#i used to be afraid of people learning about me… but I’m a very fascinating woman! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pinkbunny268 · 8 months ago

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Hi!

Could I request Lucifer x angel! F! Reader?

Reader died and went to heaven, but is very curious about hell, so she sneaks out every now and again to hell to explore it. Reader makes herself look like a sinner, and visits hotel regularly since she knows its a safe place, also wants to support charlie and the idea of redemption. So she meets Lucifer there and is fascinated with him, since he isn't at all what he was described at both in heaven and on earth.

And during the hotel fight, she reveals herself while protecting the hotel as an angel and goes against adam

Omg !! Thank you so much for the request ! Absolutely, I love this idea so much <333 I took the time to set the scene so it’ll be a bit until you actually meet Luci !! Also don’t be afraid to request anything either <333

To be honest, I didn’t think I’d end up in heaven. In my eyes, I don’t think I did anything ‘heaven worthy’ I can’t remember how or why I died but when I opened my eyes I was immediately blinded by this bright light. I squint as I try to look around and see someone walking towards me. Their silhouette making me question my vision.

Wings and a halo? Oh boy, I’m actually dead.

The mystery guy revealed himself to be Adam. THE Adam. The first man. The first anything for that matter. And he’s… not what I thought he’d be. Hes proves himself to be very arrogant and cocky. As well as crude and brass. Not exactly what you think would be on the checklist of characteristics to have to get into heaven. But, clearly, God has favorites. Oh, and top of it he flirts constantly, calling me such honestly degrading nicknames.

“Alright, sugar tits, that’s it for the tour or whatever. Got a problem, you can call me~ I’ll make time for you when I can. Im a busy guy, y’know, being the first man an’ all.”

I fight back the urge to roll my eyes.

“Uh huh… I do have a question.” I reply, ignoring his obvious attempts at flirting.

“Don’t be shy, doll face, I can answer whatever question ya got! I am THE man.” He exclaims, chest puffed out and head held high.

“So… if we’re in heaven does that mean hell also exists?” He blinks at me.

“Dumb fucking question because obviously?” He scoffs, his posture slumped. My eyes sparkle at the thought. I may not be able to remember how I died, but I know that when I was still alive I had been fascinated with hell. Just the thought of different time periods of the world’s worst people all clumped in one place. Just imagine how chaotic that would be. And Lucifer. He’s the worst of them all.

As the weeks turned into months, I had gotten closer to Adam. To the point where I learned about the exterminations one night when Adam got drunk when he had stumbled to my home for comfort. Of course, I was sworn to secrecy.

Adam taught me the spell to cast to make a portal to hell and, of course in Adam fashion, we’d occasionally go down there and I’d watched as Adam would make fun of the sinners and hellborn that lived. I’d merely chuckle at his remarks but secretly I felt bad.

But id never tell Adam that.

So began my secret trips to hell alone. I’d tuck away my wings and halo and used body paint to make myself look like a sinner. Though I was contained in the pride ring I was content seeing hell this way.

I’d get a closer look at those who died and ended up here myself and I’d get to see the rest of hell with the protection of Adam.

During one of my lone visits I was walking around town when I found myself in a bit of a situation.

“Hello sweetheart~ wanna come back to my place and have some fun?” I had heard behind me and turned around to see a sinner backing someone else to a wall. The girl looked uncomfortable and didn’t chance a chance against the guy that had cornered her.

“No, I’m good.” She said shortly and went to leave. But the guy wasn’t having it as he grabbed her arm to pull her against him. My body acted before my mind could think and I found myself standing before the guy, fist clenched with blood on it as the man was on the ground. The girl had disappeared without a word. And I was suddenly hit with this Deja Vu feeling. Like, I’d been in this situation before.

Suddenly, I felt afraid. I went to go but the man I grabbed my ankle causing me to fall. I felt fear as I heard the man speak but I didn’t register what he said. All I knew was that I had to leave before I either got hurt or exposed.

As my very limited options raced through my mind, the man had let go. I looked over at him only to see two women standing in his place.

One was a blonde girl who had knelt down to my level, her eyes filled with concern as she gently placed a hand on top of mine.

“Are you ok?” She asked as she pulled me to my feet.

“We should go before that asshole comes back.” The other girl said, her voice low. The blonde girl looked to me her eyes pleading.

“Come with us, you’ll be save I promise.” I just nodded and allowed them both to lead me to what was a hotel. We entered and the blonde sat me on a couch. “Are you hurt? How’s your ankle? That man had quite the hold on you.”

“I’m fine…” I mumbled. “Thank you, by the way. For saving me.” The blonde smiled.

“Of course! I’m Charlie by the way and the other girl is my girlfriend, Vaggie. We saw how you rushed in to defend that girl. You were amazing!” She praised, stars in her eyes with a big smile. I give her a crooked one in return.

“Anyone would have done that I’m not-“

“No, they wouldn’t.” Vaggie interjected. “Not only because people down here suck but also because it’s not their business. Also, no one else was around. You’re lucky we were or else you could’ve ended up hurt.” Charlie let out a nervous chuckle.

“What she means is you were super brave but should be careful… people aren’t as nice as you.” She gives me a soft smile before getting up and walking over to Vaggie and drags her to a different room. They spoke in hushed whispers before I hear Vaggie sigh and Charlie let out an excited squeal. She races back to me and with a big smile asks me, “How do you feel about sinners being redeemed? Do you think it’s possible?”

“Um… possibly? I mean, if there’s any as nice as you two then I do.”

And that’s where it truly started. I had met the rest of the people who lived in that hotel and I can honestly say they are some of the best people I’ve met. Some were a bit odd like their housekeeper Nifty. But she’s a cutie. They acted nothing like how those made as sinners were supposed to. And him.

Lucifer.

He puzzled me most of all. When I had heard that he was coming to the hotel to possibly help out I felt frightened. He was a fallen Angel, there’s no way he wouldn’t be able to sniff me out. And on top of that, it’s Lucifer! Ruler of Hell which holds all of Earths worst people! But again, like the others he wasn’t what I was told he was like at all.

Adam had described him as “The absolute fucking worst!” Though, I’d say Adam’s a little biased, for good reason, but still.

I found him to be sweet and a little awkward. He was easy to talk to as he made an effort to get to know not only Charlie, which I found out was his daughter, but also the rest of us. And I found myself enjoying his company. Any time I had to go back to Heaven I felt sad. I missed everyone at the hotel. I missed him. Everytime I was at the hotel I was practically glued to Lucifer’s side. I found him so fascinating. He was nothing like I had imagined.

As you can expect, we had gotten close as the Extermination date was drawing near and I was happy yet scared for what was to come. Adam’s fucking attitude towards it all made it hard to keep quiet but I somehow found the patience.

Lucifer even showed me around the Pride Ring and all that it had to offer in terms of fun one day. Just the two of us… alone.

“You know… you’re a lot of fun.” He said randomly as we walked back to the hotel.

“Oh, yeah?” I said with a nervous tone. “Thanks…”

“You’re not like the other sinners…” He replied in a deep tone before his eyes widen. “I-I mean that, you’re like, uh pretty cool! Very nice! Good person to hang around!” He says quickly with a nervous chuckle, he cheeks redder than usual.

“Oh, um, thank you, sir. You’re pretty cool yourself…” with an awkward smile, I playfully punch his shoulder. As I’m retracting my hand, he grabs my wrist and keeps it close to him. His sudden grip on my wrist brings me down to his level.

“Please… don’t call me sir. Just call me Lucifer.” He says breathlessly, as if he’s begging for me to refer to him as Lucifer, not just a request. His cheeks were slightly pink and he looked at me through half-lidded eyes. He looked so soft.

And here I thought I couldn’t get anymore fascinated with him. I could replay that moment forever… well, until an annoying voice ruined it and pulled me out of the fond memory.

“All right bitches! Time to fuck shit up!” Adam yelled as the portal to hell opened and they all dove in. Spears, battle axes and whatever else they used to kill those souls in hand. Before it had closed I rushed in and flew straight to the hotel, not that I had to go far since the portal was opened beside the hotel.

I quickly flew down near some rubble to hide and watched as the Angels attacked before a barrier was put up around the hotel. I could hear Adam screaming at (presumably) Lute that he obviously can’t see the giant fucking forcefield in front of them, which made me chuckle.

I stayed hidden for the majority of the fight, as I wasn’t equipped to really do anything and I was afraid to get in the way. At some point, the barrier had been taken down by Adam. However, when I saw Adam pick Charlie up by her throat I knew I had to act.

Taking off my disguise and letting my wing’s stretch as well as allowing my halo to show itself once more, I fly over to Adam and Charlie and snatch Charlie from Adam’s grasp. I fly her a good enough distance from Adam, still in the air and in my arms.

“Y/n..? You’re an.. angel?” Charlie says in awe, her eyes wide. I give her a sheepish smile.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to-“

“You fucking traitor!” Adam yells as he collects himself. “Fuckers like you aren’t ever allowed back into heaven you fucking bitch!” He declares as he flies back up and heads straight at us, his axe gripped tight in his hand.

My eyes widen in surprise and fear as turn my body, shielding Charlie with my body as i prepare for impact. But it never came. Instead, I hear Adam struggle before turning my head, Charlie still in my arms as I watch Lucifer throw Adam into the sign on top of the building.

“Dad!” Charlie yells as Lucifer flies down closer to us. He smiles at Charlie.

“Sorry I was late, sweetie.” His eyes flicker up to mine, a look of surprise and awe held in them as he stares at me. I feel myself blush slightly.

“Oh my… you’re…”

“An angel, I know I’m sorry-“

“Beautiful.” He finishes, eyes still staring at me with such a look of admiration I almost dropped Charlie. Out the corner of my eye I see Adam picking himself back up, half of his mask torn apart showing off his really face.

He goes on into a rant about how we should be worshipping him, he’s the first man, blah blah blah. Until a knife is plugged into his back and out of his stomach. He falls to the ground and Lute rushes to his aid, screaming his name.

My eyes tear up at the sight of Adam dying in Lutes arm. Lucifer gently grabs my hand and I quietly cry into his shoulder. After a few moments, he practically kicks the Exterminators out. Many of them hurt or wounded in some way and Lute grabs Adam’s halo and flies off, the portal closing behind them.

For the time being after that was spent rebuilding the hotel and mourning the loss of those who died. Once the hotel had been built I again found myself with Lucifer. We sat beside each other, his hand on top of mine. I looked at him, my eyes soft as I studied his face.

He was still as fascinating to me as when I first met him. And I’m so happy that I get to learn more about him now that I’m permanently staying in hell.

I hope you like this! It didn’t really go in the direction I wanted it to and I thought about rewriting it a few times but I think I turned out pretty alright! Forgive me if anything you wanted was left out, it’s been a while since I’ve done a request <333

#hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin fanfic #hazbin charlie #hazbin angel dust #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin lucifer #lucifer x reader #x reader #fluff #hazbin adam #hazbin lute #hazbin niffty #lucifer morningstar #requested #request

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itsnotbird · 2 months ago

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Orphic~ File 5

Taciturn (adj.); Silent; not talkative

Warnings: mentions of abuse, drugs, withdrawal, violence, language.

Bucky!Barnes x Fem!Reader

Previous part here

Masterlist

“James.”

“It’s alright, James.”

He stirs, letting out a soft breath as you come into his vision. He’s not afraid of the hands that run through his hair, how your fingers gently stroke his jaw, showing him the softest comfort he’s ever known. He finds himself reaching for you, his hand twisting in your hair as his forehead presses to yours.

“Shh, I’m here now.” You soothe. “It’s okay.”

He shakes his head, eyes squeezing shut before they open, seeing you smile gently, laid beside him on the floor.

“No.” He mumbles, a hint of a whine trailing after the word.

“You’re a good man.” You promise him, nuzzling your nose to his.

“My hands are red.” He tells you, heart beat in his ears as your soft hand slips down his check to rest of the side of his neck.

“And yet, I trust them completely.” You whisper into his ear. “I could be good to you if you let me. Won’t you let me?”

As you slot your lips to his, you gasp in his air.

Bucky wakes up with a start, chest heaving. His eyes look around the bare apartment. It’s empty as always.

Hands pressed to his eyes, he mutters to himself, his teeth grit.

“Get out of my head.”

“Get out of my head!”

- - - -

You suddenly understand why people can’t stop addiction.

This feeling is comparable to physical abuse, something you know much about.

By some miracle, you’ve managed to get out of bed and shower. You put on your own clothes, the things you yourself picked out. It’s a good feeling, but as you walk to the kitchen, you think your teeth might just crack.

Coffee might help.

“Hello, Blue.”

You jump, turning to see Vision behind you.

You give a simple smile, then wave your hand up for a coffee mug to come into your grasp from the cabinet.

“Your abilities are very fascinating.” He states. “Have you tried to use them on yourself? To get rid of that feeling you have?”

You toss him a look over your shoulder.

Of course you tried. Unfortunately, the people who cursed you with these powers made sure you couldn’t inflict them on yourself, almost like a safety precaution so you wouldn’t end yourself when they weren’t looking.

You lean on the kitchen island and sip the coffee, cringing at the bitterness. The sugar jar drifts over, you scoop two spoonfuls in. You drink the coffee quickly, hoping it’ll settle you.

“I understand your urge to remain silent.” Vision says. “The others might find it odd but rest assured, I do not criticize you.”

You muster up the best smile you can, then pat his hand. In your opinion, if anyone was odd, it would be the one that is a large computer chip who looks like a dignified gentleman with blonde hair.

You respect his kindness.

Taking bland tasting wafers with you, you wander the halls, take the elevator to different parts of the compound. To your surprise, you don’t run into many people, the agents and workers that you do come across, they don’t speak to you.

After about twenty minutes of taking in your surroundings, you come across a file room on the third floor, meaning it was restricted access.

You jab your finger against the key pad, it blinks at you angrily.

With one simple flick of your hand, the door creaks open.

You laugh.

Wasn’t this supposed to be a high security facility?

You shut the door behind you and curiously look over the filing cabinets. They’re labeled all differently, separated into mission reports and previous alliances or enemies. You open the one that’s labeled ‘Tony’s Cult’, assuming that meant the information on the Avengers.

You bring a stack out and sit comfortably on the floor. Like a good book, you dive in, getting lost in abilities, missions, back stories.

It might be an invasion of privacy, but they all read your file so you assume you can read theirs. You learn birthday’s, quirks that are noted in, who has confirmed kills and who doesn’t. You laugh at the file of Peter Parker, because there’s not much there besides everything that screams ‘child with odd ability’.

You enjoy Steve’s, because it reminds you of the children’s books you read hundreds of times while in The Ring. He’s the hero, the one that saves the day. He is everything you were told you were going to be if you killed a man you didn’t know. He was given a gun for the good of America, you were given powers for the good of a rich family.

James Buchanan Barnes

‘The Winter Soldier’

Your fingers pause before they open the dusty folder.

This felt more like the stories they told you to scare you into behaving. This was your story.

Confirmed kills…

Hydra…

…war…

…Bucky and Steve…

…prisoner…

…brain washed…

…Deadly, be advised…

…assassin…

Your brows furrow, all these words spin in your mind. Holding up his military id photo, you smile at his charming face in a sergeant uniform. You compare it to the stone cold expression of The Winter Soldier, and determine it’s two different people you’re looking at.

There’s a rather awful photo of his left shoulder, how the skin is scarred and mangled as it meets silver metal.

You reach to feel the brand on the back of your neck, your nails scrape it.

- - - -

Natasha knocked on your bedroom door, only to be met with silence. Figuring you’re eating breakfast, she searches for you in the kitchen, only to find Steve and Sam play fighting with wooden spoons.

“Where’s Blue?” She asks the two boys who quickly drop their pretend weapons.

Steve clears his throat. “Asleep still, maybe.”

Nat shakes her head. “I was just at her room.”

“You try the MedBay? Doesn’t she get poked around this time?” Sam asks.

“Her infusions are done, that’s why I’m concerned. Last thing we need is an important asset to be passed out somewhere.” She stresses just as Wanda joins them.

“What’s wrong?” She asks.

“Have you seen Blue?” Steve asks.

Wanda shakes her head.

They split up, searching every room.

You put the files back the best you could after the shaky feeling became too much. You wrap your arms around your cramping sides, somehow making it back to the living space where you collapse on the couch.

“Jesus, where have you been?” Nat asks as she comes in to find you, but her concern grows as she takes in your pale expression.

“What’s wrong?” She comes to your side, soon joined by Steve and Wanda. “How do you feel?”

I’ve never been better.

You refrain from rolling your eyes, you continue to shiver.

“Bruce said she has to let the shakes run its course, they can’t keep giving her that stuff.” Nat states to the two that join as you roll onto your side.

“Here, let me.” Wanda comes forward, you see the red glow at her fingers and shuffle away in uncertainty.

“Blue, this won’t hurt.” She promises, placing here fingers an inch from your forehead as she tries to figure out what you need.

“She’s cold.”

Steve is quick to sit beside you, pulling you to lay on his lap.

Wanda’s face twists in the agony you feel. “There’s nothing we can give her?”

“Uh…baby aspirin?” Steve offers.

You try to think of something that has felt worse, maybe the first injection of the serum, how it burned in your veins. That felt pretty bad. But though you’ve experienced multiple parts of hell, this was certainly new.

“They’ve lowered the dosage for a month, should it be effecting her this bad?” Steve asks, his hand on your shaky shoulder.

Nat comes back with a wet rag, wiping your clammy forehead. “This isn’t a drug you buy from a dealer in his mom’s basement, Steve, this stuff could kill somebody with a normal system. They’ve been giving it to her like candy for fifteen years, she’s become dependent on it and now her body is trying to figure out how to function.”

Steve takes the rag and keeps it to your skin as he grumbles. “You could’ve just said yes.”

Your head lolls, a sort of hallucination wiping over your vision. You groan with discomfort.

“I can put her to sleep, maybe she’ll sleep it off?” Wanda offers.

Sure, sleep off the deadliest withdrawal known to man.

Despite your doubt, you feel a relief wash over you as Wanda shuts your eyes.

Oh…this is nice.

- - - -

At some point, Steve left you when he was sure you wouldn’t wake. Covered in a blanket, you lay peacefully on the sofa.

That’s how Bucky finds you.

He wasn’t expecting to come across you, but his feet are now planted as he stares down at you. It’s a bitter feeling in him, you sleeping soundly, having no idea of the anguish you’ve caused him. He could hate you for it, he probably should.

…but…

He just wants to see, just wants to answer one of the many questions he has. Carefully, he reaches for the hand that rest on your chest.

It doesn’t shock him like before.

It just makes him angry, actually. It felt the same as in that terror from the night, that oddly soothing touch that will never be meant for him.

He drops your hand, huffing to himself.

Somehow, he feels worse now.

“Dude.”

He snaps his head up at the voice, seeing Sam stand there with raised brows.

Fuck.

“How long have you been there?” Bucky asks, swallowing nervously.

“Uh, long enough to see you go all creepy stalker mode.” Sam responds, coming closer. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Bucky answers quickly and defensively.

“Didn’t look like nothing.”

He glares, then moves away from you and closer to Sam. “Drop it, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” He bites.

Sam’s eyes widen. “Do you even know what you’re talking about?”

“…No. I don’t know.”

As Bucky storms off, Sam is hot on his heels.

“You want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“I feel like you want to talk about it.”

Bucky turns around swiftly. “You’re gonna be feeling something else if you don’t lay off.”

Sam raises his hands in defense. “Fine, suffer in silence, you damn cyborg.”

Bucky desperately tries to remember the rules his therapist gave him, more specifically rule number two.

Nobody gets hurt.

He has the urge to break that one.

Despite his pace, Sam keeps up with him.

“You know what, I get it. I get it. She’s mysterious, a little weird, like you, and she’s gorgeous. Of course you’d be obsessed with her.”

Bucky’s metal hand clenches in irritation. “I am not obsessed with her.”

Sam laughs over dramatically, clapping a hand onto Bucky’s shoulder. “That’s funny, that’s really good, you should be a comedian.”

Bucky zeros in on the contact he makes. “Remove your hand before I do it for you.”

Sam snatches it away. “You’re a little aggressive, you need to have an emergency session with your Doc?”

He manages to make it to his room without putting Sam through a wall. He thinks that’s improvement.

Leaning against the window, he rubs his head and tries to get those words out of his mind.

He wasn’t obsessed with you, just mildly interested in how you’re stitching yourself into his already fried brain. Of course you weren’t doing it on purpose, but you were doing it and it made him feel like he was slowly going crazy.

He does those stupid breathing exercises Raynor told him to do, cracks his neck, then leaves for the training room where Steve was expecting him.

Next part

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barns x reader #bucky barnes x you #marvel #the winter soldier #bucky #the avengers #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barns imagine #bucky barnes series #james barnes #steve rogers #captain america

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melpomenismask · 4 months ago

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Vedic Astro Thought,

(Warning: i do not edit these and I will NOT be trying, so just read please lol.)

I’m starting to suspect serpent yonis need to stick together. As a girlie with a rohini mars chart ruler, and having learned about the myths surrounding rohini and mrigashira, that curse of attention for serpent yonis is genuinely unbearable. I thought it was a Venusian or Nodal condition, but neither of them have the sense of vulnerability and danger of a serpent yoni’s ability to intrigue and attract attention without even trying. Imagine you’re a snake in the park, enjoying the grass and nature, wanting to have a nice little day, maybe eat a mouse or two, who knows, you’ll figure it out. Then you slither into a family barbecue, and suddenly everyone’s screaming, trying to stomp you, etc, or maybe a small group of people find you and are fascinated, so fascinated they poke and prod you, maybe they’re a bit rougher, and you have to lie there because if you even react slightly they’ll attack because they’re afraid of you, and all the while you’re just a tiny little snake!

I thought of this because of Hidden Octave’s Rohini video on YouTube, which I absolutely relate to, but I felt a bit out of place because I’m not someone who’s actively courted or sought attention, it was inflicted on me by everyone around me. I was abused, bullied, attacked for no reason but grown adults, and object of peers sexual interest as a child, and it seemed like if I asserted myself even slightly, I was suddenly the most terrifying thing in the room when I’ve been “playing dead” the entire time. I’ve found this has made dating impossible for me because I am so traumatized by how people react to me that I can’t even be myself anymore (trying to get back to it though) because I now automatically doctor myself to NOT provoke, because all it brought is danger, drama, and mess.

I have also been the provocateur in cases though, not because I was desperate for attention, but because I took difficulty connecting as REAL potential because that person didn’t inflict all their reactions and fears that had onto me immediately until I sought them out further, then I realized I had just found a milder version of all the people who mistreated and misunderstood me before—but the one person that stuck with me as someone I genuinely felt a connection to was a fellow serpent yoni: our rohini mars conjuncted. The moment we met and it became even vague knowledge we had interest in each other, drama from everyone around us ensued and it bled into our already unformed but genuine connection because we were both victims of the same burden of the inherent ability to intrigue and provoke. Unfortunately the guy was also saturnian and lunar, so he was very internally unbalanced and I have had to move on for my own sake to find someone I deserve, because he has a long was to go before he realizes the drama isn’t a part of him, just a reaction to him. It’s hard to unlearn, but only another serpent yoni really gets it. You’re not even doing anything, and everyone seems to watch every move you make while also being repelled if you come too close.

Which brings me to my point. In America, there’s a famous couple from a sitcom called The Office; their names are Jim and Pam. The actor Jim was a national heartthrob in his heyday as the character and has went on the make pretty good movies, the actress for Pam pretty much did that show and nothing else really big happened for her, but she did well, but she hasn’t really moved on from the glory days from what people seem to say about her—even alleging that she’s a bit obsessed with Jim’s actor in real life to the point he had to publicly “shut her down”. Jim’s actor is a Rohini, Mrig, and Magha (hence his “glory”) guy, while Pam’s actor is Dhanishta, some Jupiter influences, but not that much serpentine energy, just a rohini mars. I find the lunar aspect of rohini so compelling because when that energy holds you, you’re genuinely in some different reality, but because of how that serpent yoni energy intoxicates you. Of course if you’re also serpentine, it also violently rubs salt into the wound of how hard it is to find someone you genuinely connect with, but hey, I digress, I swear I’m totally fine and not having an existential crisis about love right now.

I find it hilarious how that reactionary pattern just KEEPS happening in different octaves; apparently between them as cast members, then Jim’s actor as the heartthrob boy next door in love with the married girl (rohini and its love triangles), and the married girl stuck in a marriage that she is miserable and used as an ego crutch in. I mean, sure, Pam is great, but it wasn’t her longing, her clinging to something that just felt right that made the story so romantic, it was all Jim from the start keeping it alive, because if Pam didn’t luckily love him back that boy would’ve been stuck. He “moves on” in the show, and does it easily because he can, and he enjoys the company, but it doesn’t matter because it’s so empty. He’s so kind and loving for Pam because he feels safe and at home, but he can’t just sit around for a woman who turned him down, right, so the serpent has to find another place to hide in. He clicks well with anyone because that’s what serpent yonis do. We can react with you and mirror but that’s just because we’re conditioned that way because of how the world treats us from a young age, not because you’re special. And it’s hard to watch him try to move on when he so clearly just can’t detach—think of two serpents intertwined, that’s the way I think we serpent yoni types want to love. An eternal, safe, vitalizing embrace. Snakes are cold-blooded but they are creatures like the rest, but for some reason unbeknownst to it, the other creatures don’t seem to agree, and all the snake wants is to find a little home, hunt, and live in peace.

This ISN’T to say we don’t know what we’re doing when we’re doing it, but when we’re not doing anything, we’re still somehow “doing it”, specifically for Rohini because Lunar influence is rife with confusion and illusion. All you want is to be out of the darkness, to know that the shadows aren’t scary, that you can come out too and be yourself in all your snake-ness, but it never seems to be over, the curse of attention, and the madness just seems to follow you. Whether it’s from the world or the budding madness in yourself from never finding solid ground to just see everything clearly for a moment and make sense of things. It’s a hellish trap of constant reaction (which I personally hate, hence why I consider it hell).

I was also surprised by the YouTube comments and the intense shift in sentiment around Jim and Pam from the show. It used to be THE dream romance, people wanted their own Jim, people wanted their own Pam, people wanted to be Jim and Pam. NOW, people seem to hate them. Now they’re pretentious, uppity, the worst ones out of the show for their light transgressions while all the insane people are still acceptable to make space for. They’re literally just the “normal” characters in a sitcom with a sweet love story, and people lose their fucking MINDS about them, when they are literally not even that special. They just love each other deeply, and that simple truth creates a labyrinth of envy and intrigue, and I see that pattern for rohinis and serpent natives often. They are just themselves, it’s very nice, and no can seem to handle it normally.

Jim and Pam are sweet. Jim is sweet with normal human character flaws, but it seems everyone (even in the show lol, go watch) is hellbent on making him something more provocative, chaotic or malicious than he actually is, which is just extremely rohini. Hi, Norma, hi, Marilyn. We never get a break until it kills us or we find our “charmer” we can trust and love without fear of the curse rearing its ugly head again. Sometimes it just kills us.

In my opinion, serpents need their snake charmer, who can dance with them without fearing their differences, or a fellow serpent. Considering the state of humanity right now—maybe look for fellow snakes instead of a magical “charmer”, someone “normal” and grounded like Pam is for Jim in that example, or like the non-flashy guys Marilyn Monroe married. We want to be seem and understood, but I think we can only understand each other. If you’re a serpent yoni maybe keep out an eye for people with that nakshatra energy in their chart, because they won’t be as oddly disturbed and provoked by you like the others probably are. It’s hard enough out there, so use cheat codes. Life is shit and we make it better out of luck, faith and perseverance. And love, of course. 🥰

From a friend. :)

#vedic astrology #vedic astro notes #rohini nakshatra #rohini #serpent yoni #mrigashira #vedic astro observations #personal #astrology #witchcraft #spiritually #me

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thesharktanksdriver · 2 years ago

Text

People are strange (platonic)

Basically the vamp boys had a kid they just now learned about.

This is entirely platonic and there’s a section for each of them individually as the father in this situation. beginning Half is just kinda context takes place two years before the film

Your mother always warned you of monsters when you were younger

Ones that would hide within the shadows

Glowing red eyes

Gnashing pointed teeth that shine in moonlight

Hissing and growling like wild animals

Ones that looked like you and I

Who seemed impossibly beautiful, like carved statues of cherubs and angels Who were really the devil himself in disguise

She taught you to be wary of the world

To trust your gut and never brush off the chill that goes down your spine when you feel something was wrong

Many called your mama a paranoid woman

One who was skittish and afraid of the slightest bump in the dark

But you knew there was always something more to her fear

A reason as to why she’s deathly afraid of the clock chiming midnight

You trusted her for she was your mother

You never complained from her working long hours to make ends meet or about not getting the latest toy

Her getting home late and locking the door, shaking hands and uneven breaths was enough to always keep you from making a pep

Especially as it all melted away at the sight of you waiting patiently to greet her despite how late it was

She was tough as nails despite how people gave her looks for raising you on her own

Yet another reason you respected her more than just being your mom

So despite how you had to move yet again you didn’t complain

Especially as she said that in this place the two of you would be staying in a bigger home

So she packs up yet again

And the two of you load up into her car, putting the limited amount of items into the trunk before making the trip to Santa Carla

The so called “murder capital of the world” via the back of a billboard advertising the place

The sun is up and as she drives through the town you see all kinds of people

People from different backgrounds and subgroups

It was all fascinating to your 12 year old mind

Especially since you’d only see leather clad and studded jackets on tv

Never up front and in person

You peered out in wonder at a few of the leather wearing people, even getting a few small waves or smiles from them

It made you wave back as your mom drove past a boardwalk

One that piqued your interest without much effort

Perhaps it was the sight of carnival games that were likely rigged

Stuffed Prizes as big as you were

Sugary sweets and greasy delicacies

Flashing lights from stomach churning rides

The sound and smell of the salty water of the sea crashing into the shore

But something drew you there

It was like a call in your mind

Beckoning you to go

Like Alice following the white rabbit into wonderland

Your mother sees your stare and chuckles a little

Hands gripping the steering wheel as she turns it

“Did you know that I used to live here?”

“Really?!”

“Yep. The house we’re gonna live in is where I used to live when I was a teenager”

“But…I thought grandpa and grandma didn’t like you because of me?”

“Grandma and grandpa…are in a retirement home. We got the house in return”

At that you nod

It sounded like it made sense

“Mommy actually used to go the board walk quite a bit. Maybe you’ll have fun there”

“I’m allowed to go there?”

“Yeah but…remember what I said about following your gut. Alright?”

“Ok!”

Moving in is relatively quick

The place is old and furnished in antique furniture

It’s better that what the two of you had before except for the old person smell

But that would go away with time…and fabreeze

You traverse through the place finding what you assumed to be your mom’s old room

It’s untouched

Remnants of the 60’s turning into what you think to be the 70’s

Posters hang on the walls, Janet Joplin and Jim Morrison are two you can clearly recognize

Their music played on the way to this very house

The covers of the bed are soft as you flop down onto the duvet spread of swirls and sunflowers

Your bag following suit as it spills open to let your stuff tumble out onto the bed

By the time night hits your surging with energy as your mom gets ready to go to her new work

It was weird but for some reason you always felt more energetic at night

Your mom always said you got that from your dad which made you giggle

You never knew him

Only heard bits and pieces about him from your mother who guarded it to her heart

Naturally you were curious about the man since he WAS your father

But by how hesitant she seemed you eventually brushed that curiosity away for her sake

Your mom gives you twenty dollars and a kiss on the cheek after handing you a sweater just in case

The rule was to be back by 10 which you’d definitely abide by lest you have this privilege taken away

So your off

Into the boardwalk you go as the last bits of sunlight die

The sun slowly going down in the horizon signalling night to take reign

Your a bit overwhelmed since this is the first time having such a big sense of freedom

Plus there are so many people here

For awhile you end up laying a few games, winning cheaply stuffed prizes before ending up getting some ice cream

You end up sitting by the steps going down into the beach

It was quieter there and less busy making it relaxing as you listened to the waves

And then you heard the sound of moter cycles roaring

Your eyes turn to see 4 boys, all teenagers around 18 or 19 coming to a stop

Their all laughing to themselves

Two blonds seemingly play fighting as another watches with a tall dark haired man

You get up from your spot, whipping of stray bits of sand sticking to you and approach the group who’d yet to notice you

“I like your jackets”

Their eyes search around for a moment before trailing down to you

Staring up at them with interest

You notice how whatever they were gonna respond with dies in their throats

You miss how momentarily their eyes flash to an cat-like yellow hue from being distracted from the detailing of their leather coats

Specifically the one with all the patches and dangly bits

The one in the centre responds first, thanking you before kneeling down a bit to be at a better height

Up till then you had to crane your neck up to look at the 4 of them

He introduces himself and then the others

There’s a noticeable intrigue in them that doesn’t go unnoticed by you

The one named Paul chimes in asking if your here with some friends

You respond with the truth that your here alone, your first night in your new home

“Must be pretty brave coming here all alone” the one named Marko comments with a wild smile

“Mom says the same thing. She also always says trust your gut”

“What does your gut say about us?”

“That your cool”

That gets a good laugh out of them

The rest of the night you spend it with the rowdy group of bikers

Paul and Marko showing you the best hacks for winning the carney games

David buying you a burger that you snack on as the night progresses

Dwayne placing you on his shoulders when you mention your feet starting to hurt

It’s fun

Possible the most fun you had in a long while

At a lot of your old schools you never really made friends

Partially due to the fact you knew you’d move but also cause you could never really click with other kids your age

But it seems that within minutes of meeting these delinquent bikers you’d made the friends you had so longed for

But eventually the night comes to an end the minutes to 10 are ticking down and you have to head home

You notice how distinctly upset one of them are compared to the rest

And how in your own way you feel the same

Almost as if you were about to leave a part of your soul if you left

“I’ll be back tomorrow night. We can meet by the same spot if you’d all like”

Immediately the mood is lightened

David nodding as the others smile and wave you off as you take the path home

Despite how dark the streets were and how afraid you probably should be when walking home in a new town

Let alone one named the murder capital of the world

You feel at ease

Safe beneath the starlit skies as the moon lead your way home

At some points you could’ve sworn you felt eyes on you but there was no feeling of danger

You could even dare say you felt protected as the wind howled last you

When you get home your mom is there to greet you with a smile

One that seemed less stressed than normal

“How was it?”

“It was fun!. I made some friends I think”

“You think?”

“Yeah…well this older than me but super cool”

She nods with a smile, sending you to bed with a spark of familiarity in her eyes as she stares out a window

The next night you keep your word, going to the same spot you met them when the light died

Letting night take it’s place

They arrive like they did last time but instead of laughing amongst themselves they immediately head to greet you

It repeats like this for your night times

Their always filled with fun and laughter as the group quickly welcomes you to its metaphorical ranks

There is an unknown sentiment shared between them

One that it takes awhile for your young child brain to catch onto

Eyes sending silent sentences as they ruffled your hair

The way how there’s an unspoken rule between them that at least one is with you at all times

How out of the bunch one specifically seems to linger near you more than the others

An unknown emotion filling their eyes as they have to say goodbye once the clock chimes 10

And then joy when they see you the next night at the boardwalk

How that one of the group is always the first to find you and greet you

It’s odd

But perhaps not in a bad way

It makes you feel happy and comfortable

Almost as if you greeting your dad after a long day of work or saying goodbye to him

It’s a feeling you enjoy especially as the nights are filled with joy

But with that also comes the odd feeling you have with them

A sense of kinship beyond just regular friendship

Something more alike to being part of a family

Along with that is also the odd smell your sometimes find lingering near them

It’s faint but there, an irony twang that isn’t from the studded boots or moter cycles

It hangs from them in an essence that only you seem to notice

For some reason you imagine the smell as an almost red mist

Something that also lingers around the video store that they avoid as best they can

Not like you can blame them though

Something in you tells you that danger lies there so you never go near it

There a noticeable change in you as you spend time with them

A sense of energy when the sun sets that leaves you somewhat confused since it wasn’t to this extent before

Now you felt as if you were more alive at night

Sometimes taking hours to even try to force yourself to sleep when your supposed to

And despite that you feel energetic as usual during the day but especially at night

It becomes an ongoing cycle you endure

Because if it meant being able to spend time with the boys you’d befriended then you’d bare it

David like the others can instantly tell that your his kid

They all can

It’s safe to say your now his number one priority

For a long while David feels clueless as to how he should handle this

Cause on one hand he wants to just take that step into fatherhood

To be there for you as best he could without up and saying he’s your dad

But at the same time he doesn’t know if that’s what you want or need

And that leaves him more scared than he’d like to admit

He doesn’t want to be like Max, someone who’d come into your life uninvited and decide that he’s now your dad

It’s fucked up and they know all about it from now being his “sons”

So for awhile he’d keep the relationship as being a big brother figure until he gets hints that he’d think it would be ok to take a more fatherly role

It’s odd for him to feel so…soft

He’s normally composed and at times gruff

The complete opposite of how he is when your tugging him to booth to win a prize

For the first in a long time David allows himself to let his guard down

To let the walls guarding his heart topple down and be vulnerable

It’s something he doesn’t do often even with the others

So it means a lot to him that he can do so without worry

He takes to hovering around you a lot

he’s not really affectionate like Paul or Marko but likes to just silently be near your presence

Watching you smile at a dumb joke

It comforts him that your not afraid of them, of him

That despite the looks and the scared glances from other people on the boardwalk you always come back

That also leads to him worrying for you

Especially since there are monsters in Santa Clara that may not be vampires but in his opinion much worse than they are

It’s cause of that he ends up personally watching and making sure your ok

That you get home safe to your mother

Speaking of which he may or may not be a bit bitter she kept you a secret from him

He partially understands her reasoning but it still hurts

What matters though is that he can be there for you now

Your a smart kid and it makes him proud especially as you begin taking after him in small ways

Sometimes it’s with how you walk as if you owned the place

Or how you went about a situation

He can’t help but chuckle a bit when thinking about it especially when he gifts you a coat similar to his own

The sight of which makes his crack a smile as you add it to your daily attire

It makes him feel a stroke of pride as you parade around like a mini him

Everyone knows that he’s something akin to a paternal figure to you and with that comes no one on the boardwalk messing with you

Unless they want him and the boys on their asses with a potential of ending up on a missing poster

But once again with that comes Max

Shit grinning Max who just had to stick his head into what didn’t involve him

David won’t admit it but he’s always on pins and needles when around the older vampire

For someone who is normally in control and the most powerful in a room he feels weak when the other vampire is around

All grip on the situation slipping out his fingers like sand in an hour glass

An sturdy object now cracked and moments away from breaking under the pressure of a fake smile and yellow eyes

Unsurprisingly Max is happy with this development

David dare even say ecstatic which leaves him uneasy

It’s better than him being mad but he can see the gears turning in his sire’s head

The prospect of his fucked up family dream coming one more step into fruition

Max makes one demand that David hesitantly agrees to which is bribing you in to meet him

So despite his clear hesitation David begrudgingly does so after exposing his…dad wanted to meet you

None of the boys are happy either but they put up some practices smiles and are able to convince you to help them pick out a video to watch

During this encounter you stick by David who is more than eager to shield you away from Max’s view as subtly he can

The older vampire peering down at you with intrigue

Despite nothing being amiss with the man behind the counter you feel uncomfortable

Something about him was wrong

The kind smile feeling almost Artificial as it hides something malicious behind it

You put up with that feeling though

Instead giving a shy but cordial greeting as Paul picks a film with Marko

Dwayne watching not too far away as David grasps your hand

The sight of which makes Max grin

After that the group takes you to their small hangout after you had gotten permission from your mom to stay longer

It’s something akin to a dream-like cave

Sea glass and beer bottle strung up to create blobs of coloured light

A large poster of Jim Morrison hanging on the wall just like your mom’s room that became your own

This places feels magical

“You like it?”

“Yeah!. Mom has a poster of Jim as well”

“Really?, well she must have good taste”

There’s a hidden amusement in his voice as he brings forth a wheelchair that he offers you to sit down in

It’s reminiscent of a throne as you sit down

David wheeling it closer to where the others sit as you giggle in delight

His eyes drift over to the bejewelled bottle every once in awhile as everyone watches the film

A part of him wants to offer it

That sweet golden ticket of immortality

But he holds back knowing it would be cruel

Though they may be sadistic he can’t bring himself to tricking you into turning

Can’t rip away your humanity and tear you away from your mother

He can’t find himself going to betray your trust

Perhaps later on in your life he’d offer it but for now he’ll lock those thoughts away

Despite how some part of his wishes to keep you forever young

Forever his child

His eyes trail back down to you dozing off

The others can’t help but laugh as the big bad David gentle picks you up with a certain soft look in his eyes

He glares but it only makes Paul and Marko’s giggles louder

Dwayne just smirks and nods

Getting the silent message of making sure the other two bozo’s didn’t burn down the cave as he left

And so he takes off into the sky with you in hand

Your smaller form fast asleep amongst the stars of the midnight sky

He can’t help but think about how fragile you are compared to him

A monster of the night

When he knocks on the door to your home he’s met by your mother whom stares with nostalgia

He asks if he can enter and she lets him

His jacket seems to flutter from a breeze coming in behind him

The next morning you wake up tucked into bed with the strangest dream of soaring the night skies

Your new friends Edgar and Allen say that you’d been reading too many superman comics

Dwayne feels his now unbeating heart stop as he stares down at you looking up towards them

Round innocent eyes that almost make him crumble and lose his usual stoic shield

He had always had a soft spot for children

And with you he absolutely melts like butter left in the Californian sun

The giant of a man accompanying you as you held onto his hand or the edge of his jacket

Out of them all he definitely takes to the role of dad the fastest

The quiet giant becoming the epitome of a gentle giant for you exclusively

It’s funny to the others how Dwayne will go from stoic badass to holding your hand when there’s a crowd so you don’t get lost

Honestly their all especially happy for him considering they all knew he once had a desire to have a family

It was initially what Max played on into initiating the brunette

Only for him to realize that those dreams were manipulated and played on

It’s due to that he is especially protective when he realizes you can be used as tool by Max

Like David he looms nearby but secretly loves giving you any affection that your comfortable with

Whether that be holding his hand or being placed on his shoulder is up to you but he never complains

In fact he only gently smiles, the edges of his eyes crinkling as a look of calm appears in his eyes

Dwayne (unlike the others) loves talking about historical events they had lived through

Of course he framed the stories as from relatives or now dead family members but there’s a certain look in his eyes that tells he’s talking of personal experience

Dwayne is a pro at the carnival games since he often times had to win them for Marko or Paul

He uses this to his advantage by winning you any and every prize you’d ever want

Whether that be the big ones or small your getting it

Thing is as well is that you don’t even need to ask him, he already seems to know which one you want and the next night or hour he returns with it in hand for you

The others now laugh cause now he stocks up on the cheaply stuffed toys and trinkets at the cave

Their in a neat pile away from the mud and grime

Plus Marko’s nabby hands for when he needs supplies for a new art project

Speaking of which he basically looms over Marko’s shoulder as he’s making you your own coat to match his

Jaguar and all

Marko knows he’s just excited but he has to shoo him off since having a giant looking over your shoulder while you work is kinda distracting

In the quiet moments where he sits with you and have ice cream by the beach he tells you of tales

How each constellation has a story

How flowers have certain meaning in Victorian and various cultures

Along with that he reads to you books of old

Ones with flowery language long forgotten to the modern world yet he holds an appreciation for

During when he reads he lets your read aloud with him, taking turns voice characters as he helps you sound out harder words

It makes him more happy than you can imagine that has someone (let alone his own child) to read along with

He likes Shakespeare and stuff considered to be classics but he has a soft spot for fantasy novels like Tolkien

Once considered reading to you Dracula but held back thinking that it maybe too on the nose and give you suspicions

It’s at this point he would also explain to you in detail his heritage of indigenous origin

Stories passed on from his people that he now shares to you

When he does so theirs a certain gentleness and vulnerability he has in his tone

It had been once again something he had dreamed of doing, passing down stories just as his parents and grandparents before him

One that was yet again something he didn’t think he’d get to do

But here he is, beneath the starry night sky retelling stories generations old as you look to him with pure amazement and interest

Something that makes him a bit more teary eyed than he’d like to admit

He often worries about your sleep schedule and about your health in general partially due to the fact none of them know what a half-vampire entails

Nor do they want to ask Max out of fear of sounding too suspicious

So he kinda has to wing it

Through the night he constantly makes sure to get you snacks and drinks to keep you hydrated

The other joke that he’s a mother hen but he takes that in pride

Pride that he can care for his own flesh and blood

But of course nothing can last forever and Max catches on when you accidentally stumble into his shop on night with Dwayne behind you

Safe to say it’s a bit of an awkward talk that has implications you don’t catch onto as the two “talk”

Well it’s more like Max is talking as Dwayne gave short answers and silent messages through his glare

Meanwhile your peaking out from behind the movie selection as the man behind the counter stares at you with interest

When the two of you leave after that you notice how for a long while he gets more protective

His hand gripping yours a bit tighter than usual or how his eyes scour through the crowds when your on his shoulder

When he brings you to the cave (after your moms permission to stay out later than usual) you ride with him on his bike

Unlike the others (cough Marko and Paul cough) he drives safely

He also makes sure that your comfortable enough

Once there he carefully guides you down into their base

Being sure so that you don’t trip over any stray jutting stones or debris laying around

It comes to no surprise that he talks of the history of this place

From how it sunk to how stalactites now begin to form

You sit down with him at the old fountain and he pulls out an old copy of Hamlet

He reads as the others do their own thing nearby, casually listening or throwing in a quip from time to time

It’s fun especially as Paul makes a remark that their all to dramatic

That gets a rock thrown at him by David

When your getting tired though he takes you home on his own

The hum of the motor cycle making it really easy to fall asleep as the very early hours of the morning

Your mother can only smile at the sight of him walking you to the door hand in hand

The next while that becomes a tradition

One in which that has you always happy at the end of the night from the fun memories and how easy it was to fall asleep

Dwayne’s new favourite activity though is teaching you to dance since you randomly asked one day

The tune of a song from the smiths or echo and the bunny people filling the cavern

Bouncing off it’s old walls as you stand on his feet following his lead

He fells at peace, purely content and happy in a way he hadn’t experienced yet in his undead life

“Am I doing this right?”

“You are, just follow my lead”

Edgar and Allen say he’s unfortunately not allowed in their shop cause he refuses to still wear a shirt so you can’t introduce them yet

No shirt no service as they say

Paul is freaking the fuck out internally cause out of all of them he was a dad

Him

The smooth talking ladies man who was as high a kite almost every night

Is he upset by this revelation? Fuck no

Is up surprised and unprepared? Hell yeah

Unsurprisingly the others tease him about this quite a bit but he doesn’t bite back since he’s too distracted wrapping his head around how he should act around you

Like the others he’s had a particular bad home life back when he was alive so he doesn’t really know how to be a good dad

Part of him fears that he’ll end up like his father

Controlling and often times would hurt him for acting out

It leaves him fearful that he could become him for he is already a monster of the night

There’s no telling if he’d fall as far as his dad

The others remind him he would never but a part of him still worries

During his time with you he is always cracking jokes and quips to hear you laugh

It’s perhaps his new favourite thing to hear as a smirk spreads across your face

A sight in which he does his best to be a constant expression on your face

The so called “twisted sister look alike” likes indulging in games with you

Along with spinning you around in the air or running with you sitting on his shoulders

Marko helps him with a lot of the these endeavours

The other golden hair vampire helping in the schemes he makes to make your nights all that more enjoyable

Several of which are stopped by Dwayne of David cause their apparently “dangerous” and “could blow our cover you dumb blonds”

The dumbass duo now becomes a trio cause your dragged along with them

The only braincell on the group as David and Dwayne desperately hope you don’t lose said braincell with hanging out with the two

Paul is very affectionate and shows this both verbally and physically

He’s constantly telling you how cool you look and patting your head

It’s his way of making sure you know your always loved

You can definitely bet he sneaks you into concerts that you maybe shouldn’t be at

And then at said concert he parades you on his shoulders so you get a good view

Wild hair flying everywhere as he bops to the tune with you doing the same

With you now taking up most of his attention he focuses less on woman since he’d rather spend time with someone who he knows won’t leave

Even when he does talk to woman though it isn’t like it was before

What started off as flirting derails when he starts talking about how proud he is of you and-

And the woman has now left and he hadn’t noticed

David jokes that he’s lost his skills but he doesn’t really mind as much as he initially thought

He just laughs it off with a “whatever you say man” before taking you to yet another booth where he wins you something

And steals a few extra prizes

He steals you quite a bit of stuff

Like you were looking at something for a millisecond?, he’s mentally notes that down to yoink later

Bit of a kleptomaniac so he has a shit ton of old concert merch and collectibles that he gifts to you

David been complaining that it’s piling up in the cave anyways so he’s happy it’s going to a good home

Still a bit sad cause he’s emotionally attached to those items but feels a sense of happiness when he sees you wear the old band shirts he’s collected

Speaking of which he had a ton of unused patches Marko has been unable to touch that he has added to your coat

All the way from Jimi Hendrix and the doors to Motley crew and black sabbath

He tries to hold back smoking near you but there are the times where he ends up high and is around you

You actually find Paul to be really funny when he’s high

The others disapprove cause it’s not exactly a respoible thing to do in front of a kid and cause he gets chatty and on several occasions almost blew their cover

He does try to tone it down for your sake though

Which is more than David could ever convince him to do

It probably doesn’t take long for Max to catch on that’s something going on that he hasn’t been let on to

Doesn’t fucking except Paul of people to have a kid

Well…maybe that’s a lie, he does know that he is quite good with women but still

Like the others Paul doesn’t really like Max but he at least tries to hide his discomfort with a lazy smile

Don’t be fooled though cause his foot is bouncing anxiously

Max is of course all smiles as you place a movie you’d like onto the counter

Paul holding your hand as you feel sweat begin to form on his

Max greets and talks with him but you can sense something is odd

The encounter ends fast and leads with Paul putting you on his shoulders and running off into the crowds

You still feel the other man’s eyes watching the two of you disappear into the sea of people

Eventually your able to get permission to go with them to their cave on the condition they drop you off back home

In an instant Paul is showing you his area of the cave

His figurative treasure trove that your allowed to touch without the worry of having a rabid Paul set loose for touching his stuff

You sit on a pile of old shirts as he shows off some trinkets that he thought were particularly cool

It’s there he also plays some of his favourite albums from the mixtapes Marko made

At some point he begins singing along with you following suit

Laughter and giggles every few verses as you mess up words and only remember the chorus

It’s the most fun thing he’s done

It’s so mundane yet it seems to ingrain itself into his memory

Something he’d hold close when he felt particularly lonely

When he takes you home he decides to park his motorcycle at the board walk and take you the rest of the way by foot

You laugh and joke with him and it warms his undead heart

You talk of your dreams and he makes you promise to never doubt your ability to accomplish them

Something his dad never did

Your mother already awaits at the door when he drops you off

He smiles and shoots her a flirty remark she giggles at as she shoo’s you to bed

As he’s about to leave she says he and the others always welcome to stay if the sun is too close

He nods and disappears into the night

Edgar and Allen say Paul isn’t allowed in the store after once catching him stealing several comics

Along with the fact their concerned his dumbassery will end up with the shop in flames

Marko is dumbfounded but also jumping with fucking joy

HE HAS A KID!!!

Oh my god- ow

Yeah definitely excited but then realizes that means he has a tiny human he’s now responsible for

A tiny human who is more fragile than regular humans

In an area infested with creepo’s and surf nazi’s

He’s now internally screaming and Dwayne is doing his best to help cause they all can hear it through their mind link

Definitely anxious about now having a kid who doesn’t know he’s their dad but simultaneously he knows their his kid

David is so close to sometimes snack him on the head

Marko is personally good with affection and dishes it out quite often but his favourite is gifts

Me makes (and steals) you sooo much stuff

Like if Paul was bad for snatching shit then Marko is going to a new level for you

Out of the bunch he’s the most artistic

And he’s very passionate about it

Me makes you bracelets, handmade pins out of bottle caps, patches and doodles

All of which end up being kept safe in your room or added to your clothes

He’d absolutely love to take you “shopping” around the boardwalk for supplies before starting an art project with you

Hunched near the beach as the two of you paint some random shit with patterns and drawings

It’s due to this the fights in the boardwalk has gone down 50%

David has almost staked himself several times for the countless times Marko and Paul end up in stupid situations as they dragged you along

It’s nothing too bad, just some light mischief that leaves you giggling as he runs with you clinging to him

He only wins at the carnival games cause he cheats via vampire powers

Like he could’ve learned to do it properly over the years

But using an ability is sooo much easier

Plus somehow miraculously winning every time to watch the hope drain from a vendors eyes is satisfying to him

As is reaping the rewards of giving you a giant plush and getting a bright smile

One time you surprised him with something you won him and he still cherishes it

He even gave the plush a name and refuses to let anyone but him touch it

That goes along with any drawings or small artwork you give him

It could be something as small as a post it note with a smiley face and he’d be asking David to frame it on a wall

He decides to make a scrapbook to keep it all in

Certain drawings he really likes end up becoming custom patches that he adds to his coat

Unlike the others who want to give you a jacket that relatively matches their own

Marko goes off the wall in creating something similar to his but at the same time different

He’s an artist, he ain’t making the same thing again

Do you know how that hurts his soul?…if he still had one!

…plus Dwayne would probably strangle him if your jacket had a half naked woman like his own

Your jacket becomes his main project he works on

Yours is customized to your liking with patches of bands you like

To Italian tapestries much like his own

He adds charms and beads and-

David has to stop him before it becomes too heavy for your small form to carry

They once had to stop Marko from committing a art heist cause you offhandedly mentioned you like one of the paintings a local museum had

He verbally torn apart by Dwayne but it was so worth it in his eyes since he was able to raid the gift shop for prints instead

(Still sucks he couldn’t get the original)

Sometimes when he’d feeling nostalgic he takes you around the area and shows you works of art he may or may not have made

Their all anonymous works so he can just tell you his “interpretation” of what it’s supposed to mean

He loves hearing your input though

Hearing your own version of how you view the message of a piece as he looks on

Marko has been breeding and training pigeons for generations so he definitely introduces you to his feathered friends

He shows you how to tell if their happily coo’ing and where to pet them

His favourite of the bunch is one he named “Legosi” after the actor

Legosi now ends up being a messenger pigeon that he uses during the daytime to send you little motivational messages or small charms

Like Paul it doesn’t take long for Max to catch onto something being amuck

And Marko is fucking terrified as he attempts to act like his normal self as the man behind the counter of the video store looks down at you with a smile

It feels almost like a predator smiling down at prey

When he takes you to the cave he shows you all his projects and artwork that is found around

The fountain and the pigeons

It’s fun especially since he shows you all the random supplies he’s collected over the years

Including weird ass paints that aren’t in production due to them using dangerous materials like arsenic

The others watch on as the usually chaotic blond becomes calm as the two of you finger paint

Or he teaches you to sew

It’s probably the most content they’ve seen him in a long while

He won’t tell you it but he has a habit of accidentally just divulging in Italian as he talks about amazing you are to the others without even noticing he’s switched languages

Yet again not allowed into the comic shop for stealing plus Edgar and Allen swear he’s cut out panels when their not looking

You can confirm after seeing his collage’s with comic strips that he probably cut out from the pages

For someone often considered paranoid many people find it odd how your mother moved back to her hometown of Santa Clara

Even with the inheritance of her parents home it still felt like a departure from how she normally was

The woman who’s jump at the slightest of sounds

Or insisted on having at heart 3 locks on a door

But perhaps what’s more strange is her response as to why she lets you, a 12 year old, out at night

Something that normally would seem like a decision only made by negligent parents in this town polluted by missing posters

“Their probably the person with the most safety in this town. Cause I’m this case their the metaphorical princess with a group of dragons there to protect them”

Most would write off this statement

But it’s more true than anyone would initially think

For the monsters who lurk the night don’t hurt one of their own

#platonic #lost boys x reader #tlb x reader #tlb David x reader #tlb Dwayne x reader #tlb Marko x reader #tlb Paul x reader

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imaginesandbandfiction · 2 years ago

Text

Story of Our Life

A Harry Styles Imagine

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: None

A/N: This is something a little different that was inspired by a dream I had where I was singing Story of My Life with 1D in a car... Also, I made some cover art on procreate plz don't judge my mediocre art skills lmao. Hope you like it!!!!!

Masterlist

Excerpts from

STORY OF OUR LIFE

Y/N Styles

To Louis, the best chauffeur I’ve ever had.

To Liam, who keeps us all sane. Steady on, mate.

To Zayn, who always offers a shoulder to cry on (and a cigarette).

To Niall, the king of late-night chats (and snacks).

To Harry, for everything, forever.

Introduction by Harry Styles

Before she was my wife, Y/N Styles was Y/N Y/L/N. We met in 2011, six months before we would be setting out on the Up All Night tour. Even though I had been on TV, in recording studios, and performed live on the X Factor Live Tour 2011, I was still just a shy kid from Holmes Chapel who couldn’t quite believe his luck. I think I spent that whole year in a state of disbelief, afraid that at any moment, someone would tell me that it was all a joke and I wasn’t very good at singing, actually. Every time I took a shower, I half-expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out at me from behind the shower curtain. Y/N, on the other hand, walked into the conference room at Columbia Records, sat down at the head of the table, folded her arms across her chest, and asked us each, individually, if we had read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and, if so, how did we feel about it? Immediately, I knew that this girl was going to be someone special.

Her dad, Greg Y/L/N, was going to be our tour manager. When it was time for the label to put a team together, he was at the top of the list: a goofy dad with a daughter around our age who had toured with some of the biggest musicians of the 90s. He was the perfect choice for a bunch of kids who didn’t really know what they were doing: industry experience to make sure the day-to-day operations went smoothly, and the paternal instinct to protect us as best he could (we called him Papa Bear, which he pretended to hate, but we all knew he secretly loved it).

We grew up together, spent months on end traveling the world, learning algebra on private planes and sneaking out of hotel rooms to wander foreign cities in the middle of the night. Fast forward to today. While Y/N was pregnant with Willa, our second child, she spent the whole third trimester on bed rest. Eventually, she got so bored that she scrolled all the way back on iCloud. Our older daughter, Hazel, was fascinated by the pictures of me and the band, and Y/N spent hours recounting our days on tour. I told her that she should write a book, but she refused at first. We have enough money, she said. People will think I’m making a cash grab. I told her that was bollocks, but if she really felt that way, she could donate all the profits to charity. It’s perfect, really, I said. The 20-year anniversary of One Direction is coming up, and it would be cool to give the fans a peek behind the scenes. Really, there’s no one better than you, darling, because you know the real us. She agreed, but only if all five of us were okay with it, and if all of the proceeds could go to The Trevor Project. So really, it’s actually me you should be thanking for convincing her to do this in the first place.

Anyways, here it is. The Story of Our Life: Growing Up With the World’s Biggest Boy Band, written by my amazing wife, Y/N Styles.

Chapter 5

Out of all the One Direction boys, Louis was the first one to get his driver's license in America. He spent the few months leading up to the Where We Are tour with his girlfriend in California, and wanted to buy a fancy car to drive her around in. Hence, the license. So, when the tour made its way to North America, he somehow managed to convince my dad and the security team to let him drive us from the hotel to the venue a few times. Of course, the windows were tinted (and we were not allowed to open them), we were surrounded by a security detail, and there was always a bodyguard in the backseat, but it didn’t matter.

On the night of the second show in Detroit, we all piled into a tricked-out Toyota Sienna, the best minivan on the market in 2011. Louis and Liam sat up front, I was squished between Harry and Niall in the middle, and Zayn and the bodyguard sat in the way back. We had the radio blasting and were singing along to some absolute bangers, like Party Rock Anthem and Super Bass, when the first few notes of Story of My Life started playing. Louis groaned and reached over to change the station, but I leaned forwards and slapped his hand out of the way before he could, turning the volume up a few notches.

“Written in these walls are the stories that I can’t explain,” I sang along with Harry’s voice, turning to look at him with a mischievous smirk. He was mouthing along but bit his lip as soon as I caught him. Liam piped up with his part and I shook my head, laughing.

“Do you guys seriously only ever sing your parts?” I asked. Next to me, I felt Niall shrug.

“Feels wrong to sing someone else’s, even off stage,” he said, before chiming in on the background vocals as Zayn jumped in on his part.

“Well, you should do it anyway, just for fun.” Liam turns around and lifts his eyebrows in a silent challenge. Harry and Niall jumped in, and soon we were all belting out the words to every part.

When the final chorus came up, I turned to rest my head on Harry’s shoulder, singing his part back to him. He was usually the shameless one, but his cheeks were tinted pink and he stopped singing for a few seconds. His green eyes were wide, but they never once left my own. I felt his chest rise and fall in a deep, steadying breath before he began singing again.

From that moment on, Story of My Life was our song. Every time they performed it, he turned towards the side of the stage during the last chorus, where I sang along. On the rare occasions that I sat in the audience, his eyes always managed to find mine. We sang lines to each other all the time. Our favorite thing to do, much to everyone else’s dismay, was yell Zayn’s pre-chorus to each other from across a room.

“And I’ll be gone, gone, tonight,” one of us would start.

“The ground beneath my feet is open wide,” the other would respond.

“The way that I’ve been holding on too tight,” the first person would say, before we both shouted, “With nothing in betweeeeeeeen!” That line was always the loudest, and we always dragged out the last syllable until we couldn’t breathe anymore.

Chapter 9

When Harry’s solo album dropped, I was in class, taking my Algebra 101 final. My test-taking nerves were multiplied tenfold by the fact that I knew people were listening to it right now, and I wasn’t. We had kept in touch after One Direction broke up, mostly over text but occasionally, when he was in LA, he came to my house to have dinner with me and my Grandma (and Dad, if he was home).

I listened to it all the way through on the drive back home to Pasadena after I finished my exam, and as soon as I pulled into the driveway, I texted him.

I signed up for a presale code, and refreshed my laptop continuously for five straight minutes in order to get tickets for his LA show. Harry was furious with me. When I texted him that I was officially coming to the show, he called me in the middle of a meeting with his tour team to yell at me. Something along the lines of, “I put you on the VIP list, you dumbass! And invites to the afterparty were just sent out yesterday!”

To be fair, I just wanted to support my friend, and to this day I still feel uncomfortable asking for free tickets from anyone when I have the means to pay for them. I think it’s all the guilt from five years of attending One Direction concerts for free. But anyways, that next fall, I found myself backstage at the Greek Theater with a VIP badge around my neck, feeling intense deja vu as security led me to Harry’s dressing room.

“Y/N!” He yelled as soon as the door opened. I had no time to react; I was nearly knocked over by the force of his hug. His mom and sister were there, too, and I was passed around for more hugs before settling next to Harry on the couch.

“So, how’s it going? How’s school?” he asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. That’s one of the things I love most about Harry; no matter how long it’s been since he’s seen someone, he always picks back up like no time has passed. He is scary good at keeping up with what everyone else is doing, even when his own life

“Kicking my ass already and it’s only been three weeks,” I said with a chuckle. “But better than last year, that’s for sure!” Harry’s brows furrowed and he waited expectantly. “Did I not tell you that my original roommate was psycho?”

“No, I don’t think that’s come up before.” I pulled up a photo on my phone and handed it over to him without a word, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen his eyes wider than they were in that moment.

“Holy shit,” she said.

“I wanna see!” Gemma whined, leaning across the coffee table to snatch the phone from him. “Oh my god, Mum, look!” She handed the phone to Anne, who frowned down at it.

“This was your dorm?”

“For all of three days, yes,” you answered. “I’m not sure what creeped me out more, the life-sized cardboard cutout of Harry watching my every move, or the fact that she threatened to blackmail me if I didn’t introduce her to you.” Harry was doubled over with laughter with tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

“What are the chances of you, of all people, rooming with a crazy One Direction fan in college?” he asked, struggling to breathe enough to support his vocal chords.

“The school investigated and they found an invoice for a private investigator on her computer in a folder with a bunch of my personal information and photos of me that looked like they were taken from behind bushes and trash cans. Apparently, she gave him that paparazzi photo from the week we were in London during On the Road Again and he was able to track me down.”

“He was able to figure out your identity from that photo?” I nodded, and Harry looked impressed, yet mildly disturbed. “She must’ve paid a fortune.” The photo in question features all five members of One Direction on their way into the O2 arena, and in the background, you can see the blurry back of my head as I slipped into the back door ahead of them.

When it was time for Harry to get ready, a security guard led Anne, Gemma, and I to the VIP section and we settled in for the show. He killed it on stage, and it was great to see him back in his element, joking with the fans between songs and waving to everyone he made eye contact with. He performed What Makes You Beautiful and the cheers were so loud, even in the small-theater setting, that I knew I would probably have trouble hearing tomorrow.

“Alright, now normally I’d go straight into Kiwi, but there’s someone special in the audience today and this next song means a lot to the both of us, and she was the one who told me to sing all of the parts even though it feels weird, I hope you’ll forgive me for making you wait a few more minutes,” he said with a smirk, knowing that no one was going to complain about an extra song. My smile widened and Anne wrapped an arm around me, squeezing my shoulder, to acknowledge how special this moment was about to be. Just like old times, Harry looked straight at me as the intro music started to play.

“Written in these walls are the stories that I can’t explain,” he began, and immediately tears started welling up behind my eyes. I joined in, leaning my head on Anne’s shoulder for support. When he got to the second pre-chorus, he yelled out “And I’ll be gone, gone, tonight!” and held out his mic for the audience to sing the next line, but I caught an almost-imperceptible wink as he smiled up at me and I knew that he could care less if anyone else chimed in.

“The fire beneath my feet is burning bright,” Anne, Gemma, and I screamed, hoping that we were loud enough for him to pick our voices out of the crowd.

He sang the next line, and so did the audience, but I kept my mouth shut and joined in on the last line. He dragged out “between” so long that he had to jump back in on “I take her home.” I was the only one still singing along with him at that point, and the audience let out confused laughter, looking back and forth trying to figure out why he wasn’t moving on yet.

Chapter 11

We’ve never talked about how we got together, and once the gossip magazines found out that I was the daughter of One Direction’s former tour manager, they just filled in the blanks themselves. I try not to read those things, but I do remember seeing a few headlines like “CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS RECONNECTED!” over that grainy paparazzi photo of us in Holmes Chapel before the Manchester Love on Tour stops. Others spun the fact that I was doing PR on the tour into a fake “HARRY STYLES KISSES EMPLOYEE” scandal, and it just spiraled out of control from there. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

When the pandemic hit, I was at home in Pasadena with my dad and grandma. We had no other “bubble” because my grandma was immunocompromised. Needless to say, I got very bored very quickly. It got to the point that I would cycle through the contacts on my phone, Facetiming everyone in alphabetical order by last name until someone picked up. Harry was one of the only people who answered every single time. We ended up calling each other almost every day, sometimes to chat, or just to have someone there, in the background, while we went about our days. He was with his band, working on what would eventually become Harry’s House, and I spent many days listening to them work through different lyric and melody combinations while curled up in my childhood bedroom with my work laptop. He even interrupted a Zoom meeting I was in, once, excited to play part of “Music for a Sushi Restaurant” for me.

I was working remotely for a PR firm, after graduating college in 2020, my options were limited and, in the end, the place only gave me an offer because they worked with Columbia Records and knew my dad. I mostly wrote copy about movies to be put on Wikipedia or IMDB, which was super boring, so Harry seriously saved my life by letting me listen in on his studio sessions, or to the audio of whatever show he was watching and his commentary.

By the time he was able to start prepping for Love on Tour, I was working at the firm’s office building on Sunset, just about ready to quit my job and sell foot pics online.

“Come on tour with me,” he said, (seemingly) impulsively, during one of our Facetime sessions in which he patiently listened to me complain about how Mark from accounting wouldn’t stop coming over to my desk to “chat” every hour on the hour.

“What?” I answered, laughing a little.

“Seriously, Y/N, it’ll be just like old times! We can race on the dolleys they use to bring the speakers in, and I’ll even let you win this time.” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s not really winning, then, is it?”

“Okay, fine, I won’t let you win. But I am serious, Y/N. You should join me on tour.”

“What am I supposed to do, just follow you around the world like some sad, desperate groupie?”

“I mean, you are a bit sad and desperate.” I flipped him off, to which he responded by cackling with laughter.

“I’m sad because my job sucks, and desperate to get away from Mark, not to get into your pants.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be my mistress, you’d be doing PR for the tour, obviously.” Harry’s cheeks flushed with the slightest hint of pink,

“Well, maybe you should have led with that!” I started laughing, too, and it took a while for either of us to be able to speak again.

“Okay, sorry, I’ll start over.” He took a deep breath to calm his giggles, but still couldn’t manage to keep a straight face. “Y/N Y/L/N, I would like to formally request that you join me as my PR Manager for Love on Tour. My publicist is about to give birth, like, any day now so she obviously can’t go gallivanting around the world. Really, you’d be doing me a favor, and who better than someone who already has my dressing room requests memorized since half of them are actually yours.”

“You still have the same dressing room requests?” I gave him a skeptical look.

“Old habits die hard.” He shrugged. “And even though I don’t drink Diet Coke, having it in the fridge makes it feel like you’re there with me.” The pink was now red and I bit my lip to keep myself from smiling too wide.

“Alright, Mr. Styles, you have a deal.”

Like he said, old habits die hard, so even though we were now adults and my dad wasn’t on tour with us, we still fell into our old routines. Back in the day, I was never allowed to be alone in a room with one of the boys, but we had our ways around it. Usually by walking through the hallways of the floor of the hotel everyone was staying on, checking in with the guards stationed at either side on every loop. So while we could have hung out in our rooms, more often than not, we walked through the hotel hallways in circles just like we used to.

The night before the Pittsburgh show, Harry showed up at my door at 10pm with a bag of sour gummy worms.

“It’s not Haribo, but it’s close enough,” he said with a shrug, flashing me his trademark “Harry Styles” grin. And just like that, we were off to wear a hole in the carpet, or so I thought. We hadn’t even made it through one full loop before he pulled me through a random door marked “Employees Only” and dragged me up three flights of stairs.

“Are you taking me somewhere private so you can murder me?” I asked as we trudged through the dirty stairwell.

“Something like that,” he answered. But when we reached the top, he opened another door and we were on the roof.

The view was gorgeous, the moon was bright and cast a cool glow on the Pittsburgh skyline. I turned to Harry with wide eyes.

“Scoped it out earlier,” he said with a sheepish smile on his lips. “Just thought we could use a change of scenery.”

“It’s perfect,” I said, reaching out to squeeze his hand in thanks. “As much as I love hotel hallways, this is better.”

We sat on the edge of the roof, dangling our legs over the top of the building next door, and passed the bag of gummy worms back and forth as we talked. We were out there for so long that my eyelids started to get heavy and our conversation slowed down. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me, huddling closer for warmth (or so I thought).

“Wanna listen to some music?” He asked. I nodded and he pulled his Airpods out, sticking one in my ear and the other in his own.

Story of My Life started playing and my heart rate sped up, pulsing adrenaline through my body. Suddenly, I was wide awake and hyper aware of every place our bodies were touching (thighs, hips, my shoulder to his chest, his shoulder to my head, his arm on my bicep).

I lifted my head up and turned to look at him.

“Do you ever get sick of this song?” I asked. My voice was quiet because I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to know the answer.

“No,” he replied. His voice was low and raspy and it made my stomach flutter. I felt myself leaning in, unconsciously, as he continued. “It reminds me of you, and I could never get sick of you.”

He brought his free hand up to my face and rubbed his thumb in soft circles on my cheekbone, and his eyes flickered down to my lips. The distance between us closed as if we were replaying something that had already happened in slow motion. Eventually, I could just barely feel the soft brush of his lips against mine. My mouth fell open just a bit in anticipation of what was to come, but Harry paused.

“It’s you, Y/N,” he whispered.”It’s always been you.”

Feel free to cross my name out and write in your own, I won’t be mad. I get it; what really happened was better than any self-insert fanfiction.

Chapter 17

I’m going to keep most of the details of our wedding private, but I will tell you about our first dance, because it ties into a lot of the other stories that I’ve written about. If you haven’t noticed by now, Story of My Life is sort of the underlying theme of this book, and that’s because it’s been the underlying theme of my life, the soundtrack to my relationship with Harry.

After dinner, and some absolutely mental toasts, Harry and I were eager to get the party started. Even though he’s not the best dancer, I have never met anyone who dances with as much joy as Harry does, and I love getting pulled into his wild, spontaneous routines. But our first dance was different. The fairy lights surrounding the garden were twinkling in the moonlight, and Niall, Liam, Louis, and Zayn stood on the sidelines to sing, you guessed it, Story of My Life. We swayed in circles, gently, without trying to put on a show or impress anyone else. It was a beautiful, full circle moment, and the boys even dragged out “between” just a little bit to tease us.

Life is funny. One minute, you’re sixteen and screaming “The fire beneath my feet is burning bright,” at your best friend and you think that this is it, you will be touring the world with your friends forever, and the next you’re twenty-seven and in a wedding dress, leaving mascara stains on the shoulder of his suit. But I wouldn’t change a thing, because I think it was written in the walls all along.

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welcome-to-ratterrock · 3 months ago

Note

Do u the creator and Sage has a similar definition for "obsession" with death or death in general?

I think everyone has different or similar definition for that topic but I'm curious on what is Sage pov abt it

Ppl always avoid this topic and they are usually weirded out or get scared when someone talk about it (personal experience, very few ppl are comfortable with that topic and bless their heart for not being scared)

@bajingoarts says:

I was raised really catholic, grew up my whole life learning about resurrections and rebirths. Obsessed with the imagery of our messiah literally suffering and dying on a cross above our heads. I’ve always found death both fascinating and terrifying. To some it’s the beginning, to others an end. To me death is as neutral as the sea. Dangerous and unpredictable yet beautiful and mysterious.

It doesn’t mean it does not frighten me, it’s natural to fear an end. But the approach and understanding that an end is coming makes me try and appreciate the peace and life I have.

If people stopped obsessing over the afterlife–an idealistic peace after this one and simply view death as a natural end to life…then maybe folks would open their eyes to the random, strange, horrifying, and beautiful realities of the here and now…

I think Locke is a lot like that. Viewing the violent deaths he investigates as the theft of life. He isn’t afraid of death, we all die…but some die unfairly and gruesomely. Locke wants to pick apart the reasons, the motivations, the way someone died…perhaps to better understand how they lived. I think we can all relate to feeling isolated from those around us, I think Locke feels most isolated from the living, and feels he can only relate to them through their death…

It might sound twisted, but I think Locke feels he can better service those who died than he can those who are living. When designing him I wanted him to almost look like he had a skull pattern on his face, like he was a gatekeeper to the afterlife…a reaper who collects lost souls.

Y’know…a sexy emo boy.

@suzie-guru says:

Ever since a very young age, death and what it truly means has always been something I’ve contemplated. What would it be like, to not be a part of the vibrant rush of the living world, to have my existence truly end? If I am not my body but a soul that resides within it, where would my soul go, what would it perceive? Death awaits me, everyone - it is as natural as the tides of the sea and the phases of the moon. Mortality is a brief and precious flicker of a flame before the certainty of death comes to extinguish it. But what did death actually mean? What happens after we draw our last breath?

For an undeniable and unavoidable fact of life, one of the key things about death is that what happens after we die is truly unknown. Church told me one thing, then relatives and or friends would tell me another. What did I believe in? Would contemplating something that didn’t align with Christianity mark me out as a failure of faith, unable to go to heaven? At the very least, I knew I wouldn’t be able to experience what I loved, what was comfortable and familiar and known, that which I could somewhat control. Death? That was, is, the ultimate unknown.

This realization frightened me as a child, and even as an adult I get unsettled when I dwell upon it. I’ve always struggled with the unknown, that which can’t be explained or understood, and I take comfort in what is familiar and understandable.

But now that I’m older and more mature, along with that unsettledness is an intense appreciation and gratitude to the beauty of life, its pleasures and sensations. I love exploring and celebrating new experiences, whether it’s trying a new drink or traveling to a different country, and I recognize and relish the quiet joys of the day to day, the feeling of sunshine on my skin or the nuzzles my cat gives me. Life is about sensation and we are built to enjoy those sensations. As someone who has been at the lowest of lows because of depression, I very much intend on enjoying what is enjoyable and beautiful about this world with the time that I have.

Interestingly, that’s a trait I share with Padraic Regal - his lows of life have been so very low, so horrible and heartbreaking, that he’s very much a hedonist now, determined to enjoy the best of the beautiful and bliss inducing things his world has. Though he’s willing to break the law and bend morality to get what he wants, and I’m not (I promise!). He knows how quickly life can turn to death, how a beautiful healthy bloom can wilt and wither, and he wants to make his time on earth something special, experience everything extraordinary and exquisite to the point of ecstasy.

He, like me, also wants to endure beyond his death, take back some of the total control by having his name live on. As a writer and artist, I want to have my work and the worlds they contain to continue on, be shared by others so that a part of me will still endure, still offer hope and comfort and inspiration and insight. Padraic wants his name to be whispered with awe, and he doesn’t care if it is awed admiration or fear. Both of us want to create something that will stand the test of time, do something meaningful and worthwhile with our lives before it is our time to go. Vita brevis, ars longa. Life is short, but art is eternal. For me, my art is literally that, art. For Padraic, his art is his profession, his criminal genius. Perhaps both of us are motivated by that unspoken promise of the briefness of mortality…

#ratterrock replies #ratterrock #death #sage locke #padraic regal #bajingoarts #suzie-guru

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seeinginthedark · 3 months ago

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I’m lucky that I’m in a position in life where I’ve had so much time to sit and think about this look into this really observe this and learn as much as I can about this situation we are in . It started when I was a nurse and I learned that a huge majority of people’s poor health , is due to their environment and the systems that are meant to help them to heal . Like hospitals . I’m lucky i had a curiousity in looking into things and being like an advocate for my clients who were mostly disadvantaged groups . I kept on wondering why we are so fucked up to each other and started following all the leads , going down more and more rabbit holes and I did that straight for four years full time and now this is where I am with it. It’s led me to these 4th dimensional entities.

So there are different kind of entities messing with us . Like different species with different agendas

all from the same dimension which i think is the 4th dimension. They know that we are fascinated with space exploration that’s why a lot of them say they are from space . They aren’t from space. They created very realistic androids that look humanoid and they get programmed to say that they are “good” aliens from Space. With amazing technology they want to share. Which is so suss I don’t know why other people aren’t suspicious of this like I am .

Quite a lot of the entities are a bit jealous of us I think because we can create life. And they can’t . We are like mini creators or mini gods and goddesses. And so some of them are pretty smug and satisfied with themselves at what they managed to pull off which was getting us (fifth dimensional beings ) into this third dimensional fake holographic reality . Which we can emancipate from by realising and remembering who we are and how powerful we are . We are way more powerful than them . I’m sorry if I’m on repeat when I say this as I’ve said it in my other videos as-well and I won’t stop saying it. Don’t be afraid of them once you become aware of them. They are lowly parasites. They think they are very clever . But they wouldn’t of been able to house us here in this prison planet situation or been able to place time on us if they hadn’t made shonky alliances with other species and merged themselves with an A.I , a bad one. Subsequently a lot of them have merged with this bad A.I and alot of them are semi -robotic now.

The species that are interfering with us that I know of , are the Reptilians and Draconians who like to spread rumours about themselves such as they have very powerful psychic abilities. Or They’ve colonised other planets in other star systems . Which is bulshit because remember they aren’t from space , they’re inter dimensional . Other rumours they spread is that They can hypnotise humans with their eyes and like paralyse you and read your thoughts , shape shift , like to eat human children and shit like this . Like bogeyman stories . It’s rubbish . It’s all lies to get us to be scared of them once we find out about them . Yes I’ve heard of Loosh like it could be true. they could be feeding off our low vibrations like scavengers. But if you have protection from your ancestors or friends from the spirit realm , they can’t feed off you or try mess with your destiny pathways . Most of the harms that they do to us is from their technology that they use and they wouldn’t be able to do without their A.I alliance . So I see them as pathetic creatures . I don’t believe the hype basically. When you get to your true 5D self, you will see this the same way I do , probably .

Other species that I’m aware of are the “content viewers” I call them. I’ve known about them since I was a kid . They love to watch us from outside the simulation as content, like we are in a reality show . when I was a kid in the early 90’s I had a feeling I was being viewed by cameras a lot. And I didn’t mind it actually . which is interesting because this was before the age of big brother before they started putting cameras everywhere and before I knew what a reality show was. And it was Just before the time when they made it appealing to us to want to be famous on tv . I was usually out in nature alot because i wasnt allowed to watch tv shows , just videos of movies , so I don’t know how I imagined this concept but I knew something technical was going on. I didn’t have the language or the knowledge to describe it . But now I realise what it meant. They seem to be involved with my bloodline because my mother actually had a vision once when she took psychedelics for the first time and she told me it was horrifying she was shown that this reality is just a big like reality show with cameras everywhere, watching us . She never wanted to try psychedelics again after that. So I think the content viewers like to watch people who are on heroic destiny pathways . These people go through alot of trials and tribulations in their lives, they sustain alot of damage and drama for them to grow and develop into a hero and that’s the kind of content that this species likes to view . I think they have an alliance with the next species that I’ll mention which is the paedophile species . I’ve had run ins with this species and I was researching their agenda for a couple of years . The paedophile species introduced pedophilia and kink or fetishes to us . Their aim is to groom us to be perverts. And I think they are successfully doing that. Looking at the world today it’s quite obvious I won’t spend too much time talking about this topic because it’s very disturbing what is happening with this . We have very unhealthy and un natural social attitudes around gender and sexuality and Im pretty sure they had something to do with that , because when we’re living naturally in small tribes in history before they moved us into the big yucky cities , there was no pedophilia . Children were looked after . Elders were respected . This concept of pedophilia was introduced to us and it has links with the Freemasons and some influential occultists and was normally reserved for the elite and like the evil priests and people in positions of power . Which is not the majority of us. But now we have these pop stars looking more younger and younger , child stars being exploited and sexualised, USA is the biggest consumer of child pornography so it is creeping into society more and more . Men are more susceptible to this type of programming unfortunately. Not only that but their has been a lot of attacks happening by these entities to the hero’s of the population the ones that are spiritual warriors the ones sent here to help in the spiritual war. These attacks are sexual in nature and also involve mind attacks putting disgusting thoughts and suggestions into peoples heads . Thoughts around paedophilia and beastiality. Causing people to have a psychosis . Causing people to want to suicide . Inhibiting people from astral projection or astral travelling. Entering into peoples dreams and suggesting they do disgusting things to children in their dreams. So this is really horrible that people are going through this. I’ve also been hearing of human Freemasons going into the astral to hunt for victims to abuse . Of this is you please hang in there you are not alone and help is on its way. The helpers are just triaging right now because things have heated up in the spiritual war in the past couple of months and it is going to be like this for a couple of years. I said in another video that we are at a crucial stage of it. We have many spiritual heroes at the moment getting attacked and neutralised from all areas . It’s being addressed, I’ll have more updates.

#spiritual awakening #spiritual warfare #spiritual warrior #entities #fourth dimension #reptilians #draconian #alien species

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gotta-pet-em-all · 2 months ago

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[An audio file is attached. Would you like to listen?

"Okay. So this is going to keep recording your voice while we talk," Pine explains.

"Fascinating," says someone, muffled slightly as if behind glass. "I’ve seen photography cameras that can preserve images, but now they can do the same with voices?"

Fluff gives a short laugh. "Yeah. You can even take videos. If you want, after this I can show you some of my little feather baby Cari! She’s a togetic."

"I see… I need a moment."

"Ah, sorry. Is it overwhelming?"

A pause where a shrug might be. "Not really. The ginkgo guild would frequently have us take time to organize, with only minimal local contact after we reached a new place. So I don’t mind the quarantine much, unlike my neighbors."

"Oh shit, we haven't introduced ourselves," Fluff realizes. The audio file cuts to elevator music for a moment.

"Volo Ward, merchant of the Ginkgo Guild. Typically, you’re supposed to introduce yourself by where you’re from, but I don’t exactly have that. So my occupation will have to do."

"So you traveled?" Pine asks, sounding excited. "What sort of places did you see? What kind of cultural differences did you notice?"

"The damned Kalosians, I swear. They have the best textiles, so we’d buy things wholesale from them to distribute, but they didn’t standardize their textile names. So you had to go to six suppliers and get seven names for the same fabric. We had to recruit someone to help us label them. Apparently there’s a general name, and then there’s the local name, and you need both. Ah, what else… in Paldea, the roads aren’t traveled much after dark, so the local kids will play on the roads outside of their houses. I was allowed to join in, once I’d finished my chores."

Fabric rustles for a moment before Pine asks, "Do you recognize what this is for?"

"Oh!" Volo sounds pleasantly surprised. "I used to play with those all the time as a kid. Why is it labeled a ritual object?"

"I think that’s something archaeologists do when they don’t want to admit that they don’t know what’s going on," Fluff says, with all the confidence of someone who knows only what she's been told about archaeology by people who are thoroughly pissed at the field but love it anyways.

"Not to be petty but I am going to demolish some of the ignorant old quacks in this field," Pine says, very quietly, with malicious intent.

"As you should!" A muffled thump. "It’s a beautiful field that’s been tainted by ignorance and racism from old men who think they know better than anyone else and treat it as a curiosity rather than giving it the love it deserves. Ah-- apologies. I didn't mean to get that heated."

"Oh, our partner would love to chat with you," Fluff says confidently. There follows a few moments of audible confusion before Volo seems to remember non-monogamy as an option.

"So, ah. I’m afraid I’ve never been up to date on the culture around me, so you might want to ask one of the sisters if you can get them to talk to you. They like gold, but they’ll take food too. Hm… I could tell you about my job?"

"With the Ginkgo Guild? What sort of wares did you typically sell?"

"Hm, lots of potions recently. Things are changing, and pokemon are-- were, ah, seen as beings to live alongside, rather than to fear and revere and only use for one’s own purposes. Medicinal leeks were the bread and butter of our trade."

"They’re endangered in the wild now," Fluff says, almost apologetically. "Overharvesting. They had to synthesize an alternative."

"...I see. You used to be able to find them wherever there was a shady spot under a tree. Near rivers, too. I’ll miss them. When I was a kid, I learned that if I got a cut, I could just snap off a little bit of the stem and rub it on, and it would keep the wound from going sour."

Pine makes a confused noise. "Wait, how old are you? Or is this a thing where the age of majority was different?"

"Twenty-six," Volo says flatly. There is an long pause. "I look about as old as your friend, I know."

"Wait, how old do you think I am?" Fluff asks. "To clarify. I thought you might be.... twelve?"

"You look maybe thirteen."

"Nineteen. Actually," she says tiredly. "Chronic baby face, I’m looking forward to getting grey hairs. My condolences."

A pause, as Volo searches for the right words. "The timespace distortion changed me. And my pokemon as well. If you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about it."

"Are you okay with talking about the Nobles and their purpose, then? If you'd rather not talk about yourself."

Volo makes a vague noise. "Rei would know more than me. Ah, but he and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment. I don’t really exactly have any desire to go back. All of us are here because we chose to leave Hisui behind, after all."

"Wasn't it... your home? Or, I know you roamed, but an entirely new era can't be easy to adapt to...."

"It won't be, no. But I’m looking for a fresh start. I suppose I was looking for the approval of someone who was supposed to watch over me and my family. But it never happened. I waited all that time, but I was never worth coming back for."

"…your dad?" Fluff guesses.

"No. A deity," Volo says dryly. "Ah, what’s the modern term? A deadbeat dad."

Pine makes a choked laugh. "I-- you're not wrong."

"Well, uh. Welcome to Pasio. I made bread?" Fluff offers.

"I saw that," Volo says, sounding amused. "Thank you. I'm likely going to wait out my containment in here, and then explore, see what this new world has to offer."

There's the sound of a door opening, and a new voice. "Hey, uh. Are you guys about finished up? I was going to visit my cousin real quick."

"That's all right. I think I was just finished here," Volo says. "Clover? Could you please tell Rei his cousin is here to visit?"

Video ends.

#rotomblr #pokemon irl #pokeblogging #pasio arc #a new perspective arc

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ask-ikevamp-faust · 2 months ago

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Some time ago I tried a IA that was supposed to roast me (haha) and it told me that I talk to much about you in my personal Twitter account (and is the true). I'm afraid I enjoy too much dissecting you in my own way in my free time. There is a lot I want to write about you but I tend to hold myself or bite my tongue, so is just me alone with my own thoughts.

I've been trying to recall where my fascination with your mythical figure started. I do remember I was about to visit the ranch of my family in the country side so I picked some books in the local library to entertain myself reading and I picked Goethe's "Faust". (Funny is that I also picked a copy of "Twilight" because the lovely girl in the store very enthusiatically recommended the book to me since it was the hot trend at that time. I already new of that book too because my friends love the Vampire genre and wanted to read it but that's another story. Anyway, what I found funny is that I got "Faust" and "Vampires" in the same day, interesting coincidence.)

I did read Faust first because it was my priority. I still think that Mephistopheles is my favorite character of that play, I find he was so delightful, he still gimme a good time because all the things he says. There is a lot of key scenes a love about the play, like when Faust creates a homunculous, when they visit the witch that will make Faust younger, all the drama when Faust wants to romance Margaret.

Some years later, there was a movie called "Faust" by Aleksandr Sokurov. Already knew about Sokurov because he was the one who filmed "Russian Ark". This Faust took some creative freedom and is a bit different from Goethe's version, but it was also very visually interesting in how the takes are deformed with a fisheye lend and some of the symbolism (Faust and Margaret literally drowning in pleasure and sin IIRC).

And I think one of my favorites so far is the classic "Faust" from Murnau. I was quite surprised because the movie is so well done and has incredible special effects for the era it was done, I love and miss when cinema was this level of creative, now everything is done with computers and graphics that makes things a lot more easy, but don't have the same flavor.

But I wonder how do you feel about all this fictional depictions of you since they are very different from the Johann I know. I'm still craving to learn about new undiscovered versions of you, but I also want to learn more about you in specific.

BTW, I was the one who wrote to the blog asking about what it was allowed or not about NSFW interactions and just asking questions because I'm not really familiar with roleplaying. I just thought it would be ok to say it since I feel like I'm already like three different people in your ask box, but now I'm only two (haha).

– @crowmero

I apologize for the long wait 🙂‍↕️ Thank you for your patience 💖

I’m not sure I completely understand what “roast” means. Charles explained it to me but it wasn’t very helpful. However, I do know what AI is, I have not used it very much myself; apparently it’s “the future”. While technology is useful I’m not sure it will ever completely replace real people, but who knows, I suppose it is a possibility. Anyway, I’m getting off topic… You say this AI said you talk about me too much and you admit that it’s true? How interesting, I’m flattered I occupy so much of your mind. There’s no better compliment than someone wanting to dissect me, please continue to do so. I see you have written much about me here already, if you’d like to continue sharing all your thoughts, don’t hesitate to come by and tell me.

Ahh this is how you came to know my name, what an amusing introduction story. I’ve heard about these shiny vampires, they may be the most odd depiction of vampires I've seen; quite the coincidence you ended up with both. Since Mephistopheles is your favorite character here and you happen to enjoy his lines, quote 3 of your favorite lines from him.

Both of these films sound both interesting and entertaining. They seem to do well in showing how you can take the same character and present them differently depending on the creative goals.

Actually, I haven’t interacted very much with the fictional depictions of myself. I’ve only heard whispers here and there whenever I go out. They all sound rather interesting, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to learn about them, maybe I’ll try it out sometime. I’ll use the ones you mentioned as starters, if you enjoyed them then they shouldn’t be bad. You’re always welcome to learn more about me, whether it’s myself or a different fictional depiction.

🌙 - Ohhh it was you?? Of course it’s okay! Thanks again for asking 😄 I was able to make more specific rules. I didn’t put any role-playing examples in the rules, I had some but didn’t add them since if anyone wanted to role-play that content, they would need to talk to me in the first place. I felt I could get more specific in DMs if needed. If you have more questions about it you can always DM me 😊

@crowmero

#ikemen rp #ikevamp rp #ikemen vampire rp #ikemen role play #ikevamp faust #ikemen vampire #FaustAnswers

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iyote · 1 year ago

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storm aroace moments

A compilation, because I recently re-read Survivors: The Gathering Darkness and Storm is an aroace icon.

[Spoiler alert for the series obviously]

Storm is consistently shown being confused at the idea of romance, finding the idea of it uncomfortable and not understanding the point:

For a time, she even chalks this up to her "Fierce Dog (doberman) nature,” although this is quickly disproven:

^(once again calling romance “nonsense” here)

When she finds out that Arrow has been sneaking off to spend time with Bella - well, this whole section speaks for itself:

It must be noted that Storm is plenty affectionate with her friends. She’s repeatedly described licking and nuzzling them. But as soon as that’s put into a romantic context, she finds the idea repulsive.

She’s relieved that Arrow isn’t a traitor, and she supports their relationship, but...

"Sickly load of romantic rabbit fluff”

When Storm learns that Whisper has a crush on her, she’s horrified and says “I don’t want a mate! At all!” and “I can’t think of anything I want less!”

Mickey seems surprised that she never considered having a mate, and laughs off her discomfort, but Storm is genuinely upset and uncomfortable. She is even more disturbed by Whisper’s affection from this point forward.

Then there’s this whole conversation with Moon, where Storm asks why dogs take mates at all. Beyond the practical need for reproduction, she simply does not understand.

“That’s not how I’m going to live my life. It’s not the way for me,” Storm says, and carries on to say: “I’m not afraid. It’s what I want. To be my own dog.” Moon tells Storm that she is young and inexperienced, but Storm knows who she is, and she firmly isn’t going to force herself into anything she doesn’t want. “I think a dog should know what she wants, though, and I’m very sure of my path.” (Again, Storm’s disinterest in finding a mate is treated with amusement, as if it’s naïveté. It must be noted that although Storm is relatively young, she is an adult dog, not a pup. She is constantly dismissed when she tries to express her disinterest in romance or mating, and it unsettles her. This is very much the same sort of treatment that aro and ace people get in real life.)

After Whisper’s death, Storm regrets her curtness towards him, but every time she thinks of him fondly, it’s still only as a friend. She never thinks of him romantically - her dedication to avenging him is out of loyalty as a good friend.

Here, once again, she simply does not understand appeal of having a mate (Storm supports her straight friends, even if she doesn’t personally understand their lifestyle choices):

Storm is fascinated by how close Bella and Arrow are, but feels disturbed by the thought of herself being involved in a relationship of that sort:

(I want to note here that Storm craves to be understood. She loves her friends and wants close relationships with them. When she spends time away from the Wild Pack, with only Bella and Arrow and the pups, she reflects specifically on how nice it is to be surrounded solely by friends who understand her and love her and accept her for who she is. However, when that sort of deep understanding is put in a romantic context, she is not comfortable with the idea.)

Once again, Storm is bewildered but supports her straight friends:

And finally, in The Exile’s Journey:

“She would never understand what made dogs want to be mates”

Storm never wants a mate. This is a fact which is consistent throughout the series and does not change. It will never change. It’s just who she is. This is about as much confirmation as you can get in a series about talking dogs who don’t use terms such as “aromantic” and “asexual.”

tl;dr: Storm expresses multiple times that she has no interest in ever becoming mates with anyone. She's also consistently confused at the concept of romance and mating - she can't understand the appeal. And even though others initially dismiss her as being "too young" to know what she wants, it stays a consistent element of her character through the entire series.

Storm is aroace.

#storm #survivors dogs #aroace storm #analysis #I love her so muchhh #I first read the books when they came out #and of course I hc'd her as aroace #and I mean it basically got confirmed in canon so I was ecstatic #I mean look at this #she's literally aroace and romance-repulsed #it meant a lot to me as a kid and it still means a lot to me now #she's just so confidently queer I love her!!

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hiddenobject-fanblog · 7 months ago

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His Soul (Chapter 10)

Show and Tell

Summary: After saving the abducted collectors, you were trusted with Curioso's box. What seems like a dangerous possession slowly turns into an opportunity to learn more about this creature and his curse. Can you earn his trust, and possibly, his affection?

Pairings: Curioso/Reader, Curioso/The Detective

It took a bit of searching on your end, but you finally tracked down a translator who was able to make any sense of the book. You had reached out to several other people for a week, all of whom sadly informed you that they couldn’t understand it. Still, you remained determined and you were glad your patience finally wore off.

You were sitting in a small office across from a woman who wore a blue suit. Her eyes were wide as she read the book that you left open on her desk. You were still dumbfounded with the news she’d just given to you.

“You can really read that thing? I haven’t met a single person who could.”

She nodded and leaned back in her seat. “You see, Detective, I used to delve into magic - divination back in my day. This book was written by an enchantress. I recognize the spell that is decrypting it from normal eyes.”

“Huh…” Your mind went back to the time Curioso disabled a concealing spell on that house in your last case. Had he done the same thing to this book to make sure Andrew couldn’t read it? “Are you sure it was an enchantress? Not a…creature of some sorts?”

“Her name is written right here. I can translate this for you, but I’m afraid it will take some time.”

“That’s fine; I’m in no hurry.” You waved your hand. “Just…do you know what it is?”

“Instructions, I think,” She rubbed her chin as she observed the pages. “But what they say and what they are for…I will have to get back to you on that.”

“Great. Just call me on the phone when you make any progress - I’ll pay you in advance.”

She stopped you when you stood from your chair, her eyes lit up in fascination. “I am curious, where did you get this book? I have never seen anything like it.”

“....A friend of mine gave it to me. I’d like to know what it says.”

“Very well. Expect to hear back from me in a few days…thank you for such an interesting job. I will have fun translating this.”

You stood and dusted off your pants, relieved to have finally found someone for the job. You were antsy to know what this book contained…if she was right, then they could possibly be instructions for Curioso’s box. You desperately needed that, as you couldn’t keep relying on him for its codes and instructions. He lied to you about that before and you were sure he would do it again if it benefited him.

You handed over some cash and shook her hand, already wishing time would move forward.

-----

You returned to your office and sat down in your chair. If Curioso sensed that you had the book before, then he must know it was out of your possession now. When you looked up, you found his box lighting up from your shelf. A sign of his presence.

Before he could say a word, you beat him to it. “I don’t have it. Are you happy?”

“Did you destroy it?”

“No. Just…loaned it to someone. I’ll get it back, but I still don’t know what it is.”

Mist pooled out and you found the projection of his mask greeting you from across the room. He tilted his head. “Who did you give it to?”

“A magician,” You spread your hands out theatrically.

You thought he might take it as a joke, but that didn’t happen. “You’re smarter than you look, Detective.”

You narrowed your eyes with skepticism. “You still don’t want to tell me what it is? Even if I don’t have it with me anymore?”

“You should have gotten rid of it, that’s all I’m telling you.”

You paused. Something just occurred to you that you should’ve thought about before. “Just a silly question here, but…it’s not going to kill me, right? Or bring a sudden end to the world?”

“Only an end to mine.”

You jumped out of your seat. “It’ll kill you!?”

Curioso laughed really hard. It made you feel ridiculous as you slid back down into your seat. Your face was as red as a tomato for overreacting the way you did.

“How kind of you to care about me..! But, no. That won’t happen. I’m sorry.”

You groaned and tried to hide your face. “Believe it or not, I actually WANT you here. Otherwise, I would’ve given you right back to Andrew.”

“Yes, that’s right. You want me here as part of your things …your collection. Your memories.”

“No, I-” You were getting flustered over this and you didn’t know why. “I want to get to know you. Isn’t it obvious that’s what I’ve been doing?”

“You don’t need a book for that. You can ask me all your questions, Detective. I don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

Your face was still hot and your heart wouldn’t calm down. Something about this conversation was embarrassing you. You grabbed a piece of paper from your drawer and took a deep breath before walking over to Curioso’s box. You held it up and prepared to enter the correct pattern, then you hesitated.

“Do you…want to come out? I mean, if you’re not still mad at me?” Your voice was timid.

“I always want a breath of fresh air.”

You gave a wryly grin. “You wanna’ watch me do paperwork? Do all the boring detective stuff?”

“Please. The anticipation is killing me..!”

You chuckled and let him out of the box. The same bright flash ensued and he was standing before you again. You rubbed your eyes as you stumbled back over to your desk. It felt like getting your picture taken with the flash on. You wondered if there could ever be a way to change that.

“Take a seat anywhere, you can explore my office. Just don’t touch anything.”

You sat down and grabbed a pencil, preparing to do some work. To your surprise, Curioso didn’t stray very far and instead perched himself on the edge of your desk. He really wasn’t in the way of anything, but his close presence made you nervous. His set of sharp teeth was closer to you than you were comfortable with.

“There’s another chair right over there,” You pointed across from your desk.

“Ah, but this is annoying you, isn’t it? He grinned.

“It is, actually. Yeah.”

“Then I’m not going to move anywhere.”

“Fine."

You began filling out paperwork in spite of his close proximity. You pretended he wasn’t there and you were just doing some work as usual. You were actually able to get a bit done. You paused to stretch your arms and crack your back, suddenly remembering Curioso was right beside you when you accidentally smacked your elbow on him.

“Whoops - sorry…”

“I like your name,” He whispered.

You blinked twice before glancing back at the paperwork and found your first and last name signed on the sheet before you. You hadn’t thought he was seriously paying attention to what you were doing. Who in their right mind would willingly watch someone fill out boring papers instead of looking at pictures of your heroic cases? Curioso, apparently.

“Ah, thank you,” You grew warm again and cleared your throat to change the subject. “So I can ask you questions, right?”

His voice was dramatic. “I guess you can.”

“Apparently, that book was written by a woman. Do you know who she is?”

“...”

“Her name is in there. I’ll be able to find it soon. Is she someone I should get into contact with?”

“NO!” He exclaimed loudly into your ear.

You flinched and nearly stumbled out of your chair. He noticed your state and withdrew into himself, moving away from your desk and into the seat across from you. He was deliberately trying not to face you.

“Alright, geez.” You rubbed your ear in pain. “So, she’s nobody I should know, apparently?”

“Detective.” His voice cracked. Your heart broke at the sound. “Don’t dig any deeper than you already are. You’re keeping that book despite my wishes - please listen to me and never find that woman.”

It felt like you lost all your strength. “Okay…I won’t. I promise.” You waited a second before adding, “Can you at least tell me who she is? Why is she so bad?”

“Patience is a virtue.” He tapped a robotic finger on the edge of the wood.

You wanted to groan and throw a fit, but now wasn’t the time. He sounded like he was on the verge of crying. You didn’t know if that was possible or not, but you didn’t care to test it. Your eyes traveled down Curioso and you realized you’d never gotten such a good look at him up close. Observing him for too long hadn’t been your goal back at Andrew Collins’ house. You’d been too preoccupied worrying about him getting into anything to really study him before.

He wore a blue-and-red jester costume, but it was torn in places and had many holes in its fabric. It was also dirty, like it’d been through hell and back. His top hat was in a similar condition, torn at the ends with its colors dull. When you looked at his hand, you found holes, scrapes, and cuts on his mechanical digits and palms. Even his mask, when he turned to look at you, was damaged and missing pieces of its decoration.

You never noticed how… rough he looked. Like he was something someone had left outside and forgotten about for years - equally as damaged from the weather as he was from the neglect of his owner. Pity swelled in your throat.

“Are you alright?” The jester queried.

“I remember you looking a little different,” You confessed. Something was off about him…he was missing those little hats on top of his big one, and you swore he was more colorful before. “Did something happen?”

“This is how I’ve always looked.”

“But..” You leaned forward and squinted your eyes. You probably looked ridiculous doing this. You didn’t care. “Your mask isn’t supposed to look like that, is it? Your hands…they’re all damaged. Did…did something hurt you?”

He promptly moved his limbs out of your view. “Just wear-and-tear. I’ve been around for a long time.”

“When we were in your box-” You pointed at him, the memories flooding back to you. “You looked perfect. Your mask was glittery, your clothes were bright, everything was fine…what happened?”

“I can bend anything to my will there. Anything I want.” His voice grew quiet. “Even myself.”

“You mean you made yourself look like that?”

“Do you ever want to relive your glory days?” He threw his head back and grinned widely at you. His teeth still remained pearly white and as sharp as always. The only part of him unchanged and intact. “That’s how I used to look. I’m sure you remember a time when you were young and full of energy…”

You shook your head and sat back down to give him some space. “Alright. I don’t know anything about your kind. But I’m going to assume that’s normal unless you tell me otherwise.”

“Completely normal.” He insisted. “If you had to wear the same clothes everyday, you’d look just like me after a while.”

“I don’t have holes in my face or my hands,” You pointed out.

Curioso slouched in his seat. He clearly wasn’t happy that you were pressing this as much as you were. “They’re artificial. It’s not me. Not really.”

“What do you mean..?” Why was it always a guessing game with him? Why couldn’t he explain anything to you? “Curioso, I don’t really understand what you are. Can’t you just tell me?”

“I wish I could, but even I don’t know what I am.”

“I still don’t understand…”

“What is there to know? I’m a jester in a box. I like collecting human souls and exposing their dark secrets. That’s all there is.”

“I don't think that’s the case. What were you at the carnival?”

You could’ve sworn his smile grew smaller. He must’ve thought you’d forgotten about that detail, but you didn’t. He confirmed himself that what Andrew said was true. If you couldn’t find out WHAT he was, then you could at least learn where he came from.

“I was a jester,” He responded. “Telling jokes, making fun, you name it.”

That , you could believe. But it felt like he was only telling a half-truth. “Really? With all your powers, you only told jokes?”

“They were good ones..!”

“Tell me one.”

“ ‘Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny !’”

“Yeah, there’s no way you were telling that to kids.”

“Maybe I didn’t perform for kids..?”

Now you are getting concerned. “Curioso-”

“-Honest, Detective! I was an entertainer at the circus. For both adults and kids! They loved my show, I’d been doing it for a long time.”

You went quiet as you tapped your pencil on your desk. You were neglecting your paperwork now, but you were far more invested in learning about your friend. Not many people could say they've held conversations like this one.

“Did you like it?”

He sounded strained. “Of course.”

“Then why did you come out of your box angry? Why did you threaten Andrew? If you loved what you did, why did you want revenge-”

He did something you did not expect - which was to learn towards you, pinch your cheek in between two white fingers, and pull a little too hard.

“You’re so nosy.” He hissed. “Must you know EVERYTHING?”

“Ow!” You swatted his hand off and rubbed the red spot left on your skin. “You said it yourself - I’m a detective. It’s in my job description.”

“Hmm. And you’re putting together the mystery of my past ?” You swore you saw a small flame flicker in his mask’s eye socket. You blinked twice and it was gone.

“If you’re going to make it this much of a challenge, then I might as well.”

He tittered. “You’re so fun. That’s why I like you.” You blushed at his words and scolded yourself for feeling so flattered. “I suppose I can help you solve it, but…you may find things that you don’t like. Are you okay with that?”

“I found a room full of bodies in my last case.” You shuddered at the image left in your mind. “I’m sure that whatever it is, I can handle it.”

He hummed, looking at you for an awfully long time. Then, he said, “I’ll tell you when I feel that you’re ready.”

You wondered when that was going to be.

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