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sunniedesi · 22 days ago

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The Decay of Andy and Leyley: the bad, the ugly and the terrible

Now that it’s been a while since I finished the Decay route, I think I’m ready to finally analyse this chapter as a whole. I’ve collected my thoughts and read through a couple of people’s opinions here and there… just to be utterly disappointed. I knew casual fans generally didn’t understand much of the subtext for tcoaal, but damn are they completely lost with this one. Maybe it’s the fact that I only interact with a small echo chamber of the fandom that does get it, but after all the terrible takes I’ve had the displeasure of seeing, I think it’s time I leave my own. There is quite a lot to comment on, since this part of Decay builds upon several plot points of the story: the quarantine, the entity, lord unknown, and namely, the main duo’s upbringing and relationship. While I’d love to pick apart every nook and cranny of this episode, this analysis will only focus on Andrew and Ashley’s relationship, as that alone has plenty of things to dissect for one post. I will also comment on some of the changes done to the previous episodes and what that could mean for the next routes. (More below the cut, this will be a long one).

But before I begin anything I want to start with a disclaimer of the obvious; yes, this game is fucked up and the relationship is toxic, horribly so (wow, who would’ve thunk it?). If things weren’t messed up before then they certainly are now, so I understand why nobody would want to touch this game with a ten-foot pole. In fact, I’ve noticed many let’s players who’ve previously played it either not mentioning it or going as far as to delete every video they’ve made on it (not dropping names here but I had a couple of videos in my watch later taken down mere minutes after I saved them because of this). I often see people saying “it’s just fiction” as a defense for talking about this, which is totally valid, but my view of it is a bit different. It is fiction, yes, but also something that could very easily happen in real life and that a lot of people could (unfortunately) relate to. That’s what makes it uncomfortable and gross, and that is exactly the reason why we should talk about it. As per words of the author “although unpleasant, true [CHAOS AND MAYHEM!!!] can only be achieved by unearthing the root cause of one's issues and addressing the underlying decay.” Even if you think it’s icky and gross that doesn’t disqualify it from existing. Moreover, it calls for analysis as to why it makes you feel gross, which might I add is an impulse reaction to something much deeper than a simple “nooo they’re related,” as there are many layers to this from a moral, ethical and psychosexual perspective.

So… let’s talk about it.

The Bad: Andy and Leyley

The beginning of the episode tells us a lot about the upbringing of our characters, though most of it was writing on the wall if you paid attention during episode 2. We play as Andrew, examining his psyche and going through the motions of how to be a walking disappointment. As he cooks, cleans, excels at school and sets order in his family, he accomplishes a level of independence many don’t reach until adulthood, all before the age of 10. Yet every single mistake, as small or out of his control as it may be, is a cause for reprimanding. Renee doesn’t spare the emotional rod with him per se, expecting Andrew to go above and beyond for tasks that she should be responsible for. And whenever her live-in maid complains or dares to set an even playing field, such attempts are crushed by repressing him further into his shell. Berating, insulting, belittling him.

Nothing he does is ever enough, and it can’t be, lest giving him hope of ever meeting others’ expectations, of ever doing better. The more suppression, the less of his independence, say or personality, the easier to control. The less of Andrew the better. And as such, Andy was born: a sorry replacement for Andrew’s essence, easily malleable and capable of becoming everything you want him to be. Many believe Andy is a result of Leyley, but really

Andy was a nightmare of Renee’s own making. And speaking of nightmares, Leyley’s origins aren’t much different. Having a second child as a middle finger to your disapproving family is no good if you don’t intend to raise said child. But what’s the need when Andy is there to do it? Disciplining a kid aching for attention is far too taxing for Renee, especially one with as much attitude as Leyley. So, instead of inflicting more trauma as she’s done with Andy, she lets him pass his own over to her, creating a direct pipeline to the cycle of abuse. It should be noted that in one of the new visions available we see that Renee is an older sister herself, and was expected to also go above and beyond for her sister despite being completely disregarded by her family.

In other words, her treatment of Andy and complete neglect of Leyley are anything but surprising. It’s all she’s ever known. (Not excusing Renee, I hate her with a passion, but it’s important to know where everything is coming from).

Funnily enough, Leyley’s personality isn’t as innate as many believe. It’s easy to see her as the “difficult child,” but in reality, everything she does is a cry for help. We’re dealing with a lonely, undisciplined girl, disregarded by the world as a crybaby and a freak, left to be raised by trash TV and her clueless older brother. The result of this terrible concoction is a self-loathing, marshmallow spine of a boy and a lost, shrieky viper of a girl. Neither can like each other, because they don’t like themselves. And neither can help the other, because they refuse to see themselves for what they are. These are Andy and Leyley, the antagonists of the story.

As much as people have difficulty separating Andy and Leyley from Andrew and Ashley it must be noted that, from a narrative perspective, these are entirely different characters. Andy and Leyley are the immature, worst traits of our main duo personified: Andy is a paranoid pushover garnering resentment every time his buttons are pushed, while Leyley is nothing more than a scared little girl, terrified of abandonment and terrified of change. The more they push and pull, the more they test and bring out the worst in each other, the more they decay. But if these are Andy and Leyley, then who are Andrew and Ashley?

The Ugly: Andrew and Ashley

I believe the cliffhanger route is where we get to see the most of these two, though glimpses of them can be seen in the Shots and Such route. Andrew we know (thanks to his lengthy pov) is a crude and relentless antisocial who can’t stand anyone. He only does so out of keeping appearances, instilled by his mom, but just like her, is incapable of caring for anything. Something Ashley is very quick to point out when they were children.

We also see he’s very manipulative, sly and finds fun in (mentally) messing with people and romanticising the shit of his life, perhaps as a way to feel something other than the misery it bestows upon him. However, not playing nice can only bring trouble, so he hides behind the mask of the innocent pushover (Andy). Needless to say, this is a life full of lies and deception, utterly unsatisfactory. It will never fulfill his true desires and can only push him further into nihilism. But what are his true desires?

Well, to be seen and understood, the one thing no one’s ever bothered to do. No one except the mess of his own making. Ashley, the girl Andrew raised, is full of wit and charm. As seen in the flashbacks, she’s perceptive and quickly calls bullshit whenever she sees it. She doesn’t play nice, she doesn’t put up a front, she’s everything Andrew could be if he wasn’t afraid to show his true colors. This last bit is why I would argue Andrew is so drawn to her, that and of course all of the trauma bonding. As Andrew says himself, his attraction is pathological, i.e. unreasonable and irrational, a result of his loneliness and conditioning from childhood. And as much as I agree that it is paraphilic in nature, I do believe there is a logical side to his attraction; Ashley is loud, obnoxious and annoying. Carefree and unbothered, the flip-side to his Andy facade. In fact, she hates having to keep up appearances and how everyone around her is a phony. For Andrew, the man that has endured years of suppression and self-loathing, it is a relief, it is liberating to have someone just as bad as him. Someone who wouldn’t be afraid of him. Someone who could meet him at the same level; an equal.

Continuing with Ashley, one of her most emblematic traits is that she’s self-assured and doesn’t care about anything or anyone except for Andrew. This is quite the contrast to Leyley, who is incredibly insecure, selfish and does not care for Andy, only the reassurance he brings. And how do we know Ashley cares about Andrew if Leyley does not? Well…

This flashback is the single most important piece of information we get from the whole chapter. So let’s analyze it from the start. Julia takes Andrew to visit Nina’s grave, bringing back a slew of emotional turmoil he’s still haunted by. He immediately goes home to unpack it with Ashley.

(because god knows he was thinking about her the whole time he was talking to Julia). Ashley shows her first signs of maturity in the conversation that ensues, accurately pointing out the impending doom of Andrew and Julia’s relationship, and being a little more… introspective.

It’s clear that Leyley’s view of relationships is skewed, to say the least. She barely distinguishes romance from platonic love and has a very childish take of sex being "gross and all men want.” I’ve seen many people, before and after this chapter release, theorize that Ashley is asexual, something that’s always bothered me to no end. It’s one thing to just headcanon a character having “x” sexuality for the sake of it, but here people were using a headcanon to explain a critical part of her characterization, one of her Leyley traits. It is reductive and misguided, not to mention a terrible example of what asexuality would actually look like. Because this isn’t an innate characteristic from Ashley, it is a sign of immaturity, and to a certain degree, also insecurity.

Leyley has been conditioned her entire existence to believe she’s loathsome and undesirable, so anyone sticking around would never be out of their own volition. It would have to be a transaction, give and take. If Andy and Leyley marry it would have to be this way, a selfish exchange on both ends. But as she says: “different is fine, sometimes.” This is Ashley talking, taking into consideration Andrew’s needs for once and for all, which is the reason she made a move after he woke up. She understands his needs and is willing to put out for him, thinking maybe it could be good for her too.

But boy does he fumble hard. Which I don’t blame him for, dude wasn’t in the right headspace at the time. Though this is the moment that set Ashley’s development far, far behind square one. She didn’t take the rejection well. For once she was doing what he wanted, and he pushed her away (mixed signals much). He began being very cold to her afterwards (albeit in a fruitless attempt to repress his feelings, which as we see through the puzzle sequences, the more he crushed his feelings on the outside, the further they spread on the inside). The moment Andrew reached out for her again, a year later might I add, he did it because of Ashley, or rather Leyley, needing to be reprimanded and set on the right track (with the massage parlor job).

This sealed the deal for Ashley that the only way to secure Andrew’s attention was the way that Leyley used to do with Andy: bitch and moan until he pays attention. In other words, it’s Andrew’s fault that Ashley is the way she is… though he’s not entirely aware of it, as seen in parts of his pov. And to a certain extent, Ashley also plays a part into why he’s so apprehensive to the idea of liking her. Her childish nature and refusal to grow up is proof to Andrew that if she were to indulge his desires, it would be to keep him around, but it wouldn’t be reciprocal (which is ultimately what he desires the most).

This is my main takeaway from the cliffhanger route. I won’t be theorising much on what the outcomes for this route could be (more on why later), though I will be referencing this heavily for the analysis of Shots and Such.

Also the symbolism in this scene is quite strong (couldn’t fit it into the previous paragraphs but wanted to bring it up anyway).

Her painted nails are trashy, and Julia's nails are painted. Andrew stares in silence as Julia rings away...

Also:

This is after you destroy the Leyley plushie on the wedding cake scene, to retrieve Ashley's choker (which can later be used to create Andrew's partner... which also grants you a star). Originally, the plushies were watching cartoons, but now that Leyley is gone... something else surfaces. Interestingly enough, if you refuse to destroy it when prompted, the narrator will say "what are you, some Andy?" And if you try again after that, it won't allow to you to tear it apart, saying "you've made your choice." Very strong symbolism there. Let's move onto Shots and Such now.

The Absolutely Terrible: the Decay of Andy and Leyley

A terrible, disgusting, horrifying and necessary ending. Necessary to really discern the differences between Andy/Leyley and Andrew/Ashley, plus why the former will ALWAYS be a pointless, troublesome pairing. They hurt, abuse and tear each other down in the most sadistic and depressive ways possible. Long gone are the days of their playful banter, they are now replaced with just plain ol’ spousal abuse. Even when they try reviving their spark with their quick banter about the vacuums, it is soulless and dry, the damage done to their dynamic far too damming to ignore.

They are never honest with each other, and they’re always afraid and resentful of the other. The only thing keeping them together is codependency and lame sex that sometimes distracts them from how miserable they feel. The one sex scene in this chapter reads like a dagger to the heart, because it is everything neither of them wanted to happen. Andrew yearned for something reciprocal, for him to be seen. And as much as he begs and pleads for Ashley to understand, Leyley’s fear of abandonment overtakes her, diminishing the little trust she had for him and respect she had for herself. As a result, they both hated the encounter, and the only two solutions are ending themselves or committing to a life of such misery.

In the splat ending, we indulge Andy’s desires of ending it all, and Leyley reluctantly follows, scared and unsatisfied until the bitter end, but unwilling to let go of her Andy. In the Shots and Such ending, we indulge Leyley’s fantasies of a forever union, which turn out to be anything but the ideals she had for Andy and Leyley’s marriage. It is more of the same old horrific abuse, dishonesty and bickering over nothing, with maybe one glimpse of honesty forced out by the alcohol every once in a blue moon.

No matter the end, they’re both together forever as Andy and Leyley, dragging each other down into the lowest of levels. It’s pointless and bleak, and it certainly sent the fandom into a frenzy. You think the people defending Andrew “I’m normal” Graves or the people saying Ashley “did nothing wrong” were bad? Well, just as this route brought the worst out of the Graves, it also brought out the worst of these fans.

Every time I look into the comments section of a video or discussions for this chapter, it’s a constant shit-flinging contest of who had the worst upbringing, who has the worst personality, who is the most abusive, (which most people seem to be pointing fingers at Ashley for that one). It’s all blah blah blah who’s the woest of the woe. And worst of all, plenty of men (they’re almost always men) saying “Andrew should beat Ashley up some more.” I understand that Ashley’s worst traits as Leyley were amplified in this chapter, but honestly, men who had that takeaway from this chapter disturb me more than the game itself. Heck, even mother-of-the-year Renee calls bullshit on this:

(context: this is a rhetorical question, the answer being no, obviously.)

Let’s get one thing straight: no character here is worse than the other. They’re both awful, they both beat each other, they both abuse each other and they're both victims of each others’ abuse. The tragedy here is that they are as much victims as they are perpetrators, with no end in sight, because the more one hurts the other, the more retaliation ensues. Characterizing one as the worst is, again, completely reductive and overlooking the point of the ending: nothing gets better because neither got better. We only saw Andy and Leyley in this route, with brief glimpses of Andrew and Ashley, that are quickly crushed by their inability to disengage from their toxic habits.

I think it’s clear to see how Ashley is regressing more into her fears (Leyley), given the threat of being murdered by the only person she has left forced her into that state. She doesn’t want to die, she’s terrified of death, and wants the security she believes Andy will bring her back. Except Andy is the one harboring resentment, as Andrew is the one trying to work past it. And to the people who think we’re playing as Andrew and Leyley in this route because “we chose Andrew,” no we’re not. There’s a reason the beginning of both the Andy and Andrew (shots and such) routes look the same in terms of the area we explore in the demon realm.

There’s a reason why he keeps devolving further and further into resentment for Leyley. The “Andrew” choice means nothing if Ashley refuses to stop being Leyley. And her regression is reinstated by the selfish decision to kill Andrew in the bullets ending (and yes, I’m calling it selfish, since it is once again denying Andrew of his need to be rid of the Andy and Leyley dynamic). This reinforces Andrew’s belief that Leyley doesn’t want him, that his love is one-sided, and that she doesn’t care for his needs. The moment this choice (shooting Andrew) is set in stone it’s game over for both, because one can’t heal without the other. Again, nothing gets better because neither can get better.

The only difference between both routes is that when we pick Andy, Andrew surrenders. He’s hurt, battered and confused, but Andy’s instinctual need to please Leyley reigns above all. He knows it won’t get better, he doesn’t know how to make it better, so to hell with it. If we choose to be Andrew, Andrew never surrenders, insisting there must be a way to fix this, but can’t due to Leyley’s insistence. This leads to Andrew's decay, as he devolves into a mixture of Andy’s resentment boiling over and Andrew’s sadism. The logical part of him (which is Andrew’s lingering care for Ashley) tells him to disengage from the fighting. But his resentment (Andy’s decay) is overpowering his love for her. It gets to the point where both Andy and Andrew become undistinguishable, as they have melded to become his most deranged self. Surprisingly, something similar happens with Ashley, who also struggles to surrender in this route. There are two moments of honesty in the Shots and Such route, the only moments we get to see Andrew and Ashley completely. First is Andrew comforting Ashley’s sobs:

Here, Ashley was actually honest with him for once, which allows both of them to open up. This exchange is much more lighthearted compared to the rest of the route because both are meeting each other at the same level, talking through things together, addressing their happiness and where they want to go. Ashley shines through, taking genuine interest in Andrew’s happiness, but before things can settle…

Ashley must face her fears of freeing Andrew, trusting him. And she doesn’t, because let’s remember, we chose Leyley in this route and let Ashley decay. So once again, things go back to how they were, pointless resentment. There was also a time where Andrew opened up, and that’s when he was drunk out of his mind.

He put his front down, enough to indulge in his paraphilia but not enough to fully express his love. The mixed signals are strong with this one, which further confuses Leyley. However, when they go to sleep that night, Andrew opens up about his needs, about needing Ashley to see him for the mess of a man that he is and still accept him. Ashley takes the stage, reassuring him that she knows all his secrets and loves him regardless. Andrew is honest about why he pushes her away, because it’s the last thread of normalcy he has left. However, things quickly go back to normal, when Leyley refuses to give him a kiss due to all the times he pushed her away. At the end of both of these scenes, we hear a sad music box tune, a sad reminder of how crucial these scenes are. How easily things could be fixed with the care and honesty they warrant, and how easily they fall apart out of simple reluctance and conformity.

This is a constant thread we see in their relationship, throughout flashbacks and present time, as well as symbolisms throughout Burial and Decay. The choice to not only trust, but to be honest with one another despite their fears could’ve been the fix they needed all along, the one thing they needed to mature. Their bond is so fragile, so easily twisted, that the only way to salvage any semblance of tenderness is to address their underlying decay. I find it funny how there are still people (few but still some) who were disappointed to see that Decay wouldn’t be the "normal" route. I read a few comments of people wanting their relationship to be fixed and be a normal sibling dynamic. To which I just have to say, that is way more delusional than the people who expected any routes of this game to be all fluff and rainbows.

The relationship was already screwed from the get-go, but here’s the hard pill to swallow: having a normal relationship is not the fix they need nor want. The paraphilia has consumed Andrew so thoroughly that his only solution is to completely wipe his brain or fully indulge in it (possibly the two routes of episode 4), while Ashley has to let go of her selfish, childish desires to recognize the Andrew she wanted has been there all along if she cares to meet him there. Is it an unsavory solution? Yeah. It’s gross, morally and ethically reprehensible. But that’s just who they are as people. And accepting themselves for who they are is ultimately the last ditch effort they could ever take to salvage this volatile, fragile relationship. I mean, this optional dialogue really puts it best:

(This is the single line of dialogue that actually made me tear up btw, not even the splat/shots and such ending tore into me so much as this line).

The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is, at its core, a cautionary tale of generational trauma and the cycle of abuse. How far will people go if pushed to their limits? Is it ever possible to remedy yourself once you’re at the point of no return? And is that remedy worse than the sickness itself? Can the doomed ever be redeemed? And if so, what are the necessary steps to take in order to redeem yourself, before it all goes dark? Andrew and Ashley can keep longing for one another all they want, but until Andy and Leyley are ripped and torn to shreds, neither will improve, and are fated to decay in the coffin of a different apartment, one built out of their own hangups and fears. We’ll see what episode 4 has in store, I trust the author will give us a satisfying conclusion. And speaking of the author…

The Meh: Changes to Episode 2

This new update brought about a couple of changes to the previous episodes as well. Namely, the wording for the decisions that split the story into Burial and Decay, as well as revamping the Burial route. I’ll be honest… I’m not a big fan of some of these.

For starters, this new update made me realize the author, as offline as she appears to be, is keenly aware of people’s opinions of the game and takes quite the contrarian attitude to people who miss the point of the story (something I can’t blame her for entirely, and seems to be the reason why things escalated so much in this chapter). Take for example the Grave Mistakes vision, Andrew explaining why they’re not addressing the Toxisoda thing anymore, and going as far as to add a bloody sprite for Ashley in the Burial route (something a few people were complaining about back in the day). Also, there is an optional dialogue in the highschool flashback that feels like a clapback to the Renee mod:

I’m glad the author is aware of people’s criticisms and takes the time to sort through them, but part of me wishes she didn’t try to over-explain some plot points. The thing that I originally loved about the game was the subtle storytelling, how it takes you a couple of playthroughs to fully understand everything lying beneath the surface. It plays tricks with you and makes you think about the characters’ true intentions, goals and desires, all the way until they spiral out of control and pretenses can’t be kept anymore. I liked that Ashley has a little back and forth between wanting to trust Andrew, being unable to because of her insecurities, and falling back on the trinket. But now…

The choice kinda spells it out for you already. For one, the choice of dialogue feels a bit clunky and also redundant given the next couple of lines confirm this already. The change in the olive branch choice, with it now being reflect/decline, doesn’t bother me as much, but this feels a little too in your face. Same thing with the changes to the Burial vision. I like that you have to put the green plushie back in the cage at the end, as it’s something you also did earlier in the puzzle, so it feels less contradictory. But the change to this line…

It’s honestly giving too much away. People go through the Burial route because they want the siblings to trust each other, and they select the left door for the questionable outcome because they want to make the questionable choice. However that route turns out, whether good or bad, is for us to find out as we play. And mind you, I already know it’s not ending so well given the hex Andrew gets in Burial is the same as in the Decay Andy route. That just cannot be any good. Plus, the fact that Burial is all about burying things under the rug. I suspect that while Decay is more about Andrew due to its reflective nature, Burial will be all about Ashley due to her nature of compartmentalizing. I imagine both Burial and Decay will have their own good and bad routes, but I’d rather not jump the gun into assuming what each will pan out to look like, as chances are I’ll be completely mistaken.

And I say this as a good portion of the fanbase was proven wrong with this new update, in terms of what Decay and Burial are about. The general consensus used to be Burial = romance, Decay = hate. Some fans even came up with the bizarre defense that the game is not so bad because the incest is totally optional! It's on the player to pick it. All the while you have Andrew grabbing Ashley's belt loops and cuddling her on the couch in both routes...

I can appreciate asking people to look at what's beneath the surface and analyze things a little more critically, but that was just plain wrong lol. In the back of my mind, I always hoped that Decay would address some of Andrew's feelings to completely shut down all the "optional" nonsense. Welp, that it did... way more than I anticipated.

Anyway, my point with this last bit of the rant was that I hope these changes don’t become a trend of the author trying to make things clearer for normies or paying any mind to them, as that would only cheapen the storytelling. Those who get the story get it, and if not, they can read people’s shizo analyses online. But I don’t need my hand held throughout the game; I like figuring things out on my own. To wrap things up, I’ll just say I’m very happy with the outcomes we got. They were terrible, but necessary for the reasons explained above. I was originally very scared of the Decay route, as I didn’t know exactly what to expect and angry Andrew scares me. But this has quickly become my favorite episode of all and I can only hope the next ones do it justice. Keep cooking Nemlei, you’re doing good.

#tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #visual novel #andrew graves #ashley graves #hyperanalyzing the shit out of pixels

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selin-aka-puppydogs68-on-tt · 11 days ago

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A HUGE Willtresor analysis— the kiss, my thoughts on their development, why I think their dynamic will change post ep. 120, etc

Oh boy, I fast-passed episode 120 a while ago and this damn ship hasn’t left my mind since 😭

Monty, you really are a loser. Can’t ibuprofen your way out of this one— it’s the end of the line!

The sad reality is Montresor always took Will’s presence as granted; as said before by multiple characters— he always ended up injuring Will in some way, whether it was his feelings or actually just beating the living shit out of him.

Literally any time he purposefully touched Will in episode 119, it hurt Will, even though Montresor was trying to “protect” him, he’s literally the reason Will has blood coming out of his mouth (I’m pretty sure the impact of Montresor hitting Will’s chest when he told him to stay back caused some sort of internal bleeding). And now, he’s panicking; you can tell from the crazed look in his eyes. He’s frantically trying to convince Will to get up but deep down I think he knew there was no hope. He’s more so trying to desperately console himself that he won’t fuck up something again like he always does.

Something’s changed— he’s noticeably more gentle now than he ever was before. Look at the way he holds onto Will’s robe, it’s almost like he’s trying to put it back on, like he’s trying to repair his mistakes.

Behold, Mont-don’t-fucking-touch-me-quit-bootlicking-me-tresor crashing out over the only time Will refuses one of his orders. What’s wrong? I thought you wanted him to stop boot-licking you 😗 bipolar much?

Montresor lashes out at everyone and tbh I think it’s from how he was raised. Ever since he was born he was literally deemed blasphemous. He got a ridiculous amount of attention from everyone around him and was constantly shunned for his actions, so I’m guessing he eventually succumbed to becoming the monster the church claimed he would be. Makes sense, why would he show sympathy towards anyone when nobody bothered showing any to him? But Will was different, he knew growing up that he could never be someone who mattered. NOBODY paid attention to him. I know people will reduce Will’s attraction to stronger men as “omg cute twink!1!” but really, insecure people are drawn towards people who they deem are confident figures that can provide stability to their lives, sort of like an anchor.

Do I think Monty’s actually confident? Lol no. I think both Will and Montresor hate themselves in a way— Will believes his self-worth depends on pleasing others while Monty believes that he’s already far beyond any form of redemption, so he’s kind of embraced being an awful person while Will’s dream is to just improve himself in a way he never could while alive.

Montresor lashes out at everyone because it provides some form of stimulation for him, it makes him feel better about himself— if the church labeled him as a monster, then hell yeah he’s gonna be one and scare the living shit out of them like they did to him. He isn’t sympathetic towards anyone and doesn’t expect anyone to be sympathetic towards him back. Yet here is Will, who STILL stuck with him after being violently beat and impaled twice, dying in his arms. I don’t think Monty can wrap his head around why anyone would do this and for the first time in his life he actually feels guilty for something.

Montresor doesn’t immediately shove Will off of himself, he lets Will grab onto his jacket collar probably because he thinks Will is going to use it to haul himself back onto his feet…except he actually kisses him, much to Montresor’s surprise LMAOOO

I didn’t notice this when I first read the chapter but Montresor puts Will’s robe back on before pushing him away— unlike episode 119, he actually tries not to injure Will further and avoids touching the shoulder with the bite wound; he uses the robe to safely pull Will off him.

He tried fixing him— the robe is on properly now.

The robe falls right off Will’s shoulder again. Montresor’s efforts ended in vain.

If this doesn’t prove the “Montresor never cared about Will” people wrong idk what will. We’ve never seen another circular speech bubble with the scribbly lines (hoarse/about to cry voice?) from Montresor besides maybe the church episode. He definitely didn’t give two shits at the start but now everything’s changed. We went from “you really are good for nothing” to “you did good, Will”. AAAAH!

Not only did Will die, he died doing something Montresor did NOT expect— idk if Montresor has actually even touched a religious text in quite a while since he doesn’t remember how to pray, but homosexuality was possibly discussed in the cult he grew up in. Even though Monty’s canonically an atheist, he literally swears in Jesus’ name when Will kisses him, he has a whole cross necklace under his uniform too; that religious trauma will never leave him, and Will kissing him only further cemented the fact that he is a sinner; the only person who’s actually compatible with him is a man. I also like how it’s fine when he sleeps with a gazillion women but when a man kisses him he starts tweaking— not really historically wrong if you consider that being gay was labeled as a major sin AND a mental issue in both Will and Monty’s respective time periods. Anyways cue closeted bisexual losing it lmao

Annnd I’ve reached the max image count but the scene where Will literally MELTS?? Straight (gay) nightmare fuel for Monty…left all by (bi) himself (“you’re not funny OP!” everyone says in unison while throwing tomatoes at me, yeah okay I’ll stop) Imo Montresor absolutely forgot about those clones, I bet he thought he was truly going insane and hearing Will’s voice in his head…but hey here’s right next to him and…perfectly fine? damn.

Anyways Will reaches for Montresor, but instead of Monty pushing him away, he instead turns the other way and knocks the crutches out of Will’s hand— he doesn’t hurt Will, he hurts himself by rejecting a mobility aid. Also Will just ignoring the huge bloodstain on the wall and floor right next to his slipper??? WTF??? Why the hell didn’t he say anything about it? Also, we’ve never seen other clones bleed like this before. I wonder if this remaining Will is actually a clone, but since he survived and real Will didn’t, he became real Will now, so the OG melted into wax.

In previous chapters while Will is talking to Montresor, he constantly has this crazed look in his eyes. Will’s eyes are greyish-blue but you can’t even tell in most scenes because they look so black and small all the time from him being so nervous while talking to Monty, like the toothbrush scene and also Will suddenly becoming religious out of nowhere and telling Monty he’s gonna pray after seeing that Monty wears a cross, then completely doing a 360 and agreeing when Monty shares his beliefs as an atheist. Will’s big fat crush was so obvious tbh.

Annnd now Monty is the nervous one. We see one of the first scenes where Will’s eyes are normal sized and blue. Personally? I think Will is actually going to grow a backbone this time and realize Montresor didn’t treat him well. Clone or not, a part of Will just died, and it the most sensitive and vulnerable part that had feelings for Montresor.

I feel like they’re going to (somewhat?) flip their dynamic, it’s definitely going to be hella awkward between them since only Monty remembers the kiss (…and also Will’s dead corpse melting into the floor while reeking of blood, but uhhh yk 😅), I feel like Montresor will be more nervous now while Will will gain confidence. Lenore said it herself, Monty is always scared. I want to see what happens without his mask.

Anyways thanks for coming to my deranged willtresor essay (is it obvious I have audhd), keep writing fanfics (no, not the gooner NSFW willtresor AO3 fanfics…I’ve already found multiple…I SEE Y’ALL—) and uhhh stay strong willtresor nation 🤑🙏

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meazalykov · 7 months ago

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the critic

lena oberdorf x commentator!reader

summary: when lena gets tagged in a video clip, she approaches you

before the cameras, before the viral clips, before the edits, before your voice became synonymous with women’s soccer commentary, there was your games itself.

you used to play, back in the day. soccer was your life—practices in the morning, matches on weekends, hours spent refining your craft, the feel of the ball at your feet something almost sacred.

you had dreams, big ones, of playing at the highest level, maybe even for the national team. but that all came crashing down when a spinal injury took you out of the game.

one bad fall, a rough tackle by three players at once in a crucial match, and suddenly, everything you had worked for was gone.

the doctors said you were lucky to be walking and running again, but for a long time, it didn’t feel like luck.

it felt like a curse, like soccer was ripped away from you when you were just starting to get your footing in the world of professional sports.

lyon was close to signing you from your childhood club. however, that changed. the deal had to fail and so did your dream.

so you had to shift gears. you couldn’t play anymore, but you could talk about the game, share your insights, your passion, your love for it with the world.

and, as it turned out, people loved listening to you. your analysis was sharp, your delivery honest, your humor was sweet, and soon enough, you became a well-known voice in women’s soccer commentary.

you poured everything you couldn’t put on the pitch into your work, and it paid off.

now, here you are—2023, world cup, germany vs colombia. the stadium is electric, fans buzzing with anticipation.

it’s your job to capture all of it, to bring the game to life for those watching at home.

alongside you in the commentator’s booth is tyrell, your close friend and co-host for one of the biggest sports streaming sites in the world.

you adjust your headset, eyes scanning the field as the camera pans over the players.

"alright, tyrell, we’ve got quite the matchup today," you say, your voice carrying across the broadcast.

"germany is looking to bounce back after their last game, and colombia has been on fire in their latest matches with caicedo. it’s anyone’s game today."

"no doubt," tyrell agrees.

“but you know i’ve got my eye on germany’s midfield. lena oberdorf, she’s got a lot of weight on her shoulders in this one. one of the best defensive midfielders in the world is on the pitch tonight." he finishes.

you nod, your gaze locking onto oberdorf as she moves across the pitch.

she’s been a standout for years—strong, composed, a true force in the midfield.

you’ve always admired the way she plays, the way she commands respect on the field as she will roughly stop any opponent attack.

but today, something feels off. you’ve been watching her closely during the first half, and you can’t help but feel like she’s holding back.

"honestly," you start, pausing to gather your thoughts, "i expected more from oberdorf during that first half."

there’s a brief silence as tyrell turns to look at you, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

it’s not often that you call out a player like that, especially someone as highly regarded as oberdorf.

"really?" he asks, curious. "what do you think’s going on with her?"

you lean forward slightly, watching as the replay of germany’s midfield play rolls across your monitor.

"she’s not playing with her usual aggression. oberdorf is known for her ability to dominate the midfield, to break up play and transition quickly. but today, she’s been hesitant. this can’t continue if they don’t want someone like caicedo to get in their box. oberdorf needs to press harder, get more involved in the attack. if she steps it up in the second half, she can make the difference that germany needs."

your words hang in the air for a moment before tyrell responds, and the conversation shifts back to the overall match.

but you can’t shake the feeling that your comment will stir something up.

sure enough, by the time the game is over—colombia managing to scrape by with a fantastic win—your phone is buzzing nonstop.

social media is ablaze with the clip of you critiquing oberdorf, the internet having latched onto the rare moment where you offered up something negative about a player you so clearly admired.

fans of both you and lena are eating it up, dissecting your analysis, making memes, and some even suggesting you had ulterior motives.

it doesn’t help that you’ve been vocal in the past about your respect for oberdorf’s game.

and maybe, if you’re being totally honest, there’s more to it than just respect.

you’ve followed her career closely, always a little more interested in her games than others. not that you’d ever admit to having a bit of a crush on her—not publicly, anyway.

across the city, at the team hotel, lena oberdorf is stretched out on her bed, headphones in, trying to decompress after the match.

her body is exhausted, germany didn’t get the result they needed. her phone buzzes with notifications, but she ignores it for now, lost in her thoughts.

that is, until laura freigang walks in, a mischievous grin on her face and her phone in hand.

"lena," she says, her voice sings, "it looks like someone’s got their eye on you."

lena sits up, raising an eyebrow. "what are you talking about?"

laura tosses her phone onto the bed, and lena catches it, her eyes narrowing as she watches the video that’s already queued up.

it’s you, sitting in the commentator’s booth, talking about her. her.

"honestly, i expected more from oberdorf during that first half."

lena blinks, her mind processing the words. she’s used to hearing praise, especially from someone like you, who’s usually more positive in your analysis.

but this? it feels different. not harsh, but… honest. like you know she could do better, and that, in a weird way, feels almost flattering.

"see?" laura says, flopping onto the bed next to her.

"she noticed you. she expects more from you, lena."

lena rolls her eyes, but she can’t hide the faint smile tugging at her lips.

it’s no secret, at least among her teammates, that she’s always found you attractive. she’s mentioned it once or twice—half-joking, half-serious—how she watches your broadcasts not just for the analysis but because, well, you’re easy on the eyes.

but she never thought it would go beyond that. you were based in new york city, worlds away from her, and probably didn’t even know she existed outside of your job.

but now? maybe things have changed.

"i don’t want to get your hopes up because it could’ve been a simple analysis but maybe this is your shot," laura adds, nudging lena with her elbow.

"go for it. what’s the worst that could happen?"

lena hesitates, the idea forming in her mind. it’s bold, sure, but she’s never been one to shy away from taking risks. "yeah… maybe i will."

later that night, you’re sitting in the hotel bar, winding down after a long day of commentary in australia.

the buzz from the viral clip still lingers in the back of your mind, and you’re half-expecting to get some flak for it. but instead, it seems like people are more entertained by the whole thing than anything else.

you take a sip of your drink, eyes scanning the room, when you hear a voice behind you.

"hey y/n-- I'm sorry, uh I hope i’m not interrupting."

you turn, and your breath catches in your throat for just a second. it’s lena oberdorf, standing right in front of you, looking a little nervous but still carrying that air of confidence she always has on the pitch.

how did she find you? maybe the german national team stayed nearby? i mean, you were told this was a popular bar in sydney.

however, why would lena go to a bar if she has to prepare for the important match against south korea?

"not at all," you manage, trying to keep your cool despite the sudden rush of nerves.

"what’s up?"

"i, uh, saw the clip," she says, rubbing the back of her neck. "the one where you talked about me."

you chuckle softly, feeling a slight flush in your cheeks. "yeah… i didn’t mean to come off too harsh. just being honest, you know?"

you didn’t know how to react, so you smile. no player has confronted you about your comments before. this is a first.

"no, i get it," she smiles, her eyes locking onto yours.

"honesty’s good. i just… wanted to ask if you’d like to grab dinner sometime. maybe when you’re in germany next? i’d love to take you out." lena speaks in perfect english.

you blink, surprised by the offer. of all the things you expected tonight, this wasn’t one of them. but looking at her now, her smile genuine and her eyes soft with hope, you can’t help but smile back.

"yeah," you say, heart racing just a little. "i’d like that."

you were a little older than her, older by two years, but she carried herself in a way that pulled you to her.

the world feels a little smaller, the distance between you and lena shrinking with a single conversation.

you think that maybe you should critic her more often, kidding— of course.

my masterlist is here if you want to read more fics <3

#lena oberdorf #lena oberdorf x reader #woso fanfics #woso community #woso x reader #gerwnt #bayern frauen

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fluideli123 · 9 months ago

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I've watched the DP&W movie twice in theaters and three plus times on a pirated site, and I wanted to grant my analysis on Wade and Logan's relationship that not only respects Vanessa--because Vanessa was literally Wade's Soulmate until shit hit the fan and you can pry that fact from my cold dead hands. But also explains how Logan and Wade actually represent a a-spec experience and relationship that I feel like no one has really gotten into. Am I saying they're a-spec? No. But that doesn't mean queer relationships that are fairly normal in a-spec spaces doesn't mean they don't exist outside of them as well.

First of all, the only two reasons I believe Vanessa and Wade broke up was 1) Wade went back in time to save Vanessa and he told her after his usual routine of jokes and lies and 2) Wade finally believed he could be something more, a hero, only to be turned down by the people who are known for their heroism, leaving him lost.

I genuinely believe Vanessa had a hard time taking in that knowledge, but knowing Wade and everything they've been through she would get through that like the badass she is and work through it using her plans A-Z, as she always does. But I think to really stop that woman from continuing to start a family with Wade like she wanted to in Deadpool 2, is if Wade was no longer within the right mindset to do so.

Deadpool 1 introduced Wade as someone who believed he was a bad guy who got paid to fuck up worse guys, he refused the term hero, and the moment he even tried to reach for something selfless. An act that would hopefully spare Vanessa from the pain of cancer, it all got fucked up and he got turned into a monster. Someone he deemed even lesser than he was before. So far gone and completely removed from what he was loved for (his looks and personality, but how could his personality stand alone when he looked so ugly? As ugly as he always felt on the inside?)

So he turned to what he's always known: Tracking people down and making them pay. In his mind this only confirms that he's a monster, he isn't deserving of Vanessa, of anyone. Which is why he finds comfort in Blind Al, a woman who will only have to deal with his personality and not be able to see how ugly he actually is. Symbolism for showing only half of himself and not him in his entirety (not that he can hide it from her, she's too wise, knowledgeable, caring, and knows Wade better than he knows himself at this point.)

Eventually, he finishes his hunt and is still loved despite what had transpired. Vanessa still chose him, still loved him. So maybe despite how ugly he is, he can still be loved. This grounded him, solidified his self worth, have him such stability that he had a thriving relationship with Vanessa that they were SO ready to start a family, aspired to live that dream. Another act of selfishness. Only to, once again, be met by pain. Get his dream taken away, once again resorting to what he knows: revenge.

Wade wants to be a hero? He gets forcefully mutated. Wade wants a family? Vanessa gets killed. Both are immediately solved by death, but that self-loathing and sickening hatred towards himself do nothing to cure that same confirmation he had once thought he got over: That he wasn't a monster, he could be loved, be something else.

So of course Vanessa is who, even in death, looks him in the eyes and tells him he cares, he has always cared. He cares so deeply about the people in his life he meets who unconditionally love him for him as time passes, despite all his flaws.

Wade wants to be a hero? Colossus believes he can be. Wade wants to save the 13-year-old abused kid? Vanessa knows he can. He saves lives by sacrificing himself. He scarified his comfort to show Vanessa the full truth of his ugliness, he sacrificed his life for Russel to give him a better life. Maybe he isn't a complete monster, maybe he can believe again. He can be selfish, he can be reckless. So he goes back and saves more people. Heroes do that. They save the people they love. You don't hold the whole world on your shoulders, no, like Miles learned in ATSV you think of one person of the few people you want to fight against the world to protect. And he did just that.

With Vanessa back and a big family he can finally chase after what he wasn't meant for. Because it's only happened twice, it wouldn't happen again-

Rejection. He can't be a hero because people don't need him. He is the needy one, the one who wants to be needed, needs to be wanted. So, it's the crash. The final straw. He breaks. He breaks so hard because what the fuck is the point to trying if every time he is met with failure? Rejection? Pain? Loss? He becomes so stuck in figuring this all out he neglects his relationship with Vanessa, causing issues. They go separate ways, but still so close, because you don't just lose your best friend like that, even if you're no longer partners. They're always meant to be together one way or another.

So you have this broken man who is searching for purpose, years later still harboring this tiny flicker of hope that he can be greater. He can be great. He can be a hero.

His world is in trouble, he doesn't think twice saving it. He accepts he isn't perfect for this, not like all the big guys back in Avengers headquarters, but he can't let his loved ones die because of someone he's had a vendetta against the last two movies.

He literally fights and fights and fights to find someone to help him, Wade can't save who he loves he has to find someone else you can, anyone else.

Than a broken, desperate man walks into a bar to see another broken man who has since long given up.

The thing about Logan and Wade is that they don't need words. Wade blew himself up in order to die in the second movie, Logan drinks himself away, both knowing they can't die no matter how much they want to. How much they believe they deserve it.

So Wade sees a Wolverine who has potential, who hasn't hurt him (unlike the others, he gets hurt so much, guys) and places his faith in him without hesitation. From that moment on he has never truly doubted Logan's abilities nor his heroism, because he knew his Logan and if his world was anchored by a Logan than all Logan's are built with something he isn't. They're made to be heroes, made to be important. Yeah, they fight, but I strongly believe that's how two broken men say everything words can't possibly describe.

I mean what words could describe the way they go all out on each other, knowing the other can't die, the way Wade looks up at him, not wanting to regrow his entire body because he needs to save his world and understands Logan and has to decide to say something that'll convince him to help. Wade doesn't know if stopping the machine will completely save his world or if a new Logan will patch it up too, it's his own educated wish he passes onto Logan. Because just like Russel, he cares. He understands. He wants to help.

It's that faith, hope, and resistance and face of humor despite it all that causes Logan to stick by that dumb asses side. He lost everything, he is seeing someone like himself before he stumbled home drunk from the bar to find everyone dead. Someone who is capable of doing something he wasn't able to. He wants to help, more and more for Wade and less himself, a silent journey of healing following Wades steps everywhere they stumble into.

Because Logan was just drunk at a bar before being told he was needed to save a world, told he was the worst before being offered help anyone, getting praised over his capabilities, and than told again and again how he is able to be someone he never thought he could be. Much like Wade was and is.

Logan sees it. Wade most likely ignores it, much like anything else. He isn't very open with anyone other than Vanessa as we've learned.

So just- of course Wolverine is the honest one, of course he hits low, he sees himself and Wade and wants to hurt him. Wade wants to hurt him back, but only when he's directly attacked by his words and threats, a way of not taking shit. Logan took shit from the world and than didn't from Wade and his emotional rollercoster right. And I think without whatever happened in that Honda Odyssey things wouldn't have been the same. They needed that fight, that release, that hatred from themselves to burst into the form of someone else who could take it just as much as the other could.

Logan listens to Wade's home at the borderlands. Logan is given kindness and tough love. Logan joins. Logan begins to understand how most linger by Wade's side despite everything. He sees why. He's a force, he doesn't give up, he doesn't quit, not for others. It grants strength, though imperfect and messy.

Logan believes Wade deserves better. So he plans on sacrificing himself only for Wade to once again show how much of a Hero he wants to be and could be. Only for those two idiots to hold hands to madona and come to a mutual understanding and comfort that has Wade making room for Logan in his and Al's apartment.

And there is something so inherently a-spec about not being explicitly sexual with each other, having an understanding that goes beyond direct words and full truths. They they can hurt one another and it feels so good, so wanted and cherished. How they support one another by being fucked up and sloppy. They're wrecks and they help the other heal, do what they're too afraid to do.

What is more a-spec than two people looking at each other with adoration and trust? To be two people who cannot be placed within a single both because their relationship and meaning to one another isn't so neatly cut and within expectations? To love in a way that blood and standing side by side is a comfort? A steadying point in which everything becomes clearer with time?

They make me so fucking sick, they make me so FUCKING SICK.

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baeddel · 7 days ago

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I think your analysis of the issue is overall astute, but I also think it's an important nuance that the maturity of the "MILF" has always been disturbingly relative, and I'm not sure that menopause has actually been that likely of a historic quality of one. Sarah Palin had her last child in 2008, and Lisa Ann was eight years younger than her when she performed in "Who's Nailin Paylin?". Youth as a source of feminine beauty is still valued in the MILF, despite the inherent countersignaling of the concept; while it always would have been disingenuous to present a twenty-something as a MILF simply because she could literally already be a mother, I'm pretty sure the type is most commonly imagined in her thirties or forties, a plausible mother figure for a specifically teen or college-aged assumed audience. A whole disquieting coterie out there of not-actually-that-old guys using the concept of MILFs to come to terms with being attracted to women around their own age.

thank you for your useful thoughts... your point about Lisa Ann performing the older woman is a good one, but i want to temper it with something i observed several years ago and made a post about (click), which was the actor Aaron Brandt, who acted in porn movies for a company called Bacchus Releasing (!), had but ten years between his starring in "18 and Horny" and "Guys of a Certain Age 3". but even by the time he starred in "18 and Horny" he had already been in the adult industry for 11 years. so in pornography, age is malleable. as is name, sex, nationality, even ethnicity... pornography, as in stripping and camming, and even full service, are all forms of performance, and there is more to protrayal than possessing the right sort of body.

now i will insert a warning that a very graphic reply continues beyond this point, incl. discussion of rape and pedophilia

regardless, what you say about these terms being used by men to come to terms with their own attraction is an interesting one and i will think about it... i wonder about the age of the ideal viewer of some of these. "nubile teens" and "barely legal" (Chaturbate politely terms it the '18 & 19 Year Old' category) is a genre one can only picture a filthy old man enjoying; but girls like to put themselves in this category, i believe for more than just marketing reasons. a memory of mine: a girl who has already told me she is really 26, but lists her age as 18, asks me what age i am; when i say 31, she seems to get visibly excited by the age gap that doesn't exist. once begun, it is difficult to extract onesself from the coordinates of the performance. "Suppose you couldn't get back, out of the chaos?" what i mean is this: i don't need to be such a filthy old man to be immersed in the fantasy of the barely legal teen, i need only play my part. i mean, when it comes to my own fantasies, i wouldn't even begin to tell you the things that i'm not...

this is how i explain why in eromanga the characters are all teenagers, yet they are not some kind of dark pedophilic sex manga, but a normal manga. it's because the ideal reader is themselves a teen, even in such cases where the manga could not even be lawfully sold to a teenager (although i know in Japan for a long time eromanga could be sold to children; perhaps it still can be, i'm not sure). we are required to immerse ourselves in the highschool performance, in which we play a fellow highschooler. sometimes the anxieties surrounding this are complex to navigate; in Rance (which is focused on noncon), in the first game, Rance rapes girls as young as 16, but if you have him rape a 14 year old girl you get a judgemental game over. when we played it we said "so that's where you draw the line??", but perhaps this is a line that its ideal player would intuitively understand.

yet even in a game so flagrant as Rance we are a world away from, say, Burroughs' letters to Ginsberg and Kerouac, where he describes the things he paid child sex workers to do in Mexico; things that, in his fiction, he would exclusively write as atrocities committed by horrid space monsters. that is the gulf between rape and noncon; it is the crater left by the 'death of the author', the strange effect which comes over us when we put pen to paper, and set about to write something other than a confession.

anyway. to return to the jpeg porn webrings. what is this suburbia that they created? the nubile teen, the girl next door, the college coed, the milf, the gilf... i was the tender age of twelve when i went and viewed them, and i had never once been to such a suburb, yet i knew how to comprehend what i was seeing. i had seen the trailer for American Pie. i had heard Stacy's Mom. i knew what i was getting into. so each cliche need not appeal to any particular real viewer; he need only know how to perform his part. there are old Newgrounds flash games organized along this basis; you go door to door, engaging in different sex acts with different kinds of women; sleeping with a young, flat chested girl in pigtails, then going next door to have sex with a mature, large breated woman with a blonde perm; upstairs you are tortured by a dominatrix, then go downstairs to inflict sadistic punishment on a submissive. even a game of such artfulness as Degrees of Lewdity has something of the colour of that; the charcuterie town where every type of partner may be tried out (or, in the case of DoL, feared and doggedly fled).

in any case, yes, i'll concede that drawing the line at menopause was fanciful.

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catsvrsdogscatswin · 1 year ago

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I've had this thought swirling in the back of my head for a while, but it's finally congealed enough that I think I can make a coherent pitch, which is: I think RWBY's problems with the more vitriolic part of its fanbase partially stems from the fact that RWBY is a deconstruction that doesn't advertise it's a deconstruction.

RWBY's status as a deconstruction is pretty textbook. It takes apart standard fantasy, shounen, and anime tropes in order to analyze them and their deeper meaning and then reassembles them in new and interesting ways for the plot/characters/series. Thing is, it never says that outright in promotional material, which can lead to later outrage in fans.

See, unless their way of discovering new shows is to close their eyes and stab their finger at random, most people tend to choose series to watch/read based on expectations. Maybe a friend said they'll like it because it has [insert thing], maybe they read the summary and were intrigued, maybe they thought the poster/cover art was cool, whatever. These small pieces of information are generally enough for people to make a snap-judgment of the style and genre of the series, which they can then gauge against their personal tastes and decide whether or not they want to try.

Most of the time, this works just fine. Well-written deconstructions also generally give the viewers some warning/buildup before they take a hard swerve. See Madoka Magica: the magical girl paradigm is shaded by the possibility of death as soon as we're introduced to it, then there's an onscreen death with blood, and then a few episodes later we eventually realize the Faustian bargain of it all. Even innocent viewers who stumbled into watching it, unaware of the show's reputation, would go "Oh, wait, this is not going in the direction magical girl shows usually go" by a third of the way through.

The thing is, with RWBY, this does not happen unless you're paying a lot of attention and/or looking for it. And neither the cover art nor the summary nor, I believe, the fanbase gives a lot of warning about the swerves ahead.

In fact, RWBY initially bills itself as a pretty standard shounen anime. The main protagonist is hinted to have Special Powers and gets into the Magic Monster-Hunting School in the first episode, and the first two-and-a-half seasons are taken up by her and her friends' superhero-esque slice-of-life shenanigans as they thwart robberies and terrorist attacks and gear up for a tournament arc against the looming background of a larger conspiracy.

Then in the last half of the third season the villains' entire Rube Goldberg machine of a scheme snaps into completion and the plot twists so hard the entire genre takes a hard right. If you're used to character analysis and common anime tropes, this is not completely a surprise -up until this point, RWBY's character arcs and plot have been subtly traveling in non-traditional directions that hint of greater flexibility in genre treatment ahead- but if you're not... well.

Thing is, people watching RWBY up until this point have signed up for pretty standard shounen and they've been getting it, but the third season's ending smashes that all to bits. From then on out in RWBY, it's like they ordered fries and suddenly got a hamburger. It might be delicious; but it's not what they asked for, what they wanted, or what they paid for, and they are, justifiably, displeased.

So when the reasonable people either adjusted their expectations or sighed, shook their heads, and clicked back out (perhaps with a grumble and a scowl), the unreasonable people dug their heels in and began insisting that everybody was Getting The Show/Character Wrong and that CRWBY is ruining it, because the fact that RWBY's method of deconstruction is to put standard tropes in a blender and then arrange what's left in deceptive patterns means that said unreasonable viewers can scan the bare surface and argue that all the stereotypical stuff is clearly still under there, somewhere.

So they're continually trying to drag RWBY back to the tracks of a typical shounen anime series (it's closest relative), which creates a dissonance between the show they're watching and the show they think they're watching. They're trying to turn the hamburger back into fries, basically, except that doesn't work and just frustrates everyone involved, because you're trying to make RWBY into something that it's not. Hence, this attitude probably starting/fueling some of the more contentious statements in the fandom, i.e.:

"Ironwood was right the whole time" (in most action movies and shounen anime, allied military leaders are trustworthy beyond reproach)

"Adam's character was wasted" (we all know how much shounen loves their powerful warrior antiheroes)

"Ruby and the others are in the wrong about [insert thing]/or for doing [insert thing], and this is bad writing!" (shounen protagonists don't usually make more than One Very Big Mistake over the course of their entire careers, which is usually fixed/overcome/redeemed via an appropriately rigorous training arc)

And to be clear, there's nothing wrong with shounen tropes or shounen anime. They're wonderful storytelling devices in their own way and their own time: but if you want standard by-the-book shounen without any new and interesting concoctions, then RWBY is definitely not the show for you. And most people don't find that out until it's too late.

#RWBY #fandom #wonder how much hate I'm going to get for this one #ho-hum #Getting frustrated when a show doesn't perform to your expectations is normal and natural but that's no reason to be a dick about it

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theheartmold · 2 months ago

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The Wigmaker Job (Final)

Notes and Thoughts - Part 7

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4 | pt5 |pt6 | pt7

This is my final installment in my attempt to organize my thoughts nearly line-by-line as I go through and analyze the relationship between Lucanis and Illario. These are my personal opinions and I'm open to discussion about any points I present here. DISCLAIMER: These posts I'm doing are my own analyses and are done with the intentional eye to examine the relationship between Lucanis and Illario. I try to source all my assertions from what the text is giving me. This is not Lucanis critical nor should it be taken as such.

this is going to be a longer post because I'm going to try to cover the last of everything at once. also as my disclaimer says I'm really in this for the relationship analysis which means I'm going to be breezing over a lot of this final fight with Ambrose. okay all of my caveats out of the way lets dive in

Lucanis felt no sympathy. They were, all of them, Venatori supporters, who either knew what Ambrose was doing or chose to turn a blind eye to indulge their own vanity. Ignorance is bliss, not innocence.

hm. okay hang on this is a doozy right off the bat in terms of Lucanis's subjective experience and opinions re: the Venatori when we remember that he is an assassin. a professional who kills people for money. Does Lucanis remember that? or does he think himself better because he's walking into this eyes wide open? so fucking chewy love this.

we can discuss it a little more when we skip down into the scene to where Lucanis and Ambrose are actually exchanging dialogue. wheeeee

"Normally, there's no judgment—only a contract. But for you, Ambrose, I made an exception." The Wigmaker raised a brow. "Oh? What makes me so special?" "You upset my delicate sensibilities." It was Ambrose's turn to laugh. "I thought a Crow could stomach anything—for the right price." Lucanis leveled the Wigmaker with a pointed look. "Not red lyrium." "Morality is not static. Right and wrong are a matter of perspective."

This interaction, to me, is the thesis of Lucanis's character. We can go line by line and pick apart what each one means to get everyone thinking. Come on guys come with meeeeee!

Line 1: Illario has been referring to the contract throughout this entire short story and it's been a point I've hammered in at pretty much every turn: Lucanis is not thinking like an assassin. He's letting his emotions, his morality, take precedence over the job.

Line 2: well. i actually don't have so much to say about what Ambrose says here but it is a good question. what DOES raise Lucanis's hackles so much as to cause a CROW to change their modus operandi?

Line 3: Lucanis is deflecting with a bit of humor here. He's not above the same dry wit that Illario is prone to, though his is usually more internal throughout the story expressed through his narration.

Line 4: Ambrose brings up the same point—they are PAID, HIRED KILLERS. paid money to kill. What about a trained killer implies that they'd blanch at anything? They certainly have a reputation to uphold.

Line 5: I had to go back to look at the red lyrium mention earlier in the story. Quick refresher—Ambrose was using red lyrium to keep his victims drugged and subdued and demon fodder pretty much lol. But Lucanis wasn't necessarily appalled at the use of red lyrium—not like he's been consistently appalled and horrified on behalf of the victims and slaves that fall under Ambrose's shadow. It also makes the previous lack of sympathy to those being killed by the demons interesting—guilty and not worthy of Lucanis's sympathy + vengeance by association, even though Ambrose tramples right over his guests and kills them, too.

Line 6: THIS. It's an excellent point to make to Lucanis specifically; morality is not static. Right and wrong are a matter of perspective. Sure, it means nothing to most people coming from the guy summoning demons and drugging people with red lyrium and killing them. But… let's just compare Lucanis and Illario? The "right" thing to do was different for them—the "right" thing in Illario's eyes was to finish the contract and leave. But the "right" thing to Lucanis—well, it was to get vengeance, pass judgment. Is it not so subjective? Lucanis says that the party guests deserve to die. Someone else might not.

Nothing irritated him more than self-righteous excuses. If you're going to do something terrible, just own it.

I'm really so obsessed with Lucanis and his mentality. Right here I just circled and scribbled the words "you're an assassin" but I suppose the point I wanted to make was that self-righteous excuses could be applied to him too? was that not what he was doing when he was changing up his plans on Illario to get vengeance and free the slaves? If you're going to do something noble, just own it.

You could argue that he did own it, but he just couched it behind the red lyrium excuse.

Hopelessness flooded the mage's eyes. "One day, someone will turn your work against you. Only then will you have some semblance of the emptiness you've made me feel."

I think this is the one good point I gave to Veilguard re: the Lucanis and Illario story-line because I did feel like this was interesting foreshadowing.

Fight ensues. Nothing really more interesting there that I want to dig into? Honorable mention to him talking to the abominations at the end, I guess; "you have your vengeance". Interesting. I don't think all of these abominations are victims, some of them are the high-blood mages that were there at the party, because he mentioned it earlier? Hmm. Thoughts to consider!

Immediately skipping past looking for Illario on their ship to check the CLEANEST TAVERN on the docks. And he's right. really fucking funny that did get me lmfao.

"get that man to stop yelling at me" ← see Illario's skills are useful!!! ok now we're about to get into the meat of the Lucanis&Illario dynamic that everyone loves to reference (even me)

"Yes, yes. I did my good deed for the year." ← Illario does keep his word! Just like Lucanis said.

The back and forth about the wine and bribery does something to me. "I think it makes it taste all the sweeter" from Illario versus Lucanis drinking it and saying that bribery hadn't spoiled the bottle. Obviously it's just saying that it isn't bribed? Or at least that Lucanis doesn't think— it means nothing I think I'm reading into this passage too much

Camille didn't make it and Illario is unfazed; "ah, well, frees me from promises I didn't intend to keep". sorry he's so fucking funny. Interesting that Lucanis chooses to tell him this? Does he think Illario was serious about the flirting? Does he feel bad about her death? Lucanis knew her NAME. Illario had to be reminded by referring to her as the guard-captain.

Illario offers to get a healer for the blood and Lucanis stubbornly refuses. Here we go everyone.

"All right," Illario said, topping off his glass. "We'll just pretend that's wine you're dripping all over the table." "What do you want me to say?" Illario's gaze grew hard. "How long are you going to keep doing this?" "Doing what?" "Caterina's bidding."

Obviously I don't think that Lucanis is thinking—or really wants to think—about how this ends, while Illario understands the game, the politics, the fact that Lucanis is passively letting this happen, and that Lucanis is continiously justifying Caterina's controll.

The wine turned in Lucanis's mouth. "Illario. Stop." "If I was in charge, you wouldn't have to do this anymore," he cajoled. "You could quit."

The main reason why I didn't write this out as an essay was because the very unsatisfying thesis is that you have to decide for yourself whether you think the writing from WMJ is consistent across The Wake & Veilguard. There's no indication from the narrator or from Lucanis whether Illario is being genuine here or not.

But I'm operating on the good faith that he is. Lucanis could quit! He's making an offer. Lucanis wants him to stop bringing Caterina into it, stop thinking ahead, stop making HIM think about where this road leads.

Lucanis stared at his cousin. "I don't want to quit." Illario sat back. The distance between them suddenly felt much wider than a table. "Even if it kills you," Illario whispered.

I actually don't think this was an indictment on Lucanis but an observation that Illario was making. He's not going to quit—even if it's going to kill him. I'm not sure those words were necessarily intended for Lucanis even if he heard them. My opinion though.

"Death is my calling," Lucanis stated, matter-of-fact. "Just as yours is to become First Talon."

I can go either way on this one. Lucanis is either saying that he wants to remain as a mere assasin who doles out death—or truly wants to die trying to avoid Caterina's placement of him as First Talon.

He clearly sees Illario as the one more suited for the task, but he won't tell Caterina that. His refusal to tell her 'no' is justified by how she raised them but it is crazy, man…

He smiled, hoping to ease the tension, but Illario's posture remained taut. "And if Caterina disagrees? If she thinks you're the better man for the job—" "I don't want it, Illario," Lucanis insisted. "But you wouldn't refuse."

Illario already knows that Caterina prefers Lucanis; they discussed this at the beginning. Everyone knows. Even Lucanis.

Lucanis finally answers Illario's question from that early scene! He doesn't want the job! But, no. He won't tell Caterina no, which is the real money question here. He's stuck and can't actually offer a solution to satisfy Illario—in fact, he offers no real solution at all.

"It's impossible to refuse Caterina," Lucanis admitted reluctantly. "Only prolong her, until she sees reason." He knew it wasn't the answer Illario wanted, but it was the truth. And in their line of work, honesty was hard to come by. Illario exhaled and lifted his wineglass in salute. "To reason, then." "To reason," Lucanis echoed."

To reason. [OUGH] I don't have a lot to add to this specific passage that I haven't already covered i just wrote "augh AUGH AUAUUUGHGHGH" all over my paper at this point. To reason! I'd argue Illario's crashout was justified but perhaps not reason. I see his reasoning.

Caterina was never going to see their reasoning. Only her reason matters. Why should she see reason? She has the way of it.

One last thing I want to cover before we part ways, lovelies. Although I will be making my Wake analysis later but that'll just be one long post lol.

Zara paused to marvel at herself. Every feature and proportion were in perfect symmetry. And yet, when she smiled, there was something ugly behind it.

Echoes Illario's description at the start of this story.

Quotes are either paraphrased or taken directly from The Wigmaker Job, written by Courtney Woods.

#dragon age #dragon age analysis #dragon age meta #tevinter nights #the wigmaker job #my analysis #long post #illario dellamorte #lucanis dellamorte #caterina dellamorte #house dellamorte (meta)

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m-artemisa-c · 1 year ago

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Lucky night

Pairing: Lando Norris x f!reader

This is an (18+) story which means if you are a minor, you are not allowed to interact.

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So this is the first time Im posting something, I was little bored and decided to write one of my many sex fantasies haha english is not my first language so sorry in advance for the grammar errors etc....i don't know if anyone would read this but if you do I hope you enjoy it <3

“Can you please send me the quotations we received today? I already asked you this twice, please focus more on your duties!” – I heard Derek, my manager from the other side of the corridor... what an ass...

The truth is that I’ve been out of my mind for a while, unable to focus on any task. It’s been overwhelming, I must say, a new job, new apartment, new people, and a new city to discover or that’s what I thought. It looks like Monaco is as small as my little hometown, it took me only a week to “discover” my new home. Impressive? Yes, I would never imagine being here, but I’m not sure I’m going to fit in with all these petulant and fancy people. Everyone seems like some kind of famous shitty person.

“Do I have to send you a reminder? Or are you going to do the job you are being paid to do? “ – It looks like being a needy asshole is a required skill if you want to be a manager – “I just sent them to you, I also attached the price analysis I made for these suppliers”

For the last 8 years, I worked for an automotive company, it was my first job when I graduated from business school. I started as a trainee for the quality staff and after a year the logistics supervisor asked me if I was interested in joining his team, after some years I got promoted to the sales area.

I was happy and grateful for the job I had; I'd make enough money to pay my rent and to provide my cat Murphy with all the toys and food he needed to be happy. My life was good or that’s what I thought.

“There is nothing attached to the mail you sent…” – Derek screamed from his office - “Fuck! You need to stop now “- I screamed to myself.

“Is everything ok with you? I know you just moved here two weeks ago” – I turned my face and saw my coworker Mike approaching me from his desk – “Ohhh... I’m..Yes, I’m ok thanks. I’m still getting used to my new life haha “ - I responded awkwardly, I turned my face again to my computer screen making sure to attach the files this time and send the email... again. I’ve only been working here for one week and Derek already thinks I’m retarded.

“Do you have plans for later? We can go for a drink or two” – I turned my face to Mike – “Ammm .. I...mm sure, why not? Having some drinks sounds like a plan to me “ – I reply with a smile on my face – “Nice! So, you tell me when you are done with work, and we will leave. I know a nice restaurant with a stunning view. I’m sure you will love It” – he said as he headed back to his desk.

One of the main reasons I accepted this job was because I felt something was missing in my life. And when I say “something” I mean sex...sweaty, passionate, and unholy sex. It’s been 5 years since the last time I had slept with somebody... a guy I met on Tinder... a total disaster. And after that, I decided I had enough shitty sex and I spoiled myself... I bought my first sex toy. I named him Timmy because I have a crush on Timothée Chalamet, so since Timmy arrived, I’ve been a happy woman with plenty of orgasms.

I love Timmy? Yes! no doubt about that, I would never imagine I was able cum so many times in one night, but I cannot deny I want to feel the heat of a dicks men while he is drilling my pussy, I want to feel how his tongue travel all over my body and praise me for being a good girl because I ride him all night.

It might sound kind of pathetic that a “grown woman” like me wants to be called a “good girl” but let’s be honest, being 30 is a nice age... That’s what I say to myself when I feel like I’m too old to try to flirt with men or go out. What a disaster! When I was 23, I was way bolder than now, I remember how I used to enter the clubs, knowing exactly which guy I wanted. The flirting game was so fun. Guys trying to get closer to me and dance while they ground their bodies with my ass, grabbing me by the waist and caressing my skin, saying sweet lies to my ear ... good days ...

“So, are we ready?” – Mike’s voice snapped my thoughts. I looked at my clock and realized I spent 2 hours thinking about my younger years... a nice way to show Derek I’m not retarded – “Uhhh...I just need to send some emails. I will see you in the lobby if that’s ok with you “- Mike nods his head with a smile while he heads to the elevators.

Maybe tonight is my lucky night, maybe instead of daydreaming about my younger years I need to lose control and show Mike the whore inside of me... – “We need to schedule a meeting with the coil supplier for next Monday and I need to know the amount we have been paying to our broker for these operations. That’s all for today, I expect you to be ready for the meeting “ – my manager said with an annoyed look before leaving my desk. God I need Timmy right now, maybe I can bring him with me and lock myself in the bathroom when I feel angry. I set up the meetings and headed to the elevators to meet Mike.

While waiting for the elevators I couldn’t stop thinking about Mike and my lucky night. I know I said I was a flirty master when I was younger but now? Hahaha I am a complete loser, I don’t know how to talk with men. How am I going to seduce Mike? He is way more attractive than me, a good-looking man. If I had to guess I would say he is 35, has a nice body, and a charming smile... “Over here!” - Mike raised his hand and I greeted him with a smile – “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind waiting for me “– I said - “It was only 15 minutes don’t worry. My car is over here “– he put his hand on my back – “Do you seriously drive to the office?” – I looked at him with a surprised face – “Well yes, don’t you?” – he replied – “No haha it's only a 20 min walk from my apartment to the office. I like to walk. It's a nice way to start the day” – it's true, walking is nice, and it feels stupid to drive such a short distance...this is what I mean when I say I’m not sure I’m going to fit here.

We arrived at a nice luxurious restaurant. This is not what I had in mind when Mike said we would go out for drinks, but the view was amazing, just like he promised. Don’t ramble! Remember your lucky night, Mike wouldn’t suggest drinks if he wasn’t attracted to me in some way, right? There is only one reason a man would suggest drinks... Maybe I need some alcohol so I can let myself lose and have fun ... – “Bonjour, je voudrais commander quelque chose à boire? “– the waitress asked and all I could do was look at Mike with a confused look- “He asked if you wanted something to drink “– Mike said with a childish smile – “Oh! Tequila for me please “ – I said as I looked at the waitress- “How come you moved to a city and don’t speak the language?” – Mike asked with an intriguing look – “Ummm well, I didn’t know I was moving until I had to move here haha It was kind of messy, at first the job offer was to be the intermediary between the company and the suppliers. No need for relocation, just weekly meetings but then I got a better offer due to my experience so here I am, completely lost. I’m going to learn how to speak French, people here are kinda pissed if you speak in English all the time ...Maybe you can teach me “– I suggested with a flirty look... or at least that was what I thought I was doing – “Sure! I moved here 3 years ago so I can teach you some basic sentences haha”

Drinks finally arrived and after 1 hour I could feel how tequila was making me forget about my insecurities, now was the time to suggest Mike take me home and maybe invite him another drink. Wait, I need to change my underwear into a nice set of lingerie... Do I even have lingerie? The last time I remember I bought sexy underwear was when I was dating my ex-boyfriend from university, well maybe I can improvise with some thong and a nice bra.

Alcohol and overthinking don’t get along, take note! While I was deep in my thoughts, I ignored what my new friend Mike said – “Ready to go?” – Mike asked –” Go where?” – I said intrigued – “To my place “- he gave me a confused look -” I asked if you wanted to have some drinks at my apartment. Did you change your mind? “– oh shit... it is happening. Finally, my lucky night is happening – “Sorry, I just feel a little tipsy from the alcohol haha let’s go!”

The drive to Mike’s apartment was fun, he was talking about his favorite spots in Monaco and I was completely lost daydreaming about all the sex I was going to get, while adjusting to my seat I felt how wet my pussy was. My god, I'm so nervous, do I have to make the first move? or should I just let him take control of the situation?

“Babe! I’m so glad you are finally here! “– a beautiful woman said as she came close to Mike and kissed him – “I'm sorry to be late sweetie, we had a couple of drinks before work. I want to introduce you to my new coworker; she moved here two weeks ago, and I thought it would be nice to invite her to our open house so she can meet new people. This is Florence, my girlfriend, she’s from Monaco, she can help you with anything you need. Right, babe? “– I was in shock; all I could do was smile stupidly - “Bienvenue à Monaco ma chère! It's a pleasure to meet you. Mike told me you were having a tough time adjusting here. I'm so glad he suggested this, and as he said I’m here to help you if you need something “– Florence said as she smiled at me.

What was I thinking? Of course, he is not attracted to me at all, he was only trying to be nice with the new coworker - “Can I offer you a drink? What would you like? We have wine, gin , tequila” - Florence asked me - “Mmm I'm already a little drunk so a glass of water would be nice. I mmm where is the bathroom? “-

As I head to the bathroom I regret every choice I made for the last month. This was a mistake, everything was a mistake, what was I thinking? I don't belong here, I can quit my job and go back home. My boss hates me and I just embarrassed myself with the only “friend” I made. As I wash my face I decide that it would be better if I just go home.

“Hey … mmm …I … am sorry but I don't feel well, I guess I'm not used to drinking alcohol anymore haha I should leave now before I make something I regret” - I said -” Wait what ? When I told you about the party you said you would love to come, what happened?” - Mike asked - “Yeah yeah , I was excited about it but you know I forgot to feed my cat in the morning, he must be starving now. I need to go. Sorry” - I said as I grabbed my purse - “Do you want me to drive you home? It's more than a 20 min walk to the office from here “- Mike said jokingly - “No no , don't worry you have guests coming soon, you must be here. I will order an uber. I will see you on Monday and it was a pleasure to meet you Florence. You have a wonderful apartment, maybe I can visit both again when I'm not drunk”- I said awkwardly as I opened the door.

Once I was alone in the corridor I realized how pathetic I was. I've always found a peculiar way to expose myself to awkward situations but haha this one is definitely in the top three. Maybe Derek is right and I'm kind of retarded. Fuck! the things I do to get laid, thinking about my sex fantasies is making me lose all my concentration. Maybe I can ask Florence to introduce me to some friends I can - “For fucks sake, get out the way” - I heard someone screaming at me - “Excuse me.. what did you say?” - I asked as I turned my body to face the rude voice - “Wow, are you deaf? I've been here asking you to move so I can get to the elevator “- another spoiled rich guy, what a surprise. This is it, I'm going back home - “I'm sorry but that's not the way you should talk to people, you never know what is going on with others. Maybe you can be more polite “- I said as I rolled my eyes - “I was polite the first three times I asked you to move so don't try to turn it to me, you are the one who should be apologizing” - Oh god, I want to punch his face so badly - “Yeah, whatever you said Junior, why don't you go back to your daddy's apartment and cry with him “- I said as I begged for the doors to open- “Watch out! A little bitch over here! “- the guy jokes as the doors open and we both enter …why me...- “You know, there is no valid reason for you to act like this. What is your problem? Your boyfriend doesn't fuck you enough?” - He said with a smirk on his face. Why are attractive guys such jerks? I look down as I wait to get to the lobby - “Yeah, that's what I thought, you are frigid don't you? I bet men don´t even enjoy your company, you look like a boring woman, now I understand why you are such a bitch”

It was all too much, the alcohol, the disappointment, and this spoiled guy. I tried to ignore him but his last words were like a stab in my heart… he was right, men don't enjoy my company, I turned into a boring woman with no sexual appeal, and then I exploded - “You know what? You are right! I'm a boring woman, I'm all dried up, there’s no joy in my life anymore. Men don't enjoy my company even if I try to seduce him” - I was crying and yelling at him - “I haven't been fucked in almost a decade ” - the guy was completely in shock, you could tell by the way he opened his eyes.He was regretting saying those things - “you can say all you want about me being a bitch but it's not my fault. If men knew how to give a proper fuck I wouldn't be here…trying my best to be flirty - silence filled the elevator as I realized what I was doing -”…sharing personal information with a stranger and embarrasing myself …fuck”- oh god, this day is getting worse I think I'm going to lose my mind. Yes this guy is a jerk but I'm being mental over here. I need to calm down - “look I'm sorry” - I said as I wiped my tears- “it's not a good day “

I buried my face in my hands pretending I was back home when I felt the elevator stop. I looked at the guy and he was pressing the red stop button - “What the hell are you do…” - was all I could say. In a matter of seconds, I felt a warm tongue deep inside my mouth while a strong pair of hands grabbed my face, cornering my body between the wall. The kiss was so passionate I could barely breathe, his tongue was exploring my mouth like crazy, suddenly this rich spoiled guy sucked my lower lip making me moan from the pleasure. When I opened my eyes all I could see was a pair of eyes looking into my soul, wonderful blue eyes that made me feel so vulnerable yet excited and horny. His fresh breath was on my face and we stayed like this for what it feels like an eternity. I was completely mesmerized by this guy.

He ran his thumb over my lower lip, just where he sucked it and I saw how he smirked. His other hand moved to grab one of my boobs- “You are a wonderful woman” - he said as he caressed my breast over my blouse. I let out a soft moan - “And most important, you are not dried up “- he said as he kissed my neck - “I bet I can make your delicious pussy soak all over me” - I felt his thigh between my legs, just where my clit was. The friction was pure pleasure to my soul and I let a loud moan escape my mouth as I grabbed his strong bicep - “Come on, let yourself enjoy this' ' - he said as he kept kissing my neck. I was in heaven, he was kissing me just where I wanted. It was like he knew my body and how to touch me, I let myself lose and grind harder on his tight - “Oh my g.... mmmm…yesss” - I moaned as my head fell back giving him more access to kiss my neck. I could feel his smile on my throat as I kept moaning from the pleasure - “Fuck!” - he muttered in my ear - “I can already feel your wetness” - he said as both of his hands grabbed my waist guiding my movements - “Open your eyes, look at me. I want to see how much you are enjoying this” - he commanded as I was on the edge of pleasure, unable to react to his instructions.I kept grinding harder on his thigh with my eyes closed enjoying the pleasure and chasing my orgasm. I could feel it coming, my legs were shaking and I was babbling nonsense words and moans, and suddenly it stopped. I opened my eyes with an angry look - “Why …mm. noo … I was so clos..”- I felt how he turned my body to face my reflection on the mirror wall. One of his hands grabbed my throat while the other slid down to my pussy. - “Open your eyes, sweetie. I want you to see how pretty you look when you moan” - his hand was teasing my pussy over my jeans - “Mmmmm yeesss” - I moaned as I leaned my head back to his chest - “No no “- he said as he guided my head back so I could see myself again - “I told you I want you to see yourself “ - he said as he gently rubbed my pussy - “Do you like what you see? Fuck you look so sexy, I can see how bad you want it” - I nodded frenetically - “ Yess please, I want it, please please don't stop this time” - I saw how he smirked proudly - “Mmmm such a good girl for me. Do you want me to touch you? Feel the heat of your soaking pretty pussy?” - What a jerk, he is making me beg for it … it's worth it…be a whore for him -” Yess! Touch me and make me cum”.

I felt how his hand unbuttoned my jeans and slid into my underwear just where I needed him. Fuck ! I could hear how wet I was, sticky noises filled the elevator as he opened my folds, his long fingers were traveling all over my dripping pussy to my clit and teasing my hole. I watched the obscene scene from the mirror wall, this cute guy was driving me crazy. I felt a wave of confidence and I started to grind my body against him, I felt his hard cock against my ass, his big, hard, and delicious cock. Our bodies were like matching pieces from a puzzle, perfectly moving while we enjoyed the friction.

I grabbed his neck to increase the pressure and in a violent move, he ripped the buttons of my blouse. With no hesitation, he moved my bra exposing my bare chest to him - “Mhmmmm…you have a pair of delicious nipples over here” - He said as he cupped one of my boobs, my nipples were hard and aching for more - “Come on, cum for me pretty girl” - he commanded - “Ahh..yes.. please..mmm.. keep… keep going... I just …mmm… kiss me “ I felt his warm tongue in my mouth once again. I was moaning against his mouth as he violently abused my clit making my legs shake from pleasure. He kept rubbing my soaking pussy and without a warning I felt an amazing jolt all over my body -” Fuuck yes! Yess cum all over my fingers!” - I heard as I felt my soul leave my body, I was shaking like crazy.

It took me a while to recover from the amazing orgasm, I was unable to stand by myself, luckily a pair of strong arms were helping me. Once my brain was ready I opened my eyes, I saw how this spoiled rich guy was licking his fingers covered with my cum. Fuck, he is so hot! I look at my reflection in the mirror and smile to myself. Sweat was coming down my forehead, my face was red, my nipples were hard and you could easily see how I still had goosebumps - “You taste like heaven” - I heard from behind. I gave him a shy smile as I tried to fix myself but he stopped me. I faced him and he grabbed my face between his hands - “I'm sorry for being a jerk” he kissed me once again, a soft and gentle kiss - “And as i said…You are not dried up sweetie” - he said as he put one lock of hair behind my ear -”If that thought crosses your mind again I will gladly remind you how wet i can make you” - I instantly blush as I bite my lower lip, I tried to cover my chest with my ripped blouse - “Fuck, I'm sorry for this too”- he gave me a childish smile - “Why don't you come over my place? I will give you a shirt …”

Maybe being here can be an exciting adventure after all, maybe Monaco isn't as bad as I thought. “Im Lando by the way, please accept my offer…You can apologize for being a bitch…”

#lando norris smut #lando norris x you #f1 fanfic #lando norris fanfic #lando norris #f1 smut #smut #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando x reader #lando smut

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ofteacupsandclocks · 3 months ago

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I think Hannibal is a show all about transformations and becoming. And throughout the show the characters that transformed, that changed, that evolved and adapted survived. And the characters that didn’t change died/got badly hurt. To break it down:

Will is the most obvious. He started off wearing a neatly tailored person suit and attempting to be normal. Throughout the show he accepts his real self and takes off his person suit. And he survives. (I don’t believe Hannibal and Will died when they fell off that cliff but I already made a post about that and I don’t wanna repeat myself)

Next up Hannibal - it’s a little more subtle but still pretty obvious. He finally met an equal, a friend. He fell in love and for the first time in a long time he was ready to give up everything for another person. He literally went to jail when Will rejected him even though freedom is one of the things he values most. He also survived.

Alana - she is probably the character that changed most. She went from pretty much the walking moral compass of the lot to somebody willing to throw others under the bus (e.g. chilton when dealing with the great red dragon). And by the end of the show she is also alive.

Margot - went from being afraid of her brother, lost and alone to having a family and love and finally being able to kill her brother. Also stays alive and well.

Jack - now he is way more subtle than the rest because his transformation was mostly internal. But I do think he changed. At the start of the show he was very defensive about how he is using Will to solve crimes. He wouldn’t admit to anyone, not even himself that he is putting Will in danger. By the end however in one of his final scenes with Hannibal he is almost directly admitting he views Will as a means to an end. Also stays alive.

Now for some characters who didn’t change:

Chilton - he was an arrogant prick and stayed an arrogant prick. Throughout the show his main motivator seemed to be arrogance and jealousy of other’s success. He was hungry for fame and that hunger is what drove him to be maybe not killed but very seriously injured by the end of the show.

Bedelia - she seemed to be someone who always attempts to manipulate the situation to their benefit. She seemed to be driven by the idea that she isn’t like the others. She thinks she is smarter, cleverer, better, that she’s special. She thought she could get close to Hannibal with no negative consequences. She thought she could dance with fire and escape unburned. Well she paid for that.

Mason - he started off a sadist and he ended his life a sadist. If he hadn’t wanted to torture Will and Hannibal and killed them as soon as he got his hands on them he would be very much alive. Alas he is not.

The one character who doesn’t fully fit this framework is Freddy Lounds: from the beginning to the end she was a journalist hungry for fame and fortune seeking a good story. The reason I think she managed to escape unscathed is that I don’t think she fully is a character. I think instead she is more of a representation of journalism as a whole. She is an idea. No matter what happens, what changes, what horrors occur the yellow press will always be there to sensationalise the news and turn a profit. That is the one constant. And so Freddy Lounds remained constant.

So here is my little analysis. Hope u enjoyed!

#this makes sense right #hannibal #hannigram #overanalyzing #again #will graham #hannibal lecter #bedelia du maurier #alana bloom #margot verger #mason verger #jack crawford #frederick chilton #freddy lounds

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basu-shokikita · 8 months ago

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About Depths of Humanity

So, I talked about The Duel some time back and I thought, why not do the same for this song too? It's actually one of my underrated faves from Doomstar Requiem.

This more of a rant than a strict analysis though, I just really enjoy thinking about the implications of this song and what it means in regard to Skwisgaar.

Let's start with Ishnifus' warning. He claims that inside lies danger, the ghosts of their pasts and their fears. He cautions them to stay alert and Dethklok brave forward, even if scared.

Inside, they encounter their old manager, old groupies and Skwisgaar's old guitar teacher, in that order. As promised by Ishnifus', they're all people from their past, coming back to haunt them.

Immediately, these people start recriminating Dethklok for not having paid them back after how much they helped them. In short, they're jealous of Dethklok's fame and money.

The band is clearly affected by the plaints, quickly forgetting what they were here to do. Except Skwisgaar, who reminds them all they have to find clues about Toki's whereabouts. It does not seem like they're listening to him, though.

Now up to here, I want to point out 2 things:

That Nathan and Pickles seem the most upset by these confrontations.

That, while Skwisgaar is disturbed, he still has their goal in mind.

About Nathan and Pickles, I think it makes sense, they are the leaders of the band, they're most conscious of its tremendous success. They also know they're extremely talented musicians, meaning, they're aware of their value. They know they're far from being these miserable pricks demanding rewards. Nathan had a nurturing family while Pickles used to be in a huge band, previously to Dethklok. They're both people that have been inherently helped by other people, which is why being confronted is actually uncomfortable.

Skwisgaar is certainly a different case. I have to say, I was pretty surprised to find out that he had a guitar teacher. Based on the flashbacks in Fatherklok, I assumed he had been self taught. Skwisgaar himself has admitted he was pretty poor in his childhood so it's hard to believe Servetta would've invested in his music education. Plus, he can't read music which I think would be hardly the case if he had gotten classes.

But anyway, I'll play along. This teacher is speaking English and he doesn't make any mistakes so I'm guessing he's american. Meaning, Skwisgaar took classes when he went to America, which was later in his life. To strengthen his game and/or learn the technical bits he might have missed before? Maybe? And if this was the case, then Skwisgaar would've felt less obligated to indulge to other people in his life, when he learned to be independent from a really young age. He doesn't feel like he owes shit to other people, because other people didn't give him shit. Thus, the Depths of Humanity effect is not that strong in him.

You could also argue that the loss of Toki is a far more terrifying prospect than these bitter acquaintances from their past but I'll elaborate on that further in this post.

Murderface? Well, Murderface has low esteem and is the less popular member in the band, so of course he can't fall victim to guilt-tripping. Because that would mean acknowledging he feels like he's in a better place than others, it would mean that he actually believes himself superior than others. But he doesn't, Murderface is convinced he's worth nothing, so this whole charade is more grating than anything. Which brings us to the next moment.

The way Murderface is coaxed by the Depths of Humanity crew, is when a seemingly fan approaches him and starts praising him, claiming he's the best one. And then, is when Murderface is hypnotized by the attention. He's already such a negative person, of course more negativity isn't going to get to him. But positivism? That's another deal.

Skwisgaar once again insists that they have to find a clue on how to find Toki but it falls on deaf ears. Nathan is grabbing his head in despair while Pickles clutches his chest in what seems to be an impending panic attack.

Now I really like the wording 'I'll look if you do, too' from Skwisgaar. It almost feels like, even in this situation, he's trying to sound cool about it. He doesn't want to be the only one caring this much about Toki, he doesn't want to be the one leading this operation. He's not a leader, he's never been a leader, even less when it comes to emotional stuff, which is the implicit purpose of this search. They care about Toki, and that's why they're looking for him. But is Skwisgaar seems to be unconsciously rejecting this fact. This attachment.

However, his bandmates aren't listening, too self-absorbed in their anguish to do so. Skwisgaar continues the search and is quick to point out at something on the wall. It's a flyer that he grabs and, immediately, seems to connect the dots about. In an unusual display of leadership, he tells Nathan to grab Murderface so they can leave. Their purpose has been fulfilled and they can finally escape this horrid place.

Okay, so this is my favorite bit, obviously. Once they're outside, Nathan and Pickles keep complaining about what they were just subjected to, and Skwisgaar stops them to show his discovery. It's the same flyer he just grabbed, and it features the place where Toki had his audition. Also known as the place where they all met Toki for the first time and Skwisgaar and him had the legendary duel.

We don't have a precise Dethklok timeline but it's been a long time since Toki joined the band. Several years, at the very least. And this building is nothing but a far away memory, from when they were a lesser band. From when they weren't the big rockstars they are now. So, it really begs to question that not only did Skwisgaar remember the place, but he did so at once, when he hadn't seen or heard of it in years.

...Unless, he had been thinking about it recently?

We know, thanks to the beautiful central section of the movie, that Toki had been thinking of his audition, of joining Dethklok, as a means to cope with the devastating reality he was faced with. We know reminiscing of his dazzling battle with Skwisgaar and the happiness he found within the band gave Toki strength to carry on. But what about Skwisgaar?

For someone who considered himself much better than other guitarists, to the point he didn't want to play with another one, to actually find an equal, someone that challenged him, it couldn't have been anything short of extraordinary for Skwisgaar.

The summit is for the very best only, yet it's quite lonely too, and Skwisgaar had been basking in that isolation his whole life. Until he played with Toki, then the idea of sharing his field no longer felt like an insult, but potential instead. He found someone that could improve his own playing, someone that could compliment his guitar, take it to even higher heights.

And so, Skwisgaar was the one to invite Toki to the band, more specifically, to tell him he wanted him in the band. While we can't factually know how the rest of the members joined Dethklok, we know for sure that Skwisgaar was the sole responsible for making Toki join, as the rest were already bidding him farewell for failing to keep up with Skwisgaar.

So, when the one person that challenged Skwisgaar's playing was taken away, it wouldn't be a stretch for Skwisgaar to look back on how it all happened. To ponder about the circumstances that lead them to the current situation. It's clear the whole band loves Toki and, unable to deal with their own sadness, drank and fucked to oblivion. This also applies to Skwisgaar, except that with him it's especially complex, given that he's the one that brought Toki to his world to begin with. Given that Toki and Skwisgaar share the same instrument. (Fun fact: you don't actually see Skwisgaar fiddling with his guitar in Doomstar Requiem, just puttings dat out theres.)

Obviously, this is a bunch of mumbo-jumbo but as any Pepe-Silvia-scene impersonator that respects themselves, I want to point out how interesting of a coincidence it is that, less than 2 songs later, Skwisgaar is saying this:

Right before they head in to rescue Toki and Abigail, Skwisgaar imparts some reflection of his. He's been wondering if maybe it wouldn't be better to go back to being a one-guitar band. Toki has been in Dethklok for a long time now, so it's interesting Skwisgaar has been thinking about this...

...Except, that's exactly what his mentality used to be like, before meeting Toki. Right when he was trying to convince Pickles that they didn't need a rhythm guitar, he spoke these words exactly. One-guitar band.

It's almost like Skwisgaar is trying to do some self-preservation by returning to his aloof roots. He made Toki join the band, now Toki's gone and in danger, and maybe this wouldn't have happened if they had stuck with Skwisgaar's original plan. Because they attempted to replace Magnus is why this came to be. The revenge Magnus promised did arrive.

I just wanna be clear. I don't think Skwisgaar believes he's the sole to responsible for this, I'm sure he knows Magnus is the main perpetrator here. But the facts remain the facts, and had they all stayed as they were, then they wouldn't be risking their lives now to save their fifth member.

Like this, it seems entirely logical that Skwisgaar would be thinking of his former reluctance, of the Duel, of everything. It's all fresh in his mind once again, because Toki's kidnapping has forced him to realize they're not actually untouchable. Their mortality is back on the table, and so are their bonds.

In short, Skwisgaar had been repressing all his emotions about Toki's disappearance, but from the Depths of Humanity onward, he can't help but show them. He can't help but admit to himself and others, that he wants Toki back. So much, that a bunch of angry and entitled people can't affect him enough to forget it. So much that it's making him remember how distant he used to be, before Toki. So much that it's making him realize how different he is now.

#metalocalypse #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #pickles the drummer #nathan explosion #william murderface #dethklok #basu post #sorry i went a little apeshit i just *veiny kid* skwisgaar caring #this lowkey a skwistok post ig #platonic or otherwise

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 10 months ago

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⭕️👋Hi I’m new, I really like your character analysis, world lore analysis etc,…I think they’re very accurate and provide more insight into the twisted wonderland world,

do you think NRC gets enough funding cause they’ve been losing to RSA for like almost 100 years now and the Magift incident where the recruiter’s and scouts probably didn’t really pay attention to most of the players cause of Malleus .I know they probably get funding and tuition and stuff from affluent parents who care about the quality of education & environment of their children but is that really enough? Is Crowley secret Stressed about funding cause of their losing streak to RSA???

I just wondered what your thoughts were on the matter

Hello and thank you very much ^^ It always warms my heart to hear that people enjoy my more analytical writings!

Now to answer your question, I don’t think NRC is hurting for money. Like, at all.

You did bring up a fair point about NRC’s almost a 100 year loss streak to RSA + the lack of interested Spelldrive/Magical Shift scouts in book 2, but that’s not enough of the big picture. RSA is only one rival magic school out of several. Just because NRC is not doing well against one other school doesn’t mean that NRC is suddenly deemed “lesser”—NRC is still considered a top arcane academy and eclipses other magical institutions like Noble Bell College. In regards to the pro recruiters, I don’t think it has a huge impact?? Sports is only one sector at NRC; they’re still doing relatively well outside of it (such as in academics, extracurriculars, and connections for internships) in the grand scheme of things. Update: Trein states in his vignettes that NRC is falling behind RSA in academics, which isn’t great news—but again, RSA is but one school for comparison. NRC still ranks above several other magic schools. Things like not winning VDC and not being noticed by scouts seems to only really impact the career prospects of students who were interested in the entertainment/sports industries; I doubt that this would seriously hurt whatever funding NRC is receiving.

Night Raven College is a private school, so they are most likely receiving money from tuition and not the government. Though tuition is not explicitly mentioned in TWST (at least not that I am aware of), if we assume the average cost for one student to attend a British boarding school—for which NRC is modeled after—that means 25,000 pounds per person, PER YEAR. Let us assume that NRC had only 800 students (this is the rough estimate TWST provides us). That means, from one year’s worth of tuition alone, the school is raking in 20,000,000 pounds or 4,058,310,000 madol. Note that this is just money in, not yet factoring for expenditures, taxes, etc.

The school also receives 10% of Mostro Lounge’s proceeds, and while we cannot put an exact number to that, we do know that most menu items range from 600 to 1500 madol. The lounge must also make significant enough money to pay for its ingredients, nice silverware (something which Azul stresses to give customers a high class experience), and even provide pay to workers (Ruggie would not be doing labor for free and refers to his time at Mostro Lounge as “a job”; see: his Ceremonial Robes vignettes). While this doesn’t make up a large part of NRC’s money, it’s still a nice little bonus to account for.

NRC also has many, MANY wealthy students, including literal celebrities and royalty. In fact, the upper middle class to flat-out rich make up the majority of the main cast (close to like 70-75%). If this is also the case for the regular mob students, then there are many other ways for the school to get huge donations. In the main story alone, two significant donations are mentioned: Kalim's dad gave enough money for NRC to completely renovate Scarabia and the Shroud parents paid for all the damages caused to the school's buildings. Additionally, Crowley says that the Shrouds made "substantial contributions toward expanding [NRC's] facilities."

Please note that this is just donations from current students’ families. Think about potential donations coming from NRC alumni too!!

It should be noted that NRC has the financial power to spend liberally, and no one really says that this will put the school in a touch spot. For example, all students are provided free uniforms (school, dorm, PE, robes, labwear, etc.; even the birthday outfits are said to be provided by the school), but they have to pay for replacements if they fuck up their first one(s). Crowley literally buys up Sam's entire stock of goods during Ghost Marriage... and if you know anything about Sam, it's that he can magically keep things "IN STOCK NOW!!" Crowley even indicates in one of his voice lines that he is in constant competitions to buy out Sam's stock and has scarcely managed to one-up him--so the fact that Crowley does buy out Sam during an event is meaningful and speaks to how much of the school's money he is throwing to save it. He also tells Sam to bill the school for the cost of the fairy dust in Fairy Gala.

Both times, Crowley complains about how he would rather not spend money, but he does so anyway. This in of itself does NOT prove that NRC is in need of money, this is just proof of Crowley's cheapness. (We see many other examples of this greed and stinginess of his; he guilts Yuu for spending money on them, constantly tries to get free food and souvenirs from his students, and cuts costs for Halloween candy.) If NRC were truly hurting financially though, then they would not be able to throw lavish events or donate back to the community, both of which still happen multiple times. For example, NRC holds a huge Halloween event every year in which they open their campus to outsiders. This event is entirely free and involves a budget large enough for each dorm to create intricate decorations and costumes for 800ish students. There is also enough money to throw a celebration party for the students at the end of it—and let’s remember, NRC has the money to afford five star ghost chefs to regularly cater, serve in the cafeteria, AND teach their Culinary Crucibles/Master Chef courses.

While explaining the nature of the Halloween events, Crewel cites that NRC has survived this long in part due to the "While explaining the nature of the Halloween events, Crewel cites that NRC has survived this long in part due to the "understanding, cooperation, and subsistence of Sage's Island locals." This implies that the immediate community on the island also supports NRC in some ways. Perhaps it isn't financially, but it's clear that NRC still has social capital and a good reputation in spite of its losses to RSA.

In Port Fest, Crowley states that setup, food supplies, and all other expenses will be covered by the school. Half of the proceeds will then be donated to charity and the other half will be granted to the students to celebrate their hard work. Again, would NRC be giving away this money if they really needed it for the institution itself? They're not obligated to give money to the students, yet Crowley easily agreed when Azul asked for an incentive.

And let's not forget the school cultural festival, which was largely open for the public to attend. If they choose to spend on additional things (such as food and drink or VDC tickets, which are a "hot commodity"), that's on the individual. The school itself is hosting the event for free.

Yuu is offered a large sum of money (if the NRC tribe wins VDC)... and Ramshackle renovations (from Crowley) in book 5 in exchange for letting the boys host their training camp in their dorm. Look at how old and run-down Ramshackle is; there is no doubt that such repairs would be pretty expensive—but Crowley doesn't complain about the cost, he's not above bribing someone to make himself and his school look good.

Crowley caring about his reputation isn't new either, it's a pattern. We see him getting upset at NRC's loss in book 5 and lamenting bad publicity/being excited about good publicity in numerous events (Ghost Marriage, Wish Upon a Star, etc.) The school has been under his care for a long time, so naturally he will feel proud and/or slighted whenever NRC is involved.

This leads me to the conclusion that Crowley, the figurehead and headmaster of NRC, and his own personality quirks are being misconstrued as an indication that NRC is in a bad financial spot. His own fixation on triumphing over their rival school, acquiring and maintaining material goods for himself, and wanting positive attention do not reflect the state of the school. Notice how no one but Crowley whines about the financials and how while Crowley still complains about spending money, he has no qualms with spending lavishly himself on school events and holidays. This means NRC has money to spare, but Crowley is just stingy about how those funds are allocated.

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thequeenofthewinter · 3 months ago

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I want to talk briefly about Emmrich and the educational system of the Mourn Watch because, as a professor in a university, this is fascinating to me from a pedagogical perspective. I want to know how it works. Lemme in.

If you're in education, you know the deal. I salute you, and I am handing you a hot beverage of your choice. However, what those outside might not realize is that Emmrich complaining about having NINE students is perfectly valid. I would do the same. Sure, by itself teaching a class of nine students isn't too bad. However, the man has MORE than a right to complain about the amount of work because he is expected to make nine INDIVIDUALIZED lesson plans, each one distinct for EVERY student. Quite frankly ridiculous. (Even if that is what should be happening, so what they should do is give Emmrich less students. I get he's popular, but the man can only do so much.)

I work in language education, but the principles at the base are the same for many different areas. Ideally, catering to our students and creating plans which fit them and their needs is what educators should be doing, especially at the level of higher learning. In the past (and very sadly still today), the educational system of many places treated students as if the needs for every single one of them were exactly the same and/or that all students were taking a class for the same reasons. Wrong. I don't need to tell you this, but wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong--I can hear Emmrich crying in a corner about the state of education today. It is absolutely exhausting to create such a plan (and let's be frank many of us are not getting paid nearly enough for this), and it is for this reason (and many others) that you see the current blanket of general education today. (I don't want to get into the whole thing. My thoughts are half scrambled. I just got back from teaching seven hours of classes.)

Oh, and that is not even taking into account that in order to do this properly he would have to carry out an environmental and needs analysis, revise the curriculum he created based on student progress, make reasonable and tangible INDIVIDUALIZED objectives and goals, figure out a way to evaluate students fairly, grade said exams. And did we forget the man WRITES BOOKS, so he does research. (With what time? Please give Emmrich a raise.)

Emmrich mentioning having to make these individualized lesson plans tells me two things. 1. The Mourn Watch education takes this into consideration and/or 2. Emmrich is the world's greatest educator (which honestly, he probably is).

...also I just think it would be really fucking cool to see what the Watch has set up. Gimme all those gothic academia vibes.

#Emmrich volkarin #mourn watch #seriously let me in #veilguard #not to mention there are a plethora of other things here I didn't even touch on #excuse any typos as I said I am le tired

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syntheticsystem · 4 months ago

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thranto shorts 01

count: 1331

tone: light, humour

dynamic: thrawn/eli (thranto)

synopsis: after a meeting, eli accidentally leaves his ledger out; thrawn notices one of the commander's doodles and decides to ask him about it.

12+ (language, light innuendo)

Yet another day, yet another meeting with yet another smug, inept bastard of an imperial ‘professional’. Any questions, he’d asked at the end, and Eli could think of one: where they hell do they find these people?

There was nothing ‘professional’ about him whatsoever — and Eli had spent the past ten minutes proving as much in an impassioned rant.

While deciding which aspect of the man’s krayt spit to next criticise, a contemplative voice cut clean into his rage: “You never said that you draw, Commander.”

Eli felt his stomach drop. He turned to the Admiral and stiffened at the sight of him head-buried in a ledger. His ledger.

Suffering the likes of that damn bureaucrat had left Eli so annoyed — so totally riled up — that he’d made a mistake he’d sworn never to make.

He’d left the book out and open.

And the Admiral had taken a curiosity in it.

“I don’t draw,” Eli said defensively, voice so terse it could break, “I just… doodle, sometimes — when I take notes. Helps me focus, sir.”

“Mm…” The Admiral hummed in a way entirely unnerving to Eli. He was too closely focused on whatever he was looking at — and Eli dreaded to think what that might be.

“These lines, Commander,” and he flipped the ledger for his aide to see, pointing at a small caricature of himself in the corner of a page, “they are harsh, jagged; deeply-impressed into the paper. Indicative, perhaps, of resentment.”

Eli reddened at record-speed.

There were certainly worse pages for the Admiral to have happened upon, and Eli sent up a silent prayer of thanks that he hadn’t. Instead, he’d kept it open to the page it was already on. But now, the Chiss was presenting his usual brand of intrusive analysis — one which Eli found far more tolerable when applied anywhere but him.

Thrawn wandered over, taking a place beside his aide. He held the ledger out between them as he traced a hovering finger between details.

“However, I do not appear to be the figurehead of this resentment.” Maybe not, but he was starting to be. “Though the tilted, half-moon shape you have used for my eyes suggests outright anger, you have given me a sword — thus indicating… righteous anger.”

He looked to his aide now, and delivered his conclusion: “Commander, you seem to have projected your own fury at Admiral Karallo onto me.”

“Great, sir; saves me a trip to the shrink.” Eli grumbled. “Can I have it back now?”

“But I’m not finished.” Thrawn’s eyes widened with a strangely intense curiosity. Like he was just getting to the good part.

“By making me the hero of your doodle,” he went on, “you afford me a romantic quality — in both senses of the word. Indeed, the careful attention paid to the curvature of my lips almost suggests something… sensual. Perhaps, then, it is neither just resentment nor anger, but frustration.”

“Wonderful insight, sir.” Eli said dryly, sliding a hand under his ledger and preparing to take it back. He couldn’t see exactly where this train of thought was headed, but disliked it all the same.

Red eyes burning straight into his own, Thrawn asked with all the tact of a train through a town square: “Are you sexually frustrated, Commander?”

“Sir!” Eli exclaimed in what was almost a yell — and snatched the book away, slamming it shut with the force of a starship to an asteroid. “That's that's enough of that. And next time, I would appreciate it if you didn’t go through my things.

For a moment, Thrawn simply stared at him. The very blankness of his face was itself an expression of surprise.

“Understandable, Commander.” The Chiss’ words came slow as he bowed his head apologetically. “However, the book was left open.”

“Alright, alright.” Eli huffed. Sexually frustrated — oh sweet stars above, he wasn’t living that one down. That would haunt his mind for the rest of the day, probably through the night, and possibly even the rest of the week.

Through gritted teeth, he spoke: “Look. Truth is, I don’t think too much about whatever I’m doodlin’ — and I suggest, sir, that you don’t either.”

“Very well, Commander.” An uneasy pause; there was something else. A look of deliberation in the Admiral’s red haze. “Might I keep it?”

“What?”

“If you can bear to part with it,” Thrawn elaborated, “I would like to keep the ‘doodle’ as a… memento. I have never been drawn before, Commander.”

“Aw krayt spit!” Eli rolled his eyes. “Sure you have.”

The Chiss’ gaze narrowed upon him, scalding with new intensity. What silence passed between them was the kind, and long enough, to make you think you’ve made a mistake. It was too late by the time Eli realised his.

“So then, you have other doodles of me, Commander?”

“Now hold up there,” nervous laughter half-scattered Eli’s words, “where’d you get that idea?”

“The certainty of your claim implies that you know, for a fact, I have been drawn before.” Thrawn paused to collect his argument. “Perhaps the Chimaera’s officers make it a common occurrence, to draw their Admiral. Or, perhaps you have made other drawings.”

Well, he had him on that count. All he needed to do was give a flick through the ledger — and Eli found himself thankful for Thrawn’s obsessive analysis. At least that had stopped him from looking elsewhere until he'd finished a thorough examination.

“Could I propose a deal, sir?”

“Go on.”

“If I give you this damn doodle,” he brushed the ledger as if it were dirty — and today, it certainly felt like it was; “will you quit askin’ about it?”

The deepest look of consideration then hung heavy on those blue ridges. Thrawn contemplated his decision with the weight of war.

Eventually, he relented: “For today.”

“Nope. Any day. Forever.”

“No deal, Commander,” Thrawn shook his head gently, “I am afraid we will both have to compromise. One week.”

“A year!” Eli shot back, incredulous.

With the twitch of a brow, Thrawn suggested: “Two weeks.”

Eli gave out an exasperated sigh. Losing his resolve, he countered: “Half a year?”

“One month it is, then.” Thrawn said, a thin smirk upon his lips. Those fucking lips – they were the real villain here. They were what had tripped Eli up — the attention paid to the curvature of this and that…

He tore his eyes away from them and instead considered the ledger in his hands. Then, he thought to the drawing inside.

Hell, he’d be glad to get rid of the thing, if these were the kinds of problems it caused. He opened the book to its latest entry and, without too much care, tore out the doodle from the page.

“Deal, sir?”

Holding out his hand, Thrawn nodded: “One month, no questions. Deal, Commander Vanto.”

With that, Eli pressed the scrap into Thrawn’s cool palm. A weight lifted as he did, and that was that. For at least a month, he could pretend the whole thing hadn’t happened. After that, he’d have to start worrying.

Burning the book seemed like an increasingly good option.

They set off for the bridge side by side then. Not a word was spoken or exchanged as they twisted through corridors and corridors. The Admiral had eyes only for the drawing, which he pored over every step of the way.

Only once reaching the turbolift did Thrawn finally pocket the thing, careful not to crease it, like something precious.

“You know, Commander,” and he must’ve known he was pushing it now, the way just a hint of something smug peppered his words, “it is unusual you decided to draw only my head and hands. The face is important for expression. One hand, perhaps, for the sword. But to give both such detail, down to tendons and veins… Is there something about my hands you find especially–”

“Oh no you don’t,” Eli cut in, “not till next month, sir.”

And hopefully not then, either.

is there any reason why eli would take notes by hand? not really. however, I can make the sillies do what I want, and what I wanted was a silly confrontation about doodling.

I'm considering posting some of my more relaxed, lower-effort, shorter pieces (>1500) on tumblr instead of ao3. this was my test run, so thanks for reading (if anyone has?) and I hope you enjoyed.

feel free to check me out on ao3 :)

thrantover & out

#star wars #fanfic #thrawn 2017 #thrawn #eli vanto #thranto #writing #my writing #I dunno I just think it's fun to write something easy and simple as a break. especially when I don't have much time #but I would still want to post such stuff somewhere. just not to ao3 as I don't want to clutter my account #eh who knows #anyway

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