the blanket for the lil fella."

"Dupain-Cheng -"

"Or you could repay me later." Please say yes please say yes please say yes-

"Okay." Yes!

Marinette grinned, "Great! There's this newly opened Japanese restaurant I found and I know you love sushi. Repay me by going with me?"

Chloe's eyes widened, her mouth slightly parted. Her face colored pink as she looked away from the blue haired girl.

"F-fine."

Idea 3: Chloe wasn't sure why she trusted Alix when she said she found her a competent and trustworthy manager for her preferred...hobby. work? lifestyle? honestly she didn't know what to call it but she loved doing it.

She was expecting a stoic stranger, maybe a woman who's seen a lot of things in life to not be worried or deterred about Chloe's job(?). Someone who can come to her matches and strike up deals and competitions with other people while keeping everything professional. She was expecting a coach and a manager.

She was not expecting Dupain-Cheng of all people. Reminder to self: kick Alix's ass next time you meet for brunch.

Marinette, to her credit, did not: stumble, stutter, fluster, speak Adrien's name for the entirety of the conversation, called Chloe a brat or tell her she was lost and she was actually a manager for the build a bear right next to Chloe's favorite diner. So, points for her.

Chloe was still Chloe though. "You seem to be lost."

"And you seem to still be difficult."

A scoff, "Fuck you. Alix is probably laughing at me right now. How did she even get you into this mess? Did she tell you she was looking for someone to manage a newly opened boutique while staring at the boy next store across the street?"

Marinette snorted, "No and I do not stare at the 'boy next store'. That's just rude."

Chloe smirked, "You didn't seem to mind staring at Adrien."

"I was thirteen."

"All I'm hearing is you have a type."

The shorter woman's eyes crinkled in amusement, "Oh? And what is my type, Bourgeois?"

"Nice, perfect, and blonde."

"Hmm, you're right about one thing."

"Perfect?"

"No," Marinette leaned up against her and Chloe felt her breath hitch, "I like them blonde, but I also like them dumb and difficult."

Lol I think I made them too long xD. Thanks for the asks!

[jevajoy]

A little about me...

DNI if you are a pedo, heavily religious and don't accept non believers, all the usual stuff (light proshippers are allowed!)

I don't have any money to donate so please don't ask me for donations

You can call me Jeva!

I'm a minor that goes by she/her

I am a sfw blog, the worst you will get is profanity language maybe blood? Yeah, blood

I love to draw but sometimes -most of the time ngl- I just say random stuff

I mostly draw Addison stuff, sometimes most of the times tbh I talk about Splatoon!

I am rather Depresso Espresso tbh

I do not take commissions but do take asks!

I will not reply to hate -though feel free to send it ig- but I might only if it's in a message

I don't always immediately reply to asks so sorry about that

Serious stuff aside I'm either chaotic or chill, you decide <3

You can come vent to me tho I might not always reply/give the best response but if you just want someone to talk to I'm here <3

If you know me irl don't say my name, instead call me Jeva <3 because I hate giving pi :)

Shadow blog @jevadespair?!?

Totally didn't steal one of the images from @porg-porg-porg

Trump supporters go away

My wifey is @blip-boi everyone follow them <3

My other blogs and Addison's

Glitch ask blog @ask-glitch-addison

Cherry ask blog @totallynotcherry

art blog @Jevajoy-art

I am not in anyway religious. I'm not a atheist though, atleast I don't think I am. Any time anyone says anything in the topic of like may God bless you and hope god makes your life amazing etc, it just makes my stomach turn into a knot, if that's anyway of explaining it. Really, when anyone mentions God or that God created the world etc, it just makes me feel sick inside. Horrible stomach pains. So, if you are heavy Christian/religious and don't agree with me, please send hate if you want. I am sorry for everyone I upset with this post, but I must speak my truth.

[the-clockwork-vixen]

Welcome to Chaos.

Well, hello there! Didn't expect to see you around!

WHO AM I?

My name is Eryn, Vixen, Vix, Cogs, or Clockwork, aka the Clockwork Vixen, a transfem furry who likes writing stories, composing music, playing video games or nerding out over video games/military stuff hailing from Ontario, Canada! I also tend to dabble in 3D modelling (I’ve made a few Sonic Screwdriver designs :P) and I’m beginning to try to get into digital art.

CURRENT FIXATIONS:

Bold italics means main Tumblr fixations!

Doctor Who

Military, mainly Canadian

Hollow Knight

The SCP Foundation

DO NOT INTERACT LIST:

You are not welcome on my pages if you fall under one or more of the following (you will be blocked and/or reported):

NSFW

Toxic

Anti-LGBTQ+

Anti-Furry

Suspicious profiles (default theme, unchanged/suggestive/outright NSFW icon, default banner)

Negative relations with friends

Part of a community I am trying to distance myself from

Supporter of anyone who falls in any of the above categories

MY OTHER PAGES:

Give 'em a follow for more Vixen shit!

@the-26th-doctor (My Doctor Who character blog)

@the-broken-knight (Hollow Knight shit)

@foundation-site-89 (An open project where anyone can participate, set in the SCP Foundation universe)

@the-command-lounge (A Minecraft: Bedrock Edition group of command block engineers)

ASK BOX RULES:

Asks are welcome, but to keep things easy for me I've laid out some rules:

Don't ask for art. I'm not an artist. I will not answer. And even if I was an artist, that wouldn't fly unless I specifically posted.

Be respectful. The VixVerse is meant to be kind and welcoming.

Don't be weird. If myself and/or others feel uncomfortable, I won't answer the Ask and you might find yourself blocked.

If you want to send in an Ask, go ahead! You can address it to myself or my Cast of characters! (For Asks towards Twenty-Six should be directed to @the-26th-doctor. Anything towards the Broken Knight should be directed towards @the-broken-knight. And if you want to ask Site Director Cinders anything, turn your attention to @foundation-site-89.)

TAGS

I tag things - usually!

#vixen rambles - Shitposts or other non-fandom posts

#vixen update - Important stuff regarding me!

#vixen rants - Usually paired with #serious shit, for when I’m sharing my views on something serious or venting about something

#serious shit - Stuff that’s actually really serious that should be spread

#reblog - Self-explanatory

#doctor who - Whenever I’m going places in a TARDIS

#hollow knight - For those times when I decide to delve into Hallownest

#scp foundation - Anomalous activity goes here

ENJOY YOUR VISIT!

[the-larxist-manifesto]

The larxist manifesto ~ Greetings!

Welcome to my blog!! If you are reading this, you are probably one of my friends that I've linked to my new Tumblr blog. Blogging is a very new concept to me, so please bear with me as I find my voice and figure out formatting >w<

For as long as I can remember at this point, I've been typing long-winded rants on my computer about the random topics that are on my mind—from linguistics to video game reviews to venting about everyday annoyances. Until now, those were only available to myself in the form of my private journal. But after many Discord info dumps that I put way too much effort into, only to be scrolled off the screen in about five seconds of chatting, I've decided I wanted a more permanent and creative way of sharing my thoughts and interests with those I care about! So basically, if you've enjoyed me rambling on about random stuff in the past, you will probably like this blog :}

Oh, you're wondering about the banner and profile picture? The pfp is based on the box art from a game called Doga de puzzle da Puppkupu, an obscure PS1 game by a now-defunct game company called Argent. This company and the mystery around its existence has been a deep fascination of mine for years now. I've created a lot of stuff based on their properties, like my original character (OC) named Taizen Asobi. He's a Nintendo DS game case with eyeballs :3

My banner image relates to Argent as well—a welcome image from the old home page for the company, which also developed one of my favorite DS games of all time, Clubhouse Games. Don't worry, I'll explain all the lore more thoroughly at a later time.

As of right now, one of the main focuses of this blog will be the project mentioned in the previous post: GameGirl28. This challenge kicked off the whole idea of me blogging in general. I play a lot of video games. I love them as an art form, a social activity to connect people, and a fun pastime. Often, I will step away from playing a game and find my head absolutely swimming with commentary and criticism and highlights and funny moments to reflect on. Until now, I usually did all this reflection alone. But now, I have an outlet to share it all with my loved ones! Since this challenge is driven by a specific purpose and will indeed challenge me a lot, it's the perfect way to kick off my little internet journal here.

Also, I hope this will be a way to chat more with folks about stuff I'm interested in! So if you're particularly curious about the topics or what I have to say about them, always feel free to reach out to me! Anything from a Lincoln-Douglass style debate to hyper fangirling over shared media interests, I'm down for it!!

Get ready to crack open the manifesto! Flip through the pages of my deranged mind that the world wasn't quite prepared to witness... until just now. You are no longer safe from the influence of larxism. You will convert.

<3

[gamebunny-advance]

Spite.

People that can only enjoy things through spite really baffle me.

For a while, I was following someone that ran a fanblog for something that I liked, but alongside reblogging fan art, every other original post they made was about how they would hate X, and that Y was better.

X and Y were any number of things relating to the subject of the blog, and the specifics of what they were aren't relevant to the discussion.

It wasn't that their criticisms were unfounded. They sometimes had legitimate gripes with a work, and I even agreed occasionally with some of the things they said. What bothered me is that conversely, they rarely talked about the things they did like unless it was in relation to the thing they didn't like.

It was never, "I like Y because ABC, and y'all should check it out too!" it was always, "X is horrible and bad, so I'm gonna consume Y instead!" or "At least Y is better than that trash X!"

It was just very tiring. I don't know what made them like that, but there was always a bitterness to their posts that always made me uncomfortable, especially in relation to what the blog was about. I would think a person running a blog like that would be more forward about positivity and love, but the impression I got was that they were purely motivated by spite.

But I tolerated it for a while because I liked seeing the reblogged posts and "X" was rarely something I was personally invested in. It was only recently that the "X" was actually something that I cared about that I finally decided to unfollow them. For the second time. I'd actually gotten sick and tired of this behavior long ago, but I decided to give them another shot, which they blew yet again.

I dunno. I know some people enjoy when others "spill the tea" or whatever (it seems like several of their followers enabled their behavior), and I'm not beyond hearing criticisms of a thing I like (I'm usually the first to make them). But I think I get the most enjoyment from people who also share the things they love because they love the thing, not because they hate something else.

It doesn't have to be an unconditional love, it just has to be earnest. I say all the time that being critical of the things you love is basically an essential part of truly appreciating anything in this world. But beyond the spite and criticism, I want to know that the person has something that they truly adore without it being tied to primarily negative feelings.

I just never got that from this person. There was never a post where they could gush about something without bringing something else down with it. I never sensed an earnest love from them.

But, maybe some people are just like that. Maybe their joy stems from venting their frustrations, and I can understand that. But their joy, is not my joy, and I just have a limit to how much spite I can take from one person before I just can't have them in my purview anymore.

[lazeecomet]

Ok I gotta vent about something.

There is this kid in the community discord server I moderate who is kind of annoying in the most kid way. He's 13 or 14 and has FOMO. Well call him M. He always want to know what the injoke means so he can do it too. He tries to insert himself into conversations he doesn't fully grasp.

He is desperately trying to fit in but in the most annoying way possible. It feels like he is trying to copy people and parrot their actions which comes across as very non genuine, rather then bring his own personality and interests. He's been in the server for 3/4 of a year and even though people have brought up the topic of music multiple times today I learned he played the marimba.

This is the setup for where I am going to vent. I was fine with all that previous stuff. There is a running joke that one of the server members (gonna call them A) is patient 0 for the spread and conversation to furries within the server. And on top of that there is an injoke where I have 100% accuracy in predicting if someone will turn into a furry.

Someone posted a video of a "how to make a fursona" in off topic and my reaction was basically to roll my eyes and be mildly annoyed that the conversation came back around to furries again.

M made a comment about how he was having to try so hard to resist watching the video. My reaction to that was 'RIP. If you have to restrain yourself you might actually be a furry. we lost another one to A's furry conversion beam.'

And usually when I make that joke people deny it. Being a furry is "cringe" and I openly make jokes about furries (mostly A because they can take it and have given me a lot of ammo over the years). It's only several months later do they show up with a protogen profile picture or something and prove me right

I estimated 8 months. it was like 5 minutes later where he flipped and decided to be furry. He then started to try and turn off topic into a place to workshop his fursona. I told him that this was NOT the place for that. He made a thread and I'm annoyed with it.

But I really don't think he's all too serious about this and just doing it to try and fit in. It doesn't feel like an expression of a personality but only a surface level understanding. He wanted a fursona commissioned without having any references or any ideas of what his species was. When he eventually did pick one he wanted other people's ideas on what color pattern it should have. All the while he was trying to get other people to do art for him (everyone refused) because he was bad at drawing. I doubt his sona has a backstory or even a description. And this is just the start

He's been trying to turn the thread into a furry zone. He petitioned the mods to add a furry bot to the server (denied) then to have furry themed custom commands (denied) and then settled in trying to start furry themed discussions. He is also rather taken back by how horny some of those discussions turn and how quickly they do. I keep having to join the thread to moderate and then leave it so I don't get pinged by it

And this is the part I am really annoyed with. This is a PG-13 community server for a videogame. The channels we have forster the convos that will happen. There is no NSFW channel. If there was people would feel like it would be OK to post that. By the same logic there is no furry channel. There are a lot of furries in the server, but giving them a channel will result in furries doing what furries like: roleplay and photos. The furry baseline for SFW is not the same outside the community and I could easily see a RP lean into eRP or photos become explicit. And I don't want to have to sift though that.

So I am very annoyed at this one kid who is being a furry to fit in (and kinda missing the point of having a sona and being a furry in the first place) has created a thread where he is trying to foster furry centric conversation but can't handle it when it inevitably leans horny

I am gonna shutter that thread in a week. He should have his sona worked out by then and I think by that point everyone else will be kind of tired of his shit

[wanderer-w00lf]

This comic and my experience

Look, this one looks familiar.

Oh boy... this one is a long one.

Where do I start...?

Maybe you guys need a bit of context real quick. Some time ago, a user called, Play tops decided to gather a couple of artist and ask about making a comic all together for the fandom. I was part of them, and of course I said yes. Everything could be quite normal there, like, we made the comic and that's it... right? well...

He told us several times that he was gonna help too, but when we where distributing the works, there was always an excuse. At fisrt it was: "I don't have that software" well, I worked the fist pages in a software he told me he had, so he could help, but he didn't; then he would always answer with a solid "I don't how to do that", like:

Script? NO

Storyboard? NO

lineart/inking? NO

Colours? NO

He would always said that he was feeling "left out" while I tried everything to make him part of it, but he would always deny.

After a lot of negatives and weeks holding it, I was growing tired, and this guy started to say.

"I don't have time" as his excuse.

Now, I know we as artist usually don't have that much time, especially because most of us are in college or highschool, but, this kept prolonging for months.

And, you wanna guess something? I was busy too, yet still, I had to find time however I could to make some drawings because, With only studying is not enough. If I'm an artist i need to have art in my accounts and portfolio, so yeah, his excuses where making me feel like I was wasting time.

One day I simply decided It was enough.

You all don't know, because basically I haven't shared it yet, but I have a lot of other comics I did in the past that for one reason or another I never finished or plublished, right now I have a few of those in an undefined hiatus, so feeling yet another one was going into the exact same direction made me angry.

So basically I started to working without him. I made everything, storyboard, lineart, colour, text. I was determined to finish it just out of pure spite. Spite to whom? to life, to Play tops, to every "friend" who ask to work together to finally leave without any warning and or response. I did it out of pure spite because I was tired and this comic was not gonna be another comic I put into the drawer in an undefined hiatus. So yeah.

My good pal Renzo was the other guy who wanted to make the comic and he was the greatest moral support in all of this; he made the script obviously, but he made it clear to me that he could not help me in another way, but if he could he was gonna try, and that was more than what playtops was giving us. He did help me all the way.

It was hard, and even tho I enjoyed every page I finished, that made me feel even more frustrated, because, the three pages that took us like 5-6 months, where completely finished in a week, all by myself.

At the end I finally finished the two stories and the relief I felt was, overwhelming. I "returned" the projetc to playtops because if someone else wanted the sequel they had to ask him.

And that's the story.

I kinda decided to remain a bit anonymous because, well I didn't wanted the people to say I was "Stealing" Playtop's work, and because I didn't want to fight in social media. You all people are toxic AF.

This is not a cancel post or anything like that; this is more like:

A me venting everything.

I usually remain silent no matter what, because that's how I am.

But, if i'm venting right now it's because I indeed have a motive behind.

Basically what I'm asking here is... You all want this comic in Tumblr?

If you don't I still have a couple other things I'm working on. I love this fandom I still have plenty more ideas I want to make and share with all of you.

[toxicslimemutant]

Vent art... I guess

TW for sensitive mental health related stuff (and also me rambling... a LOT)

idk if this is the kind of thing I should be posting but fuck it, we ball

i was gonna try and draw a vent art thing earlier bc i wasn't feeling too great but instead it turned into me doing this. i tried drawing something but I didn't like it so instead i decided to write a bunch of stuff on the page to vent out my feelings (starting with the words "i can't fucking draw" bc that's what I was trying to do in the first place)

all the words i wrote down are my thoughts/feelings that i've had in my head, some more than others. and u can't completely make out everything bc a lot of it is written over top of each other. but most of the stuff i wrote down are self-deprecating and very negative and troubling.

I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT VERY CLEAR THAT I HAVE NO INTENTIONS TO KILL OR HARM MYSELF IN ANY WAY!!!!! i am saying this because a lot of the things written in the photo above have something to do with me wanting to harm myself or saying that i want to die. and those are NOT things i actually want to do to myself but it is written so frequently above because it's not uncommon for me to think some of those things.

i have a lot of these thoughts on a daily basis and i don't really know why. i'll even repeat some of these phrases in my head usually when i'm upset, frustrated, mad, tired, fed up with something, when i'm doing something i don't wanna do (like work) or when i can't do something.

my mental state has been like this for a while now and there isn't much i can do about it. not that i really know what to do about it anyway. but i figured it was better to get it out someway rather than keep it in my head bc that's not really doing much for me.

over the past like 2 years now i've been trying to get some help but it hasn't really been easy to get the ball rolling on that. and it's been especially difficult for me for the past several months now because i have been more then ready to start tackling all my mental issues and issues in general but i haven't been able to start doing that yet. so i guess i just kinda feel like i'm stuck and i have absolutely no clue what to do about it.

anyway this vent piece was just me trying to do literally ANYTHING that could potentially help me and i think it did help at least a little bit. i know it's not really gonna fix or change anything but at the very least it better then sitting and doing absolutely nothing for who knows how many times now.

thank you to anyone who actually bothered to read all this lol

here, have a cookie u earned it :) 🍪

[md3artjournal]

1/12/2023. So I've been working on this drawing since 1/8/2023. Started as an analog doodle in my sketchbook, then scanned, and have been using it to practice/learn how to work with vectors in Krita.

And I've learned a lot! I feel like I'm finally starting to get the hang of digital drawing!

---even though I still don't have a proper stylus. x_x; I can't see what I'm drawing behind my cheap stylus's giant nib, but using it whenever I can still saves my hand from pain. My laptop actually came with a stylus, but it uses AAAA batteries, that ran out, I can't find them at any of my usual stores, and I'm still a chicken about buying things online. x___x;;; I've never even bought anything from Amazon, to this day, for goodness sakes! x~x;;;;;;;

But my problem right now is that despite feeling proud of the progress I've been making, learning vectors and Krita, it's still not completely satisfying or fulfilling. I feel like I have a strange, unsatisfied itch in my hands from not drawing since 1/8/2023. I mean, what I've been doing digitally for the past few days should count as drawing, but my hand muscles feel like I haven't been drawing at all. Whatever I've been practicing, it's completely different from the need to draw that my hand muscles need.

So I've been considering ending this drawing at this state. Back when I decided to turn my analog doodle into a chance to practice digital drawing to my fullest extent, I told myself I'd practice all the details that I barely do anymore in my analog drawings, because I draw too small, I've been too focused on finishing a doodle everyday, I run out of time, etc. But drawing digitally allows me to make my tiny sketches large enough to add shading, highlights, and other details. So I wanted this drawing to be my chance to practice that. I wanted to be able to take my time, come back to a single drawing, multiple times, and really WORK it---adding onto it, adjusting it, modifying it, waiting for all my ideas to surface, instead of just rushing to get it done. But I don't know how much longer I can hold out not drawing in the way my hand muscles need.

But after writing that out, I guess the clear solution is to concurrently draw a bunch of analog stuff for my hand muscles, while keeping this digital drawing as a work in progress, until after I've added all those details I said I'd practice. I guess that's what I'll do.

Feel kind of bad for not posting it yet though. Because even at this state so far, I like it. But that's what I have my art journal blog for: work in progress pics and random art venting.

[daydreamerfox]

SKETCHTEMBER #18

Aiko and JJ (@theprofessionalpromptmaker's OC) having their regular girl's night out!

I was working on a few commissions, drawing OCs for other people, which by the way, if you're interested, just DM me about it! My commissions are open and I can make drawings like this for you too!

[Day 1] [Day 2] [Day 3] [Day 4] [Day 5] [Day 6] [Day 7] [Day 8] [Day 9] [Day 10] [Day 11] [Day 12] [Day 13] [Day 14] [Day 15] [Day 16] [Day 17] [Day 18]

Do you wanna be tagged on the next ones? You can reply to this post saying so (wether you want to be tagged in all my art or just the sketchtember posts)

More about them and the sketch + close ups under the cut!

Aiko and JJ met each other because of Demro and became really close to each other eventually. JJ has a very strong hunt instinct, which means he usually have fun joining Aiko whenever she decides to hunt or anything like that. They also frequently go to bars or each other's place just to drink and talk about their lives (just, you know, vent out to each other and share the tea)

About the sketch: I knew I wanted a more dynamic pose than the ones I've been making for their interactions and I've noticed my anathomy wasn't the best, mostly because I didn't have much reference, and when I did try to look for references I'd take ages to find one for each character that would make sense in the situation I wanted. So for once I decided to use the 3d models in clip studio ent it was way easier than I was expecting... I'm still learning how to use this software, but every time I find something new about it I love it more, honestly Sounds very much like I'm trying to sell it to other people, but it's just me trying to justify to myself why I spent money on it instead of just sticking to the free softwares out there (they're really good too, don't get me wrong, csp just has a lot of different options, though) Anyway, art software ramble aside, I really liked how this sketch turned out!

The close ups:

[tea-the-not-understanding]

So, after the break down and crying all my tears out. I decided to write this out as a warning to others on what I've been through and all.

So from what happened, I joined the server with the animator that inspired me. I love their art, character designs and animations. They are like my inspiration and they make an original specie and a server on discord.

I joined it with the intension of designing a character specie because the only thing I find it fascinating that the character are birthed by the tree. Not the first time I heard that idea before and in fact, I own some character that were made by the tree. But I join it anyways because want to get along with the creator.

I got banned, At first, I got 1 warning because in the commission, they need examples and I send it. At the moment the folder are full so I post the names and had no idea I send the rip off character from it, the only thing they have from the specie is the wings on the mouth. That's my 1st warning and I deleted it. Now, The warnings you'll get is 3 strike.

I got banned after I receieve the text from one of the kindest mod in the server, he said that I got banned for sending NSFW video, Sending vent art in the server and bringing my horrible friend into the server.

Before you point finger at me, I have a defence and reasons for it.

The vent art - I usually post it in the other art server at the point I kinda got casual about it, I forgot that there were the rule in the server. (I delete the picture after someone mention it) The NSFW video - it not what you think, It a clip from the movie where the guy flex his muscle and make everybody weak from it. I find it funny and I had no idea there were minors. I did not post it in the server, it in the apart conversation with just 5 people in it, and to me, I see them as adults and when they mention about it, I showed them. Now, another moment is in the server, My friend were about to do it and in fear, I post it before he does so he wouldn't do it. He love the idea of the species and I don't want him to get banned so I took the bullet for him. I deleted it afterward because it not appropriate and it the server with many peoples in it, leaving it is something I hated to do. PS : my friend just laugh about it, I blocked him btw. He's horrible. Adding friend - they were my friend I found on Tumblr, They were interested and wanting the link to the server, So I let him joined. After I got banned, he admitted that he trying to get the mod to banned him for the lol because he have no interest in the species.

Now, That's not only the first thing about it. The second thing that I probably crying about is the fact I made many characters that I am very attached to it, not only that, I buy the character with my own saving money for it. The creator don't like the idea of my owning it anymore so instead of repay me or give my money back, they told me to get rid of it.

Now at the moment of my depression and break down, I do not want to make them more disappointed at me more so I give the character that I cherished and loved away to the people I love to hand around in the server. They were happy about it, even I am sad I still smile that I made their day better... Well, one of the person told me and I am glad, another person, I do not know if they are happy or uncomftable because the mods and the creator hate me so much pretty much...

Now I am working on redesigning because they blacklisted me and I cannot make their species, but I am still going to keep the concept on some of them. I take this advice from someone I trust and someone I admired. I will not mention their name to keep them from getting in trouble. I have the rights to own the character I bought and when the creator don't want me to own it anymore or pay me back, it a scammed so not only I been banned for something accidental, not knowing about it and not my own will. I will just continues living my own life and ignore them now that I know they were like this.

Another thing that I am very upset is that the fact I pour my hard work and my heart into working so much just to get to own at least ONE character... it took me month to finally own one.

So this is as my warning for someone who's going to joined the original species server or community. It is toxic and not as fine as it is.

So have my character from before and after! The left is the species and the right is the redesign and I love him even more then before. ^^

[tryst-art-archive]

Before I put the dA descript, allow me to add the context that "Shout It Out" was an art meme that went around dA in late '07. The idea was to make vent art where you got the things you don't usually say out of your system, using a particular format.

To summarize: When I tried to do the Shout It Out meme, I short-circuited. I sat on this thing for months (which is evidenced in the archive, too) because I couldn't decide about putting the things I wanted to shout into the piece.

I remember I filled several pages of a large sketchbook with things to write into the piece. I haven't looked at it in a few years, but I remember the last time I did, it was pretty triggering stuff. It was very raw, and I was in a lot of (emotional) pain when I wrote it.

The choice to post this as a loud silence was very deliberate, although obviously I waffled about it. Whatever I may say in the description, the loud silence was supposed to be emblematic of how much I felt I couldn't say, for fear of upsetting the people around me or because I inevitably wouldn't be understood. In some cases, it was a physical inability. There have been many times when I've tried to express something vulnerable only to have my throat physically close up and prevent me from doing so.

I'm not going to look for the sketchbook write-up of what was supposed to be here, but I do have some of the notes digitized. A selection of those are below the cut.

But this is the most important one: "I almost wish I had been born a gay man; I don't know why."

"I HATE SCHOOL but I'm an HONORS STUDENT so I'll go to college anyway."

"I HATE MYSELF and have for a long time."

"I MAKE UP EXCUSES and BLAME OTHERS for my FAILURES and SHORTCOMINGS because I can't bear to shoulder the responsibility myself."

"I am FUCKING HORNY all the FUCKING TIME."

"I fear abandonment."

"I GAVE UP on art for the same reason I QUIT gymnastics and swimming when I was LITTLE; IT STOPPED COMING EASILY TO ME."

"I FEEL GUILTY about being UNHAPPY."

"I NEVER LOVED another person UNTIL I MET MARE; that's why she's my best friend."

"The PLAY Pippin SCARES ME BECAUSE IT DESCRIBES ME."

"I am convinced that I'm the only person who feels as I do despite all evidence to the contrary."

"I LIKE MEN, but I feel like no one knows it."

"I AM AFRAID TO POST THIS; I AM AFRAID TO WRITE IT DOWN. For every one thing I say, I have left 3 things unsaid."

"No one can "read" me. I put on so many acts and masks that I am not sure who I am or when I'm really being sincere."

"I am self-conscious about everything; I fear being disliked."

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY 'NO,' and I KNOW that it will get me in trouble one day."

"I can't draw or write anything pornographic because it embarrasses me."

"I AM INSECURE, but nobody seems to know it."

"I WANT TO LOVE SOMEONE ENOUGH TO LIVE FOR THEM; Dying would be too easy."

"I AM EASILY OVERRIDDEN; I AM A DOG ON A LEASH"

"KNOW THAT WHEN I PROTEST, I AM FIGHTING MYSELF TO DO SO."

"PLEASE KNOW WHAT I WANT AND NEED because I cannot make myself say even if it's something as simple as a glass of water."

"I think that I will be a terrible mother. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE A DAUGHTER."

"LET ME SLEEP UNTIL WE GET TO THE GOOD PARTS!"

"I MAKE THINGS HARD FOR MYSELF and I don't know why."

"I REFUSE TO LET PEOPLE SEE ME cry."

"I want you to think 'There is a girl who truly hurts, but, oh, see how she triumphs despite!' in admiration."

"I don't know what I'm going to do next year"

"I feel OUT OF PLACE with other people; that's why I'm antisocial."

"I DO NOT BELIEVE IN AN AFTERLIFE AND I NEVER HAVE not even when I was small."

"LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SPEAK, GODDAMIT!"

"I wish I were OMNISCIENT."

"I REGRET almost everything."

"I DON'T EXPECT TO EVER BE HAPPY, I ONLY HOPE I WILL BE."

"I LOVE VIDEOGAMES AND WISH TO BE RECOGNIZED FOR IT."

"I fear blindness, deafness, old age, balding, and becoming ugly. I fear forgetting."

"I almost wish I had been born a gay man; I don't know why."

"I like girly, pretty shoes. I never buy any because I know I'll wear them all of once if I ever wear them at all."

"I like songs that RELEASE ME."

"I have trouble expressing myself."

"I miss my childhood, but I also realize that I've romanticized it in my head."

"I believe people are basically rotten at heart."

"I HAVE DOUBLE STANDARDS."

"Without people to say 'It's time for dinner,' I probably wouldn't eat just out of laziness."

"I'm afraid that I'm annoying."

"I’M SHY. I don’t do half the shit I want to.I’M A GOOD GIRL. I don’t do half the shit I want to.I’M A GOOD LIAR. So I get away with doing the half that I do do."

"iBottle."

"NO MATTER WHERE I GO, I FEEL LIKE I DON'T BELONG."

"I'm afraid to say 'I wish...' because I'm worried that my wish will come true."

[indigo-villin]

Don't know which blog this will go to so warning this is a vent of sorts, mostly a rant, but either way. Also a bit of swearing at the end

So I've been on toyhouse getting some OCs lately as I do here and there randomly, some for free, some through trade, a couple through some raffles, the whole sha-bang. Going through the toyhouse freebie trade section is... rough sometimes.

I had to block and mute a few people cause of some of their general OC "rules" like one person saying if you have over 150 characters but under like 50 they wouldn't give you any (it was like 150 is "okay" and 200 was too many, but an account with 50 or less was just someone "having a second account to hide the truth" that they would allegedly have like over 800) and it's like... wow I'm sure you're fun to have around on the OC storing website... (severely sarcastic here for those who need tone tags, i don't know them well enough to use sry)

Now that person was like the worst, but there were others that said no one over 150/200/ no "new accounts" or accounts with more than 10 pages of OC/etc etc.

And like... as someone who LOVES making designs on picrew and saving them cause their cute and loved trading/getting OCs from friends in my DA days and still doing that occasionally where friends still gift me OCs cause they don't want them I can't understand this thought process, how does me having x amount of OCs I love regardless of how much art those characters have effect you? I don't get an OC from x person and wait til their rules say I can trade them again and shove them back into the trade listings, I keep them. Unless I genuinely lose complete interest in the design and character I keep them. I'm not big into undertale anymore, but I still have EVERY SINGLE skeleton OC from that time and have gotten more past that, cause many of them don't involve UT and have their own lives outside of it. I still have my MLP OCs for mlp g4, most of those OCs have full stories unwritten, with little to no art, but I still keep them. I don't make any stories for those OCs either, their stories are written and done with mostly minuet things being undecided rather than actual story being untold, but I can't write stories easily so these kinda people would assume I'm just hoarding good OCs, letting them "collect dust" which like... that's such a load of bullshit, like seriously they can't collect dust, they're not real they're designs I made in highschool or got in hs.

It's so weird to say that people who want to give their OCs away are kinda elitist with it, but a lot of people are.

Also if you're on th never use the wta/dta/game trade listing, like don't look for an OC there, stick to the normal freebie section. Again with the whole elitist thing, a LOT of adopts in the first one are old, never get sent to any one, or the rules for a wta are quite literally write a novel to maybe get the OC if the current owner decides you're in their good graces (this is not me being salty I have literally seen this happen SEVERAL times while browsing). DTAs are also usually incredibly old or are built on a raffle/ after x amount of time they'll decide on/spin for a winner adn many of the older ones have ended with nothing happening, just silence adn people leaving it to rot.

Anyways sorry for the mega rant I just wanted to scream into the void about something I'm not bringing to the website itself in case some rando decides to call out post me for being a "petty hoarder" or something dumb (yes people have had call out posts on there written about them "being hoarders" and such)...