#i used to make these videos so instagram would give me money and now i dont know why im doing it

[meruz]

my once in a blue moon process video i actually like (for this). also a steps breakdown so i can try to mitigate the death of actual useful information that i think the short form video format has been ushering in

[httpsserene]

can you do a smau if you want where the reader is a driver and makes music on the side (music like sza or Megan thee stallion and kaliii) and she makes a music video for area codes and all her other music and it has the drivers in it

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 (𝐟𝟏) - 𝐲𝐧. 𝟎

summary: you make hit songs when you’re not driving a formula one car. your fellow drivers love to feature in your music videos. content warning: driver!reader makes music. toxic internet culture. profanity. hateful comments. attempt at humor. fluffy. light angst ig. there's no specific face claim, just pretty black women! ex-haas driver, current aston martin driver!reader. reader is american. seb retires in 2021, fernando is on the grid just not with aston martin. nikita mazepin mention lol. lando norris and george russell get bullied (humor). light british slander. no plot just vibes. pairing: platonic f1 grid x fem!black!driver!reader genre: smau.

from serene: i have a disease and it's called "being unable to make a normal length smau." it's a sickness, idk if i'll ever be abl to fulfill a request without the plot running away from me. anyways, enjoy loves xxx

⌕ join taglist | requests & feedback | table of contents ↻

yn ln signs multi-year contract with aston martin • espn f1 • 2021 post-season

ESPN F1 yn ln has signed a multi-year contract with Aston Martin! The American driver completes the team’s lineup with Lance Stroll. Even though she was an F4, F3, and GP3 Champion, and she won the F2 Championship on her first try with Prema; her F1 career began with unexpected opportunities and last-minute substitutions—becoming a reserve driver for Haas and filling in for Romain Grosjean after his accident in 2020, and then replacing Nikita Mazepin halfway through the 2021 F1 season—an official seat of her own in Formula One was a long time coming and well deserved. Congratulations to yn ln, the first Black woman to race in Formula One!

instagram • yn0 • 2022 pre-season

liked by astonmartinf1, lewishamilton, maxverstappen, sza, and 3,451,967 others

yn0: i have always believed that being an f1 driver would become my reality. it was a never a dream to me because i KNEW i was going to make it here. i’m incredibly thankful to haas for giving my first chance to race in the big league and i will miss all the incredible people who helped me grow and improve while i was there. however, i am extremely grateful and excited to have a seat of my own at aston martin in 2022 and onward. some critics have called me "conceited" to bet on myself, so i made a song just for them < 3

tagged astonmartinf1

view comments

yn0 on sundays, we wear green 💚

➥ user1 you're an inspiration to all women in motorsport, especially women of color 💚💚💚

➥ user2 praying that your aston is quicker than your haas! prove the haters wrong 😤

astonmartinf1: we'll bet on you every race! can't wait to play this in the garage 💚

haasf1team: take care of our songbird 🥲

➥ haasf1team: and keep the tea and honey STOCKED for her vocal cords

➥ user3: i’m gonna cry :(

user4: yeah who paid for her seat? no way she got it off skill. she's never been above p12. f1 has changed for the worse now that a woman's out there. she's a hazard.

➥ user5: incel mindset 😒

➥ user6: bro she was in a haas. reaching p12 in that car is enough of an achievement. better than mazepin ever did, even with his daddy's money 🤷‍♂️

lewishamilton: LFG 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 can't wait to see you in the paddock

➥ yn0: lfgggggg 🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️

➥ yn0: i wouldn't be racing at all if i didn't see you do it first :)

sebastianvettel: prove them all wrong and never apologize for it.

➥ yn0: i learned from the best 🥹 happy retirement, seb!

mickschumacher: "no reason to make friends, i'm cool"??? is that line about somebody else or should i be worried 🤨

➥ maxverstappen: yeah let us know 🙄 your seat on the jet can be revoked

➥ yn0: bros...we all know who it's really about

➥ user8: you can say it's about mazepin nobody will be mad at that 🤗🤗🤗

landonorris: wish it was papaya, but i can't wait to see you in green!

➥ yn0: you know what?i think I CAN wait

➥ yn0: i'm actually going to quit f1 rn i think 😐

➥ user9: lando stop, get some help

lancestroll: hi teammate!

➥ yn0: hi teammate!

➥ user6: oh,,, this is awkward

charlesleclerc: finally 🙌🏻 i thought you would never drop this song

➥ yn0: the music is more important than my f1 seat to you 🙂

➥ charlesleclerc: encore encore encore 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

georgerussell: i would be happy for you if i didn't know this meant you'll be bullying me every race weekend

➥ alexalbon: she smells your fear which makes you an easy target

➥ alexalbon: CONGRATSSS 🥳🥳🥳🥳

➥ yn0: 🤭

instagram • yn0 • 2022

liked by charlesleclerc, lewishamilton, megantheestallion, and 2,191,042 others

yn0: thee "cognac queen" learns how to celebrate their FIRST EVER f1 points in italy with their honorary prince 🇮🇹 im in my gacccc, i wanna danceeee, come get yo man, come getcho maaaannnnn 🍾🍾🍾

tagged charlesleclerc

view comments

user10: WOOOOOAH WHATS ABOUT TO PLAY 😳

➥ user11: she PUT IT ON HIM last night apparently 🫣

➥ user12: he calling her BACK TO BACK????

astonmartinf1: you only win first points once but you only have one liver. please show up to the paddock next week 🥴

➥ yn0: don't worry admin i'll be there bright and early!

➥ user13: drink responsibly kids alcohol poisoning is not fun

➥ user14: aston martin shouldn't stress. it sounds like charles took very good care of her 😏😏😏

user15: i feel like i shouldn't be allowed to watch that video (i'm 23)

➥ user16: they were having a tiiiiiiiiime out in italy 🫦

➥ user17: if she was all over me like she was on charles i would be asking about marriage. he's so much stronger than i am 🙂‍↔️

charlesleclerc: went courvoisier crazyyyy

➥ charlesleclerc: je suis très fière de toi (i'm very proud of you) ❤️

➥ yn0: thank you charlieee (for the mv too x) 😚

➥ user18: oh so she really got charles thinking that he's her man???

➥ user19: you were DOGGING it? i didn’t know charles had it in him 🐶🐶🐶

user20: ew this is gross. charles is in a happy relationship and we're all going to pretend like yn isn't a homewrecker???

➥ user21: i was waiting to see this comment! this is like proof she used her body to get on the grid 👀

mickschumacher: no way you put charles in a video before me...i thought we were locked in 😞

➥ yn0: mick be so for real. you hate cognac :(

➥ user22: mick said we suffered through haas together and you already forgot about me

landonorris: are you looking for a cognac king?

➥ alexalbon: boys point and laugh 🫵🏼🤣

➥ charlesleclerc: 🫵🏻🤣

➥ maxverstappen: 🫵🏻🤣

➥ georgerussell: 🫵🏻🤣

➥ mickschumacher: 🫵🏻🤣🤣🤣💀

➥ user23: 🫵🏾🤣

lewishamilton: xnda feature when you make it on the podium

➥ yn0: i'll be up there next week.

➥ user24: bring back xnda girl !!! for all of us 🙇🏽‍♀️

instagram • yn0 • 2022

liked by alexalbon, astonmartinf1, maxverstappen, sza, and 4,233,761 others

yn0: my girl is my girl, is your girl, heard that's his girl too...he's like 9 to 5, i'm "the weekend"

tagged alexalbon, lilymhe

view comments

astonmartinf1: highest race finish of your career can you drop a fire song to celebrate 🥵

➥ lancestroll: team karaoke when????

➥ yn0: make it happen and i will show out for y'all 💯

user25: this video was funny af! my favorite song from you so far 😁

➥ user26: yessss i was not expecting her to flip the song in the video like that 🤌🏻💋

➥ user27: the premise of her and alex fighting over lily was perfect 👌🏽

lilymhe: make me lose my mind every weekend 😮‍💨

➥ alexalbon: you take wednesday thurday 🧎🏼‍♂️‍➡️

➥ yn0: then just send her my wayyyyy 🤤

➥ user28: think i got it covered for the weekend 🎤🎶

landonorris: i'm available any day of the week with no other commitments blocking my schedule ☺️

➥ georgerussell: mate this is embarrasing

➥ mickschumacer: lando no wins & no rizz what a shame 😒

➥ user29: MICK CHILLLLL ⁉️⁉️

➥ user30: whatdidhedo to deserve that calm downnnn

➥ charlesleclerc: lando please just listen to the song like everybody else this is painful to see 😣

maxverstappen: you laced this song with something addictive

➥ schecoperez: i hear it on repeat through the wall he is not lying

➥ user31: yn ln gives you wings 🤪

user32: just because lily was in the video and yn made the focus of the song about her doesn't mean that the orginal song is okay? it's not like she stopped singing about being a side chick.

➥ user33: no, it literally IS okay. because lily and alex both said they made the song with her and were happy to be in the video 🙂

➥ user34: i don't know, lily agreeing to the video makes me dislike her

➥ user35: yeah this song was a miss not a good message at all

instagram • danica patrick • 2022

liked by 10,764 others

danicapatrick: “This past weekend the Aston Martin F1 crew celebrated yn’s P5 finish track side and, honestly, that was unnecessary. It’s not like she managed to reach the podium and personally, I feel like she doesn’t take F1 seriously. I mean, it seems like she spends more time making explicit songs than she does preparing for a race weekend. Her little songs are a distraction to the men on the grid and she appears as a promiscuous, immature, and unfocused girl. She’s not the formula one standard, in my opinion.”

I discuss yn ln’s career in the new episode of my podcast, Pretty Intense! Click the link in my bio to hear it all!

tagged prettyintensebydanica

view comments

user36: ms. patrick are you familiar with the idea of having a hobby 🤔

nicorosberg: how are you qualified to be an expert on sky sports?

user37: woman who's never raced in f1 gives her unsolicited opinion on the only black woman to race in f1 😂

user38: danica this screams jealousy girl

user39: nothing is worse than hearing a fellow girl hate like a man smh

user40: "her little songs" disrespectful as hell don't forget one of them charted on billboard's top 10 😤

user41: SHE GOT P5 IN AN ASTON MARTIN how is that not taking f1 seriously????

user42: if her songs were a distraction to the men on the grid aren't they the ones who should be described as unfocused🤫

➥ user42: anyways, yn would be doing us a favor. maybe max wouldn't win as many races if that were the case

instagram • yn0 • 2022 post-season

liked by dominicfike, keithpowers, tchalamet, summerwalker, and 7,988,531 others

yn0: "girls need love," too.

view comments

user43: OH MY GOD the drought is over 😭😭😭

➥ user44: i thought we'd never get another song after the hate she was getting for it 😫

michaelbjordan: are you interested in a private studio session?

➥ landonorris: she don't want u lil bro 🤣

➥ user45: yn's pulling with three photo's and a song,,,teach me your ways

astonmartinf1: the spine tattoo 😍 good choice to get it during the off-season 💚

➥ user46: i misjudged you aston... i thought y'all told her to stop making music glad to see the support is still there :)

mickschumacher: let’s go get some gelato?

➥ yn0: as long as you don’t snitch to my trainer 😚

➥ mickschumacher: i’ll pick you up 😇

➥ landonorris: imma bout to crash TF out ong 💢💢

patriciooward: there's a spot on my side of the garage whenever you want to watch an indycar race

➥ landonorris: oh wow is this really what we're doing pato 😐

➥ user47: the tension in this comment section scares me

jjetas2: if you're near minnesota one day fall through

➥ landonorris: win a superbowl first 🥱😴

➥ user48: LANDO you haven't won a race or a championship either 😭

judebellingham: have you gotten any better at football since the last time we spoke?

➥ landonorris: knew i supported man united for a reason 😒

lore_musetti: call me if you want a real italian to give you a tour of italy x

➥ landonorris: didn't know an italian could disrespect charles like that honestly 🤨

➥ user49: 💀💀💀

instagram • yn0 • 2023

liked by georgerussell, mickschumacher, megantheestallion, and 4,178,063 others

yn0: japanese nightlife captured in my new music video “mamushi” !!! thank uuu yuki-san for being my tour guide 💋💋💋💋💋💋

tagged yukitsunoda

view comments

georgerussell: i quite enjoy this song 😌

➥ alexalbon: bro what

➥ yn0: tEa aND cRuMPets SConEs AnD biScUIts 💂🇬🇧

charlesleclerc: triple platinum in my house rn ⭐️⭐️⭐️

➥ alexandrasaintmleux: i'm responsible for at least a million views on my own 🥱

➥ yn0: 💚💚💚💚💚

user50: at least we know that yn and yuki can qualify for formula drift if they ever lose their f1 seat

➥ user51: 95% of the driving they were doing in that video looked illegal (but fun asl i'm not a buzzkill)

➥ user52: she's a bad influence on yuki 🙄

➥ user53: i don't think you're familiar with yuki tsunoda at all @/user52

maxverstappen: yeah the song is catchy; where's mine 🥱

➥ yn0: damn you're gonna win a third championship this year and you want a song too 😱

➥ yn0: just big and greedy fr 😒

➥ user54: big back attitude

➥ user55: like sheesh leave something for the rest of us 🤯

user50: gets p3 in suzuka driving an aston 🗿-> shrugs when asked how she did it 🗿 -> makes a banger mv in japan with yuki 🗿 -> refuses to elaborate 🗿

pierregasly: yuki explain your behavior in this video

➥ yukitsunoda: no 🤗

➥ user56: maybe he would've told you if you stayed at alphatauri

➥ user57: now you're in an alpine 🫵🏻😭

instagram • yn0 • 2023 post-season

liked by charlesleclerc, logansargeant, glorillathepimp, and 9,337,272 others

yn0: he don't "wanna be" saved don't save him 🤫

tagged maxverstappen

view comments

yn0: i don't need insurance cause a bitch CAN'T WRECK ME

➥ user58: no like she's never been in a crash her entire f1 career 🤓

➥ user59: she's untouchable srs

logansargeant: WHITE BOY WASTED CHANNING TATUM

➥ yn0: hoes love me like justin bieber ��👅👅

user60: omg an old picture from yn's haas era when max's redbull wasn't a rocket ship 😩

➥ haasf1team: good times

➥ astonmartinf1: 💚💚💚

maxverstappen: you graduated from the max verstappen school of being unstoppable 😼

➥ charlesleclerc: austria 2022

➥ georgerussell: brazil 2022

➥ mickschumacher: my dad’s 7 championships

➥ alexalbon: i have nothing to add (literally)

➥ maxverstappen: out of the five of us we have three total world championships and they're all mine 😐

glorillathepimp: go yn 🥵

➥ yn0: get it glo 👅

➥ user61: i am no better than a man

➥ user62: i want this video tattooed on my eyelids

mickschumacher: i don't wanna be saved don't save me

➥ yn0: on gang 🤞🏾🔒🙅🏾‍♀️

kellypiquet: twenty missed calls...

➥ yn0: i would like to initiate a trade! i offer: max :) in return i receive: my twin p 🤲🏾

➥ kellypiquet: i will have a bag packed for her TONIGHT

➥ user63: kelly definitely won in that trade agreement! a childfree night??? sign me the fuck up ‼️

user64: i didn't think it was possible but this song is the worst thing she's ever made 😂

➥ user65: it's weird. max is in a committed relationship with a woman and has bonded with her kid. yn's getting involved with him when she shouldn't be 🤷‍♀️

➥ user66: girl she's been around since wayyyy before kelly as max's friend.

➥ user67: she forced max into friendship when they were karting back when he thought he couldn't have racing friends🥺

➥ user66: trauma bonded besties fr

sky sports f1 • 2024 testing

instagram • yn0 • 2024

liked by natalie_pinkham, danielricciardo, laybankz and 5,438,023 others

yn0: (my honest reaction when the internet can't stop talking shit about me) can't i make fun music videos without being called a homewrecker or a whore? sometimes "girls just wanna" f1 !

view comments

user68: no bc she makes hot girl music and y'all dont appreciate it 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

➥ user69: if you don't like her music you're not a baddie i don't make the rules 🙅🏻‍♀️

user70: did she just make the song of the summer 😱😵‍💫☠️

➥ user71: song of the YEAR !!! and people calling her a whore smh

landonorris: what if you make an mv with me and instead of being called a whore i call you my girlfriend?

➥ mickschumacher: corny. delete your account 🚮

➥ user72: i disagree with mick, he ate that up imo 👀

➥ user73: isn't he messing around with that model/actress though…

➥ user74: you mean m*gui lol

➥ yn0: who's that

➥ user74: lando's recent sneaky link or gf i thought

➥ yn0: oh

charlesleclerc: if i were to call you one thing it would not be homewrecker or whore ✊🏻

➥ charlesleclerc: it would be hit-maker because you DO NOT MISS 😩

➥ alexalbon: one could even call her the 🐐

➥ georgerussell: grammy caliber artist

➥ maxverstappen: they compare her to lebron and simone biles in discussion of being the greatest of all time 😌

➥ yn0: just yesterday y'all said i give slut energy (affectionately) 😕

➥ maxverstappen: many things can be true at the same time

➥ charlesleclerc: false ‼️ accusations

sabrinacarpenter: girls just wanna have fun 😋

➥ user75: OMG sabrina what are you doing here

➥ user76: what in the disney channel crossover episode is going on

imessage • yn -> lando

instagram • yn0 • 2024

liked by mclaren, mickschumacher, lewishamilton, laybankz, and 8,765,392 others

yn0: dropping the "tell ur girlfriend" video tonight as celebration for lando's first win (me next please!) i DO NOT codone cheating but the song is too hard for me to pretend like it's not a banger 🤪

tagged landonorris

view comments

landonorris: you look good in papaya 🧡🧡🧡

➥ astonmartinf1: it's a little too much for our tastes 🤢

➥ yn0: i look good in any color but i do happen to prefer green 💚

➥ user77: i think lando's on to smth w the orange tho 🤔

landonorris: that's my girlfriend !!!!

➥ yn0: NO I AM NOT ❌❌❌

➥ yn0: WE WERE ACTING IN THIS MUSIC VIDEO

➥ yn0: LANDO I WILL SUE YOU FOR DEFAMATION 🤬

➥ landonorris: i'll wait for you 😔

➥ mickschumacher: she's so uninterested in you mate 🙃

user78: he gets his first win and a yn ln music video i know he's on cloud nine 😭😭😭

➥ user79: lando how does it feel to be living my dream 😩

oscarpiastri: oh thank god maybe he'll stop talking about you nonstop now that he got a video 🙏🏻

➥ landonorris: bro delete this comment

➥ user80: i screenshotted it too late 🫡

user81: she doesn't condone cheating but makes a song promoting it anyways 😑

➥ user82: she doesn't condone cheating but messes with lando even though she knows he's taken by magui 😑

➥ user83: she doesn't condone cheating but makes a song about it because it sounds fucking fire 🫦👅🔥🔥🔥

alexalbon: great video too much lando for me 😪

➥ georgerussell: he really just ruined the vibe

➥ charlesleclerc: y'all just mad you haven't been in one of her videos yet 🙂‍↔️

➥ maxverstappen: i don't see how you can hate from outside of the club 🤷🏼‍♂️

➥ landonorris: you can't even get in 🫵🏻🤣

twitter • yn0

instagram • yn -> the day ones

instagram • yn0 • 2024 post-season

liked by maxverstappen, fernandoalonso, zhouguanyu24, kaliii and 12,779,436 others

yn0: hoes mad about my roster being INTERNATIONAL smh stay mad and watch the music video for "area codes" it features all the men (my FRIENDS ✨) you'll never have a chance with 😇😚🤗🤭🤤💚💚💚

tagged f1

view comments

user84: no xnda feature but she got lewis in the fucking video

user85: i just wannna know hwo the fuck she got checo to be in the video 💀

user86: idc what the haters say: she just said y'all have no motion, no aura, no bitches and what are you gonna do about it 😳😳😱

user89: she got lando and mick in a photo together??? how they've been beefing in her comments for years 😧

➥ user90: can't believe im saying this but esteban did not deserve to be punished like that 😬

georgerussell: i am the one feeding her pasta and lobster btw

➥ yn0: you don't send me money tho :(

➥ georgerussell: you are an f1 driver too you don't need my money 🧐

charlesleclerc: can you leave some talent for the rest of us 😒

➥ yn0: bro u are mozart on your days off be serious

lilymhe: cause why are u never in town 😞

➥ alexalbon: cause she'll steal you from me 😭😫

➥ yn0: i'm pulling up rn lils 🫦

lewishamilton: you want a mercedes or a xnda feature?

➥ yn0: im tryna take the mercedes seat you left behind 👀

➥ user91: omfg toto sign herrrrrrrr ✍️

maxverstappen: anything for my favorite lady 🙇🏼🧎🏼‍♂️

➥ yn0: i gotta go they just lmk that i could pick up my mercedes 🏃🏾‍♀️💨

user92: lando in two photos? sus

➥ landonorris: you said it not me 🤫

➥ mickschumacher: bro you acted like her shadow the entire night don't let it go to your head 😠

fernandoalonso: very fun song!

➥ user93: you too old to be doin all that fernando :/

➥ user94: literally choked when i saw him in the video

logansargeant: hey you did manage to get me in "one of your little music videos" 🤭

➥ yn0: if only they knew that you agreed with a bribe of two zebra cakes

➥ user95: they couldn't fathom the delicacy that is a zebra cake 🤤

yn0: stop pretending to dislike my songs and realize that the boys are my homies. you'll be a lot happier when you come to terms with that 🥱

© httpsserene 2024

[pyrrhiccomedy]

What sort of proof would you need to believe that a fundraiser was real?

I actually put in the legwork to verify one of these fundraisers today (I wanted to see how hard it was to actually vet one of these posts). It took about an hour, but I was satisfied by the end of it that the person in question exists, is who they are claiming to be, has a GoFundMe, and that the GoFundMe being spread around is probably the same one being linked to (I wasn't 100% satisfied by what I could find on that count? but I ended up in a place where I was reasonably confident). I'm happy to share my work, and have added it below.

I've gotten a lot of nasty messages since making that post accusing me of being anti-Palestine. My heart and money is 100% with Palestine, and I've given as much as I can afford, to reputable aid organizations. I believe both in a free Palestine, and doing your own research on the recipients of your money when you decide to financially contribute to a cause.

Anyway, this is the GoFundMe that I think is legit, and below is the legwork I did to reach that conclusion. While I still think it is better to give to a relief organization if your goal is improving the lot of the people in Gaza, I don't think this one is a scam.

This is the fundraiser for Eman Zaqout, who - first of all - is a real person! This is very easy to verify: Googling her name returns a LinkedIn with a complete work history (she is a molecular biologist), her profile with Unesco, and her profile with the Palestine Academy for Science & Technology. You know, the kind of stuff you'd expect to see when you Google someone. Great start.

Next step: Is the person running this GoFundMe the real Dr. Zaqout? (While I have some sources which say she is in a PhD fellowship and does not yet have her doctorate, she is listed as Dr. Zaqout at the Palestine Academy for Science & Technology, and I'd prefer to use the honorific in case it may in fact be more appropriate.)

So. Dr. Zaqout joined LinkedIn in 2014. And she does link to her Instagram from her LinkedIn, and her Instagram links to the GoFundMe. That's a great start!

However, it's worth mentioning that her contact information on LinkedIn was updated less than 3 months ago (which includes the link to her Instagram). Given the number of Palestinians whose accounts have been hacked or spoofed by scammers in order to lend their scams legitimacy, I don't love that change. That coincides with the surge in scam activity following the All Eyes on Rafah movement gaining momentum. Plenty of Palestinians have had their entire social media presences stolen by scammers.

However again - her LinkedIn (which, as established, may be compromised) also links to a TikTok account! And the TikTok account has video! And that sure looks to me like Dr. Zaqout in the video! While the photo of her on LinkedIn is no longer trustworthy since we know her account has been updated in the past 3 months, there is also a photo of her here at Palast.ps, which is a legitimate scientific organization. And yeah, sure, a dedicated scammer could have hacked that too, but there are also photos of her on LinkedIn that look like this:

It's not the best photo in the world, but it's identifiably her. Fabricating this kind of ephemera is more than I would expect of your typical charity scammer.

And in the most recent TikTok video of her, she's even talking about a GoFundMe, on 7/17! And she posted another video on 7/21 in which she is not seen, but you can hear her voice, and it does sound like her.

Today is August 2nd. The last two videos uploaded to Dr. Zaqout's TikTok are just photo collages, so they can't be used to verify that she still has control of her social media accounts. But for now, I'm prepared to say with some confidence that that woman is Dr. Eman Zaqout, that Dr. Zaqout is legitimately a Palestinian scientist, she did actually start a GoFundMe, and that she was posting about it as recently as 12 days ago.

All right all right, we are cooking folks. The last questions we need to answer: is this actually Dr. Zaqout's GoFundMe? The last scenario we need to rule out is that her social media presence was stolen in the last 12 days.

Let's start with that GoFundMe.

First of all, it's not being run by Dr. Zaqout. That's normal: GoFundMe isn't supported in Palestine, and all Palestinians will have to rely on friends or family abroad to set up their campaigns and collect donations on their behalf. This campaign is being run by a Mazin Fakak. I think that's supposed to be this Mazin Fakak, which makes sense; he is based in Quebec, and Dr. Zaqout either studied at or is in close affiliation with McGill University, which is in Quebec. He also lists Arabic as one of his spoken languages. So far this is a plausible connection for Dr. Zaqout to have. His LinkedIn profile also hasn't been updated in over a year, which makes me disinclined to think this is a recently-stolen scam account.

My one issue here is that when I Google Fakak, this is all that comes up. A LinkedIn profile created in 2014 that hasn't been touched in over a year, and two GoFundMe fundraisers for Palestinian families. And Dr. Zaqout never mentions Fakak anywhere. I would feel 100% confident of this fundraiser if she did.

But while my investigation into Fakak didn't turn up anything that confirms the connection to Zaqout, it also does nothing to disprove it, and the circumstantial evidence available to me lends credibility to the claim. So while I land somewhere around 80% on the verifiable credibility of this GoFundMe, please balance that against my 95%+ confidence in Zaqout's legitimacy, and the fact that she appears to still have control of her socials as of 12 days ago. If she posts on TikTok with another live video again (and not a photo slideshow, which can't be considered verification of anything), then I'd say this one is completely safe.

[simmerianne93]

[Simmerianne93]Portrait_poses_11

----------

Hello everyone!!! How are you today???!!!

I'm 3 days late with these poses.... sorry for that... but here they are!!! Finally!!! The winner pack from the last public survey: Portrait poses with triplets!!! and as such it's a free pack for everyone to enjoy, inmediatly...

Thank you so so so so much for participate in the survey! I'll be doing another one soon, so keep an eye in my socials and here for the announce!!

I really love this pack! I know I say that a lot lately haha but I trully love this one.

Back when Growing Together went on sale, a friend of mine give it to me.... I decided to play with a sim called Pilar to test the expansion pack and she fell in love with Don Lothario. I don't hate Don, I actually love him. I read an NSB that redeemed him a few years ago and I started to love him. So I was glad that my lovely Pilar fell in love with him in this save. They woohoo and my game decided to troll me and give me for the first time a pregnancy with triplets... no traits used no on the sims, nor in the lot... It was just a game's choice.

A few days later, when the triplets were beautiful infants, Pilar and Don wished to woohoo again... I was hesitant xD (I have Mccc and WW installed, and I have a % to get a sim pregnant even with the normal woohoo interaction) and every time they were going to Woohoo, I would cancel the action, but after canceling it about 5 or 6 times, I decided to let them be haha and that was a mistake, 'cause they got pregnant again... with triplets.... yeah... no cheats, no traits... it just seems that this Don and my lovely Pilar were too fertiles... hahahaha...

Anyway, I got two triplets in a row, with just two woohoo tries... and that was when I started to think about triplet packs. Actually, that's how my "Infant_poses_01" came to life... and now you have this new posepack, inspired for that unexpected event to "complete" in a way the triplet's journal... haha kind of a "memories" posepack, triplets for all ages from infants to teen/adults.

I hope you all like them as I do, because I'm in love with the way they came out:

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What is on it?

12 groupal poses:

4 poses for 5 sims (2 adults and 3 infants; 2 adults and 3 toddlers; 2 adults and 3 kids; and 5 teens/aduts)

4 poses for 4 sims (1 adult and 3 infants; 1 adult and 3 toddlers; 1 adult and 3 kids; and 4 teens/adults)

4 poses for 3 sims (3 infants; 3 toddlers; 3 kids; and 3 teens/adults)

--- What do you need?

Andrew poses player.

Teleport any sim by Scumbumbo or Mccc by deaderpool.

"Rustic stool" chair from "Jungled Adventure" Gamepack (tho it can be use with some other "stools" from the game like the one from "For rent" Expansionpack)

"The hipster hugger" sofa from Basegame (or any 3sits-sofa, tho it can glitch a little bit depending on wich sofa you choose)

A double bed.

Invisible infant mat replacement  by mcrudd  (OPTIONAL)

Instructions in the original post.

——

TOU

Do not claim my creations as your own.

Do not re-upload or modify my creations.

Do not make money of my creations.

Do not include my creations in Mods folders to download.

Please follow my Term Of Use.

——

Download it now here — [FREE FOR EVERYONE]

——————

If you want to support me:  Patreon | Ko-fi

All my poses overview: Pinterest |  Wix | Tumblr

More in-game preview pics of all my poses: Instagram

My socials: Twitter | BlueSky | Instagram | Tumblr 

Lives and videos: Youtube

——————

I really hope you like them and I will say in advance: Thank you so much for using them.

@ts4-poses

[h0ttestgrlinm0urgu3]

PORN ☆

Dominic Fike x Reader

porn star reader!

[warnings: smut, p in v, drug usage(both), reader might be a lil brat, like one use of (y/n), 'recording' sex, dom Dominic, degrading but with love, daddy kink]

[modern day Dominic I just want yall to know that.... bc he is so fine 😋]

[not proof read sorry in advance for any mistakes]

-----

To say you were proud of yourself would be an understatement.

you've always known you wanted to be in the entertainment industry, so as soon as you turned eighteen, you started stripping. you worked all the time, never spending the money you made because you lived at home with your mom. you focused on learning, if anything.

learning what men liked to hear so they'll spend money, but mostly learning about yourself. and what did you learn? that you were in love with entertaining, you loved shaking your ass and having people throw money on you, being the center of attention. having eyes on you.

When you turned nineteen, you took all the money you saved up and moved out. still dancing you started exploring more, finally losing your virginity and finding out you loved sex. cumming was literally the best thing you ever experienced.

you decided to start a twitter for fun, just posting videos of you shacking your ass at first.

you built a following over the year when you decided to move to California. you weren't really in the middle of the city, but you were close enough to still get action. you made some friends and on your 20th birthday they took you out to a club, were you had the best idea to start an only fans.

that night when you got home you ran to your bed and opened your laptop made an account and uploaded a video by the next morning. cumming at least three times before you tapped out.

this lead you to where you are now.

you've made a name for yourself in the porn industry while mostly making solo content. sometimes you'll connect with other porn stars and make videos, but you tend to stick to making videos by yourself.

you've completely stopped dancing and live as a full time porn star, even moving to other platforms. you love it.

it wasn't even about the money, honesty you were just a slut. you fucking loved cummming all the time. you loved it even more when you knew people were paying just to get off to you cumming. you especially loved the way people fucked you when the cameras where on.

you just haven't found the person to fuck you the way you needed when they were off, which is why you tend to stick to solo content.

but enough about that lets talk about where you are now.

☆

which is running late as you scramble to get your heels on before searching for the bag you took out for this outfit.

finally done running to grab your keys off of the hook as you walk out the door. as you lock it your phone rings making you groan. 'hello' you breath out walking to your car. 'don't hello me where are you' your friend Dominic asks.

you and Dominic's relationship was special to say the least. you guys meet through Instagram about a year ago. he was heavily active in your comment section before moving to your dm's. he was cute so you entertained it. you guys hit it off quite well and became friends quickly moving to irl .

you've been cool ever since and your currently heading to one of his shows as we speak.

'im heading out the door right now' you answer locking your front door. 'you gonna be here in time?' he questions making you chuckle as you sit, getting comfortable and buckling, letting your phone connect to your car. 'yes I am, I'll be speeding so you'll see me earlier.' you reply as you back out of your driveway.

☆

speed walking to his dressing room not knocking as usual you see Dominic at his mirror smoking a blunt, he looks over to you. 'so I wasn't here earlier' you laugh as you put your bag down giving him a hug while he sat. 'at least you haven't gone on yet' you say giving him a kiss on the cheek taking the blunt from his hand before going to sit on his couch 'you good baby' he said.

re lighting his blunt, takin a pull 'stop calling me baby Dominic' you tell him. tilting his head as he smiled 'you really gon keep playing wit me-' he questioned just before someone knocked on the door, letting him know he needed to go on.

letting out a laugh before telling you ''you better pay attention to his performance'' before he left.

☆

after his concert yall went back to your place to roll up and chill. your in your pajamas sitting on the love seat that's on your porch. taking the blunt from his fingers as he handed it to you. 'when you think you making another video wit someone?' he asked sitting across from you. taking a hit of the blunt and inhaling before answering 'I don't know I gotta find someone to film with' talking another hit of the blunt before handing it back.

watching his lips as he inhales the smoke, licking his lips after exhales. letting your eye drop to his adams apple as he speaks 'why you keep doing this?' he aks with a smile, bringing your eyes back to his face 'doing what?' you question licking your lips. rising from his chair taking another hit as he walks to stand infront of you.

blowing the smoke into your face before asking 'why won't you fuck me' taking his free hand and tucking your hair behind your ear before gripping your chin and titling your head up. bringing the blunt to your lips as you inhale. you bring your legs down and squeeze your thighs together as you feel your pussy getting wet. 'keep going' he speaks encouraging you to take a big hit before stepping back and putting the blunt out in the ashtray.

your eyes low and slightly teary from the hit you just took you watch him as him moves. following him like a lost puppy as he walks into your house on a mission. 'what are you doing?'you question your a little dazed trying not to focus on your need to cum. like the strongest need youve ever felt, all from a touch and some words.

he walks into your room as you sit on the couch. you can hear him moving around, but you stay put until there's silence. he finally exits your room before speaking 'can I fuck you?' he bluntly asks making your jaw drop. standing in front of you '(y/n) I'm so serious I've wanted to fuck you since I se-' he starts before you cut him off 'yes'.

a beat of silence passes before your in his arms lips on his. one of his hands hosting you up while the other grips your hair. one of yours rests on the back of his neck while the other cupped his face.

grinding your pussy into him to get and friction he makes his way to your bed room.

tossing you onto the bed making you whine at the loss of contact he turns his back to you grabbing something.

'Dominic what ar-' you get cut of by him shushing you as he turned around revealing your camera. 'smile baby' he says. to which you happily comply. you absolutely adored being on camera whether it was posted or not. 'aw look at that the cameras on and the slut is comming out' he says laughing.

'get undressed for the camera' he tells you getting closer as you pull your tank top over your head letting your tits out. squeezing them as you made eye contact with Dominic 'aw that's so pretty baby'. you can feel your pussy dripping as you let go of your tits and sit on your knees pulling your shorts down and off leaving you in your underwear.

Dominic's finally infront lf you getting a good shot of your boobs as he gropes them with his free hand. 'fuck baby you make me so hard' he says moving the camera up to your face. you haven't even been fucked yet and you look like your sex drunk already 'fuck me daddy' you say as you take his hand off your boob and pulling it down to underwear letting him feel just got wet you are.

Dominic lets out a groan and a 'fuck' before taking his hand out and walking into your closet.

he comes back with the tripod and sets up the camera facing your bed.

coming over to you he takes his shirt off throwing it somewhere before stepping out of his jeans you lay on your back raising your legs to take off your underwear Dominic following suit.

he was hard as fuck and he has such a pretty cock. gripping the base as he lazyly strocked his cock looking into your eyes 'how you want me to fuck your first baby?' he asked grinning widely as you let out a whimper.

flipping yourself over to lay on your stomach and pushing your ass up and towards him before looking back 'is this okay?' you questioned...

gripping your ass with one hand looking down at you. he thought you looked so beautiful ass up, one arm stretched gripping the sheet your other lazyly played with your clit as he rand the tip or his dick between your folds.

tapping your hand on your clit with the tip of his dick. 'ask me to fuck you' he demanded.

'fuck me Dominic' you moan out.

stepping back, grabbing the camera. recording you laid out for him before re taking his position.

getting shots of him dragging his fingers through your pussy collecting your juices before turning the camera to face him and sucking you off of his fingers.

facing the camera back to you before he spoke 'put me in you baby' he said making you whimper grasping his cock from under you and guiding him to your entrance desperatly trying you put him in 'so big daddy' you whine.

Dominic puts the camera on his shoulder and pushs your hand out the way. your about to say something he grips the base of his cock and rams into you.

'FUCKKK' you moan out. feeling him so deep in you as you grind your hips back. 'God baby' tossing the camera onto the bed Dominic grabs your arms bring your back to his cheast.

slowly grinding into you 'dom the.. camera' you breath out as he slowly fucks into you. 'what about it?' he questions bringing one hand to your neck. 'it..fuck.' you moan out as he brings his other hand to your clit. 'i-it cant-t see us' you barley get out as he speeds up his thrusting.

'it was never recording' he says before heavily picking up his pace fucking deep into you. reaching places you've never been touched before.

you can hear Dominic's moans and even him whimpering behind you.

'fuckkkkkk' you moan out.

feeling the pressure building in you about to snap 'dom- fuck.. im gonna cum' you manage to whisper as he pounds into you from behind.

ypu doubt he heard you. with how loud the sounds from how hard he's thrusting combined woth the sloshing sound from how wet ypur pussy is. not even to mention Dominic's moaning.

'can I cum in you baby?'he questions picking up his pace. 'yes daddy please' you scream feeling the cord in you snap.

vision going white you come to, hearing Dominic talk.

opening up your eyes you see the camera in his hands.

'we gotta film the next one baby'

[mcromwell]

Four years ago, I installed TikTok and began making art videos to promote my art business. I steadily got better at making videos, had a few big hits, grew my follower count to 75k (my largest on any social platform ever, to this day) and even qualified for the app's creator program, which netted me a fair chunk of change for a few months. Right when I started considering it an integral part of my business, engagement started tanking. Despite my follower count and trying to keep up with trends and editing techniques designed to retain viewers, my videos went from getting about 10k views to less than a thousand--that's not even 10% of my follower-count. The app slowly stopped recommending my videos to anyone, followers or on the FYP. For months. And then after TikTok was voted to be banned in the US, it got even worse, and the CEO even stated in his video addressing the ban that they would "not be able to pay creators as much due to spending more money on legal fees to challenge the vote". At that time I was grimly reminded of what I already knew about social media sites: they aren't your friend and they don't care about you. They'll give you something "nice" (a chance at monetization and virality) with the hope that you'll keep making content for their content farm, and when your videos don't get views, the gambling mindset of "maybe next video will do well" or "the algorithm is just weird right now, maybe it will improve if I just keep going" will keep you addicted.

I finally hit a wall. I can't waste my time. I have very little time to achieve what I want to due to my health. So making videos that get 300 views and no comments is definitely a waste of my time. I used to say good things about the algorithm, how it shows you niche things instead of only just the popular stuff, but clearly that isn't the case. My videos posted elsewhere get tons more interactions and engagement. I am stepping back from TikTok for a while; I even uninstalled it. The endless scrolling is not good for me, either.

All that to say: art videos will be less frequent. The only places I'd be making them for is Instagram and YouTube, and I think if I'm going to pick one to focus on, it'll be Youtube. Subscribe to my channel here, where I am slowly uploading my entire TikTok catalogue of hundreds of art videos.

TikTok did great things for me when it worked. It was really exciting for me to hear folks at in-person events say stuff like, "Oh, I saw a video of this painting!" "Your process is so fun to watch!" I won't forget the support everyone gave me. Thank you.

I hope to use this extra time to focus on my practice more. I want to lean into sketchbook bundle downloads, Patreon, and just simply drawing more! Exploring more! We'll all benefit from that. So here's to newer, healthier directions.

💖 M

[mr2swap]

Exchange Gift: The Magic Coin

I got into the hot car and with a small jump I left my butt in the passenger seat, I took the wet towel with the sweat of my "older brother", I wiped the sweat from my armpits, the smell of the towel permeated the entire car, but we are used even to each other's sweat.

Immediately, I noticed the smile of my "older brother" who was next to me, impatient to compare the size of our biceps, he flexed his colossal arm in front of me just to show off the size of the triceps that were originally mine.

-WOW! I can't believe how fast those arms have grown! All my friends are going to be so jealous when I go back to school in January! -

I'm glad to know that my brother was enjoying my "gift" but I was even more glad that it didn't cost me a single penny, like every year my family exchanged Christmas gifts.

And The One this year was Kevin, My annoying little brother, Normally I would have bought him something like a video game or something I could play with, but this year I had spent too much money on my ex-girlfriend, That bitch squeezed every penny out of me until my wallet was totally empty. And all for what in the end I will find her in the bed of a campus idiot…

Whatever. I was broke, depressed, AND still owed my chubby 15-year-old brother his little Christmas present. When I was at the mall looking for some gift no bigger than $5 I came across a Shiny coin lying on the floor I probably couldn't buy my brother a video game this year, but I was sure he would love this coin, he's a total nerd, and he loves to collect these kinds of things for his Dungeons and Dragons game.

I wanted to give him his gift a couple of days before Christmas, and privately I didn't want my family to be mad at me for breaking the rule with the price of the gift, and when I gave it to him, he didn't seem too happy with his new coin his disappointment was very noticeable on his face. So I promised him that I would take him to the gym with me to help him with those extra kilos so that he would stop being teased at school for being overweight.

As soon as I told him that, his expression totally changed, we didn't use to spend a lot of time together and when he came home from the gym at the university he always begged for some attention from his older brother. Well, now we are inseparable.

The moment I handed him the coin, our hands touched. A strange sensation from the coin ran through our bodies. I couldn't move or take my hands off the coin, no matter how hard I tried, my muscular arms didn't react. Nor the rest of my body for what seemed to me 5 long minutes.

Without warning the strange sensation disappeared and me and my brother were pushed backwards, the strange coin fell to the floor making a metallic sound.

As soon as I opened my eyes I knew something was wrong with me, my body was totally different, my muscles were gone and instead of my fantastic six-pack I now had a little slice, my tanned skin from afternoon jogging in the sun was replaced by pale smooth skin, my long hairy legs were now short and hairless.

Before I panicked, I looked up and was speechless. In front of me was a giant flexing his huge arms, tensing his muscles trying to imitate the positions that I usually do in front of the mirror for my Instagram photos.

-Is that… my body?-

The words escaped from my mouth and caught the attention of the person occupying my body, he took me by the arms and got up as if I were a baby.

-THANK YOU VERY MUCH, BRO! THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER, THIS IS FUCKING GREAT! LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT YOU! I AM YOU!-

He was playing with me like I was a doll, he abused his new strength, and he flipped me in the air. From this new perspective the ground looked really far from my new position, I was terrified. And although a couple of Tears came out of my eyes as I tried to escape from his strong hands, He didn't stop until the fear escaped me in the form of urine.

I had pissed in my pants, by the time my brother noticed I got down slowly, and I ran away from him as fast as my little legs could, I ran to the bathroom to release the rest of the urine that was fighting to escape from my little developing penis.

-Hey… I think, I got too excited…- His voice I recorded filtered through the wooden door while the sound of my urine in the toilet sounded at the same time, when I finished peeing I looked at the huge urine stain that was on my shorts, There were even some drops on my T-shirt

I undressed, stepped into the shower and let the hot shower wash away the mess in my crotch, The soothing sound of hot water and the sound of her apologies merged into a loud song, for a minute I had forgotten that I was in the body of my little brother.

Furthermore, I took the soap to deep clean my brother's body and I could tell the difference between his body and mine, for me. It was so strange to see myself and that none of my muscles were defined in my skin, I flexed one of my arms and all I got was to see the small hanging fish that my brother's classmates made fun of so much.

When I got out of the shower I took my towel instead of the towel with Spider-Man cartoon patterns and completely dried my brother's body, when I finished I rolled it around my belly to hide my new fishnet and left the bathroom.

My brother was still by the door, but the Emotion on his face had faded, -I... I'm sorry, I didn't want to... - He didn't finish his sentence, he seemed to have understood that he had hurt me, he just extended his arm and showed the coin He gently took my arm and slowly put it in my hand.

The exchange was reversed immediately, this time much faster than the previous time, and before I realized it I was no longer wearing a towel but a tank top and tight shorts.

Thank God, this was a back and forth exchange. I was relieved to be back in my body, but this little experience changed me completely. Since then me and my brother have been swapping bodies throughout our vacations, I think I've been spending more time in his body than mine, meh it's not like I have anything better to do.

I even kept my promise to take him to the gym, I let my brother use my body to work out, so he would have more self-confidence and succeed, maybe I did too well, He doesn't hesitate to flex his muscles in front of any stranger's face to stare at him for more than 5 minutes, he is still too innocent to know that all they want is to take him to bed.

But no one would ever try anything on him “intimidating gym bouncer”, and while he has fun impressing a bunch of perverted fagots, I would see to it that my brother will never feel the way he made me feel again even if I had to ”personally”

Hey folks! if you like bodyswap stories take a look at my patreon, I have a lot of more stories, and you can help me keep creating more stories!

[featherandferns]

fascinating new thing : where are they now?

jj maybank x shy!kook!reader | see these inbox messages for points of inspiration: 1 2 3

word count: 2k.

read fascinating new thing | Thank you so so much for 1000 followers!!! Since starting this blog in May of 2023, I have written so many characters and storylines. I get so many lovely anon messages telling me about their favourite universes and wondering what happens next after my fics have ended. So, I thought to celebrate 1000 followers, I’d indulge. Here’s the (current) where are they now for all of my fics so far…

It’s times like these - standing on an obnoxiously over-sized stage, staring out at more people than you can count who have been screaming your name and your lyrics for the past two hours - when your life feels particularly surreal. You wonder if you’ll ever get used to the feeling of hearing your songs on the radio, or seeing someone break down in tears in the front row of your gig, or scrolling through Twitter and Instagram to find fan-edits galore. Maybe it would be the same as the anxiety, which shrunk just the smallest amount with every show.

Despite your crippling social skills, you never feared the stage. It was the only place where you felt truly comfortable in yourself. You were sure that it helped having Pansy by your side, even now. Whenever you feel yourself slipping away, you’d grapple at the microphone with one hand as if it were a buoy and you were floating helplessly in the middle of the sea, and then you’d look to Pansy. Her wildness from youth hasn't disappeared despite the years and fame. She grins at you just the same as always. Celebrates every concert and every milestone with the same fever that she did when you first played at the Wreck. 

As you neared your twenty-second birthday, you had three official albums released into the world. The latest had made the Billboard charts. Whilst the lyrics flourished, and the production improved, and the vocality developed, one thing stayed the same: JJ was almost always at the forefront of your mind. 

The fans were almost as obsessed with JJ as you. You were gobsmacked the first time you saw some ‘stalker pics’ of the two of you on a date. Whenever he’d make it to one of your shows (which he always tried to do), the fans would have eagle vision and try to spot him. Gauge his reactions and document his pride. And, boy, was he proud. He showed you off like a diamond ring; boasted about you at work and at the surf break. Brought you up in any and all conversations (at least according to the Pogues). One video in particular went viral. Some paparazzi guy had caught him in the street when he was running errands in Kildare. It still felt bizarre to have paparazzi chasing you and your loved ones down. They asked him what he thought of the songs on your latest album. In the video, JJ pushed his sunglasses up onto his head, smirking. They’re all about me, man: what’s not to like about it.  

After seeing the overwhelming positive reaction to you and your boyfriend, you’d started to acknowledge him openly at shows. It wasn’t that you hadn’t taken notice of him before. He was always there - calming you down before and grounding you after - and you always sought him out. Couldn’t settle until you knew where he was. But now, instead of a fleeting glance and a shy smile, you would point him out. Slyly giving a nod to him when announcing the next song: this one’s about a certain someone - you know who you are. The fans ate it up but more importantly, JJ loved it. 

And whilst having thousands of random strangers screaming your songs at you was an insurmountable feeling that you couldn’t ever place into words, it would never top the experience of singing your songs to JJ. He heard them first. Every single one. 

“Come on then,” JJ says, flopping beside you on the sofa. Despite all the money you’d garnered, the two of you stayed in the Cut on Kildare. You always preferred it over Figure Eight. “Let’s hear it.”

“It’s not done yet,” you tell him as you tune your acoustic guitar. 

JJ stuffs another one of your home baked cookies into his mouth with a roll of his eyes. “Like I’d care.”

You smile bashfully at that. You sometimes wondered if JJ was as happy for you as he seemed to be. The fame and money and attention on you hadn’t changed you - at least you didn’t think it had - but it had changed the world around you. That was out of your control. What people said about you, about him, about your relationship and your life together - you didn’t have any control over that. Your schedule became busy with studio sessions and meetings and practice and touring. Hell, there were already musings of doing a tour in Europe next year. You imagined it to be a lot for JJ; would be enough to build resentment in Mother Teresa. But he begged to hear your songs. Tagged along to rehearsals and snuck into the studio. Made it to as many concerts as his job allowed. 

Besides, it wasn’t like JJ was without fame. Himself and the Pogues had found El Do-freaking-rado whilst you and The Wallflowers had been gaining traction. Now he had his dream surf shop which kept him occupied. The financial stability that your combined enterprises allowed meant life was easy to enjoy. And enjoy it, you did. 

You take a tentative strum of the guitar strings, clearing your throat and mind. Glancing down to watch your fingers take placement for the first chord, you begin to play the melody. You could feel JJ’s gaze on you, steady and unwavering, and despite your long-standing relationship, it still made you feel as giddy as the first night at The Wreck. 

“We could leave the Christmas lights up ‘til January…”

You begin to sing. Hesitant at first (as if you’d never played for him before), then confident as the song went on. The lyrics which were still in the scaffolding stages were replaced with half-formed words in melodic hums. You could see JJ’s foot tapping along to the beat in your peripheral vision and it made you smile, serene and sweet, safe in the bubble the two of you had created in the two bedroomed house by the marsh. 

“Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? Forever and ever. Take me out and take me home.”

Looking up at him, you find his smile mirrors yours. The emotion in his eyes is saved only for you. You get his wildness, his mood swings, his recklessness, his devotion and his love. You get all of him. 

“You’re my, my, my, my…Lover.”

JJ chuckles at that, clearly flustered. Again, after all these years, you can’t believe you of all people have that effect on him. You continue the song, giggling as you trip over a chord, lost in his gaze, heart thrumming happily. He plays into some lyrics, twisting the amorous moment into the most magical of lights. 

“You’ll save all your dirtiest jokes me for me.” 

JJ smiles proudly, crossing his heart as if making a promise. You manage the next line out through your laughter. 

“And at every table, I’ll save you a seat. Lover…”

You conclude the song with a final, definitive strum. JJ erupts into applause, whooping and hollering like he was at a Red Sox game or something. You laugh, bashful, and unhook your guitar from around you. 

“Best damn song you’ve ever written!”

“You say that about all the songs,” you reply, brushing off his compliment. Yes, it seems JJ’s so-called lifelong venture of getting you to accept a compliment was still underway. 

“That going on the new album?” JJ asks. He leans forward to the coffee table, passing your half-full glass of wine to you. 

You nod. “We’re working on the track-list now, actually.”

“You gonna sneak that song in there about Kiara and Pansy?”

“I think Pansy would kill me if I didn’t,” you reply back, making JJ laugh. He nods, making a face of ‘yeah, you’re probably right there’ and sips his beer.

Pansy and Kie hooking up didn’t catch anyone by surprise. It was sweet seeing them so loved up. So, you broke your tradition of writing songs purely about JJ for her. In fact, you’d been branching out more and more, writing about other people and other things. Mike and his now ex-girlfriend, and the world’s messiest break-up, were the basis to one of your best selling tracks: We Are Never Getting Back Together. The sudden rise to fame and all the prying eyes and ears that came with it was inspiration to another from the same album: Nothing New. And now Kie and Pansy, with It’s Nice to Have a Friend.  

Carefully leaning your guitar against the sofa, you place your wine down and shuffle to cuddle into JJ’s hold. His fingers leisurely stroke your hairline, teasing at your hair. No matter the money, he wore the same cologne. He’d tried fancier but after you admitted that it didn’t smell like him somehow, he went back to the old, cheap stuff. 

“I’m real proud of you, y’know?” 

“I know,” you mumble, smiling into his t-shirt. 

“And I’m always gonna be here for you, right? Through the good and the bad?”

“Yeah, I know,” you reply, a little worried as to where this was coming from. 

JJ takes in a breath. It sounds almost anxious and tense. Then, he’s shuffling around, digging for something in his back pocket, and you’re left with no choice but to move off him. Sitting back on your haunches, you watch him with furrowed brows. They knit tighter when he lowers himself onto the wooden floorboards. And then all of a sudden, in the cosy, lamp-lit living room of your shared home, you watch the literal man of your childhood dreams reveal a black velvet box. 

He swallows thickly. His fingers shake as he struggles to open the box. Looking up at you, anxiety swimming in his eyes (which were the inspiration to countless songs), JJ gives a mousy smile. He breathes out your name like reading an ancient, honourable scripture. Tears brim your eyes. A hand lifts to your gaping mouth. 

“I have been in love with you from the minute I saw you singing at The Wreck, back when we were sixteen. For whatever God damn reason, you gave me - a broke-ass idiot from the Cut with about two-dollars to my name and a pretty bad reputation - a chance. And you changed my life forever. Honestly, I don’t know what my life would feel like without you. I hope I never do, really, cause you’re everything I’ve ever wanted.  I mean, when you find a girl who writes songs about you, you kinda have to stick around, right?” 

You give a soggy laugh, sniffling and barely nodding. 

JJ grins, chuckling through his nerves. 

“So, I guess…Will you marry me?”

Tongue-tied like always, you struggle to find the words. No, not words. One word. One very important word. So, you nod frantically. And finally, it comes. 

“Yes,” you choke. “Yes! Yes!”

You’re worried you sound a little pushy, tentatively tagging on, “please.”

JJ barks out a laugh. He wipes at his eyes, mumbling about how he wasn’t going to be a sap, and takes the ring from its cushion. You hold out a quivering hand and let him slot it on. 

“Sorry. ‘M kinda clammy,” you mumble. 

JJ sniffs and laughs and nods. “S’fine, baby.”

You admire the ring in all its glory. Despite his El-Dorado success, the ring isn’t over the top. It’s exactly what you dreamed it to be. Beautiful in its simplicity. Understated and classy. You launch yourself at JJ. He catches you with a laugh, somehow keeping his balance, and embraces you like you might float away. God, you feel like you could. Everything in life is so perfect. Your band, your fame, your talent and your partner: it’s just perfect. 

Pressing your lips to his, you can't keep the joyful tears from falling. JJ cradles your face when you break apart, staring deeply into your eyes in a way that would have fifteen-year-old you crippled and crying on the floor. 

“I’ll marry you, JJ Maybank.”

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Ask Me Again Tomorrow

Pairing: Rockstar!Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~3.1k

Warnings: angst, forgetting an anniversary, feeling like he found someone better than you, fluff at the end

Request by anon: Hey can i request a rockstar Dean where the reader is her girlfriend and he miss them anniversary for some reason and never called the reader to tell her and she go mad and stop talking to him? Happy ending

Summary: Dean is a world-famous musician/singer who is currently on tour. Your five-year anniversary is coming up on a day that he is scheduled to do a show in Japan. What happens when he forgets to call you on this most special day?

Square Filled: celebrity for @spnonewordbingo (deleted bingo)

Author’s Note: i appreciate any and all comments! <3

x

The concert isn’t for another hour but there are already so many fans in the stands and on the floor. One of your favorite things about being in a relationship with a famous musician/singer is to meet their fans. Everyone knows you and Dean Winchester are in a relationship since you’re all he talks about whenever he goes for interviews. They’ve seen plenty of videos of you two together, and both your Instagrams are filled with each other. Your lives are private but you love to share him on all of your social media. You’ve gained a lot of followers since announcing your relationship but you don’t mind.

None of the fans are expecting you to show up even though they’re secretly hoping you do. Not every seat on the floor is filled but a lot of them are. Fans from all over the country grab their seats and mingle with each other, gossiping about the latest news about you and Dean. One girl from a small group sees you and visibly freaks so now everyone is looking her way. Once they see you, they get so excited to meet the elusive Y/N.

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you guys!” you grin and give hugs to those who want them.

“Can I take a picture with you?” someone asks.

You pose with as many fans as you can, making friends and complimenting everyone on their outfits.

“I love your dress! You look so cute in it!” you gush to a fan.

“Oh, my God. Thank you! You look amazing!” she grins. “Would it be too much to ask if you can sign this?”

“Me? You want my signature?”

“Of course! You’re amazing!”

“Okay,” you smile and sign whatever she has for you.

You’re not used to people asking for pictures and signatures since you’re not the famous one, but it’s nice to be recognized. You’re with Dean all the time so all of his fans know who you are. Where he’s the breadwinner, you’re the stay-at-home girlfriend who takes care of the plants and pets. You don’t like working so this is a good setup for you two. You two talked over how this was going to work and both came to the compromise that he would make the money. It’s not like he minded. He loves touring, interviews, and making music with his band. Plus, with no job to hold you down, you get to go with him to different countries and see his shows.

Once you’re done on the floor, you head backstage where your boyfriend is. He’s sitting down on the couch tuning his guitar. The opening act is just about to go on stage so he has some time before he needs to go on stage.

“I found her!”

Dean looks up when he hears his brother from across the room.

“There’s my girl,” Dean smiles and puts his guitar down. “I wonder where you went off to.”

“You have the nicest fans,” you grin and sit next to him.

“They’re all women. Of course, they’re nice.”

Dean wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side.

“I don’t know, I know some women are monsters.” Dean only smiles at your comment and kisses you slowly. God, it feels so good to kiss him. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, Winchester.”

“You know me. Give me ten minutes and I’m golden.” He pulls away from you with a sly grin. “Are you staying for the whole show?”

“Of course.”

You two relax on the couch as he tunes his guitar. As soon as the opening act is finished, it’s Dean’s turn to get ready for the stage. He and his band make their way under the stage so they can be lifted up onto it. You walk back onto the floor and over to the VIP section where some other celebrities have come to see his show. It’s also amazing to be friends with actual celebrities. You never thought you’d get the chance t be friends with so many of them.

As soon as Dean and his band are lifted onto the stage, the crowd goes wild. Dean is so happy on stage playing his music for people who make what he does possible. The smile on his face says it all, and you scream along with the fans. The entire concert is about two hours including the opening act which is more than enough time for Dean to get through many of his new songs including a few older hits that are played on the radio. He also plays his version of “Simple Man” as an acoustic set which the fans adore.

When the concert is over, you make your way backstage where Dean is celebrating with his brother, his band, and his manager for yet another successful show. Dean sees you enter the room and his eyes light up. He runs over to you, picks you up, and spins you around.

“I’m so proud of you, baby!”

He sets you down and kisses you quickly.

“Let’s go back to the trailer.”

“You have things to do after every show.”

“Not tonight.” He turns to Sam who only nods. He already knows what he is going to ask. “Thanks, Sammy!”

Dean whisks you back to his trailer which is empty. He has his own that he shares with Sammy while there is another one for the rest of the band. It’s a plan they all came up with since you’re usually with Dean and they really don’t want to hear you two on the road. You two stay in for the rest of the night as Dean shows you just how good it feels to be with someone who is good with his hands.

In the morning, you’re the first one up. The curtains next to his bed don’t cover the entire window so the sunlight on your eyes is what woke you up. You turn to face Dean who is still naked from last night’s activities. His cheeks are naturally rosy, his freckles dance across his face, it seems like his long lashes are touching the top of his cheekbones, and his mouth is slightly parted where soft snores come out. You could stay like this forever but you know you have to get back home.

You’re so much in your own head that you don’t see Dean open his eyes to show you his bright green irises. It’s still early so there is no one asking Dean to do things or needing him. It’s just you and Dean and that’s all you ever want. Dean raises his hand to push back the hair that has fallen in front of your eyes, and you grab his hand to run your finger over his calluses. He’s gotten a lot of them from playing guitar but you don’t mind. You like the roughness of his hands against your soft skin.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks in his morning voice.

“How much I love you. How much I wish we could stay like this.”

You lean up and kiss him, not caring that you both have morning breath.

“But?” he chuckles.

“You know me so well,” you smile. “But I can’t stay. I have to get home. Molly and Amber must be missing me so much.”

“Yeah, I know. I can’t keep you all to myself. I’ll be thinking of you, though.”

“Same here. Don’t forget, our anniversary is in a month.”

It’s marked for a day that is the same day as one of his shows in Japan but you have that weekend to do whatever you want together.

“I have it marked in my calendar. I won’t forget.”

Your small bubble of paradise has to end sometime, and when it does, you pack up your things to head back home to Austin, Texas. The flight is long but you’re kind of glad to be back home. Your big protective dogs, Amber and Molly, are happy to see you once you’ve picked them up from your best friend’s house. She is eager to hear stories from your travels so you stay at her house for a couple of hours.

“How was his concerts?” she grins and gives you some coffee.

“Really good. I’ve met so many fans and hung out with so many celebrities. It was insane! I even met Ryan Reynolds and his wife. They were so nice.”

“You bitch. Take me next time,” she jokes, and you both laugh.

“I wish I could be with him every day but I have girlfriend-household duties to take care of. For instance, these two,” you grin and pet both your dogs.

“Your anniversary is coming up, right? Any big plans?” Winona asks.

“I’m planning on flying out to Japan to surprise him the weekend after the date. He’s going to be in concert on the actual date. I’m taking him to a Japanese restaurant we’ve both been wanting to try. He doesn’t know I’m doing this.”

“That’s so exciting! Think he’s gonna do it this year?”

“I don’t know. I hope so. It’s been five years. I know he wants to do it but he might not since he’s in the middle of a tour.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. He might surprise you,” she winks.

The house is a bit lonely without Dean there but you make do for the three weeks. Amber and Molly are certainly glad to be back in their home with you, and you keep the house looking clean and better than ever. You’ll bring the dogs back to Winona when you leave for Japan next week even though you want to bring them with you.

You wake up on the day of your anniversary with a smile on your face. Today marks five years you’ve been with Dean and you’re so excited to spend another year with him. He is two hours ahead of you so when you wake up at eight, you’re shocked you don’t see a message from him. Every time you have a birthday, he’s always messaging you at midnight so he can be the first one to celebrate with you. He’s done the same thing for anniversaries but you don’t have a message this time. He probably spent last night partying with his bandmates so you’re not too concerned about it.

You get up, make breakfast, enjoy it in the sunroom, and do the dishes afterward. It’s a good day to spend outside in the garden or to relax by the pool so you change into your swimsuit and throw a light sundress over it. The day is spent in the sun and tending to the garden with beautiful vegetables growing. You might pick what you can make a hearty dinner later.

However, as the day goes on without a message or call from Dean, you grow worried. He didn’t forget, did he? You debate on calling him or not to see if he’s okay. No, if he forgot then that’s on him. The day turns to night, and you’re scrolling through TikTok for lives from his concert. He seems so happy on stage without a care in the world. Yeah, he forgot about you. Even well after the concert, he still doesn’t text or call you.

You go to bed with tears stains on your cheeks and a heavy heart.

You wake up the next morning and remember why you feel so shitty. Dean never called or texted. He forgot about you. You’re not upset that he forgot to tell you “Happy Anniversary”. It’s the fact that he could forget you. He’s out in different countries with his bandmates and brother, meeting girls in bars and fans on the floor while you’re back at home taking care of the dogs. You’re not with him while he’s out living this fabulous life. You’re pissed that there is a possibility he found someone better than you. You’re pissed at the possibility that he doesn’t love you anymore.

Your last relationship ended horribly and stuck with you even years into your relationship with Dean. He knows your fear of abandonment and he still didn’t call you.

You decide to head over to Winona’s house and hang with her instead of letting the silence sink into your skin. She is more than happy to have you over, and there is already a pot of coffee going when you arrive. She has a bottle of Baileys on the counter that she’ll add to make the coffees more spicy.

You sit at her kitchen island and put your phone on the tabletop. Just as you let go, Dean’s name pops on the screen. You quickly deny the call because you don’t want to hear his voice right now. Winona sees you deny the call and decides to add a bit of extra Bailey’s to your cup.

“Wanna talk about it?” she asks.

“He forgot our anniversary. He didn’t call or text me. I don’t even want to go to Japan anymore.”

“Are you sure that’s all that’s bothering you?”

“I don’t care that he forgot. I’ve forgotten some pretty important dates. I’m scared he’s gonna leave me for someone else. He’s out there partying with girls from all over the world.”

“Y/N, that man loves you. So he forgot. Big deal.”

She won’t get it. She doesn’t know the details of your three-year relationship with your ex-boyfriend.

Dean calls you again and this time, you turn your phone off without answering him. Winona is a good friend and she helps you through a lot, but this is something you have to deal with on your own. She won’t understand how you’re feeling because she’s never had her heart broken. She never stays with someone long enough to get her heart broken, and she’s the one who breaks it off. She has flings, which is completely fine, but it doesn’t warrant advice about something she doesn’t know.

You keep your phone off for the rest of the day until you’re about to go to bed. You turn it on to see there are fifty missed calls, over a hundred missed texts, and twenty voicemails. All from Dean. You don’t check the messages or the voicemails but instead, call Sam. He picks up on the first ring and explodes in a panic.

“What the fuck, Y/N! Why haven’t you been answering the phone?”

“Is that Y/N? Let me talk to her,” you hear Dean in the background.

“Don’t put him on. I don’t want to talk to him.”

“Listen, Dean is freaking the fuck out. He’s threatening not to do the show until you call him back.”

“Well, that’s not gonna happen. Look, something came up and I won’t be able to make it to Japan.”

“What the hell happened between you two? He has no clue what’s going on.”

That breaks your heart a bit. If he doesn't know then you’re not going to be the one to tell him.

“Nothing. Tell Dean he’s being a fucking idiot and to do the damm show.”

You hang up on Sam and turn your phone off again. You won’t want to hear from either of them, not for a couple of days at least. Dean can party with his friends and fuck all the women he wants to over there. The next couple of days are like this. You only have your phone on when you wake up and go to sleep because you know Dean will try non-stop to call you. You’d rather get cut off from the rest of the world than take Dean’s calls.

Those few days are spent with Winona since being in that big house by yourself isn’t ideal. Everything reminds you of Dean and the memories of being happy. She allowed you to sleep in her guestroom even though you two stayed in her bedroom like you were kids again having a sleepover.

Eventually, you had to get home so you begrudgingly walk up the front porch steps. You unlock the door and step inside. There on the floor are dozens of rose petals all leading to the back bedroom you share with Dean. On both sides of the petals is a line of fake candles to show the path you need to take.

You walk carefully to the bedroom to see a dozen more fake candles and much more rose petals. Standing in the middle of the room wearing his best suit is Dean. He turns to face you with a single rose in his hands.

“What are you doing here?” you gasp and step inside the bedroom. “You’re supposed to be in Japan. You’re supposed to be in concert right now.”

“I am so sorry for forgetting our anniversary.” You look at the ground as the feelings you have come rushing to the surface. “I love you so much. There is no excuse I can give you as to why I didn’t call you that night.”

Before you can say anything, Dean kneels to the ground on one knee. He reaches into his jacket pocket and takes out a small velvet box big enough to fit a ring. He opens his mouth to say something but you hold your hands out to stop him.

“Wait, Dean, are you proposing because you’re sorry or because you want to?” He doesn’t say anything to that which tells you it’s the former. You chuckle and kneel down in front of him so you’re the same height. “Baby, the reason why I was so upset wasn’t because you forgot. We all forget. I was scared you found someone else while you were off being a famous rockstar. I was here and you were there and I thought you forgot because you didn’t love me anymore. I was pissed at you for that.”

Dean sets the rose and ring down to grab your hands.

“Sweetheart, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wouldn’t be me without you. No one can ever replace you.”

“Are you sure?” you whisper.

“I wouldn’t cancel a show for just anyone,” Dean laughs.

“You canceled a show for me? What about your fans?”

“My fans wouldn’t be my fans without you by my side. You’re the one who pushed me into playing. I owe everything to you.” You lean in and kiss him on his full lips, enjoying that you can do this after so long of being apart. He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. “So, that’s a no on the proposal?”

“Ask me again tomorrow,” you whisper and kiss him again.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[sunnyie-eve]

10 | Surprise

Series: Unexpected

Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

~

Recently Dani decided she wanted to stay in LA because she thought back to her and Matt talking in the elevator about how she prefers LA over Vegas.

Getting to the house Dani sees that Hallie wasn't home at the moment so she just heads inside going to her room. It was still the way she last left it when she was there.

Dani falls back on her bed pulling out her phone to let Colby know she made it safely before getting on Instagram. After about ten minutes of just scrolling she gets a message from Matt, causing her to laugh as she goes to answer it.

Matt: What you doing?

Dani: Nothing, lay down scrolling through here. I just got to my place here in LA.

Matt: You're here in LA?

Dani: That's what I just said.

Matt: Give me the address so I can pick you up. We can surprise Nick and Chris.

Dani gives him the address then a little later while she was still in her phone laying in her bed the door bell rang.

"I didn't expect you to show up after sending you the address so quickly. I thought maybe in a few hours or so." She laughs opening up the door. "Well, I'm not coming back if I leave now. So get your stuff and lets go." He tells her with a smile. "I'll be in the car waiting." He walks back to his car while she goes to get her stuff then joins him in his care.

"I'm here with Dani and eating a slice of pizza." Matt films in the car with just Dani in the passenger seat for a surprise video, "I feel like Nick is gonna lose his mind when he find out."

"Yeah, I didn't tell him I was here yet." She laughs, "And you just happen to message me, what was I doing."

"I saw you were active on Instagram so I thought to drop in."

"Aww," She finds that sweet, "That's nice."

"You're welcome,"

"What?" She laughs at how he was looking at her, "You want me to tank you or something?" She watches him go back to eating his slice of pizza, "Thanks but you're killing me just eating that slice of pizza. Like it's making me hungry." She makes him laugh, "I drive four hours, get to my place then you pick me up. I don't get to relax. I didn't even get to unpack my bag." She laughs as he stares at her, "I'm exhausted and hungry." She watches him go for another bite, "And you're just teasing me with that slice as you eat slowly!"

"Wanna bite?" He asks as he laughs.

"A bite?"

He laughs more, "Do you want me to take you somewhere to eat before we go to the house or?" He asks her.

"Are you paying for me?" She looks at the camera then over at him.

"I'll pay for you. I'll be a good friend." He agrees to paying so she looks right at the camera with a look.

"A good friend would let me relax at home."

"Do you want food?" He asks her and she tells him yes, "Then shut up." He makes her laugh.

Matt ends up taking Dani to a Sonic since that's what she wanted, "Are you happy now that you have your food?" He asks and she doesn't respond since she was eating, "I'll take that as a yes." He pulls out his phone to answer Chris texting about where is he.

"Thank you, you're the best." She tells him before eating her fries.

"That didn't sound like you meant it, you know." He gives her a look.

"But I did." Her tone gets soft.

"Oh..." He looks away for a second, "Now I feel bad."

"Don't feel bad. Here have some fries." She passes him some, "If you want more just tell me. Okay?" She looks at him, "I'll share with you. Because you used your money on me when you didn't have to."

"I know I didn't have to but I wanted to." He smiles as she eats her burger, "Can I have a bite of that?"

"Umm, just the fries and tots." She makes him laugh, "This is too good to share. I was starving dude. Seriously thank you for this." She says really meaning it.

"It's the least I could do. As you said you just got here. What? Not even 35 minutes ago?" He tells her.

"Yep, and I get the pleasure of you first. My friend wasn't even home to see me arrive. So you literally are the first person." She let shim know.

"Don't act like you don't like being around me, Dani. You know you do." He says making her giggle uncontrollable.

"Oh my god. Do I really?" She laughs at him.

"Yeah, you can't fool me not even a little bit Tater-Tot." He looks at her.

Once she was finished eating they head to the triplet's house and talk about how there were going to surprise the other two. Walking inside Dani waits down by the door off to the side as he heads up.

"You didn't bring anything home to eat?" Chris says sitting on the cough watching tv. "Are you vlogging right now?" He looks over at Matt filming him.

"Yes, can you hold this for me?"

Chris gets up taking the camera from him and films Matt now, who was moving around a lot with a smile on his face, "Are you okay?" Chris ask as Matt now jumps up and down excited for the surprise.

"I have a surprise." He smile, "I mean it's mostly for Nick but kinda for you too because I know you will react happily too." He says taking the camera from him to film him.

"I have no idea what the surprise could be." Chris feels odd in the spot light, "Mostly for Nick? So..." He had no idea what it could be so Dani comes up.

"That surprise would be me." She says with a big smile.

"No fucking way." Chris backs away shocked.

"Yes way." She giggles as he walks over to give her a hug, "What? Didn't expect to see me here a week later?"

"Hell no. Nick isn't going to know how to act seeing you here in our house." Chris laughs before he and Matt go upstairs to blindfold Nick to bring him now to Dani as she waits.

"What's the surprise?" Nick asks as Chris helps him down the stairs, "You said no new tattoos this time."

"Come on, come on." Chris says excited to see his reaction.

"Chris slow down. I can't see shit dude." Nick says causing Dani to cover he mouth to keep herself quiet.

"Can you try making a guess?" Matt asks him as he shows Dani turning to face where Nick stood with a huge smile across her face.

"Did you add something new to the kitchen? Or the living room because we're down here. If it was anything else you would've brought it to my room."

"Take it off." Mat says and Dani smiles giggling a bit seeing the complete shock in Nick's face.

"Dani! Okay, what a wild surprise." He laughs, "It feels so weird seeing you here. Like you're in our house."

Dani laughs nodding her head in agreement, "I'm sure it does." Chris takes the camera while Matt walks over to show Nick the messages he and Dani shared to get her to come over, "When he picked me up I hadn't even been home for like 30 minutes."

"What made you randomly message her?" Nick asks as Matt was done showing the messages.

"He said he saw I was active on Instagram so he wanted to ask me what was I doing." Dani answers for him.

"I was bored on Instagram too so why not?" 

[leajdh]

Gold rush

Chapter four: Ayo, fuck this. Are we dating? Are we fucking? Are we best friends? Are we something in between that? I wish we never fucked, and I mean that. But not really..

He was just a few more steps away from becoming a living legend. Already praised by the media as the honored one, he made a grave mistake which not only put his Ice Hockey career on hold, it disappointed even his most loyal fans so much so that his reputation sank to an all-time low.

Then he meets you; a retired figure skating champion who is now trying to find her purpose in life after her triumphs, all while still being loved and cherished by the media and public likewise.

Satoru Gojo sees his chance to not only get back unto the rink, but also to regain his former popularity.

But he soon realizes it will be a lot harder to get on your good side, because he's everything you despise combined into one person.

Will you give him a second chance and allow him to redeem himself, or is this going to be the match for your life time?

Gojo Satoru x reader (first person narrator)

Ice Hockey AU

FAKE DATING TROPE

Enemies to lovers

English isn't my first language, so expect some grammar errors

18+!!

LINK TO ALL CHAPTERS:

Against all odds, everything is going smoothly. 

It’s only been two days since the picture was posted on my instagram, so I shouldn’t crow too soon, but how can I not when the wildcard Satoru Gojo follows all my rules without any objections?

It’s just too good to be true, but it is true. 

At least for now.

We haven’t really started yet with creating a narrative. So far we just handled everything between each other. I sent him a list of rules that he agreed on and we both signed a contract. Our contract likewise our fake relationship needed an expiration date, so we came up with 21 days after his first game at the Stanley cup. 

With that we make sure that people don’t suspect us from faking the relationship. We also decided the reason why we will break up is the long distance, something like; My life and home is in Idaho and his life and career is in New York City. I know, not romantic at all, but realistic. 

Coming to my rules, they are simple but strict.

Satoru isn’t allowed to post anything without asking me beforehand (exceptions are campaign pictures and videos).

The reason for this rule is simple. I don’t trust Satoru to not post anything stupid that will ruin the narrative I’m going for. With the picture of his head on my thigh, he set a tone for our relationship from which I want to break away. Everything will be family friendly from now on. A lovestory Disney would want to cinematize.

This rule also includes no talking to the media unless his team (which I am part of) approves.

2. Decluttering his social media.

Initially I thought I had to do much more. Suguru told me after the crash Satorus PR-team deleted every party picture or video. It didn’t matter if alcohol was in the frame or not. All this is gone. However, I decluttered even more. Yesterday I started my research on the people Satoru follows. Without mercy I deleted everyone I thought wasn't good for his image to be associated with. The only problematic one I didn’t unfollow is one of his teammates. Toji Fushiguro. 

Apparently a welcome visitor at casinos and race tracks. Bad enough for me already, but the cherry on top are the allegations from older women that, before he became a pro ice hockey player, he used to scam them for money and housing. 

But I looked more into it and I would rather say these old hags did not really get scammed. More so they were his sugar mamas and now they are mad at him for leaving them. Hence there was never a criminal prosecution. 

The biggest problem with Satorus social media are all the girls he follows. 

With a lot of them, he publicly hooked up. All gorgeous women; either models, singers or actresses. I gulped at that and thought on how to handle it. My initial thought was to simply not do anything. Just let them follow each other. I don’t want to come across as the girlfriend who is super jealous and if the media figures out (which they will) that Satoru unfollowed all his former liaisons, it will be a headline and I will be the villain. 

But this issue clashes with another rule.

3. For the entirety of our fake relationship neither him nor me are allowed to engage in any romantic or sexual relationship with another person. Doesn’t matter if it is happening in real-life or just online. Nothing that can cause any fanfare.

Personally I do not think it will be a problem for me but I have less (a lot less) faith in Satoru. He is known for his playboy lifestyle, so I was generally surprised as he agreed so easily to this rule. Even as I wanted to include a paragraph in our contract that I am given the honor to cut his penis of if he cheats. 

Sadly Ichiji told me such a paragraph isn’t legally allowed. 

It would have definitely strengthened my trust. 

Back to rule 2. I therefore just unfollowed some of them. Some had been canceled before for actually serious stuff like internet scams or selling their fans overpriced junk. As soon as I saw a post with CODE: whateverhernameis20 I unfollowed. 

4. I created an excel list with amazing athletes, especially female ice hockey players for him to follow. As an athlete himself, he needs to be more supportive and generally show more interest in what is going on in the sports world. 

On different dates he will follow certain athletes so it doesn’t look suspicious that he randomly decides to follow a ton of them. Everything in nibbles. 

Saving his reputation is a climb not a shortcut. 

5. He attends AA meetings each week. For this rule I was given an annoyed snort from Satoru but he did not say anything after I looked daggers at him. I will drive him there and pick him up, no excuses. 

Five rules but the most important one isn’t for him. It is for myself. 

I need to try to trust him. 

Trusting someone isn’t easy, especially after everything he did to me. But I have to overcome my issues with him to make this work. 

In spite of everything, I want him to be loved by his fans again. I want the best for him.

Only when he succeeds will I be able to make peace with myself and move on. 

Every therapist would shake their head and rip out their hair at this statement but I never learned how to correctly get over things and move on. All I know are challenges and they made me move forward, so I will handle this my way. The way even Suguru thinks would suit me the best. 

Today I am late as I run down the tribune in my boots. Satoru is already training, skating sideways in zigzag lines as Mei Mei screams instructions at him. 

Stumbling down the stairs I notice Suguru, who’s intensely watching the training. With a huff I fall next to him on the bench. “Sorry, I’m late but I couldn’t find the pink stockings off the set. I hope white is fine too”, I breathe as I tie my white skates on. Suguru turns his head to the side and watches me, blinking a few times. 

As for today, we will take the first official photo of Satoru and I together. Essentially confirming our relationship. So far everything is just rumors, neither of us has confirmed anything. With this picture we will officially start the fake dating storyline.

“White’s his favorite color and it suits you, you look really pretty”, his eyes are glued to my face and he smiles. Before I have the chance to turn red, Mei Meis' scream startles me. 

“You’re late!” 

I look at her as she is now turned towards me. Apologetic, I put my hands up and Suguru snickers beside me.

“How did your ears survive her screaming all those years?”, Suguru asks me as I finish tying my skates. I put a hand behind my ear and joke: “What did you say?” 

He laughs lightly again and I am happy about his reaction. 

Standing up I stretch a bit before I go on the ice. Upon hearing no more skates scratching the ice, I look at the rink and see Satoru staring at me, which sends a shiver down my spine. 

Since the day I agreed on being his fake girlfriend I have had a hard time maintaining eye contact with him, hell, even being near him makes me unbelievably nervous. 

Worst of all, I can’t tell why. I should actually be more relaxed around him since we buried our conflict and work together now, but as soon as I feel his freaky blue eyes on me, I feel like a deer in the headlights. 

Suguru softly strokes his index finger over my hip bone. I quickly turn my head towards him.

“Hey, are you alright?”, he asks and looks at me with a frown. His glances never make me nervous. When he looks at me, it feels nice and warm. Meanwhile Satorus peeks make me feel vulnerable like he can see right through me. 

All flaws, all my thoughts, open for him to see and mock. His stare gives me a weird sense of self doubt. 

I shake the thought off. 

“Just feeling a bit fussy”, I sigh: “You know, this is all really weird.” 

“I know”, he grins: “but it will all work out, so no need to worry.” I wish I could be as much of an optimist as Suguru. He gets up too and I notice the significant height difference between us. Even with my skates on he is taller than me. Half a head shorter than Satoru, but Satorus is also freakishly tall. 

“You are going on the ice too?”, I point at  Sugurus' feet which are in skates. 

“Somebody has to take the pictures”, he responds. 

“Right”, I reply with a neutral smile but internally I am pouting and stomping my feet. 

This makes everything even harder. Playing all lovey-dovey with Satoru will be hard enough, but now having Suguru focus on all the details and probably giving pointers. 

I should have stayed in bed. 

We walk down to the rink entry. I throw the blade protectors to the side and step on the ice, gliding over it with ease. I stop next to Satoru, whose entire focus is on me. 

“Good to see you, princess. Looking like there was no pea under your mattress”, he grins and I twist my mouth in confusion. 

“The princess and the pea. Did your dad never read you fairytales?” 

He knows the answer to that, but he still likes to get a rise out of me. 

“I know the fairytale but your comment still makes no sense.”

He skates closer to me and I focus on his nose, so it at least looks like I am looking in his eyes. 

“It’s no fun explaining it.”

“No one is forcing you.”

“Well, maybe there was no pea under your mattress but you definitely stood up with the wrong foot.”

I roll my eyes and skate a bit backwards. 

“It is my way to say that you look well rested.”

“Thank you?”, I frown, unsure what well rested means. A weird compliment? A strange gag? Whatever it is, nothing about us screams boyfriend and girlfriend. 

“And you look well exhausted.”

His hair is flat on his scalp, single pieces of hair glued to his sweaty forehead. He has reddish cheeks and sweat drops travel down his neck to his covered collarbone. He breathes still a bit heavy, the hot air he puffs out turning white due to the temperature. 

I curse myself for finding him incredibly hot at this stage. 

Why does he have to look hot all the time? 

This is unnatural!

“I’ve been here since 7am while you probably had some sweet dream about me”, he grins again, well not again. He is grinning at me the entire time. 

“You mean about your sponsors. Burberry wants inclusive rights for my public outfits, making me an ambassador.”

“No need to thank me.”

“I am not thanking you, I will thank you once Dior comes through. Checked clothes do not really suit me.”

He chuckles: “Quite picky.” 

“Are you really surprised?”

“Not at all.”

I foolishly look in his eyes and feel that shiver again. Turning my head instantly, I gulp and look for Suguru. He’s talking with Mei Mei, both of them stepping on the ice as well. As they glide towards us, I feel strong arms slinging around my shoulders from behind, holding me into place so I do not slither away. Satoru places his sharp chin on my head and exhales. I’m as frozen as the ice under my feet. 

“I know women hate this more than anything, but smile. We are in love or have you forgotten?”

He is right, but how can I smile at him if I can't even look in his eyes. This is going to be a disaster. 

“You’re messing up my hair”, is all I can mutter.

He inhales and I feel his broad chest extend against my back. His body is a living heater in this cold hall. 

Warmth spreads through my entire body, especially in places I should not feel hot for him. 

“Nonsense, you look like an angel”, his chin moves from my head to my shoulder as he leans more forward, his arms still around me. 

“Have I ever told you how much your little skirts turn me on?”

My breath is stuck in my throat, even if I had something on my mind to return, I physically couldn’t.

“Well, have I?”

Why does he have to torture me? I shake my head, still unable to move much less talk. 

He huffs disappointed. “I would prefer if you used your words, but I will teach you another time.”

He instantly lets go of me and I can barely stand on my wobbly legs, only now noticing that he held me really secure. Before he skates past me towards Suguru and Mei Mei, who are only a few feet away now, he pinches my left butt cheek. 

“Now smile, we are in love, don’t forget it”, without giving me a second look, but I know he is grinning like the devil himself. 

I will kill him. 

“Are you ready?”, Mei Mei asks me. With a dry mouth and still in a state of shock I nod. 

I’m the furthest away from being ready. 

After what felt like hours, we still did not manage to take a good picture. We tried different poses, tried to fake spontaneous pictures and even left the rink to take some pictures on the tribune. I cross my arms over my chest and try to remain positive. Just one good picture and I can get away from him. 

Get a grip!

The worst thing is, Satoru is a natural talent. He looks perfect on every photo, while I look- “It looks like you just met a fan!”, Mei Mei tells me: “You know you can look at him, right?” Why does everyone have to torture me? As if this entire situation isn’t awkward and embarrassing enough. 

I sigh loudly and throw my hands up in frustration.  “I’m trying”, I mutter. I can’t even look in his eyes for a second, before turning my face away and becoming a nervous wreck. 

“Then stop with this customer-service-smile!”, Mei Mei spits back. She isn’t known for having patience. 

“I don’t know, each pose seems way too unnatural. I don’t like how the pictures turn out”, even if I had been able to look at Satoru all lovey-dovey, the pictures wouldn’t give me the vibe I want. 

“Usually you aren’t being that difficult”, she adds and I want to strangle her. 

Satoru says nothing, just leaning on the edge of the rink, waiting for instructions. He hasn’t tried anything funny, but his gaze never leaves me and I am too well aware of that. 

I shake the goosebumps off. 

“I just don’t like it…”, I mumble and Mei Meis nose flares. I can tell she is angry with my behavior. 

Before the situation can escalate, Suguru suggests: “How about we try it again tomorrow with a new approach? It has no value to try and force it now, besides Satoru has a massage appointment in thirty minutes.”

I don’t want another try, I want to get this over with, but Suguru is right, as always. Whatever block I have in my mind, it is my problem and I need to fix it. I chew on nothing and act as nonchalant as possible. 

“Okay fine, tomorrow.”, I hum and want to set off, just getting out of the rink and home. But Suguru stops me just as I am about to leave the ice. “Hey, just so you know, you did well. This”, he swirls his index finger in a circle “isn’t easy. It takes time to get used to each other.”

He is so nice. I sometimes hate him for it. 

“But Satoru and you will be a great team, I can feel it”, he cracks a crooked smile at me and I smile back.

“That’s the smile I wanted!”, Mei Mei screams over and I instantly lose it, looking back and forth between her and Suguru, whose smile turns softer. 

“I will see you tomorrow”, I step off the rink and wave good-bye to Mei Mei and ignore Satorus gaze again. 

I’m such a coward. 

With a groan I fall on the couch next to Utahime, who is eating soup and watches TV. She turns down the volume and pats my head. 

“From your reaction I guess it didn’t go well.”

I just groan more into the soft cushion of the couch.

“What happened? Do I need to kill him? You know I would do it.”

Utahime was against this entire fake relationship. She can’t stand Satoru, thinking the same things as me. He’s arrogant, self-centered and reckless. And his good looks do nothing for her. 

I wish I was immune to it too. 

“No, not he is the problem. I am!”, I flip over on my back and look up at her: “I get so uptight and irritable when I am around him. I don’t know how to explain it and it affects the photos.” 

She frowns.

“You know what this sounds like?”, then she gives me a small grin. “Stop, no, it isn’t like that at all.” And it really isn’t. 

The more I think about it, the more it is clear that everything is connected to the first day we met. Hell, we nearly had sex in my car and afterwards we wanted to blackmail each other. Not the best way to start a fake relationship, but I can’t tell her. Nobody knows about any of this and I am just glad no one asked how Satoru even got a picture of his head on my thigh. I’m a good liar but I have no tale for this one.

“So what is it then?” 

“I don’t know”, I sob in my hands. Hime just keeps on patting my hair. 

“You can always quit, right?” 

Another slight fabrication I told her, so she wouldn’t get too concerned. Contractually I’m bound to Satoru until our end date. 

“Yes, but I don’t want to”, I sigh: “I just need to get a grip.” Suguru is right, it takes time to adjust to the entire case. 

I managed tougher challenges. 

I can do it. 

“And rethink this entire photoshoot. It looked like we were high schoolers going to our first prom and my parents forced us to take pictures. Maybe we should just hire paparazzi, who take the first picture of us together on a date or whatever”, I sigh, frustrated with myself. 

She still pats my head and slurps her soup, just allowing me to let my mind figure out something on its own.

“Or maybe we should just let our PR teams make it official and never post a picture. No, that’s not good either”, I grunt some more and sit up. Instead of answering me, Hime just holds a full spoon under my nose, not saying a word. I put it in my mouth and eat. She knows me. I don’t want any advice, I just want to think out loud. 

In the end I know I will find a solution. I always do. 

And if not, I still have Suguru, who seems like the true mastermind of solutions. 

He will get me. 

I can count on him. 

I spend the rest of the day running errands and buying myself a new phone using one of  Satorus cards. 

He insisted on giving me one. Not just to buy a new phone (it was his fault I threw my old one against the wall, obviously), but also for other stuff I want. I told him I don’t want his money, which he didn’t understand. Why else would I have agreed on being his fake girlfriend?

I didn’t have the guts to tell him everything Suguru and I had discussed and my five reasons, so I told him I have my own reasoning and it actually isn’t his business. 

While I said that, I got nervous again and couldn’t look at him, crossing my arms to at least look a bit confident. 

However, as I mentioned before he can see right through me and I swear to God he stared me down without saying a single word, just to make me more nervous until I had no other choice than to grab the card out of his hand and declare defeat by accepting it. 

But this arrangement has nothing to do with money. I’m not buyable. I do this to grow as a person. 

And for a new phone (again, his fault I broke it). 

After that I will put his card away and never touch it again. I do not want to be in his debt in any kind of way. 

It is better if he owes me something, which he does. Just by me agreeing to help him, he is in my debt and I would like to keep it that way. 

If he is on the edge of messing up, I can guilt trip him. If he is even really capable of feeling guilt.

At least towards me. 

I still don’t get him. How he feels towards me is an enigma. 

Does he like me? Ha, good joke. No, why should he? All we did so far was playing with one another. He wants a fake relationship with me because I’m a goody two-shoes in the public eye, not particularly because he likes me. 

Does he hate me? Also no, I would say. I don’t hate him. If I was, I wouldn’t be able to do this and so would he. 

That’s why my guess is he accepts me but doesn’t particularly like nor dislike me. Just what I feel for him. 

Yeah, because whatever I feel automatically applies to him. 

Nevertheless what I definitely know is that I am on high alert around him and he fucking knows it and uses it against me. Again a game he plays with me. Something to keep him entertained. 

Maybe that’s what he feels towards me. He sees me as a little plaything to help him through the boring time in recovery. 

So much for trying to trust him. Not even in my own weird scenarios do I give him the benefit of the doubt that he isn’t a sadistic ass. 

Does he really need me to save his career or is it all a charade? 

I can’t get this bile of a thought out of my head. He talked too much about my father, who is the coach of his archenemy team. I have the eerie feeling it is all connected to him and Satoru is lying to me. Lying that it has nothing to do with my father. 

In the end I have to accept I’m not a special snowflake like Suguru made me seem like in our conversation. Satoru could have chosen hundreds of other girls with a similar reputation as mine without the ties to one of his archenemies. 

And again, so much for trying to trust him.

Trust takes time, especially after everything Satoru and I have been through. He probably doesn’t trust me either. 

Maybe in the long run I am in the wrong and Satoru has no interior motives, but as long as I am not a hundred percent certain, I will have my doubts. 

Keep your fake boyfriend close, but your enemy closer, and Satoru is both for me. 

After all I didn’t not hear the final whistle. The match is still on and so far we have the same score. 

I fall in my bed and set up my new phone, putting in my old sim card and working through all my notifications I got over the last few days. 

It is around 11pm when I suddenly get a text message. I was just looking through pinterest for some inspo pictures for tomorrow's photoshoot as a message pops up: Come over.

I instantly know it is Satorus number. Who else would want to talk to me? 

Suguru maybe, but he would word it differently, even better call me. 

No, I know it’s Satoru.

For a second I ask myself how he knows I have a new phone but he probably can see the debiting of his card on an app or something. 

Why?, I plainly wrote him back after a few minutes of contemplating.

I fucked up, I get back and my heart stops for a second. 

Fucked up? What? 

This could mean a thousand things. 

Satoru, what did you do?, I type faster than I have anticipated. 

We didn’t even announce our fake relationship and he already messed up! 

Fuck against all odds, I should have known a wildcard like him has no chance of bettering himself. 

I go from shocked to angry as he simply answers me: Just come over and I will explain.

He doesn’t need to repeat it another time. I am on my feet in an instant, changing into one of my training skirts and pulling my snow boots on to keep my legs warm. I’m in too much of a hassle to even think about putting tights on. I would only rip them. 

How could he manage to mess up already? 

I stomp outside and use my phone light to navigate to the resort. It is cold but my anger keeps me warm as I sprint up the stairs onto the third floor. From Utahime I already know Satoru stays in room 301 so I don’t even ask him over text as I knock softly on his door. I’m on the edge of kicking it in, however I don’t want to disturb Shoko, Suguru and Ichiji, who are staying on this floor too.  

After a few seconds Satoru opens the door and without an invitation I step in. 

“What did you do?”, I walked inside his room, leaning at a wall across his bed and twitching my right leg nervously, waiting for him to finally talk. 

But as always he takes his time, closing the door quietly and entering the room, sitting down on the edge of his bed with wide legs. His hair is damp. My guess is he must have showered a few minutes ago. He wears a compress shirt, which must have been a pain to put on after having freshly showered. 

I try to only conduct that thought. 

Not how unbelievable tight it fits around his muscles and flexes perfectly with every move he makes. Focusing on his pants doesn’t work either. 

He wears grey sweatpants. That’s all I have to say.

If I didn’t know any better, I would say he does it to get a rise out of me. Nothing but entertainment for him. 

I will not give him this victory. I cross my arms and for the first time in forever I manage to look in his eyes. 

Anger wins over nervosity. 

“I fucked up”, he just repeats what he told me over text. 

I roll my eyes. “For fucks sake, what did you do?”, I want an answer now. No more beating around the bushes. A clear answer.

“I fucked up by believing in you”, his eyes wander from my exposed thighs to my eyes, looking sharp and challenging in a way.

“Eh?”, I mutter and frown, being flabbergasted. He just leans back on his elbows and stares at me. My anger leaves and my confusion mixes with the overall nervosity I feel when I am with him. I instantly can’t keep up the eye contact and look elsewhere. My mind starts to race. I can’t think of a reason why he should not believe in me. 

I mean, yeah my doubts about him are good reasons but he doesn’t know about my inner thoughts. 

Right?

Yes, right. He is not a mindreader, even though when he looks at me in this certain way I feel like he is. 

I hate his piercing blue eyes. They freak me out so much. Of course I think he can read my mind. His type of eye color would be given to supernatural beings in movies. Beings able to read minds. 

He laughs deeply and cuts me instantly out of my thoughts. I dare to look at him again. His focus is still completely on me and I clasp my arms firmer around me to calm myself down. 

“I believed you would be able to pull this fake relationship off, but you can’t even look at me.”

He noticed. 

Of course he did.

Fuck. 

I take a deep breath and act nonchalant, giving him a skittish smile. 

“You called me over in the middle of the night to tell me that? Are you serious?”

“Yes, I am. So what’s your problem?”, he counters. 

“I have none”, I lie. 

“Lie”, he immediately fires back.

“I was just frustrated with the whole thing, like come on. The photos looked so fabricated in the worst way.” 

“Because they are”, he blurts and tilts his head to the side, analyzing me. God, I hate his glance on me. 

“Duh, Sherlock, but it shouldn’t look like it”, I huff and turn my head to the side. 

He holds himself more up from the bed and grins: “Well, and aren’t people in love supposed to be able to look at each other?” 

I have no answer for that. I’m caught in a dilemma, again. He knows exactly how to get me and he enjoys it. 

“So I will ask again, what’s your problem?”

He won’t let go of this theme until I answer him and too bad he seems to be able to read through all my lies. 

I contemplate on trying another lie or just sprint out of his room, which would probably be easier than feeding him another fabrication. 

However I can’t run away from him or lie my way through this fake relationship. 

In the end I agreed on our deal and talking openly about my struggles is hard and even embarrassing, especially in front of Satoru, but I would rather want him to see me as an emotional fool than a wimp. 

And I would be damned to be the one quitting this deal. 

Letting him win, no. 

Even when this shouldn’t be a competition, I can’t stop seeing everything between us as a spiel. Surely I need to accept the rules have changed and now we are playing as a unit and if I go against him, it will bite me in the ass as well. 

Granted, I still don’t trust him and probably never fully will, but I need to be able to communicate with him. 

“You”, I answer quickly and give him a side-eye. That’s all I can muster. 

“Me?”

“You”, I say again without a further explanation. 

“Care to elaborate”

Not really, but I have to. I lean against the wall and I am thankful for the dime light in this room. It’s just illuminated by the bedside lamp and the moonlight outside the window. 

“Just everything”, I let it slip out and finally decided to be honest: “in the matter of a few hours we went from wanting to blackmail each other to faking a relationship. We lied, argued and I threw your lunch at you. We nearly even-”, I stop but Satoru ends my sentence: “fucked.”

“Correct.”, I bite my lip: “And I could ignore all this and try my best to move on, but you keep looking at me in a way that makes my skin crawl.”

I wanted to add his teasing words and touches too, but then I would have to admit this affects me and for now telling him I have a problem with the way he looks at me is enough to confess. 

Small steps. 

“I look at you like I look at everyone else”, he sits straight on the bed and has his arms crossed too. I don’t believe him, but he’s more stubborn than me. If he doesn’t admit it on his own, he will never, even when I would call him out on his bullshit. 

If he doesn’t want to be honest, I will be dishonest too.

“Good, maybe I just have a general problem with your eyes.”

“My eyes are the problem now?”

“Yeah, your freaky blue eyes.”

He laughs deeply again and his white teeth beam in the light moonshine. 

“This is a first one. People normally find my eyes quite beautiful.”

They are. 

In a strange way. 

But I would never tell him.

His intensely colored eyes aren’t the actual problem. I know it, he knows it. It is the way he looks at me with them. It would freak me out with everyone, but his special eyes make it even harder on me. 

“Okay, got it”, he smoothly gets on his feet and walks over to a shelf. Rummaging in the dark through a section he pulls out a sweat headband. I watch him curiously as he slides it over his forehead and over his eyes.

“Problem solved.”

I start to laugh in disbelief.

“This doesn’t solve anything, Satoru. You can’t forever walk around blindfolded.”

He shakes his head and stands tall, looking in my direction. 

“Not forever, just until you are comfortable around me”, he says and for whatever reason he actually seems serious. 

“This is so stupid”, I mutter and get my full weight back on my legs, no longer leaning against the wall but my arms are still crossed and the frown never leaves my face. 

“Stupid is that my girlfriend can’t even look in my eyes without getting flustered.”

“I’m not getting flustered.”

“Sure”, he buzzes and I pucker my lips at that. 

He is right, but I would never tell him.

I hate it when he is right. Which he sadly often is. 

“Are you looking at me?”, he asks as he steps towards his bed with confidence and sits down again. Weirdly enough he is good at being blindfolded. 

“Right at your blindfold”, I answer and pronto earn a smirk from him. 

“Good girl, we are making progress.”

I snort at his comment and tap my foot on the floor. 

“What now?”, I ask and curse myself for getting a heat flush in my cheeks.

Satoru pats on the spot next to him on his bed. I do him the favor and sit down, his head immediately turning towards me as my weight dents the mattress. “Personally I would suggest that you let me fuck this issue out of your brain.”

I roll my eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, young lady.”

“How did you know?”, I look at the sweatband. It is a thick material that completely covers his eyes. No way he can see me.

“I just know you”, he grins from ear to ear. 

“Creep”, this comment even earned me a wider smile from him. 

“Yeah, your suggestion is not happening”, I quickly add before he continues his shenanigans. 

A big pout appears on his face, which gains him another eye roll from my side. For him to even suggest this out of funsies is moronic.

But what am I even expecting, he literally just blindfolded himself. 

Stupid.

Wait.

I sit next to him and look in his face without getting nervous. It works? Weirdly enough. 

God, I am pathetic. I’m really getting nervous from his stares. How did I ever win Gold medals when just his eyes make me uncomfortable? I had millions of eyes on me and it never bothered me. 

I need to get a grip. Now. 

“No, we will do something I never do when I am in bed with a woman”, he leans slightly forward into my space.

“Talk about ourselves and all this other stuff. That’s what you ladies like to do, right?”, another smirk.

“A creep and a sexist too”, this time I didn't roll my eyes. Satoru laughs heavily and lets his back fall flat onto the mattress. His arms over his head as he continues to chuckle with his shirt rolled up, exposing his lower stomach, which moves with his laughter. With all my willpower I maintain myself from looking more downwards. 

Damn, these grey sweatpants. They should be illegal. 

I would rather look into his eyes now than seeing this. This sight doesn’t just leave me nervous, it makes me think of the night in my car as I nearly said ‘fuck it’ and would have given in to him. 

Regret is a cruel thing, especially when I see how everything after that night has turned out. Nevertheless having sex with him wouldn’t have solved anything. 

Well, maybe I would be able to look into his eyes or let’s be real, I would be even more nervous around him. 

“What’s your favorite color?”, he asks out of nowhere. 

“Why?”, I ask instead. 

“We are supposed to be a couple and barely know about each other”, he extends his arm and snips with his finger against my forehead: “and hopefully knowing me will help you be more comfortable around me. We are in love after all.”

I rub the spot on my forehead he managed to brush and wonder again how he was able to do that with the blindfold on. After a while I answered him, telling him my favorite color. He tells me his too, but I already know it. Suguru mentioned it today. 

We start to talk. First about mundane things like favorite food and seasons, but we soon drift more down into past stories and our general life. Satoru lives in a penthouse on the Upper East Side, and as he told me the price for it, I nearly fainted. He has no siblings and comes from a family of real estate and financial moguls. They weren’t happy with his choice to become a professional Ice Hockey player but Satoru doesn’t care what they think. He never let them dictate his life. 

Unlike me who was put into skates the moment I learned to walk. I envy his carefree nature. The entire time we talked he was always positive, witty and completely pleased with himself, like he never regretted one thing in his life. He laughs at his own jokes before he even utters one word and he is quick with his remarks. 

He can keep up with me, which is something I appreciate in a person. Do I still think he is arrogant, self-centered and reckless? Yes, but I can see why. 

If I had his life and success I would probably behave the same way. You reap what you sow and Satoru was born to be a living victory. Our conversation made me understand him a tad more. 

After a while of talking, I lie down next to him, looking at the ceiling. 

“I’m sorry for being difficult. I thought it would be easier for me”, I confess and feel him move closer next to me. His head turns and even with the blindfold on I can feel his glare on me. Slowly he spins in my direction and opens his arms. Instead of giving him the hug he seems to ask for, I only frown. 

“Stop frowning and come here.”

How does he know?

With an annoyed sigh, he grabs my shoulder and pulls me to his chest, slinging his arms around me. I slightly yelp at his action but let him be as he starts to slide his hand up my back to my neck, gently rubbing circles with his thumb there. 

“It’s fine, don’t apologize. We are a team now, mate” 

“Mate?”, I grunt in disbelief. All that is left for him to do now is to give me a fist bump and hand me a can of beer before burping in my face.  

I can feel him smile into my hairline as he presses his lips against my forehead. Again, I let him. No protest, nothing. 

With him it is always against all odds.

“So what are we? We aren’t really dating, we sadly aren’t fucking and I bet you wouldn’t consider me your friend.”  

“We are-”, I pause for a good second and think. 

“We are something in between that.”

He groans lightly, dipping his nose in my hair. 

“Call me what you want, just not mate.”

As if he isn’t calling me princess every other sentence. 

“I like partner”, I add and gain another snort from him.

“What, are we a law firm?”, I push lightly against his chest, just now registering that we are really close as I particularly lie in his arms. 

“Okay, partner. I have one more question for you.”

“Mhm?”, I murmur, my eyes slightly closed as my hand stays flat on his pec. 

“Didn’t I tell you how much your little skirts turn me on?”, my breath hitches in my throat. 

“I-”, I start but never finish the sentence, heat glowing in my face. He leans down to hear me better. An act to make me more skittish. As if he doesn’t know exactly that I have no answer. 

“Don’t act coy, you knew exactly what you were doing when you decided to pull up in that outfit.” 

Did I? Maybe unconsciously. 

I try to press myself up, but he doesn’t let me go and crushes my body more into his chest. With a swift motion he rolls us to the side and hovers with his elbows next to my shoulders over me. His face inches away from mine, still with his blindfold on. The only reason I am able to look at him. 

“So let me ask you again, partner”, one of his arms travels down my side, stopping right at the end of my skirt. 

“Please let me fuck this issue out of your brain”, his fingers play with the hem of it, softly touching my skin. 

I don’t move, but my body isn’t frozen like it usually is when I am with him. This situation feels familiar, his fingers on my thighs feel familiar. It was like this when we were in my car. The same grip, the same warmth and the same rawness. I’m not sure if I can resist a second time. 

Thankfully my brain is smarter than my body. 

“This is a bad idea”, I whisper as his fingers move my skirt up my ass, exposing more of my skin. 

“It’s not, trust me. It will help both of us.”

I laugh breathlessly at his answer and stop his hand from moving in between my thighs. I love this fucking blindfold. It really helps to withstand him, but only if I keep looking at his face. Once I get his body in my sight, I will cave in.  

“How will it help you?”, I ask in a low tone. He doesn’t care about my hand holding his back from moving up. He slowly keeps going until he reaches the already soaked fabric of my panties. 

"Contractual I’m only allowed to fuck you”, he answers and it certainly isn’t written like this in our contract but in a way he is right. We aren’t allowed to have sexual contact with other people, but we can. 

I should have phrased it better. 

“and sex really helps with the enormous, gigantic, unbearing pain in my leg.”

What a charming idiot. 

Even in the dim light I see the feigned pout on his face and I would giggle at that if his fingers weren’t dipping slightly under my panties. Satoru doesn’t move his hand further in, he waits for my allowance. 

“Is that so?”, I roll my hips lightly, gaining a low hiss from him. 

“Yes.”, he snaps the hem of my panties against my skin, making me quiver. 

“Are you trying to guilt trip me?”, I blow into his ear, grazing his earlobe.

“Only if it works.”, he brushes his finger featherlight over my clothed pussy, securing a whiny moan from me.

“Where are the cameras? Want to film me a second time?”, I joke breathlessly, not able to tease him more.

“No cameras, just us. I’m serious.”, he presses his hand now on my abdomen, still waiting for my go. 

My go?

In a clear moment I realize what I’m just doing here and all my self-doubts come crashing down on me like an avalanche. I wriggle quickly back, but not entirely out of his hold. Hastily I shake my head and he can feel the movement. 

Something in his mimic switches. The playful pout is gone, making his face appear sharp and rough again. 

“Use your words”, he demands: “just say no and I will never try anything with you again, I promise.”

Instead of giving him a clear answer to his question I stutter: “What if you don’t like it?”

His forehead is immediately covered in wrinkles as he sits up, his hand appearing from under my skirt to now push down on my right hip. I know this expression so I continue to stammer an explanation: “We are on a good path, I don’t want to risk it by getting intimate.”

“I get that, but why should I not like it?” 

A logical question from his part, but a hard one to explain from my view. 

By being trimmed to be perfect all the time on ice, the urge to become excellent in every  other aspect of my life is present. Not only always looking put together, no, also always performing impeccably in everything I do. With that comes the weakness to care what other people think of me, as if to make sure my act is superb. Not only to the public, but also to people in my private life. I want to be considered perfect by them too. The fake relationship with Satoru wrench this well put together image I created of myself and it irks me. But I try to see it as a challenge to overcome it, not caring about what random people think of me. However this doesn’t apply to people I personally know. 

And I know Satoru. 

Knowing someone doesn’t instantly mean spending time with them. 

Heck, I am no virgin. I went to the Olympics. After the competitions are over, we celebrate with meaningless hook-ups. 

There is a reason the organizers put condoms in each room. 

But the keynote is meaningless. 

It was just one time and I have never seen them again. 

I didn’t have the need to perform in such a situation.

Do I still care that they thought I was good? Sure. 

But would I freak out if they thought I wasn’t? No.      

Because I certainly didn’t care at these moments. They were often quick and fun and over. A good time where I was able to finally let my guard down and enjoy being just me. 

I’m sure some of the guys didn’t even know in what segment I was competing, because I for sure didn’t know theres. In conclusion I never acted when it came to sex, because I only ever slept with a person one time. 

With that being said, with Satoru it would be different. We will spend time together. A lot of time. He knows me. Dismally the real me. 

I showed him my ugly side by being a competitive, stubborn bitch, who would have loved nothing more than to blackmail him out of my rink. 

The almost sex in my car was a performance. I wanted to trick him, so I performed in a way I knew he would like. I act and act and act to come across as perfect, but I can’t do this when it comes to real sex.

I never got complaints, but the self-doubt of not knowing for sure if I will be good, is eating me alive. I know I am good on ice, because I train my ass off. Every jump and figure gives objective points. I can count it and get a score, but intimacy is subjective. I don’t know what he likes or dislikes and even the thought of not knowing what he is thinking drives me nuts. Satoru is already an enigma to me, but bringing in the mystery of intimacy? 

No, thank you. 

Worse is, he is an expert in hook-ups. At least if I believe the tabloids. 

Screw that, I saw some of the conversations he had per DMs with some of his liaisons. He is an expert, unlike me. 

I can’t keep up this act with him. I am afraid I will slip and perform badly and this will ruin everything between us. 

In a god-awful form I would feel the need to be perfect for him, if we sleep together, because in my head he is perfect in this discipline. And now we are back at the core of all evil. My hatred for losing. Losing against him. 

What if I like it and I am certain I will but he doesn’t? I would never overcome this foul pain for failing. 

“I don’t know, it’s just a thought.”

When I’m with Satoru I mutate into an individual who’s unable to tell a good lie. 

And when it comes down to this theme, I can only try to lie. I would never tell him my real thoughts. Not with something that defines my character so harshly. Being perfect. 

“It’s a stupid thought”, he states and drops his knees to the ground, sitting in front of me, his upper body between my legs. 

I know it is a stupid thought, but it is still lingering in my mind, not going anywhere. 

“I promise I will love it.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can”, no hesitation in his answer. He truly believes it and this makes me even more insecure, even if he meant it to take my worries away. 

“How?”

His huge hands are sitting on my hips, engulfing my entire frame as he looks up at me, still wearing the blindfold over his eyes. As he leans more forward his broad chest parts my legs even more. 

“Because I actually like you.”

I can only roll my eyes at that statement. 

“Yeah right, I gave you so many reasons to like me.”

He cackles and presses his cheek on the inside of my thigh, his hands pulling me closer to the edge of the bed towards him. 

“Right, you did. You are an absolute cunt”, this bastard chuckles, slightly grazing his teeth along my soft skin. I don’t dare to breathe. 

“and that’s why I like you. The beloved, little ice princess for everyone but to me you are a treacherous, filthy wench, who likes nothing more than to see her opponents slowly decay on the ground, while standing winning over them. Fuck baby, we have so much in common. So please, I’m begging you, let me fuck this insecurity out of your brain.”

My jaw is stiff and jammed together. I should yell at him for the way he described me. 

But… indeed I give it to him, he is right about me. I’m not the pure Gold medalist I portrait myself to be.

Still his words don’t make any sense. Why would any person like me for being in his words a treacherous, filthy wench. Only psychos would find this real version better than the one I show off to the public. 

Well, I called him a psycho before, maybe he really is one.

No… I think?   

Eventually after going over his words over and over again, I have no other answer to this than: “Okay.”

And that is all he needs as he pulls me forward with such a force, my back falls flat on the bed. Even with the blindfold on, he knows exactly what he is doing. In a rush and equally eager motion he yanks my panties down my legs, not even being patient enough to completely pull them off my feet, as he arranges my legs on top of his shoulder. 

With a hunger I have never experienced with another person, he leaps his mouth unto my pussy. His flat tongue moves up from the hole to my clit, making me jolt.

“This is not-”, before I can continue, he slaps me firmly against my ass, making me choke on my sentence. 

“I decide how I will fuck your insecure, wet cunt, so shut up and enjoy.” 

I do as I’m told, but I can’t keep quiet for long. I moan his name, not caring about the others on this floor. Satoru isn’t bothered by this, he lets me be as loud as I want to be. 

Holding my hips tight, he is not letting me squirm away. Torture, everything is torture with him as he draws slow but steady circles with his tongue. I just know he likes to see me wince, even now when he is physically not able to do so with his blindfold. Feeling his devilish grin appear between my folds each time I whimper, makes me feel more and more like I’m losing. I talked about the debt I don’t want him to have over me. 

Well, that is now more apparent than ever before. I will never be able to repay him for this pleasure. I’m a hundred percent convinced.

“I already love it”, he declares before filling me up with two of his digits. I grab into his oh so soft and damp hair, wanting to feel him more. His fingers move in rhythm with his tongue. In and out, slowly like he wants me to suffer. Which I do.

He finds the right spot every time his fingers are back into me. I swear to God he knows it, by the way he can feel my inside starting to clamp around his insanely long fingers.

But he mocks, even ridicules me by not letting me come to my high. I’m so embarrassingly close to begging him. 

To please just let me cum. To please just let me finally lose, so I accept it sooner that I will be in his debt forever.  

Luckily he picks up his speed once I clasp my legs around his face, resting my heels on his hard shoulders. 

“So perfect for me”, he chuffs and every little insecurities in felt before melted right away at his words.

I won’t tell him I’m close, I just want to cum without him dragging it out over and over again. 

And he will if he knows. 

Yet, I’m not good at keeping my closeness hidden as I grind absolutely feral and needy against his tongue, shifting my hips hastily up and down. Just chasing my own peak, not caring for a second what Satoru thinks, oddly enough.

But I forgot he has done this rodeo more than enough to read a woman's body. Right as I can almost taste the pinnacle of my orgasm, he stops and bites harsh on my inner thigh. I jerk up, completely out of breath and mad. 

Oh, so mad. 

Before I have the chance to throw ruthless cusses at him, he softly kisses the spot and pushes my legs off him, tossing me downright to the side. He stands up towering over my frame on the bed. 

“What are you doing?”, I ask with teary eyes in between rapid breaths.  

“Did you forget? We are a team now and for our first play I want us to cum together.”

Still I don’t know how he knows exactly where which part of my body is, but he grab my jaw harshly and snickers: “I know how fucking much you love a fair game.”

His thick thumb presses against my lips and I let it in. A mistake. He pushes it down my tongue, trying to gag me by moving it more and more down my throat. First I can handle it, sucking on it. But Satoru is never satisfied, he always seems to take it to the extreme as he holds my throat with other hand in place, lightly choking me from the outside too. I bite down on it as I can’t take it anymore, finally being able to breathe again as I gasp for air. 

“If you ever do this when my cock is in it, you will regret it.”

Spit is traveling down my chin as I look up at him. His face is turned to mine and if he didn’t have the blindfold on his agonizing eyes would look right at me. 

“Want to give it a try?”, I counter in a challenging way and instantly hate myself for it. Satoru is unpredictable and I’m not in the state to deal with his dick down my throat when he is sullen. 

After a few long, gnawing seconds he smirks at me and I allow myself to fill my lungs with air again. 

“Another time gladly”, he just announces before stepping back and gripping the rim of his pants. Satoru hasn’t even seen my naked body, but I can see the rock hard outline on the fabric. I gulp.

“But for today I have already told you my plan.”

His pants are down and he’s not wearing boxers. I knew it from the almost sex in my car that he is huge, but seeing his cock so close in front of my very sight, I whiz down the bed. Satoru notices instantly and grabs my ankle. 

“Satoru, I will die”, I share my unfiltered thoughts with him. I know confessing this will feed his ego well, but I don’t care. 

“No one has ever died”, he wipes over his mouth, which glistens with my juice and uses it to pump his colossal cock with his other hand a few times and adds with a wide grin: “so far.”

It is way longer than the average, even with both my hands I wouldn’t be able to completely cover it. The head is soft pink which sticks out against his pale skin and is already dripping precum. His girth is massive and overall slightly curved to the left. Mother nature really has her favorites and she decided to bless Satoru more than everyone I have ever encountered. 

“Not funny”, I murmur with a dry mouth as he pulls me towards him again, leaning over me. 

“I thought you like challenges.”

“I’m serious.”, and I’m being serious.

He sighs as he slowly reaches out to my face and collects the drool I choked out before. Holding out his flat palm to me, he doesn’t even need to say a word for me to know what he wants me to do. I still hesitate. 

“Never took you as a quitter”, oh, this fucking asshole. 

He knows exactly how to rile me up.

I spit in his hand, drawing a little smile out of his focused face as he coats his length with it. 

With his range I will need all the help I can get, even when my pussy is right now more wet than she ever was. 

Casually he leans on top of me, upholds his own weight with his left arm, so he doesn’t crush me as his right hand aligns the tip of his cock with my hole. I stop squirming and let him gradually insert his tip in. I whine into his shoulder, biting down on his neck as my hands claw into his back. He gasps heavily and shows mercy by giving me a few seconds to accommodate the sensation. 

The only fucking plot twist is, I never truly accommodate to it. It feels like he is splitting me open, leaving me raw and wounded. Once he starts to roll his hips, I see stars and cry into the crook of his neck.

“Psht, my angel, trust me, it will be fine”, he holds my head in his large hand, wiping a tear off my cheek: “I was made for you and you were made for me.”

I can’t even register his lovely words as all my cells are entirely focused on his dick entering me. 

He stops the movement of his hips for a second to kiss my temple, before slowly starting to move again after I adjusted myself a bit. I feel more than full, ready to break into two. He is stretching me completely out. 

After what felt like forever, he is fully tucked in. At this intensity all I’m able to do is keep my mouth open and try to breathe so I’m not fainting. He was right, he can fuck the insecurity out of me, because my brain is not able to think in this state. Every cell is targeting what Satoru is doing to me. 

Gently he takes my hand and guides it down from my chest to my abdomen, letting me palm his bulge inside of me. I can sense it twitching and pulsating inside of me. I whimper.

“See, you didn’t die”, he tries to joke. I would like to think that he does this to smoothen my angst, but he probably means it in a tantalizing way. 

“Ready?”, he asks and the rational part of me screams No! but I want to, no, I need him to move. 

“Mhm”, I weep and wrap my legs around his waist, ready to let him in even deeper. 

“Good”, he quickly purrs and I should have known that he won’t hold back. Slipping out of me, he barges into me again in a rough and provoking manner. Completely out and back completely in. My entire body feels equally nothing and everything all at once. I’m wholly at his mercy as he picks up the speed, pulling one of my legs up his chest unto his shoulder to penetrate me even further. Babbling his name and incoherent words all together, he puts his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. I sink my teeth into his palm and grab the sheets, hoping my body will get used to it, but it never does. Unable to form a thought, just getting dumbfucked for what felt like hours.

Satoru doesn’t seem to be out of breath, while I get brain fog and grasp that not even my training for the Olympics made me feel this exhausted. 

But I don’t want this to stop, it’s painfully good and he hits the right stop each time, bringing me closer and closer but I try my best to suppress the coil forming in my insides that wants to finally be released. He wants us to cum together and he’s not there yet. My hands wander from his back to his chest under his compressed shirt, that clings even more to his body now with all the sweat and heat coating it. Once I touch his chest to caress his solid muscles and he starts to groan gravely into my ear, I can’t take it any more.

“Please, I can’t ‘ake it no more”, I sob: “Allow me to cum, please.”

He only chuckles intensely at my statement, letting his lower body crush more into mine as I feel the waves of mocking laughter.

“I said together”, he is stern again, making it clear that there is no way around. Right now I want to please him more than anything in this world, so I listen and be good.  

Picking up his pace again, I notice his thrusts getting sloppier, his groans becoming lower and sharper. 

“Now, angel. For me”, and I do as he says as he dives into me one last time, painting my walls with his warm cum. My eyes roll back into my head as I come undone. After a few seconds of breathing heavily with closed eyes I open them again and see him staring at me. 

No blindfold. 

How could I ever find those eyes scary?

“So beautiful”, at first I thought I said it outloud, but these are Satorus words.  

I push his sweaty hair back and kiss him. For what we just did, this kiss feels way too innocent, but it is the ideal ending. Shyly letting my fingers linger against his jaw, he kisses me a second time with more force but still nothing compared to the dirty kisses we shared in my car. Resting his forehead against mine, he pants lightly before giving me his usual wide flirtatious smile.

“Did it work?”

I still lie under his huge body, mouth slightly open and my mind too blown to register what he wants from me. 

I just let out a confused noise, which scored me one of his lighthearted grunts. He strokes his nose alongside mine, not breaking eye contact.

“Fucking your insecurities away?”

“Obviously”, I whisper, his eyes being the only things in my field of view. He hovers himself up and glides out of me, making me miss him immediately. 

I watch him putting his pants back on as I just lie there, unable to move. For a minute I am sure he broke something in me because I can’t maneuver my limbs. 

“No need to thank me”, he discloses with a wide smirk as he pulls my panties up and my skirt down to cover me. I’m actually glad that he isn’t cleaning me up or inviting me to take a bath in his room. I will do this on my own. The kisses were already on the edge of being too romantic. Can’t risk more.

“I wasn’t planning to”, I snap back, becoming defensive again as I lift myself up, feeling the soreness in my legs and core. As I manage to stand up with wobbly legs, Satoru watches me with a fat grin. 

“Will you be able to be on the ice tomorrow for the photos?” 

I glared daggers at him for this mischievous tone. 

“I had tougher challenges.”

“I should have really filmed this, just so I could repeat the part where you sobbed because you thought my dick would kill you.”

Asshole.

I show him my middle finger and step past him, concentrating on keeping my steps steady. I walk to the door and turn one last time around, seeing him leaning against a wall with his arms crossed. 

“This was a one time thing”, I declare, but not really believing myself either once I uttered it.

“Sure”, he replies with his mouth twitching slightly upwards. I know he is holding a simper back. 

“I’m serious.”

“And I said sure.”

I roll my eyes and open the door.

“No word to anyone”, I demand and slam the door behind me way too loudly for the time of the day. 

I hush down the stairs and stroll as fast as my aching legs allow me to home. His cum is already leaking out of me as I step under the shower. I regretted not fucking him in my car and now I wish I could say the regret I felt wasn’t worth it. I should regret sleeping with him, but I don’t. 

It was as good as winning feels like, at certain times even better. 

But I was right. It has to be a one time thing. He already cracked my body open, no need for him to get closer by doing the same to my mind. 

I let him in today. Not just in me, I mean my inner thoughts. I laid my self-doubts out like an open book while he still hasn’t shown me a bit of a vulnerable side. 

He gained the lead this night, but I’m on his heels. A second time I won’t let myself be so frail and delicate in front of him.

Never again.

The next day I wake up with throbbing legs and a raw feeling in my bottom line. I swallow two ibuprofen pills and wait for them to hit, so I can at least attempt to put my stockings on. I opt for a light grey set. No skirt, a leggings this time. I won’t be able to stand his teasing today. 

I arrive at the rink on time. Suguru is talking with Shoko as I step past them on the tribune. I wave them hello and they both smile at me before falling back into their conversation. I fall heavy on a seat and begin to loosen the ties of my skates, so I can get them on. The painkillers help but everything still feels tender and bruised. Satoru is on the ice already with Mei Mei. Once he notices me, he glides over the ice towards the tribune, ignoring Mei Meis fierce instructions. With his signature smile he walks over to me. 

“Hi”, he says before looking me up and down.

“Hi”, I mumble back, able to look into his eyes. 

“No skirt?”

“No skirt.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want a certain person to enjoy himself too much.”

He snickers and takes my skates out of my hands. 

“Can you walk?”

“No, I flew here”, I roll my eyes: “Of course I can.” barely

“Feisty today”, he catches my legs and gently guides my foot into the skates. He is so enamored in his actions that he doesn’t notice me gloom over his sudden affectionate side.   

“How are you?”, I ask him to break the silence as he ties my skate. He quickly looks up at me and tilts his head like he would have never imagined me asking him such a question.

“Good, but I’m pretty sure Mei Mei is actively trying to kill me with this training”, his hair is already sticky again from all the sweat and his pale cheeks are rosy. 

God, is he beautiful. 

I shake myself in disbelief after that thought. 

“But thanks to a certain person the pain in my leg is bearable”, he grins down as he slips me on my second skate.

“So, you and the certain person are even?”

He huffs and looks up at me after tying my second skate. 

“Not at all, I still expect a ‘thank you’ card and chocolates.” 

“Idiot”, I snarl, but end up smiling. He still kneels in front of me like he did yesterday, but this time it feels lighter, better. Like we made a huge step into the right direction for our deal to work. 

“By the way, you did great yesterday, partner”, he slaps my leg a couple of times.

I give him a dirty look and complain instantly: “You are so corny, it is unbelievable.”

Before he can counter something, probably something even more corny, Suguru shouts from a few feet away: “I got the photo!”

We turn our heads confused at his direction as he walks over to us with his phone. He shows us a picture he just took from us. Satoru with his hand on my lower leg, grinning up at me and me smiling down at him. 

A real smile. Filled with affection. 

“I like it”, Satoru states, getting back on his legs. Both men are now looking at me for approval. I nod, rambling: “it’s really good”, before Mei Mei screams at Satoru to go back on the ice and Suguru tells me he will send me the picture. I just nod again, ignoring what happens around me.

“Hey, are you alright?”, Suguru asks me this question way too often and whenever he does, I am never alright. 

The way I smiled at Satoru in this picture. 

Ayo I’m fucked. 

[ge0rg1ewaa]

"They set it up!" - Neymar jr

A/n : this is so confusing and idk if it makes sense. I just wanted to post something, anything. hope u still enjoy it :)

[Third person pov]

The smell of freshly prepared pasta wafted through the corridors of the apartment. The atmosphere was soothing with a blanket on the couch & a favorite movie on the TV. The setting sun and its last rays were the only thing that could be seen through the window.

Today was Y/n's day off and she decided not to bother going out, to be honest, she wasn't in the mood either. Yesterday, she broke up with her boyfriend of a year and a half because she found out he was cheating on her. She didn't do anything all day. In the morning she went out to do the shopping, but since then she has been at her place, reading the unfinished book and finishing watching the last few episodes of the series she has been bingeing on lately.

After pouring herself a portion of the pasta, she headed to the sofa, taking her phone from the charger. The girl had not yet checked her social media, her phone flooded with messages from Instagram, Twitter and Messenger. There was nothing interesting in the internet world. There were no dramas at the moment, or at least Y/n hadn't run into them. One of the messages was from her boyfriend well ex now, Neymar jr, and read 'I'm really sorry. I promise you, I haven't done anything. You know I would never touch anyone else expect you. I love you. Baby please answer me. ' and stuff like that, but Y/n just blocked him. Less than a minute later, her phone rang. As soon as she saw that it was Neymar, she let him ring, but as soon as she realized that he was not going to give up so easily, she picked up the phone, but remained silent, letting him speak.

"Hi meu amor. I know you are there, but you are silent because you want me to speak, so I will speak and tell you everything. The other night after we won the game we went out for a treat but we got drunk and I don't even know how I got home. I swear to god I don't know the girl who was next to me. They set it up! We haven't done anything, I promise you. I know the pictures you saw don't do justice to my words, but I have a video where she is paid to lie next to me half naked. I'll send it to you so you can make sure too. Eu te amo muito. Eu nunca faria algo assim para te machucar. Você significa muito para mim. [ I love you so much. I would never do anything like that to hurt you. You mean so much to me.]" After he explained everything to her in one breath, Y/n unblocked him to send her the video. And he was right. The girl could be clearly seen haggling for the amount of money and eventually getting it, before taking off her dress and laying down next to the sleeping Neymar. But how did she get into his room?

"You can see for yourself what it's all about. I still don't know how she managed to get into my room and who helped her and why they took pictures, but at least I can rest assured that you know the truth." Neymar sighed, his red eyes filled with tears once again. He doesn't know how he let things get here. Only a day since the love of his life left him, but he doesn't know what is happening around him. At least now that Y/n had let him explain the ugly situation, he hoped she would return to his arms. He missed her, her touch, her kisses, her voice, her laugh, her presence in general. He was so deeply madly in love with her that he was ready to leave his family and end his career for her, and we all know how important family & football are to him.

He was just about to hang up the phone when her soft breaking voice called. "Ney, im so sorry. I should have let you explain earlier, but because of my stubborn head, I didn't and hurt both of us. I wish I could hug and kiss you. I miss you." Y/n said, her voice quiet but understandable. She knows that's not possible because of the miles that separate them every day.

" Se você descer e sair, seu desejo pode se tornar realidade. Se você descer e sair, seu desejo pode se tornar realidade. " [If you go downstairs and go outside, your wish may come true.]" Neymar replied with a small smile that could be heard in his voice.

He was here. He was finally here. Her smile shot across her face. Y/n would finally see him. She was so excited that she didn't even bother to get a jacket and flew down the stairs, opening the front door as quickly as possible. And here in front of her stood Neymar. With his classic smile and different hairstyle. He opened his arms and Y/n ran up and jumped on top of him. Her legs wrapped around his hips, his arms around her back and under her thigh to keep her from dropping to the ground. She nuzzled her face into his neck, smelling his fresh scent & he buried his face in her hair, inhaling her shampoo, which smelled of vanilla and cinnamon.

They pulled back and smashed their lips into each other's. Their lips seemed to be made for each other and fit together like a puzzle. Ney couldn't seem to enjoy Y/n's cherry lip balm & her hands were tangled in his curls.

"I missed you and I'm so sorry I didn't believe you at first." Y/n whispered, forehead pressed against Neymar's.

" Tudo está bem agora. Eu te amo." [ Everything is good now. I love you.]

" Te amo mais." [I love you more.]

[talisidekick]

I need your help...

If you don't know me, hello, I'm Accalia, I go by Tali Sidekick online on Youtube, Instagram, and on the rarest of occasions Twitch. I'm a 29 year old transgender woman from Canada, who came out and began socially and medically transitioning in 2021. I stream largely on Youtube and on the rare occasion I make videos (it's been over a year since I last did that).

I could use your help affording my legal name change. I've been trying to afford it myself but I'm unable to for reasons I'll get into below. The link is in my blog description, but I'll post it here:

Recently, while walking home from work (I don't make enough to afford public transit or my own vehicle or a bicycle) I got attacked by a middle-aged man in a dimly lit residential neighbourhood. I got away, and thankfully I didn't give him enough time to do more than grab me by the arm. However, I had to file a police report, which gave me two options: use my legal name which at current is my deadname (ie. a name I no longer wish to use) which would be distressing to say the least, or submit it anonymously. I chose the latter which unfortunately does little besides let the public know that someone dangerous with a vague description is in their area. I wish I could have put my name on that report but using my legal name as it stands now is ... I can't.

To add to this, I was saving up, but unfortunately the student loans I owe decided to charge me during an appeal process (they weren't supposed to) and when the charge partially bounced they denied my appeal (which isn't supposed to happen under the contract agreement I signed) because of "outstanding payments". The appeal process also only looked at my gross income for one month, specifically the month I got paid 3 times in (it happens only once a year) and decided to combine all three payments into an equal 2 and evaluated my paycheck at around 25/hr when I only make 16/hr and has thus denied me reduced loans payment (I'm working on this but it's adding to my stress). So at current, the $300 I had extra got eaten by the National Student Loans Services Centre (NSLSC) again and from previous experience even though I should be reimbursed once this is cleared up, I won't be.

I would have also had more (remember that extra third paycheck?) but my health insurance stopped covering me because despite being signed up to a provincial pharmacy program they decided I wasn't, and forced me to buy my hormones and ADHD meds out of pocket. They only -just- reinstated coverage, but getting reimbursed will take over a month possibly 2.

As such, I have exactly $48 in savings and $7 in my basic checking account.

I want to get my name changed, I've been trying for over 2 years, and it's been impossible. Every time I have the money to spare, the NSLSC eats it and doesn't give it back, some medical thing comes up, or some unforseen cost rears its head and consumes my meager savings. The cost averages out to about $450 because it requires Finger Printing for a background check, Notary Fees, Processing Fees, and Reprinting Fees for my Birth Certificate, Drivers License, and Marriage License.

And if the $450 goal is exceeded, any excess getsput towards affording the $6000 surgery cost of getting SRS/GRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery/Gender Reassignment Surgery). I have until December next year before my government will no longer cover the cost of the surgery supposedly.

If I can get help here, I really want all my legal doccuments to read "Llorelei Accalia [Lastname]". I'm so tired of having to explain to people that I'm transgender because the name, face, and (somehow) voice don't match.

Currently at:

$50/$450

[multimuseticles]

You know... I've been drawing ever since I was like 5 years old. It's something I've spent pretty much my entire life doing. The longest I'd ever really go without drawing is like a couple of months maybe, and lately I've been drawing on an almost near daily basis. But if I'm being honest, I'm fairly close to actually quitting.

I still love to draw and I don't really want to stop, but it's getting to a point where AI slop is just entirely taking over the internet. Finding even reference images these days is so difficult because google is filled with AI crap and a lot of actual art sites allow AI art(looking at you Pixiv and DeviantArt).

I used to get a couple of commissions a month just a few years ago. Then covid hit and I got a little less work because people didn't exactly have the same amount of money to spend, which makes perfect sense. But getting closer to the end of covid when people could actually go back to work etc, AI decided to creep its head up and now I'm lucky to get one commission every few months. Originally, AI art was laughable and it was only able to make really stupid shit that was basically illegible. Like that Dall-e thing.

Putting the rest under a read more because it's somewhat long.

But nowadays, a lot of people prefer to use AI than give actual artists attention. Especially now that a lot of big companies are pushing their own AI crap(looking at you Adobe and Meta). Instagram used to be a great place for artists, now its filled with AI crap that Instagram seems to fucking love and is basically training their AI on your own posts. They say you can opt out, but if you live in the USA? You seemingly can't. In the EU you can because of laws, so I was able to opt out. However. I don't trust Meta not to train off my shit anyway.

Then you've got Adobe, which y'know, was a thing for artists to create stuff, be that through Photoshop, Illustrator or even their video editors. But now they're just pushing their lame AI crap to do everything for you, and still charge a ridiculous amount for their service.

Now I'm not just complaining because I'm getting less work. It's just depressing that creativity is dying. Generative AI is being used in video games, movies, tv shows, music, youtube videos, voiceovers and pretty much EVERYTHING else. It's impossible to avoid these days. Sites that allow AI but ask you to tag it so people can hide it doesn't work either, because people just don't tag that shit.

Due to all this AI crap, artists are being accused of using AI to create their art, regardless of if they show proof or not. It hasn't happened to me yet, but I feel it's inevitable simply because I absolutely suck at drawing hands and I can just barely get the hang of them most of the time. A ton of actual artists have been essentially bullied to the point where they don't post their art online anymore, or are forced to change their art style.

It's so much harder for artists to get their work out there anymore because AI is taking over all of these sites so the majority of the stuff you see is generated bullshit. It has led to people being like "Why would I pay someone to do this when I can just write a prompt and get what I want in seconds?" and no matter what you say to people with this line of thought, they just do not give a single shit.

I'm fine with AI to an extent. I think it's fine to just use it for dumb shit between friends, or helping to get a design idea for an OC or something. But the moment you start making money from AI or posting it online and claiming it as your own(and saying that people should credit you if you used it???) is the moment I think it's not okay. Have you seen Facebook or Twitter lately? Filled with really messed up AI images and AI responses. Facebook is rampant with weird and disturbing looking AI generated images and Twitter is 90% bots these days.

This whole post was spurred on by a conversation I saw between two of my friends. One of my friends wanted to get into graphic design, and being the artist of the group and having experience in graphic design, he came to me for advice. He got some very basic stuff done and he was really proud of it. He was showing some of the stuff he made to our other friend who simply responded with an AI generation of the same thing saying "Just use AI man, it's quicker and looks better." It was super depressing to see, especially since I've had conversations about how much I hate generative AI with these same friends.

So at this point I'm on the edge of just stopping. I probably won't, but I'm starting to lose motivation because I feel like there is no safe place to upload my art anymore. Will I stop? Probably not, but the temptation is there. I dunno, fuck generative AI man.

Sorry for the long ass rant, but I'm just getting so fed up with this crap.

[feral-creep]

y’all i just…. AAAAAH

vent about work and creativity and grief incoming

ever since my mom got sick i had to give up my more lucrative “career” day hustle (video editing) and pick up night shifts at a bar. and like. it’s a college dive bar, so the tips are not great.

this particular dive bar is known around the community as the hardest place to work, and the reputation is not for nothin’:

the average server at a normal place has a 4-5 hour shift and covers 3-5 tables. WE, on the other hand, work 10-12 hour shifts with zero mandated breaks and cover 8-10 tables, many of which can seat 8-10 people at a time.

it is exhausting work that has kept me in amazing shape and has kept my sanity during the grieving process… but it’s undeniably hard as fuck.

and i feel like i’m constantly just treading water, not making enough to fully get rid of my credit card debt and move out of this shithole town… i could make so much more money serving in chicago…

yet i’m never working so little as to be able to actually, y’know, write

BUT. but. the job is not why i don’t create as much. the job is not the reason.

the reason is my own dumb brain and my own dumb shame about not being a “responsible” member of society, not being “where i should be” or “where i thought i would be” at 36 years old.

because that concept? it is bullshit. even though my peers who i used to work with in video are all flourishing, it doesn’t matter—they did not have a terminally ill mother living in bumfuck college town of nowheresville, midwaste! so what if they are now getting deals with HBO! that sort of life was maybe never in the cards for dirtbag little ol me!

and also, since like WHEN did i ever care about being a dirtbag loser anyway? being a dirtbag loser is punk rock as fuck????

i am trying to force myself out of thinking that creative pursuits are a “luxury” that must only be pursued once Everything Responsible Has Been Completed—because frankly i don’t even do that shit anyway!!! lmao (what ends up happening is that i spend 5 hours on social media, 0 hours doing laundry, and also 0 hours writing)

so maybe like, fuck twitter, fuck instagram, fuck frittering away my life 5 minutes at a time trying to convince myself i’m totally going to get up and sort thru the mail, and just. do the things i like doing. because THAT is punk as fuck.

basically i’m coming to the conclusion that i have been flailing around trying to escape a situation i am trapped in by being “responsible”—diligent with my money, a good little worker bee, etc etc—and like, very obviously not succeeding, so i might as well live “selfishly” (i.e. creatively)

when i’m dead no one’s gonna be like “feral creep touched our lives by being so on top of her laundry and having a very organized pile of receipts”

no, no they will not!

i still get comments every week or two from readers about how much [save scum] means to them, and fuck if i don’t want to somehow adapt portions of this story and Lethe so she can resonate with even more people outside this fandom…

after, of course, i finish the fic. lmao.

[indianchindian]

I don't usually come on Twitter, because it is a shit show for sure, but I checked it out last night after seeing Be On Cloud's Instagram post about some event featuring Apo and KT Kratae (First Lady of BOC since she's literally the first woman to sign up this company and i hope more gender sign up for it apart from cis men) and then there is another which is for 4 Minutes that has Bible, Jes, Job, Bas and all. Then after this I saw a tweet and Mile wrote a long tweet supporting them. This is after the stupid gf fiasco happened, so some people were literally like "where is mile?" and some replied that he's making money and spending it all on his gf. In my interpretation, they mean it in a passive-aggressive way, that puts me off. I saw Mile's IG post about him doing a rehersal for a music event or something? Not very sure but idk why do they have to bring his gf here, apart from the fact that their delusions of Mile and Apo being a couple have broken, even though I heard that it was pretty much known amoung Thai fans since the KinnPorsche days that Mile already has a gf. Now people would be like "Why is he all touchy and holding hands with Apo?" like guys? So you don't know what same-sex friendships are like? I'd be a huge womanizer if I use their logic then lol, because I'm as affectionate with my female friends as them 😭

Thankfully I'm one of those who never saw MileApo as a couple. I always find their interactions to be wholesome, but to me they mostly act as friends. Sure I noticed that they were being a lil fan service-y, but that's part of the entertainment business. Unfortunately, a lot of fans feel entitled to dictate their lives. They love us as we do, but that doesn't give us such entitlement apart from them doing damn good at their jobs, i.e., entertainment. We only know their public personas, but we don't know what's behind that persona. That's the reality, whether it's sad or not.

Fuck that! On IG someone even tagged his gf and blamed (or sarcastically thanked) her for the sinking MileApo ship! Luckily someone said that they were never a couple in the first place. This is beyond deluded to begin with, and while I'm angry at the delusional shippers, I'm glad that this has broken the ship. And I'm also glad to have shipped them as KinnPorsche and not as MileApo. I freaking still love their chemistry, but it's only because they are besties and that their intimacy coordinator is damn fucking good at their job. Now back off if you still are mad at Mile or still delusionally ship MileApo. I don't mind those who are casual shippers though.

And all of this reminds me of Perth Nakhun pointing out in his BL Q&A video that a lot of fans become "body-language experts". Many months ago I pointed out on MyDramaList (I was very active there at that time) about a reel of Mile not touching a woman's upper-back while clicking a picture with her as she was wearing a backless dress, then transitioning to him being touchy-feely with Apo, saying that only he can touch Apo. I remember one person commenting that they don't know basic human interactions and this applies a lot 😁😁😁 anyways, bye-bye!!!!