#i used to watch my dad play it all the time

[charmed-asylum]

Girl u taking words out my hod damn mouth huh girl mmm u and I can do a pod cast w way this chapter went. Side note honey boo boo I know the feeling girl it be hard af you wanna just read your stories but got a 15 page paper due by Monday on some boring ass philosophy topic. ( and my ass planning on going to get my doctrine) 🤧😪🤧😪🤧😪🤧😪🤧😪🤧

Honestly idk who I’m more mad at. The father or Ward. “ No one ever took you seriously anyway” Is Rafe really even the dark one ( on fence but he sure as hell a manipulative perk) if you got both a father who okay you might think your doing the right thing which in all turn for you to be a fuckin cop out and wait til your dead dirt still freshly laid to do this to your legacy to your blood to your daughter or Ward who can’t put any respect to it simple more emotions what if this was Sarah or W who had this happen to you but no no u don’t. I love that while it’s stats: dark!grey!rancher!rafe x bimbo!cowgirl!reader, the reader didn’t seem to bimbo in 1st part.. in all it’s just not the right time for this but damn u make us so invested into this story. Like” Three bedrooms, a wrap-around porch where you’d once dreamed of watching your children play in the yard as you rocked in your chair, and the old, red barn that had weathered time alongside them” so sad because maybe she can have this with Rafe but but it’s not gonna be the same because of a man selfish and lack of respect for a woman or another then themselves it gonna be twist with a sour tastes Ward lit came in busing in like he own it like shit bring a grief counselor or something, You knew you couldn’t lose it, but you weren’t sure how to keep it either. This statement kept repeating its self over and over again. She said it he said I’m sure as hell know dad thought it but is it true sorry but what can Ward or even Rafe know about the land compare to over . ( let me stop my podcast on this one part alone lol) I do want to ask she talks about her mom a lot how long was she alive before he died to have so much confidence on the dad and men oh they can’t be bad daddy care about me and mommy this or that honey your dad was a man 1st dead beat on the horizon second. Shit she could have stay at college hello or something.

“Why do you think he sent me?” He smiled devishly, “I’m the one you gotta worry about, darlin’.” 

That got me in a chock hold like man again for a bimbo reader she got to much smarts on her to be a true bimbo but I gotta say trying to escape to a shack and getting bored and coming back with a daisy crown and a bundle of flowers hehe.

“I didn’t forget your horse,” He spoke calmer than you expected, though his tone still had an edge to it, “She’ll follow. Unlike you, she seems to have a decent amount of common sense…This wasn’t the escape you wanted. Not even close

What a piece of shit huh

I wonder if this was first time he saw her when he was following her: And maybe that was true in some ways, but you were more than he had anticipated. He followed you, watched as you handled the horse with ease, and found himself intrigued. Your confusion, innocence, even your stubbornness drew him in like a moth to a flame. Also so you telling me he waited til she got bored went pick a bunch of flowers and made a crown til he decide to say something lol I also do wonder why this like Rafe said this is like a slap in face with a fish deal for him or this a test also I’m worried when he said this : But perhaps his father had seen exactly what Rafe was seeing now. You were raw, so unpolished, and that meant you could be shaped. 

In all he stated he how power and this idea of to be shaped idk even if he does manipulate her she obviously has more common sense then they think does she do it right mostly no but I hope and feel won’t be so easy. But I can see away he can get to her way Ward is with him. No lie he play his shitty hand right she might give him a pass or two. —> Proving himself to Ward was a constant battle, every choice scrutinized, every misstep noted. To run the ranch one day, Rafe needed to show he could manage it all, the land, business, and now a wife. Building a home and keeping you in line was just another test.

Okay so John B works for the ranch oooo ooo ooo. Idk but I’m thrilled about this. Also can u imagine the fit he had lol

Also is he upset this was more worried about the horse then him or she talk to John B in general: Rafe only glared at the worker, jaw tight. 

What a perv: Please, that made Rafe brow furrow. Rafe took the opportunity to cop a feel, of course, he had to know exactly what he was working with. You were his future wife, after all, “Rafe! I don’t like being upside down!” idk I feel he so all over the place you mad but 1st chance you get to touch her u do . You get mad she talking to a boy and mostly what he call having brat behavior

Huh that whole car scene had me crying and throwing a fit huh huh huh I think W gonna be her new bestie and a reminder for Rafe. Fuckin manipulated the fuck out of Herve this shit mmm mm mmmmmm !!!

“To your room,” He spoke low and firm. There hadn’t been any rough grabbing of your limbs or unwanted rides on Rafe’s shoulder since your kiss in the car. You hadn’t fully let you guard down but you preferred when Rafe was calm, and so you remained calm too, “You can settle in.” Because it’s after that and the other moments yeah he still him but idk more he gonna be w her I think it’s gonna see it change to a different vibe.

Also u know he love playing w her and with this proud love for her daddy girl u about to get a whole new daddy girllllll : Whiskey and mint, “You always did what your Daddy said, right?” 

Hate me but that talk about wild horse idk idk but huh i feel hear me out that a threat andddddddd a challenge and maybe ( smack lips) him saying he turn on.

Damn damn damn I hate it bc lets be real we know as rafe drew lovers that he soooooooo bad so bad so naughty so huh all these things and still like a sour candy we go for another huh ( dramatic fall to a chair) damn damn damn that oh u want another kiss we’ll get doll up for me shit smh he gonna do that to her and it was her 1st man o man let him realize that shit. He gonna be baby oil in his hand with lighted candle and some RB music in background fuckin ready . We screw we screws.

You stared, dumbfounded and frozen until the young rancher casually turned and walked out of the room. Your fists clenched at your sides as a storm of emotions swirled inside you, anger and fear. One emotion simmered quietly beneath the surface, unwelcome and disorienting. Anticipation.

rough hands, soft chains [1] r.cameron

[warnings] dark!grey!rancher!rafe x bimbo!cowgirl!reader, arranged marriage, rancher au, manipulation, size difference, future smut, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

A/N: This is an au I'm trying out where Kildare County is actually in Montana and all the pogues and kooks exist within a ranching community. Hope you enjoy!! I would really appreciate feedback, reblogs are most appreciated!

In which your dying father struck a deal with Ward Cameron, he promised the family land in exchange for your safety. But protection comes with a price, and that price is Rafe Cameron.

word count: 5k

rafe cameron masterlist

After the funeral, you flopped down on the old leather couch in your living room, absently twirling a lock of your hair as you stared up at the cracked ceiling. Your black dress, meant for the sweltering summers, fell just below your knees. You’d paired it with a shawl you found tucked away in your mother’s dresser, a pretty, soft thing with little patterns you didn’t understand, but it smelled like her, so it felt right.

People at the funeral said you looked “so grown up” now, which filled you with a sense of pride. They said nothing about the dirt under your nails from wandering around the yard barefoot earlier that morning or the way your mascara smeared from crying too much. No one ever took you seriously anyway. 

The quiet of the house was deafening, pressing in at you at all sides. The lack of his presence weighed on you. He’d built every corner of this house, your mother painted every wall, and you were grateful for the life they’d built you. Three bedrooms, a wrap-around porch where you’d once dreamed of watching your children play in the yard as you rocked in your chair, and the old, red barn that had weathered time alongside them. You knew you couldn’t lose it, but you weren’t sure how to keep it either.

A loud knock at the front door made the house shake and snapped you from your daze. It was not the knock of a kind neigbor delivering a sympathy caserole, the knock was firm and authoritative. You half expected the sheriff to be behind the door but instead found yourself staring back at Ward Cameron. 

You pushed back the curls that had fallen into your face. He stood before you, tipping his finest black cattleman hat with deliberate grace, lifting it from his head and placing it over his chest in a quiet gesture of respect. His square jawline was sharp, his striking blue eyes unflinching, and though the gray streaks in his hair hinted at age, they only added to his rugged handomenss. 

“Miss,” he greeted you smoothly, his voice as sharp as the crease in his shirt. He looked out of place here, too clean, too polished for the worn edges of your family’s ranch.

Your anxiety peaked, “Uh, hi. Can I help you?” You gripped the handle of the door tighter than you expected. 

“I think you know why I’m here.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s time we talked about your father’s arrangements.”

Arrangements? You shifted nervously, trying to make sense of his words. You knew your dad had debts, but it wasn’t like he told you all the details. You knew that a significant amount of your father’s debt was to Ward. It humiliated your father to lease the Cameron’s grazing rights but he only did it to keep the ranch afloat. Money and paperwork were never your thing, and your dad always said not to worry about it. “I—I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. I’ll figure out how to pay you back, okay?”

Although Ward wasn’t the tallest man, most people towered over you, and as he leaned in the doorway, you knew he had your stature in mind. 

Still, his smile was empty, “Why don’t we discuss this in your father’s office, hmm?” 

“Um, no thanks,” you said quickly, shaking your head. But before you could shut the door, his hand pushed it open with way too much ease. You stumbled back, your cheeks heating with embarrassment as he walked in like he owned the place.

“Excuse me! You can’t just barge in here!” you squeaked, hurrying after him, his expensive boots, tapping against the creaking floor of your home. 

He made his way down the downstairs hallway, barging into the room that not even your father wanted you to step in. Immediately as you stepping inside, a coldness touched you. he heavy oak desk sat like a monument to your father’s stubbornness, papers scattered across its surface in disarray. Just looking at it made your brain feel fuzzy. Ward moved behind it as if it were his own, his hands brushing against the chair’s worn leather.

“I offered to come speak to you, before all of this drama, but your father insisted I wait until he was gone,” Ward gestured to rickety chair that sat in front of the desk, “Sit.”

You ignored him, crossing your arms in stubborness, “What are you talking about?”

“Do you know how much exactly your father owes me? How much you’d be taking on?”

His words, like they had certainly intended to, made you feel stupid. Your father made sure you were uninvolved in the ranch’s finances and he had just passed this week, you hadn’t thought about entering his office and disturbing his things. 

You blinked, your mouth opening and closing. “Well… um… I know he owed some money, but he didn’t really tell me how much.”

“It’s more than the farm is worth, Y/N.”

The weight of his words settled heavily between you, thickening the already suffocating air in the room. You clenched your jaw, refusing to show any sign of the panic tightening in your chest. The farm, your father’s legacy, your mother’s dreams, was supposed to be yours to save.

“That can’t be right,” you said, though your voice wavered slightly. “My father would’ve told me if it was that bad.”

“Would he? It’s nothing you should’ve worried your pretty head about,” Ward continued, his eyes sharp and assessing, “We parents try to protect our children. But he was too prideful. Pride doesn’t pay the bills and banks don’t wait forever.”

“The bank–”

“The bank would’ve taken the entire property if your father hadn’t already signed the land over to me.”

Your heart sunk into your stomach at Ward Cameron’s words. Your breath hitched as you stared at him, trying to process what he’d just said. You shook your head in disbelief, “He wouldn’t do that.”

The land was the only piece of your father that you had left. A hundred acres that your family and only a few ranch hands tended to.There were dwindling amounts of livestock, mounting debts, but it was your home. Humble in comparison to the Cameron’s thousands of acres but it belonged to your family. Even if you were the only one left. 

“This all would’ve been easier for you if your father had explained all of this to you before. I think he was scared of you hating him.”

“I don’t understand.”

Ward’s expression didn’t falter. If anything, he looked almost bored with your responses, “We came to an agreement a year after his initial diagnosis. Instead of losing it to the bank, he would sign it over to me.”

“I promised to take care of you.” Ward’s words were slow, deliberate, as if he were explaining something to a child. “You’re unmarried, no prospects, and this place is a sinking ship. Someone was bound to take advantage of you eventually. You don’t have the resources to rebuild.”

“T-take care of me?” you stammered, your face scrunching in confusion.

“You’ll come live with my family for the time being. And eventually you will marry my son, Rafe.”

Your eyes went wild, “Are you crazy?”

Ward’s expression didn’t change. If anything, he looked even more smug. “This arrangement keeps the land in the family, ensures your safety, and gives you a future. You’re not equipped to handle this ranch on your own, Y/N. Your father knew that. I’m offering you a way out.”

You gaped at him, your thoughts spinning too fast to make sense of anything. “I… I want to talk to a lawyer or—or see his will or something!”

“You’re out of options. It’s either this arrangement or being out on the streets. I’m tossing you a lifeline.” 

 “I didn’t agree to this,” you said, your voice shaking with a mixture of anger and disbelief.

“No,” Ward admitted, standing and adjusting his cuffs. “But your father did. And a Cameron always honors their agreements.”

You wanted to scream, to tell him to leave and take his deal with him, but the weight of your father’s decisions pressed down on you. The debts, the ranch, your future—it was all tangled up in a web you couldn’t escape.

“I’ll give you until tomorrow to pack your things,” Ward said, placing his hat back on his head. “Rafe will come by to collect you.”

He turned and walked to the door without another word, leaving you standing alone in the office. The walls seemed to close in around you, and although you’d be crying for a week, you cried again. 

You thought that if you weren’t at the house when Ward’s oldest son came to collect you, they might just give up and leave you be. Maybe you’d slip through the cracks of their plans, vanish into the quiet of the countryside. You could disappear for a little while and return in a few days. It would be rough surviving outside but you could make it on your own. You’d packed a small bag of essentials and took Juliet, the chestnut-colored mare that had belonged to you since your fourteenth birthday.

“Okay, Jules, we’re gonna go on a little adventure,” you whispered as you fumbled with her saddle. 

Her large, liquid-brown eyes blinked at you with trust as you led her down the south path, the one behind your family’s ranch, overgrown from years of neglect. You left before the sun had a chance to rise. You didn’t want Ward Cameron or his scary son to find you, after all.

You tried to dress for comfort. Your long jeans would keep you warm, and you layered a jean jacket over a soft white cotton shirt. Perched atop your head was your trusty white cowboy hat, its wide brim offering protection from the sun, taming your unruly curls, while keeping your face shielded.

Juliet made a snorting sound, and you patted her neck. “Don’t worry, girl, we’ve totally got this. Like, what’s the worst that could happen?” You glanced back at the ranch, its dark outline fading behind the trees. 

You mounted Juliet after deciding the direction you were going to travel in. You wanted to be much farther away by the time the sun came up. The air was cool and crisp, a reminder of the coming morning. You looked behind you although you were sure no one was following you yet. 

The path twisted and turned. “Okay, so if we head toward the old fishing shack by the river, we can stay there for, like, a day. Nobody’s used it in forever.” You spoke out loud, pretending that Juliet could respond. “I think it’s... that way.”

You continued down the path in the direction you remembered the fishing shack to be located. The sun rose slowly, bringing light to the dark path. The shack was tucked away on the outskirts of the ranch, sitting in the bend of the river, most of it shielded by tall grass. The water flowed gently, the sound caressing your ears, it’s hues reflecting the red in the sky. 

A clearing sat nearby covered in wildflowers, the bright colors splashed against the muted landscape. You hadn’t ventured this far out since the previous spring and were surprised to see how the flowers had held their vibrancy, defying the chill of the cooler months. 

You hopped down from your saddle, taking Juliet’s rein before you tied her to a nearby tree, allowing her room to graze. The shack was small and weathered, and you rested on a rickety cot that you had to clear of cobwebs. It felt safe. At least for now. 

If only staying still was your strong suit. A few hours later, boredom quickly got the best of you. You could only talk to Juliet for so long and you’d failed several times to nap inside the dirty shack. The silence pressed in on you. You decided to wander out into the wild flower fields, tugging your cowboy hat low over your curls. The vibrant colors were calling to you. 

An hour later, you held a thick bundle flowers in your arm and a crown of daisies wrapped around your hat. Before you knew it, the shack was almost out of your sight and you faced a long trek back to Juliet. 

You didn’t hear him at first.

“Hell of a hiding spot.”

The deep drawl froze you in place. Slowly, you turned, heart pounding, your eyes landing on Rafe Cameron sitting tall on his horse a few yards away. His blue eyes sparkled with amusement, though the tight line of his jaw hinted at something darker.

Rafe’s quarter horse was even more intimidating. It’s coat was midnight black, sleek and imposing. There was a wild, untamed quality to him, a fire in his eyes that mirrored Rafe’s own.

“I… I was just…” You stepped back without thinking, the urge to drop your bouquet and bolt creeping up. You’d seen Ward’s son from across a room before, but no one had ever bothered to introduce you. Still, you knew enough from the whispers and rumors. He was wild, always getting into trouble with the Kildare County police, and everyone said he was gonna take over his dad’s power and influence one day. 

He was older than you remembered, more rugged, and definitely more muscular. His black button-up shirt clung to broad shoulder and his sleeves rolled up to reveal sculpted arms. A baseball cap sat atop his head, the bill slightly bent, with the Cameron Ranch sigil stitched on the front—an emblem of a stallion rearing. His light brown hair peeked from beneath it, slightly tousled. 

“You’ve been wandering around all morning. Half the town’s already seen you,” Rafe leaned forward slightly, eyeing you curiously, “If you were gonna run, thought you’d go a little bit farther.” You gained the courage to finish your sentence, “I wasn’t running …or hiding. And you can’t tell Mr. Cameron that.”

“Why do you think he sent me?” He smiled devishly, “I’m the one you gotta worry about, darlin’.” 

Your lips parted in shock and Rafe watched you take another step back. His jaw clicked before he swiftly hopped down from his horse. His heavy boots hit the dirt with a thud that seemed to echo, and you couldn’t help but notice the sheer size of him. Though he wasn’t much older than you, it was clear he towered over you, his presence demanding attention in a way that made your knees feel weak.

“I’m not coming with you,” You stated with all the strength you could muster, “It’s not right. You can’t make me.”

He stared back at you. Where Ward was bored by conversation with you, something about your Ward’s made Rafe’s eyes fiery, “And I guess you’ll make your living by what … selling flower crowns?” 

Your eyebrows furrowed. You hadn’t considered that an option. In fact, you hadn’t dwelled long enough on what you would do once Ward gave up on this arranged marriage nor did you have any idea of how to make the ranch profitable again. The idea seemed wrong. Flowers weren’t the key, were they? 

“I’m kidding,” Rafe spoke again after a moment of watching you reflect, “That’s a bad fucking idea. You know…I think your father might’ve been right about one thing in his life. You do need someone to look after you.” 

“You don’t know me,” You looked away, your face heating up with embarrassment, “And I don’t want to go with you.” 

A yelp escaped your lips as he started to close the distance between you, his long strides closing the gap in a matter of seconds. His smirk widened at your reaction, and quickly, you dropped your bouquet and made a run for the fishing shack. Rough hands easily snatched you up by your waist, lifting your feet off the ground, and making your head spin, “You’re real cute, darlin’,” Rafe drawled, hardly breakin a sweat as he dragged you back towards his horse. His grip on your waist was firm, unrelenting, and no matter how much you kicked or squirmed, it didn’t matter. He only hoisted you higher. 

Heavy boots crunched against the dirt. You could hear your breathing and the sharp pounding of your heart in your ears. You lost your hat and subsequently your flower crown in the struggle. Scared that you might spook Rafe’s horse, you found yourself succumbing to his force, letting him lift you onto the saddle. 

“Please, let me down,” You whispered, tears beginning to fall. Rafe was next, hoisting himself onto the black stallion, squeezing himself behind you. You were pressed against him so much that you could feel the flexing of the muscles of his stomach. An arm wrapped tightly around your waist. 

Rafe shushed you, and surprisingly, you felt him settle your hat back on your head. You hadn’t even seen him pick it up. You were never supposed to ride without a hat, that’s what your father had taught you. You barely had time to process it before he urged the horse forward, the powerful animal's hooves pounding the earth beneath you as Rafe held you tightly, “M-My horse, Juliet!” You remembered, panicked, “I won’t go without her, Rafe!”

“I didn’t forget your horse,” He spoke calmer than you expected, though his tone still had an edge to it, “She’ll follow. Unlike you, she seems to have a decent amount of common sense.” 

He kicked the horse into a gallop, the powerful animal responding instantly, the sound of its hooves hitting the ground like thunder in the otherwise still air. The wind whipped through your hair, stinging your face. You gripped the saddle tightly, to anchor yourself, despite knowing that Rafe’s grip was strong enough to keep you from flying. 

This wasn’t the escape you wanted. Not even close. 

Sure, he’d heard the rumors that you were a little …daft. And maybe that was true in some ways, but you were more than he had anticipated. He followed you, watched as you handled the horse with ease, and found himself intrigued. Your confusion, innocence, even your stubbornness drew him in like a moth to a flame. 

The last thing Rafe wanted was a wife. He resisted the way his father felt like he could stll make decisions for him. Rafe was losing with this arrangement. Your father’s hundred acres was nothing in comparison to what he family already had and would acquire. But perhaps his father had seen exactly what Rafe was seeing now. You were raw, so unpolished, and that meant you could be shaped. 

Once you were under the Cameron’s roof, Rafe had the power to do whatever he wanted. 

Proving himself to Ward was a constant battle, every choice scrutinized, every misstep noted. To run the ranch one day, Rafe needed to show he could manage it all, the land, business, and now a wife. Building a home and keeping you in line was just another test.

That morning, Rafe had never expected to chase after you on horseback. He had arrived in his truck, scouring the house for any sign of you, only to realize you were already gone. In frustration, he called John B., one of the Cameron ranch hands, and sent him to bring Trigger, his horse, to the Y/L/N ranch.

When you both returned, John B. was already there, waiting. Thunder cracked above, a sunny morning turning into a dreary afternoon. Rafe barked orders to ensure Juliet and Trigger were both stabled at the Cameron’s ranch.

He lifted you down from the saddle, his grip firm on your wrists before you could bolt. It only took a second for him to realize the urgency in your voice as you spoke, trying to talk to John B., who was already taking Juliet and Trigger’s reins. “She gets nervous when she’s in new places. She doesn’t like to be rushed,” Rafe overheard, catching the panic in your tone.

“Yes, ma’am. Don’t worry, I’ll take it slow with her,” John B. assured her although Rafe only glared at the worker, jaw tight. 

“Come on,” Rafe pulled your arm, “We’re leaving.”

Your small hands grabbed where he’d wrapped his hands around your arm. You dug your boots into the gravel in front of the house, “Wait, I don’t have everything. I-I need to grab some things,” Rafe’s gripped only tightened as his irritation grew. 

“You should’ve thought about that before you made me chase after you,” He took one more look at your teary-face before he snapped. Taking you home should’ve taken thirty minutes, not four hours. Without warning, he scooped you up over his shoulder, ignoring the surprised gasp you let out. 

Your legs kicked in the air, “Hey! Please put me down!” Rafe didn’t spare your house on John B. a second glance as he trudged over to his dark, blue truck. Please, that made Rafe brow furrow. Rafe took the opportunity to cop a feel, of course, he had to know exactly what he was working with. You were his future wife, after all, “Rafe! I don’t like being upside down!” 

“Scream all the way there for all I fucking care,” He muttered under his breath, his voice cold as he finally reached the truck and tossed you into the passenger seat.

Rafe sped off moments after he pressed start engine on the vehicle. You went quiet and he hoped to be alone with his thoughts, soothed by the soft pitter patter of rain on his windshield. Fifteen minutes down the road, he heard your breath hitch. He looked over to see you were staring straight head, eyes wide and wet with tears. Smudged mascara beneath your eyes. Your chest rose and fell rapidly and you clutched your hands tightly in your lap. Your lips were shaking, moving as if you were whispering something to yourself. 

Your legs began to jitter, restless, and Rafe looked away. He managed to tune out your obvious panic for nearly an entire minute. He had a rare feeling. One he didn’t fully understanding. The angel on his shoulder was telling him to reach out, to try and comfort you. He thought about what Wheezie might think if this was the disheveled state he brought his future wife to meet her in. He let out a quiet sigh, knowing it was only going to get worse as the reality of your situation set in.

“Hey,” He spoke without that sharp edge, channeling a voice he might use with his youngest sister, “I didn’t mean you’d never get your things. We can come back, when you’re more settled …And I’ll send someone to get all your keepsakes. Okay?” 

“Okay, okay, okay,” You repeated though your voice sounded empty, “Okay.”

He thought those would be the magic words but you hadn’t even turned to look at him. You were doing the same thing, shaking like a leaf, barely taking in enough breath, “Fuck,” Rafe cursed. He pulled over to the side of the road with a sharp jerk, the gravel crunching under the tires as the truck slowed to a stop. Without thinking, he shifted into park and turned to you.

Rafe needed to be more deliberate in his actions. He had eyes on him, his entire immediate family, and he wouldn’t have them thinking he couldn’t handle you. 

He tried to calm you, squeezed your hand, told you to breathe over and over again. Nothing. You were spiraling, letting your thoughts consume you. Rafe had been too rough. It was all too much too fast for you. He wanted to mold you, not break you. 

He leaned in, taking your face in his hands, and pressing his lips to yours. You went frantic but he only deepened the kiss. He held your hand and slowly felt your tension lesson. He entwined his fingers in yours and slowly felt you move your own lips against his. You tasted like cherries, dark red, and perfectly ripe. His hands moved to the back of your neck, his fingers pressing lightly, urging you to focus, to let go of the panic.

He pulled away only when you stopped your heaving. 

“You’re okay,” he murmured, his voice low and steady. “You’re okay now. Breathe with me.”

He waited for you to come back to him, cradling you there. You had no one left, Rafe realized in that moment, the truth settling heavily in his chest. And maybe that was why he couldn’t bring himself to be cruel. 

No, taking care of you wasn’t just an obligation, it was an important responsibility. One he’d shoulder completely. Whether you liked it or not, Rafe would make sure of it.

Rafe Cameron tasted like whiskey, with a faint hint of mint that lingered now even as you stood in the foyer of your new home, Tannyhill Ranch. The white house was sprawling and pristine, situated amidst of sea of green fields. Windows sparkled even in the storm that was coming down, and although the roof’s shingles were weathered, it was hard to believe the property had been there for more than a century. 

Workers, chefs and maids, bustled by but no one spared you or Rafe a glance despite the dry tears on your face and disheveled appearance. 

The interior was grand, the hardwoods polished until they shined, and the ceilings were higher than the ones at church. Everything screamed old money. You felt a hand on the small of your back, guiding you through the grand entrance hall and then up one side of a grand staircase. Portraits line the walls, serious faces, Camerons and previous owners of the estate. 

Their eyes watched you, “Rafe, where are we going?” You asked him quietly. 

“To your room,” He spoke low and firm. There hadn’t been any rough grabbing of your limbs or unwanted rides on Rafe’s shoulder since your kiss in the car. You hadn’t fully let you guard down but you preferred when Rafe was calm, and so you remained calm too, “You can settle in.”

Rafe led you down the upstairs hallway, stopping at one of at least six bedroom doors, and pushing it open. The room was breathtaking, a four-poster bed draaped in white linens, oak furniture, blue-white toile patterns, and large windows that overlooked the property. It was beautiful, yes, but none of this belonged to you. 

Your fingers absentmidnely traced the fabric of the bed’s comforter before you got a grip, turning around to say something in protest, “Don’t look at me like that,” Rafe interrupted, hands tucking into the front of jeans as if to give off a non-chalant appearance. The position emphasized the silvery belt buckle that sat on the middle of his waist. 

“I don’t want to live here,” You spoke softly, your voice still weak from all the crying. 

“I know,” Rafe continued, sounding exactly like his father, “Your father did though. You still love your Daddy, don’t you?” 

Rafe’s words made you think. Really think. Of course you loved your father. He was a smart man and he always did right by you and your Mother. However, deep down, this all still felt wrong. You stood there, caught between the beauty of the room and the unease of what you felt.

You nodded, “But–”

“But this is what he wanted, darlin’,” Rafe spoke in a way that carried a sense of finality. Rafe stepped closer and suddenly his body was a brick wall keeping you from leaving the room. His lips pulled into a smirk and he leaned down to speak in your ear, his breath fanning over your cheeks. Whiskey and mint, “You always did what your Daddy said, right?” 

“Yes,” You answered too honestly for your own good. 

“Now you’ll do what I say. That’s how it works. A young lady belongs to her father, and one day, after she grows up, she belongs to her husband,” He straightened up and you blinked your big eyes up at him. Slowly, your eyes traveled down to his lips, “You’ll thank me, one day.” 

Gently, he tucked a finger beneath your chin, lifting it even higher. You held your head exactly in the place he placed it, making something flicker in Rafe’s eyes. A heat bloomed in your core. You could only think about that kiss, your first one, despite the fact that he was one of the men completely ruining your life. 

“You ever seen someone break a wild horse?” 

His question caught you off guard, and your brows furrowed slightly as you searched his face for meaning. The smirk on his lips deepened, and his hand dropped from your chin.

“Takes patience. Takes strength. Takes knowing exactly when to push and when to pull back. But eventually, the horse figures out who’s in charge.” His blue eyes darkened, the intensity of his gaze pinning you in place, ”Out on the ranch, when we get a wild one. It’s my favorite thing to do. Watch em’ go from fighting you to starting to trust you. Really, there’s no point in fighting. The one’s who don’t submit, we don’t keep em’ around. They’re dangerous.”

“Oh,” You managed to say, shifting uncomfortably, “That sounds … hard.” 

Rafe chuckled in response, “Hard? Yeah, especially if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could, Rafe’s smirk returned, sharper now, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“You want me to kiss you again. I can tell.”

His words sent you stammering immediately, “No!” 

“Tell you what,” Rafe interrupted smoothly, ignoring your denial as if it hadn’t even registered. “If you settle in, get all dolled up for dinner…” His voice dripped with false generosity. “I’ll give you another one.”

You stared, dumbfounded and frozen until the young rancher casually turned and walked out of the room. Your fists clenched at your sides as a storm of emotions swirled inside you, anger and fear. One emotion simmered quietly beneath the surface, unwelcome and disorienting. Anticipation.

Reblog and let me know your thoughts to be added to the taglist!

[phallicide]

I'm smoking on that shit that makes humans jealous of gorillas. I'm pulling bones out skeletons that came from live fucking demons and their wives are jerking off watching me do it. I'm building hitachi's God is afraid of. I haven't paid my taxes in 7 years and brother I'm about to not pay them another fucking time. Every move I Make I make in earnest and if I'm not making it in earnest then I'm making it in my wife. I get pussy like presidents get felony charges. People made a fucking fragrance out of my diarrhea the formula sold for 5 million and eventually got stolen by a fucking cat burglar. I lick the paint off the walls and I hear my house moan. I turned into a cat just so I could experience what it's like to use my penis as a deadly weapon. I gave Steve Jobs a godlike prostate massage and he invented the iPhone 69. They all call me the only tranny who can outsuck a vampire. I'm doing Van Helsing shit to her clitoris as I'm driving a stake through her father's prenup. They call me The Wizard of Oz cause I smoke 5 oz. and turn green like the Emerald City. Escape from her dad's house after breaking her meat wallet like I'm playing escape from fucking tarkov. Every time I shit it's like chernobyl's going off again with ghosts. I'm like if the sun could walk the earth on a leash getting walked down the street by some 6 ft lesbian with a 12-in cock. I'm what Zeus jerks off to in the cuck chair. I ratatouilled Lyndon B Johnson into giving a presidential speech while spanking his hummus cannon. I'm a grower like Jack and his mother fucking beanstalk. I get stares at the nude beach. I walked in on God and took over fucking his wife. I'm like a hound dog. I fart and crack a window and it violates the motherfucking Geneva convention. I'm lousy in bed but only cause i got crabs. Don't fuck with me kid

[phoenixblaze1412]

Hellooo :D can i request dottore & segments reaction to dottores kid befriending scaramouche?

The first time Dottore caught wind of your so-called ‘friendship’ with Scaramouche, he nearly short-circuited.

“Excuse me?” he asked, peering down at you from behind his mask. His tone was cold, almost clinical, but there was a dangerous undertone to it. “You’ve been spending time with who?”

You blinked up at him innocently. “Scaramouche! He’s funny.”

Dottore sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “That is not the word I would use.”

The segments reacted in varying degrees of horror.

Alpha was the first to object. “Absolutely not. He is erratic and volatile. You are a child.”

Beta, always the most pragmatic, crossed his arms. “Statistically speaking, Scaramouche has a 97% chance of emotionally scarring them within a week.”

Theta, ever the instigator, smirked. “Or teaching them some very colorful vocabulary. I vote we let this happen just to see how unhinged it gets.”

Zeta frowned deeply. “I don’t like it.”

Omega, the strictest of the group, went straight to damage control. “We need to put a stop to this before it escalates.”

Unfortunately for them, ‘putting a stop to it’ was easier said than done. Scaramouche had already decided you were his little accomplice in mischief, and you found his biting sarcasm endlessly amusing.

The first time the segments actually saw you with Scaramouche, it was worse than they imagined.

Theta had been the unlucky one sent to ‘retrieve’ you from the courtyard. He found you sitting next to Scaramouche on a bench, giggling as he ranted about something or another.

“I mean, really, the incompetence I deal with daily is astonishing,” Scaramouche sneered. “Do you know what one of the recruits said to me today? ‘Maybe you should try being nicer, my lord.’ Can you believe that?”

You gasped dramatically. “No! That’s terrible!”

Theta watched in horror as you patted Scaramouche’s arm in mock sympathy.

Scaramouche huffed. “Exactly! If I were any nicer, they’d walk all over me.”

Theta slowly backed away before sprinting back to the lab. “We have a problem,” he panted as he burst into the room.

Dottore, who had been working on a new project, barely spared him a glance. “Define ‘problem.’”

“They’re—” Theta wheezed. “They’re enabling him.”

Silence.

Then, chaos.

Omega and Alpha staged an intervention. It failed spectacularly.

Omega knelt down in front of you, placing a firm hand on your shoulder. “Listen, you need to understand. Scaramouche is—” He glanced at Alpha, searching for the right word.

“A menace,” Alpha supplied helpfully.

Omega nodded. “A menace. He is not a good influence.”

You frowned. “But he’s nice to me.”

Alpha snorted. “That’s because you haven’t gotten on his bad side yet.”

“Well, maybe you guys are just mean to him,” you said with a shrug.

Omega’s eye twitched. “That’s not how this works.”

Meanwhile, in the background, Theta and Zeta were placing bets on how long before Dottore stepped in personally.

Dottore did, in fact, step in personally.

He found you in the same courtyard, this time listening intently as Scaramouche gave what seemed to be an impassioned speech about why authority was a joke.

“—and that’s why you should never blindly follow orders,” Scaramouche concluded, crossing his arms.

Dottore cleared his throat loudly.

You turned, eyes lighting up. “Dad!”

Scaramouche, however, groaned. “Ugh. You.”

Dottore’s lips curled into something vaguely resembling a smile. “Scaramouche.”

“I thought I told you to stop multiplying.”

“And I thought I told you to stop being insufferable.”

They stared each other down like two rival predators. You, completely unfazed, looked between them. “You guys argue like old men who plays chess.”

Dottore choked. Scaramouche made a face like he had just been personally insulted.

“…I’m leaving,” Scaramouche muttered, standing up. “Your kid is weird.”

Dottore exhaled slowly before turning back to you. “Why do you insist on spending time with him?”

You tilted your head. “Because he listens to me.”

That gave Dottore pause. He studied you carefully, noting the genuine happiness in your expression. Scaramouche was, objectively, a terrible influence—but he had never seen you this animated before.

“…Very well,” he said at last, much to Omega’s absolute horror.

“You’re allowing this?” Omega hissed later that evening. “After everything we discussed?”

Dottore hummed. “For now.”

Because, as much as he loathed to admit it, Scaramouche had one redeeming quality: he made you smile.

And for Dottore, that was enough… even if it meant suffering through Scaramouche’s presence.

Though that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make the Harbinger’s life just a little difficult in return.

[captain-sodapop]

The Winchesters: A Post-Mortem

Endings are hard.

I’ve been dicking around, and as I wrapped up another Supernatural rewatch, I finally decided to follow through on something I’ve been threatening to do for a while: watch The Winchesters.  Since the show is dead, done, and dusted, I feel okay about it because now it feels like it’s just some obscure piece of lost media and I’m not actually, you know, supporting it.

I think we have a hard time letting stories end, especially when they have been with us for so long.  We live in an age of reboots and endless spinoffs.  The Winchesters is an interesting case because when the flagship show ended, viewers had all their own feelings about it, but it was over and they knew it was over.  Dead, done, and dusted.

Not so much.

As you know, on June 24th, 2021, about seven months after the end of Supernatural, Jensen Ackles announced his spinoff The Winchesters, produced by his and his wife’s new production company, Chaos Machine.  Robbie Thompson would be heading the project, and it would be telling the “epic love story” of Sam and Dean Winchester’s parents.  We’ve already established that there’s no story here, and no matter how you twist it you will never convince me there is – at least, not in the way they wanted to tell it.  Diehard fans and conspiracy theorist Hellers seemed to end up being its primary audience, but considering its low viewership numbers, I don’t think it ended up attracting many people outside of the established fandom, and was thus canceled. 

This was not a story people cared about.

This fact did not seem to matter to the good people at Chaos Machine and The CW.

Luckily for me, there are only thirteen episodes, and I have nothing better to do, so I am here to present my autopsy of The Winchesters.

The pilot moves so fast.

The Winchesters begins with Samuel Campbell, Mary’s father and Sam and Dean’s grandfather, who we know from the original show.  In the prequel, he’s played by Tom Welling, not Mitch Pileggi, but he’s a mere shadow when we first see him, so we can’t tell yet how poor the casting is.  All that matters is that we know he’s gone missing, and Mary wants to find him.

Immediately, the cold open of the pilot pales in comparison to the flagship program’s pilot.  It really does feel like a cold open to any run-of-the-mill episode of Supernatural.  It doesn’t create that same intrigue as the Supernatural pilot does.

But that brings us to one of the show’s central problems, and it’s something that shows up almost immediately: it is a poor attempt at rehashing the original, filled with Easter eggs that the casual viewer wouldn’t have gotten or cared about.

Right after that, we get the copycat title card and then a sort of awkward transition to John’s homecoming.  He’s having PTSD flashbacks to his time in Vietnam, his tour having just finished, and goes home to see his mother (whose name I don’t even think is mentioned in the pilot, not until the second episode, so I think anyone wasn’t isn’t familiar with the original show might be a little confused.) 

But this is where we hear him: Dean Winchester.

“March 23, 1972.  The day Dad came home from the war, and the day he met Mom.  Now I know this story might sound familiar, but I'm gonna put the pieces together in a way that just might surprise you.  And in order to do that, I have to start all the way at the beginning.”

Um.  Okay.

I’m going to tell you what this is, and it’s really very simple: it’s a justification.

Genuinely, I think these voiceovers are one of the worst things about the show.  Now, Dean isn’t exactly a poet, and even Sam teased him for some of his corny lines, but these bookends are…beyond poorly written.  Just strings of cliches put together, and the first one is the worst one because what it is attempting to do is justify this show’s existence within its very text.

As anyone who is familiar with the situation knows, when the prequel was announced, there was very public backlash – including from Jared Padalecki, who not only played protagonist Sam Winchester in the original show, but was not looped into any of this…at all.  He found out at the same time the rest of us did, and it was pretty clear from the reaction that his was the majority opinion.

The thing about this little intro from the pilot is that it’s not really Dean talking here – it’s Jensen.  It’s Danneel Ackles and Robbie Thompson trying to justify the fact that this show even exists.  That exact sentiment showed up in several press releases and interviews for the show.  Whoever was being spoken to, they’d be like “Oh, we’re gonna surprise you!  It’s not what you think!”

The thing is, the prequel is:

Not surprising

Doesn’t exactly start at the beginning.  That’s misleading.

(“I’m gonna put the pieces together in a way that just might surprise you.”  Jesus Christ, shut up.)

The pilot does do something I appreciated, though, which was to acknowledge that John enlisted underage by forging his father’s signature.  This could have been interesting, but they drop it pretty fast.

I know pilots sort of need to hit the ground running to prove their case, but if we’re going to use the original show’s pilot as a point of comparison, it’s incredibly weak.  Not only were there rumored production issues and they apparently had to do reshoots, forcing them behind schedule for the rest of their run and putting immense pressure on the cast and crew, but it’s simply lacking.  In the original pilot, we are given enough glimpses of the Winchester backstory to make the rest of the pilot interesting.  Sam and Dean are brothers and therefore have history, a dynamic – though strained at the time – and an undeniable chemistry that intrigues us enough to keep us watching.  With the Woman in White, we get an idea of what it is the family does and what Sam has run away from, while giving the episode a plot that isn’t yet mired in the show’s mythology.

The Winchesters doesn’t have that.  What we have is John and Mary, and while a lot of people were rightfully confused as to why they – of all the characters on the original show – would be the ones to get a spinoff, the fact is that they did.  Truthfully, while they would not have been my first choice, if treated properly, I believe John and Mary’s lives before the show could have potential.

What we know about John and Mary from the original show is that they were brought together by a Cupid from Heaven in order to ensure the birth of Sam and Dean, so that Michael and Lucifer would have vessels for the Apocalypse.  In fact, the Cupid states that John and Mary couldn’t stand each other beforehand, but I guess when they bumped into each other outside of Slaughterhouse Five (which does happen in the spinoff’s pilot), I guess we’re to assume that’s when Cupid’s arrow struck and they fell in love.

Basically, their love is…not natural.  It would not have been something they chose for themselves without divine intervention.  The prequel doesn’t hint at this at all.  Instead, the prequel has John and Mary immediately thrust together and John introduced to the world of the supernatural and the Men of Letters and on his first case all in those 42 minutes.

These are not John and Mary.  Not the ones that we could be made to truly care about.

The John and Mary we know are much more complex.  They are interesting, and flawed.  We know from season 12 that Mary was sometimes sneaking out on hunts, even after Dean was born.  We know that John and Mary would sometimes separate for a few days at a time, maybe even longer, probably because what they had for each other was not true love, but something divined by Chuck/God and the angels in order to carry out their plans.  They were pawns, especially when it came to them as a couple.  A story where Mary is struggling to keep her former life a secret while John is dealing with his post-service life, all while trying to be a couple and having these moments of realizing they don’t really know or love each other could have been a good premise.  Instead, what they present is instead just sort of…confusing.

After the pilot, there are a series of Monster of the Week episodes.  This is all supposed to be John’s intro to hunting and the true coming together of the Scooby Gang.  This version of John and Mary are thrown together with Latika (she’s the pacifist who does all their research), Carlos (he’s the stereotypically slutty, sassy bisexual), and Ada (the wannabe witch who’s older than them and I guess sort of a mentor?  Maybe?), and along with John’s mom, Millie, we’re told that they’re this big, happy found family.

Lots of telling and not showing here.  In all honesty, John and Mary don’t have great chemistry, and that is not intentional.  (I’m actually not gonna blame this one on the acting, at least not wholly, but I’ll get more into that later.)  John is saying that he can’t live without Mary within something, like, three episodes.  Honestly, he’s got better chemistry with Latika in the pilot than he does Mary.  Actually, I’d say he has better chemistry with pretty much all the other main characters – Latika, Carlos, and Millie – than he does Mary, and that is interesting.  Ya know why?  It’s because it makes John feel like the protagonist.  And John is the closest thing to a Sam-like character we get in this show.

We learn early on that the Big Bad is something called the Akrida, which are these weird, poorly CGI’d spider-looking things (all of the budget on this show went to music and reshoots, I swear), and they are out to destroy the universe – and not just this universe; all the universes are at stake, so it feels like the show is trying to play off what the original program was doing in its last few seasons.  (Which, weren’t all but Earth One destroyed anyway?  Or something like that?)

This is a big thing.  It feels…too big.  The first season of the original show did a good job of building to the reveal of Yellow Eyes, and they let that story breathe with the Special Children in the second season.  We saw that while Sam and Dean were experienced, they were still novices in a sense, in over their heads, and did a lot of learning and had to figure out how to work together again.  We don’t get that feeling here.  They’re too good too fast.

xXx

In the tenth episode, John and Mary go up against a Golem.  The Golem is under the control of a former Man of Letters who performed experiments on humans, and under the guise of helping them defeat the Akrida, he wants to use John and Mary to bring back what the Akrida took from him: his wife, who was killed by them in the late fifties.

When John and Mary dispose of the bodies at the end of the episode, John thinks what the Man of Letters was doing was out of love, trying to bring her back, but Mary says that he was only doing it for himself – that he was being selfish.  And then she asks John if she thinks they’ll ever turn out like that.

Immediately, this seems to be an assertion that what Mary did in the original show – making the deal with Azazel after he killed her parents and John to bring John back – was this awful, selfish thing.  That saving the only person she had left, the only person she could save (because she wanted Azazel to bring back her parents, too), was inherently wrong.  This seems to ignore the fact that Mary had no idea what the repercussions of the deal would be.  All she knew was that the demon was going to “pay her a visit”, whatever that was supposed to mean (probably assuming he would come to collect her soul as usual), and all she wanted was to save just one person, and that was the man she believed she loved.

I know we’ve established that John and Mary’s love was contrived, but to Mary, she believed she did love him, and it is ridiculous to think that her saving him was something that makes her inherently bad, or selfish, or unloving, as the prequel seems to imply.  She could not have known that Azazel would do what he did to her, to Sam, and to their family.  She didn’t even know there would be a Sam and Dean!  She was nineteen years old!

And yet, the prequel takes this opportunity to vilify her.  The fandom already did enough of that.  When Mary made her return in season 12, her character endured endless misogynistic takes.  When even Dean said it was ridiculous of him to expect her to tuck him in and make his lunch, the fandom still didn’t want to accept it.

Mary is a complex character.  She was dealt as shitty a hand as any other character, but still had to absorb a lot of blame.  Oh, god forbid she struggle to adjust to the 21st century, and having adult children, and not being dead anymore, and learning what the consequences of her actions were.  She clearly felt immense guilt for the hurt that was brought on her family, which was something she would have never intentionally done.  She wanted her and her family to be safe and did the best she could with the information and resources she had.  God forbid a woman be complex or have flaws or be anything less than the perfect mommy to her adult sons.  (Who – again – were not as upset about that as the fucking fandom was.)

And now the prequel is piling onto her, too.  Our Mary is better!!  Shut the fuck up.

xXx

The prevailing sentiment I had when watching this show was that none of it mattered.  The plot, the characters, the monsters…none of it mattered.  Not as a story, and not as it related to the original show.  It doesn’t even really succeed at doing what it really set out to do, but we’ll get to that later.

Like I mentioned, the Akrida feel like a really big Big Bad for the first season of a show.  Ultimately, what the Akrida are, are a failsafe for Chuck.  Basically, they were his backup plan if he were to ever cease to be and they would carry out his plan to finish destroying all the universes he had created.  I guess those of us who watched the original show are supposed to gather that he created these Akrida sometime around season 15, when he started getting rid of all those other universes.  And, since the Winchesters and Jack defeated Chuck at the end of season 15 and Jack took over as God, these creatures are supposed to come in and finish what Chuck couldn’t.

Alright.  A little convoluted, but I can follow it.  It’s how the spinoff attempts to connect itself back to the main show’s plot.

But, wait a second – I thought this was the epic love story of John and Mary!

Let me just say this: this is not a love story.  The love story in the show is pretty weak.  Like I mentioned earlier, the show moves so fast, which means John and Mary’s relationship moves incredibly fast, and the show makes no indication that this is because of any Cupid effects (but maybe they knew the clock was ticking and they didn’t have a good chance at renewal.)  We get no sense of how much time has passed here.  I’m being told I should care about this relationship, but I don’t because of how little effort the writing puts into not only developing this relationship, but the characters themselves.  So it’s hard for me to say that the love story matters in any way.

Then there’s John and Mary’s searches for their fathers.  Those of us who have seen the original show know that Henry Winchester died in the future killing Abadon.  We also know that Samuel Campbell first died when he was killed by Azazel in 1973, and then in season six after being resurrected by Crowley to help him search for alphas.  After the show opens with Samuel going missing and Mary starting the search for him (which just doesn’t pack the same punch as the search for John), Samuel’s presence in the show after they find him is negligible.  For one thing, he’s not a great portrayal of Samuel, and doesn’t even look like him – not a bit.  That part isn’t as important, of course, but it does still take you out of it a bit.  This Samuel is still sort of a jerk, but it just feels like he’s sort of…there.  So when they find him, it doesn’t feel like a big deal.

John’s search for Henry is carried out a little better.  The reason for John deciding to go home to Lawrence after returning from Vietnam is because a Mystery Man (who we all know is Dean) gave him a letter that Henry had left for John before his passing.  It leads John to finding an old Men of Letters clubhouse in Lawrence, which he and his new friends use as a base throughout the show and is a resource for them in learning about and fighting the Akrida.  When John finally does see Henry as a ghost (the result of a séance similar to the one Sam and Cas perform to contact Bobby in season 10), Henry is once again portrayed by Gil McKinney, like he was in the original show.  That does help.  Henry is mostly there to give them information to help them with the Akrida, but it does give John and Millie a sense of closure, unlike in the original show, where John spent his whole life not knowing what happened to Henry and hating his guts.

This all happens in the seventh episode – the show’s midseason finale: both John and Mary get answers on their fathers.  It’s supposed to be the episode where all these things start to come together.  Mary finds Samuel, John and Millie find Henry (sort of), we get some answers on the Akrida, and John and Mary kiss.  Woohoo.

After that, there are another few Monster of the Week episodes with Big Bad plot running alongside it, just like in the original show.  It follows a similar structure.  The episode with Richard Speight, Jr. as Loki (not sure if it’s supposed to be the real Loki or Gabriel as Loki, but probably the latter?) is maybe the worst one.  Loki/Gabriel just comes off as an annoying caricature, the plot and his scheme are just sort of confusing, and there’s just…way too much singing.  Part of Carlos’s story is that he wanted to be a musician, and he and his former bandmate do some singing, and the songs don’t even sound as if they fit the time period, so.  That’s awesome.

Carlos is also subjected to more humiliation when in an episode with vampires – and I’m sure those in the know already know where this is going! – he has Latika douse his hair in holy water and he whips it around to splash it on the vampires.  Like…since when are vampires affected by holy water?  Not only is the physics of it stupid (it would be so inefficient to have to be constantly whipping your head around, just fucking squirt them with a water bottle or the water gun Carlos used in the pilot), it’s just not even right.  It’s incorrect within the show’s own mythology.

The penultimate episode is a creepy clown episode.  I will say, the clowns are sort of creepy, but maybe that’s just because I agree with Sam about clowns just being inherently creepy.  It’s an okay case, I guess.  This is also the episode with Rowena.  Ada is trying to find some sort of magical way to deal with the Akrida, and she stumbles into a witch club where Rowena finds her.  Ruth McConnell does what she does, and it’s hard to complain about Rowena because she always plays her well.  She does give Ada the magic to use against the Akrida in return for a bonzai tree that has a demon trapped in it (I know, I know) because the bonzai demon has information on her son.  (Who we know is Crowley, but he doesn’t get a namedrop here, and there’s no further explanation there.  I guess it’s possible Rowena could have known in the seventies that Crowley/Fergus was a demon or otherwise had something to do with demons and hell, but when she sees him in season 10 for the first time, she doesn’t recognize him.  I do think that can be written off as him just being in a new vessel, though, so I’ll give this one a pass.)  Of all the guest stars they brought on from the original show, Ruth/Rowena is by far the best, both in performance and purpose.  She shows Ada how to kill Akrida using magic, but doing so kills off a bit of her soul, similar to the magic used to resurrect Jack in season 14.

And then it’s the finale.  Just like that.  In the final episode, they go up against the Akrida and their queen.  In order to kill them, they either need to use the magic Rowena showed Ada, or they need to use something from another world.  They connect with a hunter, Joan Hopkins, who has been in contact with Dean/Mystery Man, who she has thrown into the portal and destroyed after months of him staying ahead of her, and no living thing can survive the portal (the portal being the thing that the Akrida use to destroy worlds.)  John and Mary find out this hunter is actually the queen.  She and her family have hunted with the Campbells for generations, and we find out that Joan was actually born in 1673 and after losing her entire family and her husband, she turned on humankind and imbued herself with monster essence.  She claimed monsters weren’t the problems, but humans for always needing saving, making it so hunters always paid the price for protecting them.  She was made the Akrida queen when she was cast out of her world, and she is helping them carry out Chuck’s final mission of wiping the universe of universes of humanity.  And now, Joan/the Queen is at full power, and will open up the portal to finish the destruction.

In the end, there’s this battle, and all our new friends are there fighting the Akrida, and they use this thing called the Ostium in an attempt to summon something from another world to kill the Queen, the Ostium being the only thing known to be capable of doing such a thing.  They use Dean/Mystery Man’s journal to try to summon him, but nothing happens at first, leading them to conclude that the Mystery Man is dead.

And then – as we all know – the Impala appears.

Mary realizes the Impala is not from their world, and therefore can be used to kill Joan.  With the portal open, she runs Joan over with the car, but also ends up accidentally going through the portal, which as we know, no living thing can survive.  Womp-womp.

But wait!  The Impala reappears, and inside it is a living Mary – and Dean Winchester.

Apparently, the Impala somehow protected her (I don’t know how, it’s not explained, don’t ask me), and Dean tells them all he’s already dead, so it’s not like it could do anything to him, and I guess that tracks.  He was stuck in between worlds after being tossed into the portal by Joan, waited by the portal, and gave Mary a ride out.

I’ll let Dean explain the rest:

“I'm a Hunter, just like you.  But I'm not from this Earth…When I died, I made it to heaven.  And [the Impala] was waiting for me.  So I went for a drive, and then I took a little detour.  Through the multiverse…I was looking for my family.  See, I come from a long line of Hunters.  I guess I was hoping that somewhere out there was an Earth that had a version where my family had a shot at a happy ending.  When I was driving, I caught wind of the Akrida.  Turns out that they were one of Chuck's last creations...basically, he's a real dick.  He left the Akrida behind to wipe out all of existence in case he failed.  Well...he failed.  Eventually the Akrida were going to make their way to my world, and I got family there, so I couldn't let that happen…I took my little detour.  The rules were simple.  Don't mess with anything.  Well…I gave it a little nudge.  Thought it might need a little help.  Looks like it worked out pretty well.  So now that the Akrida are gone, you all can choose your own destiny.  You can write your own story.”

Then Bobby and Jack show up.  We already saw Bobby at the beginning of the episode, and he more or less feels like Bobby, but it’s still like…what are you doing here.  What’s going on here.  This scene at the beginning of the finale shows us when Dean gave John that letter from Henry, when he’s dressed like a Bond villain, setting the story in motion.  Bobby reminded Dean then that they weren’t supposed to meddle, but Dean is Dean and does whatever the fuck he wants, apparently, and Bobby says he’s off to get the cavalry, a line I’m still not completely clear on because who is the cavalry in this situation?  Is it Jack?  Can’t be Gabriel/Loki because they’re dead, can’t be Rowena because not only is she Queen of Hell in the main timeline, but nothing about her appearance here suggests that she was the current iteration of herself from the original show.  So I don’t know who the hell the cavalry is in this context, but I’ll let Jack and Dean take it from here:

JACK: Dean. DEAN: Yeah.  No, I know.  I know, Jack. JACK: When I restored things, I wanted mankind to make their own fate.  That meant no interference from on high, anywhere...no exceptions.  DEAN: I couldn't let our world get destroyed.  Sam's still down there, okay?  He deserves a good, long life.  Hell, they all do.  So, if you want to cast me out of heaven...so be it. BOBBY: If we're taking a vote, I'd say you give the guy another chance. JACK: There's always another case with you Hunters...even in death.  Well...if you're going to meddle in things, finish what you started.  After this...it's time to get around to the..."there'll be peace when you are done"…part of the song.

Jack then hands Dean the journal he had been writing in and the Colt.  Yes, the Colt.  Dean gives them to John and Mary, telling them to use the Colt if a Yellow-Eyed Demon ever comes to them, and to use his journal to help guide them as hunters.  The journal is what we see Dean with in the final episode of the pilot, and what he says in voiceover at the beginning and end of each episode (which are just these platitudes and cliches about hunting and family) are written in that journal.  They ask his name, Dean tells them it’s James Hetfield (founding member of Metallica), and then he, Jack, Bobby, and the Impala disappear.

 The episode ends with all of them happy the Akrida are gone and free to make their own decisions about their lives.  John plans to keep hunting with the gang, but Mary isn’t sure.  She got into Kansas State earlier in the season, but she needs time and space.  But she does show up at the Winchesters’ repair shop at the end, and she and John go on a drive while “Ramble On” plays over a montage of scenes from the show.

And that’s it.

xXx

Okay.

What becomes abundantly clear at the end of this show is that all that mattered – all that ever mattered – was what the fuck Dean was doing.  It wasn’t John and Mary’s love story, it wasn’t the search for their dads, it wasn’t the question of whether to hunt or not, it wasn’t the Scooby Gang’s found family.  It was just…Dean.

Now, don’t get me wrong: I love Dean.  I think he’s an interesting character.  I also think his death was appropriate.  But one person was so frustrated by his ending that he decided he needed to do something about it.

The logistics of the finale are…weird, to say the least.  I can understand the logic behind the Impala being capable of killing Joan based on the show’s rules.  It’s of another world, and Joan really gets her shit rocked by it, like Regina George getting hit by that bus, so I can buy it killing her.  Sure.  And I guess Dean waiting by the portal in the space between spaces or whatever is…plausible, I guess, since we don’t know how anything works between universes, so I’m willing to buy that.  (Notice I’m not buying anything here with much enthusiasm, however.)  But what the fuck does Dean mean, he heard about the Akrida while he was driving around?  What does he mean, he took a detour?  Did Jack tell him what was happening?  Was he the one who set the rules?  If so, did he not take care of the problem himself because of his own self-imposed resolution to not meddle?  Did Jack want Dean to give John the letter?  I don’t think he did because Bobby seemed to think that was meddling, which Dean was expressly told not to do, but how does any of this work without some level of meddling?  And speaking of Bobby, I know we see him in the original show’s finale, but what the hell is he doing this whole time?  Did he get caught by Jack doing something offscreen that we’re not told about, or did he run to him and tattle?  (Super out of character for Bobby to be a narc, by the way, if that is the case.)

Or, maybe I’m supposed to interpret this another way, as something Dean stumbled upon while he was taking his Heavenly drive.  He said he took a little detour and went looking for his family.  That he was hoping there was a version out there that had a happy ending.  Maybe he somehow found this potentially happy version of John and Mary and learned their universe was being threatened by the Akrida when he did?  I don’t know.

I am baffled.  Befuddled, even.

This episode is the only one to acknowledge Sam, and what’s funny about that is that for as much as the show excluded him, it inadvertently reinforces the idea of Sam as protagonist.  Dean wants to stop the Akrida not to save this universe, necessarily, but because he’s worried about the Akrida getting to Earth One and getting to Sam.  He did it all for Sam.  It’s fucking poetic, is what it is, and I don’t think they did it to be poetic.  I think they did it because they knew that:

They were stupid to leave Sam out of it in the first place, and

They had to justify this whole thing somehow.

In the end, none of it mattered.

xXx

At the beginning of this, I mentioned how hard it can be to let things end.  While we can joke about how ridiculous Carlos whipping his hair back and forth to spray vampires with holy water is, or how Mary was dressed like a knockoff Claire Novak in the pilot, or the vanishing Impala, or how bad the Akrida looked, or how convoluted the premise of the whole show is, I think there’s something more we can take away from this: The Winchesters is a study in both vanity and poor media literacy.

Dean Winchester dying at the end of Supernatural makes perfect sense within the text of the show.  This is a tragic character completing his tragic arc.  His death also symbolizes the end of an abusive cycle, but in order to acknowledge that, you have to acknowledge that something very complex exists within Dean’s character.  Many fans do not want to acknowledge that Dean continued the familial cycle of abuse.  Do I believe he loved Sam?  Absolutely.  Do I believe he was unfairly parentified?   Yes.  Do I believe he was also a victim of neglect?  One thousand percent.  But that doesn’t change the fact that Dean continued these harmful cycles.  That’s part of the tragedy.  His death made it possible for Sam to break those cycles and live a life he had been continuously guilted and shamed and ostracized for wanting to live, and while that’s in a sense a win, it comes about in a tragic way.

The tragedy is the point.  The hurt is the point.

But Jensen Ackles just didn’t like that.  Of all the people on the cast and crew, he was the only one who it didn’t seem to click with, and look – I can understand that maybe he needed to take some time to sit with it because he brought that character to life for fifteen years and that character has a rough end, and it also marks the end of fifteen years of his life.�� It’s tough stuff.  But what Jensen and the producers of The Winchesters did didn’t add to Dean’s story or his character, it didn’t add to the original story, it didn’t improve upon anything, or clarify anything, or rehabilitate anything.

It was Jensen’s attempt to get the last word, and it failed spectacularly.

I said earlier that I don’t want to blame a lot of the show’s problems on the acting, and I think that’s true.  The main cast are young actors who haven’t been in a ton of projects (Meg Donnelly, who played Mary, has the most experience with ABC’s American Housewife and Disney’s Zombies movies), and I don’t want to blame cast and crew for just wanting to get work, and the main case certainly isn’t unwatchable.  They have to do and say some pretty cringy shit at times, but that’s not on them.  The supporting cast is generally serviceable to forgettable, and only truly bad a couple of times (the guy who plays Ada’s half-djinn son is…not great.  He sounded like he was having lines fed to him and wasn’t comprehending any of what he was saying).  Carlos and Latika aren’t particularly bad characters or poorly portrayed or anything, even if they do rely on some stereotypes (again, not on them), and might be fine in another context. 

I will also say, though, that while Meg Donnelly isn’t like…a bad actor, she’s not a good Mary.  The Mary we know from the flagship program is sweet, and hopeful, and resourceful, and very capable.  I could absolutely believe that the Mary portrayed by Samantha Smith or Amy Gumenick could both kill a monster and struggle to break out of the life she was raised in, and absolutely, 100% want out of that life and apply to Kansas State University behind everyone’s back (just like someone else we know!)  Donnelly’s Mary just feels like a Claire Novak rip-off.  Which was a weird choice to make, and I guess they could try to justify by being like Oh, well this is a Mary from another universe, but that’s not gonna fly.  We got a Mary that could certainly kill monsters, but otherwise doesn’t really feel like Mary Winchester at all.

Then there’s John, portrayed by Drake Rodger.  He was my favorite of the main cast, and the one who seems to be the true protagonist, which I noted earlier.  Rodger had mentioned having watched the original show, and he has that sort of gentle giant quality that Sam had, and even does a good job of picking up on some of his mannerisms that make him at least feel like a Winchester.  Does he feel like John?  I mean…that’s harder to say than it was with Donnelly’s Mary.  We know from the original show that John before hunting was a pretty different guy.  He was probably struggling with PTSD after his tour, but Mary repeatedly refers to him as a sweet, open person, so I can believe that this John could be more like Sam: generally a very nice, gentle guy who you need to watch out for when he’s angry or scared.  As far as performances go, he did pretty well – or, as well as he could, considering the writing.

So, yeah, I’m not gonna pin the show’s downfall on the acting because that wasn’t it.  And I’m not gonna pin it on the crew, either.  Sure, the special effects and editing weren’t always great, but they weren’t always the best on the original show, either.

This is a project that never should have been greenlit, for one reason because it would have saved that crew member from getting struck by lightning.  The crew member sued, naming Ackles and the other producers in the lawsuit along with the network for not following proper safety measures.  Director John Showalter, a Supernatural alum, decided he wanted a scene shot in the rain, even though there was lightning in the vicinity.  The show had already dealt with reshoots and short filming windows, so Showalter, the producers, and the network decided to risk everyone’s safety, and a crew member literally got struck by lightning and woke up in the emergency room.  I hope he gets a giant settlement.

It also shouldn’t have been greenlit not just because it was apparently poorly run and unsafe (which, really, is the worst thing about all this – the show’s not even good, and you’re endangering people for it), but because it was a petty little vanity project.  Jensen Ackles just couldn’t let it go, couldn’t stand that he wasn’t the protagonist, and had to try to get in one last word.

But he couldn’t do it.  He was never going to be able to do it.  This wasn’t a project driven by love of storytelling, but by spite.  He wanted everyone to be thinking Where’s Dean?  How does Dean fit into this?  What’s he doing there?  He didn’t want to explore this weird, difficult relationship, or the original show’s major theme of autonomy; he just wanted attention.  That’s what comes through in all of this because the story itself doesn’t matter.  If these characters don’t reveal anything about the original characters or story, then it doesn’t matter, and it’s certainly not written or performed or produced well enough to make it matter. Why should I care about this John and Mary? I don't know, and the show doesn't, either.

And the kicker is that all of Dean’s voiceover bits are stupid cliches, it doesn’t make sense how he even got himself into this mess, and it all still comes back around to Sam in the end, anyway.  So there was literally no point.  It was all a waste of time and money and a man got struck by lightning.

This show was doomed from the start.  Dead, done, and dusted before it even made it to your screen.

[kamen20ghost]

Some years later.

Cut to ruby and Jaune cuddling on a patio couch as their blond hair silver eye children laugh and play in the back yard.

Ruby: * Sighs contently* you know jaune I’m so happy with all of this and you and the family we made. * Takes one of her hands into his and gently rubs her thumb against the back of his hand.* I hope you know you made me the happiest huntress this world has seen.

Jaune: * Chuckles as leans in as he takes in the feel of ruby against him as he rubs the wedding ring on her finger.* Ya same here crater face and I’m so over joyed you gave me so much after everything we bin through. * Looks over to their kids as his youngest is sporting a red cloak proclaiming she’ll be the best hunter in the world.*

Meanwhile the ghosts of arc and rose families look on conflicted.

Ghost arc: god dames boy when I told you to stab her it was supposed to be the family sword not your personal blade although see their family made me think of the what if.* Looks over to rose and sees she trying not to cry and doing a bad job at hiding it.* Hey you ok there?

Ghost rose: * Sniffling a little as she uses her cloak to whip her tears.* I’m fine just happy for them and a bit envious as well I mean I don’t get to grow up with my kids I mean they where so young when I died and to see the what if since imagine if that was us since you and I where so close before it all went to hell. *Lightly glares at him as she remember how she was there in his times of need and even after the lost of his first love Amphitrite Nikos. As well as growing to love him as he was her rock before that bitch Cendrillon fall drove a wedge between them.

Ghost arc: * Looks away ashamed as he smiles softly as the his descendent son holds a toy sword and screams his be a knight like his dad.* ya I know if it made you feel slightly better after my death when I became like this I did some digging and found out a lot of what led to are fight and your death was set up by that fire glass bitch Cendrillon. When I knew it was her doing that put us agains each other i felt bad and wanted to apologize but knew it was to late but when I saw you follow ruby I thought could but then you scream at me that your descendent will kill mine and I got swept up in the moment and for that I’m truly sorry for what I did in life splat face.

Ghost rose: * Sighs as she leans agains arc her hod over her face. It bin a long a very long time since I heard that name puke knight but I can’t fully forgive you since part of you knew she was lying to and sill went and killed me. * She looks up to him her eyes having tears form in them.* But watching them fall in love and deal with the things we went through in are life did help lessen the pain I feel but know it be there for the rest of are afterlives.

Both ghost chuckles as they watch the happy family glad to know this feud between their families has end happily

In Every World, In Every Timeline... 🌈 ⚔️ 🌹

Jaune and Ruby are being all "friendly" like...

Ruby: We are the bestest bestie evah! ❤️

Jaune: We sure are. Crater face.

Ruby: Ohh... I like you too. Vomit boy~ 😘

Jaune: Come 'ere you!

*grabs Ruby's waist and brings her closer to him*

Ruby: Kyan~ 😁

No! The cute blonde knight is about to violate me! 😉

Whatever shall I do? 😏

Jaune: Ha, ha. I have you now Ms. Rose.

For too long you have eluded my capture.

And now that I have you in my hands. I swear I will never let you go.

Ruby: But why Sir Knight? Why do you desire me so, for what reason do you want to capture me? 😶

Jaune: That's because you're the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on.

Ruby: *gasp* really? 😮

Jaune: Yes. I am especially fond of your beautiful dark red hair. And your silver eyes...

Ruby: *gasp again* (He knows that my hair color is actually red. We really are besties 😳)

Jaune... Do you think we are best friends in every universe?

Jaune: ....where did this come from?

Ruby: You know just curious... 🥺

Jaune: Well, I hope so...

A long, long time ago:

Field of corpses as far as the eyes can see and somewhere in the midst of all the decaying bodies a clash of epic proportions is currently happening between two people a knight and a red robed woman.

Arc's Ancestor: I HATE YOU!!!

Rose's Ancestors: I HATE YOU MORE!!!

Arc: After I'm done killing you. I will make sure to hunt down the rest of your silver eyed abominations.

Rose: You're too late. While you're busy slaughtering the innocents my family has already left the woods by then.

Jaune: Then I better start now.

*stabs Rose*

Rose:

Uoghh!

I guess you finally did it...

Arc: This too fitting of an end for a witch like you. I would personally have you tortured for months before delivering the final blow. A pity...

Now, any last words?

Rose: Ugh... Yeah.

The k-king can kiss my ass...

He, he, he...

*smacks face*

Arc: Vile witch!

I should have known that your kind will betray the king eventually.

I swear on my life and all the life that will come after me that an Arc will be the one to put an end to the last of the silver eyes clan.

Rose: Then I swear too... That the Rose clan will be the one to put an end to the Arc family's line...

Fast forwards...

Jaune and Ruby playing patty cake.

Ghost Arc: WHAT THE SALEM ARE YOU DOING?!!

She's literally the last one!

Drive the family sword through her chest!

Ghost Rose: Why are you playing with the enemy?!

His family is responsible for wiping out our family!

Jaune: Hey Ruby did you hear something?

Ruby: Dunno could be the wind. I guess. 🌬️

Sorry that I haven't been posting. I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately and needed some break.

The reason I'm writing this is because I needed some background history for Jaune. And Ruby too I guess.

[storkmuffin]

First Ateez Concert (Post performance write up) part 1/2

- That was so much fun! The general impression I have is one of CUTENESS, which surprised me. They’re all so endearing. I feel like I’m watching my friends put on a show. Everything moved with clockwork precision, where everyone (well except Mingi) had a firm handle on exactly what they were supposed to do, and could do it in their sleep. It felt very well-oiled, like a broadway show that's been on forever.

- A young African American woman was my seatmate to my left, and a young Korean woman was my seatmate to my right. As soon as my left side friend (I think she said her name was Danielle) took out her Lightiny I said, OH YOU HAVE ONE! I TOTALLY FAILED TO GET ONE TODAY! and we got to talking. Her bias is Yunho. She likes him for the reasons I like him - which is the naughty Catholic shit. LOL. We talked a bit about how I got into the group, and how thrilled I was to be here, and how we both hoped that they would do all the things (specifically, Seonghwa's finger suckage situation) to happen on this stage.

Danielle came with a friend who got better seats than us, on the 2nd floor. The friend did the membership thing on time, and then went to a PC Bang with the superfast gamer pcs and web connections, and fought for those tickets. Danielle came all the way to Seoul from Daegu! My dad's home town! When she said Daegu another foreign Atiny seated directly in front of me turned around and said, Oh I have to go back to Daegu too! And then tapped her friend who was seated in front of HER, "Hey, I found another person who has to go back to Daegu!" and they all confirmed when their train was. I wish I had had time to ask why all these diverse English speaking foreigners are all doing in Daegu, but there wasn't time.

The K-atiny was startled when I turned to her and asked her a question because she thought I was foreign. Her bias is San. She RENTED her lightiny, she said, and her binoculars (she had, like, military grade binoculars, which made my very good opera glasses look extremely fussy and twee). I kept trying to draw her into conversation but she was so scared of my speaking English and being a stranger who wanted to talk that she mostly heartily agreed with everything I said about San.

- The concert began by playing music videos, Bouncy, Work , and Ice on my Teeth, and there was synchronized-seeming screaming during key parts. Whatever you think a key part might be, yes, that was a key part. I put in my rock-concert ear-protection plugs with the 'maximum' protection and I was so glad I had this protection. That shit was LOUD and it only got louder throughout the evening.

- My way of watching the concert was not to try to record or memorize it but watch what moved me, and to try to watch the actual unit of people moving onstage (who were very far away) using my opera glasses as much as possible.

And now, just a jumble:

- San is a really special presence. Just, the most beautiful looking man, ever. Every time he got a solo close up the entire stadium of 15,000 exploded with screams. Lovely performer, great at camera awareness, gives it all during the dancing, sings well. Just, wonderful. And he was "on" so there wasn't any of that, Talk In Pout, Blink in Innocent Confusion stuff from his Lives happening, nor was there any shipping interaction with others. Just an ultra smooth performance, where even his eyebrows had perfectly executed choreography.

- Hongjoong was very lovable. He's so 착해 and ultra 오빠미 for his role as unofficial MC for the whole show. He said, 코아첼라에서 여까지 왔다~잉? which is the sort of chuncheon dialect he sometimes reverts to, which I would translate as "Girls, we got all the way here (to the KPSO Dome) via Coachella!" which was very sweet.

- I think they were trying to get the in-Korea audience (with many many new Korean Atiny specificially) to behave like the more expressive audiences abroad, but some of what they asked for was clearly confusing for the national audience. Mingi insisted that people had to stand up for certain songs, which we duly did, but then we all didn't know whether or when to sit down or if we could keep standing or what, and each time HongJoong came in with ''It''s time to sit now. Yes, you can rest." At one point he said, "Atiny are so well behaved. When we ask them to stand, they timidly ask each other, "Oh do we have to?" and then when it's over they wait for permission to sit again."

- Yunho is marvelous as a dancer and stage presence. Part of it is that he's tall and very long limbed, but he also looked the happiest to be there, on stage, performing. The most free and least worried. Oh, so basically being Yunho, the everyone's beloved, the everyone's boyfriend. OHhhhh. I see what you did there, Yunho. Aha. He also projected a lot of physical power, which is different from San who compared in person to Yunho actually looks quite delicate but is giving it his all. Yunho does a lot of very fast footwork that just isn't captured on camera. So much precision and details and placement. LOVED Yunho. His being 'chased by terrifying invisible forces and running away' bit was done with a lot of conviction too.

- There's an all seeing eyeball that's like, the surveillance state or something that's atop the radio tower in center stage, but the KQ people made it extra gross by having the eye make horrible squelching noises as it rolled around 'looking'' at the audience.

-Yeosang is unreal. He looks a bit surreal, like Oh wow is that a real person?? kind of surreal. He apparently lost use of the in-ear guidance device during the unit song with San and Wooyoung, but I didn't notice anything.

- SEONGHWA DID THE THING WITH THE FINGERS. Very pleased. He also looked like he is starving. Like, his eyes are starting to sink into his head, sort of a deal. Is that how he normally looks or did he get even thinner for the recent fashion week things? THE ANGEL WING RIPPAGE was everything I wanted. But then a big feathee kind of got stuck in a very awkward way in his hair and WOULD not dislodge so he had to remove it himself, and then he saved it by releasing it dramatically at the end. He really 'own's that whole sequence. When he made a transition comment, about how they were about to wrap up, and how this was the final concert, and the whole audience made a sad noise of disappointment, he said, Well, we might do more songs. It depends on how you behave. 어떻게 하는지 봐서 in his actual deep voice and ... he really is a dom. There was no reason for that little comment to be so scary but everyone was scared, in a heart-eyes way. The sword swinging to end Wonderland was also so thrilling and fun. It’s interesting how all his highlight moments involved doing these silent theatrical actions.

- Mingi. Ok, so Mingi has very dramatic coloring that I've not seen on many Korean people. Extremely pale skin, with blue undertones. Yunho is also extremely pale, but has pink-warm tones. Mingi looks like he'd be cold to the touch. So, this blue-white icy skin and then huge red lips, jet black eyebrows, eyes like a vampire. He makes TERRIFYING faces as he hollers loud enough to puncture eardrums. He also looked like he was having a good time, sort of like Yunho. But different because he seemed actually spontaneous and brought an atmosphere of actual unpredictability, of real risk taking, which this show otherwise entirely lacked.

Near the end of his duet with Yunho, Mingi pressed his forehead into Yunho's and then made an odd motion like he was trying to decide between kneeling and lunging at Yunho, which Yunho short circuited by doing the headspin, by himself, to break contact. Then Mingi warbled someting about... something (Mingi is so hard to understand) to which Yunho again cut short by saying, Just hurry up and tell them you love them (빨리 쓰랑해나 해 - with the word 사랑해 intentionally mispronounced). Then he hauled Mingi off as the lights went off, and we heard Yunho say 아 진짜! which is, For God's sake! befoe both their mikes cut off.

Later, because it was clearly confusing for everyone, HongJoong asked Yungi what happened at the end of Youth. Yunho said that Mingi insisted that he they do a 2행시 using the syllables for 유스 and then stumbled, so Yunho had to cut it short.

When it was time to pick the '"Boss" for Seoul, when HongJoong asked, who should I pick? as a rhetorical question, Mingi answered with, "Pick the hottest girl" to which everyone yelled at him, with one (whether it was San or Yunho I don't know) adding, 정신 나갔어? (have you lost your mind?).

During the moment when the members pick up the most interesting handmade signs from the floor-level attendees, Wooyoung found one that had 쓰러다 해메져 which is the famous Mingi line flub from some other concert. Mingi was like WHO WAS IT, I JUST WANNA SEE THEIR FACE and San bodily blocked him, saying, Don't be scary! That sign turned out to have multiple elements - like a request for Woo and HJ to press their faces together, which they did, and a special birthday well wishes message for Yunho, which were all nicer. Then HongJoong tasked Mingi with returning that sign back to the Atiny who brought it, Mingi said to her, smiling, "Oh you're dressed so pretty today. I'M GOING TO REMEMBER YOUR FACE" in a way that walked the line between being very funny (which it was) and feeling a little bit actually scary (which it also was).

Mingi got a LOT of screams. He also took his clothes off the most (which was not a lot, but more than any of the others but for Seonghwa and Yeosang with their already ripped-and-showing-skin type costumes.

- Jongho ripped his lip (??) singing the first two songs which he mentioned during the intro greeting. His solo was a really welcome moment of singing and sentiment in a very loud show. He tried for but couldn't reach the highest note in that song, but covered it so well and it was a lovely experience. He felt bad about this, and was very apologetic about this in his closing comment. Jongho was a surprise in being both funny and warm as a presence. He always seemed kind of defensive and stiff to me, very guarded in their reality content and the least paitent with the silly set ups. But I found myself thinking that if he gave a solo concert I would totally go listen to him sing for a couple hours.

[lulumanic]

finally got rdr2 i'm so excited to play it

[orangeleftyotherblog]

yippee yippee i got tagged!!! X3

okay so this is funny because my current obsession since a week ago now is ace attorney! :D

(I’m also gonna yap abt Cuphead later STAY TUNED FOR THAT ITS SUPER IMPORTANT)

basically it all started about a year ago from now, maybe last april or may, i dont remember, that my dad was telling me “oh i found this game on xbox gamepass, its where you play as a lawyer” something like that. Now, I had actually heard of Ace Attorney, so when he said this I thought I knew what he was talking about but let him finish. He said “It’s called Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney” then I say “OHH!!! I’ve heard of that game!”

So my dad, my younger brother and I started playing it together, and I had just SO MUCH FUN with it! Getting to voice act such interesting characters, the gameplay and cases, and getting to play with my dad and brother. Though we only made it through the first two cases/episodes, it was still quite fun.

However, my real obsession with Ace Attorney didn’t start until last sunday when I told my mom “I feel really tired” and she said “well you’ve been working hard at school, how about you go do something relaxing?” (I had also been helping her with some household chores)

This gave me an idea. I went to the couch with my sketchbook and pencils and started drawing Mia Fey, one of my favorite characters at the time. After that, I sorta just developed an obsession with Ace Attorney and started playing it again!

Side tangent but my most favorite Ace Attorney characters rn are Franziska Von Karma and Detective Gumshoe!! >:3

I like Franziska because she reminds me of Baroness Von Bon Bon (both such girlbosses) and I used to be SO obsessed with BVBB (kinda like how my two moots previously explained their obsession with miss miseryguts lol)

Also funny story I used to hate Gumshoe and Edgeworth cuz I thought they were annoying but now I like both of them, also Gumshoe is so silly and sweet EDGEWORTH STOP CUTTING HIS PAY HE CANT AFFORD ANYTHING!!! >:P

I’d also like to yap about Cuphead because that’s always gonna be my main obsession.

It’s what started it all. It’s the whole reason I ever got into any of my fandoms now. If I had never found Cuphead, then ultimately, my tumblr blogs (@orangeleftyart and this one) would never exist. Cuphead got me obsessed with Undertale and Deltarune (which became a huge obsessions too) and other indie games, because of the FNF Indie Cross Mod that Cuphead was in, and later, made my friendship with my irl bestie stronger (as we could yap abt our interests and she got me into Ghost and Pals and Vocaloid). It also, essentially, started my interest in truly improving my art and made me draw SO MUCH MORE than I would have previously.

I’ve drawn practically every character at least a few times, ESPECIALLY Baroness Von Bon Bon. She’s my favorite boss for reasons I’m not quite sure on, but I do know that I saw her as an easily angered and aggressive, but gentle and loving person willing to do whatever it takes to protect her kingdom and subjects. That’s still my interpretation of her (at least, in game) and she resonated with me so much. I also liked her in the show. FUN FACT okay fun fact I was SO obsessed with BVBB that when Cuphead Show Season 2 came out I WOKE UP AT 2 AM. 2 AM IN THE DAMN MORNING just to watch HER EPISODE SPECIFICALLY before going back to bed. I was screaming at it so much and exploding with joy that I woke up and summoned my dad, though thankfully I didn’t get in trouble somehow, he probably thought I was crazy though HAHAHAH.

Anyway, last thing about Cuphead is that I made a poster once for my room (as I usually do when I get another obsession) but after I made the poster, I said a prayer that night, asking God that no matter what happened to me, no matter what new obsessions I developed or the person I’d become, that I would always turn back to Cuphead as a comfort, that it would always hold a special place in my heart, that I’d never abandon it like my previous obsessions. Now, I know plenty of you probably aren’t religious, but personally I will always see Cuphead as “a gift from God” (not literally ofc, its not pure perfection) because I’d say that my prayer was answered: no matter what, after being a Cuphead fan for over 3 years now I believe, I always look back on it as my favorite video game ever and I could never hate anything about it and I’m basically still obsessed with it!

Anyway that’s all. Thanks for letting me yap about stuff that keeps me sane but also drove me insane eheheh. Now to link a post with a ton of my BVBB fanart so you can all see just how OBSESSED with her I was (and still lowkey am ehehheh) and look at #baroness von bon bon on my blog that’s probably a good number of my posts lol

TAGS: @spielort @ace-was-already-taken @sillyguyz4ever @sillynoi @transclownhehe @fr3akshowdusty @mxacefoolish-writer @ch1k3ns0up + open tags IM SO SORRY ITS SUCH A LONG POST GUYS FORGIVE MEEEE-

tag game!! ^q^

how it works: get tagged. yap about current obsessions.

i'll go first!! >_<

okay so uhhh.. yi xi!!! i love her voice, her fan designs.. aghhh i love her

i also really like the train bitch (choo choo) and project on her sm... ( 〃▽〃) she is on SO MUCH MATH WORK ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY

last off... teeptum (tptm)!!! it's weird, i'm uncomfortable with myself recovering, but seeing these girls — whether i relate to them or not — overcome their struggles (^-^; maybe it's just nice to have hope... OH ALSO DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW WELL WRITTEN EACH GIRL IS!!! ITS GENUINELY SO GOOD. I UNDERSTAND WHY SO MANY PEOPLE RELATE TO AT LEAST ONE GIRL. (personally i relate to tahira (splitter) and nora (caliber) but also some elements of freyja (faneint)

TAGS!! @charawara (go ahead. yap about the blue mouthed freak) @lordofthealfies (go ahead. yap about lotf) @fishtheflowerchomper @luckyloser6 @wkfn14kt829j2nq @toothandfeather @fearofajmetalalbum @madilynlovesbsdfr

[spinnysocks]

vita shows me a stick :]

[robindaydream]

He's catching me up on the characters and story arcs

artfight attack of Ugly Finder (featuring Daydream) for @bananasmores

[sleepy-crypt1d]

going a little insane thinking about that one echo in moxxi's heist that's jack calling his mom on mother's day- a call she very much does not answer- and how much the sadness in his voice when saying goodbye says about him

[iamnotlookingidonotseeit]

fascinating revelations out of my dad's professional coaching of the whole family today

my mom scored astonishingly high on empathy and caring for a woman who seemed to find it next to impossible to express that to me

my dad has done an insane amount of work to be so warm and personable considering that his natural inclination is towards strong reserve rooted in anxiety (just like me!!)

my sister shocked - SHOCKED 🙄 - to learn that she scores almost zero in empathy AND very high on manipulation

actually shocking reveal that my sister always knew she was my mom's favorite. like I kind of assumed she was mean to both of us but apparently most of the biting comments were for me

[mer-se]

lil hiatus away

[milo-is-rambling]

I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

[zannolin]

(re-ish)watching ncis in 2023 is like came for the murder and crime solving, stayed for the absolutely unhinged tiva plotline

[todayisafridaynight]

Hey so Snap this is going to be so fucking weird, but honestly don’t care. So I was watching a clip of Drag Race Philippines and it was the make over episode and I think they were making over family members and this father was all about getting into drag. So, I just wanted to tell you never forget how much of a lovely loving kind and caring father you have, who loves you and protects you and makes you feel heard. That’s all.

i'd have to die before i forget how great my dad is thank you for the opportunity to brag about him again anon