#i used to think id be so much happier if i was living in the world of pokemon but if the pokemon world didnt have orv novel then i wouldnt

[localapparently]

YOOHANKIM RAAAGHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHH UGRHGRHGR I ughh i just ugh i love them so MUCH i love them i want them to be happy so bad

[nomairuins]

its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

[percyjacksonscookies]

being alive is fucking wild

idk who said this on this stupid blue website but someone once said that were all skyscrapers of information trying not to crash into each other

and the more I live the more I see just how fucking true that is

and then I think about the systems we have in place that brought us here

the ways that people with power exerted that power over others to try and make life feel like more than it is

like.... imagine if instead of Europeans killing off natives with their nasty ass habits and diseases, instead, a disease that native people had, killed off every European that made it to our shores

THEN how would human history have developed? without a continent dedicated to imperialism and exerting power over others??

I like to think that native teachings would have thrived

I like to think that maybe when we figured out how to take care of immediate danger, we would thrive

instead of developing a world where your emotions are suppressed and squashed due to the culture built off of suffering of the many for the luxury of a few, wouldn't it be nice to just...

live?

truly truly live

bills don't exist

you have clean water, food, shelter, electricity, and internet

the community takes care of you and you take care of your community when you can

and the rest is just.....

up to you

theres a reason why the cliché of "life is what you make of it" exists

so people would have the opportunities to pursue what makes themselves happy

or make a miserable lives for themselves, dealing with whatever consequences may come

but they'll be alive to make new decisions

they won't have to make mistakes from being worried sick about how to survive in a world where community is being strangled right before our eyes

idk

thats my utopia

everyone has their basic needs met

if people are assholes, they dont have the power to make other people's lives miserable with their own unhappiness

basically; my utopia is you get to hang out with whoever you want

if someone sucks you can just fuckin leave

they can't control your shelter, clean water, food, electricity, or internet

and if they find themselves alone with no one that wants to be around them, they need to do some haaaaaaard soul searching

I just wanna hang out for a living man

why is that so hard

it shouldn't be

but im hopeful, that one day it won't be hard

were at a point in human history we've never been at before

more connected than ever, yet more isolated because of systems before us out of our control

but

those systems were made by people

so why can't we change it?

[ghostlygraphist]

ai generated mushroom guides could get people killed

'i'm not going to link any of them here, for a variety of reasons, but please be aware of what is probably the deadliest AI scam i've ever heard of: plant and fungi foraging guide books. the authors are invented, their credentials are invented, and their species IDs will kill you"

"update: i keep getting annoyed that the QTs are like "if this is true, it's horrifying" ..but you're right, you don't know me from a hole in the ground and you SHOULD worry about the veracity of anything you find online."

thread source

so i went looking

the full description:

How to quickly become a confident mushroom forager without fear of misidentifying poisonous lookalikes!

Have you dreamt about becoming more self-sufficient and sourcing your own fresh, local ingredients?

Do you want to start sustainably foraging so you can become healthier and happier?

Have you thought about harvesting wild mushrooms but afraid you won’t be able to tell the edible and poisonous species apart?

Then this book is for you!

Save money and enjoy the delicacies that nature has to offer. Mushroom hunting is easier than you think, and less dangerous than everyone assumes.

Wild plant foraging is increasing in popularity with celebrity chefs and small cafes jumping on the bandwagon and using locally foraged produce in their food.

There are so many benefits of foraging to your health (physical and mental) and even the environment!

In Fearless Foraging in the Rocky Mountains, you’ll discover:

Over 40 species of mushroom you can harvest all year round

Complimentary access to the mobile-friendly Digital Field Guide that includes high-resolution photos and descriptions of all edible mushrooms and any toxic lookalikes so you don’t have to worry about misidentifying species

How to correctly create (and use) spore prints to help you figure out what’s what

An annual mushroom calendar so you can keep track of the mushrooms by season and make the most of each foraging season

Detailed descriptions of the anatomical properties of fungi - gain the essential knowledge you need to correctly identify species

Tips on sustainable foraging - and ways to increase the natural mushroom count for next time you visit!

And much more!

Foraging is a tradition upheld for centuries by indigenous people who used ancient, respectful principles to live off the land. Connect with that history by embracing the artful skills and knowledge to confidently collect food for your meals.

Even if you're still worried about toxic mushrooms, let this guide reassure you. Included are incredibly high-level descriptions and details to use so you don’t get it wrong. NOTE: To keep it economically prices, our paperback version is printed in black and white. Premium color is available in our hardcover version. Both will provide the quality necessary to identify wild mushrooms and plants and both come with access to the full color, high-resolution Digital Field Guide.

If you want to learn the skillful art of foraging mushrooms and enjoy nature's nutritious bounties then scroll up and click the “Add to Cart” button now.

end description

wild harvest publications... no named author? i n t e r e s t i n g

"To keep it economically prices" hmm *the design is very human meme*

this book that promises highly detailed descriptions doesn't even have color images unless you pay a premium

"Mushroom hunting is easier than you think, and less dangerous than everyone assumes." hmm. hmmmmm. yeah the government definitely put out those 'if you don't know what it is don't put it in your mouth' PSAs for no reason

tldr don't buy foraging guides off amazon if you can't locate a human author and verify their credentials yourself

[daydreamingleclerc]

corrupt // mason mount

in which; he’s the university’s superstar sports player, and you’re just an innocent little bookworm. he walks you home one night after commotion in the street and you can’t help but offer him inside.

includes; corruption kink, uncomfortable cat calling, master manipulation, excessive usage of pet names (it gets annoying, sorry), dom!mason, sub!reader, foul language, fingering, oral (m, f rec), choking, protected sex, squirting, swearing, a sprinkle of CNC.

i was listening to sk8er boi by avril lavigne and it spiraled into this. i’m not sorry. thanks @landopeaches for helping me w all the ideas and being there to lust over mason with throughout the process <3

this is filthy. and just under 10K words. please read at your own risk. don’t say i didn’t want you.

22:04. 

the library didn’t normally stay open this late on friday nights, especially during the week of varsity, but you had a way with words and a very appreciated knack for batting your eyelashes.  

“i think it’s-” 

“-ssh, i'm writing,” you held a hand up to your housemate and best friend, becca, as you finished your train of thought before your new column ultimately came crashing to a halt, “okay, continue.”  

she sat beside you, flicking through a book she clearly had no interest in. she’d given up on her sociology assignment long ago, as had savannah, who was now half asleep on one of the sofa’s further down the room. aside from the odd one or two chess club players downstairs, you were the only three in there.  

“i think it’s probably a good idea for us to get going,” becca hummed, and much to your distaste, savannah had never been happier. “it’s ten p.m on a friday night, y/n, why don’t we all go pick up some food and watch a movie?”  

savannah had already gotten her jacket on and slipped her bag over her shoulder. she didn’t need anymore persuasion.  

“you guys go ahead,” you responded, wiggling with the mouse of your laptop as the screen dimmed, “i’ll catch up soon, i just have to finish this section of next weeks column,” becca scowled at you and before she could open her mouth, you eased her racing thoughts, “becca, i'll be fine. just pick me something and i'll pay you back later. i promise i'll be home before eleven.”  

the house that the three of you lived in with two of your other housemates was only a short walk away from campus and that gave you roughly forty minutes to finish up this segment. savannah yawned and becca still looked unimpressed.  

“you’d better be,” she picked her bag up off the back of her chair and slid it on her shoulder. she left a kiss on the top of your head, “because if i find your dead body in a back alley tomorrow morning, i'll kill you.”  

“charming,” savannah yawned. “love you, y/n.”  

“love you.” becca gave you a reluctant wave as she walked down the stairs of the library.  

you didn’t leave long after the girls and as you exited the warmth of the library and walked out into the crisp april chill, you regretted not bringing a thicker jacket to cocoon yourself as you walked home. blaring music came from all angles, as did the stares and wandering eyes.  

it was clear to all eyes you weren’t making your way to or from a party, dressed in a white sundress with cherries printed on the fabric and a white knitted cardigan. the pockets of the cardigan gaped with just your mobile phone, id and house keys inside them – you'd rented out a locker for the night to keep your laptop safe rather than dragging it back home and threatening to drop it.  

as you turned the corner onto the main loop of on-campus flats, your palms grew sweaty. you had to pass the flats and walk across the courtyard – which was full of spillover students itching to go out to either one of the clubs in town – to get to the back gate so you could slip out into the car park and cross into your estate to get home.  

a drunken body bumped into you as you crossed the road, and in turn your phone fell out of your hand as you tripped up the curb. you managed to steady yourself but unfortunately for you, your little stumble had caught the eye of a small group of drunken boys.  

“hey sugar, you look lost, fancy coming up here with us?”  

you didn’t recognize any of them, which was unusual considering they looked like the kind of boys who did sports, and you were a columnist in the university newspaper. you only did two sports columns a month, and the rest were focused on arts media – which was your degree, after all – because of that, you knew everybody.  

you knew you should’ve responded, told them to fuck off, or at least say no; but you didn’t. you froze. all you did was shake your head, and when they got closer your legs began to speed up.  

“hey, i was talking to you,” the same voice echoed, “don’t walk away from me when i'm just trying to have a conversation.”  

you fought off the urge to throw up. confrontation was something you despised, especially in front of a big crowd. “are you deaf?” the voice shouted, clearly agitated now, and you could hear it getting closer and closer until it was virtually behind you.  

mason, one of the school’s star ex-students and most glorified alumni noticed the commotion going on in the courtyard. luckily enough, he was stood with a friend who was smoking outside in a small congregation of people waiting to head to another party. he recognized you from the times you’d sat out on the pitch during games with your notepad and fluffy pink pen, that would always get dampened when the inevitable rain kicked in. he had a lot of time for you, even if you had no idea.  

“i’m offering you sex on a plate here, love-”  

“-gareth, piss off.”  

your heart felt like it was pounding out of your chest in that moment, and when a familiar face stepped out of the shadows, you let out a puff of air. your eyes caught mason’s, and immediately he rushed over to you.  

“y/n, are you okay?” his hand rested softly on your shoulder and massaged the hot flesh of your skin in an attempt to calm you. he waited for you to nod, and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “you’re freezing, do you want to borrow my jacket?”  

you shook your head and couldn’t help getting lost in the way he got the boys to mutter an apology and scramble away with their tails – dicks – between their legs.  

“where are you off to?”  

“uh, i, um,” you pinched the bridge of your nose and tried to compose your thoughts. in the three years you’d known mason, he’d never once touched you this way. a complimentary nod of the head after a quick post-match interview or a stolen glance in the hall followed by a soft smile were all the emotional bridges you’d built together. “i'm on my way home.”  

mason gestured to his friends to go on without him as he continued to walk with an arm around your shoulder. “i’ll walk you home, babe, okay?” he hooked his thumb under your chin and got you to look over at him, “i’ve just got to stop off at a party and show my face for ten minutes, whereabouts do you live?”  

“uh, forty-two goodwood drive.” your voice came out quieter than expected, and mason hummed, nodding his head when his lips formed a smile.  

“perfect, the parties at twenty-eight goodwood drive, we can stop off there for ten minutes, have a drink and then i can walk you to the door.”  

“we?” you frowned, “i'm not good with big crowds, mason.”  

he tutted, “that’s a lie, remember last year when you stood up in front of all the freshers with that powerpoint on how they could join the school newspaper?”  

you were shocked he remembered that, and it took you a minute to compute his words and formulate a response. “that was different, it was work related,” a knot formed between your eyebrows and that usual smirk had found its way back to mason’s face. it seemed to be a permanent feature. “honestly, mason. it's fine, i can walk myself home.”  

“no, darling. i've said i'll walk you home, please,” he stopped to look at you for a minute, and the knot between your eyebrows released as if subconsciously, “let me at least walk you home.”  

it flattered you that mason mount of all people was willing to walk you home. not even men you dated offered to do that. and he had almost begged you.  

“if you insist.”  

he patted your shoulder with the tips of his fingers and you began walking again, safe in the cage of his arm. 

“atta girl.”  

22:50 

it seemed to be a night of firsts.  

for the first time, the campus celebrities, as becca called them, had allowed you into their party as if you were one of their own. mason had poured you a drink and you held the red cup between both hands to hide the shakes. you wanted to say they’d come on because of the drunken cat calling, but you knew on the surface it was because mason was keeping you close.  

you were thankful, nobody really knew you at this party other than maybe two people, one of them being mason. it was clear you were uncomfortable; the push and shove of drunken antics wasn’t something you were particularly used to. you knew your limits, and at the grand old age of twenty-three, you expected everybody else to know theirs, too.   

it seemed, wherever mason was, a flock of people followed. he had his very own fan club. mason was already a student when you’d arrived, he'd graduated university from his sports science combined course a year early because he was scouted by a football agent and now he was off playing league football and crushing it, you had to admit. he still had a lot of friends here and came back semi-regularly to join in on the parties and sex. 

the pair of you sat down on a plush suede sofa, and he noticed you checking your watch for the time. you’d been twiddling your thumbs at this party as mason’s impromptu plus one for twenty-five minutes, and you anxiously tapped your fingers on your knees. you were supposed to be home in seven minutes.  

“whats up, princess?”  

your cheeks heated up at the use of his constant pet names, but this one seemed to take the cake. “i told my housemates i'd be back at the house for eleven.”  

when he flashed that signature mason smirk that you found yourself fawning over for months, the familiar knot formed between your eyebrows. “you can allow yourself to be a little bit late, darling,” mason’s expression then mimicked yours, “do they keep tabs on you like they own you or something?”  

his question took you by surprise. it was the first proper rude thing he’d said to you all night, and that’s how you expected him to be around you, but so far, he was everything but. “i’m kidding,” he suppressed a chuckle and scooted closer, “just tell them you’re gonna be a little late, babe. don't worry, you’re safe with me.”  

he shot you a wink, and it sent butterflies swarming around your body and wetness pooling in your underwear. this was probably the most turned on a man had ever made you, and he hadn’t even touched you, or said anything remotely sexual. 

before mason could open his mouth, a boy you vaguely recognized as someone from the hockey team slid over and sat on the corner of the coffee table. immediately, they got into conversation, and you found yourself once again admiring the way he held himself. you snapped out of it almost instantly. 

“who's the girl then, mase? got yourself a new toy?” 

“his new what?”  

“got myself a new what?”  

yours and mason’s questions overlapped, and immediately his friend could sense that what he said was wrong. he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or apologize, and then he saw mason’s expression and chose the latter. he scurried off, and you placed your cup down on the coffee table in front of you.  

“i think i should just go,” as you went to get up, mason grabbed your wrist and you caught one another's eyes, “mason, please.”  

he pleaded with his eyes to get you to stay, “don’t listen to anything dom says, sweetheart,” mason scowled in his direction and dom couldn’t help but keep flickering his eyes over at the pair of you in regret, “he doesn’t know his brains from his balls, and that’s why he’s on the hockey team.”  

he pulled a laugh from your lips and it immediately put him at ease.  

“promise you won’t listen?” his hand brushed your knee, and you fought every inebriated urge you had to not pounce on him.  

“mhm, i promise, mason,” you smiled, placing your hand on top of his. he smiled and scooted closer ever so slightly, “thank you.”  

“good girl,” his words ignited a flame inside of your stomach, and the wet patch inside your underwear grew significantly. you'd never been called those words before, and he knew what he was doing when the knowing smirk grew. “would you like another drink?”  

“yes, please,” you squeezed your legs together when his fingers brushed closer as he stood up, and he knew how he made you feel within seconds. you grabbed his fingers as he lifted them from your leg. you looked so innocent he could’ve exploded. “don’t be too long, please.”  

“you’re so cute when you’re clingy,” he watched as your cheeks lit up in heat, “i'll only be over there. two minutes, tops.”  

eleven o'clock had been and gone. becca and savannah had tried to ring multiple times to stick their noses in and find out what was going on, but you’d be leaving soon, and once mason had walked you to the door, they’d be all yours to gossip with.  

you shifted in your spot, and tried to peel yourself off the sofa without distracting mason from his conversation with somebody you didn’t recognize at all, but it was unsuccessful. “where are you going, babe?”  

“i need to pee,” you shifted again, and got up successfully without mason stopping you. he finished his conversation abruptly and you almost rolled your eyes, “where are the toilets?”  

“i’ll take you.”  

“i don’t need you to be my bodyguard, mason. just tell me where the toilets are and i'll go on my own.”  

his lip quirked up into a hint of a smile. you got sassy when you’d had a drink. that boded well for him and his everlasting thoughts of you in compromising positions.  

“darling, with all due respect you don’t know anybody here and i don’t want you wandering,” he finished the dregs of his drink, “i'll take you and then we can leave, c’mon, give me your drink.”  

“why?”  

“because i don’t want people seeing you holding it and it getting spiked, c’mon.” 

you gave in rather easily and handed mason your half-full cup with a thoughtful smile. you hadn’t gone for a wee since before you left the library, and now you’d been holding it for a while it was something of a relief to be going. he took you to another bathroom, one in a less quiet part of the house. he had clearly been here multiple times before.  

“you’re not gonna come in with me too, are you?”  

“depends,” mason shrugged, “are you offering?”  

you swatted his arm with a friendly punch, even though a part of you wanted to say yes and have him take you then and there in the bathroom. the door unlocked and a couple walked out, hair in disarray and clothes mismatched. brilliant.  

“you just wait at the door, big guy.” 

it stank of weed and sex in the room as you homed in on your surroundings as you peed. what started out as a stressful night had soon become enjoyable, and all thoughts of anxiety you had before you arrived at the party had washed away. you couldn’t hear mason at the door, even though you wouldn’t have been able to anyway because of the thumping bass; but you half expected him to be gone by the time you opened the door.  

you wiped your hands on your dress and smoothed over your hair in the mirror. your mascara smudged in both corners of your eyes, and you cleaned it up, merging the outer smudges into your eyeliner. mason was stood with a soft smile on his face when you walked out, and you mimicked it, “i expected you to have found someone better to spend your evening with, thank you for waiting.” 

“better than you?” he handed you your cardigan, the one you didn’t even realize you were missing, and you slipped your arms into it, “impossible, darling.”  

you blushed again and covered your face with your hands, suppressing a delicate giggle from masons ears. he made sure the cardigan was on your shoulders, and a shiver trickled down your spine when he pulled your hair out, so it wasn’t trapped between fabrics.  

“okay princess, finish your drink,” he handed you the cup and you downed it in one, trusting him enough in that moment to know that he wouldn’t spike it, and he raised his eyebrows, impressed, “all in one, good girl.”  

your mind raced at the dirty scenario echoing through it, and heat pooled all over your body. you were honestly surprised you couldn’t feel your own slick on your thighs. nobody had ever made you feel like this before, and mason loved the hold he had on your achingly innocent persona. you subconsciously bit your lip and mason fought off a guttural moan.  

“what’s with that expression, darling, hm? was it something i said?”  

you opened your mouth to react, but he pinched your hip, laughed and wrapped an arm around your shoulders once again, the pair of you wandering down the hall like nobody's business. 

he checked the time on your watch as you walked, lifting up your wrist as if it were a feather, and pulled a faux shocked face at the time. “oh dear, sweetheart,” he tutted, “eleven eighteen, your owners will be waiting up for you.”  

you rolled your eyes at his jab, the second rude one of the night. one more and you’d be summoning up the courage to punch him in the face.  

“they aren’t my owners, mason. they're my friends and they care.”  

the two of you stepped out into the cold night air, your nipples hardening against the lace of your bra and scratching against the cotton of your dress. your thighs immediately came up in goosebumps and the cold was a nice juxtaposition to the heat pulsing your clit.  

“so you’ve never submitted to anyone, darling?” he asked, shoving his free hand in his jacket pocket, ignoring the crowds of people wandering the streets and girls throwing up in bushes, “let them take complete ownership of you? let yourself go?”  

his words shot straight to your core. you fumbled for a reply.  

“uh, no, i.. um, i don’t think so.”  

stupid reply.  

“you don’t think so? oh, sweetheart. you'd know if you did,” as you got closer to your house, a swarm of longing pulled at your chest and you yearned for him now, in a way you’d never yearned for anybody in your life. “but then again, you’ve never tried it with me.”  

the last part was muttered, and you could barely hear it.  

“what?” you whined, the short, abrupt question coming out in a far more sexual tone than necessary.  

“nothing for you to worry about darling,” he patted your cheek softly, “look, you’re home now.”  

you half expected him to fall back on his promise, to walk away now and leave you high and dry. to leave you to sort out the mess he’d created, but you’d yearn for more than just the touch of your own fingertips or the ripple of a vibrator. you just didn’t know how to ask him. 

he walked you right up to the door, as he said he would.  

“thank you, mason,” you smiled. everything inside of you screamed to ask if he wanted to come inside, but when you opened your mouth, you just found the question too overwhelming. “i... uh...” 

“what’s up darling?” he questioned, “don’t be shy. use your words.”  

he smirked at the way you shivered. there was that feeling between your legs. again.  

“do you... um. will you come in?”  

he couldn’t help but lean across to kiss you. your lips soft against his slightly rough ones, and your hands flew up to his chest and your palms rested on the warmth of his white shirt. he kissed by the book, exactly how you imagined he would, and when he took your bottom lip between his teeth and swiped his tongue along it, you yelped.  

you were too innocent, like bubble wrap left unpopped. he wanted to corrupt you from the inside out.  

his dick hardened in his jeans. 

“want me to make sure that you get into bed safe?” you nodded and his thumb brushed your bottom lip, and in a bold move you took it into your mouth and circled your tongue around it. you'd never done that to anybody in your life. it even shocked you.  

“god,” mason groaned, finding the doorhandle with his free hand, “such an obedient little girl, hm?”  

23:27 

when becca and savannah saw mason standing in their hallway with a playboy smirk dressed over his face and a charm they just couldn’t resist, they couldn’t quite believe it. it boded worse for you in the long run, because they now saw with their own eyes that he was standing in your hallway, and they would be pacing around the livingroom until he left in the early hours so they could finally get their answers. becca was on the netball team, so mason recognized her.  

“hey, becca,” he hummed, as effortlessly as ever. as if he didn’t just make out with you on your own damn porch. “still playing netball?”  

she towered over him, her five-foot twelve slim frame was the perfect one for netball and she used it to her advantage, even if she wasn’t that good at the sport.  

“mhm,” she nodded, snapping out of her trance for a minute. savannah was still simply stood next to becca in awe, “thanks for bringing y/n home.”  

“it was my pleasure,” he looked at you and smiled, and your entire body rocked with heat. “she’s asked me to stick around for an hour or two, if that’s okay with you two, of course?”  

you couldn’t help the little smirk that quipped at the corners of your mouth and you hid your face in his bicep. mason was playing into the joke he’d made earlier at becca and savannah being your owners. the pair of them nodded, and mason looked over at you.  

“where’s your bedroom, darling?”  

savannah almost choked when she heard the pet name.  

“uh, top floor on the left,” his hand ran down your arm and his fingers entwined with yours as he walked to the stairs, and once again you tugged on his fingers, “would you like some tea?”  

mason's mind raced. your innocence really wasn’t an act. he wanted to pity you, or patronize you, or build up an orgasm until it bubbled up inside of you and you squeaked and squealed and thrashed around in his arms until you begged him to let you cum. his dick grew again, but he just smiled.  

“sure, darling,” he squeezed your fingers, “milk and two sugars, please.”  

you nodded and watched as he walked straight up to the top floor of the house. you averted both becca and savannah’s eyes as you walked past them through into the kitchen. pizza boxes sat on the counter, with one unopened for you.  

“what the fuck was all that about?” savannah questioned.  

you unintentionally ignored her, to focused on drowning out the slick between your legs. nobody had ever made you feel this way, nobody had ever left you as needy or as desperate for sex as he had. in all fairness, you’d only had sex with one person, and it wasn’t even that good.  

becca snapped her fingers in front of your eyes and you zoned back into the conversation. you smiled.  

“oh, uh, he walked me home and we got to talking,” you shrugged as you pulled the milk from the fridge, “turns out we get on well, so i invited him in.”  

“go y/n,” savannah clapped her hands together, “finally got a sexu-” 

“-bye girls, thanks for the pizza!”  

as you juggled with two cups of tea and the box of unopened pizza, mason walked into your kitchen. he'd already made himself at home, it seemed, seeing as his jacket and shoes were back up in your bedroom. “need some help, princess?” he asked, and when the pet name arose again you blushed heavily, and mason took the pizza box from your hand, “see you girls later.”  

23:52 

“i’m so boring, aren’t i?”  

you asked him. you couldn’t help it.  

you were sat between his legs and watching a movie on your teeny tiny tv screen at the foot of your bed. mason's eyebrows furrowed and he stroked at the skin on your arm. he couldn’t help but kiss the back of your head.  

“not at all, darling. why do you say that?”  

you shrugged, too embarrassed to answer. sex never came easy to you, you were the stereotypical bookworm student. you stayed out of trouble, you did your assignments and handed them in way before they were due. you were co-editor of the student newspaper, for fucks sake. you weren't the kind of girl that brought home hot, sexy, god-like alumni into her bedroom on friday nights just for a hook up.  

mason knew that, and it was all part of the reason you enamored him.  

“i’m not... i just... i'm... frigid.”  

mason tutted and tucked some hair behind your ear, “you aren’t frigid, darling. you just need someone to loosen you up a little bit, someone to answer to, don’t you?”  

you felt his dick grow harder underneath you, and it sent a shiver up your spine. you nodded, and mason spun your head around, so you were looking at him. his breath was hot on your face and you heaved for a breath when his fingers found your thighs.  

“there’s so much i wish i could do to you, little one,” you gulped audibly, a shaky, hot breath, “but i won’t do it if you aren’t ready.”  

“w-what.. um, w-what do you want to do?”  

mason's fingers grazed higher and higher up your leg, and he was painstakingly close to the sticky slick on your inner high thighs.  

“i want to do so much to you, darling, but i fear if i tell you, you’ll break my heart,” his fingers grazed at the soaked cotton of your pants and he laughed lowly, “but then again, if i tell you, it might make you wetter than you have been all night.”  

you mewled when he dragged his finger between your folds over your underwear. you opened your mouth to ask him a question, but he shushed it with his free hand, bringing the tip of his index finger to the middle of your plump lips. “is this the first time you’ve been touched here, darling?” you shook your head. “yes? no? use your words.”  

“n-no, mason.”  

“you’re not a virgin?”  

“shockingly, no,” your sarcastic comment left mason pinching your clit over your underwear and you yelped, “i’ve had sex once before.”  

“just once?” he questioned, and watched the way your body writhed when he finally pushed the damp cotton aside to stroke your clit. he could’ve growled at the feeling of your pussy in his hand. “oh, darling, you’ve got so much to learn.”  

mason's fingers worked expertly on your clit, and you couldn’t help but widen your legs. he certainly found it with ease, which is more than you can say for the guy you lost your virginity to. you lifted your hips and mason helped you wriggle free from the cotton restraint, and his mouth was watering at the thought of your bare, naked pussy. he wanted to scoot around and lick it.  

“was he good, baby?” mason asked, lips nibbling along the outer shell of your ear. “did he touch your clit like this, hm? or did he -” with his free hand, mason rubbed at your nipples through your dress and bra, “- roll your nipples like this? hm?”  

you wriggled around and let his fingers explore your body, itching to let him touch you more. “n-no, mason. he didn’t touch me like this.”  

mason tutted, “come on, baby, what did he do?”  

“he used me to make himself feel good,” you hummed, getting more and more used to the fact that he was swirling your clit around with his fingers, “i didn’t enjoy anything.” 

“such a shame, darling. you're gonna be used to make me feel good, but i promise you’ll enjoy it because i know how to handle innocent little girls like you,” he kissed your neck, “i was hoping to be the first person to bury myself inside your pretty little cunt, but i'll just have to be the first to do everything else.” he chuckled lowly at the way your breath hitched, and when he slapped your clit it made you jolt.  

“did he ever make you cum?”  

you shook your head.  

“n-no, mason.”  

another clit slap.  

“why are you slapping me?” you pouted, “have i done something wrong?” 

the confusion was evident on your face. you couldn’t figure out why he was slapping you, and the crease between your eyebrows formed. mason’s hand moved from your chest to your chin and turned your face to his. “are you going to address me by my name like a good girl?”  

the crease deepened and mason couldn’t help but laugh at you, and you frowned.  

“w-what?”  

“are you going to be a good girl for daddy?” your heart almost jumped out of your chest. your eyes grew a shade darker with lust and mason didn’t go unnoticed. he slapped your pussy again. “answer, princess.”  

“d-daddy?” you questioned, and mason almost blew a load in his pants.  

“mhm, yes princess. understood?”  

you nodded your head. “yes, daddy. thank you, daddy.” 

he rolled his eyes and released a groan, unable to suppress it any longer, and now he could feel a wet patch of pre-cum forming in his pants. “fucking hell, babygirl, you’re gonna be the death of me, aren’t you?” he shifted, and moved so you were now sitting against the headboard and he was staring down at you. he got down to his knees, the way his breath hitched when he was face to face with your pussy made your back tingle. “do you want me to eat this pretty little cunt?”  

“uh.. uhm.. okay,” you hesitated. mason noticed and began to massage your thighs with his fingers, digging into the soft flesh. “i’ve never... um. nobody has ever...”  

“relax, princess, i'll make you feel good. it's all part of daddy’s job to look after his little girl.”  

a rush of blood swarmed to your clit and you moaned softly at his words. he was corrupting you already. he traced the cherries on the hem of your dress, “these are pretty fruits, baby, can you tell me what they are?”  

he began to kiss your inner thighs in that moment.  

“uhm, they’re cherries, d-daddy.”  

“mhm, well done darling,” you wriggled when his teeth sunk into the flesh of your thigh, but he soon soothed the sting when his tongue ran over it, and it formed a pretty mark of his teeth, “tell you what, princess. if anything gets too much – today, or ever – in one of these situations, you just say cherries, just like the ones on your pretty dress.” 

you nodded, but you were still confused. “why do i have to say cherries though?”  

“because, baby, sometimes your brain won’t be working properly and you’ll need a distinct word that means stop, do you understand?” you nodded again, and mason’s fingers traced your pussy again. he wasn’t looking at you now, his attention had been drawn to your clit, red and aching, but he was still talking. “it’s easier for daddy to pick up on that word rather than stop, baby, because sometimes i won’t be listening. i need to make sure you’re safe.”  

“w-why?” you could feel his fingers swirling around your inner lips and you fought every urge for a moan. 

“because, you’re my submissive, and as your dominant, i have a duty of care over you.”  

you shivered at that. your head was spinning so fast it felt like it was going to fall off. mason's tongue had darted out of his mouth and licked at your clit, you jolted, but he didn’t put it away. instead, wherever your hips dragged you, he followed, his lips never leaving your clit. his tongue flicked repetitively, and his lips suctioned around it, sucking at your clit as if he were drinking through a straw. 

as you wriggled, mason's arms caged your hips down onto the bed, so now you were unable to wriggle away and you cried out his name in a weak, pathetic little moan. he pulled off of your clit with a pop, “oh, babygirl,” he tutted, “you can do better than that for me, can’t you? i know you can.”  

he licked a teasing stripe up your pussy and delved around your hole, where his tongue slipped inside and you yelped, bucking your hips up into his face and crying out his name again. “oh, mason... oh.. fu- your tongue.. feels so good,” the sensation tingling away inside of you was one you’d never felt during sex before, and the pad of a tongue licking and lapping at your clit felt particularly strange. “oh.. god.”  

mason used his hands to part your lips further, allowing his face to be buried deeper into you and your hands sprung to his hair. he hummed against your clit as he licked, nibbled and swirled his tongue, and the pleasure was almost unbearable. he bumped your clit with his nose when his tongue slipped back inside you again, and raised his eyes so he was looking directly into yours. the contact was almost too much, and the butterflies were beginning to get overwhelming. your orgasm was fast approaching.  

he held your legs open further and pushed the hem of your dress up, so it rested at your bellybutton. you could see his nose and cheeks glistening with your wetness, and the butterflies that swarmed in your stomach had begun to travel south.  

“d-d-daddy... i... i can... i'm all tingly... i think i'm gonna...”  

mason pulled away from you right as you felt like the dam was going to open, and you whined, thrashing around in protest. he raised an eyebrow, “you need to ask daddy for permission to cum, little one,” he slapped the inside of your thigh and you winced, biting down on your bottom lip, “because your pretty little cunt is his, and you need to ask for permission to use something you don’t own.”  

oh.  

he lay there, waiting patiently.  

“can i please cum, daddy?”  

mason was satisfied with your plea, at least for now. he wasn’t going to have you begging until you cried this time. “of course, princess,” he hummed, delving back into your pussy. you mewled and he mumbled against your clit, “daddy’s pretty little cunt.”  

with that, your orgasm hit you. you thrashed around at the feeling, lifting your hips off the bed. immediately, mason’s hands splayed under your bum, holding you up as he continued to eat like his last meal. you cried out, almost screaming at the sensation. becca always talked about her boyfriend doing this, and you never understood why she liked it so much – until now.  

you tapped at mason’s head when you couldn’t take it anymore, and he pulled off of your clit with a pop. his entire chin glistened, and it ignited a fire in your eyes. arousal seeped through your veins, and mason couldn’t help but laugh against your lips when you sat up and pulled him closer by the collar of his knitted jumper.  

in a bold move, your hand dropped to his crotch and you felt his dick, rock hard and straining his jeans. you blushed upon having the realisation that you’d never sucked anyone off before, and you were almost definitely about to suck off mason. that, and his dick felt fucking huge.  

“what’s up, little one?”  

mason pulled away from your lips and tucked the loose hair behind your ear, and you couldn’t help but bury your head into his neck. he hooked his hand under your cheek and lifted you up softly, looking deep into your eyes. there was a moment of peace, where he scanned your eyes for any discomfort, but you were determined to see it through.  

“it feels... big.”  

your cheeks felt hotter than the sahara desert by this point, and mason chuckled at your innocence.  

“do you think so, babygirl?” he questioned, and his fingers curled around yours and made you squeeze at it. he groaned at the contact. “should we see if you’re right, hm?”  

you nodded eagerly, and mason almost fainted when your eyes grew black with lust. he placed your hand firmly back into your lap, and he stood up to pull his shirt off. you almost drooled at the sight of his naked torso, and the tattoo’s scattered around it. he unlooped his belt effortlessly, and within seconds his jeans were tossed to the floor. his dick was so hard that the tip poked out from the waistband of his jeans, red and desperate for some attention.  

he kept his eyes on yours to gage your reaction as he pulled down his boxers. you were right. it was huge. and thick. it inflated mason’s ego to triple the size it already was, and he loved how easy you were becoming, but this was only the tip of the iceberg. he wanted to make you his, and by the end of the night, he would make sure you were the only girl that he was corrupting. 

“t-that’s supposed to fit... i-inside me?”  

“mhm,” mason’s hand jacked himself off as he stood up at the edge of the bed, your head at the perfect height to suck. “it will, baby, and it will hurt, but i'll make it fit, you haven’t got to worry about a thing,” he pinched your cheek and you subconsciously smiled. commotion went on outside your bedroom door, one of your housemates was sneaking along the landing, and it caught your attention, but mason pulled your head back to face him with his finger hooked under your chin, “it’s not gonna suck itself, darling.”  

you gulped. “i’ve... i haven’t... you're going to have to teach me, daddy.”   

mason had to stop jacking himself off and pause for a moment in fear of ejaculating all over your face at the sentence that just left your mouth.  

“okay, princess, but first you’ll need to take this off,” he ruffled the hem of your dress and you frowned, “don’t give me that look, babygirl. it's only fair.”  

you hooked your arms out of your bra and dress all in one, and mason helped you step out of it steadily. his breath hitched when he saw you naked, drinking in the sight of your naked body. you'd never looked more beautiful, and he’d never been so desperate to be buried inside of someone.  

he leaned down to kiss your lips, and then slid down onto the bed, so his head was at the pillows. you followed suite, kneeling down at his side. he guided your hand to his dick silently, and you giggled softly when he helped you move your hand up and down, “that’s good, baby,” he said, running his fingers up to your wrist to loosen the movement slightly, “now lean over so your mouth is hovering over it, and spit on the head.”  

“t-the head?”  

“the tip, baby, the tip,” mason chuckled at your innocence, and you did as he asked. spit hung from the tip of your outsplayed tongue and trickled down to the head of his penis. as you smeared it around with your hand, your thumb ran over the slit of his dick and he jolted, a groan tumbling from his lips. your eyes shot up to face him, looking like a dear in the headlights as you feared you did something wrong, but mason shook his head. “that’s good darling, so good. why don’t you – fuck – why don’t you try and take it in your mouth.”  

you leaned down, so your lips were millimeters from his dick, and took a deep breath. you’d always envisioned doing this, and who it would be with, and none of your fantasies could ever compare to this.  

your lips pursed around the head, taking just that into your mouth and looking up at mason through your eyelashes. he seemed to like that a lot judging by the way he looked down at you and nodded. “okay, little one, you’re doing such a good job,” he patted your head subconsciously, “now, alternate between bobbing your head, twisting your hand and running your tongue around the head. just get a feel for it, darling, okay? i don’t want to cum just yet.”  

you nodded, and much to your surprise you enjoyed the compromising position you had been put in. mason made it feel so easy, so comfortable, and it made your heart flutter and your pussy throb. you began to bob your head gradually, taking more and more in with every move. mason admired your innocence and every time he remembered that his dick was the first one you’d had inside your mouth – your sweet, innocent, virgin mouth – he wanted to bust a load.  

“oh god, yes, little one,” mason’s hand bunched your hair up in his hand out of habit, and you gagged around him as he thrusted up into your mouth ever so slightly, “you’re doing so well for me, got such a pretty little mouth.”  

you moaned, and the vibrations sent shockwaves up his dick and all over his body. he thrusted up into your mouth and you gagged again, your eyes watering at the sensation but you liked it. “play with my – fuck – play with my balls, baby, just squeeze them gently,” mason cooed, smoothing your cheeks with his free hand, and you did as you were told, halting the movements of your hand stroking his dick so you could use it to stabilize you as you fondled his balls. he groaned loudly, “fuuuck, baby. that's it, such a good little girl.”  

he thrusted up into your mouth again and this time spit came spluttering out of your mouth and landed along the prickly skin around his pubic bone. your eyes watered again, so much so that the tears soaked your eyelashes and mason lowered his hips. “you okay, baby? do you wanna stop?”  

you nodded sheepishly. mason's dick fell from your mouth and the tip rested at his bellybutton. he noticed your knotted eyebrows, “what’s up, darling?”  

“my mouth.. it tastes weird.” 

he chuckled and couldn’t believe how innocent you were.  

“that’s because it’s no longer a virgin mouth, little one. it's now forever tainted with the taste of my pre-cum,” he leaned over and kissed your lips, swiping his tongue across your bottom lip, “you’re going to be tainted with my taste forever now, baby. never getting rid of me.”  

he used his strength to roll you over, so you were now laying with your head at the pillows. he admired how pretty you looked. anxiety pounded in your chest, and you suddenly got overwhelmed, but you knew it would pass, it was just nerves. mason noticed, and tucked some hair behind your ear.  

“do you remember your word, darling?”  

“cherries, daddy.”  

“good girl,” he leaned down to kiss your lips, “if you want daddy to stop, you need to use that word, understood?”  

“mhm,” you nodded, and leaned up to kiss him. he chuckled at your neediness. “there’s.. um... i have... in the bathroom cabinet.. there’s some... condoms.”  

“daddy’s shy little girl wants him to fuck her, hm?”  

you mewled underneath him and fought off a blush by buring your head in the pillows when his finger grazed between your folds, and you jolted at the sensitivity, “please, daddy, i... i... i need it. i need you.”  

mason fought back the urge to fuck you raw.  

“babygirl, listen to yourself beg for me,” he tutted, standing up and slipping on your dressing gown momentarily to go to the bathroom, “such a naughty little thing, hm? weren’t like this an hour ago. i've turned you into a little slut, haven’t i?”  

the last part of the sentence was partially shouted as he wandered into the bathroom you shared with another housemate, and you could’ve died there and then. you only hoped everyone else was minding their own damn business.  

he came back with a handful of condoms, and the dressing gown was tossed to the floor with the rest of the clothes. “go on, baby, say you’re daddy’s little slut,” he teased, “otherwise i'll leave you high and dry, begging for my cock all night.”  

your cheeks heated up as you opened your mouth. mason stood there, cock on full display, waiting patiently. you took a breath, “you’ve turned me into a little slut, daddy.”  

he made a satisfied hum noise and ripped the condom open with ease. you watched as he rolled it on and he climbed back on the bed, the sheer touch of his skin on yours leaving you with goosebumps. his fingers ran through your folds again and your wetness was enough.  

his hand outstretched your leg, so it was out at an angle to the side while the other was bent at the knee draped over his shoulder. you moaned at the feeling of being poked and prodded so he could get you exactly how he wanted you.  

you squirmed with anticipation as mason guided himself to your pussy, and when he slipped inside you let out a strangled, desperate moan. every time you thought his dick was fully inside of you, you were proved wrong, and with the angle of your legs, he only penetrated you deeper. he groaned at your tightness and the way his dick seemed to slot perfectly inside you.  

“fuck, little one,” his pubic bone hit your skin and he successfully buried himself to the hilt inside of you. “your cunt is so wet and tight, fits me so well, like it was made for me.” 

you mewled at his words and attempted to buy your head in the pillows beside you but mason grabbed your chin with his hand and forced you to look at him above you. he pulled out and pushed back in the whole way once again. “don’t you ever look away,” his fingers squeezed at your cheeks and moved down your face until they gripped at your neck, “daddy always wants to see the way your eyes roll back when he hits -” mason raised his hips up so the angle of his hips changed ever so slightly and he smirked when your eyes rolled back with a moan of his name, “that spot. such a naughty little girl.” 

“mhm,” you mumbled, already feeling a pressure building between your hips, “your naughty little girl, daddy.” 

“fuckin’ right,” mason's fingers squeezed your neck in approval, “daddy’s dirty little girl, you’re filthy, aren’t you?” 

you could feel him hitting so deep inside of you and the way his hips slowed with each pull out had you on the verge of screaming. your headboard began to thud dully against the wall and you couldn’t help but let out a long, drawn out moan.  

“gonna wake up the house if you keep moaning like a whore, baby,” mason cooed, pushing himself forward so the stretch in your legs began to sting and the angle of his dick grew deeper, “i can feel you clenching my dick, darling. such a tight little pussy.” 

your hands gripped at his shoulders and mason’s head dropped between your bodies so he could watch himself slipping in and out of your pussy. the angle of your body underneath him was driving him insane and he couldn’t help it when a moan slipped past his lips.  

the closer you got to an orgasm, the louder you became, and it only spurred mason on further. he was itching to get you cumming, and so when his fingers brushed your clit and you almost screamed in pleasure, he smirked. you were almost positive that savannah and becca could hear the entire thing from their rooms on the bottom floor.  

“d-daddy...”  

mason smiled, thumb pulling at your bottom lip. “yes, little one?” 

“i’m gonna cum,” you cried, arching your back up off the bed, “please, daddy.”  

mason tutted. you were going to have to beg a lot better than that.  

“come on, darling, you can beg better than that,” he left a kiss to your jawline, “i know you turn into a mindless whore when you’re being fucked, but that was pathetic.”  

 you squeaked and clenched around his dick again. your body was in overdrive and with every thrust it felt like you were going to explode.  

“d-daddy... please,” you choked, throat running dry, “p-please, i need to cum, i'll do anything, p-please, daddy.” 

“you’ll do anything? oh, darling. i wouldn’t say something like that if you don’t mean it.”  

“please, i’m so close,” you were panting now, fighting off your orgasm with every passing second. mason leaned down to kiss your lips hotly, pulling your lip between his teeth and biting down so hard he almost drew blood, “please.”  

your begging attempt was satisfactory. for now.  

“go on then, darling,” he drawled, “cum for daddy like a good girl.”  

you couldn’t help the scream that left your mouth, and your orgasm shook your body so hard that it left your limbs twitching. this orgasm seemed to be more fulfilling, and lasted longer than the others you’d had this evening. your clenching pussy triggered mason’s orgasm, and despite the fact he came into the condom, you could still feel the heat of his cum inside of you.  

it was only when you noticed the wet sheets underneath your bum and mason’s wet torso that your eyebrows furrowed.  

“fucking hell, little one,” mason groaned, pulling out of you and looking down at the seeping sheets, “look at the mess you’ve made.”  

“what happened...? what did i do?”  

it had only just dawned on mason that you were completely clueless. this was the first time you’d ever squirted.  

“you just wet the bed, babygirl,” he rolled to the side of you and your eyebrows furrowed, “daddy fucked you so well and so deep that you squirted.”  

he admired the way your eyes widened, and he smirked. if he wasn’t sure about keeping you in his life before, he was definitely going to keep you around now. you yawned, completely and utterly exhausted from the night’s events, and mason pushed the sweaty hair out of your face, “we need to get you clean, sweetheart.”  

“mm, tired,” was all you could say, fighting off a yawn, “just wanna sleep.”  

mason stood up and slipped your dressing gown back over his shoulders. your eyelids continued to flutter, and you would’ve fallen asleep had he not have handed you his shirt and boxers, “come on, darling, you need to clean yourself up,” you sighed but obeyed his words, pulling the shirt over your head, “i’ll help you put fresh sheets on too, okay?”  

his hand looped through yours as he guided you to your bathroom, and your eyebrows furrowed again. mason began to run the water and you sat on the toilet seat. “you’re helping?” you asked, scrunching your nose, “i thought you were just going to leave.”  

mason laughed. you really were clueless, and it was adorable to him.  

“you really think i'd fuck you like that and then just walk away?” mason raised an eyebrow, and once again, the thought dawned on him that that’s exactly what happened to you after your first time. that was all you’d ever known. “oh, sweetheart, no, i wouldn’t ever do that to you.”  

he tested the temperature of the water with the tips of his fingers, and helped you wriggle out of his shirt as you stepped into it. he kissed your forehead as you rested your arms on the side of the bath.  

“pack a bag and come to my house next weekend,” he said nonchalantly, and suddenly, all your exhaustion had dissipated, “please.”  

“y-you want me to...”  

“i’m not asking you, y/n,” his stern bedroom voice had returned and it sent shivers down your spine, “i’m telling you.”  

your heart settled in your chest and he smiled against your lips when you leaned over the bath and kissed him. “i’ll stay at yours if you stay here.”  

“i wasn’t planning on going anywhere, darling,” he kissed your nose, “you’re going to get sick of me.”  

you smiled.  

“impossible.”  

[missannwinchester]

Good girl (Joel/Reader, nsfw)

Joel Miller/Reader

Rating: E

Summary: Joel’s friend invited him to his peaceful resort by the lake. His stay there turns out not as peaceful as Joel had hoped when it turns out he set his eyes on the only woman in the resort that should be off limits.

Warnings: super cheesy, all over the place, dad’s best friend, age difference, slightly rough sex, outdoor sex, nsfw, dirty talk

Joel drove through the forest, the asphalt road leading him straight to the resort. He took a sip of cold, gas station coffee, slowing down as the road became full of potholes. He could smell the fresh scent of pine trees as the wind flew into the car through open windows. Despite wearing sunglasses, Joel squinted each time the sun appeared between the trees. He was driving to his friend’s resort to spend one week in a place with small wooden cabins, a huge lake, boats for rent and no reception and he couldn’t be happier. He desperately needed vacation, and talking to another human being, who happened to be his old buddy, seemed like a dream.

He parked his car, drank the rest of the coffee and got out of the car, taking his black duffel bag from the backseat. He looked around and smiled at the trees swaying in the gentle wind and turned, facing the nearby lake, trying to adjust his eyes to the brightness of the sun dancing in its reflection. He stood like that for a while, inhaling the scent of the forest, before he decided to go check in. He headed for a cabin with a huge ‘reception desk’ banner and took his glasses off as soon as he went inside, standing face to face with the prettiest woman he saw in a while. Not that a hermit like him saw women often, but still.

“Hello,” she greeted him quite cheerfully, but she was clearly surprised to see him.

Joel smiled at her, almost automatically forgetting about his usually gruff demeanor towards new people.

“Hi,” he said, rather sheepishly.

If he had to speak from experience, clerks in places like that were usually awkward middle-aged men, scrawny college frat boys or older women who always flirted with him.

“Did you have a reservation?” She asked, suspecting he hadn’t.

“Uh, no,” he responded. “I was hoping you’d have free cabins by chance, I’d like to stay for a week,” he blurted out and looked into her bright, beautiful eyes. He didn’t mention that he had just talked to the owner of this place or that he was promised ‘the best cabin there was in the whole resort’.

“Lucky for you, there are two cabins available for one week, one right in front of us, by the parking lot and my personal favorite, hidden a little further behind the trees, right by the lake, but it’s got a con and it costs twice as much as the parking lot one,” she explained, not breaking eye contact, staring into his dark eyes with fascination.

This man was extremely handsome, well-built, very broad, and his eyes? His eyes were truly something else.

“I’ll take that personal favorite of yours,” he smiled and took out his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans, forced to stop staring at her for a while.

She took a piece of paper and bit her lips when she reached for a pencil.

“Is anyone joining you?”

“No,” he said, leaning against the counter as she wrote something down.

“Breakfast included? Costs just extra 4 dollars per day.”

“I think so,” he retorted and she wrote something down again.

“So, when do you want to check out? Wednesday next week?”

“That’s right,” he nodded and she took a calculator and told him the price.

“I need to take a look at your ID,” she said and he complied, giving her the document.

“Okay, welcome to the resort, Joel. That’s the key, and here’s a map you can use to find your cabin or,” she said, sliding the map and key across the counter, “or I could just walk you there,” she suggested trying to sound breezy.

See, she had always been a good girl. Sunday school, do as she was told, good girl. She went to a good school, met a good man, got a good job, rented a good apartment, lived a good life. A good school she didn’t choose, with a good man she didn’t love and a good job that made her want to die in a good apartment that didn’t feel like home.

“It’s a little far, that’s all and… all the trees look kinda the same, but… well, you have a map,” she babbled, trying not to sound stupid.

“I’ve never been good with maps,” he smiled at her before he took the map and purposefully looked at it upside down, making her chuckle.

“I better walk you then,” she told him.

They walked for about five minutes through the forest, avoiding the small, crowded beach by the lake. The path was very narrow so Joel walked a few steps behind her. She could almost feel his eyes on her tight jeans shorts and she took a mental note to check out his bottom as well.

“How far is the cabin exactly?” Joel asked curiously.

“A little further,” she said. “You know, if you could read that map you’d know it shows an estimated time that you need to get from your cabin to all the important places? Like the breakfast lounge, boat rental or the reception desk,” she told him and slowed down a little, as the path became wider and now he could walk beside her.

“Interesting,” he admitted and eyed the map, quickly reading details about breakfast and how long it takes to go to the restaurant. “So, are you needed at the reception desk or can you show me around?”

“I can, no one's scheduled to arrive today. You were lucky I was even there when you showed up,” she told him and smiled at him playfully.

“Lucky indeed,” he smiled. “When you’re not there, what do you do all day?” He wondered.

“Well… that’s your cabin,” she announced and gestured to the pretty little house. “And as for what I do, I guess I mostly sit on a pier,” she laughed and Joel looked at the map.

“16 minutes that way,” he said, pointing his finger at the forest.

“Wow, you got better at it so fast,” she joked, but then she bit her lip hesitantly. “Actually, this one is not on the map,” she confessed quietly, as if she was telling a secret.

“Oh,” Joel sounded intrigued and waited for her to elaborate.

“We could go there if…” she sighed.

“If?” He prompted.

“If you promise me you’ll never go there without me. It’s mine and mine only,” she said quite sternly, looking at him with confidence.

“I promise, scout’s honor,” he responded without hesitation.

“Alright. Go, leave your bag, I’ll wait,” she promised and Joel went to the cabin and tossed his duffel bag inside carelessly and almost ran back to her.

His heart had been fluttering ever since he saw her, he figured it would stop after a while, but it was probably gonna be a longer while.

Fifteen minutes later they were standing on a pier. It was surrounded by water and reeds.

“Isn’t it awesome? We can see the lake, but the lake can’t see us,” she said with a grin. “I love this place,” she told him.

“I can see why,” he muttered, taking a deep breath, looking at the beautiful landscape surrounding him.

“Tourists never come by here, they stick to the other side of the lake, so it’s very peaceful,” she told him.

“And the view’s nice,” he said, looking straight at her and she smiled, suddenly a little shy.

“Yeah, especially when you actually look at the view,” she blurted out, pointing at the lake.

“Well I don’t know, I like looking over here,” he confessed, his body turned towards her. “You’d make any view better,” he whispered, but gave her space in case he read the signals wrong.

She turned, facing him with a smile dancing on her lips. She took a tiny step forward, getting closer to him, but not closing the gap between them, leaving him some room to decide what to do next. He also stepped forward, now standing in her personal space, their bodies almost touching.

“Does this line always work?” She wondered out loud, looking up at his face.

“Well, it seems to be working this time,” he responded and reached out to grab her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers, his other hand touched her hair, which was as soft as he expected, tucking them behind her ear as she leaned into his touch making his boxers even tighter now than a second ago. “What about your line?”

“What do you mean?” She asked unsurely.

“About the secret pier?” He clarified. “About how no one can see us.”

Her free hand traveled up his chest to rest on his shoulder and she knew it would be a horrible time to mention that she had never done anything like this before, not on this pier, nor anywhere else. The only sex she had was with her lousy ex fiance and for that she should have got an award for the best actress in a live action short film because she always had to fake it. So here she was, having her very first summer fling with an older guy and she had never been so aroused in her whole life.

“Seems to be working this time,” she smiled.

Joel leaned down and kissed her, slowly but surely and she responded, parting her lips, letting his tongue slide in. He tasted like something sweet and vaguely familiar and she gasped softly as his tongue explored her mouth. His hands were on her back, pulling her close and hers were wrapped around his neck, fingers playing with hair at the back of his head. His lips left hers and she was disappointed for a second before she felt them on her neck.

“Are you gonna tell me your name?” He asked, focusing his actions on her jawline.

He frowned when she tensed, grabbing his T-shirt, lightly pushing him away, but not letting him go. She told him her name.

Her grip on his T-shirt was quite strong considering her size and Joel could see how aroused she was. She pulled him towards her and kissed him deeply, dominating the kiss. He pushed his leg between hers, his hand on her ass, pulling her closer to him. She grinded against him and he hummed when he pressed his erection at her hip. She gasped into his mouth and pulled at the waistband of his jeans. She had never felt like this before, like she could come right there, dry humping him.

Joel unbuckled his belt and took off his jeans as she did the same. Her shorts fell on the pier and she felt a little self conscious. She tugged at the waistband of his boxers, pulling him into a kiss, his hand immediately found their way to her ass, squeezing it and slapping it very, very lightly, just enough to make it bounce. She sucked on his neck for a while before she pushed his boxers down and felt his fingers sliding under the soft material of her panties, pushing them down her smooth legs. He brushed his finger against her wet folds, sliding it in slowly, his thumb on her clit. He finger fucked her slowly, adding another digit while kissing her shoulder. She moaned at the sensation and slid her hands under his T-shirt, exploring his back. She was on the edge, waiting for him to just lightly, lightly push her.

“Hop up?” He suggested, reading from her uncertain expression that she might have some doubts.

“Um… up… you mean…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you ride me, sweetheart,” he promised and she nodded, wrapping her hands around his neck, waiting for him to pick her up.

When he did, she squeezed him with her legs, kissing him and sucking on his lip. She noticed that he was insanely strong, it seemed like she didn’t weigh anything to him. One of his arms snuck under her leg and pushed her a little higher and the other positioned his cock right at her entrance. He supported her butt lightly, as she slowly lowered herself on his thick shaft. Her walls stretched around him and she let out a quiet moan when she heard him groan. She felt his eyes on her face and she looked at him, rolling her hips, making him gasp into her face. Encouraged by him, she started riding his cock, squeezing him tightly with her thighs. He dug his fingers into her hips, almost painfully as he grunted when she lowered herself again, but his touch quickly softened again. He was helping her up and down, but he had to stop himself from straight up ramming her down on him.

“You can hold me like before,” she whispered. “I like how strong you are,” she told him and she felt his fingers digging into her flesh greedily and she heard a low growl as he closed his eyes to prevent them from rolling back. 

“You like it rough?” He guessed and she realized she does actually like it rough. “Fuck, you’re so damn sexy, he growled.”

His confession gave her a boost of confidence that she needed, their pace was now relentless, the soft moans she made were driving him crazy, he felt like he could explode any second. He knew she was close, because her whimpers were becoming louder with each roll of his hips. She was gripping his T-shirt tightly, holding onto him with shaky arms and she wondered how he could do it, standing so straight up. He broke the sloppy kiss and licked the side of her neck, then nibbled on it softly. She moaned, a little ashamed of herself as she had never actually moaned during sex before. Without thinking, Joel brushed his teeth against her skin, scratching it.

“Fuck, sorry,” he apologized quickly when her legs jerked around him, knowing it must have hurt and he leaned to to kiss that spot better, but she whimpered loudly and dug her fingernails into the back of his neck, making him think that he misread her reaction.

“Did you like it?” He asked, already sure what the answer would be when he felt her teeth brush against his skin shyly, not enough to even leave a mark.

He guessed it might have been her first time and he hummed, trying to encourage her to use her teeth.

“Yeah,” she moaned quietly in response and Joel felt her timidity.

He noticed that her confidence decreased the moment she took her pants off, but he didn’t mind, knowing that if this went well he would have more time to rock her world again during his stay.

“It’s okay sweetie, I like it too,” he assured her and did it again, letting his teeth leave a mark on her shoulder. “Do you like it when I talk?”

“I do,” she admitted, not slowing down.

“Fuck yes,” he groaned and found her lips and his tongue slid in to start a sloppy kiss.

She started panting and Joel leaned down again to bite and suck on her neck and the second his teeth pinched her neck she came with him buried deep inside her. Her walls pulsed around him and he came too, rolling his hips into her one last time. He held her through her orgasm as he focused on not letting his knees give out as he panted loudly. She stopped squeezing him and let go of his T-shirt as she hummed contently, kissing him on the neck, on the hickey she had left on his soft skin. He helped her off his cock and he carefully put her back on the pier. He kissed her softly, his tongue gently brushed her lip. She smiled and pulled her shirt down to make it a little longer. She looked around in the search for her underwear. Joel got the hint and found his boxers while she was busy putting on her shorts. He winked at her with a smile while putting on jeans and she smiled back, comforted by his face expression.

“It was… very nice to meet you, Joel,” she said.

“My pleasure,” he muttered under his breath.

He came to face her again and his eyes traveled down her neck where she had a red mark left by his teeth.

“Well, it seems like a good start of a mindblowing week,” he whispered hopefully and she looked at him finally, nodding her head. “We could do this again tomorrow.”

“You know where to find me,” she reminded him with a smile.

“Will you walk me to my cabin?” He asked.

“Totally,” she said and started walking awkwardly towards the forest.

It all happened so fast, she wasn’t even sure if it was real. 

“Actually, I was… I was hoping to meet the guy who owns the place, would you tell him I checked in when he comes back?” Joel asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded, just then thinking of her father. “Can you maybe not mention to him the…”

“The warm welcome?” He chuckled. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“I’m actually kind of supposed to sit at the reception desk all the time,” she confessed. “If anyone asks, you got to your cabin all by yourself.”

“Sure thing,” he promised, not thinking much about it.

He leaned down and grabbed her butt. He gave it a firm squeeze and pushed her forward a little, and taking advantage of her initial shock, he kissed her passionately.

“I’ll find you tomorrow,” he promised and let her go, walking slowly towards the cabin.

“You better,” she muttered and bit her lip as she tilted her head, looking at his ass as he walked through the long grass.

A couple of hours later, she was sitting behind the reception desk, reading one of the old books she had found in one of the drawers. She turned the page, bored out of her mind and she glanced at her phone to see what time it was. She sighed loudly and threw the book at the counter. She got up from her seat and walked up to the window. She sighed one more time and pressed her forehead against the cold glass. Her dad was supposed to be at the resort in the evening and even though he hadn’t precised when, she was getting impatient. The reception was horrible so there was no use in even trying to call him. She locked up and headed towards the lake. The sun was setting, painting beautiful colors in the sky. She took her shoes off and walked into the lake, trying to ignore the screaming children who were running next to her. The water was quite cold, so she stopped after just a few steps, wiggling her toes in the sand. She could no longer see the sun as it hid behind the trees, but she enjoyed the colors dancing in the water. Despite the commotion, she heard a car engine and she turned her head to see her father’s truck on the rickety road. She walked out of the water slowly and picked up her shoes, walking lazily towards the parking lot. She saw her dad's silhouette from afar, she guessed he was holding something in his hand, probably his phone. He waved at someone and she heard his laugh. She smiled, glad that after all those years her dad was still excited to run the resort. The staff loved him and it was nice to watch as he joked around with them. Trying not to step on anything sharp barefoot, she walked slowly and carefully, avoiding the pine cones, but she was already right next to the parking lot. Involuntarily, her gaze followed her dad and that’s when she saw something strange. Her dad was hugging… Joel. Her dad was hugging Joel. She stopped and blinked a few times. Sure, she saw that guy one time, but she was certain that was him.

“You finally showed up man,” she heard her dad’s cheerful voice. “That calls for a celebration!”

“Definitely!” He responded and the men finally let go of each other. “I brought booze!” He said, handing his friend a paper bag.

“Let’s get you drunk like that time in Wichita!” Her dad cheered.

“I don’t remember ever being in Wichita,” Joel protested with a frown.

He turned around, motioning Joel to come with him and that’s when he saw his daughter and he greeted her with a smile.

“Hey,” he started, walking up to her, “that’s my old friend Joel, I met him way before I met you,” he laughed and she hoped she managed to hide how horrified she was.

She quickly glanced at Joel and for a second, his eyes met hers and he gulped, then, as if nothing happened he put a perfect poker face on.

“Joel, you must have met my daughter,” he said proudly. “Did she show you around?”

“She gave me a map,” Joel said quickly, faking a smile.

“That’s my girl!” His friend laughed. “Let’s go grab a bite, tomorrow I’m gonna take you fishing, Joel! See, we have this secret pier, it’s not on the map…”

The end

Thank you for reading :)

~Ann

[lucy90712]

hii

pls could write a Jude Bellingham x reader YN is Jobes best friend since they were like 5 and YN moved next door, she always had a crush on Jude and everyone could tell but he always turned her down and then he sees her tryna move on and he’s like what’d u think ur doing

WC: 2.8k Ever since I was born pretty much I've known the Bellinghams. When I was born Jude was a little over a year old and then Jobe was born about a year after that. Our parents were friends before any of us were born and they lived just down the road from each other so all of us have been around each other pretty much from the day we were born. As we grew up I only became closer with both Jude and Jobe but as we've gotten older I have gotten closer to Jobe as he's around more and I just feel like I have more in common with him than I do with Jude as he's older so he can always do things before we can. 

One of the other reasons I think I'm not as close with Jude is because I've had a crush on him for a while, when he moved away to go and play in Germany my feelings for him started to change. It seemed like he became a man all of a sudden, he wasn't the Jude I used to know from when we were in our early teens he was different, all of a sudden he was the most attractive man I'd ever seen. Whenever he came home all I could do was admire him and the muscles he'd clearly been working hard to get as well as his face which just seemed so perfect. It was obvious to everyone that I has a crush on Jude even Jobe made fun of me a few times for fawning over his brother. There came a time when Jude sat me down and tried letting me down gently saying that he thought we were better off as friends which hurt a hell of a lot at the time but I've since got over that disappointment. 

Sadly I never got over my feelings for Jude instead I just distracted myself with other guys who were nowhere near as good as Jude and honestly half of them I didn't even really like but it was only a bit of harmless flirting I never went any further as I just didn't want to. I know one day I'll meet a guy I love as much if not more than Jude and then I'll be happier than I am now pining over a guy that doesn't even like me back. It's been a while since I've seen Jude as he's been so busy with the end of the season which has actually helped me quite a lot as not seeing him and trying not to pay much attention to things he posts has kept him out my mind. All of this has been on purpose too as my birthday is today and I didn't want to only be thinking about Jude on my birthday. 

With it being my 18th birthday all my friends have convinced me to go out clubbing with them. They've all turned 18 already and have been out quite a few times and they want me to join them. There has been times they've tried to convince me to get a fake id but I refused as I'm not bothered about going out plus it wouldn't work anyway as quite a few people here know who I am because of my friendship with Jude and Jobe so I never bothered. Sadly Jobe can't come and enjoy my birthday with me as he's not 18 yet but I promised I'd spend the rest of the day with him as he said he didn't want to not see me on my birthday. We've spent all of our past birthdays together and I couldn't be the one to ruin that tradition plus I think I'll enjoy spending the day with Jobe more than I will then going out. 

~~~~~~~~~~

As it's my birthday I wanted to sleep in for a bit longer than I usually would but that didn't happen as the sound of my phone notifications woke me up. When I looked at it my home screen was flooded with notifications of texts and Instagram posts from my friends. I answered a few texts before there was a knock on my bedroom door and my mum came in with breakfast for me which she'd spent her morning making. She had to go to work but she promised that she'd give me my presents later before I go out which didn't bother me as I don't need any presents I just want to enjoy my birthday. 

Once my mum had left I went back to looking at my phone and replying to people, at some point I went on Instagram and saw that Jude had tagged me on his story and I don't think I've ever clicked on a notification so quickly. He had posted a picture of the two of us from when we were younger covered in mud from where we'd been playing outside in the rain with a caption wishing me a happy birthday. It made me feel all warm inside that he bothered to post something instead of just texting me as he doesn't post much that isn't to do with football. 

After I'd caught up on my notifications I got myself out of bed and got ready so I could go and see Jobe. He wanted me to go to his so I text him just before I left the house so he'd be expecting me. Seeing as its only a few minutes down the road I was happy to walk plus it's such a nice day that I wanted to get outside and soak up the sun even if it's only for a few minutes. When I arrived I didn't even get the chance to knock on the door before it swung open and Jobe tackled me straight into a hug. Jobe has always been like this with me we are just so close that we are always excited when we get to spend time together especially on special days like birthdays. Eventually he let go of me and allowed me inside but he quickly covered my eyes as he said he had a surprise waiting for me in the living room. I was a bit nervous as you never know what a Jobe surprise will be but I had a bit of faith that he wouldn't do anything I'd hate on my birthday. 

It felt like we walked forever but eventually we stopped and Jobe instructed me to open my eyes. It took a second for my eyes to adjust but when they did the first thing I saw was a smiling Jude sat on the sofa. If it were possible my jaw would've hit the floor as Jude wasn't supposed to be home he was supposed to still be in Germany for another week but there he was and I definitely wasn't seeing things. 

"Happy birthday y/n/n" Jude said 

"What are you doing here I thought you still had to be in Germany" I questioned 

"You didn't think I'd miss your 18th did you plus I may have lied to be able to surprise you" he said 

"I'm so happy you're here it's been ages since I've seen you" I said 

He got up and gave me a hug before ushering me to sit down while him and Jobe ran off somewhere. They came back a minute later holding far too many presents which they piled on my lap so that I couldn't move anymore. I tried telling them off for getting me so many unnecessary presents but they insisted that it was necessary as in their words you only turn 18 once. Seeing as they were both so excited about it I opened the presents in whatever order they agreed on which did involve a bit of arguing but we got there in the end. They got me so many nice things that made me feel so loved but also a bit bad as I could never afford to do the same for them. 

"Thank you guys so much I really appreciate everything but you shouldn't have gotten me so much I'll never be able to top or even match that" I said 

"It's ok we don't need you to do anything for us we just love having you around" Jobe said 

"Aww you're going to make my cry" I said 

"Don't cry instead tell me what you've got planned for today" Jude said 

"Well first I'm hanging out with you guys but then my friends convinced me to go out tonight" I said 

"Is it just you and your friends going?" Jude asked 

"Yeah me and I think 3 of the girls the rest can't make it" I said 

"Well I'm coming with you whether you like it or not I'm not letting you go out for the first time without someone to keep you safe" he said super seriously 

"I'll be fine Jude I won't even drink that much" I said 

"I don't care it's not safe for you to be going out with just a few of your friends I promise I'll leave you be I just can't let you go alone" he said 

"Fine you can come but be prepared the girls will go crazy" I laughed 

~~~~~~~~~~

I spent the rest of the day with Jude and Jobe just hanging out like we used to do all the time when we were a bit younger. They even got me a cake which they definitely aren't supposed to eat with their diet but they did and made me promise not to tell anyone. A bit later I had to leave to get ready but not before Jude cornered me to make me promise to text him when I was ready to go and he'd come over so we could go together. I was still anxious about him coming as for one I don't want to get drunk and say something stupid to him but also I didn't want him to be on my mind all night. Tonight was supposed to be the night I get to let go and enjoy myself and maybe find a guy I like to flirt with but I feel like I can't do that with Jude around as my mind will be on him the entire time. I appreciate his concern about me going out but I can handle myself and I'd be fine without him. That being said it's been a long time since I've really spent any time with him so it will be nice to have Jude there. 

Once I was home and getting ready I was texting my friends to get their opinion on my outfit as I don't really know what to wear out. They helped me get it down to two options but once I told them Jude was coming they picked the shorter tighter dress straight away as they know I like Jude so I guess they are being good friends. Seeing as they picked a nice dress I decided to go all out on my hair and makeup too and if I do say so myself I looked pretty good. After I'd done a few touch ups I text Jude to let him know I was ready and headed downstairs to put my shoes on as I knew he'd be a few minutes. 

Jude arrived and honked the horn of his car to get me to go outside (let's just pretend he can drive) so I made my way to the car slowly trying to not fall over with my heels on the gravel of the driveway. Jude must've noticed my struggle as he got out the car and helped me into the passenger side of the car. 

"You look beautiful" he said 

"Thank you" I said feeling my cheeks turn pink 

"You know you don't have to drive if you want to drink we can get an Uber" I said 

"No it's ok I won't drink I'm only going to make sure you and you're friends are ok" he said 

"They're all really excited that your coming I think they might spend more time with you than they will with me" I laughed 

"I won't let them you'll barely notice I'm there" he smiled 

We arrived at the club and true to his word Jude disappeared as soon as I was with my friends although he did instruct me to put any drinks I had on a tab he'd make for me as he didn't want to me pay for anything on my birthday. He'd gone before I could argue with him so I didn't bother I just did exactly what he told me to and got myself a drink before heading to dance with my friends. As I was dancing my friends told me that there was a guy who wouldn't stop staring at me so I managed to sneak a glance in his direction and he was actually really cute. He noticed me looking at him and shot me a smile before making his way over. 

Straight away he complimented me but not just on my outfit which made me let down my guard a little bit as I could tell he was genuinely interested in me. Once he found out it was my birthday he wished me a happy birthday and offered to buy me a drink which I was happy to accept. As we both sipped on our drinks we started properly talking and we just got on like a house on fire. We actually had a few things in common and he was such a nice guy that it was hard not to get along with him. Once we finished our drinks he took me back to the dance floor and we danced together. To begin with he didn't have his hands on me but I grabbed his arms and put his hands on my waist as I was feeling little more confident than usual. 

I was really enjoying myself dancing and laughing with this guy my mind was only thinking about him and not about Jude at all. It's been so long since I've thought about any guy in front of me and not compared him to Jude, it was honestly so nice to have finally found a guy that made me forget about Jude and that clearly had the same feelings that I did. My enjoyment was short lived though as not long after I felt someone grab my arm and pull me away, I was about to punch the person until I got a look at them and realised it was Jude and honestly I still kind of wanted to punch him as he was supposed to leave me be and I was actually enjoying myself. 

He dragged me all the way out of the club and back to the car which is when he finally let go of his grip on my arm and I just stared at him. Neither of us moved nor said anything for a good few moments until I decided I wanted to go back in if he wasn't going to talk but as soon as I turned around he grabbed my arm again and brought me back to face him. Again the staring ensued and I was really starting to get annoyed. 

"What's going on Jude if you aren't going to say anything let me go I was enjoying my time with that guy" I said 

"I can't let you go back in" he said hastily 

"Tell me why then as I'm not going to stand here forever" I said 

"Because I'm jealous ok I don't know why but seeing you with that guy made me realise that I've been lying to myself for a long time I do have feelings for you I've just been trying to tell myself I don't as I don't want to ruin our friendship" he admitted 

"What you have feelings for me?" I questioned in complete disbelief 

"Yeah I do I know that I made it seem like I didn't see you that way but I have had feelings for a while I just didn't want to change things between us or make things awkward with you and Jobe as I know how close you both are but I can't keep lying I want to be with you y/n" he said 

"I think it's pretty clear that I still have feelings for you and I really want to give us a go I know it will be different but let's be honest Jobe’s been wishing we'd get together for ages so I'm sure everything will be ok" I said 

"Then will you be my girlfriend officially?" He asked 

"I would love to" I smiled 

"Now let's go and have some proper fun" he said taking my hand to lead me back inside 

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi :) i hear you give advice and i very much need some. I’m 15 and I live in a pretty (very) conservative christian area.

My older sibling is 19, and came out as trans to me like a year ago. Ngl I didn’t really know what that meant, cause we don’t learn about that stuff (except for your classic, anything that isn’t “normal” is wrong). But he just told me that he’s happier with he/him and with his new name. But he hasn’t told our parents yet, so I have to use the old stuff in front of them when he comes back for visits (he’s as uni) which feels gross cause I know he feels uncomfortable but it’s fine. 

I sort of thought the he/him thing would be weird, since that’s not how i’ve addressed him my whole life, but after a couple of months it was actually super easy. We call each other like twice a week, and I was worried we’d drifted apart after he told me but actually were closer than ever, I feel like I know him a lot better now. 

Oh but his old name, the one parents gave him, SUCKS. And now I can’t mock him for it cause he picked a new one, which seems unfair to me but I can come up with new material, i’m creative.

Anyway, he told me that he’s been saving up and he’s gonna get top surgery. He’s had a pretty good job since  school so I guess he’s been saving since then. I hear it’s expensive. 

But it made him decide to tell our parents. So when he came up and visited, just before he left, he told them.

That was last week. They reacted terribly, as we knew they would. And they’ve both been yelling about it a bunch. Saying stuff like “He (okay no they’re actually using she but I won’t be doing that even in writing cause it feels wrong cause it’s my brother) is totally insane” or “He needs therapy, we failed him.” or “How dare *old name* do this” or “he’s delusional” and a bunch of other awful shit like that.

So I have two options. I can try and encourage them to do little things like use he/him for my brother. Or call him their son instead of daughter. Or actually look at photos of him now (he very much doesn’t look like a girl anymore- idk how they didn’t realise tbh). Or how he always did little things like cutting his hair and hating dresses and other stuff like that.

I’ve often been able to help my parents be nicer about stuff. Like my friend who’s a lesbian, they hated her at first but now they’re nicer about it.

But maybe if I do that they’ll start yelling about corrupting me (as they’ve done in the past) and harass my brother worse and be even worse about it all. 

It’s hard to know which direction it’ll go.

And look I still don’t really get it. But also it makes sense, you know? It’s like the final puzzle piece being slotted in, all those things he used to do make sense now. 

My parents say I can’t interact with lgbtq+ stuff cause they’ll corrupt me. But like- not to be rude but, aren’t they corrupting me? My brother HAPPY. I don’t see how that’s wrong. And they’re the ones telling me I should be actively encouraging him to be- what, sad again? Uncomfortable in himself. 

I don’t know, i’m not totally sure I understand my parents or my brother. I got tumblr in the first place since it’s the only thing I could think of that’s online (so I could hide it) and probably has lgbtq+ people on it so I could- idk get used to it I guess. 

And now i’m here. 

When it comes down to it, I want my brother to be happy, and if he’s happier as my brother than my sister then I don’t see why I should care about him switching pronouns or whatever. 

So I want to try and help my parents see it like that too. And they often do see new sides to things when I point them out. So maybe id be helping.

But there’s also the chance they’d get more mad at my brother for corrupting me and that’d make him upset and that’s not what I want. 

So yeah, any advice? 

It’s kinda scary coming from my small town onto the giant internet of people i’ve been taught are weird. But you guys don’t seem that weird. I mean- you do but weird like i’m weird, not weird like ill. (Sorry if any of this seems rude btw, I might not get it but i’m trying really hard not to judge anyone, since it’s pretty clear to me that some of the things i’ve been taught aren’t correct). 

Also why do my parents think my brothers ill anyway? I know him, i’d know if he’s ill. Also i love history, and trans people are all over history. I mean they’re never said to be trans but watching my brother, it’s pretty obvious other people were like him. 

Anyway, thanks and have a good summer 💖

Hi hon!

I want to tell you, it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders and you're an amazing support to your brother. You should be so proud of yourself.

I think you need to think about what is best for you and your mental health. If speaking up to your parents about your brother could end in them getting mad at you, it might not be a good idea. You've been doing amazing at supporting him while staying quiet, and I know he knows you support him. It might be best for yout o quietly educate yourself online without making a fuss, until you aren't relying on your parents as much for money, food, and shelter- kind of like your brother did.

This also might be a good thing to talk to your brother about, too. Like you said, this could affect him, and he probably knows your parents well. He might have some good advice <3 But you don't HAVE to stand up to them if it's not good for you. It's okay to educate yourself, and be an ally in other ways <3

Naming you history anon <3

(also wish your brother luck on his top surgery for me!)

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.142 Keep it in the family

After that rather heavy breakfast, I suggested we head to Gilbert Gardens for a stroll around the lake to burn off the calories and the effects of such a serious conversation. He told me a few stories from his childhood and how he and Mama met, which was a story I had actually never heard before. They were at a bar, and she turned around and told him he was beautiful and asked him out at the end of the night. It wasn't hard to imagine her being so brazen, but I only knew the more matured and careful version of Emerald Kierra Pope. Heh, I still couldn't believe Dwayne called her "Kiki." That sounded like a completely different sim, but I suppose she was a different sim then. While I enjoyed hearing happier stories of my parents' youth, I found it odd he would tell so many about him and her. Did he miss her? She must have gotten to him. I hadn't forgotten about them acting weird lately. Maybe what they say about the things we remember at the end of our lives is true. No one on their deathbed lamented about not making enough money or buying a bigger house. No one remembered the petty arguments and dumb stuff we did. It was the good times and people we loved, and he still loved her.

It was quite hot that afternoon, and Dad got tired and wanted to go back home, but I wasn't done with him yet. I needed more time and suggested we go check on Less and the babies, and he agreed. When we arrived, two of the three babies were hungry and screaming. Less already had Arvin, so I took care of Breanna. Dad stood quietly behind us, admiring how well we took care of them...or something. As soon as Arvin was satisfied, Lex woke up and demanded a meal too. Like every other visit, at some point, Dad left to take out trash and do whatever else he could find to help out. The fear of holding newborns must have been pretty strong. If I were staring death in the face, I'd like to think I'd suck it up and hold my long-awaited grandchildren. But to each his own.

Once all the babies were happy and asleep, we retreated downstairs to hang. Mama came in from the pool and was surprised to see us all together in the living room.

"Two days in a row? I should have given you my final wishes sooner!"

"Ha ha," I said flatly.

"You could have just left instructions like normal sims," Dad said.

Mama's head jerked back so far, I thought it would fly off and sock Less in the face. I could count on one hand how many times I saw my parents fight, but each time was dangerously entertaining.

"Did you leave instructions, smartie?" She paused a few seconds for dramatic effect. "I didn't think so!"

He shook his head at her. I could imagine their marriage being full of that, had it continued.

"While we're on the subject," he said, "if you don't mind, there's something I want to discuss with my children."

"Okay. I'll go. But don't be in here traumatizing my babies."

"You've already done that, Mama," I said. "Thanks for that."

"Why, I never! I know where I'm not wanted. I'm going back to the pool!"

He watched her leave, but still didn't say what he wanted to say. Maybe discussing their deaths was just as awkward for them as it was for us to hear about it, even though they spoke so casually about it.

"So...what is it, Dad?" I asked.

"Despite what she thinks, I do have instructions," he said. "But there is one matter left to finalize, and I could use your help."

"Uhhh...okay," Alessia said, nervously.

"Lessi... I want to give you my house..."

"A house?!"

"Yes. But if I leave it to you, I want you to live in it."

"But...I live here."

"I know. After your mom is gone, I thought maybe you'd want to be closer to your brother. My house isn't nearly as big or as nice as this, but it's homey, and there's enough room for everyone."

"But...I..."

She looked so lost. Did Mama not talk to her? Or did she not consider the whole picture? Probably the latter. She was never good at caring about much beyond her nose. I, on the other hand, was giddily distracted by the idea of us being neighbors. Ever since learning Jace abandoned her, I had been trying to think of the best way to help her and the babies. Never once did I consider her moving to live near me until Dub mentioned his rental property. It was the perfect solution for both of us. She'd have family nearby to help with the kids, Des would grow up with faux siblings, and I'd get to keep an eye on Less and be a positive male figure in my niblings' lives. Everyone wins!

"I know that's a big decision," he said, "and expecting you to make it now isn't right, so how about this... I'll leave it to Luca until you decide if you want it or not. But no matter what you decide, I don't want either of you to sell it. I want it to stay in the family."

"But...what do I do with it?" I asked.

"Rent it out and make some money. Or keep it and give it to one of the kids. I don't have a pile of money to leave you like your mom does. This house is all I have. That's why I chose not to rent an apartment when we moved. This house is my contribution to our family's legacy. It can provide extra income for you or a head start for your children or their children as long as it stays in the family."

I had only thought of rental property in terms of a shared living situation like Dub had done. I didn't consider I could take a house I already owned and let someone else live in it while I lived somewhere else. The money tree had already done so much for my family's future, but everything Dad had said opened my mind to so many more possibilities. Just like I told Dub, I could leave Desiree more than just money.

"Of course we'll keep it in the family, Dad."

The evening grew late, and I had to get home to my ladies, so I said goodnight to Dad, silently hoping that it wasn't our final farewell. But in case it was, I gave him a good squeeze and told him I loved him.

I grabbed Less next.

"I love you too. I hope you'll take the house."

"We'll see. You're okay, I guess."

"I KNOW you're not leaving this house without saying goodbye to me," Mama shouted, appearing from nowhere.

"Now, why would I ever think about doing that?" I kissed her on the cheek. "I love you. I'll be back soon."

[digiitaldaydreams]

Hiya! I found your blog through your neocities website! I was wondering if there’s any tips or things you read/watched that help you make your site. (Im heavily considering making one of my own neocities site it just seems fun)

hihi welcome !! i have quite a few pieces of advice, but the tldr is you should come up with an idea for what you want to make beforehand, and look up how to do each piece! your knowledge will start to fill in along the way :]

(this is probably gonna be long as hell so under the cut is all of the fun stuff /silly)

the way i personally started off was by sketching out what i wanted my site to look like! if you know what you want before you begin, you'll know where to look to figure out what you need to do. html+ css are extremely easy languages to read/write once you know what to look for!

^ this was the original sketch for my site, where i planned out everything i wanted to include. it's a bit different from what actually ended up on the site, but that's alright! it's just about having an outline to work from. i think of it like outlining before you write, it feels like such a pain in the ass because u just wanna start working NOW but u will thank yourself later for taking the time to plan.

once you know what you want to make, start looking for tutorials and resources to make it easier! the grid for my homepage and some of my other subpages was made using a css grid generator, since its one of the more confusing bits of css. you can make grids without it, but its a very easy way to make a more asymmetrical design if ur using the generator!

thats linked here, it gives you some css to put in your head or css sheet, and then the html for the different boxes to slap in your main document. it can be easier to understand what itll look like if you give each one a border while you work, even if its just temporary!

when looking for information about css and html, w3schools is your best friend. its a pretty comprehensive database of every little piece of html + css you could ever need, with examples you can play with yourself to understand what each variable does! it's been a lifesaver for me, ive watched basically zero video tutorials because everything on there is explained so well and you can find basically Anything.

they even have code snippets for things that take more than one or two lines of code, which you can use and adapt yourself! (the tooltips on the official art + my art sections on the hinata shrine were adapted from a tutorial on there!)

in general, having a plan and working from there will make ur life so much easier. the pages that ive sketched out beforehand or ive had a very clear vision for have been WAYY easier to code than the ones i tried to come up with on the fly, and ive been much happier with how they've turned out as well. though i do also have some smaller, rapidfire tips as well that ill go thru now!!

— inline css (the style="" tag) seems so so useful but really should only be used when you're resizing images like buttons. when u keep all of your css in the head or in a seperate document, its way easier to debug and read later. i cleaned up my homepage recently by removing all of the inline css and looking at the code stresses me out WAY less because i can actually read it LOLOL ... plus cutting the css out and putting it in its own document made me realize that id accidentally wrote some really weird code in some places

— this is very much 'do as i say, not as i do,' but use an external editor (like visual studio code) instead of editing live on neocities! you can set up a live preview, and generally wont be pushing out 100 updates every single time you change or add something. i tend to code directly on neocities but its a bad habit and i want to break it eventually v_v

— if you really like an effect someone else has on their site, you can peek using inspect element i promise the coding police won't get you !! dont steal code line for line, but you can figure out what theyre doing and put your own spin on it. things like border images can be really cool, and i only figured out about them because i looked at what someone else was doing and figured out how to adapt it for my own site! check linkbooks and credit sections as well, a lot of people will include links to any effect they didnt make themself or got help with. (including me! the credits section of the linkbook has a ton of little things i got from other places, including a really neat little music player, the rss feed for my status cafe, and the wobbly text on the homepage!)

— most stuff in html and css basically just... says what it does in the tag. so looking stuff up for it is extremely easy! if you've used carrd before you honestly probably already know more abt html than u'd think just intuitively. when ur adjusting the margins or padding in carrd, you're adjusting the margin: and padding: properties in the css of the website it's outputting!

this is getting way too long but!! my best advice is to just get started. you'll never be able to learn without trying, and it genuinely is so fun to have something that's truly your own!

(if u have any specific questions im happy to answer anytime as well! i love talking abt neocities, its a super fun hobby and way easier to pick up than u would think!)

[puddingseikkx]

Advice?? please urgently.

i really struggle with my mental health and im not in school rn and theres not a lot of options for me, i have to make a decision by tomorrow is what my family hopes but i think i need more time. im visiting my sister back home for the month and we came upon the question if i want to stay here with my sister and do school (i like the school i was in when i used to live here and the program they have) or if i should stay in california with my mom and do school there. now i like the school where my sister is and preferably id rather stay here IF all i had to worry abt was school. but in terms of healthcare for a main doctor i think its great here but i need a psychiatrist and theres nothing here since its a small area and my sister likes to eat healthy so i also like that theres mostly only healthy food in the house and with my mom its hard to say how we’re living rn. shes looking for a place near her work since she commutes 2 hrs to work and stays in hotels over night 5-6 days a week but theres a great psychiatrist over there and im sure i can find a good doctor as well but where im living currently with my mom isnt ideal and quite mentally straining so until we move over it sucks and im honestly much happier here with my sister but theres more opportunity for me over with my mom but im tired of waiting for the time it gets better ive thought abt going to school here and living with my mom but until we move id rather not bc i dont have motivation to do anything there. plus whenever i came back here with my sister my hair stops falling out sm, i have more energy to shower more often, i even plan to work out a bit more, although if i was with my mom when we’d move id have access to gyms unlike here and im a dancer as well so having a good space is very crucial to me. so what im thinking rn is should i bring up staying here the rest of the month then come to get my things and until enrollment starts for the new school year i stay there but ill do my own independent studies and i’d say maybe stay with my mom and comeback with my sister or vice versa idk what to do. help? sorry if this is all over the place but i tried my best to explain..

[concretepuppy]

Hey, I wanted to ask if you'd recommend phallo to someone without dysphoria who's like 90% cis? I just kind of want a dick from time to time, but it doesn't affect my sex life or distress me that I don't. I'd also like a cis-looking and feeling dick (idk why but I would probably get dysphoria from a dick that was obviously made with phallo) so idk. Transphobes fearmonger a lot so it kind of scares me to make the jump. And idk if major surgery is worth it to satisfy something I'd live my life perfectly fine without doing...

i’m a huge proponent of cis people getting bottom surgery if it makes them happy. i talk quite a lot about how i think a lot of cis stone butches in particular would probably be a lot happier of they had a sensate penis to use for sex, bc i have had quite a few stones complain to me about how they wish they could feel it when they use a strap. it’s ok to get bottom surgery just for sex.

why exactly do you want a dick? what do you want out of it? do you want it for sex? do you think you would have better self image if you had one? do you want to be able to pee from it? do you want balls? do you want to keep your current genitals? there are a lot of considerations to make. i’d start by making a list of all the things that make you want a dick, and then all the potential cons.

i would encourage you to examine why you think you would feel dysphoric about having a phallo dick—what about them is so different from a natal penis? what are the aspects of a natal penis that you feel you’d miss with a phallo penis? have you seen a long-healed phallo dick w medical tattooing? have you ever interacted w a phallo dick irl? i’d also ask you to check your beliefs about what phallo dicks look like. these both have a lot of layers of transphobia and body shaming to unpack.

phalloplasty is a major surgery. it’s permanent in that you’d have to find a surgeon willing to do penectomy on a phallo patient to get it removed, which would likely be very difficult. but it’s not the huge, scary thing people make it out to be. most people just have 6-8wks of recovery (and maybe even shorter for later stages depending on what you’re getting done) and that’s it. the hardest part for me was stage 1 movement restriction, but that was 5 years ago and it’s over with now. if you think you’d be happier getting phallo, then by all means pursue it. it’s not like it’s a fast process, so even if you started contacting surgeons today you’d still have at least 12-18mo to think about it.

also keep in mind that navigating the process will be much more difficult unless you lie and say you’re a trans guy (or in the states at least most of the big name phallo surgeons are familiar enough w nonbinary people that they dont bat an eye abt it, so you could use that). i cant imagine most reputable phallo surgeons here would agree to do surgery for a person who openly IDed as cis (tho i could be wrong, i dont have direct experience w any team other than OHSU so it’s just me guessing based on other ppls anecdotes) and i have even less confidence that insurance would cover it. but it’s fine to lie and say you’re a trans dude if that’s what it takes to get the surgery or hormones or whatever you need. i didnt tell my surgical team i was bigender until stage 3, and i specifically told them to just list me as a trans man in claims. the OHSU team is really great about stuff like that, but other teams might not be.

[seffien]

any headcannons for your agents?

oh plenty, but let me keep it as short as i can

cap'n 3 (real name junko 'jun' ishikawa):

country kid who was entranced by inkopolis plaza's unusual (to her) look

was originally super cheerful and peppy before Various Incidents

very creative, but none of the adults in her life ever appreciated it

likes to draw (doesn't do it much now) and bought a bass guitar during the events of splat 1 because she loved squid squad that much

became suuuper close with gramps and the squid sisters (as a matter of fact, the 'jun' nickname came from marie) bc her own 'family' was. um.

being sanitized kind of ruined her a bit. her left eye is a slightly lighter shade than her other one to this day, and the sanitization gave her memory loss, an aversion to food, and general odd behavior for a while

looks menacing, is really kind of tired and also shy

gave 4 her old agent outfit (cape included) since she didn't really need it anymore

still cannot believe she's the captain

very different from her younger, happier, more awake self, but she tries not to think about that.

agent 4 (real name naoki 'masu' masuda):

parents wanted her to be a prodigy, and the pressure they put on her made her snap and run away. most pre-inkopolis square memories are deeply repressed

basically no one gave a shit about her when she first moved to inkopolis except for the splat 2 promo kid with the black v-neck tee. they're still kinda sorta friends

liked flow because she felt like she cared (and she actually kinda did)

pushes herself way too hard, somewhat self-conscious

got a few injuries during hero mode and was hesitant to let marie patch em up

straight up did not speak until callie got saved. still doesn't really talk much.

her and marie weren't super besties at first, the only reason they ever clicked was because they were both sad loners with negative self-esteem

'masu' came from eight, and she's kind of fond of the nickname

agent 8 (real name emiko 'miko' yamasaki):

marina found her real name in the octarian records seen in that one chat room session

actually was in a few kettles, was not very good

never wanted to fight, always wanted to write (poetry, specifically)

learned inkling from 4 and eventually 3

kept thinking 4's first name was masuda (it isn't.)

did not like going outside when she first arrived to the surface

wasn't an artist, but tended to draw hypothetical mem cakes of people she deemed important, like 3 and 4

smiles to cover up The Internal Suffering, almost no one ever buys it because a) it looks very fake and b) she never holds it. as soon as a stranger disappears, so does the smile

along with 3, callie, and marie, she consistently reminds 4 that she's stronger than she thinks and that she matters and isn't useless

terrifyingly good in turf and ranked, even won a championship that off the hook basically begged her to enter. she got a trophy and still thought 'cool i guess. no big deal.'

works at ammo knights in splat 3, and since she knows a thing or two about wounds n stuff from her time in the army, she's also the crew's medic

new 3 (real name veronika 'ronnie' yamada):

chill, goes with the flow, probably the happiest out of all the agents (not even that happy, it's a low bar to clear)

everyman when it comes to every mode (tableturf, turf, ranked, what have you)

cheers up people she's played with between matches if they're sad

oblivious to hiro's sort of obvious crush on her

barely redesigns her locker, and when they do, it's usually to add a sticker

used a fake ID to play turf in the splat 1 days, was tall for her age around that time. she still feels kinda guilty about it

waved back to deep cut post-RotM

found shiver chilling in the alternan ocean with master mega a few days after the events of RotM, got to pet him

a character who's just kind of. well. there

adopted kid of an inkling and an octoling, literally lived in a cabin in the woods. she's still in contact with them

resting face looks like smash ultimate young link's

steph and her are both acquaintances and besties. acquaintabesties. steph took care of them while they were sick and they took care of steph after she slosher machined her way into muscle atrophy (not actually, thankfully)

has a walkman and a boombox. doesn't even care what's official, just buys things from in-universe eBay

[flightfoot]

I saw the ask about Marinette keeping Gabe's ID from Adrien if she learns it. I agree entirely. Hording info has been one of Marinette's biggest character flaws(in a good, believable way, no salt as long as it gets addressed!) Overcoming that is going to be an important step before adrienette becomes a proper healthy relationship.

How many ships sink on the rocks of 'X will be happier not knowing'?

Along those veins I'm curious about your opinion on other scenarios. What if Adrien is in fact a senti- and she finds out, what if she finds out his identity? Which of these secrets is keepable, or should be shared, etc?

Yeah it is a tendency of Marinette's, for sure. She likes to control the flow of information in order to control variables better, keep things predictable so that hopefully, she can make better outcomes happen. Understandable, and useful in a strategist, but not so great from an interpersonal relationship level. She needs to not be freaked out about the possibility of the world ending if she told him though, that could be an issue.

But yeah if she finds out Gabriel's identity and doesn't tell Adrien, I REALLY want it to get addressed, especially since keeping secrets that she really shouldn't from the people she's close to (Chat Noir specifically) was a big problem last season. I thought she figured out that was a bad idea at the end of the season though, with Chat being upset about it and her apologizing at the end, so I'd hoped she'd figured out that wasn't the best idea, not when you needed a strong, trusting relationship.

Plus, frankly, Adrien has enough of people leaving him in the dark "for his own good".

As for Marinette finding out that Adrien's a senti, I'd argue that's an even more important thing to tell him than his father being a supervillain. He is in a lot of danger because of his status as a senti, especially from the mind control, and in a lot of distress sometimes over his seeming inability to fight back against Gabriel's demands. Plus there's the matter of what to do with his Amoks once she gets her hands on them, her keeping them while not even letting Adrien know that he HAS Amoks would be a horrible betrayal of trust on a fundamental level. You don't just keep it secret from your boyfriend that you've got objects which can be used to mind control or destroy him in an instant.

Her accidentally finding out Chat's identity, on the other hand, isn't that big a deal. Like sure, it'd be nice if she told him, but it doesn't actually alter much.

That's the big difference I think, is how much Adrien knowing these things alters his situation. If Marinette found out that Gabriel was Monarch pre-Monarch's takedown, for instance, then her not telling Adrien could endanger him in the sense that well, he's living with a magical terrorist. Though she'd have to be careful to wait until Adrien wasn't in a situation where Gabriel could read his emotions, since then he might pick up on the fact that Adrien knows his identity, which would endanger Adrien more than just not telling him would have.

If she found out after taking Monarch down, then the situation is less urgent, but there's also less excuse not to tell Adrien. At that point it really does just come down to "he'll be upset if he finds out his dad's a supervillain". I think it's plausible for Marinette to believe that this would be a good enough reason to keep something secret, as she tends to operate on a "it's not immoral so long as no one feels hurt because of this action" moral framework, but it IS still something he should know, as it alters his relationship with his father majorly, albeit not in a good way.

Her finding out Adrien's secret identity and not telling him isn't nearly as much of an issue. Like that'd be irritating if she didn't have some sort of reason for not divulging that she knows, but her knowing doesn't drastically alter things on Adrien's end that much, aside from making contacting each other a lot more convenient, and enabling him to talk about his home life with her.

Plus that's not a secret that's being kept FROM ADRIEN. In the other two scenarios, Adrien doesn't know the actual information that Marinette's keeping secret from him. While with his own secret identity, the only thing she's being kept secret is that she knows he's Chat, not the actual knowledge that Adrien is Chat Noir. Adrien KNOWS he's Chat Noir, it'd be a very different show otherwise.

[ellecdc]

ik my last ask was a lil more serious (and suuuper long, although this one probably wont be much better, sorry 😬) but now i'm here for the goofs n catching up. sorry its been another bit of time again, i had to recover from the fact that YOU! missed little old me?!?! immidiate bedrest as i come to terms with that fact. i figured id answer the questions i asked you (and respond to ur responses) bc i can't help myself!

34) i get not being up to people watching anymore, i'm there too, although i used to be quite the people watcher. there are definitely an influx of people in cities where just having to be in their presence without observing them is tiring (i live by a famous one, boy do i know this fact. one time a guy came up to me on the transit and just started telling me jokes. i didn't even respond, but that didn't matter to him lol. honestly some of the jokes were pretty good.) it's like they do all the people watching work for you.

69) as someone who has unfortunately had to both wash my hair with soap and body with shampoo (don't ask, they were both emergency instances lol) i can confirm that the shampoo option is indeed better by a long shot.

83) oh no sorry for putting you into a tough spot! your song choices are so fun tho, like i just feel happier listening to them, makes me wanna dance (also completely forgot how much chumbawumba's album art fucks me up lol). i got this answer mostly down pat and its like the complete opposite vibe to ur choices lol. my all time favorite song is going to california by led zeppelin so that's my choice, i am forever a slut for it's layered guitar parts and finger picking (and zeppelin in general). a close second is lover, you should've come over by jeff buckley. "broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it"?! "my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder"?! "all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter"?! like stfu jeff this is too good for us mortals.

lastly, in my like 10 years of reading fanfic i have never once been inclined to write my own until now, and that's all thanks to you! idk if they will ever get done -one's a honker and it's maybe halfway written, the other is a smut fic which,,, idk man we'll see- much less posted, but you never know 🤷 maybe one day i'll be off anon and have a writing blog. but i want to say thanks for the inspiration to rediscover my love for writing!

hope ur having a wonderful day lovebug 🩷🩷🩷

-ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

OMG SOMEONE ANSWERED THR WURSTIONS BACK IM SO EXCITED

People watching -> okay you’re so right though, people watching IS tiring. I don’t want to be perceived OR perceive!!

Body wash/shampoo -> Nooooo omg okay well I’m glad to know my answer was sound and should I ever find myself in a debacle I will choose wisely [thoughts and prayers to your hair]

Fave songs -> shut up did you actually look up the songs I listed?? That is so cool you’re so cool, what a cutie. Oof but your second song would be such good fic titles or prompts (hint hint you should do it)

And congratulations on your writing! I dont want to take credit at all though, I think you’re just a cool kid(tm) and are gonna do cool kid shit (i.e., writing fanfics) [no but fr, i think writing is so cathartic and good for the soul, it’s self care! I wrote for yeeeaaarrrrrssss before i ever thought to post anything, so even just writing for yourself is fucking tops, you rock it babes]

[alaskan-wallflower]

very angsty backstory incoming for baylie, read at your own risk

tw: mentions of drugs and such, depression, suicide, the works in an angsty oc backstory.

So!

What I think I’m gonna do with Baylie is have her have her be the second oldest out of seven siblings. She has an older brother, a set of twin siblings, ones a boy and ones a girl and the youngest is her youngest brother. Shes freshly 14 at the time of the move. Her brother is 18. The twins are around 9, her brother is 7, her youngest sister is around 5 and the youngest, an intersex child, was freshly born.

She loved to South Park from somewhere-debating between Australia and somewhere in Europe, likely Ireland or something. But her family moved to America because they didn’t have enough money to live where they were living. So she moved in with her grandparents for a bit. But then her parents and siblings move into a run down shack (think like Kenny’s home but not quite as bad).

Her father ends up in prison because the only way he was anle to make any money was by selling things illegally. After this, her mom kinda spiraled into a depression. At that point, her brother left her with her siblings while he went off to college because he didn’t want to deal with his crumbling family and depressed mom. So around this time, Baylie is basically parenting her three siblings while trying to keep her mom happy, hence her sunshiney exterior. She had been putting it on for years to keep those around her happy and peppy for years, so much so that it kind of just became her personality.

Her mom ends up taking her own life while Baylie and her siblings were at school, leaving Baylie to pick up the pieces. (Baylie was about sixteen at this time) So Baylie ends up having to work just as hard because the police force in South Park is absolute trash, so half the time she’s working four or five jobs on top of school. But the sunshine facade never really leaves her. She keeps in constant with her brother, but he’s off in college and can’t help her out much with money so she’s kind of on her own.

She ends up organizing everything for her siblings. She takes them to church/synagogue whenever she can-she did have a happier childhood before this where her parents were interfaith. her dad was Catholic and her mom was Jewish. They let the kids pick their own pathways when they’re old enough. So Bay tries to honor that. She organizes the twins’ bar/bat mitzvahs, if any of her siblings want to be baptized she organizes that…stuff like that. She looks older than she is and likely has a fake ID so she probably uses that a lot of the time. But she barely sleeps or eats. She’s lucky if she gets two hours a night. Even a meal a day is hard for her because she needs to make sure her siblings have food.

Anyway. I like to think that when some of the other kids find out, they help her somehow. Idk how or if they would but I like incorporating that into her backstory. In this timeline she’s sixteen. This all happened in the span of two years. She probably ends up having a mental breakdown at some point. So that’ll be fun

stay tuned for a comic yall-feel free to send in asks if you want!! i’d love to answer your questions about her/her backstory, i may be slow since i’m away with my family rn but i’ll do my best!